#i am begging you kana

[daydreamteardrop]

Oh Kana, please stop assuming what's best for everyone and do whats best for you for once ❤️

[xcalciumx]

Family | Mitsuri Kanroji x Reader x Obanai Iguro

Word Count | 5.5k

Warnings | we good.

Summary | Weeks after your near-death experience, you are slowly recovering when you run into Iguro and Mitsuri. Will you finally realise your true feelings? Or in which you stop being a goofy ass.

a/n | ya'll thought I wouldn't do it. but here i am. i posted it. I'M SO SORRY.

part one | part two

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“Come on, princesses. My grandma can run faster than that – and she’s dead!”

Shinobu shot you an amused glance from across the room as you sat in your wheelchair, watching as the three boys ran their seventy-fifth lap. You grinned, averting your gaze as the blondie ran past, wide circle eyes staring at you desperately.

“Pleaseee, I can’t take – “

“Agatsuma!” Shinobu barked, “Thirty more laps and you’re done for today. Now shut up and get running!” 

You giggled behind your hand. Ever since the incident, you had become prone to spending your days either sitting aimlessly in your room or watching the younger members of the corps train. Clearly, with both of your legs in casts and your torso swallowed in bandages, there weren't a whole lot of options. Because of this, you had been begging Shinobu to give you a couple of wood crutches; that way you could at least get around the mansion a bit easier. Alas, she had refused your request every time. 

The woman in question made her way across the training space towards you, lips quirked up mischievously. As she came to a stop beside you, one of her hands came down to clasp your shoulder .

“Honestly, do you have anything better to do than distract these three?” she said, watching the boys. You cast her a long look, eyes narrowing. 

“Don’t know if you noticed, Kocho…but I'm kind of crippled here. Not much else I can do.” 

The insect hashira laughed at that, waving you off.

“How many times have I told you that your legs will be healed and fine in no time, hm? Trust me, you’ll be off fighting upper moons again before you know it.” 

You grumbled at that, reclining further back in the wooden wheelchair. 

“No thanks.”

At your words, Shinobu quirked a brow, turning to face you fully. “No? You’re not thinking of retiring are you?” The both of you sat in silence for a moment, her brows furrowing further as you refused to answer. “Hey…I mean I know you nearly died and all that, but it’s just a little hiccup in the road – like I said, you’ll be fine in a couple of weeks; it’ll be like nothing ever happened.” 

You let her assurance hang for a moment, a sigh leaving your lips as you thought about your reply. 

“I’m tired, Shinobu. This life, this…” you struggled to voice your feelings. “Women our age are married. They have families. We’re out here cutting the heads off of demons and watching as ambitious teenagers are sent off to be killed on missions. And - and to what end, really?” 

She pondered your words, a frown now tugging her lips downwards. When she finally spoke, she had averted her gaze to the jogging boys.

“Since the accident…sometimes you don’t sound like yourself.” she shot you a quick look, trying to gauge your reaction. “You know why we fight. You know why we lay down our lives. We save people. We work endlessly towards stopping Muzan. That’s the end goal and you know it.” Her words trailed off. On the other side of the matts, the trio began slowing down.  “You know what Kanae told me, when she was still alive? She said that just because we’re demon slayers - just because we’re cursed with this miserable life, it doesn’t mean we can’t love. It doesn’t mean we can’t have a family.” A large crease appeared in her forehead. She turned her stare back to you, determination prominent in her eyes. “So, you need to stop acting sorry for yourself. People die, people get hurt. Tough luck, suck it up. I don’t know what happened that day or what went down between the three of you, but sitting here, acting like you’re gonna quit the corps? It’s dumb. You can be happy. You can be that woman who’s married and has a family - but you’re just choosing not to, you’re scared.” 

A heavy feeling gurgled in your gut. You didn’t want to admit it, but Shinobu was right. You were scared, and you were acting pathetic because of it. The thought was confronting.

All the words that you had exchanged with Iguro and Mitsuri rushed back to you. The fear of death - the pain of never having lived a fulfilling, happy life…it had overwhelmed you. And as a result, you had pushed away some of the only people who truly cared for you. The people you loved. 

It made you want to crawl into a dark cave and never come out. 

Maybe that had been your last chance. Your only chance. Iguro and Mitsuri probably thought you were a big tantrum-throwing baby who couldn’t handle her emotions. They probably thought you hated them. And if there was one thing you knew for sure in this  terrible world - it was that you definitely did not hate them. Not a single piece of your broken, banged up body hated them. Lord, even when Iguro had made you turn red from anger - you didn’t hate him. And Mitsuri, who could ever hate her? She was the sweetest, love stricken person you had ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes on. Now though…now they probably hate you, if anything.

The thought had you clenching your fists tightly on the arms of your chair. 

Shinobu looked at you with a knowing smile, opening her mouth to speak. Before she could, three panting boys stumbled up to the pair of you, tongues lolling out of mouths and sweat sticking their hair to their heads like a second skin. 

Quickly, you righted the frown on your face.

“Done for today?” you asked. It was Tanjiro who answered, a beaming grin on his face despite the harrowing breaths leaving his lips. 

“Yup, all done! Thank you for today's training, Kocho-Sama!” he directed his next words at you. “Would you like to go back to your room? I can take you!”

You contemplated for a second, eyes glancing between the three demon slayers in front of you. 

“Actually, I was going to go out to the garden for a while. Get some fresh air. Thank you though, Tanjiro.” The maroon-haired boy smiled in response. On his left, Inosuke was rocking impatiently on his feet, whilst Zenitsu practically fell asleep standing up. Next to you, Shinobu shook her head at the younger boys with raised brows. 

“Same time tomorrow, don’t be late.” Her command was met with instant agreement. Zenitsu even stopped blowing snot bubbles for a second to answer. Your laughter was cut short when she turned her gaze to you. “And you, we’re gonna have a real long chat tomorrow, so I better see your ass here as well.” she regarded you with a stern look. “Maybe I can even get you to start exercising your legs a little so you’re not so useless…”

Your offended look did not go unnoticed as she sauntered out of the room, waggling her fingers goodbye. You couldn’t help but mutter to yourself angrily.

“I’m still a Hashira too, y’know.”

~

A couple minutes later you found yourself being pushed down a long hallway. Despite your insistence to Tanjiro that you could make your way to the garden by yourself, he wouldn’t let up. So now, to your absolute chagrin, you were being accompanied by a boar who was jumping off the walls, a babbling baby who was trying to fall asleep in your lap and a kind, but obsessive boy who was pushing your wheelchair like his life depended on it. 

For the eighth time, you pushed Zenitsu’s wobbling form away from you. 

“You’re not sleeping on me, Agatsuma. Don’t even try.” He whined but backed off a little, stomping grumpily down the hall next to you. Behind you, Tanjiro was humming something to himself cheerily. A little ways ahead, Inosuke was trying to fight with a random Kakushi. 

You had little doubt that the look on your face was pure exhaustion. 

The Kakushi currently getting harassed began sprinting down the hall past the rest of you, Inosuke hot on his tail. You rolled your eyes, opening your mouth to say something but deciding against it. As they passed, at the last minute you decided to stick your arm out. The Kakushi bypassed it unscathed, but Inosuke, with no awareness of his surroundings, ran right into your protruding limb, the force of the impact sending him sprawling backwards. In an instant, the Kakushi disappeared around the corner. The edges of your lips tilted up. Before you could blink, Inosuke was back up on his feet; boar eyes seemingly piercing into your soul and nostrils flaring with misty breath. You rubbed at the fading pain in your arm and stared back at him blankly. The entrance to the garden was only ten or so metres away, but Tanjiro tastefully chose this time to stop pushing you.

“Why’d you do that?” The feral boy growled out behind his mask, slinking closer. It was almost as if he was…trying to intimidate you? Tanjiro’s voice came over the top of your head.

“Um, Inosuke…she was just trying to help.” 

He ignored that, coming right up to your prone form and leaning down into your personal bubble. The ends of his mask tickled your face. You coughed in response, trying to hide the fact you were about to burst out laughing. 

“Inosuke!” Tanjiro admonished like a mother.

Before you could make a snarky remark at the animal-esque boy, two scrawny arms were pulling Inosuke away from you. You watched in confusion as Zenitsu restrained the trembling boar for a moment, his chin wiggling in fear. 

“Stop!” Zenitsu cried out. “She did nothing wrong, you crazy buffoon!” Inosuke roared, shoving an elbow into his friend's face and breaking free from his grip. Red instantly began to stream from the lightning user’s nose like a broken faucet. 

“Eh!? The hell you think you’re doing, Monitsu?!” 

You nearly smiled at the defiant look in Zenitsu’s eyes as Inosuke set his sights on him. Key word being nearly. What he said next diminished any admiration you held for him. 

“You can’t hit a girl, you psycho! Especially not one of my future wives!” your gaze narrowed instantly. “You’ll marr her lovely skin!”

“You’re a literal child,” you grumbled to yourself, going unheard by the rest of the boys. As you watched them bicker, all you could do was groan, leaning your head back to look at Tanjiro. He seemed to read something on your face as he stepped out from behind you to interfere. As he did so, you slapped a hand to your head in exasperation. You had wanted him to get you out of there, not make you stay around to watch these two bicker and fight. 

As Tanjiro began trying to deescalate the situation, the hallway somehow became louder with more shouting and arguing. Now, the hall was consumed by yelling teenage boys threatening to beat eachother up. And here you thought you were having a good day. 

You peered at the three, wondering if you should stop them as they began to tussle. 

It only took you a second to decide. Nah, not your problem. 

Reaching for your wheels, you began trying to navigate around the boys to get to the door. The wood of your wheelchair groaned as it slowly made its way across the floor towards the threshold. You passed the fighting group without a glance, readjusting your uniform nonchalantly. Your feet were practically in the sun as you reached the outside door. A gentle draft was coming in from the patio and you let yourself smile a little, rearing to get across the door frame. 

