#i am very small and i have no money

[spoonyruncible]

.

I always forget that sometimes I get medically sick in a way that makes no sense but is also dramatically debilitating. Dramatically. Like, I sleep sixteen hours at a time, I have all the symptoms of a high fever with no fever, my stomach is ruined, I become moderately delirious, my anxiety spikes, and my whole body breaks out in a rash that looks a lot like measles. This lasts anywhere between four days to five weeks.

I dunno, I figure at some point I just kind of accepted it happens and that no one would ever help me. But I also kind of just put it in the back of my mind all the time because there doesn't seem to be any fixing or predicting it. Heat seems to, if not bring it on, at least make it significantly worse as I begin my Agonies ( I call this phenomenon my Agonies) by sweating so constantly that I am stickier than a lint roller and twice as miserable. There are chills, of course, there are always chills.

But the thing is that, through the joint pain and the extreme exhaustion, through the sweat slick fever mist, I always make sure my dog gets her goddamn walkies.

At the end of the day I'm the sort of a thing that's just going to feel bad rather a lot of the time. Much of this is no one's fault. But Rose doesn't know any of that, she just wants to sprint through the hot July air eating all the moths she can catch. And what I know is that, before she came to me, she was dumped in a crate full of her puppies which means that the most important reason for me is to make sure this stupid little animal is happy and loved no matter how terrible I feel. And I have felt terrible. I've missed two weeks of appointments, only barely made it to the pharmacy today (and my pharmacist had worried about me), and just kinda got by with the groceries I had on hand. But I'm not letting down my dog. I can't do shit to look after me, but I can haul my miserable corpse upright long enough to take care of dog.

[ravenmold]

Living somewhere pretty is such a waste honestly. Like you drive to the supermarket and you pass by mountains and vineyards and a freakin river and the sunlight through the leaves on the trees colour them such a startling vibrant green and everything inside you CLENCHES because you NEED to be there, you NEED to frolic around in the grasslands and picnic by the densely wooded riverside, but back home you have 7 loads of waiting laundry and two weeks' worth of work to do in one afternoon and you don't even have the spare money to go get a coffee at a new place for an hour. Frankly, living somewhere nasty might be better for my mental health - at least I won't be getting frequent glimpses of the life I'm missing.

[neon-danger]

I really fucking wish I was in Baltimore this week 😢

What’s happening in Baltimore

That one set at the bar place?

[jpegink]

just applied for 5 different art commission gigs 🙏🙏🙏 i hope i get a client today !

[l3irdl3rain]

and now for the Persephone update!

We were doing her work up that needed to be done prior to her Purdue appointment. Took the radiographs and Hey! What the fuck is that!? Sent them to a radiologist who said it’s chronic pulmonary effusion.

Now you may be wondering, how long has that been there? I don’t know. What’s causing it? I don’t know. Why isn’t she showing any symptoms? I don’t know. Will it worsen? I don’t know. Will it eventually start to negatively effect her? I don’t know. Will it change the treatment of her thyroid tumors going forward? This answer may surprise you: I don’t know.

For now I’m going to proceed with taking her to her initial Purdue visit and see what they say about the thyroid tumors. I’m worried they won’t be willing to do anything without doing a work up for her pulmonary effusion. And I’d love to pretend I’m the richest person in the world but I’m just not.

As always, I will keep you guys updated. But as of right now we’re proceeding with her Purdue visit on the 30th as normal.

[moeblob]

Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.

(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)

[phantomarine]

when someone asks me about making some sort of extravagant Phantomarine merchandise, I will now (lovingly) refer them to The Chart

[marsafter-dark]

Vash has decided that, you know what actually fuck this. He is 150 years old and he is going to embrace his Shrek energy and live as a hermit in a swamp.

He has layers, you guys, like an onion.

