#hoooo this one's heavy for me

[bone-evidence]

Under the cut is a little poetry and me kinda figuring out what the fuck is up with me rn

My body remembers your heat

Scorching fire through forest canopy

Green things sprout in your wake

But the ashes still hold your memory

So a year ago my last friend group imploded. I won't get into incredible detail, because it was... A lot, if I'm honest. There was a lot wrong with me back then. But I'll get into some for my own posterity.

So not only was it friend group but also my last partner. I was still very very much mourning my relationship with my ex and jumped into a relationship against a friend's wishes. I understand now that I just wanted to feel loved again, feel accepted and seen after honestly a very traumatic time. There was a lot going on at the time mentally with me, I'm pretty sure I was fully delusional about this new relationship and how 'meant to be' it was. So yeah. This one was my fault, and the person I was in a relationship with's fault.

The implosion of all that sucked, it sucked a lot, there wasn't much of a conversation beyond everything I said being completely dismissed (After everything I put this friend through I feel like that's fair tbh). It's been a year and while my conscious mind didn't quite remember, holy fuck my body did!

I've been very anxious, very.... Not social, like I just don't have the words to keep a conversation going. I was doing so good on keeping my room clean but then this hit and I have a lot of laundry to catch up on lmao. The thought 'everyone hates me' has been on my mind a lot lately. I am actively combating that thought because I know that's not true.

I think I'm still coming to terms with everything that happened then tbh? Coming to terms with how I could hurt someone that much, still unlearning some of the shit I had to tell myself to keep going. It sucks. It scares me that I have the capacity to hurt someone like that. I think I've been so closed off because even though I'm more sane, more conscious of the fact that my choices have consequences and I shouldn't throw everything away for a few fleeting moments, I think deep down I'm scared I'll hurt someone again

[shhhsecretsideblog]

Anniversary To Remember

RP / story written with @tbgblr2 Thanks for taking on the challenge of this idea and my attempt to find an inconvenient birth location that hadn’t been written before. (9.5k words)

“Wha… NO!” you snapped as you looked at the sign in front of us.

“Please?” I asked, with my best doe eyed expression. “I booked it specially for us last year… I know things have changed, but it's perfectly safe.”

“I’ll fall through.” You groan, admittedly giggling at the thought.

“No you won't, they’re not like the old days with wicker baskets, they’re proper, metal structures designed to hold 10 times our combined weight.” I retorted.

It was our second wedding anniversary today. When we discussed it last year, the day after our one year anniversary, it sounded like a great way to celebrate our second. We were going on a hot air balloon ride over the city into the countryside and staying for a romantic meal together with a night in a log cabin to follow.

Only our desires got the better of us, and here we were looking at the sign for the balloon place with you holding your hands under your blossoming belly – 9 months of it.

You had forgotten all about it with all the baby commotion, but when I pulled up to the venue near the airport, it all came flooding back.

“The doctor said you weren’t due for another week, and this will be the last chance we can do something crazy like this before the baby comes. It makes lots of sense to do it now and cross it off our bucket list… plus I can’t get a refund.” I tried to reason with logic.

You shook your head. “I think my belly is almost the size of that balloon the way I feel.” Despite your protest you’re clearly thinking about it and, warming up to the idea, you eventually smile at me.

“That’s my girl” I grin “Don’t worry, it’s only 3 hours”

~•~

I roll my eyes but my lips pull into a smile. “Okay, let’s do it. Here’s hoping we can both fit in there.” I joke, rubbing the swell of my heavy stomach.

Leaving the house was the last thing I wanted to do today, and taking a romantic hot air balloon ride? Complete madness. But you were just so excited, this was something you’d always wanted to do for as long as I’d known you. And those doe eyes, I really couldn’t say no.

As we stood and waited for the stewards to set up the balloons, I grimaced at the twinge flaring in my back.

“Oof-” I huff out, and attempt to hold up my bump that’s weighing heavy on my hips and cramping my spine.

“Baby kicking you in the ribs again?” You ask, noticing my expression.

“No… it’s just really heavy. Hoooo- I’ll be glad when this pregnancy is over.”

“Not long left to go sweetie. Here, let me try something.” You stand behind me, arms snaking my waist, and you lift up the large bump containing our baby. My head falls back against you with relief. “That feels wonderful.” I murmur, enjoying the momentary feeling.

After a couple of minutes of respite, you gently let go and the weight returns to my pelvis and I groan softly.

“Are you sure this is safe?” I ask, taking another deep breath, rubbing my belly subconsciously. “I’m not sure I’m up for this…”

~•~

“It’s the safest thing in the world” came the voice across the way. One of the representatives of the balloon company came striding up and shook my hand. “How can I help?”

I picked up my phone and scrolled through to our online voucher. “I’m here for our booking?” I asked, showing the details to the man who approached.

“Ahh!” came the reply. “You’re here to fly. Got your transport right over here. Flying it myself today. Names Jimmy. I couldn’t help but overhear the discussion earlier, let me tell you, kids are the best thing in the world, and once you’re up in the air, you’re going to have stories to tell them to get them to sleep for years to come. Just checking…” he sounded slightly unsure “are you safe to fly in your condition?”

“I have the medical certificate here, got it last week.” I announced. Jimmy looked it over.

“Good all seems to be in order, if you’ll follow me… our chariot awaits!” Jimmy was enthusiastic, I’ll certainly give him that.

~•~

I was glad when Jimmy directed us further across the field, I needed the opportunity to walk off the cramp rippling my stomach. The braxton hicks had been happening on and off today, which wasn’t particularly unusual, but I didn’t want to tell you as I knew you’d only worry. I didn’t want to ruin this once in a lifetime experience for you.

My eyes widened when I saw the basket we’d be riding in; it was huge and a lot taller than I anticipated. It was higher than my waist.

“Erm… how am I going to get in that?” I ask uncertainly.

Jimmy produced a stepping stool, presumably he was used to getting people in and out the large basket but perhaps never someone quite this pregnant before.

~•~

It took a few false starts, with you stepping on, trying to get your leg over the top, giving up, repositioning, trying again and again, but eventually you were able to use my shoulder as support as I lifted you up over the edge of the basket. “Maybe I should have gotten in first and lifted you over?” I suggested, as I scrambled in behind you.

You huffed out a breath as you smiled “I am in no condition to be lifted thank you!”

It was quite roomy all things considered. There was a small cabin to one side where the pilot could sit and do his thing without directly interfering with us. I looked over and saw the laptop computer affixed to a small tray against the wall.

Our area was open sided, exposed to the elements, but thankfully it was a nice day and aside from higher winds when we got up to a decent height, we were expecting clear views and plenty of lasting memories.

We cuddled together as Jimmy announced he was lighting the burners – the whoosh of the gas and the heat of the flames announced we were getting ready to go. I hugged you from behind and as there was a quick lurch from the balloon lifting off the ground I felt your usually soft belly harden under my fingers. “What was that?” I whispered to you.

~•~

“What was what?” I reply casually, keeping my eyes forward at the ground that was slowly disappearing beneath us.

You say my name with a hint of a scolding, knowing I knew exactly what you were referring to. My belly was still contracting under your fingers and I could see in your eyes that you could feel it too.

“It’s nothing, just another braxton hicks that’s all. Don’t worry. Look at this amazing view” I try to distract you “we’re already so high.”

~•~

I calm a little as I feel the tension ease around your middle. Taking your hand in mine we walked over to the edge of the basket. We spend a good 5 minutes with the wind ruffling our hair as we stare out over the city. “There's our house!” I excitedly point out into the distance. “There’s your parent’s place. Oh and mine.” I’m lost in the giddy enjoyment of this, holding your hand tight and don’t notice your grip tightening and tightening more on mine as the next contraction starts to grip your middle.

“If we need to get down, how do we do that?” you asked Jimmy.

“Sorry, nothing much we can do now until we’re outside the city. Nowhere clear to land. Figure we need about 2 hours minimum with this wind speed. Afraid we can’t just turn these things around and head home.” He was smiling but didn’t even look up at you as he responded, he was too focused on twisting the knobs on the gas bottles to get the mixture right and tapping his route onto the laptop to let air traffic control know where we were heading.

I turn back around and grasp you around the waist – your bump pressed in tight against me as I cuddle you close to me. I don’t notice the strained tension that had gripped it a few moments before. Kissing you I whisper “Happy anniversary. Here’s to lots of years and lots of babies!”

~•~

“Lots of babies eh? Let’s see how we get on with this one first before you start planning for a whole football team.” I shift my hips subtly side to side, trying to not think about just how low the baby felt in my pelvis.

“You were right; it is really magical up here. You can see the whole city.” I say wandering as much as I can in the small space, needing to move, looking out at every angle towards the horizon. The sun was shining brightly illuminating the tiny buildings below, clouds littered the perfectly blue sky, but it was the silence that made the experience otherworldly. It was so quiet up here. Just the sounds of the breeze and the occasional whoosh of the gas canisters keeping our balloon in the air.

I ended up leaning against the adjacent wall of the basket to you, each of us looking out at the impressive scenery, but I’m pulled out of the experience but a forceful contraction squeezing and tightening my belly. My breath hitches, pain pressing more urgently now through my body. I try to steady my breathing, long deep breathes through the pain, that’s what they say don’t they? My fingers grip the padded railing and my head dips slightly. Stay calm, just breathe, I tell myself. This might not be labour.

~•~

You suddenly feel my hand rubbing your back. “You ok?” I ask, concern in my voice looking at your white knuckles gripping the side. Your eyes dart between my face and what I’m looking at, suddenly releasing your grip.

“Yeah, fine. Just baby’s really low. Probably just the change in gravity because we’re so high.”

I caught my laugh, sniggering through my lips. “No, you’re just very, very pregnant.” My hands grip either side of your hips and press, the moan escaping your lips echoed out across the wide open air.

I lean in close and whisper so only you can hear “Just breathe through it, we’ll be on the ground in a couple of hours.”

~•~

“You know?” I whisper my reply, turning my head slightly to find you nodding, a grin twitching your lips. “Damn, I thought I’d been more- hooo-subtle.”

Slowly, I turn around to face you, holding on to your biceps as I find myself needing both the physical and emotional support.

“Ooohhhh- why now?” I quietly moan against your chest.

“Shhhhhh it’s okay.” You whisper into my hair, rubbing my back before pressing deep into my hips again. “How long do you think you’ve been in labour for?” You ask.

“Mmmm- I’m not sure. My body’s always aching and cramping these days, I- I didn’t think anything of it….” I reply softly, my breath hitching again with another contraction. My heavy rounded belly is squashed between us and I’m almost certain you’d be able to feel it through your shirt, tensing and contracting against your stomach.

~•~

The next contraction builds without warning as you grab hold of me tight, your fingers digging into my shoulders as you press your forehead into my chest, desperately resisting the urge to scream, knowing it would likely cause chaos with our pilot. My hands grip into the small of your back and you press back into them, you’re suddenly bent at the waist, your feet spread, hips swaying side to side as you groan quietly into me.

My forehead rests against you and to the outside world - or specifically Jimmy at this moment - it just looks like we’re embracing and enjoying the moment.

Suddenly there’s a splash between your legs and you find your dress is sticking to your legs. You go wide eyed. There’s no mistaking it now…

~•~

“Oh my god…” my voice is barely a whisper as I stare up at you in shock. Your expression mirrors my own.

“Erm… is everything alright guys?” Jimmy asks in an upbeat tone that feels alien to the both of us right now.

“Not really no…” I say to our bewildered pilot, before turning back to you. “Honey, I think I need to sit down.”

Your hand is around my waist as you walk me over to the small cushioned bench sitting one end of the hot air balloon basket, you steady me as I awkwardly lower myself down.

“Are you okay here for a minute while I update our pilot on what’s happening?” You ask quietly, one hand affectionately rubbing my stomach.

“Mmmm- yeah… I think so. Thanks.” I reply and watch you walk over to Jimmy to presumably tell him that I’m in labour.

Everything feels different now I’m sat down; my hips ache, my pelvis feels full and my stomach seems to sit further out forcing itself to sit between my thighs. The baby had definitely dropped and was making its arrival known.

Why now… why here… I thought to myself, this baby has a really warped sense of timing. I closed my eyes and rubbed slow circles around my stomach. I tried to stay calm and reassure myself that everything would be okay, but my broken waters continuing to leak from me served as a constant reminder of my advancing labour. My heart raced and it felt like I couldn’t quite catch my breath through the rising panic…

~•~

I look Jimmy straight in the eyes. “We need to get down. Now… if not sooner.”

He shook his head “I wasn’t lying when I said we couldn’t. You guys knew the issues before you got on. I’ll put an SOS out so the medical facilities will meet us when we land, but it’s going to be around 2 hours.”

“Shit” I cursed under my breath, as you groaned loudly, the first vocalisation of a rapidly accelerating labour.

I dashed to you and skidded down to my knees, inadvertently sliding through your amniotic fluid in the process, cursing all the way. I grasp your hands as you grip mine - hard - as your eyes look at me pleading, struggling to catch your breath.

I talk you down, calming whispering tones as you catch your breath and groan through the rest of the contraction.

Jimmy struggles putting 2 and 2 together as he asks “what’s happening?”

“We might well be pushing out a baby at 2000 feet if you can’t get this thing on the ground” I summarise.

“Fuck” came the blunt reply from our pilot.

~•~

We stay in that position for the next few contractions - offering me your hands to hold or shoulders to squeeze. Meanwhile, Jimmy is nervously pressing buttons on his map and contacting the base on the ground, trying to find any nearby suitable location to land - his laidback persona starting to fray at the edges.

“Hooo- the baby feels so low…” I huff out after a particularly fierce contraction. “I don’t think… I can sit anymore. Feels like I’m sitting on their head. Need to- oof- stand. Help me up?” I ask holding out my arms.

Your large hands hook under my arms and slowly aid me to standing. My balance is thrown off, the baby even lower, and I stumble a little but you’re quick to react and hold me steady.

“How are you doing love?” You ask me with concerned eyes.

“Okay… as well as I can b-be in the circumstances.” I attempt to joke, motioning to the basket and the open skies around us and the ridiculous situation we’ve found ourselves in.