Right before you could pop a wheelie and haul yourself across the little cylinder trimming blocking the entrance, a low voice echoed down the hall behind you.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Your spine instantly tensed, and you paused mid-action to whip your head around. Your heart freaked for a moment, thinking the voice was directed at you. Though when you assessed the sight behind you, you realised that - that wasn’t the case. 

At the end of the hallway, where the four of you had come from, stood Iguro. His steely eyes were trained on Tanjiro, Inosuke and Zenitsu. At the Serpent Hashira’s question, the hall became deathly silent in a second. 

You kept very quiet; he hadn’t noticed you there yet. Your eyes darted between the garden and the three boys who looked like they had been caught stealing. Breath caught in your throat, you were about to make a sneaky exit when Iguro began talking again.

“Seriously. How old are you? What’re your names? I’ll report you for insolence in a Hashira’s residence.” He scoffed, eyes roving the boys in boredom. You pursed your lips, looking once more at the boys who had grown extremely still. Reflexively, your gaze wandered back to Iguro. 

When no one responded, the raven-haired male began stalking forward, his checkered haori swaying around him.

“Hm, so? Don’t wanna talk?” he cracked his knuckles creepily, Kabumararu coiling over his shoulders. “That’s fine. I'll make you talk.” 

You had to forcibly stop yourself from rolling your eyes at his stupid threat. However, when you looked back to the boys, you realised they didn’t share quite the same amusement as you.

Zenitsu was sporting the typical deer-caught-in-headlights look, with big, wet tears starting to form. Instead of hitting Inosuke, he was now clutching onto him tightly, using him as a meatshield from the imposing Hashira. Inosuke himself had completely tensed up and you couldn’t quite tell if he was getting ready to try to fight Iguro or run away from him. Besides them, Tanjiro was looking awfully guilty. He, at least, seemed sort of alright with the confrontation. 

You were now faced with a choice: slip out the door and leave these three to their possible demise or step in and tell Iguro to relax…One of the options was certainly looking better than the other. 

Even so, you weren’t completely cruel and you were kind of the reason that this had happened in the first place.

You sighed, slowly pushing yourself backwards into the hall. The rolling of your wheelchair instantly caught everyone's attention and you cleared your throat awkwardly. As you came to a slow stop, you raised your gaze to meet Iguro’s. Before you could say anything, Zenitsu called out to you in what he must have thought was a quiet voice, his form trembling now. 

“Hey, hey! Help us, please. Please!” 

Now it was him everyone was looking at. His throat bobbed as he gulped deeply, shrinking under the scrutinising glare of the older man in the room. He shot one last desperate look in your direction. 

You couldn’t help but sigh once again, cracking your neck and squaring your shoulders. 

“Alright, Obanai. I think you’ve scared them enough.” 

The boys sagged in relief. Iguro averted his stare back to you and you witnessed how his eyes seemed to soften as they took you in. Though it was totally a trick of the light, you told yourself. Surely you didn’t look very pretty, all dinged up and useless in a wheelchair. Despite this, Iguro changed his course of trajectory, walking towards you. The boys watched on fearfully, thinking you had pissed him off. You didn’t blame them, because you also thought you had pissed him off.

It wouldn’t be the first time. 

As he came closer, you noticed the slight limp in his step and the numerous cuts torn across his face. There were some rips in his haori and a stain on his bandages that resembled blood. You raised an eyebrow. Before you could remark on it, he had stopped a few feet in front of you, eyes devoid of any emotion.

“You look better.”

There was an awkward silence. You glanced behind Iguro to where the trio seemed to contemplate their escape. Something that felt awfully similar to sweat pooled in your palms. You should say thanks, right? Right. What came out though was definitely not a thanks. 

“You look like shit.” Instantly, you clapped a hand over your mouth, eyes widening. That was not what you meant to say. What the hell was wrong with you? Quickly, you held up your hands placatingly, “No, no - I didn’t mean. I mean - you look fine. You must have just got back from a mission? Yeah, you did…it’s uh. It’s fine. Wait, I mean - “ you tripped over your words, only to stop when a low chuckle reached your ears. You went completely silent when you looked up to see Iguro regarding you fondly, a warmness starting to blossom in your cheeks.

“Mitsuri and I just got done with a mission. We, “ he glanced back at the eavesdropping boys, “We were going after it. The upper moon.” 

Your eyes widened slightly at his words, a heavy silence now basking the hall.

“Oh.”

Iguro laughed again, shoulders shrugging.

“It was a trap though. We barely made it out…” his words trailed off. Your heart hammered so hard, you thought it might re-break your ribs.

“But - but you’re okay, right? I mean, where’s Mitsuri? She’s alright?” It was hard to hide the nervousness in your voice. Iguro seemed surprised but he quickly hid it, nodding his head. 

“She’s fine. A little battered up as well, but fine. She should - ”

As if she was summoned, Mitsuri pranced around the corner, her pink locks flying behind her. She came to a stop as she regarded the crowded hall curiously.

“Oh! Hi everybody?” If the boys weren’t relaxed before, they certainly were now. With two other Hashiras around, they were decidedly protected from Iguro’s wrath. It was Tanjiro who greeted her back, waving a hand. She smiled sweetly, eyes wandering towards Iguro and ultimately landing on you. Her smile flickered for a second, shoulders seeming to curl the slightest bit. 

“Oh,” she whispered this time. “Hi.” Unsure of what her body language meant, you smiled hesitantly back at her.

“Hey, Suri’...”

At the nickname, something in her eyes flared and suddenly she was skipping down the hall towards you and Iguro. As she passed by the boys, one of her hands reached out to pat Zenitsu on the head. Lovehearts literally shone in his eyes.

“Honey!” she cooed as she reached you. It was as if nothing had happened between you two as she grabbed your face with one hand, angling it up and down. She hummed under her breath. “Well, you’ve certainly healed well!” she stared at you with a soft, simpering smile - almost as if begging you not to push her away again. You didn’t. Rather, you laughed quietly, cupping the hand that was now resting on your cheek. 

“Yeah…we all know Shinobu’s medicine works wonders. Don’t tell her I said that, though.” Mitsuri grinned at that, taking a step back. As she did, your eyes were drawn to the bandages peeking out from beneath her uniform. “Are you alright?” you asked her without missing a beat. She followed your gaze, then looked at Iguro sceptically. He nodded back at her.

“I’m okay, it’s just a cut. Um…” she looked at Iguro a second time, displeasure now causing her nose to scrunch. When she looked back at you, it became glaringly obvious that she was nervous. 

“What, Suri’?” you asked. Her cheeks grew a little bit pink.

“It’s just that…I’m sorry. We went on that mission to take down the upper moon and failed. I - I know it meant a lot to you.” The smile on your face quickly vanished, but not for the reason Mitsuri seemed to think. As she raised her hands to apologise again, you interrupted.

“You’re sorry? Mitsuri no, you don’t need to apologise to me. I know how I reacted a couple weeks ago but I don’t - y’know, I don’t actually care. I mean, you don’t owe me anything…” 

Her head tilted to the side, a pout coming onto her face. Iguro spoke up.

“You don’t…care? We’ve been away for weeks hunting that demon for you because we thought…we - “ Iguro paused, looking over at the trio of boys still listening to your conversation. “Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private.” Mitsuri nodded her agreement. 

“No.” You all paused, staring at Zenitsu as he announced himself in a meek voice. Iguro in particular, stared hauntingly at him. This was enough for the blonde to cower back, looking to his friends for help. Indeed, Tanjiro came to his aid.

“No, he’s right. We were taking her to the garden before you interrupted. You can’t just take her away when she doesn’t wanna go!”

You blinked at Tanjiro repeatedly, trying to process his words. When you did, you nearly cried in exasperation. These kids were crazy. You went to explain, but was stopped by Iguro as he took a step towards the boys. 

“Are you trying to say we can’t talk to our girl in private?” he asked darkly. Tanjiro paled but didn’t back down. Zenitsu, on the other hand, completely hid himself behind Inosuke. (Though you were pretty sure that Inosuke had fallen asleep at some point in all of this). 

Mitsuri and you exchanged a look.

“Stop it, Iguro.” you groaned. “And Zenitsu, Tanjiro - for god's sake, I am going on my own free will. No one is making me do anything. Just go back to your room or something!” you snapped at them. For the first time since you had met, the boys seemed to remember that you were a Hashira, which meant you could look after yourself. It also meant that you were undoubtedly capable of dismembering them if they got on your nerves…which they had, many times before this. Their eyes widened but they nodded, scurrying off down the hall. You watched them go, casting a look at the now snoring Inosuke still standing there. 

“Should we wake him?” Mitsuri pondered.

“No.” Iguro retorted, reaching towards you.

“What’re you doin - Yah!” All of a sudden you had left the discomforts of your wheelchair and were dangling idly in the air.  With your legs useless, you couldn’t do much but glare at the Serpent Hashira. He peered down at you, shrugging.

“Easier to move you around this way.” he said simply. Next to you, Mitsuri giggled. 

You had no choice but to accept it, grumbling to yourself as you tried to hide the slight flush creeping up your neck. 

~

Outside, the sun was high in the sky. The sound of birds and running water echoed from the forest beyond the garden walls. 

Mitsuri had directed the three of you towards a large oak, where you now sat in the cool shade. You had propped yourself up against the trunk, Iguro to your right and Mitsuri laying on her tummy in front of you two. 

You all sat in silence, watching the calm scenery pass you by. Iguro’s head flopped back against the bark, a quiet sigh leaving his lips. Mitsuri yawned, legs kicking up behind her as she stretched out her arms. You just sat and watched, eyebrows drawn as you thought about what to say. Were you supposed to ignore what had happened three weeks ago? Were you guys just hanging out as friends now? Iguro had started saying something back inside but maybe he didn’t want to talk about it…

Your lips pursed.

