#personal thoughts about fandom

[egophiliac]

WAIT when did he get FANGS

[always-aqua]

Just a vent… feel free to move along.

I’ve been in the fandom for nearly 8 years. I have followed the “big” accounts, the update accounts, the smaller accts. I have tried time and again to connect with others. I have written fic, I helped organize a meet up before one of H’s shows. I have sponsored singles, albums, and veeps tickets. I reblog fan work, fics, play the writing and general meme games even when no one tags me. I have tried to be present in this fandom. For eight years. Sure. I’m not an OG. I have a career that ebbs and flows my time so I am not 100% available or online 24/7. But I am here. A lot. I try and watch livestreams for all shows I am able and be active online reblogging and posting in reaction to the shows.

My point is…I’m here. I’ve tried. I’m trying.

And yet…it feels like this is not a space that cares. I’ve felt this pretty much my entire time in this fandom. I am not trying to be negative about everything because I firmly believe you cultivate your own experience. At the same time, I can post something one minute and never receive a note and see the same thing almost verbatim posted by someone else a few minutes later and jump immediately to 20+ notes. Cultivating my experience only goes so far when no one else wants to buy into it. So what then?

I’m not saying I’m a great writer by any means. I am lucky to have had one fic actually “take off” but the rest? Hardly anything. My posts rarely get notes. (shout out to the the three people that actually interact with me!! It means the world to me!) and last night I went to L’s show. I have posted pics and vids and my thoughts. Extremely limited interaction.

I don’t live my fandom experience for other people, but think of it this way. I spend all day baking cookies to bring to a party. Actually, many days. Deciding which recipe I want to use. Then I go to the shops for ingredients. I decide to splurge on the expensive salted cashews, the extra right chocolate and cage free eggs. I even decide to bake two batches to be cognizant of potential nut allergies. So I double my ingredients and time. Now, it’s the night of the party, my two batches came out perfect (the second time around because the butter was too soft the first batch and the cookies spread more than what I wanted.) I put the cookies in two different serving baskets and hand-write little signs for each kind to explain nuts/no nuts. Then at the end of the night, I go to collect my containers and realize that only like 3 cookies are gone and I find half of one in a garbage. A few thoughts go through my head: well that sucks people didn’t like my cookies. They didn’t even try them to know if they might have liked them or not. / nice! I still like cookies now get to have more for myself. The next party rolls around and I try again thinking maybe it was just the people at the first party were not in a cookie mood. And the same thing happens at the end of party number two. A third party rolls around and begrudgingly I go through the whole process with very little hope anyone is gonna eat the damn cookies. They don’t. So you know what? I’m not making cookies anymore since it doesn’t feel worth it. Doesn’t mean I don’t like baking.

I love it here. I love supporting L&H. For eight years, this has been my oasis from real life when I’ve needed it, and I have made one or two genuine connections. I love when something dumb happens and memes fly out of people faster than I can blink. I love show days where the excitement is palpable. I love seeing people organize fan projects and the audience following along. It truly is a happy place.

But goodness can it feel lonely when no one else cares about your excitement.

[mixmangosmangoverse]

If you ever needed to know the extent of how the I/P conflict is fandomized, there is a popular post going around with a Sailor moon sticker saying Free Palestine and all the comments are talking about how it's their aesthetic and they totally need to buy it

Because this doesn't matter to them, it's just the cool hip and trendy thing

[generichoneydew]

nuclear winters over guys. I'm only accepting nuclear spring. Bite me.

34/52

[qprstobin]

The fact people act like Steve wouldn't notice if a guy/Eddie was flirting with him at all, when part of the hilarity behind the big boy flirtation scene is that Steve CLEARLY knows something about the comment is off lol. That's why he looks so baffled. Steve can be oblivious about other things but come on Casanova over there is going to notice when someone is flirting with him even if it is a guy

[luna-loveboop]

I want. Four to get appreciation. Because

Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured

The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal

But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff

From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)

He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her

And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance

He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place

And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene

I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything

And he did housekeeping!

Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn

Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn

Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious

There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future

But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way

Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things

No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?

.

Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))

[mylittleredgirl]

public apology to everyone who dms me and then later sees the exact same thing i said to you in a public post. i promise we are having a real and honest human connection but also i'm trying out my material on you. it’s an unfortunate hazard of ever talking to anyone who thinks they’re a little bit funny. i really am sorry and it will happen again.

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

Maedhros ‘whose spirit burned brighter than his father’s’ Feanorion dying in a fiery chasm is a suspiciously convenient way to avoid the ‘did he spontaneously combust’ question.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wei Wuxian eats a watermelon. Yep!

[rexrevri]

I really love the dead boy detectives fandom here because I have learned so much about writing, gif making, film, coloring, art and so much more in the past few months than I have in years being on this website. There are so many talented and creative people here, and so many of them are willing to share their knowledge and processes with the rest of us. It's like a wonderland of fandom culture. We really do have something special here and I hope it continues for many years to come, whether we get a season 2 or not.

