Tumgik
#i also wanna interact w mutuals more
kingzombear · 8 months
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shuffles in & sniffles & adjusts my little crown
My bday was a week ago and I got a buncha happy bdays and stuff,,, u guys r rly nice 2 me thank u so much 🥺💖
I get mega bummed sometimes, I'm rly insecure abt my art and abt sharing it,,, sometimes I feel like it's not worth posting.
But then folks leave tags & replies & asks in my inbox (I'm workin on a backlog of requests here n there!) and I feel better :)
GRARGH ok I'm shy I just wanted to say thank u and I love u goonigh 🐻💤
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shokupanda · 5 months
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im just gonna recap my upcoming hell week: it is currently sunday, ten pm. i need to finish writing a paper and print it 7am stat because thats when most printshops open and i have to turn it in before 9am, because at that time i have a history final (that i as of this point is time have not studied for at all).
after that i need to immediately go home and make a powerpoint presentation for tuesday, and also speedrun another mutiple page a3 project of designing a stand and making like detailed floorplans and mockups (with watercolor paint), because i need to get that binded tuesday, because i need go turn it in wednesday.
for tuesday itself, on campus i have to speedrun painting two large a3 illustrations for a different final, and also speedrun the aforementioned project-that-needs-to-be-binded.
come wednesday, ill hopefully be able to turn that project in, but then i have a civics final exam that morning.
thursday is an off day (hopefully). but i need to tweak the design of a mostly done group presentation for friday.
friday ill need to present said presentation.
i think after that thats it for the semester and i can finally have respite with a few months break oh god finally. after mentally going through what i have to do though im really not looking forward to this week. graphic design is my prisonnnnn AAAAAAAAAA
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chaos--mode · 6 months
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i sort of like being in my little corner of the rpc where nobody really pays much attention to me and im just kinda. Here. it's very chill
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fishyartist · 2 years
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new day resolution TALK TO PEOPLE!!!!
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wholesalesoftie · 3 months
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hey btw moved to @cherried-softie <3
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please PLEASE dont spam my dms. esp if its abt polls that could cause like fandom drama or something of the sort. there were no rules before when it came to dms and asks but this is the one (1) boundary i am now putting in place. its better for me and its also better for u bc i will start lying to get out of an uncomfortable situation like that and i dont think ppl like it when they get lied to. probably. taking a wild guess here.
dont get me wrong i love dms, i love asks even more, i love talking to people, but god bless i have autism i can only handle masking so much and this is supposed to be a safe space for me, i am terrified of fandom drama, do NOT put me in a situation. thank you.
#the person who i kinda want to see this wont actually bc they dont even follow me#we're not mutuals#im still confused about that whole situation#why they came into my dms asking for me to vote on a poll i will never know. i didn't wanna be rude.#id love to be sent more asks and dms and stuff just dont use me for controversial things thank uuuuuu ♥️#love everyone who interacts w me tho. genuinely makes my days every time#even if i dont respond#sometimes i cant come up w something to say but i still appreciate it anyways#just like. yeah. this is where im supposed to go to post my silly bakugan things not to be peer pressured 😭#im also like. terrified of fandoms. i have been in so many fandoms and they have negatively impacted my mental health to insane degrees#ive actually had a few tumblr accounts on here too specifically for bakugan but ive ended up deleting them bc. mental illness innit#not bc anyone's done anything when i had those accounts im just like. scared of ppl. too many ppl and i bolt.#gonna try and stick around this time tho#it is kinda funny how small this fandom is bc i recognise ppl but also i dont. actually. remember my old account names???? whoops#and if i dont remember them then no one else will#i think my old account was like. galaxygambling or something like that. i was like 17 at the time. wild.#now im 21. i can feel my bones withering away as i type. my hair is slowly greying. actually that might just be stress.#when will i stop rambling in the tags? only the goddesses know
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fruittt-punchhh · 3 months
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Pop My Cherry!
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all parts
Synopsis: your dad's best friend is none other than Toji Fushiguro, and you can't help but wonder what he could do with his hands.
Characters: Toji Fushiguro x reader.
Content: Minors Do Not Interact! smut, afab! reader, fem! reader, dad's best friend! Toji, suggestiveness, cursing, inexperienced (ish) reader, reader is a virgin but has done things ya know, female masturbation, male masturbation, mutual masturbation, getting caught in the act, reader smokes weed, alcohol usage, pet/ affectionate names, age gap (reader is 24, Toji is in his 30s), Toji calls reader (doll, slut, bitch, etc.), big dick! Toji, cunnilingus (f! receiving), fingering, just smut tbh.
Word Count: 3.7k-ish
Notes: hello again lovelies! here is pt. 4 of pop my cherry! I hope you guys have been digging it bc I def have❤️‍🔥🫶 also, reader finally gets her coochie ate🗣️🗣️🗣️can we get some w’s in the chat or some hoorays because we finally made it lmao. lemme know what you think!!! enjoy you filthy rat🐀💖🫶💋‼️ also, credits to kithsune and reveriesources for the banners! check them out!
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“Poor baby, can’t even make yourself cum. You need Toji’s help, huh? Lemme show you, love”
Toji has you on your back with your knees pressed to your chest, his mouth hovering over your pussy. You can feel his breath on you as he takes in the sight before him.
“You have such a cute fucking cunt, you know that? Can’t believe no one’s knocked you up yet, girl.”
You feel your pussy clench around nothing as you try not to beg him. Anything would be better than him staring you down like this.
“T-Toji, I’m nervous. I-I’ve never done any of this before, what if I-“
“Just be quiet and let me eat, y/n. Haven’t eaten all day and I’m fucking starving.”
He trails sloppy kisses from your thighs, down to your juicy pussy. He licks a long stripe on the side of your pussy, and sucks on your outer lip. He chuckles at how you squirm. He loves watching you melt for him. He’s desperate to pound into you but he knows he’ll break you if he doesn’t properly stretch you out first. Even the most, ahem, experienced of women have a hard time adjusting to his size.
“Lemme make you feel good, okay doll? Wanna watch you come undone for me.”
Without any warning, he flattens his tongue to lap up all of your juices as he licks your entire pussy. You moan and instinctively grab a fistful of his hair to ground yourself.
“Kinky are we, huh? Gonna have to grab it harder than that.”
You do as your told as Toji eats you out like a man starved. He’s full on moaning into your cunt as he sucks on your swollen clit. You taste so fucking good for him. Like candy.
“Like w-what?”
Oh. Toji freezes before he’s looking up into your eyes.
“Yeah baby doll, this pussy is sweet like fucking candy. I could do this for hours, but I don’t think you could handle it. I need you to cum all in my mouth, can you do that f’me princess?”
You cry out as he goes back to devouring you, bucking your hips into his mouth. You feel out of control at this point. You’ve been basically edging yourself all day thinking about Toji. Now, he’s in front of you eating you like this is his last meal. You didn’t know how much more you could take. You felt that familiar burning in the pit of your stomach as your orgasm approached.
“F-fuck, mngh Tojiiiii, m’gonna c-cum”
Shit, he wanted to say something to send you over the edge, but he didn’t want to stop his work on your clit for fear of you not finishing. Besides, you tasted like fucking gold on his tongue and he’d be damned if he let a little dirty talk stop you from cumming on his face.
“Oh my, ohmygooood, m’cumming baby fuuuuck”
Your orgasm crashed into you, hard, and you thought you were going to pass out. No one has ever even touched you like this before, let alone devoured you whole. It felt sinfully good and you were cumming so quickly. You had no idea why you had waited this long to get some head, but you were surely addicted at any rate.
Toji doesn’t let you rest from your high, instead intent on overstimulating your abused cunt. He needed to taste every last drop, so he shoves his thick tongue inside your tight hole. If he could drink you until the well ran dry, he would.
“T-Toji please, s’too much, mmmmhh”
You were seeing stars at this point. His tongue plunging in and out of you, and his big nose was rubbing on your clit in a way that you thought should be illegal. You couldn’t help but hump into his face, desperately chasing your next orgasm much too soon.
Toji came up for air to take you in as you lie before him. He had to grip his cock again, nearly bruising the base of it. You had this dreamy, fucked out look on your face. Tears streaming down your temples, hair ruffled, and lips nearly bleeding from how hard you were biting them. He still held your legs taught against your chest, not giving you anywhere to run.
“It’s not too much, girl, I know you can take it. We’re just getting started, babe.” He says as he licks his lips and chin obscenely, trying not to waste any of your sweet nectar. He releases the hold on your legs, much to your relief. You finally felt like you could take a deep breath for the first time since you two began.
Your relief was cut short.
“Hold your legs up for me doll, need’ta stretch her out nice and good for me. Don’t want ya’ cutting my dick in half with that tight pussy of yours”
You obediently wrapped your hands around the back of your knees, pulling your legs back up into their original position. Of course, the original position had you bent entirely in half thanks to Toji’s brute strength, but this would do just fine. You bite your lip as you look down at him. You know what’s coming. You’ve been thinking about it for the past twelve hours and now that it’s happening, you don’t know if you should be elated or terrified.
“Good girl, hold ‘em just like f’me”
Toji looks at your glistening cunt and feels like he is suddenly 25 again, bursting with hormones and energy. Your pretty pink pussy was making a wet spot on the bed, but a little more couldn’t hurt right? He spits on your pussy, watching it drip down your clit, your folds, and inside of you. He was supposed to be ruining you, but goddammit if he didn’t feel as ruined as ever looking at your cute, helpless expression.
