#i am a physics student at heart 💔

[apprentice-s]

i should work on making art for fics i like

[februaryflowers]

the way to a choi san’s heart is through his maruchan ramen

san randomly strolls into the dorm kitchen one day and also strolls into your heart at the same time

warnings: loud noise, hot take san is a cs major... (sorry...im not that sorry though...im standing by this decision), yeosang is an implied engineering physics major (i am, however, sorry to yeosang for that one...)

straight up fluff, 2987 words, san x reader | college au (has a lot of american college experience elements like dorm building living n stuff), a little love at first sight vibes??

a/n: im sorry but if i have to be stuck in stem then im gonna force uni au ateez to be too 💔 also fish tofu mention bc fish tofu is my love and part of this fic was inspired by real events to some extent LOL 

Watching pedestrians shiver in their coats outside through the window makes you wince. It’s a good thing you didn’t go outside tonight. You don’t think you would’ve survived all that wind in the freezing temperatures.

But alas, you still need something to eat for dinner, so it’s a night of instant ramen for you. Standing in the toasty dorm kitchen boiling noodles is plenty good enough for you, though, as long as it means that you don’t have to go out today.

Turning back to the stove, you place the brick in the pot, submerging it fully with a fork before you turn on a timer. With everything set, you return to the glass, watching the world go by below you.

However your peaceful reverie doesn’t last long, a crash coming that makes you jump and grimace. 

“Sorry!” sounds through the air, and when you finally open your eyes, the voice’s owner is squatting on the ground, picking up his own pot and a small bag.

As he rises to his full height, he finally finds the courage and meets your eyes, his cheeks growing a pink similar to that of some of the bustling students down on the street.

“Oh, sorry!” he exclaims again. “Were you making something? I can come back later.”

“It’s okay,” you smile, stepping to the side to give him room at the counter. “You can use that burner; I’ll be done soon anyway.”

With a quiet nod, he goes to the sink before placing his cookware on the stove. “I didn’t mean to startle you, sorry.”

“It’s alright,” you chuckle. “Accidents happen…”

“San,” he finishes. “I’m San.” 

“Y/n. I actually live in the room right next to here.”

“Oh?” he asks before his eyes land on your own cooking experiment. “Ramen?”

“Yeah. It’s too cold to go out,” you laugh. “Didn’t feel like putting on ten jackets just to get burnt pizza or something. I see you also are partaking in the art of instant noodles.”

He grins. “My friend wanted some and I didn’t feel like studying anymore. Perfect excuse.”

“Oh who’s your friend? Maybe I know them.”

“Yeosang. He lives in—”

“I know him!” you exclaim. “He’s the best study partner ever, I swear. I dunno how he does it; I think I’d die if I had to use that many equations.” You shake your head with a fond smile.

Before San can reply, however, a beeping rings through the room, causing you to pull away and tend to your noodles. Now in silence, he glances over to you, your lips pursed as you use a fork to strain the water out. 

Has he ever seen someone as cute as you? He’s sure that other people have the same unconscious habit, but there’s something so endearing about the way you pout in concentration to avoid burns or spillage. He could probably stay here forever just to keep talking to—

Your movement pulls him from his reverie, his eyes immediately falling to the tile as you grab the cover to your pot and prepare to head out. 

But instead of leaving right away, with the steaming pot in your hand, you turn to him. “I’ll see you around?”

His gaze shoots up from the floor. “Oh yeah! I’ll see you around.” 

The little wave with your free hand does him in before you disappear around the corner. He hardly knows you and yet he bets that when he goes to deliver Yeosang his dinner he’d even get on his knees and thank him for making him make ramen tonight. Maybe Yeosang would even offer to set up a—

Sighing, San rests his cheek on his knuckles with a small smile as he thinks of you. 

Oh, he’s down bad.

Tonight’s studying requires a midnight snack, you decide. So you gather all your cookware and make the short trip to the kitchen right next to your room. It should be a quick mission, in and out and straight back to biology. 

And it starts out that way.

