#i buy nut butter and hope it's more butter than nut?????

[fazcinatingblog]

Adulting is when you can buy a loaf of bread with raisins and sultanas in it and cut off a bread roll-size hunk of it and have it for lunch and it's fine

[cordeliawhohung]

You created a monster in me with underboss!Simon and now you must take responsibility.

Please feed my new addiction with relationship headcanons 😩😩😩. I love him and Shy!reader.

i've created so many monsters y'all gotta stop biting at my ankles or at least start paying rent or smth <3 also i'm still trying to work out a lot of the dynamics of the relationship between them so this is still a little bare boned but i hope you enjoy!

mafia!141 masterlist <3

warnings: mostly fluff :3 simon is a bit of a prick lol, fem!reader,

just in case anyone missed it, this is how underboss!Simon and shy!Reader meet <3

it takes a brutally long time for the two of you to start dating. a brutally long time.

and it isn't for lack of trying on Simon's end. he manages to get your number somehow (i hear Soap is very tech savvy...) and asks you out the week after the dinner at John's house, only for you to decline.

which is fine. he can take rejection. but this is... different. you're too kind when you say no. you're not saying it because you think you're too good for him, you're saying it because of something else, and Simon can tell the difference but can't exactly tell what it is.

it drives him nuts for a long time. you were supposed to be just another number in his phone for a booty call. he's used to getting pretty much anything he wants, after all, but even then it shouldn't have bugged him as much as it did. maybe it was because he liked the way you looked at him. not with disgust. not with some lustful intention. you were... soft. kind, even.

as for you? you think it's crazy how this 6'4", ripped, and kind guy showed interest in you. you, someone too anxious for her own good, someone who said no because it was less scary than committing to something. and you hate yourself for rejecting him.

so in an effort to stay close to him, you text him pretty often. you send him pictures of things you see or run into during your day. something funny at work, a cool rock you found in someone's garden, the spider that decided to make its home in your shower. and sweetheart, you have no idea what you're doing to the poor man ):

this goes on for a long while. just simon being a stupid man, not wanting to push your boundaries after you already rejected him, and you being too anxious to fix things and ask him yourself.

eventually, by some miracle (that i might write more about later because like i said BARE BONES) the two of you get together. and it's... interesting. simon isn't really used to dating. like properly. he's used to buttering a girl up, going back to her place for a quick fuck, and then only seeing her whenever either of them are too bored and horny to function. but with you it's nothing like that at all. there's no sex on the first date, not even a damn kiss, and he finds himself craving you more than ever because of it. wanting to be around you all the time, wanting to hear about your day.

man is fucking obsessed.

he treats you like a princess. he only ever really spent his money on stupid shit but now he can spend it on you! you never ask for anything, but god forbid if you express that anything, be it clothes or otherwise, looks cute because he will buy it for you, no matter how awkward you are at receiving gifts.

also! because he's so big and somewhat brutish, no one fucks with you when you're in public together. annoying kiosk clerks trying to aggressively sell you something? one look from him and they're gone. someone messed up your order but you're too anxious to ask them to fix it? he's advocating for you.

because of him, you find yourself growing less afraid and anxious of things. he teaches you how to be brave, and you teach him how to be soft. there's nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for you <3

oh also btw he's in the mafia. he might have forgotten to mention that... hope that doesn't freak you out or anything. don't worry about the blood on his shirt or the bruises on his face or the cuts on his arms or... oh god you look like you're going to cry. it's nothing, sweetheart! promise! stop trying to take him to the hospital!

also, some sorta unrelated comments: i think shy!reader is def a hostess at a restaurant. i feel like simon would hang out at the restaurant too just to be around you. he'd also slip you a tip, even though you tell him you make hourly and don't depend on tips.

"consider it my way of saying thanks for sitting us at the table with the best view."

the view is you, btw.

AHHH i'm sorry this was such a mess? i have so many jumbled thoughts but i'm glad i was able to get some of them out and i hope they were somewhat enjoyable al;kdjf i'll be working on a short drabble/oneshot for him over the weekend, so i'm hoping that'll make up for this <3

[weridpersonhelp]

Casa Bonita 3

Description: Y/n friends are worried about her, and still worried about her gift ending up getting Kyle another gift! buy after Cartman ruins his birthday Y/n gives the boy a little Suprise to make him feel better.

Warning: bad spelling, not been proof read, swearing, shit talking, fluff sweet ending

________________________________________________

"Y/n you sure you're, okay?" Craig asks walking me to my locker, it's been 4 days now since butters has disappeared. I was more worrying mess, every day after school looking by the places he would normally be. hoping he would somehow turn up out of thin air.

"Yeah, I'll be fine craig you don't have to walk me everywhere. I can walk by myself." I say grabbing some things from my locker.

"Hey honey!" I hear Tweek crock voice shout as he hugs Craig, just seeing them makes me smile.

"Hey Y/n, you are doing alright?" He asks. me.

"Yeah, don't worry about me Tweek! does your family have any knew coffee flavours? " I ask him we continue to walk to class as he talks about the new coffees. we stop at my class.

"Okay where going to head to class see you at lunch.?"

"Sure, thing bye loser!" I say flipping him off he flips me off back as a goodbye and I enter class.

"Hey Y/n, what's up?" Wendy asks sitting next to me in butters normal seat.

"Oh, hey Wendy, alright, I guess. what about you?"

"Could be better, the student council is killing me honestly!" she chuckles I smile and nod along.

"I couldn't imagine being president, how do you do it?"

"Magic honestly! are you sure you’re okay Y/n?" Wendy asks again, I give her a small smile.

"I'm fine don't worry, a little worried about butter is all. Oh! I need your advice!" "is this still on the present Y/n? i though you would have given it too him already?" "yeah but he cancelled Casa Bonita when we found out butters was missing. I asked stan and Kenny what they go him and my gift kind a seems lousy compared to theirs."

"Y/n Have some confidents! the scarf is beautiful! it matches his outfit, it's his favioute colours, It's softer than any scarf I have ever seen! don't worry about how much money you spent on it. in all honesty Kyle's not going to care!"

"Yeah, thanks Wendy I needed some sense knocked into me!

"any time girlfriend!"

______________________________________________

"Hey Tolken! trade you my sweet and tangy chips for your salt and vinegar?"

"Hell yeah! I hate that stuff; how do you even eat it?" he asks me.

"How do you hate it is the real question." I say as we trade chips, Craig was holding tweak's hand as they began to eat their foods.

"H-hey Y/n s-s-something came in the m-mail for you." Jimmy says I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Deez nuts" we all laugh at Jimmy deez nut joke.

"Tweek would you rather eat a human sized bean, or a bean sized human?" I ask Tweek shoving my packet of chips towards him craig takes one.

"Oh GOD! is it a coffee bean?"

"it's whatever bean you want it to be."

"O-okay! I'd rather eat a bean.!"

"Nah dude, I'd rather eat a human the size of a bean" Tolken says.

"What?! YOU'D RATHER BE A CANNABALE!" Tweek shouts.

"m-m-me too I-'m not eating a h-human s-s-s-sized bean!" Jimmy agrees with Tolken which starts a whole argument. I look to my cousin flipping him off he does the same finishing off a popper of his.

"Here I'll put it in the bin, anyone got any rubbish?" I ask the group of boys. they all thank me and give me their rubbish I walk up to the bin putting it all in the right one's when I hear someone call for me.

"Hey Y/n"

"Oh, hey Kyle how are you?"

"I'm good I just wanted to ask how you did on your test?"

"Not so good, I barely passed I don't know how you do it honestly!"

" Don't worry! I only got an 83, not my best." I chuckle at his attempt to relate. to me.

"Oh my god! Kyle got below 90?! has the world ended?!" I make fun of him he glares at me a little before playfully rolling his eyes and he walks me back to the table.

"You know if you really need it, we could study together?"

"That would be awesome I just-" "Y/N GET BACK HERE JIMMY SEEING HOW MANY GRAPES HE CAN FIT IN HIS MOUTH!" Tolken yells out.

"WHAT SWEET ONE SECOND MATE! I'd love just text me the details bye-" "But I don't have your number..."

_____________________________________________________

Y/n had caved into her anxiety and brought Kyle something along with the scarf she made. It was a book of Minecraft the new game that Stan got. him.

"THIS IS THE GAME I WANTED! THANKS STAN!" Kyle rejoices at his friend's gift, Y/n felt her chest get heavier knowing after Kenny she was next. her palms where sweaty, chest is heavy, mum spa-

Y/n was actually so scared she was shaking, the two presents in hands. stan looks to her with worry.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, everything fine."

"Why are you nervous to give him the scarf?"

"Wait how did you-" "Thanks Kenny! this is super nice!"

"No problem!" it was now Y/n turn, it was time to know to pick which gift to give him.

"Here Kyle! I don't know if you will like it-" She hands him the bigger gift, the book. stan notices this, his draw drops slightly. why didn't she give him the scarf?

"Oh, a book on the game, cool thanks Y/n!" Kyle says, Y/n wasn't making eye contact with him though looking down at her feet.

"Alright kids let's get going!"

"YAY CASA BONITA CASA BONITA!" Cartman sings as they all walk to the car. But stan stick behind Y/n.

