#humanland

[fintan-pyren]

You missed the maple syrup because that's fucking Saskatchewan, Keefe

⬇️picture for reference

where are you going to find the trees to make maple syrup

[goobie-goobert]

Phibians…..

[abdi-basidadan]

Estimation of Lunar Surface Shock Effects and Optimization of Damping Scenarios: A Case Study in Response to NASA's Request for Proposal

Abdi-Basid Ibrahim ADAN** Correspondance : abdi-basid@outlook.com

The aim of the present work is to respond to NASA's request for proposals on understanding and reducing the adverse effects of landing or take-off on the lunar surface. Two initiatives can be developed. The first is that of a natural satellite with no atmospheric layer, which suggests that any particle will fall at the same speed in the absence of any air friction effects. A rocket could land without any major impact.  The second is to take into account an atmosphere above the lunar surface. Terrestrial particles are likely to form and remain in suspension for some time. To remedy this situation, six scenarios were explored. Two alternatives have emerged from these investigations:

The first is the installation of a device (rocket accessories) to reduce the effects of the fuselage during ascent;

The second is the integration of new features into the rocket, such as vertical fuselages or a folding and unfolding locomotion slide to move the dust cloud away from the formation zone.

Keywords : NASA,Landing,Moon,Regolith,Lift-off,Artemis,StarshipVirginia,Hampton,Human Lander

1.      Introduction

In space, granular and rocky materials are subject to both gravitational and atmospheric circulation forces during a disturbance. The latter derives its ancestral force from temperature, i.e. solar radiation [1]. Without the existence of an atmospheric layer and the spherical shape, atmospheric circulation modelling would certainly have taken a wrong turn. On the lunar surface, the conditions of reasonable distance from the solar source (i.e. 150,000,000 km [2]) and sphericity can be an asset for comparison with the Earth. In the absence of a layer of air enveloping its surface, the equilibrium of a homogeneous spatial temperature distribution around a mean value cannot be justified on the lunar surface (unlike Saturn's moon Titan). For this reason, winds would not exist on the moon, nor would a sandstorm or cyclonic season. In this case, the moon's sphericity would only be useful in the vertical meridian zone, to facilitate a short-distance landing, unlike at the north and south poles.

The aim of this first work is to contribute to a philosophical understanding of how granular and rocky materials of all sizes can behave on the lunar surface after being exposed to the landing or take-off force of a rocket weighing several thousand tonnes.

Until now, rocket take-off and landing missions have been carried out in vertical motion and are assumed to have the same impact effect on surfaces, even if the weight of the re-launch is slightly different from that of the ascent, due to the variation in the weight of the on-board fuel.

The gravity field on the lunar surface is calculated at 1.62 m/s2 [3], i.e. a gravitational acceleration some six times lower than on the Earth's surface (9.81 m/s2 [4]). An Artemis rocket with crew and cargo can weigh at least 2,000 tonnes [5]. The amount of fuel and its weight are astronomically proportional to the mission's round-trip distance, engine efficiency and on-board engine technology.

For a landing mission, there is a threshold altitude at which a surface covered in dust and rock is touched by the propulsion force (e.g. 39,144 kN [5]), which keeps the weight of the craft suspended in the void and slows down gravitational attraction. In principle, the slower the ascent, the greater the impact on the surface. Contrary to what happens on Earth, the return to normal after an ascent impact on the lunar surface for a landing mission would be faster with the same time interval, whatever the characteristics of the seed and rock lifted. For rocks thrown up with kinetic force, the impact does not seem to affect the craft directly or indirectly. On the other hand, the stronger the gravitational field, the faster the rocket's ascent is expected to be, so as not to over-consume on-board fuel, while avoiding a hard landing that would disable many of the craft's functions and features. Given the Earth's gravity field, a lunar landing mission would be around six times slower and six times more fuel-efficient.

In addition, thanks to the Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer (LADEE) mission, recent studies [6,7] have changed our perception of the Moon, confirming the presence of a lunar atmosphere, albeit almost negligible compared with that of the Earth. The sources of this atmosphere can be multiple: meteorite bombardment, rock decomposition, solar eruptions, etc.

When examining the lunar atmospheric layer, it will be vitally important to understand the atmospheric pressure with the elements that make up the lunar atmosphere, mainly argon, helium, sodium and hydrogen. The shock effect on the lunar surface would be based essentially on the interaction potentials of these latter chemical elements.

With a view to providing some answers to NASA's project, the remainder of this article is organized as follows:

- First, we analyze an approach in which atmospheric cover is neglected.

- Secondly, we counter this approach by proposing scenarios and draft solutions.

2.      Analysis of the Artemis landing mission: case without lunar atmosphere

The riskiest incident on a lunar mission would not be the suspension of rocks and other particles in lunar space, since all rocks, whatever their size, would fall at the same speed. In addition, the spiral effect observed in the drag of turbojet aircraft would not exist on the Moon, due to the absence of air particles. What's more, the projections caused by the blast effect on landing will be projected in all directions, from the source of the ascent to extremities whose distance is proportional to the force. In this context, the risks of a mission to the Moon are much lower than on Earth. Impact with the surface does not directly or indirectly endanger the spacecraft, except in the case of nearby installations.

Prospecting the lunar surface and its stiffness composition would appear to be an indispensable asset in the study of an initial landing strip. Meteorite impact zones can represent a major hazard for rocket landings and take-offs. Projections of elements from the lunar surface can cause fallout on the rocket, due to its specific funnel shape at the point of impact with the lunar surface. The geological characteristics of the more rigid zones should be compared between the Moon's surface and that of the Earth, in order to identify an optimum zone for reducing the impact of rocket engine propulsion.

 3.      Analysis of the Artemis landing mission: case with lunar atmosphere

In this section, we analyze five scenarios whose feasibility seems to be approaching with the maturity of current technologies. This section takes into account the importance of the lunar atmosphere and proposes solutions to avoid complications with the dust cloud during ascent.

 3.1.           Scenario 1 : absorption

In the scenario shown in figure 1, at a precise and optimal altitude during ascent, the rocket detaches a circular capsule (which can be unfolded and folded), absorbing the propelled granular and rocky materials and releasing the absorbed air by filtering. This device is designed to withstand the extreme temperature of the fuselage, and to incorporate artificial intelligence to identify rocks according to their respective risks. The prototype shown in figure 1 is essentially based on the capacity and performance of rock and dust aspirators, which will be released at a given altitude before landing. The parameters of these aspirators will be designed to ensure a safe landing of Artemis on the lunar surface.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Figure 1. Circular vacuum cleaner for dust and granules.

 3.2.           Scenario 2 : parachuting

The scenario described in figure 2 involves parachutes being released to trap granular and rocky material rising towards the summit during ascent.  The number of parachutes used may vary to optimize landing safety. The characteristics of these parachutes must correspond to the results expected for the safety mission. In addition, each parachute must be equipped with a device that detects and predicts the area most affected by the fuselage explosion, in order to optimize deployment on the priority area. This requires the use of artificial intelligence. The feasibility of such a device seems certain to reduce rock and granule heave, as well as the formation of dust clouds.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Figure 2. Case of a parachute trapping the effects of shock.

                                                                             3.3.           Scenario 3 : artificial vat

The scenario in figure 3 describes a prototype that deploys a device capable of sinking into the lunar soil (like a tomahawk missile) and deploying a kind of metal tank inside the soil. The latter is adapted to the overheated condition and will contain the blast, while sparing the lunar soil from being impacted by the blast.

This will prevent the formation of dust clouds and reduce the risk of dust impacting the rocket engine during landing [8].

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Figure 3. Case of a tank sinking to the surface of the moon.

 3.4.           Scenario 4 : surface copper

In the scenario below (figure 4), as the rocket ascends, at a precise and ideal altitude, a slide ejects from the rocket and deploys over a wide lunar surface to serve as a landing point and avoid the lifting of granules and other rocky material. Unlike the previous scenario, this is a surface deployment with automatic ground engagement. This shows just how important automatic devices and artificial intelligence are for this mission.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Figure 4. Fold-out copper case as landing point.

 3.5.           Scenario 5 : fuselage horizontal

In the scenario shown in Figure 5, the rocket fuselage would have to be redesigned to incorporate a new vertical fuselage system capable of slowing down gravity. Self-deploying vertical fuselages are intended to compensate for the traditional fuselage. This approach will minimize the blast effect of the fuselage on the lunar surface.

