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alottiegoingon · 4 months

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talking to the trees

lottie matthews x gn!reader

summary: the one where lottie's visions are getting worse.

warnings: wilderness based, implied mental illness, established relationship but doesn't really matter, angsty ending?, not proofread

lottie’s visions were worsening, and you were unsure how to help her. not only were they more frequent, but she also started acting unaware of everything around her.

sometimes she'd go silent, not uttering a single word for days and even weeks. you had to bring her food daily or else she'd stare at the trees and forget about taking care of herself.

being extremely careful, you place your hand on her shoulder, rubbing digitals on her skin through her clothes in a caress. "lottie, you need to eat. look, mari made us soup," you murmured, holding a steaming bowl.

the only way to make lottie to eat lately was to tell her that mari was the one who made the food. mari was responsible for dinner every night and lottie wouldn't eat anybody else's food. it was getting quite hard to convince her every day.

especially considering the fact that mari had died a while ago and lottie, lost in her own little world, were too absent to notice. well, she knew—she just didn’t want to acknowledge it.

"soup?" lottie's faint voice echoed yours, finally realizing that you were there. rarely did anything distract her from the strange symbols in the trees.

you watched as her eyes, dull and unfocused, flickered slightly at the mention of mari. it was a small victory, one you held on to desperately. lottie took the bowl with trembling hands, sipping the soup with a faraway look. you sat beside her, the cold ground pressing through your thin clothes, trying to offer her warmth with your presence.

it was freezing outside but, somehow, it was the only place she felt safe and you didn't want to make anything worse than already was.

"hey, lot, do you remember the night we all sat around the campfire on the first day? when laura lee said that we crashed because she called her piano teacher a cunt?" you asked softly, hoping to draw her out, even if just for a moment.

it was a funny memory overall. everyone was terrified but yet, that one time brought a momentarily relief to everyone.

lottie paused, her eyes briefly flickering with recognition before the fog settled back in. she nodded faintly, lips threatening to curl up, but her gaze remained distant. it was as if she was here, yet not here at all. you sighed, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you.

𖠋

days turned into weeks, and lottie's situation only worsened. the forest around you seemed to close in, the shadows growing longer and darker and winter was only getting started. you knew you had to do something, but every day felt like a losing battle.

one particularly cold night, you wrapped lottie in your arms, trying to keep her warm. everyone else was sleeping around the weak fire, but she was shivering even under all the clothes. sitting by her side, you were determined to make her sleep at least a few hours.

"aren't you sleepy?" you whispered, holding her tighter. if it wasn't for the fire, your only source of light, you'd barely be able to see her.

completely focused on the light and intrigued by the crackling noises, lottie finally said something, her voice a broken whisper, "do you think they're watching us?"

"who?" appreciating the fact that you were finally hearing her voice after days, you didn't mind her ignoring your question. definitely wasn't sleepy but very much tired.

"they don't want us to leave," she murmured, her eyes reflecting the flickering flames. "i can feel them… always watching, waiting."

you swallowed hard, trying to keep your voice tender. "lottie, no one's watching us. it's just you, me and the girls. we're safe here. i promise."

but she shook her head, a haunted look in her eyes. "no, you don't understand. they're always watching. they won't let me go."

you didn't know who she was referring to, but nodded either way, hoping to calm her fears. how could you ever push her away or call her crazy in this cirscunstance?

"we'll be okay, lottie. i won't let anything happen to you." she fell silent again, staring into the fire, back to get lost in her thoughts.

"hey, don't worry," you give her shoulder a gentle bump to hopefully catch her attention, "if they ever try to get you, i'll throw a ball in their face like nat did to shauna that one time."

lottie let out a small, almost imperceptible chuckle. it was a sound you had missed, a tiny beacon of hope. "that was funny," she whispered, her voice still distant but a bit lighter.

𖠋

it took lottie several extra hours to fall asleep, while you managed only two or three hours at best, always alert and prepared to comfort her if necessary. you knew the other girls were there, but she didn’t trust them enough. neither did you, honestly. they were always gentle with her, of course, but you preferred to take care of her yourself.

still groggy, you jumped up from the makeshift bed on the ground, finding lottie in the lake. everything below her knees was submerged in the icy water, and the sight made you panic. rushing toward her, you stopped at the edge before the water could touch your skin.

“lottie, it’s too cold to swim now,” you exclaimed, your words punctuated by the splashing of your feet in the shallow water. “can you come back, please?”

for a moment, she didn't respond, her gaze fixed on the tranquil surface of the lake. then, slowly, she turned to face you, her expression distant yet strangely calm.

"it's okay," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "the water feels nice."

your heart clenched at her words but you knew you had to be there for her when she needed you most. taking a deep breath, you waded into the water towards her, your hand outstretched in a silent invitation. "come on, let's go back inside," you said gently, your voice was a soothing presence in the stillness of the very silent morning. "we can change clothes and have breakfast together."

“inside?” she stopped following your steps, the frigid water stinging your skin. looking back, you saw her confusion.

"it's warmer in there. you are freezing here, baby, and your clothes are all wet," you explain, holding her hand.

"fire," she frowns, "remember?"

right. the cabin had been burned to the ground months ago. how did you forget that?

"it's alright. we can find some other place."

"but the girls?" she asked immediately, searching around. you noticed her muscles tensing.

"they're in there already," you promised, being cautious when placing a kiss on lottie's cheek. "come on."

"is mari cooking breakfast there?" still wary, lottie rooted herself to the ground, grasping your hand before you could continue walking.

"she is, sweetheart."

“mom and dad too?” for the first time in weeks, lottie was mentioning her parents again. god, you hated them. what kind of people would abandon their own daughter in a different country like that? yes, they paid for it but yet—

“i’ll give them another call.”

𖠋

a soft knock on the door broke stirred you from your thoughts. there stark, white walls of the psychiatric ward came back into focus. lottie still slept soundly, her head nestled on your shoulder. finally, a full night’s rest.

you look at the door as lottie's usual nurse stepped in, giving you a sympathetic smile. "how is she today?"

you glanced down at lottie, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. “improving,” you replied softly. “she’s slept through the night.”

the middle-aged woman nodded, looking pleased. "that's good to hear. keep talking to her. it seems to help."

“i will,” you assured her. you never missed a day without visiting lottie, even booking the nearest hotel just to be close. spending days and nights with her was routine now, something her parents’ money afforded her. “any word from them?” you asked, shifting the conversation.

“not yet,” she exhales, glancing momentarily at lottie still asleep while clinging to your arm. “but i’m sure they’ll visit her soon,” she tries to cheer you up.

"and let's try to keep her out of the water fountain again," she adds with a gentle laugh, mentioning yesterday’s situation. "we don't want her to catch a cold now."

it could be freezing cold in switzerland’s winter.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 10 months

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I feel like Gangle needs a close friend,so can I request Gangle being bestfriends with and being protected by a Intimidating and large Y/n who is the same species the Gloink(i think that’s how it’s spelled? :0) Queen is?..like this large monster creature being friends with this silly alive mask and string makes my day,i hope you have a nice Day! ^^

Thank you! Hope you have a nice day too!

Also for anyone 21+ take a shot every time you see the word "Gloink" in this fic /j

........

As if Gangle's day wasn't already bad enough...some Gloinks appeared out of nowhere and stole her comedy mask.

She was rightfully upset, especially as she recalls Caine casually mentioning that those pesky shapes tend to run wild from time to time throughout the digital circus.

That was also an indication that something else was creating new Gloinks. Not the Queen, as she became abstracted, but another creature like it.

Much to Gangle's dismay, nobody wanted to help her retrieve her beloved mask considering what happened during the first "Gather the Gloinks" adventure. All the performers--Zooble especially--preferred staying away from the nest at all costs.

Yet she couldn't.

