#how to drag yourself out of art block? idk. this

[snakesinsocks2005]

More of this thing

[hello-yue-here]

thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!

not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao

enjoy some lil snippets hehe

from heart don't stand a chance:

"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.

It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.

As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."

this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.

from i love you (and that's all i really know):

"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."

"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.

She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.

"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.

"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"

this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.

from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):

"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."

hehe i love mailee.

from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):

"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.

But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.

“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”

“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”

“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”

“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”

“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."

i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.

from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):

"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”

“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.

“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.

“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”

“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."

homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.

from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:

"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.

Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.

“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”

I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."

i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.

from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:

"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice

“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-

“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.

Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.

“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"

nonbinary toph anyone?

from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:

"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.

“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.

“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.

Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."

zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.

i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far

but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!

I hope you liked them!

anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)

[jurisffiction]

Your dta looks AMAZING. Was it the first timr you did something like that? It looks amazing and if you say that it is im bullying you for being the best.

i could make a joke here i guess but im all underslept and buzzy with love for life and humanity so im just gonna earnestly give you a rundown on my life

i guess this isn't even my first time doing DTA book covers, I did these back in February

previously "designed" the cover of a children's book my brother's friends self-published but that was just placing text over a cartoon drawing of a bee someone drew. real career #moment

I don't think I've ever... "taken" a "design" class. (but DID ask for photoshop cs2 for my 12th birthday.) and i used to make a lot of Gifs and Graphics on here age 15 or so (one of jensen ackles got 1000 notes, baby!) etc so honestly. I Learnt at Tumblr University

but I HAVE previously "worked" "in" "design" in the way that social media officers get dragged into print design when no one else in the fucking office knows how to use the strict brand guideline templates to save their lives

so I mean. my point is it's very unfair to look at this and think like, idk. that I taught myself All That just for this project. I had a long head-start and other skills already! but on the flipside it's not. Insurmountable Prior Expertise. just practice! messing about!

what IS really, really, really new territory for me with these is how much I....made myself? I mean, everything's a gradated spectrum, all art is plagiarism design triply so, but anything I'd done before had been adding text over images or working within literal drag-drop style brand templates with specific fonts/colours, (OR: amv editing! which is a similar form of....editing together other things, without addition, necessarily) I really am not a creative person in terms of Sparks of Ideas, in drawing yourself or writing yourself, I'm All Editing, Baby!, and so.....starting just at thinking about the Thing I was working with, what people love about it and what people should have as a first impression of it, and taking all of that and...sounds stupid but i was like SCARED!!!! to MAKE/add things in that photoshop file BY MYSELF. it was still levels of copying eg soni's Le Guin mock-up is still visible in the end product, and the back covers are a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of an 80s sociology textbook where I saw a simple black stroke frame and thought "oh!". and there's stock textures for the creases and the plastic tape, and I didn't design the font myself — all those details, etc. The usual. But having something 60+ layers deep from me making little colour blocks or erasing or adding edited imagery outside a template or background stock to work off made me feel like I was out adrift in the open water without anything tying me back to land except The Text Itself and my love of it and how I saw it. whack!!!!!!! to create!

many, many people helped me with every step of the way. just "this is 1.11 leading this is 1.15 which looks less terrible" over and over and over again. i love them a lot for that. everybody needs that.

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[meandmyechoes]

The more I think about Dark Disciple, the more I find something odd.

[28th March 17:46]

I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quintress, but I also just, can’t?

I mean, yes. It’s very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. But I also, don’t really see it in that ’omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them’ sense?

I am very involved in the pairing, but also don’t really, actively ‘ship’ it — like the way it was an open book with Rhayme or Latts Razzi (since it’s the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quintress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask how much it is tainted with my personal view on relationships.

I know the plot leaves little room for “the future” and fed us well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.

Winding up, I don’t think their relationship is "weak", but it’s very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can’t really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that’s it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.

It’s just… I don’t really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it’s much more a physical attraction thing that I don’t really have personal experience with.

I don’t know if quintress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I’m quite disappointed Ventress wasn’t doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it’s deliciously written, there’s not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.

[3rd April, 01:39]

I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.

It’s a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she’s more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she’s gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. and surprise! Our “assassination” plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…

I’ve read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the conventional to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the “Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos”. Now, I can’t dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there’s no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic varied person to person from the above two factors, which are very different starting points.

I kept Katie Lucas’s foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there’s always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that’s a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.

[10th April, 10:30]

Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.

To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quintress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obi-Satine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leave him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.

Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream.

~~~

Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]

It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.

On the wider reflection about attachment and the Jedi Order, I still have to do more reading on it from other sources to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”

Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. How would I define it?

Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?

Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quintress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.

I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful (I guess) thing is they chose each other.

The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.

I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes the contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?

I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. And I've been a canon apologist since forever. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.

[26th April 16:00]

I must address that I got spoiled of the ending and the first and second half of the book probably went through some big changes.

If I cried for this book, it’s score would be even higher. And I’ve been so obsessed with discussing the relationship, without shedding light on the characterization, which is definitely an unfortunate side effect. Then it occurs that quite possibly the second half (26-42) deviated even further from the script than the first? It doesn’t have concept art or blocking, plus possibly (heavily) edited to omit correlation to other arcs. My major complaint for the second half is Ventress doesn’t do much and we know NOTHING about Vos, even though he is given screen time in the book. my, I just wish Ventress punch him harder and drag his idiotic mess back to the light sooner.

And to criticism about it being their ‘toxic’ relationship being portrayed as ‘true love’, well, it really depends on how thoughtful the reader is, right? I think if the reader is able to notice all these red flags and gave their own interpretation of the relationship and its outcome, it’d’ve been an educating experience. There’s what for the reader and what for the characters. They don’t know this ‘love’ is destroying them, and what kind of message is it sending? What ‘love’ depicted in the book is true then? I have my answers, and I hope every reader comes to their own as well.

[hws-denmark]

Very off-brand but literally just venting and vitriol under the cut about recent-ish hetalia discourse, if you don't wanna see it then don't read it! Cheers.

Alright idk what the fuck happened to fandom spaces over the past 5 years but this shit is super toxic now. It's like the internet has over-corrected from "it's the wild west baybeeeee, ship wars and death threats and downright awful behavior galore" to "have you consumed anything problematic or made a mistake anytime in the past 30 years??? Literally go fucking die you deserve to kys!!". Both are shit. But in my experience, one is a fuckton easier to avoid. Hetalia is a problematic show. This is a fact. There's an anti-semetic joke in the dub. There's whitewashing in the earlier anime seasons. Hima's characterisation of South Korea is horrific. France's earliest characterisations are done real dirty with the amount of sexual assault present. You could write essays about this shit, but honestly it's all been said in better ways before so I don't particularly care to. But quite frankly the amount of harassment from sad trolls and bullies online is nuts over this shit. Five fucking months and it's unavoidable- "Your a nazi! Facist, japanese imperialist anti-semite!!" NEWS FLASH- YOUR KEYBOARD WARRIOR CRAP ISN'T DOING JACK SHIT! YOU AREN'T PREVENTING A-NY-THING, YOU AREN'T HELPING A-NY-ONE! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND CALL OUT THE HATE I GUARANTEE WILL BE HAPPENING IN REAL DANG LIFE IN YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY IF YOU ACTUALLY WANNA EDUCATE AND MAKE A POSITIVE CHANGE. There's a world of difference between calling out shitty fandom behavior and whatever the fuck this is. It's madness that I have to point out how saying that people talking about cartoon characters from a five minute OVA even holds a single CANDLE to the worldwide rise in nationalist sentiment and anti-semetic conspiracy theory, bourne from a mass refusal to acknowledge history, is so severely minimising. I take it that's okay though because you can wank yourself off on your nice little high horse without actually doing anything to combat hate or improve the world in any way though? The show has so many faults and for multitudes of good reasons you might never want to see it ever again. So block it. Don't interact with it. Blacklist the tag. But it is downright RUDE to be coming INTO the tag and talking shit. That doesn't tell me you're earnestly trying to avoid the series- it tells me you're really really trying to start fights. Bc I have been using the block button pretty liberally recently, and for every normal user venting I see, there's always an equal amount of people who, ironically, seem to dedicate their blog to bigotry against others and cyber-harassment. I've seen anti-hetalia blogs that have been sexist, racist, panphobic and, maybe most hypocritically, one that was bizarrely insensitive to the connotations of a past political regime. And yet minors look to these same people and parrot what they say for clout. In my experience, in a whole lot of anti-hetalia circles, there's a severe case of "mocking because I think it's cringe, but disguising it as concern for others to not look like a straight-up dickhead and have the moral high ground". Is it seeping from twitter? Bc I see that shit there all the time even in non-fandom spaces, the black/white, we're angels/they're devils thinking that real life and sane adults just do not fucking operate on. What I do know is, in the midst of a difficult pandemic, the one announcement in months that was happy and exciting for me left me feeling like dogshit by the end of the day. The weekly episodes that I should be excited for are just making me dread what I'm gonna see online. The nordic five are kinda like comfort characters for me, since I grew up in an emotionally abusive household and so I treated them like the family I never had. And yet, when I wanna go online and look at headcanons and read cool au fanfics, I always seem to stumble upon the implication that doing this is somehow severely hurting someone and that I'm a terrible monster. Logically, I know this is a load of shit. And yet I've noticed I've been putting myself down and looking at more and more self-harm content again recently bc

guilt-tripping with that much weight seeps into your brain like a nasty case of sepsis. Even the more casual "haha hetalia not another pandemic/more brainrot/will punch you on sight" lark starts to fucking drag when it's just SO widespread. Might just queue nice art, drop the occasional fanfic and otherwise stop interacting with the fandom tbqh. This bullshit is not healthy and some of the people on this hellsite are genuine psychos.

[kissingnamjoon]

Mafia!Hoseok  [Arranged Marriage] Part 2 

Summary: However, Hoseok really should have trained Y/N on how to protect herself better, because everyone knew you weren’t supposed to do anything that blocked one of your senses while you were alone. You had to see, hear, smell, and feel whatever was going on around you. Being alone  and not aware of anything of those things was making yourself a target.  And that’s what Y/N was tonight. A target.

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Words: Ayeee 2,082

Genre: A lil angst, A lil fluff, A lil mafia stuff  

Warnings: Violence, cursing, death, someone getting drugged, IDK 

A/N: I’m in love w/ my own series.  Also, sorry Got7 fans. Jackson’s name just popped into my head jadgsdfkdk okok ok enjoy bby’s!!!!!

She thought things would be different after that night. Her wedding night. They should have been, right? She just got married, for heaven’s sake. She should have been enjoying the honeymoon stage that all couples go through.

 But she couldn’t help but feel disappointed in herself.

 Disappointed that she thought her marriage or Hoseok was going to be different. Hoseok was involved in organized crime, what made her think that he knew how to act anything else but cold and emotionless? She thought maybe the words Hoseok said to her on their wedding night were just for show. They stayed together all through the night after that, but after all the guests had left they had went home in separate cars.

 To make her feel even more disappointed, Hoseok didn’t even want to sleep in the same room as her.

 She remembered when they got home that night, in separate cars. Hoseok had left and went into the house without acknowledging you. All your stuff was already here, but that didn’t make it feel like home.  She remembers walking inside and admiring the beauty of the house. It really was like a piece of art, marble staircase spiraling to the second floor of the house, with shiny rails and a grand chandelier hanging in the center of the ceiling. Sure, her family’s house was nice, but it was nothing compared to this. Everything down to the walls looked like they cost a million bucks.

 She  had lived like that for a couple weeks, in her own room, minding her  own business most of the time.  Most of Hoseok’ s men and their wives lived on the property, as there were a couple of guest’s houses scattered around. Since she was  married to Hoseok now, he deemed it to much of a threat for her to go back to her regular job where she could be considered an easy target, so she stayed behind and  worked more with Hoseok’ s team. Most of the wives weren’t allowed to go out on “missions” or “deals” as Hoseok referred to them, but they always helped them prepare.

 Currently, Hoseok and his men were getting ready to go out on a deal.

 “The shipment is coming in at 8 P.M sharp, so we need to leave soon. Jungkook, you’re going to guard the back entrance, and Yoongi, I need you to hack the system in the main office to erase any sign of the shipment coming in at the dock. Jimin, you’re coming with us, but you need to stay logged into the security cameras for the house. Jackson knows that our house will empty. I don’t think they’ll try anything, but you never know. ” Hoseok said, looking each and everyone of his men in the eye while he gave them directions.

 She wishes he looked her in the eye. She wished he gave her a soft kiss on the lips and promised to return home in one piece like his men did to their wives. She wishes she got to sleep in the same room as her husband. Hell, she wished he even talked to her.

 She knew deep down inside she couldn’t lie to herself and say she didn’t have feelings for Hoseok. And that really was such a weird thought for a married woman, but that was her life now. She didn’t even really know the person she was married too. Hoseok was extremely hard working, and you can tell he tried to protect his people at all costs. He cared about his empire, but he cared about his team even more. He was also precise and clean, never leaving a trace of a deal.  From Y/N’s perspective, Hoseok was an extremely intelligent and passionate man.

Just not towards her.

Hoseok was very cold towards her. If they were passing in the hallway, he would pretend he didn’t see her and keep walking, not saying a word.  He never kissed her goodbye or promised to return. He never asked how she was. He just left her to do her own thing, with Namjoon guarding her.

 She didn’t know it was because Hoseok didn’t know how to show his feelings.

 That he was secretly falling for her.  She was bright eyed and very diligent, always getting any task done that one of his men asked her to do. She also got along well with the other mafia wives, almost leading them and making sure everything was done sharply.

 Y/N sighed as she went back to her room. She had been feeling down but watching how Jungkook’s wife Youra kissed him and hugged him protectively in front of everyone, sparked a flame of jealousy inside of her.

 She wanted to be like that. She wanted to be in loved and loved by her husband. But she was nothing but a business deal when she thought about it. Why would she even think her and Hoseok could be like that?

 She decided she was going to relax a little bit and put some music on. She wanted to block out her feelings and have a stress-free night for once. She turned on her playlist and put her earphones in, not hearing a single sound around her. She decided to start drawing in her notebook, which she hasn’t even done since she was married. Y/N used to draw in her free time, drawing anything and everything that came to mind. None of her art was perfect, but she did it to relax, not to be perfect.

However, Hoseok really should have trained Y/N on how to protect herself better, because everyone knew you weren’t supposed to do anything that blocked one of your senses while you were alone. You had to see, hear, smell, and feel whatever was going on around you. Being alone  and not aware of anything of those things was making yourself a target.

 And that’s what Y/N was tonight.

 A target.

 You see, everyone else in the house was asleep and Y/N couldn’t hear, so she was obvious when someone broke in through the window and snuck into her room. She didn’t hear anyone behind her until it was too late and there was a needle stabbed into the side of her neck. She soon realized what was going on but felt something overtake her body. She couldn’t form a sentence or cry out for help, it was almost like she was paralyzed. She didn’t remember falling over onto her bedroom floor, or someone picking up her lifeless body and trying to sneak out of the window.

 Trying.

 You see, Jackson and his men were fast.

 But Hoseok was faster than all of them combined.

 Just as they were finishing up and getting ready to go back home, Jimin had alerted Hoseok that the security cameras had caught someone breaking in the house.

 “Boss, the security camera is showing movement on the east side of the house, outside of the cherry blossom tree.”

 East side of the house.

 Cherry blossom tree.

 Hoseok’ s eyes widened in shock as he realized your room was on the east side of the house, and the cherry blossom tree was outside of your room.

 “Fuck, I should have never let Namjoon come tonight!”

“Guys, we have to go back to the house right now, I don’t care if you leave the equipment.”

“Jimin, take the front entrance. Taehyung guard the east side entrance of the house. Jungkook you’ll guard the back, the rest of you just follow me.”

