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stanleywbaxton · 3 years ago

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You Can't Just Tell Me the Company's Paying For Lunch, Sir

My current job's alright. I design marketing emails, and besides wanting to hold the developers of outlook responsible for several war crimes, have a decent time with it. It's not what I want to do in the least, however. I desperately want to write for a living.

If the multitude of essays on very niche topics hasn't clued you in.

But regardless, until someone offers their magnanimous hand down from the heavens and offers me a job it works, I suppose. I'm given an inside view into the wretched underbelly of capitalism, and eight hours of my day are dedicated to producing nothing of value, to a pseudoscience based on outdated psychology and smoke and mirrors, that my knowledge of the occult has given me a better understanding of its workings than any tangible art grounded in human decency, but it works. I suppose.

The thing is, what makes this job a standout is how it contrasted with my last. That one was,

unique,

to say the least.

It was also a marketing position. The only thing, the owners were idiots. They were the quintessential small business couple who wanted to own a business for the bragging rights of owning a business. Brains so rotted with capitalism that any human connection was seen as a networking opportunity. Thought quoting old white men notable for being nazi sympathisers made Line Go Up. Used their employees for marriage counselling. You know the kind.

They also thought none of their workers would notice that half the clients we worked with were their side businesses.

I can really drive the point home to anyone with an inkling of HTML knowledge. The company made a huge point on its email marketing expertise. For starters, no-one on the marketing team knew HTML. I comprised 100% of the collective knowledge, and took all of it back when I quit. There were web developers on a different team, but they were strictly confined to changing hex values in premade wordpress templates. Cross-team help was limited to asking where someone saved a PDF last, lest they caught the ire of management and something about 'noise levels in the office', while they shrieked at full-volume tiktoks one desk over. So, what did the marketing team do?

They designed a 600 by several thousands pixel image, exported it lossless, set this behemoth of a file as the whole email, and linked it up with an image map.

For those not in the know, this meant they were sending emails that:

Were inaccessible for people using screen readers

Were inaccessible for people with slow internet

Were inaccessible for anyone using outlook

Were unable to have any text copied if it, say, had a promotional code

Almost exclusively contained promotional codes

Were ugly (unrelated, they just were)

Broke the law since the unsubscribe button didn't work

When I saw this, and that the apprentices on the team were being taught to make graphics using powerpoint, I immediately knew I needed a new job. That was day two.

The good part was they were very much in agreement. This was a Kickstart position, and for those who haven't heard, Kickstart is a government scheme in the UK. A business applies to be part of it, offers entry-level positions they have open, and gets them advertised to job centres. The government subsidises the salaries for these positions at minimum wage for six months, and gives the business a lump sum for filling it and getting a graduate off Universal Credit.

If you see the obvious exploit here, that's what my then-employers did.

The job starts off great. Our bright-eyed employee finds themselves fitting in quite well. Their boss loves them. Their coworkers love them. Oh, Lord, this is a lot of work, but everyone loves them! Month after month of glowing reviews, certainly worth being worn to the bone, and the job centre gets nothing but happy smiles all around. Suddenly, in the last month their 'performance' takes a 'nosedive', and by their next review they 'need to book their ideas up'. So coincidentally as the subsidy ends they're booted off the payroll. 'Not the right fit for the company', or something. By the time they realise what's happened they're back on Universal Credit with their labour already exploited.

So to go from this—a job where legal lines were played with like double dutch, the owners' dogs pissed in the entrance (a real, actual thing that happened, as the owners had three dogs that they refused to train, and instead of paying money for a dog sitter they were given full run of the office and all its cables), half the team sneered at a trans woman on x-factor but so miraculously didn't notice the lack of a bulge in my jeans—to a job where I got a pack of haribos as a welcome gift, was quite the stark shock.

It had been two weeks by this point. Still settling in, still getting all my duties in order. They were introduced one-by-one, another stark difference, and I was working about half of what my full job would be. This was going well. I could do this.

The head of the social team sends a message to everyone in the office. "Because we have a bunch of new guys," she said, "we're going out for lunch!"

Ah, from my old place I'd learnt this was 'we want to go on a date but need to write it off as a business expense, and we'll use this as leverage to never give you a pay rise', but considering this company wasn't family-owned, and the meet was organised by someone whose job it was to do this, it seemed to start on a better foot. I check my wallet for—

"It's all paid by the office," she answers to someone else.

...They, them, are paying?

Surely not. I'd heard tales from my mother's workplace going on trips and lunches and all manner of events, but my old job stamped out any delusions that would happen to me. Not without a significant payment out of my own pocket.

But if they are...

It Was a Brewdog

If you've never been yourself, Brewdog is a pub chain. I know little of it beyond this one trip but the immediate vibe of this place was mid-range luxury that's still trying to be rustic, but not rustic enough where it starts looking poor. Unmarketable. You know, your typical millennial shite that would fit right at home on instagram.

But I walked into this place with a plan. I was going to eat. I was giving myself a king-sized banquet and not a penny of it was coming out of my pocket.

This was mistake one.

I must stress, I don't have a large appetite. I just like making corporations pay for things.

My plan starts off superbly. We're given a menu, and I see a wonderful range for me to pick at. Mostly burgers, which gets me excited. The only thing that would have gotten me more is pizza. Conversation between us runs through what everyone does and doesn't want.

"They've got deep fried oreos!" the guy sitting next to me says. "Man, I really want those."

This inspires me. I love desserts! Of course I need to have one. I'd never had deep fried oreos, and if I didn't like them? Not out of my pocket! Nothing lost.

This was mistake two.

My order is thus:

Loaded fries

A pretentiously-named double bacon cheeseburger

Deep fried oreos

Yes, this seems like a lot for lunch. But my reasoning was sound, and at this moment was a fantastic plan. I was going to swap what I was having for lunch and tea. I'd have something big now and once home just have a sandwich to round off my day.

This was mistake three.

The stage is set; orders are taken. We then get to drinks, which I say I'm happy with water.

The person organising the trip interjects. "You're just having water? Do you not want anything?"

"Nah," I say. "I don't drink."

I should note, this isn't out of some moral code or health reason. It's simply because I don't like beer, and most pubs don't have fruity drinks. In both meanings of the word.

"Not even coke?" she continues. "Are you sure?"

"I don't like fizzy drinks when I eat out. They fill me and I don't enjoy the food."

Which is completely true, if I'm eating a lot. I was giving myself a three course meal here. I knew I couldn't expend useless calories on a drink.

This was the only thing I did correctly.

We continue light chatter for a while. Inane shit. Some meals come out, and because of course it is the oreos are the first thing I receive. I put them to the side.

Funny enough, I end up talking about my last job to someone higher up than me. I gave him the basic rundown. You know, exploiting the labour of young workers and running off with thousands of tax-payer pounds, when the tories are so desperate to tell you the person too disabled to work is the one claiming away your money.

I don't say that, instead saying I had a six month time limit to find a new job. I'm sure he got the subtext.

He shook his head in response. "I never understood why companies do that."

Because of capitalism. This is another thing I don't say, because I don't want upper management to know I'm a pinko.

By now the food started to arrive, several waiters coming to us as a party of 17. I look over to the other one of our tables being served first, wondering what the small commotion was.

This is where my problems begin.

These things are not burgers. They are monuments of hubris demanding—being made only for this purpose—God to strike them down, that were called burgers just because they happen to be made with the building blocks of a burger. All of them have knives rammed through their cores. The bun touches the handle.

When the plates actually reach the people who ordered them, the conversation switches instantly to how they were supposed to be eaten. They were too big to pick up in your hand. They were too tall to cut into with a knife.

I then realise, no-one else has ordered a double. Mine will be even taller.

Oh, I think.

I've fucked up.

But the true magnitude of my fuck-up doesn't become aparant at first, because the first thing I'm given in this batch was the loaded fries.

Alright, don't panic. This is doable. I've had bigger meals. Probably.

The fries are a small dish, so I think I've lucked out. A small thing before I tackle the Tower of Babel. I can do this. But, I distinctly remember these being pretty expensive. For some chips, anyway. Maybe it was the fact they were covered in enough sauce to drown a small village that did it.

I eat one, do that cursory thing where you mention how it's nice to someone nearby while they do the same with their own dish, and continue to drill the mantra in my head. I can do this. I can do this. They tasted really nice, and reminded me of the deep fried ones my grandad made. I can do this!

