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bonefries · 3 years

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I rate Sigma Overwatch’s sprays from 0-10

alright lets go, just going in the order that these files come in this folder

1000/10: Because I get to see him sitting and even though he’s thinking hard about something he’s throwing a bouncy ball to help him focus. Also his hair is particularly white here and I think thats very sexy old man of him.

50/10: Catbox, Catboy, its all the same theory. Sigma likes catboys, not up for debate. We know why.

3/10: Just not fond of it. I know the sprays and their rendering gets super obscured but this one just got absolutely decimated I guess. Just being real with yall.

10/10: Like the shading colors, he’s smirking. Rock vaguely looks like a heart. Love that for him.

6/10: I just don’t like how the hat was drawn. I don’t think it needed to be there or could’ve been shaped better. Other than that decent spray. Wish he was happier looking though.

9/10: I have this spray as a sticker and its just very cute fsr. Its simple and the color is exquisite and nice on the eyes.

100000000000/10: There is something mysteriously and eerily sexy about this spray and it’s one of my favorites.

2/10: Just because he is my husband doesn’t mean I’m not going to be an honest man. I Highly Dislike this spray because I think the art style is unappealing af. It’s just a personal preference, I hate all of the sprays that come in this style. i didnt realize how long this post was going to be so im doing the rest under the cut to spare everyone else’s life:

9/10: Solid rating with no goofing. While I take up some issues with some of the expressions in his other sprays showing pain, there is something about the composition of this one that I absolutely love. Its very aesthetic for me, speaks to his character, and the colors are beautiful. Wish his eyes were his usual periwinkle though which is why this isn’t receiving a perfect score.

5/10: Not really sure what it is about this one that I’m not so fond of. I can appreciate the colors and his profile. But other than that theres something visually here that I don’t find appealing. Not sure what it is.

8/10: Decent rating, its nothing crazy. Since reference and has nice colors but thats about all my critique for this one.

11/10: Lovely hand, lovely gesture. Wanna squish the bean pads. Nice colors.

6/10: This one is actually one of my favorites despite the rating not being solid. Only because while I love the colors and the concept, the idea of it makes me sad. The idea that it reflects Sieb’s trauma makes me sad, despite it being a rational depiction of such.

50000000/10: love little christmas charm sieb, hope he gets a skin of this outfit some day. Hes so cute. Happy smiles thats all I want. I could kiss him.

3/10: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF I’M NOT ACTUALLY SUPER ABOUT THIS SPRAY. WHY? Because I’m being nitpicky and I want him receptors on the sides to be THE TEAL THAT THEY ARE. Not GREEN.

5/10: I feel like halfway rating with this one is fair. I like to imagine that thats Sieb’s hand writing and that makes me happy. But this spray is hard to look at for long periods of time because this kind of text squish is hurtful on my eyes.

9/10: I actually hate this skin but fsr the spray makes it incredibly sexy. It actually got sexier the second time (this time) that I looked at it. Good for him.

6/10: Reasons for this rating, while I love the pose and intimidation this spray is posing, I also get sad to see Sieb’s strained expressions. I think his powers do have limits and they do effect him depending. And seeing all this big ass heavy equipment on him gives me conflicted feelings. He has a lot to carry, and he’s just lucky he has gravity powers to help. (I mean this metaphorically and literally.)

7/10: I love the art and concept on this one. He’s just so grumpy looking is all. My poor boy.

9/10: He’s 7 ft tall and it shows and I am here for it.

9/10: Remember when I said I was conflicted about seeing all that equiptment on him? Well its true, but I’m just going full thirst on this spray to say look at how fucking massive this man is. I want him to grab me with those hands and pitch me like a baseball.

4/10: The pained expression in this along with the concept of it (as well as connection once again to his trauma) unsettles me and makes me feel the brain hurting juice. Nothing further.

1000000000000000000/10: This is one of my favorite sprays because its just casual work setting and gives me more insight on his lab uniform. His hair here also gets me barking like a rabid chihuahua.

10/10: This gets a solid rating for A) Lab Coat Outfit and B) Seeing him again with the help of an object to stim while he thinks. (The squeeze ball)

10/10: I cant not give halloween Sieb a solid score. I think this is adorable, but I don’t believe it’s Sieb as a kid. I think it’s just a child dressed up like him with no attachment to lore or anything. But its still very cute.

100/10: I love the pixel sprays so much, simple and cute.

6/10: I’m really not too crazy about the pose for the dragon spray. I feel like they could’ve done something a little more dynamic especially given he has gravity powers. But alas.

9/10: This spray is on the same level as the apple head spray from earlier on in the post. Congrats if you’ve made it this far btw. But I love the soft expression on the left being challenged with the frightened/frustrated one on the right.

0/10: I am not fond of this spray because of how much pain he appears to be in along with the implications all the junk flying around him has. Upsets me.

50/10: I don’t care about the fish onions I just care about looking at my husbands huge ass arms and seeing him enjoy a smelly fish treat. Its what he deserves. Also what that mouth do.

10/10: Solid perfect score because I have strong emotions about Van Gogh. And I think the interest between Siebren and Van Gogh, especially as two men who were/are fighting with mental illness speaks volumes about Sieb’s character. This spray makes me feel something in my chest that I can’t whole heartedly explain, but it isn’t a bad thing.

10/10: Another perfect score, because I think this spray is a good mixture of Sieb’s character between the musical elements and his scientific work. He’s also smiling which is rare to find in his sprays.

544386238043723507435742634387236804307403857435748035474803548744307384385740385748037408357438570480bark bark barK BARK /10: sexiest image in the entire game of overwatch nobody @ me i dont take constructive criticism

#this is a half serious half shit post post #siebren de kuiper #sigma overwatch #sigma #ita speaks #i have spoken

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botwstoriesandsuch · 4 years

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im loving the history lesson posts!!! what are you're thoughts on the ruins in Tabantha? based on the memory near the skywatchers and the shrine quests in the region, the stone ruins in tabantha existed about 10,000 years ago and were destroyed or vacated and left to crumble. but the stone structures contrast heavily with the wooden architecture of Rito Village? bUT if i'm remembering correctly the song lyrics go "pride of the rito/pillar to the sky" so the rito stone and tabantha itself has (1)

Ok first off, I AM SO SORRY! I read this ask months ago and I worked on it in my google docs and then I was going pure theory mode and then another person sent in another ask about ruins and I was getting all excited so basically long story short I got so caught up in making a masterlist of all the ruins that I completely forgot about this ask until now... So anon I apologize for the terrible wait but hopefully you’ll still enjoy what I have in planned.

You’ve given me a lot to work with so I’m going to break this up into several posts based on your asks. I’m gonna post them on different days becauseeeee content management, schedules, things.....I’m lazy and also if I posted all my thoughts in one post it would be like a giant book with zero pacing so

[Today] Thoughts on the Ancient Columns and the Ruins of Tabantha

[Some time later idk when I post it I’ll shove the link here] The Effects of the Calamity on the Rito and People of Hyrule

The Relationship between Skywatcher Locations and the Cunning of Calamity Ganon

Buckled in ladies, lads, and gentlefolk? It’s time for a history lesson, Part 1 o’ Trois. So today here is

Ancient Ruins, Architectural Parallels, and the Probable Worship of the Fae

So! Let’s start with the ruins of Tabantha. Specifically, the Ancient Columns.

Anon you’re correct in that these ruins are over 10,000 years old. We can not only gather this from the fact that their condition is the same even 100 years ago, meaning they have to be older than a century (see their crumbled state and similar moss patterns) but also from direct lines from the Creating a Champion (CaC) book itself.

However, I’m inclined to believe (for several reasons that I’m going to get into) that these ruins have nothing to do with the “pillar in the sky” as mentioned in the Rito songs. For one, the pillar of Rito village is of an entirely different architectural style, given that it looks like the natural work of wind erosion. And for another, the existence of the Rito village pillar has to have been much younger, around 100 years old, in order to coincide with the Sheikah Shrine quest, as the Sheikah platform thingy has to correlate with the characteristics of the pillar’s shape. Ergo, ergo, ergo, the “pillar in the sky” isn’t 10,000 years old and has no correlation with the Ancient Columns.

Ok so! Back to the actual ruins themselves and what we can analyze from them.

Circled above is every instance of ruins in the Tabantha region. Although I should specify that I’m talking about the Ancient Hylian ruins, as that is the type that is most notably scattered across this area.

We know that all these ruins are off the same civilization because of their style and material.

[Remember this picture for later^^]

In addition, we can also tell from ruin maps in the CaC book that these ruins are from the same Hylian civilization, as well as the important detail that these ruins were centered around the Goddess.

Citing that other screenshot at the beginning on the Ancient Hylian Culture, these ruins were built around the same time as the Sacred Springs, so I think it’s safe to assume that these ruins had a religious purpose.

But I can take this one step further! Up until now, all this information has been based on interpretations from the botw ruins and official info alone, but if we take into account the real life counterparts/parallels, I can prove the exact purpose to what these ruins are for!

Firstly, these ruins are obviously inspired by architecture in Ancient Greece, and other old Empires (like the Romans and Byzantines) across the Mediterranean.

We also know that the ruins are constructed out of limestone. One, because moss is able to grow on it, so it is unlikely that it is marble. And two, we can see the actual limestone texture when seeing the broken parts of certain columns and walls.

[and kinda quick side note here: but the existence of large limestone rich structures 10,000 years ago gives more credit to the theory that Botw takes place after a large flood, notably the events of Wind Waker. One, because limestone is a material mined near the sea, as seen with the Island of Paros and Naxos for the Ancient Greeks. And Two, this ancient sea was directly mentioned in the description for botw rock salt. And also Three, this explains the weird placement of certain structures, such as the buildings placed on suspended and isolated rocky plateaus like the ones I showed earlier by the Skywatchers. So there’s your mini theory which kinda proves that the Tanagar Canyon was probably an ocean trench at one point and it also still proves my connection of the Ancient Hylian ruins being parallels to the Ancient Greeks and all that because...ocean. Greece, peninsula, hundreds of islands, lots of quarries in Hyrule by the sea. Akkala is by the sea, there’s quarries, also the islands with mining equipment like Tingle Island. You get it by now right?]

Anyway. Greeks, Romans, polytheistic gods, temples for sacrifices, limestone, yadayadayada. Safe to assume that these Hylian ruins were of a civilization centered around a temple of some sort worshiping a powerful being, or beings, such Hylia. Hurray! Theory seems done.

BUT!

I can take it

A step FURTHER!!!

You see, I was originally gonna leave this post at that. The Ancient Columns are of an Ancient Hylian civilization 10,000 years ago that worshiped some higher powers. “Great!” I think to myself. “Time to get all my screenshots so that my ADHD followers wont die immediately”

But but but! As I was spending an hour or so getting said screenshots, I took this picture right here and came across a revelation so bright you could have placed a light bulb over my head...

A pretty enough capture, got a nice aerial view of the ruins, the suspended island thing in the middle of the path... nice view of Tanagar Canyon and the Ancient Columns, the sunset is all pretty and—Oh hey! The Great Fairy Fountain is there. Heh, that’s nice. You know it’s kinda weird that it’s just plopped right in the middle of all these Ancient ruin and temp—

BAadaBing, badaBoom, ladies, lads, and gentlefolk! I’m here to tell ya that these giant fae ladies were once worshiped by 10,000 year old Hylian civilizations. And not just this fairy mind you, but all four of them.

First piece of evidence? The proximity of 10,000 year old structures to every Great Fairy. Mind you, these are the most rare type of ruin in the game. 90% of the ruins are of settlements destroyed 100 years ago by the Calamity, and then the other 10% is still divide up between the Ancient Sheikah and Zonai. So I find it quite interesting that almost every case these special ruined civilizations are near a Great Fairy. [Uh, spoilers for all the Great Fairy locations btw]

First, of course, you got the Great Fairy in Tabantha.

Then you got the one in Akkala, by the Torrin Wetlands (again, the highlights in yellow are of the canonical 10,000 year old Hylian ruins)

The Lanayru Promenade isn’t even up for debate at this point....I mean it was the parade ground for the ceremony up to the Spring of Wisdom. How much more “Ancient Hylian” can you get then that?

The only kinda iffy one is the Great Fairy in the Gerudo desert, but even THEN this fairy is by two out of the three only instances of 10,000 year old ruins in the entire desert, the third instance being the Zonai labyrinth.

But, sure. Correlation might not equal causation. But I think the picture becomes all the more clear when you take a look at the timeline of events!