You yelp out as Toji lightly slaps your pussy. Not enough to hurt, but the stinging was still there. At this point, you were so desperate for him, you think you’d let him kill you if it’d meant he’d fuck you first.”
“S’probably gonna hurt, but I’ve gotta get you ready, okay love?”
(not toji being.. sweet?)
Toji runs his two fingers along your glistening slit, coating himself with your wetness. He places a sweet kiss to your clit before he’s pushing his middle finger into you, slowly.
“H-holy shiiit, ohmyg-ooood,” you choke out. It was better than you could have imagined. You fingered yourself once in a blue moon. It wasn’t your favorite past time since you could never make yourself cum that way. But this felt worlds better than what your small fingers could do. He’s barely starting pumping into you before you’re a whining mess underneath him.
Toji is rutting his cock into the mattress below, desperate for any sort of touch. You were driving him insane with those cute little gasps and whimpers. He could only dream of how slutty you’d sound when you were stuffed full of his cock.
“Fuck, look at you. Already ‘bout to cum, huh?”
You lift your head up to look down at Toji while he finger fucks you. He’s going almost too slow, but the stretch told you it was necessary. He wasn’t even eating your pussy anymore. His eyes were glued to the beauty in front of him.
He loved watching how your tight hole almost sucked his digit in, and he couldn’t imagine how heavenly you would feel clenching and sucking around his cock. He felt his mouth watering for another taste of you. He locks his lips to your clit and with a harsh suck, he starts moving his finger faster.
You were a writhing mess for him and you already felt your orgasm creeping up on you yet again. You were sure you could cum just from him fingering you alone. The sight of him taking in every part of you, watching you so closely while you whined for him; it was too much. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, he starts suckling on your bud and pumping into you faster and faster.
He keeps pulling away from your clit, sucking on it and releasing with an obscene pop! He keeps giving you little kitten licks to tease you while you huff in frustration. You grab a chunk of his black hair and pull him into you, forcing him to stay glued to your clit. In doing so, you released one of your legs, letting it rest on the bed as Toji devoured you.
Well now, that simply wouldn’t do. While he didn’t mind you being aggressive with him, he needed those plush thighs up and out of the way so he could consume every part of you.
“No ma’am, hold those legs or imma do it for you,” he winks, and you feel yourself losing it. You didn’t know if you had the strength to hold them anymore. The pace he was going at, his tongue feeling too fucking good on your clit. Your legs were starting to shake and they were tired, and you were scared you might clasp them together on his head whenever he made you cum next.
Noticing your failure to pull your legs back up, he takes his hand off of his long cock and uses it to shove your knees back to their original position.
“H-holy shiiiit Toj-“ you can’t even finish your exclamation before your breath is stolen from you. He pushes another thick finger inside of your soppy cunt and just goes to town, sucking and moaning on your clit.
“-told ya’ t’watch that mouth, bitch,” he says, muffled by your sweet pussy as he tries his hardest not to fuck you within an inch of your life on his fingers.
The stretch was painful, but it only added to the sensations you were overwhelmed by. Your high still hadn’t worn off, so Toji, who would normally be considered a 10/10 pussy eater, was feeling more like a 100/10.
“Mmmmh, I bet you wanna cum so bad, huh doll? Should I give it to you? Have you earned it?”
Toji smirks as he sees the look on your face. He has never seen anyone look so desperate and needy for anything in their life. As if you were a glass of water in the desert and she was dying of thirst. That look might kill him if he stares too long.
While he awaits your answer, he continues torturing your pussy with the slow thrusts of his big fingers.
“Y-yess, oh god, yes, I-I promise I’ve been good for you, sir”
Have you lost your mind?? The nicknames Toji gave you made you weak, so you wanted to try one out. What if he thought it was stupid???
Sir? He didn’t want to let on that the little nickname you just gave him had his dick spurting precum all over the mattress. You were so desperate to cum, he started to almost feel bad for you.
“Sir, hah, you must wanna cum real bad, huh? Do it then, bitch. Cum on my fingers if you want it so bad,” he says as he quickens his pace, and starts curling his fingers inside you with every thrust. He figured he had teased you enough and you looked like you’d explode if you didn’t get your release. He started sucking on your clit again, anxious to feel how tight you’d get when you came for him.
“Fuck, baby please, just-just like that, I-I’m, shit, gonna cum, ohmygoooood,” you whined. You thought it couldn’t get any better until he was curling his fingers inside of you, hitting your sweet spot with every thrust. That was the spot you would fail to reach every time you fingered yourself, so you hardly bothered with it. He kept hitting that spot, over and over again. You were going to cum any second now. Your felt your stomach tighten so much you were scared you’d burst. You knew your orgasm was approaching, but it felt so much more.. intense. It was almost like the pressure you feel when you have to pee really bad, you thought. But you had used the restroom when you came in from tanning, so surely you didn’t have to go again, right???
Toji looked up at you while he ate you, listening to your moans turn into gasps and cut off breaths. You were so close, he knew it. He couldn’t let up now, he needed to feel you cum. He had to mentally prepare himself for how tight you’d get when you were cumming on his cock later.
He speeds up his movements, not letting you have a moment without constant stimulation. He was going to pull this out of you one way or another. With one final thrust of his fingers, you were screaming.
Your pussy clenches on his fingers so tight, they’re nearly pushed out of you from the sheer pressure. He never lets up, drinking in your juices as you squirt all over his face. Jesus Christ, you couldn’t stop. You were groaning with how intensely your orgasm washed over you. You thought squirting was just a thing in porn! You never knew any of your friends to do it. But here you were, gushing around Toji’s big fingers like you were on cam.
Toji thought he might cum seeing you like this. You were screaming underneath him, attempting (poorly) at pushing his head back, your thighs squeezing together as the stimulation was beginning to be too much. Your pussy squeezes his fingers so tight as you squirt all over him. He was in fucking heaven.
“Atta’ girl, look at you. You’re ready for me now, yeah?”
“T-Toji?”
You look down at him, still shaking as he pulls his fingers out of you, the sudden loss of his warmth making you whimper. You watch as he brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking your cum off of them. He even licks his fucking palm. God, he was feral. He still wasn’t looking at you. Was he talking to your pussy?
“Shut up, girl, wasn’t talking to you. I was asking her, hah,” he laughs. He was so far gone he didn’t know if he’d be able to go another moment without your pretty pink lips on his cock.
“O-oh, s-sorry, Toj-“
He interrupts you, not giving you a chance to finish whatever apology you had come up with.
“You talk too much, brat. Need to stuff that mouth shut.” Just the thought of his dick anywhere near that pretty mouth had him feeling out of control.
Opting to keep your mouth shut like Toji wanted demanded, you (somehow) managed to sit up, crawling on your hands and knees towards him. You continue forward until he is leaning on the footboard of your bed, with his hands placed behind him, holding him up. And what a sight it was.
His cock was stiff, leaking precum all over his shirt. The sight of you crawling towards him like a little minx, tits hanging in front of him, had him going insane.”
“Come here, doll, lemme show you how good you taste”
You sit on his lap, being careful to not sit all the way down on his cock. You were still so sensitive from the orgasms he had yanked out of you. You had to hover on top of him so you wouldn’t yelp from the overstimulation.
You wrap your arms around his neck, ready to have your lips on his after such a long intermission. You close your eyes, ready for him to meet you halfway, when you feel his (still wet) hand grab your chin roughly.
“What, are you scared of it or somethin’, woman? Put that pussy on me, bitch, need to feel how good I did for ya’,” he growls, grabbing your hips as he pushes your heat down onto his throbbing cock.
He wasn’t going to last at this rate. Your hands were in his hair, tugging on it while you moan into his mouth. He had your sloppy cunt running up and down his length, covering every inch of him in your lust. He thrusts his tongue in your mouth, wanting you to taste how good you were for him. It didn’t exactly taste like candy like he claimed earlier, but it wasn’t bad. It was a little sweet, even. He was intoxicating.
Your hips were aching as Toji’s hands were bruising you from the grip he had on them. You felt another orgasm approaching, very apparent from your shaky legs and pathetic moans.
“You sound like such a little slut for me, baby. Ya’know, next time you should record it. We’d make a killing, you just sound too good.”
Next time??? You hadn’t even thought that far ahead yet. You were so lost in the moment you failed to realize that Toji may not ever be able to get enough of you. It wasn’t far from the truth to say you felt the same too, as conflicting as it was. At this point, you were too far gone and you felt too good to care anymore.
You stilled your hips, needing a break and you found it hard to talk with your pussy grinding on Toji’s lap like you were, “T-Toji, god that’s so embar-“
“I didn’t say stop, woman. Learn how to talk while I please you or we’re not gettin’ anywhere,” he says as he grabs your plump ass and rubs you against his cock again.
“S-sorry sir, I just feel like… I s-sound weird, mmmnh,” you respond, moaning as he plants a firm hand on your ass cheek, spanking you.
“Shut the fuck up little girl. Can you see what you did to me, huh? I’m about to cum just looking at you and you sound like a fucking pornstar,” you can’t help but hide behind your hands as you blush for the umpteenth time tonight.
“Don’t hide that pretty face, doll. Ya’know what? You don’t have to post it or nothin’. Just send it to me so I got something to beat off too later, okay?”
