#i also don't actually think they would end up in an unhealthy codependent relationship. but they could! but they wouldn't.

[windupaidoneus]

also i think they got together post zaki death because before that it was complicated & messy but not in a like toxic way or anything it was just like obligations & sides & whatever like. zaki having been ssg for so long & his loyalty remaining to kondo first & foremost despite everything even as he worked in zura's joui faction. i do think everyone in the ssg got character assassinated when zaki died BUT rolling along with it means that the only person who saw it for what it is (as in. someone dying & the actual gravity of it) is the one guy who was committed to. this bit. this guy. the bit guy. the guy who is a bit. do you HEAR ME am i alone in here am i sensible hello

[gachagon]

This post delves heavily into Kaiser's backstory that was revealed in recent chapters of Blue Lock. The following content has graphic depictions of child abuse and neglect, so please don't click if that is something that is triggering for you.

I'll be honest and say that i was one of the few people who just originally assumed Kaiser was this rich pompous kid like Reo who's parents probably just neglected him because they were so rich, which is WHY he spends so much time trying to not only be the best but look the best.

But now that we know the truth, and that he actually had what is arguably the WORST childhood out of any of the Blue Lock boys, I think this backstory makes far more sense than what I originally thought.

Kaiser has always been one of the most egotistical players on the field, and I don't think he's ever had moments where he genuinely doubts himself outside of when he's trying to beat Isagi. But we never knew where that ego came from and why he's so hellbent on surpassing everyone. I definitely think growing up in a poverty stricken abusive household with a parent who cares nothing for you would definitely morph your sense of identity into something more than a healthy level of egotism.

And here we can even see an explanation for how Kaiser and Ness got such an unhealthy codependent relationship from the jump. It's not Ness that's the "problem" it's Kaiser (Shocking turn of events wow) Kaiser used soccer as an emotional outlet from the abuse his father subjected him too, but it's the only thing he really has to ground him since he has always been hyper-independent from early childhood.

Kaiser's backstory is interesting because unlike the other Blue Lock boys who's main issue was that they were either too good for soccer, or that the people they played soccer with couldn't keep up, Kaiser's issue was that he ONLY had soccer.

He had no one to compete with and no one to befriend, and his only way of dealing with his home life is by playing alone.

I think this really explains why he treats Ness like a grounding tool or someone to satiate his own ego and worries. He's literally not used to having friends like everyone else, and the one person he did befriend is just as socially stunted as he is. So their relationship just became toxic the more they obsessed over their own personal goals. Kaiser's goal is to become the best, and Ness' goal is to see Kaiser become the best, but when faced with road blocks in their goals they don't know how to handle it all and they immediately end up spiraling.

Kaiser also just doesn't have any healthy coping mechanisms outside of soccer because it is both his goal and his reason for living. So when someone like Isagi who's just an enigma to him stops him in his tracks from being able to succeed, he doesn't have anything after that. If soccer is his coping mechanism but it is also tied into his goals, he can't play it to 'feel better' because it'll just remind him of how he lost or how he's not as good as he should be right now.

I think this panel also explains his whole "choking" thing that Ness walked in on. Now that we also know the origin of the blue rose as well, I find it to be really sad that this symbol of the impossible has been revealed to be tied so heavily with the abuse he faced as a child. It makes the scene where he's choking himself seem less like him trying to "focus" more like he went to also punish himself for being "inadequate".

Even in the panels above where his dad is literally choking him for no reason, his father is telling him how he is worthless and useless etc. It definitely puts into perspective his mindset when he was harming himself.

All this to say that Kaiser has internalized his trauma to a dangerous degree if the current state of his mind is anything to go off of.

[shippingmyworld]

What are your headcanons on how Danny and Sam's relationship ended? I'm interested on how you see Danny's background because I really like how you write him! He's just so *devours him in the way an animal would eat meat and leaves a clean bone behind*

A wild animal devouring a corpse, to my writing? *sniffles* that's so kind of you to say =D

I kinda touched on how I think the Sam x Danny ship sunk a little bit in this ask here, but your ask got me thinking about it again. I've gone a bit more into detail below the cut (apologies for the word vomit because it's a lot lol)

There are a few factors that I think played into the ending of Sam and Danny's relationship, but I think the biggest part of it would be that Sam takes a step away from ghost hunting as time goes gone. I mentioned that I think Danny and Sam's relationship lasted like 4 months tops following the shows finale. That's because I think that big ghost activity died down following Phantom Planet. There's an unspoken truce that holds between the Ghost Zone and Amity Park for a while. Ghosts still cross over now and then to fulfill their desires and feed of human emotions, but the haunting stuff is mostly harmless now (i.e., Ember crashes a few open mic nights to play music, Lunch Lady breaks into restaurants right before opening to do kitchen prep work, Box Ghost rearranges the contents of warehouses overnight to his own liking). Since this stuff is all sort of juvenile annoyance now, Tucker and Sam don't really need to tag along to help Danny. In fact, most of the time that they do tag along, Danny just has to frown at the offending ghost and they'll begrudgingly fly themselves back to the Ghost Zone without a fight.

Now that ghost hunting is more or less 'boring' and require no effort from Tucker and Sam, they start focusing on their own things. I think that with Sam's personality, she wouldn't want to simply ride through life on her families wealth. She'd want to double down on her studies and get into a college that could help her get out and actually make a change in the world (I personally see her trying to get a double degree in Sustainably Sciences and Zoology or something so she can work with endangered animals and better their society for the environment). I think Tucker would be the type of person to try and capitalize on how fast technology and social media is growing and try and make his living that way. The show takes place vaguely between 2005 and 2009, when stuff like YouTube is in its infancy after all. I personally feel that with his personality (and vanity), he'd absolutely eat up the attention being an internet personality naturally comes with and would want to dedicate himself fully to cultivating it.

Inadvertently, cutting down on ghost hunting to focus on their own desires means that they're cutting also down on Danny time.

When Tucker turns down a ghost hunt with Danny the first time, it doesn't affect Danny that much. After all, their relationship hasn't changed. They're still best friends, and they've had years to get to know each other. When Sam however, turns down Danny the first time, it becomes a very big deal and strikes painfully in Danny's heart in a way he wasn't expecting. After all, their relationship as a couple is still new at this point. Being boyfriend and girlfriend is still uncharted waters. Danny expected some change, but Sam acting the same as normal makes him start to question if this is the kind of romantic relationship he wants.

Danny is over-protective (Jazz with Johnny 13, Sam with Gregor, Maddie with Vlad), which I believe is a sign that Danny is codependent to a slightly unhealthy degree. He wouldn't be aware of this facet of his personality at this point in time, simply because Tucker and/or Sam have always been at his side when it came to ghost hunting. But once Sam innocently sends him off to deal with the hunt on his own (she thinks nothing of it, just that she's really got to get home and study for this test next week), Danny's perception of Sam changes. He becomes hyperaware that she's her own human person, with her own dreams and ambitions that are different from his own.

It's not immediate, but the intrusive thoughts start to fester in the back of his mind. Sam can simply step away from ghost activity when she wants to. Hell, she could move out of Amity Park and away from this ghost hot spot (which she will probably do with her ambition of wanting to change the world). Danny however, can't. He'll literally always be aware of ghost activity, no matter where he is, because he himself is half-ghost. Doesn't that mean that Sam might chose to step away from him one day? If she wants to take a break from ghosts, then that means she wants a break from Danny, doesn't it? Danny doesn't voice these concerns though, letting them warp his thoughts and perceptions until it quickly becomes a 'fact' inside his head that Sam will leave him one day. He'll realize that he doesn't want Sam to walk out of his life because she's important to him, which only gives him more reason to not communicate these feelings because that will accelerate her departure.

However, that opens up a whole new can of worms because why is she someone that's just 'Important to him?' Doesn't he love her? Yes, absolutely, she's irreplaceable. But does that mean he loves her romantically, or platonically? Is she just a convenient replacement for the lingering affections he had for Valarie (yes but he won't admit it)? The longer he lets himself think about it and reflect on what he wants out of a romantic relationship, the more he will close himself off because he doesn't want to accidentally say the wrong thing and lose Sam.

Sam however, isn't as dense as Danny thinks she is. She quickly notices that something is bothering him. However, the first few times she tries broaching the subject, Danny shuts down. Sam will chose to drop the conversation immediately after the first rejection and wait for Danny to feel comfortable enough to share his feeling with her. However, this isn't what Danny wants. Danny wants someone that will call him on his bullshit, someone that will storm through the Ghost Zone if need be, someone as headstrong as he is that will pester him into opening up about what's bother him because that shows that they are actually concerned about his well-being.

(*Cough* Manny-no-tact-Rivera *Cough*)

It's not enough for someone to just physically be there with him. Danny's love language is seeing/hearing someone show concern for him, stuff like words of affirmation and choosing to actively engage and talk about both halves of his life. This is important to him, especially since I believe he's very self-conscious about the ghost half of his life. He doesn't show it, but all hatred the town and his parents showed towards ghosts in his early years deeply affected him; he wants someone to talk to about this half of his life because it will make him more comfortable with himself.

Since Sam believes the right thing to do is back down, this causes more strife their relationship. And what's terrible about it isn't because they don't like each other, it's simply because their perceptions of a healthy relationship are fundamentally different and they haven't been able to communicate this to each other. Danny believes that a good relationship is a partnership with both partners willingly engage and are involved in pretty much every aspect of each other's lives; whereas Sam believes that each person in the relationship should be independent to a large degree and respect the boundaries that their partner sets.

Incidentally, Danny subconsciously puts a pin this train of thought and references it later when questioning his own sexuality; when he's reflecting on it all later (once the dust from his and Sam's breakup settles) he realizes that the gender of the person he's with doesn't matter to him. What matters to him is everything above (I headcanon Danny as identifying as Demisexual and Biromantic).