 Those were just a few of the sentences Hoseok let out before they all made a run for it, back to the house. Hoseok couldn’t believe that the first time he left you alone, was when you were attacked. It made sense though, he just didn’t expect for you to be a target so soon.

 Hoseok busted down the front door and the rest of his team were surprised. Namjoon and Jungkook just gave each other a knowing look. Namjoon could tell right away that Hoseok was falling in love with Y/N. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have followed her to the bathroom that night. And the fact that Hoseok assigned Namjoon, the best guard and fastest fighter out of all them, to protect Y/N and not Hoseok anymore, said everything.

 Namjoon had made it to her room just as one of Jackson’s men were dragging her out, immediately jumping him and kicking him to the ground. Hoseok’ s eyes flared up in anger and he was almost glad Y/N was  passed out to witness was he was about to do. You see, once you pissed off Hoseok there was no turning back. It was like a switch was turned on in him and he would become the most cold, brutal person you had ever met. Hoseok didn’t want you to see that side of him. He was already distant towards her, what would she think if she really saw him in action?

 Hoseok pulled out his knife pushed Namjoon off the man, immediately stabbing him in his jugular vein in just one attempt. Blood immediately spewed out of his neck and down his chest as he collapsed to the ground. It was almost like he was dead in an instant, but this wasn’t enough for Hoseok. He pulled out his handgun that was tucked underneath the waistband of his pants, shooting him multiple times before taking a picture of the dead body and sending it to Jackson.

‘Try touching Y/N again. I dare you.’ Was the accompanying texts Hoseok wrote out?

 Hoseok immediately assigned their personal doctor Seokjin to take care of Y/N, and make sure she was alright. Jin carefully removed the needle from her neck and inspected the liquid inside. He gave Y/N some medicine to counter-effect the drug that was in the needle. After Jin assured Hoseok and everybody else that she was okay, a look of surprise spread over everyone’s face when Hoseok ordered Jin to carry Y/N to his room.

 “You want me to take Y/N to YOUR room?”

Hoseok just looked at him dead in the eye, with a blank expression. “Not my room. Mine and Y/N’s room.”

“Taehyung………Yoongi, clean this pile of shit up.” Hoseok said as he walked past the dead body, kicking the dead man in his ribs and walking off to his room. As he walked down the hall and reach his door, he turned around and face his men. “Namjoon, stay on guard tonight. Outside our door. Sleep in the hallway if you have too, just made sure nothing is in harm’s way for Y/N.”

 Y/N’s head hurt, and her neck was incredibly sore. There was some sort of bandage on it, she was sure of. Her eyes started to flutter open, but she just wanted to go back to sleep.

 She shot out of bed in panic as she remembers a man dressed in all black and a needle going through her neck.  She had never seen this room before, where was she? Tears welled up in her eyes as she got out of bed and tried to stand, her legs wobbly.

 “Woah woah woah… you need to lay down.” Hoseok said as he came out of the shower, catching Y/N and laying her gently back down on the bed. Y/N looked up at him, admiring him. He looked so good right now. Wet hair hanging in front of his eyes, skin glowing and dressed in a simple pair of boxers and t-shirt. No fancy suit or shoes, no gun in his hand.

 “A rival gang member attacked you. I’m so sorry I left without making sure you were protected, it won’t happen again. We’re going to sleeping in the same room from now on. God, I was so stupid to let you have your own room, you’re my wife!!” Hoseok sat down on the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her and  pulling her close to his chest, an action that surprised her. “Namjoon is going to be your personal guard. He’s the best and quickest out of all the men. I know it’s annoying, but you can’t be left alone. I have too many enemies.” Y/N looked up at Hoseok with soft eyes, opening her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

 Hoseok shh’ed her and laid down in the huge, cozy bed with her, pulling blankets over their bodies. “Just rest, my queen. Go to sleep. You’re safe from now on, I promise.”

[hisband]

3 , 8 , 9, 38 !!

 meme: carling shares her honest opinions. || status: no longer accepting.

3. what current rp trend do you hate?

   i find that the rpc as a whole has gotten a lot more… idk, picky & shallow about which characters they interact with? of course, no one is obligated to interact with anyone and i would never guilt-trip anybody for not being interested in specific muses of mine or not following me back. but i have notice a shift over the last four years that i don’t particularly like.

   to give you guys a better idea what i’m talking about, let me give you an example. i roleplay captain spaulding from r.ob zombie’s firefly f.amily trilogy on my multi @mnstrsqd. he’s currently my longest running muse; i’ve been writing him publicly since spring 2015 and have moved him across multiple blogs. spaulding, despite being a chubby, ill-tempered, unhygienic guy in his late 50s / early 60s ( what can i say, i have a type ), was once my most popular character. not because he was pretty to look at or digestible, but because i was told he was interesting. people were drawn to his personality. for that reason, i wasn’t afraid to approach people on him or to follow first ( though i tried to be mindful because he Is a clown character and there are people on this website with coulrophobia, which i completely understand ). it wasn’t difficult to get interactions on him at all.

   nowadays? i’m fairly reluctant to approach people on characters that are considered unconventional, like my main horror muse belial or half the roster on my multi or even murdoc himself, because it seems like the rpc has devolved in the sense that the majority of writers on here ( based on my Own Personal Experience, at least ) are looking for characters that are easy. easy to get along with ic, easy to ship with, easy on the eyes. my buddy ruben made a much more detailed post on that here if you guys wanna check that out, but yeah. shallowness ( or perhaps an extreme reluctance to go outside one’s comfort zone ) is a rampant problem on tumb.lr these days, and it wasn’t like that at all when i first started out. people were a lot more willing to give others a chance no matter how fucking weird or obscure their character was, and i miss that a lot. had the community not been so accepting when i first joined, i probably wouldn’t have stuck around.

8. name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

   besides what i mentioned above? let’s see…

here’s a controversial one: people who feel the need to go around blocks and demand to know why you cut them off. like, dude, all you’re doing is proving to me that i made the right call by removing you from my social sphere. i find this behaviour incredibly entitled & invasive and i don’t like it one bit. i don’t like the idea that you owe people explanations as to why you left, especially if the person in question has been exhibiting abusive or triggering behaviour ( unknowingly or not ). just accept you’re no longer welcome in that person’s life and move on. the length of time you’ve known that person - or favours you’ve done for that person in the past - should not be used as bargaining tools to keep them around. you can tell someone why you’re ending a friendship or writing partnership, but you shouldn’t have to.

on the flip-side of this, i don’t like vague-posting. i try not to follow people who vague-post unless they have a damn good reason to do it ( i.e. trying to warn people about a past abuser but not wanting to say the person’s name for the sake of their own safety, or somebody else’s ). i strongly dislike when vague-posting is done for the sake of guilt-tripping others or making them uneasy. that’s passive-aggressive, petty & not at all a mature way to deal with conflict. if you’re having issues with someone ( and yes, there is a Huge, Huge Fucking Distinction between miscommunications in a relationship and legitimately toxic and abusive behaviour ), talk to them or else the issue is never going to be resolved. don’t drag everyone else down because you’re feeling upset or frustrated with one person.

people making assumptions about other people’s characters seems to be a problem that’s on the rise. just… don’t do it, even if you truly believe you know the other mun’s character. even if you’ve been writing with that character for years. even if you’ve written that character before yourself. it’s really rude & disrespectful, and most writers i know don’t appreciate someone else coming in and telling them how to portray their own muse, or acting like they know them better than they do. if you’re not sure about something in regards to a partner’s character, just ask. it’s that simple.

9. what is your opinion on exclusivity? do you practice it? why / why not?

   i don’t mind exclusivity & have never seen it as a big deal! if you’re really attached to a friend’s portrayal ( and i personally get very attached to the way my friends write their characters ), i think it’s fine to stick with their interpretation and their interpretation alone. the only time it’s ever been a problem for me is when i’ve written in really small fandoms ( i.e. the fire.fly family trilogy ) and felt the need to give everyone a chance. i think that’s a little bit different than when you’re developing a whole ship or story arc with one specific character, y’know?

38. what advice would you give to someone new to rp?

   don’t make rp your only hobby - that can turn unhealthy super fast. if you rp because you like to write, as i do, find other ways to write if you ever reach a point where you don’t wanna rp but still need a way to express yourself artistically ( and believe me, this Will happen ). if writing isn’t cutting it, then try something new, like drawing, or podcasting, or scrapbooking, or arts & crafts, or even cooking. these are all creative hobbies with very similar pay-offs! 

   don’t become too emotionally dependent on rp. i understand getting invested in characters & ships - believe me, i do - but when it becomes your only source of happiness or when you can’t see yourself being able to function without these things in your life, there’s a problem. similarly, don’t become too emotionally dependent on your friends & writing partners. that isn’t fair to them; they aren’t objects or bots here to cater to you, they’re living breathing people, usually with multiple things going on at once. no one’s life should revolve around one thing or one person, period. that’s recipe for disaster.

   and please, please, don’t treat rp like a job. don’t beat yourself up over things like not writing fast enough, or not writing enough threads, or not writing with enough people or not being online enough. this is a hobby, and should be treated like a hobby, and should absolutely not take priority over things like finding / keeping a job, doing well in school, taking care of your responsibilities & spending time with loved ones. the sooner you stop taking tum.blr rp super-seriously, the happier and more fulfilled you’ll feel. promise.

[mxndwitch]

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? ⚜ How many people do you not like? ☀ What's your rp pet peeve? ☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

the salty af munday meme

1. Someone once copied my url with only a slightly different spelling and stole my blog design, then pretended it had all been a freak accident and she actually came up with all of it on her own xD that was mildly annoying, but luckily solved fairly quickly.

2. Oh boy, idk I love everyone I follow on here! If i don’t like someone, I usually unfollow, or never follow in the first place. I don’t believe in keeping people on my dash that I don’t thoroughly enjoy. I don’t have people in my life I don’t like either, so why would I do anything differently online? So I like everyone here

3. One of my pet peeves rp wise ( I have many, I’ll select one now ) is bad grammar and spelling. I know, you might think now: Katie, you’re not a native speaker yourself and make mistakes! Yes, I hear you and I absolutely agree, but for some ridiculous reason, I still can’t shake that off. And I don’t mean typos or a mistake here or there, I am talking about constant grammatical and spelling mistakes. That just really makes me nervous :’D

4. SO MANY! 

 Policing people and telling them how to write their muse, just so it caters to your selfish needs

the annoying use of the word ‘trigger’, whenever someone doesn’t like a topic on someone else’s blog. If you’re not comfortable with someone’s content, it’s not their job to change it for you! Unfollow, block if you must, but stop being petty! You’re not running around in real life yelling ‘THIS TRIGGERS ME’ 24/7 either. And btw, ACTUAL triggers are a serious part of having anxiety & PTSD, so please consider that your lax use of the word might ‘trigger’ people who actually have issued with it

victim culture on Tumblr. Calling people out, sending them anon hate, making vague posts about how someone is being mean to you, but since you’re such a good person, you won’t say names. You know what? Unnecessary bullshit. You have issues with someone? Approach them in private and address them. If you vague post about it, you’re just looking for attention and that is kindergarten level pettiness. Just take a good hard look at yourself and remember you’re most likely a grown ass adult, then get that knot out of your panties and either solve the situation, or stop being a bitch about it to get likes and sympathy. Bc 90% of the time, no one has actually done anything except exist/write a dublicate/rped with a mutual rp parter and neither one of those is a crime.

Forgetting that there are actual people behind the screens. I feel like on Tumblr ( and any other social media platform ), people do things to others they would never do in real life, just because it is so easy to hide behind anon, or forget about someone by thinking of them as their character. But hell, it hurts your writing partners if you just drop them like a hot potato and move on without them, after you’ve been friends for a while, just because someone better came along. Anon hate is NEVER okay, not just because it is petty and weak to hide behind that grey face, but also because an actual human being with feelings will read your bullshit and it will most likely hurt them. Before you talk shit about someone behind their back, without even really knowing them, please consider that this human being you’re dragging like the popular bitchy prom queen at your former High School, might actually be hurt by what you’re doing and affected by it way worse than you anticipate. You never know what someone might be struggling with behind the facade, so be considerate and just decent. Have respect. We’re all equal here.

