#hoshigaki kisame scenario

[snuggleboots]

Akatsuki parents? Akatsuki parents.

because I like shoehorning my experiences into my ninja bullshit. Hope y'all enjoy my rambling. : )

Feat. Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi.

Hidan ends up a girl-dad, and a proud one at that, given your daughter is a complete fucking gremlin, just like him. An aggressive toddler that looks like a tiny little sweetheart, with chubby cheeks, gorgeous violet eyes framed by the prettiest eyelashes you'd ever seen, and hair that looks like a carbon copy of your own. Her little smiles are a mixed bag, and you never know whether to expect cute baby affection or chaos that no toddler her size should realistically be capable of bringing into existence.

Nobody expects it when she toddles on up, all tiny, squishy hands and 'awwww, hug?'s, only to turn on a dime and start biting, smacking, or pinching- all while wearing a huge grin that she must have inherited from her dad, or giggling like a squeaky hinge. Babysitters do not last, Hidan finds absolutely nothing more hilarious than seeing another one leave haggard and never pick up jobs from either of you again.

She's a natural climber, knows no fear, and loves nothing more than climbing up onto the back of the couch and waiting. 'Oh no, 'M stuck!' is a goddamn trap. It took a couple pint-sized ambushes, wherein she lunges, catches some serious air, and rams into you or Hidan at full force to learn that lesson. Your natural state becomes STRESSED. Hidan, on the other hand? Constantly entertained. That little girl can do literally no wrong, because, shit, she's just emulating her dad, obviously.

If it's possible for a toddler to be sarcastic, she is, and it's only ever when she's using her manners. One tiny little eyebrow cocked, a crooked smile and cooed, 'Oh, nooo. So-orry!' Hidan has literally cried from laughing so hard, until she turned it on him. One big, angry bitemark on his forearm later, and those tittering giggles and 'Uh-oh, you o'tay? Uh-oh!' felt just a little more irritating than when they were directed towards you. He's even less impressed when you're laughing right alongside your little devil-child.

Older kids tried, once, to pick on the little girl who laughed too loud and played too hard. Unfortunately for them, she's always had a set of lungs and knew damn well how to use them. One blood-chilling shriek- not because she's hurt, but because she knew he'd hear, and haha, there's dad. Big, fat crocodile tears, a quivering pout and squeaky, 'Oh, no!' and it was game on.

Hidan doesn't give a fuck how old a snot-nosed shithead might be, his bullying is indiscriminate and he's had far longer to refine his insults than they have. She's rarely bullied, because word spreads and it's hard for a kid to bounce back from such heated and targeted shit-talk, even harder to bounce back when they watch some whooping, laughing maniac beat the shit out of their dad for trying to step in. You were only slightly surprised, and a little concerned when your little gremlin laughed and squealed over the playground dad on dad beatdown.

Deidara drops by from time to time, and he seems to have as much fun wrangling your tiny little hellion as Hidan does. He doesn't mind the fact that she can be aggressively playful, and takes absolute delight in the way her eyes go wide and shine with awe when he shows off his art. She's fascinated by his hair, and you find some remarkable moments of quiet and peace when she's perched on the couch with him on the floor, her chubby fingers toying with and carding through the golden mane that's somehow smoother and shinier than silk. If he minds the fact that she essentially pets him like a cat, he certainly doesn't mention it. 'Awww! So sof', so sof'.' Between Deidara and Hidan's high energy capacity for mischief, his visits always end up with your daughter properly knackered, and mercifully tame for the rest of the day.

Kakuzu didn't want kids the same way a dad doesn't want the dog his kids inevitably end up bringing home. You two ended up with a daughter, and at some point, somehow, someway, he became begrudgingly attached and takes over everything surrounding that little baby. Maybe it was the fact that when he looks into her eyes, he sees a soft, sweet mirror of his own, moss-green eyes that haven't yet seen the horrors of the world and the awful things that wait within it. Either way, the most miniscule part of him that can still feel love does, and every ounce of it belongs to her. You have your share, but you know that his daughter put the moon and the stars in his sky again.

Your full-time job becomes raising her, the little lady that sees the world with his eyes and speaks remarkably well for a tiny toddler her age. There's not a snowball's chance in hell that he'd trust some random to watch over his girl. You're just lucky that she's an honest delight to raise, although that might be your own bias talking. Kakuzu does a lot of reading with her, and it's almost comical to see a man like him drawling and grumbling through a ten-paged book about a little pig's wild adventures in kindness.

When Kakuzu's balancing books in the evening and she can't sleep, she always seems to find her way to the kitchen table where the old bounty hunter is pouring over expenses and budgets. Tiny fingers count on an abacus while he counts stacks of green, and when he loses count because she's quietly chatting away to the walls and the table and his ears when they listen, he can't even find it in himself to be upset. Not when those pretty eyes turn their gaze to him and she bids her sweet 'uh oh, sorry papa'. For all his power, he can be weak in those moments that make his heart just a little happier.

Innocent, and unacquainted with the temper that almost defines him as a man, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him, she isn't afraid of him. Never had she, nor will she ever bear witness to the ugly, vicious face of his short-fuse and hellfire wrath.

That sweet little girl is spoiled, and that's only because she never seems to ask for anything herself. So polite, for one so small. When little green eyes sparkle because they fell upon a pretty dress, a toy, a book that has her oohing and ahhing, a little cup that has a straw 'oh, wow!' and a cute little pig printed on the plastic 'ohh! a piggy! haha, oink oink!' - who is he to turn his head and leave it at that?

She could ask for the moon, and it would be all he could do to bid a slow, pensive nod and murmured assurance, 'It only sits in the sky for you.'

Hidan is a frequent and uninvited visitor, and while normally you'd find that to be cause for concern it's quickly proven pointless to worry given the fact that if Kakuzu isn't grouching him under control, your daughter has a hilarious talent for putting him in his place. Seeing the zealot sat on your couch, being prodded and chided by a girl less than half his size is certainly a sight to behold; hearing her tut and chastise him in a way she must have learned from her dad for putting his feet on the coffee table, shoes on the couch, or his drink on the side table without a coaster is absolutely hysterical. 'Stains are 'spensive! Feet down!'

Kakuzu's sweet little mini-me: breathes

Kakuzu:

Kisame takes on the dad role like he was born for it, after a small period of adjustment. You two end up having a boy and a girl, and he's practically putty in their little hands. Your boy is huge, had been since he was a baby - which is natural, Hoshigaki kids are just... big, generally. Your girl caught both of you off guard, only because she's so tiny. The sibling dynamic is chaos, but a warm one that always seems to leave Kisame cackling or grinning over something ridiculous those two end up getting into.

Your boy is like a walking clone of his dad, and even as a little boy he's already standing as tall as your ribs. Slate-blue hair as soft as cornsilk, teeth that make you grateful he was never a biter, and little gills bracketing his throat. Soft-spoken, a little shy outside of his parents, and constantly looking to wrestle and play. If you're doing something, he's a guaranteed little helper - he likes to help with cooking when you let him. If his baby sister is getting into trouble, he's either helping her do it to make sure she's safe, or he's the one carrying a kicking, griping toddler to one of you two to handle. Yeah, he's a bit of a narc- but it's always for a good cause. He's a fretful big brother.

Your girl is probably the most precious little baby you'd ever met, and Kisame is quite literally helpless against her doe-eyes and deceptively sweet, cheery little voice. Where her brother is quiet, she is loud; where he's happier to follow the rules and keep out of trouble, she's a born rule-breaker that finds boundaries just to test them. When you stumble upon her in the midst of some suspiciously quiet, pint-sized anarchy, she always manages to look surprised that you ever caught her in the first place. She looks like you, if you were knee-height and sporting tiny little daggers for teeth and gills on your cheekbones. Kisame blames you entirely for her gremlin personality.

Kisame does not discipline unless he needs to, because he feels awful when big, sweet baby eyes look at him with complete betrayal that he dared to tell them no, or stop them from pulling off some kind of crazy baby scheme that would make your hair grey from stress. Quivering pouts or teary eyes and he's gotta tap out.

Babysitters adore your kids when they behave, but Kisame vets any you hire thoroughly because he's more than a little protective of his babes. It's like they're each a half of his heart living outside his body and he honestly struggles to manage the overwhelming love and affection they pump into his veins every day. He could, and gladly would break fingers over something as minute as hurt feelings.

You hold the sole rights to discipline outside the house, too. If either of your ankle-biters act out their mischief in public, and someone tries to step up and throw in their two cents, Kisame's massive silhouette and mean, sawtooth grin are very effective deterrents.

Itachi is a semi-frequent visitor, and both of your children love him fiercely. You're half-convinced that he has some kind of Uchiha magnetism, given the fact that he'd won over not one, but three Hoshigaki by the sheer power of his quiet, soothing presence. Kisame takes great amusement in watching your little lady climb all over the poor man, and your son sidle up beside him with his favourite book to chat his ear off about the adventures that lay within it. Itachi, to his credit, never ever seems to mind the undivided attention of the lively gilled babes.

Kisame, and his pint-sized sidekick: getting into Hoshigaki-brand bullshit

You, with your sweet little chore buddy: > : ( no- one hundred times, no!

Kisame, and his tiny co-maker of mayhem: betrayed, bamboozled, and somehow? positively shocked that you found out

Itachi slips seamlessly into a domestic role, despite how long he'd been absent from one. Childrearing almost seems like his god-given purpose in life once he actually sets himself to it, and the second you two brought home your cooing, burbling baby it was on. He's happy, grateful to stay home and take care of your son, tend to the home and make your transition back to work as smooth of a process as possible.

It's an all-too common scene to come home and find the Uchiha at task in the kitchen, tending to a meal simmering on the stove while your squishy, pudgy-cheeked and sleepy eyed boy perched on his hip with a tenderness that makes your heart hurt. Even as a clumsy little toddler, he's never found very far from his dad. If Itachi is cleaning, there's his little mini-me, trying to help and earning gentle encouragement and a soft, fond smile for his efforts.

Honestly, your little guy is the most well-mannered, well-adjusted, well-spoken toddler you've ever met. He genuinely likes to help, to the point that it sometimes becomes a problem because he's very determined when there's any little problem set out in front of him. At the park, playing with other little babes, he's more concerned with making sure everyone's playing fair and playing safe than he is about actually having any fun himself. He's a bit of a worrywart for someone his age, and half the time it feels like he's the self-appointed tiny guardian of his friend group. Someone trips and skins a knee? 'Are you okay? We can sit down for a little. It's okay.' A born father, is your Itachi.

Who, for a man so reserved and soft-spoken, is hellbent on making sure his son has the most peaceful, memorable childhood he can possibly offer. Not a day is wasted in your household, even a lazy day is an opportunity to make memories and spend some honest, quality time with the people he loves most. You three can cook meals together, with your boy set to work at taste-testing and mixing ingredients under the quiet, watchful eye of his dad. He never wants for encouragement, love, affection, or little things that catch his eye; it would be wrong to call him spoiled, because he isn't, but there is little he wants that he doesn't receive.

Your secondary job is bullying Itachi into taking a day to relax and unwind, because although your son is essentially the perfect child, it's still a lot of work to raise him. Even when you're the primary parent on those days off, he's never far away, and always finding sneaky ways to slip back into dad-mode rather than actually relax. Half the time it takes you putting your son on the job of wrangling his dad just to make the man sit down, crack open a book and let himself just be. That typically entails your little boy gently chiding his father in a way you're certain he learned from the Uchiha himself- and god, it makes your heart melt. 'No, no. Gotta have your tea, it's gonna get cold', 'Sit, sit, sit. Sometimes we need to sit, papa. Gotta rest!'

Kisame loves to visit, he makes that fact no secret. For a man so massive, so intimidating, he handles your boy like glass- as if he's afraid a little rough play might break him. And your son, always as sweet as he is smart, adores the company. His questions know no limits, and he's a clever little babe about getting answers without actually asking questions. 'Can we go swimming? You must swim fast- can you swim under water? I can hold my breath longer than you can.' You once got to watch the boy perched at the end of a dock for half an hour, holding a staring contest with the swordsman who'd been stubbornly sat at the bottom of the lake's shallows for at least half an hour. That thoroughly entertained grin on the swordsman's face when he flared his gills told you he knew what exactly your boy was so curious about when he'd challenged him in the first place.

[nardo-headcanons]

Kirigakure Worldbuilding II - Specialties

Inspired by a recent conversation I had with @pxssy-stuntin-for-itxchi, I got wanted to add more to my Kirigakure worldbuiling post!

Food Preservation Since except for a month during the winter, it never really gets cold in Kirigakure. This has lead to its citizens becoming very creative at enhancing the shelf life of the food that they have. Meat/fish is dry-aged and smoked, fruits are turned into preserve, cheong, or slow-dried. Dairy is a luxury in the water realm, so there are a lot of plant based dairy alternatives already, so it’s no surprise the wave realm has a quite big vegetarian and vegan population. Even though their spice tolerance is not the highest, when talking SALT tolerance, no village can beat Kiri. They are VERY generous with salting their food. In order to get a smokey flavor to any dish, you can obtain smoked salt everywhere in the country. The water realm was the first region the come up with the concept of fermentation of food. Milk is turned into yoghurt and cabbage is turned into kimchi and its more popular variant - sauerkraut. Fun fact: Suigetsu comes from a high ranking caste, so he actually was able to afford dairy yoghurt and jello with actual gelatine, and they're his favorite foods.

Kimchi and Sauerkraut

The general spice tolerance of Kiri citizens is not the highest across the shinobi world, so kimchi is mostly exported to Konoha and Suna. The cabbage grown in the water realm is specifically bred to be extra heat resistant and crunchy. In order to cut down on waste, the excess is turned into sauerkraut juice. To put less of a strain on the public healthcare system, the water realm government has issued its citizens to exercise and eat healthy – especially children. To get more children to drink sauerkraut juice, it is produced in portable, biodegradable little juice boxes which are handed out for free in the Kirigakure academy. Every Kiri genin has tasted it atleast once. Scurvy was once a big problem for most shinobi going on long term stealth missionas, since most just lived off dried meat and crackers, except for Kiri Nin, since they always carry sauerkraut juice (and kumquats) with them.

