#i can fix him -> no actually you really can’t Randy but good on you for trying

[coldblooded-angel]

Rip Randy Bradley, you would’ve loved “But Daddy, I Love Him”, “Fresh Out the Slammer”, “I Can Fix Him(No Really I Can)” by Taylor Swift

[downtilts]

i do think it’s essential to their relationship that benson really does “fix” randy, at least in the way he wants to, which is to rid him of his shame/self-hatred so he can live life on his own terms. when they're in the diner at the end and randy looks at benson saying “i called the cops” he does it with such an insane expression of gratitude on his face, like he can’t believe it’s possible he did that, and he knows it's only thanks to benson. like he’s saying “benson, we did it” and he’s completely bought in to benson’s plan to fix him, and it just so happens that the natural conclusion of that plan was for randy to betray him, because the way benson made it all possible was by doing something unforgivable. but that’s the central tension of benson’s character for me… this tension between him being capable of doing these really horrific unforgivable things and then simultaneously capable of facilitating a truly profound and beautiful, permanent change within randy. and having the beautiful change only be possible because of the unforgivable things. in interviews johnny and kyle talk about “benson there were other ways to do this!!” but i think the story is the most interesting if you approach it with the premise that there actually were no other ways to do this. the only thing that could have possibly convinced randy to change is something this extreme. and randy realizes that and so develops this genuine gratitude toward benson. and so im sure randy has an inexplicable and difficult grief that haunts him now but he no longer believes in his own inherent unworthiness and he considers that a gift benson gave him and will never disrespect himself again because it would be equivalent to disrespecting benson's sacrifice. so he is able to live a good life

[kuchipark]

South Park Main Four Dancing HC’s below the cut

(Head Canons By Someone Who Can’t Dance For Shit)

[This was supposed to just be about dancing but I got a tad side tracked, so there is some bits about their music taste in there, too. Enjoy!! (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)♡]

Main four + Butters bonus

Kenny McCormick:

- Unintentionally good.

- The way he dances is slightly feminine but not at all girly. (just smoother, more control over his hips, his limbs move in a satisfying, flowy way, less stiff, etc.)

- He takes the male role when slow dancing/waltzing/grinding, etc.(had to add the last one because he TOTALLY is the type to be shamelessly grinding on the dance floor) but with salsa dancing he sometimes likes to take the feminine role, just because he thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

- Finds a way to dance to any song. Like Peruvian pan flute music.

- Dances when he’s happy

- Confident Dancer

- Really satisfying to look at

- Isn’t aware that he’s good at dancing, because he doesn’t really think dancing is something you can be “good” or “bad” at, it’s just shaking your body in all directions and not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks

- Would never judge someone for how they dance

- “Twerks” (just throws his back back, and calls it twerking)

- Dances with friends to cheer them up (like in that one Harry Potter scene, where Harry dances with Hermione to cheer her up (fuck JK Rowling but that scene is adorable))

- Often dances with Karen, free and fun entertainment

- he still listens to CD’s/cassette tapes, because he can’t afford an Apple Music/Spotify/SoundCloud subscription and he had some old CD/cassette players laying around that he fixed up. Cartman rips on him for this, telling him to “get with the times”, but he doesn’t care.

- He doesn’t have spotify because he can’t skip songs, which is super annoying because he throws every song he likes into one big playlist. So when he’s listening to relaxing songs, he wants to be able to skip the heavy metal Slipknot song that comes on right after. He does have Soundcloud because there are less ads than Spotify, and he can skip songs, but he honestly prefers CDs and cassettes at this point.

- Drags people to the dance floor at parties

- Likes songs with dirty or doltish/childish lyrics

- Dabbles in some country

- Is 100% a juggalo

Stan Marsh:

- Stan dances like a mom;,.. Or a wine-drunk Randy

- At times Horribly offbeat

- Can’t tell if he got his moves from Randy or Sharon

- A bit of a stiff dancer

- Bad but in a charming way, that’s fun to look at

- Knows he sucks, but doesn’t care

- He has potential but he lacks a sense of rhythm and all his moves are at least 20 years old

- The confidence he oozes makes his uncool moves not seem awkward but more endearing

- Still does stuff like that one scuba dance move, or the thing with the peace signs over the eyes

- Loves playing Just Dance with Kenny. Kenny just does it as a stress reliever but Stan tryhards, determined to beat Kenny’s ass at least once.

- He and Kenny usually dance together at parties, leaving Kyle to look for Stan everywhere (because he never announces where he’s going, he just sees Kenny on the dance floor and beelines in his direction.

- When Stan & Kenny are REAAALLy drunk, the dancing gets weirdly sensual (like Stan holding Kenny’s hips from behind, or vise versa) just because they think it’s fucking hilarious. There isn’t any actual sexual tension, just friends goofing around. sometimes they accumulate a little (mostly female) audience when they do this. The girls wolf whistle and yell shit like “Yeah, baby! shake that! (Which—let’s face it—are usually Bebe/Red or Heather) Nichole and Wendy usually just stands there, amused, trying to suppress laughs, cheering them on.

- Sometimes, (If Stan & Wendy aren’t fighting/broken up) Wendy will tap Kenny’s shoulder and ask if she can steal his Date from him. Kenny very politely backs off, but not before giving Stan a big, sloppy kiss on the hand/cheek and mouthing stuff like “call me” (with the accompanied hand sign, ofc) while getting dragged off by Bebe.

- The one thing he is actually good at is slow dancing, he spent hours upon hours practicing with Kyle because he was scared he’d step on Wendy’s feet (and he had good reason, Kyle’s toes suffered more than one could count) He could’ve asked Kenny for help, but dancing like that in a serious way—not just fucking around—while sober was way too vulnerable (Plus, he would rather slow dance with Kyle).

- Stan begs Kyle to dance with him all the time but Kyle isn’t that big on dancing, at least not in public

- Stan also listens to CD’s and cassettes, but he likes it for the “aesthetic”. He and Kenny exchange CD’s and cassettes every few weeks so that they can listen to each others recommendations. Kenny likes literally almost any genre, so he almost always digs the music Stan picks for him. But Stan has a more particular music taste and has gotten back to Kenny with a “Dude, wtf was that” more than a few times. Kenny has gotten really good and guessing what Stan will, and won’t like, though. So that rarely ever happens anymore.

- Very passionate about music

- Metalhead (duhhh)

- Aggressively sings along to songs

Kyle Broflovski:

- Also aggressively sings along to songs (He can’t sing)

- Not good but not bad

- Also a bit stiff

- Usually just nods along to the music

- Doesn’t hate dancing but just doesn’t do it as often as Stan & Kenny

- Prefers dancing alone in his room, or with Stan rather than out in public

- Not a big fan of the dance floor, but after a drink or two he can be persuaded

- A good slow dancer, taught by Sheila… against his will

- Likes watching Kenny and Stan dance. Specifically Stan, something about the way he dances so confidently uncool and manages not to look awkward mesmerizes him. Kenny just moved like a flowy piece of fabric, anyone would find it satisfying to look at.

- While teaching Stan how to slow dance, Stan would sometimes twirl him (that’s not a part of slow dancing, but Stan just thinks it’s more fun that way) and he’d sometimes twirl Stan too, but he couldn’t do it more than twice in a row before Stan would get nauseous and almost throw up (either from the twirling or from something else? ;))

- Usually watches on the couch while Kenny and Stan play just dance, and usually getting successfully coaxed into playing with them for just oneeee song

- Likes the cure (END OF DISCUSSION, THIS IS NOT EVEN A HC, IT’S CANON)

- Likes rock and jazz

- When he does dance it’s usually kind of laid back (Unlike Stan and Kenny who throw their entire soul into it) Because he’s a but more conscious of all the eyes around them. But he can definitely let loose when you mix the right amount of booze… or when he’s tryharding Just Dance

- On the rare occasion that he can actually find them, he’ll cheer on Stan and Kenny, too

- Kyle usually gets the aux, Kenny used to get a chance but after he put on “No Cock Like Horse Cock” by Pepper Coyote for the third time, they made an unanimous decision to put him on timeout

- Still uses the same ipod he’s been using since 2013 to listen to music

Eric Cartman:

- Does not dance

- Refuses to dance

- He just stands there with his arms crossed, tapping his foot at most

- Except when lady gaga comes on, he’ll give a whole performance

- Most definitely dances when no one is watching

- Likes hiphop/pop

- Definitely thinks he can rap

- Blares along to every song

- Out of breath after the most minimal of dancemoves

- Gets his panties in a twist when Stan and Kenny “fag it up” at parties

(Bonus)Butters:

- Somehow even more off beat than Stan, in an awkward way

- Too shy to dance at first, but once he starts there is no holding him back

- Seriously, what the fuck is this guy doing?

- Flaps around his arms and calls it a dance move

- Really fun to dance with

- plays christmas music in July

- one word: Gangnam Style and Baby Shark

- Those are five words

- But seriously, never let this guy do the music, you’ll regret it immediately

All:

- I saw this in a fanfic once, but it’s perfect. They definitely all sing along to The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang. I will stand by this till I die!

That was it!! (for now), I spent waaaaay too long doing this and as you can probably tell I got lazy towards the end. (But tbh I didn’t rlly have any ideas for Cartman/Kyle, like I feel like they could go a lot of ways.)

I hope it wasn’t too long,, or too short. Let me know some of your HC’s if you feel like it, I love reading them!

Is anyone gonna read this ya think?

[f1nalboys]

i’m back again with a request this time!

how about shy!randy with a future fem s/o (or whatever is most comfortable) who starts to work at the video store with him and they’re both socially awkward and he’s all nervous trying to teach her the way around the place and it’s just CUTE

(i love all your randy writings btw he is so underrated and you write him perfectly!!)

AHHH you're so sweet :,) I'm really glad you think so! i hope you enjoy!

WORD COUNT: 951

WARNINGS: fluff babey

When Randy saw you talking with his manager, wearing a uniform, he nearly shit his pants. He had seen you around school a few times and heard from a passing group of kids that you were new. Not that he had been listening in on their conversation, of course, because that would be totally weird and he is not weird.

He clears his throat, pretending to fix the shelves when he sees you and his manager, Henry, begin to walk towards him. “Randy,” Henry calls and Randy turns, acting surprised at seeing the two of you. “This is Y/N, we hired her yesterday. I gotta run so I need you to train her.”

“What? I mean, yes, sure, it’s just… I’ve never trained anyone.” His manager shrugs, tossing him the keys for the store and leaves without another word. Randy sighs, grinning when you laugh. He really liked the sound of that. “So, Y/N, welcome to the wonderful hell-hole that is the Woodsboro Movie Rental Store.”

“Seems like paradise,” You tease and he laughs, feeling heat spread across his cheeks. The store was empty, it being a Tuesday and all, so Randy wasn’t really sure where to start. “So… what am I supposed to do?”

He sighs, looking around the store, asking himself the same damn question. “That is a good question… here, you can help me put the movies back from the cart.” You nod and follow, trailing behind him. “So, it’s pretty simple. You pick up a movie, look at the genre, go to that section, and place it wherever the hell you think it belongs.”

“Shouldn’t it be in alphabetical order?”

Randy shrugs. “Yeah, it’s supposed to be, but I refuse to spend time doing all that just for some snot-nosed kid to come in and fuck it all up.” You snort, grabbing a movie off of the cart. He peers over you and grins: The Howling. “So, where do you think this goes?”

“Well, assuming you don’t have a dedicated werewolf section, I’d say horror.” You look at him, eyebrows raised and he claps. You take a bow, walking to the horror section, which was to your right, and you take just a second to look at the titles. “Here, I’ll place it next to Arizona Werewolf.”

“Good job! You’re almost a natural.” You elbow him lightly as you pass by and his breath hitches in his throat. He squeezes his eyes shut, annoyed at himself. Nice one Randy, get all flustered because a chick elbowed you! “Alright, now for the hard part.”

Randy walks you to the register and presents it. “This old beaut is named Betty. She’s been kicking for the last 12 years, which is 90 in electronic years, and she works about 30% of the time.” You laugh and nod, waiting for him to continue. “So, we’re gonna run through an old-fashioned fuck up so you know what to do when it inevitably happens.”

The next four hours is, honestly, the most fun Randy’s had during a shift in a long time. Like, a long time. He teaches you how to do transactions, how to get Betty to work again, he shows you where all of the cleaning supplies are as well as other copies of movies and where you have to mark the movies rented.

“Well, I think that’s it. You did good, kid.” Randy says, clapping you on the back a little harder than he meant to. You jolt forward and he sucks in a breath, his face showing his embarrassment. “Shit, sorry. Meant that to be softer.”

“It’s alright, kid,” You tease, standing next to him as he locks up the store. He spins the key ring on his finger and shoves it in his pocket like they do with guns in those old Wild West movies your dad made you watch. “So, I actually had a question for you.”

He raises an eyebrow as you and he begins to walk to your cars, which were the only two left in the parking lot. “Yeah? And what would that be?”

“Do you wanna get something to eat with me?” Randy nearly chokes on his own saliva. You giggle and he clears his throat, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.

“Uh, yeah, yeah. Totally… when do you wanna do that, exactly?”

“Tonight? If you’re free, of course,” You say, turning away from him, embarrassed. What if he had something to do? Then you would have put yourself out there for no reason.

You reach your car, which Randy forced you to let him walk you too, and he grins. “Yeah, that works for me. Kind of free all the time. Not in like, a loser way…” His face heats up again as you laugh but he can’t help but smile. It was clear you weren’t laughing at him, but rather with him. “I’ll meet you at Sunny’s, you know where that is?”

You nod and, in a rare moment of confidence, you pull him in for a quick hug. You release him and get in your car before he even has time to react but you can just barely make out the grin spreading across his face. He waves as you pull out of the parking lot and walks to his car, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

He gets in, closing the door and rests his head against his seat. “Shit. I gotta date.” The thought makes him laugh; who would have thought Horror Movie Randy would get a date with the new girl? Not him, that’s for sure. He turns his car on and turns the radio up, singing the entire way to the restaurant.

