#i can no longer post or rb anything with no tags or with little tags

[blxxdyivory]

## Pinned post for all info about blxxdyivory & finding what you need. ##

## updated 05/14/24 ##

💋 FRESH BLOOD? 💋

🥀 READ THIS FIRST 🥀

PUT YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO/PINNED OR BLOCKED ON SIGHT. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS.

dni: shitty people, creeps, blanks, minors.

Please block my blog if anything I’ve posted makes you uncomfortable. I ask that you do not report me as there’s much worse content on this hellsite that doesn’t get taken down and I’m simply residing in my little corner of the internet with the other horny folk. Thank you!!

Every post is written with the presupposition that each party involved in the posts are of legal age (18+ or older based on your area) and are consenting adults.

Every post is fantasy.

Do not pursue me. I am not interested in you romantically or sexually in the slightest. I have been taken from the world + refer to her as v. I am in a closed monogamous demisexual relationship + want nothing to do with anyone who is not v.

You can send asks about whatever you want or submit pictures/videos of kittens (actual baby cats, the filus catus, uncommonly referred to as a domesticated carnivorous mammal) or any other non-gross thing (refer to what I post and reblog for what I’m willing to see). If it involves explicit nudity I do not want it in my askbox. It is a place for saying words or sending content of similar interest to mine, not to show off your body parts or partners. Thank you!!

I do NOT roleplay with ANYONE. No exceptions. I’ll possibly write something if you send a suggestion on anon. Or read some of my other text content + find new stuff that works for you.

You are not v. I do not owe you a fucking thing.

DMs are closed.

New color codes:

red - dom fantasies / normal post color

purple - sub fantasies

Kinks I write about or rb:

cnc, somno, knifeplay, bloodplay, petplay, praise, degradation, stalking, kidnapping, obslove, autassassinophilia, overstimulation, + more

Things you may see posted you didn’t expect:

memes, blood, knives, teasing gifs, horror movie scenes (including blood, gore, or nudity), castles, churches, nature, landscapes, water, art, hands, bodies, anime, animals, movies, & other random shit that isn’t necessarily ‘nsfw’ 24/7 but I still find aesthetically stimulating or entertaining enough to reblog.

you can use my tag #blxxdy.txt to only see stuff I have written, or related sexual tags to find any stuff I may have written about that you’re looking for.

Click read more for info about this blog and myself 🖤

About Me

You can call me Cinder. I’m 22, pronouns he/they, and mostly enjoy writing dom perspective scenarios and (rarely) longer short-stories. I have a high sex drive & work at a timeslave camp Amazon. This is my blog to express my horny thoughts, reblog interests, and escape reality. I am fucked up. If you are not fucked up you may not enjoy your stay here. I grew up on dark parts of the internet so I am desensitized to a lot of things. Everything I post may not be for everyone. I do however try to refrain from posting anything too extreme or tag them as mature content.

I like goth, cute, pretty, sexy, badass, brutal, and dark content, and I write horny, wholesome, dark, and kinky prose or short stories, and make shitposts/questions/polls every once in a while. All my tags are below if you need help finding certain posts. I don’t tag everything sadly but hopefully they help!

Everything I alone specifically have written can be found under the tag “#blxxdyivory” as this is my main tag for every post I personally write.

TAGS—for navigation

- #blxxdyivory for everything by me (to filter out the miscellaneous reblogs and only see my text content)

- #blxxdy.txt for text posts

- #blxxdy.ask for asks & answers

- #blxxdy.jpg for images

- #blxxdy.poll for polls

- #blxxdy.sub for my sub posts

search my page for any specific tags related to specific kinks to find semi-organized posts that hopefully haven’t been misclassified by me spam tapping my suggested tags on a lot of posts I write.

if you think you may know me irl, you don’t.

~ cinder

[pointdotiozao]

The wait list for 2024 is open!

DM me if you’re interested! Rbs are appreciated!

More info under the cut, I'll try to be brief, please read ↓

〃く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡 ₊ ˚ ⊹ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Process and general info

DM or email me (rose_captain@hotmail.com)* your inquiry so we can discuss the quotes and book you a slot if none are available at the moment. *I might take I little longer to reply emails.

Payments are made via PayPal invoices, so I'll need your PayPal email.

All prices are USD.

My wait list is just a rough estimation. The time I take on each work varies and sometimes there are cancellations, as well as other external factors, so even though I'm mostly on time, the possibility I will be a bit late or a bit earlier than expected exists.

IMPORTANT: If you change your url after getting a spot on my wait list please remember to give me a heads up so that later I can still find you!!

It's alright if you need to reschedule your comm for another time, or even just cancel it, just let me know. No cancellations once I have started working though, and no refunds.

I start working after receiving half the payment upfront.

References are appreciated but not required, and well detailed descriptions work just fine, but please try to have all information necessary for the commission ready. (References and/or descriptions for the characters appearances, facial expressions, clothes, poses; background, if any; lighting/type of coloring.)

I won't charge for tattoos of which you provide transparent pngs.

I reserve the right to refuse a commission.

I reserve the right to post my artwork and use it on my portfolio, but I'll keep a commission private if so requested.

The commissions are for personal use only.

Will Do

OCs, fanart, ship art;

Suggestive themes, NSFW, and even fetish art (with only a few exceptions I highly doubt I will encounter here, but who knows);

Gore and body horror;

Animals, humanoids and furries.

In doubt just ask, I'll give almost anything a confident try.

Won't Do

Mecha;

Hateful imagery;

IRL shipping (doesn't apply to actors interpreting characters);

Create new designs (characters, clothes, etc.);

And I will no longer be accepting irl face claims/painting real people on painting style commissions (this doesn't apply to realistic looking video-game characters).

The styles:

Sketch- just the early stage of the drawing, rough forms and somewhat messy lines. May include 1 rough color for emphasis;

Lineart- clean lineart with the brush of your choice (I have 3);

Flat colors- includes lineart and simple coloring, no shadows/source of light;

Shaded- includes lineart, more detailed coloring compared to flat colors, simple lighting/one source of light;

Painting- either pieces with no lineart (regardless of type of lighting), or those which have lineart + complex lighting/two or more sources of light.

You can see more of my art on my blog tagged as #myart. If you find a style you like but is not sure of which category it fits in, just ask me!

〃く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡 ₊ ˚ ⊹ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

And finally, seen below are my other contact info. Most of these accounts are still empty and I honestly don't plan on leaving tumblr, after all the real "tumblr is shutting down" is the friends we made along the way yadda yadda, but seriously my heart can't take it anymore. I'll rather be safe than sorry.

[jaimemes]

Bienvenidos a todos!

For the sake of readability, I’m using proper grammar and a more professional tone for this post, but normally I’m not too uptight about it (unless it’s for the newspaper, of course!).

Anyways, hello! My name is Jaime, I’m a second-year student at Naranja-Uva Academy, as well as the head of the academy’s Journalism Club. I’m currently studying under the Humanities track, with focus on Literature, History, Archeology, and Anthropology!

Yeah, I hang out in Sra. Raifort’s class a lot…

Other than that, I suppose that some other things about me are that I have three Pokemon: Estrella (Espathra), Momoto (Cyclizar), Vela (Sigilyph), and Jorge (Indeedee). I also have a sister. I may bring her up on occasion!

I’m always open to interacting with people on here, so don’t be afraid to shoot me a message!

[OOC: More info under the cut!]

Likes and follows come from @turtblurts-pkmnirl-hub

Things to Know:

Pelipper Mail/Malice: OFF

Musharna Mail/Malice: OFF

Magic Anons: OFF

Though the mun is an adult, the mod is still a minor, so please be mindful of how you interact with this character!

Jaime is a minor psychic but comes from a wealthy family of very powerful psychics. None of this is known to the public in-character.

For those of you who knew Jaime prior to the reboot, be aware that the lore may shift or be slightly different than his previous iteration. We’ll see how this goes! However, this does mean that anything is no longer canon and we're ignoring it.

Jaime has a little sister named Victoria, who he may vague about occasionally. Realistically, she would not have a blog. She’s just kinda Like That.

Also! Every so often, a friend of Jaime’s may hijack the blog and use it as her own for a bit. Just cuz she can. Don’t worry about it <3

Tags

#jai posts -> posts made by jaime, both original or in response to another

#USERZ -> posts made by jaime’s friend, both original or in response to another

#v mention -> posts that mention or include victoria

#jai rbs -> in-character reblogs from jaime

#reblogz -> in-character reblogs from jaime’s friend

#the minds eye -> snippets of jaime’s newsletters posted on the blog

#the mailbox -> ask responses

#los horrores -> general high stakes tag

[cassi-pokeblogging-hub]

Heyo! I'm Cassiopeia!

The following blog is an ooc hub for all my pkmn irl accounts, and where the follows for all the accounts listed later in this post come from! This blog USED to be the rp blog for a character I no longer use and have no motivation for anymore, and is the main blog on this account, so I figured changing it into a hub blog of sorts would be a good idea.

I'm free to answer questions about my ocs ooc here, plot arcs, and generally talk about stuff in the pkmn irl community. I'll also possibly be boosting some accounts I think are cool, reblogging important posts and ask games in the community to hopefully spread them around a bit more, and just generally using this to store some posts about pokemon in general that I think are neat.

Info about the Mod and General Boundaries!

The following is some general information that might be useful. Like I said earlier, I'm Cassiopeia, but you can call me Cass, Cassi, or Pea! I use any pronouns, and I'm an adult (Adult meaning 18 or older in this case.) I'm the host of a system, and a splitroject (or whatever the term is I cant remember) with multiple sources, but notably several pokemon characters. Pokemon has been a systemwide special interest since we were a little kid, and we have a lot of opinions and headcanons, as well as know A LOT about the series as a whole. Our main account is @max-starfall but this is a seperate account so follows for pkmn irl stuff will come from here. A warning that we occasionally reblog heavy stuff or more adult oriented content on that blog (nothing outright nsfw, but usually some suggestive stuff and sexual humor, so minors beware)

I DO check peoples boundaries before I follow so don't worry! Only time I won't is if I miss them. Also sometimes I follow people just cause I think the blog is cool, but I tend to not interact outside of anons just cause while I like your blog, my blogs just can't or wouldn't interact, or I'm a little scared to, yknow?

Any pkmn irl rp account is allowed to interact with p much any of my blogs! Sentient pokemon, legendaries, eebies, etc etc etc. I run on Rotomblr being a multiverse. I may not interact much if our canons diverge too strongly for personal comfort but usually it's whatever cause of the previously mentioned multiverse thing. Some general stuff I go by on all my blogs are people do eat pokemon, and pokemon do eat other pokemon. There are small bugs and bacteria and shit thatre still. alive but not pokemon. Not all pokemon lay eggs. A more mammalian pokemon like stoutland would give live birth like a real dog, and stuff like the more plant like pokemon like sunflora or oddish produce seeds. Not going to go too into details but thats something that happens.

