#i am aware that some people would think that makes me insane. listen. you don't get him like i do

[roguehanders]

cannot fault anyone for liking their preferred video game romance based on how hot they are, but i'm like super ace and my favorite thing about anders romance is that he's kinda ugly

[emblazons]

I don't usually go to tumblr to talk movies, but I know people are interested in this one because of Finn, so I'll attempt some thoughts more like I do other films (with irl friends, mostly).

My WYFSTW thoughts (in no particular order + a clip)

under the cut, not because I really "spoiled" anything but because I write a lot haha

I really enjoyed this, surprisingly. I kind of expected it to ring a little more hollow than it did based on the reviews, but I think the fact that I've spent a while seeing/reading all the interviews Jesse & Finn did (combined with the fact that I listened to the audiobook) made the characters feel more fleshed out in my mind than they might for other people on screen.

To be honest...this is basically a movie about mommy issues, and if you weren't trying to be understanding, it's really easy to write them both off as unlikable. And I won't lie: in a lot of ways, they well and truly are the most irritating kind of people—they are two sides of the same obnoxiously disconnected (and narcissistic) coin, where neither one of them is self-aware enough to realize how they come off, and both of them expect all of their good intentions to be met with open arms in spite of how much they overlook the wants, desires and interests of others.

That said...their inability to connect to others because of their self-absorption while still desiring deep connection, to me, is something i think everyone can relate to at least a little. The unspoken emotionalism of Ziggy and Evelyn—the way they started searching for each other in other people—was both really heartfelt and heartbreaking, and while I know Finn repeatedly said he felt like he related to Ziggy and honestly (in more remembered than present way) so can I. Somehow, I feel like I am in the space in life between him and his mother: still looking to prove yourself, but also aware of how intense and laborious and full of struggle the wider world can be.

Alisha Boe has the most withering gaze I've ever seen (good for her) and it plays so well into making you want to hug Ziggy despite you knowing he's such a pain in the ass in reality—and the scene between him and his mother in her little "enviro friendly" car where he's asking her for help becoming someone worthwhile only for her to unintentionally insult him up and down...god. You feel so much for Ziggy even when you want to fade into your seat trying to avoid his awkwardness, and Finn's ability to be deadly earnest and endearing doing the most insanely cringe things (lmao) is a power I have to commend him readily for.

Evelyn is much tricker. I would have hated her a lot if I was younger, and I think she deserves a lot less empathy than Ziggy in every situation we find her in (though, in so many ways, we realize they are the same...which makes their relationship all the richer. At least to me). Her attempts to project the relationship she wants with Ziggy onto someone else were insanely brutal to watch knowing how much Ziggy longed to connect with her...and the way Kyle wasn't the son she wanted, despite the one she wanted being right there.

Speaking of...Billy Byrk as Kyle was phenomenal. Like. Good enough to make me want to watch more of his movies, and earnest in a way I really wasn't expecting from a secondary character. He was a standout performance right alongside Finn (unsurprising that they are best friends who make movies and do projects together lol) who I definitely think carried some of the empathy you eventually feel for him and Ziggy in regards to Evelyn, which...yeah. I loved him in this.

All and all, it was a solid movie—flat out hilarious at times and full of that kind of upper middle class suburban nonsense you see in a lot of movies laced with emotions I wasn't expecting to feel. You definitely need to have a good gauge of reading expressions to appreciate this movie because a lot of its weight lives in the unspoken, but. I definitely think most people who enjoy indie / A24 and coming of age films will like it. I know I did.

Bonus thoughts:

the scene of ziggy in his room people were talking about was very tame, especially compared to what happened in the audiobook. Its a little awkward, but nothing you couldn't cover your eyes for like 10 seconds and avoid. It's not explicit in any way.

I cannot understate how funny this movie was at times. There were two older people next to me in the theater and we were all laughing consistently the whole 88 minutes lmao

For some reason, Ziggy performing for people and having it mean nothing irl felt a lot like being on Tumblr in some ways. NOT IN A BAD WAY, but maybe that made me extra empathetic to him LOL

FINN LOOKS AT ALL HIS LOVE INTERESTS THE SAME WAY. Its exactly the same with Ziggy with Lila as Mike with Will because that is Finn's "enamored with you" face, and it was intentional in both WYFSTW and ST. I will accept no arguments.

Prepare to be hurt if you have mommy issues I'm TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW because I felt pain and I don't even HAVE those 😭

...I am open to literally any questions about it / thoughts you may also have lmao my DMs are wide open :) also here is a little snippet of Ziggy wisdom I caught LMAO

[mrcspectr]

oh i would LOVE to hear your marc and jake thoughts, anything you have to say about them i am listening

FIRED from writing about the boys because this took FOREVER sodjfnfkdkd sorry sometimes the brain just. Doesn't. 😅

Ahem. So. (Also disclaimer; this is in terms of their MCU counterparts, comics characterization has some similarities to this in my mind but it's not quite the same.)

I love exploring Marc and Jake's relationship because really.. we don't know a whole lot just yet, so there's plenty of room to play around with, right? Five minutes of a scene of Jake along with six episodes with varying degrees of Marc involvement doesn't really leave a lot of room for canon characterization, but to me, there's really only one way that it works.

The way the show ended left Marc and Steven living as a sort of cohesive, brotherly relationship. Things are bumpy, but they're more aware and are beginning to learn to live in tandem with each other. But it didn't start out that way. We went from Steven not knowing of Marc at all, to confusion, to misunderstanding, frustration, resentment caused by Marc's lies and anger from Steven once he realized how many decisions Marc had been making without his input. A ton of work had to be done and processing needed to happen to an extent so that the two could understand each other. And in that dynamic, Marc held the most information.

So what happens when Marc falls into Steven's shoes?

Honestly, I think it would be incredibly funny.. eventually. The point we're at right now, we've got a pushpin right in the dead center of Steven's timeline in season one. Marc is confused. Marc is missing things. Marc is realizing that this time, he's not the one with the upperhand, he's not seeing all the pieces on the board. I don't think he'd react in quite the same way because he's not Steven; Steven had this intense fear of the unknown, was horrified at the existence of someone he didn't understand. He just wanted his little life with his own things and wanted to be content with that, somehow. Until a certain Mr. Marc Spector threw a nuke in the whole thing.

Marc I think would be more.. frustrated initially. Quick to anger. At first, I think he'd be entirely unwilling to acknowledge Jake at all, assuming that if he just ignores the problem, it will go away. Because Marc knows how their brain works, he would've known if there was someone else. And Jake would just laugh. He'd giggle and chortle and it would drive Marc insane. Like, buddy. You really thought you had this under control, all by yourself? Weren't gonna acknowledge all the missing time that couldn't possibly have been accounted for during Steven's waking hours? The bodies? The near impossible escapes that he had no recollection of? The hazy timelines that Steven seemed to sideeye him for just a little too long during his explanations?

