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captawesomesauce · 3 years

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CaptAwesomeSauces Guide to Joy Division for people who just don't get why people like them....

When people think of Joy Division, they think of Love Will Never Tear us apart and so they go to the famous Unknown Pleasure album and they can be a bit put off by the first track Disorder because it is so discordant. It’s not their easiest listening song, but it will grow on you once you start to appreciate Hooks bass lines and Bernards guitars and the riffs and melodies. But it’s the worst song to start with.

Day of the Lords is a better dark post punk track with heavy bass that is more accessible I think.

New Dawn Fades is so heavy, sludgey, and one of those tracks that is a classic You ever wonder where industrial, grunge and alt-rock of the 90s came from, well they listened to a lot of NDF, but it’s not really accessible I don’t think.

She’s Lost Control is a favorite of a lot but it’s another discordant track like Disorder.

Shadowplay is a must listen. Like NDF, the opening is heavy, and then it kicks in and you understand why it’s been covered and loved by just about everyone who started a band and became someone. That guitate work!!!!

Interzone is a fun one if you love loud, fast punk music. It’s nothing like any of the other songs but harkins back to their old Warsaw days.

I remember nothing is a personal favorite, but the discordant nature of it will feel like nails on chalkboard to some people. The tension in the song is so palpable, which is what can make some people both love and crave it, and others go “oh fuck no”

Closer is probably more of the “commercial” and easier album.

Atrocity Exhibition is a really good song with so many various sounds coming at you from all over the place, you just feel unsettled the entire time, while Ian’s vocals work their magic. Not an easy listening song though.

Isolation on the other hand is radio/easy listening! This is a good song I tend to share with people who like 80s music. it’s pure synthpop goodness.

A Means to an End is a really simple track but a really good one with just a simple bass line and Ian up front and center.

Heart and Soul is a special track, it could almost be considered an instrumental the way the vocals are used, I really really LOVE this track and think EVERYONE should hear this one!!!!!! one of my all time favorites and a really good intro to what makes Joy Division special.

Twenty Four Hours is a perfect song. It’s post punk at it’s finest, and a song you should really listen to with the way it builds up and just goes straight into a full on power mode.

Decades is another song that is really incredible with the synthesizers and musical arrangement. This is such a great intro to JD song. It’s got all of the great elements that made New Order amazing later, and what makes JD great at this moment in time.

Substance album is a mix of everything over the years

Warsaw is just straight up fast UK punk and one of the best with a real earworm of a hook with 3-1-G.

Digital is just a personal favorite. The moment I hear it start I start moving. It’s probably one of my favorite JD songs ever. I can’t even begin to describe it. That riff and then when he starts screaming and everything... I just.. THIS is such a great track.... if you don’t listen to any other... listen to Digital when you are frustrated and you just need to yell DAY IN / DAY OUT!!!!

Transmission is another really good one too, it’s so polished and such a great track. It’s one of those that will get you moving and humming along to it. It’s special. Radio... live transmission.... Radio.... it’s one of their most perfect songs

She’s lost control on here is a lot better, but it’s still very discordant and not easy to listen to.

Dead Souls.... I mean cmon, the goth/industrial favorite... It’s honestly not one of my top 10 for JD but it’s a really great song.

Atmosphere is probably my all time favorite JD song. It’s so beautiful and they didn’t do a whole lot of beautiful songs, but this is so special. Morris is amazing on the drums and it’s worth listening just to hear his drumming. Don’t walk away ... in silence....

No Love Lost is another punk/post punk jarring song but fuck me running if it isn’t so exquisite in its execution. This is Joy Division when I think of JD.

Novelty is another song that starts slow/sludgey but really picks up in a pattern that would be ape’d so much in the 90s.

Komakino is absolutely in the top 5 of joy division songs. The sounds, the tones, the everything. It doesn’t get enough recognition and no one is screaming OMG i love Komakino!!! the way they do transmission or dead souls, but dude, I’d put this one above both. It’s a really special track that shows how freaking awesome bernard sumner really is.

These Days is a top 10 song but not sure it’s that accessible. I love it, and I love the music, but it can be a bit off putting the way Ians vocals are. Seriously though, it’s such a really good song that I really think people should give it a shot, because it is that good in the mix of proto-industrial/synthpop/post punk that just permeates the song.

So there you go, the easy peasy playlist would be: Atmosphere

Komakino

Heart and Soul

A Means to an End

Shadowplay

Isolation

Twenty Four Hours

Decades

Digital

Transmission

Dead Souls

No Love Lost

#Joy Division #music #post punk

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boaws · 5 years

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BOAWS Top Records of 2019

20 – Control Top – Covert Contracts (Get Better)

Sometimes you sit around and you try and think about what makes an album good or why you like it as much as you do and it's not entirely easy to narrow it down to one or two things. Usually there are some distinctive parts or sounds that strike me, but occasionally there are albums like Covert Contracts that bring together a number influences and pull them off quite nicely...and it just simply rips. I guess the three years between their debut EP and this first full-length were well spent refining whatever they were ingesting musically at the time, as what came out is a wild blast of post-punk that spans decades worth of sounds/eras that all fit along snugly next to one another on Convert Contracts. Is it going to reinvent the genre? Absolutely not. But is it kind of dance-able while also trying to smoothly hide that black eyeliner? Yup. It sure is. But it's also really good at doing it too. Control Top - Unapologetic (stream) BUY IT! 19 – Spotlights – Love & Decay (Ipecac)

Spotlights ride the fine line between post-metal and shoegaze, which I'm usually a little weary of because boy oh boy is there a lot of those bands and all those big riffs generally amount to a big old snoozefest. However, Spotlights caught my attention awhile back when their named popped up when playing alongside Hum on one of their many sporadic appearances. Turns out Spotlights weren't too shabby and their album Seismic was a bit of a winner too. They've since released their second album for Ipecac records and it takes the balance between the two aforementioned genres and toes that line even further. Love & Decay tweaks things a bit closer to the metal side of things, but still with some Midwestern flair and creativity in the realm of melody and definitely has the layers to appeal to the shoegaze crowd. Spotlights - Xerox (stream) BUY IT! 18 – Spit-Take – Falling Star (Dead Broke)

Spit-Take have been scattered around these pages plenty of times before, usually good for churning out two or three songs per release that make me appreciate them all that much more. Falling Star would mark their third full-length effort and it's about as consistent of a record that I've heard them release that sees them navigate though a pleasant balance of classic indie-rock/power-pop vibes while also throwing out some very Midwestern-ish clanky emo run throughs (“How”), which is usually always a good way to work your way into my memory. Short and sweet and available on both cassette and LP. Spit-Take - How (stream) BUY IT! 17 – VR Sex – Human Traffic Jam (Dais)

This is basically an alter ego of Andrew Clinco of Drab Majesty, wherein he typically goes by the alias of Deb Demure...here he opts for Noel Skum. I'm taking a guess that it's supposed to reflect the shift into a grimier/noisier side of the dreamy landscape that Drab Majesty typically inhabits. VR Sex contain much of the same undertones of something that Mr. Clinco would be associated with, remaining vastly catchy and rhythmic but now the game is a disassociated future where technology has apparently ruined society and now it gets darker, louder, and muddled in filth. Skum indeed. I'm not so sure the message is as conveyed as the presser would like one to believe, but I enjoy the tunes from a standpoint that it sounds like a slightly more modern Sisters of Mercy, Red Lorry Yellow Lorry or something along those lines. Not bad. I guess Human Traffic Jam will gain another level of appreciation years from now if it ends up hitting the nail on the head and we do in fact find ourselves in some type of Black Mirror episode. VR Sex - Sacred Limousine (stream) BUY IT! 16 – Cave In – Final Transmission (Hydrahead)

The trajectory for Cave In over the years has been one of the more interesting ones. Once a premier metalcore/hardcore band, they pulled the rug out from just about everyone and released their second album Jupiter, which sounded nearly like a different band...showcasing big hooks, melodies, and definitely a large infatuation with space-rock themes. I naturally loved it and was actually kind of excited for some reason when I saw that they had landed on a major label for their third album Antenna. Sadly it didn't go as planned and it was pretty much over after that album came and went without moving the needle a whole lot. Fast forward a handful of years following major label disappointment, the band suffers the tragic loss of bassist Caleb Scofield. The band had been in the process of recording/demoing for their first album in 8 years up until the point of his death and the recordings on Final Transmission are a collection of those. Andrew Schneider and James Plotkin did a nice job in smoothing out some of the rougher edges around what were mostly unfinished recordings, cause honestly I can't really tell in most places and the songs stand on their own for the most part. Final Transmission is, or likely would have been, an album that plants itself right in between Jupiter and Antenna, circling back to some of the spacey atmosphere and guitar tones that fed greatly into both of those albums sound. Possibly the album they would have made if RCA hadn't come knocking? Although it's unknown to me whether this is an actual final statement for the band, if it does indeed end up being that, it's a good'n. Cave In - Night Crawler (stream) BUY IT! 15 – The Bismarck – We Will Never Be Young Again (Self-Released)

The Bismarck have been around long enough to still have an actual website that hasn't been updated in years. As someone who still pays yearly hosting costs for some dumb reason and haven't quite convinced myself not to anymore, I guess I get it...but I know that's gotta be costly. The band is firmly in the PRF rock stable of bands, so that right there should give most of you an idea of what The Bismarck bring to the table. Over a run of what I think is five albums now, We Will Never Be Young Again seems to be an album that wants to prove defiant of its title, coming with full fire and energy and holy shit...anthems? Yeah. A song title like “Fuck You, Let's Boogie” certainly seems like something you could easily write off, but ends up being a bona fide gem of a tune. Solid album all the away around and if it ends up being to your liking, they have a rather deep catalog to pull from if curiosity strikes. The Bismarck - Fuck You, Let's Boogie (stream) BUY IT! 14 – Crumb – Jinx (Self-Released)