Fruit

Mangos: With their sweet and fruity taste, they’re popular amongst children, especially when dried, rolled into balls with an added sugar crust. While other countries see them as a special treat they’re a staple in Kiri. Papaya: Another Kiri staple. It is eaten either as a fruit in its orange form or in its green form in more hearty dishes. The seeds are ground and sold as a pepper alternative. Its extracts of the are used by the Kiri beauty industry, which is the biggest one, closely followed by Suna's beauty industry. Peaches: Often grown on the mountaintops of the water realm, they’re loved all over the country. Peach trees are seen as a sign of fertility, renewal and good luck. The pits are turned into persipan, which many foreigners don't like. Durian: Those stinky fruit are banned in Kiri’s public spaces. However, it is still the most popular fruit overall, so only a few get exported yearly, much to the other countries' durian lovers' chagrin. Jackfruit: Not a lot of Kiri citizens like its fleshy texture but it is often used as meat alternative by Kiri’s large plant-based population. Lychee: They’re often sugared and canned, or added to jelly. They're amongst the most popular fruit to make cheong with.

Kumquat: Kiri nin love them because they’re basically easily portable, vitamin c filled snacks. Other honorable mentions include: Rambutan, Mangosteen, Starfruit, Cherimoya, Soursop, Yuzu and Tamarillo.

Jelly If you’ve read my last post on Kiri specialties, you probably know that instead of manufactured candy, Sweet tooths (teeth?) in Kiri chomp down on dried fruit, fermented sugary sticky rice and – jelly. Gelatine, like most non fish animal products, is a luxury so most jellies are made with agar-agar, a plant based “gelatine”. Just take some fruit juice and set it with agar – and there you have jelly. Most foreigners find Kiri’s obsession with jelly pudding off-putting, but that doesn’t stop them. Fun fact: Suigetsu comes from a high ranking caste, so he actually was able to afford dairy yoghurt and jello with actual gelatine, and they're his favorite foods. Non food fun fact: As genetic engineering gets more advanced and Kirigakure already having no issues using bacteria, they're also the biggest exporter of nutrient agar for agar plates which are used for the cultivation of bacteria and funghi. Kigakure is the leading village when it comes to biological and medical advancements, which is why Orochimaru has visited very often (and eventually ran into Kimimaro)

[hailuchiha]

Caretaker

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

!! MINORS DNI !!

!! 18 + NSFW CONTENT!!

!! ALL characters involved are ADULTS ; NO minor characters!!

Summary: Itachi was supposed to return DAYS ago! It wasn't like him to ever return late from a mission. His sister, whom he left in the care of his partner Kisame, has been a ball of anxiety, getting worse each day. Kisame is also worried now, but when things come to a head, he takes his frustration out in a different way.

prompt filled for this anon ask

size difference; sort of noncon; cnc; sexual frustration; betrayal of trust; frustration; anxiety; found family drama; partially clothed; out in the open; power imbalance; anger issues; belly bulge; choking;

1.7k words

Caretaker

It had been days.

Itachi was supposed to be back days ago.

Kisame, whose care he'd left his precious sister in, almost felt as agitated as the younger Uchiha felt. While he knew how capable Itachi was, he just couldn't account for his partner's absence being this long.

Besides, he was running out of things to say to calm the brat down. At least, he was running out of believable things to say.

Plus, brat was sort of an insult to the gorgeous young woman.

"Kisame," she whined, her doe eyes wide and tearful as she stomped up to him. "Why isn't aniki back yet? You say everyday that he'll be back any day!"

"How the hell am I supposed to know," the swordsman growled, also running thin on patience by now. "Just... go hunt a rabbit or somethin to keep yourself busy. And useful."

The young woman frowned, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder as her hands went to her hips, lower lip wobbling a little despite her frown.

"You're saying I'm not useful?" she said in a dangerous tone.

Kisame wanted to roll his eyes, trying not to stare at her heaving bosom and the pretty flush heating her cheeks.

"Don't start this again, woman!" he responded, though his bark had no bite. "Just don't pester me anymore."

"Huh. Some caretaker you are," she scoffed, even as she started to turn away. "You know, Itachi left me with you so you'd take care of me."

She had been backing off, not really even insulting him. But something about either what she said or the way she'd said it made his pent up emotions flare up.

He threw her over his shoulder, ignoring her indignant squawk as she was carried like that, and left the clearing to head into the cover of the surrounding darkness of the forest.

"Hey," she cried out as he threw her gently onto moss-covered ground.

"You're quite the ungrateful brat, aren't ya," he hissed, climbing on top of her and refusing to let her squirm about or escape him.

Something feral flared inside Kisame, and he gave into it, grinning wildly as he groped her ample breasts, his large hands squishing and squeezing the soft mounds.

She was panting from the exertion as she bucked under him, trying in vain to throw off his balance. Kisame would have been impressed at her valiant efforts if he didn't find her helplessness, her inability to even budge him, hilarious.

"You wanted me to play caretaker, huh?" Kisame huffed, bending down to kiss and lick at neck before biting down harshly. He smirked when she yelped, glaring at him with a mixture of shock and fear.

"You'd better stop!" she said, but her voice was all wobbly and breathless.

"I think not," he said, grinding down on her so she felt his cock rubbing firmly against her belly. "Since you couldn't appreciate all the hard work I did taking care of ya, providing for ya, all this time your brother's been gone, methinks you need to be taught a lesson. As your caretaker, I got the right. 'Sides, I deserve some sort of payment too for dealing with ya."

With that, he didn't wait for the Uchiha woman to respond, and simply tore off her underwear and leggings in a single yank, leaving them tangled at her ankles when they got stuck on her shoes. He pulled up her dress so it was pooled up around her tiny waist, the pale, silky smooth skin of her bare legs exposed for his hungry eyes. His cock twitched in appreciation, a wet spot appearing in his pants where he leaked precum already.

"Fuck," he mumbled, eyeing her pretty little cunt, watching almost mesmerized even as his oversized fingers idly played with her soft lips.

His eyes shot up when she whimpered, trembling, and he smirked when he saw the needy look in her eyes even as she tried to cross her legs to keep some semblance of decency.

Kisame chuckled, flicking her nose before gripping her plush thighs and spreading her legs, not allowing her to hide.

"Now, now, little one," he crooned. "Don't be all shy on me now! You were mouthy enough to pester me the whole two weeks your brother was gone."

"P-Please, Kisame," she still begged, eyes not meeting his even as her warm walls became slick with Kisame's attention, his finger making delicious wet sounds as it moved within her folds.

"Please what?" he asked with a smirk.

"L-Let's not do this... I won't bother you again," she said, not meeting her eyes, her nails digging into his still-clothed thighs.

Kisame barked out a laugh.

"Tell that to your greedy lil cunt," he countered, smacking her pussy and delighting in the strangled sound she made. "You even went through the trouble to shave it. Didja do it for me? Now be a good girl and let daddy have some fun... You've stressed me out enough the past few days," he said, pulling out his cock and smirking as he saw her eyes widen in horror.

Kisame knew he was girthy, that he was bigger than the average man... It came with the territory, what with him being around 7ft tall. He wondered if she was just playing coy, or if the little Uchiha would turn out to be a little cockslut after all.

He continued to pump his fingers in and out of her wet cunt, opening her up and relaxing her while using his other hand to tug at his cock a couple times till it glistened in his copious precum.

As he took out his fingers and replaced them with his thick head, he caught her eyes as she bit her lip, eyes trying to see where he was entering her. It took a few tries, his cock catching on her entrance every time he tried to push in. But finally, it worked. Kisame groaned at the sight of his fat cockhead slipping past her wet folds, stretching her pretty pussy painfully wide, if the grimace on her pretty face was anything to go by.

The young woman's face was flushed from the strain, and he took a moment to marvel at how pretty she looked, before slamming right in, not giving her more time to adjust.

To his delight, she threw her head back, as if in pleasure, her eyes rolled back and mouth dropped open in a soundless gasp as her pussy was stuffed with his oversized cock.

"Fuck," he groaned, wishing he'd undressed her completely when he bit into her shoulder and was met with the dissatisfying material of her dress rather than her delicious skin.

With no more patience, he started rocking into her, barely pulling out before slamming back in, groaning as the soft sound of her muffled gasps echoed around them, his eyes feasting upon the way her full breasts bounced each time he thrust in.

When her shoes became a problem, not allowing him to move as freely as he liked, he yanked them off in frustration before ripping the tangled mess of leggings and underwear off as well and tossing them aside.

Then, he pulled her onto his lap till her cunt was flush against him, his cock driving even deeper into her warm, wet folds.

With her back arched deliciously in this angle, the Uchiha's moans became louder, and she could almost swear the cock ploughing her was going all the way up to her throat. She felt a little dizzy, but she couldn't help but let her legs fall open wider in invitation, her blurry gaze fixed on the large blue form of the man she'd come to see as sort of a big brother over the years. Not anymore, she thought giddily to herself.

Kisame was pleasantly surprised when she giggled, looking completely out of it, and he responded by fucking her harder. He had his answer- she was definitely a cockslut.

"What's so funny, baby," he crooned, bracketing the endearment with sharper thrusts groaning as her nails dug into the exposed skin of his thighs in reflex.

"Jusss thinking about how y're not my brother anymo," she managed, though her speech was slurred and her breath being repeatedly punched out wasn't helping.

Kisame raised a brow, almost breaking into a cackle. This was fucked up.

"You're a dirty lil girl, yanno?" he said instead, sounding far too breathless for his liking.

She just giggled and wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling moans out of them both as the movement sheathed him in her smaller body completely.

As he continued to move into her, she thoughtlessly pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss, moaning as his hips stuttered in response.

The older man swore under his breath and hiked her hips higher, angling himself so he could rub her clit without breaking his momentum.

Her hands flew up to grip his arms, thighs twitching around him where they bracketed him, as high pitched moans fell from her reddened lips. Kisame could get used to the sight.

He chased his building high, keeping up the pace and not letting up as her body jerked and shuddered with pleasure, her cunt gripping his cock impossibly hard and throbbing around him as she came first. Kisame groaned, almost spilling then too, but he managed to wait till he'd fucked her through her orgasm before pulling out one last time and burying ballsdeep again, filling her with his load till her soft tummy bulged prettily.

Her eyes were still glassy, her chest heaving as she came down from the high, and Kisame gave in to the urge to lean down and capture her mouth in a filthy kiss.

"Good kitty," he muttered before pulling out, smirking at the sight of her pussy gaping wide open from taking him, and streaks of their mixed cum started to spill out.

"Let's getchu cleaned up," he said, pulling his gaze away from the delicious sight, only to chuckle when he saw her blissfully passed out.

Oh well. He didn't mind getting her cleaned up and dressed. Being caretaker wasn't so bad after all, the swordsman mused.

A/N: uh. this turned out to be very fun to write. i was planning to introduce itachi too but this got too long. maybe next time lol any typos will be fixed as soon as i find them

[suvidrache]

Sleeping Headcanons - Part 1

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 176 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version | Part 2

Featuring: Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Nagato (Pain)

Deidara

Sleeps shirtless. Will either cuddle or have an arm around you.

Hidan

Naked, he loves the feeling of your naked body against his. Will cuddle and be very touchy. Plus, sex is a lot easier without the removal of clothes.

Kakuzu

He sleeps shirtless, cuddling s/o or an arm around you.

Kisame

Sleeps naked, cuddling s/o or s/o on top of him.

Nagato (Pain)

He sleeps shirtless or fully clothed and will cuddle you.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[historicfailure]

Work Under Water

6. Chapter: Washed onto the Next Best Shore

Kisame finally explains why he continues to flirt - and shows it, too.

~ X ~

Hey there, sorry for the long wait. I had lots of stuff going on in my life, and I don't know, possibly had writer's block without even realizing it. Now though, I feel like I can do something about these left and abandoned stories again. If that "something" is good or not, that's not for me to judge. I hope you guys like this new addition. Thanks for reading and have fun :D

~ X ~

The first date was a resounding success. After swimming with Kisame, the two of you laid on the grass and dried under the sun, and even though you hid away beneath your towel, that talk had felt like Kisame truly tried to get to know you on a deeper level. The conversation with him grew deeper as well, continuing all throughout the afternoon and the better part of dinner. The sun nearly vanished in the darkening sky as Kisame dropped you off at the lake again, where your parked car still waited.

As you opened the door of the truck in the nearly empty parking lot and wanted to climb out, Kisame was faster. One hand landed on your arm, holding you back before you could slip away.

“Have a good night, (Y/N).”

The casual touch made your breath hitch. Fuck. How could something so simple as the touch of a hand on your arm could be this fantastic to you? Was it the fact that only a few people ever did this? Touch you just for the sake of touching you?

Fuck, am I really that touch-starved?

He has me in the palm of his hand, for sure.

Does he know? I hope not. 

A smile formed on your face, easy and light. “I hope you have a good night, too.”

His smile turned up a few notches. “Oh, now it definitely is. And think about a second date with me, alright?”

Without a question in your mind, there would be a second date. God, you needed a second date. Like the damned crave for sweets at 2am hit you with a vengeance, you needed that second date. And a third, a fourth, and so on. After just one date with Kisame, you wanted more. More of his voice, more of his touch, more of him in all varieties. Being so addicted to him in a matter of a few hours should scare you, but on the contrary: you felt like you were floating as you walked over the hard parking lot towards your car, got in and waved one last time before you drove off. 

Kisame waited until you left the lot safely, only then he left as well. Making sure you were on your way home, before he went to his own home. A kind gesture, and one you appreciated greatly. On the few dates that you had, the men tended to try to shoot their shot, and when you made clear that nothing sexual would happen on the first date, their play-pretend interest in you evaporated like morning dew under the hot summer sun. 

Barely at home, you fought with yourself a little bit before texting Kisame. Was it too soon? Too rash? Too much? The questions swirled around in your head, but that couldn’t stop your fingers from typing out a message to him and sending it off. 

>It was a wonderful first date. Thank you so much for this day. :)

The answer came in an instant. Like Kisame had waited for your message with his phone in his hands.

>It was my pleasure. Sooo… About that second date…?

A little smile flashed over your face.

> I would love to. If you’re up for it.

> Now that you agreed, you’re not getting off the hook that easily.

It should feel like a threat. Something dangerous and threatening, something anxiety-inducing. Instead, there was a warm tingle spreading from the pit of your stomach all throughout your body. Still in your clothes and with your skin feeling suspiciously like you had a sunburn, you fell into your bed, all the while pressing your phone to your chest. 

You could try. You would, that much was clear. But you didn’t expect that tingle and the warmth, the little fluttering of your heart when Kisame gave again confirmation that he wanted to see you again. 

