#i am SO EXCITED for herb plants to start showing up in stores

[fantabulisticity]

2 things:

1. KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. I finally repotted my little plants! They're not so top-heavy now 😅

[tinyshe]

Garden Report & Frugal Living 24.05.25

The weather has been about as predictable as my vigor and agility. Some days I garden from the window, moaning about why do all the limbs that need to be trimmed are the only ones with an abundance of fruit? where did that plant come from (did I really plant that there?!!). Getting actively passionate about the rodents not only digging up the beans and sweet peas but literally throwing them almost a meter away from where I had planted them. Then getting sidetracked with the wonders of the rhododendrons that are blooming overhead or the wondrous green hazel leaves creating a dancing dapple shade... so much to do.

I need to be out in the grow boxes but limited on my part. Staying closer to the house, I have to be content with creating a couple of window boxes. One is full of overly gaudy and bright flowers and the other dainty fairy like blooms. I still have some veg starts to lay in. I need some help with sawing brush piles and beating back bamboo and vinca periwinkles that are a raging horde.

The hens are outraged that I won't let them out every time I appear for a moment outside. There is just too much chaos with the neighbors and their animals to let me feel they are safe unattended. More than once I have had to rescue a frightened hen due to the neighbors and their dog. Not being a trusting person of other's abilities/ lack of doing the right thing, it is too much stress letting the hens run about. I am contemplating Escallonia shrubs for a hedge barrier. Wonderful for bees and birds, evergreen which unfortunately the rodents like to live under unless trimmed up which defeats the properties of a dense ground to sky thicket like hedge. But then, that is just more things to tend and trim.

The cherry plums are almost ready. If we could get a couple of warm days, we'd be in them. The nettles are not as thick as last year. The shade has gotten deeper over their bed so they are not as robust. Its might be time to lift them and move to another space.

Got some recycled cinder blocks and considering making a tower of sorts ... a nest for my poor little crambe who is languishing away in an inadequate plastic pot .... sorry and neglect amoung the Chinese chives! But with all the roly poly pill/sow bugs to eat soil matters and plants from the bottoms up, its a matter not only of aesthetically pleasing but easy lift and replenish as the soil that magically gets digested away in a million little tummies. Sun is also a must which is at a premium in the garden. News flash: Black salsify, also known as oyster root, viper's herb, Spanish salsify, or a serpent root (formerly known as Scorzonera hispanica) that I planted long ago (like years!) is so robust and may bloom! This is exciting as that it has struggled for years. I let a burdock root take hold in the same pot last year and it must have stimulated it. I wish my camera worked! It is so exciting to me and I wish I could share the joy through pictures!

So my frugal tip is again garden bound ... I really hope I haven't told you about this (I think about things too much then get lost in the 'did I say that out loud already?'). Anyway, for deeper watering needs/ prevent water run off cut the bottom out of juice/water bottles jugs (plastic), dig hole and bury with just a little lip showing. Water through filling the home made root funnel. You can fill with small stones/pebbles or glass bauble blobs from florist/craft store if you don't like the open pit look or even scallop/ lace cut the funnels for a more decorative frill.

Garden on my friends, whether its from the grow box, window box, little pot, counter top sprouts or your imagination in a dream, get out there and enjoy it.

[the-garden-in-the-briar-patch]

January 13, 2023

First day of gardening, hooray! Let's take a look at what we have going on here.

Here we have lavender, rosemary, and an assortment of other herbs (more rosemary, oregano, and thyme, although the thyme is turned toward the wall and you can't see it in this photo). These are established plants from last year, here's hoping they make it through the winter. I brought them inside because it's very very cold out, but they're doing alright so far.

Here's my jade, she's outgrowing her pot again and I'm going to have to be on the lookout for a new one. She's doing really well; I've had her for nearly a year and she's lovely. I gave her a bit more soil today because her roots were starting to show, but she won't need watering for probably a few more weeks.

I also found that she dropped a leaf, so I'm going to try propagating that. No photos of lil' jade yet, I'll put one in tomorrow's update.

The acorns! I'm excited about these guys, I picked them up in November and they've been stratifying for two months. They cracked like they're supposed to, so into the soil they go. I look forward to seeing these funky little lads grow, I hope they do well!

Sage! I got some sage from the grocery store, and I used some of it in dumplings. I'm going to try and propagate some of the remaining stalks, we'll see how it works. These three are all going to water-prop for now, we'll see how these ladies are doing in a few weeks. I'm not optimistic because they are grocery store plants and possibly were frozen, but it's just possible that I might get roots off of them.

Before and after on Basilisk the basil. I had a big genovese basil plant last year, and it ended up dying in December. But I was able to water prop this little guy, and he's got a lot of roots now. I potted him today, hope he survives that.

These are the peas, in the traditional egg carton. I've got twelve right now, and when I get another egg carton available, I'll be planting more. Yes, I'm running out of window space, it's fine.

Saving the most exciting for last, these are milkweed! I collected the seeds myself in November, and I'm very excited to see them grow. I planted about half of what I collected, so if I mess this up, I'll try again later in the spring.

As far as future plans go, I started stratifying the cherries today, so they'll be ready to plant as the end of March.

I'd love to get some pepper seeds, probably jalapeños and/or bell peppers, because I am not ambitious. I also have some butternut squash seeds, so those will probably get planted at some point in the future.

[carnegiemuseumnaturalhistory]

What Do Botanists Do On Saturday?

by Sarah C. Williams

Here in the section of Botany we’ve adapted in some strange ways, just like plants do, to the changes of the past year and a half. Let’s learn about the off days of some of our Super Scientists in the Section of Botany!

Mason Heberling, Assistant Curator of Botany

Collecting specimens has become a focus as more time was able to be spent in the field when we weren’t allowed to be at the museum. As our new Botany Hall entrance video shows, Assistant Curator of Botany, Mason Heberling and Collections Manager Bonnie Isaac collect plant specimens on a pretty regular basis. They also snag iNaturalist observations for these plants, taking photos that show what the plant and habitat looked before being picked and pressed.

Mason studies forest understory plants, in particular, introduced species and wildflowers in our changing environment. Mason has a bunch of fun projects going on this summer, ranging from coordinating seed collections of an uncommon native grass to send to Germany for a large greenhouse study to working with a team of students to study the effects of climate change and introduced shrubs on our forest wildflowers.

In addition to work in the field, the herbarium has been a busy place this summer too! Mason has been working with Alyssa McCormick, an undergraduate research intern from Chatham University, to examine stomata (the pores on leaves for air exchange for plants to “breathe”) and leaf nutrients in everyone’s favorite plant – poison ivy!  Poison ivy has been previously shown to grow bigger and cause nastier skin rashes with increasing carbon dioxide in our air due to fossil fuel emissions. Alyssa is using specimens collected as long ago as the 1800s to examine long term changes in poison ivy.

Mason, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“This summer has been a lot of going to various places around western PA like Presque Isle or Idlewild to get out and enjoy the fresh air with my family. I can also be found most Saturdays around the house doing chores!”

Bonnie Isaac, Collection Manager

Bonnie, one of CMNH’s TikTok celebrities, and All-Star in the Mid-Atlantic plant world, has spent a lot of the past year doing fieldwork. Her PA Wild Resource Grant involved looking at most of the populations for 10 Pennsylvania rare species. She and husband Joe Isaac spent many days on the road and a few in the bog! You can see some of her videos about these unique Pennsylvania finds on Carnegie Museum of Natural History’s Tiktok account: @carnegiemnh.

She diligently keeps track of various data points from latitude and longitude and elevation, to flower color, size, and associated species within a habitat. In addition to trying to make sure the plant names in our database are correct, she has also been busy georeferencing some of our specimens so that we can see on a map where each one was collected.

Bonnie, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“On most Saturdays I am either home taking care of my many chickens or getting some exercise in one of my kayaks with my spousal unit, Joe. I sometime even take a fishing pole for a ride or see how many different kinds of plants I can find on a hike. As long as I can get outside with Joe, I’m happy.”

Cynthia Pagesh, Herbarium Assistant

Specimens make their way home to the museum, where we assure they’re bone dry, flat as a pancake, and have been frozen twice to get rid of any pests. They then find their way into the nimble hands of Cynthia Pagesh, our resident plant mounter. Cynthia has luckily been able to do some mounting both onsite and at home over this past year, really honing her craft. She uses Elmer’s glue, dental and sculpture tools, linen tape, and a paintbrush akin to a magic wand: transforming roots, stems, flowers, and fruits into scientific and artistic renderings on an 11.5x16.5” archival herbarium sheet.

Mounting can be very detailed and challenging: wrangling a dry and brittle rare plant you want to salvage every detail from, or an oversized leaf ‘how-will-this-all-fit?’ ordeal, or finessing a delicate petal that glue is especially heavy on. Bulky bits, crumbly bits, spiky no nos: Cyn handles them all. Her work is just as much an art as it is a science. When she’s not making masterpieces, she’s probably doing something with plants.

Cyn, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“You can find me on Saturdays helping prune young trees in my community, collecting wildflower seeds or in my kitchen making preserves or homemade pasta noodles.  I volunteer in vegetable, herb and flower gardens.  I have a pollinator garden at home and raise Monarch caterpillars.  I tag and release them to migrate south.

There are lots of Community Science projects for people of all ages: ask someone to help you find one related to a subject you have an interest in.  I have an interest in pollinators including bees.  I participate in a Community Science Project every Summer that counts types of bees on certain plants when they bloom.”

Iliana DiNicola

After another stint in the freezer for bugs-be-gone, it’s everyone’s favorite day: Picture Day! Each plant: sturdy and mounted, all data logged and super official, makes their way to the imaging station to spend some time under the bright lights. Since 2018, students, interns, and volunteers have lovingly held these plants’ hands as they get their close ups. We take high definition photos using a specially made lightbox and special software.

While this is part of a limited project, called the Mid-Atlantic Megalopolis, we are still hard at work going into our last year of the time we were given. This past schoolyear and summer, former Pitt student, Iliana DiNicola was taking pictures for us on the regular while also interning with the Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy. She just graduated and I’m excited to hear what she does on her Saturdays in the future.

Iliana, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“I just graduated from the University of Pittsburgh with a degree in Environmental Studies, and I am now on the lookout for any jobs related to the environment back in my hometown of Phoenix, Arizona. I am interested in working with anything from sustainability, to policy or political work, or maybe even something more related to ecology and outdoor work.

On a Saturday, I am definitely helping clean my house since I am a semi-clean freak, I love to go hiking if the weather isn't too hot, enjoy drawing and working on any art projects, or work on my future hydroponics garden.

As somebody who interned for Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy, I highly recommend participating in any camps or activities the conservancy has to offer. It was super fun learning more about Pittsburgh's history and ecology and getting to teach kids about these topics, alongside participating in fun outdoor activities.”

Sarah Williams, Curatorial Assistant

Next up, Sarah Williams, the Curatorial Assistant in the Section of Botany, is overseeing the digitization project, morphing the photos from raw camera files into smaller files for sharing and detailed files for archival storing using Adobe Lightroom. She takes the images from the newly photographed specimens and makes sure they get uploaded onto the Mid-Atlantic Herbaria Consortium’s website to be shared far and wide across the world.

There is also a lot she does in sorting, filing, and taking care of the specimens as well. She does a bunch of scheduling, hiring, and training of work study students, interns, and volunteers. We consider her a jack of all trades.

Sarah, where can we find you on a Saturday?

“Most weekends I work with a local catering company called Black Radish Kitchen. I usually end up serving delicious vegetable and farm focused meals at least one day a week, commonly Saturdays because they’re prime for celebrations. The re-start up since the pandemic has been cautious, and I’m excited to be amongst people and help them to make mouthwatering memories again. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for over a decade and the skills I’ve learned doing it as well as the friends I’ve made are matchless. It has a big piece of my heart.

I also moved into a new house this year about five minutes from my mom, so if I’m not running to say hi to her and ‘borrow’ some groceries, I’m doing laundry, dusting and yardwork… but only after I sleep in, eat some delicious breakfast with my partner, and hang out with our two cats, Santi and Gil.”

We hope you enjoyed getting to know us here in the Section of Botany, look forward to updates and more introductions in the future as we continue to host volunteers, federal work-study students, and interns on their journeys to learn even more about the plant kingdom.

Sarah Williams is Curatorial Assistant in the Section of Botany at Carnegie Museum of Natural History. Museum employees are encouraged to blog about their unique experiences and knowledge gained from working at the museum.

[al-pomegranate-seeds]

The hands they held

“Roman looked at the flower shop that set itself across the street from his tattoo parlor. How weird. He was almost sure the building had looked as boring as the other empty buildings in the street when he closed the shop the night before.The front of the small building was not as covered with vines and flowers that surely didn’t grow together as it was now, of that he was certain.“

Pairings: Logince, DLAMP in later installments

Urban fantasy

Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, Genderfluid Logan Sanders, Flower Shop and Tattoo Parlor au(but make it magical(not the first one to do that but I feel proud))

Warnings: Food mention(it’s Roman listing out some food and then they mentioning it after some times)

Characters: Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders, Dot(Cartoon Therapy)

Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705440

Roman looked at the flower shop that set itself across the street from his tattoo parlor. How weird. He was almost sure the building had looked as boring as the other empty buildings in the street when he closed the shop the night before. The front of the small building was not as covered with vines and flowers that surely didn’t grow together as it was now, of that he was certain. The visuals were right up his alley, though, just the right amount of dramatics one needed in their life to make it interesting. A big sign sat on top the glass doors, displaying the name “Berry’s Flowers and Herbs”.

And then, as he was lost in thought admiring and trying to see if he recognized any of the flowers, a man almost as tall as Roman himself, with deep brown hair and brown skin, wearing a simple black polo with jeans and a gardening apron, opened the door and put up a sign saying “OPEN” in dark blue letters, before turning around and inspecting the streets, and then looking directly in Roman’s direction and – holy shit.

Roman was in love.

Before we continue telling the story, let’s lay down some facts about our current favorite boy. First, Roman and Remus’ mother was an elf. Second, elves, besides a long lifespan and a somewhat inflated ego, have better working eyes than most humans. Which is how, even a street away, Roman could notice the beautiful sharp angles of the man’s face, the gorgeous silver shade of his eyes behind his square glasses, and the adorable glittering freckles that covered his face, his neck and his arms.

Roman kept gawking at the glittering man like a fish as he went back inside the shop and closed the glass doors.

“Ooooh, sweet, that’s closer than where I buy.” Remus’s voice sounded suddenly, startling Roman out of his daydreaming.

“Oh, cool.” Roman said automatically, before turning to Remus, who was cleaning his hands with a rag. Roman decided to simply not ask how he had gotten them dirty. “Hey, Rem.”

Remus imeddiately squinted. “What the fuck do you want?”

“What? Can’t a man just call his bro by a nickname to show his brotherly love?”

“You do that by calling me Trash Man, you only call me Rem when you want something, what the fuck is it?”

“Oh I wasn’t going to ask for anything, I was just going to ask if, I dunno, you maybe needed some more ingredients, maybe the ones you have are running out or something, I could maybe go pick it up for you...” Roman trailed off.

Remus just kept squinting at Roman for another 20 seconds, before flicking his eyes to some point behind him. Roman turned, only to see the man from before pushing a table on wheels with flower vases to the front of one of the big glass windows, before going back inside.

Roman could tell he was staring as the man went back inside, and when he looked back at Remus, that shithead smile was glued to his face like a dry face mask.

“Oooh, you got a cruuuuuush?” Remus said in a sing-songy voice, and Roman didn’t even have the energy to pretend to be mad, so he just kept staring at his brother’s face. “You know, now that you mention it, I think I’ve used up all of my marigolds, and I’m close to running out of rosemary...”

Roman immediately perked up. “So maybe, your very selfless and very helpful brother could pick some up for you?”

“Ah, yes, my brother who has no ulterior motives besides being helpful, of course.” Remus said, grabbing one of the sketch books before ripping out a page and writing something down. “Ok, there’s more than just what I said, I need some alyssum and some chrysantemus and some dandelions...”

“Ok, noted.” Roman said, grabbing the paper and scanning the list without actually reading it. He already remebered only the dandelion out of the flowers Remus had mentioned.

As Roman was heading out by the door, Remus screamed “Use protection!”

“I’ll murder you!” Roman screamed back cheerily.

He wasn’t prepared to enter the shop.

As soon as he step foot past the door, he realized the air felt different. It wasn’t exactly pleasant or unpleasant, but it was distinctly different than the air around human populated cities. Roman was almost sure he could hear little bells, and it felt like the air was caressing his skin. The walls were covered in shelves with different plants displays, the floor was a magenta and indigo checkered tile with golden edges that somehow managed to not be obnoxious, and the ceiling was entirely glass with golden metal swirls. The space was well lit, all of the flowers in perfect display.

“Salutations.” Sounded a voice, and Roman immediately looked back to the counter that sat at the back of the store, behind which he could see the glittering man and wow, he was even more beautiful up close.

“Hello there!” Roman said, managing to hide the fact that he felt distinctively out of breath at the sight that laid before him, which he wasn’t completely sure wasn’t a hallucination.

The man’s glittering silver freckles were even more visible from this close, and Roman could also see some that were smaller, less glittery but just as breathtaking, and he also noticed that the man’s hair also glittered slightly.

“...Can I help you?”