“I guess of all places to labour, this has definitely got the best views.” You tuck a sweaty strand of hair behind my ear. You’re barely even looking at where we are - eyes focussed solely on me.

“I’m sorry… I ruined this experience for you.” I murmur quietly to you, feeling guilty that you were now missing out on enjoying this bucket-list activity.

“What? Don’t be silly. You’re having my baby, there is literally nothing more important to me than the two of you.” You kiss my forehead and pull me closer.

Before I can respond another contraction steals any words I could say and I’m left with only deep groans coming from my mouth.

The pain and pressure rages through my very core, my hands scramble to hook themselves around your neck as my hips sway and my knees bounce, pulling myself downwards against your sturdy frame, releasing a low moan against your chest.

When the contraction fades and my ability to speak returns I ask “do you think we should maybe start… hoooo… timing them?”

~•~

“Let’s give it a go” I say, glancing at my watch. At this point I’m just playing along as I’d been timing them since I first realised you’d been having contractions. We focus on each other through the course of the next few minutes not even staring out at the view at this point - you’re deep breathing, head buried in my chest and my hands roaming your body trying to rub - anywhere - to make the pain go away.

As the next contraction builds bringing you back into your previous position, hanging low off me and moaning loud through the worst of it, I’m counting in my head. The numbers reach high enough that I just give up as you finally come out the other end and look at me.

“So you know in the birthing class when they say come in when they’re less than 5 minutes apart and last longer than a minute?”

You nod, signalling me to go on.

“I think we should have been there for quite some time now. That was 3 minutes from the last one and lasted at least a minute - lost count after 50 seconds”

Jimmys face, watching all this from afar went white.

I turned and noticed. “Hey you said you’d had babies before. Any tips for this bit? All my knowledge is from videos at this point?”

He shook his head. “No. I couldn’t handle it. Seen my wife in stirrups, seen her bulge as the head came out and I passed out. Came to as she had a baby to her chest and 2 nurses fanning me looking on concerned”

I shook my head. “Great…” I wasn’t sure how much of that you had took on in you slight state of delirium, but either way, the next contraction was building and you held on tight.

~•~

On learning that we should already be at the hospital by now with how close together the contractions were coming, I wiggled out of your hold and moved away. Needing space… to process, to not be touched.

“No…. That can’t- can’t be right. Hoooo-“ I breathed heavily, hands gripping the edge of the basket in the absence of you. Unsure if it was the increasing pressure or the very real possibility that I was going to have this baby in a damn hot air balloon, my brain went into complete denial.

“Babe, I’m sorry. We can time some more to be sure, but this baby is definitely coming, sooner than we want.” You stand next to me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder which I shrug off with a gruff. I know this isn’t your fault, just a case of really unfortunate timing, but the constant pressure and pain has me taking my frustrations out at you.

“Fuck… ohhhh my back….” I whimper, leaning over the railing and jutting my hips backwards. The baby must be pressing on a nerve that has my spine screaming.

Despite snapping at you and shrugging off any contact, your hands grasp my hips and you press your thumbs deep into pressure points in my lower back. The relief is instant, pain reducing to a level that didn’t make me want to vomit, and I exhale a moan into my elbows.

“Did we- find anywhere- else to- land?” I pant out.

You turn to Jimmy, who also heard my laboured question.

“Yes I did, it’s sooner than our original landing spot, but with the wind speed and direction we’re travelling… erm it’s still going to be at least another hour and half…” Jimmy admitted to us.

~•~

“I don’t think she’s going to last an hour and a half!” I rant at Jimmy while rubbing your back. He looks at me with an apologetic look in his eyes but didn’t say anything.

“Is there anything in here that we could use? A first aid kit at least?” I ask.

Jimmy digs under the shelf where his laptop sits and pulls out a tiny first aid kit. Leaving you for just a moment I take the first aid kit from Jimmy and open it - inside a small roll of gauze, some tape and a pair of round ended scissors.

“No idea if these will even be sharp enough to cut the cord… not that we could tie it off properly if we could.” I at least sounded like I knew what I was talking about though inside I was panicking at this point.

“Quick…” you groan as the next contraction builds and I rush over to hold your hand, feeling you squeeze tight.

~•~

I take your hand, gripping hard, and twist around towards you curling into your embrace. I hang on to you as the contraction takes hold, the pain sharp and the pressure constant. You notice the sounds I’m making with each contraction are getting deeper, now lowing instinctually with every peak.

A minute slowly passes but the contraction doesn’t fade. I’m still shifting and groaning in your arms.

“Hoooooo- No…. Oh no no no…” I suddenly whimper, panting erratically.

“What is it?” You ask worriedly.

I lift my head up, seeing the apprehension in your eyes. “I- hooohooohoo- no…. not now….”

“Baby, talk to me. I need to know so I can help you.” You plead, cupping my face.

“I think… ooohh- I think I need to push…” I say as I bite my bottom lip, breathing heavily through my nose.

~•~

It was my turn for my face to go white. “Now? No! God, no… not now!” I pleaded to the open air around us. You weren’t listening, or at least not responding, deep breaths being sucked in and puffed out to try and regain a moment of calm before the contractions happen all over again.

“You can’t push. No one has checked you… are you dilated? You might injure yourself. You have to wait until we land!” I’m rambling at this point. Instinctively I know there’s nothing we can do to stop it and it happens when it happens but the only thing going through my head is ‘we’re all alone up here.’

“Please baby do your best. You can’t push… please” I plead.

~•~

The contraction eventually begins to fade, and taking with it the urge to push. I can’t help the smile that pulls my lips hearing your string of panicked questions and your flustered demeanour. Placing a hand to your chest, I calmly say “Honey, breathe.” Echoing the words you’ve previously said to me. “It’s okay, it’s passed now.”

“Oh god, you scared the life out of me.” You pull me closer, wrapping your arms around my waist. “So… you’re doing okay now?”

“Yes, I’m okay now, we both are.” I reassure you, holding the swell of my stomach that’s nestled between us.

You crouch right down so you’re eyelevel with the bump, both your hands splayed wide across its surface. Looking up at me over the swell you mutter “Can’t believe we’re going to meet our baby.”

I giggle, placing my hands over yours. “I know, hopefully not too soon though.” My breath suddenly hitches with a sharp inhale. “Oooohhhh here comes another one. Quick, hold me-” I manage to spit out before the contraction steals my speech and buckles my knees.

~•~

You sink down to your knees, your head nestling into the crook of my neck as you flop your arms over either of my shoulders and leave them draped down my back. I feel your fists clench and release through the bouncing of your forearms as you let out a groan, muffled by the fabric of my tee shirt.

I whisper close to your ears “You’re doing great, keep on doing that, resist that urge to push.”

I feel your head bobbing into me, nodding as much as you could, not able to give me a verbal response.

Your knees are spread wide and I can only hope at this time that your stance being wide doesn’t foreshadow anything happening between them.

I glance to the side to see Jimmy moving towards us to push past my back. He was fiddling with a few ballast bags on the side of the basket, pulling them in and pushing them to the opposite side of the basket.

He didn’t say anything, but after shoving the bags over the other side, re-securing their fixings and letting them out over the edge he went back to the gas controls.

Suddenly we felt the unmistakable feeling of descent, the slight jump in the pit of our stomachs.

“Are we nearly there?” You asked. The contraction was ebbing away and your voice was croaky, only barely loud enough to hear.

“Sorry” came Jimmy, and once more he sounded genuinely apologetic. “We need to drop down a bit to catch a different wind current to get to the new destination. Still got an hour or so.”

Your head dug back into my shoulder. That wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

~•~

“An hour?! Hooooo- I don’t know if the baby is going to wait that long…” I whisper quietly in your ear, not wanting to admit it too loudly as that would make it real.

“Shhhh, it’ll be okay baby.” You quietly reply as you rub my back. “You’re doing great, keep resisting the urge. It’s not time to push yet…. It can’t be” you added so quietly, whispering to yourself. Hoping.

“The baby feels so so low…ughhh… even without a contraction the pressure… so much pressure.”

“I know darling, but you’ve got this. We’ll be back on the ground before we know it. Just hold on a little bit longer.” You look skyward, pleading to the universe. You really didn’t want to have to deliver this baby at 2,000 feet.

As the balloon dropped to its new level, the basket got caught on a rogue strong gust of wind, jolting everything and everyone inside as it swayed abruptly. With our arms wrapped around each other, we nearly toppled over but managed to stay upright as we both instinctually widened our knees for balance.

“Are you okay?” You ask me, our hearts thumping in shock.

I could only nod as another contraction started not long after the basket steadied itself.

“Jeeze, Jimmy what the hell was that?!” You shout towards our pilot.

“Sorry guys, that was a bit of a rough one.” He joked, readjusting his equipment that had dislodged

Meanwhile the contraction raged through me, every muscle seemingly tense and solid. My hips were screaming, forced apart by the large head barrelling towards my cervix. The pressure… it was too much. My knees were too wide. I couldn’t hold off any longer, I had to push…my body deciding to act of its own accord. Bearing down, a long and low grunt suddenly rattles from my throat against your neck.

~•~

I’d been paying careful attention to your grunts and moans over the past hour or so as concern grew and grew, but the new noises you were making were different. I looked at your face and saw your scrunched up eyes, the blown out cheeks and I suddenly realised.

“No!” I snapped. You didn’t respond. “Don’t push, baby, you can’t. You need to be checked. You know you can’t push until you’re fully dilated. Please… don’t want you to get injured.”

The end of the push came, you opened your eyes. There were tears there, frustration, pain, panic… who knows but all you could answer in response was “I have to push right now!” Soon you’re at it again.

~•~

“Can’t- help- it…mnghhhhhh!” My hands claw at your shoulders, using you to balance as my hips sink lower and my body pushes hard. “Oooohh… I can feel it… baby is moving…down!”

“Shit. Okay, okay.” You try and rationalise and plan, working out what the hell we were going to do now. “Baby, is this it? Is this really happening now?” You ask me.

“Ughhh! I think so… feels very real to me hooo!”

“Then we’ve got to take your panties off. We need to see if you’re fully dilated, if you should even be pushing right now.” Your brows furrow with concern and sympathy with every hitch of breath and groan of pain, knowing this was about to escalate very quickly.

Your hands disappear under my dress and find the dampened fabric of my underwear from my broken waters. You roll them down my thighs but keep them hidden from view beneath my knee-length dress, not wanting to alert Jimmy to what was happening. It was just you and me right now.

“Tell me when this contraction is over, then I can try and see if I can work out how dilated you are.” You say softly, trying to keep me calm and reassured in this far-from-ideal situation.

I nod in understanding, grunting once more in an uncontrollable push before gasping for breath at its end. “Hoooo-hoooo I think it’s passed…” I croak quietly to you.

~•~

I look up to check and see Jimmy occupying himself with his duties, not looking at us. Blowing out my own breath to calm myself I lower you down, so you’re on your hands and knees in front of me.

I stand up and move around behind you. Lifting the back of your dress up, I roll it up to expose your ass, your wide opened legs stretching your panties around your knees.

I let out an involuntary gasp. It’s not lost on you.

“What is it” you gasp. I describe the scene in front of me. Whilst your lips hadn’t yet parted, the baby’s head was definitely bulging, sitting just inside of you. I’d no medical training, but could only presume that we were at the stage where each push had the head begin to show and retreat as you stopped the effort. I explained to you that we were well past the point of needing to check your dilation, and right now we need to get you more comfortable to push… first task will be to get those panties off you so you could open up freely.

I looked up and that’s when I saw Jimmy looking straight at us, wide eyed like a deer caught in the headlights.

~•~

“I hope you’ve got some blankets or something up here Jimmy, cos this baby is going to be born before we reach the ground.” You warn him sternly, snapping him out of his panicked staring.

Ignoring our pilot, you focus your attention back to me - shifting and squirming on hands and knees, the dress still lifted showing just how close the baby was to this world.

“How are you holding up darling?” You ask quietly to me.

“Mhhhh- like there’s a bowling ball stuck in my vagina-” I snap with a gruff.

“Right let’s get those panties off before the next contraction so you’re free to move.”

My hands and knees were planted so heavily on the floor of the basket, I couldn’t move. The idea of raising either of my knees to free my underwear seemed too Herculean a task. You had to manoeuvre around me, holding me steady and pulled the garment free from my legs.

As soon as I was free my knees automatically spread opening up my hips further to ease the unbearable pressure in my pelvis. I know you wanted to move me for the next contraction, but I could already feel it approaching. Pressure was building and building, the baby pushing against my opening. With my ass still on full display I went down to my elbows, my forehead almost kissing the floor with my hips up pointing to the sky, and I succumbed to my instincts and pushed.

You held me steady as I pushed, watching in fascination as the bulge got bigger. The sounds I was making had turned primal, instinctual, and you could tell I had mentally retreated into myself and on the job I had to do.

“Oh my god… I think I can see the head!” You cried out after a forceful push showed the smallest sliver of the baby’s head appear just behind my lips.

~•~

My exclamation caused you to lose your focus, immediately stoping pushing and causing the sliver of the head to slide back in. Biology won out though as you were forced to push again only a few moments later and once more the first glimpse of our baby was clear to see again.

You grunt with relief as the contraction finally passed - with the head slipping back out of view again - but you were buoyed by my enthusiasm.

Jimmy, taking a moment to interrupt with a cough managed “sorry no towels or anything… it’s not intended to be used for ferrying the sick, wounded or I guess labouring mothers to be”

“Help me up” you gasp as you pull on my arms. I move around to grab you under the armpits and heave you up, you dress slipping back down your legs covering your modesty again.

“Here it comes” you grunt as you echo the position you’d been in only a moment ago, your arms under my armpits, one hand holding the other wrist, the other gripping tight to my tee shirt in a balled fist. You planted your legs wide and almost growled with effort as the next contraction ramped up.

~•~

My body trembled against you as I pushed, my arms so tight around you grasping at your clothes. Your frame the only thing keeping me upright, the smell of your aftershave the only thing keeping me from panicking. It was an effort to get up but I needed the gravity, something telling me to stand up, to bring the baby down.

“Oh god…” I moaned out heavily against your neck “I can f-feel the head…” my knees squatting slightly during the push, opening up for the baby to peak through.

