#i basically have a u shaped cut now yay

[milkywayan]

always wear your gloves, kids!

[kichona-s]

Hereby requesting facial structure rant

ok for those who dont know this is reference to my post where i cry about george's beautiful fucking face at 2am

this is pretty fucking specific and also pretty long so i wont clog your tl with it so its under the cut

OK FOR GEORGE. Personality and everything else aside he has my most favourite face out of the entire grid (sorry guanyu) BECAUSE. LOOK AT HIM. THERE SO MANY NICE ANGLES AND ITS SO NICE AN LONG AND HIS CHEEKBONES??? THE JAW??? his nose also fits his face really nicely ok but the key is to not look at him head-on you need to get the side profiles and the 3/4 views because FUCK. i love so much theres so many points of interest for his face also his chin juts out really strong which looks lowkey kinda funny in some pictures but it really adds to the whole angleley bony face structure he has going on anyway. george my number 1 fav face the only thing im not a big fan of are his ears rip theyre too round for the whole angular coherency BUT THATS FINE IDC

MOVING ON TO MAX VERSTAPPEN (this is not done in a ranking order btw i havent drawn the whole grid so i cant properly rank everyone) ok like im gonna be real with yall. i thought he was fucking ugly as shit when i first got into f1. like i looked at his photo and was like ??? ig he wins a lot lmao OK BUT THEN LIKE A FEW MONTHS AGO I KEPT GETTING MAX STUFF ON MY TIKTOK FYP AND I WAS LIKE. HOLD ON. HIS PERSONALITY KINDA CUTE ASF. ok yea basically i gaslit myself into loving his face (either that or charles possessed me). for max im way too drawn to his lips (@loquarocoeur bro u know this lmfao) and ngl anyone who read the notes in my face breakdown u could probably tell but i love his lips??? so much??? gonna keep it pg here but he should suck on more things other than the twisty redbull can straw things

still on max but i really like how fucking square his face is. its so refreshing to draw. also did you notice that he has a small ass forehead?? bc he does. he looks wrong when i draw his forehead too big its kinda funny (looking at YOU oscar). i also really like his ear shape? it bends pretty low so it looks kinda cute and i try to make sure i draw it properly lmfao. special note to when hes looking down but then his eyes look up and holy smokes it brings out his nose bridge and the eyebrow bone thing SO WELL???!! anyway i want to eat him

for oscar uh. his face is oval? i guess?? after all the oscars ive drawn youd think i have more to say but i dont :( his face is pretty and also sometimes a pain to get right but other than that nothing too much for me to rant about. OK BUT HIS HAIR??? LOVE HIS HAIR I LOVE THE FUCKING SWOOPY THING IT DOES (it also makes my life WAYYY easier bc i can just draw the swoop and most people know its oscar yay for good character design). also everyone is right he does look like a cat. a cat with a massive fucking forehead. also whenever i draw him i remember that hes only three years older than me and its pretty scary ngl! thats hitting a bit too close to home for my taste! hes cute though and ive definitely drawn some banger oscars so one love

NOW FOR LANDO WHOOOOIMABOUTAMAKEANAMEFORMYSELFHERE! ok firstly his face is like a V so i always need to remind myself to bring the sides of his face in more compared to oscar. also did you know his eyes are a bit lopsided? theyre on different parallel lines im telling you go look at the 2023 official driver photos its So Bad i want to cry (that was also my first introduction to him so. i thought he was fucking ugly too). his face is really interesting to draw especially with his eyebrows that fade in and out and are really fucking bushy in the middle LMAO. do i love his face? nah. is it fun to draw? yea pretty fucking fun ESPECIALLY because he somehow suits all the funny shit i wanna put him in like dresses and skirts and bikinis (and also @cx-boxbox is an enabler istg half of the landos ive drawn probably wouldnt exist without her) also his ears look pointy from certain angles and i think thats really cute so i always draw them pointy :))

for charles uh i dont like drawing his hair its a pain. nice face i guess

LASTLY MY ONE AND ONLY!! THE MAN WHO BREAKS ME OUT OF ARTBLOCK REPEATEDLY!!!! ZHOU GUANYU!!!!!!! he's just very cute to me i love his stupid fucking eyebags AND ALSO THE WAY HE SMILES IS ADORABLE I WANNA PASS OUT :(((((( i dont draw his non-chibi version as much bc whenever i do i feel the need to make him Perfect (because hes my fav yknow) so i tend to just. not do it. unless i need to cure my artblock then i draw him so idk hes like my pc reset button. anyway i love zhou and i love looking at pictures of zhou and if he doesnt get a seat next year i will probably cry. also shoutout to sweetcorn the bestest most adorablest cat (wins out jimmy and sassy btw i dont care sweetcorn is the best fight me)

comments questions and arguments are all encouraged i stand firm in my stances (for now at least we'll see again 6 months later)

[lunarot]

i think one thing i love about wonderland is how many things in it imply a Structure that just doesnt serve a real purpose besides like, perpetuating itself.

IM NO ANTHROPOLOGY NERD or even well read but people have struggled to define "playing" for a while now. theres the idea that its necessarily opposed to "work" and meaning, but on the other hand is voluntary. then u can split it even more into freeform and rule-governed, where imposing one or the other would ruin it. games in traditional communities usually draw on real roles with toys as their vehicle (think baby dolls or anything you associate with certain jobs for example). so basically it teaches kids how to cooperate and who they can become, both of which are critical for participating in society

But you look at wland and already we are banging our head in the doorway with the games being mandatory. peter says "you dont play the game With others, you play it For your own sake." so anything communal goes out the window. (which is fair. for a place full of conflict, they only really get a toy version of it. toothless and premediated!)

even when its all in the shape of work, with conforming rewarded with Authority and Power, theyve already been sort of cut loose from the world. so the only thing abiding the rules furthers Is the game. its game all the way down. l'game pour game if you will.

add to that the whole thing of the residents "being" time and formless without a clock. like the roles, its only by fencing it in that its given meaning. alice treasures time both sentimentally (time with her sister) and out of a compulsive need to make herself useful (time spent working). even the idea of wasting time is a pretty new and industrial invention, with clockwork enabling further ways to exploit and menace people.

in the truth end the only reason alice doesnt work a 7-day week is because she reserves sundays for staying in and blaming herself.* (yay for labor so bad it grew a rights movement!!!!) but wland is a haven, if only because with how maladjusted everyone is, they even knock time askew

*this was one of the things that really struck me actually. the fact that its not the shock of loss but the burden of living with it that did her in

[strawbrryshak2]

How i did my Pyro TF2 mask :D

hai!!!!! this is a "tutorial" on how i did my pyro mask.

STUFF U NEED!!

-craft foam (i used 3mm thick foam :3)

-thin clear acrylic, or sturdy plastic

-mechanic towels (for paper mache)

-flour, warm water, and salt (also for paper mache)

-BALOON (for fun and also paper mache)

-a little tiny fan and a battery (OPTIONAL, but recommended)

- a LOT of hot glue....

- cardboard

-and black spray paint and acrylic paint ofc!!!!!!

OK.... STEP 1

first, to make sure it fits all good, use the craft foam and make a "base" out of it. Use strips of foam and hot glue. shape it 2 ur head and try it on!! (it will look very silly)

I also shaped out the snout (????????????) after 4 extra sturdiness

make sure to leave a little excess room bc the paper mache will change how it fits on u!

Also, in this step i cut out circles out of clear acrylic panels, and glued them into the eye holes. But u can also use a sturdy plastic.

ALsO ALSO!!- I messed up a bit on this part- I should have tinted the plastic here, but I didn't and ended up having 2 do it with sharpie later. When you make yours, make sure to put like a thin layer of dark plastic or whateva works 4 you. (the sharpie was bad, but it could work if you scribbled on the outer layer of plastic and NOT the inside........my bad lawl)

STEP 2

Paper mache!!!! (I don't have many good pics of this part so just trust me)

First, you blow up a balloon where ur big head would go in the mask, and find something to put it on.

My dad helped make the paper mache, but basically you mix hot water, a bit of salt, and flour until you have a thin mixture of it all.

Next, cut the mechanic towels into strips, and cover them in the goop. Then lay them on your base, and make em smooth as possible! repeat until the parts u want covered are covered <3

heres a mid progress shot- yeah there a balloon in there! i also ended up covering the snout (??????????) completely with paper mache.

After your done, put a fan on it and go to bed!!!

If you did it right, you'll need to add another layer after the first one drys, so just repeat and don't forget the fan after your done!!!! (It helps the paper mache dry a LOT faster its craze)

Here is it finished and dry!!!!! (pop yer balloon yay!)

It looks really silly i hope u enjoy

( im wearing a balaclava under to keep my hair outta the way)

PART 3 Paint! mask off the eyes, and front of the snout (??) spray yer black everywhere u want, let that shit dry, and do a few layers. when its all covered, go in with grey acrylic and do the inner eyes and front snout and vent thing. Don't forget the "optical mask" bit in-between the eyes. this can be hand painted on its no biggy. if u fuck up u can do touch ups with black acrylic, just don't go overboard (I did oops)

STEP 4?? (i hope this all makes sense so far lol)

and add the side thing?? like this part here

basically, just get something that is large and circle like, cut out some cardboard and glue foam around the edge. I am not good at describing but I think you can figure it out form there, if u have any questions dm me lol

after u painted that too just hot glue it on :)

ALSO. This part is optional but extremely important if you don't wanna sweat balls (as much) mini. fan.

here is mine lol (THE BLACK SHIT INSIDE THE MASK IS SPRAY PAINT!)

a fan like this could work, but the bigger u can go the better.

for the connector bits, the fan can be turned on and off, so get a switch like this

My dad, (engineer tf2 irl i am not even joking) soldered the wires on 4 me and made sure they lined up. I can do a qna with him later about it if anyone really wants 2 know but yeah. Fan!

pART step 5>>?/

Put on your balaclava (spy???) and boom thats it your pyro tf2 for realz now!!!!

i hope this helps someone out there!!! bye!!!!!! if u have any questions dm me or comment something <33333

[kanjukucompany]

【A3! Translation】 Citron SR: Accessorized with Flowering Dogwood (1/2)

PART 1 / PART 2

thanks to ali for providing the backstage! 🙏

(translation under the cut)

Fireworks Through a Screen

Citron: Hm hm hm~ ♪ Oh, here comes a huge fish shadow..!

Citron: Carefully... Carefully...

Citron: Yay, I caught it! Super rare catch! Sakuya, look, look~!

Sakuya: Wah, amazing! Congratulations!

Citron: This is way bigger than any fish Guy's ever caught! This is gonna sell for a lot money~.