Eventually that anger would still come, in the same way it had with Steven but from Marc's perspective. He doesn't always agree with Jake's violence, but Jake knows Marc had never been entirely above hurting people and isn't afraid to call him out on his hypocrisy. He's saved the lot of them more times than he can count and he won't apologize for it, but Marc Knows Best and is constantly picking a fight regarding Jake's methods, his attitude, his blatant refusal to follow Marc's plans. Again, Marc has always (lol) been the one in control, and giving up the reigns will be. Well. Near impossible.

I could talk about this all day, but the way their habits and personalities bounce off of each other has always been so fun to play with for me. The relationships between the three of them are a kaleidoscope of colors, reflections of each other but varying hues that shine in unique ways.

Plus they're so dumb. But I love 'em.

[alfredo-swauce]

Wax Artist and the Fandom

Alright so I have a LOT to unpack right now with Wax Artist as well as the fandom and how they go about treating wax artist mains and the character as a whole. I would like to say before I start that I am black. However I main Wax Artist. I ended up spending like $300 to get his S tier skin, and then everyone found about about the whole Physiognomy bullshit. As someone who doesn't typically have that kind of money anymore, Its tragic HAHAHA like genuinely it sucks. Had I known perhaps I wouldn't have tried to get it. But I digress.

So what's the whole issue here other than Philippe being a racist? Well. I want to bring up a few points in this post about why I think half the shit the fandom says about him is stupid AND why I think attacking his players (who have no control over his story) is ridiculous and childish.

No one is taking an effort to reach out to devs about the psysiognomy. Like how are you gonna tell myself and other wax artist mains to kill ourselves or call us racist for playing a character that we LITERALLY cannot control. I've had like 3 people (including an old friend who said it as a "joke") call me a disgrace to black people for maining him. Yknow how bad that hurts? As someone who's of mixed race and doesn't feel like they fit in anywhere, that shit absolutely sucks.

People are asking for NE to remove Wax Artist from the game as a whole. Now this one, I can understand to an extent. However, many people do not want this. His backstory (MINUS PHYSIOGNOMY) is interesting, certain headcanons make his character so much more fun; like him just being a silly man who makes wax sculptures, etc. His character design is interesting and very pleasing, It really shows his mental and physical decline as well. All characters have some importance in the story, Wax Artists importance is unknown but I bet he plays a bigger part and will somewhere down the line.

Most white characters are likely racist depending on the time period. It's obvious that not everyone who's white in the game is racist, like historically not everyone was. However given the time period of some of these characters, there's a good chance they could potentially be racist. Now of course this doesn't excuse the fact that Wax Artist is problematic, but I feel like in a realistic sense people tend not to think about where these characters are from AND when they were/are alive. Do I want ANY of the characters to be racist? Absolutely not, but I do strongly believe that given the time periods, it wouldn't surprise me if more white characters had some sort of racist ideology that just wasn't brought up yet.

A lot of people aren't even aware of the racist undertone in Wax Artist's story. I have been playing Wax artist for over a year now and the amount of people I've met who don't even know Wax Artist's story is problematic is insane. Like I'll say he's racist and people are like "wait deadass??" It's nuts. I get these sort of encounters nearly everytime I talk to a player. It's important people know about this issue so we can push for change. I haven't seen a single person try to change his backstory and that fucking sucks. I've seen what we can do when we all come together, and this change could be made so quickly if we work together.

Perhaps there are other things that could've been said but these are the main ones that I think about. I GENUINELY believe we could make the change to Wax Artist's story if the fanbase just listens. I've tried countless time to spread the word on Twitter, but that proved to be a fruitless task. I'm hoping that here I could spread the word a bit more in asking that you email NE and ask them to remove physiognomy from his story as a whole, because believe me I 100% believe his story doesn't need this element at all. He could just be a criminologist who makes wax figures. Easy. So please PLEASE help me out here, I've been practically begging for months now and it's getting exhausting.

NE emails:

gameidentityv@global.netease.com

id5.bd@global.netease.com

or preferably you can comment on identity V's posts asking for the removal of physiognomy from his story. From here on out I'm just gonna keep asking for it every chance I get because otherwise they won't listen. My voice alone will not be enough, so please help out!

thank you so much for reading and I hope you consider helping out. This is very important to me and other wax artist enthusiasts.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

I have no concept of delayed gratification, pls share as much as you are willing!! Will happily devour anything and everything

see under the cut

Private WhatsApp Chat Resumed: Saturday 12th February, 2022, 16:03 Members: Lily Evans, James Potter

================================

Lily Evans: I'm on my way to Leicester for Dad's birthday dinner and Bea did my makeup for our video this morning so I feel far too glamorous for this train. Or at least for the regular carriage.

James Potter: lemme see

Lily Evans: <image attachment>

James Potter: you look beautiful

Lily Evans: Thanks!

James Potter: love that you're so chill about this but fully have to get drunk to let me compliment your writing

Lily Evans: That's different, this is someone else's handiwork you're admiring.

James Potter: on your face, and you're just as pretty without the makeup

Lily Evans: Then it's nature's handiwork you're admiring. Either way, writing is something I have to work really hard at, and there's nobody else around to blame if I fuck up or do a bad job. My face is just my face. It just Is That Way. Some people like it, some don't. Also I HAVE just spent the morning listening to Beatrice tell her cameras and 6 million followers by proxy that I am beautiful and glorious because your best friend is contractually obliged to always do that, so I might be a bit desensitised.

James Potter: so what you're saying is that i need to compliment your writing a lot more so that you get used to it? noted

Lily Evans: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo that is not what I'm saying at ALL, stop running amok with your wild inferences.

James Potter: nature gave you your brain too

Lily Evans: Oh Oh I see So you think That you can argue me down By making Irrefutably Logical Points????

James Potter: that's how most people win arguments

Lily Evans: Be that as it may, my sober aversion to having my writing complimented is rooted in emotion, the natural enemy of logic. Ergo your arguments don't work on me ERGO I win.

James Potter: if my mother saw you acting like this she'd call it my influence and she would be very incorrect, you care way too much about being right all the time and that's never been my problem

Lily Evans: You're also a lot more talented than I am and I'm very aware of that fact.

James Potter: WHAT

Lily Evans: Well it's TRUE!

James Potter: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Lily Evans: You know what I'm talking about!

James Potter: I CAN BARELY WRITE A REGULAR SENTENCE

Lily Evans: I'm talking about your art and your videos and your insane pop-up restaurant menu creations and that concept folder of escape room ideas that I can't even FATHOM how you come up with them??? All I do is write fic!

James Potter: i swear to god lily if i WAS your secret boyfriend i'd spend half my time snogging you JUST to shut you up

Lily Evans: If you were my secret boyfriend I would HOPE that you had other reasons for wanting to snog me besides a desire to make me shut up.

James Potter: if i was your secret boyfriend, we'd have already established that i would

Lily Evans: Can't shut me up from America though.

James Potter: i'd fly over

Lily Evans: Imagine how furious your mum would be if you flew all the way back here for a woman who wasn't her?