You quickly fill the pot and turn on the stove, your foot tapping on the floor as you wait for the water to come to a boil. 

“I told you I’d see you around!” 

Your leg stills and you whip your head around, met with none other than the sight of Choi San. 

“Hey, San.” You move to the side, giving him room, almost reminiscent of last week. 

“Hi,” he grins, sliding into the space next to you.

“Back for more noodles?”

“Of course; I need my CS nerd fuel,” he quips. 

“Oh my god, thank you again for your help the other day.”

So maybe Yeosang is a good wingman, San thinks, the smile on his face growing softly. After finding out that his friend was in fact crushing on you (San wasn’t exactly subtle in his attempts to ask about you, to which Wooyoung shouted to the whole library), Yeosang reluctantly invited him to your weekly study sessions, and he’d in fact been able to help you with your homework (after Wooyoung called him a nerd and elbowed his ribs to get him to sit closer to you).

But if he thinks about it too long, his cheeks will get even redder, so he simply scratches his neck. “It’s no problem, really. Just lemme know if you need help or something.”

“Thanks, San.”

With both of your pots boiling, you begin to fill them with the noodle brick, but your eyes fall upon San’s overflowing with extra goodies.

“What’re those?” you ask, pointing to the floating rectangles at the top of the water.

“Fish tofu,” he grins. “You want some?”

“Oh, it’s okay,” you murmur, suddenly quiet. “I wouldn’t wanna take your dinner or something.”

“Don’t worry about it.” With those little dimples of his, he slides a couple pieces into your noodles, not another word filling the air between you.

You certainly don’t need to study to know the fact, through and through, that San is incredibly bad for your poor heart. 

And so, one coincidence turned into two, then four, and six. Choi San was just always in the kitchen making ramen. 

Even today, not long after you start boiling water, he comes in. It’s so expected now, and just being with him has become so natural. Shuffling through the doorway, he fills his pot without another sound before placing it on the stovetop next to yours.

“What’re you up to?” he asks, shoving his hands in his pockets and waiting next to you, your eyes all trained on the bubbles underneath the cover.

“Just tryna finish a lab report,” you reply. “You?”

“Needed a break from homework. I think I would’ve lost my mind if I had to think about recursion for another second without something to eat.”

With a small chuckle, the two of you fall into silence once more. Together, alone, you let yourself glance at his face. There’s something so puzzling about him, you realize. It’s as if he only lives in the kitchen. Sure, you’ve met him with your mutual friends on campus, but for someone who lives in the same building, he’s practically a ghost over here. 

“Can I ask you something?” you pipe up, breaking the peaceful lull. 

“Sure.” 

“How come I never see you? I only see you in the kitchen,” you laugh. “I thought I'd at least see you around going to class or doing laundry, just something.” 

He lowers his gaze, suddenly finding his noodles very interesting and stirring them with his chopsticks. “I, uh, I actually don't live on this side of the building,” he murmurs, unusually quiet. His words are barely an exhale, a faint breath that nearly doesn’t reach your ears. 

“Oh…” 

As the steam rises from the boiling pot, he smiles a little, a nervous blush beginning to color his cheeks. “I live on the other side. When we met I was only here because Yeosang asked me to make him some ramen.” 

You recall that windy day two months ago. Midterms season was dawning, so you can imagine the stress Yeosang must’ve been under to resort to asking San to make him something to eat. You hardly even saw the man unless he was scurrying to the dining hall, claiming he was going to die from studying so much physics.  

“I didnt wanna study so I came over and well…” 

“You kept coming over,” you finish. 

“Yeah,” he admits with a quiet laugh. “I just…like spending time with you.”

“Y’know,” you exhale, “you don’t need to make up reasons or walk across the building to see me.” 

His eyes widen. “Really!?” 

“Yeah.” A small grin laces your lips as you nod. “I like spending time with you too.” 