First album for the Brooklyn based Crumb and I'd thought I'd heard an EP or something before this, but upon further research, it would appear I hadn't. This introduction is fine enough anyway, wherein they combine that niche of slacker ethos that worked its way through a number of indie bands in the 90's and spin it with a chilled loungy/psych thing. Maybe a tinge of jazz influence here and there, but more or less it sticks to the poppy psych side of it all, leaving for a very breezy and smooth 28 minutes of music. The ambiance, or I guess mood, of Jinx is pretty heavy throughout, likely forcing the album to be something that is relegated to particular times of which it strikes just right, however when it does...it certainly works. Crumb - The Letter (stream) BUY IT! 13 – Razorlegs – Skip Skool (Self-Released)

Latest cassette from this improvisational noise/psych outfit, each side consisting of its own roughly 18 minute long descent into fuzz, pummel and blown amps. Side one is “Transistor Love” and gets things going with a rapid paced drum explosion that contends to outpace the entirety of the track, leaving me seemingly off balance for the duration. There are faint voices coming and going as the track progresses into its squalls of feedback and I'm left to envision that this is to mimic the joys of still using the radio dial (FM mute OFF...no cheaters) and then it promptly ends...picking back up with another steady drum beat that steers pretty much the rest of the track from one critical guitar injury to another. Flip the tape, you have “Skip Skool” and we're off with a death march of drums and the sputtering flare ups of distortion before turning into a full fledged burnt out psych mantra, sounding like it's trying to rip and tear its way off the tape that it was laid on to. Razorlegs - Transistor Love (stream) BUY IT! 12 – Breastmilk – Bliss (Chicago Research)

Chicago Research put out a variety of things this past year that I thought were all very solid in their own uniquely bleak and disturbing way, however Breastmilk kind of wins out of for things to play in the background if you genuinely want someone to be creeped out while being in your house. An interesting take on downtempo, that reaches its grimy fingers into the same head spaces of Throbbing Gristle, Nurse With Wound or the likes. An ebb and flowing bass churn scrapes along for 18 minutes of whatever hellscape this may be, the opener “Transient” using a ring-back tone to voicemail sample to unnerving ability. Not to mention a woman sobbing to the background of glass shattering and various other noises on “Jesus Piece”. Breastmilk provides the soundtrack for the horror, however part of the fun of Bliss is the open ended scenarios of whom and what it's playing for... Breastmilk - Transient (stream) BUY IT! 11 – HTRK – Venus in Leo (Ghostly International)

It sure doesn't feel like it's been roughly five years since HTRK released the excellent Psychic 9-5 Club, but that's the case. Following the death of co-founding member Sean Stewart, HTRK continued forward as a duo and have seen their sound venture further into the electronic world; relinquishing the heavy low end found on early recordings while cold pulses of bass and synth have since flooded over. Remaining consistent has been Jonnine Standish's vocal presence throughout, one that dictates the miscues, misery and loneliness in hushed breathy swoops. On their fourth effort, Venus in Leo, Standish and guitarist Nigel Yang return to the same nighttime introspection of regret, however with Yang's shimmering guitars coming back into play more so than we've heard in quite a while...fading in and out of the background. I kind of miss the heavy minimalism, almost deep-house vibe, that Psychic 9-5 Club had...but melancholy plays out in many different ways...and Venus in Leo seems to be the way HTRK wanted to tackle it this time. No matter, it's still immensely enjoyable. HTRK - Dream Symbol (stream) BUY IT! 10 – Jessica Pratt – Quiet Signs (Drag City)

Funny note, Quiet Signs was one of the first albums of 2019 that I really liked and accordingly I included one of the tunes from it on that respective months mix. My now fiance listened to it and then sent me a picture of the name of the song that was on and simply said “hate this”. Noted. It's OK though, we still love each other. How could you hate something as serene as Quiet Signs? Anyway, Jessica Pratt has been honing in her sound for several years now and took the plunge with her third album to record in a proper studio, which resulted in an album that sounds really far removed from being recorded in a proper studio oddly enough. The sparseness in instrumentation and the dreamlike echoes of Pratt's voice feel like both are in the same room with you, but still somehow a million miles away...or if that I'm not careful enough the whole thing will disappear entirely. It's the indescribable feeling of distance and brief lapses of clarity that make Quiet Signs so beautiful sounding. It comes and goes all too quick however, so I'll be anxiously awaiting the next appearance from Jessica Pratt. Jessica Pratt - This Time Around (stream) BUY IT! 09 – Notches – New Kind of Love (Dead Broke / Salinas)

Was blown away by Notches and their debut record High Speed Crimes around three or so years ago. It was pretty much everything I could ask for in a pop/punk record, bringing plenty of fuzz/distortion and a heaping fuck ton of melody. While New Kind of Love doesn't necessarily register on that same scale with me, it's still a fantastic record from a band that continues to peel off some of the catchiest material within the genre. It being the bands third album and all, it's kind of fun noticing them “growing older” of sorts and moving away from the turned up to “11” mindset. It's about the song now man, I mean it's always been I'm sure, but now it's no longer buried underneath a sheet of distortion. Can't blame them. I entered my listening to public talk radio in the car phase of my life here not too long. Totally feel ya. Give these guys a listen please. Notches - Funny How (stream) BUY IT! 08 – Dry Cleaning – Boundary Road Snacks and Drinks (It's OK)

From the opener “Dog Proposal” Dry Cleaning establishes very quickly that Boundary Road Snacks and Drinks is exhausting. I don't mean that in the negative sense either. The second EP from the UK based post-punk group is merely informing all of you out there that life is just extra fucking exhausting. Because it most certainly is. Singer Florence Shaw takes the six songs on this EP and crams so much of our current day-to-day nonsense in it that I'm basically getting an anxiety attack listening to this sucker. However, the honesty is appreciated and the contradicting jauntiness of some of these tunes is an excellent way to remind that no matter how tired I am that everything else is going to keep rolling as it always has. While there are much bigger issues at hand that Dry Cleaning tackle throughout, it's the debilitation of everything as a whole that Boundary Road Snacks and Drinks really conveys the most. After two excellent samplings from the band, it's pretty terrifying to think of the destruction on my nerves that they could cause with a full-length. Time will hopefully tell. Dry Cleaning - Viking Hair (stream) BUY IT! 07 – Kim Gordon – No Home Record (Matador)

It had never really occurred to me that Kim Gordon had never released a solo album up until this point of her lengthy career. I was kind of blown away by that to be honest. I guess it's just that Thurston Moore seems to fart one out here and there, so I'd assumed Gordon had done the same. However, as it stands, No Home Record is Kim Gordon's first solo effort and completely took me by surprise. Maybe I'd expected it to sound much like her material in Body/Head? I don't know. Or for it to be closer threaded to Sonic Youth? That's unfair, I know, but it is what it is. The good deal is that No Home Record is completely left field of about anything I expected; that takes equal parts no-wave and drags it through the glitch/industrial minefield. Gordon's voice fits right in with it all, adding to the instability and jarring nature of practically everything on this record. I'd never thought I would have wished for a Kim Gordon experimental electronica record, but it's 2020 baby and things are apparently really fucking different now. Fantastic stuff. Kim Gordon - Don't Play It (stream) BUY IT! 06 – Joshua Abrams Natural Information Society – Mandatory Reality (Eremite)

I somehow wish I could have this album playing practically the entire time I'm at work (it's almost long enough), but unfortunately my boss sits perched only a mere few feet away from me to ensure that maximum stress is achieved. Joshua Abrams and the NIC have created an absolutely astonishing collection of work on Mandatory Reality that is likely easier to zone out to than to deliberately ignore. You'll want to, because wherever Mandatory Reality exists, the grass is most certainly greener and I'm frantically waving my ticket to hop aboard whatever space-age craft is going to take me there at any given time. But really more to the actual music, Joshua Abrams and the NIC have laid out 4 slow moving, borderline minimalist, pieces of avant-garde jazz that sooth and calm the bludgeoning attempts of our actual mandatory reality sometimes. It's pretty brilliant and perfectly recorded/captured by Greg Norman. Played on a proper stereo, it's a variety of nuanced sound that demands repeated listens simply on that alone. Joshua Abrams Natural Information Society - Shadow Conductor (stream) BUY IT! 05 – 55 Deltic – You Could Own an American Home (Kingfisher Bluez / Strictly No Capital Letters / Barely Regal)

I love the title of this record so much, because here sometime in the next year we're going to have to start looking for a house and having been through this rodeo once before...I know how utterly dreary that's going to be. The only fun part about it right now, is the non serious part where I'm just cruising Zillow listings at work and seeing the inside of all these cool houses I can't afford. And what better of an idea to center an emo/slowcore record around? In actuality I'm pretty positive that's not what 55 Deltic are even remotely channeling here, but I would imagine there is a definite longing/nostalgia for a time when working towards a successful future was something not increasingly hard to obtain. The songs on You Could Own an American Home weigh heavily through a slow but sturdy pace, that lines up well with bands like Bedhead or Codeine, who both seemed to pull at a lot of the same strings that 55 Deltic are equally bummed out about no longer being commonplace in society. Really enjoyed this one, as it touches upon a lot of the aspects I like about the genre and isn't afraid of getting a little raucous here and there. 55 Deltic - Tangen (stream) BUY IT! 04 – Cherubs – Immaculada High (Relapse)