James Potter: why imagine it when i could throw myself headlong into an open grave? but stop trying to distract me from being mad at you for selling yourself short

Lily Evans: YOU'RE the one who was all "what if we kissed in the airport?"

James Potter: WHAT

Lily Evans: What?

James Potter: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Lily Evans: If you were flying here just to plant one on me it would be impolite to NOT meet you at the airport, James. Where else would we do it, the office? Shrek's Adventure? Your bath?

James Potter: i'm starting to think that I'M drunk

[portokali]

spotify numberrrress!!

6 19 29 39 43 44

6 is Queen of Kings by Alessandra. That song is/was incredibly addictive and i listened to it extremely on repeat ever since discovering it. i feel the message lyrics-wise is pretty cheesy and basic feminism 101 buuut it's super fun and dynamic! can't resist :D

19: townie - mitski. on sunny days i go out walking / i end up on a tree lined street / i look up at the gaps of sunlight / i miss you more than anything. this is simply one of my favorite songs in the world! i think about it every time i look up at the trees. i love trees and look at them a lot, so this happens often. i also am a strong supporter of the sentiment that you always take the people you love on a walk with you, even when you walk alone. i'm always missing someone, so whenever i go for a walk, in my head, i'm walking with the people i love and miss, thinking how i would show them around my city and my neighborhood and my park. so you understand, of course, why this song and i are one.

francis forever, that was my answer for francis forever. im so dumb and confused and confuse sounds and words with the same picture in front of them all the time :) it makes living my life very hard.

anyway i love townie also for its energy and rage and grief - to me it's a song about growing up, being a teenager about to leave home. i love it's resolution (i'm not gonna be who my daddy wants me to be / i'm gonna be who my body wants me to be) i love love love the line and i want a love that falls as fast as the body from the balcony, and i want a kiss like my heart is kissing the ground hello! insanity! is it dying is it falling in love is it growing up..

but i digress. the reason i listened to it so much is bc of this fancam by comradekatara. thee azula/zuko (but mostly azula) thesis of all time and a personal cutural reset to ME!

29. old friend - mitski. another banger by mitski! love the nostalgia and what-ifness of this song. to me, this song is a sister song to two slow dancers; missing someone you went to school with, but now you're older, some shit has happened between y'all that makes it hard to keep in touch, but through the pain and bitterness there's love and a constant aching (in my head, this song is during the time where the two ex-classmates are still youngish, like say 20s or 30s, wanting to reach out but the old wounds still burn so they don't. then in two slow dancers they reunite at a school gathering years later, when they're in their 60s and think about how they'd do things different if they had the chance). anyway this song makes me want to bite the γυψοσανίδες.

39. mama - mcr. what can i say abt this song! an absolute banger and a classic!

43. savage good boy - japanese breakfast. yessss that's one of my favorite songs! love by someone destructive singing about how they love only one person, would drown and burn the world but for one person... apparently it's the sopranos fanfiction which is the main reason why i wanna watch the sopranos. but even without that knowledge, the sentiment still gets across!

44. the only heartbreaker - mitski. this song resonates bc it reminds me of the dynamic in my past relationship. but storytelling wise, i like how it seems like the narrator of this song is resigned to their fate of being the only heartbreaker, even after becoming somewhat aware of the unequal dynamic. that's delicious to me!

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins "Bottoms"

Are you ready for this movie review? Get ready because it starts rough and never stops getting rougher. This is a review I was dreading because it seems to have marketed itself as a cringe fag fest and the first 10 seconds of the movie didn't disappoint, I already hate it and I already have so many complaints. The movie opens on two women discussing "getting puss." You don't know these characters, you know nothing about them not their personalities, their interests their values, not even their names…but you do know about their sex lives. Not only have they prioritized their sex lives over every single other aspect of who they are, making this a degenerate starting point…but it's disorienting from a story standpoint. Why do I care about this character…what do I call this character…give me some setting, some backdrop…anything. Porn starts with more story and less focus on sex than this.

I can tell already this is going to be a constant violater of the classic "show don't tell" advice because the dialogue is atrocious. Lines like "Im in a little suit like the lesbian I am" make you reject the idea that these are even people talking…all I can see is script writers, cameramen, and a director, it does the opposite of making me forget I'm watching a movie…it makes me painfully aware of it and I don't buy it as a genuine human interaction. This is dialogue that can only be the work of a broken illiterate persons imagination or an algorithmic writing program. It's like someone asked chatgpt to write superbad but gay and without any humour or reason. Tell me this doesn't sound like a robot attempting humour... "I bet you could eat food, digest it, let it marinate and poop it out." I'm not making that up or being hyperbolic that is word for word actual dialogue from this awful fucking piece of shit horrorfest of a movie.

Although I will give them credit for one interaction where they acknowledge that some or even all of the bullying and hate they get doesn't come from being gay but from being "ugly and untalented" and show an example of a popular gay dude being widely accepted. But yeah a premise of the movie is that the people are hard to look at on purpose. Finally some acknowledgment that physical appearance plays a much greater role in bullying and acceptance than any minority or special interest status ever did.

One final point in this movies favour is presenting a completely accurate depiction of how cringe and gameless most lesbians are. The moment a woman tries to pickup other women they grow a fedora and a neckbeard and start spilling spaghetti out of their pockets. It's a reluctant point because it also makes the movie incredibly hard to watch for a whole new reason.

I have to talk about the black characters rant early on in the movie, I call her that because again I have no idea who anyone is or what to call them because who they are has taken a massive backseat to who they want to fuck. She goes on this explosive insane rant and there are so many things wrong with it I don't even know where to begin. It comes out of nowhere for one, it makes no sense, she talks about hanging up her vagina…but then her idea of hanging it up is having sex with someone else…I only know it's a guy because I was able to rewind 3 times and listen back to what she was saying. She introduces a character in the dumbest way imagineable. Imagine the first time you get introduced to a character is in a mumbly lightning fast rant about their sex life. If you slow it down and piece it together you learn she's introducing a religious character who is a friend of hers and a closeted homo. See I thought homosexuality was supposed to be two people of the same sex hooking up but she seems to think that because she can't get women and he's closetted it means they would of course be a good default couple.

The rant is also grossly blasphemous and not even just to Christians. I can't explain how bad this is you just have to hear it. "Because he's gay and fearless he's probably going to fuck me without protection, I'm gonna get pregnant, we'll have to join a church and he'll probably be the gay pastor." What the fuck is she talking about, why would a gay man be fucking her…how is she so certain he would fuck her without protection and why is she saying it like she would have no say in the matter? Why would her getting pregnant mean they would have to join a church…why would he then be the pastor of the church? You already established he was gay so why do you have to specify he'd be a gay pastor? None of this makes any sense, every sentence deviates further fom rationality than the last and every line brings with it new unanswered questions. Then it ends with her screaming "the deacons fucking the evangelist" over and over and crying. My headache has a headache. Gay people have to pray people do not watch this movie because "homophobia" will skyrocket if they do.

