#i can roll a mean persuasion check

[beholding-moth]

was no one going to tell me how fucking awesome Castlevania is or did i have to find this out myself

[normal-thoughts-official]

it always struck me as kind of hilarious that you have to pass a 30DC check to convince shadowheart not to kill dame aylin but if you're just like "sure do whatever lol" she chooses not to kill her anyway. tsundere ass fuck. killing is bad unless it's out of spite. i have morals unless you try to tell me what to do

but i just got to that scene in my new replay and it made me realize that that's not what's at stake at all

because the persuasion check isn't "don't do this". the persuasion check is, your life is whatever you make of it. you don't have to do something just because your goddess tells you to.

convincing shadowheart not to kill dame aylin is easy. she knows it's wrong, and she doesn't want to, not really. if given the choice, she is literally unable to go through with it even if she clearly wants to, or wants to want to so badly she can't tell the difference

the problem is convincing her she has an option in the first place

the problem is convincing her that her life is her own

shadowheart has never belonged to herself since she was captured. not in body, not in soul, not in mind, not even her memories. she quite literally doesn't know who she is in more ways than one. she doesn't know her past or her family, she doesn't know who her loved ones are (including the sharran loved ones, like nocturne), all she really knows about herself is a fear of wolves that's been implanted into her by lies and an attachment to a flower she can't remember the details of. and a mission. always a mission. the will of someone else she has to carry on, that is not for her to understand or question or think about. she can't even want to serve shar, because she isn't allowed to pursue her intention to become a dark justiciar. she is supposed to be well and truly nothing, empty as the sharran doctrine

(oh, and pain that she doesn't know the reason of. no matter what, she must bear the pain)

how can she see herself as more than her goddess, when she quite literally doesn't know anything about who she is other than her devotion to shar? how can she choose her own destiny, when she couldn't even choose how to devote and give herself over to her?

she can't, which is why, unless you have infinite rizz points and/or roll a nat20, shadowheart attacks you. not dame aylin. you. and she never argues about whether or not it's the right thing, because she knows. what she's rebelling against isn't the idea of letting dame aylin go. what she's rebelling against is the idea that she could leave her cage and belong to no one but herself. because the idea is scary and she quite literally doesn't know where to begin. which is why her obsession becomes to find her parents, even though she doesn't remember them at all. because maybe they can tell her who she's supposed to be, and she can have the comfort of having her path laid out before her again

(which is also why she has to kill them. not because of some hand hurty curse bullshit. but because she just wants them and selûne to become the new shar, and she has to let that go if she truly means to claim herself again)

and now im sad. because it's easier for shadowheart to do turn against shar and everything she's ever had on the grounds of saving someone else than on the grounds that she deserves better than to be a puppet. even if you do nothing, saving dame aylin, to her, is easy. saving herself is a wholly different matter, one she's not sure she has any right to, or wants to, even if it's what she really needs. accepting a selûnite's humanity is easier than accepting her own. losing everything is easier than gaining her own autonomy. and she will fight tooth and nail to be allowed to stay in her own, metaphorical soul cage

[catslvrr]

for better or worse

pham hanni x fem!reader | one shot

Synopsis: You’re absolutely wasted at a party. You somehow end up spending the night lamenting to this stranger about how much you miss your ex. You find out the next morning that the stranger is said ex.

Contains: drinking, death-related jokes, cursing

Playlist

Like all bad decisions you’ve made in your life, it always starts with Danielle.

“Please,” Danielle begs, standing in the doorway to your room like a toddler who’s waiting to tell their mom that they just vomited. “Just for tonight.”

You glare at her as you pause your TikTok. “I’m not being your designated driver. Catch an Uber.”

Danielle skips toward your bed and flops on it, resting her chin on the palm of her hand and kicking her feet like a kid. She’s putting on this disgusting baby voice. “Please, I’m begging you… I don’t get paid until next week.”

You ignore her and press play on your TikTok. It’s an edit of Asami Sato, and damn, she is so fine. You’re blushing and giggling to yourself until Danielle rudely interrupts you by pulling your blanket to the floor, ridding you of its comfortable warmth.

“What the fuck!”

She pouts. “Please? I won’t ask again.”

“You said that last time,” you give her a blank stare. “And the last last time.”

“Last time was five months ago! And I always make it up to you.”

Danielle rolls over on her back, and her head is heavy on your legs. She begins to poke you.

“Please,” she whines, dragging the word out. You close your eyes as her voice rings in your ears like a mosquito, taking deep breaths to prevent yourself from murdering her.

Danielle is a lovely roommate. She pays her half of the rent on time, she keeps her space tidy, and she always brings you leftovers from the bakery that she works at. Only issue is, she’s a massive social butterfly. Meaning that wherever she goes, there’s always a party — either in your own apartment, or someone else’s.

She keeps trying to explain to you why she’s like this – saying that she’s an “E” for her “MBTD” or “TMDI” or whatever, but you couldn’t care less. All you know is that you want to peacefully rot in your bed.

But, damn, she can be awfully persuasive. Persuasive meaning incessantly pestering you until you give in.

You sigh in defeat. “Get out before I change my mind.”

Danielle sits up at the speed of light and grins.

“I love you so much,” she presses a sloppy kiss on your hand. You wipe your hand on your blanket in disgust. She then skips out of your room humming some song.

As you force yourself out of bed to get ready, you mentally prepare yourself for the night ahead.

Every time Danielle drags you to one of her parties, you hate her a little more. Which is impossible, because no one hates Danielle. But here you are, cursing her as you stand alone, leaning against the wall, arms folded, and cynical eyes scanning the crowd.

Danielle had practically abandoned you the second the two of you stepped foot in the house, preferring the company of her other friends. You don’t mind of course — this is always the standard drill.

There are the people who are not exactly drunk, just a little buzzed, who are mingling with each other, conversations full of giggles and exaggerated voices. Then, there are the people who are drunk, either dancing sloppily on the floor or passed out. You hear a group of people in the backyard cheering someone on to chug. Lastly, there’s the small group of people who are completely sober, stuck in the same boat as you are.

Okay, so maybe you do mind that Danielle abandoned you. Because you’re stuck here looking like a bitter loner, and in this very moment, you are one. You feel awkward, self-conscious, tired, and extremely bored.

You’re checking your phone for any new notifications (there are none) when you look up and make eye contact with a familiar face for a split second.

You immediately look back down and open Instagram, pretending that you have something to do. You hope she didn’t recognize you. If you can’t see her, she can’t see you, is what you tell yourself.

You hear footsteps approaching you, but you convince yourself it’s just a stranger walking past.

“Hey,” Minji says, a small smile on her face. Nevermind.

“Minji,” you greet her tentatively. “Hi.”

Nothing better than seeing your ex’s best friend for the first time since the breakup that happened three months ago. As expected, she’s taken on the role of the responsible one and is sober.

You mull over the past for a split second — you’ve never seen Minji tipsy, let alone drunk. She’s always been a good friend. It sucks that you guys don’t talk anymore, for obvious reasons.

Minji joins you in leaning against the wall. “How are you?”

“Good. You?”

You’re not curt because you have something against her — you just have no idea how to navigate these types of social dilemmas. There’s no exact rulebook for approaching a conversation with your best friend’s ex, especially an ex who you are still in love with.

“I’m good as well.”

Silence follows after. You fidget awkwardly, pulling out your phone just to stare at the same Instagram feed you were only looking at a few minutes ago. You keep refreshing the feed, but to no avail. You’re staring at the same reel of a cat playing a rhythm game.

“Look,” Minji says. “What happened between you and Hanni—”

Your finger twitches at the mention of her name. You straighten yourself up and rush out an apology. “I gotta go to the bathroom.”

Minji doesn’t stop you as you hurriedly weave your way through the mass of sweaty bodies. You don’t even know where the bathroom is. It takes you a good ten minutes to find it, and it’s surprisingly vacant.

You lock the door behind you. The air is humid inside, and you feel claustrophobic. The lights are dim. You steady yourself by gripping the sink. Hair is sticking to the back of your neck, and your clothes cling to your sweat.

You let out a deep exhale to collect your thoughts before washing your face. You stare at your reflection, and you’re not sure if you like what you see. You’re pale and your eyebags are prominent. You’ve lost the fat in your cheeks that Hanni always used to…

You splash water on your face again. If Minji’s here, then that means Hanni’s definitely here. Fuck, you knew you shouldn’t have come today. You close your eyes as the water drips down your face and back into the sink. It’s been a rough few months.

You grab some tissues to dry yourself and chuck them in the bin before steeling yourself to go back outside. You cautiously creak open the door and peek outside to check if Minji is still there. To your relief, the coast seems clear.

Your eyes scan around the house for a bit longer, searching for another corner to nestle into. And that’s when you see it. Or, more specifically, her.

Hanni’s leaning on the balcony railing, red solo cup in hand, and the moonlight is gently resting on her. There’s someone else with her – she looks familiar but you can’t remember her name. It was either Yunjin or Yeonjung. Or it could be Yeojin.

They’re laughing together, and Hanni’s eyes are crinkling just like you remember, and you remember the sound of her laughter, and how it was a melody that you were proud to bring out, and God, she just looks so pretty. Like she didn’t just go through a breakup.

Then Yunjin/Yeonjung/Yeojin places her hand on Hanni’s waist, and your body goes frigid. You feel hot — anger at first, shame next, and guilt last. And it’s a fiery concoction that burns all over you.

You have no right to be jealous. You force down the lump in your throat and look up at the ceiling until the tears are gone. Fuck. You will not survive the night sober. You take one last glance at Hanni and Yujin/Yeonjung/Yeojin and make up your mind.

You text Danielle: catch an uber, and send her $20 with Apple Cash. She’ll be fine. You hope. Then, you beeline straight to the kitchen, rummage through the cabinets, and help yourself to a small bottle of Jack Daniel’s. Then, you down it.

You grab another bottle of soju from a fridge (peach because it’s the best flavor) to slowly sip on as you settle on some couch. It feels slightly sticky, but beggars can’t be choosers. You know you’ll be too drunk to care in a second — you’re lucky you’re a lightweight.

It’s twenty minutes later that you feel the heat encompassing your body and the tip of your ears burning. You can barely hear the music over the pounding of your own heart. You automatically keel over to the side and relish the coolness of a silk pillow.

You’re mumbling to yourself (and possibly drooling) when you hear a muffled voice.

“Hey, you okay?”

Huh, the voice sounds just like Minji, but you’re too sluggish to respond. A few minutes later, there’s something blissfully cold pushing against your cheek, and then it’s gone. You’re pulled up so that you’re sitting again, and your head lays against the top of the sofa.

“Drink this,” Minji(?) says, and they guide the bottle to your hand. You shakily take a few gulps, and of course, you spill some of it on yourself, but Minji(?) cleans it up with some tissues.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

“Do you have anyone to take you home?”

You try to shake your head, but it makes you feel nauseous and you almost fall face forward off the sofa. Minji(?) luckily catches you and helps you back up.

“I’ll be back,” Minji(?) says. “Stay still.”

You blearily open your eyes, and everything still seems the same. Every movement of your head feels as though it’s in slow motion, like you’re in some kind of TikTok velocity edit, but worse.

People are still mingling, there’s still Boat Race and Beer Pong going on, and the night is still young. Your eyes close shut on their own. Your heartbeat is still as loud as ever.

Clearly, your plan to drink in order to forget about your ex didn’t work, because just a few minutes after Minji(?) has left, you think of Hanni again.

The two of you met in your first year of university the way most people meet: through a friend of a friend. In this case, the friend of a friend was Danielle. So, in retrospect, at least there’s one thing you can thank Danielle’s amiableness for. 

You and Hanni hit it off quite well — both still new and adapting to the unexplored terrain that is university, and despite your initial awkwardness and standoffish nature, you both found an unlikely friendship through your common love for simulation and management games.

(If you scroll all the way back to the top of your message history, it would show your first conversation as you teaching her how to illegally download City Skylines.)

Four months later and after countless movie marathons and one laptop explosion (your Macbook Pro died in flames after you attempted to open the Sims 4 with all its DLCs that you pirated), the two of you officially started dating. The way Hanni asked you out was extremely nerdy, but you think that’s what made it all the better.

You were both playing Minecraft one night, and while you were in the dark depths of a comically humongous cave, Hanni was doing God knows what up on the surface. That’s how it always was: Hanni was the builder and you were the miner. There’s no better dynamic than that.

It was relatively silent for around ten minutes until your curiosity got the better of you. “What are you doing up there?”

“Nothing,” you could hear the smile on her face. “Just building.”

“I know that,” you huffed. “I mean, what are you building?”

A muffled giggle. “Secret.”

You paused your mining. You’d probably see endless corridors of stone and coal in your dreams. “Should I go back up?”

“No!” Hanni quickly exclaimed. “Please, not yet.”

“Alright,” you grumbled, placing down a crafting table to make a new pickaxe. “Hurry up, I’m almost out of food.”

Fifteen minutes later, you heard a meek, “You can come up now”, and then the abrupt sound of her ending the Facetime. You were confused, and you tried to call her back, but to no avail. You spent an embarrassing few minutes trying to remember where the stairs back up were. Eventually, you began the arduous journey back up to the surface, and when you reached the top, your thumb ached from pressing the space key too much.

