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miekasa · 3 years

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college boyfriend levi headcanons: exam season

+ pairings: levi ackerman x (fem) reader

+ genres and warnings: college au, fluff, nothing too dramatic

+ notes: this is combination of about three or four requests i got around the similar theme of finals (are you guys okay.... pls drink water omg), so i hope you don’t mind that i combined them!

From the outside, Levi is very composed, even when he’s stressed out. Unless you really know him, it’d be hard to tell he’s going through something at all—whether it be personal or because of school.

Just because he’s good at hiding it, doesn’t mean it’s always healthy lol. It’s not always… unhealthy, either; but one of his coping mechanisms is definitely to keep to himself, in an attempt to try and gain control of all the chaos.

Luckily for Levi, you’ve gotten pretty good at telling whenever he’s hiding something. That, and there’s only so composed one human being can be during finals week lol.

He doesn’t mind being taken care of, but it’s not something he seeks out either. But if you try showing him support, he’ll accept whatever you have to offer.

If you can’t exactly help him with the content of his classes, he’ll still be grateful to know that you’d want to buy him snacks, or study with him, or nap with him, or even just text to check up on him. Little things like that mean a lot to him.

When it comes it you, however, he almost doesn’t ever verbally acknowledge that you’re having a hard time—he only shows it through his actions, and he’ll do whatever he can to make your life easier when things are stressful.

I’ve said it before, but I think that acts of service are probably the biggest component of Levi’s love languages. If you need anything, he’d be happy to get or do it for you, and will even go so far as to volunteer himself to take care of something before you can ask.

Food is a big thing. He’ll buy or prepare food for you while you’re studying, one: to make sure you don’t accidentally forget to eat, and two: to make sure that you’re not living off of take out for two weeks, no matter how tempting it may be.

If you have trouble focusing, he’ll honestly incentivize you like a kid lolol. He’ll tell you to study for an hour, and then you can take a break, or he’ll buy you something from Starbucks or something of that nature. Lowkey, he’s classically conditioning you, but whatever.

Pokes you with his pen if you try to distract him or coerce him into taking a break earlier than your scheduled break-time.

He can also twirl his pen really quickly and does it very absentmindedly when he’s watching a video or something. Lowkey kind of hot, don’t tell him that, though, he’s enough of a menace as it is.

Plays footsies with you under the table while you’re both doing work. Don’t tell anyone else, tho.

If you’re the kind of person who really ups their coffee intake during exams season, he’s not outwardly going to stop you—not like he could, bye—but he will try his best to either moderate it, or at the very least supplement it with actual food and water in between.

Sometimes though, he simply has to pry the coffee out of your hands, and even though you want to kill him for it, you know he’s right.

“You cannot have three venti drinks with 4 shots of espresso in them in the same day. You shouldn’t even have had two. In fact, one was pushing it. No more.” “Fine, I’ll just drink have a grande instead.” “Over my dead body, hand it over.”

Don’t play with him, he’ll pour your $8 drink down the drain without a single regret.

If you favor energy drinks over coffee, then he’ll act the same way, except worse lolol. He’s not playing games with you, he simply will not let you consume a 5hr energy in front of him, and if he finds your stash, it’s over.

He’ll kind of bully you into taking care of yourself lolol. Either you do it, or he’ll do it for you.

He’s probably more prone to studying in the evening, but he doesn’t strike me as the all-nighter kind of guy, unless he’s completely forgotten about an assignment or exam and absolutely has to cram the day before.

Honestly, he just gets sick of doing schoolwork after a certain hour and would rather be asleep or doing anything else. Which works out for him; because he’s so consistent throughout the semester, his exams are a bit more bearable.

When he sees you staying up late more often, he doesn’t think anything much of it at first. It’s pretty commonplace among college students. He does get a little bit grouchy though, because it means he has less time to spend with you doing something other than staring at work all day.

If it really persists, that’s when he’s going to try and get you to give it up and take a night off, or at least take a nap with him. (Levi likes naps, and I think he really would nap like a kitten throughout whenever he can).

When you’re studying together, he usually finishes his work before you, and if you take too long, he wouldn’t mind making himself comfortable and taking a nap while he waits.

He takes really good notes, and probably writes them over several times when he’s studying, he’s really got it down to a science. That being said, if you’re really behind and you can barely look through your unintelligible notes, Levi would write them over for you.

Yeah, but in doing that he also steals your highlighters. Give them back Levi, if you want a pack of Mildliners, buy your own.

He waits for you after your late classes or study groups, especially in the winter or when it’s dark out. He doesn’t like to let you walk home alone—especially if it’s finals week, because he knows you’re barely running on 5 hours of sleep anyways.

He’ll let you teach him things as a way for you to practice/study and takes very good notes because he’s cute like that, even if he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

If your room gets messy in your haze of studying and wallowing, he’ll come over and clean it up, even if you don’t want to, or feel like you don’t have the strength to. He’ll just start picking things up. It helps more than he knows.

When exams are all over, he takes you out to do whatever you want. Whether it be a nice meal, doing something fun like laser tag, or even just going to watch a movie together; it’s a nice little celebration after all the hard work.

If he’s feeling the pressure, he stress-bakes. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s an overwhelming amount. His kitchen is practically overflowing with lemon tarts and he just starts handing them out to you and all his friends like he’s a merchant, because he’ll be damned if they spoil.

“You smell like sugar and flour… were you baking today?” “Yes… Psychology is hard and humans are stupid, now here’s a muffin.”

If you really just need a complete break from everything school related, he’ll take you on a long drive. You don’t have to go anywhere specific, but he’ll just drive you around, and you two can get food and talk and talk and talk until you’re barely thinking about school anymore.

Overall, he’s pretty nurturing and particularly gentle with you. He doesn’t like to see you not take care of yourself, so if he has to do it for you, so be it.

#aot x reader #snk x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #levi smut #levi fluff #eren x reader #i feel like these are shorter than usual but oh welp

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buckys-other-punk · 3 years

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Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick.

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend.

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony.

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant.

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend.

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over.

sebstan_fan: alright have fun

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself.

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.”

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside.

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you.

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing.

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath.

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?”

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @princess76179 @anbrax5553 @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes @miraclesoflove @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian x reader #reader x sebastian #sebastian stan x reader #reader x sebastian stan #sebastian stan x you #you x sebastian #sebastian x you #you x sebastian stan #reader insert #sebastian stan fluff

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collecting-stories · 4 years

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Tara - ep. 11 - Georgia

Summary: The reader’s birthday is right around the corner. Tara shares a secret with Daryl that only she knows.

A/N: Someone recently asked about me posting pictures that inspired Georgia so I thought I would share the pinterest board I use for it. (I’ll add more as the series moves along. If you wanna see anything specific like outfit inspo let me know lol).

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

“My baby! Look at her.” You cheered, standing in the parking lot of Dale’s autobody as Daryl drove the Jeep up and parked beside you. He had told you to come by after work to collect the Jeep at the shop, thinking it’d be better that way then you showing up at his house. “Thank you.”

“Just doing my job.” He shrugged, handing the keys over to you. “Another tussle with the cat?” He asked, catching sight of the cut on your cheek. Without thinking he reached up and brushed his hand across the cut and you flinched a little.

You smiled though, when you met his eyes, “yeah, can’t resist ‘em.”

“Thought maybe ya were getting into it at the diner, heard ya got arrested,” he teased.

“I wasn’t arrested! Who told you I was arrested?”

“Calm yerself down. Michonne said she picked ya up Friday night with Maggie Greene.” He replied. Michonne had given him an earful about it on Saturday morning when she’d seen him in the parking lot of the gas station.

“I was at Shane’s party, there was a fight.” You replied, “but I wasn’t arrested.” You wondered if Michonne told Daryl that she called you his girlfriend and whether or not that bothered him. If he corrected her everytime or if he didn’t say one way or another. “Anyway, I went cause Aiden told me he’d tell my mom we’ve been hanging out if I didn’t. I didn’t want you to get in trouble,” you admitted.

With both of the boys only in holding over night to ‘cool off’ as the sheriff called it, you were sure that Aiden had convinced his mom to tell yours about all the time you were spending with Daryl. You’d spent all last night laying in bed freaking out over the thought of Daryl getting in trouble because you were stupid enough to not just go talk to Deanna in the moment.

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, ya shouldn’t be spending time hanging around me anyway.” He mused, leaning against the side of your jeep. “Don’t matter anyway, going hunting for a few days...sure they’ll forget about whatever gossip they got running out their mouths by then.”

“When are you going?”

“Leavin’ in the morning why?” He asked.

“How long you gonna be gone?”

“Why?” Daryl asked again, “ya want me ta print ya an itinerary or something?”

“No. I’m just asking.” You frowned, hoping it looked like a glare but positive it looked much more like a pout. The thought of Daryl leaving, even for a weekend, was all kinds of awful. It was already going to be weird not going to his house three times a week to watch him work on the car and you were afraid that he would stop wanting you around now that the car was fixed. Going hunting felt like the final thing before he told you to stop bothering him for good. “You still gonna teach me car stuff when you come back?”

“Told ya I would.” He said. When Tiny called his name from the back of the shop, Daryl stood up, wiping imaginary dirt off his hands. “I gotta get back ta work, ya stay outta prison til I’m back, ya hear.”

“I wasn’t arrested!” You stressed,

“Course ya weren’t.” He hesitated for a moment, hands in the pockets of his coveralls as he stood there, waiting to say whatever was on his mind. “I’ll only be a few days, I see ya after. Teach ya how to drive.”

“I know how to drive!” You laughed, “you told me I was good driver.”

“When was that?”

“Daryl!”

He grinned, brushing his hair back with his hand before shaking it out. “I’ll be seeing ya alright?”

“I’ll see you when you get back.” You nodded, finally opening the door to your jeep as Daryl headed back into the auto shop to help Tiny. You waved to Axel as you peeled out, not headed far though, you had a shift at the diner to get back to.

You hadn’t mentioned it to Daryl then though you had been planning to. It was your birthday soon. About two weeks and you’d be eighteen. It wouldn’t matter what Deanna told your mom or what Aiden said and maybe, Michonne’s teasing wouldn’t have to be just teasing. It was all wishful thinking though. There was still the unavoidable possibility that he didn’t like you at all and that when you told him how you felt he wouldn’t reciprocate. Maggie told you that you were crazy to even think that way, Daryl was obviously into you, according to her.

You’d spent enough time with him though, you knew he wouldn’t come around easy. But that was okay, you were pretty willing to stick it out even if all you ever got was a glimpse of a smile.

The diner was packed when you got there, almost unusually so for a Thursday night but you recognized the two girls sitting at the counter the moment you walked through the front door. You waved while you ducked in the back to drop your things and clock in, fixing the apron around your dress and coming back out the double doors behind the counter.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked, stopping in front of Maggie and Tara before you waited on anyone else.

Maggie only came by the diner if she was driving you home and lately she hadn’t. Tara came even more infrequently so you knew they had to want something if they were sitting there, especially at the beginning of your shift.

“Wanted to get dinner, saw you across the street with your boyfriend.” Tara teased.

“Shut up.”

“You tell him that you’re gonna be eighteen soon.” She questioned. “You guys can-”

“Tara! Shut up!” You smacked the back of her hand with the pad of paper in your hand, “my God.”

“We came over because we were talking party ideas and wanted to know what you wanted for your birthday?” Maggie cut in, bringing the conversation back to something more appropriate for a diner full of families.

“After the other night...no party. Just us, Glenn...maybe Eugene? No one else, please.” You laughed.

“You know what would be more fun than a party?” Lori commented, stopping behind you.

You twisted around, looking at your co-worker, “waiting on tables?” You replied. She was always on your case, it was no surprise that she would’ve been ease-dropping on the conversation.

“Especially since you aren’t being paid to stand here chitchatting with your friends.” She retorted.

“I’m going, I’m going,” you muttered, “discuss without me...no party.” You insisted, walking around the counter to go wait on the tables in your section.

Tara spun in her stool, watching you chat up tables of families. “Watch her, I’ll be right back.” She instructed, hopping off the stool. Maggie was about to ask where she was headed but Tara was already across the diner, the bell on the door clattering behind her as she left. Through the picture windows Maggie could see her cut across the street to the garage. You would kill them if you found out, surely.

Tara walked up the small parking lot to the garage. She’d been there once to drop you off but had never been inside. She’d only seen Daryl a handful of times and only talked to him once. Not exactly the basis for inviting him to come to a birthday dinner for you that she couldn’t even imagine him agreeing too.

“Can I help you?” T-Dog called, spying the girl walking into the open garage a little less confident now that she was through the door.

“Is Daryl here?”

“D! You got a visitor.” T-Dog shouted, looking back at Tara skeptically before walking off to go back to work.

Daryl appeared on the other side of a four-door sedan, eyes narrowing when he realized the visitor was not you. Tara smiled a little too apprehensively, walking over to him and waving. “Hey, I’m Tara...I’m friends with-”

“Yeah, I recognize ya,” Daryl replied, leaning against the car. “What’re ya doing here?”

“Well...you might not know but she’s turning eighteen in two weeks and we were planning on having a party for her, nothing special but...” Tara shrugged, “I wanted to invite you.”

“I’m busy.”

“In two weeks? I didn’t even tell you the date.” She pointed out.

“Yeah and? She didn’t tell me herself, ain’t something she wants me ta know.” He replied. It seemed logical enough for him. You hadn’t mentioned your birthday to him at all. Maybe the party was a surprise but you hadn’t even brought up the exact date so why would you want him at a party with your friends?

“I think she’s probably just nervous, you know?” Tara tried to argue. Considering how much you talked about Daryl on a daily basis she wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t mention anything to him out of sheer anxiety. You were eighteen...the implications were there.

“What for?”

“Well,” Tara paused, was he joking? “She’s eighteen...you guys could like...date.”

Daryl brought his hand up, chewing at the tip of his thumb, cheeks going red at the word. He’d thought about it. Hell, he thought about it all the time. At Thanksgiving, in the parking lot on Christmas Eve, at the stupid winter fest, in his truck while you were driving to Woodbury, anytime he looked over at you while he was working on the car. What he wouldn’t give to have that, to kiss you whenever he wanted, to be close to you, but that kind of happiness wasn’t in the cards for him.

You were a fluke, a weird accident that happened in his timeline and once the universe righted itself you would be fixing your eye on someone who was better for you. Someone who would live up to all the standards that people in King County had.

“I got work.” He finally said, looking back down at the car in front of him.

“Okay. Just, think about it?” Tara requested. “She really likes you and, I know my opinion is whatever but, she deserves some happiness.” Tara turned, leaving the shop to get back to Maggie, hoping you didn’t notice her absence too much.

“What’d ya mean?” Daryl called after her.

Tara paused, looking back at him, “don’t tell her I told you...no one knows.” She stressed, “things aren’t exactly...her parents aren’t what everyone thinks.”

As she headed back to the diner Daryl exhaled, kicking the tire of the sedan as that feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. The same feeling he’d pushed away earlier when he saw the scratch on your cheek. The one he’d ignored just after Christmas when you told him you tousled with a cat at the Greene’s. It was that feeling, nagging, coupled with the smallest hint of something familiar behind your eyes.

He knew the feeling. He lived it. But you shouldn’t have to.

Taglist: @hopesxxhigh @coffeebooksandfandom @jodiereedus22 @tehfabbooty @thecaptainsgingersnap @of-storms-and-sadness @twdeadfanfic @alwaysadreamingoptimist @mainokutan @sabertooth-potato @solllaris @bucky-barnes-babies @ly--canthrope @daryldixonandfrogs @jaycc7983 @easnuppa @imaginecrushes @tonystarkismyboy @watchmeaspire @harpersmariano @guccicloudz @sapphire-angel @buzzybhee @alexbealee @elodieyung @its-evita-here

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coastaldragon · 3 years

Text

Dragon Diary 1/7/21

So...this is my resolution for the year.

