#hovver

[deities-anew]

H.ey get off o.f him ,,

[Adam stumbles over. It kicks at the thing attacking sun.]

[It snarls, crunching his arm between its teeth as it turns its attention to him]

[everygame]

Hovver Bovver (Llamasoft: The Jeff Minter Story)

This post is for subscribers only! You can subscribe for just $1 a month at https://ko-fi.com/mathewkumar, but if you don’t fancy that, you can read or re-read my review of the release as a whole. And don’t forget there’s years of articles in our archive.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob talked the front desk of this fancy hotel into letting him up to his (not Dream) boyfriend's hotel room. It's their anniversary and Hob wants to surprise his man -- he's got his fancy lingerie on under a trench coat, champagne and a happy willingness to get less than vanilla.

He was not expecting all the ways the night would go wrong (then right, better than wrong, so right.)

First, he gets let into the wrong room! Oh god! Hob was so embarrassed. At least the man in the room was so sweet. Dream didn't make Hob feel stupid (and was actually very complementary *blushes in Hob*). 😳 And helped Hob get to his boyfriend's room,,, a few doors down.

The worst was when he finally made it to his boyfriend's room, he caught his boyfriend cheating on him. Hob was devastated.

Dream was ruefully heading back to his room (of course the most sexy beautiful man Dream's ever met has a boyfriend and is romantic about it.) Dream was still wiping the drool off from seeing Hob all dolled up under that coat. What Dream was not expecting was Hob to come rushing back out crying a few minutes after the door closed.

All Dream could do was comfort him.

Ommmmggggg. Hob knocking on what he thinks is the right door, doing a sexy pose, and getting confronted with the WRONG MAN. Amazing. He's so embarrassed! But Dream is so nice! He just says "pretend that was a rehearsal" and "your boyfriend is a very lucky man". Hob actually feels worried about the whole thing! He's hoping that this will be the fire to reignite his relationship.

But no. His shitty boyfriend was otherwise engaged. And he even had the gall to say that Hob was embarrassing! Hob wants to die as he stumbles back down the corridor.

But there's Dream, hovvering at his open door. Looking concerned. Hob practically falls into his hotel room, sniffling and muttering about how everything is terrible and there's no point in living. Dream wraps him in a fluffy hotel robe, opens up the champagne, and informs him that "men ain't shit." This finally startles a laugh from Hob, and he leans into Dream’s arms gratefully.

They end up in bed with the empty champagne bottle, just making out and lightly groping each other. Dream talks about how pretty Hob is in his lingerie, and they finally fall asleep all snuggled up together.

And in the morning? Well, Hob would very much like to thank Dream for being such a sweetheart. He gets thoroughly fucked and definitely gets his praise kink unlocked when Dream tells him that he's such a good boy. Hob moans and squeals so loud, his ex boyfriend probably hears him. But Hob’s not even thinking about that. He's just thinking that he wants Dream’s cock inside him every day for the rest of time.

He leaves the hotel room with Dream's arm looped around his waist. He's wearing some of Dream’s (slightly ill fitting clothes) and his panties are in Dream’s coat pocket. And he's finally going to be treated with the love and adoration he deserves.

[c0tards--s0luti0n]

HOW DO YOU DO SUPER BOOPS WHA

on desktop you hovver ovver the button (on someones blog) until it does a little gay spin and then you hit it :3

[holey-punch]

hovvering… reading fanfics of homestuck…

(Song I wwas listening to wwhile drawin: Nice Boys (by: Temporex))

(Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/6uuBSo3wXnosEWVXRzZDTf?si=tPaXLqoiRmq7OahRJVZkDg )

[amalgamgooze]

documendocucumen tatiatatotation

The lights dim again. A spotlight shines down on the stand in the center of the stage as the parrots flutter back on, swapping out the placard again.

Yours Truly has returned tonight with another fantabulous expression of the True, Authentic Human Condition Only Exacerbated in a Post-Postmodern society. Please, take your seats, silence your phones, and enjoy the show.

And the curtains open again...

=====================================

Cleanin' up shop over here!

The Myracle Algorythym needs to be prepared for the Next Bearyr of the Cyrse!

And so I present...

Documendocucumen Tatiatatotation!

...

Every methyd of the Myracle Algorythym?

It's got Documendocucumen Tatiatatotation on how to use it!

In fact, using the enchanting scrolls of Vyzual Stuudyo Code, with thyne Mouse Pynnter, if ye hovver overst the methyd, well...

The Documendocucumen Tatiatatotation pops up!

Riveting!

Now any layman with more than two braincells (a high threshold, I know--but remember too that I have just three) will be able to Ensorcell Wyth Thyne Myracle Algorythym!

