#how much molly of all people is the most tied to the moon--

[dent-de-leon]

1 week until solstice live show...begging with my heart in my hands for Taliesin to play Kingsley, even just for a bit--

[glitter-garbage]

12. — thread

Shadowgast, ~1600 words, gen, red thread of destiny, soulmate au (spoilers for the eiselcross arc)

Sent by @quinn-of-aebradore 💜 ...ps: this is not edited at all (one word writing prompts: send me one and a pairing if you like. I might fill them some day!) ---

When Bren learned he had magic, he also learned that he could see things that not everyone did. It wasn’t natural, he had to focus, and later on, he even found out there was an actual spell for it. Still, on more than one occasion growing up, Bren would see the delicate red threads that connected people around him.

“Those mean whoever is connected to you is your soulmate,” his mother explained, “Can you see mine?”

And, sure enough, his mother had a little thread connecting her ankle to Leofric’s. He longed for his own thread to appear, though his mother explained that not everyone had one.

Bren didn’t have to worry, though. He was only fifteen when not one, but two threads connected his ankle to his best friends of all people. By that time, he had already been whisked away to the Academy along with them and the experiences they shared, the successes, the pain, the power, all of that just cemented their connection in his mind.

Until he broke, that is.

After the fire came the Sanatorium, and for eleven years Bren, now Caleb, did not think about that again. Only when he got out did he notice that his ankle was free. Nothing connected him to anyone anymore. It was okay, he was a garbage person. He didn’t deserve love like that anyway.

---

Nott had a red thread. It vanished out to the horizon, and Caleb never saw the thread move in a way that indicated that her soulmate was closer. He wondered if she knew, for a while. Then, he learned the truth. Veth’s soulmate, her husband, kidnapped, imprisoned. He was happy she had met him though, and confident they'd free him. She deserved happiness, he would help her in any way he could.

Two couples in his little group had threads connecting them to each other from the start. Fate worked in mysterious ways, Caleb thought. Beau and Yasha did not seem that close, though Beau’s attraction was obvious, and cringe-worthy at times, but Caleb was sure things would go well for them in the future. Jester and Fjord’s thread almost made his heart break- he had allowed himself to get way too attached to the two, but neither of them were for him, obviously. Destiny had other plans.

Molly did not have any threads, like him. After learning about his past, Caleb wondered if he had gone through something similar to Caleb, the snapping of a thread after a traumatic event. He allowed himself to grow closer to the tiefling tentatively, allowed feelings to bloom slowly. Molly was warm to him, and he thought perhaps it was another form of destiny that would tie them together.

That had been a mistake.

The last one to join their family was Caduceus. He had no thread too, and Caleb had no curiosity about it anymore. His interest in destiny had all but faded.

He loved his friends. He had friends. That was enough, for someone like him.

---

“The Luxon is the basis of how we've been able to free ourselves from the binds of the lineage the Betrayer Gods left for us and to carve our own fates, choose our own paths and sidestep these destinies placed upon us nonchalantly by gods that use us as playthings.”

The Shadowhand was interesting. Dangerous, powerful, enticing. Caleb considered what he said about freedom from destiny, the ability to find your own way. He had certainly strayed from his path, but perhaps that was not the worst thing.

Essek Thelyss, too, had no thread attached to him.

Perhaps because Caleb was no longer obsessing over what destiny had in store for him, perhaps because he was beginning to accept that his own imperfect path was better than the one that had been set for him, Caleb felt empathy towards the drow even after he had betrayed them.

They were so much alike, and Caleb kept his heart more closely guarded now. He did not feel his heart breaking when they learned of Essek's schemes, and that too helped. In any case, he did not see Essek again for a long time. Did not think much about him. There was too much on his plate for that.

---

Astrid smiled at him from across a dinner table and his stomach dropped. Caleb felt the wheels of time turning, felt again like Bren, determined and ambitious and blind to the truth. Eadwulf looked at him with a raised chin, a smirk on his face. He too remained handsome, impossibly so.

When they walked out of Ikithon’s tower, Caleb could make out the thin red thread that still connected their ankles. He thought he was stronger, that perhaps he was ready for this.

“Race you to the top,” said Astrid with a childish smile, before turning back to the tower.

It hurt. He could feel the emptiness of what could have been, what would never be again in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.

---

Imagine his surprise when arriving at the Vurmas outpost in Eiselcross, the powerful figure of the Shadowhand could not meet his eyes. Imagine his surprise, when he saw his eyes lighting up when they chose him instead of his old teacher to go down into the ruins. Imagine his surprise when he saw Essek battling, using gravity itself as a weapon, and felt only fondness and admiration for the man. When he showed off his tower and saw the same in the drow’s eyes. And attraction, of course. That went without saying.

It all came to a head when, together, they worked to cast a spell that would shorten time itself and give the Nein their much-needed rest.

Thought it might have felt like seconds to their friends, Caleb watched for long moments, holding magic in his palms to assist, as Essek opened a gash through the fabric of space and time. Real fabric, made of threads of all colors that together seemed to make up what he saw as the world around him. Time seemed to stop around them as Essek carefully worked around the fibers.

“This… Have you been able to see this the whole time?” he asked.

Essek’s jaw was clenched and there was sweat running down his forehead, but he nodded, “Not really. It takes a lot of effort to see this. A lot of energy.”

Caleb hesitated but gave in once Essek’s questioning gaze found his for a moment, “I have always seen the red threads. I- I had my own, for a while.”

“Annoying little things,” muttered the drow, focusing again at the slow-going task of weaving time with his bare hands, “There was a time when I hated them more than anything.”

“You used to have yours, too?”

“Hm? No,” said the drow distractedly, “I hated them because I had none, and I thought I should. The Dynasty looks like a tangled web if you watch for them since so many entanglements are made complicated by consecution. But I never had one, and even though I looked for… someone that could perhaps make it appear, it never did.”

He moved his wrist to the side, and the universe seemed to shift with it. Caleb felt a little dizzy.

“But I had never heard of someone who lost theirs. I thought they were supposed to be, ah, perfect,” Essek smirked, “Unless you did what we are doing right now to yours. That is, changing it fundamentally. Somehow, I do not think that is what happened.”

“Nein,” Caleb chuckled wryly and then held himself straighter, keeping the spell steady as Essek continued his labor. “I… strayed from the path, I think. I did something that was not meant to be.”

Essek looked at him like he was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen, even though the elf himself had the building blocks of reality in his hands at the moment. Caleb flushed.

“I think Caduceus would say that you did exactly what you had to do.”

“Maybe so. But isn’t it hard to know that others will have this… this gift, this sure thing while we will not?”

Essek looped a bright white strand against a colorful, prismatic one while he hummed, thinking.

“I felt the same way for decades. But whatever we will have or not, in that sense, will be of our own making. And isn’t that a gift on its own?”

---

The moonlight shone down on the beach, turning the sea a glittering mass of waves. Other than the full moon, magical globes and luminescent beetles illuminated the space around them. Their friends gathered around smiling tearfully in perfect dissonance. Caleb himself felt his heart beating so fast he thought it might leave his ribcage and seek quietude somewhere far away from his anxiety-ridden body. He stood beside Caduceus, who hummed a sweet song under his breath as they waited.

Finally, the glittering door at the end of the path opened, and Essek slipped out, bare feet delicately touching the sand. Jester came from behind him, and once their arms were locked, they walked on slowly, passing their friends and family on the way to Caleb and Caduceus.

He looked stunning in delicate iridescent robes, and Caleb tried to swallow down his anxiety. Violet eyes framed by silver lines, mouth poised in a gentle smile, cheeks flushed, Essek walked slowly until he was face to face with his intended.

Essek reached for his hand, and they stood silently, gazes locked while Caduceus conducted the ceremony. When it was time, Caleb drew a small spool of red thread from his pocket. Gently, he took Essek’s hand in his and tied a knot around his little finger. He offered the spool, and Essek repeated the gesture, biting his lips nervously. Caduceus cut the remaining thread, leaving their hands connected.

“You are now joined together, not by destiny, but by your own choice. I think that’s very nice,” Caduceus smiled placidly until Veth cleared her throat, “Oh yeah. You guys can kiss now.”

Caleb smiled at the phrasing. He lifted his hand, pulling Essek’s forward until the drow was close enough for him to count his freckles. Their hands tingled as he came impossibly closer. Essek’s mouth was warm against his.

For the first time in Caleb's life, he felt destiny favored him.

---

[ilove-cedricdiggory]

Moony

Remus x Reader

Part 2

Summary - After you left Remus after telling him about your pregnancy, you're now trying to juggle being pregnant by yourself in a foreign country, along with your three best friends searching for you.

Trigger Warning - Cursing, mentions of abortion, angst, it's longish? I think that's all. Let me know if there's more though.

Italics are letters, Bold is unknown to the readers.

America.

That's the only way you can really describe it. It is, well, America. Some places are incredibly beautiful, some terribly ugly. Some incredibly cold, some unbearably hot. Some busier than Diagon Alley on the day all the kids come to buy their things, some slower than a virgin's bedroom.

You hadn't seen much, especially seeing as how you had only been there for a week, but it was already more than you expected. You expected a stern talking to, you expected a bed rest, you expected a midwife in every thirty minutes, and you definitely expected to have someone at your side every second of the day. But, that wasn't what you got.

Especially seeing as how, your Great Grandpa kicked the rest of your family out of the house before you arrived, not wanting his favorite grandkid to be in an uncomfortable home, especially while she was growing his two great, great grandkids.

He was incredibly wealthy, a pure blood from England gone American. You had been the only one that actively spoke to him and visited him as often as you could while he lived in England. Now, your family was watching the sand fall in his hourglass to see who got the most money from his will. Honestly, though, you could see the man living another 200 years - just to spite them all.

He had taken you out, shown you incredible things, although you were stuck in a stupid state of unbearable heat - Texas. Although, the heat had taken you out of the sweaters that had you crying every time you got a whiff of his scent, and into some beautiful maternity sun dresses. You had already sent 20 pictures to Molly.

You had yet to write to Lily though, but her owls came twice a day, at least. You were starting to worry that she would get on James' broom and follow the owl herself to find you. Her letters really all stayed the same.

Y/n, just tell me where you are. I won't tell Remus, or Sirius. Heck, I won't even tell James. Harry and I will come visit and I'll tell you all about how I beat Remus' arse. Or how James did....Or how Sirius did. But, please, just write me back. I love you. I miss you incredibly.

Then you had

Y/n, come on, you really have me worried. The entire order has heard about what happened and I think they're all freaking out each second like we are. We miss you. You're the ray of Hufflepuff joy we all need, the always Ravenclaw intelligence the boys really need, the absolute Gryffindor bravery in the craziest of situations that the order needs, and the Slytherin strength I need. Please, just write back.

Then, she got help from the boys - or, the ones you would be open to hear from.

Y/n, while I have to be honest, Lily is standing over my shoulder watching me write this, I was going to do it either way. Remus was an absolute arse, I understand that, but we miss you. Lily, Harry and I want nothing more than for you to be home, with us even. You don't have to see him, you really don't. We just want to be here for you through this time, the good and the bad. Please write back.

When that didn't work, you had a howler from Sirius.

Y/n Y/l/n, I swear, if you don't write me back, I'm gonna jump into the paper and send myself! I'm going absolutely crazy watching Lily freak out every day! You're the only one that can calm her, not even James is doing it! You're taking away my precious James time! I fucking miss you - okay? Moony is an absolute dick. He deserved you walking out on him, he really did, but please don't walk out on all of us too. Y/n, we miss you, we really do. Moony isn't even here anymore, he left after we all went to Molly's - Sirius, don't tell her that! - Shit, fuck, how do I scratch that? Uhhh, I didn't say that. Erase! Erase! Lily, how do I erase on a howler? Fuck. Whatever. I'm sure it erased. But, come home. I'll make James make you that surprisingly good chicken he makes and I'm sure Lily would love to give you some old baby momma clothes or whatever the fuck they're called. I just - we just - no, I miss you, okay? Come home.

Your heart broke, not just because Remus was missing, but because your friends were hurt.

You sat down at the table in your guest house, sighing softly. A quill and some parchment sat before you, your hand shaking as you dipped it into the ink.

Lily, James, and Sirius.

While I know I could write a letter to each of you separately, I'm almost positive you're all together, or you're gonna call each other as soon as you get my letter.

I'm okay, I think. Not as okay as I wish I was, I cry a lot. While I wish I could blame it on the hormones, I know it's not. Everything reminds me of him, even here. No, I'm not in England, I'm in the states. I'm staying with some family and I think it's doing me well. At least, I've started to own my pregnancy.

After what Remus said to me, my body broke. I just about hated the fact that I was pregnant. Not my kids, just that I was pregnant. But, with each day, I realize that this pregnancy is the thing I needed most. While I wish I didn't have to say this - it showed me the man Remus is. Does that mean I cry any less? Of course not - you guys know me.

But, I really don't think I can come home, at least not yet. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm to do. I love Remus with every fiber of my being, but how do you love a man that told you to get rid of your own children, the minute he gets home from a mission he could have died from? How do you let him hold you as he feels the two children you both created grow in your belly knowing he hates them?

I'm going to come home eventually, of course I am. And I already promised Molly I'll be back for a visit soon, and you guys are more than welcome to come visit once I teach my family how to properly floo in America - did you know they don't do that here? It's super weird. But, I love you three incredibly. I'm so sorry this has happened. Be safe.

Your heart broke as you debated on writing more, about what your heart was still set on. Remus. Where was he? Where did he go? Had they heard from him? Was he looking for you? But you couldn't bring yourself to ask them.

The owl was sent with their letter, leaving you in the silence once more.

How could you feel so absolutely alone when you had people wanting nothing more than to be with you? Is it what you thought you deserved? They were his friends before they were yours. You felt horrible that they were taking your side. You felt your heart ripping slowly with each beat it made in it's spot in your being. It was like one half of your heart was tied to Remus' and with each beat away from him, it tore you apart - slowly, filling you with excruciating pain.

Five minutes after the letter was sent, you were standing, trying to find a way to busy your mind.

Ten minutes after the letter was sent, you were crouching in the corner, the weight of your predicament pressing down on you so hard, it's like it formed hands and was set on pushing you six feet under without any hole dug for your body.

Twenty minutes after the letter was sent, your body was shaking with it's sobs once more, the loss of not only your spouse, but also the friends you loved almost as much as him.

An hour later, you had fallen asleep on the floor, your mind groggy and your heart tearing with each beat, your conscious hoping to pull you away from the pain your felt in the body that was supposed to be yours - but belonged to the man who seemed to not want you anymore.

It was dark, so incredibly dark. The only thing that was seen was the moon, halfway full in it's wake. The only thing heard was the pads of feet stomping on the ground as they ran. Ran where? Ran why? You could feel the pain in your chest, but it was like it wasn't your own. As you came to a stop, you looked at a building that seemed a familiar kind of unfamiliar - although that didn't really make much sense to you.

Before you realized it, you were slumped over the toilet, letting out the contents of your stomach. One of your hands pulled your hair to one side of your shoulder, keeping it there. But all you could think was how badly you wish it was Remus holding your hair, rubbing your back as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

But all that mattered today was to get through it, like any other day.

One day following the motions.

Two days following the motions.

Three, four, five days.

Until your hands were pulled from your face, the skin around your fingers almost chewed to nothing, the warm face of Lily standing before you.

"If I see you bite your fingers one more time, I'm going to hex them to taste like Harry's dirty diapers." She spoke, pulling you up from your spot on the couch.

"Lily - I." You stopped, looking around her to see James, Sirius, and Harry. "How?" You asked, looking back into the eyes of your best friend.

"Your great grandpa is super cool. I think he was getting tired of all the letters we were sending him too and gave us the floo network here to knock you out of whatever it is you're in." Sirius spoke, Harry on his shoulders, pulling at his hair.

"You guys-" You were cut off with Lily pulling you into her hold, her larger belly pressed against yours as you both attempted to properly hug one another.