But when the contraction was over, and the pushing stopped, the head slipped backwards and I whimpered a sob on your shoulder.

The effort of pushing had dampened the back of my neck and hair with sweat, and beads of it glistened on my forehead. Though it was early evening the sun was still bright and warm in the sky, making my temperature soar. Every pore of my skin seemed to tingle, aggravated by the fabric of my dress. My entire being was overheating. I felt like I couldn’t quite catch my breath; the air too hot, my skin too tacky.

I shifted in your arms, uncomfortable, frustrated. I needed to do something but couldn’t find the words. You noticed me pulling at the hem of my dress and knew what my subconscious was trying to do. Still holding me upright, your hands roamed my back and found the zip of my dress, pulling down, helping to free me from the cotton prison.

~•~

Your eyes opened as I reached down and grabbed the base of your dress, suddenly realising what I was doing. You stretched your arms out, hands placed lightly on my shoulders as my body raised up, pulling the dress with me as I went.

The first thing I noticed was the bump stopped the dress from coming up. I had to tug it a little to get it unstuck. I pulled it up over your breasts and over your head, then releasing it from one arm to the other until it hung loosely from my fist, draping on the floor.

The sigh of satisfaction as you felt the cool breeze rush over your exposed, overheated skin, instantly cooling you was palpable. You were now naked except for your sports bra you had put on this morning for comfort.

You gripped hard on my shoulders again, the next contraction building as you managed to grunt out “that feels so nice… but don’t you dare lose that dress. I need it to get home.”

~•~

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” You whispered back to me with a laugh.

I held on tight to you as the contraction took hold; my body pushing, squeezing, opening for the baby.

“Keep going baby, you’re doing wonderfully.” You offered words of encouragement against the moaning I was making in your ear.

“I don’t feel like I’m making any- mnghhh- progress.” I say releasing the push with a huff.

When the contraction had waned I shifted out of your hold a bit. Holding the underside of my low bump I swayed gently, facing outwards towards the stunning horizon, letting the cool breeze wash over my skin in the break I was given.

“How long til we land now?” I dared to ask our pilot, who’d been giving us a wide birth since I started openly pushing.

“We’re getting closer, I’d say just under 45 minutes.” Jimmy answered simply, completely avoiding looking in my direction.

“Do you reckon - hoooo… we’ve got any hope of making it to land before this baby c-comes?” I ask in vain, taking one hand off my bump to hold the side of the basket, my hips shifting round in wide circles.

Your hesitation gives me all the answers I need. Still you reply “Whatever happens babe, you can do this. And I’ll be right by your side.”

“Well you’re not exactly going to go anywhere.” I joke before a contraction suddenly strikes and I hiss through my teeth.

Standing in the a corner of the basket I grasp the padded railing with both hands, gripping the cushioning so hard my knuckles whiten. The baby presses lower and lower and I rock, and groan and push alongside its efforts. My hips jut backwards towards you, my back flat as I lean into the baskets edge, nearly wailing with the efforts of the push.

“Can- can you see… ohhhh…. Is it coming out now? Mghhhhh!!!” I cry out mid-push.

~•~

“I can see it baby, I can see it!” Even against all of my natural instincts to panic I’m getting invested in your progress and can’t help but get excited as things show progress. The bulge between your legs was now significantly bigger than when I had first noticed it, and whenever you were pushing, the head was forming into a genuine teardrop shape, though still not holding its place when you stopped.

“Shit” came the voice from Jimmy. Panicking, expecting to get some bad news, my eyes shoot over to him just to see him staring straight at you, focused clearly on the dark patch between your legs.

“Don’t you dare freak out or feint… there’s 4 of us in this basket relying on you to get us safely on the ground” I admonished. Jimmy in turn shook his head and thanked me, breaking his reverie and focusing back on the laptop.

Focusing back on you, you grunt as you push again. “You’re doing so good baby. I can see the head a lot when you push. Keep focused… if you want, you can reach down when you push and feel it yourself”

~•~

I tentatively release one hand's grip on the barrier, the excitement in your voice making me desperate to feel the baby. But I can’t seem to let go, the effort of pushing is too consuming and I’m scared to let go of the support. I give a loud grunt with a big push, feeling my lips starting to burn with the stretch.

But then it’s over, contraction faded, and I bring myself back up to standing. Feeling more confident without a contraction to let go of the support, I place one of my hands between my thighs and I can feel it; just behind my slightly parted lips is our baby.

“Oh my- wow!” I exclaim, making first contact with our child. “I can feel them, that’s our baby.”

“I know, and you’re doing wonderfully darling. We’ll be meeting them soon” You say, grinning ear to ear and stepping towards me.

“It’s got hair!”

“That’s not surprising, considering the amount you’ve got.” You joke and stroke the thick locks of hair that cascade past my shoulders, tucking wayward strands behind my ear.

“Do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl?” I ask, my fingers still delicately stroking the bit of head that’s peaking out.

“I’ve told you I don’t mind. As long as they are healthy and happy.”

“I know, I know…. I’m kinda hoping for a girl though…” I admit.

I feel the next contraction brewing, but I don’t want to remove my hand from my crotch. Instead I back into the corner of the basket, keeping one hand on my baby and the other flying out towards you for support.

My body sinks into a squat when the contraction hits and everything squeezes downwards. I take a big gulp of air and push… hard, feeling the baby’s head inch forward into my palm.

~•~

My hand reaches out to you, your hand on my shoulder and my hand in turn resting just under where your bra strap rests. As you sink down I follow you, ultimately ending on my haunches so I’m eye level with you. Whilst you’re desperate to close your eyes during the push you fight to keep them open and look into my eyes, my smiling demeanour giving you a level of comfort in this trying time. Suddenly I lean forward and place my second hand over yours so we are both cupping your lips. I feel the roundness of your hand as it envelops the bulge there and get in close. “Push!” I urge.

There’s no stopping you, your cheeks are puffed out and your brow is furrowed but you keep your eyes on me. Your mouth is wide and groaning as you make the effort but still we keep that connection.

My hand is pressed outwards as is yours as your lips part and your fingers rub the slick, surprisingly spongy mass slowly making its way out from between your legs.

You suck in your breath as you need a moment to get your strength as I say “again?” and you’re back at it, groaning loud and low, the hand on my shoulder grasping hard.

~•~

It was just you and me at that moment, the rest of the world completely shut out. You and me, together bringing our baby into the world.

My chest heaves with every rasped breath, my breasts resting atop the large pregnant swell that hung between my open thighs. My boobs had gotten bigger as I approached the end of this pregnancy and this bra was the only one that didn’t pinch.

Your eyes light up as we both feel the head sliding forwards into our hands. But the pain is astronomical and I’d lose myself entirely to it if you weren’t beside me right now. The baby fills even more of my palm and I can’t help but cry out “…Hurts…. Burning…” in between my laboured breaths.

The contraction starts to ebb away but I don’t want to lose this progress. It’s almost too much to bear if the baby slides back again now. I give a final long grunt, pushing as hard as I could while the contraction was still present, huffing as I release the push and hoping the baby stays put.

~•~

I watch in awe as I see you put incredible effort into a push, your face both incredibly contorted and at the same time, focused on it’s one task. Your hand moves away from between your legs, batting mine back at the same time. It twists and grabs my fingers, as my eyes sink down to the area that was previously covered.

Your hand squeezes my fingers as you let out a roaring sound, unlike any I’d heard so far. The hand on my shoulder digs in to the point where I’m certain your nails will leave embedded marks, but still my eyes focus between your legs.

In front of my eyes I see your lips spread around the head moving out, red, firey skin moulding outwards, spreading like a petal on a flower. The teardrop shape of the head, expanding outwards.

You gasp. “Burning… burning… burning, hurts” it’s almost incoherent babbling at this time, but whatever you were doing had some positive effect, as once I see your shoulders sag, right there between your legs was the most perfect oval of darkened, matted, soggy hair that I had ever seen.

“You did it baby!” I yell in triumph. That’s when I realised that you weren’t paying attention. It’s clear that at this point, there’s nothing you can do but focus on the ring of fire between your legs. It’s all consuming at this point, your knees are quivering trying not to lose control, your hands are squeezing and digging nonstop. Your eyes are closed and scrunched hard.

Youre gasping “Pull it out! Help me!” There’s nothing I can do at this point but sympathise as you struggle at this most gruelling stage of the process.

~•~

I can’t think, I can’t speak, I can’t move. I’m entirely lost in this moment; blinded by the pain of being stretched far beyond anything I thought possible. But it was more than just the spreading of my sensitive lips - my hips were wrenched apart, the baby shoved against my pelvis, the nauseating feeling of being so… full. I couldn’t take it.

My body started to tremble, you could feel it beneath the hold you had on my ribs and you could see me shaking in front of your eyes.

“I can’t do this!” I wailed, eyes scrunched and tears leaking past my lashes. “It’s too big! Uhhhh- fuck. Help me.”

“Oh baby…” you whispered, your heart breaking at seeing me in so much pain. “I know, but you are so close. You can do this.”

“I c-can’t!” I sobbed.

“Yes, you can. You are the strongest, bravest woman I have ever met. You can do anything, and you can do this. Just a little bit longer, I promise. Then when the next contraction comes, you push with everything you’ve got, okay? The head is almost here…”

I nod. That’s all I can manage. My head lolls forward, both my hands clawing at your shoulders, my entire body trembling, and we wait. We wait through agonising second after agonising second for the next contraction.

~•~

Soon it’s upon you. “It’s coming” you manage, before gripping me tightly again and dropping your chin down, closing your eyes and giving it all you’ve got.

I watch the oval shape between your legs quiver and a few seconds later start to move. You gasp, taking a breath and start again, still in mid contraction. More movement.

“Go! Go! Go!” I’m chanting, it seems to help. Finally your lips turn white, all blood drained from around them as they are stretched to their widest point.

You gasp and start panting, something primal in your memories from videos we have watched telling you to pant out the last push, and suddenly there’s a rush. You jump. There’s a gush of more fluid. My eyes go wide, and teary, what I’m seeing seems both the most natural thing in the world and at the same time the most unreal thing ever.

Deep in your squat, dangling between your legs, is the back of a baby’s head.

Your hand lets go of mine and reaches down to hold it. You’re bewildered, somewhat exhausted and sore, but you’ve accomplished a major milestone.

~•~

Gasping, my fingers delicately roam the whole circumference of the head that’s now outside of me. “Oh… hi baby.” I say softly to our child.

I look up at you and see the tears in your eyes. “Oh my god… oh my god…” I sob through my smile, not quite able to form any other words through the relief and awe of what’s just happened.

Your hand joins mine, cupping the head together as you lean forward to kiss me. It’s salty with my sweat and tears. “You, are incredible.” You whisper, our foreheads pressed together.

In no time at all, the respite is over and I’m squirming and shifting again in your arms from an approaching contraction. Letting go of our baby’s head my hands brace against my thighs.

“Hooooo- babe, need to move…” I groan, my legs and ankles suddenly protesting against the deep squatting position.

“Do whatever you need to do, where do you want to be?” You ask, trying to second guess what I’d want but also knowing I was acting entirely on natural instinct.

I couldn’t speak, instead my hands used your torso as a ladder - lifting myself up and getting down onto my knees, my feet pointed behind me in a v-shape. I felt instantly more stable, more in, kneeling so close to the floor.

The baby was on its way, its arrival immanent, I could sense it. Some primal instinct in my very DNA unlocked. I needed less physical support while on my knees so my hands released you, instead reaching behind to unclasp my bra. In my haste to remove my final layer of clothing, I forgot where we were for a moment and it was only on seeing your raised eyebrows I realise I’d whipped my bra off and casually thrown it overboard.

~•~

I couldn’t help it. I knew instinctively that I should be looking at you, but something made me follow the trajectory of your discarded underwear as I watched it soar over the side. My eyes followed it over the edge and as I lifted myself up off my haunches back to standing, I noticed the ground was very much closer than what I had expected.

“Jimmy… what’s happening?” I bellow out to our pilot. My brain went ‘he’s fainted, we’re going to crash’ and my natural instinct was to panic, but my eyes were drawn back to you, kneeling on the ground, hands back between your legs supporting the head of our baby. I couldn’t turn and look for him. Thankfully he returned the question with his own shouted answer.

“We’re nearly there. School field is just over there.” Relieved at his response, I briefly turned my head to look at him, to look at where his hand was pointing. I followed the direction and I saw blue lights in the distance. I saw a wide open area, which was the football and athletic fields of a school. I didn’t recognise it, but I knew we were nearly down. Your bra had landed in some unfortunate persons back garden. Might be some explaining to do for the occupants later.

I heard you grunt as my attention was drawn back to you. You looked radiant, like some sort of primal goddess, nude and backlit by the sun. I saw the baby had turned and you had started to push. Your grunts were audible as you pushed your hips forward, opening up the passage for the baby, your hands gently cupping its head.

Another grunt, and the first shoulder was free. A second grunt and the second shoulder. I dashed forward and skidded to the ground, stopping just in front of you with my hands skimming the ground between your legs, and more importantly directly under the baby which was out to its torso.

And with a triumphant yell from you, it flopped down into my hands, slick, covered in vernix, remnants of blood, and flooding my hands with yet more amniotic fluid.

“You did it baby…” I’m almost shocked thinking it’s all over.

~•~

Pure relief flooded through my entire body as the baby slipped into both of our awaiting hands. My mouth was dry, my brain in shock, and I’m only able to mumble “baby… baby…” over and over as I pick up the slippery newborn and immediately bring them to my bare chest. The need to see, to hold, to nurture was completely overpowering.

When the baby made its first gurgling cry against me I thought my heart may explode. I sagged back into the floor, exhaustion taking hold, and stared at the baby in my arms. Their little scrunched up face as they cried, their tiny hands with ten little fingers, their small feet with ten tiny toes. I had to see every inch of our baby, to check they were okay, and when I readjusted them against the curves of my body I announced “It’s a girl!”

You knelt next to me in the corner of the basket, looking over my shoulder totally transfixed and enamoured with our newborn. “You did it baby, I’m so proud of you!” You cupped my head and kissed the side of my face, my cheek, my shoulder, and eventually my lips. You couldn’t stop the emotional wave washing over you at the sight of your wife and newborn daughter beside you, wrapped in your arms.