[dear-wormwoods]

Thoughts as I’m rewatching Return of Covid:

The newscasters at the beginning say the pandemic started 38 years ago, so that means the characters aren’t quite 50, more like 47-48. Did they say 50 in Post Covid? Gdi South Park, these details matter to me!

Man, Token’s so cool.

Darwin IS there and even has a line, so I guess they didn’t actually forget about him.

Kyle’s shocked face when Alexa and Stan are interacting. Is having an Alexa not typical in the future because they’re Like That? Is this his first time seeing one in action?

I do think Cartman genuinely loves his family, but his obsession with Kyle trumps that. He is so single minded about it - blaming Kyle for the time travel idea even though it was clearly Kenny’s and Stan wants to do it just as much, and implying to his wife that Kyle’s mission is solely to prevent them from meeting.

I actually love Vic Chaos. The way he talks is a nice callback to Butters’ Bottom Bitch. And I love the idea of him funding Kenny.

Okay so… did Randy time travel? Or were him and Kenny working together and Kenny tried repeatedly to stop him from fucking the pangolin? I like the idea of Kenny’s time traveling attempts following 11/22/63 rules where the past actively pushes back against changing, but since it was easy for the other guys to change the past then I’m just left confused.

Sad that Craig and Tweek got taken out so early in the episode. Also, Cartman literally hasn’t changed at all and I love seeing his true colors re-emerge.

Again, the way Kyle says ‘Stan?’ when he’s given his own Alexa, genuinely scared. As he should be.

Okay but the manager of Denny’s Applebee’s Max looks more like adult Cartman than Cartman does. Like he’s perfect. The fuck?

Kyle’s fucking eternal optimism. I love the dynamic between that and Stan’s cynicism.

Why does South Park have its own airport?

I LOVE the gag of Cartman standing slightly off screen and surprising Butters by saying ‘Butters.’ I’m so happy they used it in this special.

Also love the idea of Kyle using the Alexas to get information on Stan’s health.

Cartman could have easily just destroyed the machines, it’s not like Stan and Kyle could have replicated Kenny’s project. But again, he’s got Kyle tunnel vision - his dream of killing Kyle is more important to him than the possibility that going back to kill Kyle might somehow result in him never meeting Yentl.

That Token/Kyle moment though.

Randy forgiving Stan only to turn around within seconds and blame him again, lmao.

“Make sure that Stan and Kyle don’t get to this altar.” I just… Cartman must know how that sounds right? Like, ‘Vic we can’t let them get married!’

The fight between Cartman and Kyle is so good. Stan knows better than to step in, even though Kyle is getting his ass handed to him.

Cartman has done such a thorough job of poisoning his family against Kyle, but it also makes sense that Yentl and the kids would blame Kyle for seemingly ‘changing’ Cartman. They don’t know it’s just his true colors coming out, they’re all ignorant to the kind of person Cartman is on the inside. It’s just frustrating seeing people in fandom, who should know better, blame Kyle as well.

Of course Clyde was the expert who told him never to get vaccinated. What a fucking idiot.

Stan jumping in the chair right after Clyde to try to save Kyle… love that.

“You regret this day for the rest of your life!” and “You lose everything when you lose this friendship!” makes me so emotional. The fact that they know they’re miserable without each other, that they can acknowledge they need each other to be successful and happy…

I understand why they chose to keep it simple and fix everything with the Heather Williams thing, because it would have taken a whole other special to really hash out the real issues in their relationship but… God, what I wouldn’t give for an emotional Stan and Kyle showdown where they lay everything on the table and really TALK about the deterioration of their friendship and how they really do love each other enough to work on it. That’s too heavy for South Park though, I get it. That’s what fanfiction and RP are for I suppose.

That being said, Stan and Kyle apologizing was cute and the song choice was perfect.

Okay but how does the pandemic actually end? Sure the weed makes everyone forgiving and stuff, but Covid still exists lol. Maybe it’s still going on in the fixed future too and people are just ‘reacting better’. Who even knows. It’ll be interesting to see if the next season will act like the pandemic is over or not.

The way Kyle just RUNS into Stan’s arms.

But seriously how did Kenny get his funding if Butters is just a waiter?

It does seem like the show is trying to tell us that if Cartman gets his perfect life, no one else can, and vise versa. And that makes sense, given that he’s the antagonist. He was the antagonist the entire episode, on top of being the antagonist in general, and his ‘sacrifice’ was only because of his family’s convincing, so that he wouldn’t be ‘like Kyle’. He saved Kyle, yes, but it was from a plan of his own making. I understand why Cartman got nothing in the end, and I also understand why Cartman fans are upset by it (though blaming Kyle or saying Kyle ‘stole’ his perfect life is going too far). I kind of still wish he and Yentl ended up together again though, because she sold me on that. Maybe it’s not too late for them though - they could still meet. She could help him get back on his feet. Cartman’s life could still start anew!

I liked the ending more this time than the first time. There are still a lot of ways to interpret it and places to go with it. I’m pretty invested in the shitty future though because of the angst potential, but the fixed future has a lot of potential too!

Overall I really fucking loved the Post Covid specials. I kind of hope they’re done with future stuff though, as much as I love the adult designs and all the possibilities there… I think too much of a good thing would start to spoil it, y’know? But yeah, 10/10, will rewatch obsessively.

[alt-rose]

21 - colson baker

colson baker imagine

21 - Pete Davidson takes you out to celebrate your 21st birthday after SNL, and you make a new friend. 

“this week a midwestern teenager was arrested for kidnapping livestock and hiding them in their neighbor’s garages. here to comment is our resident young person, (y/n) (y/l/n).”

you took a quick breath before you were pushed toward the weekend update desk. you rolled to a stop next to your castmate Michael Che before you dove into your bit with him about cows and the midwestern community.

you made your SNL debut last season when you were only nineteen. you quickly took over Pete Davidson’s former role as the “resident young person” among the cast, and you had formed a fast friendship with him over the last year and a half. he had been eager to take you out with his friends so that you could experience the true nightlife that New York could offer, and now that you were finally turning 21, he could do just that.

after you exited the stage from your weekend update skit, Pete caught you in the hallway as you headed back to your dressing room to get ready for your last skit.

“hey, next weekend,” Pete started catching your attention. “do you want to go out and celebrate your birthday? Maybe get shitfaced?”

“I don’t know. who’s gonna be there? I don’t really want to feel obligated to entertain people while you’re getting me drunk,” you said apprehensively.

“don’t worry. it’ll be a bunch of people you don’t know so you don’t have to worry about anything other than getting drunk. I’ll keep an eye on you, of course. keep you away from the creepos.”

“how thoughtful,” you say throwing yourself into one of the hair and make-up chairs. “but sure, it sounds fun.”

“great. I’ll get the party lined up for next Saturday after the show.”

you threw him a thumbs up before your attention was directed toward the make-up artist giving you an 80s look for your next skit.

--

“this week our very own (y/n) (y/l/n) turned 21. here to comment on finally becoming an adult is our resident young person, (y/n) (y/l/n).”

“hey Colin,” you call back to him when you roll up next to Colin Jost at the weekend update desk.

SNL did a similar skit when Pete turned 21 so the writers felt it was only right to do one for you.

“hey (y/n), how does it feel to finally be 21?” he asked tapping his pen on his desk.

“it feels great Colin. you know, it’s a bit of an adjustment, but I’m having a great time.”

“right, you’re finally legal now. you can do adult things.”

“yeah, now I can buy tropical fish at Randy’s Pet Shop by my apartment building. I have a fish named Chet now. he’s pretty cool.”

“wait, you have to be 21 to buy fish from Randy’s Pet Shop?”

“yeah, Randy’s got this weird thing,” you paused to make eye contact with Colin. “anyway, besides that, I don’t really feel like much of an adult, Colin. I’m like five-foot-something and still resemble a fourth grader. like look at me, Colin. I was given a kid’s menu at TGI F.R.I.D.A.Y.’S last week. I am not an adult.”

Colin laughed before looking at you. “(y/n), you really don’t think that you’ve grown in this past year? you haven’t felt like an adult in anyway?”

“no.”

“well, I think you have. you stopped ordering chicken fingers at every restaurant we go to for cast dinners. I think that’s a big step into adulthood.”

“yeah, well, joke’s on you because I have a bag of dino nuggies hidden in the back of the breakroom fridge.”

“what?”

“yeah, I just take a few out and wrapping them in tinfoil and heat them up in the microwave for four minutes-”

“wait, hold on, hold on,” Colin laughed waving his hand to stop you. “you put the nuggets in tinfoil before you put them in the microwave?”

“yeah, you just wrap them up in the tinfoil, and they cook really well. they get all sparky and stuff. they taste a little smokey though”

“you’re the reason why the breakroom microwave is always broken?”

“what?”

“(y/n), you’re not supposed to put tinfoil in the microwave,” Michael chimes in.

“you can’t put metal in the microwave. did you not know that?” Colin asked.

“what?” you put on the confused act.

“(y/n) (y/l/n), everybody,” Colin shouts turning to the audience and ending your segment on the update.

“who let me be an adult?” you laugh shouting to audience as Colin pulls you into a side hug. the crowd cheers as you wave to them.

“for weekend update, I’m Colin Jost.”

“And I’m Michael Che. GOODNIGHT.”

you continue to smile and laugh with both of the guys as the camera panned away from the stage and the recording light turned off. when you made it off stage, you started to head back to your dressing room. you had finished your last sketch of the night, so you planned on getting ready for your night out with Pete and whoever else he invited.

--

an hour later, you were crammed in the backseat of an uber next to Pete.

“where are we going?” you asked him as you check the battery on your phone.

“this club a few minutes away. it’s pretty lowkey. everyone’s going to meet us there.”

“okay, sounds good-”

“it’s actually right here,” he interrupts stopping the driver. “thanks, man.”

Pete opened the door of the car and climbed out. his lanky form towered over the small sedan. he leaned down to help you scoot over to open door. you took his hand as you scooted over to the door before sliding out of the car as best as you could in your mini skirt.

after both of your feet successfully hit the pavement, you adjusted your black leather mini skirt from riding up before you fixed you black turtleneck to make sure that it was still tucked into your skirt.

“ready?”

“yeah, let’s go.”

--

after making it past the bouncer, Pete led you over to the bar before dropping you off at a bar stool. you watched as he made his rounds saying hi to everyone. it was almost 1 am now. you began to wonder how late you were going to be out tonight.

you suddenly felt two hands on your shoulders causing you to slightly jump.

“you ready for your birthday drink?” Pete shouted in your ear.

“yeah, let’s do it,” you laugh turning to look at him.

“can we get four shots of Fireball?” he shouted to the bartender.

“four?” you shout over your shoulder at him. “I though you weren’t drinking.”

“I’m not. you are. you’re downing all of those.”

“oh god.”

he slapped his hands on your shoulders once more. “you got this, baby.”

the bartender placed the shots in front of you as Pete opened a tab.

“we doing this?” you asked staring at the shots.

“let’s do it.”

you grab your first shot before raising it as a cheers to him. you brought it to your lips and downed it. you felt it burn as it slid down your throat. you squeezed your eyes shut as you finished it.

“that was strong,” you cough.

“next one.”

you down the second one, and then the third one shortly followed. the cinnamon flavor left a burning sensation in your throat.

“last one, last one.” Pete shook your shoulders cheering you on.

“fuck this.” you downed the last one.

--

an hour into your party, it was clear to you that you were feeling very drunk. you had spent the last hour dancing with strangers on the dance floor before slipping back to the VIP section Pete had for you and some of the people at the party. after your first couple shots, he had introduced you to a few people, but at this point, you can’t remember your own name so how could you be expected to remember theirs.

you’re currently sipping on a tequila sunrise now that Pete decided that you handled enough straight liquor. you were slightly leaning on Pete as he stood next to you while you were sitting on one of the barstools for the high tabletops.

“yoooo,” you heard someone call as they approached your table. “dude, whassup.”

Pete leaned over to bro-hug someone before that person began to lean on your table next to Pete. you could hear their muffled conversation as you played with the straw in your drink.

“so what’s this party for anyway?”

“it’s a birthday party,” Pete yelled over the music.

“who’s birthday?”

“hers,” Pete said motioning to you causing you to look up at Pete and his friend. “this is my castmate, (y/n). she just turned 21 so we’re celebrating.”

your eyes met the stranger’s, and you smiled. he was pretty with his bleached-out hair. you gave him a small wave.

“I’m Colson,” he said extending his hand to yours.

“(y/n),” you said taking his hand.

“can I buy a drink for the birthday girl?” he asked flashing you a smile.

“sure,” you said before taking the last sip of your tequila sunrise.

when he brought you back a drink, you stood over your shoulder placing the drink in front of you.

“let’s fucking party.”

“okay,” you shouted before knocking back the drink and taking his hand to lead you to the dance floor.

--

you spent the rest of the night with a set of hands planted firmly around your waist. when you had finally had enough of drinking and dancing, you made your way back over to the VIP section with your six-foot shadow following behind you with his hands still on your hips.

“I’m tired,” you say to Pete as you approach your seat the table. your shadow rested against your back as you hopped up onto the barstool.

“do you want to head home?” Pete asked leaning close to you and your shadow, Colson.

“kinda,” you said leaning your head back on Colson. your drunken state couldn’t careless that you were practically laying against a total stranger.

“do you even have a place to stay tonight?” Pete asked Colson as he looked up from you to the tall guy behind you.

“not really. I could just get a hotel,” you could hear Colson tell Pete.

“you guys can just crash at my apartment. I have a couch and a guest bedroom,” you interrupt as you stare off into space.

“are you sure?” Pete asked.

“yeah, let’s just go home.”

“cool with you?” Pete asked Colson.

“I’m cool,” Colson answered.

10 minutes later, the three of you were sitting in the backseat of a black car, which you assumed was an uber. you head rested against someone’s shoulder as you began to close your eyes.

--

you felt someone jostle you awake. you opened your eyes to find that the uber had parked in front of your building. Pete was leaning in the car once more to help you out. you blinked the sleep out of your eyes as you took his hands. he helped you out of the car just as he had when you got to the club. you felt a pair of hands gently adjust your skirt, and you whipped your head around to find Colson standing behind of you.