Jax made a passing comment that she didn't have the guts to go down there by herself....and that gave her enough motivation to do exactly that.

She was done being so afraid.

Knowing the Gloink Queen was gone did give her some peace of mind, albeit not a whole lot. For all she knew, something far worse could have taken up residence in her place..

But nevertheless, she bravely descended the escalators, bidding a momentary farewell to the safety of the above-ground section of the circus-

Only to have instant regrets as a growl resounded through the dark cave, echoing off the gem-embedded walls.

She squeaked in fear, wanting to run back upstairs and forget about this whole thing...but she forced herself to press on, looking around at all the Gloinks who were seemingly minding their own business.

She could always take the easy way out: hiding in her room, accepting her old mask is gone forever, and crafting a new mask in its place.

Not today, though.

Today she was going to prove Jax wrong and become the bravest-

"Waahh!!" Nearly tripping over a Gloink, Gangle skidded to a stop and watched a mini parade of them bouncing towards something, the line leader carrying her mask.

She could only freeze in terror upon realizing that "something" was you:

Another monster similar to the Gloink Queen--with different colors and patterns and half as many eyes. You looked utterly terrifying as you slithered around, checking on some newly-produced Gloinks.

'Okay, maybe they won't see me...get it together, Gangle!!' Huffing, she shook her head, trying to hype herself up. 'You'll be fine. Just be firm and tell them you want-'

"A nongloinkian..made of strings? Interesting."

"Eek!!" She flinched, seeing every single one of your eyes staring down at her. You didn't seem angry at her intrusion, but she was utterly terrified right now.

"Come here. I won't bite." Your voice rumbled, and she had no choice but to listen to you...lest she suffered the same fate as Zooble.

Tears dripped from her tragedy mask as her legs shakily carried her closer to you, noticing some Gloinks hobbling behind her in case she thought about turning back.

There was no escaping you now.

'Oh god, this is where I die...or turn into a Gloink forever. Does anyone realize I'm gone? Would they even care if I-?'

"My Gloinks love to steal everything in sight, but I believe they wrongfully took something of yours."

"H-Huh?" Confused, Gangle looked to see the line leader approaching her with something she treasured more than all of her anime drawings and manga.

Her comedy mask.

"You're...not going to eat it?" She picked it up, not finding a single chip or crack in the ceramic texture. Then she gazed back up at you. "Thank you, but I um...thought you guys hated anyone who wasn't a Gloink.."

".....oh, uh...not me." You shook your head. "It's the queen who did. She thought everything had to be Gloink. I wanted us all to live in harmony. I tried to persuade her...but she never budged. I thought we had enough Gloinks to go around...but she was never satisfied. So with her gone, you have nothing to fear."

"I see..th-thank you again." With a meek nod, Gangle put her mask back on, which took effective almost immediately as she grinned and hopped in place. "You are too kind! How could I ever repay you o'mighty Gloink?"

You blinked, feeling flattered by her compliment. "You may call me [y/n]...for some reason, it's a name I hold near and dear to me. I'm not expecting any repayments, but...I do wish for a small change."

"Like what?"

"Maybe...seeing the upstairs? This nest gets lonely even with all these Gloinks to keep me company. But I could use a real friend." You gazed back down at her. "And I can tell you need one, too."

Once again, you've surprised her..as she stopped jumping and thought about your request for a few moments. "That would be nice..a real friend. I could talk to Caine and see about getting you upstairs. Maybe you can meet my um..fellow performers at dinner?"

Your eyes lit up. "You mean that?"

"I do! But you must promise not to steal any of Zooble's parts."

"I promise you that...um...."

"Oh! I'm Gangle, by the way." She chuckled.

"Gangle....Gangle..." You took a few moments to register the name into your brain, before your toothy smile returned. "Very well, then..go."

.........

"Gangle? Making friends? That's as impossible as finding an exit."

"Is it an NPC? Or someone absent from today's musical number?"

"Do they like insects??"

"Guys, guys..don't worry. They're really friendly!" Gangle smiled at the other performers as they all gathered around the dinner table. She had gotten such a huge confidence boost ever since her meeting with you, and she was excited to introduce them to you!

Yet the more they pressed about this matter, the more nervous she became.

Even with her comedy mask still on, anxiety was seeping through as she rubber her ribbon hands together. "So um..just as a heads up, they're big so don't be scared if-"

"How big are we talking?" Zooble raised an eyebrow. "It's not some giant monster from one of those anime things you watch, is it?"

"No, but-"

"Hello, colorful cast of nongloinkians."

All at once, everybody fell silent upon seeing you rounding the corner, your large snakelike body slinking towards the table.

You had just enough room to squeeze your head between Gangle and Pomni--the former smiling and patting your snout in greeting, and the latter looking absolutely horrified.

"U-Um..Gangle.." She stuttered. "You do realize this is-"

"Oh don't worry, Pomni. This is [y/n]. They're nothing like the Gloink Queen. They just wanted to coexist with us, but it was hard when they were down in that cave all alone...so Caine allowed them to come upstairs!" The ribbon beamed proudly.

Everyone was certainly caught off-guard by her optimistic attitude, given they haven't seen her wear that mask in a long time. But a few smiled, glad to see her genuinely happy.

Although of course..the moment was short-lived.

"...pfft haha! Are you kidding me, Gangs? You just got yourself a big ol' pet!"

You and the others looked at Jax, who was shaking his head and kicking his feet back onto the table. "Man, you must feel really lonely to find a friend in something like that."

"Jax, that's very rude." Ragatha warned. "Gangle did nothing to you. Why are you always picking on her?"

"I mean..it's cool she tamed a giant Gloink. It could bring something new to our adventures...but I think she forgot the part where these things despise everyone who's not like-"

"Sure, little rabbit..go ahead and talk as if I'm not here.."

Tensing for a moment, Jax's gaze darted to your hostile glare. "You don't scare me, ya know....but you sure are scaring the rest of my pals." He jerked a thumb towards the trembling Kinger and Pomni, as well as the concerned Ragatha and Zooble.

You paid no mind to them, however.

"Oh, but you should be scared of me the most, rabbit." You sneered lowly, making yourself look bigger as you continued staring him down. "If what your doll friend says is true...then heed this warning: if you dare upset my new friend Gangle, you will face the wrath of my Gloinks. We will not turn you into Gloink, but we will ensure every precious item you hold dearly is consumed to make more Gloinks who will watch your every move. You will not eat nor sleep without feeling our presence all around. And we will take...and take...and TAKE until you have nothing left but those silly overalls. Are we clear?"

There was a long pause as Jax froze in his seat, for once looking genuinely terrified of your threat..although when he realized everyone else was staring, too, he brushed off the fear he felt. "Yeah sure..whatever you say, [y/n]." He then checked his imaginary watch, standing up. "I got a hot date somewhere so.....c'ya."

And with that he dashed off, leaving a cloud of bunny-shaped dust in his wake.

"Good riddance.." You huffed as you curled around his chair, looking to Gangle. "Was that good? Was I intimidating enough?"

"....y-yeah.."

"Oh no, what's wrong?" Concern flashed over your face upon seeing her tearing up. "I didn't mean to frighten you, I'm-"

"N-No..these are..happy tears.." Sniffling, she wiped the blue marks off her ceramic cheeks, giving you a big smile of reassurance. "Thank you for defending me.."

"...you're welcome." You smiled back in relief, glancing at the other performers. "Well..I hope I didn't make any of you nongloinkians lose your appetites. Eat."

"W-Well..we don't exactly need to eat." Kinger muttered. "This food's just for show. For simulation!"

"Ah, I see.."

"Can you promise your Gloink buddies won't try kidnapping me again?" Zooble asked, fidgeting with her pincher hand. "That was f---ing hell to go through....but by all means take Jax if you want. Nobody will miss him."

