#i am not planning to eat anyone | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roryfrommybabysittersavampire · 10 months

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I did not choose to have fucking cannibalism as a special interest but here we are folks :3 painted this in art class for a typography assignment.

#cannibalism #watercolor #I love the bible #there are surprising amount of bible verses about cannibalism. not one of them distinctly says not to do it :3 #i am not planning to eat anyone #autism posting #my evaluation is in exactly one week I can finally say that without feeling stupid soon #meow #gray stop typing pls #i have therapy in 45 minutes #this is a great use of my time #also writing a poem about being a dog #dog motif wants me dead #I'll update if I'm so insufferable she discontinues my care #my art #hey this animal can talk #yo update I'm autistic

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outlying-hyppocrate · 1 month

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well. did you fucking miss me.

#random thoughts #apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it #i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful #which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain #i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough #and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary #fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW #I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT #I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW #(<- tags canceled for now)

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b-blushes · 2 months

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thursday quest - no physical therapy today - make and eat lunch sooooo early but i can do it!!!!! - get ready for wedding - attend wedding! yay! (: - decompress well when i get home <3

#its thursday quest #god i'm so anxious about it autism style. so many uncertainties that i simply cannot account for alone. but i'm being sooo 'brave' about it #(keeping it to myself. except for posting about it)#taxi company hasn't texted me the drivers' details yet and i emailed them to be like ummmm your policy is to pay before the day #would you like to email me the payment details so i can do that? and they were like 'we'll send the driver details soon' ummmm #there isn't much soon left!!!!!!! it's happening tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they're probably just not Organised™ in the way i prefer to be. which is objectively fine it's just challenging for me personally.#i do not think it's Bad but!!!!! i've never taken a taxi before <- guy who Is Scared Of Taxis Specifically but has to face #their fears because they're disabled and have no other choice.#worst case i am down the money and no-one arrives to take me home i guess :P but it'll be afternoon AND my family are there so #in theory i could just get a lift home even though that would mess up other people's plans sooooo bad. UNLESS they have already drunk uhhhh #in which case i guess i'd just ask for help calling a taxi to the place. plany of people who can do such things easily (unlike me)#it'll be fine!!! i can ask my siblings if need be bc they are so niceys and will not get mad at me for being autistic o7 #My other worry is being too hot and being in a rush getting ready bc i have to eat a proper meal due to the symptoms syndromes #and we are leaving when my lunch usually is so that's a whole thing. which ALSO doesn't matter and I can do! it's just hard!#where is that post that's like 'managed mental illness can look like absence of mental illness 😅'. NOT saying being autistic is mental #illness i am saying that the specific extreme anxiety i have is for me linked to autistic issues with 'the unknown' and boy. does this #social situation also have a lot of unknown.#BUT I CAN DO IT! and dare i say even have a nice time!!!!! it's just i get so so scared beforehand but i will not express it in a way that #impacts or inconveniences anyone else!!! i can handle it by myself at my house and it'll be fine

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shadelorde · 1 month

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okay so I saw someone say celiac disease isn’t a disability because ‘all you have to do is avoid gluten’ and I. I’m about to lose my shit.

are you not fucking aware of how much gluten is present in everyday life? Are you not aware how mild cross-contamination can KILL people with celiac? Are you not aware how some kids are raised EATING GLUTEN, IRREVERSIBLY destroying their immune system and the lining of their stomach because their parents didn’t know or didn’t bother to find out what was wrong?

You can help mitigate the effects of some disabilities by doing certain things, but that doesn’t make them NOT disabilities.

Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder. It is not the same as a mild intolerance. It can and will destroy your stomach and intestines.

Jesus fucking Christ.

