#hurt hiram

[mothmanchronicler]

cannot stop thinking abt the hiram lodge kill v. maim amv

[normiewizard]

this is an esoteric one sorry to my followers who arent into the riverdale abuse cycles niche. but wrt the hirarchie kiss ask going around i do think its interesting that it goes without saying for everyone that hiram would kiss archie. and like yeah of course because hes obsessed with him and a monster and a loser creep and the whole hirarchie thing is generally a desire to explore archie's feelings of being taken advantage of by someone sexy and horrible. BUT i would like to pose a scenario where at some point, early in their partnership and still reeling from the black hood hurting fred and ms. grundy, archie goes in for a kiss. and hiram does not do anything at all but just knows that about archie for the rest of the show. that aould also be fucked up and interesting right

[sidneylover122]

Or Nah

Warnings! Smut, G!P Y/N, Cursing

Y/n Andrews has been friends with Veronica Lodge since Veronica arrived in Riverdale. They became even closer when Archie, your brother, started dating Veronica. Over the time that you and Veronica have been friends, you had developed a crush on Hermione, Veronica’s mom. You knew that it was bad to have a crush on her best friend’s mom and married. Although, you couldn’t control the fact that you liked her. When Veronica’s dad came back in town, from prison, it hurt you. You hated the fact that your sliver of a chance with Hermione was now gone. Then, Hiram started making Archie do jobs and he then started making you do them. Although, Hiram was your brother’s boss, and Hermione was your boss.

One day, she had a job for you. She told you to meet her at her apartment. She told you that Hiram and Veronica weren’t at home. You were kind of weirded out by this, but you could never tell her no. You got to the apartment and waited for her to let you in. When she did, you were surprised to see her in lingerie. She closed the door behind you, and she had this predatory look on her face. She looked like she was about to eat you alive. You asked, “What is the job you had for me?” She said “I need you to pleasure me.” This shocked you but also enticed you. You wanted her. You needed her, and you couldn’t deny her request.

You began to take your clothes off as you leaded her to her bedroom. You were excited for what was about to happen. You closed the door and pushed her against it. You began to kiss her with passion. You had already taken off your jacket and shirt. She began to unzip your pants and pull them down. She then climbed on the bed and pulled you down on top of her. You told her to take off the rest of her clothes. You then stuck two fingers inside of her and thrusted it. You began to slam it into her at a fast pace. You watched her face contort in pleasure. At this point, you didn’t care about Hiram and the fact that you were sleeping with his wife. You cared about Hermione more than he did. You heard her moan and gasp. You then moved your fingers side to side. You heard her whimper. You loved her reactions and you wanted more. You then added a third finger and began to speed up your pace. She screamed “Y/N!” as she came.

You then flipped her so that she was on top of you. You then grabbed her and put her pussy on your mouth. She moaned as you began to lick her. She tasted so good. You then stuck your tongue inside. You thrusted it in and out to make sure that she felt good. She whimpered at the overstimulation, but you couldn’t care less by how cumdrunk you’ve become. You kept eating her until she came all over your face. You licked her clean. She moved lower so that she was cuddling you. You asked, “Did i pleasure you enough?” She said, “Yes, that was better than Hiram ever did.” You laughed and cuddled into her. You’d finally gotten the woman you needed.

[kerink]

heres your friendly reminder that you very much should listen to every liveshow if you're able. if you can't afford it (or find someone willing to lend it to you) then at least asking someone what happened or going to @cecilspeaks or the wtnv wiki and reading the available transcripts is strongly advised.

from my recollection, here are some of the main important things from the current liveshows:

The Debate: more info on hiram and the FOW's political platforms, marcus vanston becomes an angel, kevin can see the FOW's face

Condos: the in-canon reason why carlos' voice changed, carlos and cecil moving in together, what carlos thinks a perfect life would be, cecil saving carlos for once

The Librarian: i don't recall this one having anything with long-term relevance except for giving us a better understanding of the librarians, but carlos and cecil are horny at each other in it and that's always fun

The Thrilling Adventure Hour: this one i'm a hypocrite about and didn't listen to sorry

The Investigators: carlos is really cute in it but also very cringe and it hurt bulk a lot to listen to. cecil's desk is made entirely out of knives and he has a nest of owls in his office, pamela winchell is part falcon, cecil almost gets murdered. kevins in this one too if that sweetens the pot for anyone

Ghost Stories: get a lot of character insight for a lot of reoccurring characters and also learn a ton about cecil's childhood and relationship with abby. i consider this one to be the most important wtnv liveshow and if you can only get one, this is it

All Hail: info on the glow cloud's personality and motivations, info on deb's family, tamika flynn is immune to the glow cloud's mind control, pamela winchell is into deb, cecil describes his engagement ring, cecil admits he's aware that all his interns always die

A Spy in the Desert: deb knows every secret in town, cecil was stuck at 19, cecil cries every morning because he's getting older, this is where we first learn about esteban

The Haunting of Night Vale: this one doesn't have a transcript up for me to reference to so what i remember is that we get cecil's musings on how his childhood trauma is creating insecurity in himself as a husband and father, also we get to see cecil be a little sugar baby and carlos sweating over how much he's spending

The Attic: i wont spoil this one because it's on going

if anyone else has things they thought were important from the liveshows please feel free to add. i just went off my memory and a skim of the transcripts, which don't always transcribe all the bonus content

[yourthoughtsjim]

Spin the Bottle

Jughead Jones x reader, afab/femme

Warnings: daddy kink, praise, slight overstimulation, fingering

Word count: 2.9K+

It had been seven years since you last saw the town of Riverdale. Seven long years of rebuilding yourself after the horrors that you experienced during your residency. 

Pulling into the familiar light yellow house that was the Andrews’ residence, your heart pounded. Things between you, and the group of people you had once considered your friends, went in a not-so-savory direction. 

Last time you saw them, you got caught cheating on Jughead with Sweet Pea. You had no intentions of doing anything with Sweet Pea except to go undercover in the Ghoulies, but something in you snapped when you saw him in the pale moonlight. 

