#hurts me to censor words in here but i need this to show up in the tags lmao

[kdramamilfs]

펜트하우스 (The Penthouse) - 1.10

[spatialwave]

𝐝𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒.

"𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑”

pairing: angus tully x fem!reader | benny o’donnell x fem!reader word count: 4.9k summary: with the party in full swing, you find yourself trapped between an unstoppable force (angus) and an immovable object (benny). it’s a love triangle you’d never asked to happen, but when you lacked important decision making, you could only get away with so much. while drunk, high, and full of emotions, you’re hit with a question — who will you choose? warnings/tags: mdni! slight mostly censored smut, kissing/making out, sexual touching, angst, hurt/comfort, underage drinking and drug use, jealousy, love triangle, name-calling, emetophobia/reader v*mits. notes: only one more chapter!!! :')

<- chapter three. | chapter five. →

This was your first time at the moonlight tower, a large, slightly wooded area that was lit up by the floodlights fixated on the large structure. By the time you arrived, the alcohol and weed in your system had been diminished to minimal effects––you were not here to be sober, you knew that much. 

“Where’s the kegs?” You were the first to ask as the vehicle rolled to a stop amongst the sea of others, some still sitting in their seats, gossiping and toking. Sliding out of the back, you landed on the grass with a soft huff as you looked around. You had never seen this many people at a party since you moved here, your lips curved up into a smile as it reminded you of the wild nights back home in California. A bonfire on a beach with dozens of drunk teens, basking in the bright moonlight and fresh smell of the ocean… oh, how you wished you could show Kaye and Shavonne the beauty of it.

“I see one,” Kaye pointed ahead as you girls stayed together in a flock, your eyes drifting to the side as you walked past two boys smoking from a bong, one of them nearly coughing up a lung.

“I should've stolen beer from Teddy when I had a chance,” you murmured, “You think Wooderson got enough kegs for everyone here?”

“You’d be surprised at his ability to know exactly what he needs,” Shavonne grinned, showing her pearly whites as spun on her heels to walk backward toward the party, “I think you have a drinking problem, Missy.”

“Me?” You gawked, pointing your finger against your chest with a quizzical look plastered on your face.

“Either that, or you’re trying to get drunk so you can avoid dealing with the consequences of your actions,” she chewed on your bottom lip, grinning when you couldn’t formulate a response, “Bingo! I knew it.”

“You can’t lead them both on, you know,” Kaye spoke from your left, another cigarette already lit and resting between her fingers, “and this is coming from someone who doesn’t give a shit about men and their feelings, but Angus,” she murmured, brows furrowing together, “he’s a really nice guy. Nicer than Benny could ever be.”

Her words made your stomach coil uncomfortably, cringing at the mere idea of finding Benny and telling him it's over. It wouldn’t bother you so much, sure, you’d miss his touch and comfort that was a near-addiction… but it would be hopefully replaced. You weren’t certain that he would feel the same.

“No, no, no,” you shook your head, “No lecturing me tonight! I’m allowed to make dumb decisions, and my first dumb decision is pounding back as many beers as I can hold.”

“Oh, god,” Kaye grinned, “I’m not taking care of you at the end of the night.”

You could only hold two beers, both had settled nicely in your stomach, having chugged them within 5 minutes of each other, and you were delighted to feel that familiar buzzing in your system that kept a smile settled on your lips. Sabrina had wandered off somewhere, likely to find Tony, while Shavonne just finished excusing herself so she could spend some time with Elise and Darla––much to your dismay. You could already imagine the gossip that would spread.

Clutching your third drink now, you and Kaye had settled against a large tree, standing side by side and watching as people laughed together, some stumbling after drinking far too much too quickly. Normally, you’d be right in there, dancing to whatever song was playing and shooting back beers like there were no tomorrow, but even two beers couldn’t settle your racing mind.

“What if I piss off Benny?” You turned your head to look at your brunette friend, meeting her darkened gaze as she finished off her second beer, “I mean, maybe I’m overthinking it, but it feels like he’s into this way more than I am.”

Kaye inhaled as she crossed her arms over her chest, “Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Is it going to be harsh?” You asked, crinkling your nose as she nodded, “Go on.”

“You need to break it off as soon as possible because I may not know Benny on a personal level, hell, I don’t like him on a personal level, but he’s been starting to look at you with these eyes that scream ‘I am in love’. Or at least infatuation, I think love is too strong,” her words making your eyes widen, “you need to pull the brakes on it before you go starting something with Angus. Neither of those boys deserve that.”

“That’s not fair, Angus is still dating Elise,” you pouted, lifting a hand up to feel your cheeks that were beginning to feel uncomfortably hot, “Those are double standards.”

Kaye smiled, reaching a hand to your other cheek and giving it a few gentle pats, “Life sucks, doesn’t it? It’s a man’s world.”

“Is that supposed to be comforting?” You blinked a few times.

“Not at all.”

Both you and Kaye shared a good laugh as you both grew tipsier as the night went on, practically attached at the hip as you wandered around to find another keg. Four beers was a bit much, you knew this the moment that you got halfway into the red solo cup because you felt a pain in your stomach, and you did not want those cheese fries coming back up.

You weren’t drunk yet. Very buzzed? Absolutely.

“I’m going to go back to the car, I forgot my cigarettes,” Kaye said into your ear before disappearing into the sea of people. You stayed put for a few seconds, thinning your lips as you held your cup and looked over the partygoers, but you were on the brink of being downright drunk, so of course you couldn’t remain still.

Tossing your unfinished beer over your shoulder, you decided to venture around and see who you might run into. Confidence coursed through your veins as you stopped to talk to people here and there, mostly classmates, sometimes a few random people that seemed either too young or old to be seniors. 

You couldn’t help that you were a chatty drunk. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Benny’s voice was hot against your ear as you felt arms wrap around you from behind, lifting you up until your feet were off the ground.

“Benny!” You laughed giddily, kicking your legs until he placed you back on solid ground. You spun around quickly, looking up at him as his arms remained around you, hands settling on the curves of your hips, “You’re drunk,” you told him, lifting a hand to playfully tug at the ball cap he wore.

“You’re the drunk one,” he chuckled, taking a few steps back with you as he settled against the side of his truck, your body still completely wrapped by his strong arms. 

“Hardly drunk,” you murmured, chewing on your bottom lip as you stared up at the blue-eyed boy, the one you’d spent many nights with. The one who knew your body better than anyone else.

It was a nasty predicament to be caught in, though, it had a rather easy answer. It just so happened that you were too weak to say what needed to be done, even drunk. You couldn’t stand there in his arms and even begin to imagine the look of disappointment on his face when you tell him you need to end things, not tonight. Not on your first night of freedom after junior year.

Fuck, this really wasn’t fair, was it?

“Did you wanna’ come to my place later?” Benny asked, his hands migrating further down your back until they were low enough to grab at your ass, a cheeky smile on his lips.

You let out a shaky exhalation, lips twitching––just do it. 

“Maybe,” you smiled, ignoring the gnawing reality in the back of your head and displacing it until you were sober again, “What’re you going to do? Try steal me away from the party?”

You really did have a problem. Kaye was right, you fed off of male attention, and Benny just so happened to be the one showering you in it.

“Yeah, I’d steal you,” Benny winked.

Only a few minutes later, the two of you were in the cab of his truck, him sitting in the middle with you straddling his hips as you sat over his lap. You’d been in this position dozens of times, his hands on your hips as your lips moved together desperately, tasting beer, cigarettes and mint gum. Your arms were always snug around his neck, fingers brushing into his tight curls after knocking the hat from his head.

Neither of you seemed to care that anyone could watch if they wanted, hell, Melvin and a couple of girls were sitting in the truck bed laughing and drinking, completely unbothered by the horny teens that were seconds away from undressing each other.

“Fuck, Benny,” you whimpered against his lips, tilting your head back so he was forced to pepper kisses along your jaw and neck, sending shivers down your spine.

The world spun as you stared up at the ceiling of the truck’s cab, eyelashes fluttering as you felt him suck a mark just underneath your ear and too dazed to try to push him away or berate him for doing so. You just kept your hands in his curls and your chest pushed out as his lips trail down your collarbone and around the straps of the floral halter top you wore.

Both of you had no intention of stopping, the beers in your system removing any and all inhibitions. Gone were the thoughts of Angus, and Kaye’s advice––all you knew was that right now, you had someone willing and eager to give you the attention you desired. It wasn’t so bad to know what you wanted.

Benny’s hands trailed up your bare sides, fingers pressing underneath the tight fabric of the top that clung to your skin as his lips moved down your exposed cleavage. You could feel your body growing warm, your hips twitching over his lap as you parted your lips to let out a quiet sound.

“You’re so perfect,” you heard him say under his breath against your skin and somehow, those words managed to stir a sour feeling in your stomach. Back came Kaye’s voice about how Benny was infatuated with you, and only now did you understand what she meant.

The poor guy wanted you more than just nights like these, he worshipped the very ground you walked on. He wanted to call you his.

Your hands dropped from his hair and rested on his shoulders as a hand moved to the back of your neck, fingers teasing at the knot that kept your halter top covering your chest. As you swallowed a lump down your throat, you tilted your chin down to meet Benny’s gaze, seeing the way his blue eyes sparkled.

This was bad.

“Woah!” The sound of a voice startled you both, Benny’s hand quickly dropping as you both looked over and saw Mel standing at the driver’s door with the window rolled down, “Didn’t know you guys were putting on a show for us,” he grinned from ear to ear, wagging his eyebrows at you.

You felt like you were going to be sick as you slid off of Benny’s lap and settled into the passenger seat, looking out the front window as the boys chatted. You didn’t quite make out what they were saying, but something about a keg needing to be tapped.

“Hey,” Benny caught your attention, your eyes flickering to him as he put his hat back on, “I’ll be back in a bit. You’ll stay here?” Your mouth had gone dry and all you could do was smile and nod, feeling your heart tighten as a smile spread across his lips while he left.

You were silent for a minute, blinking a few times as you looked ahead at the tree Benny had parked toward. 

“Nope, no,” you breathed to yourself, turning to the door and quickly opening the handle, “I’m not staying. Fuck this. This is stupid,” you slurred. 

Without looking back, you slammed the truck door shut and walked as far away from Benny’s truck as you could, eyes staring straight ahead while putting one foot in front of the other and focusing on not tumbling to the ground. The now four beers inside your stomach had settled fine, but left you teetering on the edge of being downright drunk, and it was too early to be plastered just yet.

Your breath quickened as panic coursed through your veins, leaving you on the brink of hyperventilation with thoughts swirling through your mind angrily. Kaye’s voice ringing in your ears, the look of love on Benny’s face… Angus’ smile. You curved your path around a tree in hopes you would find a place to collapse and cry, but you ran right into someone’s chest.

“Fuck, sorry,” you groaned, reaching forward to grab onto the fabric of their clothing so you didn’t fall back. As your eyes flickered up, you were greeted with a small smile from Angus Tully.

Maybe things really did work out for a reason.

“Don’t apologize,” he smiled, eyes a bit reddened, and you could tell that he had been indulging in smoking with Slater, “Was hoping that I’d run into you sooner than later.”

His words made your stomach twist again and all you wanted was to find your friends, maybe find a quiet place to empty the contents of your stomach and end the night with cold water and more greasy food to put you to sleep. You had only been at the party for less than an hour, and you were content with going home.

Being wrapped up in drama wasn’t your cup of tea, but you let yourself dig deep into this one.

“You okay?” His voice vibrated through your spinning head as you stared up at him with heavy eyes. You could make out the sincere concern he had, it made your cheeks warm to think he was worried about you.

“I’m fine,” you replied, forcing a smile on your lips as you took a step back, “Just lost Shavonne and Kaye, so I’ve been wandering around looking for something to do.” 

Lies.

“Why don’t you come climb the moon tower, man?” Slater’s voice had startled you, “... Maybe not, you seem jumpy, man.”

“I’m not jumpy,” you cleared your throat, smiling shyly as you looked over to the long-haired stoner who shoved his hands into his pockets and made way for the tower beyond the trees. Pickford was following closely behind.

“Come on,” Angus stepped forward and nudged you playfully, “It’s not like you have anything better to do.”

You watched with curious eyes as he stepped past you and toward the tower, leaving you in your spot, feeling small and hopeless. It took a few seconds to calm yourself before you made the executive decision to force your brain to stop thinking and just start saying ‘yes’ to whatever came your way. 

All goddamn day you waited so patiently for a night of partying and here you were wishing you could just sit down and cry. Not tonight. This was your night.

“Why do they call it the moon tower?” You asked once you’d reached the large structure, watching closely as Slater and Pickford had started climbing up the ladder situated in the middle of the metal bars. Both of them had moved to the sides to clear the way of the ladder, hanging onto the various poles and looking out toward the sea of teens, then down at you as you followed Angus.

“Uh,” Angus breathed out, glancing down at you for a moment to watch you start climbing up the ladder before he continued going up, past the two stoners, “I guess they put it up here whenever they were building the power plant. It’s actually a good idea, you got a full moon out here every day of the year, you know?”

You crinkled your eyebrows together as you adjusted your hands each time you stepped up the ladder, feeling hot underneath the bright lights and trying your best not to think about how high you were with each passing second. Angus moved up the ladder and right past the two boys hanging around with ease like a pair of monkeys in a tree, grinning from ear to ear as their eyes watched your meticulous movements.

“Yeah, but nothing’s ever been repaired, so this whole place could fall down at any time,” Pickford spoke, eyes full of mischief, “So you better watch your step.”

Rolling your eyes, you moved closer to them—gasping when Pickford fell back, pretending of course and leaving your stomach churning. You muttered an insult at him as you inhaled a sharp breath, reaching the same height as them both as Angus continued his trek to the top.

“This place used to be off-limits, man,” Slater said to you, hugging onto the pole with heavy, red eyes watching your every movement, “‘cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smackin’ his head on every beam, man.”

Your face crinkled in disgust, pausing your movements when you came eye-to-eye with Slater, “Nice try, asshole, I’m not easily persuaded by urban legends.”

The long-hair teen chuckled as Pickford began scaling the moon tower from the outside, “I’m being serious, man, you think I’d lie to you?” He asked, fighting back more laughter, “The autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?”

