#how tf else am i supposed to get anything done

[frick-it-sugar-spice]

*stares in resigned anxiety*

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Draco malfoy headcannons

flavor: fluffy and smutish but they're separated so you won't get jump scared

Also I'm returning to my roots with this stinky mf okay I have writers block

Sfw

Liked you in the hallway crush type of way yk like when there’s that one person in the halls that you're like “god damn, anyways where’s my next class”

Never even tried to speak to you was just like ” I'll gaze from afar”

The only problem is that he has major resting bitch face so you were sat there racking your brain over what you could’ve possibly done to this random daddy’s money kid (like this isn't set in a private school but LOOK OVER THERE)

Confessed by just standing in front of you and 👁👁 before handing you an outdated birthday card with a 100 dollar bill inside with a note inside that was basically just him like “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE-“

You did give him a shot and he did actually speak words to you

bitchest bitch ever yall bicker (lovingly of course) 24/7

“did you for real just copy off of me?” “Okay well at least I don’t have daddy issues” “You cannot be talking and you know it”

He gives stick bug vibes yk

does not comprehend normal human life you could be complaining about doing laundry and he is like “Just have one of the elves do it?” and you are like “😶right so-“

just assume you have the answer to everything bc like you’re his partner? tf?

“how far away is Saturn in kilometers?” “They don't measure distance with kilometers, Draco, you dumbass. It’s called lightyears.” ‘right so in lightyears then?” “How tf am I supposed to know?”

he’ll hear a crash and look to you like you know what’s going on and you’ll turn his head back

I'm not one to assume someone’s sexuality but it's very much bisexual for the both of you (he likes guys and you know it)

a hot guy will pass and you both turn to each other like {insert Bratz meme here}

has created mustard gas on accident

laughs at his own jokes unironically (he is the only one laughing)

will try to be relatable and it's just like “yk that moment when your Prada shoes get gourmet chocolate on them”

makes up new names for your stuffed animals bc he thinks all the ones you picked were “lame”

his beauty sleep comes above everything else

Once Theo woke him up (there was a fire they had to evacuate) and the next night you found him hovering a pillow over Theo’s face you tackled him to the ground

Only knows how to play dominoes no card games or anything only dominoes

Bought you guys matching sleep masks

And embroidered PJs

And bunny slippers

PDA hater

He’ll sit next to you at max when you're around lots of people when you're just around his friends he's down with hugs and hand-holding holding maybe a cheek kiss but that's it

Alone is a different story he's attached to you he's actively trying to crawl under your skin as we speak

Terrified of bugs he's standing on a chair and screaming the second he sees one

Pays you in kisses when you take the bug outside (after you wash your hands)

Prefers baths over showers

Hates dogs and growls at them more than they growl at him

Only likes cats in theory bc they leave hair on his clothes

He's a reptile man

has owned a bearded dragon and will own more

Cold mf you wanna look me in the eye and tell me he has good circulation

Presses his cold ass feet against you while you're on the brink of sleep so confused when you swing your hand back to smack him

“I'm just cuddling you?”

“Cuddle somebody else fucking ice cube bitch ass”

Every single night

He sleeps on his back with his hands on his stomach like he's going to get lowered into his casket it's embarrassing

Thinks he knows how to shake ass and then when he tries (and fails) he considers never speaking to anyone ever again

Has gotten flirted with while he was with you and he just stared at them blankly bc he couldn't tell if it was happening

And then he left the room entirely

Walks in on people butt ass naked bc he has not learned how to knock (only child syndrome)

Stares a lot

He has nothing better to do so he’ll just come join you in your dorm and 👁hi👁

You've learned to block him out so he’ll scare the shit out of you

Sure he doesn't know how to flirt but he has money so he makes up for it

If you look at anything longer than three seconds he's following behind you with his card and the other twelve bags you have

This does have you ending up with things you didn't want so your friends love your random gifts

One of them will walk into potions with a luxury purse and one of the other kids will be like “tf Did you get that?” and your friends are like “🫵” And you're like “I didn't want it” So some of the student body does hate your guts just a little

favorite food is plain white rice

Thinks that acrylic nails go under the skin yk like in those videos with the fake hands pushing the nails up the finger yeah he thinks that actually happens to people

Jaw on the floor when you explain to him that's not what happens

Nsfw kinda

Down to three-way and will NOT let you forget

“I met this cute girl at the-” “I'm down. 😐”

“Oh did you see Harry this morning he was-” “Do you think he'd hook up with us?😐” “Babe. We've talked about this” “just once please”

Has asked you to peg him

unless you have a dick then he's asking for one of those two-way things (you're on my blog you know what I'm talking about dude)

Sub SUCK MY DICK DUDE HES A SUB SHUT UP

Actively begging sobbing on his knees “Please baby Please being so good please”

Would be a swinger and he'd have a pineapple on his front porch

Sorry

Has dabbled in the lockerrooms

Will ask you if the boys can watch him hit and you said only if they see him at his lowest begging and pleading for you he is silent as of now (give him two weeks)

Type of bitch to be covered in hickeys and when someone is like “What happened? To your neck?” and he's like “Literally what are you talking about?” will gaslight them into thinking there's nothing on his neck

Prefers cuddling naked but hates not immediately being in the bath after sex so he has to battle himself in his head

Can't dirty talk he's like “You look so nice when you're not in clothes? Do you like my wee wee?” and you're sitting there “bitch your what?”

Have resulted in him not being allowed to talk

Quickies number one hater

Needs his time to get into pussybitchboy mode

Okay bye

[littledollll]

Hellooooo, before I request anything I just wanted to let you know that your stories are super duper comforting. I get so excited when I see that you've posted, and I especially love re-reading your works when I'm feeling sick, or little or sad or you know...✨️other things✨️

I was reading up on Lucifer (The Sandman's) Wiki page, but the comic version, and I read that Lucifer can choose a soul's destination, and they killed someone by their own will, so that they'd be free from (I think) a demon's service.

Soooo I was wondering if I could request Lucifer x fem reader? They're in love but reader is a mortal, so they beg Luci to kill them so that 1) they can be free from this shitty world but also 2) so that they can be together.

And maybe Luci has to think of the nicest way they can kill their lover? Lots of comfort and angst please hehe. Also I hope this makes sense <333

-🧸 anon

Our forever

Lucifer x human!reader

a/n: random 2am writing motivation I’ve gotten 3 fics DONE ima see what else I can do until I knock tf out☝️

Warning: talk about death, like so much of it, like it’s basically the whole fic. Slight arguing but it’s bc they love eachother awww

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

“What?” The look on Lucifer’s face was of disbelief, truly they looked at you as if you were insane to even bring up the idea.

