#i based her off of a phoenix. which is probably obvious

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

a lil Peril scribble <3

[hunnyswift]

chapter one: who is bob fucking?

series masterlist next chapter

summary: in which the dagger squad is suspicious of bob floyd having a girlfriend and intend on spying on a date, but really? it’s just his little sister who’s paying him a visit.

chapter cw: profanity, sexual innuendos, phoenix x hangman (i had to lol), nosey ass friends

18+ mdni

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟

for a couple of weeks , bob had been passing on going out with the team. “ah , i’ve already got plans for the night,” and “gonna call it early today,” being only two of the several excuses he had made to get out of hanging out at the hard deck. after about the fourth time of bailing , the group started raising concerns — behind bob’s back.

“maybe he’s realizing he doesn’t wanna hang around hangman anymore. probably tired of the constant harassment,” phoenix suggested , nudging the blonde man with her elbow and a smile.

“nah , he’s probably shaking up with some girl and doesn’t want us to know about it,” fanboy conspired , shaking his head at the prior idea. “payback saw some gir texting him the other day.”

everyone looked at payback , wanting some answers to the several questions they had. when did this happen? what was her name? what did the text say? could you tell if it was his girlfriend? why didn’t you tell us?

phoenix came off the nosiest , not believing that her own friend would keep a secret like this. hangman and coyote couldn’t believe what they were hearing in general — baby on board keeping his hookup a secret! rooster was in some sort of disbelief , but he couldn’t help but be a little proud of bob.

rooster had gotten closer with bob than he expected when he first met the kid. he was always shy and awkward , especially around women. “good for him,” he spoke aloud, “we should leave him be.”

“hold on , we just found out bob’s banging some chick in secret and you want us to not poke around and find out who it is?” hangman laughed , receiving a harsh slap to the back of his head from phoenix.

“yeah,” rooster replied. simple as that. he sipped on his beer , looking at hangman harshly. “respect his privacy. you bother all of us enough.”

“c’mon , rooster!” fanboy cried , pleading with the man, “we at least gotta figure out who it is!”

“they’re going for dinner tomorrow evening,” payback chimed in , not siding too heavily for either choice. he couldn’t care less about snooping around , but it was fun to watch everyone else get all twisted about it all.

phoenix agreed next , throwing out a simple “it’d be nice to at least know where he’s going off to all the time.”

“fine,” rooster gave up. he wouldn’t be able to stop the team from doing what they wanted , so what was the point in arguing. “but we need to come up with a plan that’s not obvious.”

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟

you were loving san diego so far. with your brother getting stationed there for the foreseen future , you decided visiting for a while would be nice. get a change of scenery , a break from your current life that was in shambles.

just before coming out west , your boyfriend of five years left you out of the blue. he said that ‘there just isn’t a spark anymore’ and that he had met someone else. he admitted to seeing her for months at that point , apologizing for how it all happened but knowing it was ‘for the best’.

to you , it was all a pile of bullshit. you packed all of your things up that night and left. you called your big brother right away , and that’s when all of the tears you held back came rushing out. you both decided it would be nice for you to come out west and spend some time with him before moving back to your parents’ place for awhile. it would give you time to process everything.

since coming out , you’d been living your best life. robbie found you a nice place to rent out for awhile. it was a small airbnb not too far off base. you were by yourself , but most days he came over anyway. you had found it was for the better , that you didn’t spend too much time by yourself at the condo.

you found yourself coming up with things to do throughout the days. there was a small market every tuesday and friday morning down the road that you frequented , a surfing class you picked up , and you even decided to start learning how to paint. even though you had picked up hobbies , when you were by yourself you tended to think back to the real world.

you had no place to live , no boyfriend , and no idea what to do with your life. it didn’t help that your only friend was your brother. you had tried convincing him to bring you around his squad , but robbie was firm on keeping work and personal separate. he didn’t think you’d like the team all that much anyway despite asking him about them all the time.

it was a friday. like usual , you and your brother had dinner plans— a new restaurant every week , trying to hit ever local place before you leave. but , you decided it was finally the time you were going to get him to break. you needed more friends than him. you were were starting to feel guilty. like you were keeping him from his life. what better way to start meeting people than , well , meeting people?

you arrive to the restaurant a little after your brother did. he already grabbed you a table , so you headed inside to find him. “robbie! this place is so cute!” you gasped , hugging him quickly before sitting down.

“eh— thought you’d like it , y’know? the menu looks good too,” he smiled coyly , picking his back up to scan again.

“great , i’m starving!” you groaned , settling in for dinner.

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟

“holy shit! baby on board bagged her?” hangman howled , watching you from the packed car he , rooster , phoenix , fanboy , coyote , and Payback managed to fit themselves in to stakeout the restaurant. their heads all turned as they watched you walk to meet up with bob. objectively , you were beautiful.

payback and fanboy high fived in congratulations to bob. he did good. “okay let’s go in!” payback suggested , reaching for the door handle.

rooster quickly slapped his hand away. “knock it off!”

“yeah , we found out he’s seeing a girl. maybe we shouldn’t crash their date?” phoenix cringed from the front seat. god , bob would be so embarrassed if —

“i’m going!” coyote laughed , opening a door , subsequently causing fanboy and rooster to fall out after him.

they all grumbled , phoenix shouting at them while payback and hangman jump out too. “c’mon , hot stuff! we’re crashing!” hangman smiled , opening her side’s door to let her out.

“jacob , this isn’t nice!” she huffed , trudging behind the guys with rooster at her side.

they entered the building , not even bothering to try and hide the fact they were crashing bob’s date. thankfully , the group was coming up behind you , and he got a look before you did.

“you have to be kidding me right now,” bob whined , interrupting you talking about one of the items on the menu.

“what , bobby?” you question , scrunching your nose up at his words. you see his eyes looking past you , so you turn in your chair. a group of people were walking your way , but you didn’t think anything of it and look at your brother again. “robert?”

“well , well , well. what do we have here?” a new voice cuts in as the group you saw stopped at your table. you looked up in confusion , seeing so many grins and smirks throughout their faces. the tall blonde in front was speaking, “who’s this lovely young lady , bob?”

your eyebrows furrowed , looking between your brother and the strangers. “bobby , do you know these people?”

“y/n , this is my team,” bob groaned , hating the moment happening right now, “what are you guys doing here?” he was clearly frustrated with the situation , but the moment you found out who everyone was , you were beyond excited. you didn’t even end up needing to ask bob about it again yourself. you got what you wanted without even trying to! it’s like the earth knew your plan of begging bob to introduce you to his friends for the hundredth time and decided to reward you with this.

“hi , guys! i’ve heard so much about you!” you beamed , waving at the group and rotating to face them better, “i was going to ask bobby when i was going to meet you all again tonight!” they all waved back politely with matching smiles.

“really? cause we haven’t heard anything ‘bout you! we had to stalk baby on board today to even get a glance!” a man laughed , not meaning for it to sound so brash.

you knew your brother didn’t talk about you to the team , so you didn’t see any harm in the comment. “yeah! he doesn’t like to brag about me too much,” you laughed it off.

“how long ya been dating our boy here for?” payback asked , excited to get some answers after knowing this partial secret by himself.

you audibly gagged , clutching your chest in protection of yourself in a way while bobby groaned , letting his head fall back. “oh , my goodness! ew , ew , ew , ew! no , no! that’s — no , that’s disgusting!” you rushed out , laughing in revulsion.

bobby cursed under his breath and took a deep breath. “this is my little sister , you guys.” god , help him get out of this.

his team all grumbled in confusion , clearly thinking you and him were on a date. “so you two aren’t secretly dating?” one of the men spoke up , pointing between you.

“and you haven’t been hiding your lover from us?” another asked bobby.

“i’m so confused!” the one woman guffawed.

“no!” you scoffed , looking at your brother across the table in disgust, “i’m in town visiting him , and he doesn’t want to mix work life and home life , so he’s been refusing to let me meet you all,” you explained.

“my plan was doing just fine until now,” bob grunted , crossing his arms. he knew his team. he knew the men were boys , and he didn’t want his sister getting anywhere near them. “thanks a lot.”

ooooh! first floyd!reader chapter:) pls lmk if u like it <3

[two-dolla-bills]

Top 10 mechanisms songs that you can get away with playing at a retailers without too many side eyes

I got a job in retail and I felt inspired lol

Disclaimer: this is not a list of the best mechanisms songs/the ones I think deserve to go "mainstream", they're just the ones that would blend in the best

1. Sirens

This song is probably the mechanisms' least "centered" song. It doesn't mention any characters, it has no narration, and out of context it just sounds like A Song that you might hear on the radio. Sirens is to the mechanisms as you're the one that I want is to grease, you know?

2. Trial by song

THIS one. It's in the same category to me as Sirens; you can listen to it by itself and not suspect much. Unlike Sirens which can be completely separated and still make sense, this one is more like a whole new world from Aladdin. There are parts that make it obvious that it's from a larger whole, but if you just so happen to catch the "safe" parts you won't suspect much.

Points were deducted due to Mr. Soldier's unique vocals. (Unique as in not very common in mainstream music)

3. Empty trail

This is no offense to Dr. La Cognizzi, but sometimes when she sings it's hard to make out what she's saying, which works in her favor in these circumstances. It sounds country/rock, which help it blend in with some dad rock songs. If I remember correctly, the melody was actually taken from a Led Zeppelin song, so if you aren't paying attention to what's ACTUALLY being said you can get away with claiming it's a cover.

4. Ties that bind

Although this one does mention many plot points, many fans have stated that they had no idea what the fuck was being said until the have looked for the lyrics (myself included) this, combined with it's jazzy rythm, make it able to blend in with other songs, similarly to empty trail

5. Odin

The most "normal" song out of the entirety of The Bifrost Incident. This song made it to the top five because it has similarities with Roam by the B-52's, but had points deducted due to it clearly being about an awesome space train

6. Lost in the cosmos

This might just be personal opinion, but it sounds like a church song. You can pull off the effect of it being about earth Jesus and not space robot Jesus if you have particularly bad quality speakers and a busy store w/lots of noise. Again, the lyrics kinda give it away as to not being entirely main stream

7. Stranger

Look it's a banger, ok? Many of the lyrics could be taken as just being metaphors, but I feel like you have to squint to "see" it. Pay too much attention and shit gets a little weird. Also, points deducted because it's two men singing together and not a man and a woman, which throws a wrench into the works. At kohl's it might raise some eyebrows but in like hot topic it'll blend in a little better

8. Redeath

You would think a song about a sphoenix (space phoenix) would be lower on the list but you'd be wrong. It's a really pretty song with a good original melody, and it's something that can be drowned out by a particularly rowdy crowd. Like Stranger, it would blend in better at a hot topic than at kohl's, but only slightly.

9. Elysian Fields

The melody in Elysian Fields is taken directly from the song wayfaring stranger, which has been coverd by Jonny Cash, Ed Sheeran, Poor Man's Poison, and The Longest Johns, AS WELL HAS having been featured in the movie 1917 and in the video game The Last of Us II, which make it very recognizable. Because of this recognizability, people who know the original song may be caught off guard by hearing it in a Walmart with completely different lyrics. It was originally in 7th place, but the popularity of the original takes off many points

10. Once and future king

It's a banger, don't get me wrong, but it also very heavily and clearly mentions plot points from the album, which itself is heavily base on Aurtharian mythology; something very well known in the western world (also the names are not common at all and most haven't been in fashion in centuries). In a crowded, busy space with not very good quality speakers it could potentially blend in, but one or two names might sneak out. The only reason it's on the list is because of the instrumental outro, which sounds normal enough

[ninjagirlstar5]

This is for my mutual that requested that I do Kakeru next, so I did! I actually had this finished all in one day but it was very late where I was by the time I was done, so I had to shelve it for today instead.

Kakeru's OG design is just...funny, when you find out his Ultimate Talent. This man does not look like a lawyer and looks like any other muscular guy that probably does sports. Which makes it even funnier when you find out that, no, he doesn't actually do sports, he was literally just born like this! This man was blessed with the best health possible, and yet he feels ashamed for this because his sister was born very sickly, so he blames himself for "taking away her health" when it's not his fault. It's just how life goes sometimes. But anyways, back to his redesign. I chose to base this redesign off of his splash art as he actually looks like a lawyer in that than his in-game sprite, but changed it up and added details to it since I didn't want to straight up copy it. Based off of his OG design, he was dressed pretty casually, so I decided to have his shirt collar slightly unbuttoned and kept it untucked, his suit jacket open, and his tie a little more loose. I gave him boots to add a bit of flair to his design, gave him small earrings, an attorney badge, and a tie pin to keep it attached to his shirt and prevent it from flying off. It's to show that while he's casual, he's still a professional. Also, in his splash art, he's shown wearing glasses, so I'm questioning why LINUJ didn't let him keep that??? What, are those reading glasses, fake glasses to make himself look smarter, or are those glasses that he actually needs to see from? Imagine that those are prescribed glasses, and he's walking around the killing game with blurry vision the whole time he was alive, lmao. But seriously, it's weird cause in one of LINUJ's sketches where he drew what the 79th class would look like if they survived, he has his glasses again so the state of his eyesight is just one big question mark. So I just said, "Fuck it, he has glasses" and that was it. It honestly adds to his professional and smart aura, which actually adds to his intimidation since you'd expect him to be very serious...and then it turns out he's super sweet and shy outside of court. And what helps hint to his softer, sillier side would be the flame design on his tie, as ties with goofy designs like that can show that this person can be silly if they want to be (at least, character wise). And I didn't want to get rid of the flame design on his shirt completely, so I decided to call back to it by moving it onto his tie instead. A tie that his sister probably chose for him, so Kakeru would wear it all the time, hehe. His hair barely changed, I just adjusted it so that it has a better shape. As for the colors, I made Kakeru's tanned skin a bit more obvious, and kept his colors quite monotone aside from the tie and gold metal of his earrings, tie pin, attorney badge, and the buckles of his boots. Fun fact: I originally made his suit blue, but decided that he looked too much like Phoenix Wright and desaturated the colors to look more gray, haha.

Anyways, I love Kakeru. I just wished he acted more like a lawyer in-game, you know?

[underthenightskydreamsneverdie]

Introduce Yourself

Thank you @pugsnotdrugs92 for tagging me 💜😚

My MC is named Aldora Stone, and aside from the name and her purple hair she's just like me, a proud Hufflepuff 🦡💛 She is an American muggle born, her parents jobs move them to London when she was eight.

Now on to me! *Evil laughter*

Favorite Character? I feel like this is obvious, but, Sebastian Sallow has my entire heart and I'll never ask for it back.💚 Fun fact: I played the game on my boyfriends Xbox (which he lovingly let me borrow for an entire month) So naturally I started playing the moment he got it hooked up to my tv. He sat next to me the first time I saw Sebastian, and laughed when I said "He's my new Hogwarts boyfriend" after kicking Sebastian's butt in the duel. He later confessed he knew I would say that, and was only a tiny bit worried I would leave him for a fictional video game character because I talked about him so much. And now we're here. He 100% supports me writing smutty filth about Sebastian because 1.) he's amazing 2.) he knows he's my real life Sebastian, and 3.) he knows that I base 90% of my version of Sebastian off of him.

Least Favorite Character? I want to say Leander, but Everett is starting to surpass him as my least fav these days. But I will always be down for some Leander Slander. ALWAYS.

Favorite Professor? Hecat, she's a badass babe and I wish we could have more time with her.

Least Favorite Professor? I'm going to say Sharp, purely because I feel they could have done so much more with his class and he's so distant with us. He could have been a great side mentor for MC.