Close up of the man himself

[sankta-lucia]

American Duchess Penelope Ladies' Regency Slippers in dark green (x)

[mechagender]

Idk what a kinsona is but it looks cool as fuck so it can't be cringe it is epic 👍

a kinsona is a sona that takes attributes from a canon character and incorporates them into that design! sort of like a "based off of" thing! it's usually with fictionkin in mind but i've seen plenty of people make some for characters they just really like as well. you know how people on deviantart in the early 2000s used to draw naruto characters as emo wolves? sort of like that

[trigunbookclub]

I don't think it's okay to use nightow's artwork to make yourself some money selling stickers of it.

While funny edits and memes of official content are commonly made and sold by creators and I understand it is a topic of debate for many reasons, as I say in the post and on the page, it isn't about the money and I think I'd have to sell hundreds to even make much profit! I did a lot of calculations and the price is close to the supplies/costs/the size of the small print run/etc., and while I'm not the best at math, the cents leftover per sticker aren't adding up to much and--again, like I said in the post--will be spent getting leftovers in case of errors if it's enough. If someone chooses to leave a tip for running bookclub, I'm grateful, but a vast majority of people don't and that's fine and what I expect. The point is having fun and celebrating bookclub! The amount of people who wanted a sticker/badge of completion was enough that I really wanted to do something for you guys.

TL;DR: As I said in the original post, this was designed for fun, not money. Transparency is personally very important to me and I try to be as honest as I can whenever possible. Of course, I'm a stranger on the internet, you should take that with a grain of salt, but I do try to be clear about my intentions.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...

I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)

-

SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?

(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)

Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?

[nelyoslegalteam]

thinking about the timeline of my murdoc designs in game today so i’m gonna infodump

teen/young adult/early game

very insecure in his presentation

dresses Plain But Nice - likes a fitted dress shirt and a simple necktie sort of deal. not a jewelry person and doesn’t really take to embellishments on things.

color scheme tends a bit lighter - whites and baby blues as base colors, with some dark purples and goldenrod yellows as accents.

around the inn i think he experiments with suit pieces but probably isn’t wearing them much on the road yet. discovers he’s good with a waistcoat/suit vest. occasional nice jacket but doesn’t really end up keeping this as a look as he hates having That Much Fabric around his arms.

went a bit overboard on cutting his hair short for the first time and is very sensitive about the length. crops it pretty close, probably a lot more than is typical for a hobbitish hairstyle. learns that he likes to shave it off his neck both because having sensory input back there sucks and also because it feels a bit euphoric for him. curls on top still but he puts in a lot of effort to keep them looking neat and they’re still short for a hobbit.

does NOT wear armor. hates how bulky and constrictive it feels and really doesn’t consider it a necessity since he mostly fights from a distance anyhow. does wear a proper arm guard and archery glove for shooting though. hates trying to wear his arm guard over his sleeves so he takes to cuffing his dress shirts pretty dramatically to accommodate for it.

late-early game/early-mid game/new to being a public figure

acquires some of his signature Fancy items - most notably, this is when he gets his cape, which becomes his signature statement piece for the rest of the game. floor length, slightly heavier cape with midnight blue fabric as the base, heavily embroidered down the outside with iridescent “dragon” scales. are the scales fake? yeah. pretty much definitely. BUT they’re shiny with all sorts of purple and green tones like how crow feathers are and they look real neat. golden clasp and gold shoulder pieces.

murdoc’s still not quite a jewelry person but he does adopt gold as his metal to match the cape. also acquires some nice diamond cufflinks from thranduil’s halls and now cuffing his sleeves dramatically has the added bonus of showing them off.

suit vests are now a mainstay of his outfits, especially on the road. reinforces them with some flexible leather on the inside because his friends gently bullied him into wearing Some form of armor and at least that doesn’t feel too bulky or constricting.

starts incorporating royal/dark purples and blues as base colors in his outfits, either on his neckties or on his suit pieces. color scheme shifts a little darker overall to feature said dramatic purples and blues, with white and goldenrod as accent colors.

neckties also get a Lot fancier and he does like an elegant or flashy pin for them. loves a cravat or a ruffled collar on his shirt. learns he likes to dress up even when he’s just running about in the woods.

