#howie go to bed

[howlingdemon13]

*looks left* *looks right*

I want to kiss him on the mouth so fucking bad it's not even funny, man.

The awful little monster scratches the itch in my brain and skljfdbgajfhbgdfjhgnb why is he hot????????????????

[antimony-ore]

I'm switching my sleep schedule around again because I fall into destructive habits and doomscroll when my life revolves around how my mom spends her days. (This sounds extremely negative but she does the exact same thing everyday, wears herself out, and then sits and watches tv. It's like watching myself not try to live, it's ick)

[robinminustherichard]

Just a little bucktommy/Buck does what's best for him/Tommy is the #1 Evan Buckley defender drabble for you on this Wednesday

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Hey Tommy, sorry to bother you with this but any chance you've heard from Buck?

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

He told us he was still transferring and also taking a week off and now no one has heard from him in days.

Tommy looks at the text messages, coming in quick succession, and snorts harshly.

[TOMMY KINARD]

That sounds like a lot. Did you check his house?

Tommy knows they didn't check his house, because they have absolutely no clue what had been going on in Evan's life for at least a few weeks, probably closer to a month.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Uh. Well.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

We kind of don't know where he moved to.

Tommy rolls his eyes, mutters "Jesus Christ, Chimney," under his breath.

[TOMMY KINARD]

You don't know where your own brother-in-law lives? Dude.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Come on man I just had a baby

[TOMMY KINARD]

I thought your wife had the baby

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

You're a comedian.

[TOMMY KINARD]

I'd say I'm here all week, but I'm actually on vacation.

[HOWIE HAN]: 1 New Message

Yeah, yeah, I'll take the hint and stop bothering you. Even though you have no sympathy for the fact that my wife is going to be very disappointed with me when she finds out I lost her brother and she's going to look at me in the way that makes me feel very sad and also guilty.

[TOMMY KINARD]

Well, if I see him I'll let you know. Good luck with all of that I guess.

Tommy chuckles again, the face pushed into his stomach bouncing a bit with it. Evan rolls, sleep-bright eyes blinking up at Tommy in confusion.

"Whatsit?" Evan mumbles, a hand coming up to wipe away at what is definitely drool in the corner of his mouth.

Evan had been napping with his head on Tommy's lap, spread out across the couch in the cabin they're borrowing from a friend of Tommy's for a weekend getaway. They'd spent the last three hours hiking (and maybe some of it making out against a tree) and Evan was still in a bit of a sleep deficit from trying to quickly get all of his stuff moved out of Eddie's house two days ago.

"Nothing, sweetheart," Tommy tells him warmly, his torso curling down towards Evan as he runs a hand through slightly sweaty but impossibly soft curls. "Just texting Chimney."

"Mmmok," Evan says, rolling back into Tommy's stomach and kicking a knee out to stretch farther down the couch. It accentuates his long, long legs which are currently wrapped in hiking shorts that are honestly just sinfully short and leggings; and Tommy is also maybe drooling a little. He's going to let Evan sleep for a little longer, knowing if he lets it go on too long Evan's sleep schedule will be ruined.

But also beacuase Tommy is more than happy to pick up where they left off against the tree; this time in the plush bed waiting for them, with enough time and sunlight leftover to then grill the steaks they had bought for dinner.

Tommy shakes himself out of the daydream that's going to end up disturbing the man impersonating sleeping beauty right over something that will give away exactly what's going through his head and looks at the text conversation again. He sighs. He doesn't think that Howie and the rest of the 118 deserve much right now, but he does sympathize with a woman who just had a baby and who has access to another woman who won't hesitate to launch a manhunt for his boyfriend.

He sighs and pulls up Maddie's phone number, but then thinks of something much funnier.

[TOMMY KINARD]

Image

[TOMMY KINARD]

Oh shit man you'll never guess what I found

[HOWIE HAN]:

Tommy what the FUCK

[firewasabeast]

this is mostly just Eddie and Tommy talking when Eddie comes into town for Bobby's funeral. It's the most pointless fic I think I've ever written. Enjoy!

A knock on the door startled Tommy. He’d been laying down for a couple of hours now, not quite asleep, but not fully conscious either.

He got out of bed quickly, but carefully, and made a beeline for the door before the knocking started up again.

He swung the door open to Eddie on the other side, fist raised and ready to bang on the door again.

“Oh.” Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed as his arm drops back to his side. “Hey, Tommy.”

“Hey, Eddie,” Tommy greeted, moving to the side. “Come in.”

Eddie stepped inside, looking around at how things had changed.

Tommy shut the door, then motioned for Eddie to take a seat on the couch. “Evan said your flight was getting in tomorrow?”

“Uh, yeah, it was, but an earlier flight popped up and I just… wanted to be here, with everyone.”

Tommy nodded, pointing toward the kitchen. “You want something to drink? I’m gonna grab a beer.”

“Sounds good.”

Tommy wasn’t gone long, returning with a beer in each hand. He handed one to Eddie before sitting down at the other end of the couch. “Evan’s asleep,” he informed him. “He hasn’t been resting much lately, but I can wake him if you want.”

“Oh, no. No, I- I know it’s gotta be hell on him right now. Let him sleep.” Eddie twisted the cap off his bottle and took a sip. “What the hell even happened, Man?” he asked, shaking his head. “I heard from Ravi first. He tried telling me what went down, but it sounded like something out of a bad horror movie. Trying to talk to Chim or Hen wasn’t much better, and then Buck’s been… well, I guess you know how Buck’s been.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Tommy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he began. “You know about the virus stuff, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I kinda came in halfway through that emergency. Stole a helicopter-- again. Had a standoff with the FBI and the army. It was all a setup, giving Athena time to find Moira and the anti-viral. We thought…” His voice trailed off. He tapped his finger against the bottle in his hand. “We thought we were trying to save Howie. Thought that we’d, um, that we’d get him and Hen to the hospital and everyone else would be fine. But Bobby...”

“Ravi said he did it to save everyone else; that there would have been four funerals if it weren’t for him.”

Tommy nodded. “A couple minutes,” he said, taking a sip of his beer, “and everything would have been different. Everyone would have been out.”

“Sounds like you’re blaming yourself.”

“Took me too long to get away from the damn FBI.” He shrugged. “It’s not just me though. Everyone trying to stop us, all the obstacles. Two minutes, Eddie. Two minutes and everything would be fine.”

“It’s not fair, Man, but it’s not on you.”

"Mm," Tommy hummed, and Eddie could hear all the words he wasn't saying. “I don’t believe you, but I’m not giving myself time to think about it right now, so let’s let it go.”

There was silence. An awkward lull in the conversation before Eddie broke it.

“So, you’re here,” he noted.

“I’m here.”

“I guess that means you decided to stop being an idiot and get your head out of your ass.”

Tommy huffed out a laugh. ���Well, tell me how you really feel.”

“Sorry, I… I shouldn’t have said that like that.” Eddie ran a hand over his face, rubbing at his eyes. “I haven’t gotten much sleep the last couple days.”

“None of us have.” Tommy quickly drank down half of his beer. “And it’s fine. You’re not wrong.”

“But you two, you… you figured everything out? Got it sorted?”

Tommy stared down at his bottle, watching as it started to sweat. “I apologized for the things I said,” he confirmed, “when we were up in the chopper. He did too. A lot of misunderstandings and, well, me being an idiot.”

“So no more insane ideas about me being competition?”

“Really, really love how you two communicate everything with each other.”

“He didn’t tell me, dumbass. Chimney called last week, caught me up.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Wasn’t trying to.”

Tommy sighed. “Should I apologize to you too then?”

“Eh, I found it kinda funny at the time.”

“Yes, well, Evan did not.”

“Yeah, because he’s in love with you.”

Another sigh. “That’s not-”

“Oh, don’t even start with me. I was there for the baking and moping and the ‘should I call him? I should call him. What if he needs me? What if he’s in trouble? He’s bubbling me, Eddie. Now he stopped. Now he’s bubbling. He stopped. He’s bubbling.’ Over and over again. Thought I’d go insane.”

Tommy squinted. “I don’t know what half of that means."

“It means he loves you, and you clearly love him, and both of you should stop acting like I’m some hurdle standing in your way. I like my ankles the way they are.”

“I’m not-”

“Don’t get me wrong, Buck’s a great friend. Love him like a brother, but we would absolutely kill each other if we lived together for a long weekend, let alone a lifetime. I always need a nap after we hang out for a few hours.”

There was a sudden sharpness in Tommy’s chest. A wave of anger he couldn’t quite place. He quickly shoved it away. Now wasn’t the time.

He set his bottle down, then leaned back into the couch. “I’m not even sure I know exactly what we are. We cleared things up in the helicopter, but we were also trying to evade the army and the FBI, so it’s not like we got to clarify where we stand.”

Eddie stared at him. “But you’re here?”

“I don’t want him to be alone right now.”

Well, I’m assuming you’re not just making yourself at home against Buck’s will.”

“What? Of course not. He asked me to stay, and I wanted to stay anyway, so I’m staying.”

“You two are both exhausting.” Eddie shook his head, “And damn near perfect for each other. Don’t screw it up this time.”

“Eddie-”

“Oh, and by the way, Buck may not have told me the whole ‘he thinks you’re competition’ crap, but he did tell me that I was a child for cutting you off when you guys broke up. See, I thought I was doing the right thing by siding with my best friend. Apparently, there were no sides and I’m a moron.”