“Four, and I’m doing just fine,” you rolled your eyes, smirking as you pulled yourself past him, closing in on Angus who had paused to wait for you. Your eyes connected in an intense stare and a blush coated your cheeks, the sound of Slater’s voice warning you muffled and inaudible.

“Shut up, Slater,” Angus grinned, shooting you a confident wink before continuing his trek. God, he really knew how to work you.

By the time you’d reached the top, you were finally feeling so tipsy that your fear of heights had completely vanished. You looked in awe at the horizon of lights that came from the small town—it was peaceful up here, away from everyone else. It felt like this came straight out of a movie scene.

“You show this tower to all your girls?” You asked Angus, sitting on the platform with him and letting your legs dangle off the edge while resting against the metal that fenced you in. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “so, get in line. I have a waitlist.”

“Jerk,” you giggled, shoving his side with your elbow as you two sat side-by-side. 

A joint had been passed around again, coming to you three times before you were pleasantly high and staring off into the void of the night sky. It was a new moon, so the moon tower was the only light—it was beautiful.

Slater had started up a conversation about how many people were fucking then and there, pointing at the lights from town. You just sat there and listened in to the banter between him and Pickford, finding the boys comforting after a moment of panic.

“You sure you’re okay?” Angus whispered to you, his big brown eyes settling on you and surrounding you with comfort, “you seem… off.”

“Off?” You questioned, acting oblivious, “I’m fine. Just… tipsy. Stomach hurts a little, I guess.”

He didn’t believe you because you hadn’t been able to look him in the eyes as you spoke, chewing on your bottom lip to force back any lingering emotion. It’s not like you were going to sit here and talk to him like Kaye, spilling your guts about your insecurities with the situation you had going with both him and Benny. That was a can of worms you wanted to keep shut.

The two of you sat in silence, your chin resting against the metal bar in front of you that kept you steady and from falling off the tower.

“You’re a bad liar,” Angus huffed, your eyes drifting back to him to see his jaw clenching. Was he upset?

“Not lying.”

“Then why is your face all red?” He questioned, and you grew defensive.

“Why are you being so nosy? It’s none of your business.” You spat back, anger filling your body. This was not where things needed to go.

“Is it about Benny?” He tilted his head with a raised eyebrow, eyes piercing into yours. You felt judged by him for the first time ever, “I don’t know what you get out of sleeping with him, like his own personal little… plaything.”

“Can you stop?” You snapped loudly, pulling your eyes away and feeling tears form. The four beers really were too much, three would’ve been just fine, “I don’t need your fucking judgment, Angus, that’s a new low.”

The double standards were there again.

“Not judging,” he mumbled, “just think you can do better, is all.”

“And what? What’s better for me? Tell me. Are you better? A boy who just insinuated I’m some… slut!” You shifted in your spot, sitting sideways so you could look at him with fire burning in your eyes. You hadn’t even noticed that Slater and Pickford were descending the moon tower and giving you both space.

Angus stared at you dumbfounded at your question as he dealt with the consequences of his poor wording, lips slightly parted, but he wouldn’t say it. You wished he would, confirming the feelings out loud that you two had been dancing around for weeks.

The silence was thick and nauseating. 

“That’s what I thought,” your voice cracked, “you’re a fucking asshole, Angus. I hope you know that and live with it for the rest of your miserable life.”

Without allowing him the space to say anything, you scrambled to your feet and got the hell out of there. You could hear him calling down for you as you carefully made way down the ladder, shoving past Slater and Pickford, who had been waiting at the bottom. Tears stung your eyes and dripped down your cheeks as you felt the world’s weight on your shoulders.

Kaye was right. This was a man’s world and there was nothing you could do to change that, the cards were never in your favour.

“Fuck,” you whimpered as you walked through the wooded area in hopes to find your friends, or maybe a bottle of water at the very least. A familiar feeling hit the back of your throat as your mouth pooled with spit—shit.

You made it to a bush just in time, bending over and letting nature run its course as you emptied your stomach with a few heavy gags. If it weren’t for that damned Top Notch trip before heading to the Emporium, you’d be fine.

The night was ruined. You eventually found water from a very generous sophomore who took pity on you, nearly guzzling the entire water back and swishing it around your mouth until you couldn’t taste the acid on your tongue anymore. With embarrassment filling you, you decided that it would best if you just took a break from everything going on.

The world hadn’t felt like it was spinning anymore, but you weren’t very coordinated with your movements. The second the music and laughter sounded distant enough, you fell back onto the grass and looked up at the night sky. The moon tower's distant light made it hard to see the stars.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been laying there, ten minutes or an hour? You just stayed there, fingers splayed in the grass and inhaling the scent of nature. Maybe you’d just close your eyes and sleep there, it’s not like there were any wild animals around… that you knew of.

“Jesus Christ,” a voice interrupted your isolation. Angus’s voice. He sounded worried.

You pouted, throwing both hands over your face, “what do you want?”

“I thought you left, or something happened to you,” his voice was full of disappointment, “you can’t just run off like that when you’re drunk.”

You listened as his footsteps closed the distance between you both, a quiet grunt coming from him as he sat in the grass next to you and laid back.

“I can do what I want,” you mumbled, keeping your eyes covered, as if it would somehow make him leave.

A heavy sigh left his lips, “I’m sorry.”

“Is that all?”

“Look, you can stay mad at me, I get it. I was a total fucking dick and took it too far,” he admitted casually, eyes looking up at the void above you both, “...I’m jealous of Benny.”

That was new. 

Slowly, you dropped your hands from your face, head turning to the right so you could look at Angus. His face was just visible, the moon tower’s light barely reaching beyond the trees that covered you both.

“Really?” Your voice was soft, just barely above a whisper.

Angus looked at you, too, his eyes so soft and sincere. It was impossible not to fall in love with him.

“Please don’t make me say it again,” his lips cracked into a smile that was contagious.

You bit the inside of your cheeks as your stomach swirled furiously with a complicated mess of feelings. Love, anger, sadness—arousal.

“It still sucked,” you reminded him, shifting onto your side with your arms bent and acting as a pillow. You weren’t sure you’d ever get that line out of your head, Angus referring to you as nothing but a toy for Benny. Sure, the alcohol and weed hadn’t helped his filter, but that was a deep wound and would need some time to heal.

“I’m really fucking sorry,” Angus whispered, meeting you halfway and rolling to face you, “Seriously. I fucked up.”

“Yeah you did,” you thinned your lips, “but I think I could learn to forgive you.”

That caused a smile to spread on the boy’s lips, “I’ll work really hard. Like, overtime hard.”

“You’re stupid,” you laughed, the air between you lighter and digestible.

“I’m going to break up with Elise.”

Seriously, what the fuck?

“I…” you stuttered, blinking a few times, “really?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his hand reaching forward and resting on your red cheek, “I like someone else.”

His touch made your heart flutter, having been waiting for this intimacy for weeks. Dreaming about it each night as you manifested—praying to god that it would work. You were so desperately in love with Angus Tully that it was laughable.

“Who?” You asked coyly, smiling small and sheepish.

“The prettiest girl at this party,” he smiled, “just so happens to be laying in the grass somewhere with a real troublesome boy. I heard he’s a dick.”

“Oh, yeah,” you smiled, “I know who you’re talking about. He is a real dick. The worst, actually.”

Both of you shared a small laugh, smiles reaching your eyes as the world finally felt calm, and you could simply bask in each other’s presence. It wasn’t enough, of course.

“Can I kiss you?” Angus whispered, almost like his voice would disrupt this moment.

“I just, like… threw up,” you crinkled your nose.

“I don’t care.”

Within a matter of seconds, you had been pulled until you were atop him, knees on either sides of his hips and straddling. Lips met in a furious, long-awaited kiss, and you saw stars.

Large hands gripped your hips and held you steady, a tongue flicking against your lips until you got the message and invited him in. It was sloppy, messy and wet, but neither of you cared if it wasn’t perfect. It was like years of pent-up stress and pining finally released, and neither of you would be coming out of this unscathed.

“Angus,” you whined into his mouth, hands pressed against his bare chest where the buttons of his top had undone. Nails scratched the surface of his skin, leaving red marks in their wake, as your body was heavy atop his.

He fed off your mewls of pleasure, lapping up your sounds with his tongue as you both moaned filthy, warm breath into each other’s mouths. You were both desperate for each other’s touch, hands wild as they travelled each other’s bodies.

Your hands lifted to his curls, his unbuttoning your jeans until he could sneak a hand inside.

Cries of pleasure fell from your lips as his fingers pushed into your underwear, leaving you a shaking, shuddering mess that could barely stay upright.

“Angus. I need you,” you whimpered into his ear, lips and hot breath brushing against the shell of his ear. You could feel the bulge in his pants, blocked only by your clothes and the fingers that he’d slipped inside you to coax out your beautiful sounds.

It was raw, passionate and heady. The two of you attacking each other with quick hands until your clothes were either pulled off completely or barely hanging onto your body.

Moans spilled from your lips as you rolled your hips together in slow, sensual movements—crying out into the void as you whimpered his name over and over until you were both met with a pleasant release.

Angus Tully would be the death of you.

[thedarlingdearestdead]

Meditation:

Summary: Anakin has trouble meditating, you help distract him.

Warnings: Smut - but it is kind of censored. R18.

Word count: 1,660

“Anakin, I can feel your disquiet.”

His eyes open easily from his placement on the floor. He was cross legged and had maintained his peaceful state for a time after your entrance, but something about his signature told you that he was not so deep in meditation. 

You could sense the turmoil within Anakin, like a storm raging beneath a calm surface. His emotions were a maelstrom, and you knew that if not controlled, they could lead him down a dangerous path. Obi Wan had seemed worried about him since Ahsoka left, you did not think he was wrong to do so. 

You looked at the pain in the eyes of your old friend. You saw his grief, his confusion, his restlessness. You knew Anakin too well to think that he had been meditating, maybe he was trying, but he long since given up on the practise. 

“Why are you here?” He asked, looking over at you sullenly.

“Because you’re being too loud.”

He glares at you and moves to get up. “Fine, I’ll give up.”

“Don’t be stupid Anakin, I’m not here to make fun of you. I want to help.”

He settles back down but doesn’t move back to his spread out cross legged arrangement, instead his knees remain up in a guarded, almost foetal position. 

“I don’t think anyone can help me.” His voice is low and dark, his eyes closed and mind stormy. You could almost feel the heavy weight of his burden through the force, though you knew his shields would be hiding much of the extent of it. 

You take a deep breath and try to center yourself, reaching out to Anakin through the Force. You feel the resistance in him, his shields firm and unyielding. But you persist, gently pushing against them. He does not waver however. 

“Anakin, get up.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re obviously not doing anything here.” 

He doesn’t move. 

“Don’t make me fight you, Anakin.”

He looks up at you with disdain, so you give his knee a light kick. 

“That hurt.”

Anakin's reaction was more of annoyance than actual pain, and he finally unfolded his legs and sat up, still visibly troubled. His emotions continued to churn beneath the surface, like a tempest held at bay. When he stands he raised his eyebrows at you, expectant and petulant, you roll your eyes. 

“Come on, I need your help with something.”

Knowing that he is in need of a distraction you hadn’t bothered to fix-up your lighter from your last mission. It had suffered some hit and made a concerning growling sound as you landed, but you figured it could wait. Anakin was always good with the mechanical world, and he did quite like to show off.

Anakin's expression shifted from sullenness to curiosity. "What do you need help with?" he asked, his voice tinged with a hint of interest.

You offered him a small smile, relieved that he was willing to divert his attention from his ‘meditation’, even if just for a little while. "I've got a problem with my ship. It's making some strange noises, and I thought you might be able to take a look at it. You know how much I trust your mechanical skills.”

He grunts. “Lead the way then.”

You lead Anakin through the winding hallways of the Jedi Temple, the two of you walking side-by-side in silence. As you make your way to the hangar, you can feel Anakin's restlessness ease slightly. You know that he is still troubled, and you worry about him, but you also know that sometimes the best way to help him is to distract him.

When you arrive at the hangar, Anakin heads straight for your ship, a battered old freighter that you've had for years. He runs his hand over the hull, inspecting it with a critical eye. "What kind of noises?" he asks.

You shrug. "I don't know, just strange ones. I thought maybe one of the engines was acting up."

Anakin nods and disappears beneath the ship, emerging a few moments later covered in grease. He wipes his hands on a rag and looks up at you. "Yeah, it looks like you've got a loose coupling on one side.”

“Oh do I?” You say a bit dumbly. 

“Hmmm, pass one of those-“ He gestures to the table at his side but you already had the tool in your hand. He takes it without another glance. 

You stand back and watch him work, admiring the way he moves with such fluidity and precision. He seemed to get lost in the task at hand, his focus entirely on the ship. For a moment, you forgot about all of the troubles that had been weighing on him. Watching him work was a reminder of the Anakin you knew before all the darkness, before the war.

As he finishes up, he stands and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. "Alright, that should do it. Start her up and see if it's running smoothly."

You nod and make your way to the cockpit, taking a seat and starting up the engines. You hear a smooth, steady hum and grin, turning to look back at Anakin who had followed you inside. "Looks like you fixed it," you say, grateful for his help.

Anakin nods, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Told you I had skills," he jokes.

You chuckle, feeling the tension in the air ease a little bit more. “Never doubted you for a second.”

Anakin’s expression grows serious again, and you can see the turmoil churning behind his eyes.

“Is everything okay, Anakin?”

He hesitates, looking down at his feet. “I… I don’t know. Everything’s changing, and I don’t know where I fit in. I’m trying to listen to the order, to the force, but both voices are so loud. I can’t hear either of them properly.”

“Hence the meditation?”

“Hence the attempt at meditation.”

The Jedi Order was in a state of upheaval, and Anakin was caught in the middle of it all. The war had taken a toll on him, and the loss of Ahsoka had only made things worse.

"I wish I knew a better way to help you."

He shrugs, "You do help me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He smiles ever so sadly into your eyes, and like magnets your lips find each other. 

The kiss was soft at first, hesitant almost, but it quickly deepened as the two of you moved closer to each other. Anakin's hands found their way to your waist, pulling you tighter against him, and you could feel the heat of his body against yours. It was a comfort to know that you could provide him with some solace amidst the turmoil that surrounded him.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathing heavily. Anakin's eyes were dark with desire, but also with something else, something deeper that you couldn't quite place.