As time goes on, Sam and Danny's relationship continues to sour. Just like how Danny's letting his emotions and intrusive thoughts fester, Sam is too. She's starting to get upset that Danny's not sharing whatever is bothering him with her. Does that mean he doesn't trust her enough to be vulnerable and honest with her? Again, neither person is communicating this with each other, and they start to not enjoy each other's company.

Then, the whole thing comes to a head during a trio game night. Tucker, Sam, and Danny are playing an online co-op. Sam and Danny can't seem to get it together, resulting in Tucker going 1v3 against the enemy team. When Tucker asks why their coordination sucks, Sam's annoyance with losing the game will make her remark about how Danny needs to communicate more when something is bothering him (referring to the fact he's getting spawn camped, but also their relationship). Danny shots back a remark about how she needs to be more aware of when something is happening to her team and stop focusing solely on her own task (the spawn camper and their relationship again). The passive-aggressive remarks escalate until it becomes a full blown shouting match and eventually they end up saying they both think they should break up mid-match.

Meanwhile poor Tucker is just sitting there listening to them argue on headset like:

I already mentioned in the other ask that Danny and Sam would eventually reconcile, talk, and remain friends (thanks to Tucker getting annoyed at them) so I won't retype all that here. Instead, I'm going to throw in that I think following the break-up, Danny would lean much heavier into his friendship with Tucker.

I think Danny would ugly cry in Tucker's arms following his breakup with Sam, believing that he's forever lost someone important that's been in his life since second grade (and as a high school teenager barely 15 years old at this point, that's pretty much his entire life). He basically lets everything he was holding back from Sam spill to Tucker in the most dramatic version emotional sobbing. Tucker's gotta verbally reassure him that he's not going to walk out of Danny's life, even if he becomes some techno billionaire one day. This does actually help Danny calm down and start to think rationally again, instead of emotionally.

In fact, this sob session is what start Tucker on the path to wanting to make his friends reconcile again because he knows that the whole situation came about from poor communication. When he does get Sam and Danny to talk it out, it ends up being one of those really deep conversation you have at slumber parties at like 3am when no one can sleep. They end up talking about the future they all want, what they all value in their lives, and basically reaffirming their friendship with each other. Sam and Danny agree that what they want out of a romantic relationship with someone is fundamentally different, so they should just be friends instead. They also agree they both have some unhealthy habits, and that they will call each other on them should they ever see the other person fall into them again.

Tucker meanwhile says this will make great content for his channel, and Sam and Danny both instantly turn on Tucker and says they'll sue if he uploads anything about them.

[fatuifucker]

third stream: desire for approval

[art cr: kuroume_1024 on twt]

bratty trans! streamer! scaramouche x dom fem-sex reader (they/them pronouns used for reader)

SUMMARY = how far would you go for attention?

WARNINGS = please view the sucker series masterlist for the full warnings! smut, penetration (reader giving), brat taming, asphyxiation, boobplay, use of the word “cunt”, use of pet name "angel" + "cumslut" + similar language, scara has nipple and navel piercings, womb tattoo, lingerie, self-sexualisation, codependence, unhealthy relationship, suicide ideation, self-harm, gender dysphoria, transphobia, attempted self-mutilation, implied domestic abuse

W/C = 2.6k

A/N = my word count is getting higher and higher be proud of me!! i was actually intending on writing a valentine's fic instead but uh ig you can take this as the late valentine's day fic instead lol. this may be my last x reader for a while for i would like to focus on more character x character. there are some zines im interested in participating and i want to have fics that i can use for my portfolio bc i don't think character x readers do good for zines lol oh yeah also little shoutout to the usernames featured in scara's stream!!

TAGS = @midnxght-sweet-time, @barbatosfavouritenun, @edenialucas, @huboi, @nejibot, @yumixxn, @teallapril

P-chan should be cute, pretty, handsome. Appearance-wise, they are perfect. Their gender doesn't matter but I want someone with a body like mine. I don't like nuisances so they have to be calm and collected. They have to be rational so they can comfort me and stop me from making impulsive decisions.

I want them to be independent but not too independent. They'll need me to command them like a pet. Maybe like a bunny? They could be that innocent-looking type but is secretly horny for me hehe. I'll have to work out the details later. But it's fine even if they are unsure about their personality. People like that tend to rely on the self-assured more. Maybe I could even dress up in the clothes I can't wear.

They won't be able to live without me.

—

“Ohh…it’s soh gud,” Scara moans, her tongue trailing up the melting popsicle before sucking on it. “Mmm…I might get addicted...”

The stream chat floods with comments; majority of it being provocative remarks. Just the reaction she intended. Although Scara hates to be sexualised by her fans, she knows that suggestive content rakes up the viewer count the fastest.

Almost halfway to a month, yet she hasn’t even reached half a million yet. She doesn’t have much time so even if that means that she has to whore herself like this…

“Mmm it’s sticking all over my fingers…” Scara licks the vanilla cream off her fingers, exaggerating her noises as she continues sucking on the popsicle. “It’s a good thing I took off my gloves. Or else it would have been allll over me.”

cauldron-of-anon: you know what else is creamy and drips all over

eunchaeluvr: I LOVE ICE CREAM

bubiblossom: god Im so happy I was born

cinshaberu: big…

leefrfr: that looks good

yourmomsucksme: YESYESYESYESYES

vermillionbun: THANK YOU SCARA

Scara giggles as she licks a strip up the popsicle. Hm, but it’s about time she ended the stream. All this sugary sweet stuff is cloying…ugh. She finishes the popsicle sensually and cleans her hands with a wet wipe.

“Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. I have to meet up with a friend so I’ll respond to the superchats another time.” Scara blows a kiss, mouse hovering over the ‘end stream’ button. “So long suckers!”

—

You’ve reached another milestone today. It’s funny how the other day, both you and Kunihiko were worried about his stagnancy. Today, he has surpassed 50k subscribers. Since this genre of streams garners the most viewers, maybe it’s okay to ask him to do more sexy streams. Probably not too much though. You don’t want Scara to come out as just another female streamer selling her body for clout. Conspiracy theories seem to do well…that goes for her ‘Scara Tries Things’ series. You’ll have to make her work harder these upcoming days, especially since she’s been slacking off lately. You’ve been trying not to push Kuni too hard but—

You blink as your phone is snatched away from you. “You’re still doing work?”

“Yes, that’s my job as your producer.” You stare at Kuni.

Your boyfriend scowls, grabbing your forearm. “Right now I need you to do your job as my partner.”

You don’t make any effort to resist as Kuni drags you like a ragdoll, grunting when he tosses you onto the bed. You sit there, waiting for Kuni to finish changing and give you your orders for the night. In the meantime, you occupy yourself by looking around.

Kuni didn’t have any requests for a themed room so you chose a classy one. The room was laden with rich reds and blacks, a jacuzzi and a drawer stocked with condoms, lube, all the essentials. In truth, it looked like any expensive hotel room, except that the fee for this one was much cheaper that any 5 star hotel. The good thing about love hotels is that they are soundproof — meaning Kuni is going to make you fuck him all night so he can savour the experience of moaning as loud as he wants without alerting the neighbours. Speaking of which, he wanted you to wear something, didn’t he? It should be the one on the table…

Unveiling the contents of the paper bag reveals an angel-themed lingerie set. The bodysuit is made out of fine white satin, decorated with ribbons at the shoulder straps, tulle around the hips, and etched with cloud patterns. Matching the set of white ribbon garters are sheer cloud-covered unattached sleeves that look like it extends past your elbows, looping around the middle finger to partially cover the top of your hands and leaving the rest bare. Without batting an eye, you shed your clothes off and dress yourself in the gifted outfit.

“Are you done?” Kuni calls from the bathroom after a few minutes.

“Yes.”

You sit on the bed, watching as your boyfriend exit the bathroom. A devilish grin rests on his carmine-lined lips as he sashays in black stilettos. He’s dressed head to toe in black leather — from the bodysuit, to the arm sleeves and stockings — but the bodysuit specifically emits a sort of polychromatic glow, shifting to a shimmering purple under the fluorescent light. The whole outfit hugs his body tight, squeezing his body in certain areas that pulls attention to the exposed skin spilling out his thighs and his chest… Your gaze darts back to his eyes, heart thumping upon realising that he is right in front of you.

Kuni chuckles. “What? You embarrassed?” He takes your hand, placing it on his chest. “Don’t be. I wore this just for you, you know?” Entranced, your eyes follow the movements of his other hand, watching as he unzips the zip on his waist, pushing down the waistband to display the pink, heart-shaped tattoo on his pelvis; resembling those typical womb tattoos you see in hentai. “You’re my sweet, obedient angel. And you’re going to reward this naughty succubus for working so hard for the both of us.” Kuni shoves you down on the bed, letting you sit in your state of shock as he purrs into your ear. "Get your toys. They are on the bedside table."

Sure enough, there's your bullet vibrator and buttplug; the ones Kuni asked you to bring today. You turn the motor to its maximum speed, goosebumps all over your skin as it makes contact with your sex. Next goes the plug, which you make sure to lubricate before inserting it into your puckered hole. When you lift your head, Kuni’s stinging violet gaze is locked upon you, a smirk on his carmine lips as he plays with his covered clit. You immediately turn your attention down, removing his underwear with hurried fingers and latching onto the swollen bub.

Soft thighs wrap around your head as your tongue switches its focus on his leaky cunt. Juices drip all over your tongue as you dive into him, eating him like a gourmet buffet. The whir of the vibrator reverberates off the insulated walls, rousing the fire in your groin that stupefies you into shaking your ass, savouring the sensation of your hole squeezing around the plug. Your eyes flit back up to your lover, his lust-filled eyes fixed onto you. His cunt oozes with ambrosial nectar, and you lap it up like a starved creature, goaded by his saccharine moans. A squeal reveals the arrival of his high, manicured nails digging into the sheets before vitality deserts him, leaving him laying limp on the bed.