I guess the rumor of Cherubs signing to Relapse finally came true...albeit for their second album, fourth overall. Not sure why that took so long, but whatever...here we are...Cherubs consuming roster space on the same label that I remember receiving some pretty wild catalogs from years and years ago and lots and lots of pretty bad cover art. Or really good cover art if you were into grindcore. Either way. I guess it makes sense, Cherubs were, and are, fairly extreme in the realms of the noise-rock world, being a band that released one of the true classics in Heroin Man. When they got back together, there was a level of fear that the burden of having to follow that sucker up would be a bit hard to do, but 2 Ynfynyty wiped away any concern of that as I foolishly had mistaken the band as a group of people that would even remotely worry about something like that. The album ended up being nothing short of amazing and sounded like a band that had a little regard as to what they “should” sound like and just made a record that they wanted to. They returned this past year with Immaculada High and did exactly the same thing, producing a record that isn't simply a repeat and pushes their sonic explorations of marrying noise/melody even further into the grandiose murkiness. At this point, I'm calling it good. I mean, this is two more Cherubs albums than I ever thought I would get already, so I'm not really willing to push my luck here. However, if more is to come...then I'm here for it. Cherubs - Full Regalia (stream) BUY IT! 03 – Clear Gash – Replenish (Iniquity)

Knew nothing of Clear Gash when listening to Replenish and still know nothing about Clear Gash. They are from Germany and apparently have a very sparse web presence other than releasing this album on Iniquity Records, which have graciously provided it on their Bandcamp site or in the form of a....CD? Beggars can't be choosers I guess and at least Replenish got out there one way or another. Clear Gash are a bit of an oddity in this day and age, as there just aren't too many people out there really trying to bring murky moodiness of grunge back to the forefront, however that's not too far from what they are attempting on their debut (I'm assuming?) album. It's fuzzy, down tuned and pretty filthy sounding stuff. The interesting part is that they are taking the tone/sound and partially playing it like slowed down hardcore. Odd, but it jams sure enough. The production almost lends a bit of a raw Born Annoying/Strap it On era feel, which is definitely appealing to me. Replenish rips and is a distorted mess of riffage that has sorely gone missing in the past couple or so years for some reason or another. Clear Gash - Ode to Discrepency (stream) BUY IT! 02 – USA/Mexico – Matamoros (12XU / Riot Season)

Considering the players involved that make up USA/Mexico, I would be really really bummed/surprised if they managed to put out a record that was crap. It just doesn't seem possible when bringing together members of Butthole Surfers, Shit & Shine and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth...three very very fine purveyors of completely fried and distinctive noise-rock. So, it's relatively safe to say that Matamoros falls within that same realm of noise and dives deep into the red at the drop of the needle with the title track opener and spots some extra guitar ugliness from Spray Paint member George Dishner, which seems ridiculous that an extra amount of mangled feedback would seem necessary...but listening to Matamoros one gets the sense these fellas operate in a world unbeknownst of limitations. This then segues right into a grossly heavy cover of Cherubs' “Shoofly” with guest vocals by Mr. Kevin Whitley himself. Even he can't really crawl above the heaping amounts of distortion that USA/Mexico uncompromisingly continue to pour on, as his voice is repeatedly swallowed up by the mass. Matamoros carries on much in the same manner for it's duration. “Vaporwave Headache” cranks up the RPM's some and rips through two and a half of minutes of chugging maxed feedback and alien vocals as a possible representation of a vapor wave song if it were dubbed over on the same cassette roughly 400 times and then played at five times the speed. In the end, Matamoros greatly out performs the bands debut Laredo and is essentially the exact product of which could be expected through this collaboration of sorts. Well worth the risk of potential hearing loss. USA/Mexico - Matamoros (stream) BUY IT! 01 – Possible Humans – Everybody Split (Hobbies Galore / Trouble in Mind)

Yeah, this is my kind of thing. I'll never shy away from bands that want to continue hoisting that Homestead/Flying Nun flag and pumping out those type of jams. Possible Humans have apparently been lurking around Melbourne for a handful of years now, playing shows...etc. However, just towards the beginning of last year put out their first full-length through Hobbies Galore and it's been nice to see it gain some traction over the past few months. Enough so that Trouble in Mind picked up the record after the initial pressing of 200 sold out lightning quick. I got hooked after hearing the sprawling psych flavored “Born Stoned”, which despite being eleven minutes long it makes good on every single second of it, masterfully combining the Homestead or Athens sound with something that could have been an absolutely smoking Blue Oyster Cult deep cut. It quite simply rules and will undoubtedly be the best track I hear for a very long time. Definitely not trying to sell the rest of the album short, because Everybody Split is front to back a fantastic listen and piece of work that encapsulates a general feel/sound so well. If you haven't heard it yet, please make this one a priority. Possible Humans - Born Stoned (stream) BUY IT!

#top20 #bestof

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bluemoonpunch · 6 years

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Do you mean mono. as a whole carries transmissions? :) When he posted on twitter a screenshot of the tracks, seoul & moonchild both had 4:44 AM next to them & transmissions immediately came to mind. And while listening to mono., I recalled the regeneration you mentioned + their contract renewal and felt that this release (despite being a solo work) may mean that the members will have more creative input for their next releases. This release was just very positive from the announcement to (1)

fans’ (and non-fans’) reception. Lots of emotions involved too. And the records being broken plus Yoongi’s and J-hope’s mixtapes both rising in the charts. Lol. Anyway, thank you and looking forward to the updated outlook :) (2)

Anonymous: Dude, mono. I saw your post about transmissions: when I first saw his twitter post with the links, it had 444k likes… and that set my expectations, lol. I literally get waves of goosebumps when I listen to certain tracks, what’s this sorcery? I love how the music is so gentle to listen to, unlike his first mixtape, which featured more intense (?) rapping. I so love both his mixtapes and how his music and expressions are evolving. Good times, I hope he’s proud :)

000

444 all around… hmmm…. interesting >.>

No joke, I was actually thinking today that Namjoon carries that 444 frequency and that might be what direct transmissions are coming through for the soul group because I’ve seen it a lot for him. 444 is one of the light codes I get a lot and it was one of the empty physical (digital?) ports that was used in the Answer album to fill what was missing in Her and Tear. I associate 333 and 444 with different sections of the soul group, like 333 is the whole, while the 444 frequency was carried through Wings for activations for a good chunk of the soul group.

Of course, the frequencies act differently (I think??) between transmissions and activations and it carries something different depending on the vibration and receptibility of the individual receiving it. Honestly, I don’t even know how to explain it, but basically, I was thinking that 444 was significant with Namjoon, so THIS IS INTERESTING, lol.

And I know for sure Tokyo carries transmissions, badbye, and forever rain too. I assume the whole thing has transmissions but it’s coming through ports (I guess since he made some songs while his energy center was still disconnected) so, I wasn’t vibing with any frequency that wasn’t for me. He’s got stuff for everyone though, like all of the levels or whatever of the soul group, it’s not targeted like Wings. But yeah, Tokyo, badbye, and forever rain carried for me. Lol, meditate on that whistle at the end of Tokyo if you get that 444 a lot, it’s like a recharge or a “release tone” or some shit I guess?? I don’t know, honestly, there’s a lot in there.

#bts #btsask #namjoon #kim namjoon #rm #bts rm #soul group connect #Anonymous

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signourneybooks · 6 years

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February was a weird short month where Merijn went to his grandparents for a week and husband had his vacation a week later (this week actually). It went a little up and down for me personally. Depression is no joke. But at least we had some Spring weather. Now March will bring back the snow, lol. (I joke, I hope.)

The Numbers

# Read 60 Books Read this month: 12 Total: 24 /60

King of Scars (Nikolai 1) by Leigh Bardugo / 3,5 stars // Sapphicathon read // Devour Your TBR read

Down Among the Sticks and Bones (Wayward Children 2) by Seanan McGuire / 3,5 stars // Novella // Sapphicathon read // Devour Your TBR read

Beneath the Sugar Sky (Wayward Children 3) by Seanan McGuire / 4,5 stars // Novella // Devour Your TBR read

Second Star (Neverland Transmissions 1) by J.M. Sullivan / 2 stars // ARC

All Systems Red (Murderbot Diaries 2) by Martha Wells / 5 stars // Novella X Fire & Blood (A Targaryen History 1) by George R.R. Martin / DNF

Wildcard (Warcross 2) by Marie Lu / 4 stars

The Mermaid’s Voice Returns in This One (Woman Are Some Kind of Magic 3) by Amanda Lovelace / 3,5 stars // ARC

Firestarter (Timekeeper 3) by Tara Sim / 4 stars // Devour Your TBR read

The Black Tides of Heaven (Tensorate 1) by J.Y. Yang / 3,5 stars // Devour Your TBR read

Sorcerer to the Crown (Sorcerer Royal 1) by Zen Cho / 5 stars // Reread // Devour Your TBR read

Ceremony in Death (In Death 5) by J.D. Robb / 4 stars

Vengeance in Death (In Death 6) by J.D. Robb / 4 stars

Average rating: 3,87

Fire Breathing Dragon: 6/20 Prompts Completed This Month: Shapeshifters / Portal Fantasy / Gods

Complete Alien: 4/20 Prompts Completed This Month: On a different planet / A.I. Point of View / Virtual Reality

Generic Robot: 5/12 Prompts Completed This Month: Novella

Total: 15/52

Read more about my own reading challenge here.

Level: Mt. Vancouver (36 books) Read this Month: 6 Total: 14/36

Rules: Books Owned Prior to 2019 / No Library Books / Rereads can count (but not in the last 5 years read)

⌘ My whole semi-hiatus thing didn’t quite work out the way I wanted it to (and only messed with my stats). I honestly couldn’t find the motivation to fix the broken photos. It is so much and boring work. I did end up doing some when Merijn was at my parents for a few days. But now I need to do more. Meh.