 Before you could dive deeper into your lair of doubt and confusion, a loud chatter caught your attention. All of you watched as a small group of demon slayers stumbled through the garden gates and made their way toward the mansion. As they joked around with each other, your eyes caught on their nichirin blades, shimmering like glitter in the sun. Your finger twitched beside you. 

Your katana was long gone. After it had snapped into two on the mountain, it served you no purpose. Because of this, you had been blade-less ever since you woke up. Though Shinobu promised you that your swordsmith would bring you a new blade any day now, you were beginning to think she was lying to you to keep your spirits high. If you had it your way, you would’ve gone to the swordsmith village by now and re-equipped yourself; but no, apparently that wasn’t an option according to the Insect Hashira. Despite your argument that you could heal fine at the village and not have to worry about demons, you were ‘not permitted to leave the butterfly mansion until approved by a senior doctor.’ AKA, until Shinobu Kocho stopped being the bane of your existence.

Mitsuri followed your gaze, looking back at you with a small smile.

“You must really wanna get back out there after being cooped up in here the last couple’a weeks, huh?” 

You shrugged noncommittally, eyes falling away from the blade as the slayers made their way inside. 

“I suppose so,” you hummed, fingers tugging at the grass absentmindedly. Iguro grumbled from your right.

“Well I don’t want to fight another demon for the next fifty years after that last fight. Fuckin’ hell.”

MItsuri laughed, swatting at his leg playfully. At the same time, she nodded her head. 

“It was…” she chuckled softly. “It was a lot.”

As you observed her a bit closer, you saw the dark shadows under her eyes and the purplish-blue where a bruise was beginning to form on her cheek. The numerous cuts littering her face was giving way to the warm swelling beneath. Glancing besides you, you noted that the same could be said for Iguro. Hot glue stuck your throat closed as you shut your eyes briefly. This was your fault. 

“I’m sorry.” You spoke quietly. “You didn’t have to…I mean, you didn’t need to go after the upper moon. I - I’m sorry.” You couldn’t think of what else to say but apologise. You were the reason they had come home looking like crap. You were the reason they were probably aching all over right now. You. It was you.

“Shuddup,” Iguro suddenly barked, peering over at you. You stopped yourself from jolting at his unexpected demand. 

“I-”

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but we went after that upper moon on Ubayashiki’s orders. It had nothin’ to do with you.”

Your eyes widened, lips opening and closing as you tried to find the words to respond.

“Iguro!” Mitsuri groaned, one hand slapping her forehead. Like you, she gaped for a second as she tried to find the right words to say.

“What? I’m just telling the truth.” He said calmly. Mitsuri glowered at him, one finger rising up to point at him menacingly.

“That is not the tru-” her eyes lit up with a sudden realisation. “You’re just grumpy because that demon called you ugly!” she accused.

“Huh?!”

“Huh?”

Both you and Iguro spoke at the time, although Iguro was sounding a little more outraged at her words.

“The demon what?” your question fell on deaf ears.

“I am not grumpy about that!” Iguro defended himself instantly. Mitsuri responded back with equal fervour.  

“You totally are! I told you you’re not ugly! Why are you still mad?!” 

“I’m not!”

“You are!”

It took you a second to process the words being exchanged but once you did you could do nothing but clasp a hand over your mouth and stifle your giggles. Kaburamaru slithers over from Iguro’s shaking shoulders to perch on you grumpily. You reached your free hand up to stroke along his head gently, watching the two bicker. 

It was only when Mitsuri’s wild eyes turned to you, did you realise that you should say something. 

“You’re not ugly, Iguro.” You said, nudging the hashira next to you. The stream of words falling from his lips paused as he turned to look at you. “The demon was probably just trying to rile you up. In fact, you’re the least ugly guy I know.” you grinned easily at him and he seemed stunned for words. Mitsuri sighed dramatically, plopping back down into the grass with a huff. You bit your tongue to stop from laughing.

“That’s not true,” Iguro mumbled, head turning away from you. As you lose sight of his face, your face falls flat. Who knew that the Snake Hashira of all people would be so vain? Seeing the expression you bore, Mitsuri shook her hands at you, urging you to continue. You stuck your tongue out at her. 

“Oh, Iguro ~ “ you murmur, hair falling in your face as you shake your head conspiratorially. “Really, you’re the most handsome guy I know. Don’t be such a baby about it, okay? It almost takes away from how stunning you are.”

You grin like a vixen when his head whips back towards you. With his face right in front of you, you can see the light dusting of red covering his cheeks. 

“But I -”

“Oh good lord, Iguro!” you snapped playfully. “What is this? One of those cheesy love stories Mitsuri likes to read?” you ignore the yelped ‘hey’ from the bubblegum haired girl. “Don’t give me that bullcrap! I’ve literally seen you without your bandages and I still love you so what's the problem!?” 

Your breath leaves you in pants as you contain a laugh. Iguro continues to stare at you, his pupils dilating. It isn’t until you turn to look at Mitsuri that you realise something is wrong. She’s gone silent, mouth dropped open. 

“What? What did I say?” you ask hesitantly, glancing back at Iguro. 

The squeals are all the warning you get before a solid force smashes into you. Slightly disoriented, you barely register Mitsuri wrapping around you like a toddler.

“I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!” 

You groan, peeking one eye open to look at the Love Hashira. She’s already beaming down at you, hands cupping your face.

“I knew you loved us!” She rotates to talk to Iguro. “I told you she was just overwhelmed! I did!”

He goes to say something back at her but ends up just shaking his head. His bandages shift slightly upwards.

Listening to Mitsuri, what you just said dawns on you. Your face pales, lips parting slightly. Mitsuri catches the look on your face and jumps, about to clamber off of you. Before she can, you wrap a hand around her arm softly. Her face flushes but she stays where she is.

You wet your lips, trying to make sense of all the thoughts in your head. 

“Hey,” Mitsuri whispers. “You know it’s okay if you didn’t mean to say that…I’m not trying to force you to confess your undying love for us if you don’t actually love us, y’know?”

You shoot a surprised look at her. “Huh? No! No that’s not it. I just…how? Why?”

“You're gonna have to be a bit more specific than that,” she giggles. The hold you have on her loosens slightly, your eyes casting towards the ground. 

“How can you still love me? After what I said? How I pushed you away?” Tears hide behind your eyelids. “I was a total bitch. I mean, I thought you would never even talk to me again! I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Mitsuri looks away and you realise that she’s mouthing something at Iguro. Suddenly, there’s a hand gripping onto yours tightly.

“Stop apologising,” Iguro’s gruff voice comes from beside you. You realise it’s his hand that you’re holding. “Suri’ kept saying that you were just overwhelmed, that you didn’t mean what you said. I realise now that she was right.” You can’t stop the tears that dribble down your cheeks. Mitsuri’s hold on you tightens. “I mean, you nearly died that day and here we were announcing our love for you? What the hell is up with that?”

You choke on a laugh, fingers curling into the palm of his hand.

“What I’m trying to say,” Iguro mutters, somewhat embarrassed. “Is that if anyone should be sorry, it’s us. We pushed you too far and didn’t stop to consider how you may have felt. So…we’re sorry.” 

Everything goes quiet, your quiet sniffling slowing down. Mitsuri leans back to smile at you.

“Can we just stop all this sad shit?” she laughs. You echo her, reaching up to wipe away the remaining water in your eyes. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” You.

“Please. No more of this emotional crap.” Iguro.

All three of you begin laughing in earnest now. All the drama and tears getting carried away by the gentle breeze that sweeps through the garden. 

As you calm down, you notice the soft look on Mitsuri’s face. Her eyes dart down for a second, a pinkish hue colouring her cheeks.

Before you can question it, she’s pressing her lips to yours, hands gripping at your shirt tightly. It starts as quickly as it ends as she pulls back, eyes twinkling with stars.

“Too soon?” she giggles.

“Not soon enough,” you murmur, tugging her back towards you. Iguro’s firm grip on your hand keeps you safe and warm, reminding you that they were your family - your priority. 

[egophiliac]

Coming to knock on your door just to ask HOW you downloaded the ocr kanji look up thing because I have come back to try and download it several times and it required JAVA and I do not have java so I would try to download java for this thing bc I would like very much greatly to download this thing and it is So Much. How Has Anyone Alive Ever Downloaded Java. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please I am begging you to tell me that I am missing an easier solution somehow because I WOULD very much greatly like to download This Thing

huh, that's weird! it sounds like you might be downloading something meant for desktop, maybe...? there's a few different mobile apps that work well for games; personally I like Kaku, which puts an overlay onto your screen to read text off of! you have a little box you can drag/resize around the screen, and then you double-tap it to get a popup with the text that you can then tap each character on to get a definition:

I like Kaku because the per-character lookup works well for me, and also my saving grace, which is that you can correct bad readings(!!!) by tap-holding and dragging down to pick an alternate character (and if that doesn't work there's a way to handwrite the correct kanji, though I've never had to use it, knock on wood). it's good for 90% of the time, but it can be hiccupy sometimes, so I also use EverTranslator in OCR mode for the remaining 10% -- it doesn't have a dictionary or character correction, but it does let you copy the text so it can be pasted into Jisho or something. (it also does translation, but it's the jankiest of janky machine translation, so...stick with the OCR.)

disclaimer that it is a dictionary versus a translation app, so you do need some familiarity with Japanese to get much use out of it. then again my Japanese is at, like, "kana + basic grammar + words anime and toku have taught me" level and it works for me, so! 🤷 never underestimate how much narrative context can carry you past the language barrier

[puellamagishowdown]

Round 2 Has Finished!

Hey, no tiebreakers this time!

Not much to say this time. Most of the results were what I expected but I do have some questions about others (please feel free to answer said questions).

If you would like to see the percentages and some commentary, continue reading. If not, I will see you soon for round 3.