“There’s only so much time you can spend in the waking, and I have nothing here Lucifer. No reason to stay. So- kill me, we found a way to be together forever. You wouldn’t have to leave your realm constantly, I wouldn’t miss you so much, we could have so much time.”

Still, Lucifer looked anything but convinced.

“I’m gonna die anyways! I would preferred not having to wait like 80 years just so I can freely be with you.” You were stubborn but so are they. “Then wait. Why, why do you so freely wish to give up your life for Hell. What’s another 80 years if I’ll have an eternity with you by the end of it.”

“Wont I be like super old? You want to be with a super old me? I certainly don’t want to look any older than I am now for the rest of eternity, thank you!” That was a poor argument, you knew that. But you felt as if this was actually becoming an argument and you sure as hell didn’t want that to be the case.

“I can’t do that.” They quietly replied, hands coming up to cup your face. “Fuck the laws, since when are you anything but rebellious!” You were so set on this idea. Lucifer sighed, they almost looked, sad? “I don’t care about the laws. I care about you, much more than anything else, much more than I’d usually feel comfortable admitting. My darling, I can’t kill you.”

Sure you’ve been together for years, you know how you feel about eachother you know they love you more than anything. But hearing that admission, basically a confession- so openly made you pause. What are you even supposed to say after that?

“You die and then what? You just leave your whole life behind, quite literally. You simply move to hell? What comes after? What are your expectations, what do you want from this?” Being alive for so many eons you’d guess it’s impossible to stop thinking about the future, about any and all possibilities.

“Nothing! I just want to be with you. I don’t care what i have to go through or have to get used to once I’m there. I just want to be with you why is that so difficult to understand?” Why don’t 𝙮𝙤𝙪 understand.

“Hell isn’t me. You need to understand that, it’s not a book trope, it’s not a person who softens up to you. It’s a place meant for sin, judgment and punishment. Hell is not fun, it’s freezing, it smells of sulfur and smoke, there is no such thing as peace and quiet there. I can keep you sheltered inside the walls of my castle. Outside of that, it is just hell.”

“Then I’ll stay by your side, inside the castle, and I’ll learn. Id only have so many years to learn how to live there after all.” You’re not letting this go until they give in or the day you naturally die and they know that.

You knew their mind was running through every little detail of how this could work, of how they’d find the strength to actually kill you, how you could be by their side, how hell could actually be your home.

“Is this truly what would please you?” They searched your eyes for any hesitation, for doubt, but they couldn’t find any. “To start Our forever now? More than anything. I have nothing here to will hold me back, I have a home when I’m with you, Lucifer.”

Lucifer sighed, arms wrapping around you once again. “I, I will find a way, if you truly insist. I will ensure your comfort, that you are to die quickly and painlessly, and when you wake it will be in the safety of my arms.”

“I couldn’t dream of anything better!” You were visibly giddy now that you got your way. “Peculiar little being. Nobody has ever been this excited about death or hell.”

You giggled and spoke proudly, “Death is a friend, and the lord of hell is my lover, I wouldn’t expect to be called anything but peculiar.”

Was it a terrifying idea to Lucifer? Definitely. No argument there. But seeing how you practically lit up when Lucifer complied maybe made it all worth it.

[yonnkin]

How JJK men act on Christmas.

(December).

warnings: i am new and totally clueless spare me. uh... cussing i guess? tf am i supposed to write here :( and yes i am writing it in november. english is not my first language (will be open for some advices). i take it too seriously.

Gojo Satoru

He is the first to go for that fucking PINE tree, place it in the middle of the living room and decorate it. It doesn't matter that you are complaining because it's only the 1st and the tree made a big mess. Of course the christmas tree has to be real.

He makes you stay in the kitchen almost everyday for a few hours. Gojo had a sweet tooth and you just need to make him something. No matter what.

In your house you feel like in the store. Christmas songs playing over and over again. You start to wonder if He does it on purpose to piss you off or playing "Jingle bell rock" or different every other song just makes a full grown ass man happy.

He doesn't wait til' morning for the gifts. After Christmas Eve He just can't sit straight and wait til' everybody is done eating and talking so He can get his hands on those bags and boxes. You feel like Satoru is your cousin, not a boyfriend.

Toji Fushiguro

He basically doesn't care about the tree nor traditions at all. You want a Christmas tree? Go and get it. Though, Toji is not so cruel and He will actually help you bring the Christmas tree and everything you need.

Don't you dare actually play a Christmas song more than once. He is already fed up when He was stuck with you in the shop for a few hours and poor Toji had to listen to it on a loop. It's one of his excuses to not work here. Same with everything else so you can provide for him.

Toji actually enjoys your cooking and baking. Not as much as Gojo but still He won't refuse when you offer him a gingerbread man.

About the gifts... He has no shame at all and buys you presents with your credit card. But this Christmas his masculine side was louder than his arrogance and actually paid himself. Still won't tell you how He got the money.

You don't go to your family on Christmas Eve with him, you go alone for a few hours and then come back to him sitting on the couch waiting.

Nanami Kento

He will gladly help you with decorating the Christmas tree and house. If He has enough energy, Kento will actually take you himself to the shop to buy new decorations and useless things you will use only this year.

Helps you with the cooking. All the meat, fishes and salads are made by him. The only thing He leaves for you is baking. He just doesn't feel it... and the burned paint on the wall in the kitchen too.

He doesn't mind the songs as long as you don't over do it and if you do He will just turn it off, calm himself for five minutes and ask you politely to stop.

On Christmas Eve He presents himself very well in front of the family. Don't drink.

Wash you all over with gifts. All the perfumes and clothes you saw and had on your "to get" list. You never actually try to ask him for anything throughout the year because you feel ashamed, but now him and you have excuses for it.

Geto Suguru

Very gentle and patient with you. Let's you decorate everything as you wish. He eventually helps you carry heavy things and holds you up to place the star or angle on the top of the tree.

Eat everything you made him. He is your no.1 taster. When you cook, Geto will just look at you warmly and taste the food you give him. You can't rely on his truthful opinion at all. Even if it's too salty or sweet Suguru will just nod in enjoyment and tell you that you're the best cook.

He actually enjoys the songs and can sit with you all day and sing them for you or just listen to them begin delighted by the atmosphere.

You both go to each other's parents and then to your friends. You will be the drunk one at the end of the Christmas Eve.

Gets you a one but big gift you want. A new phone? Got it. A expansive dress? Got it. But let's not touch the part that when he takes to go shopping in the december He buys too much for your enjoyment.

