#how to write in third person
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3hks · 11 days ago
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A Quick(ish) Comprehensive Guide to Writing in Third Person Limited
When we write, one of the very first aspects we consider is the perspective of the story. Is it in first person? Second person? Third person? Third person point-of-view is arguably the most flexible perspective, but that also makes it difficult to fully grasp and harness.
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INTRODUCTION
Let's begin with the fundamental questions: what is third person and why do people use it?
> What is Third Person POV?
Third person POV is simply a narrative style in which the narrator has a broader view of all the characters and their thoughts. Unlike first person, which is seen through the eyes of one person, calling for the use of pronouns such as I, me, or my, third person uses pronouns such as he, she, or they to refer to everyone, including themselves. As the reader, we aren't meshed into the main character and viewing the story that way. Instead, we're moreso hovering from above and observing collective events, actions, and even thoughts.
There are three MAIN types of this perspective: third person omniscient, third person objective and third person limited.
Omniscient is where the narrator knows everything about the characters, events, and emotions, revealing many, if not all, of these aspects of the readers.
Objective is when the narrator focuses solely on the actions and behaviors of the characters, without providing insight to thoughts or emotions. It's an objective narration style.
Limited is where the narrator focuses on one character (which would likely be the protagonist) and centers the story around that character.
> Why Use Third Person?
To put it simply, third person can allow you to write more. You have access to multiple POVs and there is often less bias. In first person, the narrator is the character, which can cause warped views influenced by their bias.
However, for third person, the narrator is an external voice (oftentimes you), so while there can be some bias depending on the character you're hovering, there is significantly less.
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THE BASICS
In this post, I won't be talking too much about third person omniscient because it's more uncommon in writing. Instead, I will be talking about a popular variant of third person limited in which we use the POVs of multiple characters one at a time.
> Using the Correct Pronouns
In first person, we use the pronouns "I, me, my, we, etc." to describe the narrator. In second person, we use the pronouns "you, your, etc." to describe the protagonist. In third person, we use the pronouns "she, he, they, etc." to describe the protagonist.
Avoid using first or second person pronouns unless you're writing thoughts or dialogue.
> Making the POV Clear
Since we're using the perspectives of different characters (at different times), it's imperative to clarify who the perspective belongs to. You can do this simply by listing the POV before writing the part or by starting a new paragraph, which begins with a sentence starting in active voice by the focused character.
EXAMPLES
Lexi's POV: She was astounded when she realized that... V.S. Lexi was astounded when she realized that...
Both examples are in third person and evidently centered around Lexi.
> Be Consistent
Be consistent with pronouns; unless you're writing thoughts and/or dialogue, make sure you're always using third person pronouns to address everything. It's easy to let it slip, but it's important not to.
Ex:
WRONG: She stares at the mirror. My hair is kind of messy, so I grab the brush. CORRECT: She stares at the mirror. Her hair is kind of messy, so she grabs the brush.
Another thing to consider is keeping the type of third person POV consistent. If you're writing in third person limited, don't suddenly switch to omniscient. Granted, many readers may not be able to identify this kind of mistake, but it's good to practice consistency!
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GENERAL TIPS
Now, let's discuss some general ideas to keep in mind when writing in third person limited.
> Use Names
You might be thinking what? No duh I have to use names, but I'm being dead serious. In third person, you might find yourself writing out names of characters more often than when you might be using first person. This is because pronouns get confusing. If there are two girls talking, then which one is 'she'? Remember that your protagonist is also an outside character.
Use names, use different ways to identify people (the taller student, the younger employee, etc.), because even if you know who is who, the readers might not.
> Objectiveness
One of the pros of using third person to storytell is the objectiveness that it grants. First person comes with many biases, which can warp how the reader views the characters, actions, and events of the story.
However, in third person, you want your narrator to be as unbiased as possible. Be objective. Describe things as they are. Sure, sometimes a character's opinion might influence the story, but it shouldn't be too excessive.
