#i can’t remember any other top tier video series

[louisloulouie]

Thinking about discovering One Direction around 2011 to 2012 and binging their video diaries and the Sugarscape interviews and the Chatty Man interviews and the funny moments complications

[borahaejenn]

💜Dear Bangtan and ARMY💜

  It’s that time of the year when I have to get my booster shot haha 😂 I talk about it in one of the videos but my parents are getting it and they told me to check if I can get it so I can and by now I got it. They had like one appointment slot open for 8 pm and I did it. I shall come back to tell y’all how I feel. Alright I came back from my appointment and slept a whole 12hrs I'm awake and I have no symptoms lol I woke up well. I thought I would have muscle soreness because I worked out well yesterday but I'm good. hehe if anything I felt it aided my digestive process. haha Also, HELLOOOOOO! How are you this week? I started gift wrapping gifts and I realized I needed more boxes than bags for gifts this year. Lol I literally drove around town looking for boxes in stores for a whole day only to find all the box aisles dry. Lol I even went to DAISO but I found snacks instead lol I was mad at myself because I didn’t realize that in my storage unit I had some Christmas stuff saved and I found so many unopened boxes that I didn’t use last year and my mom told me that she could have sworn she told me last year to save the unused ones and I was like “I don’t remember” until I found them lol 😂 y’all they were still in their plastic wrap from the store and I was over here struggling. I can remember small details but not even if I put boxes in my storage lol 😂 they do call it selective memory for a reason lmaoooo 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 just kidding.

    I was excited because the game THE DEVIL INSIDE ME came out and I love those games, the ones that tell a story and feel cinematic and are based on decisions lol I live for seeing many different gameplays to see how people think and what they would choose. The fight or flight response comes out really hard with those gameplays because they are designed to be like butterfly effects and any little thing can change one thing and you can’t tell what is right or wrong. Lol 😂 it’s nice to hear different gamers explain why they chose something and it is equally as valid even if it may be different than what is expected in a general sense. I would live my best life if ever y’all split into teams and played any game from The Dark Pictures Anthology lol I would love to see if y’all will finish the games with survivors lol I can already see the chaos happening because the decisions are hard at times. Lol But, I watched HOLLOW play it all and I binged his videos and it was good. Lol he got out with all the characters surviving and a lot of his decisions were risky but they worked out in his favor it was so dope! For this one that came out, it did feel like the film SAW but it also had the essence of the film PSYCHO. The main antagonist has an interesting psychological background. But, it was different than the other games in the series and I saw a sneak peek of the next game and it gave me ALIENS sci-fi horror vibes and I can’t wait. Lol 😂

   Taehyung, I saw your live it was chill like Jin’s but so chaotic in the games. Lol 😂 I noticed there was a Suga, marry me ARMY and a Hobi’s wife ARMY lmaooooooooooooo I thought it cute how you added ARMYs birthday in your user ID😭 I also have to ask, for the mafia game lol did an ARMY named WOONG literally kill off each duck around you single-handedly while keeping you alive just because? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I just kept seeing heads flying and blood gushing while you just stood there and looked confused on camera I could not stop laughing.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was one of the best awkward top-tier silences ever. Lol your facial expressions are always giving. 😂😂😂😂😂Taehyung, after seeing this live I found out that you are the second person I have ever come across to eat cherry tomatoes like regular cherries. The only other person who likes cherry tomatoes is my dad and I eat them in my salad only. Lol everyone around me either don’t like the texture and they give it to me or my dad just like with olives. But, I am the only one who likes pickles in my family. I read from ARMY that game that Fall Guys is not an easy game for a beginner and many said you did pretty good for someone who just went into it live like that. So that’s cool. I never played that game, but I thought of Mario Party lol where you chose a character roll a dice and you choose a theme and you have to go through obstacles to make it to number 1 lol but Fall Guys is more like “every person for themselves” like Super Smash Bros. But differently lol it’s fighting on survival mode and I dig it, also mostly because you get yeeted off the stages really funny lol 😂 whoever created the huge wind-looking turbines really wanted people to fall. 😆I also noticed ARMY trying to push you to the finish line and even trying to get you up from that one obstacle you couldn’t climb midway lol it was sweet yet funny. I am glad you enjoyed your time with ARMY.💜😊

  KOOOOOOOOK ! Lol I made a video talking to you about this lol but that was AWESOME! You got a sparkly jacket✨✨✨✨✨✨ you were shining, you were glowing, you were serving. Lol I loved it, honey! 👌 Up on that stage you gave the meaning “to shine” justice. You are really meant for the stage. I loved that you said this, “But what’s fortunate is that there weren’t any big mistakes and I could at least enjoy it a little bit.” Growth looks lovely in you. I say this because this week I was also thinking about how growth looks and how it feels and sometimes we aren’t fully aware we are in it until we surprise ourselves and realize that we are capable of something a couple of years back we wouldn’t think we could possibly do. I love that you validate how you weren’t satisfied with yourself but you are happy you did it with enjoyment and with no issues. It was different coming from you and I dig it. Also, the fact that you did so much on your own in so little time reminded me of how Bangtan does a lot and evolves to situations really fast even on their own schedules.I think it’s not only professionalism but also discipline and skill that y’all have built with time and I am proud of y’all for that. I think as a member from Bangtan you came out and represented so well and from yourself, you proved that you have a lot to offer, honey. That’s what’s up!👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 I also saw the videos with TEAM KOREA it was nice to see you interact with soccer players lol but the shirt looks dope! I think it’s nice you also said this to them, “I hope that they obtain results that exceed how much they practiced.” That inspired me and it just adds more to what you said about yourself and your performance. More so, sometimes we want to do beyond in the presence of others because we want to, but in the grander scheme internalizing the idea that we did enough to how much we worked hard towards it is also important regardless of what the result is. Being gentle with ourselves to realize that it’s okay if it wasn’t a full knock out but it went well and I enjoyed learning and doing something as much as I could with what I could give. It’s also like saying that I could do better but also the me of now is enough too. I like that. 😇 it’s a beautiful sentiment, Kook. Hehe I will listen to DREAMERS, well, and give it a lot of love. ✨😘 Also, it was nice to know that the water dries fast in Qatar. Lol since our skin is quite absorbent of what you put on it, I think your skin loved the water and absorbed it fast. 😭 haha I hope you ate well as well as the BTS CREW 🙏 oh and Kook it’s okay to enjoy your time haha when I see people having a good time, I like that. I never know what goes behind the scenes of a picture all the time so I don’t like to assume that someone is doing more or less of something just because of pictures. I look at photos these days and I’m like “moments pass and at least they felt happy even for a bit today and I’m glad.” We all know and I know you work just as hard, don’t worry. Haha 😆 I relate to explaining to people because I use to go out to concerts a lot and people would always have something to say even past “friends” and it hurt me because they just kept saying that I was not studying enough, that I was wasting my time going to concerts when I could be saving my money on other things, and even that I was not serious or to be taken seriously for going out a lot. We all sometimes judge because we want to make a narrative we have of someone in our minds real so hard by making assumptions when they don’t show us what we may want to see on social media. It’s natural for people to be drawn to that but it can be changed. What people didn’t see was that I studied every time and was passing and acing a lot of my classes and the times I did a post on my social media were not of me in the library and just concerts lol, that I was paying my own concert tickets and worked hard to go out and enjoy my time, and that I was depressed and me going to concerts really helped me get through it and just release. People can see my photos and videos even today and think certain things but that is just like an hour to a couple of minutes of one day. We are all constellations of the many different little stars from life that make up who we are. Nothing is ever linear or one way and I don’t see y’all in just one linear way. Y’all are constellations that are up in the sky and form many different beautiful views because you showed those different perspectives to me. After being here with y’all for almost a decade, I quite love the views I am still seeing when I look up at your sky. Hehe 😊 I love you JK. 💜 I have to say lastly, thank you for working hard. You did well. ❤️I just finished watching the MV too lol Fahad Al Kubaisi sings so beautifully as well and the collaboration between both of y’all was amazing. The whales made me tear up lol but the effects are gorgeous. I noticed ARMY commenting a lot about you being surrounded by all the flags and you looked so sick in those moments. That low camera angle was doing what it came to do lol  Bangtan is worldwide and this just adds to it and I love the unity. haha I dig it! 💪

       Jin, I came back to also talk about the last episodes of your traditional alcohol journey. Lol let me begin.

-The cameo of my homie the EAST WINDS making an appearance just a few minutes in lol 😂 I was laughing at the wind coming just in time when y’all were trying to smell your wine. Lol The East Winds knew what they were doing. East Winds is everywhere. lol I would know I am their apprentice lmao 🤣I’ve been around the homie enough times to know it is them. But, I am happy your alcohol came out sweet and good for the first time.👍

-“This is the perfect timing to boil some pork.” (Mr. Baek not even a full two minutes into the episode) lol I love it.

-this is funny, “So the proof of the pudding is in the eating?” then the BTS CREW : [the proof of pudding is in the drinking] lol well played. Or should I say, well said? Lol

-I was wondering for a bit why you said you smelled Hawaii lol and I think I know why. Hawaii is also known for its nuts, especially macadamias lol I remembered when I tried their chocolate called Hawaiian Host because my mom brought a pack one time from work and it was delightful. Lol 😂someone gave them to her and each day after I got home from elementary school I would go and have one until the box was finished. 🤤 but I can see how you got to chestnut. 😂

-YEAST is the queen we never thought we needed. Lol you get natural flavors in alcohol and you get to make all types of bread with it! Yeast is a winner here. Lol

-FAIRPLAY. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Mr. Baek is just as chaotic lmaoo I was done when he said this, “while we do this what if I trip and we drop this?” *while holding the giant bowl of your makgeolli* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-the banter in the car with the yukhwe sauce lol I can see y’all are both competitive by nature but lowkey about it. 🤣

-Mr. Baek outshining you in the market. 😆He was stunning on everybody left and right. I was like damnnnnnnn last time I ever saw someone be greeted that much was when my grandma was showing my mom and me the town my dad grew up in and she was just being stopped left and right from shop owners to neighbors lol she was really into the community so she knew a lot of people. Lmao 😂 as her introverted granddaughter I was shocked. Lol I have never seen someone be so well-rounded with people. Mr. Baek knows the vibes. Haha

-the turnip kimchi looking really delicious right now. 😭 I have to give a minute to appreciate all the food aesthetics and shots that the BTS CREW provided because it was outwardly especially the sizzling ASMR with the tofu and frying the kimchi. 👍👍👍👍👍👍 literally, CHEF’S KISS. Ahhhh!That’s how I fry my kimchi with my chicken from time to time too lol I either have it with rice, or I make it into a Hispanic dish. And it really does hit the spot when you have just that right amount of oil and the aftertaste of the meat.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I love how near the last episodes it got to talking about different smells and textures. I really think you could make a show where you make and talk about food with different guests too, Jin. The last episodes felt so organic when it came to you talking with Namgil and Mr.Baek. It was food madness and just speaking of it. It’s so nice. Lol I enjoy food based on texture and taste and at times it takes me a while to adjust to certain ones but then it sits right. I love it. My sense of smell is off at times lol which is why I don’t use perfumes and only go for vanilla or light coconut-scented items lol those are strong and enticing to my senses enough for me to smell. But with food, it depends. Lol

-I can see that being a chef is also poetic. I say this because of Mr. Baek’s attitude toward most things throughout the episodes. It has that essence of we won’t know unless we try it. I saw that you kept asking if something looks good or if it would taste well and Mr. Baek would say to just wait until you tried it. I was picking up on a life philosophy here. Haha it was refreshing to hear someone say things that go along the nature of enjoying the action of just trying something out. It is like Pharrell said, you don’t have to put it out, but just try it out. It goes well here too with Mr. Baek but with the art of food. It’s awesome.

-Jin, did you roll your eyes when Mr. Baek said he wanted to visit you where you get stationed in the ARMY lmaooooooo I love you. Haha 😂 you are so unserious sometimes. Cute.

-the plate. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 that’s me but with bread. My sister always looks at me in disbelief and judges me it’s funny. She is like “you didn’t look hard enough” as she grabs the bread I was looking for right out of the cabinet lol I just say I’m blind. It can’t be helped. Lol 😂

-TOFU ON PERILLA OIL 😭I feel like tofu is hit-or-miss with people. Not everyone likes it and some people do but they like it either really soft in their soup or really grilled. I like mine really grilled with salt and pepper and even in my fried rice, but I avoid it in soup lol

-“Not everything is made with sugar.” Imagine being a chef and being told by many people that they can taste the sweetness in food and assume it’s sugar lol it’s frustrating. Haha I say this because in the past when I got into food nutrition and I started making my own foods and experimenting I would make food for myself and that is the first thing I thought of and I learned that society as whole lives in a world where most foods are processed and almost everything has sugar that if they ever started to make their own food or even tried more home cooked meals they would assume or taste sugar because of that factor.  But jokes on them because you can make food and not even add sugar lol it can be tasted with natural produce. But, it baffled me back then. I would eat more out than at home back then so I felt and tasted the difference after a while.