Other modifications can also be made, including the integration of a wheel to help the rocket move away from the dust closud formation zone after landing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Figure 5. Feasibility scenario of additional fuselage rotation during Artemis landing.

 3.6.           Scenario 6 : dust cover

In the final scenario of the Artemis mission back to the moon, the ship's skin should have physico-chemical properties that prevent dust from clinging to the ship. This proposal, presented in figure 6, can be based on the secret of dust adhering to materials, allowing the rocket to remain free of dust and rocks, while landing safely. In addition, it is possible to develop a device that propels small quantities of water to wet the dust and limit its effects.

                                                                                                                                                                     Figure 6. Feasibility case for a dust cover on the Artemis surface.

 4.      Relationship between distance, weight, projection effects and landing time

In this subsection, we set up an empirical program to model the impact phenomenon on a surface covered with dust and rock :

We consider the variables :

Ø  T, existence of atmospheric circulation

Ø  U, the surface area of the impact zone

Ø  V, rocket landing time.

Ø  W, shock absorption time.

Ø  X, rocket weight;

Ø  Y, local gravity field;

Ø  Z, kinetic force of the projected lunar rock fragment.

Based on this program, the following hypotheses can be formulated:

1.      The surface area of the impact zone increases with the weight of the rocket.

2.      The existence of atmospheric circulation contributes to a major risk during ascent.

3.       Landing time contributes to rocket blast impact area.

4.      Time to return to normal after landing depends on gravity and the existence of an atmosphere.

5.      The weight of the rocket is positively correlated with the level of risk of danger from surface impact effects.

To minimize the risk of clouds of dust and rocky material forming during the ascent of Artemis, this would require simulations based on mathematical formulations that describe the relationships between the variables defined above. In addition, observations of each of these variables can be used to develop a simpler model with a study of multidimensional variation.

 Conclusion

On the lunar surface, a rocket will weigh 6 times less than on Earth. Rock fragments and the formation of lunar dust clouds can be mitigated by studying the physical properties of the chemical particles that make up the lunar atmosphere. The disturbance of lunar surface materials during rocket ascent is due not only to the gravity field, but also to the atmosphere, whose density is almost negligible for the moon.

Landing with the least possible effect will require the invention of new prototypes incorporating artificial intelligence to maximize decision-making in the shortest possible time. Fuselage modifications and the integration of new rocket functionalities will also be required.

 Reference 

1.      Brian Hurley. (2012). D'où vient le vent ? Wind Site Evaluation Ltd.

 2.      Pierre Bessemoulin,Jean Oliviéri. (2000).LE RAYONNEMENT SOLAIRE ET SA COMPOSANTE ULTRAVIOLETTE.La Météorologie 8e 42 série - n° 31.

 3.      Dean Leslie Muirhead. (2021) .Development of a Planetary Water Treatment System. 50th International Conference on Environmental Systems ICES-2021-36.

 4.      Sergio L. Pinski, M.D., 2002, Cleveland Clinic Florida, 2950 Cleveland Clinic Blvd., Weston, FL 33331. (954) 659-5292.

 5.      Wikipedia. https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemis_I.[Accessed 03/06/2023].

 6.      Horányi, M., Sternovsky, Z., Lankton, M., Dumont, C., Gagnard, S., Gathright, D., … Wright, G. (2014). The Lunar Dust Experiment (LDEX) Onboard the Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer (LADEE) Mission. Space Science Reviews, 185(1-4), 93–113. doi:10.1007/s11214-014-0118-7.

 7.      Elphic, R. C., Delory, G. T., Hine, B. P., Mahaffy, P. R., Horanyi, M., … Noble, S. K. (2014). The Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer Mission. Space Science Reviews, 185(1-4), 3–25. doi:10.1007/s11214-014-0113-z.

 8.      A Korzun, M Mehta. Plume-Surface Interaction: Maturing Predictive Environments for Propulsive Landing on the Moon and Mars International Planetary Probe Workshop 2021. ntrs.nasa.gov

[babykimora]

If we have to suffer through a whole Keefe in humanland book can we at least get chapter 42 through his POV with it

[kopfkino-o]

My predictions for the rest of the ACOTAR series go something sorta like this…

ACOTAR 5: Elain x Azriel

Elain conquers her Mountain (the Prison). Spy Elain arc with a friendship with Nuala and Cerridwen. Azriel is her love interest and together they deal with their respective traumas. Elain finally gets to choose, and Azriel is finally chosen. A conversation between Mor and Az clears up the dynamic between them. A subplot involving a friendship between Elain and Lucien that leads them to mutually deciding to reject the bond. Koschei breaks free at the end of the book.

Theme(s): Fate vs Freewill, Self-Autonomy

NOVELLA: Prequel

A prequel novella surrounding the events of Prythian during the reign of the Daglan. Theia, Fionn, and Pelias are major characters. We learn more about what happened and about the dynamic between them. Koschei and the Death God siblings will also have some role, giving us more background on them. This sets up a potential full-fledged crossover series (Twilight of the Gods) or just simply introduces the idea of a multiverse for ACOTAR-only readers. Information learned in this will also set up things for the final ACOTAR book.

Theme(s): Power & Corruption, Hubris (?)

ACOTAR 6: Lucien x Vassa

Lucien goes back to the Spring Court or Humanlands to deal with Koschei. His love interest is Vassa and he has a friendship with Jurian. Eris and Lady of Autumn are also somehow involved. Koschei forces Vassa back to his creepy lake. Vassa’s relationships with the other trapped women is explored. Lucien discovers his heritage and spell-cleaving powers. Helion plays some sort of role in this. Lucien uses these powers to free Vassa and finally defeat Koschei, most likely with the support of the three Archeron sisters and the three bat boys. Vassa and Lucien end up reigning as High King and Queen of both Prythian and the Humans. The story ends with an epilogue that gives us a look into what the rest of the main characters do in the future and where other side characters end up.

Theme: Identity, Family

The End!

[overlyimmersed]

🎁🎉🎂Happy Birthday Harlequin!🎂🎉🎁

Last year I designed an outfit for him, and I intend to do that this year as well, but since it took me till the 27th to finish Elaine's(her birthdays was the 15th) I'm not super confident that I'll have that finished on time. If I do, you're probably looking at that right now, but if not! Then at least this will be out on time.

Well that didn't work... My sleep schedual betrayed me and I didn't even get this posted on time... I meant to take a nap. I set 3 alarms. Did not work. Slept for 15 hours...

Anyway, this year, along side the outfit design, I'll also be doing an analysis that I've been wanting to do for quite a long while.

A name analysis!

Most of the characters in The Seven Deadly Sins -at least the important ones- have names relating to Arthurian myth, as the story is kind a based in it. But this, oddly enough, doesn't apply to almost any of the Fairies, even Harlequin -AKA "King"- despite him being one of the titular characters.

Meliodas and Ban are the fathers of two of Arthur's knight, Tristian and Lancelot respectively, Merlin is Merlin, iirc there are two different Escanors depending on the story, and Gowther is...apparently Merlin's half-brother according a glance at google... Diane's namesake is a little harder to track down, but she's not directly Arthurian either from what I can gather. As far as I know the only Fairy who does align with Arthurian myth is Elaine, but the Elaine that's Ban's wife is not the only Elaine you'll find in Arthurian stories, it was a common name.

Anyway

Most people know the word "harlequin". Simply put it's a french clown.

-Oh and apparently also a duck XD

BUT

Not everyone who knows that, knows where the word comes from, or what the king of the Fairies would have it for a name.

The origin of the word is actually a lot older than the french clown concept and isn't actually french all the way back. here's what Google has to say;

"late 16th century: from obsolete French, from earlier Herlequin (or Hellequin ), the name of the leader of a legendary troop of demon horsemen; perhaps ultimately related to Old English Herla cyning ‘King Herla’, a mythical figure sometimes identified with Woden."

I actually learned this from a youtube video some years back, by Overly Sarcastic Productions. It's a Halloween episode discussing the concept of the "Wild Hunt". I highly recommend the video and the channel as a whole, they're really great, very funny and you learn a lot. The video is a little under 17 minutes long, though, so if you're only interested in the part relevant this analysis jump to 11:05 in the video.