"I have missed you, so much" Her voice was soft, uncommon for Lily. Her hands held you tightly, almost like she was holding onto you to make sure you didn't disappear once more.

"Come on Lils, other people missed her too." Sirius spoke to cause her to pull away and glare at the man. "If you weren't holding onto my kid, I'd have hexed you so hard for that." She said, moving to grab Harry from his shoulders as James wrapped you up in a hug himself.

"If we hadn't seen you for another day, I think Lily was going to fly off on my broom." He said, causing you to laugh at your own prediction.

You finally got to Sirius, his arms holding you tighter than the two. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, his hold growing tighter. "What are you sorry for, Siri?" You asked him, pulling away to look into his face.

"What he said, what he did. That's not what you deserved." He mumbled, pushing your hair back a bit. "I swear, I about pounded his face in at Molly's. I think Arthur had to separate me magically." He trailed off, looking at the floor.

His words brought tears to your eyes once more, your heart feeling empty, yet full. "That's not your fault, Sirius. We all knew he didn't want kids, but we weren't careful. I don't know why his reaction surprised me." You were honest with them, having thought this entire thing was truly your fault.

The three of them surrounded you, their eyes narrow with intent. "Y/n, the last thing this is, is your fault. You're his fiancée, not a random person. Either way, those are his kids. He shouldn't have treated you like he did." James spoke with meaning, wanting you to understand each word he spoke.

Somehow, the four of you relaxed enough to find yourself growing to bed. You showed Sirius his room, a place where James and Lily can lay Harry, and then their own room, before finding your way to your own.

You laid in bed, wide awake. You knew what tonight was, the night before the full moon, and knew that Remus was probably out wherever he was, already in pain. Every turn was different, it truly was, but each night before the full moon, his body ached, his bones almost softened, knowing they would be breaking and turning in 24 hours, and his head psyched him out, especially when you weren't there. This was now the third full moon your financé was to handle without you.

You refused to cry, knowing Lily always had a third sense to that stuff, and willed yourself to sleep. But, you laid there.

And laid there.

And laid there some more, until you couldn't handle the quiet, and found yourself moving out of the room and towards Sirius'.

You had slept with Sirius before, each time when Remus was gone and your heart could hardly handle it. Now, the three hearts inside of you couldn't stand the guilt of not being with him.

The door didn't creak when you opened it, none of the floor boards made a sound, but that somehow made it worse. Your feet carried you to the dark haired man, seeing his sleeping frame move, sensing another person there.

His eyes jerked open, coming to look at you as he smiled sadly. "How did I know you'd come in here. Just can't resist the charm, can you?" His voice was deeper, rougher from sleep. It calmed you, but never like Remus' did. You waddled closer to the man, his arms opening for you as you crawled into him.

You both laid in silence, but awake now, as you took in the moment.

"I miss him, Siri. I know I shouldn't, I know I should hate him, but my entire being misses him." Your voice was softer than his was, much softer, but it wasn't because you were afraid of him, but because you were afraid of your own truth.

"I know you do. I know he misses you too. You guys are kinda like Lily and James, meant to be. He's just, an absolute git for this." His fingers worked in your hair, rubbing your scalp and causing your eyes to close in comfort.

"I thought we were meant to be too. But, he doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't want us." At that, Sirius rested a hand at your bump, this being the first touch they really had beside your own. "He does, he's just stupid and scared. Either way, you have us. Aunt Lily, Uncle James, and, the absolute best uncle in the world, Uncle Siri. We've got you." His sensere words lulled you to sleep, a sleep where you felt safe and happy falling into.

You were running again, but it didn't feel like you were in danger. It felt like you were running to run, really. Which, was something you did not do. You weren't in the woods, but you didn't know where you were. All you did know is that you were still scared. Absolutely, bone crushingly scared.

With each step you took, the fear grew. How could you possibly be this scared? You were looking for something, but you didn't know what. You were shaking, but from both the cold and the fear. You were shaking. Shaking. Shaking

Shaking. "Y/n, wake up!" Sirius was looking down at you, his eyes full of excitement. "Your great grandpa is showing us the American version of Diagon Alley today!" You smiled up at him, nodding.

"Okay, okay, let me get changed."

The four of you had left your Grandpa once he settled himself down to play some wizards chess, waving you off.

"You know where the house is when you're done, I've got a title to keep."

You wandered through stores, showing them the few things you had learned so far about the wizarding world here. The four of you had just walked into their version of Flourish and Blotts when you were stopped by an older couple. "Oh, you both look absolutely wonderful! I remember when I was that pregnant. How far are you both?" she was smiling at you and Lily, growing closer to you.

"I'm due in about a week and a half. We already have one, Harry, who's staying with her family." She had pointed to you, smiling at the older woman. "Oh, I'd expect you to be due any day now. Seconds always come early and you look family dropped. What about you dear?" She had looked to you, glancing at your own belly.

"Oh, I'm only a few months along. Twins." You laughed, your hand resting protectively on your belly. "Awe, that's lovely. You both look radiant. Two amazing father's, I hope?" She now looked at James and Sirius, smiling at them. "Oh, no, I'm not the father. Our best mate is." Sirius spoke, gesturing to you. "Well, I dunno, is he?" He asked, looking at the three of you. "It's complicated." Lily said, smiling.

The older woman nodded, smiling. "I completely understand. I wish you both the best of luck." She bid you all adu, leaving with her husband.

"I can't tell if that was awkward or sweet." James laughed, leading you all to the door to leave.

You all laughed as you walked through the Wizarding space until you and Lily began complaining about the swollen ankles and bloated stomach enough to convince James and Sirius to guide you both home.

As the day turned into night, you now showing your friends the muggle artifacts your grandpa has collected from his move to the states. That was, until Lily groaned in pain.

"Fuck, she was right." The young woman grumbled, clenching her bump. "What do you mean?" James asked, his hand on her back softly. "He's coming early, James. I'm in labor, fuck." She groaned again, tilting her head back at the pain she was feeling for the second time in her life.

"Shit, Sirius, go find some towels. I'll go tell grandpa to write the healer for labor." You spoke, pointing Sirius in the direction of the towels before moving to Lily. "It'll be okay, okay? Everything will be fine." She nodded, gripping your hand tightly as she looked in your eyes. She smiled before groaning once more, a contraction hitting her. "Okay, okay, healer. You guys lay her down." Sirius returned with multiple towels, James and him laying a few out before helping Lily lay down on them.

You turned to waddle out of your home, attempting to get to your grandpa's house as quickly as possible.

Three steps towards his house, you heard a twig snap.

Five steps towards his house, you heard a thud.

Nine steps towards his house, a figure stopped before you, it's frame furry and bent, a growl releasing from his lips.

A werewolf.

How the fuck is a werewolf standing in front of you, in the middle of fucking Texas, in a populated muggle area?

You took a few steps backwards, until it clicked.

The only Werewolf that would spend his full moon looking for you was the same werewolf that has plagued your mind for the past month.

Moony.

~

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[intergalacticwanderer]

(Circus Kids week day four - color. Directly inspired by this.)

Yasha was in a state of gentle shock. She was riding in the back of a cart, numerous other people nearby after so long on her own, and things weren’t going wrong. It felt like a dream. Or something she’d made up. And yet the cart was still solid below her, wood grain rough under her finger tips and every bump in the road jolting through her. It all appeared to be real. But the thing that she couldn’t get over, that felt the most fantastical out of everything, was the tiefling sitting across from her.

Right now he was lounging with his head tilted back to absorb the sun, light winking off of the jewelry on his horns and lavender skin framed by dark purple hair. Over his shoulders was a dark red coat embroidered with an absolute riot of different colors and fanciful designs, the inside blue with a pattern of crescent moons. Even his skin managed to have more color to it as well, Yasha noticing peacock feathers tattooed on his cheek and neck, and other tattoos peeking out in different spots on his body, all framed by scars of a lighter purple color. She couldn’t remember seeing so much color in one place before. It was overwhelming.

And it was beautiful.

She inhaled. Exhaled. Breath shaky, but there. She didn’t know how long it’d been, really, since she’d come to in front of the statue of the Stormlord. But Molly(?) was still the first person she’d seen since then, and he was... well, he was a lot, and not just in his appearance, but in a good way. The way he’d just kept on talking to her in that field, and through a large portion of this cart ride, had kept her grounded. Given her something else to focus on, and he’d even made her laugh a few times, his own face lighting up when she’d done so. It felt good.

Maybe it’d be okay for her to actually stay here for a while. To let some of that color into her life. Molly shifted up from his lounging position, stretching his arms above his head and rolling his neck before he settled, hand on the back of his neck and grinning her way.

“You doing good?”

Yasha nodded. “Yeah.” Her voice was soft, still a little rough, but it was getting better every time. And she’d have time for it to get better in the future.

She was doing good.

***

His footsteps slowed, heart racing as he looked around at his surroundings. Light sound smell color everything, it was overwhelming. Too much. He clutched at his face, eyes screwing shut. “Empty. Empty. Empty. Empty...”

“Molly?”

He stopped.

“Mollymauk Tealeaf.”

And he turned around.

She stood tall before him, in blacks and greys and whites that were nearly a relief for how different they were, grounding amidst all of the chaos that surrounded him. The words she had just spoken to him, he didn't recognize them, but her voice? That was different. Familiar.

“Empty.”

She shook her head. “No.”

Ah. That’s why it was familiar.

“Love,” he said, and upon hearing that her expression ached, sadness and happiness all tied up together and, yes. That’s what she was.

“Love.”

Later, when he could think clearly but was still needing to figure out who he was, he watched an image of a coat turning in the air.

“Do you want it to be a red coat? I mean, you were dreaming of it.”

He shook his head, face scrunching up a bit. “Mmm.” Looked over at Yasha with a thoughtful expression. “Or maybe black for now.”

“Looks good on everyone,” Yasha said, nodding with a half smile, and he nodded in agreement.

“Start simple.”

And simple it may have been, but in a few years it was still there on his shoulders, monochromatic against his colorful skin and tattoos. Staying with him as he was living life, and getting better every day.

And in the end, that was good enough for him.

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 66)

Where Next?

Thanks for your patience guys ❤ This one is pretty short, I'm sorry about that, but there is action coming, promise. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter with cute little Jack 😊

Tagging @emily-strange and @actuallyhansolo​​ ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

I didn't see much of Arthur for a couple of days. Things were strange at the camp, there was no sense of permanence at all, there was plenty of talk about what next, where next? Some people had their answers, but mostly the camp was quiet with everyone in their own bubble of quiet contemplation. Everything had fallen apart in a matter of days and suddenly everyone had to figure out what to do next. 

I just waited patiently, doing what I could for the group. I hunted and provided some meat for everyone to fill their bellies with, it helped us to keep warm. It wasn't the toastiest of locations, so far north, but it would do until we had our plan. 

Arthur had spent the past two days with Charles. They had broken Eagle Flies out of prison after nightfall and they were up first thing the following day to be with Rains Fall. He was meeting with the army; things were not good and he was hoping to salvage some sort of deal or relationship of trust. That's where they were as I was sitting by the fire, wrapped up in a blanket and keeping an eye on Jack for John and Abigail, who were nearby discussing their plan. All I knew of it was they were wanting to get as far away from this place as possible. I wondered if we would ever see them again, or if they would keep on going further and further until the only evidence we'd ever have of their existence was a letter in the post once or twice a year. It made me sad to think about it, but I couldn't for one second protest it. We couldn't have much of a happily ever after, not after the things we'd done. We just had to make the best of things. 

"What're you doing, Jack?" I called out when I saw him wandering a little too close for comfort to one of the geysers.

"Just looking," he shouted back to me, though he stopped and turned around to smile at me. He was still smiling. It astounded me, honestly, he'd taken everything so well. 

He did ask about Dutch once or twice, wondering when we were going back to him. Abigail was usually the one to tell him the truth, but softly, carefully, while John and the rest of us sat tongue tied, unable to think of the right words to satisfy a four year old in such a situation. Jack usually responded with silence, and I couldn't tell if his silence was a signal of sadness or indifference.

I watched the boy as he picked up a pebble from the ground and then eyed up the geyser. I knew what his question was going to be before he opened his mouth. 

"What would happen if I threw this inside?" He called. I exhaled a chuckle and went to answer, though the words got stuck. I didn't actually know.

"Uhh," I vocalised cluelessly, "I s'pose it'd shoot back out again." 

"Can I try it?" 

"Best not," I chuckled, "the speed that thing would come out– I don't know. I wouldn't if I were you, sweetie. What if it falls down and bops you on the noggin?"

"I'd be okay," he assured me, and I cocked my brow a little. 

"Your momma might not be, I'm supposed to be looking after you. I imagine she'd toss me in there if you got hurt on my watch. C'mere." 

He kept hold of the pebble but did as he was asked, and came trotting over to me with a pair of rosy cheeks.

"Sit by the fire, okay? It's freezing out here, ain't you cold?" 

"No," he told me, his tone was high and it was very obviously untrue.

"Your nose'll drop off if you ain't careful," I warned, a little smirk on my face. He touched his pink nose and considered it for a moment. 

"It didn't fall off when we were in the snow." 

"The snow?" 

"With Uncle Dutch and Hosea, and everyone else. Before you were here," he said, gazing down at the rock in his hand, scratching at a piece of mud caked onto it until it gathered under his fingernail. He wiped it on his trousers.

"Ohh," I nodded, I'd heard about it before, their short stop at Colter after the Blackwater fiasco. "Wow, seems like a long time ago, I bet. You've been to so many places since then, ain't you?"

He hummed his agreement and nodded, not looking up at me. 

"You like going to different places?" 

"I guess so," he shrugged, "but sometimes I get bored." 

I chuckled, "yeah, I think we all do," I smiled at him and stroked his hair for a moment. It was feathery soft and light, and I sighed at his innocence. Such a sweet boy. I had no doubt that Abigail and John loved him and were the best parents they could possibly be to him, but I wished he'd had more normal beginnings in life. And I hoped he'd forget some of the awful things he must've seen and heard. 

"How're you feeling, about going away with your ma and pa?" I asked him. 

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" I repeated, leaning my head on my fist as I leaned forward and down to his level. 

"We're going away. Uncle Arthur, and you, and Sadie won't be there? And all the others?"

"No, sweetheart, we won't. But I'm sure it won't be the last you'll see of all of us, hm? Right now, your mama and papa only wanna take you someplace safer, you understand that, don't you?" I asked softly and he sighed, his little shoulders jerking with it.

"I guess so," his voice was small and I gave his shoulder a little squeeze. 

"Keep your chin up, little prince. Your parents love you to the moon and back, a million times over. You're gonna be okay," I smiled at him, even though he was staring at the rock. I considered it for a moment. "Can I see that?" 

He looked up at me in question, and noticed that I was looking at the rock. He paused for a second before handing it over. I inspected it for a moment, it looked much smaller in my hand than it did in his but it still filled up most of my palm. I clutched it tight in my hand, then looked at Jack as I kissed my knuckles. I closed my eyes for a few moments, and I heard him giggle. 

"What're you doing?" He questioned and I scrunched my face up, shushing him softly. 

"I'm concentrating," I murmured, and continued the performance for a few more moments, his giggles continuing until I slowly cracked one eye open, and then the other. 

"What did you do?" He stood up and turned to me, his hand going to mine, trying to pry my fingers from the stone, his cheeks round and rosy with his grin. 

"I filled it with my love Jacky, and a little extra that I got from Karen, Mary Beth, Tilly, Hosea, Kieran, Molly, Sean, Mr Trelawny, Reverend Swanson, Mr Pearson, Uncle…" I made a show of gasping for a breath after listing off so many names, then swallowed before deciding to mention the names which followed, "and Javier and Bill too, and Mr Strauss… and Dutch." 

My voice had wavered and I needed a second to compose myself. I cleared my throat, and was grateful that Jack was preoccupied by looking at the grey lump of rock in my hand. It was warm from my body heat and he gasped a little when he took it from me, marvelling about it's temperature.

