Tumgik
#i can just get one after school starts but all my time to actually work more hours and make any amount of money will be already wasted
Text
What if Class of 09 Flipside was made by a Woman?
I liked Class of 09. I liked it's snappy dialogue, I liked it's social commentary of high school and women's experiences with creepy men and adulthood, I liked how it gave such a compelling main character where you know she's awful yet acknowledge that she has her reasons without justification. I like Class of 09, both the original and re-up. What I don't like though, is Class of 09: The Flipside.
Setting my personal disgust with the feet routes and the 'Palestinian slave trade' comment aside, the writing in Flipside just is completely different from the last 2. Instead of focusing on the biting social commentary of the woman experience, it instead prioritizes shock value with only some form of substance (e.g, jecka seeing nicole's suicide, jeffrey's death, the ending messages apart from the creator) And you know what else sucks? We never actually got to explore Jecka properly of who she is as a character, her relationships with her family, friends, former friends...Sure, we get doses of her life like her dad which does do what the game promised: Change how we saw the Class of 09 story before. We now understand why Jecka was terrified of the cop's yelling, not only because an powerful authority abusing his power but also experienced it before. See, this was the stuff I expected from Flipside. This was what the game should've prioritised in. Instead, it seemed like the creator would rather showcase his fetishes and spite people that don't like him or the game. From that there on, I keep thinking to myself: 'you know, this game would've been better had a woman wrote this.' But can they?
I'm a woman experienced high school before, even tried to fit the class of 09 writing style on my characters in my own personal time. Given how a lot of class of 09 fans are disappointed with the new game and I want to get into writing publically, I figure that I be the one to rewrite Class of 09 The Flipside in hopes of re-capturing the essence of the first two games alongside the game's intentions itself. Even though it's still in development, I've already outlined the routes/endings so far for you all to get a peek:
Route 1/Ending 1 - Invasion of MySpace: The foot route will be replaced by Jecka taking and making videos/pictures in order to make money after being fired from her job. Think of it like a late 2000s or early 2010s version of OnlyFans. This would help remain the social commentaries of men’s creepy behaviour to women alongside how their safety is affected. There’ll be an option of whether to go to the creepy man’s house or go home. If she goes home, she finds Nicole giving her dad a handjob with a dead expression. It ends with Jecka killing herself and implies that Nicole followed her too (not half naked though, just in regular clothes cuz I'm not a freak unlike someone)
Ending 2 - MurderSpace: If Jecka chose to go to the creepy man’s home, she gets murdered and placed like a doll in the man’s basement. 
Route 2/Ending 6 - Breaking the Wounded Heart: Jecka finds herself to work with Karen and Ari at Dominos. Overtime, they start to form a bond and Jecka herself starts to mature and finds Nicole to be unbearable. Jecka finally breaks off her friendship with Nicole and cuts forward to the future where Jecka currently lives a peaceful yet boring life, reflecting on the past with Nicole, wondering if she’s really better off without Nicole because while she’s now in a stable life without the chaos, it's the chaos that entertained her: Nicole entertained her. And now it’s all gone. But in the end, it suggests that things are much better with Nicole gone as it cuts to a phone beeping and Jecka looking down at it with a smile while Ari is by her side. Yes, this is the route where Jeckari is canon. I know this sounds too sweet for Class of 09 but I want it to still match the vibe with it being less shocking but more real in a way. Something too realistically depressing but still mundane. This is what I planned to be the saddest but best outcome of the game. The most real I should say. 
Ending 5 - Was it all worth it?: If Jecka chooses Nicole over her new friends, it ends with her and Nicole being homeless smoking drugs in an abandoned forest with Jecka reflecting on whether or not she made a good choice with Nicole before commenting on needing a Xanax to distract her from the regret and pain. 
Route 3/Ending 3 - Fuck Men!: Jecka gets into a relationship with a presumably kind-hearted gentleman. Nicole tries to warn her but Jecka won’t listen. She then is coerced by the man into doing sexual favours for his economic gain, making her become a sex trafficked victim.
Route 4/Ending 4 - Drunk Drive Delivery: Same route where Ari dies but instead the ending changed to Jecka being arrested for 6 months where the ending monologue would showcase her conflicted in anger and regret. Plus, it plays more to the idea of Jecka ‘dying at 21’ logic with being forced to work: adult party culture: that kind of thing. 
I'd be happy to hear any feedback or/and ideas for this rewrite.
103 notes · View notes
archangeldyke-all · 2 days
Note
what about sev and reader meeting little fucker'd girlfriend's parents?
sevika it's like "im killing your daughter if she hurts my baby" and then one of the parents it's like "no, im killing your daughter if she hurts my daughter" and then sevika just shrugs like "yeah that's fair"
this is just so funny i'm such a sucker for family fics heheh
men and minors dni
your daughter's been dating her girlfriend for two years now, and in the fall they'll be going off to college together, so you and sevika figured it was time to bite the bullet and meet her parents.
it's not that you don't want to. it's just that... your family is definitely a lot for those not as used to it as smooches is (smooches is the nickname the twins came up with for little fucker's girlfriend-- because of all the kisses the two are always sharing) and smooches comes from a quiet family.
she's an only child, both of her parents are super smart lawyer types-- and you and sevika both worry that they'll take one look at your home (currently in disrepair because the twins are going through a 'science experiment' phase) and your family (whose love language is teasing and squabbling) and they'll decide that their daughter actually shouldn't be spending so much time with her girlfriend and family. which would break both of your hearts, because as much as you tease little fucker and smooches--your daughter's girlfriend is basically your family now.
she's over for dinner more nights than not, she spends the night on weekends, and the twins adore her.
so, you're all trying to be on your best behavior at dinner tonight. (trying being the key word, because there are just some familial duties that even the best behavior cannot stop.)
stinkerbutt goes around the table at the restaurant and pulls out each chair for the adults, helping push in smooches' dads in with some help from her twin, kissing you and sevika's cheeks sweetly when she pushes you two up to the table.
shithead very politely stacks all your dishes and glasses together between bread, appetizers, and after dinner-- ensuring the table is easy to clear for the waitresses and there's more room for everyone to spread out.
you and sevika exchange pleasentries with mr. and mr. smooches, asking them about work and drama on the pta at the girls' high school-- and you even get some friendly banter going when it's revealed that sevika and one of smooches' dads' share favorite television shows. they spend about fifteen minutes gushing to each other about the writing while you and smooches' remaining dad roll your eyes fondly-- both happy they're not talking to you about the nerdy shit for a change.
there's not one stain on any of your sort-of matching outfits-- little fucker wanted to look like a unit so she insisted you all wear blue-- and you're under the impression that you've made it through the night with out incident.
you're wrong.
but, surprisingly, it isn't your family that starts it tonight.
"i have to say something." mr. smooches mumbles at the end of the night as you're waiting for dessert to be brought to the table.
"babe--" his husband responds, in that same placating tone you recognize from how often you use it on sevika. "it's been such a nice night."
"pops please don't." smooches groans from her seat beside him.
still, mr. smooches clears his throat and takes a sip of his wine before speaking.
"you all are a lovely family," he begins while his daughter groans and hides her face behind her hands, "and i am so grateful my daughter's found someone who loves her so much-- and someone whose family loves her too..." you all wait in tense silence for him to continue.
"but?" little fucker asks.
"but it is my duty as a father to tell all of you that if my daughter is ever hurt-- physically or emotionally-- i do know lawyers who can make murder charges disappear." he says with a shrug.
you raise an eyebrow at his husband, impressed, and he groans and buries his own face in his hands-- just like his daughter.
beside you, sevika bursts into laughter and smacks his back. "i didn't think you had it in you!" she cackles.
"what do you mean?" smooches asks from between her dads, her mortification lessening at sevika's reaction.
"i've been watchin' your old man try to work up the courage to threaten us all night."
"it wasn't a threat! it was just a fun fact about myself i wanted to share." smooches dad says with a growing smile. sevika cackles.
"well, here's a fun fact about our family-- together i think we've got, what was it babe? twenty three?"
"twenty four." you fill in for sevika. sevika grins and kisses your cheek.
