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#i also wanna. be okay with. not finding someone
satorusugurugurl · 2 days
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How would satosugu, nanami, and choso react to reader trying to hide a really bad injury after a mission and thinking they’ll take care of it tomorrow, but they end up passing out or something ?
Mwah 💋
Hurt
Summary: You get injured on the job, and try to hide it from your boyfriend, how will they react when they find out the truth?
Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Choso Kam, FAB!Reader
Word Count: 4,221
Warning: Mentions of injuries, blood, suggestivness, little angsty, little crack!
A/N: Ah nothing like a good stern lecture from sexy anime men! Thank you for the request Nonnie enjoy!! 💚
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Gojo Satoru + Geto Suguru
This wasn’t good, nope, not in the slightest. Your side was killing you. The structures the doctor at the hospital did sting each time you moved, and you’d already taken the pain meds he had prescribed. You just needed to wait until tomorrow. Shoko said she’d heal you as soon as she was in town. Until then, you just needed to fake it.
“I don’t think you should be alone right now,” Ijichi announces as he opens the car door for you. “I should call Gojo and Geto to tell them what happened.”
“I’m fine,” you respond with a grimace. “They're busy teaching right now. I don’t wanna be a bother.”
“But you lost a lot of blood.”
“I'm fine!” you assured him, patting him on the back as you headed towards your house. “Don't call them. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Standing inside the threshold, you waved as he drove away, but the second the door shielded your face, you doubled over in pain. If the assistant supervisor had seen you like this, he wouldn’t have let you go inside alone. Your trusted friend would have called your partners, insisting for them to come home. If they had known what had happened, they would have cared for you, of course, but you would also have received a lecture on why you should be safe. Geto would insist you train specifically with him. Gojo would ensure you were sent on missions with him until they were sure you could protect yourself.
That would be the worst-case scenario. You hadn’t gotten injured like this in years. It wasn’t even your fault. The floor gave way, leaving you vulnerable for a second, totally not on you, but your boyfriends wouldn’t see it like that.
“Oooh fuck me.” You whimpered, resting your head against the door. “Fuck me”
“That can be arranged.” Hot breath fanned over your neck, making you jump. “Whoa, easy there!”
Gojo’s eyes were on you as soon as you turned toward the voice. They were full of happiness and joy over seeing you come home. “Satoru? What are you doing at home? Shouldn’t you be teaching right now?” Your sudden outburst had him blinking in confusion.
“All of the students were sent on missions,” Geto answered as he leaned against the wall, cocking an eyebrow. “There were no other missions, so we decided to surprise you.”
“Oooh!” The throbbing pain in your side had you wincing. “That’s great! Awesome, what a nice surprise!”
“You don’t look too excited,” Satoru bluntly called you out. “Are you sure you’re okay, sweetheart?”
“Oooh yeah, I’m great.” You were lying; you were far from great because the room was spinning. “I need to sit down; my feet are—” your vision blurred as you stumbled past Satoru leaning against the wall.
“You sure?” Suguru asked, gently grabbing your shoulder and steadying you. “You look pale.”
“I'm just tired.” the faster you got past them, the quicker you could get off your feet and relax.
Suguru releases your shoulder, letting you step towards the living room. “For someone who’s doing great. You sure are swaying a lot.” Satoru was by your side, watching you as if he thought you would fall, which you might end up doing.
“Yeah, I can assure you, I’m fine.” Your tone was as sharp as a knife, causing both partners to cease interrogation. “I just wanna sit down with you both., watch a movie and cuddle.”
Upon hearing your request, the request you always made when you returned from a mission. Both men fell into your routine. Suguru walked past you, heading to the couch, while Satoru ran to the bedroom.
“I’ll grab blankets!”
“Princess, do you want to grab the snacks? I’ll pick out the movie.” there was a particular look in your dark-haired boyfriend's eyes. He was trying to test you to see if you were as fine and dandy as you claimed to be
Knowing him, the interrogation would start if you asked to pick out the movie instead. Neither he nor Satoru would let up until you came clean about the injury. Once that was out in the open, you knew the lectures and scheduled training sessions would soon follow.
Blinking away, the blurry vision in your eyes, you gave Suguru a thumbs up, heading into the kitchen. You grab different kinds of snacks, candy, popcorn, and some chips. Each wavering movement had the stitches in your side screaming in protest; your sore skin begged for you to sit down and relax. You tried to fight through the pain, but your painkillers weren’t cutting in. Leaving you in a sheen sheet of sweat as you carried the bowls back to the living room.
Upon hearing your footsteps, Suguru turned just as Satoru returned with a blanket. The bowls in your hands felt like they weighed a ton as you tried stepping forward, but your legs refused to move. Suguru noticed your behavior, standing and taking a tentative step forward.
“Princess?” Two Suguru’s stood before you as your vision blurred with black spots. Something hot and wet ran down your side.
“Why are there two Suguru’s?” Your voice cracked as the bowls fell to the ground. “I-Is it my birthday?” Your hazy attention was suddenly on Satoru as you stumbled. “Oh,” Blinking at the Satoru’s rushing for you, the room suddenly turned on its side. Oh no, you were falling. “Fuck.”
Darkness overcame you, and thoughts of double Satoru’s and Suguru’s infiltrated your dreams. Dreams that were lewd, sweaty, and full of pleasure. But in the midst of your, what would you call it? SatoSugu orgy, Shoko appeared, staring down at you.
“Make sure you sterilize that wound,” Her cigarette bobbed between her lips. “Infection can set fast.”
“I know that.” The Suguru at your neck responded less out of breath than you were.
The Satoru between your legs looked back at Shoko. “Do you want us to bring her in tomorrow?”
“No, I’ll stop by on the way to work.”
As you blinked in your dreams, your groggy eyes opened, and you found yourself lying in bed. Suguru was shaking a spray bottle before spraying it on your side. The wound suddenly felt like hundreds of hot needles were stabbing it. With watering eyes, you screamed in pain. You knew the spray was supposed to help, but it seemed to enhance the throbbing pain in your side.
“Looks like your patient is awake.” Shoko chuckled on the phone Satoru held. The pain made you try to curl in on yourself just to have your boyfriend stop you. “I’ll let you guys go. See you in the morning.”