I wanted to start a kin-related diary. I found myself missing how often I used to muse about myself and my experiences here, and have long since felt...detached from myself. Stuck in the loop of going through the motions of “human.”

A week late on my first entry, but so it goes.

These entries will just be flow-of-consciousness blabbles for the most part. I’ll talk about any kin-related thoughts I’ve had that day, how I’ve been feeling, how my otherkinity has affected my day, etc.

I have a lot of catching-up to do with you all, so the first few entries may seem disjointed and a little long. Lets get started. This is long. And a bit negative. But hopefully they won’t all be.

cw for death and drug mention and health talk like needles and stuff

I don’t quite remember why I dropped Tumblr like I did. I think I was getting annoyed at all the UI changes, and just overall very busy with “real life.” These things happen. I slowly drift away from a platform. Sometimes for weeks, months, or years in this case. Then I’ll drift back. Kind of like a scrap of wood on the waves.

In the time I’ve been gone life has been...interesting. The source of the stress that caused me to awaken in the first place is gone. He OD’d in...2014? 2015? Some time around there. My grasp of time is worse than ever.

We hadn’t even known he’d be using anything. Turned out he was stealing my late father’s remaining fentanyl supply. One of those guys who preys on widows like my mother. He lied about everything. His entire past as we knew it was a lie. And he was just leeching off of us.

It was...hard. I was the one who found his body upon getting home from work. My mother is still traumatized, even now. Even after all he did. She did love him.

I think all that hardened me quite a bit. And I’m sad for it. I’m still trying to soften myself again, but my trust has never been shattered like that before or since.

My now health is...poor. I had a great job working at an independent pack-and-mail sort of place for a few years. Very laid back, when the customers were nice. Helped me build a lot of strength and muscle. Quite enjoyed showing off by hefting 50lb boxes onto my shoulders. Helped me feel less weak in this squishy human body of mine.

But about...2 or 3 years ago [again, time is a myth to my brain] I woke up and my shoulders were just.

Locked.

It felt like someone had stuck paint spanners under my shoulder blades or something. Not only that, but I was weak. I barely had the strength in my arms to lift a half gallon of milk in the morning.

We thought I’d just hurt myself showing off, somehow. So we gave it some time. Took ibuprofen, used pain creams. Took a few days off work.

But it didn’t get better. It got painful. And the moreso. And moreso. And then my back began to have trouble as well. It was spreading. I felt...ill.

So. Doctors. Tests. More bloodwork than I’ve ever had in my entire life. [10 vials at once for one appt!]

My primary, who is a garbage person I never wish to see again, insisted it was just a sprain. Or something. Whatever. But I knew it wasn’t. My mother knew it wasn’t. Everyone I knew knew it wasn’t.

Specialist time! At the behest of my cousin, who has a litany of autoimmune disorders, we hooked up with a rheumatologist. Who I will call Dr.M.

Dr.M is an angel on Earth. I am convinced of it. A full year he spent with me, ordering tests, trying treatments, working with me to figure out what the hell was going on. And we did. And what a mouthful it is.

Ankylosing spondylitis. No, it’s not a dinosaur. [Though I do think I’m ‘hearted for ankylosaurines...I don’t think it’s related lol!]

You can look it up if you like. But basically: My immune system is fucking crazy and attacks all the things. Most places describe it as being a lower spine disorder, and while that is certainly where its centralized in most folks, that’s not all it is.

For example mine is, obviously, centralized in my shoulders and upper back. But it does aaaaaaaaaaall sorts of crazy shit. Every day is different. Joint pain, exhaustion, GI trouble, stomach upset, lack of appetite, murderous migraines. The usual for an autoimmune illness. But also wacky shit like costochondritis [painful inflammation of the cartilage of the ribs], random organ inflammation like in my kidneys [not fun], lungs [I had a 3-month stint of chronic bronchitis last winter], and even my heart [very not fun.] Sometimes it likes to attack my “integumentary system” aka shit like my skin and hair meaning I’ll have weeks where my hair just. Sheds. Like a damn cat. It gets everywhere and w/ my long-ass quarantine hair it’s so annoying.

This attack dog immune system does mean it’s unlikely for me to catch little bugs like your common colds and stuff, which is appreciated. But it also likes to maul anything else it deems foreign. Like medication! I took Humira shots for a few months and had a “paradoxical reaction” aka it did the literal opposite of what it was meant to, because the injections pissed off my immune system so much it went scorched-earth on whatever it could. Mostly my thighs, since that’s where the injections were. I still get stabbing pain in them and it’s been over a year. [No, I don’t think I can sue Humira over this. Though I have discussed it w/ my Dr.]

This also means that if I do get sick, it’s bad news. Something strong and unique like COVID? Death. Deaaaaaaaaath. Would likely trigger something called a “cytokine storm” aka my immune system nukes everything and my organs die and so do I.

So guess whoooooooo’s been locked up at home for almost a full year now? :’)

I luckily am able to work from home, though it barely pays the bills, and my health has suffered from a lack of being able to Do Stuff I normally would.

As a result I decided to get back in touch with myself.

It started with Second Life, because of course it did. A new dragon avatar came out. Shiny and mesh and easy [by SL standards] to modify. So me and a few friends [some kin, some not] made a group for sharing stuff for the av and just hanging out. It’s fallen by the wayside unfortunately but those nights spent chilling in SL with a bunch of other dragons roaring and goofing off felt really really good.

And then I made a kin Twitter. [And found some exceptionally cool kinfolk in the process.]

Then came Othercon the virtual otherkin convention and OtherConnect, the Discord spawned from the community that rapidly formed within the con. Othercon felt incredible. Panels and lectures about the history of otherkinity and alterhumanity and how we are today and rep in the media and just so! Much! Cool! Stuff! And tons of great kinfolk too!

To not only be within a community but seeing others like me and speaking with them, not just typing back at words on a screen. It was...so very, very reaffirming. It felt like a second awakening almost. I wanted to cry for finally, truly not feeling alone.

And now I’m here. Because I need to be. Because something, deep down, is telling me I’m going to be needing myself sometime soon. So I’d better get started.

I hope I don’t drift away on the tide again. I’ve missed this site, worse for wear as it is.

But I’m a bit tired today. A nasty headache lingering from yesterday’s nastier flare up. Accursed cold fronts. I used to enjoy them but not so much these days. Ah well.

I know there wasn’t much kin talk in this first entry, but as I said, we had a lot of catching-up to do!

#Diary 2021 #dragonkin #otherkin #I'll tag these for now but if folks would rather I didn't I'll keep them to myself. :>

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burnedbyshoto · 5 years

Note

Some fluff hc for shouto with a s/o who lip sync love songs to him

todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: pure fluff

word count: 1,665

A/N: i loved this request so much as soon as i started actually writing it out, like ngl at first i was like OMG HOW DO I WRITE THIS, but i figured it out. anyways i now how over 200+ followers and that has me Q U A K I N G so i wanna do something fun for all you people i manipulated into liking me LOL, i hope you enjoy anon! please let me know if you do :D (edited because song lyrics messed up on mobile)

if you had to be known as something in class 1-a, it would be for your ability to effortlessly perform karaoke ((even if you weren’t that good of a singer, you were entertaining)) and the classes bimonthly lip-sync challenge extravaganza champion

you had won five out of the eight competitions, not that you were keeping tracks or anything

you just loved the energy of a good lip-sync, it was basically acting for people like you and your peers who were not made to be movie stars

so it really did not surprise anyone when you joined the baku-squad to randomly approach your fellow classmates, and school mates and break out in a flashmob type performance, only with lip-syncing (minus bakugou because he refused to even participate in these actions)

so the second you began unironically lip-syncing at every time of the day, your boyfriend shouto was both ready, and not ready in the slightest

it started off small

when you and shouto had planned a date to go off-campus and plain and simply “get lost”

shouto knew immediately he had made a mistake when he asked you if there were any plans tonight so the two of you could go out, and you squealed pulling out your phone and picked a great song

“Do you got plans tonight, baby? I was hoping I could get lost in your paradise. The only thing I’m thinking ‘bout is you and I, And I-I-I can’t get you off my mind, Can’t get you off my mind. I can’t seem to get you off my mind, yeah. Let’s get lost tonight, Let’s get lost tonight, Baby, you and I can’t seem to get you off my mind. Let’s get lost tonight.”

you dramatized your actions as Shawn Mendes voice filled his room.

“well, if I’m being honest, maybe I should date him instead…”

“TODOROKI-KUN!”

it then happened again a few days later, you had been baking with the girls in preparation of midterms because sweets always helped make the suffering the tiniest bit more bearable.

you, however, needed to study, and despite shouto’s everyone’s disproval, you still were actively participating in baking when you and mina weren’t busy trying to contract salmonella by eating the different batters when momo and tsu weren’t looking

“y/l/n, you need to study…” shouto spoke as he watched you spill the contents of the flour bag into a measuring cup for momo

you shook your head defiantly, already knowing that your boyfriend was going to come down and tell you to leave and so you were ready, so you merely raised your phone,

“But girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just want to have, That’s all they really want. Some fun. When the working day is done. Oh, girls, they wanna have fun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun.”

you playfully danced around the kitchen as your lips never stopped moving in synch to the lyrics, and you made your way over to shouto, a grin on your face

pressing a kiss to his cheek you giggle, “I’ll be up once we put everything in to bake, I promise!”

as soon as you had returned to shouto’s room to study, he was giving you a very judgmental look as you kissed him, a smirk on your face as you clicked play

“y/l/n, I swear if you play what I think you’re going to–”

“Oh no, not I, I will survive. Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive. I’ve got all my life to live, And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive. I will survive!!!!!!!”

you wiggled your eyebrows at shouto who accurately assumed what song you’d lip sync for him

shouto stared at you, a complete deadpan

as you laughed in supreme joy of getting the boy annoyed, the laughter turned into shrieks as shouto launched himself towards you, tickling your sides

“I WILL SURVIVE!!!” you cackle in between gasps of breath as he kisses you softly

weeks later, you held yourself in attempt to bring warmth to yourself in your cold room because even with two blankets and the heater on, you were cold

stupid winter

deciding to risk getting caught by night owls like kaminari and sero, you snuck into shouto’s room where he was writing a letter, most likely to his mother because he hadn’t had the time to go see her recently

“wow, the old man is still up!” you say in honest shock and complete playful mockery

“now I regret staying up so late, I have a crackhead in my room.” shouto responds back and your jaw drops

he was so good being witty, it was unfair

“shouto, I’m cold.”

“I don’t feel cold.”

“wanna dance with me?”

“I don’t really want my feet to be stepped on…”

you puffed your cheeks out in mild frustration as a knowing smirk sat on shouto’s face, he had gotten too good at detecting when you would serenade him with another lip-sync, but even if he had deflated your joy in annoying him, you still played the song

“yeah, im still playing with it, deal with it!”

“Oh, I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody. Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody, With somebody who loves me. Oh, I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody. Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody, With somebody who loves me.“

you smile contently as shouto allows you to snuggle up close to him as the two of you sway slowly in his room and you realize quickly how less cold you feel

“are you using your quirk?” you whisper into his chest unsure if the heat now flooding your system was created by shouto, or caused by him

“hm, no. do you want me to?”

you smile and shake your head, “I’m perfect right now.”

it’s your guys’ graduation ceremony, and as an old tradition, your class was going to go out all together. it was mina’s choice and so she chose for the class to go dancing at some club for 18+-year-olds.

you stood ready in your favorite partying outfit knowing that tonight was going to be one of the final nights where you would not be obsessed with hero work and would be with your high school family like this

you were scrolling through your phone looking for a song that you wanted to lip-sync to shouto before you all left because it had been weeks since you had an epiphany and you hadn’t gathered the nerve to tell him it yet

“Hey, y/l/n-chan, can you go get todoroki? he’s the only one not down here yet.” mina asked and you nodded your hand

“you guys can go.” you insisted as you had found the perfect song, “we’ll catch up!”

the class nodded knowing that the two of you weren’t the type to hookup during the time and so they left taking most of the part excitement with them

gathering your nerve, you climbed up the stairs to shouto’s room, your phone grasped in your hand

you walked in on shouto wearing a pair of plain black slacks and a simple white T-shirt that was snuggly fitted, and you choked on your tongue at his appearance

shouto glanced over at you and smiled, “what song is it? I’m not really aware of any hurry-up-now-please songs.”

with a shaky finger, you pressed play on the song, tucking away the phone and walked towards shouto who turned and looked at you in near disbelief

“Wise men say only fools rush in, But I can’t help falling in love with you. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin If I can’t help falling in love with you? Like a river flows surely to the seaDarling, so it goesSome things are meant to beTake my hand, take my whole life tooFor I can’t help falling in love with you. Like a river flows surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, Some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too, For I can’t help falling in love with you, For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

you break away from shouto who you had wrapped your arms delicately around his shoulders as you managed to sing along with the song, a blush staining your entire face, tears misting in both of your eyes

“I-i’ve fallen in love with you.”

and poor shouto has no idea what to say, so instead, he reacts

he places a kiss to your lips as he holds you close

“I’m in love with you, too.”

I honestly had sooo much fun with this??? I love doing lip-synch during finals week because the stress of everything really makes songs entertaining to perform!!! songs are listed here by order of appearance: is Lost In Japan by Shawn Mendes, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper, I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) by Whitney Houston, and Can’t Help Falling In Love by Kina Grannis. (((its the cover from Crazy Rich Asians and I love that cover, fight me)))

bonus!

it had been four years since graduating and shouto was getting ready to propose and the entire class 1-a was waiting for shouto to arrive

“how do you think he’s going to do it?” uraraka sighs dreamily as she stares at her engagement ring on her own finger

“better not be fucking stupid.” bakugou mutters from the opposite end of the room

“I don’t know about you guys, but if shouto doesn’t propose by lip-synching ‘Marry Me’ by Jason Derulo, or ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran, I think I deserve to take y/n from him.” kaminari joked as he remembered that old playful thing you and everyone else were semi-obsessed about

“I’ll take some of that action!” mina laughs

everyone quiets up as shouto walks in, “so, I have an idea. I hope you guys like it…”

#todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki headcanons #todoroki fluff #bnha writing blog #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha todoroki #bnha headcanons #mha #mha x reader #mha headcanons #mha todoroki

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accidentally-logince · 5 years

Text

Partners in Crime [2]

Heck yeah! Less than a week since the last chapter, I’m actually making progress!

Warnings for mentions of food, mentions of eating disorders (nothing explicitly said, just heavily implied) and crying. I think that’s everything but tell me if there’s anything else that you need tagged!