“Do you still want to distract me?”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“You know how to fix a ship, Y/N.”

“Then yes, let me try distract you.”

Anakin grins and pulls you in for another kiss, his hands running up and down your back. You melt into his touch, relishing the feeling of his strong arms around you. For a moment, everything else fades away, and it's just the two of you in your own little world.

But clearly you underestimated his need. He presses you against your ship, growing hungrier by the second. You can feel the heat between your bodies rising with each passing moment. Anakin's kisses become more urgent, and his hands are now exploring every inch of your body. Your own desire is quickly building, and you find yourself responding to his advances eagerly.

You break away from the kiss, gasping for air. "Ani, we can't do this here," you say, trying to catch your breath.

He looks at you with a mix of frustration and longing, his eyes dark with desire. “I need to.” he whispers, his voice husky.

"Someone might walk in," you reply, trying to keep your voice steady.

Anakin looks around the hangar, checking to make sure that you're alone. "No one's here," he says, moving in to kiss you again. You can feel yourself weakening at his touch, your resolve crumbling under his persistent advances. His mouth moved lower down your neck. You bite your lip, trying to hold back a moan. His hands move down to your hips, and you can feel how much he wants you.

You press yourself against him, revelling in the strength of his embrace.

His tongue finds its way into your mouth once again, tracing a path along your teeth and lips. Every nerve ending in your body is standing at attention, begging for release.

His hands pull you against him even harder. His erection digs into your thigh, making you gasp with pleasure. A whimper escapes your lips, and Anakin growls, pushing himself further into you. You dig your fingers into his broad shoulders, loving the feel of his muscles under your fingertips. You let out a low moan, your head lolling to the side as his tongue sweeps across your sensitive skin.

It feels too good. It feels right. It feels so overwhelming. 

You would let him do anything he wanted to you. You give him full reign as he unzips your pants, slips his hand under your tunic. 

Your thoughts turn hazy, and you give into your lust. There's nothing holding you back anymore; your emotions run rampant through your body. Everything becomes one big blur of sensation, leaving you unable to think.

When you are both finished, and he is standing over you, face flushed and sweaty, hair curling deliciously around his eyes. You can finally feel him relax. The tension, the shields which had been so reinforced had fallen. He is yours. 

[melonba11s]

A Public Apology

I would like to start this by saying that I am sorry. I am sorry for my words in the past that have hurt others. 

I will not be naming any names for the sake of privacy, and so that these people can hopefully have some peace. I do not want anyone to be hurt.

In mid-January of 2023, in the now closed Patreon Server for YKMET, A person posted a black and white doodle of a character. I was not looking closely and referred to what I saw in part the drawing as a “blob monster”. I was corrected, told that it was a drawing of the person's natural hair texture from behind. I did not read the tone of the conversation correctly, and thought everything was taken in stride as a mistake that could be joked about. 

The next day, the same person who posted the drawing was talking about Marten, a character from a Webcomic called Facility. This character is known for having black shadow-like hallucinations. 

I made a joke, stating that Marten may mistake the person's hair for one of his hallucinations.

Immediately the person asked me to stop. I deleted the comment. I then instantly DM’d them an apology. 

My apology was not a good one. I apologized for “being cringe on main”. My words made it clear that I did not understand how hurtful and racially charged my comment was. No more words were exchanged between me and the person afterwards. I knew I had hurt them, and told myself I would watch what I said from here on out, but failed to say this to the person I’d hurt or to anyone else.

It was only when it was brought back up a year later, in January 2024, did I realize just how hurtful my words must have been. I realized the horribly racist connotations of what I said. 

I made another apology, this one public, but failed to say what I did. I can’t hide what I did. To censor myself and hide what I did is the same thing as acting as though it never happened. 

But it did.

What I said about this person’s hair was unacceptable and racist. It came from a place of ignorance. 

There were also statements about me making offensive remarks on Jamaican culture or making fun of someone for being Jamaican. 

I do need to state that I do not remember anything about my remarks on Jamaican culture. 

What I remember when it came to topics of Jamaica was talking about Jamaican food and how I wanted to try some, as I had never had it before. 

However, I can understand that I could just be forgetting what I said that was hurtful and bigoted because it did not affect me. So I apologize again, and I will continue to educate myself on other cultures, and learn to think before I speak, and when I do speak, ask questions and not just make statements.

I do not want to remain an ignorant person. I want to learn. I want to grow. And most of all, I want to show that I am sorry for what I said. 

If the person I hurt happens to read this, I am sorry. I regret what I said. If I could take back the hurt I caused you, I would. 

I won’t ask for your forgiveness. 

All I hope for you is that you are surrounded by people who treat you with more kindness, understanding and respect than I did. 

Again, I am sorry. I cannot excuse my words. I can only apologize for them, and learn from my mistakes so that I can be a better friend in the future.

[herofics]

Hii

Could you please do a second part of the scenario in which Aizawa's daughter was r4ped and bakugou told him?

Maybe the moment she told Aizawa, and basicly confort. Thanks

A/N: So this is basically expanding on the end of this post. More comfort than straight-up angst this time. Also this isn’t TikTok, so it’s honestly more harmful to censor stuff like “rape” with “r4pe” because then people have a harder time avoiding it and blacklisting it. So just use the actual words, because it’s a pain in the ass for people to try to blacklist all the possible versions

You were sitting on the edge of your bed, twiddling your thumbs, while your father sat at the other end of the bed. You could basically feel him vibrating with anger, even though he wasn’t even that close to you. You just hoped his anger wasn’t directed towards you.

“Is it true what Bakugou said?” he finally asked.

“Yes” you said quietly. “I’m so sorry…”

“Why are you apologizing to me? Whatever happened, whatever he did, it wasn’t your fault”

“But I should’ve listened to my gut. That’s what you always tell me. I had the feeling he was a creep, but I went to meet him anyway” you sniffled.

“If someone acts like a piece of shit and hurts you, it’s not your fault, ever. He’s a predator, and I’m going to make sure he gets what he deserves” Aizawa promised with a serious tone.

He never thought something like this would happen to you. He knew you might get hurt on an internship or something, and end up in the hospital, but he never thought that someone would hurt you like this, especially right under his nose. Aizawa wasn’t sure what he should do, this was a completely new situation to him. You were sitting on the other end of the bed, leaning against the wall. You looked like you were trembling a little. He was so incredibly angry, not at you of course, but towards that piece of shit who had dared to assault you. He tried not to show how furious he was, while at the same time still showing his disapproval towards what had been done to you.

“How do you want to proceed with this? I’m going to make sure that scumbag gets fired, but it’s up to you if you want to go to the police”

Your dad was always quite practical with things, so you weren’t really surprised about how he handled the situation. You didn’t really know what you wanted.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I kinda wanna kick him in the dick and throw rotten eggs at him, but I also never want to see that piece of shit again” you sighed.

“I’ll kick him in the dick for you, but I don’t think I can do anything about the eggs” Aizawa tried to lighten the mood awkwardly.

“Thanks dad, but I don’t want you to get in trouble, he’s not worth it” you smiled tiredly.

"But you are, and I’m sure the principal wouldn’t fire me even if I did kick his ass. I was only defending a student and my kid for that matter"

“That’s probably true to be fair” you chuckled slightly.

“Come here kid” Aizawa stood up and motioned towards himself.

You got up from the bed and walked to your dad, who pulled you into a hug.

“It’s going to be okay. It might not feel like it now, but I promise one day this whole thing will be just a memory” he assured, rubbing your upper back.

“I was kind of scared you would be mad at me, but now I feel kinda bad for thinking that”

“Don’t worry about it. Can you just promise me something?” he asked.

“Depends on what it is?”

“Please make an appointment to the school psychiatrist. You need to talk to a professional about this”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes”

“Fine, but I’ll do it tomorrow. Now I wanna go take a shower and go to sleep”

“That’s fine with me. You can talk to me too, but I do still want you to talk to someone who actually has experience with dealing with something like this” he said, and pressed a kiss on your forehead. “I’m going to go inform the principal”

“Dad?”

“Yeah?” he turned back.

“I love you” you sniffled.

“I love you too kiddo” Aizawa said and ruffled your hair, before leaving your room.

You went to take a shower again. Maybe someday you wouldn’t feel so stained anymore. You would heal… eventually.

[midnighttheroies]

Helluva Boss “He Can Get Hurt” Explained and In Defense Of The Newest Episode

so i was browsing on twitter after the new release of the newest episode, and alot of people where confused about blitz’s reaction to stolas being in the hospital, alot of people kept pointing out how stupid the line was, how it and how episode 4 sucks, ect, i even saw one comment about how helluva boss lost it’s charm?!!, and i’m here to show you exactly why none of that is true at all

1: “He Can Get Hurt” explanation

alot of people where confused by this line because in season 1 ep 5, blitz saved stolas by stopping striker when he was about to kill him, and in seas 1 ep 2, when he was stolas and octavia bodyguard, so the idea of stolas getting hurt shouldn’t be surprised and it was a stupid line

here’s why that’s wrong

blitz isn’t dumb, he is aware at the fact that yes demon royalty are targets for assassination and killings and such, but it’s not something that happens to often, also stolas is someone who always puts up a persona and front, he refused to break in-front of striker, and barely flinched when he was being stabbed with a holy weapons, blitz always viewed stolas an indestructible force, he’s seen was he’s capable of, and how powerful he is, stolas is an all powerful being, and because of how he always dismisses blitz’s rude taunts and remarks, blitz built an image in his head that stolas is someone who is incapable of truly getting hurt

until he did

when millie told him about how stolas got hurt badly, you can see the shock and almost denial on his face, and the “He Can Get Hurt” really sticks to you, because in that moment, when blitz found out stolas got hurt, it humanized stolas for him, it made him realize that stolas can be vulnerable, that he can get hurt, he’s not indestructible and he can die, and the possibility was higher then he thought, he could lose stolas, and that terrifies him, also the shock of something happening to someone you know, like the possibility of them getting hurt in such a way is always shocking, no matter what

2: “The R-word scene” 

if you guys remember when blitz was speaking with the drugged out goat lady, blitzo was stretching out the word and said “can’t say that anymore” some people had some issues with this, i however thought it was pretty funny, some people though were upset because the show is supposed to be offensive and they didn’t say the word so their for the show is doubling down on itself, first off the show is offensive, just because they censor or don’t say the word fully doesn’t mean it’s doubling down on itself!!, second, it was supposed to be a funny moment, to me it was supposed to be “breaking the fourth wall” kinda moment, like blitzo knows if he says that word he’s gonna get alot of hate, kinda like how brandon in real life doesn’t say the word in his most recent videos anymore like he used to, i also think it’s a little bit of a reference to that, and i think people took it way to much outta context, i think people are taking it way more seriously then it needs to honestly

3: “The show lost it’s charm, it’s like it doesn’t know the plot anymore ect”

first off, the show JUST started season 2, second, helluva boss is a slow pace, slow burn show, their isn’t supposed to be anything big major character/story development just yet, if you ask me, the show is only getting better and better, like ep 3 is by far their best episode, that episode alone changed my whole view on moxxie in the best way possible and puts season 1 ep 1 in a whole new different light

also another thing, helluva boss is a show where it goes into more depth and you have to look at things more then what your shown, the show is showing subtle hints here and their and you have to make it out, and i love that, it makes everything so much more interesting

also you can’t just judge a show when it just basically started and doesn’t even have an ending yet

2: “Blitz Defense”

alot, and i mean ALOT of people where quick to point out how much of an asshole blitz was to stolas within those text messages and just him in general, but people forget that blitz is like this as a way to protect himself, we’ve seen stolas at his most vulnerable moments, we know stolas loves blitz, but blitz himself doesn’t know that, to him, he’s stolas plaything, a sex toy, nothing more, he’s scared of loving people, he’s scared of intimacy because he’s afraid of getting hurt, so he pushes people away before they can hurt him, which is what he’s doing with stolas, because he doesn’t think stolas truly cares about him, and even though he tries to pretend he doesn’t, blitz does feel something for stolas, he cares about him, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have been worried about him over the phone and he sure as hell wouldn’t have sent a text message, i don’t know if i would say blitz loves stolas just yet, but i do think he at least likes him, i personally see this as a “stolas fell first but blitz fell harder” kinda thing

[cinamun]

Finally Mercy!! It’s like I knew she was going to do it once the bomb dropped about Jackson and she was still there with him but seeing actually happen is wild and I had to go back like 10x. All I really have to say is hurt people hurt people and Bishop should’ve took the warning after the tv threat cuz maybe she wasn’t joking. Should’ve definitely left after the first assassination attempt. He thought he could still get in her head even after finding out her secret and well…she got in his chest. It’s crazy to think all that time she was allowing herself to go through all that as a punishment when she had it in her all along but it took Jayce finding out about Eva to make her remember why she did it. I can’t wait to see how Mercy continues to develop after this. And there’s still so many other situations to check in on still! Way to wrap up a story arch we’ve all be waiting for while still keeping us on the edge of our seats for a new one to begin! Your writing and directing is phenomenal. I’ve been here since Indya was pregnant with Hope and I always say this needs to be a show or a physical visual novel!

Side note: do you ever get nervous or anxious about publish big scenes that you’re unsure how it’ll be recieved? Or excited to publish scenes like this where you know it’ll blow the rrr doors open? This had to be hard to sit on for two weeks!

"He thought he could still get in her head even after finding out her secret and well…she got in his chest."

Say it again for the villians in the back!!!

Listen, she gave him 3 whole opportunities to do what he said he was going to do, which was take her home:

Maybe he was feeling himself a lil bit after putting the math together. Who knows, but what I do know, is that's exactly where he fucked up. He left her without a choice. At least, he left her FEELING like she didn't have a choice.

Anyway, THANK YOU for the kind words friend. Yes I was super nervous about this and didn't finish the dialogue until this morning tbh lol I also get excited because I absolutely LOVE the suspense and psychological shit that fucks with our perception of reality. Writing this arc has been super fun and we're STILL not done. I would say what makes me nervous is the subject matter. Anytime we get into heavy subjects I worry about triggering folks or losing folks. I try to be mindful of that but I also just write what comes to mind and hate to censor myself even when I think of wild shit.

