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#i am never tagging all of these guys again
simpjaes · 3 days
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NIGHT-SHIFT (p.sh)
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Sunghoon, a keen and professional man between the hours of 8 AM to 5 PM. ServiceKing, a faceless and proud man between the hours of 9 PM to 12 AM. Sunghoon’s secret night-life has nothing to do with the faces he sees day after day...until it does. or the one where you pay for a one on one call with a faceless cam guy you’ve been watching for a little while, and the next day your boss is avoiding you like the plague. 
minors dni 
PAIRING ― boss / cam boy!sunghoon x afab reader  
WORDCOUNT― 4.5k
WARNINGS―  dub-con since reader doesn’t know it’s him. 
CONTENT― office setting, sunghoon is a service top/soft-dom/whatever his clients need lol
 NOTE ― this was supposed to be a drabble, but i just....it needed a little more plot sorry. it's not very good, like fr this is not up to par with what I wanted... but i wrote it so im gonna post it.
nsfw tags under cut
nsfw tags― dubious consent, cam sex/virtual sex, dirty talk, masturbation instructions, umm…finger fucking, jerking off, fantasies, role-play type stuff
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ What are the chances? Honestly, what are the fucking chances?
Sunghoon sits up quickly from his relaxed position upon hearing a voice far too familiar on the other end of this call. He’s lucky he doesn’t have his camera on just yet, you’d have seen the embarrassing reaction to…well…hearing you of all people.
He knows the world can be small sometimes, but this is too small for comfort as he hears your muttered voice through the microphone again.
“So, what am I supposed to do?” You say. 
“Ah, uh–” Sunghoon pauses. There’s no way it’s actually you. Can you not recognize his voice too? “What type of call did you request again?” 
“Full service.” You remind him. 
Oh my god. You’re into this kind of thing? That pretty, well-mannered employee of his? The one who sips coffee quietly at her desk while actually responding to her emails? The one who never shows up to co-ed parties? The one who always dresses appropriately and addresses him in a timid way?
You…just paid a cam-boy to get you off in full? Not just any cam-boy either, you paid him.
God, his cheeks are so heated at the arousing thought. Never once has he ever imagined you in any scenario that doesn’t involve excel spreadsheets and finances. Arguably, you’ve probably never thought of him all spread out fucking his fist either but…you’ve blatantly seen him do it already.
He wonders how long you’ve been seeing this part of him, how long you’ve been getting yourself off all alone while he puts on a show for hundreds, and sometimes, thousands of people. 
As detrimental as this is, it’s his job to do this. You paid him to do it, just like how he pays you to do your job. He can’t be letting this hold him back. No, in fact, he needs to get this hour long session over with as quickly as fucking possible. 
“Right,” Sunghoon lends a chuckle, nervous sounding on his end but to you it just sounds cheeky. “Can I get your name, babe?” 
You’re quiet at first, never having done this before and absolutely not wanting this random horny guy to know who you are. Honestly, you already requested that only he turns his camera on during this call as well. As if you’d give out your real name. You give him a name that rhymes with your own instead, and there’s another chuckle after. 
He knows you’re lying. Out of all the employees that are under him, you’re the one he has to correspond with the most. After all, you’ve been up for the promotion to being his assistant for the past three months. He knows that isn’t your name. 
 Smart girl, just like he knew you were. 
“Is that so?” He tilts his head at his blank screen, watching the microphones light up with each breath. “Alright, and you’ll do everything I say, yes?” 
You nod to no one, realizing he can’t see you and instead giving him a hum and gentle words of “of course.”
His image flashes across your screen just moments later. The same as his usual streams. Face out of frame, hand strong and willing, his cock out and on display– only half hard. 
“Listen to me very carefully,” Sunghoon calls out to you with a low-rumbled voice, your almost-name falling from his lips shortly after. “Don’t hold your breath, you paid good money for this, and I want to hear you.”
Oh man, this is embarrassing for you to be doing this. But truly, anything at this point is better than another night all alone. 
And he does hear you. Relishing in that voice he hears day to day reciting memos and budgets, only this time, you’re calling out pleasurable reactions to how he tells you to fuck yourself. 
He’s good at it too. You can’t help but listen to every word, touching and massaging when he instructs you to, stopping just short of orgasm for him to ask, “That feels good, doesn’t it? Wish you had me doing it for you, isn’t that right?” 
Always using the fake name. Giving you full-service by the end of the call. 
Safe to say, you’re feeling refreshed by the next morning as you ready yourself for work, wanting very much to book the infamous ServiceKing again. 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Fuck, he can’t even look at you. Not after the way he got off last night. 
Not after hearing you moan out the way you did while he simultaneously imagined you all spread out on his desk for him. Not after hearing the fucking wet between your legs as you frantically tried to cum when he told you to. 
Not after you did cum for him. 
“Mr. Park–” You chime through his door, not quite noticing the way he stiffens in his seat. 
God, if you had called him that last night…
“Hm?” He composes himself by acting bored and uninterested in whatever papers you have held tightly against your chest. “What is it?”
“I got the statements back from our parent company, I think–”
“Great. Just set them down on my desk.” He cuts you off, patting his desk before hoping you get the fuck out of his office before he ends up breaking office rule number one.
What is office rule number one, you might ask? Never fuck a co-worker. What’s worse is that you’re not his fucking co worker. You’re his employee.
You raise a brow at his demeanor this morning. The usual not-so-up-tight Sunghoon appearing far too distracted today compared to usual. Most mornings, he’ll at least give you a smile and a “thank you.” 
“Is there anything I can get for you?” You ask with concern in your voice.
Sunghoon pauses every thought in his head as he looks at you. Narrowing his eyes and wondering if maybe he’s just overreacting. Maybe he's mistaken and that girl from last night isn’t you at all. After all, there’s plenty of people with the same pitch in their voice. She didn’t even turn on her camera after all, and she gave him a different name anyway. 
Maybe he just wishes it was you. 
“No, I’m fine–” He says, mistakenly calling out the fake name rather than your actual name. 
You miss the way his eyes widen for a split second before correcting himself to your real name. 
“Ah, my apologies. Got a little tongue tied.” 
You stand there in shock. No way in hell he just called you by the name you spoofed to a cam-boy last night. Coincidences can be so weird, and being called that hit you a little too close to home. 
It feels awkward in the room now and both of you play it off as a genuine mistake. Though, to you, it has to be a genuine tongue-tied version of your name. Sunghoon couldn’t possibly know about that.
You give him a nervous chuckle as you wave yourself off and out of the room with a small “It’s okay, you know where I am if you need anything.”
What he needs is to watch his fucking mouth. What he needs is to stop thinking about how you just reacted to being called that. What he needs is to pretend that none of this is happening and do his goddamn work. 
And he tries. He really does. Unfortunately, his eyes go from blurs of numbers and words on spreadsheets to the window of his office. Just outside of it. You.
How is he supposed to focus after kind of, accidentally, practically fucking you? Sure, he never touched you but…it really was you. The way you reacted to that name was so telling, and he can’t help but actually check you out now. 
You, with that body. You got off to him, with those legs of your spread out while staring into a screen. All alone, listening to his voice, moaning for him…and now you’re just sitting there in your business casual outfit like he’s not unintentionally getting hard. 
So, he avoids you. At all fucking costs, he avoids you. 
You get up from your desk? So does he, making sure that if you start coming his way, he’s walking out and in the opposite direction. You send him an email? Out of office, despite clearly sitting at his desk. You call his phone to ask a question? He forwards you to his current assistant. 