For anyone who doesn't want to watch that and would rather read me summerize it, in the video it's explained that the Scandinavian version of the Wild Hunt is called "Odin's Hunt" but in Old English it's called "Herlaþing" which means "Herla's Assembly". Herla being a King of the Britons who makes a deal with a dwarf where the two attend each other's weddings. The dwarf is a perfect guest at Herla's wedding and the following year Herla goes to the dwarf kingdom to return the favor. When he leaves the dwarf gives him a hunting dog and warns him not to get off his horse till the dog does. When they get back the dog doesn't get off the horse, Herla asks a random person they pass how his wife is doing only to find out that 3 days in dwarfland = 300 years in humanland. Some of his men are shocked and get off their horses, only to age to dust when they touch the ground, so Herla is stuck riding his horse for eternity.

The concept of an eternal wander was popular and in the 11th century a french monk/chronicler used the phrase "Familia Herlequin" to describe a host of demons pursuing a monk, lead by a masked giant. This masked hunt leader would evolve into the character we now know as a "harlequin", a trickster character is french passion plays.

God, king and trickster presented as a fool, that actually kinda tracks, doesn't it?

And that, is why the king of the Fairies is named Harlequin.

[erikahammerschmidt]

I actually think Terry Pratchett kinda missed an opportunity to show just how mind-blowing the culture clash between humans and dwarves would be. The more you think about it, the more of an absolute mindfuck you realize it is-- far beyond how it's ever described in the books.

But it would have been genuinely hard to describe, in a way humans could grasp, just how brain-breakingly weird it would be.

I'll give it a try, though.

Imagine (for the sake of simplicity) that you have always lived in Relatable Humanland. Where people wear baseball caps and tennis shoes, call themselves I and Me, eat chocolate and don't eat cockroaches, and do not care at all whether your navel is an innie or an outie.

Then imagine that you travel to Bizarro Bellyworld.

This is a place that's very unlike what you're used to, in lots of ways-- many of which are centered around the fact that their society does, in fact, attach a whole lot of importance to the difference between innie and outie bellybuttons.

Those with outies, you notice, are culturally more similar to people back home:

If you have an outie, you're expected to wear baseball caps and tennis shoes. If you have an innie, you're expected to wear rainbow clown wigs and diving flippers.

People with outies call themselves I and Me, while people with innies call themselves Glip and Glop.

Chocolate and cockroaches are both popular foods here, but chocolate is for outies, and cockroaches are for innies.

As an average Relatable Humanlander, whose taste in clothes, snacks and first-person pronouns is perfectly standard for your homeland… you have just happened to walk into Bizarro Bellyworld with your clothing, language and food preferences all set to Outie Presentation. Maybe no one else will see your bellybutton in your entire time there, but they will assume, from everything else about you, that it's an outie.

And this will be important to them!

And they will have difficulty even understanding that all these behaviors do not, inherently, mean "outie bellybutton" to you! To them, your sneakers and cap are a dishonest disguise if there's not actually an outie somewhere between them. Your use of I/me pronouns is a way of literally SAYING which way your navel points. If they were to find out otherwise, they would consider you a liar! Their minds just cannot comprehend how totally irrelevant this whole business is to you.

This is how I imagine most dwarves would feel when they first arrived in Ankh-Morpork.

To the average mountain dwarf, Cheery Littlebottom and the other feminine-presenting dwarves who follow her example must seem just as weird as Relatable Humanlanders who come back from Bizarro Bellyworld wearing clown wigs and flippers, eating cockroaches, and talking about themselves in the Glop person.

And, looking at it from the dwarven viewpoint, it's hard to imagine that they even cared whether or not the dwarves embracing these Bizarro trends were following the Bizarro rules about who could and couldn't dress and act that way based on their anatomy. The sheer weirdness of the style, itself, would have to be the main issue.

Because… traditional dwarves did not have skirts and dresses, for anyone at all. They did not have lipstick or earrings. They did not have feminine pronouns-- they had the same pronouns for everyone, which apparently got translated into Ankh-Morporkian as "he/him," but had always been used a lot more neutrally on dwarven soil. The Ankh-Morpork versions of all these things would just look… utterly alien to them.

And there would be lots of unreasonable prejudice against it, because that is what often happens when people encounter things they find weird and unfamiliar.

In the books this isn't a particularly ham-handed metaphor. It gives hints, here and there, that the traditional dwarves' reaction may be analogous to sexism against women, and also transphobia. But to me (an admittedly barely-human mind, who spends a lot of time looking at humanity as an outsider from some other world) the clearest analogue would be simple nonbinary bafflement at the very concept of gender roles.

[amrago]

Happy WBW! What's the harshest part of your world? Be it a place, a law, something character-created or otherwise, what is just HARSH?

The harshes place in the world is... I think the wastelands at East, "Gloom's territory".

Hortensia was only able to stop it before entering humanland, while the mixed lands of the east had to endure his will - which was destruction.

Nothing can grow from the soil, the water is often contaminated, there is few animals and very few survivors left.

And there is Gloom himself, residing in various ghost cities. The worst about these cities is that the buildings are still good - but there is no one around. Not even weeds in certain parts. They don't have dust on them and might look like dollhouses.

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter LXVI: Eye of the Tiger

If life were simple, I’d be a tadpole or a tortoise. I’d be a frog in no time, or I’d live to be over 150 and I would go at my own pace.

But life isn’t simple and action happens a lot. I have homework I have to do every week and if there was one thing about childhood which I wouldn’t recommend to a tadpole, it would be homework. However, that wasn’t my concern that day. My concern was something much more joyous: a sheet of paper in our mailbox.

See, we don’t get a lot of mail here, but we still have a mailbox, for whatever reason. Well, just this morning, I ran out (it stopped raining this morning, too. Thank goodness, no more soggy boots please) and caught the mail between my hands as if they were flies and my hand was a flyswatter.

I ran inside, as I was too strong to slip and fall down, and being reckless was impossible when I was built like a gorilla.

“Ray! Ray!” I jumped up while waving papers in my hands.

Ray, who I once referred to as “penguin man” (well all gotta grow up someday), was busy in the kitchen flipping eggplants.

“What is it, Tigershark?” He asked with his soft, but gravelly voice, and with a smile on his face.

“There’s a fair in town! An amusement park nearby! Can we go?”

“A..what now?”

I threw the sheet of paper in his face.

He muttered to himself while taking a look at it (in case you’re wondering, he set the spatula down before looking the paper over), saying stuff like, “how is it in town when we don’t live in a town? Why was this in our mailbox?”

“I don’t know! But it looks colorful!”

“It must be a trap…” he muttered.

“It might be, but we’re strong! I could bring my hammer with me, if you want!”

He shook his head.

“We’ll go. I’m curious about this. It’s suspicious, and I’m sure it was put in our mailbox to lure us in. Not only did Sunny not bring up such a thing with me when she looked up any recent rumors in the area, but this is so spontaneous that...ah, but let’s go, anyway? What do you say?”

“Yeah!” I jumped up and pumped my fist.

Sure, danger wasn’t always something I wanted to get into, but I had my values to stick to: value 1) have fun at all costs. Value 2) be there for the ones I love. The rest of my values weren’t important enough to mention right now.

As it turns out, Ray and I had to walk quite a ways in order to get to this supposed amusement park. Once there, we were surprised to find such a colorful area with so much red and yellow that one would have mistaken it for a sculpture made out of mangoes.

“This amusement park is called ‘Iceland’?” Ray remarked. “Doesn’t the owner realize that there’s already a place called Iceland? You can’t just put -land at the end of a word and call it the name of your amusement park.”

We were lucky enough that it was far enough into spring where much of the actual ice had melted off and the ground was soft, while the sky was bright and cloudy. Sure, a little on the brisk side, but I wouldn’t have had the cold any other way.

“Right! It should have been called something unique, like Humanland.”

“Oh, speaking of which, how are things going with you and Astraea?” Ray turned his head and asked. He stood in front of me in a long line, one which was single-file and all of these people were eerily quiet. I must say, they would have done a pretty good job at being mannequins.

“We’re getting along,” I answered. While my worries grew every week I was away from her, saying that we were getting along wasn’t a lie.

