#i am so sorry to report that tom fucks

[afro-hispwriter]

SECRET

Ewan Mitchell, Tom Glynn-Carney, Matt Smith x actress!F!Reader(separate, not specified who, and they will only be referred to as He or his)

Summary- its a love behind closed doors

-

The premiere was huge, fans yelling, flashes of cameras and reporters trying to get the attentions of all the guests and cast. 

"Y/N OVER HERE!"

"Y/N GIVE US A SMILE."

“JUST ONE PICTURE.”

Your manager led you to a clear walkway where photographers were lining up. You posed for a few seconds, eyes searching the crowd, looking at only a few cameras.

You knew he was staring already. With those perfect blue eyes, the blue eyes that make making your skin burn, made your body burn. 

You locked eyes with him, but pulled away quickly.

You had to let him know you knew. 

Your manager then les you over to an interviewer.

“Hi Y/n how are you!?” She asks and you smiled.

“Im doing great thanks for asking.”

“So you’re officially a rising star and have been named one of the actresses with the most potential, how does that feel?” She asks and you take in a deep breath.

He was there, right out the corner of your eye and he was getting close. 

“Honestly it makes me feel really proud of myself, a lot of people said I wouldn’t make it but here I am.” You laughed awkwardly.

Closer

“Thats great to hear, now i have to ask. That kiss scene with-.” You immediately cut her off, feeling your body heat up.

“Oh yes, it was a very good kiss, my first on screen kiss, im quite happy it was him.” 

He was maneuvered past people and thats when he passed by you. Your heart started racing and you couldn’t help but turn around. That asshole was already smirking at you. But it couldn’t help but make you stammer.

“S-Sorry about that.” You giggle and she couldn’t help but give you a knowing look. Your manager pulled you away again for more pictures.

“Its time to take a picture with-.”

“Fuck.” You mumbled as you watch him adjust his jacket and set his hands clasped together in front of him. It didn’t take long until he saw you and opened a hand out in your direction. You slowly stepped forward and wrapped an arm around his waist, but he instantly pulled you into a friendly hug(from the crowds view at least). 

“You look absolutely gorgeous.” He whispered and you smiled into his shoulder. 

“Thank you and you don’t look bad yourself.” 

“Smile.” You turned and instantly posed with him. His hand that rested on your upper back had made its way down to rest on your tailbone, just above your ass.

“Careful.” You warned and he chuckled.

“I have always kept my relationships out of the media, I know what Im doing.” He says, having to lean down so you could hear. You walked together to another section. “Happy it was me?” 

“Hmm.” You say still looking out to the cameras.

“That I was the one who kissed you.” His hand snaked around to rest on your side making your breath hitch. “Lets go inside.” He led you inside, keeping a hand on your lower back. He guided you through the people inside, only nodding at them in greeting before pushing you into a more secluded area(that area being a storage closet).

“You sir are getting much more bold.” You smile and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Can you blame me?” He pulled you in closely and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Let me kiss you.” He pushed his nose into your temple before starting to put kiss down your face, getting closer to your lips. He changed direction and kissed behind your ear, making your stomach flutter. You turned your head and he smirked before pushing his lips against yours. 

You missed his lips so much

“We cant.” You mumble. “Not now.” Your threaded your fingers into his well done hair and his hands slipped down to grab yourself ass. He pulled back, letting your lips make a loud pop. 

“We should leave right now to my hotel room, order in, got that movie you wanted to watch.” 

“Tempting, I have an idea what we can do while we wait for food.” You looked him the eyes, giving him a sultry look to tell him what you mean. He bit his lip and your heard a deep groan in his throat.

“I like how you think.” He sealed your lips again and pushed you into the walk. He pushed his tongue in your mouth and let out a small gasp. He grabbed your ass again before lifting his hands and delivering a not so soft blow to your ass, making a slapping sound. You squealed and pulled away.

“Okay lets go.” You giggled and grabbed his hand and grabbed the door knob. He dropped your hand as you made it back through the crowds, putting on the innocent facade.

Secret relationships makes everything interesting.

-

A/n- first time trying something like this, send me a Ewan request 

[trekkietales]

Pon Farr

Vorik x reader

Fandom: Star Trek

Requested: no

Captain’s log:

so i started watching voyager again and i can’t get Vorik out of my head. And no one posts for him. So yes this is just to fulfill my need of a random side vulcan.

You were a new crew member and even though you can do a lot you were told to report to engineering. You have been there a week and everyone was so welcoming. Except a certain vulcan.

“I just don’t understand. Why doesn’t he like me? I am super nice and helpful. Even tuvok likes me so its not a vulcan thing.” My best friend Tom Paris just shrugs.

“I can’t help you. I don’t know him well. All i can say is-“ Tom was cut off by the vulcan himself.

“Excuse me (y/n), i need help with something” There was something about his eyes but I couldn’t place the look. I nodded and told him to lead the way.

Once we get there i notice it was stuff that Vorik is proficient at and it was simple and he shouldn’t need help with at all.

“Vorik, I don’t mean to pry but why did you ask for my help? You do this everyday and never need help.”

“I wanted to be alone with you. I needed to propose something to you.” I nodded, though I was confused. “Do you happen to know what Pon Farr is?” I gave a slight nod, and he understood that I wasn’t an expert but knew he could continue his speech. “I wish to ask you to bond with me.”

“You have barely talked to me. Are you sure we would bond well?” I was worried he would make the wrong choice.

"Yes, I have observed you with the others, and you will make a fine mate. Meet me at my quarters at 5 for dinner, please,” and with that, he turned and walked away, leaving me confused.

I dug through all my clothes and decided on a red dress, red heels, and a nude makeup look, letting my hair out of its tight bun.

I knocked on his door at 4:49 and waited patiently until he opened the door. When he did, his normal neutral look turned dark. I had wondered if I had picked the wrong outfit, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the room.

“You look divine. I almost want to rip that dress off.” The combination of his deep voice and dark eyes went straight to my core.

“I was hoping you would,” I said, looking in his eyes.

“How much do you know about Pon Farr?”

“Just that you need to mate or you could die.”

“Mating doesn’t mean just sex; it also means to bond mentally. If you are not okay with that, I would recommend you leave now.”

“I am ready for anything.”

“I will also state this could take hours or even days before I will be able to stop.”

“Days!” Your yell caught him off guard and he gave a sad look. You knew instantly that he thought you were leaving him.

“Yes, days.” He looked down.

“I am sorry I yelled. I just wasn’t expecting you to say days. But i am here for you however long it may take.” I smiled at him brightly.

“Thank you. Now if you are ready, I would like to start.” I nodded. I felt like my voice would give out if i tried to talk.

Vorik put his hand against my face and i melted into him. He then put his hand up against my temple down to my jaw. I had no idea what he was doing until i felt it. Or rather him. I felt the way he yearned for me. I felt how needy he was for me.

“I am assuming by the way you are looking at me it worked.” I was about to answer when he held his hand up.

“Answer in your mind.” I felt our bond grow stronger by the second as we communicated.

Vorik kissed me and the need between us built until he pick me up bridal style and threw me on his bed.

The quiet Vulcan i knew was gone. He was now almost moaning words into my ear.

“Tell me what you want.”

“That’s my good girl.”

“Use your words.”

And a slew of Vulcan that i had no clue what it meant. Though i could definitely tell it was dirty. I had finally found my voice.

“You, I want you.”

“What about me?” He wanted me to say it.

“I want you to fuck me!” I couldn’t take his teasing anymore.

“Such dirty words for such an innocent looking woman.” His teasing continued as he pulled up my dress. His hand slowly going up my leg to the spot i needed him most.

“Please stop teasing me Vorik.” I tried to sound annoyed but my voice came out in a needy whisper.

“If i go the speed i want to go, i will break you.” I know it was supposed to be a warning but i couldn’t help but be turned on.

“Do it. Break me Vorik.” As i looked into his eyes I saw his control break.

Vorik flipped me over and put me on my hands and knees. He ripped my underwear off in one tug. It was a good thing I was already wet for him because he plunged himself into me.

"oh god!" His moves faltered a tiny bit to make sure I was okay. When he saw me, his speed became relentless.

Three hours went by before he even slowed down. When he was done, he pulled out of me and helped me lay down. "I am sorry. Did I go too hard?" Seeing him care so much was so cute.

“No, I am absolutely okay. I thought there would be more, to be honest." I tried joking with him, then I saw his smug smile.

"We are not done yet. This is what you guys would call a cool-down. Get some sleep, and I will wake you when I need you again."

"Please don't leave me while I sleep."

"I will be right here by your side the entire time."

I slept better than I have in my entire life. I was awoken by hands roaming my body. I opened my eyes and saw Vorik leaning over me. He noticed I was awake when his eyes met mine.

"I am sorry. I was starting to need you, but I didn't want to wake you yet."

"Don't you dare apologize. I said I was here to help." He smiled at me.

"This time is going to be about you." I was confused until he positioned his head between my legs.

"Vorik, I appreciate you wanting to do this, but don't you need me to take care of you?"

"The more we have sex, the more control I will have. And while I have complete control, I want to thank my fiancee." He could tell I was confused about him calling me his fiancee.

"When we bonded, that was me asking you to marry me. If you want it reversed, we can go back to my planet and ask the council to sever our bond."

"Absolutely not! I just didn't know that was what you meant by bonding. I am honored and excited to be your partner."

His eyes grew wide, and I could tell that he had never heard anything like that from anyone. Without saying another word, he dove into me. His lips wrapped around my clitoral area, and I could see stars. Before I knew it, I had come three times.

"I can see by your face that you are tired again. Would you like a nap?"

"No, I want to take care of you." He raised his eyebrow. I turned us over and slowly undid his pants. His member was hard and begged to be freed.

"Please don't tease me." I expected his voice to be commanding, but it was needy. If I were more mean, I would have gone slower, but seeing him beg made me want to help him more.

I pulled out his member and licked a stripe up to the tip. His eyes rolled back into his head. I took him into my mouth fully and continued to please him until he pulled away. I looked up, thinking I had done something wrong.

"It would be a waste to come anywhere but inside your womb." He mounted me again, and we went another four rounds before he was able to stop. We laid down and talked about what being engaged to a Vulcan meant.

When I started my new job, I never thought I would find my soulmate. But I am glad I did.

Captain’s log:

okay so i might’ve gotten carried away. But i had fun writing this. Hope you all enjoy it. And like i always say my requests are open!

[jaggedwolf]

pll rewatch 2x01-2x03

new season, a forced separation, an unexplained greenhouse set

the introduction of one Dr Anne Sullivan. Shares a name with Helen Keller's instructor for no discernible reason, she is played by an actor known to the contemporaneous recappers I've been reading, because more than one of them go "Oh, it's Annabeth Gish!"

She was in 27 episodes of The X-Files and 6 episodes of The West Wings, both shows I'd expect TV recappers to have watched

Another sleepover, featuring the liars revolting against the strength of Spencer's coffee

They don't even get to have coffee because all non-military and non-Tom parents are assembled to tell the girls (1) yeah we think you're making shit up (2) you have to go to grief counseling because you are too obsessed with your friend's death

Our 2010s suburban teenagers are like we don't want to go therapy because we are not crazy (note: Spencer and Hanna are most negative on this topic)

Emily is traumatizing herself by rewatching the Jenna-Toby video, and then gets traumatized by Pam letting a broker go "get rid of all personality from this room asap". Pam work on your scheduling

Spencer on one couch while her parents + Melissa are on the opposite: will this framing ever change?

I'm just saying, in the supposedly unlikely event your daughter and her friends aren't lying...she almost fucking died! Give her a little comfort!

Caleb's apology is very good sad boy, but more than that or Hanna not getting back with him, what I enjoy in this early season era is that there is no secret noble motivation. He did a shitty thing for selfish reasons, because he dismissed everyone involved as rich pretty girls, it isn't more complicated than that and doesn't need to be

Spencer trying on sexy(?) shirts for Toby when it's like. The dude's hair has gotten worse and you know he just put on a random t-shirt and jeans. Also he won't care.

Anw the show has remembered that Toby and Emily are friends. would love for them to be able to hang out without a Spencer motivator, but you know, custody's been transferred

It is a sweet scene, I like Toby immediately taking out his knife and Emily going :0 and Toby going it's okay, I've already gotten my teen carpenter upgrades, I will fix it up (and he does, as we see in the background later)

only Ezra comment is that they painted on his abs LOL please that man does not go to the gym

Jar of Hearts plays as all the girls are really emo about Sullivan-endorsed and parent-enforced separation between them. love that they are so distraught by this

and Spencer freaking out so badly once she hears a sound outside. Spencer :(

I say "parent-enforced" very loosely because all four girls sneak out at night to meet at a greenhouse. It's a great-looking set but where is this greenhouse whose is this greenhouse why is this greenhouse. Is this a public property. Did they break into the local botanical gardens.

It's probably abandoned. Classic.

Okay later episodes show them constantly passing Alison's house when leaving the greenhouse. Do Spencer's parents own a greenhouse nearby.

Emily should be more upset about her laptop being wiped, beyond the videos, like that's all her shit!!!

okay i guess Emily doesn't use her laptop that much, I am projecting

very funny to me that the first Emily/Samara scene this season is at a swim meet. does Paige notice this or is she too busy going insane because there is a scout here and her dad is going well there's the scout too bad you aren't anchor huh

Probably she does not notice because she is laser-focused on swimming and in her "ignore Emily unless we are literally doing a relay together" era. Good/bad for her

Sorry you will continue to get my theories on what Paige is up to when not on-screen. Until I crack and fic it.

Random break-ins happen, reported by Pam. god 2024 pam would be on NextDoor huh

A ring camera would solve a lot of problems in rosewood

Toby is the saddest unemployed boy in the world and Spencer would like to be his sugar mommy. 100% believe Spencer would be good at that

Honestly who cares if she lost Melissa's ring, Melissa sucks, so does Ian, the Hastings can easily afford another ring.