“I didn’t really expect you to keep hanging out with me, Eddie. It’s no big deal.”

Eddie scoffed. “Not to you, maybe.”

Tommy shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. “We don’t need to talk about this stuff right now anyway. It doesn’t matter.”

“Really? Because I think it matters more than ever, Tommy. You’re wasting time when you could let yourself be happy instead.”

“Are we fighting right now?” Tommy asked, eyebrows furrowed. “It feels like we’re fighting.”

“We’re not fighting. I’m just trying to stop you from being stupid. I meant it when I said you two were perfect for each other. You’re here, at this house, for a reason, Tommy. You may not wanna believe it, that he loves you, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. Might as well accept it.”

“I don’t-” A shuffling sound coming from the bedroom had Tommy snapping his mouth shut.

“Tommy?” Buck called as he started down the hall. “Wh- Where’d you- Eddie?”

Buck stood at the end of the hall, confused. His looked exhausted, like no amount of sleep would ever be enough. His eyes were red and puffy, hair a mess, and it looked like he hadn’t changed out of his sweats and hoodie in a couple of days.

“Hey, Man,” Eddie said, getting up and walking over to Buck to give him a hug. “You doin’ okay?”

“I…” Buck sighed. “No, not really.”

“I know.” Eddie gave Buck’s shoulders a squeeze before letting him go. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it for days now. Don’t really want to believe it’s real.”

Eddie opted to move to the chair as Buck walked over to Tommy. Tommy reached his hand out for him, and Buck practically fell into his side. “Thought you’d left when I woke up,” he muttered, resting his head on Tommy’s shoulder.

“No. I’m not going anywhere, Evan.” Tommy pressed a kiss to his head. “Eddie got an earlier flight, so we were just talking while you slept.”

“Chris didn’t come?”

Eddie shook his head. “Wanted to, but he’s got finals coming up.”

“What… Where’s your stuff?” Buck asked, lifting his head to look around. “Did you forget to bring a suitcase?”

“Already at the hotel. And,” he added quickly, “before you say anything, my mom had a lot of points about to expire on a credit card, so she told me to use them. I’m good at the hotel.”

Buck nodded, leaning in close to Tommy again. “Spare room’s ready, if you change your mind.”

“Appreciate it.” Eddie glanced down at his watch, taking a breath. “Chim said the whole team is going out tonight for drinks. You two are coming, right?”

“Oh, I- I don’t-”

“Come on. You can’t just stay locked away in here forever. It’ll do you both some good to get out.” Eddie pointed to Tommy, “And don’t you dare try and say you’re not part of the team. You are and if Buck’s coming then so are you.”

Buck looked up at Tommy as he thought it over. Tommy shrugged. “Might be good for us,” he said, thumb brushing up and down over Buck’s shoulder, “like Eddie said.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Just for a little bit.”

“Good.” Eddie stood, clapping his hands together. “I’m gonna head to the hotel to shower and change. I’ll meet you guys there.”

“I think I'll go shower too,” Buck replied, slow to move away from Tommy and stand. “Been moving a little slower than normal lately.”

“Understandable, Man. See ya in a bit.”

They gave each other one more hug before Buck headed back for the bathroom.

Once he heard the door close, Eddie glared over at Tommy. “You ‘don’t know what you are?’”

Tommy got up, walking to the door. “I told you, we haven’t fully talked it out yet.”

“So in the meantime you kiss his head and he snuggles you like you’re two bunny rabbits in a burrow?”

“Oh look.” Tommy reached for the doorknob, motioning with his free hand as he opened it with the other. “You were just leaving.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. When he reached the doorway, he turned back to Tommy. “Tell him you love him, Dude. Stop wasting time.” He reached out, giving Tommy’s shoulder a squeeze. “Take it from me, life’s too short.”

“I, um, I should go check on him.”

“Mhm. Seven o’clock. Be there.”

“We will.” Tommy closed the door, then made his way to the bedroom.

Buck hadn’t quite made it to the bathroom yet. He had some new clothes laid out on the bed, but he was just standing at the window, staring outside.

Tommy leaned against the doorway, thinking over some of the things Eddie had said. That Buck could be tiring, exhausting, and that he’d never be able to live with him.

Tommy couldn’t understand that. Evan was a lot of things, but Tommy had never found him tiring. He loved Evan’s excitement for life. Loved spending as much time with him as possible. Loved… loved him.

He took a deep breath, pushing himself away from the doorframe and walking over to Buck. “You okay?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Buck’s waist.

Buck shook his head. “No. I… the thought of showering made me tired all of a sudden.”

“Why don’t I get it ready?” Tommy offered. “I can get in with you. I’ll even give your head a massage.”

Buck turned in his arms to face him, his eyes wet with tears. “You don’t mind?”

“Of course not, Evan. But, um, before we do that, I… there’s something I need to tell you.”

[alchemistc]

"I am not packing your kitchen, Buck," Maddie says with a hard set to her jaw and a hand planted on her hip, and Evan sends her a warning look over his shoulder, elbow deep in packing tape and half-folded boxes. Tommy is clearly missing something.

"You found the ring cutter in there with the ladles too, huh?" Snipes Eddie from somewhere in the vicinity of the bathroom, and before Tommy can get a firm grasp on that Eddie's tipping his head back through the open doorway. "C'mon guys, seriously, you didn't pack this shit up before you forced us all to help you pack?" There's an unopened tube of lube in his hand.

"I'm getting things off of walls and that is all, Evan Buckley," comes Maddie's quick rejoinder, and Buck levels them both with a look.

"That could be for normal stuff! Sometimes rings need cutting! Sometimes you need to - lubricate other things!"

It is, of course, the moment Bobby wanders through the unlocked door.

Tommy's still familiar with the cadence of Hen and Howie, ribbing and mocking a form of endearment for them both, so he's not exactly shocked when Bobby just rolls with it and starts listing off the last fifteen calls they've needed it for. None of those things particularly improve the red rising up Evan's cheekbones, but Tommy catches the grin Bobby's hiding while he sets boxes of pizza up at the kitchen table, cleared of the latest seasonal decor Evan had dragged him through three different department stores to find, not that he could be bothered to care when the very existence of them was all it took to shift Maddie's opinion of him from tolerantly friendly to encouragingly approving.

("This loft was a minimalists wet dream before you were in the picture," she'd told him one evening, after she'd manipulated him into admitting he was terrified this didn't mean the same thing to Evan as it did to him. "He started nesting a month after my wedding, Tommy.")

And now they're here. Watching Evan pretend to be miffed by the teasing while he fights a roll of packing tape.

He's going to miss the upstairs shower, wide enough for two grown men to fit more than comfortably; and the balcony on cooler nights when he could tempt Evan out for a slow dance set to the late-evening traffic; the kitchen island at the perfect height to lift Evan onto and tilt his head up for an angled kiss.

He won't miss the open plan that makes it impossible to do much of anything with a snoring Eddie right below them, the tuba player two doors down who only seems to practice the moment Tommy's head meets the pillow at the end of any random days-long shift, the way the elevator always smells like tuna on Thursday afternoons.

There are things he won't have to miss, of course. Evan, on nights when they just can't make their schedules align well enough to justify the drive time. The extra fluffy towel set Evan had refused to reveal the origin of ("You'll buy your own and leave me, I know you're only with me for my towels."). The pictures plastered to the fridge that Tommy's spent the last few weeks plotting out space for on his own before deciding he'd need a new fridge just to fit them all. The plant he'd bought Evan to appease the grump, the first time he'd dragged him to the farmers market at the ass crack of dawn, lovingly named Herbert. The fancy adjustable bedside lamps Evan had bought the last time he'd caught Tommy squinting down his reading glasses at the book in his hands. Evan.

Christ, he wouldn't have to miss Evan anymore. They'd synched up their schedules more or less as well as they could, but Tommy's spent months now trying to ignore how quickly a sleepless night could turn restful with Evan in his bed - how fitful a night without him there had a habit of being.

Most of the loft is already packed. Evan's wardrobe has been dwindling for weeks now, a box at a time carted from the back of the Jeep up Tommy's drive, through the mud room, down the hall and straight to the closet that had never seen such a shock of color or variety of fabric. They'd sprung for a bigger mattress, once they'd gotten over the sticker shock and remembered how much they'd be saving by paying half a mortgage each with no rent to speak of, and other than the kitchen table most of Evan's other furniture was being donated.

All that really remained were the kitchen supplies Evan hadn't been willing to move until he handed over his keys, a few toiletries, a single drawer of clothes just in case he needed them. Pictures on the walls and stacks of books on the bookshelves - half a decade of life lived in this apartment and most of it was already half unboxed and slowly integrating into the fifteen years Tommy had put into his own solitary life.

Evan finishes taping boxes and makes a beeline for his itemized list, and Tommy has to pretend it's giving him as much grief as Evan's sister and best friend to see the clipboard in action. He's not entirely sure how well he sells it, when even Bobby's shooting him aggrieved looks only to grimace at whatever he finds in Tommy's expression.

And just like that, an hour passes and the pizza disappears; the boxes are loaded into the back of his truck; the kitchen table in Eddie's; and Maddie tugs her brother in for a hug, drags Tommy in for good measure too, kisses them both on the cheek as she leaves; Bobby tucks a wooden box filled with handwritten recipes on note cards into Evan's hand and Tommy pretends not to notice either of their teary eyes; Eddie hefts a six pack out of the otherwise empty fridge and promises to meet them at the house in forty-five.