While I am an adult, I prefer not to engage with more suggestive or outright nsfw content on the pkmn irl sphere (but i may rb some suggestive stuff or make brief jokes VERY RARELY, always tagged). There's a lot of minors in this community, and I'd like to keep my blogs generally safe spaces for them to interact. If it's anything you wouldn't joke about with a middle schooler or high schooler, probably not. I try to tag stuff that can be upsetting on all my blogs, and I'll usually ask before doing anything big with anyone elses blogs. There's other stuff, but DNI's don't usually work, so I'll probably just block you if I don't like your vibes.

My tumblr dms are always open, so if you'd like to plot anything out, I'm free to chat here or on the rp account in question! You CAN leave a message on my main account too, but I'd prefer to keep rp stuff here. If you already know my discord and we've chatted in dms there before in the past, that's also an option, but otherwise stick to tumblr.

If you have a problem with me, please tell me because I am stupid. If you don't want me following you please just block me, or tell me straight up because I will not realize.

Pokemon IRL Blogs I run:

Putting these under the cut cause there's a lot. Includes summaries.

@yveltalreal - currently in the process of being rebooted! will update when i get the new rebooted version more established!

@northernwindsglory - A slow eeby deeby. And I mean slow. Glory is a big fan of Legands and Myths, and wants to learn all there is about them! Unfortunately, this has... consequences...

@pure-incense - my attempt at making a normal ass guy i can just interact with a bunch of people with. probably gonna end up being a very active blog but who knows we'll see.

@sd-up - the blog of juno, an ex neoplasma grunt. an exploration of what inspired people to stay with plasma after the whole noble cause was gone, and what happens to people in that kind of environment long after they've been ripped out of it. tw for themes of past cult abuse and generally what comes with a member of evil teams. not a villain blog, but certainly a character with issues

@fruitbasket-gossip - A joint blog with 3 friends. I play Mod Starf. A group of NaraUva students and Blueberry students fucking around on Rotomblr. What will they do? Who knows!

@vital-spirit - A joint blog with a friend! A pmd blog in a setting inspired by various western movies. A whole new set of towns, dungeons, and characters unrelated to those in the various games. I play Lucario.

@blazingvictory -the blog of a bba student with so many problems and issues.

@crater-champion - A blog for Florian, protag of SV, specifically violet in this case. Linked to the Juliana from the blog @union-circle, who is from Scarlet. Another scenario of both games being true yippe. Post DLC and Epilogue. Don't ask him about what happened to Blueberry's League once he left (Please do. He's going to dodge the question like mad and it'll be funny.)

@shields-down - The blog of a VERY excitable Blueberry student named Electra. They're just here to have a good time and be silly.

@dread-plate - A semi-doccumentation of a Challenge Run I'm doing of Ultra Sun. Rift is a dark typed human and former big shot battler who's trying to get away from it all, retracing the steps they did as a child on their Island Challenge.

@redwoodrevival - Redwood Revival and Rescue is a research facility and sanctuary for various pokemon, especially those from the past. The blog is run by the owner of the facility, Professor Redwood herself, as well as her two assistants, Fern and Ginkgo. Mostly just a place for me to ramble about my pokemon hcs lol. Please ask her shit Semi-Inactive due to lack of asks.

@capricious-syrpents - A blog run by a Blueberry Academy student by the name of Malus! Formerly a member of the League Club but kicked out during Kieran's Reign as champion for bullshit reason, Malus is now in the music club and also not happy about no longer being allowed within League Club. Used primarily in a Discord RP

@snug-as-a-bugtype-in-a-rug - An eeby deeby from Alola by the name of Deb. She's been turned into a cutiefly, and is not having a good time. Free her from the hell that is minimum wage. Inactive due to lack of motivation.

@acetrainerchrys - Chrys is a skilled trainer from Johto who moved to Paldea about a year ago. Following strange events that led her to hatching an egg that contained the legendary pokemon giratina, she has not known peace since. She's the cousin of Reaper Sys from @yveltalreal. What do you expect? Used primarily in a Discord RP

@a0ranger - Venus is the father of Reaper Sys from @yveltalreal and a ranger stationed in Area 0 in Paldea. As him about his work sometime! Mostly a place for me to talk about my headcanons regarding pokemon, especially those surrounding Area 0 and give some silly stories. Semi-Inactive due to lack of asks

@lucias-narauva-hell - Lucia is actually normal. Her biggest problem is Ms. Tyme's math class. Why are there people at her school with absurdly strong pokemon and basically superpowers? What the fuck. Used primarily in a Discord RP

@festivalofmasks - A blog of Carmine from the games, post DLC and epilogue. Inactive due to lack of motivation and uncomfortable asks I got early on into running the blog. May come back to it one day.

There's a few others but they're completely dead and I have no intent to use them again for a while, and are still attached to my main rather than this blog.

[koinotame]

\o/

hi! it's me, nana / koinotame!

if you're wondering why i went inactive and then deleted, my mental health kind of (really) tanked... and i ended up deleting my blog in a fit.

it's getting better bit by bit though! and i've been wanting to get back into writing (and talking abt my unhinged/yan ideas i can't really talk to anyone else abt), so. here i am! for now, at least

as for my previously posted writing, there's some good news and some bad news: the bad news is that everything i wrote directly into tumblr (99% of snippets, a lot of ask answers, most exact content warnings, etc) is gone. the slightly less bad news is that iirc there were very very few posts of mine that weren't reblogged by anyone at all, so they're probably still out there? feel free to send them my way if you find any and i'll rb them. @/midnight-remembrance also has reblogged a couple of them! there's a couple snippets i have saved in some places, so i might repost those on my own as i find them, but there's very few of those. the good news is that anything longer (proper writing — oneshots, hcs, yan alphabet responses and so on, prompt responses, etc) is safely backed up where i originally wrote it! some of it is also on my ao3, which is the same username. feel free to send me asks about any you'd like to see again and i'll repost them! i might not post them if i feel too embarrassed about/wish i hadn't posted them, and i might rewrite/heavily edit some of them, but i think there's only a handful that fall into the former category and none of them were particularly popular. either way, no harm in asking!

as for some other updates: i'm a little divided on whether i want to keep posting explicit nsfw or not so we'll see. i might just keep it out of main tags. idk yet. regardless of what decision i make, this blog is still strictly 18+ and that will not be changing. since we can reply from sideblogs now, this is a sideblog and not my main now. why? sometimes i prefer to check up on a blog frequently instead of following them for a couple of reasons, but this felt very awkward when they were following me. so this being a sideblog relieves a bit of that stress. if this makes it sound like i have severe brain worms, it's because i do. to that effect though, if we interact every so often feel free to consider us mutuals regardless of whether or not i'm actually following you =w=b tbh i.............. am not really into genshin anymore. i might post about it here and there but i just Do Not (really) Care about it anymore. scara aside to some degree i also have no clue what's going on post inazuma lol whatever projects or commitments to writing or etc i had made beforehand. i forgot all of them so just pretend that never happened ok? ok i'll also probably be posting more sparsely, but we'll see! and (this is obviously the most important bit) i have no clue where i put the mika edit so we're back to my og classic pfp. the header scales terribly and is temporary, please ignore that too

all that aside, as a treat for anyone who sees this in time,

*roughly 6/22 done, but fairly quick to write. roughly one paragraph per character (sneak peek line: "it's not too hard to be discreet with his unique magic when someone really deserves to fall face down a flight of stairs. or three. oopsie. odd they don't remember it, huh? well, he had nothing to do with that.") **more realistic isn't quite the right word(s)... probably won't post this one to the main tags regardless. won't be doing all of the characters (only important/relevant ones) and won't be writing more about/expanding on, so this one is just like. a one off experiment sort of thing. overall less violent than most takes on the au + leans a bit (or lot, depending on how you look at it) more on the religious aspect of self aware aus. i wrote a couple paragraphs a while ago, then rewrote them, but i'll only finish/post them if there's interest for it (sneak peek line: "aether has deluded himself and cast You aside entirely on his own—and when You finally grace them with Your real presence, zhongli is certain aether will be the first to fall from Your grace.")

i have one other new thing immediately ready for posting that'll get posted in a couple of days but that one's pretty silly

[saetoru]

TEE!!!! i am coming directly into your askbox to scream about the latest rb! gojo fic! aND LIKE!!! the knowledge that you had posted it literally got me outta bed this morning and i read it on my phone with one hand as i was getting ready and the fic!! it beat me up!!! cut me bit by bit until i was only a pile on the ground!! dadjo is terrible for forcing them (or at least trying) to break up!! preying on the class difference and reader's insecurity over it!! honestly, if anything he should be impressed because reader is a very smart cookie and a hard worker. iirc they were working two jobs at one point??? VERY IMPRESSIVE. dadjo can't even do one job right smh.

he was soaked to the bone. yes. good. nothing like a sopping wet man on your doorstep. LMAOOO but. augh. when reader mentioned how his dad was involved gojo got so mad that i thought he was actually going to storm off (and then come back again) but luckily he didn't.

when he was yelling and demanding to know why reader broke up with him, i kind of thought of that piece where he convinces them to stay until morning and they finally make it official— when he's demanding to know why reader won't consider a relationship and he's almost yelling and reader tells him not to yell at them… and then here, the narration mentions how he never yells and like, i don't know if that was intentional or not, but if it was… well, he's commited so much about the reader to memory that it would make sense he'd remember something like that.

and then there's this line: they’re bright and kind and deeper than the ocean. but unlike the ocean, they’re not scary to fall into, to lose yourself in no matter how far you are from shore. that one made me think of the sunglasses piece because the same comparison is made in the narration— how gojo's eyes are like the depths of the ocean, but in that fic/drabble, they're something scary. and like. it's a very cool writing thing and it makes me wanna scream LMAOOO.

ANYWAY I'M SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T STAY BROKEN UP FOR LONG AND THAT DADJO GETS HIS. reader definitely should have talked to gojo, but they can make it up to him by remaining by his side for the rest of their life hehe. dadjo should just accept reader because like, at this rate, some disowning is going to happen and the gojo family will have no heir (either satoru disowns the family or they disown him) but he'll be okay because he has his brains and reader (or the grandparents will get involved and give dadjo what he deserves!!!)

this is probably way longer than the 30 tags that stupid tumblr ate, but honestly speaking, i absolutely love the rich boy! gojo au so much. so so so so much and i'm so glad that you've been kind enough to share it with us all! (low key i want to know more about the pre-relationship times… but i want to know it ALLLLLL)

NIKU CRIES SOOOO HARD 🥹 i have to be so honest with you—i don’t even rmr the “don’t yell” part in the old fic ndkajdjd BUT the metaphors ab his eyes was revisited yes !! i think ur making me look like a more purposeful and skilled writer than i actually am fjsjfjf i wish i was that good at tying old things in. that would be the dream.

