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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

#meta #derena #dair #date #anon #this is SUCH a gushy essay but like. what did you expect #how else could i have answered this #this took. an embarrassingly long amount of time #but i had SO much fun so #citations for my ships #don't mind me *whistles under my breath*

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13eyond13 · 4 years

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Misa for the character meme thingie?

Thx!

MISA:

My otp for them:

Misa and Light’s relationship is the funniest and weirdest one for me, but I don’t see it as an OTP in that I think it’s relationship goals for either of them. It’s just highly entertaining for me to watch because they’re ridiculously opposite, and she just wedges herself into his life as the most oddball addition to his snazzy little Kira squad

My brotp for them:

Rem and Misa. The saddest brotp of all time, but I can’t help but laugh at it. Not the lesbian rep I really wanted, but god if it isn’t an accurate depiction of having a hopeless crush on a mean straight girl ;__;

Any other ships:

I think she could be good with someone like Mogi in an AU where she was a little more mature, they were pretty cute together at times!

LxMisa because they have fun turbulent chemistry, but I like it as a ship where it’s just being childish idiots together and not actually falling in love

BxMisa, still very interested in seeing how they would actually get along

Also random and probably unpopular opinion, but I think she was kinda fun with Higuchi?? I know she wasn’t into him, but I thought they vibed weirdly well and that for the most part he was pretty nice to her on their date. And it’s not like she was a better person than he was or anything like that lol. They might be funny to couple up in an AU or something imo

Also, I bet she had the hots for Hideki Ryuga and that’s why she got all indignant when she had to kiss him during the movie shoot. He’s like rockstar Light without the brains, so she probably did not want to be tempted into unfaithfulness by him hahaha

Their best friend:

Rem was probably her only true friend, but Misa wasn’t much of a friend in return. Not that she ever asked for Rem’s friendship in the first place, though. Misa tends to spurn people who like her and devote herself entirely to the one who doesn’t care for her the most, which is kind of a recurring theme in DN. I guess in a certain way Light was her best friend, in that they lived together for years on end and made a pretty functional little pair in a weird way right up until his death

My favorite nickname for them:

Misa-Misa!

My favorite AU of them:

How about an AU where she gets developed outside of her obsession with Light a little more? Would be interesting to see a bit more other stuff about her life

My favorite outfit they wear:

I remember that I am gay every time I see her in that pink shirt with the heart window in the front

Defining color:

She wears a lot of black

Would I date them:

Haha I don’t think she likes girls, but if she’s as cute as everyone in the story says she is and she decided she liked me it seems like it would be very hard to say no

First impression:

I think she annoyed me a lot the first time I watched the anime because things were just heating up in the L and Light rivalry and then it was like BAM let’s interrupt things and introduce a whole new character! But when I got back into DN by rereading the manga a few years ago I was very amused by her in her first couple scenes of the story. She’s really fun to watch when she’s making Light stress out a whole bunch, I kinda wish she’d stayed a bit more like that the whole way through

Current impression:

I think she’s one of my favourite characters in the story now. Her shittiness always makes me lol, and I really like her design, and even though she annoys me at points and she was under-utilized in the second half I think she’s a great part of the story. And I really do feel sorry for her at times as well

Hogwarts House:

Slytherin probably

Which Pokemon starter they’d be:

Squirtle?? I have no clue lol

#misa amane #ask #anon #p #thx!

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death-note-manga-screencaps · 5 years

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L for all of them!

1: sexuality headcanon

He gives me bisexual vibes, maybe more interested in men than women but still keeps his options open

2: otp

WELL I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S OBVIOUS BUT LAWLIGHT, TONS AND TONS OF LAWLIGHT, I just enjoy their interactions a lot and the way they complement each other personality wise, they feel like heavy counterparts and like the trope of opposites attract each other but still they are similar in many ways, idk i love everything about them,what’s there to say about lawlight anymore when it’s one of the most popular ships of anime as a whole.

Maybe a ship him a bit with B too because i enjoy angsty ships and the way B feels about L has potential for good stories

3: brotp

I am very curious about the idea of Wedy, Aiber and him working together, they would be bros and i think they would agree with his rather unethical ideas, like partners in crime but fighting against crime in a way, i wanna know about their previous cases sooo bad so yeah, a three way brotp (fuck you light for killing them so horribly

4: notp

hmmm probably anyone of the taskforce, i have a bunch of notps hahaha i tend to ship characters heavily with one of two other people and pretty much dislike evrything else

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

He is a very passionate person, when he likes someone and he is completely sure about it he will totally give all his time to that person. He doesn’t ususally shows much emotion but you wait till he is in love and it’ll be a 180° change. He is very careful and surprises his partner with details and shit. I don’t think he would be veeery cheesy like with nicknames and stuff but he makes very straight forward compliments and expresses his love with 0 shame, he always gets his point across.

6: favorite line from this character

“EVERYONE, THE SHINIGAMI-” AHAHHA NO NO IM SORRY but for real, one of my favorite moments of DN is the rooftop scene, i feel like it added a lot of character to L, even if it wasn’t in the manga. More specifically:

just b e a u t i f u l and it’s like a final “fuck you” to Light because it is like he knows that he will die and that Light is going to kill him but there’s nothing he can do about it anymore so he just mocks Light making him know that even if he dies, he was the only one able to crack the mistery and see through his lies, just saying “i never gave into your lies BITCH”

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Look at him, a more accurate question would be “in what way i don’t relate to this character” and probably that would be in his perseverance? i tend to leave things unfinished

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

The way the anime sometimes pictures him, idk why they make him look so ugly when in the manga he just looks weird but never really ugly in way that his face looks out of proportion and shit. Oh and the whole scene when he sees Misa for the first time (when he gets Misa’s phone) it’s so cringyyy aaaaa the way he talks, his mannerisms, it was almost painful to watch him so out of character hahaha

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

Problematic fave all along, he is an ass but i love him so much

#death note #ask #l lawliet #13eyon13

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moonlight-shadxw · 7 years

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FanFic : DN -Yagami/Mikami.

Hello ! So this fanfic is based upon the drawing I have made a while ago.

I have been encouraged to write it so ...here I am !

I hope you enjoy it !

--------

Mikami had always believed in his own sense of justice. People were either wrong or right. They were either evil or good. There was no in between, no grey, it was just black or white. He developed this maturity at a very young age, bearing the idiots he had to fight every day to make justice reign. Who would understand him? Who would understand that evil needed to be erased for peace to reside and fill people’s hearts, and finally bring the smile back to their faces?

Was he the only one to believe in that? Was he the only one in the world to want this to end? Was he the only one who owned this mind that could make the difference between right and wrong, which functions properly? Were people this blind, stupid and careless? Did they know where this world was going? He had been waiting for one sign, only one sign to know that he was being watched, that his prayers were being heard, one sign for him not to lose hope.

“God...” he whispered to himself, on the day of his mother’s funeral.

“It was you...You...You’re there, You’re watching over me...All my life...I thought you didn’t exist...”