I couldn’t quite believe it was over - the baby was here. Born in the basket of a hot air balloon. I stared down at our daughter and giggled to myself.

“What is it?” You asked, not able to wipe the beaming smile off your face.

“I can’t believe she’s here. That that just happened. That I just gave birth in a bloody hot air balloon!” The stress from the situation and relief that we were all alright had turned to exhausted hysteria, I simply couldn’t help the laughter.

“I guess she just wanted to make a grand entrance into this world.” You cooed, looking down at the infant already nuzzled against my breast.

“I think she might be a little troublemaker.”

“Just like her mother then.” You teased, kissing me again.

~•~

“Hang on tight” comes a call from Jimmy giving us a few seconds of warning where I grabbed hold of you as the balloon finally touched the ground with a thump. I threw your dress over you to cover your modesty as I got up to walk over and thank Jimmy for how well he had done in outrageous circumstances.

As I saw 2 paramedics dash towards the balloon as the gas valves were cut and the balloon itself started sinking to the ground behind us, I heard you give another groan.

“Baby?” I turn and look at you.

“I don’t know… another contraction.” You replied.

I dashed over. “No, can’t be. We had scans… there was only one baby in there.”

As the first paramedic threw their bag over the side of the basket at vaulted over the top I looked at them pleading.

“I don’t know what’s happening. The baby is born but she’s still having contractions. Is something wrong?”

“Let’s take a look see and figure this out, I’m sure it’s fine” came the professional sounding reply as his partner came on board.

They knelt down and looked you over, checking over the baby and declaring that everything was ok. They took a moment to clamp the baby’s cord, and rubbed your belly a little.

“Ok my dear… this looks good. Give me a good strong push” they instructed.

I gasped “is there another in there? We didn’t know.” The stress of the day was getting to me.

“No sir. Your wife is just ready to pass the afterbirth.” As he said it, he collected the placenta from between your legs and checked it over for completeness. “Well done, looks like this is about as close to a textbook delivery as can be… you know except for flying through the air whilst doing it.”

To say I breathed a sigh of relief would be an understatement.

[velvetwyrme]

TOP FAVE READER INSERT UNDERTALE (OR ANY OTHER AU’S) FICS???? /genq /nf

>:3c

Oh you don't have to worry about forcing me. I've been wanting to do this for a while and you just gave me the perfect excuse!!!

List under the cut because it's LONG and I love to chatter.

A little note before you continue: I won't pick any PURELY explicit fics (... with a couple exceptions) since if I did, I'd be here forever

BUT fair warning that some of these will be dark, and may deal with heavy topics. Some will also have some spicy/explicit content in them, but I'll do my best to mark them accordingly! (I won't mark ones with just suggestive themes/moments, since I cant guarantee I'll catch all of them. Similarly, unless there is graphic death or gore, I won't mark it as such.)

I have also included the STATUS of each fic as such: Finished, Ongoing/Unfinished, Discontinued. Please note that unless the author specified that the fic is Discontinued or on Indefinite Hiatus, I will mark it as Ongoing/Unfinished. Oneshots are also marked as such.

ALSO for some of these fics it's been years since I last read them, so if I miss any warnings for them, that's why! As always, check the tags before reading and take care :]!!

MULTICHAPTERS

When Words Get Broken - Papyrus/Reader - Finished

Featuring: Some of the best Papyrus characterisation that I’ve read. The most unkissable kissable skeleton. If you want to know what I mean by that, go read this fic. I love him so so so dearly.  

Life Like A Ghibli Movie - Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

One of the fics ever. Broke me apart and put me together again. Lives permanently in my brain.

Vacuous Happiness - Sans/Reader - Finished

Rewired my brain. I feel like I went on a roadtrip which changed me irreversibly as a person. The same author is also writing a Firewatch inspired fic featuring UF!Sans which I’m enjoying as well :]

Thunderstruck - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

If you haven’t read Thunderstruck what are you doing. Go read it. You’ve probably already read this fic but go read it again!!!! One of my favourite portrayals of UF!Papyrus ever. Almost certainly has some amount of influence on the way I'm writing Flipping Fate.

You, Me, and Dr. G - W.D. Gaster/Reader

I love this fic so so much. *drinks it up like water*

This is part of a series that also contains fics I love; Story That Might Happen When You Date Sans (F) and Black Thumb (F), which are respectively a Sans/Reader and Asgore/Reader. Both are really good as well. This one is just my favourite out of the 3 though. The same author also wrote Just One Word (F), which is a soulmate AU Mettaton/Reader which I also enjoyed.

Teach Me How - Sans/Reader - Finished

I read this fic waaay before I realised I was somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum and hoooo boy my obsession with it when I was younger really makes sense now. Incredibly sweet, they go from hate to love, and the reader is aro/ace. It’s a little messy, but isn’t everything?

In writing this I also realised this is by the same author who wrote You, Me and Dr. G!!! >:O

Pursuit of Happiness - Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

SO good. Y'all at Rock Bottom babey!!

A Home for Mending Souls - Underfell!Skelebros/Reader - Finished

Extremely soft. Recovery/Healing fics beloved. I love the characterisation in this fic so much. Made me very emotional.

Backroads and Bad Jokes - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I love this fic so much. Sooo many scenes live rent free in my head. I won't spoil things ;] I think it takes place in the same universe as A Home for Mending Souls?

The Nebular Theory - Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

If it's not obvious already, I absolutely adore this fic. You want some REALLY good characterisation? A juicy plot that has me wishing I had the space for a red-string theory board? An attention to canon details that make me scream? Communication between characters!!!!!

READ THIS FIC.

Love? It's Complicated - Series - Finished (...?)

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes.]

I'm cheating here by linking the entire series (which is 11 fics of various levels of interconnectedness) but it's so worth it. This series tore my heart out, stomped on it, stuck it back in and gave me a sweet little kiss at the end. Several times over!! I cried like 4 times in one night while binging it!! Also this series contains one of the few OC/Canon stories that I enjoy!!

I actually read Burning Mountain first and then everything else in order and proceeded to LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND reading the first and second fics because OH. That's why the end of BM was so... OHhhhHHhhhh.........

The current fics included in the series are all finished, but I'm not sure if the author intends to come back to it in the future.

In the meantime, their other fics A Little Bit(ty) of Trouble (F) and Cold Blood, Warm Heart (O/U) have also stolen my heart. Those ALSO deal with dark, complicated topics so tread carefully and enjoy!

Bearskinner in Three Worlds - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

The plot and writing has gripped me and won’t let go. The reader goes through so much and it’s so worth it. Loooove the polyamory negotiations. I don't want to spoil anything!!! Go read it!!

Penitent Island - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Really good plot and fun interactions! By the same author as Bearskinner. Did I mention I love this author's poly negotiations?

Transmigration of the Soul - Papyrus/Reader - Finished

One of the good ol’ classics. Japes! Drama! Romance! Really good plot! Apparently optional smut according to the tags! I don't recall that but it's a thing!

The impact of this fic can still be seen in the way I view Kindness souls and how they behave lol.

When Two Tsunderes Do on A Date, Does the Void Explode - Fellswap!Sans/Reader - Finished (?)

This series is so so funny. They’re both kinda idiots. And they're both SUPER TSUNDERE. I love all the characters here so much.

My Dearly Detested Deliveryman - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

Every single one of Little_old_lady’s fics are fucking hilarious. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. This one you go through enemies to lovers with your deliveryman. Just go read it already.

Black Coffee - Swapfell!Sans/Reader - Finished

Soulmate AU!! Unbelievably silly. I love it so much. Papyrus is such a little shit here.

Pussycat, Pussycat, Where Have You Been? - Fellswap!Sans/Reader - Finished

Another banger by Little_old_lady. Both Papyrus and the reader are so dumb I love them. Also Sans is a tsundere.

There’s a snake in my bed! - Mafiafell!Sans/Reader - Finished

Sans is a wholeass dumbass in this one. He's got a snake (think Daemons from His Dark Materials/The Golden Compass) who loves to go into your room. You like the snake too :D

The Skeleton Games - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content]

He’s so pathetic in this I love it. It's far more complicated than that but hrkjsjhsgf pathetic little guy.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me A Match - Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Super heckin cute!!! I wanna give the reader a little smooch too. They are so lonely but they are making friends!!!

Dirty Laundry - Swapfell!Skelebros/Reader - Finished

THE Swapfell fic. It had me in a vice grip when I read through it the first time. And the second. And the- you get it. Brilliant characterisation and really delicious talks about developing relationships and more.

Honestly all of this author’s works are fantastic, but in particular I love Roadside Attraction (O/U), Fur a Good Time, Call… (F) and also her AU vignettes… Flotsam & Jetsam, Not So Spooky-Scary and Make Your Mark.

A Smile From the East - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I read this way back when it was still updating and it has lived in my brain since. It has everything. UF!Papyrus in all his edgy glory. Flower shop AU. Angst. Romance. It's left me hanging for like 5 years waiting for the last chapter and I encourage you to let it do the same to you.

Re-Hate-tionship - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

ENEMIES TO LOVERS!! They hate each other so so much and they WILL fuck about it. Somehow despite being very very mean to each other, they are both very sweet.

Twice a Month I Fall In Love - SwapfellPapyrus/Reader/Swap!Papyrus - Ongoing/Unfinished

I love love love this fic (I even read it again pretty recently…) SF!Papyrus and the reader swap bodies twice a month. Romance and shenanigans ensue. The reader is not the hinge in this poly! Weird things happen when you kind of want to kiss some dude you met in this other guy’s body (who you incidentally are also falling for).

Becoming Edge - Underfell!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

Not only is this fic just so so sweet, but it also sparked me to start experimenting more with my wardrobe which has made me much happier. Actually cured my depression because of that (Partly anyway!)

Paper Flowers - Sans/Reader - Finished

[Warning: INCREDIBLY SAD]

I need to read this again, but I still feel like I can wholeheartedly rec it. I still remember enough that thinking about the title makes me want to cry, so...

Just a Little Offbeat - Bitty SwapBros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Hi. Not-so-secret about me. I love bitty fics. This one in particular is really good.

Bitty Hunt - Reverse Harem/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

We all know the [Number] Skeletons and You" setup. We all know Bittybones AUS. But what if… YOU were the bitty? Who is incidentally a landlady? Lots of fun! Many shenanigans.

You all probably know this one but I still love it lol.

His Name Was Bob - Bitty Underfell!Sans/Reader - Finished

One of the OG bitty fics from my recollection. Really good!!!

Skeleton Kisses – Sans/Reader – Finished

SO heckin SWEET. You are in fact scared of him but it all works out :]

Tits and Dick – Underfell!Sans/Reader – Ongoing/Unfinished

I love them so dearly. They’re both so fucking stupid.

All the Right Moves - Dancetale!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I almost got into colourguard because of this fic. I haven't read it in a long time so I can't guarantee anything about quality/content but... I really wanted to get into colourguard after reading this.

Honey, We Bee-Long - Underswap!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

This is actually part of series but this is just the one I liked the most ;3c Pretty cute!!!!

New Home on the Range - Cowboy AU!Skelebros/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Yeehaw. I love cowboys too much not to include this. The reader is described a lil bit, but I will overlook that because I want to kiss these boys sooooo bad. Papyrus in this is such a sweetie. Also plot >:3c

Where the Daffodils Grow - Papyrus Ensemble/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Chances are, at least some percentage of you are here because you saw the comic I drew of this fic. I love it so. Reverse harem set in Underswap!!! Lets GOOO!! PAPYRUS ENSEMBLE LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!

Cash It In - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Finished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

Tumultuous soulmate AU!!!! WAH. Super super cute!!!!! UhhhhHH I FORGOT THERE'S SMUT FIRST CHAPTER BUT LISTEN OKAY I LOVE THIS FIC TOO MUCH TO NOT INCLUDE IT KAJDHJFH

Kintsugi - Underswap!Papyrus/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Explicit Content.]

I found this fic last year but APPARENTLY I left kudos on it?? Years ago???? SO I GOT TO REREAD IT FRESH. Dramatic, tense, and a really good read overall.

Panic Room – Swapfell/Reader – Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes.]

This one you really REALLY need to read the warnings, but if it interests you, hot damn is it a good story. SUPER dark but chewed through my brain like drywall. The worldbuilding is spectacular.

In the Language of Flowers – Various/Reader (???) – Ongoing/Unfinished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Themes.]

One of the pioneers of the “Reader is a Sans” tropes. Slowburn to the nth degree. Extremely dramatic, it's fantastic. Marked as (???) for the relationship because IDK what the specific ending relationships are going to be. Also technically Sans/Sans since… the reader is a Sans? It gets complicated man.

Joined at the Hip - Various/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

Another Reader is a Sans fic. Enemies to lovers except you are also kinda sharing the same body?? SIGN ME UP. Again, gets complicated with romance stuff because of it.

The Wolf - Various/Reader(?) - Ongoing/Unfinished

As always, it gets confusing when they’re sharing a body. In this one I love that they get along and have all that figured out. Mostly. They have the problems of two people mashed into one body. Plus! I love the naming structure in this one. Also, I (as a reader) am simping hard for Orion. He’s off the table in the fic because he’s Gemini’s brother but PERSONALLY, I love him.

He was Real. – Horrorswap!Sans/Reader – Finished

In which you dream of a strange skeleton and- he’s REAL OH OKAY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY HELP HIM HUH. Fun concept, very well executed.

A collection of Fables and Romances – Sans/Reader (Various) – Ongoing/Unfinished Series

As the title implies, it’s a collection of short fics! All of them are very good :]

Poor Little Meow Meow – Killer/Reader – Ongoing/Unfinished

Killer adopts cats. He’s got so many cats. And also you :>

Still Counting – Sans/Reader Series - Finished

I’m not cheating by including this entire series- it’s all one long story. And goodness gracious is it a GOOD story. It’s got [REDACTED]- well shit I guess you just gotta go read it.

thinking of you. – Underswap/Reader – Ongoing/Unfinished      

You think that Swap!Sans is a figment of your imagination, but whoop turns out he’s not!! He’s REAL babey!! Go kiss a ghost(ly skeleton) and a less than ghostly skeleton! Very cute.

