#i am not one of those people who can accidentally write more than they expect to

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

hyperfixation is compiling a long list of individual animal species for identification purposes and this is being done because you're bored and not because you're required to

anyway the tags turned into something weird so maybe ignore those. i'm keeping them there so i don't personally forget

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

What are you trying to say? - Trevor Zegras

Word Count - 3600

Author's Note - I 100 percent projected my own dysleixia hardcore into this. This was 100 percent written for the dyslexic girlies and learning disability girlies only. Also not me accidentally maybe becoming a Trevor girlie after writing this oh no. This one is by far my favorite segment.

Warnings - light angst but like it ends happy shocking for this page, who am I becoming???

Summary - In the talking stage with Trevor Zegras you're not sure how his joking personality will respond to your struggles that you have with being an adult with dyslexia, especially since it doesn't affect you how media expects it to.

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

This isn’t something new to you, you’ve struggled your entire life with the fact that you're dyslexic. It’s a lot more complicated than people may recognize. Many people assume that it only comes up when you're trying to read something like a textbook or an article, and that when you’re finished with school it won’t really affect your daily life anymore but that’s far from the truth. In truth, being an adult with dyslexia affects you in little ways daily. From having difficulty knowing your left and right when given verbal directions, your spelling being terrible when texting others, mispronouncing certain words and being easily embarrassed when it gets pointed out, or worse sometimes the word is literally on the tip of your tongue you can even physically see in your brain but your mouth can’t form the proper sounds, how certain fonts you struggle to read vs others, or that black ink on white paper is the bane of your existence.  Although all of these are “little” things, it does impact the way you communicate with others. It does feel extremely frustrating sometimes feeling like people think that you're using your dyslexia as an “excuse” when in reality your brain is wired completely differently because of it. 

Since you first met Trevor and started talking to him, you had that fear you always do in the pit of your stomach, will he pick on you the first time that he truly can’t understand a text or the first time he hears you mispronounce a word despite years of speech therapy where you tried to but still you can’t pronounce correctly. Although, part of you knew that your fear was extremely irrational, part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that was until proven otherwise the jokester in Trevor would make a joke about something you truly couldn’t control. 

That is until today, when it happened it’s one of those rare days when you were driving and Trevor was in the passenger seat. His car was in the shop, and he needed a ride back from the arena to his apartment. Originally he was going to take an Uber but since you both already had plans after the morning skate you insisted on picking him up. 

“It’s easiest if you take this right up here to get back to my place.” He directs you without looking up from his phone,you tell him okay, turn on your left turn signal and get in the left lane. Trevor finally looks up from his phone while you're waiting at the red light for it to turn green to see you're in the wrong lane. 

“Sweetie?” asking in a questioning tone

“Hmmm” 

“This is the left lane. I told you to take a right.” Trevor says in a concerning tone as to how you were five traffic lanes away from where you needed to be. 

“sorry I thought you said ‘left’. I can make a u-turn?” Deciding in the moment you didn’t want to admit that you heard him correctly but processed the direction wrong, you offered as the traffic light finally turned green. 

“It’s alright we can just take the long way. Don’t worry about a u-turn.”  Not seeming to care at all that it will add an extra 10 minutes to the drive due to the mistake. 

As you continued driving you ended up making another wrong turn, Trevor put his left hand on your thigh and subconsiously rubbed small circles into skin to comfort your growing anxiety, he could feel this odd tension that was built up in the car. “Can you point please?” your voice barely over a whisper as you felt extremely embarrassed all of a sudden and started feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. 

“Yeah Y/N/N I can do that, we could also switch places. I can drive you the rest of the way if you need it if you're feeling anxious all of a sudden.” Trevor was being really sweet, trying to fix the problem at hand thinking it was just some anxious thoughts and not your brain processing audible information incorrectly. 

“No, pointing is good.” Forcing yourself to look straight ahead because you don’t want to accidentally catch his eyes as he looks at you with a worried look. He squeezes your thigh in a comforting way and drops the topic. The rest of the ride felt quick as he pointed and said the direction you needed to go until you reached his apartment. Finding a parking spot in the garage you parked your car, as soon as you felt your foot on the brake, and your right hand pulled the gear in park, you leaned back automatically and sighed grateful you were done driving. Trevor still had his hand on your thigh, he turned his neck so that his head was also resting on the headrest. 

Trevor patiently waited until you opened your eyes, turning to him with a soft smile. “You ready?” you ask him, as you start to unbuckle your seatbelt. As you grab your purse from the back, your hand on the door handle. His hand that was on your thigh is gone and immediately pulls you by the wrist back into your seat. As he takes his other hand and gently places it on your cheek forcing you to look at him. 

“Can we talk about it?” His voice was steady, calm, confident but soft, almost as if he was scared of your reaction. 

Smiling a little wider now, in a split second you try to decide what you want to do. Do you want to tell a boy who you’ve only been casually talking to and hanging out with a handful of times - one of them being this current moment - about being dyslexic. Although it’s not that big of a deal in retrospect, it’s something that you can never take back once you said the words. Even though it’s something so simple and common no one ever looks at you the same again. Were you ready to tell Trevor, and see his face change permanently or did you want to live in ignorant bliss for a little longer. 

“I’m fine, it’s just when I drive somewhere new I like listening to the GPS and not a person telling me directions, it helps me focus better is all.” sheepishly you admit. 

Ignorant Bliss. That’s the choice you made. 

“Okay well next time, can you tell me that so I don’t have to watch you stress yourself out please?” His hand that was on your wrist, going down to your hand playing with your hand. Taking your hand that he was playing with, fully grasping his you squeeze his hand as a silent yes, and nod your head. He leans over the middle console and quickly peaks your lips as if it was a last minute impulse and he meant the cheek. “Thank you, let's go inside.” 

—-------------------------------

Living in ignorant bliss was great for a few weeks, until you started to actually like Trevor. Talking to a guy for a few months and it not going anywhere vs meeting someone and potentially seeing at least an exclusive relationship with them were two very different things. Knowing that you saw a relationship with him in the future meant it was only a matter of time before he found out that your dyslexic which again isn’t that big of a deal, but the fact that you also lied to him a few weeks ago. Not telling him is one thing, but lying when he asked why you were struggling to drive that day is a completely different act. 

Trying to put off the inevitable you tried to push the thought to the back of your mind. Somehow convincing yourself that if you didn’t think about it, then the problem would disappear he would never find out. I mean when you didn’t know how to spell a word while texting, you just spoke it into your phone. As far as grammar no one really had perfect grammar when texting including Trevor to be perfectly honest he probably didn’t even notice half the time. Plenty of people kept all their devices in dark mode for plenty of reasons, he had no reason to ask, although you did it because it helped your eyes stay focused on the words in front of you, not for the aesthetic. 

Even so, with all of these excuses as to why he wouldn’t notice you failed to remember that certain words you truly can’t pronounce the correct way no matter how hard you try. It all came crashing down tonight when you were at Trevor’s apartment cooking dinner for the both of you. Dinner was almost done at this point, when Trevor came behind you just now re-entering the kitchen after taking an expected call from his little sister. Trevor wrapped his arms around your waist, his head resting on top of your shoulder. 

“Everything okay?” you ask your curiosity getting the best of you, even though you know it’s none of your business. 

“Yeah she’s fine.” Pressing a kiss into where your jawline and neck meet. “smells good.” He compliments your cooking as he teases you one more time with a small nip with his teeth where he just kissed you, before pulling away and resting his head on your shoulder. 

Answering shyly, you let out a “thank you.”

“Anything I can help with?” asking genuinely although you're not sure if it’s to be kind or if it’s because he’s hungry but either way you’ll take it. As he slowly unwraps himself from you, getting ready to help you in any way you need. 

Without looking up from the chicken that you're grilling on the stove, trying to concentrate on the task at hand you answer him. “Yeah actually can you grab out the mellk from the fridge for the mashed potatoes.” Not even thinking twice about what you just said until you heard a chuckle coming from across the kitchen. 

“What babe?” standing in front of a now open fridge, he could have sworn you tried to say milk but botched the word so badly, it couldn’t have possibly been.

“the mellk” finally noticing what you asked for, knowing this is one of the words people can’t help but point out how you butcher it. 

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, truly confused now that he heard it twice. 

“M - il - k “ you repeat slowing down your mouth trying to force yourself to pronounce it properly but also not speak too slowly. Hoping that it's noticeable as you force your tongue to the roof of your mouth to make the “il” sound.  

A small chuckle leaves Trevor’s lips but it wasn’t a malicious way, it was as if he chuckled because he found it adorable. “Here's the milk baby.” walking back over to you and placing it on the empty counter space next to the bowl of steaming hot cooked potatoes. Taking the chicken off the hot burner you moved to the island to where the potatoes were. 

“Sorry” you mumble as he stands beside you, his hip resting on the side of the island. 

“For what?” His eyebrows frowned, his eyes focused the side of your face the only thing he could see. Focusing on the task at hand, you used the potato masher and mashed the potatoes. Opening the milk and adding a little along with some butter that you set out earlier. 

Feeling the rise of some anxiety in your stomach, hoping that you could procrastinate just a little longer on admitting that you didn’t tell him the whole truth. Deciding if now was the time or if you were gonna dig yourself in a bigger hole by wrapping yourself in a thicker web of tiny white lies. 

Finally turning your head to the side to face him and taking a deep breath. 

For good measure making one more deep breath before you barely utter the words, your nerves getting the better of you. “I lied.” 

Trevor’s face immediately changed from confusion and concern. In an instant it became shocking and almost hurt, that the girl he thought was actually going somewhere a month in, is admitting to lying to him. Not when he told her in the beginning that lying wasn’t something he tolerated after his ex lied to him for months and manipulated him. Not when he just told his little sister not even ten minutes ago on the phone that tonight he was gonna ask you to be his official girlfriend. “What are you talking about?” his voice cracking before he could even get the word out, quickly clearing his throat to cover up his own insecurities about the possible tension that could slowly be felt brewing in his kitchen. 

“Remember a few weeks, when I was driving you to your apartment from the stad-” 

“What the FUCK does that have to do with lying to me? When did you lie to me Y/N” Not only has Trevor never once raised his voice at you in a not joking way, but he’s never cursed at you, and his tone made you close your eyes and flinch at the impact. Immediately, seeing you flinch he sighed his hand going to lightly crease her arm closest to him. “When did you lie?” asking at a much softer tone than moments before. 

“I’m trying to explain.” Trevor could have sworn he felt his chest hurt when he heard you struggling to speak, as if you were trying to get yourself not to cry. “Please let me explain.” 

“Okay” he softly let out, as he squeezed your arm not sure if he was trying to comfort you or himself as he felt the possibility of you slipping through his fingers. 

