#how did some of you all survive seeing this in person

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Happy holidays! By any chance, could I ask for a HC where MC gets into an accidental baby acquisition trope and has to babysit with Azul, Sebek, Malleus, and Riddle?

Azul Ashengrotto:

Azul is about to write a ransom note if this person expects to get their baby back. He’s drawing up the terms of the contract as you’re coddling the baby, knowing there wasn’t a point in trying to talk him out of it as he was already infuriated that he’d had this responsibility dumped on him randomly. He doesn’t get how you can just accept this injustice and you rolled your eyes at him, telling him most people didn’t spend an hour negotiating a deal before performing a task. He still doesn’t want much to do with the baby but unfortunately for him the baby is endlessly fascinated with him; they constantly reach out to grab at his glasses or his hair, and he’s quickly scribbling additions onto the bill in regards to smudges and emotional distress.

He does eventually hold them when you have to retrieve something (the other alternative being they took off into the lounge if he just left them on the ground which he knew would piss you off, and he especially didn’t feel like dealing with that) but he claimed he didn’t enjoy the time. The baby continued to poke and prod at him, with Azul returning the gesture and poking at the baby’s cheeks which only sent them into a fit of giggles. It almost got a smile out of him but he couldn’t take the hit to his pride, huffing and hastily handing the baby back over when you returned.

Malleus Draconia:

Please keep an eye on that baby. Malleus’ only interaction with human babies had been with Silver when he was just a little ball of chub, and with Lilia being his father… Silver was lucky to have survived his childhood but he had always been special. This baby was not Silver however, and while Malleus would never purposely put them in harms way you can see he doesn’t have the same gentleness another human might have with a fragile little baby. He doesn’t mind when you correct him on the proper way to hold them and listened intently as you explained some of the actions to avoid, like pulling at their little limbs or allowing anything to hit their head. He thinks this is an interesting learning experience though he’s not quite sure what he might need to know about taking care of a human baby, but it also made him happy because it meant you were spending time together.

The baby looked up at Malleus with wide eyes at first, having never seen a fae with long horns or a man quite as striking as Malleus Draconia. They quieted down whenever Malleus spoke to them, seeming to like the sound of his voice and babbling back when he stopped talking. Once they were more comfortable with him they couldn’t help but reach up to touch his horns which you carefully monitored, watching as they felt the new texture and making sure they didn’t yank at them (or his hair) too harshly. Malleus commended their curiosity and lack of fear, thinking it was quite refreshing.

Riddle Rosehearts:

You might assume Riddle would try to collar a baby who was crying incessantly or who wouldn’t listen, but he was surprisingly patient. He took offense to that observation as of course you couldn’t force a baby to follow rules, but you could try and that would matter more than anything. He thinks it’s good to introduce kids to rules as early as possible so they can start getting them into their little heads even if they can’t memorize them quite yet; maybe in the future these early lessons would prove fruitful. He’s patient but it doesn’t mean he won’t get frustrated, able to pull all kinds of knowledge out about babies but not knowing how to truly connect with them.

The baby does stop crying each time Riddle began to talk about the rules, and he even pulled out a book to read through to keep them distracted. He thought this was a good activity because it gave them both something to do, and the little one did seem invested in what he was saying even if they didn’t truly understand. He had never been read to like this when he was young and it sent a pang through his heart, wondering if things might have been different if he had a little more wonder in his young life. Either way, he was no longer the baby in this situation and all he could do was hope they were enjoying their time with him while it lasted.

Sebek Zigvolt:

You think there might be a competition going on about who can be louder. Neither one of them even seem to be shouting but the baby responded with the same tone as Sebek, and his speaking voice just had a natural boom to it. While he had wanted to run at first you had begged him to help you, and while that hadn’t done much the baby’s fascination with Sebek’s portrait of Malleus had. You think the interaction is the funniest thing in the world especially when Sebek tried to indoctrinate the baby into the Malleus Draconia club, holding the portrait in his arms while tears gathered in his eyes.

The way he lit up when he talked about Malleus was cute and the baby clapped in response to his rambling, urging him to continue. Sebek wondered if he repeated Malleus’ name enough if the baby might say it. You stated the parents might not appreciate it but Sebek said it was their own fault as they were the ones who suddenly left him with the baby; either way, they should be honored if Malleus’ name was the first word they uttered. The baby has not a single clue what’s going on but thinks the two of you going back and forth is hilarious, collapsing into fits of giggles each time Sebek made a new face at you trying to reign in his Malleus obsession.

[worldofkuro]

Hi dear! Hope you feeling well! Im writing my hcs but i came up with one idea. If I remember right, here they call it smth like "Imagine". (for Painted Smile)

Imagine teen!Reader is dating a real bastard, just like Alastor's father but maybe light version. And no matter how hard Alastor tries to explain her that this man is bad, she still continues dating him. (Maybe because "it's cool", maybe because she can't leave him (he threatened her), maybe because she wants to make Alastor jealous). What would Alastor do?

Hello my dear, I'm doing great thank you ! Work is already being frustrating but oh well ! I hpe you're doing great yourself !

Let's go for an Imagine about Painted Smile!Alastor reacting to you dating a bastard:

If you are dating a bastard because it’s cool:

Alastor wouldn’t understand. You saw the bruises on his body, his scars, why would you go to some bastard. Did you wish for the same fate as his mother? Then why don’t you choose him? He knew perfectly how that kind of bastard acts. 

If you were just saying it was the thrill to be with a bad guy, he would mock you. What do you know about dangerous guy? You were by his side since day one and yet you haven’t been afraid of him. You see? You are just a little naive thing that needed him to survive.

He would easily manipulate you to give up on the man. You wanted thrills? Just stay with him, you’ll see.

If you were threatened:

Good luck to the poor fella. Alastor is observant, he would know soon enough what was going on and he’ll be able to force you to confess what was going on.

Of course, he would love to kill the fella but he couldn’t be sloppy, it would be easy to merge clues together and find him. He would simply walk to your partner one day and have a gentlemanly discussion until he began to talk about specific private things about the man’s life. The man would get paler and paler as Alastor continued to reveal all about his life.

In the end, Alastor would just smile at him before standing up. He would whisper to the man before leaving. “ Don’t ever come near her.”

If you wanted to make Alastor jealous:

Haha! Dear, you are the cutest ! He knew exactly what you were doing, at first it was amusing. He would see you trying to watch if he was looking at you and your poor boring boyfriend. He would smile at you, waving, and be polite. He would love seeing you upset because your plan wasn’t working.. from your point of view.

He was seething with rage but wouldn’t show it. Each time your boyfriend would touch you, Alastor would clench his fist so hard his nails would perce his hands. You were playing a game of mice and cats, and you were playing it well.

Alastor would snap after a week or more, depending on how tactile the man was with you or if you were beginning to truthfully enjoy your time with the man. He would drag you somewhere and tell you you were such a cruel person to let him watch you get along with such an uninteresting person. He would seduce you back easily into his arms, just as you planned.

[littlewriters-posts]

My Experiment - Cooper Howard/The ghoul x OC

Plot: Cooper finds his way to a little shop on the outskirts of an extremely rough town. When he meets the owner, he's shocked how such a sweet face could survive in such a miserable place. Only he's about to find out exactly what made you the way you are.

Warnings: Er...violence, mentions of sexual assault and I think that is it.