“your skirt was riding up, baby,” he said to you while he tapped your hip.

“thanks,” you murmur.

you slapped your keys into Pete’s hand as he went to buzz you in with your code to the building. you began to walk to the door with Colson resting his arm around your shoulder. he kept you walking upright as you both entered the building. you took the elevator up 12 floors.

when you finally stepped foot into your apartment, you stood in the doorway and ripped your heeled boots from your feet. Pete dropped your keys into the bowl by your door, and Colson closed the door behind the three of you.

you turned around to the both of them, almost tripping over your own feet.

“kitchen,” you said pointing to the kitchen, “couch,” pointing to the living room, “guest room,” pointing to the guest room, “bathroom,” you pointed to the bathroom door. “there’s extra blankets in the closet,” you said pointing to the small closet by the bathroom. “help yourself to anything. I’m going to sleep.” you gave them a salute before turning around to your bedroom.

they laughed lightly as you slammed the door behind you.

as you stumbled into your room, you plugged your phone into the charger on your nightstand. after your phone was charging, you slipped your skirt and turtleneck off before slipping on an oversized t-shirt. you quickly wiped off your makeup before falling face down in your bed.

--

the next morning, you woke up with blurry eyes and a fog in your head. you blinked a couple times before rolling over to fall back asleep. you had your eyes closed as you tried to fall back asleep.

that’s when you heard a crash in the kitchen.

you whipped yourself out of bed, and you grabbed the baseball bat from under your bed. you took a deep breath before throwing your bedroom door open. with your bat raised, you lunged out of your bedroom at the intruder.

instead of the intruders, you found Pete and some guy standing in your kitchen messing with your pots and pans.

“jesus fucking christ, Pete, what the fuck?”

“oh, sleeping beauty’s up,” the guy called waving his arms out to you with your skillet and spatula in his hands.

“who is this? and what the fuck are you doing?” you shout annoyed at Pete.

“This is Colson, my friend who you met last night, but guessing from your reaction, you don’t remember much. you let us stay over, and now we are making breakfast,” he said before going back to whatever he was doing.

you felt Colson’s gaze on you. you dropped your bat on your shoulder as you met his stare. you glared into his eyes as he intensely stared back into yours.

“nice bat,” he said still staring.

“thanks, I played softball,” you glared back. “I’m gonna go put some clothes on.”

“you don’t have to,” you heard Colson call back to you as he watched you retreat to your room. from your room, you could hear Pete yell at him in the kitchen.

you laughed lightly as you threw on a pair of sweatpants and put a bra on under your oversized shirt. you took a scrunchie and threw your hair up before heading back to the kitchen.

you plopped yourself down on one of the counter stools in your kitchen.

“what are we eating?” you ask the guys.

“I’m attempting to make pancakes with whatever you have,” Colson called back to you.

“fantastic,” you reply.

“how’s your head?” Pete asked from his spot at the counter.

“it’s not bad. I don’t feel very hungover,” you replied.

“that’s surprising seeing how much you drank last night.”

“what even happened last night?”

“you drank a lot. you danced a lot. then, Colson showed up. then, you drank and danced some more with him.”

“wow,” you mutter staring off into space before you felt Colson staring at you again. you met his eyes before speaking up, “I apologize for that and whatever I did.”

“I didn’t mind,” he said before flipping a pancake.

“it was so funny. you were like one of those velcro monkeys wrapped around him all night,” Pete laughed.

“don’t make fun of me,” you yelled before whacking Pete with a dish towel on the counter. “you’re the one who got me drunk.” they both laughed before you looked up at Colson once more. “I am definitely apologizing for that.”

“I don’t mind. I liked being your arm candy for the night,” he said plopping a pancake on a plate.

you rolled your eyes before opening your phone. “what’s the damage? was there any paparazzi last night?”

“weelllllll,” Pete drew out.

“what?” you whine dropping your head a bit.

“there’s a few from when we left the club, and they followed us back to your building so there’s a few from then too. there’s two articles running already.”

“just because we went out for drinks?” you ask motioning between you and Pete.

“no, because we,” Colson motioned between the three of you. “went out for drinks.” he dropped a plate in front of you. “apology pancakes for the tabloids.”

“how thoughtful,” you murmur. “what did the articles say?”

“nothing just speculation,” Pete said taking a drink. “it’ll go away. you just might want to keep away from Colson for a while.”

“you’re kidding,” you said opening your phone before typing your name into safari.

you scrolled through the new section before you found the pictures from last night. in the pictures, Colson had his arm wrapped around your waist as you were shielding your eyes from the flash. you assumed these pictures were from when you left the club. the other pictures were of the guys helping you out of the car. Colson was standing behind you, towering over you with his arm around you. it totally looked like the two of you were a thing with how touchy you two were. you were not a touchy person when you were sober. you could only assume that the alcohol turned you into a velcro monkey as Pete put it. you briefly skimmed the articles only to find that they were speculating that you and Machine Gun Kelly, Colson Baker, were in a relationship.

“Machine Gun Kelly. you’re Machine Gun Kelly?” you ask him, squinting your eyes at Colson.

he and Pete laughed at you.

“I was wondering if you were going to put it together,” Pete laughed. “that took you forever.”

“well, I’m sorry, but I was drunk.”

“you knew I was friends with MGK,” Pete laughed.

“I didn’t think you were going to invite him to my birthday party.”

“so I take it you’re a fan?” Colson said raising an eyebrow at you.

“I’m not actually. I haven’t even heard your stuff. I’m not really into rap,” you said to him.

“ouch. that’s rough,” he sighed.

“sorry,” you shrugged. “thanks for the pancakes though.” you give him a smile before taking a bite.

Pete’s phone buzzed before he got up from his stool.

“shit, I have to go. I have to take my mom to the airport. are you going to be okay if I leave you?” Pete asked staring at you.

“yeah, I’ll be fine. tell your mom hi for me,” you said looking up at him.

“okay, bye kid. happy birthday.” he wrapped his arms around you.

“thanks for getting me drunk. I had fun,” you said patting his arm.

“yeah, I know,” he called back as he headed to your door.

“be safe,” you shouted before he closed your front door, leaving you with Colson in your kitchen.

you and Colson took a pause as you both watched the door. he was the first to break his gaze as he turned to you. you both made eye contact as you both stared at each other.

“so,” you started.

“so,” he replied leaning down on your counter to stare at you at your eye level.

“so.”

“so, what do we do now?”

“we can watch tv, or you can tell me about last night,” you suggest before shoving another bite into your mouth.

you were not bashful when it came to eating, and you were not deterred by Colson staring into your eyes as you chewed, even if he was really pretty.

“what do you want to know?” he said. his gaze never leaving your eyes.

“we seemed very touchy in those photos,” you hummed taking another forkful of pancakes.

“can’t help that your kinda hot.”

“wow,” you scoff leaning back from the counter. “this is hot for you,” you say shoving the pancakes in your mouth.

“very,” he laughed.

you peered an eye up at him, skeptically. you couldn’t tell if he was being serious. there was no way that someone as pretty as he was would be interested in you.

he extended his hand out to you face as your eyes watched it move to your lip. he flicked a piece of pancake from your lip before smiling at you. you heart practically jumped out of its chest.

fuck. you were crushing.

--

the two of you hung out and talked for the next hour. you both flirted a bit back and forth. you felt this undeniable connection to him, and it made you feel sick. you were notorious for running from people and your feelings. you always chickened out before saying anything to them, and then when you finally got the courage to, that person had already found somebody else.

“fuck, I should go,” Colson said throwing his head back on the couch from where the two of you were sitting. “I don’t want to though.”

“I need to shower and get started with some pitches for work tomorrow,” you say lightly placing your head on the back of the couch.

“okay, I’ll go.”

“I’ll walk you down.”

he took your hand in his as he got up from the couch. he pulled you up as he grabbed his jacket from where it was placed on the arm of the couch.

you grabbed your keys before he pulled you out the door. you closed the door behind you before the two of you waited for the elevator.

you laced your fingers with his as you stepped into the elevator. here goes nothing, you breathed.

“I had a lot of fun with you,” you say staring straight at the doors of the elevator.

he turned to you with you fingers still locked with his. “I really like you.”

“cool, cool,” you say as you saw the number on the elevator tick to floor 6. you turn to him. “I should give you my number.”

he slipped you his phone, and you typed your number into his phone before handing back to him.

“cool, cool,” he started as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

1

2

3

you counted before grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down to your height. you stood on your tiptoes, and you placed your lips on his. he grabbed your face as he kissed you back.

the elevator dinged as the doors opened. you broke away from him as you shoved him out the doors.

“call me sometime,” you say as you stood alone in the elevator.

“aye aye captain,” he saluted you. he moved back toward the elevator before pulling you back to him. “one more for the road.” he kissed you until you couldn’t breathe.

you finally pulled away for air while he held his hands on your head.

“you’re fucking gorgeous.”

“you’re not too bad yourself. now go so I can work,” you said fully pulling away before the elevator alarm was set off. “Bye Colson,” you said hitting your floor button.

“Bye (y/n),” he waved as the doors shut.

--

as you made your way back to your apartment, your phone dinged.

unknown number: hi velcro monkey

you rolled your eyes as you entered your apartment. this man was going to be the death of you.

.

.

.

first Colson Baker imagine. feel free to send requests. - rose xx

[misslilli]

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 27 - Embarrassments And Evil Plans

[ FM ]

It’s not like I planned it or anything, but on the same day next week, I find myself back outside, walking the streets of Plymouth. Last weekend, snow has finally fallen but it had melted right away, leaving an ugly brown slush in the streets and pools of water on the floors. Somehow, I end up in front of the only Starbucks in town, oh what a coincidence.

I enter the coffee shop a little too exuberant for the wet floor and my dress shoes, so before I can catch myself, I slip in the puddle and fall face first to the floor. It knocks the air right out of me, stupid snow!

“Well well… isn’t it a nice surprise to have a man fall at your feet, in a Starbucks of all places.” I recognize the teasing voice even without looking up, my face burning with embarrassment. When I do look up, I’m faced with a smirking Scully waiting in line for her weekly sugar fix.

“Are you okay?,” she asks between laughs after she helped me up.

“Aside from my wounded ego? Yeah, fine.” I grumble at her laughter, that’s not helping little lady.

“Sorry. Come on, I’ll buy you and your fractured ego some coffee.” We step up to the counter to the eagerly waiting barista.

“Black coffee for Bob.” she says. “Peppermint Mocha, sweet cream foam and an extra shot of espresso for Nancy.” I say.

She hands over her credit card and at the end of the counter, as we wait, she raises an eyebrow at me. “Nancy? Really? Next time, I’m choosing the undercover names!” ‘She said next time!’

“I’m curious about that sugar mixed with more sugar concoction of yours, can I get a sip?” She gives me a ‘Yeah right’ look.

“Nu-huh, you’ve proven youself to be a concoction-snob, you’re not getting a sip.”

“Ouch, there goes my recently mended fractured ego again!”

As if we’ve never been doing anything else, we walk out of Starbucks and turn to head towards the junction where we’ll have to part ways.

“You should really invest in some sensible winter boots, city boy! These are just a safety hazard!” I burn my tongue on my coffee with a hiss.

“That won’t go well with the GQ cover look I’m going for, to be honest.”

“Well, maybe you should consider modeling for Land’s End if you don’t want to kill yourself in the winter that’s about to come!”

When she almost slips herself in her high-heeled boots, I offer her my arm. “Maybe you should start by taking your own advice, being on the Vogue side of the shoe department yourself!”

“I need all the height I can get, otherwise I won’t be able to see across the Starbucks counter.” I chuckle, taking another sip, my tongue still burning.

“Sooo how has your week been so far?” She goes on to tell me stories about her kids at school and the girls, then I tell her about my new case, as much as I’m allowed to, anyway. I also tell her about how my mother, while very helpful, is slowly driving me up the wall.

Skirting the fine line between friends and flirting, we never actually talk about what we are to each other now. I’m just glad we’re on speaking terms again and enjoy her company. Also, I’d rather chew my own arm off before I put myself into the friend zone voluntarily. We don’t arrange to meet anywhere else, like on a date - that would be like pouring gasoline over the line and setting the damn thing on fire.

We part ways with a short hug and head off in different directions, the coffee and something else warming us up from the inside.

—————

[ Teena ]

Over the course of the past few weeks, I’ve seen quite an improvement happening with my son, he’s not obsessing over work anymore and he seems to be getting better. Why, I can’t say, maybe it’s therapy, maybe it’s me taking care of him, maybe it’s something entirely different, like what’s happening during his walks on Tuesdays he keeps insisting on.

Either way, I’m glad that he’s doing better, I hate seeing him hurting.

Felix and I are spending a lot of quality time together and I marvel at the amazing child he’s become, despite his history. His mother is a piece of work in itself, she’s late every single time she picks him up from school, and this week, of course she does it again.

The call from Principal Skinner comes on the landline and I happen to be the one who takes it, which is how I found out about this situation in the first place. Felix doesn’t like to talk about it and, knowing my opinion of his ex-wife, Fox avoids talking to me about her like the plague.

The weekend passes, we talk, we cook, we laugh, we reminisce about the old days and I can’t wait for Sunday evening, when Felix returns with his mother.

She sends him into the house without coming in, which is rude in its own way, so I leave the two boys to themselves and step out of the house. “Diana, a word please.”

She’s surprised to see me there and I wonder if she talks to her son at all during those weekends because if she did, I’m sure he’d mention that I’m staying at their house for a while.

“I heard that you were late for pick-up again this Friday.” The defiant look she gives me is not new, I’ve seen it a thousand times when I tell her how I feel about her parenting abilities. She doesn’t think I have a say in the matter, but I’ve raised two children and I’m fiercely protective of them as well as my grandson.

“And…?,” she has the audacity to ask.