“Bye, thanks, Shoko.” the second you heard the FaceTime call, cerulean eyes met you. “Soo, you wanna try telling us how your mission went again?”
“N-No.”
“Ooh, she said no, Suguru.”
“That she did. Do you want to tell her?”
Your white-haired boyfriend shook his head, a sinister smile on his face. “No, I know you were looking forward to it.” Suguru’s eyes were shut as he gave you a gentle smile that wasn’t gentle in the slightest.
“Did you seriously think Shoko wouldn't call us and tell us about your injury?”
It feels like your house crashes around you. “That traitor.” Your wound receives another spray of antiseptic. “Ow fuck! What was that for?!” Suguru continues to smile, the smile that always scares the loving shit out of you.
“You heard Shoko, I need to make sure it’s clean.”
Satoru is by your side in an instant. “Why wouldn’t you tell us what happened? Did you think we were going to yell at you or something?” You bark out a laugh, giving them a look of disbelief.
“Yes! I made a rookie mistake. Regardless of how it happened, it ended with me leaving myself wide open and getting hurt in the process. I know that this one.” Suguru hums in response. He cleans up the bloodied gauze around you. “Is going to make me train with him. And you aren’t going to let me go on any missions by myself.”
“You’re right about one thing: you will be training with me every morning for a week.” Suguru pats you on the head.
“But you’re wrong about me going to higher-ups. I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself; you had an accident. You’re not the first sorcerer to get injured on the job.”
“Wait, seriously?”
Both your partners exchange a look with each other. “Yeah, we aren’t going to lock you in the apartment and not allow you to go out. You’re strong, but you shouldn’t have lied to us.” Suguru gently strokes your hair back. “So in the future, if you happen to get hurt, just be honest about it. You wouldn’t like it if Satoru or I hid something like that from you, would you?” They watch as you shake your head.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I won’t ever keep something like that from you guys again.”
“Good,” Suguru kisses your forehead as Satoru lies beside you on the bed. “but just because you apologized doesn’t mean you’re out of the woods yet.”
“Huh?”
Satoru claps his hands together above his head, drawing your attention. “Sex ban for a week.” If your side wasn’t screaming in pain, you would have sat up.
“S-Sex ban?! Why?! Shoko will have me all healed up tomorrow!”
“Your side might be healed, but our hearts are still wounded.” Faux sorrow is thick in Satoru’s voice.
“L-Let’s be reasonable about this! I haven’t seen you guys in like a week! I need you both!”
The sound of things being thrown in a trashcan draws your attention. “Should have thought about that before you lied to us. For the next week, you’re training with me; in that time, neither me nor Satoru will touch. You’re not even allowed to touch yourself. Princess, you’ll have to suffer and watch us go at it.” Satoru scrambles off the bed, throwing himself at Suguru, his delicate pink lips pressing against your boyfriend's. “It’s a shame, too, because you sounded like you were having a great time when you passed out earlier.” You helplessly lay in bed, watching your boyfriends make out with each other.
You never hid another injury from them after that torturous week.
Nanami Kento:
“Ow, ow, ow.” You gingerly touch the gash on the back of your head. It throbbed in pain to the point it was making you dizzy. You had Nitta glue it shut with the first aid kit from her car, ignoring her pleas to call Nanami and go to the hospital. The gash itself wasn’t a big deal. So, there is no point in calling Nanami on his day off. It could wait until Shoko was back at school.
A cursed spirit got too zealous and threw you against a metal gate. The impact had you seeing stars, but you quickly shook it off and finished your mission. The wound would be another addition to the scars you had gained over the years. A superficial cut was something your boyfriend did not need to worry about or get involved in. The only thing he needed to do was lose himself in his book.
Reading was precisely what he was doing as you stepped into the apartment. Nanami’s legs were propped up on the ottoman, his eyes roaming over the pages of the book he had eagerly awaited. The gentle smile on his face as he sipped tea was the only clarification you needed to know you had made the right choice and not bothering him.
“I’m home!” You announced, kicking your shoes off before collapsing on the couch beside him.
“Welcome back.” Nanami laid his book down on his chest, allowing him to kiss you gently. “How did the mission go?”
“Easy, I’m happy to be home.”
“I'm happy to have you home. I was pretty lonely and bored.”
“Lonely and bored? Is your book not that good? You’ve been so eager to read it for weeks.”
“Oh, it’s good, I missed—” his lips move, but a sharp ringing in your ears drowns him out. He notices the blank look as you try to pinpoint what he said. “Love?”
“Hmm?” Play it cool, play cool.
“I asked you a question.”
Well, playing it cool might not be as easy as you thought. “I’m sorry I’m a little out of it. What did you say, Ken?” The questioning look in his eyes lets you know he’s on to you. Damn him for being so perspective.
“I said I missed you and asked if you wanted to lie down on my lap while I read.”
“Oh! Sure, of course.”
You rest your head in Nanami’s lap, making sure your gash isn’t anywhere close to him. Your husband notices the awkward way you lie down, as if your head is tender to the touch, but he doesn’t say anything. He lifts his book while his free hand gently strokes the top of your head.
Each time he pulls his hand back, you stiffen in fear that he’ll graze over your wound. He doesn’t come close, though. Nanami focuses his strokes solely on the crown of your head. Usually, you would have called asleep and could fall asleep, and you would have if it weren't for the pulsing, pounding pressure that begins to build in your head. You choke back, pained groans, and whine, not wanting Nanami to know what’s going on.
The pressure continues to build, and nausea swirls in the pit of your stomach. Ringing in ears, headache, and nausea put the three together, along with a head wound, and you don’t even need a doctor to tell you what’s wrong. Most likely, you have a concussion, and it’s a bad one.
You should have listened to Nitta and went to the hospital. Getting checked out right now was probably a good idea, but how could you tell your boyfriend now? ‘Oh, my brain got scrambled by a cursed spirit and failed to mention it to you. Could you maybe take me to the hospital?’ Yeah, that was a conversation destined to end in an argument or lecture, both if you were lucky. If Shoko hurried up, you might have been able to sneak out to meet her at the school.
“Love.” Your husband whispers. “You’re trembling, and you keep wincing. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’m—” Nanami holds his hand out in front of your face. His palm is coated red with blood.
“You’ve already lied to me once, so do not do it again.”