There's still one picture stuck to the fridge - a candid from the first barbeque Athena and Bobby had hosted after their move, Tommy and Evan backlit by a setting sun, tucked up against each other leaned against a porch railing, and Tommy knuckles at it while Evan does a slow introspective spin to take in the wide expanse of windows and brick. He's still staring when Evan finishes and drifts towards him, hands tucking in at Tommy's waist, chin hooking over his shoulder.

"Is this one staying?"

Evan shakes his head, nose digging into the side of Tommy's neck. "Just wanted to keep it out so it could be the first one we put up."

He remembers the night. Karen had gotten him drunk and added him to the wives group chat. May Grant had stolen half his slice of cake right off his plate and dared him to protest. Jee had spent the entire night calling him Uncle Tommy and thrown a massive fit when she realized he wasn't going home with her to read a bedtime story. Christopher and Denny had spent half an hour trying to teach him how to play Fortnite and then been mystified when he trounced them in Mario Kart. He knows exactly why it's significant to him. "Why this one?" he asks, curving into the cradle of Evan's arms.

Evan's so much better with words than Tommy is, and Tommy's just grateful Evan takes his actions for the things he means with them. "That's the night I knew what our something was gonna be," Evan murmurs, and Tommy tips his chin back and angles his head to catch Evan's lips against his own.

[princessfbi]

For the shivering prompts: bucktommy + 5 if it inspires anything! 💜

5. "Oh. I didn't notice. I'm... I don't feel very well." + Bucktommy

To be completely honest, Tommy wasn't surprised when he got the call. In fact, he was going to take a lot of joy in telling Evan I told you so at an undetermined date in the near future. Not now. Not when he was already down and out for the count. But soon.

If anyone minded that Tommy double parked in front of the station, no one said. As much as he was fully prepared to give Evan the ultimate I told you so of all I told you so's... There was also an itch beneath his skin that crawled up the back of his neck and wouldn't quit until he could lay eyes on Evan.

“Hey,” Tommy said as he spotted Chimney in the ambulance bay.

“Hey!” Chimney’s eyes lit up as he waved him in. “Thanks for coming. I would’ve called Maddie but she’s on shift.”

The thought of anyone else being where Tommy was standing made something coarse twist in his chest. It was amazing what a few near death experiences and an adorable blue eyed reincarnation of his own personal sun could do to a guy. It was the same firehouse where the mere thought of anyone even hinting at his sexuality would’ve sent Tommy running only a few years earlier. Maybe a few months earlier even. But that had more to do with the intensity of the ache in his chest from all his own deep insecurities prodding at him than being outed.

He fell for Evan Buckley hard and fast and it was terrifying still.

But Tommy wasn’t running. At least not away and he didn’t intend to do so again any time soon.

“Thanks for calling,” Tommy said instead. “I tried to tell him this morning but you know.”

He had. Multiple times. In multiple different versions throughout his house as Evan slugged through his morning routine trying to get to his shift on time.

Chimney snorted as he nodded.

“Buck’s got to Buck.” Chimney popped his gum between his molars as he led Tommy through the station. “Hey, do me a favor. I don’t love the sound of his lungs but there isn’t anything worth sending him to the ER for yet. Just keep any eye out and keep me updated?”

The tedious balance between humor and worry tipped further on the scale as Tommy nodded.

Something must have shown on his face because Chimney waved a hand as if to displace the slinking cobwebs of doubt that had crept into Tommy’s mind.

“I don’t think it’s anything some antibiotics and rest won’t fix. Probably just something he picked up when he fell into the drink last shift.”

Right. The rescue at the pier where their teams had crossed paths assisting the 133. Harbor station hadn’t arrive until after the incident where one victim had panicked and shoved Evan right off the pier giving nearly everyone a heart attack in the process before he resurfaced and held up a thumbs up to them. But Tommy had been able to sneak aside his wet pouting boyfriend shivering beneath a rescue blanket for a quick kiss to try and make it better.

Evan had said he was fine. He’d said that Hen and Chimney had looked him over and then Eddie after their shift had ended. He’d said he was fine.

A pit opened up in Tommy’s stomach as he stepped in to the bunk room and spotted him in the corner.

Evan’s long legs were curled up tight to his chest beneath a blanket that was still too small for his long frame. The fanning of his eyelashes shadowed against his pale face, splotchy with pink from the fever that was raging through his body and the thinnest wheeze whistled past his lips on his every exhale.

“Thanks Howie,” Tommy said quietly. “I’ll keep you posted.”

“Let me know if you need help getting him to the truck.” Chimney said in parting before he closed the door behind him.

Tommy sucked on his cheek as he stepped over to Evan’s bunk and bent down sit on the bed. Evan barely stirred, only curling into Tommy like he was the only source of warmth he knew even subconsciously.

“Evan,” Tommy said softly, sweeping his fingers through loose curls. “Time to wake up sleepy head.”

Evan’s face scrunched in annoyance before he tried to burrow away in the blankets his fist had pulled up to his nose.

“Hey,” Tommy said and tried not to frown at the harsher wheeze that fell from Evan’s lips as he exhaled. “C’mon baby.”

The full body trembling only seemed to rocket up in frequency as a bleary eye opened into a slit to stare up at him.

“Hey you.” Tommy smiled and settled his hand on Evan’s scalp, rubbing his thumb in circles at his temples.

“T-my?” Evan croaked before a congested cough rattled its way up through his chest. “Mm’Doing here?”

“Taking you home.”

A frown twisted on Evan’s pink plump lips. “I still got a shift.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said with a shake of his head. “That shipped sailed a while ago. Your teeth are chattering, babe.”

The mention of his trembling only seemed to make them worse and Tommy already regretted not bringing in his hoodie from the truck.

“Oh. I didn't notice. I'm...” Evan rolled his lips together like he didn’t know how to use them anymore. The fever blazing off him was already sending Tommy’s blood pressure through the roof. He didn’t think anything else could pierce through the armor surrounding his chest cavity until watery, tired, vulnerable blue eyes stared up at him in dawning defeat. “I don't feel very well."

Tommy pushed back his hair and leaned down to press a kiss to his temple. “I know. But I’m here to take you home now.”

Evan groaned as he tried to curl into Tommy like he could shield him from the rest of the world. God, only knew how hard he tried to do just that sometimes.

“Don’t think I can walk that far.” It was a quiet confession. One that was blanketed with humor to hide the vulnerability beneath it.

Tommy heard it anyway.

“‘S okay,” Tommy said. “I can carry you.”

He back wouldn’t thank him. Not for the distance it would take to get Evan from the bunk room to his truck. But he’d do it.

And Buck smiled, small and tired, but a smile all the same.

“C’mon,” Tommy said. “Let’s get you home.”

[loucifersbitch]

Fifth of All

Late one night, Tommy receives a text from Howie.

> buck in hospital. might not make it <

And that's the whole message. He doesn't elaborate beyond that or pick up when Tommy calls. So Tommy grabs his jacket and keys and sprints to his truck, hoping it's the same hospital as always.

He flies through the bay doors, not really remembering the drive, but he'll accept any tickets as long as he's here in time.

The nurse behind the desk is on the phone, but when she notices the slightly wild look in Tommy's eyes, she puts the call on hold long enough to direct him to Evan's room.

He tries not to run, but he can't deny that he jogs down one hallway, then the next two, before he comes to a stop outside the closed door.

It hits him then. He could lose Buck. He could lose Evan. Howie had warned him, said he might not make it.

Tommy feels sick.

He raises a fist to knock, but before he makes contact, the door swings open, a burst of noise and laughter hitting Tommy. Howie almost walks right into him before stumbling back, looking perplexed.

"Tommy? What are you doing here? What...?" he trails off.

Tommy looks around the hospital room and sees nearly everyone he hasn't spoken to since the breakup. Maddie's right behind Howie, Hen is in a chair off to one side, and Eddie is next to Bobby on the other. They're all clearly having a fun time, their laughter only fading when they notice Tommy and confusion takes over. It's not the sorrowful mourning Tommy had been expecting.

On the bed, Evan sits with his leg in an air cast, one arm in a sling, and various scrapes and cuts that Tommy can see on his face and arms. He's not exactly near death.

"'Buck in hospital. Might not make it.' Really, Howie?" he asks, staring down at wide, worried eyes.

"'Might not -" Howie scoffs, realization softening his features. "Tommy, I meant I might not make it to the karaoke bar tomorrow night. Gotta take care of the unlucky man-baby in the hospital bed over there."

"I'm not a 'man-baby,' Chim," Evan says, rolling his eyes. "I can take care of myself."

"Yeah," Bobby interrupts, "took care of yourself so well that you fell off a ladder today."

"I slipped!"

"You fell on a glass coffee table," Eddie says.

"Where you dislocated your shoulder and sprained your ankle and got a concussion," Hen adds.

"I'm fine," he insists. "Just need someone to drive me home when I'm released, and I can take care of the rest from there."

Tommy doesn't roll his eyes at Evan's petulant tone, but it's a near thing.

"I can help."

Six sets of eyes turn to him.

"We couldn't ask you to do that, Tommy," Maddie says softly.