Sakuya: That game you're playing, it's been a hot topic for while now, right?

Citron: That's right! It's a game where you create your own village~.*

Sakuya: The kids at daycare talk about it quite a bit.

*door opens*

Itaru: There you are, Citron. Wait, are you playing that game again?

Citron: Oh, Itaru, look! I just caught a massive fish!

Sakuya: It's really impressive that such a big fish can even be caught!

Itaru: Ooh, nice, nice.

Itaru: ...Also, Citron, I just sent you a LIME message asking you if you were here.

Citron: Oh, sorry. I was so absorbed in the game that I didn't notice!

Citron: In my defense, if you wanted to know if I was in my room, you could've just swung by to check.

Itaru: I figured a LIME message was easier than moving.

Citron: If Tsuzuru or Chikage heard you say that, they'd definitely go full tsukkomi* on you!

Itaru: Can't deny that.

Sakuya: By the way, Itaru-san, did you need something from Citron-san?

Itaru: I do. There's an event going on in one of the apps I play right now, so I came to invite him to a raid.

Citron: Sorry, but I'm busy right now, so no can do~. Just ask Banri instead!

Itaru: Banri can't join either...

Itaru: You're pretty addicted to that game, Citron. It's been forever since I last logged on.

Sakuya: You play, too?

Itaru: Back when it first came out, but I barely ever touch it now. Seems Citron's held up well, though.

Sakuya: Definitely, Citron-san enjoys playing it every day!

Citron: Itaru gets bored too quickly! The neighborhood kids kept up with it way longer.

Sakuya: Can you play with friends?

Citron: Yep! I enjoy going back and forth between the children's villages and mine.

Itaru: Well, I basically speedran everything when it was still in it's early stages. There weren't any new challenges left.

Citron: No, no! There's no end to this game! New features and events are constantly being added.

Itaru: Speaking of, what kind of event have you been playing lately?

Citron: Currently, the regular fireworks shows are especially hot! You can even shoot off ones with your own designs.

Sakuya: Wah~, that sounds so fun!

Citron: Look, this is one of the fireworks I designed! What do you think?

Sakuya: U-Umm, what type of shape is that...?

Itaru: It's Citron's enigmatic quality.

Citron: Fufufu... I'm the #1 fireworks craftsman in my village!

Itaru: And there's that enigmatic self-confidence.

Citron: Oops, it's that time already!

Sakuya: Are you going somewhere?

Citron: I have to meet the children! Off I go~!

*door shuts*

Sakuya: Meet...?

Itaru: Well, I guess I better get playing.

*the game citron's playing is animal crossing lol

*the 'straight-man' man in a manzai comedy duo

[binary--sun]

hey!!! i hope its not too much to ask, but i was wondering how you did the text effect in the first gif of your mandalorian edit? it turned out so lovely !!!!!

hey it’s no problem at all!!!! thank you and i’m always open to sharing how i make my stuff 💖 

basically i use after effects to animate the text! i make and color the gif as usual on photoshop. then, i create a new composition with the same dimension as my gif, then drag the gif into it. for the text, i followed this tutorial beginning from around the 3 minute mark.

here is the final result

a summary under the cut

keep in mind i’m just showing you what i did! if you want a more in depth explanation about AE, there are many great tutorials all over youtube including the one i linked above!

basically you duplicate your main text and nudge it to your preferred position. 

press ‘q’ or select the shape tool (while having the text layer selected) to create a mask over the part of the text you want to show. the overlapping part will disappear. set the feather to 9 for the gradient effect. here’s some screenshot to help visualize it better 

don’t forget to set the character style to no fill and a 1 pt stroke. here’s the final result 

next we want to animate it so the text pops from underneath the main text. select the text you want to animate, go to the 1s mark (or any time at all you want the text to pop), press p, click on the clock icon besides to create a keyframe. then go back to around 10-20 frames before, and move the text until it’s covered by the main text. this will automatically create a new keyframe :)

for the spread out effect, click the little arrow besides animate -> select tracking. move the time indicator to your last position keyframe, then click on the clock icon next to ‘tracking amount’. move the time indicator a couple frames forward, and change the amount to 25, or whatever spacing you need.

this is how my keyframes look

basically i repeated the same steps for the rest of the text! adjust the tracking amount at the topmost text so it spread out more.

yay! to animate the text going back, basically sellect all the key frames, copy them (ctrl +c) move the time indicator to around thee end of your gif (anytime you want the text to move back), paste the key frames (ctrl v), then right click -> keyframe assistant -> time reverse keyframe. move the position keyframes to the right, after the final tracking key frame (because we want the text to contract before moving anywhere).

we want smooth animation! so select all the keyframes, then press f9 (or right click -> easy ease). 

now that all your keyframes are in order, you can adjust the timing to your heart’s desire! just drag the keyframes around and see what looks good :) to see the keyframes easier, select the text layer, and press u on your keyboard. here is how mine look:

since the text is above a gif, i select all the text, go to layers -> blending mode -> exclusion. i change the font color to white so it has a nice black and white exclusion color.

now to export the gif! you have to use adobe media encoder (as far as i know anyways), so go to file -> export -> add to adobe media encoder queue. it’ll open the app, where you can select the file type ‘animated gif’.

and that’s it! i hope this makes sense anon hkjfhakfhak if not, i’m sorry and i’m open to questions if you wanna know more :”) i don’t know how familiar you are with AE and it might be confusing if you don’t know about AE at all. i’m no pro and am also relatively new to AE to be honest 🙂, but there are lots of tutorials online that are so fun to learn and incorporate into your gif creations 💖

[paranetics]

hiya could you do a kiadam for 17. and 22.? if your not too busy. thanks !!

17.  “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” 22.  “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

He’s completely minding his own business, being friendly with his physics textbook, all pressed up against the end of the bookshelf in the library, successfully having a love affair with headache-inducing math equations, when Mira ambushes him.

“Hiya,” she says, suddenly right in his face.

“Aisghls!” he gurgles, in a completely manly way, thank you. She sits back on her heels and laughs at him, loud and mocking. He scowls at her.

Her braces are blue now, matching the streaks in her hair. She looks nice, he decides, all neon green and blue. The loudness of her wardrobe suits her -- she’d be strange to him if she ever tried to tone it down.

“Oh, man, you should’ve seen your face.”

“Fuck you,” Kai snaps, smoothing out the pages of his book. “I am busy learning how to destroy the AP Phys exam. Stop being a distraction.”

She pouts at him. “Come on, you're seriously not still mad at me about the ceramic pig.”

“I’m always going to be mad at you about the ceramic pig,” he says primly. Then he sighs, unable to resist. “What’s up?”

Her smile turns bright, and his heart does that familiar little stutter. Kai has always, always loved her. Sure, she’s Adam’s best friend and has inclinations more Reeve-based, but there’s always going to be something about her that just catches him in the right spot. He’s over it now, and he has erm, other areas of interest, but she’ll always be special.

“Nessa’s having a party--”

“Ugh,” Kai interrupts.

“--with alcohol--”

“Double ugh.”

“And cute boys will be there,” Mira wheedles, whipping out her best puppy-eyes.

“I don’t care,” Kai says, shuffling away from her and looking back at his textbook. The particles will... he reads.

“Adam will be there,” she tries. Obvious trump card. Goddammit.

He cuts his eyes toward her, calculating. She’s grinning, triumphant, confident that she’s got him. He groans internally, because it’s either that he goes to this party and enjoys at least twelve percent of it, or Mira and Adam will wake him up from a dead sleep sometime in the AM, drunk and needy.

Part of his resistance is a lie, he always likes parties. He doesn’t like Vanessa, but she’s Reeve’s friend, and by proxy, Mira’s friend. He can pretend to like her for one night, especially if he gets to hang out with people. What can he say, extroversion. It’s a disease.

It’s just, recently, there’s been this trend. It’s like he’s been cursed.

Kai pretends to think about it.

“Fine,” he grits out.

“Yay!” Mira says, standing up and doing a little celebratory wiggle. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and unlocks it. “I’ll add you to the group text. Also, I want Reeve to drive me so you’re taking Adam alone okay bye.”

“Huh,” Kai says as she speed-walks away from him. “What? Hey!”

But she’s gone, vaguely eucalyptus-scented-shampoo left in her wake. Alone? With Adam? Fuck.

His phone buzzes.

-

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

mirakat added humantorchkai to the group

abeaverdam: Oh he’s coming?

lochnessa: Damn I didn’t know he left his house anymore

mirakat: ya i cornered his ass in th library

mirakat: hes a total slut 4 skool

mirakat: kais my bitch tho lol so ya hes comin

mirakat: dam hes drivin u

abeaverdam: Is that ok kai?

humantorchkai: yeah

humantorchkai: when?

lochnessa: Friday.

-

Kai’s late to first period on Wednesday, which Reeve notices, and bugs him about for ten minutes straight. He rolls in twenty minutes after the bell, wearing the clothes he left on his bedroom floor, all rumpled up and disorganized, and without a note. He drops into his seat and makes it approximately two minutes before Reeve leans over, into his space, and starts the interrogation.

“Oh my God,” Kai says to the ceiling. “For the last time, my alarm didn’t go off.”

“My Spidey-senses tell me you’re a liar,” Reeve says, and seriously, what does Mira see in this complete dork? He’s so nosy.

Kai drags his gaze from the ceiling to stare at him. “I think your janky-ass ‘spider-sense’ needs a psych eval.”

Reeve crosses his arms and sniffs at him. “Rude. I thought we were friends.”

“We are--” Kai scrubs his hands through his hair violently, frustrated. He catches the smirk on Reeve’s face. “Hey! That doesn’t work on me anymore. I’ve evolved.”

The smirk doesn’t leave Reeve’s face.

The truth is, Kai’s late because he had a nightmare. Or a wet dream. Depends on your definition of either thing. It’s been reoccurring pretty consistently, and Kai always wakes up from it breathing hard, adrenaline in his veins, and a hard-on. Today just happened to be shittier, and he couldn’t get back to sleep right away, so he overslept when his alarm went off.

It’s pretty much the worst, been happening for almost a month, and Kai is slowly losing his mind. But. whatever, the important part is this: he’s with Adam, and Adam kisses him. They could be in space, or in a submarine, or whatever Kai’s subconscious feels like cooking up. They could be anything, pirates, elven rebel warriors, it doesn't matter. In every dream, Kai’s with Adam, and at some point Adam leans over, the smell of Hennessy whiskey on his breath, and kisses Kai.

It’s why Kai’s been so rigid lately, avoiding his friends and refusing to go to parties, because of what happened Last Time he’d gone.