He had to forget about his past, or better...use his past to become a stronger person. He’d go to the gym, twice a week, so he’d be able to defend himself properly against any physical aggression. He’d become a prosecutor, so he could convict suspects with murder and try to bring justice first on a small scale, aiming for the big scale. One day, he’ll bring order to earth. One day, Justice will prevail.

And so the deadliest weapon ever found has been given to him. Was this just a coincidence? Of course not. Kira, God...he was the one he had been waiting for all his life.

“A notebook that can end people’s lives...God...Among all the people, you have chosen me to hold your power? You’ve recognized me? You’ve shared your power with me...!! Thank you ! I will only make good use of it ! I will make you proud, I’ll fulfill your desires !”

However, God turned out to be a regular human. He was no God, he was only someone who held a godly power given to him by death Gods that he could share with anyone he found worthy of it. How disappointing...A God can’t be a mortal. And since both of them were equal in power and cleverness, there could be only one of them. Only one ruler of the world.

“And that would be me...Yagami Light...I don’t believe that there is room for two of us. And obviously, since I am more experienced than you in this field, I should have this role. Soon, the police will have their hands on you. Say Goodbye to the world you thought was yours.”

The plan was simple. He had been preparing this for months. The only mistake Light had made was to give his trust to a stranger. No matter if they resembled one another, how on earth could he guarantee that he wouldn't be betrayed? Mikami held the notebook, he had the power to kill. Light had no way to escape. Since he had proof, the prosecutor could easily do his job. Without anybody noticing, he had done the job of a secret agent : Gathering proof here and there, notes given to him or Takada, recorded voice messages, emails...all from Yagami Light. But he was also supposed to give proof without being suspected himself...And that’s when he had a genius idea : convince the father.

“That’s easier than I thought...if I tell the father Yagami about all the proof I have gathered and show them to him, he would finally accept the fact that his son is Kira. Though since everyone has already suspected him before, this would all end up in him wanting to end both his and his son’s life. And since nobody would have seen me talking to the Chief, the blame would be put on Souichiro and Souichiro only. The excuse would be that he was just too pressured, and if the police wants to investigate, I’ll keep the proof of Light’s handwriting on the notes just by his side. So when they’ll find both of them dead, they’ll assume Souichiro had found out that his son had written names in the notebook which led to the murder of his son and his own suicide.” He joined both his hands and cackled maniacally. This had no reason to go wrong. And if anybody finds out about him talking to the Chief, he’ll just kill them using the Shinigami eyes.

Since it was all planned, the day had come to go meet Mr. Yagami. He knew that on his day, he’d be out of his office to finish some business. That was his only chance to get and talk to him. Luckily, Souichiro stopped at a local cafe to get some coffee. The tiredness was clear on his face.

“Amazing.” Mikami thought. His mind wouldn’t allow him to think properly and make him ask himself how did he get this. Well, he was probably gonna deny everything at first, but Mikami had an amazing power of conviction.Child’s play. The dark haired man slowly advanced until he was a few meters away from the prey. He’d suddenly walk a bit faster and cause himself to hit Souichiro on the shoulder, making him drop his cup of coffee, and Mikami the papers he wanted to show him.

“I’m so sorry.” The Chief apologized although it wasn’t his fault, and bent down to get the papers Mikami had dropped on purpose. That was weird...did he just read -Yagami Light- and -Kira- on the same paper?....No, his mind was surely playing tricks on him.

“i’m sorry, sir ! I-I wasn’t paying attention...I was just in a hurry...I really need to go see the police...I have something really important to show them...”

“uh...I’m...What do you need to show them?” Wasn’t that man on TV? Teru Mikami?

“This is about the Kira case. I know who Kira is, and I have proof.”

Souichiro’s heart would skip a beat. Staring into Mikami’s eyes, he somehow knew that this would be about his son. Could it be...that ...

“I work with L. This is my ID, you can show these to me.” He shouldn’t have said that out loud, but he was sure he had read his son’s name. And he felt it. He felt it. He knew he had to hear what this man had to say. And if he turned out to have proof enough to arrest Kira, this would be the end of him. The Chief raised his ID and handed it to Mikami for him to believe him. Mikami would reply with a nod.

“Well then...Sir Yagami...I’d rather we discussed this somewhere else. Since I know I can finally talk about what I’ve been hiding for a while...” He got his face closer to Souichiro’s ear and whispered “I spoke with Kira...”

Souichiro felt as though he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted his suffering to end. NOW.

Both of them went away from the crowd and found a spot where they couldn’t be seen or heard. Mikami would sit down and invite the stressed out Chief to do the same. He scattered the papers he was holding in front of him on the floor, and some tapes right next to them.

“Sir Yagami...I am sorry to announce you this...but-”

and before he could continue his sentence, Yagami had already anticipated the ending. ‘Your son is Kira.’

“D-Don’t. Just don’t you dare accuse my son. He had been proven innocent, I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to know anything about this anymore.”

“Sir...Please let me continue.”

The Chief started to lose patience, and a sweat drop slowly went from his forehead down to his nose. “w-what are you...How do you...”

“There is no time for such questions, sir. I’ll reply to you later on.” Of course he didn’t intend to reply. His only purpose was to show all that he had to show and make him believe that his son was Kira. If Souichiro got to ask the questions he wanted to ask, he’d be doomed. One more thing, he could easily decide to just kill Light and Souichiro by writing their names down. But that wasn’t what Light deserved. He deserved to see the disappointed face of his father that has been betrayed by his own son. Light had to pay for making his family suffer by being killed by his own family. Mikami had nothing to pay. He had lied to no one. He had manipulated no one. That’s why he deserved to be God. That’s why this was how Light had to die. “I believe you had seen me speak on television. I was kinda agreeing with Kira, Right?...This was part of my plan. Iv’e got in touch with Kyomi Takada, and she turned out to have contact with Kira himself. One day, they were both together, and I had been calling Takada to ask her when we could see each other. And then, she said “Kira”...! She was talking to the person that was with her at that moment. I asked why she called Kira out of the blue, and since we’re very close and she couldn’t lie to me, she told me that Kira was present in this room. Of course, I demanded to talk to him, because I had always wanted to see him and have secretly been chasing him.” Souichiro was recalling the Task Force telling him about the same story. However, he knew that the one who was talking to Takada on that day was his own son. He was just about to ask a question, his whole body starting to shake, when Mikami stopped him by continuing the story. “I spoke to him, and told him I had admired him for years..I asked for a name, but he replied with something else, and I assumed that this conversation was being witnessed by the police. But I wanted proof that he was Kira and not just an imposter, so I demanded to meet him. And he agreed. A few days later, we met with Takada’s company. He told me his name, where he worked, how many roles he was playing, and showed me his weapon.... it was a black notebook, a Death Note, you know about that, right?”

“Another notebook?! But the Death Note-”

“Is with the police?! I guess Kira had been lying to all of you since the beginning, Chief Yagami...He had been manipulating every single one of you and pushing you deeper in that hole that he was digging for all of you to fall into.

