#how the shitheads truly cant do anything on their own

[beaulesbian]

The layers this movie has, almost like an onion.

[toadstool32]

its the sextuplets birthday! in celebration im ranking them based on personal preference <3

karamatsu < i like him

osomatsu < i like shitty older brothers when theyre not my own

jyuushimatsu < i dont even think he knows how baseball works

todomatsu < hes such a bitch i love him

ichimatsu < cat

choromatsu < at his best when insane

the nature making numbered list make it so that they all have a rank but if anything it would be like > 1 karamatsu >2 osomatsu / jyuushimatsu >4 todomatsu / ichimatsu > 6 choromatsu

now im gonna proceed to rank them as combinations <- insane behavior

i got the names from this list!

im mostly ranking them by how funny they are but comedy is subjective feel free to send me anon hate ovr this i dont care

doing this in a five star format! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

choukeimatsu: starting out strong! i love shitty older brothers! they suck <3 five stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

sokudomatsu: its ok, i like they more when they act out as other characters than themselves, they either do a funny skit or their manzai act, this one is a toss up for me! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖

parkamatsu: their shittyness and cuteness level gets balanced so evenly... its precious to see truly..... however!!! its cute to see oso treat ichi like a cat / a future ward of the state but alas its not tickling my funny bone as much ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖➖

bakamatsu: i like stupid idiots, i want more of them ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

benimatsu: oso n todo are such shitheads fr, they enable eachother to be the worst version of themselves, which is both cute AND fun ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

suirikumatsu: i read this one comic where they both get bullied by everyone else and then get revenge at the beach, (ill find and reblog later) other than that i dont think they really have that many skits together? booo. its rough out there ➖➖➖➖➖

iromatsu: its mid, it makes me cringe more than laugh, well, thats a lie sometimes i do laugh, its a toss up really, (i do like the bazooka scene tho) ⭐⭐⭐➖ I

musclematsu: while iromatsu its ichi using kara as a chew toy karamatsu is like, a chew toy with spikes, and fire and hurtful things, so ichimatsu receives psychic damage by that. Yeah that does not happen with jyuushimatsu this is like a uno reverse, these two are made or way harder stuff, and way dumber too, five stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

woodmatsu: theyre sweet :3 its a good balance between karamatsu being a chewtoy and todomatsu being the tsukkomi fishing with love letters and falling in love with the same cashier? pretty solid gags ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

middlematsu: funniest gag they ever did was the fact that they never talk to eachother, nobody has a good time here, four stars only bc its a rare one ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

wakabamatsu: are u fucking kidding me ok this one is interesting bc when jyuushi is the boke i feel like the skits run way to long, i still laugh but whatever not the point. but when they make jyushimatsu choros tsukkomi??? insane behavior honestly. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖ ➖

cybermatsu: funniest shit ever, choromatsu shines with todomatsu as his pair truly, funniest shit ive ever seen ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

numbermatsu: top tier! what do i ever have to say here they just work ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

110matsu: catty bitches, ichimatsu gets to be weird in new ways here such is the curse of being a good straight man! hang in there todomatsu!! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

youngestmatsu: they r so fucking cute, cant remeber any skits with them tho, oh well ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

ok now im gonna do groups!! but not really just the ones i care about, fuck the list im doing numbers now:

125- i like idiots, i want more of them, jyuushimatsus fun day with his big brothers (goes wrong) <3

456- shitty little brothers represent! u cant be mad at them theyre just little guys and its their birthday :3

346- catty bitches but more toxic, this one rulez, the self awareness has left the room

146- i think theyre neat

126- this is just my dream blunt rotation lets move on

246- i thought abt girlymatsu for a bit and passed out for a sec imagine this with me

thats all!!! get out of my post!!!

[blood-injections]

speak some funsandkid thoughts to me my mind is plagued by them rn

Gladly. My mind is plagued as well.

Funsandkid is taking the three most annoying little brother type of shitheads in the world and making them an insufferable polycule. Its taking already unparalleled snark and bitchiness and the limpetlike affection of a guy that aims to squeeze you to death when he hugs you and multiplying it by three. They actively make eachother worse. They're always hanging off of eachother even at the most inoppertune times. They're dogs that cant be separated because of separation anxiety but its more because they're soulmates and theres a chunk of them missing than anxiety but like dogs they will fucking whine about everything until theyre back together and when they are. They just fucking gravitate to each other. You could try to separate them and theyd walk away across the desert to find eachother and just happen to meet in the middle like wow what a coincidence as if the Witch cant hear their bitching from the other side and pushed them back together just for a little peace and quiet.

They're so stupid also. I truly cannot express how fucking stupid they are. That post i made that said its called funsandkid because they have fun eating sand together. Yeah. None of them have any sense of self-preservation unless it comes to a firefight. Thats the only time they're serious. They're the three most impulsive fuckers in the desert. Theyll see something shiny on the ground and go ooh shiny while theres like. A fucking tornado or something. They dare eachother to do the randomest stupid things and they do. I have no idea how one of them hasn't nearly died yet. "Hey Kobra i dare you to punch that cactus." "Okay." "Hey Ghoul i dare you to kiss that rattlesnake." "Bet." "Hey guys do you think I'd die if I chewed on this exposed wire?" "Idk try it."

Sandman getting his facepaint/makeup all. Fucking. Over. Kobra and Ghoul. Because i doubt its waterproof. I figure its only really needed if theyre in the city to disrupt facial recognition but he probably does it in the desert too bc it acts the same as like wearing a mask but its the fukin desert so it doesn't last long it sweats and smears and hes like a fucking cat always headbutting and like rubbing his cheek on the others or kissing them all over their faces and shit and he just. There's makeup smears all over the three of them bc of him. They've long accepted it they don’t complain. He walks into a place like black makeup running bc of sweat and looking horrifying and dead and shit going you should see the other guys and kobra and ghoul walk in right behind him covered in black lipstick kisses and black smears that if you just glanced at them youd think they were working on a car or something and wiped the motor oil on their shirts and shit but no. Its just sandman's makeup.

And he totally makes them goth. Like i proposed my goth kobra(foaming at the mouth) agenda forever ago but literally like. Kobra and Ghoul are used to listening to whatever Dr D puts on and obsessing over Mad Gear and dressing like. In their own litte styles but nothing specific just whatever they fancy out of the communal fab four closet. Not that Sandman wouldn't obsess over mad gear and shit too but i just think the scene in the zones is more like mainly punk or just general like. Fucking zonescore idk its its own thing out there. Versus the scene in the city underground where Sandmans from, i think itd have more like visible subcultures. I'm gonna go into it in haunted and holy and in my show pony au thats still gonna be in the drafts for a while but. The city would have like distinct scenes the zones are like a melting pot with only a few crews/cliques really like. Claiming to be/looking like anything specific. But like in the Pony au you'll see them with like the hip hop kinda rebels fucking around on the streets with a boombox and in haunted and holy you'll see the general funsandkid thing of sandman dragging them to goth clubs and raves and shit and doing their makeup and getting them more into that specific genre of music. And they all cry together to the cure and fuck to depeche mode. Or something like that.

Also. Polycule of genderfucks. As if any polycules in danger days arent but. None of them have a single set of pronouns except for Kobra. Trans guy Kobra, the guygirl ever Ghoul, and genderfluid Sandman.