"Dualy noted." Nodding, you looked back at Gangle, who gave you a thumbs-up (or at least, the best thumbs-up she could muster given her ribbons), and you suddenly felt extremely welcomed by everyone here.

It was nice to finally leave the nest.

#clanask #anonymous #tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #tadc gangle #gangle x reader #tadc gangle x reader #monster reader #tadc gloinks #platonic

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ask-funnybunnydoll · 5 months

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Hi!

I think I have to move on.

You may have noticed that all of a sudden my posts have become less and less frequent. That's not on purpose I simply don't have the motivation to keep this ask blog going. I made this blog at the peak of my TADC hyperfixation because I knew it would give me the boost to work. At the start I made like, what? 2 a day, wowzas! Then it became like every other day posts. It's not that I don't enjoy the blog, the ship, the asks. Hell, the asks were the best part of this, I love just seeing what you guys come up with for these three and I get to do the even more fun part of drawing the answer.

But I still have no motivation to keep this going. And I have fixated on something else if you follow my main.

So, thank you for being here and still liking my posts even if I hadn't posted often. This was the most fun I've had and being my first ask blog I ever created just makes it more important to me.

I probably won't ever revive this blog but I'll keep it open for you. And if you want to see what the story I originally planned out was gonna be then check below the cut! Or if you wanna stay curious and theorize then just scroll by. Thank you again, hope ya have a great day and year. I hope my shit was at least okay to you.

I'm not gonna lie. Most of the stuff was just created along the way of drawing. I was like, huh this would be cool let's add that in. And ofc I didn't get to any juicy lore in this but it would've been rushed because I didn't plan beforehand... which you probably could tell xd

For Pomni, here's the plot twist: she's dead and her conscience was updated into the game to keep her somewhat alive. She worked in the place that created the game, she even took part in putting people in there. The entire game was just an expirement to test if immortality was possible, but of course.. everyone goes insane in there so they have to keep on and keep on trying with more and more people to get anywhere. They wait until someone goes to edge of absolute insanity and that's when they take them out of the game, their bodies are still kept alive and they go back to normal. They forget everything that happened while in the game. For Pomni she died just after her conscience was converted to the game, for others they were forced to go while alive. Who killed Pomni? Well, her boss, the head of the experimentation. Why? Idk 😭

For Jax, I gave him a dark story. He was isolated in his home and kept away from the outside world, which is why he lacks empathy, because he simply doesn't know how to feel that way when he never really had knowledge of emotions outside or even inside his home. His father was emotionally and physically ab4sive so.. that didn't help. He latched onto his mother the most but they never saw eachother often. That's all I had for him in mind.

For Ragatha, she lived in the country on her own land with her husband. Yup! She had a husband and a daughter too. Husband was a total jerk and she couldn't leave because she didn't want their kid to experience separated parents. She's a doll in the game because it resembles the doll she made for her daughter.

I also had some plot that I made up in my mind. Like.... Pomni at the end would be the last one alone in the digital circus. That being since she's dead she would just be yknow. Dead if she left the game. Jax and Ragatha leave but only because Pomni forces them. Again don't know how, I probably would have made it up while I went along with the story. So, Pomni is just there alone, with Caine. And she lives like that for eternity. She doesn't go insane anymore and it isn't as lonely as it used to feel like. It would feel like home kind of. But she would be there, longing for her partners forever unless she decides one day to just. Yknow, die..

Also since Jax and Ragatha would forget everything after they leave the game, they just don't remember they were in a relationship and would live their lives like before. Sad and lonely.

Goodness, I forget I make the most sad stories ever sometimes 😭

#thank you #anyway who wants to go get angel food cake 😍😍

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jariten · 4 months

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April 2024 Roundup

A little delayed but I will try to keep it short. Did some quick catch up on stand alones and made some progress on various series. But I couldn't resist the siren call of the anthologies so I just have to mention those.

Dragon Quest The Adventure of Dai I was really delighted to see licensed but when it dropped I forgot about it.... Or had to put it off for money reasons, I forget. But with a sweet discount code I finally grabbed all 5 volumes of part 1: Disciples of Avan starring the plucky Dai who was raised by monsters freed from the control of the evil lord who was defeated by the Hero and his party. Riku Sanjo's art also goes really well with Akira Toriyama's monster designs while overall having an identity of its own. With a story unique from the games it doesn't just feel like a quick buck manga tie on the game series but a representative work in RPG style fantasy manga from the 1980s and a great read for anyone who wants to be more familiar with manga from that decadeUnfortunately only 5 of 25 volumes of this edition are out for reasons Viz has not publicly disclosed so I will refrain from speculating. But it was comforting to know that Viz's release isn't the only international edition in limbo. Hopefully something gets worked out in the near future.

Okinawa by Susumu Higa also had a long and rocky path to the store shelves. I pre-ordered it I think in 2019 then that was cancelled, then the translation got a digital release then the print version was back on then, finally, in 2023 I saw it in stores. Finally read it and its a great companion to Shigeru Mizuki's Onward Towards Our Noble Deaths as a wartime criticism of the Japanese army, while the second part serving as a commentary and look into the recent history of Okinawa as a region still existing under soft occupation of the United States army.

Megami Tachi to (With Goddesses) is an anthology of stories written by Katsuo Kawai adapted by various female manga artists. I'm not familiar with his work so I won't go on to describe his style and oeuvre but the involvement of Yamaji Ebine made me want to check it out (her story is about a woman put in charge of taking care of a shrine and its kami, which turns out to be the bare empty basement of an apartment complex). I really liked the variety of stories taking place across various time periods and locations and how each manga artist's own individual styles stood out with the absurdist scripts. And to keep to the collaborative spirit while making his own contribution Kawai himself drew a story based on a script by movie director Satoko Yokohama about the day in the life of an old actor. Was also delighted to find out this collection contained the pro debut work of Yuriko Hara, who'd go on to make Cocoon Entwined!

Wakaba no Rhapsody is a companion to Hana to Waltz, two anthologies highlighting the new talents in the magazines Asuka and Aokishi. The big name draw is Kaoru Mori but I was very impressed by the artistic prowess of all the featured artists, whose impact was heightened by the HUGE trim size of the volumes. Featured in both volumes was Akira Shouno whose one shot collection Good Night Field I read last year and was very fascinated by. Especially the recurring immortal vampire and the yukionna he regularly visits. Really hoping the rest of the featured artists get their own one shot collection in the near future, but while waiting for those I might check out some of their long form series.

#recommendation corner #roundup #my scans #the links lead to the anilist so you can check out each involved artist!

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burstinn · 11 months

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So like here's information about my everything before I go back and do my shit

I will come back here and keep on editing shit if I forget or remember some stuff

WHO AM I?

You don't neeta know allat heh

Pronouns? any, I am non binary

Name? Go for username

Age? I'd like to keep that private

Hobbies? Drawing (Traditional, Digital), Bracelet making, singing, writing stories, hoarding, reading.. Etc. Etc.

WHO DO I WRITE FOR?

Male

Ftm ( I'll try)

Gender Neutral

Non binary reader

- Will write Dom! Top reader, Sub!Bottom reader, Dom!Bottom reader,Sub!Top reader if requested

- specify if bottom/ top or sub! Top/ Dom! Bottom or bla bla My mind will automatically go bottom sub.

-Readers with different body types and personalities requested or not.

(Example: reader with asthma, ADHD or depression; Reader with chubby body types, thin, tall etc etc; also readers with hooked noses, freckles, or deeply scarred faces i.e burnt, slashes etc etc)

WHAT DO I WRITE?

Fluff

NSFW (need to practice this)

SFW

Angst (just need to practice as well)

Romance

Non-romance/ neutral relationships

Tropes (i.e. One bed, One sided, will they won't they)

Headcanons

One shots yes

Series? Not sure.. Maybe not.