Forcing opinions on others. Here’s the dealio, friends: we’re all entitled to our own opinions. Forcing others to change theirs by guilt tripping, or calling them whatever stupid name you can come up with to insult them, is NEVER okay! You’re not here to educate people on how to think, or feel, or behave, so that it matches with your own world view. This is a platform where people come to write, where we interact to create art together and where fans of all fandoms can come together to enjoy their shared interest in the form of graphics, fanfics, rps etc. Our diversity shapes our art and makes it unique, so it is not your job to diminish other people’s views by vague posting about them. There is never only black and white! Your opinions might be valid, but so are those of other people. 

@abiggerworld

[every1studio]

REQUESTED: “all about that bass” [day6: brian]

genre: fluff + slight nsfw/profanity (how can I not with this man...)

ficstyle: bulletpoints + long

@shinjiminbaby asked: “ tsundere! youngk x college au please 😎😎😎😎😎 “

note: xoxo love you and this prompt bc brian is my bias~ hope you like it~

Kang Brian; aka Young K

everyone knows who he is 

but no one really knows how he is

he’s just a hot yet mysterious bassist that plays for a band called “DAY6″

although his bandmates are talkative; he tends to keep to himself

he’s the last one to show up and the first one to leave

you’ve only seen him on stage and a couple of times on campus

no one’s ever seen him smile; which is what makes him so mysteriously attractive

it was Friday morning; 6 am 

it was the start of spring term

you were on morning shift at a coffee shop; you only saw professors and super studious students grab their cup of joe before heading to class

you were trying not to fall asleep standing; you didn’t hear the sliding doors open

“excuse me miss~ can I order?”

knock knock

you shook your head and looked up

Brian was right in front of you; with his instrument case slung on his back over his backpack

he laughs; it was so angelic.. you could say that you fell in love at that moment

“it’s too early for any of this..”

“ye-yeah..”

you both hear the sliding doors open to some girls who were being obvious that they were his fans

“a medium iced americano to-go,” he hands over his card

“sure thing..” 

you both could hear the girls behind him trying to get a look at his face

“he’s so good-looking in person~”

“the stage lights don’t do him any justice..”

(girl, same)

once his card gets approved, he takes the card from you and waits on the side for his drink

the girls only ordered bottled water; they actually came into the shop after seeing Brian enter the shop

they left after paying

“bye Brian~” they waved

he looks at them and nods; emotionlessly

they run out squealing like high school girls

you silently chuckled as you got the americano ready for him

“a medium iced americano~”

you held it out for him

“thanks...” he takes it; emotionlessly 

you smiled at him

“have a good day~”

“you too.. uh..” he looks at your nametag, “y/n..”

he smiled when he said your name

with that he left the shop 

and you were dead

you wanted to blame it on spring

were you falling in love?

you looked as his profile through the glass as he walks to class

(I mean... who wouldn’t fall in love with him...wait)

you just thought it over how..HE SMILED AT YOU?!

YOU?

HE IS KNOWN FOR NOT SMILING AT ANYONE OTHER THAN HIS BANDMATES

BUT HIS SMIILE IS RARE

you couldn’t help but think that it was a sign

you shook your head and slapped your cheeks

“get your head outta the gutters, y/n..”

once your shift ended, you got ready for class

you had to take an arts class as a requirement

“beginning to guitar huh...”

walking in, you expected to see an old looking guy as your instructor

but you saw Brian

he looks up

“oh.. you’re from this morning..” you pointed at him, “you’re the instructor for this class?”

Brian goes back to tune his guitar

“no.. I’m the TA..”

“ah.. okay..”

you wanted to talk to him; but he wasn’t the easiest person to communicate with

soon the class was filled up girls?

to be specific, his fan girls

class was kinda awkward

everyone’s attention was on Brian instead of the instructor (who was actually an old guy.. reminds you of your dad)

“Brian~ you are a bassist, why are you TA for guitar?”

“Brian can you help me out?”

“Brian~”

you were getting slightly irritated; you went to where the instructor was and you asked him about what you should expect from class; yada-yada-ya

Brian looks over at you; you were probably the only person in class who wasn’t giving him a headache  

that made him a little happy?

he kept quiet most of the time; when he spoke it was more like, 7 words max

“well, I started playing the guitar first”

“you’re holding your guitar upside-down”

what felt like an eternity later; class was over

Brian was the first one to leave; everyone was calling him but he dashed off

di-ding

you got a text from your co-worker/bff:

-YO~ GUESS WHAT?

-what”

-Sungjin from DAY6? he’s in my statistics class and he asked me to come to his party tonight~ he also said to bring friends~ it’s at 10pm~

-what if I don’t go?

-I’ll stop working at the coffee shop

-okay, you gotta help me though because idk what to wear

-i gotchu loml 

-k bye

-love me back, bitch

you smiled; when you looked up, you were the only one left in class

“damn”

you walked out the class but you bump into someone

TWAK

“DUDE SERIOUSLY?”

you rubbed your forehead, you looked up and saw Brian

he raises a brow at you, “you should look where you’re going”

you scoffed and pointed at him

“what kinda-”

Brian pokes your forehead, “you could get hurt”

you slowly put your finger down; out of embarrassment, you rubbed the back of your neck

“oh ye-yeah.. okay..”

“what are you still doing here?” he asks as he walks past you

“I could ask you the same”

he sits down and takes out his guitar

“if I didn’t leave, those girls would be chattering away until who knows when..I wanted to compose a few tunes before ending the day..”

you chuckled as you looked at your watch; it was 6 pm

knowing your friend; she’s gonna take hours to get ready and if she’s gonna help you, it might take her longer

“see ya tonight,” you motioned two fingers from your temple to him; saluting kinda

“tonight?”

“yeah.. Sungjin’s party?”

“we’ll see...” he mumbles

you walked out backwards, “don’t be a party pooper, seeya Brian~”

as you dashed off, he bit down on the sides of his cheeks, “it’s Young K..”

hours and hours and hours later

you and your friend finally got ready and it was already 10:30

“are you sure I look okay?”

your friend nodded, “better than those leggings and cropped jackets you wear everyday~”

she painted on a semi-smokey eye with fluttering lashes

she also took out your messy bun and sleeked it straight; you forgot how long your hair was; it was an inch or two below from your breasts

she knew that most of the girls were gonna wear bodycon dresses BUT she said that you had the best body for bodycon dresses so she looked around for the tightest one she could find 

you ended wearing a black strappy low-cut midi dress that had a super high slit on your left thigh with matching black strappy heels

“don’t you think it’s too much?” you turned to look at her

“if yours is too much than mine is outrageous..” she was wearing a deep plunged nude bodycon mini dress 

“you right..”

AT THE PARTY

the both of you could hear the music blasting from a block away

you started to get nervous

your friend grabbed your hand, “if you wanna go home, just let me know..”

she opened the door and Sungjin was talking with Jae

“oh shit... you guys look good..” Sungjin covered his mouth with his red solo cup

Jae reaches to shake your hand, “Jae..”

“y/n..” you said softly

“what?” he leans in closer

“y-y/n..”

Jae starts chuckling, “y/n’s a pretty name for a pretty girl..”

your friend introduced you to Sungjin, “Sungjin, y/n..y/n, Sungjin”

you reached out to shake his hand but he pulls you in for a hug

“I don’t do handshakes, sweetie~” 

you blushed as he let go 

he grazed your butt; but you didn’t want to overthink that he did that on purpose

“hey~ let’s take a shot since you guys are here~” Jae yells as he pulls your friend along

you all walked into the kitchen where all the drinks were

you spotted Brian in the sitting at the counter with two girls by his side..

they were talking to him but it seemed like he was just ignoring them as he drank his beer

he nearly spilled some out of his mouth when he saw you walk into the kitchen

you were chatting it up with Sungjin; laughing at what he said

his arm was also around your waist

Brian didn’t like that.. he saw met you first..

“take your pick ladies..”

you and your friend looked at each other

“go hard or go home; we’re taking tequilla!!” your friend was distributing shot cups to everyone who wanted one

to everyone’s surprise Brian took one too

“WHOOOWEE BRIAN’S GETTING LITTY TONIGHT~” Jae yelled as everyone cheered

once everyone was ready with their shots and salt; you all cheered

Sungjin tapped on your shoulder to do a love shot 

you just went for it

“OOOHHH LOOK AT EM~”

“y/n takes it like a champ!!” Jae said after he did one with your friend 

“this is nothing,” you said as you placed your cup down

Brian looked straight at you as he angrily took his shot

you didn’t notice until you looked over at him

(was he angry? why was he angry..)

you excused yourself from your spot and made yourself over to Brian when you saw the two girls that were with him make their way to the bathrooms

“hey...there Brian,” you were trying to make eye contact with him

“hey”

“you okay?”

he sips his beer as he looks at you

“why wouldn’t I be-”

“HEY Y/N THEY’RE PLAYING SPIN THE BOTTLE!! LET’S GO~”

you looked over at Brian before your friend dragged you out

you reached out to point at him

“you going?”

usually Brian would say “no” but he was had something else on his mind tonight

he grabs your hand, “yeah”

they people around the circle cheered as you guys showed up

“y/n’s the mvp for bring Brian out here, I can’t even get him to participate most of the time~” Sungjin says

there was all of DAY6 in the circle; a couple of other girls; you and your friend

the guys weren’t comfortable with kissing each other so twist of this game was that if a guy got another guy, they’d have to take off a piece of clothing

“cool let’s start~” 

Jae got Wonpil

Wonpil definitely looked like the innocent one of the group; his face got pink as he took off his hoodie, revealing a white v-cut tee

Wonpil warmed up his hands and spun the bottle; he got you

he instantly went from pink to red

you could say it was the alcohol talking, but you crawled over and wrapped your hand on the back of his head

“OOOHHHHHHHH~”

it was a quick but heated makeout 

Wonpil covered his face after, “thank you”

everyone laughed at his cuteness

except for Brian

“y/n your turn~~”

when the bottle stopped turning and everyone went silent

it was pointed at Brian

he got up and took your hand

“we’re leaving..”

he drags you out of the circle and walks into his room 

cl-click

he closes the door

“what do you think you’re doing?”

he was kind of slurring at his words; tipsy

but you weren’t even feeling anything yet

you furrowed your brows at him

“what are you-”

“are you trying to seduce me?”

“wha-?”

this boy wasn’t going to let you talk; he grabbed your face and started kissing you

not leaving you any room to breathe

he backs you up onto his bed

when you fall onto his bed, he stops kissing you

“BRIAN-”

“IT’S YOUNG K; BUT NO ONE EVER CALLS ME THAT”

“I’m..I’m sorry, Young K...” 

he shook his head

“you should be sorry for other things...”

Young K nuzzles into the crook of your neck and starts marking you

“you should be sorry for looking too good in that dress.. you should be sorry for luring and attracting other guys...you should take responsibility for what you did..”

you tried to hold your voice in; not that anyone could hear it anyways

“what..did I do?”

he laughs

“you made me fall in love with you....”

his hands ghosts over your body and grabs the side to where the zipper was

“can I show you?”

you whimpered as you nodded 

the rest of the night was history

you were the first one to wake up

the sunlight was peeking through the curtains

you were only wearing his flannel button-downed shirt; you looked over at him, his arm was snaked around your waist

slightly snoring; he had on a black tank top and his grey sweats

you remembered that you had to take care of him after your guys’ heated session because he had more drinks than you did

you had time to rinse down and take off your makeup

you also tucked him in bed; you were going to leave.. but he insisted that you stayed..

the clock turned 8; you were just looking at him

(he’s more daring than he appears to be...but for some reason, he looked so sweet and soft) you caught yourself having those thoughts

you tried your best to sneak out of bed

but you feel him pull you back

“I can’t have you go..you’ve seen too much of me, I feel exposed..”

he places his chin on top of your head as he pulls you in and sighs deeply

“what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to keep being that “mysteriously chic” guy... that guy everyone thinks I am.. I wanna have fun and chat up with people... but I don’t know how..”

you turned around to face him

“just be yourself.. your real self.. if you say something weird..it’s okay~ you learn from that and continue on..”

you’ve only met him officially yesterday and it’s came down to this situation

he stares at you for a little while longer before saying something

“I partially blame the drinks for what happened yesterday and I know we barely know each other...but...y/n?”

“hmm?”

“can we keep in contact?”

you chuckled at him

“of course... Bri-”

“WHO?”

“Young K..”

END

[masterlist + guidelines]

( ་ ⍸ ་ )

[shoushatohaisha]

review: hajimari no kyojin (osaka 6/1)

so. hello. i usually write up my butai thoughts as, um, 100+ tweet threads in the immediate wake of whatever i just saw, but this time around i thought i'd work them out into a proper report, of a sort. if you, too, have seen this show already and want to talk about it... please. any time. always.

about reviewing: this is my very favorite 2.5D franchise, ever. but this is also a review, not a cheerleading exercise, so not every single thing i have to say is unrelentingly positive. having said that, i respect kinoshita, wada, suga-zachou, and the staff at large more than just about any creative team in this corner of japanese theater fandom so like. i'm not here to drag, lol.