The thought of Toji pleasing himself to your voice had you melting. Maybe he’s just super pent up from work and hasn’t got laid in a while? Surely that had to be it. You were a 6/10 on a good day, and you had maybe 1% of the sexual experience that he had.
“Okay, okay yeah we can try next time, I-I guess. Would you really…. touch yourself to it? Why?” You ask, knowing that the plethora of porn available at his disposal was immense. Why would he pick a shitty homemade video of you moaning for him for jack off material??
“That’s it, good girl. You’re such a good fucking girl for me, you know that, y/n? If I had a video of you moaning on top of my dick, it might be the only thing I cum to ever again”
Toji was fucked. Since when is he this honest? To a woman he barely knew, nonetheless. It was so true, though. Having you whining for him, pleasing yourself by using his cock on cam? Pfft, he might not even need to get laid again if you got that video (false).
Your face was beet red at this point. You moaned in response to his confession. Instead of question him further, you decided to take the initiative for once. You kiss him as you finally rub your hands under his tight shirt, feeling how rock hard his torso was. He was sweaty and had just a few chest hairs and you didn’t know why you wanted to rip his shirt off so fucking badly.
“If you wanna see, all you have to do is ask, hun”
“Please Toji, I want to see all of you. Please, I’ll do anything,” you confess, because it was true. You wanted to see him just as exposed as you were right now.
“Oh, anything, huh? Even if I wanted you to suck every last drop of your cum off my cock?” If you kept grinding your little pussy all over him like this, he was going to finish well before he intended to. If you sucked him off, at least he could have a break from the constant friction you were giving him.
“Oh… I mean, yes, yeah I would. I wanna be a good girl for you, Toji,” and to be fair, you had been dreaming about how he would taste, and how quickly he’d fill up your mouth with his massive cock. Your mouth started to water as you waited for his response.
Jesus Christ. He didn’t think you’d be so quick to agree, but he also didn’t know just how wrapped around his finger you were. The thought of stuffing your throat full of him was intoxicating, and he was scared he may not last long enough to fuck your tight cunt like he needed to.
“That’s what I thought, baby doll,”
He watches your heavenly figure as you lift off of him, scooting back to come face to face with his throbbing dick.
You were impossibly nervous. You wanted to do a good job, but all the other blowjobs you’ve given before were for much, much smaller dicks. You’ve never even made a guy finish with just your mouth before, always being interrupted by roommates or your jaw being so tired that you had to jerk them off to finish the job. But you were determined to make Toji feel good after how hard he made you cum.
“Uh-uh, what do ya’ think you’re doin’, woman? Get on your fucking knees,” he spits. He knows with his extreme size and girth, it’d be much easier for you to take more of him if you were on your knees and had your throat at that angle. Plus, seeing you on your knees throating his cock was a requirement at this point.
“Okay, yeah sure, s-sorry,” you say as you step off the bed and get on your knees in the floor in front of the wall. You sit back on your heels as you wait for him, the excitement rushing through your entire body.
“Girl stop apologizing and just make it up to me, yeah?”
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pt. 5
@scorpiosugar mwahahah
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lincolndjarin · 1 year
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constructive criticisms
main masterlist ✧ kinktober masterlist ✦
kinktober : day two - afab!ficauthor!reader x javier peña
prompt : virginity loss [ 18+ mdni ]
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word count : 5.1 k
summary : javier peña has been a thorn in your side for months, the last thing you need is for him to find out you write dirty fanfiction
warnings, etc. : language, fluff, smut, protected sex, p in v sex, oral m!recieving, fingering, mutual masturbation, viginity loss (duh), innocence kink sorta, squirting, reader is completely clueless when it comes to sex, javier is a dumb sweetheart in this, plot w a little porn lol
a/n : yippee! this is an idea ive had floating around for a bit and this seemed like a good opportunity to do it! easily the longest of the kinktober stuff lmao which is why i didnt want this to be day one cause i didnt want to set a precedent haha. also i hate this but it's october so like i can't do much about that lmao. AND the edit was rushed bc i gotta get to work so apologies for any errors!!
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  “What’s that?” You slam your laptop shut the moment you hear his voice. 
“Nothing.” You hadn’t heard him come into your office yet here he is, looming over your shoulder. 
“Didn’t look like nothing.” You can’t stand the mocking smile on his face. 
“Did you need something?” You do your best to sound patient. 
“I’ve got some suspect photos I need you to identify.” He’s still grinning from ear to ear as you hold your hand out for the file. You flip through the pictures before tossing them onto the pile of paperwork you’ve been trudging through. You’re waiting for him to leave but he just stays in place behind you until you spin around in your chair. 
“Is there something else?” You cross your arms in front of your chest, glowering at him. 
“What were you working on?” For god's sake, drop it. 
“Get out of my office Peña, or I won’t process your suspects.” Thankfully that gets him to leave, sighing as he closes the door behind him. Once you’re sure he’s not coming back you open your laptop again, quickly closing out your tabs. 
The last thing you need is for Javier fucking Peña to read your Star Wars fanfiction. 
He makes your life hell around the office enough as is. He makes fun of how you dress, he only ever asks you to file his paperwork, (despite the dozen others who are just as capable.) and you’re pretty sure he stole your lunch one time. He’s just in general a nuisance. (And it doesn’t help that he’s gorgeous and knows it.)
It’s not like you’re ashamed of your writing, you’ve mentioned it in passing to some of your friends around the office but Javier is different. He gives you enough grief without knowing how badly you wanna fuck Anakin Skywalker, you can’t imagine how much worse thing would get if he found you’re writing. 
So you get back to work, trying to forget the interaction entirely. 
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You like to work late on fridays, it makes things easier, you don’t have to come in early on monday and no ones around to bother you while you work. You’re just about done with everything as you gather up all the finished documents, going from empty office to empty office as you leave the respective papers on each person's desk. 
You’re nearly done, you’ve just got Javier’s suspect list to deal with as you step into the bullpen to deliver it you’re surprised to see him still sitting at his desk, everyone else is gone, only his desk lamp and computer monitor light the large room. You approach quietly, wanting to get this done as quickly as possible so you can just go home. You’re about to clear your throat to get his attention when you freeze in place. 
You recognize the website he’s on. 
You’d know that red bar anywhere. 
There’s no fucking way. 
You feel your face getting flushed, a deep shame settling in your stomach as you take another step forward just to be sure.
Archive of Our Own beta
And just below that, the name of your favorite song, but more importantly, the title of your fanfiction. 
You’re so fucked. 
You feel a mess of angry tears starting to pool in your eyes as you hear him groan. 
That somehow hurts worse. 
Not only is he reading it, but he also thinks it’s so bad he’s audibly expressing it. You’re livid, and humiliated, you should spend this weekend looking for a new job because he’s about to become insufferable. Knowing him, everyone will know about it before you even get in on monday.
In your rage you walk forward noisily, tossing his files down onto his desk, turning, planning on glaring at him once before leaving, hoping he doesn’t see how truly upset you are. 
Nothing could have prepared you for what you’re met with. You’re expecting a smirk or maybe even a look of disgust, instead he’s gritting his teeth, his hair sticking to his forehead, a visible sheen of sweat on his face and most prominently, his hand haphazardly shoved down the front of his pants. 
You both realize the predicament you’re caught in at the same time. You stare way too long. Eyes lingering on the exposed skin where his shirt rides up, a trail of hair running down his naval. Neither one of you moves until you finally snap out of it, squeezing your eyes shut and turning on your heel, walking as quickly as possible towards the exit when you hear the squeak of his chair on the floor as he calls out your name. You don’t dare turn around though, not slowing your pace until you’re out of the building and in your car. 
Thankfully he doesn’t pursue you further as you drive home as quickly as possible. Hands tightly gripping the wheel the entire time. You can see your phone blowing up in your bag, the inside dimly lit the entire length of the drive. When you pull into your apartment building’s parking lot. You grab your bag and hurry inside, desperate to just go to bed and forget everything that just happened, ignoring the throbbing between your legs from what you just witnessed. 
You step inside your studio, locking up behind you as you toss your bag onto the bed, shedding your clothes and stepping into the bathroom, praying that a cold shower will clear your head. 
It doesn’t. 
You feel just as hot and frazzled as you did before. Maybe he was just trying to mess with you. If that’s the case then now he’s just sexually harassing you. 
Stupid fucking Peña. 
You pull a tank top over your head and throw on a pair of panties before collapsing on your bed. You don’t want to look but you won’t be able to sleep if you don’t, so you reach into your bag, retrieving your phone. 
Just as suspected you have an endless amount of messages from the man himself. You're about to start scrolling through them all when you read the most recent one. 
[ I’m coming over. ] 
Son of a bitch. 
You quickly scroll through the previous messages. 
[ I’m sorry, are you okay? ]
[ Call me or I’m coming over. ]
[ Please just text me back. ]
[ I really liked your story. ]
[ I’m sorry. ]
There’s about a hundred similar messages but one stands out to you more than anything else. 
He liked your story. 
Why does that make your face burn up?
You start typing, telling him that he doesn’t want to find out what’s gonna happen if he shows up but you’re interrupted by a knock on your door. You trip over yourself as you rush to your dresser, pulling on a pair of sweatpants before peering through the peephole. 
Sure enough, there he stands, he looks exactly like you’d left him, shirt untucked and askew, hair a mess, except now his hand isn’t in his pants. You’re about to reach over and turn your lamp off when he clears his throat. 