“A few weeks ago when I drove you home.” finally turning her body fully turning to face him. “I lied, When you asked me what happened. I told you I need the GPS because I get overwhelmed.” Pausing to make sure that Trevor was following along, he nodded along, “I lied, sort of,” your voice picking up in speed with each word you uttered out  “I mean I do get overwhelmed while driving but it’s not because of that it’s not that I” 

“Baby please take a breath you're scaring me” His other arm is going to cup your cheek, even though he was mad before as he heard you fixated on driving him home a few weeks ago. He knew it couldn’t have possibly been any of the terrible ideas that popped into his head, at least Trevor hoped not.

 “I sometimes get my left and right confused.” Looking up trying to gauge his reaction, watching as one of his eyebrows go down, as if to say ‘that’s all.’ 

“Okay. So that was the lie? Everyone gets confused sometimes and makes mistakes baby it’s okay” His famous smile slowly takes over his face. 

“That’s the thing is it isn’t sometimes, it’s kind of a lot when I’m driving when someone is giving me directions without pointing, and there are other things too. I mean they're small but they still affect me almost daily and I just.” 

Deciding to take a breath because if you don’t you will be more likely to trip up your words or stutter. “I’m dyslexic and it’s not really how they describe the movies.” 

His smile dropped a little and you swear it felt as if your heart felt as if it had just dropped a hundred flights down the Empire State building. “Dyslexic. Like you mix up letters when reading?”

“Yeah but it’s more than that.”

“Okay. But why didn’t you tell me when it happened? Why did you say it’s because you get overwhelmed.” 

“Because I do get overwhelmed when I make dumb mistakes like that. Plus, everytime I tell someone they never look at me the same. A lot of times they are shocked, and they also sometimes judge me because how does it not affect me the way the media portrays it? Why do I mispronounce words, why can’t I tell my left and right when someone gives me a direction, why I can’t read maps to save my fucking life but yet if I don’t have my GPS running I’m bound to a wrong turn, why does sometimes my mind decide I either can’t come up with a word at all or I can physically see it but I can’t say it and I can’t spell it because I’m such a bad speller.” 

“Shhh” not trying to cut you off but also trying to get you to breathe. “So you didn’t tell me cause you were scared I would look at you differently? Or judge you when something you can’t control comes out at random times of the day? That’s why you told me to point instead of just saying it because you didn’t wanna tell me in fear?” Not sure his tone is showing remorse for you thinking that at all or hurting that you ever would think of him in that way. 

“Yeah.” you embarrassingly admit.

Trevor spent the rest of the night listening to you and how your brain was different due to your own personal experience with being a dyslexic. The next morning you found him reading an article about the effects of different lighting and how dark mode was the best for dyslexics and certain fonts were better than others. It made you chuckle as you told him you knew and that’s why your phone was permanently in dark mode.  That day, he changed all the settings on his tv’s in his entire apartment for dark mode, even all of his own personal devices. Finding it adorable that he went on a tangent when he found out certain apps don’t support dark mode and how he said it was discriminating. Finding it harder and harder for yourself to hide your soft smile as you watched him continue his rant, your heart swelling at how passionate he sounded. 

“I really like you, you know.” you admitted when he finally stopped complaining about how Mirosoft finally started supporting dark mode it was still ‘white paper’ on black ink so they really missed the whole point. 

“Oh yeah.” as he grabs you, pulling you towards him on the couch, tangling your legs with his. 

“Yup” popping the p for emphasis.

“I really like you too. Actually I was gonna ask you.. Wanna make this official and let me call you mine.” The blush was obvious on your face, immediately turning a light red shade, nodding your head he pulled you into a soft kiss. 

—---------------------------------------------

A few weeks later you were out to dinner with a few close friends and Trevor. Currently trying to tell a story about one of your new coworkers and how you didn’t like him but mid sentence you froze. Trevor had yet to see you freeze because the word you planned to say completely escaped you. Of course this wasn’t new to your friends as they saw the familiar signs, the way in which you paused, your lips pursed in a questioning way, your hand coming up and shaking knowing it was on the tip of your tongue and you just couldn’t think of it or couldn’t pronounce it. 

What your friends weren’t used to was seeing Trevor respond to it. His response to you struggling made all of them share a glance in approval of his small action. He took your shaking hand and slipped it into his own. Immediately your small flustered expression on your face turns to him. Your friends couldn’t hear what you were saying between yourselves if you were even talking at all, but they could see the care in Trevors eyes and how your frustration seemed to melt away.

“Hi” he whispers only for you to hear after a couple seconds pass. 

A smile breaks out on your face. “Hi” 

“What are you trying to say?” repeating the same sentence that he asked you weeks ago when you asked him to get the milk out the fridge. 

“I can’t think of it.” a sigh leaving your lips. 

“Describe it.” His forehead resting on yours as you look into his eyes. 

“You know, like a red flag.” 

“Like in dating? So a slang term?” 

“I think.” Pausing for a few seconds for your brian to catch up. “But I know it’s not called a red flag, but it’s like it, I think, like when someone does something and immediately you're like ew.” 

“An ick?” he softly suggests. Immediately your mouth forms into an o-shape in shock, making his mouth twitch into the slightest smile. Kissing his check quickly and whispering a quick ‘thanks’ and turning back to your friends. 

“Okay so like this new dude thinks he can come in and just boss all me and my other co-workers around. That’s not even the worst part like not only is he lowkey sexist, he literally only wears highwaters, immediate ick…” Trevor sat there half listening to your story with a huge smile on his face, hand on your thigh drawing patterns subconsciously as he sipped on his drink. He loves listening to you talk, how you get lost in telling stories and he’s happy he was able to help you instead of you pushing it to the side like you did all those months ago. 

That’s how it is from that night on, anytime you text him and he can’t understand it, or you can’t think of a word, or butcher the pronunciation; he will simply turn to you and ask “What are you trying to say?” 

[comicaurora]

I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!

Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"

I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.

To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.

But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!

I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.

[sulfurz]

ೃ༄ MEANT TO BE YOURS (sheamus x fem!reader)

ೃ༄ PAIRING: sheamus x fem!reader

ೃ༄ REQUESTED BY: @lambofjudgement

now that I've finished screaming about how much I love your writing I have a request (to fill out your masterlist a little bit) for sheamus jealousy fluff? where the f!reader's been teaming with the brawling brutes for a while and when they're feuding with Imperium the Imperium tries to convince her she's too good for them? Maybe before they're together, where he's trying to convince her to stay by being extra nice and thoughtful or overprotectiveness of "his girl" that he lets slip accidentally? whichever route you take will be awesome I'm sure of it! <3

ೃ༄ WARNINGS: um idk like?!?! possessiveness ig??? sheamus is just hot n y/n fancies him

ೃ༄ WORD COUNT: 2.6k😳

ೃ༄ NOTE: UMMMM can u tell i got carried away……. i love sheamus sm i met him once and he is genuinely the sweetest guy in the world so a stephen request ????? i am in heaven pls enjoy

in theory, the moment you saw the camera you should have known something was coming.

it was one of those peaceful saturday nights on raw, a rare evening where you didn’t have a match to be a part of in any shape or form. you were simply enjoying the energy backstage as you could hear the crowd thrumming beyond the walls, watching matches that didn’t involve you on the monitor. management had requested you come along for some segments, so you were somewhat on guard, but the most you expected was an interview with renee.

you did not expect for the imperium to trudge towards you, trailed by a camera man as they came over with their proposition.

“are you ready to be on the losing side again?” gunther asked, trailed by his lackeys sad they stopped before you, circling like hyenas on the prowl.

you could only cross your arms in defence. “what makes you so sure we’ll lose?”

ludwig laughed from his leader’s left side, an air of certainess to his posture. “oh come on, y/n. you know as much as we do. you’re too good for those brutes, pardon the pun.”

the brutes in question being the stable you had taken on under your management. the brawling brutes were a separate endeavour to your solo career, but it was no secret the group had thrived under your care. if you had been coerced into joining in the first place by a particularly charming irish man, no one would have to know, either. it just so happened your management were looking for another way to push you, and acting as manager for such a powerful stable seemed like a dream when that opportunity fell in your lap.

but of course, once you proved to yourself and the rest of the wwe universe that you knew how to handle yourself both inside and outside of the ring, it wasn’t long before others tried to hunt you down. the brawling brutes were gaining power quicker than a steamroller, and of course people would give anything to stop them in their tracks.

“and what’s in it for me? if i betray them?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest, playing up to the camera, but asking more for your own gain than anything.

“unprecedented power, y/n. sweet, sweet power.” gunther added, motioning for the rest of his stable to follow as he began to walk away. “think about it, you’ll make the right decision.”

—

you gave a knock to the men’s dressing room door, a telltale shout of ‘decent’ giving away exactly who was in there — his accent certainly stood out amongst most.

pushing open the door, you were met by one single figure hanging back, but the man you needed to see. sheamus was standing there as decent as decent could be for a wwe superstar. it made you blush slightly, but you couldn’t quite understand why. you were used to going arm in arm with the man weekly when he was in nothing more than tight underwear and body oil — yet seeing him standing, clad in nothing but sweats, felt more intimate than before.

“heya, sweetheart.” he mused, charming as ever even when his in ring persona was lessened by the absence of cameras. “missed me that much?”

you rolled your eyes fondly, giving a light shove to his shoulder as you passed to take your place on a bench nearby. “don’t flatter yourself.”

sheamus grinned, a secondary emotion that you couldn’t place flashing past his eyes momentarily. he would never relent, and whilst you always had a rebuttal on the tip of your tongue, you wouldn’t deny how you were consistently forced to turn away, mainly so the man couldn’t see the reddening of your cheeks.

as the leader of the brawling brutes, it was sheamus who you came into contact with the most, and the two of you had built an interesting dynamic over the past few months. he had never hidden his affections for you in the ring, always jumping at an opportunity to be by your side, but you had foolishly put this down to his character, and never thought much of it. he was a naturally charming man, wildly different from everyone else in the roster, and it would have been easy to fall for someone like that. so, aware he was simply just being a character, you shut yourself down to every attempt to place that charm on you, not allowing the possibility for heartbreak.

“i had an interesting conversation today.” you commented quietly, crossing one leg over the other as you watched sheamus ruffle his wet hair from the shower with a towel (bright pink, and strangely familiar? was that a little decal of a flower? where did he get your towel from????). “let’s just say the last thing i was expecting today was to be accosted by imperium.”

sheamus stopped his drying motions immediately, hands coming back down to his side. “imperium? what the hell are they doing? trying to intimidate you?”

you hummed, considering how to approach this. “quite the opposite. in fact, they’ve got it into their minds that i’d be better off by their side, instead of yours.”

then, sheamus barked out a laugh and returned to his prior movements, seemingly unconcerned by the initial offer from your opponents. “well, can’t fault them for trying. as if they’re worthy of you.”

you stayed silent, watching as your friend and in ring partner raided his gym bag in search of a shirt.

