#i always thought i was someone who just didnt want things. no dreams no ambitions indifferent about having a career or a family or a goal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mirrorforevers · 3 years

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here, there, and everywhere • graham coxon/reader

this fic is based on two prompts y'all sent me:

and

this fic really tested all of my blur knowledge holy Fuck. blur as talking heads au i guess. how cool would it be if they

1. had a girl bassist instead of the cheese tory dude

2. werent as unhappy as they were in the mid 90s (just a bit)

3. were just a little 🤏🏻 bit more female friendly lets just pretend this is a universe where the blurjob passes didnt exist heh

it took me everything i had to make this sound as realistic as it could be. u know these girls who think they could fix patrick bateman or don draper? perhaps y’all could fix blur

consider this a gift n not only me writing for your prompt, @nottuned! thank u so much for all your support n encouragement n for always bein so sweet 🥺 i hope u enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

let’s see how many references to unfortunate britpop moments y’all can find in this

also i hope i captured the silliness of the gossip and drama in that era well. if you enjoyed it, please leave an ask telling me more! ur feedback is rly important to me 😔✊🏻

tw (?) reader has shitty parents

word count: 7.938 (this one's quite long!)

smut. set in the 90s. au.

You were unlocking your door when you heard your house phone ring. The shrill sound echoed through the empty corridors as you hurriedly unwrapped your scarf, tossing your keys and backpack on nearby furniture as you ran to answer the call.

“Hello?” You answer, panting.

“Y/N?”

“Dave?” You smile, that call was a very welcome surprise. Your friend owed you an answer.

A few weeks ago, Dave Rowntree, your music classmate who became a close friend, told you that he had teamed up with two other proficient musicians to form a band. Dave was ecstatic, and every day he had new stories about his new friends to tell you between breakfasts and lunches that you shared between the countless hours of rehearsals. Even though you weren't part of the group, you already felt that you knew Damon and Graham like the back of your hand. Yin and Yang. One was expansive, ambitious, vain, impulsive. The other, shy, introspective, anxious and careful.

Damon Albarn wanted to be an actor, Graham Coxon had a firm foot in the visual arts. One was a fan of grand classical compositions, the other was a Beatles fan. They had been friends since they were children, in a seemingly unbreakable bond. Damon dropped out of his theater class not only because out of a sudden he had found a bigger calling in music instead of acting, but also because he couldn't stand being away from his best friend for so long. You found yourself often imagining their faces and voices while trying to make all of the wild and endearingly funny stories Dave told you more tangible in your head.

It was not long before Dave started dropping little hints that they needed someone else for their project. “It’s not that Graham isn’t good at bass,” he’d say, “but we could do better.” It wasn't at the top of your plans to be part of a band right now, especially as you were preparing intensely to join the Royal Academy of Music, and he knew it. When you mentioned the conversations you had with Dave about the boys on your family dinner, in quiet wonder and timid want of being part of something really exciting, your parents wrinkled their noses. Focus on the greater things, they’d say. Don’t let these boys distract you from your goal.

Our goal, they meant to say. Since you were born, you never knew if the things you wanted were really your will or theirs.

But anyway.

That dynamic went on for a while, until the day Dave invited you to audition for them while you shared a Diet Coke in the tube home.

“Will it take too much of my time?” You asked, coyly.

“Bold of you to assume we’ll let you in that quickly.” He chuckles, amused by your confidence. You playfully elbow him in return. He knew how good you were at what you did, though, and there’s lightness in his tone when he continues, “But no, unless you let it. You’ll probably have to stand up to Damon every once in a while.” He sips the drink, handing it over to you.

“What about Graham? How much is he determined to make it big?”

“Damon’s the one who wants it the most. Graham’s studying Fine Arts at Goldsmiths, so. There’s still cautiousness in him.”

“Huh. Okay then.” You reply, thoughts running wild. “Do we have a time and date?”

“Is tomorrow ok to you?”

“Sure. After our class?”

“Perfect.” The train reaches his station. He ruffles your hair: “See you tomorrow then.”

“See you.”

You don’t tell anything about it to your parents, you just warn them that you’ll arrive a bit later than usual. Dave’s intel was crucial to your choice of songs: knowing Graham was the beatlemaniac and also the rational brake to Damon’s tireless ambition, you knew who to please and have as an ally, so you build an innovative and fresh mashup of Paul McCartney’s greatest basslines to play for them. Of course it could backfire, but you didn’t care. You had a hell of a good ear anyway and if Damon wanted you to play anything out of the blue, you would improvise beautifully over it.

The day comes. You didn’t know why you were that nervous for an amateur audition. You weren’t even sure if it was the right path to follow, given that, depending on how focused Damon really was and how contagious his aspiration was, being part of a band could really take you out of your predestinated course. The reason why you were so nervous, now thinking a little more about it, may be because deep inside, you want your path to be a little less predictable. You didn’t want to fill your heart with hopes that you might make it big and travel all over the world because you didn’t even know them. But… what if it clicks? You knew some people in the scene whose work was getting seriously recognized out there.

Meeting them for the first time was an enigmatic experience. Damon was incredibly brash and cocky - not the first theater kid you’ve met in your life. Graham was way more approachable, though also a bit conceited when pushed just right. You wondered if you’d fit in that boys’ club, and decided you wouldn’t be an easy target for discredit or any kind of shit they might give you. “Took me a while to fully get their trust. You’ll do just fine”, Dave said, out of their earshot.

That gave you more fuel to play amazingly well. Damon definitely wasn’t one to be impressed quickly, but he was, when you finished your set. So was Graham - Graham was starry eyed with your performance, actually. Albarn showed you a song and asked you if you could improvise to it, just as you imagined. Of course you could, on the first play. You even suggested some adjustments to its structure. Your feedback was welcomed and noted.

Even though everything went surprisingly well, you still weren't sure if you would be a member of “Seymour”, as they called themselves. (You knew it wasn’t the best name, but you didn’t have a better suggestion at the time so you’ve kept your opinion to yourself.) Graham became eerily quiet out of a sudden and wouldn’t cross eyes with you the entire time you were there. Damon, well, was Damon. Perhaps he thought you were too ordinary and mainstream for deciding to play Beatles when he’s trying to be the new avant-garde Jesus.

But Dave's news was different than you expected. “They really, really enjoyed your audition. As I thought they would.” You can hear the smile in his voice. "When can you rehearse with us?"

Months after, on your first gig as a fully formed and integrated band, Damon was hit in the face by a guy twice his size, Graham vomited onstage and you and Dave had to take care of both. A beautiful way to close the already exquisite day you had, after you fought with your parents, got kicked out of your childhood home and gave up on entering the Royal Academy of Music two days after you received your acceptance letter featuring rave reviews of your entrance exam.

Dealing with these boys - no, grown-ass men - was hard, but not completely unpleasant. If it were totally unpleasant, you wouldn’t give up on your entire life to embark on such an adventure.

You - plural you - were so gifted and Damon’s compositions were so good. You could see that artsy pretentious mess of an act going somewhere. Of course, you were a bit lost in your life, but so were they, as you ran from city to city meeting new people and trying new things in your journey to fame.

Loneliness, once a close friend, became a distant acquaintance. One you didn’t know anymore.

You confess you were getting worried, though, with how much money you had left on your savings and how much you were spending lately now that your parents weren’t an active part of your life. Wanting to eat something you cannot dream of buying without that money being really useful in a much more critical situation, not having nearly enough money to replace something important that broke or got torn off was frustrating. Some basic things became luxuries out of a sudden.

One day in particular, you very briefly mentioned that you were dying to eat a slice of chocolate cake, but your voice was so small and everyone was so immersed in their duties you thought no one gave two shits to what you said. Two days later, Graham arrived late at rehearsal with a small chocolate cake in his hands, handing it over to you like it was a completely ordinary act. Nothing in the way he acted told you he expected a reward, it was so natural and… gentle. You knew no one in your band could buy a chocolate cake without it being apocalyptic to their personal finances during that time.

That day, you were assured by fate that feeling lost together was better than feeling guided alone.

The band finally got on track - strictly musically speaking. Personally speaking, many contemporaries who followed you at parties and other events described you as an ever-growing odd, annoying and intermittently disarming bunch - and Blur and its members became household names, at least in the UK. It became harder and harder everyday to impose yourself as an entire industry and its target public aimed to tear you down. Men couldn’t understand.

(Graham Coxon was the one who tried the hardest to.)

It was four in the morning. You’ve got used to following your bandmates to hospitals, running away from trouble or knowing when to relish in it. But it was the first time you offered yourself to clean up dried blood from one’s face, given how much you hated seeing the fluid and even fainted when younger whenever exposed to it.

You, so delicately, wipe the saline solution-soaked cotton across Graham’s face, who flinches at the cold sensation on his still sensitive skin. He stares at you with the eyes of a child, and you couldn’t help but give him a slight, warm smile in return, which he retributes. Your face conveyed gratitude and affection towards the one you were taking care of. Your hands still struggled to stay completely still after the surge of adrenaline your body received a few hours ago.

Being the only girl in a massive band, and one the music magazines and mainstream media loved sexualizing, meant having paparazzis in your window in odd hours (not that that’s acceptable in any hour, but you had to lower your standards even more these days), meant having different photographers trying to pressure you to get into all kinds of uncomfortable angles with skimpy-ass dresses and just count on the intervention of your fellow bandmates so they would stop, also having invasive male fans who would try to harass you in any way they could.

Of course the day where one of your bandmates would get into a fist fight with one of these men inserted into these categories would come. And even though they were all protective of you, each in their own peculiar, increasingly contradictory way, Graham’s dedication to it was sometimes commendable.

You were making your way through a small corridor of people on your way to the stage when a random guy cupped one of your breasts. It’s not like the venue was incredibly tight, it could not have been on accident and it made your blood boil. You turned around to scream at him, and Graham, who was just behind you, threw a punch directly towards the man’s face, without thinking twice.

And oh boy, took a lot of people and a sweet amount of time to separate the two after that.

After all was said and done, Graham had a few scratches, a black eye and a cut brow. He kept dodging your many “sorrys”, “you didn’t have to do this” and other expressions of guilt. “You have nothing to be sorry about, he deserved it”, he kept assuring you, like a mantra, just giving in to your pleas when you supplicated to take care of his wounds during intermission and after the show.

“I get why you did what you did, Gra. I hate that you took such a risk because of me, but I understand.” you say, voice cracking from not using it for a while after spending some good minutes in complete silence taking care of him. “However,” you soak another cotton ball in the saline solution a roadie got you, punctuating the word with a squeeze to the cotton to remove excess liquid. “I was worried sick about you. What if he… had a knife or something? You could’ve got seriously injured. Or killed.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m perfectly able to have a good fight,” after wincing from the contact of the cold wet cotton with his dried blood, he purses his lips in a forced, shy smile, trying to light up the mood. He notices your hands are still shaking from the adrenaline, and takes one of them in his bigger ones, trying to calm you down. The fact that he did this for you, coupled with the fear and how tired you felt of having to go through that kind of situation once again, made you cry-laugh from how overwhelmed you felt.

His expression changes to one of pure compassion in an instant. “Hey, don’t--oh my,” he gets up from his chair to embrace you as you pour your frustrations through fat tears running down his shoulder.

“It’s so exhausting,” you mumble, through sobs. “Now I’m putting you in danger too. I feel like I did and I’m still doing everything wrong. I should be the one giving you a shoulder to cry on.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong! Anything at all, I promise you,” he says, tenderly, running his hands through your hair, still holding you tight. “It was his fault! I decided it was the right thing to do. You’re worth the risk. What people have been putting you through is unacceptable.”

“I’m not worth the risk!” You break apart from his arms, trying to get your point across. “What would I do without you if someone killed you? You need to be more careful!”

The silence hangs heavy between you two thanks to the weight of your words.

“You should’ve asked me before you lunged at him, at least. I don’t know.” You wipe your many tears as you move towards the nearest bottle of water to try to calm yourself down. “It’ll never end. I’m so afraid that these situations will get even worse. That,” you motion at his wounds and dirty clothes, “is a bloody tragedy. It’s a tragedy things escalated to this point. You can’t do that forever.”

“This is just a consequence. And something I would do for you in a heartbeat whenever necessary.”

“Graham, I don’t want you to get hurt because--”

“They hurt you. I won’t let you go through that alone. Besides,” he comes closer to you again. “As I already told you, I can take care of myself, most of the time.” He takes your face in his hands, his fingers so delicately running across your cheeks to dry your tears. You knew that gesture wasn’t his way of asking you for anything you weren’t ready to give him yet. He just wanted you to feel safe. “And I want to take care of you.”

“I’m the one cleaning your wounds.”

“A great partnership, I think.” Coxon chuckles softly, and finally gets a smile out of you. As he always does. “And they make me look cool, don’t you think?”

“Shut up.” You giggle, still feeling too emotional to return to the stage. You sigh: “Thank you for being there for me. You know I’m still not very used to it. Just please be safe.”

The roadie returns, a little flustered by interrupting your little moment together. “5 minutes and you’re back, guys.”

“Okay!” You both turn to answer her.

“I’ll be. No need to thank me for anything, Y/N.” He answers, giving your forehead a little kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Give me two minutes. I’ll be right behind you.”

“What’s it like, being the only woman in the band?”

Four eyerolls at once don’t seem to faze the interviewer. She waits for your response.

Apparently the thousand invasive questions regarding Damon’s love life and the same bullshit treatment of women as either rare specimen or sex dolls is what pleases the audience of music TV shows these days.

“What do you think?” is what you say.

“Must be a thrill to have these beautiful boys around you all the time. And we’ve heard you never even took advantage of it!”

You don’t like where this is heading. “Is that… a bad thing? I don’t know what you mean.”

“Perhaps some of our lady viewers might think it is. No judgement though!” She raises her hands. “You do you, it’s just that it’s quite unexpected to see prudes in non-Christian bands. I mean… from what we’ve heard.”

“I’m sorry? What are you trying to say? What did you hear?”

Her tongue clicks while she stares at you with defiance and mischief on her eyes, as she goes a little further and raises her voice so it can overlay yours. “Oh love. You do know what I’m talking about. There’s no need to be ashamed of being a virgin.”

Your cheek burns intensely and the only thing you wished for was for the ground to swallow you whole. Dave and Graham are especially uncomfortable. Damon’s a bit amused. The three knew almost everything there was to know about you. The one topic that surprisingly they didn’t know about is that you’re still a virgin.

They know you’ve been single for a long time. They know that’s part of what draws so much attention and twisted lore regarding you and your past, but that’s not something they felt they needed to know about you at all, and you truly never felt the need to comment about that with any of them, and they haven’t asked. Not even Mr. “the way to be successful in this game is to make all the boys wanna be you and all the girls wanna sleep with you. In your case that’d work in reverse” Damon Albarn.

“Is that even something that should be discussed in an interview about our music? Is that what your boss told you to ask her about?” Dave answers, his tone venomous.

“Musicians are way more than just music. You’re entertainment in every sense of the word.”

“Who told you that about me?” You asked, not sure if you want to know the answer.

“A lovely elderly lady who lives in Elgin Crescent. She knows you so well.”

That’s your mum. That’s how far low your relationship has degraded. You’re not surprised. That doesn’t feel less like a punch on your gut, but you don’t feel like tumbling again. Not today.

“I know who you’re talking about. Tell her I asked her to go fuck herself and burn in hell. In that order.”

“But that’s your--”

“Yes, she is my mum!” If people are going to expose you anyway, then why don’t you do it on your terms? “We’re truly entertainment in every sense of the word, aren’t we. Not everyone’s mum’s a cunt. Some of us aren’t that lucky.”

“You want to be the next Gallagher sister with the spicy remarks?”

“Not sure. But I do want to be the last person you ever get to interview.”

The management of the band wasn’t at all surprised your interview became UK’s topic of the week. People were heavily divided between family is family and we shouldn’t hate our relatives and blood isn’t everything, family can be shitty too. Your bandmates were proud of you. The management was angry but tried to understand, and didn’t press you for further explanations. They suggested a two-week break from everything so Blur could rest their image and start a fresh cycle after that, and you gracefully accepted it.

The whole thing seemed so ridiculous the more you thought about it. Did your mum tell the reporter about that gratuitously? What was their conversation like? How did that even happen?

You became the butt of jokes in some places. You saw other famous people doing challenges between them, countdowns, all sorts of crude remarks. What a pathetic, sad chapter of your career.

You dial Graham, and you feel like your heart was about to burst out of your chest.

“Hey, Gra. It’s me.”

“Hey, Y/N.” He sounds pleasantly surprised. “How's it going?”

“Better, I guess. I have to take my mind off all that chaos though. Are you available right now?��

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been owing me a movie night for quite a while now and I miss spending time with you. Wanna come over?”

“Aww. Sure, I--um. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“I’m pretty sure I got everything we need here--ah… I think I don’t have any more beers.”

“I’ll buy some then. See ya in a few minutes.”

Actually, you couldn’t take all that chaos off your mind because that was the only thing in it. You’re feeling so nervous.

The main reasons sex wasn’t a priority for you until now were:

You didn’t have any real opportunities of losing your virginity in your teens. You were impossibly introspective until, like, 3, 4 years ago, and the way your family worked hasn’t really allowed you to get really close to people. Be it boyfriends, girlfriends or just friends. Anything that threatened to take time off the various tasks and classes your parents assigned to you just couldn’t be part of your life. To be honest, you still struggled a bit to form meaningful connections with people thanks to how you grew up.

The moment you stopped being shy, you noticed it was a real man’s world out there, especially in music, classical or not. You didn’t want anyone to think you fucked your way up to the top, you didn’t want any messy affairs. Also, you had yourself, and you didn’t get all of the hype regarding the concept of screwing someone. But apparently there’s a lot you’ve been missing, given the importance people seem to give to it. After that incident, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t give in to any kind of misogynistic pressure, that was one that really got under your skin.

You never really found someone who you felt 100% safe with in that sense until the one who’s about to arrive at your house appeared in your life. Bloody hell, and you don’t even have anything romantic going on. By the time you were a Blur member, you’ve fooled around a bit, but not all the way. You knew how to kiss, knew how to touch yourself and even brought manual satisfaction to some random fool you thought you were into one time. But perhaps this is the time to go all the way. Why not? Everyone knew how close you two were. He made you feel special. He was so kind. And gorgeous. And--

You hear a knock on your door. It’s him. Beers in hand, hair somewhat in place, twitchy as ever.

He comes inside and you feel like your legs will give up anytime. It was not the first time he visited you. It was one of many, actually, and he noticed you were acting… different.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks after a brief dialogue between you two, after plating some snacks for both of you.

“Graham...” You sigh, being really careful with your words. “What is your perception of me?”

“My perception of you?” He smiles. “I… think you’re great. You’re fun to be around. You’re one of the best musicians I know, if not the best. Why are you asking me that?”

“N-nothing. It’s nothing. Also, I asked the wrong question. What was your first perception of me?”

“Uh… the day of your audition?”

“Exactly. You barely talked to me that day.”

His eyes lower to his own feet. “I was really timid, actually. I wasn’t used to being near any girl, especially one who… w-would spend so much time around me if everything went well.”

You giggle. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never!” his smile turns into a full blown laughter. You melt at his confession. “Also because it seemed like you were trying to read my mind or something.”

“Of course! Because I thought you hated me!” Now that was a laughter you two shared. You do a voice: “‘Why is that pesky girl trying to get in my band?’”

“My goodness, no! I don’t even sound like that - you know what, I changed my mind. You suck. Because, besides the fact you don’t even know what I sound like, you still haven’t told me why you are asking me that in the first place.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he slightly cornered you physically in one of the kitchen corridors. Graham could be really persuasive when he wanted to.

“Okay. Right. Um. I’ve been thinking about some stuff.”

“What, exactly?”

“Everything that happened this month. The great virginity debacle,” you roll your eyes, and he scoffs.

“You don’t own anyone any information about what you do or don't do with your life. Everyone’s being so invasive. That was incredibly childish of the reporter to do, and we talked about that hundreds of times.”

“Yeah, but… you know what, forget it.”

“Tell me, Y/N. I just said that because I want you to know you were not in the wrong.”

“I know. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s silly for me to… keep closing myself for affection. Any kind of affection.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in curiosity.

“I’m not sure if it’s the pressure that finally got under my skin, but… I’m willing to learn what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s silly that I’m still a virgin.”

He bites his lips, still processing what you just said, expression unreadable. Perhaps you’ve treaded a ground you shouldn’t. You step back both literally and figuratively. “I’m sorry I even brought that up--”

“No, no, don’t be.” He assures you. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all. I swear.”

“And...” You know what. You already went too far, so why not go all the way. You’ve already gone way past the point of no return. “I was wondering if… you would… popmycherry?”

His eyes widen, yours still closed. When you finally open them, he’s closer to you again.

If his head was a machine, you’re sure it would be releasing lots of steam and shaking due to overprocessing. You felt like you just ruined everything.

“Y/N, you don’t need to do it if you don’t really want to.”

“But I want it! At first I thought I didn’t, but then I thought...”

“I don’t want to be part of that if you’re just doing it to fulfill weird expectations.”

“But it’s not that. Not just... that. I asked about your perception of me because I really like you, Gra. I think we should be more than friends and I wanted to know what you think about me. And I want to know what the fuss is about, yes, but I’m not telling you that just so I can lose my virginity to prove some point. I’m telling you that because I like you, I want to kiss you, and I think it would be a great idea if you showed me what it’s like. Y-you know, sex.”