“That’s good. Is she learning anything new?”

“Every day, I’d assume,” I shrugged my shoulders. Sometimes her way of learning could be a bit...worrisome. Like how she wanted someone to beat her up ever since I threatened to beat up Hammond Cheese. Or how she wanted to explore her jealousy by creating a dragon because she thought it would make me come back home to grandma and grandpa.

I still regret nothing, but she could be quite the handful.

Besides, are we ever really apart if we can just communicate through our thoughts? I asked in my head.

Of course, Astraea didn’t give me a response. Either she heard me and ignored me or she didn’t hear it. Maybe it wasn’t a total telepathy thing. Like, maybe we had to have each other’s permission first, or maybe she had to call me first. I didn’t know how these things worked.

“That’s good. I’m sure you’re a good big sister,” Ray grinned. We walked a step closer to the entrance.

“I’m not sure about that, I’ve never been a big sister. Even though she knows less than me, I think Astraea is infinitely bigger than I am.”

“Well, infinity can only be so big,” Ray said, as if that meant anything. He really was someone who liked to say things that sounded like they meant things, but they didn’t really. Oh well, that’s part of what made Ray a good penguin.

When we stood before the entrance, almost through the gates, I turned around and looked up at some chubby blonde haired guy wearing a square hat and he had a nametag on it that said ‘Titus Bosom’.

“What brought you here, bub?” I asked.

“Oh hey, kid. I just got this thing in the mail saying I won a trip to Iceland. I got so excited until I found out that it’s not the country of Iceland, but just some amusement park. But I’m already here, so I figured I may as well check it out.”

“Right. So you’re just as in the dark as we are,” I nodded.

“In the dark?” His face turned pale (he was already a white guy before, but something told me that he wasn’t used to a cold place like this).

“Ah, forgive her,” Ray turned, “what she means is that amusement parks opening up here are certainly out of the norm.”

“Yes. Very suspicious,” I nodded, with my hand on my chin. “We will get to the bottom of this mystery and ride on some roller coasters.”

“Do we have to?” Ray groaned, “true, that’s a Sunny thing, but couldn’t we enjoy something more peaceful, like a haunted house?”

“No! Roller coasters!”

“Huh. Where are we, anyway?” Titus asked.

“Eh, it’s not quite Canada and it’s not quite Greenland, but it’s somewhere close to those places,” Ray answered.

“Of course. I just had to come to some remote area. Next thing I know, they’ll be harvesting my organs.”

“You play the organ?” I asked Titus.

“No, not the musical instrument...I did play the trombone once, but that was a dark period in my life.”

“Ah,” I nodded. The world of adults really was complicated.

Did you hear that, Astraea? Aren’t humans odd?

Again, no answer.

At least I wasn’t scared to admit that I missed her sometimes too. And I could do so without causing trouble.

We were at the entrance now. There was a booth and someone with long, brown hair which extended down to their ankles. They wore short shorts and a tank top and were shivering in place harder than even Remora did sometimes. On their face was a big, drooping, panicked expression.

“H-Hi, welcome to Iceland,” the chilly big hair greeted us, “here’s your ticket.”

They handed Ray and I a ticket. Ray took a glance at it, then pointed to the ticket.

“Shouldn’t we pay for this?” He asked.

“Here at Iceland, we don’t believe in charging money for things,” the booth person explained.

“What’s your name, stranger?” I asked.

“Oh. I’m…is this allowed? Um. I’m Calen? I’m kind of girl-adjacent. You could say that I’m not a girl or boy, but also I’m a girl. Mostly I’m scared because I don’t know why I applied for this job. And you are?”

“I’m Tigershark! I’m a tiger and a shark, but also I’m a girl!”

“I...I see. Well, this is, uh, this is...Iceland? Yeah, it is. Enjoy, please. My paycheck depends on it.”

“Sounds like a fragile paycheck.”

“Yes, well...it’s the only day Iceland will be around. So we gotta make the most of it, yes?”

“But why is it around today? Why not tomorrow? Why only today?”

“Ah...uh...I don’t really know, but I wanna get paid, you feel?”

I shook my head and scowled.

“Adults really are complicated,” I grumbled.

Once we were inside the amusement park, all the crowds around the area scattered to different areas of the park as if scared of Ray and I. Or maybe they were on a tight schedule. I really didn’t know.

“It seems like they’re all actors and we’re the audience,” Ray said.

“Or we’re the actors and they’re the audience?” I suggested.

“I think you’re right, but I also think it’s the opposite of what you said. I think they’re the audience who are also actors and we’re...Truman.”

“Truman?” I asked, sure it was just another Ray-ism.

“Right. I have to keep reminding myself that the 90s were a long time ago.”

We approached one of the rides, a spinny roller coaster with seats that looked like tomatoes.

“Let’s go on this one!” I pointed to Ray and tugged on his sleeve.

When we approached the ride, however, there was yellow tape in front of the gate saying ‘out of service’ and someone with long, brown hair which reached down to their ankles stood. I was so sure they were Calen, like the one at the front gate to the amusement park, but this person had a pink mustache on, so it couldn’t be Calen.

“Oh, uh, hello, uh, sir? Sorry, this ride...it’s closed,” they informed us, and I could’ve sworn they sounded just like Calen, too.

“That’s Ray,” I pointed to Ray.

“Oh, right, uh. Yes, you are. Ray, this ride is closed.”

“I’m Tigershark.”

“Yes, I remember you..er, I mean, nice to meet you. Sorry, this ride is closed.”

“You ARE Calen!” I pivoted my finger and pointed at them.

“I am! Err...am I? No, I am not! I’m...Caelid?”

“And why is the ride closed?” Ray asked.

“Because it is non-operational!” Calen (I was sure of it now) declared.

“Oh, so is it just for display? Is it a prop?”

“How did you – I mean, no. It’s just not working today.”

“What can we do here?”

“You can...play hackey sack? I like to do that.”

“Couldn’t we do that anywhere?”

“Eep! Maybe! You’re probably right! Well, there’s the haunted house.”

“Cool. Wanna do the haunted house, Tigershark?”

I crossed my arms and huffed.

“Fine, but I bet it’s not even haunted,” I pouted.

“I hope not! Haunted houses are scary!” Calen wailed.

“They’re supposed to be scary!”

“You’re right. You will have the scariest time of your life.”

Calen pointed toward the haunted house: it was just a small, long building of sorts with a fairly straightforward entrance and exit. As we headed toward, Ray took a quick glance ahead at the horizon, just a little past the back of the amusement park. Whatever he saw or thought he saw, he didn’t seem to want to tell me.

I’ll force him to tell me once we’re done with this haunted house, I decided.

There was no one waiting for us at the entrance asking us about tickets or anything. We just walked in. As soon as we did so, all the light from the outside world faded and we were left in a darkness that was quite befitting of the name ‘haunted house’. Of course, I could still see Ray beside me, with his hands in his jacket pockets.

Just a few steps in, a cardboard picture of a floating sheet ghost with big googly eyes popped out from the wall. Ray flinched, then flicked the cardboard picture. I turned my nose at such a fake scare.

Further in, we heard voices come from behind the walls:

“Ooh, I’m a ghost. Ooh,” moaned one of the voices in a rather uneasy, shaky tone. If I had to guess, I’d say that was Calen.

“I’m a zombie or whatever. I’m going to eat this ghost’s brain,” was the other voice, which sounded rather bored.

“No! Don’t eat my brain! Do ghosts even have brains?”

“Did you even have a brain when you were alive? Hmm? Or what about these people walking through the house? Perhaps they have brains. Yes. Let’s see if theirs are tasty.”

That time, I admit I let out a shudder.

Behind me, in what must have been just a few paces back, one of the walls slid open and I heard a creak. I dared not look behind me, even as the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

Then, I heard slow, deliberate footsteps. Just a little light tap against the stony floor that we happened to walk upon.

As the footsteps drew closer, a low, rumbling groan sounded:

“Uhhh...flesh. Meat. Starch. Ketchup.”

Ray and I continued to walk at a steady pace but my legs were starting to shake real bad.

The zombie must have taken big strides as despite us keeping our pace, I soon felt a hot breath against my neck. Whoever’s breath it was, it smelled like buttery baked potatoes.