Comfortable silence falls upon you both as the minutes count down, the ticking of time for the small moments you share. You like spending time with him too. Maybe, even if you don’t feel the same way he does, you could at least be friends. You could be friends all on your own, without any meddling middle men. San thinks he’d like that, that he’d rather have you as a friend than be nothing at all. In whatever way you’ll accept his affection, that will be enough.

“Although, I do have a question.” 

His head pops up, wide eyes blinking back at you before they soften. “Shoot.” 

“How do you always know when I'm here when you live on the other side of the building?” 

Color rises to his cheeks once more, a deeper red definitely not from the heat of the steam. “My friends…my friends like to tease me. Y’know Jongho?” 

You nod. “He lives around the corner from me.” 

“He always texts me when he thinks he hears you going to the kitchen,” he admits before his eyes widen. “That's kinda creepy, wait. I'm so sorry! I swear I'll tell him to stop. I can stop com—“ 

You laugh before shaking your head, causing him to stare a little bewildered at you. “Please don’t stop. I like spending time with you, San. I like spending time with you… a little too much.”

He stands, eyes blown as he finally turns to you and blinks. “Huh.” 

“Gimme your phone.” 

Taking his device out of his pocket, he hands it to you silently, still gawking at you and your words. When your fingers brush he jumps back, his brain jumpstarting and observing you. There’s a silly smile lacing your lips as, wait, are you… you are! You’re putting your number into his contacts!? 

“Next time I'll just text you when I'm making ramen. Maybe I’ll even head over to your kitchen.”

Then you turn back to the stove, tending to your noodles as if you didn’t just so brazenly flirt with your crush while his jaw falls open. 

San thinks he could die right now. He could die right here, right now, and be perfectly content. Not only would he not have to take his computer science exam next week, but he also has the number of the cutest, funniest person in the university!? This has to be a dream.

You look up from your pot at the large “Ouch!” that rings through the room, turning to meet a San with furrowed brows stroking his forearm.

“Are you okay?” you gasp. “Did you burn yourself?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just had to pinch myself.”

“Huh?”

“I needed to make sure this isn’t a dream, y/n!”

Stifling a chuckle, you return to your noodles once more, the timer now up. “Well, you better call me and take me out on a date, Choi San. I’m counting on it.”

“Oh, you bet!”

It’s fitting that your first real, official date with Choi San is none other than a ramen outing. 

Stifling a giggle as he opens the door for you—ever a gentleman—you try your best to bite down on the large smile that threatens to overtake your features, but San knows better. 

“What!?” he whines, tugging on your jacket as the host leads you to your table and sliding it on the back of your chair. 

“Nothing,” you tease, still playing with his fingers and refusing to let go. “I just think it’s a little funny you wanted to come here for our first date after all the ramen we’ve already had.”

“Well I dunno if the instant ones count. I think we should have actual ramen instead of just making the ones from the value pack I got for a dollar,” he laughs. 

“Hm, maybe.”

And when the food arrives, you find yourself wanting to take everything back. 

“Oh, this looks delicious,” you gasp, your mouth forming a small circle as the steam rises towards you, drifting scents of savory broth and fresh noodles into your nose.

“I told you so!” he teases, his chopsticks already in hand as he admittedly drools over the bowl.

But somehow, San’s grin grows, his cheeky hand making its way over your tray and stealing a piece of tender beef sitting right on the top of the nest of food.

 The smile is still lacing his lips as he chews on the stolen bite, his eyes sparkling a little more at your small pout. “I just need to make sure it’s not too hot,” he quips. 

With a roll of your eyes and your own little quirk of your lips, you dig in, and you just know San was right. You really do need to have the real stuff, not the straight up sodium packs, no matter how many times they come in handy in a pinch.

But before you can even finish savoring the flavor and swallowing, your date has another trick up his sleeve, leaving a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. 

Picking up the best piece in between his chopsticks, he carefully places the perfectly cooked bit in the center of your bowl, those adorable dimples peeking through his pink blush, one that rises not just from the steam. How are you going to finish this meal when he just knows how to make you swoon? 