“I-I can’t believe it. Did you even have any movie in mind?” His smile’s back, but you’re still not confident about what his answer will be.

“I didn’t. I’m sorry. You don’t have to--”

He sighs. “I was in love with you the moment I first saw you, actually.” He says it like he’s releasing a huge load out of his back, his arms crossed. Now your eyes widen, and you hold your breath without even noticing. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know how you feel, or, felt about relationships, so… there wasn’t any reason for me to tell you that. And what I said about being timid was just half of the truth.”

“Huh?”

“I also was really intimidated by how pretty you looked. You can’t imagine how.”

“No way.”

“It’s true. I felt like I wasn’t even worthy of looking at you, really.”

“You’re joking. That’s mean, Gra.”

“I’m not. I’m really not.” He doesn’t look like he is joking. He looks relieved. “I’m really not. That’s why I’m so surprised by your request.”

“I’m nothing special.”

“You are everything to me. But I can’t accept your offer, not now.”

“Are you… seeing someone? Am I too late?”

“No. Definitely not. I just want you to be sure you’re not doing it because people are saying you should.”

“Graham, I’m a grown woman.”

“I know.”

Graham carefully presses his slightly chapped lips to yours, kissing you for a few precious, heart stopping seconds before pulling away; his voice is impossibly silky when he suggests, “Let’s watch a movie. How about The Godfather? I heard it’s airing tonight. Then, if in two weeks you don’t change your mind, tell me and I’ll be glad to help you with what you want. Do we have a deal?”

“That’s so unfair. I want you so bad.” You whisper.

“Tell me if you still do in two weeks.”

You sigh, defeated. “...Deal.”

You definitely notice the subtle shift in Graham’s personality and actions after that fateful night. If you were already close, both figuratively and literally, it now seemed like he would use any excuse to always touch you, be near you, sometimes tease you. The shift was subtle, though, don’t forget it’s still Graham Coxon we’re talking about - the constant “is it okay if”s or “is it alright if I”s were still there, as careful as ever. You don’t even talk about your deal that entire time, or even kiss again - sometimes you wondered if it was even real or just a fabrication of your mind.

The way he now caressed your hand discreetly when you listened to Damon’s ramblings, the way his hands now went directly to your waist when your games became too handsy, the way he seemed to be madly in love with everything you were and still are from the start - made you realize you were ready for this man to be a consistent part of your life.

The dust of the controversy was settled, and your own intentions were 100% clear to you now. The societal pressure has waned. The need for Graham to be your first persisted. After exactly 2 weeks have passed, you call him again, yearning to share the answer with him.

One beep.

Two beeps.

Three beeps.

Four beeps. “Hello?”

You release a sigh hidden deep inside of your lungs. “Graham, it’s Y/N.”

“Oh. It’s been two weeks.” You could hear the contemplative tone of his voice.

“...Yeah. That’s precisely the reason I’m calling you.”

“Do you still want to…?”

“...Desperately.”

“Ok.” He chuckles, flustered as hell on the other side of the phone, probably one of the prettiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Right. Ok. Your place or mine?”

“I think there’ll be an element of mystery if I go to your place this time.” You lose some of the constraints this silly shyness has been tying you on. “Do you have everything we might need there?”

“We don’t need a dungeon, you know.”

“The basics.” You make your smile heard.

“I do have… I do have the basics.”

“See you in a few minutes then.”

“Will you want to… ease into it? Or just go straight to it?”

“God, don’t make it awkward!” Your cheeks burn, your smile turning into contagious laughter. “Maybe… I don’t know. Ease into it, I guess? A movie night… but with s-something else?”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

“Alright then. See you.”

“See you.”

You don’t choose any particularly fancy or sexy clothes, instead settling for a slightly oversized yellow striped shirt he gave you as a birthday present some months ago and some skirt that fit you well. He wasn’t one to lavish his loved ones with gifts all the time, but few things were as precious as the look on his face whenever he saw you wearing something he gave you or, hell, even eating something he paid for you. You’re thrilled to see it again when he opens the door for you, it easing some of your deepest doubts.

2001: A Space Odyssey is already playing on the TV when you arrive. Despite it being one of your favorite movies of all time, and his, you’re not mad it was already halfway through when you arrived. It wasn’t your main priority to rewatch it for the 17th time tonight.

He offers you some wine, which you accept to ease the nerves. You sit on his couch, and he shares the cozy space with you, now mindlessly throwing one of his arms around your shoulders. You cuddle up to him, and everything seems peaceful in the world for a while.

The tip of his fingers softly caress your lifted knee, absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but notice how well his body fits with yours, how your skin was apparently made for him to touch, and the anxiety rumbles in your stomach like a storm in a wild wavy sea. After some minutes, you raise your head, his big brown eyes meeting yours as if asking you a silent question. You leaned up a bit more to press your lips to his, in a silent answer. The sweetness in him makes this moment as precious as every other moment you ever shared with him. His hands enter your hair, making you shiver a bit from the unfamiliarity and the electricity of it all - but it doesn’t sway you from deepening the kiss, wanting more of his taste, more of this, more of him.

“Do you wanna take this to the bed?” He whispers, after noticing your moans were becoming more frequent and needy. You nod, and you are taken by surprise when he carries you bridal style to it, hiding your excited giggles in his broad shoulders.

Graham wasn’t exactly the most organized man in the world - so the fact that his bedroom was now impossibly tidy was something that positively caught your attention. He put some planning into this. He lays you down and you part your legs, beckoning him to meet you between them. He does, and you go back to the breathtaking makeout session. You notice he’s holding himself back a bit, taking his time, his warm tongue moving smoothly, not hurriedly, against yours. His self control falters a bit though, given how he can’t stop grinding against you. You follow the rhythm of his hips a bit timidly and not nearly as in sync as you’d really like, though the pressure his covered cock is creating against your core can already be felt and some particular thrusts are able to fill at least partially the aching, wet need growing within you.

“How do you feel about oral?” He asks, breath warm near your ear, his voice raspy and spent by his desire for you.

“Um… It would be my first time receiving or doing it.”

“Would you like me to go down on you?”

“Wow. I never thought I would hear you saying something like that.” You smile, still assimilating the situation you’re in, trying not to show how badly his voice is affecting you. “Sure.”

“I never thought I would get to propose this to you. Aren’t we full of surprises lately.” He smiles back, warmly. He notices your hands trembling a bit from how anxious you are while you’re taking off your underwear with his help, and as he lowers himself to where you need him most, he takes your hands in his as an act of reassurance. “Tell me what you like. Tell me if what I’m doing works for you. I want this to be a great experience.”

“You want me to get addicted to you, that’s what you want,” He chuckles, lovingly kissing your thigh as a reply. “Okay, Gra. Guess I’ll find out along the way.”

You quickly take a peak below you to see the lower half of his face disappear in the middle of your thighs. The sight alone sets your fire ablaze, as he hooks his arms around your thighs and lifts you closer to his mouth, his lips ghosting over the curls between your legs tantalizingly and his breath catching when your hips jerk forward.

As he begins his ministrations, you immediately notice it’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That feeling was completely alien to you. It was even wetter than you expected, and weird, but powerfully pleasant. Before this exact moment, you had a firm belief that hardly anyone else would make you feel the same way, or better, than you do yourself, but apparently you were very wrong. Thankfully you were wrong. “My god,” you gasp as the flat of his tongue drags over your folds, too much and not enough, and you jerk at the contact. “This is great. So weird, but-- great.”

He moans at your response, his movements carefully enthusiastic. He works his tongue between your folds and traces up to curl the tip of it around your clit, and it’s quite endearing and madly arousing to see how he eats out you like you’re the sweetest and tastier dessert he has ever tasted. You involuntarily buck against him with a desperate sound the moment he moves his tongue and lips in a particularly wicked way, something that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed by him, but you still feel the need to highlight in case it didn’t - “That. Keep doing that, please,”

And he does. The building of this climax is also different than the ones you already had by your own hands, and is more coy. As he sees the drops of sweat sliding along your soft skin and the expressions on your face as you get lost in this new but enchanting sensations, his hesitation and self-control fades away; there’s nothing uncertain in the way he buries his face in your cunt now, nothing restrained in the groan he lets out as he devours you and drinks you down as if you’re the first stream of water he has seen in days.

His tongue glides deeper in your folds again and again, swirling up through the wetness you’re coated with to tease at your clit while he grunts and strains closer, squeezing your thighs with both hands tight. The wave of heat inside of you is cresting so fast, you don't even know how to tell him, how to signal that you’re nearly done for and, in the end, it happens too fast to even try. He sucks at your clit, circling it with his tongue, once, twice, and then you’re crying out, shaking underneath him, trying to keep your thighs from clenching too hard around his head as he laps you through it with with urgent whimpers and moans, as if he cannot have enough of you.

You’re still trembling when he rises, the look on his face revealing to you how proud he feels by making you feel this way. It looks so good on him.

You fail miserably at the simple task of connecting words together after that, choosing instead to collect your remaining strength, prop yourself up and beckon him again to keep kissing him and learn, through his talented tongue, how you taste. He kisses the thin fabric of the shirt at your chest that covers you from view, your throat, your jaw, and before he reaches your impatient lips, he notes, sinfully, “Seems like you enjoyed yourself, love.”

“That was… unbelievable. Stars, I want to make you feel good too. Please show me how.”

“Keep kissing me,” he begs, voice still strained from how aroused he is. “I want to be inside you so bad. Let’s get you prepared.” You’re still so sensitive, you tread on overstimulation when his fingers lightly touch your clit, making you break the kiss in a hiss. He traces a line on your folds, inspecting the impact his mouth had on you. “So wet for me.”

“Bit slower, Gra,” He complies to your breathy plea, his fingers now more tame as he slowly spreads your wetness throughout your pussy. He stretches towards the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube, interrupting his contact to spread some on his fingers before unhurriedly slipping his middle finger inside of you. The coldness of the gel makes you shiver in surprise, the easiness brought by it very welcomed. Again - the sensation is odd. Completely unfamiliar. The feeling of having something inside of you for the first time, going further than you ever dared to try, probing, exploring; the coldness of the lube clashing against your burning hot cunt. But it also felt nice. The focused look on his face was adorable, he looked like he was a scientist in the middle of very complex research.

Despite the panting, the messy hair and the fire in his eyes.

Your body already has a lot of new sensations to process simultaneously, so when he asks you to take off your bra and shirt so his tongue can work on your nipples - which you gladly accept, you feel like you’re on sensual overload. His tongue, again, so talented, takes your mind off the slight burning you feel when he introduces his ring finger to your soaked, throbbing core, his focused, carefully overpowering and constant stimulation driving you insane.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, voice muffled by your breast. You nod, carried by the wave of pleasure sweeping you.

“Yes. God, yes.” You pant, tangling your fingers tightly on his thick hair as an encouragement, a desperate sound escaping from your lips the moment he reaches a certain point within you you didn’t even know existed, hot mouth continuing to lick and suck your nipple. Even though you were spent by your last orgasm, he was indeed getting you addicted to those new feelings, and even though this was heavenly, truly heavenly, you needed more. “Gra, I’m ready, I think.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Please.”

Releasing your nipple from his lips with a sounding pop, he eagerly frees himself from his trousers - hard as a brick - and puts protection and lubrication on, swiftly positioning himself between your thighs while stroking himself to the sight in front of him. You motion to take off your skirt, and he holds your hand, not letting you. “Don’t. It’ll be really hot to fuck you in this.” He confesses, giving your forehead a kiss in a very different context than before. He aligns his forehead with yours, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air. He looks deep into your eyes, slowly running the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy, coating himself in the remnants of your pleasure. “Do you trust me?”

You trust me to know your limits? Not to go any further if you don’t really want me to?

“Absolutely.”

The only response you get from him is a shuddering, helpless moan into your mouth and you hold him tighter to you, grinding your still sensitive cunt up against his cock while he pulls hard at the soft fur next to your head. You feel your soaking pussy lips part around the solid curve of his length and gradually coat the underside of him in slick with every gentle circle and roll your hips make, as he finally pulls away from your mouth to drop his forehead to your neck. He then, very slowly, penetrates you, stopping when he hears the noises you make indicating you’re struggling to adjust to his presence. Out of everything you’ve felt in the last minutes, this was by far the most painful sensation. “This-- is new,” you note, your face completely incapable of hiding the discomfort. He also notices that.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

“It’s okay. I’ll get used to it.”

“It’s not supposed to be about endurance, you know.” He says, a bit breathless and worried, caressing your hair. “Tell me when it’s okay to move. Or if you feel too much pain.”

After some long seconds and some deep breaths, you say: “Okay. Go on.”

“As you wish.”

He moves inside you at a very slow pace, the lubrication clearly making it easier for you to handle it. It still hurts, significantly, but the sensation of being filled is also surprisingly arousing.

His hand moves to your sensitive clit again in small, measured circles, your little moans being a mixture of the pain of penetration and the sheer ecstasy of seeing him falling apart because of you. The way his chest heaves while the drops of sweat start pearling his fair skin, the furrowed brows and broken groans, the thickness of him as he rests heavy up against your entrance, the way his voice presses deliciously tight in his throat as he gasps out into the quiet room - everything’s making your chest burst in love and satisfaction. You tighten your grip around him and roll your hips up into his cock, letting it break you open nice and slow; it stretches you wide with a deliciously sharp fullness and pleasure rips through you, and Graham becomes even more vocal as he picks up a steady and gradually faster pace. He turned all of your keys, it’s about time you turn some of his.

“Graham, deeper,” you whimper, continuing to tighten your legs and hoist yourself up, lifting your hips to take his cock deeper inside you. His name rips itself from your throat while Coxon clenches his jaw and starts to lose himself in the pleasure, holding you down into the bed while he allows your desperation to guide him to the perfect angle and speed to sate you. He found denying you to be impossible.

He snarls and curses as he holds you down and rails you, determined to make you sing again before he finishes, and to his delight, your heightened sensitivity gives him what he wants. And this time, he couldn't hold on.

Graham kisses you one last time as he groans and gives in, head dropping to your neck again. You didn’t reach a second climax, but stars, what an experience you just had.

When he comes back to himself enough to realise he still had you practically folded in half, he carefully pulls his softening cock free, taking the condom off and taking the strands of hair out of your face as you struggle to catch your breath. You suggest a shared bath, a suggestion he gladly accepts.

Too tired and too sore for pillow talk, comfortable silence falls as your hand finds his, and you lay, listening to each other’s breathing slowly settle.

I could get used to his little snore on my chest, is the last thought that twinkles on your mind before you fall asleep snuggled with him.

#graham coxon #alex james #damon albarn #dave rowntree #blur #britpop #smut #imagine #reader insert #graham coxon x reader #graham x reader #y/n #fluff #au #fanfiction #blur band

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azrielsribbon · 4 years

Text

!!! A COURT OF SILVER FLAME SPOILERS !!!

Alternatively, Asli finished the book in like six hours and has many, many thoughts.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, SOME CASSIAN AND NESSIAN AS A WHOLE.

holy shit. this is a lot.

She has grown so much, and I mean that by the little things.

I love that sjm didn’t make it so she was addicted to the wine and sex

Okay I understand Nesta was frustrating sometimes because she really was stubborn but some of the shit Cassian said was really out of line. Especially when he screamed that no one like fucking liked her.

Cassian was down so bad this entire book and I knew that the moment he said he hadn’t bed a female in two years. He was STARVINGGG

Her determination in getting down those stairs, I probably wouldve tested myself down a window or something.

I liked how she bonded with the House. It was a refreshing, different take on loneliness and finding a friend.

The House and how it looked after her. It was the biggest thing in her journey.

One theme I see in Nesta a lot is self sabotage, especially when it means the safety of others. She’s ready to throw herself in front of them.

Her banter with Cassian was really nice to read.

WHEN SHE MENTIONED HAVING A THREESOME TWICE I DIED

Cassian and his backstory was rip. It was really sad thinking about how little kid Cass really regretted some of the things that even he couldn’t control.

sjm did not disappoint with inner thoughts. Those were really refreshing.

She wasn’t vividly jealous or furious at Mor and Cassian’s friendship and I really liked that take.

Cassian’s silent jealously when Helion tries to flirt with Nesta and she dodged it LMAOOO

When Cassian kisses her in front of their family to help her get out of the map

Her silent bond with Az! That kept me going honestly. He was a sly bastard sometimes.

Sometimes I really questioned somethings, like those fast smut scenes but that’s just my preference.

Her marching down to Amren’s after she finds out they voted against her having the weapons she Made

Not to mention how she told Feyre about the baby and the labor risk out of anger, that really hurt both of them and me.

When she stayed silent during her punishment hike with Cassian. Each thought tore me apart.

When he warned her about falling and she was glad he didn’t see the expression on her face. How she didn’t mind if she fell down and how it would better.

When she cried after all those days of silence and finally told him how she felt underneath all that.

He softened up fast too and blamed himself for not realizing all this time why she hated the fire.

Can we talk about that dancing scene with Eris? And how Cassian was secretly exploding on the side as he remembered her mother wanted her to marry a Prince just like Eris.

WHEN ERIS ASKED RHYS WHAT HE WANTED IN EXCHANGE FOR NESTA TO BE HIS BRIDE AFTER LIKE A COUPLE DANCED LMAOO

The Solstice scene had my heart. The gift Az got Nesta and how she hugged him after he told her about it. How Cassian smiled at the sight.

HOW CASS GOT HER A LITTLE MUSIC BOX RECORDED WITH THE MUSIC FROM THE BALLROOM AND HOW HE ASKED THE MUSICIANS TO PERFORM IT FOR HIM AFTER EVERYONE LEFT SO HE COULD GET IT FOR HERRRR

They really kept shit away from each other till it exploded in an argument and that’s a reoccurring theme with this book couple.

WHAT MADE ME SO FRUSTRATED WAS HOW HE WANTED TO STAY IN HER BED AFTER SEX AND SHE WANTED TO CUDDLE BUT THEY DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AND ASSUMED THE OTHER DIDNT WANT IT

The topic of mates was RUSHED. Like I mean really rushed. First they argue, he says shackled and then the next time they get to speak (after the forced Blood Rite and labor scene) they accept it? I dont know, it didn’t sit with me.

I wish Nesta would elaborate on why she didn’t believe in Mates even more and Cassian would actually listen for once. Again, rushed.

The ending was fast paced in my opinion. We could’ve really had more to go off of, I needed more domestic Nessian.

ON THE TOPIC OF NESTA, GWYN, EMERIE

I am obsessed with Gwyn, Emerie and their friendship with Nesta.

I love how Gwyn and Nesta started, both gritting their teeth and still appreciating that aspect of each other.

How Nesta raced to help her with a book even when their first encounter wasn’t the friendliest.

Gwyn being persistent in paying back her small debt. I love her.

When Gwyn applied to defense lessons after Nesta defended them from the scholar priestess.

Emerie, my homegirl. I love her to death. The way she easily befriends Nesta, how Nesta stands up for her when her cousin comes to bother her.

I don’t know if it was just me, but Emerie and Mor might possibly be something. Either good friends or interested lovers.

THE WAY EMERIE BONDED OVER SMUTTY NOVELS WITH THE OTHER GIRLS AND LET THEM BORROW HER STUFFFFFF

Gwyn helping Nesta with her research on Valkyries. Muah.

Gwyn and Az, I feel like something might happen here and if it does, I do not want any Elriel drama getting dragged in, MY GIRL GWYN HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH OKAY

Gwyn thinking she doesn’t deserve the purity jewel the other priestesses wear and her backstory honestly just broke me. She endured so much.

Emerie and everything she lost. Her mother, her brother, her wings and any dreams she had of flying. How she distracts herself with work and gardening to keep that off her mind.

The way the girls all developed inside jokes, jokingly hanged up on Cassian at training and always had Nesta’s back.

The way they were dedicated to each other even during the Rite when they couldve let one another behind and won.

HER SISTERSSS I CRIED I WOULD DIE FOR THIS MF TRIOOOO

ON THE TOPIC OF THE INNER CIRCLE + THE ARCHERON PARENTS

Fey-ruh was pregoooo she and Rhys raw dogged it

I felt really really bad when no one fucking told her she would die because the baby had wings and she wasn’t fit to give birth like that. Like. What.

Can we talk about how they fucked when Feyre was in her Illyrian form and didn’t think the thing through?

Rhys, I can’t stand the guy. First he wants to make a bargain with his mate that they die together and then he wants to keep it from her that she can die when giving birth to their kid.

I think what pissed me off the most was when he was trying to help Cassian get Nesta out of a nightmare/power “episode” and had to experience what she did with the Cauldron and seeing Elain and Cassian hurt. He said he knew she was feeling something but seeing and feeling it yourself was different. Yeah, what else did you think smartass.

Rhys has a habit of keeping important shit secret, Amren is no better either. I think that’s what pissed me off the most. They sometimes kept the too important shit away.

As much as Nesta grew, so did Feyre. They both developed pretty good in my mind, I don’t hate her as much as I despise Rhys sometimes. All and all I love how she and Nesta ended up.

Amren....I get her point about Nesta using and abusing their friendship. At the same time, sometimes she was too harsh.

Elain, darling old cottage core aesthetic Elain. I found her to be a little insufferable sometimes. How she showed up unexpectedly at the Library to talk to Nesta and they got into an argument was funny to me since Nesta pulled out some stuff on her.

ELAIN THANKING NESTA AND SAYING FINALLY AFTER SHE TELLS HER TO “OH FUCK OFF” AT THE SOLSTICE PARTY WAS SO RANDOM

Elain and Lucien is some fucked up shit. I understand how she doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that they’re mates and all that but you can atleast thank the guy when he gives you a gift on Solstice.