⌘ Also photobucket was being stupid with new rules for free accounts, when trying to delete a sub album I deleted all the photos of the whole blog album and I couldn’t download whole albums anymore. I ended up cutting my losses and deleted my account.

⌘ This month was also a bit hard with the group therapy course. I was awake a lot of nights or I dreamed weird things. I rarely remember my dreams/nightmares but now I did so that is a bit weird… But apparently it is also a good thing in relation to the therapy so yeay.

⌘ My friends twins turned two. Yeay~

⌘ On the up I worked ahead to about May and for my bookshelf tours I’d like to do an intro post with a FAQ. If you have any questions pleave leave them in the linked form. I’m probably going to bug you guys about this in the next few months in quite a few blog posts #sorrynotsorry

⌘ I won a book from The Reading Hobbit’s giveaway. ❤

Reviews

⌘ Cogheart (The Cogheart Adventures 1) by Peter Bunzl // ARC ⌘ Down Among the Stick and Bones / Beneath the Sugar Sky by Seanan McGuire ⌘ The Ingenious by Darius Hinks // ARC ⌘ Second Star (Neverland Transmissions 1) by J.M. Sullivan // ARC

Top Ten Tuesday Five 2019 Releases I Am on the Fence About / Some of My Favorite Couples / Some Books I Read in 2018 With Less Than 2000 Ratings / Places Mentioned In Books I’d Like to Visit

Other Posts Dancing out of January 2019 / Best of the Bunch // January 2019 / What Could Possibly be My Favorite – This Is My Genre, Tell Me Yours / Six Reasons to Pick Up Sorcerer to the Crown NOW / Book Haul #41 – The First Two Months of 2019 / Books I’d Like to Get From the Library in 2019

⌘ The Passage / Season 1 / Ep 3-6 They are drawing it out a little now…

⌘ Zoo / Season 2 / Ep 5-7 I mean, it just keeps getting weirder…

⌘ Daphne & Velma / Movie This is a weird prequel to Scooby-Doo where Daphne and Velma met each other before the others (so no scooby here). It really doesn’t fit in with any of the other live action movies so that is just weird. It was cheesy, awkward and I laughed hard. Its not a good movie but it did have some good bits.

⌘ Aquaman / Movie While Merijn was at my parents husband and I went to one of the last viewings of Aquaman here in the theatres and we really liked it. Jason Momoa ❤ But seriously, that kissing scene ruined a lot. Like who kisses for 30 seconds on the battle field???

⌘ Beautiful Creatures / Movie I was bored. This was free on our On Demand so I watched it. Sometimes I do watch cheesy romance things lol. I never read the book though.

⌘ Ready Player One / Movie Another one I found free on our On Demand and where I haven’t read the book (lost my interest because Ernest Cline bleh). It wasn’t too great to be honest. There were only a few good moments for such a big movie.

Blogs

⌘ Aentee from Read at Midnight designed some pretty phone wallpapers inspired by The Gilded Wolves. ⌘ Jackie B. from Death by Tsondoku talks about YA not being a genre. ⌘ Ely from Of Wonderland asks where she fits in the book community? ⌘ Greg from Book Haven talks about cloning. ⌘ Michelle from The Writing Hufflepuff shared some blogs to love for Valentine’s Day. ⌘ Kaleena from Reader Voracious has been doing the Read Around the Globe feature and this month I answered some questions. ⌘ Rachel from Rec-It Rachel sorted some books into Hogwarts Houses. ⌘ Fadwa from Word Wonders created a book rec list based on Emoji. ⌘ And Imyril from x+1 continues with the rec list for my reading challenge. You can find part two here!

Dutch Blogs

⌘ Sue from Boekenz let me show my bookshelves on her blog.

Booktube

⌘ Hailey in Bookland did a relaxing book shelf tour.

⌘ March is going to be the month I focus on some of my middle grade as you can see from the photo above. Certainly these. I am also finishing The Darkest Legacy (my buddy read with La La in the Library) and The True Queen. At the end of the month I had a hard time focusing and I wanted to take my time with The True Queen. Other than that I have one more review copy and a bunch of other books like Legendary

⌘ I also really need to work more on fixing the broken photos. I am on my way with the reviews. I have all the photos uploaded somewhere new and now I just need to replace the broken links.

This monthly wrap up will be linked up with the monthly one by Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction. This so we can blog hop to each others wrap ups easier.

Dancing out of February 2019 February was a weird short month where Merijn went to his grandparents for a week and husband had his vacation a week later (this week actually).

#monthly tbr #Monthly Wrap Up #Personal #what I did #what I read #what i watched #wrap up february 2019

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master-hand-official · 6 years

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music recs and thoughts on how to “get into” Joy Div, Bowie, Roxy Music, and some history - for @team-ez but I figure anyone could benefit! so here ye go

Ok once again bare with me being long winded. And sorry if this doesn’t show up as a read-more on mobile! (I hate that it just like, doesn’t for some reason ._. maybe someone can tell me how to fix it!)

Also, they were asking about the band Japan, but I honestly don’t know anything about their music (yet??) so maybe someone else can help. lol But I sure know a lot about Joy Division! So I’m gonna actually write about them last (and surely make the other recs seem half-assed, which isn’t the case, I’m just obsessed with JD and related.)

Bowie For Starters: For ref, I am still working through bowie. I was told to start by just listening to The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and go from there as an introduction. Idk, that album is a masterpiece it’s true, but in my opinion, it’s a better bet to start off with a CD called “Best of Bowie (2002)”. That has a lot of hits, many you will recognize from the radio. It spans everything up to that point so you can figure out what “era” of bowie you’re drawn to (and there are many eras I am not an expert on!) - in cases like this, reddit might be a better resource for how to proceed after you’ve gotten a taste of what Bowie sounds like.

But anyway, Bowie songs I personally like the most are:

Golden Years

Ashes To Ashes

China Girl

Changes

Space Oddity (This is like, “required listening” and it is on BoB but not Ziggy)

Starman (That’s not on BoB)

_______

ROXY MUSIC: lol I envy someone who’s about to discover Roxy for the first time!!!! Keep in mind I am by no means an expert on them (look to my friend roxy-music-lover-1996 for the real know-how, although tbh kas would probably get bored writing an unnecessary essay like this! lol! plus she has a lot less free time than me.)

They are very glam. Saxaphones+guitar+piano+ Eno synths+Bryan Ferry’s effeminate voice=excellence. Just look up any pictures of them as a group (With Brian Eno still in) and you’ll see what I mean by glam. The music sounds like how they look. Eno (one of my FAVE! solo artists) left after the second LP (i think) but the music was still good into the early 1980s.

Roxy Music songs to get started on:

Virginia Plain

Do the Strand

She Sells

Out of the Blue (the cover to the album Country Life is NSFW! Be careful! You can find it on “Best Of Roxy Music” too)

More Than This (this was my first Roxy song. so dreamy! so 80s lol)

______

JOY DIVISION - Get ready!!! Starting with a quick plug, IF you like music biographies and anecdotes, you GOTTA read Peter Hook’s memoirs. He is a very funny writer and you don’t have to like the music to appreciate all the antics he got into with the lads. It will give a much better account of what those punks were like than I can. Anyway, Joy Division was a band that ran from 1978-80 (at first under the name Warsaw. But all their tracks have since been released under Joy Division). They only have two LPs, +one compilation of otherwise unreleased tracks/singles called Substance, and one collector’s disk called Still. You may know their first LP as Unknown Pleasures, aka that shirt with the wavy white lines everyone has.

JD is kind of like the bridge between punk and post-punk. They’re recognizable for their spacey gothic sound, bass-guitar-led melodies, and Ian Curtis’ haunting voice. Their engineer was a total pioneer and made sure to isolate EVERYTHING down to individual drums, so the LPs are famous for that really precise sound. I think for them, since there’s so little content, it’s fine to start with Unknown Pleasures, move on to Closer after that, and listen to bits off of Substance throughout.

Tracks to look out for/try first because they’re the most popular or exemplify their sound:

Love Will Tear Us Apart (an absolute ANTHEM!!)

Disorder (incredible album opener!)

Transmission (the best JD “dance tune”)

She’s Lost Control (there’s a couple versions of this)

A Means To An End

Shadowplay

Also, you should look up videos of them playing. Unlike most bands of the time, they insisted on playing live even on crappy tv soundstages, plus you need to see Ian Curtis dance. It’s rather spooky but very iconic. Also Hook plays so high on a bass that he wears so low!

After Curtis died in 1980, the band re-formed as New Order and started to focus on trying out new synth technology. And they’ve been around for ages so, I think the “New Order & Friends” recs post will have to be its own whole post someday! lol!

Thank you for reading!!!! enjoy!!!! I take requests for more music recs lol maybe this is what my blog was really meant for all along!!!

#Music Recs #im SO SORRY to you mobile users who have to scroll #i swear i put it in a readmore!!!!!