The day Cooper Howard first met Addy, he was in a very bad mood indeed.

Cooper Howard was feared by many people, even those he had never met before. He found himself staring at newcomers with their wide eyed fear in contempt. He didn't want to be feared, not at first, but it did come in handy when he wanted something.

The best way to survive in the wasteland was to make sure you didn't need anything from anybody else. That way you could just live in solitude.

Unfortunately for Cooper, Radway was something he needed, and didn't know how to make.

So there he stood, in a small town shop with a handful of a caps and a devilish grin.

"You know what I'm here for," he said gruffly, and the shopkeeper squeaked in fear.

"Listen, I'm sorry but we are all out," the man seemed to tremble under the gaze of the ghoul. "You'll have to go elsewhere,"

Cooper frowned "Elsewhere?" he asked snidely "I was under the impression you have what I want,"

The man just shook his head. "Please don't kill me, my wife, my kids they need me," he begged.

Cooper raised an eyebrow.

The wife, a stout lady with a wooden leg burst through the door, her hands on her hips.

"Try Addy's." she said gruffly "Up the street about half a mile, turn right when you go past the big oak tree. You'll see it, she hard to miss,"

Cooper tipped his hat to the woman before turning back towards the man.

"Your wife got more balls than you," he commented, before glancing at the woman "Though if you've sent me to some kind of trap, you can be damn sure I'll be back to finish you off,"

The woman sneered "Addy's sent many a men back here with their tails between their legs, but she'll have what you want,"

Cooper nodded, and set off on his way, wondering who on earth this Addy was, and why he had never heard of her before.

The woman was right though, it was hard to miss. A short but long building, kept incuriously clean, with a large pink sign out front.

Welcome to Addy's, come on in!

Cooper's brow furrowed, as his hand found his gun. This place screamed trap, but he needed his radway and would be damned if he didn't get it.

He practically knocked down the door from the hinges as he kicked it open, his gun staring down anything that looked his way.

Not that anything did, the shop was empty. If he could call it that, it was more like an old bar. A long table stood at the far end of the shop, with smaller tables dotted around with chairs like some sort of diner.

"There's no need for that my dear, I'm not going to hurt you," came a sweet voice. Cooper turned, his eyes narrowed at the person in-front of him. She was clean, was the first thing that he noticed about her, her hair seemed washed, her face was smooth and unblemished, and her clothes neatly pressed. There was something vaguely familiar about her, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"And you are?" Cooper asked, his gun not wavering from her face. The girl smiled.

"Can't you read honey? I'm Addy. Now why don't you put that gun down and we can get you what you need."

She didn't seemed bothered, nor the least bit threatened by him as she walked behind the long table and retrieved a large box, full of tiny little vials.

"Ghoulie ...I expect you're looking for Radway?" she asked sweetly "Though there's free water by the owl clock if you need," she gestured to a couple feet to his right where a barrel full of purified water sat.

"You're just giving away this shit? You could be rich," Cooper asked, his gun lowering a little.

Addy smiled "And what good will that do me? I've got everything I need - now why don't you sit for a bit, bounty hunter like you gotta be on his feet a lot,"

Cooper didn't need telling twice, though his eyes still darted around the shop, as if waiting for someone to come and attack.

"And you haven't been raided?" he asked eyebrow raised "How many people know about this place?"

Addy shrugged "Couple people have tried, they've never succeeded though," she said nonchalantly, before handing him three vials "First three are free sugar, after that you gotta pay me,"

Cooper dug in his pockets for his caps, but Addy shook her head.

"I don't bother with those bits of junk." she said, scrunching her nose up.

"Then what do people pay you in?" Cooper asked, his hand twitching towards his gun again.

Addy grinned "My, you're not very trusting are you honey?" she said gesturing to where his hand rested on the hilt of his weapon "People pay me in favours sweetheart. Sometimes I need bread, or I run out of milk," she said listing it off on her fingers.

"Well I ain't no farmer sweetheart," The Ghoul mocked.

Addy shook her head "No, but I might need you to find someone for me, everyone got their talents,"

Cooper nodded slightly "So I want eight of these, how much that gonna cost me in favours then?" he asked, still ever so slightly suspicious of her.

Her response was interrupted however, by a loud bang.

Cooper jumped up, gun in his hand, only to find a young girl running across the room, frantically knocking everything in her path.

Addy frowned "Laya?" she asked.

The little girl stopped, staring at the two adults. She couldn't have been more than twelve years old, but what caught the attention the most was the blood running down the inside of her thigh.

"Addy-" she gulped tears streaming down her face "I didn't want them too Addy, they wouldn't stop," she stuttered, her pale face turning a sickly green.

Cooper grimaced, he might have been evil, but he would never even dream of doing something like that, much less to a child.

Addy collected the little girl in her arms "Were your followed?" she asked sternly "It's okay if you were, I can take care of...how many were there?"

The little girl gulped "Five," she whispered "Please don't let them take me again,"

Addy nodded before turning to the Ghoul. "For five vials I want you to take that little girl to the back room back there. Do not let her see anything and do not come out," she said sternly "Not until I call you,"

Cooper shook his head "You want me to believe a small thing like you can take on five grown men? You're gonna need help with that,"

Addy raised her eyebrow "You asked me why I never got raided, and it's not because I had some Ghoulie doing my dirty work," she reprimanded "No go on sweetie, he's not gonna hurt you,"

She gently pushed the little girl into Cooper's arms, and hurried them into the back room.

The little girl immediate ran to the corner, her eyes never leaving the Ghoul in-front of her. She clearly didn't trust him in the slightest, but he paid her little attention.

Instead he looked around the room in surprise. The first thing he noticed again was how clean it was, even the rickety old bed was neatly made up. Dozens of trinkets, old tapes, an even an old TV stood in vicarious positions among the room. But what made his heart stop, was the blue and yellow uniform that hung on the back of the door, adorning the yellow number 4.

Addy was a Vaultie?

He snarled slightly, of course she had more than everyone else, the girl was a vaultie, she probably got sent supplies from people whilst the rest of the people starved.

"Stay there," he said to the little girl, who nodded in fear.

As he opened the door, he quickly ducked under one of the tables as five men walked into the bar, each with sickening grins on their faces. Cooper debating on helping the woman out, but the Blue and yellow uniform couldn't shake from his mind.

"Morning Addy, you haven't seen a little whore back here have you?" the front man snarled.

Addy looked at him coldly "No. I've seen a little girl, but there is no way in hell you are going to get her,"

Then men clicked their guns together menacingly. "And what's a pretty thing like you gonna do to stop us?"

Addy stared at him, "Violence never solves anything," she quipped.

The man sneered "Let's just put a bullet through her head and be off with it," he practically begged the other man. One of the men sighed and nodded.

"Look if you don't let us pass we are gonna have to shoot you," he said feigning sadness.

"I'd like to see you try," Addy replied politely, as if they were just having an honest conversation.

Cooper sighed, realising that this Addy girl was defiantly going to die and he was going to be stuck with a traumatised child to take home.

The man raised his gun, firing before Cooper could react. Addy whirled around, her fingers stopping inches before her face.

Did she just catch the bullet?

One of the man snarled, firing round after round, but Addy ducked under one of the tables, crawling along until she found -

"I thought I told you to stay in the fucking back?" she hissed at Cooper.

"You never mentioned you were a vaultie," he hissed back angrily.