Mad Libs! Fill in the blanks, Sherlock.

He’s so totally, totally, totally screwed. And no one is allowed to know, not even Reeve, who knows Adam’s a flirty drunk and that Kai’s pathetic, and hasn’t even told anyone any of Kai’s other secrets, because this? This is world-ending levels of FUCK.

So, when the bell rings, Kai basically sprints out the door to avoid Reeve.

-

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: should i bring da weed

reever: ohhh shiiiit hell yeah

lochnessa: No LSD though

speedyskeet: :O

speedyskeet: um ok MOM

reever: wtf ness

reever: psychedelic rights!!!

speedyskeet: let me get us fkd up!!

mirakat: wait didnt we hav 2 call an ambulance 4 coop last time u brought more than weed to a party

mirakat: or was tht a different school

speedyskeet: .........

speedyskeet: ok so im assuming edibles and my bong right

-

Kai takes his lunch to Mr Tucker’s room.

Mr Tucker is the APUS history teacher for the senior class, and he is the only non-STEM teacher that Kai likes. Mira is also his favorite student, so he lets them eat lunch in his room. It’s better than fighting for a spot in the crowded cafeteria, and Kai likes hiding from the rest of the student body.

Adam, Reeve, and Mira are sitting at one of the table groups when Kai walks in with his plate of chicken nuggets, Vanessa and Skeet nowhere to be seen. They’re probably getting high in the parking lot.

Mr Tucker is scrolling through youtube, his computer desktop displayed on the projector screen.

“Why’d you look up Nyan cat?” Kai asks, tilting his head as he watches Mr Tucker scroll.

“It’s stuck in his head,” Mira pipes up, helpfully. 

Mr Tucker grunts confirmation and apparently selects the version he likes. Reeve groans when it starts playing, slumping forward over his tuna salad. Mr Tucker picks up his normal vegetable-based salad, his bushy mustache wiggling in that way that means he’s smiling.

Kai sits next to Reeve, across from Adam. Mistake, Kai realizes too late. Big mistake. Because now they have to make eye contact, and Kai’s belly catches fire at the memory of drunkAdamhe’sKISSINGMESOMEONEHELP when he looks down at his plate of chicken nuggets. It’ll be obvious on his face in a few moments, he’s never been able to fight off a blush well, and then there’s going to be Questions. Capital-Q Questions.

But Reeve’s talking about, like, whatever drama majors talk about, and when Kai chances a peek up, Adam’s not looking at him. So.

Kai can’t help it, okay? He’s creepy. Sue him. No wait, that’s not-- ugh.

Kai studies the contours of Adam’s face while he’s not looking. His high cheekbones and his sharp chin. His heavy eyebrows that are shaped perfectly (”Ugh, you’re so fucking gross,” Reeve had said when Kai had voiced this thought aloud. “His eyebrows? I think you need to ask him out. Get it out of your system.”) and his eyes are that warm shade of brown, almost gold, soft and kind.

His hair is longer now, and errant curls flop over his forehead and around his ears. Kai watches the long line of Adam’s throat when he tilts his head back from the force of laughing at something Reeve said. Kai’s transfixed by the inviting stretch of dark skin, entertaining a thought of leaning over and just biting down so it’s not his fault he doesn’t see it coming when Reeve violently jabs him in the rib.

Kai jumps. “Ah! What the fuck?”

“Language,” Mr Tucker says in the toneless inflection of someone who doesn’t really care but responds on reflex. He’s now scrolling through Seasame Street videos.

Reeve shrugs, unrepentant. “You were gone there, dude.”

“Yeah,” Adam agrees, eyebrows raised in polite curiosity. “Planet Zenon gone.”

Kai ducks his head. “I’m, uh, stressed about AP physics?” he tries.

“Uh-huh,” Reeve says, “and are you asking us to confirm that for you?”

“Leave him alone,” Mira interrupts mildly. “Only, like, a hundred people a year get above a three on that exam.”

“Wow, how is that class still funded?” Adam asks.

“Elitism?” Mira guesses. “Maybe it’s like, a torture thing. Like, a test within a test.”

“What,” Reeve says, “like, if you pass you can become a super-secret spy?”

“Or I can, like, do another Chernobyl. Or I’m allowed secret access to government secrets. Ooh, maybe they’ll tell me the moon is a projection into the sky.” Kai says, warming to this idea.

“Then how would they explain waves?” Reeve asks.

“Uh, giant wave pool,” Kai answers.

“Hot take: the world is in a giant wave pool,” Mira grins at him.

Adam blinks almost in slow-motion, the sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks, a smile growing on his face, and Kai is once again caught like a fly in honey. Just like that, all the saliva is gone from Kai’s mouth, and he’s completely lost the thread of whatever’s happening around him.

Okay, so, recap: totally, totally, totally screwed.

-

adam: U sure you’re ok driving me?

kai: dam i swear its fine

kai: i’d say something if it was a problem

kai: my parents have been trying to kick me out basically every weekend, this’ll make them so fucking happy

adam: Lol

adam: [A stock photo of two white parents sitting on a beach towel in a tropical location, smiling adoringly at each other. In the blurry background, a toddler with similar skin color and hair is being attacked by a seagull.]

-

“There is a PROBLEM!” Kai announces, flopping heavily onto his bed, tossing an arm dramatically over his forehead. Mira doesn’t even look up at him.

“Hm?” she says from the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She’s looking more at her iPad than at him.

“Oh my God,” Kai groans. “You don’t even care. I’m nothing to you. You enjoy my suffering.”

“Die white man,” Mira says tonelessly. “I’m trying to beat my old high score in Tetris. What’s your damage.”

“I have nothing to wear on Friday,” Kai moans, pained.

“What? Why do you even care? Your regular clothes are fine.”

“Oh my God, Mira! It’s a party,” Kai breathes the word like its holy, a precious thing nestled in the crook of his tongue, not to be defiled by people who wear school clothes to special events. “And I want to get hit on.”

“I’ll hit on you,” Mira promises. The iPad makes a wah-wah-wah sound. She sighs, setting it aside and looking up at him, expression thoroughly unamused, clearly blaming him for her high-score loss.

“I did not do that,” Kai says. The blood’s started rushing to his head, so he sits up and blinks away the black spots as they dance in front of his vision. “I just wanna be hot,” he whines. 

“Okay, so, wear that stupid blue button-up with the tigers on it, and the black skinny jeans. It brings out your eyes,” she elaborates. “And tucked-in button-ups are hot on dudes. Oh, and--”

“If you’re gonna Queer Eye me, I swear to God,” Kai complains.

“Will you just... I was gonna say you should wear a tiny bit of eyeliner. It’s like, accentuating your features or some shit.”

“Why should I trust you?” Kai asks playfully. “I’ve never seen you go anywhere near a make-up in my life.”

Mira shrugs. “I saw it on Instagram. Anyways, Reeve said I have ‘good bone structure’, what does that even mean?”

“That he’s an idiot and I can’t believe you’re into him?” Kai ventures. Mira glares at him, so Kai leans back on the bed, rolling his eyes up to the bedroom ceiling at the glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars that have been there since he was seven. “Okay, okay. He was probably trying to compliment you, but since he’s a robot sent by aliens to infiltrate the earth he did it in a really bizarre way.”

Mira perks up. “You think?”

“He said ‘good’.”

“What should I say back?”

“Erm, that you’ll have his babies?”

Mira throws one of her glittery highlighter pens at him. It bounces off the center of his forehead and onto his lap. He laughs, picking it up and tossing it back.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe say that you like his bones, too.”

Mira takes out her phone.

-

adam: [A picture of a pina colada sitting on a kitchen counter in a pool of sunlight.]

adam: Winky face

kai: you could just like, use the emoji keyboard instead of typing it out

adam: Don’t make me frowny face

-

Kai spends fifteen minutes messing with his hair in the mirror. He gels it sticking up, twists his mouth critically at his reflection, and wets his hands to wipe it out. Nothing’s working for him today. It’s just one of those things, his clothes seem to hang off him awkwardly, and nothing looks right.

He makes a sound of frustration, and his mom pokes her head into the bathroom.

“Oh,” she says. “I thought you were going to a party?”

“Mom,” he growls. “I’m getting ready!”

“Hm.” 

She pushes the door all the way open, surveys him from head to toe, and reaches over to run a hand through his hair, leaving parts sticking up in her wake. Kai looks in the mirror. Now, instead of awkward ‘trying-too-hard’, he looks artfully tousled. He unbuttons two top buttons of his tiger shirt, and messes with the collar to make it look like someone had grabbed it and reeled him in for a kiss. He grins at himself.

“That’s better, I think,” she says.

“Thanks Mom,” he says, shuffling past her and out to the hallway.

“Limit yourself to three drinks!” she calls as he stuffs his feet into old converse. “If you get too intoxicated to drive, spend the night! Just text! Don’t forget to wear condoms and--”

Kai shuts the door in her face.

His car is a silver Prius, owned five times prior to him. The interior always smells a little bit like shamrock shake and in the winter requires a prayer and three engine turnovers to start. Kai loves it.

He pulls up to Adam’s street and texts without looking that he’s close. He parks in the street, and jogs up to Adam’s front door. He raps his knuckles on Adam’s door, the red one with caterpillar decals, and a blue handprint on the doorknob.

Adam throws open the door. “Gimme a sec, gotta grab my jacket.”

He’s wearing a white shirt and Kai’s favorite jeans of his (do Not judge him, okay, liking your crush’s ass is basically a given and is no longer considered a sin under the New Testament, so really Kai’s not weird for liking this pair of Adam’s jeans because it accentuates his butt.), the ones with rips in the thigh and at both knees, because Adam lives reckless and dies reckless.

He jams his feet into vans and grabs the heavy olive jacket off the coatrack and follows Kai out to the Prius.

“You look nice,” Adam says, offhand. Kai feels how hot his face immediately gets and hopes it isn’t ugly, sometimes his blushes look like a rash.

“Thanks,” he says, rubbing his neck, right hand fumbling for his keys.

They slide into their seats, and Kai is hit with the violent-sense memory of Hennesy whiskey, and dark streetlamps, and Adam’s soft voice and brown puppy-dog eyes imploring Kai, look at me. Look at me, please. And. And.

His phone buzzes.

“Oh, Vanessa wants us to pick up some soda,” Kai says through the rock in his throat.

“Ooh, ooh. Cherry 7-Up, Jarritos Lime, uh like, a ton of Mountain Dew... and Coke! We’ll need Coke,” Adam rambles as Kai pulls away from the street and heads toward the local general store.

