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ilguna · 2 years

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☼ her (Johanna Mason) ☼

summary; ' Hi hi!! I wanna request a Johanna Mason x f!reader where the reader was also a tribute in her games from a different district who died before the finale (lots of angst lol) maybe written from present time Johanna looking back? Tysm, I love your work! ‘

warnings; swearing, murder, murder plot, death in small detail

wc; 3.8k

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Johanna Mason should not have been the winner of the Seventy-First Hunger Games.

There was another girl, much kinder with soft eyes and a pretty smile. She tried to include Johanna in everything that she did, she was much more deserving of the title. The District Five girl—like everyone else—had fallen right into Johanna’s hands, believing that she really was useless. The difference between her and them, was instead of laughing and leaving her out, she went out of her way to invite Johanna to join her.

Johanna can’t pretend that she was friends with her from the beginning. They came from two different districts, neither of them important enough to pose a threat. She was more focused on the dangerous tributes, One, Two and Four. She had to know the careers, what game they were going to play so that Johanna could play the opposite.

It wasn’t until Johanna watched the recap again, did she begin to take the other tributes into consideration. She didn’t have to know their names, or what they were wearing, only their reactions to being reaped for that year’s Hunger Games. Well, fortunately for that Five girl, she was the first to be called after District Four, when Johanna was still halfway interested in her competition.

(Y/n), that’s all that stuck with Johanna. Not the last name, because that would never be useful. She lifted her head from the crowd, eyes finding the stage, before moving into the aisle without a fight. She’d been the first tribute that hadn’t made a scene about being reaped. Johanna could tell that she wasn’t from anywhere important, what she was wearing wasn’t expensive. It was the attitude that stood out to her, the way she smiled.

The other tributes behind her weren’t as amazing, none of them posed a threat, much less the tributes from Eleven and Twelve, who might have well been still sucking on pacifiers. Johanna would fit right in with the outcasts, the babies that’d been reaped. She had this plan since she turned twelve.

If Johanna were to ever be reaped, she would want to be underestimated. All the tributes before her had a big name, an ego, showing their cards to prove they were the best. What happens when you aren’t? She’d never seen a hidden tribute come out on top like that, none of them could ever make it. She could.

She was never after the name, only the win. She wanted to make it home, just like everyone else. It wasn’t her fault that she came up with the brilliant idea early on. She cried on stage when she was reaped, her eyes were puffy and red. Her tribute partner took the news way better than she did, obviously. He wasn’t full of tears, it was mostly shock.

In the Capitol, she kept playing up the act, crying during her remake. Enough to the point where her prep team ordered her to stop, where she played it up more to make them feel bad. They also fell into the trap, it was too easy to do. The stylist dressed her as a tree, as he’d done for three decades without being replaced. It’s like the stylists that dress the One and Two tributes the same every year too.

Johanna remembers walking out of the building, out onto the open floor, where the chariots and other tributes were waiting for the show to start to get it over with. The careers were dressed in their usual attire, other districts were just as unlucky as Johanna when it came to repeated outfits.

Except, the Five stylists had come up with something different that year. Instead of messing around with lightbulbs and glitter, they’d switched to another source of power, fire. It wasn’t like they’d done with Katniss, lighting her on fire and leaving her to burn on the chariot. There was nothing of the sort, it was all said in the outfit.

(Y/n) was dressed like a candle, the entire dress lopsided, heavier on one side than the other. It was long, for the most part. On the left, the fabric was longer on the sleeves, the dress pooled on the ground, like melted candle wax collecting at the base. On the right, the dress was off the shoulder, cutting low on her breast. That side of the dress was cut off at the middle of her thigh, because sometimes candle’s don’t melt evenly.

For the first time in years, District Five had the spotlight during the Tribute Parade. Johanna’s not sure why, the dress wasn’t anything to gawk at. The jewelry didn’t convey it properly, and she quite literally had a headband with a black stick on the top of her head to symbolize the wick. It’s not like it mattered in the end, anyway. The craze was short-lived.

It wasn’t until the training started, did Johanna really get the taste of her. From the moment they were released by the Head Trainer, (Y/n) stuck next to Johanna like glue, but unlike glue, the girl was unshakable. It was irritating, to some extent. Johanna went from being subtle about wanting to be alone, trying to use her crying act to get her away, only it brought her in more.

So, she asked (Y/n) to leave.

It didn’t work, which meant that Johanna was going to have a shadow following her for the rest of the time they were inside of the Capitol. The weird girl from Five, who’d smiled during the reaping and managed to catch some eyes during the Tribute Parade, was now Johanna’s friend.

Johanna wasn’t completely rude about the situation, it was her own fault that her act was working so well. And over the three training days, she learned to appreciate (Y/n), because she was giving Johanna cover. The sympathy and the teaching was proving to the other tributes that she wasn’t a threat, and to continue to overlook her.

The issue is, that over the period of three days, Johanna was talking to her, hearing about where she came from, why she was there, who she was. The answer to those should be obvious, but they’re not. (Y/n) wasn’t just a girl from District Five, she was an early worker that came from the dam, with too many siblings to feed. That’s why her name was drawn from the bowl, because she kept putting her name in for Tessera.

She was there because of herself, and she was grateful she was drawn because she’d never have the courage to volunteer. She was seventeen, the same age as Johanna. In one more year, she wouldn’t have to worry about going inside of the arena, ever again, but that would also take away the ability to win. To have a steady amount of money coming from the government each month. It would feed her siblings better than she ever could.

In a way, (Y/n) was crazy for thinking like that, yet it didn’t push Johanna away from her. It drew her closer, because if she was so desperate to win to feed her family, then why was she making friends with people who showed no threat of winning? Because Johanna wasn’t the only person that she went around talking to, there were others. The only reason why she didn’t stick with them is because they told her to leave.

Besides, if (Y/n) thought she was doing people favors by trying to recruit them, she was actually damning them. She didn’t know much, that was clear from the beginning. The only things she really managed to succeed at were the basics. She could start a fire, she knew how to clean a wound and stitch it if it were necessary, she was able to hold a weapon without going down with it. She was ordinary.

So was the score she earned from the training, a six. Halfway on the scale, nothing sponsors could work with. The Gamemakers thought she wasn’t special, why should the people spending the money think otherwise? The only outstanding part of her so far was the outfit during the Tribute Parade, an idea that wasn’t hers. She just wore it.

Johanna wouldn’t see her for the next day and a half, something that she’d been looking forward to since the first day of training. Only, when the day came around, the silence was filled the way she wanted it to be. With (Y/n) she can direct the conversation so that she enjoys it too. Johanna spent hours on end between her stupid Capitol escort and mentors that couldn’t give a shit about what she does during the interviews.

When that night did finally come, (Y/n) found Johanna as soon as she walked into the hallway. For the first time since she came into the Capitol, (Y/n) was serious, approaching Johanna. Johanna couldn’t have guessed what was going to come next, the deadpan expression, asking if she would join her in an alliance.

Johanna told her no. It wasn’t because she didn’t want an alliance, because she knew how much smoother it would go in the arena if she had someone to watch her back. It was because she knew that (Y/n) could find a better partner inside. Johanna had scored a three, the lowest a Seven tribute had gotten in years. If (Y/n) had even the slightest chance at getting people to sponsor her, it would be wiped out by Johanna’s presence alone.

That wasn’t the only reason, though. The more Johanna talked to her, and began liking her, the harder it would be to kill her later on. Johanna came in with a game plan, one that couldn’t be screwed up by being soft around another tribute. It’s simple: she plays the damsel card, and then she viciously murders. There was no middle part where she formed her own group. It was straightforward to avoid the whole conflicted-murder part.

Well, (Y/n) took it better than Johanna thought she would. For a second, it looked like she was going to argue, explain why they would be better together. And then she nodded, wished Johanna good luck, and then left to get back to her place in line. It was disappointing, not hearing her beg Johanna to stay.

On stage, (Y/n) had the brightest smile, nodding at Caesar, easily conversing with him. She talked about her family, what she’ll do when she wins. She showed off the dress she was wearing, which was navy blue in color and puffy. She twirled for the audience, and then curtsied at the end of her interview, thanking them for her time.

Johanna, on the other hand, couldn’t have put on a better act. She was shy, and on the brink of tears the entire time. It was painful for Caesar, she got gratification from watching him squirm to keep the conversation going. What do you say to someone so fragile without triggering the tears? Johanna maybe said ten words total in the three minutes she was given. Caesar resorted to yes or no questions.

Then the arena came around, the cornucopia was in the middle of a forest. They were surrounded by tall pine trees, needles and cones scattered across the ground. It was dark, the sun could hardly get through their strong branches. For once, there was a landscape aimed for the Seven tributes, maybe it was to taunt the mentors, because their tributes were so weak.

It didn’t matter to Johanna, she could hardly hold back the smile. It took all the power inside of her not to run to the cornucopia like she wanted to. She could see the axes outside, on display to her and her tribute partner. Instead, she ran away, like she was destined to, far into the trees to hide.

She was by herself, still playing up the act, because the only audience that was left at that moment were the people in the Capitol. She couldn’t have the mentors quietly telling their tributes to keep an eye on her, to hunt her down. She’d let the tributes figure that out on their own, let them come to her.

The first day, eight tributes died, one of them being a career, leaving five left over. She camped out near a large clearing of only grass, not a single flower in sight. On the second day, two of them were gone, presumably by the career pack, searching for victims. The next five days would be quiet, not a single tribute.

Johanna was found out in the clearing by the five careers. And thinking she would be an easy victim, they chased her for hours through the trees, where she drove them in circles and deeper so that it would be harder for them to navigate their way back to the cornucopia. If she couldn’t have it, then no one could, especially them. It just meant that she had to be careful when moving.

Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t completely unscathed. The girl from Four was smart, she managed to get Johanna across the cheek and good gash into her upper arm. The wound on her face had stopped bleeding after a few hours, but the one on her arm was a whole new story. It was too deep, the only thing that could heal it was the Capitol, or anything from the cornucopia, now out of the question because even she couldn’t find it at that point.

It only took one day before another tribute ran across Johanna, this time at night. She’d lit a fire because it was getting cold, adn with the density of the woods, she believed that she’d be safe. The careers were supposed to be miles away, the branches would cover the smoke. If they did find her, she’d outrun them again.

It wasn’t a career that found her, it was (Y/n).

She had a forest green backpack, with an ax strapped to the side of it. Her hair was messy, like she kept moving it out of her face without running her fingers through it entirely to smooth it out. In one of her hands was a knife, clean but prepared to use it if she needed to.

The moment she saw Johanna, she lowered the weapon and smiled, “Johanna.” She breathed.

The reason why Johanna hadn’t bled to death, or caught some nasty infection that would’ve taken off her arm, is because of (Y/n). Disregarding the fact that they were now inside of the arena, and it would be fair game to murder her. They weren’t friends, Johanna thought she’d established that at the interviews by saying no to her offer. Still, here she was, cleaning the wound in her arm, stitching it, and bandaging it.

She took the ax from her backpack and handed it to Johanna as a peace offering, saying that she needed a weapon too. It was a risky gesture, just handing the ax over without her own knife out. Still, Johanna played up the fact that she really couldn’t hold it, and insisted that (Y/n) kept it for safety. She shrugged.

Once again, she offered the alliance, this time Johanna said yes.

That same night, the careers saw the light from the fire, and managed to come close enough to the point where running wouldn’t have saved either of them. They’d already killed two people earlier that day, bringing the count down to ten tributes left in the arena, Johanna couldn’t possibly have known that they would go for more. However, she should’ve known better.

(Y/n) couldn’t fight, she could hold a sword in her hand, but she didn’t have a sword, she had a knife. It was Johanna, who could actually wield the ax and take down tributes. She only had a second to decide, either give up her act and save (Y/n), or throw her to the wolves and run.

The other option didn’t even exist to her.

The ax came off the backpack, Johanna getting to her feet, holding it in her hand. She remembers (Y/n) calling her name, telling her to back off, because she’d get herself killed. The careers sneered, she can still see that stupid expression. Right before she swung the ax into the boy’s head. Effectively wiping the look off their faces, and forcing them to take a reality check.

Johanna only killed one more, even though she was going to take down the whole pack if she could. They all left, scattering in the trees, leaving the two of them with the bodies. It was an unfair fight, Johanna was fairly surprised that they didn’t take the risk, gang up on Johanna and then take down (Y/n).

That’s what Johanna would’ve done.

To say that her ally was speechless would be an understatement. Johanna had barely moved to look at her friend, and (Y/n) had jerked away, eyes locked with hers. It was more than just shock, there was fear there too. Johanna’s plan had worked, she cried her way into the arena, and she had no right to feel her heart drop to her stomach when the only tribute she’d made as a friend, had wanted nothing to do with her.

“I won’t hurt you.” Johanna told her, dropping the ax. She didn’t want to drive (Y/n) away, that was the last thing she wanted now. She risked everything to save her, why would she ruin that now? “I promise you’re not a target, you never were. I did it because of the careers.”

“What does a promise mean here?” She’d asked, “How do I know?”

“I would’ve killed you the moment you handed me the ax, wouldn’t I?” Johanna shot back, defensive, “Go, if you want.”

(Y/n) held her ground, obviously trembling, eyebrows drawn together as she examined Johanna, if she was telling the truth. She must’ve come out with an answer she liked, because she loosened, let out a breath, and shook her head, “You have another cut, come here so I can heal you.”

The two of them got closer, mostly because they were around each other constantly, sharing their knowledge. What (Y/n) picked up in the Training Center had come in handy, even if it wasn’t a lot. One of those skills turned out to be important, what she’d been using to find Johanna.

She knew how to track.

It only took a day before she found a path, it didn’t belong to the careers, but it did bring them to a smaller alliance, between the remaining Ten and Six tributes. There, Johanna killed them both, bringing the number of tributes from eight to six. The remaining tributes were the three careers, her and (Y/n), and a lone tribute.

Finding the other tributes were harder, another three days passed before (Y/n) thought she found the careers. It had multiple footprints, which could only belong to one group, and it wasn’t theirs. Because the number would be uneven, (Y/n) wanted to come with, help Johanna take down the three careers because that wasn’t going to be an easy feat.

Johanna told her to keep put. She didn’t need someone following her around, having another body to protect would make it hard to focus. So, she stuck her inside of a hollow tree, and went off to kill the careers alone.

That’s what she thought, anyway. Johanna got all the way to the camp, finding only two of them, and it didn’t tick her off in any way, even though it should’ve. Three careers left, and she could only see two of them? The third’s got to be lurking somewhere nearby, right? That’s what makes sense. Johanna overlooked that fact, and it costed a life that she cared about.