-Namgil with “the sound is going to be music to our ears” and “I didn’t think you could do anything on your own.” Lmaoooo in one context he was referring to the kimchi and in the other he was referring to you. It’s hilarious. But, he is so chill and I love how his reaction to The Astronaut was alike to that of Mr.Baek. The track just makes you speechless, thoughtful, and peaceful. Lol you can see that in their expressions.😭

-the distillation process was sick lol it was like Mr. Baek had a whole chemistry set up in his kitchen I was laughing when he had to back up a bit because the fire got bigger when he was starting it lol 😂last week I said it reminded me of my chemistry lab and it is because in my class we had different sciences majors taking the course and some were, of course, chemistry majors and some of them told us that they took on the major because they wanted to work in the alcohol industry and our lab teacher was like “you made a good choice” lol it requires science to make alcohol and it’s awesome. Haha however you don’t need to be a chem major to make alcohol, but it’s cool when you can apply what you know to it. Haha it’s like a full-circle moment.

-I agree that times are changing in the essence of traditions and cultures and it’s nice that there are people who cherish it and want it to continue forward because who else will? Mr. Baek has a point. While technology is good, it is also nice to be able to do things hands-on and not lose or be out of touch with that knowledge. Having certain food traditions and processes is what even made the things we have now become what they are and if we lose that foundation, that blueprint, then what? We need that foundation to hold the future down too or we may just lose it all in the process. It’s like not forgetting where you came from once you notice where you are now. You need those roots to look back at to guide you when you may need to the most. It is important to preserve certain things too.

- Lmao Jin “Mr. Baek’s makgeolli was made with his feet and mine was made with my hands.” Jokes on everybody because you can’t touch the makgeolli or you can ruin the taste during certain processes. It taste good because it was sanitized well, meaning no hands or feet were involved in the making of the makgeolli. The makgeolli makes itself once you pour it and keep it closed for a couple of days. Lol I know hands have to be involved to pour and clean the rice but I meant this as a joke and in looking at the bigger picture. Lol 😆

-the matching PJs are a hit. 🔥 y’all were twinning.

-“Heroes drink from the start of the day!” “Morning vitamins” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 me with coffee. I’m sorry. Lol

-“It feels warm” …. "it’s because of me” lol real smooth Jin. Haha I bet your kalguksu did the trick. Haha

-The ending was bittersweet. I love how Chief got the essence of your energy through the name of the recipe for your alcohol. BROTHERS OF FOUR SEAS. I thought of this imagery in my mind, one where the four seas refer to north, south, east, and west. It is figurative to the idea of bringing people from all hemispheres together or in this case, your alcohol is meant to bring people together. I think in all sincerity you fit that. You like giving to people and your energy brings people together. You have the energy of a person who goes where the winds and waves take him and you like being around people. You evolve to people well and your laugh and humor are also quite inviting lol you hold up to that name Jin. You are a communal being. But this is just my interpretation. It is a lovely sentiment though to have that name Chief came up with be given to your alcohol recipe. I enjoyed this whole series and thank you for working hard JIN✨💜✨you did well too, honey.

  Park Jimin! Min Yoongi!!!! HI!!!!! It’s been a bit since I addressed y’all and I just wanted to say I miss you, too.😭 And Yoongi just know that whenever I see my cat each day I think of you. 😊 lol You are just soft to me. And Jiminie!!!! I saw little things here and there and I saw that you are working hard in your music and I am so happy to see that. I wish to say, FIGHTING as well! You are behind the scenes putting in work too and I see it, honey. I am very happy to see your process is moving and going. Let’s go! Please stay warm. I hope you don’t get sick this season too. 😁✌I LUV U. (❤ ω ❤)

Jin I saw your weverse notification and had no idea about the article until just now later after I saw what you meant. It’s okay. I am sorry you have been waiting to do things properly and low key and it just going the way it did. I dislike when things can’t go in y’all’s control because it’s hard when you want to do things with time and word gets out and something else gets said and since the media is powerful sometimes people can misinterpret and react to things when they see it. I still remember when you posted about saying happy birthday to members because then if you didn’t certain people would misinterpret it as something that it isn’t. I’m sorry y’all also may have felt pressured because of things like that. I know y’all most likely always say it behind the scenes without even having to post about it. Lol whether you say happy birthday to each other online or not, it does not define how close or how much y’all care for each other. Only y’all know that because y’all talk with each other and we don’t know what is happening behind the scenes but we can’t assume either. I don’t think it’s right to always assume something just because it isn’t validated by someone posting about it on social media. Not everything has to be put out there and people should not see social media as a means to validate every little aspect of a persons life unless the person says so. Lol some people need to touch some grass and remember that social media is controlled most of the time and people post what they want to because that’s what they want to show because that is what they are consenting to out of free will and it doesn’t define that whole person’s life. Like people need to step out of that glowing screen in front of them they are scrolling into each day and remember that. But, I do hope people listen to you and give you some space and privacy when you have to go because you may have family and friends saying goodbye to you and that needs to be protected too. 💜 it is a delicate time which means we must handle your words and wishes delicately and seriously too. I am just glad I can say goodbye properly next week even from afar and I am just happy we can all wish you a happy birthday before you go. I know it isn’t the happiest time since you have to go soon either the first week or second week of December but let’s send you off well and with love. 😭✨ I want to. I love you too Jin. I will do my best too. 💪

     I shall go now haha. I got videos being uphill again but I’m in another location. Lol I tried uploading the videos with better quality but they just download that way lol the beginning of some videos is glitchy but then it gets better lol enjoy.🤣 at least you can laugh or smile a bit for today. I also got a video for Hobi, because I know MAMA AWARDS are next week and I wanted to wish him the best too! FIGHTING, HOBI! 🌈 I am ready for some HOPE. HEHE 🌈 FIGHTING BANGTAN, ARMY, AND BTS CREW! ✨Oh and also, I love you. Please take care. 🙏 it’s soup and noodle season for sure and I shall go get some noodles this weekend, please eat deliciously too, my loves. 🤤 let’s eat well. YES, NOODLES IN MY BELLY!!!! HAHAHA

Also, it’s thanksgiving today lol but it’s like any day to me just with a hint of my moms tamales and a lot of sweet Mexican bread afterwards lmaoo  I will be like Mr. Baek these next days but instead of with pork I will refer to tamales. I will be out here saying “It is the perfect timing to have a tamale” 😂😂😂😂 we just get so many leftover that even if we go and drop some off to my aunts and uncles we still are able to eat some the next two days.🤣🤣🤣 it’s like every moment it’s tamale time. Lol My mom loves to be like Oprah with the food every time the holidays comes by and its charming, humbling, yet funny. lol She is like “And you get tamales, and you get them too, ERRYBODY GETS A TAMALE” lmao if you are her neighbor she will drop by and give you some. It is endearing.😁 so if you are celebrating or not please have a nice delicious meal my loves. Sure this may be a day to spread thanks and the idea of giving but I do that every day in different things that I say and do. I like to practice that sentiment a lot these days. I’m trying to build character lol even if it’s hard sometimes. That’s why it feels like another day lol 😂 but, I know many people have family over or possibly no one at the moment and it’s okay. You are not alone and if anything learn to be okay with making your own traditions in holidays even if it’s enjoying it people who feel like family, friends, and even if it’s just you. Nothing wrong with that. But please eat well.🤤 have a nice day off and from afar just know (I am honoring your words Jiminie but differently. Hehe you inspire me in many ways my love☺️) that someone from California understands you but also is grateful there is someone like you here today. I love you.🥰

With mucho amor,

Your Jennifer 🌻✌️🐰✌️🌻

awkward smile just because hehe

[purplesurveys]

1303

hehe

When did you discover BTS? I mean I’ve heard about them...probably as early as 2016 or 2017, I wanna say. I definitely remember vibing to Boy With Luv whenever it played on the radio but it wasn’t enough for me to really get invested. 

Anyway, my first real encounter with them was, funnily enough, during my job interview at my current work since the person who would eventually become my director asked me if I liked BTS. I said no but she encouraged me to get into them, and as a scared fresh graduate who just wanted a job I took her up on her reco and started dabbling in some Bangtan shit here and there lol. But it wasn’t until April this year when I became a serious fan.

Who was your first bias? My first bias was actually Hobi. The video that got me into BTS was a snippet of a Bon Voyage episode - the one where they took turns ordering in English when they were in Hawaii - and Hobi’s segment was the one that really got to me! He just seemed so chill and friendly and hilarious, and he’s still all the same to me now :)

My second bias after him had been Jin, mostly because he’s Angela’s bias and she helped introduce me to the group so she served as a big influence at one point. As I got more accustomed to the group and became more of an ~independent fan, that was the time I was able to decide on my own bias. 

Who is your current bias? Taehyung. Watching In The Soop was really what turned the tide for me...I can’t even count how many times I swooned over him watching that series.

Who is your bias wrecker? Yoongi. His song The Last really got to me, so he’s been my wrecker for the longest time. 

What are your top 5 favorite songs?

Butterfly is my all-time favorite. I appreciate the emotional weight it carries and just the fact that the boys’ vulnerability is so palpable not just from the lyrics, but in the way they sing.

Sea is another favorite. It’s even more special to me since it’s a hidden track, so it feels like a nice little secret that I can keep to myself.

Dionysus is the first song I heard of theirs where I really felt “what the FUCK this is so good” so this takes up an extremely big chunk of my heart. It helps that they are absolute beasts performing this song live.

UGH! is such a no-holds-barred song and the fact that it goes hard as a motherfucker gives it a million bonus points for me. I usually listen to this when I need to feel hyped up...or when I’m simply just pissed.

Picking the fifth song is such a bitch, but I’ll have to go with Mic Drop. Same tier as UGH! for sure.

Citing some honorable mentions because I can’t move on from this question without mentioning these other gems: Autumn Leaves; Fake Love; Black Swan; Silver Spoon; Cyphers 3 and 4.

What is your favorite solo song?

RM: Bicycle (solo) / Persona (credited as BTS)

Jin: Abyss (solo) / Awake (credited as BTS)

Yoongi: The Last (solo) / Seesaw (credited as BTS)

Hobi: Blue Side (solo) / Ego (credited as BTS)

Jimin: Promise (solo) / Lie (credited as BTS)

Taehyung: His sleep song demo (solo) / Singularity (credited as BTS)

Jungkook: Decalcomania (solo) / My Time (credited as BTS)

What is your favorite music video? I have to give it to I Need U.

What is your favorite choreography? Black Swan and Fake Love both have super artistic choreography that I never get tired of watching. But when it comes to hardcore dancing, Dope probably takes the cake for me. That, Idol, and ON.

Who is your favorite vocalist? The whole vocal line.

Who is your favorite rapper? The whole rap line.

Who is your favorite dancer? Sorry, still all of them hahaha.

What is your favorite BTS era? I feel like I would have really appreciated the HYYH era had I been a fan in 2015. A bunch of teenagers weaving their way through life and facing a million roadblocks along the way? Definitely would’ve been able to relate hard as a high school student.

Have you seen any of their other projects? (Run BTS, BTS Gayo, BT21, BTS World, etc.) Of course. Some of it I don’t really have the time to get invested in or is simply not my type of content, like BTS World and BU...but I’ve for sure seen their reality and variety shows - Bon Voyage, In The Soop, of course Run BTS is a must-watch...and I’m working my way through their other stuff like American Hustle Life, Burn the Stage, etc. I also have a handful of BT21 merch but so far I only have Tata hehe.

Do you keep up with BU? Honestly not a fan of fantasy elements or webtoons so this isn’t a priority any time soon, but I have dabbled in it! I’ll keep up by watching summary videos every now and then, and it also helps that a number of their music videos have allusions to BU. 

--

1. How long have you been a fan of BTS? It would only be 6 months this month. Feels like I got here ages ago hahaha.

2. How did you discover BTS? My former director, Ysa, planted the seeds but it was really Angela who helped sprurred my interest. I was the main audience of all her rants whenever the West would snub or be racist towards the boys (especially during this year’s Grammys), and she was also the one who answered all the questions I had when I started getting interested.

