#i am same height with tobi

[sea-of-machines]

I'm fucking losing my shit i-

[mind-less-boy]

Why has Spider Man become a trans icon?

It’s a popular head canon between multiple spider man movies, tv shows, and other media, that Peter Parker is a trans boy (cuz lets be real, brother is just a boy 15 and kicking ass) Many fans, especially queer fans, like the head canon that he’s trans. But why? 

Disclaimer: I’m not saying that it’s an “incorrect” or “bad” head canon, I myself am a trans man and like this head canon. I’m not at all trying to “debunk” the head canon, I just find it fascinating that Spider man was given such an honor (lol)

So a basic overview of Peter Parker’s typical Spider man journey: 

He’s just a normal kid, going to highschool and getting by just fine

He gets bit by the spider and suddenly discovers all these new things about himself 

He decides to hide it, even around his closest family in fear that they won’t understand, that they’ll hate him, or just the knowledge that he could put them in danger if they knew

Revealing his true identity could (and has) out him in immense danger

Eventually, friends and family find out and love him for it, but the rest of the world doesn’t have to know because what only matters is his friends and family

Now of course, this is very broad since every version of Spider man is slightly different, no one is exactly the same. For example, Tom Holland’s Peter Parker just has the standard abilities, while Miles Morales Can turn invisible and produce lightning. Toby McGuire’s Spider man produces webs naturally while Gwen Stacy (who is confirmed to be trans in ATSV I believe)  has web cartridges. 

While yes, it can just be that the fans think that Spider man gives off trans vibes or because he acts like a trans fan, it often is, I think it’s also for a much, much deeper reason.

Peter Parker had to hide who he was from the entire world because he was scared of how it would affect his life. He was essentially living a double life. 

Trans people, myself included, often have these same feelings. We’re afraid of revealing our true identity in fear that we could be in danger or people simply won’t accept us. We lead a double life in the way that we have our true selves, with our desired gender expression, and we have what everyone else gets. 

Peter eventually tells his most trusted friends and family and they help him in every way they can and support him (of course they may not understand that whole “I shoot webs outta my wrists and stick to walls!”)

More often than not, trans people tell their friends first, their most trusted friends, and get their support and acceptance. Through this, they get courage to come out to parents which can go very different ways. People finding out the Peter Parker was spider man is either very positively or very negatively received. 

All this to say, we relate to Peter’s story. Having to hide your identity and only telling very few people. You hide something special about you (although, I don’t know many trans people who can stick to walls or shoot webs) 

I’ll leave this with one last thought. It’s been said that spider man wears a mask so that anyone can imagine themselves whine the mask. Spider man could be anyone, any identity. Any race, gender, sexuality, height, heritage, absolutely anything. That’s what makes spider man unique. He can be anyone and can be imagined as anyone. This makes it so much easier for, in this case, queer people to put their under-represented selves into the shoes of a hero who's respected and loved by all.

I just thought this was such an interesting thought and i wanted to say something about it. Feel free to share your own opinions on it, these are just my thoughts.

[fuzizeze]

PHEW, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO MAKE THIS POST FOR A VERY LONG TIME

THERE WILL BE A LOT OF LETTERS AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES‼️‼️

WELL

It occurred to me that counting the height (not all but many--) of EaH characters is a brilliant fucking idea

IT ALL TOOK A HELL OF A LOT OF TIME because there were a lot of problems with

In general, I initially started counting by the pantry in which Stiesel was locked up, I DIDN'T HAVE A SCREENSHOT LEFT, SORRY, but in short----

I found the approximate height of the ceilings in Germany (2.5 meters) and then I tried to figure out from the fucking doorway where, like, uh, the line on which the characters stand???

In short, I tried to find where these 2.5 meters start from

As a result, the first ones I counted were Edna and Stiesel, and then I counted others by simply substituting Edna's height to them (naturally so that they had normal proportions)

Then there were troubles with Hulgor because he actually hunches over. I tried to straighten it out, it turned out the way it did.----

A funny moment by the way, Hulgor (while he hunches) and Toby are the same height if you compare them with Edna, BUT IN THE GAME ITSELF, TOBY IS LOWER NEXT TO HULGOR FOR SOME REASON, I MEAN-----

Another problem was with Droggelbecher, because in the original game he has a very small sprite 'cause he stands in the distance, in the remaster they fixed it and made him a normal sprite, BUT HIS SEEMED TOO HIGH TO ME

YES, WE HAVE KEYMASTER 198CM AND HOTI 199CM, BUT I DONT BELIEVE THAT THE DROGGEL HEIGHT CAN BE 2 METERS

So I divided the difference between his sprites in orig and remaster by 2 (idk why by 2, probably because there are 2 variants of his height----) and added to the original

Again, it turned out how it turned out

I missed a bunch of other characters and didn't even try to do them, because I just didn't want to

Well, seriously, who needs the growth of a controller and a barman

And others could not be done due to the fact that they have inconvenient sprites for counting, I mean Peter, Blase, Adrian, well, put those whom you remember

Aaaaaaannnnddd wweeeeeeeeell probably that's it??? I do not pretend to be canonical at all AND I HONESTLY AM NOT SURE THAT I COUNTED EVERYONE CORRECTLY, BUT WHAT IS THERE IS

I'VE PUT A LOT OF TIME INTO THIS AND I'M HAPPY WITH WHAT CAME OUT IN THE END

IF SUDDENLY MORE THAN TWO PEOPLE SEE IT, I REALLY HOPE THAT IT CAN SUDDENLY BE USEFUL??? INTERESTING??? I dont know

I'M DAMN TIRED OF WRITING THIS, THANKS FOR YOUR ATTENTION‼‼‼️‼️💥💥💥💋💋💋💋💋🎉🎉🎉🎉

[hibernationsuit-remade]

oc questions tag ❔

tagged by @darkfire1177 thank u <3 tagging @spaceratprodigy @solstheimtxt @westernwind-s @ncytiri @envergothash @heartofhubris @bg3 @elmshore and anyone else who wants to do it :3

anyway get some toby info 🥰

Name: Tobias Ariel Katz

Nickname(s): Toby, Sunshine (only used by Klara)

Gender: Trans man <3

Star sign: uhhhhhh i had to look up. Leo.

Height: 5'4 / 164 cm

Orientation: Bisexual

Nationality Ethnicity: Finnish-Ukrainian-American Jewish (yes i changed the question. listen. i don't think they had same kind of countries on tow's 24th century Earth. that's why we're talking about ethnicity).

Favourite fruit: Apples

Favourite season: Autumn! he loves crunchy, colorful leaves and sweater+long coat season

Favourite flower: Sunflowers! He likes that they turn towards the sun and grown really tall. Also, tasty seeds. (read: i am a boring person who doesn't know shit about flowers so i'm picking the ones i know?)

Favourite scent: Coffee <3

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Coffee, sometimes white tea.

Average hours of sleep: he's lucky if he gets 6-7 😔

Dog or cat person: CAT PERSON. he's fine with dogs but he prefers cats soooo much more. he volunteered at a cat shelter as a freshman and second year student 🥺

Dream trip: Traveling makes him nervous so he prefers "staycations"

Favourite fictional character: a main character from a short graphic novel Klara did for her art class >:3

Number of blankets they sleep with: one! he moves a lot and gets annoyed if there's more of them bc they just start falling over

Random fact: You get three: Likes to do math problems and sudokus in his free time. Often picks stairs instead of elevator. Used to read at least 50 books in a year. His collection of books in Halcyon is too small for that. For now.

[bonetrousled]

can you talk about why you disliked undertale yellow? never played it or watched a playthrough but i’m very curious!

PREFACING THIS WITH A DISCLAIMER i know it is a passion project and it makes me Feel Bad that my feelings on it r this negative. i do not mean to discredit the years of work anybody put into it and i am So Happy that the general consensus is that people really liked it! i'm glad the team's work paid off. i am also going to be SUPER opinionated. undertale is my biggest interest of all time it has been my special interest for going on Nine Years . i am Wired to have very strong feelings on it . please do NOT take my opinion as a message to Not enjoy it if you do! play it and form an opinion on ur own time

also SPOILERS for the game!

that being said

i will first state the things i Enjoyed

music was phenomenal! it was very fun and atmospheric

artwork was very good! it makes me a little sad that the canon characters we see didn't really get the tlc/polish that all of the original content did, but that's ok!

i like how smarmy flowey was in the no mercy run. it was a little ooc at times but i had a blast (which will sadly become a negative) partly bc of his attitude

i love mo as a character. im going to rescue him from this game i just know it

ok. things that frustrate me from least to most (i will try to keep this brief bc i WILL go on a tangent if left unrestrained)

i wish the main cast had more variety in monster types. body shape, proportions, colors, etc! with how wide the array of the cast is in ut, it's just a little sad that the main cast here all roughly have the same build, height, and aren't really "monstery". lots of the non-main characters (i am including the feisty five in here) have more diverse and visually interesting designs to me and i wish there was just a bit more variety

add-on to the previous point: something abt the fact that dalv just kind of looks like a human Guy who is Purple with Horns makes me irrationally irritated. they could have put a little more of a bat motif in there or Something because the first time i saw him i genuinely didn't think he was supposed to be a monster

some of the fights are NONSENSE BULLSHIT HARD for no reason. some of these have been fixed since release but there were multiple segments that weren't even like. main story character fights that made me want to rip my hair out. additionally the shops are FEW and FAR between. it was a STRUGGLE to get enough healing items 90% of the time and i had to ration them out constantly

i know most were patched out and this is kind of a nitpick but the complete ABUNDANCE of grammatical and spelling errors on release took me out of the flow of things SO much. places that desperately needed a comma that had none, words completely misspelled (outside of punchlines for jokes), things like that. it wouldn't have been such a problem but it happened SO much and really got into the way of making sure dialogue progressed as normal. speaking of