Oh oh oh also Sandman thing that I've been Thinking abt and doodling. Sandman with natural hair. Specifically dreads or the bleached tips like those few photos of Pete we have because he would look so fucking cool

[bytedykes]

use this ask as a free pass to talk about jfa!!! what was ur favorite part/case/character/etc !! >:0

omg thank u for the pass <3 !!!!

ok omg i did like the lost turnabout i thought it was stupid (affectionate) but entertaining, i assume they just did that to refresh how to actually play the game for the player? either way it was so dumb absolute 10/10, i wouldn't give it up for anything. phoenix is already dumb in court always but no memory phoenix being dumb in court? amazing. showstopping. unparalleled. also i like maggey :) <3

episode 2!!! aaaaaaauughhh i really liked this one too! i love pearly she's my baby she's my favorite little girl she's the one and only <3 i want to put her in a centrifuge (affectionate) also i think franziska is introduced in this case right ? i love her as well she's one of the most mean lesbians of all time

umm about the case itself i was rlly into them showing more feys! i liked getting to explore more or kurain village and they feys' family dynamics etc, i think ini/mimi and morgan working together to do evil tm was done well! i like ini also. absolute rocks for brains girlie i want to draw her but havent yet <3 AND MIMI, i felt so proud of myself when i was putting the clues together akkadajdsk!! im generally rlly into all of aa's sibling dynamics so this was like a little treat for me <3 stealing ur dead sister's identity and faking your own death… real !

yeah tho the way they developed the fey family lore in this case. very good. im a fan <3

its been a while since i actually played case 2 because cases 3 and 4 took me like a month each 😭 im missing a lot about it probably but ghjhdjdjf i also liked seeing lotta again, she's one of my beloved side characters and it was nice to see her again! god my brain is so empty. the magatama being introduced in this case! also very cool, i had to google how to use it because im stupid but once i figured it out i thought it was really neat and had fun with that

(also mia's boobs becoming plot relevant in this case?? mkjskd also A Moment for sure)

(omg i just remembered pearly ran from kurain village to the courthouse in this case? just straight up sprinted? she's an icon she's so real she IS the moment!!! 💞)

ok case 3 i hate case three <3 i hate it i hate it i hate ittttt sooo much!!! doubly mad about it because i am a circus + clown enjoyer and around the time i was playing it i got to see a history of circus museum so like UGH turnabout big top could have been genuinely so good but it just wasnt! it was gross! :/ all the characters rlly did have like potential to be cool and interesting but instead they were all child predators like come on 😭 the one decent guy is the murderer (i was excited for seeing a wheelchair user too :( but nooo we cant have good things in the aa circus!!!) and hjhfdjshj idk <3 yeah least favorite case for sure. my friend warned me it was gonna be bad but no one could have truly made me understand how bad it was until i played it lmao. genuinely like its even shittier bc it COULD HAVE been good :(

(i did like some of the franziska moments in case 3 tho… shes a shithead and i love her <3)

CASE 4 MY BELOVED i loved case 4!!! going to try to organize these thoughts a little because its freshest on my mind and i have the most to say about it lol

will powers!! i was excited that they brought back will powers, he's another side character im an enjoyer of, and i liked seeing him :) and lotta again!! i love her <3

i love pearly in this case she's sooo <33 i love her! she's so cute and makes me sad sometimes i want to hold her

engarde ! he was cool! i like the whole stage persona thing, the constant fucking repetition of "refreshing like a spring breeze" got so annoying but like in a satisfying way? like. jdhfjd it was annoying bc it was supposed to be i guess, not bc the writing was bad if that makes sense? i liked his twist, i liked the stupid sprite of him pushing his bangs out of his face, i like the random materialization of the brandy(?) glass, i like?? his general cuntiness?? sdsdskd idk he was fun i liked him as a character and as a villain

OHH i was. hm i dont wanna be like i was a fan of the misogyny but hghdjfj i felt very strongly about how both corrida and engarde were shithead assholes and how willing both of them were to like. use this woman's life and death for their own gain. and how that affected adrian and subsequently maya… idk!!! lots of thoughts but no words, but that did feel well written to me and definitely made me feel strong things

also i really like how in aa1 phoenix breaks down zero doors but in aa2 he breaks down two doors. 10/10. let this man break down doors

edgeworth trying to give ppl (mainly phoenix) life advice throughout this case is?? so funny? i get he went on his self actualization and learned the real meaning of being a lawyer etc but hguhjfdhjd miles "i heart repressing my emotions" edgeworth?? claiming to be well adjusted and qualified to give others advice?? hilarious. 10/10. even better that it actually WORKS on phoenix ubfdjhdjfh

(not saying edgeworth DIDN'T successfully work on his emotional state and go to therapy etc but like. come on. its edgeworth. u know what i mean lol)

THE AFTERCREDITS SCENE BROKE ME LMAO everything about it makes me want to put my head thru a wall <3 franziska and miles interacting in general, her telling him that she will no longer be living in his shadow, her crying sprite, her leaving for germany, THE FOURTH PIECE OF EVIDENCE CARD AAAAAAA it fucked me up it really did!! maya drawing nick on the card she found while she's kidnapped really made me feel things! they are siblings your honor!!! i have so many feelings about this and the way it was set up + revealed but aghhh i cant put any of them to words it just made me yell really loud and screenshot the card a hundred times !

uhh yeah those are most of my thoughts i think!! tldr i liked this game it was fun (aside from case 3 the motherfucker) and id play it again for sure!! my favorite case was two i think, four is a close second but even knowing how it would end (im not immune to scrolling the aa tag for hours and getting spoilered rip) it was pretty stressful with the kidnapping djdjdj

yeah :) good game good game

[heavyskysystem]

cederic going on a loooong fucking tangent

like really fucking long, but hey, getting his feelings so unfiltered I wont say no to

cederic is saying "I could also say woe is me ill always life in her shadow. But ive learned that crying about it doesnt use me anything. Esp when I love you that much and care for you, and dont remotely share his opinions on you. I dont know why he had to see you in such a negative light. youre wonderful. youre full of promise. youre allowed to be a host with weaknesses, youll figure it out. Thats how I know you, youll always figure it out. I honestly dont think im as formed as you are either, and id take a long time to develop enough to take on a full life, but honestly I dont even want to. just being who I am is enough. I get to be around you. I get to speak to others if I want to. I dont know how horrible this felt for joshua, but as I split off from him I like to think.. that I dont know, why I think youre so wonderful when he thought youre so shit. Maybe he pretended to dislike you to keep up his little charade. But now im here and I wont let that asshole hurt you again. And I know im far from perfect. I know im not as horrible as I used to be, I got a little better. But id never stoop as low as him and use our own feelings as a stick to beat you with. I did not inherit his massive emotional pain, but id like to think hes half to blame for still being in it himself. Because my own fears got better when I let you help me, when I let you do your thing. I got better too when I allowed you to be happy again, I am dependent on you, I am like.. a .. pimple on your skin. Not able to have a full life without you. Adam maybe could have that, but most of us couldnt. Lilith maybe could have that, but most of us couldnt. I feel embarassed at anything ive done to you. Still do. I never want to be as bad as him, and I dont understand using our own pain to torture you. It shouldnt be that way. It was so nice when you cared for me, when you tried to ease the fears and pain I was in. Why wouldnt he choose being cared about by you and instead turn it into something he cant bounce back from, doing things he can never take back, just how I did things I can never take back. But I doubt youll give him a second chance unless youre forced to. He couldve had what I had, he couldve had your care, your love, and I also sabotaged this, I also denied it to myself with having to hurt you whilst you offered it so freely.. You know your friend is right, you really are that caring, that sweet to us? And we dont make it easy. But love will win. we will prosper. It hurts me to see you get so down on yourself. I want you to win. And itll be my win too when you do. I might not be always dependable when youre in pain and sometimes I just see a weakness in it to take advantage of because of how much I got from our abusers, but sometimes I just see someone to take care of too. And I know its confusing for you to never truly know. But you said im on a good way to become more dependable, and as uncomfortable as being seen as the good guy for the first time was, how much it scared me, I like to think its true. Youll make me a better person and ill still choose the way of least resistance and let you do most of the work, but ill do it

I wish I was kinder so I would like myself now. I think in the end youre right, right about people like us. We might enjoy the power, it might make us feel like gods, but fuck do we hate ourselves. Youve always been right. Cause I cant love myself when im so horrible to you.

I feel like crying because youre right, everything I was afraid of, the intimacy, the lying close to you and listening to each others emotions, it really is the best. You always had this impulse to try to force me to do this. Or maybe I only experienced it as force because im such an arrogant shithead, though you can be quite annoying about it, repeat your little requests endlessly no matter how often I tell you no. But you were right, this does feel so good now that im not as afraid of it. This does feel priceless. I know, I know from your perspective it was a cute little request and you didnt force me. But honestly I am not protesting that you forced it, like I said, it did me good.

Youre more often right than you arent and its better to listen to you.

Im not trying to write a book, in my opinion you could just not post it. I am glad I got it out of my system, but you could also post it if you want it in my tag. Go ahead. I wont yell at you over that. Ill smooch you.

[ignify-caligo]

i cant remember if i already asked this or not but: random hc for all the scoiatael:

who would win in a just dance esque dance battle and what would be their go to song ?

ik ive sent u a lot of asks so no pressure to do this one!

Random HC’s from you are total bangers so far! Never played just dance personally, so sorry in advance if I mix some shit up! These are probably extremely random (tbh that’s the point but shhh) and stray away from the ask, but these are just vibes they give me. So, stopping with the chatter, here’s how these idiots would break their bones while doing this (plus my random as hell music taste! :D) .