And this happens for days. To the point you know that promotion is slipping from your fingers. 
Naturally, you’re frustrated with the office-dynamic. After all, you’ve heard rumors of picking favorites. You thought you were one of them, but it appears that Sunghoon may just decide to try and beg his current assistant to stay with bribes of double pay. 
You’re so frustrated actually. Leaving work yet again with no good-byes from the boss who used to show appreciation for how hard you worked. He’s colder than usual, he’s stiffer than usual, he’s– a fucking asshole these days.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Ping! 
Sunghoon stares at his secret email in disbelief. 
NEW REQUEST FROM: [your email/username] $500 PENDING.  FULL SERVICE. Requester note: work has been hard lately, will you help me de-stress for a little while?  [ACCEPT REQUEST]   [DECLINE REQUEST]
Sunghoon hovers over the decline button for a solid thirty seconds as he burns a hole through his screen. Work has been hard for you lately, huh? Has it now?
Try being him. 
He shifts his mouse to the accept button, wondering if he even needs that extra five hundred dollars. Those play-time funds...just to suffer more at work? Just to suddenly have the need randomly throughout his day to make you moan for him? Just to have the sounds of your pretty voice echoing in his head more and more the longer he ignores you? 
His finger clicks, hitting the accept button as he lets out an exasperated sigh. 
Why did he just do that?
Wait. 
Maybe this will help him get through the work weeks. Fucking you through words alone in secret, never telling you who he is, always letting you use him even if it’s just through audio and visual stimulation. 
After all, if you found out who ServiceKing is, you very well may quit. Hell, you might get him fired. Fuck.
This is dangerous. 
Yet, he feels the excitement in his gut before it even hits his cock as the clock ticks. He gets to hear you again soon, you get to watch him cum again soon, he–oh, he’s so turned on right now just thinking about it.
And the time comes too slowly for his liking. He feels as if he’s been edged by the time the two of you enter the call and he’s immediately turning his camera on. 
“Ah, look who it is,” Sunghoon starts, already positioning himself with a raging hard cock on the screen. “Had me wondering if you’d come back to me.”
You don’t know why your cheeks heat up, but the feeling in your gut is miles better than the frustration and anxiety that you felt throughout the day. 
“I was wondering the same thing,” You speak into the mic meekly, hiding your face despite knowing he can’t see it. “I just need to get my mind off of stuff for a little while.” 
“Oh yeah?” Sunghoon chuckles into the mic, his face perfectly hidden. “Wanna give me some context? Maybe I can use some of the information for–”
“God.” You immediately start, shutting the man up on the other side of the screen in an accidental frustration-dump. This is not what you paid him for, but you still appreciate the space to release your brain before, well, your cum. “My fucking boss.”
Sunghoon’s ears perk up, lazily stroking himself as you continue with a frantic voice. 
“I swear he just flipped on me. I thought I was doing so good, I thought I was gonna get that new position, but now he’s just ignoring me and treating me like some temp or something.” 
Sunghoon hums lowly, listening intently to the way you bring him into conversation to a man that…unfortunately, is that very same boss.
“Hmm, that’s interesting.” Sunghoon continues palming himself as he soothes you through your frustrations. “Your boss isn’t praising you.” 
You pause, feeling a ping in your gut. 
“If I were him, I’d praise you every day–” Sunghoon softens his voice. “Every night.”
“Oh…” You listen to his words, feeling your frustration melt out of you in an instant as you now focus on the way his cock twitches through the screen. 
“Wouldn’t let you go a second without thinking of how good I am to you.” He continues, both hyping himself and degrading his day-time self. “If I were your boss–”
You interrupt his words with a very quiet groan, he fucking heard it.
“Mm, you like that?” He smiles to himself, gripping the base of his cock and thrusting up to show the full size to you. “The thought of me being your boss? Liking you a little too much?”
You hum. Not that you’ve ever thought about it too deeply, but now that he’s said it, praising you, putting down your actual boss, telling you what he’d do if he were him? 
You guess, for tonight anyway, you’re into it. 
“What’s his name, babe?” Sunghoon asks, wondering if you’ll actually out his name to a stranger. 
“Park Sunghoon.” You expose him instantly, full name and all, even with a bit of bite in your voice. 
“Oh, yeah?” He draws back, jerking his hand up once. “Well, I’d fuck you better than Park Sunghoon.” 
You smile at the thought, imagining yourself with more power than what your boss has. Like you’re his boss, you’re the one dangling a promotion just out of reach before giving it to someone else. 
“See this?” The man on the screen grunts out to you, pulling your attention back to him by fucking tight thrusts into his fist. “Watch me, baby, get a good look.”
And you do watch. Intensely, you stare at his big cock, the head of it darkened and leaking with each pass of his hand. You’re not even touching yourself at this point, but it’s like you can feel the force of it.
“Now, I need you to open those legs for me.” He instructs you. 
You do as he says much like before, letting your legs fall open but not yet letting yourself touch. You still sigh at the movement, your panties shifting as move moved is enough to make you want to hump your hips up. 
“Turn on your camera.”
Silence. Your ears ring momentarily at the words as you immediately close your legs.
“What?” You ask in a higher-pitched tone than usual. “I requested for no c-”
“No.” Sunghoon mutters, shifting his position to lean towards the microphone and whispering now. “You do as I say.” 
He hears you huff at his words, but he also hears the shifting around on your end. 
“I want to see that pussy open for me.” He continues in that same low-rumbled voice. “I want to see what your boss is missing out on.”
You don’t know what it is about this situation that turns your discomfort into pure, rushing arousal. Never in your life have you ever considered fucking yourself on camera, especially after paying someone else to do it for you, yet– 
“Do I have to show you my face?” You ask quietly, already finding the lower-face-mask to put on, just to be safe in case you lose your composure and accidentally reveal yourself. 
“No,” Sunghoon assures you through a deep breath. “I already told you what I want to see.”
More silence save for the shuffling he still hears on your end. 
“Open your legs and turn it on.” He encourages you now, keeping his hand still on himself as he waits to see if you’ll actually do it.
And…
Oh fuck.
“There she is.” Sunghoon hums, trying to keep his composure at the way you give him access. Honestly, he didn’t think you would, but you do, and all he can do is lay himself back again, staring straight at the image of you. 
Your face is out of frame much like he is but this is the first time he’s ever seen you with so little clothing on. No bra, thin tank top, no shorts or pants, just panties. It takes everything in him not to moan out at the image. 
After all, it’s confirmed to be you. 
Fuck, that’s you right there. 
“Already so wet too?” Sunghoon groans now, focusing on that spot between your legs, probably so slippery and warm. 
You’re very shy though, not moving much better yet speaking as this faceless man takes in your image. You feel awkward, but still turned on despite squeezing your legs together and hiding that spot from him. 
“Oh, baby–” He coos out in a way that makes it seem as though he was endeared by that. “That’s not going to work.”
You’re more focused on your embarrassment than you are on the way his cock leaks and pours pre-cum at the image he’s witnessing. 
“How am I supposed to show you how much better I’d take care of you?” He continues, reverting back to the same role play from before. “I bet Sunghoon wouldn’t want to bury his tongue in you like I would.”
Your legs fall open at the words, and he can see the way you thrust up just slightly. 
“That’s it, you need someone to touch you, don’t you?” He continues, watching you intensely. “Need someone to lick that pretty pussy?”
You nod, once again forgetting that he can’t see you do it before you finally speak.
“Please.”