i'm so sorry. half of the dialogue and jokes make me want to shriek and scream in agony. maybe it's just not my cup of tea and nobody is forcing you to have completely toby-fox-accurate jokes in your game but the majority of the jokes made in the pacifist/neutral runs fall completely flat for me. the general dialogue is very fanfic-esque to me in a way ? i do Not know how to describe it. it's not Good. along w that i'm sorry but in my opinion the way they wrote asgore in there is COMPLETELY out of character. i'm going to be so so honest mr king "fuzzy pushover" fluffybuns isn't going to go GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND NEVER RETURN!!!!! the man got beat up by a child and took her in to train her. like yeah his garden is sentimental or whatever but like. he is such a Nice Guy. he would Not do that

the timeline does not make Any sense. if frisk is the first human to fall in YEARS to the point where everyone is losing hope of ever getting another soul for the barrier and most monsters don't recognize you as a human and let you interact w them freely why in the Fuck are undyne and alphys just like. alive and kicking here. why is alphys doing amalgamate shit already. what is going ON

and finally. the part that makes me the Most Irritated

i cannot fucking stand the story. I AM SORRY

i physically cannot expound on this as much as i want to bc the post is long enough as it is and i'll go on forever but generally speaking

i Do Not Like ceroba. i didn't really feel any connection or anything to any of the other characters in General but her entire deal and everything that surrounds it just makes me So Mad. like ok. i tried to get past the "oh my husband is a super important scientist (but not the royal scientist because that's alphys teehee but still REALLY important) and he's also secretly a boss monster (even though the only boss monsters we see are the Actual Fucking King and Queen of monsters and are the same monster subtype)" shit but like. THEN it's like. oh he's actually making a super secret magic serum that uses essence from a boss monster soul and a human soul (where did he get that. he made this after he was fired from his job. where did he get a human soul from) to give EVERY monster the power of a boss monster so that when we EVENTUALLY get enough souls to get to the surface (could literally be hundreds of years from now) we'll be strong enough to beat the humans (that's why asgore is collecting the souls in the first place. to shatter the barrier and become a god strong enough to beat the humans. that's the Point)

but WUH OH!!!! the serum is actually KILLING him!!!! and he never told his wife! so he leaves a series of tapes behind to tell her abt it after he dies and IN THESE TAPES he's like listen. here's this awesome potion im making. you need a BOSS MONSTER SOUL and a HUMAN SOUL to make it work. our daughter IS a boss monster. BUT. do NOT FUCKING use it on her. ok. DON'T. do that. ok love you (dies) AND FUCKING. her like 6 year old daughter walks in and speaks in a perfect eloquent sentence and says some shit like "we have to carry on daddy's legacy :(" and asks to be injected w the shit that we saw kill her dad SECONDS PRIOR and ceroba is virtually IMMEDIATELY like well ok if the kindergartner says it's fine. AND OF COURSE HER DAUGHTER IMMEDIATELY FALLS DOWN????

and when i tell u the like. WHOLE second half of the game is dedicated to this bullshit nonsense. ceroba has this whole thing where she's trying to kill you because you're pure of heart or whatever and it'll work for the serum or something and after a LONG ASS (stupid incredibly hard for no reason considering SHE IS NOT a boss monster) battle w her she's like ok i'm not gonna do that anymore i give up kill me etc. and in pacifist you're like nah i won't kill u i forgive you Hooray!

and so. right. youve been fighting the ENTIRE TIME. to find the missing kids. to get home. to leave the underground after figuring out what happened. there are only FIVE human souls at this point. having one more will NOT break the barrier. you've been fighting to LIVE this Entire Time. the story must end in clover's death SOMEHOW but literally the driving force here has been survival

clover is literally like ummmm ok well im gonna give up my soul right here right now to add it to the pile. *dies on rooftop ALONE* . the shriek i screamed when this happened was. Astronomical. like. oh yeah everybody let the 9 year old give their life for a civilization that has been trying to kill them this Entire Time. never mind the fact it makes all of the fighting and striving and grueling we did Worthless because clover decides to sacrifice themselves completely out of the player's control. this wouldn't make me AS mad if we had like. a choice like the forgive him/do not asriel thing where we could face asgore and be forced to lose OR sacrifice ourselves but even then it's just. SO silly to me.

i think i get the like. doomed parents sad child dreemurr parallels they were TRYING to go for but it is all so clunky and wonky and. just DOES not work narratively if you think about ANY aspect of it for too long

all of these factors combined made the game a complete and total Slog to get through . it is Not just me i streamed it to a few friends the whole time and the opinion was the Same

HOWEVER.

the no mercy run, completely against what it is MADE to do, was fucking awesome

the passive aggressive comments from flowey the entire time were hilarious. the power trip i got chasing axis was splendid. i didn't have to sit through pages of dialogue that made my eye twitch. i just got to Kill People.

i do Not like the fact that they seemed to think no mercy = Hard Bosses which. isn't really true for undertale ? out of the normal bosses only two are ramped up in difficulty and it thematically makes sense Why. in uty martlet gets multiple fights (including a Bullshit Insane Hard Final Fight), ceroba gets a Bullshit Insane Hard fight w a new mechanic that is introduced out of Nowhere and took me like 6 times to notice that it was even Implemented, and axis gets a tough fight. which is Fine but i do not think it really understood the message of like. the no mercy run is not supposed to be Fun. you are eviscerating this world and everything it has to offer. you're literally Killing the game. it's a tricky thing to balance but all in all No part of it made me feel bad. this could be due to me Already not really caring abt any of the characters but. sigh

also martlet gets really strong at the end bc she injects herself w dt but like. why does she know about that. she does guard stuff Near the Lab but why does she Know about the experiments. the whole point is that nobody Else Knows. where did she get that from. what the fuck

anyway. says that i won't go on for too long. proceeds to go on for too long like some kind of Liar

[bloodblanks]

creepypasta matchups

for @mc-cuddlebunny ♡ thank you for commissioning me!

I'm 5'0 ft tall I've got super curly dark brown hair I'm very tomboy like (pretty masc presenting) I love horror movies and scary things absolutely love like fake blood and like gore-y slasher movies I love metal music and oldies rock, and occasionally some girly pop like Nikki Minaj cause it actually goes hard I'm a on the chubbier side I have tattoos on my right hand and inner forearm and wrist (I have a knife and two ghosts) I talk big game, but really I'm a huge softy tbh I love sex tbh, and I am a bit on the kinkier side (knife play, bondage, maybe degradation and dacryphilia) but you don't have to go that crazy if that's too much! I totally understand Also I don't know how important this is But I like to love bite sometimes :3c

author's note: this work will contain explicit content. please read at your own discretion.

this is a paid commission. if you are interested in commissioning me for a creepypasta matchup, don’t hesitate to send me a dm!

ticci toby

toby isn’t all that tall himself, so you being shorter is a nice thing for him. that doesn’t stop him from occasionally teasing you about your height, though.

he really likes your hair! brown is his favourite hair colour, and he loves the curls. he’s likely to want to touch your hair often, whether it be patting your head, stroking your hair, or just playing with it while you’re watching a show together.

he doesn’t have much of an opinion on you being a tomboy. he thinks you’re cute overall and he’s perfectly happy with you being more masculine, just as much as he would be if you weren’t. toby doesn’t have an opinion on your weight, either, besides that he likes how you look. they’re just not things that he really thinks about specifically.

toby’s favourite movie genre is thriller, although horror comes in at a close second. he’ll love to watch them with you while cuddled up on the sofa together; he doesn’t like theatres too much. if you happen to get scared while watching them, he’ll find it adorable. toby isn’t that big on fake blood and gore, but he likes them more than the average person.

toby likes the same music as you. well, not 100%, but for the vast majority, your tastes do align. while toby likes music, he only likes it as much as the average person. so he’ll have music playing if he’s walking somewhere or in the car, maybe have it as background but he wouldn’t go out of his way to listen to music together.

he likes your tattoos! they make him want to get some as well, though he has no idea what he’d want.

toby likes that you talk big. it makes banter and teasing all the more enjoyable for him. at the same time, he also enjoys how soft you are, it only adds to your cuteness.

you two are a perfect match sex wise. toby has a high sex drive as well, and is very much so a freak. he’ll be happy to get it on whenever and even wherever you want, provided you also wanted it.

as far as knifeplay goes, toby enjoys it, but not as much as some other kinks of his. as for bondage, he definitely likes it and will be happy to tie you up. he likes the standard rope bondage, not so much handcuffs or chains. although he definitely doesn’t mind them, either.

now degradation is a whole other story. if anything gets toby going, it’s degradation. toby will degrade you; he will tell you that you’re his slut, his perfect fucktoy and so on, all the while making you beg for him and telling him who you belong to.

with dacryphilia, toby is a bit more hesitant. he loves you, and he loves to degrade you, and he especially loves the sight of your pretty eyes brimming with tears. however, toby can’t help but worry that he’s gone too far sometimes, and perhaps he’s actually hurt you. he’ll do it, but he will be extra cautious about it.

lastly, hickeys. toby likes it when you leave him hickeys, and he’ll gladly show them off, not bothering to cover his neck when he goes out. while he does leave hickeys on you sometimes, it’s more so that he enjoys the act of leaving them, rather than the mark itself.

[fatgumsurpremacy-remastered]

Welcome folks-

My name is Festen Martinez, you can call me Festen. I am an actor above all else and a writer second. I write and draw for Team Fortress Two, as well as the Batman Rouges, (Some Hazbin), and FNAF. If you spark up a convo with me and I know the property and character you have a good chance at me writing for them too.

Feel free to send me requests and I’ll have a look. Current count (41, with 3 more in drafts).

Follow my second blog @faire-of-fictition

My hazbin oc blogs: @mc-tooley-tobias-toby , and @magnum-pritchard-repro

Other info:

21

He/Its

Bisexual

Transmasc

American (West Virginia, and Texas)

You can send me requests for your OCS or you can ask for mine as well. Don’t me shy, make yourself at home. 🧡

Requests open!