3. Why do you love BTS? A looooot of people say they got into them at a time when they struggled with loving themselves or finding themselves, and those stories are always great to hear; but mine is honestly a bit different. I started loving them at a point where I was already a bit older and a bit more capable of self-love. I was in the process of moving on from a difficult breakup and was all about self-empowerment hahaha so overall, they were honestly simply a huge help with providing comic relief during such a transitional period for me – like I said, I got into them because of Bon Voyage and how each of their personalities shone through. To this day I really enjoy watching their reality stuff because it lets me see that they’re a lot like my one-braincell, clumsy, sometimes downright clueless self.

That said, I admire how they’re not afraid to appear less...rigid than other artists? like they’ve always been super honest and transparent with what they do or say or the songs they write, so it also helps build a more personal connection with them.

4. Who was your first bias? I’ve answered this above but my very first bias was Hobi.

5. Who is your current bias? Taehyung.

6. Member who you think ruins your bias list? Yoongi.

7. What is your favourite BTS song? I would literally risk my life for Butterfly. I love it so much. The fact that I can feel the song’s despair when I can barely relate to the lyrics speaks a lot to me.

8. What is your favourite BTS MV? Like I’ve mentioned, my heart belongs to the I Need U music video. BST is a pretty obvious, classic answer but it’s also objectively a really wonderfully-made video, so.

9. What is your favourite BTS choreography? See above.

10. Which BTS choreography you dance to the most? I am literally incapable of staying still when I hear Dope, On, or Mic Drop. Home and Love Maze are also soooo fun to dance to as well even though they don’t really have solid choreo per se.

11. How long did it take you to learn all their names? I wanna say around a week or so? It was all very confusing at first since each of them go by several names, so that was a bitch to memorize at first. Individually speaking, Joon, Hobi, and Jimin were the most recognizable for me right off the bat, but I confused Jin for Tae and vice versa for a solid week; as for JK and Yoongi I always tended to forget their names at first hahaha. It also probably took me a week, maybe even two, to memorize the fan chant. 

12. Favourite song from the '2 COOL 4 SKOOL' album? No More Dream. Such an explosive way to debut; I wish I had been there.

14. Favourite song from the 'Skool Luv Affair' album? Has to be a tie between Skool Luv Affair and Boy In Luv.

15. Favourite song from the 'The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 1' and 'Part 2' album? HYYH 1: Love Is Not Over, but an honorable mention goes out to Hold Me Tight since my bear had a hand in writing it hehe.

HYYH 2: THIS IS HONESTLY AN INSANELY GOOD EP UGH. I’m gonna go with Butterfly just because it’s my overall favorite BTS song, but I also fuckingggggg love the inspiration behind Ma City, and the artistry behind Autumn Leaves.

16. Favourite song from the 'Wings' album? Another masterpiece of an album because all the boys put out amazing solos for this album, but as for OT7 tracks I’ll go with Blood Sweat & Tears.

17. Favourite song from the 'Love Yourself 承 ‘Her’' album? Sea, though it’s hidden. I can tell this is an older survey because it stopped at this era, so I’ll just cite my favorites for the other albums that followed haha:

LY Tear: Love Maze, Singularity LY Answer: Seesaw, Singularity MOTS Persona: Dionysus BTS World: A Brand New Day MOTS 7: UGH! BE: Blue & Grey

18. Even though you love them all, which album tracklist is your favourite? MOTS 7 didn’t have to go as hard as it ended up doing.

19. Your Top 5 BTS songs? Answered this already.

20. Member you think you share most in common with? Either Yoongi or Jimin. Yoongi’s brutal honesty resonates with me; and I think I’d get along well with Jimin’s happy-go-lucky-ness haha.

21. Member who seems the most brotherly? Jin. It’s very obvious from the way he looks out for the rest of the boys, as mischievous as he gets sometimes. The man literally raised Jungkook through high school.

22. Member with a potential acting career? Other than Taehyung who already has Hwarang under his belt, Jin.

23. 'No More Dream' MV or 'We Are Bulletproof Pt.2' MV? No More Dream. 

24. Which member would you choose to be your husband? Hahahahahahaha probably Namjoon or Yoongi.

25. Have you ever met BTS in real life? No, that’s kinda literally impossible unless I get lucky enough to get tickets for a future fanmeet.

26. Do you share a birthday with one of them? Nah. The closest birthday would be Yoongi’s, and even then his birthday is more than a month earlier than mine.

27. Who do you think you will get closest to first? Jimin or Namjoon. Jimin generally just seems super easy to get along with, while I think I’d never run out of things to talk about with Joon.

[cetaceans-pls]

Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Relationships: Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Attempted Kidnapping, Date Night at an Aquarium, Gone Terrifically Wrong, Dom/sub Undertones Series: Part 4 of Third Thursdays

A plainclothes mission at the Gotham Aquarium quickly goes off the rails when Jason and Bruce find themselves on the wrong end of a kidnapping attempt. A billion-dollar target out of the Batsuit, Bruce gets taken.

Jason comes fetch.

Happy late Lunar New Year + Valentine’s! Why do I keep forgetting to post things to my tumblr! Life’s full of mysteries!

Anyways, please enjoy the weird result of me thinking too much about aquariums and helmets that look like jackals, and have a good week  🙏

Fic also available below the cut:

Jason studiously doesn’t mess with his cuffs, tug on his necktie, or pull off his sunglasses. He hates being forced to manifest in a suit and tie; it’s a misery every single time he has to. However, knee-deep in the bowels of a pandemic that just won’t freakin’ quit, needs must. Sometimes a man’s got to cosplay as a high-tier bodyguard to fit in a date night on a Thursday, so sometimes a man will.

He fiddles with his earpiece, expression serious even though he’s really just trying to get the volume up on his audiobook. It adds to the aura of stern, scary bodyguard man, and it means that the wobbly-lipped, handsy director cuts short his long, long thank you speech to Bruce and waves them inside for their all-access tour of the Gotham Aquarium after dark. It’s a performance he and Bruce have repeated for most of a year now, and it’s the main avenue for Jason to work through his massive collection of audiobooks. Once a month or so Billionaire Fuckboy Bruce Wayne will get it into his head to book a library or a park or a zoo or a planetarium all to himself for fuck knows what, and he’ll be good and won’t break any social distancing rules or any furniture because it’s just him and his bodyguard staying through the night. Come morning the establishment will find themselves the recipients of a donation generous enough to keep their heads above water, while Brucie floats away on a cloud of expensive scotch to find his next flex.

Bruce has more money to his name than anybody ever, ever should, and these days he uses it to buy literal breathing space for much of Gotham’s public facilities struggling to stay afloat.

This is their first visit to the aquarium, because the social media intern-turned-manager here had managed to keep finances fiercely healthy by selling videos of aquarium creatures with personalised messages. Dick himself had commissioned a 30-second video of an aquarium worker whispering ‘wiggle wiggle wiggle’ into a microphone while the camera zoomed in and out from the moon jelly exhibition, and the number of Gothamites keeping their spirits up exclusively thanks to a video of a gently floating manatee quietly murmuring “You’re doing your best” is alarming.

That’s why it’s taken them a while to work their way here, but Jason has to admit he’s looking forward to a relaxing night walking around in mood lighting with B, heckling the occasional fish. Their last date night keeping Gotham’s ‘non-essential’ attractions open had been at the rec centre in the Narrows that’s been shut for months. Romance was thin on the ground there, because mid-date the Bat had taken over Bruce and decided that they owed it to the people of the city to make a few simple adjustments to improve water quality in the swimming pools.

Elbow-deep in an ancient pump and filtration system, Jason’s hand had gotten tangled in something while pulling out the filters. It had turned out to be a tangled, sopping wet mass of human hair the size of a cat, and for the first time in a while, he had wished he was dead and actually kind of meant it.

Tonight, though, promises to be smoother sailing. The aquarium’s not in dire disrepair, the staff have been instructed to keep out of their way and respect their privacy, and he has burritos and two bottles of mini-Merlot tucked in holsters that would hold guns on a lesser man. It’s perfect prep for a relaxing supper in front of the open water tank.

The director leads them in through the main entrance, still talking Bruce’s ear off while he gestures nervously around them and swipes at his thinning white hair. Jason follows after them, hand to his ear as he says a bunch of menacing gibberish into empty air. He and Bruce are incredibly dull on nights out like this, and have by Alfred’s decree been cut-off from work comms to decrease the chance of anyone on duty being rude jealous assholes. No one’s listening right now, but growling ‘Code Esper’ into his jacket has the director sweating even harder, which is the intended outcome. With a messily-babbled “Goodnight and goodbye Mister Wayne!” and an unwelcome pat on the small of Bruce’s back, the man disappears the way they came, heavy glass doors swinging shut.

Finally, the night’s starting to look better.

First thing Jason does is rip off his stupid sunglasses. It’s certainly an Expected Look for a bodyguard, but it’s 11 PM on a weekday night and on top of it being a hideous accessory, it sets his teeth on edge to have his vision obscured even while off-duty.

He also whips his tie off, because there’s a time and a place for choking and it’s not here, not yet. Jason runs his hand through his hair to break through the gel and scowls to see the black residue on his fingers. Makeup on his face, makeup in his hair, makeup pasted on to hide him in plain sight when other people get to go to Wendy’s barefaced and hand-in-hand as they pleased, urgh.

The world’s extra rough on the legally dead, even if he’s immediately mollified by Bruce sidling up to him, close enough that their hips bump and their fingers tangle.

Christ, rich man shampoo smells a whole lot different to the stuff you can get by the half-gallon in your local bodega. Jason is tempted to bite Bruce, find the closest cleaning cupboard and get up to some defilement, but it's a big aquarium and it’s a long night, so there's no rush.

The CCTV cameras aren't live, no red lights blinking, and it's supremely helpful how much privacy gets afforded to a billionaire and his potential debauchery in return for a big cheque. Jason slings an arm around Bruce's waist, because these are hard rights hard earned, and just grins at Bruce's long-suffering sigh. "Shut the hell up, this is crazy romantic. What do you want to see first?"

The answer is, inexplicably, the tropical freshwater exhibit, where they spend a solid half hour with an arapaima swimming up-down up-down a false river designed to look like the Amazon, their tiny bottles of wine in hand. Jason loses his mind first, pacing along the tank to follow the path of a fish longer than he or Bruce are tall, but within a minute Bruce is in lockstep with him as they stalk an innocent fish while they talk about not very much at all.

Bruce looks at the murkiness of the water and the cinematic dead leaves floating all over, expression gravely concerned. “They could do with a bigger aquarium.”

Jason groans, thumb absently picking at the label on his bottle. “Stop communing with the fish. It’s only barely cute when Damian gets really intense about animals, and the charm’s completely gone once you crack 6 feet.”

In his head, though, he can’t help but feel that yeah, more space for the arapaima would be nice, but hey.

Jason’s singularly terrible with small, tight spaces, so.

“C’mon,” he says, nudging Bruce so hard it’s mostly a shove. “Time to find out what sharks look like after-hours.”

“What’s normal operating hours for a shark?” Bruce asks just to be a pain, easily going where lead.

“Keep at it and I’ll shove you in the tank so you can find out.”

-

There’s a loose ceiling tile near the information counter in the main hall, right by the entrance leading to the enormous, floor-to-ceiling open water exhibit. There's a loose ceiling tile there because Jason had cased this joint a week ago, the way he checks out every place Bruce decides to take them to on nights like this, and that’s where he had decided to hide his kit. While Bruce walks from end to end of the tank, committing to pointless memory the names and traits of a hundred fish, Jason climbs up and into the ceiling to grab their party pack.

Tepid beer, pretzels, spicy chicken-flavoured chips, wet wipes. A heavy blanket, a bottle of hand sanitiser, Alfred’s cold-brew tea that could grow chest hairs on a rock. He’s even got a bottle of antacids to cover burrito-related maladies shoved into a first-aid kit so complete it could maybe, just maybe, regrow a limb. He dusts the heavy blanket off before he spreads it across the floor, where they have the best view of the most unbearably beautiful manta ray that could possibly exist.

Jason maybe preens a little when Bruce comes back from the edge and greets the spread with a bit of a smile. “Hurry it up already, dinner’s gonna get cold.”

The burritos get pulled out of their holsters as Bruce settles on the ground in the exacting, ginger manner of a man of a certain age whose knees have unfortunately passed their prime. They sit and eat while inoffensive jazz plays quietly over the speakers and fish go up and down and all around.

Ah, beats the ball of human hair by a country mile.

“This is nice,” Bruce says quietly, shrugging out of his coat and loosening his tie. There’s a sharp, bright gloss to him when he’s in Bruce-Wayne-Public-Performance mode, but Jason likes dishevelled, run-down Bruce who’s a little absent-minded and a lot human the best.