"But it's a big rock. Plenty of room for more love. How 'bout you ask everyone to hold on tight to that rock, and put all their love and care into it. So, as long as you've got that, you'll be safe, and you'll be able to remember all of us and know that we ain't ever leaving you, not in our hearts." 

"Okay!" He did a little jump and squeezed the rock in his hand again, holding it to his chest with the biggest smile I'd seen all year. It warmed my heart despite the freezing temperatures. I glanced up to where Lenny was sat wrapped up in his winter coat, a book in his gloved hands. 

"Why don't you go ask Lenny if he don't mind taking a break from reading?" I suggested, and Jack immediately spun around and ran over to him. 

I watched him from a distance, as he excitedly explained the concept. Lenny chuckled and looked up at me from across the camp. He put his book down, laced his fingers together and pushed them out to stretch out his hands before giving them a shake and rocking his head from side to side, limbering up before taking the rock from Jack and cupping it tightly between both hands and squeezing it as hard as he could, eyes intently focused on them. I grinned and laughed to myself, loving his commitment to making the boy smile. I knew everyone would be just as eager to please, not afraid of making a fool of themselves. 

For the rest of the afternoon Jack went around the camp asking people to contribute to the pebble. I was glad to have given him something to amuse him, and perhaps something to remember us all by, even if it was just a simple rock. It would be nice if he remembered us all each time he looked at it, if it didn't get lost along the way during whatever trips he and his parents were about to embark on. 

In the late afternoon Arthur came back. Charles was not by his side but he quickly reassured us that he had simply gone to visit the Wapiti Reservation after the negotiations hadn't exactly gone to plan. I tried not to listen to the details, despite this horrid feeling that built in the pit of my gut as days went by. I kept trying to reason with myself that Arthur had been putting his life in danger far longer than he had known me and had always come out alive. It didn't stop the voice in my head that would whisper about his luck running out…

Before I spiralled into those thoughts I got on with preparing dinner. As long as I had Arthur back in my arms at the end of the day, whatever chaos had found him while he was gone was not worth thinking about. Torturing myself was not going to help anyone, especially not Arthur, who would no doubt grow tired of my whittling about his well being. I just had to keep telling myself that soon this would all be over. 

–

"Canada, I'm thinking. Would be their best chance. They can't stay here much longer after all of that mess we left behind after the negotiations today," Charles was saying over his helping of rabbit stew. He'd returned from the reservation, where he'd apparently spent the best part of the evening convincing them to start packing up to leave. "Rains Fall seems hesitant, not that I don't understand him.  They've been moved around enough, all they want is to settle and have peace so they can live."

"Doesn't seem like they'll be able to do that here though," John said, and Arthur murmured a sound of agreement.

"He's coming to terms with that I think. He knows they'll have to move on sooner or later, it's just hard for him to accept right now, even harder for Eagle Flies. He's even more against the idea," Charles replied.

"He's got a lot of passion and fire in him, that man. He ain't quite learned though, that sometimes passion like that can get you killed," Arthur said. Charles silently nodded in agreement and looked down at his plate. "Canada, you say?"

"Canada," Charles nodded. "And I'd go with them."

"Really?" My brows raised. A quick, sharp pain went through my heart as in a second it became reality that the group was splitting up. These people I had lived with for so long and come to love, we were all going separate ways...

"Yeah. I don't have any other ideas," he chuckled a bit, then shook his head and became a little more serious, "I like it, with them. I feel closer to my mother." 

I smiled, comforted by the fact that even if Charles wouldn't be with us, he'd have a family.

"Arthur," I heard from behind. It was Sadie's gravelly whisper and my heart dropped. I knew what she was going to ask. Arthur, sitting beside me around the fire, glanced over his shoulder and nodded. Then he wordlessly leaned over to kiss my temple, and got up. He stepped over the log we sat on and headed away from the group with Sadie.

They were going to the O'Driscolls' hideout. More bloodshed. More danger. I took a breath and met Charles' eyes.

"I'm happy for you Charles. You deserve to be with people who care about you, who'll all keep each other safe. And the fact they also share your heritage, that's even nicer," I smiled at him and he nodded, "when do you think you'll go?"

"Soon as I've convinced them," he chuckled a little again, the corner of his lip lifting. 

"I'll miss you," I told him. It seemed to startle him but only a little, he was often cool and calm and not even surprising words of emotion could throw him off for long. 

"I'll miss you too," he said after a moment, and the words sounded almost like a revelation, like he also hadn't fully wrapped his head around the fact he'd be saying goodbye to us all until now. "We'll write to each other, all of us, yeah?" 

"Definitely," I nodded, my smile widening, "and if I ever find myself in Canada, I'll have a free place to stay, right?" I teased just a little and he laughed. 

"Of course.”

[theworldaccordingtomemes]

DAWSON’S CREEK SENTENCE STARTERS

“Don’t give up on your lost causes. You never know when your luck will change.”

“The only reason that you don’t have answers is because you’re too scarred to ask yourself the right questions.”

“Okay, no offense [name], but I don’t think anybody cares.”

“Weird things always happen during a full moon.”

“If two people are meant for each other, it doesn’t mean that they are meant for each other right now.”

“I can’t swear this is exactly how it happened but this is how it felt.”

“I’m a firm believer that sometimes it’s right to do the wrong thing.”

“I am falling hopelessly in love with you.”

“When I was afraid of everything else, I was never afraid to love you.”

“It’s easy to get lost in the big city.”

“The simple act of being in love with you is enough for me.”

“Your average teenager has an attention span of just under two seconds.”

“Suddenly, people who you think are always gonna be there...they disappear, you know?”

“You were once and will forever remain the number one skittish kitten in my life. It’s not to worry. It’s part of your charm.”

“It’s the end of something simple and the beginning of everything else.”

“You know it’s a new year. Who knows? You and I might even become friends.”

“Guys are attracted to girls for superficial reasons.”

“Tell me that you tied our boat up...and the one that’s floating downstream isn’t ours.”

“It’s the 90’s. You gotta be careful.”

“I remember everything.”

“I’d be satisfied if all of us just did what made us happy and left it at that.”

“I’m going to kiss you in ten seconds.”

“I’m afraid because you’re the single, most important being to ever grace my existence.”

“Anyone who’s never been hurt is either very lucky...or very lonely.”

“Then, why did you come [name]?”

“I mean, I’m pretty lucky...and I am still way too unhappy most of the time.”

“I just wanted to feel something. Anything.”

“I’m afraid that if I kiss you, my knees might buckle and I may stumble and I don’t know if I can handle that right now.”

“You're not a little Oompa Loompa anymore. You're a big, bad, manly Oompa Loompa.”

“See I believe that all of the mysteries of the universe, all the answers to life's questions, can be found in a Spielberg film.”

“This girl is head-in-the-clouds, one hundred percent in love with you, all right?”

“I've gotta big case of the Molly Ringwald syndrome.”

“I want you to look at me and see the person you've always known and realize that what we have is so much more incredible than just some passing physical attraction.”

“See the kiss is just the end result. It's not what's important. It's all about desire and wanting.”

“[name], you belong. You belong to me. Don’t you get it? You’re my soulmate.”

“My future lies with you.”

“Why is it that we’re so ridiculously intent on pleasing the people who dislike us most?”

“You know you love someone when you stay up all night just to watch someone sleep.”

“You can’t rely on someone else to make you feel alive. It’s an inside job.”

[popopodogrev]

Tharizdun and Exandria’s leap in progress

“Watching. Potential. Learn. Grow. Provoke. Consume. Reward. Patience”.

Uk'otoa "The Open Road" (2x05)

It was talked at length how the theme of hunger is prevalent in this campaign. And this hunger has many faces – from the literal hunger of Kylre the Nergaliid to the metaphorical hunger for wealth of Vokodo to the hunger for freedom of Uk'otoa. And many people theorize that it is the influence of Tharizdun, the Chained Oblivion that prompts the rise of insatiable hunger in many beings.  

But I want to talk about another type of hunger which showed up time and time again.

The hunger for knowledge.

More importantly, I want to talk about how the rise of hunger in the world is associated with negative phenomena like corruption and madness– but at the same time, the coming of Tharizdun could also prompt (and already prompts) the biggest leap in technological and magical advancement in Exandria’s history – because it is Tharizdun that makes hungry minds search for answers.

One of the most prominent examples of it is the story of Fjord. Uk'otoa (the being whose “hunger” is speculated to be influenced by Tharizdun) in his dreams tells him not to simply obey or follow his commands – no, he tells him to use his natural curiosity and ambition to become more powerful – and to do so by learning. Note how in the beginning of campaign Fjord’s goal is to get to the Soltryce Academy to learn about his new powers – and when that doesn’t work out, he is still eager to learn what Uk’otoa offers him (in the "Stalker in the Swamp" (2x21) his patron saying “Learn” prompts Fjord to dive into the pool). Only with the help of Caduceus and the Wild Mother he is able to cope with his hunger.

Then let’s look at Fjord’s First Mate - Beauregard. She is the group’s Number 1 note-taker, researcher, theorizer, truth-revealer. Her whole story is tied to the Cobalt Soul monks whose goal is to seek knowledge...

But is it really?

The Cobalt Soul worships The Knowing Mistress, Ioun who was forever wounded by Tharizdun – and it seems to me that, with possibility of Tharizdun’s release Ioun make the Soul lean more towards their second goal – to root out corruption, of which the Chained Oblivion is both the main representation and the main source (note how Beau gets not some high researching position in the Order like an “archivist” – but the position of the Expositor).

But of course, we cannot talk about hunger for knowledge without talking about Caleb. From episode 1 he was curious, he had appetite for knowledge – but as we saw later, many times he was borderline hungry for it (and because of it, he was able to develop unique relationships with both Fjord and Beau who also very inquisitive in nature and face the same temptation as him – note how it was Caleb and Beau who read the eye-granting book of DeRogna). For many episodes his goal was to unravel the secrets of time itself – and now, when we all thought that he was finally able to keep that hunger in line, the secrets of Aeor – and Cognouza ward – proved to be his hardest test yet.

The same Cognouza ward which is speculated to be corrupted by the Chained Oblivion.  

But theme of searching for answers, of desire to know runs like a thread through all of the Mighty Nein’s story. Clerics frequently use Speak with Dead, Commune and Scry – to try to learn new information, to gain advantage, to understand what is really going on (note how it was Jester who used the divination circle in Eiselcross).

And this is what really makes the Mighty Nein’s story different from Vox Machina’s – they must unravel the secrets of world, dive deep into the lost knowledge, theorize, search and learn to even try to defeat their enemies (and note how it was Molly who never wanted to know anything about his past – and where it got us).

But as I said above, not only Mighty Nein are prone to this hunger for knowledge. The whole world of Exandria and its denizens become more agitated. Take, for example, Yussa – Yussa, the great wizard, the owner of the Open Quay who lived for hundreds of years – but it is now that he cannot keep his morbid curiosity at bay and puts himself in danger time and time again (and note that he got stuck second time in Cognouza). We all joked that he is High Int Low Wis character – and while he certainly is, it does sound a bit strange that his desire for knowledge would overcome him like this.

Unless he too succumbs to the influence of Tharizdun like all those who seek knowledge.

But nothing can compare in terms of thirst for knowledge to what Essek did. When he decided to become a traitor to the Dynasty, when he decided to give Beacons to the Empire so he can research them he was influenced by a number of social and psychological factors – but at the very heart of it, Essek Thelyss, the Shadowhand, was hungry to learn – to learn the nature of the Beacons and the Luxon, the nature and possibilities of the dunamancy itself. After 120 years of life his natural curiosity, his desire to learn was too accelerated by Tharizdun – and to quench his hunger for knowledge and power, Essek starts a war.

And it goes without mention that dunamancy is like the perfect metaphor for that. Both Essek and Caleb are eager to find true limits of this school of magic and therefore spend a lot of time exploring the ruins of Aeor (and note the many signs of connection between Luxon, dunamancy and Tharizdun – the wording of 9th level spells “Ravenous Void” and “Time Ravage” yet again refers to the theme of hunger. Caleb and Essek wanting to master dunamancy quite literally means mastering the hunger of the Universe).  

So, considering all the examples mentioned above (and so many things that I didn’t touch upon), we may say that the hunger of Tharizdun sips through every level of one’s live on Exandria, both on personal and societal scale. Twenty years ago, there were no guns in Exandria save for Percy’s inventions - now we have Hupperdook which is the Empire’s first industrial town and the main research center for the “new and volatile technology” of gunpowder and guns. Twenty years ago, the dunamancy was a mysterious to Kryn and unknown to Empire - now we have research centers in Rexxentrum and people like Essek digging for answers. Twenty years ago, Exandrians knew almost nothing about Aeor and the Age of Arcanum – now we witness the emergence of pre-Calamity robotic society of aeormatons which can spread the lost technology around the world.

So, it won’t be a stretch to say that, if the coming of Tharizdun is not addressed in this campaign, in the next twenty years Exandria will become the most technologically and magically advanced it has ever been in its history. In this context the Moon Theory and Spelljammer setting (hints of which can be found throughout the games) would make so much sense for Campaign 3 – as they are the perfect blend of high technology and magic to which Exandria is rapidly approaching.  

[spoiler1001]

Heartbeats were a strange feeling, if one was aware of them. Lucien-no that wasn't right- felt his pulse from his scar. He opened his eyes and found himself surrounded by old friends. They looked at him with bright eyes, with Cree being the only exception. She looked at the tiefling with sharp eyes. It was dark, he couldn't tell the time. But as his eyes adjusted to the dark, nobody looked happy to see him. 

"You have a friend. Said this was his fault. What should we do with him?" Cree spoke in a low tone. There were quiet sounds of suppressed sobs and soft gasps. It sounded like-

The tiefling turned around and the pulse beating against his scar froze.

Caleb looked awful. His skin was pale, blue veins showing through and his lips blue. His hair was matted and muddy. He was shivering from the cold and shaking from hunger. His clothes were bloodied and he had bruises on his face. The bandages were dangling off of his arms, stained red. Lucien practically could sense the infection growing. He sat in front of the grave on his knees, clutching his clothes to his body. It was at this point that the rain and cold made itself known to the Nonagon, making his hair and red, torn clothes stickbto him like a second skin. Caleb was soaking wet, rain making his clothes even worse for the situation. A small puddle of reddish mud built beneath him.  

"What happened to him." The tone was harsh, maybe too much so but the wizard was important to him 

Caleb flinched at the sound of his voice. Yes, the voice was too harsh. The Nonagon kneeled next to him. Two fingers were placed under his chin and Caleb let his eyes meet- Molly? Mollymauk fit for the moment, right now. Caleb took a shaking breath. He looked even worse up close. There were dark bags under his eyes. Some of it bruising, some from exhaustion. Green stains colored his skin, matching the grass around the grave. 

"What happened to him?" Mollymauk repeated. "He travels in a group." Unease filled his mind. Were they-

"I left. Someone had to- after everyone was saved and Lorenzo killed- someone had to keep watch in case-" Caleb rocked back and forth. "It's just me." Ok so as far as he knew, they were alive. Maybe Cree can scry on them later, but that's not important right now. 

"And the bruises?" Molly let his hands grab Caleb's shoulders. There was dried- something- it was nearly impossible to see what it was without light,  but it ran down the part of his neck behind his ear, and onto his back.

"Someone tried to grab your coat." Caleb looked away, towards Cree. Lucien stood up. "Find us the nearest Inn with a hot bath. Take him with us." 

"As a prisoner?" Cree asked, almost happy at the thought. 

Molly hid his frown at the thought. "This man is loyal. He comes with us as a friend. I will make anyone answer for any injuries."

"As the Nonagon wishes." Cree sighed and roughly brought Caleb to his feet. Not healing him, Lucien noticed. He was tired. Coming back to life was...unpleasant. He was tired. His soul felt like it was floating through the air. He needed a nap- or a drink. Getting out of the rain would help. It was starting to sting. 

