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celeluwhenfics · 5 months ago

Note

One of my absolute favorite parts of pHORSE c. 2 was the little trip through Rohan’s history, with quick, vivid flashes of the doings of Rohirrim royalty of old, particularly the (unnamed by Tolkien) queens and princesses. Is there any more that you’d like to share on that front? Like, perhaps someone who you ended up cutting out of those paragraphs, or someone who is in them but you’d like to elaborate on further? (My personal favorite are the wolf taming sisters, but I’d be excited to hear about anyone!)

Sorry for taking so long to answer this ask!!! But now that I’m about to release chapter 3, this is a good moment to say a little more about chapter 2. Now is a good time to catch up on pHORSE, folks!

The QUEENS! I’m glad you noticed this passage. Are you ready for a LONG, RAMBLING response?? It was partly inspired by a side bar discussion we had just as I was struggling with how to write on Rowena’s impressions as she entered Meduseld (I think that I will do another post on how I got myself out of that epic description block!). We agreed that the Rohirrim had many stories and memories pertaining to their queens, although at the time of LotR they hadn’t had a queen on the throne for nearly forty years.

I put two and two together, and opening my Appendix A at page 1068, I looked at what gaps could be filled with queens. It turns out, there are many, many gaps! I came up with the scraps of some stories that would have been passed down through songs, poems and legends, that Rowena would certainly remember as she saw the hall for the first time. Although the princes, kings and husbands mentioned are present in the Appendix, all of these ladies and their stories are completely invented, with the exception of Morwen Steelsheen.

For the record I do strongly subscribe to your idea you expressed in later discussions, that the Rohirrim had many songs about the women that had made their history, and that they told their children inspiring tales about the most remarkable shieldmaidens and ladies, but that none of it was recorded when foreign loremasters put Rohan’s history on paper, which is why so few Rohan ladies are mentioned in LotR and the appendixes.

Note that all of this was thought of, written and published BEFORE anyone had seen War of the Rohirrim, therefore the feeling of absence of female characters in the deep past of Rohan was perhaps more acute. Also, since we were waiting for the movie and I didn’t know how the material would be treated, I mostly skirted the subject of Helm Hammerhand’s family to avoid confusing everyone so close to the release.

So, here is a little more flesh around the ladies and queens that Rowena recalls from songs and recognizes in tapestries as she arrives in Meduseld!

‘She had heard, too, of the songs of queen Tréawyn the Wise, which could bring tears to the eyes of the most hardened warriors, and were said to have drawn birds of all feathers to nest and sing at the crown of the columns, as if the hewn trees had sprung to life again to the sound of her enchanting melismas.’

Does this sound like Tréawyn is a Disney princess? Well, I wouldn’t quite shy away from the image of an extraordinarily enchanting princess marrying the second son of Brego, Aldor. But I also see her as so much more, starting with her active talent of course, but also her attribute, “the Wise” (as opposed to that of her husband, Aldor “the Old”). And here, for the needs of the narrative, I was focusing on stories related to the hall itself, hence the legend about her making the columns spring back to life, but Tréawyn’s voice was famous for another feat entirely. There was much fighting in the East with the Dunlendings in the time of Aldor, and during a particularly distressing attack of a royal convoy, the three youngest children of Tréawyn, including little Fréa, were abducted and kept captive in a high mountain valley. Aldor prepared to attack their Dunlendings captors with a large force to free them, but Tréawyn wisely begged him not to attempt it, fearing for the safety of the children. Instead, she went alone, at night, and unarmed, asking to meet with their leaders. Then instead of pleading, or offering all the riches of the Mark in exchange for the life of the little princess and two tiny princes, she started improvising an exquisitely beautiful song. The Dunlendings sat transfixed. She sang and sang, about the love she had for her children, how precious they were to her, how unnatural and cruel it was to separate them from their mother, and appealing to their shared humanity. It is said that hearing their mother’s voice, the toddlers who had been crying and screaming curled up and slept despite the rough, cold cot where they were confined. The captors, who could not understand a word of Tréawyn’s singing, nonetheless were enchanted by her voice. At dawn, Tréawyn’s voice broke. In the silence that ensued, the Dunlendings fetched the children, broke the ropes that bound their feet, and put them in their mother’s arms. Without turning back, she carried them down into the valley, to the amazement of the armed men of her husband who were waiting there. (Orfeo in Rohan!) Although the little princes, including a future king, were saved on this occasion, what followed was a particularly sad and bloody episode of Rohan’s history. Tréawyn advocated for clemency towards the Dunlendings, who had proved their humanity and who had rights to a land of their own. She believed that they should have been treated justly, and that a peaceful understanding with their clans was possible. But Aldor showed no mercy, and he “drove out or subdued the last of the Dunlendish people that lingered east of Isen”, founding Rohirrim settlements in the valleys they formerly occupied. The spouses grew deeply divided over this question. Tréawyn effectively divorced Aldor and lived the rest of her days in Aldburg.

‘She had pictured the famed beauty of Lady Léofaen, daughter of Brytta King, dancing on the hall's dais in skirts of gold and green, laughing before her many suitors, until one of them, a humble shepherd blessed by Béma, offered her a horse like the wind, a sword like lighting, a shield like the full moon, and a kiss sweet like the first fruit of summer.’

This idea came to me from the French folk song Aux Marches du Palais. In this song, a beautiful lady is courted by many men, but she chooses a shoemaker. He tenderly promises her many things, which make less and less sense as it goes (or at least their sexual meaning is entirely lost to modern ears). But what’s interesting in this song is that the lady has agency: she makes an unlikely choice, and seems to maintain it although its outcome is unusual, certainly socially and perhaps sexually transgressive, and possibly tragic. I also drew some inspiration for the (French again) folk tale Peau d’Âne, where the princess asks for seemingly impossible gifts (three dresses, one Sun-coloured, one Moon-coloured, and one Time-coloured) to accept a marriage proposal. I think that we can now agree that Léofaen can be very pretty, being a granddaughter of hem hem Fréaláf Hildeson himself. But she doesn’t just look good, she gets to make a choice, and she gets a fancy shield and a sword! She makes a life of her own outside of her father’s hall which doesn’t involve marrying a lord, but rather agency, freedom and love with a man from a lower class.

There were probably some poetic embellishments for the sake of the song, but many wondered how an humble shepherd could have gained Béma’s favour and procured such extravagant gifts for the lady he wished to court! At the end of the Third Age, the true identity and factual basis for Léofaen’s mysterious lover had been entirely lost to time and imagination. But, girls still whispered, what if it had been Béma himself, under disguise, who had come to seduce her and run away with her on a horse like the wind? Weren’t they, golden-haired maiden of Eorl’s house, the most beautiful women in Middle-Earth? It only came to sense then, that a god would fall in love with one of them…

‘Her grandmother had sung of the twenty harpists and sixty fiddles that she had seen herself forming the suite of lady Morwen Steelsheen, and of the rich draperies that this queen would have displayed around the hall on days of festivities, when even the guards, pages and lackeys waiting on her wore bright silks and gold-embroidered liveries.’ Here I’m starting from the very simple idea that Morwen had a large and rich suite, but if we really think about it, an orchestra of twenty harps and sixty violins is bizarre at best. It is very likely that the grandmother’s memory or description of the orchestra is not entirely accurate. There were probably other different instruments that she didn’t recognize, possibly come with the queen from a Gondorian tradition, and she only calls them harps and fiddles because she doesn’t have a word for lutes, theorbos, viola da gamba, psaltery, dulcimer, tromba marina… (I mean, who could blame her?) But I really like to think that some of these instruments could have stayed and influenced later musical traditions in Rohan. Perhaps Morwen’s children, and some of her grandchildren, could have pursued her passion and very refined taste in music? If you know my Théo, you know where I’m going with this… I am NOT saying however that Gondor would have had better/fancier music than Rohan, on any account. I’m only thinking that sometimes the richest art happens when different traditions meet, mix or branch out, and Rohan could be where something special happens musically? Ok the musicologist in me just wants to put readers through a field day here, let me tell you. Borodred here I come! (Eventually.)

‘[On tapestries], there again, Gleyma and Gykka, sisters of Goldwinë King, taming the white wolves of the Firien Wood to herd the countless horses of the Emnet.‘ There at last, we arrive to your faves!!! Although there was relative peace during the reign of Goldwinë, it was not an idyllic time. Notably, one scorching summer, there was a devastating equine epidemic that decimated the herds of the Rohirrim. When winter came, very few horses remained that were fit to be ridden, and all of them were requisitioned for the king’s guard and some of the main éoreds. Women were discouraged to ride, as the precious horses were reserved for the most “valuable” riders. Gleyma and Gykka however were no princesses to sit on their hands and wait for the moment when enough new foals would have been born for them to be allowed to train new mounts for themselves. They went to spend the winter in the Firien Wood, where it was said that packs of notoriously clever white wolves roamed. Somehow they tamed them, and come spring, they led them over the Emnet to gather the herds of feral horses that had survived in the cooler hills. Later that summer, they and their wolves led three thousand healthy horses to the plains of the Fold. There were many songs sung about the face their kingly brother made when he saw them arriving! Needless to say, they were allowed to ride again. This story could explain the existence of an old “Wolf” clan in the East, where a wolf would have a positive association. The later doings of Wulf Fréca's son's would however bring confusion and some prejudice around the wolf imagery, as we will see in Chapter 3… Fun fact, Gleyma’s name comes directly from the verb “to forget” in Old Norse! I know that there’s no canonical link between Rohan and Old Norse culture, but… I needed a G name, it sounds cool and I find it VERY fitting for an unnamed lady of Rohan! Gykka just… sounds cool. Digression time!!! This idea came to me from one of the both stupidest and cleverest things I’ve probably ever done. As I’ve mentioned before (but never actually expanded upon), I worked one summer as a mounted shepherd in Iceland. It was completely hectic, many adventures and freak outs ensued. But one day, as I was pretty much alone at the farm, there was a storm brewing and I had to bring in 12 horses who were grazing on a large pasture. Usually, this would have been done by rounding them up on foot, as they understood the drill and knew the way to the stables. But that herd had just had the addition of two new members, including a VERY strong-willed gelding, and there was a war for leadership with the former strong man of the group. Therefore, instead of sticking together, the herd was acting like magnets repelling each other. On top of that, the ground was muddy, watery and uneven, impossible for me to run in, and the wind was howling so loud that my yells were getting lost. I tried so hard to lead these horses in, but there was no way it would work, and I was left in the middle of the pasture with 12 horses completely ignoring me and fighting amongst themselves. That’s when I thought: I know SOMEONE who can run in this and knows how to herd a non-cooperative group… I went in and took Grímur, the madly enthusiastic Border Collie. I looked at him, he looked at me, he understood. Five minutes later, the horses were safely in the barn. DON’T EVER DO THIS!!!! Dogs must never learn that they can herd the horses! They are there to herd the sheep! You don’t want a dog to start “herding” a horse as you are on the saddle! This is dangerous! If anyone had seen me that day I would have been crucified and left for the puffins to pick my bones clean. But… I was alone on the farm, the wind was howling, the horses were mad, and Grímur was there. And the wolves of Firien were there for Gykka and Gleyma.

‘Here was woven (…) queen Herumë the Brave rousing the courage of her late husband’s men before a last victorious stand against grimacing Dúnlendings’ This one is self-explanatory! Herumë would have been Walda’s wife. My goal when writing what would be Rowena’s references when thinking of the great ladies of the Mark was to include a diversity of stories. I wanted to include a shieldmaiden, but not ONLY shieldmaidens. And I wanted beautiful, artistically talented princesses, but not ONLY pretty princesses. As much as I did not want to represent a stereotype of passive femininity, I wished to avoid the opposite pitfall, which would have been to show that the only way for women to be remembered was to adopt the traditional qualities and activities of men. Women can be remarkable, strong, independent, clever, AND be women! And they deserve to be remembered as such.

#rohan #lotr fanfic #queens of rohan #answered asks #pHORSEuasion #Herumë #Gleyma #Gykka #Tréawyn #Morwen Steelsheen #Léofaen

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werezmastarbucks · 3 months ago

Text

the boy and the man

april june masterlist 9/18

word count: 2536

warnings: yoongi is damon coded i give up

i hit you and you hit me back we fall to the floor; the rest of the day stands still

Jungkook sometimes just didn't fucking understand. Sometimes he was just that way, he didn't get it. Working things out with him was impossible nine times out of ten, that's why, even before, you actually went to Yoongi oppa to resolve your problems. Jungkook couldn't decide, he refused to do it. The wedding venue was your choice, and the honeymoon destination was your choice; he made you choose your own engagement ring because he wasn't sure he'd buy the right one. Jungkook didn't have that confidence in himself to actually hear you when you said: I don't care. When you do it, it's always good enough for me.

You always ran to Yoongi to complain and ask for advice, in fact, from day one. When you just started dating, you were tuning to each other, and his older brother was a fine mediator between you. You saw him personally coach your boyfriend on how to court you.

"Yoongi hyung showed me this", Jungkook said two years ago. He grabbed you by the waist, flipped you around himself, and, a twist later, you were in his arms princess style.

"Said he's not athletic enough, but I could do it", he added with a wide grin. From day one, Yoongi was delegating to him.

You decided to dig into yourself and made a list with things you associated with them. With a pencil, on paper. After you were done, you tore it into pieces and threw away, but before, it said:

Jungkook:

summer, home, pizza, warm, took me to Brooklyn, fear, happy, TV, boyish, bed, two of us, three pillows, vows, safe, I am never worried when I am with him, heels, forever

Yoongi:

spring, botanic garden, floating on water, wounds, i need him because i am choking, studio, that time when i saw the ships, throat, koi fish, love, ice cream cone, husband, music, farming, smiling, my friend

It wasn't a pros and cons list, just words that scattered out of you. Some of them terrified you, but mainly, you realized, that they were your two eyes: one, perfect, beautiful and compliant. And the other: hooded, keeping you cursing, working, for hours.

Yoongi knew his place. He knew the moments he had with you were on lease. Flowers, dates, waking up together, seeing the world together, marrying, chatting in the kitchen at night, falling asleep to a movie; having you on his lap while he was writing music, with other people in the room - it was all Jungkook's. He was reduced to sex and he gave it to you as best as he could. There was nothing else he could do, for every time you came to him for conversation, no matter what you said, he was reminded that he was an appendix. Whatever you, or he, wanted. Those were the circumstances. If he allowed himself to want more, he would snap and ruin it.

Extrapolating his presence, he was also the protector. Protecting you from the sadness Jungkook sometimes gave you, with his breezy overzealous persona, and from writing blocks. Protecting the boy, because Yoongi still had maknae's sixteenth birthday picture, somewhere. It's like someone assigned him to defend, and he had no idea whose decision it was, and sometimes wanted to object it. But there was nobody else, it seemed. Namjoon was the diplomatic leader, keeping up the image. Hoseok was the strict dance coach, depressed the whole time when he wasn't at the studio. Tae was the wild card, too soft inside. The others... Yoongi was the guard dog with rabid saliva dripping from his fangs. Once he started getting into it, ruining his own reputation turned out to be easy, and also... quite fun at times?