And, as if that wasn’t bad enough for your fragile heart, he repeats the action no less than three times, even taking it upon himself to blow on the bite then hold it to your lips until you finally eat it. 

Oh, this man is going to be the death of you. 

“He’s in the kitchen?” you ask, holding the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you prepare your pot and fish out a packet from your drawers.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa hums. “You coming?” 

“I’ll be over in a bit.”

“A bit” means less than five minutes as you sprint through the halls to make it over to the other side of the building before he leaves, not bothering to lock your door despite knowing you’ll probably end up hanging out in his room for the rest of the afternoon.

And, true to Seonghwa’s word, San is in the kitchen. With his back hunched over the stove, his hand steadying the pot, his small pout lacing his lips as a stray noodle hits the sink, he doesn’t even flinch at the pounding of footsteps running through the dorm. 

He’s so cute like that, so immersed in something seemingly so simple. But that’s San for you, doing everything with care and attention.

Maybe you’re just in a teasing mood, or maybe San and his friends have rubbed off on you, but an idea pops into your head as you take another moment to admire him. 

With a smile, you adjust your pitch an octave or two. “You’re super handsome.”

“Sorry, I’m not interested. I’m already taken,” San replies monotonously, not even looking up from his task at the intrusion. 

At your burst of laughter, he finally looks up, his eyes widening at your form collapsing to the ground and clutching your stomach as fits of giggles erupt over and over. 

“Huh!?”

“It’s just me, doofus!” 

Joining you on the floor, he kneels over you, tickling your sides with a fond grin before you both pull apart and sit back on your knees.

“You’re so silly,” he teases, tilting his head to the side.

“It’s true though! I was telling the truth!”

But with him looking at you…like that…that warm gaze and bright smile…the last of your laughter subsides, allowing your head to jump back to his words. 

He’s already taken? Well, you hadn’t exactly crossed over to that and had that discussion after your few dates, but…you’d like that, love that. 

“San—”

“Y/n—”

A hint of laughter comes to both of you before pittering out once more. 

“You go,” you murmur. 

“I know I said…” His voice is unusually soft, even more so as he takes a small breath and leaves the rest in the open. “But…if you aren’t comfortable with that…relationship…with me…right now, that’s okay. I can wait. If you want, I’ll wait for you. But as far as I’m concerned, there’s nobody else. So, whatever you want, I’ll make it work.”

His words are barely a whisper now. Glancing between you and his twiddling fingers, he’s never looked so nervous. You’d like nothing more to take his hand in yours and bring that dimpled smile back, easing his racing heart. And there isn’t a doubt in your heart anyway, so why wait? 

Scooting forward, you rest a hand on his shoulder, a small grin on your lips. “Maybe you haven’t figured it out yet but…I’m kind of impatient, y’know.”

And even when the timer goes off, you can’t wipe the smiles off your faces, the two of you playfully nudging the other before going back to San’s room to share his freshly made pot of ramen. It was about time for you to return the favor and start coming to this side of the building a lot more often.

[oceansssblue]

[THE BAD BATCH]—COMFORTING THE STUDENT series.

TECH/READER

WARNING: ANXIETY 💔, COMFORTING FLUFF 💖. NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER. ONLY THING MENTIONED IS READER BEING A MED STUDENT (AKA WHAT I AM, SORRY).

EVER BEEN STRESSED AS A STUDENT? WELL, JUST IMAGINE IF YOUR BB BOYFRIEND CAME TO THE RESCUE. THAT'S THIS.

You read page after page as quick and fast as you can, your eyes flying through the textbook uploaded in your datapad and devouring the unit you're supossed to know by now. You're supossed to have learnt every single unit, actually, as there's only three days left til your exam; and yet this is the first time you've come across this particular one.

