#i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways

[fleshdyke]

[ginkgo-phyta]

heyy do you write for hotch? If yes can I request a fic with hotch falling asleep on reader's shoulder on the jet. like there are so many fics with reader sleeping on his shoulder and he's all soft about it and lets her. how would the bau react to see their tough boss just cuddle up with his girlfriend after a long case (it can be established relationship or before that too). thanku!

A/N: im screaming HAHA i LOVE THIS! i made this an established relationship hehe i hope you enjoy, my love! 

tagged spencer reid x reader because i want more people to see this teehee pls dont hate me i have spencer fics yall should read if you havent already but also you should still read this too

fluff, BAU!reader, gender-neutral reader, mention of cannon type violence/hostage situation/nothing explicit or detailed, 1.8k words

“Hey, you okay?” Your tired eyes peered up at Aaron as he neared your seat on the jet, tie loosened and top button of his shirt undone. He had just gotten off the phone with the section chief, who, undoubtedly, scolded him as if he were a wayward adolescent. Although the smile he offered you in response was tight lipped and less-than-giving, his eyes told a different tale. They softened as they met yours, shedding their cold and hard façade to reveal a weary truth, littered with hints of desperation. 

This case had been long and grueling, tensions insurmountably higher than usual with Erin Strauss breathing down Hotch’s neck, scrutinizing every decision he and the rest of the team made. You barely got a chance to talk to Aaron about how he was doing, always being waved off by the older man with “We can talk later,” or “It doesn’t matter right now, let’s focus on the case,”. Begrudgingly, you obliged, understanding there was no point in pushing him. It would only add to his stress. Although the case was solved, the end was arduous. The unsub had taken a hostage and, with the rest of the BAU’s input, the negotiation tactics went a different way than what Erin deemed appropriate. 

A heavy sigh parted Aaron’s lips as he slumped into his seat, you could practically see steam of stress billowing off of him. “It’s fine, everything’s fine.” He spoke quietly, eyes closed, but you could tell he didn’t believe it to be true. 

“Strauss tear you a new one?” Rossi piqued from across the table. 

The unit chief huffed out a short laugh. “Nothing out of the ordinary.” Rossi just nodded at this, turning his attention back to his notepad. Hotch looked to the rest of his team as they settled into their desired spots, “Let’s all get some rest, alright?” 

Everyone wordlessly nodded, not having to be told twice. 

Aaron lazily turned his head to you with a book in your lap, “You, too, Agent.” He gave you a playfully pointed look.

You breathed out a quiet chuckle, “I will, don’t worry.” You shut the book and turned to give your beloved undivided attention, gazing into his suddenly undecipherable, deep hickory eyes. “You wanna talk about it?” 

He gently shook his head, eyelids feeling heavy as his blinks became slower and slower, “At home,” he whispered, your stomach doing a somersault at the notion. Aaron tried to fight sleep for just a few seconds longer, wanting to just stare at you for a bit.

You faced him, head leaned against the headrest, smile so warm and endearing. The way you chuckled at him was like getting a glimpse of heaven. He couldn’t wait to go home and have you all to yourself. The feeling of your arms wrapped around him was his life raft in the tumultuous storm of his emotions. It was hard for him to express what he was feeling all the time, but with you around his walls of reinforced concrete tumbled. Aaron gave you a small, sleepy smile.

Before he could say anything else, you spoke up. “Sleep,” it was a simple command, and the usually stubborn man melted into his seat at your word. 

You took a couple minutes longer to watch him immediately fall into a deep slumber, his breaths becoming deeper and longer, lips parted ever-so-slightly, eyebrows twitching here and there. With a breathy laugh, you fought the urge to reach up and caress his face and move the little stray strands of hair off of his forehead, still aware that your coworkers could witness such an intimate moment. The two of you had begun dating five months ago, but it wasn’t until three months later that you broke the news to the team. 

It had been a long time coming; for quite a while everyone knew about the feelings you harbored for your boss- even Hotch himself knew. You didn’t do a very good job of hiding it, taking every opportunity you could to blithely flirt with him. Some might just assume you did so in a similar way to how Penelope and Derek toy with each other, but the profilers knew in the back of their minds it wasn’t the case. Aaron fought you at first, pleading with you to stop calling him “handsome”, “big man”, or even “honey” in one case. You never gave in, though, buckling down on your efforts upon seeing the way he would chuckle caught off guard and almost blush in many instances. Slowly yet surely, he gave in to your teases. You burrowed your way into the stoic man’s heart, creating a place you would die before giving up. Aaron didn’t even realize it was happening until his world came crashing down on him one fateful evening. 

A routine questioning of a suspect had led to you getting held hostage, the man whose house you went to turning out to be the unsub. This had happened many times before in the history of the BAU, but for some reason Aaron was more on edge. There was no covert entrance into the home and the unsub refused to open up a line of communication with the agents, leaving everyone in the dark wondering what the state of your wellbeing was. Aaron had begun pacing back and forth in the tent they had set up outside the house you were being held in, hands held to his head. 

“Hotch, it’s going to be okay.” Derek stepped forward, trying to calm his superior’s nerves. 

“He’s right, Aaron.” Rossi piped in. “We’ve dealt with this before, we can fix this.”   

“No,” Hotch murmured back, “This isn’t the same. It’s not the same.” His pacing didn’t let up. “This is my fault, I should have told someone to go, too. I could have prevented this.”

The others held unspoken conversations within the glances they shared. 

“Hotch-” Emily tried to speak up, to convince him that wasn’t the case.

“NO!” He yelled suddenly, stopping in his tracks. “You don’t understand, I can’t lose them!” His voice was heavy with despair, eyes wide in anguish.

All eyes were trained on him, his coworkers at loss for words at the confession. 

“I can’t lose them…” Aaron mumbled this himself before roughly pushing out of the tent.

You smiled to yourself as you took a last glance towards the sleeping man next to you before turning back to your book. Safe to say, you were incredibly shocked when Aaron showed up on your doorstep in the dark of the night all those months ago, soaked in the rain, kissing you with a sense of urgency before you could even ask him what he was doing there. You bit your lip at the memory, but shook it out of your head to try and focus in on the jumbled words swimming in your lap. From the get-go, the two of you decided you would remain extremely professional around your coworkers, and you did just that. You stopped your teasing, for the most part at least, and made sure to never initiate physical contact on the job. Anyone that didn’t already know you were in a relationship would never have guessed. The most you allowed yourselves was sitting next to one another on the jet, just like you were doing now. 

An unintelligible murmur and huff sounding from your side drew your short-lived attention away from the delicate pages in front of you. Just as you were about to look over to Aaron and make sure he was okay, a heavy weight thumped onto your shoulder. His head. You were taken aback, a giggle slipping through your lips before you could help it. Your fingers flew up to your mouth, trying to keep yourself quiet as you noticed him shift a bit, making himself more comfortable. Sure, you’d accidentally fallen against Hotch’s shoulder in your sleep a couple times before the two of you entered a relationship, but never in a million years did you expect him to do the same to you. On the jet. In front of everyone. Of course, he couldn’t control his actions in his sleep, you reasoned. And maybe you should gently shrug him off to help retain his authority around the teasing profilers. But, this time, you fought off that thinking and gave in to your instinct. He had been so tense and strung out this entire case, you knew he needed this.

To hell with professionalism. You thought with a devilish grin, happy in your resolution. And so, you gently closed your book and slid it onto the table in front of you, trying your best to move as little as possible before leaning your head against his own and closing your eyes. With the gentle hum of the jet engines and the comforting sounds of Aaron’s breathing, you were lulled into a wonderful slumber in no time.

“Oh my God,” Emily breathed out, garnering the attention of Spencer who rested in the same group of seats as her. He looked up at her with one eye from where he was slumped over in his window seat, trying to get some shut-eye. 

“Huh?” the sleepy doctor grumbled, pushing himself a bit more upright when he noticed Emily looking at something on the other side of the jet, her face a mixture of shock and glee. 

The raven-haired agent began slapping Derek’s shoulder, who sat peacefully next to her with his eyes closed and headphones over his ears. His eyes flew open, looking over to Emily with annoyance as he took off his headphones, “What! What!”    

Immediately Emily shushed him, “Look!” she whispered, hand flying wildly in the air, eyes still unmoving. 

Derek followed her line of sight the scene before him pulling a laugh of disbelief from his lungs. “Well, well, well…” 

Emily’s hands covered her mouth in astonishment. “JJ!” she whispered over to the blonde who lay curled up on the sofa next to them. “Ugh,” she groaned quietly, unable to wake her coworker. 

“I can’t believe this,” she whispered mostly to herself, settling back in her seat, garnering a shake of Morgan’s head.

The view of their hard-headed unit chief sleeping peacefully on the shoulder of his subordinate, the latter’s head resting sweetly back on his was suddenly blacked by the side of Rossi’s body as he stuck his arm out, trying to get the best angle to immortalize this moment on camera.

“Good for them,” Morgan grinned, his voice proudly announcing his amusement as he put his headphones back over his head.

“Rossi, you better send me that!” Emily spoke up just a little bit louder, the old man looking back and motioning his phone towards her in acknowledgement.

“What? What!?” Spencer whisper-yelled, unsuccessfully craning his head above and between the seats to get a glimpse of what all the hubbub was about, “What are you guys looking at!?”    

“Penelope’s gonna flip,” Emily mumbled to herself, a teasing smile playing on her face as she looked down at the picture Rossi sent her. Without a second thought, she saved the photo onto her phone. They’re never gonna live this down.     

A/N: i hope you liked this!! i had a fun time writing it ehehe hotch is such a dilf, like an ACTUAL dilf im not even attracted to fathers but hotch?? all day, every day, baby!

[korlkorl]

things that get azul, ruggie & sebek flustered

fic vomit uwu

azul

nothing. absolutely nothing. don't get him wrong, there are many things that you do to get him all flushed and embarrassed like the sweet cherry tomato you pop in your mouth. it's just that azul has never loved someone so much before, there is no way he can have a favourite, when you as a whole is his favourite thing in the entire world.

the way your eyelashes flutter when you blink; the slow motion of your chest heaving up and down— he finds all of them so loveable. he's on his knees for you, please be merciful, jade and floyd will never let him see the end of it. he already knows how shamefully he acts when he's around you, the inexplainable desire to want to see you gasp in surprise, impressed with whatever new thing azul wanted to show off. give him a kiss after and watch him freeze and heat up.

ruggie

oddly enough, what gets him flustered about you is when he does something. ruggie is someone who values his hard work and sufficiency. because of this, he doesn’t believe people do favors simply because of their nature. like him, he thinks everyone has a motive. somehow, that mindset is slowly starting to alter.

it wasn't much to begin with— he'd sometimes find himself swiping a little extra than usual, risking the possibility of being caught because he stole more than he should. for some reason, that little extra amount wasn't for himself as a cheeky reward, no. it was actually for you.

he'd casually hand some food to you on his way and sometimes, if he doesn't manage to get enough for the both of you, he'd always split it half if possible, much to his classmate's horror. (ruggie bucchi? THE ruggie bucchi?? sharing??? is this heaven????)

at a point, he realized what he was doing. it's completely out of character for him, what in the world was he thinking? but he was too deep now, he couldn't seem to live day by day without giving you a little gift at least once anymore.

eventually, ruggie went from nonchalantly giving you half of his donuts or letting you copy some of his work that you forgot to do to instead turning a deep hue of multiple reds (in the span of 0.2 seconds!) as he sheepishly handed you things. oh well, there's no turning back now.

sebek

he’d always found it off putting on how this magically gifted mother ever found herself in love with his average father, who was much more soft spoken and loving. He couldn’t seem to fully grasp how his mother ever saw any appeal in his father.

it was a ridiculous notion. someone as talented as her stooping for someone as low as him?! that's crazy! don't worry, sebek loves his father very much. but he's also strongly opinionated.

for someone who claims his opinions and ideals hardly change, they seem to sway as easily as they came when you entered his life. you were much sweeter, kinder and caring than sebek could ever be. he was hardly a spec of dust in your presence. maybe that's what tugged at his heart. you were average. there was nothing inherently special about you, just a normal human. to him, you were his god.

sometimes, when you cage his fingers against yours, lean your head against his shoulder and smile, sebek starts to wonder what has ever had happen for this to ever happen.

sebek is a lot of things. he's human, he's fae, he's a wizard and he's yours. he flushes in embarassment when he thinks about this. what did you do to him for him to be so hopeless around you? he turns red when he thinks about how easily you managed to change him.

a.n: hihi hope u enjoy... also dont forget to put some requests in my inbox!! i am running out of ideas... i just started working on a request and i think it's gonna be very long so im gonna let my inbox marinate so i can binge write all of them... i love writing...

[honeybeedrabble]

Dangerous Desires (ix) - Home Coming

CW: spanking/brat taming, hair pulling, biting, licking, breast play, marking, unprotected piv (dont be stupid), rough sex, slight fingering, degradation, choking, cream-pie (DONT BE STUPID), probs some shit editing, LMK what i missed !!

word count: 10K 💀💀

18+ MDNI !!!!!

You stood in front of the hokage, heart beating out of your chest. You were nervous, that much was obvious. However you couldn’t wrap your head around why you were summoned. Lady Tsunade finished writing her last few words into her notes, stapling them together and setting them aside to address you.

“You must be wondering why I’ve sent for you,” she started, sitting up in her seat. Her face was somber.

“I can’t say you’re wrong.”

“What I’m about to tell you is something only a very select few know about.” Tsunade started, hands clasped together on the desk. “We’re about to go to war.”

You were shocked- was Kakashi really telling the truth?! Was he right all along?! Your emotions were everywhere and it was evident on your face.

“I know, I know it’s a lot to take in. I myself am not sure if I’ve taken it in yet.” She seemed stressed, you could see the worry behind her soft brown eyes.

“Lady Tsunade… who are we at war with?”

“My dear who aren’t we at war with?” She sadly laughed to herself. “Truth be told we’re fighting against a greater force than we know. I hate to say this but we’re looking at a fourth great ninja war.“ Your eyes widened, body filled with anxiety.

“A fourth great war? Are you serious?”

“I’m as serious as death. In fact, there’s going to be a five kage summit soon and I’ll need to attend to talk about said war.”

“So… The war isn’t with the other nations? I mean… if there’s going to be a summit with all five nations, doesn’t that mean neither is the threat?” You asked, still confused.

“Exactly.”

“Then who’s the threat?”

“I can’t discuss that with you.”

“Then why have I been summoned Lady Tsunade? If you can’t tell me who the enemy is tell me what I’m here for.” You were starting to get angry, worried for what you’d been told previously.

“You need to fight in this war.” Tsunade said plainly. “With medical jutsu like yours we would be idiots not to use you. I’m telling you now that we’re not asking you to enlist, but rather we are drafting.” Kakashi was right.

You couldn’t believe him, it was impossible to. How could this be happening? It wasn’t long since you’ve been here and already you’re being drafted in the war. It was exactly how Kakashi had told you, no denying it. This is your job, what you were sent to do, the only thing you know how to do, so damn right you’re going to use your blessing to help all you can.

“I’m well aware of my capabilities my lady, and in fact I find it a great honor to be drafted by you personally.”

“You’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would, I must thank you for that.” She sighed a relieved breath, hand clutching her chest.

“I have no other choice but to. This is what I signed up for when moving to Konoha. I decided the day I learned my first medical justu I would help the world become a better place. If you hadn’t drafted me I would’ve signed up myself. It’s my duty, this is my home.” Your words moved Tsunade, she smiled softly at you. Her face dropped suddenly.

“I’m glad you believe that, and I’m glad to have someone like you be so ready for whatever is to come, really I am. But because you’re going to be in the war I need to to preserve your chakra. Because of this, I forbid you from working at the hospital.” She looked away from you, knowing she didn’t want to see the determination wash away from your face in real time.

“Are you… are you firing me?”

“I’m afraid so. I cant have you waste any of your precious chakra on a few sick patients when we are going to have armies full of injured shinobi on the front lines. We have enough medical personnel at the hospital already, so with you being as high ranked as you are we must save you for the battlefield. You understand don’t you?”

“Lady Tsunade what more do I have other than my job? How long will it be until we are in war? I-I can’t be out of work that long.”

“I’m sorry but my hands are tied.” Her voice was almost as sad as yours, she worriedly watched as your eyes started to well with tears.

“Please my lady. Don’t do this to me.” She got up from her desk and walked over to you, hugging you tightly against her.

“It’s going to be alright, I promise. I just need you to rest up. We’ll be destroyed without you, please just trust me.” You hugged eachother until you could calm down, you wiped any tears that fell and stepped aside.

“Lady Tsunade I have a request to make.”

“What is it dear?”

“I want to go home. Back to my village and see my parents one last time before I go to war. I think it’s only reasonable to see them one last time, as me coming home alive and well is uncertain.” Tsunade stepped back and looked at you, a hand draped softly on your shoulder.

“I accept the request. How long will you be gone?”

“Probably under a week.”

“Then so be it. You’re dismissed.”

You walked out of the office and back home with an intense sadness inside of you. You gave up on Kakashi because you loved your job. Now your job has been stolen from you and it was all for nothing. Everything that had given you value- that had given you purpose- is now gone. You wondered if you should even return home or not.

You decided it would be a good idea if you told your friends Machi and Gale you’d be gone for the next few days, back at home until you decided you needed to come back. They understood and wished you well on your journey.

Kakashi was a mess, thinking about how poorly he treated you during your sexcapade, saying he hated you and fucking you so roughly he wasn’t sure if he had hurt you or not. Who care if he did? You hurt him worse. You hurt him in a way nobody else has. How could you treat him like he was somebody only to leave him like he was nothing? At least, that’s how he saw it.

Business at The Poison Sandwich was slow today, maybe the sadness was in the air. Kakashi ate his BLT, thoughts of you racing through his head. Even up until he heard your name uttered by the two girls you held dearly as friends.

“So she went back home.” Gale said to the cook behind the counter.

“I’ve been thinking about visiting a few of the sandwich shops in her village for a while now actually.” Percy smiled from behind the counter.