Sukuna Ryomen

He doesn't understand your stupid traditions and almost forbid you to actually celebrate Christmas, when He saw you bringing a fucking tree in the house.

He will only eat meat and everything that looks similar to everyday food. Sukuna refuses to eat your gingerbread cookies and candy cones commenting that He won't "...eat some cookie shaped in questionable human, what do you take me for?".

If you want to listen to your songs. Get yourself headphones honey. Ryomen is done with those bullshit songs and their universality. Why would you switch your music taste for a month? Why would you even listen to music in the first place?

He will not come with you nor let you to your parents. If you want to celebrate you can. But only with him alone. You should be happy that Sukuna even let you.

The only thing He does will be actually giving you gifts. Ryomen always loves seeing you so happy and cheery after seeing gifts. And of course most of the present are for his own enjoyment.

[echthr0s]

how tf am I supposed to get anything else done today 💀

[theloaqueen]

creation. is. finished.

I don't know when this is going to get through me & everyone's else's heads but like

creation is finished, it's done

I don't know why my dumbass is having a hard time just accepting that as a literal fact

but like, the moment that you affirm for your desire, than that's it. your desire have been fulfilled, it is now in the 3d.

even if you don't see your desire in the 3d like at all than literally who tf cares it have already been fulfilled within the 4d anyways & guess what

the 4d is the only true reality & a reality that actually really matters, only. not ever the 3d

atfp we should just put the 4d on the goddamn pedestal instead of the lame ass boring 3d

oh & also btw us people who overcomplicates the law that also sadly includes me don't need to do anything in order to 'manifest' our desires

bc guess what they already have been fucking manifested. there is nothing else left for us loa lovers/followers to do

literally our only job is to imagine our desires & know that we already have it that's it that's actually it

than the 3d will just be a baby girl & conform likes it nothing after a while of us being in the wish fulfilled thanks to us being such gods/goddesses by being persistent & staying firm no matter what

bc nah why tf do I overcomplicte this shit

like manifesting is supposed to be fun & easy & no matter how much I hate hearing that from others it is apparently true

dunno why am I making my loa journey so hard for myself on purpose & is just simply getting in my own way

how hard i have been brainwashed/conditioned from society to the point where I can't even do this simple ass thing

am sorry for being kinda hard on myself during this blog am just kinda annoyed with himself rn ig for stopping myself from getting my own desires

[mccoyquialisms]

it's been a rough few days

how am I supposed to tell if I'm actually Done with a relationship or if it's just the same inability to actually miss people I love when they're absent that has plagued me my entire life? am I actually checked out of this relationship or am i just a fundamentally terrible self-absorbed person? did I accidentally train myself to be more comfortable with solitude? and am prematurely throwing away something really good because I just got used to being alone and don't know anything else? if I love him and think of him fondly and the idea of him kissing someone else makes my throat close and me physically choke, is that what jealousy feels like? is that a sign that I do value the relationship? if thats the case then why do I desire so much solitude? why doesn't it feel like something huge is missing from my life? why is it so hard for me to remember how I felt in the early years? why does it feel like I just have a gaping void inside of me where my opinions and desires and goals should be? if I was done with this relationship then why tf am I crying so much now that it's going? what does it mean that I was fine in his absence but was always happy in his presence? what does it mean that I didn't really Get sex before we met and was very enthusiastic initially but then it cooled off where I never hated it but hardly ever initiated? did the fact that I sort of regretted i never got to explore if i was queer mean that I was over the relationship?? did I accidentally kill this relationship by going long distance?? did I do this?? we're meeting up to talk in a month but is that utterly unfair of me? if i'm going through this whole process of trying to get over him and am successful, what if he goes the opposite way? is that deeply unfair???

[josephtrohman]

your cat dog person analogy is soooo true

sorry to go off rn but those m cr fans are just soooo bitter for no fucking reason. they think their morals have to align with their music tastes and find any sort of way to find any sort of dirt on other bands they don’t enjoy. example i constantly see callout posts for band guys that usually overlap with similar fans and music with m cr. look i know band guys can suck and obviously they shouldn’t be praised like saints, but these out of nowhere callouts for band dudes i see are always from m cr accounts. are you actually wanting to call out shitty behavior or do you just want points for being high and moral because youre the fan of the most unproblematic feminist anti capitalist band who’s never done anything wrong?

they always pick and choose on who’s worthy enough to even be liked on some level of m cr example i remember seeing posts about how the savior m cr were the only ones there for paramore 😫🥹 they are just so cool like that!! no other bands were there for paramore 😞

they act like they are the underdogs and how nobody understands them, but i constantly see several thousand notes about how cool the band is on my dash every so often

they will always call other bands cringe or saying they never understood the assignment with their newer stuff or how they were just never on their level of punk rock in the first place. i seen people say m cr has always made consistently good music unlike those other bands who are pop sell outs but bitch your band hasn’t put anything new out in a decade how tf do u know 💀

sorry to go off, but god damn it’s just music, stop, whatever happened to the emo trinity, you all use to love that, what happened

thank you bestie!!!! NEVER be sorry for going off i am always here for it!!! especially when it’s well thought out like this. cuz a lot of my opinions UNFORTUNATELY boil down to “mcr fans annoying” (OBVIOUSLY not including my moderate mcrtuals!!!). im putting the rest of my response under the cut cuz i also popped off but a tldr is: u are the best and i love u.

i absolutely agree with everything you had to say here tho…like why do these people act this way. like babes your guys are embarrassing sometimes too or whatever. we all saw frank having an overpriced garage sale of his trash or whatever recently. not really anti-capitalistic to me sounds like!! that’s crazy about the thing you said about paramore tho cuz it’s like. what does that even mean to be a saviour of paramore????? as if they need saving?????? that doesn’t sit right with me for SURE to imply that 😡

sooooo real about the underdogs comment cuz like. i think that mcr feels like the most popular of the “emo trinity” of times past. it’s not like i know this for a fact but i don’t know anyone else irl that is into fob that i HAVENT specifically got them into them!!! whereas i feel like i have so many friends who are into mcr but had never listened to fob until i sent them my playlists. and also another piece of info that backs it up is i’ve gone to 4 emo nights in the last year, and the reception of when they play the black parade vs like…sugar we’re going down is like a BIG difference. except for maybe the specific fob edition, the crowd i would say is duller during sugar like 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. also like i think you can tell by the dynamics on tumblr too, i feel like there’s like 20 fob girlies and every other bitch is an mcr fan here. we’re outnumbered like CRAZY. and the amount of times i’ve seen people be like “if mcr ain’t your fave from the emo trinity = 🚩” but people NEVER say that about fob. i think i had another example but lost my train of thought bc people are talking around me LMFAO

ALSO THAT SECOND LAST PARAGRAPH LMFAOOOO GET THEIR ASS!!!!!! literally it’s not that deep, it’s music, i get spicy bc i’m frustrated with fob being treated this way from people fob fans are allegedly supposed to be “making out with” or whatever. like i know i’m insane about my four men but they are like INSAAANE about their four men and it’s not in a cute way. as i always say, mcr and fob as bands respect each other and i GUARANTEE the mcr guys wouldn’t want fob to be treated the way these crusty ass mcr mainies treat them. god.

this was rambly, i have no idea if any of this was smart or good, but my main takeaway is to say THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!! and i always appreciate the support ofc bc i’m worried i’m going to be eaten alive by the mcr fans bc they have a history of eviscerating us.