Ayame Mikuri (51.9%) vs Miyuri Yukari

Pia Undo vs Tsubasa Hanekawa (75.2%) - I know nothing about Divine Gate, but I do think Pia's outfit is quite cute. A little sad she lost.

Toyo vs Madoka Kaname (84.3%)

Livia Medeiros (50.7%) vs Rena Minami - ... Really? Alright then.

Sana Futaba (78.3%) vs Asahi Miura

Kaede Akino (56.8%) vs Sudachi Suwa

Mikoto Sena (51.7%) vs Hotaru Yura

Saki Asami vs Mikage Yakumo (82.6%)

Sasara Minagi vs Amaryllis (81.1%) - This was a much larger gap than I expected. Is her story that good or do people mostly just like the design better?

Ren Isuzu (76.3%) vs Kokoro Awane

Kuro vs Nanaka Tokiwa (70.9%)

Kagari Hinata vs Alina Gray (85.7%)

Mikura Komachi vs Yu (76.9%) - Please, I am begging someone to tell me why Yu. Why is she so popular? It can't be because she's a serial killer, other serial killer magical girls have lost this already.

Himena Aika (62.5%) vs Sayuki Fumino

Ashley Taylor (70.7%) vs Meiyui Chun

Mel Anna (77.1%) vs Ryoko Natsu

Hazuki Yusa  vs Eternal Sakura (71.2%)

Mayu Kozue (53.4%) vs Kako Natsume

Rui Mizuki vs Kanoko Yachiyo (64.8%) - Aw man, the resident chuunibyou lost...

Masara Kagami vs Juri Oba (57.3%)

Kyoko Sakura (88.8%) vs Tsubaki Mikoto

Riz Hawkwood (75.4%) vs Kanna Hijiri

Chiharu Hiroe vs Mito Aino (59.2%)

Corbeau vs Tsuruno Yui (70.4%)

Yuma Chitose vs Mitama Yakumo (77.6%)

Yuna Kureha (66.2%) vs Riko Chiaki

Ayaka Mariko (74.6%) vs Meguru Hibiki

Momoko Togame vs Ui Tamaki (52.1%) - This was a little closer than I expected.

Ao Kasane (52.7%) vs Suruga Kanbaru - For a while, I really thought Suruga was going to win this.

Gunhild vs Homura Akemi (85.2%)

Sae Kirino vs Nagisa Momoe (74.3%)

Iroha Tamaki vs Yachiyo Nanami (62%) - It feels early to have two major characters face off, but the RNG willed it. And it wasn't that close.

Seika Kumi vs Nayuta Satomi (52.6%)

Karin Misono (56.7%) vs Kanae Yukino

Konoha Shizumi (68.9%) vs Shigure Miyabi

Oriko Mikuni (76.9%) vs Lapin

Olga vs Mifuyu Azusa (59.5%)

Felicia Mitsuki vs Mami Tomoe (72.2%) - Even against another major side character like Felicia, Mami has dominated. All hail Mami.

Rika Ayano vs Sayaka Miki (66.3%)

Mitsuru Inami vs Ikumi Makino (69.5%)

Kirika Kure (63%) vs Konomi Haruna

[penguinkyun]

chapter 146 review

i feel a little insane about this chapter. alright not just a bit a lot oh my god we are so back everyone 

before we begin, due to the nature of this chapter including himekawa airi, csa and child abuse along with a murder suicide are going to be mentioned so if you do not feel upto engaging please click off and take care of yourself

lets start with the filming scenes then. so we start with airi trying to reassert control and get into hikaru's head by telling him taiki was his son (horrifying) and how he would return to her because no one would love him (can i strangle her can i please please i really fucking want to this absolute-). this is the lead up to what is essentially the turning point in kamiki's life and hkai relationship: the uehara-himekawa murder suicide.

its so incredibly fucked that right after hikaru asks ai if she'll love him forever (as a direct response to airi manipulating him) she doesnt outright say yes (but she admitted she was trying to be honest and that is such a huge step forward for her) and when he tells uehara, the murder suicide happens. its a string of events very heavily culminating in an absolutely horrible situation for kamiki to find himself in. you can see from that panel of kamiki screaming that he absolutely did not mean for that to happen and it weighs on him. and speaking of weights…the Cut 156: Importance of Life comes right after the scene of the uehara-himekawa murder suicide. doesn't that name sound very Very similar to a certain dialogue? 

honestly its this similarity that has me tentatively putting out an incredibly batshit theory that for some reason, before filming and the final script was produced, aqua and kamiki met and something in that conversation caused a noticeable shift in how kamiki was portrayed in film. because for a film meant to murder someone, its oddly sympathetic isn't it? even to the point ai herself becomes a little less sympathetic. almost like it isn't kamiki's sole responsibility (although he was definitely involved) of the murder of ai and that someone else was pulling the strings as well cough secret villain kaburagi-. 

the shift is obvious in how frill calls it an extremely spiteful script…but once the final script is produced, both mem and kana point out that there is some kindness in the work, and that its difficult to say whether there is hatred or not. very shrimptresting. 

this is also backed up by…how exactly did aqua know all of this? i doubt kamiki would've told anyone else except maybe ai, and the only person who would know all of this down to the exact detail is kamiki himself. 

right this is becoming a full conspiracy theory that deserves its own post so lets move on 

anyway this chapter was so good for hikaru-ruby and ai-aqua parallels because hikaru nearly begging ai to say she loves him and will stay forever is incredibly reminiscent of ruby asking aqua if sensei still likes her and not letting him go out of fear he'd disappear if she did so and how both ai and aqua deflect awkwardly in those conversations out of discomfort with the question being presented to them and out of a desire to not outright lie to kamiki and ruby respectively

sidenote: goddamn the acting in this chapter. frill deserves several many awards for this film

sidenote sidenote: in movie!kamiki flopping onto ai was so adorable askjfsks ruby flopped the same way onto ai (in the bath scene in the volume extra)

and before we get to the next section let me just- 

screams 

kana nation we are so fucking back. 

this really is the start of aqua opening up!!! finally. i wonder what shift caused this given how intent he was on Never Telling Anyone but man am i so happy its happening. aqua being happy for the first time in quite a while like…how many chapters has it been? he's happy for 0.6 seconds!!! he giggled!!! im so happy aqua is actually happy askhfsks

aqua also now has a specific wry smile when talking about his mental health (just like ai has a very specific suffocating smile when shes trying to deflect)

kana’s response to this is honestly incredibly in character in that expression of concern she has seconds before she decides to keep the status quo of bickering esque dialogue that she has with aqua (likely trying not the overwhelm him) but very clearly expressing that she doesn’t want aqua to die and extracting the promise from him that he wouldn’t do so. then proceeding to act extra silly to try and cheer him up. kana i love you

aqua dropping the “i find myself happy when im with you” inhales. please excuse me while i go scream into the void. aquakana lets fucking goooooo. and kana quietly saying it back when aqua leaves? auuuuuughhhh

and finally, the real star of this chapter: KAMIKI’S BACK WITH THE MILK THIS IS NOT A DRILL HES BACK

so many things are interesting about these last few panels because at first i thought ruby was at ai’s grave but on a closer look she’s actually at a shrine? hm. for whom i wonder. did crow girl finally get fed up and tell her to give reverence akfsjsks. 

thing is, i don't think ruby’s in danger. because back in the chapter where kamiki debuted (c.72) he…never actually expresses any hatred or dislike towards her? honestly its rather reads like he’s proud of her and also nino apparently confirmed to kamiki that she wasn’t like ai so if that is his actual motive she’s not in danger of being killed for that. akamengo are the real antagonists of this series for the break next week fr. don’t you love oshi no ko our favourite biweekly manga

so this is an interesting ground for a father-daughter conversation isn’t it? 

[sunsetsmakemesad]

Oshi no Ko chapter 150

Hmm this is interesting

FINALLY we're doing something with the plot

Idk how to feel about Gorou honestly. Whatever he has going on with Sarina is definetly creepy, but atleast he doesn't seem to reciprocate...?

You see there's the problem. Ruby isn't able to let go of "Sarina" even if that's not who she is anymore. She's Ruby Hoshino now, and she has to learn to let go of the past.

It would make for SUCH an interesting arc, if only Aka was interested in developing Ruby as a character😮‍💨

Aka do something with Ruby I'm begging you

Ok so ignoring the weird undertones I am SO HAPPY about this because it basically confirms what I've been thinking of from that one chapter with Aqua and Kana at the start of the manga.

Aqua isn't Gorou, he's developed past the man known as "Gorou". Gorou is dead, and this is something Ruby can't make peace with.

Actually, thinking of this right now, maybe the REASON Ruby can't let go of Sarina is because she was a child when she died. She wants to experience the life she never got to, pretending to be Sarina. And her brain was never fully developed in the first place, so i suppose she can't really start anew? Unlike Gorou, who lived a full life, to some extent.

Also AQUA CALLED HER HIS PRECIOUS LITTLE SISTER DON'T TALK TO ME I AM CRYING

Aqukana crumbs hmm.

Also yeah Aqua is an adolescent! Good to finally have proper confirmation that the thing from the incest chapter was an act to make Ruby happy.

"You don't have to act anymore, you're free to love someone" AAAAAAAAAAAA

Dad(Aka) came back with the milk(the plot)

Cuties

"Cool" you know Aqua is a bit pathethic but alright

He definetly does alright

Tsundere on tsundere interaction(Aqua and Kana)

Also Mengo's artttttt delicious

Imaggeeee limittttt

Basically Kana texts Aqua asking if he's free on saturday and there's a panel of her flustered holding the phone and thinking "I am seriously inlove"

I guess I should be mad about this having a romance plotline but I'm really not. It can be used as a good developer for the characters

Unfortunately Aka seems to have an on-and-off amnesia when it comes to Knowing How To Write.