“Wait… she went back?” Kakashi interrupted, unsure if he heard right.

“Yeah, yesterday. Said she’s be back in a few days.” Machi said, looking over at Percy. “He said he was going to go the her village pretty soon to try out the food there.”

“Is this true Percy?” Kakashi asked his friend, who nodded as he discarded his white apron.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Can I come?” Kakashi asked, cursing himself. What was he thinking?

“Well as long as you don’t have any other plans for the rest of the day, I see no problem. I’m heading off now, so get ready.” Percy said, untying his apron and tossing it on a nearby countertop. “Ladies, you don’t mind closing shop for me, do you?”

And of course, as enamored with the man as they were, had zero issue and took care of business as he and Kakashi took off.

_____________

Kakashi was shocked to see the strange motorized bike that Percy had built, looking it up and down in shock and awe at the mechanism.

“What is this, if I may ask?”

“Well I’m not a shinobi like you so getting around to long distances isn’t easy for me. I built this myself as a way to make the trips easier.” Percy said, tossing Kakashi a black helmet. Kakashi caught it and reluctantly adorned it, his silver hair peeking out from underneath.

As Percy started the machine Kakashi sat in the back behind him, pondering why he had felt the need for such an impromptu visit to your hometown. He didn’t know why he felt this way, especially after the way you had treated him. Once again he felt alone, abandoned by your heartlessness and eager mindset to go fight off in a war that he felt would mame and kill you the second you had your back turned to the enemy.

“Kakashi… what’s been going on with you?” Percy asked, snapping Kakashi out of the trance he found himself in.

“I’m sorry?” He asked, puzzled at his friends sudden questioning.

“Listen... Gale, Machi, and I all know about your secret affair. And we don’t care- we support it honestly. But ever since you two have had a falling out… we’ve noticed a change.” Percy’s voice was somber as he drove throughout the thick forest, focused on the destination while his heart was stuck in the conversation. Kakashi was silent a moment, his mind was racing. Was it safe to tell his friend the truth? To let the secrets of his beloved lay out in front of someone who was only watching from the outside?

“I’m not sure I understand,” he replied monotoned. His outside demeanor was cool, but anyone who really knew what was going on inside his mind could tell the intricacies of his tone, picking up the way his voice would lilt anxiously as he declared this inquiry.

“Well I’m sure you do, so don’t play dumb with me Hatake,” Percy snapped, he wasn’t playing games- Kakashi was sure of this now.

“Well what do you want me to tell you? Sometimes people don’t work out the way they meant to, we don’t have control over these things. All you need to know is that me and her are… we’re complicated.”

“Bullshit.” Kakashi was taken aback.

“What are you talking about?” The wind was blowing through his hair, headband threatening to blow off his eye. He held it tight, looking at his thighs for avoidance.

“I’m talking about your seriously psychotic desire for control. You’ve wanted her from the moment you met her, haven’t you?” Percy asked, revving the engine of his bike.

“More than anything…” Kakashi admitted, vision still remained on his thighs.

“And ever since then, what have you done?”

Kakashi thought about it for a moment. What had he done? He had fucked you on his desk, broken into your home and stolen your underwear, touched you while you slept, fucked you at work, fucked you on missions- gods... the list could only go on.

“I’ve done all I could.” He clutched his fists, hating how horribly his stomach churned. “And yet it still wasn’t enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that my love for her has consumed me, my body, brain, and soul. She’s all I think about- ever. She’s everything, and everywhere. No matter what time of day or night, I can feel her down to the very air I breathe. I’ve tried for what has felt like forever to have her all to myself.”

“Why all to yourself?”

“Because the thought of her with anyone else makes me violent,” Kakashi said, regretting his words the very moment they spilled past his lips.

Percy remained quiet, Kakashi wasn’t sure if it was so he could talk more or not. He stayed silent for a while too. He wondered wether Percy was judging him, then again he didn’t care too much, it wasn’t him who was worried about public appearances.

“Sometimes I can feel my blood boil when I see another man talking to her. She makes me feel at peace, not just in my mind but in my soul. I love that woman down to the marrow in my bones and to think that some other man could see her and only see her for her beauty, only see her for something to use makes me sick. I can practically feel the bile in my throat just thinking about it.”

“So she makes you feel calm?” Percy didn’t seem to be turned off by the way Kakashi spoke of you, it was as if they were having a conversation so casual it was comparable to one about the weather.

“It’s beyond that,” Kakashi felt his heart flutter as he thought of you, his mind running with excitement just at the opportunity to talk about you.

“Sometimes I think about my past and all the people who have left me. Some of them chose to, some of them didn’t. Regardless, whenever I’d get attached to someone they’d leave, I didn’t have any control over it. Maybe it was because I was weak, or too young to have any real say in the matter. But now it’s different. I’m stronger and I’m older, no matter how you look at it I’m ten times the person I was all those years ago.” Percy remained silent, listening intently to his friend. Something he wouldn’t do to much of as Kakashi wasn’t the type to open up easily.

“When I met her, I knew instantly I loved her. It was a fact just as true as the sky is blue. I don’t think about all the horrible things from my youth whenever she’s around, not when all I can think about is the possibility of my old age spent with this wonderful woman. And the only way to have a future with her is if she doesn’t leave. I’ve grown beyond a simple lust for her, I've realized I can’t escape these feelings. I learned about her past, her favorite flowers and I’ve showered her in as much affection I can show without being too much. I’m sure I’ve crossed that boundary already but I can’t help it, I have too much inside to not let go of.”

“So you want something serious with her?”

“Yes.”

“Why call it quits now? After everything you’ve gone through, why give up?”

“Because she’s going to leave me,” He ran a hand through his silver hair, holding back a tear that was heard through the slight crack in his voice.

“She told you she doesn’t want to be together anymore?” Percy asked, wondering if what his girlfriends told him about you was true or not. He remembered hearing how you liked Kakashi too, but was afraid of ridicule, yet still craved his love beneath it all.

“She wants to fight in a possible deadly battle. I cant disclose much but that’s all I can say.”

“But she’s strong isn’t she? Plus she’s a medic, so wouldn’t she be able to heal herself if anything happened?” Percy asked, unsure about the severity of this “battle”.

“You don’t get it,” Kakashi sighed, leaning his forehead against Percy’s back. “I can keep her through affection and intimacy, that’s one thing we both know we have for each other, it’s apparent. But I can’t keep her from getting herself killed. Death is around every corner for people like me and her.”

“Shinobi, you mean?”

“Exactly. I don’t want to be in love with someone and yearn for them every second we aren’t together just for them to leave and die. It’s not fair to torture myself like that. I’d rather call it quits early before I’m doomed to live a life of suffering. I couldn’t deal with it.”

“Kakashi, you already are.” Percy didn’t care to tiptoe around the fact, he was tired of all the beating around the bush. Kakashi sat there a moment, his head still resting against his friends back.

He closed his eyes, occasionally catching himself to hold onto the bike better as they jostled over small rocks and bumps along their path. Kakashi didn’t have much to say about that, but it did prompt a lot of thinking, not that he could do much with Percy being such a chatterbox.

“You need to hear me out with this, okay? Love is like a sandwich-“

“Good gods, spare me the metaphors…”

“I’m going somewhere with this trust me!!” Percy yelled defensively, his volume mostly washed out by the breeze blowing by. “You can have all the amazing fillings you want: intimacy, shared experiences, passion, romance, all that is great but without the bread that keeps it together it’s just a bunch of things slopped together. What makes a sandwich a sandwich is the bread that keeps it together- a solid foundation, trust. And sure, it’s going to be messy at times, but that just comes with that delicious journey we all sign up for.”

“Is there a point to this analogy?”

“Obviously, dumbass. You have all the makings for a great relationship except for the bread… the trust. The bread you’ve got is thin- real thin. Meaning it’s not able to keep all that great stuff inside. The only way that meals gonna end is with everything falling out. Do you know why your bread is thin?” Percy asked, dodging a large rock in the middle of the path.

“Because of my insecurities…” Kakashi admitted, his face heating up.

“Bingo.”

He sat with this realization, mostly because he was metaphorically eaten up alive by one of his best friends. That aside, he looked at the bigger picture. Was he really that insecure about his trust in you? He knew you were strong, but was he actually just insecure you would rather die than be with him?! Was he really that codependent on you? That wasn’t possible, not with war being such a great threat. Percy didn’t know that though, so that’s another thing to factor in. Regardless, there still was valid food for thought presented to him.

“Well how far away are we now?” Kakashi asked, looking around at the new environment.

“Wont take longer than a few minutes, bud. Relax, we’ll be there in no time.”

___________________

Percy was right of course, only a few minutes later and the two were parked outside the large wooden gates. Sounds of children’s laughter and music could be heard just beyond, as well as the smell of amazing food clouding their senses. Kakashi and Percy walked in, delighted by all the new sights and sounds, it seemed like a festival was taking place, although they had zero clue what it was for.

While it did seem magical at first glance, Kakashi knew the truth behind this villages facade. When he truly looked around beyond the vibrant colors and fun attractions, he saw very sick people lurking around the streets, some even begging for spare money. He sighed to himself, judging all the men who walked by with their expensive robes who were laughing at the sick and elderly.

“Kakashi! Over here!” Percy called to him from beyond the crowd.

Kakashi looked over to where his friend was and saw a small shop next to some sort of brothel-esque building. He tilted his head in curiosity at him, raising both arms in a shrugging position.

“No- come over here! This is the place I came here for!” Percy called louder, holding open the shops door to signal he was about to enter.

Kakashi jogged over there, still overwhelmed by all the excitement going around. When he caught up with Percy, he suddenly felt something very familiar. It was that calmness in his soul he had described to Percy earlier. He spun around, trying to see what it was and if he could follow it.

“Something the matter?” Percy asked, shutting the door.

Kakashi turned his head and saw a small staircase on the outside of the establishment that led to a second story door. He furrowed his brow looking at the door, feeling a strange calling towards whatever was just beyond it.

“No… I guess it’s nothing.” He said, turning towards Percy as he opened the door and walked inside.

It was a small restaurant, a few tables here and there as well as a large island that a middle aged man stood at.

“Hi, welcome in fellas! Take a seat anywhere you want, I’ll get you both a few menus to look at!” He said cheerily, ducking behind the island to grab two menus.

Percy sat at the island in front of the man, Kakashi followed and took the seat next to him. The older man gave them their menus and went in the back to give them some time.

“Are you hungry at all?” Percy asked, skimming the drinks side.

“I could eat,” Kakahi responded, suddenly craving a sandwich more than anything.

There were quite a few options to choose from. Some vegan options, some vegetarian, and some sort of dessert types with various different fruits, custards, and cream fillings. Kakashi was in the mood for something more traditional and hearty, deciding he would ask for a grilled chicken sandwich.

The man reappeared with a small notepad and pen, leaning against the countertop.

“You two ready to order?” He asked, looking at Kakashi first.

“Yeah, may I please have the grilled chicken sandwich?” He asked, pointing to the menu. The man wrote it down and then asked for Percy’s order.

“I’ll have this breakfast sandwich,” Percy said.

“A little late don’t you think?” The man laughed, taking both menus.

“Well you know… breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Why not have it anytime of day?” Percy laughed. The man furrowed a brow and Percy grimaced, embarrassed by his joke falling flat.

Kakashi couldn’t help but feel that comforting aura getting stronger around him. He looked around, maybe it was the environment? Just then it became much stronger, as if all this muscles had relaxed in just that moment. It felt less like an aura and more like a chakra. He quickly looked behind the man and towards the curtains that led to the back. What he saw he couldn’t believe.

You emerged from beyond the curtains, holding two cups of water in your hands. When you looked up you immediately locked eyes with him. You must’ve felt the same muscle relaxation as Kakashi, you suddenly dropped both cups catching the eyes of the room.

“Kakashi…?”

_________________________________

You had arrived to this hometown of yours not too long after you left Konoha. You watched as children ran around happily through the village with their prizes from games going on throughout the streets. You sighed, walking down the paths of the place you once called home, knowing the happiest of people were just tourists in this living hell your family and community was trapped in.

You approached your families restaurant, smiling at the nostalgic feeling it filled you with. You grabbed the handle and walked in, your father standing just behind the island. He called you name excitedly, rushing over to you to hold you in a tight hug.

“You’ve come home! What are you doing here? You didn’t get kicked out, did you?” He teased, letting you go to get a good look at you. You nervously laughed.

“No, it’s not that.” You said, rubbing the back of your neck.

“Well whatever the reason is, it’s nice seeing you again.”

“Um… can I talk to you upstairs for a moment? There’s something I need to tell you… it has to do with me being here actually.”

He nodded and held the curtain for you to walk through. Beyond the kitchen in the back was a small door that led to a staircase, that staircase led to the small flat you and your family grew up in. When you both had settled down in the living room, you had assumed your mother would be there, however she was not. Puzzled, you two sat on a nearby couch and you faced him to ask.

“Did mom go out somewhere? I mean… I didn’t see her in the restaurant or kitchen and it’s a little late to still be in bed…” Your fathers face fell, looking at the carpeting.

“Your mother is uh… well there’s no easy way to say this. Your mothers in the hospital.” You felt your heart drop.

“What’s wrong with her? Why didn’t you send a message?! I could’ve come home to help her- what’s going on dad?!” you asked, voice shaking.

He sighed deeply, rubbing his temples with one hand anxiously.

“We aren’t sure what was wrong with her but… we knew that with the big move and that new job of yours you’d have some real stress. We couldn’t put that on you, so we made the decision to send her to a nearby hospital to get her checked out.”

“Fuck…” you sighed, holding your head in your hands. “You need to take me to her, I can heal her… or fix her or… something- anything! Gods dad, what the hell?! Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“Sweetie it’s fine, your mothers going to be okay-“

“Dad that’s a lot of money! For crying out loud, how are you going to afford the hospital bills?”

“We’ll be fine! as long as you’re okay we’ll be just fine.”

“Here, let me see if I have any extra money on me,” you reached into your pockets for your wallet. Your father quickly nudged your arm away.

“Please don’t, you have enough on your plate already. Why don’t you tell me what you needed to say earlier, okay?” He asked, putting on a small smile.

You frowned.

“Well, since we’re getting everything out in the open…” You took in a deep breath, letting it out with a shaky breath. “I’m going to war.”

You felt your heart shatter the way you watched your fathers face drop again. It was as if he was being told his only child was about to be killed right in front of him.

“Dad, I know how it’s sounds but I don’t have any other choice. There are people who need me, I signed up for this- this is my job.“

“I understand.” He said softly. You frowned, pulling him into a hug.

“I wanted to see you and mom one last time before I left… I know it’s a worst case scenario but… if anything were to happen, I wanted to tell you both goodbye.” You heard your father sob in your ear, holding you tightly. You couldn’t help yourself from crying either and wept with him on the sofa.

“I know you’re strong, and I know you’re valuable, but I’m still so worried,” he sputtered, you patted his back to comfort him but it did next to nothing.

“I know, but I promise you I’m not going down without a fight. I swear to you and mom I’m not going to let myself be weak.” You said sternly, almost as if you weren’t choking back a rivers worth of tears.

After a few more minutes and you and your father had calmed down, you sat there and discussed the situation of war. What it meant for you and your family. You said that with the money you had, it’ll all go to them if you died and they’d be able to move far away, to a better village and have a good financial place for themselves. Your father wasn’t pleased to hear about this and almost cried again. To get his mind off of it, you told him about your job and all the people you met at Konoha.

“Machi and Gale, huh? They sound quite nice! You even have your own students, sounds like you’ve adapted pretty well,” you dad smiled, tears drying on his cheeks.

“I have,” you smiled back, a blush forming in your face when you remembered Kakashi was one of the first you grew close with, even if it started out so riske.

“What’s that look for, hmm?” Your father asked, teasing you for the small blush across your face.

“It’s nothing,” you replied, putting a hand to your cheek and feeling the warmth on your skin.

“Don’t lie to me, I know that look pretty well. You must’ve met someone who isn’t just a friend or a student to you, so tell me!” He laughed, playfully swatting you on your arm.

“I mean, yeah there is someone,” you smirk, shortly after your face fell.

“Um… is everything alright?”

“Yeah, It’s just… things are complicated right now.”

“Oh,” you father said sadly, crossing his arms.

“But he’s a really great guy!” you perked up.

“He?” Your father asked. You nodded. “Does he have a name?”

“He might.”

“He might? What might it be?”

“It might be Kakashi.” Just the your fathers arms uncrossed, his eyes widening.

“As in Kakashi Hatake?”

“Oh great,” you sighed, hating this conversation immediately. “Yeah, why?”

“Because that’s the famous copy ninja! I’ve got to say I’m impressed.” You groaned, holding your knees to your chest now.

“Please stop embarrassing me.”

“I’m not trying to, I’m just suprised that a man like that can be in a relationship with you.” Immediately you grew defensive.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Your brows furrowed.

“Woah, I didnt mean it like that! It’s just… he’s known for being such a hardened shinobi. Who knew there was a heart beneath the mask?” He nervously laughed.

“I knew.” You added. Your father frowned, nervously fidgeting in his seat.

“I’m sorry, " you sighed. "I didn’t mean to be so snappy. It’s just that we’ve spent a lot of time together and he means a lot to me. I’ve seen a lot of his sides and even though he drives me crazy I can’t help but love him regardless. He makes me feel seen, and appreciated. No matter how bitchy I am he keeps trying, nobody else has ever been this patient with me. And what makes things even crazier, is that I feel so drawn to him. It’s like my whole life has led up to the moment we’d meet. Oh, what am I saying? This is starting to get weird, I’ll stop while I’m ahead,” your face felt extremely hot, you avoiding looking at your dad.

“No it’s fine, I get it.” He said, patting you on the back.

“Yeah, thanks.” Silence.

“So what makes things so complicated?”

“‘What isn’t complicated’ is a better question,” although you knew that answer was something entirely too inappropriate to say.

“It’s that bad?”

“Yes and no. It’s a long story, I couldn’t get into it.”