There's a crinkle between her eyebrows that makes her look like she's trying to solve some puzzle. And in this case, the puzzle is Tommy.

"You're not asking," he answers just as softly. Then he asks everyone, "Can Evan and I talk for a few minutes?"

They all glance at Evan like they're waiting for his permission.

"It's fine, guys. Go get some coffee or something."

They all file out, Tommy standing out of the way as much as he can while everyone pats his shoulder or shakes his hand or — smacks him upside the head.

"I deserve that," he says, rubbing the sting where Hen's hand had connected with his skull.

"And more," she says seriously. "If you break him again, I swear to God I -"

"Okay, let's go," Eddie says, shoving her down the hall and away from striking range of Tommy. "We can save the threats for the next time he screws up. I'll help you take him down," he tells her with a smirk.

Tommy knows it's a joke, but it's also not a joke. He doesn't want to screw this up again either.

He steps into the room, closing the door behind himself. He stands near the foot of the bed, unsure if he'll be welcome any closer. Evan simply stares at him, waiting.

"So first of all, I'm sorry. Let's get that out of the way. And second of all," he takes one step closer, "I'm blocking Howie's number."

Evan snorts, but doesn't say anything. Tommy takes another step.

"Third of all, I'd really like to take care of you while you recover. If you'll let me."

"You don't need to do that."

"I know. I want to."

"I don't want you to do this because you feel obligated or like you owe me or whatever," Evan says, a little sad.

Tommy takes one final step that places him next to Evan's uninjured side.

"I have a lot of vacation time saved up. I'd like to spend it with you," he shrugs.

Evan looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn't. Instead, he nods, accepting Tommy's help.

"Fourth of all, I want you to stay at my house." He holds up a hand before Evan can protest. "You don't need to be worrying about stairs or trying to sleep on your couch once the shoulder heals. Plus, my kitchen is better."

"Okay, fine," Evan concedes. "What's fifth of all?"

"Fifth of all," he says, finally sitting in the chair at Evan's bedside, "please don't ever die."

That surprises a laugh out of Evan.

"What? That's not something I can promise."

"Then at least make sure I die first."

"Tommy," Evan says, concerned, "you know I can't promise any of that. What's going on?"

"I -" he clears his throat when his voice breaks, "I lost you once. And I know I owe you an explanation for everything. But today I thought I might lose you for good, and — I can't do it again. I can't take the thought of losing you forever."

"Tommy -"

"I love you."

Evan's mouth snaps shut.

"And I don't expect you to say it back - now or ever - but I need you to know that one more person out there loves you. So please, at least try not to die while I'm still alive, okay?"

It takes a moment for Evan's expression to shift from shock to understanding.

"Okay, I can try."

"Good. That's - that's good. Thanks."

Evan holds out his hand, wiggling his fingers until Tommy laces his own through. He can feel the adrenaline crash hitting him.

"So does this mean you want to try again?" Evan asks.

"If you'll give me another chance, I'd like to try keeping you. And we can call this a trial run for living together. Although I don't want to move too fast for you."

"If anything, I think I moved too fast for you," Evan smiles. "Maybe this time instead of moving at my pace or your pace, we can move at our pace."

"Have I ever told you how much I love the way your brain works?"

Evan squeezes his hand.

"Once or twice I think."

"Is that all? That's not nearly enough."

It's easy to fall back into this thing with Evan. They talk until the 118 crew and Maddie return, and then they all talk some more. Tommy takes his fair share of gentle ribbing, but with Evan's hand in his own, it's not so bad.

The next morning, Tommy gets to take Evan home. They've gone over all of the discharge forms and orders from the doctor, and they pick up two prescriptions from the pharmacy on their way.

As Tommy helps Evan get settled in the recliner, Evan says, "I love you, too, y'know."

Tommy barely falters where he's fluffing the pillow against Evan's back.

"You really are on a lot of painkillers."

"Tommy," Evan says seriously, the hand of his good arm clutching Tommy's wrist before he can pull away, "I love you. I never stopped. I don't know if I ever could."

It's the simplest thing to lean down and press his lips to Evan's. It's less simple to allow himself to accept what Evan said. Not because he doesn't believe Evan means it, but because he doesn't know if he'll ever deserve it.

"What do you want to eat? I think we'll order in, so pick whatever. Thai? Chinese? Sushi? There's that new Ethiopian place two streets over."

"Delivery is so expensive, Tommy."

"I'm on vacation," he shrugs. "And maybe I wanna splurge on some food for you."

"Well, first of all -"

"Don't start."

[harmless-variety-of-garden-snake]

Can i get a bucktommy kiss nr.17 to distract, please 😘

Tommy's life used to be a lot simpler before he got tangled up with the 118 again. He'd had a few years of relative normalcy and quiet, and then Howie had called him asking to fly into a hurricane and nothing had been simple since then. He'd looked into a pair of blue eyes and his entire life had turned into one long series of complications.

For example, he used to just be able to give exes a birthday present and be done with the whole thing, but this is Evan. Evan, who takes care of everyone without expecting anything in return, who looked Tommy in the eye one day and told him he loved him and asked that he please stop running from that. Evan, who is turning 35 but trying to not make a big deal about it, because his birthday has rarely been a big deal, and so Tommy wants to throw him a surprise party.

Evan, who is home an hour early.

He meets him in the driveway with what is hopefully an apologetic smile and an excuse that he forgot to ask him to pick up some stuff at Home Depot for the gazebo they're building over the next few weeks.

"Do you want to go later?" Evan asks, and Tommy sees his eyes shift almost over his shoulder and realizes that someone might be looking through the curtains.

Thinking fast, he grabs Evan and kisses him, whirling them around so Evan's back is against the tailgate of the truck and facing away from the house. His boyfriend makes a soft noise against his mouth, and Tommy almost forgets why he's doing this in the first place. When he breaks the kiss, he feels dazed for a moment, and Evan is doing that thing where he licks his lips and tips his head down and looks at him through his lashes.

What was Tommy doing?

He sees the flick of a curtain out of the corner of his eye and remembers.

"So, definitely later?" Evan teases, his fingers curling in the space between the top buttons of Tommy's shirt.

"N-no, we should go now," Tommy says, even though he wants nothing less than to have to go out in public and pretend he doesn't want to be somewhere with Evan wrapped around him.

"You sure?" Evan asks, leaning in to nip at his bottom lip and then his chin.

Tommy is not God's strongest soldier, but there are a half dozen people in his house setting up a party. He can't ask them all to leave for a quickie. There's food in the oven, there's streamers being set up.

"Unfortunately, yes," he says, nuzzling Evan's neck and flipping off a cackling Howie in the front window of the house.

As he gets into the truck, he texts Maddie so she can take over the rest of the set-up.

Maddie

Got it! Chimney says to tell you your distraction technique sucks. I'm sure you did your best 😊

Tommy feels Evan squeeze the inside of his thigh as they back out of the driveway and sighs.

Maybe they can find a dimly lit parking garage near Home Depot. That'll keep them from the house for a while.

-

Later, when Evan looks properly surprised and looks at Tommy with a sunny smile and teary eyes, Tommy thanks Maddie profusely for taking over in his absence.

"The extra half hour you bought us really helped," she says, patting his back. "Also, you might want to put something on that rash."

He claps a hand over the stubble burn on his neck. "Is it that bad?"

"You look like you got wiped down with sandpaper," Howie adds unhelpfully. "Good trip to Home Depot? Saw that the truck bed was empty."

"They were out of wood," Tommy lies, squirming past the two smirking Hans.

"Oh, I'm sure there was plenty of wood!" Howie calls at his back, and Tommy hears the distant sound of a high five.

[clairobscured]

Buck doesn't tell Maddie about the break-up until 2 days later. he's sat at her dining room table, clutching a cup of coffee between his hands while he tells her about what happened. he doesn't look at his sister the entire time he talks, doesn't want to see the pity on her face. he ignores the tears as they slide down his cheeks, dripping down off his chin onto the sleeves of the hoodie he'd thrown on before coming over. when his story has finally run its course, they both remain quiet for a moment and Buck's thankful Jee's playing in the living room because the sounds of her talking to her dolls drown out his quiet sob when Maddie removes the cup from the death grip he has on it. she grabs on tightly to both of his hands, and it's then that Buck realizes that he's shaking. he thinks he's been shaking since Tommy walked out of his life.

it's the next evening when someone knocks on his door. Buck's heart is in his throat as he walks over to answer it, feels his stomach swoop in both relief and disappointment when he sees it's his sister and niece. Jee pushes past him into the apartment like she owns the place, and Buck watches her go before turning back to see Maddie holding up a reusable bag. "After you left, she asked if you were okay. I told her you were sad because someone you cared about wasn't going to be around anymore. So she insisted we come over so she could make you cookies." Maddie's eyes sparkle as she smiles at him then over at her daughter. "Howie always makes sugar cookies when either of us is sad. So Jee said she had to do that for you, too." The lump that's taken residence in his throat makes it impossible to speak as he takes the bag from his sister, who squeezes his arm. "Have some fun with your niece tonight. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call. I'll pick her up in the morning."

and that's how Buck finds himself tossing his apron on before helping Jee-Yun into the kids' size one he keeps around just for her. they get the ingredients out of the bag, Buck pulls out his mixer, and they make a tupperware full of chocolate chip cookies and then one of sugar cookies. Jee laughs when he dabs some flour on her nose. Buck laughs when she smiles at him, face covered in melted chocolate. when everything's cleaned up and Jee's been tucked in upstairs in his bed for the night, Buck is standing in the kitchen putting the rest of the cookies away when realizes his hands are steady as he snaps the lid shut. his knees wobble, and he sits down hard on the last stool at the island, the same one Tommy sat in before he broke Buck's heart and cries the hardest he has in days.