He tilted his head to his shoulder to see the screen better. He was sitting, his feet crossed, on the floor, waiting for the manager. News were turned down to a barely audible minimum as he was thinking. A beat almost formed in his head, he could feel his working worms in the brain labouring, labouring and giving birth to a sound. He stood and stretched his back to step away into the sound room, but was cut short by Jungkook and Taehuyng the twins, who barged inside. End of silence with these two. He braced himself with his old man shaky sigh, but thankfully, Jungkook collected himself and didn't jump on him like a five year old.

"Yoongi, you shouldn't have done it!" he cried. Tae looked like he just witnessed a public execution.

"They want your head", he added cautiously. Yoongi said,

"I know, Bang called me. He'll be here in an hour, so you better fuck off before that".

Jungkook's hand flew up and rubbed his neck violently.

"Yoongi hyung".

"You asked me not to call you a baby?" Yoongi reminded him softly, "Don't act like one".

Jungkook bowed his head slightly.

"Thank you".

"It's nothing".

Tae's eyes grew bigger.

"Porn on Insta is nothing? They will gut you".

"They can't gut me", he replied, "they have tried before. Don't worry about it. What's The Boss gonna do? Kick me out of the band?" his smirk went straight into his eyes.

Bang had tried that several years ago. He said, you're out of BTS. An hour later, CEO had six resignation letters in his mail. They were all ready to kiss their apartments goodbye.

There was nothing to be angry about. Dispatch was out for blood this year. Scandals, one on top of another. They hovered above them like bats, sniffing for the faintest scent of shit. When Taehyung and Hyori and Jungkook with Y/N went on a regular Friday double date, they took a picture of Jungkook kissing you on the mouth outside of the restaurant. A contract has been broken, for one. Yoongi posted a selfie of himself on his long-abandoned profile, with porn on the screen of his laptop on the background. The kissing picture drowned into obscurity. Usually one didn't cancel out the other, but he was good at timing. By the time the wave turned, their PR was already banging on the doors of Dispatch, axes in hands. Yoongi was the sacrifice.

"Don't you get tired of it?" Tae asked him, his arm around Yoongi's shoulder. "Always being the scapegoat?"

"I get tired of my maknae line", he responded, lopsided grin pulling his lips, "all the time".

He hadn't seen you in weeks which happened from time to time, when you were considering things.

Yoongi didn't force himself upon you, just existed on the curb, waiting for your call. Sometimes he'd reach out to ask how you've been and listen to you whining about Jungkook's behavior. He craved to hold you, his desires going from the usual, to, gradually, the minimum: he just wished to hold you to himself for six seconds, isn't that little? You gave him a bad habit of wanting to touch you again and again, now, that he knew how good it was.

However, he knew his place. Jungkook, surprisingly, showed him. You were scared he was 'dying' which prompted late night calls from the bathroom when you cried into the phone. Yoongi knew Jungkook wasn't dying. He wasn't shot or stabbed. He was growing.

Yoongi hadn't noticed when the line got completely crossed. But maknae walked up to him in April and said,

"Don't call her at night. She can't fall asleep after".

Yoongi then watched his broad back with a sense of admiration before anything else, unable to hold back a chortle. The boy turned into a man. And he drew the limits in red. It was finally turning into something Yoongi could tolerate with a smile.

Why did he keep sharing you, though, - that's what hyung couldn't understand. It couldn't just be that guilty feeling.

You moved your hand across your belly to feel the fabric of the dress. Makeup felt heavy on your eyelids, you tried to blink it away. During occasions like this, you held onto one or several of the boys usually, if you could not directly approach Jungkook and be with him, due to paparazzi presence, for example. But now you had Hyori to keep you company. You held your heads together and discussed your husbands from a distance, complaining about the absurdity. At events where you couldn't hold his hand, you'd prefer to not be present at all. Staying at home and doing stuff seemed much more productive. But sometimes Jungkook wanted you for the short, seven minute break when he could hold you. And then off for the rest of the evening. He and Tae had Mr Lee watching over you two to avoid advances and unwanted attention, but there was yet another trick: Mr Lee couldn't be seen together with you, either.

"What is happening with my earring?" Hyori asked, and you put your champagne glass on the table to look. Your fingers grabbed the golden lock creafully.

"Your hair got in between", you clicked it open and untangled it, then pushed it into Hyori's ear. Somebody lightly tapped you on your shoulder, and your eyes darted to the side, searching for Mr Lee. He was leaving the room, closing the chain after Namjoon. It was the time for the photo op, and he had to make sure the cameramen wouldn't bite the boys on the faces.

The man standing next to you made Hyori acquire her hostile face; maybe she knew him. You had no idea who he was. Hyori's hand wanted to reach for you protectively. You caught the air of worry around her. She was looking out for you. But the man had no problem inserting himself between you two, and her concerned face was soon obscured by his shoulder. She wasn't the type of person to rudely shake someone off. You were. But you weren't alarmed just yet.

"Excuse me, my name is Park Taesik. I have a question for you".

You searched him with your eyes and noted the phone in his hand, upside down.

"Dispatch?" you guessed. He looked incredibly smug. He looked like someone who's never been told to shove his phone into his ass, someone who wasn't afraid of hurting young girls. His little eyes with blue-colored lenses bored into you with the expression of superiority. To him, you were meat.

"Who has a bigger dick, Jungkook or Suga?"

You chuckled, more out of unexpected nature of this question. Hyori was trying to cirlce him with panic on her face.

"How am I to know?" you responded, feeling the anger rise in you.

"Well, you are the prostitute they are both using, right? They like exotic girls?"

"Excuse me!" Hyori tapped his shoulder in shrill voice. Park Taesik pushed you against the table, cutting your way out with his body. You didn't want to risk drawing attention to yourself, otherwise your fist would be flying into his face right away.

"Who told you they like girls? As far as I am concerned, Suga posted gay porn on Instagram a week ago", you purred. Park Taesik couldn't grab onto that straw. People have been shipping Jungkook with every member of Bangtan and their mother for the last fourteen years.

"Will you fuck off? Or will you go on staring at me, old pig?" you demanded. Park Taesik continued to smile.

"You will be old in no time with the amount of cum you take on a daily basis", he nodded courtly, and with that, bowed politely and stepped away.

What you didn't notice from the very beginning was Bang's cowardly nature. He cut off Yoongi for his Instagram shenanigans. He banned him from today's photo op to calm down the masses who didn't want to see his face. So, the cerberus stayed in the room, having his quiet fun, happy that he was spared. You caught his eye from across space, in between people's bodies. He was looking with his eyelids half-drawn. Then followed the Dispatch correspondent with his gaze and started to move.

Yoongi saw this whole evening as a blessing. No pictures, no forced smiling, no questions. He got to drink alone and look at you from afar. It was especially amusing because you didn't see him, blending in with the crowd of waiters in their black uniforms. His natural caveman pull instructed him to follow the round head. He had seen him before and even remembered the last name: Park. Made a piece on him just last week. Immoral, out of control, renegade Suga jerking off to gay porn in his studio. Basically he was Yoongi's employee. Now he didn't know what exactly the man had told you, and he didn't care. It couldn't be anything good. He looked at you as you recovered your champagne glass from the table, your frame elegant, fragile in the tight satin dress, but movements, bandit-like as ever. Like an Ulsan doll. Like a driad he would come across if he ventured into the garden of heaven, that would swing a bat at him. You threw back your head, opening up your neck, cloud-pink diamond flickering around your throat. Gookie's present for Christmas. Then you caught his eye, and he felt soft. Then, hard again, his body feeling happy. His feet carried him after Park.

As he was closing in, he couldn't still believe today's luck: the heavens must finally have sorted out their papers and found his name under 'martyrs'. Park took on the left to the bathrooms, and Yoongi followed. He already knew there wouldn't be anybody there, because it was his night, and because everybody was busy on the red carpet. And all the abandoned girlfriends and wives, killing time in the ball room, didn't go to the mens restroom.

He entered the toilet after Park and watched him turn his head towards the sound of his step. Watched his eyes light up in greedy, bloodthirsty expression. But Yoongi's thirst was stronger tonight. As he crashed his fist on his nose. The blood splattered up and onto his black shirt. Invisible. Park collapsed with one blow, but Agust D wasn't finished yet. His hand grabbed the reporter's collar and lifted his body up.

"Do you want an interview?" he murmured, feeling his face pull to the sides with a smile.

"How are you going to take it without teeth?"

He threw his fist forwards, three more times, crushing Park's jaws. They would do nothing to him. Nothing, for a Dispatch reporter. Nobody could hurt Yoongi more than Yoongi.

You pushed the door and ran inside the toilet, knowing that the picture you're seeing came straight from a music video. Yoongi was finished. He let go of Park, determined and relaxed like a reaper, and equally black. His right fist was bloody. With his clean hand, he pushed his hair off his face and looked at you shortly, then stepped to the sink and turned the water on.

You exhaled through your mouth and managed to glance at the bloody mess in the floor. Yoongi was looking at himself in the mirror, checking for more blood.

"How are we going to explain this?" you asked.

He pursed his lips together and shrugged. Then took off his jacket and stepped to you. He put his jacket around you and with calm hands, the right fist still red from hitting, buttoned it up.

Yoongi wrapped his arms around you and held you to himself, for seven seconds. If someone asked him about a perfect evening, he'd tell about this one.

#yoongi x reader #jungkook x reader #yoongi imagine #jungkook imagine

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shadowgast-recs-weekly · 1 year ago

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EPISTOLARY: A Shadowgast Rec List

This week, we have fics that feature an epistolary format! Check under the cut for 9 fics that are told through the format of letters, and don't forget to comment and kudos if you like them!

you're the one to change your story by idontreallylikebutterflies (4009, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek sends a letter apologising the Mighty Nein. He and Caleb start exchanging letters.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Another Time, Another Place by Operafloozy (9780, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek Thelyss figured out a way to travel through time and bend reality to his will. Bren Ermendrud, Volstrucker for the Dwendalian Empire, acquired the Shadowhand’s notes, and led history in a different direction.

Reccer says: A very fun read, a lot of really good world building!

To Have Owned the Sun by Dragonslaeyr (59213, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb Widogast goes to Rumblecusp to finally meet Essek Thelyss, who has been his correspondent for years. There's only one problem: no one on the island has heard of Essek.

Reccer says: It's an extremely atmospheric mystery with a wonderful supporting cast - the snippets of correspondence only make it better.

gods upturning inkpots by essektheylyss (divinationwizard) (6833, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek start exchanging letters, without acknowledging them out loud.

Reccer says: The PINING in these wizards, from small notes in Aeor to full blown (love) letters at Caleb’s home, still never talking of it. And Beau was amazing at the end

The Care and Keeping of a Human Lover by Essek Thelyss by measuringtheabyss (2159, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death

Essek discusses the best practices, difficult moments, and interesting hurdles involved in dating someone of a shorter lifespan, using his personal experience with his anonymous human lover, "Caleb".

Reccer says: This will make you cry (positive)

Love Letters to Toss Into the Fire by Anonymous (59420, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek and Caleb exchange letters over a longer period of time and try to figure out what they are to each other.

Reccer says: It's so creative! It's such a interesting take how Essek and Caleb write letter with the help of magic.

As per my last email by LivThael (11651, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek Thelyss is an asshole with a questionable taste in spreadsheets. Caleb Widogast has more important and certainly more interesting things to do than filing travel expense claims. A series of mails turns into a escalating meeting.

Reccer says: I liked it!

A tale as old as time: A historical analysis of Jester Lavorre’s romance novel ‘Delights and Delusions’ by LivThael (17063, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes, Arranged marriage

An appendix of a research paper with love letters between Essek and Caleb.

Reccer says: I love these types of experimental fics and the author has done an amazing job! With academics looking at the past and seeing glimpses of Essek and Caleb’s lives, the gossipy newspapers and the implied story between the letters

As per my last email by LivThael (11651, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Reccer says: I liked it!

The following fic received three recs!

the hole in the stone by MinnesotaBruja (13243, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Pet Death

Shortly post-Cognouza, Essek takes a position as a lighthouse keeper on a remote island north of Eiselcross. These are his letters to Caleb.

Reccer 1 says: I liked it! Reccer 2 says: A absolutely lovely use of the medium. It's fascinating learning the world through Essek's eyes using only what he would willingly admit to Caleb Reccer 3 says: Incredibly moving, this fic changed me

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with Series!

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #critical role #cr fic recs #fan fiction rec list #critical role fan fiction #aeor is for lovers #cr fic #cr fics #epistolary

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swamp-world · 9 months ago

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Reading Post of Shame

shamelessly stealing the format and motivation from @batmanisagatewaydrug because i need to be publicly shamed into finishing the books I have started.

we've got on the list, in order,

Leviathan by Hobbes (Books I and II)—I am nearly done these ones!

The Prince by Machiavelli—this will be a short read once I actually sit down to it again

Non-Places by Marc Auge—I'm halfway through the second essay in it and I really need to read this one for a paper

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas—I've spent literally three years debating whether I am actually going to finish this book or not but I think I'm just going to bite the bullet, it haunts me. I'm over halfway through, it's just so slow

Notes on Suicide by Simon Critchley—I've technically finished the eponymous essay but the appendix is Aquinas on the same subject and I haven't finished that because I Don't Like Reading Aquinas.

Where are Your Boys Tonight?: The Oral History of Emo's Mainstream Explosion 1999-2008 by Chris Payne—again, I started it ages ago but now that I'm slowly working my way back down the music chain of history I'm going to need to sit with this to figure out how the pop punk/post-hardcore/nu metal scene became "emo" when there's no clear connection to like. what "emo" actually was as a scene. so i am curious about that. barely started but enough that i need to finish.

Mama Namibia by Mari Serebrov—I should actually put this one up higher but I must admit that I'm dreading it a bit, it seems well-written but it's very dense and it's been ages. so. but i must complete it.

Intoxicated by my Illness and Other Writings on Life and Death by Anatole Broyard—I only have two more essays to go in this out of I think a total of six?

The Writer of Modern Life by Walter Benjamin—my little guy. I'm two essays into this one and it's not urgent anymore but I really want to read it.

Towards a Rational Society by Habermas—in which I put him down here out of spite because I really don't want to read it but I have to.

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer—picked my reread of it back up after a friend has started reading it and been updating me as they go. I want this one to be higher but it is unfortunately having to take a backseat to Hobbes and Machiavelli which I hate both practically and symbolically.

The Right to Sex by Amia Srinivasan—not sure how I'm feeling about this one so far, it seems like it's pretty good but a bit Sexual Politics 101 so far so I'm not sure if I'll keep with it but I'll make up my mind either way.

Fundamental Feminisms by Judith Grant—this one's a thesis one that i've started but not continued/finished so I really need to bump that up

Papers for 4001

Papers for 3535

Papers for 4002

ok get shaming! i will update it as I go!