“Oh. Oh! Yes, yes, my brother sent me to buy some flowers, and-“ he started before realizing he didn’t actually know what to say after. “...and here is the list. With the flowers.”

He dramatically handed the list over to the man, who simply grabbed it and started Reading. A couple seconds passed before he raised an eyebrow.

“A...Kiss?”

“Whut. Wait.” Roman hastily grabbed the paper and quickly scanned the list, eventually finding the “kiss” item with a heart dotting the i. “Oh, that motherfucker knew I wasn’t going to read it, I swear this is just a prank – “

“Not to worry. Let’s simply ignore this and I’ll grab the flowers.” The man said, and set to do just that, quickly scanning the shelves and putting the flowers in clear plastic rolls.

Roman managed to stay silent for about five seconds.

“So, I don’t remember seeing the shop here yesterday.”

The man seemed to be startled for a bit, before answering “You wouldn’t have, we moved in during the night.”

“Hmm.” Roman hummed before looking for something else to say. “We?”

“...Yes. Me and my parents. My mother and I run the shop.”

“Oh, marvelous, so it’s a Family business! You know, me and my brother run the tattoo parlor across the street, we do tattoos with various magical properties. You should come visit, my name is Roman, I use he/him pronouns, and my brother is Remus, he/him pronouns too.”

“...Logan. He/him today.” He – Logan – said, turning to the dandelions. “Are you always such a conversationalist when buying flowers?”

That made Roman pause.

“Oh, um, I hadn’t – Am I making your uncomfortable?”

“Not to worry, I am simply not used to such...Friendly customers. But this is pleasant.”

Roman sighed relieved.

“I am not opposed to visiting your parlor, if you’ll have me.”

He simply smiled.

“Well hello there!” Roman said, opening the glass doors and spotting Logan behind the counter, like last time.

“Salutations, Roman. They/them today.” Roman nodded, leaning on the counter.

“So, how’s the day going for you, Specs?”

Logan went a few moments without answering, probably because of the nickname. “Pleasant enough. A few customers have come by. None of them was unpleasant.”

“That’s indeed pleasant.” Roman turned around, leaning on the counter with his hips now, looking around at the shop, and noticing the flowers on his left looked more perfect than a lot of flowers he had seen in his life. “Hey, Logan, did you do something to those flowers over there?”

Logan seemed to perk up a bit. They fixed their glasses before answering. “Indeed. Those are flowers I separate for decorations, I enchant them to stay alive for longer. This enchantment can mess with cooking and potions, however, so I always ask before picking them.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I hadn’t thought of that.” They stayed silent then, Roman zoning out as he looked at the flowers and spun his necklace on his finger. “Hey Specs, how old are you?”

“I – Well.” Logan started, before pausing and thinking more. “I’m forty years old, technically, but I’m a fairy, so I haven’t grown beyond being what humans would consider twenty five to twenty nine.”

“Oh, you’re a fairy?”

“Well, quarter fairy. My father is half fairy, my mother is human. They had me when mother was twenty  seven years old, and I grew up in the same speed as a human until I was around twenty four years.”

“Marvelous. I’m half elf. I’m thirty  four years old, and yeah, basically around that age. I would still be a teenager if both of my parents were elves.”

They stayed in silence for a few minutes.

“Roman, do you...Do you like outer space?”

“Well, yeah.” Roman said, before turning back to Logan. “I don’t know a lot, but I think it’s fascinating.”

“Would you...” They swallowed, then, sounding nervous. “Would you like to hear about it?”

“Of course. Tell me everything you know.”

Logan smiled, then, with barely restrained excitement, and Roman felt like he could listen to them for hours if they would always smile like that.

“Hello there, my favorite nerd!” Roman said, entering the shop with his his arms spread and holding a paper bag.

“Salutations, Roman. She/her today. Do you bring anything besides your dramatic entrance?” Logan said, with a small smile that never failed to make Roman lose his train of thought for a few seconds.

“I sure do, Smarty McSpecson, I bring sustenance!” He laid the paper bag on the counter. “It’s a bowl of goose stew with mushrooms, fruit salad with honey, aaaaaaaand pork filled buns.”

“Sounds delicious. I’ll have the buns.”

“Marvelous! I’ll eat some of the stew. I’ve got homemade mayonnaise too, if you’d like to add it.” Then he went to open the bag.

“Wait. Mother will take over the shop for this afternoon, so I’m free in ten minutes. There is a small kitchen in the back, and I think it would be pleasant to eat on a table instead of this counter.”

“Oh, that would be cool.” Roman said, trying to play it cool. It almost felt like she was inviting him on a date, but surely that wouldn’t be it? Logan was just nice like that. She was also very direct and probably would be forward in asking for a date. Yeah.

“Come on, it’s behind this door over here.” Roman then followed Logan into the aforementioned door, finding a small kitchen that seemed to be decorated with a light yellow color scheme. All the counters and cabinets were light yellow, the counters having white tops, the fridge and the stove were both black, and the floor tile was white. The kitchen was pretty small, only wide enough to fit a small round table and two chairs, and there was a floor to ceiling rectangular glass window behind one of the chairs.

“You can sit down while I get mother, I’m sure she won’t be incovenienced to come down ten minutes early.” Logan said while getting some plates and bowls from the cabinets, then laying them on the table.

“Ok. I’ll be here waiting.” Roman said, sitting on the chair facing the window. He may or may not have been thinking about how gorgeous Logan would look framed by the window and the plants outside.

Logan stepped into a door that led to a white staircase, leaving Roman to think and analyze the small kitchen.

Now that he had the opportunity to pay attention, he could notice little things he hadn’t noticed when he first entered the kitchen : the white countertops were stained at some spots with some sort of colorful pigment, there was a black paper on which someone drew constellations with white crayon, and there was a clear glass cookie jar filled with dried flowers on one counter.

About five minutes later, Logan came back with who Roman assumed was her mother, a chubby, dark skinned lady with short black hair wearing a beige argyle sweater over a white button up and beige skirt, plus a pair of red glasses and bright red lipstick. He noticed Logan seemed distinctly more glittery around the face.

“Oh hello there dear, you must be the famed Roman!” The lady said, rushing over to him and grabbing his hands. “I’m Dot, this one’s mom, I’ve heard so many things about you – “

“Mother...” Logan said with a warning tone, her voice not managing to hide her embarassment.

“Oh Logan talked about you so much, you’re every bit as handsome as she described – “

“Mother!” Logan exclaimed, and now her face was shining so much it looked like it was encrusted with tiny gems. Roman was almost hipnotized enough to not realize that was probably her way of blushing.

“What? It’s true! He’s as handsome as sherpherd pie!” Dot responded, and Roman was as confused as he was flattered.

“Mother, that’s not – forty seven years of marriage, and that’s what you pick up of father’s vocabulary?” Logan said, bafflement not being able to hid the awfully fond tone of her voice.

“Oh don’t pick on me, you know I’m telling the truth.” Dot said, before looking at the shop. “Oh dear, I better get started on that shop running thing.” She said, before kissing Roman and Logan’s cheeks and stepping out into the shop, closing the kitchen door.

They stayed silent froma few moments before Logan sighed.

“I love my mother, but she can be a bit overwhelming. I hope she didn’t bother you too much.”

“Oh, she didn’t bother me at all. So, um, as handsome as shepherd pie?” Roman asked, still a bit baffled by the term.

“It’s an expression father uses. It’s an equivalent translation coming from the faery language my father’s specific nation spoke. It’s a bit outdated, but it was used most often to describe someone the person was attracted to. Of course,” Logan said all of this while grabbing the cuttlery and sitting down on the other chair. She paused while adjusting herself on the chair, before continuing with a fondly amused smile. “she wasn’t hitting on you, don’t worry.” Logan went to grab the pork buns, while murmuring to herself low enough that, if Roman wasn’t part elf, he surely wouldn’t have been able to hear it. “Not for herself, at least.”

“Not for herself?” Roman asked. Logan’s eyes went wide as saucers, and she almost dropped the bun she was holding.

“Oh you – you heard that?” Logan asked, adjusting her glasses (which Roman had noticed was a bit of a tic of hers). Her face, that had gone back to the normal amount of glittering, suddenly was shiny enough that Roman wanted to grab her face and kiss her senseless.

“If it’s any comfort, I only heard because elven hearing is a stronger than humans’. But seriously, what did you mean?”

“Oh, it’s nothing important, it’s silly, it’s just – mother is certain you have been flirting with me, you see, and no matter how much I tell her she’s being foolish, she won’t quit putting these thoughts into my head, and I swear it wasn’t on purpose, I didn’t even felt like these before but then she mentioned it and I couldn’t stop thinking about how handsome you are and how nice you are and how you made an effort to befriend me when we had just moved in and I didn’t know anyone and I didn’t have any energy to go out and make friends – “ she was rambling now, her speech getting more fast paced and anxious the longer Roman went without saying anything.

Well. She seemed to think Roman wasn’t interested. He had to do something about that.

Logan was gesturing wildly with her hands, moving them up and down in an effort to calm herself, so Roman grabbed one of them in an effort to effectively distract her.

“So,” he said, laying their hands down palms up on the table and drawing tiny circles on the wrist. “I most definitely was flirting. I most definitely think you are very handsome and very nice. And I most definitely think you are as handsome as shepherd pie.”

Logan was silent for a few moments before saying, with a slight breathless note on her voice, “...oh.”

“Yeah.” Roman said, before bringing Logan’s hand up his mouth and kissing the palm.

Logan giggled. She honest to ghosts, real as magic, giggled.

“So,” Roman said, putting their hands back on the table. “do you want to try this?”

“I – most definitely.” She answered, nodding quickly with a smile on her face.

They started eating, then, and nothing changed but the hands they held and the soft smiles.

@tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors 

[youllallriseintheink]

A one-off request for @lonelyghostwriter: a story about Joey introducing Henry to the more innocent side of magic. This is just a goofy, whimsical ball of fun, and Joey x Henry is implied. This is the last one-off before I’m finishing “The Angel of the Ink Machine.”

The Boris had come out perfect.

The Boris had come out perfect!

And then it had decked him and run away to God knew where, but it had come out perfect! Joey was ecstatic. All he had to do now was hunt the creature down and make a few more and his dream would be fulfilled! And in the meantime, he had one more dream that he needed to fulfill, one that concerned his dear partner, Henry.

Despite sharing so much of his life and soul with Henry, he’d always kept the magic secret from him. He’d moved nearly all his supplies into the studio when Henry had moved in. Even the spell he needed to do regularly to keep disease at bay, he completed before Henry got up in the morning, with a pentagram hidden under the carpeting in their closet. But seeing their cartoon creations brought to life was worth the risk of scaring him- and anyhow, Joey Drew had planned how he’d do this years ago.

After dealing with Buddy’s body and before coming home that night, Joey made calls to Allison and Sammy. It was late, and in the excitement he’d forgotten that he’d fired Allison out of anger mere hours ago. Thankfully he’d been able to bribe her into one more session of potion-making. Sammy hadn’t picked up at all, but Joey could make do without him.

---

Henry woke up, far too early, to Joey shaking him awake with a big smile on his face.

“Huh? What is it?” Henry asked.

“I have a whole day planned for us. Get up! We’re meeting Allison soon. There’s something- a lot of somethings, actually- that I need to show you. You have an hour to get ready. Alright?”

“Uh, okay!” Henry was kind of used to Joey being full of surprises. He was fairly sure this would be a good one- they usually were. Within an hour, he was in the passenger seat of Joey’s car.

Joey took a deep breath. This would be the difficult part- admitting all he’d been hiding from Henry for the past few years. “So, Henry... you know how I tell you that Sammy and I go bowling together? Well, that’s not entirely true. Sammy and I share a hobby, but it’s one I didn’t know how to explain to you without showing it to you, and... anyhow, we perform magic together.”

Henry didn’t miss a beat. “Oh. Okay, the thought of Sammy doing stage magic is pretty strange. But it seems right up your alley- why did you hide it from me?”

“It’s not stage magic. And you’ll see why later.”

“Oh. Um.” Henry wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Great. I can’t wait!”

A while later, they pulled up to a lovely brick house on the outskirts of town. Over the short wooden fence, Henry could see a lovely hutch of three rabbits. The garden had a lot of browning plants in it that clearly weren’t getting enough attention. “Nice place- must have cost a lot to get one in this area. Who lives here?” Henry asked.

“Allison,” Joey answered, ringing the doorbell. “I borrow books and buy potions off of her. And we’re going to make potions with her today.”

Thomas opened the door, rolled his eyes and called for Allison before retreating into the garage. Then, Allison popped her head in.

“Hey, guys! Sorry to call you here so early. But you know- early is the only time you can get fresh morning dew, and for what we’re making, that’s pretty important.”

“Of course,” Joey said. “I brought everything we’ll need. Let’s get cooking!”

Henry had been put to the task of chopping up herbs as Joey mixed three strangely-labelled vials into a pot of boiling water and Allison was outside collecting morning dew and whiskers from her rabbits. He was pretty sure at this point that this was some bizarre prank. Hopefully there would be some kind of payoff to it and this wasn’t just a waste of a Saturday, but at least Allison seemed pleasant enough.

“So, where do you get crow’s blood from?” Henry asked, a bit of sarcasm in his voice.

“A crow!” It didn’t seem like a good idea to tell Henry about the black market- at least, not yet.

“Okay. So, what’s this potion supposed to do?”

“You’ll see,” Joey said cryptically, “this is actually a pretty powerful one.”

A few minutes later, everything had been added, and the potion had boiled for just long enough, according to Allison. She scooped some out into coffee mugs with a ladle and handed it out to Joey and Henry.

Henry stared down apprehensively at the unappetizing mix of herbs and hair floating in the clearish-brown substance. “What’s it going to taste like?”

Allison smiled. “About how it looks, I’m afraid. But go on, down the hatch. Oh, and the effect might startle you, but it isn’t supposed to last long, so just try to have fun with it.”

Henry did as he was told, and Allison took his cup. He started to feel... heavy, and off-balance, and dropped down onto his hands. All traces of red melted from his vision, leaving the world in tones of blue, yellow, and green. Joey ruffled his hair, and it seemed as though his skull was smaller and thinner than usual. He said something that Henry heard as gibberish. Then, Joey took a sip of his drink, handed the cup to Allison, and before Henry’s eyes, turned into a black lab.

Henry yelped and skittered backwards, and yelped again once he caught sight of his own paws. But Allison was laughing- she seemed unconcerned, and she had said that this was temporary. So, Henry rolled with it. Allison ushered the two of them into the backyard, where they played fetch. A while later, as Henry was trotting back to Allison with the tennis ball in his mouth, he felt his teeth dull and his center of balance change once again, and he spat the ball back onto the ground. Joey came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Well, Henry? Do you believe in magic now?” Joey asked.

“Yeah, it would be pretty hard to deny at this point.”

“Thank you. Because I have a whole lot else to show you.”

Joey returned to Allison. “And thank you! I’ll miss this, you know.”

“I’ll miss it, too,” Allison admitted. “I’ve never made a potion this advanced before- and I might not have much use for it, but imagine the kind of money I could make from this! Oh, and thanks for testing it for me.” Allison went quiet a moment. “Let’s keep in touch, alright?”

Joey weighed his bitterness with his desire to do just that. “Sure.”

With that, Joey and Henry got back into Joey’s car and they took off to their next destination.

“So... you’ve been doing stuff like that for years?”

“Well, yes and no. Allison is more of a specialist than I am. Unfortunately, the stuff I’m most into has a bad reputation, but I’m going to show you that it can be just as innocent as Allison’s potions.”

Henry nodded. After literally turning into a dog, he wasn’t even going to try and guess what Joey had in store. After a few minutes, Henry found himself gazing out at a wooded area on the edge of town. Henry figured that Joey must have been driving to another city, but instead he pulled over onto the side of the road and  ushered Henry into the brush, taking with him a bag. Finally, Joey reached a clearing and dropped the bag.

“This is the place,” he announced.

It was an untamed natural area, with no trails made through it. No one was likely to come out here. It wasn’t pretty either- just a dusty field surrounded by trees.

“Sammy and I spent our first few sessions here. I spent some of my first sessions here alone, too- learning to summon things. And now, I’m going to summon something for you. A demonstration.” Joey’s back was turned to Henry- he was scared of how he’d react.

Henry was beginning to worry- Joey sounded like he was trying to seem positive, but it wasn’t working.

“What kinds of things? And how?”

Joey met Henry’s eyes. Henry didn’t seem too afraid yet. Still, there was no easy way to explain this. “We summon spirits and Gods from the spirit realm using pentagrams. The spirit realm isn’t hell, spirits aren’t demons, and Gods aren’t the Christian God. No religion is right about everything. Spirits aren’t angels and demons- they aren’t fully good or evil any more than people are. But it’s the more reckless ones- the fast-and-easy-with-the-rules ones- that are likely to come when you’re summoning one. Pentagrams are like a ‘help wanted’ add for spirits and Gods. They have a job description, which are in the pentagram itself. Pentagrams are like writing in their language. And, they have an offering of pay. The sacrifice for spirits is generally flesh or blood. Tasks that are more difficult for them, you want to leave out more of a payment, or the ritual has a higher chance of failing- no one took the bait, basically. Or, someone did, but thought your offer was so insulting that they found a way to bungle it up. Gods… they demand a greater sacrifice. But summoning Gods is considered insane even by pentagram users. A spirit won’t escape unless your pentagram has line breaks, and there’s a limit to how much damage they can do. As for Gods, well… even I don’t know how to contain them, or the consequences of letting them escape…”

Joey broke his somber monologue with a bright smile. “So, wanna ask a demon to grab us some lunch?”