Note that no one in Hyrule really knows what the fairies are all about. Sure, you got that one researched in Tabantha that knew about one of them, and some of the elders in Kakariko had a sort of understanding that a fairy was their neighbor. However, their stance was that of wariness and caution, and they very much did not worship or give offerings to them. Dorian, for example explicitly shows suspicion towards the fairy, and thinks they might be dangerous. (Which, to be fair, is valid if you’ve ever read ANYTHING about the fae)

My point is, people don’t know what the Great Fairies are, or what their powers, motives, or *anything* really are. Sure, 100 years might have passed, but it would be pretty hard to forget something as eye catching as the fae. The people of Hyrule can remember century old white horses, cook books, treasure locations, ancient songs, and vague legends, but the majority of them don’t know about the Giant (seriously, it’s right in the name) Fairy Fountains?!

That is, of course, under the assumption that the Great Fairies existence was known 100 years ago. But what if it wasn’t?

You might be inclined to assume that the fairies lost their power because the Calamity prevented them from getting offerings 100 years ago, but in truth, there is no evidence whatsoever saying that their lack of power originated at the rise of Calamity.

It’s entirely likely that they haven’t been sitting around for 100 years, but 10,000, or even more. It explains why no one knows anything about them, and also their proximity to the ruins.

A beautiful spring you say? You power is directly correlated to offerings you say?

Gee if only there was some ancient civilization that existed a long time ago, that has ties to old religious practices, temples, and polytheistic, which has parallels to the Ancient Greeks and Romans who build their civilizations centering around certain gods and offerings to said powers, and also if only these said civilizations were nearby to all of the fae oh WAIT!

Even when Link gives his offerings, the results are only that of the Great Fairy Fountain blooming, not an entire spring. Could an entire spring existed long ago, providing for the hundreds or thousands of people who worshiped the fae? Who’s to say that these old 10,000 year old civilizations gave offerings to the fae not only for the magic and all that, but for the vitality and life that they provide? Who’s to say that those earlier relief arts of warriors on chariots were of people with enhanced armour. Fairies that give you magic defense would be quit helpful for a civilization that liked to battle... the possibilities are endless....

TL;DR, the Ancient Columns, along with the other 10,000 year old Hylian structures, were constructed for religious purposes, centering around the Great Fairies, who accepted their offerings in exchange for the vitality of their springs, as well as their enchantments.

So! That’s that. Can you believe this is just me tackling only one aspect of anon’s ask? I realize that the majority of the ask was about the Rito but...oops! That’s why I split it into parts. [When I post the other posts I’ll update the contents at the top to link to them]

A like and reblog is appreciated! I spent too long on this, including an extra week because tumblr deleted my original draft which was much longer... so if you liked it, let me know! It’d be nice to know that my time didn’t completely go to waste, :P Anyhow thanks for reading all this

#the only thing stopping me from outright making a theory channel is my lack of youtube skills #zeltik how do you dO IT #botw #breath of the wild #legend of zelda botw #loz botw #botw theory #botw ruins

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filipinoizukuu · 3 years

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It's cause the combination of dekus baby face and funny clothing make him look like a 3rd grade kid ready to go on a school field trip 😭

no ok wait this is so funny bc it reminds me of like. this thing i once did.

OK TO PREFACE EVERYTHING. i know how to do fashion. i SWEAR i do. i have like. good hot clothes that will guarantee me the no. 1 spot as the hottest person in the supermarket

BUT

i do like dressing. horribly. just on occassion. only sometimes. because i think its both cute and hilarious

and there was this time where i was wearing. this goddawful get up of like. weird swishy purple skirt and a long sleeved purple tee that had fucking club penguin emblazoned on its front. i wore purple vans and had this ugly jacket on that was also bright purple and fuzzy in the bad way and went to the mall with my long suffering family

and like. you see, we decided to eat at this diner place. a very nice diner place with really good food that was probably FULL of cholesterol and was kinda expensive and had like weirdly sticky floors and patrons that were watching like football or something idk

the waitress comes by and starts pickin up our orders and we go down the line w burgers and calamari and whatever. you get the point. and as the lady is leaving, I'm like 'aw fuck ma im craving something sweet can we please have a brownie?' except not in so many words because no one curses at their asian moms and also no one speaks like that in real life--so i essentially just tug my moms sleeve like a dying victorian child and point at the brownie on their greasy menus.

my mom goes oh ok and asks the waitress to add a brownie to the bill and to not serve it til later because i have as good of an impulse control as a horny rabbit. the waitress hums, looks up, sees me doodling on the paper placemats in my full on fucking hideous club penguin purple regalia and pauses.

"... if youre interested, we have a kids discount."

and like okay. by the eyes of the law and also my very energetic grandma, i am what you could describe as a child.

but see. the discount they were offering. right. funny thing was that it. was for kids below 9 years old.

im sitting there, 15 and literally in highschool, working on research essays and joining the debate team, contemplating the fact that i was offered a discount because of my fucking club penguin tee. i say nothing, my brother holds me back, and my mom nods and says sure!! we'd love that!! so the waitress lady smiles and does nothing to verify my actual age because i just really actually do have a baby face and also im real fucking short.

she finishes taking our orders and the waitress does her whole spiel. but then, in a spur of hunger-powered brilliance, my family decides to really REALLY nail it in. from her huge handbag reserved for tired soccer moms, my mother hands me her phone and tells me with the straightest fucking expression:

"since we're going to wait a bit for our food, why dont you go play candy crush for a bit, codi?"

and with those very words my soul ascends and i take the phone and then swear an oath on every higher power that exists to never fucking enter that diner ever again--the end.

moral of the story: if you arent equipped enough to dress well and use pretty privilege, then dressing like a fucking toddler and holding your moms shock proof otter case android will get you discounts too

#asks #anon #no one asked but i needed to share anyway #long post

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onceattwice · 4 years

Text

TWICE Reaction: Wisdom Teeth

PAIRING: TWICE x Reader

REQUEST: can i request twice’s s/o getting their wisdom tooth out and being all cute and crazy not knowing what she is doing.

TAGS: Fluff

NOTES: This was really fun to write on! To whomever requested this one: thank you and sorry this took so long to get out!

WORD COUNT: 5,403

IM NAYEON

Nayeon sat in the waiting room, idly flipping through a couple of magazines. Every so often, she would check her watch, internally counting down the minutes before she could see you again. You should be finished at five o’clock. Of course, she’d come thirty minutes early just in case, since she was your ride home.

She stifled a laugh as soon as she saw that Dr. Choi had rolled you out of the surgery room. You looked like you were blackout drunk. “Y/N is still a little hazy from the laughing gas but they should be good to go in a couple of minutes. We suggest you keep them here until the laughing gas leaves their system completely.” She nodded quickly, affirming that you would indeed be staying here.

“I brought some energy drinks for her but I’d rather not have her spill it all over my car,” Nayeon joked lightly with the surgeon. He chuckled in agreement but quickly excused himself, claiming that he had another appointment to attend to. She politely waved him goodbye. As soon as she had heard the light click of the closed door, she turned around so she could take a proper look at you.

You had your eyes closed, and although it looked like you were sleeping, she wasn’t entirely sure that was the case. Logically, she knew that you were fine and that the doctors here at ‘Kim & Turne’ were Korea’s top-notch oral surgeons. However, that didn’t prevent the small pinch of panic from flowing through her system. She stomped down the impulse to call Dr. Choi back into the room, and instead opted for sitting down in the small metal fold-able chair beside you.

As soon as she had sat down, you suddenly sprung up like a maniac. Nayeon screamed out in surprise, her arms flailing beside her. “Y/N! What is wrong with you?!”

“Woogly boogly my booty,” you answered with a stern and serious expression. Nayeon sat in complete shock and disbelief. Suddenly, she exploded in laughter.

“What in the world are you talking about?” Instinctively, she reached for her camera. From the many years of living with Jeongyeon and Momo, she’s learned to just go with the flow and capture whatever you were saying so that she could use it as blackmail later down the road. Nayeon was a little sad that she wasn’t able to capture your first line, but at least now she’d be able to record the rest of it.

“You’re really pretty, are you dating anybody?” Your words were slurred together, almost as if you were a foreigner to the language. Swaying side to side, she noticed that you were starting to interest in your arms.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Are you dating my arms? My arms look pretty gnarly, I should’ve known it was a bad idea to make them my wingmen.”

She cackled at your response. Although she very much did enjoy your arms—as being wrapped around them was one of her favourite nighttime activities—she would not go as far as to say that she was dating your arms.

“Nope, not your arms. I found something much better.” She zoomed in to your gaping mouth. Your eyes were a little unfocused, but she found hints of disappointment and disbelief within them.

“How cold of you, you’re hurting their feelings! So cold, to break up with them right in front of me. So cold.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, mumbling nonsense in an attempt to comfort them.

“I think you’d be glad to know that you’re actually dating me,” she chuckled in amusement. You were being so ridiculous at the moment, but she also found your actions to be quite endearing.

“Oh great, I’m a homewrecker!” You broke free from your arms, extending them as far out in front of you as possible. Nayeon expertly dodged them. Again, years of training from avoiding Sana’s grabby hands. However, Nayeon didn’t have much experience when it came to you crying. Thus, she was absolutely bewildered when you looked up and you had tears streaming down your face.

“My arms have always been there for me. I can’t believe I just betrayed them like that! What kind of human am I?” Wailing in despair, you slumped back down onto the medical bed. Nayeon just stood there, not knowing what to do. Honestly, she found the entire conversation to be quite entertaining, but now that you were crying, she had no idea what to make of the situation.

“There, there,” she awkwardly patted your back, in the hopes that you would stop crying. At this point, she still had her camera pointed towards you, expecting you to surprise her with another one of your mood swings. But instead, you just lied there with your eyes closed.

Shaking her head in disbelief, but with a hint of fondness, she tilted the camera towards herself and said to the lenses, “You are never going on laughing gas again.”

YOO JEONGYEON

Jeongyeon was fully aware of the effects of nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas. That’s why she’s currently seated in the waiting room with a professional Canon EOS RP camera. She tried to convince Jihyo to be her “light person”, but unfortunately she declined, claiming that she was not going to get wrapped up in her shenanigans again.

Your relationship with Jeongyeon was quite a silly one. Neither of you were scared to make a fool of yourselves. Therefore, this lead to the creation of an album titled “HAHA”. It was filled to the brim with silly video clips of both of you. Admittedly, it wasn’t a very original name. However, in one of the earliest clips, Jeongyeon produced her signature ‘haha’ laugh. Except she then proceeded to choke on her rice cake.

She was cleaning her lens when the doctor informed her that you would be stationed at one of the private waiting rooms. They claimed you were being a little too energetic and proposed that she stayed there with you until the gas left your system entirely. She readily agreed and happily made her way to the room.

Jeongyeon had seen her fair share of laughing gas videos online, most of which consisted of hysterical laughing, inappropriate questions, and overall confusion. However, she was not expecting to see you flopping around on the medical bed in complete tears. She faintly debated filming you just because you looked like a fish on land, but ultimately decided that’d be a little mean.

Your eyes were bloodshot and you had small drops of snot leaking out of your nose. She immediately ran over to you, leaving her equipment by the door. “What’s wrong?”

“My legs are gone! They cut them off!” You were hiccuping and furiously wiping away at your traitorous tears.

“No, they’re not.” Jeongyeon deadpanned.

“Well then explain why I can’t walk!” You wailed as you sniffled angrily. Truthfully, Jeongyeon thought you looked like a small baby. In a way, it was kind of cute how upset you were. She sighed and tilted her head at you.

“Yes, you can. You just haven’t tried yet.” This seemed to provoke you even further.

“Yes, I have! Look.” You proceeded to throw yourself on the ground. She gasped in shock, scared that you might have hurt yourself. Before she could even process the situation, you began to flop around. Jeongyeon bent down and placed her hands on your arms in an attempt to try and calm you down.

“For the love of all that is holy, please stop moving.” She laughed as she tried to control your relentless squirming. Too busy enjoying the scene, she completely forgot about her camera. You were pouting, desperately trying to escape her hold.

Soon after, the sound of the door opening resonated throughout the room. Jeongyeon looked up to see a young lady enter the room. She was wearing scrubs and introduced herself. After hearing a lot of commotion from outside, she just wanted to come and check-in with you guys.

Before your girlfriend could reply, you looked up at the nurse, eyes crazed, and shouted, “Look! I’m as useless as Magikarp now. I’m a Magikarp! Mag-i-karp!”

There was a small pause. Suddenly, Jeongyeon and the nurse both burst out laughing. Both of them were so caught off guard by your sudden exclamation. Tears began to spring up in Jeongyeon’s eyes as she doubled over in laughter. Gosh, you were just too darn adorable. Right this moment, she decided that she was going to keep you forever.

The nurse propped her arms on a nearby counter in an attempt to stabilize herself before she collapsed in laughter. “Please tell me you got that on camera.”

“Oh shoot!”

HIRAI MOMO

Momo was already seated in the private patient waiting room. The doctors informed her that you would be wheeled into the room after the surgery and that she could either take you straight home or wait for the laughing gas to wear off. She decided that she would be taking you home straight away as you would likely be more comfortable there.