For the second date, you picked the location. Even though it was tempting to simply pick the secret spot at the lake once more, you went with a simple picnic in the park, followed by a walk through the greenery. Seeing Kisame with clothes on was still a bit weird, and you somehow expected him to wear a pair of swimming shorts beneath the rough jeans he wore to the date. Together with the marine-blue loose t-shirt, which still managed to cling to his muscles in all the right ways, it made Kisame easily the most attractive man in the park. 

A fact a few people also noticed. And they noticed you beside that attractive man, walking beside him, talking with him, being touched by him. And some obviously asked themselves what you had so Kisame spent his time with you.

He noticed. Of course, he did, you weren’t that secretive about your growing insecurity. 

Suddenly, Kisame stopped in his tracks. You nearly walked past him, but paused and turned ever so slightly to him. “What’s the matter?”

“You’re thinking way too loudly.” His askew cheeky grin made your heart pound harder in your chest. He reached out, and when his big fingers closed around your smaller hand, your heart felt like leaping out of your throat. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“And what?” Despite the anxiety chewing at your insides, you dared to raise your chin in defiance. “What could I possibly think?”

“That you’re somehow not worthy to be here with me. That you’re not good enough. That the others look at you with disdain.” Kisame stepped a little bit closer. Just enough for the tips of his shoes to hit yours. Somehow, the new closeness stole your breath away. “But,” he leaned even closer, so close his mouth was tantalizing you with its look, and you could feel his breath ghost over your face, “but I want this. I want you. Only you. Never forget that.”

It didn’t matter anymore that the two of you were standing right on a neatly cared path leading through a wide park, with lots of people nearby to stare at the very open closeness between the two of you. But with your heart pounding and your blood rushing in your ears, you couldn’t care less. There was only Kisame, his scent, his body. All of him, and you were drowning. 

Will he…?

Oh god, no.

Oh god, yes. Yes, please.

For a few long moments, you wished and prayed that he would lean down further. That  you maybe found some courage and leaned in instead, to do what you wanted to do so desperately that it hurt. To feel his lips against yours, with the knowledge and security that he wanted you, warming you from within. 

But it didn’t happen. Kisame merely winked, like he could read your thoughts down to the comma, before straightening himself out. “I know what you want, little one. But you know what they say.”

“What?” You fell into step beside him, with your hand still held by his, his grip gentle and warm against your skin. 

“Third time, and by that I mean the infamous third date, is the charm.” Your hands, with the fingers tightly yet gently intertwined, swayed between your bodies. Such a nice touch, you forgot about anyone else but him.

It was so terribly easy to believe that it was real. You wanted to believe him, and part of you already did. Still, there was a tiny voice whispering and murmuring in your head. The voice was silent whenever you were with Kisame and talked with him, but it grew louder and louder whenever you were alone. 

Your insecurities were just muted when you were with him, not simply gone. You wished life would be that easy, but it rarely was. That was why you still felt like puking when you pulled up to the lake again, decked out with a two-piece swimsuit, light clothes and some light food, fitting for one of the last days of the summer. The nights got colder, sharp winds blew from time to time, and thankfully, rain started to come down more regularly. The last weeks of the hot drought took a toll on the environment, but in the next few days, the forecast announced rain and thunder.

Maybe, rain would fall even sooner than that. You could feel the humidity on your skin as you slipped out of your car, encompassing you like a coat as you made your way over to the beach. At the top of the hill, which descended into the sandy area, you could overlook the entire beach. Your eyes automatically went to the highest vantage point: the lifeguard seat. And there he was, the man you were casually — or maybe not so casually, as you hoped — seeing. Even over the distance, you could see how the man lounged in his chair, the long legs stretched out and dangling, one arm draped over the armrest, the other loosely holding onto a water bottle. A white tee hung from his shoulders, stuck to his skin in places where the sweat glued it to him. That meant he didn’t have to go into the water at all today, or just very early into his shift. 

You smiled. It also meant Kisame would be antsy to swim a few rounds. By now, you managed to find out one simple truth about the man: he loved to be in the water. A day spent without going for a swim was for him a wasted day. Even worse when it was hot and humid. 

You took a quick peek at your phone. Yeah, Kisame’s shift really was over in a few more minutes. Then, a little idea sparked in your brain. Yes, it was definitely a great idea. Before you knew it, you had opened your messenger app and typed out a quick message. Just a tiny hint of newly discovered cheekiness at play, and your thumb sent out the message before you could think too much about it. 

Of course, Kisame couldn’t really look at his phone. But only a few minutes after your message, the lanky guy with white hair stepped out of the small hut for the lifeguards. Without a hurry, he strolled over to the seat, with his arms crossed behind his head. 

Aah. Shift change. 

A bit late. And not hurrying in the slightest. 

Cheeky little…

Watching from afar was possibly even funnier than being up close. Like this, you could fully take in the scene: Kisame turning his head and spotting the younger lifeguard, who then climbed out of his seat and down from the higher vantage point. There, he waited, and waited, and waited for the younger guy to finally reach the stand, while he crossed his arms over his chest as he saw what you were witnessing. To say that he dressed the younger lifeguard down would be an overstatement. Just a small exchange of words, in which Kisame raised his fingers at the younger man, before walking off with wide strides. His eyes were intently set on his goal: the hut for the lifeguards. Only when he was halfway across the beach, he checked his phone, which he had placed into a small bag, together with his water bottle and sunscreen. All of those items were valuable for his job. 

He stopped in the middle of his tracks. Again, he read over the message, only for his head to snap up and scan his surroundings. 

> you’re looking good up there. Can’t wait to see you in the water, though. ;)

You knew he spotted you when his eyes met yours. Even over the distance, you could feel his look ghost over your body like fingers. From head to toe, he mustered you. A pleasant shudder wandered down your back, goose bumps peppering your arms and legs from the raw intensity of his look. Then, he raised his phone to his mouth, spoke for a moment, only to raise the same hand in a little wave. 

A few moments later, your phone pinged. Without looking, you knew the message was from Kisame. 

Just a short message, merely a few seconds long. You pressed the play button, your heart trembling at the prospect of hearing his voice already, while your eyes followed Kisame’s body, which had continued its way towards the hut.

“I’m looking good up there? Babe, why don’t you tell me stuff like this when I’m with you, huh? Then, I could at least tell you the same.”

A smile flashed over your lips. The way he said it… It sounded like he felt just as impatient as you possibly did. Yeah, you didn’t forget the stuff he said about the “third date”. Back at the park, it had been a promise, and now, it could become reality. 

Something deep down in your stomach curled. Curled and heated up, and the heat spread through all of your limbs. Subconsciously, you gripped your phone tighter. Fuck, you were down bad. Down bad for this man. Really, it was unfair.

Just so me to fall so much for someone.

Even if he’s into me, it’s like comparing an avalanche against some light snow. 

I’m sure I’m way more into him than he’s into me.

Before more doubts could arise, the door of the lifeguard-hut flew open, so hard that when it hit the wood of the wall, the entire building seemed to shake. 

Kisame stepped out, now dressed into a floral Hawaiian shirt, which was still open and fluttered around his naked torso more than it covered him up, and another pair of swimming shorts. 

“Sorry,” he spoke so loudly you could clearly understand him even over the distance, “won’t happen again. Have a nice day!” Before anyone could answer, Kisame threw the door shut again and came towards you in a half-jog, half relaxed walk. 

“Hey there.” His cheeky smile was infectious. Your own smile instantly brightened as he leaned down for a short hug. Just for a second, his arm around your shoulder pressed your body close to his, and the scent of sunscreen, lake water and something deeply musky enveloped you. Before you knew it, you took a deep breath in, and that breath kindled the heat inside of you. 

Yup. You were really down bad for him.

Kisame loosened the hug and stepped a small step back. His eyes flew up and down your figure, something akin to appreciation and possibly even adoration in his eyes. “Finally, I can return the compliment. You’re looking hot as hell today.”

“You’re overreacting.” Despite your insistence, you could feel how your face grew warmer. Such a simple compliment, and you were melting. Damn Kisame and his charm! Only barely, you lowered your eyes, only to flinch the tiniest bit when his fingers gently stopped you from doing so.

“Oh no,” Kisame grinned, “not today. Not when it’s the third date. You might think I have been terrible before, but you have seen nothing, babe.”

Babe. Uuurgh. 

Is it normal to get weak in the knees just because of that?

I never liked that nickname. But… I could get used to it.

And the way Kisame said it… Like he was caressing the syllable with his tongue, tasting every letter with the sensuality of a true, dedicated lover, with attention to detail and all the time on his hands. You really felt a little bit weak in the knees, just enough to excuse leaning into his hand as the one cupping your chin flattened against your face. 

“As much as I would love to stand here and grow roots with you,” his grin revealed more of his unusually sharp teeth, and just for a second, you imagined those teeth lightly digging into the sensitive skin of your shoulder, “I can’t wait to get alone with you. I have so much planned.”

“Planned?” you echoed. Really, it was hard to think at the moment. “What exactly?”

“Not much.” He shrugged. “Just a bit of swimming, relaxing, lying around in the sun, making out… You know, the usual.”

“Wait…” Did you hear that right? But before you could ask about what he said, Kisame’s thumb swiped over your lips, then suddenly fell away. Tingles spread all over your lips, making a whimper rise in your throat. What the hell was going on today with him? 

“I’m afraid I can’t wait. You neither. Let’s go to our spot, alright? Then we can… talk. And do the other things I mentioned.”

Your heart pounded at the speed of lightning as Kisame tugged gently at your hand, then started to walk towards the sandy parking lot. Also, your mind was reeling at the things which just happened. Like he promised, the third date would surely be memorable and a wild ride on top of that.

Heh. Wild ride.

Oh, shut up.

But yes. I hope it will be a wild ride.

Your face grew even warmer as you listened to your own horny thoughts. You definitely enjoyed some written porn occasionally, but your own sexual experiences were kind of limited. So, now, with the prospect of being thrust into that kind of situation, you were overcome with a totally different kind of jitter than before.

The walk back to the car was easily forgotten in your mind. The only part you could concentrate on with crystal-clear clarity was the feeling of your small hand in his, the many calluses, the way his fingers tightened as he led you towards his car, and the way his touch lingered just for a little bit longer before he let go, right when you were about to climb into his truck. 

You were still trying to get your warm face back under control when Kisame slipped into his own seat behind the wheel. But you were unsuccessful, measured at the newly awakened cheeky grin spreading across his face as he glanced at you before starting the engine. 

“Don’t,” you warned him, “just… don’t.”

“I haven’t said anything.”

“You’re thinking way too loudly.”

“Believe me,” Kisame craned his neck to leave his parking spot backwards, with one hand safely secured on your seat, the other at the wheel, “if you could truly read my thoughts, then I would be in hot water.”

“Why?”

“Because from the very first moment,” another glance to you, then Kisame turned his eyes completely towards the road ahead of him, “my thoughts about you were completely indecent.”

That did absolutely nothing to calm the raging flush on your face. Nor did it calm you down, with the quickly growing lust burning through your veins like a forest fire. It made you squirm around, wringing your fingers together even though it was in plain sight for Kisame, and the need and want for something you barely really experienced made you press your thighs together.

A sudden hand captured yours, pressing it to the top of your thigh. The touch made the squirming even worse, but you definitely couldn’t wring your hands anymore, not like this. 

“Nothing to say to that revelation?” he asked. His tone was deep and rich, all smooth honey and rich smoke. “Or are you so blown away by that?”

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” you admitted, “and, to continue being honest, I’m also really, really overthrown by your sudden… advances.”

“Advances?”

“Yes, advances. I…” You swallowed dryly, all the while your thumb twiddled with his index finger. “I never had someone… saying such things to me.”

“It’s about time, then.”

“But why now?” The pad of your thumb circled the rough knuckle of his index finger. You stopped for a moment, thought and sorted your thoughts, before continuing. Slowly, with every word weighing on your tongue like iron. “Why… The first two dates were, like… They felt like you wanted to get to know me. This… now it feels like you only want to get into my pants.”

He shrugged. “Can’t I want both at the same time?”

“Yes, of course. But… it was never like that with me.”

“And that’s,” he slowed down the truck, preparing to turn into the small pocket leading into the forest, “exactly the reason why I’m doing it.”

His answer confused you even more. What was that supposed to mean? Some kind of twisted pleasure in seeing you all flushed and flustered? Was that it? Deep down, though, you knew that wasn’t the solution. No, the real answer to the question felt like the one thing you feared a little bit, because it would be so hard to accept: that he was genuinely interested in you. In your personality and in your body, desired both, even. 

As you struggled your way through the thought process, Kisame parked the truck between the trees. As he fastened the handbrake, he had to pull his hand away, but as soon as the engine was off, his touch was back. Insistent yet gentle, unfolding your fingers and allowing them to curl around his hand again.

Your eyes were glued to that miraculous sight. A big hand wrapped around yours, obviously enjoying the feel of your hand in his. 

“The reason,” he started, and his voice seemed to fill every nook and cranny of the car, “is so simple. Because you hinted at something like this on our last date.”

“I did?”

As far as his seat and the limited space allowed, Kisame scooted around. “Yeah. Really, only hinted at. Took me some time to get it.”

“What a relief.” Even though you weakly chuckled, your insides seemed to freeze. What could he have possibly been thinking? 

“You don’t have a lot of experience with… things like this. Relationships. Romance.” Kisame paused. “Sex. And together with other, very human insecurities, resulted in you being nervous around me.”

“You noticed?”

“Babe,” another shudder wandered down your back, so strong you had to close your eyes, “it was pretty hard not to notice.”

“Right.” You still didn’t look up, just continued to twiddle with his fingers. “And why now this… this charm-offense?” 

“Cool people also call it flirting, you know? And I want to flirt with you because I hope that it will boost your confidence a bit. And make you actually believe that I’m interested in you. Mind, body, the entire package,” he answered. His fingers flexed around yours, only to gently slip away. “But if you don’t want that, just tell me and I will stop. Alright?”

“Alright,” you mumbled. The heat on your face would probably stay there forever. No chance to go back to your original body temperature, not when Kisame was so close and so charming. As you climbed out of the car, while he was busy unloading the back of his trunk, you tried to make sense of the revelation.

Kisame wants to flirt with me.

Because he wants to give me some confidence in myself.

And because he finds me attractive.

You couldn’t believe it fully, not yet. But maybe, just maybe, you believed it a tiny bit more than before. And as you continued to watch him, with his sweaty muscles moving right below the fabric of his tee, something inside your chest grew. The small spark of hesitant craving, kindled by the touches and his comments and his unwavering want for you to believe in him, grew more and more. 