"Why didn't you give it to him he would have loved that way more than that book!" stan say as they get in the car.

"Hey that books to help him build stuff and how to kill stuff in the game! and because who am I kidding the scarfs lame!"

"No, it's not! Kyle would love it. it's a great gift! and you're going to give it to him when we get to Casa Bonita!"

"Yes sir!" your solute him, he gives you a small smile and you give him one back.

"You're going to love Casa Bonita stan! Y/n! there's this part where you can dress up in old western clothes. and get your photo taken in a fake jail!"

"Really?" stan asks the boy.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool." Kyle says cartman waves him. off

" "pretty cool"? so um, should we go to black Bart's cave first. or watch the puppet show? I think we should go through Black Bart's cave first because we're goanna want to do it seven or eight times."

"I think we should do what Kyle wants?"

"Yeah, it is Kyles birthday" stan says.

"What fuck Kyle!" the car goes silent at this, Y/n knew something was up Cartman didn't care about Kyle he just wanted to go to Casa Bonita. and after this is done, he'll go back to bullying him.

"HAHA JUST KIDDING BIRTHDAY JOKE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO YOU-" soon enough everyone goes along with Cartmans singing, Y/n looks down at her scarf and sighs while singing along with them.

after a couple minutes we make it to Casa Bonita, it was a giant pink place like structure Making Y/n jaw drop, it was very big a pretty cool building.

"WAIT UP ERIC WE NEED TO STICK TOGETHER!" Sheila calls out, Y/n look to stan then at Kyle as she tugs on his suit a little catching his attention.

"Y/n you excited?!" Kyle asks me..

"Umm actually I wanted to um-" "wait boys! and girl I'm getting a call.

Hello?

yes.

"Oh, THATS GREAT BOYS THEY FOUND BUTTERS! HE'S OKAY!" Y/n jaw drops and the biggest smile was on her face at this news, she let out an intense sigh of relief and a small smile came to her face.

"I knew he would turn up.!"

"Oh sweet!"

"I'm glad he's okay."

"What did you want to say Y/n?"

"well-" "Yes eric carman is with us why? oh really!" Sheila face turns sour we they all looked at cartman.

"What?"

"Yes, I will certainly let him know. thank you. Well, it seems that eric here is responsible for butters missing. because he wanted to go to Casa Bonita!" Sheila explains.

"What."

"You Are fucking cunt." Y/n mutters

"Eric the south park police are already on their way here. to have a little talk with you!" Sheila scolds the boy.

"But... Casa Bonita"

"I should have known better. You never cared about my birthday at all!"

"but stand back!" Cartman grabs Kyle holding him hostage.

"Cartman stop it."

"I am going to casa Bonita!"

"It's too late Fat-ass they'll be here in less than a minute."

"I swear to whatever god you believe in that I will beat your fat fucking lazy cunt of an ass up!" Y/n shouts pounding her fist with her hand, Cartman throws Kyle to the ground Y/n and Kenny quickly going to his side to help him up and like that you all give in chase to the boy, all around the place. when the police finally get him, Kyle could only sigh. we went back to the main entrance and got our table and sat down, we got back to celebrating Kyles birthday though something seemed off, Kyle was quiet and seem sad about the whole thing.

" Are you alright Kyle?" "Yes, it's just. I should of know better than to trust that fat-ass!"

"I'm sorry that Cartman ruined your birthday, Kyle."

"it's fine it's not your fault." Kyle says leaning on one hand, Stan nudges my shoulder and looks to my pocket and Kyle.

"Well, Kyle I hope you're okay with one more Suprise for the day."

"Huh?"

"Happy birthday Kyle." Y/n places a small rectangular box Infront of the boy, its ribbon was green the box was black.

"Y/n You didn't have too"

"Just open it already!" Kenny complains, Kyle does what his friend says and slowly opens the box to reveal stipes of orange and green. he picks the thing up only for it to dangle down. it was a scarf.

"I made it myself and made sure not to add the little puffy things you said that where annoying you with your other one. The material very soft as well you see-" "can you help me put it on?" Y/n smiles and helps Wrape the scarf around him helping him put it on, I could hear Kenny and stand giggling like little girls in the background.

"Thanks... I love it."

"wooow did you make that yourself, you're a very crafty girl Y/n."

"thank you ma'am!"

"let's dig in!'

"yeah!"

I could already feel the I told you so everyone will be screaming when I got home, but we enjoyed the rest of the night, eating so much Mexican food along with cake we all passed out.

"I swear to go if these two don't get together soon-" stan says on the car ride home, Kyle and Y/n laying on each other dead asleep.

"For real."

____________________________________

okay I'm done if you want head cannons or like an actually proper series then just ask fr.

tags @naeyonie @luujjvi @leedesu

[wilsons-hotlittleprettyboymouth]

Good morning! If you have trouble getting the spoons to cook filling healthy meals (or wash the dishes that come with them) let me teach you my favorite breakfast! It’s sweet and delicious and is made of entirely prepackaged foods that you can buy in large quantities!

Ingredients:

Yogurt - can be plain, greek, or almond. I use the Walmart brand vanilla yogurt as it’s cheap and mild flavored, and it has a really smooth texture that’s good for my autism.

Granola - my favorite is Bear Naked cacao & cashew butter granola, which can be found at most stores, including Walmart and Target. It’s sweet and healthy :)

Almond slices (optional) - I use toasted but untoasted is fine too depending on the textures you like. These add a nice mild crunch. They can be substituted for other nuts but I believe the flavor of almonds specifically compliments the other ingredients.

Sweetened dried cranberries - I use the Walmart brand reduced sugar ones because they taste just as good and are for some reason really high in dietary fiber in comparison to the fully sweetened ones! The chewy texture really balances out the granola crunch.

And whatever kind of honey you like best :)

And you just mix ‘em together however you like! I use about 3-5 heaped spoons of yogurt, two fistfuls of granola (I have tiny hands tho), sprinkle of almonds, sprinkle of cranberries, and a generous drizzle of honey on top. You can add ground cinnamon too, if you like! Just be careful if you get overwhelmed by or feel sick from too much sugar.

This recipe is especially good because only the yogurt is semi-rapidly perishable and refrigerated. Almonds and cranberries and honey come in huge bulk amounts that’ll last you months pretty much, and the granola keeps a long time if stored properly. If time & energy & access to grocery store isn’t a problem, you can add grapes, sliced strawberries, and blueberries!

Nutritional breakdown for your convenience :)

Yogurt - the kind I use is low-fat, so it’s medium sugar content and some protein. As well as good vitamin A and calcium.

Granola - high unsaturated fat, which is really super good for you and necessary in your diet because your body can’t synthesize it! Also dietary fiber, low added sugar, and contains several minerals.

Almonds - also high unsaturated fat and dietary fiber! As well as good protein!

Cranberries - REALLY high dietary fiber, making this an excellent breakfast food. Definitely something you want to start your day with.

And honey’s kind of self explanatory, lol. IMO, it’s better to start the day with a dose of fructose than sucrose.

Important to note that if you’re a spoonie it’s best to rinse the bowl (if it’s a real dish and not paper) as soon as youre done eating, if possible, because the yogurt and honey can kinda dry on there and it’ll make dishes more work later. But if you rinse it while it’s still wet it comes right off, no hassle :)

I hope you enjoy ^-^

[alistairsprayerwarrior]

Dragon Age Fanfic Fun, Part 1: Cook Shops

Edit: I realized, oddly enough, that I wrote this with Haven and Skyhold in mind (in short, DAI - probably because that's what I've been replaying as of late, lmao.) I promise I will get around to including how cook shops would operate in places like Kirkwall or Denerim (basically, urban centers)!

This will be part one of a series that was inspired by this video by the Modern Knight, in which I come up with silly little immersive ideas that one can easily add to their Dragon Age fanfic (or perhaps any medieval-themed fic/story) with the Dragon Age/Thedas setting in mind.

I hope to maybe do a series on this, at the very least for my benefit to reference instead of getting lost and forgotten about in a notebook, lmao. So let's begin, below the cut!

Also mild disclaimer, this is not an end-all-be-all where "OMG WHAT IF THIS ISN'T REALISTIC ENOUGH??" or "ACKTUALLY, MEDIEVAL FOOD SELLERS WOULDn't..." - look, at the end of the day this is just fanfic fodder for you and your blorbos, not a history lesson. I'm bound to make an error in judgment or descriptions, don't come at me with pitchforks. 😔

So you're hanging out in Haven or Skyhold. You're building up the Inquisition from the ground up with allies and defense forces - but also the little people to sell their wares (like our favorite Orlesian merchant, Miss Belle), but what about... Food!? Who's feeding everyone!?

Cook shops!

Or, "medieval fast food." These cook shops would be strategically placed where there would be frequent passers-by, such as next to a market square, or a busy gate entrance, and cooked to eat on the go (rather than cook-to-order.) In short, you see a tasty-ass pie, you buy it, and eat it right then and there.

I can also imagine the types of clientele our varied cook shops might have; you have a wide range of people (and pockets), varying from Templars with their income, refugees who may only be able to afford suspicious cuts of meat, or members of the Chantry with specific food preferences.

What sort of food would a cook shop sell?