“Ooh, I’m bleeding.” You try to sit up, but your body falls forward as dizziness overwhelms you. Nanami catches you, lifting you into his arms. “The blood is supposed to be inside of my body.”
You blink slowly as Kento rushes out of your apartment. There are blurred shapes and muffled voices as you’re treated in the hospital; you feel disoriented like you’re high. Your husband's hand holding yours is the one comforting sensation that grounds you.
His thumb rubs comforting circles over your knuckles. His deep, soothing voice talks to you, shushing your pained cries as the back of your head is stitched shut. And his smell engulfs you as you lay together in the hospital bed.
Once the room clears, you look towards your husband, who stares ahead with an unreadable expression. The instant he feels your eyes on him, his head jerks in your direction. That unreadable expression shifts into a look of anger and disappointment. You were royally fucked.
“Ten stitches.” An audible gulp sounds from you. “The doctor had to put ten stitches because your makeshift patch job failed.”
“It was only—”
“Stop talking, do not interrupt me.” Oh, he was pissed, and you felt like you were five inches tall as you snapped your mouth shut. “I called Nitta to find out she told you to call me, but you insisted on not bothering me on my day off. When have I ever in our entire relationship made you feel as though I’m not available on my days off?”
“You haven't.”
“Then tell me why you wouldn’t have called me.”
“I-I didn’t wanna be a bother. You work so hard you deserve to relax on your days off.”
Kento turns so he’s facing you, fingers gently holding your chin. “Just because I have a day off does not mean I am incapable of caring for my wife.” The anger that burned in his brown iris shifted to sadness and concern. “Do I make myself clear? We don’t hide stuff like injuries from each other.”
He had every right to be angry. If he had hidden the injury from you, you would’ve reacted the same way. Hiccups bubble in your chest as you softly cry. Nanami’s grip on your chin slides up to your cheek fingers, gently brushing away the falling tears.
“I'm sorry, Kento, I should’ve talked to you.” His lips kiss away the last lingering tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you for apologizing. Are you okay now? You're not in pain, are you?”
“No, I'm just drained.”
Nanami peered at the clock on the wall. “Go ahead and get some rest. I’ll wake you in about an hour to check on you.” His warm and gentle voice has you drifting to sleep.
“I love you, Kento.”
“I love you too, darling.”
Choso Kamo:
“Ew, do you think it’s broken? It shouldn’t look like that.” Nobara cringes as Megumi and Yuuji help ease you onto a bench.
“It’s just a sprain.”
“I don’t know, but it’s already swelling.” Megumi’s blue eyes lock on your ankle. “I might be broken.”
Yuuji is biting down on his knuckle, glancing between your ankle and face. “My brother is going to kill me.” You were going to kill the three of them if they didn’t give you some space to breathe.
“It’s not broken. I assure you of that, and Choso will not kill you.”
What had started as a typical training session had turned into a full-on brawl. One that ended with you getting kicked so hard you stumbled back ten yards just to roll your ankle. None of your students were at fault; if anyone was, you encouraged them to go at you with full strength.
“Look, just do me a favor, okay? Do not mention this to Gojo. The bastard will never let me live it down, and if you see Choso, don’t mention it to him either.”
“Should we just go grab Ieri for you?” Megumi glanced back at your ankle, which was already starting to bruise.
Oh, if only life were. “She has today off, and I refuse to bug her with some so Minuscule; I’ll be fine until tomorrow.” Skepticism painted the features of your students. “I’m fine. Go wash up. Class dismissed.” None of them moved like they were waiting to see if one of the three would fight you on your decision. There was hesitation in their features, so you mustered the best mom look you could.
One that terrified them more than a curse.
“Right, right! Later!” Yuuji was the first to take off, running down the path. Taking a second glance at you was all your other students needed to follow close behind him.
You sat there on the bench, looking up at the sky. All you needed was a few minutes to yourself before you attempted to head back. But those few minutes turned into an hour. Not because you got tired or lost track of time. No, it was because when you tried to get up, your ankle protested at the weight you put on it.
Maybe it wasn’t a minor sprain like you thought.
Regrets of your choices in the last hour lingered like cheap perfume. You had no phone, no students to help you, and there was no one to come to your rescue. Your only choices were to crawl back to the teacher dorms or wait for a soul to pass by. If no one stopped by, you would have to settle in for a long night
You were about to start crawling, praying Gojo didn’t walk by when a confused “Baby?” Called out from down the trail, drawing your attention in.
Choso was rushing forward, his hair bouncing with each step. “Hi, Cho!” You waved before patting the seat next to you.
“What are you doing here? Gojo said your training session with the kids ended over an hour ago.”
“Oh, I, uhm, just wanted to admire this beautiful day. Take a chance to smell the roses.”
Your boyfriend sat down next to you, his eyes moving to look up at the trees. The sunlight that shone through the branches and leaves caused the rays of sunlight to dance over his handsome face. Taking a deep breath, he shut his eyes and soaked in the sun's warmth.
At that moment, you forgot about the pain in your ankle. He looked so happy; the last thing you wanted to do was ruin his peaceful zen to have him worry about you.
Opening his eyes, he let out a soft sigh before his warm gaze met you. He looked at you like he had when admiring the towering trees above. Damn, your busted ankle; if the numbing pain weren’t so bad, you would’ve kissed him until neither of you could breathe.
“I see you’ve been here. It’s a perfect day.” Yeah, if only he knew the other reason you were sitting on the bench. “As beautiful as the view is, it is getting late. Do you want to head back? Yuuji invited us to go to the movies tonight.”
“Uhm, yeah.” Choso took your hand in his, helping you stand up. “Nngh.” You cry out behind your hand as the pain in your ankles shoots up your leg.
Choso’s warm gaze on you and an. “What’s wrong?” He studies your stance, noting how you put all your weight on your good ankle.
“N-Nothing, I’m just stiff.”
“Really?”
“Mhmm!”
“Okay then.” he pulls his hand away, causing your balance to falter. “Let’s go if you're fine.”
Sweat beads on your forehead, not from the warm day but from the pain. “Alright.” You try to come off as chipper, but your voice betrays you, cracking under the discomfort. “L-Let’s get going! Movies! Yay!” Choso crosses his arms over his chest as he watches you.