-

mira: WHERE

mira: R

mira: U 

mira: 2

mira: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kai frowns at his phone. They’re in the check-out line, waiting for their turn with about three tons of soda on the conveyer. Kai’s got a fifty dollar bill from his parents, because they’re stupidly open-minded, but he’s still gonna make Vanessa pay him back. Adam’s inspecting the tabloids, making comments about all of the covers and whatever he thinks about them.

kai: WE’RE

kai: FUCKING

(Not sent !) kai: GETTING

(Not sent !) kai: DRINKS

mira: FUHDUK WHATTTT!!!?????????

Kai groans.

-

The party’s already alive by the time Adam and Kai get there, music thrumming against the walls of the house, the glass panes of the windows shaking with the vibrations. Weighed down by plastic bags full of drinks, and a little bit anxious, Kai fumbles with the door handle three times until Adam reaches over him and opens it.

The crowd is huge. He didn’t even know that Vanessa and Skeet knew this many people. There’s a wall of heat that hits them when they step inside, the difference between the inside and outside must be a solid ten degrees. Most people are crammed in the living room, near the speakers, where a sort of impromptu dancefloor has evolved. There are plenty of people lining the hallways, sitting on the stairs, and spilling over into the other places of the house. 

Vanessa has changed the lightbulbs to fuschia, cobalt, and teal colors, so the house looks almost like a club from a TV show. There’s this haze over everything - and, yep, definitely Skeet’s weed - that makes it seem smoky and mysterious. Adam kicks the door shut behind them as they begin to navigate the crowd.

Skeet’s leaning against one of the walls, talking to a tiny girl with piercings and too much eyeliner. She tosses her head, her hair flying up like a halo for a moment, luminescent in the multicolored lights of the house, and leans closer to Skeet. She’s holding a red solo cup, Skeet’s holding weed, and Kai’s arms are starting to hurt from all the soda.

“So, your, like, real name is Skeet? What kind of name is that? I mean, like, who does that to their kid?” she’s asking, valley girl accent and everything, even twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Skeet shrugs, unbothered. “My parents are hippies.” he spots them, then, and lifts his joint in a get over here gesture. Kai and Adam shove some people to stand in front of him. He grins. “Oh, dudes, nice. You got drinks. I wasn’t sure if you would, since Mira told us that you, uh, made a pit stop.” he waggles his eyebrows.

Kai groans, flushing.

“Uh, yeah,” Adam says, lifting up his bags. “for drinks? Hello?”

Skeet leers, grin stretching bigger. Kai scowls. He’s going to eat her one day, all Hannibal-Lecter style.

“Where is Mira, anyway?” he cuts in before Skeet says anything weird. “Where should we put the drinks?”

“Oh, just, you know,” Skeet makes a vague gesture with his hand that doesn’t really mean anything. “I think I saw her in the kitchen?”

“Thanks,” Kai mutters, shoving through the crowd and deeper into the house.

Mira and Vanessa are leaning against the sink, Reeve’s standing at the counter, completely covered in bottles of alcohol, thumb and forefinger at his chin like he’s surveying fine art. 

“Oh! You made it! I hate vodka without coke,” Mira says, striding forward and grabbing the bags from Adam.

Kai followers her back to the counter, and shoves the receipt into Vanessa’s limp hands without looking at her. Together, Kai and Mira start to set up the drink line, stacking up all the empty red cups at the edge of the counter as they try to make sure all the soda and alcohol are equally accessible. How Skeet even gets this stuff... he shudders to think. 

Kai waits until Adam and Reeve have wandered out of earshot to lean into Mira’s space. Vanessa had vacated the premise the moment it looked like any physical work would be happening, so he doesn’t worry about her particular brand of nosiness. He takes his phone out of his pocket and tilts the screen so she can see it.

“My texts didn’t send,” he tells her in a low voice. “We weren’t actually, you know.” he flushes violently.

Mira shoots him a grin. “No, I guessed that something had happened. It was just funny. You look nice.”

He smiles at her, genuinely, which means his gums are probably showing. She looks nice too, in her little black dress with a flared skirt and combat boots. The neon green streaks in her hair glow in the weird light of the house.

“I like your outfit,” he says. The din in the background is starting to grow. More people have probably showed up.

She nods at his jeans. “Cuffed jeans. The true mark of a bisexual.”

Kai nods very seriously. “I can’t leave my house without announcing every aspect of my sexuality to the entire world.”

Adam’s talking to a group of people at the other end of the kitchen, his smile is blindly white in the pink light, skin pitched a shade darker, a stark difference against the glow of his white shirt. Staring, unable to look away, Kai steals Mira’s cup and takes a swig. It’s straight vodka, so Kai coughs immediately when it hits his tongue.

Mira laughs at him.

-

Group: party  🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: do any of u know anyone named travis montery

mirakat: no

lochnessa: No

abeaverdam: Nope!

humantorchkai: no

reever: nah

speedyskeet: fucking L lmao

speedyskeet: im kicking this fool out then

-

Kai’s wandering around, pleasantly buzzed from two Cherry 7-Ups with a tiny bit of vodka, looking for any familiar face. Mira and Reeve had abandoned him pretty much straight away, he’d left Adam alone in the kitchen, and he’s actively avoiding Vanessa. 

He stumbles around, moving his shoulders a bit in time with the music, his body gone languid and loose from the heat and the alcohol and the atmosphere.

His phone beeps at him again. He really hopes it's not Skeet checking with them before he bounces a guy again. It’s just Mira, he sees, when he’s fumbled his phone out of his back pocket. He has to squint to read in the pink light amid the thrumming bodies of people all around him.

Eventually, he escapes the crowd and heads down the stairs to the “game room” and finds another living room, with a soft white carpet and a couch in front of a big flatscreen. There’s a group of about a dozen kids, plus Kai’s friends, sitting on the carpet in a circle by the couch, with a beer bottle laying on a Monopoly game board. Kai blinks, the lights here aren’t fun colors, and everyone in the circle raises their arms and cheers when they see him.

He walks over to them. Mira grabs his arm and begins to drag him onto the carpet beside her. The group begins to chant.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

Oh, no fuck, Kai thinks, beginning to resist Mira’s grip on his arm. His drink is sloshing about, and Kai holds it away from his shirt and pants as he tries to reverse his crouch and pull his arm back. Skeet reaches up and confiscates the cup, downing the rest of it in one go.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

But he’s buzzed and his coordination is spotty, so when Adam reaches out with his hand and spins the beer bottle, Mira tugs once, hard, and Kai crashes onto the carpet, and the bottle spins,

and spins,

and spins.

And points the neck straight at Kai’s disheveled spot in the circle.

So, let’s revisit that cursed theory, shall we?

Kai looks at Adam, and Adam looks at him. He’s got that dopey half-smile on his face, and his pupils are blown wide, iris a thin gold ring around them. Kai knows when Adam’s drunk, or blackout, and he’s tipsy right now, just like Kai. And... oh no. But the kids in the circle are jeering, giggling delightedly.

“Uh,” Kai says.

Adam licks his lips, and Kai tracks the movement of his tongue helplessly. His eyes are moving on Kai’s face, like he’s cataloging everything, like he can’t keep them still. Kai’s mouth is very, very dry, and he misses having the cup in his hand.

“So, uh,” he says, and the tension buzzes even harder. “Is this, like, a kissing thing?”

Skeet grabs him by the arms and manhandles him up. Reeve and Vanessa grab Adam and start frogmarching them down the short hall toward some rooms and closed doors.

“No,” Skeet says, “This is more like a seven minutes in heaven thing.”

“Wait,” Kai says. Skeet reaches past him and opens a door. “Wait.” Skeet pushes him in, and Adam follows behind. “Wait.” The door clicks shut, then there's a clunk, then the sound of something heavy being pushed against the door.

Kai tries the knob, but it's locked. He jiggles it, but his muscles won’t cooperate and yank hard enough. Adam could probably break it open, but Kai has the vague thought of Vanessa’s parents and property damage, and underage drinking.

“Guys!” Adam yells. He pounds on the door with his fist. “Guys! This isn’t funny!”

But they don’t answer.

Evil. Mental note: make sure your friends aren’t evil next time.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Kai sighs, giving up on the door.

They’ll just have to wait out the seven-minute sentence. It’s simultaneously worse and so much better than the alternative. This way, Adam won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. But also: he won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. It’s a testament to how drunk all of them really are.

Kai turns, presses his back against the door, and slides down it, pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping his hands around his shins, and resting his cheek on his knee. He surveys the room. It’s small and dark, Kai doesn’t have the wherewithal to search for the light switch, but from what Kai can see it looks like a guest room no one ever uses and has accumulated with old junk. There’s a tiny window at the opposite wall that leads up to the lawn. Adam groans and drops onto the ground beside Kai.

The night is clear the moonlight is touching the window and peeking into the room. Adam’s shirt is glowing against his skin from the moonlight, his eyes a bright point in the semi-dark of the room. Kai locks eyes with Adam, and the tension from earlier crops back up tenfold.

This situation is... stupidly pointed. Kai’s pretty sure Reeve is the only person in the world who knows Kai thinks Adam is kinda hot, but he’d also have to be massively stupid to ignore the strain in their friend group lately.

Adam’s looking at him the way he does right before he reaches out to touch Kai’s hair, or brush his fingers against Kai’s freckles, or leans over to kiss Kai’s cheek. He’s looking at Kai like a hungry man, like he’s about to make the stupidest decision of his life and never look back. Kai can feel the pull of that look drawing him in, the temptation to run his hands against Adam’s chest, touching his shoulders or his mouth.

So Kai does the only thing he can think of.

“What did you think of that new Hey Arthur episode?”

Adam blinks at him. “Uh. You mean that kids show?”

Kai bites his lip and nods vigorously. 

Totally. Totally. Totally screwed.

-

reeb: [A video of Mira on the dancefloor among a huge throng of teens. The song in the background is completely drowned out by people attempting to sing along drunkenly. She’s grinding against Vanessa, who’s wearing Skeet’s sunglasses and drinking a mimosa with a cocktail umbrella in it.]

(Not sent !) kai: let us out of here!!! its been like 15 mins!!!! guys!!! dam’s phone is dead!!!!!

(Not sent !) kai: goddamn it COME GET US

(Not sent !) kai: NOTHING IS SENDING!!

reeb: lol wya we cant find dam either

(Not sent !) kai: YOU LEFT US IN THE BASEMENT

-

“Ugh,” Kai says, flopping back down onto the pillows beside Adam. At some point during their imprisonment slash debate on the ethics of twenty-three seasons of the same children’s cartoon, they’d moved from the floor to the twin bed. “I’m pretty sure they forgot about us.”