ൠ - random headcanon

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

ൠ - random headcanon

Cedric

He’s being assigned as the judge of this hellscape, even if he shows interested in joining the playtime. The others find his ex – scoia’tael status as basic neutrality, so he should be neutral in his statements. Which in all honesty, is perfectly fine with him because he for one, absolutely despises dancing because he is, to be honest, shitty at it. His go-to song would be Masquerade by Lindsey Sterling, only because it doesn’t have any lyrical lines and it makes it ‘easier to match his struggling to.

Eldain

Compared to others on this list, he’s the more average dancer. Perhaps a little under the ‘average’ rank, but don’t blame him, he always has been more of the musical type than anything else. But he would be damned if he didn’t join. Because someone he loved with his whole heart, would certainly join in on the fun and enjoy every millisecond. Picking a song for him is such a difficult task because he’s going to judge the hell out of it and the worst thing is it’s going to be accurate to the last detail. But if he couldn’t use his own music, he would probably pick a tavern banger e.g., Get out Ye Black and Tans by Derek Warfield or Sweet Dreams remix by Steve Void.

Iorveth

He leans more towards the warm climate of flamenco or tango. These dances match him perfectly, to a bystander it looks like he’s gliding across the dance floor. He’s one of the top candidates to first place, either because it’s genuine skills or he’s threatening the hell out of Cedric. Plus, he is even adding some backstory behind his performance, like it was a Shakespearean spectacle of sorts. Because he’s totally that kind of extra and dramatic. His song must match his dramatics, so his go-to would be El Tango De Roxanne from “Moulin Rouge”. Which when you hear it, you can probably guess who’s getting pissed at Iorveth every time he puts it on the play.

Ciaran

I don’t want to expose his ass out to the world… but he would wish for that he could be truly decent in dancing. He’s clumsy and the type to lose the rhythm in the middle of a dance. Iorveth once tried to drag him into the ‘flamenco/tango’ side. Didn’t work, Ciaran ended up with a sore backside after falling several times. Cedric would probably give him some points for effort and dedication, but that wouldn’t push him up the ranking very much. Ciaran’s the total pop kid in the whole group, he’s song choices would range from the most popular once to e.g., Принцесса (Printsessa) by Babek Mamedrzeaev.

Isengrim

His entry can be described as step dancing. This shithead (not derogatory, we love this man) doesn’t do anything besides step dancing, give him whatever kind of song and this man will find a way to make it match his moves. Not the other way around, he’s not going to give up against a challenge. He’s a master at work when it comes to his moves, his sticks for legs move in perfect sync and rhythm. Out of all of them, he’s competing against Iorveth for the first place, the others sadly don’t make the cut for first place. Don’t eat me for the song choice though, Rasputin by Boney M. is his national anthem from now on! I don’t make the rules, he does.

Yaevinn

Ok, this is probably gonna attract some thoughts, but this man believes himself to be the absolute elite at dancing. Like, he thinks it is so easy as stealing a child’s candy. To be real, he has two left legs with arthritis. He takes three steps and is down like a plank. Also, he’s a sore loser. But he prefers to watch rather than dance anyways, so he ends up sucking it up after being a little salty. His choice when it comes to the song is Котик (Kotik) by Alexander Rybak. Don’t even ask me why it just gives of Yaevinn vibes for some weird reason.

Headcanon Meme Here

[gcldenchild]

let it be known that goldie is not okay by any stretch of the imagination. 

as shown in the ask post, he has some serious mental health issues. his most pressing? his suicidal tendencies and thoughts. this covers how those came to be, and how they’ve affected him throughout his life.

to say that he’d always dealt with it is inaccurate, but it certainly has been persistent for a good portion of his life, even before the attempt at transmutation.

at first, it was only the thoughts. they were minor, of course. after his mom died and he and al were truly left orphaned, ed had wondered if it was because he existed that their dad left. hohenheim was crying in that one photo they had together, after all. it always stuck at the back of his mind, and thus began the fantasizing in order to somehow justify what had happened to him and his brother.

he grew a mild fascination with death. constantly envisioning what it would’ve been like if he’d never been born- or died before he could damage his parents relationship somehow- and how al would’ve lived afterwards.

how al would’ve felt having a normal family to take care of him for his whole childhood, instead of it being completely taken away when he was only four. 

part of it stemmed from an inherent longing to see his mother again in some fashion, twisted into childlike fantasies where he’s the one to die first and watches on from whatever kind of heaven he’d go to, reunited when the rest of his family passed on. peacefully.

he didn’t want to deal with grief anymore, but he couldn’t deny his true reality. their mother was gone, their shithead father was nowhere to be seen, and the house was unbearably lonely. things began to get overwhelming. he’d begun to grow slightly delirious in his study of alchemy. 

most of it is masked as enthusiasm. it becomes a subconscious habit to talk about alchemy with a fake sense of determination, in order to fool the people around him into believing he wasn’t losing his mind understanding the greater world of science ahead of him, with every single word he’d read swirling around in his brain as he attached it all to the fading face of his father.

yock island, though instilling a certain lesson, does intense damage to his psyche. it was the first time he’d started to grow uncomfortable with his own fascinations. at this point, it wasn’t his own life at stake- it was al’s, too. he’d already started losing it by studying things for days on end, but nearly starving to death with his brother really put things into perspective. 

he learned the meaning of all is one and one is all, but the cost could not be justifiable. not when a pool of fear stirred in his gut constantly, him finally aware of the true nature behind all his “harmless” fantasies. 

he tried to shut them out. to ignore them. and then izumi had to go and warn them to never commit the taboo of human transmutation. 

something broke in ed the day he even suggested that they try to find a way to crack human transmutation. so much had grown. he’d barely been able to get up that morning. even still, he acted like everything was normal. like he wasn’t struggling to even stand, being crushed under the weight of his spiraling, pent up emotions and thoughts.

he just talks with al, and something in him just... breaks. completely. he can’t bear the weight of it all anymore, and he finally talks, from the darkest recesses of his soul.

“i think we could bring mom back.”

he wishes al could’ve known better. he regrets ever saying those words, ever pushing his brother to help him with it all, ever placing his hands on that transmutation circle. 

for a brief moment, he feels like he dies. it’s almost satisfying, to him. and then he wakes up in the fucking gate, truth taking his leg as payment. and then- the fucking thing they brought to life, for the cost of al’s whole body and his leg. it spits blood, reaches out at him, and he has to literally resist the urge to retch and let himself bleed out.

he only continues for al. to get al back. al didn’t deserve this. he was only ten, damnit. 

it gets worse. he screams during his automail surgery, ranting about anything he can think of, trying to keep himself breathing. trying to push through it all for alphonse. everything is boiling over, and he can’t handle it. 

he slowly begins to develop anger as a protective shield. it’s the only way he’s able to shut everything in his head up. the only time it begins to boil over to a point he can’t control is when he can’t bring himself to be angry.

ed still cared for other people, no matter how much he tried to ignore it. he still does good things out of his own natural moral code. unfortunately, though, being that nice? it actively hurt him, because it lets the chaos spiraling in his stomach return. he’d barely be able to get up the next day without a solid thirty minutes of extra “sleep.”

his naps become ways for him to cope with the hellish cacophony. it’s just so much easier to yell and not acknowledge the fact that people want to help him, no matter how much he may need it. 

when nina happens, the nightmare that follows- although not the first of its kind- is one of the only ones to render him inconsolable upon waking. he can’t just go back to sleep, but he can’t talk, either. he has to sit through it, with his heightened breath, the heavy feeling in his chest practically choking him the entire time.

he shuts people out. he shuts his own brother out. the normal facade serves its purpose well.

when scar almost kills him, he is pained to say that the conflict in his head is wildly disproportionate.

living for al’s sake is outclassed by the want to die.

it’s the first example of his thoughts breaking out from their prison. he was ready to accept death, above all else. and then al punches him for being stupid. with everything having already snapped, he can only respond as if he were a deer in headlights, unable to truly comprehend the situation.

things just get worse. and worse. and worse. he can’t cope with it all. his anger keeps exploding, trying to protect him from himself. to keep him from going through with some of those thoughts and just sacrificing himself to get his own brother’s body back, as if the world would be better off without him.

to an extent, he was convinced it would. he never acted upon it consciously, however.

ed would never make a direct attempt. he’d do stupidly self-sacrificial things sometimes, yes, but he’d never try to kill himself outright. he wouldn’t want al to see- al had already had enough death in his life, and ed didn’t want to burden him with both his own death and the fact he was his own murderer at once.

this doesn’t stop the fantasies from getting worse. though. nor does it stop him from looking at himself in the mirror, hallucinating both the feel and sight of choking himself. (not like that would be the only way, though, of course. he’d imagined so many, over and over, and they played in his head constantly.)