"twenty four cousins in prison, so, y'know. we probably wouldn't be able to get rid of the charges, but we'd definitely know how to handle the bodies." she says with a shrug.
the table bursts into laughter, and mr. smooches reaches across the table to give sevika a solid handshake.
you and his husband sit back and watch with fond amusement as your daughters attempt to sneak away from the table without anybody noticing.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner
@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther
@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai
@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette
@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp
@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen
@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom
97 notes · View notes
court-jobi · 2 days
Text
How'd You Know (I Needed This)
Tumblr media
((banner by me! I don't own Horikoshi's (sleepy) characters/work))
Pairing: Aizawa x reader (American!Pro Hero fem!reader, set before the events of Season 1)
Words: 4.9K
Rating: T+
Warnings: Aizawa has feelings and doesn't know what to do with them, alcohol mentions, slow burn, he fell first she fell harder, the feeling is mutual TM
Summary:
Shouta Aizawa surrenders his capture weapon for the night in favor of humoring Hizashi, and is rewarded for his follow-through at his show. He wants to know you, more than he has from teaching the brats alongside you for the last few months. Wants to know the smile that reaches your eyes more intimately.
He’s happy he gets this balcony happy hour with you -out from all their eyes inside- to be able to water this sweet, small thing he feels towards you to fullness.
A/N: I've been WAITING for this one, turn it up!!! Aizawa my beloved, I've wanted to write you for so, so long and can only hope I can do you justice. The man just has such a gentle side and I just wanted to give him something nice and self-indulgent~
For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!
Read on Ao3
Damn it, why was he thinking like this? He’s in public for goodness’ sakes, with only two sips of drink under his belt. Not two drinks- two sips of a drink.  So if that’s the case of his sobriety, why was he off in his own little headspace as if he were drunk?  
‘Put Your Hands Up Radio’ found its home recording studio attached to this lounge: a place Shouta Aizawa never frequented unless expressly invited- or when Eraserhead was needed to scout out trouble. Far too noisy, too chatty, and filled with too many grown adults losing their sensibilities for his liking. 
Through one round of begging or another, he’d been roped into joining some of the staff of UA to an evening out, in support of Present Mic. Naturally, Aizawa would go- as his presence would all but guarantee everyone else’s. Despite begrudging the plans that pushed himself out of his preferred rest mode, he kept true to his word for Hizashi’s sake.
Promise kept, and therefore, appears to have been rewarded. 
Once the show wrapped for the night, his best friend was over the moon at how things were turning into a party that Friday night. After a day of shrill, whinging teenagers he’d wrangled all week, this level of volume was honestly the last thing he needed. Yamada’s voice doubled the decibel of the entire room- and that’s without his quirk activated. He always managed to annoy Aizawa when he started fangirling about one duet matchup or another.
But truthfully? Every sound this tired hero registered around him fell to white noise while he looked at you…
Sweet Little Miss, you are; gracing the lounge with your presence. You’re a vision tonight. Insist with your lilting dip to your words they all call you by your first name, outside of school grounds and against what’s considered custom. No hero titles either, unless an emergency called for formalities- then you’d cave.
These Americans are too casual. Even down to these outfits. What’s this–  black turtleneck, necklace she won’t leave alone- moving it around her thumb like that, short skirt.. and those damn thigh highs and tights. How is it she’s driving that moped of hers, wearing something like this…
Everything on your person, down to the way you held yourself in perfect confidence and ease adorned you like a perfectly-styled pro hero. It couldn't be a more stark contrast to his tried and true wardrobe. Even this after-hours look sat perfectly around each bend and curve of you, as you listened to the group. 
You’re smiling, too. It’s subtle, but it reaches your eyes, which makes it all the more authentic.
A smile he shouldn’t want to keep all to himself. Curves he really should have no business noticing. Features that he’s actually surprised he’s labeling as ‘attractive’ in his mind because the last time he ever felt an ounce of attraction to anyone in that way, he’d barely been able to grow facial hair. 
Desire for a safe place to land his dizzying mind is driving his tired sights to look to you for relief again and again in the conversation– without you even saying a single word. 
The barely-touched drink in his hand is only a prop; something to make him blend into the scene and not something he’s actually tasting for pleasure… meaning, these are his thoughts. Nearly completely sober. Should be illegal. Just illegal-
"Yo Sho, you still with us, sleepyhead?" 
Yamada pulled him out of his thoughts. Disguising any flare of being put on the spot, Aizawa  flitted his absent gaze back to his blond friend–
"Be nice. He’s had a rough day and is a good enough sport by being here,” you chirped up catching Yamada’s pull for Aizawa to part from the fringes of your little gathering.
Now toward you? He’ll soften his edge. After all, with you sticking up for him with blind loyalty, he nearly felt guilty for spacing out and causing you to speak up in the first place.
“- yknow, I'm inclined to take a nap myself," you leaned forward to grab a few more calamari bites to tend to your seemingly insatiable appetite. Aizawa felt warm at the sweetness and straightened up at Yamada’s prodding.
From then on, he made sure to look in your direction more often when you spoke to help him pay attention. He still didn't say much, never did. But he liked the company well enough.
These nights were truly few and far between. Life as an in-demand hero left him jumping from role to role, daytime and midnight obligations. The routine split his waking hours and stretched them paper thin.  Now more than ever,  he typically shirked as much off time as he was offered. And yet, he had to remember to prioritize levity and breaks– and in this case, indulge his treasured friend’s interests and ‘take one for the team’. Good for morale, he reasoned, just this once. 
The occasion was also a way for you to integrate with the group in an informal setting– great for the transplant from the States. You’ve taken amicably to the group of alumni-turned-faculty at UA, though much still remained a mystery about you, presently being peeled back bit by bit through stories and slips of the tongue. There was only so much a dossier could truly reveal about a person- even one curated by S.W.O.R.D. to volunteer aid their Japanese counterparts in their hero work.
It couldn’t tell what kind of teacher you’d turned out to be. Even with no experience working with students, you tread the line between instilling team-centered outlooks and pushing their quirk’s limitations to their max benefit. A crafty, inventive counterpart to complement his blunt teaching style: better together, and even the principal agreed.
It couldn’t point out where your true ambitions lie or where your drive came from. There remained much to be explained as far as your hero status here in Japan– a red-tape nightmare Aizawa was still intrigued to learn about. So far, you’d shared some limitations about “immigration statuses are being vetted with a fine toothed comb, so they’re still trekking through the paperwork”, so your wings are essentially clipped down to a student’s provisional license. This doesn’t please you too much, but you’re driven as much as his finest students with the aire of a professional he’d love to see in full action.
It couldn’t explain the stillness you could dip into, that he only caught once or twice when you believe yourself alone. There’s a past was weighing your shoulders level and compliant in the eyes of the law… but an urge to push back and ‘play this out’  brought hypotheticals to your lips whenever you chatted about what hero life is like for him, and added a sparkle to the eye that he had yet to fully source.
It couldn’t give away the gentleness you hold behind a carefully guarded smile– even in this harsh hero world. Maybe it was that indomitable spirit that those foolhardy patriots overseas carried… or rather, maybe it was the way you fought against such a loud persona. So far, Aizawa has taken only a few notes, but each little mental post-it was cluttering up his headspace. You held a quiet love of tea, a comical passion for the oxford comma, and a mind to care for the little things in life– like the lizards you rescue in an inverted cup to take outside where they belong . 
Surely life must have treated you hard to elicit such softness. Something tenderized you to achieve the peace you carry around or else you’re wearing a damn good mask. No, he determines you had to have made a choice to continue on the path that’s brought you to the present– even to this table where you’re taking your fill of maki rolls while casting little caring glances his way. 
All smiles and calm surety, as he mills through his thoughts that are damn near obsessed with you.
An employee file could never record ‘heart’, anymore than it could expose anything you didn’t want to reveal.
The night progresses while Aizawa stews on these thoughts, and plenty of others… for the ones that drift to his co-teacher offer him more mental stimulation than that he finds in the club’s lights and music.
Yamada’s night of filling his social battery was made nearly perfect by the karaoke that just started. Several of the other teachers got preoccupied in round after round of song, so it left Aizawa with a moment's peace. 