[skzstoryvault]

Erase and Rewind (angst, fluff, smut - Hyunjin - Part 2)

F!Reader

ex!Chan

good friend Hyunjin

multi chapter story

this chapter: angst and a bit of lightness

Chan broke up with reader

Reader is not taking it well

Hyunjin is being a supportive friend

Featuring insecurities, internalised misogyny and self-hate

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real persons depicted here. They all deserve the world.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

*** Part 1

The morning finds you snoring in your bed, naked after you tore your sandals, dress and underwear off before blacking out into the sheets.  Your phone buzzes with a voice message and you tell Google to play it for you.

“Goooooooood morning in the morning! How’s my favourite girl?” It’s Hyunjin, and he’s upsettingly bubbly. “Fuck you for being so chipper! Let me guess, orgy with the entire Versace runway cast.” You mutter, flipping the phone off too. “Why so sour, baby? And no, I went home right after you last night. Slept like the dead since!” Hyunjin says, still giggling and letting you know that you told Google you want to take the call, not hear a message. “I’m… I’m really sorry, Jinnie. I didn’t want to be rude to you or hurt you. I just haven’t had the best time lately. Please forgive me.” You say, realising he heard your unneccesary asshole reply. “No harm done. I’m flattered you think I can fuck thirty plus people in only a few hours. I am exceptional, but I don’t have sewing machine DNA. I’m also a bit worried, the more I think about it. I know you’re sad. Actually, sad doesn’t cover it. I know you took your breakup really badly and I wanted to ask… how are you doing?” “That’s very nice of you, Hyune. And yeah, I won’t be any fun for a while. I just… I never thought it would happen to me, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten with him. I’m so ashamed… but wait. I’m not supposed to tell you this. You’re in the enemy camp.” “Am not! I am your friend first, an asshole second.” Hyunjin says. “What’s this really about?” “I appreciate you asking, but I don’t want to pull you in my melancholy barrel. You might drown.” “Bullshit, baby. I can take a few dark thoughts. Only stupid people who can’t maintain a thought and an erection at the same time are perpetually happy.” You laugh at his words, despite your bad mood. “No, really, can I come over? I can listen and I can make you something yummy.” He suggests. “My home is a pigsty. I would be mortified if you saw it the way it is now. I need to tidy up and then I will gladly have you over.” “Then you come to my place.” Hyunjin doesn’t give up. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a drag and make you hate me, or worse, friend-divorce me.” He texts you a pic and gives you a verbal caption. “That’s you and me.” You open the pic and it’s the poster for the new Alien movie, “Romulus”, showing a close-up of a facehugger wrapped around a person. “Extremely violent, but I get the intent.” You say, sighing. “Okay, you got me. Let me wash my carcass and I’ll be right over.” “Yay!” He says  in a high-pitched, excited-sounding voice, and disconnects just as suddenly. You catch yourself smiling - Hyunjin is a tornado personified. He’s so intense in everything he does, from dancing to lying motionless on the living room sofa, and if he weren’t so unsettlingly beautiful, out of your league and completely not on the menu for you, he would be the perfect little guy. Everyone in the band is beyond gorgeous and looks are an afterthought when one considers their many talents and perfectly honed skills. But what endears you to them, and to Hyunjin especially, is their goofiness and their willingness to be awkward without censoring those instances away from the public scrutiny. Either way, Hyunjin’s weirdo facet is more dangerous to you because you are irreparably in love with it even while knowing you won’t have it. Hyunjin doesn’t swing that way, sadly. 

Chan even mentioned it in passing at the beginning of your relationship and you know he hadn’t meant it in a mean way and it was just fleeting relief. He said something along the lines of if Hyunjin was fishing in the same pond as them, no one would ever get so much as noticed by a girl.

Feeling clean and somewhat presentable, you show up at Hyunjin’s. His room at the dorm is actually a suite, just like the others’, and it’s tidy, boujee and comfy. He has a nice cosy living room with a painting corner, an all black bedroom and a bath just for himself, with a shower and a tub with massage nozzles. Everything is so clean and new and nice-smelling, absolutely not like a boy lives here. You guiltily think of your own apartment and the state of it, which reflects your emotional state, and sigh. You need to do better, as soon as you’re… doing better. Right now, you feel like a bum in your track pants and hoodie, standing on the thick carpet in your Halloween socks with bats and pumpkins.

“I’m so glad you came!” Hyunjin says, coming to hug you by wrapping himself around you completely. “I ordered us a mountain of fried chicken and two tubs of ice cream, one pistachio for you, one strawberry for me. We should be fine for a while. And I can have groceries delivered and make you whatever you feel like eating… as long it’s not too chef-y.” “Thank you, Jinnie, but the goodies you already got will be more than enough.You spoil me, and I’ve done nothing to deserve it!” “That’s not true! You’re my friend and I love you, which of course means I want to feed you and cuddle you and call you George!” You laugh at the reference, it’s so heartwarming, especially since Hyunjin already makes such an effort for you, peppering more English in your conversations, not being a patronising dick about your need to process longer when you don’t get a Korean phrase right away and, most importantly, setting his shyness aside and letting you into his circle of people he likes. 

“Let’s watch Hannibal and eat.” He says, unfazed. “We can talk if you want. Or not.” “Jinnie?” You say, following him to the sofa. “You know I love you too?” 

It doesn’t feel fake or forced to say it, because the love you do allow yourself to have for him is genuine and of a pure, PG-13 nature. 

“If you really love me, then start being nicer to yourself. I feel like you blame yourself completely. Channie-hyung is no church door. He can be a dick when he so chooses.”  “He wasn’t though. I don’t know what he told you, but he is a saint. I don’t begrudge him his decision. But I can’t help but hurt from it.” “What exactly was so fucking non-negotiable that he had to dump you? If I remember correctly, he made a whole production out of asking you out and he was a pest before that, whining that he would die if you didn’t want to date him!” You sigh deeply. It’s still hard to talk about it, but Hyunjin of all people might be more sympathetic to your angle. “Chan left because, while we generally agreed on the idea of not having kids, when I got sterilised he felt that it was way too… permanent and left him no room for revisiting the decision.” 

“Wait, you had a large invasive surgery and he got butthurt because he couldn’t get you pregnant?? Instead of helping you recover?” Hyunjin looks at you with lightning in his eyes. You’ve never seen him be this angry and it scares you a bit. Your shy, gentle and goofy Jinnie can be a big, big bitch, he just chooses not to be one.

“It wasn’t that invasive. I took a week off, the surgery was… um… minimally invasive and I spent one night in hospital. Then I came home and popped painkillers for the days after. They didn’t take everything out, just my tubes.” “Why didn’t you say??? We would have all been all over you, spoiling you!” “You were in Japan.”

“Oh. But after??? We could have come over and taken care of you. Why didn’t you say anything?” “You’re idols, Jinnie. And it wasn’t that big a deal to me, the recovery. It was a big deal to get it done, but because I’m foreign, being approved was easy. I also don’t like thinking about it, I feel kind of… entitled about my own organs not trying to kill or disable me? I just… I guess I was very naive, I thought Chan felt just as strongly about not having bio kids as me when we spoke.” 

“Yeah as a guy I can tell you, we don’t have much of a dog in the fight. We want kids because they sound like a great idea when you don’t have to risk your life, be left with lasting consequences or do most of the work. I would think of having kids as me doing it alone, because I only decide for me, and the older I get, the more I realise I enjoy having peace, getting to do what I want with my time and money, and the anxiety of having a bit of yourself and someone you love out in this evil world? I could not deal with that. My mom told me that she had an exemplary recovery from giving birth to me, but she still has some lifelong changes to her body that I would not ask someone I love to accept for my sake.” 

“Yeah well, being female is really not the hottest deal.” You say, sighing. “This is what’s bothering me the most about the break up, because reasonably, I understand that it’s only fair for people to part ways when their life plans don’t align.” “I would be out there having all of the sex if I knew that I can’t get pregnant. Although… ugh. Men can be dicks and give you other unpleasant stuff. I would require all my fuck buddies to submit a recent STD panel result.” “I don’t want to fuck many people, I get uncomfortable just thinking of that. I was hoping I could choose well and stop at one. Especially since I know how guys talk about women, it’s even in rap songs, wrist icicle ride dick bicycle and all that.” Hyunjin laughs, full-body and with his head thrown back. “Do not take life advice or sex advice from Nicki Minaj, she is married to a convict.” He then wills himself to be serious again. “I don’t know if I still think as highly about Channie-hyung as before, after what you told me. He’s still my leader and my big brother, but… for all his professions of love for you, he acted like he doesn’t even like you.”

“It’s okay, Jinnie, it’s not that deep, he is allowed to be selfish about his wishes, just like I am. I wanted to remove the possibility of getting pregnant by accident, he wants the possibility to get his partner pregnant.” 

“But then he lied when he said he didn’t want kids when he got with you! Dick move.”

“As you said earlier, he can approach this in a more detached way and I suppose he assumed I was also not as serious about it, forgetting we do not have the same freedoms when it comes to it.” “See? Dick.” Hyunjin says, holding a huge piece of glazed fried chicken to your mouth with his chopsticks. “For you. Open wide.” 

You laugh at how stern he is and obey, liking that he’s taking care of you. “And why do you think of yourself as single-use?” He says suddenly. “You’re a whole human, not an object.” “I can’t help it, Jinnie. I feel… used. Rationally, I know it’s absurd. But I still feel it.” “Maybe you’ve been listening to the wrong voices whispering in your ear for too long. Because if you really were used, it would mean a dick can change an entire human’s soul and being down to the atoms… and no dick is that superpowered. Much less Channie-hyung’s.” 

“It’s easy for you to say.” You counter, pouting. “You’re right, of course. But I’ll need a while to get to that point where I can like myself after absolutely failing at my life plans.” “When did you make those plans? And did you make them or did your mom tell you what to dream of? I wasn’t planning of being an idol, imagine how dumb I would have looked if I had told the scout, ‘I plan to try and be an interior designer and make people’s houses into homes! A career where few succeed and only if their daddy is rich or if they are connected. Being an idol is a huge change so I reject it!’ I think I did okay to change course. And you could too. Change course I mean.” “I’ll have to, I guess. I can’t kill myself or never leave the house just because I am too ashamed to show my face in the world after being dumped.” You offer, still unconvinced, deep down. “You came here, where Channie-hyung lives, so that’s already a big step.” Hyunjin commends you. “I figured I could gotcha him if he answered the door, like if he started with ‘oh stop following me, we are never getting back together’, I would have told him ‘I’m not here for you’.” You admit. “I’m not above pettiness, in fact I find it satisfying and I engage in it when I safely can.” Hyunjin holds his fist up, knuckles facing you, silently demanding a fist bump. “Petty bitches unite.” He explains. Part 3

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Take it Back - Beau x Daughter!Reader Oneshot

Summary: When an unusual case lands on Beau’s desk, it leads to suspects and outcomes he couldn’t predict. 

Rating: 18+ // Pairing: Beau Arlen x daughter!Reader

Tags: nude photos, leaked nudes, anger, frustration, bratty!reader, major daddy issues, objectification, absent father, Beau being a terrible father, spanking, p in v, father/daughter incest, orgasms, hair pulling, cum in mouth, shame, guilt

WC: ± 4K

A/Ns: I wrote this before seeing any of season 3. I don’t know what it is, but once I finished writing this I actually felt really gross. I cannot believe my first Beau fic is father/daughter. What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway, enjoy if you’re just as fucked up as I am!!! A/Ns 2: I’m thinking of returning to posting to tumblr with a dark, gritty and smutty Soldier Boy series, so this oneshot is a bit of a trial to see if my audience is still out there 😅 So do let me know if you're reading and would like me to return! ❤️

Beau Arlen Masterlist // Jensen Ackles Master-Masterlist

“Mornin’, Sir.” 

“It’s Beau,” he replies without looking up from his cell. 

“Well, Beau, you’ve got a case.” 

He finally looks up at his company, smiling softly at her as she places the brown paper folder down on his desk. 

“Great, ‘bout time something happened around here, been getting bored,” he grins. “What is it? Kidnapping? Homicide? Drugs?” 

“Leaked amateur pornography,” she replies flatly, clasping her hands together in front of her. 

“What? Why have I got that? You know I’m the sheriff right?” 

“Victim kicked up enough of a fuss, asked for you to deal with it personally. You pass it on to whoever you want, I don’t give a shit.” 

“Alright,” Beau sighs, reaching for the folder. “Thanks, darlin’.” 

He waits until she’s left to look down at the file, reaching for his coffee to take a large slug. He licks his lips as he considers who would want him to deal with this personally, when it’s not really his kind of thing in the first place, but he guesses all he has to do is open the report to find out. He looks up to check his door is closed given the nature of the case, and clears his throat, opening the file to the first page. 

Y/N Y/L/N

“Fuck,” Beau mutters to himself, his forehead pulling into a frown. 

He instantly reaches for his bottom drawer, grabbing the whiskey bottle inside and unscrewing the cap, pouring a healthy measure into his coffee mug, following it with a quick slug straight from the bottle for good measure. Right now, all it is is words, but he knows beyond the first page will be the photographs that have leaked, screenshots from websites where they’re currently on public display. He purses his lips slightly as his eyes reread the name. He knew she’d changed her name to her mother’s maiden name, but seeing it there still hurts a little. But the main question still on Beau’s mind is the same one that had been there before he learned the victims name; why him? Why specifically ask for him? If anything, the motive is even more unclear now. 

Beau stares at the front page for a long moment, worrying his bottom lip as he weighs up his options. He’s a sheriff – an officer of the law – he should treat this case like any other, he should look at it factually and do his job. Though technically, maybe he should take a step back, hand this over to someone else who doesn’t have any kind of personal interest. But now Beau knows about this, he won’t be able to let it lie until whoever leaked those photos and plastered Y/N all over the internet for just anyone to find and jerk off to is caught and held accountable. 

He turns over the first page before he can change his mind. The copy of the photo has been censored, blurred out squares covering her most private parts, which Beau decides is definitely a good thing, he doesn’t need to see those parts of her. She’s standing in front of a full length mirror, one hip pushed out to the side, her legs slightly wider than a natural stance, her upper half twisted and curved to show off her chest. She’s done up for the photos, a lot of make up and her hair styled. Beau moves onto the next one. This one is a little less innocently posed than the first. She’s sitting on the floor this time, her legs spread and bent at the knee, her face a little clearer. She’s grown up a little more since Beau last saw her not long after she turned eighteen just over a couple of years ago. 