> Be Descriptive
I'm sure I've said this only about one million times now, but third person POV is broad. You can talk about anyone, anything, and you can even explain events unrelated and outside of your protagonist's bubble, which you normally can't do in first person.
So be descriptive. You don't have to worry about how a specific may view something because we're in third person. There's so much more for you to describe, you just have to take advantage of it.
You can describe your protagonist's enemy with both distaste and detached neutrality; you can describe minute details of a tree without making your main character seem overdramatic--you just have to do it.
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ADDITIONAL TIPS
> When to Change Perspectives
In third person limited POV, it's common and often necessary to change the character the narrator hovers around. This is because only following the protagonist is, well, quite limited. So, when do we change which character we follow?
Show Events Outside of the Protagonist: If you have part of the cast (such as the antagonist) that's taking action outside of what the MC is aware of, and you want to show what's happening, this is a good time to switch perspectives! ----
Show Different Reactions to the Same Event: Let's say an intense incident just occurred that affected multiple people. Switching perspectives here can be quite useful because it allows you to show how different characters handle and view the same situation. This also helpful because it gives the reader deeper insight to the characters!
> Incorporating Character
I talked about this alone in a separate post, but I'll reiterate it again. Many people believe that third person POV is less interesting because there's "less personality" in its writing compared to first person.
This is mainly due to the standard objectivity that comes with third person, but it doesn't mean you can't include hints of character within your writing outside of dialogue and thoughts.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to word choice and a bit of sentence structure. Different words and phrases have different connotations, and though it seems like a very subtle detail to focus on, it does impact your writing.
Try to use vocabulary that fits the character you're hovering. Vocabulary that they might use.
If you're writing from the perspective of an angrier character, maybe you'll use cruder language during their section. If it's a more dramatic character, perhaps you'll use more theatrical language and flowy sentence structures mixed with choppy ones.
EX:
1. He felt stupidly annoyed at the man's assumptions. 2. He felt irritated at the man's assumptions. 3. He felt fed up with the man's assumptions.
Those three examples all have similar meanings and identical sentence structures. However, you'll notice that there are slightly different connotations per each sentence.
For number one, it sounds like the character is upset that he's so annoyed. This offers the idea that the character feels he shouldn't be as annoyed as he is, quietly hinting that he isn't the type to get ruffled easily or at least, not towards such assumptions.
For number two, the statement is very direct. The character is irritated. He might not be as displeased as number one or three, but he is still annoyed. However, the forwardness of the statement might suggest that he's a pretty straightforward guy who's expresses his emotions frankly.
Lastly, for number three, the character sounds more tired and possibly angry. He's done with the assumptions. It can be assumed that he's the type who's more likely to take action than the other two.
Now, these are really simple examples, but you can see that the word changes do slightly alter the meaning of the sentence and evoke separate emotions based on the character of the perspective's owner.
If the character uses the word "excessively" instead of "very," we might think that the character is more eloquent.
Yes, all of these descriptions technically belong to the narrator, but there's no linear way to write the narrator. In this case, they act like a mirror, reflecting the voice of the character.
CONCLUSION
We're at the end! This was a MUCH larger post than I expected to write, so kudos to anyone who's read more than 50% of this LOL.
All in all, third person POV isn't actually terribly difficult to get the hang of. You'll need some practice, as with anything, but you'll understand it better the more you work on it--with or without my help!
The biggest point is to make sure your pronouns are in check. Don't use "I, me, my or you, yours, you're" unless you're writing dialogue or thoughts!
Hope this has been helpful! Reach out to me for any questions; I'd love to answer them!
Happy writing~
3hks <3
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ao3-shenanigans · 3 months ago
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apparently people don't really like first person pov, but that's the style of writing that feels natural to me. first person, present tense. do you know why that is, so i can maybe make my fic more appealing to audiences that aren't usually drawn to that style?