he thinks about it so, so much. al is the only thing to keep him grounded. his little brother is the only being that grounds him.

it doesn’t stop him from doing things to harm himself, though. when he’s alone, he finds himself knocking against the side of his own head hard or pulling on his hair to intentionally cause pain. his head becomes sensitive, but only because hes desperate to do anything to drown everything out.

one could even find scratch marks along his arm from when he gripped onto it too hard during one of his fits, paired with the tips of his automail having a sharper edge. he hates letting people see those, but at least they’re faint. he can play them off as simple wounds from getting into a fight. the bruises are a different story, but its not as if he cant make something else up to explain them.

he panics when people see through his facade, and retaliates with even worse anger. he goes on the attack like a caged animal because deep down, he WANTS help. it’s just hard for him to even receive it before he’s been completely, utterly broken for that day.

being separated from al is debilitating.

even though he knows that alphonse can handle himself, it still does not change the fact that he’s become unhealthily dependent on him. al is his entire reason for living, and being far from that tether eats away at what composure he has left.

when he’s impaled, he wasn’t even sure if what he was going to do would even work. to envision himself as a philosopher’s stone? he’d never had that sort of a handle on his own soul before.

as he’d seen with envy, though, the yelling of everything inside him, screaming to be let out perfectly matched the stones of the homunculi. ed saved his own life, only letting himself live for alphonse, wherever he may have gone.

the months of being separated are fucking torture.

or, at least, they are, for only a while. by the time he was in alenthaal, ed had grown ... unnaturally hopeless. even though he looked fine, almost everyone in town saw through his mask.

luitumi is the one to break him first.

“edward?” “yeah, whats up, luitumi?” “you don’t need to pretend anymore.”

he’s completely dumbfounded. she attacks him right at his core. naturally, he puts up his shield, trying to force her out. to get her away from his problems. and then she fucking takes his normal hand, squeezes it, and looks at him with those unwavering glass eyes, and he breaks. 

it’s all let out at once. every thought swirling around manifests as panicked crying, yelling, whining- really, anything he can verbalize. he says “you don’t know anything,” and she shuts him up completely by saying “i wouldn’t be talking to you if i didn’t, edward.”

she doesn’t destroy his shield. she takes the other route of forcing him to put it down.

ed still doesn’t remember a lot from that day, other than the feeling of being hugged by multiple people at once. the entirety of team lazarus.

emotionally drained, he can barely get up the next day, too. but instead of suffering through it by himself, he can feel a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him through it. 

he’d fallen asleep inside the living room, and lucaun and carson were waiting for him the next morning. luitumi was making food with yularosá, and cobalt was talking with heinkel and darius and greed.

it’s ... sickeningly domestic.

and yet, it wasn’t something he’d experienced since mom died. he hadn’t felt this familial safety since then, not even at the rockbell house. luitumi had broken down his walls in a single night, most likely fueled by whatever emotions charity had been able to pick up on, and now the rest of the people who could be considered “friends” in this fucking town are doing what they can to help.

talking with any of them about his feelings becomes mandatory. they don’t give him a choice, and for some reason, he can’t bring himself to fight it. the better part of him knows that he needs it.

at first, its twice a day. usually luitumi and lucaun handle it. cobalt and carson deal with his constantly presenting daddy issues, though. carson knew the feeling of growing up with a dad who didn’t love him (and, initially, no dad at all), and cobalt knew the feeling of fucking hating his own father. 

his need for a parental figure slowly dies down. cobalt will never be a father to him, just like mustang, but he’s okay with that. cobalt doesn’t have any legal standing over him unlike the colonel, and he’s a lot more fucking comfortable with that.

cobalt doesnt have to pretend like he’s a father in any capacity for ed. what he does is out of his own heart, not because he sees ed as a ward.

at least, that’s what ed believes. and he likes it like that. people not pretending to be things they aren’t helps him shut away that one need.

it moves to once a day. he trails them a lot. his attachment issues come into presence, but they keep reminding him that its okay to need someone. slowly but surely, he’s able to deal with being left alone, though not for very long.

it moves to every other day. his thoughts are a lot less loud than he remembers them being. 

it moves to only twice a week. the first time ed doesn’t artificially smile is for their christmas and new years celebrations, when luitumi drags him into the dancing circle with her. the whole thing reminds him of some of the celebrations they used to have in resembool in the summer. he says he’s not a good dancer, but luitumi doesn’t care. he lets her take the lead for the start, and just like everything else in his life, he learns fast. 

he finally begins smiling, completely free of his thoughts for once. he actually has fun that isn’t tethered to everything he’s been building up for over these many years.

alenthaal becomes his safe place. “whats said in alenthaal, stays in alenthaal.” he genuinely believes it to be true.

when the promised day draws closer and closer, he promises to come back. it’s not just al he’s living for, anymore. he’s living for this town, too, full of people who make him feel safe. 

when al sacrifices himself to bring his arm back, it sets ed back what feels like years. his anger returns, completely unstoppable, and his one focus is to kill father. and then greed dies. 

it just gets worse. even with the bastard gone, his progress is still set back significantly.

he yells at hohenheim. calls him a rotten father. he didnt want to deal with any of that self sacrificial garbage, not because that was the man who left them, but because thats exactly what ed does.

he thinks. thinks so, so hard. finally, he draws out the circle, everything finally becoming clear.

he sacrifices his own alchemy. ed doesn’t need it anymore, not when it’s caused him and his brother so much pain.

he has the town of alenthaal. he has his friends. he has his family.

who needs alchemy, when he’s got them?

and he beats truth, in his own special way. al is brought back. even though they spend months in rehabilitation, ed’s head is so much clearer than its ever been.

he returns home resembool. everything was worth it. 

when he visits alenthaal once again, luitumi’s changed. she’s permanently merged with charity as a result of the promised day. they become two extremes- a complete lack of any alchemy at all, and a newfound power that still has so much unknown alchemy to tap into. even still, they share that hug, ed having kept his promise to not die.

he does his best to be more open. alenthaal is his safe haven, but having more than one isn’t impossible.

in the time before he goes off to the west, he tries to open up, bit by bit. its hard. the thoughts aren’t gone, and he knows they never will be. he’ll still have times where he’s rendered useless by them all, but this time, winry and al are there to help. 

his emotions are genuine. his smiles are genuine. he doesn’t have to fake anymore. 

when decides to study alchemy in the west, he knows every possible risk. he continues, despite the danger, because this would be his way of coming to terms with what happened to hohenheim. he ties alchemy to him, and even in death, that doesn’t change.

his father is gone. his father was one of the greatest alchemists the world had seen.

so ed will just overcome him, even without being able to perform alchemy anymore. he’ll prove that he’s more than just his kid. he’ll make his dad proud, as much as he hates calling him by that name.

luitumi joins him on his journey. they ground eachother. neither will have to deal with their pain alone, not this time. ed knows suffering through it isn’t an option for him anymore.

the thoughts will return, once in a while. 

ed no longer shuts them out at this point. he lets them be, allowing them to stir until the mental soup is done. until his head finally becomes clear.

[iron-fam]

"My Son Isn't Dying Yet,"

Prompt from @slytheringirl1307

Prompt: Peter staggers into Avengers Tower, mortally wounded. Tony pays for several professional doctors to keep him alive. The news reporters ask him why he did it, and he always brushes them off. Finally, one day, he turns straight to a reporter and says, "my son isn't dying yet."

Social media goes crazy.

TW: graphic descriptions of injuries, blood

*****

Surprisingly, Tony is asleep when it happens.

He is blissfully floating in a dreamless sleep, with Pepper curled up beside him.

His head immediately splits when F.R.I.D.A.Y. wakes him.

"Boss,"

"What!?" Tony snaps impatiently. The first night in weeks that he was able to fall asleep peacefully.

I never get what I want, do I?

"Peter Parker has entered through the west balcony. His injuries are rather strange and appear to be life threatening. I have already contacted emergency services."

Tony's body goes cold.

"Oh, fuck." He whispers.

Pepper is barely stirring as Tony launches himself out of the bed.

The corners of his vision are turning black. His heart is a frigid steel ball sinking down, down, down until it reaches the pit of his stomach.

He's running. Still running. Peter could be dead before Tony even makes it to the west balcony.

Just a little more.

West balcony.

Just around the corner.

He'll be okay.

He turns the corner too sharp. His shoulder slams into the wall and Tony tumbles to the floor.

Shit.

Shakily, he pushes himself back on his feet.

West balcony.

...

There.

...

Oh, God.

...