“I know you’re in there, your car was out front.” Well, so much for pretending you aren’t home. You hesitantly unlock the door before pulling it open, plastering a scowl on your face. 
“What do you want?” You try to look stern but you know you probably just look nervous. 
“I just wanna talk.”
You’re hesitant but you open the door fully, letting him in as you return to your bed, sitting and pointing at the loveseat in the corner for him. Neither one of you speaks, you watch as his throat bobs, he won’t look at you, staring at his hands instead. 
“How did you get my address?” You finally break the silence. 
“Your file.” He says sheepishly. 
“You can’t do that! That’s an invasion of my privacy!”
“That’s what you wanna be mad about?” Fair enough. 
“Fine, why did you do it?” You don’t like that he’s here, in your tiny apartment, the memory of him splayed out in his chair takes up all the space.
“Which part?” He finally looks up at you, meeting your gaze. 
“Why did you read it?” 
“I was curious.” He looks truly apologetic, it almost makes you want to believe him.
“Really?” Your tone drips with sarcasm. 
“You seemed really defensive, I wanted to see why.” It seems genuine but you know better. 
“You wanted to embarrass me.” You say plainly. 
“Why do you act like I’m out to get you?” His brows furrow and his mouth settles into a frown. 
“Because you are.” You say it matter of factly, you honestly can’t believe he’s acting like he doesn’t know. 
“I don’t understand what I did that makes you hate me so much.” You’re tempted to soften your gaze, but the last thing you need to do if this is all just some trick is appear vulnerable. 
“You can’t be serious.”
“Please, enlighten me.” He throws his hands up in exasperation. 
“You despise me! You torment me every single day!”
“Really? I torment you?” He points an accusatory finger in your direction. 
“You make me do your paperwork every single time, even when there are plenty of other people who are capable of it.” You feel the urge to stand and have this argument, you’re getting heated in several ways now. 
“You do it better than everyone else.” He shrugs like it’s a valid excuse. 
“Bullshit.” You snark as he puts his head in his hands.
“And I like the excuse to see you.” He mumbles before looking back up at him.
“You make fun of how I dress.” You’re quick to change the subject, not wanting to fall victim to his charms. 
“I do not.” His voice pitches up defensively. 
“You said I dress like your grandma.”
“That was a compliment.” He can’t be serious.
“How the fuck is that a compliment?”
“I love my grandma very much.” He sounds serious. 
“You’re a nightmare.” You fall back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, your head swimming with confusion. 
“Have you ever considered that I just wanted to be around you? You assume that I just liked to bother you but maybe I just like being near you.” He stands as you sit up, a look of honest upset on his face. 
“You expect me to believe that you did those things because you like me? Are we in middle school, Peña? You could have just asked me out instead of pulling my pigtails on the playground.” You stand, not liking the power imbalance of having him towering over you where you sit. 
“I did, you said no.” He crosses his arms and you scoff. 
“You did not, you can’t just make things up to get out of this conversation.” You poke a finger into his chest but he just brushes it away. 
“I asked you out to lunch two weeks ago and you said no.”
“I think I would remember that if it happened.” His anger fizzles out a bit as he looks you up and down. 
“I may or may not have thrown your lunch out that day so you’d be more likely to accept.” He gives you a sheepish look. “But you were so mad you brushed it off.”
“That was a serious offer? I thought you were messing with me.” He just stares at you, wide puppy dog eyes you have to turn away from lest you fall for this act. You don’t get a moment's rest though because as you stare at the floor a particularly harrowing thought crosses your mind. 
“How much did you read?” You turn back to him quickly. 
“Enough.” When you turn back to him he’s staring at his hands again. 
You both know what that means. 
“It seemed a little familiar.” He says softly. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You want him out, now.
“Don’t play dumb, you know what I’m talking about.” You’re going to look at job listings once he goes home. 
“I think you should leave.” You clear your throat, nodding towards the door. 
“I’m not leaving until we talk about it.” 
“I don’t want to talk about it.” You sit back down on your bed, your legs feeling unsteady. 
“Well I do.” He takes a few steps in your direction and you immediately regret sitting. 
“I don’t care what you want, get out of my apartment, now.” You head is tilted up completely as you glare at him.
“Do you really not realize exactly what is happening here?” You can feel his breath on your face, cigarettes and spearmint. You turn your head to the side, refusing to look at him. 
This is exactly what happens in your story. 
“You’re an idiot.” You whisper, willing yourself not to get any more upset than you already are. 
“You wrote your story about us.” He says each word sharply as you grit your teeth. 
“I did not.” Now who’s just making things up to get out of a conversation?
“Everything that I did to you, he does to her.”
You don’t have a response to that. What are you supposed to say? He’s right, straight down to the confrontation where he tells her he wants her and she tells him that can’t be possible. He hates her. 
He kneels in front of the bed, moving to be in your eye line and when you go to turn your head he grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him. 
“I really did like your story.” You shove his hand away as he says it.
“Don’t mock me.” 
“Jesus, what do I have to do to make you realize I don’t have an ounce of contempt for you?” He stands, throwing his hands up in defeat.
You finally snap. 
“Maybe stop taking my shit and stop giving me extra work and stop invading my privacy and just fucking talk to me like an adult, you arrogant, immature, son of a-“ He grabs your face in both of his hands as he leans down and crashes his lips against yours, you let out a surprised squeak as he cups your jaw. After a moment he pulls back and you’re left staring at him dumbfounded. 
“Now, can we please talk about it?” He mumbles before pulling you in again for a single chaste kiss. 
“Okay.” You feel a little breathless at the abruptness of his actions. 
“I really liked it.” He smiles now, the energy in the room changing drastically. 
“You keep saying that.” You whisper.
“It’s true.”
“Wanna give me some constructive criticism?” You laugh but you can see his eyes flicker to the ceiling quickly and suddenly you want to press further. 
“You know you quoted me word for word a couple of times.” 
“You’re avoiding the question.” You laugh again but now you’re genuinely curious. 
“I guess I thought the sex scenes were the tiniest bit unrealistic.”
“Unrealistic?” You feign offense. 
“Well yeah I mean, it’s written like you’ve never had sex. They go at it all night and he never needs any breaks? And doesn’t she have like twenty orgasms? I’m pretty sure she’d be in terrible pain at that point.” He laughs softly but when you furrow your brows he stops. “I assumed because it’s fantasy that that’s intentional though.” He adds on quickly at the end. 
Your embarrassment is clear on your face as his own expression goes to one of poorly concealed surprise. 
“You’ve never-” He whispers, clearly shocked. 
“I’ve never.” You finish his sentence, not wanting to hear it out loud. 
“I mean, that’s fine.” His ears are burning red. 
“I know it’s fine.” You mumble. “I’ve had opportunities to, I just… I don’t know, I guess I made it too big of a deal in my mind and now I just don’t care but I’ve waited this long and-”
“Cariña, it’s fine.” He interrupts you now, that soft smile on his face never wavering. 
“Do you think my writing would be better if I had more experience?” You say it like it’s a joke but he sees right through you.  
“I’m not sure, how much experience do you have just in general?” He stands, moving to sit beside you on the bed. 
“Well I’ve kissed people before.”
“That’s it?” You glare at him and he coughs nervously. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.”
“I’ve been busy with work, it's just, it’s never been a priority of mine.”
“You do know… how to do it? Right?” You smack him on the arm. 
“Of course I know how to do it, you read my stuff.”
“That’s why I’m asking.”
“Oh come on, you said it was good!” 
“It is good! Everything but the dirty stuff is really good!” You groan, putting your head in your hands, he sits quietly beside you for a bit, rubbing your back. 
“Do you want me to teach you?” He says lightheartedly. 
“Seriously?” You glare at him. 
“It’s the least I can do for unintentionally making your work life hell.” He’s starting to sound more genuine in his over, it sends a chill down your spine. 
“So what? We just… do it?” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the idea of losing it to someone who knows what he’s doing. 
“No we don’t ‘just do it.’ we do other stuff first.” He sounds amused but you’re glad he doesn’t outright laugh at you. 
“Can you just- can you just tell me what to do?” You rest your head on his shoulder briefly and he runs his fingers through your hair. 
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes please.” You mumble, feeling a strange mix of aroused and nervous. 
“Well, in one of the later chapters she blows him, right?” You nod slowly. “And you say it’s her first time doing it, she probably shouldn’t have been able to just take all of him in her mouth right off the get go, especially since he’s apparently nine inches? Which is a whole separate issue by the way.” You can feel your face getting hot all over again as he explains everything like it’s obvious. “If you want to start there we can do that.” He murmurs, trying to meet your gaze but you just keep trying to look anywhere else. 
“How big is it supposed to be normally?” You chew on your lip, hoping you don’t sound stupid, you couldn’t be more thankful when he once again doesn’t laugh. 
“It depends, but nine inches is a bit outlandish. Have you ever actually looked at that on a ruler? It’s way bigger than you think.” He holds out the estimated size with his hands and you have to stifle a giggle. 
“Fair enough.” You lean against him one last time before sliding off the bed, kneeling in front of him. “So she’s like this.” You watch his throat bob as he swallows harshly, everything is starting to quickly become real as he nods. You reach your hands towards the noticeably larger bulge in his strict jeans, stopping just before you touch him. “Can I?” 
“Yeah, of course.” With his approval you gingerly unzip the restrictive fabric, watching his half hard dick spring free. He’s certainly not nine inches but he’s still intimidating. You don’t have a frame of reference but you have to assume he’s on the bigger side of things. 