I am a Fandom Writer:

I write for:

Btas villains: Riddler, Twoface, Mad Hatter, Scarecrow, Harley, Ivy. Batman also

TF2: All Mercs AND MS PAULING

I will write:

•Should be obvious but chubby (or fat) reader

•Yandere (preferred)

•Smut (preferred, just reference what you’d want in the ask and I’ll give it to ya.)

•Non con/ Dub con/ CNC

•Platonic

•Headcannons

•Drabbles

•Imagines

I’ll draw any of the above as well

I won’t write (or draw)

•Scat

•Pedophillia

•Age Regression (dkh)

•Detransition

Masterlists:

Tf2

Demoman:

Demo joining a LARP group!

Yandere Demo w/ an s/o who doesn’t like dancing

Yan demo w/ bartender S/O

Engineer

Yandere Conagher Brothers x oblivious reader

Dell x trans husband smut

Yandere Engie and forced affection

Traveling preist Engie Art by @virginstoner666 💗

Go! Yandere Engineer x GN reader (almost smut)

Heavy:

Yan heavy cuddles!

Pyro

Yandere Platonic Emesis py Reader

Semi unmasked art

Ms. Pauling

Yandere Ms. Pauling

Semi Marriage proposal

Platonic Ms. Pauling and new trainee

Medic:

Yandere medic smut

Yandere medic with a captive that goes missing

Yandere medic and a partner w/ stolkholm

Yandere medic lap dance

Yandere medic Cycle of violence smut

Scout:

Get bonked

Yandere scout, kissing practice

Platonic scout

Sniper:

In my style

With a bratty so smut

Soldier:

Nsfw thoughts

Platonic Solly and overstimulated hugs

Spy:

Yandere spy egg vibes

All:

Yandere Red Octoberfest drawing

Would I trust them with my pets?

Demo and heavy x reader Head-cannons

Mercs reacting to a love letter

Yandere emesis Blue x reader

Yandere medic and sniper w/ clingy s/o

Emesis character comfort

Yandere mercs and if they’re comforting or not

Yandere mercenaries and how scary they are when jealous

Yandere Angel au with Sniper, Solider, and Medic smut

My my mercenaries

Soldier/Demo

Medic/engineer

Merc Headcannons

Memed science party

Spy and Engie dad stance

Btas

Alberto

Cornelius Stirk:

Stirk img.

Eddie

BTAS Eddie nsfw snippet

Yandere Arkham asylum riddler w/ shy and anxious reader

Yan telltale riddler with a reader who tries to escape

Yandere telltale Eddie

Yandere Arkham Eddie hcs

Handling it (smut)

Caked up Eddie img.

Eddie frame redraws💚

In my style: Ed and Jerv 💚💙

Nightmares img.

An Ed Kento for Sunny 💚💛

For Arkhamverse simps

Scantily clad ed

5’2 Au pt 1

5’2 suited up

5’2 Au ground img.

5’2 classic mv

5’2 smut pic

There’s a light img.

BTAS Insp. Art

Indulgent riddlebat

More fancy Eddie Art

Dilf Eddie?

Flashy Eddie ing.

Yandere platonic Eddie teaching riddles

Harley:

Harvey:

Au art

Harvey and insert art

Tasteful nudity

Ivy:

Jack:

Joinker au

More whore clown img.

Jervis:

Bonkers img

Jervis img.

Wonderlan img.

Reading img.

Johnathan:

Johnny img.

Scarecrow design img

BTAS scarecrow yandere head-cannons

Comp drawing w/ batman

Yandere BTAS headcannons

Ozwald:

Oswald Img.

Compilation

Au Squad: Jervis, John, Jack, and Edd

5’2 height matrix img (WIP)

Batman Vigilante Squad Au

Hazbin/Helluva Boss

Alastor

Under the Same Young Sky (male reader, ao3)

Vox

Yandere Vox housespouse

It Takes Time to See a Doll, Yandere Vox x Cis!Fem Reader P[1] [1.5]

Vox x chubbyfem reader wip

Ocs

Maddox

Maddox x reader play fighting

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Debunking the “Lancer is a little kid” belief

After years and years of not shipping anything (not in video games, movies, or TV shows), I finally came across a particular pairing in Toby Fox's "Delatrune" that immediately caught my attention. In case you're still guessing even after reading the title, I'm talking about Susie and Lancer here. Specifically, how Lancer is portrayed in the Delatrune fandom.

Now, what you're about to read is me being as objective as possible, but if you still see Lancer as a literal kid (even after the very last point, taken straight from the game itself), go on and believe what you want to. I mean, isn't that what works of fiction or supposed to be about? Letting our creativity flow and taking whatever we want to take from the actual work, so that we can interpret it in any way we want to? I won't even stop you from posting hate comments (they're inevitable). Just prepare yourselves for a reality check, folks.

Enough rambling. Let's get straight to the point. And that point is that whenever I went on the internet to look for fanart/fanfiction of these two, I could barely find any for one reason: 99% of the fandom saw the pairing as pedophilic. I must stop you all right there. Let's take a not-so-well-deserved break from my little discussion and look up the term 'pedophilia.'

In short, a pairing can’t be pedophilic if neither one of the characters is an adult. Or, if they're in a romantic, but non-sexual relationship. Like, you can call a couple with an age gap weird/gross all you want, but if it's not sexual, the term 'pedophilia' doesn't apply. That's my whole point. Except... Susie and Lancer are *peers.*

About Lancer's height. Saying that he's a child just because he's short is like saying Papyrus is much older than Sans just because Sans is short (heck, if you compare the heights, you'll see he's even shorter than Lancer, and yet Sans is an adult, and no one has ever questioned it).

Let's look at an actual example: Monster Kid/Teen. I found a picture containing them as a child (right) and teenager (left). See the difference? Okay. 

Now, I did the same thing for Lancer, and... if he were a child, he'd look something like this:

If you look up an actual height comparison for every character in the game, you’ll see how Lancer and Monster Teen are the same height (Kris and Ralsei too as far as I can tell). Still not convinced? Let's look at Susie. Most people follow this logic: She is taller and, therefore, must be older than Lancer. To that, I say: she's a dinosaur-like monster; of course, she will be taller than the others. Who knows how tall she'll be as an adult? As for Lancer: his dad may be tall, but that doesn't automatically mean he will be as huge as him when he grows up. Nothing weird about that.

Now Let's look at Lancer's personality. He's an immature and spoiled prince, but for a good reason: he spent his entire life being treated as a baby/toddler/child before he met Susie. No wonder he lacks confidence, needs 'babysitters', and is terrible with directions. Lancer... doesn't know any better. He's never been told that he can be his own individual. He's never been told that he isn't useless. That he doesn't need protection. Remember when Lancer told Susie that he had never eaten the Dark Candy hanging way too high on the tree because he wasn't allowed to get it himself, and she decided to let him try it even though she was hungry? Or when he stated that he wasn't allowed to swear? Lancer was even surprised that the trio's "collective dad" "lets them" swear. I'm sure people growing up in a strict household would understand when I say how this doesn't explicitly have to do anything with Lancer's biological age, just his upbringing. And Susie trying to get (the word they used was not 'teach,'  just 'get') him to swear more is similar to what some of my friends do sometimes when I'm too shy - get me out of my shell. That doesn't make me younger than I am. She teaches Ralsei sarcasm too in CH2, and I don't see anyone treating him like a little kid.

There's an interesting post about this here on Tumblr (https://at.tumblr.com/rainy-poppy/lancer-is-literally-a-child-why-are-you-shipping/d3kpxj3hpn1j). Basically, the person is saying that Susie, being the tough badass she is, wouldn't be hanging out with an actual child (despite calling him 'kid,' which I'll be getting to after this). Let's look at Anne and Sprig's friendship in Amphibia for a second since both of their ages are confirmed. She's 13. He's 10. The difference between Susie and Anne here is that Susie was a bully. Someone who was actually threatening, and not just a typical, friendly teenage girl like Anne. A bully like Susie would NOT willingly team up with a child. Instead, she'd say something like: "Whatever, kid. Scram!". Not only that, but she would not threaten to bite a child's face off, or beat him up (Lancer was literally the first person she actually beat up, according to what Monster Teen and Snowy tell us about never having seen her do it to anyone before), try to kill him twice (and almost succeed the second time), or call him 'man,' 'dude,' 'idiot,' and a 'wannabe tough guy.' And Lancer's face? I don't know if it's a joke. If it is, I'll ignore it, but if that's his actual face, then no. Him being a child is impossible. And considering that he has already made this particular face three times (once in CH1 and twice in CH2), I'm pretty sure it's canon. I can't get behind how someone could look at this face and think "That's a baby/toddler/little boy!" I seriously can't.

And it's not just that. We see that he and Susie made a literal game in which we (Kris) and Ralsei are supposed to ‘thrash our own ass’. I don’t know about you, but I highly doubt a child would have the mental capacity to contribute to the project or keep up with Susie in general. Additionally, Lancer shows an uncharacteristic level of maturity, ordering his troops to imprison us. Heck, they put him as the king of the entire Card Kingdom! Would they have put a 10-year-old on the throne? If they were smart, then no, of course not! Rouxls Kaard would have been in charge instead until Lancer was old enough. The comment one of the Rudinns made about him being their new king went something like: "We didn't know who to make our new king. Lancer's always been annoying, but seeing how nice he treats you guys, I think he'll be fine". There isn't a single mention of him not being old enough. The only canon information we have about Lancer’s age is that he isn’t old enough to ride a motorcycle, so he’s 15 max. Not an adult, but not a child either. And considering how the rest of the gang are teens, he is at least 13 (although, this is still too young imo).