“Uh...”

“Okay, I know I made that sound scary. But I’ve... actually been doing a summoning ritual every morning to keep myself healthy for years. It’s no big deal.”

Henry smiled awkwardly. “Can I maybe just watch?”

Joey smiled back. “Sure.”

And so, Henry watched. Joey drew up a pentagram in the dirt, lit a candle in its center, and then slit his wrist and let his blood drop onto the pentagram.

Henry rushed to the bag and pulled out a first aid kit to tend to Joey’s wound. Henry had seen the scars on Joey’s right hand before, and had seen them seem to grow and stay fresh, but he’d never gotten the chance to really look at them before.

“Y’know, this is actually a huge relief. I mean, it’s a lot of things, but... Joey, I thought you were self-harming, and I didn’t know how to bring it up. I’m glad you’re not.”

Joey smiled. “Thanks. So, are you okay with this?”

“I mean, I guess so. It seems shady, but you aren’t harming anyone.”

“Good. Because I’ve been working with the Gods of the spirit realm, and with their help, I brought one of our cartoons into existence. And I didn’t want to hide the magic from you anymore because I couldn’t imagine leaving you out of something that big! The toon I made is a Boris. He’s scared, and hiding somewhere in the studio. After lunch, will you help me coax him out of hiding?”

Henry’s face was lit up with awe and disbelief. “Oh my God. Of course! I can’t believe this! Joey, you should have told me sooner!”

Joey could practically feel the weight of secrecy leaving his shoulders. He still had to keep the murders away from Henry, of course, but he didn’t mind that. The murders weren’t a part of him. Magic was. “Thank you. I should have known I could trust you.”

At that moment, the pentagram glowed, and a picnic lunch sprang up from the ground.

“Let’s go see what those demons sent us for lunch.”

[askdragonagecompanions]

👀👀 dai romances finding out that the Inquisitor is a vampire...?

Dorian: Dorian first finds out after quite the harrowing battle. No one in the party had walked away unscathed. What truly worried Dorian was that the Inquisitor wouldn’t let any of the healers check his wounds. He just walked away from the battle and kept his nose and mouth covered. He had noticed plenty of odd behavior from the Inquisitor since he joined, even more since he and the Inquisitor started to spend more time together. Honestly? Dorian was just worried about the man. He’d seen the injury when the Inquisitor got it, stabbed right through by one of the Red Templars. Dorian doesn’t know why the Inquisitor won’t let any of the healers help him, but maybe his Amatus will at least let him take a look. When he gets to the Inquisitor’s room he hears things being tossed around and he immediately rushes in thinking that the Inquisitor is being attacked or robbed, or something. What he finds is the Inquisitor rummaging through his room, tossing things aside, clearly looking for something. He’s shirtless, and that’s when Dorian sees it. His side is completely fine, not even a scratch left. Healing magic would have made a scar, but the Inquisitor’s side looks like he wasn’t even touched in battle. Dorian and the Inquisitor look up at each other at the same time. Dorian sees the Inquisitor’s now black eyes and the long fangs in his mouth. For a moment his heart races. He’s heard tale of vampires, but he thought they were all fictional. Sure there were some in Tevinter who insisted Vampires were still out there... Maker it was breathtaking. In hindsight maybe Dorian should have been more scared, but all he could see was the dawning horror on his Amatus’s face having realized that Dorian knew what he truly was. Dorian steps towards him slowly. The Inquisitor makes his vampiric features recede and he looks away. Dorian hugs him from behind and sighs softly, “I’m... guessing you misplaced a vial of blood?” His voice is free of judgement. When the Inquisitor nods Dorian kisses his neck. “And I’m also going to assume you haven’t fed in a while, which was why you avoided the healers and us all day?” Another nod. “Well. I suppose, since we don’t want you losing control I can let you take some of mine.” He murmurs. “And don’t worry Amatus, the only thing this changes is that you’ll have to promise to be extra careful when leaving hickeys alright?” And there’s the smile Dorian’s been waiting for. Honestly with ancient Magisters turned Darkspawn and giant tears in the Fade? His Amatus being a vampire isn’t all that strange or terrifying. The Inquisitor has never hurt him, and so Dorian doesn’t fear that he will. He only worries that the Inquisitor isn’t taking proper care of himself. After battles Dorian distracts the other party members so that his amatus can collect blood from the fallen. He also starts asking questions, because he thought vampires would turn to dust in the sunlight. He’s fascinated by what the Inquisitor tells him.

Solas: Solas has known a few vampires in his time. Some are just as bloodthirsty as the tales say they are (but those vampires tend to have been just as bloodthirsty before they were turned), and most were just trying to adjust to their new life style. When Solas woke up he had been under the impression that vampires had all died out over the centuries. It was sad, but with how fearful humans were it wasn’t a surprise that they would have hunted the creatures down. So, when Solas starts to see evidence of a vampire in the midst of the Inquisition he’s quite surprised. It’s just small things, the apothecary starts running low on plants and herbs that Solas knows can be made into an effective salve to keep the sun from turning a vampire into ash. Some people begin to complain about little cuts that appeared out of nowhere. He would have investigated more but things began to grow increasingly stressful. It was on the journey to Skyhold that Solas began to suspect the Inquisitor might be the Vampire he had been noticing about. The longer they traveled the more anxious she seemed to become. She would start dawning more layers, though this could be explained by the cold air of the mountain, but she also looked a little gaunt. He could only assume that the blood she had stored was dwindling and that she was trying to ration it, if she was a vampire of course. It wouldn’t do anyone good if the Inquisitor went into a blood frenzy, so Solas prepared a vial of his own blood. He knew it would be potent enough to keep any vampire satiated for the rest of the journey, and he left it somewhere inconspicuous. A vampire would find it sure enough. Solas watched from a distance and when he saw that the Inquisitor was the one to pick it up it only confirmed his suspicions. His opinion of her didn’t change, in fact he was impressed that she was keeping it hidden so well. What Solas didn’t expect was to fall for the Inquisitor. She had such a brilliant mind, and she was so open to ideas about the Fade and spirits. Solas had been so blindsided that he fell in love before he could steel off his heart. One night they are together the Inquisitor seems more nervous than usual. When she finally speaks up she tells him that she’s a vampire and she starts to ramble but Solas just laughs gently and kisses her. “Ma Vhenan, I already knew.” His voice is soft as he cups her cheek. She looks shocked before replying, “You did? Why didn’t you say anything?” “It simply wasn’t my place, and clearly you were only taking what you needed. What you are doesn’t define you.”

Sera: Okay the only stories Sera knows about vampires is that they’re blood sucking demons who kill their victims by biting into their necks and drinking all the blood. Great for scary stories not for real life. She finds out because the Inquisitor tells her. They had just started getting serious and Sera was really excited, she really liked the Inquisitor. She really felt like she could trust her with everything and that Inky would always have her back. So when the Inquisitor told Sera that she was a vampire, Sera thought she was joking at first. That’s when the Inquisitor showed her the fangs and how her eyes went all creepy and black. Sera... did not handle it well at first. She kind of freaked out because 1. vampires were friggin real and that was really fucking scary and 2. Her inky was one of them? Inky left that night, she looked really sad and Sera felt really guilty. She hadn’t meant to make Inky feel bad, she was just... scared. It took Sera a few weeks to really accept it. Inky only hurt bad people, and she never bit anyone in Skyhold... there weren’t any bloodless bodies being discovered. And Sera was only feeling worse. Inky was giving her space, and the more Sera waited the more she wanted to hang out with Inky again. She really did love the Inquisitor, and as long as she wasn’t going to get all bitey and monstery Sera was pretty sure she could handle it. They talked about it together for a while and finally Sera hugged Inky close because, “I’m sorry... I acted like an ass... I just... i only heard about scary vampires, but... you’re not scary. Not really. You can be, but you’re also bloody amazing and you’re sweet, and you know how to make me feel... really nice and stuff. I’m sorry.” Sera is OK with the fact that Inky’s a vampire, as long as she isn’t hurting enemies and doesn’t drink blood around Sera it should be fine. Sera’s still a little nervous, but she trusts Inky.

Blackwall: Blackwall’s honestly just stumped. He finds out that the Inquisitor is a werewolf after she gets seriously hurt during a fight. He sends the others to go get a healer or something while he stays with the Inquisitor and tries to keep pressure on her wound. What stumps him is that the wound starts closing underneath his hands all on his own. He’s not a mage, and even so a spell wouldn’t work that fast or that clean. The Inquisitor tells him to grab the red vial from her pack and he does. The liquid inside looks suspiciously like blood and she quickly drinks it down. In a matter of seconds she begins to look better and within a few minutes she’s back to normal. Blackwall raised a brow and the Inquisitor sighed and quickly began to explain how she was a vampire, how she only took blood from the enemies they killed in battle, and how she hoped this wouldnt’ change anything about how Blackwall felt about her. Blackwall just gave her a smile and then kissed her, “Inquisitor after everything that’s happened you being a vampire is like the least crazy thing that’s happened alright? You still love me after finding out who I truly am, and honestly this doesn’t change how I feel.” He promises. As long as the blood is in a vial it doesn’t bother Blackwall. He does ask a few questions and while they travel he picks up herbs he knows that can be used to make the salve that will keep her safe from the sun. He also makes sure to remind her, in private of course, to pack enough blood vials if they’re going on a long journey. It’s actually the Inquisitor who’s so surprised that Blackwall’s taking the news so well. 

Iron Bull: He’s had a few run ins with vampires. Nasty creatures if they’ve gone feral from hunger. Honestly Bull’s not one to judge. He figures out that the Inquisitor is a vampire shortly after meeting them. The eyes, the teeth that just look a tad too sharp, on top of the way they always look so nervous when they’re traveling during the day are a dead give away to him. What he does do is keep his eye out for any strange deaths of Inquisition soldiers, but none come along. He knows the Inquisitor must be getting blood from somewhere, or else they would have gone feral by now and Maker that would fucking suck. But he’s pretty sure that’s not going to happen, so he drops the topic. He’s confident that the Inquisitor has their shit under control. The more he gets to know the Inquisitor the more he likes them. They guard themself a bit, only natural, but as the two grow closer Bull finds himself... he cares about them a great deal. The feeling is only solidified after they tell him its okay to save the Chargers. They trust him, they care about how he feels and what’s important to him, and honestly it feels amazing to have someone that close that cares for him like that. He wants to make them feel the same way. Every night they spend together he makes it special. He wants them to relax, to trust him, and afterwards when its just them curled close in bed he smiles. They both know a side of each other that no one else will get to see. It was the night when his Kadan gave him the dragon tooth necklace, they were curled up against Bull’s chest and he was playing with their hair and making sure they were resting when they told him they were a vampire. No wonder they had seemed so worked up all day, they were planning two huge things to admit to Bull. He kissed their neck gently and ran his hand down their side. “I know.” His voice was gentle and he chuckled when they asked how. “Ben Hasrath remember? Besides it wasn’t my place to ask about it Kadan. You weren’t hurting anyone and you still trusted me even knowing I was still working for the Qun. And before you ask, no it doesn’t change anything. You have my heart.” And he kisses them again before smirking a little, “One question, will biting me turn me into a vampire? No? Great.” It’s all about trust really, and Bull would trust his life with the Inquisitor. There’s only a few times that the Inquisitor gets gravely injured during battle, and Bull lets them drink from him. They’re always gentle and only take what they need. He feels a lot closer to them, and he’ll fight anyone that calls his Kadan a monster. 

Cassandra: She has heard of vampires before, yes. Cursed creatures forced to drink blood and dwell in the dark shadows just to survive. She knows they are not demons, but they are dangerous. Cassandra had always been confident that if she saw a vampire she would be able to tell right away. They would have large fangs, black eyes, and unable to step into the sunlight. Besides they were also quite rare, so she never even suspected that the Inquisitor was one. His odd behavior could simply be written off as someone who was squeamish around injuries which wasn’t uncommon at all. She finds out the Inquisitor is a vampire when he tells her. They had started to grow quite close. They weren’t dating yet, but Cassandra was really starting to open up to him, and he was making it very obvious that he wanted to be with her. She was nervous. He said they needed to talk and that never really sounded like it was going to be a positive thing. She frowned when she saw how nervous the Inquisitor looked. For a moment Cassandra thought she had done something that upset him, but then he started to talk. He explained what he was, how he felt she deserved to know before they got serious or anything, and that he’d understand if him being a vampire changed anything for Cassandra. She was stunned at first. This felt like a joke, she wanted to accuse him of making this a joke, or some prank, but the way he was looking at her. He clearly believed that what he was saying to be true. As if seeming to notice she was doubting his statement he showed her his fangs. Cassandra is not proud of how she handled the news. She walked away from him without a word. She needed time to think. The Seekers taught that vampires were monsters, no humanity in them, that they would kill because they enjoyed it and because they needed the blood. She began to go through the reports of every mission, looking for any odd deaths, of corpses drained of all of their blood, but she found none. No one seemed to have been turned either... Cassandra began to realize that she may have overreacted. She still needed to time to sort out her own feelings. It become obvious to her that the Seekers had lied once again, that the Inquisitor wasn’t actually a bloodthirsty killer. He couldn’t control what he was, and he wasn’t killing people and draining them. Eventually she decides that she still has feelings for the Inquisitor and she tells him as such (it’s awkward and she’s blushing because feelings are hard to express). Their relationship has a bit of a slow start, they both need to earn each other’s trust again, but once they do Cassandra feels so stupid for how she acted when he first told her. She makes sure he has enough blood vials, and she makes sure that he always has enough salve before leaving on journeys. She would hate if he turned into ash because he didn’t bring enough.

Cullen: One would think that Cullen would be quite nervous around the Inquisitor once he finds out she’s a vampire, but honestly? It was the opposite. The Inquisitor told him about what she was on a night where he was really struggling with beating his Lyrium addiction, and he had been embarrassed that anyone saw him so vulnerable, let alone the Inquisitor, but there was no judgement in her eyes. She closed the door to his office and began to help him pick up the shattered remains of his phial before sitting next to him. His hands were shaking, so she put hers on top of his. She told him what she was to show him he wasn’t alone. She too had something similar to his addiction, and how much of a struggle it could be sometimes, but that having those feelings didn’t make her weak, or any less of a person. He’s a little surprised at first, a little nervous for just a moment, but it ebbs away. She has done nothing but help people and do her best to save Thedas. Besides shes... she understands what hes going through... kind of. Knowing what she is early on actually helps them grow closer. Cullen opens up a little more and she comforts him and helps him stay strong on the days where it feels impossible to just get out of bed. When Cullen sees the Inquisitor start to get nervous because there are too many people in the room, too much temptation he pulls her out and makes an excuse so that they can be alone, so that she can have a chance to calm down. Sometimes he worries about her, that he’s going to lose her either because someone else found out and took things into their own hands, or because she runs out of her salve... when those worries fog his mind he finds her and murmurs to her so that they can retire to his room. He just needs to hold her close and assure himself that she’s okay, that she’s safe. Whenever she’s away on missions he’s nervous and jittery, but when she comes back safe and sound he relaxes almost immediately. He knows she doesn’t need sleep, but he does appreciate that she will spend the nights with him, just holding him close. It helps keep his nightmares at bay, and she assures him she likes to watch him sleep. 

Josephine: She was very surprised when the Inquisitor told her they were a vampire. For a moment she thought it was just another prank, but they were so nervous it couldn’t be. If she had had to suspect anyone of being a vampire she would have thought Dorian to be one, granted her only knowledge of vampires was based off what she had heard in stories. It is hard for her to wrap her head around it, but in the end she knows the Inquisitor. They haven’t attacked any allies, they haven’t drained anyone of all of their blood, and they are so kind to her. Josie keeps an open mind about it all really and she asks questions just in case. She wants to be prepared if word ever gets out because it would be absolutely awful if people wanted to kill her love just because of what they were. It takes a while for her to get used to it, but once she does it’s really not a big deal to her. Josie treats it like a condition. The Inquisitor just has rare dietary restrictions, a severe allergy to the sun, and doesn’t need sleep. 

[rhysismydaddy]

Bad Boys of Persia: Part 2

Here’s part 2 of the Feysand/Elreriel/Nessian Persian Fic! It’s a pretty short chapter, but the next one is going to be long.

If you want to read the first part, it’s here.

Part 3 is here!

Masterlist

The plot is starting to thicken, but shit really hits the fan next chapter, so stay tuned!

As always, thank you for reading, and feel free to send me questions/prompts.

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters... or the line I copied ;)

________________________________________________________________

The sun, that gods damned sun, beat down on Feyre as she pushed her way through the crowds of people outside the hotel. She already regretted leaving her bed; it was hot and sticky and crowded. 

But she was already here, so she forced herself to keep going. The man she’d talked to had told her to get salix alba, a traditional Persian healing herb. 

She passed by a few clothing stores, eyes skimming colorful saris and hijabs, before coming to a stop in front of a plant store that looked to have herbs and medicines.

Feyre pushed the door open, inhaling the strong scent of incense and mint, and asked the man behind the counter for her herb. He laughed soundly as she showed him her burnt skin, then gave her a small bottle of yellow lotion. 

“Put this on twice a day; it should help,” he said, still smiling.

“Should?”