The movie also has some of the most unbelievable and wooden dialogue I've ever heard in my life. Nobody in the history of planet earth has ever spoken or behaved the way the people in this movie do. It's almost like to make up for the fact that it's a comedy with no jokes or humour at all they try to just exaggerate every interaction and then do it very big with overacting and overreacting. For example a football player is insisting he did nothing wrong by groping an older woman in front of his girlfriend….already a ridiculous caricature of straight men, then he tries to stop her from leaving in her friends car where they gently bump into him with the car and he explodes into hysterics like he's been gievously injured…and the entire football teams comes running to help and fawn over him like he's a gunshot victim. As I write this I figured out what this movie is and why every moment of it feels so cringe and wrong…every interaction is like a fake tumblr story, from the start it had "the whole bus clapped" vibes. Like when the principle summons the main characters to his office by getting on the intercom and announcing to the whole school "can the ugly untalented gays please come to my office." You know the saying it's funny because it's true…it goes the other way…this is not funny because it has no truth in it whatsoever. Every second of this movie is false, every line, every action, every shot…just rings of untruth and fabrication. This movie is the comedy equivalent of a real doll. It has all the same parts all the limbs are where they belong…but they are not real…there's a hollow soullessness to it, a feeling of plastic wrongness.

I said before it's like someone prompted chat gpt but it gets worse and more likely AI written the more you watch. It's like they said to combine superbad and fightclub but make it sound like it was written by tumblr and one of the criteria was that it had to be lesbians and it had to be pure unfiltered cancer.

By the way as of this point in the review I've only watched 9 minutes of this horrific piece of dogshit. This is going to be without a doubt the worst movie I've ever watched every sentence of it pisses me off. Every moment is a new thing to piss you off, this is a weapons grade bad movie…like it was made in a lab to cause frustration and braincunting. Just when you're relieved they stopped arguing over which one of them is faggot #1 and which one is faggot #2 the one asks the other if she "perioded herself." Then there is a completely unexplained "joke" where one of the students claims her vagina is owned by the government and as the viewer you're left with again so many questions…why was that supposed to be a joke? what does it mean? And please can I have at least a ten second break from incoherence and cringe?

Then in another "that happened" moment the football guy from earlier comes into class…in his full gear…because to whoever made this movie it's just a costume and football players are not people outside of playing football. He then smashes a glass and threatens her with it by mimicking dragging the glass across his throat…and the teachers response is "hey man you couldn't make that analogy with your fist?" And again so many things wrong all at once. Why is the teacher not punishing him for smashing school property and then threatening another student? Why does a teacher not understand the difference between an analogy and a gesture? Again these little details are part of why I'm starting to seriously believe my this shit is all being written by algorithms theory. It's like nobody even bothered to edit the script. It's full of lines that make no sense, jokes that have no setup or no punchline…just the cadence of a joke.

If I go in depth into everything wrong with this movie I'll literally…not figuratively have to examine every single line, because at least for the start of this movie there is not one line that is not absolutely mind numbingly retarded and frustrating. And every line has multiple things wrong with it. Listen to some of this shit…

"How come you can't buck up and learn to protect yourselves without running somebody over."

"You can beat the shit out of each other while you perform the vagina monologues,just stay in your lane until you're munching beaver at weslyan."

By the way those two lines are how the concept of them starting a fight club comes up, it's so abrupt, so out of nowhere and so retardly nonsensical…it doesn't follow at all. The entire premise of the movie hinges on a throwaway line that makes no sense. The only reason they bumped into a guy with their car was he was threatening them and preventing them from leaving because they were offering a ride to his ex girlfriend. They took this to mean we as gay people need to learn self defense…already a leap in logic because nobody was attacking them and certainly not because they were gay. Then they accept their principles notion that they shouldn't use anything to defend themselves with, a retarded idea that nobody even bothered to attempt to explain or defend…and they just accept that they can't or shouldn't use whatever means they have available to defend themselves and instead have to learn hand to hand combat…another stretch. And then decide that the best way to do this is to start a fight club with other gays where they all just beat each other up. And they do this because the principle suggested it for no reason while insulting them. And by the way I'm explaining this all way better and more clearly than the movie does, the movie is just a string of incoherent sentences that form some idea of a patchwork of a plot I'm just trying to make sense of the nonsense. This plot is not the work of an intelligence at all…nevermind a low intelligence.

I really can't finish this movie,this is normally the amount of rage and content I have after a full 2 hour movie but im only at 14 minutes here. It's not even that the writing is so atrocious, the timing, the delivery…the acting is just the worst I've ever seen. I've sat through some horrifically bad movies over the years for these reviews I've sat through countless movies and shows that I grade as F-and yet never once did I say ok I can't watch this anymore…I've always finished it. I've watched woke black sitcoms, Rian Johnson movies, femsploitation reboots and yet this is the first time I've ever had to say no I can't finish this it's too awful. This movie is without a single doubt in my mind the worse movie ever made. It has ruined my grading curve because I need a grade so much lower than an F- and it just doesn't exist. Is Z- minus a thing? If in theory that is 20 grades lower than a fail that's what I give this movie. May God have mercy on us all.

[sunnysidesutch]

October 17, 2023- 4:14 pm

To Whom It May Concern,

I am afraid I do not know what I am doing, and I am even more afraid of the fact that I have known this for so long. I wish you could see choices play out before you make them, and I wish you could take back the ones that did not go as planned. However, if this was the case, the world would never do wrong. There would be no room for growth or self awareness, but karma would lay dormant, hungry for slip-ups. Maybe, where I am at now, is not about figuring out what to do next. Maybe, where I am now, is about fighting for myself and doing what is best for MYSELF. I realize that, as of now, I let people's counsel lead my life, and I have spent more of this year allowing it than not. 23 was supposed to be my jordan year. 23 was supposed to be when I got it together, created a better life for myself.

I wish I didn't think so far ahead, and I wish the voice in my head did not convince me it was more logical than it actually is. I have spent so much time being afraid of what was to come- May 16th, September 16th, October 13th. Everything has turned out quite the opposite of my expectations, so I do not know why I am always expecting the worst. I celebrated the life of Tyler at the boys' house, something I had hoped to do, but was hardly expecting to come to fruition. It was nice, but I would be lying if I said I did not feel like an object at some point. I was just so happy to see everyone and be together again. Tyler really brought us all back together, and I definitely did not expect such a great night. However, I kept being told, "don't fall for it." That hurt. I would like to think I know better by now than to fall back into the trap of someone who I couldn't tell whose blood was whose on our hands.

I know better.

I know better.