You saw it immediately. Right next to your cottage was a custom cherry blossom tree with a bench under it. You moved towards it, and a sign caught your attention: “Can we place our beds next to each other from now on? <3”

You laughed to yourself, blushing, and entered the house Hanni made before breaking your bed and placing it next to her pink one. You took a screenshot of this and sent it to her. She replied immediately with a Facetime call back. And that was that.

It was 9 months of this: enjoying each other’s presence, being disgustingly in love and domestic, opening yourselves up to one another… before The End arrived. Maybe you should have seen it coming. You were never good with your emotions though.

(Danielle’s horrified reaction upon seeing your ‘T’ result after that nonsense test she made you do flashes through your mind.)

Even if you did see it coming, would you have been able to stop it anyway?

Looking back now, it was so obvious. The number of dates dwindled down. The dates that did happen, once full of animated conversation and laughter over silly little things, now consisted of half-hearted and dry replies.

Maybe it was your fault. You know how distant you can get under academic pressure, and especially with a course as demanding as nursing, there’s barely any time to yourself, let alone Hanni.

The End happened on a Saturday evening. A familiar rhythmic pattern of knocks echoed through your apartment, and you slowly made your way to the door to greet Hanni.

“Hey,” you smiled tiredly as you leaned against the doorframe. “I missed you.”

With the hand that’s not holding takeaway, Hanni squeezed your hand lightly. “I missed you too.”

You both made your way back inside the apartment. You went to your room and slumped back in your chair, continuing your work as Hanni set up the table for dinner. Even though both your schedules were packed, you were glad that you were able to see her once in a while. It sucked, but it had to be enough, was what you told yourself. Little did you know.

At Hanni’s calling of your name, you remember running your fingers through your hair, closing your eyes for a second and taking a deep breath. A second was the plan. You ended up dozing off right then and there, and Hanni had to come in and shake you awake.

Dinner was quiet, save for the sounds of the clinking of cutlery and the occasional slurp. It had been like this for a while. At least there was background noise with the TV playing on some obscure channel. You wondered when this became the norm. The two of you didn’t even bother to ask about each other’s day, because it would elicit the same response: “Exhausting.”

You swallowed the last of your food and mentally prepared yourself to drop the bomb.

“Hanni,” you started off cautiously. “You know how we’re in second year now?”

She hummed in response, her eyes meeting yours. You missed when it used to have so much life and love in them.

“Well,” you breath hitched. “I start placement soon. And it’s full-time.”

“Oh.”

You both knew it was coming, but you guess it wasn’t something you were both prepared to face. Full-time placement typically ranges from four to six weeks, and the university allocates you a location to work at, usually far from home.

Hanni’s face was unchanging, and you hated this. She used to always be so expressive around you. You would always be able to read each other like a book — that’s how it always was. “How soon is soon?”

You tapped your finger on the desk nervously. “Like… next week type of soon?”

She dropped the chopsticks on the table. “Are you serious? You couldn’t tell me sooner?”

“It’s not that deep,” you hastily defended yourself. “A month isn’t that bad. At this point, it’s normal for us to not see each other for a month anyway.”

Your tone was harsher than you intended, but in the heat of the moment, your pride and your stress got the better of you. But this was the worst mistake you could’ve made, because it all escalated so fast and so wrongly.

Hanni scoffed in disbelief. “You say that like it’s my fault. You’re the one who’s always busy. You’re the one constantly canceling our plans. I’m the only one who’s trying to keep this relationship together.”

“Don’t act like I’m not trying here,” you gritted your teeth. “You know my schedule. All the free time I have, I spend it with you.”

“I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me over wanting to spend more time with you.”

“I’m not—” You stopped yourself from raising your voice. “I’m not guilt-tripping you. You should’ve told me how you felt rather than just dropping this all on me today. I’m already stressed enough.”

Hanni let out a scornful laugh. “Oh, you can’t be the one to talk about dropping bombs. And have the past few weeks not been enough of an indication for you? You’re too stressed to notice how we literally act like strangers?”

“You can’t expect me to read your mind!”

“Well, I expect you to at least care enough to notice!”

You threw your hands up in exasperation. “Look—”

She cut you off. “Whatever. I don’t think this will work out. Especially now that you’re practically going MIA for a month.”

“Are you serious?” You spat. “You don’t think our relationship is worth fighting over? You can’t even handle a few weeks?”

The jarring screech of the chair scraping against the floor as Hanni sharply stood up rang in your ears. “I have been fighting. But clearly, you’re too in over your head to see it. We’re over.”

And with that, she stormed out of the apartment with a thunderous slamming of the door.

You’re crying. You’re still at the party, drunk out of your mind, and you’re bawling your eyes out. You at least have some dignity to force yourself up and stumble outside so that no one has to witness what a horrible mess you are.

You drop yourself against the wall, and you hit your head against it. It hurts like hell, and there’s going to be a bruise tomorrow, and you want to scream so badly. You clench your fists instead, feeling the digging of your nails into your palm, your body racking with sobs as you try to breathe, but it’s too hard.

You couldn’t even grieve in the first month, because you were on placement. It did provide a temporary distraction from The End, but at night, when you lay in bed, miles away from home, there was nowhere else to run.

You sat with that weight, that feeling of your body closing in on itself. Tossing and turning, you could only rely on completely crying your eyes out until you were so drained that you had no choice but to fall asleep.

All you were left with each morning was the swelling in your eyes and the ache all over your body.

When you finally finished placement, you did what anyone else would do after a breakup: entirely shut the world out. The only time you left was for mandatory classes, which you barely survived. A cap and mask to hide your miserable self was the solution.

In the third month, Danielle somehow managed to lure you out of your room. She offered you some takeaway from your favorite restaurant, and you were surprised that she didn’t pry. You must’ve looked really bad. After that, you gradually assimilated yourself back into normal society and got a grasp of your usual routine.

What hurt most was that it wasn’t hard to live without Hanni, because you had already been separate and distant before you even broke up. The other hardest part was learning how to move on, because it was something you never thought you’d have to do.

You didn’t want to move on though, and although Danielle reassured you that it was fine (you finally broke and told her everything one night when she found you drunk on the couch blabbering to yourself), there was this nagging feeling in your chest that it was the right thing to do.

After all, it was your fault.

You hear the door of the house open and there are faint voices floating around. “Check if she’s outside.”

Some time passes by before a soft voice calls out your name. This is followed by a few gentle taps on your cheek.

You curl yourself up and turn away from the stranger, your voice small and croaky. “Leave me alone.”

“I’m gonna take you home.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want to.”

A few seconds pass by with no response. You assume mystery person has left, but they speak up again. “Why?”

“I’m sad,” your words come out nasally because of your blocked nose. “I’m really really really sad.”

You hear a sigh before the mystery person sits next to you, a few inches apart. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I miss my ex,” you whine. “I miss her so much.”

“Um—”

“I want her back,” you continue, slurring your words. “I’m so stupid. So stupid.”

Mystery person listens silently.

“And the universe keeps reminding me of her. Yesterday, I was playing the Sims, and the Sim I made of her burnt my house down. She must really hate me.”

“...You made a sim of her?”

You sniff. “Yes. And I made one of me. And I made us marry.”

Mystery person laughs quietly. The two of you sit there and focus on the muffled music from the party for a few minutes.

“Did you really mean it?” They suddenly ask.

“Mean what?”

“That you want her back.”

The question makes you burst into tears again.

“Yes,” you ramble. “I miss her so much… I want her back… I’d do anything…”

Your voice grows weaker with every passing word. You pass out after a minute of repeating the same thing over and over again.

You wake the next morning with a killer headache and swollen eyes. Huh, this doesn’t feel too unfamiliar. You’re snuggling yourself deeper into the bedsheets, but then you realize that this is way too comfortable to be your own bed. You blink your eyes open, adjusting your vision, and thankfully the room is dark, otherwise you would’ve been flashbanged.

Oh my god, your mind eventually registers. This is not your room. This is Hanni’s room.

You sit up in shock and horror. It makes you nauseous but you hold it down. How on earth did you end up in her room?

You can hear some shuffling outside the door. Okay, you think. Two options here. Best case scenario: It’s Minji, and you can awkwardly say hi and bye. Worst case scenario: It’s Hanni. There is no current thought as to how you will approach the situation.

Then you hear humming, and just your luck, it’s Hanni.

Okay, you think to yourself again and look out the window, is it possible to survive that jump? (It isn’t.) Your brain runs through hundreds of methods to somehow suddenly die, but none of them are plausible.

Hanni approaches the door, and you quickly hide under the sheets and pretend to be asleep. 

She flicks the light on. “I know you’re awake.”

You sheepishly peek out from under the covers.

“Go brush your teeth and shower,” Hanni says. Then, in a smaller voice, as if embarrassed, she continues, “Your toothbrush is still there.”

You stand in the shower, contemplating all of your life decisions that have led to this very moment. You brush your teeth, still contemplating all your life decisions. You consider sending a text to Danielle, something along the lines of: I HATE YOU!!!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!, but that’s not very fair to her.

You decide on sending a nicer text: hi i hope you got home okay… sorry for not staying sober!

You pace around the bathroom, thinking of what to say to Hanni when you step out. You could just take off and run, but you’re probably not coordinated enough to do that. Guess it’s time to be the bigger person and have a mature conversation.

You take one big dramatic step into the living room of her apartment. Minji isn’t home, it seems. You gulp as you see Hanni, back turned to you as she’s cooking breakfast. There’s already a glass of water and Advil waiting for you on the table.

You wordlessly sit down and gratefully take it. After a while, Hanni sets the table up, and this takes you back to the day of The End. You sit there, frozen, but then she stares at you in confusion and you remind yourself to eat like a normal human being.

“So,” Hanni says after a bit. “Do you remember anything from last night?”

“No,” you fidget in your seat. “Did I do something bad?”

“You said you missed me. And wanted to get back together.”

“Oh,” you swallow.

Hanni tilts her head. You still can’t read her. “Did you mean it?”

You play around with your scrambled eggs. “...Yes?”

She continues to stare at you.

“I did,” you say, a bit more firmly this time, albeit shakily. “And I’m sorry — for everything. I took you for granted… and I should’ve been more considerate of your time and your feelings.”

A pause.

“I’m sorry as well,” Hanni bites her cheek. “I shouldn’t have expected you to know how I felt.”

Another pause. “And I miss you too.”

“Truce?” You offer an awkward smile.

Hanni puffs out her cheeks. “No more last-minute news?”

“No more last-minute news.”

“Spend more time with me? Quality time?”

You nod. “Tell each other how we feel?”

“Tell each other how we feel,” Hanni repeats. Then she says in a serious tone, so serious that you almost don’t believe what you’re hearing. “Buy me Planet Zoo?”

“Buy you… Planet Zoo?”

Hanni swiftly hooks her pinky into yours before you can stop her. “You pinky promised!”

Unbelievable.

“Whatever,” you mutter with a smile. 

Planet Zoo is a small price to pay to get the love of your life back.

(“Okay, how drunk was I on a scale of one to ten?”

“Oh, you were so drunk.”

“I said on a scale of one to ten.”

“Like, passed out on the floor, crying, mumbling my name scale of drunk.”

“Okay, not my finest moment. But you were there with Yunjin… or Yeonjung. Or Yeojin. What else was I meant to do?”

“Yujin. It’s Yujin.”

“Oh… Agree to never mention this again?”

“Nope. Love you.”)

Dedicated to user shuxiii… hope you enjoyed if you are reading this…

[dogs2shouldvote]

during my latest relisten of taz balance, i recorded every line i found even the slightest bit funny with zero context, not even who said it (though some are pretty obvious). here’s all my favorites!!

“i’m probably studying.. my cantrips”

“just say mastrubating, dad”

“don’t come in mom i’m studying my canteips!!”

.

“yeah you’ll do any dumb shit”

.

“it’s like a bag of holding! but for.. ass.”

.

“do we know how much damage we did to him?”

“six damage, you said it out loud with your mouth.”

.

“it should be in the player’s handbook! get your salty snack to enjoy while you play dnd”

.

“my grandpa says it’s rude to whisper. especially on a train!”

.

“i’m not going to go toe to toe with a crab while youre armed with a terrible scottish accent and travis doesn’t even have his sheild. i’m out! … did i say travis? i mean leman kessler.”

“nope! that was wrong all the way around.”

.

“i’m cosplaying taako right now, as a stupid man.”

.

“who’s just rolling dice? who is doing secret checks that i don’t know about?”

.

“i always waste my 20’s on perception checks. like i give a shit.”

.

“it’s completely conceivable he would have a name tag.”

“IN A GANG?”

.

“like a pelt??? like a bramble*pelt*?????”

.

“is there a math check? what are you talking about?”

“yeah it’s your fucking brain. you use your brain to add numbers together”

“16”

“what are you fucking doing??”

.

“griffin i love you youre my brother. but if my skill called history doesn’t literally help me with history trivia questions in a category called history what are we FUCKING doing here??”

.

“can i ask you a question? are you guys mean to everyone?”

.

“fus-ro-over dere”

.

“that one was actually a badass bernie sanders”

.

“hey thug! what’s your name? i’m about to tentacle your dick.”

.

“a d6 is like some dice ass dice. that’s some monopoly shit.”

.

“i thought you were saying merle, it’s his bread and his body, take 2d6 healing points”

.

“you two remind me of something… you remind me of the babe! and then i throw the glass sphere at them.”

.

“make a constitution saving throw to see if you can eat this fucking rock with your mouth.”

.

“dungeons and dragons is a. great game.”

.

“my name is magnus burnsides”

“marchins burchens”

.