[no-goodbyes-no-regrets]

If you’re still taking prompts, Tommy spending time with Maddie?

Oh I like this!

----

"At least this time it was planned." Maddie offered

"Yeah... And the nurse did say everything is going according to plan earlier."

"But you still worry."

"Yeah." Tommy chuckled. "I convinced him to get it done now so he'd be back on his feet by the time the little one starts walking."

Maddie smiled and rubbed her pregnant belly.

"Yeah I think he is looking forward to meeting his family. He's about to walk right out of there in a minute. Jee wasn't this restless."

"I guess he takes after his father then. I've never known Howie to be calm and relaxed." Tommy commented "Well... off the clock at least." he added after a beat and they both laughed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking bad hospital coffee and Tommy's eyes fixed on the door.

"What about you two?" Maddie asked.

"Hmm?"

Tommy reluctantly tore his eyes away from the door and looked at her.

"One of these." she gestured at her belly.

"I don't think either of us is at risk of getting pregnant any time soon." Tommy deadpanned and laughed when Maddie slapped his bicep.

"You know what I mean. Am I going to be an aunt any time soon?"

Tommy sat up straighter and played with the lid of his coffee cup.

"We've talked about it. Marriage, kids... the whole nine yards... and we want the same things..."

"But..." Maddie prompted.

"But... not just yet." Tommy shook his head. "We've only been back together about six months. And the last time we rushed into things it didn't go so well. So one step at a time for now."

"Isn't he moving in with you when he's discharged?"

"Yeah but that's because he's going to need a lot of help. Especially the first few months. And those stairs in the loft are lethal."

"He managed before..."

"Maybe. But he doesn't have to anymore now. I have a bedroom and a bathroom on the ground floor at my place and the stairs aren't so damn steep, he can easily manage them with crutches if needed."

Suddenly the door opened and one of the doctors walked up to them.

"Evan Buckley's family?"

Tommy was on his feet in seconds.

"That's right. How is he?"

The doctor gave him a tired smile.

"The operation was a success. No complications. Straight out of the medical text books."

"So he's ok?"

"He has a long road to recovery ahead of him, but I don't see why he shouldn't make a full recovery in due time." The doctor told them. "He'll still be asleep for a while, but one of the nurses will come get you when they've gotten him settled back in, in his room and you can sit with him."

Tommy let out a sigh of relief while Maddie thanked the doctor before they left the two of them to it again.

"He's ok." Maddie said, slipping her arm through Tommy's. "He's ok."

About ten minutes later a nurse came to get them and took them to Buck's room. He was still fast asleep but apart from a pulse oximeter on his finger and a cast on his leg, he looked just like he would on a regular day at home.

Tommy sat down next to the bed and softly brushed the curls off his forehead, while Maddie sat down on the other side and held Buck's hand in hers.

"You know he always hated that?"

"Hated what?"

"His curls. People playing with them." Maddie explained. "I used to do it when he was little but when he got old enough to pick his own hairstyle, the curls were gone and everyone was forbidden to touch his hair. I think I still have some pictures of when he gave himself a haircut when he was about 12 or 13."

Tommy grinned.

"If you can still find them, I'd love to see them."

"I'll get Howie to look for them." Maddie promised. "But what I'm trying to say is... he's changed since he met you. For the better."

"I did tell him I liked the curls once... He hadn't had time to get a haircut in a while and his hair was getting longer and the curls just made him look... soft." Tommy smiled, running his hands through Buck's hair.

Maddie smiled.

"Not just the hairstyle. Or wearing clothes in his actual size instead of at least two sizes too small." She laughed. "But he's... more comfortable in his own skin. He's content. Happy in a way I've never seen him before. And that's down to you."

"I don't know about that..." Tommy ducked his head.

"I do." Maddie insisted. "You're good for him. You're good for each other."

Buck began to stir and groaned as he opened his eyes. He rolled his head to the side and smiled when he saw Tommy.

"Hey you." Tommy said and got up to press a kiss to the top of his head. "Welcome back. How are you feeling?"

"Hmokay... better when the room stops spinning... and there's only one of you. is my leg still there?" he reached out to touch his leg and then realised someone was holding his hand. He turned his head and saw his sister. "Maddie!" he said happily, like he hadn't seen her in years.

"Hi." she giggled and squeezed his hand. "They've got you on the good stuff, huh."

"They fixed my leg." he explained. "Tommy said I should do it now. For the baby." He frowned. "Not our baby." He turned his head back to the other side to look at Tommy. "You're not having a baby... right?"

Tommy bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.

"No, no I'm not. But your sister is."

Buck turned back to Maddie.

"You're having a baby?" he asked, and then noticed her pregnant belly. "You're having a baby! Wait... i-is that Tommy's baby?"

"What? No!" Maddie said and both her and Tommy burst out laughing. "I don't think I'm really his type."

"Yeah, sorry, I prefer the other Buckley." Tommy said laughingly.

Buck frowned.

"Who?"

"You." Tommy told him and softly kissed him. "I'm going to get a nurse. Let them know you're awake. I'll be right back." He got up and left the room with Buck looking at him with a dopey smile that wasn't just the anaesthetic.

"I love him." Buck declared, still looking at the door.

Maddie smiled and gave his hand another squeeze.

"I know. He loves you too."

"Yeah? Yeah!" Buck replied answering his own question. "I'm going to marry him. I have a ring." he said, just as Tommy came back in with a nurse.

"Hello mister Buckley, glad to see you awake." the nurse told him as she quickly checked him over. "The operation went well, and you should be able to go home in a few days."

Buck nodded and turned to Maddie.

"You need to call Eddie for me. He has the ring. I need it... for Tommy. I'm going to marry him."

"I'll call him." Maddie promised. sharing a look with Tommy over the bed.

"Good. I'm just... sleep..." Buck mumbled as he started to drift off again.

"He probably won't remember this conversation when he wakes up again." the nurse told them. "I'm guessing you're Eddie?" she asked Tommy who shook his head.

"I'm Tommy. And I guess I better start working on my surprised face."

---

send me a prompt and I'll write you a fic(let)!

[beanarie]

not a shovel talk: a coda for 7.06 there goes the groom

Tommy covered his baffled reaction to the name on his phone by opening with, "This is Tommy Kinard. We worked together for over a decade. You're a paramedic with LA Fire and Rescue."

Howie coughed on a spurt of laughter. "God, that's not funny. Shut up."

Tommy grinned, almost asking him to identify street signs, but the joke could only go so far. "Shouldn't you be resting?"

"I've been in bed for the last two weeks," Howie retorted.

"It's been four days."

"Has it?" Howie groused. "Or are you gaslighting me again?"

"Literally everything I said was true. Are you okay?"

"I'm so bored, man. My wife-" He cut himself off, and when he started again, the smile was clear in his voice. "My wife left to take a nap at home, so I'm..."

"Alone for the first time since this debacle began. And you thought of me? I'm touched."

"Don't be too flattered. Everyone I would normally yap at has already been here."

"I was there," Tommy pointed out.

"Oh, I remember," Howie said, and there it was, out in the open.

At least he hadn't beat around the bush for too long.

"My own brother-in-law," Howie went on. Even as Tommy geared himself up, it was sweet how Howie kept testing out the new terminology, rolling it around on his tongue.

"Yep." Tommy lightly drummed his fingers on the table. "Your fully adult brother-in-law with the ability to make his own decisions."

"Whoa, hey. Gloves down, Rocky Balboa. I know that. I just-" He sighed. "Wanted to prepare you."

Tommy frowned. "For?"

"The vibe. Everything Gerrard's house wasn't, Bobby's house is, and vice versa."

"Shocking as it may seem, I don't get many crews banging down my door to rescue their captain and his wife on vacation in the Pacific. During a hurricane."

"Yeah? I figured it was like a monthly thing."

Tommy sideyed the phone.

Howie sighed to himself. "Look, we show up for each other in ways most people don't. It's basically a reflex at this point."

"And this is you showing up for him."

"No. Quit projecting, dammit. For you, you obtuse ass."

"Oh."

"We're... a lot. Just be ready for a lot."

Tommy didn't know what to do with this, but rejecting it out of hand seemed like a dumb play. "You don't intend to be a lot?"

"My brain is swollen, Tom. I don't have the energy. And my wife likes it when her little brother is happy. I mean, we all do, but-"

"She's your wife."

"Yeah," Howie said, thrilled, almost disbelieving. "She is."

[leashybebes]

several sentence smonday

rather belated, but i was tagged by @bidisasterevankinard, @trombonechurchill, @powersuitup and @setmeatopthepyre over the last couple days. thanks, fam!

allying chapter 8 is like pulling teeth but! progress of a sort! mostly in connecting bits of dialogue i wrote last month, but i'll take it

"So I was thinking," Tommy says. "Howie - uh, Chim - he called me the other day. Just checking in, you know?"

"He did? That's cool! I didn't know if like…if you guys were close or whatever."