Taking a deep breath, you raise your hand to knock on the door. You start to fidget and look around nervously. It didn’t take long for the door to swing open. On the other side, you see Archie Andrews, who didn’t look much different from when you saw him in high school.

He gives you a polite smile and escorts you inside. That’s where you’re led to the dining room. That same dining room where you and the rest of the gang came up with plans to stop Hiram or The Farm.

Memories flood your mind of the countless times where the five of you would sit around the table after Mary had made a delicious meal whenever she was in town. It was almost surreal being back here, and not just in Archie’s house but in Riverdale as a whole. 

As soon as you walked in, you got Jughead’s attention first. His face went from one of a smile to one of sorrow. He remembered what you did to not only him, but his fellow Serpent. All of that pain resurfaced. 

The rest gave you sympathy smiles as they went on about their own conversations. You sit awkwardly across from Jughead. 

Finally, after the talking has died down a bit, you look at the beanie wearing comic book writer. “So, why was I called back? I thought you hated my guts.”

“Oh, y/n, I never truly hated you. Was I a little hurt? Absolutely, but you ran off before I could get a chance to tell you that.” He responds.

“I… oh.” Your voice drops to a whisper.

“Yeah…”

“What about Sweet Pea? I really honestly cared for him. I don’t know why I hurt him the way I did.” 

“He was beat up about it for a while but eventually, he learned to forgive you, just like you should forgive yourself. We were in high school. We all did and said some stupid things.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

Betty then reenters the room. “So, the reason I had asked everyone is… yes everyone…” She pauses looking at you. “There’s something brewing here. I don’t know what it is but we need to find out. I do, however, have an inkling on who’s behind it.”

Veronica rolls her eyes. “My father. Of course it is. You know, he can never have enough. He’s so selfish and narcissistic. I should’ve put a hit on him a long time ago. Maybe that’s what I’ll do. I am tired of him thinking he can get anything just because of his name.” Sighs are shared between all of you. 

“Okay, how are we going to find out more info? I want him out of my town.” Cheryl more or less demands it. 

“That’s what we have to figure out but for right now, we need to lay low. We can’t let Hiram know we’re planning something.” Archie says.

“That’s fair.” You respond.

“So, what do we do in the meantime?” Betty inquires.

Cheryl’s eyes lit up, “We all go to Thornhill and relive the glory days of our youth with a rousing game of spin the bottle, mayhaps?” 

There was a look shared between the group before your gaze landed on Jughead. To which you give a small smile. 

Later that evening, after a nice meal at Pop’s, you arrive at the mansion known as the Blossom residence. The smell of maple syrup filling your nose as you exit Archie’s hot rod. 

The sweet aroma had you feeling nostalgic for the old times. Where you would help them solve the mystery behind Jingle Jangle or Fizzle Rocks. You remember the times you spent at this very house just so Cheryl wouldn’t be alone with her family, much to her mother’s displeasure. 

“Well, hello, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, we will be having a spectacular evening filled with stories from when we were young. Now, please, follow me.” Cheryl instructs you all to the gathering room. 

There, candles are laid out precisely around the room, as is the Cheryl Marjorie Blossom way. On the floor was a large round red carpet. The same red the HBIC herself always wore on her lips.

Gesturing, she implores you all to take a seat. You sit across from Jughead and in between Cheryl and Betty. In the center was a glass bottle. 

“We will be pulling names out of a hat to determine the order.” Cheryl announces.

She holds the hat out in front of her and with a slow turn of her hand, she pulls out the first card. Dramatically, she turns it around before quickly reading it. “Kevin Keller!” She proudly shouts.

The son of the local sheriff leans forward and gives the bottle a whirl. He looks at the rest of the gang nervously as the bottle comes to a slow stop, pointing at Reggie. “Come on, Mantle, show me what you got.” Kevin states. The kiss was a decent one. Not too long and not too short. 

Of course, you were the last one chosen. You had already received kisses from Veronica, Betty and even Cheryl. Cheryl’s having the most passion behind it, naturally. 

Your hand was shaky as it landed on the bottle. Your heart raced as you spun it. You had hoped it wouldn’t land on anyone you didn’t really care for. 

Eyes widening, you see who it came to a halt on. Your ex, Jughead Jones. A chorus of “Ohh’s” roared around you. Your vision tunneled a bit, focusing on just him.

You timidly scooch closer to him. He had a smirk on his face. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “You’re just as pretty as I remember you being.” He comments. 

A blush crosses your face. “Jug…” You playfully smack him. 

You feel his hand on the back of your neck before he pulls you into the kiss. It felt as if the rest of the world melted away and it was just the two of you. A heat formed where it hadn’t in quite some time. 

Betty and Veronica had to practically rip you two apart before you got too into it. You wipe your mouth of the saliva that had gathered there. By the time you regain your composure, you realize just how heavy you were breathing.

“Talk about a blaze of glory. It seems like an old flame just got rekindled.” Cheryl remarks to Archie. 

Some of you had planned on staying at Thornhill that night. It was mainly the core four and then you. You make your way to your room for the night. The rooms you were to stay in had been randomly, or as you would come to find out not-so-randomly, picked by the bombshell herself. 

It was then you turn the knob. Entering you see your belongings on the bed to the right as you look to the left, you notice a familiar looking duffle bag. After looking at it for a few more moments, it clicks as belonging to Jughead. 

“Damn it, Cheryl.” You mutter under your breath. 

“Why are we damning a Blossom family member? I’m not opposed, I would just like the reason.” You jump at hearing Jughead’s voice. 

“O-Oh, it’s nothing.”

Jughead knew otherwise, however. “You know you can’t lie to me. You’ve never been able to.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are. I’m the only one who can see through that innocent exterior you shell yourself with. Now, tell me, what is it?” His voice was soft but stern.

“It’s… Cheryl knew what she was doing when she put you and I in the same room together.” You respond. You then sit on your bed awaiting for Jughead’s next statement. 