I feel bad for Lucien because as sweet as Elain might show to be, she’s really hurting him and could just reject him if she really doesn’t want him.

AZ AZ AZ I LOVE HIM AND HIS SLY MOMENTS

Az when he cockblocks is the best thing. Do it more often.

Az and Nesta’s bond is something I want to see more, as well as how she literally thought about a threesome with him and Cassian.

Morriiiiigan. Everyone mentions her beauty and how she’s like the sun walking and I admire that. She wasn’t as annoying as I thought she’d be on the topic of Nesta and Cassian being an item.

She also wasn’t in the book as much which made sense since she was in Vallahan. I did like how she accepted Nessian towards the end.

The long awaited Mrs Archeron. Some of my theories about her proved true! About how she groomed her daughters into marriage ideologies at the worst age. 12 and 11? What the fuck?

The way she called Elain a pretty thing with no ambition at 11, no wonder Nesta and Elain have no proper knowledge of survival like Feyre did. She was set on making sure Nesta married someone who would treat her well, Elain married someone rich since her beauty was beyond all three of them.

Literally Mrs Archeron was not okay LMAOOO why are you telling your daughters this when they haven’t even bled yet damn CHILL

I felt bad since she didn’t care for Feyre and only their father doted on Elain and Feyre. Nesta was kept all to her mother to feed off Mrs Archeron’s narcissism.

Not to mention she died a year later

I found it funny Elain mentioned how at 15, Nesta even had their dad fearing her. Like it’s your daughter, wdym you fear her

The backstory on how Nesta treated him and how she feels now looking back. It was saddening and I unfortunately know the regret of not doing somethings. It must eat her alive.

I enjoyed reading this book, even if I wasn’t content with the ending. I tabbed a LOT of things so you’ll probably catch me editing and adding more to this in the morning. Thank you for reading all the way down here! 🤍

#nesta archeron #nessian #acosf spoilers #acofas #a court of silver flames #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #cassian #feyre archeron #elain archeron

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izartn · 4 years

Text

MDZS JGY fic promt

I’m thinking about Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao and I think I would love to read a fic of him snapping in the opposite direction of his desperate grab for power and respect from his shit father. We know, thanks to JGS gruesome murder that at some point, after already being a shitty human doing murdery things, JGY snapped hard and said: “if i’m gonna do the shitty things of running this sect i’ll do them for myself and fuck you to death”. Quite literally.

So I’d like to imagine a world where he, like, not necessary becomes a much better person; I dunno about the JZX and WWX kill plot, or about NMJ. I think he’s very set in his auto-preservating self-beneficing ways, and if you don’t really work well with that part of his chara then he’s not JGY anymore.

But instead of being, I’ll become the highest in the cultivation world, so i will be finally respected and listened to (uhm, didnt’ work especially well did it? they never let him forget his mother profession when it was his father who was the absolute worst) he decides that while cultivation is still something to aspire to -can’t forget about his mother dying dream, also longer life and health benefits + being a hero, doing the decent thing- he realises the cultivation sect system as it is horrible.

He was in the middle of the war, he saw it from both sides. He then went to low to high but still a servant. And it’s always blood what counts. He sees what happens to his other bastard brothers, to WWX when he decides enough is enough, and how he himself is still treated by his Sect despite his intelligence and abilities. And instead of trying to take refuge in the system, he is a bit more self-aware or inquiring; maybe he is more idealistic in some ways? But still oh so bitter, and decides to destroy the system from within.

You know what? Do it so he still rises to Leader of the Jin Sect (without prostitutes murdering and necrophilia; he is now more on the side of the common, so maybe he gets the help of Sisi or someone he knows to aid him poison his father and after he gets them a nice reward and packs them to a new life in Japan or something. Or he simply uses another subtle method without intermediaries or with unaware ones, he is certainly able of doing that when he isnt being an ironic murderer shit.) because it’ll serve him, and to be the leader responsible of making sure the so estimated Jin blood is disposesed will make him smug pleased. To slowly gain power and bit by bit erase the division between the noble clans and people who learn simply bcs of talent, scouting youngsters witht the excuse of replenishing the clans after the war and quiting the idiots nobles from their spoiled positions.

Hell you can even make LXC and NMJ (did he died before or after JGY becomes Sect Leader? Well if he is still alive, NHS doesn’t destroy him, but then WWX doesn’t come back. If he dies before, then the vengeance is still in play, but it’ll be even more fraughted bcs now JGY goals and methods are a lot more morally grey and watching WWX and LWJ confront that would be super interesting O-O), you can make them see those policies and be like, oh sure, that’s a good thing you’re doing A-yao. But also conflict with their positions in the nobility system, as time pases and JGY subtly passes more changes and brings to ruin those sect leaders more entrenched in the old ways and abusing of their people.

Programs for literacy, for the spread of knowledge and the civil use of cultivation techniques with the excuse of avoiding beforehand the formation of ghosts and resentment appealing to the lazy nature of the rich while eliminating bit by bit the necessity of their existence, like boiling a frog, the creation of the watchtowers still fits nicely and we know in canon he faced oppposition there so here it’s more important still, even more so Su She I think, will be elated with this turn of events and even more loyal lmao if JGY sells it well and JGY sells his ideas really well.

Maybe he helps XXC and SL bcs it’s in his interest they find success although he finds them naive; but JGY has a canon soft spot for people who treat him well regardless of his common born status, so. Maybe he intercedes with XY and convinces him to work with him taking out nobles reasonably (I bet XY will like that), and manages to avoid somehow XY elaborated revenge on SL and XXC? or executes him when he is too much of a wild card, but we know how that ended in canon... The best bet is making XY see on his own best interest to help in JGY vision but that’s well. almost crack fic lmao.

OH! Maybe he finds XY before the massacre of the Chang clan bcs he is searching for someone to help him above table and gets to him by offering a more subtle but still suitable appropriate revenge with the pro bonus of getting to do the same to others after and access to WWX manuscripts. You know this has a much higher chance of working, let’s go with this scenario. So he keeps XY out of his father reach, when he is searching for someone to gain control of the stygian seal and wen ning. Yeah, this will appeal immensely to JGY xD

You know, and JGY being beloved by the people, and having more than a facade of being just or fair, but proving it although it isn't in the interest of the nobles. And as he is politics savvy, although with more effort he could certainly make it so he avoids assassinations or walking in a minefield like wwx etc.

Depending on the NMJ situation... You could make it so NMJ doesn’t die and then they enter a stalemate of grudging respect bcs JGY wants more an ally in swaying people for his cause than his revenge, although he sure could make non lethal things to inconvenience NMJ lol. And NHS as sect leader wouldn’t have the same power to his decisions and reach, no matter if he is more manipulable; after all isn’t NHS a pampered noble in JGY eyes? Who could be sure if he even would follow JGY anyways...

And you could give it different endings depending on the development of JGY: a success where he gets to the point were factually the sects aren’t bloods based anymore, just a few like the lan (those traditionalists lol) resisting an unavoidable wave of change taht comes for everybody, and the money doesn’t flow in their pockets like a river to the ocean but instead it goes back to the people.

You could make it so it’s a partial success bcs JGY is still himself and does more than a few morally grey things that come to light with the NMJ murder reveal, but his changes linger and the common people plus others of the same ideal now trained and in process of being cultivators won’t let themselves be cowered by the awful nobility -another big conflict breeding, and maybe it won’t be successful but people have long memories and books and the new ideals of equality would spread regardless, so it would start again and again each time a bit better-. I think WWX POV in this case would be delicious omg, LXC conflict even more pointed. This would be, I think the more realistic and interesting to write take on the idea. Iand you now, I’m in favor of a novel setting and characterization, but to make it more painful, use the 16 gap of the show and nothing else (i haven’t see the show beyond the first episodes bcs i couldn’t take it lol) so JGY has more time to make changes.

You could make a downer ending (this I wouldn’t like lmao, but it’s there) so that shows the cruelty and inability of making changes to something so integrated and supported by itself, that JGY loses much to his revenge he takes more and more radical actions that come back to bit his ass with NMJ and JGS murder revelation. I think XY in here would be appropriate, in an antagonist role as in MDZS. But it still has an impact; JGY’s life, despite his faults was still more inspirational, made better impact than his canon self. Make it poetically tragic and a comment on the futility of trying to change society by oneself, but find beauty in the attempt itself which has created community, which will in the future do the true work of overthrowing the yokes of the high ups, educating and helping each other in their messy human lives.

All this ending, and JL conflict, who at this point has learnt much at his uncle JGY side, who has decided to (dunno about marrying QS and A-Song’s death. depending on your take and ending it’ll have different impact) go on with his labor bc he sees the good on it and swears to not be like the worst of JGY. A legacy he can reconcile with himself thanks too, to the experience of meeting WWX. JL is in a more fraught position with JC in this verse, I think, bc for one, he is more mature/not so spoiled and that would make JC glad, but his ideas are at the same time understable and anatema to JC who puts so much of his life on honoring the clan on making sure the Jiang carry on and his name isn’t forgotten but who recruited from nothing during the war. Who sees the danger in alienating the powers of the cultivation sects bc he saw what it did to WWX and he believes in protecting his own and to hell with the rest.

So very interesting!!!

You could spin so many takes from this, it’d be so fascinating and satisfying. I’d love to see the chara of JGY developed in this direction, bcs he has so much potential to waste it in so petty goals. His ambition is certainly big enough to believe he will damn well do a silent revolution well.

Just, using the classics to argue for equality and education and a good life even if you’re a peasant, using the cultivation basis and its suppose use to better oneself and the world in making a point of avoiding wars and violent retribution (to the public, he’s still a bit of an hypocrit bcs it serves him well to have a stick with which to beat his enemies lmao) and instead use diplomacy and a sort of rehabilitation or service thing. Because those ideas are there, in the different clasics and schools of thought (not confucianism, not as much) it’s just that the nobles and high scholars were never interested and used them to argue for a sort of natural hierarchy were they’re in top.

Let JGY create a new school of thought, and LXC and others seeing the merit on it. JGY has the reach and the intelligence and the ability.

The best revenge is living well and destroying the system which allowed the other to harm you, the ideas, the means. Create a fantasy fulfillment ^^

#meng yao #jin guangyao #mdzs #cql #the untamed #i think tv folks will appreciate this #meta #writing prompt

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sumeshi-t · 4 years

Text

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭

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5-seconds-of-fuck-me-please · 4 years

Text

I Do. (Post 1/2) (part 1 of ?)

Ashton.

"I just want a nice, normal guy to sweep me off my feet, and support my carmel vanilla coffee addiction. Is that so much to ask?!"

My best friend gave me an amused glance before dropping her gaze back towards her phone. I swear, that girl could hold two conversations face to face, surf facebook, and hold a buisness Skype call, all at the same time. A.D.D., they name is Rae.

"I've set you up on five dates so far, and you havent lasted longer then ten minutes with any of them," she countered. "So how about this...you tell me your dream guy, and I'll work off of that."

I sighed, tapping my foot nervously against the metal rung of the coffee shop table. I was always fidgeting. Whether it was shaking my foot, drumming my nails along the table, or pacing aimlessly around, I was always moving.

"I don't know," I sighed out on a breath. Picking up my iced vanilla, butterscotch, and chai latte, I took a sip before responding. "Dont you know anyone that actually has a life?"

Rae glanced up at me, cocking an eyebrow. "A life? Like, the other 5 were dead?"

I groaned. "The first guy had the ambition of a goldfish. Second guy wanted me to move into his mother's basement with him. Third guy was perfectly content to be a cashier th erest of his life and didnt want to even think about making more than minimum wage or he would loose government assistance.....shall I go on?"

Rae gave a throaty chuckle, causing three random guys to stop their conversations and look her way. She just had that way about her.

"Tell you what," she mused out loud. "Since the last five was a complete disaster, and I thought they would have been perfect for you, the next guy I pick will be the one who I think you'll hate the most. So.... Here's what I want from you. You pick what you want him to wear. You pick if you want flowers or not. And you pick the place to meet for drinks, dinner, movie...whatever. deal?"

I thought about it for a moment, the shrugged. "Fine. I want to come here. This coffee shop. No flowers. No expectations. I'll even pay for the both of our drinks. But he has to have a job. A good job. Or at least have a goal in mind," I amended.

Rae nodded. "Tell me more. Actually, tell me your dream. What's your fantasy date for this coffee. Close your eyes and describe the guy to me. What is he wearing. What does he look like. What is he drinking?"

I laughed, but saw the amusement in her eyes. Deciding to play along, I closed my eyes and tilted my head slightly back.

"White button down shirt with the sleeves rolled back a bit. Nice jeans, probably faded with a hole in the leg," I laughed out. "Gorgeous smile because he laughs a whole lot and has an amazing sense of humor. Eyes that are kind and sparkle. Shaggy hair that probably falls into his eyes...." I trailed off.

"Sounds like quite the catch," Rae laughed out on a breath. She sounded amused, which kind of worried me a bit.

I opened my eyes and glanced at her. "Why do you sound like you just ate a canary?"

Rae's eyes sparkled as she tried to suppress a smile. "I know who would be perfect for you, and...he should be here in about two minutes."

My jaw dropped to the floor. "What?! Theres no way you could have called someone and set it up so fast. You had this planned!" I shrieked. Not because she set me up, but because she didnt warn me.

I was dressed in my -I dont give a shit, today is my day off- clothes. A pair of faded dark grey sweatpants with a hole in the left knee, dark green jumper with a faded brand logo running down the arm, and hair unbrushed and tossed into a messy bun. Plus I was still wearing yesterdays makeup which had faded to a lovely raccoon inspired look.

"This wasnt a setup," she argued lovingly, tossing her hands up to her side quickly. "Swear it. You know i was meeting a few friends here today. One of them would be perfect for you."

I eyed her warily. "The so-called friends that are mysteriously out of the country doing something tha you refuse to tell me, along with their names? The ones who you are best friends with...yet I know nothing about, and we have been best friends since middle school?!" I mused, scrunching my nose up at the thought.

Granted, my and Rae are best friends for over 15 years now, but there was a random 2 year period where were were heavily into the party and drug scene. We kinda split ways and didnt talk for 2 years, then both of us, separately, decided to get our lives in order and somehow reconnected as if nothing had happened.

Strange how life works out.

"They aren't...." I trailed off.

"They were, " she nodded. "Not anymore tho. I used to hang out and binge with them tho. They cleaned their lives up as well. Just took them longer."

I nodded, glancing down at my almost empty iced coffee as I dragged my nails along the styrofoam, making patterns on the cup. "I'm willing to give it a go I guess. Coffee never hurt anyone, right?"

"Right," she agreed, glancing down once again to her phone to resume whatever multi-conversation she was having.

I didnt realize until a few minutes later that I was humming and singing along the the songs playing over the cafe speakers.

"Do you like this band?" She asked randomly, not taking her focus from her phone.

"Love them," I remarked, not really paying attention. "I just got their new album yesterday actually."

She made a small chuckle. "Let me guess then...you were always a guitar or lead singer chick. So.... Luke?"

I grinned, breaking my gaze away from all the pretty little designs my nails etched into my now empty coffee cup. " Usually , yes you would have been correct. And while he is hot, as is the othe guitarist...my heart lies elsewhere in the band."

"Bassist?" She chanced, finally placing her phone down and looking up. Her eyes darted over my shoulder, then came back to focus on my face. A grin broke out, smile so wide it reminded me of the Cheshire cat.

"Um, nooo," I drawled. "I actually seemed to be drawn to.....why the hell are you staring a time like that?!" I asked, breaking the conversation. "You look fucking creepy."

Her eyes seemed to dart over my shoulder again to where the cashier counter was, then back to me again. "So the drummer then?" She mused, not bothering to hide the grin. "You have a thing for the drummer?"

I continued to stare at her, trying to puzzle out what the hell was making her act so weird. "Yeah...?" I dragged out.

"Hmmm, and why would that be? I'm honestly curious. Usually you always go for the guitar rock-God type for looks."

I cocked my head to the side. "You really want an answer?"

Rae grinned again. Nodding her head emphatically. "Oh yes. Please, by all means."

I shrugged, taking the last small sip from my coffee. "He always seemed the most put together. Knows how to laugh, but always seems polite. Has an amazing voice, but would rather be in the background playing his heart out. And he gives out total Daddy vibes," I joked. "Plus, he is seriously hot. They all are in that band actually."

Rae burst out laughing, covering her mouth with both hands. I swear, tears started to form in her eyes.

I just stared at her. "Seriously Rae, what has gotten into you today?! What's so funny?"

Her eyes darted behind me once again, but this time she nodded. I didnt even have a chance to turn around to see what she was looking at before an arm snaking over my shoulder, placing a styrofoam cup in front of me.

"You can call me Daddy if you feel the need to, but I prefer Ashton on a first date," a voice said.

I closed my eyes tightly, slowly opening them as panic filled me. My eyes traveled from the coffee, up to a bare forearm dusted in dark golden hair, to a shoulder and chest that had a white button shirt...sleeves rolled back.

Damn, but did Rae tell him how to dress?

He smirked at my dazed expression, while Rae finally got herself under control. "I didnt tell him," she rasped out, still trying to hide the amusement as she spoke. " He really was randomly dressed like that to come here."

Ashton raised a brow as he pulled up a chair, leaning over to give Rae a quick one-armed hug before sitting on the chair backwards between us.

He reached over, palm up while smiling at me. "She did however, demand that I randomly walk in and order you a vanilla butterscotch coffee without even telling me your name, or why I was buying you one. I'm being set up on a date, I take it?" He questioned again, glancing to Rae for affirmation before looking back at me, then down to his still extended hand. "Do I get a name? Or should I introduce myself again?"

I shook my head, trying to snap out of the surreal experience going on. Placing my hand in his, I cleared my throat. "You're Daddy, right?" I smirked, trying to fight the blush rising on my face. God, but do I hope he can take the joke.

His face split into a grin, laugh bursting out of his lips. "I like her," he chuckled, looking over to Rae. " This one actually knows what a joke is."

I grinned at that as he looked back at me. "I take it that Rae has tried setting you up before as well?" I questioned.

He nodded, a faint smile still gracing his lips. "One girl who decided living in her car way her dream goal. One who only ate foods that were yellow. And one who wanted to be a psychologist because she didnt understand how people laughed or why we smile at things."

My eyes went wide. "Wow. And here I thought I had it bad with the guy who only showered on days it rained cause that's how the bathtub got refilled."

Ashton let out another bark of laughter, breaking eye contact to speak to Rae once again. " You suck at setting people up. You know that?"

She raised a brow at that, stopping her cup of coffee in mid air before she could take a sip. "Oh, so should I not have introduced the two of you?" She asked, feigning a look of hurt. "And here I thought you were getting along fairly well."

Ashton shook his head. "Are you kidding me? this girl is horrible! Wont tell me her name, wont call me by mine, and she laughs at everything I say!" He rambled out. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but he didnt stop looking at her.

"And he isnt the greatest catch either, " I added. "Eavesdropped a private conversation, assumed I wanted him to pay for something. I didn't ask for without asking me. And he wont let me go," I added, flicking my gaze down to our still entwined hands.

Rae nodded, a huge, fake sight escaping past her parted lips. " okay, I give up. Sorry to waste your time, Ash. I'll take her home and be back in a few minutes to catch up with you all. I assume the others are on the way?" She asked, standing up and motioning for me to follow.

Ashton shook his head. " They are on the way. But you cant take her."

Without warning, he turned and licked a wet line up my jaw. "I licked her. Shes mine now."

My jaw dropped open, but rae looked amused. "Are you gunna pee on her too?"

He turned to look at me finally, slightly swaying our hands back and forth. "Is that your kink?"

"What?! No! Why would you ask that?!"

He shrugged. "Well, I know you have a Daddy kink, just had to be sure."

"I do NOT have a Daddy kink!" I hissed out, trying to pull my hand out from his grasp. "And why the hell did you lick me?"

He was having none of it. Keeping hold of my hand, he slowly brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand before finally releasing his hold. "Cause I wanted to see what you tasted like. Vanilla, I like it." He winked.

"You do have a daddy kink," Rae interjected, laughing through her words. "I'm going to go get another coffee and grab 2 other tables for the guys. You two enjoy yourselves."

Ashton glanced at me before looking at Rae. "If I did that, we would be arrested and barred from this shop."

I think my heart stopped. Was I breathing?

"Mind if I go grab myself a drink?"

I blinked, trying to focus on his face once again. "Didn't you just order one while you were up there?"

He shook his head. "Only ordered yours. I wasnt sure if I wanted to stay once she told me she had a girl with her for me to meet."

"And now you are sure you want to stay?" I questioned.

He smiled. A sweet smile that lit up his eyes. "I think you are fucking perfect."

I blushed at that. "Yeah, right. Cause messy girl with raccoon eyes in your kink, right?"

He gave me an amusing look. "Like a guy in jeans and a white shirt is yours?" He retorted. A small sigh left his lips as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through a few messages. Once he found what he was looking for, he stopped and put the phone down on the table in front of me.

Raelyn- her fantasy sounds like you, in a white button down and a pair of worn out skinny Jean's. Just get your asses here!

Ash-and you are so sure I would like her? I sisnt agree to another date with your wacky high maintenance friends. They just want a sugar daddy.

Raelyn- shes sitting here in pajamas, messy hair, and yesterdays makeup. And she insists on buying our coffees every week. Still wanna pass her up?

Ash- ....be there in 5.

Raelyn- get her a butterscotch vanilla iced coffee.