"Just…work friends, really," Tommy says. "But he did suggest we should get together for a beer. That I should meet the new probie."

"No way, really?"

Tommy laughs. "He said I oughta know the mess I'd left them in."

"Oh…"

"Evan," Tommy says gently. "He was kidding. He likes you."

"Oh! Okay, cool."

"So, drinks? Chim suggested after your shift next Thursday?"

"Yeah? That'd be awesome! Wait…he doesn't know we know each other, and I swear I didn't say anything about you, but I did say that I had a friend who hadn't been out long, so."

"That's okay," Tommy says after a brief pause. "I think - I want to tell them anyway."

Buck blinks. "Yeah?" He's not going to complain, but it seems…sudden.

"Yeah. Everyone at work knows, and the LAFD, it's…kind of a gossip mill anyway," Tommy says. "I don't want them to find out from someone else and think it was a them problem."

"I get that," Buck says. "And hey, maybe after drinks we can go to a club, or go back to your place?"

"Oh," Tommy says, and there's a staticky silence over the phone for a few, long seconds. "I'm kinda…seeing somebody."

Oh. Huh.

call it an open tag if you have something to share i have lost track of what day it is and i either need to book a massage, sleep for a week, or be stretched on a rack and given other constraints, i must go to bed.

[kinardsevan]

the future haunts the memories

maybe, someday, love - part 3 cw: hospitalization, helicopter crash, related injuries; word count: 2203, total wc: 5467 (so i guess we're just gonna keep going here)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Tommy’s gaze on the three men makes it clear that they’re not going to get away with just walking away and leaving him to rest, so after more than enough time to contemplate—and quietly bicker—over who’s going in and what they’re going to say, all three men enter the room. 

Tommy lifts a bandaged hand to the mask on his face and pulls it down, inhaling and exhaling in ragged, noisy breaths. How he and Evan managed to survive a helicopter crash that resulted in multiple severe injuries and smoke inhalation from the inevitable fire that the crash still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, and yet.

“Where’s Evan?” 

Chimney, Bobby, and Sal all exchange a look, none wanting to speak first. 

“T, you literally just woke up-..” 

“And I want to know where Evan is,” Tommy growls at Sal, wincing at the pain in his throat. He tries to push up on the bed, but Chimney and Sal are both at his sides quickly, pushing him back down lightly by his shoulders. 

“Hey man, you have a chest tube. You can’t just go climbing out of here,” Chimney states. 

Tommy glances up at him, briefly shooting a glare at Sal when the other man moves the oxygen mask back over Tommy’s face. He inhales several breaths before moving it again. 

“Where is Evan, Howie?” 

“Do you remember what happened,” Bobby interjects. 

“I remember being in the helicopter,” Tommy answers. “With Evan.” 

Chimney glances over at Bobby, and they both look over at Sal, who is all but glaring at them to keep their mouths shut. 

“He’s downstairs,” Chimney comments after a few more seconds. “Doctors are watching him like a hawk.” 

“So he’s okay,” Tommy comments, half a question and half a statement. He exhales heavily and closes his eyes. “Good.” 

“Just rest for a while, Tommy,” Sal tells him. “You can see the kid later.” 

Tommy doesn’t answer him, but the rhythmic beeping of the monitors and the steady rise and fall of his chest make it clear that he’s resting. Sal looks back at them and jerks his head toward the door. 

When they’re outside the room once more, he pulls the door shut and moves far enough away that Tommy won’t be able to see them through the window. 

“What the hell, Howard,” Sal growls. Chimney lifts his hands in offense. 

“What? You didn’t want us to tell him the truth, and we had to tell him something,” he argues. “Besides. He can’t get out of that bed right now, so let him believe that things are okay. He’s going to know the truth eventually.” 

Sal still glares at him, but he doesn’t argue further. 

“Tell the rest of them to be careful now that he’s awake,” he states after a few seconds. “If he sees you all over there, he’s going to figure it out.” 

. . . 

They manage to keep it quiet for almost twelve hours. In the end, it isn’t any one of them saying or doing anything. A nurse comes through with the portable x-ray to check in on the progress of the tube in Tommy’s chest. In the process of shuffling in and out, he sees Maddie and Chimney across the ICU, Maddie clearly emotional. 

“W-what’s happening over there,” Tommy stammers at the nurse when she comes back in for the machine. 

She glances over across the hall and then back at him. 

“Rough situation,” she comments. “I’ve seen some of them over here. You know the other guy?” 

Tommy pushes up on the bed, his eyes widening as he tugs the oxygen mask off of his face. “What do you mean do I know him? E-Evan?” 

She looks down at him, and the way panic flashes through her expression and then instantly disappears tells him everything he needs to know. Still, the heart monitor gives him away too as his heartbeat speeds up. 

“Mr. Kinard, I need you to remain calm-..” 

“I need to know what’s going on with him,” he argues, trying to push up off the bed. She tries to get him back down, but while he’s not anywhere near full strength, the past few hours have given him back at least a little of it, because he tries to fight her anyway and get up. 

“Mr. Kinard-..” 

Seconds later, Chimney and Sal rush through the doorway, and he glares at them. 

“Why the fuck would you lie to me about Evan,” he growls. The two men exchange a glance as Tommy huffs through his nose audibly. 

“I can fucking see you out there, Howie,” he continues. “A-and Maddie. He’s over there, isn’t he?” 

“Tommy-..” “T-..” 

“Let me talk to him.” 

They all turn toward the door as Maddie steps into it. Sal looks at her with something akin to a concerned expression because even though he doesn’t know her, he understands the gravity. Chimney, on the other hand, is immediately moving toward her, trying to change her mind. 

“Maddie, it-..” 

“It should be me,” she tells him, her voice wavering. She dares a glance at Tommy before looking back at her husband. “I’m the one who asked him to wake up.” 

Skepticism passes over both men’s faces, but eventually they agree, and they exit the room. The nurse follows closely behind them, insisting that Tommy stay in the bed. Although it’s clear he’s on the fence about that option, he doesn’t argue. 

Maddie moves to the chair beside the bed and Tommy keeps his gaze on her, looking less than pleased, even though the worry in his eyes does nothing to dissipate. 

“He is across the hall,” she confirms to him. “They still have him under sedation because he’s had multiple seizures from a brain bleed that they keep saying will clear up on its own, but it’s not critical enough to do surgery on yet.” 

“B-brain bleed,” Tommy stammers. 

Maddie looks up at him tearfully. “H-he’s alive. But…” She gulps, and he doesn’t need her to finish the sentence. 

“I should’ve taken us into the mountain,” Tommy rasps. 

Maddie glares at him, her eyes widening. 

“No,” she argues, shaking her head. “Th-they said you both would’ve died if you had done that. The trees helped cushion the crash.” She pauses for a moment and lets out a humorless laugh. “However that was supposed to work out.” 

Tommy pushes up as best he can on the side of the bed, leaning towards her. 

“Maddie, if he doesn’t-..” 

“We’re not going there right now,” she tells him, reaching out for his hand on the bed. “He’s going to wake up. He has to.” 

Tommy shakes his head, his eyes burning as she squeezes his hand. He swallows past the knot in his throat. “It should’ve been me.” 

She glares at him again. “Don’t you ever say that. Evan is so in love with you.” 

“And he’s the one fighting for his life right now,” Tommy counters, his own voice tight. “I’m-..” 

“Here by the skin of your teeth,” Maddie counters. “Or did you miss the chest tube, the busted clavicle, six broken ribs? Not to mention all of the stitches and the fact that you’re down a few organs.” 

Tommy doesn’t argue with her. There’s something in her tone—Evan mentioned it a few times in the past, most notably when he’d come down with the flu late in the summer. He’d been determined to keep showing up to work because Gerrard was making everyone miserable and he was concerned he’d get fired, but Maddie had been all over him to take care of himself and get the rest he needed, and while Tommy hadn’t experienced her mothering tone personally, he’d heard it through the phone, and he knew there was no fighting her on the subject. 

“I need to see him,” Tommy states after a few moments. “I…I need-..” 

“i’ll see what I can manage,” Maddie responds after a few moments. 

. . . 

It takes almost twelve more hours, but there are examinations and discussions required, and the removal of Tommy’s chest tube all before he can move from his hospital bed. As it is, the doctors are less than enthused at the idea of him moving from his bed, given that it’s the ICU, but the fact that he’s not leaving the ward does work in his favor. 

When Sal arrives in the room with a wheelchair, Tommy all but clamors out of the bed, shoving away Sal and the nurse’s hands when they try to help him up. Still, once he’s on his feet, he’s required to take their assistance in lieu of falling on his face. 

“Only across the hall,” the nurse warns as she stares down at him with her best stern look. Tommy nods with a weary breath, although he’s not going to let on his own exhaustion just at the little bit of movement. Evan needs him, and he needs to see Evan. 

Sal pushes the chair out of the room after the nurse drapes a blanket over Tommy’s lap and shuffles them across the space, past the nurses station. When they reach Evan’s room, he knocks twice, and a moment later, the door opens to Bobby. He gazes at them both briefly, clearly having his own skepticism at Tommy being out of bed, but after a few seconds, he steps aside. 

“I’m going to get coffee,” he tells them.