“i mean. they’re not wrong when they suggest my style fits theirs slightly better. when i’m on my own i think anyone would have put me with them over you guys.”

silence met you, and when you glanced at sheamus, he wasn’t even looking in your direction. too focused on untangling his shirt straps. for a moment you thought, if that was how much he cared, then you might just take imperium up on their offer—

“you really think that?” sheamus asked darkly, not sparing a glance to his side.

shrugging, you added “i mean, we don’t know for certain but, what have you exactly got to offer me in terms of furthering my career?”

sheamus barked a laugh, but it was void of any humour. “i could list a million reasons why you suit us, sweetheart. how many do you want?”

you raised an eyebrow, his tone rattling straight through you. he was intimidating when he wanted to be, and it was clear that on stage persona was blurring with the man behind the camera for just a second.

“stephen.” you offered as warning, rarely choosing to use superstars’ real names unless the moment required it.

he spun quickly, taking one look at you before any of that hardness slipped away from his features and he was back to looking at you with a level of respect and awe.

“you’ve seen what we can do with you by our sides, y/n. you’re a warrior in and out of the ring. imperium don’t want to further your career, they want to use you for their own benefit.” he took a moment to pull the shirt over his head, before making his way to sit beside you. there was a couple of feet between your positions, but somehow the distance felt even greater.

you hummed, contemplating for just a second. “and? isn’t that what you’re doing? using me for your own benefit?”

when sheamus spoke again, there wasn’t the harshness in his tone like there was before, replaced by the sound of honey dripping off of every word. “we’ve never used you. sure, there’s no denying we’re better with you by our side, but you did all that. imperium want to use you as a pretty show piece, but to us you’re our lifeline.”

you smiled everso slightly, more having to fight the upturn of your lips than anything. “sure you don’t just like a hot woman on your arm every night?”

your stable mate grinned, playfulness returning to the air as he buttered you up. “sure, that’s a bonus, sweetheart. but you’re so much more than that.”

if your heart fluttered slightly at the tone he used, deep and rooted with genuineness, you wouldn’t tell anyone. that was a secret for you to keep.

“you’re a fool if you think we only want you to make us look good.” sheamus began again, shameless as he reached across the space between your bodies, brushing a stray strand of your hair away from your face and behind your ear. another flutter of your heart, this time more like a whisper of wind. “imperium want you to be their arm candy, we want you to be our soul. half the stuff we do wouldn’t be possible without you. you’re one of the strongest women in the roster right now, and that’s not just opinion but a fact, and it’s an honour getting to prove that. you can hold your own, hey, you can be even better, amongst the men, and i think that says everything.”

“you think that highly of me?” you asked, half jokingly, half from a place of needing reassurance. it was easy to doubt yourself amongst so many powerful opponents. “you’re already fighting pretty hard to get me to stay and i barely said anything.”

“you said enough for me to know i don’t want them getting their hands on you.” sheamus muttered, and suddenly the gap between the two of you seemed much smaller than before. “i won’t let them take my girl away that easily.”

your eyes widened at the same time his own demeanour cracked, both noticing the slip of tongue at the same time. again, you were used to the flirting the irish man undertook in the ring, and half of the time outside of it, but any semblance that those layers ran deeper than just kayfabe and your head was in a spin.

another knock at the door brought you out of the moment, a staff member poking his head in to let the two of you know they were closing up soon.

so with a few last goodbyes, you parted ways, this time with a new feeling of confusion in your chest. it was no longer the question of whether the brawling brutes wanted you more than the imperium, but now whether sheamus wanted you more than you wanted to leave.

—

after the segments on the show the week prior, it was no shock when the brawling brutes had one of their promos cut by the imperium themselves. you had expected it really, but it didn’t make the image of the four men wandering down the ramp towards the ring any less intimidating.

you stood just by the curtain of the ring, watching in concern as predator stalked their prey. you could see imperiums eyes on you, and you knew sheamus had noticed too, for he seemed to step in between their view of you protectively.

“well if it isn’t our favourite manager and her lackeys.” gunter began, practically toe to toe with sheamus as they stood leader against leader. “have you given any thought to our little conversation last week, y/n?”

before you could even react, sheamus was speaking on your behalf. “she doesn’t want to run around with little boys, she wants to stick with the men.”

gunther only chuckled into the mic, not quick enough to give his own response before giovanni was adding in himself, “if she wants men, she’s with the wrong team.”

“i wonder, if we asked her now, who’d she’s choose?” gunther challenged, the crowd hollering for you to join the conversation.

“stop fooling yourself, gunther, it’s getting embarrassing—“

sheamus was cut off by gunther once more “why don’t we let the little lady speak for herself?”

if the imperium wanted brownie points, they certainly weren’t getting them speaking about you like that. sheamus seemed to think the same, if the way his fists clenched had anything to do with it. he didn’t seem happy about it, but turned to offer you a hand to climb in the ring nonetheless.

you took his offer of help, jumping inside and trying to ignore how you were sure he was squeezing your hand just a little harder than usual. he seemed reluctant to even let go, but dropped the contact only when butch offered you his own mic to join the chorus.

the outcome of this promo was up to you, your manager had made sure that you knew that fact. he was prepared to damage control whichever side you chose, but how was the moment, and you were more unsure than ever. one look at imperium had you wanting to change allegiance. for all the talk about their true intentions, you knew one thing for certain, and that was imperiums power. they were a force to be reckoned with, and having gunther as an ally? that could do wonders for your career both in the stable and in your own solo endeavours.

yet, as you glanced to your side, seeing how sheamus watched you with uncertainty, the decision began to unblur.

he hadn’t spoken to you since the little dialogue mishap in the locker room. you had, at first, thought maybe he was disgusted by his own words, wishing he could take them back out of sheer unhappiness — but when you looked at him now, you could see past sheamus, and just see stephen, and you realised everything he had said was true.

“sheamus over here seems to have gotten it into his head that your allegiance to him is stronger than your want for success.” gunther’s menacing tone brought you out of your realisation, and you turned back to see how the man towered over you. “but you and i know better, don’t we, y/n? you’re a strong woman, you’ll make the right decision.”

a deep breath. “you’re right gunther.” a gasp echoed throughout the crowd as you seemingly made your decision to turn sides. the man in question watched you with a sly smirk, thinking his plan had worked. “my want for success is stronger than anything. so, i have to choose the side i know will get me there.”

you could practically feel the panicked looks of the brawling brutes, and when you turned to hand butch his microphone back, the expressions of betrayal were just as expected — especially from one particular redhead.

taking a step back, you made to stand with the imperium, facing your other stable-mates as the crowd shouted all sorts of nonsense directed at you, surely horrified by your abandonment. you waited a second, revelling in the reaction and allowing the imperium to glow in what they thought was a victory, before in one swift motion, you landed a back elbow straight into gunther’s stomach.

the crowd cheered again, and you wasted no time in stepping back across the ring to sheamus’ side, the grin creeping across the man’s face larger than you had ever seen before.

as you joined back by his side, he didn’t bother removing the microphone from his lips as he solidified his comment from the week prior. “that’s my girl.”

for once, you didn’t think about consequences, not caring that this wasn’t part of the plan or even prior discussed by the two of you — you knew he wanted it as badly as you by now. so, in one swift motion, coupled with a whisper of ‘your girl’, you grabbed sheamus by the back of the neck and pulled him down to crash your lips together.

if the shout from the rest of the brawling brutes was loud in your ear, the screams of the audience were practically deafening, but you barely focused on the reaction as sheamus dropped the microphone he held to the floor in favour of grabbing ahold of your waist.

[ozzgin]

Do you have any advice for those who want to post their stories and ideas on here but are just starting out

Not sure if I'm the best person to offer advice on these matters, as I feel my presence here has been mostly accidental. That being said, I am capable of introspection and I've been here long enough to notice patterns, so I can gladly share my own observations with you! Feel free to draw your own conclusions. Everyone else is invited to offer corrections or additions. :)

Guide under the cut because it's another long ramble divided in 3 parts.

What to post

The million-dollar question. Do you want to share original stories, or fanfiction? Various genres, or reader centered romances? You have the choice to try your luck and dive in with your own thing or scour the market to build a following first.

I've seen trending original stories from accounts who'd just started out, but don't use that as a reference for the quality of your own work. If you're not gaining traction, it doesn't automatically mean it's bad. There are hundreds of variables involved: the time, the context, the people. It takes one big blog to discover your story and share it, and you've taken your first step into recognition. The main issue is, there's no guarantee when or if it's going to happen.

Your other choice is to introduce yourself with fanfiction. Consider it a way of saying “let me show you my writing skills through something of your interest”. If you've been wanting to write fanfiction from the beginning, great! Now comes the next question: what is your goal? If you want more recognition, you'll want to consider the fandoms. Is there something you're into that's currently also trending on Tumblr? Writing for Hazbin Hotel, for example, will most likely get you more notes than writing for some 90s manga very few people know about. At the end of the day, you shouldn't feel pressured to write for what's "selling", but you can always find a compromise that works for you. Once you gain more followers, you can always sprinkle in more variety. Having more people who appreciate your work will give you a little boost when venturing into other areas.

I'll give you my personal case: I decided to share my Baki story right at the time a new season was out. It just so happened that many other people were interested in said character. "I only watched two episodes and immediately searched for fics", or "I saw an edit and now I'm here". So, there were people actively keeping tab on recent works for more content, and one of the relevant blogs in the fandom shared my content as well. That got the ball rolling. I've always been a multi-fandom blog, and thus with more visitors came more diverse requests. "Wait a minute, I came for X, but I see you like Y, too!"

TL;DR: If you're interested in original work or lesser known fandoms but want recognition, try to expand into trending and popular fandoms to gain visibility.

How to post

Is there a specific template you must adhere to? Absolutely not. However, I've noticed many common elements from people sharing their stories. There are authors who will dive right into the story, no title, no descriptions, but they already have followers who know what to expect. If you're just starting out, you might want to offer a helping hand to people who don't know you yet. Have a concise, clear title. Make it obvious from the beginning what your story is about. You can include trigger warnings or content previews. Maybe a little synopsis or two-three sentences to summarize everything. I've seen some blogs mention that their shorter stories get more interaction (1-2k words), so this might be something to consider. If you would prefer going for longer works, perhaps it's wise to give everyone a heads-up and include the word count at the beginning. If you want to encourage people to check out your other works, you can include a link to your masterlist at the top of the post.