Well, peace he was going to enjoy by laying back on the couch for a little shuteye–  when his gut jumped at the feeling of a hand trailing up his forearm to the elbow with a polite, companionable touch. 
Facing its owner, Aizawa caught your little smirk and nod towards the balcony. You didn't pull hard, yet he followed like a magnet out to the patio. 
From there, rather than stay by the door to listen in on their friends ‘releasing their inhibitions and feeling the rain on their skin’,  you took him to the right, where a matching lounge set positioned itself in a blind spot between the rooftop bar and the fire escape. 
"Thought you looked like you could benefit from some soundproofing~" you brushed your hair back over one shoulder to follow the breeze’s direction, and left an open spot next to you by the railing. 
Nightlife and neon didn’t hold magic for Eraserhead given as many nights as he’s spent perched on precarious heights, but through a newcomer’s eyes, he could see the appeal. This part of the city glowed at night from dusk to dawn, and you clearly loved looking out over it; Aizawa certainly didn't mind this view either. 
Your perception skills are spot on, and incredibly thoughtful as you’ve suggested some fresh air- for his sake. If he wasn’t drawn to you any of the other times he’s paid attention to the spastic moths a more romantic person might call ‘butterflies’ before…  this cements each and every one as valid. 
He likes you. He really likes you. 
Time passed with appreciative quiet until you spoke again, 
"The only thing is, you can't really see stars in the city... there’s too much light."
"The beaches have a nice view," Aizawa replied after some thought.
"Oh yeah?"
"Enough to stargaze properly,” he offered without much sentimentality. Right by the pier was the best spot he and his former classmates would go on the weekends, before their hero work took off.
"I'll have to remember to take a drive there. Y'know, sometime when I'm not in two-and-a-half-inch heels." you chuckled as you shuffled back to the rattan settee, sitting for a bit to stretch out your legs. "I don't know how Nemuri does it."
"Feet hurt already?" Aizawa snuck his hands from his pockets and came to the seat across from yours. “Night’s young.”
"Getting there,"  your laugh greeted him over, "But you know what they say, dress to impress and all that. Yamada really pitched some hype for this afterparty, so~"
Fashion was hardly something that ever swayed Aizawa’s decision-making. Utilitarian was the way to go for his wardrobe- then, as now. 
"If aesthetics are all that determine these pros’ attention, that’s horribly vain." 
You bristled in good humor, 
"He didn't mean it like that– I just meant, he said to look nice for fun instead of for work. Call it ‘girl code’ if you want. We know that means to– just– /doll up a bit/!"
Aizawa held back a snicker at how you still ran into difficulties finding the most apt Japanese equivalents in your (pretty decently executed) second language. English slang you reverted to in moments like these fell from your mouth with an odd drawl. Still couldn’t place the regional accent you carried, but it charmed Aizawa all the same. 
“//Doll up//?” he mimicked. 
"//I like dolling up//!"
Aizawa reached and pulled his glass to his lips, meant to look aloof but not hiding his interest altogether well. 
"You don’t need to put on airs to get people to notice you…" 
"Right, because the accent gives me away."
"No, it’s your-”
Finally, a coward’s streak flared deep in his belly to shut him up. A rare hesitation. Damn this. What the hell’s happening to me–
 “–nevermind."
"My what?" you’re fully  interested, knowing a secret when it's presented.
"Nothing important."
Thankfully you not-so-subtlety dropped it with a hummed ‘ok’, but kept a watchful eye for him in your peripherals. 
The pro hero mused. Better for him to be honest, right? 
Just choose your words carefully. You’ll have to look her in the eye after this, you know. 
Aizawa widened his seated stance so his knee barely breached your space. 
Your sights lifted to him while he put his best poker face on. It’s not really any different than what he’d give to a perfect stranger– the only difference here is he has to force it.
Shit shit shit you're in deep, Shouta.
"You're plenty noticeable as you are. Anyone who meets you can see that," Aizawa shared in his usual soft-spoken tone. "Give ‘em ten minutes, and you've got them wrapped around your finger. It’s a whole impression, not just the outer package. Doesn't matter if you're in a dress that costs a month’s paycheck or a black button down. You're welcoming, sincere..." 
He’s realizing he might be trailing off, but finding you listening with full attention led him on; no liquid courage required. 
"You're stunning from the inside out. Enough to get others to notice."
Aizawa heard your appreciation before he saw it, a hum preceding the a genteel smile. With the win of his walls coming down, he had to give an honest smirk back. It was only fair; you’d earned it just by being you. By your flattered look, you were touched– but your brain was still working beneath the surface, and soon showed by a fleeting expression that spit from him.
Then, you caught your bottom lip for a second, before daring to look in Aizawa’s eyes again. It’s a sneaky look– like he’d snuck a peek at a card he’d meant to hide.
"...You remember what I wore on my first day at UA."
It was half question, half amusement. So dear, but oh-so pointed.
Aizawa froze.
"Black button down. You noticed me, then?" you countered more, "And here I thought you didn't care about appearances~" 
"In professional circles, no. Personal… that's a different thing, entirely." 
He kept your  sights locked onto his, not unlike how he used his quirk in a challenge– only far softer and he could risk the occasional blink.
Even when you took his glass from his hand and placed it away on the table alongside yours, he still looked fondly after you, in fact tilting his head to the other side, studying the way one piece of your hair was caught by your neck. What he’d give to be familiar with you enough to ever-so-carefully brush it back, letting his touch send a wave of shivers across your skin and maybe even make you hum at the gesture. But he couldn’t trust himself to do it now, settling on stretching his arm around the back of the couch. Just an open move, letting you join him on the couch as close as you’d like.
Was he really doing this? He never has before, but this felt so natural. 
You smiled still– and as you sit, you’re leaning into it.  Well then. 
“What was I wearing, Aizawa?”
With free fingers, he risked some little brushes on your near shoulder, bringing a happy little eyebrow lift from you. He just took in your features in close quarters, settled in it, as he remembered that day:
Black button down, grey skirt. Biker boots -practical choice- and these damn tights.
Aizawa’s dazed in the head, but he knows he's listed it off aloud based on how your sights widen, impressed. 
"Hmmm, tights do it for ya?” you smiled, “I'm surprised you haven't jumped the darling Ms. Nemuri then."
"I know way too much about Kayama to ever consider her that way,”  Aizawa’s tempered hand twirled a finger along a blown-away section of hair, just absently enough. “You however, tease just enough." 
"Do I tease you?” you offer with a little depth, “I don't mean to."
It’s here he’s worry he’s stepping over a line- if it weren’t for the downright delicious look in your eye. You say it like you’re sorry for acting unprofessionally– but you’re urging him on, hardly apologetic for your sweet posturing.
"You may not mean it, but it's not unnoticed," 
He took second to swallow, and steps fully over it. 
"or unwelcome."
You’re pleased with this, but deflect with your trademarked humor- 
"Well now that’s saying something. You've seen me in my pjs, too- far from glamorous.  That didn't break the allure for you?"
Aizawa had to huff though his nose at that memory.
"I caught you at arguably your most real self, that first night you patched me up," His outstretched arm rubbed full circles onto your shoulder now, with the lightest touch. 
“Still have no clue why you chose me over Recovery Girl. For the harshest grader in school, that was a pretty dumb move.”
“You were closer than going to campus. It was the practical choice.”
“You didn't even know if I knew first aid.” 
“You do,” Aizawa smirked. “You're too nurturing to not have a knack for it.”
Your legs crossed over, deflecting both your words and refreshing your body movement. In doing so, you slid even closer- a move not lost on Aizawa. 
“Well, I'm still not happy about it. You needed more attending than I was able to pull off. Whatever you get into those nights,” you flitted a look to the underside of his arm that lays outstretched –where you know he sports a scar now- “It… looked like it hurt, ‘Zawa.”
Warm. Warm and cared form. Felt it then, feel it now. That's the life in his chest he gets when he’s around you. 
"Can't change the past, and I certainly wouldn't have changed that. Wouldn’t pass up seeing that sight of you for the world."