Spencer saying "I wanted to say it first" in response to Toby's ILU and still not saying "I love you too"....Spencer will Win even at love

Aria got fucking shoved into that lamp holy hell, forget her wrist her torso probably should get iced

Samara and Emily have a conversation about first girlfriends

Samara is already kind of boring, I'm surprised they don't kiss in this episode

There's a flashback where Spencer and Emily were going to have a sleepover before Ali crashed. i should be commenting something intelligent about this being the rare chink in Ali's armor, instead i want to know everything about flashback-era Spemily sleepovers

Look it's rare evidence of the liars having individual friendships back then, and they are quite cute in their little sleepover outfits of Spencer's pajamas and Emily's hoodie

Spencer is so fragile-looking when she asks Melissa if she'd protect her....oh Spencer, I'm glad you have Toby and his abs right now

I am also glad you have nightmares where you discuss theories with your friends at the movie theatre while a black-and-white horror film plays. Going to count this as Emily influence

Emily tells her mom it's Paige calling when the landline rings and Pam goes sure and moves on, and like, I have so many questions. obviously the Fields and the McCullers know each other from the swimming but last time Pam saw Paige's dad, he was being a real dick.

has Emily told her mom that Paige isn't a real dick, was Pam at home when Paige came over in 1x20? many possibilities, given that Pam is not confused or disturbed by the phone call claim

Emily you could have said any random swim teammate

I still really like the Aria-Jenna scene, that Aria's forced to listen to what Jenna lost and that Jenna is tricked into revealing this vulnerability to one of the liars - very pretty lighting here too

Hanna's plot is kinda whatever to me these episodes, it's her parents flirting, Mona, Lucas

I like that she and Lucas are friends again already, but I am doubtful of her strategy in getting Lucas a date. love him and Caleb being bros though, I wonder what Caleb wanted from the hardware store

When A was petting the dog all I could think was that in a darker show, A would've snapped that dog's neck at the end of it...

Pam talks to Emily about her sexuality again after looking at Emily's kid stuff and that makes Emily tear up the forged letter - I forgot that Pam brings it up of her own accord here, and it is nice that don't have it be and all settled thing after yelling at Nick McCullers

was distracted in the whole car scene about the forged letter because (1) is this the first hanna-aria-emily scene we get where it's not because spencer is off somewhere else getting almost murdered? (2) hanna somehow thinks emily's forgery skills can get her into harvard. hanna wants emily to re-use a stamp from an old letter she has. hanna what the hell

[lilaccrxsh]

So this post is only for me to answer these for a discord server with all the gifs/photos in one place. Not all the gifs are mine, most I've picked up over time, but I'm not tagging this post so hopefully they won't be credited to me accidentally.

And I've also not answered some stuff because I just couldn't think :)

Day 1: Favorite photoshoot

Vogue Oct 1993 (the fact I know that without checking is horrific...)

Day 2: Funniest scene

First one that came to mind was "I'M JUMPING OUT OF A WINDOW!" from MI Fallout 🤣

Day 3: Saddest scene

Minority Report 1:57:00 (if I give the timestamp then I don't spoil anything and those that have watched it will know)

Day 4: Most attractive character

Brian Flannagan man like just look at him

Day 5: Who are you least like

Ok so without picking a character I blatantly dislike and just saying that... Jerry Maguire. I like to think I'm not that cringe fail and weird. Although I would nick a fish from a fishtank if I was fired...but I wouldn't do the cringe fail speech that came with it.

Day 6: Who are you most like

Honestly... Danny Kaffee 😅 not for the lawyering, just for the sarcasm and general manner 😅 like this is the short of shit I'd come out with

Day 7: Favorite costar

Elisabeth Shue (Cocktail). I just think she's fucking great, and she's Val Kilmer's co-star in one of my fave Val movies so. Or Michelle Monaghan because she's ALSO fucking great and has been both Tom and Val's co-star.

Day 8: Favorite kiss

The one in Edge of Tomorrow. It's just so ugh GOOD! They think they're gonna die, might be the last time Rita and Bill may see each other... and it's not even a snog. It's just let's press our fucking lips together because ily and I want you to know it because we fucking die.

Day 9: Favorite rom com

Cocktail (1988)... what a fucking shocker 😂

Day 10: Favorite villain character

Day 11: Favorite movie soundtrack

Top Gun: Maverick. It's literally the shit I listen to normally 😂 T.Rex... The Who... even Lady Gaga 😂

Day 12: Guilty pleasure movie of his

Oh God I can't mention Cocktail again can I? 😅😂 too bad I just did.

Day 13: Movie that disappointed you the most

I legally am refusing to answer this so no one comes at me with a pitchfork 🤣

Day 14: Favorite quote

So the first one that came to mind was "You complete me." from Jerry Maguire and even though that's not exactly original... I just love it. Like God it's a good line isn't it...

But also from MI Fallout, "I don't understand what I'm involved in? I don't understand what I'm involved in? ... What am I involved in?"

Day 15: Movie everyone should watch

A Few Good Men

Day 16: Last movie you watched

Top Gun: Maverick. Found out my final degree classification and celebrated with a Top Gun double bill, pizza and proseco.

Day 17: First pic in your phone

Mother I'm so sorry... in my defense I'd saved it for meme worthy opportunities...

Day 18: First gif in your phone

I'd resaved pride!ethan from MI2

Day 19: First movie you remember seeing

Honestly, I really am not sure but it was probably MI1 because I have this memory of it being on the TV and tiny me watching the hanging from the ceiling scene.

Day 20: Favorite movie

A Few Good Men

Day 21: Least favorite movie

Magnolia

Day 22: Favorite character in general

Danny Kaffee 😌 he's my tiny lil angry kitten boy

Day 23: Least favorite character

That bitch boy from Magnolia

Day 24: Movie you never get tired of

A Few Good Men

Day 25: Favorite interview

Anything on Graham Norton. Like for some reason I find it fucking hilarious that one time when Tom speaks to some women on an audience member's phone 🤣

Day 26: Favorite award monologue

Day 27: Which of his films do you think he should have been nominated for an Oscar for

Ok so I'm not going to say which role he should have been nominated for I'm going to say he should have WON for Born On The Fourth Of July

Day 28: Favorite 90s movie

A Few Good Men (damn that's been mentioned a lot I wonder why 🤭🫡)

Day 29: Favorite premiere outfit

The Top Gun (1986) premiere. This shirt is fucking iconic because he never stopped wearing it and it's so good.

Day 30: Favorite quote/scene that makes you feel hormonal even when you may not be

Ok so you're gonna get a list (no particular order) because this is my post and I make the rules (I cannot pick just one):

1. The very end of Edge of Tomorrow. Like this. Just this.

2. Top Gun (1986) when Ice and Mav are in the locker room after Goose's death.

3. The hug at the end of Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.

4. MI Fallout "Benji I won't let anything happen to you."

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat

Chapter 1 (AO3)

Originally posted on 1/22/2024

Summary:

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

OFFICIAL archive discord

#general

hibitchcus flower just slid into the server.

hibitchcus flower just changed their nickname to TIM TAM TOM

Turbo nerd as in the movie joined the party.

TIM TAM TOM just changed Turbo nerd as in the movie's nickname to sash (❁´◡`❁)

sash (❁´◡`❁): Acceptable only because of the kaomoji

Good to see you, Blackwood, Martin

TIM TAM TOM: ugh god marto please tell me you just made that account 5 minutes ago

Blackwood, Martin: I'm sorry I've literally never heard of Discord!!

sash (❁´◡`❁): Give him a break he probably thought it was an official work thing

sash (❁´◡`❁): Directly affiliated with the Magnus Institute, London

TIM TAM TOM: please sash no jon references this early in the morning

Blackwood, Martin: It's 11:30?

TIM TAM TOM: if it's the AM it's too early in the morning

sash (❁´◡`❁): You voluntarily wake up at six, don't act like you're one of us

Blackwood, Martin: You're a morning person?

sash (❁´◡`❁): He goes to bed no later than 10 pm except for on special occasions

TIM TAM TOM: why would you call me out like this

TIM TAM TOM: im wounded

Blackwood, Martin: You should be

sash (❁´◡`❁): You should be

TIM TAM TOM: youre ganging up on me already i see how it is

TIM TAM TOM: also your name is giving me hives

TIM TAM TOM just changed Blackwood, Martin's nickname to MARTY PARTY

MARTY PARTY: Now I'm getting hives

sash (❁´◡`❁): You can change it in the top left corner

MARTY PARTY: Thank you!!

MARTY PARTY just changed their nickname to mahtin

mahtin: There, more acceptable

TIM TAM TOM: what did i JUST say about jon references

mahtin: You don't pronounce the 'r' in my name either? Nobody does? This is London?

TIM TAM TOM: yeah but jon is the most intense about it

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN YOU FORMATTED THIS INCORRECTLY!! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN THE STANDARD WAY THAT WE FORMAT THINGS HERE HAS TWELVE-POINT FONT, NOT ELEVEN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN I DO NOT CARE IF YOU HAVENT DONE A REPORT LIKE THIS SINCE YOUR MASTER'S THAT YOU GOT TEN YEARS AGO! I'M GOING TO BE A BITCH ABOUT IT ANYWAY!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN!

mahtin: I mean, to be fair, I truly haven't got a clue on how to do half these reports and follow-ups

mahtin: It's been too long since I've done anything outside of, you know, Library Things

mahtin: I don't blame him for being frustrated sometimes

TIM TAM TOM: once you get used to it its not hard at all

TIM TAM TOM: esp since you did it in uni all u gotta do is dust off them memoreez

sash (❁´◡`❁): Jon is unecessarily dramatic and mean about it though

TIM TAM TOM: ^^

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's like that with most things, though, so it's fine

sash (❁´◡`❁): He doesn't mean anything personal by it

TIM TAM TOM: we only bully him a little bit for it

mahtin: ah

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... 'ah?'

TIM TAM TOM: ??

mahtin: I see

mahtin: I may owe him an apology?

sash (❁´◡`❁): You what

TIM TAM TOM: im torn

TIM TAM TOM: on the one hand hell yeah lets go marto my man

TIM TAM TOM: on the other hand jon? is he okay? did you actually hurt his feelings ? the only reason hes not in the discord is bc hes fucking insufferable rn and also bc electronics dont like him-

mahtin: I could tell you what I did? To make you not torn?

TIM TAM TOM: no

mahtin: Well I'm going to say it anyway to determine if an apology is in order

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yes go ahead don't let Tim convince you otherwise

mahtin: Well

mahtin: I may have started a bit of a fight with him?

mahtin: Might have implied that he didn't pay attention in Uni?

mahtin: I was completely pulling it out of my arse but I was tired of being corrected on a bunch of little things like I'm SORRY it's been over TEN YEARS since I did ANY education

mahtin: So I dug in my heels on some inane little thing and now it's kind of. On sight

mahtin: This has been going on for a few days now? I'm surprised nobody picked up on it honestly

mahtin: I mean who has an argument about spiders? Even most arachnophobes agree that the jumping ones are cute! They're small and fuzzy what's not to love!

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

TIM TAM TOM: if sash says dont bring something up w someone it means she hacked into somewhere she shouldnt and saw things nobody wanted her to see

TIM TAM TOM: she does that with everyone btw

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's easier to just look at the 'phobia' part than dance around like "hey, most people at the Fear Research Institute are absolutely fucking terrified of something, which club are you in? what should I not talk about with you?"

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's EFFICIENT and not personal information in the FEAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE it's basically an icebreaker question in Artifact Storage

sash (❁´◡`❁): For example

sash (❁´◡`❁): No clowns or mannequins with Tim

TIM TAM TOM: or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): Or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): I'm fine with pretty much anything in all honesty but I'll let you know if that changes

mahtin: Does my file say anything? I don't remember what I said my fear was

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yours was something existential like 'loneliness' or something like that

sash (❁´◡`❁): I don't tend to get that deep with my coworkers so if it's not going to come up in conversation I don't put in as much effort to remember it

mahtin: ... Interesting

mahtin: I don't remember what I said my fear was but I'm fairly certain it was something concrete

mahtin: Might've been snakes? I used to be scared of snakes for a while

mahtin: Then I got a part time job at a pet store for some extra money and their snakes were cool so no more of that

mahtin: But I was only asked the fear question once? During my interview?

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... Weird

TIM TAM TOM: ... indeed

[dairy-farmer]

Sorry for the anon, but I'm LadyLilac just on my gen account rip. Anyways, the Tim/Thomas Wayne thing you wrote about is making me insane! I love love love what you did with it! But I am also being possessed by the idea of making it angst. Where Tim does have a sexual relationship with Tom starting at age 11 or 12, and Bruce finds out at like age 16 or maybe 17.

Bruce finding out and after years of covering for his father struggling to figure out what to do. How can he help Tim? Can he turn his father in, and break what little hope Alfred has in his oldest friend? And can Bruce even help Tim when he doesn't want to be helped, and particularly not by the man Thomas raged about everytime he's brought up. The whump would be so good!