“Well, it’s been like thirty minutes. And they’re drunk.”

Kai’s starting to sober up. He has to pee, and his mouth tastes like cherry coughdrops. He stands up on the bed, bouncing a bit on the mattress. He reaches up and touches the seam of the window and the sill.

“What are you doing?” Adam asks, trepidation in his voice.

“Uh, escaping?” Kai says.

Kai presses his foot onto the upside down elliptical that’s propped precariously against an old wardrobe. He puts some of his weight on it, testing. Satisfied that it won’t give, Kai lifts himself up onto it, closer to the window, and pushes against the glass pane. The window opens out suddenly, making Kai wobble. The wardrobe groans.

“Careful!” Adam barks.

Kai glances back at Adam, his worried eyes watching Kai from the bed, sitting up on his knees in a half crouch. Kai sticks his head out the narrow window, then his shoulders, and manages to drag himself up and out.

He turns back around and offers his hand to Adam.

“Come on,” he says. “I’ll help you out.”

Adam climbs up onto the elliptical like Kai had, reaches his right hand to Kai’s left and uses his left to leverage himself closer to the window. The wardrobe and the elliptical make that sound again, like they’re scraping together.

“Hurry!” Kai says, afraid of the whole makeshift apparatus falling apart. Adam’s left palm slaps against Kai’s right and Kai pulls.

The elliptical falls over as Kai yanks Adam up, a great big crash resounding in the room they just escaped. Kai’s momentum and Adam’s weight makes Kai step back once, then twice, then his footing goes and he sprawls onto his back, Adam on top of him, in one big undignified heap.

Adam looks down at him. He looks more sober, too, like he hasn’t had much to drink. Kai should really be pushing Adam off of him. Or trying to sit up. But his hands are on Adam’s waist, and Adam’s looking at Kai’s face like he can’t quite look at anything else, and Kai cannot, for the life of him, break this moment.

Adam’s hands are on either side of Kai’s face, boxing him in. His breath puffs against Kai’s mouth over and over as he breathes shallowly. His eyes flick all over Kai’s face, and Kai’s thinking kiss me, please so hard he’s pretty sure NASA catches the brainwaves.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he says, voice soft and vulnerable, like Kai has the power to hurt him with whatever Kai says next.

Kai’s hands tighten on Adam’s waist. He’s thought about this a lot. Like, a stupid amount. Who doesn’t daydream about confessing to your crush? But Kai cannot dredge up any words to say. He’s dry, completely dry, and he can only think about how good Adam’s weight feels on him. He dips his eyes to Adam’s mouth and thinks This is where I kiss him, right? and Adam’s eyes slide shut as he leans in, towards Kai, and Kai loses his mind.

The backdoor opens, the sounds of the party spilling out into the night air, pink light washing over them. Adam scrambles off Kai so fast that he’s pretty sure he breaks the world record for speed, and stands up.

Kai props himself onto his elbows and squints at the silhouette in the doorway.

“Vanessa?”

“Oh my God, there you guys are!” she leans back into the house to yell, “Guys! I found Adam and Kai! They were fucking around in the backyard!”

“Hey!” Adam snaps indignantly. “You locked us in the basement! We had to escape!”

Vanessa rolls her eyes at them.

-

adam: hey uh

adam: sorry about what i said when i was drunk lol

adam: i didn’t mean it

-

Kai turns his phone off and stuffs it into his bag, frustrated. He hadn’t meant to not talk to Adam all weekend, he’d just needed to think things through, and then his dad had asked him to help paint the deck, and he’d had to finish up some code for robotics and time had kinda slipped away from him without really meaning to.

He hadn’t meant to ignore everyone else, either, but they weren’t in a Situation with Kai on Friday night, and he’s not in love with them, and they didn’t seem to mind so much. 

Kai had spent all weekend staring at the texts, in between being too busy to answer them, but he can’t figure out what to say back. He’d gotten them Saturday morning after the party, probably because he hadn’t stuck around long enough to be left alone with Adam again.

Kai had left because.

Well, because.

Because he feels played.

Is that it? He can’t tell. He just feels so hollow about it. Adam doesn’t mean to, Kai knows that, but it still feels like he’s being led on. Adam has kissed him once while black out and almost kissed him while tipsy and flirts pretty outrageously, and it’s all too much for Kai’s head, which is designed for building robots and lying to his English teachers.

So at lunch, instead of going to Mr Tucker’s room, he lets Freddie from Calc drag him to the auditorium to help build the drama department’s Spring play set.

He’s not avoiding anyone. He’s just... helping his friends.

Fuck.

-

reeb: ok i give

reeb: wtf is going on

kai: ?

reeb: don’t “?” me mfer

reeb: adam is sulking n shit and u’ve been sorta MIA

kai: i’ve been busy, sorry

kai: i am the captain of a team u know. its not personal. i’ll hang out with you guys soon

reeb: spidey sense says there is something u are not telling me

kai: i really do think your spidey sense is actually overactive bladder syndrome

reeb: [An image of the caveman spongebob meme.]

-

He’s in the library, sitting in his favorite spot nestled in the bookshelves, brow furrowed over The Great Gatsby, his English journal, the notes Hannah lent him, and the Sparknotes page for the novel, surrounded by every color highlighter and pen, just trying to get his homework done, when Adam ambushes him.

“You’re avoiding me,” he says, out of nowhere.

Kai jumps, sending his highlighters and books flying. Adam is standing above him, eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. He looks a little bit light a superhero, all righteous indignation at injustice, his muscles buldging slightly. You’re dead. Goodbye. his brain supplies.

“Holy shit,” he says, gathering his stuff back up slowly. “You scared me.”

Adam’s eyes soften. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

Kai shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

The silence hangs there as Kai avoids his gaze, reshuffling Hannah’s notes back into their correct order. He’s lost his page in the book, so he opens it to the middle and starts looking for the correct page number. There’s no sound in this corner of the library except for Kai’s over-loud breathing and the turning of pages.

Go away go away go away, Kai prays, wanting the world to end so he won’t ever have to face this moment. He thinks about the echo of Adam’s voice in his memory, Kai, look at me, the feeling of Adam’s weight in his lap, the ache Kai feels when he looks at Adam, and wishes that he could just stand up and run.

Adam clears his throat. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he says again, only this time it comes out more like a question.

Kai keeps his face as blank as possible, schools it into something politely curious unlike the shattered glass mosaic he feels like. “Am I?”

Adam rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says haltingly, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have... come on to you like that. It was inappropriate, and we were both drunk. And I didn’t mean it.”

Kai looks at him for a long moment. He can feel it, a rock on his chest, crushing him. He feels the ball in his throat, the hot prickle against the backs of his eyelids. “I know,” he says eventually. His voice comes out steady, even though he feels like he’s falling apart.

“So... we’re cool?”

Kai forces himself to nod. “Okay.”

“Really? Because I still feel like I fucked up somewhere here.” Adam takes his hands out of his pockets to open them, palms up, like he’s pleading. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

And it’s now or never. As much as Kai abhors the idea of talking about his feelings in the school library at 4 PM, as much as he wants to just lie through his teeth and stitch this all back up into one big internal bag of FUCK and pretend like nothing happened, he’d be leaving Adam hanging, and Kai’s not a dick.

He takes a deep breath. Then another one. He tries to channel his internal Reeve, but decides against it because Reeve’s kinda an asshole.

“I just... wish you did,” Kai says eventually. If he wasn’t himself, he’d slap him. Adam stares at Kai like he’d just spoken another language, like he’d just spat out part of a puzzle to piece together.

“Wish I did... what?” he asks slowly.

“Mean it,” Kai grits out, the words dragged from him. He feels ridiculous. This is stupid.

“Mean...?” Adam says, like he’s stupid. Kai scowls at him.

“Do you remember the St Eve’s party?”

Adam shrugs, looking helpless and confused.

“I drove you home that party. I drive you home every party. And every time we’re alone, you say that you like me, that you want me to go inside with you, that you think about me all the time,” Kai’s stomach is churning and Adam looks like he’s about to faint.

“I didn’t...”

Kai can’t hear him say it again. “And I know that you’re just drunk, and that’s just what you’re like when you’re drunk, but I just... I just wanted it to be true so bad. Part of me kept driving you home because I wanted you to be like that with me, part of me just wanted to pretend. But then you kissed me, and I just...” Kai makes a helpless gesture with his hands.

Adam licks his lips. He’s breathing a bit hard.

“...Fell apart,” Kai finishes.

Adam’s looking at him, wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look, pure panic. Kai’s fucked it up, ruined their friendship, destroyed their friend-group, and will probably be unable to look anyone in the eye for a very long time. 

Adam didn’t want to hear this. Kai should’ve just lied, shut it all up and let himself wither up inside. He should’ve avoided Adam harder, or refrained from falling in love with him in the first place. He should’ve just dated Jesse when she’d asked and made himself get over Adam.

 “How long?”

Kai blinks. “Huh?”

“How long have you wanted...?” he shrugs.

Ah. The million dollar question.

“Officially? Middle of junior year. If I’m honest with myself? Probably since middle school.”

Adam’s mouth opens and closes nonsensically. Kai asks God to strike him down, just so this can end, just so Kai can go back to trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Gatsby and Jay, just so Adam will stop looking at him like that, like Kai’s killed his puppy.

Adam drops to his knees in front of Kai.

“Okay. Since freshman year. And I’m a liar. I did mean it. I kept thinking, you know, maybe you’d like me back, because I could see you looking, but I just couldn’t make myself say anything. And I meant it. I mean it. I do. I want to kiss you.”

Kai swallows. He’s feeling that dangerous thing again, like there are snakes in his chest, or his feelings are in a bucket that’s about to overflow.

“Okay,” he squeaks out.

Adam leans down and fits their mouths together. It’s chaste, and Kai’s lips are a little bit chapped, and he didn’t close his eyes, but when Adam pulls back Kai smiles so hard his mouth hurts. 

And he leans up to kiss Adam, insistent, insistent, tasting Adam without Hennessy whiskey (and he does taste fantastic), and something electric happens to Kai’s spine when their tongues touch. He feels like he’s going to burn up, burst into stars, create a fissure in the earth that goes down to the core, or all three at once.

Adam licks along the roof of Kai’s mouth and yeah - that’s the one thing he’d like to never, ever, ever forget.

He’s about to be totally, totally, totally screwed. 