Favorite Questline? I'm just going with Sebastians questline because it was nice to see his story progress, but also because I giggled like a moron whenever I was around him, even when he was being a buttface.

Least Favorite Questline? Probably the Dedalian Keys. Just give me the super cool robe, I don't want to work for it! Who do I have to kill to make this happen??

Favorite Beast? I love the Fwoopers, they're so precious and beautiful, but then so are the Jobberknolls, and the Phoenix. I have a weak spot for the birds, I guess.

Least Favorite Beast? Giant purple toads. I absolutely hate toads and frogs. They are my oldest fear and they make apparencies in all of my nightmares.

Favorite Spell? Diffindo! I love slicing my enemies to bits from 50 paces away. That sounded super violent, and I liked it. I also love using Bombarda when I'm right in front of someone...

Least Favorite Spell? I'm gonna go with Descendo because it wasn't violent enough for my taste. None of those flip, slam, push spells were IMO.

Alrighty then, that was fun! Hopefully you guys don't think I'm crazy now 😳🤪

Tagging: @freesiriusblack , @accioquill , @roohuh , @cranetreegang

[typotripprr]

hey i'm bored so i compiled a list of random cytus ii trivia things i found from others or discovered myself (this is a long post)

there's spoilers but it's like 5 things. but be careful anyway

if you listen reallllly closely to joe's character menu theme you can hear the joez cafe theme behind it it's pretty neat

neko and xenon's ring tones are their respective character menu themes

^ additionally, in her dlc logs her ringtone is her dlc character theme, while in the main story logs it's her normal one

credence (cherry's list) and phantom razor (xenon's list) both appear in neko's dlc logs when she goes to under velvet, which is also why those two songs have glitch charts for them

sunday night blues appears in neko's dlc logs, making it the only black market song to appear in the story

(an obvious one, but) sairai is a secret song in xenon's list, which is why the deemo x cytus ii collab for alice's character has him in it

^ the same is true for fur war, pur war and conner, fwpw appears in conner's list and conner appears in hans' story

i remember this one thing about nekosaikou's real name being bob but i'll have to find it. it's there though.

the first song in ilka's list, alb (meaning white), likely represents ilka. the last song you unlock (as of 4.8) on ilka's list is noir (meaning black) which also likely represents violette

re:the end -再- -> re:the end -cy- -> re:the end -cytus-

eternity (silaver ft. nathan brunley) has like 6 different versions of it for some reason but from what i can tell only 4 are available

atonement (sihanatsuka) is unlocked in Cam_KyuuLab_698_06_02, which is when phoenix atones for all the things he did to nora (breaks down sobbing)

as of 4.9, graff.j has 95 songs. rayark, stop giving him more. we do not need more collabs (except arcaea collab we'lltake that)

although conner himself is not directly on his song select background, there is a prosthetic arm and eye on it. weird.

speaking of conner, cherry says that she thought he was in his 50s, while conner is actually 35. so he's old but not really old

vanessa technically has the most original songs considering that all 22 of her songs are made specifically for cytus ii

sta composed incyde, though under the alias of YbeLL. if you reverse it to get LLebY, then convert it with a caesar cipher with a left shift of three, you get "II by V". ii for cytus ii (presumably) and v for well. vanessa

vanessa also has a song named ii-v which is 2:05 minutes long

neko's favorite dish is a meat stew that include pork belly, meaning domesticated farm animals like pigs likely still exist in this time

but also stray animals without chip collars get taken away by the admins (a.r.c. or something) so hmmmmmm

a more well known fact, but kai is directly based off of kiva

that one 'i am lady' post by txpazolite in game is based off a tweet made by t+pazolite

if you look at the bottom left corner of conner's bad end background you can see some pills scattered around, so maybe he takes medication of some sort?

^ also he kept a photo of sasha hidden on his desk

a.r.c. kinda just falls out of the sky in the bad ending (as shown in aroma's, cherry's, and xenon's bad end backgrounds)

as seen in his oa area, robo's room in node 08 has a window that's overlooking a.r.c. (which is also absent in his bad end background)

(recently and accidentally rediscovered) e00 has some pretty fucked up dialogue when going through the free characters' oa spaces after completing every oa task (personal most-fucked-up for me are "E00200... It's just a serial number, it's not my name." and "The cost? Probably the loss of emotions and... the ability to communicate with others.")

that's everything i have so far, i may or may not find more in the future but who knows anyway have a good day/night and bye

[nikkisversionx]

welcome and intro! 🩵

so if it isn’t obvious enough, im new to this whole posting on tumblr thing. i’ve been using tumblr for a LONG time but only now have i decided to actually invest into it.

but anyways you’ll most likely find top gun/marvel stuff here because

1: my mom is a die hard fan of top gun and tom cruise and now that obsession has been passed onto me

and

2: my dad has been a marvel fans since the 10s and same with my mom, that has been passed onto me 😆

a few other things that are probably irrelevant lol

- im an equestrian! i’ve been riding since i was 10 and i love it with my whole life 🩷🐴

- im a violinist as well but i began with the piano when i was 2 and started the violin at 6 (and that’s with having a korean mom 😂)

- my profile picture is a picture of my beloved golden retriever who sadly passed away on the 10th of july 2023. he was my childhood dog and will always hold a special place in my heart ❤️

i should probably get back to content 😅

top gun

i’m most likely going to do hannix (phoenix x hangman) stories because i’m literally obsessed with them have been ever since i watched TGM

i’ll probably do some fun ones that include the whole team (eg: fanboy, rooster, payback and even some maverick)

marvel

ok listen, i am literally a romanogers (steve x natasha) fan through and through and i will never stop writing about them

i also might try something new like bucky x yelena because apparently people on tiktok ship them?? which i really don’t mind!

anyways for any requests/prompts i’ll figure out how to make one of those question boxes here so that you guys and request for stories!

and i am on ao3 as well so i’ll link that down sooner or later!

oh! and there’s one last thing you should know about me - im a die hard swiftie and have been since 1989 so don’t be surprised if you see titles based off of her lyrics 🩵😆

xoxo, nikki 🩵

[midnightdevotion]

Shattered

Part 4 of the Safe Series

Rooster x reader

Not ready to end it here though so there will be more parts of their relationship evolving and them in future based settings :)

Warnings: This story features domestic violence, please do not read if that triggers you, mention of injuries, Swearing? mentions of not eating/sleeping (PLEASE EAT AND DRINK YOUR WATER) Hangman being a soft good friend to rooster. there's fluff in this one too.

a/n: ummm this came out of me like word vomit, fingers typing so fast it was insane. if there's mistakes which there probably will be just let me know. SORRY FOR THE ANGST

It's been 8 days. 192 hours. 11,520 minutes. The doctors have stopped giving you the medication that induces the coma, you still haven't woken up. The brain swelling went down after the fourth day, you went off the medication officially on the 7th day.

Rooster hasn't left your side, he uses the shower in your hospital room and eats shitty hospital food or whatever the dagger team brings him. Mav has told him not to come to work, to take all the time he needs but he doesn't know how to tell Mav all he needs is you.

He hardly sleeps. He almost hears your joking voice calling the bags under his eyes designer. Every time he shuts his eyes, he sees you, laying on the ground lifeless. He see's the way your eyes lose their sparkle and they flutter shut. He see's the blood that pools around you, oh god so much blood. He hears someone walk in, but he doesn't bother to lift his head.

"Bradley, I brought you some food" it's Phoenix. He swallows hard, knowing they are worried about him but god his stomach feels like a rock. How is he supposed to eat when you're not okay. How is he supposed to sleep, shower, breathe, like you aren't in here fighting for your life.

When he doesn't make a move to grab the food, staying hunched over your hospital bed, gripping your hand like a lifeline. To be fair, in his mind if he lets go he might drown. In the silence, in the nothingness that he feels, in the chaos of his mind.

"Roos you gotta eat, you know she'd want you to eat" He knows that, of course he knows that. In the few weeks you were basically living with him, you'd get up and make him breakfast. Teasing him that a granola bar and protein shake was not breakfast.

Maverick tried to get him to go home to sleep the first few nights, but he couldn't. Not when he'd walk in and be reminded of you humming melodies while cooking, or crying at the sad part of a show you were making him watch with you. Not when he'd walk in and smell that candle you loved to burn, or hear your laughter echoing in his head as he thinks of the night he made you dance with him to the end credit song of some cheesy movie.

He snaps out of it when he feels Phoenix shake his shoulder, the emotions of it all still thick in his throat. He finally glances up at her, and he sees the worry in her eyes. He doesn't want his team to be worried about him, but he can't go on like things are normal. Like his heart isn't shattered around him.

"when's the last time you slept" and it's a good question really, he's not even 100% sure. He can feel his eyes are dry and most likely bloodshot, but he can't find it in him to care.

"I uh- yesterday I think" they both know he's lying, it's been closer to three days ago that he last slept. Thankfully Phoenix doesn't say anything about his obvious lie.

She just puts his food in front of him, on a little tray the sweet nurse brought in. He knows Phoenix well enough to know she won't be leaving until he finishes the food. It doesn't bother him, he does feel bad that they clearly need to babysit him, but he's so grateful to have people in his life like this.

He can't help but wonder how his mom went through this, all alone, with no hope that her husband would be okay. That thought startles him a little bit, because yeah clearly you two were headed down a path of love, but he thinks he might be farther down the path than he thought. He looks over at Phoenix, dropping your hand to pick up his sandwich.

"Phoenix I can't lose her"

"You won't" Her tone is confident, and leaves no room for what ifs.

"I-I think I'm in love with her" If it were any other time Phoenix would respond with a resounding 'no shit' but he's fragile enough right now so she's gentle.

"I know you do- and you will get to tell her rooster" she adds the last part because she knows, she knows that he's so worried he's gonna lose her before she was ever even his to lose. She's relieved when she sees him finally take a damn bite.

His chewing is slow, methodical almost. He hasn't had it in him to ask if the piece of shit that did this to you is getting what he deserves. He's talked to the cops, not that he remembers his conversation with them.

"Is he... he can't touch her again" his voice is so rough and gravelly, mostly from not using his voice much over the last week.

"No Bradley, never again. He's going away for attempted murder, assault of Serviceman, stalking, Harassment and several counts of domestic violence. He won't ever see the light of day again." Her response should make him feel relieved, but if he's 100% honest with himself, he wishes the man was dead.

He wishes it for multiple reasons, so you wouldn't have to live in any fear, if he's dead he can never touch you again. He wishes it because it's not fair, you're here struggling to live, not waking up and he's alive. It almost scares Bradley, he's never been an overly violent man, but here he is wishing he could've killed someone.

He finishes the sandwich before Phoenix speaks again.

"I spoke with the doctors, they were saying she should be waking up soon.."

"I hope so" His voice is just a whisper. He's never felt so desperate, not when his papers got pulled, not when he was in the back of that plane with maverick seconds away from death, but here he is, desperate to the point his leg doesn't stop shaking, his hands tremble and he can't sleep.

All he wants is for you to open your eyes, to see the beautiful sparkle shine back at him. To see your smile and hear your laugh echo not only in his memories but out loud where it's tangible.

He wants to walk into the living room and see you passed out on the couch, or your tired eyes and sleepy smile when you insist on waking up with him. He wants it all, he wants all of you. It scares the shit out of him.

Natasha sticks around for another hour, before making her way out. He knows it'll be a few hours before Jake shows up. Every evening like clock work at 7:00 pm the cocky blonde walks through that door. With dinner, sometimes home cooked, sometimes take out, but every night without fail.

He presses the back of your hand to his forehead. His daily ritual of talking to you, hoping eventually you will wake up and respond.

"Please darling... you gotta wake up soon. I-I can't stand seeing you like this, lifeless, when you and I both know you're the most lively person. Hell sweetheart you always make me feel alive, more than anything i've ever done."

"You gotta be okay, you-you're a fighter and you're so so strong baby girl. I need you to be strong for me." he talks to you like you're a god he's praying too. In his eyes, you are godly. The way you got through this and didn't lose your softness, the way you still shine like the goddamn sun. His sun.

"I-I love you sunshine... you can't leave me before I get to tell you that" His eyes feeling too heavy to keep going, drift shut. Finally getting at least some semblance of sleep after three days.

He's startled awake by none other than Jake 'Hangman' Seresin. That man is anything but subtle. Tonight he brought the broken aviator some pizza, figuring it's a hell of a comfort food. Jake would never admit it, but he's spent time researching the best comfort foods, and has been making his way down the list.

Tonight, He places two little blue pills down next to his food. When Rooster looks at them and then up at Jake, he sees how worried even hangman is for him. The thought kind of grosses him out, he never thought he'd see the day the smug pilot was well, anything but smug.

"Sleeping pills, you're taking them" and there's no room for argument, not that rooster wants to argue. He's desperate for sleep, his headache that's lasted two days is getting a bit unbearable at this point.

So he nods, and he takes the pills and then continues eating. The most he's eaten all week, which makes it sound like a lot but 3 pieces of pizza and a breadstick is pretty small considering the normal portions he eats.

Hangman stays, eating the rest of the pizza, until Rooster falls asleep. Hoping the pills give his friend some semblance of peace. He researched what sleeping pills to get too, and these ones are supposed to have the least dream activity. He can't help but leave with some parting words to you.

"c'mon already, he's gonna waste away" and he walks out of the room, knowing Maverick will be back in the morning with breakfast.

You could hear everything. The entire week, hearing roosters cries, hearing him beg and plead and talk to you. None of it was easy, but hearing him say he loved you, when you couldn't even respond. Torture. At the beginning of the week, you weren't sure what was happening, too weak to fully comprehend. Then you heard the word 'induced coma' and it started to make more sense.

You'd heard stories of people in coma's being able to hear the people around them but you never knew it was true and it would happen to you. All you wanted to do was wake up and kiss the man who wasn't left your side for more than 10 minutes at a time usually when people forced him to get up and shower, or go for a quick walk. You were so so thankful that they were taking care of him like this. You were also going to give him a stern talking to. He wasn't taking care of himself and that just would not fly.

Slowly though, you were more and more aware, the fogginess going away ever so slowly. Until it finally happened. Your finger twitches, and you wiggled your toes.

It felt like an eternity before your eyelids fluttered open. It was about two in the morning, and you had no interest of calling in a doctor to check on you, not yet. They could do it in the morning. You still felt sore and tender just about everywhere, but when you looked at the curly haired pilot on your lap you didn't care.

You let him sleep, softly playing with his hair. God you missed him so much. Content you just let him sleep on your lap, despite the uncomfortable way his back looked. You knew if you woke him, he would refuse to go back to sleep.

It was around 6 in the morning when Maverick walked through the hospital door. You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you when you saw the surprise on his face. Wincing as your bruised ribs jostled with the laugh.

"Well you're certainly not who I was expecting to be the awake one" his voice is teasing but you can see the smile in his eyes.

"god it took way too long to wake up" he raised his eyebrow at this, because how could you possible know. You explained to him that you heard everything, and all you wanted was to wake back up.

"He's been a shell of a person without you" your eyes tear up a bit, because you know, and it's all your fault.

"i-i know... I'm so sorry" and you're shocked by what maverick says next.

"don't be, that's the abuse talking. I'm just telling you that he needs you, and it's a good thing. Bradley deserves to have someone that fills him up with love and joy and everything else, just please don't willingly leave him empty" The tears are streaming down your face, and you admire maverick so much, he clearly loves Bradley like a son and only wants the best for him.

Rooster starts to stir, and you thank maverick for everything he's done, for Bradley and for you. He just grins, and waves you off, but you know it means a lot to him based on the watery look of his eyes.

"make sure he eats, and we will all be back later to see you" he squeezes your free hand before leaving you two to talk.