Here, look, these are the notes Kira has sent to me, has sent to Takada...Here, these are copies of the emails he had sent me...” of course he had edited the emails. He only kept Light’s email address that his father would surely recognize and edited the text into something Kira would tell to one of his followers. “And here...This is the conversation of your son and I that I have secretly recorded...the first conversation ever that we had...yes, Souichiro Yagami...your son is Kira...”

Each proof given to him was just like a knife cutting his neck slowly, deeper and deeper. This was torture. He was reading his son’s handwriting, he was seeing his son’s email address and way of talking, he was hearing his son’s voice in the recording...the same one that he had heard back there at the HQ’s...Was this a joke?! It was a setup, right?! How could someone like this have so much information?...Or, how would someone like his son be KIRA? Could it be true that he had been such a hypocrite?!

“No, no, no...” Yagami shook his head. “This is false. This is fake.You’re a fraud. My son isn’t Kira. My son Isn’t Kira ! He is not ! I have raised him right, he is a good person, he is just like me ! and..He has been proven innocent !”

“Sir...The 13 days rule is fake. Not me.”

And that’s when he stopped. The 13 days rule...This was what convinced everyone that Amane Misa and Light weren’t guilty...Was that man honest then..?

“Here’s the thing. That’s where Light wrote me and asked me to write the fake rule at the end of the book.” He pointed at the paper, and made him read it carefully. Of course it was a fake one as well. The one to write it was Ryuk.

“It...It can’t be...This is not possible...Not my son...Not my son...Not my son, Please...”

“It’s just the truth...I’m sorry Sir, But the truth hurts. I will never understand your pain...but...I’m sorry again to tell you this...but Yagami Light is Kira...”

The last words Mikami said were enough to shatter his old heart into thousands of little pieces. This was it. The proofs were enough. Everything made sense now. Everything... He had to accept the truth. However, he wouldn’t be able to live with it. He’l never be able to live with it. How is it possible? Did he really raise a murderer? Was it all his own fault? How did he mess up? How did he make his son turn into a massive murderer?...

“P-Please...Can I have all of this? I will show it to the rest of the Task Force...you...Your help is very much appreciated...”

Mikami could hear the crack in Souichiro’s voice. He could hear that he was already dead inside. He had failed both as a cop, and as a father.

“Alright...Thank you for listening to me, Sir Yagami. And I’m so sorry that it is your son. I’m so sorry...” ‘that your son is such an idiot that would cause a poor man like you that much suffering.’

Yagami would only nod, holding all the proof in his hand and hiding them in his coat. He was shaking, not only because he was devastated, but also because he was filled with rage. Mikami would cock his head left and smile, watching as the Chief disappeared in the crowd. ‘Tomorrow in the news, You’ll be on TV...Light. Not because you were a hero, but because you were a liar. L is dead, all the obstacles are out of the way. Soon the judgment will start again, and people will recognize their one and true God. I will be the one to bring order. You’ll be the one who would have caused the death of your own, poor and innocent father. Farewell, Yagami Light.’

As Mikami held a monologue in his mind, Souichiro headed back to the HQ’s. Everything he needed were on him : All the proof needed, and a gun. He was walking fast, his hands balled into fists, his lips trembling and his breath accelerating as he was getting closer to his son. He wouldn’t say anything. He grabbed Light by the wrist and pulled him away dragging him until he got them both locked in a room. Aizawa and Matsuda had heard Light yelling and asking his father what he was doing. They would suppose that it was just a problem between father and son.

Soon, Souichiro would be breaking down in front of his son.

“Why did you lie to me?! Why did you do this to me?! How could you?! What did I do wrong to you? How have I harmed you in any way? What did I do to deserve such a heartbreak?! My son, My own son that I have raised to be one of the best, turned out to be the worst criminal that I’ve ever chased?! Tell me Light, tell me please what was I supposed to do to make you happy?! Weren’t you content with what you had?! If you weren’t, why didn’t you talk to me directly...we could have sorted this out together, but instead, you decided to take your anger out on the whole world?! Light, I am your father ! I am your damn father...why would you...”

Light stared blankly at his father. If he was reacting like this, the only way would be that he had been convinced about the idea.

“father..”

“Don’t you dare say that you are not Kira ! I have enough. I have heard and seen enough. I refused to believe them, because I loved you. I trusted you. I raised you for God’s sake...When did it went wrong?!”

“Dad...! Just let me explain !...Please !”

“Shut up ! Who are you?! Who the hell are you?! You’re not my son, you’re not the little boy that I thought was all my life...You’re not the fruit of the Love of your mother and I...Who are you...” Tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t hold them in no more. He was done for it.

“Father...I am...I am Kira...”

As soon as the confession had been said, the Chief was now damn sure that his son was a monster. Could it be that Souichiro held in himself a monster that he passed on to his son without knowing about him?...There was no time to think anymore. He took the gun out of his coat, and before Light could have the time to object, and although Souichiro had never killed anybody in his life, he pulled the trigger for the first time in his life and shot his son right through the head.

The sight of the blood dripping down Light’s once bright face was enough for him to point the gun at himself, close his eyes and pull the trigger for the last time in his miserable life, for him to never open them again. This was all a dream. This was all a dream and he would soon wake up. He would soon wake up at home, surrounded by his wife and two children that he loved more than anything. He would wake up, happier than ever, and watch his son grow to become just like him. He would watch him become the greatest detective in the world, and become better than he is. Unfortunately for him, this was only a dream, and his life was a living nightmare. His son was Kira, he was the father of Kira, and they were both lying dead on the floor in a puddle of the blood that they both share.

God was dead.

He was replaced by a new one.

The news had been spread,

as soon as both bodies had been found.

Everyone had been shocked by the news, except one that had been waiting for this for a long time. He’d smirk, fix his cravat and walk away from the crowd, followed by Ryuk who mumbled how interesting humans could be.

Mikami would raise his head up to the sky, eyes filled with determination and pride.

“Everything went according to plan...”

-The end.

#yagami Light #light Yagami #death note #desu noto #death note fan fiction #Teru Mkami #Mikami Teru #touta Matsuda #shuichi Aizawa #soichiro Yagami #yagami #yagami soichiro #ryuk #shinigami ryuk

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dust2dust34 · 7 years

Text

Pieces of Always: May 2015 (FICoN ‘verse)

Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows.

by @so-caffeinated (and @dust2dust34)

Summary: Oliver and Felicity take another step toward a future of their own making. And little baby Jules is adorable.

An ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. (You do not need to have read FiCoN to enjoy this, but it will spoil the end. Please see the first installment for additional author notes. Thank you @jsevick and @alizziebyanyothername!)

A/N: Please see the first chapter for an important Author’s Note, as well as under the cut for an additional one.

A/N: The effervescent @so-caffeinated is fully in the driver’s seat and she’s kicking all the ass, so please go send her your love!

(read on AO3)

May 2015

All the baby websites say that Jules shouldn’t be rolling over or sitting for at least another month, but they clearly underestimated Julianna Queen. When their infant sets her mind to something, there’s no dissuading her. Oliver figured that out about his baby girl pretty much instantly. She’s stubborn. And, while he’s sure that’ll be a little less endearing when she’s going through the terrible twos or when she’s a teenager, it’s absolutely adorable right now.