Fuck, you wanted him. Wanted this. And just once, you wanted to… Just once, you wanted to be brave and confident and sexy, all the things you never had been. But somehow, he saw those qualities in you, and when he described you in the brightest colors… you felt instantly ten kilos lighter, with your heart leaping out of your chest and a smile lifting the corners of your mouth.

And you tried. Kisame was still busy unloading the truck, setting down bag after bag onto the ground. So, he didn’t look into your direction when you stepped up behind him, but he definitely noticed your tentative hand reaching out and touching his shoulder.

Just a small touch. Nothing big, merely your fingers gracing over the curve of his shoulder. The first contact initiated by you, because you wanted to. 

The reaction was instant. Kisame stopped all of his movement. A tremble flared through him, but he held impossibly still. A statue, just for you. For you to touch and explore and discover. Again, your hand reached over, followed the sharp curve of his shoulder. Down, to the iron cable of his biceps. The muscle twitched beneath your touch, just a small flare. But you felt it; felt the miniscule motion in the palm of your hand, as well as a wave of heat washing through your veins. 

You continued the careful discovery of Kisame’s arm, while the newly found and small spark of bravery made you open your mouth and form words which forced itself into existence. 

“You make me want to be the person you see in me, Kisame. Really, I want to. But…” You shrugged weakly. “I don’t know how.”

When Kisame moved, your hand fell away. His warmth though didn’t. He turned and stepped closer, so close you were forced to look up into his face as your nose would have otherwise hit his sternum. He looked down on you, and you couldn’t help but squirm beneath his gaze. 

If he touches me right now, I will spontaneously combust.

“I can give you a hint, if you want.” His face was suddenly closer. Startled, you stepped backwards, but there was only the side of the truck. Kisame followed, effectively blocking you in, and leaving you with nothing but weak knees, a quickly beating heart and the nervous jitter of anticipation rummaging through your body. He closed in on you, with his arms extending, caging you in between the truck and his naked chest, only framed by the flaps of his floral Hawaiian shirt.

“Is that enough of a hint?” His eyes fluttered down to your mouth, only to flick back up again. “Or do you need… more proof?”

“Yes.” You almost didn’t recognize your own voice, all breathless and needy. Barely above a whisper, and despite the closeness, you weren’t sure if Kisame heard you. But before you could speak up again, he leaned in, and you knew.

Knew when his lips met yours. Barely contained hunger, mixed with hard-earned experience, still a bit wet and tasting of the lake, but still so uniquely him — the kiss was all Kisame, and you could do nothing but ride it out. And god, you wanted to ride it out. With a low moan vibrating deep in your throat, you opened your mouth. Needing him, all of him. Your arms came up, small hands splayed across strong shoulders, holding on just barely, clawing into the warm skin and tight cords of muscles. A gasp was drowned in his mouth as his tongue met yours, first shy and playful, only to flick across your lips with devilish intent. Just for a moment, he pulled back, and you could feel his lips smiling against your mouth. 

“You’re burning for me, babe. So eager and innocent to feel.” His grin widened just a fraction, before he pressed another quick kiss to your lips, albeit it wasn’t any less hot and made your toes wiggle in your shoes. It left you dizzy, with your head spinning, and your eyes fluttered open just in time to see Kisame’s half-lidded eyes and the quickest flash of sharp teeth. At that, your knees grew weak. Fuck, now you were happy about the truck in your back as it kept you upright and standing in the face with Kisame’s… entire being.

He’s… so fucking hot. I’m melting.

Am I melting? Yeah, to a freaking puddle right at his feet, begging to be stepped on. 

Internet horniness has ruined me in that regard. Because I’m so close to just asking to be stepped on.

Thankfully, you didn’t actually ask that. Just a pitiful little whimper left your mouth as Kisame stepped away, with his eyebrows wiggling like the devil he was.

“And please believe me when I say,” his eyes raked up and down your figure, taking every little detail — the slightly disheveled hair, the reddened lips, the hazy look in your eyes — in, “that I’m burning for you just as much, babe. Maybe even more so.”

Only slowly, the meaning of his words filtered through the fog of deep craving for another kiss. He wanted you. Wanted to kiss you, wanted to touch you. But the insecurity inside you still reared its ugly head, slithering around and whispering about your size, your looks and your taste in clothes. As you picked up your stuff and followed Kisame down the beaten path into the forest, you were still pondering. Pondering and trying to reason with yourself. 

Will I ever feel secure? Secure enough to not doubt this every minute of the day?

Will Kisame continue to be this understanding? Or will I annoy him soon enough with my constant self-doubt?

I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know. 

[sophiebugg]

Kisame scenario at the festival

You and Kisame are at a festival in the nearby town because he has a few days off of work. Neither of you were actually from here. Kisame just so happened to hear there was a festival and decided to treat you to a little something. You two lovebirds walk around, eat a couple things, have an overall good time, but then... your eyes glance at 'it'. It was the axe throwing game.

You feel nervous as you look at it and try to get your fiance Kisame to move to a different location before he notices it. Unfortunately, it's too late. He swiftly, (and tightly), grabs your hand and pulls you over to it. Kisame signs the form and grabs the axes, getting you both prepared. If you were being honest, you were terrified of weapons. That's why you were so eager to avoid it.

Kisa assured you that everything will be alright and that he trusts you. You sigh, knowing you don't really have a choice. Your shaky hands pick up the axe and throw it, only to see that it didn't even hit the target. 'At least no one got hurt' you think to yourself.

Just then you hear the man of pure muscle next to you grunt as he throws the axe. He must've thrown it too hard because it landed on top of the target. But when you took a closer look, the axe slid down the wall, cutting the target in half. You gasp and turn to him. He was just standing there.... proud of himself? He mustn't have done this before.

The group running the stand are absolutely terrified. They'd never seen such a performance! In fact, they might have even hired him if it wasn't for his, and I quote, "shark man face". The leader nervously hands Kisame

[wing-ed-thing]

Kisame’s Advice — Platonic Relationship Headcanons

𓆃The physical embodiment of impulse

𓆃Bless you if you’re ever on the fence about a decision and think it a good idea to ask Kisame for advice

𓆃Let’s be real. Kisame is a smart guy and could capably take you though the logistics of any given situation

𓆃But logic ≠ reason and no matter how sound the conversation may be at first, you are almost guaranteed to end up with violence as the answer because he genuinely thinks that it’s the most logical solution

𓆃Someone has been disrespectful with you? Show them who’s boss. Can’t finagle a deal? Force it, come out on top and get what you want.

𓆃For Kisame, the clearest solution is to dig into the issue with your hands and get what you want. Perhaps not everything could be solved with punching specifically— he would claim that most things could— but he believes most things can be worked out with some persistence

𓆃Equally cathartic and horrible influence for you shyer folk

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

𓆃Violence is not the answer! Violence is the question and the answer is yes!

𓆃BEAT HIS ASS, BRO! BEAT HIS ASS, BRO!

[naruto-scenarios-plus-akatsuki]

I love love love the reader invades the akatsuki series, could you release the next part?

Thank you for the request :)

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Reader infiltrates the Akatsuki’s base: Part VIIII

You were running as fast as your legs could carry you. Your heart was racing and the blood was pumping fast through your veins. Your chakra levels were spiking, and you could feel your pursuer closing in. You were afraid to be captured once again, even though you were promised it wouldn’t happen. The seal on the back of your neck burning with intensity.

You were being followed by your enemy and by your fellow allies: Itachi and Kisame. You trusted Itachi more so than Kisame but not enough to make the fear disappear. You were going to be captured; that was part of the plan since you were bait, yet you were still going to put up a good fight and you were going to try your hardest to keep from being drugged again.

You pulled out a paper bomb in your determination. The trees were getting sparse, and Manzo was hot on your tail. You placed a couple paper bombs on the passing trees as you weaved through the thinning foliage. Explosions followed a few seconds afterwards and then silence, but you kept moving.

Suddenly you heard the ground grumble from behind you and felt the tremors from under the ground. You checked over your shoulder briefly and saw the earth catching up to you on both sides. You knew this earth style jutsu. It was a pursuit jutsu where the rocks followed its target like a zigzagging underground snake. The rocks were catching up to you and you could tell the jutsu was going to cut you off right as you made it out of the tree line to an open plain.

You grab another paper bomb in preparation. Manzo was closing in. You had to make this believable. The twin underground rock snakes sped pass you and merged in front of you creating a barrier of rock. You threw the paper bomb ahead of you at the rock formation. You didn’t change course as the bomb exploded and you jumped over and through the hole of the tumbling rocks. You landed gracefully and were ready to continue to run when your feet were caught by the ground like quicksand.

You gasped and within seconds the earth twisted and ate you up to where nothing but your head and shoulders were above the ground. You were caught and not a second later, Manzo stood in front of you.

He squatted by your head looking you directly in the eyes through his creepy tracker mask. You struggled to break free, but the dirt was too compact with chakra to move an inch. Your heart was racing overtime as the man chuckled.

“We meet again, Y/N.” He spoke calmly and very much pleased.

“Let me go! You’re making a mistake!” You shouted, your voice cracking.

“I don’t think I am. I know a traitor when I see one. Where’s your partners?” Manzo quipped, not phased.

“There not my partners” you lied pathetically.

“Right…:” Manzo spoke sarcastically. He started digging into his knapsack at his hip. “You could have fooled me. Foes don’t typically save one another. Now let’s pick up where we left off last time to get to the truth of the matter,” Manzo stated unsympathetic as your eyes widened in fear.

“Not so fast,” Itachi’s cool voice cut through the air.

Manzo paused and turned to look at the pair as he slowly stood up straight to face them. Itachi and Kisame stood on the other side of the clearing and from where you were at they certainly looked intimidating. Kisame’s hand was already on his sword’s handle and Itachi had his hand poking out from his Akatsuki cloak with his sharingan activated.

Manzo chuckled slightly from beneath his mask. “Did you really think I would come alone?” He asked with amusement in his voice.

Suddenly ten stone shinobi appeared into the clearing landing beside Manzo. You couldn’t sense their chakras and a pit sank into your stomach as you recognize the familiar masks. You swallowed thickly. Not because this stone division was formidable but because they were comrades you used to work with.  

“Meet the Stone’s Covert Division. A silent and undetected group of shinobi all capable of hiding their chakra for scouting and ambushing opponents. The same division that Y/N was brought up in and they have every intention in helping me bring back one of their one,” your captor declared.

Itachi did not seem phased as Kisame smirked arrogantly not at all intimidated.

Manzo continued in confidence after taking out an object from his pocket, holding it diligently in his hands. “Leave or face your fears.”

“I believe its time you face yours,” Itachi answered coolly.

Manzo stood frozen in place while his comrades glanced at his state briefly, before engaging to attack as Itachi called out Kisame’s name. Kisame’s gave a smile as he pulled his sword out from behind his back and charged in front of Itachi covering him to clash with the stone ninja. You watched in horrific shock as Kisame cut a few of your former comrades down with ease in a gruesome bloody scene. You looked away as Itachi joined the fight. You realized the dirt surrounding you had lost its strength and was soft. You looked up at Manzo seeing he was still paralyzed from whatever Itachi had done to him, most likely a genjutsu.

You rushed to break your arms free from the ground with the sounds of your fellow shinobi screams filling the background noise. One of the shinobi let off a smoke bomb, no doubt to add coverage to sneak up on Akatsuki to gain the upper hand. You could only feel some of your comrades, their chakra either hidden or having been snuffed out completely. You tried not to concentrate on the scene as you struggled out of the dirt. A stray shuriken flew out and cut your cheek. You hissed putting more effort into getting your legs free.

Once you were freed, you crawled over to the tree line and turned your attention back to the battle at hand, not sure what to do and who to help. The smoke was dissipating and within seconds there was silence.

You could see a figure merging out of the smoke and your heart began racing until you recognized the familiar being as Itachi. His eyes were glowing red and his face expressionless. He was truly scary, but you felt no fear. It was when the smoke completely vanished did your stomach drop at the ghastly scene of blood and your comrades lifeless bodies slew on the ground with Kisame standing victorious in the center.

Itachi approached the paralyzed Manzo. He took the pod of gas from the man’s hand and slipped it inside his Akatsuki coat. Then, Itachi placed his hand on Manzo’s shoulder and forced his unresistant body onto his knees before glancing over to your wan face.

You swallowed thickly, feeling the blood from the cut on your cheek run down your face. You wiped it away and stood up shaking a bit, trying to keep yourself composed. Kisame stepped forward to Itachi looking down at Manzo’s face.

“Looks like we were successful.” Kisame rasped before turning to you and giving you a shark-like grin. “You make pretty great bait, shrimp,” he jested with a low chuckle.

“We need to bind him and find somewhere inconspicuous so that I can interrogate him further with tsukuyomi. There’s no telling how long it will take. We need to get out of the open.”

“No problem,” Kisame reached forward and tied up Manzo with a rope he pulled out of his cloak. Once he was tied up, Kisame threw the target up over his shoulder to carry him. All the while Itachi was staring at you as you were trying not to look at the murder scene. You felt the tingle of the rose seal burning against the back of your neck.

You met Itachi’s eyes knowing he could feel what you felt. Yet not another word pass from his lips as the three of you headed off to find a spot far from the battle that just took place.

[sharkfinx]

< @kagami--uchiha​ | Return after the War >

          The war lasted four months, resources and people were lost (in majority on the other side). It was the first rebellion that happened towards his leadership, however it wasn't a surprise; After choosing an foreign Omega with a Kekkei Gekkai to be wed, it was just a matter of time or lack of brains to other big clans try their hand at that game.             Now it was over, the Hoshigaki’s clan had spared just a few and took in the survivors into their care and vigilance. It was another two months to settle things as land ownership and minor details. Looking at what was once his wedding ceremony being washed away in pieces didn't make him angry—but there was a weird feeling of worry he never felt before. Disappointment and a weight over his shoulders increasing with the result of his egoist choice.             The castle repairs were finished, the only thing missing was to bring back Kagami that had been sent back to their home country as soon as the whole fight started. Some of his advisers were opposed to Kisame going himself, but there was no other way. There were things he had to say to Kagami face to face, Uchiha elders to deal with. Just thinking about that made him want to just stay put and never leave Kiri again.            Their meeting felt like their first, just in another scenario. They were in a big room, Kisame sat in seiza style accompanied with personal soldiers just like the Elders where. Their talking took hours between new demands and lecturing. Kagami was there too, Kisame could only exchange a reassuring gaze. When finally the agreements were settled, he spoke calmly. 

          “I want to speak with Kagami. Only the two of us.” There was no grin or smile on his face, that moment was memorized many and many nights prior.

