#i am NOT a writer by any means

[pickledworm]

gods I just thought of a brilliant story line for a tgcf fanfic based off the sign outside my local plant nursery and I can't decide if I want to attempt writing it myself out not

[mugwot]

rotating this crossover in my brain. again. i am not gonna say that the kitty is unlucky Because it is a black cat But. it sure is in situations often. lower are vague end-game Ghost Trick spoilers, go play the game! (or you know, watch a lets play) its short and sweet and has a good resent remaster for pc.

my current thought is that sissel got lost on a road trip? maybe fell through a portal? and is kinda stuck in the middle of nowhere usa. Shenanigans ensue. that happens when you have an increadibly powerful energy source stuck in a kinda defenceless body (not counting the time powers. which i am sure clockwork has nothing to say about and danny specifically doesnt have any negative experience with.)

[gomzdrawfr]

look at this dumb thing I drew

[johnslittlespoon]

plsssss can we talk about bucky getting his revenge and edging gale

gale edging john post | yes we cannnnn !! eta: ykw. i need to just turn this into a proper oneshot since this ended up being over 1k words. new wip created </3

john may be a man of little self control, but after that incident, he decides he can be at least a tiny bit patient so he can catch gale off guard with it when he gets his revenge. because the next few times they're fooling around, gale's expecting a retaliation, john can see it in the way he tenses up and glances at his face before he comes like he's waiting for it, but john never follows through with it. he wants gale to let his guard down, and that he does.

so a week or so later when john's kissing him and feeling him up and asks ever so sweetly if he can tie gale's wrists behind his back, gale doesn't think anything of it. john likes to take control occasionally and gale sometimes likes the feeling of not having to worry about making decisions, getting to let john call the shots, and john always puts extra time and effort into the way he touches gale when he's restrained because he likes to watch his darling blondie squirm.

john has him sit in his lap facing him, letting gale lean against his shoulder to take the pressure off his legs while john works him open on his fingers, already riled up from the pretty gasps gale's making against his neck but reigning himself in because he's gonna need to have some self control for once.

he sweet–talks gale through it, telling him how good he sounds, how well he's doing as he sinks down on his cock, guiding him with hands on his hips so he doesn't unbalance himself without the use of his own hands where they're tied behind his back with a belt. he stays still at first, letting gale ride him slowly, keeping his hands loosely on his waist while praising him and talking him into that foggy needy headspace until gale's thighs are trembling and john takes pity on him (and frankly is so hard he doesn't have the patience to keep his own hips still anymore).

so he runs his hands down from gale's waist to his ass to hold him in place while he rolls his hips up into him, watching the way gale's eyebrows pinch and his pretty lips fall open in a silent oh as john angles himself in a way gale couldn't with his own movements. lets his mouth run as he slowly picks up his pace, all the coos of "so pretty", "you're taking me so well", "you feel so fucking good", loving how reactive gale is to every word and every thrust.

he moves his hands to gale's hips to get a better grip, can tell gale's getting close because he gets noisier, losing his filter and letting out breathy little "fuck"s and "john"s, head rolling back on his shoulders to bare his neck, rocking his hips down to meet john every time he fucks up into him. and then just as he gets the warning of "close", he pulls gale down by his hips to bury himself deep in him and stops moving completely.

the whine of desperation that tears out of gale's throat when he lifts his head has john knocking his skull back against the wall, cock twitching hard enough inside gale that he's sure the blond can feel it. he watches gale's biceps flex when he instinctively tries to get his hands free, feels his hips try to squirm out of his hands to keep moving, but he keeps him pinned firmly down, dizzy at the way he clenches down around him.

a plaintive "john" pulls a groan from him, but he composes himself, lifts his gaze back up to gale's face and lets the corners of his lips quirk up, purrs out a "yeah, sweetheart? something wrong?"

laughs at the way gale cusses him out, a rare sight of his little spitfire with a mouth on him, though the effect is a lot closer to being hissed at by a kitty than actually being convinced to move. john lets him run his mouth, murmurs a "cute" once gale's done, and then promptly hammers his hips up into him just once, swearing under his breath at the way it punches an open–mouthed moan from gale. rocks his hips up into him a few times before going back to a quick and rough pace, the sound of skin on skin getting both of them flushed.