Addy blinked "Oh shit I forgot to put that away - listen I'm not what you think," she said quickly, ducking again as more bullets fired there way into the hardwood. "Just give me five minutes and I'll explain everything,"

"Five minutes?" Cooper scoffed "With these guys?"

Addy nodded "And stay down. I don't need a ghoulie fighting my goddamn battles,"

He watched as the strange woman lept into the air, running along the table and diving off of it, taking down two of the men as she did so.

She snarled at the other three, two of which dropped their weapons in fear. For her face, her smooth dainty face had changed, warped into something they couldn't quite place. Large fangs protruded from her mouth like some kind of deranged animal, and her eyes darkened until they formed black holes.

She swiped at them, her claws scraping across them, cutting through their skin like butter. They howled, falling to the floor in agony, but didn't move again.

When she stood, she found the Ghoul pointing his gun at her as well, a strange feeling in his eyes. He hadn't felt fear in a long time, but this was something completely different. He didn't even know what to make of this.

Addy's face returned to normal, though the blood splatters on her skin did not.

"It's alright ghoulie I'm not gonna hurt you," she soothed "I told you to stay in the back room," she added, slightly annoyed.

"What the hell are you?" he asked his gun never wavering.

Addy groaned "For fuck sake," she said before sitting down on one of the chairs, her head in her hands.

Cooper didn't quite know what to do, his old self would have just shot her, his really old self would have tried to comfort her.

Addy sighed "You're right I am a vault dweller but not in the way you might think. My brother sold me, he wanted to be one of the overseers, so he sold me to Vault 4, the vault run by scientists. They had this sick thing where they wanted to create something half human, half animal," she laughed humourlessly. "Pulled me apart, put me back together until they got what they fucking wanted,"

Cooper lowered his gun. The clogs in his mind whirring, desperate to try and figure out exactly where he knew that girl from. He knew the overseer's of the vaults, or some of them anyway, could she be someone he used to know?

"You're Amy MacLean," he realised. This whole time he knew there was something familiar about her, but he couldn't quite place what. And now he knew.

Amy Maclean was the runner girl on the sets back in his days at Valt-tech, She must have been turning seventeen when he last saw her. Sweet, he remembered, always bringing him something for his dog to eat whenever she could.

Addy looked at him sharply "Haven't heard that name in a long time," she said. "Ghoulies live longer I suppose,"

Cooper frowned "How long have you been on the surface," she didn't appear to be that much older than when he last saw her, sure she was definitely late twenties to early thirties now, her baby-face teen look had shattered completely, but she didn't look 200.

Addy eyed him slightly before kicking her legs onto the table "70 years, I was here before the last bombs dropped on Shady sands," she said "Whatever those people did to me slowed down my aging process,"

Cooper finally lowered his gun "We should check on that little girl," he said, but Addy waved him off.

"Let her be on her own for a bit. Last thing she needs is people crowding round her,"

Cooper didn't dare ask how Addy knew that, he didn't want to know.

"You've been here ever since?" he asked. Addy nodded.

"Learnt how to purify radioactive water, takes a long time but you don't have to do much. I give the village fresh water, chems for illnesses and stuff. In return they don't kill my ass or raid me." she said with a sigh "It's not much, but it's about as safe as you can get round here,"

Cooper nodded slightly. It was impressive, what she had built, but part of him wished he had been there to protect her. She was just a kid, and now she's all grown up, and refused to let her heart harden to the world like he had done to his all those years ago.

"You can take nine vials, in return for the girls safe passing back to her house," Addy said "I'll throw in a hot meal too if you promise not to frighten her,"

"Deal," Cooper said " I gotta ask lady, how are you getting all these vials? These days they're hard to come by,"

Addy smiled up at him "I make it sweety. Radway was made by vault-tech, and when I escaped I stole their Chem book. The ingredients are damn hard to find, but it's an easy make after that,"

Cooper grinned "Well I know where to come back to then," his smile to anybody else would have been deemed threatening, as to anyone else his entire presence would have them quaking in their boots, but the strange girl just smiled up at him.

"You're always welcome here Mr Howard," she said softly.

It wasn't until Cooper left, the little girl trailing behind him did he realise, he had never told her his name.

Part two

[fanfic-obsessed]

Well...That Esclated Quickly

Here is another idea that came to me during my walk to work.  I want you to know, though it goes in a humorous direction it really is not a full fix-it. 

When Order 66 went live, some of the chips did not activate. There is no rhyme nor reason as to which chips activate and which did not. Not a huge amount compared to the whole, but some. Enough that a few hundred Jedi and a Few thousand Clones regroup in the aftermath. 

While you can fill in most of the blanks the following are included in my idea

Obi Wan Kenobi and a company’s worth of 212th clones, including Cody: Obi Wan was still shot off the cliff, to the horrified eyes of the still free clones. The still free clones don't have enough numbers to take on their brethren who appear to have gone insane, but do have enough to steal one of the midsized transport ships, one capable of hyperspace flight.  They reluctantly allow Obi Wan to go to Coruscant on his own, with the rationale that one person can sneak to the surface much easier than a whole company, while the clones establish a regroup point.  From there Obi Wan goes on the Mustafar, which ends as it did in canon. Obi Wan brings Padme to the transport ship where she still dies of complications of her pregnancy

Fox, Hound, a dozen other members of the CG, and the Younglings: Fox and the few members of the CG that were unaffected by O66 raced to beat the 501st to the Temple. They made it just a few minutes before their enslaved brothers. Just barely in time to evacuate the children in the creche with the help (and insistent sacrifice) of the adult Jedi.  While there were a few Creche Masters evacuated with the children, it was now basically just Fox and his CG functionally in charge of baby Jedi ranging from Babies to Pre teens. They connect with remains of the 212th before the events of Mustafar. 

Yoda, who did still have to kill his commander in order to escape, but was able to bring a few clones with him.  They still end up being collected by Bail Organa.

Ahsoka, Rex, Jesse and  a portion of the maintenance team for their battalion: They do not meet up with the rest for quite some time (at least three years). Rex’s chip did activate but he was able to get Ahsoka the message about Fives. After Rex is freed they find Jesse and the other free clones (soft shells all) looking on in horror at their controlled brethren. With the help of the maintenance team they are able to escape from the ship without freeing Maul or crashing into the moon.  By the time they are able to look past the immediate situation, the Temple is already burning and it has been announced that the Jedi are traitors. These 25 or so go to ground in Mandalorian space and try to figure out how to free the clones from the chips (beyond surgery which really does not work with the numbers they have to deal with). They do not realize anyone else has survived. 

Aayla survived, due to one of the clones (not Bly) pushing her out of the way and sacrificing his life for her. Bly’s chip does work. She escapes with two dozen free clones and six chipped clones tied up in the back (Including Bly, even the clones agree they cannot save everyone and hopefully it means that they can figure out what is going wrong).

Shaak Ti, 10 Veteran clones, 40 ‘Shinies’, 300 child and teenage cadets, three junior Kaminoan Scientists (not Nala Se) none of which knew about the chip or Order 66, and Omega.  Shaak Ti had been working with a few Kaminoan Scientists to see the clones as sentients in their own right and the reactions of the clones under the chip's control horrified a few of those scientists.  Between them and Omega, who had been paying attention and used this as a chance to escape the lab (the Bad Batch being off planet at the time) they were able to evacuate anyone not under the control of the chip. 