The barely recognizable form of a teenage boy lays crumpled in a heap. Red and blue spandex. Matted brown hair. Deep maroon blood.

Tony's legs fail him the moment he reaches the boy's side.

"What-what are," Tony tries to speak, but short and sharp breaths interrupt him. "Are yo-?"

Tony puts his hands on both sides of the boy's face, trying to keep him conscious and focused.

His mask is gone, making this so much fucking worse. Tony needs stay focused. He can't stay calm, collected, and contributive with the kid's terrified eyes boring into his.

Peter's breaths are deep and laborious. He's trying so hard to breathe.

"Tonytonytonytony I can't," Peter sputters. "Didn't kn-kn-know where else-" he swallows hard. "-to go."

"Oh no, it's fine." Tony grumbles sarcastically, scanning Peter's torso for injuries. "This is a great time, really. I was so bored. This is great. Shit."

Peter's entire body is soaked in blood. His bones are crushed. His stomach is littered with gashes and tears. His chest looks like an animal tried to burrow through him.

"Th-th-they weren't human." Peter whispers. "C-couldn't beat them." His eyes squeeze shut, and he groans in agony. "Ran."

"It's okay," Tony gulps. This is bad. This is really fucking bad. How is the kid even talking? "Can't win ev-everytime."

"F-" Peter's breath staggers, like a sputtering engine. "Fell."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.?" Tony growls with appetent irritation.

"Emergency services arriving in three minutes."

Peter shrieks. His eyes are shut tight again, as if he's trying to wake himself up. His lips are parted, showing his teeth gritted together.

"I'm going to die!!" Peter wheezes, voice breaking. Tears begin freely racing down his cheeks, washing away some of the blood splattered on his face.

"No. No, no, no, you're not!" Tony laughs. "I've seen worse." Lies. "It'll be fine."

Peter is crying. That's bad. He needs to stay still. He needs to save his breath. He needs to..

He needs to stay with him.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey." Tony soothes. He tries to ignore the rivers of panic and utter terror that pervade his bloodstream.

Peter's gasping breaths grow shallower. "Going to die. Going to die. G'ng t' die." His words meld together and his words are barely understandable.

As Peter's inhales and exhales weaken, Tony's seem to grow faster and stronger.

"Kid, please."

Black spots bloom across his field of vision. God, he can't feel his hands.

The boy's chest is lurching now. His breaths go back to resembling a sputtering car engine; quick, forced, weak, spastic.

"PETER, STOP!" Tony's hands are still holding the boy's head. "STOP IT! FUCK-"

Peter's eyes cant focus. They dance around, never landing on the older man. His irises are frantically bouncing back and forth.

Then, suddenly, they stop.

His eyelids fall.

And his muscles relax.

Tony pulls Peter into his lap.

"No." Shaking. "No, no, no, no, no, no. Peter." He combs the boy's sticky hair back. "Bud, wake up. Please. I need you to wake up. I-I-I can't-"

"Boss, emergency services are here."

*****

"He's sustained injuries far worse than anything we've ever handled."

"There's only so much we can do."

"Our knowledge of these kind of injuries is limited."

"Our technology is limited."

*****

"Mr. Stark, we're doing all we can."

"Do more." The billionaire grumbles hoarsely. "Or I'll find someone else."

"He's been in a comatose state for nine days. We barely have any information about the incident and his injuries are unlike anything we've ever seen."

"And?"

The doctor bites her lip. She's nervous. "We don't know what to do, sir."

Tony laughs. "Well, I dont know what I expected. Community hospital. You're practically a kid and hardly capable of being a doctor."

The woman shrinks, her gaze falling to her shoes. Tony would almost feel bad if he had the will to feel anything.

Tony leaves her and crouches in front of a messy brunette woman sitting with her face in her hands.

"May," Tony hums. "Let me. This place is a shithole. These doctors don't know shit and they can't help him."

May stays silent.

Tony is persistent. "I doubt blondie back there could even put a bandaid on a papercut. Please. I'm hiring professionals. Specialists. The best of the best. I won't let him die here... Fuck, I won't let him die, period. I can save him."

May sniffs, and lifts her head to look at Tony.

"Let me." He whispers.

The heartbroken woman nods.

*****

Bright flashes.

Camera shutters.

Microphones.

The same old shit. He's used to it by now.

Swarms of people and flashing lights, suffocating him.

"Stark! Over here!"

A microphone is shoved into his face.

Happy silently shoves the reporter away from Tony. However, the douchebag is persistent.

"Stark! Is it true you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on medical personnel to help one of your interns?"

This shit again.

For weeks now, that's all anyone can ever seem to ask him about.

Another dick with a microphone pipes up, "Why would you spend so much money on a kid that only has a minimal professional relationship to you?"

"What is the boy's name?"

"Is there any personal relation between you and this intern?"

Ignore. Just ignore them.

Over the years, Tony got pretty good at ignoring shitheads who can't mind their own business.

"Rumor has it that the boy's condition continues to worsen!"

"Do you truly believe he will live?"

"Considering your financial history and what you usually spend your money on, don't you think you're wasting your money?"

Someone shouts. "Have you considered pulling the plug, Stark?"

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

God, just ignore it.

"The kid's dying," the man continues. "Is there any use in continuing to fund his care?"

Tony whips around, finding the man the voice belongs to.

He takes a fistful of the mans shirt and pulls him close.

The crowd goes silent. Someone should intervene. Tony can feel Happy's hand gently placed on his back, trying to ease him away.

Tony's grip on the man's shirt remains firm.

He remembers that he's surrounded. Surrounded by hundreds of cameras, microphones, and pairs of ears. Listening.

He growls, "My son isn't dying yet,"

And with that, he releases the man, who is gasping and brushing off his panic.

The billionaire briskly walks to his car, and Happy drives him away.

They leave a hoarde of stunned paparazzi behind.

*****

@ironfan_12

IRON MAN HAS A SON!

@newyork_dawG

wow stark has a kid?? pretty shitty life that kid has. i feel bad for him.

@superheroconspiracies

Does Tony stark really have a biological teenage son? Michael and I explore this intriguing story on today's episode of Superhero Conspiracies!

@nytimes

Superhero billionaire Tony Stark (Iron Man) accidentally reveals to press that the injured boy he's been paying for treatment for is actually his son.

@spidey_gal_numba1

@Real_TonyStark sending all of my thoughts and prayers to you and your son!! He'll pull through!

*****

@Real_TonyStark

Very relieved to say that my intern is going to pull through

@cl_barton

Man, cut the bullshit. We know he ain't no "intern."

[boy-porridge-vent]

April 9 2020 Twitter Thread Rant

the only time i deleted tweets was back in november bc you were mad at me for posting them so i was like "ok, you dont want them up? then i'll take them down just for u" then u freaked out that i was "deleteing tweets!!! trying to hide!!!" no, i just wanted you to shut up abt it most of the time we do it privately and dont interact with each other's venting!!! when you do it, you go public, use usernames, faces, direct names in order to claim youre "the good person for directly calling them out"  no youre putting them in danger. I'll only come here to vent or talk about my issues 

 Future TW// self harm ed suic*dal thoughts abuse idk, other stuff that is bad ig lmao This is my space to do with as I please

Even blocked my partner and best friends :) Happy now? Scum.

In fact, even just to make my abusive ex and my other cheating ex happy, I not only blocked them but blocked every from school I could find There. Now truly nobody knows me. Are you guys happy now? Forcing your victim to stay quiet & hide AGAIN? Like youve always done to me?????

Fake ass.... you claim to be my friend yet anything I tell you goes straight to my ex and drama starts again bc you pretend to be on my side hating her, then youre on her side against me Now youre taking screenshots from my friends and sending them to my ex... shady shit

call me a hypocrite yet youre being hypocritical on your story. I see haha

telling people to write in a diary instead of online, yet you've written how you feel online, you made 9-12 public posts for ~460 people to see, all with rants and venting about me, made 5 public stories about my friend and brought my name into it. When will you learn.

you say something like "you can talk shit and its ok, but when it do it, its not ok?" no, here's the problem. You do it in the wrong way. We actually keep it private and resolve our anger with friends that are also struggling bc of you and understand the situation

most of the time we do it privately and dont interact with each other's venting!!! when you do it, you go public, use usernames, faces, direct names in order to claim youre "the good person for directly calling them out"  no youre putting them in danger.

when my friend posted to his story about you, it was on his PRIVATE VENT account.... what it's supposed to be used for....? Venting about how he feels abt my other ex copying him, and you giving into my ex simply bc you both dislike me. It's childish. 