it only takes a minute before gale's hips are twitching into his hands and whispered pleas are falling from his mouth and john thinks he's never had to use as much self restraint in his life as he does when he forces himself to stop moving again, once again yanking gale down against him, holding him still in his lap.

gale really fights it this time, enough so that it's a merciful distraction for john from how close he himself is (trust his idea to backfire as he ends up edging himself along with gale, he thinks) when he has to use proper strength to keep him in place. any blood that might've still been lurking around his brain rushes south the moment he sees gale's eyes getting shiny with frustration, cheeks all pink and lips red and flushed from biting down on them.

"not so fun, is it?" john taunts, but his voice comes out a bit more raspy than he would've liked, evident how much the stop and start is getting to him too. it's probably karma, because he knows he's being more mean than gale was to him, but he can't help it; those blue eyes look so pretty when tears are threatening to spill over when he's desperate and needy like this.

gale wriggles in his lap the best he can, still furiously chasing his orgasm, head finally falling back in frustration before he lifts it again, looking john in the eyes, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and letting it go. he whines quietly and whimpers out the sweetest "please, johnny," almost crying in his impatience, and fuck.

john doesn't mean for his hips to twitch up at that, but they do, hard. gale sobs out a broken sound at the way john's cock hits just where he needs it to in his accidental movement, and gale spills over his stomach completely untouched, just like that. john swears and drives his hips up into him in an attempt to quickly amend his slip up, moaning loud at the wrecked noises that immediately start bubbling up out of gale as he fucks him through his orgasm.

he tips over the edge himself from the desperate sounds the blond starts to make as he crosses the line into overstimulation, feeling gale's hips jerk frantically in his hands, fighting to get away from the incessant rhythm of his cock inside him as john shudders through his own orgasm, fingers digging into gale's sides.

he slows down to a gentle grind of his hips when gale collapses against his chest, face pressed to his neck, shivering at the slow drag inside him and whining pitifully when john eventually pulls out, settling him down on his thighs while he reaches around to undo the belt and free his hands. his heart bursts at the way gale instantly wraps his arms around him, clinging to him as they both catch their breath, john petting his hair and showering him with praise.

he eventually huffs out a laugh, murmuring a "sorry buck. payback's a bitch, but that was an accident, i swear." gale groans against him in complaint, lightly nipping at his shoulder in retaliation, too tired to fight back, but john's sure he'll pay for it eventually.

it's confirmed with the "better watch your back, darling" that he gets when they're both pulling their clothes back on, but to john, that sounds less like a threat and more like a good time, and he shoots gale a crooked grin to let him know as much.

[pannabags]

something something patrick having no one he can trust, and eliza having no one who trusts her. eliza struggling with the people skills and smooth talking necessary to succeed in business that come naturally to patrick and patrick struggling with the honesty and moral compass that are necessary to run a good and ethical business that are innate to eliza. them tempering each other and inspiring each other to do better but also genuinely liking each other as they are, while most people find them both irritating. the way they seem like polar opposites and come at things from completely different angles when they in fact share the same ambitions, world views, and long term goals. the romantic arc is right there.

[memoriamp4]

I hate that we never heard Astrid tell Hiccup 'I love you'. I was fully expecting her to tell him she loved him back in rtte 6x06 after he told her he loved her... but she didn't. Like they really made an entire episode about Astrid wanting a more lovely dovey relationship but then she never even said 'I love you' in the episode?? And Astrid has so many inspiring and loving speeches to Hiccup but I wish there was an 'I love you' included in at least one of them

[achaotichuman]

I just found an half finished oneshot that me and my gf were throwing ideas about around, I never got around to finishing it, but basically it's an orgy with Beron, Tamlin, Kallias, Lucien, Eris and the other Vanserra brothers (no there isnt any incest unless you count fucking in the same room as your family)

The premise is very similar to that of Calanmai, at least it involves sex magic, it's one of the smuttiest things I personally have ever written.