Much like the last, this photo is censored too, but it’s enough that Beau gets the gist of the photo, and moves on to the final one. This one has been taken with the front camera of her cell phone. Her back is to the mirror and she’s on her hands and knees, Her face in full view, but the view from the mirror is definitely where his focus goes. Once again, it’s been censored, but Beau still knows exactly what her intentions were when she took this photo. 

He huffs a breath as he skips ahead, now finding the screenshots of the various internet sites that the photos have appeared on, including one called “Revenge Porn”. Beau can’t exactly be mad with Y/N for taking the photos, she is a full grown adult who can do what she wants now, but he thought he’d done a good job reminding her of being safe on the internet, and this is certainly not safe. 

He closes the file and takes a much needed mouthful of his coffee, wishing it was just straight whiskey and it wasn’t nine A.M. This is not how he thought his day would go. But after only a few more moments of quiet contemplation, with several mouthfuls of coffee to accompany them, Beau finds himself reopening the file, flicking through the photos again. There are no answers there, of course, and they’re definitely not going to help him to close this case in any way, but he stares at them anyway and thinks about how long it’s been since he last saw her, how much she’s changed.

Beau finds himself reaching for the whiskey bottle once again, taking another swig straight from it, and licks his lips, sighing heavily as he once again closes the file and grabs it, getting up from his desk to take it to someone else. He shouldn’t be the one working on this case, even if she wants him to be. 

“Alright, listen up,” he announces, heading over to the whiteboard at the edge of the office. “We’ve got some kind of revenge porn. Should be an open and closed case, trace the IP address from the poster, lock ‘em up, job done. Who wants it?” he asks, holding up the file. 

The file is snatched out of his hands by Mannings, who is quick to open it straight onto the photos. 

“Damn,” he chuckles, “I’d be pretty pissed off if a girl like that broke up with me too.” 

“Victim claims she doesn’t have an ex-boyfriend,” Beau explains, digging his hands into his pockets so he can’t clench them into fists. 

He watches the file get passed onto Roberts next, who also ogles at the photos with a smirk on his face. He wolf whistles, which prompts it to get snatched yet again by another guy. 

“Damn,” he chuckles, and Beau just gets increasingly frustrated as he watches every member of the team enjoying the evidence, not a single one of them seeming to remember exactly where they are or what they should be doing. 

“Jesus, what I wouldn’t do to her. I’ll take the case, boss, I can go talk to her right now,” Collins calls out, his partner elbowing him in the ribs as they laugh amongst themselves. 

“That’s someone’s daughter, show some respect,” Beau glares at him. 

“Might be someone else’s daughter, but I can have her calling me daddy,” Collins counters, and the room erupts in laughter. “Clearly she’s got daddy issues.” 

“Alright,” Beau grunts, heading straight over to Collins and snatching the file out of his hands. “Seeing as none of you can think without your dicks, I’ll take it myself.” 

He grips the file in his hand for dear life as he storms back to his office, slamming the door closed behind him. He probably wouldn’t rest if someone else was on the case, anyway. It’s not like he didn’t try to get someone else for the case, but he’s the best man for the job. 

He heads back over to his desk and sits down, rubbing his fingers over his mouth as he stares at the front page once again, seeing the long paragraphs of her statement but not taking in any of the words. A knock at his door prompts him to look away, and when he looks up he sees Jenny leaning in the doorway. 

“Need help with that?” she asks, pointing to the file. “Could be good to have a woman’s touch.” 

“Nah, I’m golden thanks, sweetheart,” Beau forces a smile. “It’s easy enough, should have it wrapped up by the end of the day.” 

“Alright,” Jenny agrees, walking away and closing the door behind her. 

Alone again, Beau sighs, spurring his computer to life as he figures he should probably stop dragging this out and close the case as soon as possible. 

“Are you sure this is the right address?” Beau checks, looking down at the paper he’s just been handed by the cyber security team. 

“Yes sir, nearly every upload came from that same address. Some of the others have come from Canada, India, other countries, but usually in these cases, people save and reupload once they’ve found them.”

“Okay, thanks,” Beau sighs, prompting the guy to leave. 

He waits until he’s alone to wake his computer back up, clicking on one of the open tabs. It brings up one of the websites the photos first appeared on, and Beau tells himself that it’s just research, that it’s justified because any good officer of the law would look at all the evidence, but Beau’s got all the answers right there in front of him on that slip of paper that has the address on it, and he knows it. 

He takes one last look at the uncensored photos, chewing on his bottom lip as he tries to take his eyes off of the screen, but it’s like he can’t stop looking. 

His phone buzzes on his desktop, forcing his eyes away, and he takes the opportunity to close down the tab completely so he doesn’t have to get caught up in it again. He takes one last look at the slip of paper with the address on and grabs his car keys, ready to close this case once and for all. 

Beau takes a deep breath as he knocks on the door and looks up and down the street as he waits. Not much has really changed, not that he’d expect it to, everyone on this street has always been such a creature of habit. He stares at the American flag waving on the porch for a moment and then hears the front door opening. 

“Dad,” Y/N answers, her eyes a little wide. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know, Y/N,” he tells her with a sigh. 

“And here I was thinking you’d just come to see your little girl, considering it’s been… what? Three years?” 

“It’s not been that long,” Beau insists. “Is your mom home?”  

“No, she never is,” Y/N tells him, stepping to one side. 

Beau takes a moment to look at her. He’s not as shocked at the difference in her after staring at the photos of her all morning, but the change is a little more obvious in person. Eventually, he steps inside what used to be his house, and Y/N closes the door behind him. 

“So I’m assuming this is about what’s happened?” she asks. “Did you catch them?” 

Beau stares her down, but she’s as stubborn as ever apparently, because she just stares back with complete resolute. 

“So your statement says that you didn’t send these photos to anyone, they just happened to end up online somehow,” Beau reminds her. 

“Yeah, guessing someone hacked my phone or something,” she shrugs. 

“Why did you take the photos in the first place if you weren’t going to send them to anyone?” he asks. 

Y/N just shrugs again, crossing her arms over her chest. “For a confidence boost? To feel hot? I know you don’t like thinking about it, Dad, but I have a sex drive, y’know. I’m not a little girl anymore.” 

“Yeah, well the morning I’ve had has proved that,” he agrees, exasperatedly. Beau takes a deep breath and decides to put them both out of their misery. “I know you leaked your own photos, sweetheart.” 

Y/N’s eyes widen, but she quickly purses her lips and shakes her head. “What? Why would I do that?” 

“You tell me, darlin’,” he prompts, cocking an eyebrow. “You can’t lie to me, Y/N. I’ve got the evidence, and if anyone else on the force had taken this case, you could’ve been done for wasting our time.” 

“That’s why I specifically asked for you,” she smirks slightly. 

“Why did you do it?” he presses once more. 

Y/N clenches her jaw and then sighs, looking down at her feet. “I had to get your attention somehow.” 

“By posting photos of yourself naked online? You know I had to see them, right?” 

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” she shrugs, her arms still crossed. 

“You could’ve just called,” Beau counters, glaring. 

“For you to tell me you’re busy with work and then promise to see me this weekend and then call and cancel at the last minute?” she argues. 

Beau takes a deep breath and realises she’s right. “Alright. I know, I’ve been a shitty father,” he agrees. “But this wasn’t the answer. Baby girl, those photos are online forever, we can try to remove them, but people can have copies, and they’ll always crop up again.” 

“Oh well,” she shrugs, like it’s no big deal. 

“You don’t care, do you? You have no idea what you’ve done. Do you know how many men are going to see you like this now, and you’ll never be able to take it back.” 

“What do you care?” she scoffs, moving past him to head into the kitchen. 

“Excuse me? Of course I care. You’re my daughter.”

“The only reason you’re here, Daddy,” she counters, stepping closer to him, her face right up in his, “is because it’s your job. You don’t give a shit about me and never have. You barely even know me, you’ve always put work first. You have no right to be this pissed with me.” 

Beau clenches his jaw, not wanting to argue with her any more on that. They’re already going around in circles. She just stares him down for a moment or two before a small smirk plays on her lips. 

“Unless…” she counters, her smirk only growing deeper. “You’re pissed because you’re jealous.”

“Jealous of what? Hm? Don’t be ridiculous,” Beau scoffs, shaking his head at even the implication. 

“Did you like what you saw, Daddy?” she purrs, biting down on her bottom lip. 

“You’re crossing a line, sweetheart,” he warns her quietly. “All this for my attention, hm?” 

“Well, if I wasn’t getting yours I knew I’d get some guy’s attention,” she giggles. “Only difference is, if another guy from the force showed up I was gonna fuck him.” 

Beau bites his tongue, wanting to verbally ask the question of where he went wrong, but he knows they’ve already established that; he has never done this father thing right. Him being so absent is everything to blame for this situation. 

“That’s all you want? Some guy to give you five minutes of his attention?” Beau asks through a clenched jaw. 

“If he’s doing it right it’ll be longer than five minutes,” she winks, giggling at the way Beau only gets noticeably more irritated by her blasé nature. 

“Oh sweetheart, you were never spanked as a child and it fucking shows,” Beau grunts, his anger only building more and more, especially when Y/N only smirks harder and bites down on her bottom lip, still completely unphased. 

She steps back, hitching the skirt of her dress higher up her thighs as she begins to bend over the table in front of her, giving Beau a full view of the white lace panties she’s wearing underneath. He clenches his jaw and averts his eyes at first, but he finds his gaze wandering back to the one place it shouldn’t go, as he thinks about the photos that she leaked, and how one of them saw her in a similar position but with far less clothing on. 

“What are you doing?” he huffs, only getting even more frustrated. Only this time, it’s with himself. He shouldn’t be fighting with the thoughts that want to enter his brain. He shouldn’t be pushing away all the feelings that want to bubble to the surface. Beau’s not sure he can even acknowledge them right now. 

“It’s never too late to start,” she tells him, looking back over her shoulder, her eyes almost sparkling. “Daddy.” 

“Get up,” Beau demands, his tone a lot more firm than it’s been since he got here, but Y/N does no such thing, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth and wiggling her ass slightly. Beau can no longer deny how tempting it is, and clearly his words aren’t getting through to her, so maybe some good old-fashioned corporal punishment is just what his bratty daughter needs. “Fine.” 

Beau steps up behind her, his jaw clenched, and he has to physically unclench his fist and make sure he keeps his hand flat as he delivers the first spank upon her ass. Y/N flinches and whimpers, but then a short giggle bleeds through her lips, so he delivers a second, just has hard as the first, leaving behind a dark handprint on her skin. Y/N whimpers again, gasping for air, and before he knows it, Beau has delivered a third. His palm is stinging so he can only imagine how Y/N’s ass feels, but there’s something about it that he’s getting some kind of sick, twisted pleasure from, and it’s like he can’t stop. 

He delivers spank after spank, losing himself in the anger of the moment, and he thinks maybe he’ll finally get through to her, until the sound of Y/N moaning cuts through his foggy brain, and as he halts the next strike, he realises his chest is heaving and his jeans are painfully tight around the crotch. 

“You’re enjoying this?” he asks in disbelief, ignoring the fact that the ludicrous question should be aimed at him not her. 

“Did I forget to mention it’s one of my favourite things?” she asks innocently, blinking at him over her shoulder. “It just gets me so wet, daddy.” 

Beau can’t think straight through the fog of his arousal, mixed toxically with his anger. He begins to laugh, even though there’s nothing funny, and a small frown twitches over her forehead at the sound. 

“You want attention, sweetheart? All this is for my attention, hm?” he asks, reaching for his belt. She barely nods her confirmation, and Beau almost relishes in the slight fear that begins to flood into her eyes. “Alright, then you’ve fucking got it. Exactly what you’re craving.” 

“Daddy? What are you doing?” she asks, her voice a lot less smug than it has been. 

Beau ignores her, undoing his pants the rest of the way and stepping up behind Y/N as he reaches for her panties and tears them down over her ass, revealing that pussy he’s already seen plastered over the interest. It’s glistening more now, though, and something about that makes Beau’s cock twitch. 

“Don’t play fuckin’ dumb, baby girl, you knew what you were doing posting those slutty little photos. You were fuckin’ asking for it, so I’m gonna fuckin’ give it to you.” 

She whimpers as he grabs her hips and pulls her closer to him, her upper half falling a little more flat to the table top. 

“I know exactly what a girl with daddy issues needs.” 

Beau doesn’t overthink grabbing his cock and lining it up with her opening, and he doesn’t think twice about thrusting forward and shoving his cock straight inside his little girl, not until he’s as deep as he can get, and he stops for a second, feeling her warm, wet cunt suck him in, clenching hard around him like a vice. Slowly, she relaxes, giving him the room he needs to start thrusting, and he can’t help but moan at the sensation, closing his eyes and tipping his head back. 

“Fuck, Daddy,” she gasps out breathlessly. “You're so big. Fuck, I can’t believe you’re inside me.”

“Don’t play dumb baby girl, this is what you were hoping for, wasn’t it?” he grunts, reaching forward to grab a fistful of her hair. 

“Y-yes,” she stammers out, arching her back into the table, her eyes fluttering closed. 

“Did you want it to be me? Or were you desperate for just any man’s cock in there?” She doesn’t answer at first, but Beau wants one, so he tugs harder on her hair. “Hm? Did you want your Daddy or are you just a slut that needs anyone’s cock?” 

“Yours Daddy, I wanted it to be yours, that’s why I sent the photos,” she admits on an outbreath. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist your baby girl.” 

“Jesus,” Beau grunts, hating that he’s fallen straight into her trap, but he can’t deny he’s never felt this good before. His cock fits her perfectly, like she was made for him. 

“If I’d have known you had a pussy this good, I’d have stuck around,” he tells her, clenching his jaw harder, fucking her deeper and faster. He doesn’t really mean it, but his brain is so foggy with all these good sensations, and every time he says something dirty, or treats her like a whore, she clenches around him in a way that Beau can’t even describe. 

“Fuck Daddy, keep doing that, it’ll make me cum,” she gasps, reaching back and grabbing his hip, pulling him closer to her and sending his cock deeper. “Right there, right there,” she chants, and then he feels her grip onto him like a vice, her walls beginning to spasm around him as she screams out. 