Lancer understands the concept of death damn well; he just doesn't let it bother him. A child would scream, beg, cry, or run away in terror if someone threatened or tried to kill them, or become paralyzed from fear. He was even willing, no, EXPECTING to die during the Susie fight and said "Susie, you... you missed." He was willing to make this sacrifice just to keep her safe from his dad. The same guy who only used to care about being useful to King and making him proud (despite clarly having a soft heart) finally found something more imporant than proving himself, and that's having, being, and remaning a true friend to the end. This is both heartbreaking and beautiful. And from this one scene on, Lancer's remained 100% loyal to his friends, especially Susie (but also never had a single thought about leaving Kris and Ralsei behind).

A child like Monster Kid was clearly naive in UT. They said how they want to be like Undyne when they grow up (all Lancer said was how he wanted to be like Susie, without the "when I grow up" part). Not only that, but Monster Kid isn't even old enough to fight and needs Undyne to protect them, while Lancer is a skilled fighter compared to the rest of the Card Kingdom inhabitants (minus his father). Lancer, as immature as he sometimes is (and for a good reason, if we consider his upbringing), isn’t naive and clueless about the world. Bonus points for his jokes being not only silly but clever and sarcastic. He's like the perfect combo of Papyrus' goofiness and Sans' sarcasm. A child wouldn't be able to ride their bike as well as he does, think of such witty comebacks, or make up creative new words on the spot. A child would babble some stupid stuff, unfunny to teenagers. But Lancer's actually the only person who can make Susie laugh (besides herself).

Now, about this whole 'kid' talk. Lancer, I believe, called himself like this because he sees himself as a child despite being chronologically older. Why? As I said, because of his upbringing and (I think) because his father always saw him as incapable. And Susie addressing him as ‘kid’? It could mean a few things:

1) it was said as a way to mock him for his height, immaturity, or both, and as an addition to the comedy; it's not that deep

2) She thought that he was a kid, but Lancer explained to her that he wasn't when they started hanging out, which would explain why she didn't call him a kid ever again (and called him 'dude' and 'man' instead);

3) It's meant to imply Lancer is 1 or 2 years younger than Susie, but 3 years younger? I don't think so. More than 3? Definitely not.

*I think the first one is the most likely scenario considering she had called him a 'wannabe tough guy’ during their next encounter, while they were still enemies

I respect if you don't like/hate the ship because you see them as siblings, if you headcanon Susie as a lesbian, or if you ship her with someone else. I'm just sick and tired of this reasoning and not being able to enjoy the ship in peace because of people attacking it and its fans.

Edit: There are a lot of things I either forgot to mention, or want to discuss in more detail, so here they are:

-The reason the word 'kid' is repeated so often during our first encounter with him is because someone from the staff accidentally thought Lancer was much older than he really is based on the headcanon voice he gave him, so Toby decided to highlight that Lancer is a kid just like the rest of them (this was spoken of during the 6th anniversary of UT, there's a video on YouTube). Not only that, but Berdly calls himself 'the smart kid', and Susie says something like 'whether you're the smart kid or not, we couldn't care less (referring to Berdly)'. Basically, they're all still "children" (as Queen calls them) even though they're technically teens, and it's not like Lancer is an exception. Heck, Berdly asked: "Who's this guy?" And not "Who's this kid?" because we're already familiar from CH1 that Lancer isn't an adult, so there's no need to highlight it anymore

-Toby wanted to make 4 slots instead of 3 originally so Lancer could be a part of the gang and appear in the status menu, but figured that it would take too much work (from the stream). This proves that all 4 of them are equals; a child wouldn't be able to or allowed to fight alongside teenagers

-Speaking of my previous point, Lancer is a pretty skilled fighter (can throw a ton of spades), he's stronger than a lot of his people (his attack is 7) and also surpingly difficult to kill (during the fight with Susie)

-He acts a lot less stupid than most people give him credit for and is way more emotionally mature. Sure, he's silly for the sake of the comedy, but also clever and sarcastic. You can't convince me, based on his dialogue and interactions, that he acts like a little kid. Once again, I don't understand how those who had played Undertale are now pretending that they don't know Toby's humor is often exaggerated (like in Papyrus' case). It's not their first time seeing someone incompetent and purposefully goofy in his game

‐ If we look inside Lancer's room, we can see that it not only looks similar to Kris and Susie's, (who are, you know, teenagers), but there are also no "childish" things in there, such as toys, posters and action figures (Papyrus has them, and he's an adult). Also, he has a totally normal, spade-themed bed, while Papyrus, again, has one shaped like a car, yet somehow, Lancer is the one seen as a little kid. Sans reads Papyrus *bedtime stories* I repeat: *Sans reads Papyrus, an adult man, or an older teenager, bedtime stories.* NO ONE does this to Lancer.

-Whenever he and Susie interact, I always get the feeling that they're both on the same wavelength. To give an example of what I mean, I'll compare their dynamic to the one between Applejack and Apple Bloom from MLP:FiM. Even though AJ cares about her little sister, they each have their own friend groups. Saying Lancer is a little kid wouldn't make sense, considering how Susie has always treated him as her equal (heck, they even high-fived each other twice in CH2. If that isn't a sign of equality, I don't know what is). I never got the feeling that she was taking care of her "little brother," like a lot of fans seem to think. Even when she tried to save him from the maze, she got lost herself. I mean, who wouldn't do something like this if it meant helping a friend out? Not to mention the many stupid things they did TOGETHER (in the 6th-anniversary stream of UT, Toby stated how neither of the two knows anything about villainy), so it's not Lancer dragging Susie down with him

-This might sound like a nitpick but I think it's important: how Lancer addressed King as 'Father,' and also how King referred to him as a 'traitor'. A little kid would excitedly run up to their dad and say either "Dad!" or "Daddy!" And I highly doubt a kid would be referred to as a traitor

-Susie actually planned to bite his face off, and Ralsei didn't stop her. I'm sure as hell he wouldn't have let a young child get eaten like that. Also, Lancer called him his 'main man,' once again showing that they are similar in age. And if he were really a little kid, Lancer would have annoyed the living daylights out of Susie once they teamed up (ask her to play with him, ask a lot of questions and be overall annoying. Trust me, I've got younger cousins). But instead of that scenario, Susie says "We got bored, so we're having a snack" What does this mean? That Lancer did not act like an annoying little kid, simply because he isn't one. Don't even get me started on how people draw him, because holy hell, it seems to me that 1) most of the fandom is actually blind and doesn't see that he, Ralsei and Kris are all roughly 4 feet tall in the actual game or 2) they try to capture Lancer's childishness by drawing him as a toddler (except, the personality they give him isn't his real one in the first place, considering how he's never acted like a toddler once, so I really don't know what the point of drawing the poor guy like this even is)

-An argument I saw against Susie x Lancer was how "they've never acted romantic with each other" All I have to say in regards to that is how they've literally known each other for roughly 2 DAYS (+ Toby seems to want to make Suselle canon). I can't get behind how people think that love can blossom over such a short period of time. Not everyone believes in 'love at first sight,' and I'm one of those who don't. Crushes, yeah, but they are usually short-lived and always shallow. What we learn about Lancer is that he values sincerity and is very sincere himself (as we can see when Kris tries to compliment him twice) Plus, Susie never had any friends prior to Lancer, so jumping from friendship to romance just like that would be not only bad writing, but also unrealistic. The very reason I love Lancer is how there's no sudden romantic subplot linked to him, like Noelle's obsession with Susie and Ralsei's crush on Kris (I find both of these ships toxic as hell, but I don't want to talk about them here). Just to add something here: despite not moving any romantic subplot forward or being associated with one, Lancer isn't unfamiliar with the concept (as seen in CH2 when he calls himself handsome and admits to 'having fallen in love'). I honestly think that, much like Papyrus, Lancer isn't linked to any kind of romantic subplot simply because he's the comic relief, so it would affect the comedic part of his character

-Why is everyone complaining about this ship, but not a literal child (Frisk, who most people see as 8-12 years old), going on a date with an adult skeleton, Papyrus? (at least, people usually percieve him as a young adult, but he could also be a teenager) Either way, it isn't a small age gap. Also, why is Frans such a popular ship even though one character is a child (Frisk) and the other clearly an adult (Sans)? You could argue that Frisk's age hasn't been confirmed, and skeletons don't age because they're undead, but still, Papyrus and Sans were not introduced as, you know, skeleton boys, and yet somehow both ships are acceptable, but Susie x Lancer isn't? Not just that, but people age Frisk up when it comes to the Frans ship and there's far less hate for it than the ship that isn't even pedophilic?

-People are also totally fine with ships like Dipper x Wendy (Gravity Falls), Aang x Katara (ATLA), Toph x Sokka (also ATLA), Spike x Rarity (MLP:FiM), and such. There is a clear age gap in all of these pairings, but they're not seen as problematic in any way

-I bet that, if Ralsei had a childish personality, or literally any other character, they'd also be seen as a kid/toddler. Even a baby for some reason? I don't understand this. The way people perceive Lancer, when it comes to both height and personality, is completely different from how he acts in the game. Sure, he's loud, flamboyant and obnoxious, but also chill and sarcastic. And sure, Lancer does have the tendency to act dumber than average, but THAT'S THE POINT of a character who's a COMIC RELIEF

-"But King doesn't allow Lancer to say tier-two swear words!" Neither does Greg from Steven Universe, and Steven was 14. You know, a teenager. In case people are curious about which episode I'm talking about, it's "Beach City Drift". Basically, Greg doesn't allow Steven to say words like 'hate' and 'creep'. That's even worse than not allowing your teenage son (who is still a minor and therefore you still have authority over him) to say tier-two swear words!