He gets back from patrol - a light one, low risk, as it’s their first one back in months - to find his baby camped out in the ‘pack-and-play’ his mother had bought for the lair. She’s on her belly making frustrated little grunting noises as she reaches for the many toys she’s tossed out of her own reach. Her little brow is furrowed as she focuses intently on her goal - a bright red teething toy shaped like an apple.

Felicity hasn’t noticed his arrival yet - though she surely knows he’ll be back any minute now and that Digg and Lyla have already gone home for the night. She still has her eyes locked on the computer screen and she’s talking in a soothing voice at Jules as her fingers fly over the keys.

“..and that’s how you execute a DoS attack, Julie-bug. The servers overload and go ‘BOOM.’ Not in like, the physical sense. There’s no explosions, except the data kind. You know what? I’m gonna just explain this better when you’re a little older. Maybe we work on mastering you saying a word first, okay? I am gonna suggest ‘mama’ but you go ahead and pick. Totally your choice.”

She sounds like herself, like the woman he fell in love with a year ago. Or... okay, more than a year ago, quite honestly, but that was when everything had come to light. A year ago today, in this very spot, a tiny little girl with his eyes, soft blonde curls, and a smile that could light up his whole life changed absolutely everything. It’s been full of ups and downs since then. Having Jules and losing Ellie. Meeting his son and watching his sister cope with what was done to her by Slade and Isabel. Building a life together with the woman he loves and watching her struggle with crippling depression after their first daughter was born. Life isn’t perfect. It can’t be. But he loves where he’s at these days and he has hope for the future, which is a whole lot more than he could have said not all that long ago.

The marked improvement in Felicity’s spirits over the last week have helped a lot. There’s no quick-fix for mental illness - not any more than there is for physical injuries and he knows full well how long that kind of recovery time can take - but she’s finally on the right path. And knowing that, seeing it, feels like it’s healed something in him, too. He’d missed her when things were at their worst. It had felt like she wasn’t even there and he hadn’t understood at all what was going on. But now… now that he knows, now that she’s finally doing better, it’s like she’s come home, come back to him, and he’s so grateful that he just stops and stares and lets it wash over him sometimes.

Like now.

Like this very moment while she coos about coding to their not-quite-four-month-old as she finishes up the tail end of today’s mission for Team Arrow.

Except for their baby girl and the pack-and-play, it could be a year ago, two years ago. He’s still the Arrow and she’s still watching over him, guiding him through his journey and supporting him. They’re still them. They’re just also better.

“Just one more minute, Julie-bug,” Felicity promises, making a slight huff of annoyance as she does something Oliver can’t begin to understand on the computer. “They’ve got a backup DNS, sneaky buggers, but mommy’s got this taken care of.”

Their daughter’s patience is about at the end of its rope, though, and she has no interest in waiting for her mother to be done. The baby is quickly turning red faced with frustration and working herself up. Oliver can practically hear the coming wail of annoyance. So, he sets his bow down and heads over to the makeshift crib, scooping up both Jules and the teething toy. She settles immediately, stuffing the toy into her mouth and gumming at it fiercely. She has yet to cut her first tooth, but based on the way she’s gnawing on the teething toy, Oliver’s pretty sure that’s coming up sooner rather than later. After a moment, she pauses and looks up at him. As if realizing for the first time who is holding her, her face splits into a huge, drooly grin and she reaches with her free hand for his mask.

She hasn’t seen him in it before - he and Felicity haven’t been back in action until today - but it seems like she thinks they’re playing a tremendous game of peek-a-boo. Her little fingers slip behind the edge of his mask and pull it down. She lets loose a riotous laugh when she sees the familiar face of her father revealed from behind the strip of fabric and she tries to put it back and play the game again.

It figures.

The whole city hadn’t known him with little more of a disguise than a hood pulled low and some grease paint, but his little girl knows him on sight at all of three-and-a-half months old. She’s clever, perceptive. She’s her mother’s daughter and she takes his breath away from him every day, in a million different ways.

“Are we playing a game?” he asks her as she pulls with all her might against his mask. Her nails scrape at his cheek - they’re small, surprisingly sharp little things; he’ll need to cut them soon - but that’s the only battle wound he’s gotten today and he can’t mind because his little girl is just reaching for him. He pulls her hand away and kisses her fingers before pressing his nose to her neck and leaving noisy kisses that send her giggling again. He hasn’t had much exposure to babies since Thea was an infant, but he’s quickly found that he loves this stage of babyhood his daughter’s in. Her increasing awareness and interactiveness every day makes it seem like every single moment deepens the bond between them.

Laughter or not, she isn’t distracted from her teething toy for long and she whines a little, pushing his face away with her baby claws before stuffing the cold, squishy plastic apple back into her mouth. There’s a frustrated whimper from her as she gnaws furiously and rests her head against his shoulder. Poor little thing. They should keep some baby tylenol in the lair, he decides. Their medicine cabinet clearly isn’t stocked for infants and, even with all the injuries he’s sustained over the years, he finds he can’t stand the sight of his little girl suffering the pain of cutting a tooth.

“I’ve got you, sweet girl,” he tells her quietly as she looks up at him. She’s drooling on his jacket, but he doesn’t even pause to wipe it off. “You’re okay, Julie-bug.”

She reaches up for his face again, little fingers gripping his mask and pulling it clean off. Obviously, the fun of peek-a-boo is gone and she is no longer a fan of her father’s face being obstructed.

That… or she wanted a new teething toy.

His mask winds up stuffed in her mouth before he can stop her, drool running down the strip of fabric. Of all the ways he’s considered being unmasked, exposure by teething toddler had never been one of them.

“Is that tasty?” he asks her, trying to pry it away from her but giving up the moment she protests with a noisy grunt of annoyance. It’s not worth it. She’s not gonna hurt herself and his mask will recover. If she gets a bit of comfort from it right now, that’s fine by him. “It doesn’t look tasty to me, Julie-bug.”

She clearly disagrees, gumming at the strap as hard as she can as she stares back at him with those wide blue guileless eyes of hers.

“Oh, that can’t possibly be good for her, can it?” Felicity asks, drawing Oliver’s attention to his girlfriend. She’s just a few feet away, wincing at the way Jules is making a mess of his mask. “Or for your mask, for that matter. I mean, infant-sized gum-prints might be a bit of a giveaway. We don’t really want the city realizing that their superhero is a superdad too, do we?”

“Probably not,” he admits, his heart surging a bit at being called a ‘superdad.’ He’s not sure that’s a title he deserves yet, but he’ll keep striving to earn it. His kids deserve that from him and he refuses to let them down. “But, even if it isn’t the best idea, there’s a part of me that wouldn’t mind. I’m always gonna be proud to be her dad. And to be your partner. That’s true whether I’m wearing a mask or not. It always will be.”