=================================

Oh, lost child, why do you love the letter y ever so?

Why do you rhyme y with why? Don't you think it's time to learn why?

Why? Why? Why? Why?

...

(it continues chanting "why" for fifty-three more lines)

========================================

Yes. Thyne Braincelle. Verily the Very thing the Very Talented Judgges of Thyne Braincelle Laboratorium Very Much So Have Vyciously Dedycated Thyre Very Lyves To!

Yes. Indeed--indubitably, those Braincelles.

...

In all my time in the lab, I'm not sure I've ever seen a "brain cell".

...

I've been looking at brains under photon microscopes for all eternity (two summers) and I still couldn't tell you what a brain cell looks like.

...

Do they exist? Am I just being stupid?

Part of me really, really doesn't want to look it up.

Just to spite the world.

You know. Spit in its face.

Tell the world that I really could not care less whether brain cells actually exist or not.

...

Yes.

I'll force myself to 'discover this naturally'.

Which means someone is going to have to tell me that brain cells do or do not exist.

...

"This is just like that Allegory of the Cave!"

...

====================================

The crazed actor sputters out "Documendocucumen Tatiatatotation" one last time before collapsing.

The curtains close again, brushing over the actor's now-lifeless body.

The parrots return, disregarding the corpse.

A new card is displayed.

Thank you for enjoying the absurd, absolutely whatever experiences we continue to provide. Up next, the Parrot King... maybe. Who knows--in such a terribly deterministic universe, isn't it frustrating how little is actually certain?

"And I could've sworn I heard the damn birds laughing too!"

[rustentidsmaskin]

Januar 1984: Attack of the Mutant Camels (Llamasoft)

I likhet med mange av spillene til Jeff Minter AKA Llamasoft (Sheep in Space, Hovver Bovver...), hadde dette spillet en høy WTF-faktor da det manifesterte i kjellerstuene våre via piratkopierte Turbo Tape-kassetter.

En karavane med gigantiske, ildkule-spyttende kameler som du og det sinnssykt blinkende romskipet ditt må skyte før de er ferdige med å marsjere taktfast fra venstre til høyre gjennom et minimalistisk landskap? Det slo oss som originalt, surrealistisk og bittelitt genialt.

Det er derfor litt skuffende å oppdage i ettertid at Attack of the Mutant Camels er bortimot en blåkopi av et Atari 2600-spill som het The Empire Strikes Back, bare med AT-ATene byttet ut med kameler.

Uansett: Attack of the Mutant Camels er et skytespill hvor mye av appellen ligger i at det er akkurat litt for frenetisk, og hvor man hele tiden balanserer på en knivsegg mellom kontroll og kollisjon. Jeff Minter var en ekspert på denne typen blodstrengt men finkalibrert gameplay, og skytespillene hans er blant 80-tallets absolutt aller fineste.

Utfordringene i spillet består av å skyte seks mutantkameler før de når fram til basen sin (dvs. høyre side av skjermen.) Denne oppgaven kompliseres av at kamelene har tjukke skall som må skytes hundrevis av ganger før du trenger gjennom, og av at de samme kamelene tar seg tid til å spytte (innimellom varmesøkende) ildkuler mot deg mens de marsjerer.

Romskipet til spilleren har et Defender-aktig momentum som trekker videre etter at man slipper joystick-bevegelsen, noe som bidrar til den supre følelsen av å NESTEN ha kontroll. Heldigvis er det mulig å slå av "kollisjon med kameler" på startskjermen, noe som gjør håndteringen mye mer tilgivende.

Grafikken var enkel selv da dette spillet kom ut, og minnet nesten mer om noe fra en Vic-20 (C64s forløper). Lydsporet er begrenset til noen illevarslende kameltramp.

I en fin og litt rørende detalj, løfter mutantkamelene hodet i et lydløst skrik mot et kaldt og ufølende univers når de er døende. Det er nesten så man får litt dårlig samvittighet, men menneskehetens framtid står på spill her, god dammit!

Hvis du rekker å skyte alle kamelene i tide, må du overleve et horisontalt scrollende hinderløp gjennom hyperspace før du slipper til på (forutsigbart nok) en ny karavane med kameler som marsjerer litt raskere og spytter litt flere og litt hissigere ildkuler

Jeff Minter hadde ikke troa på å fyre for kråkene, og Attack of the Mutant Camels eskalerer raskt. Allerede på tredje kamelbølge er det (ihvertfall for meg) tung tidsnød på å rekke å skyte alle kamelene før det er for sent.

Dette kan ikke sies å være en tidløs skytespill-klassiker på linje med f.eks. tidligere nevnte Blue Max, men det er god, sunn, frenetisk moro - og akkurat passe loco. Fortsatt artig, 41 år senere.