Taking one step forward feels like a sore is plunged into your foot. You grit your teeth before taking another step forward, the pain more intense this time, the singular sword suddenly multiplied by ten. Blinking away the tears in your eyes, you attempt to take another step forward, only to stumble.
You brace yourself for the impact that never comes. Choso’s arm is around your waist the second you stumble forward. He can feel your ragged breathing as he eases back onto the bench. His long fingers gently push up your leggings, revealing your swollen and discolored ankle. It seems as though sitting on the bench has made it worse. You knew better than to let it dangle. I.C.E., icing, compressing, and elevating was best for you to do with a sprained ankle. Instead, the swelling was out of control when this could’ve been avoided.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?” In your tear-filled gaze, Choso’s eyes are lingering on your face. “Is this the real reason you’ve been sitting here for so long?”
There was no sense in lying, not when you had been caught. “Yes, that’s why I’ve been sitting here. The kids offered to help me, but I was being stubborn.” The sigh that leaves Choso’s mouth is thick with disappointment. “I didn’t bring my phone, or I would have called you eventually.” Your boyfriend moves, turning so his back is facing you.
“Yet when I’m beside you, you still hide it.”
“I-I know, I’m sorry.” You wait for him to get up and leave you stranded on the bench. But instead, he looks over his shoulder at you.
“Well, come on,” he gestures to his back, “get on, we’ll go home, and we’ll take a look at it there,” You do as he says, climbing onto his back. “And up we go.” he stands, allowing you to bury your face into the crook of his neck. He gives you a piggyback ride across campus. Things remain relatively quiet until he sighs. “Baby, next time you get hurt, please tell me. That way, I can help you,” he glances at the corner of his eye. “I know you think you have to do things all on your own, but you don’t when I’m with you.”
Not even a second passed before you bit down gently on his cheek. “I promise I’ll tell you next time. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it earlier. I’m sort of embarrassed that I got taken down by my ankle. I’m a sorcerer, for god's sake.” You give his cheek another nibble, winning shy laughter from him.
“Don't eat me~ how will you get back to the dorm?”
“Crawl?” You suggest, resulting in Choso laughing harder.
“No crawling for my baby, I got you.” and you couldn't have been more content with that.
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe
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moonnightdew · 1 day
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🌀Jupiter in Gemini 🌀
Pick a card
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*FROM LEFT TO RIGHT*
Pile #1
Themes: travel; searching; dreams; fulfillment; chemistry; peace; stimulation; intuition; new
This will be a very explorative, but possibly overstimulating time. You will either be learning alot or searching for purpose, fun, things you’ve never seen & finding what works for you. You could travel just to find where you may bloom. You’ll be more silent, introverted & introspective, more inclined to think through your decisions and test the waters first. Maintain strength & patience if you’re feeling stuck. Your intuition or guidance from someone wise will help you during this time. I see travel by train, plan & simply just walking in nature or visiting local places in town. Go with what feels right. This would be a time to listen more than speaking.
Pile #2
Themes: Sex; sexuality; sensuality; center of attention; dark & taboo; seduction; liberation from trauma & criticism; blossoming; witch hunt; slut-shaming; misogyny
You will receive a lot of attention, which will also bring criticism ( especially if you’re a woman). It seems a lot of you will be tapping into your dark side, especially regarding your sexuality. You may start dressing more sexy, wearing more revealing clothes to compliment your body and have a very active sex life. Consuming more sexual or taboo based content or community is also indicated ( erotica, porn, fanfic, Rated R, adult entertainment, BDSM etc…) You might post more thirst traps or just simply express you sexiness, which will make some uncomfortable. This will be a time when you’re likely to be slut-shamed and others will try to dim your light. You’re likely to dive deep into forms of witchcraft as well. A healing and liberation from sexual, feminine, love or religious wounds could bring this about.
Pile #3
Themes: community; serving others; abundance; celebration; help from others; letting go and having fun; emotional fulfillment; meet new people; establishing yourself within a group
This will be a time when you make new friends, associates or professional connections. I get the vibe that you’ll attract people that will support & celebrate your achievements ( and vice versa). A very good time financial & emotionally, you’ll have more money to spend on self-care or treating yourself. This could be a time where you receive lots of gifts or free things. As you serve others through advice, just simply being there for them or through donations, those blessing with come back to you multiplied. Trust that you deserve this and show gratitude in any way you can. A lot of public events, gatherings, parties & volunteering
Pile #4
Themes: changes; comparison; love; friendships; dreams; potential; wanting more; taking risks; the outside vs the inside; external validation; recognition; purpose
You’ll be prone to compare yourself and life to others at this time. Maybe you feel life is going slow, maybe it’s moving to fast, but not in the way you wanted. There’s a need for external validation here. Maybe you wanna be told “you’re doing well”, maybe you wanna be called pretty or just simply understood and seen by someone. There’s a longing for love, affection and victory, and that’s okay. We all want to be accepted, love and celebrated. We all want what we feel we deserve. However, a lot of things we be out of your control. It seems fate is taking the wheel & you’re not sure if you’re emotionally ready for the path. Patience is needed, your time will come. For now, love yourself for who you are and where you are. Not everything is as it seems on the outside. The grass isn’t always greener. Significant relationships are on the way
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likedovesinthewindd · 8 hours
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sore loser — (a. donaldson/p. zweig)
summary: you're just trying to enjoy your lunch, but you can practically feel the two pairs of eyes on you | content/warning: reader also plays tennis, reader is kinda mean but not really.
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You absent-mindedly poked your fork into the leftover piece of lasagna as your head rested in your other hand. You had lost your appetite the minute you set foot off the court today, but you knew you needed to at least try and get something in your stomach. You had taken a few big bites until the frustration of losing set in.
You let out a defeated sigh, dropping your fork and raising your head from your palm, looking around the cafeteria. It was basically empty except for a few people here and there quietly eating. Your eyes caught sight of two boys sitting by the window table, their seats practically turned to your direction. When their eyes caught yours, they smiled. The one on the right lifted his hand in greeting, his blonde friend quickly following suit.
You gave them a wave, sparing a small smile before your eyes went back to your tray. You figured you weren't going to finish the food, so you quickly grabbed your backpack, throwing it over your shoulder before taking your tray to the bin. At first, you hadn't even noticed the two boys joining you, one on either side as they disposed of their trays as well.