A soft chuckle came from him, “Maybe, but that doesn’t matter. Let’s talk about that kiss, shall we?” The question was spoken in a teasing tone. 

Your body temperature rose as each of his hands found the bed right next to your thighs. Your heart pounded in your ears as you went a tad lightheaded. You accidentally giggled when he lowered his head to yours so you were eye to eye. 

The Serpent King looked at your plush thigh before sliding his hand over it. He doesn’t do much, just rests there. He remembered how you like to be teased. It got you off almost as much as the sex itself. 

“It was almost as if you were desperate to kiss me. I could feel the pout in your lips against mine. So cute. Your desperation, that is. I also noticed the little whimpers you were letting out. Yeah, those ones. The ones you thought nobody could hear, but I remembered just how to pick those up even in the loudest of rooms.” He states as he gets closer to your ear.

His hand had reached up higher by the time he was done talking. It was sitting dangerously close to your clothed heat. A heat that was surely escaping. After all, you had decided to wear a skirt tonight. 

“Come on, remember how it felt for me to reach my hand in these, always soaked, panties.”

Your breath hitched as you felt his touch on your clit once again. “It’s pulsing against my fingers, just like it did before. Tell me, y/n, have you been with anyone else after me?” He inquires.

“Mhm, I h-have, a few actually.” You stutter out.

“Have they made you feel as good as I did?” His fingers were now circling your sensitive bundle of nerves. 

“N-No, they… You were the only one to truly satisfy me.”

“That’s what I thought.” The circles got faster, but only slightly.

Your legs had spread, unbeknownst to you. Your brows furrowed as you looked at your former lover in the eyes as he touched you like he once did. You tried to keep your wits about you. He was your ex, you really shouldn’t be doing this but at the same time, couples don’t stay apart forever in Riverdale.

“You’re so wet, princess. You must have gotten worked up earlier, or was this more… recent?” 

“B-Both.”

“So you’ve been sitting around in wet panties this entire time? Dirty girl.” He teases.

“Y-Yes.”

“Poor little serpent. Sat there so wet and sticky. You could’ve just come to me immediately.”

Serpent… that was a nickname he loved to use on you during your time as the Serpent Queen. It always made you feel special when he used it. Like you were his prized possession.

Jughead never let up pressure once. He knew how you like to be touched and that’s what he was going to do. 

The pleasure got to be too much and your mind snapped. “Daddy… I missed you.” You whine.

“Oh, you remembered my title. Good girl. Daddy missed his little princess too.” His voice is a touch raspy. 

That’s when he inserts two fingers in your cunt. You fit around them like a glove. Almost as if your cunt was made to take his fingers. As a writer, his fingers were quite nimble. He knew which spots to hit and how much pressure to give.

Your hips rolled into his hand, grinding your clit against the palm of his hand. “Desperate little bunny. Humping my hand like that. God, you’re so fucking hot when you get like this.”

“I just want my Daddy to make me feel good.”

“Of course, you do. That’s all you ever wanted. I bet you thought about me over the years when you were touching yourself or even when you were with other guys, huh?” He teases. 

You would be lying if you told him no. You thought about all the random hookups where you would accidentally moan out Jughead’s name or late at night, when your wand was on your clit and you were pressing down so hard while you grinded into it. You also remember how when you would hump your pillow, you sobbed wishing it was him.

“I did, Daddy. I thought about you so much. I just wanted to be your little girl again. I’m sorry I h-hurt you.” 

“I forgive you. Now, why don’t you show me that pretty face you make when you cum?” 

Your mouth hangs open slightly and you squeeze your thighs around his hand. “There it is. So gorgeous. Just like I remembered it.”

He slowed to a stop as your orgasm finished. It was intense. It almost left you gasping for air. You had forgotten just how good he could make you feel with just his fingers. 

“Did you know we were going to get back together tonight, or did you wear this pretty little skirt just because?” Jughead keeps teasing you.

“I-I… please. I’m sorry, I just want you back.” You plead with tears in your eyes. 

“Shh, it’s okay. Daddy forgives you. Now, just lay back and spread those pretty legs for me.” He gently commands. It was like you two had never broken up with how easy it was to remove each other’s clothing, save for your skirt and of course, his Serpent jacket he always liked to fuck you in. 

Legs spreading easily apart so that Jughead can take his rightful place in between them. Your eyes get blown wide open when you see him above you at long last, after all these years. Thinking back, you recall those nights when you had your vibe on your clit, pretending it was him controlling it.

Just like before, he slid every inch of his thick cock inside you at an agonizingly slow pace. Again, he fit inside you like a glove. Your insides curved perfectly with his cock, which made it easier for him to hit your g-spot every time. 

“I missed this sweet cunt, baby girl.” He growls. 

“I missed your cock, Daddy.” You whimpered. 

A quick passionate kiss was shared. Jughead also loved the way you moaned into his mouth. He drank up each and every one of them.

“That’s it, good girl. Fits around me so well, just like a good serpent should.” There he goes with that nickname again. You could cum right then and there but you held on. You held on until you wanted to drench the writer in your juices. 

Your mind flashes back to a nickname he liked to be called. “H-Hellcaster!” You scream out. 

He almost stops dead in his tracks but instead, he speeds up, fucking into you with reckless abandon. The name really got to him, made him feel powerful. 

“Call me that again.” The command comes out in a growl.

“Hellcaster! Fuck!”

A wicked grin appeared on his face. “That’s right.”

His thumb made its way to your clit and rubbed roughly, sending your legs spasming. You were so close it was bordering on painful.

“D-Daddy! Please, gonna cum.” 

“Cum all over my cock like a good girl.” He grabs you by the back of the neck and forces you to lock eyes with him.

Your vision blurred slightly when your orgasm rushed over you. You stayed true to your word and coated him in your squirt. Jughead followed suit not too long after you. “Shit!” He growled when his warm cum spurted into your swollen cunt.

“Messy, messy girl. Just how Daddy likes it.” He comments. 

The next several moments were spent on the two of you coming down from your highs. He even gave your body some small massages. 