Then I spot something, under the gap made by the fry now sitting in my stomach. I was expecting more fries, as you do. The thing you would most expect in a bowl of fries under the first layer of fries would be more fries.

This was not a bowl of fries. This was a Trojan Horse seeking the end to my gluttony named Troy.

There are three chicken strips hidden under the fries.

They were in the small print on the menu, I later found out. And the reason they were much pricier than you'd expect. My mind was so captivated on reading 'loaded' and thinking of all the wonderful things that could entail, I did not read further to see what that entailed.

And of course, they're covered in sauces, garnishings, and probably a whole farmer's field worth of greenery as well. This was loaded, in every way possible.

Well,

There's no way through this, except my stomach.

There's a specific feeling you get, when you're enjoying something you know is manifesting your doom. I pecked my way through those chips, indulging myself on the sauces, knowing that each time I swallow was only making the inevitable future where I have to eat that burger even more difficult. Every chicken strip I put into my face inches me closer and closer to burning in a hell of my own design, despite its juiciness and crunchy skin.

Maybe it's what oil barons feel.

The burger comes to me when I'm nearly finished with the fries. It's taller than I could have possibly imagined.

You see, I was expecting something bigger than everyone else's. I'm not an idiot. A double cheeseburger is bigger than a regular cheeseburger; clue's in the name. But I did approach it in a manner I thought was rational. A patty was, what? About a quarter of the full burger? A third, if it's a bit chunky? More meat, and meat is filling, sure, but it couldn't be that much bigger.

These patties could have competed with the bricks that built the wall behind me.

The vegetables were barely there. The vegetables might as well have taken the day off. These patties, dear god, felt like they were specially selected to make an example of me. Some people on my table notice the size, and start joking about how tall it is compared to theirs.

I try laughing along. Hah. Ha hah. Funny. Yeah, it is funny. It's funny. Look how big it is. Funny!

The laugh was not from my belly, as it wept for its future.

Okay. Strategy time. I'd finished a majority of the fries, and could spin some tale about how I was so excited for this burger that I jumped straight into it. Then, I got full and didn't go back for them. I can do this.

I'm then faced with the same question everyone else ran through moments ago. How the hell do you approach this? Grabbing and shoving it to my mouth was completely out of the question. The entire thing would fall apart.

So I opt for something entirely different. I yank the knife out, and take the top bun off with one of the patties, and now I have two open-faced...

Is open-faced burger a thing?

Google says yes. Grand.

Which really shows just how much of a terrible idea this was. Now I have two burgers to take on. But regardless, with some kind of approach to eating my monument to hubris, I pick up one, and bite.

It's greasy.

This was not a normal greasy. I've had greasy burgers before. I've been to America. Texas. Whataburger. That thing I thought was the peak of grease.

I was wrong. Have you ever eaten something greasy enough that the grease actually feels like another ingredient? That your teeth pierce through it like a layer of cheese? Not even the bun, or pitiful state of the vegetables could help me now. Both were soaked through. The bun passes better as a kitchen sponge.

After one bite, one bite, I felt full.

I'd never experienced this in my life. I will stress, again, I do not have a large appetite, but when it comes to (and someone else is paying) I can eat. I could consider it a talent, almost.

But here's the problem when you're eating on someone else's dime. You know when you, yourself, make a bad decision? That's entirely your fault. If you go to a new spot that ends up being a bust, or make an impulse purchase you immediately regret, or order too much food at a restaurant, you get to wallow in your own self pity and kick yourself over what an idiot you've been. It's only your wallet that's affected.

This was not my wallet.

The thing is, I'd never been faced with this dilemma before. Before when I'd eaten a bunch when others were paying, I ate all of it. No exception. Sure, it was basic tat like McDonalds or Taco Bell and that one time we went for sushi, but I ate every crumb I got out of their coin. I was so caught up in the chance for another one that I hadn't even considered the moral dilemmas that could come with it.

What was I supposed to do? Not eat the food they'd just spent God-knows how much on? Get invited out, as one of the new guys inciting this whole gathering, and order a metric fuck-load just to say: "Actually, no thank you. I appreciate you spending all this money on me, but, honestly? I'm just not feeling up to it."

I couldn't. I'd only been here a few weeks. I couldn't destroy what little good reputation I'd built up.

So I chew.

And chew.

It's the little twinges of enjoyment, that get me. By every metric, yes, this is a good meal. It tastes good. I enjoy eating it. The flavours dance around on my tongue and I'm reminded how much I love burgers. Then my stomach cries out to me that this isn't right. I've never eaten this much before. We're reaching uncharted waters. Terrible, terrible, terrible things are going to happen if I keep going.

And I chew.

I drink gulps of water, as if it helps.

I chew.

I listen to the conversations around me to give my stomach a break, which does nothing.

I chew.

I'm only halfway through this thing. It doesn't matter what strategy I go for. Smaller bites for less volume. Larger bites to trick myself into thinking it's going down quicker. Every bite feels like a workout and layer and layer of grease packs onto my lips.

Oh, good God. Why did I do this to myself—

"Hello," someone says.

"What?" I respond.

"It's me. A voice in your head of dubious psychological origin, and another sign you need to hurry up on finding that therapist," it says.

"Oh, you? What's your purpose this time? Laughing at my misfortune?"

"Encouragement. Cheerleading, perhaps."

"For what? Eating a burger?"

"Of course!" it bellows. "You can't just tap out now. You have a reputation to upkeep! Your family is known for their appetites, are they not?"

"That's not something for us to be proud of. We have an unhealthy relationship to food through a combination of reasons I refuse to detail in an essay designed to be comical."

"Too scared to bare your soul again?"

"We're also more well-known for the basketball," I add.

"Yes, perhaps, but does that mean you're about to give up?"

"I also think the basketball fuelled the appetite," I muse. "My brother could eat a full buffet after matches."

"Allow me to rephrase this, are you about to be a disappointment?"

"The asthma attack in PE did that already."

"Are you going to be more of a disappointment?"

No.

I wasn't.

"Good man," it says, and retreats back into my subconscious.

I remember I'm sat in a restaurant.

And I fucking chew.

I've noticed something I do. Or my brain does, I should be more accurate. I have a tendency to not remember moments I'm under extreme stress. I was there, and things happened, but in what order and how it happened? Fuck if I know.

This is one of those times. Some minutes pass and my hands are empty.

I look down, lips tingling, undoubtedly an artery clogging somewhere, to see one bun and half of a patty remaining.

You know what? Sure. Victory. I'm declaring victory over this half-eaten burger. This is enough. I'd already resigned that finishing everything was out of the question as soon as the chicken strips ambushed me.

I sit back in my chair. Jesus Christ. Instead of having a moment reminiscing over the nice meal I'd just had I'm swearing on my life how I can never ever do this again. I grab a napkin to wipe my face, which was sat a bit weird, I thought, almost like it was hiding—

The oreos.

Oh.

Fuck.

I couldn't have got something easy, could I? A single cookie? A mint? A cracker? Nothing?

You know, if I didn't pick that napkin up, I might have gotten away with it. I'd forgotten that I got dessert. Surely everyone else had. But no. Now there they were, on their sickly sweet display. Someone else already took notice.

I pick one up and inspect it. I'm not out of the woods yet.

See, I do love desserts. I'm the kind of person who always leaves space for dessert. I love chocolates. Biscuits. Ice cream. The whole lot. As a kid, especially, I always considered the end of the meal the best part.

This day almost killed my love of them.

Then, I remember something. A saviour is here. The guy to my right, the one who said he was interested in the oreos.

"Hey, you mentioned wanting to try these. Would you like one?" I say as a masked cry for help.

"Oh, no, you enjoy them," he says with a smile, completely unaware of what he's just done. "Thanks anyway."

"Ah," I say, my hand trembling. "If you change your mind, just shout."

He does not.

The worst part, those oreos were good! When I wasn't focusing on what they were doing to me. They tasted like rich cocoa and cream with the texture of freshly made cake. "This is delightful," my mouth said. "I love warm desserts! Brownies, chocolate chip anything straight out the oven, treats that melt as you chew into them. This is delightful!"

"I feel like I'm traipsing through hell while the devil pisses on my face," my stomach said.

Somehow, dunking the oreos in syrup makes it easier. It's this runny chocolate thing, and I don't care what it actually is, besides the fact it's helping right now. I fail to reason why. It's extra calories. It should be causing even more protests in my stomach.