It takes a few more minutes for rooster to fully wake up, he groans and rubs his eyes, glad his headache is gone but not ready to face another day with out you.

"morning handsome" and his heart freezes, stalls out, can he breathe? You see the look on his face, as he slowly turns to you, eyes meeting yours and you give him a gentle smile.

"Oh my god" it's a small mutter, barely heard over your heart monitor. you squeeze his hand lightly, and he springs into action.

"oh my god oh my god. Nurse! Doctor! she's awake!" you can't help the laugh that leaves you, he's so frantically sticking his head out the door. A nurse rushes in, and when she gathers that it's just you have woken up she grins.

"you know this man here hasn't left your side, definitely a keeper" she whispers to you when she does a quick check of your injuries, mostly to appease the pilot. Said pilot is watching, standing by the door arms folded and eyebrows raised so high you'd think you're in trouble.

You were correct.

"What the actual hell were you thinking!! Goin outside like that ALONE when you know he was after you!!" it makes your heart feel light and airy.

"Oh uh-uh Lieutenant you didn't sleep for like three days, let alone you hardly ate or took care of yourself at all!" You watch him freeze, a sheepish smile taking over his face.

"who told you that" It's a mumble, like he's embarrassed he got caught.

"nobody, I could hear everything roos" Realization dawns on his face and it changes to panic after about ten.

"e-everything?" you can't help the smile that graces your face.

"You can tell me now" it's cheeky and you know it but the way his cheeks turn red and he swallows hard has you so so happy.

"well I wanted to do it in a more romantic setting, but I love you sunshine" and yeah okay you heard him in your coma, but seeing his eyes soft and cheeks pink with the tiniest of smiles makes your heart stop.

"I love you too roos" he moves delicately closer, still so aware of your injuries and you're pretty sure he's gonna treat you like you're made of porcelain now.

He brings a kiss down onto your lips, but he's gone as quick as he was there. He laughs at the shock on your face and shakes his head.

"sorry honey but you're injured so no getting frisky with me" You roll your eyes, a smile on your face. You know recovery is going to be a long journey, mentally and physically, but with Bradley holding your hand, you can do anything.

Taglist:

@captainmarvelnerd

@averyhotchner

@lunamoonbby

@m3laniehearts

@frenchtoastix

@gspenc

@n3ssm0nique

@isieoop

@rintheemolion

@tooflef

@justanothermagicalsara

@halo-mystic

@ladym-17

@some-lovely-day

@can-this-be-a-fanfic

@wintersoldiersthings

@beaner-life-23

@alanadetigy 

@luckyladycreator2 

@multiplefandomsmess 

@tkmarvel-divergentbish

@ohh-to-be-a-frog

@roosterschanelslut

@americaarse

@malindacath

[katiesharms]

i'm praying you don't see the signs (praying for you to me mine) - ch. 4

read on ao3!

a/n: it's phoenix's turn! probably my favorite one. lmk your thoughts!

After Phoenix notices it, that night when she can’t sleep before the Mission, the past signs of it become obvious to her. Maybe Bob’s right, maybe she’s a bit stupid. Just on land, though, and just about this. About Jake. Overall, she tries not to beat herself up about it too much. It’s not like anyone other than Coyote and Bob saw it, so she feels like she can cut herself some slack for being just a tad clueless. Or that’s what she thinks, until she calls her sisters.

She has a monthly FaceTime session with her two younger sisters, which she’s never missed, through deployments and trainings, it’s always taken priority. Though she loves her job, sometimes Nat misses her sisters so much it hurts. They’re close, only six years between her and Elena, the youngest, and growing up, it was the three of them against the world. It’s where she gets her protective streak from, watching over her two younger sisters her whole life. 

Phoenix kicks Hangman out of his own room for the call, not quite ready for him to meet her family yet and knowing Halo has their room...otherwise occupied. He only protests briefly, but dutifully leaves with a kiss on her cheek in departure.

When the call connects, Natasha can actually feel tears in her eyes at the emotion. Another reason to send Jake off; he doesn’t need to see her crying. 

After the chaotic, overlapping greeting with perhaps more squeals than necessary, Julia asks her, “wait, Nat, where are you?”

Looking around her, she tries to find anything that would distinguish this room from hers. Nothing on the walls would give her away, and all the bunks on base are identical. Their short stint at Miramar hasn’t given any of them the opportunity to decorate. “How’d you even tell I was somewhere new? Every room is identical; it’s literally the whole point.”

“Yeah, but your room has the lovely soft lighting from the faerie lights we got you. This one looks like an interrogation room,” Julia offers as explanation. Damn, her sister is observant.

“I'm, uh, in Jake’s room.” Natasha fights to keep the blush off her face as Julia squeaks, throwing a hand over her mouth to keep from making too much noise.

“Wait, who’s Jake?” Elena asks, confused.

“Hangman, mija. Remember that pilot from Nat’s birthday?” Julia clarifies, and then Elena screams loud enough that Natasha has to pull her AirPod away from her ear.

“Ohmigod, Tash, are you guys fucking?” she asks all in one breath.

“No!” she protests, and then amends, “well, yes, but not just that. We’re together.” She smiles as she says it, the newness of it all still making her feel elated.

“I fucking knew it!” Julia cuts in, speaking a bit more quietly than her sister. “El, you owe me 50 bucks.”

Natasha’s jaw drops. “You were betting on me? How did you even know this would happen?”

Her sisters somehow manage to exchange a look through the screen. She hates when they’re like this, in on something together that she doesn’t know.

“Remember your birthday last year? We met him while you were still getting ready and we were waiting in the visitors center.” Natasha does remember. When she arrived, her stomach dropped seeing that Hangman was talking to her family. She’d asked them what he said, but they all just giggled and didn’t tell her.

“Yes, but you guys only spoke to him for what, ten minutes?”

“Yeah, but that was plenty of time,” Elena says. “He was trying so hard to impress us, it was cute. He kept calling mom ma’am and he asked me about med school and Julia about her job at the Earthquakes. Like he was trying to prove he remembered stuff about us.” Phoenix can’t even remember telling Jake about any of that.

“Oh, and remember when he tried to speak to mom in Spanish?” Julia adds. “It was adorable; he kept using usted like the little white boy he is.”

“That’s why mom invited him to come with us to lunch. She totally thought he was your boyfriend. Jules and I came up with the bet in the backseat. I thought it would take at least another couple of years, based on how much you used to complain about him.”

Nat remembers that day extremely clearly. When she’d walked in and seen Hangman talking to her family, she was worried at first, about what kind of ammunition he was gathering. But when she reached them, she found instead that Jake was acting the perfect gentleman, asking her mom about the drive down and her sisters about their careers. When her mom invited him to come with, she almost insisted he accept, but he declined before she could. 

“Was it that obvious?” she asks a little meekly, thinking of Coyote and Bob. 

“Oh, no,” Julia reassure at the same time Elena says, “of course it was.”

“Elena!” Julia protests and Nat just laughs.

“It’s okay; I’ve accepted that I was a bit oblivious. Not anymore, though.”

Her sisters, recognizing what must be a very sappy look on her face, because the two of them go soft.

“Aw, Nat, we’re so happy for you,” Elena says. “And if he tries some dumb shit, we will destroy him, military laws be damned.”

“I think military laws are just the law, mija,” Phoenix says, but laughs anyway.

Later, when Jake is back and she's finally off the call with her sisters, she brings it up.

"My sisters had a bet on us."

"Oh?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, apparently, you made quite the impression last year."

A blush rises to Jake's cheeks. "Was it a good impression?"

"My mom liked you, apparently. Enough to invite you to dinner." He relaxes at that, clearly relieved. "Next time, though, don't try to speak Spanish to her. Honestly, kind of embarrassing."

"I was trying to be respectful!" He protests.

"Babe, we don't even speak Spanish at home. I barely know it." She laughs at his sheepish impression. Her dad never spoke the language, so it didn't make sense to learn it fully .She speaks enough to get by when visiting family in Mexico, but mostly, she's monolingual.

"Okay, next time no Spanish. Got it." He looks determined, like he's making a mental note of it.

"Are you making a list?"

"Maybe," he answers meekly, and Nat bites the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing. It's cute, she thinks. That he's trying so hard.

"Don't worry," she pats his cheek affectionately, "they all love you already."

[argentsunshine]

trucy wright is, or should grow to be, taller than phoenix: a scientific analysis

to be clear, even if I couldn't provide evidence, id believe this should be true. but here we go.

first off, to state the obvious, zak gramarye is an absolute unit. wiki says he's "likely less than 7 feet tall," which is very vauge, but that's based this exchange:

Meekins: Sir... In my days as a police officer -- literally days -- I learned a thing or two. OK, just one thing. But it was how not to mistake a girl for a 7-foot-tall magician!

Phoenix: (Seven feet? Zak isn't that tall, is he?)

obviously meekins is an idiot and shouldn't be taken at his word, but phoenix's uncertainty here suggests he's probably not far off. so, let's assume zak is, let's say, 6'9", because haha funnee number. this would place him in the 99. 997th percentile for height. even if the 7' estimate is a whole half a foot off, he'd still be in the 99th percentile heightwise.

then there's trucy's mom to consider. the wiki doesn't list a height for her, but here's where we can do a little more maths.

[ID: a screenshot from the video of the concert during Turnabout Serenade. Lamiroir is standing in the centre, with Klavier Gavin off to the side holding a guitar.]

Even from this picture we can see she's not massively shorter than Klavier, who's 5'11".

Now, take everything I'm about to say with a little wiggle room, as obviously this isn't a perfect analysis. Lamiroir and Klavier are approximately in line with one another, so I'm not doing any math to account for camera distance + perspective. However, we do have to account for Klavier's shitty posture. So, I superimposed an image of him standing upright .

[ID: The same image as above, but a picture of Klavier standing up straight has been superimposed over the Klavier in the video.]

Then, we can measure their heights.

[ID: The previous image, but the opacity has been reduced, and there are lines marking the top of both characters' heads and the bottom of their feet.]

In the image, Klavier is around 549px tall while Lamiroir is around 531px. Multiplying this through by Klavier's height, Lamiroir is around 5'9".

[ID: The previous image, but numbers have been added above the bottom line. On Lamoiror's side, they read "531px" "68.7"/5'9"". On Klavier's side, they read "549px" "5'11"/71"".]

This height places Lamiroir in the 96th percentile heightwise. I'll admit there's some room for error, but the shortest I'll accept she could be is around 5'7", which is still in the 87th percentile.

So, safe to say, based on her parent's heights, Trucy should be (or should grow to be) pretty tall. Phoenix is 5'9", or the same height as Trucy's mom. Now I couldn't find actual stats on this, but in my experience as a person knower and a parent haver, people tend to be taller than their mom unless their dad is pretty short. If Trucy was in the same height percentile as her dad (assuming she's AFAB) she would be over 6', and she's probably at least taller than her mom, and therefore taller than Phoenix.

As for Apollo:

[ID: a discord conversation between users limegold and burstofblue158. the convo reads:

limegold: how tall are your parents. im doing short people research

blue: uhhhh i think mum is about 5 foot 2/3 and dad is 5'5

limegold: ah so your dad being a manlet allowed you to unlock Transgender Manlet Supreme

blue: yup]

[brandybradyrandyandyndy]

Mark Forster's role in the Ace Attorney franchise

Okay, first off:

I'm not a fan of Mark Forster's music, please don't take this post the wrong way

There might be some aa trilogy spoilers

Also, I admit this title is pretty bold for what I'm going to say on this topic, but I watch The Voice of Germany with my sister every week and one of the coaches is Mark Forster who I only know like five songs of in total, but his song "Au Revoir" (which is actually a terrible song btw. It's so catchy, I've had it stuck in my head since I woke up this morning and it ruined my day.) kind of reminded me of the whole "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death." thing, because the only thing I knew about this song was the refrain:

which would be roughly translated to:

"There is nothing that's holding me back, au revoir / Forget who I was / Forget my name / It will never be the way it was before / I'm off / Au revoir"

But as I looked further into the lyrics I found out there is a "rap part" which tells you about the places the lyrical I will go to when they're away and it contains a passage that adds a beautiful twist to my theory/headcanon (I'm not sure what to call this yet).

"I'm sitting on the Mayan throne in the jungle / [...] / The phoenix is taking off now"

You see where I'm going with this? I know, it's not Phoenix who's leaving and I know the lyrics refer to the Maya Civilization from Mesoamerica, but I thought it was a funny coincidence, that not only does the word "Phoenix" appear in the lyrics of this song, but so does "Maya".

So when I first saw this part of "Au Revoir", I started imagining how Miles Edgeworth would listen to this song and like dramatically sing along to it and start crying or something, but this only posed another question:

How could this scenario happen? How and why would he even come in contact with this song?

My first guess was, Miles probably went to Germany after he left his note, because he grew up there (I think), when he had been adopted by Manfred von Karma as a child, and he heard the song somewhere in the radio because in Germany they blast Mark Forster's music in almost every public space, so there is no escape from it ever. I tried to find out, during which timespan Miles left America, just to make sure if there was a chance that he actually could have heard it on the radio.

In the Ace Attorney wiki this timespan isn't clearly mentioned, but since the last case (Rise from the Ashes) from the first game is set in February 2017 and Edgeworth returns to America in March 2018 I'm guessing, this is exactly the time window in which he's in Germany* (minus some days/weeks of course, because I don't think he'd just leave on the exact same day he had his last trial in America). *to make this easier for me I'm just assuming he spends the entirety of his travels in Germany

But this brings me to my problem, the German Charts of 2017/2018.

As you can see, the only songs by Mark Forster that were in the charts while Miles would be in Germany are the ones above. This means that it is highly unlikely that he knew of "Au Revoir" from the radio, because why would they play this old song if they could also play Mark Forster's more recent songs that are popular right now?

But when exactly was "Au Revoir" popular enough to be in the German Charts?

During my research I looked up these years, too, and it came down to 2014 (the year "Au Revoir" was released) and even a year later in 2015. So there is no way he could have known of this song if his most recent stay in Germany was in 2017, right? (I mean, unless the German people he met then, had literally no taste and forced him to listen to it.)

But I have a pretty simple and logical explanation on how he could have still known of this song, even though he probably wouldn't have heard it in Germany in 2017.

I tried really hard, but I couldn't for my life find real data on Mark Forster's demographic, so just believe me if I tell you that his demographic is mostly preteen and teenage girls. Also, it's worth mentioning that Mark Forster's music is pretty much only known in German speaking countries like Germany, Switzerland and Austria. Now, let's take a closer look at the years, in which Au Revoir was most popular: 2014 and 2015

Who could Miles Edgeworth possibly know, who in 2014/2015 is 1. German, 2. a teenager and 3. a girl? The answer is quite obvious:

His younger sister Franziska von Karma.

Considering that she was either 14 or 15 when "Au Revoir" was released, she fits Mark Forster's demographic perfectly and although I'm not 100% sure if she was in Germany then, I still believe, she must have had at least some connection to Germany in some way, maybe a German friend who she still was in contact with or maybe she had access to German tv, maybe German YouTube channels or social media. And don't get me wrong, I love Franziska von Karma and I wouldn't wish anything bad on her, but at the same time I strongly believe that she'd be the kind of girl who'd have gone through a Mark Forster phase as a teen.

Now remember that I, myself, have a sister. I know what siblings do to annoy each other and I just know from the bottom of my heart that if Franziska really was a fan of Mark Forster's music, she would blast it on any opportunity she'd get. Or she would at least talk about him and his songs with her brother. Believe me. If Franziska really listened to Mark Forster, Miles would have known of him, too. There is literally no other way. (For reference, I know every 1D member's name, birthday and relationship status, although I literally do not care about any of them at all, only because my sister is obsessed with them and talks about them 24/7. Meanwhile the only MCR member I know, is Gerard Way, even though I listen to their music on the daily.)