She’d killed one career, moving onto the second, when there was a scream behind her. She didn’t turn right away, not until the job in front of her was done. When she did see the scene going on, it was too late.

(Y/n) had wrapped her body around the boy that was creeping up to Johanna, bringing them both to the ground in a struggle. It wasn’t, though. It was easy for the boy to stab her, because he pinned her wrist to the ground and stabbed her over and over, draining every remaining minute of her life with each puncture.

Johanna killed him too, and barely had enough time to cradle her friend’s dying body.

She can still feel (Y/n)’s hand touching her cheek, fingers lazily wiping away one of Johanna’s tears. The pretty smile returned to her face, this time her teeth stained red with the blood she was resisting to cough up in Johanna’s face. The words were quiet, it took all the effort in her body to say.

“You’re going to win.”

(Y/n) died less than a minute later, eyes as lifeless as her body. Johanna could hardly muster the strength to close her eyelids before leaving the career camp, hoping that the trees would catch fire and leave a burning path behind her. She didn’t realize the impression that (Y/n) had left on her.

Johanna killed the last tribute without a problem, being crowned the victor. It didn’t feel right, though, as if there was a spot next to her that was empty, that should’ve been full. She knew what the problem was, who was missing. It was the girl that had succeeded in burrowing her way into Johanna’s heart and calling it home.

There are times where Johanna closes her eyes and wishes that she could have just one more conversation with her. To hear what she’d have to say about everything now. This is what she would’ve wanted, peace for the districts for once. Here, everyone’s fed and never hungry.

Johanna wishes she were alive.

(Y/n) would be better at this whole rebel thing than Johanna is. She’d know what to say, she’d give everything she could to help the people around her. Johanna doesn’t even know why she’s here anymore, being asked to go out there for Katniss. (Y/n) would be a perfect fit for Johanna’s role.

Johanna misses her like she misses her family. She’d give anything to hear her laugh one more time, the endless advice as if Johanna was completely clueless. The teamwork, the smiles. Johanna shouldn’t be here today, it should be her.

It’s not fair that the good ones get taken first.

(Y/n) (L/n) should have been the winner of the Seventy-First Hunger Games.

#ilguna #johanna mason #johanna mason imagine #johanna mason x reader #johanna mason oneshot #johanna mason fanfic #thg #the hunger games #requested

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yodeleyewho · 1 year

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So there’s this old 80’s show that I’ve recently found called “The Duck Factory”, it’s about a team of people who work on an animated show and the main character moves to Cali to become an animator. The MC is also played by Jim Carrey (but just know that I did not start watching this bcuz I’m a fan of his I started watching bcuz I’m a fan of my babey boy Clarence Gilyard who plays one of the characters) who plays the straight man in the story which I think is a cool break from the wacky characters he usually plays. But this show only has 13 episodes and do you know why?

Because the writing SUCKS

The writing can be sooo bad sometimes 😭 and there’s nothing too bad about the acting, there’s a few times where they don’t let a joke sit, sometimes they a moment goes by too fast, and then there’s the laugh track, like… ugggghhhhhhaksdbdlavr..

This show had such a cool idea, but they completely fumbled the script 😭😭

I was so upset about them kinda messing it up that I’ve decided that this will be my project to improve this script.

But! there are times where they actually handle certain subjects kinda okay, like:

• Assumptions about a women based on the way she dresses

• The way some people view girls who have bloomed early

• M/F friendships (I was so scared about the way they were gonna handle it)

• Computers taking over jobs (though it wasn’t given too much of a serious scene it just a quick line, but with all the stuff happening with AI and writing and such i just figured to include it in the list)

And since I haven’t finished the entire show I don’t know what else they’re talking about, but I guess I was kinda surprised to see these topics come up but I don’t really know why I am..

But anyway, this show has a lot of remake potential and I just wanted to rant about it a little bit, but I think y’all should check out the show (even though I just told y’all it was terrible) to see what I mean.

#small rant #except they didn’t really handle the gay joke well #one character called two other characters perverts because they made an quick assumption about him #I was like 😐#seriously #jim carrey #clarence gilyard jr #acting #writing #AI script #rewrite #script #80s #80s tv shows #80s shows #The Duck Factory

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honourablejester · 2 years

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I’m just watching Encanto (well, pieces of it) and I have a lot of thoughts on it. Thoughts that kind of started from Isabela and her awesome funky cactus jungle when she finally lets go, but then went … elsewhere. Heh:

First, though. I genuinely do love Isabela’s ‘let it go’ scene so much. I love that she gets fully angry, and embraces her anger, and has her powers react to her anger, and the first thing it produces is this (kind of adorable) lopsided spiky cactus, and she’s knocked out of her anger immediately just from the wonder of this tiny imperfect angry little thing that she’s made. She’s just … awed. And then she runs with it, she realises that she can grow what she’s feeling, and by the end of this song she’s made a full-on funky almost alien-looking desert jungle biome around the house, full of spiky shapes and loud colours, reds and purples and blues, bright yellows and greens.

I just love the way she went with it. She doesn’t want just ‘pretty and perfect’ anymore, she never did, what she wants is nearly a whole other world, full of danger and exploration, spiky things and blue travelling vines and clouds of messy colour exploding everywhere. She wants things that are lopsided and spiky and carnivorous and strangling and messy and loud. She doesn’t want to be a garden, she wants to be a jungle. Well, a verdant spiky desert jungle, anyway.

I love the little moment where she first gets splashed with the yellow pollen, gets it all over her dress and her picture-perfect appearance, and she has a little moment of terror at allowing her image to be broken, but then she looks at Mirabel and her sister is all ‘you go girl!’ and she just lets herself get absolutely messed up, green streaks in her hair, clouds of pollen everywhere, her dress nearly blackened and covered in splotches of colour. And she never lets go of that, despite everything that promptly (and literally) falls down around their ears. She decides she’s going to keep it. Let the marriage happen to someone else, the person who wanted it, she’s going to grow cacti and wear splotchy dresses and occasionally grow alien gardens up the nearest wall.

I just … I love that it was a cactus, and then that she embraces the full weird end of what plants can look like and be, makes this whole other funky biome around herself.

And I love that Mirabel starts out this song trying to force the hug moment, playing along purely for her own reasons and aims, and then she actually realises how much Isabela means it, how desperately important it is to her and how much playing the ‘perfect granddaughter’ has squashed and hurt her over the years, and she starts supporting her sister for real and out of genuine love and excitement, and that’s when the hug happens. For real. Out of real emotion. Because Mirabel helped her sister for real, out of real love and excitement, and enjoyed the song and her sister’s happiness and exploration of her powers just for their own sake, and that’s what healed the family. Doing things for real and for each other, not for the image or for the ‘protection of the family’. Like, Mirabel didn’t realise it, but she was nearly doing an Abuela on it, she was playing-acting at being family for the sake of preserving the idea of family, going through the motions of the hug not because she loved Isabela but because she thought that’s what the prophecy/magic wanted. But then she realises Isabela is really hurt, and this thing brings Isabela real joy, and she goes all in immediately, understanding and supporting her, and the magic starts to return. Because it was born out of love originally, and that’s all it really needed to come back. Not duty or image or good works, but just loving and enjoying and celebrating someone you love, as spiky as they might happen to be.

And that’s why it was Isabela & Mirabel that were the starting-point for the breaking-and-remaking, why the prophecy pointed to them, because between them they’re a perfect microcosm of Abuela Alma and her trauma and her trickle-down mistakes over the years. Isabela is the product and mirror of Alma’s obsession with image and perfection and the trauma it secretly hides, and Mirabel, just for a moment, faced with Isabela-the-mirror-of-Abuela, the misplaced echo of everything she hated about the family, was exactly as ruthless and uncaring in trying to do what the magic wanted, regardless of Isabela’s feelings, as Alma has always been. But Mirabel overcomes it, and in doing so, and in the following fight, Mirabel shows Alma both what was wrong, and also how to fix it. Embrace your spiky family who can’t be what you want but love you anyway. Love them back, let them be themselves, and work from there.

And, I mean, there’s more to it than that, the hug also happened because Isabela, in that moment, when she let go of the terror and need for perfection, realised that Mirabel was awesome despite not being anything she or the family thought they wanted, that embracing Mirabel’s imperfection could also mean embracing her own, and even enjoying it. Together, as sisters. And that’s a mirror of Alma too, showing her how accepting Mirabel and Bruno and all her more-than-slightly broken family for who they were could also mean accepting herself, and her own mistakes, for what they were, and allowing everyone to heal from them. Letting go of the need for perfection let her realise that she, as much as anyone, had never been perfect, and that she’d hurt them by trying to be. There’s no point breaking yourself and everyone around you trying to be worthy of something that was given freely. Pedro gave his life freely. Alma can give her love freely. Her family doesn’t, and shouldn’t, have to earn it. And neither should she. He didn’t make his sacrifice so she’d be perfect. He made it so she, and their children, would be happy. And, you know, alive.

There’s also a link to Luisa as well, her and Mirabel and Alma are all obsessed and stressed and pressured by the need to protect the family too. Alma’s desperation to protect them as she couldn’t protect Pedro is echoed by Luisa’s desperation to protect them just because she’s strong and she can, but Luisa doesn’t know as viscerally what she needs to protect them from, because she never saw it herself. She just knows and fears that there’s something, some formless danger that’s lying in wait.

Alma bled down through all of them so much, but they never realised it, because she never explained why. Until it broke, and she had to, and she finally saw that all she’d been doing was replicating her own wounds on them, with none of them ever knowing why. But now she … now it’s already broken, except it isn’t, nowhere near as much as she feared, and she still has her family, and they can figure out how to grow around the fear now. The imperfections, her imperfections, didn’t kill them (they hadn’t killed Pedro either), even if they did badly damage them, and she finally has her second chance to help her family.

Sometimes you just need a spiky cactus to show you what you really are inside, is my point here, and accepting said spiky cactus helps you figure out how to grow around it. Mirabel, being Mirabel, is great at being other people’s spiky cactus, but she needed her family to be hers too, for her to realise that it was broken all the way up, and needed fixing from the ground up. She needed to realise that Isabela wasn’t just a perfect enviable figure, that Alma wasn’t just a rigid old bitch, that she herself wasn’t as innocent as she hoped. They all needed help, and they all needed work.

(Some sidenotes, since apparently I’m rambling much more than I planned to anyway: Bruno is heart-breaking and adorable, Dolores is heart-breaking and adorable, both moms have excellent taste in men, Luisa needs so much help and protection and I love her, Camilo is a little shit but he’s also fantastic, and Antonio is way too smooth for a five-year-old, what the hell? Also, it’s kind of interesting how all Pepa and Felix’s children have perfect spying/infiltration gifts? Shapeshifter, superhearing, ability to spy/gossip through animals? What’s up with that? Like if you need something done, go to Julietta’s kids, if you need to know something, go to Pepa’s? Though, to be fair, Camilo was exactly as ready to brave a collapsing house as Isabela was, so getting-shit-done could be a general Madrigal thing. Also, credit to Agustin for being ride-or-die for his kids from the get-go. He and Pedro would have gotten on great if they’d been able to meet. I mean, all of them would. Same with Felix.

Also, I love how Agustin glomped Bruno as well as soon as he showed up. And I love how Pepa, who’s spent years since Bruno disappeared badmouthing him and clinging to her grudges, is the first person to tackle-glomp him the moment he shows up. I sort of wonder if she wanted him to have been ‘bad’ so she wouldn’t have to feel grief that he left? Not that that, you know, necessarily makes it better than he’s spent ten years listening to her badmouthing him around the whole goddamn town, but like I said. Everyone in this family needs some work. Heh)

I enjoyed this movie a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Heh.

#encanto #meta #reaction #spoilers #mirabel madrigal #isabela madrigal #alma madrigal #luisa madrigal #madrigal family

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themurphyzone · 3 years

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PatB: Beauty and the Beast AU

This is based off the animated movie because frankly I don’t like the live action remake (what did they do to Beast? He’s just a hairy human with horns in the live action film).

Cause c’mon if we’re doing Disney AUs y’all knew this movie would crop up eventually. Also consider this is a test post and not all details will be ironed out from the start.

Characters

Belle: Pinky

Beast: Brain

Gaston: Snowball

Lefou: I don’t think he’s necessary but either Larry or Egwind could probably fill in.

Maurice: Pinky’s dad.

Enchantress: Undecided. CEO Norita or Minerva Mink maybe?

Philippe: Pharfignewton

Main Trio of Servants: Yakko (candelabra), Wakko (clock), Dot (teacup)

Other Animaniacs characters as servants or villagers as needed. Rita the Cat is a harp and the main singer for the big ballroom dance. Runt is a footstool.

Prologue

1. Brain and Snowball have history. They grew up in a castle together, but Snowball craved more power and after a very harsh argument with Brain, he left the castle to make his own way into the world. Snowball’s betrayal stung Brain deeply, and Brain became angrier and unhappy and tries to assert more control over the castle while trying to keep his pride and dignity intact.

2. A few weeks after Snowball’s betrayal on a harsh winter’s night, Brain loses his temper on a traveler wanting shelter from the cold, and he and the entire castle are cursed as a result. He’s given the rose and mirror and told that he needs to find love in 2 years or be cursed for all time. Brain feels horribly guilty for dragging the servants into his mess but doesn’t know how to admit it.

2 Years Later

1. Pinky’s lived in a quiet village his entire life. His dad is an extremely amateur inventor (he doesn’t really have any concept of the scientific process and operates on a ‘does it work or does it explode’ basis). Pinky likes to go horseback riding with Pharfignewton in his spare time and often wishes to know what’s beyond the village, but his dad needs him.

2. Since leaving the castle, Snowball settled into Pinky’s village and quickly became the leader, using his status as a way to garner wealth and easily impressionable followers before setting his sights on other kingdoms. There’s quite a few statues built in his honor around town. Since Pinky is often lost in his own little world at times, he doesn’t admire Snowball the way the others do. Snowball is intrigued by Pinky’s resistance.

3. Pinky’s dad takes Pharfig and his invention to the fair, gets lost, winds up at the castle. He meets the Warner siblings, who entertain their guest until Brain shows up, enraged by the blatant trespassing and belief that he’d come to steal his servants. Brain locks him in a cell until he can properly work out a way to keep the mouse from revealing what he’d seen.