Sal pushes the wheelchair right up to the bed, although Tommy’s vision is already blurring by the time they cross the threshold into the room. He aches in at least half a dozen different places on his body, but he needs to be here more than he needs to be in a hospital bed. 

“I think I’ll join the mook for coffee,” Sal tells him before patting gently on his good shoulder. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

Tommy nods, reaching up for Evan’s hand on the bed. Once the door has shut behind Sal, he focuses his attention entirely on Evan. 

He’s surrounded by monitors, with leads all over his body and head. He can see the machine tracking Evan’s intracranial pressure, hear the steady rhythm of the ventilator he’s still attached to, and the constant drone of his heartbeat from the ECG. 

“Hi baby,” he rasps, squeezing Evan’s fingers. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I-…” He pauses, his chest shaking with the weight of each breath. “You have to wake up, okay? I need-…we have to say it properly. Not in an argument, n-not in the middle of a flight where I can’t focus on you. You have to wake up s-so you can tell me again properly, and I can say it back.” 

There’s no miracle reaction, no sudden squeeze of his hand. Evan’s eyes don’t flutter, and the heart monitor doesn’t suddenly pick up speed. Even though all of that had been explained to Tommy before he’d even been allowed to make the trip across the hall, it’s gutting to him. 

He lifts Evan’s hand to his mouth and kisses his fingers, forcing deep breaths down as he closes his eyes against the warm tears that run down his face. 

“I love you so much, Evan,” he rasps, his throat tight. “I need to have more than just one utterance of it and six months of…” He pauses and shakes his head. There aren’t words to describe the way he spent th first six months of their relationship, constantly teetering between falling in love and trying not to let himself give in to those feelings so he wouldn’t get hurt. Granted, that didn’t get him very far in the end, anyway. “Of learning each other, I guess. Baby I need years. Decades, even.” 

The heart monitor continues it’s rhythmic drone and he blinks away more tears, holding the back of Evan’s hand to his mouth once more. 

When Sal and Bobby arrive back some ten minutes later, there’s no way for Tommy to hide the exhaustion of obvious pain he’s in, being upright in the wheelchair. His eyes are drooping against the drip of the medication in his IV line. 

“T, we gotta get you back to bed,” Sal tells him when the other man’s head jerks up at the slightest movement of his wheelchair. Tommy grumbles unintelligibly to him, and Sal looks over at Bobby and then back at him. “Your blood pressure is through the roof right now. You can’t lie about being in pain.” 

“Evan,” Tommy rasps back, still holding onto the younger man’s hand. 

“You can come back in a little while,” Sal tells him. 

“We’ll keep you informed of any changes,” Bobby adds. 

Tommy grumbles again, but he’s too tired and weak to fight when Sal keeps moving the chair, eventually being forced to drop Evan’s hand. Three minutes later with the help of several nurses, he’s shuffled back into his hospital bed, and gratefully cheerful to the one who administers more medication to his line as he tries to keep fighting his eyes closing. 

“Love him,” he mutters, his words slurring as his head dips into the curve of his pillow. 

“I know, buddy,” Sal tells him. “We all know.” 

[firewasabeast]

Having Your Baby

There's no mpreg in here, just pregnancy jokes between buck and tommy.

“Mm,” Buck hummed, sleepy and sated as he draped his leg over Tommy’s. He gave him a little bite on the shoulder. “You can never leave now.”

Tommy looked over at him, curious expression on his face. “What are you talking about?” They’d gotten back together a few weeks ago. Everything had been going great. They had discussed all their issues and become an even stronger couple than before. Tommy had no intention of leaving.

Buck sighed softly, eyes already closing. “I’m pretty sure you just got me pregnant.”

That was the night Tommy nearly rolled right out of bed with the force of his laughter. It was also the night their inside joke began.

*****

It could happen at any moment, for any reason.

Nothing was off limits.

“I think I should get the last bite,” Tommy said, staring down at the remaining spoonful of chocolate cake.

“You got the last bite last time,” Buck argued, batting Tommy’s spoon away. He scooped up the bite, but wasn’t able to get it into his mouth before Tommy spoke.

“I’m with child, Evan,” Tommy replied, leaning back and placing a hand over his stomach. “Your child. Do you want the baby to starve?”

Buck glared. “I cannot believe you’d use our child to get your way.”

Tommy shrugged, reaching out for the spoon. “Cake, please.”

“Fine.” Buck reached out, but ignored Tommy’s hand, opting to feed him instead. “I’m getting an extra slice to go though.”

Tommy nodded, swallowing down the cake. “Baby says get two.”

*****

It was late, and they’d been at Bobby and Athena’s place for hours. The party was starting to wind down, but Tommy and Howie had been in the middle of a very long and, in Buck’s opinion, boring conversation about movies.

Buck had tried to pull him away twice now, and tell him it was time to go home, but both times Tommy had said it’d be just a couple more minutes.

That was half an hour ago.

So Buck found a spot on Tommy’s lap, resting his head on his shoulder. Tommy didn’t miss a beat, wrapping one arm around Buck’s back and the other just above his knee, continuing the conversation.

A couple minutes later, Jee came up asking her dad to help her with a spilled drink, so Chim excused himself with a promise that the conversation would continue when he was done.

“Tommy?” Buck started the second Chimney left.

“Yeah, Hon?”

He took the hand that was on his leg and moved it to his stomach. “Baby’s tired, and so am I.”

Tommy pressed a kiss against his temple. “Howie and I have been talking a long time, haven’t we?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay,” Tommy replied, rubbing his hand back and forth over Buck’s stomach. “Let’s get the babies home.”

*****

“I cannot believe we’re arguing about this right now!”

“You’re the one who started it, Evan.”

“Because I told you three times to take the meat out of the freezer last night. Three times, Tommy!”

“And I told you I was sorry that I forgot,” Tommy replied, his voice too calm and cool for the situation. It made Buck want to scream.

“I’m supposed to be making a roast duck with carrots and potatoes tonight. Maddie and Chim are coming over! How am I supposed to make roast duck when it’s frozen solid?!”

“The microwave has a defrost setting.”

Buck was sure his face turned beet red. “I’m gonna pretend you did not just say that to me.”

Tommy sighed, walking around the counter to get closer to Buck. “I’m really sorry, Evan,” he said, slowly reaching out and tugging at Buck’s arm. “I’ll run to the store and get another duck. Okay?”

“It needs to be exactly 2.8 pounds.”

“I will do my best.” He took Buck’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “I’m really sorry for forgetting, okay? It’s pregnancy brain.”

Buck pursed his lips at that, fighting against a smile. He waited a few seconds before responding. “Taking vitamins should help with that.”

“I’ll look into it while I’m at the store.” He squeezed Buck’s hand again, until Buck finally looked over at him. “We okay?”

Buck rolled his eyes, but nodded. “We’re okay. Can’t stay mad at you when you’re having my kid.”

*****

“Tommy, I- I need you to wake up.” Buck fought against the tears filling his eyes. He cleared his throat, sucking in a breath. “I- We’re here, okay? We’re all here waiting on you t- to wake up. I- Everyone is out in the waiting room b- because I wanted a minute.”

Buck scooted his chair closer to the hospital bed, staring down at their interlocked hands. “I love you, Tommy. We all love you so much. I- I know you know that already. I know you don’t want to be in here.”

Tommy’s chest rose and fell evenly with the help of the ventilator.

“They said th- the other driver was drunk. They weren’t hurt though, of course. But… But, Tommy, you’ve been through worse. You survived a helicopter crash. So you’ve got this. I know you do.”

He leaned down and kissed over Tommy’s knuckles, bruised and scabbed over, dried blood still present. Buck had worked so hard trying to get it all off.

“The others will be coming in soon, but if, um, if you can hear me, I… the baby needs you too.” Part of Buck felt stupid. Bringing up a joke like this right now would get him some looks from his family, for sure. But he didn’t care. It was just the two of them, and if it helped bring Tommy back, he’d make the joke every hour on the hour. “Size of a peach, ya know? All this stress is- isn’t good for her. Yeah, I decided it’s a her. At least for now. Wake up for us, Tommy. Please.”

~

It took three days for the ventilator to be removed.

And another day for Tommy to open his eyes.

But after some groggy hello's and a few sips of water, he reached out for Buck, who wasted no time being by his side.

“H… How’s baby?” Tommy asked, voice raspy.

Buck smiled, a tear falling down his face. He ignored the confused glances from everyone else in the room. “She’s fine, Tommy,” he said, running a hand through Tommy’s hair. “And so are you.”

*****

Tommy was going to throw up. He’d never been so nervous in his life.

Everything that could go wrong, did.

This was actually supposed to have happened two weeks ago, but one disaster after another got in the way.

So now they were at a last minute venue, with no catered food, no floral arrangements, barely any guests, and tuxedos that somehow got altered wrong and were two inches too short.

But none of that scared Tommy. Not as much as standing up in front of the people who were there, with the love of his life standing across from him, knowing he was going to become a blubbering mess the second he tried to say his vows.

A knock on the door shook him out of his panic. “Come in.”

“Hey.” Buck’s voice was quiet and calm. Tommy wondered how in the world those roles got reversed. “I could hear you freaking out from the other room.”

Tommy walked right over and practically fell into Buck’s arms. “I’m gonna screw this up.”

“Wh- What are you talking about?”

“I- I’ve been practicing my vows,” Tommy replied, moving back just enough to look at Buck, “and I start crying every time. I can’t help it. I’m gonna be a mess up there and ruin it.”

