#however i worry that of i wait for my two week deadline ill put it off again

[myessenceconsistsofdeadmemes]

hnrg. Currently procrastinating on a Halloween costume I've been dreaming about for (2) years and I honestly may end up going as another costume I made to procrastinate on the one I wanted to wear. Unfortunately both costumes would turn out shitty but I will attempt to persevere. Maybe I'll do some over the top cosplay makeup.

[sunshineandaisies]

Coffee Connection

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: sexual suggestions, i think a few language words maybe?

You were a creature of habit, there was no denying that, and you had no shortage of habits that made you such.

Example A; every Thursday afternoon, after you’d rushed from the lecture hall at the end of your final class of the day, you’d spend two hours sitting on the plush couch in the coffee shop just down the street from your apartment, sipping coffee after coffee as you fingers clacked across the keyboard of your laptop and you made the latest edits to your graduate thesis.

Usually, there would always be a random stranger sitting at the opposite end of the couch, and it was never the same person two weeks in a row. Sometimes it was a sharply dressed business type that sipped their coffee while scrolling through emails on their phone, and other times it was sleep-deprived student, sipping on what you assumed was likely their sixth cup of coffee that day and trying their best to not pull their hair out as they worked on whatever assignment had them so obviously stressed. Occasionally, you even recognized a professor that you had taken classes with during your undergrad, laughing as they graded poorly written and ill-conceived papers.

But six weeks ago, you recognized the man that sat in the seat at the other end of the couch as the same man that had sat beside you the week before.

When you first realized that he was the same man from the week before, you did your best to look him over from the corner of your eye. He was certainly the tall, handsome brooding type - that much was clear with just a single glance - but you had to do a bit of a double take when you saw the book that he was so intently focused on.

Twilight? Really?

You had been so shocked by his book choice that you didn’t see him look up at you with an annoyed expression etched across his features, but as soon as you felt his intense gaze on you your cheeks flooded with warmth and you quickly averted your gaze.

You didn’t dare look at him again that day.

The following week, however, you put your surreptitious observation skills to the test as soon as you took your usual seat on the plush couch, and you were pleasantly impressed with what you saw. Mesmerizing blue eyes, deliciously muscled thighs, fingers that made your mind wander to less than appropriate places, and...and a metal arm?

You put an end to your staring sooner than you really wanted to, but you’d rather not have your silent coffee shop companion see you salivating over him. Instead, you focused on your thesis and cast the tiniest of glances at the man when you found your mind conjuring up images of what his fingers could do and what it would feel like to have his metal hand wrapped around your-

What the hell? First he was reading Twilight, and now he’s reading The Hunger Games? Who the hell was this guy?

As the weeks went on, the two of you sat alone together and your confusion over his reading interests only grew. So far, you’d seen him read not only Twilight and The Hunger Games, but also various books from the Game of Thrones series and The Fault in Our Stars.

Additionally, as the weeks went on, your impending thesis deadline was swiftly approaching, and your Thursday routine was rudely interrupted by an impromptu meeting with your graduate advisor after your final class of the day. It was a quick meeting, no more than twenty minutes long, but that small interruption of your usual schedule had you sprinting across campus, frazzled and frantic and worried that your seat on the plush couch of the coffee shop would be taken by the time you finally arrived.

You hurried away from the counter as soon as your usual cup of coffee had been pushed into your hand by the exhausted barista, hoping that your seat hadn’t been taken when you failed to show up ten minutes ago. A sigh escaped from between your lips when you saw that it remained vacant. Depositing your bag on the ground in front of the couch, you quickly pulled your laptop out and tried to calm your frazzled nerves enough to focus on your thesis.

“You’re late.”

You were so surprised that he had actually spoken to you that you froze, wondering if you’d simply imagined it. A quick glance to your side told you that you absolutely had not imagined it. He stared at you with a frown on his face and his brows pinched together in irritation, his book all but abandoned in his lap.

You raised a brow at him. “What?”

His eyes widened and a barely noticeable dusting of pink coated his cheeks. Cute. “I, uh-” Watching him stumble over his words as he tried to come up with a believable explanation for his surprising concern had you biting your lip to suppress an amused smile. “Nevermind,” he grumbled, turning his attention back to his book - this time the Maze Runner - as his lips tightened into an unimpressed line.

“No, you’re right.” He cautiously dragged his gaze back to you, curiosity sparkling in his blue eyes. “I was late. I’m never late.” After a moment of observing you, he nodded. Before he could go back to reading his book and ignoring you again, you commented, “Your taste in books has improved since the first week you sat with me.”

The corner of his mouth twitched upward slightly before he was expressionless once again. “Yeah, I really wish I could get those hours of my life back.” You giggled, and he wasn’t able to fight back the smile that spread across his face.

“The Maze Runner’s pretty good,” you assured him. “Movies are good, too.”

And somehow, you ended up spending the next hour talking with your once silent coffee shop companion - “Bucky,” he had introduced himself with a smile - and completely ignoring your thesis in favor of talking about his recent book choices and opinions on their respective movie or television adaptations. Did he think Twilight was terrible? Absolutely. Did he think that the Hunger Games was an interesting commentary on social class differences? Definitely. Did he think the last season of Game of Thrones was awful? Don’t get him started. Did he cry while watching The Fault in Our Stars? No comment.

When you finally asked why he was reading so much - especially some of his questioning book choices - he sighed, answering, “My therapist thinks it’ll help me get acclimated to the twenty-first century better if I work on understanding pop culture better. These books were all on her list of recommendations.”

Suddenly, it clicked. Bucky, metal arm, getting acclimated to the twenty-first century. “You’re Bucky Barnes.” It wasn’t a question. It was more of a statement, an undeniable fact, and it clearly caught him off guard that you came to that conclusion so easily.

“Uh, yeah.” He nervously scratched the back of his neck, his lips turning down into a frown. “That’s me.”

Despite his reaction, you chuckled. “Well this is awkward.” He quirked a brow at you, his frown deepening. Before he could misunderstand, you continued, “I’m writing my thesis on societal perceptions of superheroes. I’ve literally spent hours researching you and Captain America and Iron Man and Thor and-”

He interrupted you, his brows pinched so tightly together you worried they’d end up stuck like that. “You think I’m a superhero?”

You shrugged and took a quick sip of your now cold coffee. “I mean, yeah. You helped Captain America fight Hydra back in the forties, and you helped beat Thanos last year, didn’t you?”

“There’s a lot of things I’ve done in the time between then that would firmly put me in the other category.”

You let out a breath, nodding solemnly. “I read about that, too,” you admitted. “But I also know that it wasn’t really something that you did of your own free-will. That makes you a victim, not a villain. When you actually had a choice, it seems like you always chose to do the right thing.”

He remained silent for an extended moment, and you worried that you ruined the easy companionship that had developed between you and the supersoldier. You tried to force down the rising sense of disappointment as you pursed your lips and turned away from him, slowly packing up your belongings to leave.

“Wait, Y/N.” You paused in the middle of shoving your laptop into your bag and glanced up at him curiously. “Can I-” He cleared his throat. “Can I buy you a coffee?”

You raised a brow, gaze flickering to your half-full cup of coffee on the table.

He chuckled, and dear god a sound has never made your stomach flip and flop as much as the sound of his deep chuckles spilling from his parted lips. “I mean a fresh, hot coffee. If, uh, you’re open to it, I’d like to hear more about your thesis.”

You nodded eagerly and pulled your laptop from your bag as a wide smile curled your lips. “I’d like that.”

[tiffdawg]

Curriculum Vitae: Chapter Fifteen

Gif: @bestintheparsec​

curriculum vitae noun cur·ric·u·la vi·tae Latin. the course of one’s life.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (fem; no y/n)

Word Count: 7.0k

Rated: E  | Warnings: NSFW – explicit sexual content, sex, public sex, oral sex (female receiving), cumplay, dirty talk. Mentions of alcohol. Mild language. 18+ only.

Chapter Summary: In this chapter, you and Javier attend the holiday party for the social sciences’ faculty.

A/N: I really risked it all for y’all just to login and post this. I still haven’t seen the finale so I’m going to drop this and run but I’d love to know what you think. I hope this chapter makes the extra-long wait worth it.

Read on AO3

CV Masterlist | My Masterlist

… . …

Chapter Fifteen

Unsurprisingly, things were tense the next morning

Javier was up before you but that wasn’t out of the ordinary. Although considering it was a quarter past seven you wondered how much sleep the man could’ve gotten. What was surprising was that you woke alone.

Then you ate breakfast together in silence. Moved about your 400 square foot studio in silence. Worked across the dining table grading papers in silence.

Javier was never an overly talkative person but that was unlike him. It was unlike the two of you. You knew there were things from his past that troubled him. Things you couldn’t even begin to imagine. The longer you’d known him, the more time you spent together, the more you felt his sadness. But he seemed determined to hide it from you.

However, you couldn’t dwell on it. Not until you’d finished grading exams and assigned final grades and could put the fall quarter behind you. With a Monday deadline, work came first.

Eventually, Javier finished his grading. He gathered his things to go home and dress for the faculty party that evening, leaving you with just a kiss on your cheek and a promise to pick you up at six. You hummed noncommittally as you watched him leave.

Sunny whined at the closed door before looking over her shoulder at you with a silent question in her wide brown eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong either,” you answered with a shrug. She laid down where she was, head on her paws and a rather sad expression of her face.

… . …

By some miracle, you were able to focus long enough to finish your grading with enough time to spare to get ready for a night out. At 5:58 you walked out of your building into the dark evening and found Javier waiting for you at the bottom of the stoop. It was a chilly night and you pulled your wool coat tighter around you as you closed the last bit of distance between the two of you. For the first time that day, as he held his hand out to you, he smiled. It was nothing more than a slight pull at the corner of his lips, but it was something.

You took his hand and let him lead you toward his car. When he reached into his coat pocket, presumably in search of his keys, he pulled out a half-finished pack of Nicorette. He tossed it in a nearby trash can.

“Why did you do that?” you asked without thinking.

He shrugged as he unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you. “I don’t need it.”

You made no move to get in. “I thought you were trying to quit.”

“I… I did.”

“Really?” you asked, not bothering to hide your excitement.

“I haven’t needed it for a couple of weeks now actually.”

 “Javi, that’s amazing,” you smiled as you brought him to you for a kiss by the lapels of his coat. “I’m so proud of you.”

 He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re proud of me?”

 “Yeah,” you said easily. He still didn’t seem to believe you. You continued tentatively, afraid you might say the wrong thing but needing to say something all the same. “Sometimes I just– I feel like I don’t actually know that much about you. Or, I should say, about your past. And I don’t need to know anything more than what you want to tell me,” you added quickly. “But I see you. I see you trying to be a better man. Everyday.” Your hands moved on their own accord to cup his freshly shaved cheeks. “I’m proud of you. Even if you think it’s silly.”

“I–” Javier opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t manage more than that single syllable.

Instead, he stared at you. You might’ve crossed some unspoken line, but you didn’t care. You’d meant everything that you said. His eyes shifted away as he stared at something past you for a drawn-out moment. “Come here,” he finally managed, and he pulled you into his embrace. The two of you held each other in the middle of the sidewalk, letting the few people out and about walk around you. “You’re too good for me, compañera.”

“I know,” you teased, trying to lighten the mood. His fingers dug into your sides and you laughed. “Are we going to talk about what happened last night?”

He sighed heavily. “I’d rather have one good night with you before I leave. I’m not going to see you for more than two weeks.”

Deciding not to question it, you put it out of your mind. Maybe what happened was a one off. Still, you pulled back and scowled at him. “Then stop being such a….”

“An asshole?”

“Exactly.”

He huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes but nodded his agreement. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“You gonna make it up to me?”

 “Yeah. Yeah, I’ve got plans for you tonight.”

A chill shot down your spine at the insinuation. “Good,” you smirked, “so do I.”

… . …

The country club was only a short drive past the university and up into the hills amongst rows of gated mansions. Slipping out of the car before the valet approached, you darted in ahead of Javier. The bubble that the two of you were living in still didn’t extend to work, not entirely. Not beyond fucking in your offices and occasionally brushing hands under the table at faculty meetings.

Inside, the already gilded ballroom was draped in silver and gold holiday decorations from ceiling to floor. Every inch sparkled and shone in the chandelier light. Your colleagues from across the school of social sciences crowed the hall, all dressed to the nines with glasses of champagne and hors-d’œuvre topped with caviar in their hands.

You politely made your rounds before you found yourself conversing with Debra by the bar as you waited for a cocktail. She was her usual gossipy self, going on and on about the latest office drama. That was when you first spotted Javier amongst the crowd.

He wore a well-fitted black suit – one that was significantly more flattering than some of his older ones and you idly wondered if it was new – with a white shirt, forgoing a tie so that his tanned chest was still exposed, even on a winter night. His dark hair was styled just enough to keep it off his face. Even from across the room, you could see the glimmer in his warm brown eyes as he chatted away with someone. You were surprised when he walked right up to Rafael Garcia, one of the younger professors from the political science department. You watched as they shook hands and he was introduced to his wife, noting the genuine smile on his face.

“We just started seeing each other a couple of weeks ago but it’s going well so far. I really like him.” Deb’s voice brought you back to the present.

“That’s nice,” you replied absentmindedly.

“What about you, doc?”

“What? Oh, no. I don’t have time for something like that.” You waved her off, but your eyes still followed Javier across the room. You tried to ignore the heat pooling in your stomach.

“That’s a shame.” Debra looked out at the crowd and sighed. “He never flirts with me. Not anymore, at least.”

“Your new boyfriend?”

“No,” she laughed and smacked your shoulder playfully. “Javier,” she answered, lowering her voice.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Although you hoped it wasn’t that obvious who you’d been looking at. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. And don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“Sure, but Javier was always fun to flirt with. It certainly made work more interesting. You know,” she took a sip of her martini, “the two of you seem awfully friendly lately. I thought you hated him.”

“I do,” you answered quickly.

“Well, don’t let Dr. Campbell hear you speak ill about his favorite lecturer.” She raised her brows over her class as the department chair approached the two of you. You stifled a sigh.

… . …

Javier sipped at his drink as he listened to Sofia Garcia regal him with the story of how she met her husband. He’d hardly spoken to the man before than night, but after five minutes with his loquacious wife, he felt like he knew his whole life story.

“I played on the Mexican women’s national team for a few years after college until I injured my knee. But it was a blessing. I was offered a coaching position here a week later and by the end of my first season we were engaged.” She held up her left hand where a modest diamond sat on her ring finger. “That was nearly fifteen years ago. Now he’s the only one who plays soccer.”

“Yeah,” Rafael scoffed, “I play in an adult league with my cousin and some old college friends. That hardly counts. She’s the real athlete.” He looked fondly on his wife who beamed back at him. Even Javier had to admit they made a handsome couple. And it had nothing to do with his expensive looking suit or her champagne dress. It was something about the way they looked at each other. they were easily better conversationalists than most of the people in that room. You weren’t kidding when you said academics only knew how to talk about journal articles and research funding. “You ever play, Peña? We’re actually looking for one more.”

Javier shook his head. “I played when I was a kid but that was a long fucking time ago.”

“Don’t worry, man, it’s not that serious. We drink the whole game. All you gotta do is pay for the keg when it’s your turn.”

Javier laughed, surprised by his answer. “I could get on board with that.”

The conversation moved on, but Javier was only half aware of whatever question he was being asked. Just over Rafael’s shoulder, he caught sight of you. With a red dress with thin straps draped across your form that left everything and nothing to the imagination, you looked… alluring.

“Hey, uh, you look like you could use a refill,” Rafael commented, pointing toward the bar where you were standing.

“Yeah,” Javier nodded, “I’ll catch you later. Nice meeting you, Sofia.”

“I hope to see you around, Javier.” She smiled kindly at him, but Javier was already on the move, swiftly cutting through the crowd as he contemplated the ways that he could get you alone.

“Whiskey. Dry,” he ordered, leaning against the bar next to you.

“How are you enjoying the evening, Professor Peña?” Debra simpered.

“Much better now that I’m talking to you lovely ladies,” he answered without missing a beat.

On cue, Debra’s whole face flushed bright red.

“I’ll have you know I’m spoken for now. Your charm won’t work on me anymore.”

“That’s too bad.” His eyes slid to you. And then up and down your body. “What about you, sweetheart?” He offered you the perfect set up on a silver platter. And you took it.

“Not in your wildest dreams, Peña,” you shot back. His lips quirked as he repressed a smile.

“Don’t you two ever get tired of antagonizing each other?” Debra scoffed before traipsing off. He was hoping that would work.

The bartender placed Javier’s drink on the counter and then he turned back to you, still admiring your dress. Now that he was near you, he noticed the fabric was a soft red velvet he wanted nothing more than to get his hands on.

“You looked like you were enjoying your conversation with Rafael.”

“He does some interesting work on South American politics,” he offered distractedly, his eyes snapped back up to yours. “I probably shouldn’t ask you to dance.”

You reeled back a little, as if the question surprised you. “Probably not. That might ruin the whole facade of me hating you.” He made a sour face as he looked at his glass in his hand, swirling the amber liquid a few times. “I wouldn’t have taken you for the dancing type, Javi.”

He grinned. “I love dancing.”

“You never take me dancing.”

“Fucking shame. I’m gonna start.” You beamed at him, uncaring, just for a moment, who saw. It was a smile nothing short of dazzling. He took a step closer. “You look stunning.”

“You drove me here.”

“I thought you were stunning then too. But you were wearing a coat and I didn’t get to see this.” He ran the back of his knuckles down the fabric of your dress just over that sensitive spot on your side he liked so much. “You were right. This is definitely worth it.”

“What if I told you there’s more,” you said unaffectedly, feigning interest in your empty glass. The mischievous look in your eyes when they met his confused expression gave you away. Gently, you brought his hand to your thigh, just under the hem of your dress, and his fingers instantly hooked around the strap of the garter belt holding your sheer stockings in place.

“Holy fuck,” he whispered. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“What a way to go,” you cooed. His hand traveled up the strap to the apex of your thighs where he found little more than a thin piece of lace below the belt. “Careful,” you warned him, pushing his hand away.

Turning so that his body pinned you between him and the bar top and shielded you from the rest of your colleagues, he grasped your hand and brought it to the front of his pants “Can you feel what you do to me?” he said against the shell of your ear.

“That’s what I was hoping for.” Your smile was absolutely wicked.

“Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is not to kiss you right now?”

“Yes.” You squeezed him through his trousers. Javier might’ve looked remarkably calm, but he knew you felt his reaction. He steeled himself as he finished his drink and set the glass on the counter behind you.

“Follow me.”

… . …

Keeping a few steps behind him, you followed Javier back to the front of the club. You assumed he was leading you out to the car but apparently, he had something else in mind. He swung open the door to the coat check, since abandoned by the clerk now that all the guests had arrived and the party was in full swing. With some idea of what he had in mind, you hoped no one was inclined to leave early.

His mouth was on yours in an instant and as soon as the door was shut, you were pressed up against it.

“The coat closet at the holiday work party?” you asked in between fevered kisses. “Isn’t that a little cliché?”

“Honey,” he murmured against your neck as his lips moved lower and lower, “I know for a fact it turns you on when we fuck in public.”

His hand slipped underneath your dress again, following the same path as earlier, and he pressed his fingers against the lace covering your cunt, now soaked with your arousal. He pulled away to raise a brow at you, daring you to contradict him.

Instead, you palmed him again, finding him harder than before. “I’m not the only one,” you shot back. With your eyes locked on his, you dropped to your knees to loosen his belt and unbutton his trousers. Then you leaned forward to slowly pull the zip down – with your teeth.

“Fuck me” he gasped around a ragged exhale, his hips automatically bucking toward you. He watched you, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, before he hauled you to your feet with a hand on either arm. “Fucking dirty girl.”

“Wanna be your dirty girl, Javi,” you sighed, batting your lashes at him. You wanted him unraveled and unrestrained.

“Yeah?” he asked with a hint of excitement in his voice, and you nodded, satisfied with the response you’d gotten from him. Before you realized what he was doing, he spun you around and hiked your skirt up over your ass, letting it bunch around your waist.

“Hey, be careful. This dress is vintage.”

He just laughed against your ear. “You should’ve thought of that before you started this.” With one hand on your hip to hold you up, he kicked each of your ankles to prompt you to spread your legs before hooking a finger under the band of your thong and sliding them to the side. “Damn,” he growled when his fingers met your wet cunt. “I think you’re ready for me.”

“I was ready for you the moment I saw you tonight,” you answered truthfully.  

You felt his grin as he kissed the nape of your neck. He freed his cock and ran the tip through your folds. You knew better than to tell him not to tease you. That was part of it. That was what he enjoyed. He wanted you so strung out by the time he slipped inside you that you were already a mess and he knew just how to get you there. And that was exactly where you wanted to go.

He started to press inside you, slowly stretching you around him with each inch, and you delighted in the slight burn. Usually, he spent more time preparing you, but there was no time for that. Not when you were just hoping to finish fucking each other before someone came to collect their belongings.

You were wet and ready for him, but you were unable to stop the yelp that escaped you as he pushed in a little further.

“Quiet,” he snapped. Then, softly, he asked, “are you okay?”

You nodded. “It just takes a minute sometimes. You’re so big, Javi.” You felt him twitch inside you.

“You take me so well. This cunt was made for me.” Your ego burned bright at his praise and he slid in a bit more as you relaxed around him.

He held you, gently caressing you while you adjusted in what you assumed was a merciful act of patience. When you were ready, you rolled your hips to encourage him.

“Keep – shit – keep doing that. Feels so good on my dick.” You could imagine the debauched look on his face. You reveled in it even though you couldn’t see him. He reached around you to cup your pussy, fingers rubbing against your clit and following your movements as you circled your hips. You moaned in unison.

But it wasn’t enough. Not for you. Not for Javier.

“Hold on to something.”

His warning came just a moment too late. With a gasp, you fell forward clawing at the coats in front of you and fisting an expensive looking black peacoat in hopes of staying upright as he set a brutal pace. “Oh, fuck yes!” you whined.

“Are you even trying to stay quiet?” Javier hissed.

“Yes,” you replied weakly.

“Fucking liar.” You heard the smirk.

The hand playing with your clit moved to your mouth and he slipped two fingers past your lips. It effectively muffled your noises of pleasure as he pulled you down hard on his cock with every thrust. The only sound was the wet noise of him sliding in and out of your slick cunt and the slap of your stocking-covered thighs as they bounced against his. You felt that delicious pressure deep in your belly, right between your thighs, building steadily.

Until you heard a noise just outside the door and the two of you froze.

Without pulling out of you, Javier held you to his chest. As if that would somehow help. You could feel his heart beating against your back just as your own threatened to break through your ribs. Two sets of wide eyes watched the doorknob, waiting for any sign that someone on the other side was about to turn it. You held your breath as you listened carefully to the low voices murmuring, unable to tell who they belonged to or what they were saying. It was like they were hovering just outside the door. Taunting you.

Just as you were about to suggest redressing and making a run for it, Javier started moving in and out of you as a torturously slow pace. Despite the voices nearby, a small whimper escaped you. He shushed you gently. “Quiet, baby,” he whispered.

“But–”

“You wanted this.”

“Javi­–”

“You wouldn’t have worn this” –he fingered the garter belt– “if you didn’t want to end up just like this.”

He was right, of course.

“What if–”

“I’m not going to let that happen.” You had no idea what he thought he was going to do if someone did catch the two of you, but he seemed confident enough for the both of you. Coupled with the easy rock of his hips, you relaxed into his hold. The truth was, as much as you liked the freedom of your home, you missed this. This thrill that you trusted only him to give you.

As soon as the conversation faded away, he resumed his previous pace, punching the air right out of your lungs.

“Yes! Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop,” you chanted, forgetting the precarious situation you were in only moments ago. The coil in your belly tightened as you neared your crest, and you could tell by his less than precise movements that Javier just as close. And then, right as you were about to fall apart on his cock–

Javier pulled out and spun you back around in one swift movement. Before you even knew what was happening, he yanked down your panties and came all over you. Jaw dropping, you watched him work his length until every last drop was on you. White spurts of cum marked you and pooled in the black lace, already dripping down your thighs to the tops of your stockings. You placed a hand on either of his shoulders to steady yourself as your legs threatened to give out under you and stared down at the mess. Somehow, you were more turned on than before. You felt like you would actually combust from arousal. He held your panties in place for a moment, admiring his work, before letting the elastic snap against your skin and drawing your attention upward.

His breaths were jagged, stuttering and uneven. His head tilted back, and he looked down his nose at you with dark eyes that shone with something feral. Something sacrilegious. He was flushed and panting but a smirk tugged on his lips as he tucked his cock away and belted his pants. “You said you wanted to be my dirty girl.”

You swore you could feel your last brain cell short-circuiting. You were hyperaware of the errant drop sliding down your thighs, but you couldn’t look away from him. “Always,” you promised quietly.

You kissed him with everything you had. Javier took it greedily.

“You’re so good for me. Letting me cum all over you,” he said breathlessly, still kissing you. “I want you to keep it all in your panties so that while you’re out there talking to those pretentious professors you can feel my cum between your legs. Okay?” You nodded and he graciously straightened your dress, letting it fall over your messy thighs. “You first.”

“But I didn’t–”

“Only good girls get to cum,” he replied quickly, apparently knowing exactly what you were going to say.

“Javi,” you scolded breathlessly and pointlessly, “I– I am your good girl.”

“Not tonight. You can’t keep quiet. Do you want everyone we work with to know I’m fucking you in this god damn coat closet?” You shook your head. “Don’t worry, honey, this was just foreplay. I’m not done with you yet. Tonight, I’m gonna make you cum so fucking hard you’re screaming my name at the top of your lungs. I can’t do that here, but I can get you ready.”

Your head buzzed.

Some filthy part of you liked that he’d cum all over you. That he wanted to do that to you. You didn’t even need to cum because it’d felt that good. And you knew by the look in his eyes that he planned on making up for leaving you wanting, for making a mess of you. You instinctively understood that this was part of it. That even greater pleasure waited for you if you could just be patient and... and trust him. And you did trust him. You knew he would take care of you.  