4. Snowball makes an advance on Pinky. Pinky goes out to the field to think for a while after successfully tossing Snowball out of the house, and Pharfig comes back in a panic, without his dad or the cart. Pharfig takes Pinky to the castle, where Pinky discovers his dad being held in a cell. Brain gets mad at the trespassing again, but it quickly melts into confusion when Pinky offers to take his dad’s place as prisoner. Brain takes the deal, but he doesn’t let Pinky say goodbye to his dad as he’s dragged out of the castle and Pinky is left to cry.

5. Rest of the interactions between Pinky and Brain pre-wolf attack play out similarly to the movie (personally I don’t think Brain would let Pinky starve though). Yakko when Brain almost breaks the door to get Pinky to come out of his room: “Look, I can barely string two words together around girls but even I know that you shouldn’t break down people’s doors.”

Dot: “YOU SET FIRE TO MY DOOR LAST WEEK.”

6. The Warner sibs fully realize the irony of them trying to help someone behave enough for the curse to break and decide to go apologize to Dr. Scratchy...later.

7. Pinky can carry Brain even though Brain is much bigger than him (also I imagine Brain as a beast is more rat-sized in this AU so by mouse standards he’d be big but he has to be small enough so the ballroom scene can work). He yeeted Brain into a snowbank once and destroyed him in a snowball fight.

8. Yakko is the big Shakespeare reader of the group and puts on reenactments for their entertainment.

9. Brain has a lab in the castle where he likes to experiment with scrap parts of machinery, but his larger paws make it difficult for him to handle anything with finesse, causing a huge amount of frustration.

10. Dot is the MVP again. Brain shouldn’t take romantic advice from Yakko and Wakko.

11. There’s an enormous field behind the castle which was used for horseback riding between royals before the curse. Brain gifts the entire thing to Pinky on Dot’s advice and Pinky adores it to pieces.

12. Dot helped Pinky with his pretty golden dress before the dance. Yakko and Wakko help Brain with the formal clothing, but have to call in Dot for fixing the fur around his face to something that wouldn’t damage Brain’s pride.

13. “Because I love him” after Brain releases Pinky so he can take his ailing father home is a huge step for Brain, but its not enough to break the curse. They wait for the last petal to fall, and Yakko panics because he can’t find Dot anywhere. Unknown to him, Dot left the castle with Pinky. Brain goes completely numb and can only stare out a window in despair.

13. Snowball threatens to have Pinky’s dad brought to a lab where he’ll be experimented on if Pinky doesn’t agree to marriage. Pinky claims he was at a castle and shows the mirror for proof, then admits that he befriended the Beast shown in it. Snowball instantly recognizes who it is, and realizes how he can hurt Brain all over again: by taking Pinky for himself. Pinky and his dad are locked in a cellar as Snowball gathers a mob to go kill Brain and claim the castle for himself. Dot and Pharfignewton save them, and they go rushing off to the castle to warn of the attack.

14. The servants defend the castle. Snowball escapes the chaos and goes to hunt down Brain himself. Brain doesn’t fight back, and Snowball taunts him about loving Pinky. Before Snowball can kill him, Brain hears Pinky’s voice calling out a warning and he regains the will to fight back. Dot reunites with her brothers and together they fend off the remaining villagers.

15. Snowball and Brain fight on the rooftop. Brain almost kills Snowball, but shows mercy and tells him to leave instead. As Pinky and Brain reunite, Snowball fatally stabs Brain, but loses his balance in the process and falls to his death.

16. Death, Pinky’s love confession, and transformation scene. Everyone lives happily after ever. Except Snowball. Who’s dead.

Bonus:

Brain during the group hug after the transformation: “Wait, how come everyone’s taller than me now?”

#pinky and the brain #beauty and the beast au #i'd write this but again: too many things in the works right now

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dipperdogrpg · 3 years

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Cloud and Aerith theories/facts and not canon pairing essay

Ended up writing way more then intended lol and thought to share what’s happening in the FF7 story between Cloud and Aerith. This is a response text I did on my youtube channel where I do commentary as a Cloti supporter. Instead I decided to move it here.

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Wahh lol I got carried away! I enjoyed but also felt bad for Cloud having to dance at the Honey Bee thanks to Aerith and her plans. Gosh darn it though Cloud dancing was great and I squealed along with Aerith, but a tinge of guilt hits when I see his troubled face haha. The thing people confuses here is that Cloud pushes himself to do it for Tifa because he was ready to walk away. Instead of busting through the mansion he sucked it up to ensure Tifa’s safety and chose to sneak inside as a woman.

Yes, I’m also very curious how Sephiroth's schemes will develop and how Aerith will try to stop him in Remake. She's much more focused on Sephiroth and stopping him compared in OG. In the other game Aerith originally joined to understand her Cetra abilities, but it feels pretty evident she has new mysterious powers as a Cetra in Remake and her relationship with Sephiroth is more personal. Also, I think Sephiroth and Aerith’s ancestry will have a bigger role and focus on Jenova and the Cetra's relationship/History. I plan to do an Aerith Theory and a character analysis in the future because she is, as the developers describe her, mysterious.

It's obvious Sephiroth is harassing Cloud mentally then later physically through his clones. He is scheming something big and I look forward how Aerith will try to counter it because she is probably the only one capable to do it as a Cetra. One of the big schemes was removing the Arbiters of fate, but I think they both wanted that. Both Sephiroth and Aerith want to change something that doesn’t fit with the planet’s “destined” agenda.

In Max's commentary he mentioned Sephiroth was intentional with stalling Cloud running into Aerith, which caused a butterfly effect to ruin the events the planet has planned. While it tries to fix itself, the party are becoming aware of the Arbiters of Fate existence and sees it as a problem. At the end the team removes it when Sephiroth had some control in manipulating it. Its been mentioned the three figures you fight are a representation of the three sephiroth remnants from AC, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo. So maybe we are getting hints of Sephiroth's abilities with the clones and the lifestream which could lead to some complicated trouble. We also get evidence Aerith is already more powerful than her Og counterpart by creating the portal to fight the Arbitors. When the heck did she learn that?

My theory about removing the arbitors of fate are so the creators can have wiggle room for slight variation in scenes they've considered fixing in the past to improve a more consistent story and of course a new way for Sephiroth to exercise his goal along with Aerith because definitely getting hints those two know more then they should. My theory, they are from the future and traveled to the past using the Life stream and I’m using the OTWTS Novel as evidence when Aerith and Sephiroth talk about their time in the Life Stream. In there they gained new powers. Evidence- Sephiroth talks about it at the temple of ancients and that he gained new knowledge from there, so why not Aerith too. Either way the party will stop him at the end with Aerith's help because her role in the story is to save the world while Tifa's role is to save Cloud. That is a canon statement by one of the developers btw. Aerith and Tifa have their roles to play in FF7 that lead to its success.

Fun fact, but Cloud is not himself with Aerith. The developers did say Cloud truly is himself with Tifa. Why? because love. Now, the cool thing in Remake we are witnessing is Cloud learning how to make friends. A poor social skill set that may have contributed with his insecurity when he was a child. Wanting to join tifa and her friends but instead stayed away. To make himself feel better he makes up a story that he chose not to play with the other kids because he is special. In FF7 we get to witness Cloud learning these relationship skills, which helps develop his character to grow up until we get to the Lifestream sequence. It's after that he can stop pretending to be what he think is the ideal cool grown up version of himself and instead work on his real self with the new bonds of friendship he made who stuck around Cloud regardless of him pretending to act as someone else during their adventure. Cloud is still Cloud. Even with the messed up memories he had. He is not Zack. He is like a little boy picking up traits he likes from other people and mimic them. Very confused why people think he is Zack. He’s not. He is Cloud trying to be cool and does it poorly. That’s a canon thing.

Soldier Cloud is a facade, an illusion of himself he truly believed in until he sorted out his memories and realized "oh I'm not being myself and just mimicking what would Zack do. A friend I look up to" It's been pointed out Cloud isn't actually grown up mentally and is still a child with insecurity about himself along with 5 years of trauma thanks to Hojo. Poor BABY! This whole copy/mimic theme gets reflected with the kids in sector 8 that mimic Cloud in remake over time during the side quests. Cloud is doing the same thing with Zack. Even Biggs hints that Cloud and the kids have a lot in common. I'm not crazy about Sector 8 but it shows best what Biggs told Cloud before the plate falls. And one more thing I want to add lol. When Cloud gets his red drink from Tifa there's a pause of him looking up and down at the drink and Tifa, before he says beautiful. That moment of pause he thinks to himself what he should do here and then came up with what he believes a confident person/Zack would do. Zack doesn't hesitate when giving a compliment. Confident people don't normally hesitate when they talk. It's why we get moments of Cloud saying some awkward lines when he doesn't give himself time to think and its one of the best moments to watch lol cuz I think that's when real cloud slips out trying to act cool or is at a lost for words. It's canon by the developers that Cloud isn't cool but tries to act it.

Another Fun fact. Most party members and NPCs in Remake mention and hint in game they see past the facade Cloud puts up. Tifa, Barret, Wedge, Biggs, Marle, Jessie and Aerith are some of the characters that see past it and either go along with it, poke fun at his attempt or tell him to his face they know he's pretending to be someone he's not. Basically seeing past the character he pretends to be and can see he has a good heart over the course they spend time with him. Even though Cloud tries to convince others and himself he could care less about them and is only in it for the money.

Now OG is really awkward with the romance honestly from my playthroughs so far. (Follow me on Youtube Dipperdog15 if you want to catch my FF7 commentary when I go live playing OG and Intergrade.) But with Remake it's very clear they are building up Aerith's love story with Zack so we can cry hard later. All of Zack scenes so far is related to Aerith. In Remake and OG Aerith display some of Zack's mannerisms too because people copy/mimic what they do to feel closer to them when in love. She continues to wear the bow Zack gave her and the pink dress in memory of Zack. She's said "gotta move forward not back" in remake and/or that Zack probably moved on with another girl in Og but what if what she said is a lie. We have Cloud as the unreliable narrator so why can't it also happen with Aerith who is likely lying to convince herself to move on to protect her heart. In fact a lot of characters in FF7 lie to themselves and we get character development when they stop and face the truth. It's one of the many themes in FF7 which I think I’ll deep dive into on my podcast channel in the future.

Another thing to keep in mind is that Zack is risking it all to make it to Midgar to see Aerith while risking Cloud's life on this mission, because he promised her. Promise is a big important theme in FF7. Cloud and Tifa are the canon couple and Zack and Aerith are the canon couple in FF7 because these pairings promised each other. I won't disagree about Cloud not caring about Aerith, but he cares for all his friends as said in AC. Also why make it possible the idea to bring Zack back? To create a love square? No. It’s have us the players focus instead the reunion of Aerith and Zack. That’s more attention grabbing because we never got to see it before and I’ll cry when they cry finally getting to be together. If they don’t I’ll cry some more. The developers are pushing for Zerith and their development in Remake/Intergrade.

Another thing to notice, there are a lot of similarities between Jessie and Aerith's relationship when they are around Cloud. This directive choice, I believe, isn't a coincidence in order to water down scenes that are suppose to be special. It is instead not a “one of kind’ scene. They both get carried bridal style. They both tell cloud My Hero. They both invited Cloud over for dinner. They both ask about who Tifa is. They both got a pikachu face from Cloud when jessie optionally kissed Cloud on the cheek and Aerith wearing the optional red dress. They both have strong personalities that overwhelms Cloud and that is a developer canon statement. They both worked hard to befriend Cloud so he can open up and be nicer to them. Cloud treats them both the same.

Aerith’s relationship with Cloud in Remake is directing us to friendship. In the novel it mentioned she loves Cloud, in what way we don’t know. But we can say for a fact Cloud was living a lie in OG and his real self loves Tifa. In fact his other self loved Tifa too, you just have to catch the moment. Example, Barret teasing Cloud if he is eager to see his baby when you first see Tifa in OG. It happens when you run to the bar, but only if you catch Tifa on the porch before she goes inside. That’s means in both remake and OG, Barret knew something was up with those two. Another moment is the interest Cloud has with what Tifa almost said in the gondola. It was obviously sounding like some kind of confession from Tifa at Gold Saucer. When you get this date the story is more fluid when you arrive at the northern crater and Cloud says “only your opinion matters” to Tifa. Huge RED FLAG Cloud considers Tifa important to him. Meanwhile Aerith and Cloud’s relationship was open for interpretation that it may have been love in OG, but the scenes that helped implied it were removed in Remake. The point system was just for fun because it was a popular thing in the 90s. Plus the points for Tifa, Aerith, Barret and Yuffie’s are their feelings for Cloud not Cloud’s feelings towards them. Then you get rewarded learning a little about the character, but that’s it. FF7 remake/intergrade is not an otome game. Cloud ends with Tifa no matter what. Even if Aerith was to stay alive the Life Stream sequence will always be Cloud and Tifa’s moment to learn about their feelings for each other. The developers have said it is one of their favorite scenes, so they won’t change it. ok now back to Remake.

Aerith in her resolution tells him not to love her and it’s not real. A deliberate choice of words I think she picked to shoo away the thought they could be a thing for both their sakes and us the players lol. Doing that made it weird now because Cloud doesn’t want to ruin what ever progress he has with Tifa in Remake. Plus Cloud only known her for a few days and if his actions are making her think there’s this growing romance between them he’s not going to encourage it. Those lines raised his awareness to watch himself I bet, so Tifa doesn’t get the wrong idea and you can see the distance he put between himself and Aerith later in game. Meanwhile in Intermission we see Cloud continues to make quick glances at Tifa whenever he can. We get it Cloud. You can’t keep your eyes off her. Ok getting off track. So Cloud and Aerith are instead just friends. Doing this allows Tifa to pick up the role to be there for Aerith. Which will help develop their friendship to be stronger as the two girls encourage each other. because I didn’t pick up on the two being best friends in OG but in Remake it’s very clear. He already looked uncomfortable when Aerith grabbed his arm back at the ghost station in front of Tifa. To include Cloud with this idea of him falling in love with another woman in front of Tifa would leave a poor taste in our mouths after spending several hours watching him develop several intimate moments with Tifa. That freaking hug scene and train roll you guys screamed sexual tension and love. Cloud is not that kind of guy who easily falls in love. His whole hero’s journey is because of Tifa and he makes sure to be nice to her while trying to get her attention. With anyone else he is quite hostile with new people and slowly learns to tolerate them before liking them. Cloud treats Tifa differently in a special way. He’s been pinning for Tifa since they were kids and even imagined scenarios of Tifa noticing him. That’s right, not all of Cloud’s visions may be accurate. We may see more scenes of kid Cloud imagining moments with Tifa to confuse our perspective they are childhood friends. Again, Cloud is the unreliable narrator thanks to Jenova and 5 years of trauma. Now back to Aerith. Their relationship definitely felt different when Cloud, Tifa and Barret rescued Aerith. In fact Aerith’s relationship with everyone is different in a better way. The relationship between Tifa and Barret are better fleshed out compared to OG Aerith and I’m for it. Very happy they removed the jail scene. It was upsetting watching Aerith flirt with Cloud while Tifa was stuck in the cell forced to listen and Aerith owing Cloud a date. Which changed also in Remake. Taking Aerith home and spending time her was the date as mentioned in game by Aerith herself.