His moan after hearing you seems far more intense than the first time you did this with him. In fact, he appears entirely focused on you. Role playing in some way but he's acting…more real than last time too. 
“You deserve some love for all that hard work.” He says to you, encouraging you to keep talking for him. “Play with yourself, go on. You need it.”
You follow his instructions on instinct, as if your body truly does need the release. 
“Feel it– not too hard, just graze over your panties.”
Ah, still you listen, holding your breath at each feather-light touch you give to yourself per his request. 
And he watches. Hyper-focused on the way that darkened spot on your panties grows bigger and bigger. So wet for him doing exactly what he wishes he could do for you come tomorrow morning. 
“Your other hand babe, slowly, lift your shirt and–”
He doesn’t even have to keep instructing you. You do exactly as he wanted, lifting your shirt gently before playing with your own nipples, still lightly grazing your fingers over your swollen clit that’s restricted by your panties. 
You moan quietly at the feeling, wishing so much that it doesn’t have to be your hands doing this. 
“That feels good, doesn’t it?” Sunghoon hums, working his palm against his own length, gentle, barely grazing it. “Now, look at me.”
You draw your eyes forward, the image of him already arousing from before, but now? Why is he so much hotter now? As if the screen is nothing but a window into his bedroom. 
“You see how hard I am right now?” You can hear the smile in his voice as you continue to work yourself up to near-sensitivity. “Never been this hard for anyone else.”
Oh, that’s bullshit. He does this as a job. He’s just sweet talking to you for sure. 
“Been thinking about you since the first time you booked me.” He continues, keeping the touches light and making sure you don’t press on yourself too hard either. “Was hard all week for you.”
Okay, yeah, maybe you are a little too into praise. Lie or not, it’s exactly what you need to hear right now. 
“You gonna be just as good for me tonight too?” Sunghoon hums, tightening his grip. “You’re going to push your panties to the side and show me that you missed me too, right?” 
Yes. The light touching has been nothing but torture at this point, wanting so badly to be told to do more. For yourself, for him. 
You barely recognize how your embarrassment leaves your body when you stretch your panties to the side, letting him see how they stick to you only to unfold in a glistening mess for him. 
“Messy, messy, messy.” Sunghoon moans, struggling so hard by now not to fuck his fist straight to orgasm. But no, he can’t ruin this moment. 
That’s your pussy, looking so wet and tight, so needy. 
“Gently, open up for me.” Sunghoon groans lowly, watching so closely the way you spread open your lips for him, the hole pulsing and shining in all that wet he wishes he could lick up. 
Never in his life has he ever wanted to bury his tongue into someone this badly. Goddamn, he’s near obsessed with you at this moment. He loses composure.
“Fuck–” He seethes, feeling his cock twitch wildly against his hand. “I want you so bad.”
Those words feel more real to you than anything else. Virtual sex is one thing but to have a man blatantly moan those words to you as if he means them? As if he has never let it slip for any of his other scheduled calls?
“What’s the name of your boss again?” Sunghoon asks, pretending as if he forgot, just to hear you say it. 
He notes the way your pussy clenches through his words too, as if he can see the confusion not through your expression, but through your arousal alone. Asking you that turned of off.
“What’s his name, baby?” Sunghoon presses, offering an excuse. “I wanna know who it is that gave me this tonight.”
Alluding to the fact that the only reason you’re paying him is because your boss made you feel like you need release in some way. 
“Park-” You start, not wanting to deny his demands. “Sunghoon.”
“Ah, yeah.” Sunghoon holds his breath, closing his eyes briefly just to let that breathy voice sit in his mind before focusing back on you. “Two fingers babe, slide them in.”
God, you listen just as well as you do at work. He should have given you that promotion the day he saw your application. Even without seeing you do as your told in this situation, he already knew you were going to be getting that interview.
He listens to the way your cunt swallows up your fingers for him, so wet and needy. Swollen around the two digits as you slide them in with a breathy sigh. 
“Spread your fingers, open up.” 
You do, presenting your opened core to him without any shame at this point. Allowing him to look, wanting him to look.
“Now, say–” Sunghoon swallows around a lump in his throat. “Thank you Sunghoon.”
Your pussy pulses around your fingers, recoiling again at the name. 
“Say, Thank you Sunghoon, for all of this stress.” 
He continues, trying to encourage, adding another lie of an excuse just to get you to break. 
“Because, if it weren't for him, I wouldn’t be needing to take care of you like this, now would I?”
In your horny brain, it makes sense.
“Thank you–Aah–Sunghoon.” You moan, plunging your fingers into yourself without being told to do so, moaning out for the faceless man on the screen at your break in composure. 
“Again.” He instructs you, watching the way your legs shake through saying his own name. 
“Thank you Sunghoon–” You continue, as if the words are natural despite feeling intense irritation for the man. “Thank you–”
And, well, that very name you’re moaning is now also moaning. That little fake name you gave to him falls from his lips after you say it each time, fucking into his fist and hoping you’re watching, nearly unable to ask you to stick another finger into yourself.
Not needing to ask at all, apparently, because you do it yourself. You even bump your clit up against your wrist too. 
Shit. 
He needs you.
“Thank him for what?” Sunghoon starts to ask, feeling an orgasm approach far too quickly. 
“For making me come to you!” You answer him as if you’re frustrated, hips bounce up against your hand just to dig your fingers in deeper. 
“What else?” He asks now, forgetting what it is he should not be doing. 
“Hmm?” You answer in a drawn-out moan.
“Thank him for what else?” He repeats first, only to follow up with his own answer. “For giving you a reason to cum.”
“Yes!” You groan, now grinding your hips up and against your palm without relaxing back against the bed. Intentionally chasing as your eyes remain on him, watching him pull and tug so roughly. 
“So fucking pretty,” Sunghoon praises as he snaps his hips in time with his moving palm, eyes so tuned into you that... “Fuck–” He moans your name. “So pretty.”
And he didn’t realize it. Half expecting you to moan back for him, he’s still going as he watches you halt what you’re doing and cover yourself entirely.
“What did you just call me?” You ask in an out of breath voice. 
Sunghoon repeats your fake name to you, feeling the energy shift in an instant but still needing to chase the orgasm within him.
“No. You just called me–” You repeat your real name to him. 
“Ah, sorry babe, got a little tongue tied.” He tries to play it down, hand still moving, his voice still shaking through moans.
There’s a rush of anxiety within you as you stare at the screen though. There’s….no fucking way. It clicks in your head instantly at the excuse. An excuse you've heard before.
Given, you’ve never seen…him outside of a suit. The voice you hear doesn’t click in your head as Sunghoon’s either, considering he’s never a man of very many words. 
Instantly, you’re covering your camera with your hand, watching how the man on the screen spreads his legs out and drops his cock. Like he’s waiting, like he’s listening, wondering. Are you making a fool of yourself right now?
Are you misreading? 
He seems calm, and if it really is Sunghoon…surely he’d be disconnecting right now, right?
Why would he even be fucking himself on camera anyway? The guy makes bank! You’re the one who sees his pay checks, after all! 
Still, there’s a twisting in your gut as you ignore the way you still drip against your sheets. 
Very quietly, just to see, you work up the courage.
“Mr.Park?”
It’s silent for a few seconds as the man on the screen shifts, a blur of movement forcing you into a state of motion-sickness. 
You almost thought he was going to chuckle at you and ask if you were thinking about your boss rather than him. You almost thought he would use that to his advantage. 
You almost thought you were wrong, but– he disconnects the call just seconds later. 