[laufire]

jason's lazarus pit was golden jason's lazarus pit was golden jasonslazaruspitwasgolden jason's lazarus pit was golden JASON'S LAZARUS PIT WAS GOLDEN

AND PIT MADNESS IS *NOTHING*

[emily-mooon]

I can’t remember if this has been done yet but anyways here’s your (almost) monthly shitpost from me :]

[dunmeshistash]

What do you think about Shuro? And more specifically his relationship with Laios, and idk if you talk about ships but what are your thoughts on laishuro

I have this headcannon that Laios has some sort of unrequited crush on Shuro just because it's sorta funny

I ship pretty much everything. Like, as default I think everyone should kiss everyone 👍

If I'm honest I'm not much of a Shuro fan, he's a little boring to me and reactions to the chimera episode made me dislike him a bit lmao.

Ignoring the fandom I like him as a character and I LOVE his fight with Laios. Shuro's relationship to Laios is my favorite part of that character so laishuro pretty much saves him for me.

In universe Shuro is said to be quite the introvert even for people from his country. He's not the standard for someone from the eastern archipelago and it bothered me a bit when people used that to justify how he wasn't honest to Laios. I understand the idea that he comes from somewhere where reading social cues is not only expected but required but he's also someone who avoids confrontation and is quiet/shy in general.

Here's a bit from Maizuru's description from the adventurer's bible

"People tend to describe Shuro as "drab" and "shy" (...)" so specifically HE IS the exact type of person who would cause the biggest misunderstanding with Laios, just compare him to how his retainers or even his father and brothers act.

It took them saying they used ancient magic on Falin/seeing chimera Falin for him to finally snap, everything else he decided to just take it cause he thought it was better to take it than to confront Laios directly.

So besides the cultural differences you have to take into consideration this was pretty much the perfect storm brewing for that confrontation, and it's as much who Shuro is as a person and who Laios is as person that caused it.

I also disagree that the fight was a "they're both in the wrong" situation. Don't get me wrong, Laios was VERY culturally insensitive to Shuro and even more insensitive to his feelings, but there was nothing he could have done differently with the information that was available to him.

Specifically I see this comic being used to justify how Laios was to blame too, making Shuro into the victim

Like that's a major white guy move but he DIDN'T HEAR Shuro's name and Shuro never corrected him. I'd understand it if his reaction was "Your name is too complicated so I'll call you Shuro instead" that would be a major dick move, but Laios did not hear his name because Toshiro mumbled it, and for someone that forgot Kabru's name several times I imagine he made an effort to remember Shuro's.

Laios never met someone from the eastern archipelago before this, nobody ever explained to him he wasn't acting in an appropriate manner and most of all he thought they were friends. He trusted Shuro to set boundaries for him, he always respects boundaries that are set even when he doesn't fully understand them (Recalling the "I forgot about feelings.." when Chilchuck says it feels wrong to eat merman)

Instead of explaining ANYTHING to Laios, Shuro instead held it all in until it exploded all at once, he blamed Laios for not knowing something he couldn't know, and accused him of not being serious about saving his own sister.

Just imagine how this must have felt for Laios, everyone is always underestimating how serious he is, everyone accuses him of being stupid, clueless, and now this guy is telling him he isn't serious about saving the person he loves the most in the world and wants to protect always. To me this wasn't a "they're both in the wrong" situation, Shuro is far more in the wrong than Laios. But that's just how I see it.

That all being said, they understood each other finally and made peace after that fight.

And several times after this we see that Shuro really cares for Laios, and Laios still wants to be his friend. He even offered to save Laios if he fails (and he's sure he's gonna fail). So their relationship is dear to me, especially cause after this they finally have the foundation for a true mutual friendship <3

I think my dislike of Shuro comes from relating to him to be honest, it happens often that I see my own failures on a character and get angry at them for being angry at myself lmao. I also got a little annoyed cause I only saw people defending him, apparently those were made as a response to hate he had gotten? But since I never actually seen the hate it just felt annoying to see Shuro being white knighted.

Anyway I love the two of them together and I'm really happy they finally understood each other better. laishuro might be my favorite Laios ship, one sided crushes are great.

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[sherlockruiningmylife]

It’s a long shot I know. Looking for someone from Germany (a city in the west, not too far from France where I am) whose name starts with V (I remember her name but I don’t want to expose it in case it’s not something shared here) who is in the Arcane fandom. I also remember they spoke English, German, and French.

Not certain that she is on Tumblr but it seemed like the best shot. I matched with you on Tinder not too long ago and we had a fun conversation going about fandoms and books that we enjoy but then for some reason my Tinder decided to just go kaput this last weekend. It signed me out and I did my best to sign back in but it said there was no account attached to my email. No idea why. So I lost my conversation with you. Last I remember we were talking about books that we were reading or want to read. And my final message was about reading the song of Achilles in French. But we also talked about lots of other books like good omens, house on the cerulean sea, cemetery boys, and wilder girls to name a few. We had also talked about our gateway fandoms, mine being doctor who, I think yours was harry potter (I’ve got an awful memory so I am not confident on that). 

I’d really like to find you again because I enjoyed our conversation. So if you are out there in the world of tumblr, send me a message :) I doubt that if I reset my Tinder that I’d be able to find you again unfortunately because I think we matched while I was either in Strasbourg or Mannheim which I don’t think I’ll be in either again soon. But I’ll be around to talk if you’d like. 

-M

[jattendschaton]

what if we 🥺👉👈 collaborated on a project together 🥺👉👈 inspired each other 🥺👉👈 built one another up 🥺👉👈 created something new and fun 🥺👉👈 while cheering each other on 🥺👉👈 and bringing joy and fresh ideas to our works 🥺👉👈 wouldn't that be cool 🥺👉👈 I will fall in love with you, to be clear