#it was a comment under a post where someone was like ‘hey having a gluten intolerance doesn’t make you c-punk’#which. first of all celiac is not just an intolerance. second of all being disabled does not equal cpunk #that is a HUGE extrapolation #and third of all the commenter said they had celiac which I don’t doubt. but celiac involves a range of symptoms and sensitivities to gluten #worrying about cross-contamination for those of us who are really sensitive #is a VERY involved process #and gluten-free things are often so much more expensive #and EXTREMELY inaccessible #speak for your fucking self #celiac disease #disability #I would not mind so much if anyone actually took celiac seriously #but NOBODY in my actual in person life has #I had a girl at school SCREAM at me and call me stuff because I asked if we couldn’t do a pizza party and instead plan something accessible #i cannot attend any type of event based around meals because I need that time to eat what I make #I cannot attend anything where ‘food will be provided’ and if I do I have to plan my meals so I can make my own and bring it #I am often left hungry to the point of lightheadedness and nearly passing out because people plan involved things over a meal assuming we #all can get fast food after #ableism

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insufferablemod · 3 months

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physically restraining myself ffrom drawing more,,,,,,,,,,,,

#i want to so bad #but i need to at least take a break n eat....#my plan of just swtching 2 my left hand doenst work so good.... cus the lefty got rusty Fast #OH SHIT #just realised the last2 posts r legit the first non left hand art ive posted 2 this account Ever i think???#(i reblogged the few non lefty posts from the ask blog but that wasnt Posted here so doesnt count)#damn wtf #thast fucked up #looking at my art tag im already like #how the fuck did i do that?#gonna eat now n if im still in a drawing mood after i might post the drawpile link if anyone wants to join me? :3c #gonna try n swicth 2 my left tho..... cus..... i.. am... responsible.....................#rambles #edit: not gonna do that.. its late ish n i shoudl like.............slee p i guess... i am tired so....#but very much do wanna do a drawpile or something sometime >:3c

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 1 year

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ppl will go “i’d notice if society was going to sacrifice a marginalised group of people and if they said that it’s ok that a bunch of people would die then i would stand against it” and then they’ll hear people saying “well only disabled and vulnerable people will die of covid” and go “yes this is normal and ok and fine”

#first of all it’s not only disabled people who are dying and also covid can disable you real quick and make you part of that group that #people are fine with dying #but also do y’all hear yourself bed sometimes. the amount of people who claim to be allies but with throw others aside as soon as it #interferes with their comfort #also there have been so many studies and reports and articles on how covid disproportionally affects poc. not to mention inequalities in #healthcare that come into play too when you’re dealing with a pandemic #but as soon as y’all have to stop going to parties or restaurants or isolating for two weeks when exposed or confirmed positive or even if #you suspect you have it. or any of the millions of other things that at this point are important facets of community care and protecting #yourself and others from a disease that has been proven and continues to be proven to do a lot of damage to the body #y’all just balk. you don’t drop your claims but that doesn’t mean you’ve dropped your allyship #I’d love to go back to normal. i’d love to go out without a mask and eat in restaurants and do all the things i did before covid #but i won’t. because i know that isn’t safe for me or my friends/family/community and also quite literally isn’t possible now because we’re #still in a pandemic. if you claim to be an ally to disabled people then prove it and mask #I can’t speak as fully on allyship to other communities who are disproportionately impacted but not masking harms everyone and if anyone #does want to speak on allyship to their communit(y/ies) feel free to go ahead #covid tw #fired up about this because i’m doing radioactive iodine treatment in a few weeks and my mother is taking no precautions. not only am i at #risk if i catch covid but if she gets sick i either have to postpone my treatment to care for her (which risks giving my cancer more time to #metastasise if there are cells left) or i have to figure out another plan for treatment since my current plan hinges on her help since i #have to isolate #im just tired and frustrated. a pandemic doesn’t stop just because you get bored #vent tw #this is not as eloquent as i wish it was and the lack of punctuation and tone can make parts confusing but i think y’all get my point

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daisywords · 9 months

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#my life could be so much more healthy and well-balanced if I didn't have roommates #and it's not their fault!!!! they are nice girls!!! we are chill!!! friends even!!!#and yet #I was so optimistic like. hm when I move I will simply stop letting this prevent me from doing what I want #stop letting my weird complexes win #but...that is easier said than done I guess #but I'm so serious right now if I lived alone it would be so much easier for me to eat well and exercise #maintain habits. meal plan. keep things clean #y'all imagine if I could use more than a six inch x six inch square of freezer space #I would have brought my violin here with me but I knew I would never play when anyone else might be in the house #so pretty much never #I would do floor exercises in my room but I'm scared to bc the floor creaks #I would go do it in the basement but I don't want anyone to wonder what I'm doing in the basement #NOT THAT ANYONE CARES #IT'S JUST ME I'M THE WEIRD ONE! I'M THE PROBLEM #look I am mostly normal and enjoy other people's company #I just need no one to perceive or acknowledge me ever when I'm doing my little tasks #yikes yikes yikes #anyway I'm going to be brave and go do dinner now

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astronicht · 10 months

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IM GETTING ON A TRAIN TO THE SEA TOMORROW. Hated the ocean all my life but this year I have eaten those words and now I’m going to eat F I S H.