So here is my conclusion.

Miles Edgeworth definitely listened to "Au Revoir" by Mark Forster on the plane from Japanifornia to Germany and he also definitely cried, after he made sure nobody could see him (especially during the part "Der Phönix macht jetz 'n Abflug"/"The phoenix is taking off now"). Also, he probably listened to the song multiple times during his stay in Germany and you literally can't prove me wrong on this. I mean you could try, but I invested way too much of my time in this to actually care about another person's opinion on my shitty headcanon.

Also, the moment Franziska met Phoenix and Maya, her memories vaulted her right back to her Mark Forster phase and her hatred against Phoenix wasn't solely based on the fact that he was accountable for the conviction of her father Manfred von Karma, her hatred was also ignited by the fact that she probably had "Au Revoir" stuck in her head because of these two for the rest of the day and I just know that this must have completely ruined it for her.

Also, unrelated to anything I've said prior:

Klavier Gavin would definitely collaborate with Mark Forster on at least one song and however severe Franziska's Mark Forster phase might have been, I am convinced Klavier would have outdone her by far. I haven't played AJAA yet, but as much as I've gathered from the fandom, he's like a weeaboo but with Germany, I think? I'm absolutely sure, he wouldn't ever miss a chance like this.

Finally, here is the song this whole post is about:

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

What your opinion on the Agni Kai was better then aang’s fight with ozai

I want to first say that “better” is a completely subjective statement. Both the final Agni Kai and Aang’s battle with Ozai have huge importance thematically, but are also demonstrative of different aspects of A:tLA, so comparing them in an attempt to determine the “better” battle is really an injustice to the show imo. That said, the final Agni Kai is certainly the more popular of the two big battles, and honestly I can break down its popularity into three main points. People tend to favor the final Agni Kai because:

They see the final Agni Kai as the reason Z.utara should have been canon (no, this is not the same as seeing the battle as crucial to Z.utara’s development; I mean they full-on think that the final Agni Kai matters largely if not entirely because of the brief ‘Z.utara’ moment.)

They recognize the significance of the Agni Kai being framed as a tragedy (specifically regarding Azula).

Their lack of understanding regarding Aang’s arc (or, to be kinder, their personal disinterest in Aang) prevents them from fully appreciating his battle with Ozai.

There are a few other reasons the final Agni Kai tends to be favored (e.g. it’s a much faster-paced battle action-wise; Aang’s battle with Ozai is over twice as long and because of how the show was structured is broken up into several sections and thus feels even longer), but I think those are the main three. So let’s take them one at a time!

First, I have to start with the obvious:

People favor the final Agni Kai because they interpret it as their holy grail of why Z.utara should have been canon.

Firstly, I am not getting into the K@taang vs Z.utara ship wars. I don’t have the time or the energy lmao. But there is a huge difference between shipping Z.utara based on the content provided in the show (because y’all know I love me some Zut@raang) compared to somehow thinking that Zuko and Katara were both ready to be and should have gotten together at the end of the series. In short, Z.utara would not have worked in canon based on where the series stood by the finale, and that’s okay! That fact does not negate the appeal of Z.utara nor does it mean Z.utara shippers should not be allowed to interpret the final Agni Kai as involving Z.utara content (they absolutely can and should! we love to see that!). But the final Agni Kai was not some secret sign that Z.utara was meant to be canon, and people who interpret it as such are sorely missing the point of the battle.

Here are a few metas discussing the final Agni Kai in regards to Z.utara’s importance within canon A:tLA, if you’d like to read some analysis going more in-depth than I intend to. My thoughts regarding Z.utara and the final Agni Kai are pretty simple:

Zuko catching/attempting to redirect the lightning aimed at Katara was not because he was in love with her. For him to sacrifice himself because he was “in love with her” would entirely undermine his redemption arc, which is learning to earn forgiveness and accept unconditional love from his family (both Iroh and the Gaang), not because of romantic interest. (Again, this does not mean someone shouldn’t ship Z.utara; if that’s what you’re taking away from this post, then you might as well stop reading, because I assure you that’s not even close to the point here.)

Katara is set up as Azula’s primary foil (e.g. by and large her relationship in canon with Zuko is aimed as a surrogate sibling); her saving Zuko parallels Azula’s attempts on his life (though her most important moment as Azula’s foil is arguably bringing Aang back to life after Azula kills him, but that’s a subject for another time lol), and Zuko catching the lightning for Katara demonstrates him saving the sister he can save versus Azula, the sister he cannot save (hence her breakdown at the end of the battle while Katara walks away largely unharmed; Zuko’s decision is also a direct parallel to him siding with Azula in “Crossroads of Destiny”, having first chosen the sister who harms him over Katara, the sister who ultimately heals him).

The significance of Zuko catching/attempting to redirect the lightning aimed at Katara is not because it was Katara he was saving; the viewer sees Zuko’s decision and recognizes that he would have done so for anyone. Anyone in the Gaang, plus Mai and Iroh, and possibly even Ty Lee (hell, he’d probably have taken the bolt for Appa and Momo). Zuko’s redemption arc is sealed by his selflessness, his willingness to sacrifice himself for the sake of someone else. While the moment is especially powerful because of Katara’s position as a foil to Azula, it is not the Z.utara holy grail I’ve seen it portrayed to be.

To be honest, the interpretation of the Agni Kai as some big Z.utara moment is both superficial and a massive disservice to Azula and the completion of her arc, which is the focal point of most if not all of the battle, and also entirely undermines the power of Zuko’s redemption (as I discussed). So moving on to the next point!

People favor the final Agni Kai because they recognize its importance to Azula and how the key element of the battle’s emotional weight is its framing as a tragic, heartbreaking moment.

I rewatched both the final Agni Kai and Aang’s battle with Ozai before I wrote this, and I had to try so hard to not cry at the end when Azula breaks down, sobbing openly for the first time in the entire series. It is a powerful, devastating moment, and it is so heartbreaking because of how fitting it is for her. Does she deserve redemption? Absolutely. But in the context of the series and how A:tLA played out, rock bottom is where Azula needs to be, and the audience recognizing that fact is what makes the scene so painful to watch (and also why you can’t take your eyes off the screen). For me, the power of the Agni Kai never came from Zuko’s sacrifice (although I understand why that part resonates with some people more); instead, it was always about Azula’s downfall, her descent, the straw the broke the camel’s back - whatever you want to call it. I’ll try to keep the essence of my feelings towards Azula and the Agni Kai and why this battle is preferred short:

Azula is a much more established antagonist than Ozai. We know from the beginning the Fire Lord is the big bad, but his presence in the show is relegated largely to flashbacks and to the second half of the final season. Azula is introduced in Book Two (technically she appears twice, I believe, in Book One, but she has no lines so I’m not counting those moments lol) and becomes the key antagonist throughout the final two books. The viewers admire her intelligence and strategic capabilities, appreciate her wit and ability to turn a person’s words around on them, and even feel sympathy and pity for her when her difficult relationship with her mother is revealed (in “The Beach”) and when Ozai’s conditional love is demonstrated to apply to her, too (“Sozin’s Comet Part 1: The Phoenix King”). Thus, the final Agni Kai has multitudes more emotional potency in terms of the antagonist, as Azula is more pitiable and developed than Ozai, so it’s understandable that feeling a greater connection to Azula might result in someone preferring the final Agni Kai over Aang’s battle with Ozai. (That said, I will be discussing more about the significance of Ozai as a character later.)

The tone of the Agni Kai is that of tragedy (verus the more action/intense battle of Aang vs Ozai). While the debate of drama vs action is largely related to personal preference, I think it’s worth noting that no other battle in A:tLA (that I can think of) has the slow, drawn-out, orchestral music that is present in the final Agni Kai. The viewers realize this battle may be about power on the surface, but in reality it is a painful, devastating moment about a family irreparably torn apart (at least in terms of the series run). For me, that has always been the captivating factor of the Agni Kai. The viewers mourn for Azula, who has lost herself. Yes, she did so partially in her quest for power, but more importantly in her search for love, as she did not have a support system in her life like her brother (Zuko always had Iroh), and the audience grieves for her. Her mother both feared her and was disgusted by her; her father loved no one (including her) and only valued her for what she could provide to him; she hurt her brother and her best friends to the point where they were forced to turn away from her; and her uncle, as far as what is shown, never extended a hand to her. Azula is a victim of abuse (though this does not excuse any of her actions; in fact, her role in A:tLA as a victim who was abandoned and lashes out before breaking down on the inside is just as important as Zuko’s role as a victim who was given support and was able to heal). Thus, to me, the power of the final Agni Kai is all from the tragic tone (hence why Azula’s heartbreaking end brings me close to tears every time).

Bonus: The way Katara takes out Azula is incredibly clever and badass. (I don’t think I need to expand this one. We all love narrative foils!)

For some people, they prefer the final Agni Kai because of the emotional weight of the conclusion of Azula’s arc; that weight combined with the conclusion of Zuko’s redemption, in my opinion, are pretty valid reasons to deem the final Agni Kai their favorite battle of the series. That said, there is one other important factor to consider in the question of the final Agni Kai vs Aang’s battle with Ozai:

People prefer the final Agni Kai because they blatantly misunderstand and/or misinterpret Aang’s arc of reconciling his being both the Avatar and the last airbender, thus preventing them from fully understanding and appreciating the weight of his battle with Ozai.

This point is more complex than the two I discussed previously, so I’m going to break this one down further to help simplify it. Let’s start with the most obvious thing:

“The lion turtle and energybending were cop-outs!”

I cringe whenever I see this; imagine admitting to the entire fandom how blind you were to the extensive foreshadowing about the lion turtle and energybending. Downright embarrassing. There are so many metas out there explaining how the lion turtle and energybending were not cop-outs and how A:tLA did foreshadow their influence (some people need to admit they just didn’t watch the show tbh). I’ll try to provide a quick summary:

Chiblocking demonstrated how chi/energy and bending were intrinsically linked from Day. One. Moreover, it did so numerous times; trying to claim that blatant foreshadowing is not there is… well, kind of embarrassing.

The lion turtle was foreshadowed in “The Library” (and moreover the lion turtle only appeared after Aang called out to the Spirit World; his meditation was an appropriate attempt to seek help from those wiser than him to resolve his dilemma, and thus his plea was answered).

If you’re gonna argue the lion turtle/energybending were convenient cop-outs, you better also critique how Suki conveniently was at the Boiling Rock/the ferry, Pakku conveniently had been arranged to marry Katara’s grandmother, Toph conveniently inventing metalbending, every other time a spirit showed up conveniently, etc. etc. etc. Don’t cherry-pick, hypocrites.

The lion turtle/energybending were not necessarily predictable, no, but they also were not meant to be. You’re not supposed to guess every detail of every finale of every show. So yes, the lion turtle/energybending were foreshadowed, and this foreshadowing done so in a way where after they were revealed it was intended to be an “oh my god, how did I not see that connection before?!” moment. (At least, so it was for me.)

Dismissing the lion turtle and energybending as a cop-out is an age-old, boring misinterpretation of Aang’s battle with Ozai, and by and large I think most of the fandom is tired of hearing it. Thus, if people don’t understand the lion turtle/energybending and their roles in the A:tLA finale, then they’re less likely to appreciate Aang’s battle with Ozai and therefore would prefer the final Agni Kai. Next common argument:

“Aang was able to re-enter the Avatar state because of a rock? Really? Another cop-out!”

Again, if you’re gonna criticize the rock, at least criticize every other plot device used in A:tLA. I mean come on. Some people will really just cherry-pick instances solely with Aang. How very convenient for them, huh?

But the fact of the matter is that the pointy rock is actually pretty important! No, it didn’t necessarily have to be a rock that allowed Aang to enter the Avatar state again, but it was necessary that the Avatar state was unblocked for him by a physical trigger. The Avatar state was removed from Aang by Azula’s lightning striking him (after he’d done the spiritual work to control it, too!), which is a physical block, thus requiring something to physically unblock it. By the end of Book Two, Aang is able to enter the Avatar state of his own accord (he successfully unlocked his chakras, after all) and had Azula not struck him in the back and killed him, he presumably would have been able to do so throughout Book Three. Did that physical item have to be a rock? Again, not necessarily, lmao, but where he and Ozai were fighting, well, there certainly were a lot of rocks, so it’s not like it didn’t make sense. (There’s a meta here that touches a bit on the necessity of the Aang needing the Avatar state physically unblocked, too.)

“Ozai was a stereotypical, boring villain! He was barely given any screen time!”

This isn’t entirely untrue. Everything viewers are told about Ozai is from other characters in the narrative; mostly Zuko, but also Azula and I’d argue Iroh, too. Ozai certainly was the big bad of the series, and little is provided regarding his personality beyond being power-hungry, racist, xenophobic, and abusive. But… that’s kind of the point. Ozai is written to have zero redeemable qualities. There is supposed to be zero sympathy for him. Hell, there’s arguably even zero reason for him to live on (which actually makes Aang’s decision to spare his life all the more powerful, but that’s for later). There’s one line in particular that really defines Ozai’s character to me:

“You’re [Aang is] weak, just like the rest of your people [the Air Nomads]! They did not deserve to exist in this world… in my [Ozai’s] world!”

Ozai is the epitome of fascism, imperialism, and a superiority complex if there ever was one in a cartoon. His words remind the audience that maybe he didn’t initiate the Air Nomad Genocide, but he continues to seek the same goal - obliteration of anyone he deems inferior (which is, well, every nation except his own). Aang’s battle with Ozai is literally a fight against fascism, and that’s a hell of a powerful metaphor. So while I understand leaning towards the Agni Kai in terms of familiarity with the antagonist (aka Azula), I do think some people gloss over Ozai too quickly. Yes, everyone knows that Ozai is a genocidal dictator, but I don’t think the implication of that position - especially what it means to Aang - really sinks in for everyone.

And now for the big one:

“Aang should have killed Ozai!”

If you are reading this and for some godforsaken reason think Aang should have killed Ozai, I beg of you: read these metas and analyses about Aang and his arc explaining exactly why that’s the wrong take. This point has been argued a million times over and the fact of the matter is that Aang choosing to spare Ozai’s life and thus uphold his beliefs as an Air Nomad is the ultimate triumph (a direct parallel to the Air Nomads being forced to fight back against the firebenders during Sozin’s attack and were thus not able to uphold their beliefs - the ultimate sacrifice). Furthermore, Aang choosing to spare Ozai’s life but take his bending is arguably a fate worse than death for Ozai. Ozai now lacks all of his power/prestige, will be forced to watch the son he despises rebuild his country, and any lingering supporters he may have can’t argue “oh well the Avatar had no reason to kill him!” because Aang didn’t kill him. He chose mercy. He proved himself better and stronger than Ozai could ever hope to be.

Furthermore, Aang staying true to his beliefs as an airbender is central to his character. The core belief of the Air Nomads was that all life was sacred (such was why they were all vegetarians). If he had killed Ozai, if he had been forced to betray his spiritual beliefs, then he would have completed the genocide of the Air Nomads that Sozin started a hundred years ago. Ozai’s death at Aang’s hands = the death of the airbenders’ culture. Full stop. How could he be expected to bring balance to the four nations if only three remained? Maybe this is just me, but the message of Aang being an airbender (the last airbender) and finding another way (e.g. energybending) to defeat Ozai in order to uphold the beliefs of his people is a much more powerful message than him having to kill Ozai (especially because no one else understood how important Aang’s spirituality was to him [not even the Gaang!]; Aang did what was right, even when the world insisted he was wrong).