“You don’t wear underwear?” You scoff, trying to lighten the mood despite the combined anxiety and arousal pulsing through you right now.
“Not usually.” He murmurs, notably softer than before. 
“What do I do first?” 
“If you want, you can start by touching it, just do what feels right.” He reaches down to hold your face for a moment until you’re able to calm down a bit. You reach forward at a snail's pace until finally wrapping a hand around the base, jumping a bit as you feel him twitch against your palm. You slowly stroke him, just once before looking up at him, a reassuring smile on his face as you stroke him a few more times, feeling him swell until he stands fully erect. Almost absentmindedly your other hand drifts between your legs, you experimentally grind against your own hand as you continue to leisurely jerk him off, watching how he grips the sheets when you run your thumb over his drooling tip. 
“What do I do next?” You look up at him. 
“Spit on it, hermosa.” His voice is raspy and you sit up on your knees, a line of spit falling from your mouth onto the head of his cock, drawing a hiss past his teeth. It’s easier to stroke him when it’s wet, you experiment with different speeds, watching his reactions until in a moment of bravery you tentatively guide him into your mouth. You can’t help but feel pleased when his hand instinctively flies to your hair, not moving you in any direction, just holding you. You swirl your tongue around the tip, tasting the bitter pre-cum as you open your jaw a bit wider, letting him slide over your tongue. As you take him deeper you feel him against your throat and you quickly gag, coughing a bit as he gently pulls you off. “Go slow, don’t take more than you’re able to.” You cough again, catching your breath before taking him in your mouth again, slower this time. “Use your hands on the rest.” He murmurs, the low tone shoots through you and you quickly go back to touching yourself with one hand while using the other to stroke the half of his length that you can’t fit in your mouth. 
After a few minutes you begin to moan against him as you try to reach your own peak, your hand now haphazardly shoved down the front of your pants. He’s leaning back, his pupils pitch black as he watches you, his breathing unsteady. 
“You think you’re ready for more?” He says sweetly, caressing your hair. You pop off of him, watching a line of spit going from the head of his cock to your lips. 
“Sure.” You feel less nervous than you thought you’d be as you stand up, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand. You feel all fuzzy and slick between your legs, your pussy aches with need as he takes your hand, pulling you onto the bed with him. You sit up against the headboard as he strips completely, discarding his shirt and shoving his pants all the way down. 
You can’t help but take in the sight of him as he turns back to you. 
His warm sun kissed skin, the wide expanse of his shoulders a sharp ratio to his slim waist. He’s toned but he’s soft around the edges and his cock stands proud against the thatch of hair on his lower abdomen. You tilt your head the way it curves, admiring it until he laughs. 
“I want you to do something for me that wasn’t in the story.” He climbs back into bed with you, playing with the waistband of your sweats. 
“Sure, what is it?” You lift your hips, letting him pull them down, tossing them off the bed. 
“I want you to show me how you touch yourself.” You stare at him, a little shocked by the request, your eyes going wide. 
“Why?” 
“I want to see, I want you to show me what feels good.” You want to feel more self conscious but he’s completely naked and something about the fact that you’re still a little covered up helps you relax, with a soft sigh you gingerly slip your hand down the front of your panties. You go off of muscle memory, recalling what you would do if he wasn’t here. 
Tracing your fingers in delicate circles around your clit, watching as he begins to touch himself, almost matching your pace. This would have been a fantasy of yours that you’d resort to when nothing else worked. Javier Peña in your bed, revealing some sort of secret attraction to you, you just never thought it would ever come to fruition. 
But here he is.
Ravaging you with his eyes as you dip two fingers into yourself with a shuddering breath, his own movements stuttering a bit as you do so. With everything leading up to this it isn’t hard to feel the familiar heat building as you expertly push yourself towards it. After a few moments more you shove your panties down completely, wanting to be unencumbered as you discard them. Without them restricting you, you can easily feel that hot tightening sensation approaching rapidly. Your breathing gets heavy as you grind your fingers against your palm, you feel the familiar fiery sensation in the bottom of your stomach as you start haphazardly fucking your own hand, you keep your eyes on the way he fucks his own until you’re just about to burst and he takes hold of your wrist, stopping you.
“Please I-” You let out a frustrated whine but he shushes you with a quick peck.
“I know, can I do it?” You nod frantically, you’d like nothing more. He gently pushes two fingers into you, you gasp in surprise at the sudden stretch as he slides them in and out slowly, continuing to jerk himself off with his other hand as he watches how you eagerly suck him in. 
It doesn’t take much from there. 
His thumb mirrors the motions you did against your clit and that’s all he has to do to push you over the edge. Your cunt spasming around his fingers as he works you through your orgasm, hot white burns the edges of your vision and you keep your eyes open long enough to watch as he squeezes the base of his own cock, groaning as he makes his own attempts not to finish. You're vaguely aware of him murmuring something that sounds like praise in Spanish as you get your bearings, he slowly removes his fingers, leaning forward on his knees to kiss you. You catch your breath through the kiss until finally he pulls back.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” His breathing heavy as he nudges his forehead against yours. 
“Is it gonna hurt?” You’re more curious than nervous at this point. 
“It shouldn’t, and if it does I’ll stop, okay?” He hops off the bed for a moment, searching through his wallet before tossing you a condom. 
“Okay.”
“And you’re sure this is what you want?” You carefully tear open the condom wrapper, handing him the rubber ring with a nod, watching how he aptly rolls it onto his cock. 
“Probably wouldn’t have come this far if I didn’t.” You slide down the bed a bit so you’re mostly laying on your pillows as he positions himself on top of you. He still seems worried about you so you reach forward, taking his cock in your hand and guiding him between your legs. 
You can’t help but sharply inhale as he eases just the tip into you, your eyes flutter shut and your mouth opens slightly as you sigh.  
God, you wish you’d done this sooner. 
It doesn’t hurt. You expected a stinging, or a tearing, instead it’s just pressure. When you open your eyes you find his squeezed shut now as he slowly works himself into you, rocking slowly back and forth. He keeps your foreheads pressed together, occasionally, bumping his nose against yours. 
“Still good?” He whispers, a noticeable strain to his voice. You nod, watching curiously as he pushes his hips forward in one last motion to fully seat himself in your heat. His jaw is tense and he’s breathing through his teeth. “So fucking tight.” He mumbles before leaning forward, groaning into your mouth. 
“Does it hurt?” You ask when he pulls himself away with a soft smile. 
“No, it just makes me worried about hurting you.”
“I’m okay, I want you to move.” You look down to where the two of you are joined. Watching how he gently pulls himself from you just a bit before pushing back in. That’s when he bumps against that spot inside of you that suddenly has you seeing stars, your hands grip his shoulders as a moan slips out of you, the grin you’ve seen a hundred times before forms on his face, you’d once hated it but now it has you gushing around him. 
“Does that feel good?” He tilts his head to the side, nudging his nose against your temple as you nod fervently. He repeats the motion, pulling out about halfway before snapping his hips forward again, your back arching when he slams into the sweet spot inside of you. 
“Fuck- Peña, right there.” You whine, your nails leaving little crescent indents in the tan flesh of his shoulders. He gets into a steady rhythm with it, crashing into you with precise deliberate strokes, designed to make your head spin. He grits his teeth once more, his breath going ragged.
“Javier.” He pants, gripping your waist to hold you still. For a brief moment you almost see vulnerability in his eyes. 
“Just like that, Javier.” You stammer out as he bends one of your legs up, pressing you into the mattress further as he throws your ankle over his shoulder, the new angle letting him fuck far deeper into you than you even thought possible. The soft and slow Javier starts to dissipate as he bares his teeth, his breath hot and heavy through his tense jaw as he slams into you. The second orgasm building in your stomach isn’t like anything you’ve ever felt before, it’s molten inside of you, threatening to burst as he brings a hand to your clit.
“Shit- tell me when you’re close.” He growls, your vision’s already blurring again as an unfamiliar pressure settles within you. 
“I- I am.” You pant out, he accentuates each thrust with a grunt and you feel yourself slip as he applies the slightest pressure to your sensitive bundle of nerves. You’re positive you’ve never come like this before, you soak his cock, a flood of your release pulses out of you as you strangle his cock. He collapses into you, your orgasm sending him over his own edge. You feel him throbbing within you as he groans into the pillow next to you. The two of you lay in a sweaty, breathless heap for a moment until he pulls out of you with a hiss, rolling over, his chest heaving as he lays beside you. 
“Now do you believe that I don’t hate you?” He gasps out. 
“I might need a little more convincing.” You grin, reaching behind you to turn your lamp off before rolling yourself over so you're on top of him.
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a/n : I have a very serious love hate relationship w this.
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wisecrackingeric-2 · 1 year
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SPOILERS FOR SEPERATE WAYS UNDER CUT N O T OPEN IT IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE EM!!!!!!!!
Here’s my little tiny exploration of Luis’ character because it is my god-given duty to pull him apart and analyse him
• Ok so first off………. THE OPENING SCENE??????????? Oh my god there’s S O MUCH TO TALK ABT. Yes Luis dancing is hot as SHIT but also???????? He was about to get TORTURED and MURDERED and he STILL decided to have fun with it and do a lil dance?????? That’s so!!!!!!!!!! He wants to live out his fantasies right until the end!!!!! He truly does think his confidence can get him anywhere!!!!!!! And then when the dance ends he’s READY TO FISTFIGHT THE MONKS?????? NO WEAPONS HES FULLY ABIUT TO GO FISTFIGHT THEM???? He KNOWS it’s a loosing battle but he’s gonna fight tooth and nail to the very end!!!!!!!!!!!