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Winter couldn't bring himself to ignore Ronen. In the past, he'd always pushed away people that he grew attached to--maybe that was why he hung out with people who didn't care about him--but every time he refused to answer a text his chest hurt. He let out a a sigh, picking up his phone and rereading the messages that Ronen had sent him. Hey, wanna go out? Like hang out I mean, not like a date lol Winter? At the last message, Winter's heart gave a tug. He cast a quick glance at the clock: only noon. His dad wouldn't be home until eight. He tapped on the conversation. Sorry, I was busy for a bit I think I'd like to hang out Winter's fingers trembled over the keyboard, but before he sent the message he deleted it. It sounded too dorky. He re-typed it as We can go out, yeah. Then, before he could stop himself, he added I actually have something I wanted to tell you and hit send before he could rethink. His heart started pounding. Was he really ready to tell Ronen how he felt? Wait, but he probably liked girls. Why did Winter forget the possibility that Ronen was straight? ? And what's that Winter wasn't ready. Not just yet. He needed to figure out how to say it. I want to tell you in person. That should buy him some time. But what happened if Ronen thought he was gross? Oh, God, Winter could handle a rejection if they were still friends, but if he never got to see Ronen again? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Alright. I pick you up in an hour to go to the mall? Oh, and curse the way Winter's heart jumped at that. Yeah. See you then. The hour before Ronen picked him up mostly consisted of Winter staring at the ceiling as he lay on his bed, figuring out what he was going to say. Would he say sorry? No, he couldn't apologize. Not for being gay. It wasn't like he could help it. What happened if it became awkward? God, how did people come out? He wouldn't cry. Winter decided that and told himself very firmly. Whatever happened, he didn't want to cry over this., He didn't want Ronen to think he was scared of himself. Of being gay. Even if part of him maybe was. By the time one o'clock rolled around, Winter had decided on the words he wanted to use. How he would say them. He decided that his feelings for Ronen could wait; Winter didn't want to scare him off by coming out and then immediately saying he had a crush on him. No. Today was just coming out. He just needed to tell someone, and his journal pages were not enough of an outlet. If they were still friends afterwards, Winter could tell Ronen his feelings another time. It wasn't like there was a time limit. Or maybe there was, he didn't know. All he knew was that he was stressed, and he needed to not overwhelm himself. Winter took in a deep breath, steadying his trembling body like Ronen had showed him on that first day. When the knock finally came at the front door, Winter had calmed himself down. He was used to people disliking him, so really, it wouldn't change much if Ronen didn't accept him. It would hurt. It would definitely hurt, but it wouldn't be anything new. Plus, anything better than that would be a pleasant surprise. Winter rushed down the stairs, trying not to clutch the handle too hard with nerves as he swung the door open. "Ready to go?" "Yeah..." Today was the first day that Winter had seen Ronen since realizing his feelings--he'd tried to hide away so as not to scare Ronen off--and now it was hard not to pay attention to the warm smile that Ronen was looking at him with, or to stop his heart from jumping when he grabbed winter's hand to walk together to his bike, and oh jeez, Winter was going to have to hold onto him for the drive-- "Everything good?" Winter snapped out of his thoughts and nodded, putting on his helmet and climbing into the seat behind Ronen, wrapping his arms around him. His fingers curled in the fabric of Ronen's hoodie. The ride was over too soon, and Winter found that the nervous feeling in his stomach coiled tighter with each step they took. He'd committed to telling Ronen, and given that Winter was a terrible liar, he wouldn't be able to chicken out and make up something else to tell him. "Did you have something to eat before we came?" Winter almost didn't reply, too caught up in his thoughts. He said "no" absentmindedly, but realized what had come out of his mouth when Ronen grabbed his hand. "Let's grab lunch. This'll be the first time we eat together, right? I swear, I haven't seen you eat before. You guys have dinner after your dad gets home, right?" "Uh, yeah... yeah, when my dad gets home..." Ronen frowned, turning to face Winter. "Are you okay?" "I'm just, um..." Winter bit his lip. He was not good at lying, He settled on "nervous." "Nervous about what you wanted to tell me?" Ronen asked. "Yes," Winter agreed, a bit too fast. Lying was especially difficult when Ronen was looking at him like that, with genuine concern in his eyes. But then his expression softened. "It's okay. You can take all the time you need before you tell me. And if that means you never do, that's okay too. It's up to you entirely if you want me to know." Winter felt something warm sprout in his chest. Were people usually supposed to be this nice, or had he just gotten lucky when finding Ronen? "C'mon, let's get you something to eat." And like that, Winter's stomach dropped. "Oh, uh, it's okay, I'm not hungry." "But didn't you say you haven't eaten?" Ronen's brow furrowed. "Butterflies," Winter said, trying to cover his tracks. "In my stomach, just... nervous." Nerves gave people nausea. "It'll still be good to get a little bit of food into your system. It's not good for you to not eat anything all day." Ronen grabbed Winter's hand and they walked together to the food court, Winter trying to hide his shaky hand. Luckily the one in Ronen's own wasn't noticeably trembling. Winter was overwhelmed by all the colours and smells in the food court. With the overload, he barely heard Ronen ask what he wanted. "I never get fast food," Winter responded blankly. "Well, there's a bit of everything. Burgers, pizza, chicken, y'know." "Those are all so greasy." And full of calories, probably, Winter added in his head. "Just... you get something, I'm okay." Ronen frowned. "Are you sure you're doing alright?" Winter nodded tightly, but Ronen didn't seem satisfied. He pulled Winter away from the crowded area, walking slowly with him until they found a quiet, empty hallway, and Winter collapsed to the floor, head in his hands as he leaned against the wall. "I didn't want to ruin this," Winter whispers into his hands. "I'm sorry..." He felt lightheaded. More so than usual, This wasn't going how he wanted it to. "You didn't ruin anything, it's alright," Ronen said softly. "I'm just worried about you. Whatever it is that you want to say, it's bugging you. A lot. I need you to know that you don't have to tell me. If your nerves are because you feel like you have to, I promise you don't. I really don't want you to stress if you're--" "I'm gay." Ronen blinked, leaning back from where he'd been holding Winter gently by the shoulders. Winter was tearing up, and he tried desperately to blink the tears back as his eyes drifted away, ashamed of himself. "I'm gay," he repeated. "And I was scared to tell you, because I thought you would hate me. You're the first real friend I've had, and I really don't want you to hate me." "Winter..." "Please don't. I don't want pity." This wasn't going according to plan. Winter was nearly sobbing now, that was the one thing he didn't want. Everything was screwed up. And what was Ronen thinking right now? What was he going to say? "No, listen. I don't want to give you pity. I just wanted to say that you're really brave. You told me when you were scared, and I'm really proud." He wipes a tear from Winter's cheek, and he hopes Ronen doesn't notice the way that he almost chases the contact when Ronen's hand moves away. "Can I tell you a secret?" Winter nodded slowly. "I'm gay too." Winter's eyes went wide, and he lifted his head back up. "Wait, what? But you're so cool!" Then he stuttered out, "uh, I didn't mean, like, y'know, I'm just... I'm... going to shut up now." Ronen laughed, and it was the sweetest sound Winter had ever heard. He felt the tips of his ears heat up. "Well, I'm glad you think I'm cool," Ronen said jokingly. "I actually just figured out I was gay a little bit ago. But, yeah. Don't worry about it. I don't hate you, and I'm happy you trusted me enough to tell me." "Do you think we could go home?" Winter asked quietly. "I think I just want to relax right now." Ronen nodded, offering his hand for Winter to stand up with him. Maybe that didn't go how Winter expected, but he was happy with the end result. Winter collapsed onto his bed when they got back to his house. The clock told them it was half past two. "Can I make us something to eat?" Ronen asked. "My dad will notice if the kitchen is messy," Winter said. He saw Ronen opening his mouth to say something else, and he said, "I'll eat something today. Please don't worry." "Is there any way we could eat something without your dad knowing I was here? You really do need to eat, I know what it's like to be hungry." 'No you don't,' is the first thing that pops into Winter's head, but he pushes it away. "Give me a minute," he says instead. It had been awhile since Winter had searched through the cupboards like this. Force of habit from his childhood had him closing everything silently, even though he knew his dad wasn't home. He made sure to grab things that his dad wouldn't notice were gone--things that had too many pieces to count. He carefully filled a bowl, making a mental note to clean it out and put it back in its place before his dad got back. Winter heard a drawer closing as he opened his door, and found Ronen sitting on his bed. "What was that?" Winter asked, shutting the door behind him. "I was just looking around a little bit." Something seemed off about Ronen's smile, but Winter kept his mouth shut. Like Ronen had said before, Winter only had to tell him things if he wanted to, and Winter figured he should give that same respect to Ronen. He sat on the bed and put the bowl between them It was a mixture of random things; a sort of demented trail mix that he almost thought Ronen would get upset at him for, but when Winter took a couple small bits from the mix and ate them Ronen looked happy. "I'm probably not going to stay much longer, my parents want me home for dinner," Ronen says. "Promise you'll try to eat later too, okay?" A heavy feeling settled in Winter's stomach. Ronen didn't usually act like this, something was wrong. "You're not upset at me are you?" Winter asked softly. "No, of course not," Ronen said, and this time Winter could tell that his smile was sincere. The last half hour was spent chatting mindlessly as they both ate from the bowl. Winter took small bits, and in the back of his mind he was worried even that would be too much for him. He wanted to stop, but every time he ate something Ronen would give him this soft smile that Winter just wanted to see forever. Today had gone well. Winter was surprised that he'd been able to come out to Ronen--to anybody, really--just days after his realization. Maybe Ronen was right. Maybe he was brave. And by the time Ronen said goodbye and drove off, Winter was calm. Things were going well! And Ronen was gay! Of course, that didn't solidify anything, bu with the stress gone from Winter's body for now, he couldn't help hoping that maybe this meant he had a chance. Winter went back to his room, a soft smile settling on his face as he opened his drawer. He wanted to write in his journal, this was something that the pages would be enough for him. But when he flipped to the last page with writing on it, he found a passage written in unfamiliar black ink.

---

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#my ocs #my characters #ronen koster #winter naven #eating disorder tw #my writing

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sunlightdances · 5 years

Text

ONE SHOTS:

SPN Angst Bingo ‘18 Masterlist Dean Headcanons/Bullet point Fics

Newest on top; updated 2/2/2021

Untitled (literally couldn’t think of a title for this lol): PG-13 for swearing She came out of nowhere, knocked him on his ass, and then asked him to apologize. How hard did he hit his head?

Body Language: PG-13 Low blood sugar sucks. Dean’s POV.

Everybody Knows I’m Torn Apart: PG-13 You manage to call Dean a few miles away from the bunker. Despite your injuries, you tell him the basics: you lost too much blood, you need a ride, you’re pretty sure you’re going to pass out soon. His gruff voice over the phone is the last thing you hear before you physically can’t keep your eyes open anymore.

Two Hearts on Fire: PG-13 3 times Dean is there for you and one time you’re able to return the favor.

Stay a Little Longer: PG You let yourself be vulnerable and Dean does too.

You’re an Ocean: PG The never ending push and pull between you and Dean finally comes to an end.

Take My Hand (When You Can’t See the Light): PG-13 (a few swears) Dean plays the knight in shining armor when you meet him by chance. Turns out you’ll meet him several more times. Everything happens for a reason, right?

Winter Air: PG Contrary to popular belief, Dean is a big softy who loves winter.

Slow Days: PG Dean meets you on a slow, lazy day in Lebanon at Christmas.

Come Home: PG Dean comes to your door in the middle of the night. it’s a good thing, too, because you’re gearing up for a fight.

Don’t Go Changing: PG-13 It was never supposed to end up like this. You find out the truth about Dean Winchester.

Dog Days: PG-13 (for violence) Dean rescues a dog and ends up being the one rescued.

Helping Hand: PG After recovering from an injury, you’re having a hard time getting back into fighting form. Dean helps you through it.

Sun Warmed: PG He sits on the edge of the table, watching you as you flit about the room, grabbing a mug, some coffee creamer, and sugar. You wait for him to make a comment about how sweet you like your coffee, but it never comes. Another sign that he’s not entirely himself today.

Untitled drabble: PG Someone is carrying you. Your head jostles until it finds purchase against a broad shoulder, and in your daze you can make out a conversation - though you’re not able to make sense of anything being said.Someone is urging you to open your eyes, You want to do what they ask, you want to ask questions, but you’re so tired.

I’ll Be Your Lifeline Tonight: PG Dean shoulders his own burdens. He always has. And truth be told, it comforted you to think he had it under control. Dean’s always been the one with the plan, the one who knew what to do next. Now that he doesn’t… you can’t lie, it freaks you out. But you have to help him right now. If the tables were turned, he’d do the same for you.

Untitled: PG You stop mid-sentence as you come around the corner into the rec room, seeing him fast asleep on the sofa. There’s a magazine on his lap and a few other books strewn around him, and while this isn’t really that out of the ordinary for him, it’s the glasses tucked into his collar that draw your attention.

It Echoes a Spark: PG-13 “I was on my way home. Traveling. Saw I was driving through town and thought… well, it’s almost our anniversary.” He winks, and it’s amazing how you’re not a puddle of goo right there on the floor.

Wrapped Up in Your Love: Rated PG @sixtysevenandwhiskey asked for: “i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”

Snow & Scarves: Rated PG @lipstickandwhiskey said “I gotta see you do “PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF” because SWOON” and I mean, same, tbh.

Stay Here Til Sunrise: Rated T “You’re making a mental checklist of everything you need to do when you finally stop somewhere - the first thing being calling Sam to let him know his brother got his arm broken trying to be a goddamn hero again, followed closely by getting to a bathroom where Dean can’t see you as you try to calm the fuck down.”

Bruised Hearts: Rated T She sort of, kind of, probably hates him. He tells himself it’s for the best.

Just Let Me Try: Rated T You get in a car accident not far from Dean’s shop and go to him for help. Mechanic!AU. Dean’s POV.

On Your Mark, Get Set, Bake: PG Dean discovers your guilty pleasure TV show.

I Remember Loving You: PG-13 When you think you’re in trouble, you go to Sam and Dean for help, despite the fact that you and Dean haven’t spoken or seen each other face to face in months.

Bright Lights Won’t Leave Me Alone: PG-13 Prompt: “We got involved in a fight at a bar and had to share the night in the same jail cell”

If It Keeps You By My Side: PG-13 The reader reveals something to Dean that turns his world upside down. Written for Annie’s 300 Follower Grand Budapest Motel Challenge!

One More Hour: PG Dean’s tired and can’t hide it from you no matter how hard he tries.

Danger Always Was a Friend of Mine: PG-13 You get stuck driving through a huge storm on your way to the bunker. Dean reacts in a way you don’t expect.

Run, Run, Run Away: PG-13 Dean calls you to go on a hunt he’d otherwise have to take solo. It takes quite a turn.

Lost Hope, Can’t Cope: PG-13 Dean helps you when your anxiety, stress, and everything else jumbled up in your head becomes too much. Alternates between the reader and Dean’s POV.

One Way to Shut You Up: PG A good, old-fashioned post-hunt celebration gives you the courage you finally need.

Now Close Your Eyes: PG You have a hard time letting other people take care of you.

Something About You, I Just Can’t Fight: Rated M You’re pretty sure Dean’s figured out your big, stupid crush on him, and you’re sure it’s only a matter of time before you spontaneously combust.

Loving Everything You Do: Rated T The washer broke. It’s not your fault that the only thing near you at the time was some of Dean’s clothes, okay.

Heavy Heart and a Heavy Mind: Rated T A badly-timed wish on your part and a curse from a witch has you and Dean reconsidering the nature of your relationship. Written for SPN Angst Bingo.

Let the Lonely In: Rated T After a bad day and a sleepless night, the reader and her insecurities are her own worst enemy.

Someone Throw a Lifeline: Rated T While wrapping up a case, Sam and Dean get a weird phone call that has Dean assuming the worst.

Everything You Are: PG Dean’s POV. Dean discovers the pretty librarian he met on a case is a little more “in the know” than he realized.

You’ve Had Me All Along: Rated M You’re so pissed that you’re even in this situation, your hands are shaking from adrenaline and anger. Huffing to yourself, you grab your phone out of your back pocket and dial one of two numbers you know by heart.

More Heart and Less Attack: Rated T The reader shows up at the bunker after being attacked, hurt and on the verge of a panic attack.

One More Time Before I Fall: Rated T This weird tension between you and Dean had to come to a head sometime, and what better time than when you’re trapped in the Impala with him for a long trip?

Untitled drabble: Rated T Dean has to bail you out of jail during a hunt, and isn’t happy about it when he sees you again.

Untitled drabble: Rated T One ghost down, five to go. You’re on your way to rescue the Winchesters.

Untitled oneshot: Rated PG Prompt: “I have been driving for the last 5 hours and all I want is some god damn beef jerky, so GET YOUR HAND OFF THE LAST PACKAGE ON THE SHELF YOU MAY BE HANDSOME STRANGER, BUT NO ONE IS STANDING IN BETWEEN ME AND THAT SALTY SNACK”

Breaks Your Heart Like Lovers Do: Rated PG Anon asked for a angsty fic based on “Happier” by Ed Sheeran. Don’t worry - there’s a happy ending!

Untitled Angst Day drabble: Rated T You’ve been hiding your feelings towards Dean for months, and when you guys have the biggest fight you can ever remember having, you reach a breaking point.