(Sidenote: The previous Avatars did not tell Aang to kill Ozai. That’s right - not even Kyoshi. I believe she gave him this advice: “Only justice will bring peace.” Great news! Aang did exactly that. Why are some people still so pressed about it??)

Furthermore, if someone calls Aang’s beliefs and his decision not to kill Ozai childish (we’ve all seen those posts), I’m giving you permission to deck them, because so much of the roots of the Air Nomads’ spirituality is rooted in Buddhism, and like,, we know westerners struggle to comprehend any narrative that isn’t our own, but the dismissal of Aang’s beliefs without making the connection that they’re also dismissing the beliefs of many, many real people? Yeah, please sock those assholes in the jaw. Give them the finger. Glare at them. Whatever works for you. Those are the people with the most superficial opinions on A:tLA, and to be honest, it really shows. Please: make an effort to understand the eastern narratives at work within A:tLA. If you don’t, there are so many things you will miss out on, and you’ll also just look like a prick.

For me, Aang’s battle with Ozai is so powerful (and my favorite) because of the ending and its importance to Aang:

“I’m not gonna end it like this.”

Aang chooses mercy by taking Ozai’s bending instead of killing him.

Aang chooses to uphold the beliefs of his people and guarantee the Air Nomads live on in him.

Aang proves his soul is unbendable.

Aang enters and controls the Avatar of his own accord (not induced by trauma or a spirit).

Aang reconciles his being the Avatar with being the last airbender.

Aang is finally at peace with himself and the world around him.

In short, if a person doesn’t understand Aang and his character, then the significance of his final battle with Ozai will largely be lost, and thus it makes sense that they would gravitate more to the Agni Kai (which is arguably a less nuanced battle, as Azula’s position as a victim of abuse and Zuko’s tale of redemption are not exclusive to either western or eastern narratives, while Aang’s arc is largely more eastern in nature and thus something less familiar to western audiences).

I have no doubt that my personal bias influences my admiration of the final battle with Ozai, as Aang is my favorite character and his narrative is easily the most powerful to me (he is the sole survivor of genocide who still chooses to seek kindness in life instead of revenge), but regardless I’d argue the sheer thematic weight of Aang’s battle with Ozai outweighs that of the Agni Kai any day (although, to be fair, they are presenting different subjects, so take my feelings there with a grain of salt).

The Agni Kai is a tragedy. It is devastating. It makes you cry. Aang’s battle with Ozai is a triumph. It is hope. It makes you take a deep breath and look to tomorrow with a brave smile. And that is why it is the battle that concludes the series.

TL;DR - Both are fantastic battles in their own merit, but Aang’s battle with Ozai is underappreciated because of the fandom’s incomplete grasp on Aang’s arc and character while the final Agni Kai is often appreciated/hyped up for the wrong (*cough* shipping *cough*) reasons.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #7-9

November, 1984

BERSERKER!

The death of an Avenger! The X-Men’s greatest battle! And, introducing the all-new SPIDER-WOMAN!

The cover sure isn’t burying the lede. This comic sure does introduce an All-New (presumably All-Different) Spider-Woman! Jessica Drew, move over! For now. You’ll be the Spider-Woman that endures in the long run.

Last times on Secret Wars: Some amazingly powerful being from Beyond the universe called the Beyonder kidnaps a bunch of heroes, villains, shades thereof, and chunks of random planets to put on a big toy commercial where action figures can bonk off each other.

The X-Men ditched the other heroes to do their own thing, as they’re wont to do. The villains storm the hero base and drop a mountain on them. The heroes take refuge at a small village where Johnny Storm finds a new girlfriend but there’s also a Galactus.

Galactus starts preparing a device to eat Battleworld, which would let him win the toy commercial in one fell swoop.

Oh, and Wasp was kidnapped by Magneto, escaped, crashed her escape ship, found the Lizard, and then got lasered to death by the Wrecking Crew. It was a Bad Time and I am sad, even though we know Wasp will be okay by the time they get back from Battleworld.

This time: Further not burying the lede.

The cover promised a new Spider-Woman and dammit, here’s one right away, first page. Truth in advertising!

Spider-Woman herself wastes no time introducing herself to everyone, that she comes from a chunk of Denver that got raptured by the Beyonder (still want that miniseries), that she came to help when she saw evidence of super fighting, and that she can pick up and throw large rocks so clearly she’d be able to help.

Captain America is hesitant about all this and Spider-Woman assumes that he thinks she’s a spy but as Captain America points out, why would Doom need to mess around with spies when he’s got so much power at his disposal.

Spider-Man is also hesitant at this new character. For different reasons.

Spider-Man: “She tossed that boulder as easily as I could have... at least! I wonder if she sticks to walls, too! And I wonder if I can sue her for infringing on my shticks! I should have gotten a patent or trademark or something...”

Cap tries to settle on the argument that a Secret War is too dangerous but Spider-Woman has the exceptional point “I suspect that it’s no less dangerous for the spectators, Captain America -- I might as well pitch in!”

And then the obvious toy pitch vehicle that the Wrecking Crew was driving in the swamp yesterday drives through the village blowing shit up, restarting the fires that the heroes just put out, and most insultingly of all, throwing Wasp van Dyne’s dead deceased corpse out the hatch before driving off.

Those dicks.

The heroes rush to Wasp and take her to Zsaji. That cool lady tries to heal Wasp but Jan has no pulse and isn’t breathing and might be beyond Cura. This may take Phoenix Down.

But since she went and got herself disintegrated on the Moon, Wasp is clearly dead forever.

-Looks over at Avengers #243- Hush, you!

The assembled heroes want to rush Doombase and kick the shit out of the villains and specifically the Wrecking Crew but Captain America tells them no.

Captain America: “Now, listen to me -- ! While we’re off getting even, what if Galactus starts to use that world-eating machine he’s building up on that mountain? Then every living thing on this world -- including these innocent villagers and all those people from that suburb of Denver will die! We’ve got to stay right here, ready to attack him! We may have only seconds to react when it begins!”

She-Hulk storms off while the other heroes debate the Galactus situation.

I’m sure this is fine.

Meanwhile, on the more volcano-y side of the planet, Xavier orders Cyclops, Rogue, and Wolverine to pursue Doom’s Four villains Molecule Man, Titania, Absorbing Man, and Doctor Octopus to try to capture them before they can return to Doom.

Back over at Doombase, Titania sees that her “little Owie” has been badly hurt and begs Enchantress to help.

Volcana: “Enchantress! You’re a sorceress! You could use your magic to transport me to my Owen!”

Enchantress -busy getting drunk-: “Yes... but why would I, mortal?”

Volcana: “Well... because... because I need you to! I can’t fly a ship! I -- I don’t even have a driver’s license for a car! Ultron won’t help me -- ! He only takes orders from Doom!”

Enchantress: “It takes much energy to transport a body as bloated as yours! I cannot be bothered!”

Wow! You’re a dick!

Volcana catches a lot of fat jokes and she’s not depicted as looking any different from Standard Comic Book Body Type. But also, don’t fatshame at all, Enchantress.

Anyway, Volcana promises anything to Enchantress if she helps.

Enchantress: “Rash words, mortal wench... and later, you shall deeply regret them!”

Its very handy for the villains that Volcana just showed up because their airship almost immediately gets show down by the X-Men. So even with Molecule Man out of commission, their numbers are back to Doom’s Four. And Volcana calls dibs on beating up Wolverine.

The X-Men have numbers but they’re not doing super well. Professor X is on the scene trying to be the field leader but the chaos of the battle and the villains’ minds being blocked by Enchantress’ magic makes it hard for him to coordinate.

Magneto even gets smack-talked by Absorbing Man.

Absorbing Man: “Tell me, Magneto. What’s scum like you doin’ hangin’ around with the X-Men? Sure, they’re outlaws -- but I thought you was big time! You got mass murder raps, manslaughter, terrorism, what else? Probably everything! You’re one of us! On second thought, a creampuff like you belongs with them losers!”

I can’t believe Magneto has to take that from a man who constantly carries a large metal orb with him everywhere.

Wolverine manages to slice off Absorbing Man’s arm, although the guy was made of rock at the time so it wasn’t as gory as it could have been.

Absorbing Man just. Picks up his arm and runs off to hit someone with it.

Amazing.

The villains manage to pin down the heroes with some Volcana blast and then steal one of the X-Men’s ships and get away.

Professor X declares that this is Totally a victory.

Xavier: “We lost nothing, save one of our ships -- which matters little -- and we gained much! We coalesced as a fighting unit passing our greatest test to date and I think we proved ourselves -- beyond a doubt!”

Like, you had a scuffle with some villains that ended inconclusively even though you had the advantage of a sneak attack, the villains stole one of your ships, and there was no major damage to either side.

It was largely pointless. But I guess Xavier has a vested interest in declaring it a huge success since it was his inaugural go at being field commander.

Meanwhile, skulking around Galactus’ ship, DOOM complains about doing that.

Doom: “Doctor Doom - a burglar! Rummaging about in another being’s home, seeking to steal some priceless thing! Bah! What choice do I have? I need a key, a way -- ! My armor’s sensors have led me to prize after prize -- hundreds, thousands of devices which, in the hands of a man as brilliant as myself could provide power to conquer entire galaxies -- ! Yet, all of them combined are not enough to defeat Galactus -- let alone the Beyonder! There must be a way! Doom must be supreme!”

Unfortunately for Doom, despite the volcano distraction making Galactus sigh and have to spend time fixing the planet so he can eat it, he senses something amiss in his house and mentally yeets Doom back to Battleworld.

The villains return back to Doombase but Doctor Octopus can’t help Molecule Man because dammit he’s a nuclear physicist, not a medical doctor! Ultron tells Volcana that there are medical devices that could fix Molecule Man up nicely but since he doesn’t have any relevant orders from Doom, he’s just going to stand here and look pretty. And Enchantress says she could heal him with a wave of her hand but refuses to because Volcana already gave her a blank check.

Absorbing Man returns and reattaches his arm by basically hoping like hell it’ll just be better if he holds it in place when he reverts to skin flesh.

And the Wrecking Crew have to throw the Lizard into a cell because he hasn’t stopped trying to eat their faces for killing Wasp, his new best friend.

The Wrecking Crew doesn’t get a chance to enjoy being back at base because She-Hulk has broken in and beats the crap out of them off-screen.

Titania comes in and starts fighting She-Hulk STARTING AN ENDURING RIVALRY.

Its fun how much got its start in Secret Wars.

The two fight more or less evenly from what I can tell but uh Doctor Octopus joins in as does the Absorbing Man and the Wrecking Crew once they catch their breath.

And She-Hulk is strong but this is a stomp.

In another part of Doombase where the Enchantress is sitting in “sullen reverie” refusing to get involved in the fight she can here, instead thinking about how much she’s going to seduce the crap out of Thor.

Doom arrives at Himbase after being expelled from Galactus’ ship and refuses to explain anything to Enchantress. He just stumbles over to his sweet bed and collapses in it.

Doom: “It is over... Finished...”

Back over at Zsaji’s Village, the heroes realize that She-Hulk took off. Hawkeye figures that she went after the villains and asks to go after her.

Hawkeye: “She can’t take ‘em alone, Cap! She needs us!”

Huh! When the chips are down even though they fought, Clint and Jen sure are coworkers.

Hulk also asks to go after her since she’s his cousin. The acknowledgement of which is what I’ve been wanting all along.

But Cap tells them no.

Hulk: “I don’t suppose you’d consider putting it to a vote?”

Trying to appeal to his love of democracy. How wily.

Captain America: “My heart would vote ‘yes’ in a minute... Too many innocent lives are at stake here, though! Many more than the few people on this planet -- we’ve got a universe depending on what we do here! We can’t allow ourselves the luxury of making decisions with our hearts!”

But Cap receives a psychic skype from Professor X who tells him that the X-Men can take Galactus watching duty for a bit so run along and save your teammate, you scamp.

Cap accepts.

Its fun how the tide of battle has shifted back and forth.

Now the heroes are largely fresh, having been sitting on their ass staring at Galactus, and the villains are bloodied from several fights with the X-Men and She-Hulk. Plus, their big gun Molecule Man got Wolverine’d.

But next issue is something so big that it overshadows basically everything else in Secret Wars.

December, 1984

INVASION!

YEAH ITS VENOM

OR WILL BE

Also, a bunch of other stuff happens. The cover is kind of funny for maybe unintentionally presaging what would happen where the black costume being more remembered than everything else in Secret Wars in general but definitely this issue specifically.

There’s actually a lot of really cool stuff happening in this issue.

Cap(tain America)’s group of heroes storms Doom’s Doombase, lucking out that Doom is too stunned by being expelled from Galactus’ ship to attempt any kind of defense and nobody else on his team has the braincells to be watching out for an attack.

Enchantress hears the heroes breaking in but she’s well and truly drunk by this point.

And bemoans her secret god meeting with Thor. That she was going to try to cast a spell on him to bend him to her will but is aware that she might have flipped good for him instead. And even now wonders what she’ll do if Thor shows up in front of her.

The villains still beating She-Hulk to her death hear the heroes breaking into the base and run off to ambush them, Doc Ock slamming She-Hulk against some wreckage as a coup de grace.

Wrecker gets the jump on Iron Man and Doc Ock dumps a convenient tank of water on Human Torch but Spider-Man jumps in and drops Bulldozer with one punch before he can pulp an extinguished Johnny.

The Thing tries fighting Absorbing Man but wouldn’t you know it, the Thing’s thingness fades at the worst time again, leaving him powerless.

Spider-Woman jumps in to save him.

She didn’t get to really do much in her actual introductory issue, despite being on the cover and splash. She just kinda shows up and goes ‘i can definitely help!’

She makes a much better second impression this time. Almost like she’s aware that she needs to sell herself.

Spider-Woman: “A clean knockout -- ! Of the awesome Absorbing Man -- ! And it’s only the fifth time I’ve ever been in a fight! The new Spider-Woman wins again!”

Marvel really wants you to like this non-Jessica Drew.

Piledriver charges Hawkeye, mocking him for missing with his arrows and gloating that arrows are useless to a guy who’s immune to bullets.

Piledriver: “Hawkeye the Archer! Hah! Boy you gonna need Hawkeye the M.A.S.H. doctor in a minute -- ‘cause I reckon this good ol’ boy is gonna ‘mash’ you!”

Good one, Piledriver. Good banter.

Hawkeye: “Those shots were just warnings, dummy! I don’t want to have to hit you! From my bow, at this range, an arrow hits a lot harder than any bullet! Back off... please...”

We did learn in the Hawkeye mini that Hawkeye’s bow has a ridiculous draw strength.

This is a pretty good Hawkeye moment people don’t really point to a lot.

Also, I do love when an invincible or durable person who isn’t used to getting hurt gets hurt once and goes ‘NOPE! I DO NOT CARE FOR THIS!’

Hulk busts into Enchantress’ drinking room and unfortunately falls for her “I am but a helpless female!” routine. She gets all up in his business, magically puts him to sleep, and then pours herself another drink.

It could have been a good day for Enchantress if Captain America hadn’t come in right after.

Captain America: “What have you done to the Hulk?”

Enchantress: “For the moment, he is merely asleep. Doubtless dreaming dreams of me! But, alas, he can never truly have me, for I am yours, my handsome captain! Am I not beautiful? Come to me...”

Points for audacity but Captain America is a champion of not thinking with his dick. Blah blah willpower is legendary, socked Prometheus in the noggin. You get it.

Anyway, he socks Enchantress in the noggin with his shield and knocks her out.