-"Why does King make his people take care of Lancer if he isn't a little kid or allow him to eat from the Dark Candy tree?" To make sure he's acting like a proper prince and not the goofball he is deep down, if you ask me. And because he doesn't take the poor guy seriously. As for the Dark Candy; once again, eating sweets isn't considered 'princely' and, as I mentioned above, Lancer is still a minor, so King still has the authority to tell him what to do and punish him in whatever way he wants (having to take a shower every time he reads a swear word, possibly being starved, according to a few lines, and even being emotionally and physically abused). Emotionally, in the sense that King belittled him, made him feel worthless, ignored whatever Lancer had to say and used him in a manipulative way to achive his goal of serving the Knight (the first two points are guesses, while we saw the other two on screen). Physically, based on the fact that he becomes worried when he realizes his friends and his dad are gonna fight. I have no doubt that King was phyiscally violent towards him at least once, considering how terrified Lancer is. He knows what King is capable of because he himself experienced his wrath. I see Lancer's upbringing as that of a lonely, overprotected person, who's also royalty. There are a lot of examples of this type of upbringing, whether we're talking about real people or fictional characters (like Rapunzel, for example)

-Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender took over the Fire Nation at 16. This makes sense. I don't imagine Lancer being much younger when he took over the Card Kingdom

-"The reason why the guards obeyed Lancer when he told them to imprison Kris, Susie, and Ralsei is that King made them obey his every order!" Then why can Lancer make his own laws (+ he knows what the word means, which wouldn't be the case if he were too young) without asking RK for permission, and why do Lancer's people listen to him without complaining when he orders them not to attack/kill us at the beginning of CH2 (if we attacked the Darkeners in CH1)? King isn't in charge anymore, so it's not out of fear. They all clearly grew to respect Lancer and his authority. They wouldn't respect a child like this

-"In the stream, Toby said Lancer is a boy!" So what? We've got Ralsei, who people call 'fluffy boy,' and Susie, who's known as 'purple girl'. I bet Berdly and Noelle would also be known as 'bird boy' and 'reindeer girl'. Even Lancer refers to Kris, Ralsei, and Susie as 'boys or girls' In the same stream, when they got to the part where we first meet Lancer, someone said something along the lines of "Now it's time to replace the fluffy boy (Ralsei) with another boy (Lancer)" In other words, they're both referred to as boys and therefore must have similar ages. Yet SOMEHOW it's acceptable to ship Susie x Ralsei but not Susie x Lancer

-The Fun Gang (Kris, Susie, Ralsei, Lancer, Noelle, and probably Berdly too) is their friend group, right? It wouldn’t make sense for the five of them to be teens, and for Lancer to be the only one who’s a child. Deltarune is clearly a story about teenagers finding their place in the world

-King wouldn't have trusted a child with something as important to him as destroying Lightners

-The Jack of Spades (the card which Lancer represents) is associated with a young man, not a child

-The thing I absolutely can't stand is how people who headcanon Lancer as a little kid act like their headcanon is canon and somehow think that 'they're right while others 'are wrong'

-Him not understanding what a 'mom' is, if we really want to look too deep into this (which I doubt we should since Toby's characters are often comically exaggerated and act sillier than 'normal'), could have something to do with how Darkeners are created in the first place. We don't know anything about them if you think about it. Whether they are 'born' or not, or if they even age. Maybe everyone in the Dark World will always remain the way they are physically. We don't know yet

-Queen adopting him in order to take care of him makes sense, considering he is, you know, a minor. Saying he doesn't need a mother figure is like saying Kris doesn't need Toriel

-In the live stream I mentioned earlier, the team talked about Lancer's original concept art, and announced how he was originally going to ride a motorcycle (making him 16). I don't imagine that they'd age him down from 16 to, let's say, 10 years old ↓

-Another thing that might contribute to people seeing him as a "little kid" is his design. What I mean by this is how Lancer's "eyes" (if that face he made was canon and not just a meme) are not in alignment with the eyes of, let's say, Kris and Ralsei. I'm certain this has to do with his species (the spade he has for a head isn't a hoodie but a part of his body; I came to this conclusion after I saw how he can move the top part of his head up and down when he's happy/sad, kind of like what a dog does with its ears). And, let's imagine for a moment that the rest of the gang were the same species as Lancer; they'd all be the same height then, if we apply logic here. They'd also all be the same height if everyone were a human/goat/dino. In other words, Lancer is of completely average height for a spade. There's this logic going on in the fandom that, since Lancer isn't that tall + is goofy + isn't skinny, he's a little kid. But if he weren't chubby or immature, even if he remained on the shorter side, I 95% believe he'd be drawn normally, just like Kris is drawn

-I'm no good at math and numbers, but let's try to think logically once again. In Berdly's flashback, he and Noelle are seen participating in the spelling bee, making them 8 years old (that's the youngest kids can be in order to participate). In the present moment, they're roughly twice the size they used to be back then, right? That would make them around 15 or 16 currently, because 8+8=16. The exact same comparison can be linked to Lancer. When he was 8, he was shorter than he is now, as a teen ↓

-Also, here's a comparison of Monster Kid, Frisk, Sans, Lancer and Kris. It's clear, looking at the image below, that the first two are children, that Sans is a simply short adult, while the last two are teens ↓

-In the stream, Toby showed us some more concept art for Lancer. In this particular picture, we can see that he used Kris' height to design Lancer. Since we know Kris is a teenager, that must mean that Lancer is one too ↓ 

-Why does everyone think Lancer is younger than Susie? He could be older than her, but we don't know it, and probably never will because ages in UT were never canonized either

-"But Lancer looks up to Susie so he must be a lot younger!" I once again have to draw parallels between two fandoms. In Kung Fu Panda, Po looks up to Tigress even though they're on the same team and have similar ages. There's nothing weird about looking up to someone, whether they're older, younger, or the same age as you. Lancer idolizes Susie because she's tough, tall and physically strong (I repeat, it's all because of her species and NOT because she's older). Her age has nothing to do with her physical appearance

-Also, why do people think that when someone says 'I ship these two characters,' that automatically means they want them to do something sexual? Ships can be just romantic and sweet, you know?

-During the sleepover after chapter 2's pacifist route, Susie mentions how cool it would be if Ralsei and Lancer could come to visit the Light World and explains how Ralsei could be mistaken for Kris' cousin, as well as how Lancer would live under Kris' bed. Right after this, she excitedly says how all of them could walk to school together and be an unstoppable team. This is proof that all four of them are not only high schoolers, but also that the age gap between them isn't larger than 1 year (sophomores are between ages 15-16, so that would mean that Lancer (and probably Ralsei) is 15, while the other two are either 15 or 16). They must be sophomores because Catti has a job (Berdly too); you have to be 16, at least. Maybe 15. But definitely not younger than that. Again, no pedophilia here

-A little theory I have is that, in the end credits of the final chapter, we'll finally get to see Lancer riding a real motorcycle, but that's just what I'm hoping to see, and it may or may not age well. This would mean that he would have turned 16 by the end of the game

-Typical teeage behavior ↓

-And, most imporantly, THE TIME THE GAME ACTUALLY DEBUNKED IT. Now, I don't know how many people actually payed attention to this little moment (I found it on accident) ↓

Let's break this down into a few segments to understand it better: Lancer challenges Kris, Susie, and Ralsei to a race to their new rooms. Instead of saying "the last one there is a rotten egg," he, for the sake of the comedy and his unique speech pattern, says "the last one there is a fresh and fragrant egg" We can say that there is no deeper meaning behind this particular choice of words, but to me, a "fresh and fragrant egg" represents youth (adolescence).

Ralsei asks him why he's standing if they're supposed to be racing, and Lancer replies with: "I wanna be the egg!" According to my interpretation, he's trying to say how he wants to be "the loser," "the failure," "the underdog," or something similar. In other words, he wants to be the last/the worst.

Finally, he adds: "You won't get through your teen years without at least one Egg." Whether this is referring to how he wants to experience failure/ being the loser and finds it to be an important/essential part of growing up, or maybe there's some other meaning behind being an "Egg," it's clear as day now that he's a teenager. Any of them (Kris, Susie Ralsei, or Lancer) could have been "the egg" in this race if they had ended up last. We know that the other three are teens, and if Lancer is saying how he wants to experience being "the egg," and associates it as an essential part of being a teen, that means he's in the same boat as the others and is also a teen. "One Egg" is probably linked to failure as well, so if we translated the dialogue into a non-metaphorical one, it would go something like this:

"The last one there is a loser!"

"I wanna be the loser! You won't get through your teen years without being the loser at least once!"

So yeah, that's all the reasons why Lancer is NOT a little kid. Thanks to anyone who read all this. And if you're still gonna be a hater, then ok. Waste your time insulting random people on the internet and make them feel terrible about themselves for having an opinion (though, it's not even an opinion after the final point) about a work of fiction, instead of enjoying the things you want to enjoy and minding your own business

P.S. I may have forgotten to mention a few more arguments: 1) Lancer is strong enough to carry Susie's entire weight on his back/head; what little kid could do that? 2) Lancer's attacks are numerous and strong enough to make SUSIE, THE PHYSICALLY STRONGEST member of the team, FLINCH. 3) At the hospital, Rudy mentions something about Noelle playing a "children's" game, I think it was in ch2, gotta go check, but the point is, Rudy (and Queen, by calling them children a few times) considers these teenagers to be "children" Which honestly makes a lot of sense since they're all still under 18. 4) There is not a SINGLE "little kid" in this entire game. Let's see here... we have Kris, Ralsei, Susie, Noelle, Berdly, Temmie, Monster Teen, Snowy, Catti and Jockington... who are ALL 'big kids' (teenagers). And you're trying to tell me the only person who's 10 years old is Lancer?? Get outta here. 5) It makes sense that Deltarune is about teens. Why? Because it is supposed to be a 'more mature' game than Undertale. Teenagers go through all the stuff DT characters go through (family problems, depression, loneliness, crushes, feeling clueless about who you truly are etc.) Lancer has family problems, he used to be lonely, and he was completely misguided because of his dad. Typical teenage problems he's experiencing here. 6) I don't expect a kid who's 10 years old or less to be into motorcycles. That's logically a teen thing. Otherwise we'd see him ride normally on a bicycle with a helmet on, just wanting to play, like, you know, a child. 7) Oh yeah, and Toriel mentioned something about Susie being a bad influence on Kris, so there's that. Lancer and Noelle ("I wish I could do crazy stuff like you...") willingly look up to Susie, while Kris and Ralsei are unwillingly influenced by her (at least, Ral was). This is called *peer pressure* Because they're all teens. But Susie's dominant. So... yeah.