But, do I? I thought I knew better, but I let the world tell me how I should feel, and I took it and ran with it, convincing myself it was what I wanted. It was never what I wanted. Curious? Maybe. But what I wanted? Not at all. I wanted my best friend, and I was hurting at the emotional loss of the love of my life, and I was listening instead of thinking for myself. I love them both, but slightly differently. In a perfect world, this all ends well. I would love to think that, anyways. However, this is real life, and I would be insane to think that any of this ends cordially. However, a girl can dream.

xoxo

[cookinguptales]

Some notes from the pod:

1) Some of Harvey's imagined backstory for Guillermo: they cut a line from the ep when they are looki g for the necromancer's hut that he used to take a few classes in stagecraft at that community College. He thinks he was taking classes there before he became a familiar and that he met Jeremy there.

2) About the character choice to eat the burger with a knife and fork: It's a thing for him to want to keep order and cleanliness. He is meticulous with his hands, doesn't want to be messy, and aware that he deals with dead bodies. The scene was extended originally to include the cashier's reaction to him asking for the utensils and being lol what why do you need those.

3) he said that even though nandor had insane requests, driven by vanity, Guillermo was able to make all the corrects calls for the wedding bc he knows what nandor really wants.

4) He went on another (unsolicited) nandermo ramble about loving someone because you know them, even their faults, and said "that's what makes us stay in love, is we see something in someone no one else sees" which just. Ugh so sweet. He just gets it.

Every one of you that listens to this podcast and lets me know what's in it, I love you. Interview/conversation-style podcasts are impossible for me to understand, so you guys are ~stars~.

To answer these in order...

1) I respect your headcanon, Harvey, but I am also confused because Guillermo said in The Orgy that he and Jeremy had been friends since high school! He said that they became friends because they were both bullied together!

That said, this all kind of goes into me side-eyeing Guillermo for side-eying Sean in 4.05. Like when he was raising his eyebrows at Sean not going to a four-year school??? Guillermo, you're one to fucking talk! Mr. I Dropped Out To Get Nandor To Notice Me! And not to knock on trade schools or community college, but taking some stagecraft classes in community college isn't exactly a four-year degree, either, Guillermo! I say as someone who took stagecraft classes myself!

2) This is honestly so funny to me. We see Guillermo cleaning almost obsessively, even when the others don't really seem to care if they live in a clean house, so this is not shocking to me. But it's so funny that he may clean up bodies for a living, but that doesn't mean he likes getting his hands dirty. That said, if I had to dispose bodies for a living, I probably would also be scrubbing tf out of my hands before eating.

3+4) Aw. ;; This feels so true to me. I love that Guillermo could design a wedding that had everything Nandor could ever want -- except the right spouse. I love that after all these years catering to Nandor's stupid whims, he knows which orders to fulfill and which to ignore. I love that he loves Nandor despite himself because he's one of the only people who can see the glimmer of sweet things beneath that stupid, vain exterior. I love that Guillermo sees what Nandor can be and believes that one day he'll be it. I love that the only thing Guillermo can't seem to figure out re: Nandor is the way that Nandor feels about him.

Ughhhh I hate it when people say Guillermo deserves better because they're both fucking gremlins who deserve to be incandescently happy dealing with each other's issues for eternity.

[hinderr]

Listen, I've read the last chapter and I want to say so much… First of all, it's insanely emotional. I really read with bated breath. I have so many emotions and thoughts about the ending right now, it's not what I expected, but it's insanely logical for this job. Gideon, as people in my country say, "what he fought for, he ran into."

It is interesting to watch how Grogu releases his attachment to him over the years - and at the same time how much he looks like him in places, it's creepy. This manipulativeness and the ability to make a naive, unhappy look in order to get your own - this is not from Din and not from birth. I'm really interested now to wait for the Nurture someday to understand how all this will reflect even more time later. And I still find it valuable that in past charter everyone - Din and the others - accepted Grogu's right to LOVE Gideon. Regardless of whether would he continued to feel it all his life or not, it was extremely important at that moment and, I think, it is important now. Because Grogu can now understand that even if he is not on the "right" road and feels "strange" feelings, he is still loved. Whether the situation changes or not is a matter of less importance. This is very important knowledge regardless of the present point.

By the way, Gideon's reaction to the meeting is interesting. He throws mockery at the fact that Grogu still cares, but he too does not behave like a person who does not care. It would seem - you never loved this child, five years have passed, what difference does it make that he is happy with another person? But no, Gideon behaves like… painfully attached, when it seems like he doesn't really need it himself, but you can't give it to another either. It’s hard to explain, but I really didn’t get the impression that he didn’t give a damn about all this long history.

Also, I don't think that's what you meant, but at some point I had a thought… what if Gideon purposely ran into a gunshot? It is clear that at first he was angry and really perplexed, but at some point … I thought so because it must be extremely difficult for a person of this kind to live in a prison cell. He has no power, no purpose, no Empire, for which he fought, in general, quite sincerely, regardless of methods. He is nobody and nothing. And he's smart enough to be fully aware of it. What if at some point he saw that Grogu was sufficiently angry with him and he had a weapon with him - and decided to take advantage of the situation. But that's just my thoughts.

I do not know what to say. This is probably one of the first works not in my native language that so captivated me and that I read in the process, looking forward to each chapter. Because the languages we speak are different, but the theme is international. The whole work is very … reliable, and sometimes the emotions from reading were such that I morally departed from the new chapter couple of days. This is something unique and beautiful, although it tells about terrible and sad events. I love each of the characters. Wren is not a canon character, usually I don’t perceive OC at all, but with you he is so alive and real that he looks … native. He doesn't stand out from others in a bad way. His character, personality, motives and feelings are all so believable, he's beautifully written.

Thank you. It was cool)

This is so so undeniably sweet and so so thoughtful and god I am so, so happy you enjoyed the finale (I'll be honest, your reactions was one of those I was anticipating the most!) And I'm glad you were willing to look past the language barrier to read my silly story! It means the world to me, and I can't possibly express just how much I've appreciated your support - every ask and reply and interaction makes me so so happy!!

There's a bit of Gideon in Grogu, but there's a bit of Grogu in Gideon as well. You're absolutely right that Gideon got just a tiny bit attached, in the most messed up way possible. He hated the fact that his Asset saw another person as his father, and that 'he was a better buir than (he'll) ever be', even though he hated it when Grogu called him father too. What you said about not needing something but not letting anyone else have it is exactly on point, and I'm so so happy you got that

And I'm so happy you liked Wren Farvo too! He was a plot device at first, but I've grown to genuinely love and adore him. He means the world to me and I'm so happy you liked meeting him (I probably won't be able to resist slipping him into some of my other works as a side character. Just to carry him along as we go)

Again thank you so so much! I'm happy you've enjoyed it, and I'm happy to have made you happy <33

[pizzapasta23045]

Sending another ask so the psot doens't get too long but YEAH I SPENT. A REALLY REALLY LONG TIME ON THAT MOUNTAIN. Actually back pre-sumeru when I had more time and energy (less school) I was extremely intense with my gameplay. I'm talking the Chasm 100%ed within give or take a week after it's release. Hours upon hours spent getting the map to full completion. It was actually INSANE.