"Bring the coat." Molly added. Cree openly scowled. Caleb wobbled towards him. There was a horse and cart. Molly helped Caleb into the cart and climbed in. 

"Is it you?" Caleb whispered. The hope and wonder in his voice was heartbreaking. Molly wanted to bundle him up and tell him it was ok. 

"When it's just us? Yes I'm me. I'm Molly, otherwise I'm Lucien." Molly nodded. Caleb let tears fall from his cheeks, leaving streaks in the mud on his face. Molly opened his arms and Caleb buried his face into the crook of Molly's neck. Molly purred and hummed. 

"I'm sorry you died." Caleb whispered. 

"Just...there's time for that later." Molly promised. "Thank you for staying."

Caleb responded by whispering something into Molly's chest. Molly purred louder and Caleb drifted off to sleep.

Molly placed a hand on the back of Caleb's neck, feeling him breathe.  Caleb's hair had grown out well past his shoulders. It would look so nice washed and brushed out. 

"Nonagon, is it wise to bring along someone that claimed responsibility for-" Cree spoke up, climbing into the cart that was now moving. 

"I made my own choices, both when I died and now. The fact that he stayed says more about his character than me falling. I think such kindness should be returned." It felt weird to Molly, speaking so formally, but he had memories of Lucien again. Had the memories and habits. Even his accent was thicker. "I need to recover my strength in these coming days then we make our way north." 

"Finish what we started?" Cree asked hopefully.

Molly frowned. It would take a lot for that trip. "Yes." 

The Tombtakers found a nice inn rather easily. They rented three rooms to rest. 

Molly settled into a lush room with the mattress being a giant pillow. There the actual pillows were wonderful for heads with horns while the mattress enveloped him. The blankets were silk and felt wonderful against his skin. The walls had beautiful murals of the gods that was allowed in the kitchen. The platinum dragon danced on the ceiling, seeming to sparkle against the candle lights.

There was a door to the side, a bath that could fit five. The wash room was just as painted but with murals of the moonweaver and wildmother hidden in a mural of fields lit by a full moon. Molly stretched out on the bed. Caleb laid next to him, absolutely filthy but solid enough to make Molly want to grab onto him and never let go. His eyes were moving quickly under his eyelids.

Molly let his hand rise, becoming even with Caleb's cheek, but pulled away at the last second, letting it come to rest in the area between them. Caleb didn't let his face change but raised his hand, resting it over Molly's. 

Molly hummed and let sleep overtake him. 

----------------

Molly woke up to an empty bed. He lifted his head to look around. Cree sat in a nearby chair, crossleged. There was a familiar orange cat sleeping by his head.

"Your companion is washing. It would be unsightly for one to travel with you to be so…" Cree let her words die out. "How are you feeling?" 

Molly felt worse than before but he felt more alive than how he felt when he immediately woke up. Mud was still all over him but he could wait for his turn. 

"And the coat?" 

"We have it, but you don't expect to wear it." Cree huffed. 

"It would be nice to keep for sentimental value." Molly smiled, not mentioning that if someone were to peak in from his old friends, they have something to look on from. 

Took a step out into the main room, dressed in nice looking travel clothes. His hair was tied back and brushed while still looking a bit damp. 

He wore an off-white shirt, the sleeve pulled up to see dark gray cloth wrappings around his forearms. And black pants. Only the shoes were the same, but they were made for travel. Molly took a moment before looking up at Caleb's face. Oh. He was shaved. Molly had to pull his eyes away. "I need to sleep for one more day, but afterwards we can move out." Molly stood up. 

"If that is what you want." Cree sighed and walked out of the room. Molly looked at Caleb. After she left he physically relaxed. 

"You look better." Molly hummed. 

"Lucien, I do not think she likes me." Caleb spoke carefully. 

Molly frowned. "So what? I do. And you are clever." 

"She's worried about me outranking her." Caleb raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't exactly at my best last night."

"You were more composed than most would be. We'll see how traveling together goes." Molly hummed, patting Caleb on the chest. Caleb took a step back, letting Molly into the bath. 

The door remained open as Molly took his bath. 

"Talk to me. I need….I don't know. Just-" Molly sighed. 

"What do you wish to discuss?" Caleb's voice was even. 

"What happened after-" 

"I killed Lorenzo. We saved the others, we came here, dealt with the gentleman. Someone in the group told Cree, but I couldn't be with them anymore. There's a new cleric with them." 

Molly sighed. "Did you leave because of the new cleric."

"No. Caduceus is wonderful. Good for them. It's just that, years ago, I had a teacher that said I was not good enough to be a leader and had to be built up. He...asked a lot of me. When you died…" Caleb let out a self loathing laugh, the sound raspy. "I do not handle death well."

"I made a choice to use too much magic. Not you, not anyone else." Molly countered. "And Yasha?" 

"She left after mourning at your grave." Caleb shrugged. 

"Maybe she'll find us on our way." Molly smiled. 

The water was warm. Like flames reheated it before he went into it. It helped with the stiffness of his joints. His muscles relaxed as it became easier to wash the caked mud off of himself. "I know Cree did something to you." Molly said quietly. 

"Do not fault her for it. She and I had a disagreement about the people who had the privilege to see you awaking." Caleb froze. 

"How bad was the disagreement?" Molly sat up. 

"Nothing but a few scrapes and bruises." Caleb shrugged nonchalantly. 

"I don't like that. She has no right to say anything given how they abandoned my grave but you returned." Molly stood up and looked around, seeing fresh clothes waiting for him, with a deep red coat. 

"I'll be sure to pass along your discontent." Caleb said, almost to himself. 

"I can tell her myself but- Caleb…." Molly took a look at Caleb. There was a small trail of blood from the back of his head, behind his ear. Molly grabbed a bit of his red coat and held it to the wound. "Let me guess- Cree?" 

Caleb's silence said everything.

"You shouldn't let her walk over you. This can't continue." Molly sighed. 

"There were more pressing concerns." Caleb whispered. "I'll get food." He stood up, leaving his notebook open to show about a dozen different spells. Molly recognized a couple of them but they were personalized. None of these spells were anywhere else. Clever wizard. Molly's Lucien instincts told him to protect him because of the advantage he brought. Molly's Mollymauk instinct told him to protect him because of friendship and- nope not going there. 

"He's an assassin, you know. Those scars on his arms are the same as Volstruckers." Cree whispered. Slipping through the door as Molly closed the book. 

"The what?" Molly didn't care about what she was saying. 

"Cerberus Assembly assassins. They hunt traitors. Will kill even their own family. The Gentleman deals with the Assembly from time to time." Cree shrugged. 

"That's none of my business." Molly shrugged. Mentally he was trying to will her out of the room. 

"It should be. What if he's with the woman who-" 

"I doubt that very much." Molly hissed, shutting her up. "Thank you for your concern but issues regarding Caleb are mine and mine alone." So fuck off. Molly added mentally.

"If that's what you want." Cree sighed with exacerbation. 

"Yes it is. Leave him be unless I say otherwise." Molly swallowed his anger. He knew that Caleb had a past but he didn't want to know. It didn't affect him. Cree just shook her head and stepped out of the room. 

Caleb came back with a plate full of meat and potatoes. Molly perked up a bit and noticed that Caleb had Molly's coat in his arms. The necklace he always wore showed through his shirt. Caleb handed the plate over to Molly. Caleb sat on the bed and looked at the coat.

"The walls are rather thin here. One could hear a lot of conversations." Caleb hummed. 

"You heard Cree." Molly facepalmed. "I'm sorry-"

"She's right. I was trained for that line of work, but...I dropped out of school." Caleb took a deep breath. "'Caleb Widogast' isn't even my birth name." 

"What do you want me to call you?" 

"Caleb." 

Molly gave him a smile. "Then Caleb is all that matters. Now eat, we need to gain our strength again." 

--------------

Caleb wore the coat. It was colorfully loud and sparkled delightfully, and Caleb wore it, matching it with the necklace he never took off.  Molly loved it. Magic morphed around Caleb. Caleb had written a few spells of his own. There was a tent, a giant cat's claw, a tower. The tower was his favorite. It was warm, colorful.

There were separate rooms for the Tombtakers. 

There were intended separate rooms for each of the Tombtakers. 

Molly liked to sleep in Caleb's room. Molly was on his way to bed when he heard a conversation. 

--------------

Caleb had braided his hair as he was ready for bed. Cree was sitting on the couch in his room. She was not invited into the room but she was there. Practically purring. 

"I'm just saying that the rest of us have a bond. The Nonagon can use us whenever he needs. The rest of us are able to be communication tools for him. It's wonderful. It's like never being alone. It's like letting something devine overtake you." 

That made his stomach drop. 

"That sounds wonderful to those that enjoy it, but I will have to refuse." Caleb smiled politely, but opened the door for her. 

"It is what it is, Bren." Cree shrugged. Caleb froze, causing the lights to flicker in the tower for a moment before his smile dropped. 

"I don't know what your deal is Cree, but stop. I'm not stealing your precious Nonagon from you. I am his friend." Caleb glared. "I have no intentions of betraying him." 

"I know. I just like knowing who I travel with." Cree smiled and went on her merry way.

Caleb just shook his head.

"She still bothering you?" Molly asked, slipping into the room. 

"She's just showing that she's watching me. It's nothing." Caleb shrugged. 

"She said a name that bothered you." Molly pointed out. "I'm assuming it is your birth name." 

"Title, really. It is no matter. How close are we to Aeor?" Caleb smiled. 

"A few days' travel, normally. We do have to stop. I have to go...even a score. A Cerberus Assembly member, she hallowed me out for my magic. She has to die." Molly hugged himself. 

"Any way I can help?" Caleb looked Molly in the eyes. 

"Stay safe. Stay here in the tower. She's hired some old friends." Molly sat on the bed. 

"Who?" 

"The Mighty Nein." 

Caleb raised an eyebrow. 

"They don't look happy about it either." Molly laughed. "Yasha is with them. They look good." 

"Do you want me to prepare warm beds?" Caleb rubbed his hands together. 

"You are a genius." Molly laughed. 

"It will be nice to see them again." Caleb sat down next to him. 

"When this is over, do you think that they'd let me back in?" Caleb asked. 

"You want to leave?" Molly asked.

"I'm worried about...Cree is worried that I might prove a distraction to you in regards to this team. I might agree, so after this, I might return to them." Caleb shrugged. 

"If you go, I'm going. Fuck the Tombtakers." Molly bumped his forehead against Caleb's arm. "They don't get me. You do." 

"I've always seen kinship with you, Mollymauk. I was always worried that you didn't see me as such an equal." Caleb ran his thumb over the decorated horns. 

"I've always saw you as an equal. I am lucky to have met you." Molly slowly giving Caleb time to back out, let his tail wrap around Caleb's leg, right above the knee. Caleb took a deep breath, let his lips turn up, and those smirking lips pressed against Molly's. 

Molly let out a chirp, followed by a high pitched ecstatic noise. Molly pulled Caleb closer and only let him go when he needed to breathe.

"Charmer." Molly smirked. 

"Rest, Mollymauk. We have a big day tomorrow."

-------------

The next day was hard. Killing Vess was easy. Too easy. Maybe the Mighty Nein wanted her dead. Molly danced in the cold, waiting for the Mighty Nein to greet them, his black swords stood out against the snow.

"We never did go waltzing." Molly mused. Caleb, still wearing the large colorful coat, but this time layered with cotton to keep warm. He smiled warmly. 

"I can work on adding a ballroom to the tower." Caleb promised. "We can talk about it later." 

"Promises, Promises." Molly giggled. 

"You two are worse than Yasha and Beau." A familiarly friendly voice rang out. 

Caleb and Molly smiled at Jester. There was a big hug with tears in everyone's eyes. Yasha pulled Mollymauk into a bone crushing hug. Caleb watched the hug as a small green goblin jumped into Caleb's arms.

"Caleb! We thought you were dead." Nott yelled.

"I'm alright. Let me set up camp and we can talk." Caleb smiled. 

"Just like that?" Fjord asked in disbelief. Both Caleb and Molly blinked in surprise. That voice was new. Neither Molly nor Caleb had any ground to comment, but it was new.

"We are not enemies." Caleb promised. "I missed all of you."

"We missed you too." Jester smiled. "You look good." 

"So do all of you." Caleb grinned and summoned the door to the towers. "Welcome to my tower. I hope it is to your liking." 

[kilannad]

Talks Machina style questions for Invictus you saaay 👀👀. (Only if you want, and if theyre not huge spoilers I guess 😂)

Artagan?? Shows up to help revivify Molly, and then poof? I guess, probably going to get addressed with Jester, and or Sprinkle the Undying Lich will show up soon? 😂😂

Is there any reason why the Moonweaver showed up as a kid instead of an adult?

(Uhh, think thats all I got, I think usually I just throw everything into a comment 😂 but these didn't really fit I guess. Good luck with uni! <3)

I will always want. This kinda thing makes me so happy because it means I get to dump exposition without doing an exposition dump.

So—Artagan. Will absolutely get addressed soon ish, probably near the end of this arc. I’m trying really hard not to just rehash all the OG story arcs because while sometimes that’s unavoidable (the Zadash/Trostenwald arcs to set up future things) I tend to fall into the trend of thinking: why read fan fiction that’s the same as canon when canon is right there? That being said: the larger, over arcing arc and BBEG that Invictus M9 will face is different than canon, mostly because I have Opinions on where canon ended that I won’t go into unless asked for that meta. Artagan plays into that arc in the sense that no matter what his opinions on it are, he’s now a god, or at least close enough to count. Which means he gets dragged into godly things and so is a little busy right now freaking out for Reasons.

Also, minor insight/spoiler I guess?? Artagan didn’t show up when Jester called to him because he was ashamed. In canon he managed to kinda, indirectly help with her rescue by being that one clerk at the Landlocked Lady who gave them directions and put them on the path to rescue Jester. Here, they never got that far because Essek, and so his hands were tied and he couldn’t do anything. Considering how much he loves Jester, and the fact that he can’t yet bring himself to acknowledge that kinda thing, it hit him hard.

As for the Moonweaver— the one time we see the moonweaver in canon (that I know of) is Rumblecusp, where she’s actively trying to be intimidating and scary. However, in EGtW, it mentions how she usually appears as a child, which makes a lot of sense when one considers she’s also the goddess of practical jokes. (Goddesses of the moon are also often connected to children/maidens in RL mythos but that’s a conversation for another time). I wanted her to be a child here because I think that’s the part of her Molly connects to the most right now (childish glee, arrogance, willingness to try anything, an almost mean disregard for what other people want (this is the man who makes every place better than he found it by his own definition no matter other’s opinions on the matter)) and she represents that here. Also, the thought of a child smiling over a dead body is creepy and I love it.

I loved getting this question and spending the time rambling so I hope you enjoyed!!

[corie-the-writer]

Won’t Let Go - Ch. 4

Tag List : @talicat713 @itsdesiree86 @halsteadsway @itmejado @toomuchtv95 @panaitbeatrice

Chapter 4 

Sophia had a blast at the cabin even though a part of her had missed spending time with Jay, especially since she had left right after they had sex for the first time. She had promised herself to make the most of the girl time with Sylvie, Stella, Emily and Kim in the cabin for the weekend. 

The girls had spent their days in the sun on the lake, even though it was starting to change from summer to fall, the day time the weather was still warm enough to enjoy the water. At night, they had spent their time drinking wine, watching movies and just lounging around. 

Sophia had text Jay the night they had arrived letting him know that they had arrived safely, and they were exhausted from the drive, they had headed to bed early to enjoy the next two days of doing absolutely nothing. The next morning Sophia had woken up to a picture text from Jay, he was giving her a pouty face claiming to smell like her perfume, and expressing that he was tempted to crash their trip to steal her away. Her heart swelled with the declaration, but promising to spend an entire evening with him once she had gotten back. 