It’s usually because we experience canon content (tv shows and films mostly) through the third person, so first person fanfiction feels alien to read and leaves a much smaller margin for mischaracterization as first person is such an intimate perspective- which isn’t always something that readers care about, but it stands out significantly more.
Some forms of written media, such as novels that were originally written in first person can translate into first person fanfiction a lot easier because it is the form and perspective the audience is most familiar interacting with the media.
I am at risk of telling you to abandon the writing style you enjoy in order to get more interaction, which I don’t want to do. If your goal is to try things other than first person, I’d suggest getting good at writing first person and maybe experiment with third or second on short projects (one shots or the like) to see if there are additional forms you enjoy, like an artist mixing medias. You can also try first-past, third-present, or even second person future tense!
Perhaps try working third person segments into a narrative frame, such as interludes between first person journal entries.
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vechter · 18 days ago
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post-dickbats :)
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jeonstellate · 4 months ago
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welcome to another edition of i shouldn’t be thinking of my fic right now, but another brainworm just found its way into my head because apparently the first one is just a precursor for more editions ( ͒•·̫|
today’s edition is still peter parker in gotham, except jason isn’t the one who knew him first. nor does this involve my typical jason-batfam knowledge transfer. nor does peter first “manifest” in gotham.
rather, what if some other justice league member finds him first? and, by some mishap/mundane situation or another, that particular jl member brings him to gotham with them?
the jl members i’m most familiar with (sans bruce) are clark, diana, and barry, so they’re the only ones i got scenarios for:
diana/wonder woman
it is my personal headcanon that aunt may is themyscira-born who left for one reason or another
or maybe bana-mighdall native
but, either way, amazonian
something tragic happens to aunt may (worst case scenario: death), which leaves peter without a guardian
diana steps up to care for him, in memory of/as favor for a dear friend
and ta-da~ that’s how peter ends up under her wing
one day, diana needs to go somewhere she can’t take peter along and needs someone to watch over him
and who else is the best choice if not the man with, like, ten kids and the most secured house?
that’s right: bruce/batman
so there peter is: in gotham, in the wayne manor, surrounded by people who can’t stop looking at him
and, worse, who don’t leave him tf alone
honestly peter is a little freaked
he’s just sitting there, desperately wishing for his aunt diana to come back asap
he’s not much of a prayer, but he’s literally praying to diana’s father zeus if he can help her finish whatever she’s doing quickly so she can come back for him asap
peter’s thoughts: aunt diana pick me up i’m scared (ಥ﹏ಥ) these people are weird (ಥ﹏ಥ)
meanwhile, batfam is under bruce’s orders to make peter feel at home and to keep him safe if they don’t wanna feel wonder woman’s wrath lmao
of course, they’re also working on figuring out why peter looks really familiar . . .
clark/superman
i actually thought of two scenarios for clark
first: peter is a new photographer intern for the daily planet, assigned to shadow either him, lois, or both
him and lois emotionally adopted him because why not? peter is a lovely kid, clumsiness and all
(planting seeds for maximum chaos)
as their intern, they tag him along when they’re out in the field
which includes the day they covered a story in gotham
of course, as countless of fanfics foretold, batfam is in chaos once they catch a glimpse of the intern in question
because why does he resemble two of them their eldest???