Commodore User, Januar 1984: "Excellent for camel/llama freaks and arcade action enthusiasts." 5/5

[forgetmenotsystem]

so fun fact btw therw are some ads on pinterest and stuff whrre if you accidentally hovver your moucw on them they start fucking. FLASHING and it is MEAN

[giodb]

#liminalscope #constellations #METZ #outofreach #scifi #HOVVER #katherinebrice #chrislunney #art #visualart #shadow #silhouette #light #lightporn (presso Metz, France) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzvOYIhH0RB/?igshid=1ddr9pa4kml2u

[lenle-g]

I literally can’t believe this ridiculousness

[accidentalajumma]

It was very windy up at the top of my walk today. I had just climbed a staircase and was holding on to my hat when I looked back to see what I thought was a flying insect hovvering in the wind. But it was a poor spider that had been blown off the staircase railing and was being buffeted about at the end of a silk thread while it tried to pull itself back to its perch. I was glad it was eventually successful because I had to go back down that staircase and it was right in the way. But by the time I went back down, it was crouched clinging on to the railing for dear life.

[deities-anew]

hi Hovver

[he chuffs]

[we-are-colleagues]

i literally felt like a cracked up 50s housewife hovvering my brain for the 8 weeks s3 was airing

[gabessquishytum]

Our favorite wet cat divorced Dad needs a roommate to keep his house. The person would have to be okay with ravens and art binges and Orpheus's occasional visits.

He interviews a bunch of people, but the only one he can tolerate even a little is Hob Gadling. Hob is a student, but has a part time job that he could work from his room - Dream thinks it's some kind of internet video gig. Well, Dream works out of his studio in the house, so Hob's job should be fine.

Hob has an onlyfans as his side hustle, and he can do it easliy in his new room and his DILF roommate totally gives Hob fodder for his fantasies (and monetized content). And it's easy enough for him to not shoot content for his channel when his roommate's son is visiting.

Shenanigans!!! Roommate Shenanigans!!!! With DILF dad!Dream and totally into it (but a sex worker with feelings and dreams)!Hob.

Anon, this is incredible. Useless dilf Dream. Onlyfans Hob. All of my favourite things!!!

Just imagine when Orpheus comes to visit his dad for the first time after Hob moves in. Hob answers the front door and Orpheus turns bright pink - he knows Hob. Hob is the star of his incognito tab teen fantasies. How can sexy, confident, hot Hob be his lame dad's new roommate?? Wait - are they boyfriends?!

Dream immediately gains a million points in Orpheus's estimation for somehow bagging such a cool hot boyfriend. And Hob is so hospitable to Orpheus! He's the one who makes dinner, talks about music and chill stuff while Dream hovvers awkwardly on the sidelines. By the end of the evening Orpheus is fully convinced, and congratulates his father on picking such a great "roommate" - He says that part in air quotes. Dream is just like "Thank you???" (Confused, but glad his son approves).

Meanwhile Hob is having detailed fantasies about how one day he might actually get to be Dream’s lil domestic house husband. He's so totally whipped for the sad dad, its a bit pathetic. He even starts talking about Dream on stream (Orpheus is forced to unsubscribe at this point. Its just... gross for him now). About how sexy he is, how Hob just wants to bounce on his cock all day and kiss the silver in his hair... of course all his horny (older) viewers love this new content and Hob gains popularity as a "dilf lover".

How does Dream find out about all this? Well, even sad dads have needs. And Dream has sworn off jerking it to the thought of his beautiful, sexy roommate. So he goes to the next best thing: porn. Specifically porn with younger men thirsting over older men. He's... deep in his fantasy, okay?

Guess who pops up at the top of his search list?

Dream watches approximately 30 seconds of the video before pouncing through Hob’s bedroom door and kissing him senseless. He pulls back, mildly embarrassed, only for Hob to growl and climb into his lap to kiss him again. He's finally got Dream; he won't be letting go.

Next time Orpheus comes over, Dream properly introduces Hob as his boyfriend. They're sooooo into each other it's actually embarrassing - Dream won't shut up about how great Hob is doing in his studies, and Hob won't stop looking at him with gooey eyes. It's kinda cute, mostly gross.

And Orpheus will forever have to live... knowing that he's seen his future stepdad very, very naked. Yikes.

[c0tards--s0luti0n]

HOW DO I SUOER BOOP U

on desktop you hovver ovver the button (on the actual blog not the dash wwith the wword .yk wwhat im sayin) until it does a little gay spin and hten you press it :3

[thearchiveshop]

Marc Jacobs -Hoover lace