Hawkeye and unthinged Ben try to find the rest of the heroes but run into Klaw and Lizard, who Klaw let out of his cell because he didn’t like to see anyone imprisoned but also because he liked the way Lizard talks. What an audiophile.

Ben Grimm: “Uh... any ideas, Hawk?”

Hawkeye: “Well... I guess we’ll have to outwit ‘em!”

Ben Grimm: “Us?!”

Hah.

Thor, Iron Man, Spider-Woman, and Mr Fantastic find Volcana and Molecule Man.

Iron Man makes the dubious tactical decision to charge right into Volcana’s plasma burst and burns out his armor.

Mr Fantastic pulls him out of the way and the other heroes try to get through Molecule Man’s fused air molecules invisible shield. They fail until Captain Marvel just lightbeams right through it. Because its transparent.

Love it. Love that her power works like that. Because it should.

Captain Marvel grabbing Molecule Man pulls open his Wolverine wounds and he passes out. Volcana surrenders to spare her boyfriend more pain.

Not that Monica intended that or knew he was wounded. This is still early Monica before Nextwave hardened her outlook. This is the Monica who was horrified when Blackout and Moonstone got pulled through a singularity.

Titania tried to drop a forty-ton beam on the heroes’ heads but is interrupted by Spider-Man thanks to his spectacular spider-sense.

She out-muscles him by a lot but she can’t actually lay a hit on him because he’s got superior spider agility. Maybe if she had more experience it’d be different but she’s basically in the angry flailing stage of her skill tree so far.

Spidey brags “With a little room to operate, no one can lay a glove on me -- not the X-Men, not the Absorbing Man, and not you!”

Titania: “When I get you I’ll -- AGGH!”

Spider-Man: “All you’re going to get is frustrated... and, eventually, trashed!”

Titania: “No! It’s not fair! *UHH!*”

Spider-Man: “But, if we were fighting in a broom closet, that’d be fair, right?”

Titania: “Stop it! Stop it! Stop -- !”

Spider-Man: “You ought to be happy, cuddles! You aspired to be a bully, and, man, you’re a classic! You talk tough and nasty when you’ve got the upper hand -- but when you’re losing -- well, that’s when the whining little wimp-ette inside comes spilling out!”

And then he defenestrates her without a window.

Fun fact: she apparently developed a Spider-Man phobia from this.

Understandably.

Y’know, in terms of embarrassing and traumatizing people, Spider-Man is having a good run in this story.

Captain American and Human Torch find a passed out Piledriver who fainted from blood loss after staggering away. And they find Ultron, standing between them and Doom.

Ultron is an Avengers-tier stomper who takes down entire teams and there’s just two heroes who coincidentally were both portrayed by Chris Evans. And the Human Torch’s fire is ineffective as Ultron gloats.

Ultron: “The core of the hottest star could not melt my adamantium body, human! Nothing can harm me! I am invincible! I am mechanically precise and computer-swift! I am perfect!”

When Ultron grapples Human Torch and starts throttling him, Cap tells him to use his nova-flame. Then hides behind his shield.

The flame melts a good portion of the room and the air being superheated somehow doesn’t make Cap crispy. And when the nova flare of the nova flame fades, Ultron’s chassis is still intact.

But the heat damaged something inside and Ultron is down. Johnny is also down, spent from the nova.

I like that the Fantastic Four would have their own way to deal with Ultron should that ever come up. Has it? You’d think it would.

Captain America proceeds to Doom alone but Doom is non-responsive from being Galactus’d.

And Reed, Spider-Man, and Hulk finds Hawkeye and Ben Grimm, where they have outwitted Klaw and Lizard.

Lizard: “Disssturb our gamess-s and the Lizard will dessstroy you! Once we finissh, we will do as you s-ssay!”

Well, whatever works!

With the fighting done, Captain Marvel finds She-Hulk, barely alive. The heroes jam her into a healing tube saving her in the nick of time.

The heroes also jam the villains into healing tubes because they’re heroes and are nice like that.

Considering the heroes were fighting to take prisoners and the villains very much weren’t, it’s lucky that the heroes won the majority of conflicts and got away from the one they didn’t.

The villains that didn’t need bacta treatments - or whatever is in those tubes - got shoved into cells. Also, Doom, because he might need the healing juice but it would require peeling him out of his armor and its probably booby-trapped.

Hawkeye and Captain Marvel return to the village to bring Wasp’s body to DoomHerobase for a funeral but they’re in for a surprise.

It turns out that Zsaji WAS able to heal Wasp who wasn’t dead just in a laser-induced death-like stasis. AS YA DO. It nearly killed Zsaji to bring Wasp back from such grievous injuries.

Colossus learns this by getting into her exposition drugs while she’s passed out and mind-melding with her.

Of course, it just makes the big lug fall deeper in love with her.

The important takeaway is that Wasp is alive. Just like we knew that she would be. The universe has been set right.

Over at Herobase, Reed Richards fixes the Iron Man armor after Rhodey got it a little melted.

Iron Man, James Rhodes: “I’m curious... were you surprised there was a black man under the metal?”

Reed Richards: “Hmm... No, I never gave it a thought! I knew there was a man under there...”

Its a nice exchange.

Its kinda ruined retroactively by Illuminati revealing that Reed knew Tony was Iron Man and would have known about Tony having to step down due to his alcoholism and likely knew about Rhodey taking over.

Dammit, Illuminati!

Elsewhere in the base, Spider-Man spots Hulk and Thor coming out of a room with Thor sporting a brand new cape and helmet. They tell Spidey that there’s a device in there that will make any clothes you want.

Except Spider-Man doesn’t bother asking which device and they don’t bother specifying so Spidey just picks the likeliest one and gets a black glob.

An important black glob.

To eventually be revealed to be an alien goo symbiote and later eventually tied to a dark god that predates the universe.

But for right now, its a way to incorporate a new costume design that a fan submitted. And Spider-Man handwaves it not looking like his old costume by assuming he was thinking of the new Spider-Woman.

So that’s how it is, Pete? She ‘ripped’ you off so you’re gonna rip her off?

You know whats really funny?

A month before this came out, in Spider-Man’s own book, he had learned that the costume was a living symbiote and had gotten rid of it.

It be like that with Secret Wars but its still funny that we’re finally seeing him get the costume just as he’s getting rid of it.

Anyway, Spider-Man’s new costume buzz is interrupted by the planet shaking and someone yelling in his brain.

Professor X: “CAPTAIN AMERICA! COME AT ONCE! IT HAS BEGUN! GALACTUS IS DEVOURING THE PLANET!”

It’s nice that the crises are waiting their turn.

January, 1985

ASSAULT ON GALACTUS!

The issue titles for this story are all so excited.

The X-Men were left on Galactus watching duty so when the big lug starts trying to eat the planet, the X-Men charge in to attack him.

Hm.

Y’know, I sometimes wonder what iconic storylines would have been like if a different set of characters handled it. This used to be great What If fodder. I know there was one where the Avengers tackled Galactus’ first appearance. And because it was the tone of What If at the time to viciously shoot down any divergence of the 616 timeline, THINGS WENT HORRIBLY WRONG.

Think of it like the Turn Left episode of Doctor Who.

POINT BEING, I wonder how the X-Men would have handled Galactus’ first appearance. Of course, this would be the O5 roster so they’d have their work cut out for them.

Heck, even with Storm on the team, the X-Men are over their heads with Galactus.

She hits him with two massive lightning bolts and Galactus keeps working like he didn’t even notice.

The X-Men seem to realize how out of their depth they are (especially sans Phoenixes, their usual Galactus-fighting go-to) but at Professor Xavier’s command they charge in anyway.

Galactus sends out a defensive drone so he can continue not paying the X-Men any mind and the mutants find themselves completely bogged down in fighting the drone while Galactus does his thing.

And from Zsaji’s sweet village, Captain Marvel, Wasp, and Hawkeye see a massive explosion where the X-Men were.

I guess they’re totally dead forever.

Wasp: “Should we head up there now?”

Hawkeye: “No! We’d better wait for Cap... and strike as a unit!”

Hah.

Its the expression, really. Like Hawkeye thinking to himself ‘oh I want no part of that.’

The non-X-Men assemble at Herobase to rush to the fight.

Mr. Fantastic: “Hurry! No telling how long the X-Men can hold out!”

Spider-Man: “Yeah! Where’s the rest of the alphabet when you need it?”

HAH!

Oh, Spider-Man, you are a delight.

In the airship over, Thor notices that Hulk looks glum and tries to cheer him up.

Thor: “If ‘tis that you do not fit in these chairs that depresses you, count yourself fortunate! They were made, I think, for insect men... or by trolls, for torture! If ‘tis the impending battle troubling thee -- just think! What greater chance for glory has man or god e’er known? More even than Ragnarok, this is the battle I was born millennia ago to fight! You, too, are a warrior born, Hulk! A taste of battle and the berserker battle-lust shall rise in thy soul!”

Hulk: “I doubt it! I lost that when I gained the intelligence of my human side -- Bruce Banner! And now I’m slowly losing that, too! I’m not savage enough... or smart enough to be a relevant factor!”

Well, You Tried, Thor.

Johnny Torch is trying to cheer up Ben Grimm who is as grim as his name over his powers popping in and out as they please.

And then the rocks pop back on just as Ben is dramatically bemoaning that he can’t control them.

The Thing: “Whoopie! I’m the Thing again! I’m so happy, I even like you!”

Human Torch: “Yeow! You lummox! Put me down! Jeez, I can see the headlines -- ‘affectionate hug slays Human Torch en route to battle -- universe destroyed as a result’!’“

This book has some decent lines.

Iron Man ogles Spider-Woman under the pretense of not trusting her but then goes a little ‘I’ll show them all!’

Iron Man: “A lot of guys have worked with Iron Man before -- but that was when Tony Stark was in this suit! I think they’ve started to realize there’s a different guy in here, now... an’ they got their doubts! They’re keepin’ their distance -- don’t quite trust me yet! Don’t matter! As long as I got this armor, I’m one ba-ad dude -- especially since Richards souped it up! As soon as that fight starts, I’ll show ‘em -- show ‘em I’m Iron Man! The real Iron Man! James Rhodes is Iron Man -- now and forever!”

Rhodey pls.

Also meanwhile, because this is a long flight, Spider-Man starts hopping all around the interior of the airship overexcited because he’s just discovered that the totally benign goo suit he got has webshooters!

And he squirts Johnny in the face to prove it because that’s just how Spider-Man is sometimes.

Johnny complains that this webbing is even harder to burn than his old stuff which will turn itself into a bit of a plot hole down the line when its revealed that symbiotes are weak to fire.

Whoops.

Its fine though. Pre-modern Venom has always had sloppy writing around it.

He also demonstrates the goo suit’s ability to change shape.

I can’t believe that Marvel were cowards and never had Peter go around in the Summer Variant suit.

Reed lets himself go down a melancholic musing rabbit hole and starts poking holes in the story logic.

Mr. Fantastic: “At face value, the whole thing is absurd! Why would a being so far removed from us and so powerful as the Beyonder bring us across the universe for a stupid, simplistic ‘good-versus-evil’ gladiatorial contest? Is he a mad god? A cosmic idiot? And why us? Why this odd collection of beings, mostly from Earth? And why Galactus? He doesn’t fit! Human beings and even gods may be tempted, but Galactus is a force of nature -- no more capable of having enemies than a hurricane or an earthquake! Why is he here? There must be more to this... but what possible purpose could there be?”

Credit where its due, these are things I’ve been wondering!

But Reed is so busy pondering this that he runs the airship into the energy discharge from Galactus’ machine and crashes the ship on top of Colossus.

Smooth move, absent minded professor.

With only seconds before the world starts to burn, the Avengers, Fantastic Four, and assorted leap into battle against Galactus.

Iron Man manages to get past Galactus’ defense drones and punch his world eating engine, thanks to the upgrades done to the armor.

But now that they’re being successful, Reed interjects and tells them to stop winning so hard. Yes, really.

Mr. Fantastic: “Ben, we can’t go through with this! At last I see a purpose here -- a meaning to the universe for this insane conflict! WE MUST NOT STOP GALACTUS!’

Then Galactus effortlessly blasts the heroes away.

Which, if nothing else, gives Reed a chance to catch his breath to EXPOSIT MORE.

Mr. Fantastic: “For the first time this whole thing makes seom sense to me! I see a possible purpose in it! This is a chance to rid our universe of the threat of Galactus! All we have to do is let him win this contest! If the Beyonder indeed, grants hsi wish, he’ll be freed of his planet-consuming hunger at long last!”

The Thing: “And if the Beyonder reneges?”

Mr. Fantastic: “Re-energized by consuming this world, Galactuc will attack -- I know it! And force the Beyonder to pay up -- or be destroyed in the attempt. Any way you look at it... the universe wins! Countless billions who would have eventually fallen prey to Galactus -- will live in peace!”

Spider-Man: “Yeah, but why us? Why were we picked to decide the fate of the universe?”

Mr. Fantastic: “Why not us? We picked ourselves, remember? Besides... we beings of Earth seem to have a knack for being pivotal in the cosmic scheme of things.”

Reed, some offense but you’re the last person who should be speaking on this.

Galactus is only alive now because you had a hunch that he had some Big Important Role in the cosmic order and saved his life.

You may remember that because THE ENTIRETY OF SPACE PUT YOU ON TRIAL FOR IT.

Turning around on that because now you have a different hunch that everything will be a-okay if the Beyonder kills Galactus, is just such a classic Reed move.

Anyway, the discussion ends because Galactus raptures Reed and the entire mountaintop his machine was sitting on.

Since the suspects of Reed rapturing were Galactus or the Beyonder, its not very surprising that its Galactus forcibly inviting Reed up to his solar-system sized apartment.

What, you thought that the Beyonder would be more present in this story that it initiated? Fool.

Anyway, Galactus wants to have a friendly talk at Reed. Because Galactus is one of the few people that can talk down at Reed and he just has to sit tight and listen.

Meanwhile, over at the former Doombase, locked in a Doomcell, its Doom. Still in his catatonia OR IS IT?

Doom: “THE WORLD SHIP IS THE WAY! Galactus’s home itself is the way I seek! At last, I see!”

He activates the get-out-of-jail-free button hidden in his ankle which activates a point-singularity power supply that busts the door off his cell.

He ignores all of the other imprisoned villains to free Klaw.

Doom: “You, yourself, Klaw, are a ‘recording’ of sorts, due to the time you spent as a wave of vibratory energy coursing through the walls of Galactus’s homeworld! Come with me!”

Klaw: “Where to? Toodle-oo, toodle-oo!”

Doom: “To the lab! I’m going to dissect you!”

Klaw: “Oh, good!”

If it were anyone else that would read as sarcastic.

Its also revealed that Doom talks to himself because he is constantly recording.

Doom: “Every utterance of Doom must be recorded for posterity!”

How on-brand.

Meanwhile, back over at where the fight was, Cyclops OPTIC BLASTS out of the hole Magneto buried the X-Men in to save them from Galactus’ exploding drone.

Good job, Magneto.

Buuut. The fight is over so the X-Men just vaguely wander over to Zsaji’s village to catch up with Captain America’s group.

Zsaji wakes up from her Wasp-healing coma and runs over... right past Colossus to embrace Johnny. To make Colossus sad in the background.

But Johnny is too worried about Reed being raptured to make out with his new space girlfriend right now.

The heroes debate what to do.

Cap(tain America) wants to just stand ready until Galactus comes back and Cap(tain Marvel) suggests finding some spaceships at former Doombase and mounting an assault on Galactus’ imagination-ruiningly huge homeship.