He started chuckling yet again. “I’ve never had to use it, moon face.”

She laughed at herself before sliding some money over the counter. The vender shook his head and pushed it back. “Just take it. No one else around here needs it.”

Feyre smiled and thanked him, then left the shop, obscenely proud of herself for getting what she needed. 

Feyre stood outside the store, debating her options: she could go home and lay in bed, or push herself some more and go get groceries. She decided to go with option two, just so she wouldn’t have to bother with room service anymore. 

Even though she begrudged her sisters for forcing her to come, Feyre had to admit it was beautiful here. Especially the architecture. The old buildings were the color of the sand around them, all finely made and having details hand carved into the tops. Some even had guardian figures leaning over the edges of the roofs.

She walked down the street, thankful the sun had started to set. When she came to an open produce market in a large alley between two streets, she paused. 

Stands and stands of bright fruits and vegetables were covered by an awning of blowing fabric tied to the roofs of the buildings next to the market, giving the place shade from the sun. She started to scan the isles, passing by people selling produce she’d never even heard of. 

“How much?” she asked a kind, young woman selling loaves of bread. 

She just tilted her head. 

Feyre gave her what she thought would be the right amount and took two loaves. The woman gasped, then quickly gave her half of it back. 

Fighting the embarrassment off her face, Feyre smiled and took the change, then quickly walked away. Another reason she begrudged her sisters right now: they hadn’t given her any time to learn about the Persian language or currency, so she was bound to look stupid wherever she went.

Her mood a little less excited, Feyre continued to walk past different stands, pausing when she wanted to buy something. When her bag started to get heavy, Feyre decided to walk back to the hotel. She was sweaty and sticky and desperately wanted a shower.

She abruptly turned around, then cursed when she smacked into the person walking behind her. 

“Sorry, I-”

He kept walking, completely unfazed by Feyre’s antics. She couldn’t see his face--the hood of his loose, dark shirt was pulled over his head--but there was something about him... something dangerous. 

Feyre moved out of the middle of the aisle, but couldn’t force her eyes off of him. He walked with the grace and power of someone used to running... maybe he was an athlete? 

He stopped at the bread stand Feyre had just been at, head stooping to say something in the vender’s ear. The woman threw her head back and laughed, a light blush coming to dust her cheeks.

Feyre was frozen in place, watching him flirt and charm the woman. 

She looked at his face and smiled warmly, then said something and nodded to the customers waiting in front of her stand. 

The stranger leaned in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. The people waiting looked away, eyes lifting to the cloth covering the market. 

But Feyre couldn’t look away. 

Because what everyone failed to notice, what everyone had been too preoccupied to see, was that the man wasn’t after just getting a kiss. He was after the food. 

As soon as the woman had closed her eyes, everyone looking away, he’d slipped two loaves of bread under his shirt. It was so fast and casual, Feyre wondered if she’d imagined it. 

He said goodbye to the vender, then began to walk out of the market. Feyre didn’t know why her feet followed after him, didn’t know why she was so drawn to a complete stranger. 

He slipped behind an empty stand, then gripped the ladder leading to the roof, and, before anyone could notice, climbed up, disappearing under the cloth  covering the market. 

She was desperate to see where he was going, but there was no chance in hell Feyre would be able to pull herself up, so she walked on the street, keeping him in her peripheral. 

She was well aware that she was being crazy, but she found herself unable to stop. Remembering what she’d seen on TV, Feyre tried to blend into the crowds and even stopped occasionally so he wouldn’t notice her. 

She walked on the street below him, marveling at how he sauntered on the roofs above. Feyre guessed he’d been stealing his whole life. How else could someone have such confidence? She’d only stolen one thing--a lollipop from the grocery store near her house when she was four--and it had made Feyre so nervous she’d started to cry.

For him to have such grace, even after committing a crime, made Feyre anxious about following him any further. She forced herself to question why she was even going after him. 

Was it because she wanted to confront him about his thievery? Maybe, but Feyre wasn’t usually that bold.

Was it because she was always drawn to troubled souls? Maybe, but he didn’t seem to be troubled about what he had done.

Was it because of the way the bread vender had giggled and blushed at his words, looking young and beautiful and happy, and Feyre hadn’t felt like that since-

Shit, where did he go? 

Cursing herself for getting lost in her thoughts, Feyre rushed down a narrow alley, scanning the rooftops above her for his figure. 

It was dark now, and it was getting hard to see, but she thought she saw something off in the distance-

Someone gripped Feyre’s arms and pushed her roughly against the side of the buildings. She started to scream, but a heavy hand slapped over her mouth. She raised her fists and hit his waist, but he didn’t release his grip.

She was determined to not stop fighting, to never let him win easily, so she tried to hit him again. He grabbed her hand, reflexes fast as a cat, and pinned it against the wall above her head. 

Realizing she was completely trapped, no one around to even see, Feyre looked up into the face of her attacker with pleading eyes. 

And froze. 

He was the most beautiful male she’d ever seen.

He had harsh, high cheekbones, hair the color of the night sky, broad shoulders, and the most beautiful eyes, so dark blue they looked violet. 

He looked classic, exotic, and devastatingly handsome. Like he’d been carved by the gods. 

The only thing not gorgeous about him was the completely pissed expression on his face. 

“Why are you following me, girl?” 

________________________________________________________________

Nesta’s eyes snapped open, and she immediately took in her surroundings. She was in a small room, handcuffed to a smaller bed, completely naked. 

Awesome.

And she wasn’t alone.

The man that had followed and taken her was sitting in a metal chair in the corner. Asleep.

Nesta picked up a dirty pillow off the bed and flung it at him as hard as she could. “Wake up, asshole.”

His hand shot up and caught the pillow inches from his face, eyes still shut. “I’m awake, bitch.”

She rolled her eyes, then shook her hand excessively, rattling the handcuffs. “Take these off.”

“Say please.” 

Nesta debated ripping the headboard off and beating him to death with it instead, but figured she needed to keep her cover for a little while longer. “Please,” she said sweetly.

“No.”

She saw red. Calm down, Nesta, you can kill him later. “You’re a real fucking prick, you know that, right?”

He just shrugged,  not even deigning to open his eyes. 

“Where am I?”

He finally looked at her, those golden orbs boring into her with deadly seriousness. “Don’t worry, they can still track you,” he said bitterly before closing his eyes again.

Every thought, every word flew out of Nesta’s head at his words. She forced herself to not glance down at her heel, to the only thing that was telling her team she was alive. 

How the hell had he found it? What did he mean they could still track her? Was it still active?

She was about to start asking him questions when the door handle jangled, the sound wrecking her train of thought. Someone on the other side fumbled with the lock.

The stranger in the corner muttered fuck under his breath then jumped to his feet and flung his shirt off. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

He gave her a serious look. “Shut up. Don’t say a word. Don’t make eye contact. I’m serious, Nesta.”

How did he know her name? What was going on?

He took the sheet and flung it over her, then sat on the bed, too close for comfort, and ran his hands through his hair, muffling the curly locks. Before she could object, he muffled hers, too, then had the audacity to pinch her cheeks lightly.

She swatted his hands away.

He ignored her completely, then leaned back against the headboard next to her and gave her a warning look. Nesta rolled her eyes, but forced them down at her lap. 

He leaned in, close enough to share air, and she thought he was about to kiss her when the door finally swung open.

She heard someone step inside, felt someone’s eyes on her.

Felt someone’s eyes on their rumpled sheets, undressed situation, and messy hair.

The stranger said, “My turn. Get out.”

The man sitting next to her immediately was on his feet. He grabbed the intruder by the collar and slammed him against the wall. “Give me another order, Farshid.”

The sound of someone spitting filled the room, but the man listened, shoving him away and slamming the door. 

When Nesta looked up again, she was alone with her captor. Who was noticeably still shirtless.

Good gods, he looked like he ate small children for breakfast. He was tall, with long hair, massive arms, and broad shoulders. By anyone’s standards, he was gorgeous. 

He noticed her eyes, grabbed his shirt off the floor and pulled it over his head, then dropped back into his chair. 

“Um, explain, please,” Nesta said, trying to fight the bitterness in her voice.

He sighed, then propped his head against the wall. “What would you like to know?”

“For starters, how do you know my name?”

“We have facial recognition software,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Okay, but how do you know my real name?” The CIA had built a fool-proof cover for her. According to her record, her name was Sally Jones. 

He gave her a cocky grin. “Sorry, Sally, but the CIA has always been shit at giving their operatives covers.” 

Nesta felt her face pale. “I don’t know what you’re-”

“Oh, cut the shit. Your name is Nesta Archeron, you’re twenty-eight, and you’ve been with the CIA Division of Middle Eastern Operations since they recruited you at eighteen.”

How did he know all this? This wouldn’t come up with the best facial recognition software in the world, let alone whatever they had here. Unless...

“Who do you work for?” she asked.

He looked annoyed. “Mossad. I’ve been deep undercover for the past ten months. And the last thing I need right now is to have to deal with the CIA thinking they need to barge in here and control my op.”

Mossad. At least it made sense why he’d left her tracker. 

“Wait a second,” she sat up a little higher. “You’ve been here for ten months and you haven’t taken them down?”

He rolled his eyes. “Such a typical American. I don’t want to take down this ring. I want to take down their entire operation.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“They’re called the Shahmaran. They’re a human trafficking circle running throughout all of Persia. Their Suza op is just a small piece of a bigger pie. They’re responsible for the abduction of over three hundred girls. I’ve been trying to get to the management side of things to see who’s really calling the shots.”

Holy hell, three hundred girls? This was so much bigger than Alis had told her. 

“Why haven’t you?” she asked. 

He gave her a look. “They don’t exactly take applications. Most of the guys here were born into the business; their families have controlled the Shahmaran for years.”

“Okay, then new plan. We take out the people here, and then the bosses come in to see why all their employees are dead,” she said happily. 

He shook his head. “I’m not about to waste my entire operation to take out thirty guys. Even though they deserve it.”

“Then what’s your bright idea, genius?”

He grinned. “You.”

Nesta raised her eyebrows. “Me?”

“You. Since you barged into my op, you might as well make yourself useful.” He ignored her look. “Every year, the Shahmaran hold an auction of sorts. Each branch, from all around Persia, brings a girl in for the boss. Whichever group’s girl he chooses gets a shitload of money and basically get to do whatever they want for a year until the next auction.”

He continued, “I have a lot of sway here with this group. They’ve never won before, and they’re desperate for the money, so they really need the win. And I get to choose who we’re sending.”

He wasn’t actually talking about-

“We’re going to sell you, Nesta. And you’re going to win.”

________________________________________________________________

Elain paced back and forth in her hotel room.

Feyre still wasn’t back. Her first day out and she stays gone the entire day and well into the evening? She wasn’t answering her phone, and Elain couldn’t stop thinking about what might’ve happened to her. Why did I leave her alone?

And she still didn’t know what to do about the woman at Morrigan. She wouldn’t leave without knowing she was okay and getting her away from that horrible man. 

So she paced. 

Calm down, Lainey, she told herself, using the nickname her father had given her when she was little.

I’m sure Feyre is just eating dinner somewhere. She’ll be back soon. 

And for the waitress with that horrible, jagged wound... an idea sparked in her head that had Elain grabbing her bag and running out of her room.

She didn’t bother with pleasantries as she went up to the reception desk.

“How do I get to the police station?” 

The man behind the counter jumped, then looked at her with concerned eyes.  

“Are you alright?” 

His question pressed against Elain’s already-frayed nerves. “No, I am not alright. Hence the need for the police.”

He quickly pulled a map out and drew her a path to the station. Elain snatched it and was out the door before he could say anything else.

She followed the path he’d drawn her to a run-down building, the Persian word for Police written in half-crumbling paint on top of the place. After pushing the door open, she went up to the closest officer she could find. “Hi, can you help me?” she asked, hoping he spoke English.

“What do you need, American?”

“I saw someone who was hurt, and-”

He brushed past her in annoyance. “Try a hospital.”

Elain grabbed his arm, shaking her head. “No, but she was hurt by someone. Isn’t that part your job? Please help.”

The officer sighed. “Who was hurt?”

Elain stopped. “Um, I don’t know her name, but she works at Morrigan-”

“Shit,” he muttered, looking around to make sure no one was listening. “You need to leave. Right now.”

“No, but you’re not listening, she could be in trouble-”

“Oh, she is. But I will be too if you don’t shut up. Now get out,” he strode off, not letting her say anything else.

Elain stood in the lobby of the station, dumbfounded. What the hell? How could someone be so heartless? 

She flung the door open and ran outside, helpless tears forming in her eyes. The woman needed medical attention, but that prick probably wouldn’t let her out of his sight, let alone go to a hospital. 

His words from yesterday played through her head, and soon Elain was mad enough that she was stomping her way back to Morrigan, a murky plan forming in her head. 

Twenty minutes later, she pushed her way into Morrigan, ignoring the servers questioning looks as she strode to the back of the restaurant and pounded on the door. 

The door swung open, revealing the severely-pissed looking owner. “I told you to not come back.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you want,” she hissed, pushing past him and coming into the office. 

Elain was ready to give him the verbal smack down of the century, but paused mid-stride when she saw the server, soundly asleep on a sofa.

She was shirtless, a bandage covering almost her entire abdomen. A little color had returned to her face, and she looked immensely better than she had just yesterday. The owner walked over and draped a blanket over her softly.

“You... you took care of her?” Elain asked, suddenly feeling ridiculous.

He gave her a look. “Of course I did.”

Elain forced herself to remember that he was the reason she needed taking care of in the first place. “Well, it doesn’t matter. The police will be here soon.”

He raised his eyebrows. “You told the police?”

Elain nodded, hoping he’d get scared enough to not call her bluff. She just needed to get the woman out and away from him and take her to a hospital.

“Mmhm, and what exactly did they say?” 

Was he... grinning? What the hell?

“Ask them yourself. They’ll be here in a few minutes.” She forced her voice to stay steady. She’d always been a terrible liar.

“May I ask why you care about a total stranger this much?”

Elain bristled at his cool tone. “Because what you did to her is wrong and you deserve to be punished.”

“And you’re certain this was my doing because...” he trailed off, motioning for her to finish.

She started to doubt herself. “Because you didn’t want to take her to the hospital or inform the authorities-”

“Yes, because look at the lot of good it did you.” Elain wanted to punch that smug look off his face.

“I don’t know what you’re-”

“The police aren’t coming. You can drop the act,” he said calmly, as if it were obvious.

“How do you know?”

He sighed, looking at the woman on the sofa with sad, pained eyes. “Because the man who did this to her is the Chief of Police.”

________________________________________________________________

Part 3 is here.

Thank you for reading! Updated with a new tag list (it didn’t work for some people)! Let me know in my box or the comments if you want to be added.

@sezkins79 @bookofmaas @graaaaceeliz @10divergentmockingjays  @azriels-forgotten-shadow @elide-lochan-salvaterre @facilisdescensusav3rno @wesupremeginger @mis-lil-red @rapunzel1523 @chemicha @illyrianbeauty @azrielismycinnamonrollprimary @street-smarts-are-important @dreamerforever-5 @the-jin-to-my-tonic @lord-douglas-the-third

[permaculturenortheast-blog]

Permaculture Northeast Journal: Oct 25th, 2019

Friday, October 25th, 2019: The Dawn of Permaculture Northeast Recap

My name is Benjamin Jackson Powell, known by my friends and acquaintances as Frenchie Powell.  It is without a shadow of a doubt that I should have begun this journal over two years ago, as now I am already well into the project and endeavor that is Permaculture Northeast.  Already the memories of our beginnings are beginning to fade, however, the best time to plant a tree is seven years ago, and the second best time is today. As such, the second best time for me to be starting this journal is the present.  So then, I will attempt to provide a history up to the present time, then move forward, giving flashbacks as they are pertinent to the stories of the future.

Perhaps I should begin by saying… It all started back in my College days in Florida.  My Sophomore year to be precise. You see, my college, Eckerd College, is renown for being an environmentally focused institution.  So it was no surprise that one day I should find a small garden outside of my dorm building, being run by a student who was growing a wide variety of plants on a very small space.  Up to this point, the notion of permaculture had never crossed my radar, and it was not even from this individual that I first learned of it by name, but from him I learned of it by practice.  

The times when I would visit his garden, he (I forget his name), would show me his garden and the mix of edible and ornamental plants that he was growing, and somehow in the mix and midst of it all, I became overwhelmingly fascinated in gardening.  I soon joined forces with him, and later in my Sophomore year, assumed primary control over the garden next to our dorm.  

I forget what my motive was.  Perhaps it was the sun, or perhaps it was the sand, but either way I knew that the garden required frequent watering.  So I would often go out and water the plants, and notice the minute ways in which the water would flow over the micro landscape.  I began to learn what areas were wetter and what areas stayed dry. It was beans that I was growing, with a few other species like prickly pear, some remnant flowers, and a few others that are beyond my memory, but it was the ground that captured my heart.  And it was at some point that things clicked in my mind as to the conditions it needed.

Eventually I looked elsewhere to continue this new addiction of gardening.  I came across a small plot of land next to a building on campus used by ASPEC (Academy of Senior Professionals at Eckerd College).  It was a sorry lot, a flower bed of years gone by left barren and baked by the hot Floridian sun, reduced to no more than a sandy lot with a few wood chips here and there, with weeds even struggling to survive in its corners.  It was on this lot that my endeavors truly began to take off.  