[wildfire317]

Okay so there is something that has been bugging me lately and has been pissing me off more and more lately and i need someone to explain it to me like I'm five because I don't get it.

So my mother is buddhist and she has been trying to subtly get me to be buddhist since i was a toddler and i have never been interested in it or any more common beliefs (ive always had more interest in more pagan beliefs) : but what is bugging me about buddhism specifically is a very specific part of their idea of karma. Now i understand if you do something in your "current" life and it has an effect on you or your life in the future, what I'm not understanding is; Why do they believe that what "you" did in "your past life" which is to say what someone else in the past did also ends up effecting "the next life" or more accurately you even though you as you are don't remember what "the past life"/other person did and thus can't really learn anything from it, especially when it comes to the negative things? I say especially the negative things because whenever i would complain to my mother about a bully or some asshole at work looking for comfort she would go "oh thats just your past life karma, your past life did something so you deserve it" in semi-different words but when something good happened its maybe just "oh good job" if anything (for reference im never genuinely an asshole to someone unless they start it and they deserve it, and the only time i could be considered to have bullied someone was a so-called "friend" tricked me into it but because I genuinely didn't understand what she was trying to get me to do i just offered outfit ideas that i thought would be helpful and stopped and genuinely asked what was wrong when i saw the person my so-called "friend" was picking on was upset and was bamboozled when i finally realized and stopped hanging out with them) and it kind of reminds me of the time when my older sister stole money out of my mothers purse but my mother blamed me because i was the one who happened to be in the room when she discovered the money was missing. It feels exactly like someone else did something bad but I'm the one who is taking the blame and receiving punishment for something I didn't do or know anything about and couldn't have done anything about. And supposedly I'm supposed to learn something from it, but how tf am i supposed to learn anything? Like if this is the consequence of something "my past life"/someone else did why wasn't it dealt with then? To quote Nny from the johnny the homicidal maniac comics by jhonan vasquese: Its like getting the answer to a question i dont remember even asking. Especially since I'm someone who constantly over thinks and frequently uses my common sense (though I'll admit i need to work on social cues) and i realize that every choice has consequence sometimes good, sometimes bad, often times both. I don't need to be taught "hey don't hurt people because it's wrong and you wouldn't like it if it were the other way around and it will most likely come back to bite you in the future" because to me its obvious.

Sorry for the rant but its been bugging me for an eternity. So for the general question; how is someone supposed to learn from the karma brought on them by the "past life" they don't even remember? Please explain it to me like im five if you actually have answers because im not even kidding this has been annoying me for so long.

Update of the future: So apparently, the "buddhist" group my mother follows is a branch of a buddhism-based cult originating in japan (and is technically illegal there), i don't remember the name of it at the moment but it may explain why this has never made sense to me especially when combined with my apparent autism causing me to have a strong sense of justice which apparently karma is not the same thing as?

[rotting-sun]

Would anyone even miss me. Am i even worth that.

My gf is bored of me. My friends only reach out when theres no one else to talk to.

What if i do it? I dont think theyd even care. They would probably be better off.

My feelings are such a burden. I am such a burden. If i kms im sure it would be a favor to them. They’d finally have a weight off their shoulders.

I’m boring and pathetic and every bad human trait there is. I am fundamentally unloveable. Everyone is only with me because they pity me. My gf is friends with so many other people. So many interesting people. So many pretty people. Better than me. Idk why she doesnt just. Break up w me and get w them. She says shes “in love” w people all the time so. I should kms and then she wouldnt have to feel bound to me. I could amke her life easier. Simpler. I wouldn’t be stuck to her.

She probably thinks i’m so annoying. All i do is tell her how much i love her. All i do is talk to her. All day. Im so fucking clingy. She probably so sick of me. So sick of everything i do and am. She probably regrets ever wanting to be w me. And i dont blame her.

I dotn want her to hurt me. Ik on some level that im probably being dramatic rn. Ik that. But ik shes going to get bored eventually. She gonna get sick of how sick i am. Of all of my issues. Shes not gonna find me interesting anymore. I’m gonna drive her away and it’ll be no one’s fault but my own. Ik im not worth staying for. She’ll find someone better. She’s already said shes in love w one of her online friends. Ik she meant it as a joke. Platonic. Whatever tf. But it doesn’t feel like that. She thinks that girl is so much prettier than me. I know that. She probably is. I don’t even compare. I’m not worth anything. I dont deserve anything. She deserves so much more than me and she knows ut too. Shes gonna leave and theres nothing i can do to stop it. I am nothing. Pathetic. Ugly. Worthless. A coward. How much of a coward do u have to be to not be able to pull the trigger when u WANT to. How much?

She didn’t even tell me she loved me back this morning. But she would txt the gc we’re both in. It’s not that hard to shoot off an ily. Anything. An acknowledgment. I dont want to feel invisible. Not to her. Shes supposed to pick me. I’m supposed to be her #1. I don’t understand. Shes supposed to love me. I’m supposed to mean smth to her. Right? She’s supposed to want me with her. Why am I always the last choice? Why do I always get chosen last? Why am I not worthy of love and attention when other people are? What makes me so bad? Why can’t I stop being me for a little while? I just wanna know what it’s like. To be above everyone else for someone. To be worth smth to someone. I just want to be someone’s first; I wanna be someone’s person. Their favorite. I want reciprocation. Why do I always get the short ebd of the stick. I don’t understand. WHAT DID I FUCKING DO TO DESERVE TO BE SO GODDAMN UNLOVEABLE. WHAT DID I DO AND HOW TF DO I FIX IT. Please.

It just. Hurts. Everything hurts. I don’t want it to hurt anymore. I want it to be over. I don’t wanna have to feel anything anymore. I wanna be done. It’s too much and it’s painful. My emotions feel like third degree burns. And no one gets it. They can’t. And they don’t care anyways. I deserve to be shot in tje head.