“magnus would not say that. however, travis would.”

.

“can we please not talk about chekhov’s bush?”

.

“we’ve got a ball, a sack, and a tool!”

“everything is gross here in dnd.”

.

“only losers smoke, isaac.”

“i give isaac an hour long lecture about the dangers of smoking.”

.

“i’m just gonna put my mouth down there and go buck wild”

.

“there’s a lot of go cart tracks called the adventure zone and i’ve been working with my lawyer to shut them all down forever”

.

“does taako fish?”

“yeah taako fishes.”

.

“a rock hard-“

*justin, clint, and travis laugh*

“come ON, *really*?”

.

“taako rushes in!”

“what! magnus follows him.”

“merle’s good out here!”

“WHAT is going on?”

.

“how do you not have a d6 it comes with every board game”

“my daughter-“

“eats them for power???”

.

“uhhh how much health do you have.”

“im not gonna tell you.”

.

“let’s see… i am going to hurt jenkins. with a magical spell.”

.

“this is about to become the taako show starring taako.”

.

“BLUFF FUCKING BLUFF O’CLOCK?? WHAT IS THIS, HALF PAST PERSUASION TIME??”

.

“i’m not laughing in game” *justin fucking loses it*

.

“she’s the best at burning shit ever.”

.

“traaav griffin got to do his show for so long and now he’s gonna destroy yours.”

.

“fucking lup finds like. a gun.”

.

“for sure, keep it sleazy. we’re out, bye!”

.

“i have to believe…. i’m gonna get those fifteen dollars back from greg fucking grimaldis”

.

“based on the rules of the game, dad… you die.”

.

“dad’s making a jerk off motion at me”

.

“don’t play the pennywise card like you ALWAYS try to”

.

“should i talk slower so that everybody who has been complaining about us not playing dnd has time to nut?”

.

“i am a wizard. my name is taako. and i am pretty well fucked.”

.

“yeah i’ve got cumin who do you think i am?”

.

“hear that, babe? we’re *legends*”

.

“i’m clint mcelroy and i played merle hightower-“

“nope”

[blasphemecel]

Michael Kaiser — On Your Knees

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2.9k TYPE: Humor, Teasing, ERM I think y/n and kaiser might like each other 🤓 WARNING: Suggestive sorry (flirting is only verbal but explicit at times)

Kaiser always looks alright with his hair wet. Not, like, stunning or anything, but passable. Then you know it’ll start standing up in weird ways after it dries a little and he’ll ask Ness to help him with it — which, embarrassing, by the way.

But anyway. You wanted to check out the communal bath after you took a shower, figured you’d be alone because it was already bordering on late, and Kaiser followed you because why wouldn’t he. Not like you value your peace and solitude or anything. He can be such a pest sometimes.

You were telling him what Isagi told you — it’s called a sento and apparently it’s different from the more popular onsen — and he said you weren’t ‘worldly’ and that you weren’t ‘impressing him’ and then some more about how ‘everyone knows this.’ Shithead. You should spit in his breakfast tomorrow, if you remember.

Well, you like sitting in the bath, at least, so you’re not too sour right now. Even Kaiser being right next to you can’t ruin it.

“I like this Raichi guy,” you say.

Kaiser shakes his head a little to show you he disapproves. “Don’t tell me you mingle with them. Also, the guy’s always benched. He’s second-rate.”

“No, listen, he was telling me about this sexy soccer motto he has. I really wanna know what it’s about.”

“You’re embarrassing. If you’re in my entourage, you should act like it.”

“Dude, you’re just mad at Isagi ‘cause he was trending on football twitter more than you were that day,” you say.

“I’m not!”

Very persuasive argument coming from him here. It’ll take a lot out of you to take it apart. He’s fuming about it, too. Maybe it’s not so bad Kaiser came along if you can poke fun at him.

“I don’t know why you’re the favorite on the team, anyway,” you say. “They all die over your corny tattoo and not to mention how much you love showing it off. Not cool at all.”

“You wish you were me. Now you’re being jealous because no one likes you, and it’s making you look even uglier than usual,” says Kaiser, seeming to believe himself if the smug look on his face is anything to go by.

“I mean, I had a girlfriend till recently, you know.” Kaiser rolls his eyes, but you ignore him. He’s always doing this, pretending he doesn’t want to hear you. “She had this botched blue dye job and said things like ‘pussy power,’ with the crystals in her room and the tarot cards and all.”

“Yeah? Sounds great. Did you pick her up after a match, loser?”

You click your tongue and wag your finger at him just to be annoying. “No, I don’t fool around with fans. Seems more like your forte.”

He flicks the offending finger away. “I’ve never done that, you slanderous pig.”

“No, but listen, she didn’t care about football at all. She didn’t even know what a scissor kick is. Ooh, she drove me wild.” You sing the last part, looking up at the ceiling fondly as if you’re recalling a warm memory.

Kaiser narrows his eyes at you, frowning. “You’re one strange individual.” And what a pompous way to put it.

“But anyway, wanna know what kinda tattoo I’d get?”

“I seriously don’t care.”

“A skull with two guns. Hard as fuck.”

“You’re so lame. It’s appalling, and also probably why you got dumped.”

He’s taking the tattoo thing seriously. At least seriously enough to insult you over it. He’s even snickering at you in amusement. His face is always, how can you put it… snide, but he does look a touch more evil when he starts grinning and shit. What a hoot, though. Really.

“Nah, there was this guy. He wore suspenders with plaid polos and these little sweaters over them. They were sustainable. Sustainable. Can you believe it? Sustainable! I didn’t stand a chance.” You poke him on the neck, already distracted from what you were rambling about. Kaiser is going to bring up your low attention span soon, you can smell it on him. It doesn’t take any effort to reach out, though, what with him sitting so close next to you. “This isn’t such a bad spot for a tattoo, actually. I don’t know, maybe you were onto something.”

“Paws off,” he says, swatting you away like a bug. A pedestrian bug, probably, at least in his imagination. “You really wanna fondle me that badly, you’ll use any excuse to do so?”

“Paws!” you repeat, clapping. “You’re hysterical.”

Kaiser rolls his eyes again. He seems to like to do that a lot, at least in your presence. If there was such a thing as competitive eye-rolling, you wager he’d be good at it, maybe even better than he is at football.

“No, but listen-”

“God, I hate it when you say that,” he interrupts with a groan, then contradicts himself by also swinging an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer just to yawn in your face with great exaggeration. The water is way too hot for this nonsense, so you push him away. “Because I never want to listen to you.”

“You’re crazy. Insane. It’s super clinical. Like, really.”

“Yes, I’m sure, unlike me, you’d pass a psychiatric evaluation because I’m crazy and you aren’t. Of course.”

“Imagine-”

“Can you stop topic-hopping?” Kaiser asks, annoyed. See, you knew he’d bring it up. “Does your head ever hurt with how much bullshit goes through it?”

You shush him. He scowls at you like you’re some mold growing in the bath, but you disregard his expression of disdain. “Imagine you’re having a nice day, I don’t know, at practice. Then I barge in with all of my asshole glory, right, and I walk up to you, and for no reason, I say, ‘On your knees,’ instead of greeting you. Isn’t that kinda deranged?”

Kaiser stares at you. To his credit, he’s decent at maintaining a poker face, but once he’s embarrassed, there’s no hiding it, no going back. Because no matter how much he does his usual male posturing or whatever it’s called, his face is all red, the blush even going up to his ears, mouth wavering the slightest bit. “W-What? In your dreams.”

“Oh, do you like getting bossed around or something?” you ask with the sensitivity of a numb toe. “That’s so pathetic.”

It’s quite the spectacle when his skin somehow becomes even more flush. Sick of your leering, maybe, Kaiser whips around, albeit not all the way, and covers his cheek with his hand while peering at you through his fingers. Finally, he decrees, “You suck,” with too much authority.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Forget about me, though. In that situation, do you spit or do you swallow?”

It’s unclear whether you’re getting any gratification out of this besides the satisfaction of flustering him, but you smile in amusement regardless. As if you care about Kaiser sitting there, looking all pretty and nervous because of some nonsense you’d been spewing. Not like you’re crazy about him or anything. That’d be ridiculous. You couldn’t be more unfazed if you tried.

You grab your towel with what you’d call impressive swiftness, then turn around and stand, covering yourself before preparing to go on your merry way. Kaiser pulls you back by the ankle, trying to trip you or something, the menace. Hilarious guy, really.

He is staring up at you in this petulant sort of way, grabbing onto his own towel with his other hand. “Why are you leaving so soon?” he asks, sounding peeved, as if you haven’t been here with him for an unreasonable amount of time already.

“I thought I should give you some privacy since you’re all hot and bothered now,” you say (with this douchebag laugh you have for situations like these, where you’re being a douchebag — self-explanatory), stepping out of his grip. Then you try to imitate his voice, but more high-pitched, accompanying your performance with a few vulgar hand gestures. “Oh, [Y/n], you slanderous pig! I think that’s what you’d sound like.”

“You’re such a lowlife,” he says, before all but leaping out of the bath and trying to maim you right here on the spot, and the only thing to save you from your demise is that he gets lightheaded and almost faints immediately after.

You reach out to pull him up and keep him steady, holding him by the arms. “You can’t be jumping out of the bath like that, man, come on.”

The lack of response concerns you, but after a while, Kaiser gathers his wits enough to say, “I’m going to make you slip, and I’ll be praying you split your head open.”

You burst out laughing. “Do it, then. You don’t have it in you, do you?”

Instead of doing as he promised to retaliate to your provocation, he settles for letting go of you and glaring, before clutching the side of his head and going still again. If there was any medical wing in this goddamn football contraption, maybe you would’ve taken him, but alas. At least you don’t need to worry about Kaiser too much since he eventually concedes and holds onto your arm for support.

The sight of you two stumbling around towards the changing room is probably comedic — uncoordinated as hell, covering yourselves with these flimsy little towels, using the hands not clutching at the other.

“You’re supposed to drink a lot of water before getting in,” you say.

“It’s your fault! You didn’t warn me we were going.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you weren’t invited. Jeez.”

“Oh, whatever.”

You return the tiny towel to the basket, swapping it for a bigger one and making quick work of drying yourself. You’re slipping on your shirt when you ask, “Is your head all right now?”

“I’m fine.”

When you turn around to judge whether he’s being truthful or not, he’s dabbing himself in a manner which is way more laborious, examining his reflection in the mirror as if he’s in some slow motion commercial where the camera will capture a conspicuous water droplet falling down his neck, admiring his jaw from different angles. He makes you sick sometimes.

“I’m not gonna wait for you to finish checking yourself out.”

He shoos you away with a dismissive wave of his hand. Unlike his, your actions most often align with your words, though, so you do walk out of the door. You’re not even ten steps in when Kaiser reappears, now magically dressed.

“Stop rushing,” he says, pushing you out of the way — and for no reason! There’s enough space for both of you in the hallway. You end up lagging a bit behind him. “I’m dizzy.”

“I thought you said-”

“Blah, blah,” he cuts you off, untying his hair and doing a bad job of smoothing it out with his fingers.

You’re rooming with him and Ness, so you’re already headed in the same direction. As much as this stinks, your other option was Gesner and Grim. God, is fucking Gesner obsessed with dick cheese. Of all things, that’s what he’s always talking about. Grim has your condolences, but the problem is out of your hands now.

“Your hairstyle’s ridiculous.”

Kaiser turns his nose up and smiles, coming off as pleased by the insult. “You can only wish to pull it off.” Always preening like a peacock. He’s entertaining. You swear he is.

You hook one of the ends, where it’s the bluest, around your finger, twirling it around and around. “I had a dream about you recently.”

“Aww, I’m on your mind even when you’re unconscious. I could vomit right now.”

“You were in the meditation position, but you were levitating, and the rat tails were holding you up.”

Maybe you’ve committed some kind of utmost offense, because he doesn’t even bother insisting they’re not rat tails this time. “Wow, those are the kinds of things you dream about me? Your brain is defective to the core.”

“What do you want me to dream about you, then? Are you implying something?”

He faces you, and he has this way of looking at you like you’re a blight on humanity. You have an urge to press your palms against his cheeks to check how warm they get when he blushes, but resist it. “You’re so delusional.”

He’s rolling his eyes again.

“Keep rolling them, see where it gets you.”

“What, are you implying something?” Kaiser asks, mocking you, but he seems kind of happy at the insinuation. You’re not about to point it out, though, having a semblance of self-preservation.

“But anyway, your hair,” you say. “It looks good for tugging on.”

He snorts, either at your audacity to speak such things out loud to him, or at the way you straight up ignored his question.

So you elaborate, just so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “Yeah, like, I kinda wanna grab you and swing you around till you fly outta my grip.”

“What?! As if.”

“It’d be so funny, though.”

“Maybe to other stupid people like you. Dense people who always ruin the fucking moment, for example, that type of thing.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say, stifling a laugh before entering the room.

The lights are still on when you come in. Ness seems to be reading some kind of book, sitting upright and all. “Hey, guys. You were gone for a while.”

“We were,” Kaiser says, you assume just because he likes hearing himself talk. “All that time I can’t get back.”

You crouch down to get him a water bottle in case he forgot how dehydrated he was (or more likely decides he’s above getting it by himself). It’s rare for you to do something out of the goodness of your heart, so when you turn around to pass it and find him draping himself over the solitary bed — the one you won dibs on in an honest round of rock, paper, scissors — you swear to never do anything nice for him ever again.