-

Group: dandilyin hoes MFERsssss!! skeet DONT CHANGE CHAT NAME

mirakat: omfg

mirakat: k & a suckin face in library

mirakat: [A blurry creeper picture of Kai pressed against the bookshelves, Adam leaning over him. Their silhouettes are blacked out against the sunlight streaming in through the window, so they almost look like one body. It’s taken at an angle and half of a wooden shelf is in frame.]

speedyskeet: arent they in this GC too

lochnessa: Lmfaaooooooo

speedyskeet: they r gonna see this.....

reever: WTF ADAM’S INTO KAI???

reever: ?????

lochnessa: What planet do you live on

speedyskeet: fuckin jesus christ reeb

locknessa: Literally no one knew KAI was into Adam. EVERYONE KNEW ADAM WAS INTO KAI

reever: WHY AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW STUFF

mirakat: s2g i tld u this whn we were @ fortescue’s u nvr listen 2 me

-

“I hate them all,” Kai announces.

Adam looks up at him from where his head is pillowed on Kai’s thighs, Pride and Prejudice held aloft. 

“Don’t worry, I set all their ringtones to Maroon 5.”

send me a ship + a prompt and i’ll write you a drabble!

[v-mundi]

Thar be dragons! Metalseadramon and Seadramon were re-posed by my lovely fianceé, Danielle and she’s also my art and design partner for this project. Snakes are super hard to fit in a square frame. You basically have a couple tricks you can do. There’s the S-shape as seen by Metalseadramon (and old Seadramon). Those old arts were just screenshots of DMO (Digimon Masters Online) cut out by someone, so not great. You have the C shape as Metalseadramon DATA and Seadramon above (C-dramon...?). And you have the corkscrew shape not pictured here. There are more but we are sticking to ones that still give good model visibility through perspective.

That DATA card is a preview for the upcoming TOY set, which has some heavy Dark Masters themes. It’s only appropriate that we rework the design of Metalseadramon as well. In fact, all the Dark Masters will now be present and upgraded. I’ve previously shown off the upcoming TOY set with Fakedrimogemon, so...go digging for it ;D

If you play the game, you may have noticed this DATA has “Any Support Phase” instead of just Any Phase. That’s a change that’s coming down the pipeline for many DATAs. There’s some logic errors with certain effects being literally any time you want them. Confining effects to the Support phase will bring a bit more importance to the choice of playing the card. For example, if you could play this “Any Phase”, then you could wait till the Battle Phase when attacks are revealed before throwing down Triangle to 0. Since this game is based a lot on wagers and bluffing, that goes against the spirit of the game and provides a disgustingly easy shut-down as a hand trap. I do not like hand traps. That concept is from Yugioh and means cards being played directly from hand in response to something, with no indicator that your move will trigger this awful response. Their existence usually leads to hand control, which is a death spiral for metagames. Once people are trying to remove and control each other’s hand, they’re trying to stop the other person from playing the game as hard as possible and that’s no fun for anyone. So just one word makes the difference in an entire game’s death spiral.

For Seadramon and many other cards, I’m trying to make it so mixing types is less punishing. During the base release of the game, there wasn’t a lot of actual support for cross-type decks. The ones that you could make would be creative and good, but limited due to type-limited effects. Ultimately, most of them sought out to make the most broken combos possible which is a nightmare to balance and anticipate. Now that the game has existed for about 5 years, I have some experience with what players are actually abusing or not. I’ve tried replacing most of them with comparable conditions that type has no problem making but others might have to bend over backwards to get. Clever girl.

Lastly we got EBEmon or as the contest winner that created it said “Vademon Kai”. Again, all done up nice and neat by Danielle. If you’re wondering why there’s proportionally way more art from her lately than me, it’s not because I don’t have time. It’s because she’s way faster and better at this than me. She can usually do 3 to 4 poses in the time it takes me to get one right. We actually figured out that brown xenomorph bubble on its head isn’t just a Freiza reference, it’s supposed to be translucent and contain a long brain. No thanks. So...as it’s a rebuilt mecha Freiza...I mean Vademon, I wanted to do some cool stuff with the errata. Originally, it would get a DNA to increase the use of Omekamon’s effect, but instead I realized this is unnecessary since almost every Enigma Level U or M is getting one. So I stuck to the path. Forget DP -20 cost reductions, those are boring. Let’s remove the concept of your own hand size while you have access to draw 2! :D And I buffed every one of its “response probes” in the Passives section. They were all pretty good, since it’s not really a question of if an opponent will do these things but when. But more importantly, you don’t get to choose which ones happen. It’s completely dependent on what effects your opponent has (except the draw). So instead, it has a built-in Attack Chip and Recovery Floppy. Yay! The x3 VS was also reworked. We have cute little element names for each combination of types. When something has an attack that gets powered up versus something else, we give it x3 VS [that thing] mixed from our types, as if they were elemental blocks. Marine + Nature + Metal is “Grand” and refers to planetary things. EBEmon’s gun is a Planet Destroyer. Oh no.

Anyway, enjoy the new art and card preview!

[isobel-thorm]

2019 in Fic

Tagged by @starsandskies love you uwu

Favorite fic you wrote this year:  Blood Dragon 1 and a 1/2. Though the Formerly New Years fic with Grant, Nic and @amistrio‘s Matthew putting John on blast is shaping up to be a fun ride, and technically I wrote some of it on New Years Eve so it counts. 

Least favorite fic you wrote this year: The main one I can think of is Blood on My Name. It’s not bad/I don’t hate it, but I was already like... four chapters in before I realized that for bunker fics you absolutely need a solid plot and I... didn’t have one for the bunker/what’s supposed to be the main brunt of it, and that’s why its suffering now. 

Favorite line/scene you wrote this year:

Haven’t gotten that far in the published part, but in one Last Line Memes for the fake dating AU I have that bit where John’s dealing with Nic’s father for her and her mother and her dad asks him who he is:

 “Me? I’m the monster you should’ve been weaving stories about to your daughter at night instead of beating the shit out of her mother in the next room.”

Also, another Last Line meme thing whose fic didn’t get published yet: 

“Robin Hood and Maid Marian, he’s coming your way. Get ready to tail,” came Cameron Burke’s voice.

“Robin Hood and Maid Marian?” Nicolette Raylan muttered into her mic from her spot right beside him. “Do we really need the codenames? Is this your attempt at bonding again, Burke? Because you’re past the New Guy stage.”

“I don’t mind being called Robin Hood,” John cut in.

“She’s Robin Hood. You’re Marian,” Burke corrected.

John shut his mouth firmly and tried to drown out Nicolette’s answering cackle.

Total number of words you wrote this year:  ~140,000

Most popular fic this year: On AO3: My Way, though technically I published in 2018, most of it was in 2019. Not including that, Blood on My Name. On here: We’ll Meet Again, where me, the Anti Angst Queen, went and got angsty and y’all were very mad. 

Least popular fic this year:  On AO3:  Going off of AO3′s stats where it’s the least popular of the top 5: Helpless. Which personally makes no sense to me, but hey, that’s the style of digging I wanna do currently.  On here: Two little Johnnic ficlets were tied. One where he’s trying to convince her to stay in bed and not go to see Joseph, and John/Nic/Sharky where Sharky was off adventuring with Hurk and they welcome him home . Actually I’m sure the Mafia 3 ones were less popular but I have no idea how I tagged them.

Longest completed fic you wrote this year: My Way, though again, not counting that one, Home, at  4834 words. Because what is this “completed” of which they speak?

Shortest completed fic you wrote this year: That same little “John’s a needy lil shit and wants his wife’s attention focused all on him and not his brother” bit

Longest WIP of the year: Blood on My Name

Shortest WIP of the year: I’ve got an unpublished soulmate AU in the works at about ~700 words so far. 

Favorite character to write about this year: John Seed. Or lbr my gal Nic. Though Cal’s fun too. Is just saying “the Raylans” as a unit cheating? 

Favorite writing song/artist/album of this year: Andy Grammer still owns my ass and I’ve written to / had fics based on a good chunk of his discography. 

A fic you didn’t expect to write: Never thought I’d actually do a soulmate AU and yet here we are. Also, forgive the sudden fandom switch but I didn’t expect to EVER breathe life back into my Bitten fic from like... four or five years ago but then y’all finally discovered Jeremy Danvers. It only took y’all two years too long. 

Fic(s) you completed this year: My Way, random oneshots, We’ll Meet Again, Home, etc. I played it safe and kept a lot of stuff short and sweet and all my WIPs suffered, but that’s because I’m an idiot who bites off more than they can chew all the time. 

Fics you’ll continue next year: Blood on My Name, the Tremors AU, the Fake Dating AU, the Soulmate AU, Flu Season 2, that one... US Marshals AU. A L L  T H E   A U s

Current number of WIPs: I’m afraid to look tbh. 

Any new fics to start next year: I mean it’s not ‘start start’ but as mentioned there’s that soulmate AU I want to actively get going with instead of jotting a couple of things down. I wanna try my luck at more than one Gatthew fic but we’ll see. 

Most memorable comment/review:  Again, around the start of the Fandom Drama I Was Unknowingly Involved In That I Only Had an Inkling Was Going On, I had started to sense that people had started to hate Nic/the content I had for her and I was feeling super low about a lot and I threw one of the ficlets up on AO3 or whatever for shits and giggles, someone commented “Yay! Nic’s back!” and I honest to God cried happy tears. Also, general shouting in Discord/jokes about John not deserving Grant OR Matthew somehow giving birth to the Good Ship Gatthew and I love it to pieces. 

Events you participated in this year:  Far Cry 5 Week, and the Secret Santa my discord server is doing. 

Fics you wanted to write but didn’t: Christmas/New Years Eve Gatthew, the Johnnic wedding, and like... three different John/Nic/Sharky smut ideas. 

Favorite fic you read this year/ A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read : The entire series of @amistrio‘s Let the Redeemed of the Father Tell Their Story. I will never shut up about this series, ever, because I love it so much. It’s basically New Divide’s soulmate because it’s the same concept, but gay and also with far superior writing, no, I don’t take criticism, don’t boo me, I’m right. And then comes the No Cult AU for them,   all these blessings shall come upon you (and overtake you). Then comes @chyrstis’  But if we go, we go together John/Hana/Sharky perfection, because solidarity. Hana’s perfect, and the other stuff with Hana in it is just as perfect. 

Number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year: See last again. I really don’t use the bookmark feature for anything. 

Favorite fanfic author of the year: (deep breath) @amistrio @chyrstis @seedlingsinner @seedsplease @geronimo-11 @josephseeds-rosary @jackalopestride @teamhawkeye @foofygoldfish I love you all and your work dearly and I would literally die without both. 