During the day, Stella had convinced a group of young men to take them out on a boat, which was a lot of fun. They had learned to water board, each taking turns with one of the guys teaching them. There were a round of photos of each girl, and Sophia had sent a picture to Jay, showing him what she had learned. He had questioned who the man was on the board next to her, and she had decided to tease him a bit, and realized that he was a cute amount of jealous. Jay had sent her a number of photos the first day, one of him laying in bed shirtless, explaining that he had absolutely no plans, and then another photo later that night when he was at Molly's, saying that Kevin and Adam had hauled him out for a guys night since he was moping around. 

The second day Sophia had decided to spend time with just the girls, sending a text to Jay, letting him know that she wasn't ignoring him, but just wanted to stay present on their final day away. 

That day the girls had went to a cook out where the young men from the boat had invited them, since they were quite younger than them, they had introduced the girls to their parents, and some of the family members that were around, along with their friends. Once the cook out was over, they had went back to their cabin to swim around at the lake and lay out in the sun, just enjoying the scenery and peace around them for the better part of the afternoon. Once the sun had went down, they had decided to have a bonfire for a little while, enjoying a nice bottle of wine, and then headed inside to have girl talk. Sophia had been questioned about her relationship with Jay, and not really knowing the title of what they were, she admitted that they had slept together the day she had left for the trip. 

Later that evening once everyone was winding down for bed, Sophia had gotten the idea to call Jay while being a little tipsy. 

"Hey beautiful..." Jay began to answer the phone call but Sophia had cut him off with a frustrated sigh. 

"So what exactly are we?" Sophia questioned, "I've been drinking, the girls started asking what was going on between us and I'm just as confused as them." Sophia admitted, "Like is this just a hook-up?" Sophia started throwing out different labels causing Jay to let out a small laugh. 

"Babe, will you let me talk?" Jay questioned into the cell phone. 

"S..Sorry..." Sophia mumbled. 

"I like you Soph...a lot..." Jay started out and Sophia had let the wine brain take over and immediately thought the worst. 

"Oh god..." Sophia had stopped him, "I shouldn't have called..." Sophia grumbled smacking herself in the forehead, thinking that he was going to tell her that he wasn't interested in anything, "I'll let you go..." Sophia quickly added, she was slightly aware of Jay saying her name, but she had hung up the phone too quickly. 

Sophia tossed her phone onto the bed in the cabin and heard the phone ringing from the mattress. Sophia cringed not thinking clearly with the amount of alcohol she had consumed through that day, well into the evening.  The ringing stopped after a moment and then started back up again causing Sophia to stand up from the bed and looked at the cell phone as if it were going to grow legs and walk to her. Once the ringing had stopped, she was expecting it to start again and she let out a sigh of relief once it remained silent in her small room. 

Deciding to walk around in circles, Sophia had put her hands on her head trying to figure out what to do next, and she jumped and screamed when the door blew open to see Stella Kidd and Kim Burgess standing in the doorway with a cell phone in hand. 

"What the hell was that?!" Jay's voice came through the speaker phone of Kim's phone. 

"That was Sophia being drunk." Stella answered, "Now Sophia you're going to sit on that bed and listen to what Halstead has to say." Stella pointed to the bed with a stern look on her face and Sophia rolled her eyes and practically stomped to the bed. Once she had sat on the bed, Kidd leaned closer to the phone, "Go ahead Halstead." 

"Soph?" Jay's voice was gentle as he spoke over the phone, "I was saying that I really like you, a lot. I wanted to wait until you got back to have this conversation, but I want to make things official between us." Jay explained awkwardly, knowing that Kim and Stella were both listening. 

"Really?" Sophia's mouth dropped for a moment. 

"Yes really." Jay chuckled, "Do you think that you could call me so we can talk privately? No offense to Kidd and Burgess." Jay added. 

Sophia's cheeks were completely flushed in embarrassment but agreed to call him on her phone. Once Stella had confirmed to Jay that they would be back in town at eight thirty in the morning that coming morning, they said their goodbyes. 

Sophia had called Jay and was overly quiet, "I am so embarrassed right now." Sophia had admitted as she laid in the bed with Jay's hoodie on her, "I can't believe I'm wine drunk right now and turned into one of those people I loathe." Jay couldn't help but to laugh, "How much have you drank?" Jay questioned fighting back a yawn, already knowing that he had the next two days off. 

"Well, we've been drinking off and on since noon." Sophia admitted, "I don't think I am going to drink another drop of alcohol as long as I live." 

"That bad huh?" Jay chuckled, "Are you going to remember any of this conversation?" Jay questioned. 

"Oh I'll remember everything, I'll just have one hell of a hang over, and apparently wine makes me lose all common sense." Sophia explained, "So I'm really sorry for just jumping to conclusions. I sort of just panicked." 

"Well it's going on 2 in the morning and you guys are leaving in a couple of hours to head back, so you need to try to get a little bit of rest. So just know this, I want you to be my girlfriend, and I'll be waiting at your apartment for you tomorrow morning bright and early, and we are not leaving that bed for the next two days. Okay?" Jay spoke quietly and confidently, "And tomorrow once you've gotten the liquor out of your system we will talk, alright?" 

Sophia chuckled lightly, "Okay..." 

"Try to get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning." 

"Good night Jay." 

"Good night baby." 

 Sophia had felt the heaviness of her eyes, the smell of Jay's cologne lingering on the hoodie that she was wearing. Not caring in the moment that her skin was sun burnt causing her to be slightly cold as she lulled herself to sleep. 

The three and a half hours of sleep that Sophia had gotten was not enough to sleep off any of the alcohol that she had consumed. She had been grateful that Stella had shoved a large to go cup of coffee into her face as she got settled into the passenger seat of the jeep. Sophia was silently grateful that she wasn't the only one who was massively hung over. 

"So what did Jay say to you last night?" Stella questioned as she stopped off at a McDonalds for them to grab food for the ride back to town. 

"I uh...he said that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, and that he would be waiting at my place for me this morning." Sophia commented, "I'm trying to not get my hopes up because I think I'll be really sad if he's not actually there." Sophia added quietly, sleep filling her voice. 

"I think you'd be surprised." Stella commented as she pulled up to the window to grab the bags of food and drinks, "I've seen the way the guy looks at you since the moment he met you." Stella commented thanking the woman at the drive thru, then slowly pulling off, "I think he thinks you've personally hung the moon."  

"I just...I've never felt this way before. With Noah it was different. That was pure lust, but with Jay, it's lust and emotions, like everything all tied into one." Sophia explained grabbing the french fries she had ordered after taking a drink of her sweet tea, "I mean, everything is just different. When I'm with him, it's just like this huge sense of peace. It scares me because I don't know him all that well." 

"Well think about it like this..." Stella spoke with food in her mouth as she began driving on the high way, "He's a cop, a detective at that, so he has no criminal record which is a huge plus. He's served his country, and he's got a super level head on his shoulders. I mean hell, he punched a dude for grabbing your ass before he even introduced himself to you." Stella pointed out causing Sophia to laugh as she stuffed her mouth with more fries. 

"Okay, you gotta point." Sophia commented, "I think just with everything that happened with Noah, it's sort of made me apprehensive towards anyone." Sophia added. 

"Have you heard from him any?" Stella questioned. 

"No. Thankfully he had gotten mad enough when I left that he said, 'if you walk out that door do not think about coming back to me' like I had planned on it or something." Sophia chuckled fishing into the bag for her other food. 

"So I take it you haven't told Jay about Noah?" 

"What am I suppose to say?" Sophia questioned, "Hey Jay, I met this guy when I was traveling and I fell in love with his dick, and we have such great sex it turned into a toxic relationship, oh and he's a criminal but I'm not quite sure what he does exactly?" Sophia added causing Stella to snort with laughter. 

"Well I don't think I'd go that route, but obviously the relationship with Noah has caused a little bit of problems for you in trusting others, especially men." Stella suggested and Sophia gave a nod. 

"I'm sure I'll figure out what to tell him exactly when the time comes for it to be brought up. I still am not quite sure how to even dive into that entire experience." Sophia took a drink of her tea after finishing her hamburger, "Enough about me, how are you and Severide?" Sophia questioned. 

"We're really good." Stella smiled, "We are thinking about moving in together." Stella added and Sophia squealed with excitement, "We have been talking about it but we haven't quite decided yet what we're looking for in a house, so we sort of just pushed it to the back burner for the time being." 

"I'm so happy for you Stella! I think he's so good for you." Sophia grinned, leaning back into the seat, "Oh god, I can't tell if eating that food made me more intoxicated or more delirious." Sophia groaned, realizing that it was the lack of sleep doing it. 

"Well rest your eyes for a bit, we got about an hour left." Stella suggested looking towards the brunette, "It's fine Soph. You don't need to keep me company. It'll give me some time to annoy Kelly." Kidd commented. 

Sophia gave a nod and reclined the passenger seat just a little and rested her head against the head piece and closed her eyes, and before she knew it she was out cold. 

"Baby..." Sophia started to stir at the familiar voice, "Come on, open those eyes..." His voice was so gentle and quiet, causing Sophia to flutter her eyes open to see Jay Halstead in front of her. 

"You're here..." Sophia had commented lowly. 

"I told you I would be. Come on, let's get you inside and to bed." Jay ran a gentle hand across her cheek, then reached for her hand. Sophia had raised herself gently realizing her back was a little more sore because of the sunburn, and allowed Jay to help her out of the jeep. 

"Oh god..." Sophia groaned, "I need to shower." 

"Girl, I feel you." Stella agreed from the driver's seat, "I'll talk to you later Soph." 

"Bye Stella..." Sophia closed her eyes for a moment trying to focus her vision, "Oh wait my bags..." Sophia added as Stella began to drive off. 

"I already got them and put them upstairs." Jay chuckled wrapping his arm around her lower back, "Come on, I'll carry you." Jay added, "It looks like you're about to drop to the ground." 

"I feel like I'm about to drop to the ground." Sophia chuckled lightly, slightly squealing as Jay moved to lift her bridal style and carried her around the building to the side door that led to her apartment. 

"I wanna shower and then sleep for the next day." Sophia winced as Jay began to tread up the stairs, causing Jay to look at her in concern, "I got sunburnt yesterday, I'm a little sore." Sophia explained and Jay frowned a little as he reached for the door handle. 

"Here." Jay sat Sophia on her feet, "Go take a shower and get changed. I'm gonna go change into sweatpants." Jay commented as Sophia stumbled into the living room and towards the bathroom. 

Sophia had turned the shower on warm water, and stripped out of her clothes and let them fall to the floor. Noticing the tan lines, Sophia knew that this shower was going to suck tremendously, so she had decided to brush her teeth before setting pain to her skin. 

Once she had stepped into the shower and the initial pain had left she had turned the water a little warmer, and shampooed her hair, and then washed her body carefully, and then washed her face. She felt someone normal but was dead tired. After standing in the shower for a moment, she had turned the water off, grabbed a towel for her body and then a towel for her hair. 

Drying herself off carefully, Sophia had emptied her bladder, washed her hands and then headed into her bedroom to get dressed for bed. She had went to her drawers to grab a pair of panties and slipped them on, and then dropped the towel and Jay nearly gasped at how burnt she was. 

"Baby, do you have any aloe?" Jay questioned as he sat up in bed. 

"I'm not sure... the shower took the sting out of it, so it's not nearly as bad." Sophia had towel dried her hair before grabbing Jay's gray police shirt that was on the floor from him taking it off to get into bed, and slipped it on, and then tilted her head to put her damp hair in a bun, so it was out of her face. 

Climbing into the bed after turning on her fan, Sophia had stretched out her body and then curled up against Jay as he reached for the night stand lamp, and then wrapped his arms around her carefully. It didn't take long for the both of them to submit to the sleep they had been craving.

[cowboisadness]

Hang ‘Em High {Arthur Morgan x F!OC} Chapter 20

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x FemOC

Summery: Belle Hawthorne is high society looking to escape her mean husband. A robbery by the Van Der Linde gang could be her chance. Can she escape his cluches and possibly discover what love should feel like?

.....

Chapter 20

Arthur was more alert by the sixth day. Deciding to stay seated most of the time but also getting up to wander around camp with the aid of someone else, despite his displeasure of ‘needing to be babied’ as he put it. He was sitting up in his cot, his back leaning against the wagon with his journal in his lap. Sketching something by the looks of it with the way he carried the pencil across the page and his brows furrowed in intense concentration. He wanted the hangings to be tied back during the day now to let in some fresh air and probably not to feel as alone. He was always the most relaxed when he poured his thoughts and scribbled his findings into that little leather-bound book. No doubt keeping him grounded when everything around him became too chaotic to control. Glad I asked last night if I could see some of his newer drawings despite his soft protests that they weren’t anything worth looking at. The real Arthur laid within those pages. His attention turned to me as I made my way over with two bowls of stew. A smile gracing his face as he closed his journal and placed it beside him. 

“Went hunting with Charles this morning. Venison instead of rabbit so hopefully it’s slightly more edible.” I said, handing the bowl to him with a smile to match his. 

We sat in silence as we ate, both of us watching the others go about their business all around us. Abigail and John having yet another argument. Molly with her ever-faithful pocket mirror open in her hand as she fixed her hair for the hundredth time today. I never spoke to Molly the whole time being here, but it didn't take long to realise she only wanted the attention of one person here. Sean and Karen sat eating together by the fire, the latter laughing at whatever the former had just said. Javier cleaning his knife. 

Micah sulking outside of Dutchs tent as usual. Looking like a lap dog with separation issues. 

“Yer hairs nice.” He said quietly beside me, pulling me back from my observations. 

I couldn’t help the smile tugging at my lips, looking down to continue eating. 

“Thought it could help me be less recognisable.”

“Well, it looks nice on ya. Not that ya didn't before - just - smart idea,” He was stumbling over his words, stopping with a sigh and rolling his shoulder. 

He was starting to regain more movement and he was determined to keep it moving despite the pain. No doubt the whiskey he was constantly drinking helped.  Seeing him in constant pain from even minute movements had the guilt rattling within me. I needed to tell him. 

Placing my almost empty bowl down on the table I looked back out to the camp. Taking in a deep breath before speaking.

“I’ve been thinking...something needs to be done with Frank.” 

“You still wanting to kill him?”

“Well, yes,” I sighed “But, I don’t know. He won’t give up, that's clear enough.”

“Seeking revenge don’t help anyone. We will deal with him when the time comes.”

“When will that be? When others are hurt from his orders? When someone is killed?” He sighed then, his shoulders slumping. I watched him and waited. Maybe he had a plan or needed time to think of one. One thing was sure, Frank needed to be gone. 

“Let’s go down to the lake.”

We both walk along the lakeside, making sure to take it slow. His energy was still drained from the ordeal and healing and it would take a couple of weeks till he feels more like himself, but he knew that the injury would affect him for months if not the rest of his life. I know why he's suggested a walk and it's not just so he can escape from the constant noise at camp. But no matter how he tries I can't take my mind off what needs to be done. Living in fear until I or someone else is hurt because of this. I took some deep breaths, letting the fresh open air fill my lungs to steady myself in the hopes the waves of panic will be soothed.

“I want to thank you again for bringing me here that night,” I started with a breath, carelessly kicking the rocks at my feet. He hummed for me to continue.

“I’m a different person from who I was not so long ago. You didn't need to entertain what I was asking that night, never mind help me, but you did and it’s a kindness I don’t think I can repay. These people and the things I have learned, I just know I’m a stronger person because of it and it’s mainly thanks to you and I know I have the ability to actually stand up for myself thi-”

“Bella…” He interrupted to stop my rambling knowing full well I didn't even know I was. Total word vomit instead of saying what needed to be said. 

Another breath

“I’m going to go back,”

He stopped beside me but didn't speak. Expecting me to laugh and say ‘haha fooled you’ but this was no joke. I waited for some sort of reply but instead, he gave out an annoyed huff, looking down at his feet and then out over the lake as he shifted on his feet. Either from him still being weak or from the growing aggravation that was evident from the scowl on his face I did not know.

“I have to-”

“No.”