still shaves his neck for the sensory benefits but lets his curls get a little longer up top. partially this is because a close crop is harder to keep up as he spends more and more time on the road but also partially it’s… nice, to feel less pressure in the way he presents and to let his hair look more typically hobbitish again.

mid game/established as a public figure

hits a point where he becomes a Lot more comfortable and confident about his presentation and starts to absolutely relish being as sparkly and fancy as he possibly can. develops a taste for jewelry and starts experimenting with it. really leans into it after maedhros joins the party and murdoc gets close to him.

has an ornate necklace of rubies inlaid in gold, and a singular matching dangly earring, worn on the left. he gets these before meeting maedhros, but only settles on rubies as his stone after they get close, as the red becomes a private nod to him.

color scheme shifts to accommodate this - his main colors remain royal (or dark) purple and royal (or dark) blue with white to break things up, but his accents are now jewel-tone red and gold.

doesn’t change his hair any really - still likes it longer up top and shorter in the back - but isn’t as fussed about letting it get a bit longer if he’s been on the road for some time. sometimes when it’s long enough, ríros likes to do some braids in it - given that murdoc keeps his hair much shorter than most elves keep theirs, and also that it is a mess of curls, braiding it works better with maedhros walking them through smaller, more complex noldorin style braids. murdoc can’t really wear these in public though so he only keeps them in when it’s just him and the party. ríros does like figuring out how to get sindarin braids to stay in murdoc’s hair though and murdoc does leave these in around people, especially if they’ve been traveling for a while.

late game/post-hand loss/current

keeps his color scheme, ornate style of dress, and love of jewelry, but starts favoring looser fitted clothing, Especially when it comes to shirts.

wears braces for spine and shoulder support beneath his clothes. much like with his arm guard, he hates the feeling of trying to put them on over fabric, so his shirts get more blousy and campy. he Does like the aesthetic of it, but largely it’s so that he can move more comfortably and avoid anything constricting around or under his aids.

his injuries are actually pretty similar to maedhros’ on account of the hand loss and the damage to his spine and shoulder from being dangled, so he goes to maedhros a lot for advice and help. his braces are at least somewhat modeled after maedhros’ own, and maedhros helped design them on account of having a pretty good idea of what would help.

leaves his right uncovered; he’s got a special arm brace modified with a hook for him to draw his bow with, and it’s both more comfortable to wear and easier to take off/put on with his arm uncovered. still not opposed to a good dramatic cuff, but shirts without full sleeves end up feeling less bulky and are easier to manage. likes a good poofy sleeve that buttons neatly below his elbow.

notably, does Not give a fuck about covering his right in polite company either, or about wearing anything on it that doesn’t have a specific function for him. is simply Not going to do that. his ability to shut down bullshit was forged in the entire hospitality industry and he does not have any reservations about anything anymore. did You fight a werewolf? no? then kindly shut up :)

gives up on cropping his hair shorter in the back, and lets it get shaggier and more neck length. it’s a Very hobbitish look. he completely hates it from a sensory standpoint, but he doesn’t really have the energy for anything requiring more precise or more frequent maintenance. it’s fine aesthetically when he’s at the inn or staying somewhere longterm where he can get up the spoons to wrangle it to be as intentionally styled as he likes, and it’s nice to have the visual reminder of his heritage when This Many years of adventuring have started to wear on how hobbitish he feels, but it’s a fucking Sensory Pain when on the road. hates having it loose if he doesn’t have the spoons to style it and is very insecure about how unpresentable it looks. ríros helps a lot by modifying sindarin style braids for murdoc’s length, and maedhros helps a lot by advising on what’s easiest and most comfortable for murdoc to maintain on his own and/or keep in longterm. almost always has those modified sindarin braids in while on the road, equally because he likes the look of them, because they’re comfortable from a sensory standpoint, and because letting ríros braid his hair for him is important bonding time for them both.