• Also when he turns to face the person who was also dying in the cell and says “this next dance is for you brother” and we get a close up of his face……….. god it hurts to know that that was a person. Somebody who was beautiful in their own right and maybe even somebody who meant something to Luis. Even in the face of death Luis sees the beauty in it ARGHGAGWHSGSB
• Also also I’m sure SOMEBODY could find meaning behind the Flamenco (somebody more knowledgeable in Spanish culture than me) but I’ve heard some people say it symbolises capture and death???? CAPCOM HOW DARE YOU HURT ME SO
• I LOVE that we get to see a more relaxed side of Luis around Ada and less of his flirtiness and damn. It’s so obvious he and Leon are in Love. He’s trying soooooooo hard to impress Leon every time they talk by being super flirty with him and then whenever he’s with Ada he’s a total nerd he’s soooooooooooooo in love w that blonde twink
• GODDAMN THAT FIRE SCENE. WHAT I S N T THERE TO TALK ABOUT??????? First of all the paralells between his childhood where he watched his grandfather die in a fire?????? Also he FULLY RAN INTO A BURNING BUILDING AND ALMOST DIED J U S T TO GET LEON HIS MEDICINE????????????? HE CARES ABOUT LEON SM I WANNA RIP SOMETHING APART. He didint wanna see Leon die in the same way his Grandfather did because he couldn’t save his Grandfather back then!!!!!!!!!!! He wants to make things right!!!!!! HE WAS LITERALLY ON HIS HANDS AND LNEES CRYING I CANT I CANT
• Also ADA CARES ABT LUIS SM,,,,,,,, SHE RAN INRO A BURNING BUILDING TO SAVE HIM AND MAKE SURE HE DIDINT DIE,,,, THE BESTIES EVAH
• godDAMN that scene where Luis heals Ada?????? I LOVE that we see him hesitate for a good solid few seconds on wether or not he should run away from her or stay,,, wether or not he should go back to his usual habits of running away from the people he loves or stay to help,,,, ANS HE STAYS TO HELP BECAUSE HE CARES ABY ADA AND ALSO??? ADA BEING LIKE “leave me here……… besides…… you’ve got a promise to keep……..” OOOOOOOUGGHHH SHE KNOWS,,,, SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH LEON MEANS TO HIM I CANNOG RN also that lil apothecary thing he had was sooooo gender of him
•OH MY GOD HIS DEATH SCENE WHERE HE CALLS HER?????????????? I don’t remember EXACTLY what he said and I’d have to comb through like hours of footage to find it again but,,,,,. THE FACT THAT HE CALLED HER TO SAY GOODBHE????? HE CARES ABOUT HER RIGHT UMTIL THE END?????? AND HE CALLS HIMSELF HER ‘Good Samaritan’ IN THE SAME WAY HE CALLS HIMSELF DON QUIXOTE TO LEON AOAOAISAUJSSOSISKS,,,,,, and then he’s like “sorry I’ve gotta go Leon needs my help ;)” OUGH,,,,, I’m gonna reference another post from my mutual but it’s so sad that Luis got to spend the rest of his life with Leon but not the other way round………………..
• I’m so glad we got to see more of Luis and more of his personality when he’s not tryna swoon the blonde twink he’s in love with BXNSBEHEJXIAIS he feels like such a deep and real human being especially whenever he interacts with Ada and I just,,,,,,,,,, sigh. He’s my favourite character for a reason. 10/10 no notes
• Edit: also the parallels between Luis calling himself Ada’s ‘Good Samaritan’ and Leon his Sancho like AAAAAAAAAA???? You could pick apart the meaning and argue abt how good samaritans are usually friends and Sancho is a code word for Gay Lover in a lot of old fashioned Spanish bars like how ‘friends of Dorothy’ was but ANSNWUENDUNXXUNDDHXN SHUT UP I can’t rn
•Also I’m SURE you could pull some symbolism from the bugs and from Luis having an apothecary as catholic self-exorcism and how ‘science is the roof of all evil’ and Luis is using it to help others etc etc etc……….
Also if anyone else finds anything abt luis lore wise like how you have to find a picture of his grandfather or of him with Umbrella in the original PLEEEEAAAAASSSWE SHOW ME I NEED MORE LUIS BACKSTORY I NEED IT IN MY VEINS
• ALSO ALSO EDIT: the fact that one of the ingredients for his cure are butterfly wings???? And butterflies symbolise CHANGE????? HIS ENTIRE ARC IS ABT CHANCE??????? I’m actually gonna be sick.
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birdofprey1234 · 7 months
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Hello all. In case you've been unaware, recently tumblr has begun rolling out a partnership with Midjourney to scrape the entire website and its users' posts for their AI training. This includes peoples art, and probably also writing and photography. Anything you've posted the company may use for training, and you are opted IN by default.
Obviously this blog has been inactive for quite a while now, and no new art has been or will be posted here, but this puts me in a difficult position. I'm not sure exactly what I'm gonna do with this blog from here on. Some people have recommended editing posts to put a glaze filter over old art so that it's unusable, but I have many hundreds of posts, not all of which are tagged, and I'm unsure whether the AI training has already gotten a hold of them or not, making the potential filter useless. Not to mention the reblogs that already exist of the old un-glazed artwork.
I considered deleting everything, maybe even the blog itself, but that idea...sucks. I like the idea and the feeling that though I'm not active, my art is still out in the fandom tags somewhere, and that I have had an effect on the fandoms I was in and shared my art with. And again, the reblogs still exist, so I'm not sure what that would mean in terms of AI scraping. My worry is that deleting my blog would only relinquish any control I do have of what is done with my art.
As it is I'm kind of at a standstill. I was recently thinking over sharing my art again on other blogs, since I do miss being a part of that creative space. But now this change has kind of crushed that idea entirely. All this, plus the extreme transmisogyny apocalypse happening on here in the last month, and the seeming silencing of important movement tags like palestine, it really makes me want to ditch tumblr altogether. I've seen many people considering switching platforms. There's been a lot of markiplier mutuals specifically who have encouraged me to join cohost, I also have seen pillowfort as an option for others. But those platforms are new, kind of janky and will be hard to get used to for me. Plus, idk if I'm using them wrong but there's like...11 posts in each tag that I've seen so far, which kind of kills the feeling of being a part of a big open fan community I really love. Cohost seems like a nice platform, but if only 30-35 people move over, then it's really going to be a moot point. I wanna be where everyone else in the fandom is. I worry that this mass migration will only splinter communities, as we're all going to different places. I don't want to make 500 accounts on different platforms just to stay active and feel aware in the community.
My entire online social life up to this point has basically been on tumblr, I have a lot of blogs with a LOT of memories attached to them, and it would hurt to just drop them and move away.
Overall I'm at a loss. I enjoy sharing my work, my ideas and thoughts, I like being a part of these creative communities. But it seems like everyday the online space becomes more and more hostile toward creatives and fans, and much more advertiser friendly. One thing i never ever wanted to happen was for my art to be used for AI, and I naively thought that tumblr would be safe in that way. Guess not. I sometimes wonder if eventually all large social media will crash down and The People will dedicate to going back to personal websites and forums. I would enjoy a space where I could share my art on my own terms, and not have other peoples interaction with it overshadow everything else.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. For now I will be staying on tumblr until I figure it out, but definitely no more posting creatively. I want to try to keep my work up if I can. I would recommend on all your blogs going to settings and toggling ON "prevent third-party sharing for this blog", as that will let tumblr know you wish your work, including reblogs of it to be excluded from the scraping. I'm unsure how actually useful this will be, or how much the company will respect these wishes but. It's there. I would also love for you to come talk with me @boobookiss and, hey, maybe make a cohost account. I'm on there as boobookiss as well. I hope to keep touch with you all and see this little community stay together.
50 notes · View notes
Text
Hello Everypony :3
finally doing one of these, lol
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💙About me!💜
Welcome to my blog for,,, everything! No sideblogs around here we die like men/j
My name is Oliver, but you can also call me oli! (ive got other names too, but that's the main one, check my pronouns page for the whole list!)
Xe/Void/Fox/It/They pronouns but get silly with it, i dont mind!! (except she/her)
We're a system! We dont talk about it a lot but sometimes it comes up yay!!
important post you should read!
I write and draw tho i am better at writing, lmao
@inky-drawings is my lovely girlfriend whom i love very much<333
@azamonvoid is my sib from another crib whom if i dont see soon heads will start rolling<3
@lmanburgseulogy SUPER AMAZING person (cough im copying part of the intro from bug), also my twin o7
@willthemicrowave AMAZING DUDE. Tem you're super cool
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❌DNIs❌
cc!Wilbur and/or cc!Dream Team supporters. If i ever post about them its the characters.
-> also, if you see me reblogging from someone who supports them, please warn me!
Anyone who engages in discourse, esp syscourse. I do not care, let people live. Any interaction about it will be ignored and/or deleted. This isnt the place for it.
People in poppytwt/blr. I understand some people write it or engage in it to cope, but it personally just makes us uncomfortable. Thank you.
