#how fun would it be to see danny teaching tim how to use his powers and taking him to the infinite realms for the first time

[flwrkid14]

Ghosts of Gotham: Tim Drake is a Halfa

Danny wasn’t exactly sure what he expected when he met Gotham’s infamous vigilantes, but “Red Hood smells like death and swamp water had a baby” definitely wasn’t on the list. The moment he stepped into the room, Danny gagged so hard he nearly fell out of the air.

“Holy Ancients,” he wheezed, covering his nose. “What in the name of all things unholy is that?”

Jason, already not thrilled about the random glowing stranger showing up, tilted his helmeted head. “What’s what?”

“That! You! You smell like—oh, man. I can’t even describe it.” Danny waved his hand in front of his face like it might help. “It’s like if ectoplasm went rancid and then you rolled in it for three days straight. Dude, do you know what’s going on with your ecto-situation?”

Jason took a threatening step forward. “You wanna say that again?”

Danny floated higher, clearly not intimidated. “Oh, I’ll say it again. You stink. And not just like regular stink. Like ghost stink. Like, ‘this is a health code violation, and the Ghost Zone is going to fine you’ stink. How are you even standing there right now? Anyone from Amity Park would be side-eyeing you so hard you’d feel it in your soul—what’s left of it, anyway.”

Jason stared, his body language radiating murderous intent. “You are two seconds away from eating pavement, Casper.”

Danny, unbothered, pointed at his own chest. “Excuse me, Phantom. Casper wishes he could pull this look off.”

“Phantom,” Dick interrupted, trying and failing not to laugh, “maybe we could focus on the introductions first?”

Danny gave Jason one last look of pity and floated down. “Fine, fine. But seriously, Big Red, we’re going to have to talk about that. I’ll fix it later. No need to thank me.”

Jason looked ready to commit murder, but Bruce’s glare cut him off before he could say anything.

Once the chaos settled, introductions were exchanged, and things calmed down—relatively speaking. Danny, as it turned out, was impossible to fully calm down. He buzzed around the room like he had endless energy, chatting and throwing out quips that seemed to simultaneously amuse and irritate everyone.

Then Danny’s gaze landed on Red Robin, and everything shifted.

Danny tilted his head, his glowing green eyes narrowing slightly. For a moment, his usual chaos quieted, curiosity taking over. “Huh,” he said softly, almost to himself.

Tim stiffened, his body going taut as though preparing for impact.

Danny floated closer, peering at him with an unnervingly intense expression. “You’re like me.”

Tim’s heart skipped a beat, and he immediately stepped back, his movements sharp and jerky. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do,” Danny said, and his tone was too soft for the others to hear the shift in it. “You’re like me. You’re—”

Tim’s hand twitched at his side, as though debating whether to reach for something or retreat entirely. “Don’t,” he said sharply, his voice low.

Danny blinked, then realization dawned on his face. “Wait… they don’t know, do they?”

“What don’t we know?” Bruce cut in, his voice sharp with suspicion.

Danny ignored him, his gaze locked on Tim. “Oh, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t—”

Tim’s eyes darted toward Danny, his frown deepening as uncertainty clouded his features. He shifted his weight, his fingers twitching at his sides as if fighting the urge to bolt.

He took a step back, then another, his movements slow and almost imperceptible. His breathing quickened, shallow and uneven, as though the air itself had grown heavier. The space around him seemed to shimmer faintly, a distortion that matched the anxiety rippling across his face.

Danny reached out, concern etched in his expression, but Tim flinched. His lips parted as if to say something, but no words came. Instead, the shimmering intensified, and with each passing second, Tim grew more translucent, his form fading like a mirage under the moon.

By the time Danny blinked, Tim was gone, leaving only a faint disturbance in the air where he had been.

The bats froze, their eyes darting around the room.

“What the hell just happened?” Jason demanded, reaching for his guns. “Where’d he go?”

“Did you do something?” Damian snapped at Danny, his hand already on his katana.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Danny held up his hands, his eyes wide with excitement. “Not me! That was all him! Holy Ancients—he can turn invisible?!” A grin split his face as he practically vibrated in place. “This is awesome! Wait—does he shoot ecto-beams too? Or, oh, what if he’s got some crazy transformation I’ve never even seen before? This just keeps getting better!”

Bruce’s expression darkened. “You need to explain. Now.”

Danny sighed, his excitement fading as realization set in. “Okay, but first, I need to go find him. Because if he’s anything like me, he’s probably freaking out right now. So… bye!”

He phased through the floor before anyone could stop him.

———

Danny found Tim perched on the edge of Wayne Industries, staring out at the Gotham skyline. He floated over cautiously, his boots touching down softly on the rooftop.

“Hey,” Danny said, his voice quiet. “Mind if I sit?”

Tim didn’t respond, but he didn’t tell him to leave either, so Danny took that as permission. He sat down cross-legged, giving Tim some space.

They stayed like that for a while, the silence heavy but not unbearable.

Finally, Danny broke it. “Okay, so… not to ruin the moment, but can we talk about how you've had to endure Jason’s ecto-stench this entire time? Because seriously, that’s gotta be a health violation. I mean, I'm half-dead, and even I think it’s concerning. Someone needs to dunk him in a pool of purified ectoplasm or something. I’m gonna file a complaint with—”

Tim laughed. It was soft and brief, but it was real.

Danny grinned, leaning back on his hands. “There it is. I knew you had a laugh in there somewhere.”

Tim sighed, his shoulders loosening slightly. “You’re… a lot,” he admitted.

“I know,” Danny said proudly. “But I grow on people. Like mold. Or fungus.”

Tim huffed another laugh, shaking his head. For a moment, the tension eased, and Danny let the silence settle again before speaking more seriously.