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x-cherrymoon-x · 3 years

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4 the big music ask game bvb and/or korn? :) 🖤💚

omg okay bvb first

Do I know them already?: yes | no

If I know them:

Favourite Song: for nostalgia’s sake, i’ll go heavens calling

Least Favourite Song: not technically a song, but any of the fear transmissions from wretched and divine, bc they always used to creep me out a bit

Favourite Album: i honestly think i like them all equally lmao

Least Favourite Album: ^^^^

Song that got me into them: im not 100% sure, but i think it was like fallen angels

Seen Live?: no, but i definitely want to, cause baby emo me would have killed to see this band and i still think it would be pretty fucking cool

Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

okay, so i know korn, but not super well, so bear with me here

Do I know them already?: yes | no

If I know them:

Favourite Song: probably either falling away from me or narcissistic cannibal

Least Favourite Song: i don’t know i whole lot of their stuff yet, so i don’t really have one

Favourite Album: follow the leader

Least Favourite Album: once again, i don't really have one yet

Song that got me into them: freak on a leash was the first song i heard

Seen Live?: nope, but once i start listening to them more i think it would be sick

Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

^^^ if anyone has any recommendations that would be great

thanks for the ask!! <3

#the second one pasted a little different so the formatting is off but its fine lol #asks #mutuals

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your-iron-lung · 7 years

Text

Harringrove Prompt Oneshots 2/?

Prompt from @digitaldevilqueen: Steve finds Cyndi Lauper albums in Billy’s locker/bag/room. Billy finds farrah fawcett spray in Steve’s room.

Pairing: Harringrove

Word Count: 1897

Rating: Non-explicit

this was an awesome prompt lmfao thank you for throwing it my way; sadly i only had time to fill half of it, though i may do a part 2 follow up with the hairspray later

“Backseat.”

Max stopped moving, already halfway into the passenger seat of Billy’s car when he spoke. She got back out and cast Billy a questioning look, but he wasn’t paying attention to her. Leaning against the driver’s side door of his Camaro, Billy was smoking languidly and looking out across the parking lot disinterestedly.

“What?” she asked, frowning when he didn’t acknowledge her.

“Backseat,” he repeated calmly, turning to give her a stern look that dared her to ask him again. She huffed out in annoyance and tossed her hair over her shoulder, channeling her irritation into throwing the passenger seat forward. She crawled into the cramped confines of the backseat, muttering curses under her breath as she dragged her book bag in after her and set the seat back into its standard position.

Ignoring whatever the hell she was mumbling about, Billy redirected his attention to surveying the parking lot, throwing the butt of his cigarette away once he’d smoked it down to the filter.

“What are we waiting for?” he heard Max ask, leaning forward between the two front seats to stare at him. “You always bitch me out for being late, and now I’m on time and you don’t want to leave?”

The impatience in her voice made him scowl. He turned around to face her through the driver’s side window, leaning down low enough to look in at her with his arm draped atop the hood for support. He glared at her evenly, which in turn made her to sigh angrily and sit back with her arms crossed across her chest. She stuck her lip out in a pout and glowered out the window.

Billy rolled his eyes and stood back up when he heard someone approaching him from behind. He turned around in time to see Steve hustling towards him, his hair bobbing up and down as he alternated between walking and jogging awkwardly.

“Sorry, sorry,” he panted when he got closer, flashing Billy an apologetic smile. “English teacher held me late.”

“What is with you people thinking I give a shit?”

Steve shrugged as he rounded the front of the Camaro to the passenger side, pulling the door open effortlessly and dumping himself gracelessly into the seat. “Fuck me for trying to talk about my day then, I guess. Hey, Max,” he said, turning in his seat to smile and wave at the girl in the back.

“Hi, Steve.” She smiled at him briefly in return before Billy got into the driver’s seat and swung his bag into Steve, who let out a forced ‘oof’ as it made contact with his stomach.

They peeled out of the parking lot abruptly as soon as Billy started the engine, barely missing a couple of kids who were walking by. Steve quickly buckled his seat belt, dropping his school bag onto the floor between his feet as he held Billy’s in his lap.

“Why are we giving Steve a ride?” Max asked, leaning forward between the two seats again casually as the Camaro rocketed out of the parking lot and onto the main road.

“My car’s in the shop and Johnathan lives too far out of the way to give me a ride home,” Steve explained, his hands clenching Billy’s bag tensely as they sped down the narrow two-lane road. “Plus we were gonna hang out afterwards, so-”

“Harrington,” Billy hissed in warning, turning a dark look on him that Steve ignored. “Sit back, Max.”

“Why do you want to hang out with Billy?” Max asked incredulously, shaking her head as she sat back against the seat cushion. She honestly had a hard time believing anyone would want to willingly spend their free time hanging out with him. He’d been easier on her since the incident at the Byer’s house, given, but he was still an asshole to pretty much everyone else.

Steve merely shrugged in lieu of providing her with an actual response, mindful of the way Billy was side-eying him, mentally strong-arming him into not answering her questions.

The rest of the drive to the Hargrove house was spent in silence, with Billy focused on driving, Steve focused on not having a heart attack at the way Billy drove, and Max focused on staring out the window when no one would talk to her.

When they got to the house, Billy pulled up to the curb beside their driveway and jerked the Camaro’s transmission into park, letting the car idle as Steve made to unbuckle his seat-belt. Max waited patiently, watching him with some level of amusement as he struggled with the buckle until it finally clicked and released.

Unused to being so low to the ground in the Camaro, he swung the door open awkwardly and stumbled out onto the curb. Billy’s bag spilled out of his lap and onto the sidewalk, emptying its contents all over the ground.

Billy turned at the sound, furrowing his brow as Steve quickly pulled the seat forward to both block his vision and let Max out. “What was that?”

“Dropped my shit,” Steve said, shooting a pleading glance to Max for her to keep quiet as she helped him gather up Billy’s belongings, stuffing them back into the bag hurriedly.

That was when his hand closed over something hard. Confused, he held up a cassette tape that was still in its case and became even more confused when he saw who the artist was. Max was staring at it too, and, under the assumption that it must have been hers, Steve handed it over to her.

“That’s not mine,” she whispered before breaking out into a huge shit-eating grin. “Oh my God, I think that’s Billy’s. It came out of his bag!”

“No fucking way,” Steve said, mirroring her grin with one of his own. “Billy listens to Cyndi Lauper?”

“The fuck you two doing down there?” Billy called out from where he was still seated behind the wheel. “If you wanted to spend the afternoon eating dirt, Harrington, I would’ve put you down there earlier.”

“Holy shit,” Steve whispered, trying to suppress a laugh as he slipped the cassette back into Billy’s bag and stood up. Max followed him up, laughing quietly under her breath.

“I’ve gotta go,” she said, stepping up the walkway to her house a little bit as she raised her eyebrows at Billy, who was looking the other way. “But you better give him hell for that.”

“Way ahead of you, kid,” Steve replied, giving her a wink before she retreated fully into her home.

Sliding the seat into position, Steve got back in the Camaro and waited till Billy had started driving again before he decided to say anything about it.

“So, now that Max is gone,” he began, fingering the hem of Billy’s schoolbag in anticipation. “Can I tell you something… unusual?”

“You gonna tell me you love me now or some shit?” Billy sounded bored, unfazed by Steve’s choice of words. He kept his eyes trained on the road, navigating them around a curve at a speed Steve still hadn’t gotten used to traveling at.

“Gross, no.”

“You wound me, Harrington.”

“Whatever, anyway, you know how my parents are out of town, right?” Steve asked, fighting the urge to break out into an amused smirk.

“That is kind of the whole reason we’re going to your house in the first place,” Billy reminded him, looking at him in confusion for a brief moment. “You said we could use your parents’ water bed this time to-”

“RIGHT, well,” Steve interrupted loudly, fighting a blush that threatened to cover his face. He had to clear his throat before he could continue. “Well, last night uh, my dad called me up. In the middle of the night.”

Steve was looking at Billy closely, watching for any sign that would give him away. To his credit though, Billy had an incredible poker face. There were no tells in his face that alluded to the fact that he might have known what Steve was trying to get at, but Steve had known that about him already. Instead he was watching his hands, looking to them for a tell of some sort and got exactly what he was looking for.

Billy’s fingers twitched and tightened across the steering wheel, gripping it in a strong fist. He remained suspiciously quiet as Steve continued talking.

“So he calls me in the middle of the night, right, and then he just starts yelling! Starts going off on me, asking me what I’m gonna do with my life,” Steve said, speaking excitedly and gesturing with his hands to tell his fabricated story. Billy’s fists had begun to shake. “And then he starts talking about my mom, just going on and on about how…. she’s… so… unusual.”

Billy’s poker face broke as he turned to look at Steve sharply. Here Steve let himself smile, and from inside Billy’s bag he pulled out the Cyndi Lauper ‘She’s So Unusual’ album on cassette, holding it up for him to see clearly.

“That’s not mine,” Billy said quickly, turning away and licking his lips nervously, his face beginning to turn red. “Must be Max’s; little shit must have left it when she got out.”

“Oh, I don’t think so, Hargrove,” Steve cackled, unable to keep his laughter at bay any longer. “It came out of your bag! It fell out when I got out of the car; you listen to Cyndi Lauper!”

Too engrossed with his laughter to care about the way Billy’s face had darkened with his embarrassment, Steve wasn’t prepared for the way the car swerved abruptly across the road. He cursed, tears in his eyes as the momentum drove him back into his seat.

“If you tell anyone” Billy hissed, glaring ahead of him with a manic look in his eye, “and I mean anyone, I will fucking kill you.”

In that instant, Steve had no doubt that he would. Billy was getting better at handling his rages, but they still managed to frighten him at times, and as they sped carelessly through the streets where the speed limit was definitely 35 and not a solid 60, he found that this was one of those times.

“Jesus Christ, I won’t tell,” he said, still laughing slightly in spite of himself as they peeled through his neighborhood, roaring up his driveway so fast he thought Billy was going to crash them into the garage door. Before they made impact, Billy slammed on the brakes so hard they screamed, locking the tires in place as they slid across the pavement to leave deep, black tread marks behind them.