BUT HIS DAD WAS SO RUDE. it’s the way i wrote him and he still hurt my feelings 😭 he should respect reader bc they FOR REAL are hustling out here in this rough economy LMAO. but honestly reader is like. my new crush LMAO idk if i wanna be them or be w them

but gojo being a wet little soggy mess made me envision him as like. a soaked catjo hehe i love catjo he’s my fav ever i wanna buy a plushie of him but they’re like 40 dollars 😭😭😭 and i’m too cheap to spend 40 on a plushie LMAO

omg but also. i feel like writing an angry gojo was new for once u know ?? bc he’s always been soooo patient w reader and always let them doubt him and their relationship and was so precious and sweet ab reassuring them that sometimes i rly sit there and think like. damn this boy rly been thru it 😭 he was head over heels from the start and he rly had to fight his way into their life SOBS so i was like for once we’re gonna get a not perfectly sweet and patient gojo. tonight he’s gonna be an angry and emotional wreck SOBS. it was fun tho writing him that was. it was cathartic in a way.

but reader should have sooo talked to him sobsob. i think honestly that gojo wouldn’t have really been kicked from the company / inheritance bc then who would get it you know ?? i think dadjo was more trying to prey on readers innocence / insecurities and make them feel like they were powerless and had no choice but to do what he says and hope he’d get away w it EXCEPT SATORU IS ONE DETERMINED BOY LMAOOOO so he definitely underestimated his own sons stubbornness fjsmfjsj

i’m glad they got back together tho. i say that like i didn’t plan for them to from the start 💀 but to be so honest with u at one point i was kinda stuck on how i’d make them meet and talk and how the whole resolution would even happen. i think it was a bit rushed but i was tired and i was like eh. ppl will get the idea. BUT IM GLAD THEYRE TOGETHER BC I WOULD DIE IF THEY WERENT

and poor suguru 😔 my man ain’t do nothing justice for him he got that insta remove 😔 i forgot to make reader follow him back LOLLLL

BUT I ADORE U SM NIKU UR COMMENTS AND TAGS ON RB! GOJO ARE HALF OF WHY WRITING IT IS SO FUN IN THE FIRST PLACE i am so beyond grateful for u reading it and supporting it especially bc that one gojo fic u write is genuinely one of my fav gojo works ever. i admire ur writing sm it means sooooo much that someone so talented reads and interacts w my works like this 🥹 hugs u sooo tightly 🥹

[pepsiiwho]

Thank u for rb-ing the ask game. Here are 5000 asks: ♥️, 🎁 , 👓, 💕, 🍬, and 💌. These are just for you to keep: 💖💓💓♥️💞💕💘💞💘💗❤️💘💘♥️💖💓💖❤️💖💞💓💞💖💗

So many things here should I even answer this in one big thing....

This one is getting it's own post I have too much to say for it but the short answer is "[sound here] sounded like rocks hitting a wall" if you actually read my work you should know this one it's my calling card at this point.

It gets long after this sorry guys

2. This one isn't anything you'd like, a shame I just sent it to you but here's a little piece of the most recent WIP I have as of (checks watch) 3 hours ago. BG3 WIP Title pending.

The woman walks out with her tail between her legs, literally, and Alabaster watches the door close soundlessly behind her as if commanded. The silence between them sits for a moment a second or two before Alabaster speaks. “She's pretty. You might have a type though.”  “What are you doing here?” She didn’t think a sleep-ruffled Astarion would be the one she’d be interacting with when she decided to pay a visit today, but the sight is pleasing all the same. His hair is as white as it’s ever been, only a touch longer. She isn’t sure if actual vampires are capable of being surprised (something something the alertness of darkness or something) but the expression on Asraion’s face was what she would coin as ‘your lover coming home to see you with your mistress' . “You missed me?” He asks. It doesn’t come out like a question, as breathy as it sounds.  “I missed you” She responds. She rolls her shoulders, getting ready for the dance that is talking to Astarion. “I also need your help.”  “You came back because you need me?” There's a sharp smile slowly making it’s way onto his face, laughlines bending to build the expression. He’s sitting up, moving to reach her height. She nods, pulling at the tightly wound strings in his chest, plucking absently.  “I need you.” She responds. Talking to him feels like playing an instrument you haven't touched in a long time, slowly allowing muscle memory to take over so the music can once again be moved by your masterful hands. He smiles full now, as if realizing something she doesn’t know, and she’s reminded that you never really forget how to tune an instrument.

3. What helps me focus when I write... booty shaking music for throwing ass OR hating whatever is happening around me. no in-between.

4. This is a really hard question because if we mean like, emotionally? I could cop out and give a three way tie between Complimentary Soap (it isn't good I'm just nostalgic), Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021) (it is good and I'm nostalgic) and Like A Brick In The Wall (good and new but god it's chaptered.) But, right now I'm gonna say my most recent fic I posted Going Home; All Over Again. I really love it even tho no one will ever read it (save you). The curse of rare pairs.

5. Okay another long one let's go. I'm only counting things with multiple pics posted...

HADES -

I Missed You Terribly And Like A Dream— You Appeared, Smiling At Me, Just So

Most of my stuff from here isn't good anymore, and while there's another that's more self indulgent and scratches the itch inside my body that aches dully for more Hypnos content at all times, this one reads the best rn. So it win.

HAIKYUU-

Tequilas, Margaritas and Seawater

everything in this fandom is old and arguably bad so nostalgia points carry weight here. This. one was a gift and idk why but it reads amazingly. holds up still

FE3H -

Like A Brick In The Wall

All fe fics are the DEVIL because of any in this list I CARE about these the most no competition. Anyway. This fic didn't win the previous bracket of my fav fic ever but it is my fav in the tag. Don't ask me to explain. I'm sorry.

CSM -

I Squint Out My Peripheral, Peaking Through My Fingers To See You

I don't work here man... I hate this goddamn pic its so good.

DRV3-

Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021)

She's gonna do it every time... V3 hospital au I lOVE you.

(Listing out my written fandoms like this is the saddest thing ever my GOD I'm cringey)

6. I feel like the tropes I love most I never write myself... it's honestly kinda fandom specific but across the board...? Royalty au. not regency but kinda. A little to the left.

[daja-the-hypnokitten]

Jukebox reviews part 51! For context, see my post “A Project” under  this same tag. If you want to see a full list of his EMCSA stories,  they can be found here, sorted alphabetically.And if you want to see some of his drabbles, check out his blog at @jukeboxemcsa​

Boy Problems

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

5/23/2020                                     mc mf md rb

Nope. NOPE. The *moment* a Boy pushes on a gal who's ace I'm out. I can't. (Compare this to the story "A Kind of Girl I Could Love," and ... oof.)

 The Ultimate Vacation

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

5/30/2020                                     mc mf ff md fd

This is an interesting way to tell the story, and their screening process is thorough and clever, but also. The sheer sameness isn't a thing I enjoy and it's something that I honestly find to be a turnoff.  But the narrative, the approach, is super cool and fun even if the outcome is more than a little meh to me. Give it a read just for the style, if nothing else! 7/10 spirals

 Chant of the Ever-Circling Skeletal Family

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

6/6/2020                                       mc

... Jukebox likes horror. I don't. That flavors my opinion on stories such as this one that are as much horror as erotica, if not moreso. This isn't for me, it just isn't. But if you like the vibe of folk being hunted by a cult or ... something like a cult? I guess? I dunno, whatever they are... you'd probably enjoy this one much more than I did. 4/10 spirals

 Keep Your Eyes Open

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

6/13/2020                                     mc mf md

I appreciate this post highlighting some of the myths about hypnosis that people like to believe, for all of course the hypnotist doing so has his own nefarious motivations for doing so. I do think he pushes it a way I don't like so much, but I can go past that because I enjoy the basic set up so much. But the poor cop who just wants to help this one arrested gal so much, falling into this trap.... it's a good story with seriously good hypnotic language and double bind set-ups. 8/10 spirals 

 Dream Girl (Jukebox)

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

6/27/2020                                     mc ff rb

CHARITY! Oh, yay! I like her! (So not only is this another Girls(tm) story, but a direct sequel to "You're not an Ordinary Girl") I love how she's so invested in this entire everything, and it's just so FUN to see the reality of A Hypnokinkster in this world where the Girls(tm) are all hypnotists. I don't get the Nagaina thing, that's never been my kink, but it doesn't matter. Charity's enthusiasm is all the connection I need to this story. 10/10 spirals 

 Mindless Self Indulgence

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

6/27/2020                                     mc mf md ma

This is another story that starts withh someone trying to break up with a hypnotist/mind controller/etc, the exact role doesn't matter for the trope and it's a trope I'm just not fond of. The control being used to overwhelm someone's attempt to advocate for themselves just turns my stomach and I can't give it a fair rating, But hey, if you like that trope, it's a story for you. 

 You’re My Temptation

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/4/2020                                       mc

.... Narrator, friend, there are literal hypnokink conventions you could go to and find brilliant, clever ladies to melt into a puddle with their consent. I know *multiple* people who would love most if not all of that fantasy. Though I understand the temptation, and as I remind my girlfriend on a regular basis, you can learn to resist anything but temptation. (I mean, I used to be a good Catholic, I know you can resist temptation, but the longer you think of it as a temptation the harder it is to resist, so ... anyway). I don't know that I like the ending - though my brain has decided that she was asking about the pendant as a way of flirting with someone she thought was a hypnotist, because then I enjoy the story more, so y'know, reader's choice there. It's a lovely sort of story that's a lovely series of fantasies and the importance of language, and I really enjoyed it. 9/10 spirals 

 The Abduction of Margaret

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/11/2020                                     mc ff ma

This one is dark in ways that are absolute turnoffs for me. The cold, dispassionate approach, the threats of killing her if she isn't useful... all of it just puts me off. But if you like cold and dispassionate, you might like this one? 

 Plain Gold Ring

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/18/2020                                     mc mf md

Ahhhhh these two are so cute and shy and I like them so much!!! Rosita and Mateo just feel real in that way some of Jukebox's best (to me) stories do, including the adorable bits of awkwardness that never tip into secondhand embarassment somehow. And seeing Mateo be so very respectful and ethical, even when Rosita blurts out something while entranced that she never meant to share ... well. They're cute and I hope there's more stories involving them in the future, that's all. 10/10 spirals 

 It’s All About Feeling Good

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/25/2020                                     mc

I don't think I've mentioned how much I appreciate how JB prefaces these inductions - a clear statement of what's to be included, and a clear statement that the reader/listener can choose to ignore any suggestions they don't feel safe and comfortable accepting. It's a really nice preface. And this induction also includes a permissive definition of pleasure - sexual, sure, but not necessarily; quite explicitly it could just be "happiness or joy" or any other sort of way the listener wants to interpret pleasure. This isn't a set of suggestions I get much out of - I'm quite good at the skill it's trying to teach, personally, after years of practice - but for folk who are less skilled at feeling that pleasure on command? It's a lovely file and as always, technically solid. 10/10 spirals

[i-put-the-bi-in-suibian]

I posted 1,649 times in 2022

46 posts created (3%)

1,603 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@accio-victuuri

@zhansww

@mdzsartreblogs

@i-put-the-bi-in-suibian

@aheartfullofjolllly

I tagged 1,591 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#untamed cast - 793 posts

#the untamed - 664 posts

#wangxian - 569 posts

#mdzs - 459 posts

#xiao zhan - 455 posts

#fanart - 455 posts

#wang yibo - 353 posts

#lan wangji - 72 posts

#wei wuxian - 49 posts

#self rb - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 115 characters

#i thought i would have to drop out but then my weekend plans got cancelled so i§m churning out some last minute art

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Happy Birthday Hanguang-Jun!