Against all odds, I chew. And I chew.

I pop another one in my mouth, and I chew. Another one, and I chew. Another one...

There's one left.

Fuck it.

It's Done

If I get diagnosed with an intolerance to anything, this will be a day I think back to. I'm half expecting to keel over randomly in the street, wake up in a hospital, to find myself with half of that fucking burger stuck inside my liver and an incurable allergy to anything that was on that thing.

And you know what? I won't even complain. I'll take a good, honest look at my internal organs and say: "You know what, guys? Sure. I'll take this one. I might not have deserved the asthma, but I'll take this one."

The walk back to the office there's a grey tinge to my vision. It's an absolute miracle my heart didn't give out. When I get back, on the company message board someone mentions my 'impressive appetite'.

...Should I be embarrassed by that?

Oh! I'm not a woman anymore. I shouldn't!

It took several days before any sense of appetite returned. I went through meals, only getting through factions of it before tapping out. That feeling of having absolutely no sense of hunger is one of the most alien things I've experienced. When the moment came that I could eat a ham sandwich without wanting to immediately eject it out of my food pipe I celebrated.

Of course, I would not be so much of a fool to make the same mistake more than once. Especially with what it did to me. I may miscalculate my ventures, but I learn from my experiences. Even if our office—any office!—was paying, I will never, never overeat to such an extent again.

So at the Christmas party, we ordered Domino's—

#life

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sitewidecoupon-blog · 7 years ago

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Imagine a situation where you are not dressed your best but unfortunately catch more attention than you wanted to. For instance, your dress is oversized, it looks awful, and someone clicks a snap and circulates it on the web? Horrible! However, that is something celebrities just have to be thick-skinned about. Because when it comes to fashion, even they can mess up.

On a side note, get up to 40% off from GAP to keep your styling troubles at bay. Can’t avoid sales and discounts like these, now can we? To keep you in the know-how, here are ten fashion follies that celebrities have encountered so far. Better sidestep these mistakes.

Margot Robbieat the G’Day USA Gala

Apart from her bright smile, the Suicide Squad actress is known for her chic and modish looks. The 27-year-old was nominated for the BAFTAs 2018 for her stellar performance in I, Tonya. But the spotlight didn’t just shine on her for her nomination. Her black Givenchy lace gown also made sure to turn heads her way. But like most of us, Margot Robbie also has bad and unfashionable days.

At the G’Day USA Los Angeles Gala, her fully printed floral dress didn’t manage to wow onlookers. Too flowery, it failed at giving the right vintage vibes.

Venessa Hudgensat the Directv Now Super Saturday Night Concert

90’s kids have grown up with her, they remember her for being there for them when they didn’t know what to wear. But again, even divas can falter. Perhaps the Say Okay artist was trying to nail the cool-girl look at the Directv Now Super Saturday Night Concert earlier this month. But with her oversized black and white outfit, she missed the mark. Luckily for Venessa Hudgens, not many noticed.

Paloma Faith at the BRIT Awards

When it comes to Paloma Faith’s style, we know that she is hardly ever simple. And that is exactly what fashionistas love about her. The Picking Up the Pieces singer is known for her funky, colorful, vintage style. Talking about her dressing sense, she once said, “As soon as I became a teenager it became obvious that my body suited this type of tailoring, I have a big bum and a small waist!”

However, at the BRIT Awards this year, onlookers were not very keen on giving her high marks for her overly-shiny look. Too flamboyant, she wore a silver glittery maxi and carried a disco ball clutch.

Cardi B at the Grammy’s

The year didn’t start fashionably for Cardi B. She made a slight mistake when she chose to wear a puffy white dress to the Grammy’s. Where some found her look ethereal, others didn’t. The dress had a short skirt on the front and a long tail behind it. Nevertheless, as always, the rapper made up for it.

Her recent dressing game at the NYFW was so dope, she had the audience hooked. Furs, OTKs, and sunshades? Gorgeous to bits!

Allison Janney at the BAFTAs Red Carpet

Allison Janney’s dress was on fleek at the Golden Globes this year but not so much at the BAFTAs. The BAFTAs this year saw everyone following the black dress code. But in order to stand out of the crowd, some celebrities overdid their looks. Allison Janney was one of them. Though her black floor-length maxi dress looked absolutely stunning, the addition of the golden silk bolero ruined it.

Katy Perry at the Stella McCartney event

The Swish Swish singer is more than just music and those pretty doe eyes. Katy Perry has an amazing taste when it comes to fashion too; wild and feisty. Despite her costumes being on-point each time, she managed to save herself from a fashion faux pas by just an inch in January. She wore a red loose dress that broke all fashion rules.

Not only was the dress too plain, but it was also too oversized for the petite singer. What saved her was that she wore a Stella McCartney dress to a Stella McCartney event.

Blanca Blanco at the Golden Globe Awards

The Golden Globes also had everyone dressed in black in support of the Time’s Up movement. However, Blanca Blanco decided to go for a red gown for which she faced severe backlash. Twitter users were of the view that the actress was trying to fetch attention. However, apart from the color too, her dress was too revealing and unflattering. “The issue is bigger than my dress color. I love red. Wearing red does not mean I am against the movement.” said the actress in defence.

Petty Jenkins at the AFI Awards

Her movie Wonder Woman became the highest-grossing superhero movie. She had both, the critics and fans of the DC universe, entirely impressed. However, despite being the brains behind Wonder Woman Petty Jenkins’ attire at the AFI awards was not all that impressive. She wore an entirely maroon silk dress with one lilac sleeve.

Bad dressing is like that nightmare that haunts you for days after you have seen it. No matter how good your dressing sense is, fashion fails are bound to happen every now and then. Grab up to 70% discount from SheIn and make sure you’re in-trend. While you can’t avoid fashion fails, you can definitely try to shoo away the attention. However, that is something that celebrities cannot do.Which other celebrities do you think have failed at fashion this year so far?

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roshroslin · 4 years ago

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That feeling when you spend your mornings solving algorithms and then you become the algorithm. I think I broke my brain. 🙃🥲🥴• • • • • • • • #developer #coding #programming #programmer #javascript #code #coder #webdeveloper #html #technology #tech #freelancedeveloper #softwaredeveloper #websdesign #developerlife #codinglife #softwareengineer #dev https://www.instagram.com/p/CNvMP6bs0hX/?igshid=1299cc5s4d0ww

#developer #coding #programming #programmer #javascript #code #coder #webdeveloper #html #technology #tech #freelancedeveloper #softwaredeveloper #websdesign #developerlife #codinglife #softwareengineer #dev

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wordpress-guides · 4 years ago

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Transforming into a Codeable Certified WordPress Expert Designer

For those who have not heard of Codeable well before, this is basically the WordPress-specific freelancer program where they are doing all the vetting and go with you up with the very best WordPress experts.

Table of Contents

1 Codeable Professional Software

2 Codeable Test Project

3 Codeable Are living Html coding Check

4 Codeable Trial Period

5 Good results!

6 The advantages of becoming a Codeable Specialist

7 Get Licensed or Employ an authority

Codeable has been in existence for quite a while now and also over time their vetting method to be a WordPress specialistis becoming increasingly more stringent and much more engaged to enable them to really keep the product of your crop of WordPress developers. The present acknowledgment rates are 2%. In spite of a solid curriculum vitae, you might not notice back from their store for quite a while since they control their builders based upon offer and desire. I used to be fortunate enough to have my application approved and undergo this complete qualification process.

Codeable Professional Application

You need to have a portfolio of work to indicate why is that you are simply a very good applicant. Developing a strong Github repo or some WordPress plugins in the WordPress plug-in repository can be quite a major help in obtaining seen. You should probably have a minimum of five-years of expertise with WordPress alone at the same time and become well-talked in English. This first software is definitely the major dropoff level for individuals so be sure to impress.

Codeable Check Venture

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They specifically explained that I would not really receive any other possessions and that I was free to ask questions about anything. Any theme or instrument was a reasonable video game to make use of, nonetheless they specifically created a style that could stop being something that you could easily make by using a web page tradesman. There is some flexibility to work with my own judgment with hover effects etc allow it that added contact which makes it wonderful.

I began with the Astra concept as my base as it is a clear fast design out from the package and is a superb place to start for any custom-made project. I don’t personally like to use page building contractors, so for this task and its requirements I was just planning to construct it on your own making use of Superior Custom Fields (ACF). I added several additional javascript libraries to deal with some functionality and I was off and operating.