All of these people (Barring Ahsoka and Co) converge on the ship that had been stolen by the free 212th clones. Had less children survived (about a third of the living Jedi are children under the age of 11, plus the cadets) they all would likely have split into small groups and made their own way through the galaxy. But there was just no way to break into small enough groups to be safe AND still make sure the children (and to some extent the Shinies) were taken care of.  They were also too large a group to go anywhere in the Republic, or even anywhere in Mandalorian space (There were an awful lot of uninhabited planets in the galaxy but most were uninhabited for a reason). Thus there was only one thing they could do.

Take over the Hutt Empire.

To be fair the take over part did start out accidentally. The actual goal was to find a place to lay low in the Hutt Empire, possibly the only place Palpatine’s Empire could not reach quite yet(at least until Palpatine solidified his rule). 

So they found a planet within the Hutt Empire to lay low on, While Bail Organa left to begin planting the seeds for the rebellion (No Leia as the twins were not being split up). As much as I want it to be Tattoine, it just has too small a population to not have a couple of thousand people (Most of whom hide their very distinctive faces) showing not be noticeable. So they choose a planet with a higher population. 

This is where the trouble began. All of our adults are deeply traumatized, trained warriors who are not used to sitting by, universally feeling useless. They are facing an insurmountable task, still mostly directionless, and deeply angry at life.  

It starts with the local Hutt’s minions trying to shake down some newcomers, who were not looking for a target to vent their spleen but found one just the same. It does not end well for the minions. Nor the next six attempts, with different groups of Clones and Jedi each time.  No one has told Command yet, but they look at each other and ‘shit we can’t keep drawing attention to ourselves but we can’t leave either’

The solution (Commander Cody himself would like to reiterate this was not the correct solution)? Take out the Hutt. Then they realize that taking out the Hutt has just drawn more attention to this city as the other Hutts for the planet try to figure out who took out this one.

The next Solution? Take out the rest of the Hutts on the planet. 

They have now drawn even more attention to the planet from yet more Hutts. This is the one thing that is critical they do not have. 

The next Solution? Try three to make this plan work (Commander Cody reminds you that trying the same thing over and over again, hoping for different results, is the definition of insanity) and take out the Hutts looking for answers. 

By the time that these small groups have admitted to Command (Obi Wan, Cody, Yoda, Shaak Ti, Fox) what is going on, a few months later, they have accidentally taken over the Hutt Empire.

The Hutt Empire that is still nominally allied with Palpatine’s Empire. The Hutt Empire that has to stay allied to Palpatine’s Empire if they do not want to draw the attention of the entire Imperial Forces to the largest concentration of living Jedi and free Clones in the galaxy.  The Hutt Empire that no longer has any active Hutts. 

In this the human centric leaning of Palpatine’s Empire is actually helpful.  They very rarely wanted to deal with other species, so it was easy to appoint someone unknown but human to deal with the com calls and visits. It does mean that they have to make up a Hutt that they essentially have to play ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ with, a couple of times a year when a representative insists on meeting with the Hutt in charge. 

Also the fact that Palpatine’s Empire is more interested in enslaving their own citizens for free as opposed to buying them from the Hutts means that they can shut down the slave trade within Hutt Space (over time).  Fox both loves and hates running a criminal empire. 

It should be noted that, even with Bly and the five other chipped clones, no one actually knows what is going on until Rex and Co find their way back to them.  We are going with the thought that a level 5 atomic scan is a ludicrously high level of scanning. Like sitting on a Nuclear Reactor to get an X-Ray kind of ludicrous, so not only does no one think to do that level of scanning to see what is wrong, but they do not even have that kind of equipment readily available.  The reports about Fives from Rex never made it to any kind of centralized repository, there is no way to know why most clones suddenly started to kill Jedi. Bly and Co spend the three years before Rex shows up in a makeshift brig, they can function almost normally until a Jedi is brought up or in the room with them. 

Bail laughs his ass off when he is told, through several intermediaries and coded messages, that the Jedi and the Clones accidentally took over a criminal empire.  Then he starts funneling the Path and the people his rebellion are rescuing into Hutt Space to find the Jedi. 

Three years in Rex, Ahsoka, the clones with them (now having grown to nearly another thousand) arrive with the news that they can disable the chips from a distance of about a large cruiser. 

That is how the Hutt Empire became freedom fighters.

[nunalastor]

Appleradio secret marriage au part 5:

(Let me just thank firebreathingduck for your support with reblogs cause you are most of my motivation to make the next parts!)

Angel dust didn't know what was happening, he was investigating. Having to work with that sonofabitch Valentino made it easy to tell people's intentions and moods – in the same yet different way from Husk. While Husk looked at everything overall except actions (he didn't believe you could tell if a person is kind by how they act), Angel looked at body language, how they carried themselves compared to usual and slight hanges in the pitch of their tone of voice. It was difficult, but he had to do this to survive.

But if there was something that brightened up his dull life – except drugs – it was investigating possible relationships. It was admittedly strange, but he loved being in on the secret, especially so when it was a healthy relationship.

And that was why he made sure to get off work early (don't ask how he did it, he would like not to say), and he made sure not to drink or do anything that might stop him from studying the two. Yes, he already knew something was going on between Alastor and Lucifer. They'd literally stare into eachothers eyes, for gods sake!

So he'd sit in the bar, drinking a non-alcoholic drink and chatting with Husk while he waited for the two main characters to enter the room – they always went to the bar at some point, even when they didn't drink anything at all.

When he would hear their steps, he'd make an excuse to go somewhere else when in actuality he would just hide to listen in. This, obviously, didn't go very well since the spider was the worst for hiding – he was literally made for the spotlight. So all he would get are spats and arguments.

He'd decide on different approaches to this. Husk knew something, so maybe a bribe would work? Maybe Charlie would help, she seemed a bit oblivious to it though (but she was also a good liar, so...). Or maybe he could keep hiding and one day be successfull with it.

And there was one thing he never expected, for them not to even notice him! Lucifer was already too drunk and Alastor was too focused on helping Lucifer to notice him. It really was a stroke of luck, cause he got to see it.

Lucifer was calling him every sweet name in the book, constantly complimenting Alastor on things Angel didn't even know could be complimented – an example, "The way your hands curl around a mug is so satisfying and elegant, I love it." – and multiple other things like that. And even funnier is that Alastor didn't seem to hate it, rather, he just wanted to calm Lucifer down from his random outburst of giggles that would happen unexpectedly.

Angel could even see how Lucifer would caress Alastor, making him freeze in place in a fluster. He also saw the slight clench of Husk's fists, how he would speak through gritted teeth as he watched the two interact.

He also heard a few lust-filled whispers from Lucifer as he'd fondle Alastor's tail with familiarity. It was a fun show, but he knew when to leave so he'd left before seeing anything else.

But since that time, every little thing with Alastor and Lucifer held different meaning to Angel. Their spats, rather than sounding hateful, were more of a fond remark to the other. Lucifer's every glance at Alastor's ears were not because he wanted to rip them off but because he wanted to stroke them, run his fingers through the fluff and listen to Alastor's gasps.

And it was undeniable that Angel also felt the urge to do so, but moreso to just see how soft they were. Especially the tail he glimpsed that one day.

Angel was almost envious of both Lucifer and Alastor.