“AAAAAAAAAA!” I screamed and ran past Ray at top speed out of the haunted house.

As soon as I pushed through the wooden double doors, the outside world opened up and blinded my eyes and I bumped into some large, fuzzy figure right away.

Is it a bear? I wondered.

I looked up and there was Calen in a big bear costume, with her head poking out and little round bear ears at the top.

“Hello kid, I’m beary happy to meet you,” she tried working up a big, jolly bear voice.

“Sure you are, Calen,” I groaned and rubbed my head.

“Was it scary enough?” She looked back toward the door, which as soon as she said that, the doors opened and Ray walked out while adjusting his tie.

“I do say, that was a rather mediocre experience,” he remarked, “but what else should I expect from an amusement park? Especially one where there seems to only be two employees.”

“There’s more! Probably! I know I didn’t set this all up on my own!” Calen waved her bear paws about.

“Of that, I have no doubt. You and that zombie, or maybe there are more people, seem to only be pawns. But the purpose for this amusement park is the real mystery.”

“The amusement park is here for amusement! It’s in the name!” Calen jumped about.

“Right. Come along, Tigershark. I think I’ve solved this mystery.”

“Aye-aye!” I did a little salute, then hopped toward him as we walked away from Calen.

He had his sights set on a log cabin behind the amusement park, elevated on a small hill.

As we walked, he explained a few things to me.

“I’m pretty sure my hunch was correct: most of the fine folks we shared a line with were probably workers here, with maybe one or two people not in on the joke aside from us, to give off a veil of authenticity. But, of course, the con was so obvious that I have to assume we were meant to notice something suspicious about this place. I’m sure we’ll get the answers we need if we talk to the ‘boss’ of this whole operation.”

“I see,” my eyes widened and I nodded along. I didn’t understand all of it, but I appreciated some kind of explanation.

I still hate to admit it, but that zombie was scary, I thought while we walked toward the back of the park.

I noticed someone behind us, sneaking around. Sure, if it was a zombie, I would have beat them up, but no, it was a brown, fuzzy looking someone.

“What are you doing?” I turned around and saw Calen, crouched and following us.

“I...I’m making sure you two don’t go anywhere you’re not supposed to. I also work security here.”

“Do you now?” Ray asked.

“I’m also a clown,” Calen added, “I can do tricks to keep you two occupied. Or maybe you two want to ride on the carousel? I heard there’s horses. Though you may be disappointed to find that the horses aren’t real. I’m terribly sorry.”

“You’re a clown? Can you make balloon animals?”

Calen shook her head furiously.

“I’m a bear clown, bear clowns can’t do balloon animals. I can blow a balloon, but I just can’t shape it.”

“Some clown you are,” I said.

“Well, I’m not really a clown. I’m not really a bear, either. I’m actually a human. This is just a bear costume.”

“Sure, I’ve heard that one before, too.”

We continued our walk toward the building despite Calen urging us to go elsewhere. Before we could get too much further, a lone woman with short, white hair and wearing a blue uniform shirt with little chest pockets and sporting a pair of skinny jeans appeared.

“You will go no further,” she announced, blocking our way to the back gate. She then pulled out a pistol just to prove that she was serious and pointed it at us.

“You know too much. You need to be eliminated,” she said.

“You’re not going to shoot me, too, Cael?!” Calen cried.

“I don’t know,” Cael turned her attention toward Calen while maintaining her aim at Ray. “I always knew it would come to this, Calen: us two, on opposing ends of the battlefield. In the end, I have to decide whether my resolve is stronger than our bond.”

“Can we talk this out?” Ray asked.

“I would rather not. I’m not good with talking to people,” Cael replied. “The boss said that if anyone tries to snoop around, we should stop them. So that’s what I’m doing.”

“And who is your boss?”

“You know too much as it is! I cannot say any more!”

From Cael’s pants pocket, a phone rang and Cael picked it up.

“What?” She growled into the phone.

“Put the gun down. There’s been a change of plans. These people are our guests, after all,” I heard the ‘boss’ tell Cael.

“Do you know how inconvenient this is for me?!” She shouted.

The boss hung up and Cael put her phone back into her pocket, then tossed the gun aside.

“It wasn’t even a real gun, anyway,” she grumbled, then walked off.

All three of us watched Cael walk away to the side, past where the haunted house attraction was.

“Where is she going?” Ray asked Calen.

“Oh, Cael always goes to fast food restaurants and orders a bunch of french fries whenever she gets mad. The boss set up a Burger Duke in the amusement park, with actual employees, just for Cael,” Calen explained.

“Oh! Are you and Cael a co…?” I was about to ask when Calen interrupted.

“Yeah, we’re a coworkers. Been coworkers for years. Always applied to the same jobs, always on the verge of homelessness.”

“That’s impressive!”

“Is it? It’s scary never knowing where our next paycheck or meal or shelter is going to come from. Plus Cael can get pretty scary, especially when she doesn’t get her fries.”

“Adult life does sound scary,” I nodded.

“I know, right?! I just want to be a teddy bear!” Calen whined.

“Hey, let’s meet up with your friend Cael at this place,” Ray suggested, “besides, I’m sure Tigershark here is hungry.”

“We’re not friends, we’re a co...coworkers!”

“Roar!” I said to show that I was hungry. My stomach growled in agreement.

All three of us headed toward Burger Duke. It was a popular fast food restaurant chain. Grandma and Grandpa took Astraea and I there a few weeks ago. Astraea got a mini-whooper, while I got a double whooper with extra pickles. The food was...fine. It was tasty, but I knew in my heart that I could cook better food than that.

Astraea still found it an interesting experience, and even tried dipping her fries in multiple sauces at once. She even tried mixing several sauces together. I’m talking honey mustard, ranch dressing, barbecue sauce, ketchup, and mayonnaise.

Grandma and Grandpa were happy enough seeing her seem to enjoy herself. I enjoyed it too, because it was yummy food. But again, I could have cooked better.

As soon as Ray, Calen, and I walked into the Burger Duke, we looked around and saw Cael sitting at one of the booths with a tray covered in fries. It looked like fry mountain over there. She ate one fry at a time, and in between every few fries, she sprinkled a ton of salt over the fry mountain.

I ran toward Cael while Ray stepped up to the counter to order food.

“Hey Tigershark, what do you want to eat?” He called over.

“Salmon nuggets!” I cupped my hands and shouted back to him. After he nodded, I walked up to where Cael was sitting.

“Can I sit next to you?” I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and said, “sure.”

I crawled upon the booth and sat next to her.

“Can I have some of your fries?” I asked.

“Sure.”

I took a handful and shoved some in my mouth. Calen walked up to Cael too.

“H-Hey Cael, are you mad?” She asked her coworker.

“Not anymore. I have fries now,” Cael answered. “Want one?”

“Yes please! I haven’t eaten all day!”

“Who’s fault is that?”

“Mine,” Calen pouted.

“Yes. I always tell you to eat plenty of starch,” Cael shook her head, grabbed a fry, then held it up to Calen’s mouth. Calen opened her mouth and leaned in closer to take the fry out of Cael’s hand.

I’m pretty sure Calen swallowed that fry without chewing as it was gone in one gulp.

“Good as always. Tastes just like you, Cael,” Calen remarked.

“Hmm...not a bad thing to taste like.”

Ray sat down and brought over a box of salmon nuggets for me. He also had two sodas in his hand. One, a prune soda, for him, and for me, a tangerine soda.

“Ms. Cael, I’m sure you think I know too much, but I can assure you that I don’t know enough,” Ray said to Cael.

“Just Cael is fine. And you know what you know and you don’t know what you don’t know.”

“That is usually how it works, yes.”

“I want you to know that even if it looks like I take my job very seriously, I actually just want to eat and have a roof over my head,” Cael explained.

“That’s something everyone should have, yes,” Ray agreed, “I certainly wouldn’t want to take food or a roof away from you. I just want to know: who is your boss?”

“I don’t know his name, he just wanted us to call him boss. He looked kinda like you, actually.”

“Really? I thought he had brown hair,” Calen added.

“Maybe his roots were brown, but I’m pretty sure his hair itself was black,” Cael argued.

“Would you mind if I went to see this boss of yours?” Ray asked.

“I don’t mind. I’m off the clock right now.”

“You are? I didn’t even know we were ever on the clock,” Calen replied.