This is not an exhaustive list of foods a cook shop would sell in Thedas, but perhaps ideas/suggestions you can quickly use. Otherwise, I'd recommend checking out @exhausted-archivist (formally known as @old-archivist) who will easily have a vast list of Thedosian cookery that will tickle your fancy in their Foods of Thedas Masterpost (it will even specify the region in which certain meals come from!)

Also since Haven and Skyhold are Ferelden-based, keep in mind what types of foods/ingredients will be procured/used in the food being sold. There are of course exceptions, such as Belle who was recruited from Orlais, for example (so there is always the possibility of foods outside of Ferelden cuisine.)

Also, cook shops can serve a specific type of food (rather than being a mobile Walmart of sorts.) Personally, I'd be a fan of Pickled Food Merchant... mmm. Pickles.

Boiled roots

Meat/Fish/Vegetable pies

Porridge

Roasts

Sandwiches

Sausages

Fish wraps

Soups/Stews

Nuts

Dried/Cured fruits or meats

Pickled foods

Hardtack

Rations

Edible plants

Desserts

Cheaper cuts of meat

Fried/Buttered foods

There are also ideas from other historical/modern use of foods:

Perpetual stew

Pagpag (though I see this used in more urban areas, such as Kirkwall's Lowtown)

But what about breads and drinks!?

Typically you would go to a baker for breads, or the tavern for drinks. In short, if you wanted to conjure up a meal, you'd have to likely go to different locales/merchants to pick and choose your foods. I feel like maybe bread could be an exception, since I can't imagine a baker really setting up shop in Haven/Skyhold because, well, baking, but this is all fantasy so you know what, fuck it, add your traveling baker!

Alcoholic drinks, of course, would be reserved for taverns. When it comes to non-alcoholic beverages, I'd still suggest sticking with taverns because they have the facilities for storage (casks, wells, tubs, etc.) But, again, have your own traveling wine seller, you do you boo.

Honestly, I like to imagine Haven or Skyhold being way bigger than portrayed in the game, so perhaps there would be room for a complete bakery (I mean, we've got Herald's Rest in Skyhold, so why not?)

Just, uhhhh, I feel bad for those merchants at Haven. Because, you know. Reasons.

What would a cook shop look like?

Since I imagine a cook shop for organizational establishments like the Inquisition, you won't exactly have people selling food right out of their homes (as was done in medieval times), since Haven or Skyhold aren't exactly "towns."

Instead, temporary stalls, huts, or cabins could be used to open and close up (in short, you won't be finding any glass windows or bars to protect products. Rather, there would be a shutter or board of sorts, that goes over the gap where you see the person cooking, which would be lowered during the day (like a table to display food) and then shut up and bolted when closed. The "ovens, and cooking facilities" are placed at the front so you can see the chef cooking, just like at Subway when you watch people make your little dinky sandwich.

Another alternative, you could simply have someone wandering about with a tray of foods they want to sell and yelling at the people of Haven/Skyhold to eat it (think popcorn, and hot dog sellers at baseball games. :)

When vendors sell their food, they may also yell at passersby to eat their products at certain times of the day

Services

Now this is gonna be fun. You can also have a cook shop that will literally make the food for you if you provide the ingredients (obviously if the merchant has the capability/equipment to do so.) In this case, according to the Modern Knight, ingredients would likely be made into pies or stews (be wary though, as merchants might steal some of the ingredients for themselves. 👀)

Also, how does Haven/Skyhold manage to look so nice when there's waste to be had? There were cesspits or barrels used to take away waste off-site. Also, be wary of hygiene practices; especially when it comes to using spices to cover the taste/look of spoiled food!

Sus Cook Shops

I'll just leave this here, for signs that a cook shop is rather questionable:

Flies

Reheated meats/foods

Foul garnishes

Faking the contents of food (such as using beef and promoting it as venison)

Well, there you have it. A basic gist of cook shops and fast food that you can implement into your DA fic (and maybe even conjure up some OCs!) Feel free to include in the comments/reblogs any other ideas you might have! Thanks for reading!

[crabbunch]

“She’s allergic to nuts,” Cleo says, shaking her head. 

“So?” Joe bites back. “It’s a chocolate cake. It doesn’t have nuts.”

“They make peanut butter cakes here, though,” Cleo points out. “There could be cross-contamination.”

“Ugh…” Joe groans. “Can’t he just- I don’t know, not be allergic to nuts. Let’s just get the chocolate cake and call it a day. It’s not a big deal.”

“Do you want her to keel over and die?” Cleo raises an eyebrow. “Do you want that? On his birthday?”

“...no,” Joe sighs. “Fine. What other bakeries are even open at this time of night?”

“None,” Cleo purses her lips. “We’ll have to make the cake ourselves.”

“Wh- Cleo, do you want to light the kitchen on fire?” Joe hisses.

“I believe in us,” Cleo smirks. “We- we’ve really only ever started 7 fires while cooking, and 3 while baking. We’ve got a good track record. Fairly good.”

“No??” Joe wrinkles his nose. “We’ve started more fires cooking because we cook more than we bake. We’ve only baked like 8 times ever, tops.”

“And we’ve got more than a 50% success rate!” Cleo cheers. “Come on, Joe, we’re gonna do great!”

“I’m gonna go update my insurance real quick…” Joe mutters. “You go buy the ingredients. I’ll meet you at your house.”

- - -

“Joe,” Cleo says conversationally. “Is it just me, or are we in that shop, buying a cake?”

“Mmm, just you, I think,” Joe replies. “If I remember correctly, we didn’t end up buying a cake here.”

“Oh, right, we’re about to burn down my starter base…” Cleo reminisces. “Do you think we should stop ourselves?”

“Well, will that completely destroy the stream of time, do you think?” Joe squints. “Is this time travel?”

“No, my com’s still displaying the correct date,” Cleo says. 

“Hmm. Maybe they’re the ones who time traveled,” Joe muses. 

“That’s a good theory,” Cleo agrees. 

They sit in silence for a few moments, watching their past- present- other selves argue about if the convex were a reliable source for insurance.

“Remember when we were worried about insurance policies?” Joe asks fondly. 

“How could I forget?” Cleo laughs. “You never stopped.”

“Well…” Joe rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. 

The other Joe and the other Cleo shake hands, apparently coming to some sort of agreement-  no, they remember this, they did come to an agreement. 

“Do you think something’s wrong with us?” Cleo glances at Joe. 

“Well, nothing’s disintegrating yet, and I don’t think we’re stuck in a time loop, so we’re probably good,” Joe smiles. 

- - -

Cleo and Joe are walking down the street when Cleo pauses, and yanks Joe back. 

“Oh,” Joe says, staring at the other Joe and Cleo who are staring intently at a bakery. If he craned his neck, he could see another Joe and Cleo through the window, discussing insurance. “That’s us, again.”

“It would appear so!” Cleo says, smiling anxiously. “I don’t suppose- do you think there’s anyone watching us?” 

They whirl around, and search for a Joe and Cleo that might be from the future. There’s no one there.

“Well!” Joe says, clapping his hands together. “That’s- that’s- hopefully it won’t happen again!”

“We’ve ignored it before, and it always turned out fine!” Cleo agrees. “I say we ignore it again and hope for the best!”

“Is there an insurance policy for willful ignorance in an effort not to break the space-time continuum?” Joe wonders.

“Not from the convex,” Cleo laughs. 

“Well- okay, yeah, but they’re not reliable for anything,” Joe reasons. “Are there any other insurance providers on the server?”

- - -

Joe freezes, and tackles Cleo into an alleyway. 

“Ow!” she hisses. “Joe, what-”

“We looked!” Joe wails quietly. “We checked to make sure it wouldn’t happen again!”

“What are you talking about?” Cleo asks, dusting off her shorts. She looks up, and sees a Joe and Cleo watching a Joe and Cleo who are watching a Joe and Cleo. 

“We checked!” Joe says again. 

“Well, you did just tackle is into an ally,” Cleo points out. “I’d reckon that would make it hard for us to- for them to-”

Joe and Cleo look around wildly, trying to spot themselves. Joe and Cleo stay crouched in the ally. 

“This might be a little problem,” Joe says. 

“It’s fine,” Cleo says. “We’ll just- all we’re doing is seeing ourselves whenever we come to the shopping district. If we stop coming here we’ll stop seeing ourselves.”

“Right,” Joe says. “I love avoiding problems! That sounds like a great plan.”

- - -

They get lazy. 

Joe needs concrete for his pinball machine and Cleo needs deepslate for her islands and neither of them want to grind for it. They go to the shopping district. 

They fly over it, mostly- they’re not going to start confronting their past selves. What if the universe collapses or something?

They still see them, though. Joe and Cleo in the bakery, Joe and Cleo watching Joe and Cleo in the Bakery, Joe and Cleo watching the both of them, Joe and Cleo in the ally-

It’s all getting a little ridiculous.

“You know,” Cleo tells Joe as he shovels concrete into a shulker box. “Most of the time, when you meet your past self, it’s because you have some unresolved emotions, or something.”

“We haven’t actually met them yet,” Joe says. “Mostly we’ve been observing and avoiding.”

“Do you have any unresolved emotions?” Cleo asks. 