It's not that you're a bad student. It's not that you're a good student and time has simply slipped through your fingers, either. No; you've been studying for this exam for months now, keeping up with your collage lessons day by day, making notes and checking extra books that could probably save up the gym fee for some. It's just literally impossible. You've got a hundred units for just one subject, each of them with a hundred slides too. It would already be difficult to prepare for that; and the worst thing is that that is just one of the seven subjects you have for this semester. On top of the pure studying, you have to add the endless –and mandatory– seminar lessons, practical cases, and your non-stop system of rotations in Coruscant's main hospital. You wake up at seven –and eat your breakfeast on the run–; start your theorical lessons at 0800, and finish them at 1300. You get a half an hour break to have lunch; then, you rotate in the hospital til 1830. When you finally get back home, artificial lights are already dimming in Coruscant; you do a study marathon, and pass out in your bed til the next day starts with the same strict routine again.

You love your career. You actually enjoy studying what you do and learning about how the different's species body functions and how to cure them; love helping people too. It makes you happy, as simple as that. It's just... Sometimes you just wished it weren't so difficult. You wished your choice would allow you to live more fully; to go out with your friends more, spend time with your family, to just take a day to yourself with absolutely nothing to do –and not feeling guilty about it–. You're afraid of missing out. But it's your choice. You just hope you're enough to make it through.

Your heart beat speeds up, and your breathing starts to quicken. You don't stop, just try to mentally calm yourself down while you keep flying through the text book. It obviously doesn't work. You're more stressed with each minute that tickles by; all your worries mixing up in your head and making it impossible to think and concentrate. You gulp. It's hard to swallow, now; the knot in your throat dangerously squeezing inch by inch, second by second. You tug at the collar of your shirt, trying to ease the feeling. You feel like you want to cry and shout at the same time. You feel like you want to claw your stress out and nausea pools at your stomach. Your throat keeps tightening, and you can't breath, your eyes tear up til they blurr your vision and...

"Breathe" the firm, gentle voice cuts out through everything, and your head snaps up.

Tech is kneeling in front of you. His own inseparatable datapad lays abandoned on the floor; his bright warm chocolate eyes completely focused on yours behind the yellow lenses of his goggles.

You're nearly hiperventilating, now; you're hands reach to him and your nails sink desperately onto his forearms, eyes begging for help.

"Just focus on me, cyare. You know you're safe with me" he says, voice calm and controlled even if it's killing him to see you suffer. "You always are".

Tech searches your face before starting with a relaxing technique he had learnt years ago; when he himself had been scared of not meeting up the kaminoans expectations in a younger age. He knows what this is about.

"Tell me five things you can see. Do it for me" he commands, softly, hands gently moving to your shoulders and slowly caressing them up and down.

Tech has to repeat his petition for you to actually be able to process it. You stare at him, putting all your effort in trying to think an answer for him. It's stupid, really; but in moments like these it's like your brain slows downs and jumps everywhere. It's difficult to think.

Tech's eyes never leave yours. It's one of the things you've always liked about him; his warm chocolate gaze. It makes you feel special and loved; not disminished at all by those yellow...

"Goggles" you come up with, finally, and the small smile that lightens up Tech's face is a price on its own.

"Correct" he answers, nodding, thumbs making slow circles on your shoulders. "Only four additional ones left".

You nod slowly and search him. He's not wearing his armour. He never does when he's in your apartment, always abandoning it carefully by the front door in a practiced pile. The only thing he conserves is his datapad, that –as you noticed before– it's abandoned on the floor next to him.

"Datapad" you answer, therefore, eyes keeping your scan and quickly finding other things. "Tea cup, music recorder, candle".

Your breathing starts to slow down; not as laboured as before. Tech nods and continues with the technique.

"Four things you can touch".

You frown, a bit confused with this strange method to calm you down, but you follow through. If you should trust someone with something, it's definitively your boyfriend. He's the smartest person you've ever met. And probably that you'll ever meet.

You look around again, your mind unconsciously processing things you are touching now, with purpose or not.

"Clothes, floor mat" you begin, confident, quickly stealing a glance across your room and finishing your task "pillows, closet".

Tech humms. Your heartbeat slows down.

"Three you can hear".

You pay attention to your next sense. Coruscant has always been a busy city; it's never truly silent, not even inside your apartment.