I don’t deserve to be here anyway. I know god hates me. It’s okay tho. I get it. Just wish he would do smth abt it.

[kalereviews8782]

Review: Check & Mate by Ali Hazelwood

Enjoyment: 2.5 / Prose: 2.5 / Characters: 2.5 (?) / Plot: 2

pros: bisexual sex-positive mc, family relationships, Oz, class issues cons: no romantic chemistry, the Soup Scene, Mallory getting treated like trash

I am confused on where I stand with Hazelwood. I gobble up her books and always have a fun time seeing what she'll do next. They never take me long to get through because I'm entertained as hell. However, I usually get frustrated by some part of the dialogue or plot choices she makes. This one was the most frustrating (probably because there were aspects of it I liked even MORE than the previous two I've read, The Love Hypothesis and Love on the Brain).

On a prose level, Hazelwood knows how to make scenes engaging, and I never struggle to get through her books even if the prose is...weak. There are definitely some lines that make me laugh, and others that make me cringe. It's kind of a mixed bag in that aspect. You have to sort of…roll with it.

As for characters, I think Hazelwood wrote her BEST main character with Mallory. She's funny, strong, a caretaker, but also isolated and afraid. I relate to her drive to take care of others around her and feel useful. She definitely wants to be valued and holds a lot of guilt for not being what she perceives as "good enough". She's the first queer character I've read of Hazelwood's, and I think it was handled well. I also really enjoyed her relationships with her two sisters, they were adorable. The family aspect here was well done…(until later on, but we'll get there).

But God, then we have Nolan. Who tf was Nolan? Supposedly her "rival" and "love interest" but I couldn't tell you a single thing about that man. He…likes Mallory? and he's rich? But where's their chemistry? Where's their supposed passion and desire and fun conversations or…anything? The most lacking of Hazelwood's romantic relationships, disappointedly. I actually enjoyed the character of Oz, the guy Mallory practices chess with, more.

We also have…Easton. I guess she fills the role of Mallor's "best friend" but my God, she was also terrible. I don't know anything about her besides the fact that she likes Dragon Age. And she also treats Mallory like hot garbage.

Which brings me to the plot. Chess is fine, and I enjoyed the competitiveness of the sport throughout the novel. What I did NOT enjoy or appreciate is the way people treated Mallory. Mallory works like a dog at the young age of 18 to pay her family's mortgage and then her sisters (and MOTHER) gang up on her at the end to be like "oh you're such a martyr, stop controlling us, you're so holier than though, blah blah". Like, did you want to be sleeping on the street while your mom didn't have arthritis meds? Did you have anyone else paying the bills or making sure you had rides everywhere? Sure, they could be annoyed that Mallory acts like their mom, but her own MOTHER being like "go live your own life"? Excuse me, but can we have some gratefulness? Then we have Easton, not answering ANY of Mallory's texts, then showing up near the end and saying "why did you distance yourself from me?" HUH? Did you not ghost Mallory yourself???? And finally, Nolan. This rich, privileged, famous man pays her literal salary, never tells her, and acts like it's not a big deal and that she's "acting crazy" when she's upset that he didn't tell her. Please do not call my girl Mallory crazy for feeling lied to. What a gaslighting freak.

Also: one of the defining moments in their romantic relationship is Mallory feeding him soup when he's sick. Please let this woman be anything other than a caretaker.

[westrangecollectionkoalaposts]

Reading HOFAS:

ps;. I didn't HOSAB, anyway...

CH 1

First, Bryce is in a cell in Hewn city, and she was taken there by winnowing, yet didn't Azriel took her to the House of Wind? so how did he winnowed from there to somewhere else if the HoW has unbreakeable spells againt that... or did Nesta asked House to change some stuff so she can get tf out when she wants? 🤔

Rhysand, he’d called himself. The one who looked so much like Ruhn.

Poor Ruhn.

Then Amren start talking, when Rice is right there, like, just get in Bryce's mind and saves everyone time...

Rhysand murmured to the winged male beside him. Translating, perhaps.

Just translate is telepatically. No, better, why don't you just "dowload" the language in their brians like professor Xavier does?

The female went on, “If you are to be believed, how is it that you came here? Why did you come here?”

Why is the goblin making the questions? You have a master of interrogation (that should be supposed to know how to interrogate without torture) and a weak xmen right on your side.

The walls and ceiling pushed in, squeezing the air from her lungs. Rhysand lifted a broad hand wreathed in stars. “We won’t harm you.” Bryce found the rest of the sentence lurking within the dense shadows around him: if you don’t try to harm us.

"unless your arm is broken and the bone exposed..."

So Bryce fixed her eyes on the female, the smallest but by no means the least deadly of the group.

No powers, don't remember if she fights, i think she doesn't, she is exactly the least deadly of the group, a well done kick and she goes away flying.

“What … You mean the Starsword?” Another link between their worlds. All of them just stared at her again. An impenetrable wall of people accustomed to getting answers in whatever way necessary.

If the group's telepath used his oh-so-rare-power instead of using the opportunity to train a new language, they would have gotten the answers already...

Then ok, Bryce starts inventing a story about how she got there and the sword,

Silence. Then the silent, hazel-eyed warrior laughed quietly. How had he understood without Rhysand translating? Unless he could simply read her body language, her tone, her scent— ...

Rhysand glanced at him with raised brows, then translated for Bryce with equal menace, “You’re lying.”

So, someone give up speaking a new language, also why is Azriel, the non-telepath here being the lie detector?

After that Bryce tells them the truth.

“I just watched my mate and my brother get captured by a group of intergalactic parasites,” she snarled. “I have no interest in doing anything except finding a way to help them.” Rhysand looked to the warrior, who nodded, not taking his gaze off Bryce for so much as a blink. “Well,” Rhysand said to Bryce, crossing his muscled arms. “That’s true, at least.”

SJM, why is the telepath confirming if someone is lying or not with a non-telepath? Also, isn't Mor a lie detector? just call her and end this shit quick.

The female noted her hesitation and said, “Just look in her mind already, Rhys.”

Finally someone said the common sense.

I do not pry where I am not willingly invited.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

ACOTAR:

“You have seconds, Rhys,” Tamlin warned. “Seconds to get out.” “If I were you, I wouldn’t speak to me like that.” Against my volition, my body straightened, every muscle going taut, my bones straining. Magic, but deeper than that. Power that seized everything inside me and took control: even my blood flowed where he willed it. I couldn’t move. An invisible, talon-tipped hand scraped against my mind. And I knew—one push, one swipe of those mental claws, and who I was would cease to exist.

