#how to control on weight
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You deadlift? What's your PB?
My current max is 250 pounds! Gotta catch up to Tony, he's at 300 now 😤
Also someone else asked about how deadlifting doesn't kill my back, and the answer is that weightlifting with proper form is good for back pain >:]
Strengthening your stabilizer muscles is so good for your bones and posture! It doesn't mean accidents don't happen, as we will all decay in time, but it definitely helps me draw all day and night without crumbling into dust 👌
#liftposting on main#my routine is roughly 20 min of cardio then 30-40 min of freeweights#focusing on a different muscle group each time#this is how i have zero wrist problems#you can also do farmer's walks where you hold a weight in one hand and walk around#which is less potentially dangerous than deadlifting and so good for your forearms!!#anyway my whole perception of working out shifted as soon as i started seeing it as maintenance vs something designed around losing weight#i may not be able to control whether i get sick or have a major injury that stops my body from being able to do what i want it to do#but i can give myself slightly better chances of being able to climb stairs into my old age!#art tips
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quick-ish thing just to keep myself sharp
#good god i have no idea how to weight paint wings. eek#wishdragonloop au#isat#loop#3d#i say quick ish this took a few days but only bc of retopo and wrist pain. also im learning how to make controllers kind of!#this is. not incredibly rigged but in my defense i havent rigged an organic of any complexity in a minute. been all robots forever lol
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The unthinkable happened right when i was going to join in wip Wednesday unprompted @twodiamondhoes tagged me in it
I was going to do something a little more recent but the day snuck up on me so have a really old snippet from a fic i may or may not finish that i wrote in a haze of finals stress while listening to “Sleeping in the Kitchen” by Madilyn Mei on loop

Jimmy Solidarity my beloved
Its a little out of my usual style because music possesses me in a way thats a little concerning sometimes but i had fun with it!
Tagging @gladumfdoodles who i know always has a snippet locked and loaded, @raffi-cat who should share their writing more in my humble opinion, @sincerely-nines because my favorite moot you should write fanfic… if you want…
and my friend ani whose tumblr @ is not working rn so im just going to send this to them but they should share their writing on tumblr!!! Its so fun!!
(No pressure to anyone, tis supposed to be for fun :D)
#i need you to know ive been jumping up and down and spinning in circles ever since i noticed the tag#first time posting writing on tumblr after over a year of writing fic how we feeling#I personally am terrified#my brain keeps going WHAT IF YOU GOT TOO SILLY WITH THE SNIPPET WHAT IF THEY HATE IT#when i know logically no one will hate it#also its funny how kit was like ive heard about your wips i wanna know more :D#and then i drop another completely unrelated never before seen wip on everyone#sorry gang#i have too many wips#if anyone wants to know about anything specific. yknow. you can ask me. i encourage asks. very much. talk to me please.#i love yapping i just dont get an excuse to often#now about the snippet itself#i feel like people forget how jimmy survived for a while in last life while only getting rolled two lives#and not making alliances solely based on how many lives he could get out of it (COUGH COUGH. SCOTT.)#and then how he was immediately put to yellow life in double life#he just starts out the race two seasons in a row getting shot in the foot by the universe for reasons wholly out of his control#and then the emotional weight that could come with that#anyways i think about that a lot#fic:sleeping in the kitchen#jimmy solidarity#team rancher#solidaritek#cause thats what the fic is. what else were you expecting from me.#ash writes#trafficblr#last life#double life#wip wednesday#also sorry to my other moots nines hs been my fan since all the way back when i was posting stupid doodles a year ago#theyre always going to be my favorite
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I could definitely see Till getting angry at Ivan for what happened during Round 6 and choking him as some sort of payback.
Only for Till to be horrified by the realization that Ivan would just let him do it…
#till: ‘‘i’m so angry i want to kill you’’#ivan: ‘‘that’s fine with me as long as it’s you’’#till: wtf???#the power dynamic would be fascinating to see#till has had power/control over very little in his life#what would he think after learning how much influence he has over ivan? how would he act?#would he be disgusted (because he’d be no better than the alien owners)?#would he be honored (that someone cares and trusts him that much)?#would he be scared (a life is such a heavy responsibility)?#at the same time ivan is not without his own power#he knows till better than anyone#he knows how to push his buttons and get under his skin and get the reactions he wants#he knows that till is emotional and that the weight of ivan’s feelings might crush him if he confesses#oughhgh#i’ve once again failed to be normal about these two#ivan is still alive btw#this is not up for debate#alien stage#alnst#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#alien stage till#alnst till#alien stage round 6#alnst round 6#alien stage ivantill#alnst ivantill#ivantill#ivanttakethis shut up about ivan challenge: impossible#ivanttakethis talks too much
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deku really HAS been repressing his feelings holy shit
#the jerk of his arm when monoma insulted bkg. the nervous expression when banjo pointed out he'd lost control of his heart#how this—the pattern of avoidance->explosion happens REPEATEDLY#how even now deku is struggling under the weight of feelinfs he can't face/accept yet#like. bkg has already faced his feelings#(and how ironic is that that the consensus was that he would be the last out of the two?)#i don't think bkdk can happen until deku gets his own italicized oh moment#WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHAT THAT'S GONNA BE#bkdk#bnha#bnha spoilers
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tbh i want to post hella Miku but I dont have brain power rn, skiing is mentally and physically exhausting💀
#lot of of brain power focused on remembering how im suppose to position my body and distribute my weight#towards the end of today I really felt like I was in control me and my brother were going down some more difficult slopes#and just flying and hitting hard turns#its exhilirating#ik it seems like a rich person thing to do but it was actually pretty cheap
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No I don’t think so. Also how did you manage to miss the point of both those movies so badly
#1. jennifer was abducted and tortured by that evil band#she could feel herself losing her humanity and had no control over what she became#the scene when she’s putting on makeup in the mirror even though she no longer resembles the person she used to be? devastating#2. Priscilla was a child groomed by said rockstar#you really saw everything that happened to her and thought ‘wow I want that for myself’?#3. if you got a taste of the modeling industry. how those women are treated. and how they live. you probably wouldn’t#imagine your whole livelihood being defined by your looks. chances are you will be treated like expired goods#if you gain a little weight or after a certain age. and then what will you do?