ALSO. Also also. Opinions on the organization setup of Khaenri'ah/related groups bc like I KNOW that so far the only DRECTLY Khaenri'ah related groups are the Hexenzircle, Fatui and the Abyss Order but I have. A reallllly really strong feeling that there's a fourth group and that's the one Kaeya belongs to BUT. I am very curious as to what you think :3

100% chasm??? You are so fucking real for that, I could never!

Well, about the different organizations, i sure have some thoughts... There are probably innacurate to some oscure lore but hey, whatever...

So, the Alberich are definetely not connected to the fatui, but that should be a given at this point. The ideologies are just different, one wants to restore the homeland or some semblance of it, the other (Pierro) is described as a traitor to Khaenri'ah, does not seem to care for the restoration and his organazation mostly focuses on ending destiny and destroying celestia. Moreso the second than the first.

So the Alberich. I have a feeling that Skirk is an Alberich (you know Skirk, right? Childe's master in the abyss), because she is incredibly misterious, described as looming in the dark, ridicoulusly powerful and in the Abyss where it is speculated Khaenri'ah's survivors went. She's also speculated to be part of the Herzenicle but i don't think so becase she's only describe as a swordwoman and not as a witch.

Dain's also an alberich, imo. Since he's against both the abyss order and the fatui and he can't be part of the Herzickel.

My theory about the Alberich is deeply connected with my theory on the abyss sibling. Which is that the sibling went through the entire journey just as we did and challenged the Heavenly principals, who, since they were loosing, basically reset the entire timeline, choose the traveler as the new descender and pushed the sibling into the role of leader of the abyss to fill in the blanks.

This is because the only, as far as I'm aware, time we can hear about our sister's journey, like really and in detail, is through the Aranara who call them by a nickname and talk in riddles. Which would bypass Irminsul

There's one time from the fatui, i think, but I can't find it and it doesn't seem specific enough to be erased, plus pierro may know how to avoid Irminsul through codes and written "fake" languages.

Now, back to the Alberich. My theory is that the place the alberich had in the world is the equivalent of the fatui in our timeline. So all the fatui's plans are similar to the Alberich's, which would explain why Pierro seems to be able to tell the future. In this case Childe would be Skirk (since I think it'd be funny) and dottore would be rhinedottir (since, you know, insane scientist ect,ect)

Now, after the Alberich's plans failed (since they were using the sibling to defy the world) the intelligence network divided into two groups. Kaeya's father and company basically form the most insane case of maliscous compliance.

Like "technically" they follow the heavenly principals while slowly making sure that the heavens still are defeated. Pierro doesn't like that so he creates the fatui to continue the revolution.

Now the Herznickel I'm not sure about, haven't researched it much to be honest, but my gut tells me they are associated with Celestia. Not sure why, like I said, Haven't researched it, but i'd be glad to listen if you can disprove it or something.

And the Abyss order seems like the farthest away from Khaenri'ah, oddly enough, maybe because most of the people that are part of it are just... mindless monsters trasformed by the curse. Also, any faction (the fatuii, dain, Kaeya to an extent) all seem to hate them or want them gone? We know that Khaenri'ah used to use the field tillers to cleanse the abyss beasts so it may because of that but idk...

Honestly, this is the first time I've externalized any of this so it may not make sense at all. But I'd be glad to hear your theories in turn oh wise sage from the old times (1.3 lmao)(non making fun of you btw, we're both just as insane.

[callixton]

hi i love hearing abt people's fav chesses what's your favourite chess...

oh god this is from april....... i should use desktop tumblr desktop more often. but i am always happy to talk abt chess hehe and i would love to hear ur favorite chess as well

and i forget which exact post i mentioned this BUT the like. short answer is that the kennedy center production is the closest to My Chess tho i think there are still some issues with the ending and um. the success of the book is really dependent on the actors/direction (also if anyone sees my blog now it is like. obvious why that is my fave given that raúl is in it BUT ACTUALLY i got into raúl in the first place Because of kencen chess i got affirmation of queer freddie from a professional production and never went back)

the real answer is my fave chess is the one in my head that i hallucinated after blasting to the concept album for the first time while driving through heavy fog. umm personally i'm a political manipulation boy and have a history buff dad who introduced me to the show so the cold war context is always going to strike me the most. and while i find the love triangle deeply fascinating i have next to no interest in the story as a Romance. i think that they all simultaneously bring out the best and the worst in each other which is an Insane dynamic to have & they make me spiral. i know there are 'issues' with the original london book or whatever but i actually really like the simplicity and like. range of it.

what else to say..... chess in my head is actually quite edgy. but in a deliberate way not a grungy way. which is also probably why i like kencen but don't really think the aesthetic matches. and maybe it's the concept album loyalty/really only listening to those songs for like. a year but chess can have a dry ironic sort of humor (like the merchandisers or the embassy lament) and i think as a director you should provide some lightness and space for the audience to breathe but it's not really meant to be Comedy. it's why the yogurt scene and others like it have always felt super out of place to me i think the show has had enough issues with critics/its book and isn't helped by any sort of self-aware mockery it's only weakened by it.

also they should all get to swear some.

and freddie should get pushed around by florence (essential).

[tojikai]

(My very detailed rant on the latest chapter of PM. I apologize again for the length, I wrote an entire essay)

So it wasnt just a kiss, a simple peck on the lips that Satoru would be shocked about and regret later it was a full on makeout session, and he still had the audacity to reassure Y/n he never cheated. Disgusting.

I really love the way you described the car scene with Satoru and Rie, it made me feel like I was supposed to understand Rie, to pick her side after listening to how she felt at the beginning. But all it did was make me hate her and Satoru more. For one, Rie is desperate, she didn't describe what she found enticing about Satoru, she just described the look in his eyes and how it made her feel. She wants attention and affection from anyone that will give it to her. I dont think she feels guilty because she took Satoru away from Y/n. But, infact its the opposite. I think she feels guilty because she feels no remorse for the damage she has caused.

And Satoru, I hate him even more. The way he so easily got lost in Rie's "charm" angered me to no end. FIVE YEARS in a relationship with Y/n and when a simple high school crush shows up, he's head over heels for her and forgetting about Y/n.

In situations like these, where Satoru childishly succumbed to his feelings. I feel like its better to listen to your brain instead of your heart. Asking questions like…

"Do I see a future with this person" "Am I going to regret what im doing" "Is it really worth it"

Because in the end, he did regret it. Filled with nothing but guilt, and his relationship with his bestfriends are hanging by a thread.

Rie being so immensely hurt by the truth of the situation coming out of Shoko and Suguru's mouths is insane to me. I understand sometimes that some people don't understand the issue of a situation until it's told to their face. But, she literally asks why they care so much about Y/n and not her. Acting as though shes not the bad guy

She tries so hard to be the good girl in this situation, and the hero for Satoru, but all shes really doing is making everything worse. In all honesty, Rie is like a side character that doesn't really matter in the story but was placed there for us to hate.