Seeing Eye to Eye and Heart to Heart: Rated T You get hurt on a hunt, and afterwards, Dean starts acting real weird.

Can’t Get You Close Enough: Rated M Dean tears into you after a hunt goes bad, causing you to have a panic attack. He makes a confession to your after, about why seeing you hurt makes him react that way.

I’ll Be Back, Give It Time: Rated M While you’re struggling with your feelings for Dean, you have your first fight.

Untitled drabble: Rated PG. You and Dean have this thing going on. You tease him, he teases you. You don’t expect it to lead to hurt feelings until it does.

Glasses: Rated M. Dean wears those glasses. You have feels.

Lately: Rated M (Dean POV, third person) Dean reflects on his feelings for the reader.

Now And Then I Get A Little Lost: Rated M (mild smut) Established relationship with Dean x Reader. The two of you run into Cassie on a hunt, and seeing Dean’s ex brings up some insecurities.

Got The Flu: Rated M Dean takes care of you when you’re sick, and confessions come in dramatic fashion. You know the drill.

Enough For Now: Rated M (mild smut, language) You haven’t seen Dean in over a year, and the scruff he’s sporting now is doing things to you.

Valentine’s Day oneshot: Rated M. Pure smut. Dean wears that coat. You know the one.

Don’t You Forget About Me: Rated M. Post 12x11. You help Sam figure out how to get rid of Dean’s curse. He doesn’t remember you, but he remembers something.

Untitled oneshot: Rated M (barely any smut, rated for language + dirty talk) The gang have a hunt at the zoo. What could go wrong?

Best Friends?: Rated M Prompt: “We’re best friends and I’ve been in love with you forever and I’m 30000% sure you only see me as a friend, except why is there all this tension rn?

Family Ties: Rated M (mild smut) You didn’t know your stepmom was a witch, okay. It’s not your fault you’ve got a coven on your tail. It’s also not your fault that Dean Winchester hates witches so much.

Untitled drabble: Rated M. Prompt was “comfort” - Dean comforts the reader after a hunt goes wrong and causes her to have nightmares.

Sooner Or Later: Rated M. Prompt was “touch”. Tension relief.

It’s So Clear Now: Rated M. You run into the Winchesters after a few months hunting alone, and when you get hurt, Dean takes care of you. This is a long one - 5K.

You Look Good in My Shirt: Rated M. You borrow Dean’s sweater and it causes him to finally make a move.

You’re A Sight For Sore Eyes: Rated PG. Based on a prompt. Dean helps you sleep when you’re dealing with some anxiety.

The More I’m Gone, The More Things Change: Rated T. You go with the Winchesters to LA to hopefully help them ice Lucifer.

They Call It The Season Of Giving (I’m Here, Yours For The Taking): Rated PG You get a little emotional exchanging Christmas gifts with Dean.

It’s The Same For Me: Rated T. You mess up on a hunt and Dean calls you out for it. Resentful of being treated like a kid, you lash out.

Missing You: Rated T. You and Dean are alone in the bunker for a night when you surprise him with a visit. He’s missed you.

Untitled drabble: Rated T. Dean is so protective of you, it makes you crazy. You fight, and then make out.

Don’t Look Back: Rated T, sequel to “Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghosts”. Dean shows up unannounced to make sure you’re safe as he and Sam investigate some demon signs near your home.

Rescue Drabble: Rated T Sam and Dean rescue you after a close call while hunting, and afterwards, Dean’s guilt leads to a confession.

Happy To See Me?: Rated M (light smut in this one). Imagine seeing Dean for the first time in months, and him not being able to hide how happy he is to see you.

Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghosts: Rated M. You’re not happy when the Winchester brothers show up to steal your hunt, no matter how cute you think the older one is.

PROMPT FICS:

Dean + “dance with me” / “I’ve always loved you”

Dean + “Can you walk?”

Platonic Dean + Lisa being jealous

Dean + “I’d sooner die than deny my feelings for you”

Dean + “You look terrible”

Dean + “No, wait, please. Can’t we talk?”

Dean + “I belong with you”

Dean + chocolate

Dean + fear

Dean + nicknames

Dean + morning routine

Dean + playing with hair

Dean+ fireplace

#sunlightdances masterlist #sunlightdances dean oneshots

331 notes · View notes

raiswriting · 6 years

Text

muse

request: art major!reader w law major!doyoung pls :cc bullet note format if u can!!!

a/n: he’s a year older than you but it doesn’t matter that much

warning: a few swear words oopsie

genre: fluffy college!au

pairing: doyoung x reader

summary: ummm basically just how you and doyoung meet and get to know each other

word count: 5.1k (oops)

lets GOOOOOOOO

okay so basically college has been a JOURNEY

people ALWAYS had some shit to say as soon as they found out you were an art major

it was usually “what are you going to do with that” “do you know how unsteady that career path is”

liKE I GET IT

do they really think they’re telling you something new????

oh I’m sorry your majoring in business Susan™ and you decide to throw away your passions just because some high school counselor told you that you wouldn’t be able to support yourself but IM going to make my passion a career

lol sorry I have a lot of feelings

now onto how you met your mans doyoung

your freshman and sophomore years, you had only seen him in passing

tbh you barely recognized him when you saw him more than once

you knew him as “that one dude that i always see in the dining hall wearing suits”

then junior year you got a job at the convenience store on campus (lets get this BREAD)

pls tell me it isn’t some weird niche thing that only my school has

aNyWHO he started coming in around 2 am right before closing

and ALWAYS picked up 3 coffees all of which had double shots of espresso

this happened about 2 or 3 times a week

(which is very unhealthy guys gals and nonbinary pals pls try to drink cold water instead, it helps wake me up or green tea)

so despite seeing him so often at work, he began to appear less and less everywhere else

were you lowkey kinda sad about it???

mAYhaPS

that was until winter quarter started

you needed an elective class, SO you figured ‘eh why not take philosophy’ you had heard around that the professor is really chill and overall the class wasn’t supposed to be that bad

WELL GUESS AGAIN

because that really nice professor that everyone loved isn’t the one teaching the class this quarter

but hey you figured let’s go into this with an open mind and hope for the best

well on day one of this class (which is a 9 am by the way) guess who struts through the door

mister “that one guy i’d always see wearing a suit” who became mister “that one dude who always buys too much coffee at 3 am”

the man… the myth…… the legend………….MISTER KIM DOYOUNG

yep and ya boi decided to sit 2 seats down from you, it was too far to say hi or anything (esp bc you had never really spoken to him before) but like he was also just close enough for it to be awkward

so class went by normally you found out that the new professor wasn’t THAT bad but there was definitely gonna be a lot of work involved

so yeah life carries on as normal

you still see him all the time at the convenience store

one night it had been a particularly rough shift

your alarm didn’t go off, so you were running late, it had started to rain on your walk to work, and when you finally got there your manager apparently had someone piss in his cheerios because he had S U C H an attitude because you were

TWO

MINUTES

LATE

you were sat behind the counter after what felt like hours of sweeping and mopping the floors

that’s when he walked in

you didn’t even lift your head to greet him as “hi, welcome” crawled itself out of your mouth

you did however notice when he sat his 3 cans of coffee in front of you

“hey your y/n right?”

“that’s what it says on my nametag”

“haha yeah it does. i think i have you in my philosophy class”

when you finally met his eyes, you felt a little bad

you had kinda been giving him the cold shoulder for something that wasn’t his fault

you gave him a little smile

“yeah i am. doyoung right?”

he nodded slightly

the air was a little awkward and silent as you scanned his coffees

as you handed him the receipt he asked “hey do you maybe want to study together sometime. i mean our test is in like two weeks and it’s a quarter of our grade so like if you were free we could hang out and get some work done?”

dUDE you froze

here he was standing right in front of you; messy hair, sweatpants, a sweatshirt repping your school logo and looking very nervous (but very attractive lmao)

i guess your reply took a little too long because he quickly started to back peddle

“i mean if you prefer to study alone that’s cool. i just always see you during lecture and you look like you understand the material and sometimes i get a little lost in terminology but if you don’t want to that’s fine too.”

you quickly snapped out of your haze

“no, no. i would love to study with you. here let me give you my number so we can meet up. most of my classes are in the morning so any time after like noon should be fine.”

you grabbed his receipt back and quickly scribbled your number on it before handing it back

“just text me when you want to get together”

okay honestly you had never been one to give out your phone number just like that and you didn’t really like studying with people

but something about him made it so hard to say no

you just had this urge to get to know him

so when he texted you a few days later asking if you were free to study that night

of course you said yes

and it went pretty smoothly

he has a much better understanding of the material than he let on at first

he even ended up helping you understand a few things

you got together w few times over the next couple of weeks

each time you met you got to know each other more and more

yall quickly became friends

well yall became friends after the first night studying because lets be real it was awKWARD

like neither of you felt particularly comfortable yet because this was the first time you had actually hung out with each other despite knowing of each other’s existence for two years

oh yeah that’s something you found out after getting to know one another

he had always seen you around campus and wanted to get to know you but never did because he thought it’d freak you out having a random stranger coming up to you like

‘hey I know you don’t know me but I see you all the time. let’s be friends.’

which isn’t THAT crazy but to each their own

okay but let’s jump to the time 2 days before your exam

you guys agreed to meet up at the library and the plan was to study for A WHILE just to make sure you were prepared ya know?

so like you get there and he was already sitting in a room waiting

when you open the door he gets up to hug you

which he hasn’t ever done before

and like tbh he was really warm and smelled really nice like it his cologne wasn’t too strong, and it smelt sweet but also very inviting which isn’t really a scent but like do you get me? and he gave a really tight hug like the type that you didn’t want to let go of it felt as though you could stay there forever (this is also where you lowkey start having feelings for him but shhh because you don’t realize it yet)

so back the point

obvi you start studying and besides the hug nothing was really that different

you got through the material, quizzed each other, talked a bit

ya know the usual

time flew by and the next thing you know it’s 12:30 am and the library would be closing at 1 so you decide to wrap it up

“alright doyoung i’ll see you in class. get some rest before the test okay?”

“yeah yeah i will” he rolled his eyes a little bit

“seriously dude. i know you. go straight to sleep when you get back to your place”

he worried you sometimes. He really wanted to do well and the applications for law school were opening up soon, so he’s been kinda stressed no matter how much he tried to hide it and this test coming up isn’t helping

“i will. i promise.”

he walked you out of the library and you two would usually part ways and walk alone to your apartments

before you could turn and say goodbye doyoung was already speaking

“hey it’s a lot darker out here than usual”

you looked up at the pitch-black sky

“yeah I guess it is, oh well at least I have my pep-“

“what? you have your pepper spray right?”

“no i forgot that i let my roommate borrow it. she’s going to a sorority thing and won’t be back until like 3 or 4. it’s fine though my apartment is only like a 10-minute walk. goodnight do”

“wait y/n. i’ll walk you back. it’s way too late and too dark for you to go home”

“no i couldn’t ask you to do that. you’re law and society class is at 8 am tomorrow so you need to get some sleep.”

“well i won’t be able to sleep anyway if I’m staying up worried about you. so lead the way.”

despite the cold fall air, your face felt hot

like you know that it’s normal for friends to be worried about each other but that didn’t make doyoung saying it any less charming

the walk back was nerve wracking

you guys normally don’t hang out outside of the context of studying

so like this was weird, nice but weird

and once you go to your door there was a cast of silence

doyoung was just looking at you

normally it would make you kinda uncomfy/insecure but right now you were calm

there was something about looking into his eyes

the brown was so warm and inviting

after a few seconds of the comfortable silence, he finally looked away

and I awkwardly cleared my throat “thank you for walking me home doyoung”

“of course, i’m just gald to know you got here safely”

“so um, i was gonna wish you luck just in case we don’t see each other before the test but i mean judging from our study session you won’t need it though.”

he giggled and i swear someone could have mopped up your heart because it was in a puddle on the floor

“shut up y/n. thank you though. i always appreciate your kind words. do you want to meet for lunch after the exam? i usually have a lab afterwards but it got cancelled so if you’re free we should meet up.” asjdjjklcbclkNCKDLSNCOS

“yeah i am free. i guess i’ll see you then.”

he took a few steps back “yeah i guess you will. goodnight y/n”

“goodnight doyoung. actually get some sleep tonight, yeah?”

you could see his shoulders shake with laughter as he walked down the steps

to say you were smitten would be an UNDERSTATEMENT

the smile that showed up didn’t leave even after you fell asleep

when you get to class on that friday morning, doyoung is already sitting in his usual seat

the bags that usually take their place beneath his eyes are barely visible today

hopefully he took your advice and actually went to sleep

after the test you both got some burgers for lunch and just talked it had nothing to do with the test which was nice

i guess y’all make a great pair because once the scores came out, both of you got A’s

after that studying together became a routine

every tuesday, thursday and saturday leading up to the next test, you guys would review or sometimes just hang out

it was a mutual decision to help each other study

even if you didn’t share the class, one would be there to quiz and make sure the other focused (most of the time it worked, other times you’d be the reason they got distracted and vice versa)

the two of you would go out for lunch on those days instead

as the quarter drew to a close and the break got nearer and nearer as did finals week

you and doyoung tried to keep up with your study schedule but it was getting harder

you had artwork due

you were particularly stressed over a sculpture that was assigned

your teacher gave you those choice of clay or marbleas a medium and clearly you chose clay

you were going to do marble but then you remembered the other 3 tests you need to prepare for and a portfolio that had to fit the theme of mythology

so basically you had a lot of art to produce and NO INSPIRATION like none, zero, zip, zilch, nada

you sat in the room you had reserved in the arts building

a pile of clay sat atop a slab of rock, a blank page of a sketchbook sat next to that

scrolling through pinterest had stopped working long ago and at this point you were losing hope

ring, ring, ring

doyoung’s name popped up on your screen

it was odd because you two usually texted for everything

“hey, do what’s up?”

“hi y/n i was just wondering if you wanted to grab some fro-yo. i just got out of another test and could use some company”

“ahh, doyoung i’m sorry but i’m stuck doing work. do you remember that mythology sculpture i told you about? well, it’s due next Wednesday and i haven’t even started on it yet”

his voice sounded so concerned “is everything okay? how are you doing?”

“i’m doing okay, just tired. i’ve been trying so hard but can’t find any inspiration” you sighed into the phone, looking out the window of your room

“what room are you in?”

“room 247 in building B. why?”

“just sit tight.”

the call ended before you could ask any more questions

okay when i tell yall it was less than five minutes and he was walking through the door just know that what i really mean is he rAN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS TO COME COMFORT YOU

so yeah, he got there huffin and puffin, ready to blow your house down (with love)

“doyoung, what are you doing here?”

“well you were upset.” his tone was so matter-of-fact, and his eyes were so wide and innocent

honestly he looked so cute but like you were still very confused

what was he doing there?????

yeah you were upset but you also didn’t want to worry him

he casually walked over to a seat beside a window and pulled something out of his backpack

as he got closer and reached his hand out for you to take it, you noticed it was a sandwich

“it’s ham and cheese. light mayo, no lettuce or tomato”

when your eyes looked up at him he wouldn’t make eye contact

“you said this is the only way you take your sandwiches”

yALL

you only told him this once in passing because he was eating a sandwich with mayo

but pls tell you are putting the pieces together

he stopped to get you food and made it across campus in 5 minutes

the walk alONE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN 10 MINUTES

HE STOPPED AND GOT YOU FOOD TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN’T SKIPPING ANY MEALS

MARRY THID MANFSJDLFG

alrighty anywho

obviously you took the sandwich and spent 5 minutes thanking him for getting it for you

he sat back down in his seat near the window as you guys chatted for a bit

the conversation slowed slightly and you were able to just look at him

the light was bouncing off his face perfectly

his eyes looked like freshly brewed coffee. they were warm and inviting

his smile somehow managed to outshine the light pouring in

there he was

in all of his glory

your muse

your inspiration

his expression shifted to one of confusion

“y/n, why are you looking at me like that”

he could be your subject for not only the sculpture but also the portfolio as well

“okay this may be an odd favor and you can feel free to say no”

your leg couldn’t stop bouncing up and down and you thought your hands might catch a cramp from all the wringing they were doing

“don’t be silly. what is it?”