“I’d forgotten that human minds are as easy to shatter as eggshells,” Rhysand said, and ran a finger across the base of my throat. I shuddered, my eyes burning. “Look at how delightful she is—look how she’s trying not to cry out in terror. It would be quick, I promise.” “She has the most delicious thoughts about you, Tamlin,”

ACOMAF

“You’re prone to digging through my head whenever you please,” I said, stabbing a piece of melon with my fork. “I don’t see why you’re surprised by it.” “Only occasionally will I do that. And I can’t help it if you send things down the bond.” ... My innate talents allow me to slip through the mental shields of anyone I wish, with or without that bridge—unless they’re very, very strong, or have trained extensively to keep those shields tight. As a human, the gates to your mind were flung open for me to stroll through. As Fae … ”

“How many other minds have you accidentally slipped into?” Lucien— “Lucien?” A short laugh. “What a miserable place to be.” A low snarl rippled from me. “Do not go into my head.” “Your shield is down.”

ACOWAR

“If you want proof that we are not scheming with Hybern,” Rhysand said blandly to them all, “consider the fact that it would be far less timeconsuming to slice into your minds and make you do my bidding.”

ACOFAS

Likely wealthy young bucks out for the night. I reined in my scowl as Rhys’s voice filled my head. Mind your ownbusiness. Your sister is handily beating them at cards, by the way. Snoop

ACOSF

Nesta shot to her feet. “My life is not your concern, or up for any sort of discussion.” “Sit down,” Rhys snarled. The raw command in that voice, the utter dominance and power … She could have sworn something like pain had etched itself across his face

Eris closed the book, watching Cassian drop into the seat opposite him. “I suppose you want to know what I told Briallyn.” “Rhys already looked into your mind. Turns out, you didn’t know much.” He gave the male a slashing grin.

There are more but i won't be searching it right now.

May I look in your memories? To see for myself? No. You may not. Rhysand blinked slowly. Then he said aloud, “Then we’ll have to rely on your words.”

Such a gentleman, an example of person

The corner of Rhysand’s mouth curled upward. “We will not torture it from you,

It means he will order Azriel to do it.

nor will I pry it from your mind. If you choose not to talk, it is indeed your choice. Precisely as it will be my choice to keep you down here until you decide otherwise.”

Wow, the choice giver feminist king

“The Asteri. I told you—intergalactic parasites.”

Is SJM-verse also star wars or MCU now? is the planet Prythian is in named Asgard? where are the rebels and the Empire?

He snapped his fingers again, and the blood, the dirt on her, disappeared. A stickiness still coated her skin, but it was clean.

From every single thing in acotar series, SJM remembered how the cleaning magic that doesn't clean properly works, now i am surprised.

Amren angled her head, sleek bob shifting with the movement. “A tax on your magic, taken by ancient beings for their own nourishment and power.” Azriel’s gaze shifted to her, Rhysand presumably still translating mind-to-mind. But Amren murmured to herself, as if the words triggered something, “A tithe.”

Jesus, the astheri eats souls and power, also, Amren, you are such a genious 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

She swallowed again. “Midgard is only the latest in a long line of worlds invaded by the Asteri.

They are also Galactus

“You know my sword by a different name, but you recognize what it is.” Only Amren nodded. “I think it’s because it came from this world,” Bryce said. “It seems connected to that dagger somehow

But how did Az got the dagger? is he like 1/17 or something starborn or whatever?

...And, as far as I know, there were only three planets that were able to kick them out—to fight back and defeat them.Hel, a planet called Iphraxia, and … a world occupied by the Fae. The original, Starborn Fae.”

“You know my sword by a different name, but you recognize what it is.” ... “I think it’s because it came from this world,”

“So you believe,” Amren said slowly, silver eyes flickering, “that our world is this third planet that resisted these … Asteri.”

What the fuck did she just told you, Amren?

Bryce could have sworn Rhysand’s golden face paled slightly

Can rhyand change his skin color at will? at each book he has a different skin tone, book one he is as pale as a paper, book 2 he is tan, then at some point he got dark brown, now he is golden skin, his next appearence is going to be what? pale again? blue avatar? is sjm just forgetting again?

How to begin describing guns or brimstone missiles or mech-suits or Omega-boats or even the Asteri’s power?

Avatar (2009)?

She extended her hand to Rhysand. “I’ll show you.” Amren and Azriel cut him sharp looks. Like this might be a trap

Don't you guys remember what he did to the summer's last high lord before Tarquin took place? Amren you even called him ugly right in Tarquin's face.

“Guns,” Bryce said, pointing to the rifle Randall fired in her displayed memory, landing a perfect bulls-eye shot in a target half a mile off. “Brimstone missiles.” .... Rhysand mastered himself, a cool mask sliding into place. “You live in such a world.” It wasn’t entirely a question. But Bryce nodded. “Yes.” “And they want to bring all of that … here.”

Imagine if humans at the continents down to Prythian's planet north hemisphere alredy have that kind of stuff but even more technological, like, kinda cyberpunk to the point there are devices that make a magnet camp that can turn off magic or something like that.... idk just would find that interesting🤔🤔🤔

Bryce examined the silver bean that lay smooth and gleaming in her hand. Amren said without looking at her, “You swallow it, and it will translate our mother tongue for you. Allow you to speak it, too.”

I have saw that somewhere else but don't remember where.

Azriel was already poised over her, that deadly dagger drawn and gleaming with a strange black light.

And then it goes to her hand like mjolnir returns to thor's hand

“Put it away, you fool,” Amren said. “It sings for her, and by bringing it close—”

Don't put away Az, I want to see the mjolnir dagger working.

Amren turned to Rhysand and said in that new, strange language—their language: “The glowing letters inked on her back … they’re the same as those in the Book of Breathings.”

They once again assessed her. Three apex killers, contemplating a threat. Then Azriel said in a soft, lethal voice, “Explain or you die.”

Soft voice? Own, he is so cute treatening, such a kitty hissing 🥺😺😺

[nsk96]

Personal rant:

So I just found out that my mom plans to get the house fogged this weekend. When tf was she gonna tell me?!! The morning of? I have an exam next week!

Whenever we have to get the house fogged for the gnats that only she can feel, I have to cover everything in my room that I don't want to get messed up because the chemical used leaves a residue. And since I can't be in the house when the fogging happens, I have to also secure any of my precious belongings and anything I don't want my dad to have access to because I will have to leave my bedroom open for this. This takes so much time.

Also there's the chocolate on my bedroom floor to worry about (because I have nowhere else to store it and my mom must store it in my room or else my dad may steal it and give it to his secret lover or he may just poison it 🙃).