Getting dressed in your pjs, you decide to head to the kitchen to get some water. As you open the door, your face drops when you see Betty, Archie, Veronica and even Cheryl standing there.

“U-Uh, how long have you been there?” 

“I can’t believe Jug likes to be called Hellcaster in bed.” Veronica states. Shit, a while then. They all heard you call him Daddy. This takes the cake for the most embarrassing moment of your life. 

“I do wonder what it’d be like for this pretty one to moan out Mommy.” She follows up. That sent a heat down to your already throbbing core. 

“We’ll have to find out one day, now won’t we?” Jughead comes up behind you and snakes his arms around your waist. 

“If you two are done, we would like to go to bed peacefully.” Cheryl almost demands.

“I don’t know, it has been a while since I’ve gotten to fuck her tight cunt, I might have to do it again.” Jughead teases. 

The red head rolls her eyes. “Goodnight.” Was the last thing she said before practically storming off. One by one the rest followed.

“So about that water?” Jughead lightens the mood.

“Yeah, yeah, come on… Hellcaster.” You purr in his ear.

“Keep it up and I’ll fuck you over the kitchen counter.”

“I’m counting on it.” You end with a wink.

[bireggiemantle]

What about Fred? He's not an archie or a bad dad

see I would argue that fred is a bad dad, though. sure he's nowhere near the levels of hal or nana rose in his parenting, but I just don't think he's a very present or active father to archie. fred views archie as an extension of himself, and ends up projecting a lot of his priorities and decisions onto archie because of that. it's why he seems so confused and offended by archie's decisions to pursue music, or his decision to step away from his dad's company. his aspirations, opinions, and priorities do not align with fred's and we often see fred attempt to shut them down before attempting to understand them. fred also doesn't seem very interested in archie's life. he rarely knows about what archie has going on, especially in season 2. he also holds archie to a weirdly high standard of maturity and independence and his anger towards archie over working with hiram is hypocritical and unexplained, especially since fred himself works for hiram. he gets angry with archie for accepting hiram's guidance and gifts while turning his back on archie and refusing to give him the support hes begun seeking out in hiram, which just results in archie growing closer and closer to hiram and getting hurt far worse than he would have otherwise. fred is also very rude to jughead, projecting fp's flaws onto jughead in the same way he projects his success's onto archie, and his choice to kick jughead out and "warn" archie against being friends with him is nothing short of cruel. fred also treats veronica negatively because of hiram's wrongdoings, and tries to get archie away from her. his policing of archie's relationships echos alice's manipulation of betty, particularly in the early show when she's attempting to convince betty to abandon jughead, archie, and veronica. fred rarely ever wants to hear archie's opinion on his friends, issues, or hobbies either, and doesn't take them into account when communicating with or about archie at all. id argue that mary is more involved than fred is, as we see her checking in with archie, providing him with patience and understanding, and offering him advice without outwardly judging or jumping to extreme conclusions about the nature of the people he loves/trusts. comparably, fred is far from the worst parent on the show, but that doesn't make him a good one either. he isn't abusive, but he's emotionally unavailable, unadaptable, and judgemental in a way that has some deep rooted negative consequences on archie, many of which are visible in the ways he values older male validation or the ways he idolizes his late father. I think archie's bond with fred is very interesting, but it's definitely not healthy, and fred is to blame for a good portion of why.

[random-imagines-blog]

Imagine almost getting caught with Hiram Lodge, by his daughter Veronica.

Music was playing softly through the speakers that were mounted around Hiram’s office in order to get the best acoustics in the room directly to the chair that he usually sat in. Classic, just like the man himself. Except he wasn’t in the chair right there, he was on the floor, shirt having been taken off a quarter hour ago, pumping himself up with push-ups. He had the physique of a man half of his age, you noticed and admired. He kept himself up well.

He was showing you his dominance. That he was better looking, that he was stronger, that he was more powerful than any of the men that had been hitting on you at the gym that afternoon. You hadn’t given those men a glance and yet .. his jealousy had flared up, bringing you this rather impressive show.

While this was going on, you were sitting atop his desk, still in your own workout gear. And it didn’t leave much to the imagination. Your legs were crossed, watching him, finally snapping your fingers to get his attention. “That’s enough, Hiram, I think you’ve proven yourself.” You slid off of the desk, landing on your bare feet. You held a hand out to help him up, though he hardly needed it. “You’ve got everything those men will never have - so why don’t you take advantage of it?”

He got up without your help. Now he was just showing off. But he took your hand anyway, holding your wrist up above your head and pushing you back against the wall. The edges of the bookshelves had all been rounded for this very reason, so that it wouldn’t hurt. Pressing you against it, his hand trailing low to into your shorts, feeling what was underneath with a smirk. “You going to be good and keep your hands up while I take these off?” He asked, his tone showing that it was not a question at all.

“Yes, Hiram,” You breathed.

You joined wrists above your head, crossing them as if they were tied up, stretching out your body the way that you knew that he liked. He tugged those shorts down, holding up your feet to help you step out of them. He kissed his way back up your body to your work-out shirt, and began to fumble underneath it, touching your chest, smooth fingers.

It was the footsteps at the door that alerted you. The sound there was more hollow, it echoed louder so that no one  could come up on Hiram unannounced. Your eyes caught his with panic. The familiar heels. The familiar walk. Veronica. “Sit,” He said, giving you a little push towards his desk. You stumbled your way there, sitting just in time so that only your upper half could be seen. You moved the mouse so that the screensaver was down, and you looked busy.

“--- and fifty,” Hiram said, having dropped back onto the ground for another push up before Veronica came walking in. “Evening, Veronica. And what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Still working out?” Veronica said, looking at him, and then at you. You smiled at her, hoping to God she wouldn’t notice that there was nothing below the waist. You were pushed further into the desk, making sure that it cut off before your waist. “I was just wondering if I could borrow some money, daddy.”

“Of course,” Hiram said. “I’ll put some on your card before you leave the house. Is that all?”