“Do you?” Joe shoots back. 

They stare at each other.

“Well, I mean, yeah, who doesn’t?” Cleo says. “I don’t think talking to myself from a week ago will help with that, though.”

“Darn,” says Joe. 

- - -

Cleo and Joe go shopping. When they look up, they see themselves circling the shopping district like hawks. 

“I don’t know how we missed ourselves, this time,” Cleo says. “You think we would have noticed.”

“Maybe we weren’t here last time,” Joe says. “Maybe it’s sort of a case by case basis.”

“What do you mean by that, Joe,” Cleo mutters. She stares off at the Joe and Cleo in the bakery. 

“We should go talk to ourselves,” Joe suggests. 

“What,” Cleo says. “Okay, sure.”

They march up to the Joe and Cleo in the alleyway. They jump and whirl around, mouths gaping like fishes. There’s something off about them- Cleo narrows her eyes and grabs the past Joe’s arm.

It comes off.

The past Joe sighs, and takes off his head. 

“Zedaph?” Joe asks, wrinkling his nose in confusion. 

“Hello,” Zedaph gives him a little wave and continues to take off the Joe mascot costume. 

“...are all of us you?” Cleo asks. 

“Yep!” says Zedaph cheerfully. 

“Why?” Joe asks.

“For science,” Zedaph proclaims. 

“What science was happening?” Cleo asks carefully. 

“I was seeing what your reaction would be if you thought your past selves were wandering around!” Zedaph smiles. “I dresses up as you guys and repeated your past interactions in the shopping district- just the shopping district, to keep the scale reasonable.”

“Right!” Joe says. “Well, can we get compensated for our involvement?” 

“Sure thing!” Zedaph says. He pats his pockets and pulls out a small, malformed pumpkin and hands it to Joe. “You’ll have to share, I’m afraid.”

“That’s fine,” Cleo says. “Hope your experiment gave you the information you needed.”

“Oh, it did!” Zedaph beams. “Thank you guys so much!”

The Zedaph still dressed as Cleo takes off the costume’s head. “Should we gather up all the clones and throw ‘em into the void now that the experiments over?”

“Yes, please!” Zedaph says. 

Joe and Cleo leave. 

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

You Spin Me Right Round Part Two

Previous Part | Masterlist | Next Part

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Rating: M

Notes: Set after the series because Eddie is fine he graduated no worries. Not beta-read. I hope y’all are having a lovely weekend! 🖤

Also Ice Cream Cones cereal is a real cereal from the 80s. You can watch the commercial here!

Warnings: Cursing, mentions (but not use or abuse) of w e e d, fluff, some angst, negative feelings toward Reader’s father; Reader’s father is an absent figure.

Summary: “Don’t mind me,” Munson offers.

“That’s hard to do when you draw attention to yourself,” You point out. He gives a grimacing grin before he raises his hand to his lips, miming zipping them shut. Your eyes trail him through the shop, watching as he skims his fingers over a rack of classic rock cassettes before he disappears around a corner.

Circus Fun…Donutz Cereal…Kellog’s C3PO’s? Who the hell eats Star Wars cereal?...Then again, you can’t help but wonder…No. No. Frankenberry…Rocky Road…Ah, there it is. You reach in and take up the box you’ve been looking for: Honey Nut Cheerios. 

“Not gonna spring for the Ice Cream Cones?” 

You turn to the question-asker, and find a familiar guy smiling at you. It doesn’t take more than a second to recognize him—the shaggy hair, the jean jacket…But frankly, his smile is more telling than anything else. He’s got a sweet look to him, despite a somewhat intimidating get up. 

“Uh,” You glance back toward the shelves, eyes sweeping them for said box. Your eyes finally settle on the two varieties, “...No. No, I’m good.” 

“You sure?” He steps forward, picking up one of the boxes. He holds it up, giving it a shake, rattling the food inside. “You buy two and you can send in for a watch. And—” He holds it up beside his head, pointing to a graphic on the box. “It comes with Chumballs.”

Your brow furrows, head turning a touch. “Uh…What the hell are ‘Chumballs’?” 

“Gumballs to share with your chum! Haven’t you seen the commercials?” 

“No,” You shake your head a touch. You’re too embarrassed to tell him that it’s because you don’t have a television. 

“C’mon, you must’ve!” And then, to your utter shock, he throws his head back and crows, “My name’s Ice Cream Jones! I’m bringin’ the kids my ice cream cones! A crunchy cereal for breakfast! The great taste—of ice cream cones! Whooooa!” He flails, stumbling back with such force that you think he’ll fall. He straightens at the last moment, a grin across his face as he holds up the box again. “Right!”

When you shake your head a little, the guy scoffs in shock. 

“Haven’t even seen the commercial. Girlie, you haven’t lived.” 

“I have a feeling I’ll live longer if I never touch that stuff,” You retort as you stride past him. You hear the shove of a box against the others before his boots scramble and thud behind you. You glance back at him, raising a brow as he falls into step beside you. 

“Tell you what. Next time I get some, I’ll share my Chumballs,” He offers.

“Thanks, but maybe you oughta give ‘em to Cliff. I think he’d like them more.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

The two of you reach the end of the aisle, and before you can say or do anything, the guy is leaning over and peering into your cart, poking through your groceries. 

“Lessee, whadda we got…” He mumbles. “Bread…Milk…Eggs...Chicken...Spinach...Peanut butter…Jelly...” He lifts his head, peering at you from beneath his lashes. “See, this, ma’am, is what we call a boring cart.” 

“A boring cart?” 

“You know, it’s just the basics. Nothing fun, nothing that makes you throw the cabinets open and say, ‘Aw, shit yeah!”

“Maybe I’m a little biased, but opening the cabinets and actually finding food there is the kinda thing that makes me go ‘Aw shit yeah’,” You reply dryly. You round the aisle, expecting him to fall behind—but he keeps right on with you. 

“See, this is why you need Chumballs,” He insists.

You laugh a little, unable to help it. 

“I don’t know about that, but thanks, I think.” 

You stop in front of the canned foods, glancing over them and eyeing the prices. You can feel the guy fidgeting beside you, and can vaguely see him swaying back and forth, rocking from his heels to his toes. You finally take up a couple of cans of black beans, corn, and chickpeas. Then, at the last moment, you take up a can of tomato sauce, too. 

“What’re you doing with that?” 

“I’m gonna stack them and bowl at them.” 

“What are you using to bowl?” 

“Thought I’d get a cantaloupe.” 

He follows you from the aisle to the checkout, and waits as you check out. For one terrifying moment, you think that you may’ve picked up more than you’d been able to afford—you’d planned your purchases meticulously, but the cans of tomato sauce and corn had been last-minute choices. When the total comes to $19.87, you puff out a relieved little breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You pass over the twenty that your father sent you last week, giving the clerk a little smile. 

“How’s the Megadeath?” You ask Munson absently. 

“Huh?” 

Your brow furrows as you wrack your mind, then you shake your head. “Sorry, not the Megadeath, the, um—The Iron Maiden cassette you got?” 

“Oh! Good, yeah,” He grins, nodding. “Have you heard it?” 

“Nn-nn.” “Aw, ya gotta!” 

You smile a little at his enthusiasm, then turn to put the bags in your cart…Which is gone. Someone must’ve snagged it when you weren’t looking. Shit. 

“Here, lemme help.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to—” You start to insist, but the guy’s already squeezing behind you as the clerk holds out your change. You tuck the coins away, then turn to see Eddie taking up one bag, then another, and stretch for a third.

“You don’t have to take all of ‘em,” You chuckle. You take up the three remaining bags, shifting your purse on your shoulder before heading for the parking lot. The guy follows closely, and as the two of you approach your car, he puffs out a little breath. 

“This one’s yours?” He asks. Your chest tingles with self-conscious nerves. You nod a little. You know that your car isn’t the nicest, but it gets you where you need to go. 

“Yeah,” You mumble. You set one of the bags down on the ground, opening the trunk to put the groceries inside. You lean down, expecting the guy to pass your bags off and ditch. Instead, he’s shoving the bags into the trunk and rounding to get a better look at the car. You take the last bag up from the ground and arrange them all to keep them from jostling as you drive home. When you shut the trunk and walk around the car, you find the guy peering in through the window. His face and hands are pressed up against the glass. You raise your brows, unable to help your amusement. 

“She’s sweet!” He says it so sincerely that you can’t help but smile. 

“It gets the job done,” You nod. The guy straightens up, turning to you with a grin. You glance over him, then nod to the store. “You um…You didn’t get anything.” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna. I came with a friend.” 

“Oh? Wh—Where are they?” 

“He’s in there.” 

You smile a bit. “He’s gonna think you disappeared or something.” 

“Or just straight-up died, you know. Clean up on Aisle Me.”

You smile as he steps back, waving a hand kindly toward the front door of your car. 

“Thanks for the help,” You say. 

“Sure thing.”

You turn to the car, opening it and climbing in. You shut the door and start your car, glancing toward the window. The guy’s still there, and he gives you a little wave like he did at the shop. You smile, mirroring the wave before pulling out of the space. You can’t help but glance in your rear view mirror as you drive away. He watches you, too, and takes a couple of steps back, hands shoved into his back pockets. It’s another moment before he’s turning away, head ducking as he heads back to the grocery store. 