Bruce dragging Tim home to the manor and trying to parent him, while his sons drag their feet at the (precieved) idea of having some rich brat in their home. Tim hating Bruce for taking away the only adult who cared for him, while still admiring him for being Batman. Maybe even Tim trying seduce Bruce, both because he looks like Thomas and is batman and partly because he wants to prove his point he's old enough to consent. Sorry for flailing in your inbox 😅 but thank you for your wonderful ideas! Sorry for any typos, I'm typing on my phone as always

hi lilac!!!!! i'm so happy you enjoyed it!!!! and teen bruce would definitely be caought in quite a conundrum and struggle to his approach. it would definitly hit him harder than older, adult bruce who has his own kids and has been estranged from his dad for years. the timeline would definitely throw a few things off making dick younger than tim so by the time dick and the others come into bruce's life, tim would be an adult just a few years younger than bruce.

where older bruce sort of lets things be and halfheartedly looks to see if anything illegal happened (and even if he had most likely would not have reported it because thomas wayne is no longer a factor in his life anymore and bruce doesn't really want to get sucked back in by the problems his father makes himself). teenage bruce is young, he's angry, he's hurt. the feelings he has towards his father are still fresh. but bruce covers for him because part of him is still that young boy that is holding out for the hope that his father will change and go back to the man he was before the accident. it's not until year later when he's matured and become batman and adopted dick and realized he would never do what his father did that he lets go.

bruce would be devastated to learn his father is fucking someone even younger than him, someone, who's not even in high school yet. he and tim go to the same school because gotham academy runs from K-12 and bruce finds out in the worst way possible. he leaves school late and alfred has gone on vacation. he'd made bruce's father promise he'd pick him up but bruce knows that's not going to happen so he's stuck taking the bus. he's taking a shortcut through an empty park when....he spots his father's car? parked in an empty lot and bruce knows it's his father's because of the plate and also because not everyone is driving around in a custom cadillac. and he thinks for a moment maybe his father didn't forget but the other part of him, the wary and suspicious part knows that something isn't right. so bruce sneaks up to the car, making sure to do so with the blindspot of the car. bruce's father has his windows tinted same as everyone in the city because in gotham it's basically compulsory if you don't want someone with a gun coming up to your window and telling you to get out.

but bruce is careful. he's discreet and he picks a small corner of the back window to cup his hands around his eye and peek in and when he does he....he's sure he has to have it wrong. that he's misreading the situation. because the sweater vest that the middleschoolers all wear is one the floor of the his father's car. the car that's softly swaying and rocking and bruce hadn't realized it until he was leaning against it and watching as his nearly 40 year old father fucked a squirming, red faced, no more than 10 year old kid.

bruce can't describe the feeling, the dread, the disappointment, the shock, the horror he feels as he watches his father fuck a too big cock into such a little pink hole.

bruce is borderline catatonic for hours, he snaps back when he's home and in his room and curled up in his bed like when he was a kid. he doesn't know how he got home. there's no food in the kitchen when he descends so he needs to order something if he wants to eat. but bruce isn't hungry. his stomach is swirling with too much unease for him to want to eat. bruce feels like he wants to throw up, like he wants to cry.

that kid hadn't even been his age, he'd been younger. he couldn't possibly have been older than...than bruce when his mother died. bruce has had a sour relationship with his dad for years (bruce thinks of his missing pain pills that he'd "lost"), he's even been playing with the idea of going through with his plans to aquire skills that might help him (there's a man in rio de janeiro who can teach him driving skills to outpace the police-). but this is....this isn't his father's self destruction. this involves someone else aside from bruce, this involves someone innocent.

it takes bruce less than a day to identify the boy he'd seen his father with. a quick flip through the yearbook tells him the boy is named timothy j drake and he's eleven years old.

bruce is...is so unsteadied by this new information. he feels...scared. he doesn't know why. he doesn't know what to do, who to tell....if he should tell at all. bruce's father is not well. he knows that. he's known that for awhile because the man who lived dow the hall from him could not possibly be the ma who carried bruce on his shoulders, who snuck him candy, who loved bruce so dearly that when he saw the gun change directions he'd shifted his body and spread out his arms to protect bruce from being hit.

it cannot be the same man. and yet...

bruce hates himself.

he returns to school the next day and his eyes seek out a familiar form that he'd seen arching up to meet his father's thrusts. bruce watches as he talks with his friends about some new issue of a comic book, as they tall about fantasy books and some board game they're playing together. tim is social and happy, he has friends and a social life. he doesn't...act like a victim.

in the car...when bruce had watched him and his father he hadn't looked like he was trying to get away or escape he....hadn't looked like he'd hated it.

bruce hates himself. he's just looking for excuses. looking for somehow to not have to be the person to do something about this.

bruce does not say anything. and he hates himself.

he never stops. years later and he watches grown up timothy drake accompanying his father to galas as his "nurse" and he hates himself for never having said anything. alfred is talking to his father who is smiling and happy and bruce had seen how alfred had nearly been driven to tears when his father had reached out to him months ago about getting a drink together. he'd extended the same invitation to bruce but bruce had refused, claiming that he needed to hep damian with a science project. damian...who had just turned 12. nearly the same age as timothy drake had been when bruce had found them fucking.

it'd been years. bruce had been so sure someone else would find out. someone else would say something. someone else would put a stop to it, stop his father from fucking a child too young to understand what they were doing. god. how had no one else seen it? the way his father had a hand wrapped around tim's waist, how tim raced to fulfill thomas's every need. did no one see it? had bruce been the only one to see the true nature and depravity of his father?

....and now it was too late. tim was a full grown adult and no one would ever know about how long he'd been entangled with thomas wayne. no one aside from bruce who knew what his father had done.

and bruce had done nothing. nothing. and now he had to suffer in silence as he attended his father's birthday gala and the crowd cheered as thomas's lovely and dedicated nurse helped bruce's father blow out his candles.

bruce could say something.

he could call up vicki and ask if she wanted an exclusive. he could tell about that day, about the pill bottle that didn't go missing. he could talk about how he'd kept silent because he was a kid and seeing that had scrared him and he hadn't known who to tell or what to do but now he was older. that he'd kept his mouth shut because....because that was his father.

but now he was a father. a father with children and he knew what his father had done was wrong and he was ready to admit his wrongdoings in staying silent and expose his father's wrongdoings in doing what he did.

alfred and leslie would be devestated. dick, jason, and damian would be horrified.

tim...tim would...

bruce didn't know. he had no idea what tim would do. it'd been more than a decade since bruce had first seen them together and he had no idea how long they'd been...together since before bruce knew about them...

but...bruce couldn't keep silent anymore. he couldn't go on pretending everything was alright and fine when he knew it wasn't.

bruce had allowed his father to get away with things he shouldn'tve because he had been young but now...now he couldn't go on pretending like there wasn't something wrong.

like this guilt hadn't been weighing on his heart as much as what happened in that alley did.

i feel like tim gets an inkling of what bruce is going to do because unlike thomas he'd noticed bruce there that day. but bruce had never said anything- even when he'd become batman.

so tim realizing bruce is getting ready to say something is when tim takes it as his cue to seduce bruce who looks so much like the thomas wayne he loves...

[cyarsk52-20]

Kristen Doute's Scene In The "Vanderpump Rules" Finale Was Actually Such A Full Circle Moment And I Am Seriously So Here For It

BuzzFeed Staff

We made it, folks. After nearly three months of #Scandoval consuming our screens, feeds, and lives*, we're finally on the other side of the Vanderpump Rules Season 10 finale. This is how I feel:

*Or maybe you're a normal person and you haven't made this show your entire personality since March 3. And to that I say, good for you!!! But the people who get it, GET IT. And the people who don't, DON'T.

It's been a wild ride so far, and the finale was 54 straight minutes of pure adrenaline and unbelievable moments. I laughed, I cried (like, A LOT), and I wondered why Tom Sandoval still INSISTS on wearing that godforsaken white nail polish.

But one of the most iconic moments was a surprise visit from someone we haven't seen on the show for quite some time. Someone who probably knows Sandoval's crusty, cheating ways better than anyone. Someone who isn't afraid to wear open-toed slides on camera...

That's right, I'm talking about KRISTEN DOUTE.

Kristen hasn't been seen on VPR since Season 8, because she was fired in 2020 for falsely reporting fellow former cast member Faith Stowers to the police in 2018.

FWIW, I stand by this. Actions have consequences.

BUT that doesn't change the fact that Kristen coming back on the show to support Ariana in her time of need isn't a RBFD (Really Big Fucking Deal™), and I'm sorry but it absolutely MUST be talked about!!! So let's get into it, shall we?

Right off the bat, there's the intricate web that is the dynamic between Ariana Madix, Kristen Doute, and Tom Sandoval. If you've made it this far in the post I already know I don't have to tell you, but these three have HISTORY.

In case you don't recall, Kristen and Tom dated for nearly six years before he and Ariana got together. They lived together and literally entered the show together as OG cast members in Season 1. It was a toxic, dysfunctional relationship for the ages that I'm thankful I can stream/relive anytime I want (sorry, Kristen). During their time together, Tom cheated on Kristen multiple times (and she did the same to him, but that's a different story). One of those times was when Tom famously cheated on Kristen with Ariana at the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas.

Never forget.

There may or may not have been other trysts between Tom and Ariana, but they both SWORE up and down that nothing happened. Ariana especially went to bat for Tom, basically pushing Kristen to the brink.

And once Kristen and Tom finally broke up for good, Tom and Ariana immediately started dating. Like, IMMEDIATELY. And here we are, nine years later.

Tom's actions and reasoning for cheating on Ariana and blowing up their life partnership are almost IDENTICAL to what he said and did to Kristen. I don't have time to pore over every little detail, so please watch and enjoy this lovely comparison video by TikToker and fellow Bravohead, Stephanie Tlejii:

TLDR: Kristen GETS IT. And in the years since Tom and Kristen's breakup, she and Ariana have actually become really good friends. She was literally WITH Ariana the night she found out about Tom's seven-month affair with Raquel. So who better to come and console her in her time of need??? Who better to bond over the collective trauma caused by this "worm with a mustache" who calls himself a bar owner???? No one, that's who. Not a single soul in all of WeHo or Valley Village. We see this immediately when they lovingly refer to Sandoval as "OUR ex-boyfriend."

This is the part where I'm gonna say there will be absolutely NO comments on this post being like, "How you get him is how you lose him!!!" when talking about this, because...stop it. First of all, gross. Second of all, Kristen literally shamed y'all for saying that on WWHL , and third of all, Ariana immediately acknowledges this after they sit down. It wasn't that Kristen was "nuts" or that Ariana was super special (even though she is, obviously). It's a pattern of behavior!!!!

Then, Ariana literally acknowledges that she spent years defending Tom against Kristen when she should've been doing the exact opposite. A huge moment of self-awareness and clarity!!!

And then Kristen is essentially like, "IDC about that, at least we're both rid of him." We LOVE women supporting women!!!!

After their chat on the couch, the two go into the backyard to do some kind of self-love spell. Kristen brought a shit ton of crystals and some kind of vibration tool, naturally.

For this Witches of WeHo ritual, Ariana writes down something she wants to manifest for herself: "true self-love." I'm not afraid to admit that this moment made me tear up.

Then, she burns and stomps out what's no longer serving her, aka "unrequited loyalty."

Finally, Ariana and Kristen close the spell with this iconic line:

And then they embrace!!! Two women who've been screwed over by the same narcissistic man, coming together to lift each other up and look forward to the days ahead, WITHOUT THAT LOSER.

In all my years watching VPR, I couldn't think of a more full-circle moment. And people agree!!!

Here's to both of these women living their best lives sans Sandoval! Now to gear up for the Season 10 reunion, aka SuperBowl parts 2, 3, and 4.

You can stream all of Vanderpump Rules , including the #Scandoval finale, on Peacock now.Kristen Doute's Scene In The "Vanderpump Rules" Finale Was Actually Such A Full Circle Moment And I Am Seriously So Here For It Kristen was with Tom for six years before he cheated on her with Ariana. Now, she's here to be Ariana's comfort and support!

Read in BuzzFeed: https://apple.news/AGGgKo9FyQWuTuQ-xaWmdxQ

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[crazy56u]

Whelp, the show got an extension. We’re one step closer to them outright renewing it for Season 2. Here’s hoping. Onward to tonight.

(As a reminder, I wrote this in real time as the episode was airing, keep that in mind once you reach a certain part.)

Welcome back to the 80s, Ben, you’re now a lady getting hit on by a drunk guy. Maybe don’t drink.

“You know what they say about good dancers.” They’re worse when drunk?

Ben is now just speedrunning Sam’s life.

Mace, a tacer, handcuffs, all the party essentials.

This week on Quantum Leap: We take “What Price Gloria”, “8 1/2 Months” and “A Hunting We Will Go” and just fucking blend the shit outta them.

FUCK YEAH, BALLROOM BLITZ

“How dare you not tell me you were a bounty hunter when I was hitting on you, fuck off!”

It still feels weird that the first four episodes have taken place over the course of, like, a week for the Project side of things.

“OK, I don’t get it.” Well, we’re five minutes in, Addison, wait for the other shoe to drop.

Huh, something bad was happening inside: the stupidest way to do a proposal.

“I need more time.” “YES, SHE SAID NOT YET, LET’S PARTY!”

Ben is fucking crushing this “Any% Marriage Proposal Ruin” speedrun.

“I proposed to you, you said no, and now you want to go back to work?” “Look, if you say yes, I might say yes, you ever think about that?”

...isn’t panyhose still a thing in 2022?

I love how it’s been like, what, a day or so since they found out Janis is indirectly DDOSing Ziggy, and they still haven’t reset the passwords.

Magic, she’s making her own Project, sorry you don’t know yet.

Okay, so Magic has secret files he doesn’t want the others to know about, does that mean he knows Sam leapt into him before?

“Okay, look, I know we’re working, but did I fuck up last night? Did I not propose right?”

Why does this motel look like the one from My Name is Earl?

Plot twist: Ben is remembering Addison, but because of his fucking amnesia, he is really creating problems where none exist.

“Hi, I’m your downstairs neighbor, totally not a time traveller moonlighting as a bounty hunter!”

“Okay, I’ll get my things, totally won’t be fleeing.”

Ben, you’d get $23 just for looking the other way, that’s a bargain in 1981.

How many fucking proposals are in this episode?

Uh oh, the Leather Jacket Mob!

“You’re gonna scratch my floors!” ...wait, is this a motel, or is it an apartment complex, I think I missed something.

Thank god for the convenient dumpsters.

Damn, a drug trade twist 18 minutes into the episode, this show has some major potential.

Which is worse: Getting busted on parking tickets, or pulling a Capone and getting busted on tax fraud?

This time travel project, brought to you by Apple.

Okay, I believe Ben was seeing Janis six months prior, but I still think that flashback Ben had was with Addison.

...is... ...is this the same alley from the first episode?

“Look, I know I’m handcuffed to the wall right now, but I wanna help out this relationship bullshit.”

As punishment for bringing up soulmates, you get handcuffed further down the alley.

All according to plan.

MAN this show doesn’t know subtlety.

“Are you okay?” “(lying) Yeah, I’m fine.” “(pissed) WHAT DO YOU THINK?”

A Starbucks truck?! WHAT THE FUCK

Okay, but I love this: “Look, Ian, I know Janis is currently DDOSing Ziggy, and Ben and Addison are having relationship shit right now in 1981, but I wanna have coffee in the park, and I’m Ernie fucking Hudson, so we’re doing this.”

...

I AM FUCKING VINDICATED!

VINDICATED!

FUCKING

VINDICATION!

...huh. So, in the original history, all of Tom’s platoon died during Operation Lazerus? ...and all it took to fix that was Al doing two more years in Vietnam, and a reporter exploding.

And now we learn how to pick a lock. This is an educational show.

...well, there’s the plot twist.

I swear to God if than gunshot was blanks, and she just popped a squib.

“Like a fiddle. (sunglasses) YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

“Okay, so after getting shot at multiple times, I’m starting to realize this proposal thing probably ain’t happening.”

Ben, don’t be too upset, you crushed that speedrun.