Who Done It? - SpicyMobKustard/Reader - Finished

(Mafiatale!Sans/Fell!Papyrus/Reader/Fell!Sans Polycule)

The dynamics between characters are really good and it's got a solid mystery plot underscoring the developing romance :D Please note that the reader is Not the hinge in this poly- they are part of the polycule (and the only two who aren't dating are UF!Sans and UF!Papyrus, since they are related here) so if that's not your thing, don't click! If it is! Enjoy!!

R&R (Rabble & Rampallions) - Bad Sanses (plus)/Reader - Finished

This finished recently (as of writing) and it’s been such a wild ride. I want to read it again and again and again. And I will once I've let it settle in my brain more. I CRIED at the end.

Gloom & Doom All Up in Your Room - Bad Sanses/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

If you are craving more Bad Sanses content after finishing R&R… hey look there’s another brilliant fic featuring them guys. The vibe is different but still so good. Dust is very much bleeding out in your living room when you first meet him, which I feel sets the scene in terms of what sort of violence and/or gore you’ll see here.

Little Assistant - Bad Sanses/Bitty!Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

MORE Bad Sanses content. But they’ve got a bitty (you!) this time. The Star Sanses kinda accidentally suck in this, but they (or at least ONE of them) is trying to get better.

do you live with abusive skeletons? pull a power move and fuck their dad! - W.D. Gaster/Reader - Finished

Incredibly funny (and self-explanatory) title. I enjoy trope reversal and subversion >:3c

Blackcurrant - Horror Swapfell/Reader - HIATUS

Black adopts you as a pet because he doesn’t realise you are sapient. Mutt on the other hand is fully aware and thus is hostile towards you. Lots of fun :] Also very lovely art! Currently on hiatus though.

Skeleton Sisters and the Architect - Fem!Skeleharem/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

I’m so fucking gay. Girls. Holy shit. GIRLS. I am looking so respectfully. They’re all so cute and I love their names.

a full course meal - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

* Edited after note from the author! There are future installments planned 👀

A very cute series of oneshots centered around the reader and HT!Sans!!! HE’S SO BIG. WAIT THERE’S A THIRD PART I DIDN’T SEE THAT BEFORE.

Potato Soup (with a side of skeleton) - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

INCREDIBLY FUNNY PREMISE. Neither of them know how to open up but it’s somehow very endearing.

Chasing the End - Grillby/Reader - Finished

The plot had me yelling. Love some good old "before the barrier" content. We get to see baby Sans and Pap also!!!

=========================

ONESHOTS

A Unique Definition - Underswap!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

Really cute oneshot! You steal US Paps’ hoodie and it’s the cutest thing in the world.

Honeydew - Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Sweet! You meet him on a train and share honeydew it’s all very cute.

No Strings Attached - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Rewired the way I conceptualise UF!Sans. (The other fics in this series are explicit!)

Human Anatomy Fanatic - Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

[Warning: Explicit content]

Papyrus is a little freak and loves every weird and strange part of your human anatomy. Some of the sections deals (briefly) with explicit stuff, but even then, it is more focused on Papyrus being SUPER FASCINATED by how human bodies work. Somehow!! Really cute!

Pat? - Swapfell!Papyrus/Reader - Oneshot

DOGY. DOGGY MEETCUTE. Super cute!! Very embarrassing!!!! PATS!!!!!!

Emotional Drought - Bitty Horrortale!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

LONG oneshot. Very good. Prepare for complex relationships and also a delightfully open and ambiguous ending. I love this one to bits.

Soulmate of the Century - Nightmare!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

The sillies. Really silly. Super cute.

Black Coffee Isn’t Too Bitter - Swapfell!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

Black sends Chara and Mutt to tell a human he likes them. They do a spectactularly bad job at it, but someone better than when he goes in to tell them himself. It works out somehow.

Red and the Bitty - Underfell!Sans/Reader - Oneshot

The title says Bitty, but it’s Red who’s the giant. You get sacrificed to the big bad monster and he’s an ass about it. Somehow, still pretty cute.

=========================

MISC. READER INSERTS

For the non-romantic/platonic fics that are still reader inserts.

Bitty Reader Adventures -Various & Reader - Ongoing/Unfinished

THE bitty reader fic. Series of fics. Whatever. The OG!!! I used to reread these all the time and I still like em :]

Help, I've Fallen Into a Surveillance State and I Can't Get Up! - Reader is a Sans/OC, Platonic Relationships - Ongoing/Unfinished

Yes, there is one chapter so far. Yes, it is 17k words long.

I am so fucking obsessed with this fic. It’s got trope subversion, absolutely amazing worldbuilding, snappy writing, black comedy and light-hearted normalcy in the face of horrors, paired with just enough serious introspection to balance it out?? WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT. I want to eat this fic whole. Also there is lovely art ;>

Street Kitty - Platonic Reader Insert - Ongoing/Unfinished

YOU’RE A KITTY. You menace Sans. You are literally the best cat.

Pieces - Platonic Reader Insert - Ongoing/Unfinished

I need to reread this again, but this was another one that ingrained itself into my bones. You wake up as a flower (like Flowey) and you essentially turn into Frisk’s guide. Love this fic to bits.

Monsters Should Be Cute! - Bitty Sans & Reader - Finished

Pumpkin is a menace and I love him. The undefined-other-reader-dash-underling is also a great character.

Oops, I have a Naga - Naga Bitty Sans & Reader - Finished

Sweet fic !!!!! Real cute! You have a naga now! A naga with TRAUMA.

Tib and Rib – Sans & Papyrus & Reader – Ongoing/Unfinished

This one has me crying and weeping. BLASTER BOYS. On account of the power dynamics here being messed up, this is more a platonic/QPP kinda deal. They hurt so much but they are recovering!!! It updated while I was writing this! Let me go cry!!

Honey, I’m in the mafia. – Platonic Reader Insert – Ongoing/Unfinished

Hi mossy. You thought I would include the fic you wrote inspired by my own fic?? THINK AGAIN. This fic is freakin hilarious. You have to babysit Mafiafell!Sans and Papyrus who are young teens. This can only go well.

(I actually read it the other day but realised I didn't leave kudos. djfgfgkjkajsdkjsd)

Up in the Attic – Platonic Reader Insert – Ongoing/Unfinished

You’re a kid who lives in the Swapfell’s attic. They become your guardians :D

=========================

NON-READER INSERTS

You thought I was DONE? HAHAHA ha. I had to include these.

One by One – Finished

… (Knock, knock, knock)

If you need an indication as to how much I love this fic; I wrote out the last line on a blackboard and that remained on my wall for at least 5 years. It’s since been rubbed off, but I can still recite it to this day.

Cathartic AND beautiful. I've read this many times and also tried to copy-paste by hand into a word document before I realised Ao3 had a download feature.

Day to Day and One by One’s sequel, Truant similarly demolished me.

Brothers Beyond Bonedaries - Finished

Another fic which I haven’t read in years but really should. Both Sans and Papyrus are fallen humans who die and then...? Well go read it and find out ;]

How to raise your bitty - Finished (?)

Don’t have a brother? Storebought Adopted is fine! AKA. Razz (SF!Sans) gets a bitty named Slim (SF!Papyrus). I love it dearly. Again, it’s a series, so the series is technically unfinished, but each individual fic is complete.

The Planet Sanses - Ongoing/Unfinished

REALLY fun concept- what if Blue recruited the Bad Sanses to also help out when the other Star Sanses are busy. Thus the Bad Sanses become!! THE PLANET SANSES. The rest of the series is also fun- I liked the first fic, Blood Moon the most though :]!!

Remembrance - Finished

Some old-school Papyrus angst. This one is the first Undertale fic I bookmarked and thus holds an important place in my heart. Papyrus is so so so sad.

Appreciation for Honesty - Finished

AND WHAT’S THIS? MORE PAPYRUS ANGST? You can really see I was going through it back then. This one similarly broke my heart. You ever think about how many lies Papyrus is told? He does.

Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach - Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Content.]

*Deep breath* Okay so. This is pure whump. Papyrus gets hurt. He gets hurt and it gets better but oh my goodness gracious does he get hurt.

If you want to read about Papyrus getting broken (in more ways than one) then you should read this fic. If you don’t, then go read one of the other fics I’ve linked that have nicer themes. Something funny. Or cute.

The Pap Chat Logs – Finished

[Warning: Contains Dark/Heavy Content.]

Read these if you want to be SAD. These are mostly chatlogs from an old discord server (that I actually joined and never talked in) which all deal with a great amount of PAPYRUS ANGST. Please note that these talk about a lot very very heavy content. Read the tags and click away if you need to.

In particular, I’d recommend Deitale and "The Great Papyrus" is an Excellent Host- the latter has also been turned into a comic! (Which you should also read, if you haven’t already)

=========================

And there we are! I ran out of links! Not as in I don't have more fics I want to add to this list, but rather tumblr only allows you to add 100 links. Augh. Suffering.

But I don't want to end it on such an angsty note!!! SO... the only logical course of action is to link...

SAUCY FICTION!! - Finished

[Warning: EXPLICIT!!!!! Talk about dicks and boobs!!!]

The only fully explicit fic I will link here. It is the funniest thing I’ve read in my life. Also, there’s a comic of it. I never need to read anything else in my entire life ever.

Wait, there’s a sequel-

=========================

This list in theory is much longer, but I was forcibly cut short by tumblr's limit to 100 links per post. Theoretically I could do a reblog and add more, but I've already gone on long enough. Tumblr Is barely letting me save this post as is ^^"

Also, I'm terrible at remembering to bookmark fics I like, so there's probably a ton I missed!!! :( Not to mention a few have been deleted since I last went and looked :< snowflakeimagines' Meet Ugly series... I would have added you to my list if I could.

There were a bunch of "weirder" fics that didn't make the cut, but this is still a pretty comprehensive list of fics I like :]

If any of yall have recommendations... hand them over. I have gone through the entirety of the reader insert tags, but somehow I still miss things.

Thank you for reading ;3c!!

[ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask]

I told @caffeineyum and @authortobenamedlater that I would give a better explanation of why I ship Fred/Kelly. I also ended up writing up some of the key points of my reasons for shipping John/Linda. So. Here goes.

I'm going to skip past The Fall of Reach because the cast is too young for most of it to really get into the whole romantic side. However, once we hit First Strike? Hoooo boy.

First Strike

Fred/Kelly - They are thick as thieves. Just some real dummy thicc stealy boys. Kelly is shown to be acutely aware of Fred's emotional state - on the way down to the surface she both covers for Fred's faux pas with FLEETCOM as well as physically reaching out to bump him to reassure him. Throughout the Reach conflict they are always backing each other up and checking in on each other. When they get collected by Chief and Kelly takes a Fuel Rod shot for Halsey, it's Fred who carries her out and then later he sits with her for a minute and talks before they go out into the Slipstream-spaghetti mess to repair the Ascendant Justice's hull. Kelly then spends most of the novel either unconscious or kidnapped, so we don't get a whole lot more from them.

John/Linda, on the other hand, has a veritable treasure trove of shipping material in First Strike. Chief spends the entire novel pining after her and he has an honest-to-goodness dream about one of his most cherished memories of her. However, I'll let these two quotes do the heavy lifting on this explanation:

"He wanted to smile, too, but nothing much - apart from Linda - in a long time had given him cause[...]"

and

2. "They had frozen [Linda] while she'd still been in her suit. That was for the best, considering the extent of her injuries . . . but he would have given anything to see her face one last time."

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I just don't see someone saying "I would give anything to see her face one more time" about just a friend.

Ghosts of Onyx

Chief obviously doesn't appear, so John/Linda is a little sparse. However, at the end of the book Kelly asks "Do you think he's out there?" and Linda immediately and without hesitation says something like "Of course he is," because our girl is nothing if not loyal and trusting of her boyfriend's abilities.

Fred and Kelly also don't end up with a lot of time to think romantical-stylez, but they seemingly live rent free in one another's heads. When Fred realizes that he got a message from Halsey his first thought was to look for news about Kelly. Later when Kelly is in a stressful situation, she randomly thinks about the outdated phrases Fred would use to describe her dilemma.

--

Now, I realize how weak all of this is... but isn't that shipping in general? Reading waaaaaaay too far into things?

Anyhow. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

(I'm also tagging @makowrites because you've always got my back with Fred/Kelly and I love it.)

[medievildead]

for the ship opinion bingo kratos/heimdall 👉👈

HOOOO BOY SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT however you did ask for my opinion and this is my blog so you know what. I am gonna post it. And this will be the only time I talk about it.

I reeeeeally don't like kradall it creeps me out and I don't understand it at fucking all. I see people try to make Hear Me Out posts about them and AUs about them and it just makes less and less sense to me (and I KNOW this is bold ass words coming from me I KNOW) but the canon dynamic that does exist for them at no point to me ever at all in the slightest tipped me off or made me think to ship them. Never clicked.

Then again you gotta remember that I'm someone who has been autistic about Kratos since 2005 and I am so incredibly damn picky about shipping him unironically with anyone. Shipping Kratos with Heimdall knowing the kind of person Kratos is and what hes gone through to Become his new self in the norse saga just doesn't make sense. A lot of kradall I see (that isn't non/con honestly another huge reason I don't vibe with it is that a bunch of people use it as a bolt for r/pe stuff in the early moments of Ragnarok fandom) is just them in a very ooc marriage situation I can't wrap my head around. Throwing Kratos into a heavy intense relationship is dumb to me like it took him centuries to fucking get over Lysandra and then moving on to Faye and I'm expected to belive the Hear Me Out posts about why Kratos would be in a long term relationship with.... Heimdall? The guy who is a complete prick to giants? Who actively said misogynistic shit about Atreus' mom who Kratos still loves with his whole heart? And threatened to actively kill his 14 year old son? Kratos's son? Kratos who has lifelong trauma about his child dying from war? I'm not buying it im sorry. No way you cook it will convince me.

In the early points of the ships existence honestly felt to me like people who were into Heimdall just wanted to explore a crutch for brat breaking. But its just genuinley not something I'm into. I'm a firm believer of ship and let ship as long as its harmless and for the most part it is! It's people having fun but it's not for me and never, ever ever will be no matter what and there is a reason I don't talk about it on this blog.