“It’s disrespectful to your child and his needs that you don’t seem to care enough to be on time. We’d appreciate it if you made an effort to be on time from now on. Goodnight.” Not waiting for a reply, I close the door in her face. I’ve said all I had to say.

—————

[ Felix ]

“… and a partrige in a pear treeee.” We finish singing all thousand verses of The 12 days of Christmas just before the bell rings for recess, proud that we mostly got it right. It’s really hard!

Sitting in my designated spot on the teacher’s bench, I take my chance of talking to Miss Anderson alone while Miss Scully is settling yet another fight between her kids on the playground.

“Hey Miss Anderson, can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure Felix, what’s up?”

“It’s about the trip to the Chocolate Factory on the last Thursday before Christmas. My dad’s coming on it too to chaperone and I was wondering if you could maybe put him with another group? I know it’s not very nice but I don’t want him to ruin my good reputation. He’s such a dork!” The last part I stage-whisper, to the laugh of Mrs. Anderson.

“It’s not very nice, no, but I get it, it’s no fun if your parents come on school trips. I’ll see what I can do, alright?”

An idea has formed in my head since the day dad told me he’d be coming on the school trip, an evil genius idea. I hope Miss Anderson will go along with it.

Feigning nonchalance, I swing my legs, pretending that this idea just popped into my head right now. This is the most important part in my evil plan so I need to get it right.

“Soooo… maybe we could put him with the fourth grade kids? They’re randy and loud and they fight so much, I think they need someone like dad to keep them in line!” That’ll teach him not to come on school trips anymore, hee hee.

Why Miss Anderson looks at me with surprise, I have no idea, but she agrees. Yes! My evil plan has been set in motion.

[wrestling0neshots]

It's Only A Storyline - Kane

One heated segment for an upcoming feud sends your boyfriend, who didn't know about the segment, into a jealous rage. It's your job to make sure no one gets hurt. Requested by the_unkn0wn_writer Originally posted on Archive Of Our Own ---------------------------- "3.. 2.. 1." The director of the segment gives you a thumbs up, indicating that the cameras are sending live feed to the titantron. You look past the camera, watching Randy as he walks over and into frame.

"Like what you see?" He asks, you flick your eyes up to meet his, rather than staring at his body. "What do you want, Orton?"

He smirks, "oh, there are many things I want Y/n. You being one of them." You actively try not to let yourself cringe at his cliché words, the fact someone wrote this script for you to act out. Instead you choose to go for a slightly amused and flirty look.

"I'm preoccupied at the moment." Randy's smirk becomes more of a grin, he leans close to you, resting his forearm on the wall.

"I noticed" he says, sarcasm dripping from each word he says, "I also noticed you'd be better off with me" He licks his bottom lip. You take in a deep breath, which you know will read differently to anyone watching.

To them it'll look like you're caught up on his words, when in reality you're preparing yourself for what is to come. Both later in the segment and ultimately what will come after.

"Really? I don't know about that." You reply, the flirtatious tone in your voice coming through stronger than you'd thought it would.

He leans closer, his nose brushing yours. "How about I give you a free trial?" He asks, quickly capturing your lips in a deep kiss before you can respond.

Despite your internal fight, knowing exactly what's going to happen once the camera's aren't rolling, you make the scene look more than convincing. You're an actor, here to sell the moment to the crowd. You agreed to do the segment, this storyline (albeit in secret), and you plan on making it the best it can be, even despite your relationship outside of this shot.

Your arms wind up around Randy's neck, his free hand on your waist. He pulls away slowly, keeping his face close to yours. He smiles down at you, and you back up at him.

"Great job guys!" The director says. Randy pushes himself away from you giving you a genuine smile rather than the boyish grin he had been giving while the cameras were rolling.

"That was good, I'm glad you could put your nerves aside." He says. "I wouldn't say I put them aside, just didn't let them show. I know what's still to come." You reply, sighing.

"I take it Kane wasn't fond of the idea of you and I being the reason for the feud starting." You scratch the back of your neck nervously, letting out a small laugh.

"I uhh.. I actually didn't tell him." You say. "Oh." "Yeah. That's why I'm so nervous."

Randy stands there awkwardly, unsure of how to react. "Why didn't you tell him?" The Legend Killer asks you suddenly.

"I knew he'd flip out and make sure it didn't happen. It's started now and he can't stop it from going ahead. That was why I didn't." Randy nods, understanding where you're coming from.

Everyone knows that when it comes to you Kane is very protective and gets jealous quickly. His jealousy has, on more than one occasion, ended in someone getting threatened. Usually drunken idiots or creeps at the bar, although you wouldn't put it past him to get riled up over a scripted romance.

"Let's hope he takes it well." Randy says. You nod, you do hope that. Unfortunately before you can continue the conversation you hear the trail of carnage coming your way. You push off of the wall, standing in the center of the hall.

It doesn't take long for Kane to come in to sight, he's clearly pissed. So blinded by his jealous rage that he completely blanks you once he sees Randy.

Kane charges down the hall, crew barely pulling their equipment out of the way as he storms past. As he approaches you attempt to calm yourself with a deep breath, which works surprisingly well.

You see him going to move around you but you move to stand in his way. So he moves again, and so do you. His eyes are still fixed on Randy, who you're sure is trying not to look nervous behind you.

Kane goes to move again and once again you block his path. This time his attention travels to you. "Get out of the way, Y/n." Kane demands. "No. I won't." You reply, standing your ground. You have to.

"Get out of the way so I can give Randy what he deserves." Kane's voice is almost a growl, although it doesn't phase you, this was sort of expected with you knowing how far you would have to go with the kiss.

"Drop the tone with me. You're not threatening anyone." His eyes flash with anger, lips tightening into a thin line.

"Oh I won't be threatening him." Kane goes to step around you again, this time as well as moving in his way you place your hands on his arms.

"Listen to me, Kane. It's for a storyline, got it? For a feud. Between him and you. I should have told you before, so if you're going to blame anyone for the situation then blame me." Kane stares down at you, holding your gaze for painfully long seconds.

You discreetly signal to Randy to leave, knowing it will help diffuse the situation if his presence is gone.

You don't have time to think about whether or not Randy is gone, Kane leaning down and placing his lips on yours. The kiss is filled with his emotion, it's deep and passionate, his hands pulling you closer to him. It's rough, full of anger, and yet still gentle.

Behind his jealous feelings you can feel his feelings for you shining through. He pulls away slightly, realising Randy is gone.

"You let him get away." Kane breathes, although his voice is calm. "I did." You reply quietly, "I'm sure you can forgive me." You press your lips to his again, Kane quickly deciding to deepen this kiss as well.

When he pulls away again you're breathless, a smile on your face. "I hope he knows what he's getting himself into." Kane says.

"Forget about Randy. Focus on me." Kane's eyes twinkle mischievously, you've seen that look enough times to know what it means.

"Oh I will, don't you worry. Go start the car, I'll get the bags. Once we get back to the hotel all focus will be on you." He pulls the car keys out of his back pocket, placing them in your hand.

"Don't be long." You say, giving him one last kiss before the two of you head in opposite directions, both as eager as the other to get out of the arena and somewhere more private.

[sp00kyjellybeans]

what your horror movie crush says about you!

This is a new series im doing lol send a message to my inbox for the next movie!

And why not start with the original Scream cast! btw this is purely my opinion, jokes and jabs... so don’t take it too seriously

Billy Loomis: This is the obvious choice I feel like. If you’re not too deep on slasher tumblr I’d say you’re a little basic but I can see the appeal. If you are deep on slasher tumblr you are DEDICATED to this man. No one comes above. I also feel like you kinda have a savior complex... like “i can fix him” type beat. It’s also possible that you get offended when ppl say that he’s overhyped and not that hot. You also like a little toxicity because it adds “spice.” You’re also submissive. 

Stuart Macher: You’re definitely a little manic. That or you’re either super shy who likes the hyper guys who brings you out of your shell or you’re wanting someone to match your energy. You also think Stu is underrated and perhaps that Billy ppl need to give the hype to Stu for once. You find his parts so goddamn funny/entertaining too, like he has so little screen time so you enjoy every bit you get. He’s also your emotional support himbo. You’d probably thank him for stabbing you and find his ghostface scenes super hot. You like roleplay (yes, in the sexual way.) You also drink monster energy. 

Randy Meeks: You are so soft. Like you might not look like it but you at least act like it. You can’t get over his death either and you’re a little mad at Wes Craven for allowing that. Anyway you usually go for nerdy guys one way or another, you wouldn’t mind if they simped for you. You also tend to make the first move when it comes to anything. You might like him also bc you’re a horror fanatic and you’re a little elitist because you’ve watched so many. You also probably have his mini speech about rules memorized. You might be a little freaky but not as much as Billy and Stu ppl (or ppl that like both.)

Sidney: I’m either in love with you or wanna be your best friend. Ppl who have crushes on Sidney have my heart. You like to go endgame with whoever you’re with but if you happen to end up with a pretty boy like Billy you have definitely been a little worried he would try to kill you (but lets be real you kind of want it to happen. the 90s tried demonizing hot men and it didn’t work. it just made horndogs like us on tumblr come out to find each other.) You like to keep things simple and you most likely stick to a routine. You’ve also thought about what you would do as a final girl in a horror movie numerous times. I’m getting vanilla vibes. I’m going to assume you’re a hufflepuff, too. 

Tatum Riley: You guys are rare honestly, but you’re really cool people. Tate is truly an underrated character and so pretty. You’re also pretty fluid with just about anything and want relationships to be chill with no pressure. Before you had a crush on her you probably wanted to be her. Which brings on the point you’re probably a lesbian. You also love her wardrobe and that leads me to believe that y’all have a really good sense of style. Getting earth sign vibes. Random I know but I get that sense. Your sun or venus is probably an earth sign. 

Dewey Riley: Also kind of rare. You like a hopeless romantic. In a way you’re cheesy and you like cheesy but you want someone who’s actually dedicated to you. You also really like angst in fanfiction, idk argument scenes just really make you feel something at 2am on a Tuesday night. If you’re acab you’ll only accept Dewey and Charlie Swan as cops, no one else. You’ve probably watched the You Cannot Kill David Arquette documentary. Also vanilla vibes here.

Gale Weathers: I don’t believe that you exist honestly. If you’re number one crush is on Gale you probably like Courtney Cox in everything that she’s in and you’ll defend Gale’s bangs in Scream 3 with your life. You either hate her and Dewey’s relationship or love it. No in between. You probably also major in journalism and you’re one of the hardcore reporters. No remorse. Just coverage. 

[vic-chaos]

OH GOD OKAYYYYY I’ve actually watched it now (I haven’t been online yet to see what anyone else is saying though, I’ll be interested to see theories....) let me formulate some thoughts now that I actually can sjdhfbsjfsfd

First of all Cartman:

Alright but actually sjfhgbsdjgfhbsdjghsdfg it was horrible, truly.......... but there is a saving grace bc I think Kyle is 100% right and he did all of this just to fuck with him + because he’s obsessed with him lmao 😭 (and its just like with jennifer lopez when nobody believed him that Cartman would spend that much time/go to such lengths just to fuck with people and he was right then too). There’s also a LOT about Cartman and his family that’s super off and telling, his wife’s and kid’s names etc.

Me rn grasping at kyman’s feet like I never thought I’d say this but you saved my fucking life JSHDBJDVDSF 😭 thank fucking god, okay *pulls my head out of the river I was drowning myself in* its fine we’re gonna be fine, its fine.

I will also just add that I’m happy he was still fat even though he looked really bad otherwise. Oh and I do think its cute he has glasses (but they could have been like..... a less unflattering fit as well!!?? help shdbsdhfbs)

There’s also a lot about this future that’s weirdly off, which is kind of interesting? It’s also clearly meant to be terrible, and that does kind of comfort me because everyone is so fucked up, I’m glad this is a worst case scenario type deal and one that will be erased when they fix the past.

Stan is in such bad shape too....... I hate that he basically turned into his dad and is still an alcoholic, plus what happened with Shelly and Sharon!!?!? This is such a horrible outcome for him I’m so glad it won’t be his real future 😭 Token joining the police after they racially profiled and shot him as a kid, worst outcome for him..... and Clyde being an antivaxxer jdsfsbfsbdfsdf everything about this future was so evil 😭

(Also what was up with just some people randomly having those round things on their heads LMAO........)

But okay onto the good things:

I’m in love with Kenny... I’m obsessed with him bgsbdfbsbsdfb he was SO good 😭 the beard and the tummy and the shirt LMAO.... the women in bikinis in the pool with him (and a millionaire omg!!!) plus his voice always being muffled or cut off was funny. And him calling out the others on their past behaviour.... It was perfect really, he was the best thing about the whole special.

There were a few things that did make me laugh really loud and the old person on the loose sign gjsjfhsdhshdshds

I feel like I was right about the Randy redemption stuff, and also that they will be time travelling back to stop the broship from ever breaking up. I’m so desperate for them to reconcile their friendship and just be together again..... please...... 🥺

Last of all I am of course going to be going insane until we get to see Butters.... I’m SO curious about wtf happened to him (and also what he looks like, though my expectations are now VERY low, with what they did to my boy 😭) I am loving the chaos angle though. I can’t believe it ended on a cliffhanger and now we have to wait fuck knows how long *SOBS*

[south-park-meta]

do you have a description for Kyle's and Gerald's relationship?

just if it's not to much.

I started reading your analysis. I love them. I'm curious to know if you have any thoughts about their relationship.

Aw, thanks! I can try, I just relate to Stan a lot more so I'm probably going to miss some things.

Kyle and his dad seemed to have a fine relationship earlier on in the show. Kyle's key relationship is with his mom vs Stan's being with Randy, so there is less to go off of than with his relationship with Sheila. But I'd say earlier seasons of South Park had both of Kyle's parents supportive of him and willing to talk to him. Kyle in turn often turns to his parents for advice, and believes that going to adults for advice in general is the way to handle situations he can't. His parents encourage getting support through counseling/therapy like Stan's do. They make sure he stays connected to his religion even in a town that has little support. They do quite a bit to encourage him to be connected to people.