A few more moments pass as you stare blankly at the screen, your phone vibrates as you receive an email with a refund of your five hundred dollars. 
And two hours later? Lying in your bed with anxiety in your gut, you get a text from none other than Park Sunghoon.
Mr.Park: We need to talk.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
there will be a part two!!! but also remember: please do not ask or demand that i write more if you 1.) won't reblog 2.) aren't even following me. anyway:
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scoobydoodean · 1 day
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I was wondering if you, as a Dean fan have opinions about the different writers? Mostly because I see a lot of Dean fans really strongly dislike Dabb for some reason and I don’t really understand why. I’ve never seen a concrete explanation beyond “he can’t write Dean/doesn’t understand Dean/actively hates Dean” but with no examples as to what he does that’s so bad. And I see this in every shipping lane. I don’t have a strong opinion about him as a writer one way or the other.
I'm exploring this more as I rewatch the show (currently on season 6) so I'll speak mainly from that perspective on my most recent thoughts. I am not a big fan of Dabb or Loflin, but have tried to be fair about things so far when talking through each episode. I am a fan of "Alpha and Omega"—it's my favorite finale (it's also... a finale for a season Carver started as showrunner? So I don't know what the implications are there as far as storyboarding). Also points for having demon Dean stab a guy through in 10.02.
I'll focus on the negatives you asked about in this post, but in the links you'll find me moving the narrative this way and that toward much more charitable readings... I think. (I do have a tag #dabb disk horse which you can either peruse or blacklist at your leisure). What I can tell you is something almost always strikes me as a off about Dabb/Loflin episodes so far in this rewatch in terms of character work.
Dabb/Loflin's first ever episode was 4.06 "Yellow Fever". In the aftermath, Kripke felt the need to release a definitive interpretation of their episode to the public, stating, "Dean is not a dick... he's a hero." The whole episode toyed with, to an extent, the idea that all the victims of the MotW were bullies. You can take this other directions—for example, queer meta, or meta about Sam as the real bully. However, the story a lot of fandom latched onto was that "Dean is a jerk and deserves to be humiliated and punished for that" which obviously didn't make Dean fans watching live in season 4 happy—and this theme of Jerk!Dean continues into their next episode, "After School Special", where they once again parallel Dean with a bully literally nicknamed "Dirk the Jerk" by Sam, and throw what I think is transparent shade at Kripke's issued statement from before the Christmas break (post here)... or maybe they mean to throw shade at the Dean fans who got angry. In this episode, they also make illusions to Dean wanting to have sex with barely legal high school cheerleaders, which also did not ingratiate them to Deanfans at the time. I said on my last rewatch, "In After School Special, Dean seems more unlike himself than any episode ever in the history of Supernatural up to this point" (post explaining that here). I carry similar sentiments about portions of 5.06 "I Believe The Children Are Our Future". Yes—I am aware of performing Dean meta. I just... feel like they try a little too hard. It feels hamfisted—desperate. To the point it doesn't feel like Dean anymore sometimes. In 5.06, they also have Dean (guy who is generally very protective of kids) suggest to Jesse that he'd be good to have in a fight???? I can see how they got there, but again—it just feels... off. The last episode I rewatched that they authored, 6.04 "Weekend At Bobby's", also leaves a bad taste in my mouth—not in what it's trying to do with Bobby or what it's trying to do on a meta level—but once again, with dialogue from Dean that just makes me think "he would not fucking say that" (post here). I think looking at all of these, you can probably see deangirl ire toward Dabb has a long history. It's been around as long as he's been around, whether he deserves as much ire as he gets or not.
I haven't circled back yet on this rewatch, but Dabb and Loflin also penned season 7's "The Girl Next Door"... do I need to say anything specific? Maybe I'll just link my entire #amy tag. What narrative did they want you to get from that episode? Who the fuck knows. And that's often the problem:
When you watch various episodes I've mentioned, you can work around to a meta that tells you something different than you might at first think the page conveys—something hidden and maybe contradictory. The thing is... you could also... not do that? And that wouldn't be so bad, except that sometimes the two narratives you can most easily grasp completely contradict each other. "After School Special" can be an episode that points to Sam's envy of Dean and John deep down and foreshadows Sam becoming a bully, but on a meta level, it also just as easily says Sam becoming a bully is somehow Dean's fault, and Sam is some poor captive baby. Dean is a creep and a bully and a cheater but we should all coddle him because he saw his mom die when he was a child and he's sooo sad. "Yellow Fever" can be a queer meta story and might also foreshadow approaching Bully!Sam in 4.14, but it also very much does call Dean a jerk (should we take that seriously? should we not?) and implies Dean should be punished for the outcome of three decades of reality-bending torture. Even if it's a queer meta underneath... it's just as easily one about how closeted men should be humiliated for cowardice or how being closeted turns you into an asshole.
Jumping way ahead, I have to mention 15.10 "The Hero's Journey" just because. Yes, it is full of jokes and Garth goodness, but also tries to sell you the story that nothing about Sam and Dean is real, to a degree that feels like you are being flipped the bird for ever watching this show. And again—you can make meta that it's all a ruse! But is it? Or is Dabb actually just telling you to go fuck yourself? Like he totally wasn't when, after the SPN finale when fans were Not Happy™️, he tweeted a sign reading, "Don't feed the baboons"? Yet again—we play into the motif of the "hero" who isn't a hero at all but some pathetic loser who deserves to be publicly humiliated, bookended with Dabb's opening episode in his opening season. I'm not saying that's what it is on purpose—but I am saying you can make these arguments easily, and that leaves me consistently annoyed with Dabb for being fucking sloppy and leaving me to deal with some of the most insufferable meta imaginable that carries little support outside of episodes written by Dabb or the Dabb/Loflin writing team.... Yes—I am in fact saying that Dabb and Loflin's hamfisted episodes (regardless of their intentions) are largely responsible for some of the most insufferable, loathesome fandom metas about Sam and Dean's relationship around.
Look at 5.16 "Dark Side Of The Moon", and 7.08 "Time for A Wedding!" and 8.14 "Trial and Error", 11.17 "Red Meat", and 15.20 "Carry On". Along with 4.13, while they might or might not say something deeper or contradictory on a meta level, on a surface level, every single one of these episodes sows the narrative that Dean is needy and clingy and needs Sam more than Sam needs him—something I intensely disagree with for a multitude of reasons... but I'll just link this. Many of these episodes also follow a surface level narrative of "normal life obsessed Sam" (and here I'll link my entire #sam the hunter tag and #in which sam is not a helpless little waif with his hands cast over his eyes being carried along by the tides of the immutable sea). When I look at this episode list, I also don't find it at all difficult to believe that Dabb wanted Dean to die in the finale. There is nothing at all shocking about that. And yes—you can argue he's pointing to the opposite—that this fate should be subverted and that's what makes 15.20 the dark ending, but I think you can just as easily argue that yes it's a dark ending and yes Dabb has always dreamed of this ending. A "tragic" ending where Dean dies and Sam goes on to have a white picket fence... while also leaving you little hints along the way that maybe it's all a big ruse because how could he not? He never has to explain anything. Someone else will pick up the story and make it make sense. He's already fucked off to piss all over fans of Resident Evil.