Also, it was blurry, but I am 100% convinced that was Addison’s face in the flashback, so DOUBLE VINDICATION

And Sad Dad comes in in the clutch.

Also, just now realizing the marriage footage the keep showing is of Princess Diana.

And now we have a ghost talking about how to be a ghost.

“Hey, look, I know I implied I was leaving, but... nah.”

...she’s behind them, isn’t she...

“What about Illinois?” What about Illinois?

I fucking love this show’s soundtrack.

This is the slowest chase scene, and totally at odds against Blondie.

Jake has the shittiest fucking luck, man...

“Oh God, shut the fuck up and stop ruining this hostage scene...”

“Get a room already.” “Noted. (tazes a briefcase)”

So, 8 minutes left, what other fun surprises are we going to have?

“I just had coffee with Magic, either this series ends with Ben coming home, or we burn the world down.”

$5 even Eva and Jake get married, sucker’s bet.

“Come on, don’t you want to know about Eva and Jake-” “Oh my God, are we engaged?!���

Well, Ben, you finally remembered you were supposed to marry Addison before you leapt, as your reward, you get to do Back to the Future Part III!

Ben, you have the shittiest luck. “Welcome to Cowboy Times, you leapt into the middle of more relationship BS!”

Is this the fucking Westworld set?

Final thoughts: I fucking vindicated up and down the block, I am now praying for that renewal order.

[whileiamdying]

As Much As I Can, As Black As I Am: The Queer History of Grace Jones

In this career overview, Barry Walters details how one of the most transgressive stars of the 1980s, Grace Jones, gave voice to the oppressed while offering a bold example of what it means to be free.

Grace Jones is perched on a ledge above the dancefloor of New York’s 12 West, the state-of-the-art, members-only gay disco, about to take the stage for one of her first performances. The year is 1977, and no one is prepared for what’s about to hit them.

Tom Moulton, father of the dance mix and Jones’ early producer, describes the scene: “All of a sudden the spotlight hits her. She starts singing ‘I Need a Man’, and the place goes crazy. After she finishes, she goes, ‘I don't know about you, honey, but I need a fucking man!’ Talk about a room-worker. Whatever it takes. She was so determined.”

To understand the impact of this moment, one must understand a bit of history. Just a few years earlier, it had been illegal for two men to so much as dance together in New York City. With the exception of maybe hairdressers and artists, queer people risked unemployment if they merely hinted at their orientation outside the confines of gay bars and clubs, and it was in these discos that the seeds of liberation were sown. At 12 West, gay people could grasp the power of their collectivity and understand what it meant to be free.

That night, Grace Jones sang “I Need a Man” just like a man might—tough and lusty, she was a woman who was not just singing to them, but also for them, as them. She was as queer as a relatively straight person could get. Her image celebrated blackness and subverted gender norms; she presented something we had never seen before in pop performance—a woman who was lithe, sexy, and hyperfeminine while also exuding a ribald, butch swagger. In ’79, Ebony got her je ne sais quoi exactly right: “Grace Jones is a question mark followed by an exclamation point.”

Even now, her transgressive charisma remains bold. She still feels outré.

In 1960, a 12-year-old Beverly Grace Jones moved from Spanish Town, Jamaica, to Syracuse, New York, with her family. She didn’t have many friends; a high school report card described her as “socially sick.” Halfway through her studies at Syracuse University, she impulsively abandoned school to work on a play in Philadelphia. The Pentecostal preacher’s daughter realized there was no going home after that, and she moved to New York City in 1975 to fulfill her dream of becoming a star.

At first, Jones modeled for the Wilhelmina Agency while doubling as a go-go dancer under the pseudonym Grace Mendoza. “Even though the agency kept me pretty busy, I auditioned for every play and film I could find,” she told The Baltimore Afro American in 1985. “But they all wanted a black American sound, and I just didn’t have it. Finally, I got tired of trotting around and took myself to Paris.”

In France, her blackness set her apart from other models, and Jones landed covers of Stern, Pravda, and Vogue. Within a few months, she recorded a few singles; one was sent to Cy and Eileen Berlin, an enterprising husband-and-wife team who later managed Tom Cruise. Jones flew back to NYC with her roommate, actress Jessica Lange, and met with the Berlins. Impressed by her exuberance, star quality, and willingness, they signed on to manage her. “I thought of her as family,” says Eileen Berlin. “My son had gone to college, so I gave her his room.”

At the time, Tom Moulton’s pioneering club-specific mixes were blowing up both discos and R&B radio, and the Berlins begged him to produce their new client. Moulton and Jones’ partnership began with the double-sided ’76 single, “Sorry” / “That’s the Trouble”, and their next collaboration, “I Need a Man”, quickly rose to the top of Billboard’s disco chart the following year. Hoping to capitalize on Jones’ burgeoning fame, the Berlins approached Island Records founder Chris Blackwell, who signed her in short order. Given the combination of Blackwell’s status as an international reggae ambassador and Jones’ Jamaican roots, Cy Berlin anticipated a good fit. He didn’t know how right he would be.

Although Moulton and Jones made three albums together in three years—’77’s Portfolio, ’78’s Fame, and ’79’s Muse—the two former-models often clashed: “I always teased her about sounding like Bela Lugosi,” recalls the disco godfather. “I stood next to her while she was singing because I got so sick of hitting the talkback button [in the control room]. The moment she'd go off, I'd stop her. I was hard on her, but no matter how much I pushed her, she would take it and push herself.”

Portfolio’s continuous first side featured Broadway tunes set to string-intensive bluster arranged by the Salsoul Orchestra’s Vince Montana and performed by members of MFSB, a cohesive pool of studio musicians who played on nearly every Philadelphia-originated soul hit of the ’70s. But against the plush effortlessness, Jones sounded strained; the weight of Moulton’s hand was audible and uncomfortable to hear.

However, the LP’s second side dished out a masterstroke in Jones’ take on Édith Piaf’s “La Vie En Rose”, a version of which Moulton previously recorded with forgotten ’70s singer Teresa Wiater. Jones had gotten her hands on an acetate pressing of Waiter’s unreleased recording, which was wowing the 12 West crowd, and she lobbied Moulton to let her have it, baiting him that it would be a sure hit for the two: “I’m big in France.” The same rawness and struggle that worked against Jones on Portfolio’s Broadway arias conveyed the absolute heartbreak of “La Vie En Rose”.

On Jones’ second album, Fame, Moulton bolstered the French connection: Most songs were written by Jack Robinson and Jacques Pépino (credited as James Bolden, but elsewhere known as disco singer David Christie). Once again Moulton contrasted Philly soul’s lush romanticism with Jones’ confident, almost stentorian vocals. This time around, though, that combination gelled throughout because the material was made for her. Jones dedicated the album “with love” to her then-partner, Jean-Paul Goude, a Parisian multimedia artist who collaborated with her on the creation of subsequent album jackets, photos, videos, and stage shows. (Goude is also the father of her only child and author of a book that details their relationship, Jungle Fever.)

While the follow up, Muse, didn’t yield as many memorable songs, it did feature another nonstop A-side that moved from sin to salvation via stormy arrangements by Iceland’s Thor Baldursson, whose keyboards and charts lit up Giorgio Moroder and Boney M songs alike. It also brandished a killer floor-filler with “On Your Knees”. Laced with sadistic intent by D.C. LaRue, a cult disco act whose world-weary, gay-coded “Cathedrals” presaged Pet Shop Boys, and former Sugarloaf frontman Jerry Corbetta, the most soulful of Jones’ disco singles also pointed toward her future. The philharmonic instrumentation oozed luxury, but the swagger of the lyric and the toughness of her vocal suggested rock’n’roll dissent waiting to be unleashed.

I grew up in Rochester, New York, 90 miles from where a teenaged Grace Jones daydreamed about her grand ambitions in Syracuse. I was a fan of a local band called New Math, whose frontman did promo for Island and passed me a copy of Fame—the first piece of my disco vinyl collection. Later that week, I watched Jones on “The Midnight Special”, where she performed “Below the Belt”. She took the stage clad in a satin boxing robe, her hands taped for a fight. Halfway through, she pulled a brawny muscleman from the crowd, pretended to knock him out, and then stood with a foot planted on his chest, all while crooning, “Gotta take my chance/ Gotta go the distance.” She then did a victory dance as fake snow fell in celebration of Christmas (and perhaps—this being 1979—cocaine). I was hooked.

That jaw-dropping TV appearance prompted a discussion with my high school drama teacher. He bragged that his brother had once met Jones at a Manhattan roller rink, where, instead of offering him a business card, she gave him a plastic whip with her name emblazoned on it. I knew at that moment that I belonged in Grace Jones’ New York, that suburban life would kill me the same way it had killed my alcoholic father. A year later, I arrived. 

Jones’ “On Your Knees” was the last single I bought before leaving Rochester and it was one of the first songs I heard on the local disco station in New York City. Subway cars plastered with graffiti bore nearly inscrutable codes I was hungry to crack, for danger preyed upon the ignorant: Each weekend brought stories of fellow students who had been mugged. I remember protesters disrupting the filming of William Friedkin’s Cruising, which retold the real-life story of a fugitive who had lured men out of gay bars to bed and then killed them. In that anything-goes, pre-AIDS era at the tail end of the ‘70s, pleasure and danger were quite literally bedfellows.

Macho, close-cropped clones ruled the city’s mega-discos, but I hadn’t escaped my small suburb just to conform, so I sought out unconventional spaces like Hurrah’s, the Mudd Club, and Danceteria, where dub, reggae and post-punk alternated with chilly synth pop and radical funk. All those genres would mingle and mutate in Jones’ next incarnation.

When Muse fizzled in the clubs and on the charts, Chris Blackwell took over as Jones’ producer. “I wanted to treat her not as a model, but to involve her as a musician,” he recalls. “Tom Moulton had been recording the instrumentation and then having Grace come in later, but I wanted her to feel as though she were a member of a band, and record her the way bands used to make albums, with the singer and the players doing their thing all at once.”

Blackwell’s approach united two things he knew well: Caribbean ease and British audacity. “I wanted a rhythmic reggae bottom, aggressive rock guitar, atmospheric keyboards in the middle, and Grace on top,” he says. To get all that, he assembled a sextet of studio ringers at his Nassau studio, Compass Point. The soon-to-be signature sound of the Compass Point All-Stars went on to animate hits by the Tom Tom Club, Robert Palmer, Joe Cocker, Gwen Guthrie, and others.

The sessions began with an unlikely remake of the Normal’s “Warm Leatherette”. Jones’ version preserved the original’s deadpan vocal delivery and minimal melody but dropped the tempo to a saunter, twisted the rhythm into a sharp funk, and sashayed with offhand earnestness, as if sexual intercourse while dying from vehicular collision was just another kink worth trying. The sessions moved with disarming speed and ease: “If Grace or the group hadn’t nailed a song by the third take,” Blackwell recounts, “it was dropped and they’d move to the next number.”

Keyboardist Wally Badarou attests to Jones’ active role in the recordings: “Grace was there even during most instrumental overdubbing sessions. She was a part of the sound and the spirit that came out almost from nowhere. We all knew we were in for something quite experimental.”

Soon they had amassed enough material for 1980’s Warm Leatherette and the beginnings of a follow-up LP that would become 1981’s Nightclubbing. Upon its release, Leatherette failed to charm either radio audiences or most dance clubs; it was too authentically reggae for the New Wave crowd, too slow for disco. But by the following year, both New York radio and the club scene had grown eclectic. Primed by kindred punk-funk blasts like Yoko Ono’s “Walking on Thin Ice” as well as Taana Gardner’s “Heartbeat”, a far more open-minded dance music world was ready to re-embrace Jones and her new sound.

Nightclubbing provided Jones with newfound popularity on both sides of the Atlantic. European audiences appreciated “I’ve Seen That Face Before (Libertango)”, a vocal reimagining of Argentine tango master Ástor Piazzolla’s 1974 instrumental “Libertango”. For that track, co-writer Barry Reynolds penned lyrics about a Parisian stalker, and Badarou provided a haunting introductory riff. Jones’ lyrics were a rebuttal, en francais, penned with the help of Blackwell’s girlfriend, actor Nathalie Delon: “What are you looking for? Hoping to find love? Who do you think you are? You hate your life.”

In America, Jones’ R&B breakthrough came via an instrumental recorded by drummer Sly Dunbar during the Warm Leatherette sessions. The track first leaked out as “Peanut Butter” on the B-side of kiddie reggae crooner Junior Tucker’s “The Kick (Rock On)”, but, eager to make it hers, Grace co-wrote new lyrics equating cars with carnality. “Pull Up to the Bumper” pushed that metaphor towards lewd entendre: “Grease it, spray it/ Let me lubricate it,” she drawled. A summertime smash, “Bumper” became one of the last thoroughly sexual jams before a new virus began to complicate that kind of fun.

The sessions for 1982’s Living My Life marked a culmination of the synchronicity between Jones and the All-Stars. “Blackwell felt the band was so good it deserved to be doing its own material,” Badarou remembers. As a result, the album was made up entirely of originals, save for a cover of Melvin Van Peebles’ “The Apple Stretching”. Each song began with Jones’ lyrics, from which Reynolds wrote the music to fit. Recorded in the wake of her breakup with Jean-Paul Goude, the album found Jones getting deeper and more rigorously percussive: The percolating lead track, “My Jamaican Guy”, has been sampled by acts from La Roux to LL Cool J. The title track was eventually left off the album but it showcased just how personal the work was for Jones, a world away from the show tunes and entendres. “You kill me for living my life,” she sang. “As much as I can, as black as I am.”

By 1982, AIDS and Reaganomics were striking down Jones’ core audience, and the freedoms of the previous decade shifted to contractions. MTV arrived, and the New Wave dance sounds it championed—sonic stepchildren of Jones including Eurythmics, Culture Club, and Duran Duran—launched a second English invasion on the charts. Jones’ singular appearance and meticulously crafted presentation made her a natural fit for the burgeoning music video medium, especially in its early, experimental days.

She asserted herself as an astute visual artist with her 1982 VHS release, A One Man Show. Directed by Goude and nominated in ’84 for the first Best Long Form Music Video Grammy, it combined still photography, concert footage, and video clips to distill the pair’s simultaneously sensational and intimate collaborations into a heated, unbroken montage. Jones donned pointedly geometric designs that accentuated her angles while clad in screaming Pop-Art colors that flashed and flattered. Goude’s art direction came alive through Jones, who glared at the camera as if possessed; she was imposing, alien, almighty—it’s not surprising that she would soon be stealing scenes in films like Conan the Destroyer and A View to a Kill.