Ash- thought she didnt want people to buy her shit?

Raelyn- then get it for me.

Ash- do I have to buy flowers or anything?

Raelyn- only if you want her to hit you with them.

Ash- I like her already.

I glanced up at Ashton, a small smile gracing my face. "So I guess it's my turn to buy you a coffee?"

He shrugged, swinging his leg back over the chair to sit down backwards on it once again. "If you insist. Pick whatever you think I would like."

I grinned this time. " whipped cream, cherries, and handcuffs?" I joked.

He beamed at me. "Nah, that's the second date. And woulsnt you know it....you already know what to call me then," he teased.

I laughed, walking away to get him a drink. I slid up alongside Rae, elbowing her in the side gently. "Are the other three coming?"

She smiled at me. "Yeah, be here any minute."

The barista asked up for our orders, while I pushed Rae's card back towards her. "I got them."

"That's 7 drinks you are paying for today," she reminded me.

"Glad your good at math," I remarked. "You can get the next round. And if they like me as a friend and we hang out in the future we can all take turns. If not, then I get to say that they are forever indebted to me. Win-win I say."

She shrugged, but didnt argue. "Fair play, that. I'll go shove the tables together and be back to help you carry them all."

But it wasnt her who came back over when the order was ready. It was Michael.

"HI," he practically yelled, squeezing me in a tight bear hug. "I'm Michael. Or Mike. Whatever."

"You seem overly happy to meet a stranger, " I laughed out, hugging him back just as tight before letting go.

"You made ashton happy," he shrugged, a huge smile on his face. "Anyone who can make his smile in the first few minutes of meeting him...especially lately, deserves to be treated like the fucking queen they are."

My brows shot up at that. "I'm a queen now. High praise. Does that make you the court jester?" I asked, handing him a cardboard tray with 4 drinks in it.

He grinned. "Sure. Anything else you wish me to carry, m'lady?"

I laughed and gave a curtsey. "Not at this time, good sir. Go forth and conquer the bistro que!"

Michael laughed, draping an arm across my shoulder while walking back to the now full tables. He set his 4 drinks down, then took one out of my hand and gave it to Rae before distributing the 4 he had.

"They're marked, and we all drink the same shit every time we go out," he explained. "The one you have is the only one I dont recognize so I assumed it is yours."

I shook my head and resumed my seat next to Ashton, with Luke next to me on the other side now. Michael and Calum were sat across from me. "Its for Ashton actually. He bought me my coffee and forgot to get his own."

"Trying to ditch her," Calum asked.

"Nope." Ashton stated. Simple. Direct. One word.

"Finally found a girl that will put up with your crazy-ass for longer than 10 minutes?" Like remarked.

"Gunna marry this one, mate," Ashton laughed out.

"Shit, you move fast," Michael snorted. "And here I was being engaged for over a year already. What am I doing wrong?"

"You actually asked your fiancee," Luke answered. "Ashton will just be standing in front of the magistrate with a blowup doll."

Everyone laughed, including me Ashton fake pouted, poking me in the side before lacing his fingers through mine. My heart gave a little flitter, but I didnt pull away.

"Come on, Love, you're supposed to defend our relationship!"

I chuckled. "Yes sir. Would you like to get married now, sir? I think I still have my old bicycle pump in my garage if you need it. And some duct tape in case your fiancee gets a hole."

He threw his head back and laughed, tightening his grip on my hand. Not hard, but in acknowledgment that it was a good laugh. "Fuck the lot of you."

"Damn, already cheating on me. And with three other men no less," I crooned, pouting my lips.

That caused another round of laughter.

"I think I'm in love with your girlfriend, " Calum huffed out. "She knows how to give back shit we dish out."

"Dont be hitting on my wife," Ashton fake growled. "I worked hard on this relationship!"

"Oh yeah? What's her name?" Rae jumped in, bemused laughter lacing each word.

A slow silence fell across the table, followed by abrupt laughter for everyone.

"Oh. My. God. You didnt even ask her what her name is yet?!" Michael bellowed, tears forming in his eyes. "I can see it now. The priest standing there like do you take this girl for your wife? And you being like, who's that?"

"Fuck all of you," Ashton gasped out through laughter again. "I'm gunna marry her one day and then shes gunna kick your asses for making fun of me."

I grinned, reaching over to poke my finger into his dimple. "Yeah? I'll kick their asses for you if you ask, darling." I agreed. "Just as soon as you get my attention and ask me. Oooh, right. You can't. Dont know my name," I beamed.

He threw back his head and chuckled. "Fuck you too, sweetheart," he remarked, leaning over to place a quick kiss to my cheek.

"Only if you scream my name out while you do," I joked.

"Fuck, but do I love a smart mouth," he agreed.

The conversation flowed easily. Two more rounds of drinks were bought over the course of a few hours, until the cafe was getting ready to close.

We all agreed to meet up next weekend, have enjoyed each others company and realizing the six of us were going to be amazing friends.

"Can we bring our girls next week?" Luke asked.

"Hell yeah " I agreed readily. "Me and Rae need all the help we can get against you four."

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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 5 years

Text

K-Pop life lessons (2 year old blog anniverary project)

I believe that music is something that can bring people together. I believe that the musicians we listen too and the things they create can teach us things. This goes for every genre, not just K-Pop. But there is a stigma around K-Pop of it just being men and women dancing around singing about ice cream, rainbows and happiness. It can be that, but it can be incredibly meaningfull and the artists teach us things.

Here are some things I have learned:

Monsta X , BTOB and Seventeen taught me that family isn’t just blood, it can go further than that. Your friends can become your family.

SHINee and VIXX taught me that it’s perfectly fine to go against the grain of what others do. As long as you stay yourself.

Day6 taught me that it’s okay to feel alone sometimes, but in the end you are never truly alone.

Sistar, Girl’s Generation, AOA, Mamamoo etc have taught me that it’s okay to be confident and speak my mind when I feel like I am being done wrong.

Here are some life lessons that other Kpop fans have chosen to share with me

“stray kids taught me that it's perfectly okay to be sad, depressed, or have anxiety because there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and so there's so many people just like me”

-@lysss-xo

“Super Junior taught me how to smile and laugh again after I had spent so much time barley going through the motions.”

-signed, A Shy Male ELF.

“VIXX and BTS taught me that even when you might feel down and think that nothing matters, eventually everything is going to get better.”

- @michelleherrera16

“Day6 taught me that’s it’s okay to go at my own pace and everyone can feel lonely and thats okay Stray Kids thought me that everyone feels lost at some point and going into adulthood is scary and longing to go back to the easier days is normal”

-@its-simply-me19

“BTS taught me that I can't always think about everyone else, I'm young and I have my own dreams to go after. If I need it, I'll take the time to sort my sht out. That's thanks to SUGA's 'Nevermind'. Mikrokosmos made me realize I have a reason for being here right now, and my existence does matter. These two songs had lyrics that pulled me out of suicidal thoughts i'd been dealing with for 6 years. It’s so weird that certain lyrics had that effect on me. Although I still have depression and social anxiety, I’m slowly getting over it. I’m finding myself.”

-@moonkiddionysus17

“This is pretty basic, but BTS and Got7’s Jackson are teaching me to love myself since I hate myself to my core. It’s a long road but I know I’ll get there eventually ❤️⭐️”

-@broken-scene-queens

“I know this isnt strictly what you asked butVixx and esp, Hakyeon inspire me. I see him being a leader and helping his members, vlogging, serving his country, moving out, spending time with friends and family, doing charity work in a very super low key way, being kind, gracious and just a lovely human being and it reminds me that's what I need to be. I want to inspire and carry myself with the level of maturity and grace he has.”

-anon

“Wanna One taught me the right way to life with memories, to not get stuck in the past holding onto memories crying because they're not coming back, instead I've learned to treasure memories and see them as something beautiful without pain, but with a smile on my face.”

-Anon

“VIXX and BTS showed me that there is nothing wrong with being sexually dominant and identifying as a woman -- their subby concepts gave me metaphorical wings. (my name is Coral but I don't have a tumblr I just check yours sorry)”

-Anon

“Monsta x and Dreamcatcher taught me to never give up on your dreams, no matter what anyone says, the amount of pain and heatbreak, or how long it takes. Dreamcatcher specifically taught me that it is okay to start over if what you were doing in your life did not turn out to be what you wanted. Sometimes it takes a little more time to figure yourself out before you are happy. ( Their story of how they went from Minx to Dreamcatcher really inspires me)”

-@brieflycraftycollectoruniverse

“N.flying taught me that it’s okay to be weird, out of the box, and different. Taught me how to accept my weird personality and find others that accepted it as well.”

-anon

“So for me, it was VIXX. They were my first group and they came into my life at the right time. I had hit an all time low with my depression. 'Error' distracted me from the bad in the world and it was through them that I learned that there was still beauty in the world. Their lyrics inspired and Ravi in particularly inspired with his own struggles and his outlooks on life. I don't think I would be here or at least as happy as as stable as I am if it wasn't for them.”

-Anon

“A lot of the groups have fought me the families don’t end in blood, that you can make your own if needed, mainly 17 and Victon”

-🦋 anon

“iKON, EXO, and Monsta X taught me what a real family looks like, and how to support my fam through thick and thin. The most important lesson is that family doesn't end with blood, and sometimes it doesn't even start with blood. After all, the blood from a pact with your real family will always be thicker than the water of the womb.”

-@wynnewriteshq

“Red Velvet didn't really teach me much, but they gave me a reason to smile. Wendy said this on VLIVE a little after RV's 5th anniversary: "I will always be there for you, I will be there even when you leave because you can always come back to me." (paraphrasing) It made me cry a little on the inside because I found them the summer before I started high school. It was really rough but I had their music to make me happy.”

-Anon

“Tbh I got into kpop at a crazy time I'm a young mom and I felt so out of touch with who I am. It was more than one group, but the combination of "fun thing for me " and BTS had just started the love yourself series... it meant the world to me to remind myself that the me that exists under "mom" was worth love too.”

-Anon

“Got7 taught me that it's okay to have fun while chasing your dreams and ambitions. You're not doing anything wrong while having fun cause you're still on the path you wanna go. Even if there are people that don't believe in your dreams remember that you're doing for yourself, not for them. Do what makes you happy.”

-@ahgasedaa-mark

“Blackpink taught me to be the badass woman i am today. I think without them i would still be in my shell of depression and fear. Got7 didnt teach me anything they saved my life. Their music calms me and makes me feel loved with saying how beautiful, amazing, and perfect you are in their lyrics. I know it may sound cliche but their music has helped me a lot feel beautiful and good about myself. Bts did the same. both got7 and bts had taught me that i deserve better. They became my safe space when i have panic attack. They both helped me get me out of sexually abusive relationship and helped me gain the friends i have today. I have great friends that arent toxic and a closer relationship with my mom. I even met my boyfriend because without got7 and bts words i would have never gotten out of my house, get on dating sights, and go to japan. They have helped me immensely when i used to be shut in.”

-@kpopluvwriter

“RM of BTS reminded me that I love writing poetry to express the things I can't tell anyone. TOP of BIGBANG showed me that someone with anxiety issues can still do anything. Most of all, most of the groups I love have given me a community I can trust with more than just Kpop stuff- I feel safe telling fellow Kpop stans that I'm trans and nonbinary because I've seen such a supportive and loving community here.”

-Anon

“Kpop fan culture has taught me that you will always have a friend if you need one. Also that if someone is in distress another WILL come to help. Stray Kids, Bts, Seventeen etc.: have taught me that it’s okay to love myself and that if they love me I should love myself too.”

-@skylarrae168

“Stray kids taught me to never give up no matter how long it's going to take, it's okay to take your time and that no matter what I'm going through everything is going to be okay. Bts taught me that's it's okay to not have a dream and to just do whatever makes me happy and they also taught me how to be myself...like I should be always be myself and that there is nothing 'wrong' with me...if that make sense”

-@paigsa

“Kpop has taught me a lot of things subtly over the past couple years. But the ones I can really pick out are that. It taught me how not to give up on life when things get tough but just step back. It taught me how and when to cut out toxic people from my life. It taught me that I can still do so much despite my mental health and that my mental illnesses don't define me. It's also inspired me to start drawing again after a long bout of art block.”

-@z-stitch

“Kpop as a whole has taught me to be myself, to live more creatively and not to hide anymore.”

-@harmonal

Alot of these brought me to tears and I am so glad you all decided to participate in this and I really appreciate it. Please stick with me for the years to come ♥

#ithinkilikeit-reaction blog project #apink #bts #blackpink #day6 #stray kids #exo #mamamoo #sistar #exid #clc #kpop #btob #seventeen #got7 #vixx #shinee

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yellowbluemoonshine · 5 years

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BNHA Foils

I would like to talk about parallels between the characters like if this hadnt happen to him, he would be someone like him. I will just give a few examples about it. But i didnt write too much details so maybe, in the future i can fix it or write better. Well. Lets start.

a-) Darker Foils:

I noticed something about darker foil and that darker foil is not villain foil. its different.

1-) Bakugou and Endeavour:

Ok. Between these characters, who are the darker one?

Endeavour.

These characters have a lot of commons between them. Both of them wanted to be top heroes, they were both ambitious and violence. They both are kind of hero who care about winning, valued invidual strength more than saving victims.

Endeavour couldnt reach his dream to become No. 1 hero and cause of it, he was blinded by his ambition that he ruined/abused his family.

Bakugou is a spoiled kid who abused/bullied (whatever you called) his quirkless classmate. He is still a young kid and unlike Endeavour, he had a chance to change, before becoming someone like him.

Point is Bakugou would become Endeavour, if he hadnt have a chance to change. Endeavour is there to show that what kind of person Bakugou could’ve become, if he doesnt change.

Now, are they completely same? No. I think Bakugou wasnt just lucky about have a chance to change but he was also lucky about a lot of things.

Bakugou was praised his entire life. Thats why he became Bakugou, he was born with strong quirk that allows him to do whatever he wants but Endeavour worked hard for his place. His quirk wasnt perfect or he wasnt praised like Bakugou was. I am not saying that Bakugou didnt work hard or something. Of course he also worked hard but he was luckier than Endeavour about this cause Endeavour suffered cause of his quirk and other things.

Not just this, also Bakugou faced the fact that he cant continue like this, before Endeavour did. Bakugou learnt what happenned to Shouto or he had Allmight and Aizawa and most importantly Deku was there, besides by him but for Endeavour, probably he hasnt these kind of things before.

Shortly, what i am saying is;

Endeavour is not the darkest version of Bakugou. Endeavour is Bakugou s future, if he doesnt change. (Well, he is changing. Thats why his future will be different probably.) But also, Endeavour is unluckier version of Bakugou.

2-) Kouta and Koutaro:

Koutaro was Kouta s future, if Deku wasnt there for him. Thats why, its not “darkest” or “villain” foil, its DARKER foil.

They also have parallels. Kouta s parents were heroes and they died cause of it. Kouta was too young to understand this case cause he felt like his parents left him. his parent chose other people over him. Thats was what he thought, until Deku came.

About Koutaro, he is also just like Kota. He lost his parents cause of “hero jobs” and they both were traumatized by it. He was young too but like i said before, Koutaro was unluckier compared to Kouta. He hadnt have an aunt besides him and Nana was abandoned him, unlike Kouta s parents who had no idea they will die that day. ( Maybe Nana knew that too but in Koutaro s mind, its different.) And not just that, Koutaro had a foster family and who knows what happenned to him. So basically Kota s conditions was way better, compared to Koutaro s case.

3-) Eri and Shigaraki:

They both accidently killed their father. They both believed that they are only exist to destruction. They were both manipulated by villain father figure who only sees them as a tools but the only difference between Eri and Shigaraki wasnt just the fact that Eri was saved;

but also, the way of they were manipulated was different. Eri was meant to be only tool, someone who cant do anything, helpless by Overhaul. Overhaul gave her fear while Shigaraki was meant to be villain who has to destroy things even when his abuser All For One wasnt around.

Eri was victim and she knew that. Thats why, she tried to escape and thats how she met with Mirio and Deku. But Shigaraki has no idea that he is victim. The way of All For One manipulated him made him think that he is not a victim but someone who only exist to destruction. Eri was luckier compared to Shigaraki.

Shigaraki was Eri s future, if she wasnt saved by Deku and Mirio but point is Eri s darker foil Shigaraki isnt completely same as her. Shigaraki watched his family s death completely brutally but about Eri, it was just his father s disappearance. Of course, its also terrifrying too but there is a big difference between watching disintegration of your family and your father s suddenly disappearance .

Shortly, about darker foils:

Even if they werent saved or hadnt have a chance to change; Bakugou wouldnt become Endeavour, Kouta wouldnt become Koutaro, Eri wouldnt become Shigaraki. Not because they are better person, the reason is they were already LUCKIER, compared to their darker foils. Their life conditions were way better than their darker foils and also they were saved thats why fortunately they didnt become their darker foils but also let me remind this; the only difference between them is basically luck.

b-) Darkest/Villain/Parallel Foils:

In bnha, there are two sides of hero society. Light side, dark side. About “villain foils”, i didnt mean to say “evil version” of characters. More like, character s having different kind of life version.

1-) Midoriya and Shigaraki:

Midoriya is from light side of hero society. He is kind kid who wants to become a hero only to help them. Pure heroic hearth. Same as Tenko (Shigaraki.)

Midoriya and Tenko s origins are same but in the end, one of them become a hero, one of them become a villain. What happenned to Midoriya that hadnt happen to Shigaraki or What didnt happen to Midoriya that happen to Shigaraki.

It’s not just about meeting with Allmight or All For One.

If Deku hadnt met Allmight, it doesnt mean that he would become a villain. Deku had a mother like lovely Inko besides him. Deku grown up and met with other people. Even though he was quirkless and was abused/bullied, he wasnt completely outsider of hero society. He was still part of light side of hero society. Maybe his dream to become a hero wouldnt come true but that wouldnt turn Deku to villain.

In Shigaraki s case, he was abused by his father and watched disintegration of his family when he was just 5. He was ignored by people who could’ve helped him. Even if it wasnt Allmight, there was just one person to save him, he would be ok. But then All For One came and manipulated and abused him his entire life. Shigaraki didnt go to school like Deku did. He was completely outsider of hero society and only person who “save him” taught he has to kill, if he doesnt want to suffer, his entire life. And a lot of/ countless tragic things happenned to Shigaraki. Its completely different.

So basically only difference is they were just born in different sides of hero society. Deku could’ve become someone like Shigaraki while Shigaraki could’ve become someone like Deku. If same tragic things happenned to Deku, Deku would become Shigaraki. If all these tragic things didnt happen to Shigaraki, he would become Deku.

Shigaraki isnt Deku s future cause their entire lives were different but their hearth, the kind of person they were meant to be is same. Shigaraki is probably Deku s darkest foil but it doesnt mean that Shigaraki is irredeemable cause people dont become completely different person, just because something bad happenned to them. What makes us, us is the choices we made when choices are given to us. And Shigaraki always chose to care about people around him when choices are given to him. He is still same person. He is not the evil version of Deku. Shigaraki is just Deku who has a completely tragic life.

(Well, of course there are some diversities between them but thats not the point here. Point is they are same kind of person, similar people. I think parallel characters are there to show that what kind of person this character would become, if circumtances changed. To turn a kind person like Deku to a villain, you have to give him all tragic things including maniputive father figure but still, in the end you cant destroy his true self (a person s true self). In the end, he is just who he is, even when he was broken. Well, its actually very harder than its seems though.)

2-) Uraraka and Toga:

Unlike Deku, Uraraka didnt become a hero cause of justice. She became a hero for more selfish reasons. She was coming from a poor family that support her no matter what. She hadnt got a siblings and she became a hero to support her lovely family.

Unlike Shigaraki, Toga didnt become a villain cause of the unfair hero society. She became a villain for her selfish reasons. She was coming from a rich family that rejected all she has. She had a siblings and in the end, she became a villain to abandon her family, to run away from her old life.

Uraraka and Toga could become each others. If Uraraka was born with a weird quirk like Toga had and if her family was like Toga s family, then Uraraka would also be just like Toga. Same for Toga. If she wasnt born with that kind of quirk and only her parents were supportive just like Uraraka s, Toga probably would be just like Uraraka. I am not sure that we can say “Toga is Uraraka s darkest foil” maybe if more tragic things happenned to her, she would be darker. So basically not “darkest foil” but something like “same character, different lifes” cause the parallels between them is undeniably there.

Toga isnt Uraraka s future cause their entire lives were different but the kind of person they were meant to be is same. They both also supportive characters for main characters.

Uraraka started to change after meeting Deku. She started to becoming a true hero too. Same for Toga. After meeting Shigaraki, Toga started to being less self centered and she is also becoming someone who fights against to unfair society.

So shortly about parallel foils;

its like “same character, different lives” so again the difference between them is luck.

PARALLELS

I wanted to talk about the difference between darker foils and villain/darkest foils. There might be different kind of foils though. But for now, thats it. Also i wanted to explain with a little more detailed version cause some people keep saying “they are just villains, they are irredemable” or other things but if you look at these details, i think its unfair to think like that and i dont think its true. Well, i just wanted to explain this subject.

(Thanks for reading it. Sorry for bad english. I hope, i explained it well. ^^.)

#parallels #bnha analysis #mine

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thequeenb · 5 years

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Precious memories (part 1)

Pairings: KamilahxMC

Author's note: English isnt my first language so excuse my mistakes

Plot: Kamilah lived 2063 years and thought she lived a full life until Amy died and felt the most empty she had ever been.