You and my ex go on public ramblings for everyone to see and use direct names or usernames as if people are gonna hunt us down? Ive never done that to you. I talk about you with my friends at school sure, but online? I NEVER shared your username. NEVER shared your name. Nothing.

The only info people could use to figure out who you were was me calling you a cheater, using the word "whore" because thats what you CALLED YOURSELF as we were breaking up!!!!! And talking about your pet that you only have because of me

You also say me and many of my friends are cowards for blocking you, bc if we werent blocking you you'd be "all up in our dm's" is that why you made a whole new twitter account dedicated to calling me a clown and immediately blocked me so I couldnt find it?? Okay "coward"

I blocked you bc you've admitted to people that you stalk my instagram, you stalk my twitter, yet when i block you to make you stop (bc ive had issues with stalking before) you get mad??? youre like "ok coward, if you had nothing to hide then why did block and private"

because 1.) i dont like stalkers and you know that 2.) i made everything private bc you were literally throwing a fit about how my months and months old rants were pUbLiC and anybody could see them, so I made it private so ppl dont read about you,

now now youre mad bc you cant go through my twitter anymore without following  and you cant find anymore of your sacred screenshots. again, i have nothing to hide. thats why i havent deleted my old tweets. bc I stand by what I say.

the only time i deleted tweets was back in november bc you were mad at me for posting them so i was like "ok, you dont want them up? then i'll take them down just for u" then u freaked out that i was "deleteing tweets!!! trying to hide!!!" no, i just wanted you to shut up abt it

the other time i deleted was march 31? bc you decided to use your NEW bf to get onto his old account (which hadnt been active since 2017....) and retweet a vent of mine. I was like "yea no im not gonna have you stalk my twitter through your bf thats ridiculous"

after he retweeted, you went on that posting spree on instagram about how all my stuff was public. So i deleted the tweet he retweeted just to make you happy. It's either leave them public and you shame me for public tweeting, delete them but ur mad that im being fake? or make my account private and now youre mad bc you cant search through my account of 4 years like the gross rat you are

it's funny how you can also post public tweets about me for your followers to see, and when I find out I didnt say shit to you, didnt start drama with you, i took my screenshots and left. then you deleted them..... i bet if someone called you out for it you would pretend you didnt say shit until someone pulled out the screenshots bc that's what you do, you act like you did nothing until somebody proves you wrong w the evidence, then u pretend like "ohh those tweets! Um yea, uh..."

wit yo fake ass you were all our friend, you were in the friend group bc we cared about you, until you dated me on and off over and over, tried to fuck one of our friends after prom, crushed on one of my friends and your coworker, bitched at me if i didnt invite you to hangout.. even if you ween invited, dated me again while also dating someone from discord while also being sneaky with one of your neighbor guys. Calling me a crybaby for being upset about the breakup even tho you vented about your military ex for months and months..... you even went to your online discord friend who was now your ex and told him how shitty my friends and I were for not inviting you to the Halloween party..... funny thing about that... you chose to opt out. You wanted to spend halloween with your new bf, the one in college, but guess what? He left your ass to go to his own party, so after that THEN you changed your mind and wanted to go to OUR party

OUR party, which had maxed out the guest limit. You said you didnt want to go, so you got removed and replaced with somebody else who COULD and WANTED to go. Tough luck. You leave the line at the BMV, you get sent to the back. Thats how it works.

Then u told your discord ex how shitty we all were & made us out to be shitheads bc we "didnt invite u" we did invite you. u chose not to go until it was too late. that was ur fault. not to mention u had been starting drama & being weirdly sexual w ppl in the group at the time

you wanted to fuck my friend after prom despite knowing he was crushing on a girl & wanted to make it work??? Wanted to suck my friend's dick in the back of the culinary room despite knowing he was with another girl? flirting w girls online despite having a partner? disgustang

even now, u JUST got w a new dude & youre already telling people abt the weird shit yall do. Ur sending him to spy on ppl from the friend group. Getting him involved even tho he's really chill & I have no problem w him??? I hated J bc he was w you, I dont wanna hate this guy too

like damn shawty u say im a hypocrite for not lettin u shit talk.... i do let u. Ive caught u saying shit on twitter & insta but Ive never made any posts abt it like u did. i saw what u said on twitter, or even our dms when u call me a crybaby? but i never posted about it like u

i couldve totally taken a screenshot of your immature dm of insults and no actual argument and posted it all over the place, but I didnt. I couldve posted your vents and rants from twitter, your main insta, and your vent insta all over the place, but I never did. Yet you can??

[mythical-song-wolf]

BNHA Angst Week

Day 7: Rose // Time

White day was fast approaching and normally, after being in a relationship for so long, Izuku would be excited for that day. Because he gets to pamper and get pampered by his Kacchan.

But he can’t do that.

Why?

Because he’s back a good decade or so before he even started dating Katsuki. He’s back in middle school, a good month before the sludge villain and meeting All Might. Over a good year before he and Kacchan finally clear up that misunderstanding that was— is simmering between them since they were kids.

But Deku just wants his Kacchan, even if only for a moment. He’s knows it’s selfish. He knows it’s wrong. He knows he shouldn’t be doing things. But... the heart wants what the heart wants and Deku doesn’t know if he’ll be okay if he doesn’t at least do this.

Izuku goes out to buy somethings. He’ll need to be careful when buying it. Hopefully Kacchan doesn’t see him, he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he sees those beautiful crimson eyes again.

Katsuki stops over to class, irritated and patience waning since he woke up.

First his mom had to shout him awake, saying that her and the old man will be out to get stuff for White day and all that shit.

Second, he was reminded fucking White day was coming up. The day he was planning on asking that nerd... Before that bastard... No. He shouldn’t think of it. There’s no use thinking about it when he’s been set back by literal years. Him and Deku aren’t a thing yet.

Deku is still the derogatory nickname he used for Izuku for years. It’s not the name of a hero just yet.

Deku, to Katsuki at this point in the timeline, is a useless, Quirkless, weak pebble on the side of the road that Katsuki should not pay mind to.

But Katsuki knows better. He’s a goddamn time traveller, of course he would know better. He knows Deku has a better heart than most Pro Heroes. He knows Deku would sacrifice himself again and again and again to save someone. He knows Deku is stronger than anyone he’s ever met. He knows Deku is the name of a hero, of a Symbol of Hope.

He knows that Deku is the name that brought— will bring hope in people’s hearts. Brought— bring hope in the hearts of Ochako, Tenya, Shouto, Eri, Sir Fucking Nighteye, and various other people.

But to him, Deku is the name of the guy that was always chasing after him. The guy he’s known since they were kids. And while they were never on friendly terms before U.A.. They always had a strange synergy with each other. When they didn’t think about it they moved seamlessly and in tandem with the other.

The first time it happen outside of training and life threatening situations is after they had long since started dating and moved into the same apartment. They were making dinner one night and they weaved and moved around perfectly with the other, passing things along and moving as easily as they would in a battle. The realization that they didn’t say a word to each other during the entire time they were cooking hit them when they were eating as one of them started talking.

They paused, before they broke out in a fit of giggles. A warm fluttering in their hearts as they smiled and laughed so hard that their cheeks started to hurt and they could both barely breathe.

After they calmed down, Izuku sighed, looking at Katsuki with his shining green eyes, “I love you...” He smiled at him with his eyes shining like emeralds reflecting the colour of the sea during sunset.

Katsuki smiled back, “I love you too, dork,” He chuckled, “Now, let’s eat?”

Izuku chuckled, before nodding, “Yeah.”

Katsuki’s heart flutters at the memory, before it painfully coils. He can’t have that now. He can’t have that for a long, long time. He won’t wake up to Izuku’s cute freckled mug in the morning. He won’t come home to cuddle with Izuku on the couch after a rough day. He won’t have the cheesy but nice walks down the park or beach during sunset. He won’t have Izuku looking at him like he’s... no, Izuku already looks up to him. He just won’t have Izuku looking at him the way he looks at Izuku right now.

Katsuki goes out. He doesn’t want to— shouldn’t be home alone right now. He might do something stupid like break a window or make a dent in the wall.

Izuku was pacing through the market, a checklist in hand and a hood over his head.

“Let’s see, I need some chocolate, cream... cocoa powder... caramel... food colouring...” Izuku mutters, as he walks into a grocery store and weaves through the aisles of the store. Briefly glancing up to check the shelves for the item’s he’s looking for and picking out what he needs.

Izuku hums once he’s done, “Perfect! Now I just need to do— Oof!” He bumps into another person while turning the corner.