The strained, rapid breaths becomes the only source of sound in the room once the motor is turned off. What fills the space of silence is rustling, followed by a click and then followed by a wet noise of viscous liquid. Kuni spreads his legs as your body hovers over him, a tired look on his face. He senses your hesitation.

“Don’t give that look,” he sneers. “I already gave you permission to ruin me. Unless…” he juts his bottom lip out, eyebrows lowered in a display of mockery. “you’re backing away now because you realised you can’t do it. No matter how cool, calm and controlled you think you are, I’m the one who holds dominion over you. Without my orders, you’re hopeless. You don’t know what to do because I’m the one who holds the power. Without me, you’re— ah!!”

His back arches into a crescent as the strap spears him without warning. Without giving him time to adjust, you’re grinding your hips against his, slamming the cock in and out while he cries in pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes! Use me! Break me! Fix me! Oh god, please, please, please—!”

The force of your thrusts jostles Kuni against the bed, incandescent light shifting the polychromatic purples of his collar that just beckon you to wrap your hand around the thin neck. The added pressure around his neck makes him mewl in delight, hands guiding your free hand up his hips, past his navel piercing, and landing on his chest.

“Touch my boobs…” he rasps.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to order me around,” you say with a bite in your voice, tugging on one of his nipple piercings to make him squeak. “Do I have to punish you for your insolence?” Nonetheless, you turn your attention to his chest, peppering it with kisses and hickeys, suckling on his nipples, all to make the little brat writhe under you. 

“(Name)...” he whines. “Punish me, ruin me, I don’t care! I don’t care about anything as long as you need me— aah…think of me and no one else! Want only me, love only me, love me, love me, love— haaah~!! I’m cumming, I’m—!”

His orgasm is signified by a shower of translucent strings streaming out of his soaked cunt, essence staining the floor and sheets in splatters. Kuni wheezes for air once you release the hold on his neck, arms wrapping around you as he basks in the momentary peace.

“Are you okay? Was I too rough?”

“I…I can do it again…” he says in between breaths, pushing himself up with his elbows. “Come on, I’m your…I’m your succubus, aren’t I? You…you have to punish me…”

You shrink back. “Kuni, I really think you need a break—”

A sudden weight thrown onto you interrupts your monologue. You blink, seeing your smirking boyfriend has switched positions with you; with you now underneath him while he’s on top of you.

“Oh I’m much stronger than you think. This body is curated for you…for all of your desires and wants. So, do your worse,” He cusps your cheek, lips covering over yours. “and dig in.”

Kuni kisses you with fervour, determined to infect you with his lust. An unwelcome sense of unease churns instead.

—

The sharp pain makes Kuni's body tingle with adrenaline, foggy eyes watching scarlet sanguine spill out the wound. His chest rises and falls as he pants, shaking fingers bringing the bloodied blade to slash an untouched portion on his wrist. He lets the high consume him, a penumbra that suppresses the emotional turmoil threatening to boil over the messed up pot that is him. Yet that high is all-consuming, and it begs for more. Cloudy indigos flit up to the mirror, a blurry figure reflecting back his ugly existence and that ugly chest that proves of his inferiority as a man.

"Cut your hair? But you’re the most beautiful with long hair."

"Where did you get those shorts? A pretty girl like you should wear dresses."

"Why does she dress like that?”

"Huh? But…you’re a girl."

Shut up, shut up.

”Kuniko, do you really think that anyone in this world will accept you as a boy?”

Shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shut up—

"Do you want to bleed out?"

Kuni ignores the way his raised hand trembles, grumbling as he glares at the person standing by the door. "Wasn't intending to. But if I die from blood loss, it wouldn’t be a bad thing either."

"I would be upset." You take a step forward, stopping when he inches the razor closer to his chest. "You know, if you wanted to get rid of them, we could always visit a professional. Surgery would be safer–"

“Do you think I give a shit about my safety?!” Kuni screams, beads of tears pouring like a waterfall. “I want to die! I don’t want to exist anymore, why don’t you get it?!”

“What makes you think that I don’t?”

“You…you…” Kuni swallows, his dry mouth making speech a burden.

“Maybe I don’t want to live either," You say. "but I still want you to survive.”

Kuni laughs dryly. “How selfish of you.”

“How ironic of you of all people to say that."

He doesn’t respond to that.

“I need you just as much as you need me. We can’t survive without each other.”

“I know.”

“I’m here because you want me to stop you. You want me to make you feel better.”

“...Yes.”

“How do you want me to do that?"

“...Hold me."

A trace of warmth swathes him; barely there but still enough. Kuni leans against the cold wall, quiet sobs echoing through the tiny room, caged in this claustrophobic space. The air is cold and suffocating, but he knows it will be okay because you’re here. It will be okay, because (Name) is here. (Name) is always with me. (Name) can never leave me. He closes his eyes, letting your gentle scent waft into his nose. He takes apart the scent: an amalgamation of lavender, sandalwood and sage, like the aromatherapy candles he lights. If he focuses, he can feel your warm, calming breaths brushing against his ear, reminding him that you’re there. You’ll always be there for him, and nothing will change that. It takes a while but slowly, his breaths even out, settling into a steady cadence.

You let go of him. His eyes are fixed on the floor.

“Are you okay?” You ask, caressing his dishevelled locks.

His gaze doesn’t leave the floor. “I can handle more than this.”

The sound of muffled shouting interrupts the quiet conversation. Kuni winces, looking at the direction of the disturbance. He recognises the voices but tunes out the repetitive string of words, palms cupping his ears while his back slides down the wall. The voices get louder and louder, accompanied by clashes of porcelain and the collide of wood against other household objects. He doesn’t register that he’s shaking until the familiar warmth surrounds him again.

“Let’s watch KAngel.”

—

[You received a text from Kuniku<3!]

Kuniku<3: (name)

Kuniku<3: ur asleep right?

Kuniku<3: couldnt sleep so i went out for a walk lol

Kuniku<3: i brought along the switchblade u bought me

Kuniku<3: in case a perv wants to catch a case hehe

[Kuniku<3 is typing…]

Kuniku<3: hey

Kuniku<3: you know i hate being alone right?

Kuniku<3: whenever you leave me for too long

Kuniku<3: im afraid that you realised you dont need me after all

Kuniku<3: i have to rely on you

Kuniku<3: but do you still need me?

Kuniku<3: or do i have to make you depend on me more?

[Kuniku<3 is typing…]

Kuniku<3: i want to disappear

Kuniku<3: i want to die

[Message Deleted]

Kuniku<3: hope my favourite cumslut got a good rest <3

Kuniku<3: i’ve been doing a good job right? sooo u will give me a break right?

Kuniku<3: i took the liberty of picking date ideas so what do u wanna do??

[Your answer]

[uwushitsuji]

Reading black butler again as an adult, I find myself thinking a lot the sexualization of Sebastian and Ciel's relationship. I was expecting to feel disgusted but.... Morals aside, I feel from a narrative standpoint, it actually works?

We all know most sebaciel scenes are fanservice, Yana used to draw yaoi, the anime was sold as "shonen-ai" etc etc It's 2024 there's no point to debate that over and over again.

But is that fanservice unnecesary? At least in the manga, I dont think so. For the better or for the worse, it does serve a purpose. It defines the entire relationship of the main characters.

Just to make it clear, I think their relationship is very sexual, but not in a literal *they have sex* way. Sex is associated with love, intimacy, passion, desire, but also with violence, possesiveness, domination.

You could get rid of all the "weird fanservice", but that would destroy the complexity of their relationship. It would become either a story about two characters that don't care about each other, or a bland "wholesome" one.

Ciel, despite all his trauma, feels comfortable exposing his body to Sebastian. Having physical contact with someone. Showing his vulnerable self, because he's absolutely confident he won't be hurt.

Sebastian is always close to Ciel. Even too close. And the weird way he carries Young Master. It's clearly unappropiate and he doesn't seem to care about boundaries. Because Ciel is what he desires the most, and he *owns* him. Ciel is his treasure, his prize, his most precious possesion. Ciel is *his*. He's always being possesive, showing the world Ciel belongs *only* to him, while also being (somehow) gentle and caring.

(The topic of how Sebastian uses his sexuality as a weapon is pretty interesting as well, but not today!!)

Surprisingly, the fanservice does wonders to develop the duality of their dynamics. It perfectly showcases both the "light" and "dark" between them. Intimacy, healing, confidence absolute trust, caring for each other. Codependency, unhealthy desire, possesiveness, manipulation.

They're two sides of the same coin.

On the other hand, in contrast with Sebastian and Ciel's relationship, I think it's interesting how scenes involving real sex are not sexualized at all??

Sebastian and Beast are both really attractive characters, and they could be used in a more "fanservicey" way. However, their scene together it's short and uncomfortable. The intimacy between them feels fake, everything seems off. Beast doesn't look like he's actually enjoying anything. It's pretty clear she's being abused, and thanks Goodness there's no romantization nor explicit borderline fetish content. Instead, it does a great a job creating a "something is wrong here" atmosphere.

The Blue Memory flashback. It's disgusting and makes me physically ill, but it's able to do so without being explicit. It's really powerful without being morbid. Absolutely no fanservice here. Thanks Goodness again.

Like in real life, in Black Butler sexuality can be a safe place (Ciel and Sebastian), or a source of violence and pain.

Imo Yana is a better writer than you all give her credit for. She may be a shotacon or whatever, but at least she is coherent with the overall tone of her story and can be respectful when it's due. Despite all the fanservice at some points, I feel she's great at knowing when to do or not do it.