That said, when I mention what I feel is off character work, I mainly mention Dabb/Loflin episodes from my recent rewatch, which suffer from the two of them being newer to the series (coming onto the writing team in season 4) and also leave questions about whether, perhaps, they had conflicting ideas about characterization. Was Dabb the one penning these lines? Was it Loflin? Was it both? Did they trade out who took the lead? I didn't really say anything negative about "Sam, Interrupted" or "Jump the Shark"... (though "Sam, Interrupted" also calls Dean "codependent") who wrote those? Is it possible that the messiness of the meta comes down to two writers at war? I have to imagine though, that they got along, or else they wouldn't have written together for four fucking years. If they didn't get along...? My mind always comes back to their first solo episodes, right after splitting up in season 8. Dabb's first solo episode is "Hunteri Heroici"—the only episode to lend any perspective to season 8 Sam's reasons for abandoning everyone—paralleling him checking out with Fred's catatonia, which Sam has to save Fred from. It is the only episode that lends Sam sympathy in the early part of the season. He follows it up with "Trial and Error"—where Sam promises to save Dean from suicidal thoughts. Loflin's first solo episode is what I would regard as the most scathing solo episode commentary on Sam in the entire series—"Citizen Fang". Then he writes again right after Dabb's "Trial and Error"—penning "Remember The Titans" where Sam tells Dean to get over the promise Sam so passionately made in Dabb's episode and face reality.
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This is why we're exploring this rewatch.
DISCLAIMER: Now I just devolve into bitching because I'm writing at 3AM. Proceed at your own risk.
It seems like these days, everyone demands an explanation for disliking Dabb (something about some sort of destiel battle... I don't know what that flamewar is and I don't give a damn tbqh.) I guess I've just been wondering what's actually so great about him. Because it feels like people have overcorrected to basically acting like he's god's greatest gift to mankind. People point to how meta his episodes can be, but I think other writers easily best him on that front on multiple occasions (particularly enjoyed by me so far on this rewatch: 3.10 "Dream A Little Dream Of Me", 4.04 "Monster Movie", 4.12 "Criss Angel Is A Douchebag"), and without leaving their meaning so up in the air that you don't even know what the hell they were actually trying to tell you because there are two different completely incongruous narratives you could just as justifiably claim were the intended one. Some people may find that duality praise-worthy. I don't. I find it sloppy—and when I add in mediocre character work, I just land on the side of him being, at the very best, mid.
Add him in as showrunner, you have... at least two of my least favorite seasons (13 and 15). Add that he's a one-trick pony in terms of the Sam and Dean conflicts mentioned above that he continuously rehashes rather than come up with anything new or fresh, and the same conflicts between Dean and Cas being played out until they both die (shut UP I'm not talking about canon destiel as the alternative—I am literally just asking for more diverse conflicts). I can't say I understand what I''m supposed to find so impressive.
(Before anyone so much as breathes this near me, Berens also sucks and I am going to tear off your nose hairs if you start bringing him up as if disliking Dabb for some reason means wearing rose colored glasses about Berens. Berens can eat a whole cactus raw over "The Trap" alone.)
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lietomevpr · 2 days
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just keep swimming - ART DONALDSON! short blurb
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description- ever since y/n moved in to a new house with a pool, the caretaking of the pool started to take a toll on their schedule and something had to change. their pool company offers to send a pool boy out for maintenance. unfortunately for y/n, he’s blonde and SUCH a charmer. a universe where art probably never went to summer tennis tournaments and instead was a gorgeous pool boy!
warnings- 18+ (vulgar language) but really just so much flirting!! i'll decide later if I want to write smut if you all like this so far :)
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Summer came around again like clockwork. I can tell by the way the sun torches the pavement and the bugs fly around you no matter where you are. I had just moved in about half a year ago, and unpacking has been slow. Usually my Saturday afternoons are for cleaning and organizing, and even clad in shorts and a tee shirt with my hair tied up, I was still sweating. On my pathway to the kitchen, I pass my sliding door window out to the backyard. All I see is my covered up, likely hideous underneath, swimming pool. Annoyance etched my features. I've been avoiding the pool because I just got a new job as well and my schedule has been busier than I ever imagined it being. The idea of chopping off the time to take care of the pool myself this summer seemed like such a hassle. Setting my laundry basket down with a plop, I look up the nearest pool service company and give them a quick call. The representative assured me they’d send out one or two “fellas” out tomorrow, as the gruff old man told me during our conversation. I’ve been swimming all my life. My parents taught me to swim really young, and I continued competitively throughout college. I am as much fish as I am human. It was only natural that when I searched for my own place at 25, I wanted a pool to continue my love for the activity. However, the relief that flew through me when the call was finished was enough to allow me to move to the next room to clean.
THE NEXT DAY was somehow even hotter, if it was possible. Once showered and dressed for the days events, I was making my lunch and watching my comfort show when there was a knock on the door.
“Oh great, those must be the pool cleaners", I thought to myself.
Giving a quick glance at my appearance, I was satisfied with opening the door. Smooth, shaved legs, blue denim shorts, and a yellow tank top with sandals seemed to be appropriate for guests in the back yard to me. Upon opening the door, there are two older aged gentleman a decade or so older than me.
“Hello Ma'am! We’re Marcus and Devin and uh…”
One turns around with eyes squinted from the sun and gestures back to the service van where there is a figure messing around in the trunk with heavy equipment or something.
“That’s Art back there in the van, new intern.” Says Marcus, who I now can see the name tag of.
“Well alrighty! Thanks so much for coming, let me show you out back and assess the damage.” I take them out through the side yard and show them the monstrosity of a chore I've been putting off.
The two gentleman eventually wrestle the pool cover off and look around to see what needs to be done. They're talking amongst themselves, and hopefully it's not too much of a big project. Having an in ground pool was a luxury and I knew it. Thats why I was so appreciative of them coming out. They told me in general how much it was gonna cost, and said they’re ready to start whenever the intern made his way on over.
“Well I will leave you guys to it, knock if you need anything! In a hour or so I might bring out some lemonade for you all, it’s so hot!” I say, shooting them a smile. They beam appreciatively and I set for inside.
Busying myself while people were making loud, machine sounds in my back yard was harder than I thought. I liked to watch it all get done. But in general, watching people out of the window was frowned upon. After I finished eating my sandwich, I decided the best use of my time would be to just veg out in the living room. After roughly three or four episodes of a show pass, I figure it's time to make my signature lemonade and bring it out to them. These gentleman won't know what hit them. I've been complimented on my lemonade recipe before, so I was excited to see the final opinion. Setting four glasses on a wooden tray, I make my way out of the front door and around the side yard, as to not walk right up into their space by using the sliding door. I don't get very far into my backyard before I almost drop the tray of lemonade because I collided abruptly with a body. A warm one. Pool company shirt drenched in sweat, I looked up at the figure obstructing my path. I was met with someone roughly around my age, maybe a year or two younger. A simply gorgeous man, one of paler complexion, but sporting a full, fluffy head of blonde hair. So bright it makes the sun look like a dying flashlight. His eyes were so breathtaking and his lips looked so soft and pink, he was a sight to be had. When he smiled at me before he opened his mouth to apologize, that was even brighter. I step back and laugh sheepishly.
"I am so sorry!" That barely gets out out my mouth because this beautiful pool man standing before me says,
"Holy shit, I am so sorry are you okay?".
He backs up, and gives me a once over. Something that was probably just him making sure I wasn't hurt or covered in ice cold lemonade. But the once over brought out some sort of stirring in me, and I questioned if my outfit was actually okay or not because now it mattered that the man in front of me liked what he saw. The genuine concern in his voice was refreshing to hear though, so I recover from the initial embarrassment.