“Well whatever the case may be, you sound like you really love him. In fact, I caught onto you saying that,” he smirked.

“Please stop.”

“Fine.” he raised his hands defensively, then stood up from his seat at the couch. “Now we can sit here moping all day or we can spend time together like we used to. What do you say?”

“Moping sounds good but we can’t afford that right now so let’s work the restaurant like we used to.” You smiled, following him down that stairs.

___________________

“Kakashi…?”

So that’s what it was, it was you all along. He should have known better. Kakashi stood up, uttering your name back to you. You weren’t sure what to do. Truth be told you didn’t forgive him for putting you out on the spot like that, but you also knew there was no real reason for him to forgive you either.

“I’m sorry but would you excuse us for a minute?” Kakashi asked Percy as he motioned to speak to you outside.

“No.” Percy said, fidgeting with his napkin. Your father shot you a concerned look, finally putting two and two together. You patted him on the back reassuringly.

“It shouldn’t take long, we’ll just have a chat upstairs.” You reached into your pocket for a set of keys, walking out the front door of the establishment, Kakashi on your tail.

You two walked out in silence and he followed you up the outside stairs, staying quiet as you unlocked the door and stepped inside. He looked around and it appeared to be your old bedroom, posters and ribbons hanging on the walls. It felt homey to him, more so when he noticed preserved flowers laying on your desk, jasmine to be exact.

“So did you follow me here or did you-“ he cut you off with his lips against yours. Your eyes grew wide in shock. But the moment he put his hand on the small of your back you felt entirely different. Your eyes closed softly and your hands tangled in his hair. You felt a familiar fire burn in your chest, your heart fluttering as his beat in tandem with yours.

“Kakashi,” you sighed, his grip on you becoming tighter. He pushed you against the door, keeping his grasp on you impossibly firm. “Now’s not a good-“

“Stop talking, damnit.” he huffed, his breath hot against your skin. Immediately you shut your mouth, only opening it again to allow his tongue to brush up against yours.

You locked the door while you were still up against it, then resumed pulling on his hair. You also pushed your body against his firm chest, feeling your loins flutter as his breathing became heavier and his kisses more desperate. Kakashis tongue prodded into your mouth, caressing your own as if it lost it, rejoicing in the feeling of finding it again. His body language spoke the same dialect, his arms tense while they wrapped around you, legs locked in place as they cornered you against the wooden door.

You grabbed onto his vest, yanking it off of him and it was only for a moment when his arms left your body. His vest sliding off of him and landing on the floor, he swiftly kicked it away and then resumed his primal grip against your body. He pulled you into him, a breath of air escaping your lungs the moment he ripped your body off the floor. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, head falling to your shoulder while his teeth sunk into your neck, you let out a small grunt from the pain that you couldn’t welcome enough.

“Kashi?” you whispered heavily. He cut you off with another sloppy kiss, the rough smack of his lips against yours had you digging your nails into his back through his body con long sleeve. “What are you doing-“ another kiss “here?”

“What does it look like?” He huffed, hands sneaking past your shirt as he caressed your back with his long fingers. Your breath hitched at the feeling of him touching your bare skin, hair on the back of your neck raising while the tickling sensation of his calloused fingertips roamed your skin.

“I know what you’re doing, but why?”

“I needed you,” he rasped, fingers digging into your skin, his own nails now dragging down your skin. You shuddered in his grasp, thighs clamping down tight around his abdomen. “Must I need any other reason?”

“No…” you knew this was rhetorical, but the gratification you gained from answering him regardless heightened your arousal, giving into him just like you always did. “Needed me for what?” you asked, your chest rising and falling as you struggled to gain your composure.

“I just needed to see you,” Kakashi muttered licking the slight teeth marks that curved along your neck. “I missed this… the way things were before. Y’know I thought about inviting you over the other night?”

“To your apartment?” You were suddenly curious. He nodded, his hands now rubbing down your back, causing you to shiver once again. “What would we do?”

“I don’t even know. I was just so empty without you, even you being in my presence would be enough for me. However, I’m sure we’d find ways to entertain ourselves,” He leaned in closely to your ear “Wanna know how exactly?”

When he said this he thrusted himself into you, his hard package pressing right up against your clothed cunt. You moaned, grinding down on the new stimulation the moment you could, completely void of embarrassment or shame.

“Y-yeah,” your heart was practically in your throat now, however you felt the heartbeats much, much lower.

“Well, I had something in mind,” he hummed, his hands now on your asscheeks, gripping them harshly.

“Ngh- Like what?”

“I was thinking about how bad you’ve been lately,” his breath was almost burning the skin of your neck, you wanted him to so badly rip your clothes off of you and take you to bed. His hair smelled so good, you kept digging your fingers inside of the fluffy mass, gently pulling at it while it tangled between your fingers. He grunted slightly.

“Just like how you are right now,” it came out a purr, vibrations coming up from deep inside his chest. “You’ve been a bad girl. Sometimes I can barely recognize you.”

You didn’t know why you felt so ashamed about his words, a wave of regret crashing hard against you.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, unsure why the apology came so easy.

“So you admit you’ve been a bad girl?” he asked with amusement in his tone, his voice hoarse as he spoke deep into your neck.

“I’m as bad as they come,” you admitted, legs wrapping around even tighter. He chuckles softly.

“Oh? Well then I think we both know what that means,” his cock twitched underneath his pants, you had to sink your nails into your palms to avoid getting handsy. “I think you need to be punished severely.”

The hair on the back of your neck stood up, goosebumps rising on your skin immediately. He carried you over to your bed, tossing you down on it. You crashed against it, a loud squeak echoing through the room. You blushed, hoping to whatever god there was that nobody downstairs could hear.

“What are you going to do with me?” You asked, your hands rubbing where he bit you on your neck.

“You want to know your punishment?” An amused smile spread across his face. You nodded. “Well that’s for me to know and you to find out.”

You felt frustrated, already wanting him to lash out on you, it felt like torture the way he stood over you, patently keeping his hands to himself.

“Please?” you whispered, one of your hands moving south of your body, he watched as your sunk your hands under your waistband, eyes blowing wide when your mouth fell open.

He grabbed your wrist and yanked it back out, pinning it down and above your head.

“I think you need another spanking.” You bit your lip, trying to hide your excitement, your panties already wet when he increased the pressure of his hand.

He sat down next to you, letting go of your wrist and instead using his hand to grab your hair into a tight pony tail, causing you to sit up.

“Should I bend over your lap?” it came out as a mewl, your desperation evident on your face.

“How funny that you just want to jump straight into it,” he smiled in your face, shiny teeth gleaming back at your from beyond his perfect lips. “Sweet girl, maybe you do know how to behave,” he kissed you softly, then had you bend over his lap.

With one hand still firm in your hair, the other pulled down your pants, your panties coming down with it. You clenched around nothing as the cool air hit your wet cunt, a shiver was sent up your back.

“Such a slut, excited for her spanking.” He caressed your soft globes, you hummed excitedly, almost moaning at the delicate touch. “If I hadn’t done this previously I would’ve assumed you didn’t know what this was. Is that true? Are you a stupid girl who doesn’t know what a spanking is?” he cooed, his hand grabbing you hip harshly, fingers digging into your skin.

You grunted, knowing with this much pressure he would leave bruises along you skin for days, weeks even.

“It’s not pleasant, at least not the way I do it, remember? It’s gonna hurt, way more than a few soft taps.”

“I’m hoping for it,” you replied back, surprised by your own response and enthusiasm.

“Oh yeah?” he also seemed surprised, pleasantly surprised. A wicked smile was plastered on his face, searching your eyes with his own. “How long have you been wanting this for? I mean, you’re so obedient. I cant help but assume you’ve fantasized about this ever since last time,” his grip of your hair tightened, you smiled up at him devilishly.

“I’ve been wanting this since I last saw you.”

“Good answer,” he smirked. “Are you ready?”

You nodded quickly, arching your back as the tension builds up in your body.

“An even better answer." his fingertips glided againsty the curve of your back. "I don’t care if you scream or cry, in fact it would make this more enjoyable,” he hummed, pulling on your hair. “Now sit still.”

Kakashis hand came down hard on your backside, a loud slap echoed in your ears. You let out a depraved moan, biting your lip as the stinging starting to settle on your asscheek. He took a moment to take in the look on your face, ogling the flush of color across your cheeks. Quicker, and much harder this time, he struck you again with his ever-so-firm hand.

You whined, squirming in his lap until he spanked you again. After his next, you dug your nails into the mattress beneath you, huffing deep breaths in and out. Kakashi laughs softly, watching your soft ass turn a bright pink as he punished you.

“How many can you handle? You want me to get creative?” he asked happily, softly rubbing circles on your abused skin.

“Y-yesss…” your voice was trembling.

“If you say so. But it makes me wonder… how much pain can this pretty little ass take?”

“I deserve it, we both know I’ve been bad,” you mutter, nails coming out of the mattress as you slowly began to get less tense with each rub of Kakashis hand.

“Yes you have,” Kakashi exclaimed amused. “Do you know how bad? Answer me.” He smacked you again, and all you could muster was a string of whimpers and groans, no real words coming to your mind.

“Answer me properly. I don’t want to hear your little moans. I want a real answer. Tell me what you’ve done.”

“I… I’ve kept you a secret…” you whispered, your hand stroking his knee. “And the worst part is I’ve been fantasizing about you this whole time.”

“Interesting. For how long, give me a number.” He pulls your hair, tilting your face upwards so your eyes are locked.

“8 weeks,” you confess, looking away to avoid his strong gaze.

“8 weeks? How filthy have you been? What’s the most inappropriate thing you’ve fantasized about me doing?” He pulled your hair tighter, forcing you to look back at him.

“I’ve thought about you defiling me.” Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

“That’s all? I’m not going to lie, I expected more from you.” His hand move from your ass to your hip, once again squeezing it tightly. You winced.

“I-I’ve thought about you waking me up just so you can use me to get yourself off,” you blurted out. Kakashi perked up, much more interested.

“Anything else? You’ve had 8 weeks,” clearly he was having fun toying with you. It felt like torture dumping your fantasies onto him, but you couldn’t help spilling your guts.

“I’ve thought about pleasuring you.”

“Go on.” His grip became looser, yet still firm.

“I’d use my mouth.” He smirked.

“Is that all?” You wanted to melt into his lap, escape his massive presence.

“And my hands…”

“Well, don’t you have a plethora of talents,” he teased, bringing his hand back and quickly down his to your ass. You flinched, but before he could make contact he stopped himself, laughing softly. Your face burned hot.

“Anything else? I mean, 8 whole weeks is a looong time,” he raised his eyebrow again, looking directly in your eyes.

“Well…”

“Spit it out, don’t be a tease. I know you can say more.” His words made your skin tingle.

“I’ve thought about how mad you were at me, ignoring me all the time at the office. So I thought about trying to rile you up, get you even angrier. Just so maybe you’d snap and use me without holding back.” He loosened his grip on you.

“You really want that? For me to take my frustration out on you?”

“Yes.” You gripped his knee tighter.

“You really are a bad girl, aren’t you?” He smirked, grip getting firmer in your hair again.

“I am.”

“Do you have no shame? Ass in the air, panties off, pussy soaking wet, and looking me in my eye while you tell me about all the filth you’ve imagined about me. Sweet girl, you’re more perverted than I thought.” He pulled your hair back further, his mouth connected with your more a quick kiss.

“I bet you’ll say anything at this point if it’ll make me happy, huh? You’ve completely given yourself to me, isn’t that right?” With lidded eyes you nodded looking up at him.

“Are you mine to use?” Amused curiousity lingering in his voice.

“Yes.” Right after you confirmed this, another rough smack was right up against your ass. You yelped, once again digging your finger into the mattress.

“You like that, don’t you? You like getting hit by me.” You nod. Another rough smack. “Say it.” he practically barked.

“I- I like it! I like getting hit by you!” You wanted to curl up in embarrassment, once again hoping nobody could hear you. Kakashi had a wicked look on his face.

“I wonder how many times can I hit this ass of yours before you cry? Are you a tough girl?” He asked condescendingly.

“Yes…” He hit you harder, producing a loud moan out of you. He laughed.

“Are you tough or what? You seem to be enjoying this more than I expected,” this time he struck you lower, so that his palm was right up against the back of your thigh. You desperately squirm again, breathing shakily. He hits you there again, smiling to himself.

“Oh? Am I hitting a sensitive spot?” You almost shrieked when he smacked it again. “So I did find a sensitive spot,” he leaned down closely so that that he was almost in your ear.

“I’m going to keep smacking you, riiight here until your crying and begging me to stop.” And that’s what he did. Over and over again, watching as you rubbed your legs together, slick coating the feverish in-between of your legs.

“How many more spanks can you get before you cry? 10? 20? I know you can take it,” he kept spanking you, each one lighting you up until your ass was red. As he spanked you, he enjoyed watching your eyes roll back, your whimpers echo softly in your room, and your body spasm after each moment of contact.

“You must nearly be at the edge, huh?” Your eyes rolled back to normal, welling with tears. “Awww, is that it? Is that all you can take?”

He delivered the final blow, you moaned loudly, tears flowing down your cheeks. You felt lightheaded, pain and pleasure circulating inside of you. The erotic sensation making it's way up your spine, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up.

“Aww… did I do that? Did I make the tough, pretty girl cry?” You nod, unable to verbalize a single thought. “Such a good girl, taking it like a champ. I have to say, I admire how well you kept your composure… well at least most of it.”

He pulled your hair back, your head coming closer to him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You shut your eyes and bit your lip, your heart melting at his sudden tender affection.

While still having a good grasp of your pony tail, Kakashi slung you over to the side, trapping you against him and the bed. He had you pinned, your wrists above your head. When he towered his large form over you his lips brushed against yours, his scent was everywhere. You closed your eyes again, and felt how his eyelashes fluttered against your cheek as he bent down lower and licked up your neck.

You smirked, a sudden tickle causing you to slightly spasm, Kakashi laughed softly when he saw it. He instead turned to biting you, the feeling of his teeth in your neck filled you with the most euphoric nostalgia. You sighed, legs bending so your knees could squeeze his waist. He rutted his hips into your core, and you shuddered as the wet juices pooled in your cunt and trickled down your legs.

Kakashi looked up at you, lips curled into a cocky smile, pressing softly against your own. You parted your lips, his soft tongue dragging along your plump lip, before his teeth gently trapped it and he bit into it possessively. You never started the day thinking he'd be showing up at your old home, about to fuck you senseless into the mattress you've spent countless nights on. It seemed to you like Kakashi's fate was to always appear, and so was your passionate desire for him.

Kakashi's kiss could make your loins ache like a wildfire, yet it could also make your breaths slow and your heart melt. Maybe it was fate?

I am safe here. His arms are open, his tongue is tender, and I don't need to struggle anymore.

Its all you could think about, really.

Two fingers circled your drenched clit, Kakashi watched your hole clench around nothing. He licked his lips watching your pretty cunt swallow his didgets shortly after, curling up as he pumped in and out.

“She’s so pretty…” he hummed, his knuckles now shiny with your arousal.

Your toes curled the more he pumped you, his fingers working fast. You roughly grabbed his wrist, stopping his movement. He looked up at you, a single brow cocked.

“Something wrong?” his voice was smooth, eyes soft as they watched you with adoration.

“T-that’s not what I need…” You murmured, breathing in and out as if you’d pass out.

“Tell me, what do you-“

“Cock. Yours.” You demanded. Kakashis eyes grew wide, a sinister grin plastered in his face. He retracted his fingers from your cunt, a silent moan escaped your lips when he moved.

“I never thought I’d have you so needy, sweet girl.” Kakashis hand traveled to his waistbands and pulled them down, hard cock slapped against his body con shirt, precum making his tip glisten.

“I can’t help it.” You admitted, your eyes breaking away from his to stare at his erection. Your legs spread wide, and you wriggled excitedly.

Kakashi ducked down to kiss you, cupping your cheeks as he rutted against you, his length rubbing up and down against your clit. You moaned into the kiss, a smile on your face as your pleasure spread. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, getting even closer as you two enjoyed eachothers embrace.

Kakashis tongue made its appearance in your mouth again, the soft tip of his tongue swirling with yours, just to retreat and wetten your lower lip.

“Don’t tease me…” you whispered, breaking the kiss only to resume it quickly. He laughed gently, his hand moving south to grab the base of his cock and align it with your entrance.

“Well, aren’t you one to talk?” With one swift motion he went balls deep inside of you again, a shiver running up his back as he bottomed out, his public bone flush with your clit.

You both grunted, then began to lock lips as his hips drilled into you. You both knew you didn’t want to waste any time, each time he bottomed out you grounded down on him further, feeling his warm precum coat your walls as your own arousal spilled out and onto the sheets.

“Always wet for me…” he smiled, kissing down your jaw.

His cock was heavy, stretching you perfectly and throbbing each time it hit that tender spot inside of you that made you digs crescents into his back with your nails. He loved watching your lashes flutter when your eyes rolled back, and he devoured your lips whenever they opened to produce a guttural moan.

“I love you…” Kakashi cooed, a finger of his now playing with your clit.

“Love you- haaah- too…” you replied with a whine between words.

Kakashi pulls your shirt off of you, then quickly grabs both your wrists in one hand. He pins you down, and you’re unable to move. He retracts his hand from your clit and presses his forearm under your tits, pushing them up and drooling at how pretty they sit. He ducks down and sucks a nipple, his soft tongue spreading hot spit over your sensitive tits. He moans, cock throbbing as you pulse around him.

He looks up at you, your face red and forehead slightly sweaty. Fuck, you look so sexy. He groans your name, biting your tit, sucking a hickey into the soft flesh in his mouth. You’re seeing stars, vision blurry as your orgasm comes washing over you. You’re whimpering his name, shaking and yet unable to move under his massive presence. He lets go of your tit in his mouth and watched over you. You were his own personal porn star, cumming for him- cumming on him. Whimpering his name as you choke his girthy cock and take him while he resizes your cunt.

“Filthy… you’re making such a mess.” His pace was quicker now, your cries of pleasure louder as he beats your pussy into the mattress. “Bad girl…” he hums low, almost a growl.