Regardless of appearances, once your content is written, it needs to be tagged. Which brings us to the next topic:

This truly isn't meant to call anyone out, just something I noticed. Many people don't know how to use the hashtag feature.

Let me give you a fabricated example: you just published your best fanfiction so far. The magnum opus of your work. Time passes, and you barely get any notes. You tagged the post with #fanfic (because it's fanfiction, right?), #writers of tumblr (to notify other writers of your presence), and #series name. It's not bad by any means, but these are extremely generic hashtags. If your only anchor for the post is, say, #Harry Potter, it will be immediately drowned by the massive influx of various content under this tag: memes, fanart, discussions, screenshots. Everything meets here. If your story is a reader insert, your target is not only the overall fandom, but specifically the people looking for this type of story. Which characters are featured? Is it more of a fluffy romance, or downright smut? Is your original character a monster? If so, what kind? You have to help people find your content. If you're not sure what tags to include, use other blogs as reference. Find stories similar to yours and check the top posts. What other tags did the author use? Is there a common pattern among these popular stories?

TD;DR: Make your posts clear and obvious within the first few lines. Overly general or overly specific tags are not bad, but they shouldn't be your only identifying features. Make it very easy for people to navigate your blog (masterlists, consistent hashtag system, etc)

When to post

At one point I asked myself, out of curiosity, why some of my own posts are more popular than others despite the same amount of effort. Is there a difference depending on when you release your content? The answer is yes! There's an article discussing the best times to post on social media in order to maximize engagement. Of course, there's many variables involved, and these time intervals are not a guarantee. When are your followers most active? When do you notice a peak in notifications? Have a look at this neat desktop feature. It gives you all the answers you need. If your engagement is the highest at a given hour, it might be worth a shot to post your content then. You can also schedule your posts to match the patterns.

Let's say you posted something, and you suspect it hasn't reached all of your followers. Maybe it was a slow day, and it got less engagement than usual. I've seen people who reblog their own content the next day or even regularly, so you can opt for that if you're worried you missed out.

Additionally, Tumblr seems to reward activity. You may post as often or as little as you'd like, as long as you maintain a certain regularity. If you search for top posts/blogs of all time, you'll notice it's not actually an all-time chart, but only the content with recent engagement. A post with a million notes that hasn't been touched in 5 years won't show up. Same for blogs. The recommendations you see are of accounts who frequently post under the given hashtag. This is something to keep in mind as well.

Lastly, if you're willing/are extroverted enough, you can always try to network and build a group of mutuals. Reblog, leave comments, reach out to people within the fandom or who do the same thing. When a post is fresh, it may be temporarily bumped to the top of the search if it receives a burst of engagement. So, it definitely helps to have a bunch of friends who give you a little boost.

Yeah. This is what I have. It's not a matter-of-fact textbook, just what I personally witnessed or my own inferences. The most important detail is to give yourself time, and of course to have fun! I wish you the best of luck, and don’t forget that your ideas are worthy regardless of the outcome.

[danganronpadespairtime]

Chapter 2 Progress Report

This is a report and introspective about the development of Chapter 2 of Danganronpa: Despair Time.

TL;DR: Chapter 2 of DRDT will be released in 2 parts, rather than all at once. It seems likely that Part 1 can be released in early/mid 2023, *but there is still a chance it won’t come out that early.*

Batch release

I’ve recently decided to release Chapter 2 in 2 parts, rather than all at once. That is to say, I will start airing the episodes that I’ve made so far without waiting to finish Chapter 2. When each part is being released, it will be in consistent weekly episodes. In other words, Chapter 2 is being released as weekly episodes as expected, but in the middle of the episodes, there will be a hiatus. Hopefully this hiatus is much shorter, as I simply have to finish the remainder of Chapter 2.

Part 1 and Part 2 are not equal in length. Part 1 comprises of the majority of Chapter 2, about 70% of it. Although I won’t tell you exactly how many episodes are in Part 1 or where Part 1 ends; you’ll just have to see for yourself.

This was a recent decision, meaning that the writing of Chapter 2 may not have been specifically designed to accommodate this release structure.

I did say, once, that the entirety of chapter 2 *might* be done in early/mid-2023. I regret saying that now, as it seems like a lot of people had seriously taken that to heart.

The way things are now, for me to finish Chapter 2 in it’s entirety by early/mid-2023 would involve putting myself through hell.

That being said, I do believe that just Part 1 can be released by early/mid-2023 (unless I once again underestimated it. PLEASE take this release date estimate with a grain of salt!) This is because I am nearly finished with Part 1. All I have left is to finish the following tasks:

Make 2 mini-games

Animate a CG

One or two more rounds of editing passes + finishing touches on all episodes

Make a Chapter 1 recap video

Then I will start airing episodes of Chapter 2. So you can expect episodes to start releasing sooner than if I had waited to finish Chapter 2 first!

However, I do not wish to accidentally mislead everyone a third time. Although I’ll try my best, it is possible that I cannot finish in that time, so please don’t be surprised if it is not ready by mid-2023. If that happens, I will offer my apologies again.

Past progress

I always worry that I’m taking too long of a time to make DRDT. But I had only started making the episodes in March of this year, so the speed is actually really good. In that time, I produced a new episode slightly faster than once a month.

Then, the real reason that Chapter 2 is taking so long is that, for some reason, it took me an entire year to write the script. It was half a year to write the rough draft, and half a year to refine it with my proofreader, hydrator.

I don’t know why it took that long. It might just be that I was busy last year.

Voice acting

In general, there is more voice acting in this chapter. More scenes have voice acting, and per popular request, trial mini-games are fully voiced. However, there will NEVER be fully voiced trials, so please be understanding...

I’m really grateful to the voice actors, who as always are incredible with their talent and patience with me. It’s because of their amazing work that Chapter 2 can shine.

Quality improvements

Many people made it clear that they were generally unsatisfied with the quality of Chapter 1 in many ways. For that, I deeply apologize to those who were disappointed or unhappy.

I have tried my best to work hard and improve DRDT, so that everyone can enjoy it. I think that Chapter 2 is a lot better than Chapter 1 in all aspects, but especially with regards to the writing. If there is previous issues with the pacing, or with certain characters lacking scenes, I hope you can find these issues resolved in Chapter 2. Because of that, I am very excited about it, and I hope you can look forward to it.

Future updates

It seems that I’m running out of update posts to make. Because the content that I’m working on is spoilers, I cannot post previews. And with Chapter 2 taking this long already, I am hesitant to divert my time away from Chapter 2 work to make any bonus content like comics or illustrations. In any case, please understand that even if you hear less from me, I’m still working on DT.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading this far. I hope that you will enjoy Chapter 2 of DRDT, whenever it comes out. I will be happy if you continue to support me and my work.

[marzipanandminutiae]

I see you talking about ouat and it unlocked thoughts that have been neatly filed away for years so here I am, yelling them at you.

I assume at this point spoilers arent a problem anymore for you but you said you originally didn't watch past the frozen but a warning just in case.

I kept watching for quite a long time, but I quit after the whole thing with ruby and Dorothy because what? it just felt so incredibly forced and badly written? and I'd gotten so annoyed because before we'd already had the whole thing with aurora and mulan, which I was rooting for but okay, that didn't work out, too bad for mulan. then we get a perfect set up for ruby and mulan. and it's just. never mentioned again???? ruby comes back eventually but wtf happened to mulan? it annoyed me so fucking much let me tell you.

also I remember trying to write out family/relationship trees and stuff for ouat to see how weirdly convoluted everything got. was very impressed that it seemed they managed to avoid accidentally having incest or something in the show with everything that was going on there.

I have so many more things but this has already gotten way longer than intended. do you have a favourite part of the show? I'm assuming your favourite characters is either regina or emma?

Oh man all of that brings back memories. I didn't stick around long enough for Ruby and Dorothy, but I got the sense that they were doing it to try and counteract the "avoiding Swan Queen because homophobia" allegations.

(I actually don't think they WERE avoiding Swan Queen because of homophobia, necessarily. I think it was never their intent to begin with; they just happened to attract a sapphic audience who were deeply on the Enemies to Lovers train. I do think they may have indulged in a bit of queerbaiting, though, because of some Emma/Regina moments that happened after the writers definitely knew the ship existed. I think it was never going to be canon, but they handled it poorly once they realized that people saw it as an option.)

I stopped watching around Frozen for a couple of reasons:

On a personal level, I just got sick of seeing the characters I shipped with other people. That's not an objective problem; it's my opinion and not everyone will agree. But to me, Hook was a whiny insecure manchild and Robin had the personality of Clippy the MS Word paperclip, and damnit, I wanted Emma and Regina to kiss each other instead of them!

On a This Is Bad Storytelling level, I HATED how Frozen was integrated. Earlier stories had been a nice blend of traditional fairytales with Disney adaptation elements- Beauty and the Beast where Gaston and Chip are both kind of there but in subtler ways, for example, or Cinderella where her dress resembles the 1950s animated version but everything else is different. Frozen, though, was just...Frozen. The entire plot of the movie Frozen had happened before the characters entered the OUAT storyline, their costumes were identical to those in the movie, and while I've heard that they added some different backstory- it just wasn't the "Hans Christian Andersen story with subtle Disney touches" that I would have expected from earlier seasons.

Personally, I don't think the initial curse should have been broken in a season. I feel like that locked them into a pattern of having to continually invent a new Darkest Evilest Most Powerful Magic EVER!!!!! to top the previous season, and that took them to some really weird places (I heard they went to literal hell at one point?). The show had a cool premise and some interesting ideas- I loved how they managed to give individual kingdoms distinct cultures and even fashions. You can tell the "look" of Snow White's kingdom from Cinderella's and Cinderella's from Ariel's, etc.

Everyone who would watch an entire season of Abigail's Ancient Greek Steampunk-ish kingdom, raise your hands. Seriously, so cool.

But something went wrong, IMO around season 4. I'm not sure if the show had just outlived its original concept or had outside pressures pulling it in different directions or what. All I know is, as far as I'm concerned, the show ends when Emma and Henry leave Storybrooke in season 3A. Pity It Was Cancelled So Soon, etc.

(although OOC Matronly SnowTM would have been perfect for live slug reaction memes, so there's that)

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hiiiii! Since it's Hu Tao's birthday tomorrow, can I please have a scenario where reader celebrates her 🎂 🎇 🥂?? Thank youuu!!

Celebrating Hu Tao's birthday together

characters: Hu Tao x gn!reader

warnings: none

a/n: I'm writing this at 2 am, because today's also my mother's birthday and I won't have the time to write this during the day. So if I got some things wrong I am really sorry.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Hu Tao

Of all the people in Liyue, Hu Tao was the last person you had expected to have a somewhat normal birthday. Normally, she’d find some way of keeping both of you occupied, was it by advertising her services, dragging you along as her assistant to help her catch more fish than on her last birthday or going on a daytrip to one of the many places that caused the hair on the back of your neck to stand up. 