Veronica looked suspiciously between the two of you. But she was getting what she wanted, after all. “Thanks daddy-kins. I won’t stay out too late.”

“Be careful,” Hiram said. Veronica turned around and walked out, the heavy door closing behind you. You breathed out in relief and pushed the chair back. Before you could relax too much, Hiram was tugging you out of the chair. “Now where were we?”

Requested by: Anonymous

[mean-vampyre]

The Betty-Veronica-Hiram hate triangle it's something that could ve so powerful because if Archie-Veronica-Hiram was based on having a homoerotic relationship with the dad of your gf because he is your father figure replacement who turns evil and betrays you, the BVH is having an explicit hate relationship with the dad of your gf because your own father is evil and you can see how your girl's dad would hurt her the same way your father did to you so you are trying to save her from that but you have to tap into your evil tendencies to do that and he thinks you are the one who is going to hurt her because your dad is crazy and you have his genes. So in the end he is kinda right but you think you can love her better than he could and he thinks you cannot love her right and she thinks he is homophobic and you are being overprotective.

[davycoquette]

Four Lines Writing Share

Baby Shy finds a body. A line about water:

You can see the veins like frozen lightning bolts on the back of his hand, which drifts lazily under the water, swollen and puffy.

Teenager Shy has a dream. A line about laughter:

It’s too cold for sleeping, anyhow, but your fever spikes just high enough you can dream all the same. And when you dream, you dream about runnels of blood through cracks in concrete, like it’s joined the veins of the earth. But you dream beyond pavement, too, back to home, back to the laurel slicks, draping yourself across cold stone to lean over singing creeks or to hear the shush-roar of the river. Supper on the stove, a hard, flat, biscuit in your hand. A wild west duel you lost to Ryan, when you fell clutching the blueberry stain on the front of your shirt and kicked and thrashed in your death throes on the bedroom floor. Your mother’s hands clapping clumsily, her soundless laughter.

The deserter Rideout Wren talks about himself. (If you remember Alice, this is her brother!) A line about books:

It is my belief a man needs little else to sustain him other than for entertainment. Not that I lack the mental resources to sit in stoic silence; I can, and will, and have for long stretches. But more than my thoughts I enjoy a book, particularly an account of the American or European adventurer as he investigates wild lands overseas I will not visit outside reading on them.

Cowboy!Shy converses with old Gideon Kelly of the Hiram Kelly Gang. A line about wood:

Gideon offered no help. “No choice,” he said. “He knows you botched that job on Brown. Ain’t too happy, I wager.”

“Yeah, well,” Shiloh said, spotting the knives on a counter by the wood burning stove, “I planted the watch he gave me.”

“Not where nobody could find it,” Gideon muttered, rocking vehemently while Shiloh began tucking knives away. “You’re lucky it’s jus’ you they’s after.”

“Of course it’s just me. What’re they gonna do with Jackson?”

“Torture ‘im into confessin’ to save your hide, I wager.”

Thank you for the tag, @sableglass! I love these.

I definitely played "find the word" rather than digging lines ABOUT these words, but I did my best!

The assignment to my taglist: Find a line about hurt, a line about disgust, a line about apathy, and a line about euphoria.

@albatris

@capnmachete

@harmonic-melodii

@illarian-rambling

@michellekarnold

@nathaniel-zellos

@sableglass (you tagged me but if you wanna go another round by all means 😈)

@saturnine-saturneight (if you're back from your hiatus! if not, pls disregard!)

@cowboybrunch

[southern-gothic-comic]

Page 2

Next 💜 Back 🖤 First

(Author Notes)

Panel 1: Imogen does her morning chores. In the barn she feeds the horses, who are affectionate towards her.

Panel 2: Then milks the goats, smiling at some eager barn cats nearby.

Panel 3: Finally she collects eggs from the henhouse.

Panel 4: Now dressed for the day, she joins her father, Relvin, at the table for breakfast. He is a gruff, taciturn man, and they eat without looking at each other. The kitchen is tidy but slightly dilapidated, with plaster peeling on the walls under the paint.

Relvin: Got a lot to do in the fields today. Gonna need you to go to the market.

Imogen: I could help out in the fields.

Relvin: No, you couldn’t. One of them big hay bales’d squash you flat. Sorry, butterbean. I know it ain’t your favorite, but you have to go into town sometimes.

His Thoughts: Lookin’ tired, wonder if she’s been havin’ those dreams of hers again.

Imogen: All right.

Panel 5: She rises from the table, taking her plate.

Relvin: Genny, you be careful out there. Hiram Strickland told me yesterday that he saw some strange creature prowlin’ the woods behind his henhouse. Says he thought it was a ghost at first but ghosts don’t steal eggs. 

Imogen: Hiram Strickland also thinks kobolds stole his wheelbarrow.

Relvin: Heh. S’pose so. But Gladys Weatherbee also ‘pparently had a load of sheets go missin’ from her clothesline. You know how it is with these town rumors. Might be nothin’. But it don’t hurt to be safe.

Imogen: I’ll be careful.

Relvin: And don’t you go pokin’ around in others’ minds, y’hear? Folks don’t like that.

Imogen: I’ll try.

Panel 6: As she leaves, we can see the exterior of the house is weathered and in a state of slight disrepair.

Relvin: And stay outta the woods!

[jugheadvarchoni]

Ranking every Riverdale Season (from worst to best)

Reminder: this is just MY opinion. Feel free to share your own!

7. Season 5

With the exception of the first 3 episodes (which I just consider to be part of 4), this season was just a huge nothingburger disappointment. The idea of a time jump was cool, and it even started out okay. Then it quickly went off the rails and not only fell back into repeat territory but the jump itself was just executed so poorly… I was beyond done with Hiram villain stuff atp. The Mothmen were fine, just nowhere near as good as the Gargoyle King or Black Hood for me. Too many characters are written TOO awfully (especially the queer characters) and sometimes it feels like they tried to cram way too much into it. It just leaves the season feeling bloated and incoherent. Best parts by far were Toni getting a big role and the introduction of Tabitha.