Just a little something for Lan Wangji’s birthday.

Unbetaed, explicit, post-canon, 1.2K

It doesn’t happen often that Lan Wangji’s obligations take him away from his husband and when it does happen it’s rarely for more than a few days. This time he’s been away for a little over a week. Wei Wuxian only let him go after he promised that he would return in time to celebrate his birthday.

The sun is going down by the time he arrives in Gusu, but it’s still the 23rd of January. Lan Wangji stops by the Cold Pond first to wash away the grime of long travel and to treat the minor wounds and scratches he gained because he doesn’t want his husband to worry about them.

He takes the walk to Jingshi slowly, enjoying the way coming home to his beloved warms him from the inside. 

He enters without knocking and finds his husband placing food on the table. He can also see wrapped presents but he doesn’t pay them much attention because his husband straightens and grins happily at him.

“Hanguang-Jun!”

He’s dressed in nothing but his red underrobe, and his hair is down. Even after years of marriage, he takes Lan Wangji’s breath away.

With a few long strides, Lan Wangji crosses the space between them, basking in the brightness of his husband’s smile.

“You made it,” Wei Wuxian breathes out.

“Hm.”

He doesn’t say that he would never break that promise. He doesn’t say that he would fight armies and fly over mountains to get back to his Wei Ying in time. He doesn’t have to say anything. He knows that his husband understands.

He pushes Wei Wuxian’s hair off his shoulder and cups his cheek with his palm. Wei Wuxian leans into the touch. Lan Wangji loves how his touch seems to calm Wei Wuxian. He’s usually brimming with energy - like water skipping over stones in a rapid river. When Lan Wangji touches him it’s like scooping the water into his hands - it forms a cold pool in his palms, calm and ready for him to drink.

He drinks Wei Wuxian in now - with a slow gentle kiss.

“I missed you,” Wei Wuxian whispers against his lips.

“I missed Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji admits and kisses him again - deep and demanding.

The water slips between his fingers and returns to the untamed current.

Wei Wuxian wraps his arms around Lan Wangji’s neck, tugging at his hair and pulling him closer as if he can’t get enough of him.

After a moment of fumbling Lan Wangji manages to untie Wei Wuxian’s robe and slid his hands around his trim waist. Wei Wuxian’s skin is incredibly smooth and hot under his palms. It’s a pleasant surprise when Lan Wangji finds out that he’s not wearing any underpants.

“Shameless,” he mutters and squeezes his firm backside.

Wei Wuxian lets out an indignant huff and tugs at Lan Wangji’s clothes. Lan Wangji steps back and hurriedly unties his sash, knowing well that his husband won’t tolerate the separation for much longer. He manages to push his outer robes off his shoulders before Wei Wuxian presses himself close to him, rubbing his tender bits against the soft material of Lan Wangji’s inner robe. He gets the robe open while Lan Wangji kisses him. Pressing wet kisses to his collar bones, Wei Wuxian’s clever fingers find the waistband of Lan Wangji’s underpants and he pulls them down. Before the cloth hits the floor Wei Wuxian is on his knees.

“Wei Ying” he aims for a reproving tone but fails when he feels Wei Wuxian’s hot lips and tongue working him to hardness. He buries his fingers in Wei Wuxian’s silky hair. He feels no need to guide him - his husband knows perfectly well what he likes - but to anchor himself.

He closes his eyes and enjoys the pleasure his lover is giving so readily. 

As much as he loves the wet warmth of Wei Wuxian’s mouth, this is not the way he wants to reach his fulfillment.

With great regret, he pulls Wei Wuxian’s head away and ignores his grunts as he hauls him to his feet. He offers consolation in a filthy kiss. Wei Wuxian is still wearing his red robe - opened and obscenely revealing his aroused state. The soft material brushes against Lan Wangji’s hands when he grabs Wei Wuxian’s buttocks and heaves him up. Wei Wuxian instinctively wraps his legs around Lan Wangji’s waist and with no more protest than a surprised squeal lets himself be carried to the bed. 

He pulls Lan Wangji down on top of him the moment his back hits the mattress. They spent some time just kissing, their hands roaming around to become reacquainted with every detail of each other’s bodies.

A single touch tells Lan Wangji that his shameless husband has been touching himself while waiting for him. His hole is wet and puffy and Lan Wangji’s finger slides in easily. He adds oil generously, though, before he starts teasing Wei Wuxian with two fingers, enjoying the way his beloved first demands, then begs for him to exchange them for his cock. When he’s finally satisfied with Wei Ying’s desperate state, he enters him in one fluid motion. 

They both become still then and enjoy the moment of connection in silence. In that endless moment, they are one creature, they share every breath, their hearts beat in sync. Then Wei Wuxian moans and squeezes Lan Wangji tightly to prompt him to move. Lan Wangji complies. He moves slowly and carefully, eliciting sweet sounds out of his husband that he muffles with sweet kisses. He keeps the languid rhythm until he feels like the fire growing inside him is going to burn him alive. He straightens then, getting a firm grip on Wei Wuxian’s hips, and starts pounding him vigorously, each thrust pushing a grunt out of Wei Ying’s kiss-swollen lips.

“Lan Zhan, you brute!” he cries out. “You are merciless to this weak little body! Do you think you can do whatever you please to your poor husband just because it’s your birthday?”

See the full post

36 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#4

I decided to continue the revisions of my Old Guard Xicheng AU. This fic has been sitting finished in my WIP folder for months. I don’t even understand why. As I’m working on it again, I’m realizing how much I LOVE this story. I hope this time I will finally be able to finish the revisions and have it betaed and posted.

37 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

#3

Here’s my final piece for @mdzsrbb

Film Noir Wangxian

43 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#2

The Only Constant by Winglesss

Xicheng enemies to lovers AU inspired by the Old Guard movie

Summary:  Jiang Cheng sees a young man get hit by a car. He watches as the kid lets out his last breath, then takes another. Jiang Cheng decides to take care of Jin Ling - the newbie immortal. He knows how hard it is to adjust even though the first time he died has been over a thousand years ago. He didn’t have anyone to help him back then. It doesn’t mean he’s been alone all those years. He has his archenemy, the only constant in his long life, Lan Xichen.

Excerpt:  

 “You are over a thousand years old? And you knew the guy all that time?” Jiang Cheng nods. "What do you do when you meet each other?" Jiang Cheng leans back in his chair and lights a cigarette. "We kill each other." Jin Ling's eyes widen. "Why?" Jiang Cheng shrugs. "That's what we do."

Read chapter 1 on AO3

45 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My first piece for MDZS Reverse Big Bang 2022 right on time for Mermay 😂

Please read the companion fic A Fish Out Of Water by roseclaw.

Thank you so much @roseclaw for coming to my rescue and delivering such an amazing story. It was a pleasure to work with you.❤️

119 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[loreofthegayuma]

Lore/Mira/Fritz here and this is a personal side-blog!

Last Update: Mar. 11, 2024

System, SEAsian, and bodily 26. Follows from @loreofthefritz (main/dbz blog).

About:

This is a blog of us making text posts about issues, our life, or a little bit of both. There are also a lot of media we're obsessed with and a lot of things we find interesting.

A lot of us are semiverbal/nonverbal/selectively mute and we struggle with hearing so we ask that you kindly share a caption or transcriptions of your videos especially if you're sharing it to us specifically. Thank you for understanding <3

What we mean by semiverbal/nonverbal/selectively mute is...

That most of us have a hard time verbalizing our thoughts because we don't use words on each other when we talk. Sometimes we experience a verbal shutdown; we won't be answering asks, DMs, and won't be talking in the tags. Please be patient when that happens, we will be back shortly. Even if you find us posting text-heavy content, it doesn't mean we're currently not experiencing a shutdown, sometimes we just post those that have been in the drafts a long time ago during this time.

Some of us write and we intend to post some of them here and the other things we create. However, please do enjoy our blog for the meantime!

❗️This blog may post suggestive things on extremely rare occassions but never fullblown NSFW❗️

If there's any issue or problem at all that you want any of us to address, feel free to slip an ask or DM!

We mostly no longer tag for rbs unless we want to see them again. Anything else you want to know you can find in our carrd.

@loreofthefritz - main + dragon ball blog (don't follow this one unless you really like dragon ball). 《Fritz》

Other blogs:

We usually share blogs but I'll put under here which alter is mostly using the account:

@lore-loves-animated-shows - pixar, dreamworks, and disney side-blog. 《Fritz created this but they dont use it as often as our littles》

@loreoffandoms - sideblog of random fandoms (check its pinned post to see which they are) 《no one in particular》

@thedemon-mirajane - fairy tail, naruto/boruto, undead unluck, hunter x hunter, to your eternity, zom 100: bucket list of the dead, and yu yu hakusho sideblog! 《Rein and Mira》

@soccerpunching - sports animanga + mob psycho 100, dr. stone, bakugan sideblog (mostly inazuma eleven) 《Lore》

Tags I use for my own posts:

#lores of fritz - personal experiences, thoughts, and opinions of fritz

#lore dumps - personal experiences, thoughts, and opinions of lore

#rein-y days - personal experiences, thoughts, and opinions of rein

#demon hauls - personal experiences, thoughts, and opinions of mira

#fritz in rants - just our rants

#autihd fritz - personal experience or own memes about undiagnosed autism and adhd

#fritz gets asks - me answering asks

#anon cannon - getting anon asks

Tags for reblogs:

#suggestive - we won't be reblogging much of this but we'll definitely tag it so you can mute them

#serious misc - for stuff we should take seriously

#silly misc - for funny ones

#wholesome misc - for really heart-wrenching content

#autihd misc - anything related to autism, adhd, and sometimes just generally neurodivergent things

#disabled misc - news, discussion, helpful tips, etc. about being disabled and about disabled people

#gay misc - anything related to being queer specifically

#history misc - concerning history

#science misc - science side of tumblr lol

#food - anything about food

#misc - when we don't know where to put it

#creative help - important rb of things that may help creatives

#academic help - important rb of things that will help in studies and papers

#writing help and #writing advice - rb of writing advice

#language learning - anything about languages

#writing inspiration - rb of posts abt tropes. scenarios. or dialogues that may inspire writing

#thriving consumer help - saved resources that are helpful to us common folks. also says fuck you to the capitalists

#read and recommend #read list #others writing - writing of other people I want to reread

#adulting help - adulting tips

[bakatenshii]

i love the fact that you say a lot of stuff in the tags like it’s vv cute <3

AHHHH mownin mownin (i guess its noon now for me tho hehe) IM GLAD U ENJOY THEM EEEp im blushing, I really just vomit all my thoughts and words into there because I have so much to say but I don’t wanna clog every ask/post with like mile long comments so hehe IM GLAD U LIKE ITTTT AHHH MAKES ME SHY (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑)

[dogboyvega-inactive]

for y'all on overrated hq

[transmasc-wizard]

Hi! This is about the Harry Potter thing.