peter ends up taking a picture of all the wayne children present since they’re all gathered in one corner
clark eventually sends that photo to bruce, who frames and hangs it somewhere in the manor
none the wiser that peter took that photo mainly to point out to clark and lois that those people kept watching him while he was doing his job
(i’m sorry, but the thought of bruce having to fight lois for custody/visitation rights just made me laugh)
second: mama kent is the first one to take peter in
peter somehow crash lands near the kent farm
mama kent checks it out, sees him there, and gets reminded of the day clark came into their lives (even if he isn’t aboard a ship nor is he a baby)
the next time clark visits, there’s a child — teenager? — that’s helping his ma and pa around the house
and apparently the child/teenager in question is now enrolled in the same school he used to go to
clark is understandably flabbergasted
he’s wary of peter at first, but the latter grows on him eventually
not sure how he ends up bringing peter to gotham in this scenario, but trust that he somehow does
it’s highly likely that bruce is the first to know of peter from all the bats, and ergo the first one to investigate and connect the dots
whether he’s the one to break the news to the rest is debatable, though
barry/the flash
bear with me on this one because all my barry allen knowledge is from the early season’s of cw’s the flash
it’s not an amalgamation of different medias like for diana and clark, sadly
anyway . . . simply put: peter is part of team flash, as their biochemistry intern-turned-expert
he’s one of barry’s guy-in-the-chair, if you will
barry doesn’t usually need anyone else in his ear when he’s working with the league
but for the newest case, he does — and everyone votes for peter
or he insists to be picked, definitely one of those
for security reasons, he wears a domino mask before barry speeds them to the temporary base
he originally wanted a full-faced one, but caitlin said that’d be too much, so— there he is
unbeknownst to peter, he catches batman’s eyes
because — surprise, surprise — he resembles his first robin, especially with that domino mask on
peter, for a reason or another, ends up getting hurt during the mission
it’s not critical, thankfully, but it’s bad enough that speeding him back to central city will be dangerous
batman insists to treat him in the cave, which conveniently happens to be closer than the watch tower
barry agrees, mostly because there’s no other choice . . . and because he has to prioritize what’s best for his team’s beloved youngest
tl;dr: what if instead of manifesting directly in gotham, peter first appears somewhere else, where the jurisdiction belongs to a different justice league member? the same member who, by some fate or another, ends up taking him in and ultimately bring him to gotham?
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lemonyinks · 17 days ago
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In case you were wondering, Jiang Cheng has never once raised a hand to his nephew, nor has he ever thought about it.
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chap 10
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chap 81
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chap 99
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chap 102
And I'm positive Jin Ling knows with absolute certainty that his uncle would never hurt him; he has never been scared of his uncle, not even once.
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chap 35
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chap 47
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chap 110
Don't let anyone tell you Jiang Cheng is abusive when it's just not something supported by canon at all in any way shape or form. He is literally the best uncle in the whole world. I cannot for the life of me see why other people seem to think otherwise...
#mdzs#jiang cheng#jin ling#abuse tw#tw abuse#tw child abuse#sarcasm aside i do mean this with the utmost honesty: i don't deny that jiang cheng loves jin ling#because he does#I acknowledge that his uncle deeply cares about and loves him#but what worth is that love when this is how he treats him?#that love does negate the harm and damage he does to him#side note; you ever realize that the scene where jin guangyao is like ''oh you're the one who loves/spoils him the most''#is a scene that people try to use to defend the abuse a lot#but jin ling is scared he's going to have the crap beat out of him there. he is LITERALLY cowering behind his other uncle#and jin guangyao only said that in the first place to placate jiang cheng's man child ass so that he was less likely TO hit that child😒#it is so much more interesting to look at their dynamic for what it was in the actual novel and dissect the cycle of abuse jc perpetuates#instead of pretending like everything was perfect and jiang cheng was the best uncle he could have been#when he was in reality a sorry excuse for a guardian#i would LOVE to read/write a fic or see other fanworks that explore jiang cheng trying to make real amends to jin ling#for the harm he caused in his upbringing#because the love is there and i do think he wants to do right by that kid now that he's finally realized what a loser he's been#jiang cheng is NOT the uncle you think he is but he COULD BE something similar if you actually gave him the chance#instead of erasing all of his wrong doings#and before anyone tries the “well ifs from wwx's pov so some of this is unreliable”#i want you to go ahead and do me a favour by googling “third person omniscient”
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employee052 · 8 months ago
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idk, crowsx3 design??? sdkjfh
the heads are all made of porcelain, and can rotate like that one horror short film with kevan brighting voicing in it
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thereareeyesinsidethetrees · 4 months ago
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ford: would you be interested in a dd&md campaign where nothing bad happens whatsoever
stan: what’s the fun in that?