“But of course we’ve been on the clock. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t get paid, right?”

“No, no, because the boss already paid us for a day’s worth of pay before we started our shift today, right?”

“Huh. I’m going to have to ask him about that. Maybe I should go with you.”

“Yes. Let’s all four of us get down to the bottom of this mystery,” Ray agreed.

“Mystery solving time!” I cheered.

I shoveled the salmon nuggets into my mouth and chugged down the soda. Calen and Cael shoved handfuls of fries into each other’s mouths. Ray took his time.

It didn’t matter, because we were soon out the door anyway and headed toward the back of the amusement park.

Up the hill, we reached the cabin. Ray knocked on the door. Then I knocked harder and faster. There wasn’t an answer either time.

“I’m pretty sure it’s unlocked,” Cael said before turning the handle on the door.

Indeed, it was unlocked, and we soon walked in.

The carpeted floor had some kind of confetti pattern along the way, while the walls were a fresh pine scent of wooden boards. We passed by a lot of doors before we reached one where a sign said ‘boss’s office’.

Ray knocked. Still no answer. However, this time, he was the one to open the door, and not Cael.

All four of us walked in, only to find the office without any boss in it.

There were bookshelves on each end, a window with a view to the outside, a big desk, and a puffy leather swivel chair. No boss, though.

“Were we scammed again?” Calen asked.

“We already got paid, didn’t we? Isn’t that good enough?” Cael replied.

On the desk sat one of those phones which had a squiggly wire attached at the bottom and hooked up to some machine.

As soon as I noticed it, the phone rang.

Ray picked it up, and it went right to speaker phone as we all heard:

“Hello, Ray. I hope you were as amused by this amusement park as I was. I’m sorry we couldn’t meet today, of all days, but don’t worry, you will be seeing me around real soon,” the mysterious boss said.

“Aion? Why did you go through all this trouble?” Ray asked.

“Eh, eh, eh. No, Ray. Not yet. We can talk more once we meet. For now, I’m happy enough just to know that you heard my voice. Or maybe I’m happy to hear your voice. I’ll let you decide.”

Ray didn’t give a reply, and I thought the call ended, but then the voice had one more thing to say:

“Oh, by the way, Calen, Cael: you’re fired.”

The two girls next to me both erupted into a panic and held each other tight.

“Why?!” They cried.

“Because the amusement park was one day only. Now that I have no use for you two, there’s no reason to keep you around.”

“Wait, Aion –” Ray tried to get another word in, but was interrupted.

“No, I’m not taking any questions at the time. See you around, Ray.”

The call ended.

We all took turns staring at each other, not sure what to do now. In fact, the first person to talk was Calen, who said exactly that:

“We’re all just staring at each other, but I’m not sure what to do now.”

“We’ll have to look for another job,” Cael answered.

“But out here? And in the middle of nowhere?”

“We’ve been through worse. I’m sure we’ll find another job together.”

“Right. You wouldn’t leave me.”

“Unless I find a job that hires me and doesn’t hire you, then I might.”

“No!” Calen sank to the floor and hugged Cael’s knees. “Say it isn’t so!”

“You two. How about you come live with us at our diner?” Ray suggested.

My mouth widened into a grin. As odd as those two have been, I really did enjoy their company.

“We’re really going to add more people to our home?” I asked, the excitement leaking from me.

“Sure. We’ve got rooms available, if they’re willing.”

“But we can’t just live there without working, can we?” Calen asked.

“You can wash dishes, if you want.

“Will there be french fries?” Cael asked.

“We have potatoes. It all depends on whether we decide to deep fry them.”

“We’re in,” Calen and Cael agreed.

And so, the four of us took our journey back home to the Remora’s Full Inn.

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Fairy parent telling their kid Human Tales about the Human King of Humanland: -and they use this dark magic called "I-ron"!

112 year old fairy kid peaking out from under the covers: *Gasp!*

[fintan-pyren]

News about the Barnes & Noble exclusive edition of Adventures in Humanland!

[aiaalalv]

e-Town Hall Meeting with Dr. Aki Roberge (Towards Earth 2.0: Exoplanets and Future Space Telescopes), and John Thornton (Making Space Accessible to the World)

 e-Town Hall Meeting with Dr. Aki Roberge (Towards Earth 2.0: Exoplanets and Future Space Telescopes), and John Thornton (Making Space Accessible to the World)  Jul 11, 2020 from 10:00 AM to 12:30 PM (PT) RSVP and Information: https://conta.cc/2SvGyx7 Volunteers are needed for all AIAA activities, please contact cgsonwane@gmail.com Towards Earth 2.0: Exoplanets and Future Space Telescopes (Dr. Aki Roberge) & Making Space Accessible to the World (John Thornton) e-Town Hall Meeting July 11, 2020, 10 AM Dr. Aki Roberge Research Astrophysicist Exoplanets and Stellar Astrophysics Lab at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center(currently on temporary detail to NASA HQ) and John Thornton Chief Executive Officer of Astrobotic RSVP & Information: https://conta.cc/2SvGyx7 Event Calendar Upcoming Events List aiaa-lalv.org/events Dr. Aki Roberge is a research astrophysicist in the Exoplanets and Stellar Astrophysics Lab at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center, currently on temporary detail to NASA HQ. Her work focuses on 1) planet-forming disks around nearby young stars and 2) future space observatories to observe planets around other stars, aka. exoplanets. She received a Bachelor of Science degree in Physics with a Planetary Science minor from MIT and a PhD in Astrophysics from Johns Hopkins University. She is currently serving as the Deputy Program Scientist for NASA’s WFIRST mission (in development) and was the Study Scientist for the LUVOIR mission concept study. In 2014, she received the Robert H. Goddard Award for Science. She was a member of NASA’s 2013 Visionary Astrophysics Roadmap Team and is currently serving on the NASA Planetary Science Advisory Committee. John Thornton is the Chief Executive Officer of Astrobotic. Astrobotic, a space robotics company, where he is responsible for leading Astrobotic’s mission of making space accessible to the world. Thornton leads by attracting technology contracts, equity investment, and payload customers. He also oversees the team for the company’s product line of landers including Peregrine which is set for the mission for 2021. Prior to Astrobotic, at Carnegie Mellon University, Thornton led the build of Scarab, a NASA concept robot for lunar polar exploration. It was the first robot to carry a prototype of NASA's RESOLVE payload. He also founded Carnegie Mellon's Advanced Composites Lab, an R&D and manufacturing lab specializing in high performance, lightweight composites for robotics. John Thornton holds a Masters in Mechanical Engineering and a BS in Mechanical Engineering from Carnegie Mellon University. Towards Earth 2.0: Exoplanets and Future Space Telescopes Humans have long wondered if there were worlds around other stars and maybe life on those worlds. Over the last two decades, astronomers have found that the answer to the first question is a resounding YES! In fact, planets around other stars (exoplanets) are amazingly common. On average, there’s at least one planet for every star in the Milky Way galaxy, meaning over 100 billion planets in our galaxy alone. Even better, the exoplanets discovered are surprisingly diverse, with exotic types that we don't have in the solar system – blazing hot Jupiters, mini-Neptunes, super-Earths. We've also discovered Earth-size exoplanets orbiting in stellar “habitable zones”. A habitable zone is the range of distances from a star where a rocky planet like Earth might have liquid water on its surface, which is a key ingredient for life. Earth is unique in the solar system because its surface life is so abundant that it has changed the planet’s whole atmosphere. For example, the oxygen we breathe comes from photosynthetic organisms (green plants). With the right tools and techniques, we have a chance of seeing such signs of life on a planet around another star. Right now, it's hard to measure much more about an exoplanet than its orbit, mass, and/or size. Probing the atmospheres and surfaces of Earth-size planets around Sun-like stars is not yet possible – but could be in the coming decades. I'll discuss how astronomers can study exoplanet atmospheres, challenges in the search for Earth 2.0, and prospects for future discoveries using space-based telescopes. A team of scientists and engineers has developed a concept for a “super-duper Hubble” called LUVOIR. The key goals of this possible future space telescope are to find dozens of Earth-size planets in the habitable zones of stars like our Sun and probe those worlds for signs of water and life. I’ll share a few highlights from our 2019 Final Report on the LUVOIR concept study, and provide a glimpse into the early stages of developing a future NASA Great Observatory. Part II: Making Space Accessible to the World Questions about Events/Program: events.aiaalalv@gmail.com (949)426-8175 - CONNECT WITH US -aiaa-lalv.org Read the full article

[pinkportrait]

Dolly in humanland

[noirandchocolate]

Here’s an Owl House theory.  THERE’S SPOILERS FOR THE LAST EPISODE IN IT.  I’m SURE others have come up with the same or similar, but I don’t go in fandom tags very much so please nobody think I ‘stole’ this.  I’m posting less to impress other Owl House fans and more as a record for my future self of what I thought was going on in the show at this point.