What came after One Man and the Compass Point trilogy would have to top them, which is precisely what “Slave to the Rhythm” did. Bruce Woolley, co-writer of the Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star”, wrote the song on spec for Frankie Goes to Hollywood, but helped to re-draft it for Jones. Producer Trevor Horn was brought in, and a nine-month studio odyssey ensued, allegedly costing Island $385,000—a fortune for a singer who had never scaled the U.S. pop charts. (The exorbitant single was offset by padding its accompanying album with eight different versions of the track in attempt to break even.)

“I remember a huge amount of experimentation with early digital techniques—the Synclavier, Sony digital tape spliced with sticky tape, and the Fairlight,” Woolley recalls. “We recorded a new version every four weeks, with Horn and Blackwell in search of the perfect track.” Between her acting roles, Jones returned to the studio month after month to update her vocals on the latest arrangements. “Slave to the Rhythm” was finally released in October 1985, and one would be hard-pressed to argue that all the laborious studio work and astronomical expenditures weren’t justified: Horn’s production work was ornate and opulent, lurid and symphonic. The spell cast by a larger-than-life black woman singing both metaphorically and directly about slavery was profound; the lyrics coaxed infinite interpretations. The Face—England’s authority on all things hip—declared “Slave” the single of 1985, and Jones appeared on the magazine’s January ’86 cover painted in whiteface. From the pure gloss of its ambition to the obsessiveness of its lyric, “Slave” is the ’80s.

Her ultimate hit in much of the world, “Slave” underscored how Jones’ incandescence and charisma made her bigger than her sales figures might indicate. MTV virtually ignored the track’s Goude-directed video; even when framed by Horn’s familiar transatlantic brilliance, Jones was, for them, still too black, too strong. Nevertheless, she got over elsewhere on the sheer magnitude of her presence. With the help of Hollywood and some crazy commercials for Citroën, Honda Scooters, and Sun Country Wine Coolers, she became more massive than ever.

“I like conflicts,” she told Playboy in 1985. “I love competition. I like discovering things for myself. It’s a childlike characteristic, actually. But that gives you a certain amount of power, and people are intimidated by that.” 

By the following year, with Goude and Blackwell out of the picture, Jones wanted more involvement in her debut album for EMI subsidiary Manhattan Records, 1986’s Inside Story. Taking EMI A&R head Bruce Garfield’s direction to “imagine a leaf being blown through the streets of New York, twisting and turning in the sunshine” as a starting point, Jones and Woolley wrote every song together, then joined multi-platinum Svengali Nile Rodgers in New York to transform their demos. This mutually flattering union yielded her last R&B radio victory, “I’m Not Perfect (But I’m Perfect for You)”. Indicting white-collar criminals and Hollywood liars, Inside Story revealed the singer’s observant, socially conscious side, while the jagged arrangements meshed Rodgers’ ricocheting, jazz-schooled guitar with Woolley’s smart pop. It is a singer/songwriter record you can dance to.

She followed it with 1989’s Bulletproof Heart, which yielded one resplendent club triumph, “Love on Top of Love”, courtesy of David Cole & Robert Clivillés, a house remix/production duo who later scored with C+C Music Factory. Jones co-wrote and co-produced most of the album with her new husband, Chris Stanley, whose output fell far below her avant standards; the two soon divorced. Having tried harder, thought broader, and crossed more boundaries than most of her contemporaries, this dance-floor renegade closed out the decade boxed in and coasting.

By the late ’80s, I had moved to San Francisco; AIDS was decimating the gay community. One night in 1993, I finally got my chance to see Jones perform at a local gay nightclub and took my friend Brian, whose partner Mark was too sick to join us. Jones’ lived up to her reputation for diva behavior and didn’t take the stage until well after midnight. At first she stuck to her hits, including that year’s house excursion “Sex Drive”. But it soon became apparent that she didn’t need the spectacular filigree of her Goude years. The special effect was her smile: It just wouldn’t stop, and soon it became contagious. She didn’t back away from the elephant in the room: She dedicated one song to artist and AIDS casualty Keith Haring, who had used her body for a canvas on the occasion of her legendary 1985 Paradise Garage performance.

That night’s show was remarkable for the simple fact that Jones just kept on going, granting one encore request after another, waiting patiently while the sound man scoured backing tapes to find the fans’ offbeat choices. When Jones got to such minor numbers as “Crush”, it became clear that she didn’t want to leave. She was giving as much of herself as she could to the beleaguered troops, knowing full well that many wouldn’t live long enough to see her again. A few months after that show, I inherited Mark’s cherished copy of Goude and Jones’ art book Jungle Fever after he and Brian died within weeks of each other. 

Jones’ lust for life that night represented not just resilience to repression, but also a way of fighting back that sent a message: We, who are thought less than, shall burn brighter than our oppressors. That was why she was so beloved—because she led the way, even when we couldn’t proceed. Along with the lesbians and lucky survivors who nursed our fallen, Jones had borne witness to what Reagan, Bush, and most of the country willfully ignored; she knew the toll of it all. 

Throughout the ’90s, rumors of new albums surfaced; Blackwell recorded several sessions, so did Tricky. Even Moulton buried the hatchet for a 1997 house remake of Candi Staton’s “Victim”, but Island nixed its release on conceptual grounds: They thought Grace Jones couldn’t be a victim of anything.

In 2008, Jones unexpectedly reemerged with Hurricane, her first record in 19 years. She brought back Woolley and the Compass Point All-Stars while adding contributors like Emmy-winning composers Wendy Melvoin and Lisa Coleman, who worked with her for a month in their home on the the gospel-shaded canticle “Williams’ Blood”. “Prince has a presence and everybody in the room goes, ‘Whoa,’” Melvoin attests from first-hand knowledge—she and Coleman were key members of his Purple Rain–era backing band, the Revolution. “When Grace walks into the room, it’s more subtle, but it has the same effect. You just go, ‘My God, she’s taken up all of the space with that personality.’”

Hurricane mirrored that kaleidoscope. Unlike commonplace pop and rock luminaries who took extended vacations, Jones came back more polished and unpredictable than ever. With her trenchant track “Corporate Cannibal”, she even protested capitalist dehumanization by embodying it via grinding, insidious metal. But while her image as a constantly morphing, couture-clad hellion persists, the 67-year-old iconoclast stays true to herself. After all these years and so many disciples, there’s still no one like her. 

While gathering up my Grace Jones memories, I was reminded of what Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon once said about entertainers. This was 25 years ago, so my memory may have altered her words, but it went something like this: We pay to bask in the confidence of our most beloved performers so that we may learn to similarly love ourselves. Grace did that for me, for her audience, for anyone who has ever been too queer, too black, too female, or too freaky for the world around them. Grace Jones is liberation.

As a companion to Barry Walters’ Grace Jones piece, various Pitchfork contributors highlight some of the artist’s finest moments in music, film, and talk-show badassery:

The “Russell Harty” Incident 

In 1981, Grace Jones pummelled British talk show host Russell Harty on his own BBC show. Harty always sat among the guests on his early evening gabfest, and on this particular night he chose to focus his attention on the men to his right, leaving Jones, seated alone to his left, out of much of the conversation. The scene plays out with a frustrated Jones admonishing Harty: “If you turn your back to me one more minute.” Harty dismisses her, wagging a finger before turning away. Jones then clips him on the neck and lands one, two, three more hits in quick succession before slapping him on the head. The confused audience applauds—was this planned? Is this funny? Is it art?

This was my introduction to Grace Jones: elegantly beating the hell out of a man who won't take her seriously, her black body and everything it knows asserting itself for the good of fed up women everywhere. —Sara Bivigou

“Use Me”

Grace Jones’ version of Bill Withers’ “Use Me” is exactly what a cover song should be: It honors the strengths of the original while restructuring it, truly taking possession of it as if it were her own work. While Withers’ original is full of human pain and love, Jones’ version–produced by Sly and Robbie for Nightclubbing–turns on one robotic heel into S&M, all sex, all strength. The distinctly American, organic funk of the original is refashioned as electro-Caribbean minimalism, letting Jones’ voice be as powerful as Withers’. When issued from Jones’ lips, “use me up” becomes a challenge: a love song for power bottoms everywhere. —Jes Sklonik

Vamp 

Grace Jones fascinated me at a young age (seeing her as a kid while watching Conan the Destroyer with my dad both scared and excited me), but I didn’t become obsessed with her until seeing the movie Vamp at a sleepover in 1986. In the film, Jones plays Queen Katrina, a wicked vampiress running a strip club somewhere in Kansas (naturally). She makes her first on-screen appearance nude, save for a red bob wig and full body paint, doing a seductive dance that is as bizarre as it is weirdly erotic. At the time I didn’t really know much about her music (I was 11 years old and lived on a farm) nor could I appreciate that her body paint and the chair upon which she writhes were done by Keith Haring. The film is glorious ‘80s trash of the highest order, but Jones manages to transform the whole thing into high art by virtue of simply being there and, even though she’s playing the undead, sort of just being herself—beautiful, artful, exotic, and frighteningly wild. —T. Cole Rachel

“Breakdown”

Everyone from Suzi Quatro to the Replacements have covered Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’ 1976 slowburner “Breakdown”, but Grace Jones’ take is the version most worth discussing. Given a sauntering, reggae reconstruction, Jones’ rendering is shaded by a subtle gradation of vocal inflections that give the song a searing potency: She is sturdy and commanding one second and mournful the next, the song’s titular collapse filtered through a distinctly Jonesian lens of fortifying self-sufficiency. Even Petty recognized that quality about Jones, writing a killer kiss-off of a third verse to cap her interpretation: “It’s OK if you must go/ I’ll understand if you don’t/ You say goodbye right now/ I’ll still survive somehow/ Why should we let this drag on?” In Jones’ more-than-capable hands, a bluesy classic is transformed into a clarion call, summoning strength from the depths of its vulnerability. —Eric Torres

“Warm Leatherette”

Grace Jones' cover of the Normal's “Warm Leatherette” is one of her more bizarre interpretations. The original song, based on J.G. Ballard’s dystopian novel Crash, was a cold proto-industrial track riffing on the flattening of human affect due to post-modern technology. In Jones' hands, the song becomes a sassy tribute to the pleasures of ultraviolence, queering the original text from a self-serious and mega-ironic love poem into a campy exploration of black female sexual identity. By subverting the tropes of white, male, anglo sci-fi, Jones turned the Ballardian porno-nightmare into a celebration of perversion via the intersection of technology and sexuality. —Eric Shorey

“Pull Up to the Bumper”

Grace Jones pioneered the way for Shamir, Stromae, and countless other dance mavericks of today—not just with her bewitching candor but through her use of androgynous innuendo. “Pull Up to the Bumper” was initially banned in the United States for suggestive lyrics—“Pull up to my bumper baby/ In your long black limousine”—that were revolutionary because they were smart, risky, and intriguingly gender inclusive, just like Jones herself. By combining Studio 54’s pulsing drums and chic new-wave licks with the kaleidoscope of Andy Warhol’s playhouse (Jones was a regular in both scenes), “Bumper” became a crucial track for American dance music while pushing boundaries of raw sexuality. —Molly Beauchemin

[theevilmaninyourcomputer]

Let's defeat capitalism with the power of love; explaining democracy with crayons. (Or, my book report that went off the fucking rails).

Originally, my summer reading novel was The Odyssey; but 50 pages in, I discovered that I had no patience for lengthy, gratuitous travel-logs. So naturally I opted for the next logical choice: Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath. The irony of my decision didn't strike me until I sat down to write this commentary. And sure, Odysseus and Tom Joad are both vagrants, on a quest for 'home,' but the similarities end there. Odysseus is lost at sea, and finds direction in the promise of 'home', Penelope is his true North. The concept of 'home' is, to him, resolute. Home is a physical place to be sought out, home is the woman he loves, home is Ithaca. Tom on the other hand is DRIVEN from his birthland, but carries his 'home' with him as he undertakes the perilous journey to California. He, like Odysseus, searches for a home-only to realize that home is NOT a concrete place, but (and it has to be said), the friends we made along the way. 'Home' is "fambly." 

Those familial bonds; and beyond that, human connection, PEOPLE unified together as one honest-to-god democratic body are STRONGER than the system they have created (Steinbeck seems to write, with Rousseouian sincerity).

So I am sorry to report that...the title of this paper is a misnomer. While I, too, have often daydreamed about "defeating late stage Capitalism with the power of love," I've also pulled my head out of my ass long enough to realize that "the power of love" is not a viable weapon. Or, not the only weapon, at least. Through Steinbeck's eyes, the system rests on the backs of the people, and is held-up by "The Man" (school of rock)-the wealthy few, who lord over the penniless masses.

To be clear, this is not a revolutionary take. I think most people feel dissatisfied with late-stage capitalism. Steinbeck has faith in the inevitability of human progress, "This you may say of man-when theories change and crash, when schools, philosophies, when dark narrow alleys of thought grow and disintegrate, man reaches, stumbles forward...if the stumbling forward ache were not alive, the bombs would not fall, the throats would not be curt...fear the time when Manself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this one quality is the foundation of Manself..." (Steinbeck 150-151). But I am a young person living in America, and lately, human progress doesn't feel inexorable.

I mean, speaking candidly, what the hell am I supposed to do? The planet's burning down, the country's on the brink of civil war. Retirement is as much a pipe dream as buying a house. Everywhere I look, people are dying, and I can't do a godamned thing about it. Except, hold up a picket sign once and a while. I had to SEE Trump's blood on live TV to believe that he had a heart. And now that I have, I understand: these systems we've built aren't working anymore, but WE built them. We have every right to deconstruct them if they aren't serving us. When push comes to shove-we all bleed the same, we all die the same, and THAT is democracy. Death is democracy, and we are united under her. These institutions only exist because we allow them to. The state may be the beating heart of America, but we ARE the state. We are the blood in the arteries; pumping the oxygen, feeding the macine. 

I'm doing my best to come off as optimistic. In actuality, I'm jaded. I want the future I was promised by the country that prides itself on justice. Where was that justice for Sonya Massey? Where was that justice for Nex Benedict? I want to stand by my unwavering belief in the inherent goodness of the human spirit, but we keep HURTING each other.