about spoilers: i talk about the plot elements covered but try to avoid spoiling any of the fun production surprises. :) happy to do a more spoilery play-by-play later if folks are curious.

about length: i just checked and it's 2400 words im so sorry.

without further ado...

first of all, i admit that based on the preview clips i doubted, and i was swiftly taken to task for doubting. IM SORRY WORRY-SAN i trust u implicitly and i should have known better. after the major changes in shinka no natsu, i was concerned that bringing back the revolving stage and the original opening theme would feel stale/regressive. it did not. while they did bring back the revolving element they also extended the stage backward and added a second level behind a full stage height projection screen – the second level was used to do some neat staging for flashbacks/parallels and the screen was used to, how shall we say this, up their projection game in a major way, which i frankly did not think was possible. i will not spoil the details but it was pretty great, on a purely technical level.

i also realized that a lot of the repetition – opening with the bike scene, bringing back the original opening credits music, the staging, etc – is the "look back" over the last couple years that i'd expected to come this fall. they are very obviously already preparing for the end – you could think of this as part one of their last show, with the fall as part two. the show opens with a restaging of sixth grader hinata seeing the little giant on tv for the first time – then the current karasuno team take the place of the tv and hinata joins them for a team jog. "karasuno, fight!" "oh!" "fight!" "oh!" only then each character calls out their signature line from the show so far. "uchi no renchuu wa chanto tsuyoi" / "mou tobenai karasu nante yobasenai" / "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!"

and haha. let me tell you. BOY, DID I FEEL THINGS. a lot of things. i think yachi got me the worst but they were all real bad. (i have so many feelings about yachi's story and what a beautiful job saitou ami did with her character on stage. god. ;_;)

the theme of this play was the role of captain – what makes a good captain, what a captain does for the team, and how to step into those shoes when the captain is gone. the johzenji match is fun, but here, in a sense, it exists more or less to set up the wakutani match – (re)establishing daichi's importance so that his absence feels like the gut punch it is. and fully settling the weight of that responsibility on ennoshita's shoulders, as both daichi's substitute on the court and the captain-in-waiting.

with that in mind, the rival schools: imo it wasn't strictly necessary to cast full teams for each school – each match got its own dedicated act, and unlike, for example, nekoma/datekou in karasuno fukkatsu (which had a similar story structure), there aren't really any individual characters on these rival schools who have a role as such other than terushima and takeru. (you know, the captains. see above. XD) so in theory one could get this done with, like, one actor for each captain and then an ensemble cast playing the rest of the team across both matches. HOWEVER, having all those bodies allows them to do super cool stuff visually, and why force yourself to create the illusion of a full team if you don't have to? i.e., /i/ sure am not complaining, isn't it nice to have $$$ to achieve the max vision of your choreographer. XD

i also have no doubt that the kids playing these other characters are doing whatever they can to create a character within the ensemble, and i suspect there's plenty for repeat viewers to pick up on, esp during say the johzenji match (see below). however for the first time viewer following the main flow of the story it's more or less a very large ensemble cast.

the johzenji chaos was well expressed, haha, there was so damn much going on all the time that i hardly knew where to look. (i've also seen opinions on j-twitter that that diluted the impact and i can see that too – it worked for me as a "funny" match that didn't cross the line into comic relief, but ymmv.) i thought the final scene with misaki would pack more of a punch, but i fully expect them to cry at daisenshuuraku so that might fill in the last 10% that's missing rn.

wakutani are another Good Dance Team. one did get a sense, stylistically, of fukurodani- and nekoma-lite with johzenji and wakunan, respectively – i assume that was intentional. mirroring the cats vs owls match, as it were. yanagihara rin's takeru was like… scary?? i had to rewatch those episodes this weekend to see if i'd just forgotten something, but no, stage takeru is not so much reliable middle brother as scowly quiet tough guy. he looked like a kyoutani tbh, and looking at the kid actually cast for kyoutani, one wonders if someone in casting mixed up some paperwork or something. having said that, yanagihara was great at being the character he was, i enjoyed what he did on stage. i'm just not sure that character was takeru. XD (edit: ok having just rewatched, i have to revise this somewhat, i think a big part of my impression was due to being too far back to properly see his expressions the first time around -- up close he was much smilier, and bc i was thinking about it i noticed some nice details like him going over for a family hug afterward.) otoh big post-match scene – all of wakutani, actually – was really good. v effective, i heard sniffles around me.

during this match, johzenji reappeared dressed as takeru's family: FUCKING HILARIOUS omg, everyone involved has clearly learned how to do this right wrt blocking, the very fine line between comic relief and intrusion, etc, after the, er, shaky shousha to haisha experiment of kuroken doubling as oikawa's fangirls. seichou shita na, errone.

also, some great wire work for hinata and takeru – you could tell kenta is really comfortable up there these days. the first time the wires came into play one of the women behind me went "UWO!" which, when a japanese theatergoer makes a noise out loud, that's a true sign something's impressive. XD

nekoma vs fukurodani: Yeah, That Happened. it is a testament to how well done karasuno vs wakunan was that i didn't just spend the entire time screeching BRING BACK CATS VS OWLS because fjkdajfkdlsfjd KYAA. another good staging moment – they used mirrors to create the effect of two full teams playing at a crowded gymnasium, it was brill. i won't spoil some of the fun details but vvjakdlfjdf. and tbh i think the best performance of the four was probably shouri's?? not that this is news but istg idk how someone so soft offstage does THAT on stage. is it this "acting" thing you speak of.

new bokuaka: i mean it was clear some of this material was meant for yoshimoto kouki and i did kinda miss him – i appreciate higashi-san's pinch hitting and he did a solid job. but. ah well. HAVING SAID THAT. fucking "michi wo tsukurimasu yo" i mean we should all be grateful it wasn't kouki and yuuki or it would have just been a fucking fanfic on stage. it was still bad and i don't even go here. XD

and last but not least, arita ushiwaka kenji: not exactly the world's most natural line delivery but that's fine because, i mean, he's ushiwaka. and his physical presence was perfect. which was about all he was called on to do in this particular show, ahaha.

now, for karasuno. and specifically, for my son, kawahara kazuma. remember what i said approximately a thousand words ago, about captains and captains in waiting and stepping up to the plate? (or onto the court, as it were.) ennoshita's story was the heart of the wakutani match and kazuma carried the second act. he was. so. good. he had good material to work with, of course, but he made it even better. i was saying to a friend that in retrospect i think this is one of the very very few parts of the series that actually played better and more emotionally affecting on stage than in the source material (as opposed to differently good/differently affecting). in the manga/anime, you can only see what the paneling or the frame shows you, and those initial paneling/framing choices are focused on the drama of CAPTAIN DOWN. but on the stage, daichi goes down… and off to the side you see ennoshita freeze. and from that moment on, for kazuma, it's go time. he doesn't let up until the end of post-match scene in (here) the locker room – which, jesus, that scene. it packs ten times the punch it does in the anime. because of kazuma.

sorry if i sound like a crazy person here ahaha. but like. like, imagine you have been acting since childhood, you've studied dance with famous choreographers and innovators, you had a main role in The Franchise That Changed 2.5D as a teenager, you've done a solo album, you have a serious history in performing arts... and you get cast in what was initially the smallest role of the entire karasuno team. and you take it! and pull your weight! kazuma was a team player for three years and he deserved this chance to let his actual skills shine so much. ;_; because i don't necessarily think he would have been better in any of the other roles than his actual teammates – but i do think he is a much better actor than several of his actual teammates. and he finally got the opportunity to show that.

anyway, when it came time for curtain calls, the applause swelled noticeably for kazuma – a louder ovation than anyone except kagechan and kenta. and one of those people clapping her hands off, say in row 20, just a random row choice, was definitely tearing up at the same time.

IN OTHER KARASANEWS. kt-san. LIVE IN PERSON KT-SAN BACK IN THE ROLE HE WAS MEANT FOR cries into my hands i love him daichi-saaaaaaaaaan. very occasionally his delivery reminded me he's a model not an actor, if you know what i mean, but like, for the vast part it didn't matter because he is naturally such a perfect fit. have i mentioned i love him.

new suga: mmmmm. he looked and moved fine but his line delivery did not convince me. tbf it's not like suga has a huge role to play in these matches so 1) it's not a huge deal 2) he didn't get much chance to get into the character. either he'll get better or he won't, and if he doesn't it's not going to sink the next play or anything. he seems like a nice enough kid, i wish him well!

kageyama tatsuya: still can't yell and enunciate at the same time. loved that they brought back the archer analogy from shinka no natsu though!! it was one of my favorite things about his kageyama, and it's nice that it's something he "owns" instead of imitating/inheriting from tatsunari.

tsukishima & yamaguchi: miura kairi continues to get even better, i'm so pleased. <3 also, i love love love that they still use the musical motif from shousha to haisha for yamaguchi's jump float serve. it was the same in shinka no natsu, it's the same here. THE TSUKKIYAMA WAS REAL CUTE, great detail work before and after the serve as well as after tsukki's block(s). as for tsukishima, much as they brought back kageyama's archer imagery, they brought back tsukki's fancy katana kill block. (they didn't waste kondou shouri, either, i'll leave it at that.)

last but not least, MY ACTUAL SON AND FEELINGS TWIN, SUGA KENTA: ok like. to set the scene here. i have mad respect for this kid and also love him to death as a human. i think he puts more thought into this production than anyone else in the cast – he is practically worry-san's AD. and he clearly has a lot of real deep thoughts and feelings about the source material. so deep in fact that it took a while for me to come around to his hinata because while, for example, tatsunari's kageyama could have walked straight off my television screen, kenta went down to the manga and built hinata up from there. he didn't have a choice – he's nothing like murase ayumu's voice. all too often we, and i include myself here, think of the two dimensions in 2.5D as anime, rather than manga... but just as there's a big gap between the two dimensions of animation and the three dimensions of live theater, there's as big a gap again between static black-and-white drawing, and movement and color and sound. and when i looked at kenta's hinata as something created solely from furudate's art style, it all slotted into place for me. (naturally, ymmv.)

it also took kenta longer than some of the others, i think, to portray all of what he wanted to. shoen hinata was pretty yelly, and pretty single-register yelly. hinata is a yelly character, of course, but the balance between that hinata and Serious Match Hinata was out of whack at first. this got better and better with every show. and then—

his encounter with ushiwaka here. was IT. it was what i was looking for all this time. his delivery of hinata's big line there was like – i think maybe i clapped my hands over my mouth, unclear, bc it was like the final missing piece and i was so happy. kentaaaaa. ;____;

part of me wonders if this is what kenta's always had in his head but maybe couldn't get his face/voice to express the way he wanted it? OR, IT'S KENTA, SO MAYBE IT WAS ON PURPOSE and his previous Serious Hinata was meant to be like, just a feral hunger child whereas this is the kid who experienced the heartbreak of losing to seijou. i would love to ask him tbh. XD

anyway, my son, after five plays continues to grow in his portrayal of this character. kenta is the heart of gekidan haikyuu in so many ways, and i will be at their graduation show if it kills me.

(breathes out) i think that's. everything. a best setter award to anyone who read this far, and feel free to ask if there's anything specific you want to know about? i will be seeing it again this weekend for daisenshuuraku and will be sure to report back on who cried, etc. all hail volleyball stage the end. 🏐

[prince-boi]

From Your Dearest

Reader x Mark

Word Count: 2,760~ish words idk I didn’t count properly, I know there’s 1,034 “i”s in this fic

Angst, Like really angsty, like get some tissues angsty. Major Angst ahead lol. Like I felt like a horrible person writing this. I want to punch myself in the face.

 (Btw I just copied and pasted half of a fic I wrote like idk last year or something and I changed the ending of the story too. So don’t get pissed and call me out if you think I’m lazy or something, mate.)

We met each other at the grocery store:

“Mum! Who’s that girl!” a small boy asked in while pointing to y/n.

“Oi! Don’t point! That’s rude Mark!” the parent scolded. The boy pouted, he only wanted an answer.

Y/n’s parent bent down to his level, “I’m your mother’s friend, this is y/n, she will be staying at your place for a little bit because I need to do some grown-up things. Is that okay with you?” Mark looked up at his mother with a questioning face, she chuckled and nodded. Mark sneaked a glance at the shy girl that was hiding behind the unfamiliar adult and held out his hand, smiling as he did so,