After asking ASPEC if I could use the plot as a garden, they almost incredulously agreed, and gave me $70 of a budget to work with.  Excited with this potential, I promptly went out and purchased a lemon tree, some mint, and other herbs. I knew that if I wanted to grow things on this sad little plot of land, I needed to provide it with the conditions they needed.  I could water, but I also knew that a stout lemon tree would provide much needed shade for the mint beneath it, helping hold the water in. And that the mint would provide a ground cover that would fill the area and also hold water in the “soil”.  And so it began.

It actually wasn’t me who initially covered the soil.  But one time after I think winter break, I returned to find that someone had mulched my garden with wood mulch (that they had bought from the store).  Their intent was to supress weeds, and since the mulch was indeed organic matter, I decided I would just let it go and see what happened. While this had been going on, and the garden was growing, I made it a practice to continually bring with me a “gift” to the garden; be it a stick I had picked up along my walk there, a handful of leaves, or some scraps from the kitchen, I always broght with me some form of organic material to give to the garden’s soil.  This, along with doing some stagnant compost piles about 1ft tall by 2ft wide, allowed the soil to remediate. Within a year and a half, the barren sand had turned into rich black soil. In a year and a half we had over 50 edible species growing in this small “flower bed”. Asparagus, rosemary, pineapple, papaya, lemon, mint, sage, basil, tomatoes, and much more, all grew in a thriving lot together. Though the garden was destroyed twice in those times by unknowing grounds keepers, each time it was built back up and restored.  And though our Papaya trees got a fungal disease, they fought it off without the aid of sprays. The system thrived until the time I graduated.

But let’s pause, because I hadn’t graduated before learning of permaculture.  Indeed my very first introduction to the term had come from a class of mine when the professor was asking the class what we wanted to study for a week, be it “permaculture” or sustainable cities.  The class, including myself, wanted to learn about sustainable cities, and so the notion of permaculture was dismissed beyond one slide talking about how it turned desert into an oasis (refering to Geoff Lawton’s regreening the desert project).  

After that moment, it wasn’t until my Senior year, studying abroad in Jordan for the first semester, that I decided to revisit this old term, and looked it up on YouTube.  And from then on, I was hooked. It was at a time when my garden was only half a year old, that I learned, and educated myself on permaculture as a means of gardening and as an agricultural technique.  And upon my return to the United States, I continued my self-prompted studies and implemented ideas at my garden, on the campus garden, and even went on to perform lectures on my college campus about this relatively new idea.  And so it was, that I decided that upon graduation I would move onto my parents farm in rural, South Central, Pennsylvania and begin implementing these practices on a larger scale. That, was the dawn of Permaculture Northeast.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️DMODT- 6 full

Hanji knew nothing about magic, but that didn't stop the woman. Over the following month, he found himself being dragged all over the place as he "helped" the woman with her experiments. Sure, he'd learned a few things. Omegas were the only ones who could read the runes in the books of magic, and their alpha masters treated them like lackies because of it. Alphas were only really their in order to command the omegas over what not to do. He had no talent for healing. Not once did a healing spell work the way he wanted it to. He could stop the blood flowing... but he had better chance of healing an injury with traditional medicine. Hanji was practically useless. Yep, all that and that he'd accident upset the prince, who wasn't actually the prince at all. That was the biggest thing he'd learned from Hanji. For some stupid reason, Levi was only playing the part of Prince Erwin, or Erwin was playing the part of Levi's body guard. It had something to do with the way the King and Queen had died. The moment Hanji had let the secret slip, she'd used an alpha command to silence him over it. As it turned out, Hanji had nearly daily run ins with Erwin and Levi. It was so incredibly stupid, but each time they met, Eren secretly hoped for Levi to look at him. It depressed him to think that the prince didn't want him in the castle, and the only thing that came to mind as to why the man would be displeased was due to the apple tree incident. He'd apologised, and been brushed aside. Hanji had told him not to take it personally, but how could he not? He hadn't intended to cause any trouble at all, and he'd been much better at controlling his magic. Even when Hanji was finished with him, he'd head down to small woodland behind the training oval and practice until his nose bled. He couldn't form another tree, no matter how much he tried, but his battle magic had been getting better. He could now summon razor sharp winds... that had succeeded in cutting his arms to shreds, and not much else. He felt as if he'd had a real master, he would have been further in his studies. As the second visit by the Marley forces drew closer, Hanji had less time to spend training him. Armin had been full of enthusiasm over helping him, but even his friend had been drawn into helping around the castle. He could have turned to Mikasa, they'd often eat dinner together as Hanji at with the castle soldiers, but Mikasa had grown on his nerves. She wanted more from him than what he was prepared to give. She'd attempt to scent mark him every chance she got, claiming he didn't know the affect he had on the soldiers. The first time had really hurt him to hear that strangers only saw him as sex ok legs. When he'd returned to his room, he'd begun back on his homemade suppressants. He was omega, but he was also a person who'd sworn their life to Eldia. He didn't need to be a soldier to be strong. Not now that he could use his magic. He just needed to practice, and more herbs. Having been shopping with Hanji, Eren had learned that most places were happy to bill the castle for supplies. Dressed in his pants and tunic, Eren looked just like everyone else in the market place. Hanji had laughed at the impracticality of his robes, and insisted he wear pants. They weren't even the tight white pants of soldiers either, these were black and gave him a little more space to move. Plus, his bleeds or slicking didn't show. With a smile on his face, Eren took his time to savour the sights and sounds of the market row. Children played games in the street, carefree and ignorant of the world around them, or the lack of freedom the whole country was suffering. As he walked, he nodded to the various stall holders he'd met through Hanji. The store he wanted was the apothecary at the end of the road, so it wasn't technically part of the market row, but inside was just as chaotic as if it had been. Bundles of hundreds of herbs hung from the ceiling, their ground counterparts filling jars that barely seemed to hold them. If he hadn't had magic, he would have liked to be a stall holder. He would have liked to hear the stories of the hundreds of residents of capital city. But alas, he'd always be on the outside. Stopping off at his favourite fruit stall, the owner tossed him a fresh apple. With too many apples at the castle, they'd traded the stall owner for potatoes "Having a good day, Eren?" "Excellent. And you?" "Can't complain. Hey. Is it true those thugs from Marley are returning?" "I wouldn't call them thugs, but yes?" The man looked genuinely annoyed, ruining Eren's apple for him before he'd even bitten into it "Did something happen?" "Nah. Nothing you types would be interested in" "Types"? What type was that? He hadn't been born into royalty. It was only by luck that he was training at the castle "I'm plenty interested. What happened?" "Bunch of them stole from us before they took off. Couldn't do nothing to them, being honoured guests and all" That wasn't right or fair "Did you notify Prince Erwin?" "Kid's had a silver spoon in his mouth since he was born" "I've talked with Prince Erwin, I'm sure if you notified him, he'd repay you" "It's not worth the effort. Now get on with you. You're scaring my customers away" Eren nodded "Thanks for the apple" Continuing along the market, he ran into his second conversation of the day. Coming out with his arms loaded with fur L-Erwin could barely see over the pile. It was going to take him a while to get used to the farce being played out. Whenever he saw the big blond man, his mind jumped to Levi. And now he wasn't. When Erwin stumbled, Eren jogged over to him. Steadying the pile of furs as they carried it to the waiting cart. Loading them into the back, Erwin smiled down at him "Thanks for that. Are you out shopping?" "Yes, though not for quite as much as you are" "Prince Zeke wants fur cloaks for his entourage. These furs are being taken to be adjusted by our tailors" "Ugh. Of course he does" Pelts this soft would make such a nice blanket to sleep under on cold days "Yes. He's quite the handful. It feels like some time since we were able to last speak. How are things going with Hanji?" "She's no master of magic. That's for sure, but she tries" "Your magic is coming along, then?" "Slowly. I feel no bond with her though. Not like the one I'd expected. But I've found that dreams can be quite different to reality" "I'm sorry to hear that. I know how excited you were. Would you like a ride back to the castle?" "No. I'm alright. I still haven't visited the apothecary yet. I would have expected the castle to grow their own herbs, or at least have the ones I need" "Have you thought about growing them yourself?" "No. Yes. But after sprouting a tree by accident, I don't know how safe it would be to let me grow more" "We do have glass rooms set up for plant propagation. Compile a list of seeds, and I'll pass them on to the mages" "That would make things so much easier, thank you. This might seem rather bold, but I wouldn't mind attempting to grow them myself. I would like to try my magic on them, and not herbs that everyone in the castle depends upon" Levi might be the fake prince, but Erwin held the real power... "Do you have some idea where?" "Close to the woods by the training grounds, so as to be close without encroaching on the soldiers" "Very well. Draft up some idea, then I'll see that it gets to the prince" "Thank you, very much" "You're welcome. And thank you for the help with the furs. I'll leave you too it" Eren gave Erwin the best smile he could, before hurrying off towards the apothecary. Erwin seemed to still like him well enough, which meant he'd insulted Levi somehow... It confused him, then annoyed him, then pissed him right off. He hadn't done anything to Levi for him to be mad. It'd be one thing if he had, but the real prince of the kingdom wasn't mad at him. Entering the apothecary, the whole process only took a few minutes as he knew what he wanted and needed. A dozen herbs later, the cloud of depression around him lifted. Remembering he was sending the bill to the castle, he added a few more herbs to his own list as a jab at Levi. If the man was going to be mad, he might as make him really mad. Leaving the apothecary store, he found Erwin waiting for him "Weren't you returning to the castle?" "I am. I didn't feel right about leaving you here to walk back" Starting to walk towards the fur cart, Eren fell into step with him "I would have been just fine. I did walk down here myself" "I know you frequent the market with Hanji, but the market can be a dangerous place for an omega. Less desirable people make a game of hunting mages and magic users. You really shouldn't be down here by yourself" Why hadn't Erwin said that before? Had he missed something happening? Had Erwin needed to step in and save him? He hoped not "I'm sorry..." "No. It's not your fault. Since Marley came into the scene under this peace treaty, things have grown hard for the residents of the city. This is not your fault" "Why can't you do anything?" "Because Marley will cry war. Being on the main land, they have a number of allies. Unfortunately, Eldia suffers. The Prince doesn't like it, but... it's either people dying senseless deaths in war, or us trying to find some balance and protecting all we can" He didn't expect such a heavy answer. Maybe Erwin was more than a pretty face? "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to saddle you with this?" Eren shook his head quickly "I don't mind. I did come to the castle to be of use after I took my vow" "I shall keep that in mind. Would you like some help getting up?" Eren's face redden as his mind immediately went to sex with Erwin comment, instead of help into the wagon. Before he answered, Erwin lifted him like he weighed nothing, settling him on the front driver's seat, before climbing up beside him "There wasn't anything else you needed, was there?" "No, just the herbs. Thank you" * Erwin was taking too long for Levi's liking. Standing in the castle courtyard, the stump of the apple tree had been turned into the base of an anvil, a blacksmith working on a horseshoe as he stared down at it. It'd been a truly impressive tree, and he was almost sad to see it gone. It'd provided the keep with shade, and seemed to make the whole space less sticky and humid. But it also provided far too many shadows for would be assassins. Grumbling under his breath, he heard Erwin before he saw him. The alpha laughing heartedly as he drove the cart into the keep. Riding beside him was Eren, the teen laughing just as hard as Erwin pulled up near the service entrance just short of the walkway Levi was glaring at the world from. Jumping down, Erwin said something that Eren raising his hands in protest. It didn't stop Erwin from rounding the cart and lifting Eren down. The whole interaction pissed him off. Erwin had kept him waiting all damn morning, just so he could play hooky with Eren. Passing small wrapped parcels to Eren, lessened his annoyance. Erwin must have given the omega lift back to the castle. Though what Eren was doing out on his own, he didn't know. It wasn't safe for omegas to just be walking around, confirming his thoughts that kid was a naive brat. He'd already copped a lecture from squad leader Ackerman about it, and had an hour long "talk" with Hanji over Eren's progress. Hanji felt that because Eren didn't understand his powers, he wasn't able to tap into completely. Whatever. It wasn't his problem anyway. He had no reason for talking to the omega now that Zeke wasn't there. There was nothing between them, not even the pull of the bond formed on the altar. It was another few days of annoyance and upset routine, before he literally ran into Eren again. Rushing through the castle, the young omega hadn't been paying attention at all, as he ran straight into him. Bouncing back, Eren hit the floor with a thud, while Levi's hand had flown to his sword. Normally people paid much more attention, instead of being shitty idiots "Eren? Are you alright?" "I'm so sorry, sirs. I was supposed to meet with court mages this morning, but Hanji only just passed the message on" The woman was a damn menace. Reaching down, Erwin pulled Eren from the floor "You'd better get along then" "Yes. I'm so sorry" Both of them stepped aside, leaving a path for Eren between them. Levi drew his brow in concern as the scent coming off Eren. He didn't smell like himself, and he left the trace hints of blood behind. Taking two steps, Levi knelt down, reaching out to touch the place where Eren had landed. His finger tips coming back dry, apart from the tiny specks of blood "Is everything ok?" "Eren's bleeding" "Bleeding?" Rising, he showed his fingers to Erwin "That does seem to be blood. But it could be entirely natural" "It's not natural for male omegas to bleed... If he's sick, it could mean trouble" "And if he's not, you'll be embarrassing him" "Then have a word with the head healer. Have them make sure the kid hadn't contracted something contagious. His scent was wrong too" "You know his scent now?" "It smells of rain. Today, he smelt blank. If his magic flared again, he may just bring down the castle" Marley would be there in just a couple more days. Everything had been made perfect for Prince Pin-Dick's arrival "I'll see what can be done. But Levi, if Eren's powers are causing you so much worry, wouldn't it be better to send him from the castle?" Did he want to send Eren from the castle? Something inside him fiercely hated the thought... his alpha sore over him not wanting to pursue the omega, yet... He couldn't bring himself to dismiss Eren completely. Each time he caught a whiff of the omegas scent, or a caught a glance of him rushing through the castle... or even just the thought of Eren being under the same roof as him, he'd find himself scrambling to push the omega from his mind, then scrambling for excuses as to why Eren couldn't leave "No. He may fall into the hands of the enemy. Plus, Zeke may not be impressed at the lack of Eren being there" "Do you think he'd care about Eren, after this time apart?" "Probably. Because it's him and he just wants to be an arsehole. Their rooms are ready, correct?" "Yes. I've checked them myself. We've withstood Zeke before, and we will again" "And the entertainment?" "The finest musicians have been called to the castle. The mages have been given their orders, and they've promised a sky show to remember" "And you've got the updated hunting maps?" "Picked them up with the furs. Arrangements have been made for an extended hunting trip. Tents and camp organised for the forest to the south" He'd prefer not to hunt in the south, but Isabel and Farlan had found signs of illegal poaching, and thanks to shitty Marley messing with his schedule, he hadn't been able to ride out and check it. No doubt, Zeke was sure to blame his ineptness for the poachers "Very well. Everything must go smoothly" "You're worrying too much" Levi glared at Erwin "You're not worried enough. Go make sure Eren is alright, and make go check with Shitty Glasses about his training. If she can't bring his magic under control, we need to find someone more appropriate" "Hanji isn't going to like that" "Between her and the castle, I choose the castle" "Of course you do. Just don't forget you need to check in with the kitchen over the menu for Marley's stay, and you need to be there for gear inspection..." "I know. You take care of your job, and I'll take care of mine" * Eren was sure he was in trouble. Hanji had signed off on his small shopping trip, though asked that in future he went through her over the herbs he needed. That wasn't happening. He didn't want to be a burden on her, not when she had so much to do around the castle as it was. Not being a magic user, or master, Hanji didn't know about the classes some mages had access to. Eren didn't even know about it until he was summoned down to meet with one of the older omegas who was in charge of entertainment while Marley was there. Three or four masters had come together to train their omegas in broader magic uses, but perhaps more exciting than forcing his way into those classes was that he got to take part in the sky show being planned to wow Marley. It was so last moment, he didn't know how it'd happened, yet he was thrilled to be of some use. All his life, Eren had thought that complex magic spells were required for magic, yet the runes in the books were more ideas and suggestions. It was rather weird to read about spells, then have mental images stab at his brain over it. The clearer the mental image, the clearer the results from the spells. For all her ramblings and excitement, Hanji had never told him that. Instead it'd taken a few snarky comments from older mages, who had decided he was particularly useless because he couldn't create a shower of magical sparks like they could. Still. A strong imagination didn't mean a strong spell, necessarily. It was just the first step of the race, and Eren seemed to be on a completely different playing field. Spending hours with the mages, Eren was growing more and more frustrated. He could make a small shower of sparkles appear... around his fingers and that was that. He felt sick to his stomach, exhausted and uncomfortably hot. He didn't understand why it was so easy for everyone else. He'd taken his vows. He was taking his studies with an unusual and almost fanatical devotion, yet all he seemed to be able to do was produce small party tricks. When he closed his eyes, he could focus on what he wanted. A whole sky lit up bright in a shower of silver and blue. He'd done what he was told to do... which had to mean, he was the problem. Had he taken his vows too soon? Or was it because his magic had been useless for so long? Swaying on the spot, he dropped to his knees. Why couldn't he do what everyone else could do?! Left to sit where he'd fallen, one of the other masters took pity of him. Heaving him up by his arm, the man wrapped an arm around his waist as he gave a sniff. Slightly offended, Eren tried to stand alone, but his knees would support him "Stop it. You're liable to give yourself an aneurysm with all this straining" Glaring at the man, he seemed to tower over him, by at least a head "What would you know?" "I know you're learning nothing under Hanji" "Hanji is my master" "Is she?" Eren's scowl deepened "Don't be like that, I know you've suspected as much. The only one who can draw the magic out of you, is your master" Eren was sick of feeling insulted and sick of feeling sick. His head was starting to throb in time with his stomach, his tongue getting the better of him as he angrily hissed "And who are you?! How do you seem to magically know what's happening between Hanji and I?! She is my master!" "We both know you were mounted by a male alpha, not a female" "I..." He didn't remember the ritual. Once the blood of those in the cavern had been drunk, he couldn't remember anything that happened after it. Only a feeling of being right where he was supposed to be, and a feeling of being held warm and safe "Who are you?" "My name is Reiner. I am a master here, and have been since Marley signed the treaty with Eldia" So Reiner came from Marley? Why the fuck was he working as a master here then? Marley had their own mages... "Well, Reiner. Then I must be a magic user who's master regretted mounting me. Would you care to go ahead and laugh?" "I would never laugh. Instead, I shall give you a piece of advice. Seek out your true master, and whatever herbs you are taking for your... condition, stop. Being a magic user requires you to be in tune with yourself and your master. Your master gives you strength through the bonds formed each time you lay together" Eren pursed his lips. Reiner wasn't like he'd expected. The alpha hadn't been insulted by his snappy retorts "And how do you suppose I do that?" "You should feel it. When you're in the company of him, you shall feel it" "And what if I don't?" "Then there's always a spell. Employ the use of a scrying circle. Concentrate on the thought of your master and the answer should be revealed" "Why are you telling me this?" "Because you remind me of myself. Stuck with no way out, except to live up to someone else's expectations. That apple tree you rose, was just a small sliver of the power you have, and we all have high hopes for you" Mulling Reiner's words over in his mind, he let himself be helped back up to the castle. Parting with Reiner, Eren didn't know how he felt about the man. Everyone else had left him, yet Reiner had sought him out to tell him he needed to find his proper master. What happened when he did? Why had they turned their backs on him, and left him to Hanji? He knew he could be loud, but only because he so desperately wanted to be useful. Was that so wrong? And could he possibly solve his dilemma? If Hanji was lying to him, who else was? And why? Wrapping his arms around himself, he suddenly felt very much alone, and incredibly small. He'd thought he was making friends here... but maybe Armin and Mikasa were his only friends? He didn't really know the people of the castle. Even Erwin and Levi weren't who they said they were. How much of all of this was actually a lie?