All in all, delicious chapter

[channiesdelululand]

제발

Part 1 Bang Chan x reader 

NSFW Part 1 Includes: Preluding to sexual acts, cursing

Part 2 will Include: Rough sex, breath play, choking, begging, degrading kink, orgasm denial, edging, oral giving and receiving, marking, aftercare, cursing

벗어나기 위해 몸부림쳐 봐야 HOLYSHIT! Okay you’ve seen the music video a thousand times but now live in front of you?! The way this man moves, the way those leather pants and cut off shirt leave absolutely nothing to the imagination. How can I even focus on the music when all I can focus is the way the sweat rolls down the back of his neck. The curling of his lip as he sings the chorus. I never thought words could sound so sexual until I heard him growl 걸. 

Shit.. How did the song end already?? The whole crowd is silent. Nows my y/n moment, just go for it. Kana looks over at you and laughs because she sees the panic of feral Y/N, she nods in agreement you should do it. She says “Quick yell it!” Your best friend knows you all to well! Its not like you haven’t talked a big game about wanting to shout at 찬 the one phrase he has cheekly deemed okay. Here goes! “찬 제발!!” Most of the members on stage hear you and stop goofing around to look at their leader who at first seems caught off guard. What really is 30 seconds in reality feels like an eternity as 찬 is now looking right at you.. .No into your soul. You can’t tell what his expression means but you feel a jolt of excitement coming from those beautiful eyes of his. They are all laughing on stage as he lifts up his hand in a Darth Vader using the force type of way and says well since you asked so nicely and mimics pushing you back. He does his adorable giggle and then the show continues on to the next song. Lord does this boy have a real hold on your heart.

Kana is shooting daggers  as you almost pass out. Oh my god did I just live out my fantasy?! Both of you giggle and squeal that your time to shine had come. Not thinking a whole lot more of it because the next song was on and it was time to go back to feening over the boys! 

Walking back into the hotel it feels so surreal. Feet are throbbing, your arm is DEAD from swinging the lightstick all night, but your heart is so full! As you reminisce the past 4 hours of your life a man wearing a black hoodie with the hood up grabs your hand and places something inside. As quick as it happened he was gone disappearing among the guest of the bar spilling into the lobby. Kana walks in right after and notices you frozen in your tracks. “What’s up babe?… Y/N you okay?”

“Yeah, no umm somebody just handed me this.” You hold up what you now realize is a room key with a small note. Are you going crazy? As you start to tell your best friend what just happened it hits you… That frame, the jaw line, the nose… And is that the lingering scent of Versace? No, there’s no way… 

“Y/N if you don’t speak I swear to God..”

“Sorry, ummm this guy just handed me this”

“Well, what’s it say?” 

You unfold the small note and read, in his unmistakable hand writing, “Meet me in room 1997 in 30 minutes. Don’t keep me waiting. -C” 

“Kana, okay don’t think I’m crazy but I think… umm well  I am certain that is 찬”

Your best friend has heard you say some pretty delulu shit before but this was insane. An idol wants you to meet him in his room?! Theres no way! Before Kana can check to see if you have some sort of concussion your phone dings. Its bubble, but more importantly its 방 찬.. “Better hurry 😏”. 

“Okay, okay maybe I believe you… I mean he did have a hold on you during the concert. Oh my God he is going to have stayville in a whirlwind with that message. Here’s what we do FaceTime me from your phone until he answers the door just to double check. You know getting murdered would really put a damper on this vacation.”

“Hahahah I’d hate to make you lose me to a stranger. Wait I’m sweaty and gross. Oh but I did shave!”

“Y/N, GO! That man is waiting for you. Just you know text me at some point to let me know you’re okay and what you know, how he looks.”

“Shut the fuck up K!” You are both laughing it up as you head to the elevator. You part ways as you are going to the top floor… 

An empty hallway but a head full of thoughts… There’s no way this is happening right? You finally reach the door. Do you knock? You have the room key? Shit Kana didn’t FaceTime me. Am I about to die? You put the key to the door and as the light turns green the door opens before you can open it yourself and there he is. Christopher Bang smirking at you. “Took you long enough, Princess.” Before you could respond he already has a very firm grasp on your waist as he brings you inside the room with a swift movement the door is slammed shut by the force of him pinning you against it. “This is what you wanted right? You asked so nicely I wanted to reward such good behavior.” 

[lecterthewhale]

Having work when the newest episode of Oshi No Ko comes out? Lame. Anyway, it’s later than my last few posts for this show, but I finally watched episode 5 and I love it!

This episode, in many ways, seemed to bring back a lot of that humor we saw and loved in the first episode that’s been largely missing in the past few episodes. Yes, we still have Aqua being obsessive about getting revenge and everyone still misses Ai(though, to be fair, I don’t know if it’s possible not to miss Ai), but that wasn’t the main focus.

In the past few episodes, the main comedic parts have come from Kana(assuming Aqua’s gay, following Aqua home, freaking out when she found out that Aqua wasn’t in the celebrity department, fighting with Ruby), and this episode continued that!

Considering how the previous episode ended, we all knew that Kana was going to feature decently heavily in this episode, but man I did not expect her going joining Ruby to go down in quite the way it did here! I mean, first of all Ruby and Alana constantly fight! I can’t wait to see these two continue to get closer because it’s honestly hilarious seeing the two of them go at each other yet also work together. On top of that, Aqua begging her to join? Hilarious, but also man did Aqua do Kana dirty! I love him so much! 😂

Okay, and then Ruby? She’s still so sweet and innocent, but now she’s finally starting to become an idol! Oh, and the way she wants to be honest and not have any lies? Man is she so sweet and naive! That being said, the fact that Ai was an expert lier and Ruby plans to be an idol who doesn’t lie is an interesting juxtaposition and it will be interesting to compare the two as the series progresses—especially since you know that the one thing that Ruby will have to lie about is Ai.

I will say, though, that having her idol group named the same thing as her mother’s seems like a dumb move considering that’s something that she probably wants to keep a secret. Like, there’s no way people aren’t gonna sit down and compare the new B-Komachi to the old one, so there’s bound to be a decent number of people who might notice the similarities between Ai and Ruby. Hopefully Ruby won’t end up regretting any of this!

As for my boy, Aqua, man I am laughing! I mean, we all saw the dating show coming(our obsessive little boy is willing to throw away his dignity for his revenge anytime!), but man, the fact that our lovable little sulky boy hates it all so much and yet is acting his literal heart out pretending to be happy about all of it is sending me! 🤣🤣🤣

As much as I love Aqua, I will say that the part where Aqua was talking about his love for Ai was a bit weird/uncomfy since it was framed in a romantic way yet she’s his mother and all that. It’s the thing that made me hesitate in the first episode, but Aqua has somehow managed to be respectful towards Ai despite being her fan, you know? Like, refusing breast feeding, not being overly cuddly, supporting Ai with her pregnancy, things like that. To me, all of it made what would otherwise be awkward and uncomfortable humorous and acceptable. This conversation brought up all those things, but Aqua said it wasn’t a romantic love, so I just hope that’s solidified a bit more as it gets brought up.

Anyway, I can’t wait to see how all this goes down—who will join Kana and Ruby’s Idol Group, how the dating show will go down, what’s up with the girls in the dating show(because I’m calling it now: all of them are sketchy!), and what will happen next! I really can’t predict much for what will happen in this show and it makes me so excited and curious about what’s going to happen next!

[demonslayedher]

Things that ran through my head while watching this episode:

--Here are at Gurenge's last use, and I am lip-syncing with passion as the credits roll.

--If this episode comes in three parts, it's setup for their big movie announcement, Muzan's slaughter of the Lower Moons, and Tanjiro Tanjiro-ing all over the place. The only one immune to getting Tanjiro'ed is Genya... for now. Your time shall come, child. Soon.

--The Infinity Fortress gets its first appearance and hearing those twangs of the biwa is sending my brain back to those sounds playing at the Infinity Fortress display at the Gotouge art gallery. It really is a cool setting, though... I am... I am so not ready to see animated everything else which happens there.

--Hate to say it, but the CG is kind of rough on Muzan's flesh and I hope that'll get improved on before the big showdown with Muzan.

--These scene should be used in corporate training courses about power harassment, complete with discussion afterward about how how each Lower Moon was harassed in a different way.

--Very interesting that the Lower Moons, at least according to Kamanue, have never been gathered. Maybe not that group of them since Kamanue has joined, anyway, since they keep getting plucked off. That said, in the Spider Sister filler, they made mention of being able to escape Mt. Natagumo when Rui is called away by "that person" and I had assumed this was a meeting, but I guess not. Muzan just liked Rui's company??? Or maybe he was conducting meetings but felt like bullying Kamanue and didn't invite him.

--Enmu really does make such an entrance as a character, we learn all we need to know about his personality through this scene. He also makes a great display of how Muzan's blood has such a pronounced effect on those who are already demons, too.

--I wonder if Rokuro was alive just long enough, like Wakuraba, to see Enmu receive Muzan's blood, seeing as he had just begged for that blood.

--Nakime really just lets Enmu go "plop"

--And Muzan's arm really did belch after eating up a Lower Moon.

--Back to Tanjiro & Friends, at some point they moved out of the hospital and got to stay in a regular Japanese style room together with futon! They really do just live here now.

--Something I liked but forgot to note in the previous episode is that the title card being Kanao's name had a chrysalis design, implying that she's not yet ready to spring forth as a butterfly. Awwww. <3 But here Kanae's prediction totally comes true and Ufotable left no question of the exact moment Kanao fell in love. To do that, though, they had her standing instead of sitting, and therefore had to sacrifice the part when Kiyo startles her and she falls off the engawa. Tee hee, oh well.

--I feel like I've already done extensive analysis of these scenes with Tanjiro and what they mean to Aoi & Kanao, so I'll move on and say "HAHAHAHA Tanjiro moved out of Genya's way and Genya STILL bumped him." Genya, with Himejima's influence, is probably mentally reciting sutras and doing his darndest not to turn around and break Tanjiro's arm as payback. Growth, in more ways than one.