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superlinguo · 2 years ago

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10 years of a PhD

August 2023 marks ten years since I was awarded a PhD in Linguistics. I submitted the thesis for examination in February 2013, it was examined by around May, and the final version with corrections done by some time in the middle of the year. August is when I dressed up and the degree was conferred, so that's the date on the testamur that now hangs in my office. The weirdest thing about this decade is that it means I've spent longer having a PhD than doing something that was such an important time in my life. My work has continued to grow from, but still draw on, my thesis research. I have been working with speakers of Syuba as well as Lamjung Yolmo, to continue to document this language family. I've moved from a focus on evidentiality to look at reported speech, discourse and gesture. These all still require an approach that looks at both grammatical structures and how people use them, directly continuing the kind of approach I took in my PhD. I'm particularly proud of the gesture work, as this is a return to an older interest. I didn't publish my PhD as a single monograph, but turned it into a number of revised and refined papers. I publishing the descriptive grammar as a book, which was an expanded version of a slightly absurd 30k word appendix to the thesis. Below is a list of those publications, as you can see it took me quite a few years to find homes for all of this work. I've also been lucky to take my research in other directions too; my gesture work has expanded into emoji and emblems, and I've also been writing about the data management and lingcomm work I've been doing. This work has increasingly been happening with collaborators, I love how much better work becomes when people talk each other into do their best thinking. I know I'm very fortunate to still be researching and teaching a decade after graduating, and that I have an ongoing job that lets me plan for the next decade. The thesis work informed a lot of my research, but these are the publications taken directly from the thesis:

Gawne, L. 2016. A sketch grammar of Lamjung Yolmo. Asia-Pacific Linguistics. [PDF] [blog summary]

Gawne, L. Looks like a duck, quacks like a hand: Tools for eliciting evidential and epistemic distinctions, with examples from Lamjung Yolmo (Tibetic, Nepal). 2020. Folia Linguistica, 54(2): 343-369. [Open access version][published version][blog summary]

Gawne, L. Questions and answers in Lamjung Yolmo Questions and answers in Lamjung Yolmo. 2016. Journal of Pragmatics 101: 31-53. [abstract] [blog summary]

Gawne, L. 2015. The reported speech evidential particle in Lamjung Yolmo. Linguistics of the Tibeto-Burman Area, 38(2): 292-318. [abstract][pre-publication PDF]

Evidentiality in Lamjung Yolmo. 2014. Journal of the South East Asian Linguistics Society, 7: 76-96. [Open Access PDF]

A list of all publications is available on my website: https://laurengawne.com/publications/

#language #linguistics #PhD #thesis #research

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fioreofthemarch · 2 years ago

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Finding Her - Chapter 18

Link makes notes, takes photos and keeps time on his quest across Hyrule, in the hopes of finding Zelda and staying sane until he does. [ Previous | Next | First | AO3 ]

Warning: The Purah Pad has exceeded maximum operational vertical speed. The Purah Pad is not rated for a descent rate of more than 3000 feet per minute.

<< HARD STOP DETECTED >>

<< EMERGENCY LOCKDOWN INITIATED >>

Would you like to continue operating the Purah Pad?

> Yes

Please enter extreme conditions authorisation code Core functions shutdown in 13… 12… 11…

> LINK

Incorrect code. Core functions shutdown in 9… 8… 7…

> I HAVE TAKEN THE PURAH PAD FROM THE HERO ALLOW ME TO USE IT

Incorrect code.Core functions shutdown in 5… 4… 3…

> INFERNAL DEVICE DO AS I SAY!

Incorrect code. The Purah Pad has entered an emergency lockdown. Next passcode attempt in: 999 minutes

---

Log date: 12:05 9th month, 12th day 104AC Location: Lookout Landing Weather: Cloudy

The Hero of Hyrule is famous for his bravery and his strength, but even he sometimes has a bad week. This morning, the swordsman Link arrived on our doorstep looking worse for wear. His hair was muddied, his clothes were torn, and he was covered in cuts and bruises. We had not heard from him for nine days. In this report, I, Josha (Head of Depths Research) will piece together what we know about Link’s disappearance.

The Purah Pad logs show that nine days ago, it was dropped from a significant height. This is because an overspeed warning was triggered, followed by an emergency lockdown approximately ten minutes later. Additionally, the last log entry is partly corrupted and overwritten in code. This may occur when the save function is interrupted. Finally, anecdotal evidence supports this theory. When Link arrived at Lookout Landing, he handed the Purah Pad to Dr. Purah and said, “Might have dropped it”. Taken together, it is clear the Purah Pad fell a significant distance, however where it was dropped was a mystery - until now.

A series of notes found in Link’s inventory may provide clues to his whereabouts for the past nine days. These notes are short and each ends with the words ‘Glory to Master Kohga’. The paper the notes are written on is marked with a red, upside down Sheikah eye. This indicates that the authors of these notes are none other than the Yiga, who moved to the Depths of Hyrule four years ago, after the defeat of Master Kohga by Link. Therefore, the only place Link could have collected these notes would be the Depths themselves.

The notes have been scanned using this Purah Pad, which belongs to Link. This is because I am, apparently, not yet old enough to have one of my own. The Yiga appear to have taken the Purah Pad from Link, and write in the notes that he is following them. Therefore, we theorise that the Purah Pad was dropped into a chasm where it was stolen by the Yiga, and then was retrieved by Link at a later point. My next report will attempt to reconstruct how Link was able to escape and return to us.

A photograph of Mineru, the Zonai Construct, helping one of the residents of Lookout Landing repair the roof of his mini-stable.

Caption: This construct is also here. It arrived about a day before Link returned. I must go introduce myself!

---

Appendix A: Salvaged Yiga Notes 1-4 of 8.

Yiga Note 1 A day for the history books! The Purah Pad has been won from the villain, Link. Our scouts on the perimeter reported seeing him fall through the nearby Naydra Chasm. They say he appeared to be reaching out for something as he fell.

Unfortunately for him he fell into a frox den. While he was dealing with that, we pounced. At last, the Sheikah technology that was kept from us for millennia is ours!

We are using our network to transport the Purah Pad north, to the Abandoned Lanayru Mine, so that our Master can unlock it… and its secrets.

Glory to Master Kohga.

Yiga Note 2 The Purah Pad has been delivered to the Ploymus Canyon Hideout. Tomorrow, four of our field agents will take it north-west to our Master.

Now we turn our attention to the hunt. There is a situation unfolding that must be dealt with.

The Hero has been spotted on our trail. Each time we think we have lost him, he finds us again. We are unable to remain in the shadows. He keeps activating those damned light roots…

We will find him and stop him in his tracks.

Glory to Master Kohga.

Yiga Note 3 Finally, shelter. We have not slept in days, but we cannot stop moving. Link gains on us with each passing hour. He wants that useless Sheikah device back, clearly. If only we could get it to work…

There are whispers that our hideouts have begun to go dark. Each one that we pass through cuts off all communication within a day. We have also heard reports of a blaze, a large one. But surely, one Hylian could not do that much damage.

The others are getting worried, but not me.

Glory to Master Kohga.

Yiga Note 4 To any Yiga who finds this note. Do not engage the Hero under any circumstances.

Shortly after we delivered the Purah Pad to Master Kohga, the Hero arrived to exact his revenge. The weapon he carried shone as bright and terrible as the midday sky. How he survived this long in the Depths is beyond me.

Praise Ganon - we managed to hold onto the Purah Pad, and our Master survived the encounter. We have taken him to a secret location in Hebra, far from Link’s reach. Without the Purah Pad, he will be trapped in this part of the Depths.

Or so we hope.

Glory to Master Kohga.

---

Log date: 17:45 9th month, 12th day 104AC Location: Lookout Landing Weather: Light rain

In stories told of heroes, it is said that their chief goal is victory in battle. However for real people, victory doesn’t always get them what they want. The swordsman Link is still recovering. He has a fever from an untreated cut, but Lady Jerrin is looking after him. In this report, I will… well, I was planning to write about Link’s escape from the Depths, but now I’m not sure.

The final four Yiga notes tell a simple story. Link tracked down the Purah Pad and went in search of Master Kohga. Except it’s not clear if Link defeated him. It’s really important that we find out. Master Kohga is our oldest enemy, except for maybe Ganon himself. But no one in Lookout Landing is talking about it. They’re not even talking about the Demon King anymore. So I went to visit Link to find out what happened.

He was only half awake and seemed whoozy. I said, Hi swordsman, it’s Josha. Sorry you were stuck down in the Depths so long. I wasn’t sure if he heard. He was mumbling to himself but the only words I could make out were: gone, gone, gone. I said yes, Master Kohga is gone, right? Then he had a moment of clarity. It was scary. He looked me in the eye and said, “Who cares about Kohga?”

I don’t know. I care. Someone should. Kohga tormented my people for over a century. And the Yiga have rebelled against Hyrule for even longer than that. Shouldn’t we care? But something else is going on, isn’t it? Something that a kid isn’t going to get told about.

I’ve attached the final Yiga notes to this log, whoever reads this can look at them if they want, I guess. Link definitely gave the Yiga a hard time when he was down there. I wish I could have helped.

A photograph of Mineru, the Zonai Construct, being doted on by Slergo and Offrak, two Goron children. One child is swinging off of one of her arms, while another has climbed onto her back. Whether the construct is enjoying this, or is merely tolerating it, is not possible to determine.

Caption: Her name is Mineru. I really should introduce myself. Maybe later.

---

Appendix B: Salvaged Yiga Notes 5-8 of 8.

Yiga Note 5 To all Yiga, living or dead. Remember me?

Tell your Master: I will find where he is hiding. Even if I have to search every single one of your little outposts.

It’s been less than a week but I’ve sacked more of them than I care to remember. At least more than than I can count on both hands, since you stole my only other way of taking notes.

You think I’m trapped down here with you. No. You’re trapped down here with me. And I’m not leaving without my Purah Pad.

Glory to Master Kohga. However much he has left.

Yiga Note 6 Terrible news. We have lost the Purah Pad. It pains me to write of this failure.

It was Master Kohga’s decree that we keep the Purah Pad moving through our network, rather than hold it in one place. That way, we would reduce the chance of Link finding it… but that didn’t stop him.

He tracked us to the Elma Knolls hideout. We threw everything we had at him. Every Zonai contraption he neutralised, every footsoldier he struck down. Then our hideout was on fire. I don’t even know how he started it.

In the panic, the idiot Battlemaster in charge of the Purah Pad dropped it! That was all it took. Link snatched it back, unlocked it (something even Master Kohga could not do!) and teleported away.

He was gone in an instant, to Ganon knows where.

So much for our victory.

Glory to Master Kohga.

Yiga Note 7 I hate to admit it, but we are getting nervous.

It has been two days since anyone in our network has sighted the menace, Link.

Our agents above ground have not seen him. None in the Depths have been able to recover anything. Link and the Purah Pad have vanished.

Reports indicate that our leader is safe and sound, but with no news of Link, we must take precautions.

We have dispatched scouts to Hebra, just to make sure.

Glory to Master Kohga.

Yiga note 8 ALL AGENTS BE ADVISED: THIS IS AN URGENT CIRCULAR.

Any agents in Hebra must immediately report if they have seen Link, otherwise known as the Hero of Hyrule, the Princess’ Appointed Knight, or other alias such as ‘the demon’, ‘the villain’ and ‘the blond menace’

Contact has been lost with the Abandoned Hebra Mine Hideout. REPEAT: contact has been lost with the Abandoned Hebra Mine Hideout. This was Master Kohga’s last known location and was the site of top secret research and development.

Contact your local hideout if you have any and all leads. Do so as soon as possible or the worst may come to pass.

Glory to Master Kohga.

---

Log date: 10:00 9th month, 13th day 104AC Location: Lookout Landing Weather: Cloud clearing.

I went to see Link again. He was awake and sitting up in one of the beds in the Emergency Shelter. Jerrin says his fever has passed, which is good. He didn’t even remember me visiting yesterday and apologised if he said anything weird. I lied and told him he didn’t.

Since he was feeling better, I asked him again what happened to Master Kohga. Link explained to me that he survived for nine days in the Depths on nothing but mushrooms and moss, with no gear except his clothes and the Master Sword on his back. Eventually, he fought Master Kohga in an abandoned mine below Hebra. Kohga tried to use a big Zonai construct, like Mineru, but it didn’t work, and now he’s gone. I don’t know if Link means he’s dead or something. He just said that Kohga won’t be troubling us anymore.

Great news, right? Link didn’t seem that excited. He just said, “Is it?” I answered that I thought it was. “But I feel nothing,” he said. And then he started crying. Like, crying crying.

I was dumbstruck. Ever since the whole Upheaval thing, you’d think more people would be crying, but everyone’s been soldiering on. I thought, what did my parents do, the last time I was really upset? All I could remember was my mother putting her arms around me, so that’s what I did. I put my arm around Link’s shoulder and hugged him tight. I thought maybe you just have to squeeze the tears out of a person until they feel better. But…

She’s gone, he kept saying. She’s gone. I asked who he meant, was it Zelda? That did NOT help. He cried harder, but with no sounds now, just tears and shakes. So we sat there for a long time, until Jerrin noticed what was happening and chased me away, telling me to let Link sleep.

So now I’m here, outside the shelter, feeling useless and very sad, and not really knowing why. It sucks. This whole situation just kind of sucks. I don’t know what to do… but maybe it’ll come to me later.

A photograph of Mineru, sitting on the steps leading to Josha’s research station on Lookout Landing. She is looking directly at the camera, and is waving.

Caption: Oh shoot. I think she noticed.

---

Incoming message… [MINERU (UNKNOWN)] Processing…

Connection established.

10:15 MIN| Hello there, Josha. My name is Mineru.

10:15 JSH|Hello. Sorry about the photo.

10:15 MIN| Do not worry. It is flattering.

10:15 JSH| I see. Did you want to talk?

10:16 MIN| I prefer using the Purah Pad. Sending messages via text is simpler.

10:16 JSH| Quieter too, I guess.

10:16 MIN| Yes. Everyone is nervous about Link. I thought it better to stay discreet.

10:16 JSH| Yeah. Hey one moment, I’ll join you.

10:16 MIN| Be my guest.

10:19 MIN| Is it not a pleasant view from these stairs? You can watch everyone in Lookout Landing go about their day.

10:19 JSH| I’m usually focused on my research. Not that it’s helped much lately.

10:19 MIN| I understand the feeling. I was once much the same.

10:19 JSH| You were a researcher?

10:19 MIN| Many years ago. Zelda and I shared this interest. Did you know her?

10:21 JSH| Oh, not personally. I grew up hearing about her, everyone did. It helped knowing the Princess was once like me. I might have been a weirdo book nerd, but I could be a scholar, just like Zelda. She’s the reason I’m a researcher.

10:24 JSH| I wish someone would tell me what happened to her. I asked Link but he got pretty upset about it. So stupid…

10:24 MIN| Your actions were not stupid. Curiosity is natural.

10:24 JSH| You should have heard him. It was like Zelda had died. But that can’t be it, can it?

10:25 MIN| Your elders have forbidden me from telling you much but… Princess Zelda indeed still lives. Unfortunately, it is no longer in a way that she can share with us.

10:26 JSH| That’s terrible. Poor Princess… I wish I could help somehow. Link survived the Depths fine on his own, so my research was all for nothing.

10:26 MIN| Your presence was not ‘all for nothing’. You were there for him. You helped him through that dark and terrible moment.

10:27 JSH| I made him cry.