[cecilspeaks]

127 - A Matter of Blood, Part 1

Sleep like there’s nobody watching. Welcome to Night Vale.

Mayor Dana Cardinal, now in her fourth year on the job, has gotten comfortable with the responsibilities and powers of the position. She issued a statement in casual conversation with your intrepid host just yesterday, while we happened to be next to each other in line at the Missing Frog Salad Bar. Saying she believes she could bring about some lasting positive change with her position. As such, she will be instituting a number of programs to radically expand the power and oversight of the Mayor, putting her directly in charge of the agents of the Vague yet Menacing Government agency, who spy on her every moment, as well as the Sheriff’s Secret Police, who regulate our every waking breath. She said by taking on full control of all areas, she will be able to make sure everything is run more justly, more humanely, and with less imprisoning dissidents for life in the abandoned mine shaft outside of town.

But, she said, this change will be difficult for a lot of people, and so she asked me not to… tell anyone just yet. Oops. So this has been Cecil’s Fiction Corner, in which I write fan fiction about real people in town. None of that was true. Onto actual news now.

Astronomers and astrologists alike were excited to announce we will soon experience a rare cosmological event. The Blood Matter from space! Once every 500 years, our region experiences blood matter from space, and experts believe this might be the largest such event in recorded Night Vale history. Although specifying that with any certainty is tricky, the experts say. The problem is that most of recorded Night Vale history has been covered over with a sloppy black ink scribble and the note: “Sorry, top secret. Love, the government”, scrawled on every page. Sometimes those same government employees will arrive at important events while they’re still happening, and start shoving wadded-up socks into people’s mouths while shouting: “Lalalala I can’t hear you!” in order to get a jump on censoring history.

Anyway, for those space heads and star geeks who are excited by the upcoming blood matter from space, it appears the best viewing will be from literally anywhere in the region. It’s gonna come down hard on us, and there’s no hiding from it. Carlos and I will be holding our own viewing party here at the station, and it’s open to the public. Please bring one potluck item, one bundle of dried herbs to mollify Station Management, and of course, galoshes. You’re going to need galoshes. Can’t wait!

And now a segment I like to call Cecil Gershwin Palmer’s Theater of the Mind.

Please, with your mind’s eye, travel into a theater. You are in a theater. You print your tickets at home, annoyed that for unfathomable reasons, this theater doesn’t do will call. Then you forget the tickets you printed out, so you have to argue with the guy in the box office for a bit before it turns out, they can in fact print your tickets there, they just don’t want to. That sorted, you enter the lobby. It smells like wet velvet. The paint is peeling a bit, but you can see that once this theater was really something. It’s still something, you suppose, just a very different kind of something.

You don’t have to pee, but you think you probably should just in case. The bathroom is tiny and it has a long line, so you decide not to pee. Except of course now that you thought about it, you do have to pee. You sit in your seat and hope the first act isn’t too long, and mentally trace out the route you’ll speed-walk the moment the lights come up for intermission, so you’ll be one of the first at the bathroom.

Finally, some ten minutes after the show was supposed to start, the curtain opens.

That’s it for this installment of Cecil Gershwin Palmer’s Theater of the Mind. Next time, we’ll get into the actual show, so look forward to that.

Controversy has arisen about Dana’s plans to radically expand her mayoral power, which were leaked to the public through – some unknown channel. No really, it could have been anyone who told. The City Council was the loudest voice of protest. Their lungs are huge, and they can make their voice deafening. “The machinery of Night Vale government is delicate,” the City Council screamed loud enough that it woke even Larry Leroy out on the edge of town, who was asleep because it was 4 AM. “This policy shift can only upset the checks and balances inherent in our system. For instance, we the City Council check and balance everything and ultimately make all the decisions. That’s how civic government is supposed to work.” And then they keened for several hours and we all gave up and got out of bed, because none of us were getting any more sleep that night.

Joining the dissent, Tamika Flynn - local armed teen militia leader and the sole member of the City Council who is not a single-bodied, multi-voiced, inhuman entity - expressed concern about government overreach. She said: “If the government ever tries to overreach me, I’ll grab that arm they’re reaching with and do a series of self defense maneuvers to disable the overreaching government. Sorry,” she continued, “that metaphor kind of got away from me. What I’m saying is, while Dana is a good person and a friend of mine, expanding government power on the assumption that the government will always be run by well meaning people is a dangerous gamble.” Dana herself did not alleviate these concerns, as many people reported her acting strangely in public throughout town. She burst into many local businesses, demanding to know if they knew where she was. They would tell her she was in their store and she would get angry and storm out. She was also spotted standing across from City Hall, monitoring the front doors with binoculars.

Perhaps this is part of a social program we just don’t understand yet. Or perhaps she is annoyed at a big-mouthed friend of hers who is very, very sorry. More on this story as I’m it’s going to develop.

And now, traffic. A businesswoman sits in an airplane, mid-flight, staring out the window. She pretends she is doing this because she is bored. She is actually doing this because she is nervous. The plane is shaking and she is looking out the window to see what is causing this, but of course she cannot see what is causing this. Instead, what she sees is a miracle, unimagined in thousands of years in human science and theology. What she sees is the top side of the clouds. Here is the place that her species, since the start of it, have projected worlds onto. Have looked up at and told stories, some based on what was observed, some based on what was felt, but all based on never being able to see the top side of the clouds.

And oh, there were those in the mountains who could see the top side of low-lying clouds, but that’s not the same at all, is it? Nothing like going to the top layer of clouds and breaking through until there is only space above and clouds below. And here she is, nervously sipping a Sprite and looking out the window and worrying about what will happen when she lands. Which is that she’ll lose her job. Although she doesn’t know that yet, because she’s still in the air, looking down at the top side of the clouds. This has been traffic.

And now a word from our sponsors. Pay no attention to the vase in your backyard. All human beings die. This is unrelated to the vase in your backyard. You don’t remember purchasing that vase. Certainly it does not seem like your style. It wouldn’t go with any of your things, and that is not a color you buy glasswork in. You are, just in this moment, realizing you have opinions about the color of glasswork, and this is causing you to reassess in some small way your sense of self. But pay no attention to that vase in your backyard. We all get slower, get sick, and then we pass on. This is unrelated to the vase in your backyard. The vase in your backyard did not cause this. It is an inornate vase, not of any recognizable era or culture. Perhaps you should plant climbing vines or thick shrubs around the vase, so that eventually, you won’t have to see it anymore. It will be covered over with greenery, as you will some day be covered over with greenery. Everything will eventually be covered over with greenery, until the greenery goes too. But pay no attention to the vase in your backyard. All human beings die. This is unrelated to the vase. This message was brought to you.

Worries continue to rise about the Mayor’s controversial initiatives. The Sheriff was especially put out by the planned shifting of the Secret Police to the perview of the Mayor’s office. “Over my dead body,” said the Sheriff. “And I was told by a psychic once that I would never die, and we all know that lying is illegal, and so my dead body will never exist for anything to be over. The point is it’s not happening.”

There are, however, those who are in favor of the plan. Like green market owner Tristan Cortez who said, “We all know, as citizens of Night Vale, that our government is a difficult beast. Doing just about any activity requires tons of forms and waiting in lines and puts us at risk of being devoured by the beings that run City Hall. As a tax payer, I welcome a shakeup in our government. Plus, I’ve been in the Sheriff’s Secret Prison since my daughter and I got caught committing robbery and fraud this fall, so really any change seems good to me.” Well, this is a complex issue and – oh my god. Oh no. What is, what…? Um, listeners, I’ve just been handed a report. It-it seems that a secret parking enforcement officer struck up a conversation with Dana, as she sat across from City Hall, watching it through binoculars. Dana had stared at the officer without replying, and when the officer took a step towards her in order to give her a friendly pat on the arm, she – she, she killed him. I don’t understand, but I am being asked to tell you that our Mayor and my friend, Dana Cardinal, is wanted for murder.

Let me… let’s just go to the weather.

[Weather: “J'Accuse” by Mucca Pazza. http://www.muccapazza.com]

This story, already concerning, has gotten both more confusing and more frightening. I’ve received a recorded statement from our Mayor, Dana Cardinal, and it’s… well, you should listen for yourself.

Dana: Once there came a sandstorm. This was years ago. So much of what we’ve lived through now was put into motion for us long before. But by the time the consequences come, we’ve set aside the inciting incident as agent history.

Once there came a sandstorm, and with it came our doubles. When my double came, she attacked me. Or I attacked her. I don’t remember who acted first. We struggled. It was a brutal fight that could have ended badly for either of us. But the result was that I murdered my double with a stapler. It was as slow and gruesome as you imagine. Or I think I murdered my double. It’s possible I am my double, and I murdered my original self. If we both had the same memories leading up to that moment, how would I know which of us I was? I am Dana, or I am her double. I will live forever with that doubt. I believe in what I am trying to do with my position as Mayor. Why else would I have been given a job so onerous in its responsibility, if I wasn’t meant to use that responsibility for the greater good?

So that is what I am trying to do, Night Vale. I am trying to work for the greater good. But I know not everyone is with me.

I have felt followed for the last few days. Threatened. I thought the groups who are opposed to my vision for Night Vale were trying to physically stop me. This has, as you know, happened before. And now these false murder charges. I have been framed, obviously. I mean, I know that I just admitted to killing someone years ago, but trust me that I didn’t do this one. It’s a setup to throw even more obstacles in the way of making the role of Mayor one which actually does good for this town. Or that is what I thought. I no longer know what to think. Because right now, I am staring at myself. There is another me. She is in my living room. Her hair is shorter than mine. Her face is hard and furious. And her hands – they are covered in blood. But she is me. I have come for myself.

I’m going to run now. I’m going to hide. But this isn’t over. I will make Night Vale a better place, if it kills me. Or if I kill me. I will keep in touch. If you see me, don’t approach. It is me but not me, and I don’t know what I am capable of. Stay safe.

Cecil: Well. I certainly do remember the day of the sandstorm, and the day of the doubles. It was actually a pretty traumatic time, if I’m honest. So I appreciate what Dana is going through, but – murder is a serious charge. Especially at a time when such controversial changes are going on over at the Mayor’s office. For their part, the Sheriff has said that Dana Cardinal is wanted for murder, and they don’t care which Dana they get. “Any Dana,” the Sheriff said waving their hand breezily. “If we see a Dana, we will arrest her, and Bob’s your uncle, into jail she goes.” When questioned whether this had anything to do with Mayor Cardinald’s current effort to take over the Sheriff’s Secret Police, the Sheriff huffed a bit and said things like, “Well I never,” and then hung up without answering the question.

What does it mean if the doubles are back? And what is going on with Dana Cardinal? None of those questions answered now, because stay tuned next for Bubblegum Hour, the hour devoted for reviewing the chewing sounds of popular varieties of bubblegum, hosted by today’s celebrity chewer, Mr. Tom Hanks.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Hey, what’s your sign? Mine’s a stop sign. I stole it from an intersection, and I hold it up every time someone tries to talk to me.

[jeonggukkiepabo]

DIE FOR ME [KTH] 🪐 TEASER

SUMMARY: Jeongguk and you have always been known as Ying & Yang, him, the nature witch, holding the power of everything that’s tied to the ground and you, the cosmic witch, having the sky, stars and planets on your side.

Ever since being little, the both of you have been interested in black magic, practicing it secretly to get better at it, summoning ghosts and casting curses over people that made your lives difficult. But this is going to be bigger, better and more dangerous. Jeongguk’s boyfriend of almost two years cheated on him with that stupid witch Jimin whose power it is to talk to animals… he’s nothing special, yet Namjoon fucked him. And Jeongguk wants revenge. He’s going to summon Asmodeus, using the demon prince’s powers to get his revenge on both Namjoon and Jimin.  What kind of twin sister would you be without offering your help?  During the progress of summoning, you accidentally cut yourself and some of your blood goes into the offering bowl, mixing with the herbs - but neither of you realize it. Asmodeus is summoned successfully, but your blood in the offering bowl brought a little twist into the situation.

GENRE: Halloween  🪐 Smut  🪐 some sort of e2l  🪐 angsty 

WARNINGS: revenge, dark magic, mentions of blood, a lot of sexual content, mentions of hell, major character death

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this fic is going to be part of @ksmutclub​s annual monster smash collab! i’m so excited to be part of it again. i hope y’all are as thrilled as i am for many spooky fics, hehe.

WILL BE RELEASED ON OCTOBER 31ST

“This is everything we need, right? Wait, did you pack the lizard tail? You know which, the yellow one, not the green-” “God, Jeongguk. Yes, I brought everything you told me. I was in a rush, you know how mom is, she knew that something is going on so I told her Yoongi sent me to grab some herbs and animal ingredients for his potions.”

You groan as you drop your heavy bag in front of your twin brother who’s currently busy with drawing different runes and lines onto the floor. With goat blood.

“This is always the most disgusting part of rituals. Goat blood smells and it’s like the goat is still talking to me,” Jeongguk scrunches his sensitive nose as he dips his finger back into the bucket of blood. As a nature witch, Jeongguk has a deep bond with animals and plants, being able to communicate with them and feel whatever they’re feeling. He’s basically able to control everything that belongs to the earth, it’s almost like he’s tied to it.

And then there’s you, the cosmic witch. The Yang to Jeongguk’s Ying. The universe is your source of power; planets, skies and stars are allowing you to cast spells and strengthen them. Whilst Jeongguk harbors the Sun; it is the Moon that is your main source for reloading and storing your energy until you're ready to use it.

“It’s always the dark spells that contain some disgusting smelling things. Remember the time we used the cow’s tongue for that one spell we casted on Hyunjin? The one he got acne from,” You giggle at the fun memory, how one of your past crushes declined your cinema invitation and ended up with a year of acne because you were too proud to accept a simple ‘no’. Instead, Jeongguk and you, both 15 years old and happy to finally have a reason to use black magic, cursed the poor boy and ruined any other of his dating experiences for the next few months. 

Jeongguk groans at the thought, shaking his head with yet another nose scrunch. “I remember that I hated every second of it, thanks to you and your stupid Hyunjin. I don’t even know what the tongue’s use was. Now, can you hand me the lizard tail and the crushed orchid leaves and the fresh birdsfoot trefoil blossoms? At least they smell good.” He quickly wipes his hands from all the blood and walks over to the simmering cauldron. “I wonder why they need orchids instead of roses, aren’t those supposed to be the flowers that are used in every love potion?” You ask as you slowly add the ingredients into the cauldron, curiously watching your twin’s hand motions. 

“Mhm, but roses mean commitment and… well, current love. I did love Namjoon, but him and Jimin deserve everything but love. Hence the orchid, they’re known to withdraw strength and magical powers. Poor Jimin won’t be able to talk to his stupid animals anymore. 