At the end of the day, I find fascinating how sex and sexualization are used in Black Butler. Sebastian and Ciel's relationship has nothing to do with sex, yet is so intense that I could argue that rather than being sexualized, their entire relationship is inherently sexual per se. If you remove that element from the equation, the main characters would be so different that the nature of the entire story would change.

The "fanservice" is not only fanservice, but what moves the characters and story foward.

Is it ethical?? That's up to you.

But for me, even if there are some uncomfortable moments, the result is worth it. A relationship so unique that you can't "tag" it. Both unhealthy and abusive, yet a safe place for Ciel to heal. It's problematic on several levels, but *that*is what makes it interesting.

Anyway, it's just fiction, and it's nice to explore different kinds of stories without hurting anyone.

[qprstobin]

I'm getting really tired of all these posts complaining about stobin being too codependent and unhealthy. Not because i don't think that sometimes they are written as too codependent, but because the posts always seem to be because some of us write them as ya know, being each other's most important person and making life decisions together.

I'm an arospec person who views and writes stobin as a Queer Platonic Relationship. I really don't appreciate people claiming I and others who see them the same way are making them too "codependent" by writing them doing things together that would be considered normal and sweet if it was a romantic relationship.

Part of it is that qprs are actual relationships! That's literally what a qpr is, it is having a committed relationship with someone platonically, to the extent you might live together, make life decisions together, etc. You can still date outside of that ofc if you are inclined to romance and it's agreed upon, just like any other relationship, but it is just that! A relationship!

Another part of it is that in my experience, despite all the fandom jokes about them, a majority of fic only really has their friendship included as a way to prop up one of their individual storylines, or they are there to be a wingman. It is basically impossible to filter fics in a way to find anything friendship centric for them. Ive also closed out of so many fics because writers will fuck up their friendship just so one of the characters has a reason to spend time with their love interest.

So rarely do you see canon friendships that genuinely read like they could be qprs, that it makes these posts even more frustrating. They canonically spend so much time together, and are clearly very committed to each other.

Like are some of the jokes too far? Yeah that's fair, they can get a bit ridiculous. Are some of the HCS genuinely a bit unhealthy at times, even thru a QPR lens, and taking into account their trauma? Probably yes! But so are plenty of headcanons about their main romantic ships too.

It doesn't help that its honestly hard to engage with any actual posts about how the genuinely codependent jokes go too far, because so many posts with genuine complaints end up coming across as almost arophobic.

Idk, I'm just tired of being smacked in the face with posts about things being "unhealthy" because I am not prioritizing the romantic relationships over a platonic one.

[jerreeeeeee]

there's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy with a platonic relationship being the most intimate and important in someone's life (whether that person is also in a romantic relationship or not). this has been said before but people still treat it like its true. ESPECIALLY that a prioritized platonic relationship belies “codependency” even though no one would bat an eye at the exact same dynamic if it were romantic, because of the idea that a prioritized platonic relationship is somehow immature/unhealthy and something to grow out of/move on from.

the idea that the twins just go, well, you've been the person i felt safest loving and trusting in my entire life, our souls have been bound by fate and magic and our love for one another is one of the strongest bonds in the multiverse, transcending death and unimaginable loss, the motivation behind everything we’ve ever done, but since we're both in romantic relationships now and the story is over, the reasonable and in-character thing to do would be to split up and have separate nuclear families because that's the "healthy thing" (read: expected thing). there's no other form of a domestic happy ending than a marriage and typical nuclear family. you're everything to me, my entire world, my heart, see you later.

ok this got too long i'm putting it under a readmore.

(also why i don't really like the idea that taako adopts angus. "parent" is not the only important, loving role an adult can play in a child's life but people feel that need to shove everything into a nuclear family. also taako has too much going on to be the good parent that angus needs anyway. and magnus and lucretia are right there. but this is another post <- this is actually a fan fiction i’m writing, kind of)

i just find that frankly silly. i truly believe that the twins live together for the rest of their lives and are always each others' most important person (before anyone kills me i do think barry is there too. they also both love him so much. capacity for love INCREASES there’s no need for a replacement or a “moving on” it’s an addition). there's not any reason they wouldn't live together other than that it’s not “normal?” but why would they give a shit about that. their prioritization of one another isn't the unhealthy thing about their relationship. they do have other stuff going on that's actually codependent, but i think they eventually work past it and come to have a healthier (yet no less close) relationship. actually this post was originally just supposed to be about those codependent tendencies but i felt like i needed to compensate by clarifying that there are only a very specific few things abt their dynamic i find unhealthy and that by and large they’re fine, actually.

the main thing is, as is so succinctly put in this post—they aren't able to communicate about big, important decisions. not to say they never communicate about anything, i think they actually do communicate effectively about a lot of things—warning i’m going into a complete tangent here—i see a lot an idea that they’re not siblings who hug or really verbalize affection at all which is crazy to me (<- personal opinion alert) like they’re closed off and distrusting (taako more than lup, but she’s certainly not exempt from their trauma) to other people and the world at large but they have always always been each other’s exception, each other’s utmost safe place, the one person they could be absolutely comfortable around, who they never have to be afraid of. that’s one of the things i find so compelling about them, that they trust each other with their entire selves. they have no reason to ever feel defensive around each other. oh to be known so entirely and intimately and never feel ashamed or afraid of judgement or abandonment. augh. so i do think they hug.

also—i don't think they "don't know how to be a person without each other" like that's certainly not true for lup and i don't really think it's true for taako either. they have their own distinct personalities and identities they just also both inform each others’ lives. they're an integral part of each other's identity the way your family or best friend or partner or most important person in your life is but again i think that's fine.

but back to the topic at hand anyway they DO hide their misgivings from each other when it comes to huge shit with world-changing, life-threatening consequences lol. when it comes to, like, turning herself into a lich, or leaving to recover her dangerous magical artifact, lup feels like she needs to be entirely decisive and confident for taako, and when it comes to his sister turning herself into a lich, or proposing a dangerous magical artifact plan, taako feels like he needs to be unflinchingly supportive and loyal for lup. and those both backfire obviously. because they trust each other so completely that they don't trust each other enough to not trust each other. weird paradox.

but really its not a lack of trust in each other its their own insecurities projected onto each other. lup second guesses herself but feels like she can’t express that uncertainty so she’s alone with her doubts which increases the pressure and stress and creates a feedback loop that only makes her more insecure. and taako feels like he doesn’t have anything to bring to the table other than backing up lup and is afraid doubting her would hurt her which means he never has an opportunity to find out he does actually have good ideas and that lup would listen to him constructively. but it manifests in lup “not trusting taako” to have her back even if she doubts herself and taako “not trusting lup” to take criticism even if his idea is good.

and honestly i think the solution to this just comes with… not being in those lifethreatening situations anymore. the universe was saved and they have normal (magical fantasy world) lives. so now when they’re hiding things from each other the stakes are a lot lower. and when the stakes are lower they’re able to express uncertainty because they don’t feel that extreme and terrifying pressure anymore. lup doesn’t have to make impossible decisions and stick to them despite any doubt because she doesn’t have the survival of entire worlds on her back anymore. taako doesn’t have to always agree with lup and uncritically support her every choice because he’s not the only thing holding her together from oblivion anymore. so they're able to express doubts and nothing falls apart and they're actually stronger for it. and they’re already doing so much work on fixing their relationship just from being separated and kinda grieving for a decade too, so they eventually work past that.

and also because they have to face those insecurities and their consequences. lup got trapped in umbrella limbo for a decade and taako had his life destroyed. if lup had been able to overcome her need to put everything on her shoulders and expressed uncertainty, if taako had been able to overcome his blind loyalty and expressed doubt, would they have gone through with the relics? would they have even gone through with the lich plan? they realize only afterward that they should’ve talked about it, and so they learn from their mistakes.

another tangent—isn’t it so crazy how, by any standard, lup should be the strongwilled, passionate, heroic protagonist and taako her cynical, pragmatic, yet loyal sidekick? and yet he’s the protagonist and she the supporting character in the actual narrative? so subversive and intriguing. i cant believe this was all masterfully and purposefully written. anyway. (<- in the in-universe metanarrative version of the story, lup [and honestly, probably davenport] is the tragic ghost who haunts the narrative and lucretia & barry are the morally gray protagonist foils, and tres horny boys are supporting characters/comic relief who go on to have their own semi-important b-plot arcs that ultimately serve to further the protagonists’ arcs. btw.)

back to the twins. i also think they don't only grow post-canon, i think they grow a LOT during the century, because in the beginning, they're coming from a life where they have been not only the most important people in each other's lives, but the ONLY people in each other's lives. and now they're suddenly faced with more people, which they handle fine individually, more or less—lup is faster to warm up to the others, but even though taako's attitude is very much that he only cares about him and his, he is capable of expanding the people who are "his" (eventually). but they've never had to bring other people into their dynamic with each other before.