I usually try to see everyones pov in a story before I downright hate them, but reading Rie's side of the story, and her overflowing jealousy over Y/n, she has no good side to her. There is nothing for me to sympathize about with her.

ESPECIALLY, with the way she continuously reminds us about her growing insecurity of Satoru leaving her for Y/n. I just can't feel bad for her. Because in the end she put herself in this situation. She chose to kiss someone who has a girlfriend. She chose to date that same cheater.

I'm not saying anyone should have to go through this, but again, that brings me back to my "think with your brain instead of your heart"

The argument Rie and Satoru had in their car -albeit horrible for me to do- had me smiling. They are already tearing apart and I loved watching it.

When Satoru brought up why he was mad to Rie, and her excuse was "i didn't even know about it" was so annoying. No one asked if you knew that Y/n was aware of the kiss. This is about why you told a person feeling pain over something you caused, would want to hear about their past relationship that they were trying to heal from, as soon as waking up from a traumatic experience. STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM

OMG JAW DROPPED THE AUDACITY OF THIS GIRL (im writing all of this as im reading) SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT Y/N WAS PURPOSELY HARMING HERSELF TO GET SATORU'S ATTENTION Are you insane. After observing everything that Shoko and Suguru have done for Y/n up until this point you described her as being kind, and then you say this. STOP TRYING TO BLAME Y/N Y/N ISNT THE ISSUE HERE SHE HAS DONE NOTHING TO YOU GUYS STOP MAKING IT SEEM LIKE IT

I understand you're hurt and insecure, but bringing someone who has done nothing wrong into an argument between you and Satoru is so horrible. You have every right to feel the way you do, but putting the blame on Y/n instead of questioning Satoru is irrational

If Y/n does get with someone at the end of this. I hope its after a few years or months. I just need a time skip. She needs time to heal. To find the person she was before the heartbreak, to find the Y/n before Satoru. She just needs to learn to live without Satoru, and I wish the best for her.

She definitely needs that vacation

oooh wow, i see your point. but Rie isn't really just there for you guys to hate, she and satoru embodies what i always say, "strong feelings or emotions can be blinding," her actions and words are driven by it, which connects to what you said, "think with the brain and not the heart," i love that. our heart or feelings is something out of our control, so we shouldn't trust it so much. following it can lead to a lot of things that we might regret later on. and you're right !! yn definitely needs a vacation after all of that :')) this is a great take !!

[sitron-sunni]

a get to know you better meme

tagged by @dummerjan, tysm!<33

do you make your bed? no.

what's your favourite number? Four! No reason behind it, I've just always really liked four.

what is your job? don't have one

If you could go back to school, would you? I'm in school! I actually had to drop out for several long years due to chronic illness. I had to move to find a school willing to provide accommodations, but I got started again with online classes almost three years ago. Now, I'm finally (finally!!), wrapping up my last subject for upper secondary school, which qualifies me for higher education. I literally sent in my application for art school last night<3 Everything is terrifying but also exciting but also terrifying but also there's no other way but forward, so.

can you parallel park? nope, I can't drive.

a job you had that would surprise people? Have not had any jobs.

do you think aliens are real? Well yes. the universe is infinitely big, I do believe some form of life exists out there, whether single-cell organisms or a more intelligent species. Do I think they came over here and built the pyramids? no. no i do not.

can you drive a manual car? still can't drive...

what's your guilty pleasure? i don't know, do i have one? I like lots of things people might find cringe, like, 80's love ballads or early one direction songs, but I wouldn't say there's anything I think of as a guilty pleasure.

tattoos? can look really cool on other people, though they're not necessarily something I'm inherently attracted to. also, they are not meant for me. I'm too indescisive, too afraid of making a mistake, and too aware of how changeable I am. I hope I keep growing and changing for the rest of my life, and I don't wanna put marks on my body that define me as someone I've moved away from, if that makes sense.

that being said, there are some tattoo artists i follow on instagram whose work i really like. People who do the loveliest watercolour work, people with insane colors, people with gorgeous, folk art-style. If I had to get a tatto, I would go to one of them, and let them dream up something wonderful.

favourite colour? yellow! yellow-y orange! sunlight!<3

favourite type of music? I think spotify usually tells me it's some type of folk indie pop rock-thing, but it's easier to answer the reverse: I don't really listen to opera, screamo/heavy metal or dubstep/edm. Aside from that? I love gathering artists and songs of all different styles from all over the world in all different languages. I'm eclectic at heart.

do you like puzzles? yes, although it's a struggle to do physical puzzles as I can't seem to find a spot with good lighting. But I've done lots of digital puzzles and they're fun.

any phobias? my fear of insects has gotten progressivley worse. specifically the crawling ones. especially if they have lots of legs, and are fast. ughhhh. does it classify as a phobia? idk.

favourite childhood sport? the words 'childhood' and 'sport' in combination are rarely associated with enjoyment for me. idk. we played a game similar to baseball sometimes, that would probably have to be the one but... I've never really been a sports-person...

do you talk to yourself? Hm. rarely out loud, but often in my head.

what movie(s) do you adore? the first lotr movie = ultimate comfort movie. Mamma mia, pretty woman, notting hill, wild child = fond childhood memories w/ my mom. Billy Elliot and the way back are two movies I've watched several times and really really enjoyed, like they just stand out in my mind. Divines, which I stumbled across on netflix, is possibly my fave. If I were to rec someone one movie, it would be that one. I just think it's good. I vibe with it.

coffee or tea? coffee, I cannot stand tea.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? A hairdresser, maybe? and I wanted to be a designer for several years after I read the book threads by sophia bennett, lol. Grew out of that one around 13/14 i think.

tagging whoever sees this and wants to do it!<3

[majoranna]

Celebrations, séance, madness, mysticism with sound and movement

- notes on death, grief, art and life

march hit hard with the quiet celebration of women, engulfed in the first year of commemoration of my mother's death. How is mid march finding you?

I'm talking about death. It's weird to talk about it because we know nothing. It's like, the most real fantasy. But I've met him. ☄

He is the strongest force I´ve met so far, a very intense guy, and you´ll very unlikely to ever be the same, after meeting him. Before Death was Illness, and she was suffocating, very very scary, and the longer time you share with her, the smaller scale of perception you seem to have. They often come hand in hand, and they turn you upside down and inside out and at the end you are left with utter chaos.

Is it chaos though, or does it only seem so for a second, until we realize is it instead a peek over the edge from where one sees the Order of things the first time in their lives? 

Things never make sense at the beginning. Reading the first pages, you wonder what's all this and where will it take you? The first movements, finding the ground under your feet, recognizing your spine is rusty and your shoulders are sleeping. Wondering, how this is going to be a dance? Mixing colors, drawing lines, disliking what we see, feeling lost, and wondering, to what end is all this making happening at all? That is when you decide to just wait, and see. To continue until you find out. I see that as a moment of saying yes to my own life. 