There's a few unhealthy components. The first is a family-wide issue that Kyle's guilt is just MASSIVELY higher than it should be. Guilt is a healthy response, but it's been taken to unhealthy levels and often leads to his martyrdom. This is something that's ingrained in both his religion in general and his family specifically.

The more Gerald-specific unhealthy component is that Gerald is self-centered, narcissistic, and materialistic. This can be seen even in the very beginnings of the show, like Chickenpox in S2:

Gerald You see, Kyle, we humans work as a society, and in order for a society to thrive, we need gods, and clods.

Kyle Gods and clods?

Gerald Yes. You see, I spent a lot of time going to law school, and I was able to go because I have a slightly higher intellect than others. But I still need people to pump my gas, and make my French fries, and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down.

Kyle Oooohh, I see. Gods and clods!

Gerald That's right. So Kenny's family is happy just the way they are, and we're all a functioning part of America.

I think marking himself as 'god' in this conversation really shows why Gerald and Kyle's relationship has been growing worse and worse and is now absolutely horrendous. Gerald sees himself as God. All important, especially in a little dinky town like South Park. He has a good image: He has money, he has a nice house, he has a wife, he has 2 kids. The American dream stereotype. All of these things he sees as an extension of himself, a projection of what he wants to be. He doesn't actually care about any of them the way he cares about himself.

He had a better relationship with Kyle earlier on because Kyle was a kid who took his opinion at face value more. Who was more likely to adopt Gerald's opinion as his own, even if they're shitty. 'Oooohh, I see! Gods and clods!' It's coming from his dad so it makes sense in ways it might strike Kyle as wrong coming from anyone else. Kyle is a fitting extension of himself when it counts.

But Kyle gets older. Kyle starts having his own opinion on things. Kyle starts seeing more things Gerald thinks is funny are wrong. Season twenty Kyle wouldn't accept 'Gods and Clods' the way season 2 Kyle does.

in Oh, Jeez, when Gerald facetimes Ike:

Gerald Hi Ike, it's Daddy. Everything OK there? [Ike look around] Listen, buddy, you remember how we talked about trolling and just between us guys we agreed it was pretty funny? [Kyle walks by Ike's room, hears Gerald's voice and stops to look inside] Well it turns out that even the-

Kyle Dad! [runs into Ike's room] Where are you?

Gerald Oh, hey Kyle.

Kyle Dad, what's going on? Mom is freaking out.

Gerald Tell your mom everything's fine, okay? I'm helping out the government. It's top-secret stuff, but everything's finally gonna be okay.

Kyle No, Dad, I need you back home. Please, I-I'm so confused right now.

Gerald Kyle, you've gotta lighten the fuck up, buddy. Every day with you it's "Dad, I feel guilty about this. Dad, I'm so confused about that." You're a kid. You're supposed to just laugh and make fun of shit. [smiles] Stop being such a pussy, okay pal? Fuck. [hangs up, leaving Kyle a bit stunned]

Ike Daddy called you a pussy.

Gerald's clearly annoyed with Kyle before Kyle even has a chance to talk to him. All Kyle really even says to him is 'I want you home, I need you', and Gerald tells him to fuck off. The kid Gerald WANTS to talk to is the baby, the one who's young enough he thinks he can still get on his side in finding trolling funny. Not the kid who's voicing his own opinions and doesn't even find Terrance and Philip farting in each other's faces funny anymore.

So, yeah. This relationship was only two ways when Gerald could get Kyle to parrot his own thoughts back to him. Now that Kyle's more and more his own person, he's a waste of time. Kyle still loves and wants his dad's attention and help, and Gerald couldn't care less about him. I maybe wouldn't say he despises Kyle or would never help him, but it's clear Kyle lost value to him the more Kyle's moral compass grew.

[lazywonderlvnd]

this is a tiny soft birthday piece for @l0vegl0wsinthedark -- you deserve way more than u think u do my angel and i hope this lifts ur spirits just enough to enjoy ur day like u should (and while i’m finishing a whole ass fic for you) happy birthday ilysm ❤️❤️❤️

includes: lots of weed smoking, kissing boys, and a room full of gryffindors and slytherins getting along

The chair is definitely made for one person, but that hasn’t stopped Draco from making himself comfortable on Harry’s lap in an entitled manner reminiscent of Crookshanks. In fact Crookshanks, in Harry’s opinion, looks a bit annoyed at the stolen bit of real estate. He’s contented himself with Ron’s lap but he’s watching Draco with an almost human expression of contempt.

There’s a layer of smoke sitting stagnant at about head height, like a potent cloud, that Harry had noticed five minutes ago and can’t unsee now. Had they really smoked that much?

He looks around the room: at Seamus, who is speaking rapidly and with extravagant hand gestures to Blaise in an Irish accent so thick Harry can make out only one in five words; at Hermione, with one of the two circulating joints in hand, laughing with tears in her eyes at something Ginny’s just said; at Luna, holding the other and staring peacefully off into space, completely unaware of Pansy sneaking glances at her. Yes, perhaps they had smoked that much. Goyle looks utterly blazed too, his eyes bloodshot and slitted, fingers positively caked with cheese dust from a bag of crisps. 

Bringing his focus back round to Draco on his lap — who is, from his position, engaged in conversation with Dean — Harry gives a great yawn and shifts a bit, trying to relieve the slight tingling in his right leg. Draco readjusts himself without missing a beat, moving some of his weight around to Harry’s other thigh and continuing uninterrupted in his spiel about … well, Harry’s not sure, really. He thinks it’s something about some artist or another, Draco’s current obsession.

“Harry!” 

He turns, blinking, to see Hermione holding the joint towards him and shaking it. The ash falls off and lands on the carpet.

“Oh — oops,” she giggles. “Sorry. I said your name a million times. Here, take it, it’s yours.”

He leans over the arm of the chair to reach out as far as he can while being weighed down with Draco, stretching towards her on the sofa, and just manages to snag it with his fingertips. She pulls out her wand and cleans the ash, then turns back to Ginny.

Harry drops his head back and takes a hit, pulling the smoke into his lungs, holding it there, and then blowing it out towards the ceiling. He watches with fascination as it joins seamlessly with the larger cloud. He’s become completely neutralised to the smell of the weed but he keeps getting whiffs of Draco’s shampoo, a brand new one he keeps raving about that’s supposed to work all kinds of wonders on his scalp and hair follicles. All Harry really gives a shit about, though, is that Draco’s smelled like coconut lately, which he very much likes.

He lifts his head and takes another hit, but this time he brings his mouth close to Draco’s ear and blows the smoke into it, causing him to cringe away, startled, while Dean starts laughing.

“You’re so fucking annoying when you’re high,” says Draco, trying for scolding except that his eyes are bright and he can’t quite keep a smile off his face. “Give me that.” He snatches the joint from Harry and brings it to his lips, letting the smoke drift out through his nose and looking like the world’s loveliest and smallest dragon. He must see the way Harry’s looking at him because after he takes his second hit he leans down with a coy grin and Harry meets him halfway in a kiss so Draco can breathe the smoke into his mouth. His tongue follows shortly after and Harry loves the way he can taste the weed on it, earthy and bittersweet. 

He loses himself in it quickly, his hazy, sluggish brain happily forgetting the presence of eight or nine of their friends around them as he drinks his fill. All that’s real or matters is the warm, solid weight of Draco in his lap, the smell of weed and coconut, his soft lips and wet tongue and the gentle fingers on his jaw, stroking lightly. His own hand, the one not draped behind Draco’s back, finds his hip and snakes beneath his shirt, just enough to graze warm skin. Draco smiles against his mouth and hums into the kiss before pulling away and trailing his lips towards Harry’s ear.

“I’d settle down if I were you,” he says softly, his breath tickling Harry’s neck. It’s only then that Harry realises he’s got a semi that’s beginning to dig into Draco’s arse and he lets out a quiet laugh. Just to be cheeky, he brings his lips to Draco’s jaw and kisses down his neck, grinning when he feels Draco shiver.

“But I’m enjoying myself so much,” he whispers, hand sliding from Draco’s hip to his lap, where he squeezes over his half-hard cock, causing him to squirm and gasp in surprise. He grabs Harry’s hand and pulls it away with pink cheeks while Harry laughs against his neck.

“Oi, d’you two fucking mind!” comes Dean’s voice, and Harry looks up to see him watching them with raised eyebrows.

“You don’t have to watch,” Harry tells him, ripping his hand out of Draco’s grip to squeeze his thigh this time, delighted by the squawk of indignation.

“Draco’s still holding the joint, you pillock,” says Dean. “And he’s about to singe your arm with it.”

“I’m not about to singe anybody, you troglodyte,” Draco says, whipping round to glare at him. “Not all of us are bumbling Gryffindor barbarians born without a trace of elegance in our blood —”

“Ow!” Harry yells, snatching his arm from around Draco’s back when something scalding hot touches his skin. Dean descends into howls of laughter while Draco takes Harry’s arm and starts apologising profusely. He goes as far as chucking the joint at Dean, whose laughter subsides as it lands in his lap and he jumps out of his chair before it can burn him. Harry can see it beginning to burn a hole in the carpet.

This is not by any means the first time this carpet has seen a lit joint. Hermione has fixed most of the damage but here and there are obvious reminders, which Harry actually quite likes. There is, he thinks, such a thing as too much cleanliness and perfection. If a burn mark on his carpet is a memory of a good time, he can’t see what’s so bad about it.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Draco coos, lifting his arm and pressing a soft kiss to the tiny burn mark.

“You did that on purpose,” says Harry, affecting a deep, childish frown that makes Draco laugh. He cups Harry’s cheeks and kisses his lips once, twice, three times, then his cheek, before pulling away.

“Better?”

“Oh, I’ll need more than that if you wanna make up for burning me,” Harry tells him, cheeky grin back in place. Draco rolls his eyes and Harry hears both Dean and Ron making retching noises while Seamus wolf-whistles.

“Who has the other joint?” Dean asks as he drops the roach into an ashtray on the coffee table. “Someone needs to roll a new one.”

“Harry, you do it,” says Pansy. “Blaise did the last two and they were terrible.”

“What the fuck?” Blaise says, glaring at her. “They were fucking decent, what’re you on about?”

“Harry?” Pansy presses, ignoring him. “Will you? Yours are the best.”

“That’s because he’s good with his hands,” Draco says, bringing his lips to Harry’s cheek again where Harry can feel him grinning.

“You have to get off my lap then,” says Harry, prompting a heavy pout from Draco that makes him look twelve.

“Just do it on my lap, it’s not that hard.”

Harry huffs out a breath but agrees; he likes Draco’s warm weight and doesn’t really care if it’s a little more difficult to do, but mostly it’s because in spite of the burn he’s still half-hard and doesn’t necessarily need everyone seeing it. Dean brings over the flat tray with a mirrored base that Harry likes to use for this purpose and sets it down on Draco’s lap.

Draco makes a game of kissing his neck while he’s trying to roll the joints, causing him to fumble several times to the general chagrin of the room at large.

When he’s finished, Dean removes the tray and all the scattered, ground-up weed on its surface and takes the joints, lighting them both and handing one off to Seamus so the rounds can begin again. Harry wonders vaguely how long it would take for the whole room to fill with smoke and eventually suffocate them.

Draco’s nuzzling his cheek now and Harry slips his arm back around him.

“We should kick everyone out after they finish these ones,” he hums into Harry’s ear. “I’m very anxious to make up for burning your poor arm.”

Harry laughs and squeezes his hip playfully, but he also feels his cock twitch with interest. Their friends will come again, plenty of times; more important is the very baked, very randy Draco in his lap whose mouth looks more inviting by the minute.

“Yeah, all right,” he agrees. 

“Good,” Draco says and kisses his cheek once again. His touchy-feeliness is one of Harry’s very favourite things about Draco when he smokes. It’s like he can’t help it. “I’m gonna get some lemonade actually, do you want anything, love?”

“I’m okay,” says Harry. “Don’t be long.”

With another kiss — on his mouth this time — Draco stands up and Harry takes the opportunity to swat his arse before he walks away. Draco yelps and blushes and smacks his arm but he’s smiling, and it makes Harry’s heart even lighter than the weed does.

[thadelightfulone]

All I Want... 25 Days of Christmas Challenge, Day 23

December 25th - Part 2

Erik went around the back of the house and set the water down by the coolers. He grabbed one and stopped when he heard a group chatting near the dessert table.

“Did you see that fine ass brother that DeeDee brought home?” 

“Wait, the dude with dreads came with DeeDee?” She slurped her soda, “I thought he was with Crystal.”

“Nope, he’s been up under her all day. I don’t even know what he sees in the Ice Queen?”

“Ice Queen, though? Brittany, you wrong for that.”

“Listen. All I’m saying is that she doesn’t know what to do with all that man.”

“And you think you do?” 

He recognized Phyllis’ voice when she spoke up. 

“Hey Phyll. So, you know who we are talking about?” 

“Of course, I do. And trust me, DeeDee can’t handle him.” Phyllis looked them up and down. “Just like y’all can’t.” She added.

“But you think you can?” 

“Oh, I know that I can. He needs a woman with some experience.”

Erik walked over. “Hey Ladies.” He chuckled at the deer in headlight expressions on their faces.

A chorus of hellos rang out. Brittany and Kori smiled at him. 

“I don’t think I’ve met you all yet. Well, besides Phyllis.” He nodded her way.

She smiled and waved at him.

“We’re DeeDee’s cousins. I’m Brittany.” She pointed at the one with a soda, “And that’s Kori.”

“Nice to meet you both.” He turned to Phyllis, “Have you seen DeeDee, she wasn’t out front when I came back?”

“She went inside with Ma Dear.”

“Great, thanks.” He looked back at them, “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

Erik walked into the house from the backdoor.

“No, the pleasure was all mine,” Brittany said loud enough for Phyllis and Kori to hear her.

She fanned herself with a napkin and they all laughed.

---

DeeDee was with her family in the living room. She was between her mom and Bev on a loveseat. Ma Dear and Miss Carrie were in their recliners. She was talking with her aunts and uncles, who were seated across the room. 