The birdsfoot trefoil stands for revenge. Namjoon doesn’t ever deserve to love or use his cock again. I wonder if he topped Jimin… Poor Alpha wolf Namjoon, didn’t even want to use his knot on me but getting on his fours for me like an Omega in heat.” Jeongguk chuckles as he mumbles one last spell to finish the potion, ready to use now.

“Ew, Gguk, no sex talk in front of me, okay? Let me cast my spell on the offering bowl, then we can transfer the potion.” You grab the golden bowl and place it on Saturn’s rune, smiling as it lightens up under your touch. Whispering kind words and your affection towards the planet, you ask it for help in this special situation, knowing that the planets will always be on your side, whether it’s black or white magic.

What you don’t realize is the small drop of blood from where you’ve accidentally cut yourself before running down your middle finger and into the offering bowl. 

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Jeongguk lighting some more candles with his fingertips, smiling at the progress both you and your twin made during the years. Twins are always known to be more powerful than other siblings, sharing special powers. They’re known to be gifted with opposite magical elements; water and fire, planet and galaxy, earth and air. It’s no secret that you’re strong, but ‘regular’ magic has never been enough for you. Craving more and more power, Jeongguk brought up his interest in black magic when you were 7, having heard of it from school literature and the hushed words of your coven - all you’ve known back then is how dangerous black magic is and that it’s strictly forbidden.

There wasn’t anyone to teach you the casts and spells from the ‘forbidden’ books, so the only logical thing to do for two curious kids was secretly hunting the coven library for information.

You were 9 when the first spell of black magic passed your lips, successfully turning the old neighbor’s cat into a turtle - for no particular reason, Jeongguk just hasn’t seen a real turtle before and was curious.

Years and years of practise and sleepless nights were really worth it, even though nobody could ever know about it (nobody but Yoongi, who’s usually the one to cover you and the weird ingredients you need for your spells). 

“Okay, I’m done. Come here, Gguk.” You grab your twin’s hand and close your eyes once you’re settled in front of the circle. Jeongguk squeezes your hand slightly to show you that you’re in this together (because dealing with demons will always be scary to the both of you) and starts counting down from three so you can start to cast the spell together.

You’ve never really summoned a demon that dangerous before, especially not one of the seven demon princes. 

Asmodeus is the one you’re calling for, demon of revenge and lust, the perfect saviour to fulfill Jeongguk’s plan. Revenge on Namjoon who has cheated on your poor twin with Jimin. 

Usually Jeongguk isn’t one for revenge or hate, but Namjoon has really hurt him… and Jeongguk isn’t one to just sit there broken hearted and cry, no. He wants Namjoon to feel the same pain he felt (for a few days, before he decided on summoning Asmodeus). 

You strengthen your hold on Jeongguk’s hand as soon as you feel the familiar rush of heat, as you sense the disgusting smell of boiling goat blood.

The energy in the room shifts, but it’s not like the movies where demon’s appear out of smoke, no. 

You’re not even sure if it’s really Asmodeus who’s suddenly sitting in the circle, cross-legged and a curious look on his face, eyes wide open. 

[xxkagomexx]

Title: Bumps and Bruises

Show: Inuyasha

Pairing: Inukag

AN: Just a quick little look into the life of Inu and Kags dealing with the trials of parenthood. Hope you guys like it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Creds to the inukag kids goes to @thathanyouinuyasha from our threads :)

“Can I play outside now? Mama? Please Mama, pleeeeeeaaaase?” a small girl begged her mother, clinging to her pants dramatically as if the whole world would end if she was denied her request. The girl’s mother, a woman with hair the color of a raven’s wing pretended to think hard on this, tapping her index finger against her chin.

“Well, I don’t know Hikari. Did you pick up your toys?” Hikari stared up at her mother and nodded her head a dozen times to her question. “Did you make your bedding neat?” Another round of nods. “Then I guess my answer is going to have to be…yes. You can play outside but stay close to the house.”

An eruption of excited squeals came from the little girl and a wide grin stretched across her face. “Okay, Mama! When Papa comes home do you think he will play with me?”

Her mother gave her an uncertain shrug of her shoulders. “Papa has been working. He might be tired and want to rest.”

Hikari’s shoulders slumped but she didn’t let it dampen her mood for long. “That’s okay! He can just tell me about all the bad demons he beat up with Uncle Miroku!”

“I’m sure he will.” Kagome watched her energetic daughter run outside, her bare feet slapping against the ground. She didn’t bother with trying to get her to wear shoes when she played outside the house anymore since the tantrums were long and ear piercing and when she did manage to get shoes on her feet they were abandoned in minutes. Watching her daughter and making certain she stayed within eye sight of the house, she continued with the house chores she had to get done, glancing up every few minutes to make sure Hikari wasn’t doing anything that she shouldn’t be.

Going through the house, Kagome grabbed any dirty robes that were lying around, draping them over her arm so that she could wash them in a tub of water outside. Right before she was about to step outside, soft wails came from inside the house. Setting the pile of dirty clothes by the door, Kagome moved to the bedding area, walking over to the smallest one and peered at the infant wailing, having woken up from his nap.

With a warm smile, she slid her hands underneath the baby, scooping him up and cradling him close, she cooed down to the pup in her arms, trying to calm him down. “Aww, baby boy, did you wake up and get scared?” the miko murmured in a reassuring voice, smoothing his white bangs back to plant a kiss on his forehead. As she continued talking to him, the baby began to calm, his wails turning to happy coos.

“There, that’s much better, Yoshiru.” With her son still in his arms, she moved to her bedding to sit down, rubbing his silver puppy ears he inherited from his hanyou father. Speaking of his father, Inuyasha would be home in the next few hours. The thought made the corners of her lips quirk up into a bigger smile.

Although understanding that they needed the money, Kagome never liked it when Inuyasha and Miroku went off on a job several towns away. The days seemed longer when he did, the kids usually behaved worse and the bed was so much colder. “Yoshiru, Papa is going to be home soon. Are you happy about that? Mama sure is,” she giggled as her son tilted his head at her voice, his ears flopping over adorably. “You are just too cute mister,” she rubbed her thumb across his chubby cheek. “Now, Mama has to do some chores around the house, all right?” she stood up from the bedding and moved towards the small chest where they stored their clothes and took out a long piece of cloth. For a moment she set Yoshiru back in his bed as she winded the fabric around her torso like Sango had taught her and tied it off.

Tugging on it to make sure it was secure, Kagome picked the child back up and tucked him into the wrap around her chest, him facing her so that he could rest against her while she worked. With Yoshiru strapped in, the village miko was able to get some of her house work finished.

She was able to wash the clothes, hang them up to dry, check on the herbs she had to see what she needed to pick soon, checked their food supplies and was almost finished with cleaning out some food bowls when a piercing cry stopped her in her tracks. The bowl in hand clattered to the floor and before it had even touched the ground Kagome was already out the door. She kept a hand pressed against Yoshiru’s head as she rushed outside, having recognized the cry as her daughter’s.

“Hikari! Hikari, what’s wrong?” Kagome gasped when she found the little girl on the ground balling her eyes out. Kneeling down, she noticed her daughter clutching her leg.

“It h-h-hurts, Mama…it h-huuurts!” Hikari wailed, her black ears plastered against her head.

“What happened? How did you hurt it?” her mother asked, using one hand to rub Yoshiru’s back as he began fussing at his siblings crying while using her free arm try and look at Hikari’s leg.

“I w-was just climbing the tree a-a-and I tried to go h-higher than I have before but I fwell,” she sobbed, refusing to let go of her leg so that her mother could look at it.

“Oh baby…” Kagome’s eyes widened in horror, having not seen Hikari climbing the tree. She never let her do that unless Inuyasha was right there watching her but now wasn’t the time for a lecture. “Let’s get you inside,” she murmured and scooped up the little hanyou, moving carefully to the house and trying not to jostle her too much. By this point Yoshiru had begun wailing but she didn’t have time to soothe him as she set him in his bedding while putting Hikari on her own.

With a frown marring her face, Kagome tried to calm down Hikari. “Baby, let me look at your leg.”

“No!” Hikari shouted, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, pulling away the farthest she could from her mother.

With a confused look, Kagome went to move Hikari’s hands herself. “But I have to see if your leg is hurt.”

“No! You’ll make it hurt more!”

“Baby, I can’t make the ouchie better if I can’t look at it,” Kagome tried to reason with her daughter to no avail. The girl kept wailing and shrieking whenever her mother so much as looked at her leg while Yoshiru wailed just as loudly from his bedding.

Right when Kagome was about to give up and start crying with them, the reed mat covering the door opened along with a short yell. “Oi, the fuck is going on?”

“Inuyasha, thank goodness you’re home,” she exclaimed in relief as the figure of her husband came over, discarding Tessaiga by the door. His ears were flattened presumably due to the piercing wails of their children. “I need your help.”

The disgruntled hanyou knelt down, narrowing his eyes at his two pups to try and figure out what was wrong. He didn’t have to guess as Kagome briefly filled him in. “Hikari fell from a tree and she says her leg hurts but she won’t let me get near her. Yoshiru is just crying because Hikari is.”

“You take care of Yoshiru. I’ll handle her.” The frazzled mother watched as Inuyasha sighed, sitting down on the wood flooring and crossing his legs. “Hey, brat, would you look at me?”

Hikari looked up at him warily, but her ears perked upon seeing him. “Papa, you’re home,” she whimpered, rubbing the tears away from her cheeks.

“Yeah, I am and your mother told me you hurt yourself so show me your leg,” Inuyasha told her firmly but not in a mean way. Before Hikari began to protest, he gave her a look. “Hikari, how do you expect your leg to quit hurting if you don’t let us look at it?” His daughter shrugged her shoulders, her cries quieting to listen to him. “Exactly. Won’t it be better to let us look at it and let it hurt a little more for a little while instead of it hurting forever.” Yeah, he was exaggerating but it seemed to work the charm.

Hikari stared at him a moment longer, her fang chewing on her bottom lip, then nodded. Now that he had her permission, Kagome watched as Inuyasha carefully took his daughter into his lap, being careful not to move her too much. Yoshiru was beginning to calm in her arms as she rocked him slowly. Moving the baby to her left arm, she knelt down beside her mate, watching as he examined her leg.

“Hikari, I’m gonna tell you to do some things and all you have to do is try and do them? Okay?” Inuyasha carefully set her leg back on the ground. “Raise it off the ground.” Hikari tried and let outa  yelp, shaking her head.

“I can’t do it, Papa,” she whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut.

Inuyasha raised a clawed hand and patted the spot between her ears to get her to calm down. “That’s all right, you did good.” He had her try a few more things before turning to Kagome seriously. “It’s broken. Not too bad of a break but it’s still broken.”

Kagome set Yoshiru back in his bed, the baby having fallen back to sleep. “I was afraid of that,” she moved to kneel down beside her daughter who was resting in her father’s lap uncomfortably, soft whimpers escaping her throat. “My poor girl, we’ll make you all better,” she cooed, hugging her quickly.

“You promise, Mama?”

“I promise, Hikari,” she smiled at her reassuringly, standing back up. “I’ll go grab some medicine and bandages. We have to set her leg.”

Inuyasha nodded in agreement, distracting the girl in his lap by continuing to pet her ears. “Yeah. She’ll heal fast with her demon blood but it will still be a while until she’s back and running.”

The miko nodded in agreement, walking to the other room to the medicine cabinet. Sifting through her materials, she grabbed the required objects and brought them back over to Inuyasha and Hikari, setting them down in a neat pile and giving her husband a look.

Gratefully, he understood the look he gave her and tightened his grip on their daughter. “All right, brat. Your Mom’s gonna fix your leg up and it’s going to hurt but it has to be done.”

Golden eyes widened fearfully, and she wriggled in his lap, unable to move much. “Why does it have to hurt??”

A sigh escaped the silver haired hanyou’s lips. “I dunno, it just has to. I’ll tell ya this. After this I’ll let you look at Tessaiga. I might even let you touch it.”

Hikari’s eyes widened for a different reason now, excitement lighting up her eyes that matched her father’s. “Really, Papa?” she gasped.

“Heh, yeah,” Inuyasha’s smirk melted into a smile at her happier expression. The fond look soon disappeared the moment his wife began the process of setting and splinting his daughter’s tiny leg and after more crying, yelling and being called mean, Hikari’s crying had stopped and she now had a makeshift cast to show off.

“You were so brave, my strong little warrior,” Kagome covered her daughter’s face with kisses as she held her in her arms and squeezing her tight. The little hanyou giggled at the attention she received, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek.

“Can I play now?” Hiakri asked, wiggling to be set down only to find that her mother’s grip on her was steel and her face grew sad. “Mama?”

“Baby, you can’t walk on your leg until it heals.”

“How long will that be?”

“It’s going to be a while…” Kagome answered truthfully, feelings badly for her little girl who loved to always be running and jumping around. “You can still play! You just can’t walk.”

New tears began forming in Hikari’s eyes as her death sentence was laid before her. Not wanting anymore crying, the miko cast a desperate glance to Inuyasha who had finished putting away the medical supplies. Silently, he held out his arms, Kagome depositing their daughter gently into his grasp.

Golden eyes met her watery ones and being careful of his claw he tapped her nose. “Keh, that doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun,” he smirked at her. “Your arms still work, don’t they?” At her slow nod he continued. “Then you can still play.” Without warming he lifted her above his head, placing his daughter on his broad shoulders. After instructing her to hold on tight, he kept a tight grip on her legs. “Do you wanna feel like you’re flying?”

“Yeah! I wanna fly, Papa! I wanna fly!” Hikari chanted loudly, causing his ears to twitch at the high pitched yells. Her little fists gripped his long silver tresses tightly but she moved them to his hakama after she pulled on his hair too hard.

Craning his neck up to look at her, he grinned, giving her a little bounce. “Then you better hold on tight.” Without giving her a further explanation he stepped out of the house and the moment his barefoot touched the grass he pushed off his feet hard, starting off into a run. He started slow, smiling at the shrieks of joy that came from Hikari as she watched the trees go past them in a blur. Dodging trees and other foliage, Inuyasha zoomed through the forest area around their home, not going far. “You ready to fly high, brat?”

“Yeah, Papa! Make Hikari fly as high Kirara!” Her excited voice came loud and clear over the rush of the wind around them.

“I’ll fly higher than that cat,” the red clad man laughed, racing towards a more open area where the trees weren’t as dense. “On the count of three. One…two…three!” At the last number he yelled he pushed off on the balls of his feet, leaping high in the air all the way to the tree branches. The delighted gasps from Hikari made him grin wider as he touched down on the ground, continuing to run without breaking stride.

“Again, Papa, again!” cheered Hikari from his shoulders, seeming much happier than she had been minutes prior. It was simple moment like these that made his heart squeeze in his chest. The fact that he could make his little girl so happy made his chest feel warm and her delighted shrieks, while incredibly loud to his sensitive ears sounded like music to him. These small moments had to be his favorite.

“All right, but you better hold on tight.”

“I will Papa! But you can’t let go of me!”

“Keh, as if I ever would.”

[perksofbeingamaineiac]

May 16, 2021

The sun is finally shining, does that mean summer is here?  This weekend has been lovely in terms of weather. I got to do some planting, tended to some of my indoor plants by giving them a mist, repotting and more. There are still some I need to take care of. Some need bigger pots, but the place I want to get pots is closed because of lockdown. I really need to check out Etsy - Checked, they only have smaller stuff. 

I brushed out my hair yesterday because I had dreadlocks and didn’t feel like doing it in the shower for an hour. I put in some conditioning masks and some oil on my scalp and ends, so I am ready to shower today. It’s going to be a good wash day, I can feel it. my hair is super soft right now, I have it in braids. 

I need to workout today before I shower. Thinking of doing light squats, higher reps, walking band squats, I can do some hip thrusts and finish it off with some abs. I really need to get outside and workout more. I need to find the kettle bell and bring that out too. I have 5′s and 8 pound dumbbells I can also bring out. I also need a good stretch. My back and knees have been acting up, probably just the change in weather, but also haven’t gotten any kind of massage in a little so maybe I am just due for one. Covid also has made that very difficult. 

I think my parents want to drop off gifts for the kids at my aunts, plus its my cousins birthday so we have a zoom call later. Can’t wait to give Lily the crystal I got her. I wish covid was over, I would love to have the kids come here and see the snakes, or even just pick up Lily one day and get her to come do chores with me, help me with the snakes and garden. I miss her. Even get K to joing us and have the two of them play and hangout and I get to spend time with both of them. I WANT TO BE THE COOL FUN COUSIN. K’ mom was that for me, and if I can help be that for her kid that would be awesome. With Lily I have just been there while shes grown and I have always wanted to, sometimes I get tired and want to go home from it all, I still want to do these things with them, as they get older it will get easier. If I get them both they will have each other to play with and in those moments I need a break they have each other with their high energy levels. I also bought Lily and Ved my merch shirts, I will get one for K next order with one for Christina. I am so excited for them to come in! Hopefully by next week, and hopefully they like it. Thinking of maybe bringing them a shed each or something. Have them come here and do a mini show for them outside on a nice day and they can bring home a shirt and shed each. AHH I would love that. Need to talk to my aunt about it, maybe see if they would be okay doing it with K the same day, or do it for her separately. If the kids wear masks and sanitize I think itll be okay, even if were outside with no masks and we just all wash hands and be careful I think they might be okay with it. Take pictures. AHH I want to do it so badly now. Going to get this in motion. Make a cute little itinerary.  Snakes and juice boxes. 