You got wheeled into the room looking absolutely dazed. Momo thought it was quite funny that you were sat in a wheelchair. She quickly thanked the assistant, grabbed the chair handles, and prepared to push you out of that center. However, before she could move, a plethora of incoherent mumbling flowed out of your mouth.

“Hm?” She bent down in an attempt to try and hear you better. Leaning over your shoulder, her eyes trained on your mouth as she tried to piece together what you were mumbling.

“I said I want kisses.” You turned your head up slightly, pouting as you tried to catch Momo’s lips in yours.

Momo’s face immediately flushed as she swiftly backed away. She stood up, back straight as a board, and pointedly avoided the assistant’s stare. A boisterous laugh echoed through the room.

“I’ll leave you guys alone.” The click of a closed-door helped to indicate to Momo that the assistant had left the room.

“I-I’m not too sure that’s a good idea. You just finished your surgery after all.”

A sharp whine escaped your throat and you begin to thrash around in your chair. Momo’s eyes widened in surprise as she tried to stabilize the chair. But to her dismay, her hands fumbled and the wheelchair completely tipped over with you in it. Various pitched squeaks escaped her throat as she desperately ran over to check your body for injuries.

There you lied, completely motionless but still laughing like a maniac. Crouching down, she lightly scolded you for acting so carelessly. However, you just opened your arms up wide and tried to pull her into a hug. Momo was so caught off guard that before she knew it, she was lying on the ground with your arms wrapped around her torso. Her cheeks were stained red with embarrassment as you rocked her back and forth.

“I caught my prize,” you whispered into her ear, causing Momo to become flustered for a different reason.

“Oh yeah?” She patted your head, deciding to play along with you for now. However, she was only met with silence. Confused, she pulled away slightly so that she could look into your eyes. She doesn’t quite know what she was expecting but she definitely wasn’t expecting to see you looking back at her with the softest gaze ever. Speckles of love splashed across your irises, making Momo’s heart flutter uncharacteristically.

“Yeah.” You smiled dopily at her.

“And what’s the prize?” She whispered seductively into your ear, relaxing a little in your arms. If you were going to be so cute and cuddly, then she was going to enjoy it while it lasted. ‘Thank god we’re still in the post-surgery private room,’ Momo briefly thought.

“A big fried rice cake,” You replied, squeezing her even tighter in your grasp.

“Big?” Momo squeaked indignantly. That was not what she thought you were going to say.

“Indeedly so!”

“You’re sooo sleeping on the couch tonight!”

MINATOZAKI SANA

Sana drove over to the building at which you were currently undergoing surgery for your wisdom teeth. In theory, she would arrive right when you finished. She was your ride home since you wouldn’t be able to drive home yourself.

When she arrived at the clinic, they immediately directed her into a small white room after she checked in with the receptionist. After closing the heavy wooden door behind her, she quickly scanned the room for you whilst also taking note of the slick interior design.

There you were, situated on one of their hospital beds with a nurse gently holding your arm. She was mumbling something that Sana couldn’t quite make out, but it seemed to relax you. She huffed, a little annoyed because the nurse was a little too close for her liking. Clearing her throat with a sharp ‘ahem’, Sana stood by the front of the door, staring at the woman expectantly. The nurse quickly acknowledged Sana’s presence and politely stepped away from you.

After she explained that the gas would leave your system soon, she left the room in a hurry. Grateful for the privacy that the room allowed the two of you to have, she quickly stomped on over to you and started to inspect your face. There was slight bruising in your cheeks but nothing to be concerned about.

However, what was concerning was the fact that you had tears streaming down your cheeks. You looked up at her with a small pout and glistening eyes. She furrowed her brows in confusion and instantly situated herself in the remaining space on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“My dog is dead,” you mumbled dejectedly, voice filled to the brim with pain and sorrow. Sana, however, could only chuckle in amusement. She had no clue what you were going on about.

“Honey, you don’t have a dog.” She rubbed your back comfortingly, hoping to calm you down a little. Your only response was a cry of despair.

“Well, I don’t anymore! It’s dead!” You buried your face into her neck, weeping miserably. You clung onto her white shirt, soaking her shoulder with your heartfelt tears.

Sana thought you were being extremely adorable. She softened a little at how much you cared about your supposed ‘dead dog’. Honestly, it was a true reflection of how much of a loving and emotional person you were. She wrapped her arms around your torso and lightly rocked you back and forth. She never really knew how to comfort you with words when you were crying, but she was a master at physical contact.

Your sniffles resonated throughout the room, but you were finally starting to calm down a little. Sana’s hand cupped your cheek, bringing it away from her neck. You let out a small whine in protest but she just rolled her eyes. Giving you a quick peck on your forehead, she wiped away the remainders of your tears.

If Sana were, to be honest though, this whole situation was more than a little amusing to her. You didn’t even like dogs, you much preferred cats. She genuinely had no idea where you got your ‘dog’ from. She booped your nose lightly and giggled playfully when your eyes suddenly went hazy and unfocused.

Maybe she could have a little fun with this. Deciding to indulge your laughing gas antics, she softly asked, “What was your dog’s name?”

Once again, a couple of tears welled up in your eyes. When you jutted out your bottom lip, Sana, in turn, cooed at how adorably soft you looked. She reckoned she looked much of the same whenever she was around you though. Her love for you goes beyond plain-

“Her name was Sana.”

You got pushed off of the bed.

PARK JIHYO

She double-checked her bag before getting a manager to drive her over to the clinic. Jihyo didn’t trust herself to drive the car as she knew she would likely be spending the entire ride taking care of you. Thus, she got a manager to come with so that they could drive on the way home.

When she arrived, she immediately got led to the room that you were staying in. After your two-hour wisdom teeth surgery, they had placed you in a private post-surgery room with an assistant to watch over you until your girlfriend arrived. When she entered the room, the assistant left. On his way out, he reminded Jihyo to sign some papers at the front desk before leaving. Jihyo agreed readily to his request.

As soon as he was gone, she ran over to your side. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a hamburger on crack,” you replied groggily. Jihyo raised an eyebrow in confusion. Had the laughing gas not left your system yet?

“Do you think you can stand?” She placed a hand on your elbow, gently tugging it. This prompted you to slowly stand up.

“Do you think my legs ever get sad?” You whispered dejectedly as you directed a small pout towards Jihyo. She led you away from the bed, carefully thinking of a response in the meantime.

“No, I don’t think they do sweetie.”

“They carry me everywhere but I’ve never carried them!” You reasoned with Jihyo, panic flooding into your eyes at the thought. Bewildered, Jihyo looked back at you. She opened her mouth to tell you to stop being so ridiculous, but to her surprise, tears were falling from your eyes. Your bottom lip trembled as you anxiously played with your fingers.

“I’m a terrible human.”

“I don’t think it’s physically possible to...carry your legs.” Jihyo giggled, a little amused by your antics.

“I’ll never know until I try.” Your girlfriend let out a high pitched yelp as she watched you drop yourself onto the floor. In a desperate attempt to try and carry your legs, you hugged them close to your chest and started to shake your bum on the floor.

Jihyo laughed as a constipated look overtook your features. You were slowly scooching forward on the clinic’s dirty marble floor.

“Dear god this is embarrassing,” she grinned as Jihyo pulled out her iPhone. A true testimony to her impeccable idol skills, she somehow managed to capture some flattering angles—as flattering as one could look wiggling on the floor—of you. She quickly sent the 30-second clip to the TWICE group chat, thoroughly enjoying your small lapse of judgement due to the gas.

A couple of minutes later, although you were still a little woozy from the laughing gas, you did seem to be thinking a little clearer. The hazy look disappeared from your eyes as they did a small scan of the room.

“Why am I on the floor?” You asked Jihyo confused. All you got was a cheeky wink as laughter carried throughout the room.

MYOUI MINA

To be quite honest, Mina was a little terrified. She’s never taken care of someone post-surgery before and she was more than a little anxious that she wouldn’t do a good job. She had done plenty of research beforehand of all the foods you could and couldn’t have, as well as some special aftercare techniques to ensure you wouldn’t get an infection. By all means, she was completely prepared. However, she didn’t feel as though she was.

Mina had definitely seen her fair share of laugh gas videos online so she kind of knew what to expect. But when you got wheeled into the room, looking as hammered as can be, Mina began to freak out. The nurse quickly reassured her that yes, that was normal and that no, you would not look like that forever. She let out a sigh of relief. Truth be told, she much preferred your original face.

When the assistant left the room, Mina sat patiently, waiting for you to say something weird. She reasoned that she just had to let you do whatever you wanted to do and that there was no real way for her to stop you. She just prayed you wouldn’t reveal anything too...scandalous about your relationship. You also did not need to air out any dirty laundry either.

However, to her immense surprise, you just sat there staring at her with a look of wonder. “Y/N?” She whispered cautiously, careful not to set you off on a tangent although realistically she understood that that is not how laughing gas works.

“Can we cuddle? I miss you.” You responded in a tone that was just as gentle as the one Mina had used. She blinked twice, a little confused, but ultimately decided to grant your wishes. You rarely ever asked for physical affection, not to mention in such a careful and fragile voice.

She climbed onto the clinic bed, careful to not rock it too much. You didn’t seem to mind too much though as you hastily, and quite clumsily, made room for her to sit. As soon as she got herself situated on the bed, you wrapped your arms around her torso in a huge bear hug and pulled her down into a lying position.

A small puff of air escaped her lips due to her surprise but she quickly grew comfortable as the familiar scent of your laundry detergent filled her senses. From there on, you didn’t say much. You would periodically shift a little, burying your face into her neck, but aside from that, you didn’t say a thing.

A nice peaceful calm settled in the air. Mina let out a sigh of relief, secretly glad that she didn’t have to take care of a crazed version of you.

“I love you.” Your words were muffled against her sweater, but the meaning was not lost on Mina. She cooed slightly at how adorable you were being. You guys rarely said those three words, only saving them for special occasions. That way, it made them sound even more meaningful than usual.

She let out a small breathless chuckle, her cheeks red at the implication of your words. “I love you too.”

KIM DAHYUN

Did she look like a tourist with that huge camera bag swung across her chest? Yes. Did she look ridiculous? Also yes. As soon as Dahyun had arrived at the clinic, she requested to have a private post-surgery room. Of course, they complied with her wishes. After all, she was Kim Dahyun of Twice.

She had managed to drag one of the managers into the room with her. The manager was in charge of setting up the lights as she positioned the camera. Her experience of being an idol was coming into handy. Dahyun knew just how to get the perfect angle so that you would still look pretty, even if you were acting absolutely ridiculous.

A knock on the door shook Dahyun out of her concentrated stupor. “Please come in!”

When the employees helped you into the room, they were surprised to see such a professional set up. They were also surprised to see the manager sitting in the corner, panting from exhaustion. Dahyun shot them a disarming smile. Confused and slightly scared, they gently led you to the clinic bed before swiftly exiting the room.

Dahyun clapped her hands together in excitement. Now comes the fun part! However, much to her dismay, all you did was lie on the bed with your eyes closed. You weren’t acting like those people that she saw on YouTube. Dahyun pouted, a little disappointed that you were taking a big nap. At least you looked kind of cute with that big bandage wrapped around your head.

She smiled lovingly, albeit a bit defeated, and began to dismantle her camera and lights. Just as she turned off the camera, she heard you let out a small groan of pain. Her head snapped in your direction.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

You groaned again in response. Dahyun carefully set her camera on the ground before approaching you. When she arrived beside you, she noticed that you were holding your leg. Pain crossed your features as you mumbled a bunch of nonsensical phrases.

“What’s wrong?” Panic flowed through her veins as she desperately searched your body for wounds. Had the surgeons messed up? Before she could come to a conclusion, you suddenly shot up, completely dismissing your previous leg pain. Dahyun yelped as she jumped back in surprise. You stared at her, a serious expression crossing your features.

“I have the sexiest legs in this entire universe.”

Dahyun blinked twice.

“Huh?”

“My legs are sexier than Momos. My legs are so hot they could fry perfect sunny side eggs.” You then proceeded to place your index finger on your thigh as you made an unnaturally loud-sounding sizzle, all while looking very constipated.

Dahyun let out a boisterous laugh, completely caught off guard by your actions. She could even hear the manager laughing along with her.

“Yes, your legs are very hot,” She placated. However, instead of calming down like she thought you would, you began to pout even more. Crossing your arms around your chest, you turned yourself away from her.

“I bet you think Momo’s legs are hotter.”

My god, you were adorable. Dahyun stifled a laugh by cupping her hands around her mouth. “Sure sounds like someone’s jealous.”