(Please don't mind mischaracterisations of characters. I haven't really seen a lot of Hazbin Hotel so I don't know how the characters are outside of fanfics and theories! Ideas are appreciated and please comment your own thoughts on this since I love motivation.)

(Clarification with Angel. Angel only would flirt with Alastor to see Lucifer's reactions. In his eyes, the jealousy of Lucifer outweighs the chance of being flattened by the deer. Angel and Husk are only close friends but if you want you can choose for them to be in a relationship. Angel is somewhere on the asexual spectrum (yes, ace people can have sex) and doesn't really broadcast the fact that he is ace for everyone to know. That is why Lucifer feels threatened by Angel, because he believes Angel actually has sexual interest in Alastor and knows that Angel can be enticing. Angel hopes that their relationship stays strong, and it will.)

👀

[the16thtower]

Wyll Ravengard fucking undoes me because while a lot of fans and the BG3 writers do him dirty, there's so much going on with his character that just isn't explored or elaborated on that is so fascinating.

I have a parent who functions as a pillar of the community in my hometown, who is incredibly competent and admirable, and who judges me harshly for supposedly making choices that ruined my life. It's really difficult trying to wrap your head around all the different layers of that kind of relationship and Wyll never gets to really address it properly.

If we think about what happens after he gets kicked out of home:

What does he get to take with him? Does he even get a chance to pack any belongings? He looks like a normal human for the most part when we first met him, so what did Ulder tell people? We don't know about his mother but is there any family or family friends he could stay with? Did Ulder poison the well with everyone Wyll knew or did he lie? God, just the idea that Ulder looked his son in the face (freshly injured) and immediately threw him out is devastating. Wyll is so certain about the prudence of his father's decision when we met him but either:

This is a perspective he's eventually made peace with

His conviction in his father never waned

which both suck! Either his idol, his father, screwed up massively or he has so little concern for himself that it never occurred to him that Ulder's justification was shit. Ulder is the Duke of Baldur's Gate, with all the resources that grants him, and he didn't even try to contact an expert on demons to try and get more info on his son's situation? What the fuck! There's the whole bit with the Trials of Balduran about appropriate punishment that Wyll agrees with that he doesn't even think to apply to his own situation. It can really fuck you up having your hero, who you admire for the good they do for others, decide you're not worthy of that same good.

Wyll tries so hard to be a good person and to lead by example but never seems to see himself as an acceptable recipient of the grace and kindness he shows others.

Does Mizora just immediately whisk him off to different parts of the Sword Coast to start acting the part of the Blade of Frontiers? He's seventeen, homeless, no support network, and fighting monsters - I'm going to lose my fucking mind. That's ridiculous. That kid was already dealing with his father's intense expectations (from what Wyll describes, Ulder was raising Wyll to follow in his footsteps, which is a steep ask). He then suddenly loses everything, on top of the stigma of demon association - Wyll's mental health must have tanked at some point. Depression, anxiety, and PTSD are definitely on the table (plus phantom pains from the prosthetic eye).

Just thinking of this teenager learning how to drink properly with no one looking out for him, trying to numb things a bit, and just becoming a sad wreck every time. Just... there's so much there with Wyll having to grow up very quickly in very lonely circumstances. We know he has some acquaintances, like the tieflings, but who actually knows what's going on with him? Is he still shouldering his burdens alone? Is MIzora around bothering him or does she flit in and out of his life? He's in exile for seven years.

And he's still a romantic and an idealist! Unflinchingly, genuinely, with his chest! He endures! He becomes a hero. It's beautiful. He survives and cultivates his best qualities in the face of awful circumstances. Wyll has this intense sense of morality and will (pardon the joke) that never permits him to sway from the right thing, even with everything stacked against him. And it routinely costs him! It's so, so hard to do the right thing and he still does it because he simply can't see another outcome worth living through.

It upsets me a little that Wyll ends up doubling down on what a good person his dad is when they reunite - as if Wyll hasn't demonstrated infinitely more empathy and compassion for other people, even when it actively impedes him. He's good because he chooses to be good and seeks to understand, not because he's able to follow the standards set by other men.

This is not a particularly organised discussion but fuck, I love Wyll Ravengard.

[adidegmez]

One last time

The bad batch s3 ep 15 spoilers

I am not okay.

Kids survived, some clones survived, tha batch survived What more could we ask for? Well i know Tech. I wanted Tech to return why couldn't he return. Why give us hope why? They convinced us cx2 is someone important and i believed he was tech. But no they just gave hope for nothing.

Ending caught me off guard. I thought someone was going to die i think everyone thought someone would ünd maybe even everyone dies. They survived all them i am glad by this its great.

I cried a lot. When they mentioned Tech i couldn't keep it together.

I am still sad. Ending was great we have everything we ever wanted except Tech.

Hemlock died, rampart died. Nala Se was good. Emerie helped the batch and now she and echo going to help clone underground(hopefully we will get a clone underground show with this artstyle). Everyone and everything is good again except tech i can't stop thinking the fact that they didn't bring hil back why???

If he doesn't have a hand to tremble, there is no trembling problem. They actually did that.

Echo is proud of Omega, hunter wrecker and crosshair knew right away zillo was omega's work.

I thought wrecker was going to die when he echo asked where Hunter and Crosshair are.

The hug omega gave Hunter and Crosshair, the scene where all the batch (except echo and tech of course) sitting in peace so beautiful.

Clone x troopers there are 4 of them. When i was watching i thought they might have been developed with special mutations like bad batch's. But this is not true probably one of those clone looked like a reg. They are all probably reg but how can they fight so good?

Btw I didn't think for even 1 second that the clones wouldn't help rescue their brothers. I like clones, their personality (and their voice ofc) is perfect.

I hope Crosshair knows tech wanted to save him(they must have told him right?). I wish Tech could've see crosshair's character development his story. I wish no could've knew he joined them. I wish... Tech was alive. They didn't bring him back but how could he be dea i still can't belive and now while writing this i am thinking why can't he still be alive maybe i am being so delusional but they didn't confirmed he is dead if there is no body then there is no death, right? Since the end of season 2 we assumed he was alive but they didn't do anything different in this episode than the whole season to prove he is dead. But we still believed he was alive why cant we still believe he is alive the show ended yes but maybe in the future they will make a clone underground show and maybe tech will return. He probably wouldn't return but i refuse to believe he is dead i will believe he is alive untul they prove he is dead but they probably wouldn't prove it. So in my mind tech will be alive and i don't care if i am being too delusional. 🤷🏻‍♀️

When i see older omega first i thought she became a liberater of ancient wonders but this ending made so much more sense. Omega left without saying goodbye to crosshair and wrecker. But Hunter and omega's conversation was beautiful. I think they made that place like a museum?

Crosshair and hunter together killed hemlock, they saved omega together, they believed omega, they believed eachother and themselves. That scene was perfect.

Everything went well, we got a better ending what i expected. But tech...

No matter how much we want some stories doesn't have a happy ending this is what i think about even though we have happy ending i will never forget how tech sacrificed himself for his family. in the end they didn't waste his sacrifice in s2 finale and they did what they were going to do before hemlock captured omega in s2. They lived a peaceful life in pabu they retired.

I keep coming back to the same thing, i know but i can't help it. Tech tech tech... Heroic tech.