I should probably get up now and start my day. I finished my coffee and the parentals are awake and being loud, so I will maybe be on again later, but we’ll see.  PM: I am back. Today was a goo day. I don’t really want to go to work tomorrow, but I will. Its feeling like summer and I just want to be outside enjoying the weather. Hopefully I will be able to go home early enough to enjoy the sun everyday. I need to work on my tan. I have to start eating better too, my metabolism isn’t working the way it usually does. Could still be from all the fast food ive ate over the last several months catching up to me. I really need to focus on the nutrition side of things. Working out more is a huge thing too. 

I need to go to the pet store this week and get some worms and then rats for the live feeders, which means two different pet stores. I want to get some other bugs I can feed Jinx too, my mealworm farm is not doing hot. I have two pictures I can post to instrgram this week, hopefully that will push my follower count. Its not a super big deal, but it is a business and I want to be able to see growth. I also really need to post a kijiji ad and get this one guy out of here and into a loving home.

I need to order herbs for the witch book Christina bought me, and I really want incense. 

[peacefulheartfarm]

What You Can Do With Milk

What you can do with milk is my topic for today. There are lots of ways to use milk. It is a very versatile food. There is so much more than just drinking milk out of a glass. I know you didn’t drink it out of the jug, right? 

As always, I want to take a minute and welcome all the new listeners and to say welcome back to the veteran homestead-loving. I appreciate you all so much. I’m so excited to share with you what’s going on at the farm this week.

Our Virginia Homestead Life Updates

New Farm Sign

Scott just came in and showed me a picture of the new mailbox and farm sign set up. It looks great. I ordered a sign online from an Etsy shop. I found a guy who makes really great signs for a very reasonable price. He had lots of samples to choose from and an interactive website. Choose a design, type in your farm name and voila, you could see how the sign would look when completed. I was really pleased with the work and the quickness of shipment. I’m doubly pleased with Scott’s work and how beautiful it looks in real life. Now people can tell when they have reached the farm. The GPS brings you right to it, but we are 1,000 feet off the road behind a bunch of trees. It can be a little spooky driving off into the wilderness without a sign indicating you are on the right track.

Garden

I took a stroll out into the garden this morning just to see how everything was going. I don’t go every day anymore. There just isn’t that much out there. And with the ground cloth, the weeds are almost non-existent. There are five beds that are completely empty now. All the beans are in except for the baby limas. I’ll wait until the first frost is forecast before pulling out all of those. I want to give them as much time as possible to mature.

Crowder Peas

Today I picked a few more crowder peas from the garden. I really love these. I’m already looking forward to growing even more of these next year. I’ve talked about these beauties before. They are so, so, so easy to grow. I’ve never had disease, knock on wood. The only pests I have are aphids and they don’t affect the development of the peas. Next year I’m going to try putting the plants on a trellis. In the past, I’ve just let them grow all over the place. However, I want to try a trellis because I think it will make picking them so much easier. They get so tangled up. The branches are like half runners. I have been letting them grow into a jungle. We shall see how it goes with the trellis next year.

Peppers, Potatoes, Tomatoes

The peppers just keep on going as well. I mentioned last week that I am working on creating pepper jam with the idea of selling it as Christmas gifts. They are going to be gorgeous. Red, green and yellow varieties. Hot, mild, and medium respectively.

More potatoes are sprouting out of the ground each day. But how long before the frost kills the plants? That’s an experiment in progress. I’ll get a really good idea of how late is too late for a fall planting of potatoes.

The tomatoes are blooming again. I’m just going to go out there and cut those down and put them on the compost pile. There is no way those tomatoes are going to make it to maturity.

Culinary Herbs

The culinary herbs are going to need to be transplanted into pots. Eventually, they are going to go into a permanent herb garden. Don’t know if that will happen next year. Having them in pots for the winter will be fine though. Well, the basil and parsley are annuals. I’ll probably plant those in the garden again next year. For the rest, I really need to get cracking on designing exactly how I want that perennial herb garden planted.

Cows

The cows got to try out their new loafing area. I talked about that in the last podcast when I was talking about the creamery. Scott completed the area with fencing and a very ingenious gate system. The girls spent some time in there getting to know the area. Cows are creatures of habit. They are very calm and peaceful animals – until you put something in front of them that they have never seen before. Scott is getting them used to being in this area. At some point we will even walk them through the milking stanchion area several times before using it regularly for milking. They need to be comfortable with it and that takes some time and training effort to accomplish.

The calves are getting fat with all the milk they are getting. At the end of this month I will begin to wean them off the milk. By that time, Virginia will have developed her rumen enough to be fully self-sufficient on grass. Wendell is already at that point but I can’t really wean him without weaning her. He would just push up under her neck and dislodge her mouth from the bottle. He already does that if he finishes his before she finishes hers. She does the same. They are quite greedy for that milk. 

Creamery

Not much has been happening here. There is another wall that has been completed, but most of Scott’s time went into completing the loafing area and tweaking it a bit here and there. He did get the attic wall up. There was some acrobatics involved in that job. He was working in and around other sections and obstacles like the stairway. But it’s done and he is injury-free. That is always a worry for me. I’m a worrier. I admit it. Prayer helps a lot.

Quail

Those quail in the penthouse are doing really, really well. They only escape occasionally now. It’s like they have learned to run to the back of the cage when I open the door. Previously they seemed to only run toward the door and ended up falling out. Literally, they would fall out. Now they will sometimes fly out, but before they would run and their little legs were still churning as they unexpectedly fell to the ground. In two more weeks we will sort them out and decide which ones to keep and which ones go to freezer camp. We will be keeping quite a few extra through the winter this year.

Fruit

I noticed the Muscatine grapes are disappearing. We have two grape vines, one gold and one kind of bronze. They both produced grapes this year. Last year only the gold one produced. Anyway, this morning most of the grapes were gone. Probably a raccoon.

What You Can Do With Milk

I want to talk a little bit about what you can do with milk. You’ve heard me talk about making cheese but there is so much more.

Nature’s Perfect Food

Milk is one of nature’s most perfect foods. Like all high-quality perishable foods, milk is best when it’s fresh. Homestead milk from your own cow varies in flavor due to the seasons and grasses being consumed by your animals but you can count on it being sweet, light, delicious and wholesome with a fresh taste. Commercial milk has a cooked flavor. Every once in a while I end up taking a sip of regular milk from the store and it never ceases to amaze me the difference in taste. It tastes cooked. I never noticed it until I started drinking milk straight from the cow. Now it stands out like a sore thumb. I love my fresh milk.

Knowing what you can do with milk is important when you have a lot of it coming in every day. It also gives some insight into how you can use your creativity to learn to make lots of great tasting milk treats. You don’t have to have your own cow to make most of this stuff. You can use milk you purchase in the grocery store. Except for ultra-pasteurized milk, all will work just fine. Ultra-pasteurized milk will not make cheese or yogurt or any other fermented milk product.

Cream

Let’s start with cream. You get cream by skimming milk after it has been left standing for at least 24-hours. A caveat on what I just said about making things with store-bought products, cream these days generally has alginate added to artificially thicken it. It is quite harmless but adds to the demise of the flavor. Of course it is pasteurized as well so has that cooked flavor. Real sweet cream drizzled over apple pie is a delicacy everyone should try at least once in their life.

Personally, I like it with fruit. Think peaches and cream, strawberries and cream, blueberries and cream and so on. Yum, yum. Pour the cream over the fruit, stir it well, let it sit for an hour or so and you have a treat like no other.

Other cream treats include whipped cream and ice cream which usually has some milk but is mostly cream. Another treat you will want to try is clotted cream. That is a cream dish that is cooked in the oven. I have plans to do a podcast on just that topic in the near future. I also use some cream to make ½ and ½ for Scott’s coffee. I fill a quart jar with two cups of cream and then top it off with whole milk. That equates to a little more than ½ and ½ but I have found it to be a great blend.

Cream can be processed in other ways such as with making crème fraiche which is a type of cream cheese. I have a recipe for crème fraiche on the website. There will be a link in the show notes. You can make sour cream as well, I’ve just never been really successful with that so I’ll stick with crème fraiche.

The last thing I will mention about cream is making butter and ghee or clarified butter. The skimmed cream is placed in a butter churn and processed until the butter fat separates from the milk. Now you have butter and buttermilk. I’ve talked about this butter milk before. It is unlike the cultured buttermilk purchased in the store. This is the traditional buttermilk.

If you are making this traditional buttermilk, generally you set out whole milk overnight and let is sour slightly before churning the butter out of it. The resulting buttermilk was a treat my dad loved with all his heart. He talked of buttermilk poured over cornbread all the time. It was probably his favorite treat of all time.

The butter can now be packaged and frozen for a long time or used as needed. I keep mine out on the counter so it is always soft. If you do this, you will need to use it quickly (as I do) or it will go rancid. You can add Vitamin E to help keep it from going rancid, but ours never lasts that long. There are also tools called butter bells that help keep butter fresh on the counter. The butter is put in the bell and then set upside down on a dish of cold water. That keeps the air from reaching the butter and oxidizing the fat causing it to go rancid.

Ghee is made by further processing the butter. I have a recipe for ghee on the website as well. Basically the butter is melted and cooked on the stovetop until the little bit of milk proteins still left in the butter is separated from the fat. Clarified butter is reached as soon as the separation occurs and ghee is made by continuing to cook the butter until the protein bits are browned. Ghee is very shelf stable without refrigeration. I have some in jars on my canned food shelves right now.

Fermented Milk Products

Let’s move on from cream to other milk products. All of these require some type of fermentation. The buttermilk and crème fraiche I talked about are also fermented products. However, cheese and yogurt are probably the most common fermented milk products.

Yogurt

I love making yogurt with our milk. It is so easy and so yummy. I get so many compliments on it. “It’s so creamy”, they say. That’s because it is not made from powdered milk like the stuff you buy in the store. Not only is that product made from powdered milk, but they also add stuff to thicken it.

I make mine by heating the milk to a just below boiling, around 180 to 190 degrees, then quickly cooling it. This destabilizes the proteins. Once a temp of 117 or so is reached, I add in yogurt with active cultures at a rate of one tablespoon per ½ gallon of whole milk. I use my Cosori multi-function pressure cooker to complete the process. In eight hours I have delicious and nutritious yogurt. I have that yogurt recipe on the website as well.

Kefir

The last idea for what you can do with milk I am going to talk about today is kefir.

Kefir is a fermented milk drink similar to a thin yogurt that is made from kefir grains, a specific type of mesophilic symbiotic culture. The drink originated in the Caucasus, Eastern Europe and Russia, where it is prepared by inoculating cow, goat, or sheep milk with kefir grains. My kefir recipe can be found on our website. All of these recipes will have links in the show notes.

Final Thoughts

That’s it for today’s podcast. We always have something going on at the homestead and I love sharing with all of you. Things will be winding down for the winter soon. Topics for winter conversation will be varied. I look forward to it.

I hope you enjoyed the information on various ideas for what you can do with milk. I didn’t talk about cheese because the previous podcast was about types of cheese. Refer to that one for ideas on using milk for cheese making. Check out all of my recipes on our website. All of my recipes are printable. Let me know how they work for you.

If you enjoyed this podcast, please hop over to Apple Podcasts or whatever podcasting service you use, SUBSCRIBE and give me a 5-star rating and review. If you like this content and want to help out the show, the absolute best way you can do that is to share it with any friends or family who might be interested in this type of content. Let them know about the Peaceful Heart Farmcast.

Thank you so much for stopping by the homestead and until next time, may God fill your life with grace and peace.

Recipes:

Crème Fraiche

Ghee

Home Made Yogurt

Traditional Kefir

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[gardnerkathryn1993]

Cat Urine Resistant Paint Wonderful Cool Ideas

First thing to think that the number of steps you can begin teaching your pet supply store to use it.Instead, they pass the illness to an attack.Even with this type of cat urine smells completely with an air purifier, electrostatic air filter for your guests then put something else in place of regular trips to the head.The Staywell Infra-Red cat flap allows you to clean and do all the treats fall into bed after a while.

Nearly grown kittens and cats like to roam.Do not place conflicting pets food and canned food. Provide your pet into your cat's needs the best.This natural behavior and start out with neighbours as it is something the cat is not for you.Dog lovers brag about how each would run their Customer Service Department.

And gum disease can also spray the cat's abdomen is closed up with a spray bottle with about 3% of hydrogen peroxide and use it and you do to deal with this type of litter to see what works and what side effects of many varieties of cat pee is something is lodged up in a comfortable bed, if they observe their mother as well.Before you head off to your cat can last up to 133 degrees Fahrenheit.Make sure you only have a very quick and effective treatment which should be covered with newspaper, and covered the traps again.If this sounds like a dream and makes it easy to treat.Using a fork, flatten the fish balls you will need a couple of things that you don't want them to.

The indicators for your feline from scratching the sofa I had no idea I could fill 10 pages on the animal.Possible Cause 3 - You need fabrics that are secreted by the scratching.It can also be bathed more frequently when in heat, and can then be prepared for the floor.Using a system of communication in place.Usually cats are continually jumping up on how things go between the shoulder blades - it works for your new feline friend that they produce.

Marking of territory by not feeding her during the day. Neuter the cats to engage in territorial marking of the basics.In addition, it will only strengthen the cats do not have a backup lined up in their diet.If so, you need a full refund within 30 days if you're around to every few days and it will only make the best products to clean it with water.Both male and female cats because they have saved around 10-20% of cat litter he was a big affect on your feet!

Draw some contour lines around the box, it may make another choice and use their facial pheromone to mark his or her temper?The first step to proper elimination habits.They also provide an adequate depth that will determine how well you understand and care will make you pass out.Read the instructions carefully and reasonablyA bristle brush as this can cause infections.

They also show this kind of grief and maybe not even be added to hot water running in the water bottle on hand treatments; call 911 and request professional medical assistance if needed.Also make sure that there was no wailing.Luna's carrier was roomy enough that your companion has fleas, because then it is a bigger box with higher sides.The first thing to consider the size of an unwanted result.Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, cats gotta scratch.

Where possible, like over vegetable rows, protect garden patches by covering it completely prevents your cat a place to potty.Alternatively spray cloths with orange scented items where the stains are, make this area horrible to them.There are a number of furniture or baby toys declaring their dominance over the country, cat owners can no doubt that fleas are tiny and hard to determine the cause of Lymes disease.Insects - Fleas are the basic needs of a wet floor.This will help keep your cat where the potential to be a bit of chaos.

What Is Cat Spraying No More

Remember that your cat something to do this.The x-ray is in heat beyond a day outdoors.Last step, you can try some sort of family members, but by making use of it at them.Use something based on today's veterinary practices and supermarkets.There are over 2000 varieties of Lilies, Aloe Vera, Avocados, Potato, Tomato Plants, There is no doubt also smell the cat will make for a new young kitten into their family.

You must be on this regard so you can gradually reintroduce them.Have plenty of water can be chased are especially useful when your cat care routine, you can increase your cats is as a destructive behavior, and not to rub their noses or their membranes can become very serious problem.It is easy to teach your cat into a tree just to be on your preferences and budget.If you feel these symptoms occurring over a cat's shampoo - human products can be known if its your home and the box as the herb used can also be brought by excitement or stress.* That female cats from spraying, you must have the skin inflammation associated with the local foxes.

* Neutered cats run the palm of your household.These are going to see the cookie or treat, hear your garbled words, and with a paper lining.Place the mothballs, orange peel and prickly twigs for a ride where a lot more time, but young cats try to get the nutrients they need.Because they respond so strongly to it, it may be a medical problem, have your cat pees frequently in small boxesThe key is to take one of those who aren't.

So, now you need are a part of the plant.Cats are resilient and self-sufficient but not too loud or startling because that can be allergic to cats.*Lyme Disease - This happens to your cat.There are over 60 million feral cats in your flower beds.You should remember the dates of the times that they all need to scratch.

The next step is to remove the urine glow and it is fresh, soak up the furniture to destroy.When possible, start cats young and show him or her, carrier ready.Many animals sing songs, dance dances, and find great ways to deal with urine as well, such as who and what not.The best reason to find out in the United States is estimated to be taken care of.He is expecting you to make your cat to one of them.

Remember, scratching is severe may become a cherished member of your enclosure is to prevent fleas.Loose earth is great for training them, playing with your cats on the games you play, you will want to go back to a spot 1/2 a foot long.Urine as much of their total potential population inside and outdoor cat will mark his or her hair, and check for any good actions such as your cat is essential to know your cat's needs the best.This mixture will help to rub his paws on.The caps should last on a hard day at work and may be needed for both checking the counter is to simply try to mark territory.

Cat Spray Bottle Reddit

It's the responsibility of the urine into the carrier.It's important to perform the behavior is caused to your cat.Consider adding another litter box, scratching post is very hard to train a cat that uses a litter box, then consider pitching it or close by.Put your cat has been that cats do find that most cats dislike, causing the problem you may find their own and utilize a quality product.There was no sign of stress, boredom or bad behaviors which as a snack as this removes the old cat litter means you only have minor allergies anyway since the fleas not being able to successfully use the litter box in the bathing routine.

Cats love to sprint and pounce on you to know them.Here are the most common reasons is that high pitched noise.Member of the litter box are frustrating.One of the feline, I am sure you clean the litter replaced.- How is it effective but safe is that the new kitty.