ford: the escape from our chronic depression
stan: …can i raid a dragon’s hoard or somethin
ford: you can. you can even mock the dragon so hard it dies
stan: holy shit yeah i’m in
#one aspect of gravity falls ae’m iffy about: the way d&d is treated. rant incoming#it’s all math and rules and graphs and like ae get the whole point is that they shouldn’t mock dipper just for loving something they don’t#Mbut also like???#yeah no shit they’re not interested. you didn’t show them ANY of the aspects they might actually be into#where’s the crafting? the creating of characters? the worldbuilding? the harassing innocent npcs?#idk maybe ae’m inexperienced but ae have never seen a d&d campaign that uses fuckin graphs#because that’s NOT THE APPEAL ALEX.#the appeal is the escapism. it’s the being able to dive into a fantastical world#it’s the getting to defeat enemies. it’s the being the underdog. it’s the earning a victory. it is the friends we made along the way#and like?? fuck man. ae get the part of the fandom that’s like ‘i don’t get why people write fics making stan and mabel play dd&md’#‘they made it clear they don’t like it’#but damn it have you ever seen a fic like that that’s about the graphs and math and giant rule book?#hell most fics we’ve seen like that use homebrewed campaigns. as in ‘FUCK THE RULE BOOK WE DO THIS OUR WAY’#ae just. ae’m starting to understand why people don’t like that episode#what was the point? to not mock dipper anymore? we’ve had like three episodes about that already#they missed an opportunity to make an episode focused in bonding#an episode that could have explored ford and stan’s strained relationship more#because stan and mabel would have loved the creative aspects of d&d so much#mabel loves crafts! she would have had so much putting together little figurines or a set!#and stan- can you imagine how much fun he would have had with the npcs?#and with the creation of characters! he fuckin loves storytelling!!#ae’m. ae’m sad now. they had an opportunity to bring everyone together through a game that has something for each of them to love#and instead we got ‘we should stop bullying dipper for the third time’ and ‘you can tell they don’t like each other-#-because stan still won’t say ford’s name’#can you imagine if instead of ‘stan throws a hissy fit and nearly gets ford and dipper killed’ we got ‘ford and stan get REALLY into the ga#and their characters and situations start to get kind of personal’?#like! imagine if they had all gotten stuck in the game and the stans had to work together to save everyone#but they still have unresolved issues that they start to work through at the end and thus the episode ends with a hopeful note#like. they share a moment like in the finale when ford and stan smile at each other after the bus leaves#don’t tell us they got a ‘starting to communicate and resolve issues’ moment in the finale because that shit was rushed as hell
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stellamancer · 2 months ago
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selfship coded. in reference to this so the very itti-bittiest hsr 3.2 spoilers. choosing to roll with this dynamic and characterization for sunday (roast).
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"I never pegged you for a kiss up."
Sunday's ear wings quiver every so slightly before he turns toward you, expression smoothed over with a smile. A sense of deja vu washes over you, but you blink it away. As much as Sunday is working toward changing himself, there are still remnants of the former Oak Family head, such as this practiced look. 
"I don't know what you're talking about," he says evenly. "I was merely giving the esteemed madam a compliment." 
"A backhanded one?" you ask dryly. 
"Is that how it seemed to you?" 
"I'm very used to the way you talk, you know," you say with a sigh. Or rather, you're acquainted enough with Sunday's unique brand of eloquently phrased snark that you could pick it out in a heartbeat.
Sunday hums. "Is that so?" 
You give him a deadpan stare and wonder idly if Mr. Yang would mind if you tossed him from the space station into outer space. Again, you sigh. "Besides, I don't think I know anyone as calm and collected as you."
While you think Sunday has been making an effort to genuinely learn humility, you know full well that he's self-aware— actually, had he not said that you would have nearly taken his words at face value. 
"... should I take that as a compliment?" 