“Oh,” Felicity says. Her eyes water up and she presses a hand to her mouth, obviously affected by his words. That happens easily these days. They’re still fine-tuning the medications and, at times, she’s a touch over-emotional, but he’ll take that any day over the vacant looks she’d been giving everyone all the time just a month ago. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she says, fanning her face as she tries to keep herself from crying.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Felicity,” he tells her gently, soothing a hand up and down her upper arm. “Not for how you feel. Not ever.”

“I know,” she nods. It’s too fast and overly forceful, like she can’t stop herself, but he just smiles and pulls her closer, sandwiching Jules between them as he holds on to his little family. “I know,” she says again. “I just… when you say things like that…”

He waits for her to continue, but she doesn’t. He pulls back a little to see her visibly working to hold in whatever else she’d been going to say.

“‘When I say things like that’ what?” he prompts.

She loses the war against her own words a moment later, blurting out “When you say things like that I just really want to marry you, okay?”

Oliver freezes, blinking at her like he’s sure he heard her wrong as his heart races with an adrenaline-fueled thrill. “What?” he asks in a barely-spoken, breathy question.

“I’m sorry,” she scrambles, trying to step back. He can’t find words, but he holds her tighter. “Or, not sorry, because you like just told me not to apologize. But things are good. They’re great. I don’t mean to be pushing or making you feel like this isn’t enough. It is. It totally is. And I told myself I wouldn’t bring it up for at least another year, because even if we have a daughter and we’re living together, it’s not like we’ve been together that long and I-”

“You think you’re pushing me?” he asks in astonishment, because that’s the part his mind is stuck on.

“I… yes?” she asks, sounding wildly uncertain all of a sudden. “I mean… you haven’t brought it up at all and I just figured, when you were ready, that’d be a thing we’d… you know, have a conversation about.”

He wonders if he looks as slack-jawed as he feels.

“Julie, baby, I’m putting you down for a minute,” he tells the infant before placing her back in the pack-and-play. She doesn’t protest, probably because he leaves her the mask to keep chewing on.

“Oliver…” Felicity says, swallowing heavily and looking a little ashen. “We don’t have to talk about-”

“Hold that thought,” he tells her. “Please, honey, just… give me two minutes. Okay? Just two minutes.”

If this is where and how they’re having this conversation, he’s at least going to get this part right. She nods, looking completely uncertain and more than ready to start panicking, so he hurries as much as he can, running across the lair to where he left his jacket and rifling through the inside pockets before pulling out a small ring box and heading back over toward the love of his life.

“Felicity,” he says, taking a steadying breath once he’s finally in front of her. He lowers himself to one knee, right next to where Jules is noisily chewing away with the whir of Felicity’s computers in the background and his bow a few feet to the side. This isn’t what he’d planned. It’s not even close, but suddenly he can’t imagine anything better.

“...Oh…” Felicity breathes out, staring down at him owlishly as he takes her hand in his.

“You told me once that I love with my entire heart and that what other people thought didn’t matter because you knew the truth and Ellie knew the truth,” he tells her, running his fingers over her knuckles. “Do you remember that?”

“Yes,” she says. Her voice breaks and she stops to clear her throat. “That was right before you had to lie to the press and tell them you weren’t Ellie’s father.”

“It was,” he agrees with her. “I’d been in love with you for a whole lot longer than I’d been willing to admit before that. And, because of the way our lives have gone, we both knew what kind of future we could have together. But that was the moment I knew I wanted to marry you, Felicity. And I’ve felt that way every single day since then.”

Her fingers shake in his a little - or maybe that’s him… he can’t be sure - and her eyes water up as she sniffles, but she holds his gaze as she nods and he takes that as a cue to keep going.

“I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life, for the family we’ve started to build together. You gave me a daughter and took my son into your heart like he was your own. You look at me and you see the best parts of who I am. And you make me see those parts, too. You help me believe in myself,” he tells her. “Even when things are dark, even when they’re… even when they’re unimaginably hard, you’re right there at my side and I know we’ll get through whatever it is because we have each other. And I want to feel like that for the rest of my life, to know that whatever the future brings, we’ll have each other share the good times and the bad.”

“Yes,” she whispers, nodding and trying not to cry. She fails at that, a steady stream of tears spilling down her cheeks.

It’s one of the most exciting moments on his life - right up there with the birth of his daughter and the day he met his son - but he hasn’t actually asked her yet. And he’s not going to let the question go unspoken.

“Felicity Smoak,” he starts, a tremendous smile completely overtaking his face. He hasn’t even asked the question yet and he already knows the answer. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?”

She practically knocks him over as she crashes to her knees in front of him and kisses him furiously, breathing ‘yes’ against his mouth between every press of her lips to his. His heart is so light, so joyful that he feels like he could fly. He grips the little box, still unopened, in his hand as he holds onto his fiancee - god, but that sounds good, his fiancee - and kisses her back with all of the adoration and gratefulness that lives inside him. He could hold onto her forever. He intends to, actually. Though… maybe a little less literally than right now, something that becomes intensely obvious when Jules makes a loud noise of protest at being left out of whatever’s going on.

“Just a minute, baby girl,” Felicity tells their daughter, pressing her forehead to Oliver’s and looking slightly to the side. “Just let mommy and daddy enjoy this for a second, okay?”

“I’m going to enjoy it for a whole lot longer than a second,” Oliver replies, bracing his free hand against her back with his fingers splayed wide as he rubs the side of his nose gently against hers.

“Me too,” she agrees softly, leaning into him.

“Do you want to see the ring?” he asks.

“I’d marry you if it were made out of an ethernet cable, Oliver,” she laughs.

“That’d make a hell of a conversation piece at parties,” he chuckles. “Can you imagine the paparazzi?”

She wrinkles her nose up at that, leaning back slightly, but brushing her fingers up and down the sides of his neck like she can’t stand to stop touching him. He gets that. He feels much the same.

“They can think what they want, Oliver,” she tells him. “I’ve never cared about that.”

“I know,” he agrees. “But I’d still like my wife to wear something… a bit more exceptional.”

“Well… I mean, I’m not opposed to a bit of bling,” she grins, her eyes sparkling as she looks at him. “And now you’ve piqued my curiosity.”

It’s silly that he’s nervous about this. She’s already said yes, after all. But he really, really wants her to like the ring he picked out all those months ago. Or… well, he’d sort of picked it out months ago. There’s a lot more that’s gone into her ring than that.

“Do you remember last summer when I went to meet with my lawyers about the trusts we set up for Jules and Will?” he asks, swallowing hard and licking his lips.

“Sure,” she agrees readily, but clearly not seeing exactly where he’s going with this yet. “I went with a few times. There was a lot more involved than I’d thought.”

“There was,” he agrees. “And one of the times you weren’t there, the lawyers were going over the Queen family assets we’ve got stored away in safety deposit boxes.”

Felicity’s mouth drops into the cutest little ‘O’ shape he’s ever seen. She clearly thinks she knows where this is going. He’s pretty sure she’d be half right.

“I’d already been thinking about the kind of ring I wanted to get you,” he tells her. “None of the ones my family owned already were quite right.” She chews her lip and, if he’s not mistaken, looks a touch disappointed. He hopes he can more than make up for that, though. “But some of the stones were.”