If this was going to be your last night together for weeks — after hardly spending a night apart the last month and a half — then this was just the start.

“Okay,” you agreed. “But you’re a fucking tease, Javier Peña.”

He laughed with genuine mirth in his eyes. “You started it.”

“I’ll finish it,” you promised.

“I’m looking forward to that.”

You hesitated, teasing your bottom lip with your teeth. “Do we really have to go back out there?”

“It would be rude to leave so early.” You knew he didn’t care about staying. He was just tormenting you, playing a fucked-up game that had your head spinning like crazy. “But don’t worry. Eventually, I’ll take you home and fill you up. Just the way you like it. Now be a good girl” he said with a swat on your ass, “and go out first.”

Feeling defiant, you turned around and planted a kiss on his neck, purposefully leaving a smudge of red lipstick on his crisp white collar.

“Are you trying to get me in trouble?”

“Maybe I do want everyone to know your mine.”

He wiped away the lipstick he smeared when he stuck his fingers in your mouth with the pad of his thumb. “You know. That’s all I care about.”

… . …

The two of you didn’t make it another hour. Fifty-two minutes to be exact. Javier knew because he kept checking his watch only to decide that time had crept to a halt. He wanted nothing more than to take you home and finish what he’d started. Every time he glanced at you across the room, he found you squirming as you tried to keep a straight face while chatting with some colleague, and he had to look away and recompose himself.

It hadn’t been his intention to leave you wet and wanting and covered in his cum. It’d just happened in the heat of the moment. Some wild idea that he’d decided to act on. But you… you’d liked it. And so did Javier.

In reality, fifty-two minutes wasn’t that long, but it was enough time to suck up to the school’s dean. If Javier was going to be put on display as his prized lecturer for the year, he’d make him listen to him in return. Even if he had to turn up the fake charm to a ten in front of a group of wealthy alumni.

“Here she is now,” Javier said, taking a hold of your elbow as you passed by, physically dragging you into the conversation. You shot him a confused look, but he just smiled at the dean.

“Ah, yes, professor,” Dean Dalton started, “It would seem you’ve made quite the impression on Agent Peña.”

Javier elected to ignore his choice of title.

“Really? I wasn’t aware.” You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, but he could tell you were happy.

“I’ve had the privilege of reading a few chapters of her upcoming book,” Javier explained. “Trust me, you’ll want to see what she’s planning next.”

“As luck would have it, I’ve been talking to a few of our more generous donors tonight. Perhaps we should meet when classes resume to discuss how the school might be able to help your research.” The dean clinked his glass against yours and ambled off.

“What did you just do?” you asked, disbelief lacing your voice.

“I told you I would help you.”

“Oh my God… thank you,” you said softly. You stared at him for a long moment and he just held your gaze. “Will you take you home now?”

“Yes.”

Without wasting another second, you turned on your heel and headed toward the entrance. He followed eagerly. “Wait.” You stopped suddenly and his chest hit your back. You peered at him over your shoulder. “Don’t forget our tradition.”

He quirked a brow in silent question and your eyes flicked to the bar in response. It clicked. “Got it,” he said with a grin. He swiped the first bottle of champagne he could reach. Something so expensive he couldn’t even imagine the price tag. Something neither of you could ever afford on an academic salary.

… . …

Javier drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on your knee, drawing circles on your thigh over the sheer material covering your skin. Late on a chilly December night, the streets were empty, and the drive was easy. The city was unusually peaceful.

“I still can’t believe you pulled that off,” you murmured dreamily. He squeezed your knee in response.

A few minutes later, he’d stopped at a light when you quietly said his name. He turned to you and found you staring at him. You looked relaxed and happy. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you how handsome you look tonight. All dressed up for me,” you offered sweetly. “You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

“How much did you have to drink?” he deflected.

“One drink hours ago. Nice try, but I’m sober.” You laughed but your teasing tone gave way to something softer. “You really are the most beautiful man.”

In his periphery, the light changed, bathed the inside of the car in a bright green light. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from your beautiful face. Not when such an open, vulnerable sincerity graced your features.

“The light’s green,” you whispered.

“I know.”

A small smile broke out on your face.

… . …

Behind you, Javier trailed soft, lazy kisses along the slope of your neck as he slowly unzipped your dress, letting it hang loose around you. Your eyes fluttered shut as he smoothed his hands down your exposed back, thumbs gently digging into your flesh to massage your tired muscles. Every kiss, every touch, stoked the fire he’d ignited inside you hours ago.

“Let it fall,” he murmured against your skin. You slipped the straps over your shoulders and the fabric pooled at your feet. Then you reached for the clasp of your bra. “Leave it. I’ll take it off when I want to.” You bit back a devilish smile as he continued his ministrations. His lips followed his hands down your spine, and you gasped when he placed a kiss on the small of your back.

“Can’t decide how I want you first,” he mused.

“I want your mouth on me.”

He kneaded the flesh of your ass as he placed the lightest kiss on one cheek. “It is.”

“Not there.”

At your complaint, he snapped the garter belt strap so it stung against your flesh. But a firm hand on your back urged you forward until you were kneeling on the bed and he mouthed your cunt through the lace. “Here?” he asked, voice muffled.

“Yes,” you moaned, desperate for more.

“Maybe I should clean the mess I made on your pussy.” Without waiting for an answer, he pulled the fabric away and sealed his mouth over your hot, wet core, drawing an inarticulate slew of curses from you.

Hands gripping the backs of your thighs right at the tops of your stockings, he alternated between sucking on your clit, teasing the little bundle of nerves between his lips, and fucking you with his tongue. The constantly changing pressure was as intoxicating as it was frustrating — it was never enough but plenty to keep you hovering right on the cusp.

Until he finally – finally – gave you what you needed most.

Holding a steady pace as he flicked his tongue over your clit, Javier pushed you right over the edge.

Unable to breath, unable to move, unable to even think, you sobbed, cunt still pulsing around nothing, when he unceremoniously flipped you over and entered you. He slid into your dripping heat easily. And somehow, your first orgasm rolled right into the second as his cock struck something magic inside you, sparking a whole new wave of pleasure.

“You can’t stop coming, can you?” he asked, grunting as he pounded into you.

It just kept going. And going. Wave after wave relentlessly rolling through you. Unceasing in the best way imaginable. Javier knew your body so fucking well. He was the only one who knew how to do this to you. “No,” you mewled deliriously, body still shaking under him.

He thumbed away a tear rolling down your cheek. You hadn’t even realized you were crying. His hand left your face to knead a lace covered breast. “You look so fucking hot.”

“Fuck me harder, Javi.”

He pulled out all the way and your hips lifted, chasing him, but he pushed your knees to your chest and shouldered between your legs. “You’re not going to be able to walk when I’m done with you.”

“Good. I wanna feel you for days.” you said, ignoring the pang in your heart that told you that you were going to miss him.

“Fuck,” he spat. Your cunt drenched his cock as he slipped back inside, and your breath hitched as he hit deeper at the new angle.

“Right there!” you cried, arching up against him, “oh, God, right there!”

“One more. Give me one more,” Javier demanded, lacing your fingers together and pining your hands above your head, “But not until I tell you.”

You nodded eagerly, happy to give him whatever he wanted. “I get to tell you when too. Please, Javi.”

“Whatever you want baby. You fucking earned it.”

He kept slamming into you and every stroke of his cock rubbed against your inner walls perfectly. You swore you could almost feel every ridge and every vein of his thick length as he fucked you. Your third orgasm was tantalizingly within reach. You just needed his blessing, and you’d break.

“Alright, baby,” he panted as he rocked his hips against yours, grinding his pelvis against your clit, “cum all over my cock.”

Just like that, that tight coil inside you he’d been winding up all night snapped, and you came for a third time with a wanton cry. His name tumbled from your lips repeatedly as your body writhed beneath him, cunt spasming around his cock.

“I need to cum,” he ground out, voice cutting through the haze of pleasure.

“Ask me nicely,” you teased when your senses had returned to you just enough that you decided it was your turn to play with Javier. You wanted it to be just as good for him as he made it for you.

“Please.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Baby, please.” Javier’s broken words trembling around the edges as he begged you. His brown eyes, eclipsed by his dilated pupils and wet around the edges, stared deeply into yours and you almost gave in.

“Don’t stop.”

He made a desperate sound but kept going, snapping his hips against yours harder and harder.

“Almost there, Javi. You’re doing so good for me,” you praised, encouraging him. His jaw clenched and you kissed his neck, sucking hard on the straining muscles. His hands gripped yours so tight it hurt, and his face screwed up as he panted with each thrust. “You can cum for me, Javi. Fill me up.”

His lips crashed against yours in a desperate gratitude, and his hips stuttered as he came hard. He gasped for breath even as your mouths moved messily together. His cock twitched inside you as he painted your cunt like you’d been patiently waiting for all evening, until his body gave out and he collapsed on top of you, still locked in an embrace.

“Was that good for you?” you asked. When you didn’t get an answer, you prodded his side. He startled, eyes suddenly blinking up at you.

“What?”

“I asked if that was good for you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that was... it’s always good with you but that was...” He trailed off and you thought he might’ve actually fallen asleep on you. “I’ve never cum so hard in my life. I think I fucking blacked out.”

“I didn’t know my pussy was that good.”

“Are you kidding me? I fucking love your pussy.” He was positively beaming at you. He cursed with a sigh as he laid his head back on your chest and you threaded your fingers through his damp locks, holding him close while you could.

… . …

You sat half in Javier’s lap in the middle of your bed, sheets strewn about from your previous activities, both completely naked but freshly showered. He moved his mouth against yours, tasting you, drinking you in until he was as lightheaded from your kisses as from the champagne. His hands roamed your body, touching you for no real reason other than to memorize your gentle curves. One hand cupped a breast and the other squeezed your hip, both moving slowly until they met to cradle your face.

He pulled away to look at you. No fancy dress, no jewelry, no make-up. Just you.

“Still stunning,” he whispered.

You smiled softly and pressed your lips to the bridge of his nose. “Still handsome,” you countered. Chills erupted across his skin, but you mistook his reaction. “Come here.” you pulled the blankets up as you settled back against the headboard. He followed, swiping the bottle of champagne off the nightstand. Without bothering with glasses, surely a disservice to something so expensive, he took a swig and handed it to you. It was bubbly and light and perfect for the evening.

“You never told me what you’re doing for the holidays.”

“Oh, nothing much,” you responded as you took the bottle from him. “Bev’s family celebrates Christmas. They always do gifts with the kids in the morning but then her mom and in-laws and whoever else in the family is around go over for a big dinner. She insists I come to keep her sane. Her mom and mother-in-law don’t exactly get along.”

“What about New Year’s?”

You took a long pull before sighing. “Well, I usually spend the night with Sunny watching old movies and drinking too much wine.” Your face pinched. “That sounds much sadder when I say it out loud.”

“You don’t mind being alone?”

“It’s been this way for years now.” You smiled, a rueful thing. “I’m used to it. I’m usually so tired after the quarter ends that I don’t mind the time alone.” You tried to brush it off, but he could hear the sadness in your voice.

“You could–” Javier stopped himself. “You could call. Anytime. I’ll give you my dad’s home number so you can reach me.”

That time your smile reached your eyes, crinkling the corners as you looked away bashfully. “That’s really sweet of you.” You reached for his hand and added, “I’ll call you at midnight in Laredo.”

“We’ll talk until midnight in Los Angeles.”

You curled up next to him before Javier could decipher your expression.

When he felt your breathing even out, surely sated from the sex and exhausted after the quarter, he pried the bottle from your grasp. He finished the last bit before setting it aside and switching off the lamp, careful not to disturb you.

Javier held you close, not unlike the way you’d held him the night before. He knew he needed to get his shit together. He didn’t want you to see that part of him. He needed to protect you from his past. But he didn’t know how to do that when he couldn’t even protect himself.

He flicked off the light and hoped for a peaceful sleep.

… . …

The first thing you noticed when you woke up the next morning was the dark bruise that you’d sucked onto Javier’s neck the night before. You ran your fingertips over it, outwardly cringing but inwardly, well, preening. This time it had been you who left those little love bites on his neck.

“Did you mark me?” he asked, his voice barely more than a quiet rumble. “Fucking felt that last night.”

“I didn’t mean to,” you answered, looking up at him as innocently as possible.

“Don’t lie to me,” he grumbled as his eyes blinked open. “You were a woman determined last night.”

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

“I liked it,” he grinned, but it faded quickly. “I forgot I was going home today. My dad’s picking me up at the airport.”

“Oh shit,” you laughed, burying your face against his chest.

“Don’t laugh. That’s not funny.”

“Maybe you should try buttoning your shirt like a normal person for once.”

In one smooth movement, he flipped you over and caged you beneath him. “You’re pushing your luck,” he tried to warn, but the grin on his face and the glint in his eyes betrayed him.

“What time is your flight?” you asked, soothing a hand across his face.

“One.” He glanced over at the clock. “It’s ten now.”

You wondered, just for a moment, if he would stay with you if you asked him to. If he would pass the holidays with you so you wouldn’t have to be alone. But that was foolish. And more than a little selfish. He had his family to go home to.

“You should probably go.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “I should.”

He eased his hold on you but made no move to leave. Not until he’d placed a kiss on your lips and one on your forehead in a gentle goodbye.

... . ...

Thank you for reading! 💗

Forever Tags: @leo-moon @readsalot73 @frietiemeloen @huliabitch @jerusomeeno @benedrylcumbersnatch @b0n-chann @scapricciatello @liadamerondjarin @pedropasscals @paintballkid711 @mistermiraclee @honeyand-roses

Curriculum Vitae Tags: @softpedropascal @roxypeanut @unstoppableforcce @technicallykawaiisoul @mrsparknuts @weirdowithnobeardo @seeking-a-great--perhaps @assultsofthought @arrowswithwifi @larakasser @romewritingshop @none-of-your-bullshit @the-bird-suit @magneticbucky @bbygrgu @luminarahan @buckstaposition @grapemama @emzd34 @itsilvermorny​

Javier: @wander-lustbabe​

Tag lists are always open. 

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 18

A/N: This chapter got away from me a bit. It’s over 6 thousand words so tuck in guys. I hope you like it. And as I’ve said before, any time a character gets sick in this, it’s nothing more than a flu or common bug. Given this is a Before chapter, COVID didn't exist, but just given the situation currently. I feel like it is important to say that. Just a note on temperature. According to Google 52 degrees F is roughly 11 degrees C. 45 degrees F is roughly 6 degrees C. For my fellow non-USians. Feedback is appreciated as always and much love. -Em

Winter formal was upon us. It was only one day out now. Jeff was still on me about going, like he had been for weeks. I still had no intention of going. And as luck would have it, I had just run into the perfect excuse not to go. I woke up Friday morning to my stomach cramping and churning. Oh god this is awful. I feel like I got hit by a truck. Before I even had time to wake up wake up, I rolled over and grabbed my trashcan. My body shook as I coughed. Sitting up, I flung my legs over the side of my bed. My mom knocked on the door. “Addison? Are you alright honey?”

“Yeah Mom. I’m okay. Just not feeling very well.” She opened the door and peeked inside.

“Let me check your temperature.”

“Can I brush my teeth first?” Mum looked around the room cautiously.

“Of course. I’ll be downstairs. Come down whenever you’re ready.” I nodded and held my stomach.

I went downstairs once my teeth were cleaned and I had rinsed my mouth several times. Mum and dad were in the kitchen. I groaned. The smell of coffee brewing was making me queasy. “I already called the school. You’re staying home today.” Mum said, coming to fawn over me. I waved her off.

“Okay. I’ll call Justin and tell him he needs to get himself to school.” I grabbed a pack of saltines and a Gatorade to take upstairs.

“Feel better.” Dad called after me. I heard him say to mum that it probably wasn’t really that bad. “She should still go to school.” Mum didn’t answer. I changed into a different pair of pyjamas and crawled into bed. My crackers and juice were set neatly on the nightstand by my bed. I grabbed the book I was reading last night. As a last-minute decision, I grabbed my trash can and pulled it closer to the bed.

I called Justin after I got comfortable. “Hello?”

“Morning Justy.”

“Morning Addy.”

“I’m sick.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. You’ll need to find your own way to school today.”

“I can do that. Are you sure you’re sick? Or are you just trying to get out of going to Formal?”

“I have crackers and Gatorade. I wasn’t even out of bed yet.”

“Oh.” He exclaimed. “Um. Yeah. You stay in bed. And remember to drink water. And dry toast.”

“I will. Can you grab my homework? And tell Jeff Atkins that I’m sorry I won’t get to enjoy the magic of Winter Formal tomorrow.”

“Sure thing. Feel better.”

“Mhmm. Love you.”

“Love you too.” I rolled over in bed and tried to get a little more sleep. It was a useless venture. I spent half an hour tossing and turning. I couldn’t get comfortable. It was too hot with the blankets on. It was too cold with them off. One leg out didn’t feel much better. My head was starting to hurt. My stomach was doing flips and cramping. Frustrated, I threw the covers off and went to the bathroom. The bottle of Tylenol was shoved in the back of the medicine cabinet. I took two of the foil packets and went back to bed.

Briefly, my mind went there. I had a flash of another kind of foil packet. And a flash of a calendar. My eyes widened slightly before I counted. Then I remembered that we hadn’t not used a condom, ever. I had an IUD. We were protected either way for…. I couldn’t think the word. We also hadn’t had sex in a month. And I had gotten my period between then and now. I sighed in relief. That thought did make me realize I hadn’t texted Monty yet. I took my phone again and saw that he had texted me about fifteen minutes ago.  

Morning Addison. I swiped left and his message opened.

Morning Montgomery.

You’re up late this morning.

I’ve actually been up.

Oh? Everything okay?

Yes and no.

??

I’m kind of sick. But it’s nothing to worry about.

You sure?

Yeah. I’m alright. Just need to eat my crackers, drink my juice, and sleep. On the plus side, I can get out of going to the dance without lying to Jeff Atkins.

I can come by tonight if you want.

I’ll think about it.

Okay. A few minutes later he sent me another text. Why do you call him Jeff Atkins and not just Jeff?

I dunno. He calls me Addison Hawthorne. No one else does it. It’s kind of just a thing we do.

Can I call you by your full name?

No.

Not even occasionally?

No.

Why?

Is your name Jeff Atkins?

No?

Then there is your answer.

Fine, fine. Feel better, okay?

I’ll try.

I’ll text you later baby.

Mmkay. The Tylenol I took was starting to kick in and my eyelids were getting heavy. Before I could drop it, I put my phone on the nightstand. I woke up again around noon. My stomach was feeling a little better, so I sat up and ate a few crackers slowly. The medicine had worn off by now. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my missed notifications for a bit. Nothing too interesting had happened. I sighed heavily and tossed my phone to the side of my bed.

My book was more interesting than I expected it to be, and soon enough I was almost done. The tri-tone buzz of my phone distracted me. I rested the book in my lap and grumbled to myself. “Who’s texting me now?” It was Jeff Atkins.

Hey Addison Hawthore. Justin tells me you’re sick. I hope you aren’t trying to just avoid the dance.

Jeff Atkins. I would NEVER. I am definitely sick. Doesn’t seem like anything major though. Probably be at school Monday. I trust you will give me a very thorough report on all things Clay Jensen and Hannah Baker?

Glad to hear. Leah says feel better by the way. I’ll find you.

Tell her thank you. Now. I don’t want to be rude, but I’m almost done my book.

See you Monday Addison. I didn’t answer him. I texted Monty instead.

Don’t worry about coming over tonight. I should be fine by Sunday. I’ll see you Monday.

Sounds good.

The rest of the day I lounged in bed. My mum came in to check on me when she got home. Saturday was much of the same as Friday. I stayed in bed. I read another book. I slept. My illness was doing better. Not well enough to go to the dance, but I could handle toast which was a good sign. Justin called me while he was getting ready at Bryce’s.

“Hey Justin, what’s up?”

“Getting ready with Bryce and the guys.” I could hear the boys roughhousing in the background and Justin’s voice seemed far away. He must have had me on speaker.

“Hi boys.”

“Hey.” They called back.

“You stuck me with him tonight.”

“I’m sick Bryce. I would not be very much fun or help at the dance tonight.”

“You say you’re sick.” Bryce kidded back. He must be in a good mood.

“Would you like me to describe to you in detail what I spent my day doing yesterday?”

“Not really.”

“Didn’t think so. Now boys.”

“Yeah Addy?” Justin asked.

“I need all of your attention.”

“We’re listening.” Zach laughed.

“Oh no. Is she going to give us the lecture?”

“What lecture?” Anders asked.

“Yes. She is.” I said. “Please try to keep the shenanigans to a minimum.”

“But they’re fun.” Justin complained.

“So is not getting arrested. Do not add to the population. Remember that is often a permanent commitment.  However, I do support the right to choose. Do not fight anyone tonight. And please, for the love of God, if you are going to drink, do not spike the punch bowl. Do not be that guy. And don’t be messy drunk. I want to hear no stories about messy drunk athletes come Monday. And another thing, do not drink and drive. If you need a ride, my mum is perfectly happy to go get you and take you home.”

“She took the fun out of a dance in two minutes.” Someone grumbled.

“That was not me taking the fun out. I’m more than okay with some shenanigans. I encourage some. Please have fun for me. I just don’t want you getting anyone pregnant. You’re all old enough to go to the drugstore or the corner store and buy yourselves some damn condoms. If I can go do it, so can you. As for the drinking and driving thing, a DUI is bad. Especially when you’re underage. My mum likes Justin. So she will gladly give someone a ride if they need.”

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Back up. You have condoms?” Bryce asked.

“I’m not the Virgin Mary.”

“Who could you possibly be having sex with?”

“None of your business. And I swear Bryce if you say Justin.” I laughed. I may have said too much.

“You’ll what?”

“She won’t anything. I will.” Justin laughed.

“Oh! One more thing. Don’t screw up Clay’s night.”

“Fine. We won’t. Gotta go, bye.” Bryce said. I could hear him grumbling before Justin hung up. “Wonder how far she’ll go with Jensen, hey Justy?” I rolled my eyes. How can he go from fun and not horrible to a disgusting pig in thirty seconds flat?

By Monday, I was back to feeling like myself. I grabbed a soft cream sweater from my closet and paired it with a floral skirt. A worn in pair of black combat boots and silver studs rounded out the look. I left my hair down to let it air dry without a weird kink in it. Bounding down the stairs, I smiled brightly at my parents. “Morning mum. Morning dad.”

“Morning sweetie.” My mum laughed brightly. My dad looked at me strangely.

“You’re awfully happy this morning.” My smile faltered slightly.

“Well, I’m not physically sick today. I think that warrants being happy. And it’s the last few days before winter break.” There was a voice in the back of my head I tried to ignore. I was happy. I plastered on a smile and grabbed a packet of oatmeal. Silently, I warmed my milk and stirred my breakfast. My parents were going over their schedules for the day. It was just about grade deadline for mum, so she had a stack of tests and papers in her office. Dad was already prepping for tax season in a couple of months. The office at work was stacked too, I’m sure.

“I’m going to take this to school.” I mumbled.

At school, I grabbed my cup of oatmeal to eat before class. “Peaches and cream. Interesting.”

“Jesus.” I gasped. “Morning Monty.”

“Morning Addy.” I began walking to my locker. He fell into step beside me.

“Did you need something?” I was sure people were watching us.

“No. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Okay? You know we are at school, right?”

“Yes. We have chemistry together. Is it really so bad to walk to your locker together?”

“I don’t know Monty.”

“For all anyone knows, I’m looking for Bryce. Who will probably be with Justin. Who will be at your locker.”

“I guess.” I sighed. I handed him my cup of oatmeal. “If you’re going to follow me to my locker, hold this while I get my spoon.” Pulling my bag around me, I took the spoon from the front pocket. Monty handed back my breakfast for me to eat while we walked.

“Peaches and cream oatmeal.” He muttered.

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Just making a mental note.” He smirked. I could see the smile behind his eyes though.

“It was on sale. It was this or plain and plain oatmeal is….”

“Plain.”

“Exactly.”

We made it to my locker, where it just so happened that Justin was waiting for me. With my least favorite white boy in tow. “Hey Justin. Walker.”

“Addy.” Bryce nodded.

“Feeling better?”

“Much. What did I miss Friday?”

“Not a whole lot.” Justin shrugged.

“A better question would be what did we miss?” Bryce asked, looking between Monty and I.

“I was on my way in when I saw her pull in. Figured I’d stop and tell her about what she missed in chem.”

“Which apparently wasn’t much.” I shrugged, scraping the last of my breakfast up. “I need to go to class. I expect a full report on what I missed at the dance at lunch.”

“Jeff will give you one. Don’t worry.” Justin laughed. “You’re awfully invested in Clay and Hannah.”

“I could have been invested in you and Hannah. But….” I looked at Bryce briefly. “Here we are.”

“I don’t think she put out for him, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Monty added.

“Gross.”

“Don’t think he would even know how.” Bryce laughed.

“And I’m leaving. Be nice boys.”

My classes were abuzz with talk of the Winter Formal. Mostly talking about what so and so wore, or who such and such was dancing with, or that one song Tony played that went like this or that. Clearly, I hadn’t missed much. Apparently, Jessica had had one or four too many nips off Bryce’s flask. I rolled my eyes internally. I mean, at least the boys weren’t messy. By the time lunch came, I was excited to hear about anything that wasn’t the dance. I knew, of course, that wouldn’t be the case. But still.

Sliding into my usual seat next to Justin, I placed my head on the table. “What’s eating you?” Scott asked.

“Nothing. I’m just bored of hearing about the dance.”

“It wasn’t that bad. And you haven’t heard Jeff’s retelling of Clay Jensen and Hannah Baker’s dance.”

“I want to hear about that. And then nothing else.” He nodded in understanding.

“Seriously though, are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Just had a long weekend is all. Guess it knocked more out of me than I thought.” I heard him hum. Jeff laughed jovially as he sat down. How can one man be so damn happy all the time?