Kamilah walked into her penthouse letting her coat on the chair. She immediately headed for the cabinet to grab any alcohol that she had.

Since Amy's death she feels empty..like nothing could ever fill the void in her heart.

She went to her rooftop watching the night sky full of starts.

"Oh you are taking your clothes off! Thats a thing you are doing" Amy's eyes went wide.

"Should i swim with my suit?" Kamilah teased knowing well the girl stared at her as she entered the pool "care to join me?" Amy felt her cheeks on fire but didnt had second thoughts. She took her clothes off and entered the pool hoovering next to kamilah looking at the sky. She noticed the vamprire was lost in thought but was hesitant to ask why "peny for your thoughts?" Kamilah stand up looking at the girl Infront of her. In her 2063 years she haven't seen any woman like her. She knew she had something special but was afraid to be forward "how old are you? 21?" "Actually 22" the girl answered. "Have you ever been in love Amy?" Amy was surprised and didnt knew how to react. "Oh well..i dont know what love is so i prefer use the term "like" instead of love. I liked a girl back in college but things didnt work out well for us" Kamilah was lost in thought again "oh i see"

"And why do you ask?" Amy asked curiously. "Nothing..its just fascinating how humans live for a sort time and have high ambitions" "Thanks for reminding me my days are numbered?" Kamilah chuckled and got out from the pool giving a towel to the girl. They sat on the edge of the pool sharing an comfortable silence as they watched the stars until Amy spoke "i really enjoy watching the sky i like to think they are little dots of hope" Kamilah had her eyes fixed on the girl as she tilted her head arms crossed "you are highly ambitious aren't you?" Amy didnt respond instead she leaned in and kissed the vamprire. She felt an electric feeling down her body. It was like kissing a goddess. "I am sorry i di--" "Dont" Kamilah leaned again kissing her more passionately.

Kamilah shook her head. Her eyes were wet. She missed her human more than anything.. after that night that Amy had the car accident she couldn't sleep well. Some nights she spent them on the cemetery sitting on Amy's grave and watching stars.

It was 3:00am on the clock as Kamilah put her documents down. She tried several times to burry herself to work so she could not focus on Amy. But it was impossible. Everywhere she went everywhere she looked the girl's presence was always there.

"Hey kamilah i didnt mean to bother" Amy says as she walks inside the office. Kamilah was typing in her laptop and slowly stopped as she heard the familiar sweet voice. "Hello Amy" she said as she offered her a welcoming look. "Whats the occasion?" "Oh Adrian just wanted me to give you these um" She trailed off as she watched the vamprire get up towards her. She swallowed thickly and she caught herself stare at her exposed skin "documents" she continued after a long pause. Kamilah knew the girl was head over the hills for her but she also knew she couldn't get attached to a human. They are fragile. A bad move a car accident a heart attack were common for humans to experience and after so much loss in her life Kamilah didnt let herself get attached. She approached and took the documents out of Amy's hand. As their hands brushed against eachother they both felt this electric feeling.

She signed as she got off form her chair and approached the window. "I am sorry i let you get hurt Amy.." tears threatened to escape her eyes

"Kami?" The blonde said as she cuddled Kamilah. "Yes my little firefly". Amy looked at her directly in her eyes in an adoring way "i want to cherish every moment with you" tears ran down her cheeks "please dont let anything happen to me" Kamilah was shocked to these words but promised she would keep her safe.

"Damn it i couldn't protect you!" She said as she kicked the chair next to her. She ran her hand over her forehead and headed for the door. She didnt want to go to her penthouse. It was filled with to many memories. She decided to visit Amy's grave. The stars were sparkling more tonight and wanted to share a moment with her past lover.

As she was driving she opened the radio and to her surprise Amy's favourite song was playing:

Dear lord when i get to heaven please let me bring my man

When he comes tell me that you let him in

Father tell me if you can

Kamilah quickly turned the radio off. She couldn't bear more pain maybe its a sign "what are you thinking Kamilah no" she schooled herself she didn't want to hope anymore. It hurts more when you expect things and they never happen.

She arrived to the cemetery and parked her car. With a deep breath she approached Amy's grave and sat next to it as she looked at the sky.

"If you were here you would love tonight's sky" she placed a hand over the grave and continued "i saw the sky more than million times but it feels different since you are gone" What hurt Kamilah the most was that she never had a chance to say these 3 damn words she was to stubborn to say. She heard footsteps near but ignored its probably someone who visited just like her. Just below a whisper she said with tears in her eyes "i love you Amy" a familiar voice brought Kamilah to reality she turned around shocked "I love you too Kamilah" Amy was standing there under the moonlight flesh and blood, alive. No it cant be i am dreaming Kamilah said to herself.

#choices kamilah #kamilah sayeed #bb kamilah #kamilah is my queen #kamilah x mc #bloodbound #Amy x kamilah #choices #pb choices #choices you play

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d2myg · 5 years

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50 questions tag

tagged by @rysiowate thank u darling!

1. What takes up too much of your time? my hyperfixations and constantly updating all my online accounts and personas

2. What makes your day better? when i feel like ive accomplished something in a day; also, getting to go to bed after a long day

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? i made really good tofu fried rice

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? the shire. just wanna live in a tiny hobbit house and eat and read

5. Are you good at giving advice? depends what it is about. and also, im better at getting my points across via text, so im useless at advice irl

6. Do you have any mental illness? anxiety and depression, im pretty i have some kind of executive dysfunction and maybe dependent personality disorder, but these two are just my assumptions. who knows really im broke and too anxious to go a therapist to get diagnosed lmao

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no thank god it sounds terrifying

8. What musician inspired you the most? even though i’m not an active stan anymore i’m gonna say bts because they’re the artists i’ve stanned the longest for and grew most attached to. i think they helped me develop as a person and they’ve been there for me in tough times. but also queen, because in freddie mercury i found a queer icon and role model which is very important for me

9. Have you ever fallen in love? i thought i was in love once but looking back, maybe not

10. What’s your dream date? i think this dream date business is bullshit. as long as im with the person i like, we could be doing literally anything and id still be like yeah this is a good day. like running errands or going grocery shopping or just lying in bed.

11. What do others notice about you?

idk probably my self-deprecating humour. also i if im wearing makeup that almost always gets commented on so i guess that

12. What is an annoying habit you have? just one? lmao uhhh when im super anxious about something i just shut off and like i cant function until that thing is resolved. my brain is just like ok anxiety time lets lay in bed and cry and nap for the rest of the day. also when im not in the mood to reply to someone’s text i will literally go days without replying not bc i forgot but bc i just.. yeah

13. Do you still talk to your first love? sometimes i check up on her (on her social media) but no we havent talked for almost a year since it ended. but then, was she really my first love. idk.

14. How many exes do you have? one

15. How many songs are in your playlist? i have multiple playlists and i also follow a lot of playlists; all together there must be at least 1k

16. What instruments can you play? acoustic guitar

17. What do you have the most pictures of? travelling, i have folders of pictures since last year that i havent edited yet

18. Where would you like to go before you die? hm. everywhere i havent been yet. id really like to go to canada, also like everywhere in asia

19. What is your zodiac? scorpio

20. Do you relate to it? idk i dont really read horoscopes and idk the like scorpio personality traits or whatever

21. What is happiness to you? being content with myself and what im doing.

22. Are you going through anything right now? final assignments of the semester :)

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? getting too attached to some people.

24. What’s your favorite store? record stores are so cool. also there’s this store in brighton that sells prints of stuff like ghibli on tshirts and tote bags. not my favourite, but i like it. i dont think i have a favourite.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? im pro-choice. i dont think it should be a debate.

26. Do you keep a bucket list? no

27. Do you have a favorite album? sheer heart attack by queen, that shit slaps

28. What do you want for your birthday? honestly not to be shallow but some coins so i can buy myself some stuff ive been wanting to buy but didnt wanna spend money on

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? idk probably that im a bitch or that im intimidating. before i open my mouth to talk. one of my best friends told me they were scared of me when we first met.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? idk i mean no one really questions my age tbh. when i was younger people thought i was older lmao cause i seemed mature or whatever

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? usually on my bed bc i sleep with earphones

32. What word do you say the most? uuuh……. like. when i talk i say like after every 3rd words its annoying

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 5-6 years probably

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? ½ years max

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? i dont talk about my career ambitions with anyone lmao it makes me anxious. my mom says i could do personal couching or psychotherapy or whatever.

36. What’s your favorite music genre? classic rock

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? sweden sounds really nice. hong kong or singapore also

38. What is your current favorite song? hm. the iron man 3 credits soundtrack. slaps. suffragette city by culture club also

39. How long have you had this blog for? uuh i remade very recently

40. What are you excited for? goin home for the summer. also rocketman and spiderman far from home. also!!! i might be going to the rocketman red carpet so

41. Are you a better talker or listener? listener. i dont really like talking about deep stuff

42. What is the last productive thing you did? did some uni work today. actually, did a lot of uni work today

43. What do you want for christmas? go to budapest with my mom weve been planning that

44. What class do you get the best grades in? my best subject in high school was english and in college it was probably psychology

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? idk 5/6

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

dude i dont even know what ill be doing next year after my ba course ok

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i dont think i really had one. when i broke up w my gf, its been shit for a while and i just accepted that it wasnt gonna work so it didnt really like hurt

48. What age do you want to get married? marriage is overrated and expensive next

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a vet also but so much med school. ew.

50. What do you crave right now? to dye my hair bc im stressed insert this is fine meme

i also tag @hamkis also @crownedbabes also @funkysapphic, @milmercurios, @freddie-jupiter, @piscesyub, @cactustattoo, @tonyrights

#anyone else can do this to just say i tagged u!#and those i tagged u dont gotta do it #eli.txt #tag game #long post

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ideocosmonaut · 6 years

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Would you rather date someone who had a car or a job? Ehh probably job.

What’s the most important part of a relationship in your opinion? Trust, perhaps?

Have you ever wanted to watch a scary movie with someone JUST to have an excuse to be close to them? Kind of

Be with someone cute and a jerk or ugly and kind? ugly and kind

Name a favorite of each: food, drink, color. Steak, Coke Zero, Gray or black

If you married rich and your spouse gave you $100,000 a week, what would you spend it on? Weekly short vacations. Maybe fly to a city every weekend and go on a shopping spree.

Name a favorite of each: book, movie, tv show. Harry Potter, Robocop, Seinfeld

If your best friend liked your ex, what would you do? I dont have an ex

if you had to choose between being blind or deaf which would you pick? Hmm. Maybe blind. I love art and music but my eyes get me into more trouble than my ears.

Name a LEAST favorite of each: food, drink, color. How boring. Onions, water, yellow

What do you spend most of your money on? Bills

What kind of underwear do you prefer wearing? Boxer briefs

If you were sat on a plane beside your favorite celebrity, what would you do? Probably nothing. Why would they want to talk to me? They’re probably really tired and just want to chill on the ride home. I mean, if I feel brave, maybe I’ll say hi and that I really love their work but that’s about it.

What would you consider to be the biggest insult to yourself? Any... insult?

What are five things you absolutely have to have in your dream house? A kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, a ceiling, walls...

If you could be reincarnated as any animal, which would you chose and why? Some kind of bird

What is your biggest pet peeve? Being wrongfully accused

Do you still watch cartoons? Sometimes

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? 80s and 90s comedies

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A cop. An astronaut

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yeah.

First concert? Flogging Molly, for a big name band. But I went to local shows in school

Tea or coffee? i like both.

Do you think you were well raised? Up until I was a teenager

How do you handle stress? not well.

Do you hide things well? Not really

If you had to choose between having one family member or 5 of your closest friends die who would you choose? I’d rather not. If I had to... family member. I’ve lost almost all of the good ones already anyway. And my friends are a precious few.

Do you see yourself ever being with someone you’ve been with before? No?

Would you rather live in a tiny apartment with 5 other people or a huge house by yourself that you felt was haunted? Huge house... if I didnt have to keep it up by myself.

How many piercings do you have? 0

Do you see yourself as a “good” person? No. No one is really good or bad. People are people. Everyone has their own ambitions. And a basic desire. People change all the time, nothing is set in stone.

Are your nails painted a dark or light color? N/a

Have you ever order pizza online? yes

What color was the last candle you lit? Cream?

Is there something written on your shirt right now? No

Is there a bookshelf in your room? no.

Do you own a treadmill? nope.

Have you ever signed up for a gym membership? yes.

What color was the last fish you had? Orangey

Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? Nah

Have you ever read in the bathtub? No

If you play the sims, do you download custom clothes, hair, etc? I imagine I would

Have you ever put ice cubes in milk? no.

Does your animal sleep with you? N/a

What do you use to remove your makeup at night? N/a

Do you have a favorite TV show that actually isn’t on air anymore Umm maybe. I think most of my favorites are still alive somewhere in TV land

Have you ever bought something off of iTunes? i don’t think so.

Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? nope.

Do you know how many pages the last book you read had? nope.

What day of the week does the laundry usually get done? Saturday

Do you use the Facebook chat often? daily.

Do you have any baby pictures of yourself on your computer? Nah

How many favorites do you have on youtube? hundreds

What channel is the food network? i dont have cable

Do you still write in pencil? sometimes

What brand is your foundation? n/a

What kind was the last chip you ate? Uhh doritos i think

Do you eat onion rings? not often but i love them.

When did you last go to the zoo? years ago

How many cardigans do you own? 1

What is your favorite song to play on guitarhero or rockband? none

What flavor of tea did you last have? Milos

Do you own a robe? yes

What was the last video you added to your favorites on YouTube? An upload of the new Puppet Master movie

Have you ever brushed your teeth and then drank orange juice? yeah

When was the last time you had pancakes or waffles? yesterday

Do you know anyone whose birthday is today? my step-mom

If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? I wouldn't exist so I wouldn't feel anything. That’s an upside. Can you imagine how bad you’d feel if you died? It’s a mercy we dont feel anything after.

Was the last person you texted under 18? no I dont believe any of the people ive texted are under 18

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? like two

Do you like hoodies? yes.

When was the last time you attended a wedding? May?

Have you had alcohol this week? uhhhhhhhh nope actually

What windows are open on your computer right now? You mean tabs? This, FB, another Tumblr, and youtube

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? yes Is there anything you are craving right now? affection

What’s the last thing you had to eat? rice and beef

Who were the last four people to text you? my dad, my step-mom, a couple friends

Do you have any morbid interests? nothing habitual

Do you know anyone whose birthday is tomorrow? no.

What was the last thing you found that you thought you lost forever? an earbud cover

Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop for the New Year? no

If you have a Twitter, do you use something else besides the computer to update your tweets? nope

Do you like potato salad? Ive never had one I liked

Who was the last person that apologized to you? my bff. It’s funny that I say sorry a lot but I dont hear it very often. only from him. hmm.

Have you ever driven and ended up running out of gas? no

When was the last time you uploaded pictures from your camera? months ago

Did you do the laundry today? yes

What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? wasnt sleepy

Did you straighten or curl your hair last? n/a

Have you ever been off-roading? yes

Was the last number you added to your cell phone a guy’s or girl’s number? a restaurant probably

Do you enjoy being a tease? kind of. not too much.

Have you ever had a UFO sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? nope.

Who was the last person you caught lying to you? eh i dont recall

How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? umm 19 ish?

Do you have a webcam that’s built into your computer or did it come separately? n/a

Was there ever a time that you lived on an island? I am an island. Shut up, Ben Howard.

Have you ever made a time capsule? I did in school

When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass? long time ago

What was the last casino you went to? N/a

Does it flood easily where you live? kind of

Let’s start out blunt, have you had sex in the last 12 hours? nope.

Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else? no.

Does anything hurt on you? my foot

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? maybe

Do you look at the keyboard when you type? sometimes

Does it bother you when people respond to you with one word? not really

Will you be up before 7:00 a.m. tomorrow? yes, many times

Do you like MySpace? i did back when it was popular.

Do you like glitter? its ok

Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? my mom

What’s the closest thing to you that’s liquid?

my... pee?

Are your toe nails painted pink? no.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? no... I mean, i doubt it? maybe? who knows.

Are you excited for Saturday? I was until I hurt my foot

What are you listening to right now? Game Grumps

What is the most exciting place you have been to this year? Gatlinburg

The shirt you’re wearing, does anyone else have it? possibly

Are you gonna be home tonight? yes.

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you? not if it stops there

Are you easily scared at horror films? not easily

If there was a large spider in the room, what would you say? Depends on how large and what kind

Do you have good memories with old friends? of course.

How are you feeling right now? in pain

Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? oh yeah

How many friends do you have that have never smoked? a few

Is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don’t talk to anymore? yes.

Are you missing someone? yes.

Did you have a dream last night? probably, i just don’t remember it.

Is it okay if you kiss people when you’re single? of course, as long as they’re single too.

Who did you last talk to on the phone? my dad

Have you held hands with anyone today? no.

Do you drop your phone a lot? nah

Your last ex says they never even liked you. You say? You dont exist?

When was the last time you saw your father? last weekend

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? Hmm. that’s a tough one. I use humor to cope a lot but I always try to remain within certain guidelines around certain people. it’s a lot to keep up with. Me? I can laugh at almost anything. Im pretty numb to most things. It doesnt come from a place of disrespect, but a need to laugh.

Would you say you’re an understanding person? mostly.

How is your life currently? it sucks.

What are you doing tomorrow morning? sleeping

Do you want to see somebody right now? sure.

How many people have you liked in the past 8 months? just the one.

Have you ever done anything illegal? yes

Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad? mom

What’s currently bothering you? my foot. looming anxiety over possibly being fired. being totally alone.

Have you thought about an ex today? no.

Are any of your friends taller than you? yes.

Did you do anything productive today? yes.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? To relive certain things, maybe. Barry Allen taught me not to fuck with the timeline

Today, did you hug a person you have feelings for? no

Do you wish at 11:11? nah

Are you currently in a relationship? no

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? apparently they are everything

Think of the last person who said “I love you” to you. Do you think they meant it? I guess.

Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? yes.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? yes

If you could move somewhere else, would you? Depends but im mostly for it

Has a boy/girl called you babe or baby today? no.

How long were you with your last bf/gf? never

Would you ever let a girl/boy put you through hell and back? probably. im ripe for the abuse.

Have you ever gone out with anyone older than you? no

Do you think you will ever be married? probably not

Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes. that’s life

Is it possible to be single and happy? temporarily

Last time you wore something that didn’t belong to you? idk

Has anything happened in the past month that made you really happy? aside from food, not really.

What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to your ex? n/a

How much money did you spend today? $0

Are you a rude person? to people who are rude

Would you ever think about painting your ceiling your favorite color? no.

What’s something you’re excited for? Cyberpunk 2077

Does cuddling freak you out? A little. I dont like not being able to move

What do you think of maxi dresses? idk

What did the last text in your inbox say? From who? my phone’s in the other room...... >_>

What would you do if you saw a guy hit a girl? Call the police.

Have you ever gambled? yes.