“Arthur I can’t just si-”

“Are you a fool? You really think going back to him is the smartest idea?”

“If it means you and everyone else will be safe. Yes.”

“I don’t know where your head has been all this time but in case you aren’t aware this life we live ain’t been safe for a long time. We been fighting O’Driscolls for years an’ that ain’t stoppin’. Pinkertons breathing down our necks and you really think we will be any safer if you go back to that sorry excuse of a man?”

I tried to think of something, anything, to say, but my mouth just kept bobbing open and closed like a fish desperate for water.

“And what about your safety?” he continued with a raised voice, taking a few steps forward to close the gap slightly. Making sure no words of his would be lost between us.

“You believe going back to him is better than having me and the others here to protect you?”

Swallowing the lump in my throat and taking in an unsteady breath, I looked away from him and out into the horizon beyond the lake. The reds and oranges filling the clouded sky as the sun began to settle beyond the edge. The distant haze dulling what would be a vibrant and beautiful night thus bringing the promise that the day’s end would be a dark and unsettled one. My mind felt just as hazy. 

“This is all my fault,” I whispered to myself, to him and to the descending sun. 

“You’re staying here where I know you will be safe” he concluded with a snarl in his voice then turning on his heels back towards camp.

Keeping my eyes on the lake I couldn’t watch him walk away again. My shoulders slumping and determined to not let tears well in my eyes to the point of falling. What did I expect? I had to tell him in the hopes he would have a better idea of dealing with this. Instead, I just got reprimanded like a child and left in the dirt, again. 

I couldn’t face walking back into camp just yet so I made my way to the jetty, sitting on the edge with my feet just skimming the water’s surface. Keeping my eyes on the haze as it engulfed everything in the distance. 

I must have been there for hours, the nights chill had set in for good and the crescent moon was giving us whatever light it could reflect. Everything was in black and white. 

Footsteps on the jetty behind me caught my attention and a voice followed.

“You’ll catch your death out here.”

It was Abigail, coming to a stop behind me but still giving me some space. 

“You wanna talk about it?”

I just shook my head. 

“Ya know, talking about your worries does help. I know that’s rich coming from me since John and I shout at each other more than we talk.”  

I shook my head again, not able to trust my own voice. It was silent between us for a few moments, the only sound being the water lapping at the shore. I thought she might have left knowing she wasn’t going to get anything out of me until I heard her steady inhale. 

“This is a nice place to clear your head or get your head in order. Arthur was sat out here just this morning, drawing in that little book of his... Drawing you.” She paused then, waiting for a reply that wouldn’t come before giving up and continuing.

“I’ve been with this gang for many years. He truly cares about you.” 

Then she left, her slow footsteps getting quieter and quieter until all I could hear was the water again. Lower lip now quivering. 

I stayed in that spot for a while longer, could have been a few hours. The moon now high in the sky when I turned my head towards the camp. It looked quiet. Everyone must have been asleep by now. 

So I made my way over, the chill now felt in my bones as I made my way over to my tent. Glancing around the camp to see it empty and quiet apart from the recognisable snores thanks to Uncle.

Everyone was asleep. 

I didn't have much to pack. A few clothes and my gun. Tearing a blank page from one of the books Hosea gave me I scribbled hastily onto it. 

The coast was clear as I slowly made my way out of the tent, making sure not to wake the girls nearby by keeping my footfalls mute. 

But before making my way to the horses I made my way over to Arthurs tent. No light escaping from the bottom of the drapes that were closed meant he must have been asleep. 

I peeked inside to see him on his back with a blanket thrown over him. His breathing deep.

Step by step I made my way inside, watching over his sleeping form as I placed the scribbled on paper on the table, the flower in the jar taking place as a paperweight.

Glancing at him one last time before leaving and making a beeline towards the horses. 

Someone would be on guard but I wasted no time as I mounted Orion and made my way through the trees so I wouldn’t be seen by whoever was stood on the pathways. Withholding myself from looking back.

@kashasenpai @fallout-cowgirl @averyspicybaguette

[leonagw]

THE BASICS

full name: leona gwan meaning: leona derived from the latin leo for lion. nicknames: leo, dicaprio (both rarely, both not appreciated) alias: lady macduff date of birth: december 27, 1996 age: twenty-two gender (pronouns): non-binary (they/them) nationality: italian ethnicity: korean religion: aggressively atheist romantic orientation: panromantic sexual orientation: pansexual occupation: clinical toxicologist affiliation: montague role: meititrice (poisoner)

FAMILY & LIFESTYLE

place of birth: verona, italy places lived: verona, italy social class: upper middle class (raised), upper class (current) current residence: a one bedrooom apartment in a well-off area of verona. it’s relatively small, but leona doesn’t need much space. very stylishly decorated, but has a rather cold feel to it - not a place one would describe as homely mother: angela gwan (deceased) father: manuele gwan sibling(s): none significant other: none children: none pets: a fighting fish, linus (for linus pauling) education level: graduated from secondary school at the top of their classes, completed a bachelor of science (chemistry) at the university of verona, before completing an honours degree specialising in toxicology. completed a masters degree in pharmacology and toxicology at the university of verona shortly after this languages spoken: italian, english, korean, latin misdemeanours: none felonies: none alcohol: yes, they don’t often drink alone, they find it’s much more fun to watch the effects on other people than observe them on themselves. more of a social drinker than anything else drugs: name it, leona’s tried it, and will probably try it again smokes: no diet: they’re a fussy eater, and they maintain a fairly healthy diet. they learned how to cook from their mother, though they find themselves relying on takeout more often than not. a bit of a sweet tooth, they love pretty much anything sugary

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

face claim: moon ga young eye colour: dark brown hair colour: brown, dyed it blonde for a period in university but promptly determined this to be a mistake and returned to their natural colour soon after hair style: mid-length. often tied back, has a slight wave to it when worn out height: 165cm build: slim dominant hand: right distinguishing features: scent: antiseptic; sweet, fruity perfume; coffee; something unidentifiable but slightly acidic; bubblegum accent: italian allergies: shellfish fashion: for the most part, leona dresses sensibly but fashionably. it’s incredibly uncommon to find them in heels, as they often spend long periods on their feet. whatever they have on needs to be able to fit under a lab coat, so they’re not a fan of layers unless it’s particularly cold or a special occasion. some examples of what they may wear can be found here, here, here, and here. nervous ticks: truth be told, leona doesn’t have a lot of tells for when they are nervous. one way to figure out if they’re worrying is that they will often speak more quickly and use more words than they usually would, tripping over themselves in their haste. they also tend to fidget a little more with their hands when they normally would not, and prefer being able to move around when they’re nervous. to those who don’t know them, it might be difficult to pick up on this, but anyone who has known leona long enough would be able to figure out when they’re nervous quirks: talks to themselves while they’re working to make sure they don’t miss anything; snorts when they really, really laugh; nostrils flare and pupils dilate when they’re angry; more talkative while inebriated

PERSONALITY

mbti: intp-a, the logician (great analysts and abstract thinkers, imaginative, honest and straightforward, objective, private, insensitive, absent-minded, condescending, loathe rules) alignment: true neutral (diplomatic, judgemental, enigmatic, aloof, distant, self-reliant, indifferent, impartial) enneagram: type five, the investigator (perceptive, innovative, secretive, isolated, alert, insightful, curious, independent, inventive, idiosyncratic) temperament: choleric (ambitious, passionate, focused, efficient, practical, aggressive, domineering, inflexible, impatient, argumentative, lack empathy) western zodiac: capricorn (prudent, ambitious, patient, disciplined, pessimistic, fatalistic, grudging, persistent, unforgiving, condescending) chinese zodiac: rat (suspicious, conservative, short-sighted, logical, hard-working, adaptable, self-disciplined) tarot card: the chariot (upright: success, ambition, determination, willpower, control, self-discipline, focus; reversed: forceful, no direction, no control, powerless, aggression, obstacles) positive traits: focused, ambitious, headstrong, inventive, curious, perceptive. negative traits: emotional, judgemental, impatient, recalcitrant, aggressive, argumentative. humour: sarcasm & science puns. that’s it. leona has a rather dry sense of humour - most people might not realise they’re kidding when they make a joke, which makes it all the funnier to them.

LIKES & DISLIKES

indoors or outdoors? indoors favourite colour: blood orange favourite book: american gods, neil gaiman & the solitude of prime numbers, paolo giordano favourite movie: the emperor’s new groove (2000) favourite food: hotteok ( how their mother used to make them ), spinach & ricotta ravioli favourite song: don’t play, halsey favourite music: leona isn’t particularly picky with their music. they don’t enjoy anything too soft or folksy, preferring loud music that says something coffee or tea? coffee drink of choice: espresso martini (alcoholic), chocolate milkshake (non-alcoholic)

SKILLS

physical strength: 4/10. this is certainly not leona’s strong suit. they’re tiny, and the closest they’ve ever come to a gym was the sidewalk out the front. offence: 4/10 if they’re going hand-to-hand, 9/10 if they’re allowed to use weapons ( namely, their poison, the other person wouldn’t stand a chance ) defence: 6/10. this is a little higher than offence as they’ve taken a few self-defence classes through their youth. not much has stuck, but they’re relatively confident in the fact they’d be able to escape an unprepared attacker. speed: 8/10. leona is quick, both physically and mentally. they even walk fast, and a slender figure and nimble hands help them out considerably. accuracy: 9/10. leona is nothing if not precise - if they can’t do it well, they won’t do it at all. agility: 7/10. tying into their speed, leona’s short stature helps them quite a bit in this regard. stamina: 5/10. leona is not the kind of person who can just get up one day and run a marathon - they’re fast in bursts, but that’s about it. their mental stamina is closer to 10/10 - they don’t give up when they see a challenge, even if it kills them. intelligence: 9/10. leona’s mind is their greatest weapon. it’s their most prized possession. they’re incredibly book smart, and quite perceptive in social situations. they might even be a 10/10 here if their emotions didn’t often cloud their judgement. teamwork: 5/10. leona doesn’t generally play well with others, but they are ( usually ) able to swallow their pride and do so for the sake of progress.

PLAYLIST

are you satisfied marina cop car mitski don’t play halsey you should see me in a crown billie eilish natural imagine dragons prom queen molly kate kestner crack baby mitski angry too lola blanc forever... (is a long time) halsey

[seaweedinthebrain]

Why I Think Wolfstar Is Actually Canon (because I'd die for them and spend too much time in love with their relationship)

before I start, just some quick statements:

1- this is extremely long but it took a good while to elaborate it in a way that makes sense outside of my messy brain so bear with me here

2- it is way out of my comfort zone to talk about or properly annalise canon itself because I hate angst, hate J.K Rowling and the way she wrote some situations and characters, and the unfairness of the Marauders Era story makes me sob, BUT I love the HP universe and Wolfstar, so I had to go into this.

3- everything in this post is my personal interpretation of them, so if you don't see it the same way, good for you honey, don't come at me

4- basically all in here is based on other posts I've seen about the topic because I have the memory and attention span of Neville Longbottom, therefore would never notice most of these details by myself. also, even the "main" theory described isn't news to most of the Wofstar fandom, as I've read similar ones in lots of fics and headcanons. so, if you're used to reading Wolfstar, probably most of this post won't be much of a discovery, but I'm actually proud of how I thought about the end, so I would love if you read it anyway.

so, starting with the stuff in the books that I see as evidences of their relationship.

first of all, they are the representations of the stars and the moon and that is already enough reason for me to love them, but anyways...

• it took Remus only a look at the Map, a little deduction and a nod to solve 12 years of a fucking gigantic misunderstanding in PoA. clearly, he really wanted to believe Sirius;

• when Snape ties Remus with that spell during the Shrieking Shack scene in PoA, Sirius immediately tries to attack him;

• honestly, they repeatedly talk with their eyes and move together in that scene as if it was routine, even after 12 years apart;

• they lived together while Sirius was in hiding until his death;

• I'm pretty sure they gave Harry joint presents or something like that;

• Sirius defended Remus when telling Harry about how him and James were idiots during school;

• Remus is apparently the only person who can control Sirius when he's angry (because we all know Pads is an explosive temperamental little bitch). that happens both in PoA, when he stops him from killing Peter before they explain the situation to Harry; and in OoTP, when Sirius and Molly are fighting, things start getting loud, and Moony just goes "Sirius, sit down.";

• the famous Fourty Line Stare scene in OoTP, in which Remus stares at Sirius for FOURTY FUCKING LINES NON STOP.

now that the actual registered-in-the-story evidences are out of the way, let me get into my theory:

they realized they liked each other as more than best friends around fifth year or so. (Lily was the first to find out, since Remus and her were really close, than Peter. it took James weeks to notice cause he's an oblivious idiot). after graduating and entering the Order, they lived together, until things fell apart. the war brought suspicion and paranoia, so they started doubting each other, as it's said in PoA that Sirius thought Remus was the spy. the fights started getting worse and they broke up. it's not that they didn't love each other anymore, but no relationship survives without trust. (personally, the Mamma Mia! version of "Knowing Me, Knowing You" by ABBA reminds me of this part of the theory because I'm silly and need a musical background for everything).

a few months (?) pass and the Halloween of 1981 happens. Sirius goes to Azkaban, mad with guilt for convincing James and Lily to use Peter as the Secret Keeper and also for thinking his own boyfriend was the traitor. Remus is heartbroken, angry and alone.

jumping twelve years in the future, Sirius sees Wormtail in the Daily Prophet given to him by the Minister and manages to run away from prison, walking all the way to Hogwarts. Remus is hired as DADA teacher. PoA happens, they reconnect. first as friends, but then they realise the love never disappeared, so after a lot of late night relationship discussions, they decide to try again. it is not the same, because they are different and way more damaged people, but it still works just as it did when they were younger. well, until Sirius dies, obviously.

now to the next stage of Remus' life and how I think it connects here. Ronks.

(btw I don't ship it, but we're talking about canon here and I like Teddy, so I can't just ignore it)

let's face it, they were in the middle of a war. there's no way Sirius and Remus never had the "what if one of us dies?" conversation. I think they agreed that if it came to it, the surviving one had to try and move on, something neither of them were able to do during those 12 years after the Potters were killed. (I also headcanon that Sirius knew Tonks truly liked Remus and secretly hoped they could work out in case something happened to himself, because he trusted his cousin would be good for him. but that's besides the point). so, Sirius died. Remus was crushed and lonely. Tonks had also just lost her cousin. I think they were there for each other during an extremely difficult time and helped each other heal and grow. naturally, they grew closer. Tonks was already in love with him, but Remus refused to give in. this is the part where I had to think a little harder because I never cared to read much about the two of them together. "Why would Moony be so hesitant to enter a romantic relationship and be loved when he had already done it before?". follow my train of thought here. if I remember correctly, the explanations Remus gave for not wanting Tonks to be in love with him were that he was too old, poor, dangerous, scarred, etc. I think the reason why he was so hesitant to be with her while he wasn't like that with Padfoot when they got back together was: they had known and loved each other for almost their whole lives. there was not a single part of Remus, good or bad, that Sirius hadn't seen. Sirius, too, was broken, scarred, traumatised and old (as old as a person in their thirties can be, that is).

but Tonks was not like them. she was still young and vivacious, had a whole life of experiences ahead of her. he loved her, but was scared and as insecure as ever. he didn't want to hurt her because of his licantropy, didn't want to watch her realise the mistake of loving him after every one of his cards were on the table. but we all know her stubbornness won in the end, so the rest of the story doesn't have to be told.

again, don't ship it, but Remus is my favourite character (ever) and it warms my heart to know that, even in the canon that I don't love that much, he didn't die lonely and sad.

and as a last comment, "Oh, but then why did Harry never find out about their relationship?" listen, I love Harry, but he's just as an oblivious idiot as his father was, and also didn't see them all the time. I think it would be pretty easy for him not to notice.

if you survived until the end, I'm sorry. hope it all makes sense, though. drink water, wash your hands, stay safe, and read Wolfstar fics. they're my ultimate OTP.