“Hey, get off! It’s mine.”

“But I want it,” he whines, as if his word holds more weight than the aforementioned game of rock, paper, scissors, which, as already established, you won.

You’re about to make an earnest attempt at throwing him out of the bed until Ness comes to his defense. “Come on, leave him alone.”

Saying no to Kaiser is exceptionally easy. But going against what Ness is asking? You can’t get a read on the guy. He’s either way too happy most of the time, or is secretly plotting your murders for all you know. You toss the water bottle at Kaiser, leaving him to smirk at your relenting.

“By the way, do you mind if I turn the lights off after I do my nighttime routine in the bathroom? I’m kind of tired,” Ness says.

“Sure,” allows Kaiser. So generous and charming with a winning personality to boot, this guy.

You lean against the bunk bed and ask, “Oh yeah, why are you still up?”

“I thought it might be rude if I went to bed before you both came back, so I decided to wait.”

Damn, now you feel kind of bad for dilly-dallying for so long. You clutch your chest with a tasteful sense of drama. “You’re so perfect. Hey, Ness, you wanna take the top bunk?”

“Wow, really?”

“Why not at this point,” you say. After all, Ness came in second in the game, but gave it up to Kaiser, and he ruined everything already.

“Thanks!” He grins at you before rushing off to do his business, almost blinding you with the sweetness he emits. Your gaze trails after him until he leaves the room.

Kaiser is looking at you with a mix between scorn and disgust when you walk over to his side to retrieve your phone from the bedside table, but you pretend not to notice.

Figuring you have nothing better to do, you take Ness’s previous spot, lying down on your stomach, ready to check your notifications. In your peripheral vision, you see Kaiser take his shirt off theatrically, then he has the fucking nerve to throw it at you. He makes such a big show out of existing.

It’s probably more painless to throw him a glance now than to be stubborn, so you exhale out of your nostril in resignation and turn your attention back to him. Kaiser props himself on his elbow while reclining on his side, posing on the bed, gracing you with a bastard smile. Almost presenting himself like a Renaissance painting you’re supposed to admire in some chaste, intellectual kind of way.

“Wanna know something?”

“What?” he asks, apparently irritated since you don’t seem so appreciative of him right now.

“I think shitty, obnoxious guys like you need to be put in their place,” you tell him.

It really is way too obvious on his complexion when he starts getting shy. He’s like a breathing mood ring. It’s almost fascinating. For a second, Kaiser is incredulous, but then he turns smug again, addressing you with a sense of challenge. “Don’t even joke. You’re not really about it like that. All you do is talk.”

You think you’re gonna start having even more fun together after today.

___

No homo I HATE HIM 😍

[cranesofibycus]

Brennan’s description of Invisibility is so interesting and breathes so much life into the magic system of this hyper-arcane world. I’m always more of a sucker for hard magic systems and as much as D&D already delivers on that front, I love hearing these little details that combine common knowledge of physics and light with the arcane. 

It also gave Cerrit’s 31 Investigation check the appropriate depth and dimension. It can sometimes be hard as a DM to find nuance within the success or failure of a roll. How does a 19 Persuasion check manifest compared to a 23? What does it mean to get 30+ on a check and how does it go beyond the standard success? The way Brennan handled it was kinda - for a lack of a better word - elegant? He let the narrative reflect Cerrit’s specialized abilities which made that 31 feel like it was a success beyond the norm. 

[jazeswhbhaven]

Beel, Are You Srs Brah? WHB Event React Part 3 *Spoiler Warning*

Now, since it's been a minute, if you need to refresh your memory bounce on over here ->

If you're ready to go, then lets goooooo (I really do have a feeling this is gonna be longer than I intended goodness)

So we left off where Amon was asking Miss Dealer when she got off work and well it turns out this is more of a deal/gamble. They play a game and she gets off immediately from work. And if she wins-

Now tbh I don't know if she means like they will work for her or honestly if this means sex slaves lol but it's wild because Nabe, Stolas, and Amon are NOBLES of Beel and yet they can be roped into shit like this??? That's just wild to me. Status gets you nowhere in Avisos other than trouble I guess.

What's crazier is that because they want that info from her, they all agree to this bet. Amon is rolling ahead and going with it in confidence (love that) Stolas and Nabe are pretty much like worried that they'll just be stuck as slaves forever lol, but they agree to it anyways.

Amon goes first, the game being that they have to beat her in rock, paper, scissors. And he wins the first two rounds. She's confused because she was certain her literal mind tricks would work to manipulate the situation just like she did with other devils (lmao this is Hell after all) and perhaps she should have worn a smaller shirt. (Amon ain't fallin' for titties unless they're Beel's sorry girlie) And so, because he won so flawlessly, Stolas and Nabe both think he fell asleep on Miss Dealer and ask him to blink and he does slowly and I'm just like well yeah he's awake guys.

And then...he WON the final round. Stolas asks how he did this, and he reveals he was just holding on to the Beel plush keychain the entire time as a good luck charm.

Miss Dealer has to pay up though, Amon won...

Girl, me too if Amon was that close to my face. Let's not forget he has a weapon hidden in his pants...

So he's just like telling her she needs to get off work like she promised, and from here all he did was touch her shirt and pull her closer to him.

Like damn he's good at what he does. Like boy where you learn that from? Because it's working on me too.

Buttttt it turns out, it's not all what it seems. He's being persuasive because he wants info from her. The loophole is that she can answer these questions since she's off work now. He can ask her anything.

At first, she protests, but he's like "You'll want to answer me..."

and starts being flirty again.

M a n the way I'd answer anything he wants if he kept touching me like how he's touching her? WHEW

A M O N pl e a s e

Same, Miss Dealer, same. Except I don't wanna put on a show for your comrades...so let's go behind that curtain in the back of the room (♡-_-♡)

So our boi is being cheered on by Nabe and Stolas, because he's taking this seriously. He does ask a question to the dealer devil that Nabe deems as off the mark but I mean it works??? He asked what Beel and her spoke about, and she straight up says they fucked in other words. "we didn't talk verbally" GIRL JUST SAY YOU FUCKED HIM LMAO

Let me just say for the record I'm fucking jealous because not only did she get hand-picked by Beel to be the highest-class dealer of the casino, but she got to sample that dick too AND eat dessert with him?

Ugh, give me your life miss dealer devil. I want it. (Patiently waiting for that fucking H-scene I tell you cause WHEN)

So she shows Amon how she was feeding the macaroons to Beel before, and he's all like frozen in time like the macaroons are hypnotizing him and Nabe and Stolas are wondering what the fuck is going on.

And I have a feeling I know what's happening yet again...

So the desserts/food once again are so perfect all of our bois are falling prey to it and eating as much as they can. Even the snacks and cakes.

Guys...not again T^T remember what happened at the bar?

NABE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL HAHAHAHA Like I'm sure he knows but maybe he just wants to hear her confirm it so he's not just assuming things. Nice of him to question himself but honestly?? Hahaha just damn.

He wut ⋋| ◉ ͟ʖ ◉ |⋌

chocolate covered dick anyone?

So while she's answering Nabe's questions she keeps staring at Amon the entire time with hearts in her eyes and probs creaming her pants nearly And then thing is that he did remember one thing that happened specifically when Beel arrived at the casino. He was riling up everyone with his presence, egging them on to keep playing the games and winning. But then...the smaller devils come in and said that he was throwing out weapons and encouraging others to fight each other to the death??? (sounds like a him thing ngl) But then the bodyguard was like oh yeah no that's not right, he said whoever offers up a piece of their body to him can have the next turn at playing the games and winning! But despite all of that nonsense and the rumors yet again, miss dealer answers that Beel did mention going somewhere afterward so Amon rewards her-

I don't know how she can sit there and be patient because the way my shirt would just be all the way off.

So they get a final answer from her that she heard that Beel stated he was going to the Cosplay Cafe as his next stop. Since Amon got his answer he gets up and she's all upset like "what about me?"

Damn Amon, you leaving her high and dry like that? (he cared less as he clung onto his little beel doll lol he does not give a fuck)

But our bois can't leave yet because...low and fucking behold

The bill is astronomical...and yet again it's because of the tab that Beel left open.

LIKE FOREAL BEEL COME ON MAN TT _____ TT

(why do I have a feeling he'd take you on a date, just to go to the bathroom and never come back and leave you to foot the bill)

So the devils give them options, to take out loans with high interest rates, or sell their body parts forcibly. It's even mentioned that one of the smaller devils beefed up three times the size of Stolas, Nabe AND Amon just to show they meant business.

Unfortunately, due to Nabe paying the first time around and Amon being broke over the Beel doll, our bby Stolas has to pay using monthly installment plans (poor bby in debt T^T)

So that's the true catch of the fucking casino. You're in so much debt from the high interests loans from how much you lost and spent there that you have to work until you pay it off, but it just ends up being a vicious cycle. Not to mention the desserts were so delicious you couldn't help but just keep eating.

Stolas and Nabe though now suspect foul play and I can't blame then since that's twice now they've been made to pay Beel's tab on top of their own with no intention of even partaking in any of the food/drinks of each place they visit.

Amon though is so focused on going to the Cosplay Cafe to find Beel he doesn't even care lol

So here we are folks at the Cosplay Cafe!!! But...as the theme has been going for the event, it's Dre that we see visit each place prior to our bois showing up.

The twin devils here greet him, because it's their job and not because they wanted to. And I'm just sitting here like, oh great who is in disguise this time because there has to be a reason Dre is there lol

And whelp it turns out that the pink haired devil twin is a fucking angel that he calls out to go fight him but here's the fucking kicker....

So you're telling me.

This smol cute devil is ->

This behemoth of an angel? That's the form he chose to disguise as????

I'm sorry everyone I was just sitting there trying to process that because he CHOSE that form. I wanna say something but I'll wait.

i'll wait.

So we're back with Dre confronting him and saying that he's been blessed by meeting the same angel from his past. We see there's a scar on his eye that's damaged just like Dre's, and that how it wasn't fitting for being in a such a tiny body. (you got that right but let's continue)

So we're going through a flashback right now of younger Dre, he seems to be around maybe 10 or so, (in human years) based on his look.

hey boo, hey~ (sorry Dre ;.;)

So it turns out that Raph was only aiming for Niflheim, I'm assuming just in a general sense and Dre's family was in the crossfire. He refers to them as jagged stones that were in his way so the nearby devils had to be removed.

Let me just stop here and say that Raph is a true villain here. He was on a mission, didn't care who was in the way and saw all of them as disposable.

Beautiful and creepy bone-crunching noises. Just as I expected and that's honestly how I wrote him in my longfic that he often cracks his bones on purpose. Figured that was an obvious canon thing, considering that he's just a gremlin of an angel.

I do like that every angel we run into it's described that their beauty would simply confuse humans and one would try to create a painting out of them. (ha it's funny because of all the nice fanart I see of the seraphs)

Andddd here's our stopping point!!! Wow, ANOTHER part coming up??? ;.; this was so long I pretty sure you didn't plan on reading this much from me huh?

Let's see if part 4 is the last bit...(I think it will be there's not much left to cover) See ya there~

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

ok what do you think every character in ofmd's highest dnd stat is?

Oooh ok let's get going. Ed and Stede are both very long and the others are rather short.

Ed- ok so I think Ed is definitely maxed out in both intelligence and wisdom. I think he's actually got a surprisingly low charisma. He just has expertise in intimidation and proficiency in deception and maybe persuasion. But more likely his player is looking at that persuasion skill and asking can I make an intimidation check instead.

Now if I was playing a d&d game and the assignment was play Ed in d&d I would give him a high charisma because I would stat him out as a lurker of the deep warlock BUT I think in canon where they're all rogues and fighters his charisma is ass.

Stede- Stede's difficult to stat out. I think most of his stats are probably pretty bad but he has the lucky feat. And some other means of making sure he roles well. He's not dexterous, I'm not sure on his strength, his constitution seems middling, his charisma is hard to pin down because everyone initially hates him (implies low) but he frequently wins people over with the power of friendship (implies high) but I'm leaning towards low on charisma because the winning people over is through persistent whimsy rather than true people skills. They become begrudgingly fond of him because he's impossible to get rid of rather than because he's charming is what I'm saying. He's a good problem solved he thinks on his feet and he's got a good insight which makes me think high wis but also every survival check he makes fails in comical ways so maybe this is another situation of his proficiencies tricking me into thinking he's got a higher wis than he does. The one thing he does have going for him is that he's pretty book smart so I have to go with int by process of elimination, but again, maybe strength, that's kinda the dark horse stat for him he doesn't show it but he doesn't fail any strength rolls either. He knocked a guy out with a punch tho so maybe strength. But his defining trait is problem solving so maybe wis? Idk. Not Con Cha or Dex tho those ones are definitely negative modifiers. If I had to guess middling wis, middling but slightly higher int, most of his proficiencies are in int and Wis skills, medium to high strength but he never uses it.

Jim- Dex. I will not elaborate.

Olu- I generally see Olu as the Jack of all trades build. He's a well rounded individual. None of his stats are all that exceptional but he's good to have around because he's got no negative numbers, and can do it all if push comes to shove.

Lucius- Charisma. He's an artist and his most used non-technical skill is being good with people.

Zheng- Charisma. I feel like this doesn't need any explanation.

Archie- fighting your way out of a snake takes grit, not being digested, and quite a few successful checks to not pass out while holding your breath. Constitution.