The sound of his little girl screaming like that, the sight of her with her mouth wide open and her eyes rolled back in ecstasy, the sensation of her practically milking his cock is having the desired effect on him, and Beau can feel his thighs begin to tense, his balls begin to tighten as he pulls out quickly and tugs on Y/N’s hair, manipulating her to land on her knees at his feet. She instantly opens her mouth wide, sticking her tongue out, the corners of her mouth pulled up in a smirk as she waits patiently for his orgasm. It comes in hot, thick ropes of cum painting her tongue and mouth as he groans and pants over her, quick to let her go and step back as soon as he’s finished. 

Beau turns around, unable to look at her as he puts himself away and attempts to redress as quickly as he can. 

“Can you get the photos down?” she finally asks. 

“I’ll try,” he tells her, not looking back at her. 

“Are you going to visit again, or do I need to post more of them?” she challenges. 

Beau takes a deep breath, unable to stop the shame crawling over his skin. Not only for what he just did, but for what he drove her to do in the first place. 

“I’ll visit,” he tells her, nodding his head. 

“Then I’ll be here, Daddy,” she purrs. 

But Beau doesn’t reply, he just leaves the room in pursuit of his truck, hoping there really is a way he can remove those photos from existence before they send him back to her doorstep again. 

[angelfoodcake222]

@cow-stealin-gal, here's some answers to that list of questions you mentioned. You weren't kidding when you said this was a lot of questions. It took me a good hunk of the week to answer them all. Whew!

1. "What's the lie your character says most often?" The usual ones: "I'm/it's fine" "I'm/it's okay" "That doesn't hurt" "I'm peachy keen" etc.

2. "How loosely or strictly do they use the word 'friend'?" she uses terms like "My friend", "My dearest friend", or "My beloved friend" as her relationships evolve, in that order. The first one comes when she is comfortable in TADC.

3. "How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?" She shows her more tender, caring side to the main cast, but the audience sees the beast lurking just beneath the sugary surface...

4. "What's a hobby they used to have that they miss?" See Question 38 below. Thank you :3

5. "Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?"

6. "What's their favorite [insert anything] (I picked food & clothes) that they've never recommended to anyone before?"

7. "What would you (mun [???]) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?"

8. "How loose is their use of the phrase 'I love you'?" Boa-Constrictor-catching-its-prey loose. Though she never verbally says those three words in that order or anything similar to it, she prefers showing it rather than saying it. Gift-giving & Words of Affirmation are her specialties. Sometimes she is physical though this is sparce.

9. "Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?" She is a kind, compassionate soul, but adaptive to an uncanny degree. That being said, her type of 'love' varies from character to character with other elements like the immediate environment/scene/situation, etc. at play.

10. "What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?" How fast rabbits are & what bugs are the cutest.

11. "If someone was impersonating them, what would friends/family ask or do to tell the difference?" Have a brief scene written specially for this question! >:3

"Do you think you baby us too much?"

"People do not need to be coddled & babied 24/7. Though it is a nice occurrence to happen when you need it to keep your sanity, too much could do just as much harm as not doing it at all. With that out of the way, dearies-." She snatches the smug double by the arms, ears sharpening like downcast horns. Deep & demonic, her voice reverberates through the double's body to dominate any chance of retaliation. "Who the bloody f@ck do you think you are, messing with my friends, you low-budget, dollar-store wonton!?"

Violence censored by a Cain & Bubble-themed 'Technical Difficulties' screen blocks the scene.

12. "What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!" Really bad jokes. Dad Jokes, puns, & dark humor, mainly.

13. "When do they fake a smile? How often?" She smiles much like Jax but not for the same reasons. She does this smile quite often to try cheering up anyone who may need it. Jax is the exception as he angers her very well.

14. "How do they put out a candle?" When in a good mood, she'll cup her hand behind the flame & blow air with a soft whistle sound. When upset or wishing to look imposing, she'll pinch it out, no finger lick, nothing. Only pinches while holding eye contact with whoever she's attempting to intimidate. The candle (probably) isn't the only thing she would extinguish in this way when put to scale.

15. "What's the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they're alone?" Publicly, she is a caring, nurturing, understanding, healing influence who is an ambivert. Privately, she is a candle down to her wick's end & ready to bring virtual hellfire upon this plain of childcore-coded torment. Being conducive to everyone's mental & emotional betterment is her sanity's glue & staples at this point.

16. "What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?"

17. "What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?"

(18). "Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?" Insufficient information on the writer's part. This question will be answered later when the story is more developed.

19. "What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they've been avoiding?"

Option A) Makes peace as best as she can.

Option B) stays silent & keeps her distance (physically, verbally, emotionally, mentally).

Option C) If the first two fail, time to boss up & whoop a blockhead into rubble.

The last one is once in a Blue Moon but can happen if the person she's been avoiding completely ignores her very visible attempts at peace on purpose. If it's out of worry, she returns to Opt A.

20. "Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don't like the person?" Jax & Cain, for the first half. She loves how laidback Jax is & his impish ways are amusing at times, but she hates when he's malicious & uncaring to the others. She doesn't care about her well-being, only about others, so this is the kindling of her internal conflict. Cain, though charming & charismatic, seemingly caring for his 'cast/friends/coworkers', tends to be a little too much for even her. The unpermitted touching makes this worst. She is not a fan of his activities as they do not entice much brain power to solve & often leaves the crew in danger routinely. Lady loves a good brain scratching when it's safe.

The second half is herself. See, she feels a little guilty about inadvertently putting herself out there as the main maternal figure within the cast when Ragatha was there long before her. Even though she is happy to help everyone reach self-betterment, Ragatha included, she cannot stop the shame from reaching her heart.

21. "What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?" Handshaking. Not everyone is comfortable with physical contact like her so she tries not to do this. She will do this if the person is insistent about it.

22. "What is an example of a simple activity that most people do/can do that scares your character?" Acrobatics & yoga. She isn't too big on heights &/or things that scream "possible body horror" to her.

23. "What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn't/don't even remember?" How she tried to avoid them when she originally blipped into existence under the digital big top.

24. "Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?" No, but if she did it would be a shortbread cookie with raspberry preserves on top.

25. "What subject/topic do they know a lot about that's completely useless to the direct plot?" The amount of rabbit/hare/bunny breeds there are currently & the fun facts for each & every single one of them.

26. "How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?" Takes it on the chin like a champ but is crumbling on the inside.

27. "What's the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?" Glitter trap from Jax. Cain was going to clean her off with the snap of his fingers but stopped when she started laughing merrily & heartedly. "I love fine glitter! Thank you, Jax!" She actually hates glitter of all kinds, fine or chunky, shaped or not. She only did this to damper Jax's malicious smirk. She let Cain clean the rest of the surroundings but wore that glitter for months just to prove a point. Yes, she's motherly & kind, but she has her peeves & limits. Jax pushes all of it.

28. "What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?" To help everyone be their best selves. She wants to be the shoulder(s) to cry into, for the crying person's sanity & hers.

29. "How do they respond when someone doesn't believe them?" Understanding. She isn't everyone's container of favored beverage & she knows it. If the situation is too bad for her to be this way, she will get snippy with the person if that person is rude or ignores her words.

30. "When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it's personal versus when it's professional?" This varies. Bigger the issue/mistake, the worst the emotions & vice versa. She's trying her best though.

31. "When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?" Whenever someone comes to her for advice or comfort instead of Ragatha. She helps them with whatever they're asking with the usual bonus (if desired by the asker) to bring Ragatha's second opinion into play for possibly better results. Ragatha herself comes to her occasionally to talk over subjects they share interests in.

32. "If they committed one petty crime/misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?" Jaywalking & motor vehicle offenses. Jaywalking because she is not fond of crowded routes &/or places period. Motor Vehicle Offenses (Speeding & running traffic lights) because girlie has no head for speed management & has poor vision at a distance.

34. "How do they greet someone they like/love?" All the warm, soft, cozy vocals you could think of. Hugs are optional. She is careful to note what the liked character does & doesn't like to do.

33. "How do they greet someone they dislike/hate?" Very formally. No warmth, no softness. Cold, hard tones through & through until the person catches on to her behavior. What the character does next determines her behavior onwards. Physical contact is at the negative numbers as is her normally kind adaptability.

35. "What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they've made?" Tricking Jax into a box filled with Gloinks as punishment for his mean actions. Due to her respecting the Gloink Queen unlike any other, aside from Kinger, the Queen granted her leadership of some lesser Gloinks to carry out Jax's retribution. Both were pleased with his annoyance & anger.

36. "Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?" Nobody & nope. She is stuck in the circus & takes care of everyone, even Jax (occasionally & sneakily). This is more like maternal intent for most.

37. "What's a secret they haven't told serious romantic partners and don't plan to tell?" Sadomaso to the bone. More on the 'Sado-' than the '-maso', but she has a motherly reputation to uphold.

38. "What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?" Domestic chores; baking, cooking, laundry, & so on. What good are such activities if there is zero need for them?

39. "Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there?" A bit of both. She loves feeling included & welcomed but if she isn't wanted then that's okay. She'll just take a long walk around the grounds or retire to her room. Now, if the invitation is verbally delivered with wholehearted want, she'll attend solely for that one person's contentment. If she is in a position where not one person likes her, she'll shrug. "Don't let me spoil your merriment, dearies. I'll be off now."

40. "How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?" Put simply, she's worried & confused. "Is this person well? Am I grabbing/shaking too hard? Maybe they don't like being touched & are just doing this for etiquette's sake? I'll make a note of this & find better-tailored ways to interact with them if they'll grant me their friendship at any level."

41. What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else?

42. If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

44. What language would be easiest for them to learn? Why?

45. What's something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they're a listener, what makes them talk? If they're a talker, what makes them listen?

47. "Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?" Her family back in the real world. In her defense, nobody remembers anything of their past lives when in the circus.

48. Who would they say 'yes' to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn't want to do?

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

50. What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun [???]) personally don't agree with?

[scarlet-fantasies]

Pumpkin Patch & Fall Hcs w/ Eren (Bf Hcs)

Description: things Eren does with you during the fall and what going to the pumpkin patch is like.

::𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬::

***words are censored to respect Tumblr guidelines

𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑡

𝐼𝑛𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛

𝐶𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑗𝑜𝑖𝑛 --> 𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑒𝑡-𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑠 // 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑙, 𝑟𝑒𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠. 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑒. // 2021-𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🍁When picking pumpkins Eren probably pics a pumpkin that’s a little larger than average just bc.

🍁If you don’t know what pumpkin to get he will “help”.

🍁He’ll tell you get a small one just to tea$e you.

🍁“Babe, why don’t you get the little one?”

🍁“Why? Isn’t it harder to carve?”

🍁“Because it’s little like you.” He’d grin.

🍁“Shut up.” 🍁Oh gosh and when you bend down to get the pumpkin he stares.

🍁He won’t do anything bc he knows that there’s too many people but he will tell you something for sure.

🍁“That was nice.” He’d whisper before giving you a quick kiss.

🍁You’d just look at him confused, “What are you talking about?”

🍁He grin, “Don’t worry about it.”

🍁If it’s kinda vacant he won’t hesitate to grab or smack your @ss tho.

🍁“Eren!”

🍁“What? It wasn’t me. It was the pumpkin.”

🍁You’d look at him annoyed before walking off with your arms crossed, “Sure.”

🍁And he just follows after because what would he do without you.

🍁Sometimes when you're picking pumpkins tho he can be nice and just help.

🍁While you’re trying to choose I see that you’d be about to trip and he catches you before you do.

🍁“Oh not even a thank you—“

🍁You decided to shut him up with a kiss, “Does that compensate?”

🍁“Uh a little more wouldn’t hurt.” He stated, asking for more.

🍁“You’re impossible,” you’d sigh before smiling at him to kiss his cheek.

🍁He’s also back hug you when trying to pick a pumpkin which makes things complicated as it becomes hard to walk in a field.

🍁But he never let's go.

🍁He likes going because he can decorate the pumpkin.

🍁You both probably do something classic and his usually a little more sloppy than yours.

🍁But if he’s really focused it will turn out well.

🍁He puts his hand on yours to “help you” get the right motion.

🍁It’s mostly cause he likes to hold your hand and see how focused you are.

🍁While carving tho you two either work in silence or he says something to derail.

🍁I could also see that he makes you sit on his lap when you carve your pumpkin.

🍁“But Eren, how are you going to carve yours?”

🍁“I can still do it, babe. See?” He’d reassure you by showing you that he was carving it just fine.

🍁Literally will notice if you’re cold you can’t hide it from him.

🍁“C’mon here you’re freezing.” He’d say pulling you closer.

🍁“No, I’m fine. I don’t need—" you’d stop mid-sentence as he wrapped a scarf around you.

🍁“You’re trying to tell me you’re not freezing when your fingers are so cold they're about to fall off?” He’d look at you confused yet almost about to laugh.

🍁“My hands are always like this. It’s fine you don’t need to do anything.” You’d say even though you still were pretty cold.

🍁Before you’d know it he’d pull you into his chest and wrap his arms around you.

🍁He’d kiss your hair before saying “Gosh, you’re such a stubborn girl sometimes, you know that?”

🍁You’d pull back to look up at him, “If I’m stubborn then what are you?”

🍁“Hey, I’m not stubborn.”

🍁“Yes you are!” You’d argue.

🍁“No I’m not!”

🍁“Yes, you are! You’re being stubborn to admit you’re stubborn.” You’d saying leaving him to look at you with a grin.

🍁“You’re the cutest, You know that?” He’d say, cupping your face before kissing you.

🍁“Eren!” You’d complain as he caught you off guard.

🍁“You’re pretty feisty, not even this cold weather calms you down.” He’d laugh.

🍁“Shut up!” You’d glare.

🍁Apart from this he likes to go in the Corn maze and scaring you.

🍁But he doesn’t want to lose you either. However he is usually focused on scaring you.

🍁You two would go when it’s dark which makes it easier for him to scare you.

🍁He’s be walking with you, hand in hand and telling you some scary story about the hook man.

🍁“The hook man isn’t real, Eren. And he doesn’t take girls just because their pretty."

🍁He’d look at you with a smug look. “You say that now only because I’m with you.” Hearing this you’d look to your side to look at him.

🍁You have a playful look, “What makes you say that?”

🍁He’d lean in closer as he explained with a playful tone, “Because I protect you, I’d never let anything hurt you.”