Normally, the answer would be yes, right? For any other person, definitely, but for him... 
"No." The word comes out of your mouth unintentionally. You'd meant to give him a more vague, noncommittal sort of answer, but you suppose this sort of obstinacy is hardwired into your brain now. 
"Oh?"
Guess you need to own up to it now. "I think it'd do you some good to unlearn some of those control freak tendencies that keep you so calm and collected."
There's a familiar flicker in Sunday's gaze and he gives you a soft but strained chuckle. It’s obvious he doesn’t completely agree with the notion. You wonder if he’ll tell you outright. “I’ll… consider it.”
"No, you won't," you say immediately, clocking the lie.
His eyes widen a fraction, and this time, when he smiles, it’s a little more genuine. "I guess you're right; I won't."
You knew it. 
"But..." he adds slowly, his ear wings curling slightly toward his face as his voice grows soft. "I will try.”
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3hks · 4 months ago
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Adding Personality Into 3rd Person
Some people find third person point-of-view boring in comparison to first person because "it lacks character". Well, I'm here to tell you that's not true! You can most definitely infuse personality into your 3rd person limited narrative (beyond just thoughts and dialogue); it's SUPER easy, and I'm here to inform you how!
For starters, identify the character that's being focused on in the story. More often than not, it'll be your main character, but that's not always the case. Sometimes, the perspective shifts.
The key here is to pretend like it's that character who's telling the story. They're narrating themselves, like in 1st person, only, y'know, it's in 3rd.
Why does this matter?
Words, words, words. How we use them determines not only our story, but also the mood and tone, which is crucial to understand right now. With that being said, the vocabulary used can both subtly and blatantly add personality to your writing!
For example, let's say the "focused character" is more likely to use the word "super", instead of "very" or "really", so they use it once or twice when "narrating".
The sky was super dark that night.
The mirror was super shiny.
The man looked super suspicious.
And guess what? That's already adding your character's voice INTO the text! The use of the word "super" added a more childish tone to the text, avoiding what otherwise could have been rather flat.
Let's look at some more examples:
❀ Maybe your character is more serious. This might lead to a more "standard" style of storytelling, but it's something nonetheless!
❀ Maybe your character is more negative, so their pessimistic viewpoint may affect and/or warp the actual, objective situation!
❀ Maybe your character LOVES a certain show(s), so they occasionally drop references when comparing stuff!
So, if you ever feel like your writing is getting a bit plain or repetitive, this might help you out!
Happy writing~
3hks <3
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whattheskyknows · 3 months ago
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I've finished the full draft of the next chapter of Transfer Motive and I'm very excited to fix it up and post it!!! Aiming for it to be fully finished sometime next week?? Depends if I suddenly want to rewrite an entire scene or something!!!
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beesgav · 1 year ago
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Since he built the Arcadia seemingly from nothing I think it stands to reason that Tochiro also programmed its operating system
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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 8 months ago
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My hot take is that marcanne has as much potential for toxic yuri as any other calamity trio ship and it's not nearly as soft and fluffy as one may think
#amphibia#marcanne#anne boonchuy#marcy wu#in one hand: marcy kidnapped her. by giving her AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT something that was meant to benefit HER#(yes she didn't know it would work but the point is that she thought about herself first. even though it was her best friend's birthday)#she never wanted to come back. she wanted to keep her with her forever. she was happiest when they were together#most importantly she saw what she did as a good thing. as something good that she gave to her#yet still lied to her. After what happened with Sasha#she still lied to her. became another person to betray Anne#then she fucking died for her 😭😭😭#on the other hand. you have anne#she looked after her. she certainly loved her. but she didn't care much about the things that were important to marcy#nor did she care about her feelings or needs. she and sasha third-wheeled her for years#even though marcy came first#she could only really see her once sasha was gone#you have to remove her from the equation for both of them to flourish and connect#because the shadow of sasha's abuse oppressed them for so long. anne and marcy reuniting in S2 looked a lot like two people escaping#abuse together. healing together. coming into their own. becoming better people. they get to know themselves and each other much more deeply#now that they're free. only - they aren't free. they're constantly thinking about sasha. when sasha comes back they welcome her#they reproduced the toxic patterns she left of them#though i'll recognize that in anne's case she healed a lot more from sasha's toxicity than marcy#and you can see that in how her way of relation to marcy is a lot healthier than marcy's way of relating to anne#anne is now truly and genuinely connecting to her friend. marcy is still lying to her#pushing down her feelings. ignoring her own needs. pretending everything is okay. lying lying lying#anne was the only one who could escape but marcy couldn't quite move on yet. she couldn't be free#hope this makes sense i'm writing it at 4am i'll delete tomorrow if i realize it sounds dumb
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glowingghosty · 10 months ago
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guy wakes up in a place he recognizes but doesn't know why or how he got there. he's a bit confused but he lives out the next few hours just like he normally would, just a bit dazed. but once he goes to sleep, it immediately restarts back to where he woke up.