i don't think either of them are possessive, their relationship is built on deepest mutual respect and love and trust and "possessiveness" is kinda antithetical to that, but they can both be jealous on occasion. although there is a difference—lup is the only one who will outwardly display jealousy (and maybe a better word than jealousy would be insecurity), again because of the dynamic earlier: taako must always support whatever decisions lup makes without question. so when taako dies one cycle and all of a sudden merle and magnus and everyone else grieve him too, lup feels a sense of ownership over grief (not over taako himself, but over loving taako, just because no one else ever really has before, and she’s never had to think about the possibility that he might love other people too) that she initially may not challenge but does eventually let go of, because it's actually a good thing that other people love him now, and bringing new people into their family doesn’t make their love for each other any less. and taako has a similar experience but tbh i think its a little easier for him bc, like, who wouldn’t love lup, and lup loves other people way more freely than taako does (still not super freely, its a low bar). not that lup thinks taako is unloveable OBVIOUSLY (taako does think he’s unloveable tho) i just think they have different attitudes abt it, like they both have the moments of “but you don’t love them as much as i do!!” which is true, no one loves them as much as they do, but taako’s more willing to let that shit go bc he just doesn’t care as much what the others do as long as they don’t fuckin bother him about it. like lup sees the others equate (as she sees it, but oc they’re not actually grieving At Her) their (comparatively shallow) grief to her world-shattering loss of her best friend, only family, soulmate, silly rabbit, and she gets angry about it, but taako’s reaction is more like, “ok they’re stupid. who cares.” meanwhile and more importantly, all of a sudden lup is falling in love with barry, but taako's not one to throw a fit or demand that he's the only one who can love lup nor the only one lup can love. she’s made her decision. he just gives barry advice and lets it quietly hurt and draws distant, because he has a deep seated fear of abandonment that is now, for the first time, clashing with his unshakable trust in lup. and their relationship irrevocably changes but maybe not for the worse, because taako has, for the first time, doubted lup, a disruption to their typical (codependent) dynamic. but, of course, in the end his fears are unfounded and lup pulls him back in, because their capacity for love increases—of course lup still loves him just as much and yknow what, so does barry, and so does the rest of the crew. so he doubts and fears and is proven wrong. and so they grow and change, and their world increases from two to seven.

but that doubt doesn’t really go away for a long time, exacerbated and strained the more lup keeps secrets (especially with barry) until it reaches a head when lup finally doubts taako and does truly abandon him. but again, of course, never on purpose and never forever, they find their way back to each other despite everything and, again, come away stronger for it. the idea that the twins’ relationship is never as close again after story and song is so fucking tragic and heartrending but really i just think its unrealistic. because the rift between them is what caused their pain in the first place, of course they wouldn’t just shrug and move on. they would do anything for each other, including a lot of difficult emotional work and healing. for a little while they do have to deal with the reality that they’re not as close as they were. but they can be again. it just takes time and effort.

but anyway just to drive my point home—we mostly see taako's side of it since he is the protagonist in the real world narrative, but lup is always, always positioned within that narrative as his most important person. (and even then, lup says as much for taako! she loves barry of course but she loves taako so much he’s her heart!!) when thb see their lives after the hunger in paloma's prophecy, taako sees himself cooking with lup. she's textually representative of healing and joy in his future, and she's the main character present in his epilogue too. she's his greatest loss and his greatest love, positioned in exactly the same place as julia and merle's kids. there are a myriad of love stories going on in balance and a myriad of love stories involving taako that are all beautiful and significant in their own right but i really do think the main one in his life is lup!!

well all that to say they’re my favorite little critters ever and i’m studying them under a microscope forever. how do you end posts

[utilitycaster]

I keep thinking abt your "'must a story have conflict?' Yes actually hope this helps" posts in the context of laudna and imogen because like. Their shippers keep saying like. "You just don't UNDERSTAND the beauty of their Perfect Relationship, the bond that Traumatized People have that makes them In Tune, so sad how you will never understand love or being with another etcetera etcetera" and it's like. what the hell are you talkinf about (they're usually the kind of ppl with weird and bad narrative ideas re: their traumas so uwu sad everyone is against them). Don't we want this relationship to be healthy and beneficial to both of them? Don't get me wrong, I love Toxic Girl Yuri fucked up tragic relationships as much as anyone else but shippers pretty clearly aren't angling for that kind of story, and neither would the trajectory of the campaign support it. The onscreen dynamic isn't even spicy enough to HAVE toxic codependency it's just. There.

what's funny is that actually my favorite era of their relationship was the "we transcend labels, you and I" thing Laudna said to Imogen. Partly bc personal aro feelings but also because THAT felt like genuine no expectations support to fall back on. The idea that they could just Be and always be It wasn't ASKING for the kind of dynamicism of a romantic relationship such and such, but now with the girlfriends thing, it feels like now there should be WAY more than what's been happening. Does any of this make sense?

Hey anon,

So I largely agree (will cover the one point of not entire agreement below). I do want to note that if you're the person who's sent me other questions recently on this topic please feel free to DM me! I think it's valid to want to voice those frustrations, and I get not wanting to do so publicly (though I think the harassment on Tumblr at least has largely died down) but also to be completely honest I have been fully in a Nein and Candela headspace with a handful of exceptions mostly relating to wiki stuff so I've been answering these anons but I'll admit it's not where my thoughts have been re: CR stuff for the past few weeks.

Anyway, I can understand the desire for a QPR or simply close friends for Imogen and Laudna! I am not aro myself, and I do enjoy a good romantic plot, but I'd rather have a well-executed story with no romance than a good story slightly marred by poorly done romance. However, it's actually really interesting to me (in a good/neutral way) that you recall it as "we transcend labels" because the actual quote (3x49, 4:52:57) is "We transcend words, you and I" and I could not stand that because my frustration has again always been that they spend a lot of time talking, and absolutely none of it communicating; they have never transcended words, they have simply not fucking used them well. More generously, I think a relationship in which a couple is on such a wavelength that they do have a sense of how the other feels without needing to talk (or read minds, in this situation) can be aspirational in real life, though again, I don't think that's actually what's going on here; but even if it were, that is not remotely interesting to watch. I truly do not give a shit in the end if relationships on the shows I watch are healthy or unhealthy provided the narrative knows what it's fucking doing and I think people who are obsessed with unproblematic wholesomeness are frankly suspect, but man, either be toxic codependent yuri or be two people trying to understand each other, instead of two people who seem to only occasionally remember that they are important to each other, and never seem to remember why.

But yes, the fact that virtually nothing has changed despite a relationship upgrade, especially in light of the relationship losing my interest as a platonic thing 30 or 40 episodes prior to them becoming a romantic couple is now thrown into more stark relief because you'd think something would change. Like, that's the thing. There was no romance; there was no plot. While I think the people who insisted from the start that CLEARLY they were already dating are the kind of people who would unironically ship my mop and broom solely on the basis of them leaning against each other next to my garbage can, at least if they had already been dating from the start a lack of forward momentum could be somewhat forgiven. I say somewhat, because Veth and Yeza were married from before the campaign or, for a platonic option, the twins were...twins from before the campaign, and both those relationships were still infinitely more complex and ever-changing and thoughtful over the course of their respective campaigns than whatever Imogen and Laudna were doing; it still, to be clear, would have been dishwater dull. But it would have been forgivably so; I would have simply politely lost interest episode 5 or whenever and moved on without saying much, whereas now there's a series of increasingly lowered bars in their wake.

So anyway, yeah. It sure is There.

[wonderr-skyy]

Shugo Chara randomly popped up in my mind today.

And it reminded me the nostalgia of not having to worry about puriteens and purity culture in the slighest.

But ikuto and Amu are like the purest funniest uno reverse card you can shove at angry puriteens!

They're like the PEEFECT bait for them! Its soo hilariously ironic. 😂

They only see the age gape, nothing else, and as such get caught in 4k, uno reversed in their faces. 🤣

But also they're only FOUR years apart! The whole "age gape" mentality is so stupid too. Four year is barely a gap at all! like Ikuto was a kid as much as Amu was.

Okay, let me rewind a bit, to explain why its bait.

So, Ikuto is affectionate to Amu. But not for the reason you think.

You see, Ikuto has a younger sister, called Utau.

Now, if you've seen the show, you probably already put the pieces together. XD

But for those who dont: Utau is very "glompy" and affectionate with her big bro, Ikuto.

And what does Ikuto do? The same thing. Yes, Ikuto is indeed treating Amu like his little sister.

He teases her, and every single person on this planet earth knows siblings tease each other.

The other times he hugs her. WHAT? You're not allowed to hug your friends & siblings now? 🤣 bahaha i swear to god, this is how stupid they sound.

Some people might be like "idk, it's a bit much". He says in one episode "I'd never do something you hate". Which means he knows her boundaries.

The amount of respectful boundaries these two have is amazing. Never seen that before. Where they explicitly tell each other "I am fine with this. I am not fine with this" and no question about it. She tells people when she doesn't like something, and whenever she said "stop", he stops. Periodt !

And isn't that just what everyone wants? Respecting boundaries is The best form of love, imo. Sign me up, hmhm <3

And (if I remember correctly, its been years guys) at the end of the series when she starts to maybe get a crush on him, he tells her to go their separate ways and gets some distance between them, being the kind and responsible boy that he is. ^-^

So yes, in the end they go their seprate ways, which to me, once again, proves how healthy their relationship was.

I'm sure you know that an unhealthy relationship would have been if they stayed together, cause then, yes, you could maybe say it's "codependent" or something.

But not here. They had the best healthiest friendship full of healthy boundaries, cute fluffy moments, and all the good stuff you could want in a ship <3 and i loved them sooooo much. <333 I knew I loved Amuto for a reason AND the are the BEST pair to troll puriteens with xDD They will in fact have absolutely no idea what they're talking about because they don't actually watch the show or even care to understand why a couple that may "look" weird, is actually one of the healthiest ever seen. 🥰

This is THE best uno reverse card of the century! For all these stuck up puriteens who, in fact, truly have no idea what they are even talking about, and in fact are just spouting nonsense to begin with. 💖

[ashtraythief]

This is kinda a weird question, but isn’t it strange that we all love fan fiction and reading romantic plot lines in them and smut and all of this but our favorite show is Supernatural, which is just this story about platonic love? I think that really drew me to the show, I’ve never seen a show that focused so heavily on platonic love, not romantic, and made that the same focus of the entire show. It’s so lovely to see. Did that draw you into the show too?

Ah, yeah. Fandom and their endless quest to make everyone bang and/or fall in love (which I say lovingly, because so do I). And I don't think it's a weird question at all.