When I play through Chapter 8 and 9 I get this feeling Meta Aerith looks uncomfortable sticking to the OG lines of herself but does it anyways so the Arbiters of fate won’t come for her because she wants to hold on to her memories. Something she believes can help her friends I’m guessing. This is if my theory is right lol. What we have now is an Aerith that’s more mysterious than she was in OG. If this is OG Aerith making a return in Remake then I believe she was acting a lot, but then we see hiccups of her mentioning Cloud being a mercenary when he never mentioned it or acting like she knows Tifa for like forever before she actually met her in Remake. And then there was her knowing the plate would fall in sector 7. I’m betting the burden of knowing it was so hard to hide that Tifa picked up that she might be hiding something.

We are near the end!

Aerith’s resolution explored further. The resolution helps proves my theory this is OG Aerith that travel back to the past using the Lifestream to help her comrades in the fight against Sephiroth in Remake who also returned to the past. What’s also interesting about her resolution are the things she said are something you want to tell someone before you disappear. It was so sudden in OG that it sounds like Aerith wants to make up for it and also doesn’t want Cloud to suffer in guilt as he did in AC. Cherish the moment. Every one dies.

Aerith knows the truth with Cloud and Tifa’s relationship hence her stopping herself interfering. Now maybe Aerith did fall in love with Cloud, and maybe while Cloud pretended to be someone else was loving the idea, which is a stretch cuz there are plenty debunking the idea which I can go over later. They both may have been using each other to fill the hurt in their heart not having their true loves instead. Zack and Tifa. In her resolution, Aerith has declared she will not pursue Cloud as she did in OG and we have evidence of that when they rescue her. there were so many opportunities for Cloud to be Aerith’s hero. Instead those moments were replaced with Tifa consoling her and rescuing her.

The Arbitors of Fate are gone, so I believe Aerith’s normal clips of her flirting with Cloud will get removed or changed as many have already. This allows the directors to remove lines that painted Aerith poorly some moments and better her relationship with the team too. Aerith will still have flaws like everyone does. No one is perfect and I’m perfectly fine with that.

Crap if I keep going this will turn into a podcast in writing I think lol. Anywho, yes the arbiters of fate were eliminated, who knows if it's permanent, but as the developers have repeated, FF7 story will remain the same at heart. Iconic moments will remain. If it is not then that's a risky move to say to fans. Aerith will die to protect her loved ones and the planet and will reunite at the church in spirit with Zack perhaps. She can’t escape her role as the last living Cetra. That is her truth which she denied when she was little as shown in a flashback with kid Aerith. The other theme in FF7 is trying to move forward after a loss. Which extends to Advent Children which some of the team members has to deal with survival guilt. Some fans are getting their hopes up that Aerith will live. The developers are using Biggs and Jessie’s possible surviving scenes to prove lives lost can live in Remake. I think they may die later though if that is their fate, but we never actually saw them die in OG either. It was just implied. This is a set up so Aerith’s death scene can be impactful again in Remake, so we can cry again.

This was a lot and little bit everywhere, but I hope you enjoyed it. You can follow me on youtube in the link below where I invite other FF7 fans to talk about the story and Cloud and Tifa’s relationship Or me doing my own Cloud and Tifa commentary and Remake talk while I play the game. Thanks for reading! Hope you check out my channel and sub to check out my videos when convenient for you. Thank you!

https://www.youtube.com/c/Dipperdog15/featured

#cloti #FF7 Remake #ff7 #cloud strife #final fantasy vii #Final Fantasy 7

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asphyxiateher · 3 years

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Only Monsters Come Out at Night *Chapter 8 Update*

Summary: Desdemona has a nightmare that sends her spiraling into the arms of her beloved mistresses but when she's turned away, she realizes that nightmare was a warning of what was to come. An unexpected family reunion finally makes Desdemona beg for death. A/N: Thank you to everyone who stuck it out with this story this far; I know the last chapter wasn't too exciting but as I played the Resident Evil remake on my switch, I was inspired to drum up a little more excitement with this chapter and the next few chapters to come, which will be the last!

There’s a long, dark corridor that is accompanied by the acquainted sound of silence outside of Desdemona’s door and the darkness seeping into the room is becoming too much to bear. It feels like she is dreaming but these days, her nightmares and her reality have blended in so well together that it’s become nearly indistinguishable to tell apart what’s actually happening to what she could be imagining. It’s terrifying. She shouldn’t have become accustomed to what she’s gotten comfortable around lately, especially with everything that’s happened ever since she had been taken to Lady Alcina’s castle. Desdemona feels the familiar hunger for company creep up on her as she sits against the wall on her bed with her legs crossed, a journal and pen in hand. Loneliness was something she was used to, something she begged for when socializing drained her of her energy but now it was like a stranger to her. She no longer liked the idea of being alone in this gigantic castle that was made for its vampiric inhabitants and the monstrosities that lingered every which way. The connection she unintentionally formed with Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela and was ultimately made stronger through their unusual ways of showing affection is suddenly severed and she can no longer sense them nearby. This was very troubling. Although she wasn’t feeling very well, a wave of nausea causing her to lose consciousness earlier, Desdemona summoned the strength to get out of bed. This desire to be around the wretched creatures that ruined her life both shocked and comforted her, the inner conflicting thoughts in her mind constantly pulling her in one direction over the other was exhausting but rationality had no place in House Dimitrescu. Her hands shook violently as she reached for the doorknob, her knees nearly going out when she dared to take a few cautious steps outside of her room. The grand designs of the castle were dulled by the strangeness of the dim lighting of every room. This was very unusual, what was going on? Beneath her, she could hear one of the sisters scream in agony while Lady Dimitrescu rages about the deaths of her daughters. No. It couldn’t be. They couldn’t be dead, she felt them nearby just a few minutes ago! How could this be possible? Panicking at the idea of losing her mistresses, Desdemona rushes down the polished stairwells of the castle. She can’t sense them, hear them, or feel them through their bond and her heart aches at the idea of having to go on without them. When she finally reaches the ground level, she finds Alcina looming over the corpse of an unknown intruder. Desdemona has always been afraid of Lady Dimitrescu, but for some unknown reason, she felt compelled to comfort her despite not knowing what was going on. She carefully approaches the statuesque woman and gently tugs at her sleeve, and when Alcina turns around and looks down at Desdemona, she gives out a sigh of relief. “Oh, it’s you darling! This night has been dreadful, and I’m not certain at how you’ll take the news but let me assure you that I am so glad to see that at least you weren’t harmed in all of this. Let me show you who was responsible for the deaths of my daughters; together, you and I shall take vengeance against the human organization that was responsible for this.” Alcina declares as she wraps an arm around Desdemona, pulling her closer before turning her around to examine the corpse at their feet. Desdemona’s jaw drops at the sight of her own body laying on the floor nearly intact. Her skin was nearly flawless, save for the deep wounds inflicted upon her by Alcina. She lay there dead before her very eyes, her lifeless gray eyes reflecting a dark creature she could not recognize. Startled, Desdemona turns on her heel to find a mirror, and when she finds the nearest restroom, her hands grip the sink in front of her. She cannot recognize what she’s staring at but she knows it’s her reflection, just not what she expected at all. Instead of beautifully long flowing dark brown hair, she sees a matted mess of dark hair tangled in some sort of wild updo, cold, glowing yellow eyes and when she opens her mouth to scream at the sight, she coughs up blood. She goes into a brief coughing fit, and eventually she begins to throw up, but what comes out of her isn’t bile. Oh no, she threw up a sticky ball of insects and maggots glued to each other, the creatures clinging to each other in their frenzied movements. The sight alone is enough to wake Desdemona from her slumber. Desdemona wakes in a cold sweat, her heart hammering at the implications of what she’s become so she quickly examines herself. She runs to the nearest full body length mirror and she’s relieved that she sees herself in her nearly natural state. Bedraggled dark brown hair, terrified gray eyes and the occasional love bite and bruise left behind by the mistresses she’s bonded to. Her skin, while still tawny-brown, was starting to gray out but for the most part, she still seemed normal. What caught her attention in that moment, however, was the sound of Daniela’s laughter coming from downstairs in the dining room. Any logic and rational thought once again flees her mind as she’s comforted by the fact that her mistresses were still alive and well. That’s all that mattered to her and so she rushes out of her room to interrupt the important meeting that Bela had warned her not to interrupt. She didn’t care, she just needed to know that they were safe and sound. Without dressing up like she’s supposed to when she wanders around the castle unsupervised, she glides down the railing of the grand staircase as she follows the sound of a private conversation being had. Desdemona bursts into the living area, her heart rate picking up at the sight of Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela all casually enjoying their special blend of blood wine with a guest she wasn’t familiar with. Bela is caught off guard at the sight of Desdemona waltzing into the meeting in a revealing nightgown but is even more thrown when the smaller girl practically lunges at her and wraps her arms around her. Cassandra looks a little miffed that Desdemona decided to greet her sister first but then she sees how quickly Bela is becoming agitated with the intrusion so she steps in and tries to peel Desdemona off of her. “Oh thank god you’re alright! I had the worst nightmare that you all were killed and there was nothing I could do about it -,” Desdemona begins but is quickly shushed when a hard slap to the face reminds her that they were not alone. “Desdemona, what the hell are you talking about? Of course we’re alright but what on earth are you doing here? I instructed you to stay in your room and mind your business, did I not?” Bela asks angrily as she shoves Desdemona away from her. Cassandra steadies her and throws her sister a knowing look, nodding off to the side as if to remind her that they were in the company of Donna Beneviento. Daniela merely looks amused and continues talking to Donna and Angie as if nothing unusual was happening. It was then that Desdemona realizes that they were indeed in the middle of an important conversation with the lord Bela wished to make a partner out of in either ousting Mother Miranda or finally bringing her a suitable host to revive her daughter. Desdemona looks ashamed and stares at her clenched fists, biting her tongue as Bela continues to give her a tongue lashing. “Look at you wandering around House Dimitrescu looking like a common whore without any dignity. I could have sworn my mother and I taught you better than this but nevertheless, you owe the lovely Donna Beneviento an apology. Once this meeting is over, we will go over what is distressing you. None of your concerns are more important than what is currently being discussed, I’m sorry to say.” Bela admonishes Desdemona before she turns to offer Donna a sincere apology. Donna, on the other hand, wasn’t interested in what Bela had to say as she observed the human standing quietly before her. It was a fascinating scene unfolding before her very eyes. “Oh ho ho, look at the poor girl, she’s ready to cry. What happened, Bela? Is she no longer your favorite?” Angie, the doll, said out loud as she giggled. “Lovers tend to have spats, but you wouldn’t know much about that, would you?” Bela growls, looking as though she were ready to strangle both the doll and the ventriloquist. Donna scoffs, shaking her head before settling on an equally irritating comment. “You mistreat your toys, they’re more than welcome to stay home with me and keep me company. I can promise you I’m more pleasant than your mistresses.” Donna replies quietly, her face hidden behind her veil but even Desdemona could hear the smugness in her tone. This time, Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela pitch a fuss over the unnecessary comment and find themselves squabbling over a silly matter. Angie, the doll, is delighted and laughs maniacally when the sisters begin to fight with one another. Donna was clearly amused but said nothing as she continued to watch Desdemona fret over her actions in the background. Desdemona begins to shut out the banter as the remnants of her decaying mind makes its final stand in her mind. ‘Get out…while you still can…the opportunity won’t come again. They’re distracted, their mother is away…you can go home. Get help…please leave…please do it. For your sake, for Desmond’s sake, and for Veronica’s. Run away…while you still can.’ Desdemona blinks, her rational state of mind completely taking over for a moment before it slips into nothingness again. She turns to find the doll named, Angie, staring up at her while the ventriloquist responsible for the trickery, observes her from afar. Desdemona used to be frightened of dolls, especially of the porcelain collection her mother obtained from her grandmother but when she gives Angie a once-over, she finds that she isn’t crept out at all by the appearance of the doll but is comforted by both her and Donna’s presence. It was strange but with her life constantly taking a turn for the worse every other second of her life, she supposes she shouldn’t be surprised she’s taking a liking to the friends of her mistresses as well. “I apologize for the intrusion. I had a nightmare that I’ll eventually recover from, but I hope my childish antics didn’t embarrass you further, Bela. I’ll take my leave and I won’t bother you again.” Desdemona finally says almost robotically as she makes her way back to castle entrance. She’s ready to go back to her room when something terrifying happens. Her eardrums suddenly pop, an incessant buzzing sound following the sound of brief ringing. Desdemona cannot hear anyone or anything so when she looks up to see the mouths of Cassandra and Daniela moving as if they were speaking to her, she confirms the temporary loss of hearing. Panic grips her, her anxiety on the rise when the others notice the drastic change in behavior. She starts to scream when she feels her brain begin to throb in pain, as if a knife were slowly dividing her brain in half and it sends Desdemona running. She’s gripping her head as she runs into walls, end tables, statues, and portraits; nothing seems to stop her even though she has no idea where she’s going or how she’s even leading herself anywhere with the immense amount of pain she’s in. She still hears that incessant buzzing noise in her head and it’s driving her crazy. She can’t hear the girls call out to her in worry. The only thing that she can hear is the sound of something buzzing around inside of her. She remembers that Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra are not immune to the cold air during the winter and if this is the same bug that they seem to be made out of, maybe some fresh air will do her some good and kill whatever it is that’s inside of her. She thinks it’s a great idea; her mistresses, once they see her heading outside towards the gardens and vineyard, think otherwise. “Desdemona, no, don’t do this! Don’t go where we cannot follow, please!” Cassandra cries out to her, unable to go past the point of no return. The fresh, wintry cold air brings immediate relief to Desdemona as she pushes past the doors that led to Lady Dimitrescu’s enormous vineyard. Her ears pop again, the sound of the girls screaming for her to return to the castle can finally be heard and Desdemona feels good again. She chuckles to herself, thinking she overdramatized her pain but what she had just gone through was something she had never experienced prior. It was incredibly painful and there was no other way to describe it other than it felt like her brain was melting out of nowhere, the left and right side of her brain being divided by a painful knife. She thought she was going to die. When she glances up from where she had been doubled over in pain, she finds herself wishing that she did die from whatever kind of attack that was. Yes, she’s staring a Alcina’s glorious, infamous vineyard sprawled out beautifully before her and covered in snow but what she sees staring back at her from not so far away is an eerily familiar scarecrow. Desdemona hears that incessant buzzing noise in her head again as she slowly approaches the scarecrow, her breath growing heavy. Her eyes widen in complete shock when she recognizes the clothes that the scarecrow is wearing, but it isn’t just what it’s wearing that appalls Desdemona, it’s who it is. It was Desmond. They never told Desdemona what they did with his remains. Sure, they might have mentioned drinking his blood and devouring some of his flesh but that wasn’t the case at all. Here he was, skin stitched together and his beautiful curly hair clumped on top of what has to be his skull living in the afterlife as a scarecrow. They hollowed him out, dumping out his insides completely and disposing that mess in a way Desdemona no longer wanted to think about and turned him into this! Tears prickling in her eyes, a whole new fresh wave of pain consumes her entire being. She drops down to her knees again, feeling completely defeated as she takes in the immaculate detailing of how they put his flesh back together to make this monstrosity. The only thing that was missing was his eyes; otherwise, she was looking directly at her twin reincarnated. Her fingernails are beginning to frost over, the stinging cold making her feel as if she were dipped in a frozen pond and pulled back out again. None of that mattered to her. Her heart rate was beginning to slow down, the buzzing in her head growing more and more frantic but she can’t tear her eyes away from her dead twin. Her body can no longer tolerate the cold that it used to and the longer she stayed outside, she knew her body would begin to shut down. Maybe this was finally it for Desdemona, maybe this is the way she wanted to go out and reunite with her loved ones again. She just wanted it all to end because her life no longer mattered. She sees a rather large shadow approach her from behind and she knew that it was too good to be true. She was so close yet death would continue to evade her. She struggles to turn her head, the ice buildup on her skin making it difficult to do so and finds a very displeased Alcina Dimitrescu staring down at her. “Looks like I’ll have to take matters into my own hands and speed up your transformation, little one. Miranda is eager to find out if you’ll do or not.” With that said, Alcina raises her hand and long, sharp claws begin to form. Desdemona closes her eyes as she braces herself for death and when she feels something sharp puncture her chest, she blacks out completely.