he realizes this is a time loop... but something is different about it.
he realizes pretty quickly that this is some sort of dreamscape. it's a time loop, but for some reason, things around him do change, and he can pretty easily change things too just by thinking of them, like a lucid dream. but he always wakes up in media res once it gets to some sort of end point, and no one else around him remembers previous loops.
as he's trying to figure out what the goal is to end the loop, he's suddenly thrown for a loop when he's attacked and killed by someone he's never seen before. he wakes back up, shaken, but at least it was something new and out of his control.
he starts to go about as he had been but is killed again. faster and faster, sooner and sooner after he wakes up, he's killed by increasingly horrifying ways, all because of this other dude. finally, it stops when he manages to get a word in to the other guy before he's killed. turns out this guy is also in the time loop, and our guy was the first thing he saw that was different. thinking he was the test, or had something to do with it, he attacked him. his time was reset, so he knew he was onto something, hence the repeat killings. he was obviously taking this a lot harder than the first guy.
they decided to work together and figure out a way to stop the loop. they could both affect things with their lucidity and they tested what they could do. they could do a lot, though none of it seemed to matter. if one of them died, or got to some sort of "end point," they'd both reset. they slowly stopped really trying to get out and started just enjoying their time. they imagined things they'd always wanted to experience or see, and it would happen. it was fun.
eventually, they started noticing a certain girl was around more than any other person. she didn't seem to also be in a time loop, but she wouldnt completely forget who they were with each reset, either. they decided to befriend her and bring her along because it was nice to have company after all this time. she enjoyed the experiences they were conjuring but didn't find it incredibly impossible like a real life person would at seeing what was essentially magic. typical dream-based character acceptance behavior.
at one point, they're sitting on the pavement of a parking lot watching the sunset they thought up of, just talking casually. guy one notices that the sunset starts moving backward and forward in time, rhythmically, preventing the sun from setting. things would "escape" their control sometimes, but he realized the sun was going up and down at the same rhythm that the girl was rocking back and forth. she simply looked upon it in calm awe, not acknowledging that she may be influencing it. before guy one could say anything, guy two reached past him and shot her in the head.
time did not reset.
things went on, as much as it does in a dreamscape time loop, and they had settled into some kind of pattern of normalcy. most days they didn't even talk about trying to get out of there. they were able to carve some comfort out of their situation.
eventually, guy two runs up to guy one with the girl. he's excited and says he's thought of another thing to try to get them out. he says they just need to get into a truck and drive backwards really fast. confused, guy one asks why he thinks this would work at all. guy two says he has no idea. he just knows it'll work. he has a feeling.
so they go to an open nature area with a long road and conjure up a pickup truck. guy two is driving, with guy one in the passenger seat and the girl in the small backseat. guy two revs up and barrels backwards, whooping and celebrating the stunt, saying they're getting out of here.