“You missed quite the dance on Saturday, Addison.”

“It seems that way. Though, anything would be better than what I spent the weekend doing.”

“Fair. You’re feeling better?”

“Yeah. Just tired now.”

“I bet. Now. About the dance. More specifically, Clay and Hannah at the dance.”

“Yes. And then no more dance talk please.”

“Okay. So, Clay was being a wallflower.”

“As usual.”

“Yes. But he was sitting on the bleachers across the gym from Hannah. And he waved and nodded at her. When I told him to go, he was all ‘I can’t dance’ and so I was like ‘no one can dance. It’s a dance.’”

“Of course. No one likes the ones who can dance.”

“That’s what I said! He was awkward as hell and then they were cute. Danced around like idiots. Had the best time. Leah thought it was fantastic. I was waiting for the slow song that was coming. Or I hoped it was. And then it did. They were awkward again.”

“Right.” I adjusted my position and leaned in to listen to him better.

“Hey gu-.” Justin said, sitting down.

“Shh.” Charlie cut him off. “Jeff is telling a story.”

“They almost kissed.”

“Almost?”

“But then Jess….”

“Ah, this part of the story I know. She was messy. And Hannah cleaned it up.”

“Yes. But that was the dance. Good time.”

“I’m sorry I missed it.” The boys around me spent the rest of lunch having their own conversations. Or giving me their own rundown of the dance. I tuned most of that out. It was hard to pretend not to notice the small glances Monty was sending my way. I sent a few his way too.

Christmas break, finals, and January flew by. Before any of us knew it, it was February. Valentine’s Day was fast approaching. Which, if you didn’t know from looking at the calendar, you certainly knew by the annual Oh My Dollar Valentines posters. There were little heart shaped boxes of chocolate at all the stores in town. The price of roses soared exponentially. I rolled my eyes as I passed one the first day of February. Justin tried to get me to buy one that day.

“No. I’m not interested in paying for cheer camp.”

“You’re always on my ass about school spirit.”

“Yeah. Because like it or not, you and your friends run this school. School spirit is not paying for the wonderful cause of sending the squad to cheer camp.”

“Fine.” He grinned mischievously at me. I watched him reach into his pocket as we passed one of the many tables lining the halls. “Two Dollar Valentines please.” My eyes widened.

“Justin. No.”

“Oh but it’ll be fun.” He laughed.

“I don’t care.” I couldn’t help but smile. He held it out to me, but I shook my head. “No way.”

“Suit yourself. I know you well enough to fill it out for you anyways.” Justin grinned and stuck his tongue out at me. You little shit. I reached out to grab the paper from him. I was going to return it. He held it above his head. I tried to grab it again and he waved his arm around.

“Give it to me.” I laughed.

“Nope. Get taller and maybe I’ll consider it.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Well then I guess you won’t be getting the survey.” I huffed at him. He lowered his arms and I tried to take it again. He pushed my hand away and took off running. “It’ll be an exciting surprise.” Justin yelled as he ran.

“Justin Foley!” I yelled back. I love that boy. But sometimes I just want to…. Oh. What am I going to tell Monty?I sighed and turned around, intending to cut Justin off at his first class and steal the stupid survey from him. When I turned however, I collided with someone.

“We should really stop running into each other like this. People might think we are together or something.” Monty said.

“Or they’ll think you have a thing for me. Since you seem to be the one who always approaches me.”

“That is definitely a possibility.” He handed me my keys. “Might need these later. Wouldn’t want someone finding them and trying to use them.” He started to walk away backwards. I followed after him.

“I highly doubt someone would try to steal an ’09 Camry.”

“Never know.”

“Besides. It’s Evergreen County. Nothing ever happens here.”

“True. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yeah. I need to have some words with Justin Foley.”

“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?”

“Maybe.” I rose a brow. Monty gave me a funny look. “I’ll explain later.”

At lunch I stopped Justin in the hall on the way to the cafeteria. Pulling him into an empty classroom, I locked the door. “I need that survey back Justin.”

“Why?”

“Because I have no interest in going on a valentines date with someone. You know I hate Valentine’s Day.”

“It could be fun.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Well, you have thirteen days to change your mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“I submitted it on the way to second period.” I blinked at him. Did he just say…?

“You what?”

“I submitted it already. You’ll be receiving a list of ‘promising matches’ on Valentine’s Day.” Oh no. Throwing my head back, I sighed very heavily.

“I hate you.” I groaned.

“I love you too Addy.” Justin brushed past me to leave. “I’ll save you a seat?”

“Nope. That’s okay. I need a break from the testosterone today.”

“Okay.” As soon as he was gone, I texted Monty.

Hey. I need to talk to you. Can you meet me in the library?

Yeah. Bring a book?

Please. My locker was on the way, so I grabbed my books for the rest of the day.

There was a table free in the back of the room. I snagged it so Montgomery and I could have some privacy. He found me a little while later. I was pretending to be taking notes. In actuality, I was doodling and trying not to think about his reaction to Justin’s little stunt. Or reactions. “What’s going on?” He asked as he sat down.

“Hi to you too.”

“Sorry. Hi. What’s going on?”

“So don’t freak out.”

“Don’t start with don’t freak out and I won’t freak out.”

“Justin uh,” I paused.

“Justin? What?”

“Justin filled out and submitted a Dollar Valentine for me.” I quickly added, “I didn’t ask him to. He just bought it and did it. I was going to get it back from him at lunch, but he submitted it on his way to second.” I looked up. Monty was staring at me. And he was… what is he doing? And then his lip twitched. He was trying not to laugh. “What?”

“That’s what this is about? That is what was so urgent?”

“Yes?”

“The fact that Justin Foley filled out a Dollar Valentine for you?”

“Yes?” I was extremely confused.

“Addison. I really don’t care if he filled out a stupid survey for you. Are you going to go on the date?”

“Of course not!”

“Then I don’t give a shit.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good.” I was still a little hesitant to say anything. “Oh. I should probably mention. I hate Valentine’s Day.”

“Really?” He frowned in confusion.

“Yes. Is that really so hard to believe?”

“Honestly? Yes.”

“Why?”

“You’re a romantic.”

“I know. Which is why I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s the least romantic holiday. If you want to do something nice for me, or get me flowers, show me that you like me, do it on a random day. Not when you have to because it’s a Hallmark holiday.” I was careful not to say the word love. It may have been five months, which is a long time in high school, but we weren’t there yet.

“So, you’re a romantic who hates Valentine’s Day. Okay. Coffee date though?”

“Sure. But not because of what day it is.”

“No. Of course not.” Monty winked at me and then got up to leave. “Come find me after school.” I nodded.

“I’m going to stay here and make Justin sweat a little.”

The next couple of weeks passed slowly. I had forgiven Justin for filling out a Valentine for me a couple of days after he submitted it. After school on the thirteenth, I ran to Walplex to get ingredients for macarons. I browsed the aisles in search of almond flour and raspberry flavouring. Before I left the lot, I texted Monty. Turns out you’re worth it after all. He was busy with practice. I didn’t expect an answer any time soon.

At home, I unloaded my ingredients and put the carton of egg whites in a bowl of lukewarm water to come to room temperature without overheating them. “Hey Siri. Play State Champs on Spotify.”

“Playing State Champs.” I sang along quietly while I went about making my macarons. I said very kind and loving things to the batter aloud. In my head, I was swearing at them with words that would make a sailor blush. He really is worth it.

Dad came home while I was piping the batter onto the Silpat.

“Hi.”

“Hi. What are you doing?”

“Making macarons for my friends.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.” I shrugged. Dad scoffed and shook his head. “What?”

“Nothing.” He snapped. My face didn’t react. Inside, I felt the familiar sensation of becoming smaller and my insides closing in on themselves. Just ignore him. It’s okay. You’re okay.

“Okay.” I replied meekly. Instead of responding, he went and shut himself in the office. I sighed softly to myself and started on my macaron filling while the cookie batter sat on the tray.

Once my cookies were baked and cooled after dinner, I began to fill them. I picked a Wilton number 18 tip, a small star, and piped chocolate ganache around a raspberry on half of the cookies. When they were all filled, I topped each one. Then I carefully placed them in a container and grabbed several napkins. I also put five each in two disposable aluminum containers. One for Justin. And one for Montgomery. “They won’t notice if one is missing.” I muttered to myself. I took a bite, and it was perfect. Not hollow. Still had a chew to it. The outside was crisp. The slightly bittersweet filling complemented the sweetness of the cookie Perfect. I moaned softly. Setting the containers in the fridge so they didn’t melt overnight, I went upstairs to take a shower and get ready for bed.

The next morning it was Valentine’s Day. As much as I hated the holiday, I wasn’t opposed to dressing up. I dug around my closet for something to wear. I had a red circle skirt in mind. I just needed to find something to wear with it. “Hey Siri, what’s the weather today?”

“It’s currently cloudy and forty-five degrees. The high is expected to be fifty-two degrees and the low will be forty-five degrees.”

“Thank you.” Only fifty-two. I can wear a sweater. I pulled out a couple. The red cable knit was too match-y. The plain black was too plain. My last option was a black sweater with white hearts. This is nice. Shrugging it on, I pulled on a pair of black tights to cover my legs. Topping off the look with my favourite diamond studs and a simple charm bracelet, I checked the clock. I had time to paint my nails.

Soon, I was ready for school. I redid my nails in a nice nude shade. Knowing I was going on a date today, I went quite neutral on the makeup. I wanted my skirt and top to be the focus of my look. My parents were putting their breakfast away when I went downstairs. “Morning guys.”

“Morning sweetie.” We exchanged pleasantries with each other. “You look lovely Addison.”

“Thanks Mum. May not like today, but it’s an excuse to wear this sweater.”

“Very true.” She kissed my cheek gently, so her lipstick didn’t transfer.

“Why are there three containers in the fridge Addison?” Oh crap. Uh….

“Because one is for Justin, one is for my friends to share, and the other one is for me when my friends inevitably leave me with none.”

“I see.” He didn’t sound convinced. Or interested for that matter. When does he ever sound interested? He called after me as I was leaving. “Remember your mother and I are going out tonight for dinner and date night.”

“I know.” I smiled at him. “You kids have fun. I’ll see you in the morning.” I smiled brighter when he dipped my mom and kissed her. Gross but so cute.

“I love you, Margot.”

“I love you too, Brooks.” My mom replied.

My friends were waiting at my locker when I got there. “Hey guys. What’s going on?”

“Justin said you were bringing macarons to school.” Charlie grinned.

“Ah yes. You’re here for snacks. Of course. Hey Clay.”

“Hey Addy.” I shooed the boys away from my locker so I could put my bag in and take out the large container.

“These are for sharing.”

“We know. We can share.” Bryce nodded. Sure, you can. I rolled my eyes playfully. Then I set about passing each of the plethora of boys gathered around my locker a napkin. And then I gave them one macaron each. Jeff got two so he had one to give to Leah.

“Why does he get two?” Luke complained.

“Because he has a girlfriend. And I like her. Do any of you have girlfriends I like?” My eyes shifted to Monty minutely. He smirked softly and quirked a brow quickly. No one seemed to notice. “No? Then you get one for now. You can have more at lunch.” The bell rang. The boys began to disperse to their respective classes. I grabbed Justin and gave him his container.

“You’re the best.” He grinned and kissed my temple when he pulled me in for a hug.

“So are you. Now go get educated.” I texted Monty as I walked to class. I’ll give you yours after school.

I think I like being worth it. This is delicious. Why don’t you make these all the time?

Make them with me sometime. You’ll see.

On my way to lunch, I stopped to pick up my Dollar Valentine. “Hey Sheri.”

“Addison! Oh my gosh. When I heard you filled out a survey, I almost didn’t believe it.”

“Justin did it.”

“Oh. At least he knows you. I hope you get better matches than I did.”

“We’ll see.” I waited while she printed out my list. I glanced at it when she handed it to me.

Andrew B.

Cody K.

Daniel R.

Justin F.

Bryce W.

“Oh. My. God.” I laughed.

“What?”

“I matched with Justin. And Bryce Walker. How the hell?”

“Well, Justin knows you best. And he did the survey for you.” Sheri shrugged.

“Okay fair. But Bryce?”

“I don’t have an answer there.” We both laughed and I left to go to the cafeteria to join my friends. While I walked, I called Justin.

“Hey Addy, what’s up?”

“Hey Valentine. Have you picked up your matches yet?”

“I’m just looking at them now. I was just about to call you to see who you matched with.”

“Well, I think you’re my best match.”

“No one else up to your standards?” I was behind him now.

“Nope.” He turned and hung up. “But I have very important plans tonight, so I’ll need a rain check.”

“No problem. Your annual Bones marathon?” Sure.

“You know it. Next season is the last one.”

“Since I can’t take you out tonight, at least let me escort you to lunch.” He held his arm out to me. I grasped it dramatically.

“Such a gentleman.” We laughed hysterically.

Montgomery loved the macarons. We met at Monet’s after school to get coffee to go because it was crowded. Thankfully no one questioned us if they saw us. They were too wrapped up in their own dates to be concerned about us. Our date was wonderful. There was no chocolate in heart shaped boxes. There weren’t any overpriced roses. Just the two of us spending time together privately. Since my parents were out for the foreseeable future, he came back to my place. We hung out for a bit until he had to leave to avoid my parents. All in all, it was a pretty good Valentine’s Day. He found it hysterical that Justin and I were matched for Dollar Valentines.

Spring had sprung in Evergreen in mid-March. By the time April rolled around, flowers were in full bloom again and it was getting warmer and warmer. On a particularly nice Saturday, I woke up in an unusually good mood. I looked out the window and it was sunny, not a cloud in the sky. As I was sitting in bed, I looked around my room. My camera caught my eye on my bookshelf. Maybe today is the day I introduce Monty to my camera. I got ready but didn’t get dressed. It was still early for a Saturday. And I knew Monty was a big fan of sleep.

After an hour or so of putzing around in my room, I decided to call him. “Morning Addy.” He answered. His voice was still thick with sleep. I smiled.

“Good morning sunshine.” I heard him shifting in bed.

“You’re chipper this morning.”

“It’s nice out. It’s finally spring.”

“It is.” He smiled.

“I was wondering if you had plans today?” I eyed my camera.

“No, I don’t think so. What did you have in mind Bookworm?”

“I thought I could introduce you to my other hobby Casanova.”

He gasped dramatically. “You mean to tell me you like things other than books?”

“Yes.” I laughed. “What do you say?”

“I’m in. When and where?”

“The park by the docks? Say, one o’clock?”

“Sure thing.”

“Wear something comfortable.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye baby.”

My parents were in the office working. It was ten am on a Saturday. But it was getting close to exam time for my mom, so she was busy. Tax season was ending, so dad was busy. I opened my bedroom door and called into the house. “I’m going out later. I don’t know how long I’ll be out.”

“Okay honey. Have fun.”

“That’s nice.” I sighed and closed my door. After a quick shower I got dressed. I knew I would probably be moving around a lot today, so I picked a pair of leggings and a loose black t-shirt from American Eagle. I really should go get one of these in every colour. They’re the best shirts. I threw a random cardigan on my bed. It was later joined by my wallet and camera.

Sitting down to do my hair and makeup, I decided to just do a quick French braid. It kept the hair out of my face. I contemplated my makeup for a while. I still had plenty of time to spare. Pressing play on my Spotify and it picked up on a random Beartooth song. Artist Radios are always interesting. I hummed and tapped along with the music while I dug through my vanity. I didn’t have an excessive amount of makeup. Maybe I had a little too much lipstick, but it’s my favourite type of makeup. I kept everything but my lipstick fairly light and neutral. My skin was actually nice today so I could just use concealer and set it. With the rest of my makeup done, I dug through my slightly embarrassing amount of lipstick. “I’m feeling bold today. Red?” I asked myself in the mirror. “Red.” I nodded. I was ready to go now. I chucked the tube of lipstick in my wallet.

It was close to lunch so I texted Monty. Did you want me to make a couple of sandwiches or something?

Sure. I went downstairs and dug through the cheese drawer.

I have turkey, ham, and some other white meat. Possibly chicken?

Ham is okay.

Cheddar okay?

Yup. I made our sandwiches. I knew how he liked his sandwiches now. Placing them in the fridge, I ran upstairs for my camera, camera bag, and now my purse. Our lunch was set on top of my wallet. I threw an ice pack in to keep everything cold and food safe. A couple of snacks joined in before I grabbed my keys.

“I’m leaving now. I’ll see you later.” I called.

“Okay.” My parents called together.

At the park, I met Monty over by a tree. He was wearing jeans and a plain white t-shirt. No flannel. That took me by surprise. He looked damn good though. I stopped on the way over for a couple of coffees from Starbucks. “Hey Casanova.”

“Hey Bookworm.”

“Lunch now or later?”

“Now is good. I could eat.” I rolled my eyes. “What?”

“You’re always hungry.”

“I’m a growing boy.” He defended.

“If you grow anymore, you’ll give Dempsey a run for his money.”

“Never know. They say boys grow again around nineteen.”

“Oh god. I don’t know if I could handle you getting taller.” He laughed.

“Might have to. Never know.” I looked down to hide my blush. I didn’t read into what he said. He was right. You never knew where you could end up. We talked quietly while we ate. Monty regaled me with stories of the baseball game I “missed” yesterday.

“Sounds like a nail biter.” I smiled.

“You don’t like baseball, do you?”

“No.” I replied quickly.

“That mean you’ll never come to a game?”

“Quite possibly. I will go to as many football games as I can though.”

“Deal. Now. What did you want to show me?”

“This.” I said as a pulled my camera out of the bag.

“Oh?”

“Yes. I told you I like photography.”

“I remember. I’m just surprised it took you this long to show it to me.”

“Good things come to those who wait.”

“Okay. I won’t question you.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not Tyler. I keep my photography to when people know about it and can see it.”

“I kind of figured.” I spent some time showing him my camera. It was the first thing I had spent any big amount of money on. I got it a few years ago. I saved up birthday and Christmas money. I never really got an allowance so that’s what I had to work with. I looked out at the water and stood up. Holding my hand out to my boyfriend, I nodded in the direction of the dock.

“Come on.” Montgomery took my hand and we walked to the railing. I examined the water for a few moments quietly. Then I lifted my camera and started shooting. It was beautiful. “It’s nicer at sunset. But daytime shoots are so fun.” I could feel him watching me. A bird was flying close by, so I snapped a picture. “It’s beautiful.” I said softly.

“Very beautiful.”

We wandered around the park together for a few hours. Occasionally we would stop to sit and just people watch. During one of these stops I noticed Monty had turned to look out over the water. The way the light was hitting his face was perfect. I quickly snapped a photo. I wanted to preserve the peaceful look on his face forever. Lord knows the boy could use some peace. He turned to me when he heard the click of the camera. Luckily it didn’t ruin the shot. He was smiling. I couldn’t help myself. I took a quick scan of the area and kissed him. When we pulled away, he quickly wiped the lipstick off. I laughed and dug around in my purse for a makeup wipe. “Here. Use this.”

“Thanks.” I touched up my lipstick. While I was doing that, he took my camera from my lap and snapped a photo of his own. “I’m not very good at this, so don’t be shocked if it comes out crappy.”

“I’m sure it’s great. Here, let me see.” He handed it back. I scrolled to the photo. It was really nice. “This is great Monty.” He nodded but didn’t say anything. Instead, he threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me in close to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. Turning the camera around, I snapped a picture of the two of us. It wasn’t exactly a candid, but it was as close as you could get with a selfie. We called it a night around six o’clock. He had to get home for dinner. I had some homework to do. I also wanted to get our photos transferred as soon as possible.

I walked into the house smiling to myself. Today had been a really great day. I felt good. “What the hell is all over your face?” My dad asked. Not a hello. No other acknowledgement.

“What do you mean?” I reached up to touch my face. Is there something on my face?

“You really caked it on today, didn’t you?” Oh. My makeup. I’d forgotten that he didn’t see me before I left.

“I put on a little makeup. I’m trying to use up a red lipstick.” I shrugged. The small feeling had begun to grow again.

“It makes you look like a prostitute.” Wow. That escalated quickly. My good mood vanished. I set my face. I wouldn’t let him see that he had hurt me.

“Thanks Dad. That was my goal today actually.”

“Don’t take that kind of tone with me, young lady.”

“Okay, whatever. Where’s Mum?”

“At the grocery store.”

“Okay. I’ll be upstairs.”

“Take off the paint while you’re up there.” He called after me.

When I reached my room, I closed the door and slid down it. Not wanting him to know I was crying I went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel. I curled up on my bed and sobbed into the towel. I didn’t care that there would be makeup stains on it. My phone buzzed on the floor. Sitting up, I stood to grab it. It was Monty. I want to see those photos baby.

Okay. I’ll send them over when I’m done.

Looking forward to it.

Yeah.

If I forgot to say, you looked pretty today.

Thanks. I wasn’t sure I believed him after what my dad said.

Any other mystery hobbies you want to show me?

Don’t think so.

Not even the art of knitting?

Maybe.

You okay Addy?

Yeah. Just tired.

Okay. I’ll talk to you later then.

Sure. I didn’t answer his next text. It was too much effort to do it now. I just wanted to lay in bed and be sad.

[jade4813]

Like Moths to a Flame, Chapter 10

Fandom: North and South

Title: Like Moths to a Flame

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: John/Margaret

Synopsis: “I hope you realize that any foolish passion for you on my part is entirely over.“ Margaret decides to confront John about his unjust judgment of her character, but the two have always been drawn to each other, and things quickly get out of hand. In the aftermath, she agrees to marry him to satisfy propriety, but she cannot forget how ready he was to believe the worst of her. Can love survive without trust, or will the two find a way to work through the misunderstandings that have plagued their relationship from the start?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Though John would never consider time spent with Margaret wasted – nor would he ever regret a single second of it – it did make the subsequent days longer as he strove to find a solution to his financial problem. The debt owed to the bank was a few hundred pounds – a paltry amount compared to what was owed him for orders that his workers had rushed through. He hoped each day for a miracle, that he would receive sufficient outstanding payments to satisfy the bank loan and secure his workers’ payroll, but he waited in vain. The bank’s deadline drew ever nearer, his coffers dwindled, and no miracle loomed on the horizon.

Had he been foolish to refuse Watson’s proposed speculation? If it succeeded, the profit from the venture would clear his debt and secure payroll for months to come. If it failed, however, what little funds he had to pay his people would be lost, with no hope of recovery. He would have left his workers destitute, and he felt he owed them more than to gamble with their livelihoods.

But if it succeeded…

He’d never before understood the siren’s song of speculation, which had led his own father to his death. In the aftermath of the elder Thornton’s self-inflicted demise, John had been forced into a life of poverty and self-deprivation, leaving school to care for his mother and sister and sparing as much money as he could each week to pay his father’s creditors, long after they’d given up any hope of satisfaction.

He’d worked hard, and in the secret recesses of his heart, he’d judged his father harshly for throwing away their fortunes on what amounted to little more than a game of chance. He’d never spoken of his recrimination or his shame aloud, out of consideration for his remaining family’s feelings – though his mother had never been one to mince words when it came to her own judgment, and Fanny had been too young and lacked the sentimental disposition required to be overly protective of either her affection for or her memory of the father she’d lost.

Now, however, he understood the temptation that had lured his father to his ruin, though his own sense of honor and the duty he owed those in his charge had caused him to shy away from the risky venture, no matter how high the potential reward. His refusal had angered Fanny, who had sworn that reward was certain and promised to be considerable, but John knew better than most that speculation was merely that, and not even the wisest of men could guarantee a positive result.

And yet, if it succeeded…

If he’d gambled his mill’s future on the speculation and it turned a profit, his business would be clear of debt. His workers would be paid. He could continue to care for his mother in the manner he had for most of his adult life. He could provide Margaret with the life she deserved, if not the life she’d wanted. And nobody would ever have to know how bad things had been.

John shook his head, running his hands through his hair in a gesture of frustration and despair. No, there was no use in thinking about what might have been. He’d rejected Watson’s offer. He’d refused to engage in speculation, not when the cost of one ill-judged gamble could ruin so many lives. If he’d thrown his hat into the ring and the speculation failed, he’d lose the mill. The house. His workers would be out of jobs and left to starve, if they were unable to find work elsewhere. His mother’s situation would fall to what it had once been, after many years spent in comfort and security. And his wife…

If he’d speculated with his workers’ livelihoods and lost, recklessly subjecting them possible starvation, to the poverty from which he’d once uplifted himself, he wouldn’t be able to look at himself in the mirror without feeling shame. A man who could be so inattentive to his responsibility to others could never hope to deserve Margaret or the love he still wished in his heart might one day be his.

So he applied himself to work, each day seeming longer than the last. His beloved Margaret never chided him for his absence or his neglect, though she always seemed to anticipate the point at which reason was driven to the edge by exhaustion, as she would come to him on those evenings and silently draw him home with her, to sleep by her side. He could not fully confess his fears to her, but neither could he resist her, and his love for her sustained him every bit as much as her tender consideration brought him comfort.

But as the days passed, a nagging sense of doubt grew in his mind, a quiet whisper that warned that Margaret might not be as content as he would wish. Even as his financial apprehensions eclipsed other concerns vying for his attention, he noticed her increasingly troubled expression when she thought him unaware, though the worry lines smoothed from her countenance each time he turned her way. But she never spoke of her concerns, and he – weak, lovesick fool that he was – couldn’t summon the courage to ask, for fear that her preoccupation lay elsewhere. If her distress stemmed from regret, perhaps exacerbated by increasing concerns that he would fail to live up to his promise to provide her comfort and security, his heart would break anew.

Desiring to reassure her of the fidelity of his promise, John was determined to redouble the attention he paid his wife. To that end, he returned home one evening earlier than he typically had of late – the lure of Margaret’s company being far greater than that of the paperwork on his desk – to find her father in their drawing room, the other man having stopped by for a visit. Although slightly disappointed that his more amorous intentions would by necessity be delayed, John always enjoyed Richard Hale’s company and was pleased his calendar was free enough to appreciate it.