          “.... What a horrible wedding gift, nee?” Even with that, he couldn’t help but joke like that. “ Kagami san…... I cannot apologize for what happened.” The leader had a sad gaze as he talked, hands over the table that divided them.           “That's life if you stay with me, nee. Things like that can happen again and.. If I die first, they would never going to spare you; If you die first… I’ll end up having to just choose another wife. You understand? There’s nothing good.. As I noticed now. If it was someone else I wouldn’t care that much, I understand now why the ones before me had many wives… ” Kisame sighs deeply, trying his hardest to keep his personal opinions out of this.

          “If you want, you could choose some people from your family and I’ll sponsor a better place close by the castle. I’ll keep guards around….there’s no need to wed me.”           “—Of course. If you tell me to mark you right here and right now. I would have no choice but to forget all of that.  We...could bet on our luck on whatever happens from now on.”

“Tell me what you wish for.”

[thatsneakymedic]

If you had to pick a different muse, what would it be?

(ignore that is it Tuesday now)

@gunpowdergelatine-katsu

// XD This is alright and fine with me! I actually have quite a list of muses that I wanted to play since it almost feels like not a lot of people are in the Naruto fandom and this simple Kabuto blog is just hanging on. And it's getting harder to find rp partners that are active or not problematic. Or someone you had a bad history with in the past. But for me, believe it or not, I became a Kabuto blog because there wasn't any around in the past and I wanted to step in to fill that gap of wanted characters. So this question is pretty much a personal wishlist that I one day might do if I ever get the motivation or time for it.

It's going to be a long list so I'll put a readmore just in case. >_>

No. 1 Danzo Shimura

Need me to say anything more other than that there's absolutely no Danzo rpers around anymore and how I know sooooo many people would just LOVE to have one to rp the angst and the drama with. But I never really have the confidence to rp such a complicated character and the rather HUGE expectations and high amounts of time and research of rping them well. I also would LOVE to explore the whole ROOT activities and the rp scenarios too.

No. 2 Kisame Hoshigaki

Kisame has always been a favorite character of mine and their personality and deep backstory is so amazingly well done that I once wanted to rp the character and add in all of the hilarious dark humour jokes and his casual friendliness towards his enemies. But again, it's my lack of confidence of rping them right, and I'm more worried about rping him ship wise since I really have no idea what he would be into and tbh I still personally see the kisaita ship as one of friendly kind.

3. Orochimaru

Ah Orochimaru. Such a fandom menace that just the mention of their name would evoke several reactions in all kinds of people and the type of reactions speak volumes on the people who like/dislike them! I have been thinking of rping them as a way to help me cope with being hurt by an Orochimaru at some point in my life and for me to become said character in my own version would perhaps help me cope with that. But one major issue is that I will have to admit that being aware of Orochimaru's non-binary status, I often make several if not too many mistakes of mispronouncing or forgetting to add the pronouns and despite that I have improved and am getting used to saying They/them, I do however make mistakes every now and then. (right now, I'm literally having to reread this entire section to avoid saying "he/him" to avoid upsetting anyone. O_o) Another thing is that since I'm a straight woman with she/her pronouns, I'm not sure... if I would be able to fully understand Orochimaru's character well enough to rp them correctly. And I'm also one of the very few who is not down with calling Orochimaru a "queen" when they're really just... "parent" and an awesome scientist. But hey, they're doing an amazing job being an impressive single parent too!

On the other hand, I would LOVE to understand and roleplay out their way of thinking and the madness behind their choices and to explore their god plex would be so fun to do! And of course the parenting of Mitsuki would be fun too! ;_;

No. 4 Obito Uchiha/Tobi

XD Why else since he's also like third of my favorite characters and in other chat rooms, I have rped the character and it is hilarious to rp Tobi messing around with people so much! But I know full well that there's so much more to the character and seeing other Obito rpers rp them so amazingly, I rather am content with just watching and reading the replies than doing it myself. XD

No. 5 One of the many characters from the Final Fantasy 7 game

Not gonna lie, my main reason for my silence is because I have been getting into the game and observing the rpers who rp the characters and they're all so interesting that I lowkey wish that I could join in with the interaction. But at the same time, I've only been a fan after playing the remake and then playing the old 1997 game to fully understand the game and the story so I'm pretty much "not a real fan" if that's all I have done but it is an interest that I would like to rp with the folks there for the hell of it. I'm just... being an anon in the meantime. It's a shame that I never had the PS1 as a kid to really give this game the love it deserves.

[floorbe]

K/nktober Day 28: Sadomasochism

Byakuya Togami (Danganronpa) and Kisame Hoshigaki (Naruto)

tw kunai and blood for kisame//

Byakuya Togami (Male!Reader)

The tip of his shoe prods your cheek, nudging it before moving to tap under your chin. It suddenly jerks up, forcing you to face Togami, sitting cross legged above you as you kneel on the floor beneath him. He hums as he moves your head using his shoe, as if surveying your face. You try to not lock eyes with him, keeping your gaze on either the floor or the smooth fabric of his slacks.

As his shoe lightly kicks your chin, you make the mistake flicking your gaze up to his. You briefly see his apathetic expression, a fist holding up his leaning head as his eyes bore into you. That’s all you’re able to see before a sharp pain sparks in your cheek, and you’re jolted onto the floor. You vaguely recognize Togami’s shoe near your face, his leg gracefully extended despite the rough kick he’d delivered.

“I didn’t say you could look at me,” he nearly hisses, crossing his leg back over the other, “You aren’t worthy enough to look at someone like me.” He pauses as you lift yourself back up, ignoring the sharp ache in your jaw as you stare at the carpet below you. “Insignificant,” he reminds you, kicking you back with the heel of his shoe. You shiver as you hit the floor behind you, swallowing thickly at the new dull ache forming in your ribs.

You bite your lip at the feeling, squirming slightly before eagerly lifting yourself back up to kneel in front of him as he snaps his fingers. As soon as you settle back in you see his leg extend out towards you again, this time prodding at your lips. You furrow your brows confusedly, and he seems to recognize the expression, for he sighs heavily, “Kiss it. It’s the only bit of me you’ll ever get the chance to.” 

You intake sharply, and despite the heat flaming your face at the embarrassing ordeal you immediately lurch forward to press your lips against his shoe, the smooth material easily sliding against your mouth. As your lips part you’re suddenly jolted backwards as Togami forces his shoe into your mouth. You choke out a grunt as the rough bottom grinds against your bottom teeth, resisting the urge to clamp down on his foot.

He suddenly thrusts his leg forward, sending you backwards as his shoe scratches the inside of your mouth at the kick. You gasp as you fly backwards, his shoe leaving your mouth, barely catching yourself on your hands as you cough. You barely recognize Togami rising to his feet, crossing to you as you breathe heavily. As you weakly gaze up at his towering form, you can’t help the shudder that wracks your body as he sneers down at you.

“Vile.”

Kisame Hoshigaki (GN!Reader)

“Ahh, I didn’t expect you to ask me to do this,” Kisame tilts his head, a crooked grin spreading across his face as he drags his kunai roughly across your arm. “How fun,” he muses, twirling the bloody blade between his fingers as you quietly whine, making his grin push further up his face, “How cute.” The sharp sting of the cut makes you shudder, leaning forward to bury your face in Kisame’s neck as he chuckles.

He traces the blade along your bare back, his other hand coming up to dig his nails into your hip as you whimper. You moan as he suddenly digs the tip into your back, a spark of pain shooting through you at the puncture. “Having fun?” he murmurs teasingly, lightly scratching his nails along your side. You readily arch into him, pushing the kunai deeper into your back.

Your eyes flutter shut, panting heavily as Kisame twists the kunai within your back, shooting pain throughout your body as you involuntarily flinch, breathily whining. “More,” you gasp out against his neck, clinging onto his shoulders, “More, more, please...” You choke out a moan as he drags the blade down your back, reveling in the way you call his name as he carves into your body. 

You gasp out as he suddenly shifts, dipping his head to sink his teeth into your exposed shoulder. You cry out at the sharp pain, eyes rolling back as he hums against your skin. You vaguely recognize the kunai being removed from you, along with Kisame’s teeth disconnecting from your skin much too soon for your liking. He tugs you away from him, and you’re about to whine in disappointment when he sends you a bloody grin, a dangerous glint in his eyes that sends a rush of excitement through you.

“How about we let Samehada have some fun, too?”

[nardo-headcanons]

(former) hidden mist ninja and their self care smh

[mangekyuou]

                                             YOU’RE PITIFUL ━ﾞ

⁺◟   PROMPT . . .           hoskigaki kisame           fem!reader           hidan

⁺◟   GENRE . . .           angst           oneshot

⁺◟   SYNOPSIS . . .           in a plan to make the love of           his life jealous for once and           put his insecurities to rest, he           instead ruins whatever relationship           he had left with her

⁺◟   CONTENT WARNINGS . . .           mentions of insecurities

⁺◟   WORD COUNT . . .           1.0k.

⁺◟   COMMENTARY . . .           this is loosely based off of the song           you’re pitiful by fiestar. this actually           hurt to write ngl

“Kisame...” A voice trailed off, grabbing the attention of the tall, blue-grey man. He looked over his shoulder, his face dropping a bit, to pretend as if he were surprised.

Though he had planned this from the beginning, his face had truly dropped as he focused on her face, taking in her distraught expression and body language, her teary eyes, her gaped mouth, her shaking fists turning into tight fists.

This was not part of the plan, far from it actually.

“( y/n )...”

A head of slicked-back silver hair with violet eyes, appeared next to the woman, holding his triple-pronged scythe behind his back. He took in ( y/n )’s face, seeing her eyes fixated on the sight in front of her. He took a look for himself, he raised an eyebrow, “Well I’ll be damned! Oi! Fishfuck! What the hell?! Never thought you would stoop as low as to cheat!”

Next to the blue-grey man was an unfamiliar woman, snuggling into his side, trying to inch herself toward his lap. She held an empty glass in her left hand, as she hiccuped cutely. Her dark eyes, met the red eyes of ( y/n )’s, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you. Poor thing,” She hiccuped.

( y/n )’s heartbroken expression turned to that of anger, her eyes darkening with rage and hunger. She stepped toward, Hidan putting out his hand in front of her.

“That whore isn’t worth it, ( y/n ). Neither is old fish face, here. We should go before I fuck everyone up in here,” Hidan growled. She turned around, beginning to walk out of the bar, the silver-headed man wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders.

“So that’s it? You choose him over me again?”

She stopped, turning to her lover, “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“What do you mean what am I talking about?” He stood up from his stool, letting the broad attached to his hip, fall to the hard ground. She watched anger rise within him. It was as if he grew another few inches, despite him already towering over her.

He clenched his fists, inching toward his lover and the man who he found himself hating the most, “It’s always Hidan this, Hidan that! All you do is spend time with Hidan! His arm is always draped across your shoulders, he’s always the one making you laugh, he’s always the one taking you places, he’s always the one you want to do missions with! And I’m just left behind to just watch the two of you be happy. I’m just supposed to sit back and be some sort of pet you walk over! I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND DAMNIT! YET YOU NEGLECT ME LIKE I’M NOTHING TO YOU!”

She jumped at the sound of him screaming. He had never screamed at her before. It was like he was someone completely different. The screams, the veins in his neck aching to pop. She could not recognize the man she had fallen in love with years ago.

The man who she had met when she first joined the Akatsuki, was the only one she could relate to. The two were originally from Kirigakure and he shared her hatred for the place and its government. Through accompanying one another on missions and sparring, she had fallen in love with him, helping confess her feelings for him with the help of Hidan.

The Jashinist who quickly became one of her close friends, as they were closer in age and she was curious about his religion, never having heard of it prior to joining. She, though she would never admit to it, admired him. How reckless, how careless, how uncalculated, yet he always managed to get the job done. In a way, she wanted to be like him, to be so careless, to be so reckless, and still manage to complete the mission. He always looked as if he was having so much fun, of course, she wanted to be like him.

She even began to pick up a few of his habits and vulgarity. Something Kisame was not all too thrilled about. The woman he had fallen for, acting just like the headache of Akatsuki? He hated the thought of it.

In his mind, her admiration was much more than friendly. In his mind, she wanted Hidan, and he wanted her back. She was much better off with him, right? Though Hidan was a complete madman, he was still something Kisame was not.

Human.

Hidan did not have the ugly fish-like features and blue-grey skin that Kisame had. He looked normal, he looked more like her. Not some monster like he did.

She could never be fully committed to him, he believed. He just waited for the day she would see him for how truly ugly and unlovable he was. Even if it was for another member of the Akatsuki.

( y/n ) hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks, listening to the man she had loved more than he could ever know. The images of the early events forever ingrained in her head.

“Now you’re crying? Crying for what?!”

“That’s enough, fish face,” Hidan growled, clenching onto the snath of his scythe, stepping forward.

Kisame cut his eyes to the silver-haired madman, “Sticking up for your girlfriend, huh? If you wanted to steal my woman―” The blue-grey man was cut off with a hard slap to the face.

“SHUT UP!” ( y/n ) cried out. Kisame held a hand to his stinging cheek, staring down at her in disbelief, seeing how truly hurt she was. It was as if he snapped out of whatever trance he found himself in.

“( y/n )...” He reached out to touch her, making her step back.

His heart dropped.

She was afraid of him.

“Don’t give me that look...don’t reach your hand out with those eyes,” She began, “This isn’t like you...”

She backed further away, right into the arms of the man who made him act this way. This wasn’t supposed to happen. No, this wasn’t right. She wasn’t supposed to...be afraid. But she was. Though she tried to mask it, he could tell. Her hands were trembling, no longer in anger but fear.

“...you’ve changed so much.”

⁺◟   BACK TO NAVIGATION . . .

[suvidrache]

PDA With The Akatsuki - Part 1

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 299 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version | Part 2

Featuring: Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, Nagato (Pain)

Deidara

Hand holding, an arm around you, maybe a couple of kisses. It doesn't bother him, but he wouldn't be as extreme as Hidan.

Hidan

An arm around you, a hand up your shirt, a hand on your ass. Would honestly do you in front of everyone, if you let him. If they don't like it, they can leave.

Kakuzu

He's counting his money. Maybe hand holding, but you can wait until later for anything else.

Kisame

Would hold hands, kiss, anything that isn't too extreme and private. As long as you're okay with it.

Nagato (Pain)

An arm around you or hand holding, occasionally. He doesn't like displaying affection but also doesn't want you to think you don't like him.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[historicfailure]

Before the date with Kisame, you're incredibly nervous. When the two of you are alone though, you're being pushed to your limits, until all the insecurity breaks free. 