I've been in this fandom a long time and let me say Kratos x Heimdall reminds me a lot of when GoW3 came out and people started shipping and writing tons of Kratos x Hermes dubcon stuff for the sole reason of yaoi fujoshi people wanted to fetishize the gay male power dynamic. Its like I honestly feel some people see a big muscular man and a smaller effeminate man and are like "oh I need to make one a submissive girl" like again I know its just words and pictures on a screen but I have been here long enough to be Very Tired of seeing my sexuality get used as a fetish tool sjshskdnks

And. And ill be honest. And this is petty and trust me this is literally just me and my opinion but I cannot fucking stress how utterly confused and flabbergasted because FREYR IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. HE IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. BLATANTLY INTO KRATOS, A COMPLETE KIND SWEETHEART FULL OF LOVE, EXACTLY THE KIND OF GUY THAT WOULD SHOW KRATOS A GOOD TIME AND HAS AN ADORABLE ONSCREEN DYNAMIC THAT DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO BE AU'd OR CHANGED TO MAKE SENSE AND THIS FANDOM DOES NOTHING WITH IT. I see so many AUs where Heimdall survives to get with Kratos and valid but you know what??? I am gonna be angry, WHERE ARE MY FREYR LIVES AUs. WHERE ARE MY AUs WHERE FREYR LIVES AND GETS KRATOS ASCENDED ON THAT VANAHEIM ZA???????

LIKE FORREAL. I honestly feel like this fandom gets so blindsided by Heimdall and wanting to put him in situations and hell I'm guilty of it too, but I have genuinley met GoW Heimdall likers that straight up forgot Freyr existed and it shocks me. I don't get it!!!!!!

Theres a reason I ship Heimdall x Hermes together and its because their individual dynamics are so unbelievably compatible and I like to explore that. But I get people wanting something more realistic in universe as a muse. When it does come to shipping Heimdall with someone else in canon that makes absolute dynamic sense to me, I gotta be honest, Heimdall x Gná is the only "heimdall gets a dom" pairing that I can realistically get behind. Since they both would actually like each other despite being hated by all their peers for their devotion to Odin. Is it healthy? No, but Kradall isn't exactly peaches and cream either. So we work with what we got babey!!!!

[pickleandthequeen]

Training 11: it’s not much further. Only three furlongs, maybe. I don’t want to hope, but I can feel it pumping through me.

The beach was a throng of chaos, a sea of colors in both horse coats and jockey silks. Marimo pawed the beach, striking out with his right fore, neck arched as he kicked sand into the air. There were cappail on either side of them, screaming and keening for the sea, being pulled in circles while their riders cursed and shook bells in their mounts’ ears.

Evvy shushed her stallion and stroked his neck, tracing E’s and M’s on his crest. She whispered to him as a rosy gray mare hip checked him. Marimo squealed and skittered sideways, nearly into another stallion. The chestnut snapped at him, and Marimo pinned his black ears and swung a kick at him. Evvy swore and pulled him back.

“Easy, easy, hoooo, back.”

“Havin’ trouble?” Someone shouted, and she recognized the voice as Cameron, the so-called cowboy. She cursed again and steered her cappal away, hoping he wouldn’t follow. “What’s wrong, not findin’ the cappail uisce so tame without your bribes?!” His pronunciation was awful, even for a tourist.

“Mo, over here,” Evvy whispered, and asked him to trot towards the sea. “Heeeeeeasy.” She chanced a glance over her shoulder, and exhaled a sigh of relief that Cameron apparently didn’t trust his own stallion, so creatively named “Texas” near the water.

The water lapped at his fetlocks, and he dropped his head down, snorting at the waves. Evvy reached forward and ran her hand down his neck, poll to withers. She hummed a half forgotten lullaby and scratched his withers, before taking a chunk of his mane and twirling it between the fingers of her left hand. She paused to spit into her hand before returning to the twirling, then started tying knots - three, then seven, and again three. He took a deep breath that lifted his back several inches and exhaled seafoam.

It was nearly time.

“There’s an entire rack of lamb for you waiting with Rosalie, Mo. We just need to cross the finish line.”

“Riders! Line up!”

Water horses jostled and screamed, rearing and prancing and leaping as their riders jockeyed for position at the starting lines.

Evvy, focused on her horse, sung softly to him, and thumbed a treat from her pocket.

Pop pop, for standing still, for minding her suggestions, for not allowing the other cappail to goad him into a fight.

His long ears laid back against his head and he reached around to snatch the slice of raw bacon she offered. His ears immediately pricked and he shook himself mightily, sea damp mane slapping his neck and her face.

“Are you ready, now?” Evvy shifted in the saddle, checking its balance - too late now to fix even a loose girth, but it barely shifted. She gathered her reins, and waited. Most of the cappail on the beach reared and plunged, although some were still, tame and calm. Cameron’s stallion, also a plain bay, was one that stood quiet. Quiet, she thought, but not calm. His water horse was held by a heavy iron bit with long shanks, and she could see the blood bay stallion shaking.

“Riders, line up!”

Evvy closed her eyes, and asked Marimo to leg yield out of the water and closer to the rest of the horses.

He pranced on the sand, and tossed his head, but he stayed light in her hands.

And then the race began.

Marimo leapt forward with an explosion of sand and surf, in his customary half rear, half leap. He hit the ground galloping, and Evvy pushed her hands forward to avoid catching him in the mouth.

If the chaos before the race was bad, this was unfathomable. It wasn’t three seconds of running before two cappail had thrown their riders and made beelines for the ocean. The rose grey mare from earlier nearly knocked them over as she bounded across the beach for freedom. Evvy caught a glimpse of her white rimmed eye as the mare wheeled to avoid hitting them. She herself screamed and squeezed her calves against Mo’s sides, and he obliged.

She knew from watching the trainings that she wanted to keep Mo away from any huddles, any packs. She knew she could trust him ankle deep in the water, and that it wouldn’t slow him too much, but that the other horses would be fighting to get into the sea.

Evvy crouched low over his neck, keeping a steady hold on the reins, following his head. Marimo’s black ears were roving around, flat back, then flicking forward, sideways.

“Steady,” she called, and eased him off his speed, save it. Save him. He listened, and she thanked him, sneaking a hand up his crest and stroking him. He flicked an ear in acknowledgment.

There were a dozen or so horses ahead of them, running straight, more or less. That was fine. Marimo’s ears pricked and he started to speed himself, but she asked him to hold, and he did.

She popped lips, and his ears waggled.

Evvy checked over her shoulder. There were a few horses fighting behind them, more had shed their riders, but not all the newly liberated cappail were content to return to the sea. She swallowed as she caught a glimpse of two cappail uisce fighting over the body of a man.

But a blood bay cappal with a long shanked iron bit was gaining on them. The cappal’s eyes were wide and white rimmed, its nostrils wrinkled and mouth gaping against the bit.

Cameron and Texas.

Texas didn’t want to run straight, he zigzagged over the sands and roared around the metal in his mouth. Cameron jerked him hard in the mouth, back towards the chalk cliffs.

Evvy turned back to look ahead.

She checked Mo away from the surf.

Three furlongs? Maybe. She could feel Marimo beginning to either bore or tire, feel his skin begin to have a tackiness to it where her wrists touched him. He pulled towards the sea, and she could hear his blood humming through his veins.

She dropped the seaside rein and drew a letter, an E, then a M, on his crest.

His ears shifted, and he felt horselike again.

She pressed her calves to his sides and whispered, and Mo leaped forward, his legs beating the sandy surf, sending a spray of maddening sea water into their faces. He made a manic noise, tossing his head again in a snakish manner, but put on a burst of speed.

There was a whoop behind them, and she chanced another glance under her arm.

Texas careened over the sand, impossibly fast despite his inability to move in a straight line. Cameron whipped the horse’s flanks, sweat like seafoam lathering on the horse’s neck and chest. His eyes were sea wild and his teeth sharp.

“Mo, we gotta move!”

Texas did not look under control. He did not look tame. He did not look like a horse.

Marimo passed a horse, a chestnut mare. There were five ahead. The finish line drew closer. He was beginning to labor, and she whispered to him her gratitude. It was okay, he didn’t have to win, he didn’t have to give any more than he wanted. As long as they crossed the finish line in one piece.

His ears pinned, and he snapped at a steel gray who shrieked and tried to bite him, but Marimo stretched out his neck and charged. Evvy hissed and grabbed mane further up his neck.

Texas and Cameron flew up on their island side, the blood bay cappal’s fearsome jaw cranked open as he fought the bit. The cappal was driven half-mad between the November sea and the bit in his mouth. So close now, Evvy could see it was not only heavy and iron but also a slow, squared twist with a segunda port trapping the horse’s tongue. The cappal was far too close, she shouldn’t be able to see his cruel bitting choice so intimately. Texas snatched at Marimo but her stallion squealed and skittered sideways before his teeth could make contact. She was nearly unseated but saved herself, grabbing mane.

“You’re alright, thank you,” she gasped, sucking wind, and the two shot forward again, past Cameron and Texas. The blood bay had reached his limit and was running sideways, head in the air with his neck and back inverted. Threatening to rear and to flip. Evvy shuddered and whispered again to her horse. His breath was a roar but he charged forward, and overtook a chestnut, a palomino on the inside, his hooves sending up a spray of water, and she held only the buckle and a handful of mane to steady herself, letting her cappal run.

For a moment, all she could hear was the wind rushing over her ears, feel the burning of salty air in her eyes - or maybe it was tears. Then the world came screaming into focus. Marimo slowed to a trot, then a walk, and she leaned forward despite herself and hugged his neck. He was hot and sweaty and his skin tacky with November Magic, but he shook himself and turned his head to sniff at her pockets, his lips curling back over his teeth. She gently nudged his head away and sat up, but pulled a strip of raw meat from an inside pocket of her jacket.

Evvy scanned the cliffs for Rosalie, who waited with Marimo’s promised rack of lamb. She nudged him forward, away from the finish line as the other remaining pairs crossed.

********

TBC in the last little epilogue piece

@thescorpioracesfestival

[whataboutmyfries]

Challenge

Yall I was so nervous writing this cause (as we all know) I dont often write spicy things but hoooo boy did I have fun writing this one >:)))) written for prompt number 11 of the fictional kisses prompt list! As usual, unbetaed by anyone that isnt me, so any errors are mine :)

enjoy!

11. a kiss in which, ''we're late for work but let's be later''

~

….Too much love drives a man insane

You broke my will 

But what a thrill

Goodness gracious great balls of fire

Homicidal ideations weren’t exactly how Remus planned to start his day, but here they were, with Remus having to count to ten in order to not strangle his loving husband of five years. 

“Sirius Alphard Lupin Black you better turn that off right this second or so help me god—” 

“Mmph” 

Remus turned around to a faceful of sun-warm skin and a luscious head of hair snuggling up to him, an arm groping around on the nightstand to turn the godforsaken alarm before Remus did something of the…illegal nature. 

“Morning moony,” 

Remus gaped at the head pillowed on his chest, “Morning moons?!? After waking me up at the—frankly ungodly— hour of," Remus checked his own phone, “seven thirty, you have the audacity to ‘morning moony’ me?” 

Sirius shifted, blinking up at Remus through sleep-heavy lashes. 

“Mmmm, let me make it up to you darling.” 

Remus would’ve been lying if he’d said that those words coming out of Sirius’s mouth didn’t do funny things to his insides. He’d also be lying if he said his voice didn’t quaver a little with anticipation when he said,

“Oh?” 

Sirius’s brow quirked at that, heat flooding his gaze as he shifted further up Remus’s body so they were eye to eye, suddenly more awake than he'd been a second ago.

“Would you like that, oh moony mine?” 

Remus swallowed as Sirius’s thumb traced the swell of his lip, his breath leaving him in a rush when Sirius leaned in to press a kiss just off the corner of his mouth. 

“Yes.” 

Sirius smirked, running a hand up Remus’s bare torso, finding a home in his unruly curls.

“Well then, your wish is my command sweetheart.” 

Remus had barely sucked in a breath when Sirius surged forward, capturing his lips in a slow, filthy kiss, licking into his mouth as he shifted his weight to lie fully atop Remus. Remus revelled in the familiar press of his husband’s body on his, every ridge and dip so lovingly known and worshipped for so many years that Sirius’s body had become a prayer unto itself. 

Remus groaned into the kiss, holding Sirius’s mouth to his by the hands he’d tangled in Sirius’s sleep-mussed waves. His hips shifted of their own accord, rolling up where he could feel Sirius’s erection pressed against his hip. Sirius gasped, pulling away to rest his forehead against Remus’s as he ground down, the friction making the both of them moan, grasping at each other in the soft sunlight. 

“Moons, moons, slow down or this is going to be over far too quickly.” 

Remus huffed a laugh, a little bit breathless, a lot in love.

“Stamina wearing away in your old age, Black?” 

Sirius met Remus’s eye, winking at him. 

“Oh darling, I’m just getting started.”

Sirius tipped his head forward to lick a stripe down Remus’s neck, sucking a constellation of bruises into the space where his neck met his shoulder, slipping lower lower, lower, leaving hot, filthy kisses down Remus’s torso until he was nuzzling at the soft flannel of Remus’s pyjamas. 

Sirius looked up at his gasping, writhing, mess of a husband, standing down at him with awe and adoration. 

“Can I?” 

“Sirius if you don’t take my pants off right now I’m going to jump out the window” 

Sirius smothered a laugh against Remus’s waistband, squeezing his sides as he looked back at him. 

“Big, bad, wolf like you could probably take the drop, y’know?” 

Remus groaned, dropping his head back on the pillows, “Sirius.” 

Sirius chuckled at the longing in Remus’s voice even as he slowly—so slowly—tugged Remus’s (frankly sinful) pyjamas off, dropping a flurry of kisses on his—what did James call them? — come gutters. Sirius left a pretty trail of bruises down Remus’s hips as he nosed closer to the base of his cock. 

Remus let out a low, rumbling, groan; his hands shaking ever so slightly in Sirius’s hair as he tried, in vain, to not buck into his husband’s touch. Sirius dropped his head on the juncture of Remus’s hip and thigh, leisurely stroking Remus’s dick, revelling in the choked gasps the motion elicited. 