I quickly recognized why they specifically informed me that I would not obtain almost every other asset. It was actually simply because they didn’t provide you with the ideal assets to create the internet site is the easiest way. It was on the designer to see this and change what you should be much better.

Total this is probably one of the most demanding single entrance-finishes I’ve had to produce. They managed to stick in every form of snag you can deal with by using a style and you possessed to make it work.

Additionally, they ensured to delve into woocommerce adjustments plus some google maps API advancement. It was no going walking within the park, but I experienced a whole few days to complete it around my full-time task. I could proudly say that the done product which I provided was actually a factor of elegance.

Codeable Are living Html coding Test

The subsequent stage in the vetting procedure is undoubtedly a talk to and stay computer programming examination. All of this transpires on the webcam and through CoderPad with 2 people through the Codeable staff. I found myself incredibly emphasized going into it and although they let you know to rest, it is still somewhat difficult immediately to truly unwind.

My internet access made a decision to eliminate at the start of the getting together with also following introductions, therefore I actually had to depart and are available back after having a quick reset whilst my cardiovascular system is a panic mode. Thankfully it didn’t have issues next, however, it included my anxiety stage.

The first enabled me to ask inquiries I needed and they answered them all. Trust me, I had lots of questions to ask so receiving these out of the way right at first was a comfort for me. We were actually onto the Customer Support part of the meet with where you stand provided different circumstances that may surface and you also focus on how you would deal with them. I have dealt with clients like a freelancer as well as at an agency for a lot of many years this one particular was a straightforward property operate in my opinion. I transferred that area with flying colors.

Upcoming up was the specific reside programming portion. If you’re like me and your human brain goes blank when a person tries to watch you rule over your arm, it’s somewhat much like that but not as bad. Because you don’t feel their looming existence behind you, it is actually much less distracting.

The initial few inquiries went effectively, and then I success a snag. Instead of studying the entire guidelines on the screen issue, I was just proceeding off of the quick summary assertion through the tester. I started to go into the panic method as I searched for what I thought I found it necessary to locate. I re-went through the code speaking out deafening when I went talking about everything, however, i wasn’t choosing the matter.

Ultimately, they lower me off and proved me whatever they were seeking. I exclaimed, “Oh that’s the things you wanted?! I realized that!” Luckily for me, they really managed to know that I recognized the answer they were hoping to find because I was speaking out loud because i went through the computer code and fortunately detailed what a pertinent percentage of it does.

I can’t expose any actual essentials, nevertheless, i accidentally saved myself by chatting out high in volume. By the end, I found myself told which they would tally most of my results from your tests to date and I would pick up back in the future. I was honestly less assured now next, but I was confident in everything i got done furthermore one issue.

Codeable Trial Period

I did it! I got beyond the testing segment and obtained the email that we experienced passed, but it was still not the end of the trip. If anything, the hardest part remained. This became the beginning of the 45 trial period where you needed to speak the discuss and go walking the go walking in the genuine foundation. Following having a few needed launch lessons, understanding the trick Codeable Blackbook, and establishing my personal information I began scouting the duties.

The tasks can come quickly and several professionals are really swift to respond. I acknowledge I used to be firearm timid for the solid day time prior to actually posting comments on my small first job. As soon as I broke the ice pack using that I needed to sharpen my abilities around the undertaking message boards and work to establish myself because the expert the customer would like to work with.

It is quite difficult for the newcomers as clientele oftentimes goes for that specialist that has completed 1500+ activities successfully over a person who has to 10. I ultimately acquired my very first job by means of an appointment, which managed cause work about a month in the future.

I at some point obtained the hang-up of this and began to get more activities more rapidly. I needed to damage the ice cubes and from now on I had been using a distinct difficulty of handling my time between Codeable and my regular job.

Good results!

Your day finally came where I had fully made it by way of my free trial. Not only was there a nice pile of extra cash during my banking account, but there seemed to be another congratulatory email with a WordPress expert certification during my inbox. I found myself excited and reduced finding this and you couldn’t wipe the smile away from my face. You will discover a fulfillment that accompanies generating one thing by means of challenging work and also the struggle was certainly there. It is an overwhelming thing to try together with the lower 2Per cent acceptance amount, however, you shouldn’t hesitate to test. If you get in, it comes with lots of positive aspects.

The Benefits of being a WordPress Expert

Every WordPress expert would reap the benefits of becoming a Codeable specialist and these are the basic main reasons why I locate it to be so beneficial.

A Group of Experts

You know that anyone in this group is actually a WordPress expert, but web development is such a broad discipline everyone could possibly have unique expertise in another region. When maybe you have a question in one of the weaker locations you are able to question it from the Codeable slack group and obtain an answer coming from a fellow expert who could be stronger in this region. Codeable programmers are a user group and despite it, as being an independent foundation the place you would count on competition, the group works similar to a helpful local community of coworkers than rivals.

Clientele come your way

Consumers appear from the Codeable program trying to find vetted professionals and you will find a wonderful constant stream of new task qualified prospects arriving through the day. They come in all day long, each day, 24/7. If you are an early morning riser or possibly a nighttime owl, you are able to craft your timetable, however, you want and there will still be new leads to suit your needs in the program. You don’t commit everything that time seeking your very own new clients, advertising yourself constantly to keep work arriving.

Codeable takes care of the marketing and advertising to usher in the customers and you are the person who actually gets to pick and choose from the work you might want to do. I personally enjoy focusing on website speed search engine optimization tasks, and therefore appears to be a reasonably everyday sort of process getting published by prospective clients. I have learned that clientele often come back to you again for additional work as you develop a romantic relationship along with them by your very first task.

Codeable Deals with all the Payment

Anyone who has done the trick as a freelancer recognizes that gathering funds from clients can be a job by itself. Regardless of if the customer just skips the monthly bill, contains your settlement hostage for more out from extant work, or perhaps is painfully late in paying out, it could be a nerve-racking scenario to suit your needs who is determined by that revenue to reside and pay your very own monthly bills.

The good news is for all of us, Codeable handles this entire charging procedure for yourself. Codeable usually takes customer repayments upfront and merely holds the money in escrow till the venture is completed. There is billing messiness in the expert’s conclusion, so (s)he could concentration solely on providing ideal last merchandise for that consumer.

Per hour Price Minimum requirements

A wonderful part of Codeable is that unlike other independent platforms, Codeable enforces minimum on an hourly basis charges. The costs come from $70 to $120 hourly as well as the freelancer reaches select what they really want to charge. That may fluctuate in accordance with the sort of work, the urgency, and experience.

There is a restriction of 5 professionals that can invest in any sort of project along with the quotations that are averaged with each other. Regardless of who your client decides to complete the work, they would be charged at the same cost. This prevents the race on the bottom part for pricing that occurs on other freelance web sites. No one can undercut other people just to have the work since it positive aspects no person to achieve that. Rather, it promotes industry experts to create a rapport using the clients.

While not the standard, you can find professionals who are generating six-physique earnings because of Codeable. It boils down to how well you are able to offer the value of the services you provide, how much of a coming back subscriber base you could make, and the time you add into Codeable which gets you to where you wish to be.

Numerous industry experts opt to work enough to spend the monthly bills and make use of the excess free time to travel or get pleasure from pastimes they love. Functioning at Codeable can help your home is lifestyle how you will like too.

Specific Perks

A special number of professional designers has provided some exclusive advantages. Codeable has partnerships with a lot of platforms that produce advantages for both the professionals themselves as well as their customers. There are obviously savings, but there are tests and demonstration accounts for some equipment and internet hosting suppliers that allow the advancement professionals to acquaint themselves using the goods and get expertise so they can comfortably work with one of these tools later on.

We get to see some impending technology and request concerns during distinctive webinars with organizations. These can serve to again familiarize us with a bit of new inbound tools or providers that may help us offer the buyer bottom well. Through the system of professionals, there are many other plugins and tools I have discovered through the personal slack funnel.

I had been capable to participate in a beta test for a new plug-in update (WP Compress) that I possessed never been open to before and therefore became a very cool image tool. In addition, I found out that industry experts on Codeable had a strong choice towards WP Rocket and so I chose to try out it too.

It offers now become my staple plugin in terms of pace advancement with WordPress. They have basically helped me remain on the leading edge of WordPress technologies and approaching advancements creating us a more powerful developer than I needed been just before.