So we know that Luz came through the door between worlds, and that there’s a doppelganger back in Humanland who wrote to her mom from camp and is now living in her house.  We know that mom doesn’t think anything at all is ‘off’ about Faux Luz, so there must not be anything wildly different about her appearance-wise.

We also know Philip Wittebane sort of tripped and fell into Magicland accidentally, but we know he disappeared or went back home somehow (it seems like he made the portal door in the first place).  Now, we know what Emperor Belos looks like, and he looks and (when he’s not masked and trying to be echoey and intimidating) sounds very very much like Philip’s silhouette and voice in the diary. 

We also know that Hunter looks rather like, but not exactly like, Belos.  We’ve been shown that Belos performs magic in a way that looks quite different to any other Witch, and we’ve been told Hunter isn’t able to do magic on his own without a staff--and that with the unusual staff Belos gave him his magic has the same red aura as Belos’s, but with a ‘traditional’ staff with a palisman his magic is yellow or golden.  In the last episode we were also shown a page in a book displaying info on a creature called a ‘Grimwalker,’ and that creature apparently has jewel-y maroon eyes like Hunter’s--which do NOT match Belos’s blue eyes.  (Their ears also don’t match exactly.  They have the same notch in the left ear, but Hunter’s are more horizontally pointy like Witch ears are, while Belos’s do come to a point but they’re noticeably smaller and more vertical.)

Hunter told Luz that he was ‘found’ by Belos, and that others in his ‘family’ have been unable to do magic.  However Hunter didn’t necessarily say he knew anyone else in his family (I don’t think, someone correct me if I’m wrong), so it’s likely he only knows there have been others in his lineage without magic because Belos told him that.

Okay theory time, everything behind here is pure speculation:

Belos isn’t Philip Wittebane.  He’s the Faux Philip that Philip spontaneously, ‘magically’ generated in Humanland when he fell into Magicland.  When Philip made the portal door and went home, Faux Philip was swapped into Magicland.  Faux Philip couldn’t stay in Humanland while Philip was there; there can’t be two of the same person on the same plane of existence.  Once a human has moved between worlds, there always has to be one of them on one side and one of them on the other.  And Faux Philip, now known as Belos, who has seen Humanland and who remembers it as being so much cleaner, so much more peaceful and quiet, very much wants to go home.

So what is a Faux person made of?  Well, we’ve seen Belos go all goopy and we know he feels better after consuming palismen--and that palistrom wood is one of the Grimwalker ‘ingredients.’  So, I theorize that Belos, in the long years of trying to go back to Humanland, has done enough experimentation to find out what sustains him: very magical things, things basically ‘from the Titan’ and the Isles, such as palistrom wood, and possibly Titan’s blood or galdorstones if he could get them, etc.  He isn’t made of those things like a Grimwalker seems to be, but they keep him alive.  And he’s needed more and more over time, because the original Philip Wittebane is long dead.  Belos should be long dead as well, but has essentially refused to give up on going home to Humanland and is keeping himself going with magical stuff, which works because he is indeed a creature of flesh but also one that was magically generated.

I further theorize that Belos knows the truth of his origins.  He knows he’s Faux Philip (rather than thinking he’s just a human who was banished into Magicland suddenly one day) and has at least guessed that if he goes home, something will need to be left behind in Magicland.  But his own original is dead.  Belos has guessed or knows that he, already being a Faux person, won’t generate a doppelganger.  It’s possible he had the portal door at one point, but didn’t find it until after Philip died and so he knows it won’t work for him because there’s no person there to swap with.  It’s also possible Belos found the door even before Philip died, and discovered he couldn’t go through it at all because Philip, the ‘real person’ in this scenario, was the only one who could initiate a swap.  (Maybe only humans can, naturally.  Otherwise, there’s a doppelganger Eda and even a doppelganger Lilith somewhere in the human world right now because they’ve both gone through the portal door and come back to Magicland.)

Anyway I don’t think Faux Philip could see the door right when Philip used it to come back.  When Luz tumbled back through the door with Lilith, her own copy didn’t appear right on the other side of the door, at least that we could see, and Luz has no idea she exists.  However if my theory is correct, Luz’s copy was just for those few moments swapped into Magicland.  Maybe Faux Luz appeared at a distance from the door on the Magicland side equal to the distance she currently was from the door on the Humanland side?  If so, the same thing would’ve happened to Faux Philip.  So if that’s true, he just popped into Magicland at an equidistant point too and didn’t see the door.  But I do theorize he found the door later and tried it and it didn’t work--otherwise the rest of my theory below doesn’t make as much sense, because how would he know he couldn’t make or find only a door and have that work.  Still, I don’t have a theory on how he lost access to the portal door after that.  Eda found it not far from her home, and Eda’s mom said her great grandmother knew there was ‘a human’ who lived in the area (not necessarily that great granny knew the person but at least that she knew of him, and depending on Witch lifespans it may have been impossible she knew him personally) who turned out to be Philip, so there’s a potential link, but I don’t have a guess yet on why it was there and not with Belos.  Unless Belos left it there to hide it and Eda just kinda found it one day?  Belos didn’t seem to know Eda had the door, he just kind of assumed since another human appeared that that human may have used it.  So going after Eda would bring him Luz and thus info on the door?  Like I said I don’t have a full theory on this.

At any rate, I hypothesize that Belos very much knows what he is and knows he can’t go through any door between realms unless something will ‘swap’ with him.  So he’s been trying not only to find or make a door and key BUT ALSO to make a ‘Faux Faux’ Philip he can use to be his doppelganger in Magicland so the door will even let him through.  (In other words he thinks he could technically become an ‘original’ by making another copy being, and that that being could then be swapped around for him like he was for Philip.)

So he knows what keeps him alive, and he’s been in Magicland long enough to know how to make ‘magic’ without being a Witch himself.  Eda, who’s been a virtually magicless Witch for a little while, still knows how to make potions.  Luz figured out the glyphs, which apparently figured into how Witches did magic before they evolved bile sacs and could do it naturally.  How much more could someone who’s been living in Magicland for literally centuries figure out how to do?  I suggest that over the years, Belos learned how to make constructs he called Grimwalkers.  After all it looks like a Grimwalker is basically a list of potion ingredients that somehow makes a walking talking person.  Abominations are goopy constructs too, so constructs are an existing type of magic.  But those potion ingredients--one of which is also a known thing that keeps Belos himself alive--are rare and difficult to find.  So it takes quite a bit of time and effort to make a Grimwalker.

Anyway long story short Hunter is the latest Grimwalker Belos has made, and Belos hopes to use him as a Faux Faux Philip who can take his place in Magicland when he returns to Humanland.  Possibly Belos made a baby him and left him with someone else to raise him, and he was abandoned or later ~found~ by Belos who declared him a ‘nephew’ and ‘took him in’ at the growth stage or moment in time when he’d become potentially useful?  The other members of his ‘family’ who couldn’t do magic were other Grimwalkers, and Hunter never knew them, Belos just told him about them.  Oh Hunter, you’re different from other Witches, but you’re not the only one of your kind!  Here, have a special kind of staff I made that helps members of our family make magic!  You’re very special, Hunter, the Titan has big plans for you, but also, don’t fail me or you’ll be (just as) useless (as the others).