“Look,” Danny said, his voice softer, “I’m sorry I outed you like that. I didn’t know. And if they give you crap about it, I’ll personally make their lives miserable. But… you’re not alone in this, okay? I mean, yeah, it sucks. A lot. But you’ve got me now, because there’s no way we’re not becoming best friends now, and I get it.”

Tim looked at him, his eyes glassy but steady. “Thanks,” he said quietly. He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Do you really get it? I mean, you know what it’s like to…” His voice trailed off, thick with hesitation.

Danny tilted his head, his tone softer now. “Yeah. I know what it’s like.”

Tim let out a breath, shaky but determined. “I died.. a few months ago.”

Danny blinked but didn’t say anything, giving Tim space to continue.

“Harley—she caught me. Took me, actually. I was gone for weeks. They—she—handed me over to Joker. It was like a… gift. She thought it’d fix their relationship or something, I don’t know.” Tim’s voice faltered, his gaze flickering to the floor as if the memories were too much to hold. “I held out as long as I could. I kept fighting, kept trying to survive, but…”

He shook his head, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. “Weeks of it. Beatings. Electrocutions. I don’t even remember the exact moment my heart stopped. I just… wasn’t there anymore.”

Danny stayed quiet, his face a mix of empathy and understanding.

“Harley panicked,” Tim continued, his words tumbling out like a confession. “She thought she’d gone too far, that Joker would kill her next. So she tried shocking me back. Guess she half-suceeded? I only came back halfway.” He gestured at himself vaguely, his hands trembling. “I’m not the same. I’m not… whole.”

Danny nodded slowly. "You’re stuck between," he said, offering the words with quiet reassurance.

Tim nodded, biting his lip. “Yeah. Between.” He paused, looking up at Danny. “I haven’t told anyone because… how do you tell them something like that? How do you tell your family you’re not really alive? That their search was all in vain? That I still died, even though they looked so hard for me? I can’t make them think they failed.” His voice wavered. “They were so scared when they found me…”

Danny stayed with him in the silence, his presence a steady comfort.

Tim exhaled slowly, rubbing his face. “I thought I was weak. I thought if I told them what really happened, they’d think I was broken. And I didn’t want to be a burden.” He looked up at Danny. “I’m still not used to this. Not used to being… like this. I don’t even know how to control it—sometimes I phase through walls, other times I get stuck halfway. And the invisibility thing… I can’t even make it work without disappearing when I get too emotional.”

Danny’s gaze softened with understanding as he leaned in slightly, his voice steady but gentle. He hummed thoughtfully, “It’s a lot to handle all at once.”

Tim's shoulders slumped as he leaned closer to Danny, “I’ve been trying to figure out how to control it, but every time I get close, something goes wrong. And I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak or… freakish, so I kept pretending everything was fine. It was easier that way. Easier than explaining… all this.” He exhaled slowly, the exhaustion in his voice evident. “At least it was… until you showed up.”

Danny reached out, resting a hand on Tim’s arm in a quiet gesture of comfort. “I don’t think you’re a freak. You’re just different, like me. But that doesn’t make you broken. You’re still you.” He paused, meeting Tim’s gaze. “I know what it’s like.. to feel different, freakish, the whole nine yards. For what it’s worth? You're handling it a lot better than I did.”

Tim gave him a tight smile, the first real one in a while. “Thanks. It helps. More than you know.”

———

When they returned to the Batcave, Tim sat down with the others, Danny sticking close by his side. Tim took a deep breath and told them everything—about being captured by Harley, the weeks of torture at the Joker’s hands, the electrocutions that had stopped his heart. About how Harley had panicked and shocked him back to life, halfway. How he wasn’t entirely human anymore.

The family listened, their expressions ranging from horror to guilt to anger. Jason looked ready to kill someone, and Bruce’s usually stoic face betrayed a crack of regret. Tim hesitated as he explained why he hadn’t told them sooner, his voice faltering but honest.

Tim’s voice cracked slightly as he spoke, “I didn’t want you to think you failed… that you searched for me for nothing,"

Danny stayed quiet but stayed close, resting a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “For the record,” he said, glaring at the others, “if any of you give him crap about this, you’re gonna have to deal with me. And trust me, I will make your lives miserable.”

Tim gave him a small, grateful smile. For the first time, he didn’t feel quite so alone.

[supercasey]

this is a weird af question i'm sure but what would the avatar kids be like if they hadn't ran away to the institute/not realized how messed up their upbringings were?

Oooooooo, now THIS will be fun to answer ((tbh, this has been on my mind for awhile now, so thanks for the excuse to infodump))!!! I’m gonna try doing stuff for ALL the kids, but it’ll be a bit hard considering the fact that most of them are so unlikely to actually submit to their avatardom.

Jonathan Sims: His destiny is a bit of a toss-up, since it depends on which of his parents’ teachings he would end up following. If he takes more after Elias, he’ll end up becoming the perfect Eye avatar anyone could ask for; an endless slew of information and knowledge, not to mention loyal to his patron and his father. If he ends up following in Gertrude’s footsteps though, he’ll use his powers much more sparingly as he grows older and be about 40% more likely to get arrested for arson.

Martin Blackwood: This is going off of the idea that the Lonely’s first big ritual involving him actually worked, otherwise the only other option would’ve been Peter not rescuing him, in which case he would’ve disappeared forever into the fog. In this scenario however, the Lonely accepts Martin as a more physical vessel for itself, and he continues on as a more or less lifeless husk that just swallows everything in it’s sight. Very sad all around.

Tim Stoker: In the event that he never runs away, Tim would complete his training as a dancer and allow the circus to change him into something barely resembling a human anymore (I haven’t actually listened to much of The Mechanisms, but maybe he’d look something like the Tim toy soldier guy??? I like him). He's Danny’s right hand man, as well as the circus’ muscle when things get particularly dicey.