Get Qualified or Employ a professional

It is your consider have a picture at joining the Codeable specialist community. Your journey starts off on this page. Best of luck!

When you are a bombarded independent designer or just require some help with WordPress you can even receive the help of a Codeable skilled. Jobs quotations are free to get so that it won’t hurt to share any project now. You will be certain to obtain your work performed correctly if you opt to move ahead by using it.

Visit Our Official website

Additional Resources:

https://wordpress.com/learn/

https://wordpress.org/support/article/new-to-wordpress-where-to-start/

https://wordpress.org/themes/consultant-lite/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WordPress

#WordPress Expert #WordPress Developer #wordpress

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squiltcodes · 5 years ago

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This week’s lab provided us with our first hands-on experience with coding, HTML in particular. It was really exciting to apply everything we’ve been learning in class in practical exercises, and see the code we implemented show up in an actual browser, even if it wasn’t directly a live web page (for the time being!). The class broke out into mini groups and worked as teams to complete individual challenges.

I had the pleasure of working with Paula, Marita and Linda, and it was genuinely so nice to actually get to speak to other students and colleagues for the first time since starting the course! Having to undergo an entire post-graduate course online (so far) has meant it’s difficult to get to know other people in the course, so it was a really pleasant experience to not only get to know them, but put our brains together to work on coursework and crack our first coding challenges.

I had set up my Tumblr, Stack Overflow and Free Code Camp accounts from the first lecture, but since then I have been getting more familiar with each platform and I’m really excited to see how different my capabilities will be at the end of the course compared to now having only used them for a brief amount of time. I feel as though I have a better appreciation for the work and skill that goes into designing beautiful websites now, and I hope that when I go to make my own website that I will draw inspiration from some beautiful websites I’ve seen that I will feature on this blog in due course.

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suzanneshannon · 6 years ago

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In Search of a Stack That Monitors the Quality and Complexity of CSS

Many developers write about how to maintain a CSS codebase, yet not a lot of them write about how they measure the quality of that codebase. Sure, we have excellent linters like StyleLint and CSSLint, but they only help at preventing mistakes at a micro level. Using a wrong color notation, adding a vendor prefix when you’re already using Autoprefixer, writing a selector in an inconsistent way... that kind of thing.

We’re constantly looking for ways to improve the way we write CSS: OOCSS, SMACSS, ITCSS, utility-first and more. But where other development communities seem to have progressed from just linters to tools like SonarQube and PHP Mess Detector, the CSS community still lacks tooling for deeper inspection than shallow lint rules. For that reason I have created Project Wallace, a suite of tools for inspecting and enforcing CSS quality.

What is Project Wallace?

At the core, Project Wallace is a group of tools that includes a command line interface, linter, analysis, and reporting

Here’s a quick rundown of those tools.

Command Line Interface

This lets you run CSS analytics on the command line and get statistics for any CSS that you feed it.

Example output for projectwallace.com

Constyble Linter

This is a linter designed specifically for CSS. Based on the analytics that Wallace generates, you can set thresholds that should not be exceeded. For example, a single CSS rule should not contain more than 10 selectors, or the average selector complexity should not be higher than three.

Analysis

Extract-CSS does exactly what the name says: Extract all the CSS from a webpage, so we can send it over to projectwallace.com for analysis.

Reporting

All analysis from Extract CSS is sent over to projectwallace.com where a dashboard contains all of the reporting of that data. It’s similar to CSS Stats, but it tracks more metrics and stores the results over time and shows them in a dashboard. It also shows the differences between to points in time, and many, many more features.

A complexity analysis generated by projectwallace.com

Analyzing CSS complexity

There aren’t many articles about CSS complexity but the one that Harry Roberts (csswizardry) wrote got stuck in my brain. The gist of it is that every CSS selector is basically a bunch of if-statements, which reminded me of taking computer science courses where I had to manually calculate cyclomatic complexity for methods. Harry’s article made perfect sense to me in the sense that we can write a module that calculates the complexity of a CSS selector — not to be confused with specificity, of course, because that’s a whole different can of worms when it comes to complexity.

Basically, complexity in CSS can appear in many forms, but here are the ones that I pay closest attention to when auditing a codebase:

The cyclomatic complexity of CSS selectors

Every part of a selector means another if-statement for the browser. Longer selectors are more complex than shorter ones. They are harder to debug, slower to parse for the browser and harder to override.

.my-selector {} /* 1 identifier */ .my #super [complex^="selector"] > with ~ many :identifiers {} /* 6 identifiers */

Declarations per ruleset (cohesion)

A ruleset with many declarations is more complex than a ruleset with a few declarations. The popularity of functional CSS frameworks like Tailwind and Tachyons is probably due to the relative "simplicity" of the CSS itself.

/* 1 rule, 1 declaration => cohesion = 1 */ .text-center { text-align: center; } /* 1 rule, 8 declarations => cohesion = (1 / 8) = 0.125 */ .button { background-color: blue; color: white; padding: 1em; border: 1px solid; display: inline-block; font-size: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; }

The number of source code lines

More code means more complexity. Every line of code that is written needs to be maintained and, as such, is included in the reporting.

Average selectors per rule

A rule usually contains 1 selector, but sometimes there are more. That makes it hard to delete certain parts of the CSS, making it more complex.

All of these metrics can be linted with Constyble, the CSS complexity linter that Project Wallace uses in its stack. After you’ve defined a baseline for your metrics, it’s a matter of installing Constyble and setting up a config file. Here’s an example of a config file that I’ve pulled directly from the Constyble readme file:

{ // Do not exceed 4095 selectors, otherwise IE9 will drop any subsequent rules "selectors.total": 4095, // We don't want ID selectors "selectors.id.total": 0, // If any other color than these appears, report an error! "values.colors.unique": ["#fff", "#000"] }

The cool part is that Constyble runs on your final CSS, so it does its thing only after all of your preprocessed work from Sass, Less, PostCSS or whatever you use. That way, we can do smart checks for the total amount of selectors or average selector complexity — and just like any linter, you can make this part of a build step where your build fails if there are any issues.

Takeaways from using Project Wallace

After using Project Wallace for a while now, I’ve found that it’s great for tracking complexity. But while it is mainly designed to do that, it’s also a great way to find subtle bugs in your CSS that linters may not find because of they’re checking preprocessed code. Here’s a couple of interesting things that I found:

I’ve stopped counting the amount of user stories in our sprints where we had to fix inconsistent colors on a website. Projects that are several years old and people entering and leaving the company: it’s a recipe for getting each and every brand color wrong on a website. Luckily, we implemented Constyble and Project Wallace to get stakeholder buy-in, because we were able to proof that the branding for our customer was spot on for newer projects. Constyble stops us from adding colors that are not in the styleguide.

A color graph proving that our color game is spot on. Only a handful of colors and only those that originate from the client’s styleguide or in the codebase.

I have installed Project Wallace webhooks at all the projects that I worked on at one of my former employers. Any time that new CSS is added to a project, it sends the CSS over to projectwallace.com and it’s immediately visible in the projects’ dashboard. This makes it pretty easy to spot when a particular selector of media query was added to the CSS.

"Hey, where did that orange go?" An example diff from projectwallace.com.

The CSS-Tricks redesign earlier this year meant a massive drop in complexity and filesize. Redesigns are awesome to analyze. It gives you the opportunity to take a small peek behind the scenes and figure out what and how the authors changed their CSS. Seeing what parts didn’t work for the site and new parts that do might teach you a thing or two about how rapidly CSS is moving forward.

A large international company based in the Netherlands once had more than 4,095 selectors in a single CSS file. I knew that they were growing aggressively in upcoming markets and that they had to support Internet Explorer 8+. IE9 stops reading all CSS after 4,095 selectors and so a good chunk of their CSS wasn’t applied in old IE browsers. I sent them an email and they verified the issue and fixed it right away by splitting the CSS into two files.

GitLab currently uses more than 70 unique font sizes. I’m pretty sure their typography system is complex, but this seems a little overly ambitious. Maybe it is because of some third party CSS, but that’s hard to tell.

A subset of the 70+ unique font-sizes used at GitLab.

When inheriting a project from other developers, I take a look at the CSS analytics just to get a feel about the difficult bits of the project. Did they use !important a lot? Is the average ruleset size comprehensible, or did they throw 20+ declarations at each one of them? What is the average selector length, will they be hard to override? Not having to resort to .complex-selector-override\[class\][class][class]...[class] would be nice.