The media has misinterpreted anarchy (to its detriment). Anarchy has become synonymous with rebellion, 'burning it down,' but really, Anarchy falls closer to pure libertarianism on the axis of leftist extremism. See, in the absence of a government, Anarchists are forced to rely on the kindness of their neighbors. In the words of Andreas Wittel, "Anarchism is a process whereby authority and domination is being replaced with non-hierarchical, horizontal structures, with voluntary associations between human beings. It is a form of social organisation with a set of key principles, such as self-organisation, voluntary association, freedom, autonomy, solidarity, direct democracy, egalitarianism and mutual aid" (The Conversation). So, you stay on your lawn, I stay on my lawn-we respect each other, and we work together when we need to, because selfishness serves no one. This idea is so basic, it was more or less taught on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Share your crayons, don't hit your friends-THAT is anarchy-kindergarten law. The issue is, we have to abolish the system to get there. Which, is where the "burning it down" thing comes in to play. 

Bobby and Sam are coloring, Bobby takes the entire box of crayons, leaving none for Sam. Sam asks if he could have a few back; Bobby spits on him and takes his paper. The teacher sees this interaction and chooses not to intervene, because Bobby is the principal's son. Now, Bobby and Sam could split the crayons equally, but that would mean Sam WILLINGLY giving a handful up. How do we resolve this conflict? Well, we get a new teacher, who stands for ALL of their students. A teacher who recognizes the injustice in one child hoarding all the art supplies.

I bring this up to evidence my point-as it stands, something's got to give. We aren't afraid of anarchy, we're afraid of the road to systemic change-ANY systemic change. Because to make substantial progress, we have to organize and...for lack of a better phrase, 'burn it down.' 

But hey, it's not about the journey, it's about the destination. Or, maybe it's the other way around. Just ask Tom Joad.

[callsigndragon]

Hold my hand chapter one is incredible, my Love!!!!

"Tom, the human shield that kept the siblings safe from their mother, was gone. And for the next 8 years, Jake counted the days left until they could run away from that house." - my poor baby cannot catch a break in any of your stories can he? Good! The drama is so amazing every single time and always so unique!!! 💗

"Jake thinks about it for a second. “Yeah… You can’t have a special secret mission only for the elite and not call her.” He looks at the flabbergasted expressions of the other two pilots and points at them with his index finger. “Don’t tell her I said that.”" - love, love, love that Jake is secretly admiring others, especially Phoenix, love this little detail!!! And I love that he is so close with Jenn and Javy that he freely shares this instead of the pretence of thinking he's better than everyone! Lovely characterisation and amazing dynamics between the characters!!! 💗

"“I’m Red Queen.” Jenkins announces, moving a step closer to him and smirking. “Want me to show you the report?”", "Jake clears his throat and gets up from his sitting position, as if he were really worried about looking like an idiot. More than he was already. “I am… I’m sorry. I really thought you were a myth. Everyone says you were the perfect student at the Naval Academy and, well, I am… I didn’t picture you like that.”" - hahaha, love this!!! Also, did Jake Hangman Seresin just apologise??? Ahhh, I love Red and Jake in any and every universe you write! I am so excited to see their love blossom in this one too!!! 💗

"Jake’s sister almost has a fangirl moment because, for the first time in years, Jake Seresin might be interested in someone for more than just sex. “I never thought I’d see this day.”", "“Can we emphasize the fact that he has fallen for the only girl that is better than him at his job?” Javy says biting his bottom lip to not laugh." - love the Jenn and Javy friendship!!! And hiw supportive they are of Jake!!! And I also love that you present the Red - Jake pair from outside perspective too!!! Amazing writing, Darling, absolutely amazing!!! 💗

"“What the fuck is he doing here? He’s not fast enough for a special mission,” Jenn says, as if that were the only reason she doesn’t want him there." - oh, the burn!!! I smell a roasting Rooster in here. Okay, jokes aside, I love Jenn! And the implied history between Jenn and Bradley! So exciting and intriguing!!! 💗

"She bought it for him when they were dating." - ahhhh! Again! The implied history between them and the fact that Bradley still wears the clothes Jenn bought him!!! And not just anywhere, but somewhere he may bump into Jenn!!! Ahhh, the layers!!! I love this and am so excited to see what will happen next!!! 💗

My love, as always, I am in awe of your talent and your ideas and just incredible writing!!! Such a gorgeous start to an awesome series!!! 💗💗💗

Lots of love and many hugs! 💗💗💗💗

(italics anon 💚)

"Tom, the human shield that kept the siblings safe from their mother, was gone. And for the next 8 years, Jake counted the days left until they could run away from that house." - my poor baby cannot catch a break in any of your stories can he? Good! The drama is so amazing every single time and always so unique!!! 💗

we need to establish that i love characters with traumatic pasts, thank you-

"Jake thinks about it for a second. “Yeah… You can’t have a special secret mission only for the elite and not call her.” He looks at the flabbergasted expressions of the other two pilots and points at them with his index finger. “Don’t tell her I said that.”" - love, love, love that Jake is secretly admiring others, especially Phoenix, love this little detail!!! And I love that he is so close with Jenn and Javy that he freely shares this instead of the pretence of thinking he's better than everyone! Lovely characterisation and amazing dynamics between the characters!!! 💗

Jake may be a dick half the time (and part of the other half) but deep down he's not bad... and i want to show that i guess?

"“I’m Red Queen.” Jenkins announces, moving a step closer to him and smirking. “Want me to show you the report?”", "Jake clears his throat and gets up from his sitting position, as if he were really worried about looking like an idiot. More than he was already. “I am… I’m sorry. I really thought you were a myth. Everyone says you were the perfect student at the Naval Academy and, well, I am… I didn’t picture you like that.”" - hahaha, love this!!! Also, did Jake Hangman Seresin just apologise??? Ahhh, I love Red and Jake in any and every universe you write! I am so excited to see their love blossom in this one too!!! 💗

yes. JAKE SERESIN JUST APOLOGIZED I SWEAR TO GOD THIS MAN IS DOWN HARD. but is red, what can we expect hahahah

lots of love 💚💚

[softpine]

i guess i must be having fun the less we say about it, the better make it up as we go along

[transcript]

[cherrycheridarling]

"that was painfully sexist" | t.h.

marvel cast x actress!reader

warnings: sexism and swearing

summary: at a panel for the new avenger's film, the questions differ drastically between the female and male actors on stage.

wc: 1.4k

"Okay, a microphone is coming your way, sir."

"Hi! I'm Leonard with Pop Times Blog. My question is for Y/N." your eyes found the bearded man who stood amongst the crowd of reporters.

You nodded, signalling for him to continue, "Playing Silk or Cindy Moon must've came with a lot of challenges. One of them being the costume you are in for most of the film. Can you speak about that and how it fit?" he paused at your skeptical expression, "Like, we all know the suit is skin tight, so did you eat anything special or workout a lot and are you able to wear anything underneath it? Or do you wear a thong and no bra?"

You let out an unenthusiastic chuckle at his question. Beside you, you could hear your cast mates scoffing under their breath. It was common for the women of the MCU to get asked such questions and it saddened you that people normalized such a thing.

Leaning forward, you clasped your hands together and smiled before Robert reached behind Tom Holland and tapped your shoulder, "Would you like me to say something?"

You shook your head, but gave him a grateful grin before returning to the 'man' that asked you such a question, while maintaining eye contact you spoke, "Well, I think the most difficult part about wearing the Silk costume is taking it off after a long day because of how sweaty I get after shooting," you began to fan yourself dramatically, "It all just clings to my body like a second skin and since I am completely nude underneath, it just adds to the problem." sarcasm dripped from your lips as your cast mates snickered at your words.

You quietly laughed to yourself, "I'm only kidding. That question seemed like such a joke that I presumed you expected a joking answer." you cleared your throat, "In all seriousness, it's an honour wearing the suit and I did visit the gym and do some physical fitness regularly to prepare for the role, as did all my cast mates. As for what I wore underneath," you grinned cheekily, having too much fun messing with the reporter, "A Spider-Man onesie was my go-to."

The whole room let out laughs at your words as Tom grabbed your hand and gave you a small squeeze, feeling sorry that you had to answer such absurd questions.

"I hope everyone doesn't sexualize Cindy Moon. She's only a teenager in the film, so keep it in your pants people. That shit is illegal." Anthony pointed an accusing finger at the crowd.

"Thank you for your thoughtful question, Leonard!" Scarlett spoke up, "I hope you got the answer you were looking for."

"Okay, next person."

You sat back in your seat and fiddled with Tom's fingers as the questions were asked towards your cast mates.

"You handled that impressively well, love." Tom whispered in your ear.

You gave him a smile and a shrug before your name got called again, "My question is for Y/N and Tom Holland." a lady with curly blonde hair stood up, "Since Silk and Spider-Man's abilities are very similar, did you two bond over that during shooting or did it cause some rivalry between your characters due to the similarities?"

You felt a wave of relief at the question, thankful that it wasn't another sexist one. Tom looked at you before answering.

"Yeah, yeah. We bonded a lot over that fact and I don't think it caused any rivalry between us. I hope not." he chuckled before you leaned towards the mic.

"No, no. No rivalry. Just a lot of banter about whose character is stronger and who swings around better. It's a lot of fun having someone on set whose stunts are basically the same as yours. And Tom and I have both agreed that Silk is faster and better than Spider-Man." you said that last part quickly drawing laughs and a gasp from Tom.

He looked at you incredulously, "Not true! Spider-Man's suit is so much cooler than Silk's." he huffed like a child.

You smirked, "Who makes their webbing in a high school chemistry class and who has organic silk coming out of her fingertips that she also used to create her own suit?"

Your friends laughed at the banter beside you before Sebastian started to speak, "I have to agree with Y/N on this one. Silk also has that cool ass eidetic memory."

Chris Evans agreed, "And her Silk Sense is a thousand times stronger than Spider-Man's Spidey Sense."

"Isn't she able to know who an attacker is before she even sees them?" Hemsworth asked to which everyone nodded.

"Sorry, Spidey. Silk's just a top tier hero." Robert patted his shoulder as Tom sulked.

The questions began again as the laughter died down. You leaned over to Tom's ear, "Still love the actor who plays Spider-Man even if his character is inferior to mine." he shook his head with a smile at your words.

Questions ranged from the generic ones of the funniest moments on set to who's most likely to become a villain. Your nerves died down as no incompetent person asked another sexist question. Until one did.

"I have a question for Y/N." she was short with jet black hair, "Being around all these attractive men must be a challenge for you as a young female adult. It couldn't have been easy to control yourself around them. Have you had any sexual relationships with any of them or thought about engaging in any?"

Your jaw hung open at her words and before you could muster up a retort, Tom let his anger get the best of him. Was it his anger, his jealousy or his protectiveness? A mix of all three.

"That was painfully sexist." he spoke into the microphone. "I don't see how any of that is relevant to the film. Y/N is an outstanding actress and it's outrageous that you decide to focus on who she fucks rather than her talent."

"What in the actual fuck did she just ask?" Sebastian added, making you laugh.

Chris Evans spoke up next, "Indeed. I thought this was a promotion for the movie not a real life dating app."

Benedict chuckled, "I fail to see how Y/N's private life holds any relevancy to this panel or the film itself."

"It's twenty-nineteen, people! Leave your sexist ass shit at home!" Anthony exclaimed drawing claps from the cast.

Elizabeth shook her head, "I've had my fair share of inappropriate questions, but nothing as horrid as that."

"First y'all ask about her underwear, now you ask about her sex life? Jesus Christ." Scarlett pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Seriously, she's like a daughter to me. That was incredibly disrespectful." Robert added with a disappointed head shake.

Similar comments were added by the rest of the cast as you felt an overwhelming amount of love wash over you. You were so unimaginably grateful for the people next to you.

"You don't have to answer that." Paul Bettany reminded you.

You shook your head and cleared your throat, "Thank you, guys." you looked to your cast mates, "But I'll answer. No, I have not. This cast is my second family and I've grown greatly as a person with them. I'm immensely thankful for the opportunity to call them my friends. And I agree, these men sitting up here with me are undoubtedly attractive, but they are also a great pain in the ass at times," everyone laughed at your choice of words, "And have I thought about having sex with any of them? Nope. Just Scar, Zoe and Liz." you finished with a wink as the room clapped for you.

You couldn't help but to feel a slight bit of sympathy for the woman. Her question was, without a doubt, uncalled for and unbelievably sexist, but the comments from the cast must've made this her most embarassing moment.

"I'm sure you meant no harm with your question. But a little heads up for next time; most actors prefer to talk about their career and their films rather than who they are laying in bed with. But thank you for coming out. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day." you gave her a genuine smile as she cowered back into her seat.

Robert once again reached over and gave your shoulder a squeeze, proud of how you handled the situation.

Tom interlaced your fingers with his and rubbed small circles on your knuckles.

You really were at home with these people and you couldn't have asked for a better family.

[tom-holland-parker]

I Wanna Wear Your Tie

Request: Can you please do a professor tom x student reader, she’s of age of course, and he takes a liking to her for being so smart and he can barely contain himself with every outfit she wears. And one day after class he asks her to hang back and things get very SMUTTY?

Warning: 18 + SMUT (oral, choking, vaginal sex), student/teacher relationship, cursing, age gap (legal)

Pairing: Professor!Tom x Student!Reader

Word count: 4081

Masterlist

Tom knew from the first time you walked into class he was going to have a hard time. Not because you were a trouble maker, he heard from your other professors that you were an extremely bright and well rounded student, but because you liked to wear the shortest sundresses he’d ever seen. Tom knew he fucked up by developing a crush on his student. It was immoral and he could lose the job he worked so hard to get. 

Tom had been staring at the email all weekend, debating all his choices. He knew the right thing to do was to report it and let the school handle everything, but a big part of him told himself to do otherwise.

Dear Professor Holland,

I want to wear your tie while you fuck me

Love Y/N

Tom let out a deep breath as he rubbed his eyes, refreshing his inbox once more in hopes you had sent another email, an explanation or maybe even an apology, anything that would avoid him having to send the response that he had drafted Friday night after he received your message. Of course as the hours passed he knew that hoping was pointless, Tom sighed looking over his drafted email for what seemed like the 100th time before hitting send. 