“well, i was thinking maybe you could be the model for my sculpture.”

“of course i will but i thought it was supposed to be about mythology and i’m no greek god”

he chuckled a little bit

“shut up do. are you kidding me? your shoulders are like a mile wide. you have a great jawline and that smile? you’d have all the mortal girls falling for you i mean i did. that sounds like god-material to me”

he threw his head back laughing

mostly to hide the huge blush creeping up his cheeks

“okay, okay. i’ll pose for you. what do i have to do?”

“just sit still so that i can take some measurements of your face and then i’ll take some photos for reference afterwards.”

doyoung did as he was told for the most part

he sat there patiently

he kept peeking at your sketchbook as you laid out the rough ideas for a few of your other pieces

tbh you hadn’t even noticed

you were in the ZONE, you hadn’t been this inspired in a while and you wanted to take full advantage of it

you also hadn’t noticed the ,,,, um,,,, lack of space,,,,,, between the two of you

well doyoung had, to say the least

he sat there desperately hoping and praying that you wouldn’t notice how sharply he would breathe in everytime your hands touched his face to move its position

or that you couldn’t notice how much his hands were shaking and how he was constantly wiping them on his pants because they were very sweaty

finally, you had all the information you needed

as you stepped back and over to your chair in front of the clay, doyoung could finally breath

“doyoung, do you have any other classes today? i don’t want to keep you here if you have plans. you can go i can work off of the reference pictures”

he very vigorously shook his head

“no no, i’m free for the day.”

“okay. you should probably go get something to eat while get this started. this will probably be a long process.”

“yeah sure. do you want me to grab you anything while I’m gone?”

“nope i’m good. i already had the sandwich you brought me.”

“okay then i’ll be right back”

after he left it easy to feel the emptiness of the room

even though you were enveloped in your work it was still noticeable

the absence of his presence was palpable

the lack of it was almost suffocating

while you were worked on getting the basic shape and structure you found yourself unsettled

unable to get back into the ‘zone’ you found yourself in before

still, you pushed through the weird shift in the air, but it wasn’t long before doyoung came back with a bag of food

“hey doyoung.”

he glanced over at your pile of clay

“whoa. you made a lot of progress. okay i know you said that you didn’t want anything to eat but i brought burgers and some chips and stuff just in case.

“doyoung, you really didn’t have to. i would have been fine.”

he rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. he simply sat back in his chair and ate some of the fries that came with his burger

the hours seemed to fly by once doyoung returned

it also helped that you played music on the speaker that you brought

before you knew it, it was 5 pm and the sun was setting

you leaned back from your chair to stretch before standing and taking a good look at the sculpture

after about 4 hours of work, you were almost done

of course there were still things that needed to be touched up, like the hair and the eyes

you had decided on a pose of doyoung looking up and off into the distance

you turned and washed your hands in the sink at the back of the room

“here’s your burger if you want it. it might be a little cold, but it doesn’t have any mustard, lettuce, tomato, or pickle. that’s how you like it right?”

YALL HE DID IT AGAIN

HE REALLY JUST OUT HERE BEIN A WHOLE SWEETHEART

“yeah, how’d you know?”

“remember we met up for dinner before a study session a few weeks ago? that’s how you ordered your burger and you told me about how dill pickles were the bane of your existence”

“which they are” you chuckled “but i can’t believe you remembered that”

“of course, i did. i remember everything you tell me”

your heart melted for like the fiFTH TIME TODAY

you smiled and blushed before grabbing the wrapped burger from his hands

you guys sat and ate in comfortable silence

once you had finished you turned to him

“if you’re ready to leave you can. i just have a few things to add but it’ll be okay if you aren’t here. i’m just about out of daylight anyway.”

he playfully cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms

“y/n. i have a feeling you’re trying to get rid of me”

“maybe i am doyoung. whatcha gonna do about it?”

“cry.”

you both busted up laughing

once you had calmed down you looked at him

“seriously do. if you wanna go study or sleep or something go ahead”

he stood up and began to walk closer to you

“oh stop that. y/n it isn’t a burden for me to stay here with you. i’m honored that you would choose me to be the subject of your work and i love spending my time with you”

at this point he was standing right in front of you. looking down into your eyes.

there was no hiding the redness flushing your skin

after a few moments of silence, you looked back down at your hands

he speaks again as if you two hadn’t spent the past minute just staring into each other’s eyes

“so what next? are you gonna keep sculpting me or are you gonna draw and paint a bit?”

“ummm ,,, i kinda want to just finish the sculpture so that i don’t have to worry about it ya know?”

“yeah. where is the light switch?”

“right by the corner near the door”

as he flipped on the switch and light once again flooded the room

you were able to get a good look at the sculpture

despite it not being finished, you were still incredibly happy and proud of it

you sat back down in front of it ready to finish the work

it only took another hour or two to finish once you really got back into it

you spent the bulk of the time adding in all the little details

and you also decided last minute to add a wreath atop his head and the top of a toga

you took a final step back before sighing in relief

you were finished

you almost wanted to cry

while you were staring at the piece doyoung got up to stand behind you and look at it as well

“wow y/n. it’s beautiful.”

“well it’s you so i hope it is.”

LOOK AT YOU. BEING BOLD. OKAAYYYY

before he could say anything else, you walked back to the sink and while washing your hands, asked his help to put it in another room to dry for a few days before it goes into the kiln

“it’ll take a while to dry so i’m going to leave it here and head to bed”

“okay well i can walk you back to your apartment”

“alrighty”

okay so you grabbed all your stuff (with his help because doyoung is too nice to just walk beside you as you try carry 4 different bags filled with art supplies)

the walk back was kind of uneventful

you invited him in to drop all your things off before he headed out, not until you thanked him for spending the day with you and being your subject

okay so 2 weeks pass

you and doyoung meet up a few times because you need him to model a few poses for your portfolio

but FINALLY you finished your portfolio and sculpture and turned it all in

since then you have been relaxing, getting ready for winter break

well “relaxing” is a loose term

tbh you had been kinda stressed over the scores you were going to get on the artwork

and today, the day before the quarter ends, your professor would be handing back your portfolio & sculpture with a score

you decided to text doyoung after getting dismissed from class

y/n: “hey i get the score for my art project back today. do you want to meet up and we can find out together?”

doyoung: “oh my gosh yes. but are you sure you want me to be there?”

y/n: “of course do. you were such a big part of this, i couldn’t leave you out of it. besides you haven’t seen the finished portfolio”

doyoung: “okay. same art room as last time?”

y/n: “yep. i’ll see you in 20”

you were nervous. as you waited in the room, your legs couldn’t stay still so you decided to pace in hopes of calming yourself down

or at least having something to do

when he walked into the room, your eyes met

there was no hiding the frantic look in them either

“hey y/n. do you have it?”

you pulled a card from inside the front of your portfolio and set it down on the table

doyoung’s voice was soft and calming as he walked up to you

“can i look at it?”

he picked up the large folder

in a large gold print:

PROMETHEUS, he dies everyday but wouldn’t wish for any other way to spend eternity

“you chose me to represent Prometheus? what’s his story”

you began to recount the tale as doyoung slowly flipped through pages of your artwork

· “well he was the youngest of the titans, which were the creators of greek gods. it was said that he was also the kindest. when he looked upon the earth and saw how the humans were struggling, Prometheus felt pity and decided to give them a gift. he gave them a divine secret of the gods. he gave them fire. he did this despite knowing that Zeus would punish him if he found out. which he did. the other titans and gods were furious, so they tied him to a rock near the sea. every day an eagle would come and rip out prometheus’ liver and he would die. every night it would grow back bringing him back to life. this torturous routine goes on every day and night and according to the myth it continues until this day, as it will forever.”

as you finished the story doyoung closed the folder

all he said was “wow”

it made you nervous. “so ,,,,, do you like it?”

“y/n. this is beyond words. this is amazing. and you chose me?”

“well yeah i mean. you two just seemed to fit each other. you are the kindest person i know. you’re very generous too. so really it wouldn’t have worked if i had chosen anyone else or any other myth.”

he said nothing. just set down your work and hugged you.

you embraced each other. sharing this moment.

“y/n no matter the score on the other side of that car, just know that your work is beyond incredible. not just because it’s of me”

you both laughed before he continued

“seriously. you are an amazing artist. your art moves people. it makes me feel emotions that i haven’t felt in a while. it takes me on a journey.”

he pulled back and gave you one last smile before grabbing the card off of the table

“on 3”

“….1”

“….2”

“….3!”

a 97 was written in bright red marker

“oh my gosh y/n”

you two jumped back into each other’s arms

the smile on your face was ear to ear. there was no way it was going to fade any time soon

“I knew you could do it.”

“not without you i couldn’t have,” you say leaning back slightly, your arms still around his neck

he rolls his eyes at you

“seriously doyoung. if you hadn’t come by that day i don’t know what i would have done. you were my muse”

his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist

your eyes would have met if his weren’t staring at your lips right now

“y/n.” he whispered

“doyoung?”

“can i kiss you?”

“absolutely”

FUCKING FINALLY

ahem sorry I got a little excited for you

it was great. what can i say

it was everything you expected to be

before you thought that the whole “fireworks” thing was just movies overexaggerating

but NOW you can attest to that

the kiss with doyoung had so much built up tension and caring and passion and just wowza

when you finally pulled apart

both of you were slightly out of breath

doyoung still had this cute, dumb smile plastered on his face

he gave you a few more pecks

which of course made you have a big dumb smile plastered on your face

you actually pulled apart and out of his arms this time and took a look at the score card

beneath your score the professor left a little note

“i hope you don’t mind but i emailed the art gallery about your work. they have a small exhibition open if you’d like to showcase your art. here’s the email: _______. please consider it. you have serious talent.”

“an art gallery doyoung. an exhibition in an art gallery.”

tears fell down your face

this was an amazing opportunity

a dream came true

“i can come over tonight and we can email them.”

you just nodded your head

tbh you were still in shock

this was a huge opportunity

“so y/n. i know there is a lot going on right now but I can’t wait. will you be my girl/boy-friend?

“doyoung of course. can you help me take this stuff back to my apartment then if you want we can go grab something to eat?”

he nodded happily and grabbed the sculpture

THE END

goodness gracious that took a while

I hope you enjoyed reading this 5 thousand-word trainwreck

I know some of the stuff about creating sculptures isn’t accurate, but I need to make it work with the timeline I had in my head

I hope it didn’t bother anyone too much

but yeah

thanks for reading

also I didn’t proofread this so hopefully there aren’t many mistakes

if there are just message me and I’ll fix them

also also here’s a sequel type thing that doesn’t have to be seen as a sequel umm it isn’t as good as this one but here ya go

901 notes · View notes

beckzorz · 5 years

Text

Out of Nowhere (4/21)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC Summary: An offhand comment at work draws Jesse Kaplan into the orbit of Bucky Barnes. Bucky’s excited at the prospect of normalcy, but there’s nothing normal about falling in love with the Winter Soldier. Words: 3016 A/N: The song for this chapter is “Brooklyn Boogie” by Louis Prima from Jumpin’ With The Big Swing Bands. We’ve got more interaction upcoming, prepare yourself... It might even be less awkward than before XD Hope you enjoy!

PART 4: “BROOKLYN BOOGIE”

Today, 2:08 PM

itsadrian: guess what jesse.kaplan: What? itsadrian: i googled bucky barnes again jesse.kaplan: … no itsadrian: yes itsadrian: i couldn’t help myself lol itsadrian: i was surprised jesse.kaplan: I don’t want to know!!! jesse.kaplan: I’m serious!! itsadrian: ok ok! my lips are sealed itsadrian: … are you planning on seeing him again? jesse.kaplan: asdfhuihtlsbt jesse.kaplan: I have WORK TO DO itsadrian: lol ok ok

—

Adrian was from the internet. Jesse had never met her in person, but Adrian was the person she talked to most. Barely a day went by when they didn’t share some anecdote from their day, though it was rarely anything particularly groundbreaking. Meeting the Winter Soldier was probably the most interesting thing that had ever happened to either of them—Adrian was a receptionist for a contracting firm, and she had ample free time to message. Jesse worked quickly enough to sneak in a few chats during the day, and the timing usually worked out despite the hour difference.

Jesse hadn’t spoken of her encounters with Barnes with anyone else, and dealing with Adrian’s questions had been harrowing enough. Now wasn’t the time to be distracted—another project was coming up, and they needed flyers edited and printed, and…

And Jesse was only just focused enough to carry out the mundane edits, the mundane printing, the mundane going and gathering and envelope-stuffing.

It was really rather remarkable how much effort it took not to think about something. At the printer, she tried not to think about how she’d heard of Barnes’ first visit to Marilyn just here, juggling papers just as now. At her desk, it was about all the times he’d called her smart. On her way home, when she itched to pull out her phone to talk to someone, anyone about it, there was his terrible texting. She’d thought a guy who grew up in the typewriter era would use full words, but he’d adjusted to that aspect of modernity perfectly well.

Jesse sighed and stuffed her hands between her knees. What was the matter with her? No one warranted this much sustained thought, not even a superhero. If anything, that made it worse. Sure, she’d sighed over a famous person now and again, but she’d never actually met any of them. It was almost a given that they’d be a disappointment after any errant daydreams of perfect, charming strangers swooping in and… well. And.

Of course, Bucky Barnes was far from perfect. Awkward, uncomfortable, sometimes downright unsettling. The memory of that coldness that crept over him every so often made her shiver even in the heat of the subway. It was almost enough to make her forget his brief bursts of warmth.

But not quite.

Jesse clutched her purse to her side as she hurried up the stairs to street level, five blocks east, and up two flights of stairs to her apartment. She slipped out of her flats and leaned heavily against the door. Fran wasn’t home yet—he went to the gym after work most days—so she had the place to herself for at least another half-hour.

Plenty of time for a cold shower.

–

XXX-XXX-XXXX Today, 6:42 PM

XXX-XXX-XXXX: i have an idea XXX-XXX-XXXX: u free sat?

–

Jesse nearly dropped her towel when she checked her phone. She brushed her wet hair back to keep it from dripping on her screen and hastily responded in the affirmative. Then she flopped onto her bed, hair slick against her neck and heart racing.

So much for that cold shower.

–

Saturday was beautiful. Blue sky, fluffy clouds, not so much sun exposure that Jesse had to worry about sunburns or, god forbid, a tan. Bucky had suggested a cafe in Brooklyn Heights; Jesse had googled it yesterday, and it looked reasonable enough. Less than an hour to get there. She had no idea where Barnes lived—and she doubted he knew where she did either—but Brooklyn Heights was where Steve Rogers had grown up. It was Bucky Barnes’ home turf too, whether or not he lived there still.

Jesse got a small table along the wall and sat facing the room. Sitting with her back to a room always raised her hackles, and in this case, well, she was waiting for someone. She tapped her foot, anxious, not at all in time to the quiet music piped in from the ceiling. According to her phone, she was still a few minutes early.

The muted television was playing local news. How could a string of overnight break-ins be unconfirmed? Did they know what unconfirmed meant? Jesse ignored the television and checked her phone, then studied the other customers. The people sitting alone were all either using their phones or reading books. Some were probably doing both. Jesse studied the various groups—a couple here, a trio of laughing high schoolers there. Some senior citizens, some yoga moms.

Did she look alright? She tucked the stray hairs at her temples behind her ears for the hundredth time. She couldn’t do anything more, but that didn’t stop her worrying the inside of her lip. Well, she could adjust her posture. She sat up as straight as she could, then deflated. She didn’t want to look like a board.