10:27 MIN| Not all tears are bad. Often they are the first step on a long journey of acceptance and peace.

10:29 JSH| I suppose when you put it like that. Mineru, is Zelda really gone?

10:29 MIN| I do not know. Time will tell. But we honour her memory by protecting her beloved Hyrule. Speaking of, it’s time we recalled the Sages to Lookout Landing. They each have a message medallion, but someone has to make the calls. Someone with a voice.

10:30 JSH| Do you mean…me…? Well, say no more! Josha, Head Assistant to the Five Sages of Hyrule, at your service!

10:30 MIN| It is very much appreciated, Josha. When you are ready, we can get to work.

Connection terminated.

#totk #tears of the kingdom #tloz #zelink #tloz fanfic #link #josha #shes doing her best but shes like 14 at MOST and the horrors are unfolding all around her #im also obsessed with this photo its like shes presenting at her local science fair

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whumpster-fire · 2 years ago

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25 Exciting Phrases to Spice Up Your Next Business e-Mail

1: "Dear Motherfucker,"

2: "To whom it may concern, as well as the entire company directory who I am cc'ing because none of you care about my time so I don't care about yours,"

3: If you'd like to know why I am sending this e-mail, please consider reading it for fucking once."

4: "If I do not see conclusive evidence of your head being out of your ass in the next 3-5 business days, I will remove it from your shoulders."

5: "Please attach a current headshot and resume: the latter so I can laugh at your alleged qualifications, the former so I can print it out and put it on a dartboard as advised by HR's Anger Management Seminar"

6: "Due to the considerable destructive forces at my command,"

7: "Cc'ing The Pope on this one to keep him in the loop since the magnitude of this clusterfuck is nothing short of Biblical,"

8: "This is the fourth e-mail I have sent asking you to do your goddamn job. The fifth will be attached to a brick hurled through your office window. You do not want to know what the sixth will be, so get your shit together ASAP please."

9: "Please keep in mind that refraining from inappropriate use of the Reply All button is the only thing separating us from descending into complete Lord Of the Flies anarchy."

10: "All, please review the selection of Dilbert cartoons attached below and reflect on how they might be relevant to the current situation and your role in it."

11: "The Carpool Committee has unanimously voted to play exclusively Alvin And the Chipmunks songs in any vehicle you are a passenger in for a month the next time you schedule a mandatory meeting before 8 AM."

12: "The potted Ficus tree by the 4th Floor break room will be taking the lead on this project from this point on since it is more qualified than any of you."

13: "I didn't think I needed to inform everyone that 'accidentally' stapling your balls to get out of Company Spirit Meetings early is against company policy. However,"

14: "Due to recent events, any personal office supplies brought from home, e.g. paperweights, must now be checked with a Geiger counter."

15: "Please be advised that if you reply with a question that indicates you have not read and understood the list of action items below in its entirety, I will kick you in the teeth so hard you will chew with your appendix in the future."

16: "We regret to announce that Sean is now an outlaw and no longer protected by our Workplace Violence Policy. This decision was not made lightly, but the current situation re: the break room microwaves has forced our hand. Cc'ing Sean to keep him in the loop."

17: "Please keep in mind that you are neither the most profitable nor the most important of our clients, and your disproportionate share of billable hours is due primarily to your whininess, entitled attitude, and inability to give a straight answer."

18: "If you feel the need to contact me outside my scheduled hours, please write your issue on a piece of letter sized paper, then roll it up, seal it inside a glass bottle, and cast it into the ocean. This will get a faster response than emailing, calling, or texting me at 1 in the fucking morning."

19: "Team, As a result of employees being bombarded with hundreds of e-mails after inadvertently hitting reply all, we are now instituting the following change to our e-mail communication policy: to help prevent duplicate corrections, when admonishing a coworker who you feel has used Reply All inappropriately, please make sure to use Reply All as well so the other recipients can see that the responsible party has already been notified of their mistake."

20: "Cc'ing you on every e-mail about this issue due to your record of not giving a shit about a problem unless your time is being wasted."

21: "Please do not disturb the protective circle of salt around the 2nd fridge from the left in the break room, and do not under any circumstances open it without appropriate PPE and an escort from an old priest and a young priest."

22: "After consulting with Legal and HR, we have determined that the ficus tree by the 4th floor break room dispersing pollen into the office environment does not constitute a violation of our sexual harassment policy. Also, please be advised that the ficus tree is female and is not the source of your pollen allergies. No disciplinary action will be taken against it. However, your repeated complaints targeted at the ficus tree based on its status as a plant may constitute a hostile work environment. Please meet with HR ASAP to discuss this further."

23: "Team, Placing an 'Elf On the Shelf' in any location on company premises or within your home office where it may be able to see, overhear, or access proprietary information will result in disciplinary action up to and including termination of employment. Company proprietary data may not be divulged to any unauthorized third parties, and that includes Santa Claus."

24: "Cc'ing Santa Claus to keep him in the loop on this one."

25: "Sincerely, The Only Guy Who Does His Goddamn Job Around Here."

#shitpost #workposting #emails #another day at the office #business e-mail etiquette #comical threats of violence #pettiness #surreal humor

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practically-an-x-man · 5 months ago

Note

Director’s Cut of Bishop’s Knife Trick?

Ooooh thank you so much!!

Director's Cut Game, and a link to the fic itself here

____

“It’s a common surgery. They said one in twenty people has to get their appendix removed at some point.”

I'm not fully sure how this idea came into being. I knew I wanted to explore something with Abner and Nikoletta's medical/laboratory trauma, and particularly in the context where they have to deal with that fear while also knowing it's for the best - an appendectomy ended up being the choice I went with, since it's both severe enough to prompt them into action and common enough that it wouldn't warrant any deeper investigation or treatment.

“They were always going to kill me eventually,” he sighed, “So, they’ll either… take care of this for me, or I’ll just go out a little quicker.”

It's lines like this that made this fic very, very difficult to write. Abner's passively-suicidal point of view is a very big part of his character, and it's something I can definitely empathize with (especially when it comes to the medical side of things), but I wanted to make sure there was a balance to how I wrote about it. I do tag my pieces carefully, but by the same token, the last thing I'd want is to accidentally hurt or trigger one of my readers by making things too close-to-home. This whole opening scene was painful for me to write and to read, but it's important to the overall arc and how the story ends.

“Okay.” “You hesitated.” “Pen n’ paper. Wouldn't be the first time I've gotten a call like this. Tell me what you need.”

This might be one of my favorite interactions in the whole fic, and simply because I feel like it works so well for both Rick and Nikoletta. They're both very firm, take-charge people (at least on the surface), and I think the way this is written really shows that blend of demand and respect that they have for each other here.

“Yeah, ‘course. Prob’ly be easier on him to have you there.” “I hope so.” she sighed, turning around to glance at the building above her like she could see Abner right through its walls, “I really hope so.”

Nik's last line here is meant to echo Abner's line before the Corto Maltese mission ("We're all gonna die" "I hope so..."). Mainly that's just for the reference, though I'm not sure how obvious that reference really is to an outside reader, but it's also meant to compare this situation to Corto Maltese and remind the reader of Abner's passivity towards his own life. It's not essential to the scene, but I think readers who "hear" that echo then get a little boost towards Abner's feelings about all of this.

“Sh- she’s gonna hurt me…” He spoke so quietly that she almost missed the words, and it took her an extra beat to process what Abner had said. The realization hit her like a kick to the chest. “No- no, Abner, she’s gone. She’s been gone for years. She can’t hurt you.” she stammered, clasping his hand between both of hers as if she could press the reassurances into his skin, “She can’t ever hurt you again, baby, I promise.”

Man... lot to say about this scene. It's a necessary scene to show both Abner's and Nikoletta's fear towards medical procedures, especially with this moment of him being brought back to memories of his mother... but it's also hard to write a pre-surgery or anesthesia scene without it coming across as corny. Even now, I'm still not sure how this scene comes across - does it work, or does it feel goofy? It seems fine to me, and like I said it's got some details about the characters' emotional states, but I don't know how much my own perspective is biasing things.

A little of his anxiety trickled away just at that much. When Abner dreamed, he never dreamed of this place. Somehow his mind just never allowed him to - he only ever saw Belle Reve or the little condo in STAR Labs he’d lived in before. Maybe his mind was too utterly poisoned to even allow him to dream of good things. He never saw his friends in his dreams either, or Nikoletta, or the cats… not unless they were twisted into some gruesome mental torture from the deepest pits of his mind. No, he never dreamed of good things. But reality had good things.

Not sure what to say here, except that I just really liked this bit and wanted to show it off again. I think the image of Abner knowing it's reality just because his dreams are never this pleasant (especially since he's literally waking up after having surgery... that's a low bar) is really powerful and fitting for him.

He knew she was in the apartment with him - his mind felt quieter than usual, still half-asleep and dosed on pain medicine, but he still always knew when there was someone nearby, ever since he was a kid, and who would it be if not her? Most of the time, the idea of being near another person made him vaguely anxious, especially at times like these. But instead he found himself comforted that she was nearby.

This is an allusion towards his abusive childhood, and the hypervigilance he'd have adopted as a result. He doesn't realize that's what it is, but that intuition and anxiety towards having other people nearby definitely comes from his mother (I envision him always knowing when she'd come home from work, because the semi-calm atmosphere of him and his siblings would just seem to snap when she walked in)

He could remember calling out to someone before, vaguely, back in that cloudy half-consciousness when he’d first woken up. He could hear his own voice there, sounding all frail and weak and lost, and that cut his heart and his pride in equal measure. But… that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that he couldn't remember who he’d called out to. Hope you’ve savored the good times, pal, ‘cause that’s the end of it, his frayed mind supplied, No good outcome for you here. ‘Cause if you called out to Nik, you just broke her heart, and you’ve really got no aces to spare on that front. And if you called out to your good old dearly-departed shithead mom, well… you're more fucked in the head than you realized, aren’t you? This is the level of mommy issues that usually ends in a pair of gouged-out eyes and an afternoon stroll off the edge of a cliff. Hope you had fun while it lasted.

Ooooooh boy this one hurts, and it's one of my favorite passages in this whole fic sheerly because of the ANGST. I also think it shows Abner's perspective really well, with that constantly anxiety and the irrational feeling that he'll end up abandoned for any mistake (we of course know Nikoletta wouldn't leave him regardless of who he called out to, but he still struggles to see worth in himself).

Plus, there's an Oedipus Rex reference there at the end of it, with that "pair of gouged-out eyes and an afternoon stroll of the edge of a cliff" remark. I was proud of that one.

That was Nik’s anxious face. It didn't really look the part - anxiety for her looked cold and emotionless to most people - but he knew her.

I really liked this line, too. I think it's good for Nik, showing how she tends to fall back into that Queen of Belle Reve mask when she's uncomfortable, and it's good for Abner and their relationship in the way he's able to recognize what that expression really means so quickly.

She wanted so badly to care for him, and he wanted so badly not to be a burden to her, and that stretched some tension through the room like the drop in barometric pressure before a storm. It never became a storm, really. There were those moments of tension, the atmospheric pressure shifts or tectonic plates of their rocky pasts sliding against each other, but then it trickled away. One of them conceded, or the other one, or they realized it wasn’t really a fight at all but some old ghost that wasn’t worth being exhumed.

I like this passage, too. I think it tends to break the rules of figurative language a little (one piece of writing advice I try to follow is not to overcrowd your similes and metaphors, and this is on the verge of being too crowded since we've got the storm simile, the tectonic plates, and the ghost metaphor), but I think in this case it actually culminates in a pretty neat passage! I definitely see Abner's internal monologue as pretty intellectual, I feel like he'd have spent a lot of time reading while he was still living with his mother (since there wasn't much else to do), so I think these sorts of rambling thoughts and overcrowded metaphors really work for him!!

He wanted to ask how it had been when he first woke up. He wanted to ask who he’d called out to, that first time. He didn’t want to know, but he wanted to ask. Was that self-destructive? So much of his life seemed to be. It was hard to tell where the lines were really drawn. He’d nearly convinced himself to ask, for better or worse, but Nikoletta got there first. She, as she always seemed to do, saved him from himself.

Another few lines I wanted to point out just because I liked them. Nothing I can add that I haven't already said, but I really do think this fic is great as a character study for Abner and his perspective.

He wanted to lay down beside her, to stay awake just a few minutes after her so he could watch the way she’d started to reach for him in her sleep. He figured it was just because she got cold, because she got cold a lot, but she still reached for him. She didn’t have the same inhibitions as when she was awake. It made Abner wonder what he might have done while he was asleep beside her. He wanted to wrench open a can of cat food and listen to the pitter-patter of kitty-paws as Baron and Barbie came running for their dinner. Food was how he’d tamed both of them - food was a good way to tame a lot of things, he thought - but now he could have waved an empty can or even an empty hand and they’d still come running. And they’d curl up on his lap when he sat down, even when he didn’t have anything to offer them. He wanted to visit Cleo for lunch on Wednesdays, and sneak Sebastian Cheerios and blueberries when she wasn’t looking. He wanted to bump into Nikoletta in their tiny kitchen and open the windows when whatever they were trying to cook inevitably ended up smoking up the apartment. He wanted to share a drink with his friends. He wanted to try a different type of pie from the shop down the block, the one that had a new flavor every week. He wanted to be the wall at Nik’s back when she couldn’t face the door. He wanted to live. Abner didn’t know when that had shifted.

All of this was a surprise addition, something I didn't have planned out when I first started writing the fic, but I think it really ties things together! And on top of that, I think it shows a really realistic evolution in Abner's thought process and the passively-suicidal tendencies he has (again, that's why showing that at the beginning of the fic is so important, even though it's painful). Of course when it comes down to a clear on-the-spot choice, like the whole deal with the surgery, he'll go back to his old thought processes because that's what he's used to. But when it comes to those little moments, and realizing the things he'd lose if he kept up that nihilism, he can recognize the fact that he doesn't want to die anymore.

It's never just a switch being flipped. We see how tough of a decision this is for Abner, even when Nikoletta promises to make it as easy an experience as she can. He's still fighting with that nihilism, the low self-worth, the anxiety, all of that, and having a stable home isn't going to suddenly shut that off. Hell, he's not even at the stage where he can say "I want to be alive a year from now" or find those big events to look forward to yet - but he can point out those "now" moments that he wants to experience again, and that's an important, realistic stage in healing.

Thank you again for the ask!! I'm really happy with how this piece turned out, so I loved being able to talk about it in depth here!!

#my friends!!!#neonshrike #answered asks #ask game #my writing #my ocs #nikoletta bordeaux

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alllinesarebeautiful · 10 months ago

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Day 422 Art meditation, August 18, 2024, “Dark Blue Green, Tree Ring Art”

Dear You,

Some days I don’t feel like editing, I just want to get the post out. So …

Just a little Self-Love video, in ‘honor’ of my mother, who I am going to be visiting soon, because of her COMPLETE disapproval of my body. Grrr and love combined. I’m just going to do a little post of cleavage with my paper sculpture. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to the women out there who are encouraging physical realness.