#resident evil village #resident evil 8 #RE Village #RE8 #mine #only monsters come out at night #chapter update #chapter 8 #Lady Dimitrescu's daughters x ofc #bela dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu x ofc #cassandra dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu x ofc #daniela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu x ofc #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #donna beneviento #angie the doll

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freddyfreebat · 4 years

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Introducing the cast of Luca Guadagnino’s We Are Who We Are

article taken from The Face volume 4 issue 004

We Are Who We Are follows a group of kids growing up on an Italian army base. The début TV series by Call Me By Your Name director Luca Guadagnino is a show unlike any you’ve seen before: a teenage snapshot of fucking and fighting, with all the internal tugs of war that make us who we are. Meet the cast, before the whole world falls for them.

Around 2013, film director Luca Guadagnino met the actor Amy Adams to discuss working together on one of the dozens of projects the director had in the incubator. Adams happened to mention that she’d grown up on a US military base in Vicenza, Italy, which sowed the seed in his mind of telling the story of a micro-America – a petri dish of patriotism – hidden in plain sight in his native country.

WRWWR is the result – a drone’s‑eye view of American culture which follows six kids and their families living and working on an army base. As their parents (two of whom are played by Chloë Sevigny and Kid Cudi) wade through their own problems, the kids are cut loose to grow up. They straddle a culture that isn’t their own, eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the mess hall while surrounded by some of the world’s best food. They fuck, they sing, they splash one another at the beach and in pools, edging ever closer to discovering who they truly are.

The concept of coming-of-age is one Guadagnino has explored in his films Call Me By Your Name and his remake of Suspiria, but he didn’t just want to tell a story about youth for youth’s sake. It made more sense to place his first HBO series against a backdrop of political turmoil, so he set it during the 2016 US presidential election, creating an eight-part experiment in jingoism.

This is what happens when you tell a European arthouse director to sift through American youth culture, to see a torrid landscape through the eyes of those who have not truly felt its ramifications – young outsiders who don’t even understand themselves yet. We are who we are, Guadagnino proposes simply in the show’s title, but who that is, is up for you to decide.

Jack Dylan Grazer

Age: 17

Character: Fraser is the newcomer on the army base. He loves to stare for much longer than appropriate and can entertain himself just as easily as he can be the class clown.

Sucking on a pregnant Chloë Sevigny’s fingers like they’re pork knuckles might not have been what Jack Dylan Grazer had in mind when he was cast as Fraser, the male lead in WRWWR. Yet it didn’t faze Sevigny at all, who plays his character’s mother. Pre-finger-suck, Grazer could think only of the 1979 Bernardo BertoluccI film La Luna, in which a mother masturbates her own son.

“We were preparing for that scene and it was all I could think about,” he tells me from his Los Angeles bedroom. Five seconds before the cameras started rolling, Guadagnino asked him if he had seen La Luna? “I was like, ‘Oh my God, no way, I was just about to ask you that!’ I swear to God, it was so synchronistic.”

The relationship between Fraser and his mum is “beautifully disturbing and gross”, as Grazer puts it. He gets jealous when she dances with a male friend, and brutally slaps her when she doesn’t prepare his meal the way he likes. “I felt baaaaad!” Grazer jokes. “It was real – a practical slap. Luca was like, ‘Chloë, do you want to make it a real slap like the Bertolucci movie, or do you want to play it fake?’ Chloë was like, ‘Let’s do it for real.’”

After each take Grazer would ask, “Are you OK, Chloë? Do you want me to get you some ice?”, feeling bad for slapping one of cinema’s most iconic indie actresses. She responded, as you might guess, by shushing him.

When we first meet Fraser in WRWWR he has no friends but shoots lingering stares at a group of young teens who live on his same army base, a group headed up by Britney (Francesca Scorsese). He is “universally relatable… the embodiment of questioning who you are”, Grazer says. “I was really drawn to how blatant he was in regards to transitioning from childhood to adolescence.”

Grazer has previously been in the films IT and Beautiful Boy (where he played a younger Timothée Chalamet), but this is his best role to date. Fraser short-circuits with awkward energy and walks with a confident gait that suggests – as his new friend Britney says behind his back – “he’s got a big one”.

Grazer is, at age 17, the most experienced of the younger set on WRWWR, but he still had to fight to win his part. “I auditioned like everyone else. “I hated my audition, I thought it was the worst audition I’d ever done in my life. I walked out and I was like, ‘Fuck!’ because I wanted to get it so bad. I was in Chicago, and Luca FaceTimed me like, ‘If you want the part, you can have it.’ I was like, ‘If I want it?! Yeah! I want it!’”

Part of that audition process required him to answer some personal questions for casting director Carmen Cuba. She asked if he’d ever questioned his sexuality. “I was like, ‘Of course, as every human being should.’ She said, ‘This show has a lot to do with teenage identity, so are you in touch with that side of yourself? Do you wanna explore it more?’” He did.

As Fraser, Grazer goes to great lengths to keep you hemmed to your seat, talking to real Italian strangers caught on camera, or sticking his fingers in a cake – not because it’s in the script (he did several things without Guadagnino asking), but because it’s who he believes his character is. “I don’t act for my fans,” Grazer admits. “I act in movies because I want people who don’t even know who I am to be like, ‘Oh cool. Who’s this guy? He’s good.’”

Before WRWWR Grazer didn’t think much about fashion, but in the show his character loves Raf Simons. To make him more enthused Guadagnino connected him with an unlikely close friend: the streetwear influencer Mike the Ruler. “Before, I was like, ‘Ew, fashion – fucking assholes always trying to show off.’ I talked to Mike and he was like, ‘Fashion isn’t about showing off how much money I have. It’s the opposite, I’m dressing up for myself, it’s my own artform.’” Just the other day, Grazer says, he stepped out in a skirt, a “really obnoxious” yellow sweater, a corduroy vest and a neon sun hat. He likes the fact that people look at him funny.

Grazer loves being the grub twisting in Hollywood’s apple, but more than pleasing his millions of fans or aiming for top-billing, he is taking difficult roles to flex his muscles. “I just want to express myself, and if people like that, that’s awesome.”

#jack dylan grazer #fraser wilson #we are who we are #wawwa #luca guadagnino #hbo #hbo max #sky atlantic #wawwa press #the face

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silver-wield · 4 years

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body language analysis: tifa and cloud train scene!! go!

Oh, Nonny, you made my morning with this!! I mean, it's not like I haven't touched on Cloud and Tifa's body language in gif reblogs, but an actual post dedicated to one of the best moments of the game? YAY!!

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis)

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog)

Tifa character analysis

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis)

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti)

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

So, the corkscrew tunnel scene – or clotiscrew tunnel as I've seen it called – begins with Avalanche caught by the sensors on the train. After a timed fight – which, yes, it's possible to lose, but it's also clear this is a “bad ending” where you've made Cloud look like an incompetent dick who can't even handle a few drones – we see Barret mustering his courage and leaping from the train (he's so damn cute sometimes, I'm gonna have to do a post about his development with Cloud at some point).

The action then cuts to Tifa, frozen in front of the door, too afraid to jump (you can hear her whimpering). Cloud calls her name, deals with the last drone and comes over. Now, in the OG, obviously they all jump one after the other because polygons and popeye arms would've just looked like a total mess and Square admitted they neglected Cloti to highlight all the relationship development between Clerith since she dies later.

Cut to 2020 and we get this. Damn, Square, if I didn't already love you for pretty much my entire life already I'd have fallen for you all over again. In fact, I think I probably did.

Ok, I'm done gushing. Kinda.

I think the first thing I have to point out is that Cloud, at no point, needed to do this. He could have verbally encouraged Tifa to jump without the need for physical support at all. After all, the train's slowing down and she was fine in the OG, so who's to say she wouldn't be fine now, too? By calling her name and fixing her attention on him he's actually stalling her jump.

You'll notice that Tifa doesn't take her eyes off the tracks (before this screen obvs since I can see that’s her feet, work with me here), which is fitting since she's zeroed in on that fearful moment and actually can't move without help. Cloud's face in this is displaying typical tension you'd expect in a high energy scene. He's concerned for Tifa, but he's also focused on dealing with the mechs, which he does very quickly. Now, you could argue he did that to get on with the mission, or you could argue he did that because he saw Tifa needed him and his focus shifted to her. And watching the seconds following him turning to look at her, I'd say there's evidence towards the latter because he's actually lost focus on the last mech and it attacks him first causing him to block and parry.

This is the first instance of touching in this scene, and until this point, Tifa hadn't moved or acknowledged Cloud. He needed to physically draw her from her thoughts and you'll hear a surprised exhale from her as she turns to look at him, showing she was lost within herself until he drew her out. Cloud is obviously looking at the tracks, judging his next move. He's already planning what he has to do to keep both of them safe, which is clear from his decisive nod, along with a reassuring, but grim, smile, before pulling Tifa out the door. Remember, I said he could’ve verbally got her attention. He didn’t. He chose touch.

See what I mean about janky quality? Anyway, this is clear concern about Tifa's safety, but also, remember, Cloud is on the mission because Tifa said she felt trapped and he's related that back to their promise that she needs a hero. He's being her hero.

Okay, we're getting to the meat of things now.

First, fucking ouch, he definitely looks pained, meaning that whole manoeuvre wasn't as smooth as he pretended. As they slow down, he puts a bracing hand against the ground to prevent him rolling onto Tifa (because he's a gent and also toting a sword that weighs more than Barret lol).

What's interesting is where his left hand is in this. Make a note: middle of her back. Tifa's head is tucked into Cloud's neck – safety move, so nothing big there. I've seen some people note Tifa's leg is between Cloud's, but I'm gonna discount that as the way they've locked together during the roll. It's unintentional.

Oh, but this isn't! Cloud has absolutely no reason to put his hand back on Tifa. He could leave it lying flat on the ground. You could argue he needs both to help her get off him, but she's on top. She can do that herself. He has no further need past the initial save to have his hands on her, unless that's what he wants. Obviously we can't see his face in this because of Tifa's hair, but this, combined with the next screen tell a very definite story.

He moved his hand! That left hand, he didn't need to move it up in such a caressing gesture. Coupled with the very intense gaze he gives her, I was swooning like a maiden wearing a too tight corset lol

Now, you could argue he's just concerned, it's a high tension situation. Well, I argue that every single trope using this kind of scene results in sexual tension/flustered characters and/or a kiss. Remember, right at this second, he has no reason to still be lying with her like this. In fact, him moving his hand further up her back is a bracing gesture that would keep her close, not release her. Tifa's fists are balled against his chest, which signifies she's protecting her hands – she's a hand-to-hand fighter remember -- but her face is relaxed. She's not feeling awkward or eager to escape.

Eye contact!! Can I just leave it at that? No? Cloud isn't actually the type to keep prolonged eye contact. Oh, did you think I was about to say something else? Well, for literally anyone who hasn't paid attention to him, Cloud often looks away when he feels awkward, flustered, unsure, basically any negative emotion. The only time he looks anyone in the eye is when he's confronting them or at ease. Remember, even when Jessie teased him about smiling during chapter 4 he looked away, embarrassed. Cloud doesn't handle eye contact well. Which is why this is such a huge deal. He's keeping prolonged eye contact with Tifa. He doesn't look away from her eyes when he asks if she's ok. And that question – ah my heart! So soft and tender. You can hear the care and concern in his tone. It anchors the entire scene from start to finish. Everything he just did was because he cares about Tifa and wants to look after her. He wants to make sure she's ok, even if it means he suffers for it. Pretty sure some people will disagree with this, but the damn man wore a dress and went through a humiliating dance routine – humiliating for him, I fucking loved it – just to save her. His first words in Wall Market are he wants to save Tifa, but Aerith cuts him off before he can finish the sentence.

These are the moments that I have to go back over a million times to catch. Check the tiny eye narrowing and uplift at the corner of his mouth. She said she's ok and he's happy about it. He's her hero – in not so many words. Tifa's shaky reply and pale face confirm her shock and fear, but also you can see an easing of the tension in her. There's a subtle softening of her muscle definition and facial expression that displays the trust and belief she has in Cloud that he'd look after her. This is a very mutually appreciative moment between them. Definitely not one sided.