~ X ~

Hey there ^^ Welcome to the next chapter of "Work under Water". I'm really happy with the progress so far, and I really hope I can keep up the posting schedule for the last two chapters as well ^^ Thank you all so much for the support, I love to see all you guys seeing yourself in this fic. It was supposed to be an incredibly self-indulgent fic, but it's wonderful the topics also resonate with so many of you.

Oh man, way too much talk. Onto the story ^^ Have fun!

~ X ~

Time was a strange thing. Even though you wished that the days would stretch into eternity, so you could avoid thinking about the upcoming meeting, they just flew by like the scattering of carefree sparrows on the sidewalk. There was barely time to worry, and like that, you found yourself by the lake on Wednesday, shortly before 2pm. 

You deeply breathed in, letting the gust of air settle in your lungs, before pushing the breath out again. It only did little to calm your frayed nerves. 

I’m looking ridiculous. 

I shouldn’t have spent so much money on this outfit.

Why did Maimi convince me to even buy it in the first place? 

On top of buying a new bikini, Maimi also forced you into all kinds of clothing stores. Spending hours and hours of underneath the terrible lighting and inside those stupid small changing cabins, of forcing yourself to not look at the size tables of the clothes and ignoring the pitiful stares of the thin women who worked at the stores and having had to put away all the clothes which didn’t fit. All of that, and even though you liked the new ensemble, it didn’t help that it was so unlike your usual style. 

Your heart fluttered inside your chest. Again, your eyes swept across the packed beach with all the playing children, the relaxing families, the happy people who were just enjoying the summer sun and warmth to the fullest. None of them seemed nervous about anything. 

But none of them had a date there, right?

You reached into the bag hanging by your side. One glance at the phone and you breathed out. A few more minutes until Kisame’s shift ended.

There’s still time to run away. So he doesn’t have to see you like this.

Poor guy. His eyes will bleed.

Nobody wants a cow like me. With a sad smile, you stroked over the fabric of your new clothes. Kisame just wants to be nice. Maimi isn’t always right. She just wants me to feel good about myself. There’s nothing—!

“Hey there. Sorry, did you wait long?” 

You swiveled around, heat already rising onto your face at his voice so unexpectedly close to you. “N-no! I didn’t, just a few minutes…”

An easy smile flashed over his face. “Great! I will be with you in a second, just need to get out of my uniform. Otherwise, the people won’t leave me alone all day. Will you wait for me?”

Indeed, Kisame was still wearing his white tank-top with the red cross boldly printed upon his wide chest, as well as the red swimming shorts. There was a thin sheen of sweat covering his entire body, but it especially accentuated his strong arms. Only barely able to form just a single coherent thought, you nodded weakly.

“Nice. Okay, I’ll be back in a second.” His smile didn’t waver as he turned again away to half-jog over to the hut for the lifeguards. He made it look so effortless, when you knew that running on earth and sand was anything but. 

Besides, from behind, you could ogle him at least a little bit before he would turn you down. Something nice to remember when you would tell Kaya about the one time the hot local lifeguard had a pity date with you. 

Your fingers clawed into the strap of your bag a bit harder. Right. Just get through the first few hours, until Kisame had enough, and then you were done with it. A deep breath in, and you turned around to look towards the lifeguard hut. Until then, you could try and enjoy the pseudo-date as much as you could. 

Suddenly, one of the windows opened. It took a few seconds to recognize Ringo, as she had lost her tightly bound hair, but she instantly recognized you. She waved, you waved back, then the woman turned over her shoulder to say something. Probably teasing Kisame somehow. Another wave from Ringo, and the window was shut with way more force than necessary.

It took a few more minutes for Kisame to emerge from the hut. A few more minutes in which you could worry and fret and overthink, but when he walked up, all of that seemed to disappear. Washed away by the sight of him.

A crisp, white, short-sleeved button-up shirt spanned across his wide chest. A few buttons were left undone, so you could catch glimpses of his skin and sometimes even his collarbones when he shifted around. His legs were also only half-covered by a simple pair of royal blue swimming shorts, showing off his muscular legs as well as another tattoo of a set of shark-teeth on his calf. Kisame raised one of his arms, scratching the back of his head with a little cocky grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“Well? Am I well-dressed enough to impress?”

Like he even had to ask that. He had to know…

“Yeah.” You felt how the heat creeped up your neck and cheeks, but tried so, so hard to not flail and stutter around. “You are definitely well-dressed.”

“Same to you,” his small grin turned bright, all happy and confident, “You look stunning.”

That was it. Your entire face must’ve turned into a tomato at this point. Unable to meet his eyes, you lowered your head, staring at your feet as you mumbled a quick “Thank you.”

Fuck. Like you could say anything to that. Like you could look him all cool and proper in the eyes, thank him properly and without sounding like you had wool in your mouth, as well as act like nothing ever happened? Even though you knew it was probably a gentle lie to make you feel better about yourself, you couldn’t help but… feel the tiniest bit happy about the compliment. 

That’s it. This one will definitely go into the collection of rare feel-good-moments I will always replay when I’m feeling seriously down. 

Like when my classmate told me I had beautiful eyes. 

When was that? Third or fourth grade?

Before you could get lost in your thoughts, Kisame spoke up again. He pointed towards the parking spots, overrun by cars, bikes and all kinds of vehicles. “If you don’t mind, I know about a peaceful spot at the lake. It’s only a five minutes drive from here. Of course, if you don’t want to get into a car with a stranger and drive to a secondary location, I totally understand that.”

“I mean,” it was hard to speak up, but you did anyway, “I think I know one of your numerous occupations as a lifeguard for sure. Then, Ringo also saw me leave with you, and my sister also knows that I’m here with you. I hope that is enough to not kill me on the spot, so I’m willing to take that risk.”

Kisame whistled. “Lots of preparations. Alright then, I have to restrain myself and not devour you on the spot.”

“A cannibal? At least it will be an original murder-case.” 

“Well, I’m not going to eat you up… on the first date, that is.”

“Aah.” You hummed under your breath as your feet hit the asphalt of the parking slot. “A cannibal with some honor. Well, who am I to deny that invitation?”

His boisterous laughter made you feel all warm and tingly all over. “Now I think I know where Kaya got his humor from.”

“Someone had to teach him how to make people laugh, right?”

Light bantering was easy enough. You were good at that, at least, and secure enough to let go of some of your defenses. Right. Maybe you could enjoy this “date” as much as you could. After all, when would you again have such fit, attractive company? Why not just let go of your inhibitions for once and enjoy life?

It was harder said than done, but you could try. 

“Alright.” Kisame stopped beside a big, fire-red truck. “That’s my car here. I know, I know,” he answered your badly concealed shock, “but I need it for hauling around the boat for the lifeguards. Plus, a small car won’t fit me, my long legs and my big attitude.”

“I noticed.” Another look at the monstrosity of a car, then you nodded. “Okay, let’s go to that mysterious secondary location. I’m ready to get murdered and eaten up.”

His face brightened in an instant. “Nice. Hop in!”

After carefully storing your belongings onto the backseat, Kisame gave you a helping hand in trying to climb into the high passenger seat. His fingers closed around yours like a promise and you were proud of yourself for not blushing like a tomato yet again. Still, Kisame’s silent chuckle as you let go of his hand all too early was enough proof for you to know that he knew what kind of effect he had on your poor mind. 

Just a few precious seconds in which you could calm yourself down, then he easily slid onto the driver's seat. “Well then,” he had the guts to wink full of cheeky confidence, “time for some fun, eh?”

“I’m definitely up for it.” And this time, you even meant it a little bit.

To hell with your insecurities. To hell with your internalized shame. To hell with all of that and more. You wanted to have some fun, and if you forgot about all of that, then you could make taking away a nice memory, which would warm you in nights you were unsure if someone would actually be able to find you attractive, a reality. 

The truck roared to life. With it, the radio also turned on, instantly blaring way too loudly inside the car. So much so, everything seemed to vibrate.

“Oh fuck.” Kisame twitched forward. His hand closed around the little knob controlling the audio level, instantly turning it down to zero. “Sorry. Had a little,” he fiddled with the knob, fingertips barely edging at the metal, “jam session this morning.”

“We all need that from time to time. What was that music?”

“Some dance remixes of the 90s and ‘00s. What can I say, I grew up with those songs. And they are great for workouts.”

“I can only imagine.” A hint of bitterness swung in your voice, but you quickly pushed away every thought of your own fat flabbing around while doing sports. “Do you like anything else? I mean, in music. Or any form of media you like.”

The small smile splayed across his face betrayed nothing of his thoughts. “Oh, already jumping to the typical date-questions, huh?”

“Is that bad?”

“Not necessarily, no. So… I’m into the mentioned ‘90s and ‘00s electronic music, but I also like some songs on the radio. I don’t really have time to watch movies or series really diligently, but sometimes, I like to indulge in some of the more popular series. Whatever is the hype at the moment, to be honest.”

“So, basically everything on Netflix?”

“Almost everything on Netflix,” Kisame chuckled, “and really, only when I have the time. Mostly, I’m out at the lake, swimming, educating myself on the latest discoveries when it comes to water rescue, boot mechanics. There’s no time in between, really.”

“So, pretty much married to your job?”

“Yeah.” He paused for a moment. “Yeah, that actually tracks. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t make time for someone special, of course. If I had a girlfriend, I would definitely cut back on some of my habits.” He threw a small glance into your direction, before concentrating on the road again. “I believe that it’s important to spend quality time with my partner.”

“That sounds great.” And you meant it, even though you knew that the “quality time” would never be spent with you. “And like you really want to dedicate yourself to the person you love. That’s a wonderful quality.”

Oddly enough, Kisame didn’t answer. One glance at him and you could spot a smug grin on his face. Though, the smile wavered, his hands on the steering wheel tightened, only to switch positions and turn the entire car left. Right into a small back road, not paved and hidden away between bushes and low-hanging branches. 

“Hang on,” Kisame lowered the speed of the truck, and still, every bump of the road shook you in your seat, “the road is a bit bumpy.”

“Really? I didn’t notice.” But you laughed as you said the sharp words, turning them into good-natured banter. “The road is basically as smooth as butter.”

“Damn, you’re mean today.” A flash of his teeth, then he concentrated on the bumpy road again. “I like it. There’s some bite to you, huh?”

“Of course.” Another big jump of the entire truck made you choke your next words. “Ah. Fuck.”

“Sorry. We’re nearly there, so hold on for a second.” Kisame shifted the stick to change gears, drove a few meters forward, only to come to a complete halt. “And the second is over. The last bit of the way, we have to walk.”

Quickly, you unbuckled your seatbelt and opened the door before Kisame could even pull the key out of the ignition. The silence of the forest was only disturbed by the faraway screams of delight as children jumped into the cool water, as well as the faint glimmer of blue water glimmering through the trees. 

“My my,” the back of the truck popped open, making you turn around to Kisame, who rummaged through the trunk, “already excited about our little swim? But I definitely understand that.”

“Didn’t you get to jump after overly eager kids and fainting aunts today?”

“More than enough, to be honest.” Kisame laughed while hauling a small cooling bag and a huge backpack out of the trunk. Shouldering both, he managed to close the trunk and locked the car. “But there’s nothing more satisfying than going for a leisurely swim after a day of hard work rescuing people. Especially on a hot day like this, and with company like this.”

You had no idea what to make of his tone when he finished his sentence. There was something lying underneath and you didn’t dare to listen all too closely. Just a small smile flashed over your face, then you turned towards the lake again. No false hopes, no make-believe. Just enjoying the present, nothing else. 

Kisame seemed to sense the shift of atmosphere, but didn’t comment on it. Instead, he shrugged his backpack even more onto his shoulder before brushing past you. The man didn’t show one bit of the weight hanging from his shoulders. For a long moment, you were allowed to appreciate the way his back muscles played beneath the flimsy white fabric of his shirt, only to be caught red-handed. 

He had quickly turned his head, a predator checking out their prey with small, handsome, dark eyes. “You coming?”

“Yeah.” With heat rising into your face, you shook your head. “Sorry.”

“For what?” Kisame took a big step into the forest and you tried to quickly follow him on the same beaten-down path towards the lake. “For looking at me like I’m the last drink before you have to enter a desert? Like I’m a good, raw steak, and you’re a dog? Like I’m—”

“Stop! Oh god, stop. I get it.” Laughter bubbled up in your lungs, easily pearling over your lips. Kisame’s chuckle mixed into your own and you couldn’t help but notice that both of your laughs intermingled, intertwined, and somehow mixed into something… pleasant. 

Lots of dangerous thoughts to your personal inner peace swirled through your head as you followed Kisame onto the overgrown, nearly invisible path. The air was hot and humid, with the promise of some rain in the night, certainly not making the waterfall of sweat pouring down your back feel any better. 

Your eyes snaked over Kisame’s wide back. His white button-down shirt was already see-through in some places, with his muscles rippling right beneath the thin fabric as temptation for your thirsty mind. Not that you hadn’t seen the naked skin already, but with the newly added layer of fabric, looking at Kisame was again worth every moment.

And you looked. You stared, appreciated, and maybe even salivated the tiniest bit. Your focus was entirely on him, so much so, you didn’t watch the path as much as you should.

You merely felt a small tug at your toes. A small tug, then your entire world jerked and stumbled forward. In a matter of split seconds, Kisame’s back rapidly crashed towards you. Or you were tumbling towards his back. It didn’t matter either way.

But before you made contact, Kisame easily turned around and caught you with his free arm. Really, like he had eyes in the back of his head. Safe and secure like a baby, you hung over his arm, still a bit flabbergasted at what just happened, while another part of you swooned at his natural ease and grace. 

He really just… caught me. Right in the air. 

He’s still holding me up! Oh god, he’s still holding me up like it’s nothing!

I really should…

“Oh god, I’m so, so sorry!” You scrambled onto your own two feet, all the while not daring to look into his eyes. The ghost of his arm tingled against your skin, right across the area of your stomach he had to touch to save you from yourself. “I didn’t mean to, I’m just… Sometimes, I just…”

“Hey, no worries there.” His teeth flashed with his little, cheeky grin. “I’m always happy to be of service.”

“Asking you to carry me again would be a bit too much, right?”

The words slipped out faster than you could even think about them. One second, they just emerged from the depths of your consciousness, the next, they already rolled off your tongue and echoed between the silence of trees. Immediately, you wished you could take them back, but no such luck—or mercy. 