I just went through a 24 hour really deep trigger {related to rejection}, and it took me 24 hours to re-ground myself and I’m feeling a little bit feisty… Also because I know that I’m processing the fact that I’m going to be visiting all of these old {family} patterns, opinions and un-empowering stuff about Body …

Thank you Ego for trying to protect me WITH depression. But my Heart is stronger.

I had another sleepless night having new creative ideas. It’s interesting that even though I have sleepless nights, my Heart still speaks to me enough to take notes in the middle of the night. I saw myself being fully blossomed. I turned all of this writing and art into humor and connection …

And then I woke up into my usual emotionally flat state …

youtube

I know there is a Marble Jar rule out there to NOT be vulnerable unless someone has filled your jar with trusting actions, but I just believe that the distance between those books & TED talks and the people who really need to learn about shame, control, vulnerability, is too wide. I want to close the gap by making vulnerability and courage my public way of life. And let God and the Universe tell me someday what my purpose is…

I also just believe in Blossoming for no other point than to Blossom … If we all could, not just the dominant people …

It’s amazing to me that similar-bodied women out there are able to show way more skin than I am. I am so aware of all the old rules: If you want to be respected, keep your clothes on. If you DO show skin it means you have low self esteem, or are trying to get love or attention.

If I stick with what is true for me, which is the whole point of living, then I get to say to my body, “I love you and am grateful for all the hard things we went through. Multiple gynecological surgeries, a large fibroid, endometriosis and the very difficult decision to remove my uterus knowing I still could have had my own baby. But the decision was to end all the monthly pain and bleeding. I am so grateful that the one time they already had me open, they found my appendix about to explode and removed that too. I am grateful for my health, other than the knee situation ...”

One of my favorite books is by Jean Shinoda Bolen, “Goddesses in Every Woman”. Published in 1984, it still completely holds up. I’m so proud of myself that I bought it in 1991, when I discovered feminism at college. (I also love that Jean Shinoda Bolen is San Francisco based … :) jeanbolen.com/

Out of all the goddesses written about in this book, ‘Aphrodite’ (the Goddess of Love and Beauty, Creative Woman and Lover”) is the one goddess who feels the most pointless to me … Beauty-worshiping has only created the empty void that is social media, new and creative ways to hate ourselves. The patriarchy has propped up physical female beauty as another thing to own, and decide about the details of what beauty is.

And yet, I love this definition of Aphrodite: she is the “the alchemical goddess governing a woman's enjoyment of love and beauty, sexuality, and sensuality, impells women to fulfill both creative and procreative functions.”

If we remove the commercial aspect of what it is to be beautiful, and move into the creative and fulfilling parts, then Aphrodite speaks to me.

Women have so much depth that gets shadowed in a patriarchy, and the idea that each woman has these mythological goddesses inside each of us is so empowering. I hope we (everybody) can start blossoming in a matriarchal-women-heart-oriented way soon …

Lots of love,

Anne ◎

Adding more Wall Mural Art!

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brettblankley · 1 year ago

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Dr. P Check in

Assignment Question?

One of the main questions I have is, where should my appendix go in my paper? In some of my feedback I was told to put some of my data in the appendix but I have never made one before and am kind of lost on how to do it and how much data I should put in it. Another question I have is, how much "content" should we create for the how to write guide? in my case I am using instagram posts, how many posts should i make?

@npfannen

#writ318mu #week4

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gstdaisuki · 1 year ago

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Part 1: A Chat with Paul Hutchinson

While I usually interview musicians, Paul is a programmer first, and musician when he needs to be. However, I still had a lot to ask about, as he was able to provide a fascinating window into what gamedev was like in the late 80s and early 90s.

This interview was conducted across several emails in 2024Q1. The exchange has been rearranged to flow more naturally as a conversation, with quote blocks mostly removed. There's a part 2, in a different format with more of a music focus. Both are mirrored on patreon.

GST: I'd like to start with a somewhat open-ended question: most of your online presence is under the handle "Z80GameCoder". that's a really interesting processor to embrace! I'd like to know why you embraced that, and I guess how you got started on that path. I got the impression that you were part of the UK's "bedroom coder revolution" era, but it seems like the 6502 was more popular (C64, BBC Micro). Was the ZX Spectrum your first computer, perhaps?

PH: It all began when I was about 13 years old, in 1977. Technically, the very first computer I had experience with was via a 300 baud modem teletype (playing Tic-Tac-Toe, on a print-out), but I don't recall what was on the other end of the telephone line. This was an interim solution, until the new machines arrived at my school. Computer Studies (O-level) was a brand new course at the time, and my mum said I should give it a try, on account of it being such a new thing. When the first machines arrived, after a few weeks, they were RML 380Z desktop computers. Made by Research Machines Limited, as I recall, and Z80 based.

They were a lot more fun than the teletype. I dove right in, and became quite familiar with them. So that is probably why I got into the Z80 in the first place. I wrote some BASIC games at the time. A version of Tic-Tac-Toe, and a version of Star Trek, which was another game they had on the teletype. Man, we used up a lot of paper playing that game on the teletype.

I left school at 16, to go to College, where I took Computer Science (A-level). There was a computer lab with a bunch of RML 380Z desktops. I continued to program games in BASIC, including a version of Pong, Breakout, and even a rudimentary implementation of Space Invaders. The graphics were very blocky, four pixels per character square, with black, white, and two shades of gray, if I remember coirrectly. Yeah, that was pretty basic stuff.

I got a Sinclair ZX-Spectrum 16k in 1982, for my 18th birthday, my very first computer. We quickly replaced it with a 48k version, as 16k clearly was not enough RAM to be working with, even at the time. I bought, and played, all the games I could, spending many hours with my beloved 'Speccie'.

Meanwhile, back at college, a friend, and one of the teachers, challenged me to write my games in Assembler, instead of BASIC. So I then set about learning Z80 code. I basically taught myself, although, later on, the Computer Science class began working with Assembler. But by that time, I was already fairly proficient. And the rest, as they say, is history.

GST: So in other words, you taught yourself Z80 assembly outside of school. What resources were you using to teach yourself all that? It's a few years before google, after all.

PH: Yes, I taught myself BASIC programming, Assembler, and everything related to game development. You had to be able to do everything back then, so I did.

The resources I used were …

Sinclair ZX Spectrum BASIC Programming - Steven Vickers - Appendix A

(For some reason Appendix A has been removed from the PDF that is online, I have no idea why, it's very strange.)

I referred to the assembler code there, but it was not enough, long term, and I very soon got …

Programming The Z80 - Rodnay Zaks

This was the resource for the Z80 at the time. Very detailed descriptions, and, most importantly, the execution time T-states, along with the byte length, for each and every instruction. With this I was able to determine that using a bunch of LDI instructions in a row, with a JR instruction to loop back, was much faster than using an LDIR. This got used in the V-blank routines used to dump memory to the display, for example. It used up more memory, but it got the job done way faster.

GST: How did you get into PSS? Did Xavior come first, and you found PSS as a publisher? Or did PSS find you? It looks to me like you found PSS and they brought you in to work on other projects, since your Amstrad games all came after 1984

PH: The first real piece of code I wrote in Assembler was for LBC's "Computer Club", a radio show hosted by Clive Bull. They would broadcast a program over the air every week. I sent in a version of Pacman I called MacMan, because it had a burger theme. (It's at the bottom of my game page at z80gamecoder.com ) After that I wrote Xavior. I spent about two months teaching myself Assembler, and coding the game. We were moving back up to Coventry from London, so I looked for a publisher in Coventry. That was PSS. I pitched the game to them, and they accepted it, and offered me a job. It was my first job. Pretty basic, not well paid though, but it got me into the industry. I got to work alongside Alan Steele (a really good bloke, I miss him), who was the leading War Game programmer at the time (at least in the UK). I worked with Mike Simpson (on Swords & Sorcery), who went on to do the Total War series of games, at Creative Assembly.

(As a side note, a member of Creative Assembly (I think his name was Ingi? Ingimar? [EDITOR'S NOTE: it was Ingimar Guðmundsson]) showed up to work at Gogogic in Iceland, when I was there. It's a small world, eh. re: the gaming industry)

I have worked alongside some of the biggest names in the history of game programming, looking back, it's pretty cool, tbh.

GST: I'm kind of surprised to see a game development job described as "pretty basic"!

"Not well paid" is easy to believe, but games are complicated! What made it basic?

PH: I say "basic" firstly because of the low pay. With the contract I had after leaving PSS, a project with Firebird (BT), I earned my yearly salary in just two months, which would be a six-fold increase in earnings in one jump. Secondly, the place where we worked was a residential house, nothing fancy.

(this off-white building is the same place in 2014, via google street view)

Mike's office was behind the top left window, our office space was at the back on the same floor. Humble beginnings. Although the bosses, Gary and Richard, drove around in super fancy sports cars.

GST: Actually, I'd like to ask about the names you mentioned. Maybe you can dig up some old memories about working with everyone and use those stories to illuminate what it was like at the time.

Or at least I think anecdotes are fun and interesting. :P

The credits I can find on Swords & Sorcery are all quite vague, saying that you and Mike Simpson both did "unknown".

I assume that he took the role of a designer while you programmed? Or is it impossible to cleanly divide who did what?

PH: Names …

Mike wore sweaters that were not the most fashionable, as I recall, and, as a result, got some degree of ribbing from co-workers. He was not always in the office, he came in when necessary. My involvement with Swords & Sorcery was with rendering the action window, Mike did the bulk of the coding, obviously, and he was the game designer. I contributed some graphics too, as I have some natural artistic ability. I worked on both the Spectrum and Amstrad versions (the full code conversion for Amstrad). The project took quite a bit longer than we expected, by my recollection. I remember a conversation with Mike about how excited he was with the possibility of fractal generation of environment, what is called 'procedural'? An example he gave was being able to generate graphic renderings of trees in games, using maths, rather than having a pre-rendered image of a tree. He was a bit ahead of himself, as he needed to get S&S finished first. … and now we have games like "No Man's Sky".

As an example, I did the graphics for this:

GST: Looking at mobygames, you're in the credits for the ZX Speccy version of Bismark alongside Alan Steele.

It says he designed everything and you just provided "graphic help"?

PH: Alan was a really nice bloke, and very talented. One day he showed me a book he had gotten, and at the back was mention of Jacqui Lyons, who was just starting to represent game developers, having been representing authors for some time.

Alan said I should get in touch with her and see where it would lead. I took his advice, and ended up as one of her clients. She got the contract with Firebird. It was definitely a good move, and I am really grateful to Alan for that advice. In turn, after a couple of contracts with Firebird, Jacqui said I should consider an opportunity in America. The first one that presented itself was with EA, in California. I did an interview with them, I think it was with Trip Hawkins (if I recall correctly).

However, I was not ready to make the move, so I declined their offer. Subsequently, I was rather glad about that, as I have heard that working for EA was not easy.

Later, the offer from MicroProse presented itself, and I was ready by then, and accepted. I interviewed with Steve Meyer, who had a firm handshake, which was something I noted about the Americans that I met. A level of confidence, assertiveness, that was not typical of your average Brit, including myself. I liked Steve, he was a good boss.

For Bismarck, I was working on the arcade screens, and the Amstrad version of those when I left. When I look now, I do not see that it ever got published for the Amstrad? Hmm. I commented the heck out of the code, right before I departed, and printed it all out, just to be certain it was well documented. That way I could not be said to have left things in a mess. I guess they never got someone to pick up the project. Oh, well. [EDITOR'S NOTE: this version was advertised as "coming soon", but never released.]

I had asked PSS to give me a contract right from the beginning, but they never did, so I had the freedom to leave whenever. When I told them I was leaving, they offered to double my wages, and give me a bonus there and then. However, double is still less than six times, and I had already committed to the contract with Firebird.

In my experience, and my life in general, everything happens for a reason. Looking back I can see all the turning points, and how everything just fell into place at exactly the right moment in time.

GST: I'm very fascinated with the situation you described with Jacqui Lyons. She's like an agent… for game developers? I'm surprised I've never heard of this!

PH: Yes, Jacqui was an agent for quite a few developers, some big names, apparently. She would find contracts, negotiate the best deal, and receive a percentage in recompense. It was well worth it. I got work, was well compensated for it, and I could just get on with doing what I loved, coding. I would go down to London from time to time, for a meeting with her, and for interviews with potential clients for projects. It worked out very well. She looked out for me, and I appreciated that too. When she got me the position with Microprose, all that came to an end, obviously.

GST: Looking at your gameography, it looks like Project Stealth Fighter is the only released game from Microprose.

Did you do anything else there? Or was it just a series of contracted projects once you came to America?

PH: At Microprose I did the 128k version of PSF for the ZX-Spectrum, and then I squeezed it down to the 48k version, as I recall. By the time I was done, two years had passed. In the meantime I had met my wife-to-be, and we had a wedding date planned, so I was kind of committed to staying in America by then. Once the PSF project was completed, I tried to convince the management at Microprose that I was worth keeping on as an employee (because I knew for a fact that I was). However, I was not able to do so. The new boss (not Steve Meyer) decided to let me go. They claimed I was not useful for anything else, and could only do Spectrum related projects, which they had no need of any longer. At the time, it seemed like a bad situation, but, as with everything else in my experience, it was just a transition to something much better.

When they let me go, I had to pack up all my stuff immediately, and vacate the building. That is how it worked in the software business. Once they were done with you, you had to leave. Supposedly due to industry secrecy etc. I would continue to be paid, I just could not be in the office once I was being let go.

As I was leaving, walking to the end of the corridor, there was a fellow coder, who had his office door open. He asked me about what was happening, and I told him. He quickly produced a business card for "Innerprise", a nearby company that was started by Paul Lombardi, a former Microprose employee. The co-worker said I might want to try giving those guys a call. And so, there was another stepping stone to a brighter future.

After leaving I did give Innerprise a call, got an interview, and was offered a job. I just had to wait until after I was allowed to work again, with the correct paperwork. There was a gap, where I went back to the UK briefly, returned, got married, and got the necessary paperwork.

I do have some anecdotes related to MicroProse, if you are interested in those?

GST: Absolutely! Anecdotes are great brushstrokes that help paint a picture of the era.

PH: MicroProse was a great experience for me. For the first year and a half the "MicroProse Family" (which I think it was actually referred to as) was a lot of fun. There were a lot of social activities going on, which was actively encouraged. This was a good business strategy, because a happy workforce is a productive workforce. We were more of a team as a result.

The whole company went to the Air Show at Andrews Air Force base, for example. Where the Blue Angels put on quite a display. Then there was the company trip to have a flight on the "Miss MicroProse", an old WWII airplane, with a single propeller. "Wild" Bill Stealey was the pilot, and we each took our turn up in the air, donning a flight suit and clambering up into the cockpit. I remember it being a pretty wild, and noisy, ride. Much more fun/exhilarating than any rollercoaster I had been on. We all went on a trip to an aircraft museum also. No chance was missed to participate in Aeronautical activities related to the flight sims the company was developing at the time.

(from an advertisement, courtesy SidMeiersMemoir)

The company purchased season passes for Merriweather Post Pavilion, for the summer concerts. We could select which concert we wanted to attend, based on availability. I remember going to see Herbie Hancock and Chick Corea, which was most agreeable. Herbie Hancock being one of my favourite artists at the time, an excellent keyboard player/musician. The weather was suitably "summery", and the music was excellent.