“Let’s be friends!”

When we entered primary school:

Our parents sent us to the same school, we knew no one else besides each other and some other kids from our neighbourhood. We all ran into our lines, ready to be welcomed into a neat classroom as the bell rang.

“Good morning students! My name is Ms Gonsha, I will be your teacher.” Little Lunch Reference.

The teacher started calling the roll, and after we started our first lesson: Art.

Paint few here, pencils shreddings were being emptied in the bins, glue was being eaten, crayons were being snapped in half.

“Art is my favourite subject” You stated happily to Mark. You and Mark had grown close to each other since the first day they met, they were a troublemaking duo, partners in crime.

“Mark! Come sit with us!” Y/n called over.

It was lunch-time and Mark was sitting on the swing-sets alone, eating his chicken sandwich. You ran over, grabbing his wrist and lunch box, dragging him back to your lunch table with all your other friends.

After you all finished eating, you played tiggy with all the other kids until it was home time.

Highschool - Junior years, a place with a cess-pool full of moody and rowdy kids:

“Boys are better than girls!! We’re stronger!”

“Wrong! Strength doesn’t make someone better! It’s obvious that girls are way better!”

Here we go again, the groups are fighting over the lunch tables. Mark could see that you weren’t having much fun in this, and neither was he. Mark wanted to get out ASAP. Sneaking over, he tugged your uniform. Grabbing your arm, he pulled you away and sitting you under a tree.

“It sucks that you’re taller than me, you’re a girl!”

“Nah, you just haven’t had your growth spurt yet.” You loved teasing Mark with your height, it was typical for girls to be taller than most boys at this age, after all, you just hit puberty.

You and Mark had kept your distance during your time in 7 to 9th grade. Everyone always seems to think that someone was dating even if they were JUST friends.

Finally, Senior year of highschool. We’re almost mature and fully grown adults, graduation on our minds:

It wasn’t a surprise that you two got shipped a lot in school. Almost the entire year level knew you guys were the best of best friends. It was obvious too, you two were the clowns of the class.

However, that was when you found out you had a disease in your cardiovascular system. A sickness that affects the function of the human heart that could lead to the grave, if not treated. Nobody knew this, not even Mark, only the people in your family.

The first time you found out, you were crushed, devastated.

Mark was always there by your side though. He never knew the reason for why you were also so upset, tired or growing weak so suddenly. It took a while to pull you out of your hole of misery, but he did.

Through this journey, you learnt many things about appreciation, value and time. You experienced many emotions, most of which were new to you. However, one emotion struck you hard.

This emotion or ‘feeling’ is the driver of passion, anger, desire, lust, insanity or spirit within many people.

This feeling is known no other than ‘love’.

Which one day lead to you leaving a secret love letter in a special someone’s locker on Valentine’s Day.

University and College, we’ve been separated, but we were only a few blocks away from each other. Is this fate that we’ve been together for so long?:

Laughing filled the dorm room.

“HAHAHAHAHA, STOP IT NOW MY STOMACH HURTS.” one of your colleagues yelled. You just cracked one your all-time joke, the best joke you had used since you were young.

Life was good, well, except for the fact that you still had the heart disease and still never told Mark how you really felt about him. It was too late for that now.

Since you guys were separated into different study centres, he managed to find a girlfriend. Well, the girlfriend found him really. It hit you hard the moment he told you, but you were happy for him, even though you felt a BIT bitter. read: very

The future - the one thing no one can correctly predict, nor can they promise success or failure. This powerful thing contains the fate that could send you to the streets or lead you to your dreams:

You were happy, we had your dream job, moved overseas and you were still young. Mark had made it into SM Entertainment. He is in a group called NCT. Not only did he debut but he did it THREE times, too!(and possibly more in future). Another thing was that he wasn’t dating anymore, the girl he went out with turned out to be a mongrel.

Cliché or not, she was a backstabber and used him to get what she wanted: to make her ex jealous. Leaving Mark dangling with insincere memories.

You still loved him. You still looked at him with all the love in the world. All the love the universe could give you. The pure, innocent, puppy love waaaay back in highschool.

Halfway through the year, you got an emergency call to go to the hospital.

“Miss (your last name), I’m afraid your heart can’t take it anymore, you still have long left. We estimate you to only live 1 more year unless we find a matching heart donor.” the doctor said in a stern tone.

There. That was the moment. The sentences that made the cookie crumble.

You broke down, your life was perfect the way it was, a loving best friend, a wonderful job, a beautiful home. What did you do to deserve this?

Later that week, you manage to find courage. After getting a grip on yourself, you decided to go to Mark’s dorm to tell him the long-awaited news.

3 knocks on the door were all it took for you to suddenly hear someone storming to the door, flinging it open.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?!!” Mark screamed. You saw that he had tears on his flushed, rosy cheeks, glassy, swollen eyes and red tinted nose. You glanced behind him, seeing a wire bin, filled with squishy tissues, probably from runny snot and tears.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to–”

“I AM YOUR FRIEND. No. YOUR BEST FRIEND. FOR HOW MANY YEARS?! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD TELL ME THESE THINGS!” you’ve never seen Mark like this in a long time. He was broken, roaring out all his bottled anger and frustration. 

You were about to say something when he embraced you in a tight grasp.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being there, I’m sorry for yelling….” you felt your shoulder getting wet, and lead him. Sitting him down on the sofa.

You calmed him down and consulted him. You lightened the mood a little by telling Mark his favourite joke. Light sounds of laughter were heard throughout the night.

Mark decided to let you stay at the dorms for the night.

You only had 3 months left, I promise to give you everything, even if it kills me:

You had never felt so alive for so long. Mark had shown you places you never thought you’d see, both physically and spiritually. Nothing was on your mind but what was happening at the moment. Mark had taught you how to live - to live in the present and not worry about the future or dwell in the past.

After the many adventures, the both of you had been on, Mark said that he had to start promoting with NCT again. You hadn’t seen him for almost 2 months. The first month he had some issues to sort out with his company, before meeting you again. However, it was only a short visit before he had to return to Canada to visit his family. Staying there for 1 month.

You received a letter from the hospital, saying that you were blessed. They had finally found a heart donor that matches you!! You were so happy and in complete bliss. You wanted to call Mark and tell him about the notice, but he didn’t pick up. You tried again for the next few days, he still never picked up.

The night sky shone through the window as you laid in the hospital bed. You checked your phone one last time before you decided to sleep. Then you realized Mark had finally contacted you by text.

Mark: I’m so sorry y/n, I won’t be able to make it to you on time. I hope surgery will go smoothly. Trust my heart.

I’m sorry, last goodbyes are always difficult. Please know that I’ll be watching over you:

The day finally came. You were getting your heart transplant. As you entered the operation room, you were scared, but you thought of the text Mark sent, it calmed you just a little.

When you healed, the first place you went to was Mark’s dorm. You continued knocking. Until a very sleepy Haechan swung open the door.

“Who are you, and why do you have to visit us at such an ungODLY HOUR on the weEKENDS!”

“MorNING HAECHAN!! Is Mark here?!”

No answer.

You cocked your head at Haechan’s reaction. Usually, he would’ve given you a snide remark or joke about what Mark was up to. However, this time he lowered his head. Shuffling back inside, leaving the door wide open for you to come in.

You run in the living room, not a sign of Mark. Just Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeil watching a movie. They turned to you, Doyoung opened his mouth to say something but you heard someone call out in the kitchen. Waving politely to the three boys sitting on the couch, you headed towards the kitchen.

“Hi Taeyong, Yuta, Winwin! How are you all?”

“Hi y/n! Back so soon? Shouldn’t you be resting after your surgery?” Taeyong asked, surprised by your greeting.

“It’s all good! The doctors said that I’m fully recovered and that I should be good to go.” You happy replied.

Taeyong smiled, “That’s good! Oh, can you pass those bowl to Sicheng and Yuta? They’ve been starving all day.” yuwin

“Sure thing.” You went over to Taeyong and carefully carried the 2 bowls of steaming phở to Yuta and Winwin, who were sitting on the kitchen bench.

“Thanks, y/n!” They said in unison, before starting to scoff down the food.

“Oh! By the way, do you guys know where Mark is?” You curiously asked.

Just before you finished talking, Yuta started choking on the rice noodles, causing Sicheng to panic.yuwin Taeyong spun around, accidentally knocking over the bowl full of water and bean sprouts.

“Ah- y/n, did he not tell you?” Taeyong suddenly asked, not caring about the mess he made on the floor.

“Whats all the commotion about?” Before you could even form a response, Johnny rushed into the kitchen, “Is everything okay in here guys?... and Y/n?”

There was a long silence, the tension began building up slowly.

Taeyong bent down and started cleaning up, “Well, we were on the topic about... Mark.”

Johnny’s face dropped. His usual cheery attitude seemed to have faded away. “Oh.”

You couldn’t take it anymore, you were confused and frustrated. You now had a bad feeling growing in your gut, “Guys! I just want to know where Mark is! Did something bad happened to him while I was gone?? I’m lost...”

Straightening himself up, Taeyong signalled to Johnny to clean up whatever was left of the mess on the floor.

“Come with me, y/n.”

Slowly, you were guided into his room, then left alone. You slowly twisted the knob.

It was completely different to the last time you saw it. Lifeless, boxes stacked in neat towers, the bed covered with a large plastic sheet. His roommate, Haechan, no longer was in the room and had probably moved into a different room with another member.

You walked around the room, observing everything closely. Everything was packed up, either wrapped or boxed. You passed his desktop. His phone laid there alongside his laptop and headphones. What seemed like hundreds of pages, containing messy scribbles of passionate lyrics and doodles, stacked neatly in a pile.

You tip-toed over to his bed. No blanket or pillow, just the bare mattress covered by a plastic wrap. You checked under his bed, feeling more sentimental than ever.

There you saw his beloved guitar. His favourite pair of sneakers and a shoe box. However, that caught your eye was the shoe box. It had a ribbon hanging out from it. Letting your curiosity taking over the best of you, you carefully pulled out the box.

You picked it up carefully and placed it on his bed. Warily opening the lid, you were presented with a number of items the box contained. You looked through the many polaroids of Mark and the other NCT members. Some of them have cute little messages written behind them. Then you found a framed portrait of him in Canada, posing with his family during Christmas.

You smiled warmly, he was always close to his family and loved them dearly. You placed the frame down next to the box with the utmost care and continued exploring through the box.

You then found another framed portrait, this time it contained you and Mark. You stretched your head, thinking of they he would frame such a photo like this. It was taken on the day that he officially debuted, when ‘The 7th Sense’ was finally released to the world. In the picture, Mark was giving you a piggyback, your hair wild and tossed from the wind.

Putting that portrait down next to the one of his family. You gave one last look in the box again, seeing a familiar red card. Picking up the card, you opened it. Skimming through the message inside it, you realised that it was the same love letter you wrote to him in high school. But you noticed there was more writing on the back. This time, with Mark’s handwriting;

Hello, my wonderful Y/N!!

If you’re reading this, it must mean that the surgery went well! :D

Haha, jokes aside, I’m sorry I wasn't there to see you going in but I hope you weren’t too nervous. I’m so, so sorry, be happy and smile for me okay?

This love letter... I always knew this letter was from you y/n, I always had. I’m not as dumb as you think I am ;)

I loved you since 7th grade and wanted to confess to you so so so badly for all these years. But I was a coward I guess. A chicken, a fool, a dullard, call me whatever you want, but when I heard you had that heart disease, I wanted to make it up to you. So I made it my goal to get rid of it.

I searched for the perfect heart donor. I searched, I really did, far and wide to find one. But perhaps I’m just unlucky because I never found one. However, after I became an idol, I had to do health checks. When I got my results back, I was shocked to see that we had a match!

I informed my company and needed to visit my parents to confirm my decision, it took a while, but here we are.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, yes, I am your heart donor. Jeez Y/n, I thought you were smarter than that.

I may not have been the perfect best friend or your maybe future husband/boyfriend, but I least I can be with you to the end of time.

My heart will keep you going! So please, look after it and look after the boys of NCT! I’ll miss you... I hope you’ll miss me too...

From your dearest, Mark Lee♡

Fucking idk whether to cry or cringe.