[asexualsims]

Hiya folks, and welcome to this first episode of House Building 101! Today I’ll be talking about floor plans: where to find 'em, how to choose ‘em, and what to avoid.

Because this sucker’s gonna be real long, it’s gonna live below the cut.

Lesson #0.A: Get to know your architectural styles

This will make finding floorplans 1000% easier. Most floor plan sites have an option to search within certain styles. When you have a specific design in mind, it kind of sucks when you have to dig through 300 pages of plans just to find the type of house you’re looking for.

Lesson #O.B: Use the “narrow your search” function!

This goes with 0.A above. These websites have thousands upon thousands of plans. For the love of god, don’t just choose a category and go through it by hand. I mean, maybe you have a hundred hours of free time per day.  If so, be my guest.

Lesson #O.C: Understand the little things about build/buy mode.

Know that diagonal roofs are impossible to work with and that basements under foundations can be tricky. Realize that dormers lead to weird room shapes unless done correctly and that...you know what, most of this stuff has to do with roofs and basements. Just familiarize yourself with the ins-and-outs of those two categories, and you’ll be fine.

All right, now that the basic ideas are out there, let’s get started.

Lesson #1: Understand the lot type you are working with.

Don’t choose a plan with a walk-out basement if you are working on a flat lot* (those only work with slanted lots!). Don’t choose a plan with 10 bedrooms if you are working on a 20x30 lot. And so on. I’ve included a Handy Dandy Chart of Appropriateness to help you out:

Obviously there are exceptions to this chart that have to do with things like bedroom size/yard size. You are the judge of your own house, so it’s ultimately up to you and what you want. One exception I will point out is the number of garage ports for a 64x64 lot: If you have more than one garage, you can have more than two ports. But in general, anything above 2 garage doors per garage looks really bad in-game.

*unless of course you are converting a walk-out basement to a regular basement.

Lesson #2: Understanding what does and doesn’t work in game.

Alright folks, buckle up here because I’m going to throw a scenario at you.

Say you've narrowed your search down to two plans:

Plan 1:

Plan 2:

Let’s examine each plan and see what works and what doesn’t, shall we?

Plan 1:

Ah, see that staircase? The game does not come with a staircase like that. There are a few options to fix this:

Use a CC staircase (there are ones like this out there)

Substitute with a straight staircase or a spiral staircase

Choose a different plan

Obviously, #3 is not ideal. #1 and #2 are both good options, but may result in some need to rework the second-story floor plan. Personally, I’d go for a straight staircase here. Because the den needs to be 4-5 units long, a staircase would fit nicely against the wall of the bathroom:

(Yes officer, I do my edits in MS Paint.)

And look! The top of the new staircase is pointing east, just like the top of the old one. Minimal finagling, yay!

Another problem with this plan is the garage. If the house has no foundation, yay! All good. But if it does, a) you need to know how to build a garage on a house with a foundation (tutorial) and b) there will need to be a way into the garage. Luckily, see that door that leads into the mudroom? There is plenty of room to build a small staircase an and “indoor porch”, if you will, that will allow sims to exit the mudroom onto the “porch” in the garage, and descend into the garage from there.

Or you can just ignore this problem entirely, if realism isn’t your thing.

Let’s move on to Plan 2:

Ah yes the scourge of every floor plan... U shaped stairs. 

But Avian, you say, Can’t you just replace these stairs like you did the other ones?

Yes, and no, hypothetical reader. You see, you can of course change anything you wish. But if I were, say, to place straight stairs where those are, the top of the stairs would be pointing north, not east, as these do. This of course means that the second-story floor plan will most likely have to be redesigned. 

Although that will most likely happen anyway. But more on that later.

Another issue here is the “MECH room” and that tiny closet in between the foyer and office. There are many tricks you can do to create little spaces like these, but if you don’t want to include them they are small enough to ignore.

So in the end, both floor plans are fairly solid, and can be translated in-game with little finagling. But what things would definitely pose a problem? Well, here’s a Handy Dandy List of Problematics:

U-shaped stairs

Giant walk-in closets (they just take up space! Only add them if you really want to)

Rounded walls

Diagonal rooms (they are possible, but are they work the effort? I say no)

Houses with huge “Great Rooms” (too much empty space that is impossible to fill)

“Bonus rooms” above the garage or somewhere similar (they won’t work in game)

Houses where they look like they’re only one story but it turns out there is a small upper story because the second story just wont fit in-game in the same way it does in the photo dammit

Lesson #3: Size is everything

sorry not sorry

Yeah so... The most important part about using a floor plan is translating it into a similarly-scaled house in-game. This means looking at a plan and realizing how many units each room should be. Unfortunately, this is one of those things that can’t be taught as well---you practice, and after a while you either get it or you don’t. My best advice is, use your judgement. I believe in you.

Here’s an example of how I would translate Plan 1:

(It’s not quite to scale, obviously, and I made the assumption that the stairs will be replaced with straight ones)

Everything is approximately big enough for what it needs to hold, which is something to be aware of. In fact, I’ve assembled another Handy Dandy Chart of Units to help you out with proper sizing:

Be aware of size. Size is very important. oh god why did i use that phrase again

Lesson #4: Finagle, finagle, finagle. 

Finagling. (fi-nay-gull) n. 

1. Using trickery or craftiness to achieve one’s aims. 

So you’ve already seen multiple times that things must be replaced, removed, reduced, recycled during housebuilding. Yeah. I don’t really have much to say here. Just be like Tim Gunn and make it work. 

Lesson #5: Good sites to use

Eplans.com

Architectural Designs

Southern Living

Dreamhomesource.com

Floorplans.com (how original)

Antique Home

Recap: Walkthrough

Alright my pretties let’s review what we’ve learned. 

Use "narrow your search” whenever you search for plans.

Choose the correct number of rooms and bathrooms for your chosen lot size.

Don’t chose a plan with anything you can’t make in-game.

Make sure you translate the floor plan to the correct sizes in-game.

Make it work.

Now go have fun!

(This has been Housebuilding 101 with Avian. Tune in sometime in the future for a topic Avian will think of at some point before then.)

[shanyakulasekara-mga2019mi4014]

scene building

so for the scene building, i started off by making the base terrain which like the makeup bag is a plane that is deformed and i used imported the grass and the particle system with the material and uses the weight paint to add the grass and i did that for the mesh grass and the grass grass and then i added some plants here and there which i imported and added the materials this stuff is getting really easy like muscle memory  and then i made a cylinder unwrapped it and appended the tree trunk material and made them tree trucks and i positioned my camera so that i have a clear view of the pads which i placed into the scene and i took that one cylinder and duplicated and scaled it appropriately to cover the edges and 

the scene looks decent but now for a very important a cool thing to add the danger signs and all that fences and the caution tape. so i forgot to mention i added my usual lighting system with the sun and the big plans that cover the light. so for the next part, i need to fins signs and make signs that show danger so i headed straight to cg texture to find these signs  and i found way more than enough in addition to that i looked into some rust texture alphas so i can use that separately for the signs to create that extra detail. these are the signs I used 

and i started off by modelling the quite geometry and i am gonna take the. first one as the example because i basically copied that whole method for the rest off the signs. so i started off with modelling the shape and to do that i used a plane and then had the sign as the background image and modelling on top and then extruding it a little bit and then making the seams at the two edges so i can have a texture for the front and the back and adding on more seam at the thin corner so that the unwrap works properly 

then I duplicated the shape and added new loop cuts so that i can create the frame on the back and then afterwards i took the unwaraped uvmap from the sgn and put it on to photoshop and added some rust textures on top 

this is the unwrapped and then i put it on photoshop and then added the textures so now it looks like this

the extra rust added is basically separated so that I can create the displacement and the material better 

and these are the rust materials i made as you can see the colour is there and then the bump and then the mask and also if u notice in my bump i have the rust set to a darker colour to make sure that its an indentation and now for the materials guys keep in mind i made this and every other road sgn the same way

so for the material i obviously started of with a mix shader and then added two glossy shaders to it and then made one glossy shader have a high roughness. wait imma show it so its easier to understand when i speak about it 

so here we basically have the top glossy shader to have the colour of the regular road sign with the rust and that image texture has the input texture coordinates as the vector and then there is another image texture connected through the bump node and it is the bump texture for the shader and the bump node is connected to both glossy shaders as well the image texture is connected to both glossy textures colour input and the second glossy shader which is the bottom glossy shader and the main reasons i have that os for the layer weight to work with the material and give it that metallic shine and also for this scratches texture i wanted to add and that is basically this seamless scratches texture

and i added that using texture coordinates and a mapping note so i can scale to my liking and i added it to the signs glossy roughness and i inverted it so that reflections work the way i want and the scale on the mapping node to a scale of five in all three axises

the final render for this is

bam it looks pretty neat and the rust has worked just the way i like it including the bumps and all that okay now for the break down on the middle pipe that holds the sign which is basically used for the fence also so to make that i just took a cylinder  stretched it to the right length and then i marked the seams to start unwrapping i in drew around the top circle as one seam and then the bottom as the other and the one line from the back as the finle scene to create this uv map

so now i have this material i want ot add but the colours i am not feeling it so i did this before but again i would have to use a coloramp and the texture is this

and now for the material so 

i started off with a mix shader and then added a defuse to the top slot and an anisotropic to the other one the diffuse is basically the rusted parts and the anisotropic for the not rusted parts. and to create the mask i added the bump version of this texture through a layer weight and then connected the layer weight to the factor of the mix shader and then one the diffuse shader i added the image texture with a colour ramp where i messed around with some colours to get the look i wanted and changed the flags around and rn its like this

and then for the bump texture i went and took the same bump texture, i used for the mask and added it through a colour ramp to get the levels right and connected it to both the diffuse and anisotropic normals through a bump node  

and now the finale render off that pole 

and yay we got one sign now lets repeate it a cople of times and get all the signs done

five days later

okay now for the wire mesh fences so for that i used a cylinder to create the frames of the fences and then for the mesh i went and made a small portion and then array modified the whole fence and the cool part is i can just   use the texture i used for the poles so and moves it a bit in the uv map editor and the pattern is new and random and the mesh was made using a curve that i moded using this as the base

and then changing it a mesh and array modification on it so it covers the whole fence and then apply it and unwrap your uvs projected from front view so i can create random material textures and a few hours of work later we have this mesh fence 

now its time for the cations tape. so the caution tape i just made a plane and scaled it down the y axis and then placed it a little high went onto edit mode and subdivided the plane about 20 times and then unwrapped projected from view and then put it as a cloth simulation and changed the pads packet and the floor as collisions duplicated it a few times and then played the animation and after it reached its nice limit i saved the shape

for the material i took the uv unwraps and went onto photoshop and painted it in to look like this and then on the material just added it through a glossy shader color and yeah caution tape my dude caution tape okay so now lets put all of these together and we have the lants the tree bark the pads the signs the fences the lighting and some other stuff i might forget to mention but. i forgot the atmosphere so for that i added s cube i scaled it and then subdivied it and thne moved it and deformed it and finale create this pdd shape and appended the mist from my make up bag scene and tweaked the position just a bit and i got the atmosphere 

the wireframe is the mist and now for the render

and we have this omg right  now its my favorite scene sooo cool you guys

[prfm-uk]

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well (Filled Out)

@southeastasyano wanted me to completely fill out these 100 questions and a bonus one, and an anonymous asker wanted me to answer just a few. So here ya go! Go on and stalk me, young ones.