--No, no, back to Kanao a second. You know something that hit me really hard the other day? All that stuff she says to Douma about how he doesn't actually feel a thing? KANAO WOULD BE THE ONE TO KNOW, WOULDN'T SHE.

--So, Shinobu recommending Tanjiro (& Friends) to accompany Rengoku on his mission is an anime filler moment, and it's really sweet that she is so supportive of Tanjiro's growth as a Corp member (unlike a certain Water Pillar we all know). However, then we get her flat-out telling Oyakata-sama about how Tanjiro's father used a Breath of "Hi" of some sort, and Oyakata-sama's "Oh?" is so very obviously meant as "ohhhhhh???? As in the original Breath, Sun Breathing? That must be while Muzan targeted him, ohohohohooooo, ooohhhhhh~"

--Oh hey, speaking of filler giving us more character interactions, who could that be out at the Butterfly Mansion?

--Giyuu, what business brought you out here? My newfound inner GiyuShino shipper wants to poke and tease, but I suppose I could also poke and tease him for just being curious about the future Water Pillar's progress. Sure, maybe he was out there on Pillar business or something and leaving because Shinobu wasn't there, but Ufotable really just made this whoel interaction as a way to provide a nice bookend to the beginning of the series--

--and then they just up and make Giyuu disappear

--WHOOSH

--he's gone

--Giyuu... why

--It's daytime. There's no demons. Why can't you just walk like a normal person.

--Speaking of having to deal with someone who can't act like a normal person, Inosuke. Inosuke and Tanjiro. Poor Zenitsu, it is his turn to hold the brain cell but it's hard to do that when you already have your hands full keeping your country bumpkin friends from getting arrested.

--Inosuke really flat up quiets Zenitsu by planting his hand across his face.

--The image of Inosuke posing with the swords down his pants will forever be burned in my mind, but the SOUNDS. I forgot about these sounds he makes.

--I've always loved how Zenitsu takes a moment to ask Tanjiro a serious question about Nezuko's welfare, which not only makes me happy because I love Tanjiro & Zenitsu friendship, but it's a clever device for Ufotable to wrap this "determination" themed season up by giving us a well-deserved flashback to some of the greatest Kamado sibling moments to remind us of their bond.

--We also really needed because we've hardly seen Nezuko lately and perhaps have forgotten what she looks like.

--On my first watch, I was so hooked by this point, and very saddened about having to wait for more Kamaboko trio interactions especially--that train platform scene left me pining for so much more of them. I wanted more so bad, but didn't want to read the manga because it didn't look appealing to me. But I... I wanted more... and I peeked at the Wiki... and ran into spoilers... and sooner or later got back into Tumblr... AND FOUND MORE SPOILERS.......... and I sure didn't last long before the binge-read began.

[papermint-airplane]

List 3 of your favorite sims from other simmers you enjoy and explain why (Send this to 10 other blogs 💖💖)

Gaaaaah, you're really making me work here. 😅 Three? Only three? But I love so many!!! 😫

In no particular order:

Noel IcantrememberhislastnameplsforgivemeIamsuchabadfriend from @happy-lemon and if you've ever seen her No Rules Legacy, he's waaaaaaaaaaaay back there in the generations. He wasn't an heir but he was the husband of Kana the...gen 2? heir. I am horrible with numbers, but I think she was immediately after Nara. Anyway, he had such a wonderful laid back vibe to him. I always lovingly referred to him as Dumpster Boy because that's where Kana found him. In the dumpster. He was dumpster diving and she pulled him out of the trash, fixed him up, and he went on to become the cutest dad/husband/Sim you could ever want. Trish was kind enough to send him to me, for reasons I don't remember because it's been a while...I'm fairly certain I didn't beg on my hands and knees but who can say? It's lost to time. I turned the boy into a werewolf because I thought it would be funny to have a vegetarian werewolf and it was. It really was. Noel was just as sweet and laid back in my game as he was in hers and he was instant best friends with Duchess the dog. Those two were inseparable. It was so cute. 🥺🥺🥺 You knew he was going to be on this list, Trish. This was calculated lmao. 🤣

Nero Lieder from @getboolpropped and I think the reasons why should be obvious. Bad person? Check. Transformed into a toad for an extended period of time? Check. Absolutely hilarious in any form? Check. I had me a binge of @getboolpropped's blog recently and of course I fell in love. The style, the editing, the humor. 👨‍🍳👌💋 Literally immaculate. And while I will miss Nero's toad form, the schnoz is iconic.

Why are you only allowing me three? I can't believe you've done this. Ok ok I'll stop whining (lies, I'll never stop whining). Jonah from @gaiahypothesims I mean it isn't just Jonah but you did say a specific Sim but honestly all the characters are so interesting and the storyline is so good and Jonah is very very very attractive. 😁 He's rough around the edges but he loves his daughter and he's got layers to him. Idk I'm always reluctant to describe other people's characters because I start getting panicky like "omg what if I read the character wrong and I'm totally off base from what the writer intended and I'm just displaying my ignorance to the entire world and the writer is gonna see this and know I'm a dumbass" and this is the entire reason I don't write book reviews on Goodreads because I start wondering if I really understood what I read but like that's probably just me. Anyway, that's for my therapist to untangle. I'm a sucker for a tough guy who loves kids in any media. Go read the story and fall in love with Jonah and everyone else, too. It's very well-written. You won't regret it.

Ok I'mma send this other people but I always hate doing that because I'm like what if they don't want to do it and I'm just being a nuisance what if they secretly hate me what if--LAURA OMG call your therapist. Just my disclaimer: if you get this message from me, you are under no obligation to do the thing. I have no expectations. You are free. I love you. 😚

[lavender-rosa]

koyuki and shinobu!!

So Shinobu first!

Favourite things about them 🦋: Her design is my favourite one out of the entire series, the purple, the pastel monarch butterfly haori that she is wearing that makes her look like she floats when she moves, it all screams elegance and I love it.

It is also a subtle nod to her fighting style as monarch butterflies are poisonous and poison is usually associated with the colour purple. Her eyes in the manga have a crosshatch design on them that makes them look like the eyes of an insect, and even the design of her sword mimics a bee stinger. Such a creative and well-thought out design.

More Shinobu praise under read more

Outside of her design Shinobu is a literal kid genius. She created her own breathing style and was an expert in pharmaceuticals and clinical toxicology when she was just a kid.

She trains herself, trains Kanao, slays demons, makes her own poisons, makes her own medicine, runs an entire household that is also a place to treat the sick and the wounded and she heals her own patients, someone give this girl a vacation.

What i also love about her is how Shinobu wears this sickly sweet, polite facade in an attempt to emulate and honour Kanae. She bottles up her grief, her pain, her rage, her hatred, she tries to kill her real self in order to mimic her dead sister which comes off as incredibly off-putting.

But just because Shinobu is full of hatred and rage it doesn't mean she is not kind, she deeply cares about people and seeing those people in pain further aids her anger. Her rage is born out of her empathy. She will heal but she will also rot someone from the inside out, she is medicine and poison.

Also her plan is so incredibly sad. A 14 year old girl has her sister die in front of her and at this moment decides that she will throw her entire life away for the sake of vengeance, she is just so exhausted and enranged by the constant losses that she deems herself someone who is too broken to attempt living a normal life, she turns her body into a living weapon, she bottles up all her negative emotions, she figuratively wears her dead sister's face and in the end she commits suicide by letting herself be killed by the man who took Kanae from her. Shinobu is one of the most tragic characters in kny i take no criticism.

Least favourite thing about them 🦋: This is less about her and more about how her writing is framed. Like in the paragraph above i describe a tragedy but the manga decides to portray it as oddly heroic? Like yeah her suicide greatly helped in Douma's defeat but it's still suicide. You said in your own post that kny has a problem with it's portrayal of suicide and it definetely applies to her.

It's especially egregious when Kanae, the same girl that begged Shinobu with tears in her eyes on the verge of death to quit the corps and lead a normal life, suddenly in the middle of the fight against Douma would encourage Shinobu to further self destruct and would accept her in the afterlife without even the tiniest bit of confrontation.

Yes, of course Kanae would eventually accept her in the afterlife, but imo it would have been less ooc if Kanae when reunited with Shinobu in was crying, angry at her for throwing her life away for the sake of vengeance, blaming herself for not being able to somehow prevent this, have the two sisters converse, come to an understanding, have Kanae tearfully embrace Shinobu and then they reunite with their parents. (something similar to Muichiro's and Yuichiro's scene).

Favourite Line 🦋: Yes, I am angry, Tanjiro. I’ve been angry the whole time. My parents were killed. My sister was killed. My disciples except Kanao were killed. Those girls, they must have lived calm lives with their families if their families weren’t killed by demons. Pisses me off. Screw you, idiot. Why do my poisons not work on you, bastard!

brOTP 🦋: with Giyuu <3

Also I think we should have actually seen her develop a friendship with Inosuke, instead of briefly mentioning it in a flashback.

OTP 🦋: *chanting* Shinomitsu, Shinomitsu, Shinomitsu-

nOTP 🦋: with Douma for reasons I hope are obvious. But sister murder aside, i think one of the reasons why i don't find this appealing is how Douma seems to be slightly amused at best and utterly apathetic and mocking at worst in regards to his attitude towards her. (Well except in the end where he suddenly develops feelings for her while in purgatory which ermm let's just say I greatly prefer your version where he meets his parents instead).

Also notp with Giyuu (see above picture)

Random Headcanons 🦋:

🦋 She is an autistic lesbian (Gotouge told me so)

🦋 In canon the first time she meets Tanjiro she offers to kill Nezuko with a soft, gentle poison unlike the very painful ones she usually uses. I wondered why Shinobu would be in posession of such a thing, so I headcanon that Kanae suggested to Shinobu to develop a gentler poison to use on surrendering demons (similar to water breathing's fifth form). After Kanae's death Shinobu still makes a small batch of this gentle poison to honor her. She has used it in some very rare instances.