A neat trick for checking that your minification works is to let Constyble check that the Lines of Code metric is not larger than 1. CSS minification means that all CSS is put on a single line, so the Lines of Code should be equal to 1!

A thing that kept happening in another project of mine was that the minification broke down. I had no idea, until a Project Wallace diff showed me how a bunch of colors were suddenly written like #aaaaaa instead of #aaa. This isn’t a bad thing necessarily, but it happened for so many colors at the same time, that something had to be out of order. A quick investigation showed me that I made a mistake in the minification.

StackOverflow has four unique ways of writing the color white. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it may be an indication of a broken CSS minifier or inconsistencies in the design system.

Facebook.com has more than 650 unique colors) in their CSS. A broken design system is starting to sound like a possibility for them, too.

A project for a former employer of mine showed input[type=checkbox]:checked+.label input[type=radio]+label:focus:after as the most complex selector. After inspecting carefully, we saw that this selector targets an input nested in another input. That’s not possible to do in HTML, and we figured that we must have forgotten a comma in our CSS. No linter warned us there.

Nesting in CSS preprocessors is cool, but can lead to buggy things, like @media (max-width: 670px) and (max-width: 670px), as I found in Syntax.fm.

This is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Project Wallace. There is so much more to learn and discover once you start analyzing your CSS. Don’t just look at your own statistics, but also look at what others are doing.

I have used my Constyble configs as a conversation piece with less experienced developers to explain why their build failed on complex chunks of CSS. Talking with other developers about why we’re avoiding or promoting certain ways of writing CSS is helpful in transferring knowledge. And it helps me keep my feet on the ground too. Having to explain something that I’ve been doing for years to a PHP developer who just wanted to help out makes me re-think why I’m doing things the way I do.

My goal is not to tell anyone what is right or what is wrong in CSS, but to create the tools so that you can verify what works for you and your peers. Project Wallace is here to help us make sense of the CSS that we write.

The post In Search of a Stack That Monitors the Quality and Complexity of CSS appeared first on CSS-Tricks.

In Search of a Stack That Monitors the Quality and Complexity of CSS published first on https://deskbysnafu.tumblr.com/

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thatsnotcanonpodcasts · 5 years ago

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Nintendo Lawyers, Home Gardening & Comic-Con At Home featuring Shaun from Comics2Movies

This week we invite our special guest Shaun Keenan, creator of Xtreme Champion Tournament (in which mythical and legendary heroes face off) to share his thoughts on some news from San Diego Comic Con.

Kicking things off, the Nerds discuss Nintendo's itchy DMCA trigger finger, they’ve taken down the tragically short-lived DirectX 12 Super Mario 64 Port. This was a fan work based on the Mario 64 decompilation project, reformed into a gorgeous 4k Ultra-Widescreen rendition of everyone's favourite plumber. And they also lost 2TB of data including user account details, which are now being used to hack people. Oops.

There's now one less reason to leave the house, since gardening provides a boost to your emotional well-being that is as powerful as going out for dinner or taking a run. Grow chickens and you have an excuse for a dinner and a run as well. So, is gardening the ultimate weapon against millennial depression memes?

Lastly, Shaun chips in to talk about SDCC's move to being an online only event. Pros: Better food. Better chairs. No lines. Cons: No costumes. No crowd excitement. It's a tough sell for some of us, but the rest of us are perfectly happy to stay at home.

This week, Professor broke his brain in HyperRogue and DJ confronted his fear of the dark in Alan Wake.

Come back next week, we miss you.

Nintendo Lawyers File Copyright Complaints Against Super Mario 64 PC Port

- https://torrentfreak.com/nintendo-lawyers-file-copyright-complaints-against-super-mario-64-pc-port-200508/

Gardening at home as good as exercise

-https://environment.princeton.edu/news/emotional-well-being-while-home-gardening-similar-to-other-popular-activities-study-finds/

- https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0169204619307297

Comic-Con 2020 is now an online event

-https://comicbook.com/comics/news/san-diego-comic-con-announces-online-show-making-fun-itself/

Games Played

Professor

–HyperRogue - https://store.steampowered.com/app/342610/HyperRogue/

Rating: 5/5

– Alan Wake - https://store.steampowered.com/app/108710/Alan_Wake/

Rating: 3.5/5

Other topics discussed

5G (In telecommunications, 5G is the fifth generation technology standard for cellular networks, which cellular phone companies began deploying worldwide in 2019, the planned successor to the 4G networks which provide connectivity to most current cellphones.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5G

VHS ( (short for Video Home System) is a standard for consumer-level analogvideo recording on tape cassettes.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VHS

Nintendo has reportedly suffered a significant legacy console leak

- https://www.videogameschronicle.com/news/nintendo-has-reportedly-suffered-a-significant-legacy-console-leak/

Sony Pictures hack (On November 24, 2014, a hacker group which identified itself by the name "Guardians of Peace" leaked a release of confidential data from the film studioSony Pictures.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sony_Pictures_hack

Team Fortress 2 and CS:GO source code leaks

- https://www.pcgamer.com/au/team-fortress-2-and-csgo-source-code-leak-raises-security-fears/

Mythbusters Experiment on Talking and Music Effects on Plant Growth

- http://www.bio.net/bionet/mm/plant-ed/2004-December/007770.html

Victory Garden (also called war gardens or food gardens for defense, were vegetable, fruit, and herb gardens planted at private residences and public parks in the United States,United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and Germany during World War I and World War II.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victory_garden

FarmBot: open source backyard robot for a fully automated garden

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqYrAWssrrY

Community gardening (A community garden is a single piece of land gardened collectively by a group of people.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_gardening

Comic-Con @ Home 2020 trailer

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbHnCt9GM5s&feature=emb_logo

Armageddon Expo (Armageddon Expo is a New Zealand owned and operated pop culture convention that holds multiple events around New Zealand in cities including Auckland, Wellington, Tauranga and Christchurch.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon_(convention)

- https://www.armageddonexpo.com/

Marvel Studios held a panel at San Diego Comic-Con where Feige announced the full Phase Four slate. This included five films to be released—Black Widow, The Eternals, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, and Thor: Love and Thunder—as well as five event series to be released on Disney+—The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,WandaVision,Loki, What If...?, and Hawkeye.

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvel_Cinematic_Universe:_Phase_Four#Development

Zoom meeting hackings also known as Zoom-bombings and security updates to avoid it

- https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/apr/23/zoom-update-security-encryption-bombing

Adam Savage from Mythbusters going Incognito at Comic-Con 2018. His costume this year is a replica of the first high-altitude pressure suit, made in 1935 for famed aviator Wiley Post.

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Nqfq3qjkfQ

HyperRogue game screenshot

- https://steamcdn-a.akamaihd.net/steam/apps/342610/ss_e0555239fea0e57fafd0ece149b568ecef60f571.1920x1080.jpg?t=1572831895

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla – Male and Female Eivor Are Both Canon Choices, Says Narrative Director

- https://gamingbolt.com/assassins-creed-valhalla-male-and-female-eivor-are-both-canon-choices-says-narrative-director

Blake’s 7 ((sometimes styled Blakes7) is a British science fiction television series produced by the BBC.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blake%27s_7

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5 is an American space opera television series created by writer and producer J. Michael Straczynski, under the Babylonian Productions label, in association with Straczynski's Synthetic Worlds Ltd. and Warner Bros. Domestic Television.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babylon_5

Fresh Prince of Bel Air - Uncle Phil Tries on Wig and Geoffrey saying ‘awopbopaloobop alopbamboom’

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eE0Wgov6ntE

Terralympus - Volume 1 & 2 - Space Sci-Fi Graphic Novel Kickstarter project by Stephen Kok & Shaun Keenan

- https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1917428739/terralympus-volume-1-and-2-space-sci-fic-graphic-novel

XCT: Fractured Worlds Kickstarter project by Shaun Keenan & Stephen Kok

- https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2067957354/xct-fractured-worlds

An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents (TNC Podcast)

- https://thatsnotcanon.com/grandiloquentspodcast

The Mistholme Museum Of Mystery, Morbidity, And Mortality (TNC Podcast)

- https://thatsnotcanon.com/themistholmemuseumpodcast

Check out more stuff from Comics2Movies including XCT & Terralympus

- https://www.comics2movies.com.au/

Shout Outs

4 May 2020 – Elon Musk’s son was born - https://people.com/parents/elon-musk-grimes-welcome-first-child/

The 32-year-old singer has given birth to her first child on Monday, her boyfriend Elon Musk confirmed in a tweet. Musk shared the exciting news on Twitter when a fan asked for an update on the baby after the Tesla CEO had previously shared that Grimes was due on Monday. In true Musk fashion, he also announced the baby's name was very outside the box telling fans his son was called X Æ A-12 Musk (pronounced "Ex Ash A Twelve"), although this may not be a legal name in California due to it containing characters that are not English letters. During a podcast with American comedian Joe Rogan, Musk explained the way to pronounce his son’s name. Responding to a question asked about his son’s name on ‘The Joe Rogan Experience’, Musk said, “First of all, my partner’s the one that mostly came up with the name. I mean it’s just X, the letter X, and the ‘Æ’ is pronounced, ‘Ash,’ and then, A-12 is my contribution.” He then elaborated that ‘A-12’ stood for “Archangel 12, the precursor to the SR-71, coolest plane ever.”