His pleasure was only heightened when he saw Margaret’s cheerfulness at the visit. “Mr Bell has invited Father to visit him in Oxford, and I’m encouraging him to go. Don’t you think it’s an excellent idea?” she explained, before turning her attention back to their guest. “It’s been so long since you’ve been to visit, and the weather’s turning warmer, so the roads will be a little easier.”

Mr Hale seemed encouraged by her enthusiasm. “I might go,” he acknowledged. Nodding, as much to himself as to her, he murmured, “Yes, yes. I think I might.”

With that decision seemingly fixed, their conversation turned to other matters for a while, until Richard stood to leave. “I think I will go to Oxford,” he declared, the idea clearly breaking him much joy. John and Margaret wished him well – the latter admonishing him to dress warmly, as there was still a chill in the air – and then he was on his way with their blessings.

Had John known it would be the last time Margaret would share his company, he would have begged the man to stay a while longer. Sadly, prescience was not among his accomplishments.

Although Margaret tried to find contentment in her present circumstances, the things left unsaid between husband and wife preyed upon her thoughts, seemingly increasing her anxiety by the hour. She loved John – more ardently than she ever would have ever supposed – and her silence on that score felt suffocating. She wanted to tell him of her feelings, but questions plagued her mind, sapping away both her contentment and her courage.

She had no illusions that John had come to trust her before taking her hand in marriage. Did he still doubt her integrity? Did he question her faithfulness? Would his opinion of her, once tarnished in his mind, forever carry a shadow of his distrust, even once the truth was known?

Even if she were to put her fears behind her, she couldn’t find the words to share her confession. It seemed impossible to do so without broaching the subject of the scene he had witnessed on the train platform, which had caused him such disgust and brought her so much pain. With so much weighing on his heart already, was it fair of her to upset whatever peace he’d managed to find thus far in their marital harmony?

What if he didn’t believe her? What if he was hurt she hadn’t spoken up before? His anger gave her no cause for alarm, but she couldn’t bear the thought of inflicting additional pain upon him. She would never wish to exact injury upon anyone, him least of all. Not her husband. Not the man she loved. And certainly not now, when his troubles were otherwise so great.

As the weeks passed immediately following her self-revelation, Margaret often found herself on the brink of confessing all to her husband. On each occasion, fear and inconvenient timing silenced her tongue. When the time was right, she promised herself that she would broach the topic of his suspicion and determine whether the trust she so needed to find true happiness in marriage had been regained. If so, she would tell him the truth. And confess to him her love.

In the meantime, she strove to provide him with such contentment, peace, and comfort as was within her power to give. She gave such assistance at the mill as she was able during the day and let her love wash over him at night, her body betraying the secrets of her heart, even if her lips could not. She felt his overwhelming weariness when they made love, pressing her mouth against the deep lines in his brow and offered him her strength when he sagged against her, his cheek pressed against her shoulder. In the aftermath of their coupling, he would fall asleep in her arms, the steady rise and fall of his chest and rhythmic beat of his heart soothing her own cares.

They had been married long enough for Margaret to grow accustomed to the idea but not long enough to overcome the full measure of her shyness – engrained in her from the time she was a child – at her husband viewing her nakedness when she awoke early one morning to see John standing before the fire, preparing his ablutions for the day ahead. He was stripped to the waist, his skin gleaming in the faint light. The fire in the grate was newly lit, its illumination weak and almost begrudging, but it was bright enough for her to see the ripple of muscles beneath his skin as he bent to splash cold water upon his face. She found herself entranced by the solid cord of muscle in his stomach and arms, the play of light and shadow against his upon his bare skin.

Though she doubted he would consider it a compliment, looking at him like this, she could only think how beautiful he was to her. How cherished. He stole her heart and took her breath away.

The sight of him drew her out of bed, the floor cold beneath her bare feet as she crossed the room, resting her hand gently upon his lower back as he straightened. He turned to face her, beads of moisture trailing down his face, and she placed her hand over his, gently tugging the towel from his grasp. He watched in silence as she tossed it aside and didn’t protest when she pressed her free hand against his chest and gave it a firm push, leading him into a nearby chair.

John didn’t say a word as he lowered himself into the seat, but his gaze missed nothing as she cast a critical eye upon the implements he’d laid out beside his washbowl. The shaving razor was open, its blade gleaming, already sharpened upon the strop in preparation for the task at hand. His soap had also already been prepared, the applicator brush resting nearby.

Margaret picking up the brush and mug of shaving soap, working up a lather as she turned back to her husband. His gaze had fallen to her hips, and she realized with a start that, standing before the fire as she was, the outline of her body would be visible through the thin fabric of her nightgown. The thought made her flush, but she feigned ignorance of the view she presented, even as she showed her body off to its best advantage, bending over him to lather his cheeks and chin.

John reached for her, bracing her hips in his palms. His hands were still damp from his morning wash, moistening the fabric of her dress. She shivered, biting back a soft moan of longing, when he pulled her forward until she straddled his chair, her thighs brushing the coarse fabric of his trousers. Unwilling to allow him to distract her from her purpose, she forced her attention to the task at hand, casting a critical eye upon his face to ensure the lather was sufficiently distributed. Then she reached for the razor, her hand trembling slightly as she lifted it to his cheek.

What had seemed like a good idea when she’d started was much more daunting now, when she held the sharpened razor in her hand and prepared to apply it to his bare skin. What if she made a mistake? What if she slipped and injured him? She hesitated, preparing to draw away, but he reached up and wrapped his hand around her own. His eyes were trusting, his gaze warm, as he drew the razor toward his cheek, adjusting the exact angle of the blade before pressing it gently against his skin. Then he dropped his hand, putting his fate entirely in her hands.

Margaret sucked in a sharp breath and narrowed her eyes, focusing the entirety of her attention upon the blade as she scraped it gently against his skin, breathing out a heavy sigh of relief when she managed her first pass without causing injury. Feeling more confident, she applied the blade again, her motions slow and cautious. As she worked, the back of her neck grew damp from the warmth of her fire, and the caress of John’s breath fanned her face as she leaned forward, intent upon her task. She could feel his gaze upon her, but it wasn’t distrust in his eyes. It was desire. Her answering need nearly overwhelmed her, and she required a moment to recollect her composure before she could continue.

With one side completed, John adjusted the angle of his head so  that she could complete the job. Her heart pounded when she felt his hands slide under the hem of her nightdress, teasing the soft, sensitive skin of her thighs, and she sucked in an unsteady breath.

As she pulled the razor away, he slipped his fingers inside her, stroking her gently. Her head fell back with a moan, but she strove to gather her wits and regain control. Bracing her free hand on his shoulder, she cast an accusatory glance at his face, only to receive an unrepentant smile in return. However, the consciousness of his own well-being  was such that he returned his hands to her hip when she wiped the lather off the blade, lifting it to continue her task.

Margaret’s heart pounded as she slid the razor along the curve of his jaw, and he tilted his head back to allow her greater access to his neck. Her efforts were perhaps not as clean as his would have been, but he didn’t seem to mind. When she finished her last pass, she grabbed a damp towel to wipe away the rest of the lather, but John gently tugged the blade from her hand, letting it fall to the floor. Then his mouth was upon her, teasing the bare flesh above the neck of her nightgown.

She opened her mouth to sigh his name, but the sound was captured by his lips as he pulled her firmly against him, pressing her against his hardness. Grabbing the bottom of her nightgown, he lifted it over her head and tossed it aside, and even in the increasing warmth of the room, she shuddered as she was bared before him. John didn’t seem to find anything amiss, however, as his attention was captivated by her smooth perfection.

Lifting his hand to cup her breast, Margaret found herself enthralled as she always was by his caress. The calluses on his palms were rough against her sensitive skin, but his touch was far from unpleasant. Her head fell back, exposing the curve of her neck, as he brushed a thumb against her aureole until her nipple beaded under his palm.

Her hands had fallen on his shoulders, and she gave in to the temptation to trail her fingertips down his chest, tracing the curve of muscle and bone. She felt first the rapid beat of his heart, then the muscles of his stomach shudder as he sucked in a sharp breath, and knew he wasn’t unaffected by her touch. In the light cast by the fire and the soft sunrise, his eyes were dark and filled with need. She wove her fingers into his hair, pressing him to her, as he bowed his head and sucked her breast into his mouth, teasing her with his tongue. She could feel the strength in his hands when he grasped her hips, guiding her motions as she rocked against him.

Only one layer of fabric separated their bodies, causing Margaret no end of frustration. Pressing her hands against his chest, she lifted off him far enough to reach for the buttons of his trousers. In her haste and her desire, her fingers were clumsy and awkward. Their hands tangled together when he attempted to assist her, causing her to laugh, the sound soft and strained.

She had only just managed to pull him free when he grabbed her thighs and pulled her into his lap once more, pausing only long enough to carefully guide himself inside of her. Margaret gasped as she sank onto him, her response inspired as much by the ominous creaking of the chair beneath them as the sudden fullness of his thrust. Anxious about the unsteadiness of their perch, she tightened her thighs around him and wrapped her arms around his neck, slowly rolling her hips against his.

John tucked his head against the curve of her neck, tickling her with the faint traces of stubble she’d overlooked in her earlier ministrations. His mouth scraped against her skin, eliciting a soft moan, while his hands explored her body, lingering in every spot which had previously brought her pleasure. He kissed the curve of her ear, her cheek, her chin, and Margaret rewarded his efforts with another slow roll of her hips.

Once again, she wrestled with the temptation to speak of her feelings, but this was hardly the time to do so. Her confession – or, rather, confessions, as she believed she had identified a multitude that must be made by now – deserved more consideration than a rashly uttered declaration in the midst of lovemaking. They also required more deliberation than to be hastily blurted over breakfast, or on the way out the door to attend to more pressing concerns and outstanding appointments.

Still, her secret feelings nearly overwhelmed her, swelling within her breast until she couldn't speak for love of him. Leaning back slightly, she wrapped one hand behind his neck to hold him in place as her gaze swept over the face that had engraved itself upon her heart. Their eyes met, and she found she couldn’t tear her gaze away, entranced as she was by the play of emotions upon his face and in his eyes…

Once again, she marveled that she ever could have thought him to be cold and cruel, that she ever could have mistaken his hardness for lack of feeling. Though his features were under his command, frequently schooled into either an impassive mask or a glower of disdain, his eyes betrayed him. Even when he had accused her of impropriety, when he’d told her his passion for her had ended, the chill of his words hadn’t wounded her half so much as that which lay behind those blue eyes, which revealed much, but also saw more than she wished.

Margaret was overwhelmed by a sudden wave of fear at what he might comprehend of her own feelings. In an act of self-preservation, she tore her gaze away, pressing her cheek against the curve of his shoulder as he lifted his hips, plunging inside her.

As she met each powerful thrust with a roll of her hips, Margaret clung to her husband, wishing for nothing more than to prolong this interlude. She felt the muscles beneath her tense and knew he was nearing completion, so she increased the rhythm of her hips, pressing her mouth against his neck to taste the saltiness of his skin as his muscles grew taut and he poured himself inside her. The momentarily respite didn’t last long, however, as he cupped one hand behind her head, holding her against him as he slid the other between her legs, stroking her deftly until wave upon wave of pleasure crashed over her and she found her own release.

She collapsed against him, spent and unwilling to let him go, although she knew she couldn’t hold him in this moment forever. The harsh rasp of their breathing filled her ears, but as their hearts slowed and breathing steadied, the room grew quiet, save for the soft crackle of the fire in the grate. When she could put off the inevitable no longer, she lifted her head off John’s shoulder, though she wasn’t yet able to meet his eyes, still uncertain of what her own would reveal.

“Margaret?” His voice was soft and uncertain, and her heart wrenched at the aching vulnerability it betrayed. She was unequal to the task of giving voice to her inner turmoil, so she stared at his lips as she stroked her fingers along the side of his face. Cupped his cheeks in her palms, pressed her mouth against his, drawing his tongue inside her parted lips. In unspoken reassurance, she deepened the embrace until she felt his lingering tension ebb away. When the kiss ended, she drew back to meet his eyes, confident that her own would no longer divulge her secrets.

Climbing off his lap, Margaret rushed to retrieve her nightgown from the floor, quickly pulling it on before turning her attention back to her husband. In the early morning light, Margaret was forced to acknowledge that she made for an imperfect barber, more than one small patch of stubble having escaped her blade, but John issued no complaint. Instead, he used a towel to wipe away what remnants of shaving soap remained, though Margaret noticed that a fair amount had transferred to her person.

Once he had dried his face with a towel, he began to toss it beside the bowl when Margaret grabbed his hand, staying his motion. There, on the bright white fabric, was a small red stain, a sign she had not been as careful with the razor as she had wished. Stretching onto her toes, she examined his skin and noticed the tiniest nick just below his right ear.

“I’m sorry,” she said, speaking as much for her continued silence as the injury she had inflicted upon him.

Touching a finger to the wound, he shook his head. “It’s not deep. It’ll heal soon enough.” He cast a glance at the window, and Margaret knew his mind was turning toward the mill, to the work left undone and the hours that lay ahead of him. Longing to steal just a few more precious moments with him, she helped him to dress, asserting the privilege of such intimacy that only a wife could claim.

The hour was growing late, and Margaret knew her husband was eager to begin his day, but still he hesitated, brushing a lock of hair off her cheek once she had finished straightening his cravat. “Margaret—” he began, a line of worry creasing the skin between his brows, “Forgive me for pressing, but you seem troubled. If something is bothering you, you can confide in me.”

Her heart twisted at the understanding that he had seen more than she’d wished, recognizing the fact of her preoccupation, although he did not yet understand the cause. Pulling him to her, she pressed a kiss against that telltale evidence of his concern. “It’s nothing,” she attempted, though she didn’t need to see his face to anticipate his answering skepticism. Taking his hands in hers, she remarked, “It’s getting late, and work is more important. I don’t want to keep you any longer than I already have.”

John wasn’t willing to be so easily deterred, tightening his hold on her hands. “My work may be necessary, but there is nothing in the world more important to me than you.”

His words gave her hope, and she smiled at him with all the sweetness she felt in her heart. “Very well, but it’s not – I’m not troubled, precisely, but – do you think we could steal some time alone together this evening? There are some matters we should discuss.”

With obvious reluctance at the delay, he agreed, capturing her lips in one more kiss before heading out the door. Little did either of them know that a visit from Mr Bell later that same day would bring news that would drive all other concerns from her mind. For a while, at least.

[nocturnal-jeon]

𝚋𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗➛ 𝚜/𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚜 (𝚑𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎)

damn, angst is my thing i guess lol

and i split this up cause i made these whole ass stories so 

Kim Namjoon

It was comeback season (HAVE YALL LISTENED TO THE NEW ALBUM I-) and while he was always the best boyfriend at making sure he spent a good amount of time with you during the week, his main focus needed to be on work due to several deadlines and the lingering pressures in his mind to impress the fans. 

It was also exam season for you, and typically, your studying habits wouldn’t ruin your time with Namjoon simply because he would help you study and give you kisses or food if you got an answer right on the little mini quizzes he would make. Namjoon would spend hours working and even sleep in the studio, leaving you in your shared bed at home by yourself surrounded by papers and packets. 

Namjoon had staff that would force him to take care of himself. He also had six other members who were all in the same boat and knew the pressures of comeback season, so not only did they understand, but they were struggling with taking care of themselves, too. The staff would leave food in his studio and the members would force him to sleep for a few hours, but you didn’t have that. 

You didn’t have multiple people doing things for you to ensure that you were giving enough attention to your health. So, when you miss multiple meals and fall asleep at 3 in the morning only to wake up three hours later for an early study session, not even Namjoon was there to help you take care of yourself. But you were far too tired to even think about anything that had nothing to do with your studies. 

As busy as his schedule was, Namjoon made sure to come to your presentation. Rather than a paper, you simply had to give a presentation on a topic to the class and whoever felt inclined to watch. You stood near the computer off to the side as you skimmed the slide shows, looking for any grammatical errors or inconsistencies in text size. 

You didn’t even notice that Namjoon had entered the room and sat down, but when his eyes were the first pair that you met when you began, your anxiety spiked. Namjoon had such a busy schedule and you didn’t want him to waste his precious time on a horrible presentation. So, with the clearing of your voice, you began. 

And things were fine. Namjoon watched in awe as you spoke clearly and make eye contact with almost everyone in the room. But he grew confused when your words began to slur a bit and you began to stumble in your sentences. As you looked up at the board for reference, the words began to double and the mellow blue tone muddled together and fogged up your sight. And before Namjoon knew it, your body hit the cold floor with a thud as gasps filled the room. 

Using his long legs, he bolted towards the front of the classroom and winced when he saw a thin trail of blood from the back of your head where it had hit the floor. With shaky hands, he put two fingers up to your neck, later pulling back with a sigh of content as he felt it as strong as ever. You were always a fighter. As the police were being called, Namjoon picked up your body and sat it on his lap as he rubbed your back, hoping you would come to quickly. And as he held your body, he realized how frail it was and how light you had become. Your thighs seemed slimmer, your stomach no longer had the cute little rolls he loved, and your cheeks were beginning to sink in. And underneath the makeup, he could see the deep and dark bags under your eyes. 

Guilt hit Namjoon like a truck as he realized that he didn’t know how stressed and how poorly you were taking care of yourself. He watched with sad eyes filled with tears as you got lifted onto the gurney. Namjoon made a mental note to take better care of you. As you recovered, he would email all of your teachers and get extensions, and once you were able to come home, he would bring his work home and only touch it when you were asleep. When you were awake, however, Namjoon was feeding you, holding you, and watching movies with you. Anything, just so you wouldn’t doubt his love for you but also so that your health was being taken care of. 

He got nervous when you began to start working on your schoolwork again, but you constantly reassured him that you were going to be fine. He would make study schedules for you and have Jin stock the refrigerator with food and he would grow worried if a container of food hadn’t been eaten, and if you hadn’t, he would sit there in front of you as you ate and watch with eyes filled with fear. 

Once the comeback was over and you had passed your exams with flying colors, Namjoon took you on a vacation so you could both de-stress and reclaim your love for each other. 

Kim Seokjin

You were the type to constantly get sick, so when you came down with what seemed like another cold, Jin was waiting at your bedside with hot soup, tea, tissues, and snacks. It was food, after all, that brought you and Jin together, so there was always a smile on your face when you saw your doting boyfriend with food in his arms. 

Your symptoms were never consistent, but Jin, doubling as your mother, claimed he could see a cold a mile away, so he always gave you the same medicines, healthy snacks, and soup when you would begin to feel ill. 

Jin was always there to nurse you back to health, and even if he was busy, he would leave the food labeled on his side of the bed so you didn’t have to get up. You often felt sick and nauseous, but you didn’t always want to be babied and treated like a patient in a hospital, so a lot of the time you kept it to yourself. 

One day, in particular, you were feeling ill and Jin could sense it, but he had to work that day, so he made you a day’s worth of food, left you multiple post-it note reminders to drink water and rest, and kissed every inch of your face before he left early in the morning for practice. 

You felt so nauseous, though, that you couldn’t even eat a tiny bit of the beautifully prepared food. You felt bad, but you knew Jin wouldn’t enjoy cleaning up vomit on the bed, so you settled with watching various movies and tv shows, drinking water every five minutes like Jin instructed. But, after a little while, you ran out of water, so very weakly, you got out of bed and slowly walked down the stairs, glass in hand, to get more. But without getting the slightest warning, your body fell down the remaining three stairs, the glass shattering besides your fallen figure. 

Jin arrived home an hour and a half later, carrying your favorite takeout in his arms with a smile on his face. He figured you deserved a treat since you’ve been such a fighter. But the food dropped on the ground when his eyes came across your unconscious body. Rushing towards you shouting your name, he laid you down flat on the ground and examined your body for injuries as he blindly searched through his pockets for his phone. There was a massive bump and bruise on your head, but you were still breathing. 

Screaming and crying into the phone, he urged an ambulance come at once. He placed the phone on the floor as he stroked your face, chanting your name and hoping you would hear him and wake up. 

As you laid resting in the hospital bed, Jin sat by your side, your weak and limp hand in his as he tried to go through the events of the past few days in his head and see what was different this time about you feeling sick. But he couldn’t figure it out. 

The doctor entered the room, a clipboard in hand. Jin’s head shot up. “Well, it’s good you got there when you did. We ran multiple tests and we discovered that she’s hypoglycemic. It means she has low blood sugar,” the doctor explained, causing Jin to only grow more confused. But, with the doctor explaining more, Jin began to understand. He also, however, began to blame himself for excusing your symptoms as that of a cold. He took extra care of you, even taking a few days off to make sure you knew how to better care for yourself but also so he could learn how to better care for you. Using his cooking skills, Jin always made you food that would help rise your blood sugar and he always lightly scolded you when you didn’t eat the foods that aided it. 

Min Yoongi

Like Namjoon, Yoongi often spent hours on end in the studio perfecting his craft and making deadlines, but he wasn’t as good at Namjoon when it came to making time for you. Yoongi would often lose track of the days of the week when he was so deep in a zone. You always respected that because when you two first started dating, he wanted to make it very clear that he would be busy a lot, but you loved him enough and you always made sure you were here for him.

Though he never advised you to wait up for him, you couldn’t help it. Yoongi’s secure arms around your sleepy body were the equivalent of lullabies, and you needed Yoongi in order to sleep. He knew this, and he would try to get home once he was done, but he would often fall asleep in his chair. Other nights though, rarely, he would slide into bed and pull your back against him, his face settling in the crook of your neck as he placed a quick kiss before falling asleep.

You lost count of how many sleepless nights you spent on the couch waiting for Yoongi to come home. But, as you began to realize, he never really did. You worked a normal 9-5, so you weren’t at home for most of the day and that way, you could fill your empty mind with thoughts about work. 

The boys were having a listening party at Bighit with all the staff to see how they all react to the new album before it’s released. Yoongi felt this would be a great chance for you to spend some time together along with the boys. He said he would meet you there. And so, yawning as you did, you put on some jeans and a nice shirt, not really knowing what to wear. You brushed your hair for a minute, not having any energy whatsoever to curl it as you usually did. 

You made your way to BigHit and entered the large banquet room and searched with tired eyes for Yoongi. He sat in the corner with Jimin and you slowly and sluggishly walked over to them. Yoongi’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw you approach. “Hey, baby,” he said with a smile as he stood up and pulled you into a hug. You hadn’t seen each other for a few days as he was so busy, but being in his arms was like heaven, so you secretly hoped the hug would last forever, but he pulled away. Yoongi wasn’t a big fan of PDA when he was at work and around staff. 

“Hey, y/n, how are you?” Jimin asked with a smile. You mustered up the last of your energy to smile and say, “I’m doing great, how are you, Jimin?” “I can see the glare Yoongi is giving me, so I’ll leave you to alone,” Jimin said with a laugh before turning around and walking away. Yoongi’s arm lazily slinked around your waist. “I missed you,” he hummed into your ear, sending shockwaves throughout your aching body. “I guess I missed you, too,” you joked, causing a breathy laugh to emit from his lips you so badly wanted to kiss. But you were in public and you didn’t want Yoongi to get angry. 

“Everyone, we’re going to start, so if you could all settle down and get quiet!” Some important looking person shouted as the crowd of people quickly got quiet. The first song began to play and you saw as Taehyung and Jungkook began jumping around like idiots when the rap line went in. You smiled and looked at Yoongi. He stared back at you, wanting to gauge your reaction. Bringing your lips close to his ear, you whispered, “it’s amazing, baby. Absolutely amazing.” He smiled and placed the quickest kiss on your cheek. The songs played and played, but you began to get a bit parched. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink of water. I’ll be back.” 

But you never made it to the table in the back with refreshments. After taking a few steps, your body lost all of its power and you collapsed on the carpeted floor. At first, people didn’t really notice as all of the focus was on BTS, but when Yoongi heard “Hyung!”, his head snapped towards the back of the room. There Hoseok was next to your unconscious body as he lightly slapped your cheeks. Yoongi wasn’t the athletic type, but he ran faster than the speed of light to you, worry evident all over his face. 

“What happened?” he demanded, looking around at his fellow members, a tiny bit angry for no real reason. “I saw her and she just fell,” Hoseok explained. “Y/n, babe, wake up,” Yoongi said as he shook your body. Slowly, your eyes fluttered open and your cheeks burned red when you saw several pairs of eyes on you. Groggy, you mumbled incoherent sounds. While Yoongi was relieved you were awake, he could see what had been going on. You haven’t been sleeping. 

“You need to sleep, Y/n! Damnit, do you realize how detrimental this could be to your health?” he scolded. You felt embarrassed more than anything as your boyfriend scolded you as if you were a child in a room filled with people. “Yoongi, back off a little. Just take her home,” Namjoon said as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Nodding, Yoongi helped you up and held you securely in his arms as he carried you out of the building and drove you home. 

He didn’t say anything on the way home, too angry to say anything, too caring to not yell at you like he wanted to. He carried you to your shared bed and tucked you in, but he left the room and left you confused. But you were far too tired to piece it together. “At least a few days. I need to be here.” You overheard a bit of his conversation outside of the bedroom as your eyes fluttered shut. And so, Yoongi crawled into bed and wrapped his arms around you, bringing your back against his chest and he placed multiple kisses along your shoulder. 

“We’ll talk in the morning. But get sleep, y/n. I love you,” he whispered. 

Jung Hoseok

You and Hoseok had a relationship that seemed more like that of a best friendship. You both had loud, expressive laughs, shared the same sense of clothing style and shared some of the same skills. Though both of your busy idol schedules led to not a lot of time being spent together, whenever you did, you made the most of it and always did something fun. 

With you being a singer and Hoseok being a rapper, you produced some of the best songs Korea has ever heard together and Hoseok couldn’t have dreamed of a better person to collaborate with. While Friday nights were filled with pizza and movies for some couples, you and Hoseok would spend those nights in the dance studio being complete idiots together. 