“Of those dumbbell looking legs? Never.” You snorted, a little offended that she would ever insinuate otherwise. Dahyun let out a very amused laugh.

She was definitely going to tell Momo you said that.

SON CHAEYOUNG

Was she going to take advantage of your laughing gas situation? Yes. Was she going to paint your face and then take photos for blackmail? Also yes.

Chaeyoung happily collected her various brushes, as well as her colourful palette of paints, and gently placed them in an art bag. Soon, she would be departing from the dorms and on her way to the clinic. To her calculations, she should arrive as soon as you finished your wisdom teeth surgery.

“Maybe I could paint Y/N as Mona Lisa.” She adopted a thoughtful expression but quickly tossed that particular idea in the trash can. “Nah, I like the clown idea better.”

When she arrived, she noticed that she was receiving quite a few odd looks from the receptionists. Chaeyoung looked down at her bulging black bag. Now that she took a proper look at it, it did kind of look like a body bag. She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. “Ah, just some outfits for my next photo-shoot,” She said. You know, like an absolute liar.

They nodded understandingly and seemed to quickly forget about her presence as they went back to work. Soon after, Chaeyoung was directed into a small white room with waxed wooden floors. They told her to wait here as they went to grab you. She bounced in her seat in excitement, mentally preparing herself to make you the prettiest clown in the entire universe.

You got wheeled in on a white bed, seemingly asleep. Chaeyoung grinned evilly as soon as the assistant had left the room. “Attack!” She screamed her battle cry before whipping out her brushes.

She made quick work of the paint, mixing various colours expertly to get just the right shade of red. Truth be told, she was a little skeptical as to why you were not waking up. However, she got so caught up in her work, she quickly forgot about it.

A couple of minutes in, she had already successfully, although a little messily, painted the white around your eyes and lips. She also managed to finish the red nose and cheeks. All in all, she was pretty proud of herself. In-between sessions, she would take photos of you from various angles. When she took a quick step back, she realized you looked absolutely comical.

Laughing in amusement, she decided to stop there and just let you wake up naturally. Washing her brushes in the nearby sink, she eyed you carefully, excited to see what you would do after you woke up.

When you eventually did wake up, you stared at her groggily, confusion contorting your facial features. Chaeyoung stifled a laugh. The clown makeup was truly spectacular. Dare she say it was her best work yet.

It was time for the reveal. Chaeyoung opened her phone camera and directed it to your face. At first, you were extremely surprised by the sight. However, you didn’t say anything. You just touched your face gently, pinching and stretching your skin. She chuckled at how adorably confused you looked.

“I guess the laughing gas still hasn’t left your system yet,” Chaeyoung deducted.

“Chae?” You mumbled, a little disoriented. She hummed playfully, happily awaiting for your response. She desperately wanted to hear your thoughts. You looked up at her in amazement, eyes full of wonder. “The plastic surgery was a complete success. I look gorgeous.”

Chaeyoung doubled over in laughter, hitting her head on the bed in the process.

Sure, she later ended up in the ER, diagnosed with a slight concussion. And on top of that, after the laughing gas left your system and you realized what Chaeyoung had done, you started to ignore her, despite her best efforts to cheer you up.

However, it was all worth it in the end because she really did get some amazing blackmail photos.

CHOU TZUYU

Tzuyu, despite her member’s constant reassurance, was still a little scared about having to take care of you. She’s never had any of her friends or family members have surgery. And the time that Jihyo had received her knee surgery, Tzuyu wasn’t even around her. Jihyo had stayed home with her parents, absent from all of their scheduled activities.

She nervously played with her fingers, patiently awaiting your arrival. When you finally did arrive in the post-surgery room, she was so stunned by the immediate bruising of your cheeks, she had barely paid any attention to what the assistant had told her.

When she realized that she had zoned out, she sheepishly asked the employee to repeat it. They smiled kindly before quickly giving her a small summary of what they said before leaving the room.

According to the assistant, you were to stay there until all of the laughing gas had left your system. You might say or do weird things, but that was all normal. Tzuyu pulled out her phone and quickly set her timer for ten minutes. That should be enough time for the effects to wear off. She sat ramrod straight, a little awkward and unsure of what to do next.

However, when you groaned in apparent pain, she immediately rushed to your side. “Are you okay? Where does it hurt?” She grabbed your hands, hoping some physical contact would help comfort you.

“My tummy.” That was not the answer she was expecting.

“Your stomach?” She asked bewildered. You just had a wisdom teeth surgery, there was absolutely no reason for your stomach to be hurting. She patted your stomach lightly whilst staring at your face, trying to pinpoint where exactly the pain was coming from.

Another small groan left your throat as she apparently touched a sore spot just above your belly button. Tzuyu was definitely panicking by now. Her eyes shot back and forth as she scanned the rest of your body. What had they done to you?

“You fill my tummy with butterflies.” You grinned cheekily at her, any supposed pain was quickly forgotten. She gaped at your words, unsure of what to say. Tzuyu’s cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree, the redness quickly reaching the tips of your ears. There was no reason to be so nervous, she reasoned with herself.

Dear god, you were being adorable. Even under the influence of laughing gas, you were still a smooth talker. She giggled as the sudden invasive feeling of being a high school student with a crush filled her system. She felt oddly flattered and more than little flustered. Her eyes softened as her entire body relaxed.

However, your expression quickly suddenly turned serious. “I’d appreciate it if you could stop though. I need that room for food.”

Tzuyu burst out in laughter, completely caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanour. Yup, there was no reason to be nervous after all.

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invitedeath · 3 years

Photo

SEPHIROTH — relationship & plotter call.

hello lovely isolians! it’s been actually ages since i made my first one, or my second one, so i’m coming back with new vigour & hopefully some new ideas to tempt you all into friendship ( or...enemy...ship) with sephiroth!

so liking this post means that you are 100% down with interacting with me in some fashion! ways this might happen may be... → me sending you im’s / tumblr asks to plot or chat! i can be quite a talkative person as a forewarning, as i love discussing rp things as well as getting to know my rp partner! → if we are already friends on discord or twitter, i might message you that way to ask you about plots or ideas or to run things by you. → exchanging ask memes / meme day things that might be a bit more personal than a general sentence meme. → possible random starters or musings dedicated to your muse, sometimes i get sudden inspiration for these things! i will always check first that you’re okay with taking on a new thread, but yes this is for just... if i get inspired & want to put something up for you! → general tomfoolery and shenanigans in character ( and ooc if you like )

you can contact me via the im system here, by the /ask feature or you can ask for my discord/twitter if you prefer those. just let me know. discord is the most private however so we’d need to chat a bit more elsewhere first just for my comfort! i am in the isola discord sever however so we can totally talk in that server for a bit too!

FRIENDS.

↪ honestly friendships aren’t typically on the agenda for him. he is arrogant beyond belief and considers everyone to be weaker than him or to some degree unworthy of his time or energy. he really does not have any interest emotionally in anyone besides himself, instead he is far more likely to use and discard people when they are no longer needed. HOWEVER, in 2020 sephiroth underwent quite a big character development stage, essentially his long-term goal came to a head and it backfired pretty back when he got all his powers back, so while he’s super strong again now, he’s also semi-content (i guess) with living in isola for a while, if only so he can figure out how the multiverse works (meta, i know). he talks to people now (wow!) and engages in mostly philosophical conversations, about... life. death. etc.

↪ i am down to... vague villain-alliance type deals with fellow power players here. he wont consider your muse a friend, but rather a pawn or even a means to an end, that end being his goal of generally using this island for his means, apologies. preferably the intellectual, over-powered, edgy types will probably gravitate towards him more, but i’m willing to throw anything at the wall to see what sticks. he’s not a nice guy, by any means, but it would be interesting to see how he has to play the game here to his advantage until he regains powers. i especially would like to interact with other villains who are kind of just chilling, maybe they’re veterans in spirale also and they can share a glass of wine over watching all the citizens running around like ants. we could also do a murder if you are into that.

↪ there are some cases where he might engage in conversation with non-villain types and these would likely be far more dialogue-heavy threads including metaphorical topics or debates. the conversations of life, death, mortality, good vs evil, frailty of existence, legacy, power and corruption, calamities, birthright and betrayal are just some of the topics possible to arise in discussion. that being said, whilst these topics would be of interest to him, the character themselves must meet his standard of what he considers worthy of his time eg. those just willing to argue with him will bore him whereas someone curious to his nature might be treated to an actual conversation. over time this has opened up into most people being capable of talking to him. he has less patience for over-eager plucky types, but anyone with a respectable manner who likes talking a lot will probably find an interesting conversation partner in this... ONLY SLIGHTLY CHILLED sephiroth. he’s not totally chill, he’s just a lil chill.

↪ warriors, outcasts, villains, intellectuals, fellow puppet-master type villains especially, those he ‘befriended’ in past events, perhaps even neighbours to his castle would all be likely connections. friends of those he has worked alongside or met, or those wishing to seek great power and know of his existence might seek him out also, but yes... ““““friends”“““ is a very difficult term for him. he’s getting better.

→ his most recent developments see him as a far more casual version of his canon self, over a year of living as close to a “domestic life” as possible have meant that whilst he is aloof and cold, he is also far more likely to be out and about, buying wine at some creepy gas station at 4:30am for example. he chats when he’s in the mood and might even stick around to cause some chaos for the sake of boredom eating him alive. so whilst he is still very much a dangerous inhabitant here in spirale, sephiroth is currently Domesticated somewhat.

ENEMIES.

↪ heroes of all shapes and sizes might feel threatened by the ominous presence of a monster who seems inclined to side with chaos as opposed to peace. he’s not outright starting fires here but he is present in the more morbid moments of isolian discourse, an omen of death lingering on the sideline. he has his plans and he may just mock you with them, but in general since he does and WILL cut down npcs ( or players ) alike, he makes for the perfect villain. BE WARY he has all of his powers unlocked and knows the island well. fighting him would not guarantee your victory, especially if you are a freshly applied character.

in feb 2020 he almost brought chaos to spirale too so i’m sure anyone holding a grudge or wary of a potential threat like that would be very aggro towards him.

↪ he has traumas. plenty of them. some of them originate from labs and white coats, meaning he might just view you as an enemy if you’re a scientist or someone who dabbles in human experimentation. his reasons are his own, but let’s just say that if you consider him a good candidate for poking and prodding with scientific equipment, you may just lose an arm.

↪ i LOVE fight threads especially really gritty, bloody types. i would prefer to plot these out so we know what’s going on beforehand, but feel free to develop these with me honestly i love a good old classic villain hero showdown. he’s less likely to get into these without a good reason but if we do one, the winner is randomly determined via generator to make it fair if your character is also uncapped!

→ police/law enforcers/general crime stoppers might remember him for causing a bit of trouble in the past! insert how bad me be gif. try and ??? get him to apologise i guess. arresting sephiroth sounds like the plot of a funny movie.

LOVERS.

↪ this man has a bf now, can you believe it? 2021...isola gay rights.

MISC.

↪ pawns and such would be a fun dynamic later. his general presence is pretty terrifying, so it wouldn’t be a stretch if you have an appropriate muse for them to be fearful enough to carry out some little tasks for him. this might be more common later on, but i’m down to discussion for it currently!

↪ places you may find him can include: ↪ near his residence ( personal housing; castle in the mistwood ) ↪ fibonacci ward ( levels 3 and 4 especially due to the museums and things. but also the lowest levels, he tends to wander around there as if searching for something... feel free to try and figure out what it is ) ↪ golden ward ( the university if only to borrow books from the library, he can read there for days at a time without sleep or food. he reads all kinds of things, both fiction and non fiction. ) ↪ archimedes ward ( pretty much everywhere in this ward, it’s my favourite. he enjoys music and art sometimes. hit me with that biblical shit. ) ↪ the mistwood ( 100% down to be that cryptic creature that leads you from your path to your likely doom ) ↪ the city of yesteryear ( typically the underground areas, just investigating really. any strange occurrences would likely draw him there as would any presence of a strong power. ) ↪ atop skyscrapers, looming at the ‘edge’ of the world we can currently explore, typically more active at night, perhaps at the scene of a murder / attack ( plotted ), if he’s feeling extra ballsy he might be found in a bar but its very rare. very VERY rare, wandering broken buildings, invading scientific facilities or buildings. he’s not going to be found in busy, socially strained areas basically.

↪ i’m down for any ideas you might have too for plots so feel free to just message me if nothing here caters!