🍁You’d smile at this, “Still he doesn’t exist, with or without your protection.” You’d say your hands on his face as you pulled him in to kiss him.

🍁“Alright~” He’d smirk as you brushed off his obnoxiousness.

🍁Later in as you two continued to walk he’d stay behind to “tie” his shoe and didn’t tell you so you kept walking.

🍁It wasn’t til you were about to ask him something that you realized he wasn’t with you.

🍁“Eren?” You’d question as you turned around to start walking back to find him.

🍁You continued to search for him in the cold on the dirt path of the corn maze. “Eren, where are you? I can’t find you.”

🍁Still with all that you said there was no response. The more you searched the more you began to worry about him and everything else. “ . . . Eren? . . .!” You’d gasp, at the sound only to realize it was a twig that you had just snapped.

🍁You shrugged it off and tried to look for him still. This time you focused more on the sounds and your surroundings, your paranoia slipping in as well. Plus considering you saw aspects that he mentioned in the story to you, you be gain to worry.

🍁You tried to call him on his cell and he wouldn’t answer which got you to be pretty scared, “Eren, please pick up your damn phone. Please just answer this so I know you're okay and that I’m not crazy.”

🍁Of course he didn’t answer and you eventually ran off because you felt like every noise possible was scaring you. Plus you weren’t sure what to do. Perhaps the story was true?

🍁Although before you knew it you bumped into someone, that someone being your dumb@ss boyfriend.

🍁“Eren, oh thank god.” You’d say before running up to hug, tears in the corner of your eyes as you grew overwhelmed.

🍁“Babe what’s wrong—“

🍁“Where the heck were you!? I was really worried I couldn’t find you and started thinking that, gosh I feel so stupid. I really feel like an idiot that I almost thought that —"

🍁“Thought what?”

🍁“Nothing, never mind.”

🍁“Awww, you thought the hookman was real? Y/n, I swear you’re too adorable sometimes.”

🍁“That’s not it—I was just really worried, and everything seemed to align just like a horror movie.”

🍁“Aww, Y/n, I didn’t think you’d get that scared. C’mere.” He’d say, hugging you and stroking your hair. “I told you I’d never let anything happen to you didn’t I?”

🍁You nodded still being in his embrace as he laughed at your worried state.

🍁Aside from this there are other things you two do in autumn.

🍁For example, he likes it when you make cookies but he doesn’t help that much he really likes watching you make them.

🍁He finds your focused expression cute, and usually, he’s just talking to you.

🍁Sometimes he comes up to you and you plants kisses on your arm going down while you’re trying to make the cookie batter.

🍁“Eren, hey~” You smiled at the contact before laughing a little. "I can't make this when you do that." You said while trying to move away as his kisses tickled.

🍁“I really like it when you’re at home.”

🍁He'll steal a cookie from the batch and you tell him not to.

🍁“Eren, at least wait.”

🍁“I’m making sure you made them right.”

🍁You’d roll your eyes before moving the batch away before smiling.

🍁"You keep this up and you're not getting cookies from me ever again." You'd joke.

🍁"I still can, I have many ways to persuade you." He'd grin as you shook your head no in disagreement.

🍁Watches horror movies with you.

🍁If you’re afraid he kinda laughs but he tries to understand your threshold with horror movies.

🍁Will laugh though if you get too scared. He even tries to scare you.

🍁It may even come to the point where he has to change the movie. Which he'd be more than willing to do if he sees that you can't take it.

🍁When it’s cold he tries to warm you up by hugging you since he’s usually pretty warm.

🍁Since it is the season where it gets cold he will witness you sneezing and if you have a tiny sneeze he makes fun of you.

🍁You two would be sitting on the couch with a blanket over your lap while he had his arms wrapped around you. It was all quiet until you had your "sneeze". Of course it was a small sound, at least he thinks so in comparison to his. And Eren couldn’t resist teasing you about it.

🍁“Do we have a mouse in here?” He'd smirk.

🍁“Shut up.” You'd frown.

🍁He’d laugh as a smile crept onto his face before kissing your forehead. “You have a cute sneeze.”

🍁 “I do not.” You argued.

🍁 “Y/n, everything about you is cute. Especially your as—“

🍁You knew what he was about to say and instantly turned your body to put a hand over his mouth. “Shut up!”

🍁This just makes him laugh while you feel embarrassed.

🍁With the cold weather he would be upset if you’re sick.

🍁Since it is cold tho and Eren is very warm you always go to him for warmth.

🍁“Babe what are you doing?” He ask when you his arm.”

🍁“It’s freezing!”

🍁He’d move your hands only to find them be really cold. “Hey—you’re a popsicle. Come here.” He’d laugh before pulling you into his chest.

🍁I swear he is so freaking warm all the time, literally his skin is hot and you’re cold. 🍁And I mean he’s your personal heater.

🍁Eren’s grown used to you being really cold so he always holds your hands in his much bigger hands to warm you up.

🍁"These hands are so tiny and cold." He'd laugh bringing your hands close so he could k!ss them.

🍁"Eren, stop." You giggle, whilst trying to pull away.

🍁Seeing this he put an arm around your waist to keep you close while still teas!ng you, "They're so cute, look how small they are. You're so adorable, gosh I just wanna--"

🍁He had a mischievous look on his face as he spoke which lead you to. realize what he wanted to do. "Eren, don't--ah!"

🍁Before you knew it you were underneath him on the couch in seconds as he started to tickle you.

🍁"Stop, it tickles!"

🍁"It's your fault you're this cute." Even though you ask him to stop he can't resist hearing you laugh.

🍁 Though he does stop eventually only to look at you before leaning down to k!ss you.

🍁And you can best bet he will try to turn this into a makeout session. I mean this man practically eats your face all the time.

🍁Eren doesn’t do much in the fall he likes to stay inside and try to relax.

🍁Usually has indoor dates with you.

🍁Wants you to come over for thanksgiving because he doesn’t want to be alone at the table with his family.

🍁And you expect that Christmas is the same.

🍁Anyways this is all I have, hope you like it!

@bi-effing-simp @sofijaeger @lucifugovs @xxghoulishspritexx @sp00ksic0la @keithandlevi-ontheroof @songbirdgardensworld

@bubs-world

::Previous Post::

1

[discluded]

Hey, same anon that talked about BOC distancing themselves from the LGBTQ+ community. My post wasn't meant to dampen the excitement of them doing new projects with a broader audience. Just saying BOC is shitty for what they're doing. They drop the LGBTQ+ community once they want the eyes & money of homophobes. I hope MileApo's Chinese project is amazing af because they deserve it (& if BL related, it's censored as little as possible).

Thanks for clarifying! Yes, I'm just... tired of BOC right now. To me, I'm happy to throw them away with any other company that practices rainbow capitalism until it's time to stir up my ire again. My main anguish was the impression that BOC had a tight stranglehold on MileApo's potential future success by creating this ceiling with their own incompetence and we're finally free of that concern.

About whether or not it'll be BL and Chinese censorship:

First of all, I'm going to say: I'm excited either way. I don't want their work to be confined to romance, which it sounds like Man Suang will not, and while it will be lovely that queer couples are treated the same way as straight couples (In that they just sort of appear in series as leads and the primary plot is the focus while them having a relationship is background/secondary like Mabel's second season personal plot line in Only Murders), I do understand that's not the media capacity in China.

Either way, we do know they played brothers for the lolz once and it was... um, uncomfortably sexually charged.

That being said, lol this insane drama is gonna come out in China supposedly:

RIP to you if you watch, you might need brain bleach after. I'm not even sure how something like this going to pass censorship review but 😵 I guess we're see.

As far as I'm aware, I saw discussion within danmei fandom that there was potentially some loosening of the censorship rules because apparently capitalism rules all, but I can't seem to find anything about that lately so who knows. I actually saw that TGCF's drama supposedly passed censorship review last year, but it's been almost a year now and no updates.

Finally, a word about LGBTQ censorship by the CCP -- I know not everyone here lives in America or the west (thank God) but I often see comments on Tumblr and Twitter to the effect that people living under governments with human rights abuses share the same beliefs as the government. While there is definitely manipulation of public sentiment through propaganda, please remember that places with such restrictions on human rights hurt the people living in their country first and foremost. (And yes anon, I know that is not what you're saying! just my rant!!!)

The behavior of the government does not reflect the sentiment of individual citizens who live in China ( who don't get to choose their government at all lol )

Article from Feb 2022 about public outrage about the lesbian plotline in Friends being censored

A September–October 2016 survey by the Varkey Foundation found that 54% of 18–21-year-olds supported same-sex marriage in China.[124]

An online opinion poll from Phoenix Network in December 2019, which garnered close to 10 million votes, showed a 67% majority in favor of same-sex marriage in China.[46]

Again, I known anon this is not what you meant or said at all, but if I see anyone in fandom saying racist ass shit about Chinese people, I'm going to start publicly calling them out because fandom is my fun safe space and I don't need people to bring racism into my life 😊🔪

Finally, about what MileApo committed to: a full version can always air on iQiyi internationally while a sad cut version airs domestically (I think what happened with La Forte). Queer storytelling that circumvents censorship to tell the stories of queer people to a wider audience even if maybe not the full version isn't bowing to censorship - it's showing the resilience of LGBTQ people in spite of the attempts to quash out our light.

[khepiari]

About me:

My name: KhepiAri

Pronouns: She/her/They/them

Age: 31

Bi🌈. Bookworm👩‍🏫. BL Connoisseur👬. Bored😮‍💨.

I write fun Crappy One Piece Theories and equally funny deranged Fanfics, especially LawLu fics. And I occasionally doodle and make memes! And I use only one pen-name as fanfic writer aka KhepiAri.

Where you can read my fics?

My Ao3: KhepiAri

My FFN: KhepiAri

My Wattpad: KhepiAri

Ships I write for:

LawLu/LuLaw.

WangXian.

DofuWani.

StanXeno

Ineffable Husbands.

ZoSan.

FakirAhiru.

Junjou Egoist.

SnowBaz.

AnselEvan.

LuSan

SatoSugu

DargoDile

NamiVivi

Ships I plan to write about in future

NavierHeinrey.

RiverSong x 13thDoctor.

Digital Places You Can Find Me At:

Twitter: paulOaries

Instagram: terrible_doodles_by_khepiari

Substack: KhepiAri’s Afterthoughts

Favourite BL/Ship Pairing:

Law X Luffy

Hiroki X Nowaki

Urahara x Aizen (Occasionally)

Simon X Baz

Ansel X Evan from the Amazing Webtoon (THAT AWKWARD MAGIC)

Life X Death (from now discontinued webtoon A Matter of Life and Death)

Aziraphale X Crowley

Magnus X Alec

Wei Wuxian X Lan Wangji

Shen Wei X Zhao Yulan

Xie Lian X Hua Cheng

Zhao Zishu X Wen Kexing

Sarawat X Tine

Xeno x Stan

Gojo x Geto

Current favourite BLs/Yaoi Tv/Manga/Manhwa Series

That Awkward Magic on Webtoon and Tapas (less censored)

Matter of Life and Death on Webtoon and Tapas (less censored) (Author stopped updating)

FOOLs on Tapas

20 Twenty on Webcomics (Author has stopped publishing on the app)

Heir's Game on Webtoon

The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation

Guardian by Priest

2gether on Viki

Manner of Death on IQIYi

Adding You To My Cart on webtoon

Here U Are on Webtoon (censored version)

Beauty and The West Chamber on Webcomics (Censored and poorly translated)

Semantic Error on Manta

To The Stars and Back on Webtoon

Favourite GL/Yuri Ship Pairing:

Vivi x Nami

Marcille x Falin

Rukia x Orihime

Hong Ji-yo x Heo Bo-ra (Glitch Kdrama)

Ongsa x Sun (23.5)

Emily x Sue (Dickinson)

Current favourite GLs/Yuri Tv/Manga/Manhwa Series

ISADORA on Webtoon

The Witch on Webtoon

Office Talk on Webtoon

Show me your Bust

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat

Bittersweet Con Panna on Manta

On a Leash on Manta

23.5 on YouTube

Dickinson (Apple TV)

Warning for future followers:

I don’t care what people ship, read, watch, listen, consume or discuss. I try to follow and practice don’t like it don’t engage with it and live and let live.

Before we make any judgment, remember, that context matters. Nothing is black and white, no creator is perfect, and every one of us has said, done, and indulged in activities that have hurt someone! Hence, engage in things with maximum contextual awareness before making a decision.

Some things don’t need a devil’s advocate, so treat them from the POV of how you can learn from the past instead of trying to justify it!

Racism, transphobia, homophobia, fatphobia, antisemitism, being anti-Palestinian, Islamophobia are bad! Any idea that tells you—other humans need to be oppressed and eliminated, and their experiences discredited is BAD!

I am an antinatalist, so my world-view is screwed up, and I do not entertain or encourage or endorse ideas of eugenics pandered in the name of antinatalism.

I have severe depression, and I have opinions about anything and everything!

If you are a minor following me, please be aware, contents and opinions I share are mature, nsfw, and sensitive, most of the things I share totally depend on my day’s depression and anxiety.

And I do not like distortion of spellings, misuse, or lack of tags and watering down meaning for sensitive topics. As deliberate misspelling and distortion make the purpose of muting, meaning-making and blocking redundant! So don’t write wrong spellings or water-down meanings of words! I will report you if I see you doing this!

Who gets blocked?

And if you are an account with no profile pic/no bio/no activity who suddenly followed me: I will choose to believe you are a bot and block you.

And if I see accounts anti or people with DNI instructions to my ships, I block them in advance to save all of us the headache of running into each other.

My thoughts on censorship

My thoughts on why shipping

My thoughts on age-gap romance

And use that block button before you think you need to be SJW on someone’s posts!

And my main obsession

My favourite ani/manga is One Piece.

I am obsessed with One Piece, I started watching the series at 11, and it has been 20 years as a One Piece fangirl!

So, yes, I will bite you if you badmouth the story without any reason or explanation.

My concerns about One Piece Live Action and why I think Netflix is the problem.

My thoughts on the first teaser-trailer of One Piece Live Action.

We don’t accept Iñakï hate in this house!

My other obsessions

I love 2gether the Series and Still 2gether, and am devoted to loving BrightWin. That doesn’t mean I can’t distinguish between fiction and reality.