Most of the practices you both shared together were fun, but your comeback was coming soon, so Hoseok played the dance teacher and helped you perfect moves if they were executed incorrectly, but because you were as talented as Hoseok when it came to dance, there weren’t very many corrections to be made. On this particular Friday, you just couldn’t get this one part right. You watched as Hoseok did it perfectly, and for no reason at all, you felt yourself getting angry because he could do it but you couldn’t. It was hard being in a relationship with someone who you viewed as the best dancer in the world. 

“Y/n, just take it slow and do it step by step,” he instructed as he watched from the corner as you stood in the center of the room in sweatpants and a sports bra. Your body glistened from the sweat and your muscles ached from overuse, but you had to get this right. “I am!” you snapped, pushing the stray hairs back in frustration. You looked up to see the hurt expression on Hoseok’s face in the reflection of the mirror. “I’m sorry, baby. I just..I need to get this right and my window of time for mistakes is closing,” you explained in a more mellow voice as you walked over to him. 

“You’re just overthinking this. You’ve done this part a million times by now, so I know you know it,” he said as he reached over and rubbed your tense shoulders, resulting in a long, drawn-out sight to escape your lips. “I wanna do it again,” you said. He eyed you. “You’re going to overwork yourself. I think you’ve done enough for tonight, babe,” he said. You shook your head and went back to the center of the room, getting into your starting position. “Just play the music, Hoseok,” you said in all seriousness. Reluctantly, he replayed the music and watched as you danced with such aggression and passion. 

During a part in which you had no choreography, you stood and waited for your cue, but Hoseok watched confused as your body began to sway. As soon as your body aimed straight for the floor, he sprinted and caught you before you fell. “Y/n, wake up. Come on, wake up, baby,” he said as he held your head gently. Though you were only out for two minutes or so, you had definitely spooked Hoseok and he was over the moon concerned. “You’re done for tonight, okay? We’re going home,” he said as he gently helped you up. You opened your mouth to object, but he shook his head. “I shouldn’t have even let you do it another time. That’s my fault. But we’re going home, y/n. You need a break,” he instructed, and all you could do is nod as you slumped against his body. 

He supported your body as you both went home. He ran a bath and washed your body and your hair, not missing the chance to make a beard out of the bubbles in the soap and lightening the mood. He then helped you get dressed, spoon fed you some ice cream and cuddled you in bed until you fell asleep. Never again would he let you push yourself to the edge like that. 

[goodnightkisseu]

Kim Jaehwan - Muse

Requested By: anonny~ (“ Hello there! I wanted to send in a request for Jae Hwan! I know he's portrayed as someone who's silly with a crazy laughter most of the time, but I rarely see a fic with him as a serious or deep person, which he totally is! You have to be to write and compose songs, right? So...I'd like to request for composer Jae Hwan who is struggling to finish a song but then meets his muse. Can't wait!!!! ”)

Genre: Fluff

Note: So when I first got this idea I was really anticipating it, because I do agree with the requester that Jaehwan probably has a deep and serious side to him that we don’t often get to see. I liked the idea a lot and this quieter fic came from it. I hope that you all enjoy it and as always, feel free to let me know what you think! ^^

Enjoy~

Because of the situation with tumblr links, please check my bio for links to my masterlist~

- goodnightkisseu’s admin / ashley <3

Jaehwan often wondered what word could pinpoint his current predicament. Struggling? Would that be the correct word? No, that was far too simplistic for what was going on. It was more than that. Overall, he was having a hard time finding the right words to form beautiful lyrics, to put together the proper melodies. It was deeper than struggling. It was more like, he lacked motivation. Things weren’t coming to him like they used to. He knew what this feeling was, and yet he didn’t want to admit to himself what was going on.

He was… uninspired.

Honestly, this was the most terrifying word for songwriters, Jaehwan included. To be uninspired meant that nothing was worth writing. It meant that those magical words couldn’t flow together to form anything exciting. Unfortunately, this was how Jaehwan had been feeling for the last two months. Nothing had felt right. Nothing had that emotion to it. Nothing made him want to keep writing, to keep composing. He was just in a state of being. Of these ideas existing, but not coming to life.

Normally, songwriting came easily to Jaehwan. Others liked to call him a prodigy of his craft, but it was far simpler than that. He enjoyed what he did. There was always something, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant, that got his pen moving and his fingers strumming the right notes on his guitar. Everything he saw and felt, could be transformed into a beautiful song. But now, when it mattered most, he was left with nothing. His mind was a blank canvas.

Jaehwan had been sending out demos to every company that came to mind for the past two years. He had to work odd jobs to keep himself afloat while he waited for a call back from someone, and there were times when he had thought of giving up. The wait to get his breakthrough was excruciating, and if he didn’t love writing so much, if he hated his odd jobs, he probably would have called it quits. However, by chance, a demo that he sent out to a smaller company was heard. The company was a young one, only around for about five years, but they already had a handful of well-known artists under their roof. They requested that he compose and write a song for one of their solo artists. If the track that he sent back was to their liking, he would come in and work with the artist to record it, the song guaranteed for the album. If the song did well, they would sign him on to work on a pre-determined number of songs for their other artists. If all of this was well-received, they would extend an offer to him to become an in-house songwriter.

Jaehwan knew this was the opportunity of a lifetime for him. He had never gotten a call back from a company, ever. If he could make this work, he could be on his way. No more working odd end jobs. He could have a secure job doing the thing he loved. So, in no time, he took a look over the contract and asked a pre-law friend to also read over it. When he got the okay, he signed it, and immediately started to work on a new song.

However, this was where disaster struck for the young male. At first, Jaehwan thought he was just having an off day. He thought that maybe his excitement over the deal had just distracted him. It’s hard to write a somber song when you’re through the roof about having your dream job. So he took the day off. Yet, one day became three days, and he soon realized that he was essentially having writer’s block with his music. Jaehwan didn’t really know what to do about it, but with his deadline fast approaching, he knew he had to get something done, something that would ensure him the rest of the contract. If he didn’t, he’d lose his chance and be back to working odd jobs. So he decided to change up his scenery, in hopes that something outside of his apartment would inspire him.

This was how you met Jaehwan.

There was this little shop near Jaehwan’s place. The food there was amazing, but due to its location, it was pretty empty during the day. It wasn’t in a high traffic area, but business was still good enough to keep it afloat. Thus they were usually very busy in the mornings when patrons would come for their coffee and breakfast, and usually around lunch. Every other hour, after the usual rush, it would be quiet, and a great place to focus. This was the place that Jaehwan had decided to venture to when all of his inspiration seemed to leave him. He thought some yummy pastries and coffee could help with his block… and it seemed to be working… kind of. For the first time in a couple of days, he was finally able to scribble something down. Admittedly, they weren’t his best work, but they were ideas for him to pursue.

He was quite happy with them and just as he was about to scribble away at a particular idea, it happened. A torrent of coffee came at him and his notebook, drenching him and the thin pages in the process. Jaehwan was quick to jump to his feet, but as he looked down at his notebook, the pages stained and the ink running, he knew it was a goner. He always knew that this was a downside to working on paper, but he couldn’t help it. There was something about writing his ideas down by hand that just made it seem… real. It appealed to him, but in a moment like this, when all those little budding ideas were gone, ink smeared in with the rich dark caffeinated liquid, he really wished he had done things digitally.

Jaehwan’s shock was quickly replaced by anger as he looked around for the culprit. Given his current state of mind, he was ready to give this clumsy person a stern talking to. It didn’t take him long to spot the offender. You stood there with wide eyes, completely petrified at what you had done. Time seemed to stop as you held the now mostly empty jump in your hands, your eyes seemingly getting even bigger.

You were absolutely mortified at what you had done, and you were quick to break from your initial shock. Jaehwan watched as you apologized profusely. You offered to help him clean up, pay for his dry cleaning and anything else he needed. And though Jaehwan could tell that you meant well, he was still upset. Instead, he decided that he needed to get out of there before he did something he would regret. So all he said was, “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to pay me back.” He packed up his things, threw away the sad notebook, and told you to be more careful before leaving you, stunned, in that little shop.

This was the last that Jaehwan had expected to see of you. He didn’t return to the shop for almost two weeks, a bit paranoid that something similar would happen again. He tried going to other eateries to write, or even parks and libraries, but none of it worked. He decided to try that shop by his apartment again, and much to his surprise, you were there. At first, he had tried not to make eye contact, hoping that you had forgotten about that incident, but as soon as your eyes locked with his, you came over to him. You asked if he remembered you, and Jaehwan wanted to say he didn’t. To that day, he was still a bit upset about that accident and he wasn't exactly ready to forgive you. But still, against his better judgment, he told you that he did remember you.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you reached into your bag, pulling out a notebook that looked very similar to the one that had been ruined. Jaehwan eyed it, a bit confused, and this gave you the chance to explain. You told him about how horrible you had felt, and that you knew that your clumsiness was costly. You mentioned how the notebook he had looked important, so you had done your best to find a replacement for it. Embarrassed, you told him that you had come to this coffee shop every day at the same time in hopes that he would be back. “I know it doesn’t make up for everything that was lost, but I hope that you’ll still accept it." He remembered those words and the fact that you couldn't even look at him. Jaehwan could tell that you meant it with the best intentions, and even though he was still a bit upset, he accepted the gift.

And that was how it all started.

This was the start of your relationship with Jaehwan. No, the two of you didn’t instantly become a couple. Truth be told, Jaehwan still harbored some ill feelings towards you at first. But after you handed him the notebook and apologized for the eighteenth time, the two of you sat down to chat. You had decided, which Jaehwan thought was rather bold, to ask about what he did for a living. You had confessed that in the process of pulling his notebook from the trash to figure out the brand, you had admittedly taken a peek at it, and now you were curious.  

Though he was initially wary, he decided to tell you about himself. He told you about how he was a composer, how everything in that destroyed notebook was an idea for a song. The more the two of you talked, the more comfortable Jaehwan got with you, to the point where he felt a bit bad about how angry he had been the first time you met. Slowly, you started to see each other more, and on these chance meetings, he started to open up to you more, even telling you about the contract he had signed. In you, he found someone he could confide in.

You felt the same towards Jaehwan. The more he told you about himself, the more that you opened up to him as well. You told him about your ambitions to be a novelist. How you had been sending out manuscripts to different publishers in hopes that someone would pick up one of your books, much like how Jaehwan sent out demos. The two of you grew close over your love of telling stories and conveying emotions to your audience. You both enjoyed these meetings, and eventually, these get-togethers moved outside of the little shop. Sometimes you would meet up at your apartment, other times at his.

Soon, writing became easy for Jaehwan again.

It was simple to convey a sense of longing for someone when he was longing for you. It wasn’t something that Jaehwan had realized was happening at first. Yet the more time he spent with you, the more he realized that he wanted your relationship to be a bit more. He enjoyed the time when the two of you were together. He felt happy, and that happiness helped him to think positively about his work. However, he was unsure of where he stood with you. Your relationship with each other was as ambiguous as the ones that you wrote about in your novels.

Still, this weird state that the two of you were in did help him to finish and submit his song. Jaehwan was nervous for the days that followed, and you stayed by his side while he waited for the call. When he received it, the company said that they enjoyed the song that he wrote, and would like to continue his contract for five more songs. To make sure that the songs met the quality bar that the company was looking for, they even gave Jaehwan his own production studio in the building. On days when you were free, he would invite you there. One, because he enjoyed your company. Two, because he hoped that one of these times, he would finally be able to confess to you.

“Hey,” he started leaning back against you to get your attention. You were both sitting back to back on some pillows on the floor of his studio. You were typing away on your laptop, penning the next chapter of your newest novel, and Jaehwan was strumming away on his guitar, trying to come up with the melody for his next song.

“Yes?” you asked softly, his sudden weight on you getting your attention. You leaned against him, trying to get comfy again as you turned your head to catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of your eye.

“Do you enjoy this?” he asked, his question vague. Jaehwan was having a hard time with his words, and with his mind so concentrated on not screwing up, his fingers now just aimlessly strummed chords. Funnily enough, they were reminiscent of that song he finished because of you.

Your ears perked up at his question, their fingers ceasing to type as you turned to him. “You mean, hanging out like this? I like it a lot. I get so much done when we’re together.”

Jaehwan could feel your eyes on him now and his fingers were still strumming, trying to keep him focused on what was important.  “Yeah, but is that all you like?” he inquired, feeling you shift next to him. Soon, he realized that you had moved away, the lack of support on his back almost making him topple over. But as soon as he regained his balance, he found himself face to face with you, and a pink tint crept across his cheeks. Normally, when the two of you were this close to each other, he would have said something silly, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that today.

Though you were eager to let him continue, Jaehwan seemed to be having a hard time. It was like he couldn’t get the words out. And so, you decided to help him. “I like you,” you admitted, gently resting your forehead against his. You might have jumped the gun a bit, but you knew that if you didn’t say it now, you wouldn’t be able to say it again later.

Relief rushed over Jaehwan at your closeness and your confession. “I like you too,” he told you gently, giving you the softest kiss, hand gently moving into your hair to pull you closer…

A few years later, you found yourself at an award show as Jaehwan’s plus one. Since that night in his studio, your relationship had blossomed quickly. Your little hangouts became actual dates and within that first year together, you moved in with each other. Things had moved fast, there were fights, but they weren’t anything that the two of you didn’t eventually get through. Having each other so close made you both more productive, as strange as that may seem. You managed to get your first book deal the month after you moved in with Jaehwan. You always called him your lucky charm because, after that first book, you were signed on for more.

As much as he was your charm, you were his. His songs and how well they were doing on the charts didn’t go unnoticed by the company he was working for. He became that company’s in-house songwriter, while also getting the opportunity to work with other artists when they reached out. And with how much recognition his work was getting, it was no surprise when he was nominated for a songwriting award, and subsequently won. You couldn’t have been prouder as you clapped and cheered for him while he made his way onto the stage, your longtime boyfriend ready to give the speech that he worked so hard on.

Jaehwan cleared his throat and thanked the necessary people. The company that had taken him in, the lovely artists that had sung his song, as well as the rest of the production team. He thanked his parents for helping him get through school, as well as the teachers that helped him become the songwriter that he was today. Then, the gentlest smile formed on his lips. “There’s one more person I would like to thank tonight. She’s actually the reason why I can stand before you all today. A few years ago, I was struggling to write a song. It was the song that would essentially get me started on this road that I am now. I was having such a hard time that I decided to take myself out of my comfort zone and visit a nearby shop. She was there that day, and,” Jaehwan paused, stifling the smallest chuckle, “she spilled her coffee all over me. That was the moment I met her, and I would never have been able to finish that song if I didn’t meet her on that day. Thank you to my muse and the love of my life.”

Just as those proud words left his lips, Jaehwan caught a glimpse of you in the audience, face beet red that he had told such a story during his acceptance speech. He knew he was going to be reprimanded for it later, but it felt right to tell it. After all, he really wouldn’t be here without you. He wouldn’t be here if he had never met his muse…

[thelawsofdaylight]

Enjolras having anxiety or some other mental illness and maybe how his friends help him deal with it?

A/N: This came out both longer than expected and more fleshed-out than imagined. The aftermath of Enjolras having an anxiety-induced breakdown; Combeferre is just trying to ensure his friend isn’t overworking himself so it doesn’t happen again. 

Enjolras/Combeferre, 2K words, Hurt/Comfort. 

It’s Combeferre’s fifth consecutive hour in the library when the words on his screen start blurring together into unreadable fuzz. Contrary to popular belief, Combeferre’s attention span is not unlimited; his average stint in the library is three hours- any longer and he grows restless, his focus shifts.

Today he’d been lucky enough to grab a window seat- a rarity considering the hell that is the main library during exam season. For some reason being able to watch the cars and buses pass by on the street below is motivating; it spurs him on past the usual point when his eyes begin to drop and his attention wavers.

As the hour grows later, however, the sky turns dark. Combeferre’s last cup of coffee was seven hours ago, and he’s beginning to realise just how long it’s been since he’s eaten. He finishes the paragraph he’s reading and closes his laptop with a snap. Stretching in his seat, he takes one last look at the world outside the window before packing up his stuff.

His legs feel like he has forgotten how to walk on them as he makes his way down the three flights of stairs to the groundfloor. There are people scattered about, checking out books and hovering around coffee machines- amongst them Combeferre catches a glimpse of blond hair and frowns. He cranes his neck to double-check because Enjolras had said earlier that he wasn’t going to the library today, that he was too tired and too stressed and couldn’t wait to finally go home after meeting with his academic advisor. As the blond hair comes into view Combeferre gets confirmation that, yes, that’s definitely Enjolras. Waiting in line to get coffee, and looking more tired than Combeferre feels, practically asleep where he stands.  

There isn’t an atom in Combeferre’s body that doubts Enjolras was telling the truth earlier- it’s not like him to lie, and especially not to Combeferre- so his plans must have changed. Wondering what could prompt such a decision from a man who looks like he’s closer to passing out than realistically getting any work done, Combeferre makes his way over.

Enjolras doesn’t appear to notice him until Combeferre is in his peripheral vision, jumping at the hand Combeferre places on his shoulder. “Combeferre!” he exclaims in a tone closer to startled than surprised.

“Hey,” Combeferre greets, letting his hand fall to his side. “Didn’t expect to see you here. Everything okay?”

Enjolras begins to nod, but halfway through the movement he freezes and shakes his head instead. “My adviser wasn’t impressed by my essay being late. He refuses to accept it as part of my final grade, and said instead that my exam can constitute one hundred percent of my mark.”

Combeferre’s frown deepens. “He shouldn’t be able to do that.”

Enjolras just shrugs. “At first he was going to deduct the 50% the essay was worth from my final grade, but I think he realised that was excessively harsh, especially when I pointed out that I had clearance for the essay.”

“It doesn’t sound like he fully understands what clearance is, if he’s not taking it into account. Seriously, that’s fucked up.”

“I know.” Enjolras says, and he sounds tired, too tired, so Combeferre lets the topic drop. Just then they reach the front of the queue and Enjolras recites his order to the man behind the counter- “one mocha, please”- prompting a smile from Combeferre; it’s a little-known secret that Enjolras has a penchant for sweet things, chocolate in particular; it’s nice to see him indulge. The man hands Enjolras his drink as he asks for the money and Combeferre watches as Enjolras roots around in his bag before cursing. “I forgot my wallet,” he says, quiet.

Before anyone else can react, Combeferre is beside Enjolras. “I’ll get it,” he says, touching his card to the reader and waiting for the payment to transfer.

Both of them pretend not to notice how Enjolras’ hands shake as he takes the receipt, and when Combeferre leads him to a table in the foyer, he goes willingly.

“Sorry about that,” Enjolras says, tugging a hand through his hair as he takes a sip of his drink. “I’ll pay you back, of course.”

“No need.” Combeferre dismisses. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just stressed.”

Combeferre hums. He wants to trust Enjolras’ insistence that he’s fine, but he also remembers his friend three weeks ago; panic attacks so bad he’d thrown up, lecture after lecture missed, the essay submission that he hadn’t managed to get in on time, the tears and frustration that had been shed. There’d been double the meetings that week in an effort to finish all planning before the end of the semester, multiple essay deadlines, the official start of the revision period, and an increase in shifts at the shelter due to the cold weather. On top of an incredibly busy semester where Enjolras had shouldered double his usual responsibility, the last week had put too much weight on an already crumbling structure, and Combeferre had been there to witness it when his friend finally broke.

In the time since, Winter break has passed, and Enjolras has seemed to be doing better. Combeferre is just worried that this latest stress will bring it all back, and he’d rather anything than Enjolras have to go through that again.

His worry must show on his face in the silence that follows, for Enjolras covers Combeferre’s hand with his own. “I’m fine, Ferre. I promise. I was only going to stay here for a few hours, try to get some studying done.”

Combeferre turns his hand over so that his palm is pressed against Enjolras’. “It’s late, and you’ve been on campus since eight this morning. Is there any way the studying could wait until tomorrow?”

“I’d rather make a start now. This exam is too important to slack off on.”

“Taking care of yourself and giving yourself a decent night’s sleep is not slacking off. Do you think I’m slacking off because I’m on my way home?”

“Of course not.” Enjolras replies at once, looking equal parts torn and exasperated. It’s an argument they’ve had many times before; how Enjolras expects more from himself than he’d ever expect of anyone else, how his own standards are unrealistic and harmful. He sighs, leaning back in his seat. “I just... have it in my head that I need to make a start on this now. That if I can work on it now, I should, because doing otherwise is... unproductive.”

Combeferre resists the urge to take Enjolras by the shoulders and shout at him until he realises that he’s worth more than his productive output, but he knows that won’t be helpful. After last semester’s breakdown, Enjolras had started seeing a therapist from the student support offices- he hasn’t divulged much to Combeferre about the few sessions that have passed, but from what he has said, Combeferre knows this is an issue that they’re working on.

“You don’t owe anyone twenty-four-seven productivity. Your adviser shouldn’t even be able to dictate that your exam counts for one hundred percent of your grade when you have a late essay exemption from the mental health office.” Combeferre can feel his anger rising again, although he knows there’s no place for it in this conversation. He remembers convincing Enjolras to go to student support after he’d missed his deadline, accompanying him to the mental health office, helping him with the paperwork and forms needed to apply for extenuating circumstances- and all for his advisor to blatantly disregard it? Combeferre is furious.

“He says I was supposed to give the notice in before the essay submission deadline, which I didn’t. I only got it after the deadline, which means it’s invalid. I’m lucky he didn’t just take away fifty percent of my grade. At least this way I can gain it back.”

“But you did the essay!”

“I know.” Enjolras frowns. “It was a good one, too. I was proud of it.” He smiles wryly. “You know, I don’t think he even read it.”

“We should go to student support about this. They might be able to help.”

“Maybe.” Enjolras taps the fingers of his free hand erratically against the tabletop. “I should still do work, though. I have so much that I missed at the end of last semester, and I haven’t fully caught up during the break. I’m still missing half of the lecture notes from the ‘Modern Histories’ module, and that’s not even taking into account all the revision.”

“You can borrow mine,” Combeferre says unthinkingly. “And there’s still two weeks before exams; you’ve got time to revise.”

“But-”

“Enjolras, even if you did stay here tonight, what are the chances of doing work that you’ll actually be happy with? You look exhausted already. Take a night off, and I’ll help you contact student support tomorrow.”

Enjolras is quiet for a long moment. His hand is still within Combeferre’s and Combeferre squeezes his palm once, allowing himself a smile when Enjolras squeezes back. “You’re probably right,” he says eventually. “Thanks.”

Combeferre squeezes Enjolras’ hand once more before letting go. “My place is on the way to yours, I’ll walk with you.”

Enjolras nods, shrugging on his coat from where it’d been slung over the back of the chair. Combeferre waits as Enjolras throws the coffee cup in the bin and ties his scarf around his neck; it’s always been a source of amusement for Combeferre, how Enjolras is so affected by the cold weather. They link arms as they leave the library and engage in casual conversation about the new sustainability initiative put forward by the university for the year ahead. Enjolras listens to Combeferre more than he speaks, matching stride with him evenly, and staring at their feet as they walk.

It shocks Combeferre sometimes, how quiet Enjolras can be. As loud and charming he can be when surrounded by their friends and driven by passion, it’s easy to forget that he’s naturally very reserved in interaction with people.

As they walk, Combeferre likes to imagine he can feel some of the tension slowly drift away from Enjolras; his posture becomes more relaxed, and he leans more heavily into Combeferre’s side. When they reach Enjolras’ building he detaches his arm from Combeferre’s and steps apart from him. “You’re right,” he says. “I wouldn’t have gotten any work done if I’d stayed. Just frustrated myself, probably.”

Combeferre gives him a gracious smile. “I won’t say ‘I told you so’.”

Rolling his eyes, Enjolras laughs. “Thank you.” he says, suddenly earnestly sincere once more. “For everything, not just for walking home with me.”

“It’s alright. I know you’d do the same for me. For any of us.”

Enjolras nods. “I’m lucky to have friends like you.”

Combeferre too, feels extremely privileged to have a friend like Enjolras, and tells him as much. It may surprise anyone not close to him, but Enjolras is prone to bursts of affection for his friends, and he rarely holds back in his admiration for each and every one of them. Combeferre’s still not sure what he did to deserve such a friendship, but he’s certainly not going to complain any time soon.

“I’ll text you about getting in touch with student support tomorrow, okay? Hopefully, they’ll be able to talk some sense into your advisor. Until then, at least try and get some sleep? You deserve a break after a long day.”

Enjolras rolls his eyes. “You’re such a hypocrite, Ferre.” he says, but he’s smiling, and reaches down to hug Combeferre once the words have left his lips.

“Is that a yes?” Combeferre asks, his arms around Enjolras.

“That’s a yes.” Enjolras says, grinning as he breaks away from Combeferre. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Night, Enj.”

Enjolras waves back at Combeferre as he unlocks the door to his building. Combeferre returns the wave, waiting until Enjolras has gone inside to carry on his own way home.

[the-canary]

Pastel Colors - B.B (9/15)

Summary: If only the cute teacher would stop pestering you for a pen.(Library/Teacher AU! Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: you’re always asking me for a pencil because for some damn reason you don’t know that there is a whole store for stationary—happy birthday here’s a gift card to that store. wait, you work there? what the hell?

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @bithors writing challenge. another out of season chapter, enjoy!

Feedback is always appreciated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

If there is one ugly part of James Buchanan Barnes’ personality is that he cuts off anything that might hurt him and tries to best strategize how to move forward with the hurt on his own. After everything had failed with Dot, he knew he couldn’t go on with everything that he had built up in Florida, even if it had been his childhood dream, thus he cut all ties and ran back to New York. Now, he was doing the same with you, it wasn’t like you liked him that way, you were much happier with that whatever his name was. So, Bucky tried his hardest to move on by trying to ignore anything that he connected to you -- he stopped visiting, he cancelled those weekend meetings, he hardly went out. James holed himself in his apartment and worked, barely talked to anyone besides Steve.    

He prepared himself the whole week to see you again for the VR installation, only to be greeted with a somber Steve.