[ask-svt-hearteu]

If You Come Back ` Hong Jisoo (part 2)

 Admin note: Hey there everyone! I’ve decided to make this a series. I honestly just really wanted to write this story and I know it probably won’t get that many notes but I’m glad I get to try something a bit different than what I normally do ^~^ (there’s going to be multiple parts:)

Recap: Several years have passed since Joshua left to follow his dreams. What may happen when you decide to see him one last time?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

I Missed You

waiting

waiting isn’t something easy to do is it?

waiting for the future especially

because the future is unknown

waiting led you to this moment

waiting implies that you were hoping for something

you expected something

and it was waiting for him that made you do this

made you impulsively buy a plane ticket

that would take you half-way across the world

to him

you reached instinctively for your suitcase

it was small

only contained enough clothing to last you a few days

some toiletries that you knew you would need

and a letter

you reached for that letter that had been kept carefully in your carry-on

and took a deep breath as you reread what you had written

the letter was several pages

you started on page 1

Page 1

“Hey Josh! How are things over there? I know you don’t get to contact home very often, but your mom said I should probably try to write what I wanna tell you down on paper. That way when you do call, I’ll be able to say everything I wanted to. So uhhh, I guess the first thing I wanted to say is hi! I hope you’re eating well, I hope you’re sleeping well. I hope things are going well. Graduation was kind of boring without you. We could have stood in a corner somewhere being the socially awkward nerds we are together, while everyone else celebrated the end of high school. But don’t worry! I saved you some of your favorite chocolate that your mom got me for graduation. Though I’m not too sure how I’ll send it to you. Anyway, I just wanted to say, that things are going good over here and ummm… I miss you.”

the date read four years ago

you were finishing the last year of college

when you decided to take this trip

the trip that would somehow end up giving you closure

this first page of the letter was four years ago

when he left

at first

right after he had left

you didn’t expect it to hurt quite so much

you didn’t expect Joshua being gone to be quite as difficult as it turned out to be

you missed him

it was hard calling him

he wasn’t given all that much time to call home

and when he did

you didn’t want to take away his time from his family

the truth was

you had to stop every fiber of your body from screaming

if you got on the phone with Joshua

every part of you wanted to scream

and tell him you missed him

that you wanted him to come back

but you also knew how much it meant for him to be there

and so the rare moments you did get to talk to him

went nothing like that

”How are things?”

”There are a lot of trainees, and we have English tests and take vocal lessons and dance until our legs want to fall off. I’m struggling, y/n, it’s hard.”

you want to tell him that you miss him

you want to tell him that if it’s hard, he should rest and that he should get sleep and eat and take care of himself

you want to tell him to be happy

”I believe in you. You can do it.”

and that’s all you say to him

and that’s all you get to say to him

you moved into the dorms for your first year of college

making the trip back to your house

and then the 127 steps down to Joshua’s house

weren’t really an option

not with projects and homework assignments and exams

no rest for the weary

you were ok though

Joshua’s mom talked to your mother quite often

and she would tell you how he was doing

granted you only heard indirectly

but anything left was more than enough

and three years along the line

you never quite forgot about him

never quite understood why your college friends always insisted on setting you up with cute Mike from the biology department

or the babe Zack from the the fine arts department

”Honestly y/n, it’s like you’re married to someone else when you’re hella single.” your friends would tease

”I suppose.”

but all these years you had liked Joshua

had missed Josh

it was a bit like waves crashing on the shore

loving him was like the sound of crashing waves

the sound of the waves was constantly in the back of your mind

fueling all your actions

but never quite so loud that they blocked out your everyday life

which is why

as nice as Ryan from Stats class was

you were ok being in love with your childhood friend

who lived across the ocean

you didn’t tell anyone except your roommate

Cara was more than a bit understanding

and three years of being roommates and friends

was enough for you to find out how wonderfully supportive a friend like her could be

late night convos would be had over love and life

and she’d ask you how long you were willing to wait for him

”I’m not too sure.” would always be your answer

but she understood that

and then

he debuted

you heard from your mom

finally he was going to debut

that was the first time in three years

you had driven home in a rush

tears, happy tears, in your eyes

back home to where your parents were

and treated them and Joshua’s mom to dinner

celebrating how amazing it all seemed

and when his mom handed you her phone asking if you wanted to say something to him

you sat quietly tearing up again

but turned her down

saying he would be busy

but you were scared

what do you say

no it’s better this way

you ordered his first album

his voice matured more when you listened to him singing

no longer quite the boy from church you remember chasing around begging him to sing you something on his guitar

from which he would play a bit of something, any song, just for you

but it was still very much his voice

and when your album arrived

”Ooooh which one is Joshua?” Cara asked you

you looked through the 13 photo cards included and pulled out his

”God y/n, I hate you, your love story is straight out of a movie.”

you thought back on the memories fondly while waiting for your flight

over the years, you had ordered each of his albums

the 12 other boys also had your heart

because they took care of Joshua

and were his friends and family

for that you were happy he was happy

”Flight 207 to Seoul boarding. Flight 207 to Seoul.”

this was it

you dragged your suitcase over and boarded your plane

looking out the plane’s window in your seat

the night sky welcoming

you had thought you could wait for Joshua

well no

you never really expected him to come back

you had hoped he would

but it had been four years already

and while he could very well have moved on

you wanted to see him one last time

to tell him he had done it

he had done well, he had worked hard

you had no plans for how you would see him

surely everyone would think you were just some crazy fan

but you had to

at least one last time

tell him to be happy

and then maybe you’d finally be able to move on

four years is a long time

you drifted to sleep while flying through the clouds

Day 2

Korea was beautiful

after a quick nap in the hotel room after landing

you had decided to just explore the nightlife of the city

going around to various shops

eating food from various food stands

it was all very beautiful

it felt like a dream

you shouldered your backpack as you took in the city lights

staring at awe in everything

you can imagine falling in love with a place like this

you wonder if Joshua fell in love staring at the city lights here

as you begin walking again you feel a sharp pain in your side as you’re roughly shoved

you catch yourself with your arms as you trip onto the ground

”Oh.”

you huff pulling yourself up to face the guy who had just accidentally pushed you

”You know that was very rude. Even if you are in a hurry, there’s no need for pushing!!!” you say brushing off yourself to face the perpetrator

he has a mouth mask and a cap so you can’t see his face really clearly

he doesn’t say anything

”Oh sorry, you probably don’t understand English.” you say switching to Korean, “Anyway, I expect an apology, I fell, you’re lucky I’m not pressing charges-”

”Y/n?”

you freeze

that voice

out of the entire city of Seoul

just your luck

just like fate

that voice

you recognized

Joshua slowly pulled off his cap and pulled his mask down

revealing his identity fully to you

you held your breath

honestly the universe couldn’t have waited until tomorrow for you to meet Joshua again after four years

you had imagined this moment over and over again

imagined what you would say

”So hey” “I traveled halfway across the world to see you again.” “Hey remember me from high school?”

all of your responses drained out of you

you didn’t know what to say

”I-” you begin

you watch at the sound of your voice

a sound he wasn’t quite sure if he’d remember

his face light up at it

it was almost as if he heard it everyday

and before you could really react

his arms pulled you

pulled your very physical being

crashing into his

like waves on a shore

the closing of hundreds of miles of distance

of years of time

as he held you in his arms

as his warmth enveloped you gently

and as you settled your arms around him too

the feeling was indescribable

everything felt blurry and bright and colorful and safe

it felt like home

”I missed you.”

Admin note: More fluff to come, a lot more fluffy, but maybe some angst too? idk you guys tell me what you want from this series

MASTERLIST

[onlyjihoons]

policeman!jihoon pt.2

a/n; special thanks to bff jupiter @chaeyolks for the pretty pretty moodboard once again,, also! this is a collab w @alliwannado-w1, her installment for woojin is coming up this weekend so do look forward to it^^

policeman!jihoon pt.1//policeman!woojin

warning: slight alcohol mention+slight violence, however characters are written when they are of adult age

“you’re illegal, why are you even a police officer?”

“you’re going to do undercover duty with y/n.”

“again?!”

“unless you want me to–”

“yes sir”

so here he was, groaning at his impeccable luck

he needed to get back at daniel for making him buy that drink LOL

“hello, im inspector park jihoon, please take care of me”

you looked up, being greeted by jihoon, in a light blue button down and ripped jeans

with that lanyard that has his name and picture??

usually staff id pics look like mugshots

but hey his pic deadass looks like a shot of those models for some fashion show

“hello, i’m sergeant y/l/n,” you smiled, sticking out your hand, “i hope we will work well together.”

at that moment jihoon fell for your brown eyes

and dimples when you smile

whatever he said about having zero interest in girls was thrown into the gutter

jihoon was tasked to shadow you for your duties for a month

he was pretty sure he was gonna get sacked for falling for his superior LOL

anyways

your first day of working with jihoon was nothing big, just typing out some reports

it was a little weird because an inspector from the violent crimes department in a street crimes(idk what its called pls forgive me) department? typing out reports of a lost puppy??

anyhow your female colleagues from the other departments will ever more often drop by your desk just to see jihoon

it was getting annoying how theyre actually paying more attention to jihoon

so you asked minhyun to dispatch you for more undercover duties LOL

“i thought you loved writing reports”

“not until the female sergeants from other departments come to my desk to see inspector park??”

“are you jealous?”

ngl you were but you arent gonna let it show

especially in front of minhyun

he would f l i p

“try having 3 colleagues flocking to your table every 2 hours to see your co-worker instead of talking to you, and also distracting you from doing work.”

“fine”

undercover was boring, you would normally drag sergeant!baejin along with you

but this time he wanted to stay in the office because he doesnt want to be the “third wheel”

you and jihoon would go to the same club everyday to do undercover duties

and the both of you manage to bust some sleazy dudes

since the whole thing was already under control the both of you soon don’t need to go to the club

and actually do night patrols

it was fun, because jihoon would entertain you by pulling funny faces and treat you to ice cream

contrary to your expectations, jihoon was actually quite nice to be around with

but then something in your mind went off about him

 you remembered the fuckboy senior that played with girls’ hearts in high school

it was jihoon

you were well aware that you were a position above him despite the 2 year age gap

but you couldn’t let yourself fall for someone who breaks hearts

so you decided to build a invisible wall of friendship to prevent yourself from falling for him

i mean how couldn’t you,, he was good looking, good at his work, and had a faint protective vibe which you liked

like whenever you were feeling only a little chilly at the cool breeze jihoon would not hesitate to drape his jacket over you

and also let you walk on the inside of the pavement

besides, minhyun would fall off his chair at the thought of his sister dating someone from the violent crimes department

but that didn’t stop you from having fun

the both of you would sit at swings and play at the slides

there was once jihoon was stuck at one of the slides and you had to help him LOL

but ended up pulling out one of his Stan Smiths and nearly called the fire brigade

day by day, the both of you got closer

and you told jihoon not to call you “sergeant hwang” bc that sounds rlly formal

one day the both of you were just talking about random stuff and you mentioned that you wanted to pick up martial arts

“i can teach you if you want!^^”

“really? what martial arts do you do?”

“i have a six-don black belt in taekwondo, i do teach little kids in my spare time as well”

so here you are, standing at the back of jihoon’s taekwondo class

you felt very over-aged learning taekwondo with a bunch of white-belt kids

but they were really good, and jihoon told the kids you were his assistant for the time being

yeah, assistant with a white belt

and just saying, jihoon looked rlly rlly hot in that taekwondo uniform

with slightly sweaty bangs and all

when he just stands aside for the kids to practice and adjusts his belt

bOI

ok moving on

you learnt some basic moves and jihoon barely needed to coach you to get them right

so all those years of fighting with minhyun was worthwhile

jihoon would shift you up to a yellow belt in two weeks because you were that good

so one day your eyes obviously wasn’t doing you good

you kept messing up the sequence throughout the lesson, maybe your condition wasn’t good