Honestly, I started watching Supernatural for very shallow reasons. It was recommend in the “ridiculously attractive people” category of a streaming site :D The pilot was way too scary for me though and so I quit again. But then a while later, I was watching Leverage on TNT and that ep was followed by Playthings. We left the TV running and I just… got sucked into it. Obviously, I had no idea about the context, only remembered the pilot vaguely, but boy did I fall in love immediately. With them, their relationship, the humor, the love and I went right back to the beginning and forced myself to put on my big girl pants and suffer through the scary eps (yes, yes, I know, they’re not that scary, I’m a wuss) and I was so gone on them, it was ridiculous. So yeah, it was the abscence of romance i guess, because I did fall in love with their relationship. In which Playthings truly is a magnificent gem even among the riches of season two.

I think if Sam and Dean’s relationship were romantic (if they were an unrelated het couple because let’s be real, nothing else would have been on network TV seventeen years ago), I think I would have been almost as enamored. Though I don’t know how to build a relationship like that without their past. It would have needed to be grown up together in some kind of way. I think their relationship would be compelling either way, but it is definitely more compelling for not being romantic. For one I think because romance is the default setting for the all-encompassing, soulmate-type relationships, and also because it’s just so unusual? Like even for one of those fated soulmate romance stories, Sam and Dean are still weirdly intense. They’re just more. Unhealthy, codependent, whatever you want to call it, but it makes for good stories. And I think that’s beautiful.

As for why we make wincest…. Well, the shallow reason is that they’re both beautiful men and it’s fun to imagine them bang. And sometimes you gotta be shallow. But also it just seems…. logical. They want to share everything (they do almost share everything, I mean consider what they know about each other’s sex lives and how they enable each other, like Dean wanting Sam to get laid to cheer him up or Sam wanting to drag Dean to a strip club to cheer him up, like they know sexy times can make you feel better and since they can’t provide that themselves they try to find ways to at least facilitate the happy-making sexy times), they are incredibly intimate anyway, there are many instance where they are jealous of romantic partners/friends and there is an exclusive claim on the other that’s rarely relinquished. Honestly, sex is probably the only facette of an intimate interpersonal relationship that’s not covered due to the whole being related thing, but fandoms love to break taboos and explore all sorts of boundaries in transformative works, and wincest is truly the most low hanging fruit of them all. It’s right there. Dancing out of reach. The show itself plays with it, both as jokes when people mistake them as a gay couple or when Sam and Dean use couple-coded language for each other, like when Dean asks if Sam wants a divorce when they’re fighting. They also made actual wincest shippers canon. Like, I was an innocent brofan of the show when I saw The Monster at the End of the Book, and bam, wincest in my brain, like a lightbulb went off and it took up residence there because it just made so much sense. In more serious themes, other characters comment on how special or twisted their relationship is, both friends and villains alike, they sell their soul for each other (or at least try to in Sam’s case), they do or attempt to do unspeakable things to save each other, they are canon soulmates, they have an extensive repertoire of love language and love acts to show their love for and knowledge of each other, they have a whole you-are-the-most-important-thing-ever thing that goes down in a fucking church, I mean, the show makes it abundantly clear that Sam and Dean are it for each other. And so I think that it’s very natural that people go with the wincest. Even though we have to take the incest hurdle, but hey, fantasy is for the dark, transgressive stuff, right? 

At the same time, it is refreshing that the show doesn’t center romance when almost all other shows do, and I think it’s one of the reasons people do enjoy it. And once you have the magic of Sam and Dean, whether you ship wincest or not, you don’t want them to mess with that so you want the non-romance thing to stay (unless you want a certain ship to go canon of course). In conclusion, wincest just makes sense, on every level really and we just creatively want to explore that in fun ways while keeping what’s great about canon in the show. The true art of shipping, I think.

[officiallralsei]

you've mentioned that you've been thinking about a specific au lately on the blog 👀 whats the deal there

well me and @gasterofficial were talking about what would happen if gaster's version of ralsei WASN'T successfully made to be able to handle eldritch knowledge. I've discussed it before on the blog, but I have the headcanon that the light can literally burn darkners who aren't prepared for it. (this comes from spamton having quite a bit of dialogue implying that he was burned/changed in some way by the knowledge he gained.) in blogverse canon, ralsei's got very sensitive eyes because he's still recovering from his initial exposure to that knowledge.

so if he wasn't successfully built to handle more Light Exposure than your average darkner... the logical conclusion is that gaining too much knowledge would blind him. after researching, i don't think it would be full blindness as that's kind of rare, but it would impair him badly enough that he would have trouble navigating on his own.

this is a problem for gaster. he needs to have a darkner guide, and now he's got EIGHT busted little guys. ralsei's certainly clever and adaptable, but he is NOT used to functioning blind just yet and there's not much time left before the game absolutely needs to start. a functional guide is a critical necessity to save the world of deltarune. and gaster just does not have the resources to try again.

so, out of luck and out of options, gaster becomes the worlds worst Ghost Guide to assist ralsei in his Actual Guide duties. guy who tells ralsei about his surroundings and also never shuts the fuck up. and is also his ghost dad who can't be perceived by others unless they're in a truly liminal space.

so what arises is a truly dysfunctional and codependent parent-child dynamic between these two. gaster likes ralsei but like... never really gives him room to make decisions on his own since hes constantly telling him what to do. ultimately he believes ralsei just kind of has to be a means to an end, no matter how much personal affection gaster has for him, due to the nature of ralsei being Born To Save The World, and that makes their relationship deeply unhealthy. meanwhile ralsei, who is a bit traumatized from being Literally Scorched By Horrible Knowledge in the first minute of his existence, is pretty happy to just let himself be directed constantly by someone who is kind to him and appears to have his best interests at heart. he ends up being quite sheltered due to all this. plus gaster also keeps telling him constantly Not To Think Too Much About The Fucked Up Things so he's gotten good at that.

thematically, the entire thing, at least for me, is another lens through which to look at deltarune's themes of agency and personhood. children, particularly disabled children, frequently have their personhood and agency denied to them because of the idea that they aren't capable of handling themselves. that's not to say that children and disabled people don't need SUPPORT, of course, but that support should be enabling them to make decisions for themselves when possible and appropriate, rather than denying them opportunities for agency. adding those particular lenses onto ralsei's canonical status as a darkner (which is a category of Unperson within the narrative) provides a lot of interesting ground with which to explore his emerging independence and self-actualization. also I just think its rad to think about weird Fucked Up Ghost Dad shenanigans

tldr:

[ladyluscinia]

man i have been eyebrow deep in your blackhands tag for most of the afternoon and i am co signing izzy with murderbestie anne bonny. let this stressed lil dude have a friend that isn't his codependency partner/boss please. and yes, let ed be jealous and possessive as fuck - it's unhealthy but so fun! which seems like a long way to say: do you have any izzy&anne thoughts??

I have been sitting on this ask for a while (like, months 😅) because I was super excited for murderbesties thoughts and did not feel I had the time to do them justice, but today is the end of my holiday so huzzah!

My Izzy and Anne thoughts are numerous! My Anne thoughts in general are numerous, so let's see if I can wrangle them into some kind of order...

Ok, so my Anne and Izzy murderbestie agenda started in this post, and I've been mentally building it up since then. I've also been mentally entwining it with my Izzy and Jack thoughts (especially since posting my JackHands manifesto) but I don't think I've actually posted any of the Izzy + Anne + Jack (+ Mary + Edward) stuff. If I ever write a fic with side characters I'll probably incorporate some version of it all (possibly even if S2 contradicts it) but that could be a very long wait so no point in keeping close to the chest.

I guess the best place to start would be basic Anne headcanons?

---

Anne Bonny

First, more-uniquely me thing... I know a lot of people in the Izzy sphere take their headcanons back to everyone sailing together under Hornigold - no offense intended, those are fun - but I think it adds to Hornigold's terror factor if he really is more just the demon from Edward's childhood (and Jack's), so Izzy and Anne both come into the story post-Hornigold. Izzy shortly after Edward and Jack escape, and then Anne after Jack sets out on his own.

I am a huge fan of disaster woman Anne Bonny. She is not cool. She is not suave. This woman is Calico Jack's First Mate and she matches his energy exactly! #LetWomenBeAwful

I am also a huge fan of lesbian Anne Bonny. This is in part because I love the idea that she genuinely respects Jack and likes him for his personality, and she cannot even blame trashy horniness for it. And Izzy needs a bestie with zero sexual tension to offset the whole everything he has going on with Edward, so win-win.

So Anne is Jack's Izzy - devoted to him, they've been together forever, kinda codependent but handling it better on account of not actually having massive unaddressed romantic and sexual feelings, an excellent pirate team, etc. Jack is actually impressively cunning under his frat bro exterior, and Anne has got some faintly hero-worship "Yes Captain"-ing going on too, just to really drive home the parallel (though she's a lot more boisterous and yet somehow subtle about it than Izzy). I also had thoughts on the prospect of her mutining Jack.

Complex Relationship Stuff

Anne and Izzy got along great from the start. Izzy had developed a fondness for Jack's personality before he struck out on his own, and Anne is enough like him that she easily clicks into the friend group the first time they meet back up. Also Izzy and Anne get paired up by fate for a few sidequests that cement their bond independent of Jack and Edward. They both are very good at killing people. Murderbesties for life! 😘 Anne also calls out Izzy being stupid obvious about his tumultuous love life and she conveys "I get it. Not in an In-Love-with-my-Captain way, but in a Deep-Devotion, I'd-Die-for-Him way so..." and then she becomes Izzy's Edward-Drama drinking buddie.

Important related point - Anne and Edward aren't really friends. Like she is very much Izzy's friend / Jack's platonic wife that Edward is professionally cordial with, and she does make him feel a bit like the odd man out when she visits. This is important for "world doesn't revolve around Edward" reasons, drama reasons, and funny reasons.