“Steve, why are you here? Where’s …” Bucky freezes, unsure of how to feel if you had decided to cut him off as well. It would make sense, but it didn’t stop the painful feelings from drilling themselves into his chest all of a sudden.

“Buck, didn’t you hear?” the blond man questions, as he hands Bucky all the files you have been working on, “She collapsed on the last week of school, been out of it since. Wanda’s been giving all of updates.”

“What? Why?” Bucky’s voice gets a little higher, as he pushes his hand through his hair in sudden frustration and disbelief.

“I don’t know, Buck.” is the only way Steve can answer, as the physics teacher gets up ready to leave and rush to your side, though he doesn’t know where you are at the moment, “Hey, where are you going?”

“I have to see her. I’ve been such a fucking idiot,” Bucky declares in annoyance with himself, as Steve just shakes his head, having dealt with this side of his best friend more than once in their shared lifetime.

“Don’t you think she would want you to watch them install this first?  You guys have been working so hard towards this for months,” Steve calmly explains, as Bucky begins to cool down a bit, though he’s still pacing back and forth.  

“I..Yeah,” he grumbles, remembering how much time and effort you had put into this -- into one upping him and always having some new type of research that blew him away. You were dedicated in your research and wanting to move this project forward, Bucky would be doing you disservice if he walked away from it all -- you deserved that much.  

“Watch this happen and then tell her all about it,” Steve gouges him on the idea and Bucky nods. The two friends later on watch as the cable and proper equipment are installed all around the library, it certainly updates the look and feel but the books and everything is left untouched due to the majority of said devices being portable. There were still extra computers to be added here and there, but James knew that you would be proud and excited of everything was being setup.

The whole installation process takes about three and half hours and Bucky makes sure to take pictures, so that he can show you when he can. He asks questions and makes sure to know what the next steps are going to be, so that he could tell you in person. After all the movers left, Steve was going to ask Bucky if he wanted to grab a late lunch, but the dark-haired man only asks for your address and is out the door before Steve can asks his intended question. Steve grins,though he knows he owes Sam a beer now.  

“And the Oscar goes to…” Steve whistles as he leaves the school grounds and heads back home.  

Now, Steve wasn’t completely lying when he said that you were ill, though it was just some stressed induced exhaustion and catching Michelle’s cold at the wrong time that had you fainting on the last day of school before winter break. Wanda had freaked out and so had Pietro, but some good medicine and sleep brought you back up quickly with just a minor cough. The danger had past but you were now alone since Carol had deadlines to met, Vision and Wanda had made of love nest in his apartment for the holidays, and Pietro was spending it with some friends from his graduate course. It was lonely, but you were used to that and you used the time to prepare for your upcoming course, though that didn’t stop you from thinking about James every once and awhile -- you hadn’t seen him in a long while.

“Steve, is James all right?” you ask during one of your quick lunches with the man that had become part of your life since getting to know him better after the bar incident, but it didn’t replace the ones you used to have with James and the Library Club, “I haven’t seen him in awhile.”

“He’s writing some papers for a science journal,” he explains with an exasperated smile, “He’ll come around after the holidays. Don’t worry, he’s just like that.”

You could only hope that he was doing all right, especially since you didn’t know how he spent his holidays? Was he going to spend with the woman he was supposedly in love with? Were they together already? Without much to do, your head often ran around with these thoughts. However, this time around it is broken due to the loud banging at the door as you turn to look at it from your place in the living room, piles of papers and books around you in regards to curriculum with a romcom playing as background noise. You grab your shawl as the banging continues. You open the door to see James holding two large bags with a very concerned look on his face.

“Bucky, what are you doing here?” you let out a small cough, as he frowns while making his way into the small apartment. You shake your head as he looks around, his scold deepens at the sight of you being all alone and even working in your current state. He puts the bags down and turn to look at you.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” He asks in exasperation, as you raise an eyebrow, pulling your shawl closer to your body.

“What boyfriend?” you ask, as a dumbfounded but cute (did you really just think that?) look lights up his face.  

“That Pie guy,” he further explains, and you have to wonder how he knew about Pietro since you hadn’t seen him the night all of Steve’s friends and yours meet.

“Pietro isn’t my boyfriend. He’s my Steve,” you laugh at your own description, before stopping since it still hurts your throat,  as he gives you a flabbergasted look.

“W-What?” is all he can say.

“He’s been with me since high school. We’re like the three musketeers at this point,” you shrug, mildly annoyed that you have to explain this to James, couldn't Steve had just done this. However, your thought process seems to stop once he lets out a relieved chuckle and pushes a hand through his hair, you’re still confused.

“Oh, thank god,” he whispers to himself before getting to work. You watch him setup all the chicken and vegetables in the small kitchen countertop. He asks where your pots and pans are before turning on the stove and setting to work. You sit across from him and watch him move around the kitchen, like he owns the place and while it is a bothersome thought, it still makes you smile.

“James, not to be mean or anything. But why are you here exactly?” you question as he chops up the carrots and rinses them before placing them in the boiling pot. He leans on the counter, his upper body closer to you and blue eyes completely glued to yours.

“Just making up for lost time,” he explains cryptically and with a soft smile. He leans in a bit more and you’re stuck there, frozen and watching his next move more but before anything happens, the time starts beeping that the chicken is ready.

After a meal of homemade chicken soup and some cold medicine, James makes you sit down on the couch while pushing away all the material you had cluttered (promising that he would help work on it with you later) on the table to make way for some healthy snacks, medicine, ( he’s such a dad , you thought to yourself) and an array of movies, but halfway through watching Home Alone , a question pops into your head.

“Bucky, how do you normally spend Christmas time?” you turn to look up at him from his side of the couch, only to notice that you had gotten closer as the hours moved forward. He had even gotten underneath your blanket at some point.

“It’s a little disjointed this year, but we all usually meet at my parents’ house,” he explains as you listening intently, “Big tree, even bigger dinner ‘cause of my sisters and their loved ones and kids. We used to carol and wait until morning to open presents.”

“That sounds lovely,” you sigh out as James laughs, thinking about what he missed since he was working through the holidays and due to all of his family being in Florida for the time, a place that he didn’t want to be in at the moment, maybe not for a long while.

“What about you?” he asks trying to move away from the heavy feeling in his heart and Bucky swears that his heart stops at moment you smile softly, reminiscing of your own past.

“I’ve spent it more with the twins recently,” you explains as James wants to groan for a moment at his stupidity, but your voice stops him, “But when I was younger, my ma would always take me to the library Christmas read-along than we go walk around the neighborhood to see all the lights. I always got some type of stationery for Christmas,” you laugh awkwardly towards the end since James can’t seem to stop looking at you.  

“Oh that reminds me!” you shot up from the couch and run towards the back of the apartment. James gets up slightly from his position on the couch, as he hears you rummaging through something. You quickly run back in with a small package and jump on the couch to hand it to the confused man.

“Merry Christmas!” you smile brightly as he tries his hardest not to blush at the sight of you : bedhead, flushed and smiling, with a present just for him. God, Steve was right, he had it bad.

“Thanks, doll,” he smiles as he takes the package and quickly opens it only to see a package of 100 cheap ballpoint pens, and in the moment he realizes that you know what he has been doing. You laugh loudly as he shakes his head, embarrassed at being found out but relieved that even if you disliked it you hadn’t pushed him away like he initial thought it  would.

“Ya got me,” he chuckles as you keep laughing before the coughing fit gets a hold of you. James soothes your back and after a few moments, you find yourself leaning more into his warmth than moving back to your side of the couch. The paused movie now entirely forgotten as you can’t stop staring at him. 

“James, thank you for everything,” you mumble sleepy, the drugs and food starting to kick in, as you rub his stubble softly with your right hand, “You’re a good friend.”

“Only the best for you,” James whispers as he places his hand over yours. He feels a little confident for a moment and decides to pull you in closer underneath the blanket once more. Your head is placed directly underneath his chin as his humming and warmth dips you further into the land of sleep. Too deep that you don’t feel the light kiss on your forehead and the anguish in his voice.

“God, I love you so much.”

Part 10

[iceamericanoventi]

Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face. 

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

 “Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” 

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.  

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

[greengargouille]

A friend on Skype asked me how do I start my writing process. I thought I would do them an handy summary of how writing happens for me.

I - Finding Ideas

1) One do not find ideas. Ideas find you. Preferably while you’re very busy doing chores or homework or preparing for exams or work.

2) So, you’ve been found by an idea. Cry a lot in hopes it will leave so you can work on your priorities.

3) The idea didn’t leave. In fact, the idea seems rather interested in your tears. Renounce and write your idea to take it home.

II - Developing your idea.

1)  If you want to write, chances are that you already have multiples ideas. Please free your new idea among the others in a safe, restricted space.

2) Ideas that doesn’t like each others will try to ignore the other as long as nobody force them to be together. It’s fine. Sometimes, two ideas will get along very well, and you may develop sub-plots or an interesting world building. Most of the time, one idea will end up eating another or multiples one while you aren’t looking. This is fine ; a strong, well detailed idea is usually better than multiple weak ideas. 

(Note : Be wary that your new idea doesn’t disturb the sleepy ideas in hibernation, or you might end up with quite a load of work to ignore them !!)

3) You might decide not to work on an idea immediately. You might then be in need or a temporary idea-sitter. Talk to one of your friends (for fanfictions, preferably a friend of the corresponding fandom). Talk to them about your idea. Make them go ‘holy heck this is a great idea !!’. Your idea will them follow them, leaving you mostly alone.

4) Ideas will often find what to eat by themselves, no need to worry about that. However, be sure to leave a nice bowl of references to complete their diet !

III - Transforming your idea into a story.

1) Choose an idea you want to work with. Stare at it very deeply. Cry because it’s so cute/fluffy/sad/painful.

2) Open your favourite text editor, determined to shape that idea into a beautiful story.

3) You’re stuck on the first sentence. Cry a lot. Go work on another idea.

4) Get stuck on how to start shaping the other idea. Cry again. Look at your blank pages. Motivate yourself to write. End up doing a pause and juggling between tabs on unimportant and distracting stuff that you can quit after 5 minutes WT*

(*Writer’s Time. Equal to 3 real life hours.)

5) Come back to your first idea. Decide of a sentence.

6) It’s too weak. Cry. Erase it.

7) Decide instead to work on another moment of the idea. It might need you a few minutes to find the proper words, but once you started, the rest come pretty easily !!

8) Or not. You’re stuck on a sentence again. Cry a lot.

9) Drink water to rehydrate yourself of all that crying.

10) Decide to come back to your story tomorrow WT (approximatively two weeks*).

(*’What about deadlines ?” Buddy. This is my own way to do. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to work with deadlines.) 11) Look at your story. Get pumped up for writing. Edit what you’ve already made. You ends up rewriting half the text and see your word count diminish. Cry again. 

12) Write and edit, cry, write and cry, edit. Over and over. Don’t forget that your story might still need references even while growing.

13) You’ve finally finished !! And then you remembered you only wrote starting from the middle and you still need the first part. Cry a lot.

14) ...Actually, no, I don’t know how to continue. Luck, maybe. Try that.

IV - Presenting your story to everyone

1) You’ve finished your story ! Time to give it a name. Or multiple names if it’s multi-chaptered. Awn, don’t cry, it’s almost over. A good tip is to chose a theme or object with strong importance to the story.

2) If you’re presenting your story on the Internet, you might need to tag it. Theme and Audiences are always appreciated as well as warnings in case your story is of the bitting type. For fanfics, put the name of the fandoms and the main characters and ships, but beware - if a character only have a few, irrelevant sentences, it’s just better to not tag it.

3) Your idea is so beautiful. Look at it. Cry a little.

4) Nobody is looking at your idea. Cry a lot. You wasted a perfectly good idea. Or maybe the idea wasn’t that great.

5) Wait, are those... Views ? Hits ? People are really reading it ?! Maybe the original idea is, in fact, good ?

6) If you’re writing original fiction, or you’re writing for a rare pair, a background character or a dead fandom, your idea might not get lot of interest. It’s ok. It’s fine. You had fun, didn’t you ?

7) Screw this. Cry because nobody is leaving your reviews or comments.

8) Your story is free now, it will go live its’ life. Unless it’s an on-going multi-chaptered stories, but as I said, buddy, this is my way of doing things and can’t say I’ve done much in multichapters. Anyways, you might see your story sometimes, just in passing as someone try to approach it because it looks fun. Maybe you will see other stories that look like it, probably inspired by it. Unless it really is your idea, an ill, poor clone. Don’t forget to contact your neighbourhood if that’s the case. 

9) It might happens that one of your artist friends come to you with an idea looking surprisingly familiar. They say your story gave birth in their garden. Look fondly at the newborn idea as it licks the tears of his crying owner who don’t know what to do with it. It’s up to you whether you want to help him or not. Don’t forget to offer tissues.

[socialattractionuk]

People are being forced into long-distance relationships by coronavirus isolation

Video call is a way to stay in touch (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Almost a month ago, I waved my boyfriend Stephen off with no idea when I would see him again.

We’ve been together over two years and at that point, the longest we’d gone without seeing eachother was 10 days.

Now we’ve been forced into a long-distance relationship by coronavirus.

I have underlying health conditions and as a key worker, Stephen is still going into work, and although he is following all the social distancing precautions, it feels like too much of a risk.

With the situation in London worsening, I decided to leave over three weeks ago to stay with my parents in Northern Ireland so even seeing him through a window isn’t possible now.

Laura and Stephen long before the lockdown (Picture: Laura Abernethy)

Being plunged into this has been hard. We obviously can still talk every day and video call but it’s not quite the same.

But many other couples are in exactly the same boat. Although some decided to move in together so they could isolate, for others that wasn’t an option.

When lockdown came into force, official advice was basically for couples to commit to isolation together or deal with being apart.

Samantha Smith, 27, and Michael Laud, 28, have been together for seven years. They don’t live together and decided not to isolate together to protect eachother and their families.

They’re both still in Swadlincote, Derbyshire, just a few miles from eachother but they don’t know when they’ll be able to be together again.

Samantha tells Metro.co.uk: ‘His dad has underlying health conditions and needs to be there if anything goes wrong.

‘We’re both severe asthmatics and I had been suffering from a bad chest infection for the last four weeks (I came off steroids last Wednesday) so I was already suffering quite badly and didn’t want to risk making him ill and then passing it onto his dad. ‘

They’ve been using video call apps like Houseparty to stay in touch and sending eachother voicenotes to keep a connection.

She adds: ‘We’re using voicenotes a lot and making sure we have one a day to wake up to. It’s quite nice really. He doesn’t use social media so he has no idea what’s going on on there.

Samantha and Michael (Picture: Samantha Smith)

‘The phone calls are tough. There’s not much to talk about because we’re both on furlough so it’s the same thing everyday and there’s not much happening.

‘However, I do feel it is strangely making us closer because we’re conscious of the fact we can’t see one another. We’re both putting the same amount of communication in so it’s not one-sided, which is nice.’

It’s also given them time to reminisce about their relationship when they first started dating.

Samantha adds: ‘The other day we were flicking through old messages from when we first got together and were talking about our first date and how we plan to redo that when this is all over.

‘I think it’s a good way of getting to know one another again because you’re facing the same difficulty.’

Katherine Hackett, 27, lives on the Wirral, while her boyfriend Elliot, 24, lives in Warrington but as he works as a chemical engineer he is classed as a key worker and is going out every day.

Katherine and Elliot (Picture: Katherine Hackett)

Katherine admits that the uncertainty of the situation has been testing for their relationship.

She says: ‘We’ve been FaceTiming and calling most days which is nice. To be honest, we weren’t callers much before this! We just used to text but being separated has made us ensure we make time for each other over the phone every day.

‘It is affecting my mood towards him. I feel like it’s very testing on our relationship, it’s nothing he’s done, I’ve just been very frustrated with the whole situation and seem to keep taking it out on him.

‘It’s the fact that nothing can be done about it and not having a definite date to count down to when we’re going to see each other again.

‘He’s a lot more logical about things and tries to reassure me but I on the other hand am just so moody! Luckily he’s the most patient and understanding person ever.’

Bekki, 25, and her boyfriend Max, 27, have been together for two years but they haven’t seen each other for over two-and-a-half weeks, depsite being just 45 minutes away from eachother.

They are both currently living with their parents in Newcastle Upon Tyne but say that the money they are saving while in isolation is going towards moving in together when this is over.

Bekki and Max in Vietnam (Picture: @mynameisbekki)

Bekki explains: ‘For us, it was mostly about the safety of our families.

‘My mum works in a hospital and has been working at least five days a week, therefore, increasing her chances of contracting coronavirus.

‘As my boyfriends’ parents are in their sixties, I just wouldn’t feel comfortable temporarily moving in with them in case it put them (or my boyfriend) at risk. So, although it was a hard decision for us both to make, we know it’s the right decision for our loved ones.

‘At first, keeping in touch was quite a hard one as we’ve never been big texters. This is my fault – I work full-time in PR and then work for a magazine on the side so I spent ALL day on a computer and, therefore, don’t like to spend much time on my phone.

‘When I was first dating my now-boyfriend, he thought I wasn’t interested as I only sent him one text a day, which is actually a lot for me, but in reality, I was actually a proper keeno beano who just hates being on her phone.

‘About five days into self-isolating, we realised that the usual text here and there wasn’t good enough and that, instead, we needed more.’

They’ve been watching their favourite TV shows at the same time, playing virtual games of Cards Against Humanity, having video calls and tagging each other in memes. They’ve also chosen presents for each other to be delivered to their respective houses.

Bekki adds: ‘Whilst I can’t wait to see him in real life, I’m actually weirdly grateful for this time as we’re making more time for each other when apart (like through the working week), than we normally would.

‘One of the (few) benefits of the current situation is that we’re both spending less and are, therefore, able to save a bit money throughout the money – to the point where we now have enough to move out together.

‘We’ve been looking at houses and rang an estate agent about a house we’d like to view once this all blows over – so whilst it’s been a test, we’ve certainly passed.’

Rachel Hains and Kathryn Burdon, both 21, are used to a long distance relationship as they are both studying at different universities.

Rachel and Kathryn (Picture: Rachel Hains)

With their insitutions closing due to the pandemic, they’ve both headed home to their families – Rachel in Devon and Kathryn in Berkshire.

In normal circumstances, they would be on holidays and spending as much time as possible together but now, after months of being apart, they don’t know when they will see eachother again.

Rachel explains: ‘Although it is incredibly difficult for us to spend so much time apart, this is ultimately the best arrangement for the both of us. For instance, Katie has asthma so is high risk. It’s important she and her family keep safe.’

Used to being apart, they’re still keeping in touch by video calls but are also making use of some new things that have appeared since everyone went into lockdown.

Rachel adds: ‘Regular Facetimes, constant messages and sending each other silly things we see on the internet have been crucial.

‘It’s little and often that we’ve found to be the most effective way to stay in touch during times of separation.

‘Netflix party, which is an extension on Chrome, is a god send. We’ve been able to watch things together on Netflix and comment along as if we were in the room together. RuPaul’s Drag Race is one of our favourites at the moment as it is released weekly, meaning we have a scheduled activity each week.

‘Katie has also sent me links to her University dance society, who are running online classes at the minute. I’ll never be as good at tap as she is, but it’s something we can share together as I drive anyone downstairs insane with the elephant banging around in my room.

‘We’re both also trying to complete our final year of university at the moment, meaning we have deadlines galore. It’s a stressful time anyway, so supporting each other and being there is more important than ever. Even if it’s just distracting one another or offering advice about one of our essays, it still feels like we’re close by, spurring the other on towards the ever approaching finish line.’

The pair have been friends for almost 10 years and are used to the long-distance aspect of their relationship but Rachel admits that the lockdown has been difficult for them.

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She says: ‘This is particularly hard at the moment, during what would have been our Easter break.

‘We had several dates planned, including tickets to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child which have had to be postponed. This is all incredibly disappointing, as much as we understand the necessity of it.

‘It’s hard when all we want to do is spend time together, something made even harder by my parents’ recent decision to move to Devon now that my sister and I are both away at university.

‘This means travel is integral to our relationship, something that is also impossible at the moment due to the pandemic.

‘However, I think this whole experience is making us value each other even more. We’re trying to make the most out of this situation and considering the terrible impact this disease is having on society, we’ve become aware how easily one of us could be affected.

‘I’m constantly worried for Katie, as she is high risk. All I can do, however, is be there for her and cherish her as much as I can.

‘I just have to keep optimistic and think about how much stronger we’ll be when this is all over and how much fun we’ll be able to have together.’

MORE: What to do if you have a fight with your partner in self-isolation

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Who needs to go to work, who needs to stay at home and who is classed as a key worker?

[elizabethcariasa]

July 15 tax filing and payment deadline Q&A

We're in what during normal times would be the annual tax season's big push to the end (or an extension). But these are not normal times. Instead, it feels more and more like we're living in a tax version of Bill Murray's classic "Groundhog Day."

That's because for the second time in three days the Treasury Department and Internal Revenue Service have moved the deadlines for filing and paying taxes.

Friday, March 20, morning Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin decided that an earlier decision that split the usual April 15 deadline for tax filing and paying should be changed. So he announced, via Tweet, that those two tax tasks would be reunited, pushing the due date for paying and now filing returns to July 15.

Later that day, the IRS tried to clear things up (again) by issuing guidance in Notice 2020-18 about 2020's new July 15 Tax Day. Naturally, that makes July 15 this week's By the Numbers honoree.

And since my tax deadlines questions and answers post the first time the IRS did this (way back on March 18) was so popular, here's a new Q&A for the latest and we hope last Tax Day changes.

When do I have to send my Form 1040 to the IRS? Wednesday, July 15 is the new deadline to e-file (by midnight your time) or snail mail (so that the envelope has a 7/15 postmark) your 2019 tax year return. Treasury and the IRS shifted it from April 15 to July 15 to align it with their earlier move of the just-tax-payment deadline. As many (many, many, many) folks noted, this division had the potential to be more confusing that the actual filing itself, so kudos to Treasury and the IRS for granting us 90 extras days to finish our tax forms and pay what we owe.

When do I have to pay any tax I owe? Again, this due date remains July 15. That gives you three more months to come up with the money or make payment arrangements with the IRS.

Does the July 15 deadline apply to all taxpayers? Yes. The IRS reiterated in its latest notice that the July 15 tax filing and payment deferment applies to all taxpayers. This includes individuals, trusts and estates, corporations and other non-corporate tax filers, as well as entrepreneurs who pay self-employment tax.

Does it matter how big my tax bill is? This is a change from the earlier iteration of the new 90-days-later Tax Day. In the first shifting of tax deadlines, the option to pay taxes as late as July 15 applied only to certain individual taxpayers and businesses that met caps on the amount of tax owed. Those tax bill limits are gone. All taxpayers now can postpone paying their due federal income tax until July 15, regardless of the amount owed.

Will the IRS slap me with extra charges for using this July 15 deadline? No. Taxpayers can make their 2019 federal income tax payments as late as July 15 and not face penalties or interest. Note, however, that if you don't pay any tax due by the July deadline, penalties, interest or any other additional fees for failure to file or pay will start adding up on July 16.

What if I still can't make the new, later July 15 deadline? The later Tax Day date is automatic, so there's no need to mess with filing an extension request by April 15. If, however, mid-summer arrives and you still can't complete your 1040, not to worry. The existing Oct. 15 extended filing deadline is still around.

In an news release issued today, March 21, the IRS notes that individual taxpayers who need additional time to file beyond the July 15 deadline can request a filing extension by submitting Form 4868 and automatically get even more time to file. Businesses that need additional time beyond July 15 can by that date send the IRS Form 7007.

You can file Form 4868 electronically or download the paper form and snail mail it. That form, however, might need to be tweaked, too, since it usually is connected to paying any tax you owe. There's also some thought that since this usually is six-month filing extension, the final deadline might be pushed from Oct. 15 to Jan. 15, 2021. (It's always something with taxes.)

Remember, though, that the extra time afford by filing Forms 4868 or 7007 is for finishing up your tax forms only. You still have to pay any tax due by the deadline, which this year is July 15.

What about other tax deadlines? The annual April tax deadline normally applies to more than just your prior year's tax return and any amounts owed. It's also the due date for some other taxes and tax-related moves. This includes the first estimated tax payment for 2020 that's due on April 15, as well as the ability to put money into tax-favored health savings accounts and IRAs.

Those other tax filings are not covered by the new July 15 deadlines. According to Notice 2020-18 (I added the bold type):

"The relief provided in this section III is available solely with respect to Federal income tax payments (including payments of tax on self-employment income) and Federal income tax returns due on April 15, 2020, in respect of an Affected Taxpayer’s 2019 taxable year, and Federal estimated income tax payments (including payments of tax on self-employment income) due on April 15, 2020, for an Affected Taxpayer’s 2020 taxable year."

This is the same stance as the IRS took in the first separate filing/payment deadline change. It's a curious position since two estimated tax deadlines fall within this April-to-July time period, but only one, the 1040-ES due on April 15, is given the added July 15 grace period.

Again, why IRS? Why are you making us pay the second quarter estimated tax due on June 15 BEFORE we have to pay our first estimated tax for 2020 by July 15? What's another month wait at this point? You need to take a look at the proposal in the Senate's coronavirus relief bill.

The Upper Chamber's Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act, or as it's being called the CARES bill, makes changes to various tax filing and payment due dates (discussed in a Twitter exchange about the bill).

As for estimated tax deadlines, the CARES Act would delay the April, June and September estimated tax payment deadlines (shown in red in the table below) for the 2020 tax year until Oct. 15.

Estimated Tax Payment Periods and Due Dates

 Payment #

 Due Date*

 For income received in

 1

 April 15

 Jan. 1 through March 31

 2

 June 15

 April 1 through May 31

 3

 Sept. 15

 June 1 through Aug. 31

 4

 Jan. 15 of the next year

 Sept. 1 through Dec. 31

*If the 15th is on weekend or federal holiday, the estimated payment is due the next business day

  CARES says "all such [estimated tax] installments shall be treated as one installment due on such date."