And then the moment is over, without any flustered blushing or stammering, and thank God there wasn't because that would be so ooc I just can't with it. Cloud, despite being an awkward af dork who doesn't know how to deal with women hitting on him, doesn't turn into a flustered 14 year old trying to tell his crush he's leaving Nibelheim whenever they have contact. We've already seen smooth!Cloud giving Tifa a flower and complimenting her like a cheeky bastard. He can handle being around her because he feels comfortable. He can compliment her because of that, too. He might be slightly separated from those childhood feelings, but they're in there and they're motivating him to be outgoing towards her. To show her the cool SOLDIER he became that's worthy of being beside her.

But, yeah, back to the point. The moment is over. Or is it? Because that is some very further prolonged eye contact between them when there doesn't have to be. Tifa moves back, Cloud moves forward, they're both getting up and yet, they're both looking at each other. I don't know about you, but I find it easier to look where I'm going when I've fallen on my ass and need to get up. I sure af don't stare longingly into someone's eyes like I can't bear not to.

And now it really is over because right after this the mechs arrive. But before that, some more prolonged eye contact. There literally is no need for them to do this at this point. Tifa looks pensive, but I think that's her default tbf. Yet, at the same time, there's an intensity in her gaze like she wants to say something – maybe it's just a thank you, that would turn into a flirty conversation of some sort “you didn't need to do that,” “I wanted to” kind of deal – so it makes sense they're interrupted because Square said they didn’t want to overdo the amount of Cloti content they added and this is already a very charged scene.

Meanwhile, Cloud is looking at her like she's his entire world and he's just waiting for her to realise it. There's an aura of expectation in his pose and face. They're both crouching in mirrored poses, which as some of you may know is what you do when you're trying to build rapport with someone. It's basic body language building blocks. Toddlers do this. They're both on one knee, slightly leaning forward. Now, if there was no rapport between them, if they wanted to end the moment, one of them would stand up, breaking the mirrored pose and cutting off eye contact. This would put one above the other and show an imbalance in their relationship. This doesn't happen. They both turn at the same time, rise at the same time and fight pose at the same time.

Conclusion:

Seriously? After all that you can't draw your own?

Ok, I'll be fair to the other side. Let's take away Cloud's history with Tifa – since that's the biggest argument for them: the childhood crush trope.

If Cloud and Tifa weren't friends, just colleagues on a mission, this scene would still be hella charged with sexual tension and implication that Cloud has a thing for her. Even if it's just basic sexual attraction, that's still attraction and a marker on the pathway to a relationship.

But, they are friends, so moving on.

Tifa is the more reserved one in this dynamic. She's naturally shy – it's canon – but even with that, she's affected by Cloud. She holds that eye contact. Her voice is equally soft as his. She mirrors his pose. She doesn't try to get away the second they stop moving. Cloud is the one to move things along, without awkwardness because he's comfortable with Tifa. He's not out of sorts having her lying on top of him – which you can argue means he's not interested, but I literally just pointed out all the ways in which he is into her. Being comfortable in someone's company doesn't mean a person isn't attracted to them. If I had to stick a pin in Cloud's sexuality I'd say he's on the demi scale, meaning he needs to have a deep emotional connection to whoever he's with before he falls in love with them. He's not a love at first sight kind of guy.

This fits with the childhood crush trope. Cloud's known Tifa for years and developed an attraction to her that still lingers, making a reconnection between them easier. He's not slobbering over her because he's Cloud and very stoic – I know people say his true self isn't like this, but it is only with more insecurity and desire to prove himself. He's still a very reserved guy with a dry sense of humour. He's prone to melancholy and self doubt, which is why his friends bolster his confidence so much.

Point is, everything in this scene showcases a deep and meaningful relationship between the two of them at its best, while at its most shallow it shows Cloud is sexually attracted to Tifa, which is something that could develop into a more meaningful relationship later. Either way, it's a marked moment in their interactions that Cloud's non-optional choices led to it. There's no either/or within this. It happened.

#cloti #final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis

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walkingandpanicking · 4 years

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Ranking the Williams (again)

Now that I have finished all the remakes, I’m going to rank the Williams. Fight me if you want, I don’t care.

1. Edoardo. The only one I would trust with my life, the only one who apologized (four times), he was just the sweetest, softest dude ever who pined for Eleonora for a year unlike the other Williams, didn’t talk about sex at all, thought of her as family and when she told her about the brother thing he needed space but didn’t embarrass her at school by walking away (also he felt sad because his family had caused her that pain and he just wanted to make her life easier by distancing himself, dude logic). He was just so open with his emotions (creep scene anyone?) and didn’t force Eleonora to do anything. Just an angel among humans, okay. Did I mention he also beat up some aggressive homophobes? Did I mention he confessed everything to the police on his own so his friends wouldn’t be bothered with anything? Just the most amazing man in the Skamaverse.

2. Alex. He’s story is very different from the others but that’s what I love about him. He’s a giant dork and again very respectful. I do not like what they did to Mia and Alex in S4 but that has nothing to do with him. He’s a kind caring soul and must be protected at all costs. Hope he finds happiness in life!

3. Senne. While I hate that he did have that dramatic walking away scene at school while Zoe fell on her knees, he’s not bad. He kind of has this protective dad energy (like Edoardo) and he cares a lot about everyone’s well-being. Solid husband material.

4. Alejandro. I almost forgot to include him but so did Skam Es. Oh baby, they did you dirty but at least you are a changed man and you care about Nora a lot. Round of applause to you, sir. PS! Don’t leave...

5. Daniel. Although he’s kind of meh, he doesn’t bother me. Kind of vanilla. Just okay. He’s kind of the equivalent of the color grey being a person.

*long pause*

6. Noah. WTF DUDE? You had so much potential but you messed it all up. He embarrassed Liv at school and was a dick about everything. Then after that whole wedding dress scene, he just pretended everything was fine. No sir, open your mouth and say you’re ‘’Sorry!’’ Overall, I’m not happy with Skam NL in terms of how they handled the SA, she had it worst out of all of them and they fixed it with literally two minutes. No to Noah from me.

7. William. No, just no. Such a creepy dude and so arrogant. Again, didn’t say he was sorry and with everything that happened in S3 and S4 I just can’t like him, at all. Go get some manners!

8. Charles. The actor is good and that’s the only nice thing I can say about him. Just the worst human. He acts like the world owes him something, but guess what? I doesn’t. He’s just William but like an evil version of him. Can’t stand his stupid face. Leave!!!

#Skam #Skam france #Druck #Skam Italia #Skam NL #skam españa #Skam austin #Wtfock #edoardo incanti #Alexander Hardenberg #senne de smet #alejandro beltrán #daniel williamson #noah boom #william magnusson #charles munier

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retvenkos · 4 years

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amends pt. 9 // ricky bowen

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series - Slow Burn Ricky Bowen x Stage Manager!Reader Fic. Summary: That’s asking a lot of the theatre gods. Then again, it does include a lot of drama, so maybe it might just work out. A/N: I finally gave the people what they wanted. pt. 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8

“I guess we could fill the background with these mannequins and then we wouldn’t have to make as many set pieces.”

“I would have to re-costume all of them. I don’t think these clothes were even acceptable in the 80s.”

You sighed, surveying the stage area. Both Kourtney and Big Red (who were getting along, surprisingly enough) were circling the rave that seemed to have exploded in the corner. Sure, you hadn’t known what you were getting yourself into when you had started your trip to your new theater, but nothing could have prepared you for what the El Rey actually was.

Was a professional location worth it if there were serious health risks to anyone who showed up? You were seriously considering telling Miss Jen that the park was a better venue - you could create a wall with the mannequins for privacy if you had to.

“Umm…” Kourtney and Big Red looked up as you considered your options, “Red, I want you to remake the main platform for the New Years scene. Don’t worry about extending the walls, we’re not going to have enough material for that anyway.”

He nodded and walked off, a confident bounce in his step. That was good. At least someone felt like they could pull this off.

“And me?” Kourtney looked at you expectantly.

“Most of the costumes were saved, right?”

“Yeah. I’m having most of the ensemble wear their street clothes.”

“Sweet. You can help me move these, then.” You picked up a mannequin and started to awkwardly shuffle away. It was taller than you, and it was an awkward move, but you and Kourtney eventually got every mannequin into a prop closet that you were 90% sure was haunted.

“Soundcheck!” Miss Jen’s voice - a little more strained than usual - called out to everyone. You walked over to where Big Red was messing with the soundboard, praying that it worked.

Today was going to be a long day.

…

“Hey, R.” The boy in question smiled as you sat down next to him on the stairs. “How are you holding up?”

“Things could be better.” Ricky’s tone was light and you laughed. “I mean, things were not weird between me and Nini. At all. But Gina’s gone and we’re in this creepy theater, so…”

“Oh, I know. I’ve been doing damage control all day.” You shook your head, gathering your thoughts. “We’re lucky, though. We didn’t lose nearly as much as we thought. The set took most of the damage - we’re going to have to work all weekend to get some of it back.”

“Is Miss Jen going to have you get the supplies?”

“Yeah, actually.” You looked at him, your eyes narrowing. How did he know? “I was just about to find someone to come with me.” You withheld the idea that it was him that you were going to ask. He didn’t need to know that your mind always went straight to him.

“I can go with!” There was excitement in his voice, and he quickly came up with an excuse to cover it, making you smile. “I mean, we don’t know how long Miss Jen is going to have us locked out of the stage area…”

“Yeah.” You smiled at him, your face feeling warm. “I’d love that.”

…

Were you glad that the show was going to be put on in the gym instead of the rat-infested El Rey theater? Yes. But were you going to scream if another change happened to the production? Definitely.

This was the last dress rehearsal - and first tech rehearsal in the gym. And, as fate would have it, the only stage crew member that could do the light board was sick with the flu, somehow all of the basketball jerseys were lost in the move, and Ricky and Nini were M.I.A.

After getting Big Red on FaceTime with the sick crew member and Kourtney talking with the basketball coach to see if they could use some of their actual jerseys, all you had to do was find your two leads. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you were smiling because of how similar this situation was to the beginning of the year when you were looking for Nini and Ashlyn and Ricky had helped you.

But the majority of your mind was stressed.

Really, really stressed.

When you started to walk toward the choir room, you could hear singing and knew you must’ve been looking in the right spot. The closer you got, the more you recognized the voices and the song.

I Can’t Take My Eyes off of You. The song that Gabriella and Troy sang when on the rooftop - one of the few songs in the stage musical that wasn’t in the show. When Ricky had found out about it, he had gone on about it for the rest of the week. “Is it really that important if it wasn’t in the movie?” “The words are pretty serious, y’know. Are you sure Nini is actually going to sing this with me?” “There’s a saxophone in this?!” You had laughed and told him it was going to be fine. And it had been.

You stood in the doorway and watched as Ricky and Nini rehearsed. Nini was focused on playing the piano to guide them, and Ricky was pacing, his eyes closed as he focused on getting the part just right.

“...How all I see is you and I…”

His voice was melodious, the words tumbling from his mouth like a waterfall rushing over you. It was full of joy, hope, and love. Everything he did was full of love and warmth. He cared for everyone and somewhere in his caring for you, you fell in love with him.

“...I can’t take my eyes off of you…”

You marveled at him from your place at the doorway - what else could you do? It was easy to love him, even if it was from afar. He was kind and funny… he always made you feel good inside when you were together. Almost as if he cared...

“...I know you feel the same way too…”

Ricky ran a hand through his hair, eyes still closed tight. It looked right, seeing him there. Like he had finally found his place - a place where he could be himself. He always seemed that way in rehearsals - laughing with Big Red, practicing with Nini. He always did his best when he looked comfortable like this. It was your favorite look of his - his comfortable happiness. You loved the way it looked on him. You really did.

“...You never know what you’re gonna feel--”

Ricky opened his eyes and turned back to the piano. Then his eyes fixed on you.

You stood, rooted to the spot. His eyes were wide with panic, the same type of horrible adrenaline surging through your veins. You could see it in his eyes.

He knew.

A cold dread filled you from within, but you couldn’t move. You couldn’t pull away from the wide-eyed look in his beautiful, brown eyes. The panic. The fear.

He knew. He knew. He knew. And he hated it…

When the tears that welled in your eyes broke free, you turned around and left.

It wasn’t running away. Running meant that you could get away from it eventually. But not this. This would stay with you. You couldn’t get away from this. Not when he knew. But you couldn’t stay. Not here - not at school. This school was like a prison, and every moment you were there, the time to your execution loomed nearer. You had to grab your things and go.

The sound of your heartbeat was fast and loud as you walked to your locker. You couldn’t see clearly anymore so you let your legs take you where they knew they needed to go. The sound of your own rushing blood filled your ears.

How could you have been so stupid? How could you have been so careless? You ruined everything and had nothing left. You would never be able to face him again, not after that. He would never be your friend again, not after that. Not after everything…

You were crying, and the tears made it so you couldn’t get the combination right to open up your locker. You blinked furiously and tried to restart the combination process.

“Hey!” His voice called out to you.

You mind was racing and you couldn’t really remember the numbers anymore, but you tried to come up with an excuse, “I--” you pushed away a sob, eyes still fixed on the black dial in front of you, “I just have to get home right now because they need me at home. family emergency, y’know?” your voice was going a mile a minute, the words slurring into one another until your words were almost unrecognizable. “If I could just open this stupid locker I can get going any minute now...” You’re just spinning the lock, now, the numbers all blurring into one as you talk over his incessant calling of your name.

“(N/n).” A hand closes over yours gently, the lock stopping in its tracks. For a moment all you can hear are your strained breaths.

You close your eyes.

“I’m sorry, R.” Your voice is a whisper, but it still carries in the still hallway.

The two of you sit down side by side in front of your locker.

You wipe away your tears with the sleeve of your jacket, your breath steadying with every second that passes. Ricky is quiet next to you, so much so that you think he might have left. It takes all of your energy to look beside you. And there he was - your Ricky.

One of his hands was running through his hair, messing it up even further, big eyes looking down at the floor, his mouth forming the slightest frown.

And you did this to him.

It’s quiet for a long moment. You sighed and tip your head against your locker, closing your eyes. The hallway was dead, but the ringing in your ears makes the silence deafening.

Ricky spoke then, his voice barely over a whisper but cutting through everything the way it always had.

“How long?”

You shook your head sadly, collecting yourself enough to respond. “Too long. It doesn’t matter.”

He looked down at his lap and started picking at a frayed hole in his jeans. You didn’t know what to say and took to watching him instead. You saw what you had done.

“That day when we went to Big Red’s and watched all of the high school musicals to distract me from my mom being gone… that’s when I knew.” His voice was quiet, and there was something soft in his eyes.