He’s kinda cute. 

Maybe you oughta ask him what his first name is one of these days. 

--

“New book, dorkazoid?” 

You roll your eyes, lifting your head from the book on the counter and resting your chin on your hand, eyeing Cliff.

“How’d you know?” 

“You’re not that far into it. Fewer pictures than the last one, I hope.”

“Whaddaya want.” 

“Just stopping by. I know you get lonely without me.” 

You mimic him childishly before glancing down To Kill A Mockingbird. Your attention is drawn away from it again when the door opens. The guy uses the right amount of force this time, and rather than looking around as he did before, he looks right at you. He grins, raising his hand and wiggling his fingers. You raise your brows, turning to look at Cliff. 

“He’s not here for you, is he?” You ask.

“No, no.” 

“You sure?” 

“Positive.” 

“Don’t mind me,” Munson adds, passing behind Cliff. 

“That’s hard to do when you draw attention to yourself,” You point out. He gives a grimacing grin before he raises his hand to his lips, miming zipping them shut. Your eyes trail him through the shop, watching as he skims his fingers over a rack of rock cassettes before he disappears around a corner. 

“He’s harmless.” 

You glance at Cliff as he offers the reassurance. You shrug, pushing yourself up to stand straight. 

“I might even go so far as to say that he seems kinda nice,” You retort. 

“Yeah, he is.” 

“How do you know him, anyway?” 

“He plays The Hideout sometimes, usually goes on, like, right before we do.” 

“Huh.”

“They’re pretty good…But he’s, like, the craziest of all of ‘em.” 

“Really?” 

“Dude shreds like you wouldn’t believe. It’s insane.” 

“Would I have heard of ‘em?” 

“If you ever did anything more than work, then yeah, maybe.” 

You roll your eyes, glancing over as the door opens again. You nod to another regular, smiling as she passes and pats on the counter on her way. You figure she’ll stop in the R&B section like she usually does, and she does linger there for a second…Before casting a nervous eye about and rounding the corner, out of sight. Your brow furrows a touch. 

“...Am I gonna have to kick them out? They can’t make out in here.” When you turn to Cliff again, you find him studiously rearranging the pens in your cup. “Cliff.” 

“It’ll be fine.” 

“How can you know that?” 

Not a moment later, your regular is rounding the corner again. She gives a quick wave before practically jogging toward the door. Your eyes narrow after her, and you turn your attention to Cliff. He’s still avoiding your eye as hard as he possibly can. 

“Clifford,” You warn. 

“Uhhh…” He glances over as his friend rounds the corner, hands swinging freely at his sides. “Gotta go.” 

You huff as Cliff hurries out of the shop behind your other regular. Munson’s brow furrows a touch as he comes to stand at the counter. 

“What was that?” He asks, nodding after Cliff.

“You tell me.” 

Munson’s brow furrows, and you sigh.

“Look, if you’re gonna sell pot outta here, I’m gonna need a cut,” You add. You expect him to deny it and hightail it out of there, or to laugh in your face. Instead, he leans against the counter, resting on his forearms. 

“How much?” 

The answer is so unexpected that it’s like a smack in the face. 

“I—What?” 

“How much,” He repeats with a shrug. 

“That’s not…You wouldn’t really.” 

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s quiet in here, the atmosphere’s rad…And when I’m not doing business, I can just veg out. So? How much?” 

You blink dumbly at the guy for a moment, mouth agape at his straightforwardness. 

“...How much is your average sale?” 

“Ten bucks.” 

“So I’d get fifty cents?” 

“Hey, that can add up.” 

You arch a brow, leaning back just a touch. The guy’s really serious. 

“...A preroll,” You counter. “Not per sale, just…Whenever you come in. One.” 

The man lowers his head, pushing out a low trill for a moment. Then he flips his hair back, knocks his knuckles on the counter, plants his elbow down, his hand open for a shake. 

“Deal.” 

You hesitate still. If your boss found out, you could be in really, really deep shit. But if you were smart about it, you’d score some free weed. You glance at his hand, then meet his eyes again. 

“I reserve the right to terminate this,” You warn, waving a finger between the two of you. 

“Absolutely. You say the word, I fuck right off.” 

You narrow your eyes slightly. That was too easy. No way he’d just go if you told him to…Right? But, Cliff said he’s a good guy. Cliff doesn't hang out with assholes. Hell, usually Cliff is the asshole. So you put your hand out, wrapping it around the guy’s gently. His slight smile turns to a full-scale grin as he pumps your hand. 

“Hell yeah.” He lets go of your hand, taking a couple steps back. “I’ll see ya in a bit.” 

“Yeah—Watch out—” You warn, then wince as he bumps into one of the displays. He whirls around to steady it before insisting,

“I knew that! I—That was on purpose.” 

You laugh a little bit, nodding. “Before you go?” 

“Yah.” 

“What’s your name?” 

He goes still, closing his eyes in mortification as his hands cover his face. 

“I am such a corndog,” He proclaims, the sound of it muffled through his hands. He springs back to the counter, hand out again. “Eddie Munson, at your service.” 

You smile a little, shaking his hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Eddie. I’m—” 

“Oh, I know! I mean—” He winces then, drawing his hand back to scrub at the back of his neck. “Cliff told me. I asked.” 

“You asked?” 

“...Yeah. I mean,” Eddie tips from side to side, “I didn’t think you’d appreciate me callin’ you pretty lady all the time, so.”

You smile a little. 

“Maybe just sometimes.” 

Eddie’s brows jump, intrigued, and he fixes you with a mischievous grin. 

“Noted.” 

You purse your lips to keep from smiling widely, and watch as Eddie takes a couple of steps back again. 

“I’m gonna go.” 

“Okay. Don’t bump into the—” 

“Hey, I learned my lesson.” 

He continues to walk backward, stepping sideways through the aisles, eyes still set on you. You can’t bring yourself to break eye contact, or fake reading your book. Eddie raises a hand, blindly searching for the door handle. 

“Bye, pretty lady.” 

You laugh a little, unable to help it. 

“See ya, Munson.”

Taglist: @missredherring​ ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta​ ; @paintballkid711​ ;  @massivecolorspygiant​ ; @blueeyesatnight​ ;  @recklessworry​ ; @amneris21​​ ; @ew-erin​ ; @youngkenobilove​​ ; @carbonated-beverage​​ ; @lorecraft​​  ;  @moonlightburned​​ ;  @milf-trinity​​  ; @nolanell​​ ;  @millllenniawrites​​ ;  @chattychell​​  ; @dihra-vesa​​  ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices​​ ; @missswriter​​  ; @thembosapphicclown​​ ;  @brandyllyn​​  ; @wildmoonflower​​ ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink​​  ; @mad-girl-without-a-box​​  ;  @winchestershiresauce​​ 

[hey-hamlet]

I get the not being hungry so eatings hard and doctors don't care cause you're a little over weight thing, same here, I lost like 20 pounds over 3 months after I got covid and my family and the doctor said it was a good thing, like actually that was a bit under 10% of my body weight so uh, yeah, anyways I've been dealing with not being hungry basiclly ever but having to still eat for about 2 years I think, best advice I've got is an unhealthy meal is better than no meal, try to make yourself eat at least one meal a day, probobly dinner is the best bet, have snacks on hand always, find a snack you can always eat regardless of if your organs are acting up (for me its goldfish, theyre relatively bland, easy to carry, and easy on the stoamch, i literally have some in my bag always), there is no shame in eating dino nuggets or some other simple 'childish' meal, they're often given to kids for a reason, because they're palatable to most in almost every situation and they're easy and quick to prepare, so like spaghetti, nuggets, ect, you've gotta keep insisting to the doctors that this is a problem or it'll never get fixed, though yeah it's frustrating as all hell, I still can't get one to listen to me about it, but yeah in the end snacks are great and I hope things get better, I know this mess sucks but you'll find ways to handle it and that will help

you are a delight, thank you!! my current way of not dying is juice, rice and snack breads tbh. i also mostly just steal random leftovers from my parents, but i have to be really really hungry to eat things i dont like so a lot of the time i just have juice or something i can eat quickly for dinner. Health wise it would be good if I enjoyed nut butters, but I hate them so. More snack breads. Smoothies would also work but I always forget to buy frozen fruit.

[nebulousfishgills]

for the random ask game!

2, 4, 5, 26, 35, 43, 58

Thanks bestie! The other asks are gonna get done eventually, brain has just noooot been letting me do shit lol.

2 - Do you have an accent?

Not really. Although technically my state has an "accent" that people kind of unofficially adopted. Sometimes my "a's" sound like "o's." It's not like southerners saying "wooter" and not "water," but the most obvious example is saying the name of my state itself.

4 - Have you ever slapped anybody?

I don't think so. Definetly not in a real, serious way, but I can't remember if I've done a stage slap or not.

5 - Did you learn a skill or get a new hobby during lockdown?

Honestly... I don't think so. Lockdown was really hard on me even being as big of an introvert as I am. I was depressed and mostly did what was familiar rather than doing new things. I've blocked most of 2020 out tbh.

26 - Have you ever won a contest?