Frenchie- Frenchie is very cerebral, but not very book smart. That being said artificers are intelligence casters so I'm going with INT.

Pete- strength or con. He's a silly little guy but his mental stats aren't great and he's not giving me dex vibes either. Human fighter build.

Fang- Strength. See him breaking a guy over his leg and him holding onto the side of the ship with the goat in hand for an hour at least so Ned Low wouldn't find them.

Roach- survival and medicine are both Wis skills and historically my DMs have made players role wisdom for cooking checks.

Wee John- Strength but Charisma is definitely second.

Buttons- Druids are Wis casters.

Swede- drank poison. Lived. Con.

Ivan- he wields an Axe which is a strength weapon so probably strength.

Spanish Jackie- Charisma or Dex, but she displays more charisma.

Calico Jack- Charisma definitely.

Anne- Charisma is the one we see her use but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say her Dex is better.

Mary R.- Strength on the Ivan principle. Definitely not charisma

Mary B.- Commoner stat block with proficiency in painters tools

Izzy- Strength. But much like Stede this is a process of elimination. His Constitution is the worst Constitution we see in OFMD (Izzy the spewer), his Charisma is ass (see everything about him) his wisdom is so bad he can't succeed on an insight check to save his fucking life (and his life has depended on it) intelligence is not so good, Dex is good given how often he lurks in the corner unseen and appears places and the thing he does to Stede's shirt in 1.02 but the beginning of the duel with Stede is the most clear instance of a character using a versatile weapon with their strength stat I've ever seen so I think his strength is probably equal to or better than his dex. Also all the things we see him teaching Stede in 2.05 are strength and dex skills so I think that's where his skill set is.

Damn this crew is not a dexy bunch. Jim said "I'm playing an assassin rogue that throws knives" and everyone else said "alright let me not step on your toes then"

[utilitycaster]

I've been seeing complaints that Spenser was 'trying too hard to kill the cast' this episode, which I have to say I wildly disagree with, but I will admit to be a little confused why the players sometimes took one or even two marks after rolling a six. Or I guess I'm not confused so much as I wonder if the mechanics for injury, success, failure, etc could be too vague atm? Candela doesn't really have anything like CR rating or DC which it doesn't NEED, but I guess could create some grey area?

Good question! Here's the secret: all TTRPGs I'd consider worth my time have a huge swathe of gray area, D&D very much included (indeed, I find a lot of the more baseless criticisms of D&D, especially from Game Based Heavily On D&D But Different fans (derogatory) to come from people mad at that gray area) and as long as the players and GM have agreed on it, it's fine. With that said I admit that paying attention to individual rolls is not what I am inclined, personally, to do, but if this is about Sean rolling a six and taking two body...that is because he was going to take four body off the bat and reduced it with a good roll that the GM permitted him. (It also might be about Marion taking in the rift, which was similarly stated beforehand to cost him a Bleed scar no matter what he rolled, the roll reflecting how successful he was.) Now, we can talk about the implications of taking four body seemingly out of nowhere, but do recall that is coming off an earlier 1 roll in his interaction with Duncan.

CR ratings generally are a poor understanding of difficulty, and the thing about DCs is you can set them arbitrarily high (or for that matter, secretly low). Like...to use D&D, you cannot make a persuasion check for someone who dislikes you to give you all their belongings and run away forever. The DM is going to set the persuasion check at 50 and it is going to be unreachable by any means. Even a nat 20 will give you a result of "they think you're joking and laugh it off instead of run after you with a sword." If you jump off a sufficiently high cliff in D&D and roll a nat 20 to land, you still might take enough damage to die during your three-point landing. And so on.

So: while we don't have all the rules of Candela Obscura, it is valid from my knowledge of the Forged in the Dark engine, which Illuminated Worlds was heavily influenced by, for Spenser to say "this action is unbelievably dangerous and there is no possible way you are escaping unscathed, and a full success means that you live to tell the tale with only a gunshot wound or bleed damage rather than outright death." That's the other thing: completely valid for the GM to come in planning to kill the players. That's the premise of EXU Calamity. I would assume the table discussed that this was going to be a much darker and more dangerous game than Chapter 1 and everyone shares those expectations, and is prepared to possibly lose these characters. Which is, frankly, another thing that comes up specifically in actual play: what the table knows and expects and is prepared to accept is often something much harsher than the audience is prepared to accept. I mentioned being irritated at the presumptive nature of a lot of safety tool discussion (and am feeling very validated by Spenser's tweet about how he handled the letters to Sean) but like...when the CR or D20 or Candela tables prepare for their games, they have talked about expectations of tone and whether the GM will be trying to gently usher new players to victory, flat out gunning for a potential TPK, or somewhere in between.

This was a long, pre-full dose of caffeine way to say that one of the biggest rules of GM-ing is that the GM sets the tone of which the danger and difficulty of the world is part, and also that, based on everything about how this chapter has been presented, if someone accuses Spenser of being very hard on the party my answer is "...yeah, no shit, did you fail to realize that from the tone and text of literally every trailer and interview?"

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #338: Taisui Xingjun

if I can say one nice thing about taisui xingjun, it’s that lasengle went out of their way to make him feel very cursed. sometimes waiting for a servant to pop up in their event gives you cool new abilities to work with that aren’t part of their in-game kit, and sometimes they show up at the last second, throw out a vague party buff on for the last fight, and then fall asleep immediately. this time’s the second one.

thankfully, taisui’s not all that difficult a build, at least on the surface. he’s a Divine Soul Sorcerer, and that’s it! though to be fair, that class alone is really kind of mashing together two classes as-is, so he’s still not that simple.

check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

next up: make sure to like, comment, subscribe, and turn on notifications to see this build first!

Ancestry & Background

if we were being more objective taisui’d probably be a custom lineage, but it’s our build and I want him to be able to turn into his big form at will, so he’s a Changeling. with that, he gets proficiency in performance and persuasion, and his plastic presentation makes him a Shapechanger as well, so he can turn into any small or medium race as long as they have the same number of limbs, and you can’t turn into anyone specific without having seen them first. on top of all that, you get bonuses of +2 Charisma and +1 Dexterity.

finally, your background. you literally just sit there the whole event until like three deus ex machinas pile on top of each other to summon you into a vaguely human body, so that sounds like the Book of Many Things’ new background, the Rewarded, to me. that nets you proficiency in Insight and Animal Handling, as well as the Lucky feat for literally free. why anyone would ever pick a different background ever again, I don’t know, but now you get three luck points a day, and you can spend them forcing a reroll on any d20 roll directly affecting you and pick the better option of the two. whomst’d’ve the fuck thought putting that on a background was balanced.

Ability Scores

your highest score is your Charisma, because you’re basically skating by on your good looks and hoping that’s enough to make people farm the ungodly number of Cons needed for all your ascensions and NP levels. it is, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. second highest is your CON. yep, there’s a buncha them in there. third is Dexterity, because you don’t wear armor. like, at all. honestly this should probably be lower considering how easily you get eaten, but I’m trying to make a build that’ll survive level 1. after that comes your Intelligence, because the Con are quick studies at least when it comes to construction and video games, so they’re at least a little above average. that means your Strength is nothing to write home about- you’re a god, but you’re a kid, and your arms are kind of noodly. finally, we’re dumping Wisdom. as the Con you’re easily swayed, and as a god your tired ass isn’t helping anyone on watch duty.

Class Levels

1. as mentioned before, you’re a Divine Soul Sorcerer, which gives you Spells you cast using your Charisma. before we go into those, you also get Divine Magic, letting you pick spells from the cleric spell list as well as the sorcerer’s. you also get Inflict Wounds for free for your spooky shadow hands. I know taisui is technically true neutral, but his god form’s a god of curses and retribution, so I’m saying at the very least his powers are evil-leaning. speaking of, you’re Favored by the Gods, so if you fail a save or attack, you can add 2d4 to it once a short rest. whether being favored by this god is a good thing or not is anyone’s guess.

so then, spells! for cantrips, Blade Ward will keep your body in once piece for now, Morgan worked hard on that, while Chill Touch is another kind of spooky hand that prevents people from healing, which is pretty cursed in my book. you can also whip out your bell and Toll the Dead, dealing extra damage to injured targets, your you can curse someone with an Infestation, forcing them to move in a random direction if they fail a constitution save.

for leveled spells, Bane is a light cursing for a first level spell, forcing up to three creatures to make a charisma save. if they fail, every attack or save made for up to a minute gets a d4 taken away from it. we’re also giving you Mage Armor for +3 AC because we’re not that sadistic. even if taisui is.

oh, speaking of saves, you have proficiency in Constitution and Charisma saves, as well as Arcana and Religion. you kind of are a god, after all.

2. second level sorcerers become a font of magic! rn that just means u can cast another first level spell every day, like your new one, earth tremor! most of you is still down there, after all, just twitch a lil.

3. congrats! you survived long enough to get second level spells! now you can feed your party parts of yourself to aid them, giving them a bigger hp bar for the day! you also learn metamagic this level, so now your font of magic actually does stuff that’s important! you can spend your sorcery points to make a spell heightened, giving your target disadvantage to their save, or careful, automatically making the save for some of your friends! taisui’s got kind of a yin-yang thing going on between his feeding and his cursing, so this is the best of both worlds!

4. since ur kind of a nega-jupiter, you’re now a scion of the outer planes! yaaaay! since your god’s evil, you get resistance to necrotic damage, and you get chill touch again!

you can also cast mold earth to cover yourself up again, and you can cast wither and bloom! with this spell, every creature you choose takes necrotic damage, and one creature you choose can roll a hit die and gain hp back! it’s literally everything you do in a single spell!

5. fifth level, you have magical guidance, spend sorcery points to reroll checks, whatever! the important thing is now you can bestow curses! the phb gives some suggestions, but really you can do anything your dm lets you get away with!

6. sixth level divine souls have empowered healing, so whenever you or someone next to you heals someone, you can spend a sorcery point to reroll some of those dice, once a turn! i’m not sure if that works for life transference or not, but either way this spell makes feeding yourself to someone a lot more visceral. you take damage, and then someone else gets healed for twice the amount of damage you took!

7. you can now give urself an aura of purity, making friendly creatures in it immune to disease, resistant to poison damage, and they get advantage on saves against a buncha common status effects too!

8. at eighth level you get another ASI, so now you’re a Baleful Scion. that rounds up your Charisma and lets you pull people into the Grasp of Avarice- once a turn, you can add some necrotic damage to the damage you deal, which also heals you for that amount. your best healing spell so far uses your HP, so you need to fill that back up somehow.

you can also summon a Spirit of Death for an hour, making a floaty medium boy you can ride around on! you don’t even need to spend any actions commanding it or nothin’. it can only attack one creature at a time, but it’ll lock on to them and let you know where they are the whole time!

9. you can now make an insect plague! don’t misspell that, trust me. now you can make a 20’ radius sphere of locusts that obscure the whole place, and everything inside it has to make a constitution save or get piercing damage!

10. tenth level sorcerers have another kind of metamagic like extended, doubling the length of a spell you cast, up to an hour. you can also cast resistance to protect someone from a saving throw-related dangers.

speaking of saves, you can cast the most messed-up spell in the game, Contagion! if you hit your target, they have to make a constitution save at the end of each turn, working like death saves. after three successes, the spell ends. after three failures, you can curse them with a terrible disease for seven days.

11. at eleventh level, you can cast sixth level spells like Heroes’ Feast! after casting this, you can feed yourself to up to twelve creatures, curing them of all diseases and poisons, immunity to poison and being frightened, and they had advantage on all wisdom saves! on top of that, they gain extra HP, and all for a full day! just… maybe don’t tell them what the feast’s made of.

12. twelfth level, another ASI! bump up that Con for more Cons! it’s health, you’ll get more health. this is retroactive, remember, so you get an extra 12 HP this level.

13. thirteenth level sorcerers get seventh level spells, and its time to get real curses! with Divine Word you can hit any number of creatures within 30’ of you, forcing a charisma save on all of them. depending on how many HP they have, they’ll become deafened, blinded, stunned, or even straight up dead if they fail a charisma save. this also banishes any celestial, fey, or fiend if they’re not from around here, so that would make Dagon a real cakewalk. also, on the “instantly killing people” front, this gives you more than enough room to take out some poor bastard’s whole extended family.

14. your Angelic Form is a lot different than most people would expect, but you can still use your bonus action to fly around on your curse lump, with no limit on flight time!

15. eighth level spells! you can now Regenerate your allies by forcefeeding them a whole Con, giving them a healthy amount of HP immediately, with a trailing 1 HP per turn for an hour afterwards. two minutes into the spell any missing limbs grow back, though they can also instantly be reattached by just slappin ‘em back on if you got ‘em.

16. another ASI, another Con for more HP.

17. you can now use twinned metamagic, turning a single-target spell into one that hits two creatures!

speaking of single target spells, Power Word Kill’s a hell of one, ain’t it? if the chosen target has 100 HP or less, they die instantly! no saves, no nothin’.

18. you spent so much time putting Cons into other people, we almost forgot to get some Cons into you! with Unearthly Recovery, letting you spend a bonus action to regain half your HP once a day! big heal energy.

19. one last ASI before the build finishes! with the Tough feat, it’s like you ate two Cons at once, giving you an extra 38 HP now, plus another two next level.

20. at level twenty you get the sorcerer’s capstone, Sorcerous Restoration! every short rest, you get four extra sorcery point!