So, I've been following your blog for a month or two now (I love your writing advice stuff, and the random posts you reblog, it's all really cool), and hadn't noticed the potterheads dni (I dunno if it was there or not, sorry). I read your most recent ask answer about (I think most recent..), I totally get it, I don't like it when people blatantly disregard bigotry like that for the sake of capitalistic pleasures.

But where exactly do you draw the line at support? Like what counts, to you? Does fan content count? I ask because I'm about one-year strong on the JKR Sucks Train and don't, like, buy merch or stream the movies or anything anymore, but I do make some fan content for the HP series sometimes? (I've also reblogged a lot of stuff about The Game (I don't know the name of it; the one about the goblins )>_<) ) and why it's so... just So Terrible.

I'm kinda rambling but my point is--are you uncomfortable with Harry Potter fans who are aware of its issues, speak out about/against said issues, make fan content, but don't buy things that financially support JKR interacting with your blog/you?

Oh, and this is all genuine. I don't know where to put the tone indicator on longer posts like this without tags. (x_x)

i'll make a set of Official Rules or w/e for interaction right now

be aware JKR sees all interaction as support. she's openly said that she thinks fans, including fans that hate her, are supporting and encouraging her by virtue of still being fans

don't rb my posts with harry potter related add-ons or tags

please please do not follow me if you have yr house in yr bio

i don't care if someone draws the Gryffindor crest or whatever and sticks it on their wall. i do care if they actively try to get more people interested in Harry Potter. consider which group u fall into and make that choice yourself

don't follow if your blog can be considered a "harry potter blog". like, there's enough stuff there that you'd be worth following for HP content. e.g. i have a friend (@.abysslll !) who's blog is not entirely mp100 content, but would def be worth following for mp100 content

I look thru the blogs of people who follow me whenever i can, bc a lot of NSFW blogs blatantly ignore the "18+ only blogs dni" in my bio and i like to block them. if i haven't blocked yr blog it's probably so little that i didnt notice and therefore fine but ultimately i've made the choice to completely cut JKR's work from my life. so, like, also know there won't be a follow back any time soon lol (i mean this as nicely as possible)

i hope this doesn't seem harsh, but it's just. as an autistic trans guy (the group that she wrote quite a few nasty things about in her little essay) i'm not fond of JKR or her work being something I can easily stumble upon if I, say, glance at someone's blog to see if I want to follow back.

[babyurthendofjune]

gotta get better

gif credit

This concept has been in my head for a while now and it took me like a month to write and edit and just get it all out! I had surgery two years ago today and it was one of the most emotional, stressful experiences of my life simply bc I’m just a big baby lol. This is just something to celebrate that day and the fact that I’m still so happy it’s all over! Fluffy af as usual cause that’s all I know how to write. :)

Thankful to @bfharry​ and @bopbopstyles​ for not only inspiring me with their amazing writing but pushing me towards finishing this and reaching (even going over) my personal 5k goal! I appreciate you both so much!!

I recently saw a post about tagging triggers properly so I’m gonna do it that way but if I do it wrong or it doesn’t work PLEASE let me know and I will fix it immediately (just want to be sure all my bases are covered)

// needles tw, pills tw (prescription), anxiety tw // (if I missed anything I should’ve tagged please please let me know!!) and I’m sure there are some medical inaccuracies bc that whole day is kind of a blur for me haha 

as always likes/rbs/comments are welcome but absolutely not necessary :) 

final word count: 7.1k

//

"Y'nervous, angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Bout to chew your finger off. I know there can't be much of a nail left."

Your hand drops back to your lap. You hadn't even realized you were doing it. A bad habit of the nervous child you thought you'd long forgotten. He offers his left hand and you accept it, thumb swiping over the cross painted across his skin. He knows it's one of your favorites and you're thankful for the comfort. You don't know how many times he'd teased you about how you would eventually rub it off one day and he'd have to get it redone.

"S'a routine surgery, I bet they do them all day. You're gonna be fine."

You'd been over all this a thousand times before. Harry had to ban you from looking up the procedure online at one point. You became obsessive with worry. What if you're still awake when they cut into you and you can't talk? What if you feel everything and can't tell anyone? What if you don't wake up? He had shot down every one of your horrifying theories.

"How much longer before they take me back?"

"Nurse said it would be about 10 minutes when we checked in. Shouldn't be too much longer. Want me to check the board again?"

Checking in had only consisted of a nurse taking your name and giving you your bracelet for the day with an ID number. The number would help Harry stay updated on where you were throughout the whole process. The "board" was simply a tv mounted to the wall that frequently cycled through each patient's last name and ID number.

"No, no," You cling to his sleeve like a desperate child, "Don't leave again. She said they wouldn't update anything until I went back anyway."

Harry had left you only briefly when you first arrived. Hands in his pockets, wandering around like a lost child around the big, open expanse of the waiting room. He stayed where you could see him and the whole time you had anxiously chewed your bottom lip until he returned. You hated it, but you knew he was just as nervous as you. So you let him have that moment. To check his surroundings and release some of the nerves so he could come back to you, calm and cool as always.

When the nurse does call your name, you almost jump out of your skin. You freeze, unable to move. Harry stands and flashes the nurse a quick smile before turning back to you and offering his hand.

You shake your head, "I can't do this, H. I feel like I'm gonna throw up if I move."

"You're not, promise. Remember those breathing exercises we practiced? Do those. C'mon..deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out. Do it while we walk."

Slow deep breath in. Pause. Slowly let it out.

You remember how silly you felt the first time you did it. How it made you giggle at first. This is never going to work. But eventually it did. Anytime you got upset or started to overthink about this day, Harry made you stop whatever you were doing and sit down. Breathe.

It was a little difficult to do while walking. Your body wanted to pause your steps when your breath paused, but Harry tugged you along, you almost hiding behind him until you made it through a set of heavy wooden doors to a small space with a hospital bed and a curtain drawn in front of it.

//

The IV had had been your biggest dread, the fear overriding any logic that it was something you needed, instead of something the nurses decided to do simply to torture you.

Your face twists into a wince of pain when the needle goes into your vein, Harry standing over you, his face a mirror of your own as you squeeze his hand. When the nurse pulls away with a triumphant "all done!" you flash a look of surprise between your arm and Harry.

"Not that bad, eh? Think ya overreacted a bit about how bad that was gonna be?" He raises his eyebrows, waiting for you to shoot him a nasty look for teasing you.

"Maybe a little." You pinch your index finger and thumb together, indicating a minimal amount.

"Tiny bit more, babe," Another nurse appears from around the curtain and he laughs before speaking to her, "it's all she's worried about all morning."

"Honestly that's everyone's least favorite part. The rest of the day should be aces if you can handle that!"

Harry settles himself into a chair while the nurse goes through a myriad of questions. Any other surgeries? Allergies to medications you know of? Do you smoke? Drink?

Harry snorts when you say no to drinking, but quickly clasps his hand over his mouth when the nurse's head snaps to look between you and him.

"The occasional drink is fine, no worries. Nothing this morning though, right?"

"No, ma'am."

Your eyes meet his, a mischievous grin still plastered across his face. He mumbles a quick "sorry" while you try to pull your concentration back towards the nurse and the remainder of her questions.

"Alright, time for the good stuff," she passes you a small clear cup with two white pills, "First one is just something to keep you calm and relaxed, second one is to prevent any pain after the procedure. They'll give you something to make you sleepy when you get to the OR, but this might make you a bit loopy for now."

"This should be fun." Harry claps his hand in front of him, rubbing them together quickly. He leans forward in his chair, as if ready for a show.

"Yeah? Is she a happy drunk?"

Harry had only ever experienced you high on any sort of prescription medication once, almost a year ago when you went on a girl's trip with your best friend and twisted your ankle in an attempt to make it back to her car after dinner out one night. You calling him from an unknown ER in the middle of the night had terrified him enough to start packing a bag to fly to you before your best friend could grab your phone and assure him you were fine and she would put you on a plane home to him in two days as planned. He had teased you endlessly when he picked you up from the airport and for the next few days afterwards as you limped around on a bruised, ACE bandage wrapped foot.

But after too many wine drunk nights to count, he had enough stories to humiliate you with and the thought of any one of them being told now had you sinking further into the hospital bed.

"You could say that. Last time she.." His voice trails off at the sight of your eyes, wide as saucers, begging him to stop.

The nurse grins, her face kind and sympathetic to your silent cry for help.

"We're a little behind schedule this morning so it may be about 20 minutes before they come transport you, okay?" You nod, the effects of the sedative already working its way through your system, "Keep an eye on her? Make sure she behaves?"

"Yeah, I got her. We'll be fine, thank you so much." He's closer now, standing next to you again, a hand sliding up your arm to settle on your shoulder. You manage a thumbs up and a sleepy "thank you" as an affirmation that you appreciate all she's done for you.

"You're more than welcome. You'll have a different set of nurses in recovery but if you need anything until they come get you, just let me know, alright?"

"We will, thanks." His thumb ghosts across the front of your collarbone, the lightest of touches to soothe you, his eyes still focused on the nurse.

"Good luck! You're gonna do just fine, I promise."

The second she's around the curtain, Harry nudges you lightly, "Scoot."

"Huh? What do you mean..Harry, there's not enough room for you in this bed." Your head feels too light to deal with his nonsense now.

"Yeah there is if you scoot. C'mon. Hurry before we get caught. M’supposed to be keeping an eye on you, remember? Gotta make sure you don't fall outta the bed."

He's already wedged himself next to you, trying to make his tall frame fit into the limited space.

You move over as much as you can, the rail of the bed poking into your hip.

He tucks one arm behind your head, the other one thrown behind his own as a cushion.

"You feel more relaxed now, lovie?"

You scrunch down in the bed, just enough that you can tuck your head under his other arm, "A little. I don't feel sleepy enough though," Your eyes dart up, seeking the comfort of his face, "I'm scared, H."

"I know you are, baby," the hand behind your head shifts to cup around your arm, pulling you closer, "Just pretend you're home with me and we're taking a nice little nap together, yeah?"

"But you won't be there with me, not really."

"I'll be there when you wake up though. First thing you'll see when you open your eyes, promise." He runs a finger along the curve of your nose, "Close your eyes. Try to sleep, hmm?"