“...What?” she asks, blinking at him in bewilderment.

“Felicity, we’re forging our own family together,” he says, brushing some loose strands of hair behind her ear. “My history is part of that, but it’s not all of it and it didn’t feel right giving you something that was just tradition with no bits of us involved.” He breathes out a steadying exhale and cracks open the box so she can see the ring. Her eyes go beautifully wide at the sight before her. “This has gems from both of my grandmothers’ engagement rings, but I made the rest of it myself.”

“You made this?” she asks, astonishment seeping through the cracks in her voice. “Oh my god, Oliver…”

He knows his work was good. He’d gone to a jeweler after finishing, getting their help in smoothing out the rough edges and cleaning it up a bit. But the design, the labor, that’s all his. And he’s intensely proud of everything he’s put into it and all that symbolizes.

“Yeah,” he agrees, taking the ring from its pillow and discarding the box on the floor as he slips the band on her finger. “No one else knows all the parts of who we are to each other, Felicity. How could they possibly make a ring that encompasses all of us?”

“Oh my god,” she breathes out again, staring at her finger. “Is this…?” she starts, pointing at the band itself instead of the diamonds.

“I melted down an arrowhead for the metal,” he says, proud to confirm her suspicions. “You’re not just marrying Oliver Queen. You’re marrying the Arrow, too.”

She rolls her eyes at that. “You’re actually one person, Oliver,” she tells him.

“That’s my point,” he replies, grinning. “That’s why all of those parts of me needed to be included in one ring. Because you see all of me. Because you accept all of me. I wanted this to symbolize that for us.”

“Oliver Queen… you are something else,” she murmurs in astonishment.

“So you like it?” he asks. She does. He can see that, but nerves surge up because she hasn’t actually said it yet.

“I love it,” she tells him, taking his face in both of her hands and locking eyes with him. “And I love you. All of you. Always.”

There are a lot of times he hasn’t been able to believe quite how lucky he is, but this takes the cake and he’s a little overwhelmed at the rush of emotion surging through him.

A loud, insistent cry from the side breaks through the moment of silence, a clear sign that Jules’ patience has reached its end and she wants to make her presence known.

“Your baby girl is telling you she loves you always, too, I think,” Felicity says, smiling hugely as she looks to Jules and stands up to retrieve the fussy infant who obviously does not want to be left out of whatever is going on. “Aren’t you, Julie-bug? You love your daddy, don’t you?”

She blows bubbles at her mother in response, but Felicity just laughs and sits back down next to Oliver with their daughter balanced in a mostly-sitting position against the crook of her knee, so that she can see them both.

This isn’t the beginning of anything. Not really. They’re already a family, already partners and parents. But it’s a stepping stone in their lives - a big one - and Oliver’s more than thrilled with the direction they’re headed. Together.

Reviews literally feed the soul and muse, so go send some love to @so-caffeinated!

#olicity #olicity fic #olicity fanfic #olicity fanfiction #olicitysquee #oliver queen #felicity smoak #julianna queen #forever is composed of nows #ficon #pieces of always #arrow #fanfiction #my fics #my fics: cowritten #so-caffeinated #dust2dust34

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rollertoasteroflife · 7 years

Text

These Things Are Fun Lets Give It a Go

Tagged by @katyaton heyyyyyyy!

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (…yeah I don’t know that many people...)

tagging: @deaded123 @showmethestarlight and if anyone that follows me wants to please do but you two are the only ones that actually reply to these things and I can’t be arsed to go through all of my followers when no one does them anyway :D

1. coke or pepsi: coke definitely

2. disney or dreamworks: oh god ummm i love disney cos that was my childhood but dreamworks have done some truly amazing films and they gave me how to train your dragon which i love far more than is probably normal...

3. coffee or tea: *whispers* both definitely both...I drink so much coffee and tea and currently green tea I’m probably 70% hot beverage at this point

4. books or movies: ah fuck. um I have to say finding a favourite book feels so much better than a favourite film but like I literally work in the film industry so I honestly love them too but yeah imma have to say books (that was really difficult D:)

5. windows or mac: windows cos it’s what i know

6. dc or marvel: um I’ve seen more marvel so I’ll say marvel but I’m not particular opinionated on the matter

7. xbox or playstation: I am abysmal at playing games so again not really my question. however i have finally worked out how to use my housemates xbox as a dvd player so woo

8. dragon age or mass effect: I don’t play them

9. night owl or early riser: Permanently tired pigeon here but more of a night owl.

10. cards or chess: Oh god um actually can’t choose because i grew up playing card games and i really love them but i have a massive sentimental personal thing about chess so yeah i can’t choose here

11. chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate what am I? dumb?!

12. vans or converse: Converse

13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: I do not understand

14. fluff or angst: um in like fic reading or my life?? because my favourite fan fics are often angsty ones but I get wayyyyyyyyyy too emotional about them and yet still tend to read them over fluffy ones. Yet in actual life my life has enough problems please cover me fluffy things i’m tired

15. beach or forest: beach because there’s sea but i fucking love forests so much!!

16. dogs or cats: Cats!! but puppers are great too!!!

17. clear skies or rain: Fucking rain I love rain!!

18. cooking or eating out: I really like cooking it’s what I resort to when I’m having issues with life not working out.

19. Spicy food or mild food: I don’t like massively spicy food but I will fight you over bland food so like somewhere between the two??

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: I only really started doing halloween like a couple of years ago but i do enjoy it (woo for fancy dress) but i do really love christmas!

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: cold definitely i hate the heat. It was 15 degrees c today (59 fahrenheit thanks google) and i was dying and complaining most of the day

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: Shapeshifting!!!!

23. animation or live action: Again with the whole job thing, live action but i love animated films too!!

24. paragon or renegade: eh?

25. baths or showers: i shower more often but my house doesn’t have a bath and i really miss it. also currently with my leg injuries i would love a bath because they ache so bad D:

26. team cap or team ironman: umm i don’t know?? I’m not gonna choose sorry

27. fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy but scifi is awesome!

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? if so what are they: Presume not that I am the thing I was - Shakespeare Henry V

The planets and heavens will move for you. - this is a quote from a poem @deaded123/ @breathingtheworldinwords wrote for me which is my favourite poem

I am constantly coming across quotes i want ot remember but i never write them down so yeah...

29. youtube or netflix: netflix

30. harry potter or percy jackson: Harry potter but am currently working my way through the percy jacksons series which i do enjoy and rick riordan is an awesome human!

31. when you feel accomplished: when i remember how far i’ve come from what i was and how hard i’ve fought to be where i am now. Also I once forgot what happened in a battle on an history exam so proceeded to talk about the battle of helms deep and cut the orcs and elves. I got 100% on that paper. ;)

32. star wars or star trek: star wars......it was my childhood and i love it so much

33. paperback books or hardback books: i do love me a good hardback but my paperbacks have kept me company for a long time

34. horror or rom-com: ummm i’m not great at horror but it depends so i’d probs watch the rom com and just be cynically sarcastic throughout...(the fact that i enjoy rom coms when i’m not great and actual romance annoys myself)

35. to live in a world without literature or music: that is just mean :P but i’d have to chose literature as my life is based around stories

36. pastel colours or dark colours: dark definitely!! other people look aweosme in pastels but i don’t like wearing them and honeslty just feel kind of suspicious of them as a colour group (i have no idea why i have such storng opinions on pastels or why i am suspicious...)