…yeah there’s a reason we usually multiclass.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

you have an amazing Con-stitution for a caster, giving you way more HP than most would expect of you. having a healer that doesn’t die easy is super helpful. this also means you have great con-centration. your more powerful spells don’t need it, but dropping a spell always hurts.

not only are you a great healer, you’re great at making other people heal too! you also have access to some strong defensive buffs like heroes’ feast, aura of purity, and resistance. also, being able to grow back limbs can be pretty useful!

you also dish out devastating debuffs, destroying enemy defenses with divine words, curses, and disease.

Cons:

yep, there’s a lotta them in there.

(but seriously, a lack of direct attacks drags fights out, the sorcerer capstone sucks)

[baldursyourgate]

Goblin Camp scene post romance, Early Access Patch 9 vs. Release.

Note: This post only focuses on the "romanced" dialogues and what did/did not made it to release, so while the parts where she talks about Moonrise Towers also differ slightly, it will not be mentioned further in this post.

🙡----------🙣

In your dream, you stand over yourself as you sleep. A knife in your hand, murder in your heart. You are ready to strike, to end your own life - but then a shock runs through your mind. This is no dream.

🙡----------🙣

Minthara: I had hoped you would sleep through this. (no longer in game) Minthara: I take no pleasure in what I must do. In another life, I would have taken you as my consort in Menzoberranzan. (in game, appear in different order, locked behind a roll check) Minthara: But the Absolute demands your death. (no longer in game)

🙡----------🙣 Tav: You can resist. Fight against the Absolute. (no longer in game) Minthara: I wish that were true. Come - let us test each other one last time. (no longer in game)

🙡----------🙣

Roll: Charisma (Persuasion) VS 10 Tav: The Absolute still needs me - you still need me. (no longer in game) Minthara: Killing you would be… bitter. I have never needed anyone. But I want you. (no longer in game) Minthara: I give you your life, on the understanding that you belong to me now. And I to you. (no longer in game) Minthara: If we serve Her well, the Absolute will bring us together again. But for now we must part. (no longer in game) Minthara: I still have business here, but your path leads to Moonrise - the heart of the Absolute's power. (no longer in game) Tav: Why would I follow that path when you just threatened to kill me? (EDITED: in game) Minthara: If She wanted you dead, I would not spare you. You live by Her grace. (in game) Minthara: When you meet Her at Moonrise, she will show you Her design, and your part in it. (in game)

🙡----------🙣

Tav: Do I mean nothing to you? (no longer in game) Minthara: There is a fragment of you that will live in my mind forever. But you will die tonight. (no longer in game)

🙡----------🙣

Roll: Charisma (Persuasion) VS 10 Tav: The Absolute still needs me - you still need me. (no longer in game) Roll: Wisdom VS 15 Tav: Open your mind - show her the power within you. [ILLITHID] Minthara: There is something in you that I do not understand - a mystery that will not be solved by your death. (no longer in game)

🙡----------🙣

Roll: Wisdom VS 15 Tav: Open your mind - show her the power within you. [ILLITHID] (no longer in game) Tav: The Absolute brought us together. (no longer in game) Minthara: True. And you played your part well - but now it is done.

🙡----------🙣

End.

I'm actually shocked at the difference now that I compare it line by line... What happened here????

[shiny-jr]

sorry if i’m requesting this wrong, but can i request the yandere alphabet with riddle? congrats on 3k, your work is absolutely amazing! ❤️

Warning: Yandere thing. Gender-neutral reader.

Characters: Riddle Rosehearts.

Note: Have not checked this for errors, but gonna post it anyways. 

Letters: A - Z

♥ Affection. How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? 

     ❧ Riddle Rosehearts, often feared for his unshakable dedication to the rules and his reputation for punishing anyone that makes the foolish mistake of breaking any of those rules. But you, he treats you quite different. Did you know that the Queen of Hearts had a lover? It’s true, although many often forget him. The King of Hearts was a short and meek man who was adored and treated gently by his temperamental wife. It’s sort of like you’ve taken the role of the king, meek or not, and Riddle is your hot-headed queen who treats you oh-so-lovingly. Riddle is a stickler for the rules, but he believes you are above that in a way. If you say something is a rule, then it’s now an official rule in the books. No matter how harsh he is to others, he most definitely has a soft side with you, after all, you are like his king to a queen. 

     ❧ His love language is a mix between acts of service and quality time. Reading in your presence, chatting about trivial things, studying together, completing chores, these things are simple and amount to forgettable moments, but he truly treasures each and every one. They may mean nothing to others, but to him, these moments of peace and order within your company are to be guarded. And he intends to make more moments like these. Riddle is rather proper and so he won’t commonly partake in physical affection as it is a bit alien to him, it flusters him easily if you so much as lock pinkies with him but he does enjoy it. Although what he’s gained the confidence to do is lock arms with you, usually when walking beside you. If you initiate anything beyond handholding, he’s turning red and losing his composure, easily embarrassed and stammering to stop this at once! But it’s fairly obvious that he doesn’t actually want you to stop. 

♥ Blood. How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? 

     ❧ A surprising (or unsurprising) amount. He takes it upon himself to safe guard you, only trusting you with Cater or Trey and no one else. Riddle lashes out often due to rule breakers but when you’re involved in the equation? Oh boy. Of course he does attempt to keep his cool, you can even help alleviate the situation greatly, but he does tend to overreact when you’re involved. 

     ❧ The smallest slight against you calls for a beheading! How dare they serve you the wrong type of tea on a Tuesday? How could they give you flowers from the garden on Wednesday? It is the night of a full moon, they cannot serve you this specific dish! However, with enough persuasion, you can stop Riddle mid-sentence as he’s screaming at the top of his lungs “Off with their––!!” Merely tug on his clothing and start your explanation, you can save the poor would-be-victim. No matter how he wishes he could punish the culprit, if you stop him and plead with him, he’ll sigh and begrudgingly give in to your plea, allowing the victim to not have to suffer with that heavy heart-shaped collar that appears with his signature magic. As long as you’re there, things will be alright. But if you’re not around, heads will roll for there is no one there to hold him back and convince him to have mercy. 

♥ Cruelty. How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? 

     ❧ I truly don’t believe Riddle would kidnap you. But what I can see is him manipulating you, convincing you to stay when you initially do not want to. He’s surprisingly good at changing your mind. You’re welcome to stay at Heartslabyul whenever you please. It’s a spacious beautiful dorm, the dorm leader will allow you to sleep in his room which is by far the largest. Additionally, you’ll have the company of that troublesome duo that are your close friends as well as the two seniors he trusts to watch over you when he cannot. 

     ❧ So no, he will not mock you. Everything will continue as normal, except you will have Riddle around you much more often. The other dorm members believe it is both a blessing and a curse since you moved it, but mostly a blessing. When you’re absent he’s much more irritable, but when you’re around (which is way more often) they can get away with a lot more if you excuse them. 

♥ Darling. Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? 

     ❧ Perhaps constantly having someone there to watch you, the dorm students tasked with attending to you like how the card soldiers dutifully guarded their royalty. Would that be against your will? If there is one thing Riddle refuses is to leave you alone. A royal must always have their attendants, and those attendants must be at their beck and call. Whether you like it or not, this is one thing for some reason he refuses to back down on, so you will never be alone. And you’re fairly certain that whoever watches you does report everything to Riddle, so everything you do he is aware of. 

♥ Exposed. How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? 

     ❧ For the most part, he only attempts to portray himself in the best light, but sometimes that’s ruined when he loses his temper with another dorm member. However, he does try to keep his anger to a minimum, so that you don’t see that side of him very often. It’s safe to say that he doesn’t bare himself entirely, even if he may think he does, he doesn’t. You may have easier access to a softer side he doesn’t usually show very often, but you don’t have such easy access to the parts he hides because of his terrible temper. He’s not extremely vulnerable either, but there is some vulnerability at the very least. 

♥ Fight. How would they feel if their darling fought back? 

     ❧ Shocked. Perhaps he should’ve felt offended, but because he’s you, he feels zero anger and only distress. Hadn’t he done everything right? He followed all the rules, he listened to your every word, so why was this happening? He did everything he was supposed to! This wasn’t supposed to happen! You were supposed to be happy, so where did he go wrong that caused this unexpected turn of events? Normally he would not tolerate disobedience from anybody, but you aren’t just anybody. He’d feel so bewildered, replaying everything in his mind to pinpoint where exactly he went wrong, and insisting on talking this out in a civil manner. He’s sure there’s a reasonable answer and that you both can come to an agreement, because he’s not sure what he’ll do if you continue to disagree. 

♥ Game. Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? 

     ❧ Heavens, no! Riddle is fond of the occasional game of croquet or cards, but this is nothing like that! The relationship between you and him is not to be taken lightly. These are serious matters that will be treated as delicately as the porcelain teacup with the sleeping mouse. Any attempt at leaving is frowned upon as well. Of course he can’t force you to stay against your will (he can actually, but he’d much rather not be forced to use the other dorm members as card soldiers keeping you locked up), but he will continue to convince you again and again to stay. You would leave him all alone now, all to himself in his loneliness? What of your friends in the dorm, would you suddenly leave them behind? Not to mention the rest of the dorm that has come to adore you! Surely you won’t run from them? You’re not completely sure if Riddle is oblivious or fully aware of the guilt tripping, especially since the rest of the Heartslabyul depend so much on you to always be there to calm Riddle’s rage. 

♥ Hell. What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? 

     ❧ His anger, obviously. Even if it’s never directed at you, it is still frightening to see his rage flare up, always directed at others who make the smallest of mistakes. If you fail to step in, it’s always unsettling and scary to see his face to red as he screams his head off. Even the smallest of things are seemingly amplified to great importance when it comes to you, which is why he gets worked up over the minor things. These are not just unimportant details to be grazed over, these are details that amount to something greater, they amount to whether you are content with him or not. 

     ❧ Once you left the dorm momentarily, for maybe an hour at most, just to visit the library while Riddle was busy. Cater was ordered to accompany you, much to your disappointment, because you just wanted a few moments alone. Was that too much to ask? Well, it wasn’t too hard to achieve. Cater made the fatal mistake of being glued to his phone screen upon noticing some exciting news on his feed, meaning he was much too entranced to notice that you had already checked out the books you desired. You wouldn’t cause too much trouble for him, you’d just enjoy the walk back the dorm in peace. And peaceful it was to be alone at last... until you reached the dorm. No one had noticed you returned, oh no, they were far too busy, and then you saw why. Riddle had gathered the rest of the dorm, and they were lined up like rigid card soldiers. You peeked from the hallway, terrified to see Riddle yelling at them because someone broke your favorite teacup and no one would fess up. What made it worse was that you could see the horror on everyone else’s face, too afraid to speak up and also afraid they would be punished severely. In your terror this made you realize, if Riddle was going so far for just a teacup and other minor matters, how would he react when more serious issues involving you arose? 

♥ Ideals. What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? 

     ❧ In truth, he has it all planned out, not that you know of it or that he’s ever spoken about it. Although he is willing to adjust his plans to better fit your desires. However, if he had this way completely... He still aims to become one of the most successful and knowledgeable magic doctors in the Queendom of Roses. Additionally, he would like his Mother’s approval when it comes to being in a relationship with you, but he doesn’t need it. 

     ❧ Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you were also in the field of medicine? Even if you cannot use magic, perhaps you could be his assistant or nurse or even just a regular magicless doctor. Or you can work at the front desk, or in the gift shop of the hospital he would be employed at. Really, you can be just about anything, even staying at home is fine too. Although he does wish you would spend your time doing something fulfilling and meaningful, that’s of course not too dangerous and not too far from him.

♥ Jealousy. Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? 

     ❧ Oh, terribly so, but just you beside him is enough to calm him. He does lash out, but again, it’s limited with your help and your presence. Also, the rest of the dorm has learned to be cautious when being kind to you, so that Riddle doesn’t accidentally mistakingly believe they are flirting with you. However, most of the clever ones have learned that when Riddle is mid-yell and about to collar them, they willingly go along with whatever nonsense he’s saying while addressing him as “dorm leader, Riddle” with a polite smile and courteous nod. Usually that’s enough to cool him down and make him reconsider using his unique magic.

♥ Kisses. How do they act around or with their darling? 

     ❧ We’ve already gone over how he acts around others, more easy to anger but still tries (and fails) to remain calm. Around you, when he’s not irate at others, he’s quite polite, charming, and easily embarrassed. It would be cute, only if you didn’t know about his horrible temper. He’s actually very sweet and considerate, always putting your needs and wants first before his own. Calmly engaging in conversation, partaking in the most peaceful activities, adoring you for every moment he spends at your side. Prepare to be treated like royalty. As much as he tries, he just can’t ever say no to you. You are truly the king to his queen.

♥ Love letters. How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? 

     ❧ Ah, romance... a field in which Riddle has zero experience in. Romantic matters had never really mattered to him before, he always prioritized his studies above all. Yet, that's one of his skills: his studies. He can learn quickly, and so he does research by reading old and new romantic manners, even hesitantly requesting Trey and Cater for advice. His approach seems so genuine and pure as he prefers to take a more traditional approach, meaning he will formally be asking to date you. Yet who could ever guess that he was hiding such jealousy and boiling fury inside? But to you, accepting his invitations to spend more time at the dorm was a delight, this was before his obsessive behavior came to light. When you mention something foreign to him, he makes sure to always research it in detail so that he may discuss it further with you next time. The roses of his dorm are always in bloom and are plentiful, plus he knows that giving flowers is generally seen as a romantic gesture, so you will be receiving a bouquet of flowers on more than one occasion. You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into when you one day accept the red roses and his long confession.