Danny Stoker: He would’ve ended up very spoiled and damn near as conniving as Sasha; takes a lot after Nikola and makes her proud at every opportunity, making him a bit of a mama’s boy. Would be an incredible ringmaster, praying primarily on those attending the circus with their family members (especially sets of siblings). Becomes much more powerful overtime, almost completely growing into a monster in the process.

Sasha James: An absolute master of manipulation and trickery, using her hacking skills to start the Web down a path of internet fraud and impersonation on a massive scale. Ends up being rivals with Eye!Jon, leading to them having a very Spy vs Spy dynamic that’s this close to them becoming friends, but alas, their parents hate each other and they know it. Ten times smarter than anyone else belonging to the Web.

Melanie King: Say hello to Grifter’s Bone’s new lead bassist and singer! She takes up the mantle by the time she’s thirteen or so, putting a more young punk spin on the band’s music, which draws in younger victims for the Slaughter’s influence. Has a thousand something knives on her at one time, and has a hard time not joining in on the riots the band starts.

Julia Montauk: In the event that Trevor can’t keep her from succumbing to the Hunt’s influence, she becomes a brutal, violent creature that stays primarily in her Hunt form, only turning human when she wants to draw out a hunt/trick people into thinking she’s one of them. If things go really bad, she ends up killing Trevor at some point to prove she’s stronger than him (and immediately regretting it).

Alice “Daisy” Tonner: I feel like her fall would be similar to canon, with either Trevor never finding her, which leads her to follow her canon path, or she joins Julia in fighting back against Trevor’s desire to save them, eventually running away to hunt on her own and become a fully fledged werewolf. Unlike Julia, she never turns human after a certain point, and eventually she goes on to kill Julia after she crosses into her territory.

Oliver Banks: I honestly have very few ideas on how he would end up in this sort of AU, seeing as he’s kinda already on a path that’s very aligned with the End’s influence, but if he completely gave in and did whatever it wanted, he’d probably become something akin to a grim reaper, stalking people in their dreams and making sure they’ll die the way they’re fated to. Might take an apprenticeship under Nathaniel Throp.

Georgie Barker: Similar to Oliver, I’m not 100% sure what to do for her. I feel like the Admiral is what’s keeping her from falling, so without him she’d definitely become a completely fearless and relentless avatar of the End, carrying out similar death sentences to Oliver, except she actually makes more people die than is necessary. If Jon follows Gertrude’s teachings in this scenario, then he starts trying to help her escape her powers.

Mike Crew: He’s kinda already becoming a fully fledged avatar of the Vast, but like Oliver, I can see him going further than he has. He’d be almost exactly like his canon self, except he’d have a much harder time blending in with modern society, relying on his connection to Simon and the rest of the Fairchild family for help getting by. If he ended up getting abandoned though, he might become more lonely over time... 👀👀👀 Martin could certainly use a “friend”

Helen Richardson: Seeing as Michael and Gertrude finding her is what’s essentially saved her already (I imagine she’ll still have Spiral powers for the rest of her life, but she could never become an avatar later on in the CA AU while she’s being raised by Michael), in this scenario she’s never rescued, and she either dies in the Spiral due to neglect, or she becomes similar to Martin, acting as a mere vessel for her patron.

Jane Prentiss: I’m still a bit iffy on how to write Jane, seeing as I added her after the AU was already kinda started (and also because I don’t remember much about her from S1), but I imagine without Adelard saving her, she would’ve eventually left Amherst to be raised by the Corruption in a more direct fashion, making her like Helen and Martin, but with more free will than them.

So all in all, Jon vs Sasha would be a big conflict with the Stoker Brothers occasionally getting involved just so they can Cause Problems On Purpose, Martin, Helen, and Jane are the resident “ghosts” that haunt everyone, Julia and Daisy are feral, Mike can’t cope with this shit, Georgie and Oliver are essentially grim reapers, and Melanie is the only motherfucker having any fun.

These are some very sad/unfortunate scenarios, huh? At least this is all speculative and in no way canon to the CA AU as a whole; it’s just a fun lil’ idea to think about! Thanks so much for the ask, Anon!

[junker-town]

The best and worst awards for the golden era of kids sports movies

The early 90s gave us classics like The Mighty Ducks, Little Giants, and The Sandlot. | Disney, WB, 20th Century Fox / SB Nation illustration

“Little Giants” closed out a two-year run unlike any other in kids sports movies. Here’s the best and worst from that time!

It’s fitting that we’re celebrating the anniversary of Little Giants this week. When it was released in October 1994, it marked the close of a golden era of kids sports movies. From 1992 to 1994, seven of these movies were released, and all are remembered fondly by anybody who was in middle or elementary school at the time.

The list of movies that came out over the course of 24 months is a murderers’ row of classics:

October 2, 1992: The Mighty Ducks April 7, 1993: The Sandlot July 7, 1993: Rookie of the Year March 25, 1994: D2: The Mighty Ducks June 29, 1994: Little Big League July 15, 1994: Angels in the Outfield October 14, 1994: Little Giants

Some will argue for inclusion of The Big Green in 1995 and Air Bud in 1997. I’m pretty sure nobody will argue for the third Mighty Ducks movie in 1996 or Ladybugs in early 1992. The first two are solid considerations, but I’ll stick with that tight 24-month period from October 1992 to October 1994.

With that in mind, I thought I’d offer up some entirely subjective awards for the best and worst aspects of these seven movies.