Just in general hateful people. Transphobes, terfs, homophobes, misogyinists misandrists ect ect. It is not that hard to leave people alone, and if you can't, get out.
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✨ (main) Fandoms!! ✨
Hermitcraft/Life series!! My faves are Grian, Etho, Impulse, Zed, Jimmy and Mumbo (not in that order)
-> i engage in shipping the characters, quite a lot,,, if it makes you uncomfortable this ain't the place for you lol
DSMP! my mains are sbi (especially twinsduo you will always be famous to me,,,,), and sometimes feral boys!
-> i dont care most of those people are problematic now, my au just took a general outline of the smp then rewrote everything. There is barely any connection w/actual canon
SCU/Slimecicle cinematic universe!! Blame @alliumsmybeloved for this/j
Hollow Knight! Quirrel, Hornet, Hollow and Ghost are my faves!
-> nothing much other than i hate the traitor lord with a burning passion, lol
and many, many more!! Including percy jackson, portal, ect - these are just the ones im hyperfixating on the most lately!!
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⚠ Terms and conditions? ⚠
I'm ok with flirting but ask first just to be sure!
autistic silly little guy. Sometimes i get too much, feel free to tell me if i exagerate and get weird!
-> be nice about it tho, please,,,
send asks send asks!!! They're so silly i love em<333
i do take requests on doodles, headcanons, snippets ect!! It just takes me a bit sometimes to answer!
I have a dsmp/hermitcraft/qsmp/ect au im working on, my magnum opus/j, go check it out it's @the-caladrius-au RAAHHH
I write about the characters, never the ccs.
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💬Tag guide!💬
#Oli talks! -> silly tag for everything of mine, rambles,art, writing, reblogs (sometimes,,,)
#shift talks! -> like the above but for shift, one of our other alters :3
#Olis faves -> fav posts and/or posts i want to look back on!
#Oli writes -> pretty self explanitory, for when i write :3
#Oli draws -> for my art n doodles!
#Mutuals my beloveds -> Moot tag!!! For asks or when i talk with/about my mutuals! (if i forget to put it in a post with you, feel free to tell me!)
#nonnies my beloveds -> anon asks
#Beloveds! -> posts about/with @inky-drawings and/or @azamonvoid
#higgs Field au and #HFAU -> posts about my dsmp x Hermitcraft rewrite au
#the multiverse system -> stuff about our system!
#the horrors saga -> the horrors,,,,,, I just wanna write,,,,
#Twinsduo crumbs -> any and all Twinsduo content because I'm normal about them (lie)
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-> if i forget to tag things properly feel free to remind me!!!
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[plain text under cut]
Hello Everypony :3
finally doing one of these, lol
💙About me!💜
Welcome to my blog for,,, everything! No sideblogs around here we die like men/j
My name is Oliver, but you can also call me oli! (ive got other names too, but that's the main one, check my pronouns page for the whole list!)
They/It/xe pronouns but get silly with it, i dont mind!! (except she/her)
We're a system! We dont talk about it a lot but sometimes it comes up yay!!
important post you should read!
I write and draw tho i am better at writing, lmao
@inky-drawings is my lovely girlfriend whom i love very much<333
@azamonvoid is my sib from another crib whom if i dont see soon heads will start rolling<3
@lmanburgseulogy SUPER AMAZING person (cough im copying part of the intro from bug), also my twin o7
@willthemicrowave AMAZING DUDE. Tem you're super cool
❌DNIs❌
cc!Wilbur and/or cc!Dream Team supporters. If i ever post about them its the characters.
-> also, if you see me reblogging from someone who supports them, please warn me!
Anyone who engages in discourse, esp syscourse. I do not care, let people live. Any interaction about it will be ignored and/or deleted. This isnt the place for it.
People in poppytwt/blr. I understand some people write it or engage in it to cope, but it personally just makes us uncomfortable. Thank you.
Just in general hateful people. Transphobes, terfs, homophobes, misogyinists misandrists ect ect. It is not that hard to leave people alone, and if you can't, get out.
✨ (main) Fandoms!! ✨
Hermitcraft/Life series!! My faves are Grian, Etho, Impulse, Zed, Jimmy and Mumbo (not in that order)
-> i engage in shipping the characters, quite a lot,,, if it makes you uncomfortable this ain't the place for you lol
DSMP! my mains are sbi (especially twinsduo you will always be famous to me,,,,), and sometimes feral boys!
-> i dont care most of those people are problematic now, my au just took a general outline of the smp then rewrote everything. There is barely any connection w/actual canon
SCU/Slimecicle cinematic universe!! Blame @alliumsmybeloved for this/j
Hollow Knight! Quirrel, Hornet, Hollow and Ghost are my faves!
-> nothing much other than i hate the traitor lord with a burning passion, lol
and many, many more!! Including percy jackson, portal, ect - these are just the ones im hyperfixating on the most lately!!
⚠ Terms and conditions? ⚠
I'm ok with flirting but ask first just to be sure!
autistic silly little guy. Sometimes i get too much, feel free to tell me if i exagerate and get weird!
-> be nice about it tho, please,,,
send asks send asks!!! They're so silly i love em<333
i do take requests on doodles, headcanons, snippets ect!! It just takes me a bit sometimes to answer!
I have a dsmp/hermitcraft/qsmp/ect au im working on, my magnum opus/j, go check it out it's @the-caladrius-au RAAHHH
I write about the characters, never the ccs.
💬Tag guide!💬
#Oli talks! -> silly tag for everything of mine, rambles,art, writing, reblogs (sometimes,,,)
#shift talks! -> like the above but for shift, one of our other alters :3
#Olis faves -> fav posts and/or posts i want to look back on!
#Oli writes -> pretty self explanitory, for when i write :3
#Oli draws -> for my art n doodles!
#Mutuals my beloveds -> Moot tag!!! For asks or when i talk with/about my mutuals! (if i forget to put it in a post with you, feel free to tell me!)
#nonnies my beloveds -> anon asks
#Beloveds! -> posts about/with @inky-drawings and/or @azamonvoid
#higgs Field au and #HFAU -> posts about my dsmp x Hermitcraft rewrite au
#the multiverse system -> stuff about our system!
#the horrors saga -> the horrors,,,,,, I just wanna write,,,,
#Twinsduo crumbs -> any and all Twinsduo content because I'm normal about them (lie)
-> if i forget to tag things properly feel free to remind me!!!
23 notes · View notes
chuuyaszn · 3 months
Text
⋆。°✩ blog directory ⋆。°✩
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harper (i don’t mind nicknames at all)
i post: bsd stuff + personal
virgo + intj
minor/she-her/bi
english + french
blog is 12+ please
tags:
#{harper’s personal} : my personal rants and stuff in my life
#{updates} : exactly what it sounds like
#{mutuals!} : for interactions with moots
#{harper’s art} : my drawings
#{harper rambles} : i yap.
#{harper’s asks} : i answer
#{tag games} : for tags
if not tagged with one of these it would be a BSD post :)
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mutuals ! (i want moreee)
🤍: frequently interact
🐚: don’t know very well
(sorry for the tags)
🤍 @persimmonpoet super cool yippee (most interacted w)
🤍 @itzmoonies we have to be friends cause of our mbti/j but you’re cool :D
🤍 @zestylemonsz heh… kitten..
🤍 @sabatonobsession also very cool :>
🤍 @zenitsustherapist super freaky cool
🤍 @kaiserkisser
🐚 @fishii28 u seem so coolll !!
🐚 @till-we-become-monsters
🐚 @utterlybrainwrecked
🐚 @fckinghunt
🐚 @turnedfromgreed
🐚 @wariorofjustice
🐚 @flapjacksboi
🐚 @suicideenthusiast
🐚 @crowscadence
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stuff i like + wanna talk abt
tdlosk, bsd, tv girl, chapell roan, cas, mitski, ldr, jjk, kakegurui, ts4, death note, hxh, minecraft, + more idk
fav characters: yumeno (q), mushitarō, lucy, ango, atsushi, kyouka, chuuya, gin, nikolai, fyodor, aiura mikoto, itsuki sumeragi
kin list :>
maki zenin (jjk), mary saotome (kg) lucy montgomery (bsd) junichiro tanizaki (bsd) haruhi fujioka (ohshc)
ok that’s all :D
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dividers by @enchanthings
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savventeen · 1 year
Note
hmm savv what would u do with mutual pining and woozi? :3c
daisy,,, beloved,,,,,,,,,, how dare you make me think about mutual pining w/ woozi ( /hj ) (i am already pining for him and thinking abt MUTUAL pining is going to drive me actually insane methinks g o d sdkjflskjdf)
ok so. SO. after vibrating in my seat and fantasizing abt lying down in the middle of the floor for the rest of time as i think about this concept, i have come to the following conclusion: mixtapes. and i mean in the classic "hey i made you this mixtape" sense
reader and jihoon are both producers for the same label and don't really interact that much at first. in fact, they don't actually even meet for the first time until soonyoung invites them both to his birthday party and they start talking shop, bonding over teasing soonyoung, and then ending the night with a promise to grab lunch together sometime.