And if that wasn't bad enough, the residue left behind makes it more difficult for me to breath so that means when the fogging is done, I have to clean every surface in my room if I hope to breath normally again. I don't even know what to do about my plushies and anime figures. This shit is time consuming, time I don't have because I have an exam and group case next week, and once those are done, I have the pinning ceremony to prepare for. Then after that, I have to spend the only break I have before rotation starts, on doing continuing education to renew my pharm tech certification!

"I have to do what I can to survive" my mom said. Well I should have done what I could to survive which was to move out when I had the chance so I wouldn't have to deal with this shit. And she would have the audacity to say that I don't tell her how I'm feeling but I express how stressed out I am about everything all the time.

But all she sees is that I get through it and then afterwards she just forgets what I had to put up with. One time she was like "I know you been through so much that's why I'm proud of what you've accomplished" while in the same conversation, saying that I never told her what I was experiencing (even though I told her every detail as it was happening). Her "I'm proud of you" just feels like empty words when they're followed by her diminishing my experience and invalidating my feelings.

Earlier she came home with groceries around 12pm, because she had to go on her lunch break. I was taking my vitamins so I didn't come help her. She made a fuss about me not helping her and I told her I'm taking my "vitamins". She said "well I didn't even take my medicine yet" (to guilt me and for what reason? What's done is done). She did some more rambling and said "I didn't even eat breakfast."

She just has to make it about her. Didn't consider that my hands are clean and I don't want to drop everything. I have medicine to take too and I was already late at taking them. I'm on topiramate for migraines; I can't be late with that shit. What if I was in the middle of studying? She still expect me to drop my studying to come help with the groceries like I always do? I'm on a time crunch right now.

Also, it's not my fault she didn't have breakfast. Am I supposed to make her breakfast every single day? I try to make her food to help her out but it can't be an everyday thing I have my own things to do. She's a vegetarian who doesn't eat egg while I'm not. It's not always easy making breakfast for the two of us especially in the situation we live in where I can't trust half the food in our fridge.

I hardly got any studying done this week because I had the OSCE exam Monday, then doctor's appointment Tuesday, then mom wanted to go to the bank on Wednesday. Then having to deal with emails in between trying to get a grade fixed and figuring out what I need for my rotations. I'm beyond exhausted that I couldn't even focus on anything this week despite my best efforts. Falling asleep at my study desk 5 minutes into the lectures that I'm trying to study for the exam and the group case for next Monday.

This is why I should have moved out. I wouldn't have to worry about all of this shit if I just lived by myself and could control how much I see my family. Maybe I'd actually want to be around my family more if I was allowed the space to have peace. I'm so tired of struggling in school and getting below average grades when I know I can thrive if I just had a chance to feel safe and not be exhausted from living in this environment.

And I still have my laundry to do. Can’t do it if we fog the house 😮‍💨

[fallinginthe-void]

Underneath the read more tab is a rant and vent. Just a warning in case your curiosity gets the better of yall

I got talked to at work yesterday because I've been having issues. A coworker snitched and said that I "yelled at him" for coming to the back of the store (the cashier can't leave the front unattended as it's a loss prevention issue). Note, I didn't yell at all. Yes, I was being a little bossy but he's been here for over a year, he knows he can't leave the front alone! It doesn't help that when I told him, he tried to joke around and say no. That led to more issues.

According to my manager, my tone with how I handle customers and my coworkers have been more on the negative side and if it continues, it can lead to being written up for harassment. She said she understands that with being a keyholder, we have more responsibilities but I'm not the one who can tell others what to do. Fair, but what tf else am I supposed to do when I'm the one in charge of the store at that moment and things need to get done? If I tell someone to bring up the trash to the front, are they gonna snitch on me too?? Like, fuck! Now I'm getting my keyholder shifts suspended in an attempt to "lessen my stress". I was lucky to be getting 1 keyholder shift every 2 weeks (there's 2 keyholders total. Other keyholder gets most of those shifts because I'm trained in one more section of the store than he is so im utilized there more) but now I'm getting nothing?! What the fuck? I hold nothing against that keyholder, he's actually my best friend at work.

Unfortunately, I'm also in trouble for socializing too much with him at work because it leads to work not being done. If it keeps happening, we won't be scheduled together. That's fair, and I will do better on that. The part that bugs me, is when I told him about it, he said that he was never talked to about it and said he should also be held accountable for stuff like that. I'm pissed at the double standard on that

Part of the reason why my tone goes more to the negative side is because I have to deal with stupid people everyday! I wish that was an exaggeration! I once had 3 people get pissed off at me for asking them not to consume their snack/drinking before paying for it and that happened in a 24 hour period! Recently, I had a woman lose it at me because I told her she needed to pay for the card before writing in it! And that's the second time that's ever happened! Also, I don't care about the small pleasantries. You're a stranger, I don't care how you're doing. Do what you need to and leave. Stop talking and grab your shit faster, you're holding up the line and I'm the only cashier avaliable right now

My manager and assistant manager both said they've noticed my stress and asked if everything's okay in my life. I had to lie and say yes. They said I could talk to them both about anything. They are genuinely good people and I know they're doing their jobs too but I can't talk to them. I still have to respect the manager-staff relationship. Plus, how can I say that "no I'm not fine. My depression and anxiety are riding me into the ground, I'm terrified that I'm going to get kicked out of my apartment again (another story) even if I do nothing wrong, and with that terror, I've hardly unpacked anything because I want to be prepared if I do get evicted. My 6 year relationship with my long distance boyfriend is causing me extreme self doubt again because he has a hard time expressing affection and I need the affection, so the fact that it was getting really close to Valentines Day knowing that he only likes that day because it's when his pet bird hatched, I've been having multiple bouts of silent break downs where I can only stare at the ceiling and silently mourn the fact that I'll never be loved in the way I want to. I can't even tell him because we've had multiple conversations about it but very little has changed, plus I fear I'm going to sound ungrateful. So to fill that void, I've been reading character x reader fanfics to feel something, even if it's a synthetic sort of love. I'm sure as hell not getting it here in the real world!". I'm sure nothing will go wrong with telling my managers all that

I'm just so tired and there's nothing I can do. Therapy is too expensive and with how I've been feeling, if I even utter a single thought about ending myself (the feeling has been there for years but I've never acted on it), I'm sure to be sent to a psych ward. I can't afford to miss work either, I have bills to pay. Hell, I can barely cry about it properly because I've repressed that instinct for years and I hate the stuffed up nose I get with it

Just...I don't know anymore...I'm so tired

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, January 29th, 2024!