jihoon could see it and asked you to rest for a while

after the lesson ended, you took your street clothes and accidentally walked into the men’s changing room

and you walked into a topless jihoon

luckily, he was the only one inside

you could see his toned abs, and defined arms

not to mention that killer jawline

and in taekwondo pants????

jihoon noticed you staring slightly and then fumbled to find his taekwondo robe

and you noticed you were in the wrong changing room

“oh shit im so sorry i--i”

just as you were about to get out of the changing room jihoon blocked the door

without his robe

“y/n, did you enter the wrong changing room to see,,,”

“see?”

he pointed to his abs, “this?”

you could only laugh, “i would never do that, i can easily see them on the internet”

he raised his eyebrows, “so you watch porn?”

“no??” you rolled your eyes, offended, “do you think i’m that kind of person, inspector park?”

“n-no--”

“i’m sorry i’m not like those girls you played with back in high school, i’m not after your body--”

“you’re driving me crazy, y/n”

“what?”

“your eyes, your nose, your lips, drive me crazy.” jihoon stared right into your eyes, making you blush

“hey inspector park--”

“why don’t you call me ‘jihoon oppa’ anymore? is our relationship strictly work-related now?”

“i just...” you sighed how something small could escalate to something big like this, “i like you, jihoon-oppa”

you slightly cringed but you continued, 

“but we cant do this. minhyun will get mad, and there goes my job.”

“b-but--”

“sorry, inspector park, i’d have to go.”

you pushed jihoon aside weakly, then going out and into the ladies’ changing room

you felt hot tears trickling down your face, in reality, you just didn’t want your heart to be broken

the next day, you and jihoon went to work like a normal day

just, no patrolling and writing of reports the whole day

the office could sense a tension between the both of you, even your female colleagues stopped coming over

“hey y/n,” baejin stopped by your table and handed over a file, “you gotta go undercover again for that club, the perverts are striking again.”

“again?” you sighed, “okay i’ll go.”

“do you need me to go with you?” baejin leaned against your desk, “ you seem, off, today”

“i-”

“i will go with her, sergeant bae.” jihoon spoke, “it’s my last day here anyway.”

so fast, a month has passed, you thought.

“thanks inspector park. i’ll get going then.”

you skipped dinner, all you did was to write reports continuously throughout the day

until jihoon slammed your laptop shut, and stared straight into your eyes

“we need to go now, sergeant hwang.” his lips stretched into a straight line.

you unwillingly got up from your seat, as you shrugged on your coat and headed out to the carpark to wait for jihoon

the car ride was quiet, with you staring out of the window, not talking to jihoon

though it was jihoon’s last day, and you were sorry he had to spend his last day like that

you had to stop yourself 

though the club was playing upbeat music, all you could do was to stare into blank space

just then, some sleazy dude came up to you

“can i buy this pretty lady a drink?” he winked

“no thanks, im with someone else--”

“ey, that someone else can wait.”

“i really do have someone--”

“i said i will get you a drink alright?!” the man’s rogueish smile appeared, grabbing your wrist, “i know you’re here to do undercover duties, sergeant hwang--”

just then, a fist was sent flying to the man’s cheek, as he stumbled backwards

you saw an angry jihoon, his face was red with anger

“if you ever touch sergeant hwang again, you’ll end up in the hospital.” jihoon growled.

“wow, sergeant, i didn’t know you were into flowery pretty boys like--”

jihoon sent another punch across the man’s face, making him fall to the ground

you had to physically stop jihoon from hitting that sleazy dude, or it would’ve turned into a full fight

“jihoon-oppa,” you held his arm, which weakened at your touch, “let’s stop, minhyun wouldn’t be happy if he saw this.”

jihoon scoffed, putting the dude in handcuffs

“you’re under arrest for sexual harrassment, you have a right to remain silent, unless with witness that will support your innocence.”

after that dude was thrown into jail, jihoon immediately hugged you

“are you okay?” he then took a step back to analyse your frame, “he didn’t hurt you, right? i was so--”

you then cut jihoon off with a kiss, shutting him up effectively.

jihoon kissed you back with more assertion, to make up for the time he didn’t get to talk to you throughout the day

“what was that, y/n?” jihoon smiled, ruffling your hair

“don’t tell minhyun about this”

boyfriend!jihoon in the police station is super sweet, leaving you a sandwich for breakfast, then dragging you out for lunch

minhyun soon found out about it, “i knew the both of you had something going on”

and jihoon wasn’t the asshole you expected him to be

he only had eyes for you, and it was really endearing

the both of you would go on night walks, and then sitting on the swing set, talking about random things

overall, the sweetest crime-busting couple in Gangnam Police Station

“I don’t know how you became a police officer, your looks are illegal, you’re my illegirl”

lowkey stole that from dimple by bts sorry im lame i hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i liked writing this,,my request box is always open, so do send in requests!

[eve-of-halloween]

Aren't tweets full of hypocrisy hilarious? Don't you just love to hear your friends getting anon hate cause someones pissed he drew his Sona with a sign cause he's sick of being a rag who has to let people use him? Do t you live people stalking his blogs looking for the tiniest thing to claim he's dragging on drama? Just cause he's still hurt by what happened to him, a side of the story he has only fully told 4 people of what happened. The source of his hate and pain isn't from him.not forgiving YOU, it's what someone he once loved like a sibling did to him because of YOU. See he wanted to tell you that part of the story. A part none of you know because he will only say it one on one. He wanted closure with the person who did it. He can't get that so he wants nothing to do with you because he doesn't want to be reminded, because he doesn't want you to walk back into his life. You say you wanna leave cause he said to leave him alone cause of past drama? He brought it back up cause the person who went after him asked. And nannas sick of trying to explain it to you. The lot of us are done with the lot if ya. If you continue this further you are going to dig a hole you can't get out of. Cause at least nanna has the balls to admit when he was wrong and is trying now to change a part of him that YOU put there. If you leave him alone and stop ragging on him, he'll go back to pretending the lot of you don't exist. Cause he was happy and full of motivation. If he's a monster leave him alone you just made yourself look like a liar trying to walk back into his life when less than a month prior you blocked his friend saying you were scared of him cause his friend drew you fan art. You tell him he has to grow up. How bout the both of you grow up and pretend the other doesn't exist. You'll both be happier to be away from each other. Since you don't wanna hear why he feels this way and why he couldn't let go, and since he wants nothing to do with any of you for telling him his feelings don't matter. Then you two should just walk away from each other. Idk that just makes sense to me? But what do I know, I'm just the person who whitnessed only one of you was so destoryed by emotional and mental manipulation that they were put on 3 different medications simultaneously. You two clearly dont care for the other so walk away. Simple as that.

[tanzani-coil]

tagged bbys

Tagged by the wonderful @figment-fantasies​ <3

The Last: 1. Drink: coffee eyyy 2. Phone Call: my dad 3. Text message: my guy jakub bby 4. Song you listened to: sleepover by hayley kiyoko bc im trash 5. Time you cried: like. sometime last week when i was with quinn??? it might’ve been friday bc of a dumb outlander vs tumblr post i was just fuckin crying

Have You: 6. Dated someone twice: twice??? bitch i havent dated someone ONCE  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: haven’t had my first kiss yet!! <- same bby!!! 8. Been cheated on: No. they’d be dead if they did lmfao 9. Lost someone special: yah sucks bro 10. Been depressed: mate depressed is my entire personality 11: Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope not yet im hoping to get plastered w quinn one day List 3 Favorite Colors: 12. blue. like. baby blue or egg shell blue??? 13. black 14: white (my entire wardrobe is black n white monochromatic)

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends: @onelassieandherfandoms​ this asshole 16. Fallen out of love: nah like??? wasnt in love in the first place 17. Laughed until you cried: yES 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i mean. always 19. Met someone who changed you: i dont rly know??? i cant tell when i change 20. Found out who your friends are: eyyy yeah 21. Kissed someone on your FB list: gross

GENERAL: 22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: this is???? so specific????? i mean most of them i still have like. perhaps 10-20 online friends on there i havent met up with yet so 23. Do you have any pets: never had any </3 always wanted a cat and a doggo but. parents hates animals so i gotta wait till i move out 24. Do you want to change your name: yah, my birth name is like. rly feminine and long and pretentious n ive been going by my nickname for the last 6 years so much that my birth name isnt rly??? i dont rly associate it with myself 25. What did you do for your last birthday: went out for a meal with my fam. dont have enough friends to rly do anything else lmfao 26. What time did you wake up: i mean i woke up at about 9ish, went back to sleep, woke up at about 11 again, then was on and off sleeping until 12:30 when i got up 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: homework bc my teachers live off my pain 28. Name something you can’t wait for: seeing quinn again, new skuldug book, new season of outlander, 29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: today 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my insistence on self isolation lmfao 31. What are you listening to right now: my mom jenna marbles trying to get one (1) kill on pubg 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yah 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: art block!!!! good fucking god i havent drawn anything in like. two months. and then after that i cant remember the last time i drew anything for me because i wanted to and not for homework smh 34. Most visited website: this hellsite 35. Mole/s: got loads of em on the side of my face, but thats the side of my face that my hair/fringe covers up so??? could be worse i guess 36. Mark/s: birth mark on my right shoulder which i love a bit too much, a round patch of darker skin on my deltoid(?) where i got shot with a paintball and it’s left a scar, a scar from a shaving cut on my kneecap, and like. the unfairly over-abundance of stretchmarks on my EVERYWHERE 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a horse 38. Hair color: dirty blonde and blonde 39. Long or short hair: longish??? covers my nips at this point 40. Do you have a crush on someone?: uh 41. What do you like about yourself: uh?????? 42. Piercings: none, they freak me out??? but if i were to get any, it’d have to be a helix(?) piercing. i’d fancy like. a thick ring piercing if that makes sense 43. Blood type: do i look as if i know 44: Nicknames: george, but thats only if ur close to me 45. Relationship status: single and lonely as fuck lmfao but thats probably best, im just not built for relationships 46. Zodiac: sagittarius 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show(s): person of interest, orphan black, outlander, the 100, brooklyn nine nine, orange is the new black, rupauls drag race, 49. Tattoos: none yet, but i rly fancy “be brave” in EXACTLY the same font as the skulduggery books, on the inside of my right wrist 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: um>?? i mean not rly??  52. Hair dyed a different color: i haven’t yet, but i want like. a lighter blonde ombre??? bc my hair is lame as fuck and i want to do SOMETHING with it 53. Sports: omf no 54. Vacation: i went to majorca a couple of weeks back just as the heat wave fuckin hit (rip me) 55. Shoes: tesco converses or black boots 56. Eating: biscuis 57. Drinking: coffee, with water inbetween bc im thirsty as fuck 58. I’m about to: do :))))) homework :)))))) 59. Waiting for: school to start up again. if i have to do homework i wanna do it actually AT school bc i cant focus for shit at home, but i can get so much done with the school facilities so 60. Want: to see quinn again i miss her dumb face 61. Get married: i want to tbh but. not built for that sort of thing 62. Career: ahahahaha jesus fuck i have no fucking clue lets not go into this

WHICH IS BETTER: 63. Hugs or kisses: HUGS. I FUCKIN LIVE FOR HUGS 64. Lips or eyes: eyes 65. Shorter or taller: i mean???? depends on the person but typically taller 66. Older or younger: older 67. Nice arms or nice stomach: i????? 68. Sensitive or loud: man idk. both 69. Hook up or relationship: relationship bc im a sap 70. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant bc i have a crippling fear of authority

HAVE YOU EVER: 71. Kissed a stranger: nope 72. Drank hard liquor: nope 73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 74. Turned someone down: nope. i’d be so lucky lmfao 75. Sex on first date: bitch i’ve never been on a date let alone 76. Broken someone’s heart: nope 77. Had your heart broken: ahahahahahahahahahahaha 78. Been arrested: nope 79. Cried when someone died: yep 80. Fallen for a friend: ahaha  hahahah  hahahahahahahahahahaha

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 81. Yourself: well someone fuckin has to 82. Miracles: i mean??? i’d believe it if i saw it 83. Love at first sight: i believe that you can have an instant connection or chemistry with someone which would then lead to love, but like. love at first sight has only rly ever applied to pretty emaciated people so 84. Santa Claus: nope 85. Kiss on the first date: i mean?? nah

OTHER: 86. Current best friend: i have like. three friends?? all of which i’d consider my best friend i think 87. Eye color: blue but with like. yellow on the inside??? which. having googled is apparently called central heterochromia  88. Favorite movie: oooo. probably spirit stallion of the cimarron 

i mean. all the people i would’ve tagged I think @figment-fantasies tagged anyway so like. have fun folks