Anyway, I don't care what people ship. I'm fine if you hate susancer. It's not for everyone. What DOES piss me off so much though is the lack of respect Lancer gets, how he's treated as this "bouncy little pumpkin uwu" despite being one of, if not, the most useful character in the game plot-wise so far + a great comedic relief. I'm sick of him being drawn and treated as a toddler. So sick of it.

I get that the kids in the fandom still lack critical thinking, but older teens and adults, too?

In any case, I'm signing off for real this time. Thanks for reading.

[soulbanished]

Can I ask for 1, 2, 9, and 16 for Agnatha :3c

HI HI yes you can toby!! again apologies for this taking a while, i've just been having a bleh week on top of having to prepare for a camping trip

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.? agnatha is a creature resembling a gargoyle, roughly seven feet tall in height with light gray skin resembling weathered limestone. they were created by the queen shortly before the zones were established, as a sort of secondary guardian or assistant to dedan, since zone 1 is where most of the elements are produced.

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance? i don't quite have a fully fleshed out scene in mind, but the idea i have is that agnatha is an optional miniboss in zone 1 who first appears in a secret floor in the post office in shachihata.

they're in their statue form and stay completely still without talking, but if you interact with them the text would say something along the lines of 'the statue remains incognizant. make an offering?' the player then has the opportunity to give them a piece of meat from their inventory, but the amount given or the type does not matter. if you do, agnatha will appear upon first reaching alma, taking the place of the burnt elsen who gives the spiel about the meat fountains. they realize there is nothing they can do that will stop the batter's objective of purification, so they test him in combat, serving as the final obstacle between him and dedan.

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends? i've answered this before, but i think i'll take the opportunity to elaborate more - i said that agnatha used to be close with all three of the guardians, and despite clashing at times due to their similarities, agnatha took it particularly hard when they started to drift away from enoch. it's kind of funny in a pathetic way, they'll state they want nothing to do with him and go on moral tirades like "if had the same responsibilities thrust upon myself i would never resort to such horrifically amoral measures" (they would and they do) but it's all out of the desire not to forget him. agnatha does want to reconnect with him, but also refuses to face him. they're all 'fuck that guy, i am SO over it, he is NOT my friend anymore' but they are not, indeed, over it. as my friend put it "'i can't stand him' actually translates to 'i miss him i want to talk to him again'."

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know. the hair accessories agnatha wear are actually plastic, fashioned to resemble poppy seed pods. aside from the obvious fact that opium is derived from poppies, they also symbolize numbing, oblivion, and death.

[italiantnea]

#0-2_shiratama_ryuko/ I'm about to laugh

prev: 0-1 // next: 0-3

—–

She’d lie in wait for him. That morning, she’d made up her mind to do so the moment she opened her eyes.

The problem was where.

After much thinking, Shiratama Ryuuko hid in the shadow of the shoe box. When Otogiri Tobi came by, she’d jump out energetically. She’d done something similar before. That time, she hadn't particularly intended to scare him. She’d just thought, “He’s here!” and poked her head out from the shoe box’s shadow, and Tobi had been startled and stepped back.

That had been kinda fun.

She wanted to give him a real proper scare. What kind of reaction would Tobi have then? Her heart pounded with excitement imagining it. But—

As she held her breath and imagined Tobi’s expressions and behaviors, a thought bothered her.

What kind of human felt such happiness at the thought of scaring a friend?

“What do you think? Chinu…”

At times like these, Ryuuko couldn't help but talk to her well-used pochette.

“Oh no!”

She whipped her head around frantically. Luckily there was nobody around right now. If someone were there they’d think she was a freak.

Ryuuko put both hands on the pochette and sighed out a single “Phew.”

“...Huh?”

Something was strange.

‘Strange’, or rather, the pochette was rustling.

“Chinu…”

Ryuuko unzipped the pochette. Immediately, Chinu’s horns shot out. Her white fur trembled restlessly.

“Does it hurt? It’s okay, come on out.”

As Ryuuko whispered to her, Chinu pushed her body about halfway out of the pochette as if she had been waiting to do so. Her small mouth poked out between her fur and cried out, “Uchuu—”

Ryuuko nodded at Chinu and began walking. It wouldn't be a problem if Chinu were to be seen. Well, most people couldn't see her anyway. Even so, she was still somewhat concerned about attracting attention. Numerous students came and went around the shoe box.

“I don't think scaring Tobi is such a great idea either…”

Kuii.

Chinu cried out, as if to say, “Right?”

“Lying in wait…”

Maybe she was thinking about it the wrong way. She didn't have to lie in wait, she just had to wait for him somewhere.

“Would it be better to wait in the classroom?”

Uyuu. Chinu cried.

“...But for some reason I just can't feel at ease.”

Suddenly, Ryuuko stopped in her tracks.

“Am I speaking too much? I’ll seem like someone who likes to talk to themselves…”

She began walking immediately. Ryuuko walked quickly.

Chinu looked up at Ryuuko. Chinu didn't have anything that resembled eyes. But she really was looking.

When she kept Chinu in the pochette, she could act as if she wasn't there. She couldn't have Chinu looking at her like this. She always ended up being aware of her presence.

Ryuuko came to a halt on the landing of the stairs. By chance, no one was around.

“Chinu—”

She touched the pochette. About three fifths of Chinus body was outside the pochette. Despite that, she filled the inside of the pochette.

“Have you gotten bigger after all? Chinu…”

She’d been smaller in the past.

Back when her grandmother had bought her the pochette there had been plenty of space. It had been roomy.

Was she growing up steadily?

Little by little, bit by bit.

Ryuuko was the same after all. For instance, compared to three years ago when she’d been in fifth grade, her height had changed considerably. She’d grown around fifteen centimeters. But she wasn't quite aware of it herself, and she didn't particularly feel like the scenery she saw every day changed much either.

However, lately Chinu was awfully big.

It was sudden.

She’d suddenly grown bigger.

Recently.

When had it started?

“...”

Ryuuko breathed in.

Unyuu.

Chinu cried.

Some female students were climbing up the stairs. Ryuuko moved to the corner of the landing so as to not get in their way.

Her heart was pounding.

Ryuuko felt strange right then. For some time, she hadn't been thinking of anything. She probably hadn't seen or heard anything either.

She'd been spacing out.

Ryuuko slapped her temple with the palm of her left hand. She couldn't help but do this whenever she tried to remember something. She did this often during tests too. It was a habit from way back.

Why was she spacing out? Since when had her mind gone blank?

When?

That’s right.

Ryuuko had been thinking about something. Chinu. Recently, Chinu was bigger. Had she ever felt that before? Just like how Ryuuko grew taller, Chinu was growing bigger as well. That was undeniable. She’d been smaller in the past. The past. When was ‘the past’?

Lately, she’d grown bigger.

Ryuuko squeezed her eyes shut.

There it was again. It wasn't like she lost consciousness. Saying her consciousness felt faraway wasn't quite right, but it was like a white wall appeared in front of her, and her thoughts wouldn't continue beyond that point. This happened from time to time.

For instance, this happened when she tried to read books her grandfather bought her. She would encounter a difficult passage, and she couldn't understand it no matter how many times she read it. All of a sudden, she would be unable to think of anything. Afterwards, when her grandfather asked her questions, she would surely be unable to answer them, and she’d get scolded. The thought of that scared her desperately.

She’d sometimes blank out in the middle of being questioned by her grandfather too. Why aren't you saying anything? Her grandfather would yell. He’d rap on the table with his fingertips, and Ryuuko would come to her senses. Even when she apologized profusely, her grandfather wouldn't forgive her. Once he was angered, his mood wouldn't improve that easily. Thanks to that, even her grandmother would become cold.

A good for nothing child.

Whenever that happened, Ryuuko would reflect on herself.

I am a good for nothing child.

There are so many bad things about me.

A bad child.

Me, good for nothing.

I am a good for nothing child.

That’s why.

So that must be why—

And then Ryuuko would blank out again.

Kii. Chinu cried out. Did that happen first, or was it the stimulus of the footsteps and presence of someone walking up the stairs? She didn't really know.

“Ah.”

Ryuuko ran to the edge of the landing. Two male students were climbing up the stairs side by side. Both of them were in the same class as Ryuuko. The boy carrying a backpack on his back looked up at Ryuuko with upturned eyes. Otogiri Tobi’s eyes widened slightly.

“Good morning, Tobi!”

Ryuuko raised both hands in the air. It was an unconscious action.

Tobi furrowed his brows like “Eh?” and Ryuuko not only thought, “Wahh…”, but also said it out loud. 

Ryuuko was striking a strange pose indeed. This looked like she was cheering in jubilation. Though it was true her heart leapt at seeing Tobi, it wasn't to the point of cheering hooray. She put both hands down.

“Ah…”

Tobi quickly dipped his head.

“Good morning.”

“G-good morning!”

She’d said good morning just now. She’d accidentally said it again, how embarrassing.

Beside Tobi, the boy with the long bangs was dumbfounded. Of course she’d been aware that he was there, but honestly Ryuuko hadn't paid him much attention. Thinking of it now, that was quite rude.

 “Um, good morning to you too, Asamiya-kun!”

After bowing to Asamiya Shinobu, Ryuuko realized she’d just said good morning three times. Her embarrassment boiled over, and her whole body felt hot.