37. tv shows or movies: Tv shows as you go through so much more. Also it suits my attention span better

38. city or countryside: can i have like a town?? i love the countryside but i also need to be around other people or i get very morbid

39. if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: i don’t understand??i’m a leo and honeslty haven’t looked at the others enough to know the traits!

40. if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: i would currently choose one of sia’s albums as just yes

41. cinema or theatre: cinema because i love films but i do enjoy theatre

42. if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: hmmmmmmmm i honeslty don’t know as my favs are people like me but being around someone like me as a best friend is kind of an odd thought...pass?

43. smiling or smirking: smiling to me means just being free and comfortable to be happy and smirking in my mind is the silly little in jokes that tyou have with friends in the middle of a conversation or when you’ve thought of something inappropriately funny both of which i do a lot.

44. are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: all or nothing probably

45. playlists or your whole library on shuffle: shuffle because i’m too lazy to make playlists

46. travelling or staying at home: Travelling,but i like to have a base somewhere. but yeah i get bored of places easily and am not attached to anywhere as a ‘home’ as a concept i’ve never really got that feeling about anywhere? um it’s hard to explain so i’m just gonna stop cos i don’t know what my point is

47. books or fanfiction: both are literature and they’re both stories and i fucking love stories in all forms! right now i’m reading more fanfiction because when i need to work lets get lost in emotions about fictional characters right?! but seriously i have a bunch of favourite fanfics which i keep rereading and most are novel length so like not much of a difference!

48. If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: the chronicles of ixia world probably but like god there are so many that i’d want to be in!!

49. your favorite cartoon: um i don’t really watch that many cartoons... cacn i claim the Dragons tv series that accompanies httyd? it’s animated......

50. name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: um ok so i have a bit of a weird thing about my music in that i don’t like talking about it too much...i’m getting better but yeah i don’t want to answer this :)

51. mountains or plains: Mountains!!!!!!! they give me liiiiiiiiiife

52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): Yuri on ice is the first anime i’ve watched and honeslty have fallen in love with it and it has ruined my world right now (it’s what my anxieties are currently directed out instead of at my work which i’m cool with) and the only other one i’ve seen is ouran high school host club which i actually watched half of yesterday whilst working as a friend loves it, it’s amusing :)

53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: err i don’t really do social media much. i have facebook to talk to uni people, a couple of group chats with home people and it’s the only contact i have with my dad’s side of the fam as most don’t live in england but i don’t actually post anything except about work i’ve got donea dn funny photos of my friends. obvs i have tumblr which i overshare about myself way too much but this is probs a very accurate summary of my shit sense of humour, tv shows, and everything else in my head! though i do sometimes get concerned about my oversharing on here cos y’know internet safetyand all D: oh i have snapchat too but i mainly use it to talk to 2 friends one is in germany so i can’t ring her like i used to and the other we pretty much just send each other selfies with a lot of heart emojis! i’ve been debating getting instagram but haven’t decided yet...

54. What are some of your passions:anyone that knows me or reads my frequent oversharing will know i work in costume stuff so yeah i can literally talk about costuming and historic fashions for days and not get bored so yeha don’t ask about that unless you ready to learn!! ;) um i’m also an archery instructor, really love drawing, and just yeah the various tv, film and book obsessions that i go through (currently it’s yoi but i do try and keep my obsession from fully taking ove rthis blog-80% of it is still my shit sense of humour

55. Favourite food: I will fight everyone to get a proper roast dinner with yorkshire puddings and also chocolate.....and pomegranates.....and sugar snap peas......

This was fun!!!

#toasterrambles #katyaton #deaded123 #showmethestarlight

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weekendwarriorblog · 4 years

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30 Minute Experiment: Anger #30ME

So my last #30ME on Thursday was rather angry for pretty silly reasons. I just happened to wake up in a bit of a mood. Guess what? Today, I also woke up in a bit of a mood, and I’m still in a bit of that mood, but I had already decided to address “Anger” as my topic, originally for yesterday but something came up that I had to focus on... but thankfully, as Mark Ruffalo’s Dr. Bruce Banner said in The Avengers, “I’m always angry...”

That statement isn’t exactly true, and I’ve actually spent the last two months or so trying my best not to get angry about things. It might be no surprise that I’ve frequently had anger issues, not any that might lead to me going against my normally non-violent nature but definitely the type of anger that keeps people up at night stewing about things that they can’t do anything about.

A certain John Lydon sang the words “Anger is an energy” in the PiL song, “Rise,” and he was not kidding, because as hard as I do everything in my power to be angry or “in a pissy mood” as some might put it better, it’s something that I have a really tough time controlling. Anger just comes at me when I least expected, and no surprise, when I experience it, it puts me in an even worse mood. And even less surprise, it can make me a very unpleasant person to be around or to talk to. Just ask anyone who has tried whether it’s my mother or brother (Hi, Rob!) or sister ... and frankly, some of my better friends may not see it as much because part of the reason they’re friends is that they not only don’t piss me off or make me angry (almost ever) but they have something in their DN or personalities that helps make me less angry.

If you read my #30ME about “Mixed Emotions” or “Love,” you might be thoroughly confused since what I’m saying here might seem like the polar opposite to what I wrote in those essays. Welcome to the life of a moody Pisces.

Yeah, it’s getting harder and harder not to be angry these days, especially living in such an angry world, and that was even before the pandemic and quarantine. People have been angry for a very long time, and it’s almost impossible to spend any time on social media without experiencing it, and frankly, it doesn’t help me at all, especially if I want to be in the right mood to write stuff... and anger most definitely is not it, let me tell you.

In fact, part of me leaving my last regular assignment was that certain aspects of it which I won’t get into was constantly making me angry, and it left me no choice having to decide whether I wanted to write surrounded by such negativity all the time. I’m not even sure I was angry about what everyone else ir or was angry about it. Part of my anger just comes from being around so much anger. I just have this empathic nature that helps me feel greatly for others but it’s a two-handed sword where I end up absorbing others’ anger into myself if I spend too much time around it.

As someone who can rarely be happy and angry at the same time -- I’m very black or white like that -- it’s a constant struggle to try to be happy and in the right head/mood to write stuff and to interact with others, which I’m doing more and more via this laptop of mine than in person (for obvious reasons).

Because of this, it gets harder and harder to get out these moods when I do wake up angry. Believe me, I’ve been working extra hard in the last couple months not to get angry or fly off the handle, but it gets kind of tough when you’re dealing with stuff like the “mouse incident” i shared a few days ago or ongoing issues with my landlord, which i’m trying hard to not get angry about. (If you’ve read some of the Emails I got from him or what he was trying to do, believe me, you’d be angry, too!)