♥ Mask. Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? 

     ❧ Yes and no? His mask cracks quite easily, so it's not really a secret as to the way he acts when you're around or not. As we've already established, your absence just makes his temper that much worse. If you do happen to see him at this new height of anger that would startle even the temperamental Queen of Hearts herself, you likely witnessed it by accident. Riddle does try to remain civil as he acts so sickeningly sweet to you, but it's so vexing when all these men around you are brainless and can't do a single thing right when it comes to serving you!

♥ Naughty. How would they punish their darling?

     ❧ Oh, he doesn't really punish you, and in the rare case he does it's nothing physical. Say for example, you do want to leave and tirelessly insist on it while ignoring all of Riddle's attempts and convincing to make you stay. Maybe one day you do try to escape, then he will be forced to keeping you confined to the dorm. If you try a second time, you are no longer allowed into the garden. He truly doesn't want to punish you, you're forcing his hand at this point.

♥ Oppression. How many rights would they take away from their darling? 

     ❧ Very little, actually. You seem to be practically exempt from the rules, so you will actually have more freedom than others. However, your freedom will be restricted if and when you try to leave. That is the biggest thing that can be taken away.

♥ Patience. How patient are they with their darling? 

     ❧ Extremely. As we’ve seen, he somehow magically has the patience of a saint with you, but it’s the complete opposite with others. With anyone who is not you, they are always teetering on the line between safety and angering him. The only time his patience may run this is with anything akin to escape attempts, but he will go no further than restrict you to the dorm. Still, no one believed Riddle had it in him, to be so tolerant and tranquil when he should’ve been angry. And should you have told his dorm members about how one day Riddle will allow someone to break any and all rules and do as they please? They’d all think you were insane. What’s insane is how Rosehearts has placed you on this pedestal above even the very rules he’s honored since childhood. 

♥ Quit. If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

     ❧ Dying is very very unlikely, and it’s already been mentioned about the repercussions from attempting to leave or “escape.” Riddle merely wants everything to be perfect, he’s attempting his very best to please you, so why would you run after all he’s done...? 

♥ Regret. Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? 

     ❧ No, because he did not abduct you. He had invited you to stay, and you had accepted his invitation. It’s just that your stay has been majorly prolonged, but that’s no problem, at least in his eyes. Now he cannot imagine a future without you in it. All ways are his ways, so he will have his way, that being him beside you. 

♥ Stigma. What brought about this side of them? 

     ❧ This answer probably depends on the au. 

♥ Tears. How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

     ❧ Immediately he sees red. Who had the audacity to make you upset?! He shall have their head!! In the heat of the moment, he’s torn between wanting to immediately go after the one who caused your sorrow and staying to wipe your tears with a handkerchief. In the moment he feels somewhat hopeless, as he knows he’s not the best in these situations, but he sincerely tries. Ultimately, he stays, deciding to send others to capture the offender and dedicate this time to attempting to comforting you. He’s listening carefully to your explanation, immediately someone bring over what you want should you ask for something. While Riddle would like to rain hell on the offender, ultimately he will leave their fate up to you. After all, they had committed the crime of upsetting you. You will get to decide whether Riddle shall have his way or you may choose mercy, but the crimson leader dearly wishes you shall let him cast judgement upon them. 

♥ Unique. Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? 

     ❧ One strange thing about Riddle is that he lets you choose the fate of those who he believed wronged you or offended you. Most yanderes may set the punishment in stone and take care of it immediately without your knowledge or permission, but not Riddle, at least most of the time. And whatever you choose, he’ll abide by your word, whether he likes it or not. If you spare them, he’ll be a bit discontent that you allowed them to go so easily, but he won’t go against your command. You’re such a lenient and forgiving person... If you decide to punish them, he’ll gladly take over from there. You’re responsible and make sure that actions have consequences...!

♥ Vice. What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? 

     ❧ As mentioned before, Riddle is very lenient with you. He listens to you, as if you’re above the rules. This can easily be used to your advantage. Not to escape, he’s no fool so he’ll instantly realize you’re attempting to leave. However, you can utilize his leniency to do as you please. You can get away with what others can only dream of. 

♥ Wit’s end. Would they ever hurt their darling? 

     ❧ No, he wouldn’t dare! Why, harming you should be against the rules as well! Anyone who would dare harm a single hair on your head will be met with immediate and harsh punishment from his own hands! 

♥ Xoanon. How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? 

     ❧ Mentioned previously, but you’re practically above the rules. The very rules he upholds and has memorized and honored since childhood. No one could shake him in his determination to follow these rules, only recently being able to compromise when the minor rules are broken. So imagine how much you must mean to him if he places you on a pedestal above the Queen’s rules. All that time he spent studying, researching, memorizing the topics you loved just to grow closer and deepen your relationship. Not just anyone would pour such dedication and effort to take time and win you over. 

♥ Yearn. How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? 

     ❧ Oh, he won’t snap. Sure, the longer the process drags out, he may become more snappy at those surrounding him, but it honestly isn’t as terrible as compared to when you actually accept him. He will be patient, and he won’t become frustrated at you but rather at the process itself. 

♥ Zenith. Would they ever break their darling? 

     ❧ Perhaps on accident, or not. You may not be able to take seeing him snap or yell at your friends in the dorm for very long. Or you may come to eventually fear him as well, just as everyone else is too afraid to ever speak out against him. But maybe you can stand it, you might just be alright. As alright as you can be as Riddle insists on staying at your side and attempting to have everything as you want it.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 8

Enter the Vultureverse

Welcome back to the Report Card where we are having a mini recap because my schedule has been off the wall bonkers! Luckily, this week we can split the episode pretty neatly into two sections: research and fighting. We’ll go more in depth on the research than the fighting because those are the bits that will be more long term plot relevant though I’m sure the fighting will be long term relevant to Gorgug and the therapist I hope he has because yikes gang!

First things first, we resolve stress tokens which the party has to use to nerf themselves and take disadvantage on the skills they choose. They are as follows: 

Fig: Insight and Religion. 

Gorgug: Initiative, Insight, Deception, and Charisma Saves. 

Adaine: Initiative, Intimidation and Persuasion. 

Fabian: Tool Proficiencies, History, Investigation, and Perception. 

Kristen: Initiative, Wisdom Saves, and Medicine

Riz: Perception, Survival, Athletics, and Deception.

When we left, Lydia had dropped off all the info from her old party mates and the Bad Kids were surprised to see that it was all written not in Infernal but in Giant. The whole gang (except Gorgug who’s still at home) circles up in Adaine’s tower to help and she casts Comprehend Languages so she can read the texts. Fig tosses Adaine a bardic to juice her History roll which prompts Brennan to have Siobhan roll on a d100. On a 91, Adaine’s stomach gurgles and a cloud of dust mites fly into her eyes, causing her to knock her head and pass out. 

Kristen rushes to her aid (with a medicine check rather than spells since she’s currently out) to stabilize her. Brennan asks if she rolled less than an 8 and even though she didn’t, her stomach also gurgles and she sees a vision of the food court: a flash of red, a familiar scream (not Cass), and then silence. In Adaine’s eyes, she sees splattered blood reflected. Ominous!

Everyone is freaked and they’re getting major shrimp vibes. Fig declares herself cursed and submits to arcana checks from everyone. With his angel-spy necktie, Riz casts Detect Good and Evil and finds a fiendish aura around her that’s different than her natural one. She is for sure cursed.

While this is going on, Gorgug is at home, watching Frostyfaire stuff get set up. His parents allude to some ~mysterious machines~ under tarps and promise not to embarrass him. That’s not oddly specific at all and it certainly won’t come back to bite him in this very same episode. He gets the text from the group that Adaine passed out and goes to meet up with them but, as he leaves, he sees electricity running through one of his parents many gadgets and has a moment of inspiration about how the pulse of the electricity and the pulse of his blood and heart when he’s raging might have some kind of synchronicity. He makes a note and saves it for later. 

OK! Now let’s round up all the new info the party learns from the notes Lydia provided:

There’s a record of Ruvina (Lucy’s god) giving Cass a wedding gift: a Bridle of Frost that would allow her to command a team of fiery horses. The fact that Cass was married is new info and Riz speculates whether she was being married to a giant/giant god.

Apparently, Cass, Galicaea (her sister), and Sol (her brother) were traveling together in the Mountains of Chaos.

(As an aside, we learn that Cass is more aligned with fae and Galicaea is with the elves–we knew that second part already. We also learn that Helio’s mom was a mortal woman.)

We learn of a law of magic called Obliviati Mori by Clerics and the Law of Theothanatic Silence by wizards. It basically means that even though gods can remember dead gods, they’re not allowed to revive them via worship by speaking their name and reminding mortals of them. Adaine gets the sense that if this is a law then it can be broken somehow and Brennan says yes, but there are likely hefty arcane penalties. 

Fabian wonders if Cass’s, “I thought you were dead” was referring to this dead god who is maybe her ex. Riz wonders if Lucy was possessed by a god and that’s how she was able to write down the name of the dead god–something that should have been impossible since no mortals know their name and no gods are allowed to speak or write it. 

Fig thinks the Ratgrinders are being mighty suspicious in their seeming lack of mourning for Lucy and especially in Ivy’s not shocked reaction to seeing her disguised as Lucy. 

(These next pieces of info we don’t get until after a short interlude but I’m gonna put it here to keep it neat.)

Riz thinks that it’s suspicious that Tracker’s church would suddenly be blowing up right when this dead god is coming back and wonders if there might be some shenanigans going on where their worship is somehow being siphoned off to power this other god (something gods are specifically not supposed to do). 

In one of the books, Kristen sees an illuminated page (illuminated as in illustrated–think Book of Kells) that is unfinished. It has an empty arch wreathed in flames and a design of red 24 point stars with sharp rays that are very similar looking to the shatter stars they encountered in the mall fight.

Fig wonders if a union of Doubt and Rage (Cass and this unknown god) was maybe too powerful so their marriage was sabotaged by another god.

After all the research, it’s almost time to go to Frostyfaire, but before they do, Kristen takes a leap of faith and (1) texts Tracker to see if they can meet up since her god is relevant to the investigation and (2) texts her parents to ask if they want to get coffee. Tracker says she’s busy the next few days but she’s free starting on Monday. Kristen's parents don’t text her back but her brother Bucky does and lets her know that her parents are debating it but it feels like they’re gonna say yes. Sibling loyalty! 

Adaine does a Detect Magic on the token Kristen’s teacher gave her and determines that it’s basically a deity-less Holy Symbol so she’s got something to tide her over while she works on getting Cass back. 

Fig, who you’ll recall is dabbling in paladin classes, decides to pray for the first time and attunes to a moment of doubt that’s sacred to her: when her horns first started growing in and it changed her whole life, ultimately for the better. The shards from Cass in Kristen’s pocket glows indigo and she decides to pray with Fig as well, gaining a 6th level spell slot back in the process. 

On to the fair!

When they arrive, Gorgug’s parents welcome them–incluing Fig’s alter-emo Wanda since she’s in disguise to mess with Ruben/hopefully get some info. Riz and Kristen are thinking that all the crunchy, granola kids here from Aguefort are a substantial voting block but, before they can do anything about that, an old druid shows up and offers them a toke of his pipe. 

Fool the Bad Kids once, shame on you, but they’re NOT getting trapped in a net like Max. They all immediately roll to check if something’s up and Adaine crits, clocking the druid as an illusion. Riz casually says, “No thanks Oisin,” as Adaine casts Dispel Magic, revealing not the Ratgrinder’s wizard but their bard, Ruben who sneers at them and then gets into an argument with Gorgug about whether he (Ruben) shits or not. Very normal teenager conversations. Fig has dipped at this point because she wants to debut as Wanda to Ruben at a strategic moment but she secretly hits him with a Hex to his Int to help guard against any rolls he might make to clock her disguise later. She also notices how mad Gorgug is getting at Ruben’s nonsense and texts Porter a list of things that piss Gorgug off, trying to help him out. 

Ruben’s band, My Clerical Gnomance (of course), of which Fabian is a big fan (sure) head to the stage and start playing their set but then, all of a sudden, thunder rumbles and a surge of electricity makes the stage lights go weird. In a flash, Grix appears, hovering above the crowd! He assesses the crowd and finds it full of rulebreakers and felonies so he decides to do his part in restoring “Perfect Order” by CASTING DISINTEGRATE ON RUBEN. Why is he even here? This is so outside of his jurisdiction! He says the school experience is best optimized by being omnipresent but COME ON man! This can’t be legal, even in Spyre!

Anyway, initiative! 

Like I said, we’re really gonna breeze through this fight because it’s mostly non-plot relevant but there are a few things I want to highlight:

Adaine right away burns a portent roll to save Ruben from the Disintegrate. I wonder if, in Ruben’s mind, that’s worth being a little softer towards the Bad Kids in the future. 

Grix uses a spell or ability to awaken all the nearby machines to fight by his side but…uh…the Thistlesprings were busy during the four months of night and they decided to retrofit some of their random appliances into very elaborate sex toys. Both Zac and Gorgug are mortified. 