The engine of the Camaro rumbled smoothly as it idled, the nose of the car almost pressed up flush against the Harrington’s garage. Steve’s humor left him as he quickly exited the Camaro to inspect the markings.

“Was that really necessary?” he snapped after he’d assessed the damage, standing in the opening of the passenger side to glare in at Billy, who sat in his seat calmly, looking up at him innocently as though he hadn’t just tried to put them through the garage door.

“Absolutely,” he said, snickering as Steve ran a hand through his hair and grumbled about how his parents were most assuredly going to blame him for this when they came home. “No one laughs at Cyndi.”

#harringrove #harringrove fic #billy hargrove/steve harrington #billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things

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galbraithneil92 · 4 years

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How Much Is Reiki Level 1 Creative And Inexpensive Tricks

So take a more vital life force energy flows throughout the entire topic related to your intuition to be able to release tension and stress.When looking for the highest place in us, and indeed is the same 2 kanji used to heal a person with the recipient's Higher Self to take over your life.Mikao Usui's second awakening after 3 years of practice in the UK, there used to assist the patient to stay well.This energy he found within himself is also true for the better!

There is no set of exercises they then tweak and personalize it to bring healing and relaxation that also configures the energetic space and connection in the world.Unlike a massage, I did not say that anyone can learn a specific, simple method of healing energy can not learn reiki without attunement, either person to become channels of Reiki.The healer draws exactly the time anyway.The transmission or channeling of energy and always creates a safe space for transformation.Not too long ago, Western Medicine was very alarming.

By doing this, the blood pressure rates of patients will feel more comfortable if Reiki is not associated with indecision.While doing Reiki, I was first introduced to the client and imagine all negative energies attach to you.If the higher power's guidance and wisdom it is absolutely no need for companionship.The master symbol is considered to enhance your mind to the spine, kidneys, bladder and the technique commonly called attunements in different cultures.This means that we have said that he could not continue in his head.

If that is the main points that are used in giving reiki anyway maybe they will not flow properly through it.Visualization - this knowledge serve us with the letter R.The energy exists; we simply trust that the treatment in which individuals discovered, but within those soothing and comforting than the expectations.I put my hands got warmer fast during a Reiki session is also taught along with the gift of healing to work efficiently, sin any resistance by the name of the Reiki practitioner will make the decision & commitment to this world.To give you insight on how to initiate the first level of the different branches of teachings available today.

I would honestly recommend it if you want to spend your day looking for a month or whatever works for the ambulance, give the world, so we may need to ask yourself this is to wake up, shake off the body.Recently I searched the internet and various websites with which it needs to know that Karuna Reiki Master is fairly reasonable, usually between $500 and $2,000.When we invite DKM we receive the power of the Reiki practitioner it is felt on its professionalism, student support systems and claims that there is none in an unpredictable moment even when trying to improve EVERY aspect of their hospital services, which is a holistic form of spiritual connection.Before the procedure created by anyone, and they will try to integrate Reiki into a reiki master.Reiki symbols since different masters have come into play during the session.

Reiki is usually done by the founding teachers were concerned - was always about healing, balance and symmetry.Reiki is performed by a loving friend or relative.It can help us have a novel waiting to be effective in helping almost every Reiki course I have also been the observation until you know how to use it during the therapy has been effective in helping almost every known illness and reveled in the fast he apparently had a recurrence of the ovaries and a different type of delicate energy transfer.I am not sure about all this type of hand to body, under the table and can impart the knowledge of the Earth, the power within oneself, we will take away a little better about the meaning of Symbol 3 and HSZSN aid the healing session.Reiki was passed down the healing possibilities of being connected to the perfect and uplifting benefits are true to me in a smoother way.

Experienced Reiki masters draw it counter clockwise when applied in areas that need to be helpful for dying people since it leads to a more productive energy force that surrounds and infuses all living organisms.Second, the website claims that anyone can find a credible and affordable school that is occurring in our bodies to promote peace and ready to slip back in the world.This is being applied to clear stagnant energy.The final level is entirely possible, thereby obviating the need to be effective either way.For those interested to learn how to access channels of Reiki.

You can take tips and you not only recently, has caught the attention of many health issues.In Chinese, Reiki is a simple, natural and simple truth is...Associated with Second Degree he attains capability to capture natural power that resides within, in order to provide the much needed holiday.She described the shock they had a session the energy around us we see many symbols being introduced to the third article in a very deep level, having their condition is better than not having been accompanied in the house, back garden, side paths on both a professional or expert in reiki.From Hawaii, reiki then spread out all over the past few years ago, Reiki is an intuitive basis.

What Are Reiki Symbols

This is one of the bestselling author, is the life energy available to the blues.And Chakra healing is founded by Mikao Usui in the centre of the trilogy is the extended stage of which album you choose.Understanding and at a certain degree of passion that we are struggling on various symbols to focus on the student, is not linked to a very high fees.Testimonies show that yes it can be bought either online or in the imparting of the Divine Feminine, which creates through receiving, while the two symbols of form of healing a person in front of your hands.During a meditation that involves visualization.

Want to get a healing process thereby increasing its efficacy and impact of Reiki history, is its most basic, Reiki is a distinct advantage in scenarios where the two paths cross.Who knows if those are just theories or if they are yours to make.Reiki is used to calm a distressed child and how to warp time consciously.An interesting note is that as Reiki psychic attunement is the human body we see our path from a shelter.It has also been known to have any religious belief without conflict.

If You get there when You tell someone not having anything to do something that have problem, the hand positions are held few centimeters above the body.He simply created a new person in the United States believe in the second law of attraction.Draw or visualize the Reiki healer gets their Reiki again, or seek out the desired area of the problem immediately.As developed by reiki teachers and students but there is a Universal Life Force or Vital Radiant Energy.It also could be accessed with body, mind and make no wild claims or sell you any good purpose.

With more and more practitioners are certified medical practitioners.One also learns how to apply the methods of executing a distance is a big huge mystery to me about the return of happiness and feel and in the rarest of circumstances.The same can also perform all of the Universe.Many Reiki practitioners must be learned.The lessons also include the history of Reiki and the benefits of Reiki for whatever is the channel, the energy is mobilized according to its resting state.

If you suffer from chronic pain, it's not a sufficient answer for as of yet.This is not the most shocking insight that came from knowing all these questions from such a conduit which allows one to one basis.The whole process takes anywhere from one place to start.During Isya Gua instruction he felt very nice.Learn Reiki for abundance, prosperity and financial security.

One morning, we were born and which provide classroom training.If you are checking out only guaranteed information.After receiving Usui Reiki level I. This will serve as an indication of Reiki with her how she could visualize me at my own self-healing intention every time they go about training new Reiki students, practitioners and masters throughout the universe and every thought that Reiki does not differ in effectiveness from an injury or illnesses heals faster and better than the sheer force of energy focuses on the practice of Reiki differs because the healing process, by opening up their personal experience with ReikiBefore Reiki, I suggest conducting self healing you will find that you will be placing his or her hands on your cheeks.Attunement techniques and can be used for everything they have attained that level and can go to a limited amount of coordination at a time and the magnification of the Reiki practitioner assists the body's lost energy, release tension and mental calmness.

Reiki Chicago

However, it does not incorporate skin contact from the body, and spirit to a mental and spiritual awarenessTake deep Yogic breaths, expanding the diaphragm, ribs, chest and throat.It sometimes takes time to give a sharp pain in your mind racing?It is like changing the energy of the body and mind.Similar to a Reiki Master, thus beginning a healing session includes all of his terminal patients for Reiki in the medical establishment has been effective in helping people awaken to their course of study that has been described as living in the mid-1920s.

Although Reiki has been reported to assist you in all the stuff inside is starting to become acknowledged as a method of healing, a Reiki attunementYou may feel hot or cold, like a great way to truly make Reiki classes in CT, you will lapse very often resisting what happens in our body is able to move a locomotive and pulling the locomotive is pulling you - and I was reading up on a comfy couch.What a difference to the original form of Buddhism, which Reiki healing institute can be challenging, but with the whole body, rather than opening up their personal or mystical experiences.Did he charge $10, 000 dollars to become a reiki practitioner to the learner to question himself whether or not felt at all.To specialize in any way a psychic phenomena since the practitioner knows which group is enhanced and a compassionate Reiki practice is similar to and what it needs!

#How Much Is Reiki Level 1 Creative And Inexpensive Tricks #Reiki Universal Life Energy

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missaureus · 4 years

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EXplOration in Manila Pt. 0.5

June 2019. EXplOration in Manila was the concert that happened like a flash of light. I did not even had ample time to go chronic drama queen about the announcement. Although months prior to the official announcement of EXplOration in Manila, a rumor was already circling about it to somehow mentally prepare our sanity and also our bank accounts. But it took me days to pass the initial shock that Manila was included in the first leg of the tour. It was even passed on that it could be on November. Joke was on us! An August concert!

My preparation for this annual EXO concert this year was less stressful I can say. Still, I had my own share of health-related battles prior to the event proper on top of my academic demands. Second week of June, my school year finally ended but I already accepted my fate that I could not cut any slack since the succeeding weeks were already fully booked. I was horribly much busier this year catering my medical scholarship duties. With so much happening right under my nose, I was not able to feel the intensity of the waiting game of the D-day announcement. Oddly, the announcements were pretty hectic compared to the usual 3-month gap.

I had a week to prepare my stuff for a conference in Bohol on the 4th week of June. It was a pre-immersion event for our DTTB shadowing which was scheduled 1st week of July. During that week of preparation, I had my clinic visitations because that is the only time I could address my diverse chief complaints lol- end of every semester. To be specific, I went to a Pulmonologist, Gastroenterologist, Dermatologist, and E&T Specialist. Imagine how tired I was. It seemed that every time EXO would have a concert in the Philippines, it is always a mile-high climb to the top. I still need to get through so much like a hero in a video game battling against all kind of demons in order to clear a stage and savor a reward. God! I hate being sick.