WHAT I WON'T WRITE

x female readers.. Sorry ya have enough content.

Pedophilia

Incest

Ageplay

Uh real people? I noticed when I read stories with real people in the title I get real uncomfortable.. But with characters in a movie I'm okay with it like idk.. Maybe Stu and Billy, etc. Etc. YOU GET IT RIGHT??

Anything I consider.. Uncomfortable?

Depends on my mood.

+++ more later.

WHY DO I WRITE?

Want more x male reader content.. And I'm losing stuff to read :(

For Gits and Shiggles

Wanna fix on my writing skills and how I write stories

Just decided to one day. Maybe I'll write on Ao3 or not.

WHAT FANDOMS DO I WRITE FOR?

Call of Duty

Slashers (Dbd, horror flicks, etc etc.)

Creepypasta

BlabblllaaaaANY

Any requested fandoms.

I will write mostly Cod until requested to write something else.

FREQUENCY HOW I WRITE STORIES/ REQUEST?

Again depends on my mood

Not really organized when in my mood or my schedule

I'll try to write as much as possible tho, though I always prioritize requests first.

But requests by whom I write for first are not organized (ex. I will write a request before yours even if you requested 1st..no hate on you. It's just that the others are more quick to write. And sometimes I have no idea how to start or finish) hope you understand

I'm very lazy and unmotivated so you'll have to wait awhile mb

#call of duty x male reader #call of duty modern warfare x male reader #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #gay #cod mw2 x male reader #x male reader #x gn reader #ftm reader #slasher x male reader #slashers x gn reader #slashers x reader #profile thing #about myself #about me #about my blog

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thatbloke · 2 months

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For months I've been watching you, learning your routines, your habits, biding my time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. One night you forget to close the window, or maybe you leave it open on purpose, as you go to bed, and I know, my moment has come.

Quietly I enter your flat, making damn sure I don't make a noise and accidentally wake you. I see you lying on your bed, eyes closed, breathing calmly. You look like you're having a nice dream. I approach your bed, the digital clock on the bedside table reads just past midnight, and that's when I hear you moan. I grin to myself. You're having that kind of dream, I knew already what a desperate little slut you were. You never had any visitors, but you sure did finger your cunt every day.

Carefully I climb onto the bed. You don't seem to notice, too engrossed in your dream. You don't even notice when I draw the blanket back and pull your already soaked panties down. It's the only clothing you wear to bed, but I already knew that.

I don't waste much time and shove my cock into your tight cunt, groaning as I feel myself gradually stretching you open as I slide deeper. You wake with a start, how could you not? But before you can cry out my large hand covers your mouth. You realise what's happening to you and you begin to thrash around, but you're too weak and your futile attempts only turn me on more as I pound into your wet cunt.

You feel a fire building in your stomach and against your will a quiet moan spills from your lips. Horrified, you hope I haven't heard it, but nothing gets past me. I laugh.

"You're so wet," I groan and thrust even deeper. After your first few moans I take my hand from your mouth and slip a finger in. Your desperate tongue curls around it and you lick and suck, wishing it were my cock.

My other hand is gripping your hip so hard it'll bruise, but the pain is delicious and with a shout you cum harder than you ever did before. I use that chance to add a second finger into your mouth.

I continue slamming into you, drawing more and more noises from you and you can't help it and cum again shortly after. I feel as you contract around my cock as you whimper and drool, but this feels too good. This is everything you ever wanted.

I remove my finger from your mouth and wrap my hand around your throat where I squeeze gently and with every hard thrust, I increase my hold on your throat, slowly cutting off your air. You begin to feel light-headed, your pulse is beating violently beneath my palm. You should be horrified. I could end you, instead you find it thrilling, exciting and cum for a third time.

The air is leaving your lungs, but I haven't let go yet. As you ride out your orgasm, you begin to struggle and writhe around. Your delicate small fingers wrap around my wrist, but my eyes are cold and I refuse to let you breathe. Just as you feel yourself passing out from the lack of oxygen, I lessen my grip for just a fraction of an inch and you take in all the air I allow into your lungs with a choked gasp.

It's hot, seeing the blood rush back into your head, your skin turning from pallid to flushed, your eyes all unfocused. It's becoming too much for you, but I don't seem to come to an end and keep fucking your cunt. My hand moves down your body, I pinch nipples, scrape over your tummy, dig my nails into your hips. Then I reach your clit.

Rubbing it hard and fast, you feel your fourth orgasm building. It's painful to you and you squirm and whimper, begging me to stop, but you know I won't.

You cum again, tears running down your cheeks as you whimper "Please stop" over and over again. Your body aches and trembles, fighting the pleasure that shakes it to its core. I feel you tighten around me even more as I shoot thick hot ropes of my cum into you, but I keep thrusting, making damn sure my cum gets pushed up into your womb and stays there. After all, you're my breeding hole now, so I have to make sure you're filled up proper.

#c0cksleeve #cnc rough #c0ckwh0re #c0ckslut #cvmdump #cvmslvt #cvm wh0re #cnc k!nk #r4p3 kink #r4p3 fantasy #r4p3play #stupid slvt #dumb wh0re #dumb slvt #fuck doll #breathplay #br33d1ng #cnc somno

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kaledya · 2 months

Note

Annnw that was so sweet ! What the hell 🌸🌸 Very adorable and in a same time a bit worried ? I hope you are okay ! And I'm glad our discussion make you happy and you look forward to read chapters ! But... be okay please ? I mean I wish your unhappiness won't last !

By the way I always im happy to read your answer or even laugh at what we create ! Its very cool !

In dont underestimate myself, but I keep my myself in check. Modesty is a good partner in crime 🤣

I didn't know for IbisPaintX ! I never draw digitally and haven't a tablet ! But I could try one day this technique ! *screen what you said to remember* thank you !!

And when I gift you or gift you back remember its a GIFT, giving back is not obligatory and should not be forced. I don't draw to have something back. It make me happy, sure, but talking is a gift too for exemple. Its my way to say thank you in better way than just words 🌸 okay ?

Care for yourself first and I will be right here on the side. Your performance of doing anything or nothing will not affect how I see you as an artist, or myself as a follower.

You deserve it or I would not draw it, I assure you 🌸🌸

Its nice to see you like differents fanfics ! Its better even. I don't read fanfics myself, never had, BUT I left some nice comment under his work. _

Twilight was a ride. But I was watching for the actor who played Jacob, at the time. I'm almost not sorry ahah. _

Oh interesting! I didn't know about Cain being like prisoner of his own life somewhere. That is sad ! I imagine him kind of insane with that description !

Its past 200 now ! So I will definitely draw Verdelet in maid outfit !!

It will be fun. *me just caring about the historically outfit*

And for Hürrem, I mean I made a first version and it was meh because it was late at night so I did it again and this is the one I sent you.

Honestly, all my character creating have two phase. One day I will put all the old version of characters together or something it could be funny !

Thank to you to have created Giovanni like what ? I need him please don't forget him ahah. Kidding.

Take care of YOURSELF ! Kaledya. Really. 🌸🌸🌸

No, no, I'm like a radish(This is an idiom means I'm perfect) or I'm right as rain., don't worry!!!! 🫂🫂🫂

I'm just a little stressed about exams, that's all!!!!

(I hate art exams)

I just wnt to say I seriously love your work! You are seriously one of my favorite authors!!

Yes me too!! I seriously have so much fun in our conversations!! It's a whirlwind of fun, chaos and creativity!!

And I agree!!! Modesty is always the best! (And of course, ıt is the best partner in crime. After all, no one wants to end up like Icarus)

And I'm really glad you didn't underestimate yourself!!

Yes, ibis PaintX is a really nice program, the best part is that it is free and can be downloaded even on the most rickety phones!!

Before I got a tablet for my computer, I was always drawing on my phone.Seriously, once you get used to it, it's a lot of fun.Or you can use paper sets as sketches.Convenient for creating a color palette for your OCs too!!