And since it's pride (and this is the first pride I've ever been safe enough to celebrate) I'm thinking of finishing this.

Anyway, here's a snippet, and y'all tell me what you think. (If it looks familiar I did post a snippet of it a few months back when I first started writing it)

“Gods.” Beron murmured, “Stay with me Spring.”

Tamlin swayed, breathing now harsh, hoarse pants, but he looked back up at Beron. Eyes wide and wanting, continuously flicking down to the cock bobbing under Beron’s slight movements. Hoping he wouldn’t have to speak for Beron to know what he meant. 

It seemed the High lord of Autumn already knew how this night would play out. 

He grinned, it was full of that fiery wickedness that Tamlin had grown to hate, to loathe. 

Beron lifted a finger in a beckoning motion, “Come here, Spring.”

The burning started again. An intense all over flush that made his skin bright red. Tamlin wanted, needed, to rip his clothes off, feel the cool air on his skin. But for a moment in time, all his thoughts went to the throne before him. The feet resting on the ground.

Tamlin crawled to Beron. Unable to do anything else.

The stone scraped his skin, the bleeding from his fingertips had not stopped, red stained the floor underneath him. His skin throbbed and burned. He felt like screaming from the sheer need to release at least a drop of the pent up energy only growing in him. 

Far too soon, or not soon enough, Tamlin was kneeling before Beron. He stared at the cock now stationed before him, hands falling atop the soft, pale skin of his thighs. Refusing to look up, refusing to meet the eyes of the male that had just made him crawl. 

He had crawled for Beron fucking Vanserra. 

[sonknuxadow]

something about how when a guy sonic character has nothing going for him in canon or is from a game people dont like people will flesh him out and write 500 page fanfictions about him detailing their au backstory for him anyway. if he does something really really bad whether it was a mistake or fully intentional people are willing to think about and understand why he did what he did. or theyll just ignore it entirely or blame it on bad writing. but when a girl sonic character does any of those same things shes treated like the spawn of satan

[barin-mclegg]

It's weird to learn about a thing you are completely on the outside of (to me). Like, I fall under so many labels, and felt pretty connected to them pretty dang fast, but sometimes I look up a thing and discover that, say, plurality is a thing.

And I have so many questions and most of them are insanely rude, and I have so many thoughts and most of them would be insanely mean to spout around, but I only know that bc I looked in to it. And suddenly I understand the people saying offensive shit not knowing it's offensive, and the people asking incredibly personal shit not knowing it's incredibly personal (though in same cases... I mean come on, use your damn brain).

Idk, I think it's good for everyone to be an outsider to a community at least once, and to acknowledge that and explore that and through that, learn to not be an ass to uneducated people.

If anyone's up to answering rude questions about plurality that would be great though bc I do not understand some shit and I don't want to be an ass :(

[accirax]

so... exciting announcement... i was hired to work on Reality Resort as a storyboard artist!

for those of you who haven't heard, Reality Resort is a Total Drama-inspired show on YouTube, produced by Cove and animated by Odd Nation Cartoons. its pilot episode just dropped a few hours ago!

to be clear, i didn't contribute at all to the first episode-- i was only hired about a week ago to contribute on episode 2 and beyond. speaking of, it'll be a lot easier for us to make episode 2 and beyond with more support for the show, so please consider checking out the pilot if the show sounds up your ally. the team is super cool and welcoming, and i've had a ton of fun with what i've worked on so far.

as for this blog, given that i'm now part of the show's staff, i won't be making any sorts of speculative content about Reality Resort or any of the other planned shows in the Reality Gauntlet. this is obviously because i know things the average viewer doesn't, and because i wouldn't want anything i was genuinely blindly speculating on to be interpreted as fact/a hint. however, Disventure Camp content (as well as all of the usual stuff) will continue as normal! (other than that i now have a bit less free time :,) )

anyways, i hope any of you who do decide to check it out will enjoy! as Cove has said in the comments, the first episode isn't perfect, and there are still plenty of quirks to iron out in the future. but, i think that the future of the show is looking bright, and i and the rest of the team appreciate any support you're willing to give. :)