I've written too many things too mixed up. But if you've read this far, thank you. And I'm so glad I can be a part of this adventure. I started by writing my thoughts about star wars on Tumblr. And here, theories, fanarts, headcanons, everything was beautiful. Thank you everyone for everything. I'm glad I was able to experience the adventures of Bad Batch with you. goodbye till the next adventure.

thank you dee bradley baker and michelle ang for bringing these characters to life. And thanks to everyone who worked on this beautiful show.

It has been a beautiful (sometimes painful an sometimes peaceful) journey.

goodbye to the bad batch, goodbye

Hunter

Tech

Wrecker

Crosshair

Echo

and Omega.

It has been an honor to know you and being able to watch your adventures. Goodbye o7.

[taemmin]

key, 'hard' @ kpop lux, madrid [230722] video cr.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Watching episode one of Voyager is like watching the first act of a horror movie

[snickerdoodlles]

having a lot of thoughts right now at 4am about chay being ruthless

there’s a specific animorphs quote i’m thinking of:

"People don't understand the word ruthless. They think it means 'mean.' It's not about being mean. It's about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It's about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution. Not caring about anything else but the perfection of it." — Marco, The Reunion by K.A. Applegate 

specifically the bit: It's about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. 

now, i dont think chay from season 1 is ruthless. but i very much see him as having the makings of it. chay has a very simple and direct approach to things; he sees something he wants, so he pursues it (he asks his idol for lessons their first meeting, he doesn’t let kim skip out on tutor lessons, he confesses twice because he had a homework goal and then a personal goal, he wants the truth so he confronts kim that same day, etc). and we see this theme of ‘chay has a goal, chay pursues goal’ most often with kim because they specifically foil each other in this. kim has a grand speech about making sacrifices to achieve your goals, but he’s stagnant between the world he was borne into and cant fully leave because of his brothers, vs the soft bright world he wants to be in but cant because he comes bearing blood. this directly contrasts with chay, who pursues his goals fullheartedly and recklessly

now, chay's not ruthless. not...yet. but there’s also these little...hints of a ruthlessly practical mindset to him. the most standout point for me in this regard was episode 1 when porsche is worried about his uncle. he’s sent arthee away, but he’s still planning “how do i get uncle out of trouble, and how do i maximize it?”

but chay? chay’s straight up like “uncle’s problems aren’t ours, lets just runaway to go live your dream of owning a bar on the beach”

i love this scene between porsche and chay so much. not only is really heartwarming, but i think it rly solidifies who they are as characters right off the bat. porsche is a caretaker. he takes care of everyone around him, whether he has an obligation to or not. but chay is fully ready to just leave their uncle behind. uncle interferes with brother’s and mine’s future plans? then no uncle in future plans. chay doesn’t even seem to mourn nor care that his uncle, one of his two caretakers left, is just gone from his life after ep1. like...that’s a really cold assessment for a teenager to make about one of his two living family members (that he knows of)

for me, what holds chay back from tipping into any sort of ruthless so far is mostly his naivety. not innocence (chay is not innocent yes i am still fighting on this hill), but he has certain expectations of the world that don’t necessarily match what the world is. to me, this shows most clearly when he sees warning flags (”...how do you know i have a brother?”) but is fully willing to ignore them in favor of pursuing his original goal(s) instead of taking the warning flags into account. and since he doesn’t plan for them, when some of those flags grow into actual problems, they really trip him up in ways he’s not prepared to handle. but he doesn’t have that any more at the end of season 1

if we do get a second season, i would be v curious to see where chay’s character develops. im apparently the outlier lol, but i actually really love where kim and chay ended in s1. they were on a trajectory to crash in the middle and instead they missed and landed where the other started. kim, the kid running away from the things he’s always wanted, puts himself out there with zero expectation or surety that chay will reach back. chay lingers over the video, unsure if he wants to respond to it or block it, so he throws his phone away to deal with it another time. and it’d just be really interesting to see how these two characters would react following the same trajectory the other one originally did, but coming at it with a very different background/development. and for chay specifically, i would just rly love to see how his ep1 “lets just abandon uncle to the debtors and go live our dreams on a beach” hints might come back/come into play in a mafia world setting

[dirt-str1der]

yk every time i see a post about somebody wishing bad things on another person i think ‘dirt-strider to kiryu’ you’ve broken me brain

You see a post thats like i want to stick him in time prison so that he gets so bored he starts breaking his own bones to get even a hint of stimulation and its tagged me at kiryu and you scroll down and its a post thats like i want to feed him chips from my cupped hands like a wild stallion and its also tagged me at kiryu also hiiiiiiiii

[ziracona]

People on tumblr will complain about games having heavy handed ethics and black and white narratives with practically unexecutable ideologies, then throw the biggest hissy fit of all time at any games where doing the good guy thing and saving attacked minorities or causes has casualties and makes you kill people in order to enact any large scale real lasting change.

[infectedpaul]

g5 mlp makes me so sad cause on one hand i really wanna say a lot about its weird ass release through netflix, youtube, and comics all released sporatically with no fanfare and just the low quality overall but also like.......its clearly aiming for an even younger demographic than g4 (or maybe its the same age and tastes have just changed, idk) so like do i Get an opinion without sounding like a rantsona youtuber lol

[robinsnest2111]

thinking about everyone who experienced me, premium front row seats and audience participation included, at my absolute worst and still want to have something to do with current day me. idk what I did to deserve you peeps in my life and I hope every single day I can be a good friend to you now that I'm actively trying to heal 🙏

[falling-endlessly]

The Finer Things in Death

Alastor x Soulmate!Female!Reader

Summary: An AU where your soulmate's first words to you are tattooed on your body in their handwriting.

Oh dear, where's your smile?

You knew those words by heart. Could recite them backwards, in your sleep even. Those damning words have been inscribed on the inside of your ankle for as long as you could remember, the elegant cursive strokes poking out of your shoe line.

In theory, somewhere, someone else was supposed to be sporting your own neat, boxy handwriting. You'd say you lucked out with yours. Some soul marks were less than pleasant, and others were downright embarrassing (imagine having the words move, asshole written on your stomach for the rest of your life. No thank you).

At least your soulmate was trying to cheer you up, right?

Yeah, but there was just one teeny, tiny problem.

Your soulmate was dead. Long dead actually.

Were they stillborn? Did their toddler self die in a house fire or something? Night after night you laid awake in your bed, pondering what the hell could have possibly happened to have altered the entire course of fate.

All you really knew was that your soul mark was a light gray (indicating a severed bond) instead of the usual inky black, and it had been since the day you were born. Everyone was in shock to see the faint words on your little ankle. After all, how could a soul mark exist if the other person wasn't even alive to speak those words into existence?

Simply put, you were a conundrum, and it had been some time since you had dedicated effort into figuring out why? You'd accepted it. Your soulmate was dead. Life went on.

Besides, you'd spent enough time grieving over someone you'd never met before.

Your lifestyle was not extravagant by any means, but it was comfortable. You had a steady income, lived on your own in an apartment in the city, and survived off of more than ramen bowls. Every day you would come home and read in your little fluffy alcove that you'd built yourself by your window, or pop open a bag of chips (and the occasional bottle of wine, if you were feeling fancy) while you watched the latest crime show releases from your couch.

Yes, so comfortable was your little routine, that you didn't notice the robbery happening in the convenience store you were browsing in, or the stray bullet coming for your head until it was too late. Your skull exploded in a world of pain, eyes rolling back as your body crumpled to the ground.