🦋 On the rare occasions Shinobu has some free time she sometimes spends that time with Mitsuri. They bake in Mitsuri's kitchen, using her recipes and then they eat the sweets they made together while exchanging ghost stories.

(Shinobu's ghost stories always end up creeping Mitsuri out, while Mitsuri's ghost stories are more silly than scary)

Unpopular opinions 🦋:

1) I dislike it when people make kny aus where Kanae is alive yet they still make Shinobu act like this saccharine sweet, patient, never outwardly angry person despite the fact that the only reason Shinobu acted like this in the main series was due to Kanae's death.

Shinobu's character progression from this brash,honest, spitfire to the demure fairy is not a natural one caused by growing up it's a self destructive act of grief and it wouldn't make sense for Shinobu to wear this mask if her sister is alive.

(And like i do not blame the fans too much for this since Gotouge also does this with Kimetsu Gakuen sacrificing character consistency for marketability but i also hate it when they do it lol)

2) I think that the rooftop scene with Tanjiro shouldn't have happened. Just because Tanjiro is our protagonist it shouldn't mean that he must be connected to every character's interpersonal drama. It just seems too ooc to me that a character as emotionally closed off as Shinobu would confess all her trauma,pain and suffering to someone she barely knows. It would make more sense for her to tell all of that to Mitsuri who is canonically her best friend.

Songs I associate with them 🦋:

Angry too- Lola Blanc

Goodbye- Ramsey

Bitter Choco Decoration- Miyashita Yuu

Favourite pictures of them 🦋:

Koyuki

Favourite things about them ❄: First of all I love how cute her design is (like pink eyes with white flower shaped pupils??? genius 🥰) but I also love how it connects to Akaza. Her eyes and her kimono are pink just like Akaza's hair, she wears a snowflake hairpin and her kimono has a snowflake pattern on it, and Akaza's compass needle is shaped like a snowflake. Her design helps to visually connect her to him and it's also extremely sad how Akaza still subconsciously carries her memory with him even if he doesn't remember her anymore.

And she is just a genuinely kindhearted, sweet kid that died way too soon. Her romance turned tragedy with Hakuji is absolutely heartwrenching. They gave each other hope for a better future, a future they never managed to fully live out due to human cruelty. Her and Keizo's murder was the event that fully killed Hakuji's humanity and in the end it wasn't Muzan who made Akaza, humans did...

She is also like, the only reason Giyuu and Tanjiro are not dead. They were both too fatigued to continue fighting, Akaza at this point had become fully immune to beheading and was ready to deal the killing blows, had Koyuki's ghost not interrupted him and forced him to remember Tanjiro and Giyuu would be ⚰⚰. Koyuki is the real mvp of the fight.

Least favourite thing about them ❄: I don't have anything to say, she is a minor character present for 3-4 chapters so i can't really come up with anything to say here. The only admittedly self indulgent fault i can find with her is that we don't have more canon content of her.

Favourite line ❄: "Thank you Hakuji, You've done enough."

This line will fucking wreck me when voice acted.

BrOTP ❄: Since she doesn't interact with anyone who isn't Hakuji or her dad in canon, we are going to Kimetsu Gakuen for brotps. She deserves to form friendships with girls her age like Kanao, Aoi and Ume.

OTP ❄: Take a wild guess

Random Headcanons ❄:

She really wanted to have a cat as a pet but she couldn't due to her allergies.

The snowflake hairpin she wears was a gift from Hakuji.

Her birthday is on February 28 (last day of winter) making her a Pisces.

Unpopular Opinion ❄: I already mentioned on how i think her and Hakuji are the only canonical romantic kny pairing that Gotouge didn't manage to fuck up, which is already extremely controversial but I also think she is extremely underrated and I hope that after Akaza's backstory is animated Hakukoyu will become a more popular pairing (I can't keep re-reblogging the same content for them over and over again guys 😭)

Songs I associate with them ❄:

Goodbye Mr. Flower Thief (kurattes made an awesome akaza animatic on it)

When I'm gone- Joey+Rory (this song is not really my thing but it is about a dying woman singing to her lover so...)

Favourite pictures of them ❄:

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

Ok, but what if, here me out, what if Kana's first meeting with Dooku, also being her metting with a Sith, traumatized her cause she was helpless agains't him-

every I am begging you to give the baby a break 😭

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Thirty

Flowers on a Tombstone

Pairing: Osamu x Fem!Reader

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After a quick stop at the nearby florist and purchasing a bouquet of red and white roses, you arrive at the graveyard. At the entrance, you take a breath before walking through. You soon arrive at the family tomb, a small structure that looks like a house just big enough for their souls to float in and out. In front of the home stand grey tombstones with their names engraved. You kneel down and gently leave the bouquet just in front of Kiyoomi's grave.

You keep your black umbrella over your head as you sigh and look upon your father's name. "This is the first real conversation we've ever had since I said my first words and you left mom and me. I know nothing about you, father, but one thing I do know is that you're kind of a dick. Guess that's where the rest of us get it from... Maybe if you weren't such an ass you and Kiyoomi would still be here."

Maybe I shouldn't say that while I'm here. After all, it is the first time I've paid him a visit, so who am I to point fingers? 

"Kiyoomi, we all miss you. Atsumu and I especially. We still talk about you sometimes," you smile softly.

"I wouldn't worry about Atsumu all that much," a voice calls from behind you. "He'll be happy again soon enough."

You turn to your side and see Daisho standing a little way down the path.

"It took you long enough to get here, Y/N. What, do you not care about them?" he asks.

"You don't have the right to talk about them," you calmly respond as you place your umbrella on the ground. "Not after what you did."

"Alright, fine. I guess I'll just get straight to the point then," he grins, and in an instant, a gun is pointed towards your head.

AOI'S P.O.V.

Right after Y/N leaves, I run straight to Momoiro's house. She didn't ask me to promise not to go after her, only Osamu. 

"Momo," I tell her a bit out of breath as she opens the door, "we need to talk right now. It's about Y/N."

"Y/N?" she gasps. "Come in, I'll call up the others."

When Kana and Akako arrive, we sit together in the living room. They all stare at me and I feel super awkward but I take a deep breath and open my mouth. "Don't freak out, but I am part of a Yakuza syndicate that Y/N's father used to be the leader of."

They all laugh. "Be serious," Kana sighs, shaking her head. "Is this really what you called us over for, Aoi?"

"I am being serious," I quietly reply as I look away. "If you don't believe me then fine, but Y/N is in trouble! She met her father and her brother, only for them to be killed by a man named Daisho."

They all look at me intensely as I begin to elaborate. They know I wouldn't make something like this up for no reason.

"Y/N made a bad decision to go meet that man and we need to help her before he kills her, too. Please!" I beg of them.

Akako stands up and grins. "Alright then what are we waiting for?! Let's go!"

"Okay, wait. Don't we need a plan first?" Momoiro asks me. "Do you have one, Aoi?"

I laugh awkwardly and open the bag I've brought along with me. Inside I show them a submachine gun and a taser. After a look inside they stare at me slack-jawed, finally realizing that all of this is real.

"I brought a range just in case we need to get it over with or be stealthy. Besides, Y/N might want him alive for the time being. I'm just covering our bases."

The three of them all look at each other quietly. Akaka and Kana then both race towards the machine gun and hold it up together. Momoiro sighs and takes the taser. "The two of you better work together or else I'm going to end up using this taser on you!"

"We will!" they both squeak, knowing Momoiro's fully capable of doing that.

"So, uh, Aoi, where are we going anyway?" Kana asks.

"The graveyard. Y/N said Daisho will be there waiting for her. It's a matter of time until she meets him," I reply.

"We're killing someone at the graveyard?" Akako gasps, looking as though she's already seen a ghost.

"Yes... but you don't have to go if you don't want to! I'm sorry for coming to this but I don't know what to do. I never wanted to drag any of you into this," I sigh.

"It's okay," Momoiro nods as she puts her hand on my shoulder. "I'm in."

"Me too!" Kana grins as she tugs the gun away from Akako.

"Well don't leave me out," Akako smiles, holding up her thumb to me. "Ready to go when you guys are!"

When we arrive at the graveyard, I slam shut my gold car door and peer through the gate into the gravesite. 

"Hey, Akako," Kana whispers, giggling. "Do you know why there's always a gate surrounding the graveyards?"

Akako looks over at her nervously, turning her head to face Kana as though she'd never looked to the side before. "Why?" 

"Because people are always dying to get in," Kana laughs.

Akako rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue. "God, that's so stupid, where'd you learn that, your dad?" she pouts.

"No, yours actually," Kana grins wickedly.

Akako lets out a soft groan before storming off without the SMG. Kana laughs and points the gun forward. "C'mon, guys, let's go kill someone in a field of dead people!"

After that, she practically skips off and continues to torment Akako. Momoiro sticks behind, walking close to me. I can tell she's nervous. She always tends to be our leader, but her nerves are beginning to show in a situation like this. 

previous | next | missing heiress

Taglist: @thisbicc

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[llnjcb]

Thank you bibuuu sa effort kahit actually di ko alam kung alin diyan yung iyo or sa mga anak ko pero alam ko parin na part ka ng surprise na to.