Still, those weren’t enough to save the season imo. Overall S5 felt the least like Riverdale to me & it was lowkey boring a lot, so it gets last place. Boo. 🍅

6. Season 4

I’m actually so serious when I say I really love this season. S5 is probably the only one I dislike, the rest of these can change at the drop of a hat lol.

The main reason I’m putting S4 here is that it was very hit or miss with my enjoyment of the storylines. Jughead’s stuff at Stonewall was okay. Cheryl got another unhinged story when she should’ve been getting therapy, Archie’s story was mind-numbing, The Auteur was creepy and great until it was revealed to be Jellybean (wah-wah-wah). Maybe it has to do with COVID throwing things off, but the whole season was just a little lackluster and disjointed. Also, TICKLE-PORN?????

The tribute to Luke Perry was beautiful tho. Miss him. 💔

5. Season 1

ALRIGHT. Before you pull out those pitchforks, just hear me out. It’s an incredible season, it’s the most well-written, the tone was amazing, and it set everything up perfectly.

But I do think that because it’s only the first season, and because it’s so short, a lot of the dynamics I personally love just don’t exist. Toni isn’t on the show yet. And I feel like part of what made Riverdale stand out, WAS the craziness and the willingness to do literally anything remotely cuckoo, which S1 just didn’t have. I’m just personally very attracted to wackiness of the other seasons. It’s a little overrated.

But again, this still season is INCREDIBLE and I’m still obsessed with its’ vibes.

4. Season 7

Don’t hurt me. 😭

But buckle up, because I have a lot to say here.

I REALLY had such a good time with this season… I mean, the Choni of it all is really want gets me obsessively thinking about this season on a daily basis. The way they were treated in the first half is everything I wished for them back in the earlier seasons. If this were a ranking based on Choni throughout the seasons, S7 would be #1. Kevin also got a ton of great stuff. S7 was so kind to the queer characters… Other than them, I just love how they got to have FUN. They took us back in time and basically just put the characters into an old-timey Archie Comic. Ridiculous but entertaining side plots that actually kept me interested and put the characters in a totally new environment. And despite the fact that people seem to want to ignore this, they ARE still the characters we’ve known and loved since S1, they just didn’t remember. But the memories are still there, and still inform all of their decisions and relationships.

Unfortunately, my biggest gripe with S7 is the way it feels disconnected to the rest of the show overall. They really let the comet story flop hard. Even if we decided to stay in the 50s in the end, we should’ve had way more time with our characters with their memories. They should’ve had conversations that were long overdue, that circle back and bring things to a close, the way final seasons should. I would’ve preferred they go back to the present, but in an altered timeline due to all the changes made to their lives. Tabitha was WASTED and thrown away and it makes me so mad tbh. They chickened out with the Varchie vs Barchie thing and instead we got that dumbass polycule and everyone dating everyone only for literally no one to end up with anyone (except Choni & Clevin uwu). The later half is especially a letdown, because that’s when we should’ve been ramping up to the end with their memories and certain people coming back together. Instead, we just got a lot of randomness. Which, while fun, doesn’t make for a good final season imo.

I think this season would’ve been ranked in my top 3 had it NOT been the final one…

It’s such a polarizing season for me and that’s why it’s smack dab in the middle!

3. Season 2

What a lot of people consider the glory days lol.

Everything that was well-established in S1 was built on and just made even better. The dynamics between the core four and each one of their storylines was spot on and interesting. Black Hood is probably the most interesting mystery villain we ever had on the show and delving deeper into the Cooper family was great. The slasher horror movie vibes with Black Hood’s story & his victims were just elite.

The season was darker and full of lots of twists and turns, which I always appreciate to keep my on my toes. We got introduced to Toni and Choni was born!

It did have some meh stuff tho, the Archie vs Hiram wasn’t all that interesting to me in this season, even though I DO like Hiram a lot. He’s always been an intriguing character to me, I just think he was severely overused. I also don’t like Bughead lol. The Chic stuff is hit or miss. It was bordering on crazy, but not quite at that sweet spot yet.

Overall this season was more exciting and deeper than even the likes of S1. And this is, of course, where we started getting into the Southside Serpents and the gang wars, which I think is such an iconic aspect of the show. Just a fun, deeper, more interesting season for me!

2. Season 6

I’m a sucker for witches and magic and time travel shenanigans, so this season was RIGHT up my alley. Rivervale, Sabrina, the spookiness, Cheryl’s witch arc, Percival was great, Tabitha getting to shine, I loved SO much of this season. Having one villain, that they all focus on I think did wonders for the cohesiveness of the season. Almost everyone got involved in it, there weren’t as many tangential storylines, and the buildup to the comet was so much fun. It was the perfect blend of camp and wackadoodleness and serious life/death stuff.

The worst part for me, is the ships. Tangs being a plague on society and them making Toni’s whole storyline about being a mother (a bad, awful one ugh). Fangs was never a standout to me, but they just made him insufferable this season. The custody battle was insanely stupid and a waste of time. “Baby Anthony” sucked (Dale FTW). Barchie has always bored me. Cheryl/Heather just felt like besties lol. The ships suffered hard in this season lol.

Still, we got Choni confirmed soulmates and Thabigail + Jughead/Tabitha were cute. So that aspect wasn’t ALL bad.

Tonally, it’s soooo different from the other seasons but I think they strike a better balance between mystery villainous plot and campiness than the other seasons. I ate up the supernatural and horror stuff, the plot is one of the most consistent in the whole show, there’s good character development and I just loved the craziness. They easily redeemed themselves after that abysmal S5. 🙏

1. Season 3

Ahhh PEAK insanity. Wild, compelling, dark but also silly af sometimes. The show went off the rails in the best way and I have a blast every time I watch it. A true fever dream. They embraced the crazy and I think that’s what sets it apart from all the other seasons. Imo, there isn’t a single “bad” episode here. They were still in high school, giving us that teenage drama/those dynamics that made Riverdale what it is. My fav ships were together (not without their drama), there was an intriguing mystery with the Gargoyle King. The flashback episode with the parents was amazinggggg and I loved everything about the Gryphon’s and Gargoyle’s storyline and how it trickled down to affect so many people. The atmosphere of the season, the main cast that got focus and actually got to have screentime together, Heathers heing probably their strongest musical. I love it SO MUCH.