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mann im going to get my blood reports tomorrow and im lwk scared
#mostly it's fine but i looked up this medicine the doc prescribrd me and she said it's for weight loss#but i looked it up and everywhere it said it's for type 2 diabetes#to control blood sugar levels when it's so wildly out of control that nothing is fixing it#why would she give me that??? i mean im obviously gonna ask but tab tak ki anxiety bhai#i have barely processed the fact that pcod is a chronic illness which means im going to have it forever im mostly avoiding thinking about#it cause it feels too big and unbearable#diabetes would be fucking wild man im 21 years old#i am doing so terrible in not turning out to be like my dad lol i want to cry#i just hate hate hate this so much#like i was trying really fucking hard but depression wasn't getting fixed and i kept eating sleeping being in bed all day#like how can one illness cause another be frr man give me a break 😭#and i cannot even officially say depression i just sorta googled thr symptoms and relate to them most days but not everyday#so like#what is all this for#ugh goodnight i hope i wake up and it's all alright#i don't want to be a calorie counting sweet avoiding freak i love chocolate
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girl i had huge crush on in school who was a very good friend to me she's so smart and wonderful and kind just told me she's proud of me for inquiring about a breast reduction i literally started crying what the absolute fuck I'm so gay and so deprived of love in my daily life what the fuck kck .?? HELLO??
#yknow when your whole body freezes bc youre struck with the realization people SEE you and CARE about you#my fightflightFREEZE kicked in so hard all i could do was cry and pretend to act chill texting back sowkwowkwl#at one point i thought abt going through gender affirming means for a reduction (vs plastic surgery) but THATS ILLEGAL NOW <33333#😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#THIS IS WHERE I VENT NOW OK PLEASE BLOCK THE NOT TS TAG LMFAO#not ts#me @ myself: girl this is not the time or place#also me: IAOAKQKW 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🫨🫨🫨😭😭😭‼️‼️😭😭🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🫨🫨⁉️⁉️#like I'm proud of myself too :)#i wish I'd done it sooner like everyone told me to. like this has been a reality for me since i was 12 or 13#when ppl talk about me they always mention my boobs. family friends teachers peers#at a funeral for a loved one when im 13 and an elderly relative brings up breast reduction surgery#but i was so scared (i have a surgery phobia and also extreme control issues when it comes to my body/safety) that i put it off#and now i am forced to be stagnant or else i cripple myself. which is a life i dont want to live#i dont want to lie in the floor unable to move bc my sciatic nerve is crushed btwn vertebrae.#crying hysterically bc i think ive paralyzed myself and there's no one to help me#being unable to dance or play volleyball or lift weights again.#i want to run :( for the first time since i was 8 i want to be able to run..#and that's just medical stuff. chronic pain stuff#that's not delving into gender identity or how this has destroyed my mental health in 7 billion ways since puberty#turning 25 this is the 1st time i feel like an adult and a Person. & i realize i need to accommodate myself & my own happiness#if i want to enjoy the life i have.#like i cant keep procrastinating my life#for a long time i've been like “my life just feels like procrastinating suicide” & that's very true. & i dont want to live that way anymore.#it's time i do things for myself. because i'm the only one who can. i can't live for other ppl anymore. it's destroying me.#this went off the rails sorry#i just wanted to make a quirky post abt the gay experience but it's much deeper than that and#i wont un-deep my thoughts and feelings for an internet post :) i am real & messy & multifaceted and#i seek for others to See me :)
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BELT UNDONE SO SOMEONE’S BELLY CAN HANG OUT FREE AND LOOSE AND COMFORTABLE. BELT UNDONE SO THEIR PANTS ARE BARELY HANGING ONTO THEIR HIP. BELT UNDONE SO THEIR SHIRT’S UNTUCKED OR UNBUTTONED AND YOU CAN SEE THEIR HAPPY TRAIL. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BA-
#i love fat i love when clothes emphasize how hot it is to be fat#especially articles of clothing we usually consider as things we use to ‘control’ our appearances and de-emphasize people’s weights#NO!!!! Your belt is NOT there to pin your belly in to make yoir pants fit!!!! IT IS THERE TO BE USELESS AND HANG LOOSE IN THE STRAPS!!!!!!#IT IS THERE TO SHOW OFF THAT YOU’RE OUTGROWING IT!!!!!!!!!!!#okay ill be quiet now. good night tristate area
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Laying in bed sort of teaching myself to feel food i just ate digesting in my stomach and honestly? I swear I feel it and it's the coolest thing
I love my anatomy and cool strong acid and fancy musclework!