“Sorry—” The voice sounds familiar... probably one of his classmates... great.

Izuku shakes his head, “No, it’s fin—” Izuku looks up see pale blonde hair and crimson red eyes. His heart stops. No.

“De- Deku...” Kacchan mutters, hesitant and unsure, sounding nothing like the boy Izuku remembers him to be at this time. But Izuku doesn’t notice over the own ache in his heart.

Izuku swallows down the fear in his system, “Ka- Kacchan...”

The two just stand there for a few moments, staring at each other. As if they’re trying to find something that they have already accepted it isn’t there.

He’s not yours yet.

I know.

“We- Well, Kacchan, I- I need to go,” Izuku stutters, hopefully Katsuki doesn’t notice the crack in his voice, taking a step back before walking around Katsuki.

Katsuki breaks out of his haze when Izuku leaves, he sighs and combs a hand through his hair.

Good job, shithead. You scared him.

Shut up... He... he isn’t the... he’s not my Izuku.

Not yet.

Katsuki shakes his head, ignoring the stupidly hopeful whispers in his brain telling him to woo Izuku now and not make the same mistakes as before. He wants to, too. Oh how he fucking wants to. How much he wants to change how he treated Izuku. How much he wants to change how terrible they both were at communicating properly. How... he so badly wants to change how Izuku looks at him, with his pretty eyes staring at him like a rabbit sensing a predator. How Izuku seems to freeze the moment they lock eyes, unmoving and scared. Scared of Katsuki.

Katsuki shakes his head, telling his brain to stop, before he continues buying stuff from the store with the occasional sight of Deku’s fluff green hair.

Katsuki sees the flower display and spots a suisen.

Maybe I should...

Izuku was currently sleeping the warmth of his bed, a warm figure pressed against his back holding him close.

Izuku instinctually snuggles up closer to them, “Kacchan...”

“Mhm,” Katsuki grumbles, nuzzling his face into Izuku’s hair.

A part of Izuku’s brain jolts into awareness, you were sent back. Kacchan shouldn’t be here.

Another part, the selfish, foolish, hopeful part of his brain hopes that it’s a lies and wants this to be real. To just have Katsuki with him, right now. Let him have this. Please.

A soft voice whispers in Izuku’s eat, the warmth of their breath making Izuku shiver, “Deku... I’m not there... wake up, Deku, wake up... I’m not there, bunny.”

“Mhm,” Izuku grumbles in protest, “But you’re right here.” Izuku grabs onto Katsuki’s hand that rests on his chest.

Katsuki sighs, and it’s heavy, tired, and wary, “I’m sorry... but... I’m not. He didn’t send me back... Only you... time for you to wake up, Deku... Izuku, wake up.”

Izuku feels himself trembling, clutching onto the hand holding him close, “Please, let me have this,” Izuku begs, as he feels tears roll down his cheeks, “Just let me have him back, just this one moment. Please.”

Katsuki doesn’t say anything, but the warmth from his form is long gone now that Izuku is aware.

“I’m sorry, bunny.” Izuku can feel Katsuki’s presence fading, he turns to see Katsuki actually fading away like an illusion or a dream.

“Please... no... Kacchan... Katsuki... don’t leave me...” Izuku tries to grab some part of the fading figure.

“Please, Izuku, love, don’t cry. Please.” Katsuki places his palm on Izuku’s cheek and wipes away a few tears. Izuku leans into his touch and places his own palm over Katsuki’s, as he fades away and Izuku is left all alone.

When White Day came, Izuku and Katsuki went by the day as normal. Izuku with his isolation and notes, and Katsuki with his showboating. Neither interacting unless provoked by one of their classmates.

Lunch rolls by and the moment everyone leaves, Izuku places something on Katsuki’s desk.

Katsuki returns with his lackeys near the end of lunch to spot a box of chocolate on his desk with flowers. A white rose, a primrose, a red camellia, and a gladiolus. Katsuki looks at the box and the small bouquet for a moment, before glancing around to try and find Deku.

It couldn’t have... no. It’s probably some other idiot... but did this happen in the first timeline? Maybe I’m going a bit insane... but it could’ve only have been him...

Katsuki gently places the box and flowers in his bag.

The school day has ended, and Izuku isn’t surprised he didn’t receive anything from anyone. But it still hurts. A foolish and selfish part of him had hoped that Katsuki was sent back with him and would give him something, but Izuku knows better than that.

Upon opening his locker, a small note falls out.

‘Happy White Day, bunny~ <3

Love, your’s truly’

Bunny... Only Katsuki has ever...

Izuku’s heart flutters at the possibility.

It... it’s never bad to hope... right?

Inside his locker he finds a few more things, a small arrangement of flowers and a box of chocolates. A daffodil, a white camellia, a yellow camellia, a yellow tulip, and a blue iris that stands out amongst the brighter colours.

Izuku walks home holding the flowers and the box of chocolates close to his heart.

[loopmasu]

Why i love Goro Akechi (BIG SPOILERS)

i see alot hate towards my favorite pancake boi and as he did attempt murdering the MC and his whole redemption was forced and a little bit rushed, but Akechi is a great character and this is why i personally love him.

what people have to understand about his backstory is that ITS VERY SAD He lost the one person that was suppose to love him unconditionally at a very early age living at least ten years of his life without a mother.

Its hard to talk about but as someone who's grown up with a suicidal and depressed mother that has actually attempted suicide i empathize with Akechi aloot, I've often thought how would my life would be without her, and i too like Akechi would one, blame myself for being a burden, and two, blame the world for driving my mother to suicide (in my case it would be bad boyfriends, idle family members that have stood by and let her suffer and corporations that have fired her even though shes an excellent worker. Unlike Akechi, i have a pretty positive relationship with my father.) fortunately my mother has decided to live on but if i lost her there would be absolutely no one to help me. (either than my father who i barley know but still have a good relationship with) there would be no friends that would take me in and let them live with them, my family members would probably give me the same treatment they gave my mother when she was suffering and ignore me (much like how Futaba's siblings treat her once her mother allegedly committed suicide, if it wasn't for Sojiro AKA BEST-DAD, best girl would live a horrible life with her uncle and eventually succumb to her sadness)

I've thought extensively of how my life would turn out if my mother ever lost to depression and i thank god she hasn't. Unfortunately for my fav pancake boi, this was not the case. His mother gave in to the depression and took her own life leaving Goro as a child on his very own (Akechi's case being much worse than mine since i don't really know any other family members of his either than Shido... and yea....Shido definitely inst father of the year) Goro had to live his whole life By himself, no came to his rescue and no friends were there to support him and reach out to the truth. the suicide of his mother has had a huge impact on his mental well being (much like it did for Futaba), if the one person who was suppose to always be there for you and help you grow just left, and by there own hands, it would cause your mental state to skew as well.

Now since Akechi has lived his whole life depending on no one but himself because there has been no one there for him, its perfectly understandable for him to be cynical of others and unwilling to make connections, especially with joker, who has everything Akechi's ever wanted and more. i say unwilling because while Akechi would love nothing more than to be BFFS with joker and the rest of the thieves, this would mean acknowledging the fact that he has been living in an unsightly manner. i believe Akechi's biggest conflict is with himself, as he wants nothing more than to avenge his mother and goes to the ends of the earth to do so even becoming his father's assassin to secure a way into his life, but he also wants the love and recognition hes never gotten from having friends or loving family members, these are two things Akechi cant have in his perspective so he has to hide one side to get the other and vice versa (i guess that's why he has Robin Hood representing his need for recognition and Loki to represent his need for vengeance by any means). He has to hide the fact he is a killer and has done awful things to accomplish his objective in order to gain recognition from others without being seen as mad and he has to hide the fact he wants recognition and love from others to justify his means for vengeance. BUT a big yellow cup gives this broken mind a means to have both of his dreams by giving him access to the metaverse AND a persona. with this Akechi's will to gain both of his objectives is fortified and there is no going back, he pledges himself to revenge while gaining respect all own his own, No morgana to help guide and tutor him, no teamates to empathize with and form bonds with, just a a shithead father who you want personally thrust into a living hell, while also being seen as useful by said shithead.