The Thing offers the daring option of ‘hey Reed said not to fight Galactus and dangit what Reed says goes!’

He’s as bad as the Inhumans, I swear.

Reed reappears right about when Iron Man and the Thing are about to come to blows over the ‘do whatever Reed says’ plan.

The Thing: “Stretch! What happened?”

Mr. Fantastic: “Not much! We had tea...”

NOW I KNOW that Galactus likely has some robot servant or device that makes tea for him. But I can’t get the image out of my head of Galactus holding a tiny teapot and serving Reed tea.

How dare this comic cut away and let that happen off-panel!

Anyway, their big OFF-PANEL talk?

Mr. Fantastic: “He told me that I was a ‘force of the universe’ just as he is -- ! That I’m a ‘universal champion of life’ just as he is an instrument of death!”

Now. Nooooow. Champion slash Avatar of Life is a legitimate thing in Marvel, once filled by, uh, Captain Marvel. The Kree guy version. So the position is open.

I just find it easier to believe that Galactus was saying random nonsense to try to befuddle Reed into doing what Galactus wants rather than it being official.

The Avatar of Life page on marvel wiki doesn’t seem to credit it. It only has two versions of Adam Warlock, Drax, and Cancerverse Mar-Vell.

Anyway.

Mr. Fantastic: “I don’t what to say! I’m more convinced than ever that it’s right to let Galactus do what he must! And if I’m a ‘Champion of Life’ does it not make sense to allow Galactus to slay us so that countless billions will live? Or was he telling me that I must fight to serve even these relatively few lives here? I just don’t know...”

Yeeeeah. More convinced than ever that Galactus was filling Reed’s brain with cognitive chaff so to speak.

But Ben “Thing” Grimm is like ‘hey if Reed tells me I gotta die for the good of the universe then I’m ready to die so we’re not fighting unless Reed says so.’

Hawkeye: “This is a real crock! We’ve got to fight! Quitters! Cowards!”

I rarely say this but I think Hawkeye has a point.

Anyway, Galactus reappears the mountaintop, his machine, and himself to get back to snacking on the planet.

Far be it from me to tell Galactus how to ‘mortals are beneath my notice’ but maybe he’d get better results relocating his machine to the other side of the planet. Get some element of surprise, a head start.

No? Fine.

Captain America: “All right, listen up! I’m going to fight! The rest of you come or not as your conscience dictates!”

Wasp: “We’re with you, Cap!”

Captain America: “Good! But first... I just want to tell you, Professor Xavier, that despite our differences, you and your people did us -- and the universe, as far as I’m concerned -- a great service, earlier!”

Professor Xavier: “It was an honor!”

Captain America: “I hope you, the X-Men... and Magneto will come and fight side by side with us now! No one here will deny you’ve earned that much!”

Think about all the grief that could have been saved if people were willing to give Magneto the benefit of the doubt at the beginning of the story! Womp womp!

Meanwhile at Doombase (because the heroes are all off doing stuff and when the heroes are away Doom gets his base back), Doom observes the battle against Galactus starting AND that the Beyonder has cracked open his portal to watch the fight.

But more importantly, Doom cut Klaw into slices.

Back over at the heroes fighting Galactus, the heroes are fighting Galactus.

As in, directly. No drones.

Its a sign that they’re making some sort of progress.

He’s still batting them around like leaves in the wind.

But the Terrific Three show up to actually help.

Mr. Fantastic: “Galactus used enormous amounts of energy transporting his homeworld here -- and I’m sure he hasn’t fed for months! His power is almost depleted! We can take him!”

Captain America: “Richards, I -- I’m glad you’re here -- but what made you change your mind?”

Mr. Fantastic: “I... thought about what Galactus said -- and I’m still not certain that, in the cosmic scheme of things, what we’re doing is right -- but I realized just how badly I want to see my baby born, Cap! I want that more than anything -- ! And I’m going to fight for it!”

Aww.

He’s going to be waiting a long time for that baby though.

Not because of comic book time but because of intense drama reasons.

The heroes manage to reach the top of the mountain and start trashing Galactus’ machine despite Reed insisting that they ignore it and prevent Galactus from escaping.

And Galactus just animation-cell-slides-up ‘I must return to my homeworld’ style.

And as Reed explains how badly they done fucked up, Galactus takes a last look around his homeworld/spaceship. Because he doesn’t need his machine to eat planets. It just makes the process more efficient. So if the heroes are going to be annoying about him eating Battleworld, he’s just going to eat his own dang home!

Mr. Fantastic: “He’s devouring his own living world -- perhaps the greatest energy source in the universe! Moments after he’s finished, this godforsaken planet will be next! We won’t be able to stop him this time! Then he’ll probably consume the sun too! He’ll want every iota of energy available in case he must do battle with the Beyonder! We’re dead men!”

Wow. Is that the most kirby krackle we’ve ever seen?

But as Galactus converts his home into POWER COSMIC, Doom is ready with his own plan to steal that power, aided by a series of lenses he’s turned Klaw into.

As ya do?

You’ll have to tune in to the last quarter of Secret Wars to see if Doom succeeds in doing that thing that he always tries to do.

My thought is: maybe.

Follow @essential-avengers​ for the good job I’m doing with these Secret Warses. Like and reblog maybe.

[starry-sky-stuff]

Sorting the Grisha Trilogy

For this sorting I’ll be using the superb sorting system created by @sortinghatchats. A brief breakdown, there are Primaries, the why, and Secondaries, the how. For a more in depth explanation check out @sortinghatchats or @wisteria-lodge. Here’s a link to a great and succinct explanation. 

Disclaimer: Spoiler warnings apply both for the Grisha Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology and the Nikolai Duology. 

This turned into a very long post so I cut for length.

Alina Starkov has a very loud Lion Secondary that she increasingly grows into as the series progresses. Alina has literally no chill ever, about anything. She’s always ready to throw down. In Siege & Storm, she’s quite ready to tear the Crown Prince a new one for his suggestion that they lower the draft age. All the while Nikolai watches in exasperation because they very much need to keep the generals and royals on side. But Alina can never be anything other than what she is. he is genuinely disturbed by Nikolai’s ability to switch personas because it is so antithetical to her entire personality. Alina is the same kind of Lion Secondary that Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games is — someone who inspires an army and is ultimately used as a symbol and martyr by others for their own gains.

For her Primary I would also say Lion. Alina has very firm beliefs and they all come from within. She’s also got that lone wolf outlook that Lion Primary’s often struggle with. Repeatedly, she pushes people away and is intent on doing things alone. There’s also elements of the unhealthy Glory Hound Lion Primary, in that, as much as Alina is motivated by doing good, she’s also motivated by gaining power. Greed and power are such integral parts of her storyline. A Snake would claim they were gaining power to protect their loved ones, a Badger just people in general or maybe Ravka as a whole. But Alina gains power so she can defeat the Darkling and save the world. When she kills Mal, as much as it is to save the world, a part of it is also to gain power, for which she pays a price by losing said power. The very core issue in her relationship with Mal is the conflict between a Loyalist and an Idealist. For Mal, his main priority is Alina. For Alina, her priority is defeating the Darkling. 

Loyal and dutiful Mal Oretsev is an incredibly obvious Snake Primary. His entire motivation is centred on Alina. Everything he does is for her. He volunteers to hunt the stag for her, he deserts the army for her, he stays in the capital to protect her even though he hates it. “You’re my flag, you’re my nation” is a very Snake flavoured declaration of love. Mal is not in this fight because he wants to save Ravka or defeat the Darkling. He was completely okay with him and Alina escaping to Novyi Zem at the end of the first book and leaving Ravka to its fate. He commits to the fight when Alina does, and her cause becomes his cause. 

For his secondary, charming, likeable, Mal is a Badger. One of the first things we learn about Mal is that he can fit in anywhere and has no trouble making friends. Although he has a bit of a Lion Secondary Performance, at his core his a team player. He enjoyed the army because it was a community, and he’s at his lowest in the second book because he has no friends and no community. Part of why he’s much healthier in the last book is that he has a community again and a position within that community. In the White Chapel he can train and teach, and once they leave he has his own little team again. He falls into the leader role in the last book, not because he inspires loyalty the way Lion Secondary Alina does, but because he caretakes and looks after people. When they’re underground, and he constantly goes back to check on everybody and talk to them to make sure they keep up, that’s a Badger Secondary looking after his community. It’s probably not at all surprising that Mal has what @the-phoenix-heart has dubbed the love interest sorting. His priority is Alina, and he shows his love by following her and joining her quest, and in the end, sacrificing himself for her. Mal wasn’t going to die to save Ravka. He was sacrificing himself to save Alina. 

Nikolai Lantsov, whose entire motivation in the original trilogy is to gain the throne of Ravka to save Ravka, strikes me as more of a Loyalist than an Idealist. Either he’s a Badger whose community is Ravka, or a Snake who just has a very wide circle. Considering there’s no evidence of him dehumanising people, I would lean towards Snake. We later learn that part of why he wants to fix Ravka is a promise he made to a childhood friend who died in his arms, which strikes me as a very Snake motivation. An Idealist would be more motivated by the cause of helping Ravka, and a Badger would focus on Ravkans being in need of good leadership. I think much of his character arc in Nikolai Duology makes sense through the lens of a Snake Primary moving his priorities, as Ravka as a whole becomes less important and Zoya becomes more important. His primary was very difficult for me to accurately gauge because I think he actively hides it behind his secondary performance. Once we’re in his head, his motivations are very focused on the individuals he cares about. I think he and Zoya also bond over this Snake Primary that was let down by their parents and so transferred their loyalty onto Ravka as a whole. 

Initially, I thought he had a Snake Secondary. After all, Alina’s description of him being similar to a Matryoshka doll, always putting on different personas, is quintessential Snake Secondary. But when you actually look at how Nikolai solves problems, it isn’t with his charm or guile. Yes, he saves Alina by pretending to be Sturmhond, but they get into Ravka because he came up with a flying ship. In the last book, he saves the group because he just happened to have a secret military base he’d developed for a rainy day. In the Nikolai Duology, he literally came up with a plan for someone else to masquerade as him just in case he ever went missing. He solves his problems by pulling out some old tool or plan he’d previously developed on the off chance he’d need it. Total Bird Secondary. Now, Nikolai has a very good Snake Secondary model. It was something he developed in children to deal with his emotionally neglectful parents, by becoming whatever he had to be to get attention. But at his core, he’s an inventor, it’s what he enjoys doing, it’s what he does for fun, and it’s how he solves his problems. 

The Darkling, who views ozatskaya and even other Grisha as beneath him is a Dark Badger Primary. To the Darkling, only the Grisha are human, and even then he still thinks of him and Alina as above other Grisha. When parts of the Second Army turn on him he dehumanises them in turn. There’s an argument for an unhealthy Lion Primary, who believes wholeheartedly that all the terrible things he does are justified and he’s the only one who can save Ravka. But building the Second Army and Little Palace as a place the Grisha could belong seems to me like a Badger Primary looking to build his community. It’s also explains why he can kill all these people and feel no guilt whatsoever because to him they’re not really people. In the Rule of Wolves he even explicitly says that he whilst he values human life in general he does not value human lives specifically. 

The building of the Second Army is proof of his Badger Secondary. A skilled manipulator, he nevertheless uses genuine emotion and pieces of himself in the manipulation that I don’t think a Snake Secondary would find necessary. If you believe he did develop genuine feelings for Alina, then that would probably be a Badger Secondary who fell for his own performance. A Snake Secondary would probably have pretended to want a relationship with Alina without developing any feelings. His primary and secondary work together to explain why he was so affected by the Grisha turning against him. That’s his community, the community he built up from the ground, and when they turn on him he punishes them for their perceived disloyalty. 

Zoya Nazyalensky is a Snake Primary whose circle includes the Second Army and eventually the whole of Ravka. There’s an argument that she’s a Badger Primary who might’ve been a little burned, and she does treat ozatskaya as lesser than Grisha, but I don’t see the evidence of dehumanisation. Her reason for turning against the Darkling is that he killed her aunt, her only family and to her mind the only person who loved her. A Badger Primary might’ve been more motivated by him massacring Novokribirsk as opposed to a particular loss. Also, her feelings of failure are specific to her feeling that she failed her people — failing to stop the Darkling from killing her aunt, failing to protect the Second Army, failing to stop Nina from being captured. Throughout the original trilogy she’s burned. She’s lost her only person and so latches on to what is hers — the Second Army, Ravka, the Little Palace. She protects these things because they’re hers not because of any ideal. In the Nikolai Duology she unburns and opens herself up to admitting more people to her circle (or admitting that they’re actually in her circle and she does care about them). 

Zoya’s secondary was harder for me to pick. She’s definitely an improvisational secondary. We never see her making plans or being worried about being prepared, she just goes into dangerous situations and things work out for her. Snake Secondary in neutral state is possible. For the most part, she’s not particularly chargey for most of the original trilogy and could be a Snake that just doesn’t care. But she treats Nikolai’s Snake Secondary Model with awe and is, I think, too genuinely impressed by it to be a Snake Secondary herself. Lion Secondary makes more sense given that she’s a natural leader who inspires others more than makes herself likeable. The ending of Rule of Wolves also makes me lean towards Lion, since it’s her running headfirst to save Nina without any plan of attack and she doesn’t try to work her away around the situation like a Snake. She just runs straight into danger. 

Genya Safin, who wants nothing more than to belong, is a Badger Primary searching for a community. It’s why she stays loyal to the Darkling even after he destroys Novokribirsk, because he gave her a community and sense of belonging, and she believes these things are reliant on her loyalty and service to him. For her secondary, probably Badger too. Like the Darkling, she falls into the trap of believing her own manipulations and actually becomes friends with Alina. Also, the fact she spent years working on her tailoring skills seems like a Badger to me. 

David Kostyck, the quintessential inventor, has a glaring Bird Secondary. He’s the one who comes up with inventions, like the discs and the portable light, and is more comfortable in his lab than in the field. As for his primary, I think he might also be a Bird. He’s not a loyalist. If he was a Snake Primary then he probably wouldn’t have turned on the Darkling after Novokribirsk because Genya was still with him. He could be a Badger Primary who turned because of the massacre. But I think he’s a Bird Primary. He desires knowledge, not for the sake of power but purely because he wants to understand things. He strikes me as having a very decided morality. Merzost is bad because that’s a core Grisha teaching that he has adopted in his own system. 

Tolya and Tamar are harder to sort because they get less screen time. Tolya’s probably  double Lion, considering his concern with being honourable and his qualms with morally dubious actions. Also, his faith seems to me to be very felt and that is more Lion Primary. Considering his main role is as the muscle, definitely Lion Secondary. Tamar, who is totally okay with the morally dubious actions her brother abhors and, as of the Nikolai Duology, is in charge of spying is probably a Snake Secondary. Her motivations are less clear. Could be that she’s a Snake Primary who based her loyalties first of Alina then on Nikolai. She seems to be more attached to individuals than to any cause or country. 

In summary: 

Alina: Lion Primary/Lion Secondary

Mal: Snake Primary/Badger Secondary, Lion Secondary Performance

Nikolai: Snake Primary/Bird Secondary, Snake Secondary Model

The Darkling: Badger Primary/Badger Secondary, Snake Secondary Model

Zoya: Snake Primary/Lion Secondary

Genya: Badger Primary/Badger Secondary

David: Bird Primary/Bird Secondary

Tolya: Lion Secondary/Lion Secondary

Tamar: Snake Primary/Snake Secondary

[maddiesbookshelves]

Alive and Hexing (Hexes and Hazards #1) by Shay Cabe

Home is supposed to be where a witch is always welcome. Except when you neglect to call your four furry best friends after being gone for five years. So, they decided to pay me back, Hazard style. I wanted to deny that they could be cruel to me. It even took me awhile to admit it - but it's a fact - the Hazard Boys Suck. They're not the only ones. A mysterious romeo is leaving me presents of the dead kind. Now, I need to show all of them that girls aren't just made from sugar, spice and everything nice. Especially me. We're also made of something better… Mean.