GST: Herbie Hancock and Chick Corea! That's a great pair already! This would've been not long after "Perfect Machine", one of my fav HH albums.

I'm very curious about your music tastes, but I don't want to derail your thoughts just yet.

PH: Each Monday there was a company meeting, where everyone gathered in the main area of the building. Bill Stealey would address us all, along with the other management, keeping us up to date on the various goings on. That was fairly mundane, tbh, and not the most fun. However, one time, someone (and I do not recall exactly who it was) had an idea to help make it more fun. They ordered some comical headwear for all of us, which we paid for ourselves. And so, one Monday, we all showed up wearing a fez. It took a few moments to become noticed, as we filed in and sat down. It was rather silly, but it did lighten things up, with a round of laughter to follow.

Sid Meier was a cool dude to hang out with. One time, after work, a small group of us, including Sid, played M.U.L.E. on an Atari 400. We each took turns on the console, making our moves, as the game is turn based. Pizza was ordered, so we would have something to eat for dinner. As I recall, whilst we were waiting for the pizza to be delivered, Sid came up with the idea of "Pizza Hijackers", where you would order the pizza to be delivered, then hijack it on its way, and end up being the one who delivered it to the customer, thereby removing all the (unnecessary) overhead of actually having a pizza business. After consuming the rather delicious pizza, we drove to the local 7-Eleven, and picked out a pint of Ben & Jerry's, each. Then returned to the office, and devoured the entire pint in one go. Ah, the joys of being young and carefree, eh.

My (humble) contribution to making things a little "funner" was a "Name The Gorilla" competition. I purchased a bunch of small stuffed gorillas, and posted details of the competition, the prize for a winning name was a doughnut (the budget for the project was somewhat limited, obviously, going mostly for the gorillas). There were a few participants, including Bruce Shelley. I think Bruce's winning name was "DrillBit". The only other name I can recall is "Gorilla MyDreams", which was John Kennedy's entry(?). I still have "DrillBit", in a box somewhere here. I used to hangout and chat with Bruce from time to time, he was a big fan of the Saturn cars, which I think were fairly new at the time. I remember him mentioning, more than once, how popular they were.

Man, I just remembered the pit beef. Was it "Sharkey's Pit Beef"? There was a nearby food shack that sold pit beef. My first lunch in America was a pit beef sandwich. I always ordered it the same way from that day forward: pit beef, salt and pepper, American cheese, on a kaiser roll. We grabbed the sandwich and went to a local field, where we ate, and threw a softball around for a bit. The company had a softball team, which I joined for a while (although I do not remember us ever winning a game).

I seem to remember the food quite a bit. My first burger, which was about twice the size of anything you would get in the UK at the time, and I was unable to finish it. The ribs at "The Corner Stable" too, which I really enjoyed at the time. Ah ... Roy Rogers ... One lunch time, we went out to get burgers from "Roy Rogers". When we got there, the restaurant was quite busy. So, my roommate, Kevin, said we should go through the drive through instead. Except, he suggested we park the car, and walk through the drive through in formation. Okay, so off we went, on foot, in formation, to order and collect our lunch. I think the drive through staff were a little perplexed, but we got our food, and had a laugh at the same time.

All in all, the first 18 months at MicroProse were a lot of fun for me, which helped me adjust to life in America. I can remember when I first arrived I had some culture shock. America was quite different from England. It felt a bit weird because everyone was talking with an accent, and, unlike on TV, it did not stop, I could not turn it off. I did get homesick for a while, as it was my first time living away from my family home. In the end, I adjusted pretty well, and grew to prefer America as a place to live.

GST: Man, that drive-through prank in particular is perfect. Beautiful. lol

Let's see... after Innerprise, you moved to Sega of America. How did that work? I recall reading that you were in a unique position with SoA…

PH: I was at Innerprise working on the Sega Master System version of Spider-Man vs. The Kingpin. As such, I was in touch with Ed Annunziata, the project manager at Sega of America. The project was moving along, although maybe not as smoothly as it could have been. However, Ed and I worked together well, and had a good relationship. There were some things going on behind the scenes with the management at Innerprise, and I was not privy to such activity. What I did know, was that my paychecks were bouncing. I am not one to be working for free, and the cost/inconvenience of a bounced check is not to be tolerated for long. Ed came out to visit, we met and discussed the situation. Ed appreciated my honesty. After the third bounced paycheck, I had had enough, and I left my position at Innerprise as a result. After a brief period, I was contacted by Sega Of America and offered the contract to finish up the SMS version of Spider-Man vs. The Kingpin. (The Genesis version was still under development by Innerprise.) Thus, I found myself working directly with Sega Of America, as an independent contractor (rather than as a company), which made me unique. SoA seemed quite pleased with the choice, and so we continued our relationship across quite a few projects, moving on to the Game Gear right after Spider-Man was finished (beginning with that conversion).

GST: Oh yeah, I had a very specific question about your work on Spiderman vs The Kingpin: the in-game credits say that you were the programmer "with assistance by John Kennedy". I assumed that this was a senior programmer that helped onboard you to the project, but I actually can't find any other credits to his name.

Do you recall what the situation was, here?

PH: John Kennedy helped with some subroutines on Spiderman vs The Kingpin, I was the majority programmer.

GST: I'm curious about these conversions in general, actually. What was it like working as an independent contractor? Specifically, I noticed that the credits always had a tiny number of people, and your name was often in programming, music, art, AND design.

Were you doing all of this with some kit at home?

PH: It was great working as an independent contractor. I got to do what I loved to do, and without a lot of additional stuff to deal with (business-wise). After I left Innerprise, and got the contract with SoA direct, I had to go pick up the development kit from the Innerprise Office. Then I went and bought a new PC to hook it up to. I remember paying about $2200 for it. A 486 DX2 66, as I recall. With a $300 14" CRT monitor. I think that is the most I ever paid for a PC. Later I got an Amiga 2000HD also, for doing art (using Dpaint), and music (using Pro-Tracker). The Sega development kit included a ZAX-ICE (In-Circuit Emulator), which plugged into an SMS where the Z80 cpu would be (the SMS top cover was removed in order to achieve that). Those ZAX units ran about $50,000 a piece at the time. SoA provided a second one later on, when I was doing Game Gear work, as backup. I still have both units (SoA said I could just keep them or throw them out at the end of the GG development cycle, they did not want them back), and last time I looked, some years ago, they were on Ebay selling for only about $500. The Game Gear had a special development board, into which the ZAX-ICE plugged, it looked nothing like an actual Game Gear. I coded, and then uploaded to an SoA BBS (this was before there was an internet for that sort of thing). Once a year they would fly me out to visit, and we would meet and discuss the next project. I worked from home, and I was a stay-at-home dad too. My wife was an anesthesiologist, so she was busy full-time with that career. It was a lot to handle, and I did the best I could.

I was involved in all aspects of the games' development to varying degrees. There would be a designer who wrote the initial design paper, and we would work from that blueprint, going back and forth to get the best possible game we could make that was practical. There would be a musician who composed music for some of the projects too. And, of course, an artist to take care of the bulk of the necessary artwork. I contributed to everything that I was able to. I would touch up bits of art in order to make it work right, particularly sprites. I had prior experience with Spectrum and Amstrad, where I did everything myself. I really enjoyed having a hands-on approach to projects, it was very satisfying to have that much influence.

GST: I also spotted a Judy Hutchinson in the credits for the 2nd X-Men game. Any relation?

PH: Judy was my wife at the time, she was quite supportive. We supported each other. When the Game Gear projects ended, and the final X-Men 3 SMS conversion for Brazil was done, I was done working with SoA. I continued on as a stay-at-home dad. That was enough to keep me busy, with about three jobs worth of activity. A doctor for a wife, who was often on call. Three young children, all growing up. A large household, on 18.5 acres, that needed a lot of attention. Up to five horses, two pygmy goats, a pot-bellied pig, a rabbit, and around ten cats (at one point). I had my hands full all the time. I planned, drove, shopped, cooked, cleaned, mowed, planted, tended, … all the things. It was a great experience, which I would not repeat. I was a stay-at-home dad before that was even really a thing, so I was pretty much on my own (very challenging).

Looking at the .ASM files I can see the dates/years. We moved to the Gettysburg farm in 1995, I think. Before that we lived in a townhouse in Timonium, MD. There I worked in the basement. Slightly less work for me there.

GST: It's funny to hear that you were making these games on a farm! (Or, well, mostly basement.) I think most people imagine video games are made exclusively in high tech offices filled to the brim with cutting edge technology. I keep finding just the opposite! (Thinking of David Wise having to furnish his studio from a cattle shed...)

Anyway, from the above, it sounds like you were kind of a funnel: The person that put every asset and idea into the ROM.

... And you took advantage of that by polishing everything you got as you put it in.

Or am I misreading? I suppose you could've been uploading pieces to the BBS, for someone else to assemble/compile…

PH: That is correct. I put everything together, and built the finished ROM. I used the Avocet Z80 Assembler for coding. Turbo C++ to write utilities to convert data into assembler files (with db/dw statements, and lots of hex values). Dpaint artwork, and music files had to be converted from native formats. Maps were built in TUME (The Ultimate Map Editor). TUME was made by my friend, and ex-colleague from MicroProse, Dan Chang (Echidna, who made NES "Cool Spot", "M.C. Kids", etc.). He went on to work for Nintendo, and was in Washington state, last I heard. I programmed the EPROMs using a Needham's Electronics EPROM programmer. I put those into a test cartridge and ran it on a regular system.

GST: I'd like to circle back and talk about music. You were getting into game making at what I think was a time of transition, when people were starting to expect music to be part of the game experience…

…but the ZX Speccy only had a beeper.

Your first 2 games featured (as best I can tell on my emulators) purely beeper music on their title screens. It's simple, but that's par for the course considering the hardware. I'm curious if you recall any of your thoughts/philosophy about music on the ZX and CPC.

I mean, you could probably have gotten away with a silent title screen, but you put the effort in to make some music, so you had to see some value in that, right?

PH: Absolutely, title music had value to me. Music on the Spectrum was quite limited, due to the nature of the hardware. The Amstrad had more to work with, obviously. Actually, I remember making an attempt at "Acid House" on the Amstrad. I made a demo tape from simple loops I constructed, in BASIC. I took it down to Jazzy M's record store in London (Michael Schiniou, Oh'Zone Records). I used to listen to him on LWR, a pirate radio station in London. I would go down and buy House Music from his store. He was a cool dude.

(Interview, 1h 50m 38s)

GST: Man, this interview is wild. It feels like a very distinct slice of time. I'm not familiar with pirate radio but it makes sense that someone like that would be the "A&R guy for the A&R guys", as he put it 🤣

PH: On a later visit I purchased an LP of UK Acid House (I think the cover is yellow, mostly), which had a track on it which sounded very familiar. I think my Amstrad demo tape was inspiration for it. This happened also with a track I did on the Amiga. I posted several tracks I made on an Amiga Music BBS, when I was living in Timonium, MD (1991?). One was called "Baby Beat", which I made whilst my then wife was pregnant with our first child, Samantha.

And this is the track that I think it helped inspire:

Orbital - Midnight (Live)

I am unable to prove this, since my Amiga is long gone. I am not able to prove the Amstrad track either, unless there is a tape somewhere here that still has that recording on it (maybe I will find it one day, who knows).

GST: Man, I'd LOVE to hear a comparison between your CPC acid and the vinyl it inspired. Too bad it's been lost to time…

I also tried a quick search for any archived amiga tunes with "baby beat" in the instrument text, with no luck. alas…

PH: I released "Baby Beat" into the public domain, so it's fair game for anyone. I think I used my Mista "P" handle for that. That was the handle I ran with for pirate radio. We used to listen to Radio Invicta back in the day. Another pirate radio station, playing mostly soul, funk, jazz-funk etc. Stuff you could not hear on the BBC or even commercial radio at the time. I made, and sent in, large envelopes covered in funky artwork. Something to get noticed. We had lots of dedications read out, which were also designed to be stand-out (funky/quirky). Invicta was a South London based pirate station. They got to be quite familiar with us, due to our consistent interaction (via mail and phone). We (me and my younger brother, who called himself "Jam Thang", his name is James, btw) got to host a show once, with Steve DeVonne. We brought in all the Funk and P-Funk we had on vinyl, and Steve played it for us. We were teenagers at the time. The shows were recorded ahead of time, to cassette, then broadcast on a Sunday. Invicta would pick a block of flats somewhere, and set up their transmitter on the roof, for that afternoon. They had to stay ahead of the authorities, since it was not licensed. We even answered the phones one week too, so our home phone was used (just the once). It felt very cool at the time. I have a lot of the dedications on tape still, and the show we did with Steve too. I visited with Tony Johns, who ran the station. And I also made a banner for them in 1982 (when the "Falklands War" broke out, as I remember hearing it on LBC when I was painting the letters on the canvas). I met Steve Walsh (DJ), to deliver the banner, as I recall, when it was completed. I remember getting BBC Radio Medway to say stuff they were not allowed to say, that was fun. Dave Brown used to have a show on there. I sent in a dedication that included a "hi" to "Ray, Dee, Owen, Victor …" Hahaha … Dave read it out, before realizing what he had just said on air, then quickly said "Oops, who got caught out there? …" and laughed. That is on a tape I have. Man, I have to digitize those things before they fall apart, eh.

GST: I encourage this! It looks like it'd be in great company, too: https://archive.org/details/70s-80s-radio-shows/

Skimming through some of these shows, I imagine this is what I'd be into if I were there at the time. Especially when they bring in the jazz fusion.

I even spotted some Shakatak! Seven years before my favorite album of theirs!

This kinda answers an earlier thought, where I was wondering about your musical tastes.

Though these roots don't show very much in your game scores, which feel more dancefloor inspired, to my ear. Looking it up, I guess the music on LWR is a closer match

PH: Shakatak!

I remember buying their first 12" (1980)

Back when Brit-Funk was starting to be a thing.

I was recalling going up into town (when I lived in South London), to visit Groove Records (to get Surface Noise's 12" "The Scratch") and Bluebird Records (Manfredo Fest "Jungle Kitten"). I think both stores were in the Soho area? (generally)

I still have the plastic carrier bags from those stores. :D

GST: I keep being amazed at all the little details you can find online. Check this out, a website dedicated to remembering these old record stores: https://www.britishrecordshoparchive.org/shops/blue-bird-records/

PH: That is cool.

Ok, Counterpoint is where I bought my first vinyl, it was just up the road from where we lived. I even worked there for a time. Dang. This is a different location. The one I shopped/worked at was on Westow Hill, Upper Norwood. https://www.britishrecordshoparchive.org/shops/counterpoint/

GST: Circling back a bit, you mentioned you that you wrote an acid tune... I think it's kind of funny to imagine the square waves of a CPC in rotation on a pirate radio!

Were you able to get that "ringmod" sound with the AY using BASIC? (This "triangular" sound.) I've never worked with the AY so I don't fully understand it, but I always figured that was a fast CPU trick…

PH: I don't think I achieved that with the Amstrad audio in BASIC. I remember I was doing bending/ramping somehow. It wasn't actual Acid House sound, but was as close to it as I could manage. It sounded funky, and had that chip-tune quality to it.