What i believe began to make Akechi go mad was his jealousy/ friendship with joker. Joker has Friends there for him when he needs them, alive parents that may have sent him away but are still gonna take him back come march, a great positive male role model that is best-dad, and is still a rebel that gets revenge on his enemies in his own way ( a much more efficient way). Joker has all these things despite the bad reputation he has and as we've seen this infuriates Akechi who has believed he only needs himself for over ten years now. while Akechi's relationship with Akira grows he becomes more and more close and willing to open up, but this is all while knowing that Akira poses a threat to his power trip and delusional mindstate. accepting Jokers friendship and joining the phantom thieves meant acknowledging his way of life as wrong, so yes while he was growing closer to Joker he also had to harbor animosity towards him as well ( this may explain his smile as he murders his only friend who he perceives as his enemy at the moment because to think otherwise would mean to acknowledging he is in fact wrong, so he forces himself to believe his actions are just)

The failed assassination of Joker was not only a hindrance to his ultimate goal of revenge but meant once again having to question his own way of life after believing he had just validated it by defeating someone he secretly wanted to be friends with. by the point of the shido palace THERE IS TRULY NO GOING BACK FOR GORO the election is about to take place and shido is on his way to victory, any thing in his way was perceived gone, sure it caused him a lot of pain to get there but his master plan is days from fruition, THEN HE FIGURES IT OUT , joker isnt dead and their now attempting to accomplish something goro has literally been killing people to do.THIS is why akechi begins to lose it in the ship, because Joker literally has found a way to do everything he hasn't been able to but simply can not accept it, which is why he gets edgy AF.

So you fight it out with Akechi and he finally begins to accept you, your friendship, and your way of life, he then gives his own life (being suicidal and having depression is hereditary so its probably not the first time akechis thought of ending his own life) and your dreams become one (tears). in the end i guess this or serving time in prison would have been the only things left for Akechi ( which i would have liked to see, one thing i can never forgive Akechi for is killing wakaba, if you hate the world because it killed your mother why would you literally do the exact same thing to Futaba? cmon Goro) BUUUUT i would've really loved if Akechi was the main villain and continued rejecting the phantom thieves (kinda like part 7 DIO, part 7 DIO also has this sad backstory but he remains a villain all the way through doing anything in his power to win the steel ball run race to find his father that abandoned him and his mother) idk he felt like a more complex villain than Shido. He was also a wild card persona user that was a rival to Akira... yea, so much wasted potential. ALSO IM CALLING IT NOW AKECHI TRICKED THE PHANTOM THIEVES/ THE WORLD AND ISNT REALLY DEAD, HE IS A TRICKSTER AS WELL.

anyway these are the reasons i absolutely love Goro as character despite his clear flaws, i think he is one of the most complex phantom thieves and will always be my favorite pancake thanks for reading this long rant of mine.

[yugirimistwalker]

gray fly is pretty forgettable and unremarkable as an actual character but honestly his stand is pretty cool and threatening. theres really not much to say about him outside of his stand though so 3/10

again impostor captain tennille has like, no real personality, but his stand is also less remarkable than tower of gray so there’s even less to talk about here. it’s a shame because an aquatic stand has a lot of potential but it feels wasted especially considering how bullshit the actual fight is. 2/10

monky/10

really at this point none of the villains are remarkable (with the exception of kakyoin and polnareff and that’s because they become supporting characters) and the same goes for devo the cursed, but fortunately his stand DOES have its own personality, which is a shithead cursed doll who is also uncomfortably horny apparently. far from the best villain but i’d say this is the point where the fights start getting more interesting (for sdc at least). 6/10

rubber soul is a smug and extremely punchable dickhead but unfortunately there’s a later villain that pulls this off so much better. really he only serves to demonstrate the rule where it doesn’t matter how strong the stand is as long as you can defeat the user. that being said, his creepy kakyoin impression is very fun to watch so he gets bumped up to a 6/10

j. geil is the first unforgivably absolutely detestable villain, and it’s fitting that he’s a sneaky conniving coward asshole. he’s incredibly unlikeable but as well as that he’s a very threatening villain with one of the most satisfying demises in the series. fence/10

hol horse is an absolute fucking joy to watch whenever he appears. yes his stand is pretty dumb, but he’s simultaneously a total coward dumbass and a determined mercenary at the same time which doesn’t make him feel inconsistent but rather makes both aspects shine all the brighter when they come into light, but most importantly of all, he fucking respects women. 10/10 and the fact that he did not appear even more is one of the biggest crimes of stardust crusaders.

i didnt even know nena had a name but for reference this is the user of empress. i gotta say empress is pretty fun to watch, but this arc is really more about joseph. i’d say a 5/10 because she really gets less enjoyable once she gets arms and stops being a little shithead in favor of just punching joseph

zz is boring as hell and so is his stand. 1/10

enya is an extremely good creepy grandma and i dont like how it makes no fucking sense how she was defeated. qtaro/10

steely dan is the character i was talking about when i mentioned how someone pulls off rubber souls personality much better. his stand is way more interesting because it means he can be a smug asshole without jotaro coming up with witty retorts, and then when jotaro finally gets the opportunity to pay him back it’s no coincidence that it’s one of the most memorable beatdowns in the whole series. 8/10

be honest do any of you actually remember who arabia fats is? im not even going to rate this guy he’s literally 100% filler

mannish boy is a creepy baby with a fittingly creepy stand. as a character he’s... a baby, he doesn’t really do all that much, but as death thirteen he’s joyfully disconcerting and loves to fuck with people even if theres literally no reason to do so. 9/10

cameo is another villain i really cant say anything about. i mean... his stand is kinda conniving but not that interesting to watch and it’s really part of yet ANOTHER arc that only serves as exposition rather than to show an interesting fight. 1/10

midler is... ANOTHER villain without any real personality, jesus, i forgot how boring most of the sdc villains are when i decided to do this. vore/10

n’doul is the first of the 9 glory gods, and he’s a damn good introduction to them as a set of much more competent and threatening stand users. he’s smart, dedicated to his master, and has a REALLY fucking powerful and honestly scary stand. 9/10.

oingo is absolutely fucking hilarious and watching him try desperately to stay collected when dealing with polnareff and josephs bullshit is maybe the best fucking part of part 3. 10/10.

boingo is kinda boring in the sense that he only really serves to make oingo and hol horse funnier to watch, but he’s still a lovely character regardless. i’m giving him 8/10 just because oingo and hol horse are already fantastic on his own and i have NO idea why dio hired him considering how fucking useless his stand seems to be most of the time.

anubis should have a physical form outside of his stand so i can yiff him.

oh uhhh... he’s a cool cursed sword 7/10 now dont FUCKING judge me

mariah is, unfortunately, the start of by far the lowest point in stardust crusaders. as a character she’s similar to n’doul - dedicated and competent and cool - but unfortunately the arc she appears in is all about funny haha gay haha titty boob jokes. i’d love to give her above a 5/10 but the arc she appears in is so bad that i can’t. that being said, she’s a damn sight better than the next villain, because...

alessi is, hands down, the worst fucking character in jojo. j. geil at least had the decency to have a stand that didn’t reflect how fucking creepy he was, and also had the decency to die at the end, but the alessi arc is constantly uncomfortable to watch and nowhere near as satisfying as the j. geil arc. if they’d taken the opportunity to bring back young joseph like they should’ve done it could’ve been a fun arc to watch but as it stands this is not just the worst character in sdc but possibly the worst character in the series as a whole. 0/10.

thankfully daniel j. d’arby pretty much saves the part at this point by suddenly giving us one of the best arcs of all time. sure, as a character he’s far from the most interesting, but he’s still extremely entertaining to watch no matter whether he’s being smooth and snarky or in the process of ageing 20 years within 12 seconds. 9/10

pet shop is a cute widdle birb with a funny hat but really he’s not all that interesting outside of being a bird. 5/10

telence d. d’arby is the most realistic villain of sdc in that they’re an evil gamer. they’re similar to their brother, but the arc doesn’t really achieve the same tension so he can’t quite compare. 7/10

there is LITERALLY nothing to say about kenny g so i wont, but for reference he’s the guy who controls tenore sax, which is the stand that made dio’s mansion kinda fucked up. i don’t blame anyone for not remembering him

vanilla ice is the first truly terrifying villain we see in sdc. as bullshit as avdol’s death was, you really can’t deny that when a villain’s first action is to chop off his own head and his second action is to kill off a major supporting character with zero warning you’re dealing with the first and only sdc villain who has never fucked around a day in his goddamn life. 8/10 for sheer shock value.

dio is dio. what can i fucking say, he’s fucking dio. he’s smug, he’s strong, he’s smart, he’s a bastard shithead, and he will stop at nothing to fuck with people. i simply cannot get over the fact that he must’ve stopped time, walked down, picked up polnareff, put him down 2 steps, walked back up to the top of the stairs, got into the exact same pose, and then restarted time SOLELY to mess with him. i have no idea why he didn’t just kill him but i fucking love him for it. 10/10.