This connection, this dance, it all feels that it must be older than what it is, more rooted in a shared history than a short few months. 
Aizawa wants to ‘get’ you. Know the thoughts behind your eyes. Get you talking, even if it means he needs to give up his silent nights and muted text alerts so he can learn you.  He’s happy he gets this balcony happy hour with you, out from other’s eyes, to be able to water this sweet, small thing he feels towards you to fullness.
His eyes narrowed playfully, "Are you embarrassed right now?"
Out of this entire teasing exchange, that note seemed to surprise you and turned you shy.  Short of clapping a hand onto your cheek, you just darted your gaze away- can you be cuter if you tried?
“h-Yeah, a little!" –though you tried to snark your way out of it, "you were hurt before, and blubbery- but now that we’re y'know– awake, and talking... Pretty faces make me nervous."
Nervous? Pretty? Aizawa doesn’t like the sound of either of those.
Aizawa raised a brow and gave a look, a touch more serious.
"Hey," He tapped your chin still with his free hand, "if you want me to lay off, you say the word."
Blindly, you hold his hand from retreating away– "No. You're good, I promise."
He’s drowning in you leaning into the cool touch offered to you–
“ Heh, I–uh… I’m pretty sure ‘friends’ don’t talk about each other like this, though.”
He couldn't be a coward now– not with you melting on the spot and giving him an insane amount of hope.
“Maybe not,” Aizawa reasoned gently, “-not if they’re content to stay that way.” 
–then all of a sudden his heart soared at her next words:
"Well… I like this."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I like you, like this.” With your insistence for touch, you cupped his wrist in your own chill-tipped hand.
Hell yeah. 
Aizawa huffs another win in his foolish heart, but then watches as you keep talking–  you don’t break from your softness, but look reflective off to an absent point on his chest.
“It’s funny, y'know? Most jobs, you’d be lucky to find someone you would actually wanna talk to outside of board meetings and quarterly reports… but here in our line of work, you count on each other to save your lives.”
“That’s right.” Aizawa breathes.
“I uh.. never thought I’d be workin’ with kids- trying to keep them alive too. Teach them how to do the same. But I wouldn’t feel nearly as confident to do it, rise to the challenge, if it weren’t for you, ‘Zawa. You’re just as special. Inside and out.”
And when you look to his eyes again, fully awake and still sober, he swears he’ll say yes to any night Hizashi invites him to if it means he can have you this close. Things with you just feel lived-in. Companionable. He’s drawn to you in a way unlike others before you, because he didn’t believe he’s had the right, desire, or time to even entertain it. 
But everything’s different now. It just works, in his mind. He wants to spend his respites, his missions, everything- with you at his side, having his back. For however long you’d let him.
Touching your cheek, cursing the helmet you’d have to wear on the way home that would hide this angelic face from him once again– Aizawa curls towards you, barely tipping his head which screams ‘kiss her you ass’. You notice, and follow his lead almost halfway. 
“Yeah, I like you like this…” you sighed lightly, “--and I’d like us like this, too.” 
"Hm. Good."
...the door to the patio swinging open from around the corner startles you both. Present Mic doesn’t know his strength as he projects for the block to hear, swaggering about in his search.
You looked flustered sitting back up, but Aizawa was characteristically unphased at the sight of Hizashi finally rounding with a singsong cry of his name. 
Dammit.
"Hey kids, been looking for YOU, Miss America! There's some stateside artists on the karaoke lineup with your name on iiiiit- c’mon! I hyped you already to Nemuri– she didn't believe me that you sang with me for my English midterms!!"
"What?!” you blanched, “ Who said I was doing that?"
"I did!!” Yamada thumbed at his own brilliance, “ C’mon I'll do the first one with you!"
"First one– Dude, I don't need to be touting my Southern-ass self to a bunch of pros before I even make a name for myself here."
"This is HOW you'll do it! Come n’ wow them, break the ice- you’ll do amazing!" Yamada came to your side of the settee, tugging you up to your feet with little fight. "Tch, Sho, you're rubbing off on her, aren't you? Turning our sweet teach into a wallflower as we speak, huh?"
"She was doing me a favor- has an eye out for me when I needed an escape, unlike you." Aizawa droned, to your amusement.
"Yeah yeah fair enough. Now pleeeeeease, would you come inside?  It would be so much fun!"
From the way you’re freshening your jacket collar, you’re warmed from the neck up, caught between what just almost happened and the current situation Yamada is putting you in.
You look to Aizawa just like you did inside– a  glance, but it lingers longer than before. Like you are waiting to see what he thinks. If he’ll stay or go, should you leave. 
But Aizawa isn’t so selfish like before. He doesn’t feel it necessary to keep you to himself, because he sees your affection so clearly in your eyes now. He hosts butterflies in his stomach, yes, but they aren’t frantic and flitting about wondering what you may or may not think of him- chronically tired and a contrast to the breath of fresh air you are. You see him as a companion, too. Someone he might just get the chance to study, and learn, and adore in return.
No, he knows you like him as he is. Knows you’ll choose to meet him where he stands. He can share you, and will simply watch on as you stun him even more...
The Pro-Hero is desperate for some eyedrops in all this wind outside, but he would grin and bear it if you choose to deny Yamada’s pull on you. So instead, he merely leans forward to perch on his knees, with a hand on the lip of both your drinks. What Aizawa says in his non-answer left it open to what you wanted to do.  Stay or go, he’d follow suit.
Returning to the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed fellow teacher, you breathily gave in with your ‘ok’. 
"YEAAAAAUHHHH!"
"Damn peer pressure."
"You said yes," Aizawa smirked.
"Oh if she’s going, you're coming in too!" Hizashi was already whisking you away, and Aizawa rose on his own, following your knowing smile over your shoulder and matching it. 
With many forced karaoke and radio show nights, it’s Aizawa who braves the crowd and comes up behind you at one of Present Mic’s shows,  stepping in from the balcony where you wait by its door. He’s fresh off of work, sporting a new scar across his cheek courtesy of his day job, this time.. but you greet him with that familiar scrunch of the nose that he still finds adorable.
It’s rare he leaves campus nowadays, because he feels the stakes are higher than ever for him to remain vigilant. His students are his life, and as proud of them as he is, they are a constant effort of his mind and strength. Rest doesn’t come easy, and his rewards for a job (passably) done aren’t found in many places. 
One constant he has found helps, has been you. 
You, still alluring as ever, but who makes sure he doesn’t fixate on giving and giving of himself until he breaks– but to take his rests, reset, and even take a little jaunt over to these radio shows when he has staff coverage back at the dorms. Gives you two some time to get nostalgic, sentimental– or as close as he can get to those mushy spots in his heart about the club where he wrestled out his feelings for you for the first time.
He smooths a hand across your lower back now, when he joins you. He’s held onto your hands when they're cold, giving you whatever warmth he has. He knows each and every gap on your resume, partnered with you out on the streets, tag-teams in his classroom with this plucky 1-A Class he now leads, and is content to let you fill his thoughts when he wants to rest his eyes.
He doesn’t fight his affections now. Still would rather not simper in public too much because he’s quite averse to being the center of tabloids’ attentions, but stands by you all the same. 
"I'm surprised to not see you up there,” Aizawa greets, cool as ever. 
You lean on a hip, closer to him. 
"He's got his sets lined up today, didn't ask me-” You speak a little louder over the crowd, “I swear, your cockatoo still acts like I'm some gift from the heavens, just ‘cuz I can sing!"
"It's earned. You deserve every bit of it, and not just from Hizashi."
You turned over to him shyly, drawing his attention further– your tendencies to melt under his words encourages Aizawa to compliment you directly. Often. Whatever it is about his voice that you say you’re obsessed with, he still doesn’t understand– but he uses it to full advantage as he robs your drink from your hand,
"I happen to think you have a gorgeous voice," Aizawa speaks low to your ear. “You should sing at home more often.”
“Please. As if the kids would ever let me live it down.”
You refer -of course- to the twenty shared students between you, taking them all in stride since you’ve sufficiently bonded through fire alongside them. 
“That’s teaching for ya. Gotta push yourself beyond, plus ultra and all that.”