09 May 2020 – Little Richard passes away at 87 - https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/may/09/little-richard-dies-aged-83-rock-n-roll-pioneer

Richard Wayne Penniman (December 5, 1932 – May 9, 2020), better known as Little Richard, was an American singer, songwriter, and musician. An influential figure in popular music and culture for seven decades, he was nicknamed "The Innovator", "The Originator", and "The Architect of Rock and Roll". Penniman's most celebrated work dates from the mid-1950s, when his charismatic showmanship and dynamic music, characterized by frenetic piano playing, pounding backbeat and raspy shouted vocals, laid the foundation for rock and roll. His innovative emotive vocalizations and uptempo rhythmic music also played a key role in the formation of other popular music genres, including soul and funk. He influenced numerous singers and musicians across musical genres from rock tohip hop; his music helped shape rhythm and blues for generations to come. "Tutti Frutti", one of Penniman's signature songs, became an instant hit, crossing over to the pop charts in both the United States and the United Kingdom with the lyric ‘awopbopaloobop alopbamboom’, and a series of follow-up records helped establish the genre and influence a multitude of other musicians. Penniman was honored by many institutions. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as part of its first group of inductees in 1986. He was also inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame. He was the recipient of a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Recording Academy and a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Rhythm and Blues Foundation. He died from bone cancer in Tullahoma, Tennessee.

11 May 2020 – Jerry Stiller passes away at 92 - https://deadline.com/2020/05/jerry-stiller-dies-comedian-seinfeld-actor-92-ben-tribute-1202931049/

Jerry Stiller, the American comedian and actor who was one-half of the great 1960s husband-wife comedy team Stiller & Meara, a fan-favorite cornerstone of the sitcom Seinfeld and the father of Hollywood star Ben Stiller. Jerry Stiller is more well-known with his casting as Frank Costanza, the father of Jason Alexander’s George Costanza, a hot-tempered eccentric who once attempted to contain his rage at wife Estelle and son George (and, indeed, the world) by repeatedly chanting “Serenity Now.” On another classic episode, Frank, ever disgruntled with the status quo, invented his own holiday: Festivus, for, as he said, “the rest of us.” Among the holiday’s made-up traditions: physical feats of strength and the airing of grievances. This role which earned him an Emmy nomination. The year Seinfeld went off the air, Stiller began his role as the eccentric Arthur Spooner on the CBS comedy series The King of Queens, another role which garnered him widespread acclaim. Jerry was the father of actor Ben Stiller, and the father and son appeared together in films such as Zoolander,Heavyweights,Hot Pursuit, The Heartbreak Kid, and Zoolander 2. He also performed voice-over work for television and films including The Lion King 1½ and Planes: Fire and Rescue. In his later career, Stiller became known for playing grumpy and eccentric characters who were nevertheless beloved. He died from natural causes in New York City, New York. His son tweeted “I’m sad to say that my father, Jerry Stiller, passed away from natural causes. He was a great dad and grandfather, and the most dedicated husband to Anne for about 62 years. He will be greatly missed. Love you Dad.”

11 May 2020 – 15th Anniversary of World of Warcraft's Leeroy Jenkins Video - https://comicbook.com/gaming/news/world-of-warcraft-leeroy-jenkins-15th-anniversary/

On May 11th, 2004, a video was uploaded to the website Warcraft Movies that would have a major impact on World of Warcraft, and the culture surrounding the game. In the video, a team of players crafts an intricate plan, but one shouts "LEEROY JENKINS!" before charging into battle, unprepared, getting the entire party killed as they attempt to save him. The video went viral, and became one of the biggest memes in the history of World of Warcraft, and the internet in general. Since then, Leeroy Jenkins has been referenced on Jeopardy!, The Daily Show, and even on Family Guy. For many World of Warcraft fans, it holds a special place in their hearts. For years, World of Warcraft fans debated whether or not the video showed a real planning session that went awry, or a staged event. The video's creators, Ben Schultz and Ben "Anfrony" Vinson, intentionally answered ambiguously about it for years. In 2017, Vinson released a video showing an initial, failed attempt, proving that the Leeroy Jenkins video actually was staged. While the video itself was staged, no one involved could have predicted what a major impact it would have on World of Warcraft. Fandom can often have a strange impact on popular culture, and that has never been truer than it is in the internet era. The Leeroy Jenkins video is not the only time that a company has leaned into an internet meme, but it's certainly one of the earliest examples. When Schultz, Vinson, and the rest of their friends created the video, they had no idea it would catch on in the way that it did. Others have tried to replicate the success of Leeroy Jones, but the video certainly stands as a unique moment in popular culture.

Remembrances

12 May 805 – Æthelhard - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%86thelhard

Bishop of Winchester then an Archbishop of Canterbury in medieval England. Æthelhard is deposed by Eadbert II (Praen) when he seizes the kingdom of Kent from Mercian overlordship. Æthelhard flees to the court of his Mercian supporters and refuses to venture back to Canterbury, even though it seems safe. In 803, he returns to England from Rome and convenes the Council of Clovesho (Clofesho), which re-establishes the prime importance of Canterbury and, with papal authority, asserts the freedom of the church from secular authority. He died in Canterbury. He was later revered as a saint, with a feast day of 12 May.

12 May 1856 - Jacques Philippe Marie Binet - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Philippe_Marie_Binet

French mathematician,physicist and astronomer, he made significant contributions to number theory, and the mathematical foundations of matrix algebra which would later lead to important contributions by Cayley and others. In his memoir on the theory of the conjugate axis and of the moment of inertia of bodies he enumerated the principle now known as Binet's theorem. He is also recognized as the first to describe the rule for multiplying matrices in 1812, and Binet's Formula expressing Fibonacci numbers in closed form is named in his honour, although the same result was known to Abraham de Moivre a century earlier. The Binet equation, provides the form of a central force given the shape of the orbital motion in plane polar coordinates. The equation can also be used to derive the shape of the orbit for a given force law, but this usually involves the solution to a second order nonlinear ordinary differential equation. A unique solution is impossible in the case of circular motion about the center of force. He died at the age of 70 in Paris.

12 May 1994 - Erik Erikson - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Erikson

Erik Homburger Erikson, was a German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on psychological development of human beings. He may be most famous for coining the phrase identity crisis. Despite lacking a bachelor's degree, Erikson served as a professor at prominent institutions, including Harvard,University of California, Berkeley, and Yale. A Review of General Psychology survey, published in 2002, ranked Erikson as the 12th most cited psychologist of the 20th century. The development of identity seems to have been one of Erikson's greatest concerns in his own life as well as being central to his theoretical work. As an older adult, he wrote about his adolescent "identity confusion" in his European days. "My identity confusion", he wrote "[was at times on] the borderline between neurosis and adolescent psychosis." Erikson is also credited with being one of the originators of ego psychology, which stressed the role of the ego as being more than a servant of the id. Although Erikson accepted Freud's theory, he did not focus on the parent-child relationship and gave more importance to the role of the ego, particularly the person's progression as self. According to Erikson, the environment in which a child lived was crucial to providing growth, adjustment, a source of self-awareness and identity. He died at the age of 91 in Harwich, Massachusetts.