He likes this Bruce he’s earned.

“One of our better dates.” Jason holds up his bottle of beer expectantly, and feels profoundly smug when Bruce raises his to knock in a gentle toast. “Fuck, I can’t remember the last time I came to the aquarium. Must have been before.”

“Same,” Bruce says, and Jason wonders for a brief, harrowing moment if this holds true for the zoo and the planetarium and the rec centre and the public library and the-

He doesn’t get the time to linger on the thought and ponder, check to see if this is Bruce on a mission to form new memories in places that had held some from before a death in the family, because they’re interrupted by the sudden scream of a fire alarm.

They both tense where they’re sat, at the ready to fly into a fight in a suit and tie, but wherever the emergency might be it isn’t in here with them. Jason looks around, tries to catch smoke on the air, but it’s all stillness and the scent of disinfectant spray. Weird, that there’s no quiet stampede of night-time crew rushing to rescue their watery wards, no security guard sent on a quick mission by the director to save their cash cow.

Jason’s got a bad feeling about this. He gets to his feet and hauls the bag containing the first aid kit and other supplies up on his shoulder. “What the hell is going on?”

Bruce is fiddling with his phone, working through the security system of the aquarium. “All the cameras are down, so we have no visuals. The fire alarm in the deep sea exhibit was tripped manually, not by the smoke detector.” He frowns. “Carbon monoxide monitors didn’t register anything, and the sprinklers haven’t been triggered either. Could just be a fluke.”

Bruce doesn’t sound convinced, and neither is Jason. Assuming harmlessness is a great way to incur harm, and that’s something you learn damn early after starting up a vigilante lifestyle. Jason can only assume foul play of some sort, likely relating to Bruce, but there’s no way that an aquarium as big as this wouldn’t have night staff; civilians might be in danger.

Fuck, give him gross filters jammed with 27 years worth of dead skin cells over this. “I’ll go and check on the deep sea room.” If there’s no trouble, Jason’s mighty tempted to create some. “You should head back to the entrance, meet up with the sweaty director dude and evacuate. I’ll catch up with you after everything’s handled.”

Bruce looks pretty irritated to be asked to meekly make his way to safety, but pulling a Bat move right now would be incredibly bad optics. They both know his hands are tied, and Bruce sighs and climbs to his feet. “If I don’t get an update from you in fifteen minutes, I’m coming back in,” he tells Jason, crumpling the foil of his burrito and fastidiously stowing it away in the pocket of his slacks. “Comms check.”

They both tap at their discreet earpieces, and both wince at the screech of feedback when the comms activate and pair.

“Fifteen’s plenty.” Jason hikes his kit bag further up his shoulder, and pretends he’s not embarrassed when he tries to activate night vision on a mask he isn’t wearing.

“Jason,” Bruce says, calm, commanding, and quiet.

“What?”

“Be good.” It’s said like an order no one could want to refuse, but before Jason can get over his shivery shock and snap something back, Bruce is waving and disappearing out the hall, pulling on the skin of a simpler man.

Jason rubs at his neck and misses his helmet more keenly. This unbearable transparency of being; almost thirty whole ass years old and it’s astonishing how underneath it all he can still be so hideously eager to please.

“Please let there be a fucking crime,” Jason murmurs to himself, and disappears.

-

There is a crime, but it’s not even a good one.

Jason breaks into the deep sea exhibit through a utility hatch designed to access the cooling pipes for an elaborate sea sponge display. He’s quiet and mostly invisible when he surfaces in the room, and after a minute of letting his eyes adjust to the curated darkness, it’s easy to spot a man in a balaclava with a gun trained on the only door leading to the room.

He also quickly spots the terrified hostages huddled together under a display of what looked like demon jellyfish made of LEDs and blood. It’s easy to see the shape of the crime now; set off an alarm in an isolated area with only one known entrance and exit, and subdue people as they arrive. As long as the alarm kept blaring, staff would keep on coming, and by not triggering any of the smoke or carbon monoxide detectors the fire department remain clueless.

Excellent plan, great for catching anyone who hadn’t, oh, spent a solid 12 hours going through the schematics of the entire building out of an obsessive desire to create a space a Bat could relax in. Jason counts 11 hostages and just the one gunman, and tries not to groan.

There’s not much money to be had by robbing an aquarium, and judging by the degree of weaponry this isn’t some anti-aquarium demonstration organised via Facebook groups, powered by pandemic blues. No one’s liberating a shark or freeing Willy or anything nearly as fun. Ringing the alarm’s just an excellent, excellent way to control the movement of people.

There are only two ways to go; towards the fire or towards safety.

If you’re looking to net yourself a big fish, two small teams with a couple of free-roaming agents would be enough to ensure a catch rate of almost 100%. Jason highly, highly doubts that this whole song-and-dance was designed to abduct a frazzled researcher wearing a fuzzy sweater in radiant orange, or a stern-faced woman in a janitor’s uniform who looks alarmingly close to hulking out and breaking out of her bonds. He highly, highly suspects that there’s a reason outside of billionaire-envy to explain why the director of the aquarium had looked so dodgy and sweaty when he had welcomed Bruce.

Jason’s proven unfortunately right when the radio at the gunman’s hip crackles to life.

“We got Wayne.”

Of course they did. Bruce could hardly go to town and take down a bunch of armed kidnappers, especially if there are civilians near him. Jason tugs out his phone to update the Cave while the gunman grunts his reply and moves to turn off the fire alarm. Alfred asks Jason if he needs reinforcements as the guy tells the huddled terrified masses that he’ll kill them if they move, and Jason texts back a ‘no thank you’ as the goon strides out of the room, locking the door behind him.

The group of tied-up people burst into panicked chatter as soon as the gunman’s gone, and Jason uses the noise as cover for unzipping his bag and getting changed. Unlike Bruce, pulling on his second skin takes a lot longer, but once Jason tugs his red hood up and shucks off the bodyguard suit to stretch in his skin-tight armour, he feels twice the man and thrice as happy.

There’s no gun in the bag, there’s no gun anywhere near him, because it’s a self-imposed rule Jason has recently given himself for date nights. Bruce has been known to use anything from a screwdriver taped to a plank of wood to his literal bare stupid hands to pry things open in a whole-hearted effort to avoid having a crowbar anywhere in the Manor or in his life, and Jason wanted to repay like with like.

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to not have his go-to weapon, though. He sighs as he straps a taser strong enough to knock God unconscious to his thigh, and sighs again when he pulls out a sickle in its leather holster. Alfred’s gotten terribly creative with what he packs for their nights out, but who is Jason to stand in the way of a man’s artistic expression?

Fully kitted-out, hood drawn and mask glowing, Jason shoves the bag back down the hatch and vaults over the top of the aquarium he was crouched behind, landing to the wild, panicked screams of the assembled staff.

His flashy entrance is totally unnecessary, and he knows the lights on the new helmet make him look less like a human and more like an abstract cryptid with a muzzle lined in blood. It’s spectacularly dramatic, but it releases some of the tension that’s been building in his body ever since he and Bruce split up.

He holds his hands up, forgetting the sickle in his fist, and the screaming hits a crescendo any opera would be proud of. It’s a little fucking hysterical, but Jason’s on the clock right now so he can’t savour this situation as much as he would have liked. “Calm the hell down, it’s just Red Hood here to save the day.”

The screaming eases up, though a gentleman in thick glasses and a threadbare labcoat does give a good ol’ screech when he comes closer towards them with the sickle set free. Jason ignores him and crouches down to cut the janitor lady free first. She spares a second to presumably calculate the chances of her beating him in a fight before she comes to a conclusion, shrugs, and turns to immediately start picking at the knots of the person next to her. Within a couple of minutes everyone is free, and everyone is scrambling to grab at things to arm themselves with. Jason eyes the selection of brandished pens and water bottles with mild delight, and nods respectfully at his lady and her bottle of bleach off the janitor’s cart because real recognises real. He does a quick scan to make sure there are no serious injuries or emergencies, and gets to his feet.

“All right, so this is apparently an attempt to kidnap Wayne, and you guys are just collateral. They’ll be clustered towards the main entrance, so get out through the most secret employees-only door you know. Stay together and stay quiet, and it’s gonna be fine. The Bat knows what’s going on, if that makes anyone feel better.” He considers how much he does and doesn’t want to share with the people assembled, before he decides that fuck it, being a shit-stirrer is pretty fun. “Pretty sure your big boss is in on it too, so if there’s an exit that guy won’t be familiar with, use that one.”

There’s a sharp intake of communal breath, before a young woman wearing waders and rubber gloves up to her shoulders raises her hand. “Do you mean Dr. Stevens?”

Jason shrugs. “Maybe?”

“Uhm. Short, all white hair, super skinny. Looks like someone you wouldn’t trust in a lab alone with a stressed-out postdoc of any gender because he gives off the vibe of a creep with varied tastes?”

Jason frowns at what the girl is saying, and the grim looks of much of the rest of the room. “Sounds about right.”

At least three separate people hiss motherfucker under their breaths, and three more say some version of I fucking knew it. The aquarium might not have had any severe financial issues, but oh, they’ve found a mess worse than too much human hair, looks like. Jason’s keener than ever to murder this Stevens dude, but he really, really doesn’t have the time to chair a HR complaint for the aquarium right now.

“Look, whatever goes down tonight I’m gonna give a Red Hood guarantee that the guy won’t be your boss anymore. Hell, Wayne’s going to be so grateful when I rescue him that I could get him to elect a different person to be in charge of this place even if this guy isn’t in cahoots with the kidnappers. So consider it handled, okay?” He straps the sickle back at his waist. “Now get the hell out of here. I’m counting on you.”

He nods at his bleach-wielding lady, and she nods back like the truest sort of comrade-in-arms.

Reassured, Jason kicks the door down and moves the fastest anyone’s ever moved in an aquarium, a red-faced wraith on a hunt.

-

Bruce courteously gasps when a hood is thrown over his head and secured, even though he had guessed the shape of the night’s events the moment he had reached the lobby and seen the half-wobbly half-cocky look to the director’s face from across the way. “What are you doing?” he demands in a shaky voice as he puts up token resistance, enough to look panicked but not enough to tempt someone into knocking him out and hauling him away.

Far too many questions to answer as to why a loafer coasting on generational wealth has more muscle mass than your average highly-trained mercenary, after all.

He counts his steps and tries to carve little signs into the pile of the carpeting with the toe of his loafers as he’s marched off, though he doubts Jason will need this trail of breadcrumbs to find him. “Let me go!” he yells, navigating the blueprint of the aquarium in his mind. Everyone ignores him, and his captors are none-too-gentle as they force him up some metal stairs.

Forty steps from the entrance to the lobby, a right, thirty steps, a left, a quiet beep, and now stairs. My, my, my, seems like they’ll be paying Dr. Stevens’ sea slug lab a visit. It’s a good location for a quick regroup, tucked away and locked behind several layers of security. Bruce imagines they won’t be here long; a good kidnapper doesn’t keep their victim where they found them, after all.

He’s roughly shoved into a chair and tied to it, rendered immobile by cuffs on his hands and rope round his legs, but it’s a cheap office chair and there’s give in his binds. He’s immobile, but only theoretically. Bruce keeps tugging at his bonds and cursing under his breath while he hopes that Stevens doesn’t bother to ask where his bodyguard has gone, has thought the worst of Jason and assumed that he had just run off.

It would make a rescue attempt much easier, though Bruce isn’t particularly worried. It’s a kidnapping force of, oh, five? Maybe six? Carpet muffles footsteps more than wooden floorboards do, but Bruce is pretty confident of his estimate. Six at most, with at least another team responsible for the fire alarm, so a worst-case scenario of twelve. As long as his measure of their competence isn’t too wrong, Bruce doesn’t anticipate anything worse than a couple of through-and-throughs if he has to fight through this himself.

He knows he won’t have to, though.

The people around him fall silent when their radio comes to life, a panicked man shouting “There’s someone here with us! It’s the Red-” before there’s a loud bang! followed by a terrifying silence.

“Ten,” someone yells tersely back. “Come in, Ten. What the hell was that?”

There’s a general rumble of unease in the room now, and Bruce is allowed a vicious, nasty smile because no one can see him under here. At least ten people are in on this, and about half of those are in here with him while the rest are out there with Jason. He considers making an effort to tap out in Morse how many goons are with him right now, since Jason has half a dozen ways to track his location with all the kit Bruce has on him, but decides against it.

Let the boy have some fun.