Actually yes! Our big botanical gardens was opening a kids area and they needed a name for their mascot, a Marmot. The name I suggested was picked and I was there to attend the grand opening. It was televised and everything. I was gifted a marmot plush that I still have to this day (this was thirteen years ago).

I went there a couple years ago and the kids' section is still there and the mascot is still around here and there, although I don't think my name is anywhere. I can't even find articles about it.

Here's the little lad:

35 - Favorite dessert?

Fuckin Cinnamon Buns. I could eat so many of those, especially the ones from Cinnabon.

43 - Is there a movie you detest for a very specific reason?

Fucking "Sound of Freedom." As most of you know, I worked at a movie theatre this past summer and it was the bane of my existence. It's about child trafficking and it released on the fourth of july. And as you know, Americans see the word Freedom and go ape shit. And it's a very specific crowd: Conservatives. Your religious grandparents, military members, Blue Line Supporters...

And the tRump/QAnon crowd.

I extend my customer service to everyone but these people were/are ASSHOLES. Getting mad at me when showings were sold out (my co worker even had people ask if she could *move other people* from their seats so she could sell them to this old bat and whoever was with her).

On my last day I had two women buy tickets for it and try to trick me into free food by saying they ordered pretzel bites when they most certainly didn't, thinking I was too stupid to realize otherwise... I read their order back to them twice and they said it was fine both times. Jokes on them cause I rang them up in a separate order so they still paid...

Oh and our ushers have seen SEVERAL religious pamphlets and scriptures left behind on the seats.

But it did lead to this funny story:

When I was working on the 4th of July, every showing was full or almost full. This one dude with a Trump hat and a cross around his neck the size of my palm asked about a solution to the problem of his wife not liking butter on her popcorn but he did. I poured the popcorn into a paper bag we give out so people can share easier and let him use his free refill to fill the bucket again, so two buckets of popcorn.

He called me smart, asked for my name (since I didn't wear a nametag) so he could thank me properly, and gave me candy. I wished him a happy fourth since I really was hoping he would tell my manager I did a good job (praise is praise even if he wears a red hat) and he just bellows "AND A HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO YOU AS WELL, MA'AM!"

...so there was a thin veil made of ignorance and my own resourcefulness that prevented me from getting hate crimed at work since if this man knew a gay pagan had helped him out...

And no I don't think he actually talked to my manager about my helping him.

I seemed to get more respect from these people seeing this fucking movie than others (which says a LOT cause I had so many dicks I had to help) and I've theorized that maybe these nut jobs thought I was religious cause they saw the pin on the hair scarf I wore and assumed it was representative of some Christian sect...

...It's a Volturi crest pin.

But, yeah, to sum up, fuck this movie and the crowds it brings. I knew it was gonna be bad when I read the synopsis on my monitor the morning of the 4th and saw Jim Caveziel was the lead, fucking JESUS in "The Passion of the Christ..." and what's even WORSE is that he's the lead of "The Prisoner," the show I wanted to watch because of baby JCB.

Working Barbenheimer was like a doomsday for me, but Sound of Freedom was a chronic and horrid pain...

Although this happened, so that's horribly ironic:

58 - Are you or were you a good student?

Yeah basically. I was kind of universally known as the smart kid nobody talked to but everyone wanted in their group projects. Finished high school with a 3.97 GPA, but most of that can be credited to my extreme fear of failure. College has been no different lol.

[ketorecipepost]

PHILLY CHEESE STEAK CASSEROLE

Philly Cheese Steak Casserole Cook Time 45 minutes Total Time 50 minutes Servings 6 Calories 366 kcal Ingredients - 1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef - 2 bell peppers - 1/2 yellow onion - 1 clove garlic - 1 teaspoon seasoned salt - 4 slices Provolone cheese - 4 large eggs - 1/4 cup heavy cream - 1 teaspoon hot sauce - 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce Instructions: - Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9×9 baking dish with non-stick spray. - Dice the peppers and onions into bite-sized pieces. Mince the garlic. - Add the ground beef to a skillet and cook over medium heat, crumbling as it cooks. - When beef is broken apart, but still pink, add the peppers, onion, garlic, and seasoned salt. Continue cooking, stirring often, until beef is cooked through and vegetables have softened a bit. - Drain grease from the skillet and pour mixture into the prepared baking dish. - Tear the cheese into small pieces and place over the beef mixture. - Add the eggs, cream, hot sauce, and Worcestershire sauce to a mixing bowl and whisk well to combine. - Pour the egg mixture over the beef and place the dish in the oven. Bake for 35 minutes or until the eggs are set. - Let sit 5 minutes before slicing and serving. Keto tips: No fruit, unless it’s berries in moderation… No wheat No sugar No grains No pasta No potatoes No rice No beans No starches No milk as it’s loaded with sugar. ( unsweetened almond milk is recommended.) HWC (Heavy whipping cream) is good in coffee or whatever you would like to use it for. Meat, cheese, eggs, vegetable, nuts, and healthy fats. It’s simple. Stick to that, and you should be ok! Vegetables that should be avoided are… Sweet potatoes Corn Peas Potatoes Carrots – can be used in moderation, just don’t go over board. They are full of starches and not recommended. Make sure to drink half your body weight In oz of water as well if you aren’t getting the adequate amount of water it can be bad for your kidneys! This applies for all forms of keto. Do not forget your electrolytes, they are needed daily. A good form of electrolytes is: Powerade zero Pickle juice Pink Himalayan salt added to your food Strict keto – counts all macros, do not eat processed foods. Lazy keto – doesn’t track all macros, still eats processed foods, as long as they are on plan Macros are a break down of the calories you intake for the day. Which should be… 5% carbs 20% protein 75% fat Carb manager is a great app to track macros Carbs are a limit – try not to go over your carb limit. Fat is a lever – you don’t have to meet your fat macro, it’s simply there to help you get full. Protein is a goal- try your best to reach your protein goal, but try not to go over. Excessive amounts of protein can cause you to stall in weight loss. Anything other than this food group selection would be considered low carb. Also, if you are in ketosis, and eat outside of this food group not only could it take you out of ketosis, but it could spike your blood sugar! Which can make you sick. Hope this helps.  If you are a keto newbie- This should help  Meats: ZERO CARBS  • Beef- Ground beef, Steak, Ribs, and Roasts • Pork- Chops, Ribs, BACON, Loins, sausage • Chicken/Turkey- Thighs w/skin or wings are the best because breasts are high in protein. However, you CAN eat breasts, just have to eat more fat to compensate. • Fish- Tuna, Salmon, Cod, Haddock, etc. • Shrimp/Lobster- Go crazy, use lots of butter! • Pepperoni Cheese: MOST are no carb, almost all are low carb • Mozerella & Cheddar- Buy in bulk, they freeze well and are insanely versatile! • Colby jack, pepper jack, monterrey jack • Taco style, Mexican style • Parmesan, Asiago • Ricotta- Freezes well, very versatile • Cottage cheese- Good to throw in your lunch with berries, usually around 4-8g of Carbs per serving • Cream Cheese- Freezes very well, this is one of the things that I always glance at whenever I go to the store, and always buy a bunch of if it’s under 75 cents per 8oz. Vegetables: No potatoes! Get your carbs from above ground veggies!!! • Leafy greens- Spinach, Spring mix, Kale, Romaine • Zucchini- Great for a noodle substitute! • Avacado- Awesome source of natural fat! • Eggplant • Brussels sprouts • Tomato • Spaghetti Squash- Versatile, makes a great spaghetti substitute and is even great for making hash browns!! • Cucumber • Peppers- Jalepeño, banana, green/red/yellow/ orange bell • Broccoli- Great with cheese, steamed or just raw! • Asparagus- Awesome roasted or sautéed with bacon and garlic! • Cauliflower- AWESOME potato substitute!! • Celery- Great with cream cheese or all natural peanut butter! • Cabbage • Pickles (Read nutrition labels, watch for sugar and carbs) • Olives • Green beans- Awesome sautéed in bacon grease with garlic, (watch portion size, though). • Onions- Red, yellow: use somewhat sparingly, to taste Fruits: Most are a no-no, especially bananas, oranges and grapes. • Strawberries • Blueberries • Raspberries • Blackberries • Lemon/Limes- Adds great flavor! Nuts (grams of Carbs per 100 grams, or 3.5 oz) • Pecans/ Brazil (4g) • Macadamia (5g) • Hazelnut/Walnut/Peanut (7g) • Pine (9g) • Almond (10g) • Pistachio (18g) • Cashew (27g) Oils/Fats • Coconut Oil • Butter: Kerry Gold is best but just make sure it’s REAL butter and not a spread or margarine • Olive Oil • Vinaigrette • Hollandaise • Bacon/sausage grease • MCT oil- easily ordered online/in specialty stores Dressings/Condiments/Fats • Ranch, Blue cheese, Cesar, Thousand Island, Balsamic- Watch carbs/ sugar, but there’s tons of brands, so you can find one you love! • Mayo- Natural/organic is best, but I use Hellmann’s all the time. • Aioli • Heinz “NO SUGAR ADDED” Ketchup or sugar free ketchup • G. Hughes brand sugar free BBQ sauce • Yellow/Spicy Brown Mustard • Soy sauce • Hot sauce Liquids: Use as base for sauces/soups • Heavy Whipping Cream (HWC) • Broths/Stocks: Stay away from reduced fat. Bone broth is awesome! Snacks • Pepperoni • Slim Jims/jerky (watch carbs) • Homemade cheese its/ tortilla chips • Cheese • Pork rinds (0 carbs, very versatile. Can be used as breading, nacho substitute or even sprinkled with cinnamon & stevia and eaten like cereal with Almond milk and tastes like cinnamon toast crunch!) Drinks • WATER- Lots of it! • Crystal Light- Tons of options and very convenient! • Tea with stevia • Coffee- Add a Tablespoon of coconut oil or MCT oil, Stevia, heavy whipping cream and imitation vanilla/ Hazelnut or Cocoa powder & peppermint BOOM Homemade creamer! Alcoholic Beverages • Beers (grams of carbs per 12 oz serving)  Bud Select 55 (1.9)  MGD 64 (2.4)  Rolling Rock Green Light (2.4)  Michelob Ultra (2.6)  Bud Select (3.1)  Beck’s Premier Light (3.2)  Natural Light (3.2)  Michelob Ultra Amber (3.7)  Coors Light (5)  Amsterdam Light (5)  Bud Light (6.6) • Vodka: Whipped Vodka & flavored water or pineapple Pinnacle with crystal light are a couple of my favorites! • Whiskey shot (0g carbs) • Brandy shot (0g carbs) • Dry Martini (0g carbs) • Tequila shot (0g carbs) • Champagne (~1g per serving) • Dry wine (~2g per serving) Sweeteners • Stevia drops (0g) • Erythritol (0g) • Truvía (0g) • Monkfruit (0g) Other common Ingredients I use • Almond flour • Spices: Garlic powder, onion powder Dont forget your electrolytes, they are needed daily. • A good form of electrolytes is: • Powerade zero keto recipes keto recipes chicken keto chicken recipes keto recipes dessert keto recipes easy keto recipes dinner keto recipes ground beef keto recipes for breakfast keto recipes breakfast keto recipes with ground beef keto recipes uk keto recipes healthy keto recipes with chicken keto recipes free keto recipes for beginners keto recipes lunch keto recipes with almond flour keto recipes book keto recipes with cream cheese keto recipes vegetarian keto recipes australia keto recipes dairy free keto recipes nz keto recipes reddit keto juice recipes keto recipes for weight loss keto recipes pinterest keto recipes indian keto recipes for one keto recipes thermomix Read the full article