You can’t fight back the violent euphoria, your poor cunt wants more of him, regardless as to whether or not you can take it.

“S’ good…” you mewl, erotic and soft squelches filling your ears as he continues to stuff you with his member, his own orgasm on its precipice.

“You really are a slut of this cock, huh?” he teased, thrusting hard, keeping his dick stuffed deep inside you as he pressed his pelvis against your clit. His nails dig into your wrists, your fingers try to grab onto him but you just can’t reach.

“No more playing games,” he grunts, a hand letting go of your wrists to wrap around your throat firmly. You gasp, your air running thin. “You want me?” His hips retreat, then slam harsh inside of you. You wince, eyes snapping shut when you moan.

“Tsk tsk, look at me.” you follow his order, your brows knitted tightly together, looking up at him through your lashes. His teeth glimmer as he grins mischievously, his grip on your neck tightening. “Nah, you need me.”

You feel like you’re about to pass out again, legs shaking viciously and you felt light headed.

“My body always misses this pussy… fucking made for me.” He nips at your jaw, railing you at the one pace he knows you and he both like it. “Mine.”

He wants to mark you up, leave you purple for everyone to see. So when he notices how hard it is for you to breathe he lets go, and takes delight in how you choke for air. He sucks deeply at your neck, throbbing inside you when he imagines how it’ll look after.

“M’gonna cum again…” you almost plead, hips tilting up to meet his own, welcoming his gorgeous cock back inside of you where you knew it belonged.

“I bet you want me to cum inside you,” he mutters, letting go on your sensitive skin before he sucks another purple bruise into your neck.

“Please.” Is all you manage, your slick now running down your ass.

“Always a slut for my cum…” He bites your shoulder, his tongue licking at the red skin underneath. “Can’t fuck you once without you begging for a creampie.”

You cum for a second time, begging for his hot cum to fill you up and pour out. Kakashi complies, a few more rough thrusts and he’s pumping you full of his burning seed, you feel impossibly full as you throw your head back. Kakashi moans heavily, still pumping you with his cock, loving the way you squirt on him with your own spend.

“You can play with yourself thinking about this tonight,” he says low, kissing you hard while he continues to shoot ropes into you. You twitch, legs spasming as your orgasm refuses to subside.

“N-no. I wanna be with you tonight! I wanna do it again!” You beg, wrapping your legs even tighter around him. His eyes widen and he licks your neck playfully.

“My sweet girl, if I bring you home with me tonight I won’t stop until the sun comes up.”

“I’m prepared to lose a few hours of sleep if it means I can spend them being your whore.” You respond shamelessly. He lets go of your wrist and you grab the back of his head, fully making out with him as you play with his silver mess. “I love you. I don’t care anymore.”

Kakashi hums in delight, pulling out of you, your shared cum sticking to his own thighs now.

“You mean you’re all mine?” He knew the answer.

“Mmhmm… And I’m sorry about the way I was acting before…” You admitted, hands running in his hair.

Kakashi rested his face against your tits, his arms wrapped around your waist.

“What do you mean? I should be sorry. I shouldn’t have been such a scummy person to make you choose me or your career, especially when I knew how much you love it.” His voice was soft and somber, you kissed the crown on his head.

“We both messed up, yeah?” You slightly giggled.

“Yeah,” he laughed back. “If you’re sure about going into this war with me I want you to know something.” He picked his head up, towering over you again. His palm rested against your cheek as his eyes looked deep into yours.

“I don’t care who we’re facing or what we’re up against. I don’t care who’s getting hurt but I do know one thing,” His brows furrowed. “I’m not leaving your side once. I’ll cover you, I’ll fight for you, I swear I’ll kill for you- I already have and I will again if I have to.”

He softly kissed the tip of your nose.

“That goes for me too,” you sighed, one of your hands caressed his shoulder. He grabbed that hand and kissed the back of it, then pulled you off the bed.

You two got dressed, although you chose to change into a turtle neck, and went downstairs. The restaurant was more packed and there was chatter all around, the nerves you may have been heard upstairs disappearing completely.

Percy turned around when Kakashi approached the seat next to him and reclaimed his seat. You walked around the counter and began to wipe it down. Your father came out from behind the curtain that led to the kitchen.

“Here’s that sandwich,” Your dad said, handing your boyfriend the plated food. “Enjoy, son.”

“Son?” Kakashi asked, taking a look around to see if people were watching him. When the coast was clear he quickly lowered his mask for a bite, then put it back on.

Nobody could see the smile underneath he had while he chewed, but you noticed the crinkle underneath his eyes.

“Not bad,” Percy said, polishing off his meal. “What’d you think, Kakashi?”

“Yeah,” he looked up from his plate, watching as you walked around the restaurant, taking orders and handing out drinks. “It was good.” It tasted like home.

A/N: after a much needed break/hiatus i’m finally back RAAAAHHHHH !!!!!!! for everyone asking if i plan on continuing the mafia AU yes i do but i feel like it’ll be a small mini series.

[ace-of-gay]

I currently dont have a masterlist set up for this collection but i hope you enjoy this none the less, this will eventually be posted on ao3 but i dont have an account currently

Not betad or edited

Warnings: age regression, self neglect (not eating, not sleeping, etc.) slight panicked reader but not nearly enough to be a full warning, reader is a half ghoul half human cause this is my interpretation of a fantasy universe <3, cuddles!!!

age regression is a coping that can both voluntary and/or involuntary it is entirely safe and reccomended by therapists if they believe it would be effective for said person but as mentioned for some people it is entirely unpredictable, if this makes you uncomfortable please carry on thank you <3

This was originally written for my best friend so keep in mind this is our dream and thoughts and may not fit well into the ghost universe

Word count: 2,025 words

Nameless ghouls and papa copia taking care of half ghoul reader

Having spent a restless night wasnt uncommon for your or any of the ghouls, especially when seasons and elements were changing, you spent a good few weeks of the tour in your element but the farther and farther you traveled to bring enlightenment to others around the world the more the weather seemed to shift, this most recent nights travel not only took you to a new scene and new spirit of buzzing thrill but a stiffened weight of being completely out of your element, while yes it effects all ghouls it affected you far different.

Being part ghoul meant you weren't as aware of your instincts so feeling them shift always left you in a silent suffocating shock.

With so much bustle amongst the ghouls, papa having a chipper edge to his seemingly endless worries it kept the team heightened and moving, preparing and running through the setlist, this will be the biggest show yet in a city youre entirely new to.

You hid the encroaching feeling well, never once had any of the ghouls questions any difference to your demeanor; having one responsibility after another kept you busy all day nevery staying in one area for long, earbuds in and mask upon your dome, it was same as others methods of preparing just more secluded and in your zone, if there were any changes in anything at all papa, the ghouls and ghoulettes knew that they could calmly inturupt you in your flow.

Listening to every part of the setlist through the literal audio versions of it, everything on the outside seemed normal to everyone but the electric vibrations in your joints and dull ache in your head told you plenty, to the others you were staying silent to save your voice for later so to speak but to you the weight of speaking was way heavier than your desire to ask for help or for rest.

With the show quickly approaching and you having forgotten to eat you downed not one but two energy drinks, spiking youre adrenaline temporarily in hopes itd get you through the show.

All you had to do was get through the night off of artificial energy and true passion for others joy. Just like the full ghouls you spent your time during the show in your human form but unlike them you had a harder time forcing it to stay when you were exhausted.

Papa copia unbeknownst to you had his eye on you, hes the only one who saw you this morning, the deep bags under your eyes and your ghoulish grey having a pale green seemingly sickly color easily masked by your helmet, if all went well youd rest for extra tonight but he didn't see that being the only end to the night.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

You were a fan favorite, when you weren't singing backup vocals you were running around stage with your hagstorm base shredding in duos with swiss, bursts of fire being shot upwards, the only time you stay away from the edge of the stage, the light from the fire glinting against the slightly matte chrome picguard, just enough to catch you right in the eye blurring your vision with a blinding flash.

to the congregation watching below your jolts you send into moving your bass guitar looked like flare but for you it was sheer panic, the blinding flash was just enough to put you on the edge of tipping into a deeply unwanted headspace at the moment.

prancing over to where mountain is perched at his drums you take yourself out of the limelight and hide yourself in the downcast shadows from his drums, with the last three chords being extended for showmanship you give a desperate glance to papa with hope that he'll see your glance, and such he does.

You station yourself once more at your mic, you stum the starting chords and belt out backup vocals for the final song, your throat aches as your human form is slipping, your eyes having small flickers of change and a small stumble thankfully met with a stomp on the down beat.

papa makes his way your direction ending the set list with 'Darkness at the heart of my love', when it gets to the part without vocals he does hand flourishes while you play your bass passing by with his mic down "tieni duro piccolo", walking his way around the stage to stand center and finish up the song.

In a blurr of time everything felt like it was on sparks of muscle memory and you were at the front with all other ghouls taking a well deserved bow with a standing ovation for each and every single one of you.

Papa copia was the first to lead off stage letting the ghouls throw picks and a few drumsticks from mountain and what not, you didn't stay long to see everything but you did notice people throwing things onstage as gifts; off stage setting down your bass in a stand you stumble into papas open arms.

Your forehead lay gently atop his chest still in your helmet your horns sit near his collar bone shaking yohr head, "i cant papa, i cant" not entirely sure yourself what you meant he hummed in understanding and hushed you, gently rubbing your back and swaying side to side, "stai bene piccolo ghoul, you can rest now. Ive got you, matter of factly weve got you"

Finally relaxing enough to let your ghoul form fall free, your tail limp all of you is exhausted and you feel so small but people always said it was weird and not good, they never listened to you when you said it was involuntary or a coping mechanism it was just permanently bad.

"Oh piccolo, shh your thoughts are so very loud my dear, it is okay to be small, the ministry welcomes all with coping, we will care of you"

He holds you closer and tighter humming a tune, and just like that your walls had fallen, there was no more fighting it, big doe ghoulish eyes staring up at him, complete silence from you.

At this point the others had made their way backstage, dew came walking over to take over while papa helped collect all the instruments. "Dew, could you please take them to the bus? We will get everything "

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》in the bus now and changed in comfortable clothes dew led you to the ghoul pile nest, when you refused to sit down he stepped aside watching as you grab your comfort item from your personal bunk and made your way back to the nest laying in the center, followed by him curling himself around you.

The ghouls only ever took their helmets off when in a homely environment so dew having his helmet off was his symbol of saying you are safe.

Once everyone had finished packing up and putting stuff away they had all filed in slowly

Cumulus being the first to stop by you and dew at the nest, holding out a plush ghoul for you that she had picked up from the items thrown on stage, papa copia was next to stop by sitting with you and dew, you hadnt noticed until now that he was asleep holding onto you until mountain joined pulling him off of you so you could lean into papa as he held one of your comfort snacks and a juice, both already having been opened by him, he held you as you snacked.

Once you had finished he got up going to the front to drive the bus.

You were once more pulled into the cuddle pile by dewdrop his eyes open long enough to make sure all of your comfort items were tucked against your chest, between you both, "sleep little one, a tiny ghoul needs plenty of rest" soon joined by the rest you had finally fallen asleep, the ghouls were your element aswell. When finally at the hotel for the evening you were carefully awoken by papa, all the ghouls except dew had gotten up, but even he was awake, but he stayed to keep you warm, "it is time to go in, we are buddy system tonight, four ghouls in a room, each room has two king sized beds so its plentyful room"

You finally let go of dew and stretch, getting up to get ready you realize your overnight bag has already been packed and one of the taller ghouls hoodies layed out next to it, you could hear the ruckus at the front of the bus of all the other ghouls ready to bunk up in the hotel.

You slip on the hoodie which you now know belongs to swiss, his smell encapsulating your mind.

Papa comes up behind you placing a hand on your back "piccolo the ghouls have decided you can pick who youre bunking with, they want to be sure youre okay when tiny, loro ti amano"

You make your way to the front of the bus where you find the ghouls with their charm up. looking to papa followed by you tapping swiss, rain and mountain on the heads, the three stand up, mountain takes your bag and rain scurrys away and back with your mask in hand "are you able to use charm right now or is the mask a better option?" He questions

Taking a moment to test how well the charm feels, you point at the mask. Nodding he gently places it atop your head, he places his hand under your chin causing you to look up so he can buckle it up and tan pats you atop your head, swiss gently pulls the back of the hoodie at the bottom away from your back "curl your tail tiny" tucking it under the hoodie

Once in the room mountain sets down the bags he was carrying and helped take the mask off of your noggin, ruffling your hair causing you to chirp in response, rain and swiss hop on the bed closest to the door leaving the one near the window "copia is ordering food for everyone, hes getting youre favorite for you" mountain chimes, grabbing to tv channel guide and flipping through it.

"Movie?" You mumble causing all three of them to look over, normally youre completely silent when youre small, "you wanna watch a movie?" He questions flicking on the tv and sitting on the bed, he turns on Wall-E for you.

Sometime a few minutes later he feels you shuffle closer on the bed cuddling into his side with your comfort item in hand.

After dinner was delivered and eaten and the movie was over you had tucked yourself on your side of the bed you shared with mountain, rains lamp still on so he could read while swiss was practically cuddled ontop of him, every time you would shift or turn in bed they could hear it, causing them to watch you carefully when youd move or grumble is dissatisfaction.

there was just no way to get comfortable, this wasnt home or the bus, you werent wrapped in your family, you huff out rolling over to look at mountain, to your suprise he was looking right at you quizically.

You quickly curl into his side before he got the chance to say anything, "o parum ghoul, mi amor, papa is right, your thoughts really are so very loud" swiss sighs, pulling himself out of his bed followed by rain who lay on your open side and swiss next to mountain, it may not be a perfect ghoul pile but its better than before, rolling over when rain pulls out his book to read aloud, your head on his chest.

listen to the thrum and Rumble deep in his chest, your eyes fall closed but not before you wrap your tail around swiss' wrist where it resides clutched around mountain, your mind will feel fresh and lively tomorrow filed with the itmost of energy, especially after an evening full of cuddles and littlespace, rain places a gentle kiss atop your head and just like that you are asleep.

[z3rinn]

# #. BATHTUB MERMAID.

in which your daily walks on the beach have been becoming more eventful as time passes. But after finding a certain scale, you feel as if you’re being watched at every turn.

this was a little unedited idea I came up with for halloween!! I wrote that Azul has scales when octopi dont- so uh-. slight yandere content up ahead !! hope you guys enjoy !! also- new header !! wdyt??

❝ rise and fall silver moon ❞

You never believed in mythical creatures.

The beach had become a safe spot for you throughout the years. It was still and serene; a place where life's problems sunk into the deep ocean before you.

The ocean had always been mysterious. It was a deep and spacious space, the beginning of life so to say. It held a sense of tranquility, yet alongside that, unpredictability.

The Sea held emotions. It could be violent and vicious, yet benevolent and peaceful. Perhaps this is what led to your fascination with the sea and its inhabitants. It's creatures.

The ocean reflected beauty, showing the world its colors and scales, it was a place creatures could thrive. However the deeper you go, the more terrifying it gets, showing what could be awaiting you in the unknown. 

The human imagination was vast, and could come up with many creatures and ideas. There were vampires and werewolves, Cryptids and Ghosts- all fantastical tales made up by the imagination.

The Sea had its own creatures as well, mermaids, yet similarly known as sirens. They were fantastical stories, usually depicted by sailors and legends. They were beings similar to humans, well, only half of them that is.

They were only half man, with long beautiful tails from the waist down. They were akin to fish, luring others with their songs and beauty. Their majestic colours aiding them.

A fishermens tale, as they say. You didnt believe in the stories, no matter how scary they could get. Scientifically it couldn’t be proven.

However, these legends didnt deter you from the ocean.

Now, on a dark night like this, where the silver moon lit up the sky, there shouldn't have been anything to worry about. It was an ideal night, peaceful and soothing.

The wind breezed across your face, brushing against skin and cloth. It was a chilly night, the cold ocean and air made a combination that was welcomed.

You walked slowly across the shore line, feeling the sand between your toes. It was soft and rocky, a texture you had frown accustomed to. The sand had significantly cooled compared to the burning heat from the morning, it felt nice against your skin.

You glanced behind you, seeing how far away you traveled from the lifeguard. You couldn't help but take notice of the tide that erased your footsteps.

It was if the world was erasing you.

Well, you wouldve thought that if it were for the black scale that washed up on shore.

And wow was it pretty.

You gently picked the scale up, rubbing off any remaining sand in the way.

You gaped in awe, cradling it in your hands. No way this could be real. Not with how beautiful it was.

The scale reminded you of an obsidian stone. Smooth and soft to the touch. It oddly resembled hard candy in your opinion.

You turned it over, noting that it was also very shiny. It looked like holographic sparkles with the way they shone against the moons silver light. Shifting it back and forth you could see bits of purple and blue reflecting in the moonlight.

It seriously looked like a jewel. Perfectly crafted and precise.

Hm.

You pocketed the scale. Continuing on with your walk. It's not like anyone would miss it right? In the end it was just another scale. No one would miss it.

You had keep reminding yourself of that. As the feeling of someone watching you became more apparent.

❝ mirror covered in chalky steam ❞

Showers weren't uncommon to take when coming home from the beach. In fact they were usually welcomed and desired.

Although going to the beach almost everyday you still couldn't get used to the feeling of sand everywhere.

It was so uncomfortable.

The need to get the grimy sand off was strong. And the urge to just pour clean water all over you was overwhelming. You just had to clean yourself of this dirt.

A light sigh escaped your lips as you stepped into the bathroom, ridding yourself of your clothes while turning the water on. Luckily this time you didn't go for a swim, so just a quick rinse would suffice.

But alas with some more thought you decided, sometimes a long bath was nice once in a while.

Grabbing your phone, you put a playlist on. The one you specifically made for your long walks on the beach. It could still work good enough, right?

A smile formed on your face as you stepped into the bathtub, hot water enveloping your body. It was a nice contrast against the beaches cold air.