The chime of the door was a relief, if only to distract her from her own busy mind. But behind the initial clump of college boys was Bucky Barnes, a cap low on his head and his arms stiff at his sides. His discomfort was palpable, and Jesse winced at his expression. He looked as uncomfortable as he’d first been on Thursday, before he’d relaxed into their first dance. He’d never really recovered—she considered their brief conversation in the hospital elevator the most relaxed he’d been with her yet—but he had calmed down.

She hoped he’d calm down here, too. She didn’t think she could handle the secondhand stress on top of actually listening to whatever he had to say.

Bucky spotted her and made a beeline for her table. She stood up hastily and smiled.

“Hey,” she said.

He hummed in response, sliding neatly into the chair across from her. Jesse sat back down. Apparently they hadn’t reached hugging status. Oh well.

She tucked her phone into her back pocket. “How are you?”

“Fine,” he said. “You?” He wasn’t looking at her. Not directly, at least.

Jesse got the feeling he was sussing out the room. She glanced around again, curiosity rekindled. Trying to see through his eyes was an exercise in creativity. “I’m fine,” she said, attention elsewhere. “Did you want to get something to drink?”

He paused, frowned.

“I can get it, if you want,” she offered, pity overcoming her spending budget.

“No,” he said. He stood abruptly, his chair scraping against the floor. “I can take care of myself.”

“Well, duh,” Jesse said, amusement tinging her annoyance into something bearable. “You don’t always have to, though. Waiting in line is boring.”

“So we can wait together.”

At that, Jesse smiled. “Good call.”

The line was short, and Bucky went unidentified—or at least, unapproached—as they put in their drink orders. He gave his name as James, not Bucky, which gave Jesse pause. Should she call him that, here in public? It didn’t seem necessary. She’d never even spoken his name aloud. Not that she could remember, anyway. She thought of him unnervingly often, sure, but they were worlds apart. Calling him Bucky? Saying the name aloud?

She wasn’t sure she could say it without betraying herself.

And she sure as hell wasn’t going to try today.

“So,” she said once they were back at a table. “You said you had an idea?”

“Yeah.” Bucky gripped his Americano—his hands dwarfed the small cup—and stared at her seriously. “I have an idea for your work.”

“Cool!” Jesse said. “You should talk to Marilyn once she’s better. Or I can connect you with—”

“I want to talk to you.”

Jesse blinked, touched. Touched and confused. “Okay, well, here I am. Talk away.”

“I liked teaching those kids,” he said. “They got over… it. Me. And they learned. They liked learning.”

“That’s great.” She grinned. He’d gotten that experience partly because of her. There was no harm in feeling smug about her contribution.

“Yeah, it was.” He took a steadying breath. “I want to do it again.”

“Ah?” Jesse blinked. That was good to hear, but why wasn’t he talking to Marilyn again? This all was her department, not Jesse’s. Jesse didn’t have a department.

“Could we do something like that with dancing?”

“Sure! There are loads of great teachers around. It’d be easy to find someone.”

“I already did,” Bucky said. His lips twitched now. He was amused by… her?

“Oh,” she said. Her cheeks flamed. “You meant actual we.”

“Yeah.”

Jesse scrambled to put together a coherent response. Her heart sang—Bucky wanted to do something with her!—but her brain screamed in terror. How could he think this was a good idea?! “I’ve never taught before. I wouldn’t know how to explain what I’m doing!”

“You’re smart, I bet you could figure it out.”

Did he always dismantle concerns so easily? She didn’t feel particularly smart at the moment. “I don’t like crowds,” she tried.

He rolled his eyes. “I managed.”

She cradled her iced mocha, staring down through the plastic lid at the milkiness below. Bucky had managed everything life had thrown at him. Almost dying, losing a limb, brainwashing, cryofreeze, more brainwashing, living as a fugitive… As uncomfortable as he behaved in aimless crowds, they were surely nothing next to all the horrors he’d had to deal with. And while he wasn’t at ease, he didn’t shy away from invitations. At least, not from her.

Jesse, meanwhile, had managed by avoiding all the things she feared and disliked. Unstructured crowds, leadership positions, deeply committed romance… She was fine, she was doing fine, but putting herself in the spotlight was high on her list of things to avoid.

She’d never been brave. She’d been smart. She’d been so smart that she’d never really learned how to screw up, and up to now she’d been too afraid to try.

Jesse snuck a glance at Bucky. He was staring at her over the rim of his cup as he drank. Was he daring her to say yes? Or just waiting for an answer?

What would happen if she said no? Disappointment, no doubt. Disgust, maybe. He might be so disappointed he’d leave her alone. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it? Maybe then she could get over her fixation and keep all that mental energy for her real life.

What would happen if she said yes?

BCEI would have to find a school willing to implement their program, and she and Bucky would have to lesson plan together. They would have to practice basic moves together, and then teach them to a crowd of adolescents. The prospect was frightening, but the possibility of working with him, dancing with him, spending time with him—

“I can talk to my boss on Monday,” she found herself saying.

A real smile lit up his face. It was the first time she’d ever seen him so genuinely pleased, and she couldn’t help but smile back. Gosh, his eyes really were that blue. The longer she looked at him, the less she wanted to look away.

“Great,” Bucky said. He knocked on the table with his prosthetic knuckles and lifted his cup towards her. “To something normal. For a change.”

Jesse giggled, delighted by his unusual candidness. “Amen to that!” She tapped her plastic cup against his ceramic mug and drank the last of her mocha.

If Bucky got a kick out of normalcy, well, he’d be thrilled with her. She smiled, teeth still holding onto her straw. She usually hated being called normal, but you know what? From Bucky Barnes, supersoldier, she’d take it.

–

A popular dance band from New Orleans was in town for a special dance event that night in Manhattan. Jesse hadn’t bothered mentioning it to Bucky, figuring she’d do better not to abuse his patience. She’d hopefully see him soon anyway, and this way she could wear one of her 40s dresses without feeling awkward about it. She pinned the front of her hair into swooping rolls and curled the rest into neat waves, then shimmied into her teal dress. She loved wearing it, and she was glad for the excuse. The nipped waist emphasized her figure, and the color made her skin glow; she felt like a vixen, or at least something approaching beautiful. Jesse tramped off to the subway with her oversized purse later than planned but grinning.

Today was a good day.

Once she arrived and paid, she found a corner to change her shoes and immediately spotted a dance friend on the sidelines. They wormed their way into a slot in the crowd, and Jesse’s spirit soared as she danced. Let other people talk up yoga and meditation; this was unfiltered joy right here.

After her first dance, Jesse made a beeline for Mike, who’d been dancing near her.

“Wanna dance?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Mike said, though his smile was dimmer than usual.

They started the new song, which was slow enough to allow for some conversation.

“Your friend is here,” Mike said.

Jesse blinked up at him, confused. “Who?”

“You know.” Mike jerked her head to the left, towards the back edge of the room. Jesse followed his gaze. Her heart skipped a beat.

Bucky was here!

Wait, did Mike think they were friends?

Were they friends? Jesse considered the possibility, but no. They knew too little of each other. They’d never spent time together socially, apart from the Stark Benefit. And their coffee this morning didn’t count. That was for work, not the pleasure of each other’s company. They’d danced together, sure, but a few dances, however memorable, were no basis for a friendship.

Well, if they weren’t friends, they were friendly. She didn’t bother correcting Mike. She’d rather dance than argue semantics. Besides, Bucky probably wouldn’t appreciate being spoken about. Did supersoldiers have super hearing? Jesse glanced in Bucky’s direction, but the crowd had shifted and she couldn’t make him out. Whether he did or not, she’d rather keep quiet. Her relationship with Bucky, whatever it was, wasn’t Mike’s business. And there was certainly no harm in keeping her secret pleasure at his assumption to herself. If someone from a distance fancied they were friends, maybe one day it would be possible.

The dance with Mike was as invigorating as usual. When the dance turned her in the right direction, Jesse couldn’t help looking across the room in the off-chance she’d be able to make out Bucky in the crowd. She turned back to face Mike after one search and found him studying her with a frown.

“What’s up?” she asked.

Mike shook his head and averted his gaze. “Nothing.” He drew her in for a spin. “Just thinking.”

“Happens to the best of us.” Jesse didn’t expect a response to her snark, but Mike surprised her.

“Is he worth the stress?”

“Huh?”

Mike was making zero sense tonight. Jesse stared up at him, but from closed position she couldn’t see past his chin.

“Him. You know. Bad stuff happens around people like that.”

Understanding dawned at last. Mike was worried about her.

“Nothing’s happened so far, just some dancing,” Jesse told him. “I think that’s pretty normal.”

“It’s not normal for someone like that to come dancing,” Mike said darkly.

“Well, maybe it should be,” Jesse retorted. “Why shouldn’t he have some fun for a change?”

Mike sighed. “Sorry, sorry. Just—sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jesse said automatically. The song ended there, and Mike stepped back from her quickly. He didn’t meet her eye. “It’s okay, Mike. I appreciate the concern, but it’s fine. Really.”

Mike smiled absently. “Here’s hoping.” He clapped her on the shoulder and strode away.

Jesse’s stomach twisted unpleasantly and her blood pounded in her ears. She abandoned the dance floor, too disturbed by Mike’s insinuations to seek Bucky out just yet.

What right did Mike have to say Bucky shouldn’t go dancing? After all Bucky had been through, he deserved as many chances at a good time as the rest of them. More so, even. Jesse hadn’t fought in the army, American or otherwise. She hadn’t helped dismantle any evil organizations either. Bucky had earned his good time, thank you very much.

Jesse pulled her water bottle out of her purse and drank, still facing away from the crowd. She knew how to avoid being asked to dance. Right now, she had no desire to force a smile. She wished she could go back, get Mike, and tell him how wrong he was, how unjust!

But confrontation was so not her style that the very thought deflated her. Her shoulders slumped. She collapsed into one of the chairs along the side of the room, holding her water bottle between her knees. Mike was allowed to express his concerns, and they weren’t entirely invalid. Crazy shit did happen around people like Bucky. The alien invasion had started at Avengers Tower. Sokovia, the bombing at the Accords… Mike wasn’t wrong.

But apart from the Stark benefit, all the places she’d met Bucky were off the usual radar for strange events. A coffee shop, dance halls, a hospital. Everyday normal places. If everyday normal places were suspect now, what even was the point? Life had to go on.

Someone sat next to her, and Jesse glanced over. Bucky tilted his head in her direction. His hair was tucked behind his ear, and his dress shirt sleeves were rolled up over a long-sleeved undershirt, hiding his arms. Though he wasn’t smiling, he wasn’t uncomfortable. He held out his metal hand to her without a word.

Jesse looked up at his face. Bucky was looking out at the crowd with little of the reservation he’d worn on Thursday. Somehow, he’d gotten over his discomfort.

She took his hand and let him lead her onto the floor.

Life had to go on.

For all of them.

#bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes fic #bucky x ofc #winter soldier x ofc #winter soldier fic #the not for profit fic #becca writes #fictive february

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itakesurveys · 4 years

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Survey 318

Do you miss Brittany Murphy’s appearance in films? I didn’t watch many films with her in them while she was alive but I did find out about this song she sang after she passed away. And it’s still on my current playlist. It’s good!

Have you ever had confetti pancakes? Not any time recent. Maybe as a kid? If I order pancakes they are gonna be chocolate chip. Is Christmas stressful? Yes and after this year I will never let that happen. If you don’t live under my roof and ain’t my mom, dad or sister or grandparents. You ain’t getting shit. Sorry. Are you responsible for stuffing someone’s stocking? Only my boyfriend but we didn’t exchange gifts this year. Too poor. What’s your favorite romantic comedy? Hmmmm, maybe ‘pretty woman’ or the movie ‘the holiday’ - I don’t watch many romantic comedies. Do you stock up on make-up palettes during November? Lol nah. I buy makeup when I need it. Have you ever taken a class online? Plenty. Do you have a Neopets account? Never have, never will. Do you make your own smoothies or juices? Nah, I hate smoothies and those weird green juices. I rather eat my friends and veggies than drink them. Do you think time really does heal all? Not really, humans are stupid and over time we adapt and start to forget things because our brains decide the old information isn’t as important. What happens to us when we die? I think or hope there is a place like heaven. If not, I hope I come back to life as a cat so I can sleep all day. Get plenty of rubs and get 9 lives. Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? I hate the heat more than anything. I don’t like being cold but I complain far less when I’m cold. If I’m hot in the summer on a 90 degree day. I’m a raging bitch and won’t leave my house. Did you care at all when Steve Jobs died? Respectfully, no. Would it be hard for you to fit your music onto an 8 GB iPod? Yes, but with streaming now I have so many playlists and most have 200+ songs on each. If you have Apple Music; message me. I want to follow you on there. Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? Not that I know of but who know? Is anything in your room purposely hidden? Just sexual stuff. Which I think should be hidden? Lol Did you get a cold around the holidays? Not this year, thank god. Does it snow where you live? It sure does. #eyeroll When do you decorate for Christmas? When/ if I can get up the motivation. I lack a lot of it. Would you be cool with wearing sweatpants to the grocery store? I mean I guess but that wouldn’t happen unless I was in a rush it emergency. I get dressed before I leave the house. My mom was against us wearing sweatpants and pjs out in public. I guess it stuck with me. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No and I would be pissed so don’t do it. Do you like teas? Absolutely. Are you any good at sketching? Meh. Do you gain a few pounds during the winter? I normally gain weight in the summer because the food is better. Pasta salad, potato salad, a lot of cards. I eat pretty healthy regularly. Do you know any of those people who are depressed during the winter? Yeah, me. What do you use to make your hair soft? I still swear by it. The Aussie 3 minuet miracle. Is hair gel a turn off on guys? Idc. Do you think cursing makes people sound unintelligent? Depends on time and place. What’s something you can cook extremely well? I don’t cook anything too difficult so not sure I feel there is a good answer for this.

What’s something you can cook extremely well? I don’t cook anything too difficult so not sure I feel there is a good answer for this.

Do you obsess over your appearance? Yes, and even more true these past few months. I’ve been tracking everything I have put in my mouth for over a year now. And recently I’ve decided to become more strict. It makes me feel like I have more control of my life. Because their are plenty of things that I can’t control but I CAN control what I shove in my face. Even though today I ate/drank a lot.. and kinda feel like shit. (Went over my calorie allowance) But, I will make up for it this week. I chucked it up to “it’s the weekend and it’s okay to indulge sometimes” I’ll know the damage tomorrow when I get on the scale.... blah.

#survey #surveys #questions #reblog questions

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dancing-with-dichotomies · 5 years

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“Lone Pearl Cowgirl” Ch5 update/Important mentions

I've been feeling... Pretty super horribly awful down lately, like bottom of the bottom... Been fighting several things at once. A persistant seasonal depression, probably. My massive damn writing block that's haunted every single thing I've tried to write all this damn year, and part of the last too. My damned body that just Won't. Stop. Hurting. EVER...

And my abusive family, my family that is literally in a damn cult, my family that "lowkey" supported the second-coming of the worst kinds of evil, even though not a small portion of our family once escaped that... Them holding me down, manipulating me knowing I am disabled, isolating me all my life and using me...And I can only hope that being able to live away from them won't just be a dream when I'm disabled but can't get disability, live in one of the priciest damned states in the country, and my parents keep sabotaging me and using me and manipulating me. I've tried to claw myself away from them. It hurts to keep seeing them selfishly sabotage me and having others judge me. So much of my life hurts, but especially lately, around winter, around my birthday... And they always actively dunk on me harder around my birthday...

That, plus my pain increasing, and... and, and, and... Well, you probably already get it if yer one of the ones who even really cared, so I won't go on if yer not, but...