You took a step back, watching as the two turned around, eyes set on you. You spared them another small smile out of kindness before readjusting your bag on your shoulder and making your way to your dorm. You were barely outside until you were stopped by someone shouting your name, turning around to find the same dark-haired boy, his friend soon following.
"We saw you play today," he said once you had stopped walking and they were close enough. "You're really good," the blonde added with a smile. You knew him; you've seen him play and remember your roommate gushing over how cute he was. He was cute. They both were, you thought now that you got a good look at them.
"I lost," you retorted, reminded of the reason for your foul mood a while ago. "Doesn't mean you're not good." You looked up at the boy with the dark hair, trying to see if he was just trying to be funny. He had a small smirk playing on his face, his eyes darting down to your mouth before they met your eyes again.
"Thank you," you said, sparing both of them a look before focusing your eyes back on the dark-haired one. "Do you go here?" you asked. "Uh, no," he said, smile faltering for a split second before pointing his thumb back at his friend, "but he does."
"I know," you smiled, "I've watched a few of his games." Art couldn't help but smile at that, a bashful look on his face. "I'm Patrick, by the way," the other boy said, causing your eyes to shift back to him. You shook his hand. "Do you play, Patrick?" you asked. He nodded, and you nodded along absent-mindedly before sucking air through your teeth. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Patrick. And nice seeing you, Art," you said before adjusting your bag's strap again.
"Are you going to tonight's party?" Art asked and you turned around once again. "Would you like me to go?" you asked. "I'd like to see you again," he replied. "We both would," Patrick added. "You both wanna see me?" you asked as they nodded in unison. You laughed at that, your lips pursing in thought. "Okay, I'll be there," you said before making your way back to your dorm.
✰ ⊹ ˚.
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idontplaytrack · 2 days
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Omg can I request super possessive/jealous Capri? Where someone hits on reader and maybe tries to get reader to exchange numbers and Capri sees this and gets jealous
Baby, I’m Jealous
Capri Donahue x fem! reader
Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst? coarse language, mentions of sex and hickeys
In which, Capri thinks reader is flirting with a guy, but she soon finds out that was far from the truth.
The first bell thrills, signalling home room period was up soon. Capri stared daggers into his soul— Lucas Cobb, senior. Lacrosse player. 6 foot, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, player. That asshole has a reputation of fucking a new girl every weekend.
Slamming her locker shut, the sharp noise startled a couple of students near her. Shrugging, a sheepish smile on her face while she walks up to Lucas who was at your locker. Looking at you, talking to you, flirting with you. What were you doing? Giving him what he wanted and giving Capri insane jealousy.
“I was wondering…what’re you doing Friday night?” He asks right as Capri showed up next to you and him.
“Uh, nothing, but—”
“Nothing? Awesome, you wanna go out? Just the two of us?”
You froze, bewildered look on your face as he proceeded to ask for your number so he could text you.
You chuckled awkwardly, eyes flicking over to Capri, hoping she would get the hint and step in. “She’s with me.” Capri wraps an arm around your waist tightly. You completely indulged in that moment, snuggling closer and putting your arm around her torso. “Don’t look so shocked, she may be quiet. But she’s gorgeous. And also my girl, so your loss. Deal with it before I deal with you.”
“She’s gay?”
“Yes, I am.” You answered firmly.
“You too?” He looks at Capri next.
“What, does gay have a certain look?” Capri scoffs, “The whole school knows what a scumbag you are— sleeping with a new girl every week, so you have no excuses hitting on someone who you know is obviously taken. Those that sleep with you are just as dumb as you are because they know you and are just looking for a fuck-buddy.”
“The girls love me.”
“Sure.” Capri rolled her eyes, smirking, “Definitely not these two, though. Piss off!”
Capri leads you away, arm still around your waist protectively. You leaned onto her briefly before you two walked off. Capri walks you to your class on her way to hers.
“I’ll see you in bio, okay?” She presses a quick kiss to your lips, “You’re alright?”
“I’m okay.” You nodded in confirmation, “See you in bio.”
Capri flashes you a smile, looking over her shoulder as she leaves. You found your usual desk and sat down. “Hey.” Darby taps on your shoulder and waves. “Hi, Darby.” You beamed.
“Are you okay? I saw what happened in the hall with the guy. I mean, Capri was with you, but still.”
“I’m fine, he just flirted and tried to ask me out. I mean, we all know how he is—”
“Yeah, you don’t have to say it.”
————
Your day went by okay, though Lucas still kept looking at you— disgustingly, whenever you passed by him in the halls or a classroom he was in. You didn’t look at him at all but yet, you could still feel his eyes on you like a hawk. You fought the urge to outwardly cringe— every single time. It was sickening. The way he was watching you like you were an object, and though he never did come up to you again after Capri’s warning, you weren’t feeling that much better about this behaviour of his.
But hey, you actually thought wrong. Right as the lunch bell rang, students all hurried to the cafeteria, leaving the hallways empty. Your teacher wanted to talk to you about tutoring a student in your class— it was James. Capri’s ex. But he was fine, he was a good guy. So anyway, once your teacher let you go, James walked with you and just chatted. And if it weren’t for him being there, whatever came for you next would’ve left you traumatised for life. Lucas came up to you out of nowhere and tried to pull you away into the janitor’s closet and judging by the shit he was muttering over and over, he wanted to have his way with you. He managed to grab your wrist so hard and choked you that you got bruised.
James easily fought him off, and you ran as fast as your jelly legs could take you. “Hey, fuck off dude. I’m very sure she’s told you she wasn’t interested.”
“All she confirmed was that she was gay.” Lucas scoffed.
“Yeah, with her girlfriend standing right next to her and telling you to piss off. The whole school saw it, you’re messing with the wrong person, Lucas. Back off and let them be, screw yourself instead. Capri will destroy you completely of you keep this up. I won’t hesitate to hit you if you ever lay your hands on either of them again.”
James caught up with you quickly. You didn’t run too far with your legs feeling like they could give away at any moment. “Do you need to see the nurse?” He asks.
“No, I just- want to have my lunch and maybe ditch.” You told him flatly.
“Alright.” He shrugs.
“You can join us, you know?”