I am happy at the thought I might have inspired some actual musicians. :)

GST: That's a funny choice of words, I think. What is an "actual musician" and how does that definition exclude you?

To be fair, I've been making and sharing music for decades but haven't signed any record deals, so perhaps I'd exclude myself from a category of "actual musicians".

It's an interesting thought to me, though. "No true Scotsman" and all that.

PH: "Actual musician" … hmm … I guess I mean "professional"? Like, it's something the person projects as what they inherently are? Technically I got paid for my music, so simply earning money from it is not what I mean. I would say I was a Game Coder, who made music, as opposed to a musician. But maybe, if I look at it, then I am a musician, by simple fact of making music?

GST: You definitely carry the essence of a Game Coder, specifically on the Z80. ;)

I'd describe these as hats. You may primarily be a game coder, but you've worn your musician hat plenty as well.

PH: Back on the topic of games … My time at Gogogic was even more of a family experience than it had been at MicroProse (the first 18 months there, that is). Such a cool bunch of people. I really enjoyed that time. There were co-workers who had grown up playing my games as kids (e.g. Jonathon Osborne, Australian, now in Montreal, Canada, I think).

GST: Was that the first time you had experienced that? I can imagine this being a shock, both with the realization that your work reached others, and the feeling of "I can't believe that I'm old now"

PH: Yes, that was the first time I experienced meeting someone who had played my games as a kid. It was kind of cool. It's heartwarming to know that I helped bring some fun/joy into the world. I don't regard game programming as something that has much impact on the world, in general, but knowing that it has had a positive effect is comforting. Yeah, there is a disconnect between programming games and the audience that plays them, for the most part. There are a few people in the industry who are "rock stars" that get that kind of experience. Most of us are just coding away, and getting on with our lives (and getting older).

GST: I'm also noting that you skipped straight to Gogogic, not really talking about what I presume was an era of self-study, learning how to write iOS apps. I suppose it was too transitional to mention?

PH: Ah, yes, the time before Gogogic …

I was doing the stay-at-home dad thing, on the farm, as I mentioned. I spent the time collecting consoles and games, in order to keep up with the industry in general. I was "The Entertainment Committee", and I had a (weekly) budget even. I built a home theater in the basement, with a projector, a 12' screen, large surround sound system, and six La-Z-Boy chairs, with the back row on a raised platform. It was super cool, especially when the THX sound played, at some volume. There was also an array of consoles set up, so the kids could all be playing whatever game they wanted, simultaneously. Then, after some years, I was being encouraged by my then wife to get back to work (since the kids were growing up, and requiring somewhat less supervision). I saw the growth of the iOS market, and people making a decent living from it. I had an iPhone, so I had played games on that. I set about finding out how to program iOS. It's a lot different from Z80 Assembler, the whole approach is different (high level vs low level).

We had a two story home, so I sequestered myself in the (finished) basement every morning for some months. I just pushed myself forward until it finally clicked. If game programming is supposed to be like "riding a bicycle", then it was more like having had muscles atrophy, and having to grow back muscle mass, before even getting to ride anywhere. It was literally painful to get my brain accustomed to programming again, but I persevered. I wrote a word puzzle game for iOS. I am sure the structure is terrible, because I did not apply the new philosophy of high level languages to the process. But, it worked. I made a word dictionary using a DAWG (Directed Acyclic Word Graph), which kept the size down to a minimum, and traversing it to find words was fast. Little did I know that it would come in very handy when I interviewed for Gogogic, and then getting hired within two weeks of arriving in Iceland.

We had developed a friendship with the team at Gogogic through their Facebook game "Vikings of Thule". We played it a lot, and interacted with the development team, providing bug reports and feedback on gameplay. We were getting very interested in Iceland, after visiting during a stop-over on the way to see my family in the UK. To the point of wanting to live there, at least for a part of the year (it was a mutual preference/desire). When we bought a summer house in Kjós, near Hvalfjörður, we hosted the entire team at our home (during one of our stays in the summer). It was the "Gogogic Fanfest". CCP had their big annual Fanfest each year, and so we decided to host one for Gogogic. They hired a mini-bus, and drove up to visit. It was so much fun.

GST:

It was literally painful to get my brain accustomed to programming again

yeah, I feel that! I took a class on iOS development around the same time (~2012) and it's far, far removed from assembly! I was curious about that transitional period specifically for that reason.

I can't help but zoom in on some of the things you say: You make it sound like you were playing Vikings of Thule, noticed a bug, reported it, then heard back from the developers… and then repeated that cycle until you became friends and coworkers.

Is that what happened?

PH: Yes, that is it in a nutshell. We (Judy and I) played the game a lot, found bugs, as it was still under development, and reported the bugs. We also made suggestions for improvements and features. It was really cool to interact with them. We visited Iceland a number of times before buying the summer house. Firstly, we met Gogogic at their office, before they moved to Laugavegur, which was here …

Glass building on the left, I think it was the third floor. The Japanese embassy is also in the building. To the right is the petrol/gas station that was used for the TV show "Næturvaktin" (highly recommended, very funny).

GST: that's a funny way to move to Iceland :P

PH: Actually, it was the perfect way to move to Iceland. Everything fell into place in exactly the right way. When our marriage came to an end, everything was in place for me to move there as smoothly as can be. The timing was perfect. I had just three days notice, from the time I was told "You have to go!", to when I was on the ground in Iceland. When I arrived, I had a car, a home, and a job lined up within two weeks. Jón Heiðar kindly picked me up, once I arrived in Reykjavík (on the bus from the airport), and we chatted on the drive up to the summer house (where the car was parked). He said Gogogic was looking for an iOS programmer, and I should interview. Which I did, not knowing how vital that would be at the time.

I also had developed a friendship with Jared and Hulda, and their friend Tim, which revolved around paragliding. They looked out for me, a lot, being concerned about my well-being, given the circumstances. I learned paragliding with them, up to the point of making an actual flight (a small flight, but nonetheless, I flew). I probably would not have made it without them. I am forever grateful.

I had been corresponding with Jared on account of his blog about moving to Iceland, and we had met at least once before I moved there. So I had actual friends as well, not just friends who were co-workers. Given that I ended up going through a divorce, everything else was perfect. It helped immensely, and I thank God for all of it.

GST: Paragliding? That's a funny recurring motif: flight!

PH: I bloody loved paragliding. I got really good at ground handling, which they told me is harder than flight, because in flight you don't have the ground to deal with. They all said they had never seen anyone learn so fast, and I was good. Tim said I could be one of the best if I continued.

(37s) "Hola Hop"

Hulda is holding the camera, and that's her voice. Jared is the other paraglider in the video.

They moved to Switzerland. During a flight, where Hulda was given instructions, which she followed, she got into a spin that was not recoverable from. She went all the way into the ground and died as a result. When I heard of this I quit. Hulda was the one who managed to get through to me with instruction the best, and we clicked as regards teacher/pupil. She trusted that instructor, and I would do the same. So I saw the potential of being in a similar situation. I could not risk that. My kids were pleased I gave it up.

GST: oh, that's a really tragic turn of events :(

I suppose it's nice to have experienced flight at all, but that's got to be haunting…

PH: Yes, it is a bit haunting. However, I remember all the good times we spent together, and I am forever grateful to Jared, Hulda, and Tim. I cherish those memories, and they always bring a smile.

GST: I'd like to circle back to gogogic. so, although both involve programming, working on high level iOS code in the 10s is extremely different from working on machine code in the 90s. I'm wondering if you experienced any culture shock, not just from moving to Iceland, but from jumping 15 years into the future of game development so to speak.

PH: yes, very much so. It was not just the Assembler to Objective C jump, in terms of type of language. It was also the jump from a lot of constraints, to relatively few. Space was at a premium on the Z80 devices I coded for. Whereas, it was not so on iOS. My co-workers at Gogogic were very helpful in guiding me in how to change the way I wrote code. On Z80 I used a lot of abbreviations, due to space. This makes code harder to read, obviously. On iOS they told me to name things according to what they were, or what they did. I did not have to abbreviate to save space. Then there is the object oriented aspect of the higher level coding. It is very different indeed. Working as part of a team was a change too. I mean, I worked on a team before, but I had more hands-on control over things on Z80. I enjoyed learning. We used Git, so I had to learn about version control etc. The way I did debugging was not to their liking, as I recall. I relied on intuition a lot, and it worked very well for me. They prefered a more systematic approach to debugging. I remember having my bug fixes rejected, after I came up with them very quickly. Then they went through the process they had adopted and fixed the same bug over again. It took them hours to do, but that is how they wanted it done. So that would be a change too, having to use the same methods as the team, with no room for bringing my own. I am good either way. My focus is on delivering the product, and doing the best job I can possibly do, regardless of anything else. If something is worth doing, it is worth doing well. That is how I have always worked, and it applies to everything in life.

GST: They didn't like your debugging? Interesting… I remember looking at your linkedin and seeing that you particularly enjoyed debugging code. I suppose this means you became accustomed to the team's "newschool" methods?

PH: Yes, I love debugging. I like fixing things in general, so that is the coding version of it. I did learn how to debug their way, and fit in with the team as needed. At AppDynamic I was praised by the boss for how I helped take the product(s) from something that functioned, to something that was really polished. Pratik was quite pleased with my debugging. He was really good at getting code up and running, but I don't think he liked debugging as much as I did. It's like a puzzle, you have to solve it. Puzzles are fun.

Fixing things is great. Taking something broken and making it of use, I love that. I can do anything I put my mind to as well. My friend Kent said "You can do anything that you want to do, if people do it, you can do it." "If you don't want to do it, have someone else do it" I took his advice, and I did all sorts of things. I bought a secondhand big dish (10') system, for $300, and installed it, so we had satellite tv. That required digging in the ground, hitting a boulder, drilling into the boulder, inserting rebar, pouring concrete, and setting a pole, perfectly vertical. I mounted the dish, ran the cable to the house, drilled through the wall, ran more cable. I set up the receiver, I buried an earthing rod and ran cable for that too. I aligned the dish with the satellite, and got C-Band stations across the entire arc. I had never done anything like it. It stayed in place throughout the years, through all kinds of wind and weather. We got a lot of enjoyment out of it. It builds confidence to achieve things like that. I did many projects like it whilst we had the farm.

Anyway, I digress, again …

GST: no, that makes sense! I think this mindset is why programmers are considered engineers.

I think I've covered all of the ground I was interested in, so I'd like to wrap up this interview with a few final questions.

First, since you mentioned it earlier [EDITOR'S NOTE: this mention was moved to part 2], have you worked with the PICO-8 at all yet?

PH: I have not worked on the Pico-8 yet. I bought the app, and I have it running on a Powkiddy RGB30 handheld. Which is the ideal platform for it, as the screen is square, and just the right size. I've played a few games, and watched a few videos (e.g. Pico Playtime on YT), and I just like the whole concept. It would be a fun thing to try, and not too much of a stretch.

GST: Another recurring theme I noticed: it's kind of fascinating that you still have an archive of all of your project files from so long ago.

Were you actively trying to preserve everything at the time? Or was it just a recurring thought of "hmm, maybe I shouldn't delete this"?

PH: I definitely meant to backup the files to the CD in 1999. I am a bit of a digital packrat, I have podcasts (including all the raw files from my own podcast) and all-sorts of digital archives from years gone by, because I don't like to throw out digital stuff. I started putting the Sega directory on whatever was my latest computer, so I would have it on hand for reference. I don't know if Sega still keeps that stuff after all this time, I would guess not, since it has been so long. I am not sure how long the NDA lasts, so I would not release the code into the public domain without asking them first (I don't have any of the paperwork I signed for them any longer).

GST: And finally, to endcap this interview, I'd like to open up a space for you to talk about what you're up to these days. Any upcoming projects you'd like to promote?

PH: We skipped over AppDynamic, where I coded for the iOS apps: AirServer, AirMediaCenter, and RemoteHD. Largely bug fixes, and some minor feature updates. I discovered that coding on its own is still fun for me, not just games. Again, because it is puzzles to solve.

I also spent a year without work, in Iceland, in between jobs, which was a challenge, but very necessary. Before I returned to the US, for the sake of my partner, and my (grown) children.

The last bit of coding I did was on the Ethereum blockchain. A project for my daughter's company (now dissolved, I think). So I taught myself that too. It was kind of fun. When it was published the contract number had "1dad" in it (what are the odds of that?), so my daughter had a t-shirt made for me with the address on it. :)

These days I am continuing to collect items related to retro gaming. I got into emulation pretty heavily, with a view to experiencing older titles on newer machines (for ease/convenience), and preserving them too. I want to have my own little video game museum, which maybe I can pass on to generations that follow me. I have most consoles going all the way back to pong. I recently acquired a bunch of retro systems, including a Wii, Wii U, PS2 fat, PS Vita, and a 3DS. Some of the hardware is getting harder to find, I got the last two devices from Japan. I collect games on the PC too. I have over 1300 games on my gaming PC, for example. Even though I have mostly just played Fortnite (with my sister) and Destiny 2 (with my youngest daughter). I bought Return To Monkey Island, and played that all the way through with my partner, as I just love point and click adventures. I have many fond memories of playing those types of games in the past. I listen to music a lot, and I make playlists on YT, either based on mixes, or of my own choices (lately, select tracks from a single label). I watch a lot of movies, and have a personal collection of DVDs/Blu-rays in the thousands. I have archived those too, and converted to them MKV, for convenient playback on a mini PC running Kodi. I love old movies, it's like time travel. Fascinating to see how the world was, over 100 years ago, for example. And for the nostalgia factor, for the years I experienced myself.

So … video games, music, and movies. That takes up a lot of my time currently, since I am basically retired (for now).

We live in a one-person apartment (it's a bit cramped, to say the least), so I am always looking for a house, to make into a home for us. When I get that, I will be able to spread out a little/lot. Set up all my old systems like I used to have them (they are currently in tubs, on shelves). I want to set up a home theatre again, so I can have that full movie experience once more. The audio in particular was what I enjoyed (I still have the speakers from that). I would get a new projector though, as now there are 4k projectors for less than the $3,000 I paid for my 720p projector for my old home theatre. I want to set up my podcasting gear again, and do some more recording. I miss that, it was a lot of fun. I want to set up my dual Technics SL-1200 turntables too, and listen to all my vinyl again (for now, they are all sat here on shelves).

I definitely want to do more creating, I do miss that quite a bit. I have been consuming a lot lately, but producing very little. Be it music, art, audio or video. Certainly doing some coding too. Maybe Ed Annunziata and I can collaborate on something cool, just like the old days. I would love that.

#sega of america #paul hutchinson

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ahlulbaytnetworks · 2 years ago

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🍃🕊🍃 Appendix: If You Decide To Convert

Although this is an appendix, this section should not be regarded as an afterthought. It is merely serving a different purpose than the rest of the book. You may regard this section as a brief technical manual on what to do and the basics of what you need to know if you decide to become Muslim. This section contains some information on web sites and mailing addresses that are accurate at the time of writing but I can’t guarantee their accuracy for all future dates.