On the 9th of March, 2023, leaving my office, heading to see my boss, I collapsed onto the bottom of the big orange lino staircase in the Opera House, as my sister rang me on the phone. She said "Szia" , and her voice landed in my body as warm light and expanding space. I knew what she'd say, and I am not even sure she actually said anything else. We cried together gently, listening to each other sob, and then she said "I'll go back to Mum ''and we hung up. My tears were pouring like rain as they do now, as I write, reliving the moments that are still very much alive and present with me.

Do you remember where you were on that Day? 

I went up to the office and the first person I shared my grief with was my boss. I don't think she knows but she's done something real that day. She showed so much compassion, and strength, through her hug and humanity, I will always be grateful. She told me to go home, and I did, because she said so, not because my mind or my body had any idea what one is supposed to do, when they become aware of their mothers death. It felt a little like the movie scene, im thinking specifically of the one in Rogue One, with the meteor landing and fire pouring over the horizon, as you hold on to someone you love, and everything burns. Except I seemed to have been very much left alive. So I did what the alive people do when people die.

I went home to the Hungarian countryside, and took care of paperwork and payment and inheritance. Bureaucracy. Madness. Insanity. At the end of the month I buried my mother, not the way I wish it would have been, but the way it was. In my mind she isn't buried yet, although at least I do not await her homecoming in my dreams anymore.

After her actual funeral I got really gross drunk on pálinka (a strong hungarian schnaps) and sweated a puddle in my dream afterwards. No joke it looked like I pissed the bed but from my entire body. 

It starts with the ashes, but the aftermath was not a burnt out world and no life. Instead It was matter, plentiful and in tiny pieces. All the matter I've ever interacted with, parted in no way from my being,  was spread in every direction until the eye can see and the mind can comprehend, way beyond the outer bodies reach. It is expanding space, lights playing, sounds twirling and you, you are all of this. there is no you and.. there is just incomprehensive sensations, which you are.

I took some time off here and there but basically I just kept working as much as I could. It felt like being frozen. I freeze up now, as I allow myself to remember, to tap into those feelings again, from a distance far enough in time, that they are so small I can hold them again. The dream journey of this period of grief was indescribably beautiful, a reliving of a relationship through the most alive fragments of my mother in me, one by one becoming the lasts, the last time we hugged, and the last words we spoke, and the last time I heard her voice. My semi-conscious sleeping mind, was such a beautiful place to be, as I could not possibly have imagined, because I could still be with her. Revisiting the memories of the dreams is still so painful I do not wish to let myself too close, as I am afraid, they take me further out to the edge of the galaxy, from where is no way back.

After 8 months or so, I finally realized, I need to stop, and exit the frames I used to operate within. I have changed so much inside, I could not have the outside be a constant reminder of my previous self. She, whom I was clinging to, whom I missed dearly, and I would have given anything to be her again. The Anna I was, before she met Death. We weren´t always best friends with her either of course, when I was her, but all I could see, and feel was the weight of life now being so real. Her lightness, silly irresponsability, ability to laugh and play and make love, felt like concepts I wasn´t sure I could ever relate to wholeheartedly again.

But the only thing that was crystal clear from moment one, was that I was never going to do anything, only what I can do wholeheartedly.

So I quit my job, I made space.

https://www.behance.net/gallery/170665713/Abstract-Mixed-media-Landscape

https://www.shutterstock.com/shutterstock/videos/1016277991/preview/stock-footage-big-bang-the-origin-of-the-black-hole-bright-futuristic-composition.webm

☄ I apologize here, I do not intend to say men are somehow in any way more identifiable with death than women are, I wish to make the point that I think death is far enough from being human, as to not be given a gender. But I try to write authentically, and this sentence came to me this way. Same with Illness being she. Maybe I feel that way cause it was cancer eating my mum. dunno.

[hwiyoungies]

Yes que si hablo español JAJAJAJA I just thought it would be weird to straight up start talking in spanish but I really needed to reference that meme (and here’s the moment where I’m unsure which language I should keep using WJDIEBD) y no me molestaría que me compartieras el video<3 bc I don’t mind shipping!! I’m not hardcore either but I love the dynamics too so it’s hard not to agree with a bunch of ships lol

NO ACTUALLY FAIR tbh I did skip some flashbacks back in the first season (see: Syrup Village) and if it’s dragging too much bc of that I do skip the flashbacks

Fr no one can convince me these guys don’t curse, I love they decided to show that side of them AND how it is unique for both of their personalities (see: Zoro saying ass and Sanji saying arse) but yes a documentary about the process would be *chef’s kiss*

NADIE SE MUERE JAJAJA I just finished the Alabasta arc (thank gOD) and I lowkey cried for Pell juST FOR HIM TO COME BACK??? I’m glad but wth they’re going to make me desensitized/skeptical with future ‘deaths’ atp bc most of them seem to come back anyways

Zoro literally just said “Sorry, but…I’ve never once prayed to God” and I was like “holy sh*t that’s hot” just for him to freaking scream like Tarzan while swinging on a vine minutes later LMAO and two things: 1) is this a good lose my mind or a bad lose my mind?? and may I know if it’s during the 100s?💀😭 2) I’ve seen people saying pre time skip a lot!! Is that like a canon event that just happens and we don’t see that ‘time skip’ (kinda like the blip for the avengers) or is it like a time travel thing or something?? If the answer is too much of a spoiler I’m fine without knowing it, just sounds confusing LOL

I have my fair share of songs that I didn’t think I listened to them that much so I get it 😂😂 my #81 song is Not Fine by Day6!!! which feels kinda fitting to me rn ngl JAJAJAJA

AJAJAJ the constant struggle of wait what language do i speak in now. i tend to always go with english because i'm aware of how Chilean i am and sometimes people don't understand what i'm saying, so whatever makes you feel more comfy <3 this is the video it's SO stupid but it made me cackle and i couldn't sent it to my friend that's watching it because she hasn't reached alabasta or ace yet

the one thing i will complain about one piece (well, one of the things LMAO) is the flashbacks like yeah i do love how fleshed out all the characters are but man keep it short and sweet

i LOVE that sanji is the only one with a different accent in english from the straw hats, like it makes so much sense for his background this is all i can say without spoiling anything (y weno en español también acento canario de taz mi amado)

NO BUT SAME i was fucking sobbing over pell and then they were like teehee actually he's not dead 😋 there is a reason for that tho i think it had to do with 9/11 no i'm not joking LMAO

SKYPIEA ZORO MY FUCKING BELOVEEEEEEED everytime he says that when someone is like "omg you're gonna make god mad!" i went a little insane because yEAH MAN TELL THEM, and him doing the tarzan scream he's just a little guy he's feeling goofy and silly and we love him for it. also!! are you watching it in japanese or dubbed? because luffy sings an iconic song during this arc that everyone loves LMAO. it's a uuuh it's a mix LMAO and it's in the 300's i think. the only thing i will say about the time skip is that it's a canon event and nothing more because it's more entertaining that way teehee

ooof man now that's a song LMAO it could've been zombie which i would ask all good dear is everything ok (obviously the answer would be no)