So the previous Grimwalkers ‘failed’ in some way.  Maybe they didn’t master Belos’s style of ‘artificial’ magic sufficiently to his liking.  Maybe like I said, Belos had the door for a while, and he tried to get through and leave a Grimwalker behind but it didn’t work, and then he didn’t give up on the idea but just decided that particular Grimwalker was a failure.  Maybe the previous Grimwalkers just weren’t stable and broke down before he could even try to use them.  At any rate it would be so troublesome to have to replace Hunter who is skilled and stable (so far), and the Day of Unity is coming and the door is nearly complete and a key might soon be made or found, so Hunter had better stay put and not do any more missions.  Just like Amity misunderstood Luz’s texts, Hunter is misunderstanding Belos right now.  It’s not that Belos is worried he’ll fail at any further little missions or tasks, it’s that he doesn’t want him to be lost or to fail at his ultimate function.

And that’s what I think so far!

Anyway I also think that if all that is correct, it’s going to be interesting if/when Luz finds out what Belos really is and what he’s really trying to do, because that will mean finding out about Faux Luz.  Who’s ‘just like poor Faux Philip/Belos, who’s just been trying to get home all this time.’  Luz has already been having trouble deciding what she wants to do.  Be a witch, or go home to Humanland where magic is impossible?  Never see her mother again, or never see her Boiling Isles Found Family again?  Try to live between worlds somehow? 

So, finding out that if she goes home and stays home there will be a creature swapped into Magicland who might feel just as banished and abandoned as Belos...  Thinking that if she goes home and stays home her Found Family might take in the Faux Luz which would be nice because Faux Luz would be less sad, but that Found Family might also consider Faux Luz a Replacement (which Luz could think means they don’t care if it’s Really Luz so long as there’s A Luz--that she’s replaceable and not special)...  Finding out that her mom didn’t even notice the Luz that wrote home from camp and came back after a few months wasn’t really her (and is Faux Luz less boisterous and more practical like mom hoped? is Faux Luz the Luz mom Always Wanted Instead?)...  So thinking that if she stays in Magicland she might not be as missed as she assumed...

Oh boy!  Possible feelings and angst!  If I’m right anyway!

[squishmallow36]

Conspiracy theory time.

A little bit of background first.

- I started counting fedex trucks on the one year anniversary of my fedex fic in my notes app and when it came time to write the point when Dex actually comes out to Fitz, I had counted 36 fedex trucks

- I was also trying to keep track of the timeline and this ^ just so happened to be on day 36 after Dex realized he had a crush on Fitz since the beginning of the universe

- But wait. There's more. Fitz isn't exactly the most willing to be in a bad match, so he basically runs off, and they each have their own acceptance arcs over the next few chapters before I tell them to get together. That happens to be chapter 36

- By now I've accepted this is a thing and that's why I'm squishmallow36 as opposed to any other number, so I mess with the timeline a bit, and 36 days after that, Dex is going to be coming out to his parents

- But I just finished the chapter before that one ^ and it has been 436 days since I started the fic according to my notes app and I just thought that was scary and you should all know

Yeah.

Also: I accidentally switched to the emoji keyboard and typed a rainbow flag without realizing it somewhere while working on this fic but I can't remember where.

Also also: I studied Google Maps for a scene where Dex visits Amy in humanland and they go to Starbucks and it's in a mall that just so happens to have a Fedex store in it.

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Fury of Their Scales [TEASER]

m.yoongi / reader 

genre: dragon au, wyvern!yoongi, herbalist/human!reader

teaser warnings: dragon yoongi stuck in trap bc he’s a dumbdumb, y/n having a mental debate whether or not to help, flashbacks/mentions of a very short war

teaser w.count: 900+

actual fic w.count (pre edit): 17.4k kill me

synopsis:  a world of dragons, demons, devils, gods and ghouls- humans were of small number. you’ve lived on the outskirts of your human village in the woods ever since you could remember. living alone in a small cabin with nothing but woodland trees, ponds, lakes and animals was like a small paradise- with the occasional bump in the road. as someone who’s studied and experimented with nature to make all sorts of concoctions- your home was ideal. it didn’t matter that your village didn’t like it or that they rejected your life of medicine. what did matter, however, was the dragon stuck in a trap not too far from your home that you just discovered.

a/n: heh i didn’t actually proof this teaser, so the spelling errors? we don't acknowledge know them 

When you could see the clearing ahead, you slowed your footsteps and slowly crept up behind a tree to peer around it.  As you did so, your breath caught in your throat as you gasped and slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from choking and making a sound.  You spun around, nearlying dropping your basket from your arm as you hid behind the tree you peered around and pressed your back firmly to it’s trunk.

Your breath shuttered, shook, halted and repeated.  You couldn’t remember how to breathe properly as you tried to be as quiet as possible.  Around that tree trunk and indeed caught in a metal trap was no animal.

It was a dragon.

You racked your brain trying to be reasonable.  Perhaps it was just a trick of the mind? A hallucination? Maybe the leaves you boiled earlier that morning was hallucinogenic and you were too careless about what you were brewing?

You peered one more time around the tree trunk to verify and your entire body sieed up again at the same dragon from the first time you saw it.  You didn’t hide immediately this time.  You stayed hidden, tucked away but examined the situation the best you could; even if every orpheus of yourself was telling you to run.

You weren’t too well versed on the dragon race, but this particular dragon you had read about before in a book once- but only briefly.  A wyvern you think it was called.

The creature was large, as tall as the trees- one fully grown yet you imagined. Or maybe it was because the creature was folded in on itself, crouched to the ground as it tugged on it’s trapped legs.

A large bear trap had sunk it’s sharp metal teeth into the scaled leg of the mighty creature.  With nowhere near enough space to try and fly away- trap attached or not- and no room to try and back away and shake it off or even break the chain that held the trap in place, the dragon was ultimately stuck in whining pain.

It’s scales were that of ashen red; the color of a fine blush, but rough to the texture like brick. It’s arms were large and folded inwards, the talons of either digging into the earth to steady itself and the other crawling at the trap futility. It’s long tail was curled around it’s back and the length of it disappeared behind the treeline where you knew it was barbed at the end.  It’s head was long, thin and had three horns- one on the end of its nose and two on either side of it’s head.

Needless to say, it was a wonder to witness.  A dangerous wonder, but wonder no less.

Dragons were a very rare sight around human territory.  They hated the human race and for reasons that you couldn’t blame them for.  Years ago, you had read about a war- if you could call it that- that took place between human and dragon.  

The humans in their invincible high from all sorts of discoveries and conquering of other places ahd decided to set their sights on the dragons.  If they could tame the mighty beasts and use them as war creatures- the people would reign over all. That’s what they had assumed.

They had no idea just what they had signed themselves up for when they marched into dragon country. The doom that took place was instantaneous for the first brave and foolish group of marchers and it only got worse.

A group of nearly 200 men were slaughtered at the hands of just a few dragons who were the first to be approached as mere animals.  Burned alive, crushes, eaten, slashed into ribbons- the humans stood no chance in hell.

Then, the dragon’s returned the favor.  The humans wanted war, so be it.  The dragon race was smart, far smarter than the average genius human being.  With magic on their side along with their mighty strength and numbers, they took to the humanlands and burned it to the ground.

This pathetic war lasted no longer than a week and nearly one-third of the human population was blown away from the very beasts they had wanted to tame and use.  

The two had long since left each other alone, no one wanting to repeat the past.  Humans fear dragons due to the stories- that was unavoidable. However, dragons live long and hate even longer.  They can hold a grudge longer than that of a devil or demon.  

That is what shook you to your core as you gazed at this one single dragon caught in the woods of the humanslands. Why was it so far from dragon country? Had it wandered here because of boredom? Perhaps was banished by the king of dragons you had known about.  Or maybe this dragon was just foolish. You weren’t sure and you less sure if you’d stick around long to find out.

The creature was a terror and the snarls and whines and cries that came from it were something that would surely haunt you in the middle of the night when you hear the wind howl. Regardless of that however, you felt pity for the dragon.  

As of the moment, it had hurt no one and you had heard no word of any dragon attacks.  It was just stuck, injured and helpless.  Before you could muster up the conscience to quietly leave, you stepped forwards just an inch and knocked a small rock from its place on a tree root.  

The dragon’s head whipped up, it’s sensitive nose finally catching a whiff of a different scent that wasn’t of woodland desence now that it was preoccucpied with this stupid bear trap.

It’s black coal eyes narrowed as it’s mouth opened to show its rows of white fangs that could easily devour you. A violent shiver ran through your entire body as your eyes connected with its own.  You were discovered and there was no going back down.