And Always!!!

No, no, I don't feel any forced to return it or something!!. Just love giving gifts and I really want to draw!! And the scenes you wrote and I seriously love drawing your OCs!! It's kind of like drawing fanart for a TV series I like.I feel happy when I draw,And the fact that the person I give a gift to is becomehappy is something that really makes me happy!!!

And yes, I totally agree with your opinion!!!

And thank you so much for your kind words.

----

I'm really surprised to hear you haven't read any fanfics.But I can understand, it's perfectly normal if you haven't found one that interests you.

But I'm so glad to hear that you left a kind comment under that fic!!

LMAO There's no need to be sorry! Even though Twilight is a highly criticized movie series, it is still a fun series to watch I don't remember ever getting bored while watching it.. And yes, I was watching it for Jacob too! (werewolves seemed really cool at that time.)

Yes, but also he cursed with a seriously creative curse.And I agree that a person who has lived that long has at least a little insanity.

Hehjejeehe I can't wait to see Verdelet in a historical maid outfit! *Prepares to slam the credit card on the table*

Oh okay!! And I haven't seen the 1st Version, but I'm sure it's nice, But I really love the way it is now so everything is Perfect. ��🛐

Yes, seriously, it always happens when creating OCs. The 1st version is incomplete, but it opens the door to the real concept. The 2nd version is perfection!

And I really would like to see something like this! It would seriously be fun to draw and see!!

I'm so glad you like Giovanni!! And don't worry, I won't forget my sneaky fox baby!!

I Will Madam!!(⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ❤️❤️

And take care of yourself too!!🫂❤️❤️❤️

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shezky · 3 months

Text

Well, I feel like a total scammer regarding my last post, but what can I do? I don't even trust my own words ☠️

Anyway, how have you guys been lately? I hope well, for my part I have recently missed some things here and have entered into new super fixations that make me have more than a thousand years of life, originally I had planned to use this account to upload only a lot of one thing but I think that is not my style anymore so I will upload whatever, whoever sees it, I hope they enjoy it, because if I don't do it this way I won't upload anything at all, as you can see ヘ⁠（⁠。⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠ヘ

To start this cycle I leave you a Reigen that I drew in the middle of the very late night because my insomniac self decided to use for the first time her new markers from last year. I hate the blush because I don't know why it doesn't occurred to me to try the highlighter before using it with that skin tone but, what I can do? It feel like a sin even! Like...that red isn't very out of the picture? I don't even know what it looks like, I guess I learned my lesson, sorry if it seems like he got slapped or something 😭

Is it normal that when I want to draw digitally I never finish anything?...I used to like it a lot but damn, it exhausts my eyesight, I don't promise but one day I will bring something digitally, at least one thing, I don't know.

I also don't promise to upload things very often, I'm just coming back from the extensive creative block I had thanks to some things that were happening to me and since I didn't want to force myself I just disappeared, but that don't stop me for drawing, I would die if I did! Although many drawings disappeared because I made them in my whiteboard, maybe I'll show them to you guys sometime.

It's a pleasure to bring something at least small and veeeery simple for all of you, I hope you don't mind that it's not the usual, but I think I'm simply not good enough to focus on just one thing, I like to be in a little bit of everything!

A big hug to everyone, don't forget to stay safe, bye-bye! 🫶

#reigen arataka #mob psycho 100 #fanart #art #ramblings #me rambling #mob psycho fanart #mob psycho reigen #mob psycho anime

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artfoold00k · 10 months

Note

Hey Dook, I really hope the upcoming year brings you nothing but good vibes and a perfect harmony in your awesome art! Your new pieces always make my day, seriously. You're such an inspiration, so dang talented.

Quick question for you: I often find myself stuck when I try to draw in my free time. How do you always come up with such cool ideas? Share your secrets on finding inspiration and drawing as expressively as you do, please!

(´｡• ω •｡`) Ah, you're so kind. Thank you for the good wishes. I wish you an awesome upcoming year as well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That's a good question! It's relevant for many fellow artists out there.

SUMMARY: Mix: your passion, your favs, a theme, portfolio and art goals. Power up with your references collection.

In details ⤵️

For me, stumbling onto those bright ideas that really click, started with digging into who I am and what I love.

It's mainly about recognizing the roadblocks and figuring out a fix that fits you. And it's like having a chill heart-to-heart with yourself:

you: I'm stuck. Can't figure out what to draw! mind: Okay. What is your main objective? Work or hobby? you: Feeling a bit rusty. Maybe I should start with something personal, you know, for practice. mind: Got it. First things first, let's jot down your favorite things. Got a list handy? you: Uh, not really. They're all up in my head. mind: No biggie. We can roll with that. It might spark some inspiration. But hey, to spice it up, let's create a visual board of you as an artist. Your focus, your style, your values — everything. Think of it like a moodboard. you: Sounds kinda complex. I just wanted to doodle in my downtime. mind: Trust me, this won't eat up much of your time. It's a breeze, and the result might just be the secret sauce for your future drawings. Start a bit now, pick it up later.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I, actually, aided it further.

All my ideas that wake me up or keep boiling in my head, I write into digital lists (in my case is TickTick app). Because when I see something inspiring (or someone) I can attach a link where needed, or add a custom note with markdown available.

Then I began to fill up my reference folders. I work on them from time to time with a timer (20-30 mins). In my case, when I focus on character design, I have a collection of styles I want to try (including art from my favorite games cuz sure I want to learn how pro artists do it), coloring and drawing tutorials, educational (anatomy and all that), poses/faces/expressions, fashion, etc. *can be on your device, online drive, or a platform like Pinterest. Each set is not enough on its own. To make it work - combine things. Example: pick a pose, add a face to it, choose something trendy and fashionable, add your favorite colors/items/theme, throw some VFX. Mix and mash, don't be afraid to combine incompatible.

By establishing my priorities, I made lists (yet again, my obsession) of what I want to practice and then added each category in a randomizator to pick for me 3 elements to match and challenge. Here is my approximate plan (WIP). Random color generator (one of many out there)

I trained myself not to take too broad themes and stick to what I want to have in my portfolio (what drives my future commissions) while staying versatile. Takes practice.

I hope it helps somehow. It's something that works for me these days but might change in the future.

Find your own way because no one knows you like you do, so the most comfortable way to resolve an issue is the one that's crafted by you. Believe, your mind can find shortcuts and tips for you if tasked to do so. Don't forget to research and store.

#FUQ_Dook ❓#art advice #dook titips 🔖

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giraffeinthebathtub · 4 months

Text

My five Ws and an H and a Ż

In every good newspaper lead there should be an answer to the five W questions. Every journalist knows it.

I am not a good journalist, and neither a journalist even, but I think it a good idea on how to introduce myself - a lead of sorts of this blog. And those five essential questions are sure worth answering.

Treat this post as an artistic statement, public one too, personal even and maybe a little bit of political? We will find out soo enough.

Who?

A Polish lad with head full of stories characters and visions that torment him both during the mundane and exciting. A tormented soul but a potent one. A game designer. A programmer. A baker.

What?

Writing. Writing. And writing. I was always obsessed with it. Mostly for the first couple pages, then I got tired and gave up. But hopefully won't give up know.

Game design and development. Making my own effort to entertain and amaze.

When?

Only when I am the most uncomfortable, restless, supposed to be sleeping or getting some work done. And when the finals draw near.

Where?

From everywhere and that is mainly airports, buses, cars, trains, waiting rooms, work, bike seat (probably illigal), toilets (probably too much information) and occasionally from hell.

Why?

Because it is time to take my brain and make a little hole so it will not explode and maybe, just maybe it can serve as an archive of my insanity that will be studied by psychologists in a hundred years. (totally not the main reason)

And as I have also teased an H, I feel the need to explain that it should also appear in the lead of a story - but only slightly. A good journalist knows how to grip the reader with their H.