#I’ve been to Venice a couple times but if anyone has tips I’ll take em #I have no plans but to eat fish I am not joking #also want to look at as many paintings as possible but generally this seems to involve wandering into regular churches like #hey guys nice Veronese you got there

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ohemaa-warrior · 3 months

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#the problem is one day i feel awful the next day i feel manageable #but i have to commit or i will feel worse than yesterday #i cut my mum and brother from the Netflix and yt premium (i hate ads.)#I'm planning to pay less for gas and electricity cause there's no reason i should be putting in £250 a month for both #food im not eating so I'm not paying for it (oh but you need food → my case off it)#like i can't tell you how upset i am and how angry ive become and how incompetent i am at everything #I'm lucky that one of my brain pilots doesn't want to quit this job #but i just need some time to bounce back #can you believe this push came from a fat joke?#to some of may sounds stupid like you ended up taking a mental health break because of a fat joke #but it was the final nail in the coffin #i try to do everything to be nice and to be a good kid and none of that matters because I'm fat #fine #okay yeah sure #and they bitch about me behind my back about how I'm bad with money and how i gain weight and how my depression is an inconvenience #cause it's not because they care #it's never been because they care it's because they know I won't fight back about it #i said i wasn't sad and i was managble but I'm not #but i think anyone else in my situation would be angrier and sadder #my own family makes me feel lonely #the entire family #because people only call me when they need something #and i wanted to act like i do it to people please #i don't #if i don't do it they act like I'm selfish for putting myself first

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p2ii · 1 year

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me fasting during ramadan// : i dont even feel the hunger anymore. i will fistfight god and i will win

literally any other time: sickly victorian child. bedridden. probably crying

#i cant do makeup fasts even directly before/after ramadan//. or the ones dispurced throughout the year i am too week 😭#at least its eid// tommorow. i get a day off school :)#psii.txt #fasting mention #ex muslim tag #ex muslim #do yall have this problem? personally any amount of fasting fucks my entire eating schedule for months after. it sevearly fucks me up #also if anyone has interesting plans for eid id lve to hear about it 👀. get some positivity in this mother fucker

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thesisrainworldblog · 6 months

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happy birthday to trans people (me im trans people, and so is my silly little favorite child <3).

#mftp #happy tdov #iterator oc #rain world oc #thesis doodling #ignore his outfit + wings here #i am using an au design instead of cannon bc i was planning to put it in the server for that au #but i feel kinda awkward about it #since no one has mentioned it yet so idk if anyones doing anything tdov #love tumblr eating my high quality images :(

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flecks-of-stardust · 2 years

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slightly different route:

the legendary one cycle sprint to ascension! route suggested by @sevenrs which i decided to try. the route is honestly pretty similar to what i was doing before, with a few minor tweaks that ended up making it faster than my original route.

as you can see from the score screen though, it's not actually 'one' cycle; i starved twice to bring my karma up so i could go to pebbles. but the game doesn't know any better :) tbh this was pretty fun, particularly because i'm more familiar with the route now. if you're okay with navigating drainage system and filtration system in the dark, you can give it a whirl!

#sky i am so sorry for the three tags now but i cannot in good conscience not tell you about this #or credit your (and your friend's) route planning #speeeeed #yes game i totally have only 1 minute and 56 seconds of playtime ✨#rain world #for anyone legitimately interested in trying this out:#skip the tutorial by not entering any of the tutorial food rooms #and get food elsewhere. exactly 5 is enough so don't bother hunting bats for too long #save in the outskirts shelter near the industrial complex gate #upon cycle 1's start: starve #do NOT touch the karma flower before you starve. i had to restart because i realized i fucked up #once you enter your starve cycle eat the karma flower in the room below the den #then die. quitting out might be faster but i need to check if it works; it should but just to be safe yknow #repeat with industrial complex flower and den #once you hit karma 4 reroll your rain timer until it's long enough to run all the way to pebbles in one cycle #yes it's doable. it's fun and scary and you will feel so cool #and then die or quit out once he gives you karma 10 #so you'll be back in the outskirts den after that. just book it to filtration system through drainage system #you will have to deal with dark rooms but it's like. fuckinnnnnnn uhhh four or five rooms that are pitch black #and then you're in depths! and nothing matters anymore :) except fall damage i guess #don't die in depths to fall damage #i'm excited to see if anyone can beat my time. most of my speed comes from running away from enemies and chaining roll pounces #nothing fancy movement wise. so anyone better at movement than i am could probably beat that time easily

