#honey queen!zoey

[raspberrysmoon]

Sorry if this is too many characters (and sorry they’re both bastard characters) but Sam sweetly and Wiley/Wilbur in I curse the day PLEASE

ohhhhhh you, my friend, have opened up a LARGE can of worms, and have asked about 3 characters and their partners/families :3 (also zero worries abt it being too many omg,,, you could send me 15 and id answer with joy. and i love bastard characters)

honey queen!zoey mention start

sam sweetly is. hes having a rough go

sam's girlfriend dies... really suddenly. he assumes she moved to clivesdale (as honey queens tend to) but i think he knows shes dead. he struggles with the lack of pussy this causes him, but he doesn't really mourn her.

then charlotte divorces him, and his world actually kind of falls apart. he really did care about her, i think, but he just didn't want to. so he didn't. its sort of like when an abusive parent dies, and while you wish you weren't upset, you still are.

he throws himself into work after that. she took the house (it was hers to begin with) and it.. would've left him homeless had he not been able to fall back on a coworker. he manages to get an apartment, but he only goes there to sleep.

sam doesn't really have a strong connection to anyone. probably wiggly, but its not even strong enough to cause any side effects

sam sweetly is killing himself, whether he knows it or not. if he does, then he certainly knows whos fault it is. he'll die in the line of duty, and they'll only bury him to get his body out of sight.

honey queen!zoey mention end

now, wilbur and wiley. i have a lot of feelings about these two. and, yes, i said two.

wilbur cross was a strong willed man. he was going to go home to his wife, and he was going to manage it unharmed.

thats what he told himself.

it didn't work out that way.

he fell to the hands (tentacles?) of his patron god, and no matter how strong willed you think you are, you can't fight the will of wiggly.

even if he wanted to, he can't come home anymore. there is no home for him to go home to. his wife is gone- more cursed than he- and the only other person he could call family has orders to shoot him on sight. six in the head, two in the heart. ideally, if john can stomach to do it, he would tear wilburs heart out, and tear it apart.

wilbur is still in there, somewhere. he's trapped and suffering more than any man could comprehend. if his wife could escape, then so could he.. but john can't hear him anymore.

mild gore warning for wiley. wiley is gross

uncle wiley is... a doormat. it'd probably have self-esteem issues if wiggly would let it. it grew out of the ashes of wilbur cross like a phoenix, and it hasn't lost its grip on life since.

if it can even be called alive. its skin falls off at a touch and its bones crack and crumble into dust under the pressure of gravity. but it can walk and speak and kill, so it must be alive.

it has no wife. it has no son. it has nothing but its god. it has no reason to want anything or anyone but its god. it will never dream of anything more than this.

(even if its god causes seizures so intense it takes days to wake up. even if its god takes its memories, and his consciousness. even if its god takes its ability to speak or swallow or breathe. uncle wiley doesn't need anything but wiggly.)

uncle wiley feels nothing but hatred toward miss holloway. it does not know her name, and it does not know where the ring on her came from. it does not know where that denim jacket came from. it wants that denim jacket. wiggly wants it to take the denim jacket.

it will have to kill to get that denim jacket.

[harmonizingsunsets]

Running Gags in Hatchetfield Musicals pt 6 | Hating Clivesdale (fuck em)

[its-short-for-jackalope]

hatchetfield memes: Honey Queen Edition

I got sooo many screenshots of Nick!Hidgens, you guys...

[doug-meat]

one day i will run out of textposts to hatchetfield-ify. lucky for you all today is not that day

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

I love the part in Honey Queen where Sam asks Zoey if she'll take him to New York with her when she makes it big on Broadway. There's so much hope and longing in his voice... for just a split second he stops being Sam the Scummy Cheater Cop and becomes a guy who wants to be loved and valued, just like anyone else.

That's what I love about so many of the Hatchetfield antagonists. They are horrible people who do horrible things, but they are still, in fact, people. People with hopes and dreams and loves that we can't help but relate to in spite of ourselves.