So imagine your surprise when, instead of doing anything remotely close to those activities, Hu Tao set you down at the table and forced you to admire her newly gained culinary skills she gained from the lessons she had with Xiangling, causing you to feel just the tiniest amount of fear at what she might put in when you weren’t looking.

As you silently listened to Hu Tao complain about the decline in coffin sales, the funeral director completely ignoring the fact that talking while eating wasn’t exactly the most mannered thing a person could do, you slurped on your noodles, making sure not to accidentally bite them in half while also questioning why they had to be made *this* long.

Or at least you were, until a certain someone suddenly jumped up from her seat in the middle of her sentence, screaming in your face before just as quickly returning to her sitting position, laughing at how you nearly emptied your bowl on your own clothes… and bit off the noodles in your mouth, causing the remaining part of it to fall back into the bowl.

“Tao!”, you tried to reprimand her, only for her laughter to grow even louder when she saw your face, causing you to let out a defeated sigh before wordlessly staring at you noodles.

“Do you want to buy a coffin now?”, the funeral director asked with a smile, only to explain herself further when you didn’t respond, “you know, because the noodl-”

“You don’t have to explain it to me, it’s not like this is my first time eating longevity noodles”, you cut her off, the small smile growing on your face as you realized why she insisted on you eating some of them, even though it was her birthday contrasting your annoyed tone. Eat them whole for a long life, but fail and you risk your lifespan being cut short. You were far from being superstitious, but that still didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy trying to keep them whole for as long as possible, if only as a challenge.

“If you know, then you should be especially interested in one, who knows how many years you just lost”, she joked before finally continuing on her own bowl, slurping up an especially long noodle as if it was nothing before showing you a smug grin.

“You know I don’t believe in that stuff”, was all you had to say, only for Hu Tao to give you a small shrug, prompting you to add something in a more playful tone.

“But if your little stunt did just shorten my life, I’ll make sure to haunt you.”

Not a moment after the words left your mouth, Hu Tao jumped up from her seat again before extending her hand towards you and yelling out “Deal!”, causing you to bite of the noodle you had just put in your mouth, prompting a whole lot of silent cursing from your end while the director broke out in laughter once again.

[yonglixx]

Hello! I am a baby stay - very enthusiastic and very confused!

I have questions but I keep seeing "fake fan" posts. Are stays usually excited about new stays joining or are they mean to new stays? Can I ask questions online or will stays be upset because I don't know very much?

Can you explain their names? I get confused by Minho and ¿Jeongin? - are those just other names for lee know and IN? Do other members have alternate names? Sometimes I can't figure out ship names and I think it's because of this. Han gets called something else too I think sometimes.

Thank you!

Hi:) sorry for taking too long to answer I was busy but im glad you're a fan:) so to answer your first question , no Stays don't mind at all!! I mean we all started as baby stays so I know it might seem scary but people are always happy and Im not sure where these "fake fan" posts are coming from , I personally have never seen them but ofc there will always be toxic fans (every fandom has it so thats expected but we have more good fans than toxic so thats good). Also, people are generally happy to receive any type of ask and they will not be mean at all, unless they are just a mean person haha (don't get discouraged , like I said more good fans than mean or toxics fans haha).

For your second question, yes they are just simply nicknames so they all have them , here are some commons ones and a good post on quora. And I know its confusing (I accidentally tagged them wrong in my posts when I was a baby stay haha so its all good nobody expects you to learn their names and nicknames right away, you'll get used to it as you go).

For your third question , completion albums like replay are divided into A side and B side so the B side tracks are with no psychical release so online but here is a google simple explanation: "SKZ-RECORD is a collection of songs by members of Stray Kids that were not formally released. These include special tracks, covers and other non-promotional projects released by the members on YouTube. SKZ-PLAYER is a collection of video projects by members of Stray Kids that were not formally released." And no not all skz songs are gonna have Music videos sadly but I don't think anyone really does that.

And for your fourth question, the only subunit that was established , I think before they became official is 3racha (han, Bang Chan, and changbin and also rap-line) and they produce the majority of their music so song writing, composing, and producing. The rest of the rachas followed this and while danceracha (Lino, Felix, Hyunjin) are the main dance group , so they lead, and sometimes help with choreography but they are not as established as 3racha but they are known to be I guess the "best" so thats why they lead, especially Lino. (he used to be a backup dancer for BTS). And then there is vocalrachca which is mainly Seungmin and I.N. All of this is confusing I know but don't worry, you will get it as you go.

For your last question, 'shipping' like in a friendship way is totally okay and we all do it but not more than that, like there are people who always just take it too far and it is very inappropriate and the members have not said anything unless its just to entertain their friendship 'ships' for fun. So when it comes to "shipping" just use common sense I guess, these are real people and we see them together all the time bc they are a group/freinds so you can't speculate on their personal or relationship status'. It's just deeply uncomfortable, unethical, and just weird so as long as its just for friendship like you will see a lot of people tag some posts with their favorite duo as "hyunlix" which is Felix and hyunjin for example but nothing weird. So here is again a great thread from Quora for those names.

Lastly, I just want to say I hope I answered your questions or some of them at least, its very confusing like I said, so just take it easy and be respectful and have fun and I hope you enjoy being a stay and thank you for asking:)

[phobia-sweets]

BTAS Dork Squad

He gets threatened but Y/N (who is kinda his rival/enemy) surprisingly steps up to protect him.

Y/N:"You will leave him alone."

Guy : "Says who?"

Y/N : "Says me."

After that she just gives some lame excuse like "There's a level to how much of a dick person can be" or "I'm the only one allowed to threaten you."

this was fun to write :D

I'm slowly getting back in my...groove? i suppose? For riddler, reader is a vigilante. For the other two, a criminal.

BTAS! Riddler, scarecrow and Mad hatter x reader

Warnings & Notes: None! :D not proofread again

RIDDLER

 Honesty, if you were told that hey. Riddler’s gonna try to reform, work for wacko toys and you were going to attend their party, you’d laugh in their face.

 Sure, you wanted him to stop his criminal ways but… This just did not seem… right? Almost like he was planning something. The Batman seemed to agree – he was almost certain this wasn’t the end of his crimes.

 Watching people laugh and chat away at the party, you sat on your seat sipping at your drink. You could hear Edward talking somewhere behind you, probably with Charles Baxter. The party so far had been quite uneventful. It was nice to be in the middle of civilians, it was much more calming than your nights as a vigilante on the corrupt streets of Gotham. You did feel out of place, though. 

 Turning around, you saw Edward, but not Baxter. Instead, chatting with Edward was someone else. You didn’t recognise them, and it looked like Edward didn’t, either. You couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but judging from Edward’s nervous smile and apprehensive body language, he did not like the situation.

 “Leave him alone.” You commanded, eyeing both of them. Tapping your fingers against the table, you were growing impatient with the man. 

 “Says who?” The man mocks, turning to look at you, walking closer.

 “Says me.” You stated nonchalantly, looking up at the person who had walked up to your table. Their smile faded when they met your eyes, recognising your face. From where, you didn’t exactly care. They muttered a quick ‘whatever’, walking to the exit quickly. You watched them leave, not noticing Edward sitting next to you, adjusting his jacket. 

 “Well, Good evening [Hero Name].” He smiled smugly. “May I ask what brings you here tonight? Didn’t take you for a toy collector.”

 “Am not. Just… enjoying the atmosphere, I suppose.” You sighed, leaning back in your chair.

 “I should thank you for earlier. I wasn’t exactly sure how to get them to leave. They were rather persistent about staying-” He explained, “But still, I wasn’t expecting you here. Especially not defending me. I apologise if I’m mistaken, but you do not like me, correct?”

 “As much as I doubt you’re actually trying to ‘reform’, there’s still a limit as to how much of a dick someone should be. Take it as a… I don’t know, an apology for all the times I’ve punched you.”

SCARECROW

 Having rivals or enemies in Gotham wasn’t that unusual. The city’s high rate of crime and, well, criminals made it easy to gain them. You’d considered yourself rather lucky for not having one despite having a fair share of your own crimes, mostly robberies, with an occasional extortion – Sure, people didn’t exactly like you, but those were mainly the people on the other end of your schemes. It was like that for a quite long time, until you’d managed to piss off Jonathan Crane – also known as the scarecrow, by destroying a batch of his toxin ACCIDENTALLY when you were being chased by the police. You had crashed your vehicle into the wall of an abandoned building, which then exploded in a cloud of red smoke, giving you a great chance of losing the police on your tail, but not without a more than healthy dose of toxin.

 Losing a massive batch of toxin had made him angry. It was honestly pretty obvious, considering when you met him after that and he promptly attempted to gas you. From that point onward, whenever the two of you crossed paths, it ended up in a fight of some kind. 

 So, the last time you two met, he had successfully gassed you. A revenge was in order, so here you were, behind an abandoned warehouse, where Jonathan was working on a new batch. How did you know this? Well, people talked when they had a knife to their gut.

 Sneaking through the broken window into the dark warehouse, you eyed your surroundings. Dust covered a majority of the surfaces, aside from some tables and bottles of various chemicals. The sound of yelling and clanging caught your attention, making you peek from behind the boxes in front of you. Jonathan was there with someone else. Jonathan was lacking his scarecrow get-up – wearing a labcoat instead, probably had been working on toxin before the man had interrupted him. 

 Jonathan wasn’t weak. But the man in front of him was… threatening, to say the least. Watching them interact made it clear that Jonathan wasn’t exactly prepared to fight him. Once the man walked closer to him, you took a deep breath, taking your knife from its holster.

 “You leave him alone – Now!” you stood up from behind the boxes, keeping your other hand hidden with the blade, just in case the man tried something. 

 “Says who?” He mockingly asked, walking towards you, surprised by your appearance. You kept your eyes on him, but saw Jonathan grab something at the corner of your eye. 

 “Says me!” You declared, pulling the knife from behind your back to stop him from coming closer. He didn’t stop though. Not until a cloud of red gas came from behind him, surprising him and causing him to inhale it immediately. You covered your mouth with your sleeve, stepping back. The man started screaming, as they usually do when under the influence of Jonathan’s toxin. He ran, and you turned to look at Jonathan as he watched the man scream in terror with a smile on his face. 

 “A thank you would be nice, y’know. If I hadn’t shown up, he’d have bashed your head straight through that desk. Probably. I don’t know.”

 He turned to look at you, his other eyebrow slightly raised, as if evaluating you. “Well, then, tell me, why help me?”