“So niece. Now that you earned your degree, what you gonna do?” Rob asked.

“Look for a full-time position teaching.”

“I thought you were already looking.” Gloria tapped DeeDee on her knee. 

“I have, I am. I visited some schools a few months back.”

“Well, what about your mentors? Isn’t someone retiring?” Ma Dear asked.

“Yeah, Dr. Bell is retiring.” DeeDee said, “She also told me that with the vacancy at Southern, I would be a shoo-in for the position if I applied for it.”

“That’s great news, sweetie.” Randi exclaimed.

 “Yeah, it is.”

“Are you gonna apply for it?” Kay asked. 

“Yeah, I mean I might as well.” 

“When will that be?” AJ spoke.

Erik followed the voices into the family room and waved to everyone. He walked up and stood behind DeeDee.

“As soon as the position is posted.” DeeDee responded, “I don’t know when that will be.”

“Good for you, DeeDee.” 

Erik’s head snapped to the side after the comment. DeeDee rolled her eyes when she heard Brandon’s voice. 

Brittany, Kori, and Phyllis walked in soon afterward. 

“Thank you.” DeeDee muttered.

“That’s right, DeeDee’s finally done with school.” Brittany faked her enthusiasm. 

“Yeah, I just earned my doctorate.”

“Hopefully, she will be my mentor next year.” Brandon winked at DeeDee.

“Not likely.” DeeDee spoke up.

“That’s cute.” Brittany waved her hand in the air.

“So, whose your little friend?” Kori asked.

“Erik, these are my cousins Brittany and Kori,” she pointed them out to him. “You met Bev on Friday.”

Erik smiled at Beverly and nodded towards Brittany and Kori. He placed his hand on DeeDee’s shoulder and she reached up to hold it. 

“So, how long have you two been dating?” Brittany asked. 

Erik gave her shoulder a squeeze and DeeDee took a deep breath before she answered. 

“Long enough.”

“Long enough for what?” Phyllis laughed.

“Does it really matter?” DeeDee eyed Phyllis.

“Actually, it does.”

“To who, Brittany? You and Kori?” DeeDee stood up, “One of you plan to take him like you did Gregory from Crystal?”

“Oooh, little miss DeeDee is getting some and now she think she grown grown.” Kori laughed.

“Oh hunny, he needs a real woman. Someone who can keep up with all of him.” Brittany spat.

“Phyllis, I thought you would be the only one but it looks like I may have to toss out my own flesh & blood, too.” Ma Dear sat up in her chair, “What is wrong with you girls?”

“DeeDee in here acting like she’s better than somebody.” Kori whined. 

“Because she got her degree and a man?” Kay rolled her eyes. “Y’all need to go on with that mess. Be happy for your cousin. He ain’t for you.”

“Yo, Erik you ready to play?” Darrick spoke up from his corner. All heads turned towards him. He grabbed the football from beside him and jumped up.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Erik walked past Brandon, “You should join us.”

“That’s not really my thing.”

Junior pulled Brandon along with him, “All you have to do is catch the ball.”

“You’ll even out the teams, young man.” AJ stood up from his seat and walked out of the room.

“You can impress the ladies, playboy.” Darrick was on Brandon’s other side.

“S- sure, I’ll play with you guys.” 

“Great.” Rob slapped Brandon on the back as he passed him. 

---

Everyone went outside to watch the guys play touch football. DeeDee stayed on the porch with her aunts, Ma Dear and Miss Carrie. Her cousins were standing on the sidelines, even Crystal brought the babies back out to watch the game. The guys split into two teams of 3 - Rob, Junior, Erik and AJ, Darrick, Brandon. 

On the first play, AJ tossed the ball to Darrick. He ran the ball forward and threw it to Brandon, who was shoulder-checked by Erik. Brandon stumbled but was able to stay up.

“My bad, guy.” Erik said as he ran backward away from Brandon. 

Brandon shook it off and took the ball from AJ. He tossed it to an open Darrick, who caught it and ran forward. AJ ran alongside Darrick and protected him from Junior and Erik. Darrick made it to the end of the yard and spiked the ball. 

Claps and cheers came from the women. Darrick waved and bowed towards them.

Next play, Erik started with the ball and snapped it to Junior. Junior ran forward and spun around narrowly missing Darrick. Junior threw the ball to Rob who was checked by AJ. 

After they reset the play, Rob threw the ball to Junior, but it was intercepted by Darrick. Darrick threw the ball to Brandon, who caught it and pivoted to run the ball in the right direction. With the ball at his side, Brandon ran full speed past Rob and Junior until he was clotheslined by Erik right at the endzone.

“Oh my god, Brandon!” Phyllis cried.

The whole group flinched as they watched Brandon fly back and land with the football in his chest. 

“Oooh boy, I know that hurt!” Rob called out.

AJ held his chest in mock pain while Junior and Darrick laughed. Erik walked over and helped Brandon up. 

When they locked arms, Erik pulled Brandon up and into him. 

“Just so we’re clear. DeeDee is off-limits.”

Brandon only wheezed and coughed in his ear. Erik took the ball from him.

“Are we clear?”

“Crystal.” Brandon rasped.

“Great.” 

Erik released his hold on Brandon, who lost his balance and was held up by Darrick and Junior. 

“That’s game everyone.” Rob called out.

---

Ma Dear and Miss Carrie stood up as the younger men brought Brandon back to the house. 

“Is he gonna be ok?” Phyllis followed the guys into the house. 

“Take him to the first bedroom, Junior.” Ma Dear said.

“Yes ma’am.”

Erik walked up to the house with Rob and AJ.

“Nice job, young blood.” Rob clapped him on the back. 

“If you were seeking Ma Dear’s approval, I think you got it.” AJ added.

“I just want hers.”

They all looked up to see DeeDee at the bottom of the steps. Rob and AJ nodded at her as they passed her on the steps. Erik stopped in front of her.

“Ready.” DeeDee blurted out.

“Get your things and we’ll say goodbye.”  

DeeDee bounced back into the house. Erik walked onto the porch, where all eyes were on him.

“Glory!” Randi called across the porch, “Worth it?”

“Absolutely,” Kay answered. 

Gloria stood up and walked towards him, “I know I don’t have to tell you.”

“No ma’am. She’s in good hands.” 

Gloria gave him a hug and then went inside. 

“That she is.” Ma Dear winked at him. “You’re welcome here anytime, Erik.”

“Thank you Ma Dear.” He gave her a hug and held the door open while she walked inside.  

Randi and Kay gave Erik hugs on their way into the house. 

DeeDee came out of the house with her bag and some plates. 

“You get enough baby?” Miss Carrie asked.

“Yes, Mama.”

She waved DeeDee over, “Alright, give me a hug. And let this man take you home.” 

DeeDee and Erik hugged Miss Carrie. She held onto their hands. 

“You be good to each other, ok.” She looked at Erik, “And don’t be a stranger.”

“Yes ma’am” They answered in unison. 

Erik leaned over and pecked her cheek. “Tell Bev, we said bye.”

---

DeeDee reached over for Erik’s hand as soon as they settled into the car. She held them together on her lap. Erik let the smooth jazz Christmas music fill the air as he drove them back to her apartment. When he parked, he turned towards DeeDee.

“What’s on your mind?”

DeeDee doesn’t respond. She just gripped his hand. 

Erik took his other hand and ran it along her cheek, “A penny for your thoughts.”

She sighed and looked at him, “Over pie and ice cream?”

He smiled at her, “If that’s what you want.” 

“Yeah.” She nodded.

He released her hand and got out of the car. DeeDee waited while he came around to her side. Erik opened the door and helped her out. He got the food from the back seat and took her hand back.  

When they entered her place, Erik put the food away in the kitchen and DeeDee went to her room. She came out dressed in a black hoodie and gray yoga pants. 

“Do you want everything in a bowl or on a plate?” DeeDee asked him as she pulled out utensils.

“A plate is fine.” 

“Go get comfy.” She pointed to the back, “I’ll fix everything.”

“I want everything please.” He kissed her cheek and left the kitchen.

When Erik returned, DeeDee was not in the living room. He could hear soft music playing as he walked around. The curtains from her patio were moving. 

“I’m out here.” She called to him.

Erik walked outside and saw her laid out on her chaise lounge. 

“So, you just gonna copy me?” DeeDee pointed at him with her spoon. 

Erik was dressed in a black hoodie and gray sweatpants.

“You aren’t the only one who is comfy dressed like this. I wear suits all day, so I enjoy moments like this.”

He picked up her legs, slid in sideways on the end of the lounge chair and put her legs on his. DeeDee handed him his plate.

They sat in pleasant silence just eating their pie and ice cream. 

“There is so much on my mind and I just feel confused.” DeeDee spoke up.

Erik set his plate on the small table beside DeeDee and turned towards her.

“Start anywhere. What’s the first thing that you want to blurt out?”

“I’m scared, Erik.”

“What’s scaring you?”

DeeDee closed her eyes and then looked up at Erik. “I don’t want to stay here.” 

“So, this is about the newly opened position?” 

“Yes and no.”

“Then don’t apply for it.” 

“They’re basically handing it to me. And everyone expects me to take it.” 

“They expect you to take it, but what do you want?”

“A new opportunity in another state. Remember, I want to teach and travel with my research.” 

“I know that. So what's the real issue, Dee? 

He looked over at her and saw her eyes gloss over. He placed her bowl on top of his plate, grabbed her waist and pulled her into his arms. 

“What if I don’t get any offers? It’s been almost 2 months and I have not heard from anyone. And then there’s you. I mean what about us? This is new and I’m just-” She rushed out and then sighed into his chest. 

Erik lifted her chin so DeeDee was looking at him. “Don’t worry about me. I will be here.” He leaned forward, touching his lips to hers. “I found you and I am not letting you go.” He whispered against her lips. 

“Do you think we can make it work?” She looked up at him, “I mean, from wherever I end up working?” 

“I know we can, but you need to know that, too.” 

DeeDee kissed him back and laid her head against his chest.

He rubbed her back, “We’ll figure it out.”

Taglist: @teakturn @ghostfacekill-monger @shaekingshitup @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @woahitslucyylu @ladymac82 @bugngiz @eyeknowmywrites @ajspencer1892 @arafatih @issimplyaamazinggg @tchallasbabymama @killmonger-fics @beautifullmelodyxx @raysunshine78 @fd-writes @ljstraightnochaser @just-peachee @kaleidoscopeofsoul​ @sincerelykas 

[babyspiderling]

Tiny Dancer p.2

"Just stare into space, picture my face in your hands. Live for each second without hesitation"

"Janet, you can't tell anyone about this." Michael tells her, focused on damage control. Janet fires back without hesitation. "The hell you mean I can't tell anyone? Marlon owes me ten bucks now." I roll my eyes, patting Michael on the back. "Mike,I'm sure your brothers are looking for you. I don't think we want anyone else listening in on this conversation anyways. I'll talk to Jan, ok?" He glances back and forth between his younger sister and I, a concerned look deep in his face. He sighs out an "Ok, fine." and heads back to his dressing room. I turn back to the youngest Jackson. "Listen Jan, I only want what's best for Mike. If it were up to him, and if the circumstances were different, you'd be the first to know on purpose. The world may be changing fast, but we've got a long way to go. The media would flip if word got out that The Michael Jackson was with not only his seamstress, but a white chick at that. Not to mention your father. God, he would kill us if he found out. He'd fire me and i'd never see Michael or any of you again." I deflate in front of her eyes, letting myself show vulnerability to the fifteen year old. "I really do love him Janet. I can't lose him, but I can't just let him risk losing his career over me. I'm the reason we're a secret. Michael is a glass half full person, always trusting and seeking out the positive, but I see what is going to happen if we enter the world of the limelight." When I look into her eyes, her head is cocked to the side, studying me. "Alright, I see where you're coming from. I know Joseph, and you're probably right. Just don't hurt Mike. He's my favorite after all." I nod, relieved that she understood where we are coming from. "I promise to tell you everything you want to know later ok? Maybe at the hotel or while I'm patching up something that the boys unsurprisingly ripped up." Janet giggles, and we make our way back to the rest of the group.

I lay down in the linen sheets of the hotel bed, needing to sleep to be able to get up in the morning to fix a couple of loose buttons and worn knees. I hold a pillow close to myself and let myself float away to dreamland.

The creaking of my door opening stirs me from my slumber. I prop myself up on my elbow, turning on the lamp. "Mike? What's going on?" He's in pajamas, and his hair is mussed. He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, and murmurs out a "Couldn't sleep." I huff and fall back onto the bed. "Fine, get in here. You said so yourself that you sleep better with someone than alone. We've both got an early morning and it's already... 2 AM." His bare feet shuffle across the hotel carpet and the bed slightly creaks as he climbs in next to me. Once he's gotten comfortable, I lay my head on his chest and wrap an arm around him, succumbing to the exhaustion filling my bones.

I wake up to my alarm, letting myself give in to Michaels grip and the temptation to hit the snooze button and spend an extra few minutes in the warmth and security his arms provide. I snuggle close to him and doze off. Once again the door opens up, but I shrug it off, thinking it to be Janet. Instead of her girlish squeal of embarrassment, I hear a masculine shout of surprise. The sharp cry from Randy shocks us both awake. The second youngest Jackson wears an expression of both surprise and smugness. "I knew it! I knew something was going on between you two! Mike, my man, congrats. I knew you'd get her eventually. Now tell me, when did this all start out?" As Michael and I rubbed the sleep from our eyes, Randy had made himself comfortable on the small couch nearby, his chin in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Groaning, I pull myself out of the bed, tugging my shirt down so I don't flash Randy. I pat Michaels shoulder and groan out: "You're taking this one. I talked to Janet last night and I have to get ready. Jackie tore his shirt last night and I've got to make him a new one. Who tears their shirt in the middle of their chest like that?" I sit on my heels to grab my things and head to the bathroom to get dressed.