Ms. Y/L/N

In regards to your last email I have no choice but to report it to the school. I do, however, acknowledge that you are one of my highest scoring students so it is only fair that I give you a chance to explain yourself. Please meet me in my office Monday after class

Professor Holland

Little did Tom know you were freaking out, spending Saturday nursing your hangover from partying Friday night. It was a drunken mistake, you would’ve never sent the email had you been sober but leave it to the vodka to let you do something stupid.

You had one day to come up with some apology and still couldn’t find the right words. Countless drafts saved in your notes app, but none good enough to express the regret you felt by sending that email. Of course time wasn’t on your side and the hours moved faster than usual. Finally it was Monday afternoon and you sat in your door waiting for your final class of the day, his class

“Maybe if you just tell him it was a mistake he’ll understand” Your roommate Kendra laughed as she looked at your computer, you’d been rereading the email for hours, hoping it would go away. Glancing at the clock you sighed, “I have his class in an hour, how am I going to face him”

“You could skip”

“I’m already in enough trouble as it is I can’t skip class” You sighed, closing the laptop as you moved to put on your shoes, “I’ll just give the best apology he’s ever heard of and hopefully it’ll all work out”

Kendra chuckled, “who knows maybe you’ll get exactly what you wanted”. You rolled your eyes, “I’ll text you after class”

///

Tom watched as you entered class, his eyes trailing over your outfit, you were wearing his favorite dress, white with blue flowers. He chuckled at your innocent appearance but frowned when he noticed you taking a seat in the back instead of your usual seat in the front.

You showed up to class right on time, looking at your feet to avoid any eye contact with Tom. It was hard to concentrate when all you could think about was that stupid email. It didn’t help that he was wearing a tie today, the same tie you’d imagine him gagging you with on most nights. You shook your head trying to focus on forming an apology that wasn’t absolutely pathetic

“Alright class is over, If you have any questions about the assignment you can” his gaze shifted towards you, “email me”

Your eyes widened as you distracted yourself by putting your things in your bag. As if the universe wanted to see you completely embarrass yourself in front of the teacher you’d been crushing on all semester, you piled out the class with the rest of the students, trudging down the hallway towards his office. You stood outside the door for a few minutes, pacing back and forth as you tried to compose yourself. You took a deep breath, gathering all your courage as you knocked on the door 

“Come in” You heard his muffled voice from behind the door. You took a deep breath as you twisted the door knob walking into the well lit office. 

“Hi Professor, you said you needed to see me” You say trying to seem innocent. He cleared his throat pointing to the leather seat in front of his desk, “Please have a seat” 

Slowly you make your way to the seat, placing your bag on the floor as you stare at him. Tom took a deep breath, opening the email as he passed you his laptop, “When I get an email from my brightest student I expected a question about her latest essay not this”

Your face heated in embarrassment as you handed him the laptop, “Professor I’m so sorry I was very drunk Friday night and I know that isn’t an excuse but I didn’t mean to send that. If I could take it back I would just please don’t report this”

Tom watched as tears slowly began to trail down your face, “y/n I’m not going to report you”. 

You looked at him in disbelief, “Seriously”

“but you’re not getting off that easily” He closed his laptop, “You’ll be spending the week and your weekend helping me grade papers”

You let out a sigh of relief, “thank you professor I’m really sorry it ever happened”

Tom chuckled, “You’re one of the smartest girls in my class. I would hate to see you get in trouble because of one drunk mistake” You wiped your tears away, feeling yourself relax now that you knew you weren’t going to be in too much trouble. “After all you’re only young once, just try to keep your thoughts in a diary and not your emails”

You chuckled, picking up your bag as you got up to leave, “will do professor”

///

Tom instantly regretted his decision. Don’t get him wrong, having the extra help was amazing but it was hard to concentrate when all you wore were short dresses. He spent all week sitting at his desk, too afraid to get up for fear that his body would betray him and you see the hard on he was trying desperately to get rid of. Seeing you in class was hard enough but when he watched you in what seemed like your natural element it changed something in him.

He watched as you sat on the couch in his office, your hair tied back and your glasses slowly sliding down your face, every once in a while you had to push them back in place. Tom couldn’t help but smile at the faces you made while reading the essays, a look of annoyance when you read over an obvious mistake or the way your eyebrows furrowed when you wrote the feedback. He tried his hardest to keep his laughter inside whenever you got distracted and drew little faces in the margins. He hated to admit it, it made him feel terrible, but he was a professor falling for his student

“Professor I’m not sure about this” You said getting up from the couch as you walked towards his desk. Your voice knocked him out of his trance as he watched you hand the paper to him, “See the evidence goes along with the topic sentence but the explanation is still choppy” 

You watched as Tom took the paper from you, your breathing hitching when his hands grazed over yours. You shook your head reminding yourself that you were already here because your stupid feelings and if you kept letting yourself indulge in what was supposed to be your punishment you were going to end up in the deans office.

“I see what you mean,” Tom said looking over the paper, “just circle the paragraph and place it in the pile and I’ll look over it later.” He looked up, surprised to see how close you were to him, your chest inches away from his face. It was just his luck that you decided to wear a low cut dress today.

“Okay” You replied, taking the paper from him as you slowly moved back to the couch. Tom glanced at the clock noticing how late it was getting, “Well it’s getting late and you probably want to spend the you weekend somewhere way entertaining than here so you can leave, punishment over”

“Are you sure? I still owe you two more days and it doesn’t feel fair to end my punishment early” You said, grabbing another paper. You weren’t sure if you wanted to stay because it actually felt unfair or if you really just wanted an excuse to keep spending time with him. 

“Well if you insist, '' he chuckled, a part of him happy that you weren’t eager to leave, “But we can finish this tomorrow afternoon, I’ll walk you out”

You gathered your things, meeting Tom at the door where he waited for you, his hand resting on your back as he guided you out the room, locking the door behind him. “It’s dark, I’ll walk you to your car, Where are you parked?” Tom said looking at the parked cars on the street

“I don’t drive” You said awkwardly, “But my dorm is only a few blocks away from here I don’t mind walking”

Tom shook his head, “No way I’m letting you walk, it's too dangerous, I’ll drive you.” You watched as he took his keys out his pocket unlocking the black BMW parked across the street.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to get in the way” you looked down on your feet, here you were again too flustered to even look at him. Tom chuckled at your nervousness, “Don’t worry about it. I insist on it.” Your breath hitched as he placed his hand on your back again, guiding you towards the car.

It only took a few minutes for him to get to your dorm building, “well here we are” He said, parking his car before looking at you. You glanced at him nervously, “Thanks Professor”

“Call me Tom” he chuckled, “But only when were alone”

You wanted to punch yourself for feeling butterflies but you couldn’t help it. “Well Tom” You laughed, calling him by his name felt weird, “thank you”

He watched as you moved to grab the door handle but froze, “Oh I forgot to ask you about your assignment”

“What’s up?” he shrugged. “Well I know you wanted us to write about how the author uses the women in his novel to display power but I can’t write about that. The author clearly doesn’t see the woman as symbols of power he sees them as sex objects, which is shown multiple times throughout the text so I can’t write about something that isn’t true”

“So you don’t believe sex is a form of power?” Tom questioned trying not to smile at the way your brows furrowed in concentration

“Of course I believe sex is a form of power but for the author to display women having sex as a symbol for powerful femininity the woman would have to own their sexual desires and wants”

Tom chuckled, “If you really feel so strongly about that then write about it, I’d love to hear more about what you have to say about owning your sexual desires. Seems to me you know a lot about that” 

“Oh my god” You hide your face in your hands, “I didn’t even realize-”

“Don’t be embarrassed, if you can’t joke about it then you’ll let it eat you alive” Tom chuckled

“Well” you smiled, “I should probably get to writing”

“Yeah you should”

You both didn’t even noticed the way you both began to slowly lean into each other, the tension in the car growing thick

“Goodnight professor”

“It’s Tom” He said with a smile

You scrunch your nose, “Goodnight Tom”

Your faces were inches away from each other. He couldn’t help but steal a quick glance at your lips before looking back at your eyes. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t do the same, “Goodnight y/n”

You both stayed silent, letting the tension take over. Your lips grazing over each other. The kiss was slow at first but it soon progressed into passionate open mouth kisses, both of you giving into your desires.

Your hands reached to grab his face, shocked at how soft his cheeks felt. “Wait wait wait” Tom said, pulling away slowly. 

You caught your breath, wiping your lips as you moved back into your seat, “I should probably go”

Before Tom could say a word you were out the car rushing towards the dorm building. “Fuck” he said to himself as he leaned back into his seat. He knew he’d fucked up, but he couldn’t help the way he felt when he kissed you.

///

When you knocked on Tom’s office door the next day you were even more nervous than you were Monday. You were too embarrassed and instead of facing the problem head on you did what you did best, ignored it. 

You spent the afternoon on the couch, headphones on as an excuse to block out Tom. If you had a question you didn’t ask it and when you had a comment you didn’t say it. It was pure torture for you and Tom, yet you both chose to ignore the elephant in the room.

As the hours passed and the sun began to set Tom’s patience was growing thin. He couldn’t pretend like the kiss never happened, and if he was being honest with himself he wanted more.

You sighed in frustration, as hard as you tried to concentrate on the papers in front of you, you just couldn’t. Thoughts about last night flooded your brain making it hard to concentrate on even the simplest sentences. You threw the paper on the couch, ripping your headphones off, “I’m sorry but this silence is killing me, can we just get this awkward conversation over with”

“Alright well” Tom stared at you, unsure what to say. Yes he felt wrong but he also didn’t care. He got a taste of you and now he wanted more, “I apologize for what happened, it was completely unprofessional on my part”

You cleared your throat trying to find the right response, “yeah, well, I'm sorry too, we were both in the wrong and it shouldn’t have happened and I’m really hoping we can just move past this” 

“Yes I agree” Tom nodded his head, “So how are those papers coming along?”

You shrugged, sitting down in the exact leather chair you’d sat in on Monday, “There needs to be a study group or something, I mean if this is the writing skills of our future world leaders I’m honestly a little concerned”

Tom chuckled, his hands instinctively reaching for his tie, something you noticed he did subconsciously. Your heart skipped a beat as your stomach fluttered, “god get a grip girl” You thought as you blinked your lust filled thought away.

Tom smirked, noticing your reaction to the way you reacted to him, “Yes well not everyone has an easy time with writing as you do”. He touched his tie again, this time tugging on the knot a little.

Your breath hitched as your brain went foggy. A low chuckle leaving his mouth as you shook your head, “Well I’m not that great of a writer, I mean I have countless drafts that no one sees”

“Really?” Tom played with his tie, loving how much the simple habit affected you, “How many drafts did you make before you sent that email?”

Your eyes widening in surprise, “no drafts. Drunk me is the best writer”

Tom smiled, getting up from his seat as he moved to stand in front of you. You watched as he leaned against his desk. You bit your lip as you leaned back into the chair, enjoying the way that Tom seemed so much taller than you.

“You know you probably shouldn’t say that to your professor”

You smirked, “There’s a lot of things I shouldn’t say to my professor” You were playing with fire but the heat felt too good, it made you want to know what the burn felt like. “Fuck it, what’ve you got to lose” You thought to yourself as you smiled.

“Oh yeah?” Tom’s eyebrow raised in question as he leaned down towards you, his face only inches from you, “things like what?”

You smiled bringing your lips close to his ear, “Like how much I want you to fuck me”

The groan that left Tom had your thighs clenching together, “Yeah you definitely shouldn’t tell me that.” You chuckled as you leaned back in the seat, Tom’s eyes moved over your body like you were a work of art, “but then again as a teacher I probably shouldn’t want to fuck my student so badly”

Your lips parted in surprise as Tom smirked, his fingers gently trailing up your thigh. Your breath hitched in anticipation but a disappointed sigh left your mouth when his hand didn’t move past the hem of your short dress. “If this happens no one can know”

You nodded your head as his hand grabbed your chin, keeping your head in place and forcing you to look into his eyes, “Words darling”

“No one finds out” You gulped, your body frozen. You could feel yourself getting wet from the power he held over you. The feeling of his having control over you was intoxicating

“And you understand that I will never use this against you? You can leave right now and I will forget this ever happened and we can go right back to our normal professional student-teacher relationship”

“I understand professor” You nodded, wanting nothing more than for his hands to be all over you. 

“Good girl” He smiled, placing a quick kiss on your forehead, “Now go sit on my desk and spread those legs”

You smiled, quickly doing as you were told. Tom chuckled, amused by your excitement. You watched as he got on his knees, his eyes never leaving yours as he places kisses up your thighs, occasionally leaving a mark that would stay for days to come. “You’re so wet, all this over a couple of kisses?” He teased

Before you could answer Tom moved your underwear aside, placing a gentle kiss on your clit. You moaned, your hand instinctively reaching for his hair. “I knew you would taste good,” He said, licking his lips. He ate you like you were his last meal, licking and slurping you like a starving man. 

You’d never been more thankful that the school was empty on Saturdays, no one around to hear the moans that Tom was coaxing out of you. “Oh god” Your hips shamelessly bucking against his face as he pulled your legs onto his shoulder.

“Tom please” You whimpered as his tongue slowed down to a teasing pace. He groaned, his large hand slapping your thigh, “It’s professor.” His voice was demanding and powerful. Your eyes rolled back as his fingers stretched you, toes curling as he effortlessly found your g-spot. “Professor please I’m gonna cum”

“Cum for me baby” He moaned, “I want your cum all over my face”

His fingers moved faster as you reached your breaking point, loud moans leaving your mouth as your back arched. You could feel Tom smirking against your clit as your legs began to slightly shake. 

“You sound so pretty when you cum” Tom said as he stood up, your cum making his face glisten in the last bits of light that came from the windows of the office. You couldn’t help yourself, grabbing his shirt to pull him closer as you licked your cum off his face. 

“Someone’s eager” He joked as you kissed down his neck. “Hmm I can’t help it, you just look so sexy with my cum on your face. Plus I’ve been wanting this all semester so are you gonna give me what I want or am I gonna have to get it from someone else”

Tom’s jaw tightened as he grabbed your wrist, “Don’t be a brat or I’ll edge you all night and leave you with nothing”

You whimpered as Tom pulled you off the desk, “Now if I remember correctly,” you watched as he loosened his tie, “You wanted to wear this.” You nodded your head, watching as he took off the blue and white tie, taking a deep breath as he placed it around your neck. 