If you decide to be Muslim, this means that you believe that there is only one, indivisible God, and you believe in all the prophets sent by Him, including Prophet Muhammad (saw). You must state this belief to God. This is called Shahada and is stated as follows:

Ash hadoo an laa ilaahaa ilallaah [I bear witness that there is no god but Allah (one god)]

Ash hadoo anna Muhammadan Rasoollallah (I bear witness that Muhammad is the Prophet of Allah). If you state those two things with belief and conviction, you are Muslim.

The following may be added if you wish to declare that you have consciously decided to accept the Ja’fari school of thought with Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as) as the divinely appointed guide and ruler after the Holy Prophet.

Ash hadoo anna Alioon Wallioollah Wasiyo Rasoolillaah, Wa Khalifatahoo Bilaa Fasl [I bear witness that Ali is the successor appointed by Allah, inheritor of the Prophet, and the rightful ruler or Caliph (immediately after the Prophet)]

It is tradition to state your belief in the presence of a few Muslim witnesses, often in a mosque, but this is not required for your conversion to be valid before God. So, what’s next?

The information and instructions I will provide now are based on the Shia (Ja’fari) school of thought in Islam and may have slight variations from other schools. It is intended to be general to get you started and is not meant to be an authoritative set of instructions, as I am not at all qualified to be authoritative.

There are five roots of religion (Usool e deen) that are considered the major components of Shia Islamic belief. These are monotheism, justice of God, prophethood, imamat, and resurrection.

Monotheism – This is the belief in a single, indivisible God.

Justice of God – This is the belief that God is by nature just and fair.

Prophethood – This is the belief in all the prophets sent by God and their uniform message of guidance.

Imamat – This is the belief in maintainers and protectors of religion appointed by God, particularly the twelve appointed after the death of Prophet Muhammad (saw), including the Imam of our time. (as)

Resurrection – This is the belief in a life after death, including a Judgment Day and punishment or reward in hell or heaven.

Similarly, there are ten branches of religion (Furoo e deen) that are considered the major components of Islamic practice. These are salaat (the daily prayer), sawm (fasting), hajj (pilgrimage), zakat (tax on wealth), khums (tax on money),

Jihad (struggle), amr bil ma’ruf (enjoining good), nahi ‘anil munkar (forbidding evil), tawalla [loving the Prophet and his family (as)], and tabarra [disassociating with the enemies of the Prophet and his family (as)].

🍃🕊🍃 Prayer 🍃🕊🍃

The first major obligation once you become Muslim is the daily prayer. Most converts are very eager and stressed about knowing how to perform it correctly immediately. Following are some basic instructions to get you started with the daily prayer. You can hold this if necessary for awhile until you start to memorize things. When you get the chance, meet with someone who already knows the prayer and they can help you with the Arabic and little details, God willing. In the meantime, try to pray with concentration and when you prostrate place your forehead on soil, rock, wood, or blank paper.

The five daily prayers are as follows:

Morning prayer is two rakaats (cycles) performed approximately 70 minutes prior to sunrise.

Noon-ish prayer is 4 rakaats performed just after true noon (when the sun reaches the highest point in its path across the sky, or passes from the eastern half into the western half of the sky.)

Afternoon prayer is 4 rakaats performed anytime between the noon prayer and the evening prayer, with its ideal time when an object’s afternoon shadow just becomes longer than the object itself.

Evening prayer is 3 rakaats performed roughly 15 minutes to half an hour after sunset, when redness has left the western half of the sky.

And the night prayer is 4 rakaats performed after the evening prayer ideally when twilight is over, which is usually about one and a half hours after sunset.

Prior to praying you should perform wudhu, the ritual ablution. This is done by washing your hands with water, then covering the face with water from the top down. Then using your left hand, cover your right arm from the elbow to the finger tips with poured water, then using your right hand do the same to your left. Next, without getting new water, wipe the top of you head with the wetness on your right hand fingers (usually done in a parting in your hair), and finally, similarly wipe the top of your right foot with your wet right hand from toes to ankle, and likewise wipe your left foot with your left hand.

If you are a female just finishing your monthly cycle, or if you have had intercourse or a wet dream since your last prayer, or in a few other less likely cases, instead of performing wudhu, you should perform ghusl, which is a shower, prior to your prayer. This is usually performed by rinsing your head and neck area, then your right front all the way to your toes, then your right back, left front and left back so that your whole body is touched by running water. It is best to overlap your coverage area (do a little of the left front while washing your right front and vice versa) to guarantee coverage.

Also, whenever you use the toilet, you should rinse the affected area with water three times and make sure no more urine or feces are present. Men should learn how to perform istibra, which is a process of pushing out any left over urine from the urethra. Detailed instructions on wudhu, ghusl, istibra and so on may be found in books of Islamic laws such as “Islamic Laws” published by The World Federation and available online from .

Finally, before beginning, if you are a male you should make sure your privates are covered, or preferably from the navel to the knee (more is better). And if you are female everything should be covered but hands, face and feet.

Prayer is performed facing a house of worship to God built by Prophet Ibrahim (as) in Mecca. Look at a globe and find the shortest curve from your location to Mecca (a great circle) and that will show you which way to face in prayer. For North Americans, that is Northeast.

Prayer begins with Niyyat (You make an intention in your mind that you are praying so and so prayer for seeking nearness to Allah). Then recite takbir (saying Allahoo Akbar (God is greater than description, roughly, with hands held up by your ears). Then lower your arms to your sides.

1st cycle (rakat)

STANDING:

1) Recite Surah Fateha:

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Rahim (In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful)

Alhumdoolellaahi Rabbil Aalameen (Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds).

arrahmaan irraheem (the Compassionate, the Merciful)

maaliki yowm ideen (Owner/master of the day of Judgment)

iyaaka na’ boodoo wa iyyaaka nas taeen (Thee alone we worship and Thee alone we ask for help.)

ihdinas siraatal moostaqeem (Show us the straight path)

siraatal ladheena anamta alayhim (The path of those whom Thou hast favored)

ghayril maghdoobi alayhim waladhaalleen (Not the path of those who have earned Thine anger nor of those who have gone astray.)

2) Then recite any other surah of Qur’an. Probably the shortest and easiest, and one that is also highly recommended to recite, is Surah Ikhlas:

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem (In the name of Allah, the Compassionate the Merciful)

Qul hoo wallahoo ahad (Say: He is Allah, the One!)

Allaahus samad (Allah, the eternally besought of All!)

Lam yalid walam yoolad (He begetteth not nor was begotten)

walam yakool lahoo koofoo wan ahad (And there is none comparable to Him.)

3) Say Allaahoo Akbar again

BOWING (Bend forward with your hands on your knees, males keeping the knees unbent and ladies bending their knees slightly):

1) Say: Soobhaana rabbi al adheemi wabihamdih (Roughly, Glory be to my High Sustainer and I praise Him)

2) While going back to standing position: Sami’ Allahu liman hamidah (Allah hears and accepts the praise of one who praises)

3) While standing again briefly: Allahoo Akbar

PROSTRATING/SITTING:

1) After that Allahoo Akbar, go to the ground and put head, knees, toes, and palms on the ground (elbows usually recommended for women as well).

Say: Soobhana Rabbi al Aa’laa wa bihamdih (Glory be to my Great Sustainer, Most High, and I praise Him)

2) Go to sitting position, say Allahoo Akbar, then say Astaghfirullaahaa Rabbi wa atooboo ilayh [I seek forgiveness from Allah my Sustainer and I turn to Him (repent)] then Allahoo Akbar again

3) Repeat #1 (Soobhana Rabbi al Aa’laa wa bihamdih)

4) Sit up, say Allaahoo Akbar, and return to standing position while saying Bi haw lillaahi wa qoowwatihi aqoomoo wa aqa’ood (I stand and sit with the help and strength of Allah.)

THAT IS END OF RAKAT #1.

RAKAT #2

Perform like rakat #1, except for the addition of qunoot and the following modification to step#4 in

PROSTRATING/SITTING: (new parts are marked with asterix*)

*Qunoot: In the second rakat, after reciting the two surahs and before bowing, place you hands palms up, together at about chest level and say:

La ilaaha illallaahool halimool kareem (There is none worshipping but Allah, the Forbearing and Generous.) There are many other things you could say here, but that is a simple one to learn for starters. After qunoot, continue with the prayer as in the first rakat, with bowing.

Then in step 4) take note of these modifications:

Sit up, say Allahoo Akbar,

*Then say Al hamdoo lillaah, Ash hadoo an laa ilaha il Allahoo wah dahoo laa sharika lah (All praise is for Allah, and I testify that there is none worth worshipping except Allah, who is one and has no partner.)

*Then say: Wa Ash hadoo anna Muhammadan ‘abdoohoo wa Rasooloh (And I testify that Muhammad is His servant and messenger)

*Then say: Allah hoomma salli’ala Muhammadin wa aali Muhammad (O Allah, send your blessings on Muhammad and his progeny).

IF THIS IS NOT THE LAST RAKAT,

Then say: Bi haw lillaahi wa qoowwatihi aqoomoo wa aqa’ ood while standing up.

**IF THIS IS THE LAST RAKAT, SAY THE FOLLOWING TO END THE PRAYER, WHILE STILL IN SITTING POSITION:

*Assalaamoo alayka ayyoohan Nabiyyoo wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatoh (O Prophet, Allah’s peace, blessings and grace be upon you!)

Assalamoo ‘alayna wa ‘ala ibaadillaahis saaliheen (Allah’s peace be on us, and all pious servants of Allah)

Assalaamoo ‘alaykoom wa rahmatoollaahi wa barakaatoh (Allah’s peace, blessings and grace be on you.)

IF IT IS NOT THE LAST RAKAT CONTINUE AS FOLLOWS:

3RD & 4TH RAKAT:

Just like 1st rakat except for the Standing part:

STANDING:

1) While standing say either Surah Fateha or the following, which is most recommended:

Subhaanallaahi wal hamdoo lillaahi wa laa ilaahaa illallahoo wallaahoo akbar (Glory be to Allah, and praise be to Allah, there is no God but Allah and He is greater than description)

You may say this once, or three times.

IF THIS IS THE LAST RAKAT, SEE INSTRUCTIONS IN RAKAT #2 MARKED WITH THE ** SIGN TO END SALAAT.

There are online prayer and wudhu instructions at http://www.playandlearn.org/Fiqh/index.htm>.

Also, you can purchase video instructions from Idara e Jaferia in Maryland. Their tape is distributed by Khatoons Inc., 6650 Autumn Wind Circle, Clarksville MD 21029 USA and online at http://www.khatoons.com.

You can usually obtain a prayer timetable to get the most accurate local times for prayer from a mosque in your area, or download computer software that calculates prayer time and direction from this site: http://www.ais.org/~islam/subject/praytime.html>.

Now, continuing with the Branches of Religion:

🍃🕊🍃 Fasting 🍃🕊🍃

During the month of Ramadhan Muslims are required to fast from about a half-hour prior to the morning prayer until the time for the evening prayer. The month of Ramadhan on the Islamic calendar cycles throughout the seasons with a nice result that no matter where you live you will get to experience long days and short days of fasting over the years. For those living in extreme northern or southern locales so that they may not experience any sunrise or sunset in a 24-hour period, they follow the timings of another, less extreme location. Fasting means no eating, drinking, intercourse, immoral behavior, etc. People who have medical reasons for not fasting are exempted but should donate the equivalent of a meal to charity for days when they miss a required fast. Also, menstruating women do not fast but make up missed fasts at a later date.

The month of Ramadhan is a time of spiritual renewal and there are many special prayers during this time. If you need to know when the month of Ramadhan is likely to begin, please visit the following website: .

🍃🕊🍃 Pilgrimage 🍃🕊🍃

Every individual with the physical and financial means is obliged to perform the pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in his/her lifetime. It is a very spiritual and exciting event that happens once a year. Its rituals are generally related to events involving the Prophet Ibrahim (as), and are designed for spiritual reflection and renewal. If you plan to go you should read up on it first and make your arrangements through an established hajj travel organization that is based on the particular school of Islam that you follow.

🍃🕊🍃 Zakat and Khums 🍃🕊🍃

Muslims who possess certain things like amounts of gold, grain or livestock are required to give a percentage of their wealth, usually 5 or 10% to the needy. Since most people don’t have the wealth to have to pay this, I won’t go into a lot of detail. However, all Muslims are likely to have to pay Khums, the other kind of charity tax. Khums is a tax of 20% on your surplus earnings. Let’s say that at the end of this month after paying all your expenses you have $500 in unused goods and/or money in the bank. Next year, you should take new account of your surplus earnings. If it is less or the same, you do not have to pay khums, and you record the new amount of surplus for comparison with the following year. If you have more, then you pay khums on the difference. For example, if you have $600, the difference is $100 and 20% of that is $20, so you owe khums of $20 dollars. This money should be sent to people and organizations who have been given authority to accept and/or distribute khums money.

🍃🕊🍃 Jihad 🍃🕊🍃

This is the struggle for Allah (swt), discussed in the main portion of the book.

🍃🕊🍃 Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil 🍃🕊🍃

These are the practices of encouraging each other to do good deeds and avoid sin.

🍃🕊🍃 Tawalla and Tabarra 🍃🕊🍃

These are the practices conforming your heart and behavior to standards that demonstrate your love and devotion to the Prophet and his family (as). And conforming your heart and behavior to standards that demonstrate that you are not like and do not associate with those who act as enemies of the Prophet and his family (as).

Those are all the branches of religion, but, there are some other acts that are compulsory, such as observing the Islamic modest dress and avoiding consumption of certain foods/drinks. For women, as mentioned in the main portion of the book, this standard of dress requires covering all but hands and face in loose clothing.

Muslims do not allow any intoxicating substances into their bodies, do not eat pork, and otherwise only eat meat that is permissible according to the Qur’an and has been slaughtered in an Islamic manner. This meat is obtained from special stores and is called halal meat. There is a directory of Islamic clothing retailers (for men, children and women) at:

and a directory of halal meat grocers/restaurants at

http://www.geocities.com/~iaba/res.html>.

For the sake of not becoming overwhelming, God willing, I will conclude the appendix at this point. If you are ready for more information, refer to the suggested reading list, contact Muslims in your area, or examine the following recommendations:

🍃🕊🍃 The Islamic Correspondence Course

Contact: Islamic Education and Information Center 5359 Timberlea Blvd., Unit 52

Mississauga, Ontario L4W 4N5

Canada

Phone 905-212-9676 Fax 905 212-9690

This is a 50 lesson postal mail course that is very nice. The first six lessons are free so that you can see if you are interested. After that, there is a one-time fee to help cover the postage costs.

The World Islamic Network book club

Contact: World Islamic Network

67/69 H. Abbas (as) Street

Dongri, Mumbai 400 009 India

e-mail: [email protected]

This is an organization that distributes Islamic literature for free to anyone who asks. In order to receive more literature after the first shipment, you need to write a summary/commentary of what you read and send it back to them by post.

May Allah (swt) guide us all on the straight path and grant us the good of this world and the hereafter.

🍃🕊🍃 al-Islam.org 🍃🕊🍃

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