The drama reasons are Edward's abandonment issues getting him all worked up and possessive about Izzy having a friend, only soothed by the fact Izzy always comes back and Anne's exclusion from the romantic rival category.

The funny reasons are Anne, completely wasted, grabbing Izzy's shoulder, failing miserably to look him dead in the eye, and slurring "Leave the bastard, you're too good for him. He's a fucking... A loser. Loser bastard!" and Izzy replying, equally drunk and scandalized, "He's Blackbeard!"

Anne's romantic advice to Izzy is usually along the lines of Dump Him, but she also gets pissed at Edward on Izzy's behalf like a true bestie. Her reaction to the whole Stede thing would be a treat. Izzy frequently discounts her romantic advice because he a) is way too deep in this toxic marriage to back down that easy, and b) knows she has her own disaster thing going on with Mary so clearly is in no position to be giving advice. (This is true.)

Edward, meanwhile, is professionally cordial with Anne. He respects her skill, thinks Jack picked a good First Mate, and acknowledges her place in Izzy's life (begrudgingly, and with many private freak outs). He also feels a wave of dread every time Anne rolls up to the ship and considers her a bad influence, which is hilarious to everyone in their social circle (ex: Spanish Jackie). Izzy is a lot more chill and reckless around Anne, and she's not going to be the responsible one so Edward kinda has to... and he's not great at it. Goes from fun to anxiety inducing real fast. He's relieved when she has to get back to Jack, and thinks she's a bit better when Jack is around (mainly because Jack is leading the plans).

(Mary can help with responsibility - being a bit more of an escape plan oriented follower - but she's got those "what happens, happens" vibes and gets caught up in Anne / Jack's wake super easily.)

Cycling back to Jack, when I say Anne is his platonic wife I mean they totally got married for an insane plan once and she knows all his business, so she naturally does have an opinion on her boss's massive torch for Izzy. Mostly that it's kinda sad, but Calico Jack is her guy even more than Izzy, so she's also kinda rooting for him in that way where she doesn't really want to think about them together but hopes he moves on from Izzy happily. Jack does not get the "stop waiting for scraps of affection" talks like Izzy does, despite maybe deserving them more. He's also better at not wallowing in his rejected love when Izzy isn't in front of him, though, so that contributes.

And finally the Jack / Mary / Anne mess. I play with different dynamics for this one, but crucially Mary has (at least in the past) hooked up with Jack, and is hardcore into Anne, but their relationship is plagued by commitment issues.

If I'm feeling SteddyHands mirroring, then usually Mary is going back and forth between Jack and Anne and they have a weird thruple thing going on, only they act more like it's an open relationship / not that serious on all sides (because of the commitment issues all around) and then get pissed at each other for the same act. The ideal final form is "This is my girlfriend, Mary, and this is her [X]friend, [XXXX]." Followed by Jack and Anne calling each other husband / wife for a joke.

If I'm not feeling mirroring, then I do think it's really fun if Anne has to deal with dating her boss's ex that he's still on good enough terms to flirt with even if it's definitely over, and Mary has to deal with her girlfriend being more devoted to her ex than her for the rest of time, even if it's an entirely different kind of devotion. Also Jack and Anne are still platonically married and it is weird as fuck.

Izzy approves of Mary. He thinks she's a respectable pirate, absolutely lethal, and she gets bonus likability points because she's been backup on enough raids that she treats Izzy like a weapon of mass destruction when battle planning and he's very flattered.

Izzy has also been Anne's drunken sympathetic ear through issues with Mary or Jack (or both, when Anne gets that in her head), and he has - entirely obvious to the irony - listened to Anne sob over how she can't live without Mary and responded "Have you told her that?" (Anne had not, and would not when sober again.) He is self aware enough that he's never once advised her to drop Jack and go sail under someone else, though.

Random Other Thoughts

Hmm... Oh! Big one - I think Anne has mad tattoo skills. She's done a few of Edward's and some of her crew members (and a few small but gorgeous ones for Mary), but her real masterpiece is a really complex ship and waves on Izzy's back that she did over multiple sessions and adds details and touchups to pretty regularly. Izzy doesn't let many people tattoo him and Anne is at the top of the list.

Anne and Stede get off on the wrong foot, like, instantly. Stede is still in his "trouble remembering Izzy exists" era and entirely fails to hide his surprise that he has a friend, Anne thinks Stede is boring as fuck and openly boos his suggested activities, Stede gets the Calico Jack First Mate reveal and sours even faster... It's a whole thing. If we're doing SteddyHands she thinks Izzy is actively losing his mind when she realizes he's even considering doing that.

The murderbesties do lots of murder. A typical Anne visit is short and sweet, where she catches Blackbeard's ship because she wants to borrow Izzy to back her up on a precision naval fort strike or something. They get drenched in blood, kill a bunch of people, and usually rush to get back to the ship with their loot before anyone notices. This leads to a very relaxed and bloodstained Izzy, Edward having trouble looking pretty much anywhere else, and Anne placing bets with veteran crew on when the two of them will disappear. Later Izzy and Anne split the most expensive bottle of booze they managed to grab before she heads back to her own stuff.

Anne slept with Spanish Jackie once, out of curiosity more than anything. She recommends it. Izzy still insists she was so deep in celebratory booze that there's no way she fucking remembers enough to recommend shit. Jackie doesn't kiss and tell.

---

I think that's plenty of thoughts for now. I wish I was the kind of fic writer who could have a whole series about these two out by now, but alas. Headcanon / fic concept posts will have to do.

Thank you for the chance to gush on them and get all my thoughts in one place!

[mitskijamie]

ur tags on my post PLS ur so me core……genuinely get those men away from her they are a little bit deranged!!!!! rjk is a cute dynamic and i live for the throuple vibes but i get the feeling they would wind up being on the more toxic/unhealthy side. esp bc keeley is so independent and so capable on her own meanwhile roy n jamie r codependent needy little freaks (affectionate). im very keeley x herself endgame forward…….or keeley x me but that’s a different conversation 🤭

I agree!!

I love mashing them all together in my head like playing with Barbies and Mom City was my Favorite ep but in terms of like. canon events and the potential progression of the storyline (which is on the table according to Brendan) I'm glad she didn't take either or both of them back and ended the season single

And like it's not that I don't want to see her with one/both of them eventually, it's just that they basically spent the whole season sidelining Roy and Keeley's relationship (they shared almost no screen time) and Jamie and Keeley have had very little resolution and I think we would need another season for the timing of that endgame to really feel right, especially since she's clearly still upset about Roy breaking her heart and they still haven't actually had a conversation about it. Also Keeley's been in relationships nonstop through the entire series and it was good to see her decide to protect her peace

Again like I love them all together I'm not trying to be a hater I just think if they were going to make it endgame I'm glad they didn't do it in the finale yk?

[mtdthoughts]

Her Mistake (Migi & Dali Thought)

This post contains *spoilers* for up to Episode 11 of the Migi & Dali anime.

Looking back, I was thinking: This really was a huge mistake, wasn't it?

Don't get me wrong, Metry clearly deserved better, and certainly deserved to have her son back after having him stolen from her and being imprisoned for five years.

That being said, it was a terrible idea to do what she did, because:

She left her five-year-old sons by themselves, sleeping unattended in a tent outside of town in the middle of the night. They could have been attacked by animals or people who meant harm.

She left her sons without saying anything to them. Even if she said "I'm going to pick up your other brother," I think they would have behaved and waited for her. They were just left completely in the dark without anywhere to go, and it's honestly a miracle that they survived at all.

She climbed up to Eiji's window (just like Migi), which was already risky by itself, and expected Eiji to accept her. I know she meant well, but I don't think she was aware that without a proper explanation, Eiji was most likely going to freak out. If he didn't push her, he was most likely going to alert Reiko.

And just like that, Metry's fate was sealed, and her death left lasting impacts on all three of her sons:

Dali: Lost his mother and forced to survive alone with his brother, leaving him with a desire for revenge that was intensified by his new role as the de facto parent and Metry's replacement in a codependent relationship with Migi.

Migi: Same as Dali, but his desire for revenge was not as strong, and he was also part of a codependent relationship with Dali where he would always depend on Dali for guidance and support to the point where he tried forcing himself to be like Dali.

Eiji: Left with long-lasting guilt and trauma that is evidenced by his bed-wetting, which was only worsened after Eiji's repressed memories are awakened by Dali and after he was told that he killed Metry.

This makes me think of these shots:

Obviously, Reiko was wrong in her view of Metry as a devil who casted a curse on her, but ironically, Metry did end up indirectly cursing her kids because of her death, two of them with revenge and an unhealthy codependent relationship, and the other with long-lasting trauma. The cycle of violence almost continued until it was finally broken in the events of the later half of the story.

I'm sure Dali, who was most obsessed with avenging his mother, was the most shocked when he realized what she did and the mistake she made. I'm sure he still loved her, but also to some extent saw her as partly responsible for his long-standing suffering. This could explain why he reacted the way he did after EIji told him they were brothers.

This leaves me wondering what Metry could have done differently.

She could have just taken the twins and forget about Eiji entirely. Or at the very least, try to come back for Eiji when her twins have grown old enough to take care of themselves.

She could have confronted the issue directly by talking things out with Reiko, as miscommunication was a big reason why their relationship drifted apart to begin with (as with Migi and Dali's).

She could have also confronted the issue directly by talking to Akira or the police, and I think it's likely they would have taken her side, and Reiko could have gotten the help she needed.

Even if she insisted on taking back Eiji, she could have just told her twins what she was doing, so that they wouldn't be as confused and angry by her death.

Even if she insisted on taking back Eiji and keeping it a secret, she could have left the twins with someone trustworthy in Origon VIllage, such as the Sonoyamas.