My How?

Short stories. Snippets. Opinions. Questions - both open ended and closed. Just anything that comes to my mind and future me will judge it as deserving the digital immortality.

I will not be fake, I don't like being fake and don't like following the trends. I will sometimes write stuff that can challage some ideals. Not doubting and not questioning the world around us makes us blind. I will not be blind. But it does not mean I don't welcome conversation. Ask me anything, challage me, I seek minds brighter than mine.

So that is it. Me and my mission. I will make sure to make myself uncomfortable, to question everything, subvert my expectations and grow. And you can watch this dumpster fire. For free.

And the Ż?, you are probably asking. Well the Ż stands for Żaba. A frog. The first protagonist of my little Book Of Lies. Curious? Well I won't hear nor read the answer so just stay tuned and see the story unfold.

Thank you for reading and hope you will stay here a while. But don't forget, I will tell you only lies.

#writers on tumblr #writing #story #statement #my blog #blog #I am writing this late at night #Probably too much information #Did I mention I am Polish? Yeah that's important for me #game design #game dev blog #programmer

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ekkurea · 1 year

Note

Your art is so beautiful. May I please have tips for doing digital art and maybe drawing. I’m trying to improve my art skills, both pencil and paper ☺️

Hello! Thank you so much! I don't even know what I can do to help. But I will try to tell you everything I can remember and maybe some of it will be useful to you. Although, you've probably already heard/read it all or experienced it yourself.

Progress in drawing (and not only) rests on "several pillars"

STABILITY, ANALYSIS, INSPIRATION (Continued 👇🏻 And some of my old drawings)

Perhaps we should start with the last one, inspiration. Do what you love, love what you do. In addition, I advise you to clearly define for yourself what the rational purpose of your work is. I spent a lot of time wondering why I should create my own art if there are already millions of cool artists. Find your benefit to yourself, others, and the world. This will help in difficult times when the wave of emotions subsides.

Lack of stable practice. For various reasons, I often quit drawing and had to go back to the beginning every time. Drawing is about knowledge and skills. So even if you remember the structure of the skull and the process of drawing, your hands and brain still need time to adjust technically.

If you wanted to hear some practical step-by-step actions, then unfortunately I won't be able to help you with that. You need to visually show the process (and there are endless topics to study) with explanatory support and feedback on the final result. Perhaps someday I will be able to open my courses or share quality tutorials with you.

Maybe this quick tip will help you. If you are just starting out, I would advise you to draw more quick sketches, small finished drawings. I also like an old saying. "Your work should look complete at any stage." Whether it's a sketch, working with color or whatever. It doesn't mean that you have to dwell on each of them. It means that you need to have a basic understanding, and even if it's not perfect, you should be able to do each stage. I hope I was able to make that clear.

But also don't be afraid of full-fledged illustrations that require a lot of sweat. Why do my words contradict? For example. At the institute, we hardly ever made quick sketches or small illustrations. We painted few pictures and spent several weeks on each one. This is not good. Because while we were trying to perfect the coloring of the picture, we were already "forgetting" how to work with composition. And as I said, regularity plays an important role and it is a great exercise for the brain. So take breaks, alternate your workload, and always learn something new to see progress.

I was able to test how much better it works on my own students (I started teaching at a private art school in my final year of university). Children who refused to do quick exercises quickly burned out on long, full-fledged drawings. Children who drew only quick sketches were afraid of difficulties and as a result drew worse and worse. It was only when I had to insist on maintaining a balance that they started without enthusiasm at first, but later said how great it was and were grateful. We also alternated topics, from free choice of anime or anything to classic still lifes. They learned to love both.

By the way, it was while teaching that I realized how important it is to structure information and drawing stages in your head. To check if you have learned everything well, try explaining and teaching others. You will immediately notice if you have any gaps.

Since we're on the subject, I'll tell you about my path, which is quite typical. But I promised to show you some of my old drawings. Unfortunately, most of the photos have not survived, but here is what I found. And while some of the drawings are still at home in my hometown, the drawings from the university were successfully sold to junior students (haha, does it work like that for you too?).

Beginning. Art school (5-11 years old). Most of the time fooling around with peers, the rest of the time being forced to draw something you don't like. Complicating factors: the complete absence of a learning process (teachers did not show or explain anything at all and everything was done at the level of children's intuition). A few high-quality tutorials on the Internet would have given me more than all the training there (we can talk separately about how difficult it is to find high-quality drawing courses even now. I had no luck with that at all. Pay attention not only to how the courses advertise themselves, but also to what their students can do, what they study, how the material is presented, what teaching methods are used... Don't waste your money). The result: I hated drawing. I didn't even want to think about a sheet of paper and a pencil. And I say this with all the love for the memories of those times. And yet, I'm still grateful for my childhood.

Still lifes and nature are interesting! I realized this when I became an adult, gained experience and saw the meaning and beauty in them, and then I became sincerely interested in the process. If they tell you that by painting still lifes you will learn to paint anything, they are not lying. It is a good base for understanding shapes, textures, colors and space.

By the way, an additional problem of motivation at that time was that at that time, becoming an artist, designer, illustrator, animator, drawing anime or something similar was on the level of "becoming an astronaut". At the time, I didn't even think about the possibility of this. "You just have to find a normal job." Do you know what I mean? It's good that times are changing.

Already at the construction college (I was planning to become an architect) (I was 14-15 years old), I started drawing in class out of boredom. I drew what I was interested in. I was surprised myself, but this accident (or was it?) marked the beginning of everything. I still consider those times to be the best for my mental health and my creativity. I still can't get back the "wings" of inspiration and carefree spirit I had. Ah, youth (ha ha). Unfortunately, then I had to give up everything again and go to work alongside my studies.

The idea that I could really become an illustrator was also a matter of fate. I saw one artist from my city who "made it". I looked at her path and thought that I wanted to do it too. So, to try and not lose what I already have, I entered two universities at the same time (to study engineering and graphic design). I like to be autonomous and set an example for myself, but it's also good to be inspired and learn from others.

By the way. Looking at others too much became my big problem during my university years. I faced the problem of analyzing my work and other artists. I couldn't see myself, felt incredible pressure and was torn looking at professionals of different styles and directions. There were too many of them. It was killing me morally. It's better to drop the fear. Easy to say, but sometimes hard to do, I know.

Write down a few areas (fanart, book illustration, character development) and try each one. Choose a few top authors in each area. You can analyze what is currently relevant and for which audience and publications. The current style and color scheme in the industry may even depend on the country. For example, in Asia, children's book illustration has its own favorites, which are significantly different from Europe. Think about who you are working for.

If you choose to go your own way, focusing only on yourself, I also want to reassure you. Each of us already has a style. It is the way we draw now and what we will add during practice (colors we like, techniques we may have seen from someone else, etc.). It's like a snowball that gets bigger as it travels. Only in practice will you realize what is truly yours. Besides, we don't know where life will take us. I honestly could not even imagine that I would be lucky enough to paint fanarts. So you shouldn't choose one narrow direction for the rest of your life. We change and so does our path, which indicates our development. Focus on what you can try right now. This will give you the first impetus.

It's quite interesting that one artist can have a radically different style depending on whether they work with traditional materials or digital. I know an illustrator who likes to draw nature in classic realism, but on a tablet she draws bright stylized drawings. You can be different and that's okay. And I was the person who couldn't get used to drawing on a tablet for years. It can be difficult to find your tools and re-adjust, to get used to other feelings.