The Franchise: The Mighty Ducks

The only one of these to spawn a sequel, and of course the only one to spawn an actual sports franchise! The lead was noted Brat Packer Emilio Estevez, in his first big movie that allowed him to break out as an adult star. However, much like Little Giants, the kids were the key to building out the story. The movie followed the numerous tropes that come from a great sports movie:

1. Gordon Bombay provided the heroic redemption often required in these kinds of movies — although more on the realities of that later.

2. Sports movies regularly involve underdogs overcoming long odds, and we saw this in both of the movies.* In the first, a pee-wee hockey team had to beat the superiorly talented team led by Bombay’s former coach. In the second, an all-star team of Ducks had to beat heavily favored Iceland in the Junior Goodwill Games. Both made for good storylines, even if I’m not sure how they decided on Iceland being the hockey power.

*D3 did happen, but a) it fell out of this time period, and b) it really wasn’t particularly good.

3. They put together fun climactic scenes. Regardless of what you think of the triple deke as a real hockey move, it made for a thrilling conclusion to the first movie. And considering how exciting a shootout can be, I would argue the close to the second movie exceeded that of the first one.

Best story: Little Giants

Every one of these movies features a great story arc. Some are a little more realistic, some are a little more fun, but they all provide a compelling story. And yet, it’s Little Giants that remains my favorite narrative.

The David vs. Goliath story is a classic one, and they did it wonderfully in this one. There wasn’t just the pee-wee football teams, but you also had the big brother-little brother story with Ed O’Neill and Rick Moranis (superbly cast). O’Neill made his name as Al Bundy in Married with Children, but looking back, his Kevin O’Shea character seems like a precursor to his Jay Pritchett role in Modern Family. On the other hand, Moranis’ character history is summed up perfectly as Danny O’Shea, and it’s impossible not to root for him.

We also get what at the time was a bit of a forward-thinking storyline with Becky “Icebox” O’Shea, Danny’s daughter. She is the best football player, but she gets cut during Cowboys tryouts. So she rounds up a group of less talented kids and convinces her dad to coach them as the Giants. Later, we see Becky becoming a cheerleader thinking that’s how she can impress a boy, and then returning to play in the big game and shutting down the villainous Spike Hammersmith. The movie did an excellent job flipping a trope on its head.

Classic: The Sandlot

Baseball is fighting football for the heart of America, and so feelings on this movie might be changing. But as a kid growing up when this movie came out, it spoke to me. It’s about neighborhood kids playing baseball. The most popular kid in the neighborhood befriends the nerdy new kid, and they along, with a group of other kids, have adventures surrounding baseball. It’s just a perfect movie about baseball as a kid.

And of course, nobody will ever forget, “You’re killing me, Smalls!”

Most unlikely scenario: Little Big League, Rookie of the Year, Angels in the Outfield

There’s plenty unrealistic in most Hollywood movies, but these three play on the fantastic — to entertaining effect. Which of these three is most fantastic?

Little Big League: A sports owner dies and leaves the team to his 12-year-old grandson. The grandson is a baseball nut who eventually fires the manager (played by Dennis Farina, who does not drop a single f-bomb, so you know it’s fantasy) and takes over in his role. The last-place team turns things around while regaining their joy for the game, before losing in a one-game playoff. Oh, and early ‘90s Ken Griffey, Jr. is kind of a villain in the movie.

Rookie of the Year: A middle schooler breaks a bone in his upper arm and after healing, he can throw a 100-mph fastball. He signs with the Cubs, and along the way, his mom’s boyfriend tries to trick her into getting him traded to the New York Yankees.

Angels in the Outfield: Actual angels help the then-Anaheim Angels get to the World Series.

I would accept arguments for any of these three being the most absurd.

Worst hero: Gordon Bombay

I get that movies need a redemption story, but man, c’mon! An arrogant lawyer gets pulled over for a DUI, and his punishment is community service that involves coaching a local pee-wee hockey team. When the team gets pummeled in its first game against Bombay’s old pee-wee coach, he decides to teach them how to dive and draw penalties.

In the sequel, Coach Bombay becomes enamored by the Hollywood life during the Junior Goodwill Games. When the team gets pummeled by Iceland because Bombay did not prepare the players well enough, he makes them do an excessive amount of sprints immediately after the game. He even goes on a date with the Iceland trainer the night before his team gets thumped in its first match with the hockey heavyweights!

The guy repeatedly left his team hanging, so it’s hard to entirely buy the redemption angle when he was the one putting himself in that situation. And frankly, anybody who pitches the Air Bombay loafer to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar when he should be preparing his team gets docked a whole lot of points.

Best villain: Coach Reilly, The Mighty Ducks

Reilly, played by Lane Smith, coached Gordon Bombay as a kid. Bombay lost his dad, and in the championship game he missed a penalty shot that cost his team. Coach Reilly expressed considerable disappointment in him. Considering Bombay was dealing the loss of his dad, that’s pretty incredible balls on Reilly.

Twenty years later, when Bombay takes over as coach of another team in the league, Reilly is STILL pissed about it snapping his championship streak. Naturally, Bombay’s team faces Reilly’s team in the championship game. Reilly orders one of his players to injure the star on the other team. We’re talking John Kreese from Karate Kid-type villain.

Worst villain: Ken Griffey, Jr., Little Big League

You could argue there really wasn’t a full-on villain in Little Big League. Billy fired Dennis Farina, who was underrated in his role as the Twins arrogant manager. Billy got a big head at times, so it was more about the transition he made. But the movie ended with Griffey snuffing out the Twins’ chances in the one-game playoff.

The fact that early 90s Griffey, one of the most popular players in baseball history, was brought in as a villain still ruffles my feathers. I suppose one argument would be that since Billy’s Twins were going to lose, you wouldn’t want it happening to a complete dick. But did they also have to do Jr. dirty like they did on this phantom pickoff play?