“Let me go, I’ll do anything you want,” he calls out half-heartedly, but no one gives a shit because there’s another panicked broadcast by another panicked man that cuts off abruptly. The tension in the room is palpable, feels more solid than the sack on his head, and it goes frizzy with electricity when the Red Hood’s terrifying static growl comes through on the radio.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” Jason’s mangled voice croons through the line. Bruce feels goosebumps ripple up his arms, and feels oddly, hideously proud. “Two down, a few more to go. Hope you’ll put up more of a fight.”

Then there’s a sharp crack, and the line goes quiet.

“You promised me this would be just in-and-out! You said that Wayne would be out of here as soon as you got him! You didn’t say anything about a vigilante running me down in my own building!”

Ah, that’s Dr. Stevens losing his nerve. His tirade is cut short by a hard slap, it sounds like, and the voice Bruce thinks of as One is the only thing to be heard above the quiet whimpers of a panicking doctor.

“You agreed to do anything that needed to be done as long as you got a cut of the pay,” One says coldly. “Too late to get cold feet now, doctor.” There’s the sound of the walkie-talkie being turned back on. “Transport is incoming. Disappear and make your way out, regroup in safe house Gamma. It’s just one man against all of us, so don't lose your heads and we’ll get our money.”

Nobody responds verbally, probably because radio silence is golden when trying to beat a hasty retreat. Bruce feels his ropes come loose, and he’s forced to his feet as the kidnappers discuss their plans with more discretion than Stevens shooting off his mouth. He catches bits and pieces of conversation, mentions of the docks and allusions to the highest bidder, but everything goes instantly, deathly silent when the radio comes to life again.

“Three down, four down, five down. Be seeing you real soon, Mr. Wayne.”

Bruce doesn’t need to pretend to take in a shaky breath.

-

God, code names are an absolute necessity when carrying out this sort of dirty work, but Jason wants to have a sit-down with whoever decided to go with numbers for this little shindig. First man taken out and he already knows this goes at least ten fuckers deep. The leader’s figured out that yelling the number of men he has in his employ down a radio the enemy has access to isn’t a great idea, but somebody with an army of a hundred wouldn’t have been so concerned with the downing of one, so Jason’s pretty much got confirmation that this is a small-scale, quick-in quick-out kind of affair.

They’ll be looking to move Bruce, with that whole ‘transport incoming’ message. Jason’s got Bruce’s location pulled up, B’s comms actively recording vitals and transmitting its location, and from the lack of movement it’s easy to tell they’re planning a getaway through the front entrance.

He’s also happy to note that Bruce’s resting heart rate’s still at an insulting 45 beats a minute mid-kidnapping, though boy it sure did spike every time Red Hood sent out a message. Good to know, real fucking good to know.

After taking out the fifth guy, Jason doesn’t run into anybody else on his way to the main entrance, and he doesn’t particularly care if some small fry are getting away. The priority is getting Bruce to safety, and then doing clean-up on the kidnappers and Dr. Creepazoid. A showdown within the lobby is endlessly preferable to a showdown outside, if only because it’s easier to keep track of people if they can’t run away from you. Double-checking that Bruce actually is being slowly moved towards the main entrance from wherever they stashed him, Jason happily beats them to the front doors and barricades them in with him, stacking tables and chairs and cupboards into a heavy, impenetrable mess.

Sure, whoever’s coming to pick them up might be armed enough to break on through, but Jason has intimate knowledge of what mercenaries are like. Thoughts like ‘I sure as hell am not paid enough to deal with this’ are common and powerful enough to dissuade most mercs in this situation. It’s what you get when you team-build on money instead of insane, intangible things like love and loyalty, losers.

Jason looks around at the arena of his making and makes a quick decision to climb up a display case stuffed full of the toys kids can expect to see in the gift shop. It’s sturdy enough, though the thin metal frames groan a little under his weight. Jason sheathes his sickle and powers down the lights lining his helmet, lies in wait like a hungry dog in the dark as he calms his breathing and imagines what it will be like to beat the living daylights out of people who think it’s cool to disrupt a well-earned date on a much-anticipated night.

It’s another ten minutes or so before he picks up the sound of heavy feet trying to be unnaturally quiet on cheap carpet. They haven’t rounded the corner and they’re still out of sight, but with his helmet enhancing his hearing Jason’s already getting plenty of information. At least five people with heavy, careful steps, likely the assailants heavy in their armour and weapons. One set of footsteps shuffling along the carpet, all hesitance and distaste, and that’s got to be Stevens.

And in the middle of it all, walking in a weird off-kilter rhythm like a man who either has a stone in his shoe or is determined to make as distinctive a walk as possible, is Bruce. Up and walking of his own power, which is excellent. Jason doesn’t need to go into this fight concerned with keeping an unconscious Bruce safe. This is going to be an activity with full participation by all parties, hell yeah.

Speaking of participation.

Jason taps the side of his helmet and connects to Bruce’s comms. “B,” he says, low and sweet just to unsettle Bruce. “I’ve got altitude on a cabinet on the eastern wall of the entrance. I’ll see you right as you come in, and I’m gonna attack before anybody knows what’s happening. Get behind the reception desk if you can. Do you copy?”

As per the training handbook for situations when you’re too deep behind enemy lines to do much of anything, Bruce registers his acknowledgment with three sharp clicks, teeth clacking against each other in rapid succession.

Jason arches his back, loosening his muscles before he curls up again, ready to literally pounce. The footsteps are drawing closer, and they have just a few seconds before shit is going to hit the fan. He unhooks his sickle, and grins at absolutely nothing.

“Oh, and B?”

A click.

“Be good for me.”

Bruce’s heart rate spikes just as the group of men round the corner, and Jason’s laughing like a loon as the lines of his helmet burn back to life and he descends on the kidnappers, a hound out of hell.

-

There’s something primordially terrifying about seeing a fury in red and black descend on you from the sky. Bruce knows what the plan is, knows exactly how menacing a figure Jason can cut when he wants to be dramatic, but even then he couldn’t stop instinctively reaching for the handy, wicked little pocket knife in his pocket the second he saw the lines of the helmet glowing through the dark of his hood.

In the panicked yelling as Jason leaps into the fray and starts systematically annihilating a group of heavily armed men who can’t fight back without shooting each other, it’s easy for Bruce to break free of his captors and rip the sack off his head. He ducks under the flailing butt of a gun and takes a moment to shatter someone’s kneecap with the metal cuffs on his wrists before he’s rolling out of the way, belly-crawling towards the sturdy reception desk.

Dr. Stevens is yelling and trying to run away but Jason keeps plucking at him and pulling him back into the brawl with a vengeance Bruce grudgingly admires. By the time Bruce has climbed up on a chair to get a better view of the fight while staying mostly out of sight, half the men are already a groaning pile on the ground.

By the time Bruce has freed himself from his handcuffs, Stevens is an unconscious mess on the ground, and by the time Bruce has texted home and requested that Alfred call the police, it’s just Jason and One circling each other, both their faces hidden, blades in their hands.

Bruce notes with some interest that where Jason had kept his sickle sheathed and mostly used the blunt outer curve to knock people unconscious, the wicked edge is now out and gleaming as One strikes at him with a nasty Bowie knife. The hand-to-hand is quick and brutal, both of them trading hits and jabs. Whatever armour One is wearing is holding up well against Jason’s sickle, which is fair enough.

Bruce would need to get closer to know for sure, but it certainly looks like the sickle Alfred uses to carefully weed the tulip bed. No point in sharpening a gardening tool to be sharp enough to bite into flesh.

Less pleasing is how One’s knife doesn’t seem to struggle much with cutting through Jason’s costume. The new mesh Bruce had designed in response to Jason’s irritated demand for a slimmer, sleeker costume was supposed to be able to withstand most edged weapons, but even in the dark it’s easy to see where the black fabric has been cut and Jason’s skin and blood are visible instead. Trust Jason to do quality testing in the absolute worst times.

Back to the drawing board it is. One is taunting Jason, allowing Jason to swipe ineffectively at him before laughing and slashing back. “Is this all you got?” the man crows from behind his balaclava, radiating smugness. “I don’t know what I was worried about. I’ll have you and Wayne brought in for sale, and I wonder who the highest bidder will be.” Another quick jab, and Jason’s forearm is marked. “Wonder which of you Mister J would want more as a playmate.”

At that, Jason goes stock still. It’s so sudden that it clearly startles One, who retreats a little, knife up and ready to go. Bruce finds himself with his jaw clenched shut, teeth grinding so hard it’s like lockjaw in three seconds or less.

Of all the things some no-name budget kidnapper could have said. Bruce taps on his comms, opens a line to Jason, because if One keeps push push pushing like this, he won’t live to see morning.

One might not live to see the next minute, if Jason’s slow, terrifying stride towards him means anything.

“Jason,” Bruce whispers into the comm. “Jason, enough. You’ve done enough. Stop playing with your food, come here and let me check on you.”

Across the lobby, Jason once against draws to a halt, but it doesn’t stick. One figures out that actually, the Red Hood had been getting sliced up into ribbons more as a weird exploratory experience than because of a lack of skill, and he figures it out by way of Jason coming right up to him in the blink of an eye, disarming him by snapping the wrist of the hand holding the knife, and grabbing him by the throat with a grip tight enough to kill.

One is currently absolutely sure that he’s about to die.

So is Bruce, who knows that he cannot reach the man faster than Jason can snap a neck. “Jason!” he damn near bellows down the comms, damn near shouts across the room. “Enough. You come when called. You come when I call.”

And like a miracle, like the time Jason came back all those years ago and all the times Jason’s come for him ever since, it works.

One is dropped to the ground, unconscious and foaming at the mouth, and Jason’s barrelling towards Bruce.

As Bruce is swept up and back into the depths of the evacuated aquarium, he finds himself thinking we’ve had worse.

-

Jason isn’t sure why his first instinct after being called off of the murder of a singularly horrible man is to haul Bruce up and run to the deep sea exhibit, but he’s willing to admit to himself that calm only comes back to him when they’re finally buried in the quiet dark of a room of things softly bioluminescing.

He’s got no love lost for the Joker, has fought the bastard enough times since that it’s not residual fear that snapped him. Here, far far away from the wreckage, it’s easy to identify that his trigger had been superimposing the many, many horrors Jason has personally died from and lived through onto Bruce. Bruce who in many ways has the worst luck of any person he’s ever known, Bruce who would sooner rip into himself than be put into a Pit, Bruce who has to be careful with his burritos and his knees, put under the loveless purview of a madman with a crowbar.

Being protective of other people is generally a good thing, but trust Jason to wield care like a bludgeon. He scoffs, and drops Bruce unceremoniously next to the trapdoor. He could take off his helmet, no one and nothing could see him here, but the mortification of being seen out of control makes it really fucking unappealing.

Bruce sits up and looks around, acting like not a single weird thing has happened this entire night. “I’ve never seen the deep sea exhibition,” he says, like he’s having a normal conversation, like this is just the middle of a perfectly pleasant, perfectly average date.

“I saw a poster, they only built this section after I died,” Jason says dully.

Bruce hums like that’s information enough. “I’m glad we’re getting to see it then.” He tugs at Jason’s leg. “Sit.”

And Jason does, his legs folding underneath him before a thought’s even fully formed. He remembers when he was redesigning the helmet and was struggling to pick a look that was both menacing and just plain cool. The one he settled on had been one of Damian’s designs, all geometric shapes and the suggestion of creature. It had reminded him of a jackal, of Anubis, like death come in the shape of this thing with a muzzle and teeth.

Right now it feels like he’d chosen the look of a dog, a dog with the brand of bat to describe its master, and he feels like a mangy, wild thing desperate for Bruce, just for Bruce.

He takes back every mean, unkind thought he’s ever had about the date at the rec centre. Let him bury his hands into a dozen masses of gelatinous hair than force him to think about things like this, think about himself like this.

Jason’s tight with tension, but Bruce doesn’t push him to talk. Bruce doesn’t force him to do anything, just has a hand wrapped around the nape of Jason’s neck, thumb rubbing at the seam where metal helmet meets skin. They sit in this weird, tingly silence even as Alfred’s pings requesting an update become more urgent, and Jason realises that they’ll stay in this weird, tingly silence until he makes a move.

“What the fuck are we doing, B?” he says at last.

“Whatever we want to, Jaybird.” Bruce is ignoring a lot of his own damn rules about names in uniform, but he still seems remarkably unconcerned about everything. “How are you?”

Jason groans, giving up and tipping over so that he’s sprawled uncomfortably over Bruce’s legs. “Feel fucking awful. I can’t believe I’m the kind of guy that loses his shit just because some asshole said something vaguely threatening to you.”