[odekirk]

hey jude. I was wondering if I could get some bcs thots regarding Kim. I've tried to understand this character before but I always seem to hit a wall. The others I intuitively perceive their motivations and sense of the character, but I just end up going in circles with kim. I can't get a handle on her temperament, or understand her reasoning beyond a surface level. Do you have any Kim insights that can help? ty!

I feel like this ask could have been written by most of the characters that Kim interacts with. Howard and Rich Schweikart and Suzanne Ericsen and Kevin Wachtell be like, I can’t understand Kim’s temperament or motivations!

Not every character on this show is in the habit of giving long expository monologues, but Kim in particular has LOTS of scenes where she is deliberately keeping quiet, saying nothing, revealing nothing. Think of the scene where Chuck tells her about Jimmy’s stealing, for example, or her interview at Schweikart & Cokely, or when that one judge just conversationally was like “Hurt your arm?” and she was like “Yes. 🗿” Or when this tendency was heightened almost to parody in 609 when she had to be pushed and pushed and pushed to reveal to the judge that she had already resigned from the bar—I could go on.

Her silence itself reveals temperament and motivation: she has a very strong protective instinct, and is very defensive of both herself and the people she cares about. “Loose lips sink ships”-type deal. In her flashbacks with her mom, Kim shows that same defensive instinct in actions rather than words by refusing to get in the car with her mom who’s been drinking. And of course, you have basically Everything that Ever happens between her and Jimmy—defending him against Howard in 109 (also trying to shield him from finding out the truth about Chuck in the same episode), defending him throughout season 2, staying silent instead of revealing that he lied about the Mesa Verde commercial, staying silent while Chuck gives his long spiel, casting doubt on Chuck’s allegations against him when she knows them to be true, defending him (literally) in court in 304 and 305… again, I could go on, but I would just be recapping the events of the entire show.

When Kim takes that turn at the end of season five, a lot of fans were confused by it, and while Kim Understanders may boast a complete lack of shock, I think there is a change evident in her. The question is, what kind of change?

Is it merely bad writing, a forced reversal driven by plot wants rather than character needs?

Is it evidence of Jimmy’s corrupting influence on her, taking a previously moral person and turning her amoral?

Is it evidence of a deep hidden evil coming to the surface?

Or is it an evolving manifestation of the same traits Kim has always exhibited?

Looking at Kim’s defensive and protective instincts more closely, we can see that it’s not just that she wants to always do the safe thing forever. She is willing to take risks if a couple conditions are satisfied:

The end is at least acceptable (e.g. Mesa Verde getting a larger branch approved, from which nobody is likely to really suffer), and ideally righteous (e.g. the Kettlemans being forced to pay back their victims and being too scared to scam again).

She’s in on it.

That’s why she was on board for the entire Mr. Acker scheme and then furious when Jimmy went ahead with it without her approval. The first condition was satisfied (“Everybody wins!”) but the second was not.

When she comes up with the idea to scam Howard, both conditions are satisfied—the residents of Sandpiper Crossing will get their money faster, everyone involved with the case still gets paid, and when Jimmy gets paid, they will use that money to help more people. And she’s in on it.

She consistently wants to satisfy both of those two conditions, and those two conditions satisfy her basic instincts. Acting righteously (in a sort of utilitarian sense) satisfies her instinct to protect the people she cares about—because she does deeply care about the people she works for, and is clearly trying both before 607 and after (when she goes to the legal aid clinic to volunteer) to dedicate her life to them. And being in on it satisfies her defensive, self-protective instinct. When things are good between her and Jimmy and everything is going right, it’s like they have an invisible force field around them. No one else can see it, “nobody knows what we’re doing but us”—in that way it offers a level of safety far above and beyond that of, say, Jimmy’s dad, who acts righteously but also plays everything above board and ends up getting fucked over as a result.

Anyway,

[zzombiecleo]

i wam. merch. :(

[oatbugs]

shaking of leaves by into it over it is genuinely one of the top songs of all time