Kisame heard them loud and clear. His little grin instantly turned brighter and bigger, revealing more of his teeth and more of his delight. “So, you liked being carried around, hm?”

No way to back down, so the only thing you could do was charge ahead. So, you crossed your arms over your chest, answering his cheeky grin with a defiantly joking glare. “It’s for convenience. How else would I reach that secret spot of yours without falling on my nose?”

“You could always fall on me… or for me.” He shrugged, still grinning like he truly enjoyed the conversation. “I’m not picky.” His eyebrows waggled up and down, cheeky suggestion and perhaps, even a bit of a joke to himself, too. “But I have a bit of a preference, of course.”

“Everybody does.” 

This time, you couldn’t hide the hint of bitterness in your voice. You had tried, but everyone had their limit, right? And this one was yours. Sooner than you wanted or anticipated, but you knew that you would reach it today. How could you not? With this so-called date, or more like, thinly veiled joke on your cost, it had just been a matter of time. 

Kisame’s grin withered away, and suddenly, you had trouble breathing. Fuck. That was your doing, your tone, your bitter words poisoning the easy atmosphere between the two of you. Quickly, you forced a fake smile onto your face while avoiding his inquiring eyes. “Sorry. That was… Let’s just get to your secret spot, alright?”

“(Y/N)...” He reached out, but you stepped aside. 

“No. It’s… it’s fine. Everything is fine. Let’s just forget about this.”

“Okay. If that is what you want.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, before pushing past Kisame. “It’s just straight ahead, right?”

You didn’t wait for an answer. You couldn’t. Not with the sinking feeling deep down in the pit of your stomach. It made you feel sick, with bile rising in your throat and the first tears burning in the corners of your eyes. 

I hate this. I hate feeling like this.

Like I’m just the big, dumb cow who gets played.

I wanted to enjoy this. So why can’t Kisame just stop mocking me with his flirting? 

His sweet words and easy smiles were wasted on you after all. 

You barely heard Kisame follow you through the loud heartbeat thundering in your ears. A small jitter still wandered through your body, mostly settling in your hands and fingers, but you gripped the handle of your bags tighter. It helped. Marginally.

Still fighting the faint trembling in your hands, you didn’t notice how the surrounding forest opened up. Only when the first rays of unfiltered sunlight hit your eyes and you were blinded for a short second, you awoke from your miserable self-pity. 

The first thing you saw was water. Water and the smallest of waves, making the surface glitter in the high afternoon sun, splashed upon a small strip of land. Just a hint of hard sand and dirt, only to directly lead into the water. 

Behind you, Kisame grunted as he also stepped out of the cool shadows of the trees. “Nice. Looks like nobody has been here since last time. It’s still pretty clean.”

“That’s always a relief, yeah.” With a low sigh, you let your bags drop onto the grassy ground, just a few meters away from the sand and the tempting lake. “Is that also a problem at the beach over there?” You jerked your head into the direction of the beach, which you could see from your position, a long strip of beige with some bright-red buoys bobbing up and down in the water.

Kisame chuckled as he dropped his own bags onto the grass. “You have no idea. Every few hours, we have to patrol around the beach and pick up trash. Some people have no thoughts left in their self-absorbed brains to think about the ones visiting the lake after them.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “it’s disgusting. Nobody wants to sit between empty soda cans.”

“Or used condom wrappers.” Again, Kisame’s eyebrows waggled up and down. “You have no idea how horny people get at this lake.”

“No way.” You cringed at the thought. “No… Please, now you put pictures in my head.”

“One time, I was on trash-duty and found an entire string of them. And not only normal ones, no.” He seemed to delight in the chance to gross you out, just the tiniest bit. As he kneeled down and opened one of his bags, he looked up at you, with an absolutely adorable dimple showing in his left cheek. Some strands fell into his sweaty forehead, before he wiped them away with the back of his hand. “Some were of the… kinky kind.”

“Kinky kind? How old are you? Five?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to tell you about all the strawberry-lubricant, the nobs and edges. Had the feeling you would keel over… or something.” Mischief blinked in Kisame’s eyes. “Didn’t want to scare you off.”

You snorted. “Before you can scare me off, you have to try harder.”

“Really?” But just when you thought the banter would continue, just when the man opened his mouth again to fire the next playful words back, a thought flashed through his mind. You almost saw the train of thought race behind his forehead, only for his jaw to tense up and his mouth shut close again.

Was that it? Your stomach curled up as you busied yourself with unpacking the bags you dropped onto the ground. Was that the moment? The moment in which Kisame would call the date off? Or at least, drop the pretense of taking you out because he was interested romantically?

But nothing of that sort happened. Out of the corner of your eyes, you watched the man, who did the same thing as you: unpacking the bags and bringing forth more and more items which were all meant to make the leisurely time spent at the lake as comfortable as possible: a large blanket, a small umbrella to add some shadow for the two of you to relax under, a towel, sunscreen, a small bluetooth-speaker and a sun-powered power-bank…

“You’re fully decked out, I see.” 

He shrugged. “Lots of experience.” He glanced upwards, at your own pile of a few bottles of water and the container with a small cake. “And your favorite cake, I take it?”

“Of course. Someone wanted to taste it, or so I heard,” you added after a long, long second of silence.

Kisame nodded weakly. “And I can’t wait for that. But only after a nice swim, without having to work. What do you say, hm? Care to join me?”

Honestly, you didn’t even think it would get this far. That much had been clear. Now, you were confronted with Kisame’s unwavering willingness to see you swim. 

You swallowed thickly. Fuck. This was it. Your time was up. There wasn’t really a chance to deny him anymore without having to explain yourself. And that was totally out of the question. Way too embarrassing to admit out loud that you felt so insecure about yourself. So, you had no other choice but to nod while your mind went haywire with all the possibilities.

He could laugh.

He could make a comment.

He could say nothing, just look at me with disgust.

I don’t know which one would be the worst, to be honest.

But going for a swim would be so nice. One look at the tempting blue water, and you sighed inwardly. The walk over here together with the humid weather really took its toll on you. Sweat made your clothes stick in the most uncomfortable places, to the point you wanted nothing else but to get rid of the fabric and finally cool down a bit. 

But again: taking off your clothes around Kisame? Carefully, you tried to sneak a little peek at him. Maybe he wasn’t looking. Then you could—!

No such luck. His eyes were fully on you. He even noticed the little sneak-peek, grinning as your eyes met and your head snapped back around to stare intently at the water. 

“Well,” he said behind you, spread out over the big blanket, “go on. The water is nice and cool, that much I can tell you.”

“I believe that in an instant.”

“Then why are you hesitating?”

“I need…” You searched for the right word, but nothing came to mind. “I…”

“Maybe,” Kisame interrupted, his low voice unusually gentle, “I will test the waters for you, hm? Would that make it better?”

Infinitely so. A chance to undress without his full attention on you was exactly what you needed. So, you nodded, while the tips of your fingers were still digging into the flesh of your own palm. 

Kisame didn’t look annoyed or frustrated, just pushed himself off the ground. “Alright. But promise me one thing.”

“What?” you asked after several seconds of heavy silence. “What should I promise you?”

His smile was infectious. “That you will definitely join me in the water.” With that, he reached for the buttons of his shirt and started to unbutton the fabric. One after another, and with each and every button, the white fabric fell more and more open. Your eyes were stuck to the revealed skin, the rippling muscles and the casual way of teasing you with each movement. Was this intentional? You had no idea.

No matter what, Kisame continued to undress with the casualness of someone who was used to the process. As he stripped the shirt off his shoulders, he made the effort to fold the white, sweaty fabric properly, before placing it with a gentle pat onto the blanket. Then, not without a little, cheeky wink, he let the muscles of his chest twitch. Right there, right in front of your eyes and without any shame. 

“Like what you see?” he asked, still without any shame. Again, as it was kind of his signature-pose, he propped his hands into the sharp “V” of his hips. “For more though, you have to join me in the water. Don’t leave me hanging.” 

And before you knew it, the man was gone. Just a big splash as well as boyish, excited laughter which echoed in the air, as Kisame immediately jumped into the water without any regrets. 

You turned fully towards the water. Your eyes followed Kisame, how he dived and swam and moved through the lake like he was born to do so. Meanwhile, your mind still struggled to command your body. Only slowly, your fingers curled around the edges of your clothing, ever so slowly pulling at the fabric. Every fiber of your being protested, howled, screamed at you to not do it, to just grab your stuff and run far, far away and never return to the lake. 

Calm down, you chastisted yourself, calm down for once, alright? 

No need to be so melodramatic. 

Yeah, just moving away would be sufficient.

Nevertheless, your body continued. Your hands moved, revealing more and more of your body until the dreaded moment came. The moment when your clothes dropped to the ground and you were left standing in your bathing suit. It was definitely freeing, but the anxiety about Kisame possibly seeing you was too much to bear to revel in the loss of your sweaty, sticky clothing. You hurried towards the water, not caring that you nearly stumbled again or that you stubbed your toe against some pesky stone in your way. 

The water was lukewarm as you placed your first foot in the shallow waters. The first few steps were easily done, only for you to realize that the water was only warm at the surface. The shore quickly fell off, thankfully, leading your entire body underneath the water and covering every unflattering part of you quickly. After a few more steps, you lost the ground beneath your feet and you started to swim. Calm, collected motions, cutting through the water easily. Just swim. Your muscles moved and your mind drifted off. 

I once loved swimming.

Yeah. Loved.

Until the popular girls at school made fun of me for being fat. Good old school-bullies.

You shoved the painful memories of the sneering, thin girls aside. The more pressing issue was: where was Kisame? Because you sure as hell didn’t spot him anywhere near you or anywhere you looked while paddling away with both of your arms and legs. But he was close, had to be. Even though you couldn’t see him anywhere near you. It was like a distinctive presence in the water, looming beneath the surface. You hadn’t seen him dive beneath the water, but that was the only possibility left. Also, you swam in his direction, so—!

“There you are.”

His voice was way too close. You yelped and flinched away from Kisame’s voice, only to slowly turn yourself around. Fuck, your heart jumped right into your throat there. 

Kisame didn’t look one bit apologetic. On the contrary: the same cheeky grin you already knew so well tugged at the corners of his mouth, like he had to suppress a full, throaty laughter. Then, like a sea monster in the old movies, his body rose over the water level. None of you could stand here out in the water, but Kisame still easily held himself upright and calmly, while you had to work a bit harder. His face was way closer than usual, stealing your breath away for entirely different reasons than the scare.

Still paddling, you glared at him. “Not funny.”

He cocked his head to the side, grinning and with a spark of mischief twinkling in his eyes. “Eh, kind of. Your little yelp was very cute.”

“It wasn’t.”

“It totally was.” His eyes twinkled even more at your denial. “Because you’re cute.”

If your stomach could turn into sour milk, it would have. Everything inside of you turned sour, curdled up, and just straight up wanting to vanish. Because you knew, you just fucking knew Kisame was lying to you.

“Don’t say that,” you mumbled as you softly floated backwards, away from the man and his lies, “just… don’t say that again. Please.”

“What?” He shrugged. “You are cute. I can’t do anything about that, so I just point it out.”

“It’s just…” A few more meters of distance between the two of you and you tried not to show how hurt you were. Just by being lied to. “It’s just that that is not… It’s not true.”

Kisame paused. “What?”

“I’m not cute. I’m not pretty. I know that, okay? For a fact.” You raised one arm above the water, showing off the fat and let it drop again, where it was covered by the water with a big splash. “I’m fat. No one ever told me I was cute, because that’s simply not the truth. And no one ever did go on a true date with me, because of the same reasons. It was always just a pity-date, or to get with one of my friends, or anything but another person being interested in me. By lying to me, you’re just making everything worse in the long run, so just say straight up what you want to achieve by doing this,” you gestured around, the water splashing and sloshing with every of your motions, “and then we can be done with it.”

The words spilled faster over your tongue and lips than you could control them. All the frustration, nervousness and bad premonitions over this “date” finally erupted, as you paddled there and stared up to Kisame, who loomed over you, casting a long shadow over the water.

He listened to your rambling without a word. The cheeky grin on his face faded away, getting replaced by a slightly confused and even hurt look in his eyes. A small wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows, growing deeper and bigger the longer you went on. At the end of your tirade, Kisame almost looked downright offended.

But that couldn’t be, right? 

“So,” you sputtered, “I would really appreciate it if you could just stop leading me on and say what you are planning, so I can go back to my life with cakes and cookies and all of my fat, while dreaming about the day an absolutely gorgeous lifeguard asked me out, pretending he’s interested in me.”

Only the gentle murmur of the waves as well as the faraway laughter of children echoed in the deafening silence between the two of you. Looking up, you could read nothing on his face. None of his earlier cheeky chagrin. None of the frustration born from your words, not even a hint of any emotion visible. Just a stony face, with small, cold eyes looking you up and down. It felt like he could even look beneath the water surface, to parts of your body you didn’t want him to look at.

When he opened his mouth, the entire world seemed to pause, just for a few seconds. “Why do you think I am pretending?”

“Because…” You gestured towards him; all of him in all of his glory. “You are… you. And I am me. You, the attractive lifeguard, fit and kind and good with children versus me, the sugar-loving cow who does nothing but eat and is so insecure she can’t even find a single good thing about herself.”

“And?”

“And it’s just impossible that you want me when you could have any women or men under the sun!”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” You glared up to him as the acid in your stomach slowly crawled up into your throat. “So just spit it out! I’m a big girl as you can see without a doubt, so I can take it. And fuck, I get it, I wouldn’t date myself either! Who would seriously want me when I look like this?”

“But,” he sighed weakly, “I would date you.”

“What?” That took all the wind out of your sails. Did he just… “What did you…?”

“I think it’s a mistake to think no one wants to date you. I want to.”

“Why?” Like a stubborn donkey, you dug your heels in—metaphorically speaking, as you were still swimming. “No one ever showed interest in me, so I’m pretty sure of my assumption.”

“But I do. I want to date you,” he repeated for the third time, as calm and reassuring as one could be, and with the patience of a hunting predator.

“Why?”

Again, Kisame sighed, this time a lot heavier. “Because I’m into you.”

Your mind went blank for a moment. To think that he was still lying, right into your face… Your eyes narrowed. “You’re not serious.”

“I am.” 

“Why?”

“Because I think you’re hot as hell, have a sharp wit—if it’s not diminished by crippling self-doubts—and bake like a goddess.” He shrugged, the water rippling around his body. “Is that enough? I can make a longer list, if you want.”