I'm actually quite interested in the last point, as I think it could make for a good AU fanfic or a spin-off. What if Metry befriended the Sonoyamas and entrusted them with Migi and Dali while she tried to take back Eiji? Since her death was only eight years before the start of the story, I'm sure the Sonoyamas were in the village back then and still hoped for children, so this story could definitely work. The twins would then grow up with the Sonoyamas and treat them as their parents while waiting for their mother to come back. Perhaps the Sonoyamas would keep Metry's actions a secret because they thought the twins were still too young to know. Maybe Dali would slowly pick up on clues of this secret, and once he finds out the truth, alienate the Sonoyamas out of feeling betrayed. He would then go after the Ichijo family, and then it would be up to Migi to help bring his brother back to his senses. I really like this idea since it would bring a new perspective with the twins already integrated into Origon Village and would introduce the mystery and revenge elements in a different way.

Anyway, that concludes this silly thought of mine.

[jaynnie-jane]

This is such a strange feeling. I don't know if it was ending things (common sense would tell me it's probably that) or if it's medication, hormones or just a very deep and entire acceptance that happened yesterday and today. I am not afraid to loose you all of a sudden. I still really want to work on us, I still want to take the time to do it and I still don't like the way my future looks without you in it but I am not afraid of it.

I think it was that post about not destroying the thing we love honestly. I love him, plain and simple and I want BOTH of us to thrive. I want BOTH of us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

Figuratively, on Monday I said "fuck that third entity that is the relationship" and in doing so I can now see the people that were suffering because of it. And I really do think it turned into a twisted mess because we were both too afraid of hurting each other, we were both too afraid of destroying "the relationship".

And it's strange because while I still want and really hope that we could still be together, I also look at some of my friendships and my more than friendships but not quite in a monagamous, committed, eternal relationship, relationships and I think yeah, there's no reason on my end why I wouldn't enjoy that.

I know the transition TO that will be difficult coz theres a lot of difference in expectation that I feel there... heck, maybe that's SUPER unhealthy but I know I have had some really loving, genuine, accepting relationships like that.

Maybe its a me thing and when I am wearing that hat and have those expectations, my codependency doesn't destroy shit.

Coz that's the other thing I'm feeling at the moment: very little expectation, I don't feel a NEED to be understood or a NEED for the "correct" apology.

It's just like this weird "it's all g, we are all different, we're just here to experience and enjoy what we can. Oh you feeling down, here let me spread some love".

Am I fucking high on quetiapine? Though, last time I thought it was fucking with me it made me weirdly dismissive of everyone else and now I think it's making me weirdly dismissive of me??

Hahaha just ran through a fantasy to check that assumption; wait so, if I am being weirdly dismissive of my own needs and feelings, does that mean I am not afraid to work..? Checked against the idea of being a peer support person and was like okay, yeah that seems cool. Turned up the heat a bit and thought through the process of going to work 9-5, 5 days a week and was like ooo that's getting uncomfy, don't think I wanna do that so turned it up even more just to really stress test and just had one word "homecraft?". My brain INSTANTLY RECOILED and said a big old naaaaah MAAAATE.

Hahaha brains are dumb XD.

But yeah, in this moment I just kinda feel.. good? Like I could actually be honest about what I want instead of being too afraid to ask/tell or be worried about what might seem like a double standard.

I shall monitor this feeling closely. How long do we rekon it's gonna last Tumbls?

Confusion, hope, desire, confident, curious, 😴 sleepy, silly, empathy, smol guilt, "like me", wary, medium guilt, suspisciously stable... unstable XD

[musical-chick-13]

Reading your posts about "toxic" couples and female villains has me thinking I don't watch any TV programs with any such characters and I want to. Do you have recommendations?

Ohhh, you have come to the right place, my friend. (This is very long I'm so sorry.)

I'm going to do the opposite of what I normally do start with my Number One Recommendation (as in, I think this show is most likely to be the kind of thing you're looking for), which is Search Party starring Alia Shawkat. I really would suggest going into this one blind because it is a ride. This is basically "Everyone Gets Worse: The Show," including one of the most complex and effective corruption arcs of a female character I've ever seen! And Dory/Drew, the main couple, is the most batshit deranged romance. I'm a Jaime/Cersei stan and Dory and Drew somehow come across as worse.

SPEAKING OF JAIME/CERSEI. I like GoT more than I like Search Party. And I like Cersei more than...every character ever. She's not the Final Antagonist™, but she's a formidable presence throughout the show, with such a rich interior emotional world that I always learn something new about her every time I think about her!! And Jaime/Cersei is THE unhealthy romance for me; it is the standard by which I measure every unhinged, toxic couple. People are going to tell me not to recommend this because season 8 is bad, but my hot take of the century is that the final season/ending was overall perfectly fine. Also some love to my girl Melisandre, who is also complex in an unpalatable way that's underappreciated by fandom.

Also going to plug Fleming: The Man Who Would Be Bond, which I think is where my love for Toxic Ships™ can be traced back to. Ann and Ian's relationship is fucked up.

Elementary has a female Moriarty, who doesn't actually show up in that many episodes, but her influence and romantic history with Sherlock is felt throughout the show. He even calls her "the great love of [his] life." Miss Sherlock also has a female Moriarty, who is delightfully creepy.

This is ALSO my daily pitch for 2001 anime Noir, which barely feels like an anime if I'm honest. So if you're not an anime person please don't let that put you off. Altena is THE anime villain of all time, and every single other tragic villain wants what she has. She's extremely competent and is probably the only example I've seen of a villain who claims they're doing the right thing and I genuinely believe she thinks that. (Looking at you [character name redacted].) All the women in this are fucked up, actually, and have very fucked-up relationships with each other! This includes the central couple (though they do eventually get on the same page), but ALSO there's a minor, 2-episode dynamic that stays thoroughly fucked-up the whole way through, I'm talking fighting-to-the-death, I Traumatized You As A Child Which Profoundly Affected Me So Much I Became Obsessed With You/I'm Afraid Of You But Will Still Embrace You While Attacking You (someone other than me please ship this please, PLEASE I'M BEGGING).

I also can never recommend Chainsaw Man enough. I won't say I ship the toxic couple (unlike the others I've mentioned), but it's very complex and furthers the themes of the story and reverberates through it in a way where I really appreciate that it's there. It's a big part of the reason why the story is as excellent and hard-hitting as it is. Also one of the most frightening female villains I've ever seen. (And also Aki/Himeno, another codependent ship. Though that one's pretty tame in comparison to the other dynamics I've mentioned.)

There is also Doctor Who, with recurring villain Missy and the former-friends-turned-enemies-with-heavy-subtext The Doctor and The Master. Kissing your opponent to unbalance them! I don't approve of what you're doing, but I'll always forgive you! Everything I am is because of your influence! No one else can kill you except me! I'll try to be good for a while because you're my friend! They have it all!!!

Some other recommendations I won't go super deep into (because this is getting long) are under the cut.

LIVE ACTION TV: Beth/Rio from Good Girls, Luther/Alice (and just Alice in general) from Luther, Klaus/Camille from The Originals (though they do get less overtly-toxic as time goes on, also the last two seasons of this show are terrible), Cal/Zoe from Lie to Me. Rita/Laura from Doom Patrol is more...fraught and angsty than outright toxic (and it's also not canon ☹️) but there's still betrayal and murder attempts. Also love of my life (and half of my otp of all otps) Irene Adler from BBC Sherlock. Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend isn't a villain (but she has Major Problems™) BUT I'M PUTTING HER HERE ANYWAY BECAUSE THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL TIME PLEASE WATCH IT.

ANIME: Sunako Kirishiki from Shiki (VASTLY underrated show, with Themes™ of the dangers of fully dehumanizing your enemy/war is hell/what does it really mean to be "a monster," ALSO her looking 12 but being 700 years old is actually story-relevant and meant to decontruct the idea of eternal youth, which I think is neat), Shinji/Asuka from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Id: Invaded which has one of my favorite Murder Ladies Inami Nahoshi (killing related to trauma/being stuck in emotional stasis, her boyfriend/accomplice is completely under her thumb, but she goes ballistic when she gets separated from him), Akuma No Riddle (which I go back and forth on whether I think is actually good or not but there are SO many villainous gals there so I must stan), and Baccano (one character is in love with another because he so badly wants to kill her and she's just...into that).

OTHER MEDIA: Umineko When They Cry (visual novel--PLENTY of lady villains and also extremely deranged lesbians), Do Revenge (movie--convoluted friendship, pRoBLeMaTiC female protagonists), The Perfection (movie--one of my favorites!!! this relationship is fucked-up), Kasane (manga), Sunken Garden (opera--SOPRANO VILLAIN IS MY DREAM ROLE; sadly no recording/album exists, but I will keep everyone updated), my girl Margaret of Anjou (Shakespeare's Henry V (mainly parts 2 and 3) and Richard III--this woman is unhinged), Marisa Coulter (and her relationship with Asriel) from the His Dark Materials book series (there's also a TV show, but I haven't seen it), Black Death (movie--unsettling female villain), Kill Boksoon (this is basically Women's Wrongs: The Movie), Thrill Me (musical), and if you want Songs About Codependent Love then PLEASE check out English goth rock band Creeper's album Sex, Death & the Infinite Void and its follow-up American Noir.

THINGS THAT ARE ON MY TO WATCH/READ LIST BECAUSE THEY CONTAIN FEMALE VILLAINS AND/OR UNHEALTHY COUPLES: Phantom Thread (movie), The Traitor Baru Cormorant (book series), Interview with the Vampire (the TV show), Dracula 2020 (TV miniseries), Mortal Engines (book series), Stalker x Stalker (webcomic), The Monster of Elendhaven (book), The Wicked and the Willing (book), Magic Knight Rayearth (manga and anime--they apparently diverge at some point), Hold the Dark (movie), The Luminous Dead (book), From Dusk till Dawn: The Series, and the 2014 BBC TV series The Musketeers.