You chortle back in your throat, risking a kiss on his etched cheek to counter his snide remark, 
“You’re off the clock, ‘Zawa. No more hero talk, huh?” 
Aizawa cocks a brow, stealing a sip, “Sorry we can’t all turn it off like you, dear.”
The comment has you biting the inside of your mouth at the tease, and allows him a quick moment to press the glass’ condensation against his eye. 
“Want some air, hon?” you try again, softer than this atmosphere should allow.
Looking back at you -your hold on his elbow ready to guide him outside just like the first night- and Aizawa doesn’t need any more sips of the whiskey he holds.  
The retreat to ‘your couch’ is one he looks forward to any chance he gets. Bass boosted from the speakers inside becomes background noise that dulls his senses, doubled by the way you cozy up under his arm watching the skyline shift in light and color in comfortable silence. You trade roles with him: taking watch while he shuts his eyes for some restorative hydration. 
But before he gets too terribly relaxed by your weight settling his aching muscles to stillness, he registers a warm press to his mouth that he’s quick to chase after. That’s a satisfying thought, too: he doesn't have to imagine what it'd be like to kiss you anymore. 
47 notes · View notes
faeriekit · 19 hours
Note
So, I've been thinking about working in a library. I know you took Library Sciences but what other courses/qualifications did you need, and could you please give me an opinion on why I should/shouldn't go into this field? Thanks
So, firstly, I didn't just take a couple library sciences courses; I had to finish a Master's degree in library and information science after my bachelor's. This was a two-year course if one went full time, which most people do not. Most people spread it out over several years...but I was paying out of pocket and the tuition fees build up the longer you take to finish your degree.
Real talk; it's very hard to break into libraries as a career. The easiest way in is networking. I will always, always, always recommend volunteering at a local library before you decide if this is the life path for you because the idealized work of what a library is supposed to look like almost never matches up with reality. The library is largely patron-facing customer service and possibly event-planning if you end up being roped into providing programming for the library as a responsibility. Most people think you can just sort of hide in the stacks and shush people, which... 😅
All my info is largely going to be US specific since I went to school and work here but working in a library, unless you're in a labor-starved area, is almost always going to be tough monetarily. You are a public servant. The easiest jobs to get in a library are the most labor intensive and may be only available part-time, even if they do not require an MLS or MLIS. Library jobs are chronically in short supply. Some people look for ages before they even land an interview, nevermind actually landing a job they compromise to take. I worked my way up from part time to a library student to a full on librarian, but that took time and resources and stable housing and a Master's degree and money I had saved up from a job where I had very little expenses at the time, AND I did it during the earliest parts of covid where a loooooot of people very swiftly retired. If you want a library career where you have enough money to support yourself long-term, can pay your bills, and get a pension, it is highly likely that you are going to need a Master's Degree in library science. Otherwise, you're going to be in a department where you don't need one but are limited in how far you can rise up ladder without one, like circulation (book movers) tech (tech) or administration (back-end business stuff).
So. Barrier for entry is pretty high.
I love working at the library and everything it entails. It's customer service, but I never have to sell anything to patrons! I love recommending books to kids! I love reading to them! I love visiting schools! I love doing crafts with the kids! I love setting up crafts for the kids!! I love picking out what we do for the next season! I love filling the bubble machine! I love setting up for the library's halloween party, and getting to see all the outfits! I love dressing up! I love seeing the new kids books when they come out! I love my coworkers! I love the building the library is in! I love that I work (relatively) close to home! I love the people I meet and the kids I get to watch grow up!! I see the babies turn into people and get all sassy and playful and start reading different books! I love my job!! (*turns into goo*)
Ahem.
So, between all that and the government pension, there's a lot going for a librarian job. I know other people love other parts of librarianship, like the archivists' satisfaction at maintaining and preserving their collection to the love and empathy adult services has for their adult students and aging patron base. I know that circulation loves being the movers and shakers and arbiters of access for the entire library-- and hell, if it had been financially viable, I would have loved to stay a circ employee. There are other back-end jobs in libraries too, like tech support and administration, although they never really see the patrons or books on the floor.
Ultimately, your career choice is up to you. I just want to let you know the risks before you pursue a library degree, since that's no guarantee it'll get you the job environment you like. Also there are a lot of weird things that happen in libraries— like midway through this post I had to stop because a random lady came up and asked me to start her crochet project...? She had no way of knowing if I even knew how to crochet. She just guessed. Whack.
Anyway, my realest advice is, before making any decision, to volunteer in a library for a while. You'll meet local library workers to network with, get used to the flow of the job, and have something to add to your resume for long-term benefits and maybe a letter of recommendation from the library down the line. Either you'll like it, or you won't! Either way,though, you'll still have something new to your resume.
Good luck! 📚 There's a lot of things to love about libraries, but uh...times is hard lol
32 notes · View notes
Note
Hii! I just found your works and I am IN LOVEEEE OMGGG 🫶🫶
I’m not too good at requesting these things, but could I ask for a Logan Howlett x short! AFAB reader?
I’m 4’11 and haven’t grown since sophomore year of high school, and everyone I know comments on it in every sort of way, and usually in a demeaning, teasing kind of way. (Like, going out of their way to make fun of me and stuff I can’t do, or how they can’t take me seriously). And no one listens to me when I tell them that it’s starting to hurt my feelings or be annoying lol
It can be a full fic or just a couple HC’s, up to you!!! Please take your time and don’t forget to take care of yourself 🫶
YES OFC I wish I got more asks bru
Anyway thank you
Tw ⚠ : short reader, afab reader, sexual tension, sexual talking, protective logan, masturbation (f),
You lay in you bed not wanting to go downstairs, logan had been gone for days on a mission for Xavier to find another mutant and she had to sub for Storm because because there both gone.
Logan was supposed to call you after class so you reluctantly got up got dressed and went downstairs to the classroom, you always hated leaving your room without Logan he was practically your bodyguard because of how some of the other girls treated you because of your hight you are 4'11 after all and they always told you she looked like a kid but when logan stepped in they left you alone.
There was even a time when you almost threw the girl into the fountain for bullying her but logan put a stop to it ever since then he always took a liking to you.
You made it to the classroom with no run-ins land waited for your students to show up for class you were teaching how to control your powers with mind, body and soul.
Storm is better then me with children
You thought to yourself as the kids started walking in, you waved at them as they took there seats and began your lesson.
After you were done you got a call from logan.
"Hey bub." He talked into the phone, you looked down at the floor wishing he was here instead.
"I'm really hungry,but the kids were fine," you walked back to your room. "And I miss you when will you be back?"
He looked around the hotel. "Me and the others should be back tomorrow afternoon." You laid in bed and looked at his side.
"I want you so bad loagn I wish you were here with me," he regretted taking this mission knowing it would be stressful for you. "Touching me, and telling me I'm yours." You moaned into the phone.
His pants tightened thinking of you laying on your bed waiting for him.
"Trust me honey I'll be there soon enough, now sit and be a good girl for me when I get back I love you." He hung up the phone after your goodbyes
And you sat there trying to fall asleep but after three hours you just gave up, you couldn't stop thinking about Logan and the way he would have gotten you to sleep, rubbing your back and your thighs.
I wonder what he would do to me right now ?
You thought to yourself as you rubbed your inner thigh, your hand had other plans when it started rubbing your clit thinking about him
You picked up your phone to call him and see if he's awake, turns out he was
"Logan." You moaned, he could here the wet sounds from the other end of the line.
"Y/n you need to go to bed, I can't talk there gonna here you." He quietly yelled at you.
"No please I need you now loagn I can't wait any longer." You mewled.
"Y/n please you need to wait So i can actually fuck you." Logan couldn't lie the thought of you playing with yourself was making him hard but he had to control himself or he was gonna wake up Storm.
Your orgasm was coming, and he knew it. "Baby, I want you inside me, please." You begged as you came over the phone.
He hated when you did this sometimes you always got what you wanted when you called him like this and he wasn't gonna just let you tease him he wants to touch you but your not here and he's gonna put a stop to it.
"Y/n stop calling me horny when you know I can't touch you like I want, your teasing me your gonne be the death of me." He hung up the phone.