You shake your head, turning towards him to hide your face in his side, inhaling his scent.

"Want me to turn the light off? Would that help?"

"No," You toss the arm that isn't trapped between you two over him, holding tightly to his shirt, "Stay."

"Alright, then. We'll just wait," He tilts his head to rest closer to yours, "Have you thought about what you want to eat after?"

"Not really. M'too nervous to think about food."

"We'll think of something good. Whatever you want."

"You're gonna get us in trouble, better scoot back to your corner like a good boy." Your words come out unintentionally slurred and you weakly push yourself up and away from him as he slides off. He doesn't sit though, just stands near you, an anxious look flashing across his features.

"Hey, c'mere. Gonna be fine, routine surgery, remember?" You stretch your arms out to him, a plea to be near his warmth again.

He sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. You tug lightly at the sleeve of his cardigan, a feeble attempt to pull him closer. He indulges you, his brow still creased with distress.

"Know ya gonna be fine, just hate you have to go through it at all. Wish I could take it from you without all this." He gestures to the IV he knows you despise so much.  

"You have helped take it from me. All the sleepless nights you spent up with me, holding my hair back when I got sick. All the days after when I was too drained to get out of bed. You were there for as much of it as you could be. And you pushed me to go see the surgeon in the first place. You've helped me more than you give yourself credit for."

His fingers intertwine in yours, the pad of his thumb soothing over the front of your hand.

"Make sure you keep my phone with you, my mom will probably call you every 30 minutes for updates." A yawn stretches across your face, "She has your number too, bullied me into giving it to her last week when I called to tell her about the surgery."

He nods, patting his pocket to make sure both phones are still nestled there together.

Another yawn threatens to escape and you muffle it this time, more content to fight sleep to stare at Harry; his hair a perfect mess of curls under the harsh brightness of the hospital lighting. His face is more relaxed now, his eyes still focused on your fingers tangled together. He catches you, your eyes glazed over, too heavy and threatening to close.

"Darling, please close your eyes. I can see how tired you are," His fingertips sweep delicately over your nose again, as if he was lulling a baby to sleep, "You don't have to stay awake for me."

"Closing my eyes for just a second, alright? Not because you told me to though. I want to. Wake me up in 2 hours, don't wanna sleep too long."

Your eyes are already drifting closed, the last thing you hear is a chuckle; effortless, light as air, "I will, promise."

Soft kisses pressed across your face, "Sweet dreams, love."

//

His voice is the first you hear as you wake up in the dimly lit recovery room. Well, really it was more like a big cubicle, another space with a curtain drawn in front of it. Even with the floaty, dreamy feeling flowing through your system, you can still detect the worry in his voice.

"Harry?" It takes your mind a minute to catch up and process where you are and what had happened.

Oh yeah. Surgery day. No more annoying gallbladder. No more sleepless nights. Freedom to eat what you want and not be haunted by nausea and sickness from what you ate.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" Suddenly a nurse in bright blue scrubs is there, way too animated and loud at the moment, "Pain scale 1-10?"

"I don't have any pain. Zero." You're aware of how high you sound and a giggle escapes through the haze. That earns you a smile from Harry, one that lights up his whole face and makes his dimples shine through.

"Awesome! Well then as soon as you're good and awake we're gonna get this IV out and go over some paperwork for both of you to sign. I want you to drink something for me too, so what would you like?"

You request a ginger ale and as soon as the nurse leaves to retrieve it for you, Harry scoots the chair he's sitting in as close to the bed as possible.

"How long was I out?"

"Couple of hours," He absentmindedly fixes your hair, looping various curls back around to their respective places, "Took a little longer than expected, you had a small infection so they had to make sure it hadn't spread."

"How much longer?"

"Long enough you had us all slightly worried." His hand trails down your cheek to cup your chin gently, urging you to look at him, "You sure you're not in pain? Now's not the time to do that stubbornly brave thing you do where you pretend nothing's wrong."

"I feel fine, really. Just a little tired, ready to go home."

He studies your face, trying to find any trace of dishonesty. When he's satisfied you're being truthful, he stands and extracts your phone from his pocket.

"Already talked to ya mum, but your co-workers were all texting you, asking how you were. Figured you'd want to handle that yourself, didn't know how much detail you would want to give them."

"Did you give my mother all the details? Infection and everything?"

"Um, no. I knew better than to do that. Promised her you would call when I got you settled at home."

"You promised or she demanded?"

"Okay..she politely asked that you call her when we get home."

"That sounds more like her." You roll your eyes, pushing yourself so you're sitting more upright in the bed.

"She just worries about you." He adjusts the pillow behind you, fluffing and tucking it where you direct it, against your lower back.

"I know. I'll FaceTime her when we get home to prove I'm alive."

"It's been a while since we've seen them, maybe we should plan a visit?" He plops himself back in the chair, leaning back as far as he can go; hands behind his head, eyes closed. You'd both gotten very little sleep the night before, you were too anxious and he was too gracious to let you suffer alone.

"Oh please, I'm lucky I even got time off to do this. My boss would never allow another break so soon."

"Maybe for the holidays?"

"Maybe..but only if you can go with me, you know they love you more than me by now anyway."

"They do not," He peeks one eye open at you, "They love us both equally."

You shoot a quick text to your co-workers, using the group chat between the few of you to make it easier.

I'm out! Feeling okay for now but that might change later lol

The nurse is back, apologizing for taking so long, "We've been so behind all day, it's crazy busy. I had to wait for your doctor to sign off on your release." She hands you a can of ginger ale, white bendy straw already poised and ready for you.

"Just need you to sign here," She holds a clipboard and a pen out to you and you balance the can dangerously in one hand while you scribble something that resembles your signature. Close enough. She gestures for you to pass the clipboard to Harry, "His signature goes under yours, just says he's responsible for you for the next few hours until everything wears off."

"This means I'm the boss, right?" He leans over to grab the board, a wink thrown in your direction. He's enjoying himself way too much at the thought of being in control of you for the next few hours. Smug son of a bitch.

She takes the clipboard back and pulls off a yellow sheet of paper, "This is just your copy of what you signed, and also has post op instructions for your bandages. Your prescription's been sent to the pharmacy, and there's a brief summary of pain management information on the bottom there just in case you need it."

"Thank you." You transfer it right to Harry's waiting hand, knowing he'll be the one surveying every word, making sure you follow everything to the letter.

"I know you mentioned earlier having a little bit of a drive home, so probably once you get her some food and pick up her prescriptions, it'll be time for another round of meds. Okay?" She turns to you again, "I know it sounds silly, but one of the most important things after this particular surgery is lots of walking. Otherwise you'll be miserable. Rest for a while when you get home, then get up every 10 minutes or so until bedtime. Don't let her skip that part, alright? Very important."

"I heard you weren't a big fan of this thing," She nods towards the IV in your right forearm, "So this'll probably be the best part of this whole process for you. We'll get this out and then you can get changed and we'll get someone to wheel you down and out of here, alright? Don't look and you won't even know when it's gone."

"Hey, think about what you want to eat, huh? Your first freedom meal. Yay!" He slips his hand into your left, raising your connected hands victoriously. You didn't think it was possible for you to love him anymore until this moment. The way he could so easily erase your fear was one of his many gifts you adored him for, "What are we having, babe?"

You don't even hesitate before answering, "Pizza, from Milano's. It's my favorite, other than that one place in Italy you took me to. Please? Oh and one of their salads, with the little bread knots on the side!"

He glances at the nurse, awaiting a reprimand for your meal choice.

"As your nurse, I feel I should remind you that while you can have anything you feel like eating, we usually recommend something small and light at first. Broth or soup with some toast, maybe. The salad may be fine, but the pizza might be a little heavy. Taking it slow would be best. But everyone is different."

"So..just cheese then? Maybe some mushrooms?"

You let your head fall back against the pillow, a foggy haze settling over you, "Plain cheese, no mushrooms."

"Alright, sounds good. Why don't I go call it in and pull the car around? Meet you out front?" He leans closer, a quick peck to your cheek before pulling his hand loose from yours and turning to leave.

"Hey, wait," You attempt to tug at his wrist, but fail, your brain still set to slow-motion. He takes pity on you and returns to your side, "Let's eat there. It's in the mall so we can window shop after we eat."

"You sure? You still seem a bit tipsy, honey."

You don't feel tipsy. Just tired, and hungry. Very hungry. As if on cue, your stomach makes a remarkably loud noise; an objection at not being fed for the past 12 hours.

"Alright, alright, calm down. " You let out an embarrassed groan when you realize he's talking to your stomach, "We'll eat there."

He kisses you again, closer to your mouth, "Missed."

"I did, huh?" He chuckles, close enough to your face now your noses are almost touching, "Let's try again."

This time his lips meet yours and you know he missed on purpose the first time by how amused he looks when he pulls away.

"One more for luck?" You can't resist letting the back of your hand wander over his face, before resting the palm of your hand against his cheek.

"I think I can handle that," He smiles before landing another quick peck to your lips, "Be good for the nurse while I'm gone. I'll have the getaway car ready in 10, yeah?"

//

You're certain Harry would have fed you if you would have let him, right here in the mall food court in front of everyone. But you refuse, insisting even, on carrying your own tray to the table. He chuckles when you pull your phone out of your sweater pocket to take a picture of your food, quickly uploading it to Facebook.

He watches you closely as you take the first bite, even pulling his own phone out to sneak a photo of you when you temporarily close your eyes to appreciate the indulgence of being able to eat one of your favorite foods again; free from that anxious feeling of whether or not it would settle right with your body later. You open your eyes the very moment after he captured the image.

"Harry!"

"You just looked so happy! I couldn't help it. You know I'll never post it anyway. Snagged a few of you earlier in your little blue cap they made you wear too." He flips back through to show you. You try to snatch the phone away, but he's too quick to pull his hand back and stash his phone in his pocket.

"When??"

"After you fell asleep, right before they came to take you back."

He takes a bite from his own generous slice of pizza in front of him before gesturing to your tray, "How is it?"

"Amazing. Even better than before, if possible."

His smile is bright, loving the satisfaction of seeing you actually enjoy food again.

Your plan to walk around the mall was cut short, you could barely make it through one store without yawning. You cling to Harry most of the way back to the car, his arm securely wrapped around you to keep you steady.

You doze off on the drive home, and when your eyes flutter open you find him opening the passenger door, offering a hand to help lift you out of the car and up the stairs into the house. Your foot stumbles on the first step, failing to make contact and you almost fall back.

"Easy," He giggles, an arm thrown behind your back to catch you before encouraging softly, "Try again."

When he's confident you're stable enough on your feet, he lets go to unlock the door.

You're greeted by a bouquet of flowers, a colorful arrangement of roses and lilies from Harry's band mates. You immediately recognize Sarah's handwriting on the card and make a mental note to shoot everyone a thank you text later. You don't know if it's the medication still in your system, the exhaustion of the day, or the overwhelming amount of love that makes you teary eyed.