Dying was an interesting experience, to say the least. Your soul floated from your body, the final notes of music that blasted from your earphones fading into nothingness like the sound of a car driving away.

There was a brief moment where you were struck numb, hovering in the air as you stared down at your glassy eyed corpse, blood pooling alarmingly from the circular shaped hole in your head. You heard screams of the other customers behind you, but they were kind of muffled, like you were underwater.

It didn't last long though, because before you knew what was happening, you felt an almighty tug downwards,  like an anchor had just chained itself to your stomach.

And that was how you ended up in hell. Fun. What were you here for? You had no idea. Maybe God got mad that your teenage self stole a few packs of gummy bears in high school. But a life of eternal damnation and suffering seemed a little harsh, didn't it?

Before you could contemplate the semantics of it though, something...strange happened. Your ankle, right where you'd tried countless times to forget your soul mark existed, was burning like a fucking brand.

You hissed sharply in pain, frantically pulling down your sock to assess the damage. Was the eternal punishment starting already or something? Shit, you had terrible pain tolerance.

But what you saw made you gasp. In fact, you could hardly believe your eyes.

Because in the place of your faded grey soul mark, the letters had been reinvigorated, darkened with a swift hand and—glowing they were glowing holy shit.

"Hah," you huffed in disbelief, shaking your head slowly. "So that was it, huh? I was destined to meet my shitty soulmate in hell this whole fucking time?" You punctuated the last words with a few angry kicks to an unassuming patch of weeds. What a cosmic joke at your existence.

But, like you always did in shitty situations, you gathered all of your raging emotions, stuffed them tightly in a box at the back of your mind, and cooled your head. Freaking out in this place would do you no good.

Turned out hell was pretty much like the world you'd left, except for the fact that you could kill someone on the street and nobody would bat an eye. Like all of the depraved aspects of humanity were on full display now in a somehow still functioning society.

You managed to snag a job at an old record store, the owner giving you one look before grunting and gesturing to the register—but not before lifting his jacket to show you the long assault riffle strapped across his chest. Yeesh, you got the message.

It wasn't a bad job by any means, especially considering where you were. Sure a little boring and monotonous, but you'd restock thousands of old albums if it meant staying away from the overlords.

Oh, yeah, another thing. Overlords were like the big shots around hell. Messing with them usually meant a death sentence, or worse, a contract.

And if there was anything at all that you picked up from all those nights of watching television, it was that you do not make deals with the devil. Really, elementary level shit. And you'd never actually seen Lucifer, mind you, but these demons were probably a close second, right?

Yeah, so really, you were just living a shittier variant of your life on earth it seemed. Repetitive, safe and comforting. You were even starting to like the scent of musty cardboard, as weird as that was.

And once again, all thoughts of your soulmate slipped your mind.

Until one day, when everything went to shit.

****

It started like this: with the sad sight of your empty fridge.

You groaned, dragging a tired hand down your face. Seriously? You thought you'd restocked already, damn it. 

Your stomach growled achingly, and you sighed, wondering if you'd actually die again if you starved yourself. Begrudgingly, you decided that you didn't really want to chance it, throwing on the first set of clothes that you saw and slipping out of your dingy apartment to make a quick grocery run.

You generally hated leaving your apartment, and didn't do so except to retrieve bare necessities or walk across the block to go to work.

Why? Well, see exhibit A to your left: some poor, random demon screeching and running around on fire. See exhibit B to your right: a turf war between two rival gangs. And finally how could you forget, cannibal colony, slurping up intestines like bloody, chunky spaghetti. Disgusting.

The worst thing about hell wasn't the fact that you were in hell, it was the fact that the worst of the worst people were all cramped together like some fucked up refugee camp, and some people were significantly worse than others. Which sucked, for the poor unfortunate souls just trying to get by. Like you.

You sighed, ducking under a stray stream of bullets (you weren't falling for that shit twice) and side stepping pools of blood and guts. Just a regular Monday morning in hell. God damn it.

It seemed luck wasn't on your side though, because an ugly, dog-headed demon blocked your path, sneering down at you smugly. "Hey bitch, it's your lucky day. The big boss is hiring, and you fit the profile."

You clenched your grocery bags in a white-knuckled grip. Nobody would give a flying fuck if you were dragged off of the street in broad daylight. "Not interested."

"Oh it wasn't a suggestion," he chuckled darkly. You tensed as you were surrounded by at least four other demons. Shit, you knew you should have slept in.

"You like apples?" You nodded sharply at the demon in charge.

His face twisted in annoyance. "Why the fuck do y—"

You reached into your bag, before hurling a granny smith straight at his forehead. He yelped as it made contact, stumbling back as he shook his head in confusion. While everyone was still in shock from your weapon of choice, you shoved your way out of the circle, gunning it straight down the street because your second life did depend on it.

"Get her!" You heard a yell of absolute rage, making you shiver. Fuck, that did not sound promising. That apple must have really pissed him off.

Putting your limited aerobics to use, you ducked, dodged and lunged through the crowd like a pro. Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, air burning your lungs as you pumped your legs faster. But of course, your grocery bag ripped open, sending all of your food tumbling and you by extension, tripping and face planting in the dirt rather pathetically.

A meaty hand gripped a handful of your hair, yanking it up harshly. You cried out as he pulled, hands uselessly trying to smack his away, but his hold only tightened. A liquor-filled breath and cheap cologne invaded your senses, making you cough.

"Uppity bitch," he growled, giving your scalp a painful yank for good measure. "You actually thought you could get away? Maybe I should teach you a lesson, huh? Sample the goods."

You froze, every nerve in your body going cold. So far in your stay in hell, you'd managed to avoid the more depraved souls here. You kept your head down, didn't draw attention to yourself, and were mostly left alone. Looked like today, your luck had finally run out.

"Get the hell off of me!" You spat, twisting around vehemently, only for your head to snap to the side as you were harshly backhanded.

"Stop your fucking whining and stay still!" He snapped, narrowing his eyes.

You bared your teeth, snapping at him aggressively.

A round of mocking chuckles went around the group of your kidnappers, the one holding your hair giving you a wicked grin. "Shit, that was cute. Really—"

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because his head exploded. Literally exploded, blood and brain matter dripping from your face. His hand went slack, dropping you on your wobbling knees.

Everyone was silent for a second, staring at the bloody mess where the demon was standing two seconds prior.

And that was when you heard it. Static. Loud, crackling and ominous.

Your mouth went dry. Shit. Shitty shit shit. You knew what that meant. How could you not? The asshole broadcasted his killings all over hell like a fucking psychopath. And now, it was your turn to become hell's gory entertainment. Fan-fucking-tastic.

You stood frozen, breath stuck in your throat as dark, menacing tendrils slowly curled along the walls. A large, grinning shadow rounded the corner, before the culprit himself stalked into view, razor sharp teeth on display as he tilted his head. "Oh," his grin widened. "Am I interrupting?"

"N-No man," one of the braver demons stuttered, taking a step back. "You can have her—"

Splat.

You turned slowly to face the bloody wall, eyes wide in disbelief.

"How distasteful," the radio demon shook his head. "As if I'd participate in your brainless thuggery. No, no. Unlike you gentlemen, I have class. Truly," his eyes lit up like glowing radio dials, a dark shadowy mass rising behind him as his antlers branched out like a gnarled, rotten tree. "Did your mother never teach you any manners?"