“Sirius please.” 

Sirius just hummed, pressing one last kiss to the soft skin of Remus’s waistline before he took Remus into his mouth, smiling a little at the strangled gasp Remus made, his fingers tightening in Sirius’s hair. 

“Oh my god, Sirius” 

Sirius hummed again, the vibration making Remus’s cock twitch in his mouth as Sirius hollowed out his cheeks, sucking him in deeper, flicking at his nipples as he did so. 

Remus moaned so loud Sirius would’ve worried about the neighbours—if they had any. He savoured every gasp and moan spilling out of Remus’s mouth, dragging his tongue across the head of his cock, the way he knew Remus loved sucking harder and—

He was rudely interrupted by Remus’s phone balring out some random default ringtone. 

Remus, now hazy-eyed and sweat-slick, reached around to look for his phone, swiping to turn the alarm off before he looked back down at Sirius—who’d faltered for all of a second before going back to his ministrations. 

“Sirius—ah—Sirius, we’re going to be late—ohmygoddon’tstop—for work” 

Sirius paused and met Remus’s gaze, cocking his brow in an outright challenge as if to say, are you really that worried about skipping a day of work for this moony darling? Would you rather I get up right now and leave you debauched and wanting on our bed? 

And how could Remus back down from that? 

He frantically pulled Sirius up to capture his mouth in a heated kiss, shoving Sirius’s sweatpants out of the way to tug at his dick, swallowing Sirius’s gasp. He ducked lower, sucking bruises on the hinge of Sirius’s jaw, every vibration of Sirius’s throat sending a pulse straight to his cock. He felt Sirius’s breath against his ear as he reached down to wrap his hand around Remus’s cock and his own, the friction of their cocks rubbing together sending tingles up his spine. 

Remus wrapped a leg around Sirius’s hip, tugging him closer as their breath became more frantic, the thrust of their hips becoming more erratic. 

“Sirius—oh god—Sirius I’m so close” 

“Come for me Re, come with me” 

Remus let go with a loud groan, smothering the sound in Sirius’s shoulder, feeling Sirius’s body tense against his as he spilled stripes of white across Remus’s chest and stomach. 

Remus huffed a laugh when Sirius flopped half on top of Remus, stroking a hand gently through his husband’s sweaty hair. 

“Gross, Now we’re both covered in come.” 

Sirius laughed, kissing Remus’s bicep as he turned to meet Remus’s gaze. 

“Look at you mister Lupin Black, skipping work to have sex with your husband, how scandalous”

Remus just raised an eyebrow in reply.

“Well alright, not sex per se, but scandalous ever the same.” 

“I love it when you do scandalous things to me, Pads.” 

“Mmmmm right back at ya moony mine, you being scandalous is my kryptonite”

Remus grinned, mischief twinkling in his eyes as he flipped their positions in one swift move, smiling down at a sex-hazy Sirius. 

“Now that can be arranged, darling”

[serendictment]

December Books

Merry Christmas, I don't celebrate, here's what I read. I'm so tired.

1. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

6/10. I absolutely didn't hate it, but it's a very heavy book and I just wasn't in the right mind set to be reading it (it was for a class). I hope to someday be able to pick it up and appreciate it fully and the message is has of. . . I don't know if I can say because I'm not sure how tumblr is with certain things. I implore everyone to look into this book and, if it interests you, pick up your own copy and read it.

2. Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami

8.5/10. Sooo,,not as bad as I thought it would be based on what I've heard other people say? I have nothing really else to say but it feels like a lot of people over-hyped not only his writing/works as a whole, but also how poorly he writes women? There were definitely some parts where I was like yeesh, calm down, but as a whole it wasn't the worst writing I've ever read. I quite enjoyed it even.

3-4. PJO - BotL and TLO by Rick Riordan

No rating, these were rereads because of The Chalice of the Gods..

5. The Chalice of the Gods by Rick Riordan

11/10. HOOOO. As a long time Percy Jackson fan (first introduced in 5th grade and am currently a freshman in college), this book just. . .wow. The way percy had to go on a quest for his recommendation letter from Ganymede was oddly relatable as that's what it felt like when I had to get recommendation letters for college. Also, GANYMEDE! I love his story in a sad way, so seeing him be a major part of this story, and also how his trauma was portrayed was great! Sad, ofc, because it's trauma and sad in general, but I still enjoyed seeing one of my favorite stories represented. Also, seeing Percy deal with anxiety and the moments apeaking about trauma in general felt so real to me. Although I can't relate to what Percy has been through, I can say that I've been my own fair share of trauma and it's comforting to see this be represented in a character and not just "oh, yeah, this terrible thing happened but it's whatever." I don't want to go on and on forever (I absolutely could), so I'll leave this off with I can't wait for the next book! (And the show because although it came out six days ago (writing this on 12.26.23) I still have yet to watch it)

6. Chainsaw Man volume 13

8/10. No comment, just enjoyed it. Asa my love<3

[starlitangels]

* looks at space pirate and bustard warrior series'*

Me: I'm scared to touch those.

Do you mind explaining the overall plot of both series'?

Hoooo boy. That's a hefty task.

I'm sorry, Ryn, I don't have the energy to do this the same way I just did Cataclysm

So, as far as I'm aware, most of GB's stories take place in the same universe, but all over the timeline. It's all vaguely sci-fi with some fantasy elements thrown in where all the characters insist that magic isn't real

So... Space Pirates is a long series. The two seasons' overarching plot is "Listener Character [nicknamed 'Paradise'] contracts a space ship of space pirates to help them deliver a package to the ship's captain's surrogate Dad who disappeared 15 years ago and no one knows where he is so we gotta figure out how to find him first" and lots of space-themed shenanigans ensue. Including getting sucked into a black hole at one point. Along the way, the ship's captain (Yargwynn) falls in love with Paradise (which is when the nickname starts) and after the package is delivered and some hearts are broken and mended, Yargwynn and Paradise retire from the adventurous life, get married, and have two sons.

Space Pirates has some heavy moments but for the most part is lighthearted and Yargwynn definitely deflects with humor so he usually seems like the character trope of "never takes anything seriously" but he does, in fact, take a lot of things seriously. He just also happens to be really funny and I love him

One thing I will note is that for most of the series, Paradise was gender-neutral, except at the end of the story where the they/them pronouns suddenly shifted to she/her which was kinda confusing at first

Alright...

The Bastard Warrior series is pretty short in comparison, but it's ongoing so I don't know the whole plot yet

The basics are "An Enemies-to-Lovers where the Listener character [nicknamed 'Faithful'] is a 'sister paladin' (essentially a nun) who tends to a temple, meets Albus (who is a 'born out of wedlock' bastard, not just 'a jerk' bastard), and contracts him to kill her brother while she comes with him" and along the way they kidnap Albus' half-brother Devlin "Vinny" York, who is an artificer of sorts, Albus finds out that Faithful's brother is trying to kill a child who's prophesied to be a god-killer, so Faithful wants Albus to kill her brother so she can rescue the child and run away and get off-world. And in the most recent episode Albus confesses that he's got feelings for Faithful right before passing out while Vinny is getting possessed by the demon that's been stalking and taunting Albus off-and-on throughout the series

This one is also pretty funny but there's a lot of strong language and mildly awkward sexual one-liners from Albus if you're more reserved like me and some heavier themes so yeah I don't blame you for not wanting to listen to it

That said I still like Albus and Vinny as characters, Faithful's tsundere is well-balanced to not be annoying, and also @gwenifred's character art for the thumbnails is top tier 10/10

[dragonmuse]

Well, while you're on a roll... Charlie? Less populated, but greater distribution! Would all of them perform an intervention on May Be Bad and Wake Myself, or would some of them be jealous and want a tell all?

I think we really only have three Charlies, right? *checks notes* Four, he does show up in She Says Love, so we'll make it an even battle.

Pool side, plastic chairs settled in a too close circle. Arrayed behind Mainverse is the suggestion of a dozen other chairs, other Charlies who never make it on screen, but may live in shades between these four.

There is a definite two on two air to the whole thing.

Mainverse *has the agenda*: So.

She Says Love: Can we just put it on the table? Because those two do not look like us.

Mainverse: Yeah, okay, what the hell is up with this?

Mainverse and She Says Love are dressed in distinctly relaxed clothing. Loose shorts, worn t-shirts. Wake Myself and May Be Bad are in tailored, expensive looks with a lot more care taken with their still close cut hair. Maybe Be Bad is in gray, Wake Myself is in deep jewel tones and has on a hint of eyeliner.

May Be Bad: *heavy judgement* I think we just have taste.

Wake Myself: We haven't been in college for four years, what is with the look?

Mainverse: It's comfortable.

Wake Myself: It's embarrassing, is what it is. Unless that's Iz's shirt. I do like to steal those.

May Be Bad: ....that's an option? Got to get on that.

She Says Love: Why would you be stealing Izzy's clothes? He's like six inches shorter than us.

Wake Myself: Husband privileges.

The other three go silent.

Wake Myself: What?

Mainverse: You...you're married to Izzy?

Wake Myself: You're not?

May Be Bad: I'm pretty sure Lucius would make my balls into a necklace, holy shit dude. *holds up hand for a high five which Wake Myself confusingly gives him*

Wake Myself: I mean, angel likes to hang with us?

Mainverse: ANGEL?! I'm going to hyperventilate.

May Be Bad: Angel is....ironic, I'm guessing? Or are we talking old school shock and awe kind of angel. Lucifer maybe.

Wake Myself: No? Izzy just calls me demon, so we call Luc angel cause he's sweeter than us?

May Be Bad: *slumps back in chair* that's....what the fuck are WE like that Lucius is the angel?

Wake Myself: Just a horny post-doc.

Mainverse: I mean same, but I didn't marry my childhood crush that's like thirty years older than me.

Wake Myself: Twenty.

Mainverse: *checks paper* Huh. okay. STILL

May Be Bad: Oh, if you don't like that you're gonna HATE me. *giggles*

The other three turn to him, observing this laugh and then give each other concerned looks.

Mainverse: oookay, who didn't make it into therapy?

May Be Bad: Why would we do therapy?

She Says Love: hoooo boy.

Mainverse: The sad empty void and the occasional bursts of rage? Those don't alarm you ever?

May Be Bad: That's just normal.

Wake Myself: Ooooh wow. Dude. Dude.

She Says Love: Doesn't it make it hard to function?

May Be Bad: Hell no. I'm motivated. Gotta make sure Jim and Luc have everything thing they need.

Mainverse: Jim?

May Be Bad: Uh huh. Sometimes Jim more than Luc honestly. Luc is technically harder to please, but Jim gives harder critique.

She Says Love: You are...not in a phd program, are you? Like Luc and Jim aren't some bizzaro world advisers?

May Be Bad: I'm in security consulting. *sharp grin*

Mainverse: Oh shit.

Wake Myself: Are we a criminal? Like a real one? I mean I break laws sometimes, but I'm not in the mob!

May Be Bad: It's not the mob. It's a business.

Mainverse: ....it's totally the mob.

She Says Love: So mobby. Does Dad know? He'd flip a shit.

May Be Bad: He's dead.

Wake Myself: Huh. I mean that's one way to resolve the Daddy issues. It's clean.

Mainverse: *visibly upset alon with She Says Love* what? What happened?

May Be Bad: *shifty* I don't know. He just disappeared or whatever when I was like nine.

Mainverse: Oh fuck, Eddy must be devastated.

May Be Bad:....never met them? Was that the person Dad was gonna hook up with before they bounced on him?

She Says Love: oooh I hate all of this. What the fuck?

Mainverse: Okay, okay, so obviously we can see where your shit jumped the tracks. And you, *gestures at Wake Myself* are just all wrong age wise. But uh... I guess I have one question.

Wake Myself: He's amazing in bed.

May Be Bad: Yeah, I get my spine melted on the reg. And don't get started on Luc.

Wake Myself: Two of them together?

*they make knowing eye contact*

Mainverse: ...I so badly want to be grossed out by this. But I kind of just want to know.

She Says Love: Same.

*so this all devolves into extremely pornographic descriptions, so they don't have to address the fact that May Be Bad is clearly completely morally comprimised. Charlies being excellent at repression manage this entirely. They all wake up horny, but also kind of sad.*

[koontyme]

Me again!

AO3 Wrapped Ask Meme: 11, 23, 29

11. What podfic took you the longest to make?

Definitely ‘Syzygy‘! It is 6 hr and 13 min and it defnitely took more than double that for recording, editing, etc.

23. Did you do any collabs?

Yes, my one and only so far! ‘A (Marriage) Research Proposal‘ where I voiced Jiang Yanli.

29. Favorite line/passage you recorded?

Oooh got asked this one on Twitter and I couldn’t decide on just one. So the first is a funny passage from ‘The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known‘. Loved getting to record LWJ’s lust confession haha.

And the second is an angsty line from ‘the fair and the brave and the good must die‘. Basically voicing these angsty lines where WWX is a resentful ghost and isn’t pulling any punches hurt but I love trying to convey emotions, especially heavy ones and hoooo boy did this fic have that.

[lv-iceprince]

Wren is so pretty wtf, and OH AN AUSSIE?! Me, who unfortunately (ill explain if needed) who lived in perth and saw first hand a huntsmen dead drop and almost met god herself. 😥 shout out to the only spider who has ever truthfully scared the life out of me🥹 youre a real one.

AND YES WERE FRIENDS NOW PLZ, if you ever come into my ask box YOURE getting your own tag, because i said so. 👹 and dude im a seungmin ult with CHANNIE BOI, my sweet lil channie as a HEAVY wrecker. Skz is the only BG i stan, im a GG simp🤒

And im so excited plz send a ambulance bc i HAVE MY LIST READY, im a planner gworlie so i PROMISE ill be more prepared next time🫡❤️‍🔥

Man my nicknames are endless. I have more names then I have friends 🥲 My real name is Tyeesha but my nicknames are Ty, Tish, Joy, Joybells, Wren and Eden. I'm just greedy and want all the names. And man don't get me started on huntsmen, I had one crawl up my leg and I've had one sit on my hand and not move until I screamed. At least you're brave, I am a pussy, I will always be a pussy.