"Traffic, people, your sweet voice" you answer, smiling at your last choice, and your beloved clone smiles in amused surprise.

"Two things you can smell?".

You do a little scrunch with your nose without even being aware of it.

"Leftovers" you confess with a hit of embarassment "and your deodorant".

"Well, I feel lucky someone appreciates it, at least. I'm glad I haven't carried the Marauder's odor with me" he jokes, and he succeeds in making you smile.

The knot on your throat finally starts to dissapear, and you feel like you can breathe again, like you're back in control of yourself. You can think clearer and process everything better. Your nails stop clinging to Tech's forearms, and turns to a gentle hold instead.

Fuck, you love this man. He has everything you've ever looked for in a partner. Respect, attraction, trust. Someone that doesn't need you but that wants to stay; someone that shares his interests, thoughts and feelings and learns about yours as well. Someone that you admire and feel safe with; and not just because he's a soldier and is physically able to. It's mental, as well; you can be yourself with him, without feeling the need to tone yourself down or fearing mistakes. And your favourite part; when you have an argument, he doesn't run away. He gives you space, if you need it; but you always adress the issue and he's able to keep a gentleness and logical disposition even then. You talk about things; and he doesn't have a problem admiting the things he did wrong himself. You do, too. That's probably why you've been together this long; why you work so well.

Affection warms your body and you bend towards him; Tech quickly understanding your need to feel closer to him and carefully holding your face in his hands, bringing your foreheads together in the keldabe kiss he had taught you about when you first started seeing each other. You inmediately melt into his half embrace, and he sighs in contentment too.

"One thing you can taste" he whispers, at last, across your lips, and you already know there's only one right answer for this.

"You" you answer back, voice equally soft and gentle, and you slowly kiss his lips and relax in his arms. Your boyfriend smiles and –unhurriedly– kisses you back.

Tech will offer to help you study after, you know this; he'll find dozens of nemotechnicall tricks for you to remember the hardest things, explain everything you don't quite understand. He'll pin-point the most important aspects and even make you a list of the questions that have more posibilities of making it into the exam. You can do it. You just need to keep working, give it your best. You've been through this before. And if inspite of everything you fail, then it's not the end of the world. You'll have more chances, even if it's unfair and annoying; you'll finish your career sooner or later, and no-one is gonna steal that from you. And defintely not a stupid exam.

For now, you breathe him in and enjoy the moment of peace. Tech hums contently and tilts your head to a better position, deepening the kiss; his thumbs caressing the skin of your cheeks while you melt for him.

<< Just five more minutes >> you think, abandoning your chair in favor of your boyfriends lap. Tech chuckles in amusement and holds you tight.

"I love you, cyare" he mumbles, nuzzling lazily into your neck, feeling glad to see you coming back to yourself.

You sigh and caress his hair.

"I love you too, handsome" you pull away enough to look into his eyes, Tech holding your gaze "Thank you".

He nods and you kiss him again.

THE END.

----------------------

TARAAAA! I HOPE YOU'VE LIKED THIS LITTLE COMFORT ONE-SHOT. I'M PLANNING TO DO ONE FOR EACH BATCH MEMBER, WITH THEIR DIFFERENT APROACHES TOWARDS IT. TECH IS JUST THE FIRST; I'LL WRITE THE OTHERS THESE DAYS!

REMEMBER—IF YOU PUT TRUE EFFORT IN SOMETHING, CHANCES ARE YOU GET WHAT YOU'RE WORKING FOR. BUT IF YOU DON'T, DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU. WE ARE NOT MACHINES, WE DON'T GET EVERYTHING AT THE FIRST TIME. THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T DO IT OR YOUR VALUE IS ANY LESS. TREAT YOURSELF KINDLY; YOU CAN DO WONDERFUL THINGS, JUST BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.

AS ALWAYS, LET ME KNOW IF YOU'VE LIKED IT AND REBLOG IS ALWAYS APRECIATED! REQUESTS/PROMPTS OPENED :)

Xx,

Sky.