You sunk deeper into the tub, unknowingly letting sleep sink its claws deep into you.

The last thing you saw was an array of sharp teeth above you, a soft, yet comforting voice lulling out a song. A pair of gold and grey eyes hypnotizing you, a spell to put you at ease. To sleep.

However, you were too far gone. And while your heart lept with adrenaline and fear, the drowsy feeling wasn't going away. No matter how much you screamed at yourself to get up you couldn’t. You could only feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper into the water around you.

And you could've sworn you felt a hand cover your eyes.

Slimy and webbed.

❝ touch me, touch me, kiss me to sleep ❞

It was another day at the beach. Another day where the cool air brushed across you, consuming your being whole. It was a quiet day- or was one.

You glanced over at the sea from your spot under the bright blue parasol, contrasting the dark sky. Waves crashed, yelling ensued. All fun and games it seemed.

Being at the beach usually meant a time just for yourself. However this time you accompanied by your brother- and his oddly annoying friends.

Usually on days like this you relaxed, watching them play with a volleyball like they were in the big leagues. You'd only ever get up when someone hit the ball too far off- being ever so kind to help them out.

Just as you were doing now.

A groan left your lips as you stood up, watching the beach ball drift further away from you. It'd be a run to get it.

Your feet patterned against the sand, moving into a slight jog to catch up with the ball. However, every time you begun to creep closer to the ball it drifted away. It was weird.

It want long before you caught up to the ball, the wind blowing through your hair as you observed your surroundings. You'd stopped in front of the monstro cave.

The monstro cave, a place where many had gone 'missing'. Apparently a place so deep that many generations got lost in its caverns.

You'd never believe these legends of course, there was absolutely no reason to. If the cave was so dangerous, why hadnt it been blocked off yet? And with modern technology it wasn't hard to get help if ever lost.

However, it wasn't hard to get frightened by the cave. The legends and vibe of the corridor could easily freak someone out.

Almost everyone was scared of the cave at some point.

You glanced up into the cavern, noting the cold air that poured from it. Before stopping in your tracks.

And your heart sank.

A yellow eye stared up at you from the darkness. A singlular eye. Staring. Watching.

It was wide, and almost downturned, glowing in the darkness as it just watched. It gazed deeply into your form, never breaking contact with your eyes.

You could hear the ocean water crashing behind you, almost as if it was angry.

Your body screamed at you to move, your heart pounding in your chest. But you were frozen still.

The eye squinted, scrutinizing your form. A gut feeling hung over you, whoever it was took pleasure in your horror.

You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move. You had to move---

You slowly stepped back. A shaky sigh left your lips, the sense of fear washing over you, tenfold. Perhaps it was time to go.

Yes, you never believed in mythical creatures. But it was hard to forget all these encounters.

❝ im a bathtub mermaid ❞

[042502]

Little Kiss // M. Sturniolo x Reader.

SYNOPSIS: Trouble in paradise, don't worry, your lover Matt will give you a good time so you can forget your husband.

WARNINGS: Infidelity, married reader, manipulative Matt, obscene language, juicy sex, lovers, among others

NOTES: My first language is not English, so if you find any grammatical errors you already know why :)

MASTERLIST!!

"Bye Emmett."

and hung up. She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed by the fact that Matt saw her crying and just cried silently. When suddenly he felt Matt's hands on his face, removing his own. You didn't make any effort and when he looked ahead, you meet Matt's eyes that were looking at her with concern.

"Dont cry please. He doesn't deserve your tears" he mentions, as he ran his thumb over his cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"Take me Home. Please" she asked.

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again. He shook his head and nodded.

"Okay. Let's go."

It had been two days since you last spoke to Emmett. And although with each passing day she felt even more hurt by the fact that he had been unfaithful to her, He couldn't deny that he was partly grateful that he was away from her. This way I could spend more time with Matt and enjoy his company.

Matt was smiling as he watched you cook. Yes, she could definitely be the perfect wife. Today he was with her. Since you invited him to lunch at your house, he didn't think twice and went.

"May I help you?" Matt asked, intending to help.

"Yes. You can set the table, I'll finish preparing lunch here."

Matt nodded and disappeared into the main dining room. Some time later, they were both having lunch together and enjoying a pleasant conversation.

When your cell phone started ringing and you stood up to answer it somewhere else, Matt took the moment to get up and walk around the house. He entered a room which he deduced was where you slept. She frowned when she saw a double bed. An image of you with a man who would be Emmett making love came to mind. Without meaning to, Matt growled loudly. His jaw was tense. He shook his head and an image of you sleeping in bed, alone and suffering from your husband's deception flashed through his mind. He clenched his fists. How she wanted to take Emmett's place, to let him know she wasn't alone, and to be able to make love to him again and again...

A ray of light came straight into his eyes when he tried to take a step, and only then did he realize that in the same room there was another door that gave access to some other room. The door was ajar and when he entered, his jaw dropped. It was your painting studio. There were paintings everywhere, some hanging, while others on the tables. Brushes and paints were on the floor. Everything was messy, but the paintings gave joy to the place.

Suddenly, he heard the door close. Matt turned around and saw you leaning against the door.

"I finally find you" walking towards him. "What are you doing?"

"I was just looking at your paintings" as he turned his gaze towards the paintings. "They are great."

"Thank you. The only thing I hope is that they are good enough to win the contest." smiled.

"They are. Believe me, I have faith that you will win.

Matt looked at her and took the moment to study her profile. His lips were parted and he had an immense desire to eat her with kisses. Biting his lip, Matt tried to control the urge to kiss you again, but he just couldn't and against his will, he found himself reaching out towards you, framing tentatively. You watch him and realizing his intention, you instinctively step back.

"No" you responded. "I'm married."

He growled.

"I swear if I hear you say that one more time I will fuck you without mercy and I won't care what you say."

Your face turned pale. A cloud of lust passed through Matt's eyes.

"You would not dare" you stutter.

"Of course" smiled wickedly. "But now, I want you to do me a favor."

"Which?"

"I would like you to make a portrait of me"

You bite your lip, and unconsciously, your eyes roam over Matt's body from head to toe.

"Do you want me to draw you?" you ask, staring at his shirt that hid killer abs underneath.

"Yes. I think you could make a good portrait of me" He smiled and for a moment you felt seduced by his smile.

"Mmh... Ok. I will try to draw you."

You walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains aside to let the light flood into the room. Then he moved an armchair, somewhat worn, and placed it in the middle of the room.

"Sit here" You point your finger at him.

Matt obeyed and sat where you indicated. While I tied your hair in a ponytail, you walk and take out your easel that was leaning in the corner to position it in front of Matt, far enough from him to see him clearly. You take out all your paints and a new canvas to set out to paint. Once ready, you look up and meet Matt's eyes looking at you carefully.

"Place your elbow on the edge of the chair and lean firmly on the backrest."

Matt obeyed.. You frown.

"Adjust your hair well to one side."

"Thus?" asked, running a hand through his hair and ruffling it.

"No" You shook your head. Then you walk until you are in front of him and bend down a little to sink your fingers into his hair and comb it. Closing the eyes, Matt hissed in pleasure and enjoyed the sensation of being caressed by your soft hands. She wondered where else on his body she could touch him, but quickly pushed that thought out of her mind. You remove your hands from his hair and for a split second Matt had the impulse to ask you not to stop touching him. "Just like that" you whisper "Do not move."

You move away to resume your previous posture. Matt’s eyes followed you. Raising one hand, slide the brush over the canvas and start painting. Matt reached out and rested his hand on her chin, rhythmically stroking her bottom lip with his index finger. You frown at him.

"Don't do that. It distracts me."

Matt's lips trembled and you knew he was fighting the urge to smile, but he finally caught himself and lowered his hand from his lips.

Some time later, you were almost finished. It was dusk, and the light was coming straight at Matt from the window, illuminating his handsome face.

"I'm almost done" she spoke, looking up to see him. "Aren't you bored?"

"Baby, I could stay here all day watching you."

You blush, and then return your eyes to the canvas to finish the painting. Ten minutes later, you sigh contentedly and set the brush aside, stepping back a little and admiring your painting approvingly.

"I've finished now" still with his eyes fixed on the painting. Matt got up from the couch and walked over.

"It turned out great on you" He reached out towards the painting, intending to touch it, but quickly pulled it back when you knocked. "Ow! What?"

"Do not touch her. The paint is still fresh" You glare at him.

He snorted. You are laughing.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want it to get ruined." you smile. A smile so damn perfect it made even Matt cringe.

Matt locked his eyes on your lips, for like the umpteenth time that day. They tempted him.

"All I want is to kiss you" admitted. "Is it too much to ask?"

"For a married woman it is."

"But he cheated on you."

"I know. But please don't repeat it to me again." you ask and suddenly your voice broke. "It hurts me to hear it."

"I'm sorry" He apologized. "It's just that I'm jealous. You don't know how much I envy your husband having these lips just for him." He reached out his hand and caressed your lip with his thumb. You smacked your lips and Matt moaned. "Baby, wouldn't you be able to share, even for a second, these lips with me?"

You look it. You wanted to kiss him too. Very much.

"Alright. But just a small kiss" You agree, suddenly blushing.

"A little kiss" he repeated. "That was enough for me."

And before you could speak again, Matt leaned in and kissed you. You close your eyes and receive the kiss by wrapping your arms around his neck. Matt grunted as your tongue caressed his, and unconsciously, he found himself clinging closer to him and kissing her desperately.

Matt's lips never left yours as he began to walk, forcing you to back away and fall into the chair where he was sitting seconds ago. You straddle him and break the kiss, moaning as Matt's hands slide to your ass and squeeze it, bringing you closer to his hard erection. And damn, how much it turned him on to have you on top of him, with your sexes rubbing against each other.

"Oh, shit" Matt growled.. "If you make me that hard with a simple kiss, I don't want to imagine what it will be like when I fuck you."

And he kissed you again. Your hands moved down to his chest and you heard Matt moan as you caressed him, cinching each of his muscles. He was very strong, and as you kissed him, you wondered how hard he could move if you had him inside you.

Matt's hands slowly moved up from your hips to your waist, framing each of your curves. He felt you shudder as he went up and he liked that.

"Do you like me touching you, sweet honey?" he asked with a rough voice.

You moan in response as his hands rested on your breasts, each hand on each breast. He caressed them over the fabric of your shirt and your nipples reacted instantly, hardening. You throw your head back, enjoying his touch and suddenly doubt arose within you. Were you doing the right thing by subjecting yourself to this? Would you be capable of being unfaithful to your husband?

Only then when Matt's hand slipped under your shirt were you able to react and you placed both hands on Matt's shoulders, pushing him away from you.

"Fuck, Matt, It was supposed to be just a little kiss..."

"It's not my fault you make me like this. Come on, I know you want it just like I do."

"I can not do it, im sorry." He tried to lift me up, but Matt stopped me by firmly grabbing my hips.

"Why not?"

"I am married."

Suddenly, a fury flashed through Matt's eyes that you had never seen before and it scared you. You stand up, but quickly find yourself trapped by Matt's arms that kept you cornered between the wall of the room and his body. Swallowing, you look up, meeting Matt's eyes staring at you with an anger that froze you.

"I'm sick of hearing that damn excuse" he complains through clenched teeth "Understand, your husband does not love you. If he really loved you he should never have been unfaithful to you."

Bile rose in your throat as you heard his cold words. You swallow, in a failed attempt to untie the knot that had formed in you.

"That is not true." you murmured "He loves me."

"No!" He slammed his fist into the wall, right on the side of your head. You startle. "Answer to me, Has he called you again?"

You shake your head, unable to articulate any words.

"You see it, If he really cared about you, he should already be here with you, and not on his fucking business trip. He does not love you."

Your eyes watered. You purse your lips, trying not to burst into tears, but before you could think clearly, you found yourself throwing yourself into Matt's arms and crying into his shoulder. Matt rubbed your back, and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head, still not letting go.

"You're right, Matt" you cry. "I'm a stupid. It's the truth, he doesn't love me. Oh, Why did this happen to me? Am I that bad of a wife?"

"Don't say that, you... you are perfect. You are not to blame for anything, it is your husband who is the idiot. you're just in love..."

You pull away from him a little, enough to look him in the eyes. Your eyes were filled with tears and Matt's heart sank.

"Please make me forget it. Help me forget it."

And that was just what Matt wanted to hear. A smile formed on his lips.

"Baby, I'll make you forget it and much more than that." He grabbed your chin and brought his lips closer. "I'll make you enjoy it as much as I do."

And he kissed you again with the same desperation as always.

You sigh as Matt set you down on the bed and started kissing his neck. Raising his hands to your neck, he buries his fingers in your hair and clenches his hands into fists, caressing him in a way that makes him moan with pleasure. Matt moved away a little and kissed you with a demand that left you breathless, while Matt's hands went down and unbuttoned the buttons of your shirt in an agile movement, one by one. He licked his lips as his eyes focused on a pretty white bra, which hugged and hid large breasts. Unable to take it anymore, Matt slid his hands behind your back to unhook her bra and capture one of her breasts with his mouth. You close your eyes, moaning and throwing your head back.

"You are so beautiful, sweet honey." his hot breath hitting her hardened nipple. "You drive Me crazy."

He said it in such an intimate way that it made her moan with pleasure, asking for more. You lower your hands to Matt's hips and grab the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off of him to reveal his torso. You rest your hands on it, each hand on each shoulder and you go down slowly, caressing. Matt's muscles tensed.

"Jesus ." he moaned. "I would like to know what other things your hands are used for besides painting..."

You smile at him and bite your lip, then undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants. You gasp when you see his huge erection, covered by the thin fabric of his boxers. Tentatively, you reach out to touch him and the moment your fingers brushed against his erection, he groaned.

"Baby, I really wish you could do that again, but this time without anything in the way."

You laugh and Matt sighs as you yank his boxers down, freeing his member. You gasp again. How could you describe it? His erection was imposing, demonstrating masculinity and authority in any direction he pointed. With your index finger, you touch the tip of his penis and hear him grunt. Then you take it with a closed fist and begin to, very slowly, slide it up and down, along its entire length. Matt parted his lips, moaning.

Matt looked down and watched as your small hands masturbated him. You increase speed. He growled loudly and with eyes dark with lust, he watched as you smiled and leaned over. Matt pulled away instantly, gasping.

"No. If you suck me, I'll end up cumming and I don't want to do it without you." I confess to you with a hoarse voice.

And he kissed you again. Closing your eyes, you wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss and pulled you closer to him. It was a demanding and wild kiss, showing him how much he wanted you.

Suddenly, a noise. Someone was calling the house phone. Matt growled against your lips.

"ignore it." Matt ordered.

You nod and kiss him again, while the phone didn't stop ringing. Oh, What did that man have that every time you kissed him, he made you forget everything.

The phone stopped ringing, but it didn't take long for the answering machine to answer.... and Emmett's voice will be heard.

"Dear. I can't wait to see you again, I have so many things to tell you" sigh. "Anyway, I just wanted to remind you that I'll be back home next week. Don't forget that I love you despite everything... goodbye."

Matt stepped away from you and stood up abruptly. She looked. His teeth were so clenched that you were even afraid he would hurt himself.

"Do not believe him" his voice comes soft from his lips. "Please don't believe him."

"I already told you that I don't care about Emmett. He is the one I want and need right now."

Matt looked at you, his eyes shining with something that looked like joy.

"Really?"

"Yes. Now come here and show me when you want me."

He kissed you once again, testing with his own tongue the characteristic flavor of your mouth that every time he tried it, he felt that it drove him more and more crazy. Pulling away from you a little, Matt placed his hands on your hips and pulled your jeans down, out of his sight. I look at you. She looked beautiful with only the thong on.

"You have a beautiful legs." He flattered you, sliding his hand up your thigh, up and down, and so on.

Shivers ran through you as you closed your eyes and let yourself be carried away by the sensation of being caressed by Matt's warm hands. Only then do you open them when you feel Matt start to pull down your panties. You look down, meeting Matt's lustful eyes.

"I love you so much" he whispered eagerly. "I'll fuck you until you can't stand up."

Matt caressed your thighs once more. He placed his hands on your hips.

"Open your legs..."

You obey instantly. Matt positioned himself in the middle of them, his erection rubbing against the entrance to your vagina. Your mouth opened in a perfect 'o' when Matt thrust in suddenly, and instinctively, you arched your hips. He parted his lips, remaining still inside you.

"You have a delicious pussy." Matt growled. "Someday I'll try it with my own mouth."

You moan and very slowly, Matt began to move. He groaned as your tight pussy enveloped him, hugging him around him.

"Shit" Matt moaned. "I'm crazy about you."

Matt looked down and watched the exciting scene of his member disappearing into your pussy as he pushed deeper into you. An expression of pleasure appeared on your face and you ran a hand over your forehead, in an attempt to remove the excess sweat. He leaned down and kissed you, then buried his nose in your hair and inhaled.

"You smell so good." Matt sighed, letting the scent take over. "Roses and jasmine."

Grabbing your thighs, Matt sank completely into you. You scream, not caring how it sounded and dig your nails into Matt's arms. Narrowing his eyes, he hissed in pleasure.

"Faster" you ask. "Please, I need it."

Matt growled and increased the speed of his attacks. His hips moved from front to back, in the same rhythm that made you go crazy. The bed creaked and hit violently against the wall of the room. And Matt couldn't help but roar out loud, when he felt you tighten your grip around him.

"That's it baby" He moaned, feeling how your wet flesh began to hug his penis tightly. "cum for me..."

You came instantly, saying Matt's name in a scream that echoed in his ears. Closing his eyes, Matt threw his head back and growled once more.

Matt collapsed on top of you, his nose buried in your hair and breathing heavily into your ear. He moved and lay down next to you. She turned her head and looked at you, caressing your cheek with a strange tenderness that touched you.

"Your husband is a lucky man. I envy him." admitted.

"Please, I don't want to talk about him right now. I just want to think about you right now."

You snuggled into his side, resting your head on his bicep and closed your eyes. Matt put his arms around your waist and placed a soft He kissed your forehead, and then brought you even closer to him and fell into a very deep sleep.