About the process. Before you start, make sure you have all the information you need (if you are not just painting for yourself, for relaxation). Sometimes it happens that you have a task, but without clear requirements. It's better to ask the customer (or if you're drawing for yourself, ask yourself) about the idea of the drawing, the format, the technical requirements, the audience it's for, what should be emphasized, what color scheme, what is the reason for it... The more details you know and the clearer you imagine what the result should be, the less likely you are to have to redo everything. This is an opportunity to thank all my customers who provide me with great quality references! Some of them even write a whole story about the characters and the idea and atmosphere the illustration should have. Thank you so much! Thanks to this, I understand your thoughts better and the illustrations become more "alive".

#askekurea

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starwonderz · 3 months

Text

RENT: THE ORIGINAL BROADWAY CAST RECORDING SENTENCE STARTERS -- ACT 1.

content warning(s) : mentions of drug use/drug abuse, themes of HIV/AIDs, mentions or references to sex

" from here on in, i shoot without a script. see if anything comes of it. "

" this won't tune. "

" are you talking to me? "

" are you ready? hold that focus steady... "

" tell the folks at home what you're doing, [name]! "

" i'm writing one great song. "

" that was a very loud beep. i don't even know if this is working. "

" are you screening your calls? "

" i hope you like the hot plate! just don't leave it on, dear, when you leave the house. "

" we're sorry to hear that [name] dumped you. i say c'est la vie! there are other fishies in the sea. "

" a wild night is now pre - ordained! "

" what do you mean, detained?! "

" dudes, i'm on my way. "

" i need the rent. "

" let slide? you said we were golden! "

" remember? you lived here. "

" how is the drama queen? "

" you still dating her? "

" she's got a new man? what's his name? "

" rent, my amigos, is due! or i will have to evict you. "

" how do you document real life when real life's getting more like fiction each day? "

" how do you write a song when the chords sound wrong, though they once sounded right and rare? "

" when the notes are sour, where is the power you once had to ignite the air? "

" we're hungry and frozen! "

" how we gonna pay last year's rent? "

" how do you start a fire when there's nothing to burn and you feel like something's stuck in your flue? "

" you light up a mean blaze! "

" did you eat? don't change the subject, [name]. "

" but darling . . . you haven't eaten all day! "

" the digital delay didn't blow up, exactly. there may have been one teeny tiny spark . . . "

" how do you stay on your feet when on every street, it's trick or treat and tonight it's trick! "

" i should lie down. everything's brown and, uh oh, i feel sick . . . "

" where is he?! "

" i don't believe those two after everything i've done! "

" i can help them all out in the long run! "

" [name], i'm not a theater person! could never be a theater person. "

" they burn the past to the ground and feel the heat of the future's glow. "

" your equipment won't work? "

" how can you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? "

" how can you connect in an age where strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray? "

" what binds the fabric together when the raging, shifting winds of change keep ripping away? "

" draw a line in the sand, and then make a stand. "

" use your camera to spar! "

" when they act tough, you call their bluff. "

" we're not gonna pay rent. "

" christmas bells are ringing -- somewhere else, not here. "

" you okay, honey? they get any money? "

" they purloined my coat. "

" let's get a band - aid for your knee. "

" there's a life support meeting at 9:30. "

" this body provides a comfortable home for the acquired immune deficiency syndrome. "

" you're cute when you blush. "

" i don't suppose you'd like to see the show in the lot tonight? or, come to dinner? "

" zoom in on my empty wallet. "

" i'll check on you later, you have to get out of the house. "

" find glory beyond the cheap - colored lights, one song before the sun sets on another empty life. "

" find glory in a song that reigns true, truth like a blazing fire, an eternal flame . . . "

" time flies, and then no need to endure anymore! "

" i know you, you're -- you're shivering. "

" they turned off my heat. "

" would you light my candle? "

" what are you staring at? "

" your smile reminded me . . . "

" i always remind people of -- who is she? "

" sorry about your friend. "

" it blew out again? "

" i think that i dropped my stash. "

" i know i've seen you out and about, when i used to go out. "

" is it on the floor? "

" they say that i have the best ass below 14th street. is it true? "

" you're staring again. "

" i didn't recognize you without the handcuffs. "

" why don't you forget that stuff? you look like you're 16. "

" i'm just born to be bad. "

" that was my last match. "

" our eyes'll adjust. thank god for the moon. "

" i hear spike lee's shooting down the street. "

" do you wanna dance? "

" i tried you at the office and they said you're stage managing or something? "

" we'll be at the spa for new year's . . . unless the senator changes his mind. "

" you hear that? it's three weeks away and she's already nervous. "

" no doc martens this time! "

" a box of captain crunch will taste so good. "

" look, it's santa claus! "

" this boy could use some stoli! "

" struck gold at MIT? "

" they expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality, which i'll soon impart to the couch potatoes at New York University. "

" i was waiting for you, don't you know? "

" today for you, tomorrow for me! "

" you earned this on the street? "

" i need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear. "

" i'm certain that cur will bark itself to death. "

" who could foretell that it would go so well? "

" that dog is now in doggy hell. "

" get your ass off that range rover! "

" that attitude toward the homeless is just what [name] is protesting tonight! "

" the owner of that lot next door has a right to do with it as he pleases. "

" you're wasting your time. "

" you broke your word -- this is absurd! "

" there is one way you won't have to pay . . . "

" our dream can become a reality. "

" i'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee you can stay here for free if you do me one small favor. "

" why not just get an injunction or call the cops? "

" my investors would rather i handle this quietly. "

" you can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city, then watch It's A Wonderful Life on TV! "

" you want to produce films and write songs? you need somewhere to do it. "

" think twice before you pooh - pooh it. "

" you'll see . . . or you'll pack! "

" that boy could use some prozac. or heavy drugs. or group hugs. "

" we have a detour to make tonight. "

" life support's a group for people coping with life. you don't have to stay too long. "

" i've got a protest to save! "

" i'm not much company you'll find. "

" he'll catch up later -- he's just got other things on his mind. "

" i told her not to call you. "

" can i help since i'm here? "

" the samples won't delay, but the cable . . . "

" there's another way. say something, anything. "

" this is weird. very weird. "

" i'm so mad that i don't know what to do -- fighting with microphones, freezing down to my bones, and to top it all off i'm with you. "

" feel like going insane, got a fire in your brain? and you're thinking of drinking gasoline? "

" honey, i know this act. "

" it's a dark, dizzy, merry - go - round. "

" you toss and you turn 'cause her cold eyes can burn, yet you yearn and you churn and rebound. "

" i think i know what you mean. "

" have you ever doubted a kiss or two? "

" did you swoon when she walked through the door? "

" where'd you learn to tango? "

" it's hard to do this backwards. "

" i'm defeated, i should give up right now! "

" you don't stand a chance. her grip of romance makes you fall. "

" dance a tango to hell. at least i'll have tangoed at all! "

" gotta dance 'til your diva is through. "

" you pretend to believe her 'cause in the end you can't leave her. "

" you know, i feel great now! "

" there's only us. there's only this. "

" oh, i'm not -- i'm just here to -- i don't have -- i'm here with -- um, [name]. [name]. i'm [name]. "

" well! this is quite an operation. "

" forget regret, or life is yours to miss. "

" excuse me, [name.] i'm having a problem with this. "

" my t - cells are low. i regret this news, okay? "

" how do you feel today? "

" then why choose fear? "

" i'm a new yorker! fear's my life. "

" look, i find some of what you teach suspect, because i'm used to relying on intellect. "

" i try to open up to what i don't know. "

" reason says i should've died three years ago. "

" no other road, no other way. no day but today. "

" well, it's gotta be close to midnight. "

" my body's talking to me. it says, time for danger! "

" i wanna commit a crime, wanna be the cause of a fight. "

" i wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt with a stranger. "

" i've had a knack from way back of breaking the rules once i've learned the games. "

" get up -- life's too quick! i know some place sick! "

" we don't need any money. "

" i always get in for free. you can get in too if you get in with me. "

" let's go out tonight. i have to go out tonight. "