 “I mean, as much as I want to punch you, I don’t want to see you all bloody on the brink of death.”

MAD HATTER

 Ah, yes. The mad hatter. You weren’t exactly sure how to feel about him. As a fellow criminal, yeah, sure, you had a sort of respect for him, but god, did he sometimes get in your way. 

 Like that one time you were planning on robbing a jewellry store. You hadn’t told anyone about it! Yet somehow when you got there, Jervis was there with his mind-controlled… henchmen? When he noticed you, he proceeded to call you Cheshire, and rambled on something about a teaparty. You just left without saying anything. You made it your mission to avoid him from that point on. Sure, tea sounded nice, but you had a job to do! Steal, run, sell. 

 It wasn’t much of a surprise you spotted Jervis from far away. The hat was usually a giveaway. Not many people wore tophats in Gotham. It was the man next to him that surprised you. Usually Jervis’s henchmen wore a mask, an outfit or a hat related to, well, alice in wonderland. Had to keep the theme. Walking closer, it became obvious the man was not one of Jervis’s henchmen. Jervis looked quite distressed, the man towering over him. 

You sprinted towards the two of them, yelling, “Oi! You stop right now!” You stopped a few meters behind them both, just in case.

 “Says who?” The man turned to look at you, not reacting in any other way.

 “Says me.” You challenged, taking out your pocket knife. The man immediately backpedaled, hands raised to show he didn’t have a weapon.

 “Wow, wow, relax, relax. I’ll go, ok?” He reasoned, walking away from the two of you. You put your knife back when he turned the corner and you couldn’t see him anymore. 

 “Thank you, thank you, let me thank you with a brew!” He exclaimed, holding onto your arm. You thought about it for a minute. It wouldn’t hurt, right? But then again… You had a job and a tight deadline. You turned to look at him again when you heard him question you with a quick ‘cheshire’, and you took his hands off from your arm. 

 “I’m sorry, Jervis. I can’t. But remember; I’m the only one allowed to threaten you, ok?” 

[mylivejournalsucks]

Bottleneck.

I went to Minneapolis for work: the birthplace of Brenda and Brandon Walsh, the city where Mavis from Young Adult calls home. I was being interviewed at a college in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I do college talks as often as they'll have me. To be frank, the money is good. I think back to all the colleges I visited back in my Thought Catalog days—Princeton, Yale, UCLA, McGill, Emerson, University of Vermont—when I didn't have an agent and students would ask me what my quote was.

"Um, just pay for my flight and hotel? IDC!" I said.

One time I gathered up the courage to ask for $500. Now I know I could've made more than my yearly salary.

But it's not about the money. Not entirely. I've realized, especially in recent years, that I love dedicating chunks of time to things that have nothing to do with my Real Life. Getting flown to a city I would never go to ordinarily, researching restaurants, eating the local cuisine (aka going on Grindr) feeling beholden to no one, getting to talk to a group of kids who've been spent the last few years living primarily with Ideas, it's heaven. It feels luxurious, like a nibble of dark chocolate before bed. Sometimes I think if I could live the bulk of my life as a bottle episode—nothing of story consequence, could stand on its own or be cut for time—I would. Bottle episodes are typically the strongest, anyway. They don't have to be bogged down with exposition or serialization. They can just exist and show off the good bones of a TV show.

As you get older, it's harder to just exist. Suddenly everything has consequence, everything is connected. We've designed our lives to to be constantly building, building, building. Go here to get there.

When I'm in these random cities, I'm going fucking nowhere. I'm laying in my hotel bed, AC blasting, watching episodes of Chopped at 1am, my jet-lagged face lit up by my laptop. I'm Googling "Best coffee in Minneapolis" I'm drinking the best coffee in Minneapolis (really good, tbh) I'm working out in the hotel gym with the other mentally ill freaks who can't go three days without exercise endorphins, I'm thinking about going to this museum everyone is raving about while knowing full well I am never going to go, I'm answering an email or two, I'm accidentally getting a huge chunk of writing done—writing that would've taken me a week in Los Angeles—because nobody knows me here, nothing is expected of me. I have nowhere to be. I am really horny all of the time. Hotels put you in that frame of mind. The bed says: "Why are you not having sex with a stranger on me? That's what I'm here for." And then sometimes I do have sex with a stranger. If it's good, the place I'm visiting will suddenly feel like home. Now that I've had a local's penis inside of me, I get why people live here. If it's bad, the limits of the bottle episode will be tested when I fly back in a rotten mood.

Does my enjoyment of these "work trips" belie a larger dissatisfaction with my real life? Yes. No. Maybe. Fuck off.

A state of unease has settled on my chosen city, Los Angeles. The industry I work in is like a weather forecast. And just like the real weather, there's been an inordinate amount of rain. Something's not right. (actual weather: Climate change, Hollywood: Monopoly is being adapted into a movie.) No one knows how to fix it. When will the person in charge come back? Wait. You're telling me there was never a person in charge? Oh no.

Of course, my ego requires me to say I am one of the lucky ones in that I currently, as of this writing, have a job. But even in bustling times, a writer feels insecure. Being prosperous means knowing what the next six months of your life looks like. That's it. And then it's back to planting those seeds knowing most won't bear any fruit. (I spend three days in the Midwest and I'm trying out farming metaphors.)

When I am in these cities or small towns, I am there for a job, which means I know money is coming in. And anything happening back in Los Angeles is none of my goddamn business. Until it has to be.

These cities I visit are full of ambitious people but I project so much on to them. They've chosen to live in cities with affordable housing and James Beard award-winning restaurants. Any unease they feel comes from within and not from watching the Hollywood stock market, otherwise known as the trades. Their lives belong to them whereas I don't know if mine totally does. There's so much powerlessness that comes with my profession. What if a network that is paying my mortgage merges with a Sbarro's tomorrow and, poof, no more job? I wish I were joking but the only comedy getting made right now is Real Life, streaming everywhere.

I want to figure out how to live life more like a bottle episode. How can I take this back to Los Angeles without becoming irresponsible? I don't want a different life. I just want my life to stop feeling different. I want things to go back to "normal" which, for Hollywood, is still crazy but, like, I'm not scared of Sbarro's taking my job.

I am a cynical optimist. Everything is cyclical. It will land somewhere. But, in the meantime, how do you stay inspired when you are told everybody is looking for things that are "safe" which is code for "nothing that comes out of your faggot gimp brain?" How am I supposed to feel when I see my business chasing after IP no one gives a shit about and spending $200 million because they can only conceive of teeny tiny or big bang boom? Baby Reindeer is one of the most popular TV shows right now. I haven't seen it yet but it's a show with no stars (no offense!) and no action figures. Just people trying to figure out less painful ways to be alive, like all the best kind of art explores. It reminds me of Fleabag's success. When your premise is simple, you can be complex. And, yet, I feel like the wrong lesson will be metabolized. "Stalkers! Let's reboot the movie Disclosure, even though no one watched it the first time!"

The thing is, we're all miserable living under these mandates. And, yet, we made the rules. If only someone would just realize no one is coming to save us. We have to save ourselves.

Anyway, my favorite bottle episode is Girls, season two, episode five "One Man's Trash." A show everyone is rediscovering but probably wouldn't get made today for reasons that are made up and nobody understands or agrees with.

[imtheflash]

I got a Wanda request for x male reader where they've been married for a couple months (but nobody knows yet) and all day Wanda has to deal with people flirting with reader and checking him out until she cracks and admits they're married

The Married Life Pt.1

"One more?" you plead pulling her back into you. Her hair is cascading down her shoulders and she looks ethereal because of the way the sun is shining on her face.

"One more" she promises you as her soft hands clutch your face and she leans in guided by your hands clasped at her waist to kiss your lips once more You feel her steady herself from where shes straddling you. You were intoxicated.

When she pulls away and you chase her unconsciously until she gives in and pecks you once more. You pout as she gets off of you.

"Come on" She says. "People will get suspicious." You sigh agreeing. "oookaay" you get out of bed pulling on the shirt that was laying on your right. She leaves your room first and you hover for a minute straightening your appearance before leaving the room.

You're morning is uneventful, though its spent secretly winking at Wanda from across the Compound kitchen. You pick a time to get some exercise, landing on a slot that leaves the gym usually empty. After changing you walk into the gym freezing when the Avengers were occupying it. Although Tony himself had made it clear you could use the gym even though you weren't an avenger you still stalled hoping to leave without being seen. Your job in the compound was that of a handyman, really only simple things, like a door nob that couldn't hand supersoldier strength or accidental broken sinks as well as painting and putting together broken furniture.

Unfortunately Natasha sees you waving you over.

"Hey Y/N! Come over here.

The first thing on your list is weighted squats. Grabbing the bar and sliding on the weights you steady your feet before squatting. From beside you, theres a wolf-whistle.

"Yeah Y/N look at those muscles" Clint says from a decent space away. Its just loud enough for Wanda to hear who nods at you mouthing 'I agree'. You blush murmuring a thank you. Before finishing your reps and moving on. The next thing on your list is sparring.

You move onto the mat waiting for an opponent. Bucky slides under the ropes and raises his eyebrows.

"you up for a challenge?" he asks tauntingly with a lilt in his voice so you know he's joking.

"Of course I am" you reply "Unless you don't think you can take it"

"We'll see about that" he says.

You start sparring eventually landing on top of him and keeping him down besides his apparent struggles.

"I quite like this position" he says looking up at you smirking. You blink before you register what he said and falter in your hold. He takes advantage of you to flip you over before leaning into you close to your ear. "But I like this one better."

You stutter out a quiet oh before slipping out from under him and basically vaulting over the ropes to Wanda near the free weights. Natasha smirks unknown to both of you after seeing the way you relax in Wanda's presence deciding to leave after sharing a few words.

Sighing once you exit the gym faster than usual missing half the exercises on your list.

As soon as you leave you stand in a corner leaning on it. You look down still phased by the earlier events and miss Wanda's storming out of the gym. You only look up when you feel a body thrown against your own. Wanda pressed against you pulls your face down to hers holding your chin. She doesn't kiss you, but whispers one singular word against your lips that makes you weak in the knees.

"Mine"

You lean further expecting her to kiss you when really all you feel is air. Wanda has already stepped away from your flustered state smirking at the effect she has on you. The towel slips from your shoulders and you lean to pick it up. By the time you look up she's gone.

Thank you for the request Anon! Its been a lot of fun to write but also I have to be careful to not make it similar to another fic ive read (not marvel) so..... expect part 2 soon but not too soon bc i have to come up with more ideas. ALSO MALE READER! MALE READER! MALE READER! YEAAAAAAH! the title is shit im aware don't come at me

[fallowtail]

Top 5 Hetty outfits - jk ahem. Top 5 ghosts dynamics?