Buck cocked his head to the side, looking as fond as ever. “We’re both going to be messes up there, Tommy. Not just you.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had this much anxiety in my life, and we’ve done some pretty insane things.”

“Yeah, we have,” Buck agreed. “But I know one thing I’m not nervous about.”

Tommy bit at his lip, “What’s that?”

“Marrying you.”

“Oh,” Tommy breathed out. “I’m not nervous about that either.”

There was a beat of silence before Tommy continued. “Maybe it’s the baby.” He smirked, puffing out his stomach. “He’s making me nauseous.”

Buck smiled, patting Tommy’s stomach before pulling him back close. “We’re getting married, Tommy.”

There were the nerves again. “I know.”

“No, I mean, we’re getting married. I don’t care if you forget every word you were going to say up there. I love you, and you love me, and we’re getting married.”

Tommy nodded, sighing in relief. The anxiety drained from his face. “Yeah. That’s… Yeah. I love you so much, Evan.”

Buck leaned in, pressing a kiss to Tommy’s lips. “Now let’s go get married before you go into labor.”

[alchemistc]

It's not something he thinks about terribly often - no real reason to, until this moment, with an arm slung over Evan's waist and a pair of eyes blinking at him out of the darkness.

Maddie and Howie are significantly smaller than Buck and Tommy. They are. There's no denying it. The bed that probably fits the two of them neatly with plenty of room to spare is just no match for Evan's mile-long legs, their broad chests and wide shoulders. Evan's tendency to kick one leg out from under the duvet and Tommy's habit of sprawling are just no match for this perfectly normal sized bed.

He'd said so even as they were turning out lights, voices low as they bypassed the frankly laughable double in the spare room in favor of the master, and Evan had joked that it wasn't like they didn't end most nights practically on top of one another, anyway, so what did it matter if they were a little cramped?

And he'd been right - at the time. In a California king they barely used half the bed - some combination of torsos and limbs always sliding together, heads tucked under chins and legs tangled together, arms slung over waists and pillows shared between them. Six months past the argument that had tipped them straight out of the honeymoon phase and firmly into 'actually we're just like this and that's clearly not going to change' and Tommy can't think of a single night they've actually laid down to sleep and not ended up a sprawl of interconnected pieces.

And they'd made it work, even though Maddie and Howie's bed is not large enough for two 6'2" men.

It wouldn't be a problem, except for the shadow hovering just a few feet in front of a softly snoring Evan - wet eyes and messy hair and a trembling bottom lip that Tommy is sure other people also find as devastating as he does, in this moment. "I sleep with you?" Jee Yun murmurs, wiping at her snotty nose and blinking her eyes like she doesn't already know Tommy would do pretty much anything to wipe the sad little frown off her face.

It's just.

There's no fucking room in this bed. Sure, if she'd had a bad dream and gone to seek comfort from her parents, there'd have been room, but, as Tommy has come to understand, her parents are significantly smaller than he and Evan and if Tommy shifts his weight in the wrong direction the both of them are tumbling off one end of this bed.

Jee's lip trembles.

"Did you have a nightmare, bug?" Tommy asks softly, and Jee shakes her head fiercely, tucking her chin towards her chest, a hand reaching out to dig tiny hands into the duvet. Stubborn, like the rest of her family, a refusal to admit weakness he's been in an uphill battle to stomp out of her uncle for going on a year now. Evan mumbles incomprehensibly in his sleep, and Jee turns still-wet eyes on Tommy.

"I sleep here with Uncle Tommy?"

Which is not playing fair at all.

When they'd all but shoved Maddie and Howie out the door to go enjoy a long weekend, insistent that it would be easier on Jee if they watched her in her own home, Jee had been ecstatic. She'd bounced off the walls for hours, dragged Tommy around with all the resolve of a child aware she had him wrapped both figuratively and literally around her tiny little fingers (her whole hand could wrap around two of his fingers at a time), insisted on piggy back rides when it became clear that riding on either of their shoulders was just a recipe for bonked heads. She'd tired herself out before the sun had even set, and passed out with her head pillowed on Evan's thigh and one foot tucked in Tommy's armpit, the other shoved under his knee on the couch.

She'd barely stirred when Tommy swung her up into his arms and tucked her into bed, and Tommy had spent a good twenty minutes after the fact furiously reminding Evan that they were not having sex in his sisters bed.

("The biological impossibility of knocking me up aside, you know what it does to me when I see you with kids, Tommy."

"Yeah, well, let your non-existent ovaries quiver with excitement for a few more days and I'll make it up to you.")

The Uncle Tommy thing is new. As in, she's never used it before this evening, nodding off in her seat while she picked at her chicken nuggets, and maybe Tommy had gone so still when she'd murmured it that Evan had actually been a little concerned, and maybe he'd indulged her request for a third episode of Bluey because of it, but he's a grown ass man who can surely let her down gently - sweep her off her feet and tuck her back in to her own bed and sit with her until she passes out again.

Or Jee can employ an absolutely deadly combo of trembling lip and tears at the corner of her eyes and Tommy can cave like the idiot he is.

Tommy assesses the scant space on Evan's side of the bed - knee curled up towards his torso and ankle dangling off the side of the bed, a hand under his cheek as he continues to snuffle in his sleep. No go there. Tommy's flush against him, knees tucked behind Evan's, arm still settled against his waist, and at his back there's plenty of space but if Tommy rolls sideways he's got maybe six inches of leeway between himself and the end of the mattress.

Tommy sighs and rolls. Jee's face lights up. Evan snorts awake and grunts in pain as he gets an elbow to the sternum and a knobbly knee to the give of his stomach when Jee climbs right up over him to shove into the newly opened space between them.

"Jee?" comes the tired voice as Evan shuffles onto his left side to face Tommy and their new company, rubbing at his eyes and smacking his lips like he's thirsty.

"Bad dream," Tommy intones softly even as Jee settles herself between them. There's a sharp knee dangerously close to his groin and a tiny little hand fisted in his sleep shirt and a face shoved into his rib cage, and Evan is giving him that look again.

Evan rests a hand against Jee's back, fingers shifting back and forth across her shoulders while she shifts her weight to find the optimal position. Jee sighs into Tommy's shirt, hot wet breath fanning out over the little spot, and kicks a leg back at an angle that must just miss something soft of Evan's, if the look in his face is anything to go by.

She's asleep before Tommy can count to ten - out like a fucking light in the space between them.

Evan's eyes meet his. It's a conversation they've had in fits and starts for months, now - since the first time he caught sight of Evan holding a baby and nearly had a meltdown in aisle three of Trader Joe's because he'd tucked that idea away years ago.

It's one they really need to have in full. Soon.

Evan's hand shifts, fingers reaching for the bolt of Tommy's jaw, thumb pressing into his cleft and then shifting sideways. "She played you like a fiddle," Evan says, voice soft, grin going wide, and Tommy glances down at the shock of dark hair tucked between them with the sudden realization that of the two of them, Evan is gonna end up being the disciplinarian.

Christ, they're fucking screwed.

He breathes, rubs his face into the pillow, reaches up to cup Evan's hand in his palm, enjoying the stretch of heat across his cheek and jaw.

"Go back to sleep," Tommy tells him, and doesn't fight the pull of a few more hours for himself when Evan sighs and lets his eyes drift closed.

[writers-potion]

How to foreshadow? Like a big thing is going to be revelation after few chapters so how can I drop subtle hints about it? Lots of love 💗

Foreshadowing Creatively

If you are trying to build up towards the 'big moment' throughout a few prior chapters,

Let's assume that we want to reveal the the fact that Character A's husband is cheating on her. The big moment here would be when she witnesses them kissing in the parking lot.

To drop subtle hints about it, we could:

Have the husband doing things that are just slightly out of the ordinary, but not enough to attract serious suspicion: taking call outside the bedroom, being more tired after work than usual

Insert direct evidence that Character A could've picked up on, but she doesn't because she thinks it's ridiculous to start having doubts.

Use symbolic motifs. The husband informs her that he lost is wedding ring - a complete accident. But this indicates a 'break' of their marriage vows.

Similarly, you can use color/animal/location that subtly hints at secrecy, infidelity and dishonesty.

It may even be enough to have seemingly unrelated bad things happen to her. Maybe she cuts her finger while prepping dinner for her husband, or suddenly starts feeling that their bed is uncomforatble to sleep in. There's no logical link between these details and the eventual realization, but the mood gets established.

Think about the big moment from two different points of view: someone who knows about it all along, and someone who doesn't. How would it look from an outsider's POV?

I find it helpful to think about howI tried to justify the bad events that has happened to me.

For example, I messed up on a math test. The logical reason for this was that I didn't study enough. But my brain would: - blame it on the weather: it was raining! And I hate rain! - the supervising teacher, Mrs. G, was my least favorite and that had affected my mood. - I always eat an even number of chocolate before tests, but I could only eat 3 that morning because that's all that I had left. - the bus came late

Drive your character's mood slowly towards the revelation. If it's an emotional one, I'd say the atmospheric/symbolic elements would be more important; if it's puzzle pieces finally clicking in place, you could provide a brief overview of how past events are finally put together by your main character at the end.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

💎If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! Also, join my Tumblr writing community for some more fun.

💎Before you ask, check out my masterpost part 1 and part 2