After his breakup with Capri last year, he’s been a lone wolf. He had a couple close friends but said he always felt left out with them. But your invite wasn’t one out of pity. You knew that he and Capri ended things on good terms and he’s been a good acquaintance, now maybe you wanted to get to know him as a friend.
“If you guys are all okay with it, sure then.”
You spotted Capri at a round table with Darby and Alex, chatting away. “Hey, guys.” You greeted, “Can he join us?”
“James!” Darby waved at him, “Hi.”
“Hi, man.” Alex chimed in.
“Not a problem.” Capri smiled, “Hey. Oh, my God— did he—”
“Yes, but James was there— he fought Lucas off. If Ms. Tanner didn’t want to talk to me about tutoring James, and I’d left the class on time, he would have absolutely ruined my life.”
“What—”
“Just think about the worst thing that could happen while a girl’s with a guy like Lucas, alone.” You cut Darby off.
“Oh, shit.”
“I got off easy.” You scoffed, putting down your bag, you headed for the lunch line to get your food.
Once you got your food, you started to eat while quietly telling Capri you wanted the ditch school for the rest of the day. “It’s just too much, y’know with Lucas’ ‘attention’. I’m seeing him again in gym right after lunch and that is the last thing I want.”
“I think you should go home.” Darby and Alex agree.
“Yeah, I was gonna do just that even if you said no.” You laughed lightly.
“I’ll take you home.” Capri says. You declined. “It’s not an offer.” Capri continues, her brows raised, “I’m saying I’ll take you.”
You gulped. “Okay. You’ll take me.”
She smirks, then returned to eating her lunch. Darby snorted, laughing her ass off. “Good luck when you get home, hun.”
Though the guys got what she meant, they didn’t say anything, as if it was the most normal thing ever. Well, after knowing Capri awhile, it started to become the norm— her very non-subtle way of letting you know what she wanted. Part of it was because of her jealousy. She gets jealous very easy, sometimes when there was not exactly a reason to— and how does that usually work out for you? The girl would mark the fuck outta you and you’d just show up at school the next day with the hickeys you’ve tried so hard to cover up. One or two still vaguely visible no matter what.
Today was no exception. Capri didn’t go easy on you that afternoon, she never did. She’d always fuck you senseless then baby you afterwards. Did you like that? Absolutely. Would you ever outwardly tell her you did? Hell no, you weren’t gonna give her that satisfaction.
Falling flat onto her and breathless, you feel Capri reach downwards to pull the strap out of you while telling you to lift your hips. You could barely do it, but damn did it feel absolutely heavenly. She rolls you onto your back so that she could remove the harness. You whined, wanting her to hold you. Capri only smirks while taking her sweet time removing the harness from herself. You hear it fall to the ground with a thud before feeling a dip in the mattress. She puts her arm under your back and just pulls you in so you were facing her. Brushing the hair out of your face, she asks, “That’ll teach you not to talk to anyone else who tries to flirt with you, hm?” With your eyes partially closed, you nodded, snuggling against her chest tiredly. “Good.” She smiled proudly, wrapping her arms around you tighter. “I’m still not done with you, actually, pretty girl.”
“What?” You slurred.
“We’re going for a round two tonight. I wanna see just how much you can take.” Capri told you eagerly. You scoff, but you already feel that ache in between your thighs, cursing in your head, you closed your eyes and just got some rest now since she was letting you.
“M’kay.” She answered, voiced muffled since your face was practically buried in her breasts.
She laughs huskily, sending a chill down your spine, “I get it, baby. You love my tits. Always getting close to them whenever you get the chance, hm? Maybe I should finally let you touch them when I fuck you later. You want that?”
You mumbled incoherently, sleepiness completely taking over your body.
“Well, do you?” She asks, not letting you drift off to sleep until you gave her a clear answer.
“Yeah.” You managed, then yawned.
“Okay, get some rest, sleepyhead.” She teased, planting a kiss to the crown of your head.
————
🏷️ Tag list:
@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128
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yongseungkim · 2 months
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#think my feelings'll have to come to an end soon#but idk why im so reluctant to do so..what im still holding on to..#idk man#we are friends!! real good ones at that#and a year ago i never would have imagined!!#but ithink to me its clear from her end that it was never anything more than that for her#even if sometimes for me i hoped and hoped#cant seem to let go of that hope completely#even though im thankful in so many ways like#i cant seem to convince myself right now this is enough#im like#being mentally not ill is so hard too cuz#i want to be like 'oh ofc it makes sense shes not interested in me who would be'#and its so easy to think that#and have that be the calming thought that shuts down delusion#its so much harder for me to say shes not into u but thats okay there might be someone else in the future#what that implies i have absolutely no fucking idea#i dont wanna do dating apps yall like#everything abt it feels so unappealing#i actually genuinely wanna go down the friends to lovers route but god is it so painful.#and seeing how successful ive been in making friends thus far uhh...#finding someone else to kinda even start being attached to that isnt her in a non platonic sense is hard#like w her the feelings too are just very deep#there are casual crush moments here and there for sure i think but nothing thats quite felt like this#and it kinda sucks lol#how are you supposed to find someone#i also wanna. be okay with. not finding someone#and god for the longest time in my life i was okay with that but now im not and its so unfamiliar and idk how to reconcile it#honestly i wanna be someones go to person#but no one wants to be that for me i think so ive been trying to become that person for myself but
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tswwwit · 1 year
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Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.
Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.
Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?
(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)
These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.