“I think it shows good character.” Bruce rests a hand on Jason’s shoulder, the other still carefully cradling his head. “But I’m not a good judge of character, so take that with a grain of salt.”

Jason barks out a laugh at that. “You sure fucking are. I knew that director guy was skeezy the moment I saw him. Can’t believe he didn’t set off alarm bells in your head within the first thirty seconds, B.”

Bruce just shrugs. “If I reacted badly to everyone that I thought I couldn’t trust, I’d rarely get to stop.”

Well, the man’s got a point. “Still. He’s apparently shitty with staff too, so at least we’re solving a bunch of problems all at once with this night out.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Jason.”

Jason forces himself to sit back up, a little alarmed by the little note that’s appeared informing him that the police are about five minutes away from the aquarium. “That’s a damn lie and you know it.” Even the strongest of the kidnappers wasn’t anything much above average for a night out on patrol, and Bruce is nothing if not ruthlessly efficient when the fight’s in a public place.

Bruce gets to his feet, careful and ginger, and Jason can’t help but just stare at his stupid wholly-human knees. Bruce doesn’t mention it, doesn’t draw attention that renowned vigilante and crime boss the Red Hood has his head not a foot away from his legs, and just holds his hand out to him instead. “How about, I wouldn’t have enjoyed this night without you?”

Jason takes a moment to pretend to think about it, but he knows his answer. “I”ll take it.” Like he takes Bruce’s hand, like he takes things from Bruce because it’s what he wants and it’s what he’s earned. “I should get out of here before the pigs show up.”

“See you back at the Manor?” It’s only half past midnight, which means this date’s ended a good three hours earlier than their usual. Bruce looks like he’s asking only as an afterthought; of course Jason’s coming home with him.

Jason struggles to think of anything more pleasant than sitting out on their balcony in the dark with a hot drink in hand, electric blanket doggedly trying to keep them warm even as the outlet threatens to explode from the snow that’s supposed to start at 2 AM.

He also struggles to imagine how he’s going to be good company when his head is in as much disarray as it currently is. How open is Bruce to some heavy petting outdoors if Jason can’t convince himself to take his helmet off the whole time? How likely is the night to devolve into them sitting awkwardly in frigid silence until someone snaps and starts an argument just for the sake of a change of pace?

“Yeah, I’m thinking that’s not a good idea.”

That gets Bruce to stop shabbying himself up to look like an actual kidnapping victim, cuffs already locked again. “I see. Why is that?”

Jason shrugs, and is glad that his face is still unseen even if it feels like his whole damn body is letting B in on the secret. “It’s a 'feeling kinda feral' kinda day. I’m going to go blow off some steam.” Run a couple of laps around the lake in the memorial park, and if he gets close enough to hypothermia he might start forgetting the quiet kshkshh sound of delicate neck bones grinding under his hand.

He feels violence wiggling just an inch under his skin, and that’s another self-imposed rule for nights out with Bruce. Any time his grip on himself feels even a pound looser than it should be, Jason’s going to take time for himself because this deep into this relationship he’s surer than ever that there’s a hell of a lot of brutality he could let loose and Bruce would just take it and take it and take it.

Jason will not bite his mas-

He’s forcibly taken out of his thoughts by a sharp rap against his helmet. He strikes out instinctively, and catches Bruce's hand in a tight grip. “What the hell, B.”

“You weren’t responding,” Bruce tells him matter-of-factly, not pulling away. “I said, you can go and run yourself ragged. After that, you come home.”

“And why should I listen to you?”

Bruce smiles a proper smile, sharp and smug and sweet, and leans over to press a kiss to Jason’s hand wrapped around his own. “Because, Jason, I listened when you told me to keep away and keep safe. Isn’t it your turn now?”

It’s all about that give-and-take baby, and Jason just might fucking howl.

He releases Bruce in a flash, and his helmet’s unlatched and crashing to the ground not a second later. Bruce could have aikido’d him over his shoulder and flung him clear across the room because Jason’s not the most coordinated he’s ever been right now, but instead the man just widens his stance and wholly and easily accepts Jason throwing himself at Bruce face first.

It’s a maddening kiss, because Jason’s just shoved Bruce against the blood jelly tank so that he can get into position for a good grind when an alert goes off from his helmet, and Alfred’s too-loud voice calls out to tell them that “The police officers have arrived, sirs.”

Jason groans and pulls back slightly, trying to catch his breath as he digs his teeth into Bruce’s shoulder despite the three layers of expensive fabric in the way. “I hate everything,” he says, half-heartedly groping at Bruce’s chest.

“Hate it in your free time,” Bruce mutters into his hair, before choking a little because he caught a mouthful of semi-permanent dye. “On our nights, be good.”

Relationships are a contract, and Jason’s willingly agreed to these terms for, ah, close to a year now. It doesn’t mean he won’t grumble, or mess up Bruce’s perfectly styled hair just to make him grumble too. “Yeah, yeah, old man, I know what I’m about. Go and distract the cops already, I need to get away.”

Bruce lazily salutes him, looking dishevelled and mussed and suitably victimised. Jason is one damn inch away from dragging B down to the ground and reinstating his territory, god. Instead, he grabs his bag and picks up his helmet, and dawdles a little by the hatch. “You gonna be okay, old man?”

“Of course,” Bruce says confidently, ripping buttons off his coat and toeing one shoe off to look extra pathetic. “I have a hot date to keep. I’ll see you at home, Jason.”

What’s a man to do when given an order like that?

Jason obeys.

-

A/N: i’ve literally had ‘king tide come through’ listed as a title i wanted for something since last year?? it doesn’t even really mean anything i just love that the highest high tides are kings and it’s got such a nice ring to it. my approach to titling things is that it has to slap, thanks for coming to my TED talk ;9

[illfoandillfie]

i wanna read a book out loud to Ben while he goes down on me and I’d love a headcanon about it