Ruben curiously doesn’t just ditch when the going gets rough like you might expect someone who only grinds rats to do. He stays and does what you’d hope a bard would do: plays with this band to distribute bardics to everyone. Of course some of that is probably to impress “Wanda” who he spots in the crowd but you have to wonder how much his personal adventuring philosophy aligns with his party’s. Maybe not everything he’s done is logged on the official record. Also, he seems horrified by the situation so either (1) the RG’s aren’t somehow collaborating with Grix, (2) they are but only certain RG’s are in on it, or (3) he’s a great actor which he could be as a bard but I think that’s least likely. 

We learn that Gorgug in addition to his homunculus, Cloaca, now has a steel defender: a gecko named Clobica (a Battle Smith class feature). It’s kinda like a familiar that can attack.

The fight gets hairy fast with multiple Bad Kids getting stunned and Adaine going down. Kristen uses her one spell slot to cast Mass Cure Wounds but that still leaves Adaine, a squishy wizard, surrounded by enemies and a bunch of party members stunned and failing to snap out of it. 

Grix mentions that he was warned to expect tomfoolery in general but especially from the Bad Kids which of course begs the question, “By who?”

Grix is successfully able to cast Dominate Monster on Riz by appealing to his sense of order and visions of Lord Salazar Edge's College of Lone Adventurers dance in his head. He turns his attention to Adaine next (which makes me wonder if he was just consulting a dossier on the Bad Kids in that moment because Riz and Adaine are for sure the ones you’d target with this pitch). 

Now, this episode might be known as the one where they had to fight a sex toy lawnmower except for what happens next. Because, much like in the first fight this season, there is a vulture on this battle set. And our intrepid heroes noticed it immediately. So, back against the wall, party in dire straits, and out of spell slots, Kristen decides to interact with the vulture as the rest of the table give thumbs up, supporting the bit. 

She prays to Cass, asking for help in connecting with the vulture and then gives a now very familiar, “Heyyyyyy girlie.”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?” the vulture says to the surprise of the full table. Feathers whip around the dome and a graphic appears: YOU ARE ENTERING THE VULTURE DIMENSION. A new set is brought out. Everyone is losing their minds. I didn’t take a hit from Ruben's pipe but I feel high. And that’s where we end our episode!

No extras this week because I’m crunched for time but, don’t worry, I’ll roll that all into next recap since the fight continues in the next ep. Can’t wait to figure out what the hell the vulture dimension is tonight! 

[holyxxx3]

I present to you, Dammor, a half-incubus Tiefling himbo with a tragic background but a sweet personality (most of the time).

Personality

Despite his past Dammor is very kind to those who are kind, but can be even more unemotional and cruel to those who display cruel behavior. He is very attentive and helpful. He also is extremely insightful, making him almost impossible to deceive. He will use this insight to help a friend, motivate others, or to intimidate anyone who stands against him or his friends with cruel but calm observations of their most delicate and personal matters only to inflict emotional disadvantage.

Despite everything, he considers himself a person with much love to share.

Recruitment

Dammor can be found in act 1 inside the Shattered Sanctum being whipped by Abdirak. You can recruit this companion by rolling a deception dice and convincing Abdirak that his punishment technique is insufficient. Dammor's and player's tadpoles connect, revealing an inner muttering about an undescribable pain, something that makes both of you feel a stab of immense guilt and that only more pain will ease this sorrow. To recruit this companion you will have to roll a persuasion check and pick the option 'Use the tadpole to show him your sympathy.', if succeeded, this will automatically make Dammor collapse on his knees and make him start crying his soul out as he releases some of his pain out. Abdirak will admire this display with delight as he thinks you're using your 'true soul' influence to inflict psychological pain on Dammor, leaving him satisfied and ready to let you take Dammor with you as your personal pet now that you've 'earned him'.

Trivia: - When inspecting Dammor before this cutscene, you can see his class is Barbarian. But when inspecting him after the scene his class changes to Paladin.

-When inspecting Dammor after this cutscene he doesn't have the Loviatar's blessing, meaning that he truly always accepted his brutal penance, and is so used to pain from his own self flagellation punishments that Abdirak wasn't satisfied with Dammor's silent bearing.

Approval

Dammor's approval rate is based on acts of selflessness, even if the cost is self-sacrifice or well being. Displaying the acceptance of one's pain and suffering as a conduit for other's happiness and well being will get Dammor to like you more, as he will see in you someone who understands him.

Romance

Despite being able to recruit Dammor in the early game, this companion will only open up for romance in act 3 after finding his childhood foster home and killing the mysterious old lady inside.

Dammor's romance will change his behavior towards the player and their other love interest, he will become more protective and more ruthless in the pursuit of the safety of his loved ones.

Dammor is ployamorous; "I cannot deprive others from my love as I love everyone equally."

Personal quest

Dammor's personal quest is located in Avernus.

In order to complete his personal quest the player must find the remains of Dammor's family, which consist in; a single adult Tiefling horn carved with infernal writing that reads "Lapis Sanguinis", a necklace and a music box.

Background

Dammor is an orphan, his 3 father's and 2 mothers died protecting him and siblings from the dangers of Avernus.

He caughts the attention of an elite leader and gets adopted by him.

Adoptive father sends him to a prestigious academy that trains both soldiers and scholars within Avernus.

He doesn't feel sure about his new life while others are constantly in danger, and always thinks about his siblings.

Gets picked on a lot, bullied a lot for being quiet, non confrontational. Eventually gets abused by both classmates and adoptive father.

He first kills his adoptive father not being able to take more abuse. Then kills one of his bullies.

Bhaal as entity manifests to him, promising safety in murder.

Gets expelled but he steals what he can so he can locate his siblings and take them with him to leave Avernus. Only one is alive and they escape the hells.

Ends up in Baldur's gate, a mysterious woman offers shelter days after he arrives.

Woman is a Bhaal cultist sent to retrieve him and teach him the murder ways, he eventually gets manipulated and forced to kill his sibling to prove himself to Bhaal.

He still can't quite convert fully, there is still light in his heart, but mostly guilt.

Manages to be raised by Bhaal cultists but normalizes murder for safety, his demeanor and presence change drastically under the Bhaalist nurturing, making him seem incredibly unforgiving, intimidating and ruthless but deep down he is still the insecure and quiet little kid he always was.

Not being able to find sense in his life, he wants to end it but nautiloid abduction event happens.

The effects of the symbiotic relationship with the tadpole makes his brain bring childhood memories he didn't even know he had, making him lose interest in ending his life as long as he can have new memories, even if it's little by little, but each memory reinforces the idea that only his pain and suffering will serve as penance for his deep guilt, forging him into constantly seeking self flagellation to feel at ease.

[muav99]

Short Drabble- felix x reader (Smut, dirty talk, phone sex, male m, edging, bf felix)

“I’ll help you sleep” 💤 💋

12am. Open your eyes, close them again. Then once more. Nothing…

2am. You check your phone and groan, how could it have gotten this late? You stuff your face in your pillow

3am. Insomnia has hit an all time high. You roll over to your left side and reach for your phone…..3:00am?! UGH

Oh…

*missed call from felix 4 hours ago

OH NO! It can’t hurt to call now can it?

You press the call button

*ring*

It rings for awhile but then!!

“Hi baby” he says

“Hey baby” you respond relieved just by the sound of his voice

“Why so late?” He questions softly

“I just can’t sleep is all…..my insomnia is acting up”

“Im sorry baby, if you want i’ll help you sleep” he says softly

“How?” You ask innocently genuinely curious what he’ll do…..maybe a song or…..

“Felix?” The phone’s been on mute awhile you think

“*sigh yes baby, Im here” he breathes out shakily

“Felix are you okay?” You ask curious about whats up with him all of a sudden

“No princess I’m not okay, cause your not here”

“I wish you were here so I could touch you”

Oh. So he’s

“Princess I need you to do something for me” he breathes out panting at this point

Lewd sounds fill your ears from his side of the screen. He’s no longer trying to hide it

“Okay felix” you say trying to keep your thoughts as stable as possible

“Just keep quiet and listen to me”

You gulp anxious about how you’ll do considering these terms

“Okay y/n, uuuhhhm” he moans and trys to clear his throat to speak

“Princess you have to sleep, if you don’t sleep when I see you tomorrow you won’t get any of this”

“I wont touch you, i wont slowly stroke my fingers up your thighs moving closer and closer..”

“If you don’t sleep, I won’t show you exactly what I want to do to you. I’ll tease you baby. To no end”

You clench your thighs together and try to suppress a whimper

“I wont hit that spot you like and I wont make you scream”

“I wont make you scream so loud the boys hear it across the apartment. I wont bend you over and treat you like the slut you are”

“I wont kiss and suck on your neck, i wont put marks all over you ”

“I wont give you what you want y/n”

“So you sleep princess because I’m coming home tomorrow and its……………..your…………uhhhmmm…….decision” he groans out finishing himself off

“Ffff….felix I…” you sputter

“Be a good girl and sleep hm? I do love you y/n and I hope I wasn’t too mean to you. Goodnight my love” he says blowing you a kiss through the phone

“I love you” you croak out still shocked

The phone hangs up. Its 3:30am. Your body is shaking head to toe. You could fix it yourself but. But you like this new side of Felix…..and you need to sleep to see what tomorrow brings.

He’s quite persuasive

@imastraykidsfan 🫶 tagged u babes

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 7🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 7 "Stress Tested"

Timestamp: 1:54:32

Video Length: 3min. & 53sec.

Fabian tanks it with Ivy! 😭✋

Brennan: "Anyone else rolling for Mystery?"

Lou: "Oh, I would like to do a half Mystery, half Relationship roll."

Brennan: "Okay."

Lou: "I would like to reach out to Ivy."

Brennan: "Okay."

Siobhan: "Cool."

Lou: "To hang out at school."

Brennan: "Okay. This is a DC 20,"

Lou: "I think I'm at 25."

Brennan: "Oh, you're at 25? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a DC 25 Persuasion check."

Lou: "Okay" *rolls dice* "Oh, I missed, but that's not gonna do it."

Brennan: "Okay."

Lou: "I'll take stress."

Brennan: *gasps* "Oooohh baby." (He's so evil! 😭✋)

Lou: "This is the only way I can help solve the mystery. All right?" *rolls dice* "That's not gonna do it."

Ally: "Wait, no!"

Siobhan: "Don't you get advantage?"

Ally: "You get advantage on all your rolls because of that really good Charisma."

Brennan: "No, no, I think you used your advantage on- on-"

Lou: "Bard to hang out with Mazey."

Brennan: "To hang out with Mazey. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Lou: "I'll take one more stress."

Brennan: "It's your last one you can take for this check."

Lou: *rolls dice* "Nah."

Brennan: "You go up to Ivy at school. How does Fabian approach Ivy?"

Fabian: "Hey. What's going on?"

Ivy: "What's that?"

Fabian: "What's going on?"

Ivy: "I don't know, you tell me."

Fabian: "You know, I just... I thought we started something the other night and it would be cool to get to know you better. You know, me and my friends have kinda been hitting the bricks metaphorically. You know, we're kind of on the outs, especially me and Fig, you know? We're having a lot of rubbers meeting the road, if you know what I'm saying. So, you know, I don't know, I'm just trying to broaden my horizons, socially."

Ivy: "I would say, it seems like you are trying to broaden your horizons. Yeah?"

Fabian: "It seems that way. Yeah. Is it the vibes I'm putting off?"

Ivy: "Well, I hear that you get a lot of those other little dancer friends of yours to hang out and stretch and feel your feelings together all in the room."

Fabian: "Yeah. It's, uh, it's like, uh... it's like, uh... It's like another way of like... I mean, it's a form of battle within oneself. It's honestly incredibly beautiful and important. But, you know, I'm always, you know. *stabbing motions* "I stay, you know? So I was just-"

Ivy: "You stay what? Stabbing?"

Fabian: "Stab. Yes. You and me finish each other's sentences. Crazy."

Ivy: "Nice. Well, best of luck with how important that work is. Yeah. It's nice you got a little partner, right? Student president. If it gets cold, you can wear her like a sweater, I guess."

Fabian: "Uh..."

Emily: "omg."

Fabian: "Uh, cold. That- Now that- Now I might need it now 'cause I'm feeling the chill."

Ivy: "Yeah."

Fabian: "So you don't wanna? You wouldn't wanna?"

Ivy: "Do what?"

Fabian: "I don't know."

Ivy: "Come roll around on the ground?"

Fabian: "I was thinking of something more structured like sparring, but you know, actually-"

Ivy: "You seem a little flustered for Maximum Legend."

Fabian: "Yeah, I think I'm supposed to be somewhere right now. I got a phone call."

Ivy: "Oh, yeah?"

Ally: "I got a phone call as a teenager?!" 😭✋

Siobhan: "I gotta be somewhere. I got a phone call." 😭💀

Fabian: "I have a scheduled phone call with my bank."

Brennan: "She says,"

Ivy: "Well, you better get to that."

Brennan: "She leans in and pulls down on your earlobe a little bit and says,"

Ivy: "You missed your shot, Playboy"

Brennan: "and leans back."

(Zac's reaction at that line was mine too fr! 😭✋)

Ally: "He has a scheduled call with his bank, though. I don't understand how that's a missed shot."

Brennan: "You see...Yeah, Alston Hughes is just like, 'Fabian, we need to talk, your money.' Oh, you also do get 10,000 gold pieces." 😂💀

Lou: "Oh, yeah. Great."

Siobhan: "Jesus Christ."

Ally: "So sick."

Brennan: "Incredible."

(I love everyone just cringing so bad at this entire extremely awkward conversation!!! 😭😭✋✋ It literally had me in tears!!! 😭✋)