Sa totoo lang, lately nabawasan yung kilig na nararamdaman ko kasi nasasanay na kong di ka kausap dahil nga pag morning may pasok ka tas pagka-uwi, ako yung walang tulog kaya minsan natutulog ako or umaalis kami tas nakakatulog kana. Siguro nga normal lang to sa medyo matagal na pero ayoko ng ganito, gusto ko parin ma-maintain yung kilig na nararamdaman ko since day 1. Gusto ko transparency kaya gusto ko narin i-bring up to sayo para aware ka. Kumbaga bumabalik yung routine ko nung wala pa akong boyfriend, like sa times na di ako okay, alam kong wala ka at mag isa lang ako, sa times na need ko ng help, alam ko mag isa lang ulet ako, pag need ko ng kausap at presence mo alam ko wala ka, kaya nasasanay akong ganito which is ayoko manatili sa ganito. Gusto ko bumalik ulet yung super grabeng kilig, super grabeng paghahanap ng time at presence mo. Habang nag babasa ako dito sa tumblr ng mga old messages ko/natin, namimiss ko. Ngayon kasi parang kampante na masyado, bawas na efforts at bawas na time.

Napapagod narin ako mag beg ng time mo, napapagod narin ako maghanap ng presence mo na dati di ko kayang di ka makausap or ka-FT bago matulog pero dahil sinanay na ako ulet sa ganito, wala na di ko na masyadong hinahanap which is inuulit ko, AYOKO. Ayoko masanay na wala ka sa routine ko.

Nag chat ako sayo habang nasa tagaytay tayo ng random na "iloveyouu" kasi gusto ko makita reaction mo, nung nabasa mo ngumiti ka ng patago at natuwa ako. Don ko nasabing meron paring kilig I mean di pa nawawala totally at bawas lang. I am trying my best na mabalik tayo sa dati so hoping you'll help me too.

Sa mga times na clingy ako sayo, gusto ko kasi maramdaman ka kahit papaano, lately kasi hindi talaga masyadong ramdam. Nakakaramdam ako ng kulang sakin 😭 unti unti na kasi nawawala sa routine ko, parang nagiging okay nalang sakin na di ka kausap, namimiss ko yung dating di kaya matulog ng isa't isa na di magka-FT.

Sana tulungan mo ko mabalik sa dati. Kung pagmamahal lang di naman nagbabago yon, gusto ko lang mabalik yung excitement ulet, yung kilig na super grabe, yung matinding effort at time.

Habang nagkukwento si Alex na halos siya gumawa sa surprise, nasaktan ako. Expected ko kasi sayo yon 😅 pero thankful parin ako syempre inaabangan ko lang sana na may letter kasi sobrang gusto ko nagbabasa ng letter lalo kung galing sayo dahil alam kong pinag effortan sulatan yon at mabasa kung anong nararamdaman mo kaso wala, sads.

Thank you sa pagdrive kahit puyat kinabukasan dahil papasok pa.

Hoping we'll end the year full of happiness and love, mabalik tayo sa dati bago matapos ang taon. Miss na miss ko na si Bibuuu, miss na miss ko na yung dating tayo. Mahal kita palagi.

[chaosandbeauty97]

After I sent my last message to you. I cried and cried and cried and cried. I lost count kung ilang oras na ba ako umiyak. My body felt numb and nanginginig yung buong katawan ko, my fingers are trembling but I don't have anyone to calm me so ako nalang gumawa sa sarili ko. Still I continue to cry. I messaged my mom and si papa nakikibasa din pala at si mama sisisend kay ate ang chat ko silang tatlo nag iyakan din. I told them that's my fault. Napagod kana sakin. I couldn't give you enough time, I couldn't give what you want.

I couldn't handle the pain. Ang sakit-sakit. Gusto kong makaramdam nalang ng galit pero hindi ko magawa. I wanted to hate you so I could no longer feel anything towards you, so I can't have anymore reason to think and cry for you but I couldn't my love for you is bigger than what I want to feel to be better.

I want to end my life so badly. So fucking bad. It's true that I could live without you but It's bad, it's heavy, it's frustrating and sad without you in it.

I said petty words to myself. I look at myself sa camera ng cellphone ko and I just cried more. My insecurities and issues rushing to my system poising my brain and emotion. I am not pretty, I don't have a nice smile, a tantalizing eyes anymore. My skin is fucking damaged and my hair is worse. In short ang pangit pangit ko. Hindi ako matalino. Wrong grammar, hindi marunong ng "nang" at "ng". Wala akong humor. Ang lungkot lungkot ko kaya ako iniwan. Mas pinili ko maging malungkot kesa maging masaya. Mas pinili ko mag suffer. Tangina. I am miserable and you want something new. You want something more than me. no.. you want something that is not me. Lahat ng meron siya, wala ako.

Sana sinabi mo you don't want to try again dahil you want to try it with her. Sana di kana nag sinungaling. Sinungaling ka. Sana sinabi mo na you don't want me anymore dahil may mas gusto kana alagaan, may mas gusto kana pasayahin, may mas gusto kana pakinggan ng mga hinaing niya sa buhay. You could wait half day or even days just to wait for her chat. Okay. okay okay. I get it. May bago kang gustong I-save. Mas okay siya. Mas cooperative ba siya more than me? Oh mas better nga pala siya. Mas worth the risk. More than willing to take the risk.

Ang hirap mag salita kasi lahat ng sasabihin manipulative, gaslighting, breadcrumbing. Putangina. Hahahahahhahhahhahhahah I expressed myself ganyan sasabihin. No wonder I kept my words.

Naawa din naman ako sa sarili ko lalo na nung nag beg ako. Pero ikaw yan, tayo ito ipaglalaban ko. I would beg again.

Pero sana hindi kita hinayaan na makita ako sa worst state ko. Hindi kita hinayaan na umiyak at mag makaawa ako sa harapan mo. Sana hindi ko nalang dinala yung mga paa ko sa harap ng bahay niyo. Sana hindi nalang ako umiyak. Sana hindi nalang kita chinat ng kung ano ano. Sana may natira akong dignidad sa sarili ko. Hinubaran ko buong pagkatao ko sa harap mo. I let you see me that fragile. tangina ang sakit sakit.

You left me. You fucking left me. Sabi mo dito ka lang sakin. Sabi mo sasamahan mo ko. Sabi mo ako lang. Sabi mo hindi ka mag sasawa. Sabi mo pag napagod ka magpapahinga ka lang. Sabi mo proud ka sakin. Sabi mo 'di ka mawawala. Sabi mo maghihintay ka. Sabi mo, palagi. Iniwan mo ko. Iniwan mo ko. Pinili mo ko hindi mahalin, kalimutan at iwanan. Hindi mo ako pinili.

Bakit ako pinilipili kita? Bakit hinihintay padin kita? Bakit mahal padin kita? Sana sabihin mo naman sakin kung paano ka kalimutan kasi ang sakit sakit. Hindi ko alam paano ako makakabangon.

I am asking for my chance to make it right for one last time. Ayun nalang hinihingi ko para mapatunayan sarili ko sayo. Ayun lang. Umaasa ako pipiliin mo ako sa huling pagkakataon pero hindi.

Sana iniwnan mo nalang ako noon pa. Sana noon pa. Sana noon pa. tangina ngayon di ko alam saan ako pupulutin.

Tangina sa mga panahon malungkot o nawawala ako gusto ko lang naman yayain mo sa inyo, lumabas o puntahan man lang ako. Gusto ko lang naman makatabi ka sa pag tulog, mahagkan ang yakap at halik mo. Wala akong problema sa 'di nag uusap dahil I want to give you me time habang nasa tabi mo ko. kung gusto mo mag cellphone, magbasa at mag browse wala akong problema. Gusto ko lang nakikita kita, nasa harap kita, katabi sa pag tulog, katabi sa pag gising. Wala akong ibang hiniling.

I went to La Union and baguio last sept 30. unplanned I just packed my things at bahala na ang lahat. I never want to return... I self-reflect, may mga natutunan din naman ako. pero hindi kasama doon ang tigilan ka mahalin at hintayin.

pero ang galing kasi hindi mo na ako hinihintay iba na hinihintay mo tapos ako ikaw parin. Iba na ang yakap na gusto ko tapos ako ikaw parin. Iba na ang gusto mo halikan at icomfort pag malungkot or at lowest point tapos ako ikaw padin.

Ang galing.

[teoriadocaos3]

Continuation of the tale The Bamboo Cutter..

The Buddha's Stone Bowl.

Prince Ishizukuri felt that his life was worthless if he failed to marry the young woman, and reflected, "Is there anything I wouldn't do for her? Even if it means traveling to India?"

But being the prudent man he was, he figured it would be unlikely to find the bowl the Buddha used to beg for food, even traveling all eight thousand leagues to India.

Then, he left a message for Kaguya-hime, saying that he was leaving for India in search of the bowl and would be gone for three years.

In a temple in the Tōchi district of Yamato province, he found a bowl in front of the image of Binzuru, covered with black soot.  He put it in a bag of fabrics with brocades, all with flower arrangements, and took it to Kaguya-hime's house.

Upon receiving the bowl, the young woman eyed it suspiciously.  Inside the bag, a note read:

Umi yama no, michi ni kokoro o, tsukushi hate

naishi-no-hachi no, na ida nagareki

"I toiled my soul along the roads, between oceans and mountains; in search of the stone bowl, I wept tears of blood."

Kaguya-hime examined the bowl to see if it gave off any light,  but she saw nothing more than the glow of a firefly.  So he returned the bowl with the verse:

oku tsuyu no, hikari o danizo, yadosamashi

ogurayama nite, nani  motomeken

"I hoped that at least the sheen of tears could be here; why did you take this bowl from the Mountain of Darkness?"

The prince threw the bowl away near the gate of his house, and replied

Shirayama ni, aeba hikari no, usuru ka to

hachi o sutete mo, tanomaruru kana

"When she arrived at the Mountain of Clarity, perhaps she lost her light; I give up the bowl, but I am not ashamed to extinguish myself with hope."

The prince sent the verse to Kaguya-hime, but she did not grant him an answer.

When he realized that the young woman wouldn't even hear her pleas, he left without saying another word.

Due to his insistence and throwing the bowl away, people have since referred to surprise at such a shameful action as "bowl to the ground".