Anyone else feel it too?
#here i am sounding like a damn mad scientist or surgeon#my brain cant trick me i can feel the convulsions and the weight of the food and all the bubbles#i am taking in nutrients and breaking stuff down while keeping the important parts#also interested in: how my brain controls my body and how i can move my body heat to cold places thru touching#just talking
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why is this giving i think i need to put you down vibes
#please tell me i’m just reading too into it#cause this was like when orym and fearne were discussing plan b for imogen in case she lost the plot#but now laudna is losing the plot#and imogen is realizing it#because delilah is holding more weight in laudna’s head than the rest of the hells#so at some point delilah is going to have control#and they’re going to have to take laudna out#but i’m hoping i’m wrong#and it doesn’t come to that#but with how orym reacted#he is ready#he has said he has been ready to do it#critical role#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#ok#i think i did read too much into it#it could just be concern of imogen possibly losing laudna to delilah#but the outcome would still be having to put her down#FUUUCK
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this season of 911 lone star was brought to you by your therapist
#owen strand#and the horse therapy#tk strand#carlos reyes#tarlos#marriage counseling#talking like adults about the problems#paul strickland#acknowledging your trauma#and how it impacts your life#taking control#and letting others help you#marjan marwani#and acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses#and working to improve yourself#911 lone star#now if someone put owen under a weighted blanket#please#idk if therapy is enough for the shit he been through#but you gotta start somewhere#can’t believe i almost forgot about my baby#nancy gillian#more nancy please#but also#allowing yourself to lean on others during a tough situation#and#tommy vega#i’m scared#i hope she’s okay i need her to be okay
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I feel like I am regaining.
I do not like this feeling.
And every time I try to straighten up, it makes the eating impulses worse.
And the shopping impulses.
Somehow things are getting home that shouldn't.
Sam's club bags of Cantina chips. Popcorn.
I am pretty irritated with myself.
I have had a couple months of injuries... but it seems like anytime I need to take ibuprofen, I gain 10 freaking pounds almost overnight.
What says to me... water weight?
But then it doesn't go away! Wtf!!
Also.... the impulse to eat whenever someone says I look good? Wtf?!
Like my brain says, oh ok, we are good now.
🧠😩👀
#healthy lifestyle#getting healthy#losing weight#healthy eating#fitblr#healthy habits#operation lose this gut#weight loss#operationlosethisgut#weight loss journey#the struggle#the struggle is real#regain#weight control#weight#lose weight#lose weight fast#fitfam#stop overeating#just stop#overeating#diet help#help needed#weight loss help#how do i tag this#mental#mental strength#weight loss motivation#motivation#run motivation
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youtube
Fandom: Alias Song: Not Strong Enough by boygenuis Summary: Examining Sloane’s role in the lives of Alias women. Content warnings: Character death, violence, torture, needles, flashing lights
#aliasedit#alias#sydney bristow#nadia santos#allison doren#emily sloane#irina derevko#arvin sloane#userthing#fanvid#myedit#another video that branched out from an unfinished big project#so while working on my video about alias women i realized that i have enough material to make an alias women + sloane video. so i did!#the second half of it is supposed to seen as the opposite of the first half. it's sloane who wishes he were special but isn't.#he wishes he were rambaldi's chosen one and he wishes he could get visions directly from rambaldi the way nadia can.#and he wishes he were immortal (but allison cheated death first).#and he wishes rambaldi knew of him the way rambaldi knew of irina - irina's name spelled out in multiple rambaldi's messages.#he wants to be special but he isn't. and when you spend your entire life trying to become someone you're not;#trying to become special and trying to possess very special people. that has to come from a place of a deep self hatred.#(i used to feel sorry for you. could you sense it? i pitied you - that you needed to fill the void in your life.)#that said. making allison immortal back in season three could have changed the game.#making nadia learn how to control the powers rambaldi gifted her with and use them to help others could have changed the game.#giving irina's obsession with rambaldi an actual narrative weight; explaining why/how it all started for her could have changed the game.#instead all of it went to sloane. it's sloane who's at the center of all of these stories.
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i am tempted to eat something small more but the mere thought is giving me anxiety because everything feels like too much (reason no.483922 why i gotta stop with the counts fr)
#— me talking#ed recovery#pro recovery#ana recovery#i am#just hungry but i've been hungry all day but i'm scared#i gotta see how today goes (by checking the weight tomorrow) and see if this is stil managable#(read: in control)#or if i gotta modify stuff again
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