“You knew how I felt?” you asked tentatively.

He shook his head, brown eyes never meeting yours. “I knew how I felt.”

Your breath hitched, and something akin to fear started to course through you. But you could feel something else too. Something confused, but hopeful. You couldn’t see yourself, but you tried your best to steel your gaze - fill them with something that was resolved, prepared for what would come next. “I care about you, R. Maybe more than I should, and maybe not enough. But I like your stupid jokes and your well-meaning nature, and how hard you try to be a better person.”

Ricky looked up, his eyes a little red from crying, but shining nonetheless. Your heart was swelling with anticipation when he finally said, “I do too - about you, I mean.”

You both let out a sigh of relief, features curling into smiles. And for a moment all you could see was him beaming back at you, the light coming off of him brighter than the sun.

You leaned into him subconsciously and he did the same. You were close enough to feel the warmth that radiated from him, and you were all too aware of his shaky hands reaching for your waist. You heart was pounding against your ribcage and the two of you got closer--

“(Y/n)! Where are you?” Carlos’s strained voice calls out from around the hall, and the two of you jump apart. There’s a crash where Ricky’s head hits your locker, and despite yourself, you laugh.

When Carlos turns the corner, you and Ricky are laughing, hands just inches apart.

taglist:

@room-3o4, @dinsey-chanel, @ruefulposts, @mightdielater, @ggukstoe, @wallacetdog, @onceuponafanfiction, @goodnight-n-dayglow, @prttybitchin, @loyalucas, @hxney-bunches-x, @hxzstxles, @parkeroffline, @madamestarlet, @parkerharrington, @fudgemesteveharrington, @hobistigma, @farfrom-peter, @fangeekkk, @tori-marie, @amxx44, @onceuponafanfiction, @softpeteparker, @filmqvakers, @wcnderwoo, @stitch-flo, @liberty01, @kxhliforniaa, @ilymarkchan, @complete-trash-101, @strangerxhunters, @dystopianchic13, @allaroundaddict, @hannarudick, @sweetmilki, @aesthetics-andfandoms, @byuncaa, @write-from-the-heart, @spiderbibby, @captainlarsonn, @ssuddenn, @buckybearsblog, @awkwardnesshabitat, @whiteskinnyboysandmemewhore, @shawnandconnor, @fukoffoclock, @rhainintheattic

#high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts #ricky bowen #ricky bowen x reader #x reader #fic #fic series #slow burn #stage manager! reader #sorry if there is typos #this is largely unedited

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jimmythejiver · 3 years

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For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

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iaintyourbro · 4 years

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Is it true that in the Remake that Cloud decided to save Tifa from Don Corneo and dance because of Aerith? I saw people say that Aerith was the reason, and I don't want to believe it, but as soon as Aerith told Cloud to go help Tifa he changed his mind. And when Andrea told Cloud he had to dance, he's like "screw this" but when he looked at Aerith he changed his mind again and decided to dance. It looks like he did do it for Aerith but I'm not sure and I don't want to believe she's the reason.

Hi anon...

From my perspective, no. He danced because at that point it was the only option they had (according to Aerith). He wanted to go in blowing shit up, but Leslie told him to watch it because if he did, Tifa or somebody else could get punished for it.

Cloud would have found a way to save Tifa, but he wasn’t going to send Aerith in there by herself. That’d be messed up, no? How would he look if he said, “Okay, go in there and get this girl you keep telling me is super important to me (and she is cuz Tender Memories™), cuz yes, I’m worried, but I’m not dressing up or dancing cuz eff that, but you go in to the serial killer, sex trafficking murder dungeon and go get her out for me.”

He’d look like a dick. He’s not a dick.

Let’s back up a bit, though.

Cloud let’s Tifa go because she tells him she’s fine and can kick all the ass. He trusts that Tifa knows what she’s doing - he’s seen her kick all the ass. On top of it... Cloud has no idea who Don Corneo is. He’s not native to Midgar and he just “woke up” about 3 or 4 days ago (in Remake timeline, it seems). But whether he woke up a month ago or today, he doesn’t know anything about Wall Market. He tells Aerith this at the beginning of Chapter 9 when she asks.

So he’s back to Aerith. He looks harsh here, but also worried. I think he’s trying to convince himself of what he’s telling Aerith.

Then Aerith is like nah bro... listen... Aerith’s Street Cred (More info on Aerith’s street cred here)

And his face starts to change as she says this. It’s concerning to him.

He has his OH SHIT moment after Aerith tells him this.

So they go to Wall Market.

So Cloud goes through a few emotions during the Chocobo Sam scene, which I have covered in a previous post: Cloud and Chocobo Sam

He’s aggressive at the point he says this. He does want to save her.

Ultimately, they first try to do the standard let me bust through and just grab her out of here, and that doesn’t work. So they have to go on a journey to figure out a way to infiltrate his mansion and get Tifa out. Aerith is just as invested in this as Cloud. She’s not showing anything to say “Haha, if she’s captured he’s mine.”

Why? Because at this point, I don’t think Aerith is interested in Cloud romantically, she’s interested in information on Zack. It just so happens that Tifa is in trouble, or else Cloud would have just gone back to Sector 7 and been on his way.

Let’s fast forward to the point where Cloud tells Aerith, “I don’t know if you should go in there. You don’t know what they’ll make you do.”

He just went on a quest chain (most likely you’d do the Chocobo Sam once since it’s the default one) to learn about Wall Market and he quickly sees how messed up the place is. He’s not going to send her in there, but he’s also not going to give up on Tifa.

Aerith interrupts him at this point to pretty much tell him oh I’m not going in by myself, I have a plan, don’t worry.

This wasn’t him saying welp, sorry, Tifa.

Now we get to the dance. And they always say “He saw Aerith and that’s what makes him want to dance.”

No, he tried to get away, tried to get away, oh shit she’s in here and I can’t get away now. He looks absolutely miserable during this part. He’s not enjoying it. If he wanted to dance for her to make her happy.... wouldn’t he be happier?

He’s loving it, huh?

He does this to get Tifa AND prevent Aerith from going in by herself.

Ultimately - what was the goal of the Wall Market mission? It was to save Tifa.

Cloud dresses up like a woman to save Tifa. In OG, Cloud actually doesn’t want Aerith to go with him, but Aerith runs after Tifa.

In Remake, Cloud takes off after Tifa, but is told to go back to Seventh Heaven. Aerith then tells him like you have no idea what you’re dealing with buddy, let’s go.

This isn’t a damn shipping thing. This is Cloud being told about a very dangerous situation that Tifa is now in and Aerith, how is also not a dick, wants to help out a fellow woman AND she knows this person is important to Cloud.

Cloud dances to get his dress. In OG, Cloud has to get in the dress to go save Tifa and prevent Aerith from going in by herself.

It’s as simple as that: Cloud isn’t a douchebag. If you look at the entire Chapter, you can see this isn’t just him trying to impress or entertain Aerith... not even close. I really do hate that argument.

#ff7 remake #ff7r #cloti #cloud x tifa #baerith #Aerith is Tifa's friend not her foil #the dance isn't about who cloud wants more #the dance is about saving two women #cuz why would you want him to send aerith into the serial killer dungeon #ff7r spoilers

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moodysnowflake · 4 years

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Hello there!

Warning guys, nasty SPOILERS ahead, both of FFVII (+ Remake) and FFVII Crisis Core.

The severity of spoilers is arguable, it depends on the level of involvement you have or you got in the series, so please be aware that what you're stepping onto might be a wildflower lawn as much as a war minefield.

I saw, read and heard a lot of people complaining about Cloud's dancing scene/minigame, grumbling about how:

1. Stupid it was;

2. Degrading it has been;

3. Zack would have been disappointed.

Let's take it in strides, shall we?

1. Stupid? I'd rather say silly, more than stupid. Stupid means doing something that you've no idea how/why you're doing. FFVII never made that a mystery: there was a goofy vibe in the original too, and that was on purpose. You couldn't handle the story otherwise, it would just have been a mess of violence, death, tears and blood. Light moods are needed for you to recuperate, recharge batteries and balance. Otherwise, we all would've ended up like Sephiroth.

Character perspective wise, Cloud might not have understood from the beginning (as much as I love him to the bottom of my essence, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer - that's also why Sephiroth can do what the fluff he wants) what the hell Aerith roped him into, but when he gets the idea he accepts it (in his very Cloud way) and faces it with one of the most determined look he has ever sported. He's willing to let himself be dragged on and about the stage by Andrea, because he knows this is for Tifa, so it doesn't matter if he has to shake is ass in front of a bunch of strangers. He never really cared about his reputation since Crisis Core; he doesn't care about what people think, he's doing it for the woman he loves (shut your trap, he loves her as much as she loves him, he just needs time to untangle himself from his nightmares - and someone smacking him on the head really hard).

Secondly, player perspective wise, is it really such a stupid section? How many did manage to get a perfect score on the very first try? Camera speed, moves and angles pulled some interesting stunts, didn't they? Tricking your depth perception, together with the lights going bananas. Even if they weren't; everything has been coordinated and perfectly synced with the music. If you'd refrained for two seconds from blabbering insults you would have noticed that you could've actually used lights as another cue to help you sync, with the music and Cloud's movements. It's called peripheral vision, you need to expand your focus as much as you can and split it both on the background and the forefront. That gives your brain the capacity to better throw information at you so you can react faster, 'cause you're actively trying to remain perceptive of your surroundings too. Just like in battles.

If that shooting dynamic would have been present during battle, nobody would have survived, not even a doomrat.

2. Talking about degrading. Did Cloud strip naked? Did he have to put on a honeybee outfit? As much as he was very uncomfortable, Andrea (a.k.a. the game) pushed him only up to the limit that still felt secure enough and over which it could have been really perceived as abusive. Andrea could have done that and Cloud would still have obliged (because Tifa) but his objective was not humiliating him. He wanted to play with the dangerous SOLDIER, over which he, paradoxically, even for a tiny bit, had the power and control. Still, he didn't overdo nor overuse it (that is some good representation of a BDSM Dom, btw).

Moreover... I mean... Did you really look at him? Those were not exactly noobs moves, he nailed that too (but that's something I'll talk about next).

About the dresses: are you seriously complaining about them? I admit that the black/white one is not exactly the best (but it's your fault for ditching all Wall Market's quest... you had it coming), and I prefer the blue corset one over the lilac/black silk.

Point is: you have to sneak a guy who's built like a fucking BRICK WALL into Corneo's audition. How in the ever-loving hell are you supposed to do it? The only things playing in Cloud's favor are his facial features and his height: he's the smoothest skin I've ever seen, light jaws and is compact enough not to stand out too much among average-height girls, but that's it. He has shoulders and muscles for days. You have to cover him as much as you can, and how would you do that, if not with a broad gown, puff-sleeves, and a corset? If you're wondering about the chocker/high neck+thick necklace: it covers the Adam's apple, genius... And all the frilly, shiny laces of the lilac dress and the extensions are needed to divert the attention from his neck, clavicles and forearms, otherwise, you'll notice the buff.

That's why he had to look like a Victorian maiden.

Putting him in a catsuit, with latex or leather stretching over every inch of skin, or a sundress, with arms and legs on display... That would have been a bad idea.

Andrea is talking about not being afraid, and that's an awesome message: if you feel comfortable and beautiful, why not doing it? If you're happy, do it. It's not your problem if other people are insecure about themselves and try to pick on you because they're afraid and, most of all, jealous of your confidence, identity, and fortitude. They're just disrespectful and sad, and you should avoid them like the plague.

And again, Cloud doesn't seem that much fazed about it. I think he's more annoyed than anything; having to move in that huge-ass skirt, squeezed in a corset which is not letting you breathe and turn around would make everyone who's not used to it lose their shit. Women or men, regardless, it's a pain either way, especially if you're a fighter and need to move freely. Also, if you notice, the heels he's put in are not that much higher than his combat boots... Sure, they're thinner, but that's why he's not wobbling like a newborn calf. Did you see him swaying through the streets? That was some awesome heel-walking.

What ended me was how he was moving after he woke up. Have you seen how completely ungraceful he is, and at the same time fluidly stands to check on Aerith and doesn't trip over his own feet? In a dress like that, being that agile is shamefully amazing. Then, he swings like he's in the SOLDIER uniform, spine blocked because of the corset, moving his center of gravity too much because of too broad steps, awkwardly bobbing, switching too much weight from feet to feet, getting his stance rigid. That's precious. And hilarious af.

He has to held still as much as he can to try and convey the feeling of being scared, but we know he's just trying really hard not to wreak havoc in the audition room and slaughter everyone.

(Despise lighting, which being warm oriented would have mingled with the blue of his irises and shift them to green, I still believe that in that scene his eyes were going mako. In some millisecond-split moments, they seem to really flash out. That's hella relatable: you're using all your self-control not to cut open the scumbag who's lusting and sniffing and drooling and being awful to your friends. Plus, you're being groped and talked down too? The only thing you can do is look, and boy does he Glare™

(Cloud is not afraid/disgusted of other men touching him, but people seem to forget it. He just doesn't want Corneo to touch him. He doesn't move when Andrea touches his lips nor react when he swings him around in the dress, he doesn't move when Biggs pats him on the head on the pillar (I bet he would give everything to have Zack do that again, just one more time...dammit [I know what happens in the final cutscene of the Remake, but the post below this one explains why I think this]), he doesn't pull away when he grabs his hands, and not only he grabs it back, but grasps with the other one too. [Captain Levi vibes, anyone?])

He didn't have control over his eyes and I firmly think he didn't even intend to; he let them glow on purpose, just because that was the only thing he could unleash and nobody would have noticed.)

Cloud dancing is not stupid, nor offensive. Cloud is a loyal, caring friend, who doesn't have prejudices and is comfortable (as much as he can be) with his sexuality and identity that he's not questioning it nor getting scared (and violent) at the situation.

Do I have to dance and dress like a woman to help my girl? If it's the best way, so be it. She needs my help, I'm not gonna let her down. Gonna be a pain in the ass to fight, but I'll manage. I'm not that insecure of myself that a dress is going to make me have an existential crisis.

If you're a man or a male, and your friend/lover/person you cherish would ever be in a life-threatening situation (and this is, 'cause if they were on their own, they would have died), and the only option would be for you to dance and put on a dress to save them, but you refuse because you have to dance and it's a dress... Just a fucking dress... Well... You're not that decent of a friend, nor human being...

3. So. About Zack. If you think he would've been disappointed/disgusted... Are we talking about the same character? 'Cause I think we're not.