NOTES: Remember to hit the heart and share it with your friends! Thanks for reading^^ If you want to be part of the taglist leave a comment!

TAGLIST: @luverboychris @alexandernvr @prisciliin @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom @hotreaderliin @tillies33ssss @sturnioloxlver

[drdemonprince]

How do you maintain a healthy relationship with exercise as someone with a history of disordered exercising? Asking for me

I'm an eating disorder harm reductionist, not a perfectionist. Some of my ED behaviors exist to help me regulate my anxiety and impose structure on an unpredictable world, and I don't care about getting rid of those impulses anymore, I try to just work with them. I'm not especially worried about whether my relationship to exercise is "healthy", because what would that even mean -- normal? not obsessive? I've never been those things. so long as I take steps to minimize any damage I do to my body with my behaviors, i'm satisfied.

Lifting weights and being on T has been a good middle ground for me in a lot of ways. a brief lifting session in the morning gives me the sensation of having generated some endorphins, which makes me less likely to self-harm or behave impulsively, and it does so without requiring a ridiculous time commitment the way my long, long aerobic exercise sessions used to do. I used to miss a lot of special occasions with friends and holidays etc because I would spend so much time exercising every day, mostly as a stim and a way to offload stress. now the exercise I do can easily get squeezed into my downtime without taking away from other important things in my life.

strength training doesn't damage my joints or tendons the way that aerobic shit did; rather, it strengthens them. This kind of physical activity makes me hungrier and requires that I ingest enough protein, which motivates me to eat more, and i do tend to need that external motivation because otherwise i'll forget. being a muscle bro is also all very silly and stupid, which makes it easier for me to laugh at myself and not see the whole thing as super dire the way a restrictive eating disorder + exercise bulimia felt.

I still cling very obsessively to a set exercise schedule, but I don't see that as inherently eating disordered, it can just as easily be a very Autistic self-regulation thing. i honestly first started lifting weights in 2018-2019 because i was craving the endorphins from enduring pain HEAVILY, and would have really impulsive BDSM sex with complete strangers to get a pain rush without any prior negotiation or forethought, and i wasn't really looking after my safety. but i noticed that when i put myself through the controlled "pain" of lifting weights every few days, my desire to behave completely recklessly subsided and i could get by with having kinky sex more sporadically, and with actual planning and safety protocols being on the table instead of just pulling the first rando i could find on fetlife.

if someone believes in total eating disorder recovery/abstinence, they'd probably still look at my rigid adherence to a lifting schedule and my tendency to not feel hunger cues and my fixation on getting enough protein and think that i was still fucked up, but i feel physically the most energized and strong that i ever have in my life, my exercise regimen does not consume my daily schedule the way it once did, i dont think about my body size at all anymore, and i self-harm less and take fewer risks. so. seems pretty good to me.

harm reduction and a personalized recognition of one's needs > health

[kairiscorner]

Can I request miguel with an insecure reader? :( like they wonder how he even fell for them or what they see in them... and maybe doesn't want kids because they're scared that they look like them and hate themselves as well

Sorry if it's too much and it's OK if you dont do it, love your blog ❤️🫂

AAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS !! no bc i get those feelings sometimes too :'(( i hope this provides you all the comfort you might be needing, and remember, you're all perfect just the way you all are 💓

❝i love you as you are.❞ — miguel o'hara x insecure!reader

there are times when you'd often go quiet randomly, no matter if the moment was lively and fast-paced–or even happy–earlier, you'd go silent all of a sudden and just kind of recluse away on your own without saying a word. you couldn't help it, the inner turmoils and nervous overthinking would always plague your mind and cause you to want some peace and quiet–even if you could never catch a break nor a moment of silence with those raging thoughts in your mind that refused to shut up and quit hurling insults at you that... you believed for a time to be true. you gripped at the blankets and tried blinking away the tears that formed in your eyes as you mumbled out a breath of, "stop it" at your mind; hoping against all hope that through your resistance, your brain would stop filling your head with distorted images of you that you couldn't even recognize. you soon let the tears fall as your mind kept asking you just why miguel was even with you; he's expressed before how much he yearned for kids of his own indirectly, hinting at some other dreams he wanted to live out that you couldn't provide for him.

"...i don't want to have kids, they... oh, they'd... they'd look so..." you whimpered out as you sobbed, choking on your words as you shook out the thoughts of your kids in your mind. you personally couldn't share the same vision as miguel, you didn't want kids—you wanted to live you life to the fullest, and you didn't feel that having kids was the end all be all of your existence, you just wanted to be you and live your life. and yet, you felt so inadequate at not even being able to share the same enthusiasm as miguel for wanting kids. you wept and cried for a few minutes, until a knock at the door was heard, and you sniffled back your sobs. "mi vida, are you in there? amor... can we... talk? i-i'm... i'm worried about you." miguel said with a soft, gentle voice that made you tear up again. how could you ever tell him when he's wanted children of his own for the longest time? wouldn't you seem selfish to him, for not being able to give him just this one thing when he's given you his everything? this made you think back as to why he picked you out of everyone else—there were many other people who wanted miguel, and... many of them were vocal about their desires to be parents–the one thing you were frightened of and had no interest in being.

they were all the same as miguel, eager to have their own families and didn't care about what others thought of them, they moved to the beat of their own drums and didn't stop for anybody, unlike you, who was so self-conscious and anxious about everything, especially yourself. you didn't respond, making miguel open the door out of concern and peek his head in through the crack of the door. miguel walked over to the side of the bed and sat next to you lying down, looking over at you with a saddened gaze, as if he were a lost puppy–sad and alone. "cariño, talk to me... please? if you don't wanna talk, though, that's okay. just, please... don't be scared of me, don't be scared of what you think i'll say or do, i love you, mi vida–i would never hurt you or try to hurt you, i could never."

his words of reassurance were so powerful, so genuine that you felt every word vibrate in your bones and sink deep within you, reaching your heart and piercing it like a dagger. you couldn't keep your feelings in anymore and rolled yourself over to his side, where he saw your eyes wide and swollen–sobbing and wet, your eyebrows crinkling upwards as your lower lip quivered. you apologized to miguel for the mess you were becoming, but miguel ran his hand through your hair and shushed you, saying it was okay, you're okay, you have no fault in anything. "mig, i... i can't make your dream come true." you choked out in a sob. "what could you possibly mean, mi amor? of course you can, you already have..." "no, i can't... i-i don't... i don't..." you stuttered, unsure of how to fully tell him in a way that'll lessen the blow, but you had no other way–you had to tell him, right now. with one decisive breath, you decided to just be honest with him, right here, right now.

"...i don't want kids, miguel..." you murmured out in a whisper, sobbing and gripping at the sheets as your tears stained them. you shook your head and sniffled back your tears, yet nothing stopped the tears from flowing as you kept repeating your truth: you don't want children of your own, and you don't want them to even resemble you. you found it a curse your children would inherit if they looked anything like you, because in your mind, you looked less than desirable; you believed miguel was simply holding out for you and secretly losing feelings behind all his caring smiles and sweet kisses. you apologized to miguel over and over, but miguel reassured you it was... okay. he rubbed your arm gently and shushed you.

"cariño... i love you either way. you don't need to be a parent for me to keep wanting you, i just want you to be you." "and why do you want to be with me?" "because i love you, and that's final. i love you, mi vida... you don't need to bear my children or be a parent, i love you for you, and that'll never change. you already made all my dreams come true by loving me back, and i'll do everything in my power to keep that smile on your beautiful, lovely face. you're perfect, amor, eres perfecta como eres." he whispered to you as he wrapped his arms around you and held you closely and tightly; he kissed the top of your head and rubbed up and down your arms all comfortingly. you cried into his chest and clung on to the front of his shirt while he shushed you and kissed your tears away. though it'll take a long time of undoing the way you saw yourself, the way you couldn't accept many things about you, it comforted you somehow that miguel loved you—for your perfections and flaws, for your strengths and weaknesses, for your comfort and discomfort. he loved you with a love that transcended love, and you didn't feel anything apart from a weight being lifted off your shoulders, bit by bit.

he loved you, and that was all he knew.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

[fabaceous]

do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?

hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)

my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.

NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.

NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...

like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)

i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))

now on to the other options...

YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]

finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.

and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.

so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.

[athena-swords]

Pick a pile reading

The main character energy you are coming in.what your friends think of you.what is your charm(intutive)

Disclaimer:It is the believer of the craft which knows what is to be taken and what to not so be mindful of it.

Here are the piles...

Pile 1

Hey pile 1 hope so you all are doing good.ohh this pile definitely have got the vibes so we can see a very confident and firey person in this pile those who are the 'popular' person in high school.Takes stand for what feels right and is loud about their thoughts. Some of you can be migrants or just love traveling the person you look in the streets and be like wish it could me one day. Winning and lots of small victories.

What your friends think of you?

Most of them think you are above average in your craft.The friends which gives great advice they may think you very much like to live in your own fairytale and sometimes will have to remind you of that.A competition they have to keep up with in carrer or school take what fits. Someone who have a balance lifestyle and don't have to dwell on management of their finances much.

What is your charm(intuitive)

Could smell expensive, femme vibes ,intense eye contact,lol I heard taste so idk take how you want,mysterious understanding of things (I hope u understand what I mean).

Pile 2

Hiii  pile 2 hope so the winters are giving you not so much of trouble  maybe people is you as a helper or more of a saver I am  Getting such a BAD BITCH energy from you but not that bitchy kind its more like if you mess with me or my people you are gone. you are kind at the same time you and pile 1 are a bit similar so you can check out that too if you want. life of the party or just someone who lives the  moment .a competitive person who like to WIN like its gives them the kick,validation, self confidence  what ever you would like to take it as . if you are seeing number 9 repeatedly you need to do a self introspection -message from your guides.....

What your friends think of you?

okay right of the bet your friends  konw how much efforts you put on the things you desire for (maybe you dont get the results soon though) they see your cute bratty side and love it as many of ur friends dont mind pampering you.ur love language could be gifting or just being there comforting them.all of ur friends are glad that you just know that they feel and what to say.BTW one of your friends might be missing  now as you are busy these days and not get to connect much they would like to go on outings again.

ok see from the energies I am getting I can say that your friends group genuinely care for you like all of them but just be careful of those whom you dont trust

What is your charm(intuitive)

bad bitch ,warm hugs in winter ,tired ,not sassy but can be...  at times, manifesting clear skin,2022 taught you about____

Pile 3

heyy my babies I hope you have learned your lessons like life been so hard on you like sooo fucking hard you are like the warrior who becomes more strong after each wounds yaa like I was not getting the right words for you  all my love goes to you like you know the character who goes through every shit but comes victorious at the end you are that bitch and never let yourself think anything less than that  you have overcome the worst so just hold on a bit and you will see that there is a happy journey written for you too and people who made you feel like you are nothing are gonna get there fruits dont worry YOU DO YOU .see maybe you dont had those happy memories or teen life hack I would even say childhood life but belive me when I say everything you imagined yourself doing you will be soon pursuing it your guides are telling you to just wait for a little bit until then remember they are there for you.maybe something or someone who you thought as your saviour left you or were not what you thought they were but dont worry the universe sees what you dont they were not someone you needed in your life they would have done more bad than good 

What your friends think of you?

you hardly have friends dont you or whom you can truly call your friend so been betrayed by a friend haa they left you out or were keeping you in the dark but dont take the blame they are just a ill moral and maniplative person but there is surly a childhood friend or a friend who is romantically interested in you darling I am just so sorry that I am not getting what they think but more about the situation IG you need these messages more as your guides are strongly giving these messages as last this friend or lover  admires the strength you have shown and are happy that you are trying to move on and not repeat the patterns within 4 to 6 months you will be meeting people who not only match your vibes but will understand you and guide you there they all will be probably more mature or eolder than you.hoping the best for you.

What is your charm(intuitive)

lo lita, my bag -song, counting starts-song, pitch dark, ghilbi studio character vibes, grand launch, muffins.

Do give feedback as it has been a log ass time .

[honeybeedrabble]

Dangerous Desires (vii)- Mask Off

AN: I know this took a LOOOONG time to get out but it’s all worth the wait, trust. Now we’ve got the plot really coming in and i am SO! EXCITED! anyways, enjoy!!

Word Count: 6.7 K

18+ MDNI!!!!!

Content/Warnings: SPOILERS AHEAD !!!! MAJOR KAKASHI LORE DROPPED !!! AFAB!reader x Kakashi, hurt/comfort, fluff, dark fluff, drinking, stalking, attempted/implied attempted SA, violence, mentions of blood, dark!kakashi, yandere!kakashi, piv sex, unprotected sex (don’t be stupid) unprotected cream pie (DONT BE STUPID!!), mirror sex, breast play, marking, biting, major angst up ahead, VERY MINIMAL EDITING (i'm really excited to get this out lol) lmk what i missed!!

You would think that Kakashi telling you he loved you would make things easier, but it didn't. If anything, it made things worse. Before, you could say that he's just a horny shinobi, looking for a quick fuck at anytime available between missions, with you being the easiest piece of meat around. But now? Now you're forced to acknowledge that there's more bubbling beneath the surface. You’re more than just a soft body for him to wrap his arms around and use for his own pleasure- you’re someone who he loves. Very deeply in fact.

You lay on your side, nestled deeply nest to his chest, his arm draped over your shoulder. You looked up at him.

“Kakashi… I…”

“Don’t. Don’t say you don’t feel the same. But if you do… don’t tell me either way.” He spoke almost nervously. “I don’t want you to say it back if you feel pressured by it. But even if you do, I don’t want you to say it because I’m afraid... I’m afraid of what I’ll do.” He said, staring up at the ceiling.

“Oh.” You sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling with him. “You said that you’ve imagined yourself saying things to me, things I have no idea about. If we’re being transparent… what is it you want to tell me?” You asked, resting a hand on his chest.

He was silent for a moment, pondering what to mention or what not to.

“I… I’ve seen some stuff.”

“Haven’t we all,” you smirked. He let out an amused exhale, running his thumb up and down your arm.

“Yes, but I’m still dealing with it all… I want to tell you but I don’t know how you’ll react.” His voice shook a little. You sat up to look at him, his arm falling from yours and dropping to the mattress softly. His eyes seemed watery and you quickly wiped away a tear before it could fall.

“I’m here… no matter what you tell me I won’t leave.” You cooed. His eyes shot up towards yours, shining with hope. “I won’t leave… I promise.” You say with a soft smile. He sits up, holding your hand to his face, then moving it down to his chest. You could feel how fast his heart was beating through his chest, worried whatever it was would be too much for you. Worried whatever it was was too much for him.

“When I was younger, I grew up with my father, who was also a shinobi. We have a very dangerous job, you and I. Saving people. My father had to save people himself, making their lives a priority as opposed to the mission he was sent out on. In doing so he returned home a hero, but also scum. The other shinobi couldn’t believe that he had abandoned his mission and chastised him, turning him into an empty husk of a man. I lost my father, he wasn’t there anymore.” He said softly. You ran your hand up to his neck, caressing him, hoping to soothe his pain.

“When I arrived home from school one afternoon I saw him laying on the ground. Dead. He had killed himself.” Kakashi looked away from you, tears beginning to fall.

“Kakashi…” You managed.

“No note or anything! No goodbye. Just gone. God, I hated him for that. How could he leave his own son!” he bawled, crying heavy tears.

You reached your hand around to the back of his head and held him close to your chest. You could feel his warm tears hit your breasts one after the other. He breathed heavily, occasionally drawing in a shaky breath just to let it go in a half-scream against your chest.

You pet his hair, raking your hands up and down his fluffy mass. You placed a kiss against the crown of his head and wrapped your other arm around his torso, holding him closer to you. When he finally stopped hyperventilating, he rest his head against your chest, holding your arm wrapped around him for comfort.

“I learned later that it doesn’t matter what the mission is, as long as you can save your friends you can never fail a mission. But when I realized this I did the unexpected. I had killed my very own friend. She just- I didn’t- oh god,” he broke down again.

His arms wrapped around your back, hands grabbing up to your shoulders and pulling himself deeper into you. He told you about Rin between breaths, about her unfortunate demise and how he had been the hand to deal her death. All you could do was listen and hold him. He rocked gently with you in his arms and his head against your chest. Thrashing when he spoke of Obito and the scar on his eye that came along with the boys sacrifice.

He told you about Minato, how he raised Kakashi when his father couldn’t. How great of a leader he was and how much he misses him. He couldn’t protect Rin, Obito, or Minato, he spoke of how much of a failure he felt like.

No matter how hard he shook, how loud his cries were, or how intense his hold on you was, you didn’t let go. You didn’t even say anything, you just let him get it out. And while watching the man you saw as big and strong crumble completely in your arms brought a few tears to your eyes, you didn’t leave him once.

A few minutes later, after his eyes ran dry and his head hurt from all the tears lost, he finally spoke.

“The funny thing is… that whenever I’m with you… that stuff doesn’t bother me.” It came out as almost a whisper.

“What do you mean?” You asked, hand stilling in his hair.

“I mean… that it’s never in my head. When I’m with you it’s like all that shit that happened before I met you didn’t happen at all. As if… it happened to someone else. Maybe it’s true.” He sat upright, arms holding you less desperately.

“I’ve changed so much since I’ve known you. I feel like a completely different person. Before I used to prefer being alone, now I can’t stand it. I cant stand it because every time I’m alone I’d rather be spending that time with you. On missions, in the shower… in my bed.” He added sheepishly. You smiled a little bit, blushing at his words.

“I feel like when you're not around my soul is screaming for you. And it’s so loud, sweet girl it doesn’t let me think of anything other than you. I love you… I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you so much I feel like I’ve loved you always, not just in this life but previous ones I can’t even remember. And in future lives where I’m sure we'll meet again.” Another tear fell out of his eye, this one you weren’t worried about.