The flames of your anger and frustration should burn brighter than the summer sun hanging above your head, but instead, you felt how your entire body warmed up. Somehow, your mind wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe, desperately so, that Kisame saw something in you that many others didn’t. That he was romantically attracted to you and not disgusted. That he was actually serious and somehow, that thought alone scared you to death. 

Because it meant that your attraction to him already went far deeper than you initially planned.

Instead of denying everything and anything, instead of showing some of that praised wit, instead of just simply swimming away and leaving Kisame in the dust, you stayed there, looked up into his face and felt like melting against him. “You think that?”

“I do,” he answered simply, “and, as we’re being honest here, all the guys who said “pass” when it comes to you have no clue what was in front of them.”

“But…” 

“No.” He cut you off, his voice soft and gentle. Just like the hand which rose from the water, its fingers followed the contour of your shoulder. From the biceps up to the curve, then dipping an inch lower to your collarbone. Before, when he caught you from stumbling over that damned root, the touch was almost accidental and casual. Now, the touch was deliberate, full of tension and definitive purpose. The purpose of touching you, experiencing the feel of your skin and seeing your reaction to his touch. 

You first flinched at the sensation on your skin, caught off guard and confused, before looking up and holding his gaze. You didn’t want to back down, wanting to prove your thoughts right—as weakly as that argument was holding in your mind. The trail of his finger slid higher again, up to your neck and jaw. There, Kisame stopped, with his index finger right beneath your chin and his thumb drawing tiny circles onto you. His touch burned your skin, leaving thousands of tingles and an instant craving for more in its wake. He gently forced you to continue looking at him, and without a chance or will to escape, you did. 

“No,” he repeated, “they had no clue. Because if they saw what I see, then they would have snatched you up the moment you stepped into their lives. Fuck, just look at you.”

His thumb stopped for the blink of an eye, only to pick up the soothing back-and-forth motion against your jaw. Out of instinct, you leaned into his hand.

It felt good. Great, even. Great enough to become addicted really quickly. But you weren’t strong enough to pull away, and Kisame didn’t let go as he continued to talk to you in the same calm, gentle tone he used before.

“I want you. And if I can erase your self-doubts along the way, fine. But don’t push me away before you even have the chance to get to know me, and before I have the chance to get to know you more.” His thumb stopped and just for a second, swiped over your bottom lip. You gasped again. Your mouth opened and like the wing of a butterfly, his thumb ran across the sensitive flesh again. Just the hint of a touch, without any real pressure behind it, and yet making your heart beat like you ran five flights of steps. 

Without realizing it, you nodded. Didn’t matter that he didn’t ask a question. The resounding belief that he truly meant it vibrated through your chest with a need to break free. 

Kisame’s smile grew. “I take that as some compliance on your part. My proposition to you, with absolutely no pressure: we continue this date, have a nice afternoon, then we can go to the next restaurant, sit down, talk and get to know each other. Tomorrow, you can think about it and if you want to continue, then I’m more than happy to.”

Not able to speak up, you nodded once more. 

His eyes closed with his smile; the biggest smile you had seen so far, with teeth and all. “Great. Now, I don’t know about you, but I will go for another round of swimming. You can join me if you want.”

“I…” Your voice was raspy and thick, so you coughed and tried again. “I would like that.”

Another swipe of his thumb over your bottom lip, now heavy, deliberate and pregnant with meaning. A meaning you hoped to finally have deciphered, now that Kisame told you his truth. Only then, he stepped backwards, leaving you fully exposed to the sun and the sight of his upper chest glistening beneath the sunlight.

As you followed him into the deep water of the lake, your insecurities still screamed at you. That he was probably still lying, that nothing he said could be possibly true, that you should leave and never see him again. A much bigger part of you, emboldened by his words and his tender touch, was intoxicated to the point of being able to ignore your self-doubts without a second thought.

[theuncommoncorner]

Kisame Fight Club

“Fight Club”

(Kisame x S/O)

Requested by a few people

Word Count 2,259

“I’m not mad at you for being in your fight club, I’m upset because you didn’t tell me you were in it!”

“Ok, that’s understandable. But I just,” Kisame paused and turned his head to the side, “I just figured you’d want me to quit.” Kisame attempted to avoid them by turning his body away, but [Y/N] grabs his hands and sits down at the kitchen table.

“Kisame, I would never tell you to quit. It’s obvious this is something you’re passionate about. I am not going to stop you from pursuing something you’re passionate about—that’s just idiotic! I’m supposed to support you as your friend and partner. Don’t ever forget that.”

He sits down as well, clears his throat, and with a faint smirk replies, “What if it’s illegal?” It’s obvious he’s trying to dampen the mood a bit but they seriously consider this. Cocking their head to the left just a hare and sticking their tongue in their right cheek—a quirk he’s noticed over the years.  

“It… depends.”

“Depends? Elaborate.”

“Hmmm,” they bite their index finger while thinking, “murder—obviously, drugs, off-shore bank accounts, robbing people and places, shoplifting uh…”

Kisame lifted his eyebrows a smidge, “So you will support me doing that?”

They straighten their back, “What? No! Why would you say that?” Their eyes locking on his

“You didn’t specify,” he says with a cocky smile.

They sigh dragging both hands down their face, “Come on man you know what I meant.”

“Anyway,” he shifts in the mahogany chair, “you’re not mad?”

“No, I’m not mad. But I am upset that you didn’t tell me. Kisame you can’t keep secrets like this from me. I understand why you would, but…”

He puts his left-hand palm-to-palm with their right hand. The two of them exchange a soft smile before looking at their hands. A barely audible ‘I’m sorry’ is heard from Kisame’s side of the table in their kitchen. His partner intertwines their fingers showing they accept his apology.

Kisame exhales out of his nostrils staring at their hands and the gold band on his ring finger. He really did hate disappointing and upsetting his partner.

The next day during dinner Kisame and his partner talk about their day. Uneventful on both ends. Nothing special and nothing new. As the conversation ended he wondered if they would talk about it. The answer was yes.

“Kisame.” [Y/N] said softly.

He looked up from his plate of food, “yes?”

They looked to the side bashfully, “Would you be opposed of me joining you?”

He looked at them thoughtfully, weighing the pros and cons of their request.

“Not…particularly.” He wondered how everyone at the meeting place would react. Sure, the others had brought their significant others but this was different. Everyone knew about [Y/N}, and he only talked about them. The other members would playfully tease him about [Y/N] paying a visit. Even The Boss would join in if she wasn’t too busy coaching someone. He knew under their teasing ways they truly were curious about his s/o. If someone was married or dating the members made it a point to ask them to share, if the person in question was willing. It was one of the few things everyone in the group talked about. They knew Kisame was willing and that he simply hadn’t told [Y/N] about his late-night training and competitions. Welp, now they know and now they want to join him.

He looked up meeting [Y/N]’s excited gaze. He could tell from the glint in their eyes they really want to go with him. All he had to do was give them a definitive ‘yes.’ He ponders the idea a little longer.

“Alright.”

In one swift movement [Y/N] moved both of their plates, launched their body across the kitchen table, and engulfed Kisame in a bone-crushing hug, “Thank you!”

Kisame wrapped an arm around their waist and used the other to prevent them from tumbling backward. He chuckled, “Excited, huh?”

[Y/N] leaned back slightly, still holding onto his shoulders, “Of course I’m excited! It’s not every day you learn that your husband is a part of some badass fight club!” They pump their fist in the air as a way to emphasize what they just exclaimed. Kisame moved his chair back and guided them into his lap.

“There are of course a couple conditions.”

“As expected,” they shifted into a more comfortable position while lightly resting their forearms on his shoulders.

“I’ll need to let everyone know you’ll be coming with me the next time I go in. Also, I’ll need to double check with The Boss that it’s alright for you to tag along.”

“The Boss?”

“Yeah, our head honcho and coach. She’s—”

“A woman?” They looked at him quizzically.

“Yes, a woman. However, she’s built like a tank and honestly, she scares me and everyone else a bit.”

[Y/N]’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, “You’re scared of someone?”

“Shocking. I know,” Kisame huffed, “you’ll understand once you meet her. Hopefully, her two sons will pay a visit when I bring you. They tend to take the scary aura off of her.”

“I guess I should prepare myself. Anything else?”

“A few things but they can wait. Let’s finish eating and clean up in here. I do have to go in tonight. The sooner I talk to everyone and get the OK the sooner you can come with me.”

[Y/N] removed themselves from Kisame’s lap and proceeded to shovel the rest of their food in their mouth. Through a mouthful of food, Kisame could make out, “hurry up and finish so you can go!”

He chuckled and finished his meal then went to their bedroom to get dressed. The night you would join him was going to be interesting.

========================================================

Kisame shifted in his seat, twisting one hand on the steering wheel and the other lightly gripping the gear shift. He was nervous and detested the fact he let his nerves get to him. They weren’t strong but they were there. Nagging him throughout the entire ride.

“Kisame!”

He blinked, bringing himself back into the present, and glanced at his s/o in the passenger seat. “What?”

“Goodness man I’ve been saying your name for five minutes!”

He turned his head to signal they have his full attention before returning his eyes to the road, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong other than the fact you’ve been in your own brain a good chunk of this car ride. Anyway, you have nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine.” [Y/N] put their hand on his own placed atop the gear shift. Their hands moving as he switched gears to slow down off the exit ramp of the highway.  

Four turns to their destination.

“You say that now,” he puffed air out of his mouth, “wait until you get bombarded with questions from everyone.”

They patted his hand twice, “you know I can handle myself.”

“I know you can handle yourself, I’m hoping they know how to handle themselves.”

Red light.

“They are all grown adults they know how to be polite.”  

[Y/N] looks at Kisame as the light turns green and he shifts the vehicle forward and turns it left leaving two turns until they arrive.

“Minus the Vargas Brothers,” he mumbles.

“Oh, pish posh,” they wave their hand in a dismissive manner towards him. Kisame gives [Y/N] a look as he turns right. Hoping nothing absolutely ludicrous happens just because he said ‘Alright’ a few nights ago.

Three ‘STOP’ signs, one left turn, and two blocks later they arrive. The building is brick with white paint chipped off in some areas. It’s nestled between two other buildings. One a house with a short 3ft/91.4cm chain linked fence. The other an open convenience store.

They unbuckled their seatbelts and Kisame took a deep breath before grabbing his duffle bag from the backseat. [Y/N] checked their phone for the time, 9:40pm. Kisame told [Y/N] that he normally arrives at 10:10pm to warm up before his rounds started but since they were with him he needed some more time to be there when they met everyone. [Y/N] placed a reassuring hand on his arm as he led them inside.

It smelled. Not horribly, but it did smell. A mixture of sweat, human funk, and air freshener. Specifically, clean linen and lavender. They wondered who decided that.

“Tiff.”

“What?”

“Tiff. He’s the one that chooses the air freshener,” he looked at their bewildered expression before explaining, “you said that out loud.”

They looked away in embarrassment as they continued walking down the hallway. It was well lit with grey marble tiled floors. The walls lined with different Bruce Lee cloth posters. [Y/N] recognized some of the posters. They watched The Big Boss and Fist of Fury with Kisame during a couple of their date nights. The former being [Y/N]’s personal favorite.

A white door is at the end of the hallway with a passcode lock. As Kisame types the code [Y/N} turns their head away—just in case. He opens the door and [Y/N] looks around the large room. Shuffling and what sounds like a large ‘thud’ can be heard from upstairs. [Y/N] assumes it’s someone landing on the floor. Loud whooping and cheering can also be heard from the open staircase on the left towards the back wall. Two large benches are in the middle of the room and equipment is neatly organized on racks and shelves at the back of the room. On the right side is a regular wooden door marked ‘MEN’S LOCKERS’ in red. The door directly across from it is marked similarly except it had ‘WOMEN’S LOCKERS’ on it and the words were in blue. There was another door next to the women’s lockers—an office maybe? As they walked further into the room [Y/N] could see a metal desk with a three-tiered tray organizer and an assortment of office supplies and papers—definitely an office.

A door shuts from within the office and footsteps are heard coming to the main room. The Boss walks in, paper in hand, and doesn’t even look up from the sheet while saying, “You’re here earlier than usual Kisame. I put you down for training downstairs today. I want you working on the shield with Thane and on the battle rope. Make sure you get some laps in sometime this week too. I don’t want you fighting today because as you can hear from the bumping upstairs the Vargas boys are double teaming against Jon and his sister Andie.”

“I don’t even wanna know why they thought that was a good idea,” Kisame chimed in.

“I think they are trying to ‘get even’ since the brothers lost their last match against them.” The Boss looked up from her sheet of paper and noticed [Y/N] standing next to him, “Oh! Kisame why didn’t you tell me she was standing there the whole time?!”

Kisame’s partner understood what he meant when he told them that the members were slightly scared of her. The dangerous aura surrounding the woman reminded them of their own mother’s rage when their father did something really stupid. That feeling went away as soon as she started to address [Y/N].

“It’s nice to meet you [Y/N]! I’m The Boss, as I’m sure Kisame has told you, but you can call me Sawyer,” she holds out her right hand.

“It’s nice to meet you as well Sawyer!” [Y/N] smiles and exchanges a firm handshake with her. Kisame smiles to himself behind them—so far so good.

“Welcome to the family. We’ve heard quite a lot about you, all good things of course. I hope to see you more often,” a large bang was heard from upstairs along with yelling, “If you’ll excuse me I should make sure no one is seriously injured.” Sawyer excused herself and quickly made her way upstairs to see the damage. The bang of a body slamming into a door was heard and all sound coming from upstairs ceased. It closed before mumbled yelling could be heard from Sawyer.

Kisame chuckled and said, “She’s not one for long conversations anyway. It’s somewhat painful to hold a conversation with her since she doesn’t talk unless it’s necessary.”

[Y/N] hummed and thought it was an odd trait to have considering she ran such a facility. They guessed she relied more on showing others what to do than saying what it was she wanted people to do.

“Well,” his partner turned towards him as he spoke, “I better get changed. The faster I do the sooner we can rip off this imaginary band-aid and you can meet everyone else that’s here. You can either sit out here or go to the women’s locker room, it’s your choice. You don’t have to worry too much about anyone else here since their all busy plus the only women here are you, The Boss, and Andie. I’ll be back.” He turned around and started walking to the men’s lockers. He opened the door slightly and paused before saying, “I know I don’t need to say this but don’t touch anything. I know how sometimes trouble seems to find you at the most inconvenient times.”

“Sure thing,” they gave him a thumbs up before making their way to the women’s lockers to use the restroom.

Tonight was going to be something else.