There are some weaker points tho. There is a lot that happens this season, like A LOT. But I enjoyed it so much that I lowkey give it a pass for being so convoluted. Dilton was wasted and killed off after not getting much in general. Bughead & Veggie suck. I wish the G&G and Cult stuff had been intertwined better.

An organ harvesting cult led by Chad Michael Murray? Archie fighting a bear? Mass seizures? Babies thrown into a fire and then levitating? Veronica opening a speakeasy as a teenager? Choni cat burglars? Archie in juvie? Bunker sex? Speakeasy sex? Fizzle rocks? Killer DnD? THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL?

I-C-O-N-I-C. Riverdale is at its best for me when it doesn’t care about being a normal gritty teen show. Maybe this season was a little messier, but I think the sheer fun and craziness more than makes up for that. Everytime I rewatch this season, I enjoy the crap out of it and am reminded why I love these characters and this silly little show so much. ♥️

So to recap:

S3 > S6 > S2 > S7 > S1 > S4 > S5

P.S: if there’s a major typo or I put something in the wrong season, lemme know. I just regurgitated this all from memory when I woke up so my thoughts were hella jumbled…

[sumquiasum]

would you rather have a hiram redemption arc or a veronica villain arc? and what would they consist of?

VERONICA VILLAIN ARC!!!! I think post-time-jump she should have been a villain, truly her very worst self, she should have hurt the people she cares about only to realise that this isn't her and claw her way back to herself. Veronica has always been somewhat morally grey in a fun way but I would have loved if they had actually leaned into the fact that growing up as she did her moral compass is all kinds of messed up. There's potential in s5, especially since it's somewhat implied she has been in touch with Hiram during the time jump, but I also would have loved something in s6, her spiraling worse over literally being toxic and seeing that as sealing her fate. Anyway. Would give anything for a proper Veronica villain arc.

[saturnaftertaste]

what if hiram and archie but they're both girls

what if we were hiram and archie . and we were both girls

interesting premise, anon! it could go lots of different ways imo. really depends on the configuration. see one of the things that really creates the unique dynamic of hiram/archie is the fact that it’s built on the very patriarchal patterns of father-son relationships and ALSO the mafia/mob/cartel whatever (crime rings, essentially, are a male business.)

(there is also the question of race, but.)

hiram is brought into the mob the same way that archie is turned into a capo in season 2. i think before anything else, that is what shapes their dynamic that hiram does Wrong and archie Tries to Do Right. that’s the thing that shapes the entirety of season 2, right? archie wants to Do Right (protect fred) -> hiram offers him a way to do that by Doing Wrong (suggesting he start a vigilante group). archie then gets sucked into hiram’s world, with the lure of what i would call very male narrative motivations (this doesn’t mean these apply to men alone, but in fiction, are often seen as inherent traits for a male character to have) such protectiveness - over fred and veronica, power - over those who would seek to hurt fred and veronica. there was a point somewhere in the thousands of meta posts i’ve devoured in the last two days that fred getting shot makes him weak in archie’s eyes, and that hiram’s traditionally “powerful” persona becomes very attractive to him in the time following the fred incident.

have you ever heard of the theory of homosociality, anon?

the thing about the mafia, like i said before, is that it is a predominantly male business. the women, like hermione often cites in s2 to veronica, are supposed to stand behind their man as he makes his moves. the issue with hiram is the same issue that logan roy had in succession, which is that he had no acceptable male heir, so he does, again, what logan roy did: used his idiot son-in-law as a conduit for power. (idiot here used affectionately for archie, derogatory for tom wambsgans) what’s interesting to me is that hiram obviously prides himself on veronica having turned out to be such a cunning, self-sufficient young woman - and while this frustrates him as well, i have to believe that as some point he must’ve considered handing his empire over to her. but the fact remains that ultimately the mafia is a male business, and archie-and-veronica would’ve been a really odd, controlling couple because veronica would be running everything from behind archie’s stature. she does so, even, with nick st. clair and the speakeasy/casino side hustle in s2. she still has to rely on a man to pull the strings.

you know the riverdale genre theory? because of the way that hiram’s entire character is constructed around the mafia, and by extension, so is veronica’s relationship with archie, i think a lot of archie and hiram’s relationship has to specifically with their gender. think about it - none of the women on riverdale have such an intense relationship with the girls on the show who aren’t their daughters. even though alice HATES hermione and veronica, she doesn’t do anything more than forbid betty from being friends with veronica. mary doesn’t really interact with veronica the same way that hiram does with archie. gladys never even comes into meaningful contact with betty - for that matter, neither does hermione. all the girls have very complex minefield-esque relationships with their mothers, but none of the rivermoms ever reach out to the other daughters.

i would say on some level archie and hiram’s relationship cannot be replicated if they were female; say, for example, that hiram were to be woman, and still married to hermione; a lesbian mob boss would always be fighting her way into again, what is predominantly a male space. i don’t think she would’ve had the time to groom female!archie the same way into becoming her capo, because it wouldn’t supplement her position in the mafia to have more female capos. i believe if hiram were female, also, and veronica was still her daughter, there would be no focus on female archie (veronica’s gf in this scenario) and instead, veronica would have a very fraught, tense relationship with hiram instead, because hiram would be actively trying to groom her to take over the empire (?) instead of spoiling her and treating her as someone who would eventually marry into a different position of power. veronica would then fight hiram on all these things, because her girlfriend archie would be protesting against all the evil things that fem!hiram is doing, because fem!archie would be able to see it from the outside of the relationship. riverdale loves a mother-daughter struggle.

if, say, instead, this was a genderswap situation, where hermione is male and hiram is female, and veronica is male and archie is female, i believe nothing would really come of it either. again, fem!archie would be trying to convince veronica that male!hermione is evil, but male veronica would’ve been indoctrinated a long time ago. hiram being female and archie being female completely sap all the tension from their relationship, because all of a sudden fem!hiram would be using her cunning to ensure male!hermione stayed on top of everything, and fem!archie would be busy trying to ensure male!veronica wouldn’t succumb to the dark side. they would simply never interact! riverdale wouldn’t put them in the same room, even. it is possible i just lack imagination; but i just think the layers of repression and violence that form archie and hiram just don’t click in the same way if they were women. i don’t know.