“Yeah I’m fine, it’s alright! I'm Y/N, Y/L/N, I own the place.” My cheeks blush because now I’ve bumped into the most beautiful man and he’s here to clean my pool. It almost looks like he smirks at my coloration. But it could've been the sun's glare playing tricks on me.
“Lovely pool you got out there ma’am. And yard too while we’re at it.” He wipes the sweat from his forehead with his forearm and sticks that same arm out to shake. Watching a sweaty hardworking man was one of my favorite past times, and the fact that he used the same hand made me insanely hot in the face. His hands in mine feel firm, but respectful.
“I’m... uh, Art Donaldson, by the way. Im the…”
“The intern?” I tease.
He gives a look of panic when he whips his head around and shouts to his older crew mates.
“I told you guys to stop introducing me like that!”
I can hear deep chuckling somewhere in my backyard and I smile at the interaction between the three gentlemen. Art spins back around to me, laughs, and rolls his eyes.
“Sorry about those guys. They mean well of course. I think they’re just jealous of my amazing pool skills. What I was going to say, is that I’m the person who’s going to be doing routine checks once we clean it out completely. Every three weeks I come back without my two friends over there, and I deep clean and treat the water. Or more often, if you want to upgrade your plan. ”
These words weighed on me. This man would be in my back yard by himself and I had the option to make it more often? I would be lying if I said I wasn’t considering it. But having him around so often would be a personal distraction right?
“Well thanks for being my pool cleaner I really appreciate it. I love to swim but I’ve just been so busy lately and I haven’t had the time to maintain it.” I tell the guy, hopefully not looking as upset as I really feel. He looks at me in a way I can’t decipher.
“Don’t worry about it you did the right thing calling us.” He says, offering a stunning smile. Not sure where to go from there, his eyes shoot anywhere but mine it seems, and lands on the lemonade tray in my hand.
“Oh my god please tell me that is for us I am sweating like a dog out here.”
He leans his head over and shakes his blonde curly hair that I am already fond of and I watch as the droplets drip down on my patio brick. My throat hitches at the strange sexiness of the action and I awkwardly cough it out and hand him a glass.
“My speciality! Enjoy.”
He basically chugs it and leaves a cliche and comical "Ahh", after the sip.
"Thank you, it's amazing", he says out of breath from the gigantic sip he took and grins.
"It's just so hot out here ya know?", he spoke softly, lolling his head to the side and glancing up and down at me with a smile that punched me in the gut. Whether he's talking about me or the weather was really up to debate with the look he gave me.
Art looks down at his lemonade, and back at me. Well, back at my tits it feels like.
"Matches your tank top", he says nonchalantly
Then Art grabs the tray from my hands, something I wasn't expecting. When the exchange happens, our fingers brush over one another's. We snap our heads up at the same time and look at each other. The electric jolt of his touch and the comment about my choice in clothing made my brain spin. He smiled to himself, like I wasn't supposed to see that one.
"Let me take these to them for you. See you around Y/N." He turns around but doesn't get far before shouting,
"LEMONADE! GET YOUR FRESH LEMONADE!"
I spin around to go back inside but not before laughing at this energetic, and playful man romping around my yard to give his coworkers my lemonade.
An hour goes by and now that I know what Art looks like, the itch to look out the window was increasingly difficult to resist. Eventually I cave and pull back the curtains slightly and look down at the back yard from my bedroom window and see them out there, standing on the perimeter of the hollow ground. They're almost finished actually, just about ready to turn the water pump on if I had any guess. I spot Art easily, and watch as he lifts up a heavy trailer cart of material away from the pool and to what I assume is the front yard to take to the van. He stops his trek and drops his cart and though I can't hear him too well from the upper floor, it seems as if he lets out an expletive.
"FUCK it's hot." It sounds like.
In a matter of milliseconds, Art's company shirt gets tore off and all that's left is a devastatingly handsome body, covered in sweat from working in the conditions. He looks like can use a dip in the pool himself he's so hot. Nothing could've prepared me for seeing him shirtless in my back yard, but yet here we were. It was bordering on ogling at this point, but the abs to blonde hair ratio nearly made me collapse. I guess I picked the right time to do this because Art looks up at the window AS IF he knew I was watching. His face brightens up at the sight of me, sees where my eyes landed and smiles to himself. Then waves to me with the shirt in hand and I wave shyly back and watch the man return to his journey with the cart of heavy things. I start to tear my eyes away from the window and retreat, pretending I wasn't checking out the man who will be cleaning my pool for the next short while. But not before noticing a boyish smirk placed on his lips as he turns out of vision. Having a beautiful pool boy in my yard was going to be a lot harder than I think I would ever anticipate.
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let me know what you guys think! i wrote it for fluffy long hair art but the gif i chose matched the hot summer day and sweat aspect of this blurb.
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lietomevpr
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thekittyokat · 8 days
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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plaid-maniac · 1 year
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Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#Phoenix Wright#not specifically ship so I won’t tag it but kinda ship if you get it#the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama#and honestly they like miles Edgeworth’s cases cause ‘hey I know that guy’#but of course they don’t like go up and talk to him cause they weren’t really that close and he left kinda abruptly#cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do#course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch#together and play superhero’s during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good#what if one day the classmate was like ‘maybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and-#-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldn’t get super gay and awkward-#-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.’#god what would happen and Edgeworth v state?#the classmate would probably leave the third day like ‘I am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.’#and like they wouldn’t be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation???#‘hey I know you don’t remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to-#-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?’
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redbootsindoriath · 26 days
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Apparently in my absence this post had its 1000-notes-iversary.
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This time we get to see the culprit responsible for ruining our heroes' lives as well.
I've really missed you guys, by the way. I know I've said that already, but I'm serious. Once or twice this year I've been right on the brink of coming back but schedule stuff always keeps me from letting myself commit to that again, and that in turn has kept me from posting anything at all. But I've been in an unexpected drawing mood lately and so if I can get enough stuff to set up a queue we might pretend I'm back for a month or so sometime this year. Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see. No promises though. That's why I'm hiding this paragraph under the cut.
Transcription:
[Beren:] "Uhhh...barkeep...I think he's had enough now..." [Tolkien:] "No, I don't think he has...!"
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finniestoncrane · 10 months
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said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol
#A RANT IN THE TAGS MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALISE I AM WRITING THIS WARNING RETROSPECTIVELY#£50 to feel like never trying to speak to anyone again or forge any connections THANKS RUTH#Ruth remember when I said that every friendship I’ve had I’ve never truly known if it’s a friendship or if it’s one sided#remember when I told you that my friend groups always had people who had a favourite and I was never the favourite#remember when I told you that several friend groups have disbanded but not really they actually just made new spaces without me?#remember that? remember my trauma? remember?#because I DO!!!#I was not born to have friends I don’t think#I can’t even make friends with other autistic people or other weird people or other queer people#I don’t even think I could make friends with a clone of myself#this is so guy wrenchingly isolating lol#like girl what do you want from me? keep everyone at arms length like I used to?#try not to let myself get attached to people in case they decide they don’t want to be close to me anymore?#please it is not great advice Ruth#THE WORAT PART is that I literally was like ‘I don’t message too much because I’m overbearing’#and she asked where the proof was#and all I had was the complete dissolving of any relationship where I tried or tried too hard#so now I’m left in this confusing space of do I message too much or not enough because I have no happy medium#and she knows SHE KNOWS I also have energy issues and executive dysfunction stuff going on#and I know she is just trying to help and get me to think about this stuff#but it was just not the time lmao#finnie shouts into the void
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fleshdyke · 2 months
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#csa warning for tags#ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh#completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i#also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad#like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man#was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to#'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background#all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or#whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important#i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting#that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently#wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all.#and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head#like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have#to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it.#bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit#i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus#an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually#harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all#bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid.#and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is#but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core.#i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways#rambles#vent
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earlgreybocchan · 2 months
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ALSO adding on to my last post I have seen a bunch of people around all social media say things about the state of shoujo anime in recent years all along the lines of saying there are less shoujo anime bc women's perspectives and stories are viewed as less profitable than shounen and that's probably not untrue in terms of executive's reasoning but also every time there is a shoujo anime made literally all I ever see people talk about are the guy romantic partners and if anyone says anything about liking the woman main character it's always through the filter of saying things like aww the guy loves her so much and it's like. The girls on the shows aren't talking to each other about anything but men the audience isn't talking about anything but men etc. You want women's perspectives. But the only perspective you want is to only keep talking about liking men.