Famous Birthdays

12 May 1895 - William Giauque - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Giauque

American chemist and Nobel laureate recognized in 1949 for his studies in the properties of matter at temperatures close to absolute zero. He spent virtually all of his educational and professional career at the University of California, Berkeley. He became interested in the third law of thermodynamics as a field of research during his experimental research for his Ph.D. research under Professor George Ernest Gibson comparing the relative entropies of glycerine crystals and glass. He principal objective of his researches was to demonstrate through range of appropriate tests that the third law of thermodynamics is a basic natural law. In 1926, he proposed a method for observing temperatures considerably below 1 Kelvin (1 K is −457.87 °F or −272.15 °C). He developed a magnetic refrigeration device of his own design in order to achieve this outcome, getting closer to absolute zero than many scientists had thought possible. This trailblazing work, apart from proving one of the fundamental laws of nature led to stronger steel, better gasoline and more efficient processes in a range of industries. He was born in Niagara Falls, Ontario.

12 May 1918 - Julius Rosenberg - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_and_Ethel_Rosenberg

Julius Rosenberg, American citizens who were convicted of spying on behalf of the Soviet Union. Him and his wife Ethel Rosenberg were accused of providing top-secret information about radar, sonar, jet propulsion engines, and valuable nuclear weapon designs; at that time the United States was the only country in the world with nuclear weapons. Julius Rosenberg joined the Army Signal Corps Engineering Laboratories at Fort Monmouth, New Jersey, in 1940, where he worked as an engineer-inspector until 1945. He was fired when the US Army discovered his previous membership in the Communist Party. Important research on electronics, communications, radar and guided missile controls was undertaken at Fort Monmouth during World War II. In February 1944, Rosenberg succeeded in recruiting a second source of Manhattan Project information, engineer Russell McNutt, who worked on designs for the plants at Oak Ridge National Laboratory. For this success, Rosenberg received a $100 bonus. McNutt's employment provided access to secrets about processes for manufacturing weapons-grade uranium. The USSR and the US were allies during World War II, but the Americans did not share information about or seek assistance from the Soviet Union regarding the Manhattan Project. The West was shocked by the speed with which the Soviets were able to stage their first nuclear test, "Joe 1," on August 29, 1949. He was born in Manhattan, New York City, New York.

12 May 1970 - Bruce Boxleitner - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Boxleitner

Bruce William Boxleitner, American actor, and science fiction and suspense writer. He is known for his leading roles in the television series such as How the West Was Won and Babylon 5 (as John Sheridan in seasons 2–5, 1994–98). He is also known for his dual role as the characters Alan Bradley and Tron in the 1982 Walt Disney Pictures film Tron, a role which he reprised in the 2003 video game Tron 2.0, the 2006 Square-Enix/Disney crossover game Kingdom Hearts II, the 2010 film sequel, Tron: Legacy and the animated series Tron: Uprising. In July 2015 Boxleitner said that he is done with the franchise, as "it's been too up and down for me. I would rather not just keep going. I don't want to repeat my career anymore." He has also starred in several films within the Babylon 5 universe, including Babylon 5: In the Beginning, Babylon 5: Third space, Babylon 5: A Call to Arms, and the direct-to-DVD Babylon 5: The Lost Tales. He was born in Elgin, Illinois.

Events of Interest

12 May 1926 – The Italian-built airship Norge becomes the first vessel to fly over the North Pole. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norge_(airship)#Polar_expedition

Umberto Nobile, the airship's designer and pilot explained the Norge trip was to observe the uncharted sea between the Pole and Alaska where some thought land was; at the time he believed Robert Edwin Peary had already reached the pole. On 12 May at 01.25 (GMT) they reached the North Pole, at which point the Norwegian, American and Italian flags were dropped from the airship onto the ice. Amundsen the expedition leader and navigator and polar explorer Oscar Wisting who served as helmsman were thereby the first to reach both poles. Relations between Amundsen and Nobile, which had been strained in the freezing, cramped and noisy conditions became even worse when Amundsen saw that the Italian flag dropped was larger than either of the others. Amundsen later recalled with scorn that under Nobile, the airship had become "a circus wagon in the sky". This was now unknown territory and Amundsen sat at the front of the cabin to look for any land. Unfortunately, they came into thick fog at 8.30 am which made it impossible to see down on either ice or land. The fog stuck to the airship as a layer of ice and lumps of ice were thrown from the propellers and into the balloon skin, with the resulting danger of puncture. Running repairs were made as far as possible from the keel space.

12 May 1941 – Konrad Zuse presents the Z3, the world's first working programmable, fully automatic computer, in Berlin. - https://www.inverse.com/article/15542-konrad-zuse-s-z3-the-world-s-first-programmable-computer-was-unveiled-75-years-ago

Zuse presented the Z3, built in his workshop, to the public. The Z3 was a binary 22-bit floating point calculator featuring programmability with loops but without conditional jumps, with memory and a calculation unit based on telephone relays. The telephone relays used in his machines were largely collected from discarded stock. Despite the absence of conditional jumps, the Z3 was a Turing complete computer. However, Turing-completeness was never considered by Zuse (who had practical applications in mind) and only demonstrated in 1998. The Z3, the first fully operational electromechanical computer, was partially financed by German government-supported DVL, which wanted their extensive calculations automated. The Z3 revolutionized computing. It was used to help calculate aerodynamics in aircraft design, which the UK’s Centre for Computing History says helped the German Aircraft Research Institute in its analysis. We’re used to today’s computers reading programs from solid state storage, but the Z3 read its programs off of punched film.

12 May 2015 – Massive Nepal earthquake kills 218 people and injures more than 3500. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_2015_Nepal_earthquake

A major earthquake occurred in Nepal on 12 May 2015 at 12:50 pm local time with a moment magnitude of 7.3, 18 km (11 mi) southeast of Kodari. The epicenter was on the border of Dolakha and Sindhupalchowk, two districts of Nepal. This earthquake occurred on the same fault as the larger magnitude 7.8 earthquake of 25 April, but further east than the original quake. As such, it is considered to be an aftershock of 25 April quake. It struck at a depth of 18.5 kilometres (11.5 mi). Shaking was felt in northern parts of India including Bihar, Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal. Tremors were felt as far as about 2,400 kilometers away from the epicenter in Chennai. Minutes later, another 6.3 magnitude earthquake hit Nepal with its epicenter inRamechhap, east of Kathmandu. The earthquake was felt in Bangladesh, China and many other states in India. The impact of these tremors was felt even 1,000 kilometres away in the Indian capital New Delhi, where buildings shook and office workers evacuated. According to geophysicist Amy Vaughan, the 12 May quake is likely a sign that more aftershocks are on the way. "Generally, in the days and weeks and months [seismic activity] tapers off", she said. "But ... this is going to temporarily increase [the aftershocks]".

12 May 2017 – The WannaCry ransomware attack impacts over 400 thousand computers worldwide, targeting computers of the United Kingdom's National Health Services and Telefónica computers. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WannaCry_ransomware_attack

The WannaCry ransomware attack was a May 2017 worldwidecyberattack by the WannaCry ransomware cryptoworm, which targeted computers running the Microsoft Windows operating system by encrypting data and demanding ransom payments in the Bitcoin cryptocurrency. It propagated through EternalBlue, an exploit developed by the United States National Security Agency (NSA) for older Windows systems. While Microsoft had released patches previously to close the exploit, much of WannaCry's spread was from organizations that had not applied these, or were using older Windows systems that were past their end-of-life. The attack was halted within a few days of its discovery due to emergency patches released by Microsoft and the discovery of a kill switch that prevented infected computers from spreading WannaCry further. The attack was estimated to have affected more than 200,000 computers across 150 countries, with total damages ranging from hundreds of millions to billions of dollars. Security experts believed from preliminary evaluation of the worm that the attack originated from North Korea or agencies working for the country. The ransomware campaign was unprecedented in scale according to Europol, which estimates that around 200,000 computers were infected across 150 countries. According to Kaspersky Lab, the four most affected countries were Russia,Ukraine,India and Taiwan. One of the largest agencies struck by the attack was the National Health Service hospitals in England and Scotland, and up to 70,000 devices – including computers, MRI scanners, blood-storage refrigerators and theatre equipment – may have been affected. On 12 May, some NHS services had to turn away non-critical emergencies, and some ambulances were diverted. According to cyber-risk-modeling firm Cyence, economic losses from the cyber attack could reach up to US$4 billion, with other groups estimating the losses to be in the hundreds of millions.

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