Harry stands behind you as you admire the flowers and the card, arms curving around to hug you, careful of the large bandage on your upper abdomen and the two smaller steri-strips on your right side.

"How did they know pink roses were my favorite?"

"They love you, peach." He rests his chin on your shoulder, "Besides, you've only mentioned growing up with a pink rose bush in your Nanna's garden about a hundred times."

"I always loved it. Still do."

Your mind travels back to your earliest memories spent there; summers when you practically lived at the small house on the hill. Helping pick tomatoes and peppers from the garden, too warm afternoons spent with a book in your lap under the shade of a peach tree, your grandfather's corny jokes and loving smile. Your Nanna's too generous portions of food contributing to the few extra curves you still carried with you to this day.

You don't even notice the tears at first. They slip down your cheeks and land on his arm. Once you realize, you try to quickly wipe them away, but Harry sees.

"Hey..c'mon, I think your high's wearing off a bit, bub. Pajamas, meds, nap. Sound good?" He turns you to face him, using the sleeve of his shirt to brush away any tears that still linger at the corner of your eyes.

"What time is it?"

"Almost 3..why?"

"No nap. I'll never sleep tonight, and you know how grumpy I get when my sleep schedule is thrown off." Even with your declaration of not wanting a nap, you can't help but rub your eyes, a weak attempt to keep yourself awake. Any resolve Harry had to try to convince you to nap melts away. A smirk on his face, he knows you'll eventually crash later, most likely on his chest or in his arms. He's content to let you be stubborn for now.

"Okay, then. New plan. Pajamas, meds, movie. Better?"

"Better. You get everything ready and pick the movie while I change?"

"You don't wanna pick the movie?"

You wave him off, already shuffling towards the bedroom, "You're the boss today, remember?"

You take your time gathering what you need to get cozy for the rest of the day, selecting an oversized, well-worn tie dye t-shirt and leggings from your dresser. You even take a moment to dip into Harry's extensive sweatshirt collection, grabbing your favorite one. It's amazingly soft and still smells of him, a faint scent of his cologne and well..just Harry. You couldn't imagine anything more comforting.

In your pursuit to feel more lucid, you venture into the bathroom, taking a moment to wash your face. The cool water instantly refreshes you and pushes you closer to feeling like yourself again. Wanting your hair out of your face, you pluck a scrunchy from your shared collection of hair accessories. You quickly recognize that your arms still have that too heavy feeling of unconsciousness and after a few attempts to gather your curls into some sort of up-do, you give up and loop the accessory around your wrist to try again later.

Harry senses your frustration when you find him in the kitchen, two small green pill bottles sitting on the counter in front of him. He's already filled your favorite cup with ice water, and you gratefully take it and drink from it.

"What's wrong?" His brow creases with concern and you feel guilty for making him worry over something so silly.

"Nothing..just wanted my hair up out of my face but my arms wouldn't cooperate." You try to laugh it off to put him more at ease, "It's not a big deal."

You know it's only the weariness of the day still making you feel so emotional, clear-headed you would not be upset over something so small.

"Here. Let me try." He slides the scrunchy from your wrist and pulls you closer to him, moving behind you to gently work long fingers through your hair, gathering it all in a loose ponytail on top of your head before securing it around a few times with the scrunchy.

You let your shoulders drop with a deep sigh when he's done, it was such a simple thing, but it made you feel so much lighter. He spins you around to face him, a charming gleam of pride at his handiwork adorning his face, "Too tight?"

"No. Much better. Thank you, Harry. You take such good care of me always, but today..I don't know what I would've done without you. I made such a big fuss and probably made you miserable with all of my worrying." You're suddenly very aware that you are rambling, but when you catch a glimpse of his face, his smile is wide. So bright that the skin around his eyes is crinkling.

He leans towards you, lips stopping whatever words may have come next, arms wrapping around you to pull you closer in a soft, warm embrace. When he pulls away, his eyes bore right into yours, and your heart swells with more love than you could ever imagine having for one person. But he wasn't just any person. He was your person, your whole word staring back at you.

"I'm SO proud of you. You've been so strong today, always knew you had that strength in you, but seeing you take that leap of faith..doing something you knew you should despite your fear, that's all you, love. I can't take any credit for that. You've made me anything but miserable, trust me."

His face is still close enough to yours that you nudge forward, pressing your forehead to his, a silent appreciation of his affection.

"Any pain yet?" He pulls back, a thumb across your cheek, eyes still locked on yours.

"My head kind of hurts? And I still just feel kind of..drunk."

"You have always been a bit of a lightweight, babe. And a thief too, I see. S'that my sweatshirt?"

"Have not!" You swat playfully at his arm, "Maybe. Is that my hair clip in your hair?"

"Possibly." His eyes dart up to the swoop of curls on top of his head, a black plastic clip twisting it back and away from his face.

"Guess we're even then."

"S'pose we are." He tries to keep his eyes narrowed in a mock attempt of annoyance, but it quickly fades into laughter.

You decide against FaceTiming your family, hoping that hearing your voice will be enough. It seems to satisfy them at least for the rest of the day. You assure them that Harry is taking very good care of you and that everything went as smooth as could be expected.

He raises one eyebrow at you as you hang up, "As smooth as expected, huh? You aren't going to tell them the truth?"

"What's to tell? I had an infection and now it's gone. I'm fine, there's no sense in worrying them. We can give them the full story later."

He shrugs, fingers working to open one of the green pill bottles before passing one of the white pills to you, "For your headache, lovie. There's something here for nausea too if you need it. M'worried the pizza might've been too much. Maybe you should take one of these..just in case?"

"Harry, I promise I will tell you if I feel anything other than fine." Your hand runs from his shoulder down his bicep, squeezing gently, "Besides, I cannot take a whole one of those. If you think I'm a lightweight now..I'll sleep for the whole week if I take that."

He slips the bottle in his pocket, pulling you in to press a kiss to the top of your head, "We'll keep it close just in case, okay?"

"Sounds good," Your hand trails back up to his neck to work fingers through his hair, "Hey, thought we were watching a movie? What'd you pick?"

"Thought we could decide together. C'mon, let's get you comfy in bed."

"Ever the gentleman, always trying to get me in your bed."

"Hey! I am a perfect gentleman, thank you very much," He chuckles, a hand coming to rest on the small of your back, "Just thought you'd be more comfortable, you can prop up and stretch your feet out."

You let him tug you along for the second time today, thankful it's the luxury of your shared bed you get to settle into this time. He tucks you in softly, propping pillows behind your back and head.

"Comfy? Need anything else?"

"No, just need you to quit babying me so much and relax with me for a bit."

"Since when am I not allowed to baby you?"

You roll your eyes, "Never said you weren't allowed. Just want you to stop worrying so much, that's all."

"Good. Cause y'are my baby," No matter how many times you'd heard him say it before, it never failed to make you blush, "Do anything for you, y'know that, right?"

"I know," You look down at your hands, trying to slow your racing heart, "You never let me forget."

"Hey," He pokes your cheek, pulling your gaze back up to him, "I love you."

"I love you more, H."

He kisses your forehead, "Impossible. I love you most."

The reference to one of your favorite movies has you smiling at him, that dreamy feeling falling over you again, "Can we watch Tangled?"

"Sure, princess."

He sinks next to you, head propped up on your shoulder, navigating easily through Disney+ to find your requested movie.

Your eyes drift closed right about the time the lanterns are being released in the sky, a moment that normally leaves your face wet with tears, the soft vibrations of Harry humming along the perfect lullaby to push you further into your dream.

//

He wakes you later in the evening.

"Dinner's on the table if you want to join me."

"Time's it?" Your voice is still heavy with sleep.

"7. You were sleeping so deeply I didn't want to wake you, thought your body could use the extra sleep today."

"Yeah. It was nice, thank you." You stretch your arms forward, reaching for his hands to help pull you up.

"How do you feel?"

"A little sore. More sober, for sure."

Dinner is simple; a bowl of plain broth, salad, and toast. Exactly what the nurse suggested earlier. There's even a warm mug of tea waiting for you.

"With honey for my honey," He's so proud of his cheesy expression of love you cannot help but smile.

You look at him curiously when he sits next to you, the same boring meal set out for himself.

"Harry..you can eat what you want, babe. Seriously you've done enough today, more than enough to be supportive. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if you made yourself something different."

"Nah. S'fine. We're in this together, yeah?"

You raise your eyebrows at him playfully, "Did you have an organ snatched from your body today?"

"No, I didn't." He laughs, "I just meant food wise, love. It's vegetable broth, by the way, hope that's alright."

"It's perfect."

You nudge him lightly, an elbow to his side, shifting closer to ask for a kiss. He meets you the rest of the way, lips planted firmly on yours. When you don't pull away, he quickly adds another.

After dinner is done and you have another round of meds, the two of you end up in an awkward ball of cuddles on the couch. Harry flips through the channels on the tv before finding a show you both agree on.

But you're too restless, unable to find a position comfortable enough for you. You shift a few times, finally giving up and letting out a frustrated groan before tossing the blanket off the both of you and springing up and off the couch.

Harry doesn't panic, just grabs your hand before you can get too far away or lose your balance, keeping his voice low when he asks, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing hurts. I just can't get comfortable, and I don't feel right."

"What doesn't feel right, angel? Explain."

"I don't feel like myself. I don't know how to explain it. Just feel off."

He sees you're on the verge of tears and ascends from his spot on the couch, arms quickly enveloping you before placing a finger under your chin to pull your face up to look at him.

"It's probably gonna take a day or so to adjust, baby. Yes it was a minor surgery but it was a major change to your body." He's bending now to look right into your eyes, searching them,  "How can we fix it tonight, hmm? What do you need?"

Tears are free flowing, falling on the front of your t-shirt and down to the floor.

"Take your time. Breathe." A large hand smoothing warm circles firmly across your back; a balm for your restless spirit.

You pause, deep breath in before slowly letting it out, "I think I just need to move around for a bit."

"Let's go for a walk, eh? A quick one and then back to bed. Your mind needs more rest. How's that sound?" He taps your forehead softly.

"Okay, yeah." You nod your head, an approval of his plan.

"Don't worry about it, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine."

You nod again, scared your voice will break if you try to speak. He knew that those words held a lot of weight for you, he'd repeated them often throughout this whole process and to hear them now was a reminder of how safe you were. That with him, you would always be safe and loved.

Being dark outside meant you gracelessly padding through the house, up and down the hallway a few times and back to the living room. Harry stays close, encouraging you along with little claps and kisses to motivate you. When your stomach starts to feel uneasy, he urges you once again to take something for nausea. You agree to take a half a pill, knowing it'll help you sleep.

Despite the nap you had earlier and only being awake for a couple of hours, it doesn't take much convincing for you to settle back into bed.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

He's already reclined next to you, book in hand, the soft light from the lamp illuminating one side of his face. You're smushed against him, drifting between that sweet space of almost asleep and wanting to stay awake to enjoy any spare moment you get with him. His hand working through your hair helps push you towards the former of the two.