For the questions below the cut, I tag: @southeastasyano, @fukigen-na-boy, @prfm-au, @prfm-us, @housekinoame, @cosmog-explorer, @jenmarii, @chrism-sol, @p-r-f-m, @securitylucy, @a-chan-san and @jeffhardys!

What is your middle name? I never use it on my passports or regularly, but I do have a middle name. But I don’t wanna say it >///<

How old are you? I am currently 17 years old!

When is your birthday? June 24th!

What is your zodiac sign? Cancer (yes, I’m that mentally unstable b*tch)

What is your favorite color? Green all the f*cking way!!

What’s your lucky number? 3

Do you have any pets? I had two fish, but they died when I was 11 :’(

Where are you from? While I was born in London, United Kingdom, my family originates from Sri Lanka

How tall are you? I am 6 foot 1 inch.

What shoe size are you? I am only UK size 7.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? I own only five pairs of shoes.

What was your last dream about? It was a dream in which my best friend committed suicide... Yeah, it was grim, and was more of a nightmare :(

What talents do you have? I am pretty good when it comes to learning foreign languages, and I play piano maybe kinda semi-decently well? I can also do that thing where I can show the red bit inside my eyes, and I can fit my whole fist in my mouth.

Are you psychic in any way? Ask @prfm-us

Favourite song? ‘New Americana’ by Halsey or ‘I Know Places’ by Taylor Swift or ‘Warm Blood’ by Carly Rae Jepsen...

Favourite movie? It would have to be ‘The Emoji Movie’

Who would be your ideal partner? James Wright <3 Well, he is my bf so, um, yay?

Do you want children? Yup, I’d love to see my kid go through life and me be like “ha, I remember when I went through that shizz”

Do you want a church wedding? Well, I’m a Buddhist and I don’t know how they do weddings, so I guess I’d be fine with a civil ceremony of sorts..?

Are you religious? Not at all, and I’m not really sad about it either.

Have you ever been to the hospital? So many f*cking times, honestly. Some weren’t as bad, whereas there is one in particular that will always be my worst ever day alive.

Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope, I’m pretty submissive with the law, I’m too scared of punishment haha

Have you ever met any celebrities? When I was in primary school, I was chosen to go meet the Queen and that was pretty cool. We gave her like this bouquet of flowers and she didn’t seem very appreciative. (Just kidding, I love you, Lizzie)

Baths or showers? I prefer baths, but I always have showers because otherwise I might never come out.

What colour socks are you wearing? I’m wearing black socks which say “Thursday” in green font. And yes, it is Thursday where I am, my OCD is too much.

Have you ever been famous? Well, Kyary tweeted my video once and I f*cking YELLED, but no, I’m pretty irrelevant!

Would you like to be a big celebrity? No haha, I wouldn’t be able to handle that much attention to be honest.

What type of music do you like? Electropop, I guess is what it is. I also like modern 80s pop (does that make sense) and also EDM.

Have you ever been skinny dipping? No, haha, I think that just isn’t a very common thing in Britain.

How many pillows do you sleep with? Just one, under my head.

What position do you usually sleep in? I sleep like a fetus does in the womb. Enjoy that mental image.

How big is your house? 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Not amazing, but my family is somewhat well-off.

What do you typically have for breakfast? Basic cereal, generally.

Have you ever fired a gun? Yup, I spent a short while in my school’s combined cadet force before deciding that it wasn’t for me.

Have you ever tried archery? No, I think I have terrible hand-eye co-ordination anyway haha

Favorite clean word? If you mean normal, random word, then my favourite is kumquat.

Favorite swear word? My favourite swear word on it’s own is c*nt because I love how it rolls off the tongue, it just sounds like pure spite. In an insult, definitely f*cknut or f*cktard is a common resort for me.

What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 4 days, powered by a coffee each day. And I wasn’t even tired, people basically forced me to have coffee.

Do you have any scars? I have one on my leg from a surgery where they put a metal screw in my hip to make sure that it grew straight (well I didn’t turn out straight, but my leg did). Also, I still have a few old ones on my thighs and wrists...

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Ahahahahahaha, as if anyone would go to that effort over someone like me.

Are you a good liar? If I do say so myself, yes, I am. Or was I lying there?!?!?!?!

Are you a good judge of character? Ask @prfm-us

Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do an LA valley accent..?

Do you have a strong accent? I have a strong British accent, and then I have a semi-strong Essex accent layered on top, so words like “fam” and “lit” just sneak their way into my speech.

What is your favourite accent? Canadian and Australian are my favs!!

What is your personality type? Unstable, but caring..? <3

What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have a £45 tie that someone gave me as a bday gift. Yes, I don’t get spending tons on clothes...

Can you curl your tongue? I can do it into a U shape and that weird W shape thingy.

Are you an innie or an outie? Innie. Is this really helpful information to you?

Left or right handed? Right handed!

Are you scared of spiders? DON’T GET ME STARTED. I get terrified of the world’s smalliest spiders and I will legit scream and chuck my phone across the room and everyone else will just be confused.

Favorite food? Profiteroles..?

Favorite foreign food? Um, maybe, poutine? Tim Horton’s? Basically I love Canada.

Are you a clean or messy person? Clean, always clean. I cannot function in a messy environment.

Most used phrase? “I put the SAD in Social Anxiety Disorder”. Yes, I am too real sometimes.

Most used word? Well, it’s probably “the”, “a” or “lopsided”

How long does it take for you to get ready? Literally around ten minutes.

Do you have much of an ego? I mean, I don’t have a shred of self-confidence, so no..?

Do you suck or bite lollipops? I don’t know what this shows about my gay self, but I suck... yeah.

Do you talk to yourself? When I’m intensely lonely or need to calm myself down.

Do you sing to yourself? All the time. I cannot listen to any music without dancing and/or singing to it.

Are you a good singer? Hell no!

Biggest fear? Losing those who are closest to me. Oh, and f*cking spiders.

Are you a gossip? Nope, I guess i’m just not in that circle.

Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? I can’t name the best I’ve ever watched, but I recently watched a British-made film called “I, Daniel Blake” and I really liked it.

Do you like long or short hair? Short hair.

Can you name all 50 states of America? No, I’m British.

Favourite school subject? German or Physics!

Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 100%

Have you ever been scuba diving? Yup, I’ve been in Sri Lanka

What makes you nervous? The dark and silence.

Are you scared of the dark? Oh, I just accidentally answered that. Yes, I am.

Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only when it’s appropriate, I don’t want to bother people!

Are you ticklish? VERY ticklish! If you touch my neck, I’ll be on the floor in a few seconds.

Have you ever started a rumour? No haha I’d get baited out so quickly.

Have you ever been in a position of authority? I was an editor for my school newspaper? I mean, it wasn’t that thrilling at all

Have you ever drank underage? In the UK, the legal drinking age is 18, I’m 17, and although I’ve never gotten hammered or drunk vodka and stuff like that, I have had very light alcohol for the taste!

Have you ever done drugs? God no, and I intend never to!

Who was your first real crush? Ugh, it seems so immature when I see it now, but there was this cute guy called Josh in my class who kept paying so much attention to me, so I asked him out, and he was like “How’d you know I was gay? Oh, and I’m not interested”. Yeah, I cried that night haha

How many piercings do you have? None!

Can you roll your ‘R’s? I can <3

How fast can you type? Around 75 words-per-minute (I used an online typing test just now!)

How fast can you run? I think I run pretty slow! In school, I was just average, in the middle, but I’m not going to be winning any fun-runs :P

What colour is your hair? Jet black, but any other colour would look out out place on my brown skin :D

What colour are your eyes? A relatively dark brown, but they are still visibly brown in the sun.

What are you allergic to? Nothing, as far as I know :)

Do you keep a journal? I keep a kinda mood tracking thingamajig through an app called ‘Pacifica’. It’s great for anyone tackling stress or any mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc. But other than that, I don’t keep a journal as such, no.

What do your parents do? My father is a physiotherapist, and my mother is a fraud investigator; she works for the government to find people who are illegally claiming benefits.

Do you like your age? No, because it’s too ‘in the middle’! If I was below the age of 14, I’d be able to relax and be pretty carefree, and if I was above the age of, say 25, I wouldn’t be studying random crap that will never come up in the future and will actually be doing worthwhile things. Instead, I’m 17 and I need to study stuff that won’t come up even in my degree, and it’s almost impossible to find motivation right now.

What makes you angry? People making mistakes when I literally warned them not to; they were just that f*cking ignorant.

Do you like your own name? Some people know, but no, I don’t like my name. I feel like it just sounds a weird, so whenever I tell someone my name, I always include some disclaimer like ‘Oh, it’s a weird Asian name’.

Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Nope, I haven’t thought of any! I mean, unless I name my kids Dan and Phil...

Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Call me sexist, but I want a boy!

What are you strengths? I can fit my whole fist in my mouth, and I’m pretty good at languages.

What are your weaknesses? I’m quite sensitive and sometimes I get carried away with jokes.

How did you get your name? Well, my parents called over some kinda psychic name-giver as soon as I was born, and they’d use my star sign, read my palm and use God knows whatever info they could make up, and then name me based on it. That gave me ‘Yasath’, which I’m pretty sure means ‘treasure’ or something.

Were your ancestors royalty? No, but they were pretty high up in government jobs :]

Do you have any scars? That’s Question 39, so just refer back to that :3

Colour of your bedspread? It is white and brown. Hey, it’s like me! Sorry, bad joke.

Colour of your room? It has generic, textured cream (I think) wallpaper.

Does it ever get better? I like to think so, and it’s usually the only shred of hope I have left. But if you think it will never get better, then it won’t ever get better, because you won’t let it get better! So yeah, just have that small light at the end of the tunnel in mind whenever you’re starting to lose hope in yourself <3

Jeeeeeeez, that was long! I hope someone enjoyed that at least haha