Best cameo: Little Giants players visited by NFL players and John Madden

John Madden, Emmitt Smith, Bruce Smith, Tim Brown, and Steve Emtman show up before the big game against the Cowboys. They’re headed to Canton for a banquet and get lost in Urbania. I have a lot of questions about this, but obviously we have to roll with the punches.

Each of the players and Madden offer up lessons to get the players ready for the game:

Steve Emtman gets Zolteck fired up and ready to run over the Cowboys.

Emmitt Smith inspires the kids to succeed even if they’re not the biggest or the fastest or the smartest.

John Madden works with Nubie to tweak the Annexation of Puerto Rico play design.

Bruce Smith offers lessons in intimidation.

For some reason, Tim Brown shows up and leaves, but doesn’t get his own scene with the kids. Maybe it’s part of the deleted scenes.

Best musical montage: “Runaround Sue,” Little Big League

Most team sports movies have a montage scene when things are going well. If I’m flipping through my TV and I hear “Runaround Sue,” I know it’s time to settle in for Little Big League.

Worst in-game tactician: Kevin O’Shea, Little Giants

I appreciate that Kevin is the local hero and knows football, but he really was an awful coach. Christian D’Andrea went into great detail on how bad a coach he was, but simply put, his ego far exceeds his skill as a coach. How else do you recognize the opponent has predicted your play and still not call an audible from the sideline? It really was a matter of ego costing his team the victory.

Best coach: Mac Macnally, Little Big League

Pitching coach (and effective bench coach) Mac Macnally was the opposite of Kevin O’Shea when it came to ego. Shortly after 12-year-old Billy Heywood took over as owner of the Minnesota Twins, he fired manager George O’Farrell and with the help of his buddies decides he should take over. He takes the decision to Mac and the team’s general manager. He has Mac test him on situational baseball and offers a clear-cut answer and Mac acknowledges Billy is a superior baseball mind.

Either this is the greatest show of selflessness you can expect, or Mac lost his mind in agreeing to let a 12-year-old manage the Twins. Considering the team’s turnaround, I’ll give Mac credit. And of course, he got to take over as manager the next season after Billy stepped down after the one-game playoff loss to finish up middle school. Selfless and savvy!

Worst play in a climactic scene: Triple deke, The floater

I get that there is a certain suspension of disbelief when it comes to movies. The Mighty Ducks and Rookie of the Year set up incredible tension for their climactic scenes, and I felt like they let us down in the end.

In the original Mighty Ducks movie, the Ducks are facing the Hawks and it goes to a penalty shot for all the marbles. The youthful hero, Charlie (Joshua Jackson), is in the same position Coach Bombay was in 20 years earlier. Bombay’s big move that he taught to Charlie was the triple deke. It’s a move that I’m fairly certain would not amount to anything but a laughing goalie in real hockey. Naturally, Charlie succeeds with the move.

In Rookie of the Year, Henry Rowengartner and his 100-mph fastball are a key to the Cubs turning their season around. They face the New York Mets in a one-game playoff for the division title and he comes on in relief for his mentor, Chet “Rocket” Steadman. After striking out six straight batters, he heads onto the field to start the ninth but slips on a baseball. He lands awkwardly, and when he gets up he can no longer throw the gas. He and the Cubs use trick plays to get the first two outs, but then faces his nemesis, “Heddo.” Henry strikes him out using a floater pitcher inspired by his mom, who was a standout softball pitcher back in the day. I appreciate the story arc, but for a finisher, really?

Best climactic scene: The Annexation of Puerto Rico, Little Giants

Each of these movies involved some kind of suspense in the big climactic scene, but none offered the kind of realistic absurdity of the final play that spoiler alert won the game for the Little Giants. The play was effectively the fumblerooski and as noted in the movie — in a conversation between Nubie and John Madden — was cribbed from a similar play from Madden’s Super Bowl XI victory over the Minnesota Vikings.

The Giants fell behind 21-0 after Becky spent the first half serving as a cheerleader. Danny gives the players an inspirational speech that results in them getting back into the game. As the Giants are coming back, Becky decides to dump the pompoms after Spike Hammersmith illegally spears Junior Floyd. She immediately impacts the game and the Giants are able to tie it up. The Cowboys move down to a goal to go situation, but Icebox stops Spike short of the goal line.

That leads to one of the truly great plays in movie sports history. Quarterback Junior Floyd takes the snap and immediately puts the ball down. He then starts a fake reverse, and as Spike tackles Icebox without the ball, Rudy Zoltek has picked it up and taken off down the field.

Naturally, the Cowboys track him down and he throws the ball up for grabs behind him and Junior catches it. The Cowboys get to him, and right before they tackle him, he tosses the ball to Jake Berman. The little guy manages to take it to the house for the game-winning touchdown.

I can rewatch this movie over and over, and that scene still gives me goosebumps.

[localdstvinstaller]

From Tim Burton’s iconic Batman to the baseball-bat swinging Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad, DC Comics superheroes and their villainous counterparts have been lighting up the box office since the 50s. With the launch of the M-Net Movies DC Heroes pop-up channel for DStv Premium subscribers, which is also available to stream on DStv Now, we’ve ranked every live-action DC comic movie ever!*

30. Stamp Day for Superman (1954)

Superman takes time from fighting crime to promote war stamps, used to fund the fight against the Axis powers of World War II. So it’s not the worst movie on this list, but it’s not actually a movie either - just something designed to be shown in cinemas.

29. The Return of Swamp Thing (1989)

This movie had about as much budget as the Joker has sanity. With that in mind, it does a respectable job. But only with that in mind - otherwise, this is just an awful low-budget monstrosity.

28. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Everyone had lost interest in making another Superman. But they were contracted to make one, so we got a fourth movie starring the man of steel. Its most memorable moment is how bad the special effects of the finale are. Yikes.

27. Catwoman (2004)

The first Batman character to get their own movie (other than Bats), there was a lot of hope for Catwoman’s maiden outing. Alas, very little is right here. It opted to invent its own story for the character, but just made a mess of everything. Not even Halle Berry could save it.

26. Batman & Robin (1997)

This movie shouldn’t be ranked so low. It’s funny and has some entertaining villains. But you know what? The entire thing was motivated to sell action figures. Seriously. Even the director apologised for it.

25. Steel (1997)

Back in 1997 nobody wanted to make comic book movies, not unless it was Batman. Steel, already a B-list DC character, got a low-budget straight-to-video movie. It doesn’t help that Shaq, who plays Steel, is not as good at acting as he is at basketball…

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24. Jonah Hex (2010)

If comic book movies teach us anything, it’s that actors should stick to the genre. It worked for Ryan Reynolds, Chris Evans and Ben Affleck. Ditto for Josh Brolin, who has portrayed three comic book characters. But even though he was a cool Jonah Hex, the movie not so much…

23. Green Lantern (2011)

Some comic characters are relatively simple and easy to put into a movie. Green Lantern is not, yet this movie wanted to make things even more confusing. Even Ryan Reynolds started making fun of it in his other films.

22. Superman and the Mole Men (1951)

It’s the 1950s, things are still in black and white, and Superman has the time to work out squabbles between frightened small-town people and underground creatures with big eyebrows. Most memorable as the first Superman movie and perhaps the first-ever true superhero movie.

21. Batman: The Movie (1966)

Back in its day, this was a big hit. But it’s really a case of “you had to be there”. Shot after the success of Season 1 of Adam West’s Batman, it’s a whole movie of WHAM! BANG! POW! and 60s pin-up girls gyrating with the dark knight to surf music. No, we’re not making any of this up.

20. Superman III (1983)

Superman III would have been forgotten today, were it not for three things: the Superman vs Superman fight, Richard Pryor’s non-stop jokes, and that scary android woman created by Lex Luthor’s supercomputer. Oh, and Superman dumping a frozen lake on a chemical fire. Ah, the 80s.

19. Supergirl (1984)

Superman’s cousin comes to Earth to retrieve a powerful artefact, while a wannabe witch uses it to amplify her powers. The result is a weird tale that stumbles and jumps through plot holes, but it’s still entertaining. Fun fact: Supergirl actress Helen Slater later played Superman’s biological mom in Smallville.

18. Suicide Squad (2016)

It is overstuffed, convoluted and had some nondescript bad guys that nobody can remember. Too much icing on too little cake. On the other hand, the main cast of characters are really cool and the soundtrack rocked, so it has a place in some fans’ hearts.

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17. Swamp Thing (1982)

It’s the DC movie you’ve never heard of - and the DC character you’ve never heard of. This quirky comedy would have been lost to time, were it not a campy cult masterpiece directed by Wes Craven long before he created Freddy Krueger.

16. Batman Returns (1992)

Tim Burton’s second Batman film is a little overproduced and lacks that raw shine of the original. But Michelle Pfeiffer is still the best Catwoman to appear in a movie and Danny DeVito is the perfect Penguin. Yet leave it to Christopher Walken to play a villain with no mask and no powers, yet still be the meanest thing in Gotham.

15. Batman Forever (1995)

Joel Schumacher’s first go at the Batman world is a clear hat-tip to the 60s era of the character. It was more fun and camp, and who doesn’t like George Clooney’s smirking Bruce Wayne, or Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones as Riddler and Two-Face? But it was a little too much at times...

14. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

The hopes were really high for this film and it was never going to please everyone. Lex Luthor’s inane and complicated plan sucks a lot of wind from its sails. On the other hand, the Batman combat scene not only saves the movie but shows why Ben Affleck is great as the character.

13. Watchmen (2009)

There are very few graphic novels more revered and complex than this epic - and director Zack Snyder tries to fit every bit of it into his film. Yet even after cutting a major sub-plot, Watchmen is still a long and dense experience. It’s got its fans, but like the comic, is the antithesis of superheroes. That’s not for everyone.

12. Justice League (2017)

Justice League isn’t perfect and its biggest problem is an overly generic bad guy that nobody cares to remember. But the team works well together, the fight with Superman is epic, Jason Momoa was born to play Aquaman, and we definitely want to see more of The Flash.

11. Superman II (1980)

The sequel to the original Superman movie was mired with problems, from losing its director and design consultant to being filmed right on the heels of the first film. But it holds up well, not least because Terence Stamp’s General Zod gives us every reason to remember why we need superheroes.

10. Superman Returns (2006)

Lex Luthor proves why he is as dangerous as any villain with superpowers, while the darker tone helps create a Superman persona that fits better with the 21st Century.

9. The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

It gets a little tiring to hear how old and beaten Batman is and maybe Tom Hardy’s Bane does too good a job, overshadowing just about every other character in this movie. But as a conclusion to Christopher Nolan’s trilogy, this was a classy send-off for Gotham’s saviour.

8. Man of Steel (2013)

Not only do we finally, after many years, get a new Superman movie, but some inspired genius casts Michael Shannon as the evil General Zod. It’s been too long and we’re happy Krypton’s son is back!

7. Constantine (2005)

At the time it was not a hit. But the first movie adaptation of the Hellblazer comics has since gathered a big cult following. Today it can claim a lot of fans because it’s actually really good. Hey, Keanu, where’s our sequel?