Anyways I feel like it so I wanna tell the people who REALLY helped me to survive what was one of the worst bouts of depression I've had in years, even knowing I generally get depressed periodically... You guys are really the ones who made a difference this time and you should know it.

crappy-crapolice -- Change yer nickname already, Crappy. Yer the awesomest. XP XD Really dude, most of the time we just BS and have fun with various fandom shit, but you've seen me at my lowest points not just once but a few times, seen me get paranoid and doubt you a few times, but you've always been so patient and amazing about reminding me that it's my mental illness making me think/believe those things. And you've always been so great at reminding me when I need those reminders, but without judging me or shaming me. You've been so nice about really listening to my issues and realizing how many struggles I face that the average person doesn't, how I get way less help, way more demands, and way more obstruction than the average person, and you've showed me real sympathy instead of the usual "get over it already, nobody cares about what happened in your past only that you can contribute in the present" or "I'm sorry that happened to you, but also this bores me, can't we just talk about nice things 24-7..." type 'sympathy' most people settle for all too quickly... You've been the one to remind me of my own limitations when most people don't even want to hear about it, won't even let me finish before they judge me. Most just settle for assuming that someone in a bad position must deserve it. That they're not working hard enough or something. You're one of the few that really understood... Because you're one of the few who really listened long enough and didn't just blow me off or dismiss me. You treated me like I'm still a normal human being even when I've been in the midst of going kinda crazy from the stress, and that's what's managed to bring me back sometimes... Also, I hardly ever even TALK about the fandom we started out in anymore, I actually kinda dislike that fandom more than not after it all was over with, and you've still treated me like a friend. A lot of people would just drift away if you weren't interested in their fandom anymore. But you care about not just my other fandom interests too, but my original work. That really means a lot to me, NOT-Crappy. Thanks, dude. <3

Iris - People like you give me hope for the future. You work so incredibly hard for such a selfless cause. People even really mistreat doctors where you're from, and you're still determined to make it your life mission to heal and save and educate as many people as you can. Of course like I've told you to, you need to remember to make time for yourself! But I'm so incredibly grateful you've made time for me too... Again, we fandom BS a lot, but we also talk about the heavy stuff too, and I wanna let you know I appreciate it, that it helps make it feel lighter about it overall and I hope you do too. You always really listen and talk with me, have answered questions I've had, and are concerned about how I'm really feeling, instead of just rushing to cover up my troubles. It's doubly impressive that you manage to be so patient when you work so long and so hard. I have some pretty bad issues with feelings of being abandoned and "disappeared", so I really especially appreciate you talking me through that. It's also super impressive to me that despite us having a couple times where we both kinda unintentionally offended the other saying things that didnt quite come out right over the keyboard, that we managed to talk to each other about how we felt about it and clarify that no harm was meant. I know you're really busy and sometimes a while goes by where we don't talk, and even still it's easy to trust that you wouldn't just disappear on me, and that you'd really care if I truly disappeared too... I just want you to know. You're not just a My Hero-fan, you're a legit real life hero to me and I know to a lot of other people too. <3 <3

closet-cryptid/Michelle - We sometimes go a while without talking nowadays, I know we both know how hard it is with a little one, and that yer net sometimes goes in and out. But again, yer one of those friends I trust enough that it doesn't matter. It actually amazes me even more because there was a time where we had a pretty big disagreement to say the least, and both said some pretty harsh things. I was fully prepared to burn our bridge of friendship, but to my deep surprise, you actually apologized some time later, and I did too, and I feel like we're better friends for it now. And again, yer one of those people who don't just try to cover up troubles with fandom. We have our fun fandom discussions, but you've always been really willing to listen and really be sympathetic when I need to be sad too, you care about the real me and not just the me that made content for the fandom, and that's why we're still around to still putz about the fandom junk too. IZ FOREVER! XD (and I hope you and your sisters feel better too <3)

csp124 - Yer a newer friend, but yanno, you've proven to be a good one. Again, we can putz about fandom junk or other fun stuff, but you've been truly understanding about allowing me to talk about the bad junk that's been worrying my mind so much lately. You've been really helpful especially lately because you didn't just give up on me because my illness wouldn't let me stop "being negative" for a while, as some people reduce it to. Even though I didn't want to look on the bright side for a while, you kept bringing it up to me. It took a while, others gave up on me and got frustrated or angry with me, but you're one of the ones who kept being positive when you knew I -couldn't-, not that I just -wouldn't-, and understanding of my darkness too...

unified-multiversal-theory - Everybody here has helped me along a lot in various ways this year, but you've shown a special interest in my original work especially that really helped give me the inspiration I needed to get this latest chapter done. I feel so proud and relieved to have gotten chapter five finally done, and have more hope than I have in a while that the rest might be possible too. It's really deeply disheartening, a whole new level of isolation and depression, when so many people time and again, even other creators you'd hope would get it or at LEAST encourage you a LITTLE instead of being overly critical, especially those that get heaped with praise themselves, either ignore you completely/never give you a chance or even tear your creations down, claiming that they're trying to be "helpful/constructive". It's not that I can't handle constructive criticism, but I can recognize my characters being torn down by someone who is being overly critical because they dont really care one whiff about my work and REAL, ACTUAL -constructive- criticism like the kind you gave me, where you actually found a few errors that, while it depressed me for a moment to realize I had forgotten something so silly and needed to rewrite almost a while page because of it lol, IT ACTUALLY HELPED ME FINALLY FINISH THE DANG CHAPTER INSTEAD OF PARALYZING ME WITH DEPRESSION AND FEAR ABOUT MY ENTIRE WORK. You actually discussed my ideas and plot in detail and that's been so incredibly helpful. I know like Iris yer busy, so I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to help me with this especially. This work means more than a lot to me, a lot of people just blow it off like a silly story but it's SO much more than that. Helping me with this has really improved my outlook on life lately. I know everyone knows I love and live for my daughter, that she's the reason I keep existing... But she's not the reason I was made to exist in the first place. I feel like this story and her sister-stories are. Sometimes I confuse it because everything is confusing in this world, and because there's a sea of people who think the crazy shit Christians and Muslims and men in general do makes sense but somehow I'M the really crazy one, but... Just, thanks. I just feel a lot saner now that I made progress on something that means so much to me, and to know there's at least a few people out there who also really take interest in and appreciate it. <3

itsmorethanjustafantasy - We actually don't talk too much at all lol, here and there we talk a bit about fandom, but yanno... I just wanted to mention again how nice I think you are for sending people holiday well-wishes. Growing up with 90+% of my family in the Jehovah's Witnesses cult, and because of how sick I was growing up, my birthday and other holidays were especially hard times for me. Always on the outside looking in. Trained to tell other people it didn't matter and reject any holiday wishes or gifts given to my face when they were around, but deep down always feeling so lonely and isolated and excluded. You're one of those people who just out of the blue wishes people well on the holidays. For most people it's probably just nice. I just wanted you to know it did a little more for me though. It was nice to do for me, but it also made me feel included, and like someone remembered me. Thank u for that. Belated Happy Halloween, and upcoming Merry Christmas!

In general, there were a few other people that popped in when I was temporarily mad with grief and pain and helped talk to me about the rough stuff, bookrebelwordwarrior, kendallandherstuff, and a handful of others, sorry if it's been a while and I forgot anyone specific, but yeah. To everyone who really helped me and and didn't just give up on me, who not just remembered the good in me, but helped me to eventually see it again too, and help that goodness actually -grow-... Help bring out what -I- feel is really the best of me, not what others want me to be... Thank you. I can't say I'll never be depressed again, I've seen too much and there's so much stacked against me, but I'll try my best to keep trying, to keep believing progress is possible even when it feels like your life is currently stagnant and there's an ocean of people who don't care if you die or that you even ever existed. It's sad that there's so few, but life is just barely bearable when people really show they care. <3

So, consider this latest chapter of Lone Pearl, "Faithful Phil and the Martyred Mother", dedicated to you guys. <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20041537/chapters/51013765

#writing #original work #original writing #space western #sci fi #western

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happinessinthedarkest-times · 5 years

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avengers endgame reaction (spoilers!!!)

**if youre on mobile scroll fast bc idk if the keep reading works

holy shit holy shit fuck fuck fuck

i am an emotional wreak right now

ahhhhh it was so good im crying still

tony fucking stark my heart i guess ill start there

tony stark i love you three thousand. he got his happy ending with morgan and pepper for 5 years they had 5 years together and he knew that the time heist (lol) would jeopardize that and he still went and helped

that scene where he had it out with steve at the beginning fuck my heart was breaking and i was crying .

i cried a lot in this movie. legit sobbing when nat died but ill get to that

that scene was everything i wanted it to be and perfectly executed. of course hes angry and lashing out because they were supposed to do it together and lose together and the emotion behind that ughh rdj killed it

he literally hands steve his heart the arch reactor

tony and howard ugh everything with them together. tony got closure with his dad

everything tony was great.

steve

he got his happy ending. he got his dance with peggy (now im crying again) fuck. and he PICK UP MJOLNIR omg that scene was amazing and everything i never dreamed could happen when the hammer started moving ughhhh omg i was cheering so loud in the theatre and i dont normally do that. that whole scene ugh theres so much to react to

and he got to say assemble.

ok now from the beginning.

i started to cry literally before it even started. the screen was black and i was already tearing up but when clint and his daughter came up and then his family disappeared i was full on crying.

carol coming in clutch and saving tony and nebula yessss

steve and tony’s conversation right when he gets off the ship was everything i wanted it to be. (crying again) everything.

when they go to thanos’s house thing and thor chops off his arm . its what ive been saying they shouldve done on titan

and then he went for the head!

five.......

years later

fuck them. literally when the ‘five’ came up i was like no no no dont you dare do it dont you dare and then they did it. fuck them

five fucking years?!?! they made them live through 5 years of that trauma?!?!?

nat was everything in this film. she became the leader and keeping track of everything and her moment of breaking down was just so human. she couldnt move on in those 5 years and it just shows how much the avengers had become her family.

scott and cassie omg cassie all grown up made me so emotional

tony and morgan i love you three thousand she is the cutest and sweetest thing

tony fucking stark figured out time travel. he did that.

when tony gives steve his shield back my heart could not take it

the scenes where they were trying to pinpoint the exact time to go back and it was like a sleepover sesh and all the domestic avenger fanfics

going back a little bit

clint killing all the people that should have been killed and deserved to be killed and being a total badass showing up all those people who said he was just really good with an arrow and every scene he has with nat.

‘dont give me hope’

thor. oh where to start. he really did lose everything and he was blaming himself for all that happened so i get where hes coming from. every time you could see him remembering and tormenting himself about what happened broke me. his scene with his mother (crying again)

also hulk/bruce was an interesting choice (not a huge fan of it but ok)

the time traveling

everything about the new york scenes were amazing. the aftermath of the end of the avengers, loki turning into cap for a second, seeing rumlow and sitwell come out, steve getting into the elevator and channeling that winter soldier energy (i was slapping my sister on the arm so hard at this part) hail hydra and outsmarting them all. cap fighting cap “i can do this all day” lmao i was dying ‘bucky is alive” again dying they really nailed it with this. i was worried beforehand because like it would change how we would see the og avengers but i still think it works

also can talk about how tony (and scott) was checking out steves ass????

“i forgot how that suit did nothing for you ass” (be still my heart) “i like to think of it at america’s ass” (or whatever the line was)

loki getting away with the tesseract (is that in this timeline im confused about that hopefully someone will explain bc does that mean loki is alive in this timeline or not? lol)

them going back to the 1970s (do you trust me? i do) and tony meeting howard and introducing himself as howard potts. again i know i talked about howard and tony already but i loved their scenes. and JARVIS FROM AGENT CARTER MAKING AN APPEARANCE OMG

PEGGYYYYYYY (crying) when steve walked into her office (grabbed my sister again) and when he was watching her through the window and you could feel his pain.

thor and rocket are the pairing that i never imagined but amazing none the less. i loved that we got the return of mjolnir here even though idk what that does to the timeline (again who knows at this point)

rhodey and nebula again another pairing i didnt expect but are great together. everything about nebula in this film. she really has a great arch. i was stressing out so hard when the alternate timeline thanos found out that they came from the past. the scene where peter quill is dancing and singing to no music was great.

clint and natasha. this pairing thie duo the og. fuck my heart. when they started going off to vormir i knew. i knew it and i cannot handle it. the whole scene where they are fighting each other to sacrifice themself i was SOBBING. LEGIT SOBBING. ‘let me go’ i loved this so much and also hated it. she deserved her happy ending too. after everything she gave up everything to save those people. her arch is so good too. im excited for her origin. i kinda want to see her when shes a bad guy and killing everyone and her journey to shield. i hope thats what we’ll see in her movie.

but also that scene emotionally fucked me up hard.

the og avengers (minus nat) sitting on the edge of the lake

thor trying to put on the glove and redeem himself (in his own eyes not my own bc he doesnt deserve the shit he gets for not going for the head)

hulk doing it and the calm before the storm where everything goes back before that missile comes firing down.

steve tony and thor facing off with thanos. everything about this scene. tony getting a juice-up from thor and lightning to max out his powers. steve jump kicking on thanos’s ass. thanos beating up thor and steve coming in with FUCKING MJOLNIR AGAIN CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I WAS CHEERING AT THIS POINT HE IS WORTHY MY BOY STEVE IS WORTHY

also on that note tony coming up to steve and saying “theres my man” or something and giving him back his shield again.

steve standing there with his broken shield ready to face off with thanos’s army and sam coming in on the comm. and then EVERYONE COMING THRU AND KICKING NAMES AND TAKING ASS

legit cheering and crying so much

valkyrie with her pegasus

shuri with her blasters

peter parker and his reunion with tony was heartbreaking. tony looked so broken and complete at the same time. he got him back.

PEPPER FREAKING POTTS

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE (YEESSSSSSSS)

peter quill’s semi-reunion with gamora and how she doesnt know him but he gets her back

also gamora, nebula and still-evil!nebula was a great scene. nebula killing her past self is some symbolic shit right there AND to protect her sister who she hated

CAROL FUCKING DANVERS COMING TO SAVE THE DAY AND KICK THANOS’S ASS

im sad that she wasn’t in the film as much but i get why they did it and it also makes me really excited for her future films

but carol getting the gauntlet and peter saying “i dont know how youre gonna get through that”

and ALL THE BADASS MCU WOMEN COMING UP BEHIND HER READY TO FIGHT AND REPRESENT FOR THE FEMALES (CRYING)

this is something that couldn’t of been done a few years ago because there weren’t a lot of female superheroes in this universe and just the fact that this scene can make such an impression and become probably one of the most badass scenes of the mcu is one of the best things that came out of this movie.

side note: ‘activate instant kill’ great callback

and then we get to the sacrifice.

i knew it. i expected it. i read it in fanfics.

i was still not prepared.

‘I am inevitable’

‘I AM IRON MAN’

FUCKKKKKKKK they really know how to write these movies.

he knew he would die. he knew he would never see morgan again. but he knew what he had to do.

his character arch from a selfish man to a selfless man has been the most profound and powerful story.

rdj and tony stark have really carried this franchise. they were the start. and it makes sense that his death closes out this era of the mcu.

to rdj: i will never forgive my mom for telling me that she didn’t like you way back when. that really influenced how i thought about you and about tony stark for years. and i limited me from really appreciating and loving iron man and those movies and tony’s character. but as i continued to watch more of you in the mcu and in real life and have seen how you have grown and who you are today, i have so much love and respect for you and your character. im just so upset at the time i lost where i could have fallen even more in love with you. thank you so much for everything you have done over the last 11 years for this franchise. thank you for the time thank you for the memories and the laughs. the journey has been amazing.

the funeral scene with ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’

(also was the the kid from iron man 3 in the back?)

VALKYRIE BECOMING KING (queen? i say king but who knows) of new asgard. look at my killing baby all grown up and being the leader they need.

thor becoming a guardian basically.

also was quill looking for his gamora? where was the gamora from this timeline on the ship? she wasn’t there in the scene so idk

also fighting with knives to see whos in charge lol

im glad people mentioned/mourned for nat too

steve rogers

steve.

i knew he wasn’t coming back.

bucky knew it too.

im wreaked

but at least he got his happy ending. he got his peggy (again idk what that does to her timeline)

captain sam wilson america in the house.