" let's run away. we won't be back before it's Christmas Day. "

" when i get a wink from the doorman, do you know how lucky you'll be? "

" be my night owl? "

" in the evening, i've got to roam. can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome. feels too damn much like home. "

" let's find a bar, so dark we forget who we are, and all the scars from the nevers and maybes die. "

" wanna hit the street? "

" who do you think you are, barging in on me and my guitar?! "

" hey, the door is that way. you better go. you know the fire is out anyway. "

" your sweet whisper, i just can't handle. "

" i should tell you -- no! "

" another time, another place. "

" looking for romance? come back another day. "

" the heart may freeze, or it may burn. the pain will ease, if i can learn. "

" there is no future, there is no past. i live this moment as my last. "

" excuse me, if i'm off track, but if you're so wise, then tell me why do you need smack?! "

" take your fancy prayer! don't forget, get the moonlight out of your hair! "

" long ago you might've lit up my heart, but the fire's dead and ain't never ever gonna start. "

" you wanna prove me wrong? come back another day! "

" there's only yes! only tonight! "

" we must let go to know what's right. "

" i can't control my destiny. "

" control your temper. "

" i trust my soul. "

" who says that there's a soul? "

" my only goal is just to be. "

" just let me be. "

" give into love, or live in fear. "

" take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette! "

" will i lose my dignity? will someone care? "

" will i wake tomorrow from this nightmare? "

" who the fuck do you think you are?! "

" i don't need no goddamn help from some bleeding heart cameraman! "

" my life's not for you to make a name for yourself on! "

" easy, sugar, easy. "

" it's not that kind of movie, honey! "

" let's go, this lot is full of motherfuckin' artists! "

" you gotta dollar? "

" times are shitty, but i'm pretty sure they can't get worse. "

" it's a comfort to know when you're singing the hit the road blues? that anywhere else you could possibly go after New York would be a pleasure cruise. "

" i'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle. "

" i'm sick of grading papers that i know. "

" i'm shouting in my sleep, i need a muzzle. "

" all this misery pays no salary. "

" let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. oh, sunny Santa Fe would be . . . nice. "

" let's leave this to the roaches and mice. "

" my students would rather watch TV. "

" you're a sensitive aesthete. "

" you could make the menu sparkle with a rhyme. "

" i could seat guests as they come, chatting not about Heidegger but wine! "

" our labors would reap financial gain. "

" we'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away, devote ourselves to projects that sell. "

" forget this cold bohemian hell. "

" do you know the way to Sante Fe? you know, tumbleweeds . . . prairie dogs? "

" live in my house, i'll be your shelter. just pay me back with one thousand kisses. "

" be my lover, and i'll cover you. "

" open your door, i'll be your tenant. don't got much baggage to lay at your feet. "

" sweet kisses i've got to spare. "

" i'll be there, and i'll cover you. "

" i think they meant it, when they said you can't buy love. now i know you can rent it. "

" a new lease, you are, on life. be my life! "

" just slip me on, i'll be your blanket. "

" you'll be my king, and i'll be your castle. "

" you'll be my queen, and i'll be your moat. "

" i've longed to discover something as true as this is. "

" with a thousand sweet kisses, i'll cover you. "

" if you're cold and you're lonely, you've got one nickel only . . . when you're worn out and tired, when your heart has expired . . . i'll cover you. "

" honeybear, wait, i'm on the other phone! "

" yes, i have the cowbell. we're okay. "

" tell them we'll sue, but a settlement will do. "

" no, you cut the paper plate. "

" [name] is coming to mother's hearing. "

" [name]'s lesbian sister? i'll tell him. "

" can't you spare a dime or two? "

" you'll be merry, i'll be merry! though, merry ain't in my vocabulary. "

" no room at the holiday inn. "

" it's beginning to snow. "

" no one's buying. feel like crying? "

" how about a fur in perfect shape owned by an MBA from uptown? "

" i got a tweed broken in by a greedy broker who went broke, and then broke down. "

" you don't have to do this. i don't deserve you, [name]. "

" hush now, it's Christmas. "

" all you do is give. "

" give me some way to show how you've touched me so. "

" wait, what's on the floor? "

" let's see some more. "

" kiss me, it's beginning to snow. "

" she was more than okay, but i pushed her away. "

" it was bad, i got mad, and i had to push her out of my sight. "

" wait, wait, wait -- you said she was sweet? "

" let's go eat. "

" i'll just get fat. it's the one vice left when you're dead meat. "

" there! that's her! "

" i should go. "

" i just want to say, i'm sorry for the way i blew up. can i make it up to you? "

" you steal my client, you die! "

" you'll never lack for customers! "

" i gotta get my sickness off. "

" wish me luck, [name], the protest is on! "

" which investor's coming? "

" fall on your knees, oh night divine. you'll do some time. "

" you'll feel cheery, i'll feel cheery! though, i don't really know that theory. "

" let's not hold hands yet. i just need to take it slow. "

" [name], which way to the stage?! "

" last night, i had a dream. "

" it was hot, my canteen had sprung a leak and i was thirsty. "

" they closed everything real down, like barns and troughs and performance spaces, and replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual life. "

" i've gotta get out of here. "

" it's like i'm being tied to the hood of a yellow rental truck being packed in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff by a suicidal mickey mouse. "

" uh, one two three, that's bull. "

" maybe it's a . . . female thing. "

" who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway? "

" walls ain't so bad. "

" the only way out is up. "

" i sucked the sweetest milk i have ever tasted. "

" moo with me. "

" mister, can't you go? "

" what am i, just a blur? "

" you sit all night, you never buy! "

" that's lie! i had a tea the other day! "

" you couldn't pay! "

" was the yuppie scum stomped? "

" how many tickets weren't comped? "

" why did [name] miss the show? "

" there was a death in the family, if you must know. "

" i'm surprised. a bright and charming person like you hangs out with these slackers, who don't adhere to deals? "

" i'm the one attempting to do some good! or do you really want a neighborhood, where people piss on your stoop every night? "

" Bohemia's a fallacy in your head. this is Calcutta! Bohemia is dead! "

" we gather here to say our goodbyes. "

" here she lies, no one knew her worth. "

" we raise our glass, you bet your ass, to La vie Bohème. "

" to being an us, for once, instead of a them. "

" La vie Bohème! "

" is the equipment in a pyramid? "

" the mixer doesn't have case. "

" don't give me that face! "

" hey, mister. she's my sister. "

" so that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter, and one pasta with meatless balls? "

" it tastes the same! "

" wipe the speakers off before you pack. "

" it's between God and me. "

" in honor of the death of Bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner! "

" your new boyfriend doesn't know about us. "

" we're taking it slow. "

" excuse me, did i do something wrong? i get invited, then ignored all night long. "

" i've been trying, i'm not lying. "

" no one's perfect, i've got baggage. "

" life's too short, babe, time is flying. "

" i'm looking for baggage that goes with mine. "

" azt break . . . "

" i should tell you, i'm disaster. i forget how to begin it. "

" let's just make this part go faster. i have yet to be in it. "

" i should tell i blew the candle out just to get back in. "

" i'd forgotten how to smile until your candle burnt my skin. "

" clinging a shoulder, a leap begins. "

" are we packed? "

" you should see they've padlocked your building. "

" they're rioting on Avenue B. "

" the cops are sweeping the lot, but no one's leaving. they're just sitting, mooing! "

" to people living with, not dying from disease! "

" let he among us without sin be the first to condemn! "

" anyone out of the mainstream? is anyone in the mainstream? "

" anyone alive with a sex drive? tear down the wall! aren't we all? "

" the opposite of war isn't peace ; it's creation. "

" viva la vie Bohème! "

#( prompts. ) a monologue for a lonely stage #// i HAVE to split this up i'm sorry it is already SO LONG

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