6. Batman Begins (2005)

Since 1989’s Batman, there have been other superhero movies that made their mark on the genre. Then Christopher Nolan shows up, hires Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman, and turns comic book movies into crime thrillers. Brilliant.

5. Wonder Woman (2017)

A slightly weak third act doesn’t hurt the appeal of the Amazonian superhero in her first major movie outing. Let’s face it - nobody is panicking anymore about what might happen to Superman. Wonder Woman can take care of things.  

4. Superman (1978)

There had been a few superhero movies before 1978’s Superman. But this set the stage: big effects, great hero, amazing soundtrack - and Gene Hackman deserves more credit for his mean Lex Luthor.

3. Batman (1989)

Tim Burton unleashes his quirky style in grand form, creating the superhero movie that still influences the genre today. Then there’s Jack Nicholson’s Joker, Michael Keaton’s dry wit and the original soundtrack by Prince. Enough said!

2. V for Vendetta (2005)

This dark tale of a near future under a totalitarian state is already a gritty and powerful movie. But Hugo Weaving as the antihero V just takes it to another level. On top of that, this is an experience with real purpose and a serious message underneath. Remember, remember, the fifth of November...

1. The Dark Knight (2008)

Why so serious? Heath Ledger’s Joker is just entirely in his own league. And not just him - everything in this movie fires on all cylinders. The greatest DC movie? No. This is the greatest comic book movie in history.

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West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 3/10/17

  In movie news, a lot is going on with the Deadpool sequel. At the beginning of the week, it was reported that David Harbour of Netflix’s Stranger Things was being sought after for the role of Cable. While fans have wanted a bigger name, like Ron Perlman, Harbour is definitely gonna be cheaper, fitting right in with the movie’s budget. Meanwhile, it was reported that actress/singer Janelle Monae was the studio’s frontrunner for the role of Domino. Yesterday, however, Ryan Reynolds tweeted the above image, confirming that Atlanta‘s Zazie Beetz had gotten the role. I swear, with Donald Glover off Lando-ing in the Han Solo movie, and Zazie in Deadpool 2, Atlanta ain’t ever coming back. It’s already “on hiatus”, and I fear that it’s gonna be like Curb Your Enthusiasm – something Glover comes back to when he gets bored and has the time to do it. So, look for Atlanta season 2 in 2025.

In other movie news, the Valiant comic universe is getting closer to the big screen, as Dave Wilson has been tapped to direct the Bloodshot movie. Wilson comes from Blur Studio, known mainly for video game trailers, and co-founded by Deadpool director Tim Miller. If you don’t know anything about Bloodshot, you’re not alone. He looks like some kind of albino madman. From what I’ve read, he’s basically a zombie soldier who’s animated by nanites. I’ve never read a Bloodshot comic, though, so what do I know? Here’s where it gets interesting: there’s currently a webseries being made by Bat in the Sun called Ninjak vs The Valiant Universe. Starring Michael Rowe (Deadshot from the Arrowverse), the webseries pits the character of Ninjak against other characters in the Valiant Universe – where Bloodshot just happens to be portrayed by original Green Ranger, Jason David Frank. Now, JDF used to go to all of his convention appearances promoting the Power Rangers brand, but lately has been doing it dressed as Bloodshot. This project isn’t big enough to warrant that kind of dedication. No, I’m convinced he’s lobbying for the role in the big screen film. This is like when Sean Young used to go out in public dressed as Catwoman just so she’d get the role in Batman Returns. I don’t know whether to be impressed or saddened. I mean, he’s lobbying hard, but there’s no way he gets that role.

Though the news got sort of lost in the cycle last week, Nickelodeon announced that the new season of the 3D Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon, premiering March 19th, would be its last. After five years, the show is ditching its serialized approach and is rebranding into an anthology format with the new title Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Once the series ends, a new 2D cartoon, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, is slated to premiere in 2018.

In other TV news, folks are wondering if Glenn Howerton is leaving It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The show aired its 12th season finale this week, where we learned that Dennis had a son from a layover in North Dakota. At the end of the episode, he decides that he can’t carry on as he’d been doing the past 12 years, and that he needed to leave and go be with his son. This episode aired the same day it was reported that Howerton and Patton Oswalt had been cast as leads in an NBC pilot where Howerton plays an Ivy League professor who loses out on his dream job, and ends up teaching high school science. Currently known as AP Bio, the series is produced by Seth Meyers and Lorne Michaels, so I think it’s likely it’ll be picked up. Now, Kaitlin Olson currently juggles working on Sunny and The Mick, but Howerton has a bigger role on Sunny, as he also writes and produces. In an interview with Uproxx, though, Howerton said that he wasn’t sure if he was coming back. He said the decision doesn’t have anything to do with his relationships with the other cast members. Sunny still has two seasons ahead of it, but even Danny DeVito recently mentioned that he might be done soon, too. The show really matured this season, as a lot of plotlines came full circle. I don’t even know what they’ll do with 20 more episodes (their seasons tend to be 10 episodes long), but I definitely don’t know how they’d do it without the character of Dennis.

In comic news, Marvel announced that Astonishing X-Men would be returning in July, written by Charles Soule, with art by…unknown at the moment. If you remember, Astonishing X-Men debuted as a miniseries during the “Age of Apocalypse” story in the mid 90s, but its claim to fame was the ongoing series written by Joss Whedon in the early ’00s. This incarnation of the team stars Old Man Logan, Archangel, Rogue, Gambit, Mystique, Psylocke, Bishop, and Fantomex. This, combined with the previously announced X-Men Gold, just proves that Marvel is trying to initiate a 1991-style refresh of the X-Men franchise, and I am here for it! This Astonishing team is basically a refresh of the 90s Blue Team from “adjectiveless” X-Men, while the team in X-Men Gold is pretty much a refresh of the 90s Gold Team from Uncanny X-Men. I love the Old Man Logan character, though I fear he’s approaching typical Wolverine levels of overexposure. Meanwhile, it’ll be interesting to see how Bishop redeems himself considering he spent the bulk of the last Cable series trying to kill a little girl. And it’ll be an interesting dynamic between mother and daughter Mystique and Rogue, as well as starcrossed lovers Rogue and Gambit. I still hate Fantomex, though, and I wish Marvel would stop trying to make him “happen”. Anyway,  I don’t get excited for much, comic-wise, but I’m really looking forward to this book.