“But then all the memories flood me like a collapsing dam. It’s all in a second. I’m scared you’ll get hurt and I can’t protect you because I’m not there. Or worse, I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. I’m afraid that no matter how hard I try to keep you safe, I’m scared that that demented twist of fate will take you from me anyways. I couldn’t live another second if you were stolen from my life.” Kakashi cried again, you wiped his tears before his mask could be wetted by them.

“I can take care of myself, Kakashi. I’m a shinobi after all. I know you haven’t seen me fight but I know how to defend myself and others. I wont die.” You tried to reason. It was to no avail.

“My love… I don’t believe you. I cant. Not after what I’ve seen… I cant lose you. To lose you would be losing myself.” He held you closer to him, his warm skin against yours as he lay you both back down on the bed.

“I love you. Don’t leave me. You promised.” He spoke softly in your ear.

“I did.”

___________________

The talk with Kakashi was too heavy on your mind. The next day it was all you could think about He had lost so much, you never thought about how life was for him before you two had met. You knew you’d be up all night thinking about it so you went out for a few drinks to put you to sleep.

When you arrived at the bar you scouted out the scene, a few couples, a group of friends or two, and of course some people on their own. You sat down at the bar and ordered a glass of bourbon. Sipping it occasionally between thoughts.

You felt a tap on your shoulder as a few ryō were placed on the counter next to you.

“I’ll have whatever she’s having. In fact, why don’t you get her another one?” A man with dark hair spoke from behind you. He smirked then sat down next to you, telling you his name. You quickly forgot it because of how intensely disinterested you were.

You polished off your drink as he spoke, quickly finishing the one he ordered. You thanked him for the drink, then told him you had to leave.

“Why? I barely talked to you,”

“I’m sorry sir I just… I didn’t plan on staying long and if I’m being honest I can really only handle one of these at a time. They filled my glass pretty high and I need to get home.” You explained. He glared at you.

“I buy you a drink and you take it and leave? Real classy.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t feel so good so I’d appreciate it if you just let me leave.”

“Fuck you.” He spat. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Have a nice night.” You turned around.

“Bitch…” he muttered under his breath as you left the bar.

You were lost in thought, almost drunkenly walking the streets back home, thinking about Kakashi. Your heart ached, wishing you could be with him without the terrified feeling of losing your job. You were sure people wouldn’t take you seriously if you were public about your relationship. They’d figure you slept your way to the top, not even taking your occupation seriously and all together stop visiting you.

You opened your apartment door and tossed your belongings on the nearby couch, turning on the light. You felt a heavy weight thrown against you, similarly to when Naruto had bumped into you. When you turned around is when you saw him. The man from the bar, slightly smelling of alcohol. You felt the color drain from your face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” you yelled. He slammed the door behind him, walking up to you. You couldn’t believe how you let your guard down so easily.

“Listen… I payed good money for you. 350 ryō for a drink so I can get into your pussy isn’t a lot to ask for, but you just couldn’t deliver. You could’ve had it the easy way but you just had to be a prude.” He slurred as he approached you. You were frozen in confusion, yet sure what was to come. You were able to back away when he lunged and tried to grab at your hips.

“Let me make myself at home.” The guy smirked.

The door burst open and he snapped around. Kakashi stood in the doorway, his eyes piercing daggers into the man.

“Shit… you’ve got a boyfriend.” He whined. “Sorry, she didn’t tell me. She just invited me over.” He spoke. Kakashi grabbed him by the collar and thew him to the ground as he hit the ground head first.

“FUCK!” He yelled, clutching the back of his head.

“Sweet girl,” He grabbed you by your shoulders. You looked from the bar guy to him. “You need to promise me you’ll remember this. You’ll remember me as I am right here, right now in this very moment. Remember how I am with you. How I would never hurt you.” He spoke urgently. You were even more confused.

“Y-yeah…” you shook your head. He pressed a masked kiss to your forehead then turned around and grabbed the man by the shirt, dragging him just past your door way.

Kakashi knelt on the man’s knees, then struck him with a punch to the center of his face, the man yelling in agony. Kakashi put another blow to his face, then when his right hand got tired he alternated with his left. Striking the man over and over again, blood staining Kakashis knuckles. You hear the man spit blood on the ground.

“I’m sorry, I- I didn’t know.” He begged.

Kakashi stood up, then kicked the pained man in his rib. He let out a cry, grunting and taking it all. Kakashi lifted him up and held him against the outside wall, punching him in his gut, the man coughing up blood. Kakashi smiled under his mask, watching the man who tried to take you writhe in agony.

“I should fucking kill you. I saw you follow her home, I know she didn’t bring you.” Kakashi almost laughed.

“Please man, I’m so sorry. I just- fuck. Please stop.” He man blubbered, his chin falling to his chest.

“You’re a stupid son of a bitch. You’re just a piece of shit who can’t get any pussy and the only way you can get it is by trying to hurt my girl. I think the village would be a lot better without you in it,” Kakashi punched him again, letting go of his collar and watching him slump to the ground. He thrusted his knee into the man’s face, the mans head being thrown back against the wall hard. He cried. Kakashi crouched down to the guys level.

“If you want to live you’ll get the fuck out of here. Not just this building but the village itself. Go far, because I’ll fucking look for you. And if I find you I’ll kill you out there where nobody can find your body.” Kakashi was a mad man, staring into the bloody man’s eyes with a violent craving for his pain. The man lay on the floor with a groan between his wails.

You stood there, the experience completely sobering. Kakashis fists we’re covered in blood, his face had a few droplets on it as he stood in your door way, his head turning to look at you. You looked back, throbbing with arousal.

As a medical shinobi, you couldn’t believe what he just did. But as a woman, you couldn’t believe he wasn’t inside of you already. The way he brutally attacked the man who had bothered you, who had followed you home and had tried to assault you, who had tried to take you from him… it made your heart beat unreasonably fast.

Kakashi lowered his head and slammed the door behind him, walking up to you with a dark aura surrounding him. You felt the hair on the back of your neck raise as he snaked his hand around your waist to pull you deep into his large frame. His grip was tight, eliciting a small whimper out of you as you felt his iron strong arms lock you against him, forcing you into submission, leaving you with no room for movement.

“Did I scare you, sweet girl?”

Your breath hitched, the seductive tone of his voice sending the shiver down your back, he could feel it. What he couldn't feel was the pang of desire, shooting at your needy cunt. You shook your head and he laughed low in your ear.

“Really?” He smirked, hand trailing down your back and resting just above the curve of your ass. “So if I went out there and finished the job, you wouldn’t scream?”

“…No….” You rasped, having a hard time catching your breath while you trembled in his arms, core tightening and loins burning with an insatiable desire for his touch. The wet slick soaking your panties wasn't helping. You felt as if you had lost all sense of composure, pawing at his chest as you lost your inhibitions in his embrace.

“Really? Cause if you say the word, I’ll make sure that the only tomorrow he sees is when he's six feet underground.” You felt his member hardening behind his pants. You threw yourself against him further, searching for what you desperately craved.

“You don’t need to do that… he didn’t even touch me…” You said softly, looking towards the door. With his free hand, Kakashi held your chin between his index and thumb, moving your head back up to him so he could look you in the eyes.

“Well then I guess we’re both very lucky men, huh? He’s lucky, because he didn’t touch you. And I’m lucky, because I get to fuck you.”

He kissed you deeply, his lips warm under his mask. You grabbed both of his cheeks as you desperately needed for contact. As you kissed him you felt a shameful lust burning its way through your body, ignited by the violence in Kakashis crime of passion. And it was all for you.

You raked your hands through his hair, eyes snapped shut tightly. He broke the kiss but your eyes remained closed, lips parted knowingly. You felt his soft, warm lips meet yours again, uncovered by the confines of his mask. You smiled into the kiss, feeling his lips against yours without the feeling of the bandana against your eyes. While you did like to wear it, feeling Kakashi’s kisses without the restriction was invigorating.

You opened your lips immediately, your tongue diving to into his mouth for a change of pace. He laughed slightly, backing you up against your wall and spreading your legs with his knee. Your breath hitched as he pressed his knee under your mound, his hands tight on your hips, pushing you down onto his leg.

“Go ahead and ride again, sweet girl… Show me what you can do. This time I won’t let you get tired.” He licked your bottom lip, tasting your berry flavored balm and sighing before he crashed his lips against yours again.

You swayed your hips back and forth, moaning into his mouth pathetically. The feeling of his pant clad knee getting hotter from the friction of your cunt was amazing. Your juices soaked through your panties, coating the very inside of your pants as you kept rocking against his leg.

You could taste the flavor of orange on Kakashis tongue, the combination of his spit and your lip balm creating a beautiful taste the both of you shared as your kisses got more and more heated. He tore away from your lips with a growl, tackling your neck with a feral hunger.

“I always love to make your neck look like a war zone… it’s so beautiful when I’m done with you.” He sunk his teeth into your neck, lightly biting into your soft skin.

“Thank you Kakashi!” You whined, feeling the start of a marvelous climax rising from the depths of your core. “M-More! Please- More! Hurt me more!” You cried, clutching his white, shaggy hair tighter.

He pushed you against the wall rougher, moaning your name as he bit at your sexy collar bones. His cock became increasingly harder as you dragged your clothed cunt against his leg. He lifted your shirt up and bundled up the hem of it, brushing it against your lips. You opened your mouth and he stuck the cloth in, you bit down on the material and he unclasped your strapless bra. It fell to the floor and he dove into your tits.

His soft, wet tongue circled your sensitive nipple, he horribly suppressed a moan as it hardened in his mouth.

“Perfects tits… all for me…” he huffed, kissing your cleavage as he played with your breasts. You whined, the soft shirt drowning out most of the noise. Your eyes were still cemented shut, knowing fully well not to open them, unless he were to beckon you to stare at his face. You wanted to know his face desperately, but you were focused on being good for him, letting him suck your tits like the good girl he needed you to be.

You felt the plush of your thighs shudder under his muscular leg, your orgasm on its precipice. Your brain replayed the moment he attacked the drunk man, blood spattering his knuckles as he broke more and more of him for the sake of you. You shook violently, cunt pulsing on his thigh as you came.

"Good girl..." He praised, digging his fingers deeper into your hips as you rode him. You barely heard it while you were so lost in thought. Thinking about how Kakashi would do anything for you, and how the only place you felt the safest now was in his arms.

"I love you," You moaned, juices running down your legs from inside your pants. Kakashi's breath hitched, fingers going limp against your hips as you continued to chaise your high until you slumped against the wall for support, breathing heavily post-orgasm.

"What did you say?" He asked, you kept breathing heavily until you remembered your vocalized amorous affirmations. You felt like you were caught, not sure if you should repeat what was so impulsively thrown out of you. But you couldn't help but smile to yourself, feeling the void inside of you dying, ready to accept the love only he could fill.

"I love you." You confessed, feeling a giant weight being taken off your chest. One of Kakashi's hands cupped your cheek, as he desperately devoured your lips. He broke the kiss to rub his thumb along your under eye. He said your name, catching your attention.

"My sweet girl... open your eyes... please." He whispered. You felt your heart race, unsure if you heard him right. "Please... look me in the eye when you say it."

With that, you slowly opened your eyes, looking at him in the face. He was so beautiful. You stared at his face, unable to look away from how stunning he was. It wasn't just because you were so aware of how much you loved him, it also wasn't just because you were so aware of how much he loved you that made him so mesmerizing. You felt your eyes tear up, knowing how big of a deal this was for the both of you.

"I love you." And then you saw the smile. You could see how his lips turned up as he grinned, a beauty mark under those lips and his teeth slightly on display while his eyes creased gently. You lightly gasped with shock, finally able to see him happy in front of you.

"I love you more." He said, enveloping you with his gaze. You felt your heart beat, watching him speak for the first time with so much intensity, and it was to tell you: he loves you more.

You hungrily kissed him, desperate for more. More of him. You tugged at his shirt until he could break your kiss and slip it off from over his neck. You watched him do so. He threw the shirt to the floor then looked back to you to see you were already looking. He smiled.

"Do you like what you see?" He smirked.

"You look beautiful… You are beautiful." He was taken aback, you watched as his face flushed pink, your own reacting in accordance. "All I want is to look at you." You shamelessly admitted. He laughed.

"Sweet girl, now you know how I feel about you." He moved in closer, kissing you quickly, you closed your eyes, even though you wish you could keep them open to look at him.

Your nipples hardened against his warm chest, arching your back into him. He groaned, slipping his tongue into your mouth, which you took with greed. Your fingers tangled in his hair, taking all he could give you. His hands moved to your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with haste as he was surprised by your sudden gluttony.

"I need you so bad..." You managed to get out between heated tongue battles. He growled in your mouth as you pulled your pants to your ankles and stepped out of them. He animalistically grabbed the backs of your thighs and threw you to his hips, where you wrapped your legs around him with haste.

He moved you through the hallway with ease, taking you to your bedroom, and while you were taken aback that he already knew where it was, you didn’t say anything. He dropped you on your bed, it squeaked as you landed ass first and a few pillows fell off in the process. You slipped your underwear off, watching him as he watched you. The hunger on his face easier to spot now that his face was bare to you.

He licked his bottom lip, moistening it with the slight drool he had in his mouth. He wanted nothing more than to make you his, stuff you full with his cock while you told him over and over again how much you loved him. And that was exactly what he was going to do.

He got on the foot of your bed, tearing the rest of your shirt off with one motion and abandoning it on the floor with the lonely pair of underwear you just discarded. He admired your glistening pussy, post orgasm and already eager for more, he wanted to devour you. He wanted you to be all his senses, your juices coating his tongue, your hands in his hair, his nose filled with your scent, his ear hearing your moans and his eyes tearing you apart as you came undone on his face. But he had other things in mind for you.

He grabbed both your arms and lifted them over your head, your hands crisscrossed at your wrists as he held them down with his left hand. His right was busy working on his zipper then he finally pulled them off along with his boxers and left them by your clothes.

His right hand lifted your ankle up, plopping in on his shoulder and snaking his hand to your knee, where he kept it still. You watched as his face blew even further with lust when you tilted your hips for easier access. He rubbed the head of his cock on your clit and you twitched at the sensation.

“You don’t know what you do to me… you make me insane.” His hand wrapped around his throbbing shaft, pumping himself up and down as his tip weeped creamy precum and dribbled onto your folds.

“And you make me weak,” You writhed under his detainment unable to break free, his eyes fixed heavy on you.

“If this is weak then you won’t recognize yourself when I’m done with you. I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t even be able to think.” His deep voice vibrated in your ears as he pushed the smooth head of his cock down your wet hole with a pained look painted on his face.

You clenched around him as you watched his expression morph across his face, his teeth clenched tight before his jaw hung slack and a loud moan escaped his lips. His hand moved up to your ankle, holding it steady to his chest while his hips drove his thick dick in and out of your warm walls. Your head spun as you kept your eyes on him, feeling your body burn hot while he bottomed out inside of you with a growl.

“You’re taking me so good… I can see it in your stomach.” Kakashi motioned towards the cockbulge in your abdomen. You couldn’t look though. How could you look at anything other than his beautiful face and how his teeth sunk into his lower lip each time he bottomed out.

His thrusts became faster and harder, a sweat bead rolling down his face as his hips snapped against yours. You let out breathy moans, unable to contain your noises of bliss as he fucked you hard and raw in your own bed. He leaned down to suck a bouncing tit into his mouth, tongue rolling along your nipple and teeth softly biting into the surrounding skin. You arched your back, desperately wanting him to mark you even more.

“Mine, mine, mine…” he whispered into your tender flesh, fucking you mad as you whimpered loud.

He was naked. Finally naked… with you. He fucking you so deep you felt like you two were one, and your tight pussy held onto him as he slid in and out of you, loud, wet noises coming from where your bodies met and you practically screamed his name before you crash your lips against his and shook in his grasp.

“Mph- love-“ you got out between kisses. He stopped his kisses as he looked down at you. Your face was completely fucked out, hair sticking to your sweaty forehead and eyes rolled back slightly in ecstasy. He let go of your hands and let your ankle slide off his shoulder, it shook as it landed on the bed.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you up to meet him and kissed you hard before shoving you into a doggy style position, facing the corner of the room where a vertical mirror sat, you two completely reflected in it. He came up behind you, rubbing his wet cock against your clit, mixing your juices and his together on the tip of his dick before pushing it into you once again. You moaned loud, his hand tangled in your hair as the other rested on your hip. He held your head up and towards the mirror as his head dipped to yours.

“Such a little slut, look at yourself. A total mess and all you did was fuck yourself on my leg and lie down for some dick.” He licked your neck, a breathless moan escaped your lips as you pressed your ass into his hips, dick inching deeper inside you.

He kept a firm grip on your hair as he fucked you infront of the mirror, he watched you intently while you completely lost yourself to the feeling of his hard cock filling your tight warmness to the hilt. His thrusts became harsh and desperate, your tits bouncing with each slap against your ass. His groin was completely soaked by your slick, sticky slapping noises filling the room each time your bodies connected.

You felt your orgasm approaching, pushing your ass back with fervor with each snap of his hips. His cock twitched inside of you and when you finally looked back into his eyes, he was already looking at you in the mirror. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were burning deep into you, his mouth agape as moans escaped through one by one. You felt yourself fall over the precipice and shook violently in his touch. You could tear your eyes from him as you came hard, staring at his reflection infront of you as you screamed.

“FUCK- K-Kakashi! I love you! I- OH! I LOVE YOU!” You cried. And it was just then when his hips stuttered before slamming into you passionately as his mouth fell open completely and a string of cursed fell from his mouth while his cock shot thick, hot, white ropes deep into your needy pussy.

“Oh- oh- oh, sweet girl. I love you so much- fuck! I love you, I love you…” he trailed off between moans, groaning out your name as he filled you up so much, his cum dribbled out from the sides.

You took him so well and he fit so right inside of you, Kakashi was positive you two were meant to be, so obsessed with the fact he was made for you he couldn’t think of anything else as he watched his cum drip out of you and onto your sheets. He knew it. He was right.

You crashed down to the bed, a shaken mess. God, you looked pathetic and Kakashi was just eating it up as he scooped you in his arms. He grabbed a box of tissues on your nightstand and wiped you clean, kissing your sweating forehead with his soft lips and covering your naked bodies with your blankets.