STATS PAGE | APPLICATION | PLOTTING PAGE

#isola relationship call #isola plotting call #cw // long post #AAAYYY

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bananonbinary · 5 years

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in response to that crying babies post... i really do not think it is fair to call people assholes on account of feeling annoyed by a sound? it is not a declaration of intent, the post is literally just saying that they do not and cannot relate to a trope used in media. it just hurts to read someone say that i am an asshole for feeling an emotion in response to a certain stimulus, all of which is beyond my control?

oh my god i typed up a whole response to this and then the page crashed, im not doing that again so heres a summary:

1) i dont think the shower thought was made with the intent you’re ascribing it here. it wasnt just “i cant relate to this trope” but “this trope is stupid and doesnt make sense because i cant imaging ANYONE ever feeling compassion for a wailing child,” (it was stated in a really universal way, like “babies crying is annoying” is just a fact of life and not an opinion) which is in fact pretty assholish whether you find the sound grating or not

2) i have sensory issues, so i really do understand not being able to handle a sound, but then you take a step back and realize “this is a sound of distress so even if i hate it, it still means that the creature making it needs help right now,” and exercising that awareness of others IS something in your control. if your only response to another human’s distress is “god this is making my day worse, fuck that person” and you never stop to think about if they’re okay, that IS cruel. it would be cruel if you treated an adult crying that way, and it’s still cruel to do it to a child.

3) every time i get into this debate i get anons like this and i really think yall are vastly underestimating how many people out there just stone-cold despise children. when i say someone is a dick im likely not talking about the people who simply arent equipped to handle children (lord knows i’m one of them), im talking about the people who talk about children as if they arent people, but only exist to inconvenience them, specifically, and are actively trying to ruin their life by needing help and protection from adults. that’s.....a really common and really selfish and shitty attitude, and the one i think the shower thought was expressing, not just that crying is hard to listen to.

#discourse /#hi attitudes towards children is still one of my kinda Pet Causes #they are just small humans please treat them as such.#Anonymous

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leopardgeckoguy-blog · 5 years

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Leopard Gecko Caresheet

Leopard geckos are one of the simplest pets to look after and one of the most rewarding. They are beautiful and fascinating to watch and are even very friendly. One of my leopard geckos Gwen will go to sleep next to the front of her vivarium when I am in the room, just for the company. If im not there she sleeps in her main hide. This is why these like other pets are popular, as they have personality.

Initial Equipment Required

Get all of these items before buying your leopard gecko. This will cause your new leopard gecko to be less stressful and be able to go straight into a nice warm vivarium as soon as you get it back to your home.

1. Suitable substrate (Young on kitchen roll and older on reptile sand or other substrate, have a look around) 2. A 20-gallon reptile tank 3. Hide/s (depends on the size of the above 4. Moist Hide 5. Moss for the moist hide 6. Heat pad (to cover a third of the tank) 7. Thermometer 8. Live food (correct size) 9. Light bulb 10. Leopard Gecko book 11. Water dish 12. Food dish 13. Gut loading supplement for live food 14. Reptile safe disinfectant

Optional extras

These are not wholly essential straight away but can be introduced later on when your leopard gecko has settled down.

1. Additional furnishings (plastic plants, hides, wood, water fountains etc…..) 2. Nocturnal lamp 3. Faeces sieve or spoon 4. Insurance (essential for long term health) 5. Calcium dish

Once you have all these, set up your vivarium so it becomes nice a warm and at the right temperatures. Then go and get your leopard gecko! Remember to include your thermometer in setup. Once you put your leopard gecko inside the vivarium leave it alone for a week. This is so it gets used to its surroundings and may be stressed from the move for a few days. Only then should you try and make contact with your leopard gecko. During the week feed it with gut loaded live food.

Feeding

Feeding leopard geckos is easy. The hard part is finding the right sized live food. The food you give should only be about the size of half your geckos head. The food should be dusted with a calcium and vitamin supplement before feeding. The live food should also be fed, this process is called gut loading. Mealworms are a good start for juveniles as they don’t run away like crickets do. Crickets or locusts should be introduced after 3 or 4 months. Only feed your leopard gecko as much as they want/need. No more than 4 or 5 crickets or 7 or 8 mealworms.

Providing hides

You have to provide at least two hides for your leopard gecko. One dry hide and one which is moist. You can make the moist hide out of an old Tupperware container so it doesn’t wet the sand or other type of substrate used. You fill the moist hide with moss.

Substrate

The type of substrate you use depends on the age of your leopard gecko. Small babies and juveniles should always be kept on kitchen roll. With older adults you have the choice of suitable substrate. There has been much debate on which to use and it is just a case of natural preference. I recommend either stick to kitchen roll, calcium sand or maybe some reptile carpet. The substrate in the cage should be around 1 to 1 and half inches thick so heat can be evenly distributed.

Heat and Temperature

The temperature in your vivarium is essential for healthy leopard geckos. Although they are not active during the day as they are active in early morning and twilight hours. The average temperature in the vivarium should be 30c falling to 20c during the night. The heat mat should only cover between 25 to 50% of the vivarium, I recommend getting a good quality heat mat as they are essential. Any more than 50% and there won’t be any cooler areas for regulation of temperature.

Providing Water

Water should be provided in a very shallow dish for juveniles in case they fall into it. This doesn’t happen often but it is better to be safe than sorry. You give water to leopard geckos in a number of containers which fit the purpose such as jar lids (sterilised).

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adleryoung · 5 years

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"Mixing gunpowder with liquor will make it explode," P.J. warned.

"That's not true at all," Ethel scoffed. "You have to light it with a match, and it will burn only if the liquor is sufficiently strong."

"But my brother Fercy says -"

"Your brother Fercy is an idiot. Your family fortunes are in a decline because he couldn't resist playing the ponies, isn't that right?"

"He had honorable intentions," P.J. pouted.

"I doubt it," Ethel scoffed. "There's no way he could have married all of them. But to return to the point, mixing gunpowder and booze will likely just ruin both."

"SHUT UP, both of you!" I snapped. "Minister of Disinformation, do not debate matters of fact with the War Marshal! War Marshal, do not question the judgment of your Lord! You're not taking Elf Magick into account! I will steam that powder and dry it, and the compressed result will be lighter and more potent that the original! You'll see! I will have to set up an alchemy lab, but first I need to confer with my agents regarding the new plans - so keep quiet while we discuss."

"Now then, Typantronn, we have decided in a High Strategic Council that our best tactic will be to release swarms of tree-destroying pests on the Shrub Army. We have been advised that you have a sizeable collection of such pests already in your possession."

"That's right, Sire," the Ixie beamed. "I am pleased to be so useful to thee. My pantry shall be at thy disposal. Meanwhile, surely the anticipation of orders on such a tremendous scale deserveth a promotion?"

"I might also need a squadron of Ixies to roll or perhaps hurl bottles of flammable material at the Shrubs," I continued.

"Assuredly Sire, we are at thy service. But promotion to a rank befitting my responsibility -"

"Your constant begging for a promotion is making me uninclined to give you one," I pointed out.

"Ah, but once the promotion is granted," she countered, "then I shall stop asking thee for it."

"Fine," I sighed. "You are now Grand Poobah of the Ominous Orse. Now go get your swarm of pests ready for deployment."

"Hear that, sisters?" Typantronn exclaimed as she turned to face the gang of Ixies that had helped her bring the bags of powder. "I am Grand Poobah now! I promote thee, Beelzebabs, to Sprite Lieutenant. Tinkle, thou'rt now Sergeant Top Class."

"What about me, LOL?" chirped an unusually large Ixie near the back. "After all, Im teh 1 who knew wear 2 find teh powder."

"I promote thee to Special Ablities Ladybird Vindicatrix," Typantronn declared without missing a beat.

"HEY!" I snapped. "STOP THAT! I'm the only one who can hand out promotions! None of those ones you just did are official."

"But I've worked hard to make it to Sprite Lieutenant," Beelzebabs whined.

"Fine," I snorted. "These three I'll allow, but no more unauthorized promotions! I mean it! Now, you have your assignment. Dismiss!"

They all saluted and buzzed away - except for the oversized one, who scampered inelegantly along the ground with her elytra and her lower pair of arms flopping limply. The poor thing must have been the result of a birth defect .. "Special Abilities" Typantronn had designated in her rank. It made me proud to know that my elite squadron of spies and operatives were able to find a place even for the unfortunate and odd-shaped among them.

I lowered my head to discreetly wipe my eyes on my sleeve, and noticed the mustache lying on the ground at my feet. Hmm. I bet there would be a lot less insubordination among my troops, and a lot more obedience, if I had this magnificent ornament adorning my lip! I quickly snatched it up and stowed it in my Elfintory for later.

"Now then," I said, turning to Ethel. "As General-In-Chief and War Marshal, you must be properly equipped. You must be resplendent in gleaming armor to protect your person, as well as strike fear into the enemy and inspire courage among your allies. I should be able to Gramarye your clothes into something suitable. Would you prefer to take them off, or have me alter them directly on your body?"

"Uh," Ethel stalled. "Armor really isn't as relevant as it used to be, not in this modern age of ballistics and firepower and walking forests."

#furry #elf #insect #story #adventure #plot #cartoon #silly #tboay

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gothic-chicanery · 6 years

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The Diary of Dr. Elena Rosewood

Horror one off story. I’m putting it under a cut

TW for blood, death, and disease

12/14/37

Sent to quarantine, and am currently kicking myself. I tested positive for the disease and the police didn’t listen to my explanations. Now I am without my lab and test instruments, and the data gathered will be strictly qualitative. Damnit.

Of course, this may be a blessing in disguise, as the effects of the vaccine will be able to be seen firsthand, and I’ll have to worry less about my own credibility. Though as a medical doctor who has spent years studying this disease, credibility was never too much of a worry.

I just hope someone takes care of my cats.

No symptoms so far, though that is expected. The incubation period is usually about a week, but this may be altered by the fact that this is a weaker strain that will be easy for my body to fight off. Maybe I will not have any symptoms at all. One can only hope I suppose.

12/16/37

A man leaned into me while I took my daily exercise yesterday, so close that his nose almost touched mine. Dark red sclera showed he was in the later stages of the disease. “We all have it in here,” he growled. “We are all infected.” His breath smelled awful, a mix of metallic and rot, as if someone had shot a deer in a penny factory.

“Yes,” I said slowly. “That is essentially the point of a quarantine.”

I’ve decided to keep mostly to myself from now on.

This story has very little to do with the scientific side of my work, but it is an anecdote that I think would provide quite the cinematic moment when there is a biopic made about me. I mean, the person who discovered a vaccine against the blood plague (though I always hated the sensational nature of that name) will surely get some sort of film recognition.

When I get out, of course, I’ll remove this section. But I believe it is best to be honest to yourself. The rest of the world can get the cool, collected scientist.

Asymptomatic probably still. I thought my sclera looked a little redder, but that may be more easily attributed to confirmation bias or the quality of the mirrors here. It’s a wonder I can see my reflection at all through the graffiti. Wishing I was home. Accurate testing equipment wherefore art thou? My ex, I’m sure, would correct me. Wherefore apparently means why even though it has a where in it. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you never should date English majors. And they say scientists have sticks up their ass.

12/20/37

Definite redness now. I guess it was too much of a long shot that I wouldn’t end up with anything happening. I can’t decide which looks better, a miraculous recovery, or to never get sick at all. I think this. Looks like I’ve suffered more.

Though of course, this isn’t about me. It’s about all the people that I will be keeping safe from the disease.

12/25/37

Well. Merry Christmas to me. I’m Rudolph the Red-Eyed Fucking Reindeer. Disease taking hold. I think it’ll get worse before it gets better, damn it. It’ll definitely get better though. I’m confident in my own intelligence, if nothing else. I had hoped to be out of here before Christmas, but I guess that’s too much to ask for.

I’ve started tasting blood. Every meal seems tainted metallic, though that might actually improve the shit they have us eating. It’s all frozen and half rotten, bottom of the barrel kind of stuff. I guess that makes sense, why waste the good food on those of us that are going to die anyway? I mean, I won’t. But for the rest of them, why bother. There is no cure for the blood plague. Even I’ve only managed to come up with a vaccine.

1/3/38

I lost my journal. No, more accurately, it was stolen by the motherfucker from before. More accurately, he stole it, bled on the pages, and then threw it outside the fence. I have no clue why. He’s bad, blood streaming from his eyes and lips. I could barely make out what he was trying to say, every time he tried to speak, blood dribbled out. Not that I cared what he had to say. I’d imagine he only had days left.

My own condition isn’t getting better, though it hasn’t gotten noticeably worse. Small amounts of blood in my mouth, my spit has been slightly tinged pink for the last few days. I calculated the turnaround though. It should be any day now. Any day…

I debated whether or not to write down how I’m writing this, as my journal is no longer here, and decided why not. It’s blood on my wall. I know what you’re thinking, that i’ve likely gone insane, that the blood plague is taking hold. It’s not, I can promise you that. When you look at it, it’s perfect logical.

My top priority is information. I have to record these events so that the process of my vaccine can be documented and studied. As a scientist, I know the most essential thing is data. I need to be able to provide that. I’ve just been forced to use alternative methods.