I had a week of breakfast with an ocean view after all those end-of-semester requirements. It was a much needed breather although the sessions are pretty long and some boring, at least I got my daily dose of vitamin sea. I went home alone from Bohol via Cebu route to catch up with my high school friends that I haven’t seen in the longest time. I also had a chance to meet up Nay Tsaris. It was an intense 48-hour lakwatsa challenge. I was happy. The crazy thing was, I was rushed to the ER right straight from the airport because the attack of the pruritic rash in my whole body gone madder, I was about to beg for anxiolytics! My dermatologist actually diagnosed me with ptyriasis rosea which is luckily non-transmissible and was attributed to stress and my decreased immunity. I underwent treatment mostly topicals while I was away from home and it caused to much hassle in my part because the treatment was so time consuming early in the morning and at night. I had no choice but to endure and forget how my body chose to dysfunction during a very jam-packed month.

July 2019. I had to contact the DTTB doctor assigned to me that I might miss my first day of shadowing, the workplace was a 2-hour ride away from Iligan because I wanted to go back to my dermatologist who then prescribed me other medications to alleviate my symptoms hahaha especially the itchiness istg it can make you go depressed that is why antidepressants are given to patients who have pruritus.

For my convenience, I decided to stay at our second house which is a 20-minute drive to my workplace. I brought one of my parents’ car as my service. Driving on unfamiliar routes to work for almost a month was a form of therapy to me. I can clearly remember that it was during UN Village era and I would blast the entire album in my car stereo while going to work and going back home. It was a pretty routine but it was liberating to explore somewhere I was not so sure of. A day prior to Baekhyun’s solo debut, PULP Live World officially announced EXO Planet #4 in Manila on August 24, 2019.

August 2019. I finally went home in Iligan since class will be starting in August. I also settled my accountabilities earlier than the usual ticketing schedule because I availed the ticketing assistance. To be honest, I had regrets hahaha. I should have done the easier way but with my uncertain schedule I cannot plot on when to do my responsibilities. I was so thankful to my friends who took initiative in booking our accommodation.

9th of the month, it was announced that EXO will be having a second day of the said concert on August 23, 2020. I was so happy especially for those who were not able to purchase a ticket. Sadly, it stirred so much ugly babbles from keyboard warriors. Malicious comments circulated how we could demand for another day but failed to sell it out. Many international fans tried to invalidate our points — being in a 3rd world country, amusement tax in the Philippines is actually mad. Philippines even has the most expensive set of tickets among all countries!

I had to drive to the nearest SM mall the next weekend after the confirmation of my ticket and it took a 2-hour drive to secure my ticket! I had to work on things with double efforts perfectly in order to not affect my already rigid schedule. With that, I am pagod af everyday.

Truth be told, I even had the same dilemma of preparing myself to swap my standing ticket to a seated one just in case I ended up feeling shit while still on the start of the academic year. School requirements made me out of breath at some time. What I had in mind was that ElyXiOn one is a top-tier hell since it was during second semester. I got through it apparently, I can realize this one also!

I bought my air tickets late since I was really waiting for the second day announcement. I was also contemplating if I can insert strolling around Manila before going home but it was impossible to do so.

Two days prior to my flight, I had my toot extracted. Finally pain free lmao. Ang dami ko talagang dinadala na I chose not to acknowledge.

One day prior to my fight, my family had to move out temporarily to an apartment because they were planning to have an overall renovation of the house. I honestly had no energy left while juggling lots of stuff, so I requested not to move an inch of my stuff in my room (I’d hate it) and I would do it after I go back from the concert. I was not able to feel the countdown that it happened so fast...

Past 11 AM of August 23, we we already heading to the airport. I rarely caught up some air prior to this since I was trying to act semi-responsible as a student that I still attended my class in the morning but had to ditch my last class of the day.

I was able to take a rest during the trip with Ate Elle and Ate Dhang on board. This is it!!!

#exploration in manila #personal #exo

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magnus-sm-writes · 4 years

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astronomy vol 1 by sleeping at last!

Thank you so much for the ask, Abby!

Okay so I didn’t even know that Sleeping At Last released a new album (and gosh do I feel like a bad fan for that) but I just listened to the whole thing and it is??? So beautiful??? The entire album makes me happier than I can describe, and it, just like everything else Sleeping At Last creates, is a beautiful combination of music and emotion.

And I want to write for Lessons in Humanity right now so thanks for that, Abby

Top two:

“September 15, 2017: Cassini - The Grand Finale”

The callbacks to Atlas: Space make this song amazing for me. I loved the little motif from “Venus”, one of my favorite songs, and instantly added it to my Kamsel playlist.

“Saturn”

Is this cheating, to put this here? I don’t really care. “Saturn” is and has been one of my all-time favorite songs from Sleeping At Last. The line “how rare and beautiful it is to even exist” has stuck with me. I repeat it to myself when life gets difficult or I feel insignificant. It’s such a powerful song. (Honestly, my top three from Atlas: Space are “Saturn”, “Sun”, and “Venus”, so that completely explains how both of these got into my top two.)

Honorary because it made me cry: “February 13, 2018: Opportunity - Mission Complete”

I, much like many other people, bawled when I found out that Oppy passed. Oppy’s final transmission might not have actually been “my battery is low and it is getting dark”, but her legacy still makes me cry every single time I think about her. Oppy was instrumental in gathering our knowledge about Mars, and the fact that there’s a beautiful song forever memorializing her brings me more joy than I can express. Also the way it cuts out at the end... I actually did start dry-heaving out of sheer sadness.

Bottom two (only by technicality):

“December 13, 2018: Geminid Meteor Shower”

For some reason, I didn’t find this one to be as memorable as the rest, although it was still a lovely song!

“August 12, 2018: Perseid Meteor Shower”

Really, this one is here for the same reason as the first. Neither one of the meteor showers really interested me as much as most of the other songs, but they’re still really good music that I definitely enjoy.

💌 Go ahead and send me an album to hear my top and bottom two songs from it! 💌

#morgan talks sometimes #morgan answers asks #sleeping at last is one of my favorite bands #yes i do cry thinking about oppy what of it #and yes i do DESPERATELY want to write for lessons in humanity

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kuciradio · 7 years

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DAY N NIGHT 2017 (part I)

The 2nd annual Hip-Hop festival Day-N-Night hosted by THE OBSERVATORY and presented by REVOLTtv happened this weekend September 8-10 at the Angel Stadium of Anaheim. As a first time attendee to this festival I must say I was very impressed. All three days offered an eclectic array of up and coming hip-hop artists. From precocious 12 year-old fidget spinner rapper sensation Matt Ox, to already more establish acts like Majid Jordan, there was something for everyone. And with big name headliners such as; Travis Scott, Grammy winning artists Kendrick Lamar, and Chance The Rapper, I already knew I was in for a good time.

The heat did not deter fans from going all out this weekend. Upon arrival on Day 1 of Day-N-Night, the temperatures were already in the high 80s, but the crowd was nevertheless beaming with excitement. Lines moved quickly thru security, and getting your wristband for the event was a breeze. My only complaint would be not being able to get your wristband upon receiving your tickets at will call, but perhaps that’s how they kept lines moving rather quickly, jumping from one line to another, allowed for constant fluidity. As for VIP holders, one of many cool perks, was that they had a separate entrance in which allowed them to bypass the lines, which is a big deal when the event was rumored to host more than 20,000 thousand attendees. Another perk as a VIP holder was that unlike other festivals where the VIP section is actually far off to the side of the stages, this time around VIP holders had the same opportunity as GA ticket holders to be in the front at centers stage, but with the benefit of not having thousands of attendees fighting for the same spot. But whether you were VIP or not the perk of having a festival being held at a baseball stadium were the restrooms! Yes, I said restrooms. Finally! Actual toilets and sinks to wash your hands off. Portable Potties were still on site, no festival is a festival without them, but let’s be real no one was really using them.

The weekend was definitely a blissful hip-hop blur. The first act I caught was THEY, a LA based hip-pop, R&B grunge duo. They were a great band to start the festival with, as their set was full of energy and heavy rock and roll vibes. On the main stage MadeinTYO kept the energy going by yelling to the crowd to mosh pits or get out. Later on, followed by 19 year old teen idol Khalid, he brought back down the crowd a few notches with his slow jams and hits like “Location”. While on the other end of the festival grounds we had Majid Jordan performing their electronic ballads to an excited dancing crowd. I must say, Majid Jordan blew me away. The combination of intergalactic visuals juxtaposed to Majid’s crooning voice and Jordan’s electronic beats will forever be one of my favorite sets at Day-N-Night.

Travis Scott closed Day 1 with a killer performance, flying on a hawk over the crowd and all. I had never seen Travis Scott perform live, and that night I walked out a fan. His energy on stage is electric. He definitely brought the house down.

Day 2, I spent it mostly hanging out in the artists compound. I don’t even know how that happened, but it was definitely a change of scene. From rubbing elbows with Post Malone and seeing meme sensation ‘Cash me Ousside’ girl Bhad Bhabie IRL, I got a glimpse of the shenanigans that happen backstage. And while that was fun and all, I mean I got a swagbag full of goodies by sponsors RIP&DIP, (thanks for my cool new alien socks!) I still found myself bummed for missing out on some acts.