So I will not cry in future when Bright and Win find partners in future and live their lives.

I absolutely do not support people demanding Fan service or so-called proof of love from BrightWin as a BL couple. They don’t owe us fans anything. This kind of behaviour is not healthy.

Food TV shows I will sulk and curl up if I don’t get to read and watch cosy Japanese Food Tv Series, books and animanga.

Among cosy Japanese Food TV/books/animanga, I love BLs that revolve around food. My all-time food BL is: What Did You Eat Yesterday. Followed by Our Dining Table and Old Fashioned Cupcakes

My favourite BL webcomic is That Awkward Magic! It is currently being self-published on Webtoon.

My favourite GL webcomic is The Witch, which too is being self-published on Webtoon.

My favourite Danmei book is The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation.

My favourite Danemi author is Priest. Yes, I love MXTX to death, but Priest has me in a chokehold.

And there will be Hozier every now and then.

My DM is open for fic requests and meme requests!

I accept fic requests for my main ship LawLu/LuLaw. And if you want to know why I love LawLu, here is my answer.

I love getting feedback on my stories. Though, I don’t appreciate or want to see rude comments disguised as constructive criticism.

I will take screenshots of it, and I will cry about it like an injured dog on Twitter! I am a pathetic person. So yeah, you have Fic requests, my DMs are open.

You can ask for memes too! I make them for fun!

[denimbex1986]

'Sex scenes have been a part of television and movies for my entire life. So that’s at least a couple of decades of sexually explicit material in your entertainment. I’m not even that old. And there are plenty of movies and television shows that had sex scenes prior to me joining the world. My point here is that there have been sex scenes in media for quite some time...

So maybe it’s because I have just always watched things with sex scenes in them, or maybe I am just built differently than the latest group of people talking about this, but this aversion to sex scenes that’s popping up on social media is really weird. In recent years, a new idea has emerged—that sex scenes “don’t help develop anything” in terms of plot, which is not true. Famously, all of Javier Peña’s sex scenes in Narcos give insight into where his character is emotionally.

The latest “outrage” has to do with Oppenheimer, as audiences go on social media to complain about Florence Pugh and Cillian Murphy’s sex scenes. The film features two sex scenes that many have called “unnecessary,” or suggested that taking them out of the movie wouldn’t hurt it (which is not true). This new need to censor movies because of your own ideals or discomfort is putting your own thoughts and feelings above everyone else’s and that’s a problem we need to unpack. Made so much worse by social media.

It’s not everyone else’s problem! There are people on TikTok, like user ThatsNotLove, pushing the narrative that if someone watches “corn” (the code word for porn on TikTok) in a relationship then that is considered cheating. These are some of the same people pushing the narrative that the sex scenes in Oppenheimer are not crucial to the story. Moreover, these individuals who don’t want to see sex scenes (whether it’s because they consider them to be pornographic or because of their own personal reasons) should quite frankly be making these choices for themselves only.

Going on social media to talk about sex scenes in a negative way, dismissing their importance in film and television, or pushing the narrative that things of a sexual nature in media are unnecessary because you don’t want to see it is censorship, plain and simple. It also plays into a bigger social and cultural issue.

Right now, the topic of conversation is Oppenheimer, but the idea that sexuality or sex of any kind in media is bad comes from a conservative talking point. Even the most wholesome queer media, like Heartstopper, is being censored because conservatives think it’s being used “to recruit your kids.”

...If you think that a movie or a show “doesn’t need” a sex scene, then you are not paying attention to what that scene might actually have to say about its characters. If you’re that upset about a sex scene, maybe don’t watch movies! Help yourself by not putting yourself in that situation. Instead, you’re going to try and force your views on everyone else? Enough.'

[vergess]

The Letters from Watson situation and you bringing up that being exposed to bigotry over time normalizes it reminds me of a situation where I was hurt because someone didn't tw for bigotry. I watched the Nanny a lot as a young kid and when Matt Baume did a video essay about it and it's roots in queer culture I decided to try and re-watch it. When I actually went to watch it, I was floored by the sheer scale of fatphobia presented. It wasn't a jab here or there every other episode, it was a barrage of fatphobia in every episode, baked into the text. I tried to hold out, to see if I could ignore it, but eventually found myself in tears as a chubby child actress was berated on screen for comedic effect. But what really scared me was... The show was getting to me. I was starting to see the thin but less petite elder daughter as fat, when I wouldn't have before. The show was changing my perspective despite my best efforts to not let it get to me. Fatphobia is not comparable to anti semitism, but this taught me that, if you are going to present a piece of media, or analyze it, not mentioning or warning for bigotry is irresponsible at best, and endorsement at worst. I'm still a bit irritated that fatphobia wasn't mentioned even once in the essay. I'm really sorry this backlash is happening over a very reasonable reaction. :/

Mmm, actually I think most kinds of bigotry are very comparable.

Not universally, no. But, in general? People benefit from comparing them. Solidarity is often built on learning the things we have in common first, so that we can better help respect and protect each others' different needs, interests and abilities.

Just off the top of my head, for example, fat people and Jewish people are both characterized as greedy, and in fact, Jewish people are often specifically characterized as fat.

But that's REALLY off topic, haha.

In this case, while there were some warnings made about a month ago (apparently these warnings were repeated if you use the email reader, but I do read on the website, where the warnings are not repeated), and while I was aware of the content going in, my issue is, again, not with the existence or lack thereof of the TW list.

As I have. Repeatedly and constantly said. I think the TW list is lovely. It's great. It's very complete. Nice work everyone. No one has any problems with the TW list. No one has ever had any problems with the FUCKING. TW. LIST.

THE PROBLEM. IS WITH. THE UNHINGED. ANTISEMITISM. IN RESPONSE. TO THE MOST MILQUETOAST. IMAGINABLE. POST. EVER. MADE.

Here's the breakdown.

20 y/o Jewish woman: Gosh, even with the trigger warning a whole month ago that imo was really not enough, that sure was some antisemitism. I would prefer to see more pushback on such intense racism in the future, but it is early days. Sure hope things get better as we go!

Me, 30+ Jewish person: Haha, yeah, reminded me of how much it hurt to read when I was a kid. Glad I've got bigger problems to worry about nowadays lol.

Every gentile within earshot: OH SO YOU THINK WE SHOULD CODDLE YOU POOR LITTLE JEWBABY FEELINGS HUH? WE SHOULD CENSOR ART FOR YOUR PRECIOUS WIDDLE OWIES? YOU WANT YOUR TO PRE-DIGEST YOUR WORDS BECAUSE YOUR SUBHUMAN JEW BRAINS CAN'T READ? KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

Me, again: Okay, well. That is an extreme fucking reaction so let's fucking calm our asses down with the goddamn nazi shit for ten fucking minutes, perhaps????

And then the gentiles devolved into further screaming about how I'm, I don't know...

They seem to have convinced themselves of a lot of things at this point. The ones willing to put their names on it are mostly content to call me anything from a liar to a harasser to an imbecile incapable of reading, to someone with a personal hatred of the Substack operator, etc etc.

They seem broadly convinced that I "want" something or to impose on the substack. Which is nonsense. All I "wanted" was to read some books I liked with a group of people and discuss, and that ship has thoroughly fucking sailed.

The anonymous bitches are mostly wandering into blood libel at this point. Again, I used to post all my anon threats, but I stopped doing that once bigots got smart enough to start reporting me for spam when I did that, because victims showing their harassment in public is, of course, the real harassment.

They also seem not to be aware of a very simple fact:

I can still see your comments in my notifications page if I'm the OP, even after you've blocked me, and it is very fucking obnoxious.

[grunge-mermaid]

grunge rewatches midsomer murders pt 2

full disclosure: I'm mostly knitting and kind of watching bc I'm still rotted only season 1 of Little Mosque on the Prairie is available on prime & if I want to watch the rest I have to sign up for Disney+

but anyway, here's pt 2 of That Corpse Is Breathing Pretty Deeply Fellas You Sure She's Dead?

2x01 Death's Shadow

opening with a flashback. always a good omen. Gerald/Liam started with a flashback and that episode was fucking wild man

Judy Parfitt...Judy Parfitt...

I know I could look her up but I want to be surprised by how I know her

no Joyce don't fall victim to the wedding industrial complex

OH

SISTER MONICA JOAN

OF COURSE IT'S SISTER MONICA JOAN

I FUCKING LOVE SISTER MONICA JOAN

ahh good old Badger's Drift

all the good murders happen in Badger's Drift

"the head bounced into the hall" yikes

I knew there was a beheading in Badger's Drift I just got the episodes mixed up

why are there so many abusive husbands in these villages

well that hymn definitely isn't shared with the UCC

and we're back in the One And Only Lawyer's Office Set

oh that's a good murder

so dramatic and intense

love it

that corpse definitely isn't breathing

no lungs left

side effect of being burned to a crisp

please tell me someone's going to get an arrow through the neck

Chekhov's quiver

fine I'll settle for an arrow in the back

a character called Fletcher getting killed by a bow & arrow. beautiful

*gets caught in bed with a 19yo man* "I am not a homosexual, it disgusts me" baby boy... let me introduce you to the concept of internalized homophobia

"we never meant to hurt him" YOU LYNCHED A CHILD

WHY WOULD YOU PUT A NOOSE AROUND A CHILD'S NECK AND MAKE HIM STAND ON A RICKETY CHAIR ON UNEVEN GROUND IF YOU NEVER MEANT TO HURT HIM

gotta love it when the corpses don't breathe. such a rarity on this show

2x02 Strangler's Wood

only rated 13+? that doesn't bode well

this is the episode that was on PBS the other day that made me want to rewatch the series

they censored the word "shit"

idk why you can't say "shit" after 9pm on American television

anyway...let the commentary commence

if I didn't know that was Phyllis Logan I wouldn't believe it

11yo boys in the woods before school is never good

grown ass man can't take care of himself

stop infantalizing your husbands challenge 1998

ahh there's some good old fashioned victim blaming

I do appreciate a good Obvious Red Herring

I think one of the writers has a choking fetish

that comment's gonna get me some bots isn't it

"help my son is gay" "get a life"

I know I only watched this the other day but I already forget if they address why Kate Merrill recognizes Troy's name

like obviously he's written to her agony column, at least that's how they're setting it up, but I don't remember if they actually address it

"she's being dying for about 6 years now. we're getting used to it"

hey it's a Jenny Lind bed! *proceeds to sing Heave Away on loop in my head*

Come get your duds in order cause we're bound to cross the water

Heave away me jollies heave away

Come get your duds in order cause we're bound to leave tomorrow

Heave away me jolly b'ys we're all bound away

it's just not the same without Connor Bedard

what is with the kids in these villages? is there something in the water that makes them all psychopaths?

the continuity in this show is *chef's kiss*

gotta reference every previous case always

...is this what straight men find attractive?

is that cigarette ad supposed to be sexy?

I love the Terrible American Accent that is specific to shows like this

got distracted by making a knitting pattern more complicated than it needs to be because intentionally stressing myself out over a lace wedding veil is more interesting than rewatching an episode I just saw like 2 days ago

I'll try to be more focused for the next ep but for now it's eurovision performances and then bed

2x03 Dead Man's Eleven

ah fuck it's cricket themed I'm gonna be completely out of my depth

full disclosure: it's nearly 40c (104f) and I don't have air conditioning so if my computer (or my brain) overheats, the commentary will be brief

like this

nearly 20mins in and I have no clue what's going on because my brain is soup

haunted museum? 350-year-old family feud? that's all I've got

something about smoked mackerel

good god the sound on my parents tv is fucking awful

the music and screaming are painfully loud but the dialogue is barely audible

I get that Sandra is traumatized and all but jesus everything she says is a piercing shriek

wait a minute

the episode description mentioned cricket

why is there no cricket yet?

I want to steal my cat's cooling mat

can I make it through the last 30 minutes before taking a nap?

why am I not intrigued by this episode? is it boring? is it the difficult-to-hear dialogue making the episode hard to follow even with captions? is it the heat making it impossible to focus? we may never know

hard to tell if the corpse is breathing when it's buried

good lord that was the longest 7 minutes of my life how is there still 23 minutes to go?

*makes impatient "wrap it up" gesture*

OH MARTYR WARREN. it's a place!

I thought they've been saying Marta since 1x01

I assumed they were talking about a person who lived in Midsomer

someone everyone knows, runs a cute little shop or something, pillar of the community, everyone's nan kind of person

one of those characters who's always referenced but never seen. like Villix'pran or Captain Boday on DS9

apparently this is actually 3x04 Beyond The Grave. the real 2x03 has a really great cast (Imelda Staunton, Annabelle Apsion, Robert Hardy, Toby Jones). can't tell you who any of these folks are though

3 minutes left...

of course they read daily mail

but at least they're critical of it

ok nap time. summer is the worst.

2x04 Blood Will Out

the heat broke and my parents have gone out so I get the good tv tonight. let's wrap up season 2

Martyr Warren. of course it's set in Martyr Warren

this ep is about Travellers, it's gonna be culturally insensitive isn't it?

who is this guy

OH

he's Gibbs from Pirates of the Carribean

Hector Bridges reminds me of Dr Bombay

ok so far this isn't as bad as I expected

there's still an hour and a half to prove me wrong though

like yeah there are townspeople who are being dicks but so far the police have just said "please don't litter and please leave when you said you would"

"I'm not kinky"

no shit Troy

you're so repressed vanilla is too spicy for you

and that's coming from me

Barnaby gets points for the casual use of the singular they

please tell me those are not morris dancers in blackface

I do appreciate that the rich bigots are the baddies here and not the travellers like you would expect from a nearly 30 year old show

also appreciate the widow not grieving her abusive husband

"the killer did us a favour"

Wife Swap: version 2.0

ah there we go

Troy being the asshole we know and hate

love me some gossipy bitches gossiping about murder over a game of scrabble

this is some spec ops shit isn't it

nope not spec ops just a corrupt commander

Troy may be as kinky as a slice of wonder bread, but the writers of this show are definitely into some shit

or has AO3 just completely ruined me and I see kink where there is none?

"I made the classic mistake of not believing you had been abused" a cop making a good and sincere apology? I'm shocked

murdering someone with a shotgun while dressed in all white is a bold move girl

well that's season 2 over and done with I guess. see you back here for season 3.