“And as much as I love you in this dress, I think I’d prefer for you to be out of it” He smirked. You chuckled, turning around so he could unzip the dress, letting the fabric pool at your feet. Tom’s arms snaked around your body he pulled your back into his. His fingers playing with your nipples, squeezing and pulling the sensitive area. You bit your lip, rubbing your ass against his hard on, your pussy desperate for more attention.

“Professor” You wined, “I want you”

“So needy baby” He chuckled against your skin as he kissed up your shoulder and neck, “Don’t worry, you’ve been a good girl I won’t tease you too much”

Your head rested against his shoulder as his hand twisted the tie, making it tighter around your throat, “Is this okay?” You nodded, wincing when his hand roughly slapped your ass, “Come on sweetheart you're smart enough to know that when I ask a question I expect an answer. Now use your words”

“Yes Professor” You said moaning as his hand gently rubbed the area he’d just hit. Tom quickly unbuckled his pants, pushing them down as he aligned himself with you. He teasingly rubbed the head of his cock on your clit, loving the low whimpers that escaped your mouth as your hips jolted up. 

Tom’s grip on your hips tightened, pushing you down into the desk as he bottomed you out. You moaned loudly as he began to thrust into you, “This is what you wanted right? Your professor fucking you like a slut”

You gripped the desk, trying your best to keep your balance. Tom gripped the tie again, the fabric pulling your head back. “Faster please Professor” You begged as you moved your hips. 

His hips sped up as his hand moved in front of you tracing figure eights on your clit. You became light headed from how tight the tie was but you couldn’t care less it all felt too good. “Sir Please It’s too much I’m gonna cum”

“Go on baby cum on my cock, give it to me” Tom sped up, becoming needier as he came closer to cumming. He pulled your body into his, fucking up into you as he kissed the harsh line where the tie met your skin. The sensation was too much for you as you came, your walls squeezing Tom, milking his cock of all his cum as he came shortly after you.

Your body went limp, leaning against the desk so you didn’t fall to the floor. Tom sighed, pulling out of you, groaning when he saw his cum leaking out your abused hole. “You did so good” Tom whispered as he kissed up your spine, “Such a good girl for me”

You slowly got up, turning around to face him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Tom smiled, picking you up and moving you to the couch, where you sat cuddled in his arms. “Are you okay?” he asked, still placing kisses all over your body

“I’m cold” You said, your head resting against his shoulder. He chuckled, quickly grabbing his jacket from his chair before returning to your tired body. You laid in his lap with his jacket wrapped around you, Tom’s hand running up and down your spine as he kissed your forehead.

You glanced at the clock, “it’s getting late”

Tom sighed, “let’s just stay like this for a little while, then we’ll get you dressed and I’ll drive you to your dorm”

[mischievoushiddleston]

Dirty Interview

Plot: Y/N has an interview with other actors, including Tom Hiddleston. But suddenly Tom starts whispering his dirty fantasies to her again and again. However, Tom doesn't know that she has never had sex...

Words: 1.6 K

Warnings: Smut, Loss of Virginity

Masterlist here!

"So what can you reveal about your new film?" The reporter asked curiously. Tom leaned back and put his arm on the backrest behind Y/N.

"Ehehe, I'm afraid we can't reveal too much." Tom laughed and Y/N nervously brushed a strand of Y/H/C hair behind her ear. The reporter turned to Sebastian Stan and tried to elicit more from him about the upcoming film. Tom leaned closer to Y/N's ear.

"You look stunning today." Y/N merely nodded appreciatively with a slight smile and took a sip of her water. "But I think without clothes completely naked you would look a lot better." Y/N swallows as she heard Tom's words. Although they both flirted with each other a little from time to time on the set, it never went beyond that. Tom gently stroked the skin of her upper arm and Y/N got goosebumps. "I would push you against a wall first and your leg over my shoulder before I would stick my tongue in your tight pussy. Then I would take your clit in my mouth and suck it while fucking you with my long fingers. After your first orgasm, I will force you onto your knees before fucking your mouth with my cock and filling your mouth with my cum. " Her cheeks began to burn red and her panties became unpleasantly wet. Meanwhile, the reporter talked to Paul and Elizabeth about their roles and their relationship in the movie.

"T-Tom..." Y/N stammered softly.

"Oh yes, you would moan my name loudly over and over again, begging for my cock until you were hoarse. Then I'll tie you to the bed with my tie and put your legs over my shoulders to thrust deeper into your pussy before filling you with my rock hard cock." Y/N slid around uncomfortably on the sofa, trying as best he could to ignore Tom and listen to the interview.

"So Y/N, what can you tell us about your role?" The reporter asked her and Tom leaned away from her, back on the sofa. His hand gently stroked her back, not drawing attention to himself.

"There's not much I'm allowed to tell, unfortunately, but my character is definitely something fans have been waiting for for a long time." The reporter and Y/N talked some more before she turned back to the other actors. Tom leaned in to Y/N again.

"And as soon as you reach your orgasm, I'm going to turn you over and fuck your sweet pussy from behind..."

"So I thank you for the interview and I'm really excited to see the movie." The reporter interrupted Tom And shook the actors' hands in farewell.

"Do you guys want to go out for a drink?" Sebastian asked the group.

"I...um am really really tired and will go home." Y/N quickly said goodbye and fled from Tom's side to her car. She quickly drove home, trying to comprehend what had just happened to Tom. Y/N threw her bag and car keys on the cabinet in the hallway and went to her kitchen. She grabbed a glass and poured water into it. A ring at her door pulled her out of her thoughts and Y/N set the glass on the counter before hurrying to the door. The ringing was now joined by a loud knock as well. "Coming!" Y/N opened the door and Tom stepped inside before she had a chance to slam the door in his face. Tom closed the door without taking his eyes off her.

"Before you say anything, I'm sorry if I crossed a line."

"You...you didn't cross a line. I...I liked it." Y/N admitted sheepishly. Tom now looked at her in confusion, having interpreted her sudden flight differently.

"So what's the problem then? A boyfriend? Husband?" He stepped closer to Y/N and she pressed against the wall, trying to create space between herself and him.

"It's embarrassing..." Tom looked at her questioningly, wanting Y/N to keep talking. He leaned toward her with both hands on the sides of the wall next to her head. "I've...I've never had sex before." Y/N looked sheepishly at both of their feet. Tom put a finger under her chin and lifted it up so she met his eyes. A wild and hungry look was in his blue eyes before his lips were on hers. Tom pulled her body close to his as he kissed her passionately.

"It's not embarrassing." Tom said as he pulled away from her slightly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll wait for you and take it slow if that's what you want." Y/N quickly shook her head.

"No, I want that, I want you." Tom kissed her again. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and explored. He pulled back slightly from Y/N and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Are you one hundred percent sure?" Tom asked again. Y/N merely nodded, not trusting her words. He gently lifted her up and her legs wrapped around his hips. Tom walked up the stairs with her and purposefully to her bedroom, as he and the other actors in the movie had been frequent visitors to her house. As soon as the couple arrived in her room, Ton turned her around and pushed her against the wall. Y/N could feel his erection against her and moaned. He kissed down her neck and nibbled on her collarbone. Tom disengaged himself from the wall with her and continued to the bed. He carefully laid her on the bed and pulled his shirt over his head. Tom crawled up behind Y/N and helped Y/N take off her shirt. He dropped it carelessly next to the bed. His hand slid behind her and unclasped her bra. Tom leaned down and sucked on her nipple. Y/N's hands tangled in his reddish blond hair.

"Oh Tom..." Y/N moaned. He looked up and kissed her with a smile on his lips. Tom kissed feather lightly down a path and stopped at the waistband of her pants. He looked into her eyes and silently asked for her consent. Slowly he unzipped her pants and pulled her pants including panties off over her legs. Tom looked at her hungrily and bent down to her pussy. He began to lick her along the crease of her pussy and stuck his tongue into her tight, potty hole. Y/N pulled him by his hair and moaned his name over and over. He repeated it over and over, thrusting his tongue in and out of her pussy. Tom sucked her clit and gently inserted his middle finger into her pussy and slowly began to pump. After a while he added his index finger and now pushed two fingers into her pussy. He felt her tighten around his fingers and sucked harder on her clit. Y/N shook uncontrollably and stiffened as she felt a real orgasm wash over her body for the first time. It was unlike anything else she had ever felt. The bed moved beneath her and Y/N opened her eyes to see what Tom was doing. He was standing next to the bed unbuckling his belt. Quickly his zipper was unzipped and he slid his pants and boxers down. Tom sat back down between her legs and gently laid his body on top of hers. His hands pulled her legs up and angled them. One hand held her leg and his other hand took his cock in his hand and guided it to the entrance of her pussy. Tom took her hand in his and held it together next to her head. He kept eye contact as he slowly pushed into her. When half of his cock was in her pussy, he pulled out almost completely before taking her virginity in one quick thrust. They both gasped and Tom rested his forehead against hers.

"Are you okay?" Tom asked anxiously. Y/N smiled lovingly at him.

"I'm more than fine." Y/N lifted her hips, showing that he could move. Tom slowly began to pull out of her before thrusting back into her pussy. Soon the slow pace was no longer enough and he increased the speed of his cock's thrusts. Loud moans filled the room as Tom thrust fast and hard into her. Y/N's nails scratched against his back. Tom released his hand from her leg and began rubbing her clit. Y/N began to tremble again and knew she was going to come at any moment. Tom began to pulse inside her as well. He began to rub her clit faster.

"Come with me, Y/N." Tom moaned. After more thrusts, they both came at the same time. Tom's cum flowed into her pussy. Both of them were breathing heavily. Tom pulled out of her and there was a little blood from Y/N on his cock. He got up from the bed and went into the bathroom. After a few seconds, he returned with a washcloth and wiped clean the mess between her thighs. Heedlessly he was the washcloth next to the bed and lay back down at Y/N's side. Tom pulled her to him and she laid her head on his chest. With her finger she drew small invisible circles on his chest. "Thank you." Tom said briefly, Y/N looked up questioningly. "For giving me the honor of being your first." Y/N smiled as she slowly fell asleep. "I love you, Y/N" He said even though he was sure she couldn't hear him anymore.

"I love you too, Tom." Murmured Y/N softly and Tom smiled before falling asleep as well.

Taglist is open! @fa-me @smoke-and-sunsets @everybitch

[sourholland]

okay 123 on that list with tom or harry would probably make me cry

Cherry || Harry Styles

a/n: this is a favorite of mine tbh, im quite happy with the way it came out

prompt list

When Fine Line came out, an almost suffocating rush of emotions hit you hard.

Even more difficult of a pill to swallow was the fact that at least ten people had texted about Cherry. More specifically about a voicemail you’d left Harry at the end of Cherry, a very personal voicemail you’d left after reading an even more personal letter he’d written you.

Upon hearing the song, a pit immediately formed in your stomach. It was clear that he’d written the song when tabloids were following you and a fling you’d had with a guy named Noah just after breaking up with Harry. He wasn’t famous at all, his face was unfamiliar and therefore brought a great deal of attention to your relationship.

Nothing hurt more than listening to him assume that you were at a better point. Noah was sweet and sensual, he was kind and a gentleman. However, he was not Harry.

Nothing hurt more than listening to him assume that you were at a better point. Noah was sweet and sensual, he was kind and a gentleman. However, he was not Harry.

Then photos had come out of Harry standing next to fans, dressed up in the sweater you most adored. His white flared pants and skewed about curls sent your heart plummeting. At least ten unsent drafted text messages later, you turned off your phone and put his boyish smile and messy hair out of your mind.

It was like you could never escape him, even at lunch with friends or driving through the city. Someone would make a point to mention how he’d asked if you were well, or that he seemed upset since the split. This only made things worse. Your cheeks would grow hot and feverish, chest tightening at the thought of his voice. It almost pained you to tell them to report back with a simple ‘I’m fine.’

How he’d found out about Noah’s parents private art gallery, you weren’t sure. This was still unknown to you, but you could only assume it was from a mutual friend who’d mentioned it.

Listening to him make this sudden jab in the song, even months after you and Noah had gone your separate ways still hurt. It reminded you of all of the memories you’d made, all of the late nights and early mornings. Harry always woke up with a stupid grin that never ceased to make you smile.

Sitting up from your spot on the couch, you stood and padded your way through the kitchen and to the bedroom. The hardwood chilled your feet, pulse quickening for some odd reason. This was not the first time you’d done this, and most likely would not be the last.

Sitting down criss cross on the floor, you reached underneath the bed and pulled out a shoebox. Inside were the few things you liked to hold onto but not look at, the things worth remembering that just hurt too much to think about.

The top came off easy, reaching inside and pulling out the letter felt like a stab at the heart, though. Having read over this letter a hundred times, on the corners were small little indents and even a tear or two. Teardrops had long fallen onto the paper, soaking into and becoming apart it.

He addressed the letter to you. To his Cherry. A nicknames you’d gotten at four in the morning, sitting at the counter of a twenty four hour diner. Coming home from a road trip, he’d pulled into the 1950s themed restaurant and said something about how much he loved the bright pink and blue colors on the outside.

After ordering the singular milkshake that the waitress had insisted on because it was ‘far more spontaneous and romantic,’ Harry stuck two straws in the ice cream. On top was a bright red cherry, to which you picked up by the stem and bite into. After this, you pulled him by the hoodie strings and pressed a firm and very fruity tasting kiss to his lips.

Unfolding the paper, you began to read the scribbled out writing that had started to fade a bit.

Cherry,

I couldn’t tell you how sorry I am for everything that happened last night. I never meant to say any of those things, I just couldn’t stand seeing you so distraught and in pain. Seeing you cry breaks my heart, being the reason you’re crying is just so much fucking worse.

You met me at a very strange time in my life. I was hurt, mentally and emotionally. Meeting you was like coming up for air, it was like I could finally see light and I didn’t feel so weak anymore. And I love you, I hope you know that. Whatever we were fighting about is bullshit, it doesn’t matter and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. I absolutely adore you, everything about you.

Most of all, I’m sorry that I had to go to the studio early. I should’ve been able to say this all to your face, to tell you how much I need you in my life. Call me when you read this.

Yours always,

H.

Pulling out your phone, unable to fight back the tears that had long since formed in your eyes. With shaky fingers, you texted the few words and didn’t hesitate to press send. Maybe you’d regret it, but maybe you’ll have wished you’d have sent it ten years down the line.

Please come home. It's not the same without you...