[pendragonfics]

living with feelings

Paring: Caleb Widogast/Reader

Tags: gender-neutral reader, gender-neutral pronouns, alternate universe - canon divergence, canon-typical violence, Caleb Widogast needs a hug, Caleb Widogast deserves nice things, canon-compliant, spoilers for Critical Role s2 ep1-20, light angst, ambiguous/open ending.

Summary: the reader moves alongside the nein as they journey from Zadash.

Word Count: 2,599

Current Date: 2019-11-01

You knew you didn’t have to stick around, but there was nothing left for you in Zadash, ever since Beau and Fjord walked in on - saved you from your stepfather’s cruel intentions in the back of his store in the Pentamarket. Especially now since the Crowns’ Guards were moving to the border, and the motley crew of The Mighty Nein were making headway to Berleben on business for The Gentleman.

The first day of travel was the hardest; you’d never ridden a horse before, and by the end of the day, you were saddle-sore and sad, aching and somewhat regretful and afraid. What if you’d made the wrong choice, abandoning the city life? It had been horrible, so horrible before, but out here on the road, there was so much that could go wrong.

Before the next uneventful day of travel, you approached Jester for a poultice for your aching thighs. But instead of the remedies of herbs and medicine, you were raised upon, the adorable blue tiefling touched your nose and cast cure wounds. It felt like taking a bath in a once-warm tub of water, except…not.

“Thank you,” your words came out nervously.  

You instinctively go to touch where it doesn’t hurt anymore, but there isn’t any pain. You’re not used to your new clothes, and where you had been hurting is now well-hidden underneath the layers of your pants and pantaloons.

She glowed, poking her tongue playfully your way. “You’re very welcome, ________!” she replied, her thick accent mincing her pronunciation in a lovable way. “If you hurt more tonight, I can fix it again!”

“I’ll be sure to remember that.” You thank her once more and mount Mollymauk’s horse for the second day in a row.

They were peculiar names, but Nott told you that they had lovely meanings that her people valued. While Mollymauk hitched Loo and took the cart, Jester on watch, the rest took to horseback. Fjord took time between walking beside and riding his stead, and Beau scouted ahead. Nott sat at the back of the cart, swinging her legs. However, the one who you were drawn to - Caleb - kept quiet.

It seemed he never spoke more than a few words.

You’d met him before the rest of the Nein; he had wandered into your stepfather’s bakery. In `, he’d asked to purchase a loaf of bread. While your stepmother had admonished him for not speaking Common while in the Empire, you replied in his tongue as soon as she was out of earshot. He hadn’t ever been the most mysterious face you had ever seen, but he sure was the most attractive one. You hadn’t noticed that he had slipped you an extra silver until he had left the store. You held the extra silver in your palm until it grew warm, and as you left the storefront, you held the coin tight, and it bit into your skin, hard.

It was one more silver than anything you’d ever had to yourself.

---

W.C. whinnied as your ankles spurred at his sides. The horse began to trot past the cart. As you were led to the front of the Nein, you watched as Beauregard looked you over, as if her monk-trained eyes could see through you.

“Have you ever left Zadash before?” Beau asked, raising a brow.

You swallowed thickly. While boisterous Jester seemed to get on well with her, you weren’t sure how to approach her, you were raised to be not heard, and not seen, and wished very much to be those things when she seemingly interrogated you.

“I - not that I remember,” you respond anxiously.

“Do you have a shitty memory, ________, or…?” Beau asked.

W.C. continued to trot alongside Crapper as you carded your fingers through his mane. It wasn’t the softest, and your fingers grew more and more caught as you pulled them through, but it soothed your wandering hands.

“My parents were forced to move to the city after our village was overtaken by Gnolls,” you reply. You add, almost an afterthought, “I was a baby.”

You noticed that Caleb had neared, his horse going between Beau and yourself without much instruction from the way he held the reigns. Silently, you thanked the Gods for Loo’s little intervention. There were few things you cared to talk about, and one of them was how you came to the city.

While Caleb smelt better, you noted that there were smears of dirt across his cheeks. You wondered if he did it on purpose, imagining Caleb sitting by the edge of the road with his fingers in the mud, applying it to himself just like nobility and their obsession with cosmetics.

“Why do you care so much for ________’s origins?” He asked, his accent thick. You glanced between the pair of them just in time to see Beau scowl at Caleb - not that her usual facial expressions were too dissimilar to that, anyway.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s just really suspicious that they met us like, twice, and now are -,”

“I’m right here,” you spoke up.

“If you want to establish mutual trust between our new travelling companion, by extension do you wish to share to the group about your own background?” Mollymauk spoke up, the cart catching up to you three.

“Oh, fuck off,” Beau told him. She dug her heels into Crapper and went off to scout further along the path.

Molly shrugged and relaxed the pace of the cart to fall behind once again. You silently thanked the Gods once more, and the purple tiefling himself for his perfect timing. But aloud, you hummed and looked to Caleb.

Before you could add anything, he simply went to follow Beauregard, leaving you between the group like a stone stuck in a shoe. You glanced to Molly, but he wasn’t paying you any mind, instead, he was chatting idly with Jester. One person who did catch your eye was Nott. Her wide yellow eyes met yours and gave you a look that made you wonder if she knew something that would explain why Caleb acted the way he did. But she didn’t say a word.

---

You woke up too late, jostled from consciousness as you heard Caleb cry out in pain. By then, the horses - all tied to the cart for the night - were spooked and fled. It was horrible luck that you slept atop the cart rather than beneath, and as they ran off, you were carried away. But there was just enough time for you to notice that there were goblins - more than you’d ever seen in one place in your life! - and ogres and wolves and it frightened you to your bones.

In amongst the melee, you were stunned, and as the horses kept on going, you clamoured for the reigns, doing your best to try and lead them from harm. On one hand, you knew that the Mighty Nein was a travelling band of sellswords for coin and that they could handle the intrusion to the camp, but you felt a rush of fear thinking of Caleb, wounded.

You don’t know how long it took, there was no moon to see what hour of the night it was, but soon enough you had the horses calmed, and feeding on a saddlebag of oats. You couldn’t see fire the Nein lit at the camp from where you were the horses fled to, and it worried you a small amount. But it was no fear that compared to the fact that you were the lone protector of the horses and cart and the treasures and stores that the Nein had collected over their journeys.

There was a rustling in the bushes. Your blood froze, and without thinking, you picked up one of Nott’s daggers left at the front side of the cart and hid behind a wheel.

It was almost too dark to see, but there was a goblin there, no, two of them. They certainly did not look like Nott; they had broken teeth and one had a carving taken out of its body, smelling of fresh ichor. You kept still in your hiding spot, grasping the blade with two hands even though it only required one.

They chattered between themselves, until you heard more noises, and witnessed light growing nearer. The goblins scampered off, but you could hear, could see that they had a bag stuffed with things that you knew came from the cart.

Despite the fear, you felt a fury come over you, and stealthily, you followed suit. You almost didn’t get out of the way soon enough, dodging a spell cast to the fleeing goblins, as one was hit with magical orbs. As soon as they impacted, the goblin was no more - and it certainly smelled that way. But the one that was holding the bag kept on, and you did to, this time without the element of stealth in your favour.

The goblin turned, seeing you approaching. Its stride was no match for your human legs sprinting after it, and you threw yourself at it before it had a chance to reach for its own weapon. The bag was abandoned as it went to protect itself, but the dagger found itself buried in its chest, and again through its throat.

The Nein found you there sometime later, with bloodied hands and sick down your front. You don’t remember who helped you to your feet, or who sacrificed their canteen to clean you off, but soon you were in the cart once more, the horses and it led back to the fireside.

---

“I didn’t know they had it in them to -,” Fjord spoke, his accent was unmistakable through the haze of shock that shrouded your head. You still had it even though you had slept through to the dawn, and you couldn’t help but feel weak. “Those goblins almost got away with a pretty penny.”

You stirred at pretty, looking to the Nein, searching for one person.

“They’re awake!” Nott cried out.

“Where is Caleb? I heard -,”

Yasha stepped aside. You hadn’t thought of her as so large a woman, but as she did so, she revealed what was hidden behind her. In the light of day, you could see Jester beside Caleb, his face looking your way at the mention of his name.

“He’s going to be okay, don’t worry you guys,” Jester responded, and scowled. But the anger wasn’t becoming on her face. The emotion looked like she was a small child in a petulant mood, rather than being upset that the Nein had nearly been murdered in their sleep. “Did you see, ________? Molly killed a wolf that was sleeping!”

The purple tiefling sighed. “It’s out of its pain now.” He said. Perhaps he wasn’t fond of the attention that he was getting for the deed.  

“________,” Caleb spoke up. There was an element in his tone that you weren’t used to hearing, and it confused you, perhaps more so because of the wooziness you felt. “I heard - is it true? You -,”

You looked to your hands. Even though they were washed from the blood that you had spilled, you could almost feel it on your fingers, sticky and warm and grotesque. Never in your life had you ever killed something, apart from a cockroach or a stray spider from your bedroom. And yet -

“I don’t know what came over me,” you whisper, somewhat aghast. “It took -,”

“It’s all my fault,” Nott spoke up, climbing into the wagon. The words you were going to speak fell dead on your lips, and you listened to her. “I told those goblins to go after the cart. I didn’t know you were with it, and I didn’t think - I’m glad you’re okay - Caleb was poisoned, and I needed to even the odds for us.”

“Oh, Nott, it’s not your fault,” you touched her small green hand, meeting her yellow eyes. “All things considered.”

“Yeah, all things considered, ________ handled themselves pretty fucking well,” Beau interjected.

“You seem to be a warrior in the making,” Yasha spoke up, a small smile ghosting her lips.

You sit back, feeling another wave of dizziness wash over your thoughts. Even though you passed out after the kill, it seems that finally the adrenaline is ebbing away, and you’re left feeling as you usually do. Like a copper in a pot filled with gold and platinum.

---

Another day’s journey brings the next night, and tonight, you can see the storm approaching from the horizon as dusk falls. While the Nein make their preparations for the night, eating rations and storing things that shouldn’t get wet, you find yourself in proximity to Caleb as he murmurs an enchantment on Nott, to make her immune to the rain’s touch. As soon as he’s done, he catches your gaze.

“What is it?” you ask, feeling unsure. “You’re looking at me funny.”

Caleb blinks, “Funny, how?” His Zemnian mother tongue is thick tonight.

You take a deep breath, before elaborating. “I don’t know…it’s like whenever you look at me, you’re pitying me.”

“I don’t pity you,” he says quietly.

From somewhere far off, thunder crackles, and you feel a chill sweep your spine following a breeze. It has only been half a week on the road, travelling with this group, and you’re feeling both alien to their lifestyle, and yet, settling in comfortably.

“Then what, Caleb?” you ask, words soft so that none other can overhear you. “What do you feel when you look at me?”

“I - I wish I was you.” He replies.

For a startling moment, you know that he’s being completely honest. It takes you a second to comprehend; he’s a wizard, powerful in spellcasting and strong in his mind in ways that you can’t help to be. You’re just…a product of your breeding, passed between caretakers until you were no longer in the home of your own blood. And he -

“I have seen, no, I have done horrible things,” he says, “things that are sure to warrant me to never rest. I am not the man you think me to be, and yet, when I look at you, I see so much, I see -,” he catches his breath. “I see a person, so raw, so beautiful! So full of potential.”

You swallow, the lump in your throat refusing to leave. “I’m nothing of those things, I’m just - I’m just - me. ________.”

“You are ________, a warrior in the making. You slew a goblin none of us could, and in doing so, saved my very precious collection of paper and ink,” he reiterates. “You might not think you are a warrior, but -,”

“Is that why you gave me that silver piece?” you ask him.

Caleb chuckles, but it is quiet, almost under his breath. “No, meine liebe,” he says. “I thought you to be beautiful, and in more need of the coin than myself.” There’s a look in his eyes, and you can’t place it. But then you realise that he just called you those things. It all clicks into place, like a rusted metal puzzle toy. “If you don’t reciprocate -,”

“I do, I -,” the words don’t come out right, but it doesn’t mean you feel any less for Caleb. “I feel the same way you do. I’ve never felt this way before, forgive me.”

“I am an unforgivable man,” he replies, the words coming easily to him. “If all I am asked to overlook is your shyness, your hesitance, then I am not to forgive, but to love you even deeper.”

[grimmseye]

A Bird in the Hand: Chapter Three

Read on Ao3 here!

Rating: T

Fandom: Critical Role

Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast (eventual)

Chapter Characters: Mollymauk Tealeaf, Essek Thelyss

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Molly Rez, Amnesiac Mollymauk, Oh My God They Were Roommates, Shopping Episode, Mental Health Stigma, Molly’s Not Okay, Essek Isn’t Either But He Sure Can Pretend

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The bed was the single most comfortable place Mollymauk had been in his entire life.

His entire memory consisted of about a month or two or three of running amok in between: sleeping in the dirt, fighting or running for his short fraction of a life, and passing out in the dirt again. Rinse and repeat until he was here, in a bed that was actually worth more than a few silver pieces a night, and he was certain that he never wanted to leave. The warmth of the blankets and the comfort of the mattress and the pillow under his head granted the deepest sleep he knew of.

He was clean. His back didn’t hurt. There were no screaming monstrosity trying to eat him. Life just might be a thing worth living, Mollymauk realized. Up until now, it had just felt like an exceedingly cruel joke.

The clattering downstairs was a bit less glorious. He buried his face in the pillow, trying to block out the sound. This was his home now. Forever. Warm and soft and safe, always. Luxury was the only way to live.

Except he did have to piss. And there was a hunger gnawing at his stomach. The prison hadn’t granted him much in the way of meals, nor had Essek offered one last night, which was yet another strike against his hosting ability. And so began Mollymauk’s valiant effort to convince himself that getting out of bed meant relieving all the aches and insistences of his body.

Once he’d eaten, he could simply return to bed, Molly reminded himself, and that was the final burst of motivation he needed to let his hooves touch the floor.

Clean, folded clothes were set just inside the door. He’d slept through it being opened, apparently, something that would have gotten him killed out in the wilds of Xhorhas. Perhaps that was what hedonism meant, self-indulgence to the point of destruction.

Worth it, he snickered, pulling his clothes on before wandering out into the corridor. A trip to the bathroom later, he was sliding down the stair’s rail and to the first floor, following the scent of a slightly-burned something to the kitchen.

Essek was wearing an apron. The material was stiff, like a gift given and never worn, and the straps were tied in a knot that would be a pain to undo later. Still, Molly leaned in the doorframe, smiling to himself at the sight of the respectable Shadowhand grimacing over a pan of sausages.

“Staring at ‘em won’t get you far,” Mollymauk informed him, enjoying the stiffness that jerked into Essek’s back. It eased a moment later, and he had to admit he was impressed by the man’s poise as he turned around to give a perfectly polite smile.

“I hope you’ve rested well,” Essek greeted. He waved to the pan, saying, “I’ve only just started cooking.”

Mollymauk scanned the rest of the kitchen. There was only the one pan on the stove. Only sausages were in the aforementioned pan. No bread or eggs or porridge or anything at all to go with it, traditional breakfasts be damned. “Do you just have that, or…?” He let the question trail out.

Essek frowned at the pan. “I had some groceries sent over, so I need to look through those to determine what would go best with this.”

“Probably should have started with that. Meat cooks fast, and it’ll be cold by the time anything else is ready.” Molly trotted into the kitchen, making a beeline for what was probably the pantry, hanging off one door as he swung it open. He grabbed a loaf of bread, searching for the knife drawer as he chirped, “This will do! Do you want butter, jelly? Do you have those, actually, before I go too far.”

“Butter, yes,” Essek said, watching him with a furrowed brow. Molly hummed as he found the toaster, clamping each slice between metal bars and lighting another flame at the stove to toast them. “And, I am sure they brought preserves of some kind.”