You two lay there for a while, Kakashi whispering sweet nothing into your hair. You couldn’t understand him, you were too fucked out to think just like he told you you’d be.

It was a few minutes and you finally stopped shaking, head craning up to kiss deep kisses into his neck. He smiled, his head coming down to meet your lips and kiss you. When you two broke the kiss, he looked deep into your eyes, a melancholic look on his face. You were confused, but continued to admire his beauty before he looked away and pressed your head into his chest.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, unsure of his sudden mood shift.

“Yeah… well… no.” Kakashis voice was nervous. “…There’s a war coming soon.” Your head shot up.

“What? How do you know?”

“It’s just a feeling I’ve been having for a while. With all the talk of akatsuki attacking the hidden sand a while ago… and the hidden mist village attack the other day… I know we’re in for something big.” Kakashi sounded positive, but you didn’t want to believe it.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am. I was talking with Lady Tsunade after filing my report and she has the same suspicions as I. Things have been too peaceful for too long. Somethings up.” Kakashi spoke. He held you tighter, not knowing he was doing so.

“Well then… No matter what I’ll protect you out there with my life.” You said softly, trying to suppress your fears of the hypothetical war. Kakashis grip on you tightened.

“Don’t you see that’s the problem?!” He asked defensively, his voice raised.

“I-I’m sorry?” You asked, especially confused now.

“There’s no way you’re fighting in the war, it’s too dangerous! I forbid you from going out there, I’m not losing you.” He said with a booming voice, holding you impossibly tighter. You struggled to breathe before getting out of his death grip, and sitting up in your bed, clutching the blankets to your chest.

“I don’t think you understand Kakashi, you can’t keep me from doing my job.” You announced defensively. He shot up next to you, turning to look you in the eyes, his face angry.

“No, I don’t think you understand. You fighting out there is the most nonsensical thing I’ve ever heard. I wont always be there to protect you the whole time and even if I am, I doubt I could. I cant protect anyone!” He spat. You furrowed your brows. If anyone could protect you, it would be Kakashi, that you knew.

“Kakashi you’re being unreasonable. If people get hurt out there they’re going to need me.”

“Not any more than I do!” He bit back, tears forming in his eyes. Your demeanor quickly softened.

You stretched an arm out to his back and ran your hand up and down his skin soothingly.

“If you go out there and get hurt, I don’t know what I’d do. I cant lose you… you’re what completes me. Without you I have nothing. Without you I am nothing.” You watched as tears ran his cheeks and you felt your own tears fall, watching the man you love crumble in front of you.

You watched Kakashi smile for the first time, you watched him cum for the first time, you watching him get mad and now cry for the first time all in one sitting. You longed to see him happy again, but you knew you had to stand your ground.

“Kakashi… you just have to trust me when I say I can defend myself. I’ve said it all before but you never listen to me!” you defended yourself, still trying to soothe him with your hand on his back.

“No. I know that if you go out there you’ll die. everyone I’ve loved has died and I refuse to let you become one of them!” He became agitated again. He said your name.

“My sweet girl, there’s only one thing I ask of you.” His voice and face were dead serious, grabbing your other hand tightly in his. “Quit your job.”

You felt your heart sink. How could he expect you to do something like that?! Your job was the only reason you two met- hell- your job was the only reason you were here!

“Kakashi… no.” His face changed instantly, brows furrowing and eyes becoming dark once again.

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean no. Absolutely no. Helping and healing people is what I’m passionate about, I’m a medical shinobi and a good one at that! Kakashi I know this is hard for you, I’m sorry for who you’ve lost but I’m not going to become one of them! You need to believe me.” You pleaded. Kakashis hand loosened it’s grip, and he tore his face away from you and onto his blanket covered lap.

“Sweet girl… If you love me, like you say you do, you’ll do it for me.” He said low.

“What are you even saying?”

“I’m saying you can’t have both!” He snapped, looking back at you. “It’s either me or your job!”

You felt helpless. You sat there for a minute, mind racing a million miles an hour.

“CHOOSE DAMMIT CHOOSE! CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE ME FOR ONCE! WANT ME FOR ONCE!” He yelled, tears falling heavier. You cupped his face and quickly moved in to kiss him. He tried kissing back but couldn’t manage.

You kissed him softly, stroking his cheek and wiping away the rogue tears. You broke the kiss, pressing your forehead against his. He held your face too, hands on your neck with his thumbs on your own cheeks.

“I choose my job, Kakashi.”

His hands fell from your face as he tore his out from your own. He cupped his face and bawled into his palms, crying so hard his body shuddered. You wrapped an arm around him before he tore himself away from you and quickly got out of bed.

He grabbed his boxers and pants, putting them on in a hurry.

“Kakashi, what are you doing!?”

“I’m getting out of here.” He muttered, his voice quivering.

“What the hell is the matter with you, why!?”

“Because I refuse to be with someone who has a death wish! I refuse to love someone who’s going to leave me just like all the others did. I could handle not being public about our relationship, I wouldn’t have minded as long as we were both committed. But this? No. No way.” He zipped up his pants and walked out the door. You clutched the blanket to you as you followed him out.

“So what now? You’re just going to be mad at me for loving my job, is that it?” You asked, watching him pick up his shirt and put it back on.

“Mad isn’t the half of it.” He didn’t look at you and he slipped the shirt on, the mask bunched around his neck.

“Well then what is it Kakashi, what do you want?”

“I want out.” Your heart stopped beating.

“…What?”

“It’s over. We’re over.” Once again you didn’t have any words.

“Y-You can’t be serious. Kakashi I know you’re scared but so am I. Please, let’s just talk about thi-“

“There’s nothing to talk about. You made your decision and now I’m making mine. I cant lose another person I love, as long as I’m with you I’ll love you. So if you’re going to throw yourself into the hands of death I don’t want to watch you do it.” His eyes were red.

He pinched the top of his mask and pulled it over face, hiding himself from you once again. He walked to your door, opening it and standing in the doorway, throwing his head back to look at you.

“You were never going to choose me.” With that, he walked out and slammed the door behind him, leaving you alone in your one bedroom apartment.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

KINKTOBER - Show them - Banda Sunato x Fem!Reader -

Notes: AU no criminal Banda - Toxic - Hints of manipulation - Hints of reader being a cam girl - Public sex - Banda is a warning himself -

Banda decided you needed to be teached a lesson. See, Banda was your stalker for a long time, manipulating you till you accepted to be by his side.

He insolated you, made you a doll, his doll. Someone who was there for him and only him, someone who desired his company and only his.

Friends? Family? No one of them could love you like he did.

So why did you start to be polite and to think you could make new Friends at your New job? Did him not teach you enough?

Maybe he did not break you well.

Thats why, you two where there, in a nice traditional dinner with your new coworkers who seemed to be getting more and more touchy with you.

Thats why Banda took you and made you sit on his lap, hugging your waist and putting his head on your shoulder, something your female coworkers found adorable.

Oh, but it was anything but adorable.

"You did not bring underwear or did some of them snatch it away? Or did you give it to them? You are such a slut when you drink"

Banda moved his right hand under your skirt, luckly no one noticed it, too engrossed in their talks or being too drunk.

He quickly found your wet lips and started to play with them.

"So wet for me, do you like to be touched when others are around? Do you need an audience?"

You could not move. Too afraid that someone would notice, but you could also not denie how well you felt. His fingers teasting you, touching you but not being inside yet. You tried to move and make Banda's fingers go inside you, he laughted in response but accepted your need and pushed two without warning causing you to gasp.

"You alright (y/n)?" A fellow coworker asked watching you with worry.

You just nodded giving a shy smile.

Banda moved his fingers, he streched your walls, collecting your juices and looking for your G spot.

"Will you moan for me?" Banda asked in a low tone. His ring finger now massaging your G spot making your legs tremble.

You wanted to, and knew you would be in serious problems later if you did not. But how? Even if everyone was drunk right now it still felt...bad.

Banda was not happy with your silence, he went down to whisper in your ear....

"Listen, now im angry, this is going to happen, im going to pull a orgasm from you, right here and now. Oh dont try to get free from my lap now, you know what waits you at home? You wont be able to go to work tomorrow after it"

Banda was never just talk, he did what he told you. Using your juices as lubricant he kept pushing against your G spot, as well as whispering degrading words that should not turn you on so much.

"You are such a slut, I knew you liked being watched when you die that live, what? Thoguht I did not know? You are so naughty yet you play to be so innocent"

You tried to warn Banda, but he knew before you even had the chance to tell him.

And just as the evil he is, he stopped. Pulled his fingers out and passed them over his lips.

"What? Do you believe you deserve to cum? You have been liking this too much. Maybe at home..we can do a new tape....just for you and me"

[myun-saidthoughts]

Composite Chart:

Real Life Experiences

(I will express my own experiences and in hindsight knowing some of the basics in astrology might make this post make more sense, I'm only stating experiences not what each sign/placement/aspect means on it's own)

(If anyone wants me to add some background knowledge with each composite synastry aspect let me know)

💐🌸 Libra Moon, Libra Venus, & Libra MC 🌸💐

(Moon & Venus Conjunct MC)

Now for my experience, I have this with one boy. When we are out in public my emotions and feelings can not be hidden from him or anyone, we are playful together, we flirt openly to one another, I compliment him and he compliments me back. Very giddy with one another and I like to make him feel good about himself, I just have that desire too. We aren't dating but there's a weird sense of known responsibility he has for our dynamic per se? When he is talking to another girl he over compensates by keeping the "peace." Once he talked to a childhood friend and right when she walked away he was over expressing how random and weird that conversation was, even though in my eyes it was a innocent conversation, he felt like he needed to state something. In that circumstance on that night we were really cute together, I grabbed his hand and he leaned down to go and kiss me, and it felt natural. But there has been nights where that wasn't the case, whenever he is with another girl or isn't keeping the balance he acts awkward or tries to run away from the situation to avoid the tension he feels? Another time when we stopped contact randomly for a few weeks and he randomly said to me "I haven't been on snapchat, I haven't talked to anyone at all on there" something along those lines and I was like "no worries, it's okay!" Another time he was with another girl and my sister passed him without saying hi, the following day he was extremely weird and couldn't even say hi to me?He only did when we abruptly passed each other and he nervously said "Hi love" and there's more stories. So even though I have never been upset at him or yell at him with his choices, and (never will I because we aren't dating) he feels the need to keep the balance between us. One thing though, his choices and actions affect me and my face can't hide it even though I wish I could. So the balance is shown when it's off because my face can not hide it. That might also be why he is overly aware of how I feel when he is acting off. He also has always seen me 'done up' meaning hair done, makeup done and so fourth. Even when we snapchatted I always tried to look my best, this could be my natal Libra MC but I thought he was so attractive so I wanted to match him. a

🔮🕸️ Scorpio Sun & Mercury in the 12H 🕸️🔮

Now for this, even though our attraction and playful energy is not hidden from the public, the identity and communication between the two of us lacks. I dont know where I stand with him because when I'm with him I do feel a sense of intense feelings and desires but things are left unsaid, I don't want to overstep or say the wrong thing to him, I want to match his energy and so far that keeps us in a stagnant spot. His friends and my friends know that we like each other, and on a whim I have gone up and kissed him in front of his friends and others but nothing gets passed that. Our communication is limited, we only have each other on social media, and I've known him since summer of 2021 but the stagnancy persists. (This also ties into other composite aspects but I'll talk about that later) I dream of him a lot, could be my subconscious trying to make sense of why I think about him often, but he is in my dreams, almost every night (I believe my Moon is in his 12H). When and if we ever get passed this shallow spot I do feel his energy will feel transformative and feed my natal 12H Venus. He will check that box off for me because based on the time I have spent with him, I can just feel it. He could read my eyes like a story and like I said previously as much as I wish I could hide my emotion, it's impossible.

🪬🌛Cancer North Node & Vertex in the 8H 🌜🪬

So for this placement, I do feel this resonates with our dynamic, at least for me. I am a very emotionally closed off individual, I am afraid of commitment, love, and most of all, vulnerability. So with this relationship he unlocks a side in me where I feel safe enough to be vulnerable, safe enough to give a part of myself to him in ways that seem impossible to others. If I ever do date him, from my souls being I know I won't be the same afterwards, the way I communicate my feelings, how I regulate my feelings and emotions would be altered. Now I dont know in what positive or negative way our relationship would transform myself and my ego but in my gut I know it's possible. Vertex and North Node signifies fate, destiny, these two points showcase experiences we have to deal with and it being in the 8H tells me it's about change, so in my perspective he is here for me to allow the love I want from him, to flow through me instead.

☀️☪️ Scorpio Sun and Mercury Squaring Aquarius Uranus ☪️☀️

So, this also ties into the 12H placements we share. Our dynamic and communication was constantly on and off, we talked then we didn't, we flirted with each other then we stopped, once it got too consistent he felt he needed to back away (He has a lot of natal Uranus influence). The more inconsistent our communication was through social media, the more present he was in person. The more consistent he was on social media the more stand offish he was in person (unless he was drunk lmao). It was a back and fourth tennis match. He still would feel responsible to not hurt my feelings but it was random, one day he would compensate his weird standoffish attitude and then another day he wouldn't try. My attitude would stay the same because I always knew what I wanted but I share more fixed and Plutonic energy, needless to say his Moon and Venus are in my 8H, while my Moon is in his 12H and my Venus is in his 1H.

🪐🌙 Scorpio Mercury Oppose Taurus Saturn 🌙🪐

Now here's another poor communication element. Our Mercury being in the 12H and the Saturn in the 6H. In this instance, work, mundane affairs, activities, other responsibilities and hobbies, have been the main reason why our communication has stopped or dwindled. He focuses a lot on his career and income, and the second he focused only on his career, contact through social media and in person hit an all time low, other responsibilities overtook our dynamic and his attention. And to come to think about it, if he came consistent in my life my responsibilities to my school work and other limitations such as lack of resources I have; would create a blockage within our dynamic as a whole. I could also read this as us wanting to achieve deeper topics or communication but because of outside responsibilities/other factors we don't control or limitations, those desires are hard to reach.

🍄✨💥 Sagittarius Rising 💥✨🍄

I met him online in Summer of 2021, and a few months later I randomly met him when he was on a trip to where I'm from. He became friends with people I knew, and in the early fall he came here to visit them, and I just so happened to of ran into him at a party. So, in some cases the rising signs indicate how you meet and how the public see's you two together, I met him when he was on a trip and my main outings with him was at parties/gatherings where there's alcohol.

🏹 🎀 Libra Venus Sextile Sagittarius Pluto 🎀🏹

From how I've felt with this boy, I do feel our connection would showcase change and growth for both parties. The Libra Venus wants to want the love and the Sagittarius Pluto will ignite that everlasting change and growth within one another. The energy together (when heightened and at it's absolute) would feel cohesive and ignite passion. The letting go aspect to love and to love whole heartedly seems doable and 'easy.'

🍃🪷 Libra Moon Trine Aquarius Mars 🪷🍃

When our dynamic is flowing naturally, without outside factors or limitations, our desires for each other acts well together. We both have similar love languages, our emotions can go into alignment with the way we act to each other. It's natural, and it's easy. Flirting is not difficult and there's no awkwardness when doing so, we have similar desires and attraction (again) is not hidden nor is it dismissed. The emotions in play without dynamic can flow with the actions we are comfortable with taking part it. Passion is never an issue between us two. Another analysis in my opinion is the Mars acts freely and openly to the public with no care of what other people will think, (only time there is stagnancy is when internal problems arise like I said before) The Mars doesn't feel trapped with not portraying it's emotions (whether good or bad). Therefore even when things are off the emotions are again heightened and easy to be expressed whether (I) want to be open or not.

[owlespresso]

Never does a day pass where I dont go insane and bark over them.

Estinien being in love with both the Warrior of Light and his Lord Commander. The feelings are pervasive, smothering. An inkling of them existed before Niddhogg's possession of his body—it had been nothing more than a vague, internal acknowledgement of your valor and skill. It had been nothing more than a few nights spent nestled within the cool nest of Aymeric's sheets after five cups too many at the Forgotten Knight.

It's the beast in him, he firmly believes. None of that permanent, gnawing hunger could possibly belong to the man he had been before the Eye chose him. Such incessant longing could only belong to a monster with Niddhogg's voracity. It's vanquished upon the Fell Wyrm's defeat, he believes for all of a day, before you rush breathless and panting into his hospital room, worn but desperate to see him.

The worry on your face makes him feel something, deeply and irrevocably. Aymeric's stern countenance and firm scolding make him feel different, somewhere far too low in his body to be appropriate. He shoves down his mortification and buries it with a few pale jabs at Alphinaud.

The hunger does not go away. It swells, now that some semblance of the beast remains within him. It runs deep and thick in his veins, makes his jaw clench and his teeth feel too sharp in his mouth. Every sense is amplified. He takes in the scent of you—frost on pine and that tea Aymeric likes to serve in his drawing room. How much time have the two of you spent together in his absence? How much closer have you become?

That desire, molten hot, pervasive and clinging as smoke, steps on his heels and crawls up his spine and he cannot bear to look it in the face. Not yet. So he flees Ishgard, embarks on a journeys far and wide in search of atonement.

In dark shades of the night, he returns to Ishgard. For moments at a time, nighttime snatched and kept close to his chest. He slides through Aymeric's balcony (the doors left open, despite Estinien scolding him for it), settles into the warm, beckoning presence that awaits him beneath the royal blue canopy bed. He is always gone by morning.

It's much easier to deprive himself of you. You're never in one place for too long—until you're in the far east and he catches your scent on the steppe. He had enough restraint left within him to leave you be. He would only prove a distraction, he reasons. You both have your own missions to take care of. But he stalks you. He overlooks the misfit crew that dogs your steps and slaughters straggling beasts that might eventually harm them. He knows, shamefully, that this heroism is a mere excuse to watch you. To get as much of you as he can.

You never spot him. Or maybe you know, but you never look. He's grateful for that. He doesn't know what he would do if he got you within arm's reach.