He would’ve died anyway. There is no cure for the blood plague, and he barely had days left. Something that saves lives is more important than the death of one man, I know it seems macabre but he would’ve died in days. Is it really even a murder when you’re both on death row?

He is.

Was.

I’m not. I’m going to live.

It wasn’t hard, really, to kill him. He wasn’t strong, and it was quite easy to split his head open. The blood just mingled with what was already on the floor and walls, have I mentioned this place has gotten disgusting with all the blood. Dragged him to my room, dipped my finger in, and began writing.

I don’t want this to sound horrific. It’s not. I distanced myself from things, made the matter merely academic. When dissecting something, you don’t contemplate the pathos, you just analyze. That is merely what I’m doing. He would’ve died soon anyway.

1/11/38

The body stinks to high heaven and I can barely get enough blood to write with without a few maggots or flies crawling over my fingers. I need to remain objective but they are truly disgusting.

Blessing in disguise, perhaps, my own eyes have begun dripping. My mouth too, though that’s diluted. I can keep writing. I will document this. I will wait for my body to fight off the vaccine, for immunity to kick in. I will be the one to figure it out I will be known I will be a savior

Just a little longer

#horror #writeblr #my writing

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impivus · 6 years

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very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything

aka im lazy

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 ) years old . some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL & MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us . ⇢ SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE / entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN / scorpio ENNEAGRAM TYPE / 7w8 KINSEY SCALE / 3 MORAL ALIGNMENT / chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS.

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust .

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free? eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ?? i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once .. have a hort he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage. queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger. all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird ) that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic.

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped.

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away.

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr:

#oddintro #. I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE ── / OOC. ❞#so this is. a thing!

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

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here’s me talking about the month since i was last online

firstly it was/is depressing not to be able to talk with ppl or hear from them. or just to be able to talk somewhere i know people CAN hear. i also mentioned being completely detached from the news. i like to be current about the news. anyways i was like “well not like this is anything new” as its technically unusual for me to NOT be cut off both irl and from the internet. but, shockingly, that doesnt make it not depressing. and having something for even a bit makes it more frustrating to lose it even if its “normal” for you not to have it. also by depressing i mean i was going like hmm i sure am even more tired than usual and i am less interested in my few lingering faint interests. whats up with that! and then i was like oh yeah thats called Even More Depression

it is funny because im someone who has never really had that many friends and when i do we often end up separated one way or another. Very Close friends &/or Very Longtime friends are a foreign concept. basically the heights of my “what i wish it was like” for life involve having a group of friends with whom you can have fun in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night just talking and hanging out and messing around. friends that you feel comfortable being yourself around and like they appreciate you as much as you do them. i do not think this is ever going to happen, but oh well because in reality i can be very picky about people because i am weird, to put it that way for now. my social landscape and language is not always considered normal or even tolerable. and i have a lot of standards for who i want to have around me in terms of traits and personality. theres a lot of things im not interested in. anyways. i also just, in the way things actually are, often prefer to be alone, so that i can be myself and do things i feel like. i dont have to worry about being strange or feeling like i need to please people. anyways. unfortunately i dont ONLY like being alone. i actually really like to be with people and talk with them but i rarely can, and i figure this is bad for me. isolation isnt good for anyone obviously. not being able to be around friends in person depresses me. not being able to talk online either depresses me further.

i think sometimes about how much i dont say. its a funny place to say it, in an overly long text post. but one of the reasons they can be so long is because irl i dont really talk much to people. so it builds up and can come out through writing. sometimes it comes out in talking. i think that in conversations, when i do talk, i talk too much because of this. so one of the reasons i dont talk much is to prevent this, which obviously is like “well that would just cancel out” but there are other reasons i dont talk. but i have loads of thoughts and things to say. i end up keeping so much of it to myself and wonder sometimes if i’ll ever get to say some of it. sometimes i’ll have something to say and bite it back. i’ve been “quiet” all these past twenty some years of talking and i know the reasons i dont talk. i was thinking about the feeling of biting something back in an individual occasion feeling like the cumulation of all the years worth of keeping my own voice running in my head alone. it kind of feels like what you want to say is in your chest and throat and the roof of your mouth.

speaking of the roof of your mouth, theres a weird sensation i can feel sometimes, seemingly at random but mostly in strange times like trying to fall asleep. it is so transient and unlike any actual externally caused sensations that its been difficult to try to get a grasp of how to describe it, but i think i have it thanks to ongoing effort and an unusually long period of it a few days ago during which i was especially alert about it. it’s like having a pressure radiating out from inside your mouth. like an orb pushing outwards against the teeth and roof of the mouth. which i’m fairly sure isn’t anything that would ever happen, so i am assuming its some little neurological hiccup that happens to align every now and then, but maybe a previous life cycle has put something weird in their mouth. or shot into it, because i would be like, well not much has changed.

anyways. words sitting like a pressure in your mouth. i was seeing a thread about how grief is ongoing and reoccurring which also mentioned that people who specialize in knowing how grieving and living with it works often consider it to be a form of grief when someone’s life is affected by something like trauma. they have to grieve themselves because of the possibilities taken away from them. i feel that, sometimes. thinking about how i wish i had a life where i felt free to speak and where my identity mattered and i got to feel like i could be myself and it was important and it was important what i thought and wanted and who i really was. and where i got to have friends and do things and realize what it was to actually feel happy, not try to understand an unhappy existence as what must be okay. its not just what couldve been in the past, but also how that couldve affected the present and future. im not sure who i’d be if my life didnt have to be about survival and escape. i say i never had dreams, which is true, but in retrospect i DO think that when i was fifteen and really bearing down in trying to figure out what i wanted to do, i was already seeing activism as the answer, which made sense why it wouldnt register as a dream or ambition and why it was also impossible to pursue. i still dont think of anything like personal fulfillment through a career/job or anything. but i also dont think of what i want to do as very relevant to anything at all anymore.

anyways. i’m “used” to things, but they still depress and hurt me. i actually have a lot of sadness and anger about some of these things, like never getting to have the friends i wanted or never being able to speak and it not mattering who i really was, and how long it took me to realize this really wasn’t okay and it wasn’t because of some personal deficiency which made me deserve it somehow. also the abuse. i remember i had this how-to book about weaving friendship bracelets which i got sometime in elementary school, and it even supplied some twine and stuff. i had always wanted to have occasion to use it, and i never did, which is just symbolic. the twine/potential friendship bracelets can also be things like positive social connections that feel real and open, or my ability to feel secure in expressing affection because it seems mutual. but anyways. i also just go along.

i was thinking about the Being Gone For A Month thing and the not-talking and holding all my words back even though i think so much about all sorts of junk and thus have too much to say, and about a week ago i just spent like six hours writing about myself. i was debating doing so in the first place because i figured i wouldnt post it. i did write it, but i won’t post it. its just good to talk to myself in the form of writing. getting thoughts into that form requires an extra level of analysis and coherent flow that can help put even things you already knew more in order. so here’s this stuff instead.

there’s not much to say about this past month. the worst of it was that discovering my weird tooth is all janky and broken has made me on edge about teeth. i mean, i’ve already all but stopped worrying about the broke tooth, because i kind of do that sometimes when i can. just worry hard and then stop, because what can you do? might as well try to avoid stressing even worse. and in this case i dont have money and doubt i will ever have a job w dental coverage, so i cant do anything about it. but im always worried about my teeth because, fittingly, my parents dental genes seem to combine into that of a tasmanian devil. i think im in some Dental Report b/c i had this weird situation that needed basically a root canal but it wasnt the normal kind of root canal situation and the dentist said he hadn’t seen it or heard of it even. special. i was horrified about needing the root canal, because of the clichés. but it ended up being fine and i really just sat there for an hour thinking about whatever. dental procedures are truly not what theyre hyped up to be. on account of local anesthetics. anyways. when i left my parents house i was specifically worried about leaving my access to a dentist, but obviously it wouldve been far from worth it. but that doesn’t mean i dont worry about my teeth. so i had these few days where i just had a spontaneously sensitive gum spot and another one which im guessing i caused by jamming corn shards down in there by eating corn on the cob. that happened sort of last year, i got really worried about an angry-looking spot on my gums and finally realized something was just up in there that needed to be flossed out. anyhow. the point is i got overly worried about everything that always worries me even though it used to worry me even before going to the dentist and they’d say the stuff was fine actually. but still. i got

very worried for a minute there and i realized very easily that if i start getting any really serious tooth problems i am out of here. i have no motivation at all to live through it. i don’t want to have to deal with that. it’s way too much. i dont even have motivation to be alive now. but when i was worrying i was thinking about not using my handful of cash to change locations, but instead to get some fancy Dying Equipment. there are still some methods by which im not sure i could try offing myself. but if things got a lot worse, like teeth problems, i could probably lower those standards. i COULD obtain some items for one method, or by necessity do it for free. im less worried about the tooth stuff now. it was just an unfortunate convergence of a couple tiny things. but ive still got a sensitive spot or two, and im always a bit worried. if something bad happens i cant do anything about it except get tf out of this life cycle, right.

there was something else unfortunate i was going to talk about. maybe just the depression.

there were nice, small things. i always knew how to enjoy those kinds of stuff. i like the sky, and i appreciate that its summer. theres a lot of fireflies sometimes and i saw kittens chasing them one day. one of those kittens mightve gotten killed by something since. i got to hear rain on the roof a few times. i like corn on the cob even if it betrayed me. i was wanting some last summer. i also got to make sweet tea and lemonade for the first time in forever. i’d been wanting that for a long time too.

the nicest surprise was that i had been writing extra hard since the start of june. i sort of really pushed at it and got to the dividing point between the section and the next, and i was sure it was shorter than previous sections. but actually it was just over 1000 words short of being 140k, and i’d written it all in about five weeks, and it was abt 22.5% longer than the next longest section i’d written. i’ve since gotten to a point i’ve been writing towards since this whole time, and im right on the verge of another long awaited one right now. it’s nice, but writing has been fun, and i hope i dont get depressed if i hopefully do finish it. i can just write some more, but doing so on my phone isnt the most efficient. it doesnt seem sustainable.

anyways thats it for now before i can think of anything else to say am i right

#talking abt being nervous abt it has made me a bit more nervous abt it...im trying to simmer down...dont have to die just yet...But You Know #also i could.

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wolfandpravato · 7 years

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One law professor’s overview of the confusing net neutrality debate

I’ve remained rationally ignorant over the debate on net neutrality, as it’s not in my academic field. But with net neutrality being in the news a lot recently, I took to Twitter to ask if there were any good explainers or debates on the topic that gave both sides of the argument and could help me understand the competing perspectives. Some readers pointed to this debate from 2007 between Tim Wu and Chris Yoo, which seems like a good start.

In addition, professor Gus Hurwitz responded with a long email offering his overview of the debate. I thought his explanation was sufficiently interesting — at least to someone like me who has no background on net neutrality– that I asked him if he would let me publish his explainer here at the blog. He agreed.

What follows below is from Hurwitz, not from me, and it offers his effort to summarize the debates over net neutrality. Of course, it is only one person’s view, and Hurwitz clearly has his own perspective on things — especially near the end. But I thought it was worth offering this perspective, with the understanding that if others think this overview is wrong or misguided, it’s a big Internet and others can respond.

I’ll be happy to update this post with links at the bottom of this post to particularly helpful responses or criticisms of this overview. My goal is just to try to figure out what the debate is, rather than come to a particular view, so I’m particularly interested in perspective that disagree with this take about what the debate is. Just email me with the links to the responses. If there are any particularly good criticisms from people who seem well-informed on the debate, I would also consider posting them in a separate response post (with the authors’ prior permission, of course).

* * * * * * To: Orin Kerr From: Gus Hurwitz

“Net neutrality” refers generally to the idea that ISPs should not treat traffic traversing their networks differently based on its source, content, use, &c. That is, they should be passive conduits that treat all data the same. We’ve been debating whether the FCC should require such neutrality for the past 15 years – and this debate is actually an Internet-era extension of debates that extend back at least to the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) regulation of the historic AT&T monopoly.

I generally identify two main policy issues that animate these debates, which I’ll label competition vs. regulation in natural monopoly industries and the role of regulation in promoting investment and innovation. These are unpacked below. The reality today is that the policy discussion has broken down into pure tribalism – I don’t think there is room (or patience) left for serious policy discussion in this area, even among “serious people.” This is largely because “net neutrality” has become a token representing different, broader, social values that are quite separate from the technical, legal, economic, &c, issues implicated by regulation of how ISPs handle data traversing their networks. I discuss this, as well, as the third point below.