Finished with make-up, I tie my hair back in a high ponytail. Combing through my hair, Michael enters to get ready himself. "So, how'd it go?" He shrugs a little and reaches for the extra toothbrushes the hotel offers. "Randy promised to keep it a secret until we tell everybody else. He was a little surprised that we've been together since Destiny. He thought it was a recent development, not a three year old relationship." Securing my hair one last time, I turn and smile at my lover. "Well, at this rate, Randy only has to keep it a secret for another 5 days. Go ahead and schedule out a lunch or something for your mother. I want her to know that I love her son more than anything else, and I don't want to keep him a secret anymore. But you have to promise me that if this whole thing goes wrong, your career comes first. You have worked your entire life for this, you are living your dream life, don't throw away your dream for me." He chuckles a bit, and rests his forehead against mine. "If this whole thing goes wrong, I'll hire you again myself. You'll be my personal costumer/seamstress. And no one will be able to get rid of you." I giggle and give a peck to his mouth. "Alright toothpaste lips, finish up and get back to your room. I'm sure you can't go to sound check in your pajamas. And send Janet and Randy back to me. I need her input on somethings and I'm sure Randy has more questions." He finishes up and goes back to his room, the two youngest Jacksons coming in not too much later.

"Alright guys, I'm gonna work some because that is what I'm here to do, but I can answer your questions at the same time." I lay out the fabric on the round table in the room as the two sat down on the couch. They both started talking at the same time, but stopped soon enough. Janet spoke first. "When did this start? How did this start?" I smile at the fabric and respond. "Even when I was growing up, I thought that Michael was the most handsome boy on the planet. But when I started working with you guys 4 years ago I decided to remain professional. This was my dream career and I would not jeopardize it over a celebrity crush. Michael and I became friends not long after, and I actually pushed him away in the beginning. I was so scared that either of us would get attached and it would risk our professional lives. During the music video for Shake Your Body, I was joking around with Marlon and Michael got all huffy. He ranted a little bit and ended up kissing me. It didn't take long until we started actually dating." I flip the fabrics so that the shirt is inside out and pin it together. I move to my machine, and Randy asks: "Why keep it a secret? It's not like anyone here doesn't like you?" I adjust the needle to where I need it and lower the presser foot. "Well, we as a society may have come a long way, but not everyone is going to agree with the fact that Michael Jackson, global superstar, chose to date his seamstress, and then the fact that it's a biracial relationship will send a whole other group into a frenzy. He worked so hard to be where he is, to live his dream, and I felt that if we released our relationship to the public, it could cause a lot of backlash his way. Plus I'm pretty sure that if Joseph found out about us, he'd see me as a distraction, turning his son against him. He'd fire me in an instant. I'd probably never be able to see any of you again. Now that it's suddenly impossible to keep us a secret anymore, we're going to tell Ms. Kathrine soon. Michael is going to schedule it today, and we'll tell her then." Once the two are done with their questions, Janet turns on the radio and we just have a good time until Randy needs to head to the venue. Janet and I finish up, double checking over everything before we accidentally forget anything at the hotel.

We make it to the venue early enough that we make it backstage, and I watch the boys rehearse and just do their thing. Randy meets my eyes from his place behind the bongos, and he sends me a wink. I make my way to the dressing rooms to replace what I fixed for the second night in New York. As I replace the red floral print shirt in Michael's dressing room, my lover walks in. His hair is a little wet from sweat and he has a thin sheen of sweat covering his skin. I giggle as he does his best to freshen up. "I'm glad you don't do sound check in costume. I'd have to make an outfit for every night of the tour, since you guys sweat so much." He sticks his tongue out at me, and then has a mischievous look in his eyes. He turns and creeps towards me, his arms wide to catch me if I tried to escape him. I back away slowly, "Michael, don't do this! I'm a nice person! I just took a shower!" I go to make a break for the door but he catches me and pulls me close, squeezing me tight and rubbing his sweaty face and body all over me. "Michael Joseph Jackson! I'm going to kill you! I'll put you in an outfit from '68!" He just giggles in my ear, enjoying my shrieks and squirms. "No you won't, you love me too much." I push at his arms, trying to get out of his grip. "Not anymore! Randy's my new favorite member!" He bites at my earlobe teasingly, his breath fanning over the shell of my ear, his voice dropping from the usual airy high pitch he speaks in. "Are you sure about that, girl?" I shiver and stutter at the distraction, "Fine, you called my bluff. Now can you please let me go? I need to know when we're telling your mother." Reluctantly, Michael loosens his grip enough for me to grab the towel he used, wiping my own skin down, and I rummage through my purse for my bottle of vanilla. Michael takes a seat and smiles at me. "Girl, you know I get hungry when you wear that stuff. Smelling all sweet and stuff." I chuckle and apply the vanilla to key points. "Tell you what. When we go out to tell your mother I will buy you any dessert you want after." I watch from the mirror as he lifts himself from his seat and slots himself behind me, his mouth close to my neck, and even closer to my ear. He gives a teasing squeeze to my backside and murmurs in my ear: "What if I want you to be my dessert?" I turn in his arms, and deliver a light slap to his shoulder. "Michael! What is with you? You've never been so... forward." He just chuckles and steps away. "Maybe I'm just excited I can finally show you off to everyone. Oh, and we're meeting Mother at lunch tomorrow. I've gotten a reservation for the three of us at Mortimer's. I heard they're really good." I nod and glance down at my wrist watch. "Oh, wow! I've got to make sure Jackie's shirt fits for tonight. Break a leg if I don't see you. And I'm excited to have lunch with your mother. I love you!" I give him a peck on his perfect lips and head out the door. Michael catches my wrist before I can leave and pulls me back to him, giving me a real kiss to make up for my quick peck. I giggle as we break away for oxygen. "Alright love machine, I seriously have to go." I hurry out of his dressing room and down to Jackie.

I've never been so nervous in my life. I have no reason to be nervous. Kathrine doesn't dislike me, in fact she and I have had amazing talks between fittings and shows. But maybe after she finds out that I've stolen her son's heart, her opinion of me will change? If she doesn't approve, will Michael leave me? He is an absolute mommas boy. "Babe, relax. Mother absolutely adores you, and I do too. Everything is going to be absolutely fine. I promise." Michael squeezes my thigh in reassurance, and I take a deep breath to calm myself down.

All three of us are seated at the table and our drinks are ordered. Michael holds my hand under the table, unsure himself how to start. "Mother, I have something to tell you, I am in love with the kindest, most beautiful woman in the world." Kathrine smiles a bit at this and urges her son to continue. "That's amazing honey. Who is it?" Michael and I glance at each other before Michael tells the Jackson Matriarch. "Well, Mother, it's Y/N. She and I have been together for almost 3 years now." There's a mix of emotions on her face, and she opens her mouth, trying to figure out what to say. "Well, Michael, honey, I am so happy you found someone. You deserve to be happy. I just can't understand why you wouldn't tell anyone for all that time." I sigh, opening my mouth. "Ms. Katherine, that's my fault. I wanted to keep our relationship under wraps because Michael has worked so hard to be where he is and I didn't want to be a reason for him to receive backlash. I also knew that Mr. Jackson eliminates any distractions for the boys. I know it sounds selfish, but I would have rather kept him my little secret and not have to give him up than show him off and risk losing not only my job, but the love of my life. I know now that telling you about our relationship is going to make Michael happy, and if his happiness means I am seen as a distraction and the consequences that go with it, so be it. I regret not telling you sooner, and for that I am truly sorry." Katherine listens the entire time with soft eyes, listening to every word I say. Michael grabs my hand on the table and gives it a proud squeeze. Once again Katherine opens her mouth and what she says next almost brings me to tears. "Oh, Y/N. understand. I see you truly care about my son, putting his career before your happiness, and then his happiness over your career. I know that that is not an easy decision, and it really shows just how much you care about him. Now, I won't sugar coat anything, but not everyone will approve of your relationship. A white woman and a black man together won't be the easiest thing for people to accept but you have to remember that it is your happiness, no one else's." I felt like all the weight had been lifted off my shoulders after that. We ate lunch and enjoyed the streets of New York. After Katherine had gotten into her car, I turned to Michael. "Alright, what do you want for dessert?" Pulling me into the back of the car, he placed me in his lap. "Hmm, something sweet, a little spicy... I'll have... you."

Taglist: @accio-boys​

[sherlollydramoine]

Because I Love You

Prompt 3: “you did this”

Fandom: The Pacific/HBO War - Modern Day AU

Pairing: Sledgefu

Word Count: 1621

Warnings: There aren’t any warnings other than maybe some language. PG/PG-13

This is my first foray into Sledgefu but I’ve been wanting to write them FOREVER. I’m sure I’ve got the characterization all wrong but I was nervous.

Pulling into the driveway slowly as it was late and the gravel under the tires of the old truck always feels deafening in the silence of night. Shifting the truck into park and turning the key over to shut down the engine, he lets out a tired sigh. He was a bit bitter that he’d had to go to a study group on Halloween but there was a major exam next week and he couldn’t afford to miss the study session. The love of his life had been understanding though the disappointment on his face was clearly visible. Halloween was always their special thing and they often spent it getting way too drunk and having way too much fun. But with so much that had been going on this year with a global pandemic, political and civil unrest, and so much brutality in the world all of that had been canceled. 

Eugene was weary, so done with everyone’s shit but mostly he just wanted to be done with school. His lover was mostly patient and kind to him though to others his husband was often perceived as hard and mean. Whenever Eugene brings it up Merriell just smiles and says that he has a reputation to uphold. Looking at his reflection in the rearview mirror he runs his fingers through his ginger hair lets out another tired sigh and grabs the bag off the seat next to him. 

The door to the truck loud as it’s old rusted hinges protested with an angry squeak before slamming it shut behind him. Wanting nothing more than to take a shower and go to bed he exhaustedly shuffled his way across the drive and up the stairs of the rickety porch. The one porch light that was in working order was on emitting a low glow and he could hear the moths and whatever other flying insects had gathered to worship in the light repeatedly flying into the light cover. As he pulls open the screen door he notices a piece of paper haphazardly fastened to the door and his heart nearly drops into his stomach. Ah fuck, please don’t let it be another shutoff notice.

Yanking the paper down and squinting in the dimness of the half lit porch he managed to ascertain that it wasn’t a shutoff notice but rather a handwritten note that had been left there by his love. Heart-melting at the familiar scrawl, as he unfolded the paper completely to read what message it contained. He’d assumed that Mer wasn’t home and this was just a little way of ensuring that Eugene was made aware of it before he settled in for the night. He was pleasantly surprised when the note indicated no such thing but rather a sweet, for Merriell, message. 

‘Door is unlocked. Please go wash up and then meet me on the back porch. Dinner is waiting for you.’

Smiling to himself he turned the handle and stepped inside the dark house kicking off his shoes out of habit, and then leaving them on the rack next to the front door, dropping his backpack and leaving it on the floor.  

“Mer?” he calls out in the dark, waiting for a response that didn’t come.

As he walks deeper into the house he glances towards the kitchen noticing a soft glow from some of the Halloween decorations coming from the dining room table. The back porch door was wide open, only covered by the thin layer of mosquito netting that had been hung over the outer part of the doorway. His stomach rumbles as the delicious scents wafting in from the kitchen hit his nose. 

Suddenly he was starving as he remembers that it had been nearly ten hours since he’d last eaten. His study group had provided snacks but everyone was so intense discussing and clarifying information that they were hardly touched. The primary thing he’d consumed all day was coffee which always made his stomach hurt but wasn’t it considered a magic bean? The life giving substance? He knew for himself and for Merriell that neither of them could function normally without a few cups in the morning and for Eugene, he’d need more than just a few cups throughout the day. 

His face splitting in a grin as he realized that even though their plans for Halloween had been drastically changed this year, he was not going to let that stop him from making the best of it. His husband had made a show of making sure that the house, both inside and out, was decorated as fully as it could be. The only damper this evening is that his husband was nowhere to be seen and he found himself mildly disappointed at not receiving his ‘hello, welcome home, I love you’ kiss that he had been so accustomed to.

Deciding not to dwell on the fact that he was actually missing his husband he heads to the washroom to clean up as he’d been instructed. The hot shower was exactly what he needed as the grime from the day slowly made its way down the drain taking with it the exhaustion he’d been feeling. Now all he felt was a sense of excitement perhaps brought on by the chance of seeing his husband and also knowing that he’d have all of tomorrow to rest. 

Turning off the water and stepping out of the shower on the ugliest purple bath mat that Mer had insisted they had to have, he toweled himself off. Deciding against shaving since his husband loved it when he didn’t have a fresh face. His husband often joked that his freshly shaven face made him look like a twelve-year-old boy but the scruff definitely had a positive effect, making his usually incredibly randy husband even more so. As he glances at the counter he realizes that his husband must have slipped in undetected and left his Halloween costume hanging on the towel rack next sink. A little note was pinned to it presumably with the strict instructions to put it on before heading out to dinner. Donning the costume that Merriell had picked out specifically for him to wear and combing his hair so that it sat just as he knew his husband liked it he admired himself for a moment. Merriell really knows how to pick a costume because damn, I do look good.

Making his way through the house admiring all the little decorations and other little things that were distinctly Merriell that make this rickety house feel like home. Merriell was a collector of weird sometimes macabre things but the item that he loved the most was Billy, the Gator skull, that sat on the mantel over the ancient fireplace that was meticulously decorated by Merriell for every holiday or season. By the time he got to the back porch his face was almost hurting from how hard he was smiling. This house was chock full of mismatched, eccentric decorations but it felt more like home than the rigid, full of antique, don’t-touch-anything, it can’t look like anyone lives here upper-crust southern home he’d grown up in. 

Reaching the back door he steps through the magnetically connected mosquito net and called out for his husband.

“Have a seat please, I’ve prepared quite a little feast for us,” Merriell says from behind him. He jumped a little putting his hand over his heart making his husband chuckle.

 “Sorry boo, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Mer says as he moves in front of Eugene, wrapping his arms around Eugene’s neck. “You look incredibly handsome boo. I love you, welcome home.”