As for the contributions to IRAs and HSAs that can be made for the prior tax year as late as April 15, it appears that the April deadline is still in force. Notice 2020-18 expressly states:

"No extension is provided in this notice for the payment or deposit of any other type of Federal tax, or for the filing of any Federal information return."

However, some tax pros think this latest extension notice implies that these deadlines also will be extended. Some cite Tax Code Section 301.7508A-1 - Postponement of certain tax-related deadlines by reasons of a federally declared disaster or terroristic or military action.

Personally, I'd like the IRS to give us some more explicit clarification here. C'mon man, don't make us argue among ourselves and have to second guess what y'all at 1111 Constitution Avenue, N.W. are thinking!

Will the same payment delay apply to my state taxes? Most of the 43 states and District of Columbia where some sort of income tax is collected tend to follow the IRS when it comes to things like filing deadlines. When that's been changed in the past, these state tax departments tended to follow.

But payments are different. Many states were facing budget difficulties before they, too, saw their economies whacked by the coronavirus outbreak. So they might not be as willing or able to forgo revenue collection even for a relatively brief period.

Gail Cole has a state tax action segment in her new coronavirus tax relief roundup at the Avalara blog. Tripp Baltz and Michael J. Bologna, staff correspondents with BloombergTax, also note that Some States Auto-Match IRS Tax Delay; Others in Flux. And the AICPA has a handy table of State Tax Filing Guidance for Coronavirus Pandemic.

My best advice here is for you to be pro-active. Pay attention to your local news, which should alert you to local and state tax changes, and periodically check in with your state tax officials. You can find links to them in the ol' blog's state tax directory.

What does all this messing with tax calendars really mean? For taxpayers, it's generally a good thing. As we deal with the COVID-19 disruptions in our personal lives, we at least don't have the added stress of an impending tax deadline. And the extra time gives those who owe more time to come up with the cash due Uncle Sam.

Tax professionals also are breathing sighs of relief — from their appropriately social/physical distances of at least 6 feet, of course. They don't have to deal with a lot of frantic clients all pressuring them seemingly simultaneously to get their returns done. They should be able to space out the workflow a bit to take some pressure off themselves and their staff.

It should help the IRS, too. The delay could help the agency cope with the added stressor that the pandemic has created for the agency, which in addition to dealing with taxpayers has to think about its thousands of worried and possible ill employees across the country. Now they get more time and don't have to worry about keeping track of two separate Tax Day deadlines.

Logistically, the IRS would like all of us who can file before July to do so. That would help the agency spread the work out more, rather than having a big crush of returns in mid-summer.

"Even with the filing deadline extended, we urge taxpayers who are owed refunds to file as soon as possible and file electronically," said IRS Commissioner Chuck Rettig. "Although we are curtailing some operations during this period, the IRS is continuing with mission-critical operations to support the nation, and that includes accepting tax returns and sending refunds."

Rettig also reassures us that refunds are going out as soon as they are processed. And he's asking that we cut his agency and employees some slack in what he notes is a challenging and "very rapidly changing environment."

"As a federal agency vital to the overall operations of our country, we ask for your personal support, your understanding – and your patience," said Rettig. He also encouraged folks to check out the agency's special coronavirus page at IRS.gov where it posts updates on tax matters affected by the pandemic.

I'm inclined to give the IRS some leeway here. It's crazy and scary for us all. I appreciate everyone who's doing the best jobs they can under the circumstances.

Finally, take care of yourselves and families first, especially now that you have some added time to take care of your taxes.

You also might find these items of interest:

Businesses get tax relief in House-passed coronavirus bill

Stop smoking to reduce health risks & possibly your taxes

Obamacare tax forms in the time of coronavirus

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[sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog]

Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?

"Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?

I need something that covers dental, vision and as much Health as possible. (Routine check ups, lab work, specialist, etc) Something with an affordable deductible and Affordable Copay..I'm not very familiar in this area but I'm 99% sure that I have progressed type 2 Diabetes as well as other various health problems and desperately need to visit the doctor. Thank you.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I am 27yrs have, single, have no children and need medical insurance. I live in California so I have to have it by the new laws. I have no clue who I should sign up for. I don't care too much about benefits too much right now (deadline is coming up). I just want the lowest priced one I can get right now so I can say I have something. I looked at the Medi-cal website and it said you have to be 65yrs or older or have children so it does not seem like I am eligible even though I am low income. Any clue on what I should get? Thanks.""

Car insurance in America for non citizens on holiday?

I have a few questions about car insurance in America for non citizens. I am going to the USA this summer and will be driving alot.I have car insurance on my own car and have a full license and an international driving permit.Do i have to get insurance on the car in america or will my own insurance in ireland cover it or will i have to start another policy with an american company?Will this cost alot?My insurance here is not expensive and ive never been in an accident or made any claims.Is it possible to be put on my friends insurance as a driver and if so how much would this be cheaper then buying my own insurance?Any information would be great, i am very confused on the matter.""

Will the insurance payment be higher if?

Will the car insurance be higher if theres two drivers instead of 1?

What is the difference of term and whole life insurance?

I know this has been asked before, but what I want to know was never answered. 1. If you buy term and pay for 20 years and live longer, does your beneficiaries receive all the money? If they do, how does the company make money on term? 2. I have had whole for over 30 years and what I am paying is more than term ins. a month, but when I die, my beneficiaries will recieve much more than I could ever save. ( I pay over $150. a month for over $200,000. I know I will pay in about $50,000. My mutual funds aren't increasing so I think whole will do better for my kids. Did I do the right thing? 3. If I switch over to term will I lose what I signed up for? Thanks""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I am about to buy a 125cc motorbike in the UK. m in my late 20's and have a secure job. What is a good insurance company to deal with and what sort of quote should i be expecting? I have the usual security for my bike, smartwater, thatcham approved chain and disc brake lock. The best quote I got online on a CBR125 was 450. Is that about right or is thre anyone out there paying a lot less, for fire, theft and 3rd party insurance""

Car Insurance Question?

I am currently a provisional driver, and to insure my car it would cost me 999. Once I past my test it will cost me about 4,000 to insure the same car. If I insure my car as a provisional driver now, will it be the same price when I pass my test, or will it be a lot more expensive like it is now? I really don't want to be paying 4,000 to insure a car :S""

Pregnancy health insurance plans

I recently had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and I am waiting to start my first cycle following the pregnancy. With that pregnancy I was using medicaid but I saw how hard it was to get an appointment since there were so many people. This time around my husband and I would like to start trying in about a month and we would like to get insurance. I am looking for insurance that covers pregnancy with a pretty low deductible. I would like it if the monthly payments were 200 or lower. Does anyone have insurance that they recomend?

""What are the best cars that are cheap to insure, low on tax (highest band D), and quite fast?

This is for my first car 17 year old. Thanks

""I have the title to and own my car, does ohio still require that i carry state minimum insurance?

i heard on a radio show that if you had the title to your car you don't need to have collision or comprehensive insurance

Car insurance!! help?

I'm 17 years old and live in the UK. I want to buy a chevrolet camaro 2010 v6 when I am 19 but I'm worried how much insurance I have to pay. My friend told me it's going to be more than the car, and the car cost around 30,000. Can anyone tell me which group the car belongs to and how much insurance I would need to pay? I want this to be my first car but I want another car to gain experience. Please give me a good car that would look nice for a 18 year old. I am quite tall and I don't really like small cars because it feels uncomfortable for me? please suggest a good car that would suit a tall guy. thank you""

NY parked car accident insurance laws.?

Some guy hit my car while it was parked in the road. He knocked on the door and gave me his insurance policy and other information. I live in Rochester, NY and my insurance provider is AIG. If i file a claim, who's insurance pays for the damages (new fender and door)? Will there be a deductible on my part? Will my premiums go up? Doesn't NY have some stupid no-fault law? Or should i just make him pay for everything out of pocket?""

I just found out i'm pregnant & i currently have no insurance?

i'd just like to know what options i have , im from california. I havent gone in for any pre-natal checkup yet but would like to soon. im about a month or so along.""

Motorcycle Registration Cost?

So I bought a 2004 GS500F yesterday with a Stage 1 Dyno Jet kit. Ive got my insurance and everything figured out, I'm just wondering how much it will be to register it? I live in Valdosta, Ga""

Can I get health insurance for only my baby?

I just need a little guidance right now so I know what to do when my child is born. I'm due at the end of next June. I want to get health insurance for my baby because I'm not trying to pay an arm and a leg every time I take her to the doctor. However, I only need the insurance for the baby. I'm covered until I'm 25, even after I give birth, under my mother's insurance. (I'm 22 now.) Her insurance is through her job, she works for the State of Colorado. I already checked into adding the baby under her plan, but my mom would either have to be my child's legal guardian or adopt it. I don't want or need her to do that. I just keep hearing different things about being able to get it's own policy. Can anyone tell me if this is possible??""

Do landlords usually have homeowner insurance?

Do landlord usually have homeowner insurance? Also is it true that most homeowner insurance have liability coverage? And if they took out a mortgage does the mortgage company require them to have some kind of homeowner insurance?

Help on car insurance - very urgent!?

I have recently noticed that the address on my car insurance is completely wrong. From the house number to the last digit in the postcode. I have had an accident which was apparently my fault, and now I have realised my address is wrong. I have made multiple phone calls where I've had to confirm my address too. Is there any safe way I can change my address without arousing any suspicion? Please help me because it is a genuine error, and I do not want to be accused of being fraudulent. What are the best options to take at this stage? Thank you""

How much would it be for a 16 year old kid to buy a 2010 Chevy Camaro LT1 and get insurance?

How much would it be for a 16 year old kid to buy a 2010 Chevy Camaro LT1 and get insurance?

Cheapest car insurance for a 18 year old male?

Cheapest car insurance for a 18 year old male?

Would a 1972 Monte Carlo be expensive to insure?

Someone said it may be expensive to insure this kind of car. Could he be referring to just this one particular car or all muscle cars from the early 70's? keep in mind i am 18 years old if that makes any difference.

Car insurance question?

I'm 17 and still living with my parents. I just got a car and now I need to find insurance. My dad doesn't want me on his because then, if I got in an accident, his rates would go up. My question is, if I were to cause his rates to go up and then got kicked off his plan, would his rates go back down? I'm curious because I really would rather not get my own insurance, being on my dad's would be much much much more affordable.""

""How much is car insurance? For example geico, progressive, the general, all state, 21 century, state farm etc.?""

Right now I'm still on my permit. Wen I get a liciense, I want to figure out how much it cost. For a 20 year old 21""

Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?

I need something that covers dental, vision and as much Health as possible. (Routine check ups, lab work, specialist, etc) Something with an affordable deductible and Affordable Copay..I'm not very familiar in this area but I'm 99% sure that I have progressed type 2 Diabetes as well as other various health problems and desperately need to visit the doctor. Thank you.

HELP! Im 14 and looking for cheap car insurance!?!?

my Said That I Would Have To Pay For My Insurance Every month HELP ME With The Cheapest

Which of the following medical expenses are deductible for AGI?

#NAME?

Cheapest auto insurance for a teenager?

I am 17, and my parent's won't let me get my learner's permit until I can get a job, buy my own car, and pay for my own insurance. What is the cheapest auto insurance company, but with good polices? I make good grades if that helps at all.""

Auto Insurance!?

i Have MetLife auto insurance at the present time, and i have a payment every other month. They have been sending me monthly bills the same price as my Bi-monthy bill. I have been given the run-around in other ways from them as well. Any suggestions for Auto insurance providers, for I am thinking of switching!""

Buying auto insurance for the first time?

lets say the policy will cost me 3,000 dollars. When i first buy the policy, do i pay the whole 3k up front or do i pay it in increments (i.e, 1500 for the first 6 months, then 1500 for the second)""

How much can we expect to get from insurance for replacement of car door?

Our 2003 Hyundai Sonata got backed into recently. The lady hit the front passenger door and smashed it in. It still opens, but sounds awful when it does, and the window doesn't work right (power window). She had Farmers insurance, and I've heard bad things about them, but we're gonna get an estimate from different auto body shops around town. How much can we expect the insurance to pay out for this damage?""

Car insurance involving my best friend?

recently my dad got me a car, the car's in my name, the car insurance is in my name and everything to do with the car is in my name but my dad's on the insurance as an additional driver which on my insurance additional drivers are free on my insurance, does that mean I would be able to add my best friend to the insurance enabling her to drive my car and my dad to teach her aswell under my insurance?""

Cheapest car insurers. for a 1997 citroen ax?

third party fire and theft. who is the cheapest insurer for this.thanks

Insurance when financing a car ?

What is it called when the dealership , covers your insurance for a day or so and lets you take the car until you get insurance on the car.""

Car insurance for short locations (2-4 days)?

I usually rent a car at Rent a Car service companies once or twice per month. The insurance they offer are somewhat expensive (im 26, never got pull-over, never had an accident). I would like to know if anyone knows of an insurance company who offers rent-a-car insurance? Thank you.""

Transferring van insurance to car?

can u transfer van insurance to a car in republic of ireland

Why is a five door car cheaper to insure than a 3 door car?

My father got a quote for a 5 door 1995 ford fiesta yesterday for 240. The previous car was also a fiesta of the same year and same engine but was a 3 door which cost 340 per year. We have had a 5 door ford fiesta before but that cost 340 per year as well, but the engine was the same and it was the same year. Why the difference in insurance cost between 3 and 5 doors?""

How much would insurance be a month for a 1988 ford mustang gt for a 16 year old driver in ny?

hi i want a 1988 ford mustang gt 5.0 and i am 16 years old. i was wondering how much the insurance would cost a month. im in new york and plz no answers like alot or anything like that just an estimate. pl answer and thankyou

Rough average insurance for 21 y/o on 500cc bike?

I'm coming up to 21 in August this year and i'm thinking of getting all my tests and everything done as soon as i can so i'll be on a full license. I'm thinking of getting a 500cc (probably a Honda CB500) straight away or maybe a 600cc, depends. I'll have no biking experience, no points on my license (unless something happens between now and then) and will probably be doing ~8,000 miles per year. What sort of price range should i be looking at for a years insurance?""

How can you lower 17 years olds car insurance quotes ?

hi, im 16 and turning 17 in a few months, im looking at quotes for cars for example: cars with 1.0 to 1.2 engines an that are 10 years old or more. for example: vw polo 1.2 - 11k and paying 1500 a month. i know this cant be right can someone help please !""

Car Insurance and Registration?

I am a Kansas Resident and have a Kansas Drivers License; however, I am studying in California for the next four years. I am receiving a car from my friend as a gift, but it's already registers at California. What do I do to make it legal for me to drive it?""

Can Insurance company go bankrupt form a disaster?

the bush fire in Victoria. the insurance gotta pay around 100million dollars. um, what if they don't have that much....""

Auto insurance.?

somebody hit and run me in the parking lot and dint leave any note or anything and there is no camera. the right fender has a big dent and the door wont open,if i report this to my insurance will i get an increase on montly payment? even tho its not my fault. My car is brand new got it 3 months ago and ha a full collision coverage insurance.""

Will insurance cover girlfriend who lives with you?

My boyfriend and I live together and are going to get married within the next year or two (i am in nursing school and want to finish before getting married so we can afford a really nice wedding). He has United Health Care insurance and I've tried to find info online but cannot find the info i'm needing. He has this insurance through his employer. Can I be covered on his insurance without us being married? I see online you can do a family plan, but that's all i see. doesn't say if non-married couples can be covered.""

Adding a teen to the insurance with past accidents?

I take my license test exactly one week from today. I have all the insurance papers that I needed from my driving school. do I wait until I get my license to get on the insurance or can I do it now so that I'll be on there for next week? also, when I had my permit, I had two minor parking lot accidents that my dad had to take the blame for. Now that I will be on the insurance can I tell them it was me so that I will pay for the increase directly to the insurance company or should I just pay him the difference of what it is now and what it used to be each month? because I know his driving record will follow him for life. thanks in advance!""

How much is insurance for a street Motorcycle ?

How much would it cost me monthly for insurance on a street motorcycle. Original cost of motorcycle 4,500. I'm under 18 and have a GED hope that helps. Thanks""

""How much is the yearly average insurance for a sixteen year old in LA, California.?""

How much is the yearly average insurance for a sixteen year old in LA, California.PS. Liability only. And if you need to know the car and insurance corp its an 1995 Ferrari f355, and 21st insurance. Please give real averages and i am serious so please real and serious answers. What i mean is please tell me the price only for a year. Please only serious and real answers.""

What are the best health insurance companies with the best plans that covers everything?

Hello, I am in the State of Pennsylvania which is USA. What are the best health insurance companies with the best plans. I'm not happy with free, but people tell me I can't afford plans, and I still do it anyway. I looked at BlueCross. Well, both Highmark, Capital. Capital said they had a Senior PPO plan. I believe that's the name. They have a once year dental plan, but it doesn't cover anything else for the dental. They do have that plan for medical, vision, prescriptions, and the such. What companies, and what plan from that particular company would cover everything, but affordable? I am 29 years of age. I'll be 30 in January. I'm not qualify senior. I do have benefits coming for disabled Medicare of a disabled deceased record.""

""How much can I expect to pay for car insurance in BC, Canada?""

I'm trying to budget for next year, and just need a rough estimate of what insurance will cost a 19 yr old female, driver training and defensive driving certificates, 2 years learners, 2 years GDL, 1.5 years full licence driving (total of 5.5 years driving experience), driving an older dodge turbo vehicle of some sort. Any broad range ideas?""

How much will insurance cost for a 17 year old in New York with a Senior Class D Licsence?

Like if i put it under my dad's name as another driver for the car?, or how much will it be for myself aswell? Let's say for example, because am getting a 2004 bmw 328""

Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?

I need something that covers dental, vision and as much Health as possible. (Routine check ups, lab work, specialist, etc) Something with an affordable deductible and Affordable Copay..I'm not very familiar in this area but I'm 99% sure that I have progressed type 2 Diabetes as well as other various health problems and desperately need to visit the doctor. Thank you.

How flexible are life insurance quotes. Can I negotiate with company for a better rate.?

I got a quote for my family and me for life insurance (20 years/400K each). I would like to negotiate a better rate with the broker (assuming same coverage).Can it be done, or are the rates fixed, is there room to negotiate. we did the blood work and were offered standard rates.""

What's the cheapest auto insurance ?

What's the cheapest auto insurance ?

Do motorcycles require insurance in georgia?

Do motorcycles require insurance in georgia?

""Claiming to have gotten my license at 16 years of age, for cheaper car insurance?""

I found out when getting a car insurance quote, that if you claim to have gotten your license at 16, it will lower your quote, and you can pay it right there online...my question is, will the company look for the issue date on your license? if they do, will they adjust your payments?...""

How ill this effect my car insurance quote?

there is a question on an money supermarket asking if i have access to any other vehicles. my answer would be company vehicle, excluding social how would this effect my insurance quote? also how would company vehicle, including social effect my qoute? Thanks""

How much would car insurance be on a 2004 mustang?

i just recently bought a red 2004 Mustang V-6 convertible and i was wondering how much insurance would cost ? im pretty sure its over 100 but how much ? im 16 and its my first car , no rude comments please.""

""If I get liability only insurance, and somebody else crashes into me, will I get my car repaired?""

My grandma recently gave me a 2005 civic as a gift. Its great but comprehensive insurance is $230 a month. Ive looked around and thats about as cheap as it gets (I am a teenage male that's why its so expensive, despite my flawless driving record). I have been considering getting liability only insurance for a month or 2 because I need to get more hours at work to be able to afford comprehensive. If I get into an accident thats not my fault will i be out of luck or will the at fault driver have to repair my car?""

Car insurance question?

My dad has got me a new car through finance, but the car is in his name as my credit is not strong enough for finance. Is there any insurance I can get that still gives me my points per year? Thanks""

How do i get health insurance...??

I want health insurance ASAP but i dont know who to contact or what would be the best company or plan....can anyone give me some advice???

How much is car insurance for 17 year old?

how much is car insurance for 17 year old? i want to buy a 2001-2005 Vauxhall corsa 1.2 and i wondering how much the insurance is. also do i have to pay the full amount of insurance upfront or is split into months for example if the insurance is 3000 am i be ale to pay 250 a month

Problem with insurance?

I got in an accident that I am not in fault. Basically I was stopped at the intersection behind the red lights. A car from opposite side ran the red light hit the crossing car and the second car spin and hit my car. I have full caoverage and fixed my car with my insurance and have my insurance claim the money from the first driver insurance company. I rent a car under my coverage and also pay $500 deductable to fix my car. Now is almost a month pass and I keep calling my insurance to know if they got paid by the other insurance and requesting to pay me back for rental and the 500. My insurance is telling me that they may not be able to get ever thing they might be get only the cost of the fixing my car. What should I do? Should I sue my insurance or not?

Can someone tell me what the cheapest car insurance is for college students?

Can someone tell me what the cheapest car insurance is for college students?

""Looking for cheapest car insurance, see discription thanks!?""

I'm 16 I get a 3.8gpa and own a 1977 formula 400 pontiac firebird, and live in california... I want to get cheap insurance my family doesn't make allot of money. what is the price range for someone with my credentials.""

I'm looking for affordable auto insurance...?

I am looking for an affordable auto insurance in New Jersey. Does anyone have any ideas. And is it true that a Broker is a good option? What would be a reasonable rate for just a PIP and a older car? I have no accidents or tickets.

How long does it take to get auto insurance?

if i apply now how long will i be able to get the insurance? im a new driver and i need insurance 4 myself. i need to drive a car with insurance before may

How much does home insurance cost?

I am looking to buy a home in northern california and was wondering how much home insurance cost. I have a family of 5 (including me), good credit score, and am looking at homes around $250,000. I want descent coverage, but not for a lot of money. could you please answer and give me the names of any place i can get good home insurance that is not too expensive. thanx""

How does private health insurance work?

I am a freshman in high school interested in the medical field and I don't know much about all this health insurance business but I've heard all about this national health care bill and how all these people can't afford to pay for their own health insurance and that's why we are going to national health care and that got me to thinking about why we need national insurance anyway. It's obviously a problem of people not being able to afford private health insurance or not believing private health insurance is worth the cost. So I have a variety of questions about how one pays for it such as: How much do you pay a month? What do you have to pay when you go see a doctor? Are prescription drugs covered/ if not are prescriptions expensive? I know with car insurance your rate goes up if you receive multiple tickets/multiple car accidents and was wondering if your base health insurance pay goes up as well if you have a multitude of health concerns. If you could answer any of these questions I would really appreciate it as I am interested in going into the medical field later in life. I am also open to any other information about private insurance you have. However, I don't want this to become a political debate on national health care as I am purely interested how an individual pays for his own private health insurance.""

How can I tell if my chiropractor is under my insurance?

How can I tell if the chiropractor I have been going to accepts my insurance. I'm switching insurances on November 1st, so I need to know if they accept my new insurance. If they don't, I want to see what my other options are.""

How much for kit car insurance ?

how much is insurance on a 1929 Mercedes Gazelle kit car valued at about $8000. ? i like in Florida and KY so it could be purchased in either state (cheapest) occasional ride not a daily driver

What is average cost for auto dealers insurance for a year in NYC?

What is average cost for auto dealers insurance for a year in NYC?

Cheapest insurance?

what is the cheapest car insurance in Hamilton Ontario Canada if i was 19 years old and i got the g2 3 moths ago?

How much will my insurance rise?

I recently got a speeding ticket for going 9 over in a school zone as well as one for talking on a cell phone in a school zone. I was curious as to how much my insurance will rise. I am 18 and recieved the ticket in Texas. This is my first offense(s). How many points for insurance is a cell phone ticket? Thanks so much!

Quick Car Insurance Question?

Would it be cheaper for me to add onto my parents insurance, rather than have my own policy? I'm a 20 year old male by the way and currently have a quote for $115 a month.""

""My Daughter starting driving lessons, { she 17 } where is the cheapest place for insurance for when she pass?""

I drive , could she go on my insurance ? would that go up? I have 7 years no claims. Thanks .""

If my car insurance gets canceled b/c of late payments?

will they reinstate it again if i paid what i owed in full?

Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?

I need something that covers dental, vision and as much Health as possible. (Routine check ups, lab work, specialist, etc) Something with an affordable deductible and Affordable Copay..I'm not very familiar in this area but I'm 99% sure that I have progressed type 2 Diabetes as well as other various health problems and desperately need to visit the doctor. Thank you.

How much would it cost to get added to someones insurance policy...?

I need to prove that I have insurance to get my license reinstated. My grandma said I can use her car, but I'm not covered. She has liability insurance for her car. How much would it cost me (18 year old male, inexperienced driver) to get added to her policy. It is a small, older 4 door car. Any idea about how much it would be extra a month for me to be added? Also, would she be able to take me off of the policy whenever she wanted without any kind of fee (like if I tried to get taken off in a month, would they say that she has to pay for 6 months...). Thanks!""

Jeep Vs Car Insurance?

hey i am a 17 male. i was just wondering would insurance for a jeep be cheaper then insurance on a car since you would be less likely to rally around a jeep, and other dangerous driving etc.. i am also wondering if a 2L jeep would be dear to insure for a 17 male, since it is a jeep. thanks :)""

Classic (1964-1972) Mustang Reliability/Maintenance/Insura...

Hi guys, I am looking to get a classic mustang convertible as my first car/college car. Is this a good idea? I know its not the most reliable, but for the kind of money I have I think it is the coolest and most fun car I can buy. What are the reliability/maintenance/insurance like? thank you!""

Do I buy car insurance before buying a car from a private party?

I'm buying a car this weekend from a private seller (we are just waiting for the duplicate title to come in the mail; she lost the original). Money won't be exchanged until ...show more

I cannot find any cheap car insurance quotes?

Does anyone know any cheap car insurance companies?

How much would a 1.1 litre car cost me a month?

Im 18 and starting my driving lessons, im also a stay at home mum. Cant afford a nice car so a 1.1 litre car is only in my range. Id like to know roughly how much my insurance would be a month? Thank you""

Car insurance: Proof of no claims?