Do you use tobacco products? not anymore

Would you ever go a week without showering? only if i had to

Would you ever date someone with a different skin color than you? Yeah

#survey #asks #but no one asks #so whatev

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

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here’s me talking about the month since i was last online

firstly it was/is depressing not to be able to talk with ppl or hear from them. or just to be able to talk somewhere i know people CAN hear. i also mentioned being completely detached from the news. i like to be current about the news. anyways i was like “well not like this is anything new” as its technically unusual for me to NOT be cut off both irl and from the internet. but, shockingly, that doesnt make it not depressing. and having something for even a bit makes it more frustrating to lose it even if its “normal” for you not to have it. also by depressing i mean i was going like hmm i sure am even more tired than usual and i am less interested in my few lingering faint interests. whats up with that! and then i was like oh yeah thats called Even More Depression

it is funny because im someone who has never really had that many friends and when i do we often end up separated one way or another. Very Close friends &/or Very Longtime friends are a foreign concept. basically the heights of my “what i wish it was like” for life involve having a group of friends with whom you can have fun in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night just talking and hanging out and messing around. friends that you feel comfortable being yourself around and like they appreciate you as much as you do them. i do not think this is ever going to happen, but oh well because in reality i can be very picky about people because i am weird, to put it that way for now. my social landscape and language is not always considered normal or even tolerable. and i have a lot of standards for who i want to have around me in terms of traits and personality. theres a lot of things im not interested in. anyways. i also just, in the way things actually are, often prefer to be alone, so that i can be myself and do things i feel like. i dont have to worry about being strange or feeling like i need to please people. anyways. unfortunately i dont ONLY like being alone. i actually really like to be with people and talk with them but i rarely can, and i figure this is bad for me. isolation isnt good for anyone obviously. not being able to be around friends in person depresses me. not being able to talk online either depresses me further.

i think sometimes about how much i dont say. its a funny place to say it, in an overly long text post. but one of the reasons they can be so long is because irl i dont really talk much to people. so it builds up and can come out through writing. sometimes it comes out in talking. i think that in conversations, when i do talk, i talk too much because of this. so one of the reasons i dont talk much is to prevent this, which obviously is like “well that would just cancel out” but there are other reasons i dont talk. but i have loads of thoughts and things to say. i end up keeping so much of it to myself and wonder sometimes if i’ll ever get to say some of it. sometimes i’ll have something to say and bite it back. i’ve been “quiet” all these past twenty some years of talking and i know the reasons i dont talk. i was thinking about the feeling of biting something back in an individual occasion feeling like the cumulation of all the years worth of keeping my own voice running in my head alone. it kind of feels like what you want to say is in your chest and throat and the roof of your mouth.

speaking of the roof of your mouth, theres a weird sensation i can feel sometimes, seemingly at random but mostly in strange times like trying to fall asleep. it is so transient and unlike any actual externally caused sensations that its been difficult to try to get a grasp of how to describe it, but i think i have it thanks to ongoing effort and an unusually long period of it a few days ago during which i was especially alert about it. it’s like having a pressure radiating out from inside your mouth. like an orb pushing outwards against the teeth and roof of the mouth. which i’m fairly sure isn’t anything that would ever happen, so i am assuming its some little neurological hiccup that happens to align every now and then, but maybe a previous life cycle has put something weird in their mouth. or shot into it, because i would be like, well not much has changed.

anyways. words sitting like a pressure in your mouth. i was seeing a thread about how grief is ongoing and reoccurring which also mentioned that people who specialize in knowing how grieving and living with it works often consider it to be a form of grief when someone’s life is affected by something like trauma. they have to grieve themselves because of the possibilities taken away from them. i feel that, sometimes. thinking about how i wish i had a life where i felt free to speak and where my identity mattered and i got to feel like i could be myself and it was important and it was important what i thought and wanted and who i really was. and where i got to have friends and do things and realize what it was to actually feel happy, not try to understand an unhappy existence as what must be okay. its not just what couldve been in the past, but also how that couldve affected the present and future. im not sure who i’d be if my life didnt have to be about survival and escape. i say i never had dreams, which is true, but in retrospect i DO think that when i was fifteen and really bearing down in trying to figure out what i wanted to do, i was already seeing activism as the answer, which made sense why it wouldnt register as a dream or ambition and why it was also impossible to pursue. i still dont think of anything like personal fulfillment through a career/job or anything. but i also dont think of what i want to do as very relevant to anything at all anymore.

anyways. i’m “used” to things, but they still depress and hurt me. i actually have a lot of sadness and anger about some of these things, like never getting to have the friends i wanted or never being able to speak and it not mattering who i really was, and how long it took me to realize this really wasn’t okay and it wasn’t because of some personal deficiency which made me deserve it somehow. also the abuse. i remember i had this how-to book about weaving friendship bracelets which i got sometime in elementary school, and it even supplied some twine and stuff. i had always wanted to have occasion to use it, and i never did, which is just symbolic. the twine/potential friendship bracelets can also be things like positive social connections that feel real and open, or my ability to feel secure in expressing affection because it seems mutual. but anyways. i also just go along.

i was thinking about the Being Gone For A Month thing and the not-talking and holding all my words back even though i think so much about all sorts of junk and thus have too much to say, and about a week ago i just spent like six hours writing about myself. i was debating doing so in the first place because i figured i wouldnt post it. i did write it, but i won’t post it. its just good to talk to myself in the form of writing. getting thoughts into that form requires an extra level of analysis and coherent flow that can help put even things you already knew more in order. so here’s this stuff instead.

there’s not much to say about this past month. the worst of it was that discovering my weird tooth is all janky and broken has made me on edge about teeth. i mean, i’ve already all but stopped worrying about the broke tooth, because i kind of do that sometimes when i can. just worry hard and then stop, because what can you do? might as well try to avoid stressing even worse. and in this case i dont have money and doubt i will ever have a job w dental coverage, so i cant do anything about it. but im always worried about my teeth because, fittingly, my parents dental genes seem to combine into that of a tasmanian devil. i think im in some Dental Report b/c i had this weird situation that needed basically a root canal but it wasnt the normal kind of root canal situation and the dentist said he hadn’t seen it or heard of it even. special. i was horrified about needing the root canal, because of the clichés. but it ended up being fine and i really just sat there for an hour thinking about whatever. dental procedures are truly not what theyre hyped up to be. on account of local anesthetics. anyways. when i left my parents house i was specifically worried about leaving my access to a dentist, but obviously it wouldve been far from worth it. but that doesn’t mean i dont worry about my teeth. so i had these few days where i just had a spontaneously sensitive gum spot and another one which im guessing i caused by jamming corn shards down in there by eating corn on the cob. that happened sort of last year, i got really worried about an angry-looking spot on my gums and finally realized something was just up in there that needed to be flossed out. anyhow. the point is i got overly worried about everything that always worries me even though it used to worry me even before going to the dentist and they’d say the stuff was fine actually. but still. i got

very worried for a minute there and i realized very easily that if i start getting any really serious tooth problems i am out of here. i have no motivation at all to live through it. i don’t want to have to deal with that. it’s way too much. i dont even have motivation to be alive now. but when i was worrying i was thinking about not using my handful of cash to change locations, but instead to get some fancy Dying Equipment. there are still some methods by which im not sure i could try offing myself. but if things got a lot worse, like teeth problems, i could probably lower those standards. i COULD obtain some items for one method, or by necessity do it for free. im less worried about the tooth stuff now. it was just an unfortunate convergence of a couple tiny things. but ive still got a sensitive spot or two, and im always a bit worried. if something bad happens i cant do anything about it except get tf out of this life cycle, right.

there was something else unfortunate i was going to talk about. maybe just the depression.

there were nice, small things. i always knew how to enjoy those kinds of stuff. i like the sky, and i appreciate that its summer. theres a lot of fireflies sometimes and i saw kittens chasing them one day. one of those kittens mightve gotten killed by something since. i got to hear rain on the roof a few times. i like corn on the cob even if it betrayed me. i was wanting some last summer. i also got to make sweet tea and lemonade for the first time in forever. i’d been wanting that for a long time too.

the nicest surprise was that i had been writing extra hard since the start of june. i sort of really pushed at it and got to the dividing point between the section and the next, and i was sure it was shorter than previous sections. but actually it was just over 1000 words short of being 140k, and i’d written it all in about five weeks, and it was abt 22.5% longer than the next longest section i’d written. i’ve since gotten to a point i’ve been writing towards since this whole time, and im right on the verge of another long awaited one right now. it’s nice, but writing has been fun, and i hope i dont get depressed if i hopefully do finish it. i can just write some more, but doing so on my phone isnt the most efficient. it doesnt seem sustainable.

anyways thats it for now before i can think of anything else to say am i right

#talking abt being nervous abt it has made me a bit more nervous abt it...im trying to simmer down...dont have to die just yet...But You Know #also i could.

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bloghealthinterventions · 4 years

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Episode #24 Blessings of a Nurse Practitioner

In the spirit of Thanksgiving this week, I want to take this episode to share a few of the things I am thankful for, specifically, my foundation, my career and my patients.

I have been so blessed in my life and in my career that I have no choice but to give thanks and credit where it is due. And to acknowledge the need to pay it forward. I get great joy from lifting others up and helping them to find their own success in any way I can. I also like to help others take ownership of the path that leads them to their success. You see, we all have had struggles in our lives. We all have had let downs and setbacks.

It is how you handle them that makes you who you are.

And the choices that you make help to determine the success you have in any endeavor. You know the whole half empty/half full discussion.. I like to say you make excuses/ take action. I am a supporter of the take action side. Every acton you take leads to an outcome. That outcome can be for the positive or the negative. But taking an action towards a goal or a dream or a positive gesture can never be removed. It’s a stepping stone to whatever the next step may be. You can never know it all so you just have to keep moving forward and doing the best you can.

I would like to share with you just a peek at my many blessings and how they have shaped me to be here right now, doing what I do for my colleagues and for my patients.

I was raised to be very self sufficient. I was also raised to have a heart and compassion for others in need. No matter how little we had, my father made sure that we had everything we NEEDED, no matter how many hours he had to work to get it for us. He would never see a child go cold, hungry or without a toy for Christmas. That, is where I believe my heart for the needs of others came from and my work ethic. My blessing of being uplifted was the fact that my father always said I was to be allowed ample time for reading and mind development. His wish for me was to be the best at whatever I should choose to do. My mother made many sacrifices as well and always worked hard, physical jobs. She was, is and will forever be my biggest fan. She will always believe I am the greatest at everything I do and no matter what happens in life, I will succeed. She gave me that gift of knowing what it means to be the support someone needs to have when things might get a little tougher than they’d like. So #1 I am thank for my parents, the love they gave me and the moral compass they instilled.

As I advanced in life and my career I was able to identify and appreciate every person who had ever taken the time to teach me, guide me and help me. The ones who never asked for anything in return. It was just their sincere and genuine nature to share knowledge and help someone else. They were paying it forward. I can see a lot more of that generosity as I move forward in my career and often wish I had known at those times the true impact they were having on my life, to have shown them the gratitude they deserve. Yet, I also know, being who I have become, that they knew it all along how they were helping me. They knew they didnt have to and yet they did it because they wanted to. From those who have taught me and supported me, I have learned the type of person I want to be.

Now, don’t think there haven’t been plenty who have tried just as hard to pull me down and block any success or ambition I may have. I have learned just as many lessons from that. Not all people are kind. Not all people have good intentions. It has taken me a long time to understand that and to let it go and not take it personal. Most often those people have more misery in their own lives than they will ever inject into mine. And from them, I have learned I don’t want to be that kind of person. So, #2, I am grateful for those from whom I have learned life lessons, both good and bad.

I am grateful to God for always showing me mercy and kindness and for using me to do His work. I have had many terrible things happen in my life. I have had to work hard for every advancement I have made, so don’t think I have been paved this blessed golden path to success without many lessons along the way. No matter if situations were good or bad, I kept faith and I still hold my faith that there is a reason for my existence. I have been placed in many situations that retrospectively I know only a Divine Intervention could have put me there just when I was needed. That is a very humbling realization. Through such experiences, I have become very well aware that I never know what impact I am having on a person at the time I am placed in their life, but I know that I will always do the best I can for someone . So, #3 I am grateful for my faith and my God.

With all of these lessons and the impacts they have had on my life, I move into my patients. I am grateful to and for each and every patient encounter I have had. Patients think they come to us for help and guidance, but most never give a thought about the impact they may have on us personally and professionally. I have been given the honor of holding the hand of someone as they pass and listening to their last wishes and messages for their loved ones. I have sat bedside to a patient fearing they will not survive their MI, having them come back to me every year to thank me for being there for them, when they did indeed survive. I have worked a code with dignity and respect to have the patient survive and come back to tell me they saw the whole thing and to thank me for the way they were treated, even though they were technically deceased. I have been forever altered by the loss of a teenage child that suffered in silence, hiding shame and such deep internal pain that she put a gun to her head and we couldn’t save her. There are people who suffer unnecessarily because no one cared or took the time to try to care and to try to make a difference. These lessons learned so early in my nursing career, empowered by the solid morals and values I was raised on and the mentors that lifted me up and my faith have brought me here.

I take those lessons and apply them now as I take care of my current patient population and bring lessons to my colleagues. I will forever go above and beyond in everything I do to hopefully, in some way, repay all for whom I am thankful for that have shaped my life and helped to develop me as me and the provider I am, in hopes that I am in some way making a difference for someone else. So, #3, I am am thankful for my patients that don’t realize what they do for me or who they are in m life.

As I have went through this journey in obesity management, functional medicine and even aesthetics I have been impacted by the perceivable joy I can bring into someone’s life that had been down on themselves, felt shamed by weight or just feeling hopeless to every regain health and vitality again. I am so dedicated to helping these people, that I know my career is my calling in life. In this part of the journey I have celebrated achievements like being able to lose enough weight to lay in bed instead of a recliner. I have been the one patients share their deepest secrets to as they release the thing that has for so long been the shame they manifested as an eating disorder. I get to make people smile! I get to fix relationships by restoring health to a person, which allows them to be an active apart of their life and family again. I get to be the person that lifts up another human being when they feel they are all alone in the world. I give them the tools, the insight and the power to make changes in their own lives. Often just by being present and listening, offering support based on the patients own information. I love what I do EVERY SINGLE DAY of my life. It is who I am and for that I am thankful.

I hope that you are able to take time to asses what you are thankful for in your life and in your career. Don’t underestimate the impact you have on the lives of your patients and your colleagues. Know your purpose and follow it. I wish you a very BLESSED Thanksgiving. And I thank you so much for making me a part of your life and your career.

Have a great week! May it be filled with many Health Interventions!

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dndfuckhouse · 4 years

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CuriousCat Archive

A series of Q&A’s that were sent onto the group curiouscat, now imported here for readability and easy editing :y

Q - would psalm suck toes? y/n

Psalm: When would I ev-? Actually, never mind. The answer is no, of course not.

Q - Does Amos only eat cheese...

Keva: he takes when he can get

Q - plum you ever smoke weed before just curious

Plum: NO NEVER SMOKED BEFORE

Q - Han what is your hair care routine

Han: well its less mine and more a friend of mine's... they just gave me some gooey stuff that smells real nice and told me to use it once a week!! i dont know what to do about the growing black roots tho..... :(

Q - mister finn have u ever kissed before...

Finn: T-thats a very personal question! How rude... I've done it once, of course.

Q - han, would you drink with finn again? are you two getting closer?

Han: ...its easier to get close the more drunk we get so ye....

Q - Han, whats your favourite liquor? -Finn

Han: THE FASTER IT GETS ME DRUNK THE BETTER !!!!!!

Q - Psalm, do you believe in fate?

Psalm: Fate is a very romantic notion, and in the past I probably would've said no. Right now I have no choice but to believe in it, I think.

Q - on a scale of 1 to 10 han how much did you enjoy your fight with psalm (the one from the rp channel)

Han: ONE!!!!!! IM GLAD HE ACCEPTED BUT I DIDNT FUCKING WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but ill win next time watch out psalm this tiger is OUT FOR BLOOD Psalm: :psalmface:

Q - on a scale of one to ten how much did PSALM enjoy his fight with han !

Psalm: It was enjoyable because I won, although I was hoping it'd last a bit longer. 7. :psalmface:

Q - WHATS FINNS FAVOURITE LIQUOR!!!!!!

Finn: Classy red wine!

Q - rokka what do you think about your street performance career? do u have any ambitions?!

Rokka: IT’S FUN! I enjoy watching people's amazed faces especially the children. Ambitions...? Maybe? *rokka falls into thinking man pose for a very long time*

Q - Rokka, how do you keep your fur so soft and pretty? -Finn

Rokka: ⭐STEPS TO ROKKA'S FUR CARE !!!!!! ⭐ 1) bathe in lakes! or rivers! (I personally like lakes hehe) 2) SHAKE IT DRY! shakeshakeshake (be careful of dizziness!!) 3) lick palms and smooth down ur fur. (this is the secret) 4) DONE! (congrats u have nice fur!!!!!!!)

Q - What was your first kiss like finn?

Finn: Thats a little secret between me and god.

Q - :):(

Rokka: who are you and what does this mean Psalm: It's a secret code. Why not try deciphering it?

Q - finn whats your favourite blood type? pls and thx

Finn: I'm usually not open about this, but I only consume animal blood. I dont have a favourite. Beef based strikes me as the least worst so far.

Q - psalm does it hurt to cough up smoke? how bothered are you by it?

Psalm: I wouldn't say it hurts, but it feels about as pleasant as you'd imagine coughing up smoke would feel, which is to say, not pleasant at all. It mostly just makes it hard to breath, but considering the reason it happens I'm not sure I'm allowed to complain. I'd rather not take my chances.

It does bother me though.

Q - keva, do you prefer being alone or with friends?

Keva: friends

Q - keva, whats your favourite food?

Keva: roasted quail

Q - Does plum always text in all caps? Do they do that to show all their suppressed anger

Plum: does it seem suppressed.... DOES IT SEEM SUPPRESSE

Q - plum, why did you decide to go to the ball as a guest with vinny? did you think it was better cover than being a guard?

Plum: just didnt think id be much use as a bodyguard also i wanted to dress up...

Q - to everyone: would you fuck on the first date ? 🤔

Han: i only fuck on the first date Psalm: No. Finn: What is it with these rude questions? Rokka: UHHHHHHH---? WH=HAHA WHAT? Keva: no Plum: what the fuck Cimmorro: i’ve never, but i don’t see why not if we liked each other enough. i’ve to say i’m difficult to impress on the first day gyahaha

Q - actually to everyone, whats your favourite food?

Psalm: There's a dish back in my hometown that we'd eat on holidays called “Smelt and Salt". Most travellers tend to find it salty to the point of being inedible, but I think its delicious. Finn: The servants at our residence are quite skilled, I enjoyed almost everything they make. When I was alive, I favored simple chicken breast with baked vegetables though. Rokka: Nothing can go wrong with a big ol' pot of beef and potato stew! I love soups Han: we dont get a lot of fruit way south so i was so surprised when i saw lots of it at shorewater!!!!! ITS SO SWEET AND DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! Plum: theres this stew that my whole family comes together to make for special occasions and we put a lot of roots and flowers and vegetables in it its pretty good. havent had it in a while

Q - *like a kpop interviewer* to everyone: so what would your ideal partner be like? >:3c

Han: if they can dish out as much as they can take Psalm: Someone who is fun to be around. Loyalty is nice too. Finn: Someone who can handle me and is genuinely interested in all facets of my life. Rokka: Someone who can enjoy the world with me especially nature. Accept me! P.S. Psalm, I am fun and loyal........ :pleading: Plum: uhhh... someone kind i guess Keva: (visibly uncomfortable and unwilling to answer) Cimmorro: honest and devoted. someone who is easygoing would be a nice addition.

Q - WHY DO YOU FUCKERS NEVER PUT DOWN THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT IN THIS HOUSE!! SOME OF US ARE SMALL IN SIZE AND KEEP FUCKING FALLING IN

Psalm: Not saying I'm the culprit, but you honestly could just check first. Rokka: I always try to remember to put it down! Although, I may or may not have forgotten once......................or 10 times.................................. Keva: you're tall enough to look before you sit

Q - Rokka, don't forget you owe me a drink the next time we find a tavern. - Psalm

Rokka: you got it, boss! but........can we have round 2.........please...........please.............................please.............please............................plea--[commercials cues]

Q - birthdays? birthdays?

Psalm: My birthday is on the 8th of Solstitium. Plum: 32nd of soltrice Keva: (briefly crinkles nose and doesn't answer) Han: i dont know! no one in my tribe kept track of things like that. judging by stories i think it during elfons? Rokka: hibernon, solvo 74! Cimmorro: 55th of umbrois. i’m expecting presents now that you all know!

Q - favourite season

Psalm: Aestas. It's a bit silly, but my birthday falls around this time so I've always been rather fond of it. Keva: elfons Plum: elfons Rokka: Elfons! where the grass is greenies Han: elfons... i like it when it goes from cold to warmer temperatures :) Cimmorro: rahtumna.

Q - before making a call (over sending stone or message or whatever) do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? why?

Psalm: Depending on the circumstances, yes. Rokka: No need to think when speaking. Cimmorro: depends if there are specific people i’m contacting. i generally don’t really care though.

Q - if you could be anything job-wise and nothing could hold you back, what would you want to be?

Psalm: I've never really given that much thought. I don't really make any grand plans for myself, as they tend to go awry fairly often. I think I'd enjoy writing plays...perhaps. Keva: don't know, never thought about it Rokka: I've also never thought about this <:9 Han: ah... i would like to travel again... Cimmorro: i like the way things are right now. [mumbling] if anything, i’m more worried about losing it...

Q - what would be a "perfect" day for you?

Psalm: I enjoy plays quite a bit, so if I could spend an entire day watching a good series of performances I'd be quite happy. Some good company wouldn't hurt either. (As long as they don't talk.) Keva, after thinking for so long it seems like she's not going to answer: being home with nothing important to do Plum: I JUST WANT TO GO HOME Rokka: running through a grassy land and bask in the sun (๑￫ܫ￩)

Q - when did you last sing to yourself? to someone else?

Psalm: My singing voice is rather unpleasant, so I don't do it often. Keva: a month ago? i guess? who would even keep track Rokka: I like to sing every time I bathe! rubba dub dub rubba doot doot rubba dee dee its nothing but a squeaky clean me!!!!!!!!!! Han: (flushes) it was a while back Cimmorro: i was part of the choir in my childhood. i was pretty okay! can’t say the same for the present though ahahaha

Q - what was the last dream you remember?

Psalm: I'd rather not say. Keva: (doesn't answer) Rokka: *thinking face*

Q - toilet paper over or under?

Psalm: Over? I'm not an animal. Plum: what.... the fuck is this asking Rokka: Is there a difference...?

Q - if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Plum: ...... [plum is starting to look uncomfortable] Keva: (laughs, doesn't answer) Psalm: I'm perfectly fine with how I was raised. Han: (laughs) oh, throw the whole thing out Rokka: nice answers everyone. NEXT QUESTION! :D Cimmorro: wait, hmm… not so much on the way of raising but more on a certain part of the situation, i suppose?

Q - what is your most terrible memory?

Psalm: *Looks somewhat distressed.* Plum: THIS IS MAKING ME ANGRY. IM NOT ANSWERING ANYMORE OF THESE TONIGHT. Rokka: please stop asking these questions you're making my friends upset. This is upsetting.

Q - is there something you've dreamed about doing for a long time? why haven't you done it?

Psalm: I wouldn't say for a long time, but I haven't done it because I can't. Simple as that. Keva: can't anymore Rokka: Life hands you lemons so you gotta eat them. *nods* （￣ー￣） Han: i wanted to learn singing. why... well. life doesn't work sometimes. Cimmorro: when i was a child, i dreamed of being at the top of the clergy’s hierarchy. then that immediately got crushed when i was told that only women were allowed to lead the church bahahaha! that was back then. right now i’m satisfied with my position and still have much to learn. but if the opportunity arises and i meet the requirements, i wouldn’t say no to seating as the high mother.