Faster than you could blink, the demons around you were reduced to blood, cartilage and splintered bone. The overwhelming irony scent made you want to gag, but you didn't dare move a muscle, eyes fixated on the terrifying sight before you.

When the radio demon noticed your staring, his smile sharpened, antlers shrinking as he leisurely approached you. Oh no. Nononono.

You struggled to keep from hyperventilating, your body going into shock as he leaned into your personal space. Two bloody fingers pushed into your cheeks, forcing your mouth into a morbid, artificial smile. "Oh dear," he tutted in amusement. "Where's your smile?"

You jerked back violently, eyes wide as icy cold realization washed over you. Dread squeezed your lungs as you stared at the grinning, bloody figure of your soulmate in horror.

The radio demon. Psychopath and mass murderer.

Your soulmate.

What the FUCK.

"T-This," your voice shook. "This is not happening."

There was a sudden screech of radio static, before his own eyes widened. Shit. "What," he said sharply. "Did you just say?"

"A-Ah," you trembled, leaning back. Every single nerve in your body was alight, screaming at you to get the ever-loving fuck away from him.  In what was probably the stupidest and most desperate plan of your life, you pointed over his shoulder fearfully. "Look! Another one!"

As soon as he turned his head, you bolted down the street.

****

You slammed your front door closed behind you, double—triple checking your lock before sliding down to the floor in a panting mess.

Immediately you grew paranoid. What the fuck were you thinking? A lock wouldn't keep the radio demon out. You needed fifty more locks and ten more doors. You needed to barricade yourself inside for the next month. You needed—

"Hello there!" An exuberant voice chirped.

You screamed, throwing the first thing you could grab in his direction. He caught the house slipper, inspecting it in amusement, before tossing it over his shoulder.

"My, did I scare you sweetheart? Apologies," he grinned smugly, relaxing in your recliner with a mug of coffee. Your favorite mug.  

You blinked. What the fuck?

"What are you doing in my house?" You squeaked, fingers digging into your welcome mat.

"Oh dear, allow me to introduce myself," he set the mug down on your coffee table, leisurely rising from the couch and offering a hand. "I'm Alastor! A pleasure to be meeting you sweetheart, quite a pleasure."

You didn't take his hand, instead choosing to gape at him like a dead fish.

He retracted his hand, tilting his head with a shit-eating grin. Twirling his cane, he continued like there wasn't just an awkward and terrifying pause. "I hope you don't mind that I followed you! You see, I believe our conversation was cut a bit...short." His eyes glowed as unidentifiable symbols floated in the air around him.

As quickly as they appeared however, they disappeared like they were never there. Jesus Christ, this man was giving you emotional whiplash. "Anywho!" He perked up again, ever the charming grin on his face. "Enough about me! I've yet to catch your name, darling."

Fuck. You really didn't want to give him your name.

But before you could open your mouth, he leaned closer to you, grin widening ominously. "I hope you're not thinking of lying, my dear. I must say, I'm not very fond of that quality."

"Y-Y/n!" You said quickly, raising your hands to shield your face.

There was a slight pause, before a gentle touch swiped at your cheek, retracting after a moment. You peeked your eye open, only to become vaguely ill at the sight.

"You had a little something on your face," he chuckled in amusement, holding out a clump of brain matter. With a swift flick, it was magicked away.

"What do you want?" You whimpered, overwhelmed with the entire situation.

"Oh dear, is it really that strange for me to want to get to know my soulmate?" He tilted his head, leaning towards you uncomfortably close.

"Y-Yes, actually," you stuttered, trying to look anywhere but his prominent red eyes. "I thought you'd do something more along the lines of...killing and eating me." You shrunk back as his grin widened. "Please don't eat me."

"How morbid, I would never!" He waved it away, like the idea was preposterous. "My word! What awful rumors you've been hearing about me!"

"You frequent cannibal colony and I just saw you tear apart six demons like they were freshly baked bread," you stared at him incredulously. "What hasn't been spot on?"

He paused, before giving you a humoring chuckle. "Well it seems your impression of me needs correcting!" Before you knew what was happening, nimble fingers encircled your wrist, pulling it forward gently. He pressed warm lips to the back of your hand, before giving you a charming grin. "Enchantée, ma chère."

You blinked, breath stuck in your throat. "What—What does that mean?"

"Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about it!" He gently set your hand down, before pinching your cheek condescendingly. "Well my dear, I'm afraid I have other responsibilities I must attend to!"

He stood up with a flourish, leaning on his microphone cane as he smirked at you. "Not to worry!" He snapped his fingers, and a slim, feminine shadow emerged from the ground. "Missy here will watch over you in my stead."

"What? No, I—"

"I'll be back before you know it!" He offered a chilling smile, before melting into a puddle of shadows.

You gaped at the spot where he once stood, trying to process what the actual fuck just happened. Your gaze slid over to the feminine looking shadow, still standing in the corner of your living room. She grinned at your attention, teeth sharpened.

You closed your eyes, head thumping back against your door in exhaustion. 

"I'm so fucked."

****

Enchantée, ma chère : Charmed, my dear

[headspace-hotel]

I want to make people see how much has been taken away from them.

Did you know that there are dozens of species of fireflies, and some of them light up with a blue glow? Did you know about the moths? There are thousands of them, bright pink and raspberry orange and checkerboard and emerald. They are called things like Black-Etched Prominent, Purple Fairy, Pink-Legged Tiger, Small Mossy Glyph and Black-Bordered Lemon.

Did you know that there are moths that feed on lichens? Did you know about the blue and green bees? The rainbow-colored dogbane beetles? Your streams are supposed to teem with newts, salamanders, crawdads, frogs, and fishes. I want to take you by the hand and show you an animal you've never seen before, and say, "This exists! It's real! It's alive!"

There are secret wildflowers that no website will show you and that no list entitled "native species to attract butterflies!" will name. Every day I'm at work I see a new plant I didn't know existed.

The purple coneflowers and prairie blazing star are a tidepool, a puddle, and there is an ocean out there. There are wildflowers that only grow in a few specific counties in a single state in the United States, there are plants that are evolved specifically to live underneath the drip line of a dolomite cliff or on the border of a glade of exposed limestone bedrock. Did you know that different species of moss grow on the sides of a boulder vs. on top of it?

There are obscure trees you might have never seen—Sourwood, Yellowwood, Overcup Oak, Ninebark, Mountain Stewartia, Striped Maple, American Hophornbeam, Rusty Blackhaw, Kentucky Coffeetree. There are edible fruits you've never even heard of.

And it is so scary and sad that so many people live and work in environments where most of these wondrous living things have been locally extirpated.

There are vast tracts of suburb and town and city and barren pasture where a person could plausibly never learn of the existence of the vast majority of their native plants and animals, where a person might never imagine just how many there are, because they've only ever been exposed to the tiny handful of living things that can survive in a suburb and they have no reason to extrapolate that there are ten thousand more that no one is talking about.

It's like being a fish that has lived its whole life in a bucket, with no way of imagining the ocean. The insects in your field guide are a fraction of those that exist, of all the native plants to your area only a handful can be bought in a nursery.

Welcome to the Earth! It's beautiful! It's full of life! More things are real and beautiful and alive than a single person could imagine!!!