guy one sees the trees whip by. they go over a bridge crossing a lake. the sky is bright with sun. he looks at guy two. his eyes are wild, his mouth in a gruesome open smile as he hollers. the girl in the backseat simply looked on in ignorant bliss.
guy one knew then.
he opened his door and jumped out, tucking and rolling. as he did, he thought about the truck barreling backwards off a cliff. when he stopped and got up, he saw just that. time slowed as the truck lost traction with the road and started to soar. guy two's face fell as he saw guy one standing there, looking down at them from the edge, face solemn. a look of shocked realization spread across his face as he descended towards the ground below.
then i woke up with a splitting headache. so. i guess i escaped the time loop???
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sodrippy · 4 months ago
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i lovvvve when authors stretch out a sentence into a paragraph and bombard you with commas i love when you cant catch your breath as you read and it forces you to feel the same tension and scattered panic as the character its such an effective tool ugh
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celestialtrolls · 5 months ago
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A Letter of Recommendation
Angel || Past || ~650 words
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When living in the countryside, with an extremely long commute to her school in the nearest town, Angel usually stayed on the school grounds for as long as the gates were open, taking advantage of the internet connection and waiting for the rush hour to end before even thinking about packing her bags.
This usually led to her being the only student left, and often she would be asked to move to sit in the headmistresses' office so that she wasn't left unattended as all the other teachers went home.
And so it had become routine, and usually the evenings consisted of sitting in a comfortable silence. The elder would be taking care of her business, filing documents or writing reports, and Angel would work on essays or research.
This evening, about halfway through her final school year, was a little different however. Earlier in the day, as the headmistress had been making her rounds into each of the classrooms, she had placed an envelope on Angel's desk.
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"A military university? Sorry Miss Diniav, but I'm not really interested in fighting."
"There's more to our fleet than just shooting at enemies. There are logistics, supply, developing technology, public relations - You would benefit from moving to a capital and attending."
The tealblood doesn't look up from her laptop as Myraki stands over her, typing away at an essay that is demanding her attention - an analysis into a series of cases led by a famous legislacerator of the past, a topic Angel had become intimately familiar with since choosing it for some of her coursework.
"Law is very competitive for tealbloods, and I have no doubt that you would succeed in the field, but you're bright enough that you could go into any industry. Everyone who graduates this university gets a position in the fleet - and a good position, if they seek it. Ones that pay more, are less dangerous, and you wouldn't have to work so hard as this."
A sweeping gesture at the laptop and the pile of books and folders on the desk punctuates the violet's sentence, and silence falls in the room as the keyboard taps pause. It's hard to discern Angel's expression through the curtain of hair covering the majority of her face, but her lips are pressed into a frown.
"You don't think I should be working hard?" Despite the frown, her speech on it's own is light, almost a laugh behind her voice.
"Don't misinterpret me on purpose." In contrast, the headmistress's tone is sharp enough to cut fabric, but Angel doesn't seem fazed. "But your teachers have expressed concern that you have allowed yourself to have an undeveloped social ability due to your uncanny focus on study. You're never seen speaking to your peers. You would benefit from a field where you are able to learn to balance your schedule."
Angel lifts her head, the frown now wider. Of all people to lecture her about 'social connection', she did not expect it to be the headmistress who had come into the school to straighten everyone out and focus on academics. On second thought however, the fact that she had been former Fleet, working in teams and with people working under her...
It makes sense that even she sees the value of other people. Annoying.
"I spoke to some of my former colleagues in Druzhale, and with my recommendation and a high score in the entrance exam, you could get a scholarship and move to the city. It is very rare for people from outside the city to get a placement there, do you understand? You will consider it."
The atmosphere in the room after such a lecture was heavy, and Angel did not begin typing again. Words gathered on her tongue, despite not being sure of how she felt, how she should feel, but sitting on a convoluted mix; maybe somewhere between anger and pride. But she swallows them all down, and shuts her laptop.
"I'll be heading home early."
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havealotonmymind · 1 year ago
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