Oh this is rough their dynamics are all SO good....aahhhh ok. Ok. Going to try my best to fight my brain fog and lack of articulation skills to briefly explain why I chose them! These aren't in order either because that'd be just too evil, lol. Ok.

...I'M DOING SIX YOU CAN'T STOP ME because I accidentally wrote six of these because I miscounted and I don't want to delete one that I already wrote up, lol

Hetty and Trevor ...ok, this one is obvious, but they're just. So. Weird. In a way that you don't expect but that works absolutely perfectly. They're so similar when you get down to it and they bounce off of each other hilariously, I feel like that scene from Isaac's book where Hetty has created a scheme, and is so proud of herself for how devious she is, while Trevor rolls his eyes because he knows how stupid it is but he is still going along with it anyway because he knows if he does she'll give him a treat later (which she does!) sums up their dynamic really well. I love that they butt heads so much and think they have nothing in common when they so clearly do, lol. The way he's slowly shifted into being fondly amused by her vs aggravated is really cute- the way they're both so enthusiastic about what they get up to in the basement is so sweet, Trevor actively wanting Hetty to open up to him, to talk to him and be silly and let loose...that fond little smile she makes at him when he's being a goober during the pillow talk scene. Ugh. They do genuinely like each other but are just so stuck in their ideas about what they should want that they dig their heels in. This is the one I am the most mad about not being able to properly explain how I feel because there is just. SO. MUCH. Going on there with them. Why am I not good at writing, AHHH

Isaac and Hetty THE BESTIES! Oh Isaac and Hetty are just sooo funny like he watched her live her entire life, they are best friends, the two of them both think they run the house but they constantly default back to each other and are usually the only ones the other will listen to, he tried to romance her and then told her he was gay, he enables her bad behavior, he both refuses to take romantic advice from her but also desperately wants her advice, he deeply loves her but very clearly thinks there is something wrong with her, they have dates where they just stare out the window for hours, she clings to him constantly like he's a security blanket, she envies his ability to find love but also kind of hates his boyfriend who she encouraged him to get together with LOL, they're gossip besties, they both deeply crave the others approval, Isaac being happy Hetty found her stableboy but also not being sure why she's chosen Trevor, like. Oh my god. I love Isaac and Hetty so much that I can't find the words even more than the others. They're just so, so, so perfect together and you can always see Brandon and Rebeccas best friendship come through with these two, their scenes are always my favorite.

Sam and Hetty Wow, I wonder if there's gonna be a trend here with which dynamics I enjoy the most because it involves my blorbo, hmmm Something about Sam and Hetty finding family within each other and wanting to learn from their past mistakes and heal from their family damage with each other and then still falling into those same patterns they did in life but with the desire to fix it this time when they realize is so interesting. I love how even in the pilot Hetty warms up to the idea of her moving into the mansion so quickly despite claiming otherwise, and that even in as latest as the Halloween episode you can see them butting heads over Hetty's need to manage people to express care because she thinks she knows best and if she knows best, why wouldn't she tell people how to get what they want? And Sam lashing out when people do that to her because she wants her accomplishments to be her own and for someone to be proud of her for what she does.

Hetty and Flower and Alberta Look I said there was gonna be a trend but I'm squeezing the Lady Ghost Society into one group so that my last 3 answers aren't all for them, lol. The way the lady ghosts interact is so fun and I love that they're all different- Hetty and Alberta being all over each other this season despite their huge conflict at the end of s2, the way Flower and Alberta were the ones who volunteered to be roommates originally, Flower not realizing Hetty didn't understand what good sexual stimulation felt like and then being distraught when she realized Hetty didn't know what happened to her on the washing machine and Hetty feeling comfortable enough to come to Flower to confess her sins and Flower helping her work through it, Alberta having forgotten Flower's name in season 1 but then in season 2 she's the one who makes sure Flower remembers what her name is, it's just so...!! The fact they have a Lady Ghost Society Council is so cute too, oh my god.

Isaac and Trevor Oh my god one that doesn't involve Hetty, what the hell Isaac and Trevor are so interesting...they're kind of similar to H-Money in that on paper you don't think they'd get along, but their interactions are so?? I think Isaac envies Trevor in a way because he's so easily "one of the guys" which is all Isaac ever wanted, buuuut he also thinks Trevor is kind of an idiot, lmfao, because Isaac just thinks everyone in the house except for him and Hetty aren't particularly intelligent I think. (Also he can't get past the pants thing.) Trevor and Isaac both so very, very desperately, just want people to like them, both of them make up these stories about cool things they did to fit the persona they so badly want the others to believe...The Liquor License is such a good episode for them, the way Trevor is content to tease Isaac when he thinks Isaac is having fun doing his snooty thing but then as soon as he realizes Isaac got left alone he goes to find him...they're just really, really fun to pair up together and I'm looking forward to this next episode with them being a duo! You can really see Brandon and Asher's friendship shine through in their scenes together.

Isaac and Sam Isaac and Sam's relationship is so weird and I absolutely love it. Isaac shadowing Sam all day in the new episode and kind of making fun of her "Yogaaaa!", them doing yoga together and her ditching him when he fell asleep...there was an interview back in December where Rose talks about the Sam and Isaac dynamic and how weird it is saying Sam just really seems to want to serve him and his best interests and that there's something going on with Sam for her to want that out of Isaac LOL, she really does seem to cave into him the most out of any of the ghosts because something in her just seems to want to impress him? But at the same time he annoys her. It's fascinating. That little heart to heart they had about not needing outside approval but then immediately dropping it as soon as they got approval for her book was SO funny and they really just want everyone to like them and be proud of them and it makes for such a fun relationship to explore.

Phew! Ok, that was long, and I'm frustrated I can't properly say what I actually want to say or feel for any of these but hopefully that all comes across decent enough! <3

Ask me my top 5 anything game!

[for-gilded-cups-are-empty]

Katalepsis after live-read thoughts collection

So, now that im caught up about in time for book 1 to end, i am just regurgitating half-thoughts ive had along the ride, doing some retrospection and working my way through all the stuff i still want to draw.

I think thats one of the big things i really noticed and appreciated about katalepsis. Theres just drawability to it. I havent decided yet if its Hungrys writing style in general, the genre, or most likely, a characteristic of Heathers that got me to figure out i can use my laptop as a drawing tablet. Heather in her internal monologue just has a real appreciation for spaces.

A space is rarely a backdrop to do a scene in, the places and buildings and dimensions are characters to heather in a way that just makest a lot of sense for someone who grew up seeing the personified spirits of the everyday world as well as the varied wilds of Outside.

When the Stairwell trap is sprung, theres a very real feeling of betrayal, the willow house has forsaken raine and heather, who previously thought it a sanctuary.

We later learn that the space was bound, artificial, forced to act against its inhabitants in a way a house usually would not, which fits some themes that come up waaaaayy later.

I originally thought this would just be a quirk of heathers, some flavor to her thought processes, but it really did get picked up as an actual story beat, not just an aesthetic, with the soul of edward lilburnes house.

The Outside places are a bit more metaphorical about this, but strangely more clearly alive as well. The Library is an extension of the catalogue, wonderland is dominated by the eye. Ooran Juhs Projected space is his own physical gullet. Carcosa is the stage of a living play. The very first outside space we get to properly see is on the back of some giant creature, hairs and all.

Theres just Personality to every place that keeps them all so very, very vivid.

Ive been planning to draw wonderland ever since the mirror incident at the very beginning of the story, and in a very funny way, as ive drawn other stuff along the way ive been training for wonderland and the eye along with the cast. I really want to do it justice.

Staying on said cast for a bit, ive already talked about raine for a good bit, but theyre all amazing. I was always happy to see that an arc or a few chapters would become a cast members designated backstory time, because i really do want to know more about them and how they work as people. After about the middle point of the story though, those moments and how they connected became pretty hard for me to keep track off

For a reader who was along for the ride since the start, having to wait between chapters as they come out, the pacing probably works way better than it did for me.

I found myself really wishing for more time with the spookycule in each stage of development it had. Early katalepsis with just raine evee and heather is probably where it was the closest to ideal for me, in terms of just vibes i enjoy and things to keep track of.

I dont want to be too analytical, im bad at that, but for example we only see the fractal used to banish a sharrowford cult servitor once.

There could have been way more time spent in the twilight of magic, the street level zone, where every accidental slip outside is a moment of grand terror, and heather learns to live with the idea that the spirits are real.

For someone who gets called “Shaman” a lot later on, we only really see her asking a spirit for directions once (the wrecking ball hands gorilla), where i was expecting that to become a very integral bit of her kit as a character. I love the cephalopod changeling we got instead, but i do feel there could have been a heather who learned to work with her non brain pain vomit inducing abilities for practical reasons, at least for a little while.

After that comes the Messenger demon and maisies message. Knowing the rest of the story, i love that the primary motivation set up here has jack and shit to do with Ed or Alex. This isnt a story about killing the bad guy, its in a very serious way a story about love and that is what should motivate the characters.

Ed and Alex really are just invaders to the story, who grasp at threads that should not concern them at all, with their meddling eventually causing the collapse of Alexs portion of the cult under the Eyes gaze.

I dont quite know how much actual space is in between Kimberly and Zheng joining the household, but this is really the part of the story where just a lot happened at once. We get both badger and sarika, the entire abyss transformation and zheng so very close together.

During the time of the dead hands there is actually some breathing room though. Mostly because set dead hands keep us consigned to a breathable atmosphere for a bit.

The other big stretch of story that i wish lasted longer is the post proposal journey with sevens and saldis through carcosa. Given how time works outside, that whole stretch of time could have really stretched for a while without threatening the maisie limit, and i do wish that some of sevens later character development had happened in here, since i didnt quite know what to think of her after they left the palace, whereas right now in the end she is one of my favourites. I still dont know what i think of the king in yellow being in this story at all, but thats a me issue.

Yeah, so given that most of the smaller thoughts ive already posted in the liveread chat, i guess ive now covered my two big thoughts. I love how katalepsis treats spaces, and the only thing i had any problems with was the pacing, which tbh might just be because i didnt take my time when reading at all.

Time for even less structured thoughts now, just a rapid fire of things that come to mind after reading:

I hope we eventually get a perspective on the worlds cosmology from a mage fully unconnected to the vaguely interconnected british underworld of mages, im very curious how deeply different interpretations of outside, the abyss, demons and beyonders a person might have if they never interacted with the humunculus wars environment. The abyss beeing wet and aquatic seemed to be a general truth, to edward, zheng and even lozzie, until we met taika for example. I want to see more of that.