1. Competition vs. regulation in natural monopoly industries

The key background issue in net neutrality (as with almost all telecom and infrastructure discussions) is that last mile Internet access, like most communications networks, is often considered a natural monopoly. “Last mile” access refers to connection between consumers’ houses and their ISPs, and is generally the most expensive part of a network to build. “Natural monopolies” are industries where high entry costs make it economically undesirable to have a great deal of competition. For instance, it may cost $2,400 to connect a house to the Internet. Most consumers only need a single home Internet connection. If the capital costs of building the network are recovered over 10 years, adding a second last-mile connection (that is, ISP) doesn’t offer the consumer any greater functionality but on average increases the price of service from whichever ISP they buy service from by $20/mo.

Whether last-mile Internet access actually is a natural monopoly is often debated – most users have access to at least two high-speed wireline ISPs, many have access to more, and the role of high-speed wireless Internet access (both mobile and fixed) as a competitive alternative is likewise hotly debated. Regardless, it is fair to say that the market is not robustly competitive. This gives rise to concerns that ISPs will have more than a modicum of market power and that they may use this power anticompetitively in ways that harm consumers. The question, then, is what to do in order to protect against these potential harms.

The basic concern of net neutrality in particular is that ISPs, possibly having some market power, may be able to discriminate against data traversing their networks. For instance, an ISP may demand payments from a popular service in exchange for not slowing or blocking that service. An ISP may tell a start-up that it needs to pay more in order to be treated comparably to existing market participants (called paid prioritization). An ISP my disadvantage services that are competitive with the ISP’s own services. Practices such as these could, the concern is, increase costs to consumers or reduce the quality of their Internet experience.

The question of how to address these concerns bifurcates along several dimensions. For instance, whether this is a generalized problem that we should rely on the [Justice Department] or [Federal Trade Commission] to address, or is it a telecom issue that the FCC is better equipped to address (“equipped” in terms of technical expertise or insulation from public choice (FCC being more captured))? Do we want to rely on rules or standards to guide (im)permissible conduct? Should those rules/standards be more antitrust- or consumer-protection like? Do we want to rely on ex ante or ex post enforcement mechanisms for them?

Proponents of net neutrality generally favor strict ex ante rules enforced by the FCC; critics generally favor flexible ex post standards enforced by the FTC, DOJ, and state attorneys general (possibly with an assist by the FCC in investigating problematic conduct).

Informing these worldviews are priors about error costs and, in particular, the costs and benefits of paid prioritization. Proponents generally think that nonneutral conduct by ISPs, and especially paid prioritization, is overwhelmingly likely to be bad for consumers – pure rent extraction by ISPs that will increase consumer prices and harm entry by edge providers. The extent to which some of this conduct may be good for consumers is so diminishingly small that the benefits of reduced enforcement costs, clear rules, and certainty for consumers and application developers outweighs them.

We have the exact opposite view on the other side: the critics think that the likelihood of harmful conduct is small, where it happens existing legal frameworks are likely sufficient to address it, the political economy of consumer concern about and outrage over discriminatory practices will serve as a substantial check on problematic ISP conduct, and where nonneutral practices are implemented it will be because there are significant gains to trade that will ultimately benefit consumers. (In the interest of disclosure, I am in the latter camp, primarily because, as I read it, the economic literature overwhelmingly shows that net neutrality has potentially substantial benefits for consumers and slight risk of harm – and where that harm has occurred in the past we have been able to address it without recourse to strict ex ante rules.)

Related to these issues is the headline question of “classification” – whether Internet access is better classified as an “Information Service” under Title I of the Communications Act or as a “Telecommunications Service” under Title II. In recent years this issue has become synonymous with net neutrality for many, because Title II classification triggers broad regulatory authority under which the FCC can easily implement strict ex ante rules. It is also symbolically important because Title II is a framework for traditional public utilities regulation, which appeals to those who believe that the Internet should be regulated as a public utility.

In terms of policy, however, this question is mostly instrumental, determining what legal authority the FCC uses to implement whatever rules it does – it doesn’t tell us why or what those rules should be. This is a seemingly important question because in 2010 and 2014 the FCC lost cases in which it attempted to enforce net neutrality rules under non-Title II authority. The 2014 case, however, made clear that the FCC could implement net neutrality rules under non-Title II authority, albeit with some limitations.

2. The role of regulation in promoting investment and innovation

The secondary policy argument deals with investment in building out more, faster, networks and, to a lesser extent, encouraging innovation at “the edge” (that is, by application developers/Silicon Valley).

This issue is principally important as a legal hook for FCC regulation. The Communications Act charges the FCC (in hortatory terms) with ensuring that communications services are deployed to all Americans on a timely basis, and Section 706 of the Telecom Act can be read as giving the FCC regulatory authority if it finds that “advanced telecommunications capabilities” are not sufficiently being timely deployed. (Over the years the FCC has read it both as an independent grant of regulatory authority and not, and the courts have deferred to both readings.)

This brings us to the commission’s “virtuous circle,” or “triple bank shot,” theory of investment and innovation. The theory is that net neutrality rules will promote application development; users will want to make use of these applications and will need higher performance networks to do so; and this demand will drive investment by ISPs in better and faster networks. Thus, through a chain of proximate causation insufficient to satisfy Palsgraf, net neutrality rules facilitate the FCC’s mission of encouraging deployment of such networks.

Taking this a step further, net neutrality proponents also believe that investment will be harmed without these rules. ISPs will seek to extract rents from their existing networks rather than upgrading them and, in fact, will view network degradation as a tool to force edge providers to pay for prioritization. And the lack of certainty over how ISPs will discourage application development, reducing innovation (a direct consumer harm), reducing demand for better and faster networks.

The flip-side of this argument is basically that the virtuous circle can go in two directions: net neutrality opponents are concerned that the rules will increase regulatory costs and decrease the profitability of networks, decreasing investment, harming consumers and edge providers alike. And, relating back to the discussion above, the nonneutral practices may, in fact, facilitate certain types of innovation that make otherwise impractical applications possible.

Much of the current debate, and what is in the new order from the FCC, relates to the investment effects of the 2015 order. The data is thin – only two years with a lot of noise – but suggests that network investment is down since the 2015 order was adopted. On the margin, this weighs against the 2015 order, which we would have expected (if the virtuous circle theory was correct) would increase investment. Realistically, this is mostly reading tea leaves. But agencies are supposed to consider relevant facts in policymaking, and this data tends to contradict the 2015 order and support the proposed new order.

A related, though tangential, point is the effects that this has on broadband deployment. One of the FCC’s core goals, both statutorily and as a matter of current policy, is broadband deployment (“closing the digital divide”): getting Internet service built out in un- and underserved communities. If it is true that investment is decreasing, those decreases will most likely come from areas that are higher-cost to build and generate the least revenue – that is, from un- and underserved areas (high cost/low revenue is why they tend to be un- and underserved). This suggests that net neutrality rules could actively frustrate the FCC’s mission.

There is a related argument that I won’t get into here that the rules also have the effect of subsidizing the highest-cost uses of the network, which are primarily luxury uses like watching lots of high-definition video and playing video games, which has the effect of increasing the cost of the highest-value services, such as accessing basic news & information, using government websites, searching for jobs, &c.

3. The social meaning of “net neutrality”

The most confounding aspect of the contemporary net neutrality discussion to me is the social meanings that the concept has taken on. These meanings are entirely detached from the substance of the debate, but have come to define popular conceptions of what net neutrality means. They are, as best I can tell, wholly unassailable, in the sense that one cannot engage with them. This is probably the most important and intellectually interesting aspect of the debate – it raises important questions about the nature of regulation and the administrative state in complex technical settings.

The most notable aspect is that net neutrality has become a social justice cause. Progressive activist groups of all stripes have come to believe that net neutrality is essential to and allied with their causes. I do not know how this happened – but it is frustrating, because net neutrality is likely adverse to many of their interests. One hears lots of stories about how activists are using the Internet, and how small, typically minority-owned, businesses rely on the Internet and therefore on net neutrality. The reality is that there is exceptionally little reason to believe that any ISP would ever do anything to hurt these users. The general animating fear of net neutrality is that ISPs want to move to a “pay-to-play” model, charging those putting content online to deliver that content to users.

But there simply isn’t enough revenue to be generated from charging most of these users to make it worth the ISPs time (not the mention the political costs that ISPs would face if they did). Moreover most of these users do not deliver their own content, but instead rely on third party providers. There are many stories of people producing video content who are worried that net neutrality will make it impossible for them to reach users – despite the fact that most of them use YouTube to deliver the content. And, as I said above, if net neutrality rules decrease investment they hamper efforts to close the digital divide, harming already marginalized and disadvantaged communities.

The most frustrating of these stories, which relates back to the innovation theories above, is that there is a pervasive belief that net neutrality is needed in order for entrepreneurs to enter the market. The concern is that ISPs would charge start-ups a prohibitive amount in order to get access to ISPs’ customers on terms sufficient for start-ups to compete with firms such as Google and Netflix. This is tragic because almost all of today’s big content providers – the Googles and Netflixes – have invested massively in “content delivery networks.” These are networks that allow their content to bypass almost the entire Internet, dramatically improving performance. In other words, they have already paid for prioritization – they just haven’t paid ISPs for that competitive benefit. Start-ups don’t have access to (or need to pay a pretty penny for access to) services such as these. Allowing ISPs to charge for prioritized performance would give start-ups a lower-cost alternative to CDNs that could give them a competitive advantage (or help remedy a competitive disadvantage). The reality is that most start-ups don’t need that sort of performance assistance (so would not be harmed) – but those offering complex-enough services would have access to a valuable new offering.

It also must be noted that for many (most?) people net neutrality is about regulating ISPs. ISPs are reviled. They are known for bad customer service, they always seem to be too slow, they cost too much (especially bad since they’re mere middlemen, not providing anything of value – just access to content providers’ things of value), and when anything on the Internet isn’t working it’s their fault (e.g., if Netflix is down, users blame their ISP, not Netflix). In this context, “net neutrality” is about “having the FCC regulate Comcast so it will have better customer service and I’ll have someone to complain to when Comcast raises its rates.” Never mind that net neutrality has nothing to do with this. This is why many people are in favor of Title II, utility-style, regulation for ISPs. We don’t like ISPs so we should regulate them; end of story.

The last comment that I will make is how I think about this entire issue: it’s just the latest example of a fight between bilateral media oligopolists. “Big content” and “big distribution” have always fought over how to split the rents they extract from consumers, users have always distrusted distributors, and content providers have always used this to their advantage. From this perspective, the net neutrality rules are pure rent seeking by a content/edge industry that had largely captured the previous FCC.

Originally Found On: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2017/11/28/one-law-professors-overview-of-the-confusing-net-neutrality-debate/

#Law #Lawyer

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mystudioflow-blog · 7 years

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My Recording Studio Journey pt.1 (#mystudioflow)

I spent all of my teenage and adult life writing, producing and recording my own hip hop music treating it like a hobby although I claimed I would earn my living with it one day. In 2010 at around 30 years old after years of talking the talk and thinking I knew it all. I started to realise I was wrong. I had to start being honest with myself after I went and recorded with a local producer who was much further along than I was. He was working in Pro Tools, had a much better mic and a real outboard mic pre (UA710). Whereas I was working with outdated software and had no Idea what Plugins were, how to tune vocals or dial in a compressor. When I left his house I was driving home listening to the song we did. At first I was very excited about the pop sound with my vocals tuned and a decent rough mix…. even though up until that day I was ANTI-auto tune and hated modern pop music! After playing it on repeat for about 20 minutes my mood started to change. I started to get this indescribable gut wrenching feeling. All I could think was that he was five or six years younger than me and he was leaps and bounds past where I was with my craft. He was charging $40.00 an hour producing and recording for people in his apartment and I wasn’t getting any respect or making any money because my final product sounded like GARBAGE in comparison to his. As the days passed I started bugging out and feeling depressed.

After about a week of pondering on these thoughts and tormenting myself I came to a conclusion. I was going to need to either go ALL in on music production and engineering or I needed to just quit because I felt like a joke. Considering the fact that music and studio life was always how I identified myself and I felt so overwhelmingly passionate about it. I decided there was only one option….GO ALL IN!!! First I reached out to the guy I recorded with and asked him what mic and pre amp he had. I told him I was going to get some new gear, Pro Tools and some plugins so I could start making a living doing what I love like he did. He got quiet for a moment and responded by saying “Going and buying the gear I have isn’t going to make you as good as me”……… I took it well and stayed cordial on the phone but all I could think was “Oh yeh?!? Watch me mother effer!! WHATCH ME!!