“Wonderful, wonderful.” Perhaps it wasn’t the three course breakfast in bed he would have liked, but the way his stomach was growling, the room-temperature bread alone was looking pretty delicious.

Something took the toaster’s handle from his grasp. Molly blinked in surprise as he watched it continue to turn without his grip, held aloft by an —

“Invisible servant,” Essek explained. “You should sit down. You’re my guest, don’t trouble yourself on my behalf.”

“If you insist,” Molly shrugged. The table was already set, and he had no qualms with falling into a chair to tip it back against the wall and watch Essek work. He was a meticulous fellow. As out of his element as he seemed, fumbling around breakfast plans and overlooking a guest’s needs, there was something very precise in the man’s every detail. The way he moved, drifting rather than walking. Long fingers, clever fingers. A spellcaster’s hands, something in his brain told him, though he didn’t know where it came from. Molly wouldn’t be surprised if Essek were timing things exactly before removing the pan from the stove, the toaster from the flame.

As elaborate as the display was, breakfast itself was comicall plain. Toast and sausages, served upon gilded plates over a pristine tablecloth, water poured into crystal glasses. Mollymauk couldn’t help but lean deep to one side just to check if Essek’s butt was seated fully in his chair, and he felt some disappointment to find that it was.

“I apologize for the simplicity of the meal,” Essek started.

Mollymauk rolled his eyes. “Quit apologizing. I’m still enjoying the bedrest afterglow and the sound of feigned guilt will ruin it.”

“Feigned guilt —”

“Or just shame for your performance?” Molly suggested. “I get the picture. All of this,” he waved to the room they sat in, “is a stage. To impress and entertain, and to follow the script. And you, my friend, are the fulltime actor now that I’m here. One person is always in the audience. And I don’t mean any criticism by that — well, maybe some, but I am a hypocrite. For some reason, I greatly respect the art of entertainment, so at the very least I’m not looking down on you.” He smiled.

Essek’s expression didn’t change, but there was something colder in the glint of his eyes. “You have quite the… active imagination,” he commented, perfectly polite as the script demanded.

“Thank you,” Molly grinned, all teeth.

Essek insisted he didn’t help wash the dishes, and for a blissful moment Mollymauk truly believed he would just spend the rest of the day in that lovely, lovely bed. Instead he heard, “Well, we should be heading out, now. We’ll get your measurements done first and then you can spend a few hours at the spa, if you would like.”

Spa was a word as sweet as bed. Mollymauk had his boots laced in a heartbeat. He looked up to Essek, just in time to be treated to the sight of the elf floating over a pair of fine dress shoes, his long mantle hiding them from view. A moment later, when he moved away, the shoes had vanished from the floor.

Molly sputtered. Essek gave him a Look, a furrowed both and a thin frown as Mollymauk wheezed out a laugh, shaking his head. “Nothing, it’s nothing,” he breathed. “How many of the fine folk here absorb their shoes each morning, or is it just a quirky thing you do?”

Essek opened his mouth. Sharp teeth, Molly noted, approvingly. He closed his mouth, drew in a deep breath, and sighed before drifting for the door. “It’s polite to arrive at your appointments a few minutes early,” he said, smoothly ignoring Mollymauk. “We should leave now to ensure that.”

“Sure, sure,” Molly smiled, sauntering after him.

The streets of the city were disorientingly dark. His brain insisted it was morning, and that they should be strolling through the pale light of the eastern sun. He remembered first seeing that eerie cloud during his journey, hanging in the distance and feeling like an ill omen from so far away. The road to his life, to filling the hole in his chest, sat under a curtain of black.

Now he knew it to just be thanks to the drow’s sensitive eyes. Essek’s were nearly pale as the moon, the softest lavender with no visible pupils.

As he stared, Essek’s ear twitched. His head turned faintly to the side, a glance through the corner of his eye finding Mollymauk’s. “What is it?” Essek asked, facing him completely.

“Oh, nothing,” Molly said. As sincere as the comment would be, strangers didn’t often appreciate his compliments, or took them the wrong way. Molly appreciated different things about the body — the way the merchant’s knuckles jutted out, and the fingers narrowed in between each joint, the lopsided quality to a bartender’s smile and his crooked teeth, or the eerie, nearly-snowblind quality to this dark elf’s eyes. Eerie wasn’t bad. Eerie was captivating, lured him in, left him incapable of looking away. Yet very few people would hear his words how he intended them.

Even with the deflection, Essek kept staring at him. Mollymauk only smiled politely and took hold of his own tail to twine it between his fingers.

They passed large, elaborate properties, many guarded or gated or both. Even once they left the residential area, it was clear they were in the upper class portion of the city. Every last person was dressed nearly as elaborately as Essek. They stared openly, too, and that pointed to being the audacious sort, which Mollymauk wouldn’t entirely mind if it weren’t so rude. He only shook his hair back and started whistling a jolly tune, letting his hooves clack on the pavement in time with the song.

Essek snorted once, what was possibly a laugh. Molly had to grin, counting that a considerable victory.

They hailed a carriage passing on the streets, letting it carry them the rest of the way. Their destination was a sight that made Molly’s tail twist with excitement: a single story building with glass windows displaying suits and dresses and jewelry and an entire array of gorgeous things to wear. Some were far too classy for his liking, but there were enough bold patterns to make him salivate.

They passed through glass doors, a small bell chining overhead. “If any of these are to your liking, you can tell Brirr,” Essek said, gesturing around the shop. “She’s quite talented at matching up your desire with something that will still look respectable.”

“You’re not gonna get respectable from me,” Mollymauk murmured, as he admired a set of earrings. One was a star, a golden stud matched with a dangling silver moon. There were ear cuffs, meant for elves but perhaps he could make them fit the shorter tiefling ears — there had to be variations, after all.

The browsing was interrupted by the seamstress’ arrival. Seamstress Brirr was a bugbear woman, her broad paws doing surprisingly delicate work as she took Mollymauk’s measurements and chatted him up. She questioned his style preference, and his answers seemed to make her eyes gleam. “As loud as you can get while still looking beautiful,” Mollymauk insisted. “Clashing patterns are fine, I can make them work.”

“I’m sure you can,” she rumbled, baring her teeth in a fanged smile. It would feel threatening if Molly couldn’t see his own delight mirrored back at him.

It took far less time than expected. She ushered them out, promising to send word as his outfits were completed, and taking a hefty bag of coin from Essek.

Mollymauk’s ears tilted back. “I didn’t realize how much that was going to cost you,” he started.

Essek waved it off. “The Mighty Nein are heroes of the Dynasty. The least I can do is provide clothes for their friend. We can find more basic wear around the other shops. And — this is yours.”

He passed a small box to Mollymauk, whose eyebrows crept upward as he examined it. Brirr’s name was written onto it in glittering gold ink.

The earrings were inside, the golden star and hanging silver moon. Mollymauk went still as he stared at them, stunned into quiet.

“... If you didn’t want them, I’m sure we could exchange them,” Essek started, when the silence stretched too long.

“ Nope. ” Mollymauk plucked the stud out, fumbling with his ear. “These are mine now, no takebacks.” He swallowed, and then smiled up at Essek. “Thank you. And, be a dear, would you? I can’t do this without a mirror.”

Essek paused before reaching, hesitantly, for the piercing. He was almost too delicate as he tugged Molly’s earlobe, feeding the point through and letting Mollymauk press the back into place. The same was repeated for the other piece, a comfortable weight swinging off his ear. His tail flicked back and forth in unison.

A steady warmth welled up in his chest. He just might like Essek.

Darting from store to store was a process. Essek was silent as Molly browsed, and offered stilted, neutral commentary when asked for opinions. There was something absolutely delightful about dynasty fashion, and that was that with the number of elves with blue and purple skintones, there were more viable options for him than Mollymauk had ever encountered in his brief life.

It was with bags weighing his arms that they at last turned for the promised event: the spa. “This,” Mollymauk breathed, “is shaping up to be the best day of my life. Now, that wasn’t very hard to top, but I think you’re allowed to be proud of yourself.”

Essek let out a soft breath that Molly was starting to recognize as a laugh of sorts. “I’m… honored,” he said. There was a pause before he added, “You haven’t asked many questions.”

“Should I be?” Molly asked mildly, and then smirked. “Oh! There’s one.”

The humor seemed to be lost on his host, as he only said without missing a beat, “It must have been a harrowing journey to get here. It’s well known that the lands outside our cities are dangerous. And you claim that you came all this way, with no memory of the Nein you are pursuing, because of a note?”

“That’s right,” Molly nodded.

“And yet you haven’t tried to find out who they are.”

The words hung in the air a moment longer than they should have. Mollymauk’s gaze shifted away, a low hum sounding in his throat. Tieflings could purr, did so when they were calm and relaxed. A deeper rumble was reserved for the purpose of relax ing, soothing bristling nerves, and now his chest vibrated with that deeper sound. “It’s about the journey, not the destination,” Molly said. “But sure, I’ll bite. How about you tell me their names?”

Essek paused. “Well,” he said. “First, there is Caleb.”

A sensation of heat flashed over Mollymauk’s skin, like a hand drifted too close to a flame.

“There is Beauregard. Expositor Beauregard.”

A mixed sensation — the need to laugh and to snarl in the same moment.

“There is… Jester. Who very much lives up to her name.”

The snarl faded, just a smile, pure fondness and the want to laugh and to make laugh.

“There is Nott.”

An unnamed emotion. Suspicion, and appreciation. The respect for a good grift and the understanding he may be the next mark.

“And there is Fjord. He is typically well-spoken.” A note of derision entered Essek’s voice.

It was familiar to Mollymauk, comfortable and warm.

“And there is Caduceus. He is unusual, but has a keen eye.”

That one, Mollymauk felt nothing. He blinked, silenced by the sudden twisting in his chest. The hole bored just to the right of his heart was suddenly squirming, uncomfortable. This was why he didn’t want to know.

“Oh, there is one more,” Essek murmured. “She was gone for a long while. Yasha.”

It ached. He was nearly breathless from it, heat behind his eyes and a sudden yawning want, his skin felt cold, the air around him empty when there should be something filling up the space behind him, guarding his back, holding his heart. Delicate and dangerous as belladonna.

Yasha. Yasha. His heart, his heart was gone, that was the hole in his chest, hollowed out and, “Empty.”

The word was what caught Essek’s attention. Or, not the word, but the inflection behind it. It was the dullest he’d heard Mollymauk’s voice, and the sound was nothing short of alien.

“Empty,” he said again, but it shook this time. And then he gasped and clutched at himself, wheezing on a breath and stammering out, “Empty. Empty. E-empty, empty, empty.”

“Mollymauk —” Essek halted. The streets weren’t crowded, but those passing by had already been staring. Now they watched as the tiefling hugged himself and babbled, wide-eyed. The bags he’d been carrying slumped to the ground as he started to sink, until Essek moved forward to catch his weight.

Arms flung around him. He tensed, heart skipping with a brief panic before he realized Molly wasn’t attacking him, but clinging. He was shoving his face into his chest and muffling each empty into his clothes.

People were staring. A hot flush burned Essek’s skin as he burned magic far stronger than he should have to get the bags to lift themselves and travel along as he struggled to untangle Mollymauk’s grasp.

He sucked in a sharp breath, shutting off his own panic. Essek tipped Mollymauk’s chin up, forcing the tiefling’s wild eyes to lock with his own. “ Mollymauk ,” he crooned, enchantment lacing his voice. “ You’re okay. Just follow me and everything will be okay. I promise that you’re safe with me.”

The tiefling had been able to shake this magic before, but perhaps thanks to his scrambled mind, Molly’s eyes glazed over. The panicked breaths evened out. The hand still fisted in his clothes relaxed. Essek took it, leading him without resistance through the streets.

Enchantment was a dangerous school of magic. Few people appreciated having their minds toyed with, emotions changed, reasoning blurred. But this was necessary, Essek told himself. Mollymauk had been having some kind of a fit in the middle of the streets.

It wasn’t the first time he’d seen such a thing. Soldiers often collapsed into wails or tears or labored breaths. He himself had experienced these fits before. Stress weighing on the brain, he knew, all fairly common in his occupation but not to be witnessed. Not to be displayed.

He tugged Mollymauk along to a public park, to find a secluded spot to sit him down. A bench was framed by brambles, dark blooms resting among thorns. Mollymauk sat, stilted and doll-like, to stare blankly Essek’s way. He wasn’t charmed, just convinced of the truth Essek had told him: as long as he were here, as long as Mollymauk followed him, there would be no troubles.

Essek braced himself as he dropped his hold on the spell.

The light returned to Mollymauk’s eyes. There was a beat before he stiffened, and then leaped to his feet, pulling away from Essek. His lip curled, a snarl on his face as he bit out, “Do not — N'bb sph oep jlqh hnal.” A hiss of infernal rose from Molly’s throat, the hair at the back of Essek’s neck standing on end.

He raised his hands. “I apologize,” he said, and Mollymauk silenced to just glower and pant. “I apologize,” he repeated. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

The moment stretched out, the air thick between them. Molly’s tail twisted and lashed, and Essek’s ears pinned low. He saw the tiefling’s throat bob as he swallowed and puffed out a breath.

“Fine,” he said, short and harsh. None of Mollymauk’s jovial attitude remained, not in his posture nor his voice. “But do not do it again. This is why I don’t ask questions.”

“I understand,” Essek murmured. Calm and rational, that was what he needed.

He watched as Molly calmed himself. It was a visible process, grasping his tail by the base and sliding up to its spaded tip, like smoothing wrinkles from a garment. The tension dropped from his shoulders, he shook his head and swept his hair back into place.

“Okay,” Molly said. “I forgive you. But you had better get me to that spa now, or I’m rescinding my forgiveness.”

“Generous of you,” Essek gave a thin smile, one that didn’t betray his relief. He started forward again, saying, “Right this way, Mister Tealeaf.”

After a moment, he heard the clopping of hooves following. “As you command, Mister Thelyss,” Mollymauk called. It was pleasant to hear the smile in his voice.

[rosykims]

pilgrim's crown, springberry & st gyran's horn for saoirse !!

thank u mollie !!!

pilgrim's crown and st gyran's horn are answered here 💕

Springberry: How has your Watcher changed during the events in game? How different are they from where they began as part of the caravan?

oh god she changes SO much, she probably has the most chara development out of all of my ocs tbh. firstly just, personality wise, she gains a lot of confidence and self esteem and Love basically. she starts off so distrustful of a world thats hurt her so much, and believes that people ultimately are only in it for themselves, and so she acts accordingly to protect herself !!! she's literally NEVER had friends or lovers, never been intimate w anyone, never had any real connections aside from her sister . . . she wants all of those things, but is afraid of being rejected and hurt like she has been all her life and so she refuses to even try. after poe1, she realizes that theres a lot of goodness in the world and its worth at least Trying to being good in kind, and she has an obligation and the power to make the world better for herself and her sister instead of just,,,, idk. constantly running and Enduring things. also it gives her the push she needs to start gradually living for herself and not just for taking care of laoghaire, but thats more of a poe2 chara arc rly !

another big thing is her connection to the gods. bc she's a moon godlike, she's always been told that she was ~chosen~ by ondra and thats always left her feeling . . . rly rly hopeless and lost bc like Chosen For What... her life fucking sucks lol. she feels simultaneously like shes letting down a god who chose her for greatness, and also feels a lot of resentment bc she never asked for this, and it feels like she was given this form for no reason and its been nothing but a curse to her. like she was abandoned by ondra, or worse, that ondra made her like this for? what? a laff? anyway when she becomes a watcher she thinks THAT might be her purpose but still feels? Idk? unfulfilled? its only during white march when she gets that Iconic dialogue where she beats ondra in a debate and basically realizes that ondra doesnt have a Fucking clue what shes doing and genuinely has no impact on saoirse's life. so in a way thats like a huge weight off her shoulders – knowing that her life actually is her own, that she owes nothing to ondra or any god and she can make her own purpose yakno? it ties in w her becoming a little kinder, a little braver, a little more sure of herself..

flora of eora asks !