You gasped not believing he just hung up the phone on you like that.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Ok how do we feel about me writing logan I love hugh jackman and I was waiting for something like this should I make a part two?
32 notes · View notes
jewish-vents · 11 hours
Note
i’m a teacher and i had a kid draw a swastika in my classroom on like. the second day of school. so one of our admin came in to two of my classes the next day to talk about it. and she started by telling this story about how she had a hijabi student. and a boy in the class was “really curious about what her hair looked like.” and had the students guess what happened next (pulled the hijab off, gross and awful) and how that might have made the hijabi student feel. at this point i’m sitting at my desk like “it’s been five minutes are we going to talk about the swastika” and then she finally goes “yesterday someone drew a symbol that represents division. and hate. and those aren’t things we stand for” and a kid (of course) was like what was it? and this fucking woman turns to me and goes “are you comfortable sharing what it was?”
?????? i thought that’s why you were here?? i thought you were here to explain why swastikas are not okay, and we are seven minutes into your little presentation and you haven’t said the word swastika or even jewish. so i said it was a swastika and several of the kids didn’t know what that was. which was disturbing on its own as i teach middle school but i digress. i said no way in hell am i drawing one so my admin looks at me and is like “could you google a picture?”
can’t believe i did this but i didn’t know what else to do in the moment so i pulled up a google image search of swastikas and projected it on the board. at no point did the admin say “hey you can take that down now” it just sat up there until i got uncomfortable and sick to my stomach enough to close it myself. and then she came back the next period and did the WHOLE song and dance again (no jewish, no antisemitism, not even the word NAZI which is insane to me) and STILL told the opening story about the hijabi girl even with two hijabi girls sitting in the class this time who were clearly uncomfortable.
this was like three weeks ago and it’s been quietly bothering me for a while and i finally told my (nonjewish) work friends about it and they were all like “holy shit that’s so fucked that she asked you to do that” and i told my (jewish) partner and he went “she couldn’t have picked up a fucking marker??” and that was when it really hit me.
maybe she didn’t want to be in a situation where she drew a swastika on a jewish teachers whiteboard. ok. but she apparently didn’t consider the WORSE implications of asking that same jewish teacher to google an image of a swastika and project a google image search of a page FULL of swastikas on her board.
AND she never once checked in with me after that. she left the class without talking to me again and hasn’t said a word about it since. i remember i even asked her “do you want me to leave the room” beforehand because im thinking i don’t want to have to look at swastikas but she asked me to stay because “the impact is real and they need to see it” which. uh. i’ve been pushing this experience down for weeks bc at the end of the day it “wasn’t that bad” but like. holy shit. she really wanted to put my trauma on display for the students instead of just asking me to leave and explaining what a swastika is/showing them one. and it took her nearly ten minutes to get to the actual swastika!! i’m just. so done
.
35 notes · View notes
otomehonyaku · 15 hours
Text
DIABOLIK LOVERS More, More Blood Vol. 12 Ruki ☽ Animate Tokuten CD ☽ Living A Normal School Life For Once!
Tumblr media
Original title: たまにはまともに学園生活! Voiced by Sakurai Takahiro English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (kindly provided by @karleksmumskladdkaka!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
One very unhinged tokuten... I appreciate Ruki's persistence when it comes to defending us/Yui, but he's definitely taking it too far dkfjdkfd ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ Have fun listening and reading along!
Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
[The scene starts at the academy. Ruki finds you after class.]
00:00 Hey. What are you doing?
[He startles you and you accidentally drop the papers you were holding.]
You turned around so frantically that you dropped your things.
[Ruki bends down to gather the papers you dropped.]
‘Off-campus learning guidebook’?  I see. These are the prints that’ll be bound into the actual guidebooks. I suppose I don’t even have to ask you why you’re carrying them.  You’re letting the teachers order you around again. Have you forgotten how to say ‘no’? Those kinds of people will never make you see the end of it if you don’t. Anyway, let’s bring these to the teacher’s office. Then your job will be over, right? Oh? What’s the matter?
[You tell him that you still have to bind the books.]
Why did you let it come that far? You’re going to do the bookbinding? If you have to make them for all the students, it’ll take an absurd amount of time. Those fucking tyrannical teachers, setting students to work like slaves for their own benefit… You’re my possession more than anything. I don’t like anyone else doing as they please with you. It seems that I’ll have to teach them a lesson.
[You get a little nervous and try to talk him out of it.]
Heh. It shouldn’t be anything beyond your comprehension. You’re so used to doing their dirty work that you’re still trying to cover for them, and I don’t like it. Hey. We’re going to finish this within the hour.
[You tilt your head to the side.]
I’m telling you that I’ll help you. This isn’t something you should be wasting your time on. If any other requests come in after this, I’ll be right behind you to crush their hopes before they even get to talk to you. This is what we’re going to do, so let’s get to work quickly. At this hour, there should be plenty of empty classrooms available. We’ll bind these guidebooks in the blink of an eye.
[The scene shifts to an empty classroom.]
02:30 Alright. Let’s take care of this as quickly as we can. Each book has 16 pages… Let’s fold the papers and staple them. That should be easy enough. When doing it for all students, though, it’s pretty hard work. Efficiency is key when binding books.  Let’s try it out on a small scale first. We don’t have time to redo everything if we mess it up. Start with the front cover and line up the prints in order.
[You get to work.]
Off-campus learning is a waste of time, though. It’s foolish to think there are things to learn outside of the classroom. Unless you’re actively trying to gain something, there’s no way you can learn anything. For example, let’s say we’re taking a field trip to a museum. Museums have many precious artefacts on display. However, whether it be ancient Greek sculptures, coffins of saints—to a fool, they’re all weight stones (1). Yeah. They have no value just standing there. You’re going through all that trouble to bring all the students there only to look at a room full of weight stones. Don’t you think that’s funny?
04:01 Or, wait—weight stones do have value.  You can press vegetables with them to make pickles, so they’re actually quite helpful. Going to an exhibition on weight stones might be a meaningful way to spend time after all.
[You doubt that.]
What’s with that expression?  The flavour of the end product varies depending on the weight of the stone. That’s not something to make light of. If we actually were to go on an exhibition on weight stones for our off-campus learning, I’d appreciate it.
[You wonder if an exhibition like that even exists.]
You have a good point. We might as well go to a hardware store. That’s just a shopping trip. If we’re going shopping, I’d rather it be just you and me. I refuse to go around in such large groups.
[You’ve both made some progress with the bookbinding at this point.]
Where are we going, anyway? There should be information about the destination somewhere on one of these pages… Is this it? So we’re going to a nearby mountain. To think the school wll go to such lengths to get the students off campus… Hiking, learning about the beauty of nature… You’ve got to be kidding me. Besides, the true beauty of nature can’t be found at the foot of a mountain like this. Lend me your pen. I’ll change the route.
[You stare at Ruki for a moment.]
Didn’t you hear me? Give me your pen. I’ll shatter the hopes of whoever thinks they can challenge a mountain when they’re only in the mood for a stroll.
[Ruki starts drawing on the map.]
Let’s make them climb the steep slope on the other side of the mountain. The landscape varies a lot around this area. People will start falling behind because they lose motivation. This should do the trick. Surely, the harshness of mountain climbing will sink deeply into their minds. Don’t you think it’s a good route?
[You tell him that sounds dangerous.]
06:01 Of course it’s dangerous. It’s mountain climbing. There’s no way you can reach a summit without putting your life on the line.
[You’re at a loss for words.]
Does that surprise you? Did you think it would suffice to go on a trip to a mountain without admiring the scenery from the summit? If this off-campus learning is intended to teach students about the beauty of nature, there’s no better way to do it than to climb a mountain to its very top. Which means you also need the appropriate gear.
[Ruki leafs through the booklet until he finds the list of supplies that’s already there.]
A lunch box, a water bottle, a towel… You can’t be serious. Don’t ever think you can survive on a mountain with these things.
[Ruki grabs his pen and gets to work again.]
I crossed out all the things you don’t need. I’ll make a list of the things you do need for mountain climbing. Even in case of a disaster, this should heighten your chances of survival.