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soullessjack · 1 year

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nobody talk to me i just got hit with a wave of incredibly potent jackgirl bitterness

#WE CANT HAVE FUCKING SHIT IN THIS HOUSE #HES NOT A CENTERED CHARACTER THAT THE WRITERS CARE ABOUT #THE FANDOM DOESNT FUCKING CARE ABOUT HIM UNLESS HES A FUCKING BABY DESTIEL SIDEPIECE #THE FANDOM IS FUCKING ABLEIST ALL THE TIME ABOUT HIM BEING A BABY TOO #GOD.#I AM IN HELL.#cal.txt #spn #jack kline #jackgirl #spn fandom #THE ENTIRE SUBSET OF JACKGIRLS DOESNT EVEN EXIST TO ANYONE ELSE BC . SEE OTHER TAGS. NOBODY FUCKING CARES!!!!!!!#WORLD IS A FUCK #WORLD IS A BIG FUCKING FUCK #sigh.#okay I’m gonna finish drawing simon and maybe eat something and then sleep or whatever I don’t know #I don’t plan shit out

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arcanespillo · 1 year

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i am so sad :p i feel like the world is crumbling under my feet and god is just pointing at me and laughing ꒰(･‿･)꒱ <3

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thatlittledandere · 1 year

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Everything I learn about economics makes my life worse I just worked myself up so much my legs are heavier than after 6th grade Cooper test and my head is spinning simply out of pure outrage. All of it influences our life SO much and none of it is even REAL. We all just agree that money is real and makes some lives better and some worse even though it doesn't even exist anywhere. God I'm so mad

#venlapost #i articulated it soooooo well in my head i just gave a nobel-winning ted talk on money #and i an. exhausted. to say the least #I'm hungry also that shit took two hours and i haven't made dinner yet #but i just sat down and mannnnnn i can't stand up. to go to the kitchen #or i can but. man. i am SO tired #do not Google how a billionaire it a company's net worth is decided unless you want to get so angry you could just blow this whole place up #I'm not going to hold this opinion I'm about to state in the next tag anymore after i get something to eat but #maybe god was onto something with the flood #vent post #if someone has that like. blacklisted or something #?#i reiterate once more i am SO fucking mad #can't even scream at this point I'm past it I'm at the silent seething part #I'm past planning assassination I'm at the stage after it that realizes its futility and accepts it more begrudgingly than anyone has ever #my hands are shaking. as well #I'll try to get that fucking lasagna done #and seethe

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bejeweledmp3 · 1 year

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welp

#suicide mention tw #the other day i had therapy right. and my therapist was like i was looking at the results of the tests you responded before we began #and i think it's necessary for us to talk about your relationship with death #and right now it's like. scariest thing to me in the world. also only thing i can ever think of #my brain keeps going i'm going to die!!! i'm going to die!!!! over and over and ot makes everything feel not real #which is scary and trippy and i hate living like this. as if i was dead already #and at the end she asked me to tell her in a scale of one to ten how likely she thought a suicide was #and i said 5.5. i've never planned anything i don't want to die. but if i die then i don't think about death anymore you know?#and i keep thinking about it and keep waiting for it to feel dishonest like. no way i'm a five in the would you kill yourself scale #but it doesn't. it feels like the truth i'm not going to do it but also i don't know what to do anymore #and i'm terrified of speaking to anyone in my life about this bc i don't want to scare them i don't want to be on suicide watch #so i'm just sitting here and my brain is eating me alive. all i can think about is how things end #i resent my body for needing to exist i also don't feel connected to it at all. and i'm exhausted man i really am #just. sigh. i'm sorry for writing this but idk what else to.do at this point #talking tag;

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