Back to my masterlist here:

[dancingqueendc]

Shared from Bing: Weather Alert: Powerful Winds, Isolated Storms to Strike DC Area

It wasn't too bad....I went to do banking, pay bills and grocery shopping for the Lil kitties....they were so happy when I came home with foofoo for them! It sprinkled a lil bit, was unnaturally warmer than usual almost 70F mid-end of fall/Autumn as winter arrives 19-21December last full moon of Gregorian year 2021 it's just another Amazing Miracle day on the Lunar Calendar. We are ending series of struggle/difficult years into an heart/-mind phase that will transform our life if we choose the correct path that Creator-Creation has gifted us/blessed us to follow our hearts'-path to Be ONE LOVE union with Creator-Creation. It is yet even another chance/opportunity/fortune/blessing to live in LOVE/PEACE/JOY. I remember for 5years in early 2000s it was approximately 58F almost every day throughout the winter seasons, likely weather-modification experiments and early stages of geo-engineering, since I have photographs of Niagra Falls 2007Sept where they were spraying faux clouds formations in the skies. 2021-Dec19-21 magical-Love-miracle days Universe is blessing us, so please: Choose-wisely....~ Karate-kid, meditate on it from now Dec12-21. Be Conscious/Conscientious, Be Peace, Be LOVE, Be Joy.... #Gladitude thank Creator for all our blessings, experiences, sufferings, growth, to know the depths of what it is/means to be human.... #humanexperience #accept #learn #grow #envisionCreateTRANSFORM ©1993 ~ @dancingqueendc artist poet/writer/editor scientist engineer USMCR/USN MARINE MIDN4C Vanderbilt University 1993-94 Disabled Marine Veteran Scholar 1992-1999 student for life #humancondition #Spirituality #beliefs #understanding #forgiveness = #unconditional #LOVE = #abundance #joy #infinite #eternal #eternity #forever #iLOVEyou #iAMyou #we = #ew + #me #mirror #reflection of each other #twin #union end #dichotomousthink'ing #Singularity #LOVE power of #positivity When we return to our Creator-Creation/Existence/ itself=ourself there's no physical-whirled there's no material-realm body-eyes to see - we "see" by knowing/telepathy with our Mind/ONE-ness Collective-Consciousness and we know through understanding #pure unconditional #True Love #Truth and #accept #forgive ourself=each-other's mistakes truly repent/remorse to know/feel the depths of sorrow/broken-heartedness 💔 to know/understand our pain/suffering in order to grow/appreciate TRUE LOVE / UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AGAPE THAT WE HAVE FOR EACHOTHER=SELF=ONE-ANOTHER 1AND-OTHER=SELF what I have learned, is that I can be happy for you, and sad with you, to share all our joys and sorrows to truly deeply understand each-other=self-love, in order to be able to love you truly, that I must love myself truly, deeply from the bottom of abyss endless pit of our Heart/Mind/Spirit in order to know/understand to be able to truly Love= forgive self/each-other to truly be happy with self/each-other we must learn to know understand forgiveness/peace to truly know/feel Love for self/each-other through our experiences highest highs and lowest lows....and learning to find that happiness in the middle between life and death and rebirth/transformation.... "I know why the Caged bird Sings" ~ she knows when she was a free bird, wild nature, and being imprisoned in false sense of security, creature-comforts of food/water/nutrition and shelter, as opposed to fighting for her life, hunting for her own food/nutrition, and being free to fly wherever she pleases.... Because I am that free-bird #freeSPIRIT cannot be caged cuz she always knows her worth, her freedom, her hopes, her dreams, her desires.... To be and live freely for herself, not in bondage / not a prisoner of even love.... Her spirit is free. I am FREE SPIRIT, even if you cage me, I know who/what I am and in my HEART/MIND/SPIRIT I AM FREE..... I AM FREE.... I AM PEACE, I AM LOVE, I AM JOY..... I SING MYSELF HAPPY SONGS TO REMIND ME OF WHO I AM.....