(Liveblogging Honey Queen with Blinky's Rewatch Party)

[paranormaltheatrekid]

forget wilbur and holloway, I need a rivalry like this

[aliceisaperson]

I fucking love Hailey, I mean come on, she’s an incredibly insecure lesbian theater kid with IBS (inter-dimensional bowel snake) who’s constantly seeking approval from people who couldn’t care less about her. And if that isn’t the most fucking relatable thing ever-

[xxbimboboyxx]

She has absolutely done this

In case this isnt clear enough, this is zoey😭

(reblogs > likes!!!!!!)

[incorrecthatchetfield]

Linda: You know when you lose your wallet? Well, imagine how hard that must be for me because my house is just SO BIG, right? I have to check around twenty rooms sometimes if I lose my wallet, which should be easy to find because it's so BIG and FAT and FILLED WITH MONEY

Zoey: you think people are going to relate to this?

[bwaybby09]

So pretty much:

Nick got to be Professor Hidgens,

Jeff got to be Professor Hidgens,

Mariah got to be Professor Hidgens (playing a character as a character),

and now Corey got to be Professor Hidgens (singing Show Stopping Number on stage)!

Wonder who’s next?

[teranobriss]

Ive been thinking, why on earth would Paul attend the Honey Queen Pageant?

I'm not saying he couldn't enjoy it. It's obviously a big deal for Hatchetfield's citizens. It just seems like a pageant where there's bound to be singing and performances and dancing wouldn't really be something he'd voluntarily attend; he'd be more likely to just hang around the festival and do the other events.

So, bear with me, here's my theory:

What if he went because Emma was participating as one of the contestants?

Now, sure, it really doesn't seem like something she'd do. But she works a coffee shop job she doesn't like much and that doesn't pay luxuriously, and the pageant had the allure of big winnings.

She might've just gone "oh, what the hell," and decided to participate, in the rare event she won the money. She'd be able to kickstart that pot farm!

Plus, who knows? Maybe she saw it as a chance to compete a bit with Zoey since we know they're not the chummiest when at work.

What if Paul and Emma met in that timeline, and he decided to attend just to support Emma and watch her performance?

Again, just an idea I've been mulling over for a bit.

[raspberrysmoon]

um raspberry um for the ask game thingy

my girl maybe? zoey?

oh my god. yes yes yes youre so right. thisll be fun

honey queen!zoey mention

this.. may not make you happy noel im sorry but i will always and forever do anybody you want ily /p

zoey is a bitch. zero other way to put it. she's extra aggressive with emma once her hearing starts going, and she's rude to nora when nora tries to step in. everyone assumes shes Just Like That when in fact zoey is losing her teeth. theyre just. fallin out. no dental issues or anything

she's also highly allergic to (and therefore very scared of) bees and wasps. like, throw up/pass out lever scared of them, would die in minutes if she got stung

so zoey is connected to nibbly. really connected, actually. she's cruel and determined and she will be winning honey queen whether anybody likes it or not, she doesnt give a shit what happens to her opponents

zoey chambers is a honey queen. one of the most recent, and one of the most beautiful. steph and zoey meet once, sitting for nibbly. they dont like each other. steph can never find zoey after that. zoey cant even find herself. zoey is gone. more gone than ruth, or richie, or max. nibbly is particular with the pets he keeps.

[harmonizingsunsets]

Running Gags in Hatchetfield Musicals pt 11 | Beanie’s Having Shit (spit) Coffee

[its-short-for-jackalope]

I am a slow sketcher (read: perfectionist) so I only got a couple sketches done during the first Honey Queen party, but I'm happy with em!!

[spookysplatt]

Zoey's Honey Queen dress was iconic ngl

Quick drawing to get back in the habit of doing portraits, yes I added galaxy eyeshadow, it fit the vibes

@zoeyslament (THE Zoey Chambers guy) gave me the idea thank you it was very fun

[blinkysrewatchparty]

Come join us THIS SATURDAY!! 👁️