[more-than-a-princess]

Does Sonia have any favorite flavors when it comes to sweets and treats?

Unprompted headcanon asks - Accepting!

I hope I don't sound like a broken record (especially if you've followed this blog for awhile), but I'll start here and give further explanations: Sonia's favorite sweet is chocolate. Chocolate is an ingredient, a snack, a dessert, and a way of life in Novoselic. Wine and chocolate are some of the country's biggest exports, and in Dangan.ronpa canon, they are said to have the best chocolate in the world (Sonia often carries a square or two in her purse. For emergencies. It's excellent therapy!). A life without chocolate, for most Novosonians, is not a life worth living. They do not believe in cutting it out of a diet (unless you're allergic or something).

That said, Sonia was raised to eat both traditionally and seasonally. Novoselic is bordered by France, Italy, (the right half of) Switzerland, and Germany, so much of the country's national cuisine comes from there. Things like berries in the spring and summer, apples in the fall and winter (apple strudel is a favorite), cream and cheese-based desserts, nut flavors like almonds and hazelnuts (she loves her mont blancs!) and of course, the likes of cakes, cookies, and ice cream/gelato are all very popular. Chocolate fondue is another popular dessert, often served at home, in restaurants, and in fondue cafes throughout the country.

With Japanese immigrants moving into Novoselic right around the end of World War II, they brought traditional flavors with them, so it's not uncommon to see the likes of green tea, red bean, black sesame, cherry blossom, etc. fused with more European style fare.

What there's considerably less of, or at least less of that they don't make it as Sonia's favorite flavors, would be the likes of citrus and tropical fruit flavors: lemon is less of a sweet dessert and more for cooking, and she didn't grow up with a lot of more warm-weather types of sweets/desserts (ice cream aside).

The better question to ask are the sweets and flavors Sonia doesn't like: most coffee things that don't have enough sweetness to balance out the bitterness, sour desserts (lemons and limes, any sort of sour candy like Sour Patch Kids, Airheads, etc), plum-flavored anything (she hates plums. Hates. Them.), and whatever Americans keep passing off as chocolate.

aka. Chocolate that tastes more like straight sugar than actual chocolate. In Novoselic, no matter who you are, you tend to buy the best chocolate you can afford and you savor the experience enjoying it. So the likes of cheap chocolate where it's more sugar than anything else? Absolutely disgusting to Sonia. American hot chocolate is equally gross, but she's very unimpressed by the likes of Hershey's, M&Ms/Mars, Nestle, Swiss Miss, etc. She'll politely accept such things but she will not enjoy eating them.

However, she will make an exception for one specific American sweet: anything with peanut butter, especially peanut butter cups. She's sure the Americans are onto something absolutely delicious with that. It goes wonderfully with chocolate-hazelnut spread!

[reallove-truelove]

Foods In The Bible

As I am getting older i am becoming irritated by the considerable amount of bad things, we consume every day because society has tried to push for us to consume toxic things and foods that have demonic rituals attached to these foods that we consume within our bodies and while i am still unaware to the other nasty and horrible things they have pushed upon my generation, the past generation and generations before us. I am going back to my roots; i am looking to the bible for what is acceptable and what is not. This a list of foods we are allowed to consume. But this is only a brief format and for more information on certain foods such as fish, you will need to research and look in the book of Leviticus. Here is a small list of what i have found but for more information you will have to look to the bible for answers as i am.

List of foods In The Bible That God's People Consumed:

herbs

spices

nuts

fruit from trees

seeds

green herbs

Anise

Coriander

Cinnamon

Cumin

Dill

Garlic

Mint

Mustard

Rue

Salt

Apples

Almonds

Dates

Figs

Grapes

Melons

Olives

Pistachio Nuts

Pomegranates

Raisins

Sycamore Fruit

Beans

Cucumbers

Gourds

Leeks

Lentils

Onions

Barley

Bread

Corn (grain)

Flour

Millet

Spelt

Unleavened Bread

Wheat

Fish

Partridge

Pigeon

Quail

Dove

Calf

Goat

Lamb

Oxen

Sheep

Venison

Butter

Cheese

Curds

Milk

Eggs

Grape Juice

Raw Honey

Olive Oil

Vinegar

Wine

As i was saying to my mother and what i have heard others say is; if it's not in the bible for us to consume than it is not something we should be placing within our mouths and our bodies.

Be more careful with what you eat because it matters.

If it didn't matter than; people wouldn't be trying to normalize and deceive us into consuming demonic rituals such as Oreos, birthday cake and so on.

it says in Hosea 4:6

"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."

We are all guilt of this, and we all need Jesus Christ.

We are all not will out sin, but Jesus Christ is and that is why he was crucified for our sins. We all need repentance, forgiveness and Jesus Christ's love.

We need to become smarter and not just buy what is on the shelves and what is advertised on tv.

Keep your eyes and heart on God and ask for his wisdom when shopping.

I hope this helps people and opens people's eyes.

[always-aqua]

Just a vent… feel free to move along.

I’ve been in the fandom for nearly 8 years. I have followed the “big” accounts, the update accounts, the smaller accts. I have tried time and again to connect with others. I have written fic, I helped organize a meet up before one of H’s shows. I have sponsored singles, albums, and veeps tickets. I reblog fan work, fics, play the writing and general meme games even when no one tags me. I have tried to be present in this fandom. For eight years. Sure. I’m not an OG. I have a career that ebbs and flows my time so I am not 100% available or online 24/7. But I am here. A lot. I try and watch livestreams for all shows I am able and be active online reblogging and posting in reaction to the shows.

My point is…I’m here. I’ve tried. I’m trying.

And yet…it feels like this is not a space that cares. I’ve felt this pretty much my entire time in this fandom. I am not trying to be negative about everything because I firmly believe you cultivate your own experience. At the same time, I can post something one minute and never receive a note and see the same thing almost verbatim posted by someone else a few minutes later and jump immediately to 20+ notes. Cultivating my experience only goes so far when no one else wants to buy into it. So what then?

I’m not saying I’m a great writer by any means. I am lucky to have had one fic actually “take off” but the rest? Hardly anything. My posts rarely get notes. (shout out to the the three people that actually interact with me!! It means the world to me!) and last night I went to L’s show. I have posted pics and vids and my thoughts. Extremely limited interaction.