Q - if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Psalm: I'm torn between knowing the truth about one thing from the past, and a very selfish glimpse into the future. Keva: (doesn't answer, but seems to think about the question) Rokka: *vibrates* Han: there are so many things i want answers for, i dont think i could choose. Cimmorro: [visibly cringing as several things come to mind]

Q - of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? why?

Psalm: Lots of morbid questions here. I'll pass on this one. Keva: orin Rokka: please i'm begging you..............please stop with these questions...... Cimmorro: … [quitely glances at how the others respond instead of answering]

Q - how close and warm is your family? do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

Han: (laughter that becomes progressively louder in volume) Psalm: I quite enjoyed my childhood, but given the reactions of the others it seems I might be the only one fortunate enough to be able to say that... Keva: i liked a part of it Plum: dont know what the fuck psalm is talking about. ive had the happiest childhood a halfling could have thank you i wish i could be back home right now, actually Rokka: it had its up and downs. i mean, who doesn't!! Cimmorro: [laughs] i think mine is seen as particularly “strange” by most people, but i personally have enjoyed it regardless.

Q - how do you feel about your relationship to your primary caregiver growing up?

Psalm: At the moment, I'd say its rather complicated on my part. I'm ashamed to say why. Keva: i don't Han: *looks visibly sick for a second* ... poorly :) Plum: as in my mom and pop? i love those two Rokka: Tough love? Finn: Cold. Cimmorro: [beaming] grateful! i love em! would do anything to treat them at least even half as much as they’ve treated me.

Q - what roles do love and affection play in your life?

Psalm: I just LOVE to be AFFECTIONATE with people, so I'd say quite a large one :psalmface:. Rokka: i got to befriend han! and finn! Also, psalm it's not good to lie to the people. Finn: R-rokka I'm touched... Right now, love and affection couldn't be further removed from my life but hopefully one day, they'll play a bigger role for me. Han: (shrugs) i like having sex Cimmorro: i take pride in making sure that people who are important to me know that they are. it’s also the way they have treated me.

Q - for what in life do you feel most grateful for?

Psalm: ...Well I made it to Shorewater somehow. Rokka: meeting Han! Han: *was about to say something different but is so touched by rokka* dude......really? q_q me too dude.... Finn: My uncle. But recently I've made some good friends, I feel... Cimmorro: the goddess’ guidance.

Q - what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Psalm: I- . Hm. For now, let's say it was beating Rokka at stone, parchment, shears. Keva: i'm here Rokka: PSALM PLEASE ROUND 2 Finn: So far I have nothing to my name, but that might change soon. I pray it will.

Q - if you were to die this evening with opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? why haven't you told them yet?

Psalm: Where I hid my buried treasure. Han: i wont die. Psalm: I like that answer. Rokka: Why are you like this, anon? Finn: I'd want to talk to Orin one last time.

Q - share an embarrassing moment from your life

Psalm: I fumbled a joke I was trying to make with Finn the other day. I won't go any further into the past than that, thanks. Finn: Ah, so it was a joke? Please don't worry about it Psalm. Rokka: nearly burning my friends alive because I sneezed. :(

Q - what's your favourite weapon and why

Psalm: For reasons I won't disclose let's just say I'm not very fond of weapons, my current one in particular. :psalmface: Spells are more useful. Keva: daggers, easy to carry around and hide Rokka: I guess my scimitars? They can cut plants and meat well so i can (try to) cook! Finn: I love swords!! All swords! (he sparkles with excitement) Han: i like being close and personal with someone but also enjoy the quiet rush of hitting a target from a bow Cimmorro: i use a dagger but if i had a spear or an axe that would be kinda awesome actually.

Q - questions to fall in love here we go! 1) if you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be?

Psalm: ...I have a friend I haven't seen in a while, so I suppose I'd invite him. Keva: do they have to be alive Psalm: I was wondering the same thing. Plum: i would want to eat dinner with my whole village but if its only one person then my sister. dont really like going to dinner one on on if i can help it but maybe thats something halflings dont like because theyre not antisocial bastards Rokka: Do I HAVE to pick one? :( Finn: ... Rokka! I'd love to dine with everyone though. Han: oh, maybe aster? or ferrie chris? or uhh... (Han starts to look bashful and stops answering) Cimmorro: willow.

Q - if you all were on a boat (lmao) and it was sinking and you could only save one person from the party who would it be

Plum: rokka or finn but i wouldnt be on a fucking boat if i could help it Psalm: Plum, as they are arguably the only one I could carry. Oh, and Finn I suppose. Plum: WOW THANK YOU THOUGH YOUD PROBABLY SINK LIKE A STONE Keva: finn Finn: T-thank you all... (blushes and gets too distracted to answer) Rokka: This question is stressing me out. I'm stressed. This is stressful. Han: myself? is this trick question Cimmorro: myself so i can do this: [casts water walk] don’t worry bros i got this

Q - complete this sentence. "i wish i had someone with whom i could share..."

Psalm: I have nothing to share. Rokka: ...this drink with! (psalm, round 2 please) Finn: my fate. Han: my past, without fear

Q - what, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Psalm: I'd say death, but ha. Rokka: what roomie said Finn: I don't like jokes about my family and especially my uncle. Cimmorro: Wee Jas.

Q - when did you last cry in front of another person? by yourself?

Psalm: I haven't cried since I was a kid. Rokka: can we have more fun questions please :( Finn: I rarely ever cry. But last time I did, I was comforted by someone precious. Han: oh that was... (han becomes embarrassed) it is stupid Cimmorro: [wearily looks over where ezra is currently sitting across the room]

Q - do you have a secret hunch about how you're going to die

Plum: i wouldnt say secret but yes Psalm: Ugh. Keva: had a few, anything goes now i guess Rokka: why would you ask this? I don't like this question. :( Finn: Not just a hunch. Han: i won't die!!! what's with these questions Cimmorro: nothing in particular. i just hope that it will be by the goddess’ fates.

Q - fmk vinny cole ezra

Psalm: (What kind of agenda is this?) F - Vinny, M - Cole, K - Ezra. Keva: fuck ezra marry cole kill vinny Psalm: Ah Keva, finishing your doppelganger's job for her I see. That's a bit harsh. Keva: (lifts her hands in a halfhearted shrug) Rokka: Friend: cole, Meet: Vinny, K....klean for ezra......................... (in the periphery of the shot keva stares into the camera for the entirety of rokka's response) Han: fuck ezra marry cole kill vinny Finn: Who are these people? What is "fmk"? Cimmorro: f-vinny, m-cole, k-ezra

Q - Everyone, where would you like to visit someday?

Psalm: I'm not really one for traveling but since we seem to be headed there already, Vargonia sounds interesting. There's probably a lot to do there. Rokka: I like open land so anywhere with one? Finn: Sharrif!! If I wasn't dutybound at home I'd love to move there. Keva: never thought about it Han: oh oh oh! some guy passed the inn and said there are mountains that reach into another PLANE in sonnate!!! i wanna go there!!!!!! Cimmorro: i’d like to see the arcane well myself heehee

Q - what's your earliest memory? is this too spoilery idk i'm shooting my shot

Psalm: I'm pretty sure it was when my mother dropped me into the ocean by accident. Why I have no fear of swimming because of this has yet to reveal itself to me. Plum: i remember........ bumping into the kitchen table when i was younger and something might've been a rolling pin hitting me on the head and then fucking crying obviously and my parents swinging me around Rokka: I remember seeing a little bug flying around and chasing it all around so that I could tell them I thought they looked cute.....I was too small to reach the little bug on the tree though haha Keva: i don't remember her name Finn: Playing with my cousins, surrounded by our family. Han: being held by big, heavy hands. close to the chest. Cimmorro: falling off a cliff lol

Q - i had assumed psalms arcane power was new to him but is it actually?

Psalm: An interesting assumption. I'd love to know why you think so.

Q - PSALM ROUND 2 PLEASE - rokka

Psalm: I'll think about it.

Q - how do you sleep the best?

Rokka: laying sprawled on my back is the best! Sometimes fetal. Finn: I actually... do enjoy sleeping in my coffin. So in confined spaces I suppose. Sharing a bed with Rokka was very comfortable too. (Rokka self-fives himself in the bg) Psalm: Having horns makes sleeping on my back a bit of an issue, but they sit just on top of my head enough for me to sleep reasonably well on my side. Cimmorro: i don’t remember anymore… can’t say i’ve slept very well the last few years

Q - what was your mode of travel to shorewater?

Rokka: mode..? Oh, hard mode! Finn: Hard mode? Keva: (looks at the camera) Psalm: Boat. Han: foot, the odd cart here and there. Cimmorro: i stayed on land as much as possible through various modes.

Q - around what time do you prefer to eat dinner?

Rokka: any time is good in my book! Keva: late enough to not be hungry before i sleep Finn: .................. Psalm: Early evening? I've never given it much thought.

Q - if you knew in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you're living? why?

Psalm: My life right now is not something that is within my ability to change. Rokka: Same as roomie here...I don't think I want to be falsely accused of murder... Cimmorro: … no. i’ll just have to keep trying until such time comes.

Q - what’s your typical bed time? any routines?

Rokka: Never too late! I like to do some quick stretches after a long day for a good nights rest! Most of the time I just plop down lol Finn: I like to stay up past sunrise actually. Psalm: No. I usually go right to sleep. Preferably as early as possible since I don't like being tired. Cimmorro: i try to keep a strict and healthy routine but [sigh]

Q - what's something you might like for (insert gift-giving custom for holiday equivalent here)?

Finn: Jewellery and swords. Psalm: A good book would be nice. I also like masks. Rokka: I'll like anything as long as it came from their heart! Just the idea of them thinking about me warms me up. Cimmorro: same as rokka.

Q - how do you stay fit?

Rokka: 250 Push-ups, 250 Yard Handwalk, Jump Rope- 2000 Times, 250 Straight Punches to Heavy Bag, 250 Roundhouse Kicks to Heavy Bag, annnnnd 500 Squats. Finn: Thats quite impressive Rokka: ... (Rokka salutes) Psalm: I wouldn't say I'm the most physically fit man out there. (8 STR) Cimmorro: morning walks, maybe even jogs, if i’ve got the time to spare… which is almost never. does carrying stacks of books count?

Q - to everyone: do you like anime

Rokka: what's anime? :0 Psalm: ...Animals? They're alright. I like small ones, like puppies, kittens, chicks etc. Finn: If you've seen Promare, please DM me.

Q - do you prefer meat or veggies

Rokka: meat......but veggies are good too.......can I pick both? Psalm: Meat. Finn: Meat as well. Han: meeeeeat Cimmorro: i find it difficult to enjoy a meal without having both.

Q - what is your most treasured memory

Psalm: :psalmface: Rokka: :) Finn: ^___^ Han: (Han thinks briefly and then blushes, embarrassed)

Q - how do you feel about physical touch? yea? nay?

Finn: I dont experience much of it but I enjoy it when I do. Keva: depends Psalm: I prefer to keep to myself. Rokka: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *hugs Psalm* Psalm: *Sighs* Han: (shrugs) everyone was always touching me, so am used to it. Cimmorro: big no! unless we’re close, don’t touch me.

Q - what does friendship mean to you?

Psalm: God is that you? Rokka: Everything! Psalm, is God your friend? Psalm: *suddenly regretting his answer*

Q - coffee or tea?

Rokka: TEA! Psalm: I'm not particularly fond of either, but if I had to pick, tea. Finn: Tea! What kind do you favor Psalm? Psalm: Chamomile or mint, depending on what's available. And yourself? Finn: Oh, I quite like that one too. My favourite is Rose Petal Blend though, perhaps we could share a cup- *remembers vampirism* Ah- perhaps I could have... a cup of blood if it doesnt disgust you. Psalm: That wouldn't disgust me at all. Just pick a day. Finn: *crying cat* Keva: never had coffee Cimmorro: coffee. though one of my parents often share their special tea brew with me in the afternoons or long nights of work. it’s pretty much the only kind of tea i like… i miss it.

Q - what's a favourite feature of yourself? can be external or internal, or both

Finn: I took good care of my hair before I became undead. So my hair would've been it. Psalm: Regarding physical traits...my mother and I have identical eyes and horns. Mum found it cute, so I guess I grew up being somewhat fond as well... Interal, I don't self reflect that often. I'll leave that unanswered. Rokka: I like my blue fur! and eyes! Keva: (shrugs) don't think about that sorta thing Han: (Han becomes increasingly despondent the more she thinks) none is good enough. i need to be better. Cimmorro: my cleric magic!!!!!!!!! \\\\o//// i also like my hair and tail a lot!

Q - what’s something you used to be afraid of as a kid?

Finn: My aunt was quite scary haha. Psalm: When my mother got mad at me... Rokka: Loud noises Keva: throwing up Cimmorro: oh i used to see a shadow of a demon in my quarters quite often for a few years. freaked me out a lot of times but i believe lady wee jas protected me since that demon never did come to harm me at all. :D

Q - do you know the muffin man?

Rokka: The muffin man..? Finn: The muffin man... I would like to meet him. Keva: what

Q - what’s your preferred weather

Rokka: Sunny! but with a nice breeze! (≧▽≦) Finn: I dislike rain, but fog can be nice to watch. Since I only operate at night now clear weather is preferred. Psalm: I like sunny weather, but rainy days are nice when I don't have to be outside. Keva: warm and clear Cimmorro: same as psalm.

Q - are you an early riser or late sleeper?

Rokka: EARLY WOLF CATCHES THE DEER Psalm: Depends on when I need to get up. Keva: depends Cimmorro: both…. 🤦‍♂️

Q - what are your feelings on pda

Rokka: What's "peh-dah"? Psalm: I have no problem with it, although I dislike drawing attention to myself, so then again... Cimmorro: depends, but especially dislike it during work.

Q - what’s your best “my coworkers are crazy” story?

Rokka: (nervously glances back at everyone) Um...Uh...Haha (forced smile) Keva: (doesn't break eye contact with the camera as she gestures at the rest of the party) Psalm: I was partnered with a friend once for a... well a thing that we had to do, and he somehow managed to gamble away all of his clothing. Cimmorro: all of this right now

Q - what's your favourite type of bread

Keva: bread Rokka: Any is good! Psalm: Croissants are nice. Cimmorro: any as long as it’s fresh out of the oven.

Q - when was the last time you laughed so hard it was hard to stop? what was so funny?

Psalm: Refer to the "coworker" answer.

Q - guilty pleasures?

Psalm: I like to read poetry. I only feel guilty about it because a friend of mine said it made me seem too brooding, and now I'm a bit self conscious Cimmorro: playing pranks on my coworkers during break

Q - are you still in touch with friends from your childhood?

Keva: some of them Rokka: I wish I could say that Psalm: Not for a couple months now, no. Finn: Yes! My friend Sagessa and I are penpals, so even if we're far apart we can always talk!! Han: (han shakes her head dejectedly) Cimmorro: mhm

Q - who's someone interesting you met recently

Rokka: Finn!!!!! He can turn into things! so cool Psalm: I would also have say Finn, as I'd never met a vampire before now. Not to say the rest of you aren't interesting enough. Finn: *turns into a bat and hangs himself upside down from Rokka's shoulder* Han: (han looks around warily) (whispers) psalm BUT DONT TELL HIM THAT!!!! what is that guys DEAL Cimmorro: i agree about finn

Q - what's the best day you've had recently?

Rokka: Hard to say with whats been happening Psalm: "Recently" is a bit of a stretch. Finn: I had a good time at the ball with Orin! Cimmorro: the king consort accepting my offer was cool and exciting. feel like i haven’t had a normal job in years with how long these weeks have been going pffff

Q - do you have siblings

Psalm: It's entirely within the realm of possibility, but none that I'd ever care to meet. Keva: don't know Han: yes Cimmorro: in a way, yes

Q - how important is fashion to you

Finn: If I dont look good whats the point of anything. Psalm: Not very. Keva: it's not Rokka: Somewhat? I just bought my first and only shirt ever!! that's pretty fashionable of myself if you asked me. B) Han: (gets bashful) there are some cute dresses i see around town but... :wiwi: Cimmorro: [gestures at all of himself] :-)

Q - do you have any personal belongings that you would feel upset about losing? what are they?

Psalm: No, I've never really had any attachment to material things. I suppose there is this dagger I've picked up recently that has served some use, so maybe that...maybe. Finn: My earrings or my sword. I cherish them. Han: yeah. some weapons i have were made by uuh. a significant person in my life. Cimmorro: my headpiece and holy symbol. other jewelry pieces i have i can replace easily, but not these…

Q - if you had a completely free day with no responsibilities or obligations, what would you do with your time?

Finn: Honestly? I'd like to sleep and dream about nice things. Rokka: I would love to go sight seeing at places i haven't been to! Han: oh me too Rokka!!!! maybe we can go together someday :) Cimmorro: mmm… quite rare the last few years but i did enjoy my day offs by fishing, spending time with the children and sleeping of course. i’ve no idea what else to do, otherwise...

Q - do you take long or short baths?

Finn: I liked to take long baths back then. Rokka: long! gotta make sure all this fur is fresh and clean! Han: i used to be in and out of the water real fast but i can enjoy a long bath now sometimes... Cimmorro: i like to take long ones whenever i can! but i often find myself having to take short baths or showers in a rush...

Q - favourite piece of literature?

Psalm: I haven't gotten much reading in recently, but I liked the stories my mum would read to me when I was younger. When I remember the names I'll get back to you. Rokka: the ones that has a picture of something and words that tells me what they are! I like those if that counts Keva: my what Finn: I love folklore and fairy tales... I hope this doesn't make me seem childish. Han: lich-reh.... is that one of those book names for a mushroom?? Cimmorro: does the white book count? feel like that’d be too obvious hehe… i like to read anything i find interesting at the time. arcane, scriptures of other churches, etc. not too big of a fan of fictions though.

Q - ur cute have a nice day ♡

Finn: Rokka someone said youre cute. Rokka: oh..! really? how do you know?!

Q - if you could get away with one crime what would it be

Rokka: the only crime I will commit is this current crime due to being framed!!! Cin: Arson. Psalm: Murder I guess, given our current situation. Cimmorro: ...if i knew i was guilty, i’d turn myself right in.

Q - We Got A Benefit Concert 4 These Male Lesbians In Da Planning Stages How U Gon Contribute

Keva: [geralt "hm"]

Q - where is this fuk house located. I need it for research purposes.

Han: there are several brothels in shorewater, if you want i can give recommendation...

Q - how do you feel about showing skin when it comes to what you wear? are you comfortable with it, or do you prefer not to?

Han: (slaps her bare thigh) you know it baaabyyyyyyy Rokka: i feel more comfortable and less restricted with no shirt.....pants r cool tho! Psalm: Like any average person. Cimmorro: unless it’s incredibly hot out, i 100% avoid exposing any of these scales to any dirts and stains

Q - maybe in a word or two, without giving a lot away, what are you in shorewater for?

Han: i was told to get a fresh start here? whatever that means LOL Keva: repay a debt Rokka: im just s---im just sitting here Psalm: No particular reason. Just ended up here really.

Q - do you ever feel lonely

Finn: ^___^ Rokka: hard to when I'm around these fellas *gestures to everyone* Psalm: No, I don't mind being by myself. Keva: (long silence with no eye contact before answering) sometimes, lately, whatever Cimmorro: fucking homesick is more like it

Q - what's something that makes you feel nostalgic

Han: ... some of my weapons and tools. Keva: i guess, elfonsent or whatever it's called here....big festivals for public holidays Cimmorro: Jasper.

Q - do you like to cook? what would you say is your specialty?

Rokka: does roasting something on a stick count??? Han: same as rokka... i think i always did more of preparation of ingredients than actual cooking. Keva: i don't cook Cimmorro: yeee people seem to enjoy my stuffed grilled fish the most

Q - do you like it here in shorewater, unfortunate events aside?

Han: yeah!!! its been fun! i was not here very long but i made a couple of friends!! Keva: eh, it's definitely true a lot of things happen here Cimmorro: i'm not particularly interested of this place

Q - how would you feel about getting involved in a train murder mystery that may or may not involve werewolves?

Han: WEREWOLVES???????????? HOW DO I INVOLVE MYSELF Keva: hard pass Cimmorro: [grimacing] i’d rather avoid doing anything that doesn’t involve my duties to my faith, if i had the choice.

Q - what incredibly common thing have you never done?

Finn: So, I hear that commoners are very skilled in all sorts of handiwork? How exhilarating. One day, I'd like to fix my chair myself when it breaks down. Or shop for ingredients on a market street myself, imagine the wonders! Keva: read Cimmorro: ...a vacation?

Q - Welcome to Good Burger home of the Good Burger! Can I take your order?

Finn: May I order some Nuggets

Q - do you prefer to be the big spoon or the little spoon?

Psalm: Neither. I don't sleep on my side. Keva: if i had to pick, big Rokka: either one...I'm not picky Finn: I have never been either. Well, perhaps the little spoon after sharing a bed with Rokka? Han: big spoon!!!!! Cimmorro: big

Q - do you like to dance?

Keva: (shrugs) it can be fun with friends Psalm: Yes. Rokka: yeah!! boogie woogie oogie Finn: Very much so! Cimmorro: yeap!!

Q - if you could have any animal or beast as a pet without any harm to you or those around you, what would you have?

Rokka: bunnies are cute hehe Han: i would have a giant dragon or chimera or some thing badass like that Finn: A dragon indeed sounds "badass". But isn't it too big?... Cimmorro: both are huge and sound tedious to upkeep nonetheless. i’m perfectly happy with Jasper.

Q - if you were to change your hairstyle, what would you do?