But more than that, there’s a lot of anger about the current state of the country and our government, and that’s something I try hard not to get angry about only because it’s such a frustrating thing that I don’t feel I am capable of doing anything about. I mean, the reason we have such an awful President right now is because so many people were angry about things that the LAST President did... and the people who picked that President were angry with the PREVIOUS President and it just goes back to the very beginning of the time. No one is happy with anything but when there’s an outlet or avenue for anger (like social media) then have at it!

(I should mention that I’m writing today’s #30ME listening to Tears for Fears’ Songs from the Big Chair, a long-time favorite that actually starts with a song called “Shout”... I wonder if the same song was written today, it would be called “Type in Caps.” Sorry, that was my obligatory stupid joke tangent for today’s #30ME.)

And yes, making jokes is one way I try to allay my own anger and keep from being in a constant fuming range. So is listening music. I know these things from living with this moody ass soul for so many decades that I can kind of figure out ways of not being angry all day long. Even doing this writing can help, so skipping a day like I did yesterday to pursue what ended up being a fruitless effort, isn’t gonna help my anger the next day.

The weather doesn’t help either, like the fact that it’s suddenly 20 degrees over a week into May when most of us would rather be outside or at the movies, neither of which aren’t allowed with strict regulations. Oh, and it’s too cold outside, too.

I’m gonna stop myself right here because I’m well aware how angry and ranty my previous #30ME was about “Free Advice” and I’m trying hard not to just use this experiment for 30 minutes of wanton raging, that’s for sure.

Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to get at is that there are many ways to deal with your own anger, whether it’s to stay off social media or spend quiet time listening to music or watching adorable dog videos on Quibi (which I do, too) rather than trying to have a pleasant conversation with a landlord who regularly puts you in a bad mood. Even taking a nap can help or taking a nice long bath.

In other words, there’s plenty of ways of dealing with this horrible situation in which we’ve found ourselves that has only gives us one option, “Change or Die.” And I mean that in the nicest possible way because it’s become fairly obvious that we can’t continue living the way we have been. We can’t all just be angry every minute of every single day, since it’s quite self-defeatist, and I’m saying this as someone who has often felt victim towards his own anger.

I’m sure there are lots of ways that the professionals (i.e. shrinks and therapists) would advise dealing with anger, and some of them might recommend medication to do so, but I’ve never been one to believe in drug-controlled emotions. It kind of goes hand in hand with my moody nature and how it drives me creatively and in ways, also keeps me happy when I need to find ways to stay happy.

I’ve been writing for nearly 25 minutes about this topic and probably rambling and going off on a tangent for some of it but I already feel about 70% less angry now than I did when I started writing this, so I can definitely say I know myself and what works to get myself out of these moods I sometimes wake up to.

Hopefully, I can use the fact that I was able to get some of this anger out of my system to look towards other emotions over the rest of the day to feel like I’ve accomplished something more constructive, like you know, write that weekly column that takes up so much of my time every week.

In fact, I’m gonna cut this #30Me a minute or two short just so I can use the fact that I’m no longer in that mood I mentioned earlier to figure out what I’m gonna do for the next 12 or 13 hours of my day. Have a good Saturday and Mother’s Day and I’ll be back on Monday!

#30ME #30MinuteExperiment #Anger

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13eyond13 · 5 years

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Bloggin' Boundaries

here, have a lazy picrew of me

ABOUT ME

she/her // canadian 🇨🇦 // art school grad // 90s millennial // lesbian 🏳️‍🌈

[tag guide] // [aesthetic sideblog]

[drawing sideblog] // [beatles sideblog]

"13eyond13" is simply a version of the name "Beyond Birthday," who is my third favourite character in the Death Note series.

ABOUT THE CONTENT I POST

-This blog started as a Death Note analysis/ask blog, and it remained primarily that from 2017-2023

-Around 2024 I decided to branch out more with my blogging and post my thoughts about everything I am currently reading and watching instead. I will still post Death Note content, and definitely don't mind still getting asks about Death Note! But please be aware that I'm now going to be posting about lots of other stuff as well; expect to find Death Note + whatever media I'm currently into + a bunch of stupid memes here, basically

-I do try to tag my posts for other fandoms and their spoilers (eg. #berserk #berserk spoilers), but due to the origins of this blog my Death Note spoilers are untagged

-I occasionally might post 18+ content. I always tag these posts #nsfw #nsfwork (the new tag I use because the other one might censor your entire blog if you use it occasionally now), so that tag can be blocked, but my criteria for this might be different than your own. If you're not comfortable with this then please do not follow my blog

ABOUT MY DEATH NOTE POSTS

-I've been in the Death Note fandom off and on since 2007, and I've been blogging about it here since 2017

-The manga is by far my favourite version of the story and the one I default to when discussing it! I love to analyze the story as a whole as well as learn how to portray the cast of characters accurately. I am also a fan of the anime and the Another Note novel, but I'm not very familiar with the drama or the movies or the musical

-I appreciate the complex and morally grey aspects of the characters, so I often include them in my discussions and my jokes, but I'm never attempting to seriously condone any harmful actions or views. I approach this series as an ironic/dark-humoured work of fiction in which everyone goes to Mu in the end, and which was mostly just intended to be entertaining and to raise questions (x)

-My favourite characters in the series are L and Light, and my favourite ship is Lawlight. I tend to go hard on both characters and point out their flaws and negative traits a lot, but that doesn't mean I don't love them dearly. I also talk about their relationship in a shippy sense a lot as well, so if you're really not into that particular reading of things you might not want to follow me here!

ABOUT DIRECT MESSAGING/FOLLOWING

✅-I'm fine with direct messages if you are an adult (18+)

🚫-If you aren't an adult / if you do not have your age listed on your blog please don't private message me, and please don't take it personally if I do not follow your blog

ABOUT ROLEPLAYING

🚫-Sorry, I've never done it before. I mostly stick to writing analysis and headcanon posts

ABOUT SENDING ASKS

I'm not comfortable answering asks including any of the following, and will probably ignore them:

🚫-Commonly triggering topics (such as sending me headcanon requests for the DN characters + pregnancy, abortion, eating disorders, all manner of abuse, bigotry, addiction, derogatory slurs, self-harm... I have received some variation of all of these asks before here in the past)

🚫-Asks about nsfw/explicit 18+ stuff

🚫-Requests for art

🚫-Asks based around diagnosing fictional characters with disorders, mental illnesses, or any other medical conditions

🚫-Asks that treat my inbox like a therapist's couch, a private diary, or a confessional booth

🚫-Requests for financial support, or for the sharing of posts requesting financial support

IT'S DEFINITELY OKAY TO SEND ASKS ABOUT

✅-Any media you want to talk about with me

✅-headcanon & analysis requests

✅-media recs for me, or requests for me to give you specific media recs (I'm into books, comics, video games and movies especially - probably not the best person to recommend TV shows or music to, though)

✅-questions & observations about the Death Note fandom, or about fandom culture in general

✅-good jokes & memes

*If you need clarification about something please just ask me, and I can politely let you know*

Thanks for the asks & for respecting my boundaries! 🧡

#p #askboxstuff #last updated aug 2024

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