“...Fuah! I, really, I…”

“H—”

Tobi covered his mouth with his right elbow and looked down.

Asamiya-kun even burst out laughing.

“You sure are a funny one, O-Ryuu.”

The backpack on Tobi’s back too, laughed with a fuhaha.

On Ryuuko’s end, she found it upsetting for her embarrassment to be made fun of. She wanted to protest, but with Asamiya-kun here she couldn't talk to Baku.

Besides, seeing Tobi’s shoulders shaking as he tried to stifle his laughter, she somehow felt like none of that mattered anymore. Involuntarily, her face relaxed, and now even Ryuuko felt like laughing. She tried to hold it back, but it was no use.

“Fufu…”

Somehow she managed to hold back a stifled laugh. However, perhaps triggered by Ryuuko’s laugh, Tobi burst out a “Fu…” Ryuuko felt like screaming. Tobi had been trying so hard to hold it in. This was bad. She was getting pulled along.

“Hey man, what the hell…”

Asamiya clutched his stomach and began laughing loudly.

Ryuuko covered her face with both hands. She wasn't even sure in what way she was laughing right now. Baku grumbled, flabbergasted.

“This is beyond funny, it’s straight up weird now, you guys…”

---

prev: 0-1 // next: 0-3

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Blue Diamond Sumdac AU: With Gaz, Chara & Bumblebee (2024)

------------

[Note: when I'm able to, I will use this as a cover over at Quotev...so it will only be for here and over there. but still, "do not reblog this without my permission" because once again, I am going to be having it be here and when I'm able to, I will have it be a future cover for a chapter over at Quotev...also it might be a good idea to click on this drawing, just in case it needs to be made bigger to view it better.]

Credit for Transformers goes to Hasbro& Takara

Credit for Transformers Animated goes to Sam Register & Matt Youngberg

Credit for Undertale goes to Toby Fox

Credit for Steven Universe Series goes to Rebecca Sugar

Credit for Invader Zim goes to Jhonen Vasquez

-------------

lucky I didn't procrastinated with this too much...well sometimes it really be helped, and I do know I have been doing that at times now...

Bumblebee is suppose to show that he is aging and getting older, so the one that has that arrow pointed at a different version of him, is his older self...

younger Bumblebee is from the Year 200X, and the Bigger and Older Bumblebee is from the Year 202X.

Older Bumblebee from the year 202X, is based on and inspired by Earthspark Bumblebee, but that Older-Bumblebee is the future self of TFA-Bumblebee...Older Bumblebee is possibly around almost the same height as Bulkhead, but still being a inch shorter than him.

the Gaz in this drawing is 14 years old and is playing a new handheld Game-Slave...

Chara is holding flowers and having a sad look in their eyes.

the Sari in this drawing, is not like the one from the TFA Main Timeline.

one of the things that make her different, is that she isn't just half-human & half-cybertronian...she is also half-gem.

and her Dad is Isaac Sumdac's twin brother Ivaan Sumdac.

Ivaan met and fell in love with Blue Diamond, and Blue is able to make herself a bit smaller and was able to go in The Sumdac Tower's much smaller human size rooms, such as that secret lab of Isaac's.

after finding Ivaan's brother out cold, and a liquid metal body just there...

the next ones to touch it is Ivaan and Blue Diamond at the same time...Ivaan wasn't wearing gloves, so his DNA gets absorbed by the baby protoform/hatchling.

what it does to Blue Diamond, it causes her form to glitch and her form ends up glowing in that light that Gems appear as when they reform from their gems.

the next thing that happens is that the protoform doesn't turn into a human baby at first, it shoots from the stasis pod and into the light of Blue Diamond's body, into the spot where her womb would be.

and yeah, like what Rose did when she was going to have Steven...

Blue while still glitching a bit, ends up shape shifting a womb...

her form goes back to normal, but now she looks to be about 5 months pregnant. even though it would technically be like a day, so she could of ended up being....9 or 10 months pregnant, before she gives up her physical form to have Sari be born as a half-human & half-gem (who doesn't know she is also half-cybertronian as well.)

so her gem that she gets from her Mom, is like her Other Spark.

I wonder how many will even like this idea that has to do with Sari being Blue Diamond's daughter, and with that whole theory about Megatron being Sari's Dad as well...

well this drawing does point out that her parents are Megatron, Ivaan Sumdac and Blue Diamond.

Sari will have the same powers as her Mother, but wont be able to use her positive powers where she can make others feel happy, until she discovers it herself...and it probably wont happen until she becomes a bit older...

and weird idea is that Sari's powers that she got from her Mom, don't just work on Gems, they also work on Cybertronians.

so picture Starscream crying uncontrollably and can't seem to stop.

it could make sense given that she is half-human, her power may also work on humans too...

the reason why Blue Diamond's power didn't work on Connie or Steven's Dad, is because Blue herself wasn't half-human or human at all.

so it could make sense that if Sari could make Cybertronians and Gems cry thanks to her being part Cybertronian and Gem herself...

then her Human half could let her make other humans cry as well.

I think when I'm able to, I will do another drawing of the Sari in this drawing, the blue outfit does seem to suit her.

if Sari is able to fuse, being able to fuse with a Human, Gem and even a Cybertronian...well, she might not end up fusing right away, but it doesn't mean she is not able to.

plus if Blue Diamond wasn't the only Gem in Detroit, then Professor Sumdac could of had some Gems help raise Sari.

like it could be The Off-Colors, Pink-Pearl, Spinel, Lapis, Peridot, Bismuth, Amethyst, Garnet and Pearl.

like the whole Sari being born as Blue Diamond's daughter, could take place a year later after Steven leaves Beach City.

Blue was likely going to look for Steven, to check up on him.

but her ship had a malfunction and crashed close by where Isaac and Ivaan find Megatron.

as years go by, like around almost 50 years...

Blue and Ivaan fell in love, and they ended up getting married.

then at some point Blue became pregnant when the protoform ended up phasing into her conscious manifestation of light.

and after about 9 or 10 months later, Blue ends up giving up her physical form and Sari is born.

even though I don't want this drawing to be reblog without my permission, but I'm still going to use the drawing as a cover for a chapter over at Quotev.

but if any are interested in drawing this version of Sari, who is the half-human/half-cybertronian/half-gem daughter of Blue Diamond.

well, those who are interested in drawing the Half-Gem Sari, have my permission and no need to ask. but remember to give credit.

I'm not 100% sure if some will be interested in drawing this version of Sari or not, but I'm saying this in case some do end up liking this Crossover AU version that is the daughter of Blue Diamond.

who knows, maybe someone will end up making a fan comic about Sari being the daughter of Blue Diamond.

I also want to say that Sari would already know that she is half-human & half-gem, that is just something her Dad and Uncle can't hide from her. so they would have to tell her the truth with the half of the gems that are living in Detroit, about her Gem heritage.

unlike the other Sari, she does go to school with other kids and only learns from Tutor-Bot at home when she needs to, like maybe during Fridays where she has to learn extra stuff, like about The Homeworld and Crystal Gem War, and this could of been added to Tutor-Bot by Pearl and even Peridot.

anyway even if some not be very interested in the idea of Sari being Half-Human/Cybertronian & Half-Gem...

but I hope some do end up liking the idea about her being Blue Diamond's Daughter. even if it is in a Crossover AU in a Fanon Timeline..."Blue Diamond Sumdac AU" is the best name I could come up with for that Crossover AU idea.

[blue-opossum]

"Terra Cotta" (Giant Cobra from Another World)

        "Terra Cotta" (Giant Cobra from Another World)

        Sunday morning, 30 November 1974

        I have abridged and edited this report for clarity. I was 13 when I had this dream (this version). There were several versions because of my lifelong interest in recreating dream narratives while in the dream state, some of which I built on for years. I have also included new AI images, though they could be better.

        The west wall of an underground utility room (fictitious area) in my middle school building has a "portal" into another world. I feel adventurous, entering a long, hidden tunnel (silver "hall" that seems like a giant ventilation system). I anticipate a science-fiction narrative as my dream's content. As I walk through it, I hear the metallic sound of my shoes against the "floor." The walls, floor, and ceiling are like aluminum but thicker. I am uncertain at which point I am "in" the "other" world. I see a pipe leaking green sludge that is jutting from one wall. There is a river through one section of the "hall." At times, it is maze-like.

        The "other" world features an "alien" zoo, but I only ever see a giant tan cobra. The men who maintain the zoo have purple and white skin with a zebra pattern. They wear green coveralls. (I call them "Zebra Men." They are somewhat reminiscent, in essence, of a Dr. Seuss character.)

        The cobra, when upright, is about the same height as the men, about six feet. I am unaware of the planet's name. The cobra is called "Terra Cotta." It is part of a (fictitious, I assume) poem that continues with "Naja Hannah."

        The cobra gets out of its cage (due to an unknown event) shortly after I arrive in the other world. Eventually, I decide to leave, and it follows me, though I am never wary of it.

         Although I discuss with schoolmate Charles D. as he sits on his bicycle and Steve J. how we can trap it to return it to its world (with Kenneth H. being in a later version), there is also the idea of using it for a moneymaking endeavor such as a carnival. I consider writing a science-fiction story (or book) as well.

        I started trying to summon cobras in dreams when I was 5 (never very concerned or wary because I knew it was my imagination - though I had recurring dreams during that time of trying to create a cobra in a hayloft - but it did not often work). There is also an occasional spontaneous link to vestibular-motor dynamics (REM atonia causality) because of swaying.

        In real life, I had told Toby I would be writing a story called “Terra Cotta” (based on my dream). He responded with “Interesting title” (without knowing about the content). (I had a false recall of there being a war movie with that title.) However, my main focus remained on continual dream journal entries.