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twilightarcade · 22 days
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that's a weird dog
#wordstag#notwordswordstag#neptune wgen it's being normal about that eclipse thing#drawn at late oh clock it's like 2am right now . I think I'm gonna darken the eyes in the morning#or I won't. You never know with this guy.#anyhow I'm in bed now and I'm sooooo cozy.#ok so [mr beasts] this drawing was a 'let's use all the brushes in the sketching section & see what happens' thing#I think we're going 2 do another one w/ a smaller canvas size because I wanna . Try something. & this canvas was way too big#(<-I've been using the same canvas 4 like . Ages. And some IDIOT refuses 2 just move the sketches over(#literally whoever invented patterns on clothing should go explode . Do you have any clue#it's ok though . Fun exercise in whatever it's called. Perspective. If it was evil. ( I am failing the exercise)#ummmmmmm I thibk that's all. Spent way longer on this than I meant to. But the REAL criminal here was anzu because#That was supposed 2 be a warm up. Of sorts. I don't really do warm ups much if I'm going 2 be honest#trying 2 get into the habit but me drawing is more like . I'm going to draw 5 things in one sitting take it or leave it#ok guess who just . Fixed it.#I could point out like a million other things wrong but I'm not going to [smug cat picture] I'll leave that up to your imagination#ok umm how many tags is that . Not enough ? I want 2 do those whatever u wanna call those things again#yyou know. Peeks in my inbox.#ddude I might want to uh. I might want to crop this thing.#landscape is fun and all but seriously I can't#whatever. Officially a tomorrow me issue. Guess who's headed to sleep baby.#tomorrow neptune here I ended up cropping it after all.cod bleAmerica.ca.#anyhow I don't think I mentioned the . The Animal?
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lgbtlunaverse · 11 months
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Could someone tell me where the interpretation that, in book canon, the promotion Nie Mingjue gives Meng Yao made Meng Yao's life worse than it was before, came from?
I have seen that claim made multiple times now and I've looked at the text over and over trying to see where the basis for it is and I. Can't find it? Don't get me wrong, it absolutely spells out that it does not and cannot fix everything for Meng Yao, but the idea that it was actively bad for him?
Lacking other evidence, I kind of have to assume that it comes from cql canon being sort of projected backwards onto book canon. In cql canon, meng yao is suffering active and explicit bullying and abuse from the captain while under the nie, and does so because the capain believes he has risen above his station via nmj's promotion of him. (In book canon this... isn't happening. It happens with the captain in Langya instead) However, in cql canon he has also been with the nie for years and is openly close to both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huasiang, whereas in book canon he has only been working with nie mingjue for a few months (though has, in that time, apparently become close enough to him for Lan Xichen to explicitly state Meng Yao is able to calm nmj down in ways no one else can? Ofc he does this... Right after that stops being true. But. Food for thought. Not what this post is about tho.) So, if you project the much more explicit abuse from the nie sect captain in cql back on novel jgy who has a presumably much less stable position in the sect overall you get... a meng yao for whom the promotion only means a bigger target on his back and virtually no protection from nmj, who we must assume he can't trust to talk to his about because he never mentions it. (This also explicitly violates book canon when it comes to meng yao's general behaviour, we'll talk about that in a sec)
And look. We all do frankencanon in this house. I get it. And for fanfiction that is very fun. But for a serious reading of the character, his situation, and the actions that lead from that this... doesn't make much sense, in my opinion.
So. Why is that? Why did I say this was out of character for the novel? Because Meng yao spoke up about the jin captain mistreating him. Multiple times! It's just that none of it mattered because no one cared to listen to him. This is a pretty important line for his character because it flatly shows that meng yao is not and has never seen murder as something trivial. He's not trigger happy. He will only do it if he sees no other way out that doesn't end in himself being seriously harmed. (Whether he's right or justified in these cases is not the point of this post.)
If anything remotely similar was happening in the Nie sect, he would have said so. Cql Meng Yao doesn't do this because cql Meng Yao is a different character, and also the plot wouldn't work if he did. Cql Nie Mingjue, by extension, comes off as a fundamentally less trustworthy figure in cql Meng Yao's life because apparently for whatever reason, he cannot be trusted with the information that the deputy he has already publicly defended is still being harassed, and doesn't notice even when it is really blatant. The assumtpion the audience is given is that, like a middle schooler getting the principal involved when being bullied, it would only make the harassment more viscious.
This... actually has a somewhat solid basis in the book. Because after nmj yells at the bullies in question Wei Wuxian says this.
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And it is important to keep in mind that this is Wei Wuxian saying this. Not Meng Yao, not an omniscient narrator. Wei wuxian is drawing on his own experiences, likely from the Jiang family, to conclude that if someone is angry at you and thwarted by someone defending you, this generally does not make them less angry at you.
This is leaving out two crucial things, though.
Firstly, this worry isn't about the promotion at all.
The promotion hasn't even been brought up. In the novel it doesn't ctually happen immediately, it takes another few battles where meng yao continues to do his job well and nie mingjue continues praising him for him to eventually go "yeah, you deserve a raise."
This is another aspect that is being projected from cql canon onto book canon I presume, because it does happen quite quickly there, and it's a throwaway line in the books so it's easy to miss. I can't be mad about anyone forgetting the difference, but it is important to mention for this particular analysis.
Which is the second point: change in status
Wei Wuxian couldn't exactly change status within the Jiang family. (And if he could, that would just fuel rumours that he was jfm's bastard even more and make madam yu even angrier at him, etc etc.)
This isn't comparable to Meng Yao. The worry Wei Wuxian is talking about is explitly about Nie Mingjue's initial very loud defense of him. Before he has any idea Nie Mingjue is going to promote him.
Promoting him would likely decrease his chances of cultivators coming after him because now he was in a higher standing in the sect than they were. If applied to that earlier metaphor of middle school bullying it's like if the bullied kid suddenly got hired as a teacher. Which. Doesn't work with the metaphor at all. Touché. But what I am trying to say is that any payback they would have planned for him relied on the fact that they could make sure that Nie Mingjue wasn't going to be within very convenient earshot a second time, and as a random disciple Meng Yao couldn't just go complain to him every time.
But as his right hand man? Who spends most of his time working directly alongside him? Lmao. Good luck. Oh, sure, it is very likely that they feel offended a son of a whore has been raised in status above them, and many will continue to do so as jgy rises through cultivation society (in fact, Wei Wuxian's observations are absolutely on point for how Madam Jin will be treating jgy later on). But as we can also see from the way jgy is treated and how he treats others throughout the story: you can be upset all you want, but if that person is higher than you in status there's jack shit you can do about it.