I don’t live my fandom experience for other people, but think of it this way. I spend all day baking cookies to bring to a party. Actually, many days. Deciding which recipe I want to use. Then I go to the shops for ingredients. I decide to splurge on the expensive salted cashews, the extra right chocolate and cage free eggs. I even decide to bake two batches to be cognizant of potential nut allergies. So I double my ingredients and time. Now, it’s the night of the party, my two batches came out perfect (the second time around because the butter was too soft the first batch and the cookies spread more than what I wanted.) I put the cookies in two different serving baskets and hand-write little signs for each kind to explain nuts/no nuts. Then at the end of the night, I go to collect my containers and realize that only like 3 cookies are gone and I find half of one in a garbage. A few thoughts go through my head: well that sucks people didn’t like my cookies. They didn’t even try them to know if they might have liked them or not. / nice! I still like cookies now get to have more for myself. The next party rolls around and I try again thinking maybe it was just the people at the first party were not in a cookie mood. And the same thing happens at the end of party number two. A third party rolls around and begrudgingly I go through the whole process with very little hope anyone is gonna eat the damn cookies. They don’t. So you know what? I’m not making cookies anymore since it doesn’t feel worth it. Doesn’t mean I don’t like baking.

I love it here. I love supporting L&H. For eight years, this has been my oasis from real life when I’ve needed it, and I have made one or two genuine connections. I love when something dumb happens and memes fly out of people faster than I can blink. I love show days where the excitement is palpable. I love seeing people organize fan projects and the audience following along. It truly is a happy place.

But goodness can it feel lonely when no one else cares about your excitement.

[lastevia]

Buy Almond Butter Online — Best Price at Steviala.com

If you’re looking for a delicious and nutritious way to add some extra protein to your diet, you should consider to buy almond butter online. Steviala.com offers the best prices on almond butter, and you can be sure that you’re getting a high-quality product when you buy from us.

Introduction to almond butter and its health benefits

Hello everyone! In this blog post, we will be discussing the health benefits of almond butter and how to incorporate it into your diet.

Almond butter is a type of nut butter made from ground almonds. It is a great source of protein, fiber, and healthy fats, making it a great choice for a healthy snack or addition to your diet.

Almond butter is a good source of protein, providing 7 grams per 2 tablespoons. This makes it a great choice for vegetarians and those who follow a vegan diet.

Almond butter is also a good source of fiber, providing 5 grams per 2 tablespoons. This can help to keep you feeling full and satisfied between meals.

Almond butter is also a good source of healthy fats, providing 16 grams per 2 tablespoons. These healthy fats can help to improve your overall health and reduce your risk of disease.

Almond butter is a great addition to your diet and can be incorporated into a variety of dishes.

You can spread it on toast or crackers for a quick and easy snack. You can also add it to smoothies or yogurt for a nutrient-rich breakfast or snack. Almond butter can also be used in baking recipes to add flavor and nutrients. Try using it in place of peanut butter in your favorite recipes.So you may buy almond butter online.

Thanks for reading! We hope this blog post has helped to introduce you to the health benefits of almond butter and how to incorporate it into your diet.

How to choose the right almond butter

When it comes to almond butter, there are a lot of choices to make. Do you want to go with roasted or unroasted almonds?

Is there a certain brand you want to go with? How about the type of sugar?

There are a lot of questions to ask when it comes to almond butter, but don’t worry, I’m here to help. In this blog post, I’m going to talk about how to choose the right almond butter for you.

The first thing you need to decide is what type of almonds you want to use. Roasted almonds will give your almond butter a slightly different flavor than unroasted almonds.

Roasted almonds are a little bit sweeter and have a slightly stronger flavor than unroasted almonds.

The next decision you need to make is what brand of almond butter you want to buy. I think almond butters Lastevia is one of the best choices.

So, those are the main decisions you need to make when choosing an almond butter. I hope this blog post helped and happy almond butter shopping!

The best recipes to use almond butter

There are many recipes that can be made with almond butter. Some of the best include:

Almond Butter and Banana Smoothie: This is a great recipe for a quick and easy breakfast or snack. Simply blend together almond butter, banana, and milk of choice.

Almond Butter and Jelly Toast: Spread almond butter on a piece of toast, then top with your favorite jelly or jam.

Almond Butter and Apple: Slice an apple and spread almond butter on top.

Almond Butter and Chocolate: Mix together almond butter and melted chocolate, then freeze for about 30 minutes.

Almond Butter Cups: Melt some chocolate and pour it into a mold. Place a dollop of almond butter in the center, then freeze for about 30 minutes.

It’s time to buy almond butter online. Almond butter is a great way to add some healthy protein to your diet, and Steviala.com offers the best prices on this delicious product. Be sure to check out our selection today and add some almond butter to your next grocery order!

Use this website, www.steviala.com, or call us at +91 96004 91189 to know more about LaStevia.

Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest

#buySteviapeanutbutter #buylasteviacookiesonline #buyLasteviapeanutbutteronline #buysteviasweetenedpeanutbutteronline #buyLasteviapeanutbutteronline #buysweetenedladduwithstevia #buysteviasweetenedladdu #buydiabeticfriendlyladduonline #greengramladduonline #buynosugarladooonline #buysugarfreeladduonline #kambuladduonline #buyragiladduonline #bajraladduonline #buysugarfreesweetsonline #buyIndiansweetsbulkorder #buyPeanutbuttercrunchy #buyLowcaloriesweetsonline #buySugarfreepeanutbutteronline #buysugarfreealmondbutteronline #buyhealthynutbutter #buyindiansweetsonline #buyalmondbutteronline #buyhealthysweetsonline #buynosugarsweetsonline #buydiwalisweetsonline #SteviaSweetener #NaturalSugar #NoCalories #HealthySweets #BajraLaddu #KambuLaddu #RagiLaddu #MoonLaddu #NoSideEffects #Coimbatore #Madurai #India #LaStevia #KitchenTips #WeightLoss #Diabetes #NaturalSweetener #DiwaliSweets #FamilyFunxtionSweets #Online #LowCalorieSweets #AffordableCost

[annarellix]

Death at Beresford Hall  by Emma Davies  (The Adam and Eve Mystery Series #4)

Francesca Eve, chef, caterer, and baker extraordinaire, has never desired the limelight. But when she’s accepted onto the country’s favourite cooking competition, she can’t help but wonder – what would it be like to win? The one thing she’d never imagined, though, was sharing the kitchen with a killer…

When Francesca Eve arrives for the Christmas special of the country’s most popular baking competition, she knows she’s out of her depth. For not only is she there undercover, reluctantly investigating strange threats to Miranda Appleby, the famous presenter-come-chef, but she swiftly gets roped into competing herself when another contestant can’t cut the mustard and quits. Cooking may be bread and butter to Fran, but under the bright lights her cranberry sauce won’t set and her mince pies burn. When the real reason she’s there ends in total failure and Miranda is found with a cake slice through the heart - ‘lights, camera, cook’ becomes ‘lights, camera, murder…’ Miranda may have looked like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but looks can be deceiving… From her harassed PA to the rakish producer and even the disappointed contestants, everyone on set seemingly had reason enough to want to bump her off. But who would be nuts enough to cook Miranda’s goose in such an obvious way? As the police arrive to take over the investigation, Fran can’t help but continue her own lines of enquiry. She’s come to know the crew and contestants and can’t believe that any one of them would be guilty. But Fran must harden her heart to her new friends and focus her mind. Someone may have thought Miranda was justifiably given her just desserts, but what Fran uncovers takes things to a whole new tier. Can Fran uncover the truth before another death occurs, and before the spirit of Christmas (cake) is ruined forever?

Buy Link: https://geni.us/B0BD8WH7FFsocial

My Review: Fran and Adam are an unlikely couple of amateur sleuth but their differences and their skills make them a highly effective duo. They're so good that DCI Bradley asked them to investigate on some threat that Miranda Appleby, a  tv presenter. This is the start of the 4th instalment in this series and each one is better than the previous as there's always a variety of settings, type of people and different puzzles to solve. Miranda wasn't a very nice persone and I loved how Fran and Adam were able to discover the culprit investigating but always being realistic and entertaining at the same. This unlikely couple is well developed and likeable. Fran's social and culinary skills works well with Adam's technical and logical skill. This entertaining and compelling story kept hooked and guessing. It's full of unexpected turns and I read it in one evening as I couldn't put it down. I hope there's going to be a lot of other investigations, this one is highly recommended. Highly recommended. Many thanks to Bookouture for this arc, all opinions are mine

The Author After a varied career, Emma Davies once worked for a design studio where she was asked to provide a fun and humorous (and not necessarily true) anecdote for their website. She wrote the following: 'I am a bestselling novelist currently masquerading as a thirty something mother of three.' Well the job in the design studio didn't work out but she's now a forty something mother of three and is happy to report the rest of her dream came true. After many years as a finance manager she now writes full time, and is far happier playing with words than numbers. She lives with her husband, three children, and two guinea pigs in rural Shropshire where she writes in all the gaps in between real life. It's a county she adores, her love of its beautiful people and landscapes providing endless inspiration for her books, and in fact the only thing that would make Shropshire more idyllic is if it were by the sea.

Pop over to her website www.emmadaviesauthor.com where, amongst other things, you can read about her passion for Pringles and singing loudly in the car. You can also wave to her on twitter @EmDaviesAuthor or find her on Facebook (a little too often than is good for her).

Social Media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emmadaviesauthor Twitter: https://twitter.com/EmDaviesAuthor Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authoremmadavies/ Website: www.emmadaviesauthor.com Bookouture Email Sign-up: https://www.bookouture.com/emma-davies