fast forward a couple of months and they are officially Friends. they've managed to start a tradition of getting lunch together once a week and bitching about various work bullshit, and they've also started to hang out together in group settings after realizing they have more mutual friends as well
reader is the first one to send jihoon a song. it's a few hours after their weekly vent session, jihoon having taken up most of the time complaining about shitty higher-ups giving ridiculous deadlines and stuck-up idol wannabes trying to tell him how to do his job without having a clue about what his job actually is, and he gets a message from reader that says "i feel like this fits ur current mood" with a link to a song. [cw the song linked has a somewhat startling gun sound] he clicks on the link, curious, and then bursts out laughing after a few confused moments of listening bc that was NOT what he was expecting, at all
and that's how it starts, really. a few days later, he sends reader a song with the caption "how much u wanna bet soonyoung would choreograph something to this just bc it has the word 'tiger' in the title" / "no bet he absolutely would" / "ur no fun :P" / "sorry can't hear you i'm sending it to soonyoung as we speak"
pretty soon they're sending songs back and forth almost daily "what are ur thoughts on this" / "?? i don't speak french" / "and?" / "...ok yeah this is p good" "is this kinda close to the vibe you're trying to get for that one group you're working with?" / "not quite. but that's ok bc IM Vibin with this one" "i need u to stop whatever ur doing and listen to this with the bassist bass you can get with w/ ur setup" / "ok??" ... "holy shit" / "RIGHT?"
fast forward another couple of months, and reader shows up to jihoon's studio with a can of coke zero and a flash drive. "what's this?" / "this, my dear woozi-ssi, is going to be the solution to our creative blocks" and then reader goes on to explain their idea: they both have tracks that they're stuck on (personal, professional, or otherwise), and so they're gonna 'sisterhood of the traveling pants this shit' ('i literally have no idea what you're talking about'). aka: reader put some files they're having trouble with on this flash drive, and jihoon's gonna add any notes/ideas he has and then give it back with some of his own trouble files on it. rinse and repeat
and not only does it work ("ohmygod i've been trying to figure out that bridge transition for DAYS THANK YOU") but it also becomes Their Thing. like, they're used to collaborating with other writers/producers/etc bc it comes with the job, but something about this silly little flash drive... feels Special. [*cough*it's because they're catching Feelings*cough*]
tHIS IS GETTING SO LONG FUCK OKAY other things i would include in this fic: - one noticing the other has been working on a lot more love songs lately (or maybe a lot more Sad (read: pining) love songs) - reader has a bad day at some point and they end up losing the flash drive and they have a breakdown over it (jihoon comforts them and also helps them find it we love emotional hurt/comfort in this household) - scenes where they're individually waxing poetic about the other to different friends and the friends are like "bro. ur in love with them" "uh, no? they just have a great work ethic and a great taste in music also their lyricism is just—" "you. are. in. love." "i admire them professionally!
AND THEN THE CONCLUSION!! one of them decides to bite the metaphorical bullet and confess their Feelings. this could be either of them, but i'm gonna go with jihoon bc i can. so of course he can't just say "hey i love you" like a normal person, he has to confess through music. so he goes out and buys a new flash drive (with a really cute cover bc he knows they'd like it) and puts two folders on there. the first folder is full of instrumental files and is titled "all the times i couldn't find the words". and the second folder is titled "and all the times i could" and it's all love songs he's written inspired by/for reader
he sneaks into their studio and leaves the flash drive on your desk while you're in a meeting, and then he Waits and waits and waits some more until it's time to go home and it's been total radio silence and his heart feels like it's been crushed. so he starts to head home in the rain (bc i am a cheesy bastard and love rainy confession scenes) but after a few minutes of walking he hears shouting behind him and he turns to see you sprinting at him while screaming his name and before he can get a word out you're clutching his shoulders, soaked to the bone and asking "do you mean it? the songs, did— do you really mean it?"
and all he can do is nod because his heart still hasn't quite found its way back to his chest yet, and then he can't nod anymore because you're kissing him. you're kissing him, and he drops the umbrella he was holding and you're both kissing in the rain bc you're both obnoxious helpless romantics and "y/n-ah, i mean it— i mean it. i love you"
"i love you too, you stupid romantic bastard oh my god"
"hey, you're the one who started kissing me in the rain"
and it ends like the cheesy romcom this turned into bc i couldn't help myself and i need to lie down in a puddle of feelings now k thx
[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]
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feedeebabyx · 7 months
Text
**new & updated**
intro to my page, PLS READ 🫶🏽
i love pink, black, and all things FAT, so if you don’t like feedism and fatties or pink, TOODLES B*TCHES 🤗💖(kidding w the pink🤣)
this is a feedism and all things fat blog🌸
⬆️( with a hint of food, cats and weed lmao )
pls don’t interact if this isn’t ur thing - there is no toleration of hate or judgement around these sides !
( 18+ ONLY PLS 🔞 )
LINK TO ME & MY WIFE’S JOINT/COUPLES FEEDISM PAGE⬇️✨🫶🏽
All my content on Tumblr & Instagram is free for the feedism community to enjoy including videos & pictures.. & being an active gainer is NOT cheap😭so if you would ever be so kind to donate, it would LITERALLY mean the absolute world🥺💖
PAYPAL LINK BELOW🥺⤵️
~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~
HELLO, HIIIIII & WELCOME 💜
I’m Feedee Baby☺️
THE OG FEEDEE BABY 🙈🤪
age : 21💕
sexuality: 🌈 femme lesbian ( and very taken💍 ) @studchublover7
pronouns : she/her 👩🏾‍🦱 (i’m a cis-gender women)
from: UK 🇬🇧
neurodivergent: Autistic & ADHD 💛
metrics:
SW: 191lbs (87kg)
CW: 260lbs (118kg)
GW: who knows?🤭
~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~
-if this is your place to be, then please give a follow and interact😗 don’t be shy !💕
-i am open to dms! (pls don’t be a creep, bcos i will block you🤣) i’d really love to make some more friends and mutuals in the feedism community. Also, NO MEN dm me please, it’s nothing personal, I just don’t feel comfortable talking with y’all..💕
-feedism is something so beautiful and healing for me, it’s all about enjoying food and loving my chubby body, i don’t really have a goal weight..i just wanna eat and love my fat lmao💕
-i’m also not bothered about how big i get, as long as i can still travel and live life☺️💖
~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~
kinks/what I AM into:
feedee, gainer, sapphic nsfw, weight gain, submissive, fat play, soft feedism, bdsm, light humiliation, belly worship, teasing, bloating/stuffing, tight clothes, size contrast
what i’m NOT into:
vore, scat/piss play, pet play, death feedism, immobility, extreme feedism, slob, extreme humiliation, mutual gaining
~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~
Everyone is welcome here as long as you’re kind!
LGBTQIA+ FRIENDLY BLOG🌈
&
DISABLED FRIENDLY BLOG♿️
🌸 WE ARE ALL EQUAL, NO MATTER OUR STRUGGLES OR WALK OF LIFE🌸
I HATE MEAN, ASSHOLES.. SO I WILL EXPOSE & SHUT bullies tf down😴
TRANSPHOBIC, HOMOPHOBIC OR FATPHOBIC PPL ARE NOT ALLOWED NEAR THIS BLOG! ANY SIGN & YOU GET BLOCKED & REPORTED IMMEDIATELY❌
~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~💖~🌸~
Now that’s all out of the way, enjoy my blog!
& keep getting fatter (for my gainers & feedees) 🫶🏽💖
and keep loving on the fat (for my Feeders, FAs & Encouragers)🫶🏽💖
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my-pjo-stuff · 2 months
Text
Third entry on my "Acctualy the PJO fandom isn't as great as y'all like to think it is" roll, and I already know I'm going to get hate for this. Anyway, I'm taking a Lukercy shipper over a Percabeth shipper any day.
When I say that,as a new fan, most the shipping drama comes from Percabeth shippers and just their general corner from what I observed, I am NOT lying.
Some of y'all are rabit- especially with your hatred of any girl getting it on with Percy that isn't Annabeth (*cough* Calypso and Rachel *cough*) And good god the reactions I saw from some of y'all to people who said they disliked Percabth. Lukercy shippers on the other hand? Nah coolest people ever. Literally just chilling in a corner doing their own thing. Most respectful group of shippers I have seen in any fandom. I have multiple mutuals who ship Lukercy, each one is the coolest most chillest person ever. Personally, I see Lukercy in a more platonic sense, when to topic of that ship ever came up the convo literally was just : "yeah I ship Lukercy" "Oh, okay. Personally not my cup of tea 'cause I see them more platonic" "lmao cool, anyway-" Meanwhile how it went when I talked about not liking Percabeth :
"I don't really like Percabeth tbh. I don't think their characters fit together and I'm just not that invested with Percy and Annabeth as a whole" "OMG How could you say that ! -Enter an essay about how great Percabeth is and how this is wrong, and how my opinion is a bad faith statement and toxic-"
I mean those interactions alone speak for themselves. And with all that being said huge hearts to all the Lukercy Shippers out there. You people are some of the only bits keeping me in this fandom despite all the Luke hate and toxicity. And listen before anyone wants to come at me- idgaf how "toxic" or "problematic" that ship is. Fandom purity panic let me go numb to any of those bullshit moral concerns. Ship and let ship, don't like don't read. The people are cool and that's all I care about. If u wanna argue w/ me have fun being blocked. I love Lukercy shippers, wish the rest of the fandom could be as cool as you guys. *edit* Okay I just found out that someone else I talked with also ships Lukery, and I see myself proven in my point. Shipping Lukercy is an immediate green flag. The data ain't lying.
17 notes · View notes
pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 6 months
Note
hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.
Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈
hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---
well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:
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the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..
i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.
thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.
and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.
thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9
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