(i do think, though, that fem!hiram would be a very possessive boymom over male!veronica. perhaps there’s something there? fem!hiram beefing with fem!archie over male!veronica’s attention? even so, riverdale, for all its female characters, doesn’t really do non-familial intergenerational interactions all that much. i have a jughead-meta reason for why this is, but that’s a story for a different time.)

[riverdale-retread]

Archie 😔😭🥲

You know. ... Having given thought to the Archie-Hiram dynamic and seeing all the analysis and lore around Archie by the Archie Fandom Proper (I'm Jughead Fandom, tbh) I understand your feeling. I do. Part of why I resist it, by the way, is because Jughead is so consistently hysterical about him until Season 7. You know how a lot of S7 was the show curing or trying to cure the badness of the past? (Like say, not giving Archie Grundy the predator, and instead casting her as a not pedophile teacher who knows how to enforce boundaries that protect the child). The Archie obsession fading away for Jughead in S7 is, to me, the show saying the Archie obsession was actually bad for Jughead, as well as Archie. Oops I've brought it around to Jughead but - the obsession/adoration/worship (and the attendant rage/ disappointment/pressure) that Jughead had for Archie hurt both of them.

[doctorcurdlejr]

go on your ten most recently listened to songs that have lyrics, then assign portions of their lyrics to different riverdale characters.

Well okay this is mostly Charli XCX with a few riot grrrl songs thrown in yay okay let's go

I never thought for a second / my voice was in your head / "Girl, you walk like a bitch" / when I was ten, someone said that - Charli XCX, The girl, so confusing version with lorde

Veronica Lodge!!! This entire song speaks really well to her dynamic with Betty

It's okay to just admit that you're jealous of me / yeah, I heard you talk about me, that's the word on the street - Charli XCX, Von Dutch

Cheryl Blossom, veritable queen bee and well known for showing up places unprompted with Hello street urchin I've heard tale that my gorgeous moniker has taken to falling off your ill-begotten lips as of late, understandable as that may be, I suggest you pick up a new vice before your little obsession stops being cute. Tick tock!

In Christian Dior, I'm a blessin' (it's lit) / too busy livin my life / I ain't even see your message (still) - Normani, Still

Hermione Lodge, specifically once she became a Real Housewife and Hiram would pathetically watch her on TV

Cute, sexy and my ride's sporty / those slugs know they can't catch me - Charli XCX, Vroom Vroom

Reggie managing the car dealership after his father sold him off to pay for gambling debts

Sending me flowers, I'm just tryna get lucky / yuck, lookin' at me all sucky / yuck, quit acting like a puppy - Charli XCX, Yuck

This is SO Betty turning down Archie's marriage proposal

I swear that I love nothing more than broke / I always let the good ones go - Charli XCX, Good Ones

Gay Kevin loves, I mean just ADORES, picking awful guys as a form of self destruction

Can I take you to the airport? Make out under the bathroom lights / Put your lips on my lips, I'll remember your kiss - Charli XCX, Beg for You ft. Rina Sawayama

Jughead Jones, well known for walking his lovers straight to the exit! There's the ever iconic running away with Archie, as well as his last kiss with Tabitha before she wipes his mind. He's constantly begging people not to leave him ❤️ yay

I don't mind sitting in the way, way back / I don't mind lying to my friends / one thing about Forsythia / she comes around and I get lost / against her yellow, I'm no longer me - Veruca Salt, Forsythia

Archie Andrews ☹️ his relationships with Grundy and Hiram especially, but he has a general propensity for losing himself in relationships

When that crown falls of your head / will you still feel better of dead? / I wanna see something else / why won't you show me something else? - Lunachicks, Less Teeth More Tits

Toni for sure. In general she's an activist, but I think this also applies to her relationship with Cheryl.

Way to go, way to flip off everyone / I steal your thunder then I try to bolt / but I could stand a little pity now and then - Veruca Salt, Volcano Girls

This is a very Veronica thing to me. She was constantly apologizing for her meaner impulses when it came to her conflicts with Betty

Making every motherfucker turn / fell from Heaven, no, it didn't hurt - Kesha, JOYRIDE

THIS IS LITERALLY TABITHA MY FAVORITE ANGEL TABITHA 🙀

[lashesandwishes]

a year later, I miss Riverdale. Now that a lot of time has passed, I am sooo frustrated by the finale.

Barchie. Them not ending up together still hurts. Rewatching scenes from the earlier seasons, them being endgame made so much sense…and the last season just fades them out completely. In my fan brain, I kinda want to hope that Betty’s version of events in the finale isn’t true, because although I think married/with a family is what Archie wants, I’m sad it wasn’t with Betty. It does kind of sound like she kept in touch with him, maybe?

Jeronica. Season 7 was soooo good on that front, and I got way more than expected. I so badly wanted them to end up together, and I guess I could fan wank that since neither married, it’s possible they did date off and on? Jughead seemed kind of sad that he never married and I’m like…why did they pick this ending for him? So all of the core 4 except Archie remains single? These people who were never single for more than ten minutes since they were 15 years old all stayed single? Really?

Tabitha. I get why the actress wasn’t in the season much but wow did her storyline end with a whimper. It was really unsatisfying and her relationship with Jughead got little closure.

Hiram. So I was convinced he was going to show back up and not really be dead, but then he stayed dead so…did that plot line seem weird to anyone else?

I miss this show even with the lackluster finale.