[blubberingblobmonster]

Idk why but I have a feeling that this entire Jay thing in DR is going to be something big and A LOT more important than we think

[sxfterhearts]

DROPPPP THE JIUNG SMUT FIC 😭💔😭💔😭💔 literally nobody writes for him anymore and it makes me sad idc if it’s fluff, angst, smut, etc. just need me some jiung tbh

OMG ANON!!! this is insane i'm literally SO HAPPY TO RECEIVE YOUR ASK UHM THANK YOU AND UH ALSO I LOVE YOU IG? 💗 sorry is that too dramatic

okay youre so real tho literally nobody writes for my love jiung........... except i USED to write only fluff (i think i have around 3 fluff fics in my masterlist) and im not even joking, i literally have not wrote a single word of smut in 4years. FOUR YEARS. can you imagine???? it took kcon and dfesta and hello82 CHOI JIUNG TO BRING ME OUT OF MY SMUT HIATUS. WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS TRIGGERRED I REALLY MEANT IT COS OHHHHHH MY GOD I FR WAS LIKE FKJEJNFEILJNR RAHHHHHHHHH 👹 haha ha im gonna rant below under the cut sozzz

anyways TL;DR: DW MY FELLOW CHOCOCHIP your girl's gotchu i SEE u and i HEAR u and i will be working on the smut fic in earnest tonight (wish i published it earlier but damn it really is harder than i rmb to write smut) so yes. it will be dropped sometime tonight if all goes well (aka if i dont lose my mind will writing my own smut fic) you have been warned !! get keen !!!!! also feel free to DM me if you would like me to add you to a taglist or notify you when it's published (i'm aussie so time diff wise it will probs drop at a time that is convenient for americans cos LOL tumblr is an american site fr) !!!!

thank you so much for this ask btw it has been received and much appreciated by this little piwon writer living in her own tiny corner of the internet <333333333333 like i say this all the time but anytime anyone interacts with me and reads my fics it legit blows my mind cos im like who?? me??? damn.. //blushes

also ur so right i think its crazy how the popularity of members in terms of fanbase vs which members people actually want to read fics for is like... so different like worlds apart omg JUSTICE FOR HYUNG LINE PLSSSS i need more hyung line writers omfg

[slutshamethesquirrels]

i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270 i will not be frustrated about jjk 270

[o-uncle-newt]

I read Possession by AS Byatt after people told me "if you liked Gaudy Night you'll like this" and WELL.

Warning- spoilers for both books abound below!

So it sounded great- as a lapsed academic (though not in the field of literature by any means) there's a part of me that loves reading about academia because it's full of such obsessive people, and this book seemed to be exactly that and so I was excited.

Then I read it, and on the one hand, my first thought was "all these people are dull as heck, the only sane modern-day one is Val, and at the end of the day the historical stuff is just two people having an affair, who cares." My second thought was "there's just enough stuff here that makes me think that maybe the author knows that all of this is stupid, like the fact that Val is obviously one of the few sane ones here." But the ending made me doubt even that. Essentially, and I say this even as that lapsed academic, the author could not convince me to care about the important things at stake here, and as a result couldn't get me to care about the people who only seemed to care about those things.

I didn't care about Ash and LaMotte- they came across as two people high on their own supply who had a tawdry affair. (And each of them is the less interesting person, as a person, than their official partner!) As a result of not caring about them, I couldn't POSSIBLY care about Roland, Maud, and the rest of their crew, because their only functions were to be possessed by, and weirdly possessive of, these two entirely unworthy individuals, whose in-universe historical and literary significance Byatt couldn't convince me of, and to use that possession as a mirror for their own very lame romance. Beyond that they're utterly uninteresting, and there isn't even meant to BE much beyond that so it's not that surprising.