(old steve looks like joe biden or is it just me lol)

they ended it with a steggy dance and kiss

it really was a perfect end to his story and it wrapped up his character really well. he got that life he deserved

to chris evans: as this is probably the last time we will see you as captain america let me thank you too for the years and joy that you have brought to my life. youre it for me. you are the reason i became so invested in this world. when you jumped on the fake grenade i was in it with you. chris you are and will always be the best chris in my heart. your passion for this character and understanding of steve rogers and his motivations have created such a memorable performance. steve rogers will always be the og. he will always have my heart. i am so thankful that you took this opportunity and used it and made this character your own. you live up to the standards that steve holds for himself and i am so excited for your future. i am also so glad that you didn’t die in this movie bc i definitely could not have handled it if i had to watch both my favs die. i love you three thousand.

i literally cried throughout the whole movie. there were laughs, cheers, groans, stress, tears, and love throughout this film. i am so grateful that i am alive during this time in cinematic history. there will never be something as great or momentous as this film. a true culmination of 22 films. its never been done and i doubt itll ever be done again

i am also so impressed and amazed by how well this film turned out. it is just amazing how everything fell into place

im sure ill read other people’s reactions and they will bring up points or problematic things that will taint my view on this movie but i dont want that to ruin my own experience

and for me, this was truly emotionally draining and fulfilling. the feeling of being in that theatre with all those people who love the characters as much as i do and experiencing this film for the first time is something i will never forget.

people talk about how they remember lining up for star wars.

well i remember sobbing my eyes out when nat died, cheering along with everyone when cap picked up mjolnir and whipped thanos’s ass with it and when carol and the rest of the badass women of the mcu ready to kick ass, crying with everyone as the light went out in tony’s chest and eyes, watching as history was made in front of our eyes.

and the end credits with the og avengers getting recognition with their photos and autographs.

i love this franchise and these films and these characters i dont know who i would be without them.

one last thing

thank you to the og avengers. steve tony thor nat clint bruce. chris robert chris scarlett jeremy mark. you will always have a special place in my heart. you were there at the start. you were the reason this all could happen you were the reason i became so invested in these movies. you brought these characters to life and embodied them. you are all so much like your characters the casting is perfect. thank you for your dedication to your work to you fans and to your characters. it means so much that you all stuck through this together and that you are such great friends in real life and i can only hope that one day i can be so lucky as to meet you all and thank you in person.

#please dont read if you havent seen the movie i dont want to spoiler anything for anyone #my post #my reaction #mcu reaction #endgame #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #marvel endgame #spoilers #ae tags #ae #the avengers #avengers tags #the og avengers #dont spoil the endgame

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imnotcameraready · 5 years

Text

If Villains Baked Cookies — Ch 1

A/N: hey!! since a few people asked about it, and I had some ideas floating around already, I’m making the story from this post into a longer Thing™. I can’t promise regular updates or anything, since writers block is very good at beating me down, and since I’m very much in the middle of semester at uni, but I CAN promise that I’ll be thinking about this story near constantly. chapter 2′s already in the works lol

also gonna tag @rebelrewriter since you asked about if this would b coming out! i hope you like it ^^

read it here on AO3!

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, a curse, cursing, violent threats (no actual violence in this one) — also to note is that this is written as dialogue! it’s all dialogue! all of it!!

Words: 2842

Pairings: some real light platonic moceit? other than that, uh, none. none in this whole story. its just Big FamILY time

Characters: Patton patton and more patton, Deceit, a bit of Virgil, mentions of Logan and Roman

hope you enjoy!

If Patton Hart were considering all of the factors, then he’d be able to trace all of these problems back to gardening. He hadn’t been raised a farmer — his parents had him apprenticed to a healer, which he thoroughly enjoyed, but found much more stressful than he could enjoy. And the grief after having a patient die on his table…. At the ripe old age of 22, he decided to retire from healing and moved out to a smaller village, near the kingdom’s outskirts, and began a farm.

He hadn’t expected it to be so challenging. The village he moved to was a farming village, with his closest neighbors being a few hours’ horseride away, and a royal liason coming to collect the village’s surplus foods every fortnight.

There was a blacksmith, doctor, tavern, city hall, and a small cell block in the village’s center. A few blocks away (closer to Patton’s actual house than the village) was a library, but he hadn’t seen anyone enter or exit it since he’d moved in. In fact, he never saw the lights on, either, and no one ever talked about it.

Farming was hard. The animals listened to him, thankfully, but nothing would ever grow. And he could only live off of animal products for so long (and god knows he would never kill them). Responses from those in the village ranged from sympathetically helpful to sarcastic rudeness, but all pointed toward the soil in his land plot being less than ideal for crop growing. Or something. There were a lot of reasons and Patton had stopped keeping track.

Other people in his little village were farming, though, so he thought that there was something wrong with his methods. Maybe he was using too much water? Maybe he should purchase a different type of fertilizer?

Patton was more of a people person, so his first instinct was to ask his neighbors for help.

Looking back, he wasn’t sure why he thought they would help. His neighbors had been passive-aggressively bullying him for a month, since he arrived. They laughed at him, scorned him for thinking arming may be easy, and refused to help.

Don’t think about them, Patton. They’re not long gone by now. Assholes.

He knew that. But Patton’s a nostalgic guy. And stop swearing! We have children in the house, now.

His second instinct was to go to the library. Sure, he didn’t know if it was open or even functioning, but any sort of help would be welcome, even just one book on farming.

When he went to the library (it was a spur of the moment decision) it was dark.

Patton lifted his lantern a little higher, casting light on the entirety of the high-ceiling-ed room. The library had two floors, as could be seen from the outside, but inside he noted that the second floor had an open balcony down to the first floor. There were a cluster of tables in the center of the room but every wall on both floors was covered in bookshelves, from ceiling to floor. Along with that, there were mismatched shelves between the center and walls, nearly as tall as the walls themselves, all full of books.

There must be something in here that could help, he’d thought, so Patton began looking.

Books were never his strong suit, but he did his best with searching for the right topics. Even just any key words. He scoured the shelves for two days and found….nothing. No books related to farming at all.

On the third day, because Patton was stubborn as an ox, he finally found something on the second floor. Tucked away in the lower-most corner of the farthest shelf against the wall to the left was a book titled “Gardening with Snakes.”

Despite not knowing much about farming, Patton was fairly certain from the beginning that snakes had little to nothing to do with gardening. He knew some snakes lived in gardens —

I don’t happen to do a lot of gardening.

This isn’t about you, yet, shush.

It was late in the day when he found the book, too, so Patton deemed it best to take the book home for reading.

A few pages in and it was clear that this was a book about using magic to garden.

Patton hadn’t considered using magic. As far as he knew, the only people in the kingdom who used magic worked directly with the royal family, and someone had to pass rigorous ritualistic tests to be considered for an apprenticeship.

But here this book was, almost like a “Magic for Fools,” something even he could digest despite not having any experience with the subject. And it looked like most of the magic in the book was actually aimed at gardening. There were spells on improving soil fertility, how to bless water to heal ones’ crops, how to protect farm animals from illnesses….

Patton was absolutely charmed.

Ugh….

It may have been an unconventional means of farming, but he’d lowered his standards for “conventional” fairly far. At this point Patton was ready to try anything.

So, within mere days, this book had him spellbound.

I don’t hate you.

I know you love me.

The first round of crops, using a simple-seeming soil fertility spell, grew wonderfully. The corn stocks were strong and sturdy, and in only one month they had shot up to his height. His spinach actually gave crop in only 2 weeks!

Patton celebrated all night and had a wonderfully fresh salad with a cheese-based sauce.

He didn’t know enough about gardening to know that his corn had grown at half the speed it would regularly, or that his spinach had grown thrice as fast. How would he? The whole point of his plight was that he didn’t know anything about gardening.

And, after the corn began producing after only three months and during the winter, his neighbors began to whisper.

He continued to study the gardening magic book, however, and began planting more crops completely out of season, and yet they grew. The wheat grew tall, the spinach produced plentifully, the green beans thrived….sometimes while covered in snow. There must be some form of witchcraft involved, the neighbors whispered.

And as soon as Patton realized he had a surplus, he began to bring his crops into the market at a nearby town. There was no way he could sell them at the high prices his neighbors would — he was always distraught when he went to the market and found himself a dollar coin or two short of even a loaf of bread. So he slashed his own prices. What need did he have for money, other than the occasional gifts and coins to send to his parents, or for paying for services every so often? People need to eat!

People flocked to his booth, drawn by his low prices and charming personality.

Patton, you’ve never been a people person.

Oh, I have been?

I thought you weren’t doing a story point of view thing.

Fiddlesticks! Don’t make fun of me, Dee, you made me break it!

Anyway.

His neighbors were once again aghast. Within a few weeks, they were up in arms. Not only was Patton drawing customers away from them, he was attracting the attention of the crown.

Now, unknown to Patton at this time, the royal family was well aware of the famine threatening to sweep the country. Access to food was scarce, so much so that most farmers in the nation were gaining less crops every harvest, therefore selling them at higher prices.

In order to secure a surplus of foods for the royal family, the King had ordered for 76% of all crops to be brought to the capital, at a slashed fee. It was like highway robbery!

It wasn’t highway robbery.

I’ve been trying to clarify my metaphors, Dee, it makes Logan feel better. Anyway, the King would send a collector every two weeks, and Patton knew that, but he didn’t realize how much was being taken.

First his neighbors confronted him about his prices. Of course, Patton felt bad for his neighbors, but he also pleaded with them to lower their own prices. People shouldn’t have to save up for a week to buy only one loaf of bread! The food is in plenty, and everyone needs to eat!

Then they warned him. He didn’t know what to think. They’d just been threatening him, threatening to burn down his barn, kill his animals, burn his crops….now they wanted him to be safe?

They said the King would come to his doorstep. Not actually the King but a liason, a squire or some sort of lord or something, to make sure Patton fell in line with the King’s “policy.” And if Patton didn’t, then the King would make sure his farm died with him.

Of course, Patton was more than a little worried either way. He didn’t think being a farmer would make him on the run from the law, but what can you do? He didn’t expect these sorts of problems to just

Crop up.

Ugh. I’m not leaving.

Fine, fine, no more puns! Stay!

One more pun and I’m not going to get Logan to finish the story. I fully care that he doesn’t know what happens.

Alright….

He noted it, dully, and continued with his farming. But, true to what his neighbors said, there was a proceeding of lords who visited his house the very next day.

They told him about the patriotism he’d be donating the food to, how it was for the good of the country. But Patton was good at seeing through lies at this point. But more on that in a bit!

He didn’t know how he knew they were lying, but he knew. So he said no. No, he wouldn’t be giving the King any of the surplus food. All of it should be given to the people, because if the King was getting food from everyone else, then he should be having plenty! And how much was he going to be paying for it? The King had a lot of money. Why should he get such a steep discount compared to the market price?

It didn't make sense to Patton, so he said no. And the lords threatened him with everything his neighbors warned him with. They said the King would retaliate.

So, in a moment that Patton didn’t understand for a while, he responded “I sure hope he does.”

That is the dumbest thing I have ever done. I’ve done a lot of dumb things, but I still think this takes the cake!

Oh, finally giving up on the narration?

You know what, Dee. I think I will. I think everyone should hear me scream about my life from my own voice, with my own name, because DANG NABIT it was hard!

You’re not valid, but it is not fun to listen to you refer to yourself in the third person.

Well….thanks, Dee. Alright. I’ll keep it up then!

That was also not the dumbest thing you’ve done, I disagree.

It was dumb, but you helped. D’you want to explain that or should I?

I think I would tell it better.

Okay, okay, I’ll explain. So, rolling back a bit to the magic book. The magic book Patton found was actually related to a specific deity. Not a negative or positive one, but just a deity of illusions and growth. Because of the growth part, he was one of the many small-time deities who were called upon in help for the harvest.

Since magic had been hoarded amongst the upper-class, very specific deities were picked to be worshipped and, well, taught about to the people. Patton didn’t even know about the deity his book was based around.

At first, he thought it was fake, but the more he used the book’s knowledge in his farming, the more he attracted the deity’s attention. It was the first time a human had called upon his specific teachings in hundreds of years. And then he had to watch this human be threatened by people who were supposedly representing his best interests.

That night, the deity showed himself to Patton. He said he’d been intrigued. Well. Technically he said he hadn’t been intrigued.

This deity, since he was the deity of illusions first and foremost, lied in every sentence. He’d actually been cursed to, by another god! At first it was confusing, but that was just how he spoke, ya know? Nothing he could do about that, and nothing Patton could do!

He said he’d been intrigued by Patton’s use of his magic, because it’d been outlawed years and years ago. Patton, surprised, offered the deity a drink and some dinner.

That wasn’t adorable. A human has always offered me food and beverage.

Look, Deceit! I’d never been faced with a god before! How was I supposed to know what to do?

Fair enough. Please stop.

We had dinner, the deity and….Patton. And they discussed.

Patton wasn’t particularly interested in learning more magic, but the deity promised to teach him all he knew about gardening. But to earn that, the deity also had to teach him other forms of magic. Patton had heard the kingdom’s histories with magic, how the kingdom villainized all mischievous forms of magic in favor of more powerful or controllable forms, but this deity claimed that the kingdom did this by casting away and levying laws against certain other magics and, ergo, certain other gods.

Do you want to explain this part?

Me? Um, well, I think I could definitely do a good job of being understood. And because the story is not yours, I fully believe I could do it justice in telling it. Plus I just want to say it.

Well, alrighty then! Another thing about this deity is that he was lonely. That’s putting it kinda blunt. This deity in particular was mad, mad that he’d been abandoned, mad that he’d been locked away, so he had an ulterior plan. If he could corrupt this one human farmer and make him carry out his bidding, then this god could level the kingdom and kill everyone who put him in ethereal exile!

But he was more lonely than he was letting himself admit, and so was the human. So when the deity showed up every night to teach the human magic, the human would cook up a dinner with whatever foods they had on hand. Soon the tutoring lessons stretched longer, and then the deity just started….gosh, was there even a grace period before you just started living at my house?

I believe there was. I completely remember when I began staying at your house, but after you built me a whole room, well, how could I refuse?

That’s true, I guess! And you cooked a little, too!

Aren’t I just the best house guest?

Good use of sarcasm.

I hate loopholes in the lying curse.

Loopholes are the best! Alright, so then….wait, where was I?

I don’t remember, you weren’t talking about the first King’s messenger.

Oh, right! After Patton took that threat in accidental stride, the messenger….probably went back to the castle and told the King! And I imagine he was furious, because within a week, uh….

Gosh, yeah, that did happen….

Do you want me to tell this part?

Well….

I won’t tell it—

“Hey, Patton?”

Ah—yes, Virgil?

“Um, Logan, uh-he messed up a spell and, um. Roman’s stuck in a wall.”

....He’s….he’s stuck in a wall?

“Yeah, uh, Logan was practicing a portal spell and Roman followed him through it, the portal, but L said he didn’t know, so, uh. It closed. And Roman’s stuck in the wall now, and the extra concrete’s sitting on the ground outside the wall and he’s kinda screaming at Logan. Lo can’t figure out how to get him out, either.”

I….Well, let’s go. Deceit, can you finish telling the story?

“Telling the story? Ah, shit, did I—shoot, I meant shoot. Did I interrupt something?”

Nothing too big! Dee was going to take over for me, anyway! I just figured I should talk about how our big ole’ family came together! Like an oral history?

“.....Yeah.”

And I don’t really want Logan, um, accidentally closing the rest of the portal while Roman’s halfway through it. That would be….wall-ful.

“....”

….

You’re right, that wasn’t my best.

“Pat, I think Roman’s crying by now, and that pun’s about to make me start crying.”

I cannot take over, Patton, you don’t need to deal with that. Tell Logan he’s not an idiot for trying a portal spell this early in his magic career.

He’s not an idiot! He’s still learning!

Yes, indeed, because you also nearly killed yourself while learning.

Hah! You know I did! So that was a truth! Loop those holes, Dee, loop ‘em!

“Patton, can we go?”

You’re right, Virge, you’re right — let’s go.

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