"I'm sorry to be such a burden today," Your words are slurring together but you continue on, just needing to get your thoughts out before he can stop you, "I don't deserve you and I shouldn't have overreacted so much about something so simple."

"Hey, none of that now," He lays the book on the nightstand, careful to save his place for later before pulling you closer to him, "You were not, nor have you ever been a burden to me. Just because you needed a little extra help today does not mean you aren't deserving of me or my love. You will never have to earn that. It's yours, always has been, will be as long as you decide to keep me around."

"Thank you. For all of it. I'll always want you."

"Always? Y'might change your mind someday, angel."

"I won't. Promise."

"Yeah? Me either."

A kiss laid delicately to the top of your head has your eyes dangerously close to falling shut again before another thought navigates its way through your mind and out of your mouth before you can stop it.

"H..what am I gonna do with a full week off from work?"

"Let me take care of you?"

//

And that's exactly what he does.

Mornings spent sleeping in, late breakfasts made together and afternoon walks. Evenings consisting of the two of you preparing dinner together or ordering takeout from some of the forbidden places you couldn't eat from before. Mugs of herbal tea before early bedtimes, you sweetly falling asleep to the sound of his voice reading to you most nights.

But his favorite part was that the scent of lavender was no longer cursed for you. Some nights before your surgery, when you simply could not fall asleep the pain was so unbearable, you would fill the tub with hot water and lavender scented bubbles to try to calm yourself enough to be able to drift off afterwards. It never worked, the heat always doing more harm than good. Harry would always be waiting for you, open arms and a soft towel to wrap you in.

So the smell became one you hated, memories of sleepless nights and nausea. But now you were free to use it again for what you always loved it for before it was cursed. In your body wash, lotion, even your laundry detergent; spreading the scent all over your shared space in as many ways as you could.

He even mentions it one night after dinner, when the two of you are pressed impossibly close together on the couch. His nose buried into your neck, inhaling deeply, pulling away to announce, "You smell like you again, love. Missed it so much." He burrows back in, placing kisses from your neck to your shoulder, ignoring your giggles and protests of how much it tickles.

A week later, the alarm wakes you sooner than you've become accustomed to, reminding you of your return to work. Harry's arm thrown over your waist pulls you closer as you try to leave the bed, a sleepy "Don't go." mumbled in your ear.

You do your best to peel yourself away from him, admitting silently to yourself how much harder it is for you to leave the warmth of your bed as it is for him to let you go.

//

2 years later, you have a scar you swear didn't heal right, and a man who loves you even more because of it.

[bluejellie]

Hello! Sharing some ideas, theories, and thoughts about the smp once again.

- When Techno mentioned the favor: There are a lot of different ways the audience can interpret this honestly. It might be a way of advancing the plot/we could be looking into it far too much, or it’s Techno foreshadowing betraying Tommy in the future because he reminded Dream of his power over him, or it’s my favorite theory posted a few days ago. This theory talked about how Dream prides himself on having power over people and would not relinquish that if he didn’t have to (especially not in front of others, as that would be giving up your power over the spectators as well), so when Techno mentioned the favor he was making Dream choose between losing power over both of them at once or delaying it further and keeping his hold over them a little while longer. His decision to keep Techno’s debt to him makes a lot more sense if you think about it that way. OP, if you rb or message me your name, I’ll tag you or put this post under reblog. The theory was just pure gold and I wanted to share it somewhere, but it was at least a few days ago and I like way too many things on Tumblr.

- At the festival, there are plenty of different ways that this can go. My personal theory is that Dream is going to use his favor with Technoblade to get him into the prison. When Dream tried to get Tommy to come back with him, he said he was saving his favor because he “had something in mind for it later”. Dream “sees all and knows all”, so it’d make a little bit of sense that he knew about the festival/their plan to kill him, but does he actually? He knows perfectly well about the prison, so that’s something he could plan to use his favor for. It would also be something new for the audience to look at and focus on rather than the same process of using his family, pets, and friends against him (Carl and Philza). On the other hand, however, repeating that plotline could very much play into an official storyline of Techno giving up literally everything and everyone he loves to keep himself and everyone else safe/swearing off of making friends or acquaintances just to keep others from having power over him and to keep those he loves from getting hurt in the process. That would also repeat a little bit too, but it would be interesting to see how far he took it, such as killing or freeing Carl and moving far, far away to where Tommy and Phil can’t find him. Those are my top two theories for now, at least.

- Tommy. Yikes, Tommy. The clingy duo is going through a MAJOR breakup. I’d like to start off by mentioning that Techno is NOT manipulating Tommy. He’s been upfront with him since the beginning. Recently, Techno has seen nothing but terrible things from Tubbo, so why would he tell Tommy- the person he gave a Christmas gift to and seems to get closer to every stream- that Tubbo was a good guy? In Techno’s eyes, he isn’t, so it would be wrong to push the opposite on Tommy. Anyway, Tommy and Tubbo’s conversation at the kidnapping was something that just absolutely tore them and the viewers apart. With the broken “you’re with Technoblade?” and Tommy yelling at Tubbo “you exiled me! You gave me no choice! And he isn’t as bad a guy as he seems” (paraphrasing of course)... it was a rough conversation to listen to. I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t pleased with the way it went, though. It might end up being just the wake up call that Tubbo needed. His decisions in power have always ended with pain for someone, usually including himself, so is he really fit for a position of power? That’s why Tommy made such a good decision to not make him the president in the first place. I’d compare it to someone being best friends with a celebrity- it isn’t going to work out as easily as it was before that one person was famous. Suddenly they have a reputation to uphold and no time on their hands, so they can’t do the same things that they used to. A power imbalance makes people have to work a lot harder to remain on good terms with one another, especially if there are people who don’t want to see you on good terms and will do anything in their power to drive you apart.

That’s going to be all for now (this post is long enough). I’ll probably post something again after the festival. Bye :))

[alligaytorswamp]

yellow , green , blue, turquoise , onyx , fuchsia , cream , mauve ( also genshin) & plum B)))

hey hi hello >:)

green: do you have a favourite flower?

nah i dont differentiate them.. every flower is just a flower to me jkhasjkdhkj...

if the flower is purple it gets extra points tho

blue: preferred type of weather?

rain!!! thunderstorms!!! <333

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

penguins or turtles :p

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

nope, never did

fuchsia: favorite land animal?

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

i have a helix one but it got fucked up.. so it looks weird :(

would love to fix it one day.. or maybe get rid of it completely hhh

no tattoos but i want some yes heheeheh

some longer answers will be under the cut jkahdsjkad

plum: a food you've never tried

oi.. dats like a lot of things... ;;

well I've never had anything "Chinese"/"Mexican"/idk what else people mention in a similar manner... i hear English-speaking folks refer to these.. "types" and yep never had any of that. also like.. any food chains that just don't exist in Russia? obv nope......... there is probably an insane amount of stuff I haven't tried, I'm picky and literally just eat at home 99% of the time so-

yellow: name of an artist you think is underappreciated

gonna give a dumb ass answer but... i can't...? i don't really know how much one should be "appreciated", like what is the "right amount" and whether or not this person receives it. the amount of notes/likes doesn't always represent that and also i don't look there at all.. also this one random artist can have multiple accs on different platforms with different engagements and all that... so how do i really know what's up with them? and once again i don't think i sit around thinking Damn this person needs more likes !! .. i just like/rb whatever i want and it's epic lashdjlksajdlk also i'm not sure if i have strong attachments to certain creators.. (at this point that is. i used to and some of it backfired lmao) ... the only attachments i have r ppl i'm friends with which is U Know... considered the right answer to this question and an adequate person would do just that but damn none of yall getting a free promo wtf 🙄 and i feel like mentioning one friend could lead to upsetting another or like .. i could just forget to tag someone... or I would waste time trying to figure out if it would be ok to mention them in an ask like this one and probably would decide against it anyways just not to bother anybody ....

and is getting tagged in a post saying u r underappreciated even a compliment? because i for one am not too sure about that........... much to think about uh huh

mauve: any unpopular opinions?

we entered danger zone.................... beware :з

uhhh well first of all I think childe x zhongli is like the most pathetic and boring "default" pairing this fandom came up with. they have 0 chemistry and I just hate everything about it. as much as I headcanon both as queers... together romantically it feels like 2 straight men put together by ya*i fans............ also before i blacklisted to ship and voluntarily looked through the ship tag... every post felt like a hard ooc. i could not understand what childe or zhongli are supposed to be as individuals, what they have in common, what kind of dynamic they have. deadass most crack ships with 0 interactions have more flavor than this tragedy

eng VAs are great people and appreciate their work but whoever decides the voices ain't doing it right. every male character sounds like a middle-aged white man.. and most of the youngest characters sound like very obvious adults trying to pretend to be babies. all of it irks me so bad god.. and there are so many characters that lose their little spark in eng........ (yet in korean and chinese they're completely fine??)

all of the playable adult male characters are shitty people in one way or another. none of them are good. they have reasons and different perspectives, yes, but they suck. every single one of them. stop ignoring it or trying to say only some are evil. none of them are inherently terrible.. but they're not these precious and righteous individuals. they're men.................... that says a lot, actually. :\

and as for women? god i hate the idea that they're all so uninteresting and weak. lichrally just a bunch of girlbosses, morals of most could be questioned as well... anyways some of the girls not having extremely dramatic stories doesn't make them any less cool. let them be

also all archons suck it's ok. you can still love them while acknowledging that they've done some shit. ALSO stop demonizing venti .. and now baal, while praising zhongli- he's an old loser stop lying to yourself. i hate when people present him as the only good archon, the voice of reason who is just so cool and collected but also ahh so cutely silly about mora !!!............. bitch the story quest of liyue is just one zhongli-is-a-fucking-moron campaign idk did yall skip it or something............ and even then it's ok to like him, he does have his logic/reasons/beliefs that justify his actions... he is not a good guy or archon tho.

shipping archons/adepti/whatever the fuck that isn't a basic human with a basic human is super weird. i mean the power dynamic will be completely fucked and ages? lord almighty... basically mortals should stay with mortals... the rest goes to baby jail except maybe ganyu she's a good girl

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk what else.................

maybe.. ahha... well.............. with how people hype up any vague new character that is leaked and declare how they will skip every banner ever for them - even tho all we know is... how the character looks like? it feels a bit too much. like truly what's the point of going crazy and then screaming at mihoyo every 3 seconds over some character that could be fake for all we know, or maybe they'll be a support you don't need, or they have a weapon you don't like to use.... can't you just wait till we get official info? jesus lawd- but regardless.......................... where is the same energy for baizhu :)

the man is literally in the game and people manage to forget him even in conversations about dendro specifically- how the fuck is that even real-

thanks for watching everybody don't forget to subscribe smash that like button and hit the notification bell ^_^