Merriell gives his husband a quick kiss and instructs him again to have a seat before dashing off back into the house. Merriell had recently fixed up an old wooden table and had found some chairs that fit the table though they were not a matching set. Sliding into the worn but comfortable chair he sat and admired the table set up. Merriell had gone all out and had decorated the center of the table with some small semi-odd decorations. He had set the dishes on the table in a way that Eugene suspects was trying to mimic the overly fancy, start from the outside and work your way in, setup that Gene had grown up with.

His gaze goes back to the back door as Merriell came in and out of the house several times carrying the various food items that he’d prepared for their Halloween feast.

What a feast it really truly was. His lover had made what he called bloody vampire soup which was really just a tomato bisque, severed finger breadsticks, various fruits on skewers that he somehow managed to make resemble bugs, a salad, and for dessert, he’d made a cake coated in black frosting and bits of cotton candy with fake spiders on them. 

“I really don’t deserve you Merriell. I just can’t believe that you did this. You do everything for us and what do I contribute to our marriage?”

“Gene, don’t start this. I do these things for you because I love you. You know what you do for us? You are getting the education that I never did so that you can get a good job. Then I can become a full time house and trophy husband.”

This elicits a laugh from Eugene.

“Is that all you ever wanted darling? To be reduced to nothing more than a house husband?”

“Yeah, a house husband that can fix this place up with my own two hands. Your parents were more than generous to buy us the shitty little shack as a wedding gift.”

“My darling, I look forward to the day when you can take our shitty little shack and turn into our dream castle.”

@ramimedley @xmxisxforxmaybe @detectivecutiepantsandhisbabyfox @aboutthatmelancholystorm @will-grammer @theblossomknows @diasimar

[lizzylunawizardessfanfics]

Love Letters

Pairing: Hermes!Randy x Hades!Lizzy

Summary: For sometime now the rule of the Underworld had been receiving love letters from a secret admirer. What will happen when the latest letter says they want to meet face to face at an upcoming party? Will she find out who it is finally or maybe it was some cruel prank?

“Who’s my big scary boi, who’s my good hellhound; you are, yes you are,” I cooed as I was sitting on the floor playing with Rufus and ruffling the fur on his three heads. Cupping the middle head showering him in kisses he let out a happy bark. “Whoa whoa whoa,” I suddenly heard a panicked voice shouting as when I looked over I witnessed Randy came flying out of a portal that was in the air as he went crashing into something. I couldn’t help but giggle as it was good to see some things just don’t change. Starting to get up from where I was sitting I adjusted the skirt of my dress before going over to check on him.

“Hello Randy, lively of an entrance as always I see,” I said as he was laying on the large vases he had knocked over when he fell. “H-Hello, Hermes here to- hehe deliver letters,” he said, seeming slightly out of it before shaking his head and seeming back to his usual self. Giving him a hand in getting up he dusted himself off before giving me a big hug and then reaching into his satchel bag afterwards. Taking the small pile of enclosed letters I thanked the god of travel. “So anything fun happen here lately,” I heard Randy inquire, which I couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Not really. Though I will say that uhhh- crap what’s his face... Umm Hercules boy, tiger ears-”

“Oh you mean Ted,”

 “Ah yes him thank you, Ted did try to get in again. Truly a poor idea on his part, thinking he could pose a threat to me in my own domain; what a foolish boy. But other than that it’s been a little boring around here,” I replied, taking a seat on my long lounge chair. Looking at the first enclosed letter I put it aside recognizing the familiar pink wax seal with a small flower in it that belonged to Caesar, most likely another poor attempt to flirt with me. “Demeter complaining about Elias’ late return,” I said chuckling to myself though I felt a bit bad that my best friend had to hear an earful about being late. Glancing over another letter I let out a small groan as of course it was Albert’s invitation to one of his monthly parties. “Oh are you going this month,” I heard Randy excitedly ask as I looked up at him as he came taking a seat besides me. Shrugging my shoulders I put the letter aside as I looked at the pastel pink haired god. 

“Nah I don’t think so.”

“Awww but you didn’t come to last month or the month before last month’s party! It’ll be so much fun we can even prank Klausy and a couple of the others!”

“As much as I do love pranking the goddess of the harvest, there really isn’t a reason for me to go there. And let's be honest aside from you, Elias, and Albert there are only a few other gods and goddesses that actually like me,” I said leaning back and letting out a small yawn. Maybe it was how being in solitude for so long just became normal; do I enjoy getting visitors, absolutely but do I desire to go outside of the Underworld to mingle with a mass of other beings… No not really. “Come on please for me! It’s been forever since we’ve actually gotten to hang out,” I heard Randy plea to me, making that pouting face of his that was just silly yet very cute. Giggling I shook my head as I looked back down to see who the last letter was from. Staring at the wax seal it was the one that had belonged to the mysterious individual who’s been sending such sweet and adoring letters to which I carefully opened.

“My dearest Lizzy,

The world has hidden the most beautiful gem away from the light, yet even in the darkness you glisten ever so brightly and beautifully. Truly I hope all has been well down below as I have deeply missed hearing your contagious laughter that is sweeter than any siren’s song. No longer do I desire to hide behind feeble paper and ink to convey the admiration and love I harbor for you my dearest. So I shall hope you grace us with your presence at this monthly gathering so we can finally speak face to face.

With love, your secret admirer”

I couldn’t help but smile softly while reading the letter, but surprised that whoever the god or goddess was wanted to finally reveal themselves. “Oooh is that from that secret admirer again,” I heard Randy’s voice which snapped me out of my brief train of thoughts and caused me to move the letter closer to my chest so he couldn’t snoop. “Well yes, whoever it is said they’d like to meet up at this months gathering,” I replied as I could feel a small fluttering feeling, but I also couldn’t help but feel that grim sickening feeling that all of these letters were nothing but a ruse to humiliate me in front of the other gods and goddesses. “You should go then! No you HAVE to go now that your admirer wants to confess in person,” He said in an encouraging manner as I let out a small sigh and slouch debating what to do. Yes I’ve been feeling all but joy and how my heart would melt at the loving messages that I received, but of course I still had my doubts and not only even that… Whoever this being is, are my feelings even in the right place because as of recent with the more times Randy has come to visit and spend time with me in his free time I couldn’t help but recognize my growing feelings for him. Thinking it over for a little bit and feeling his eyes on me I decided there was only one way I would be able to sort all of this out. “Fine I’ll go,” I answered, followed up by Randy’s excited cheer and his bright smile.

~~~~~~

The days seemed to pass by slowly, but today was finally the day of the party to which I had mixed feelings about. Even while fixing up my hair slightly I debated about not going at the last minute mentally, but I knew one way or another I couldn’t hide from this forever… As even if I decided to not go today I feel that when next month comes around Albert would drag me by force if that was the case as it wouldn’t be the first time the silver haired god has done that. Letting out a sigh I look in the mirror before starting to walk away from the vanity; waving a hand to create a portal to take me to Olympus I walked through it until my familiar dark and gloomy surroundings turned into a bright and more lively setting. “Lizzy you finally came,” I heard Albert’s all too cheerful voice loudly say from behind and before I could turn around an arm was wrapped around my shoulders and squishing me into a hug. 

“Yes yes now if you could release me now that’d be lovely,” I said letting out a small huff patting his back lightly. He only laughed and squeezed me tighter before finally releasing me allowing myself to smooth down the material of my dress. Already feeling others staring I decided to ignore them as I walked around to see if I could find one of my friends or maybe a place to kind of hide for a bit. Thankfully I bumped into Elias which we pretty much stuck together and just kinda hung out occasionally talking with some of the other gods and goddesses. I would look around to keep an eye out for Randy since I was yet to see him as I could only assume he got busy with some deliveries or something. “Well if it isn’t the lovely Hades, the world must be coming to an end if you’re gracing us all with your presence,” I heard a voice say for me to see the god of war himself Vain. Letting out a fake laugh I playfully rolled my eyes knowing he was simply teasing. “Oh yes haha so funny. If you’re to be saying that about anyone from the Underworld it should be Tartarus whenever she decides to finally come up to join the party,” I shot back before exchanging a small hug with the long haired pinkette. 

As the party went on I did dance to a couple of songs as so far no one has come to be claiming to be my secret admirer nor have I seen Randy yet. With doubts slowly forming in my brain I spaced out a little the overthinking had begun. “So the god of the Underworld came crawling out to join us,” I heard the familiar voice that took me out of my thoughts as much to my displeasure as it was Demeter. “Oh Demeter please hold your excitement as I know how much you just love seeing my pretty face,” I retorted as of all the beings here it had to be him that had to come bother me. “I don’t understand why we just can’t get along,” I said after letting out a small sigh and crossing my arms over my chest as Klaus stared down at me. “You very well know why as I will stand by what I told you when we first met; it doesn’t matter what generation of Hades you are, you ALL will be the same,” he said reiterating himself as I rolled my eyes as this man was truly hard headed; I wonder if his brain got turned to stone by a Medusa, heh rocks for brains. 

Going back and forth with Klaus was not doing anything good for my temper as I wasn’t angry, I was more frustrated and upset if anything. “I don’t think you fully understand how lucky you are Klaus,”

“Don’t call me by my name.”

“No, I will keep calling you by your name! You’re fortunate enough to not only have been reunited with your siblings from your mortal life but to be able to remember them too; not many of us get that high of a luxury. Just because our roles have had bad history doesn’t mean we have to too,” I continued glaring up at the taller blonde trying to make a point. “Whoa hey there! Sorry I’m so late to the party,” a cheerful voice said, cutting into the argument as getting between us appeared Randy. “It’s unlike you to be late Hermes,” I heard Klaus say as I could only roll my eyes, at this point I wasn’t in the mood anymore to be around others so I just decided to walk off. Ending up outside on one of the balconies I leaned on the railing and looked up at the night sky letting out a breath feeling whatever I had pent up come out. I wonder if the skies always looked this beautiful at night; did the stars shine this brightly when I was human. 

“Oh Lizzy there you are,” I heard Randy’s voice calling as when I stood up straight to turn around there he was coming up to me with his usual smile. “Hey,” I greeted him with a small smile of my own giving him a short hug when he got close enough. “Sooo how are you enjoying the party,” he asked his smile now turning into a goofy grin as usually it would give me a small laugh, but I wasn’t really feeling it right now. I gave a small shrug as I simply said, “I mean I was having a good time but really… I think me coming here was a mistake, I should have just stayed in the Underworld.”

“Wait what?! Why would you say that, you have every right to be here like everyone else!”

“Yeah I know. As getting to spend time with some of the others was nice but… After the encounter with Klaus kinda put me out of a party mood and I’m yet to know who my secret admirer is. Honestly I should have known better that the letters were just a joke, I don’t know what I was even thinking,” I answered letting my shoulders drop. Moving away from the railing I let out a small stretch before starting to walk. “H-Hey where are you going,” I heard Randy ask in what sounded like a panicked manner though I didn’t bother to turn back around. “I know we didn’t really get to hang out here at the party, but I’m just gonna head- huh,” I started to explain until I suddenly felt my wrist be grabbed and carefully tugged back and when I turned to look behind me I was greeted to the sight of his brown eyes that held a soft sadness to him. “Please don’t go, I really want you to stay. We didn’t even get to dance together. If you won’t stay for the others will you at least stay for me,” he asked as he still held my wrist in a gentle manner as there was that familiar fluttering feeling in my chest. Slightly pouting I glanced away feeling my cheeks grow warm, how could I say no when he was making such a sad face like that.

“I-I guess I can stay a little while longer,” I responded as on the brighter side of things, at least I’d be able to hang out more with Randy. Looking up I saw he was back to his bright smile, actually it appeared to be bigger than usual. “That’s great! Oh I almost forgot I have something for you,” he cheered before he remembered whatever it was that he had which curiously I slightly tilted my head to the side wondering what it could be. Letting go of my wrist he put his hand inside his satchel and watching as he dug around his eyes appeared to glitter and pulled out a long box. “Here it is! Open it,” he said happily while handing it over to me as I carefully took it with both hands. Looking up at him briefly I looked down to the box as I could only wonder what little trinket he got me this time. Opening it with one hand a soft creek sound came from the box as my eyes widened at the sight of what it was; it was a beautiful necklace as there was a glass heart attached to it as inside was a soft yellow glow. “Randy this is so beautiful where did you get this,” I said peeking up at him for a second before looking back down to carefully take it out so I could put it on. During the process of trying to put it on I could hear him let out a bit of a nervous laugh. 

“Ahaha well actually more like I had it made just for you… I actually uhh asked a personal favor of Helios to give me a little bit of sunlight and Hephaestus was kind enough to create the enclosure to keep it safe,” he answered as I was surprised to hear he went through all of that for me I was going to ask him why but then I heard him speak up again. “To think you couldn’t grow any more beautiful you keep proving me wrong, my dearest.” Completely freezing after having finally successfully clipped the back of the necklace but also hearing that specific nickname that was used in so many of the letters hit hard when the reality of what was happening right now. Looking up I was already feeling tears swell up as there Randy was now standing right in front of me. “It’s been you… All this time,” I slowly asked as it almost felt too good to be true. 

‘Yeah it-it’s been me. Hehe surprise- w-wait Lizzy why are you crying,” he started to say confirming until he sounded panicked when I started crying. Feeling his warm hands wipe the tears away I felt his forehead rest against mine. “S-Sorry! They’re happy tears I promise haha… Why didn’t you say so sooner,” I apologized and laughed a little as it was a little silly of me to cry like this. “Well I wanted to make sure when I told you in person that it was romantic,” he softly said before adding “Because I am serious about this, I really do love you Lizzy. Something about you that very first day resonated with my heart and it only grew the more I got to know you; with all my heart I love you. And I’m really really sorry about being late to the party” Before I could say anything in response I felt lips pressed against my own as I could smell the strong scent of sweets coming from him. After the kiss being broken I saw how pink his face was and couldn’t help but giggle from how cute he looked though my face was probably a lot worse. “Well it was better now than never showing up and I love you too Randy,” I replied, giving him a hug enjoying the warmth. I may not be able to change a lot of things or the bonds with certain individuals, but this was the beginning of living my happiest life the best I could.