#Answers#Okay but for full transparency#I never really figured out what the 'cheating' consequence is#It's a nebulous concept since I've never had to write it happening#And left ambiguous because neither of these two are into anyone else - and as a writer I like to leave my options open!#I would assume that one of the few things they agreed on when making the contract was that unwelcome advances didn't count as cheating#But that the villain in question would get what was coming to them. Very Violently. They wanna step on a landmine? Let 'em have it#Dipper would have made a frowny face at the violence but agreed. Privately thinking well that's actually a *bonus*#A built-in defense system of sorts#(Something Bill was also thinking but absolutely phrased in the possessive aspect)#Whether or not the Consequences kick in before they meet again - their equivalent of their vow renewal - is up for grabs#Dipper trying to fend off someone only to have them burst into flames and/or blood would feel a terrified sense of relief#Who knows! Maybe Dipper has protection but has a chance for other actions before they meet again!#But the odds of that occurring are very slim. Partly due to his general awkwardness#And distinct hesitation on Dipper's part. Even though he *thinks* he should be enthusiastic#He looks at the person he's in bed with and just. It feels weird. Maybe because he hasn't (in his memory) done this before#Great job Dipper!! Someone in your bed and the best you can do is kinda grimace. Real sexy.#If he does ever manage to get up to something it's not even a tenth of the time he has with his husband#Dipper reincarnations are all very unfortunately attracted as hell to Bill Cipher and they're deeply alarmed by it#I do like the idea of different parental groups finding Dipper's birthmark and having different reactions#Perhaps a random incarnation of one of his family members ends up in charge of him one time#The results would vary *wildly* depending on who it was#On a scale of Mabel Mom to Ford Uncle how are you preparing this person for his invitable enhusbanding#(Stan remains pretty much the same but has a lot of bad marriage advice)#Wow that's a lot of tags even for me#I am going to queue this and sleep
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rapidhighway · 9 months
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not a fan of dadow but shit man it does kinda make sense sometimes idk
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milogoestogreendale · 3 months
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THIS VIDEO?!
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queermycelium · 7 months
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Cringetober day 17 - Anime Screenshot
I know I haven't posted most of these on here, might correct that by the end. But this one I am way too proud of NOT to show here.
I have always been Normal about Digimon, Wizardmon, and Season 1 Episode 34 The Eight Child Revealed. There is no evidence to the contrary. You cannot prove otherwise.
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gentil-minou · 8 months
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sharing my wangxian phlebotomist!wwx/blood donor!lwj au from twitter here (a summary here if you wanna see)
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The hardest part of the adoption process was supposed to be endless paperwork and screenings and the anxiety of not being good enough to meet high standards of the court.
It wasn't supposed to be A-Yuan's first doctors appointment.
His pitiful screams fill the small doctor's office. He's clinging to Lan Wangji's shoulders like there a lifeline, hiding and all LWJ wants to do is bundle up his son and carry him back to safety.
But these are mandatory vaccines he needs in order to attend pre-k. So he cant.
Nurse: Shots are never fun at this age, huh He would beg to differ; they're never fun at any age But see lwj isnt afraid of the shots themselves. Hes terrified of the sight of blood. His BFF loves horror movies & he watches them with her bravely by staring at the corner of the tv
When lwj gets his blood drawn, he looks closes his eyes and imagines being in a cold pond somewhere. But he's never been afraid of just the shot before.
He's helpless in the face of his son's distress. The nurse sighs, saying theyll have to try again another day.
A-Yuan sniffles into his baba's shirt, exhausted from the crying fit. His eyes are still watery and he looks around the room with such fear in his eyes, before withdrawing back into the safety of his baba's chest.
Lan Wangji has no idea what to do, only cradles him closer
Thankfully, LWJ has someone who can help. His best friend, Jiang Yanli is a child therapist and has been helping him prepare his home for A-Yuan.
If anyone knows what to do, it's Yanli-jie
JYL: Zhanzhan, have you tried showing him its not scary?
LWJ has not, bc he's terrified
JYL is the only one allowed to call him Zhanzhan. In Uni she was the one who mentored him his first week of school. Someone slipped him alcohol and he got deliriously drunk.
Yanli-jie was the one who found him and took him home. This is what they told the cohort but actually…
JYL: seeing his Baba get a shot and be okay might motivate him to be more brave
LWJ certainly doesn't feel brave. He's thinking of the blood flowing from his veins and then LEAVING them to go who knows where. It sounds barbaric
He has the distinct memory of learning what a period is in middle school and promptly passing out
He is not a fan of anything related to blood
But LWJ has learned that Yanli-jie knows what she's doing, so, despite the way he can swear he feels his blood pumping with fear, he agrees...but there's a problem.
LWJ: I am up to date on all my shots. How can I show him it is safe?
JYL: Hmm....I have an idea. My brother is a phlebotomist! He can help.
LWJ is confused. Last he heard, the younger Jiang is a prosecutor who makes a living viciously yelling in a courtroom.
JYL: Not him, Zhanzhan. My adoptive brother, A-Xian. I bet he would be happy to help you. He works at the blood bank at Yiling Clinic! The perfect exposure!
For who?, LWJ wonders. A blood bank sounds like a house of horrors to him. And a person who chooses to stick a needle in people and remove the very force that gives them life? He cannot imagine getting along with this person at all.
--
Yiling Clinic is a community clinic in a part of town Lan Wangji has never been to, especially since the Gusu Group has their own private hospital.
But this is where Yanli-jie's phlebotomist little brother works.
A-Yuan clings to the back of his legs as they approach the receptionist, a young man with amazing cat eye makeup named Mo Xuanyu
These two definitely do not fit the bill for their usual patients, with their designer clothing, so he asks with some skepticism: Um, can I help you?
LWJ has spent the last two hours siking himself up for the blood part, he isn't prepared at all for social interactions. He flounders like a fish.
LWJ: …I am…We are here for…
A shout comes from behind them: Ah! A-Yu, is that A-jie's friend? Zhanzhan?
LWJ flinches until he sees a man sprinting towards them. The 1st thing he notices is this man is wearing lilac scrubs with little white rabbits on them.
The 2nd thing he notices is this man has the most enchanting smile he's ever seen. Already, LWJ feels more relaxed.
The man winks at him: You like the scrubs? A-jie said A-Yuan liked bunnies, I figured this would help keep him calm.
LWJ does not blurt I like bunnies too. But only just.
Beside the man is a pediatric nurse named Wen Ning, no relation, who says he's here to help with A-Yuan
Yanli-jie's little brother, the phlebotomist, introduces himself: Ah! Sorry, Lan Zhan. Jiejie always calls you that so it just stuck. I'm Wei Wuxian. You can call me Wei Ying if you wanna make it even.
Strangely, LWJ feels no need to correct him: Lan Zhan is fine, Wei Ying.
WWX smiles so brightly, LWJ feels dizzy with it.
WWX: Now where's the little bunny himself?
A-Yuan has been clinging behind LWJ's pant leg, tilting around just enough to peek with one eye at this strange gege.
WWX: Maybe not a rabbit then, a radish who likes to hide away!
A-Yuan becomes offended: I don't like radishes!