Would I recommend it to anyone? I'd love to say yes, but unfortunately that's not the case.

Level of (dis)satisfaction based on the summary and my expectations? I knew what I was getting into when I read the summary and understood nothing, especially the last sentence (so this actually fits into one of my reading prompts nicely). I just wanted for the experience to be bearable and to make me laugh.

My thoughts on it? I want to start by saying that I think this book had potential and that it was probably written and self-published by someone pretty young, much to her credit, but it also explains a lot of things in her writing choices. Some moments made me genuinely laugh and feel a little empathy towards Nora (our MC). However, those good moments were immediately followed by things that made me wince. Lots of clichés, girl hate, plot holes, and a lack of maturity in the characterisation of the adults. And let's not mention the fact that this is a story about a 16-year-old in a reverse harem where the 4 love interests are adopted brothers. Thankfully, nothing happens in this book, otherwise I would have had to set my e-book on fire.

Nora is the kind of MC that a lot of people will consider a strong female character because she can fight and isn't feminine. When will people finally understand that you can be a badass and still think about boys and fashion? Sometimes her thought came out of nowhere and lacked actual thinking (to avoid saying "maturity", since she's 16), but it goes with the boys' behavior.

Let's talk about the boys. They were all interchangeable. Honestly, there are only two that have somewhat of a personality (though "personality" is a strong word) : Hez, the angry one, and Phoenix, the smarter one (or the less stupid one, depending on your point of view). I remember Oz's name because, well... Oz... And it took me a good 10 seconds to remember Barrett's name. Anyways, all the characters lack depth, you can't get a feel for their personalities, which is a shame, really. Just making the story last over a longer period of time to give us the opportunity to see Nora spend some time with the boys, one on one, to understand who they are would have made a huge difference. It also would have helped me see what she sees in them, aside from their bodies, cuz I sure didn't see it here.

I also think there was a problem with representation. One of the boys is supposed to be Native American (at least in part) and the way Nora says she knows that is... weird. See for yourself:

“It’s obvious he has Native American blood in him, but I never asked him how much. Seems rude to ask such a thing. I can totally see it now because it’s more than evident in his lightly tanned skin and lean, but tight build. If I were to reach for a fancy word, I’d use the word, sinewy. Mostly because it’s the first time I’ve ever seen someone who pulls it off. His black hair is shoulder length, with a slight curl to the ends of it. It's thick and soft looking."

And let's not talk about the only gay character, who is the absolute walking, talking cliché of the slutty gay looking at every man's ass and who is BFF with the MC. It's painfully obvious that he's gay just so Nora will have a male (since all the other girls hate her) friend the other 4 lover boys won't feel threatened by in their fragile masculinity and won't be jealous of. It was hard to read.

TL;DR: It felt like reading a fanfic written by a 16-year-old but I hope Shay Cabe will keep writing what she likes because the only way to get better is by practicing. And it takes guts to self-publish a book, so props to her.

French version under the cut

Un chez-soi est censé être là où une sorcière est toujours la bienvenue. Sauf quand vous négligez n'appeler vos quatre meilleurs amis à fourrure après être partie pendant cinq ans. Donc, ils ont décidé de se venger, façon Hazard. Je voulais nier qu'ils pouvaient être cruels envers moi. Ça m'a même pris du temps pour l'admettre - mais c'est un fait - les garçons Hazard craignent. Ce ne sont pas les seuls. Un mystérieux roméo me laisse des présents du type morts. Maintenant, je dois leur montrer à tous que les filles ne sont pas faites avec du sucre, des épices et des tas de bonnes choses. Surtout pas moi. Nous sommes aussi faites de quelque chose de mieux... méchantes.

(je suis désolée, la dernière phrase me pique les yeux à moi aussi mais c'est la traduction exacte, la faute est là en anglais aussi zhefzf)

Est-ce que tu le conseillerais à quelqu’un ? J’aimerais pouvoir dire oui mais malheureusement c’est pas le cas.

Niveau de déception/satisfaction par rapport au résumé et tes attentes ? Je savais dans quoi j’allais m’embarquer quand j’ai lu le résumé sans rien comprendre, surtout cette dernière phrase (du coup ça rentre bien dans mon reading challenge). Je voulais juste que l’expérience soit supportable et que je puisse en rire.

Avis sans spoiler ? Je veux commencer par dire qu’il y avait du potentiel dans ce livre et que je pense qu’il a été écrit et auto-publié par quelqu’un d’assez jeune, ce qui est tout à son honneur, mais ce qui explique également énormément de choses au niveau des choix d’écriture. Certains moments ont réussi à me faire rire pour de bon et à me faire ressentir un petit peu d’empathie envers Nora (notre MC). Seulement, ces bons côtés étaient immédiatement suivis de choses qui me faisaient grimacer. Beaucoup de clichés, de girl hate, des plot hole, un manque de maturité dans l’écriture des personnages adultes. Sans parler du fait qu’on parle d’une ado de 16 ans dans un harem inversé où les 4 garçons sont des frères adoptifs. Heureusement qu’il ne s’est rien passé dans ce premier tome parce que sinon j’aurais mis le feu à ma liseuse.

Nora est le genre de MC que beaucoup de gens vont considérer comme badass parce qu’elle sait se battre et n’est pas féminine. Quand les gens vont-ils enfin comprendre qu’on peut être une fille badass qui sait se battre et penser aux garçons et au maquillage ? Certaines de ses réflexions sortaient de nulle part et manquaient totalement de réflexion justement (pour ne pas dire maturité, vu qu’elle a 16 ans), mais ça va de paire avec le comportement des garçons.

Parlons-en, des garçons d’ailleurs. Ils étaient tous interchangeables. Honnêtement il n’y en a que 2 qui ont vaguement une personnalité un peu définie (et encore “personnalité” est un grand mot) : Hez, le coléreux, et Phoenix, le plus intelligent des trois (ou le moins stupide, ça dépend du point de vue). Je me souviens du prénom d’Oz uniquement parce que ben… Oz… Et il m’a fallu bien 10 secondes pour me souvenir du prénom de Berrett. Bref, tous les personnages manquent de profondeur, on n’arrive pas à cerner leur personnalité et c’est vraiment dommage. Il aurait suffit d’étaler l’histoire dans le temps pour nous donner l’occasion de voir Nora passer du temps avec chacun d’entre eux individuellement pour comprendre leurs personnalités et ce qu’elle leur trouve parce qu’à part leur physique, je vois pas.

Je pense aussi qu’il y a un problème au niveau de la représentation. Un des garçons est censé être (au moins en partie) natif-américain et la manière dont Nora dit qu’elle le sait est… bizarre. Je vous laisse juger par vous-même :

"C'est évident qu'il a du sang de natif-américain en lui, mais je ne lui ai jamais demandé combien. Demander une chose pareille parait malpoli. Je peux totalement le voir maintenant car c'est plus évident avec sa peau légèrement hâlée et sa carrure mince mais musclée. Si je devais trouver un mot sophistiqué, je dirais athlétique. En grande partie parce que c'est la première fois que je vois quelqu'un à qui ça va. Ses cheveux noirs lui arrivent aux épaules et bouclent légèrement aux pointes. Ils sont épais et ont l'air doux."

(c'est une traduction approximative que j'ai fait à la va-vite mais vous comprenez où je veux en venir)

Et ne parlons même pas du seul personnage gay, qui est un cliché absolu du slutty gay qui regarde le cul de tous les mecs et qui est le BFF de la MC. On sent qu'il est gay uniquement pour que Nora puisse avoir un ami garçon (vu que toutes les filles la détestent) qui ne menacera pas la masculinité fragile de nos 4 lurons et qui ne les rendra pas jaloux. C’était dur à lire.

TL;DR : J’ai eu l’impression de lire une fanfic écrite par une fille de 16 ans mais j’espère que Shay Cabe continuera d’écrire ce qui lui plaît parce qu’il n’y a qu’en pratiquant qu’on s’améliore. Puis faut avoir du courage pour auto-publier un bouquin alors chapeau.

[sell-our-skins]

Day 1 of Paradise Motel Week Inspired by this and this comic by Tapefish AO3 Link

The Girl was sitting in one of the ratted Diner booths, aggressively scribbling her orange crayon on a stained napkin. The light of the sun was just beginning to poke through the cracked widows of the Diner turned Killjoy base. The Girl smiled as she felt the beams of sun shine down onto her, making her feel warmer. After all, there wasn’t a proper heating system in the Diner.

A bell echoed through the silent front room, breaking the Girl’s focus and signalling someone had just entered. Kobra Kid slithered into the room, still wearing his bike helmet. 

“Hiya Kobra,” she flashed a smile at him, fully showing off the gap in between her front teeth. He carefully slipped his helmet off and ran a hand through his freshly bleached hair. Kobra gave a somewhat lopsided smile and a bag of chips to her in return. 

“Mornin’ Motorbaby. Got you something, don’t tell Pois, though,” the lanky Killjoy flopped down into the booth across from her, putting his sunglasses back on. The Girl tore open the bag, happily shoving chips in her mouth. It was rare that she got something like this, with Carbons being pretty hard to come by. She had completely abandoned her crayon and drawing, instead drawing her full attention to the potato chips.

“What’cha drawing?” Kobra pointed at the napkin, full of the Motorbaby’s messy drawings. She brought her head back up, trying to talk through her mouthful of the chips, “Dwawing.” 

“Please don’t talk with your mouth full,” he sighed. Kobra wasn’t mad at her, he could never bring himself to be. None of the Fab Four could. There was something about her, an aura maybe, that made it impossible to be. The Girl nodded and continued eating her chips. They sat in a peaceful silence for only a few moments.

She swallowed the food before she spoke up again, “Hey Kobe?”

“Hey kid?” he echoed, a shadow of a smile appearing on his face. The Girl struggled to run a hand through her hair, a habit she had picked up from Kobra himself. She squinted at the patch on his red leather jacket, a snake, she remembered. 

“How was I made?”

It took Kobra off guard, if he was being completely honest. If it weren’t for his glasses, the Girl would have seen a thousand different expressions flash over his face in seconds. The question had come out of nowhere, like a slap in the face. Kobra blinked once, twice before awkwardly clearing his throat, “I don’t think I’m the best person...to answer this?”

His voice had trailed off like it was a question, something not even he was sure about. The Girl, however, didn’t comment on it, she didn’t even seem to question it. Instead, she nodded, took her chips, and wandered off. Leaving Kobra to his thoughts and the napkin. 

--=+=--

The Girl was hunched over in a dark cabinet, the heat of the desert afternoon growing way too hot for her to handle. Who knew living in the middle of a desert filled with radiation would result in scorching hot afternoons? It may have been a fairly tight space, but it was comfortable, quiet, and her own space. The motorbaby was continuing to munch on her chips, much slower than earlier, though.

“Kid?” Poison’s familiarly loud voice called out. They sounded close, probably in the same room as her. She let out a little snicker. When Party spoke up again, she could hear the chuckle in their voice beginning to form, “Oh boy, I sure do wonder where our motorbaby could’ve gone. Too bad, I guess she doesn’t want this shiny looking rock I foun-”

At that, the Girl fell out of the cabinet loudly announcing her presence with an exasperated sounding, “I WANT A ROCK.” 

Poison burst into laughter, their greasy hair tied up into a loose bun. They squatted down to her level, offering a hand to help her up. The tiny Killjoy happily took it and once she was up, Party replaced it with the rock. It was smooth, but had tiny bumps along the surface. She carefully ran her fingers along it.

“Got somethin’ on your mind, kid?” Party’s words cause her train of thought to go reeling off of it’s tracks. She carefully pushed the, now empty, bag of chips back into the cupboard, remembering what Kobra had told her. 

“Where did I come from...like, how was I made?” she didn’t look up from her smooth-not smooth rock, giving it a light squeeze. Party seemed a lot less taken aback than Kobra had been, which made sense, in retrospect. Kobra never was the best with existential questions like the Girl’s had been. Though, their eyebrows still raised for a moment.

“We found you wanderin’ round the zones, and decided to take you in. You were like a tumbleweed,” their voice was still loud, but the tone of it had changed. It was more calm, maybe. More sincere. 

‘Like a tumbleweed,’ she pondered. The Girl never liked tumbleweeds. They were invasive, and weren’t supposed to be there. She once saw Ghoul belly-flop on a tumbleweed for a Carbon. It looked painful. Tumbleweeds were just dead plants. The Girl didn’t like tumbleweeds.

“Like a stray cat,” she offered, as a replacement for the previous comparison. Cats were better, in her opinion. Newsie fed stray cats by her station. The Girl had gotten to hug one once, and it was quite possibly the softest thing she had ever held. Cats were better than tumbleweeds. 

“Like a cat,” Poison agreed.

--=+=--

It had cooled down quite a bit since the afternoon, the whole of the Diner now being a pleasant temperature. The youngest Killjoy wandered into the back room that Kobra and Ghoul have turned into a workshop of sorts. The walls were filled with different electronics and scraps and it was lit by exclusively yellow-tinted-lights, giving it a completely different feeling than the rest of the Diner. 

Ghoul was hunched over their work table, all the way in the back of the Diner. Xyr hair was pulled up into a messy, greasy bun, and xe was pressing xyr face close to the trinket xe was making. Most likely some form of explosive. The Girl made her way towards the tall desk, Ghoul giving her a quick glance before going back to what xe was doing. 

“Hey Funko,” she started, “Where did I come from?”

Xe turned towards her, still holding the screwdriver. “We built you out of scrap,” xe said nonchalantly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, xyr signature smile on xyr face all the while. 

The Girl gasped dramatically, her mind utterly blown. It made sense, she supposed. Maybe that’s why things charged if it was near her for too long. Maybe she was like one of those superheroes in the old comics she would read, the ones with the supernatural powers that would always try to help people. It might be nice, being made of scrap.

“Are you made out of scrap?” she wondered out loud. That seemed to take xem slightly off guard. Ghoul’s smile twitched, but only for a moment.

“In a way, kid,” xyr smile went back to normal as xe went back to tinkering. It was nice for the Girl to think that she and Ghoul had something in common. 

--=+=--

Night had finally washed over the zones, making the sky a deep blue shade. The night’s starry freckles had fully come out, lighting up the sky and the area below it. It had fully cooled down, making it downright pleasant to sit outside, which is exactly what Jet Star and the Girl were doing. 

She had asked Jet to do her hair, which was exactly what he was doing.  He was putting half of her hair up into a bun, the only noise coming from the crickets, no doubt hiding in some bush. 

“Jet Star?” the Girl asked, breaking the peaceful quiet. 

He responded with a soft sounding, “Hm?” Not looking up from what he was doing. 

“Where did I come from?”

“Where did you come from?” he echoed. 

“Yeah. How am I here?”

“Easy,” he emphasized his words by finishing the bun, a gentle snap coming from the hair band, “You were a gift from the Phoenix Witch.”

“Oh,” the Girl thought about that for a moment. Unlike the other responses she had gotten today, this one just felt...right. Somewhere in her chest, she was filled with a warm, tingling feeling. For some reason, the answer resonated with her. She ran her hands over the sand, which was slightly warm. It was more pleasant than anything, compared to the scorching hot it was earlier in the day.

“That’s pretty cool, actually.”

“Sure is, Motorbaby.”