Han: i wonder what it would be like if i cut all off, but... Keva: cut it short again i guess Psalm: I'd grow it out. Rokka: *looks at his whole body* much to think about Finn: I'd want to cut it short again. But at the moment I'm trying to grow it out. Cimmorro: i once considered growing mine out a bit just to try, but i usually trim my hair during the summer so it never came to be. i feel like it��d be a hassle to do it now and i’ve lost interest.

Q - Hey! What do you guys think of the death penalty?

Keva: i don't Want to think abt the death penalty Rokka: same here Finn: Sir this is a fuckhouse.

Q - have you all ever heard a voice in your head?

Rokka: the one that sounds like me? yeah Psalm: No. Finn: *blinks Yes in morse code*

Q - boobs or butts?

Psalm: Who would ask this...? *He chuckles and doesn't answer.* Rokka: Do.....Do we really have to answer this? *sweating* Finn: There's only one correct choice. Han: this question is foolish. both are great.

Q - if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Plum: ..................................... Psalm: The ability to go back in time would be useful. Plum: the ability to go back in time would be useful Rokka: stop making me choose one thing i can't choose. Finn: I want to dual wield blades. Cimmorro: teleportation powers perhaps...

Q - if you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Psalm: What an odd question... I'd rather keep my mind. I'm curious how a 90-year old me would look. Rokka: This is hard Finn: *laughs in vampire* Han: body Cimmorro: body

Q - tell me about the first crush you remember having

Psalm: No. (offscreen there is a screech of a chair. keva is leaving) Rokka: Ummm...... Finn: (Finn "Hm"s) Did anyone else crush on characters from the books they've read? For me it was a swordsman, in any case. Han: (whispers to the asker) whats a crush?? Cimmorro: [tilting head at han and shaking his head] ...yeah, finn. wee jas.

Q - what’s your favourite thing about someone you admire?

Rokka: she's really tall! and strong! I admire her strengths! she's really nice!!! She's the best. Keva: that everything would be okay if they were around. or it felt like that at least Psalm: He was more friendly than me, and I envied how easily he could make friends when we were younger. Finn: He stands his ground against anyone. Han: they are so easy going and kind hearted, even when i am not to them. Cimmorro: just about everything? especially that they seem to never break under pressure and are completely capable of making decisions with swiftness and grace...

Q - would you like to be famous? in what way?

Psalm: Absolutely not. Keva: no Rokka: I don't think I have the skills to go that far. Finn: I don't aspire much fame but some renown as a swordsman seems worthwhile. Cimmorro: gaining a good enough reputation to be an influencer… i believe it would be important for the church, so i wouldn’t refuse it.

Q - rokka how does it feel to be the funniest person in existence

Rokka: I don't know how it feels because I just found out I am funny...? How?

Q - rokka i have on good authority that cole wants to play rugby with you what’s your response

Rokka: YEAHHHH LETS GOOOOOO maybe then we can become true friends through the bonds of rugby!!!!!

Q - rokka what do you think about shirts

Rokka: They're alright I guess? Don't really see the point of it though

Q - Plum, would you like to shop with me one day? I love your fashion sense. -Finn

Plum: I WOULD LOVE TO. WHEN THIS SHIT IS OVER THEN ALSO THANK YOU

Q - plum are your teeth crooked or did you lose a tooth

Plum: they're crooked

Q - cole what do you think about vinny as a boss

Cole: ooooh incredible ! The fact that i get to work under a wizard of his skills as an apprentice still bowls me over, I've learned so much and i haven't even been here all that long. I know he doesn't seem to like the Accord much but being part of their group is no joke, he musta' had some cool projects back in the day. He doesn't seem to mind when i break things either, he's a real swell guy like that, nothing like my last boss [nervous laughter]

Q - when is the last time you got a manipedi

Rokka: got a what? Cimmorro: i do my own! as often as needed!

Q - what is it like having a tail

Rokka: Idk? ok? but what's it like NOT having a tail though? :thonk: Psalm: ...Normal. This is the norm for me, so I have no clue how to answer this in a way that would be satisfactory to someone that doesn't have one. Like with any part of the body, I don't really think about it unless I remember it's there. I guess the one thing is that I don't like having holes in my clothes, so everything I wear is low waisted. Finn: I wasn't aware everything you wear is low waisted, much less why. Psalm: I always wear a waist sash, but next time I can go without if you're curious. Cimmorro: i used to trip over my own tail a lot when i was a kid. it was rather long for my size at the time hehe

Q - you’re right rokka what is it like Not having a tail

Rokka: You Tell Me Keva: they weren't asking you

Q - rokka how do you maintain your fur

Rokka: Check out my youtube channel please like and subscribe! -> [link to fur answer above]

Q - Keva what is the way to your heart? I'm asking for a friend...

Keva: tell your friend to find smth better to do

Q - finn your hair is so shiny what’s your secret

Finn, visibly confused: There is no secret to my haircare. I simply do what everyone else does, no? Personally I use lye soap and rosewater. Perhaps you ought to try a different oil or mixture from your usual.

Q - finn what do you think about your uncle’s growing fanclub? what does he think abt it?

Finn: His "fanclub"? Well, it is true people take a liking to my uncle rather quickly, but I've yet to see him reciprocate any such affections. If this "club" is anything official I would like to be its president though, to guide others of course. I may find someone who could get along with him, he really ought to settle down one of these days!

Q - finn can you tell us a little bit about your cousins?

Finn: Hmm... from the beginning they have been more outgoing than me, I must admit I am a bit envious of that. But the Vengaboys have brought out a lot in me already, I think.

Q - hey finn how tall are your heels

Finn: 3 inches. But I have taller ones for balls and the like.

Q - orin what would it take for you to share an embarrassing story about keva

Orin: hmmmm id probably wait until she left the room first....

Q - vinny how bad is your eyesight without glasses

Vinny: bad enough that id fall down the stairs in my own store if i lost em’ [anime sweatdrop] its why they have that handy string attached to them now, and well also because the cats like to bat at my face sometimes...

Q - ezra and cole have you ever had to help vinny find his glasses. let me clarify i know he has that thing where his glasses can hang from his neck but have you ever had to help vinny find his glasses bc he lost them anyways

Ezra: never, but he didn't always have the string, he told me he slapped it on because he had that exact problem. Cole: I've only ever seen em' with that string so he’s never really lost em'... though one time he broke them and i had to help him around the store for a week until a friend of his could fix them, its the grumpiest ive ever seen him [ she makes a face like this :y and laughs ]

Q - ezra i'm serious will you please let me buy you a new coat

Ezra: [he looks down confused at his clothes] ....

Q - ezra why won’t you get a new coat

Ezra: ...... do i need a new coat...? *Psalm laughs a little in the bg.*

Q - can you tell us more about your family han?

Han: ha ha hA HA HA HA HA HA HA. no. i want avoid all thought about them.

Q - han which muscle group is your favourite to flex

Han: (sits like the thinker for a long time in contemplative silence) for me, legs and thighs feel most strong. but others like when i flex arms 💪

Q - han you are very cool don’t let anyone tell you otherwise also i love you

Han: i am cool, thank you mystery stranger, also wH--

Q - han do you want to build a snowman

Han: you know, we used to play game where we would roll each other in wheel, down mountain, into snowmen, and who hits most win... fun times. i do want to build snowman again, yes :)

Q - which of you know how to tell direction from the stars

Han: i know ! 😊 (quieter) but only little bit... Cimmorro: ...y’know, someone once tried to teach me how to do this but i’ve fallen asleep while we were talking. [has guilt written all over his face]

Q - han what is your favourite way to wear your hair

Han: ah...my sibling did this complicated braid on me, before... it look very thin, like basket weaving...sad, never learned how they do it (han looks a bit melancholic)

Q - what do you value most in friendship?

Psalm: I should buy a full pitcher of beer at the next tavern, and for every question about friendship we receive just take a long sip from it. Rokka: the bond! loyalty! respect! this is more than one! oh well! Finn: The ability to confide without fearing loss or judgement. Keva: trust Han: oh, i agree with answer from finn.

Q - han, cole, and rokka how did you get so swole

Cole: [she taps her forehead] step one...mental fortitude.... Han: (scoffs) have someone on your ass since you have memory Rokka: (taps his biceps) determination!

Q - May I inquire where you've picked up that rodent from Keva? -Finn

Keva: while traveling

Q - psalm how long have you kept a journal

Psalm: Not very. I just started it. Helps to keep my thoughts organised, and having just reached Shorewater I figured it would be worth chronicling what I got up to.

Q - psalm you wear a lot of black nail polish but do you have any other colors? what are your favourites?

Psalm: I'm not fond of bright colours (for my nails at least), so black is my favourite. I've never really tried out anything else, but maybe I should, just for a change of pace.

Q - do you guys like piercings ?

Keva: do i like having them or do i like when other people have them what are you asking Rokka: (points at keva) what she said Psalm: Yes, I do have them after all.

Q - aaaaalright heres a better question then. would you prefer for your partner to have piercings or not? do you find it attractive?

Psalm: Oh I see. I guess they are attractive aren't they? (lol) Rokka: if they like them then I like them! They can wear whatever they want! I don't really have a preference for it. Finn: As long as it is nothing obscene, I will accept it. It can have its charm, I admit. Keva: i don't really care. i guess? Han: its so cool!! i wanted some myself but aah.. my tribe was very against that thing Cimmorro: yeah and yup.

Q - hey tieflings what’s horn maintenance like for you

Psalm: Not unlike er-, "body maintenance". At least in my case I don't do anything particularly special. Cimmorro: mine are too small to have any need for maintenance. i consider it a lucky thing since it’s less things to worry about.

Q - Psalm, who is your favourite character in GBF? -Finn

Psalm: I like Vania. I have to start playing water now because of her new alt unfortunately but... can't be helped. Finn: Haha, I like that answer. Good luck with your water! Psalm: Oh? I'm glad I passed. And thank you.

Q - would you ever wear matching couple things with your significant other

Finn: As long as it is fashionably, gladly.... That sounds like a very sweet idea, dear reader. Rokka: yeah!! I think it's cute hehe Psalm: That depends on the thing. Keva: ^ Cimmorro: absolutely

Q - hi um this question is for psalm how do you keep your hooves warm in the winter? do you have socks? leg warmers?

Psalm: That's an interesting question. While I'm not that well versed in the specifics of tiefling anatomy, I do know that keeping warm isn't really an issue for me whenever it gets cold, so I don't typically wear anything like socks.

Q - rokka do you have a favourite meat dish?

Rokka: hmm...anything roasted on a stick? But that's a stick not dish...meat buns!

Q - hey psalm han and plum your brows are amazing what salon do you go to

Han: sah lon? i dont know what that but these run in family Psalm: These are how they are naturally. I have better things to do with my own time than fuss about my appearance too much.

Q - what are your thoughts on the institution of marriage

Psalm: My parents are married and seem to like each other enough, so I suppose it's not so bad. Finn: I think it is merely a matter of who you choose to spend your life with, not marriage itself. So, I would like to be wed happily. Han: (whispers to the asker) whats marriage???? Cimmorro: [tilts head and squints a bit at han again rn]

Q - keva, do you think youll ever learn how to read? if yes, what kind of books would you want to read ?

Keva: (gaze falls to the table at the first question but at the second question she looks up and her eyes slightly squint questioningly at you) idk what kinda books there are bc i can’t read Psalm: Would you like some recommendations? I can read them to you if you want. Keva: (is getting visibly pink) Psalm: ....Is that a no?

Q - for every one, what's the way to your heart??

Finn: Hmm... you must be worthy as my rival! (he gives his rapier a test swing) That is for sure. But should you lack a passion for swordsmanship, please do your best to entertain me at a ball, at the very least. Rokka: um...? (Scratches his head nervously) I'm not sure how to answer this haha....just....please love me??? *shy* Psalm: I've never thought about it. I just like who I like. Cimmorro: fuck around and find out!

Q - do you own any porn? what kind

Han: asker, are you sure you dont just want directions to brothel? Rokka: what's a porn and how do you own one? What kinds are there? Psalm: "What's a porn" he says... Don't worry too much about it Rokka. Cimmorro: the only porn you all should be reading is the white book

Q - would you or would you not try roller skates (shoes with wheels on them)?

Finn: Shoes with wheels on them? That sounds most absurd... and yet... I must inform my uncle of this. Where does one acquire such shoes... ? Rokka: (tries to picture this in his head for too long the interviewer moves on) 🤔 Psalm: This sounds like a prime setup for falling on my ass, so no.

Q - hi vengaboys. i’ve been following your adventures since predebut. i’ve been stuck at home bc of a global pandemic and i gotta say it’s really bumming me out. what should i do

Finn: I have plenty experience with staying at home. A lot of people might tell you to hone a skill or indulge in hobbies you have been neglecting and while that can be a productive use of your time, it is easier spoken than done, no? I recommend, if you are allowed, to seek out quiet places without many people around. That way you do not endanger yourself or anyone else in these trying times. Spending time in nature is quite refreshing. Please look forward to our continued performance, dear reader. Psalm: *Is somewhat amazed.* I don't think I can give a better answer than that one. Rokka: wow finn you're so smart

Q - would you ever become a vegetarian if you aren’t already one

Keva: no Rokka: I don't like salad Psalm: Sure. Finn: I would literally die. I know I like to not die, so no.

Q - To psalm and finn, what’s your thoughts on that belial guy?

Psalm: *coughs into his sleeve* Finn: *does the same*

Q - how do you like to celebrate birthdays

Finn: I think throwing a ball can be quite fun, but I think spending it intimately is far more pleasurable. I am not so vain as to demand a ball each time.

Q - do you have people waiting for you wherever you call home? if you can share, who?

Finn: My family. I can't wait to speak to my cousins again and tell them about this job, shall it go well. Psalm: I'm not sure if "waiting" is the word I'd use, but yes. Cimmorro: i can’t imagine any of those people not wanting my presence again

Q - do you like hugs

Finn: ... If they come from the right people, then yes, certainly. Rokka: oh! yes, I like hugging Psalm: What Finn said. I like them about as much as the average person, although I have a friend that mocks me for not being particularly good at giving them, whatever that means. (How can you be bad at hugging...?) Finn: Perhaps your posture is stiff, Psalm? It can make the hug feel rather "cold", so to speak. Psalm: That's what he said... (He looks lost in thought.) Rokka: psalm if you need practice hugging I am here (stands there with open arms) Finn: Consciously think about your movement. Are you actually bending your torso, properly using your arms? Try with Rokka. Keva: (was about to answer but is now biting her lip to keep from laughing at rokka and finn coaching psalm on hugging) Han: (faces away from this spectacle and slaps a hand over her mouth to not break out laughing too) Psalm: There's a lot more that goes into hugging than I initially thought.

Q - do you prefer hot weather or cold?

Keva: hot Han: cold!! honestly its too hot in shorewater... i never thought i would miss snow Rokka: more warm than hot......but if i had to choose between the two then it would be cold Finn: I've been preferring cold weather as of late. Psalm: Hot. Cimmorro: personally i’m more of an in between guy but if i’ve no choice then i’d say cold.

Q - when was the last time you went on a date

Finn: I'd like to go on one in the first place :cryingcat: Rokka: I wanna go on one too!! Finn: ... Looks like we both have something to gain here. I jest of course. Psalm: *racking his brain* Can't remember. Cimmorro: a couple or so years ago.

Q - Hello Vengaboys! We have not had the pleasure of meeting but I am an old friend of Finnian's. He tells me about your travels in his letters and I quite look forward to reading them. Your time in Shorewater sounds like it has been quite the whirlwind! I am writing because I have always known Finnian to be a kind and gentle boy who worries about others often, and I want to be sure he is as okay as he says he is. How is he really? Please treat him well, and please do not tell him I wrote! I imagine he would be quite beside himself with embarrassment if he found out. Sincerely yours, Sagessa P.S. I do hope we get to meet one day! May Pelor protect you until and long after then.

Rokka: Hello sagessa!! Nice to, uh, read you! I didn't know he had a friend! Yes...shorewater has been super crazzzzy. Kind of scary actually...don't come here. (Lol) you're right he is kind and well so far! He's nice to me and I like him! We shared a bed and it was nice. Also, don't worry my lips are sealed! Promise! Sincerely, Rokka. P.s. I hope to meet you soon! (saying this all outloud)

Q - Who taught you all how to fight? Or to hone in on a specific skill?

Psalm: I've been trying to figure that out myself. Rokka: my father Finn: *side eyes psalm* I took an interest in swordsmanship early. I've had an instructor and participated in many tournaments. Your opponents are your most valuable teachers. Han: ...the whole tribe, really. Keva: i learned on my own at first. Cimmorro: good ol’ parents gyahaha

Q - do any of you know how to give good massages

Psalm: I know, but whether or not they're "good" remains to be seen. Cimmorro: we were certainly taught basic massage techniques but i don’t really have the strength for it [laughs wryly]

Q - what are your thoughts and feelings about your country or hometown?

Psalm: I'll save time and just say that they're mostly positive. Finn: My hometown is okay. Could be better. :/ Cimmorro: i like my hometown. i can’t imagine settling down anywhere else at the moment.

Q - do you like bugs

Rokka: yeah, they're neat! Lady bugs were my favourite when I was young. Keva: as long as they're not biting me or trying to get at my food, they're fine Psalm: No, but I'm not scared of them either or anything silly like that. Finn: As a child I was less aversive to them but I must admit I find them most unpleasant and avoid all contact. Cimmorro: yeah!

Q - would you confess to your love interest first

Rokka: idk maybe? I've never been in this situation before do I'm not sure...👉👈 Psalm: It depends. No sense in keeping some things hidden though. Finn: If there is no other way, yes. Cimmorro: sure. beating around the bush feels like a waste of time really.

Q - Do any of you have any second given names?

Finn: Yes, actually. My second name is Oswald. Han: (scoffs) no. threw it out.

Q - does your chain hang low does it bobble to the floor can you tie it in a knot can you tie in a bow can you throw it o’er your shoulder like a smth smth smth does your chain hang low

Finn: Psalm, do you recognize this writing ? Psalm: It...sounds vaguely familiar, but as I'm not from around here I'm not too sure.

Q - have you ever been to or in a wedding party? do you like going to weddings?

Psalm: I've been to my parents' wedding, but aside from that not really. I do like parties. Wedding parties seem like fun. Cimmorro: i ordain weddings... or, well, i used to. the parties are fun, but overseeing the ceremony itself is something i’d rather avoid.

Q - have you ever been somewhere haunted?

Psalm: I would hope not. Cimmorro: once or twice? strangely fun? i’d recommend it :)

Q - have you ever held a baby

Psalm: Probably? What kind of question is this? Han: ..yeah. Cimmorro: yeah! it was practically my job back then haha

Q - what would be an invention you’d really like to see to make life easier

Psalm: Airships were already invented, so I'm out of ideas. Cimmorro: a portable communication device more efficient than a sending stone sounds nice

Q - plum do you miss your sister?

Plum: yeah. who the hell are you

Q - keva what's your favourite hairstyle?

Keva: there’s up and there’s down idk how to do anything else Finn: You don't know how to do anything else? If you are ever interested I'd be happy to assist you in finding something to your liking. And to teach, shall you wish it. Keva: first psalm now you what is going on Psalm: It's an admirable trait for sure :-). Finn: You could simply stand to make more of yourself, Keva. Keva: you're just making fun of me now Finn: Absolutely not. But let's just say you're not going to impress anyone like this. Keva: who is there to-- i'm not Trying to impr-- okay (she is leaving) Finn laughs quietly to himself as she leaves Psalm: Hmm.. if I ever grow my hair out I'll be sure to come to you Finn. Finn: Gladly.

Q - i heard thru the town crier that you all were not in fact the ones who ruined elfonsent spell but how do i know i can trust you

Psalm: We didn't ruin the ball. Just take the kings' word for it I guess

Q - do you like to draw

Finn: I do not recall ever trying my hand at it. I've no time for such things. Plum: sometimes Cimmorro: sure.

Q - would you get a tattoo? what and where would it be?

Rokka: What if 😳 I already 😳 have a tattoo😳 ? 😳 On my back 😳 Plum: *confused thinking about all the fur... did they shave him first and then tattoo him? the fuck would be the point if the fur just grows back??* Han: i only have all this birthmark... and if anything, i would like to get rid of them. Cimmorro: i already have one but maybe i’d get a few more 🤔

Q - when you’re not feelin so hot what do you do to cheer yourself up?

Rokka: roaming or good company is always nice...but it hasn't been that easy to have these days. Keva: find somewhere up high Psalm: Not sure. I have the tendency to avoid problems. Plum: drink, i think? pretty sure i drink Han: go as far into a forest as i can Cimmorro: drink

Q - have any of you had a job before this? i know han worked at the swallow’s perch but what about the rest of you? what was the job if you can share?

Psalm: I'm in my early twenties. I think there'd be something wrong if I didn't have some line of work before this. (He ignores the rest of the question.) Plum: i work for an alchemist over in talornia Rokka: check it (starts juggling) Han: hey im still working there ;-; Cimmorro: temple work. i help oversee almost everything.

Q - do any of you know how to play instruments?

Psalm: I definitely can't. Keva: sort of, not really Cimmorro: nah... though i was interested in learning one

Q - any favourite scary stories?

Psalm: I'm pretty ambivalent about the horror genre. Not my thing. Finn: That's a shame. I would've asked you for a recommendation Psalm.

#QA #QARokka #QAKeva #QAHan #QAFinn #QAPlum #QAPsalm #QAVinny #QAEzra #QACole #QACimmorro #chip creates a whole new series of tags

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