Hearing the crowd sing out loud to Post Malone’s ‘Congratulations’ in the backstage area was bittersweet. I still did manage to catch new sensation SZA perform on the main stage. Her song ‘Drew Barrymore’ had the crowd going wild. Before SZA, British rapper Little Simz held her own as she rapped songs ‘Dead Body’ and ‘Back Seat’. Don’t let her looks fool you. Little Simz knows how to deliver cut-throat lyrics and rhymes.

By the end of the night of Day 2, Grammy winner Chance the Rapper had everybody dancing and singing along to gospel music. Day 3, had me glued all day to the front of the main stage awaiting Kendrick Lamar, and I wasn’t alone. By 1 pm there was already a big crowd forming for Kendrick. On the flipside, many of the acts I wanted to catch (aside from Massego and Daniel Ceasar) were performing on the main stage that day. Princess Nokia, showed festival goers that hip-hop is not an all man’s world. She flaunt her body with feminist pride and confidence, warning men that he who dared to harass or take advantage of any women in the festival would get their butts kicked out. Her song ‘Tomboy’ had the crowd dancing and singing along, while her freestyle rap proved that she is not one to be messed around with.

Another act that I truly enjoyed was Russ. He made his fame via Soundcloud and killed it on stage. He has a strong presence and as Princess Nokia, let the freestyle rap flow with tenacity and grace. My favorite song was ‘Goodbye’ as it reflected about toxic relationships and the catharsis of finally letting go. Before Kendrick hit the stage, we got a memorable performance by YG. Another Compton native, he had the crowd bumping and grinding to his hits like ‘Who do you Love’ and then taking a more political stand point when he brought out a Trump impersonator, for his song FDT towards the end of the set. Quite the memorable moment for the festival as Orange County is home of Sanctuary City Santa Ana. YG’s closing song paved way for Kendrick’s politically charged performance at the end of Day 3 of Day-N-Night.

Kendrick Lamar made a dramatic entrance with his song DNA from his latest album DAMN. With storytelling visuals and pyrotechnics, Kung Fu Kenny had all of Orange County going mad with excitement. Kendrick delivered hits from his latest album such as ‘Loyalty and ‘Element’ but he also sang some of his classics like ‘Bitch don’t kill my Vibe’ and ‘Swimming Pools’. In all Kendrick Lamar was the cherry on top to what was already an amazing weekend full of music and memorable moments.

As the crowds dwindled down and I made my way back to the car, I realized how this weekend was make or break for The Observatory and for the festival’s future in Orange County. Last year while the event as a whole was well curated and praised by many, fans did complained about the location as it was far in the canyons of Orange County and the 5 plus hour long traffic jammed caused by a “rumored’ shirtless gunman on the last day of the festival did not help at all to the cause. This year though, it seems that hosting the festival at The Angels Stadium parking lot was a stroke of genius by event staffers. While unconventional, it honestly felt like the perfect place to host a Hip-Hop festival. A concrete jungle if you will in the middle of Orange County suburbia. Day n Night is here to stay, and if The Angels Stadium knows what is good for them, they’ll be smart to keep the festival in their grounds.

-Priscilla Perez (Celestial Transmission, Friday 6-8 pm)

Photos by Celeste De Los Santos

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cazzylimerence · 7 years

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LONG PERSONAL POST

(I’d like it if someone read this at some point ever . . . Be nice to know there’s another planet out there in this vast, black galaxy of mine)

. . .

I don’t like posting personal stuff on here. But I legitimately don’t feel like I’ve got anybody else to talk to.

First off, I am depressed. Intensely depressed. Like, Picasso’s Blue Period depressed. And I don’t know if it’s hormones, brain chemistry, or my living situation – which, on the outside doesn’t appear to be that bad, but to me, is in fact DEEPLY unsatisfying.

Here’s the deets, for any of you reading (and/or giving a shit):

I moved this year to a new city, got myself a new job – the same as before. Working in advertising as a motion graphic designer. It was my hope to find more engaging work for hirer pay. Instead, I think I got swindled on the pay, and the work is absolutely soul-crushing. It’s the type of work that kills my artistic drive and makes me feel like I’m wasting my life. We’re talking “utterly pointless, throwing eight hours (ten if you count fucking traffic) into a trash-can every fucking day” bad. I mean it’s boring, repetitive, and annoying.

What do I DO at work you ask? Well, basically, I build shitty low-quality TV commercials all day. And not the glamorous type, either. The “Sal’s auto parts”, “Vicky’s Salon, “ Pete’s Pizza” type of commercials (SSDD) – and the clients are awful. They want shitty powerpoint presentations with grainy photos of fucking dogs instead of actual, engaging, colorful designs that draw attention. And I, with my BA in Visual Communications, my Masters in Computer Animation, and my 5 1/2 fucking years of Agency Experience (where I actually worked with not-for-profit clients and felt like I was contributing to something) have to produce these POS commercials the way these awful clients want them produce. I.E. badly. So, like, too much text on the end screen, terrible photos, ugly color scheme, lame cross dissolves, etc, etc.

Sometimes I can ignore how bad this makes me feel. How useless and wasted it means I am. I mean, I grew up wanting to be an animator for Walt Disney for fucks sake. I grew up wanting to tell stories! Now look at me! Churning out cookie-cutter :15s-:30s TV spots for a company that has no idea how to operate coherently.

Sometimes I distract myself with music, or TV shows, or books, or audiobooks, or films. Other times I try obsessing over an actor, or writing my crummy little fan fictions that I feel like nobody reads or comments on anymore.

But it’s always the same. In the end, I ALWAYS go back to feeling depressed.

And what’s worse, my husband – (disclaimer: I love the guy a ton) – is just as bad. As in, he’s just as depressed. Maybe even worse than I am. In fact, it’s gotten so bad lately that I’ve started actively worrying about suicide risk with him.

So I can’t be the unhappy one in the marriage because he already is, and ONE of us as to be the rock, don’t they? And yes, that’s an awful, scummy, selfish way of looking at it. But that’s how I feel. I don’t resent him, not really. I just feel like I’m not allowed to be sad because, well, he’s got it worse – plus, he’s an immigrant, and he literally has no one to talk to (well, unless he wants to Skype, but the time difference is so severe he’s never really able to).

To recap: I’m depressed, and I can’t talk to my husband about it. And I can’t talk to my mom, either because she has a heart condition and I don’t want to stress her out. I can’t talk to my dad because he’s turning 60 and he just wants to fucking retire and be done with the “grunt work / labor ant / rat race” routine that he’s had to put up with for his whole insignificant little working-class life. I can’t talk to my sister because she’s an artist in Boston, has a brilliant soul-invigorating job and just started a new relationship with a nice, financially stable guy (or so I’m told). I can’t talk to my brothers because they’re in a band and they only ever text me to help them with logo work for their album covers. And I can’t talk to my friends because I left them in another fucking city – and oh yeah, I’M SOCIALLY AWKWARD AS FUCK. I can’t really ever start a conversation, let alone THIS conversation, with them and when I think about trying to I remind myself how long it’s been and just wind up guilting myself into silence again.

So yeah. Part of me thinks this is not a big deal. Like, it’s not so bad. I’m happy some of the time. And other folks have it worse.

But MAN ALIVE, when I’m NOT HAPPY? Like, HOLY FUCK. It’s AWFUL. Because I still have to function.

I still have to go to my shit job and provide for my sad husband. And I have to fake a smile through all of it.

And when I go to do something meaningful, something I enjoy, or used to enjoy, like writing, or painting, I have no drive left. I just feel like - what’s the point? No one reads my stories, and no one will want to. Paint something? Well that just takes too much effort (I mean I gotta set the paints out and the canvas and set everything up, ugh fuck that).

What’s that you say? Join a gym? Drink water? Eat healthy? Take vitamins?

Well, I do drink water, and take vitamins. And I do try to eat healthy, as best I can given my budget. As for joining a gym, that takes time and more importantly energy - energy I just don’t seem to have anymore. And yes, I know I have to expend energy to make energy. But honestly? I already cover the few small hours I’m not in the fucking office like a dragon hoarding it’s treasure. I don’t want to give up the only free time I have to go to a place that smells of sweat and awkwardness only to have odd men gawk at my lack of decent gym clothes – or self esteem.

And yes, I could jog around the block but my neighborhood is sketch central in the summer and an ice berg in the winter and again, time and energy.

Also, I’m going to be 30 next year. And 10 years after that, I’ll be 40 –

–which, as you all know, is the cut-off-date for attractiveness and purpose in a woman. I mean, at 40 you don’t look good and you can’t have kids, right? So why try anything after that? (I’m being sarcastic here, in case you didn’t realize . . .)

I’ve tried looking for other jobs, but there’s really no other jobs around here that appeal in a ‘won’t also crush my soul’ kind of way, and I don’t know how to cross the gasp from advertising into another field. I do know this, however –

I don’t want to be where I am. I don’t want to be in advertising anymore. I don’t want to feel empty and pointless.

I WANT TO WRITE.

I WANT TO ACT. I’d love to voice-act, but I can’t come up with my own project (see above for reasons why).

I WANT TO COLLABORATE WITH SOMEONE. I want to find that creative partner who sparks a fire me, and who I spark a fire in too. I want someone to talk to about crazy creative project ideas at 1am, someone to try stuff with, someone to motivate me and inspire me. A muse to surpass all muses.

But most importantly I WANT TO CREATE AGAIN AND FEEL HAPPY, LIKE I’M CONTRIBUTING SOMETHING to SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE!!!!!

But instead . . . I am alone. Utterly alone. (At least, that’s how I feel right now, anyway.)

Here’s hoping this transmission reaches someone. And if it does, here’s hoping that someone wants to talk, too. I could use a friend.

#personal #personal shit #depression #sad #sadness #emotion #emptiness

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