If I am correct and Wei Wuxian is basing this on his experiences with the Jiang family, it makes sense why he'd miss this. Madam Yu gets to be way angrier at Jiang Fengmian as his wife than some random disciples can be at Nie Mingjue. Insulting Meng Yao, suggesting that he didn't deserve his promotion or that he earned it through less than proper means (you know who is mother is) is also an insult to Nie Mingjue and the way he chooses to run his sect. They can't do that.
Another thing I see brought up in this regard would be the tea scene. There may be no explicit harassment like in the show, but cultivators still don't respect him! The disrespect is just quieter and more subtle.
Tiny detail: these are actually not Nie cultivators
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They're cultivators Lan Xichen is escorting with him, making a pitstop in heijan.
The book confirms this by basically outright stating that this is the first time they see his face, and recognize him as Jin Guangshan's bastard son.
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Now, just because there is no proof that it happened doesn't mean it definitely never happened. Mdzs is a novel that often leaves stuff out or up to interpretation. Similar stuff to the tea situtation could very well be happening in the background. But I do think it is pretty significant that there is no mention whatsoever of Meng Yao having any negative treatment from Nie cultivators betwen him and Nie Mingjue meeting and him executing them while spying for Wen Ruohan, and the most we get is Wei Wuxian's personal speculation, after which he immediately goes to wax poetic about how surprised he is that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are getting along super well.
And, again, novel Meng Yao would have said something. He doesn't say anything about the tea scene. - Or? Does he? Notably 3zun have some very long in depth conversations that Wei Wuxian zones out from because he's busy thinking about Lan Zhan again. But let's not rely on what-ifs. Let's say that neither he nor Lan Xichen find it worth bringing up. Major reasons for that would be that a) these are not nie cultivators, nie mingjue wouldn't really have the authority to scold them. Especially because b) it's such a subtle offense it could easily be handwaved as coincidence. "They just always brush their cups clean like that!! It's wartime you know, and they were traveling! They're used to drinking from vessels that aren't thoroughly washed everytime! It's just a habit!" And would therefore not be worth reporting.
But anything worse than that? A "price tens or hundreds of times greater" like wwx mentions? He'd report it! I do understand that "well if it was happening why didn't he say something?" would, in real life, be victim blaming. This is not real life, and I am not talking about this in a matter of blame. If Meng Yao was being mistreated in the Nie and stayed silent about it, it would still not be his fault. I am talking about this in a manner of character consistency.
His admission of seeking help in the Jin sect shows that at that time and prior to it (a very good argument can be made that he loses faith in this idea) he believes that if he is being mistreated and someone with the authority to say something about it takes his side, things can improve. If Nie Mingjue standing up for him in Qinghe only made things worse, he would not have tried to ask for help in an even more hostile environment. You can call Meng Yao many things, but naïve isn't one of them.
Meng yao's later habit of completely isolating himself and lying to everyone around him comes from the fact that revealing his suffering would mean explaining several horrible things he's become complicit in and he does not feel safe admitting to that. But he's done nothing wrong here!
The reading where he says nothing would imply an either correct or incorrect belief in Meng Yao's eyes that Nie Mingjue did not much care for his wellbeing or safety. Oh sure he defended him once but doing so again multiple times would be such a bother. This also contradicts his later behaviour, where he banks solely on Nie Mingjue's protective instincts to seal his qi and escape during the confrontation in Langya. After having been caught murdering a man, he is still convinced Nie Mingjue will immediately try to help him when he is in serious danger.
And even if you very badly want to characterize Nie Mingjue as a blundering idiot who is apparently less trustworthy in Meng Yao's eyes than the jin cultivators who had already resoundly rejected him by the time he tries to ask for help with the langya captain. He doesn't say anything to Xichen either! Lan Xichen, who has explicitly and exhaustively been portrayed as kind and understanding to Meng Yao's circumstances and very willing to talk to Mingjue if Meng Yao wants something from him he doesn't otherwise think he'd get. The conversation Mingjue overhears where Meng Yao's new position in the Nie is explictly brought up would be kind of the perfect time to go "yeah I've been promoted but I'm not treated well by other soldiers" aaaand. Nothing. So unless you come to the conclusion that Meng Yao trusted the Jin he told about the captain's abuse more than Lan Xichen you kind of have to conclude that Meng Yao's treatment after his promotion improved significantly. And that even if people still disliked him they could not openly do anything about it because he was high enough in status for that to be socially inappropiate. Which is, explicitly, one of his main motivators over the entire course of the story: Avoiding mistreatment by getting high enough on the social ladder it doesn't matter what people think of him, they can't hurt him.
And I'm not sure how to reconcile that character journey with the idea that he would, at any point, have preferred to keep his head down and stay where he was. When he was so desperate to crawl his way out.
#the main tragedy of his character- of course- being that he keeps achieving that status and it is never enough#he achieves standing with the nie and the favor of a major sect leader and it's not enough for his father to even give him the time of day#he kills wrh amd becomes a war hero and gets acknowledged by his father!!#and all it gets him is nmj's constant distrust abuse at the hands of his stepmother and complicity in mass murder by his father's orders#he gets to the HIGHEST POSITION SOCIETY HAS. LITERAL CHIEF CULTIVATOR. And the moment he stumbles everyone turns on him immediately#like they were all just waiting for him to get low enough again that they could kick him further down#it's a rise-fall-rise-fall-rise-fall journey with every step up being a desperate fight and every tumble down being way too quick and easy#but! that rise still needs to be there!! for the story to work!!#the tragedy of qinghe for meng yao is how easily he loses nmj's fsvor. NOT that having it was bad in the first place#I understand that this reading is mainly done to put nmj in a bad light but I do genuinely think it does jgy a disservice#people more often apply this to him becoming jin guangyao which does in a lot of ways doom and trap him#and yes fuck jgs fuck that guy all the way to hell#but the key is that meng yao can't just get a happy ending by refusing power#he's not power hungry. what he wants is in fact reasonable- he's just willing to do a lot more than most to get it#'things would've been better if nmj didn't promote him/didn't send him to langya'#feels as reductive to me as the 'why can't he just be xichen's house boyfriend and join the lan instead' takes.#mdzs#meng yao#jin guangyao#mdzs meta#? sorta#feels too ranty to call meta#this is what i was talking about in my past post about how frustrating it is to base metas around disagreeing with others#makes analysis feel like discourse when that is NOT what i am trying to do#long post with long tags
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inkwellwrites · 1 year
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This game. This game. Has been driving me isnane ever since the beginning. I am clawing at the walls I am screaming I have had the strong urge to make reimagined designs for some of the characters because there was an actual blank canvas right in front of me. God bless
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soupsailor · 5 months
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been trying out sfm lately. I still have no idea how like. half the program works but it's okaaaay i'll get there! eventually. anyways yay look first animation yay woohoo!
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averlym · 8 months
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a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success
so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"
#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's#suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn#tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious#' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend#ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself#he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end#it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes#going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee#ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come#to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the#suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things#it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf#<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye#first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course
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gamethecry · 4 months
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steelycunt · 1 year
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ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs
hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx
having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.
overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.
and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.
#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular#opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these#tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now#because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!!#like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear.#okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care#about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a#person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested#in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon?#why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that#guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which#james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just#do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured#in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like#idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for.#god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx#also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their#super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were#not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good#and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff#they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely.#anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx#anon#telegram#scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl.#girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me
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