Okay gosh this is top tier. Reminds me of that series of videos of porn stars reading sections from books while sitting on a vibrator which is…hot.

~~~

You’re reading on the couch when Ben comes home – a cheesy romance novel, the sort he’s given you (good-natured) shit for in the past but you’re brain isn’t working enough for anything more ~serious~ and plus it’s fun.

You’re just getting up to a good part, the Colonel and the heroine of the story were getting…close. 

He’d been injured while saving her from a hoard of bandits and was bed ridden while she nursed him back to health.

Classic trope but still very good and there’s so much tension because they want to consummate the relationship but alas his injury is stopping him

But they can’t possibly resist each other any longer so he manoeuvres her onto his face and -

Then Ben walks in, says your name, chuckles when it takes three tries to rouse you

“Good scene?”

You know he knows it was a dirty one by the way he’s grinning, “until you interrupted,”

“Read it to me then,”

You’re surprised but he insists he wants to know more about what you’re interested in so you agree, as long as he swears not to interrupt you with comments about word choice and how unrealistic it is

He holds his hand over his heart and swears

So you give him a quick rundown of the two characters and explain the injury as he sits on the end of the couch and then you backtrack a couple of paragraphs to the start of the scene and begin reading out loud.

You stop after a couple of sentences and check he’s still listening, but Ben gives you that I actually am interested in what you’re saying face and tells you to go on

You’re a little suspicious but you keep going

You stop again after another few sentences but this time it’s because Ben has moved, shuffled lower on the couch

Again, he makes a go on motion and you do but you stop again a second later when he reaches for your waistband

“Can you finish the scene, I’m enjoying it.”

“What are you doing?”

“Listening, I swear.”

“Is that all?”

“Are you going to read it to me or do I have to steal it later tonight and finish it myself?”

You say fine and continue to read it, trying to ignore how hot Ben’s breath is against your knee, how light his fingers are as they pull your pants down, how strong his hands are as they push your knees open.

By the time you’re back at the part where the heroine is lowering herself onto the Colonel’s face you’re stuttering and stumbling over words.

Ben’s teasing you something fierce, his fingertips tracing lines over your hips, his lips hovering just over where you’d really like him to be

You read the description of the first time the Colonel’s tongue touches the heroine’s lips and Ben imitates the movement, one long lick up to your clit, making you feel suddenly breathless.

You aren’t sure whether to keep reading or just let Ben do his thing and you sort of freeze before the next sentence, waiting for Ben to touch you again

But he doesn’t

Not until you resume your reading

And then he’s all over you, trying to match what you’re reading as best he can

When the Colonel grabs the heroine’s waist to hold her still, he adds two fingers, sliding them into you slowly, picking up speed.

You always get half a second of warning before Ben starts sucking harder, licking faster. Always the warning from the chapter but it’s never enough. He still manages to catch you off guard.

And you know Ben is absolutely loving every break in your voice, every word that gets lost in a moan, every time you have to stop to whine his name. You can feel him smile, feel the extra huff of air that means he’s chuckling to himself, pleased with what he’s doing to you.

You nearly drop the book as you near your climax but Ben stops long enough to hand it back to you, one hand still very much occupied with keeping you close to the edge, his fingers curling against you exactly how you need

For a moment you don’t think you can finish the scene, not when you’re so close to your own release, struggling to speak properly through your whines

But Ben slows his fingers, raises his head to watch you

You can see the evidence of your arousal on his lips and chin and you know he’s probably hard and all you want is for him to make you cum so you can kiss him and, if you aren’t too sensitive, ride him

But he’s waiting, watching, doing just enough to keep you at the edge but not enough to let you over

“C’mon babe, wanna know what The Colonel does next,”

It takes you a moment to find where on the page you’re up to and it’s a bit of a struggle to coherently get the words out

But as soon as you start Ben’s moving closer again, bringing his tongue back to you

He purposefully avoids touching your clit until you get to the lines where the heroine finally gets her orgasm

And then that’s all he does, sucks on your clit until you can’t possibly hold off any longer

He doesn’t mind that you drop the book for real then, both of you barely hearing the thump of it landing on the floor

All you can hear is the noises he’s making as he overwhelms you, hums against you in wordless praise, the score backed by your own moans

You miss it when he sits back, kisses the inside of your thigh and then your knee, wipes his face on his arm

You’ve still got your eyes shut

When you do finally remember how to open them he’s watching you, head leaning on his hand on the back of the couch

He chuckles and stands up, bends of to get the book and hands it to you, “You going to read me what happens next?”

[lonelypond]

Parent Trap, Ch. 8

NicoMaki, NozoEli, Love Live, 3K, 8/?

A chapter full of conversations.

And We Talk

Clack...clack, light but solid, bamboo striking bamboo, Nico sliding closer to Umi, the pace of her blows picking up, as Umi manuevered her sword to parry, easily absorbing the increasingly frantic energy Nico forced into each strike. Sensing Nico’s flagging stamina, Umi dropped to one knee, rising with a strike that forced Nico to block behind her, Umi’s blade sliding off, and Nico leaping into a overhand strike, which Umi parried and then forced Nico’s sword down.

“So are you going to tell me now why you’re paying me three times my normal rate to choreograph a fight scene for you.”

Nico stepped back, freeing her sword, then attacking again, sliding forward, dodging to the side, pushing back, but found Umi always there to calmly parry.

“It’s like a dance.” Nico struck Umi’s sword rapidly and repeatedly as she slid to the right, then pushed forward, Umi responding to each movement.

“Perhaps.” Umi held up a hand, “Let’s take a water break.”

“If you need one. Nico’s fine.”

Umi raised an eyebrow at the obvious sweat rolling down Nico’s face. Nico scowled as she swiped a forearm over her forehead. “It’s hot in here.”

“You were too hasty. I prefer to work at half speed to perfect techniques.”

“Nico needed a workout.”

Umi chuckled, “My training dummy rates are much cheaper than even my stunt choreography hourly.”

Nico grabbed her water bottle, “Ha! Nico will pay both.”

Umi watched, concerned. She didn’t know Nico that well, but something was obviously disturbing her. Nico sat on the bench, slumping forward, head hanging down, more than physical exhaustion weighting her.

“Hypothetically…” Nico began.

“Yes?”

“Let’s say you were a guy and you found out you had a child you didn’t know about.” Nico glanced up, her ruby eyes challenging Umi to flinch, but Umi remained solid. “What would you do?”

“Everything I could to help the mother.”

“Just like that.”

Umi shrugged, “If I had a child, I would have had a committed relationship with the mother of the child. If she chose not to include me at first, but then later reached out, that does nothing to change my responsibility as a parent or my affection as a…” Umi stumbled, Nico leaned forward, curious. Umi had always been almost prudish about her relationship with Kotori, “a former paramor.”

“No one night stands.”

“No.”

Nico raised her water bottle in a salute.

“Is this about Maki?”

“I thought you didn’t spend time on TWIG?”

“Kotori does.”

“Nico knew that. What does she think?”

“You never looked like you had baby weight. And she wants to design you a dress.”

“We’ll talk. And not hypothetically, like Nico’s question.”

Umi did a slow sword sequence as she considered how to continue the conversation. “What does this hypothetical guy want?”

“Romance, love, being there...the complete package. ” Nico was slumped again.

“Can’t Maki be part of the complete package?”

Nico glared. “It’s not that easy. Everything’s backwards. Nico’s backwards.”

Umi, not letting Nico look away, went through a series of movements that made Umi look like a river rolling along in its bed, graceful, surging, continuing. “Some things are just natural, Nico.”

“Not with everyone who has a phone and the TWIG app watching.”

Umi settled into ready pose. “So close the app. Step off the stage. Seize the opportunity.”

Nico had her sword in both hands, “Opportunity?”

“Yes.”

“Nico’s not sure. Last time Nico checked it was a locked door. No knocking. No open window. No welcome mat.”

“And you gave up?" Umi chuckled, "Doesn’t sound like Nico.”

“No.” Nico slid into attack position, shoulders squared. “It doesn’t.”

And the dance began.

###

Nico was showered, locked in the Ayase-Tojo spare room, and ready to get back into the conversation. Texting. Sexting. Remind Maki of the good things. The sexy things. The fun things. The Nico things.

N: Nico misses seeing your nightly pajama snaps.

M: Dia’s been throwing up all day.

So sexting out, sympathetic in. At least Maki was texting. And mentioning Dia instead of aggressively avoiding the name.

N: Can Nico help?

M: Don’t distract me while I’m trying to watch a using your washing machine tutorial. Laundry is not in the nanny’s job description.

N: You don’t know how to do laundry...it’s easy, open the lid, put the clothes in, put detergent somewhere, push a few buttons. Most laundry machines are super instructive.

M: I have to be careful. It’s Dia’s things. Mama didn’t pack enough for throwing up. And Dia threw up in the bag. She didn’t like the car ride. Or lunch.

N: Is she allergic to something? Are you keeping her hydrated?

M: I know how to take care of my daughter.

N: Right, Dr. Maki.

M: ಠಿ_ಠ

N: I’m sure the laundry will be fine. Text Nico sometime (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

M: (🖒^^)b

###

Maki had finally gotten Dia to sleep, put on some Chopin, and collapsed into the couch when there was a thud at the door. She pulled herself up by the couch arm to see Raye standing there, coat and hat on, headphones off for once, and her backpack on the floor.

“My ride’s here.” Raye announced.

“Your ride?”

“Dr. Nishikino agreed that I could take my month’s leave now.”

“What do you mean?” The panic in her own voice was grating.

Raye made a skutching noise, “I’m a live in nanny in Chicago, with a personal chef on call, not a Cheesehead hostage eating frozen pizza two meals a day.” An eyeroll and a gesture toward upstairs,”I said goodbye to Dia.”

“You can’t leave...I don’t…”

“You’ll be okay, Maki. You’re a mom. Moms know what to do.”

Was there some kind of Mom superpowers that kicked in when you were alone with your child? Maki had never been alone with Dia without someone in shouting distance. Everyone she trusted was five hours away.

###

#Nico was trending. Just #Nico, not #ThatKillerSmile. Pics of her and Umi sparring, Nico’s kiss on Umi’s cheek when she said goodbye...whoever took that had a top tier zoom lens. Influencers were reposting older pics.

Nico’s phone pinged. Tsubasa. Nico picked up.

“Hey, how’s the tour?”

“Finished. Back in Chicago. Throwing a rave Wednesday. Drop by.”

“Nico will be in bed by six. Shooting for the video the next day.”

“Too bad. You could have brought Maki and hung out with Honoka.”

“Oh, Honoka, huh?”

“Yeah, she’s great. We’re really having fun. And no pressure.”

“Good for you. But Maki’s in Wisconsin anyway. Staying away from snap crazy stalkers.”

“Oh.”

That was a tone.

“Oh?”

“That’s the other reason I called. Some PR firm offered A-Rise a lot of money to boost pics of you with anyone but Maki on TWIG.”

Nico felt her lip rise in a sneer as suspicions started to gather. “That’s why Nico’s trending.”

“Probably.”

“Do you know who?”

“I texted Cocoro their name. Turns out they represent, among other clients, the Nishikino Medical Group.”

A shrewd, calculated move. Nico was impressed. And livid. But red hot anger wouldn’t do her any good now. She needed to counter. Or ignore. But she definitely needed to make sure Maki wasn’t thinking she was out there swinging for new partners.

“Nico?”

“Sorry, Nico was thinking. Thanks for the heads up.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Cameo in That Killer Smile.”

“You got it. Just not too early in the day. But think about coming to the party. You need some fun too.”

“Maybe Nico will take a nap.”

“Not much else to do with Maki in Wisconsin. Bet you have some good visuals though.” Tsubaba's tone was a conspiracy invitation.

Nico's reply was curt. “We’re done.”

Tsubasa laughed as the call cut.

One, disrespectful. Two, Nico didn’t need to be reminded of how Maki blew everyone else off the hot curve. Nico had to scheme.

###

Lilo and Stitch for the fifth time that day. Maki was about to claw off her ears.

“NICO!”

The Nico cries had stopped until this last viewing. Maki could see Dia was getting tired and cranky. Maki was also getting tired and cranky. Maki checked the time. One a.m. She should have never let Nico get into the habit of singing Dia a lullaby over the phone.

“SING!”

“Nico’s asleep, bun.”

Dia jumped off the couch and raced to the door, “Nico!”

Repetitive firmness was a necessity with Dia. Never retreat from a decision. “It’s time for sleeping, Dia. Nico’s asleep. You should be asleep. Mama is tired.” Talking about herself in the third person. Sure sign of exhaustion. “C’mon, Dia, let’s get your pajamas on and put you in bed.”

“Tsuki!”

Tsuki had fallen behind the couch, Maki picked her up, and Dia ran to grab her, then screamed “Nico Nico Ni!” right in Maki’s face. It took all of Maki’s remaining self control not to react to the volume. She picked up Dia, did a quick visual check of Dia's clothes to make sure there weren’t any closures that might interfere with sleep, grabbed her laptop with her other hand, and marched upstairs. She put Dia down gently, taking extra care not to let her frustration turn into excess energy that would unsettle Dia further.

“Nico!” The demands were getting weaker, Dia would sleep soon if she didn’t kick into tantrum gear.

“We’re going to call her, bun. Just let Mama set this up.”

Maki flipped up her laptop, moved the EFF.org sticker, hit video call. Nico sounded sleepy and had some kind of green goop on her face. Maki just stared for a minute. Nico did the weirdest, cutest things.

“Maki? What’s wrong?”

Maki woke up from her imagining what it would be like to spend the night in Nico's arms, what the green goop would smell like. Avocado probably. “Sing to Dia.”

“What? Did something happened?” Wide awake Nico.

Maki could hear Dia pulling herself up on the crib rail, “NICO!”

“Hi Dia.” Nico waved.

“Look, just sing, make sure she doesn’t fall out of the crib, and text me if she’s not settling down.” Maki let her face relax, knowing she looked exhausted, “I just need a few minutes.”

“Okay, Nico’s on it”

Maki remembered the earlier part of the day. “No Elvis.”

“What?” Nico shook her head, sitting up, setting her phone on her nightstand, “Never mind, just text Nico sometime.”

“Okay.”

“Nico’s got this. Get some air.”

“Thank you.”

“Thanks for calling Nico. I missed seeing your face. Now go look at some stars.” Nico smiled. “Hi Dia. Your pretty mama is going to go look at stars and Nico’s going to teach you her new song.”

“Sing!”

“That’s right. You’re Nico’s first audience. So pay attention.”

Dia had settled back down. Maki put the laptop at a level where Dia could see Nico through the crib bars and as Nico started singing, backed quietly out of the room.

###

Stars. Inhale. Cold air. No sense of time passing. Maki half dozing, maybe actually asleep for an hour or two. Nico was keeping an eye on Dia. That was a calming thought. Was that good? Maki realized she only had vague panic flashes of her last IRL encounter with Nico, Eli calling and saying something about Nozomi and paperwork and then fear kicking in. Maki didn’t have the mental bandwidth for any news that might trigger another explosion of emotion so talking to Eli was going to have to be another day thing. She reached into her pocket for her phone, to check notifications. A message from her mother, probably about Raye; Eli, not going to deal with that now; and Honoka. Maki hit play.

“Hey, Maki! Tsubasa’s throwing a huge party and invited you and Nico. So you should really come. It’ll be so much fun. Tsubasa’s gonna have a private karaoke room, and an entire arcade and the best DJ in the world. We gotta hang out.”

Party? Why hadn’t Nico mentioned it? Maki flicked over to TWIG, searching #NICO...Nico kissing Umi on the cheek, Nico with her arms around a group of scantily dressed women, Nico at a concert, leaning down into the crowd, Nico writing her phone number on a barista’s stomach…

Maki hit call, “What the hell are you doing?’

Nico sounded sleepy. “Maki?!!?!”

“Yes, Maki, your girlfriend, not that that barista would know that when she called you.”

“What barista? Maki, what’s going on? I just got Dia to sleep. She’s so cute.”

“We got invited to a party and you didn’t tell me.”

“DId Tsubasa call you?” Nico’s question was sharp.

“No, Honoka.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind. Tsubasa and Nico have different opinions on dating.”

“Does yours include giving random women your phone number. And why are you kissing Umi?”