I just got a letter through today from my car insurance provider asking me they want proof of my no claims. I renewed earlier in the month however i didn't change providers so seems a bit pointless them wanting proof when they hold the no claims information themselves. I didn't renew in the straight forward way as i planned to sell my car but ended up changing my mind but wanted to make some changes to my policy so just created a new policy using my online account i have with the insurance company, it turned out to be cheaper doing it that way but obviously because of the changes i made, could this be why i have received this letter? Should i just notify them of the situation in a letter and attach my original renewal letter which has the no claims information on it? Or will i need to get a so called proof of no claims certificate to get this sorted?""

What's an average car insurance for a 16 year old. ?

I'm going to be a 16 year old. I'm a male and I live in maryland if that helps I have no clue about car insurance so any and all info would help! Please and thanks! (:

Can an insurance company drop your auto insurance any time?

I have had 3 claims in 4 years. The first two claims where while living in another state. I since moved and just put in my third claim today (first claim with this company). My insurance payment really isn't all that high, about $75 monthly. The lady told me today that it would go up 10% if the cost was over $750. (it will be) She said this didn't effect my insurability or anything, but what if I had another accident in a year?? The real question is, can an insurance company drop you for any reason at any time? Some have said no, only within the first 60 days, others say yes, absolutely any time. What's the right answer?""

""Adding a driver to car insurance, average cost?""

if you add another driver to your insurance like your brother, or sister or son, who is a new driver, and your insurance costs $350 for six months already. how much do you think would be additional cost to this insurance as a result of this change? if you can share ur experience it would be nice. i know it all depends on the history of the new driver, but say the new driver did not have any accidents or anything. i need to get a general impression... Thanks in advance.""

How does arbitration work between 2 car insurance companies?

I was in a car accident about a month ago. My car insurance agreed that the accident was 100% not my fault. The other car insurance company is trying to say that it was 50% my fault( which is totally ridiculous because the other driver was cited by police for failure to yield). Today i got a phone call from my car insurance company saying that my claim is now going to arbitration. What can i expect to happen next? What can I do to prepare my self? I am very frustrated with this whole thing. I know this car accident was 100% not my fault. I dont want to be blaimed at all. I forgot to mention that i live in NY state. Thank you, Zack""

Why do red cars go hand in hand with a high auto insurance bill????

Red cars always get a high insurance rate. Not all red cars are sporty or fast so why is this?

Can i stay under parents insurance and switch car title over to my name?

So my parents gave me a car for my 18th birthday a few years ago and I am still under their insurance. I gave the car a paint job that costed 2,500 and I want to make sure the care is mine, can I switch the car title to my name while still being on their insurance? They keep me under their insurance so I can have cheaper insurance while in college""

How much is Delta Airlines health insurance premium?

For an Economics family project, I have to be a flight attendant, make a monthly budget and help take care of my family. Probably the only thing missing from my project is health insurance. If I get it through my job , how much does the premium cost or is it covered?""

Will my provisional insurance go up after i pass my test?

evening folks, i have my test booked for 3 weeks away, i have been shopping around for car insurance and if i enter that i have a full license then my cheapest quote is over 2000, whereas if i put that i have a provisional then it drops to 1400.. question: if i take out insurance in my name on a provisional will the price go up after i inform them that ive passed?? all answers and opinions welcomed thanks ;)""

How much will car insurance be for me?

Im 18 and in college with a gpa of 3.5 or so. And i am driving a honda s2000 convertible. I live with my parents and have a clean record for everything. And i also took drivers ed

When will my car insurance rates go down?

I pay 135 dollars a month for car insurance, because of a multitude of reasons. I am 22, got a speeding ticket when I was 19 along with a ticket for no insurance (I had it but couldn't find it). I have had my license suspended twice due to unpaid fix it tickets. I have progressive, if that helps. I was wondering when I can expect my monthly rates to decrease. This is a lot of money for 6-month coverage.""

Car insurance question...?

If you have insurance on a car, is the car covered in a wreck no matter who's driving it?""

""I'm in the USA w/ a work visa. I need car insurance, and no one will insure me since I do not have residency""

I am here on a work visa to work at summer camp. Camp is now over, and I have 2 months to tour the USA. I need car insurance, but no company will give it to me since I am not a US citizen, and I do not have a residence. I have been staying at a friend's house, and they will not let me use their house as a residency. What is the solution? I need a car. Renting a car is not an option. What can I do.""

""Why in California, mortage lenders require fire insuance but not earthquake insurance?""

and why few insurance companies cover earthquakes and if they do, it is with unusally high premiums and co-payments""

""Looking for a good car insurance agency but not too expensive, any advise ?""

Hi, i have been with allstate for over ten years for my car insurance but recently i just got a newer car and it sky-rocked and im looking for a better rate, if anyone would recommend some i would appreciate it so i can get some good rates to look at and compare, I don't know why it went up so high because i have had no tickets or accidents in fifteen years but they say they have not made any mistakes with it. Thanks for the advise Deb :)""

Car accident! they didnt have insurance! what cam i do?

last monday i was on a car accident,,,,(t-bone colission) it was there fault...i had a green light...she turned left at a red!.....but they dont have insurance...i need money to fix my car.....what can i do....? they told me thy were going to get my car fixed,,,but now they dont want to pay....and the even want to sew me! the police officer told me that i had to sew them cuz they didnt have insurance! what could happen in court!? what are the chances that theyll pay for my car!!? i live in texas....thanks""

Car Insurance - How much of my premium would I get back?

Hi everyone I live in the UK and I insure my car with Direct Line. I have never had any issues with them before apart from now that I have a new car. I have several years no claims for my driving, most of which are through policies with Direct Line. However, the first 2 years I was driving I was with another insurance company and gained 2 years no claims with them. When I took out my latest policy with Direct Line after buying a new vehicle they said they needed to see proof of my no claims. I contacted my old insurance company who sent me a letter confirming these years and I sent this to Direct Line, they said they never received it so I requested another letter and sent this one also but via Recorded Delivery. It is now a month on and Direct Line are claiming they haven't received this one either although proof of postage and tracking shows it was signed for. I wish to cancel my policy with Direct Line and was wondering how much of my policy cost I would be entitled to receive back from them. Many thanks""

Irish Female Insurance?

I have a provisional Irish drivers licence and I will be driving a year 2000 Nissan micra 1.1 litre engine. I was just wondering about how much will my insurance cost?

Will this effect my car insurance?

I got pulled over and ticketed for an outdated inspection sticker and a light being out. I've been ticketed before, but the ticket was thrown out in court. I was wondering if this will effect my car insurance at all. I live in Massachusetts. I think it counts as a moving violation but i think they let you off on your first offence.""

Can someone please help me find the best insurance for me?

I need something that covers dental, vision and as much Health as possible. (Routine check ups, lab work, specialist, etc) Something with an affordable deductible and Affordable Copay..I'm not very familiar in this area but I'm 99% sure that I have progressed type 2 Diabetes as well as other various health problems and desperately need to visit the doctor. Thank you.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insuranceunder-25-carlene-ostara"

[bardofsomerset]

“Together We Stand” - WiM 2016

In grand tradition, a year after it should have been posted, my most recent revvy musings.

WiM is a magical place, so obviously it comes together spontaneously through some undefined magic.

No? Well, then obviously the WiM Co-ordinator is a magical person who makes WiM happen through their undefined magic.

As I more than once had to tell the 2016 WiM Co-ordinator to go and lie down before she fell over because she was so ill, I don’t think this is true. WiM is put together by a team. A whole group of people working together behind the scenes so by the time WiM starts, it looks like magic. That team is made up of people like you.

I don’t, as a general rule, volunteer for things. I realise I’m writing this as a member of Rev’s National Volunteer Team, so obviously something went wrong somewhere along the line. I’m taking my article on WiM 2016 as a chance to think about why. For the last two years, my volunteering hasn’t just been confined to the national network. I’ve also been an active volunteer in the organisation of WiM; Rev’s annual week away. If someone like me can do that, I see no reason why you shouldn’t be able to as well. Whether on the national team or an event team, Rev has something you can do.

I’ve mentioned before how it took me a long time to make it to my first WiM. When I eventually did go, in 2013, it was only because of a bit (or more than a bit) of nudging from a friend. It was a scary experience, but rather brilliant, and I enjoyed myself very much. Feeling quite triumphant about my successful attendance, I did the same thing next year. I saw no need to do more. I’d found somewhere I was comfortable and the idea of volunteering still seemed unnatural. Besides, no one needed me.

The next WiM, in 2014, was when I ended up on the National Volunteer Team, but that was entirely an accident. I wrote one piece for one concert programme and my ever encouraging friend had suddenly nudged me right into writing for Rev all the time. It wasn’t my idea. There wasn’t even a position waiting for me – they had to create a new one from scratch. That just shows you how eager Rev is to give new people a chance in whatever way they can. You don’t have to know what you want to do – just say you want to help; they’ll find you a place.

That same friend who nominated me to write for Rev also suggested, and I just kind of nodded (as I usually do) that 2015 would be a good time to try being on WiM team. After all, there were media positions on the team that were pretty similar to my new national role. I could write letters to people, which was one of my specialities.

I considered. Could I do it? It was theoretically inside my capabilities, but it was also a little outside of my comfort zone. I was still considering the day before the job application deadline. It really did seem quite a lot of effort. I was perfectly happy just attending WiM as an attendee. I thought I might not bother.

That evening, I received a Facebook message from that year’s WiM Co-ordinator. She wasn’t the person who normally nudged me into these things, but she was (and still is) a friend. It seemed that just because I didn’t think they needed me, it didn’t mean they didn’t want me. She said, “I was just wondering if you are considering applying for a position on team this year. I’d really love to have you on my WiM team! Would be great to have your local knowledge and awesome writing skills.”

What can you do when a friend says something like that? When I expressed my uncertainty, she said, “I’d love you to be on team but no pressure, it has to be the right thing for you.” She was being far too understanding. There was no way I could say no.

My first ever WiM job was Press and Sponsorship Secretary. I had to send letters to businesses asking them if they’d send us free stuff because we’re a charity and letters to local media asking them to tell the world we were putting on a concert. It was a job I could finish before WiM even started. I felt quite satisfied with myself as I typed and sent out my e-mails. Absolutely none of the people I contacted replied, so the success of my first WiM role can be debated, but no one was angry at the lack of sponsorship and I was able to spend the week of WiM itself relatively chilled.

At least at first. Right until concert day. You see, the media team (of which Press and Sponsorship Secretary is part), are more generally responsible for things like concert programmes and tickets at WiM. These things become more important when the concert is only a few hours away. Especially when you don’t even have a final set list yet. It’s difficult to print programmes when you don’t actually know what’s going in them.

I mentioned in a previous article how I ended up preparing a PowerPoint, folding more concert programmes than I humanly thought possible (why did we not print them until an hour before the concert?) and arranging some biscuits all in in the one half hour of free time we had on concert day. Well, plus during half a rehearsal that I ended up skipping (I knew the songs as well as I was going to by then). It was a bit ridiculous, but it wasn’t just me. There were three of us on the media team. There’s another important lesson – when you’re volunteering with Rev, there’s always someone there ready to help and support you.

My position was overseen by the Media Secretary and she didn’t mind that no one responded to my sponsorship requests. She did compliment my letter writing and made herself available whenever I had questions. I didn’t have to be alone. As I added words to someone else’s pictures on the PowerPoint, there was a feeling of satisfaction at seeing the work being completed. Half the joy of WiM is making the impossible seem possible.

For reasons best known to herself, nudging me onto the National Volunteer Team and helping me on WiM team weren’t enough for my friend. When WiM was over, she told me that I should be Admin/Treasurer at WiM 2016. As we have established previously, when she tells me I should do something, I generally end up doing it. Admin/Treasurer was a leadership role, bigger and more important than Press and Sponsorship Secretary. I’d be in charge of e-mailing all WiM attendees, of managing their payments and making sure they knew where the church was and what kit they had to bring. I would be the one who made the signup forms, then sorted the information they gave me. It was all very important.

Again it was a job I could mostly do before WiM even began. Again it required plenty of writing but little face-to-face interaction. Unlike other leadership roles, I wasn’t responsible for a team of my own. The only other member of WiM team I had to collaborate with was the WiM Co-ordinator, with whom I shared an identical taste in books and therefore could work with well. When we weren’t too busy talking about lady knights and militant librarians. She also rapped the plot of Macbeth to me at one point. It was a perfect partnership. Still, it was quite a lot of responsibility.

Luckily, I again had support, both from the WiM Co-ordinator and the National Finance Administrator. Payments couldn’t be made for WiM without the National Finance Administrator’s access to the Rev bank account. Guess who the National Financial Administrator was in 2016? If you guessed the same person who had been my supervising Media Secretary and who had convinced me to come to WiM in the first place, you’d be right. Yet again Rev proved I didn’t have to do anything alone. Even better, I didn’t need to do any of the mathematical half of my job, which was what had almost put me off applying.

One of the most important things for me to decide was the WiM budget. My guidance said I needed to consult with the National Finance Administrator and the WiM Co-ordinator to decide how much money we had to spend and to inform the team. I couldn’t attend the Forum where the budget was first discussed, but NFA and WC put together their first draft and sent it to me for any improvements I thought could be made.

As the NFA is a qualified maths teacher and the WC is a structural engineer, they’re both reasonably familiar with working with numbers. I am a writer. Maths is not particularly my area of expertise. The only numbers I worry about are word counts in my stories (which I’m not very good at sticking to anyway). I told them I was sure they knew what they were doing and gave it my stamp of approval. See, being on WiM team is easy. Just delegate or ask for help.

Making signup forms proved a trickier responsibility for me as WiM Administrator. Trying to figure out all the information we needed to know and how to frame questions so they would fit in the limited format of Survey Monkey took some experimentation. However, it was the sort of puzzle I enjoy. Then there was repeatedly e-mailing the WiM Co to make sure she approved of the form before I sent the link out – she wasn’t always the quickest at responding to messages.

When WiM actually began, my main role became making sure people had filled in their medical forms (to the extent of texting one person at eight in the morning because she was staying at a hotel and needed reminding to bring her form back to the church). Please be prompt filling in your medical forms, to save administrators headaches and reduce the chance of you dying in a sudden and unexpected emergency.

There were elements of WiM that didn’t go to plan. The WiM Co became ill on the very first day and by Sunday had been reduced to enthusiastic gesturing as her main mode of communication. Her voice had completely gone, which is awkward when you’re at a choir event anyway, let alone when you’re meant to be instructing people. It was time for the rest of the team to help her instead of the other way round.

Then I woke Thursday morning with a tickle in my throat. By evening it was fuzziness through my whole head. When we did a sound check on Friday, I spent most of it sitting down. Even during the concert, I ended up leaving stage during the last number as I felt myself swaying where I stood. I do recommend not being ill at WiM if you can help it (or at least plan ahead and bringing all possible cold, flu and sore throat medication with you).

During my time of illness, I ended up with a somewhat unexpected role, not connected to administrating or treasuring. On Friday, the National Co-ordinator and National Finance Administrator (a former WiM Co in her own right) were discussing buying our current WiM Co a present to thank her for her hard work. This is a WiM tradition, but they wanted to make sure they bought her something she would like, as opposed to a plant that might die two days later (NFA is not horticulturally minded and had not managed to preserve her own WiM gift).

For some reason, despite the fact that the WiM Co had been coming to WiM for over ten years whilst I’d only been there for three, NFA decided I was the best person to pick a gift. It must have been the identical taste in books, because I was sure there were people who’d known the WiM Co longer and better than me.

What followed was a long trek down the narrowest streets of Norwich with the NFA, poking our heads in every gift shop we saw as I looked for the craft shop I was sure I had seen earlier in the week. We walked past it several times, only to eventually buy the gifts from the shop next door. Dragonfly cushion and Norwich colouring book in hand, the NFA phoned her husband to discuss whether it was a good idea to spend an extortionate amount of money on a cushion with a badger on it. Don’t ask. By the time we returned to the church, my brief surge in energy had disappeared and I was ready to curl up and be ill again.

Other than that shopping trip, my memories last few days of WiM 2016 are blurry at best. I do vaguely remember that I left the moneybox full of our profits in an unlocked room in the church whilst we all went to the pub. That wasn’t my proudest moment. This is why being a WiM treasurer is better than working with money in the real world. You aren’t fired for something like that. Everyone continued to be lovely and supportive and took over my job whilst wishing me a speedy return to health.

WiM ended with me receiving the best thank you card ever for my administrative help (it was gold and fancy and had a quote from my favourite Shakespeare play on it). There’s no risk of not feeling appreciated when you volunteer with Rev. Despite the illness, WiM 2016 was pretty successful for me.

This year, I decided something a bit different at WiM. I’m not going for a job that’s all sitting behind a computer and no human interaction. I’m going to be on the environment team. This will involve me actively being nice to people and socialising, which is even more unnatural to me than volunteering in general. Still, it’s people like my previous bond group leaders who made WiM a comfortable enough place that I was willing to keep coming back and trying new things. I hope I can do the same thing for someone else.

Trying to push yourself and find the skills you never knew you had is right there in Rev’s Aims and Values. It’s a fundamental part of the choir. Whether it’s music or other performing arts, concert tech or concert decoration, publicity or social activities, catering or paperworking, we have a place for you. There are positions open on the national team at this very moment and if you’re not sure what you can do, you can always e-mail to say “I’d like to be helpful but don’t know how.” We’d love to have you. Why don’t you give it a try?

[amberdscott2]

Here’s What to Ask the Former Equifax CEO

Richard Smith — who resigned as chief executive of big-three credit bureau Equifax this week in the wake of a data breach that exposed 143 million Social Security numbers — is slated to testify in front of no fewer than four committees on Capitol Hill next week. If I were a lawmaker, here are some of the questions I’d ask when Mr. Smith goes to Washington.

Before we delve into the questions, a bit of background is probably in order. The new interim CEO of Equifax — Paulino do Rego Barros Jr. — took to The Wall Street Journal and other media outlets this week to publish a mea culpa on all the ways Equifax failed in responding to this breach (the title of the op-ed in The Journal was literally “I’m sorry”).

“We were hacked,” Barros wrote. “That’s the simple fact. But we compounded the problem with insufficient support for consumers. Our website did not function as it should have, and our call center couldn’t manage the volume of calls we received. Answers to key consumer questions were too often delayed, incomplete or both.”

Barros stated that Equifax was working to roll out a new system by Jan. 31, 2018 that would let consumers “easily lock and unlock access to their Equifax credit files.”

“You will be able to do this at will,” he continued. “It will be reliable, safe, and simple. Most significantly, the service will be offered free, for life.”

I have argued for years that all of the data points needed for identity thieves to open new lines of credit in your name and otherwise ruin your credit score are available for sale in the cybercrime underground. To be certain, the Equifax breach holds the prospect that ID thieves could update all that stolen data with newer records. I’ve argued that the only sane response to this sorry state of affairs is for consumers to freeze their files at the bureaus, which blocks potential creditors — and ID thieves — from trashing your credit file and credit score.

Equifax is not the only bureau promoting one of these lock services. Since Equifax announced its breach on Sept. 7, big-three credit bureaus Trans Union and Experian have worked feverishly to steer consumers seeking freezes toward these locks instead, arguing that they are easier to use and allow consumers to lock and unlock their credit files with little more than the press of a button on a mobile phone app. Oh, and the locks are free, whereas the bureaus can (and do) charge consumers for placing and/or thawing a freeze (the laws freeze fee laws differ from state to state).

CREDIT FREEZE VS. CREDIT LOCK

My first group of questions would center around security freezes or credit freezes, and the difference between those and these credit lock services being pushed hard by the bureaus.

Currently, even consumer watchdog groups say they are uncertain about the difference between a freeze and a lock. See this press release from Thursday by U.S. PIRG, the federation of state Public Interest Research Groups, for one such example.

Also, I’m curious to know what percentage of Americans had a freeze prior to the breach, and how many froze their credit files (or attempted to do so) after Equifax announced the breach. The answers to these questions may help explain why the bureaus are now massively pushing their new credit lock offerings (i.e., perhaps they’re worried about the revenue hit they’ll take should a significant percentage of Americans decide to freeze their credit files).

I suspect the pre-breach number is less than one percent. I base this guess loosely on some data I received from the head of security at Dropbox, who told KrebsOnSecurity last year that less than one percent of its user base of 500 million registered users had chosen to turn on 2-factor authentication for their accounts. This extra security step can block thieves from accessing your account even if they steal your password, but many consumers simply don’t take advantage of such offerings because either they don’t know about them or they find them inconvenient.

Bear in mind that while most two-factor offerings are free, most freezes involve fees, so I’d expect the number of pre-breach freezers to be a fraction of one percent. However, if only one half of one percent of Americans chose to freeze their credit files before Equifax announced its breach — and if the total number of Americans requesting a freeze post-breach rose to, say, one percent — that would still be a huge jump (and potentially a painful financial hit to Equifax and the other bureaus).

So without further ado, here are some questions I’d ask on the topic of credit locks and freezes:

-Approximately how many credit files on Americans does Equifax currently maintain?

-Prior to the Equifax breach, approximately how many Americans had chosen to freeze their credit files at Equifax?

-Approximately how many total Americans today have requested a freeze from Equifax? This should include the company’s best estimate on the number of people who have requested a freeze but — because of the many failings of Equifax’s public response cited by Barros — were unable to do so via phone or the Internet.

-Approximately how much does Equifax charge each time the company sells a credit check (i.e., a bank or other potential creditor performs a “pull” on a consumer credit file)?

-On average, how many times per year does Equifax sell access to consumer’s credit file to a potential creditor?

-Mr. Barros said Equifax will extend its offer of free credit freezes until the end of January 2018. Why not make them free indefinitely, just as the company says it plans to do with its credit lock service?

-In what way does a consumer placing a freeze on their credit file limit Equifax’s ability to do business?

-In what way does a consumer placing a lock on their credit file limit Equifax’s ability to do business?

-If a lock accomplishes the same as a freeze, why create more terminology that only confuses consumers?

-By agreeing to use Equifax’s lock service, will consumers also be opting in to any additional marketing arrangements, either via Equifax or any of its partners?

BREACH RESPONSE

Equifax could hardly have bungled their breach response more if they tried. It is said that one should never attribute to malice what can more easily be explained by incompetence, but Equifax surely should have known that how they handled their public response would be paramount to their ability to quickly put this incident behind them and get back to business as usual.

Equifax has come under heavy criticism for waiting too long to disclose this breach. It has said that the company became aware of the intrusion on July 29, and yet it did not publicly disclose the breach until Sept. 7.However, when Equifax did disclose, it seemed like everything about the response was rushed and ill-conceived.

One theory that I simply cannot get out of my head is that perhaps Equifax rushed preparations for is breach disclosure and response because it was given a deadline by extortionists who were threatening to disclose the breach on their own if the company did not comply with some kind of demand.

-I’d ask a question of mine that Equifax refused to answer shortly after the breach: Whether the company was the target of extortionists over this data breach *before* the breach was officially announced on Sept. 7.

-Equifax said the attackers abused a vulnerability in Apache Struts to break in to the company’s Web applications. That Struts flaw was patched by the Apache Foundation on March 8, 2017, but Equifax waited until after July 30, 2017 — after it learned of the breach — to patch the vulnerability. Why did Equifax decide to wait four and a half months to apply this critical update?

-How did Equifax become aware of this breach? Was it from an external source, such as law enforcement?

-Assuming Equifax learned about this breach from law enforcement agencies, what did those agencies say regarding how they learned about the breach?

FRAUD AND ABUSE

Multiple news organizations have reported that companies which track crimes related to identity theft — such as account takeovers, new account fraud, and e-commerce fraud — saw huge upticks in all of these areas corresponding to two periods that are central to Equifax’s breach timeline; the first in mid-May, when Equifax said the intruders began abusing their access to the company, and the second late July/early August, when Equifax said it learned about the breach.

This chart shows spikes in various forms of identity abuse — including account takeovers and new account fraud — as tracked by ThreatMetrix, a San Jose, Calif. firm that helps businesses prevent fraud.

-Has Equifax performed any analysis on consumer credit reports to determine if there has been any pattern of consumer harm as a result of this breach?

-Assuming the answer to the previous question is yes, did the company see any spikes in applications for new lines of consumer credit corresponding to these two time periods in 2017?

Many fraud experts report that a fast-growing area of identity theft involves so-called “synthetic ID theft,” in which fraudsters take data points from multiple established consumer identities and merge them together to form a new identity. This type of fraud often takes years to result in negative consequences for consumers, and very often the debt collection agencies will go after whoever legitimately owns the Social Security number used by that identity, regardless of who owns the other data points.

-Is Equifax aware of a noticeable increase in synthetic identity theft in recent months or years?

-What steps, if any, does Equifax take to ensure that multiple credit files are not using the same Social Security number?

-Prior to its breach disclosure, Equifax spent more than a half million dollars in the first half of 2017 lobbying Congress to pass legislation that would limit the legal liability of credit bureaus in connection with data security lapses. Do you still believe such legislation is necessary? Why or why not?

What questions did I leave out, Dear Readers? Or is there a way to make a question above more succinct? Sound off in the comments below, and I may just add yours to the list!

In the meantime, here are the committees at which Former Equifax CEO Richard Smith will be testifying next week on Capitol Hill. Some of these committees will no doubt be live-streaming the hearings. Check back at the links below on the morning-of for more information on that. Also, C-SPAN almost certainly will be streaming some of these as well:

-Tuesday, Oct. 3, 10:00 a.m., House Energy and Commerce Committee. Rayburn House Office Bldg. Room 2123.

-Wednesday, Oct. 5, 10:00 a.m., Senate Committee on Banking, Housing, & Urban Affairs. Dirksen Senate Office Bldg., Room 538.

-Wednesday, Oct. 5, 2:30 p.m., Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Privacy, Technology and the Law. Dirksen Senate Office Bldg., Room 226.

-Thursday, Oct. 6, 9:15 a.m., House Financial Services Committee. Rayburn House Office Bldg., Room 2128.

from Amber Scott Technology News https://krebsonsecurity.com/2017/09/heres-what-to-ask-the-former-equifax-ceo/