In sports news, Jay Cutler was cut from the Chicago Bears after 8 seasons. Now, if you know anything about me, you know I don’t give a shit about sports. Still, there’s a funny anecdote here. You see, when Lindsay and I first started dating, Cutler was the starting quarterback of her beloved Denver Broncos. She bought me my first NFL jersey, which happened to be a Cutler jersey. After all, there was no way he was going anywhere, right? Well, he got cut after that season, and I couldn’t really wear the jersey anymore. He ended up going to the Bears, who had the same color scheme. I thought that meant I could still wear the jersey, but apparently that doesn’t fly with sports fans. Anyway, he’s also married to Kristin Cavallari of Laguna Beach/The Hills fame, so I guess there’s your pop culture connection to justify my mention of him.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Director Joe Carnahan has exited the third Bad Boys film, Bad Boys For Life. Maybe I’ll get around to finally watching the first two before this thing gets made.

Jason Isaacs was cast as Captain Lorca in Star Trek: Discovery. I…don’t know who that is, so it’s done nothing to get me excited about this show.

It was a week packed with renewals, as One Day At A Time was renewed by Netflix, Riverdale was renewed by The CW, and Baskets was renewed by FX. I pretty much only have interest in one of those shows. Can you guess which one?

Emma Dumont was cast as Polaris in Fox’s untitled mutant series, which will be interesting since she’s Magneto’s daughter and all…

The embargo for reviews of Netflix’s Iron Fist was lifted, and they weren’t pretty. It seems the problems are with the structure and not necessarily the casting, so it looks like the folks lobbying for an Asian American lead dodged a bullet there.

Who knew Josh Radnor had been working since How I Met Your Mother ended? Well, he’s not anymore, as his PBS series Mercy Street was canceled yesterday.

Now, I know Logan had a great week. It came out to rave reviews, and it opened to $238 million worldwide. Still, I kinda got things off schedule. You see, it got the West Week Ever last week before it had even performed. I don’t really want to start this trend of the same thing getting the WWE two weeks in a row just because I just had to see it opening night, hours before pushing “Publish” on the next post. So, yeah, Logan had a great week, but it was the best thing I experienced last week. Now, I’m gonna talk about the best thing I experienced this week.

Since its debut in 2015, I’ve been a big fan of the FXX series Man Seeking Woman. Starring Jay Baruchel (you know who he is, even if you don’t know his name), it follows Josh Greenberg, a down on his luck Millennial who tries to navigate the waters of modern day dating. Like a less contrived version of How I Met Your Mother, the first two seasons saw Josh go on date after date, trying to find The One, but always coming up short. That all changed this season, however, as he met Lucy. He meets Lucy in the season premiere, marries her in the season finale, and their courtship fills out the middle. Lucy’s not only perfect for him, but she also helped the show take on a new direction. We started seeing things from a female perspective, as the show became as much about her as it was about Josh. We got to see her deal with having to give up her fun party life to settle down. We see her deal with the temptation of another possible suitor. But in the end, she chose Josh. This season, it was as much Man Seeking Woman as it was Woman Seeking Man.

This week saw the season finale of the show and, as I mentioned, it focused on Josh and Lucy’s wedding. The show hasn’t been picked up for a fourth season yet, and I’m hoping it doesn’t. As much as I’ve loved it, it has served its purpose. Over the course of 30 episodes, it set forth a goal and it achieved it. Sure, there are a lot of shows that evolved past their initial concept (looking at you, Cougar Town), and I’m sure the show could keep going as we see Josh and Lucy navigate married life, have a kid, etc. But I think I like it where things ended up. We don’t have to see all of that to know it happens, and I don’t think the show as a whole would be any stronger if we did see all that. Instead of overstaying its welcome, I’d prefer it take the British approach of “less is more”. Three seasons is a good run, and it did what it set out to do. It found Josh a woman. Now, if they did want to continue the show in some capacity, I would love if they flipped it to Woman Seeking Man. You see, every season, there’s one episode that stars Josh’s sister, Liz, as we get to see her life in contrast to Josh’s. While Josh is an unlucky in love office manager who lacks ambition, Liz is a driven workaholic attorney – who also happens to be unlucky in love. The Liz episodes tend to be the strongest of an already strong season, and it’d be great to see more focus on her. Josh and Lucy could still pop up as supporting characters, but the focus would now be on Liz.

With all of this gushing, I haven’t really explained what’s so great about the show. After all, it probably sounds like a run of the mill sitcom, but it’s far, far from that. There’s a streak of absurdity to the show that really lends to its tone. For example, in the pilot, Josh’s girlfriend, Maggie, leaves him to date Adolf Hitler. Last season, Liz had an affair with Santa Claus, while Josh dates a girl whose ex-boyfriend was Jesus Christ. Yeah, it’s not your run of the mill comedy. You’ve got to see it to fully experience it, but I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

The season finale ends with a scene that brings the show full circle to the pilot. If there is another season, I hope they don’t fuck it up. If there isn’t, though, I love what they did, and how they did it. Everything was wrapped up with a nice bow, and it’s a strong series from beginning to end. That’s why Man Seeking Woman had the West Week Ever.