Anyway, I didn't like this book much, but it still made me think a lot. And there's a way in which a certain kind of person might say "well if it made you think then that's surely a sign of some positive quality" and... maybe? I don't know. I didn't hate all of it, and some parts were interesting, and I do have a whole separate list of things about the book that bug me including a breakdown of some of the book's (perceived by me) themes that I particularly disliked lol. Perhaps I'll post it another time. So I guess you can say it spurred me to thought, but loads of things that I don't like do that, and the only positive thing that that draws from me is that they're not downright dull.

The thing is, after finishing the book I was immediately struck by that "if you like Gaudy Night..." element, because it has a situation that felt weirdly similar (if for totally different reasons)- a young scholar stealing a letter from a library/archive. The circumstances are different- in Gaudy Night, the scholar does it to hide its existence so as not to contradict his thesis, and in Possession, the scholar does it so as to explore the document further, though still secretly- but there are still some interesting parallels vis a vis class. Possession goes into the class thing more than Gaudy Night does, but neither book goes much into it- the scholar is lower-class and someone who has scraped their way to their position, and is encumbered by a female partner of lower social and academic standing, and in the end they are juxtaposed against scholars who come from an elevated class and who have more money and opportunity. In Gaudy Night, Arthur Robinson is judged by the likes of Lord Peter Wimsey and a college full of women who don't have to do anything but think, teach, write, and grade papers; in Possession, Roland has to convince a bunch of academics of standing and resources to take a chance on him (and while this is more about money than class, he's the main one who's like "maybe it's good if Lady Bailey gets her wheelchair"). Byatt elides over this at the end by having him magically become in demand and on his way to achieving his academic goals, but I think in both books, the class element really could have taken on more significance in the text.

(I'd add as well that Byatt pits the upper-class and moneyed Maud, who of course is doing things for "the right reasons," vs the evil American businessman who clearly... doesn't care about Ash enough? Despite how much he clearly and obviously cares about Ash? The book was way more interesting when he seemed like a valid rival to the British team, who only thought that they deserved the letters more because of their obsession, rather than how it turned out at the end where the American dude is an actual cartoon villain. What made him genuinely less worthy besides having money without class, and of course having the bad taste to be American? What makes one scholar's possession more justified? Sayers was never this unsubtle.)

So that made me think more about Possession vs Gaudy Night, and the thing is, there are actual living people in Gaudy Night! Say what you will about the unworldliness of the academics at Shrewsbury, but you get a very keen view of their personalities by the end, even as they are (by necessity given the rules of their world) subsumed by academia, or subsume themselves in it. And the people who do fall in love are REALLY in love, and you understand why...

And somehow a book from 1935 feels far more interrogative of the possession (or lack thereof) found in love and romance, and just about the place of women in academia and relationships overall, than one from the late 80s. In Gaudy Night, Harriet accepts Peter once she has determined that despite their power differential (brought on by class, money, history, and to a degree gender) he will not threaten her personhood, because he has proven himself to her. In Possession, Maud accepts Roland because she has the power (money, class, position, even height) and so Roland actually cannot threaten her- and yet still that final scene is about her being taken by him, basically to prove some kind of a point. In contrast, in Busman's Honeymoon, the euphemistic sex scenes are about Peter trying to please Harriet.

When I say it's to prove a point, I'm paraphrasing Byatt, incidentally- who said: "And in the case of Maud I had made it very inhibiting. She was a woman inhibited both by beauty (which actually isn't very good for very beautiful women because they feel it isn't really them people love) and she was also inhibited by Feminism, because she had all sorts of theories that perhaps she would be a more noble kind of woman if she was a lesbian. And so she was a bit stuck. And Roland was timid because I am naturally good at timid men. It's the kind of men I happen to like. He's a timid thinking man, so of course it took him the whole book." I mean... yikes, but also that explains a lot. Maud can only bring herself to be with a man who is weak/effeminate (?) enough to justify whatever weird psyche Byatt has imagined up for her, but still she needs to get over her inhibitions and under him because... reasons. I don't know.