My next step was to try and convince my wife to let me spend a few grand on some of the gear and software I needed to start working towards making a living in my own studio. After a considerable amount of debating I was able to convince her to give approval on a Guitar Center card to get the ball rolling. I also sold my 1988 IROC Z Camaro, my booming system and all the crappy equipment I had in an effort to raise money for some new gear. My first burst of purchasing went like this. i3 iMac, Pro Tools 8, Waves Native Power Pack, UA610 mk2, Sterling Audio st69 mic (yuk) and a pair of Dynaudio monitors. Oh yes and I also bought auto tune. I got all the equipment hooked up and software installed. Then the long road of learning and troubleshooting could really begin! I had been mixing all my own projects for years leading up to this but still didn’t really have a good understanding of mixing and mastering. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Over the next year or so I was layed off from work and home during the day with 2 babies trying to learn audio engineering while being Mr. Mom. I would wake up in the middle of the night and end up in my basement studio watching You Tube videos and franticly researching trying to learn my craft. I was reading books for the first time in my life!! I was going to Barns And Noble to escape my family and read all the audio magazines for free. About 2 years after my BIG decision to go all in on learning my craft we moved our family of four from Connecticut to Cape Coral, FL . This is where my wife is from and where we met years before. Shortly after arriving in Florida a friend at work recommended that I put an add on Craigslist as a home recording studio. That evening I sat down and did just that! It only took a few days and I got my first call which turned into my first steady client… A Christian Rapper. I was so excited and full of nerves for the first few sessions considering I had only recorded myself and a few friends up until that point and had never really charged much money. I was making $8.00 more per hour in my home studio than I was making at my day job doing strenuous physical labor. This was when my bad attitude towards my day job life began to escalate rapidly. I spent about a year recording with ten to fifteen clients before I decided to go take an audio engineering class at Vibe Recording in Ft. Myers, Florida. I felt I needed to go fill in the blanks with some formal education so I could gain the confidence needed to open my own commercial recording studio. This had been my dream since my first time in a real studio at 18 years old. I actually have an earlier memory of my uncle who was the lead singer in a band that took me to his friends house who had a recording set up. He had a tape machine, microphones and a mixing board. I was about 6–8 years old and all I can remember is how floored I was. I vividly remember being very excited that they could actually record music in their basement and play it on a tape in the car!!!!! I also remember them telling me that all their equipment actually sucked and was not good quality. I was not phased by there negative comments about their crappy gear. I thought it was absolutely AMAZING! This is the same uncle (Uncle Med) who took me to my first concert when I was six years old…. Michael Jackson (BAD)!! All I know is that as far back as I can remember music was a GIANT part of my life and seemed to be what made me tic.

Ok Im loosing track of the story…

I started my classes and just fell more and more in love with the process of recording, mixing and mastering. I started engulfing myself with information. I had podcasts going all day (Pensado’s Place, Recording Studio Rockstars and Working Class Audio) as well as reading magazines and books. Along with the obvious late nights in my home studio with clients or working on my own personal productions sharpening my swords. I was spending as much time as a 40 hour working married father of three could at the studio where I took classes definitely pushing the limit at times and straining my home life. I was going to work from 7am to 3:30 or 4:00pm. Then Picking my kids up from daycare to take them home, cook them dinner and eat with the family. Then I would go straight from the dinner table to class. At the end of class I would always try to spend some extra time. Whether at the studio sitting in on sessions or at the local brewery with people from the studio. Talking music, audio and making relationships with like minded people some work nights I wouldn’t make it home till as late as 2am. Actually I was hanging around people that were smarter than me in many cases which really helped to speed up my progression. I finished the class never scoring below a 99% on any test or project which is funny considering I had ALWAYS been an F and D student growing up. I started assisting my teacher and mentor Chad Zuchegno on saturdays as well as attending the next round of classes religiously in many cases assisting in the classroom as well.

After about 3 months of assisting and attending my second round of classes I did an 11hr day helping at the studio. Doing everything from setting up the mics to getting coffees and emptying garbages (keep in mind I’m in my 30’s). At the end of the day Chad took me out for a beer and a cigar which was kind of the norm. Then as I sipped my first bear Chad looked up from texting with the other owner of the studio and asked me “Hey do you want to work a session at the studio on your own tomorrow?” This would be my first session at a real established commercial recording studio! Of course I said yes! As the evening progressed he proceeded to tell me some things I really needed to hear. He said “YOU DO BELONG in the studio”….. “YOU are already a GREAT engineer!”…. “This IS what your SUPPOSED to be doing”…. This my friends was a pivotal point for the future of my life. On my ride home that night I remember having the windows down, loudly playing my own work and letting out shouts of extreme happiness “WOOOOOOOO YEEEESSS!!!! I DID IT!!! I AM DOING IT!!! I CAN EFFING DO IT!! WOOOOHOO”.

To be continued………….

#recording studio #audio engineering #musicprodution #songwriter #mixingmusic #beatmaker #makingmusic #diy audio

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tumblunni · 7 years

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Man its so weird to think back and see how many signs there were that I was transgender long before I realized it. I was SO fucking oblivious, I had no clue that being nonbinary was even an option, all I knew was 'well I don't wanna be the opposite gender but I don't wanna be the one I was assigned at birth'. (Except obviously I didn't even know the correct words to describe it) And like... I bought into A LOT of horrible transphobic bullshit, cos I was raised with a biased view of what being transgender even is. 'Trans-sexual people are turned on by wearing women's clothes'. Ugh. And I was completely disgusted by it, since I'm a sex repulsed asexual and everything about foreplay or whatever disgusts me. My parents and pop culture and stuff all treated it like trans people were the equivelant of someone into BDSM wearing nipple clamps out in public or something. 'Well in theory I have nothing against them having that kink, but why do they have to show it in public?' Being trans was ALWAYS only shown as 'oo kinky I like to crossdress in the bedroom', as if it was a fucking sexuality, as if there was NO OTHER REASON why someone would wanna wear the 'wrong' clothes and use the 'wrong' pronouns. I felt viscerally disgusted at myself whenever I didn't want to wear my birth gender's cliche outfits, I denied absolutely everything cos I didn't want people to think I was a pervert. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to be transgender and asexual, or even that being transgender wasn't the same as being gay! I said SO MUCH fucking horrible transphobic and homophobic stuff as a kid, just parroting what I was told, and overcompensating for hating myself by making it clear I hated everyone remotely similar to me. While being in huge denial that they were similar to me! And I'm gonna carry these regrets forever and always worry that I stopped someone else from feeling comfortable about theirself and just... GAHH! And I did all the same too about parroting stereotypes of 'crazy people' and 'r*tards' before I learned that this big ol stereotype about autism was bullshit and real autistic people look EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF It just makes me think a lot about how many other people out there might be trans and not have the ability to find out because they've been buried so utterly in this false, bigoted image of what a trans person actually is. Tho also I hate the dumb stereotype that 'all homophobes are secretly gay', like seriously wtf why u wanna escape all responsibility for your actions and say the only problem is gay people systemically oppressing THEMSELVES... ANYWAY I went off on a sad train of thought there but back to the point! I'm just remembering this one part of a school trip that was like one of my most treasured memories for no logical reason until I realised I was trans. I met a new classmate and he mistook me for the opposite gender, and I was like 'HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HAPPY' until someone else 'corrected' him. I mean.. I knew I wasn't that gender either, but it felt like a weight off my shoulders to at least be misgendered the opposite way for once. I felt inexplicably happy that I was looking ambiguous enough to even be in question! And this was when I was like 11, I had no clue what word to even assign to these feelings... And I mean, it was SO DUMB that I never noticed these signs! This is what internalized transphobia does to you! Like 'hey there's probably no reason at all why I always play as a different gender ever time I buy a pokemon game, and get this self hatey feeling in my gut when both options have very stereotypically gendered costumes'. And 'wow there sure is no reason why I got inexplicably attached to this genderless character and can't stop thinking about ways to prove they aren't real'. Seriously all that debate about 'quina is really a girl/boy' with weird evidence in stat builds and equip items and stuff! I got REALLY into that transphobic bullshit cos it was something that shook up my perception of the world and I felt like if not being either gender was ACTUALLY AN OPTION then id have to address painful things about myself. If I knew I could be that, I couldn't keep lying to myself. So I went in aggressive denial mode and missed this chance to come out of the closet at like 9 years old and save myself a damn lot of trouble! And then I just went through the same bullshit at 14 with Chrona from Soul Eater, and could not explain why on earth I was so upset that the English dub assigned them a random gender instead of translating it properly... And OH MAN how fucking dysphoric I was about puberty even before I knew that dysphoria was a thing! It was like 'hey look you're growing up!' 'NO IM NOT DEAR GOD NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN'. And that led to this stupid thing of me just saying 'well I have the mental age of a seven year old LOL' to excuse whenever I acted 'weird'. My forum avatar and stuff was a doodle of myself in chibi form, etc. (Even literally wearing chest binding... I only knee at the time that it was 'a martial arts thing' tho.) Like, I'd got all these messages that not wanting sex was 'childish' and not wanting my body to change was obviously 'immature', and when I was undiagnosed with mental illness and trying yo make up excuses for how I TOTALKY didn't have a mental illness, all I could say was 'ha ha I'm totally uhh... Doing it on purpose? Cos I'm so... Quirky?' I got obsessed with overacting as a class clown, cos I mean you can also excuse cross dressing as a thing that 'the comic relief character' does... And OH MAN, like my big Special Interest throughout all of high school was Norse myth, more specifically Loki. I was FASCINATED with the idea of a shape shifter who could be either gender, and was completely unashamed about it. And, of course, I used to play it off as 'ha ha isn't it so funny he turned into a girl', when I seriously did not have any clue WHY it was funny, I just thought I had to say it. It HAD to be the reason I was so sympathetic yo this character, right? Because he's A FUNNY JOKE?? And man then I got so obsessed with researching non gendered English pronouns from the 18th century and championing how they should totally come back into modern language and EVEN THEN I was in denial! It took until I played Magical Diary to realise 'well fuck I'm trans'. It took a game outright saying that these genderless pronouns arent just 'to be inclusive of both genders' but can be used for A THIRD GENDER, A GENDERLESS GENDER, A BOTH AND/OR NEITHER GENDER!! A game saying that this gender does exist in human beings, and EVEN THEN I took ages to be sure that it was really real and not just a fantasy thing that the game made up. I mean, quina was totally only genderless cos they're a magical creature, right? (Completely ignoring the fact that the other two members of that magical creature town are both male...) And just.... AAAAAAA I feel like I'm the human personification of that 'no Patrick, put it on the lid' meme No, you're trans. No, TRANS. Trans, bunni! TRANS!! This is what societal prejudices do to people. Even LGBTQ people usually grow up within homophobic, transphobic society, absorbing all the same messages. It destroys our ability to be okay with being ourselves... Its so fucking sad that this happened to me, and it hurts even more to think of all the times I said insensitive offensive stuff to other LGBTQ people back when I thought I was cis and straight... Gahhhh... ALSO, it makes me extra sad that Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 never got released in Europe. There's a character there called Arno who's NB and very out about it, and the English translators didn't make a mess of it, or anything. People actually call Arno 'they', and literally their catchphrase is 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'I'm just a child of the wind~' Like seriously NO ambiguity, character actually getting to dish out sick burns when being misgendered, absolutely NO room for the ol 'well they just don't MENTION a gender, it doesn't mean they were intended to be nonbinary' excuse. Arno outright stating 'I am not a boy, and I an not a girl'. And your protagonist respecting it! Arno is still my absolute fave best handled nonbinary character in all of games. And the summon night series is very inclusive with a lot of gay romance options! Its a shame tho that the only other game with a nonbinary character was never dubbed even in america. But apparently the protags of previous games get a cameo in the upcoming Summon Night 6 which finally will be released in Europe! I just hope they handle Corlal's pronouns respectfully, considering how they managed to do it so well a decade ago with Arno. But then again the Swordcraft Story series is a spinoff so the main games might have different translators? Anyway, let me hug my tiny enby dragon child! Also I'm sad the cellphone app trading card game never got dubbed either, cos Corlal got some cute cards for the valentine's day event. All three dragon kids just got adorable scenes making platonic family chocolate for their siblings cos they're too young to really participate. And they thankfully got super cute totally non-lolicon maid and butler outfits like SERIOUSLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! Just cute ten year olds playing dressup like normal kids. Corlal got two cards for that one! Them being nonbinary continues to be 100% canon, they got a version with both a dress and a tuxedo. AND ITS SO FUCKING CUTE MY GOD ...man I'm sorry this just went off topic into how great that series is But anyway! If I've ever said anything that offends you, please message me about it! I'm still unlearning a lot of internalized prejudice. Also if you want a quality nonbinary werewolf in a cool side scrolling GBA jrpg, look for Arno! Im on mobile rite now so I can't send links n stuff, but as soon as I finish moving my PC desk to the other room I shall spam you all with my obscure fandom's!!!

#i wanna draw quina and arno meeting each other #tho the protag in corlal's game is a chef so it could be hilarious if theyre like 'mom what happened to your face'#and then protag and quina have a giant death spoons duel

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