Zack Fair, SOLDIER 1st class (previously 2nd), 6 foot and a ladder, black hair, blue eyes, scar on his left jaw. Droll af?

Just because he's a legend, a powerful, passionate and strong-willed person, doesn't mean he couldn't be a quirky dumbass.

The first line said to him in Crisis Core is "Get serious" by Angeal... Angeal who described him to his mother as a PUPPY.

The same guy who jostled his mentor, a fucking SOLDIER 1st class, in front of their boss, when he knew he recommended him.

The same guy who tried to get Aerith on a date after 5 minutes.

The one who grabs a parasol to fight troopers without breaking a sweat.

The one who faked defeat by sixth-grade-Yuffie in Wutai.

The one who dances with the Cactua he summons?

When Angeal discusses the plan and tells him to charge the front gate of Wutai on the first game mission, he's jumping like an over-excited dog.

And, most importantly, the only living being who actually managed to:

- Make Sephiroth care (after Hollander with implanted Jenova cells escapes, he tells Zack Genesis’ copies had been seen in the slums... And with that frigging Knowing™ look, and a smirk, he tells him "Permission to return... Granted", Seph's gentlemanly way to say 'I know you have a girlfriend down there, you should go check on her':

Then Sephiroth says goodbye first

And fucking smiles (Zack wasn’t able to see it ‘cause he was already walking away)

- Yell at him over the phone and live;

- Pull a GENUINE laugh out of him. When they're trying to locate Angeal and Genesis, Sephiroth calls him. The conversation goes as:

S:"You and I are gonna find them [Gen & Angie] before they [Shinra] do, and..."

Z:'And WHAT?!?!' *angry bark, to which Sephirot pulls the phone away*

S:"...Fail to eliminate them"

Z:'For real?!'

S:"[AMUSED HUFF] Yes, for real" *playful mocking of Zack's words*

Okay, that was a huff, BUT STILL... Not even Sephiroth (when he was still a human being...because yes, he was, and a pretty decent one too) was immune to his Puppy Dog Energy. Look. At. That. Smile.

So this is what I think.

The only thing Zack would be disappointed about would've been Cloud not dancing enough.

Heck, he would've jumped on the stage as soon as given the signal and dragged Cloud along, yelling in his face to be heard over the music "This is gonna be great! Let's show them what a SOLDIER can do! We're gonna put all these cute bees to shame!" ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Then again... If Zack would've been there...if we think about it, a part of Zack was there.

During his childhood and infantry training, I seriously doubt Cloud had any occasion to dance or learn how to do it.

Plus, he couldn't have done it during his 4-years mako-comatose state.

This doesn't leave that many options.

It is very likely that, like his fighting ability, his dancing moves were coming from Zack's memories too.

In a way, we can say that Zack, in the end, was there on stage with him.

Gosh, I'm gonna cry so much... ಥ_ಥ

#ffvii remake #ffvii theories #cloud strife #honeybee inn #cloud dancer #zack fair #me gongaga #ffvii crisis core #ffvii compilation

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revolution-john · 3 years

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My Childhood Trauma PTSD as Triggered by the Following Movie Montage

by BENJAMIN DREVLOW

That scene in American History X. You know the one. Or maybe it was Higher Learning, I always get those confused. That curb stomp scene always reminding me of the time I tripped and face-planted in the barn while corralling bull calves, to get castrated, my two front teeth chomping down on all that jagged concrete and manure, it adds a different flavor to the recurring nightmare I have, though in my case, usually nothing to do with race relations. I wonder if everybody else who watched that movie also missed the whole point of it. Except the Curb Stomp. Everybody remembers where they were when their stoner friend with big ideas about ending racism across the world made them watch the movie with the Curb Stomp.

Mel Gibson getting drawn and quartered in Braveheart. You may take our lives, but you will never take… our… FREE-DOM!

Mel Gibson ripping his shoulder out of its socket in Lethal Weapon.

Mel Gibson torturing the shit out of Jesus, then blaming the women and Jews for everything, including his drunk-driving and plummeting career options.

Fuck pretty much any Mel Gibson movie. Except maybe that one with him and James Gardner and Jody Foster and all their comedy hijinks. It’s the gambler one but not The Gambler. But now that I think about it, isn’t Jody Foster a big Mel Gibson apologist? So I guess fuck that movie too.

Any movie where somebody gets shot or stabbed or thumbed in the eyeball or has one or both of their eyeballs squeezed or ripped out, which always reminds me of that time I got elbowed right below my eye but also on the eyeball and it literally pushed in my eyeball a millimeter and I still get double vision to this day whenever I line up a shot playing pool or line up a screw to hang a photo on the wall or sometimes re-hang the toilet paper dispenser next to the toilet. I’d been playing pickup basketball and my buddy who was like four inches taller than me elbowed me on a rebound and like I say I went down and lay there on my back and then all the blood started pooling in my eye socket and I couldn’t see anything and my friend couldn’t see my eyeball and he kept hissing through his teeth grossed out by it but then telling me it would okay and the whole time lying there thinking I’m thinking about my eyeball I’m thinking of the scene in Any Given Sunday where the guy’s eyeball is just lying there on the football field. I’m thinking of that closeup all the way to the hospital when they unwrap the mummy gauze from around my head and the ER doctor breathes a sigh of relief after peeling off all the dried blood to reveal that I needed fifteen stitches and I’d broken my orbital bone, but I still had my eye.

Any movie where somebody’s sitting there reading a book before bed, watching TV, gossiping with girlfriends, when the camera pulls back only to zoom back in on the dark night window behind them—cue the string section.

If I had to choose one, I’m thinking of that one zombie movie, something 28 Days something but not the one about Sandra Bullock finding love with Viggo in rehab. It’s not even about the zombies. It’s about the dark night window, not to be confused with the Dark Knight window, sorry that was a shitty pun for no good reason whatsoever, but also maybe not completely random with the guy from 28 Days also having played the scarecrow in Batman Begins where he sprays people with a drug and makes them see their worst fears, which never really did it for me, at least not like the secluded house with the zombies lurking around. I grew up in a big old farmhouse out in the barrens of northern Wisconsin. Lots of windows, no shades. In so many ways I grew up in the dark. It wasn’t the zombies I worried about. It was the methheads. Which, sure, I guess if you’re getting technical about it, same thing, fine, you win, I’m scared of zombies.

The Zapruder film, but as replayed by Kevin Costner in Oliver Stone’s fever dream of a conspiracy theory. The magic bullet, back and to the left, back and to the left, back and to the left. How it gets stuck in my head, JFK’s exploding head replaced with my brother’s exploding head, sometimes my own, except unlike my brother and JFK, my head’s still mostly intact. Back and to the left, back and to the left. Sometimes I think about that too with that one Seinfeld episode with Keith Hernandez and the magic loogie, but usually the loogie gets replaced with a bullet and Kramer’s head gets replaced with my brother, mine, back and to the left.

The sound of the gun shots in the final scene of that Tom Hanks movie where he plays himself again, a good guy, a family guy, a sly sense of humor, but this time a mob hitman with a strained relationship with his oldest son. The look on Tom Hanks’ face walking back to the house from the ocean—having survived it all, the hit that his old mob boss Paul Newman had put out on him for putting a hit on his old mob boss’s son as played by James Bond who also played Ted Hughes in that movie about Sylvia Plath killing herself. But this is past all that, it’s the happy ending. They’re on beach somewhere, white sand, somebody’s house that Tom Hanks and his kid are going to live in now. The silence before and after. Jude Law! It’s Jude Law’s face, his eye all fucked up, how did it happen, I don’t really remember the specifics but I remember the specifics. Bang, bang, bang. I think it might’ve had something to do with Jude Law being a photographer, like one of those where you pose with your kid or something or say you get promoted to head CEO or godfather of the family. Smile. Click, click, except in this case with a gun.

The gunshot at the end of American Beauty, pretty much the same thing, different movie. Chris Cooper confusing Kevin Spacey as gay but before Kevin Spacey actually came out as gay and a sexual predator. Not that the latter necessarily had anything to do with the former. Neither in the movie nor real life, well not really, but sorta. You get the point.

Jared Leto as Angel Face getting his face smashed in by Ed Norton as Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden’s split personality in Fight Club. Not so much Jared Leto, but the wet mushy sounds of it. That part on the audio commentary where Chuck Palahniuk and David Fincher defend the violence of the movie, Fincher pointing out that he was not glorifying violence, he was making it realistic. That’s what it sounds like to punch your opponent into the concrete, Fincher says and Palahniuk laughs and agrees. Don’t worry I’m not going to make any puns about the first rule of fight club.

That part of that one weird depressing Robin Williams’s movie where Robin Williams’s kids get killed in a car accident while backing out of the driveway on the way to school. The one where Robin Williams later on gets plowed over by a truck going the wrong way while Robin Williams is out trying to help another couple who’d been injured in a different car accident, but before all that his wife kills herself because she can’t take it and then Robin Williams goes to the suicide afterlife to save her. But then there’s fucking Cuba Gooding Jr. who—spoiler alert—turns out to be the ghost/angel of his dead son who then explains to Robin Williams that his wife/Cuba’s mother can’t be saved because she killed herself. It doesn’t matter that she had a pretty fucking good reason too, she’s still stuck face down floating around in that black swamp of bodies of everybody else’s killed themselves and nobody’s getting to heaven. That shit really messed me up—not the car accidents, but the afterlife for selfish losers like me who kill themselves. And/or my brother.

The bulging vein in Tom Cruise’s head from Magnolia. Respect the Cock and Tame the Pussy, Respect the Cock and Tame the Pussy. I think probably my therapist would have some thoughts about all this, and some questions. Questions and thoughts.

That one version of A Christmas Carol where the Ghost of Christmas Past undoes his robe to show off the alien children living under his robe.

I got the worst set of blue balls you could imagine while taking my best friend’s girlfriend to Baz Lurman’s remake of Romeo and Juliet. That Romeo and Juliet. I missed most of it, I kept having to go to the bathroom to masturbate in agony and to no avail. Leo and Claire Danes are hot and heavy on an acid trip, and every time my best friend’s girlfriend reaches for a handful of popcorn she makes sure to wipe the butter off on the inside of my upper thigh. This is what I get for being the good guy of falling on the grenade for my best friend, the grenade in this case being Shakespeare and my best friend’s hatred of literature.

Mark Wahlberg’s flaccid rotten dick in Boogie Nights.

The Secret of the Crying Game but not in a transphobic way. No, it’s the smallness of it what got me back when I watched it as a teenager. The tenderness. The growing tent in my pants at its sudden appearance on the screen. Maybe you don’t believe me but I was a naïve podunk kid from off the farm. I didn’t have cable. I didn’t have access to the internet. His/her (now their) secret opened up a lot of questions for me. I often dream of dressing up in drag and someone sucking my little bitty dick and if that makes me a little bit gay or maybe bi or what’s it called, body dysmorphic. I mean I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, it’s the new millennium, we’re all a bit sexually confused aren’t we?

This one porno my friends and I watched at somebody’s uncle’s cabin up in the U.P. for a three-on-three basketball tournament. The Snapping Pussy. The sound her vagina made, like somebody really dramatic at clicking their tongue and slurping a half-empty malt the same time. The scene of us boys all sitting there with our boners watching a porn and wanting to masturbate but not because we were all boys and we were afraid we’d be gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a little bit gay.

There was this made-for-TV movie, me six years old and home alone while my big brother, supposed who’d to’ve been baby-sitting me, the only time he ever babysat me that I can remember, maybe because his one time—that time—he didn’t actually babysit me. He went out to a party, while I watched the made-for-tv movie about some kid who’d watched his mother get murdered, and then goes mute, keeps drawing these pictures of Peter Pan and Captain Hook. The kid’s grandfather, one of those big hooks, like the one in I Know What You Did Last Summer, but this was long before that, though I’m not sure it was before the book. Did you know that there was a book I Know What You Did Last Summer? I mean this isn’t about the book or the movie, this is about that kid whose grandfather had molested his daughter for years and then as an adult gutted her with a fishhook and then how he’d then come back to finish the job with his mute grandkid, I don’t know how this movie ever got green-lighted (green-lit?) for TV, but then it’s weird to even think about those made-for-tv movies and if they actually existed or if I’m just making this whole thing up, but then my brother, we had a walk-in basement at the time, this being before I’d accidently burned that house down with two space heaters stolen from the barn, before my brother’d killed himself, he’d come back late, or probably it was only eight or nine, but I was young and alone out in the woods where we lived, and he’d come back through the basement, which was attached to the family room, where I’d been watching and then all of a sudden that kid on TV was being stocked by his granddad with a fish hook and the door to the basement was opening, and for god knows why I’d turned off all the lights to watch the scary movie by myself, and it turns out it was just my brother who’d go on to kill himself in like a year, maybe six months, and he was just playing a little prank on me, or maybe he’d just come through the basement for some reason, he was always hanging out down there and tinkering around with things, but in my mind, I can remember that exact look on his face, that smirk, even in the dark, the light from the television in a blacked-out room, a blacked out house, reflecting off those pop-bottle glasses of his, the shiny too-big-for-his-face silver frames. My mother always tells me I should try to remember the happy times I had with my brother, and honestly, I can’t, I can only remember that smirk, those glasses, the handle turning a moment before he appeared.

Any and all sequels where it turns out that the dead character didn’t actually die at all, or maybe it’s magic, or maybe there’s time travel.

Any happy ending ever.

Every ending in my worst nightmares involves everyone I’ve ever loved or hated, their faces turning to snake faces. Snakeheads, snake arms, snake butts. Snakes snakes snakes. They slip out of their clothes and come up from under my bed, slither under my covers. They bite me, they kiss me, poison me, they consume me whole and regurgitate my bones. That’s how they always end. Me dead and abandoned.

That scene in the first Indiana Jones with Indiana Jones and getting trapped in the cave with all the snakes. I hate snakes. All my worst nightmares turn to snakes. Fuck snakes. This all might have something to do with my undersized penis. If you want to go down that path. The Secret of My Crying Game.

Has Mel Gibson ever made a movie with snakes? I don’t know, you tell me, but fuck that movie if he did. Mel Gibson is snakey enough on his own.

BENJAMIN DREVLOW is the author of Bend With the Knees and Other Love Advice from My Father, which won the 2006 Many Voices Project, and the author of Ina-Baby: A Love Story in Reverse, which was released by Cowboy Jamboree Books in 2019. Buy his books here. He is currently at work on a novel, a novella, and a collection of story-poems. He serves as the Managing Editor of BULL Magazine (@BULL_magazine_) and is a lecturer at Georgia Southern University in Statesboro, Georgia.

#benjamin drevlow

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