AND I AM SPEEDWALKING TO THAT FUCKING INBOX LIKE I GIVE NO SHITS. and man let me get all rizzfull, I get a twinkle in my eyes for Seungmin ults and Chan ults or Chan wreckers. I love your dominance. And honestly I... okay.... Don't take this seriously but I like that kpop dick. I am such a boy group stan but there are girl groups who I would do anything for.

I was going to offer to be the one driving the ambulance but are we fucking kidding me? I cannot drive for shit and I am lowkey blind as a bat so no way, we will both need an ambulance at the end of the night.

And don't worry gworlie, you can be a mess and I will take your requests in a heartbeat.😍

And hell I love to just brag about my biases like it proves anythings.

Felix ult as fuck, But in spirit I stan Hyunjin and Changbin still but hoooo fucking boy. I saw SKZ family yesterday and I have never been wrecked harder by daddy Han. So I think I finally got what the Han girlies have been putting down.

[shhhsecretsideblog]

I thought of the unthinkable in that moment. What I was about to do would cause you more pain on top of the labor and ring of fire that would take you soon.

This wasn't the romantic or intimate birth either of us had imagined, but it was the one we were having. We're an hour away from making the descent and this is my last resort. The small pushes you were giving slowly increased in strength as your body took the reigns of the birth of our baby. The counter pressure I provided was the only thing slowing it down. Your entire body heaves between the short reprieves, the quickly tightens and shakes with resistance

"Your doing so well, babe. You're being so strong," I kiss you on the cheek and hold your hand tight.

You barely respond in anything more than a muted moan as you lose another struggle to your body demanding strong pushes. The head is filling your canal to the point I can feel your crotch bulge against my hand.

"Need...out..." You say through barely parted lips. Your sweat soaked shirt twists with your belly. "It stings, oh babe it burns. I-I-"

Your voice slips into a silent weep.

I grit my teeth and look away from your struggling body. I cup my hand around the small sliver of the crown. This baby wasn't going to be born on this plane if I could help it.

Each contraction unravels you further, yet I keep my hand steady to hold our baby in. I can't let your whimpering undo me now when we've come so far.

I continue to hold it there as the plane begins to come to life with activity and your begging becomes more audible. The descent is about to begin.

[Part I] [Part II]

I could barely breathe, barely think. Everything was on fire… stretching, burning, squeezing. I wanted to throw up; I wanted fresh air; I wanted to push, but I wanted to keep this baby in until we landed… My wants didn’t matter though, this baby, our baby, was working on their own schedule.

The lights in the aircraft came on and crew began their routine checks throughout the cabin, getting the plane ready to land.

“You’re doing so well sweetheart. Just half an hour to go until we land.” You whisper softly in my ear.

“I c-can’t do it…” I sob, my sweaty hair falling across my face. “H-hurts… so b-bad… mnnnghh… is the baby nearly o-out?”

I don’t notice the hesitation in your voice when you assure me the baby is not nearly out and that we have plenty of time. It certainly didn’t feel like it…. My eyes were watering with the pain, I’d been pushing so hard, I don’t know how the baby wasn’t crowning by now. I would have moved my hands to feel but they were gripped so tight on each arm rest I daren’t let go, it was the only thing keeping me semi-grounded and held off my screaming.

“We need to put your seatbelt back on honey.” You said fearfully. “And put your chair back upright.”

“You can’t be- hoooo- serious! I’m trying not to have a baby here and you wanna mnnnghh move me?!” I grit through my teeth.

“Yes, we’re so close, nearly home. Just a little bit longer I promise.” You say gently. “Are you having a contraction or can I move my hand? You can’t push when my hand isn’t there okay?”

“Ooooh okay, yeah go - do it.” I panted.

Moving the chair was easy enough but the time it took to get the seatbelt over my heavy swell another contraction was already happening.

“Mnnnnnnghhh gotta-pushhhhh!” I grunted, my body contorting as it pushed the baby further out and I felt it reach a full crown.

“No babe don’t!” You tried to say but my chin was already on my chest, hair falling over my face, as I pushed again with all my strength.

“Is everything alright?” Came the voice of an air steward from the aisle.

With my head dipped it wasn’t obvious I was a woman deep in labour and actively pushing, so it was easy for you to assure the crew member everything was fine and that I was just a little tired and unwell.

Despite my pushing the baby stayed at full crown, stuck by the tight denim of my shorts. I pushed and grunted again, gasping for breath and begging you to help me.

[kingdomoftyto]

Hahahaha I’ve been trying to keep this laptop from hitting its memory cap for probably like a year now (I can count the number of non-essential programs installed on one hand, and they’re all small: Steam, two <300MB games... that’s about it tbh) and I think I’ve finally reached a point where I have no choice but to give in and take it to a computer store to see if they can find a way to help

I think the problem is that Windows is trying to cram the latest Windows 10 update onto whatever the previous operating system was (Windows 8 presumably?), and both OS can’t fit on the computer at the same time? At least I hope that’s all it is, because if not then this laptop is just completely obsolete and I guess it’s done for...

[thegrandlinesimp]

Hi!! Ahh! I’m so excited for this event. I love your stuff so much

Gender: Afab

Pace: carnal!

Character (provide 2): (this was tough lol) Law & Kid!

Thank you so much!! I hope everything with the surgery goes well! ❤️❤️

I have seen you lurking on my Kid content, my dear

Hoooo I went feral with this one! I saw 'Kid' and 'carnal' and nothing else mattered. I spun the wheel, got my all time favourite position (triggers my breeding kink link nothing else, lord have mercy on me), then I think I blacked out and suddenly two pages were written 😅

And thank you so very much for the well wishes!

Word count: 1.1k+

Warning: One use of ‘slut’ and ‘c**t’, overstimulation, 69

Line's 200 Followers Event: Carnal or Tender

Eustass Kid, Carnal: Doggy Style

The door to the captain’s cabin was locked tight and laying in a heap just inside was his prized cloak, the beginning of a trail of clothing that led further into the room. His vest, a shirt which had a bra immediately dumped on top, two sets of shoes kicked off in varying directions along with socks, followed by pants and underwear, the last of which lay beside the bed on the floor.

Kid hadn’t even bothered to take off his metal arm before he lay back, tossed his welding goggles away and manhandled you to sit on his face so you were facing the same way as him, lips quick to latch onto your already engorged clit. You keened, grinding down as his tongue poked at your entrance and thrust inside.

“Fucking hell,” you gasped, laying down as you hooked your hair behind your ears.

You grasped his cock in one hand, earning you a muffled moan from between your legs and a buck from his hips. With your other hand you reached down to roll his sac in your palm and poked your tongue out to lick up the bead of precum that had gathered at the tip.

Kid pulled away for all of a second to groan as he bucked again in your grasp, “Shit yes!”

You took the reprieve from the onslaught of pleasure to quickly wet your lips and take the head of his thick dick into your mouth. He moaned, thighs tensing and cock throbbing in your mouth before shoving his face back between the warmth of your thighs. You braced your toes above his head on either side to effectively hump and grind down against his face. His tongue was wild between your folds, lapping up your juices like a man starved and sucking on your clit hash enough to press it to his teeth. All the while you were bobbing your head on his cock, hand stroking what you couldn’t take without choking as the other massaged his heavy balls, moaning at the way he ate you out.

Suddenly he pulled away, panting, “Fucking- on your hands and knees, gorgeous,” he growled as he slapped your ass with his flesh hand, making you gasp as you pulled off him.

Body eager for more, you were quick to crawl forward til your calves were on either side of his, lifting your hips and pressing your chest to the bed as you looked over your shoulder and wiggled your ass.

“C’mon, Kid,” you whined, pussy aching for his thick cock to fill it, “don’t make me wait.”

“What a needy slut.” Kid chuckled, sitting up and rearranging himself so he was kneeling between your spread legs.

His metal hand came to rest on your hip while with the other thrust two fingers into your soaked core. Your gasp morphed into a moan as his hand set a quick pace, fingers curling perfectly to mercilessly rub your g-spot.

Kid leaned over you with his metal hand on the bed, dwarfing your body with his wide, muscular frame, his hot breath caressing your ear as he spoke, voice surprisingly affectionate for the rough treatment he was giving you, “Guess I’m lucky I’m the only guy who can keep up with your insatiable cunt.”

You moaned, rocking back onto his fingers, chasing your high as the wet, sloppy sounds of your pussy getting fingered filled the room.

“K-Kid, I’m-” you could feel the coil in your gut tightening, so close to the point of no return.

Without warning he pulled his fingers out and just a second later you felt the delicious stretch of his cock entering you. You cried out, loud and desperate as your walls spasmed around his hard length, there was a choked groan behind you as Kid slammed his hips forward, completely burying himself inside you.

“Kid,” was all you could gasp as your body trembled, hips bucking back only to hump against his, soft gasps and ‘oh’s falling from your lips.

He was kind enough to let you come down from your high before starting a languid pace, his thick length dragging against the walls of your overstimulated pussy, making you moan and cry out as you rocked back.

“So fucking needy,” he panted, snapping his hips forward and starting up the rough pace your body had been craving.

“Oh god, right there!” you whined as his cock grounded against the bundle of nerves inside you while simultaneously bumping against your cervix.

You arched and moaned, squirming beneath you as your body hurtled towards its second orgasm. Kid groaned as your walls clenched around him once more, but he didn’t stop. If anything he redoubled his efforts, balls swinging to nudge your clit as his hips slapped against your ass. He bent over you, flesh hand on your hip while the metal one took his weight on the mattress as he began to rut into your drenched pussy.

“C’mon babe,” he growled right next to your ear, the hand on your hip slid between your legs and rolled your clit in slow circles, a harsh contrast to the pace he fucked you with, “I know you got one more in ya,” he was grunting by now, hips beginning to lose their rhythm.

You whimpered, pussy fluttering around his thick cock weakly at his words and he groaned, pressing his forehead between your shoulder blades, the sweat on his brow mixing with that on your back.

“C’mon, c’mon, I know you wanna, so do it,” he was beginning to babble, something he only did when he was on the verge on coming, but he refused to do so without pulling you over with him, “I know you wanna come, so do it for me, c’mon, gorgeous, come for me, come for your captain, come for me, c’mon, come!”

You let out a choked moan, arching and bucking beneath him as you came, walls gripping his cock like a vice as your mouth hung open and the only sounds that came out were gurgled moans and gasps.

“Oh fuck yes,” Kid snarled through clenched teeth as he ground into you, barely able to move from how hard your pussy gripped him, “that’s it, that’s it, fuck, yes!”

You felt him twitch and throb inside you as he moaned and grunted, the second he could move better he pulled out slowly before thrusting back in, each snap of his hips followed by a thick spurt of cum and a shaky groan.

Eventually your ears stopped pounding, slowly the world came back into focus and after a while your breaths evened out, body no longer screaming for air. With a light shudder and a sigh Kid pulled his softened length from your core, rolling to the side and falling on his back with a groan.

You followed suit, slumping onto your side so you were facing him, he turned his head to smirk at you and you returned it.

“Five minute breather, then round two, Captain?”

Kid looked back to the ceiling, a lopsided grin on his face as he laughed, “Fucking hell, I love you babe.”

[taelonsamada]

@0o-starboy-o0 asked me to do another small rant about Imp!Damien, and I think that’s a good idea, considering how much I’m villanizing him in Return to Shore X3 this is gonna be even longer than the hux one, buckle up.

So the Imperium version of Damien is…. Hoooo boy, he’s a lot… the audio starts off with him giving a grand speech to the crowd, as he’s just recently been crowned King-Imperial, after his mother passed away. His mother was a well loved leader, strong and powerful. The youngest member of the Ruling Council, and a Humanborn. You can tell by the way he talks about her how proud he is of her, and of his lineage.

And he makes reference to those who are opposed to his taking the throne, because the ruler before his mother died without an heir, which allowed her to take the throne, and many felt that they should continue that standard, that they should have gotten to choose a new leader like they had with his mother, rather than handing the throne to him. Plus, he isn’t Humanborn, and having a Humanborn leader allowed a new perspective, something he lacks since he’s not. Others feel he’s too young. So he’s starting his ruling with heavy opposition.

After this grand speech he gives, he leaves to meet up with his freshly appointed Royal Consort, our poor sweet Angel. He’s exhausted, and is venting to them about the stress of the day, and dealing with people questioning him. Which is fair, you can tell it’s a lot, because he IS young, and these are massive shoes that he’s got to fill. He asks them how their day was, and remarks about how if anyone gives them shit, to report it. We learn as he speaks that his taking an Unempowered as a Consort is yet another source of contention that he’s caused, but he doesn’t care, because he loves them, and wants them at his side.

And the more they talk, the more you realize that Angel is having second thoughts about this union, because they’re worried about the impact it’s going to have. Which is fair, that’s a valid concern. They’re trying to put the good of the kingdom ahead of their feelings.

This of course upsets Damien, because he adores them, and he’s broken countless customs to do this. We also learn that they grew up together, so their bond is likely very strong. We also learn that they’ve spent ages talking about what Damien would do when he ruled, how he would fix things for the unempowered, give them a voice. But now he’s telling Angel that stuff like that isn’t possible right now, that they need to let it go. And we all know how stubborn Angel is.

This devolves into a worse and worse argument until Damien actually uses magic to paralyze them in order to shut them up, drags them into the bed and curls up with them, to ‘remind them how good it feels to be in each other’s arms, to remember that this is all that matters’. He literally says he would burn the Imperium itself down for them, he loves Angel very much. To a very unhealthy level.

All in all, Damien has been reskinned as more of a yandere than a tsundere. It’s a lot. And the reason for this change, unlike Hux, is pretty clear. It’s the weight of being expected to rule, while trying to cling to the one thing that makes you happy. Amongst all of the storm and turmoil that is him trying to live up to his mother, Angel is his anchor, his safe place. And now they’re saying they feel like it would be better if they left him. If he ruled with someone else.

This is obviously devastating to him. And he reacts the only way he knows how. With a burst of temper, a demand to acquiesce to what he wants. After all, he’s the Prince-Turned-King. What he wants, he gets.

Imperium!Damien still has the desire to change the world the way Canon!Damien does. The difference is, he now has the actual power to enact such change, and that power has gone to his head.