[You still don’t really know what to say.]
What are you acting so surprised for? There’s always a chance of a disaster happening. Listen. If you value your life, don’t take mountain climbing lightly. Bear in mind that we’re talking about off-campus learning. Ah, right. I’ll also write down some important points to take into account in case of an emergency.
[Ruki looks at the points that were already listed in the booklet.]
Hm? ‘Watch out for the snakes’? What’s with this warning paragraph? ‘Snakes are aggressive creatures, so they attack easily’? This is nonsense. Listen up. You should get this through your head as well. First of all, there are many different kinds of snakes, of course. I’m not saying it’s true one hundred percent of the time, but snakes tend to be timid, docile creatures. They will not attack humans unprovoked. If you see one between the grass, it’s best to quietly avoid it. Of course, venomous and aggressive snakes do exist. It goes without saying that you should never let your guard down. Got it?
[You tell him you understand.]
08:11 That’s the answer I was looking for. Good, even for you. Still, this off-campus learning is intended to deepen the students’ knowledge, but this booklet doesn’t give me much hope… Planting misinformation is evil in itself, don’t you think? Well, alright. I won’t be holding back anymore. I’ll thoroughly rewrite this page as well. A bit on the ecology of snakes and the varieties that may live on the mountain… Ah, I’ll also include some fun facts about snakes. You’ve heard much about the snake in the Garden of Eden, right? Wait, but if I were to write about that, I’d have to touch upon the story of Adam and Eve and the forbidden apple as well… And while we’re on the subject of apples, anyway, I might as well add some simple and delicious recipes. It’s witty and it makes for worthwhile reading, right? I’ll stick to recipes for two servings.
[You think Ruki is taking it too far. You try to stop him.]
Hey, don’t grab my arm! You’ll mess up my writing.
[You tell him you’ll never finish it in time.]
Heh. That’s all? That’s no problem. I planned on finishing binding the booklets well within the hour, with time to spare. But look at how awful the content is! That certainly changes things. I will revise this entire off-campus learning guidebook and confront the teacher with it. Like, “This is what true learning is!”
[You yell at him to stop.]
Don’t yell! Setting up plans like these is my forte. Come to think of it, the destination wasn’t appropriate to begin with. There’s nothing interesting about a mountain a few train stops away. Maybe at least one train transfer and a few hours away by car… Somewhere off the beaten path. Although I’d rather pick a woodland area for fostering one’s survival instincts… That means it should definitely take place somewhere around here… Yes. I’ll also add a recipe using the local specialties of this area. 
[Ruki puts down his pen.]
10:36 Alright! Perfect. I think I did pretty well. I chose a place of which the chances of survival are at least ten percent. If you approach it like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do, you can probably make it out alive if you’re lucky. There are no drawbacks to such experiences. Or rather, someone must teach today’s carefree youth what it’s like to walk the line between life and death. To spend your days in the mud. Well, then! Let’s go to the teachers’ office. We’re going to present this. This is revenge for the work they’ve made you do on these prints.
[Ruki starts gathering the booklets.]
Let’s teach those foolish humans the true meaning of off-campus learning!
[You’ve had enough of his antics. You grab onto him and try to keep him from leaving.]
Hey! Don’t hold me back. Come on, don’t pull at me like that! If you don’t watch out, I’ll drop all the—Ah!
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
漬物(つけもの)の石(いし): A weight stone used to press the moisture out of pickles (tsukemono) in Japan. I was going to go with a paperweight analogy instead, as this made a bit more sense for non-Japanese audiences while still making sense for Ruki’s character, but it was a bit difficult to line that up with his explanation...
25 notes · View notes
full-of-malice · 16 hours
Text
me and my friends are being bitter about ai and nanowrimo again. as one of the kids who was part of the group that made the tag of "#nanopocalypse" as a term for what was happening on our website as we were silenced and groomed and our lives went to shit. our lives were falling apart. it was the nanopocalypse for us. that's why we called it that and have referred to the entire situation as that. and we were the only ones who actually put anything in the "#anti nanowrimo" tag to begin with to talk about our hatred and struggles with being groomed. a desperate and ignored attempt to call awareness
so as someone who put in the work and lost days of my life and will not be the same person again and put tears and long days while trying to juggle my school and personal life, checking in on my friends and ensuring that they were okay, it feels really shitty honestly to watch tumblr take the nanopocalypse tag so they can make themselves feel good by talking shit about the ai policy. it's Exhausting. you guys are a solid year late in support and hatred for nano that we could've used when we were trying to get the website halfway shut down. we have been Trying to tell you. there were tiktoks, twitter, threads, youtube videos, tumblr posts, and it's just exhausting that suddenly the trendy hatred of ai is what gets popular. idk if feels like you all just jump on the trend to be the cool savior and hate on ai and write their posts that do nothing informative of helpful and just say "fuck nanowrimo" instead of hating on it for the actually important reasons.
nanopocalypse was the specific instance a year ago in november of 2023, when ywp (young writer program) website users were sick of being abused, neglected, and being in the dark. the mods started banning us just for voicing our issues and wanting change. we took to. the adult forums and talked to adult users who were in the midst of the own issues as well. we finally found adults who believed our struggles and were on our side. on their website there was child grooming involved too, the fbi was allegedly getting contacted it was so bad. after years finally someone was listening. yet within days they turned on us and told us we were too young and had no place in "their home" of the website and that our concerns for our community and wanting to be involved were no necessary. they started twisting our words against us and picking us apart. i spent days fighting with adults just for basic things, adults who claimed not two or three days ago that they supported us and would fight for us and were so sorry for the way we were treated only to turn around and treat us remarkably the same. there was one nanopocalypse.
it's exhausting to have to reiterate our struggles to people on the internet who don't and won't listen, but don't use our terms that we a group of abused and groomed teens made for a one time occurrence and tag that was for us and our struggles a place for us to talk and raise awareness. a place that got ignored until a year too late so ai issues could talk over us.
so fuck nanowrimo. not for the ai, but for the children who suffered for years in silence. the ai should be an afterthought, not the front of the problem.
if anyone's interested either in a separate post or in the reblogs i'll make an extensive list of any youtube videos, tiktoks, tumblr post links, and twitter links that i know of on the situation if you want. i will gladly answer any question anyone has because i've tried to educate people on this for a long time and no one will listen
20 notes · View notes
raymondshields · 6 months
Text
Man, knowing that I'm less than two weeks from my last final is really shaking me because I have so many things I said I'd do after I graduate and they're very close now!!!
One of them is going to be leaving all the discord servers I don't talk in and also pruning following / friends lists like hell and back. This will allow me to finally come off invisible on discord, and it'll be nice to have discord statuses available to me again ;~;
10 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 7 months
Text
🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
13 notes · View notes
realboutfatalfury · 1 year
Text
it might just be bc it's late and i get sad sometimes when it's late but i'm sad i like feeel soooo bad about several things and i feel like i want to cry but i can't ughh idk...
#just gonna like write out my problems in the tags bc that like helps me process them 👍#first of i feel like i can't connect well with people at all#especially with people in school.. there are some people i am fine with i can like talk with them fine and feel a connection#but then like with others i just feel..so out of touch with them idk#i just feel like they don't want to be around me anymore and i'm just some annoying guy that is there#but like i know that isn't true (hopefully)#ugggh and then like i go back to thinking they do actually not like me and yeah just a whole loop going on#after i get tired of thinking about that i think about school in general and start getting stressed about it#even though i am doing alright it's idk..#it;s just i'm like thinking of stuff that happens later through the school year and thinking i want things to get finished quickly#i like want to get my paintings and projects done already but i gotta think and take my time and shit!#i want it done now so i won't have to do it anymore even though i do like working on them#when i work on something i want to like sit down and work on it till it's done#which is kind of a not good habit to have i know i've been trying to like try to get rid of it#or like minimize it#ok i'm like reading over these and like. i think it's bc i might be neurodivergent.#i keep forgetting i got a high score in that autism test...hmmm#anyway also stressed about this camping trip for school that happens next week#1) my mom keeps nagging me about how i am physically weak to like go camping but still wants me to go to it#2) we have to be in groups and you don't like get assigned one you have to like just form it... which like#if you've read above i am having trouble with people and connecting hence i haven't found a group yet orz...#and that's like it for that.#school is just stressing a bit and i don't want that....#last problem is like kind of dumb but like my youtube feed has sucky videos i don't want to watch and i haaaaate it.#it's like it doesn't get me at all.....whatever...#ok i think that's like enough...feel a bit better laying it all out#still feel those things but like doing this made me feel better feeling this way and understand them#feeling things is good and alright 👍
4 notes · View notes
kotori-mochi · 10 months
Text
Can't afford art school?