[tasap-official]

BEFORE THE NIGHT ONCE FELL

An original poem

The warm morning lights still drop down with dew,

With my eyes to the sunlight, only to catch a few,

The green scenery that awaits me treats me to its call;

I can only wonder how great it is to know what I saw,

To know and to live life.

I must tell you, the most beautiful thing I saw

Was the truth by a path way, where the critters crawled;

Two young ones, much younger than me,

Two young girls, two beauties to see,

Chatting and playing in the green.

Their hairs flew and glittered in the air,

Their lips moved as though there was no care;

Side by side, the girls shared moments,

Laughed, joked, played in excitement,

And then it came to me ...

"Talk and talk, talk as you might, 

Let your voice sound high above the heights;

Kids are wiser than most humans know,

They know who friends are, so no grudge they hold,

True friends are friends who don't chat alone."

There was another time, during the heat of day,

When the dews had all dried, and time too small to waste,

Walking by the yellow, and staring at the blue,

I trod across the shore way, beside the ocean view,

Walking and thinking about life.

Quickly, an accident, and I was sure to fall,

Two teenage 'Messis' pushed me, dashing after a ball;

I looked around and caught my breath

And saw the boys who'd broken my rest,

Running and chasing in the sand.

Side by side, with their hands swinging through the air,

Their legs running and galloping, like the wheels of the fair;

Sweat dribbling, laughter bustling,

Arm over arm, the boys there smiling,

And then it came to me ...

"Do, do, whatever you wish

Don't give a damn or just give it quick;

Kids have companions 'cause they're the same at heart,

You cannot make friends for them, you cannot choose or chart,

For true friends are play pals and are the same."

Yet again, before the night once fell,

Whether yesterday or last year, I really can't tell;

I was strolling up the hill way, up and down the heights,

And could see the city faraway - oh what a place of sight!

An evening for all mankind.

It dawned on me too late, that under a tree

Could be the best of love, there, it looked like a dream!

Two young people sitting under the tree,

Young grown-ups, male and female, their eyes together did meet,

Looking and loving under the leaves.

These two tender birds, their hands clasped,

Side by side they were, ignoring who passed;

With eyeball to eyeball, they spoke to one another,

With compassion and truth, professed devotion to each other,

And then I knew the words to say ...

"Oh what love! How boundless it is!

How it longs for all to be under its wings!

Kids know better how to share the gift of love;

With innocence and simplicity, they'll rise higher than the sun,

For true friends are friends whose love never ends."

What have you to say to me now,

That friendship is cheap, is simple and sound?

Tell you what, sadly, you don't know

That the gift of love is eternal, or do you have to be told

Why Love has brought you into this world?

Then again, it is the truth to tell,

"True friends know that true love is never self."

So here I stand, by way of the green, shores and leaves,

And here I am, I declare my greatest defeat 

In my battle against Love, now this I say:

"Friendship, for me, is all that matters today, 

And I cannot lie but cry, that love empowers life;

So say what you want, do what you want

Yet I will never deter from what I was taught ...

"True friends are a blessing that ever to life was brought,

They are never alone, they are the same, their love never ends."

Loved this poem? Then why not share and leave a comment? That'll be really appreciated :-)

Tobi Ayeni

Photo by Jack Redgate

[actualmythicalcreature]

Tagged by straight-strychnine. Not tagging anyone else though because I have a cold and I'm sleepy 😴

Nickname: 𝕋𝕒𝕓𝕓𝕚 is my preference but over  the years people have called me: Tabbycat,  Little Tab, Tobi, Toots, BabySnakes, and now BayBee.

Sign: Libra

Height: 5"3

Last thing I googled: "ghost template pathfinder" - my D&D character is attempting to cheat death and may end up as a ghost briefly in the process and I wanted to figure out which of my spells and abilities will work and which won't. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Number of Followers: 4563

Amount of Sleep: I sleep from 3am - 10am most nights. That's when my body naturally wants to sleep. It makes functioning in the world a little difficult though.

Lucky number: 69 😎 nah I don't actually have one 🅻O🅻 😅

Favorite color: Purple, because it's not real (where the shrimp colors live). And then also the entire area of the color spectrum where green meets blue (cyan, teal, turquoise, mint, etc)

Dream job: Writer and Artist - which I allready am, but in the dream: it actually makes me money. 😅

Movies/Books that summarize me: Lilo and Stitch (autism) ʀᴏꜰʟ (˃̣̣̥▽˂̣̣̥๑).

Favorite song: right now- Trouble Follows Me by Antiflag, of all time - Diamonds and Gold by Tom Waits

Favorite instrument: Acoustic guitar is what I played before all the arthritis.

Aesthetic: oh Ｆｕｃｋ. Depends on the day? I cultivate and collect vibes and wear them like costumes. If it were up to me, I'd have a house of different rooms each with radically different vibes. Like - oh here's the 50's diner kitchen, the dark academia solarium and greenhouse, the high fantasy room I play tabletop rpg's in, the pop art comic book livingroom and media center, the spa bathroom, the pastel plush filled play room, the lofi galaxy bar and lounge, the sex dungeon, the punk trash rock music room, the west coast contemporary back patio.... I could go on. And on. Love me a good vibe.

Favorite author: many of my faves over the years turned problematic with time and so now I refuse to state a Favorite because im afraid it's some sort of curse. I'm currently re-enjoying the Hitchhiker's series so we'll say I'm fond of Douglas Adam's and hopefully that will be safe because it's harder to become problematic when you're dead. I could say Tolkien for the same reason.

Favorite animal noise: whale songs.

Random: uhhh..... I got nothing.

[eurazba]

Claire internally: Oh god why did I marry these two idiots.

Based on my mom and I playing Rock’em Sock’em Robots with our party blowers last night for New Years.

[enquiringangel]

Madara&Obito au where they find out a way to actually give Madara some form of immortality so instead of leaving Obito to deal with all shit alone and dying Madara lives and they both somehow form plans and do things towards goals

Obito still very much grows to hate him maybe even more than in canon cuz here he has to deal with him Every Day of his life imagine what a nightmare

Okay so, this is not MadaObi because Obito is still a kid. BUT if I took this concept and ran with it then it could definitely turn into another long-winded slowburn AU and I am sorely tempted!!!

Anyway, here's your teaser:

-x-x-x-

The truth was beautiful in its simplicity: all he had needed to do to finally awaken the Rinnegan, was to die. To think he hadn’t known this! He should’ve known. It was hidden plainly in the ancient lore of shamans, who travelled out of their bodies to be devoured and then remade from the same stuff as the spirits who ate them. Not a physical death, but a death nonetheless. And what was the physical world anyway? Nothing but a bad dream.

Madara returned from the borderlands of death with the Rinnegan gleaming violet in his sunken eyesockets, and the hands he raised to touch his face were still lined and knotted with great age. He was a Saviour with great power, but no strength. One stiff breeze might do him in. No, that just wouldn’t do at all.

So he chose a successor, a child of the Uchiha clan who could carry on his great work and revive him at the right moment.

The child died.

He had not been strong enough, and Hashirama’s cells had overwhelmed him. The twisted corpse had branches erupting from its mouth and eyes, pale white flowers blooming in the darkness of the cave.

Several other failed experiments had followed over the years, until at last he found Obito.

He had known somehow, that this one was different. He looked into the boy’s scarred face and could see flashes of the naïve child he had once been, so long ago. He was reminded of another boy as well. He could picture the pair they had made; two boys meeting by the riverside in the midst of a war, crafting their foolish dreams.

His plans for Obito were all laid in out, when an experiment with the Gedō Mazō made them obsolete.

Madara had been tethered to the shell of the Juubi for years, with its power the only thing that was keeping him still breathing. So why hadn’t it occurred to him to seal it into himself in the first place? The bijuu had to be sealed into it in order, starting with the Shukaku and ending with the Kyuubi, but his mistake had been in thinking that this couldn’t be done with the Gedō Mazō already sealed into a jinchuuriki. Oh, how Mito would’ve mocked him if she were here.

Empty though it was, the husk of the old nature god was a powerful thing, and the moment he sealed it into himself Madara was left breathless and shaking with ecstasy as vitality surged through his veins and renewed his youth. He was crazed in his delight, the sound of his laughter echoing through the caverns beneath the Mountain’s Graveyard. His creations—the White Zetsu and Uchiha Obito—looked on with astonishment as he rose to his full height, his back strong and no longer stooped with age.

“Whoa! Madara-sama, why didn’t you tell us you were having some work done?” exclaimed Tobi. The spiral-faced Zetsu moved in close and grasped Madara’s arm, flexing his elbow and feeling the muscles of his upper arm while the other Zetsu all chattered among themselves excitedly. Since nothing could currently spoil his good mood, Madara raised an eyebrow but magnanimously permitted it.

Obito, who was still wearing Tobi like a suit of armour, looked deeply chagrined by this ridiculous behaviour. “Would you cut that out?” he hissed. “These are my arms too you know!”

“Not at the mo-ment~ Obitobi~”

Madara tuned out the Zetsu nonsense through the ease of long practice, nudging the intrusive hands away absently. His mind was racing. Yes, there was nothing that could ruin his happiness. He would go to Amegakure and take his eyes back, and then, then there would be nothing that he could not accomplish.

Which meant that there was no need for Obito any longer, he supposed. His eyes flicked to the boy in question. For the first time since he’d come back to the cave after bathing in the blood of those Mist shinobi, Obito looked…lost. As well he might, Madara supposed. He would have to be reminded of his place in the scheme of things.

“Enough now,” he said, cutting through the Zetsus’ inane babbling effortlessly, as if he’d actually slit their throats. “There’s much to be done, and it’s past time I got a move on.” The hem of his robe swished around his calves as he crossed over to the wall where his weapons hung, lifting down his kusarigama and battle fan. He looked back over his shoulder expectantly, his lone Sharingan blazing in the gloom.

“Are you coming, Obito?”