(Height is also interesting here as a point of contrast- Byatt makes Maud taller than Roland to make a point about how on the one hand she retains the power but on the other hand there is now even more of her that has to surrender. Peter and Harriet are the same medium height and wear the same size gown.)

I think the thing that most stuns me is how regressive Possession feels when it comes to gender politics on relationships than Gaudy Night does. I'd need a whole other post to talk about this, but the theme of Possession seems to me to be "relationships that produce things (whether art or children) are worth more than ones that don't." Roland is better with Maud than with Val because Val is a second rate scholar who drags him down (while supporting him financially) and Ash is better with LaMotte than with Ellen because LaMotte didn't only inspire his writing (Ellen's contributions are described only in the negative "didn't impede"), she gave him the child that Ellen refused to. Incidentally, in both cases it's the man pursuing a relationship that will give HIM something... But, to paraphrase Peter in Busman's Honeymoon, one wouldn't want to regard relationships in that agricultural light. Gaudy Night is about how two people can produce great things without each other but choose to be with each other for their own, and each other's, happiness. They aren't each less apart, and as I noted in a prior post, they don't need to solve cases together or conjoin their work in order for their relationship to be worth something. It is worth it for them to be together because it encourages some kind of inner balance within them and between them, as people. They enjoy collaborating but that is by no means the basis of their love (and, incidentally, I think that a lot of, if not most, detective series romances fail this basic test of "would they have fallen in love if they were accountants who met on a dating app." Peter and Harriet definitely would have- would, say, Albert Campion and Amanda Fitton have? I do NOT think so).

And here's the thing- another reason why Byatt's quote above is so off-putting is that it makes it clear that not only in the text but on a meta level, the purpose of the relationships is to prove a Point. I found Roland and Maud to have zero chemistry, and honestly I was expecting them to get together 3/4 of the way through and split up at the end when it turned out they had nothing in common- it seemed like that kind of book. I was kind of stunned when they only got together at the end in an "it's meant to be" way because nothing about it seemed meant to be. They were stuck together by that one thing and they each apparently needed the relationship for some kind of self-actualization or historical rhyming or other. (Whatever I say about Ash and LaMotte... at least they seemed to like each other!)

Peter and Harriet... they get together because they love each other. Do they change over the course of Gaudy Night, and over the course of the other books they share together? Of course they do. But if it makes sense, I'll put it this way- Harriet doesn't accept Peter's proposal as proof that she got over her hangups, Harriet gets over her hangups so that she can accept Peter's proposal. Her hangups only matter because they were keeping her from this particular kind of happiness- she was a fully actualized person even with them. She is a person who does things for human reasons so that she can build a mutually happy life with the person she loves, not a little plot mannequin being moved around in order to tell the author's desired Message. People can say what they want about Gaudy Night and its flaws, but despite the intricacies of its construction, nobody can call the characters' actions and motivations anything but brutally human.

Whether within their universes or on a meta level, the books have SUCH different things to say about the value and nature of love, the place of and purpose of sex, the place of art and intellectual accomplishment in relationships, all of the above in the context of femininity… and I can't help but feel that each time, Gaudy Night wins the contest. It's possible I'm missing something major about Possession, and maybe sometime I'll post the rest of my notes about the things I disliked and people can tell me what I'm wrong about- but if nothing else it made me appreciate Gaudy Night even more, so for that I'm grateful.

[morganski-19]

I don't think y'all understand the insane ego boost whenever someone comments/reblogs on my fics.

Like. I am the farthest thing from an egotistical person. Yeah sure, I have my topics that I'm knowledgable about and can be quite confident when talking about that information. But ego, no.

So like, when I get a comment or a reblog with someone giving me a minuscule moment of their time, I think I'm the greatest person on the planet. You took your time out of your day to not only read my stuff, BUT ALSO tell me how much you like it, AND MAYBE share your own analyses of my work. Woah.

Sometimes you guys tell me things that I didn't even plan to come across in the fic, it just made sense in my brain. But then you put it into words and I'm like, yeah that is what I meant it to mean. So then I get all proud and giddy and reread the comment/reblog MULTIPLE TIMES. Like who does that?

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.