After seeing post like this 👇
Tumblr media
And this gem 👇
Tumblr media
As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.
Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.
📺Here is my list:
Proko (Free, mostly teaches anatomy and how to draw people. But does have art talks and teaches the basics.)
Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard and teaches you everything)
Aaron Rutten (free, tips about art, talks about art programs and the best products for digital art)
BoroCG (free, teaches a verity of art mediums from 3D modeling to digital painting. As well as some tips that can be used across styles)
Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)
Jesus Conde (free, teaches digital painting and has classes in Spanish)
Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)
Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price. Mostly teaching character designs and simple backgrounds.)
SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)
Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)
The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney. Mostly nature art)
Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)
Sinix Design (has some tips on drawing people)
Winged canvas (art school for free on a verity of mediums)
Bob Ross (just a good time, learn how to paint, as well as how too relax when doing art. "there are no mistakes only happy accidents", this channel also provides tips from another artist)
Scott Christian Sava (Inspiration and provides tips and advice)
Pikat (art advice and critiques)
Drawbox (a suggested cheap online art school, made of a community of artist)
Skillshare (A cheap learning site that has art classes ranging from traditional to digital. As well as Animation and tutorials on art programs. All under one price, in the USA it's around $34 a month)
Human anatomy for artist (not a video or teacher but the site is full of awesome refs to practice and get better at anatomy)
Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.
📚Here is my list:
The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.
"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.
"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.
"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.
"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.
"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.
"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.
"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.
"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.
Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.
📝As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. If you want to go fancy Michaels is always a good place for traditional supplies. They also get in some good sales and discounts. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are usually more expensive.
For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.
💻As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.
Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates. Galaxy, Windows, macOS, iPad, iPhone, Android, or Chromebook device. )
Procreate ( pay once for $9.99 usd, IPAD & IPHONE ONLY)
Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, animation and more. Free)
PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)
Krita (Free)
mypaint (free)
FireAlpaca (free)
Aseprite ($19.99 usd but has a free trail, for pixel art Windows & macOS)
Drawpile (free and for if you want to draw with others)
IbisPaint (free, phone app ONLY)
Medibang (free, IPAD, Android and PC)
NOTE: Some of these can work on almost any computer like Clip and Sai but others will require a bit stronger computer like Blender. Please check their sites for if your computer is compatible.
So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.
I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.
Hope this was helpful and have a great day.
"also apologies for any spelling or grammar errors, I have Dyslexia and it makes my brain go XP when it comes to speech or writing"
58K notes · View notes
arolesbianism · 2 months
Text
I've been digging up some one of my most neglected stories recently and I'm finally actually developing the rest of the cast after like what? 7 or 8 years or smth? I genuinely don't know when I first thought up Lace but she's been floating at the edge of my mind since then as my token true timeloop guy as opposed to Butters who doesn't rly count because the quote unquote timeloop was entirely within their control and only was a continuous loop because they kept consciously trying again and again. Lace on the other hand. Legitimately 100% powerless in her timeloop situation, as in there was quite literally Nothing she could do to end the loops herself. Some gods just threw her in a 50 year timeloop without even doing the bare minimum of telling her first and she just sorta had to live with that until it from her perspective abruptly stopped leaving her to deal with the fallout of everything she went through now that she's suddenly being forced to live a real life again. And as fun as all of that is it has been very stagnated for years because there is in fact a story and world that exists outside of and around this one plot that matter quite a bit and that I have been refusing to properly work on until now lol.
#rat rambles#oc posting#take a wild guess as to why Im thinking abt this story again#anyways longggg story short this is a world filled with various gods that run various kingdoms and such#and some of them have been at war for a long time leaving things for the common folk very unstable and chaotic#due to this adventuring parties started helping ppl out and some of them would gain the blessing of their local god(s)#nowadays its very uncommon for there to be prevelant parties without at least one blessed member and theres some gods who even have set up#schools of sorts for aspiring heros that tend to be very competitive and hard to get into#in the original version of the timeline of this story most of the cast except one met at this school and graduated as a party together#they proceeded to travel around doing their work and picking up their last party member and bonding and all that#until eventually they found out that the god they work under was planning some apocalypse level shit in order to establish control over the#entire planet and the crew turned on her and tried to stop her and got close enough that she took desperate mesures to stop them#she contacted the god of time and commissioned them to rewind and edit the timeline#and while the timeline editing meant that they couldnt rewind enough to go before two of the party were attending the school#they were able to rewrite lace out of the timeline and was able to help sentence them to a timeloop sentence#lace was specifically targeted for being the one who figured most of this stuff out in the first place#now this is where the timeline get a bit wonky because her timeloop actually takes place later on then when time was reset to#it mostly just took a while to get the loop set up but its still a mostly undetermined amount of time later atm as it rly depends on whats#most convenient for me as I develop the rest of her old party more#since they still end up forming a party together anyways despite the best efforts of two powerful gods#Im also planning on adding another member to their party who wasnt in the original party so lace can get upset abt it#but yeah currently the rest of the party includes lace's unnamed older sister and three other losers whos designs have been sitting on my#toyhouse for a while lol#theres raiden who's the sort of adopted child of the god they used to serve#and the theres hill who was the one in the original party who they picked up after graduating and she and lace used to be gay together#and lastly theres choice who was supposed to attend the school but in the current version of reality had their wagon shot down and#wasnt able to make it and has been rly upset and frustrated abt that#the last one is probably going to be a potion guy or smth#Ive also been having a fun time thinkng abt how both versions of the party managed combat since both parties distinctly lack a healer#anyways Im going to bed now gn
0 notes
omohole · 9 months
Text
currently at a very Low low in my mental health and it is really not helped by being Back in the hotseat of constantly trying to talk someone elese down from suicide 24/7 like im back in middleschool yippee
1 note · View note
infiniteglitterfall · 8 months
Text
know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
Tumblr media
I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
8K notes · View notes
Text
yeah but i really got fucked over by the people i told this abt loll
#some of yall might remember my vent posts and stuff and yeah this situation didnt end well for me#i could talk abt this for hours honestly this is so messed up#yknow ive been thinking how i never really tell my friends what i go through at home anymore bc i began to doubt myself#even tho i KNOW it all happened. They did abuse me. Still do. But some part of me thinks#that i just made this up or that it wasnt actually that bad. even though it was. it was so much fucking worse. and having to go through it#again and again and again. i have no words. sometimes my mind just goes blank bc i dont want to think abt this stuff. i just want it to be#over.#some part of me thinks that if i tell somebody im ruining my abusers lives. even though theyre the one ruining mine. nothing can harm them.#especially my words. they will never face consequences bc the system doesnt work. and i dont want to ruin their life.#i just want it to be over.#i just want to go on and live my life and leave this all behind and start anew.#im an awful person. i have younger siblings and this was the only reason i decided to go through with telling someone at school abt this. bc#i didnt want them to suffer like me. i knew what their mindless actions did to me. and to see my siblings go through that.#but my sister absolutely hates me for telling the school#she says shes ashamed to go there bc people know#she thinks i made it up for attention even though she literallywas there when they beat me. she was fucking there lmfao#im sorry if this is too much but i need to get this somewhere out. writing it down is not enough and i cant tell this at anyone#kill me💗 the only thing keeping me alive is dreaming. very corny i know. but fantasizing abt my far away future is the only thing making me#go on. thinking abt my life after this ends. but sometimes its not enough and i just spend all my time watching stuff or reading or whatever#just watching stuff abt lives totally different from my own. that helps me focus on something else for a while. sighhhhhh
0 notes