WWX laughs: Me neither! But Qing-jie says they help us grow big and strong, so they can't be all that bad huh?
WWX is crouched in front of A-Yuan, draping both arms across his knees and resting his chin in one hand. He waits.
LWJ admires his patience. The longer WWX waits, crouched and rocking back and forth in front of A-Yuan, smile gently and welcoming, the more A-Yuan's natural curiosity gets the better of him.
Eventually, his son comes out from behind his leg to touch a black bunny on his sleeve
A-Yuan: I like this one. We only have a white bunny at home.
WWX: I like the black bunny too! What's your bunny's name?
A-Yuan: Banana, bc she tries to eat Baba's banana every morning, and you are what you eat.
He recites this with all the solemnity a 4 yo could possess
WWX's laughter echoes through the lobby: Well! You're very right, A-Yuan. Maybe you aren't a radish after all then. Tell me, what do little boys eat?
A-Yuan: I'm not little! I'm 4 and a half!
WWX: Right, right, I sincerely apologize for my mistake. What do big boys eat then?
A-Yuan purses his lips and taps his chin, pondering his question carefully: Hmm… jelly beans?
WWX looks like he wants to laugh more, but instead says: I see, I see. Thank you for your wisdom A-Yuan.
He looks up at LWJ, dark eyes dancing. LWJ's heart rabbits against his chest
WWX: If your baba is ready, we can head down to my cave if you'd like. I have a lot of cool machines I'd love to show you.
A-Yuan's eyes widen into saucers as he gasps: A cave? Wowww
They grin conspiratorially at each other, before turning bright eyes up at LWJ
LWJ feels warm and much more relaxed inside, so he nods: Mn. We may go.
A-Yuan cheers and holds WWX's hand as the head downstairs.
LWJ trails behind making small talk with WN, watching WWX and A-Yuan swing their hands and skip ahead, feeling something warm blossom in his chest.
The hallway to Wei Wuxian's lab isn't anything like Lan Wangji expects.
The rooms at Gusu are all perfectly pristine and sterile, painted white to promote serenity, rest, and healing.
For one thing, he'd raided a Halloween store at some point and hung up all sorts of decorations, mostly vampire themed. There's one that's says "I vant to suck your blood!" except suck is crossed out and replaced with "donate". Wwx and A-yuan giggle together at wwx's fake accent
It's definitely not up to Gusu General's strict standards. For one thing, there're beanbag chairs in the hall outside. Wwx says it's to feel more comfy while others wait, as he's the only phlebotomist on staff and it can take a while. A-Yuan personally tests each one.
His lab is…adequate if far too small. There's a desk that's overrun with stacks of papers and textbooks and a shelf that's filled with even more. The actual space where blood is drawn is, thankfully, sterile and clean. Though he's decorated with demons demanding blood for food
There's a temp controlled room where the blood is stored, with a red door and the words "Blood Pool" written in menacing barely legible font
Despite the…interesting decor, the room is homely and, surprisingly, welcoming. A-Yuan at least is having a very fun time getting a tour
Wwx patiently answers all of A-Yuan’s questions, even the endless why's, with utmost sincerity, even when his answers are purely nonsense.
Lwj can't stop the fond smile from lifting the corner of his lips. A-Yuan had never warmed up to a medical professional so fast.
He's pulled from his musings when A-Yuan grabs his sleeve: Baba! Blood-gege says this machine makes blood spin around!
Wwx burst out laughing: Blood-gege? I love it!
Lwj is enchanted, head repeating those last 3 words again and again as wwx fondly ruffles A-Yuan's fluffy hair
Wwx: alright, now that you're familiar with my beauty Chenqing (referring to his bloody spinny machine lwj does not want to think about), shall we get down to business?
He says this with his bright dark eyes glittering at LWJ. Right. The blood donating part.
Lwj gulps, nodding. A prisoner walking up to the gallows.
TBC
(If you're interested, I'm probably going to continue at least up to the end of the first part before i just make it into one long fic! You can follow it on my twitter!)
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boyywithluv · 19 days
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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supercantaloupe · 10 months
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truly detest how pcos tags/forums/etc are absolutely crawling with terfs
#(okay to rb but stay in your lane)#maybe i just want to look and see if anyone else has experienced what i went through today without seeing someone going like#'you'll never be a REAL woman because you DON'T HAVE OVARIES#and will NEVER understand the TRUE WOMANLY EXPERIENCE of having A VERY DISRUPTIVE AND COMPLEX ENDOCRINE AND METABOLIC DISORDER'#like i think there are more important (read: actual) targets to direct our frustration at here than#[checks notes] getting mad at a trans woman for saying she relates to some of the problems caused/faced by having pcos#like. idk. the fucking medical system and lack of research/treatment options#(also. christ. reducing every person w pcos into the 'woman' category automatically bc 'ovary'.#even though it's literally an intersex condition. yikes.)#also i don't know about y'all but i don't wish this on anyone? regardless of gender??#i actually don't want trans women to have to experience this in order to be considered a True Woman#because i don't want ANYBODY to have to experience this. it sucks! it's not fucking fun!#i just wanted to try and see if other people have gone through the same thing i have. not expand my blocklist by half a mile tonight.#i wanna talk about me#even though i didn't exactly find what i was looking for (😔) and i had to play fucking whack-a-terf while searching#if there's any bright side to be found it's the number of posts/people affirming pcos as an intersex condition/identity#i saw someone say 'if you don't want the [intersex] umbrella for yourself you don't have to take it#but it's nice to have in the closet for a rainy day'#and. man. yeah.
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sillybouquetoflillies · 3 months
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i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out
#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk#i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting#but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it#so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life#wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around#so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length#how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg#ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most#i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway#i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!!#i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well#i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately#I DUNNO#i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out#i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems#n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me#i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want#while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰#i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts#i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!!#its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there#i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl#i just dont know what yet#concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent#ok i think this ramble is ovr#im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!
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saeshiraw · 9 months
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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comfortstars · 5 months
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hmmm
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elegyofthemoon · 1 year
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(shows up a month or so later) ✨
i shouldnt have been surprised that kagetsu won the poll ALSKDJF as soon as i saw the first votes i was like "ohhh no"
so ANYWAYS kagetsu !! and a few other doots ive done of him i wanted to show :)
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