I said earlier that sevens has become one of my favourites, which is kinda stupid since most characters are my favourite at something by some measure, but Raine and Evee are still the two that are the most meaningful or connected to me. Ive already gone into maybe too much detail on how Raine just works in a way that ive never seen portrayed in anything for some reason. What i havent really realized until about now is how similar evees struggle is. There is that same need to feel useful. They both define their fundamental self via a skill that is in some way repulsive to them for whatever reason, and must cling to another to point them in a direction where they feel they can use it to do good. Evee has to feel useful, has to justify her presence and her dangerous knowledge to herself to some degree, and helping heather is how she does it for now.

The fundamental difference i think is that Raine chose to define herself that way, as knight errant, as supporter, while evee feels any other option to act on the world was taken from her by her mother. This mostly takes the form of her physical disability often stopping her from acting in time, reaching places, but also stopping her anorgasmia seemingly stopping her from loving in the way she thinks is correct (at that point of the story at least. Both of those are changing of course, mostly thanks to Praem).

It kind of lines up with Kimberly in a funky way, since she essentially decided not to use sorcery to justify her presence, both in the house and the story, but still remained around and appreciated, as a sort of in universe counterpoint to evees negative view of herself.

Thats all i can think of for now, i dont actually now how to end this, this isnt a sotry analysis, i have no conclusion except that im glad i caught up so close to the end, because im excited to see all of us react to whatever crazy shit is going down live!

[dailylucifernetflix]

I wrote a beginning of an ask, clicked at a notification, and got deleted. Never mind that. "I was premaetitevely saying sorry for complaining at fandom stuff in your ask box" pretty much covers what that was. Sorry for that. This. (Or not, if you do want to talk about this stuff.) You are just about the only active Lucifer (TV) blog I know about. I would love to talk about this. This is very out of nowhere.

As I watched the show I (in a I may yet get this sort of a way) wanted, very much, to have a different show than I got. I saw the setup, the characters, their experiences, the events. I enjoyed watching it, but I also wanted for it to be a little more critical and a little less of a comedy. I wanted things to not be played for the laughs as much. I wanted for things to get serious, for Lucifer to be agreed with that he has been hurt, for him to be said to have been done wrong to. And, above that, I wanted that followed through with. I wanted for God to be punished for what he did to him.

Preferably killed in a fun little magic war with magic superpowers, I never expected that to happen in the show. Just in fanfic. I do not think it has happened in fanfic. (this is me asking for fanfic recs, if you have any)

I saw Lucifer. I empathized with Lucifer. With his situation, with his reactions. I saw that he was hurt.

I wanted for him to hurt the person who has hurt him back.

I can think that punishing people is a shit thing that hurts them. I can think that, from a mortal standpoint, punishment is bullshit. God having a redemption arc would have left me satisfied... but, no, I didn't expect that. I did think it was more probable for it to happen than for war on God to happen. But I expected the show to disappoint me.

As I watched it I remember I thought it was not quite brave enough to say what it sometimes showed. That it was not brave enough to straight up say God is a bad guy here. (if it had it would have probably not ran as long as it did, so, fair of it to itself, but still dissatisfying to me as an audience)

I am probably rambling. (I am writing this in an ask box, on mobile. I have accidentally delated three paragraphs. This is the Tumblr experience.)

I saw God do terrible things to Lucifer. I saw that he put him in hell (a terrible place) that he set the world up in a way that allowed for hell to exist (humans can leave, the show says, it is just the guilt that holds them here, but the thing about building a world is that you decide how it works and defending God's actions on the basis of its just how it is is a lot like saying the female characters fight magic wars in bikini and shoot lasers from their boobs because that's just how magic wars work in superhero city) (the world works how the writer decides it does)

This is pretty much just me complaining. I probably dont have a point I am gatting at. (This was brought on by Good Omens Season 2, in a side effect short of way. Mostly I was just reminded that damn remember how you watched that other christianity fanfic, remember how you stared at a wall and imagined a version of it that was more suited to your personal tastes and opinions and also had more superpowers shit because those do always look so cool)

Actually, if there was a point to this, then that point is fanfic. Have you, by chance, ever found the sort of a fanfic that really gets into God Is Bad Let's Wage A War sort of thing? Or if not, then something that approaches it? Something that at least frames God as a villain? Not only Lucifer's-Imaginary-Abusive-Human-Parent (pre-reveal kind of stuff) but full of actual God. Altrough, well, I'd read that too.

I suppose the thing I specifically really want to read is: Ella losing faith, properly so. Linda not just... going wow that's God but going oh shit that's Lucifer's abuser. I suppose I want to read about angels falling from Heaven and being framed as the ones in the right by the narrative. I suppose I want there to be a war. I suppose I would like to read about Hell Economics.

I probably should just write something myself at this point, but I am never very attached to but that's canon and would go if I change this I can change so much many more things to create a world I, myself, would like reading about more, and at that point, this would get very far from what the actual show was doing and I would stare at it and go that is a little too ambitious for me.

Yeah, no, the point of this was: do you by chance have any fanfic recs that you think I would like. Really sorry for bothering you if this bothered you... If you don't want to post this ask (very understandable) but would be open to offering any fanfic recs could you, idk, do a hello to that anon, have some fanfic in a separate post? I would really appriciate that.

...I'll, uh, go ask you about any active Lucifer blogs you know in a separate ask. (the fandom seems dead. is it dead? is it just you here?)

hello dear anon!

ngl reading this was an experience but one that i actually really enjoyed. i loved reading all of your thoughts and some of them i actually understand quite good. i enjoyed what we saw with lucifer but yes, there are some things that were missing for me, too. it's totally okay that you kind of even expected something different from it. you're allowed to have your own opinion.

either way i'm sorry to tell you that i don't read any fanfics but PLEASE if someone who reads this has any fanfic recs specifically like asked above that would be appreciated.

also sorry your initial ask got deleted and also some paragraphs accidentally by yourself. been through that and it's annoying.

the fandom is indeed dead except an occasional gifset every now and then (also by me @mauraeyk lol) i think it's more active on twitter and you're definitely not bothering me. i'm just sorry i can't be more helpful. take care! <3

- kers

[kittykittyhunter]

The Close

On Friday 12 March 2004, I made an account on fanfiction.net and used the nickname kittykittyhunter for the very first time.

ff.net was the first place where I ‘existed’ online.  I uploaded a fanfic the same day I joined – a poem about Dark Magician Girl from Yu-Gi-Oh! – but later deleted it out of embarrassment.  Over the years, I went on to upload and delete a fair few works for similar reasons: a sense of awkwardness over my earnestness, recognising too many gaping holes in my writing and just… pruning my account when I failed to finish multi-chap stories.  I made some wonderful friends through the site, one of whom remains a precious presence in my life.

Now, my ff.net is an archive my stories for The Prince of Tennis (the ones featuring the Echizen family, anuway). I’m happy with it staying like that. Then, sometime in 2006, I joined deviantART:

dA taught me a lot about writing.  Suddenly, I was exposed to extremely talented and versatile writers; I understood what it meant to be part of writing communities and give meaningful feedback.  (I utilised these skills during writing workshops at university several years later – by that point, it was natural for me to pinpoint, celebrate and help to refine aspects of a piece.) Only one of my deviations is still visible; I placed the others in storage mostly, once again, due to feeling embarrassed by my earnestness and skill level.  Nevertheless, I am proud of what I achieved on the site – I received through two Daily Deviations, features that were largely coveted in the writing community (I know that I wanted one for years!), and the attention that those works got gave me the confidence to think that yes, perhaps I was a decent writer, perhaps it was not a mistake to think that I might publish books someday. I certainly fell short on some fronts on dA... however, I think it may be time to forgive myself and perhaps, one day, I can make amends. The most important habit that deviantART inspired in me was this:

A few people I looked up to had a saying: “Comments over faves.”  Written feedback meant much, much more than simply pressing the little star-shaped 'Favourite' button – and that’s something I carried across to tumblr, to some extent.  I use replies pretty liberally here, talking to people who may not want to hear from a complete stranger.  Even so, I definitely want to get better at tagging the artwork I reblog – I know there’s nothing like reading an explosion of feelings under your work. Once again, I met some incredible friends through deviantART.  I’ve had the wonderful privilege of being able to meet some of my online friends in real life.  It’s a very special feeling to be able to embrace someone you’ve lovingly sent texts, emails and letters to.

Then, on Sunday 30 January 2011, my friend succeeded in persuading me to make a tumblr account.  I suppose that I didn’t really know what to expect from tumblr; however, I fell for the site quickly and now, I can’t imagine having an online presence on any other social media platform, even with the various issues tumblr has had during recent months. I accidentally deleted my original blog in 2020.  I lost approximately 36,000 posts.  I oscillated between feeling distraught and relieved; I despaired at losing a lot of memories and work but, at the same time, was grateful that this meant I wouldn’t subject myself to the laborious task of going through the entirety of my archive and re-tagging my posts for uniformity.  I can be ridiculously pedantic about things like that – so it was good that the option was taken from me. I still haven’t quite connected with the writing communities on tumblr – but I know that there are a lot of skilled writers here. There are a few authors I deeply admire; I would love to get to know them.

Bizarrely, I joined AO3 on Thursday 12 March 2020 – exactly 16 years after I’d joined ff.net. AO3… I had a lot of plans for this site (including a fanfic list as long as my arm) but, somehow, I could never really warm to the layout… I’m a real elitist and have issues with using/joining sites that are ‘ugly’.  And, while I’ve received some comments on AO3, it is largely a pretty quiet and passive experience – readers come and go and leave a fly-by kudos and, as a writer, that’s not so satisfying. I'm not inspired to upload work there. I might still post the occasional fic (though I’d prefer to spend my time writing original works, sometimes, the allure of fanfiction is pretty powerful), but it won’t be through AO3 – and it won’t be under the moniker of kittykittyhunter. It’s been 20 years.  20 years of brilliant memories and friendships – 20 years where I’ve learnt a lot about myself, others and the world at large.  But I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I’ve decided that it is time to retire kittykittyhunter.  Ultimately, I think want people to associate KKH with the writing that I’ve shared online up until now, so this blog, too, will be an archive of my poetry and prose. It feels strange.  Surreal.  I’ve associated myself with the name kittykittyhunter for so long that it seems as though I’m losing something momentous – like the process of reinventing myself, this time, will be far more arduous than it has been in the past.  I don’t know what kind of reception I will get.  Yet, over the years, I’ve also come to align myself with the phoenix – one who reemerges, again and again, stronger and brighter. My blog icon comes from the Yu-Gi-Oh! card ‘A Feather of the Phoenix’. Isn't it funny that these things are so cyclical? I pray that a good path is meant for me. Thank you to everyone who has been with me up until now: your love and generosity has meant the world.