8:00am he doesn't have any grasp of how poorly he handled money while living here. Didn't know when bills were due how much they cost and never bothered to ask. Just wanted me to keep asking him for money like a fucking bank. Does not grasp the concept of why would I ask you for money when every other week you asked me for weed money (indicating you literally didn't even have $40?). How am I supposed to turn around and ask you for bill money?

No longer my problem!! He's my friend not my problem, I'll find a partner who is willing to understand how things work OR already knows and I don't have to teach them how to be an adult! Can you imagine? I can I know there's guys out there that handle all of their own finances and that's very attractive! I want that! :) *manifesting** lol ✨✨

It's not your responsibility to explain to him what he did wrong. X 1000 queen 💅

12:14pm Checking in, just got out of class, want to get lunch and do work after! There's a bunch of teeny tiny things to do this week. It's cold outside too!! Freezing my feet and a lack of blood circulation lol.

11:43pm day kind of was a drag due to an uncoordinated group project and untimed meeting but we go on!

Weaponized incompetence! That's the word lmao, yeah she can have that! Oof idk man just doesn't sit right with me, but it's not my problem anymore! Yayyyy :) I really need to figure out how to redirect my mind when I feel like telling him some bs he did to me. I did really well and I'm proud of myself today for asking him first if he wanted to hear my rant and he said no politely lmao and I think that was smart for me. It just kind of subsided, at least enough for me to get my work done today. I just want to keep focusing on me :) always something I can be doing for myself tbh, don't really need to be doing things for an incompetent partner 😎 she can have thattt.

Tbh I feel like I'm just gonna live my whole "life" and probably not f around with settling down until I'm at least 30 and I'm cool with that lol. What's the rush, I don't want any crotch monsters so I really dgaf about all that (plus there's fostering etc). I kind of want to get off the dating/ relationship reddit stuff bc it's just not realistic tbh 😅 I don't want to compromise, I don't want to fuck around on someone else's schedule, I literally don't want someone telling me anything what to do, nothing I don't want to hear a man's opinion 😂 probably not the best time in my life to start dating haha

So yeah they always say, what do you want out of a relationship rn? Still nothing serious, I'm not serious, I would love a fwb, I would love a concert buddy, I want a happy hour buddy, club buddy, watching sports together buddy, and these really don't have to be men btw (men are low-key trash another reason I should not be dating haha bc I will be mean AF). Just vibe, my new year's resolution was to have more friends and I think I'm on the right track :) I definitely am having a healthier mindset now, making friends was not on my to-do list 3/2 months ago 👀👀 but that's what growing is about!

I feel bad that my ex isn't getting this same self growth but 🤷 what tf am I supposed to do with that info lol I guess he just perfectly knows himself..... 🤣🤡 The end.

[povestotrischane]

basic mecha vn adaptation details:

- it'll be an eroge for a variety of long and complicated reasons which basically boil down to "the public perception of vn genre has been heavily sanitized in the west, western vns are notorious for being #notlikeothervns and the words "western vn" are mainly used derogatorily, by harkening back to the legacy of classic eroge such as f/sn, tsukihime, fmdm or fucking. i don't know. rance. i feel i'd better attract fans of the genre + combat the increasing sanitization of vns, seen in Every Mainstream VN Release In The West and in increasingly in the japanese market as well (i HATE f/sn realta nua. i'm not saying nasu is good at writing h-scenes or w/e (he's cartoonishly bad at it actually) but i am saying that it's A Choice to take hf, the route about sex and sexuality and the sex = death trope, and get rid of all the h-scenes) + weed out ppl who think ddlc is soooo messed up and genuinely. would not be able to handle 10 minutes of idk. higurashi or smthing" with a side of "ofc sex and sexuality are important thematically, tf do you think i am?"

- 4 routes. gawaine is the narrator. it goes priamus -> ysabelle -> lancelot -> ragnelle. sgatgk doesn't happen until route 4. route 1 is a bit expository and is ultimately about gawaine's political machinations/two-faced-ness, modred stabs the shit out of him a la the alliterative morte in the end. route 2 is basically about gawaine doing whatever the fuck he wants forever, do his actions have consequences? eh. does he want to fuck his mecha? probably. is it more complicated than that but takes a while to articulate? yeah lol. route 3 is about uhm. obsession. it's the remarkable route and gawaine is a total freak idk what to tell you he's so abnormal in this one. route 4 is a straight up horror route in which gawaine IS naturally the perfect chivalrous knight who would never do anything he's done throughout the rest of the vn and also galahad levels of repressed. something is deeply wrong. renard the fox is there. overarching themes surround desire, indulgence/repression, chivalry, idealism, sex and sexuality.

- ok time for actual lore stuff. gringolet and galatine are the same thing. and by that i mean gawaine's mecha is galatine, in the same way that lancelot's is secace and arthur's is excaliber, etc. but also. galatine is gringolet, because he stole gringolet from the saxons and quickly decided to officially rename it to that of the mecha he's Supposed to have bc he's not stupid. the thing is, gringolet is uhm. an organic lifeform! (think nge or darling in the franxx) and sentient! and gawaine and gringolet are thus able to share a much deeper bond than anyone else in the round table and their mechas. the og galatine probably ended up being renamed to clarent and given to modred, for a mix of reasons (tie up loose ends, a mecha is a lot harder to sneak around than a sword + why would there be a ceremonial mecha? things have to be rewritten here, leads to there only being one sister mecha to excaliber, makes an easily identifiable symbol of modred and gawaine's relationship for when the inevitable fratricide comes up).

- the ladies of the lake are ais, the du hautdeserts are either robots, humonculi, or one of each, magic and technology are kinda blended to the point where pointing out the difference is kinda pointless

- aggravaine beheads lamorak for thematic reasons which come down to "damn. there seems to be a pattern with his brothers and weird psychosexual issues regarding beheadings. how would that apply to him." and uhm. lamorvaine real.

- the current state of arthur's kingdom is uhm. kinda in a bit of disrepair. like even the richest of the rich don't have the best conditions available. the world is practically covered in a thin layer of rust.

- most countries are planets (occasionally they'll also include like. nearby asteroids / moons / w/e), the names + uniforms used/worn by the knights change based on what planet they're on, in writing and in international diplomacy, they always go back to their latin names though

- tristan pilots a dogfighter instead of a mecha bc 1. he's an archer and 2. mechas are reserved for round table knights

- knights are wayyyy more likely to getting into classic sword/lance/fist/bow fights than actual duels

- morale kinda sucks in the round table as a natural result of (thematic reasons)

- uhhhhm i can't think of anything else rn