“Slow down. Let Nico catch up.” A pause, “Dia’s still sleeping calmly. Nico does an excellent lullaby. Now what did you do?”

“Searched TWIG to see what you were up to.” Saying it out loud, Maki felt a bit sheepish.

“Cyber stalking Nico. Classy.” Nico hummed, obviously searching through pics. “The Umi kiss was friendly, the barista pic is Photoshopped, and Nico is at home in bed and has been since 7 p.m. getting her beauty sleep before a video shoot at 5 in the morning.” An inhale, “And why you’re seeing pics of Nico with everyone else in the universe is because your parents PR firm is paying influencers to flood the algorithim with pics of Nico and anyone but you.”

“They’re not.”

“They are. A-Rise got approached. Nico has receipts. I can forward you emails.”

Maki was silent.

“And the reason there aren’t pics of us is because you’re in Wisconsin at an undisclosed location because your parents think Nico is going to steal you.”

“I don’t care what my parents think.” Maki felt pressured, with a sudden urge to bolt for the woods.

“If that’s true then why are you in Wisconsin?” Nico sounded annoyed.

“Just shut up for a minute…”

Silence. Maki heard what she’d snapped at Nico echo.

“Good night, Maki.”

“Wait, Nico, I just…”

Call ended. Maki leaned forward, fingertips barely clinging to her phone. How did this work? How exactly did this happen? What had Eli said?

###

“Oh, hi, Maki…” Eli was on the couch, eating chocolate ice cream and watching a production of Swan Lake.

“Why did you call?”

“What did Nico tell you?”

“We're not talking about Nico, Eli.” Maki’s voice had no chill. “Paperwork. Nozomi. What did that mean?”

“Ummm…” No matter how much Eli had rehearsed this in her head, telling Maki was not easy. She glanced toward the door of the spare room. Nico had gone to bed hours ago because of an early set call. So no interruptions. “When I started working on the procedures, Nico was the first person I asked to help. Nico’s always the first person I ask when I need any kind of help. She’s amazing.”

Eli had expected some response from Maki, but no, just waiting, judging silence.

“Okay…” Eli coughed nervously, "So Nico donated eggs, but absolutely refused to be an anonymous donor. She wanted a family but not until she met someone she wanted to marry and was ready to stop touring as much as she had been. So I banked most of her eggs and used the rest in my early tests.”

“So Nico wasn’t just an anonymous donor?”

“No.” Eli laughed, “She was very clear about no little Nico’s running around without her knowing about it. She’s furious right now.”

Maki sounded angry. “How did it happen? Did it happen? Is Nico really Dia’s...”

Eli paused Swan Lake, and headed to the freezer to put the ice cream away. Melting chocolate all over the couch was too easy a tease target for Nozomi. “As far as I can unravel, when Nico came back for her ultrasound to make sure everything was okay after the donation, Nozomi was there and altered Nico’s paperwork. So Nico was in the system all the time, but you were the first and only to match.” Eli pondered whether or not making a pot of coffee would be worth it at this hour. She wasn’t sleeping. Not having Nozomi next to her was lonely. But Nozomi was still being infuriatingly disingenuous about the turmoil she’d thrown Nico and Maki and Dia into. “I’ve taken Nico off the donor list now that I know.”

“So it is true…” Maki’s voice was a low whisper, barely heard.

“I’m so sorry about this, Maki, but from what I can tell, Nico is your egg donor.”

And then the roar, “Why would Nozomi do that to Nico? To you? What the hell kind of friend alters your medical paperwork? What kind of wife...how can you...that’s so many kinds of illegal, unethical, just awful, Eli. Why would she do that?"

Eli winced. All of that was true. But she knew that Nozomi really believed she’d had Nico’s best interest at heart.

“I know, Maki. I’m trying to explain it to her, how I would feel if I had missed the twins’ first steps or when they said “Mama”...it’s still so amazing, Maki, to watch them be their own people, but you know that, and Nico missed so much of that with Dia and I’m heartbroken for her, I just can’t bear to think about it, but Nozomi really cares, I promise…”

Maki cut Eli off, voice in efficiency professional mode. “Is Nico okay?”

“I don’t know. She’s super busy. Super busy usually means stressed.” Eli rested her forehead on the refrigerator, “Are you okay?”

Maki made a huffing noise. “I have to go check on Dia.”

“Maki....”

And Eli was alone. Or maybe not.

“Better make that coffee, Eli-chi.” Eli turned, Nozomi stood in the archway, Eli’s robe wrapped around her. “I miss you. I haven’t been listening to what you've been trying to say. Help me fix this, my love.”

Eli was going to cry, Nozomi opened up her arms, and Eli rushed to be held, Nozomi’s fingers in her hair, Nozomi’s sweet, soft voice promising everything would work out.

A/N: Shakespeare season. How you?

[roguish-gallery]

Did you ever make that joker tier list, I always like seeing what people think of all the different ones. Though if they put Romero last I can no longer respect them.

LMAO I DID! I think I’ve made it kind of obvious in this blog but I... don’t... particularly... care... for... the joker.... unless he’s, y’know, fun to watch. Cause he’s a clown, and clowns are supposed to be entertaining. But since you politely brought it up, and and because I have a deep respect for mutual Romero-lovers, I guess this would be a good time to explain my rankings and just discuss my general thoughts on each clown:

General Thoughts:

For the most part, I don’t really care for the Joker. This is hardly an uncommon opinion here on tumblr, but I definitely fall on the side of the fandom that feels that he gets too much attention from DC. I get WHY they use him so often for films and comics, and I don’t have anything against *most* folks who consider them their favorite Batman villain, but at this point he’s used more for shock value and as a crutch instead of anything interesting. Like, instead of giving attention to the other Rogues, writers (at least for the comics) will try and make up some bullshit story that they can shoehorn the Joker into, ‘cause it sells. It’s tiring, and I feel like the character has lost his meaning; I can only read so many stories about the Joker, I don’t fucking know, wearing a suit made from dead babies and Jason Todd’s flayed corpse before I get sick of it.

I’m at the point where I’ll like any Joker who’s just fun to watch. I genuinely respect those who prefer darker interpretations of the character, but that isn’t me; I vastly prefer the lighthearted takes on him, because... at this point... writers who use the “cleaner” version of him tend to be more creative, since they actually have to write a Joker story that doesn’t rely on gore/torture porn.

TIER ONE:

Joker Baby: Self explanatory. Joker Baby is thematic, thoughtful, and intense. Everytime I watch this video, I shiver with fear and pleasure; something primal in me awakens whenever Joker Baby runs his fingers through his spray-on dyed hair, and ends up smearing green paint on his forehead- it represents the inner turmoil, the chaos, that resides within the disturbed body that is Joker Baby. Nothing can ever hope to top the artistic and cultural impact Joker Baby has had on society.

TIER TWO:

Batman Ninja: I genuinely believe that Batman Ninja is one of the most fun, organic, and creative things to come out from the Batman side of DC comics in like... hmmm... a decade, maybe (I could talk for hours about how much I love this movie but that’s something for a future post). This Joker is easily, and unironically my favorite interpretation of the character, period. I love his energy, his design, everything. This is the most fun I’ve ever had watching a Joker on-screen, and for that I’ve gotta give the film credit where it is due.

Batman ‘66: I looooove Caesar Romero. Batman ‘66 in general is one of my favorite pieces of Batman media, and I absolutely adore this Joker. The show is pure, genuine fun, and it’s nice to turn my brain off and watch a show where the entire cast was allowed to goof around. This Joker is just a cute, goofy little clown-man who likes to commit crimes, go surfing, turn Gotham’s water reserve into gelatin, and have wild orgies with Penguin, Catwoman, and the Riddler. I massively appreciate the hustle. I love his little mustache and his facial expressions. I’d give him a chaste little kiss on the cheek if I could.

The Batman: EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL TAKE BUT. I think TB!Joker is better than what people will give him credit for. I can only imagine how stressful it must have been to be the first Batman cartoon to follow BTAS and the writers for this show knew they were gonna be fucked no matter what they did with the Joker, so they just decided to try something completely different with him. Personally, I appreciate the new direction- he has a fun, unhinged energy. I’ve placed him higher than BTAS/BTNA!Joker simply because The Batman was the show that got me into the Rogues in the first place, and I’m just a bit closer to this Joker because of it. Also his vampire form was cool as FUCK in Batman Vs. Dracula and the scene where he gets drenched in blood at a blood bank is fucking awesome.

Batman the Animated Series/The New Adventures: Everyone loves BTAS’s Joker, and I’m no exception. Mark Hamill is fucking great, and the writers clearly knew the character well enough to create a version of him that can be fun and threatening. As an aside, I unironically like his redesign in BTNA- I remember Hamill mentioning somewhere that he thought it was neat that this Joker looked more like a shark (I’ll see if I can find a source on that... I think he said it in an interview with Kevin Smith?) and I kinda agree with him. the redesigns in the final season are hit or miss, but I didn’t get why so many people bitched about the Joker’s new look.

Batman Unlimited: Hear me out... Hear me out... Clown... funny... and cute... He wears a little crown and gives Solomon Grundy a little smooch on the cheek and it is as delightful as it sounds. Yes the Batman Unlimited films literally only exist to sell toys but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy them on some ironic level.

TIER THREE:

Lego Batman: He’s a gay icon. He has the range. Enough said.

White Knight: This is just a genuinely good, original take on the character, and the art in White Knight is absolutely gorgeous. 

Arkham: My friends and I joke that this Joker is basically a more unhinged version of BTAS! Joker and... yeah. I’m glad Hamill and Paul Dini got to fuck around with the character more, but I never really dwelled on the Joker parts of the games like I might have for other characters. I definitely liked him the most in Arkham Asylum, as he was more fun to watch. Arkham City was fiiiiine, but I think I replayed the game so much that I kinda got fatigued with everything about it. Genuinely hated his part in Origins, and I was pissed that he stole the attention from Black Mask and Bane (who’s the best fucking part of Origins IMO). I’ll admit that I... Haven’t... played... Knight yet (I have it on PC but my laptop is too wimpy to run it) but like... He’s dead at that point, so I’d assume he isn’t the main point of that game anyway. I love Mark Hamill and the fact I can personally beat the shit out of this Joker, so he’s ranked up pretty high for those reasons.

TIER FOUR:

Batman ‘89: TBH this Joker should be a rank higher, but I’m too lazy to hop onto PicsArt to change it. NIcholson was an excellent choice, and I apprecaite how this Joker makes use of the playful and unhinged aspects of the character. Also, his outfits are cute, and I love the museum scene.

Brave and the Bold: Technically this Joker SHOULD be ranked higher since he’s literally based on the more lighthearted comics in the 60′s but... ehhh... I haven’t really watched BATB so I don’t have any strong opinions on the show and how it handles the character. he’s ranked this high through beause I appreciate what they were going for.

Golden Age: The quality of comics are always subjective, based on the creative team behind them. Some I’ll like more, others less so, It’s kind of hard to rank the pre-52 comic version of the Joker because of this.

TIER FIVE:

Killing Joke: Read it, didn’t care for it. I acknowledge how massive the impact this comic had on... everything, but just because I recognize how important this graphic novel is, doesn’t mean I have to like it.

The Dark Knight: Ledger did an excellent job with the role, but uhh... I’m kind of sick of the alt-right chuds who are out there sucking this Joker’s dick. The fanbase definitely ruined the character for me.

TIER SIX:

99′: Eh

Endgame: No

Suicide Squad: NO

Death of the Family: Hate him. Despise him. Lame stupid dumb little edgy bitch.

Gotham (Jeremiah): I don’t particulary care for Gotham in general, but the only reason I ranked this Joker over Jerome is beause I thought it was kinda funny to see that they made him a little rat-man, and I liked watching all the fujoshi on here cry and complain that they can’t ship this version of the joker with the pre-pubescent Bruce Wayne in the show bc he’s too ugly.

Gotham (Jerome): stop shippping this freak (who is fucking eighteen years old) with a literal twelve year old child. what the FUCK is wrong with yall.

UNRANKED:

The Joker (2019): I don’t plan on watching this film, nor will I ever. I know this is ironic, coming from someone who runs a Rogue blog, but stuff that focuses primarily on a character’s deteriorating mental health makes me reaaaaallllllyyyyy anxious (it’s kind of a phobia) and considering that I don’t particularly the Joker, I have no reason to watch something I know will only give my dumb ADHD-ass intrusive throughts.

[ckret2]

So I've been deeply pulled into the Radiosnake pairing bc of your fantastic writing! Problem is, now I have fic ideas but no knowledge of the Hazbin background. Can you tellI me where I can get more Hazbin info? I've only watched the pilot and read your stuff. I heard there were comics??

That is an excellent question anon, because right now it is really hard to get Hazbin background easily.

Okay, so, the canon info on Hazbin Hotel can be sort of sorted into four tiers, from most to least canon.

Tier 1: The Definitely Canon

There is, of course, the pilot. And then there is an Angel Dust prequel comic, only seven pages of which have been released so far. We’ve been told it’s gonna be finished and we’ve had glimpses of in-progress prequel comics for a couple other characters—most prominently Alastor’s and Charlie’s—but so far that unfinished Angel Dust comic is the only one that’s been officially released.

Finding the in-progress comic pages is... a challenge. Nobody, as far as I can tell, has been specifically collecting all of the pages we’ve seen so far. I was able to scrounge up:

Couple more Angel pages

some Alastor pages

another Alastor page

a random Alastor panel

another random Alastor panel—I’ve seen the full page of this before, Alastor goes “Hello ladies!” and they go “HELLO ALASTOR~<3″ but I can’t find the full page now

There’s a smattering more canon panels on the artist faustisse’s twitter, but I haven’t dug them all out, and some of the posts I’m gonna link in a lil bit have a glimpse of another panel.

If you haven’t already heard of Helluva Boss, I recommend looking into it as well. It’s a second series being created by the same folks, different cast of characters but set in the same version of Hell, so any canon details we learn in Helluva also apply to Hazbin.

Helluva’s pilot is here. Plus a cute music video here.

Earlier this month, during a BLM charity stream hosted by show artist Ashley Nichols—she runs regular streams under the title “HuniCast”—they released a few sneak peaks of future Helluva scenes, all compiled here.

And that’s it for canon. Two pilots, a music video, a smattering of future scenes, part of one comic, a few WIP pages/panels from other comics.

Tier 2: Pseudo-Canon

Everything else we currently know about Hazbin (and Helluva) are things that the creators have told us. Consequently, they’re all pseudo-canon—and likely subject to change in the future as the shows and comics are further developed and released. Some details that were released/described in the past have been contradicted at other times, or else radically changed by the time the pilot came out.

(For example, when Alastor was first created years and years ago as an OC with no plans for Hazbin, he was a demon deer who could shapeshift into a human shape—now he’s a demonized human with a few deer traits. And Charlie and Cherri Bomb used to look very different.)

So until and unless they make it into canon, all these pseudo-canon details are subject to change and should be taken with a grain of salt—but, they also comprise most of what we know about the characters’ backstory and the as-yet-unaired characters.

Pseudo-canon info on Hazbin is scattered mainly between two sources: the creators’ twitter accounts, and livestreams where they take questions and talk about the making of the show. If you and livestreams do not get along (my ADHD and livestreams do not get along), or if you don’t want to wade years and years back into twitter accounts to dig up every scrap of info on the characters the creators have ever mentioned, collating all the pseudo-canon info is gonna be hard. (It’s gonna be hard even if you do want to sit through the streams and dig through all their tweets.) Lots of fans, me included, depend on the absolutely heroic work of various fans who are willing and able to watch hours-long streams and collate a list of canon factoids released during the streams. I’ve reblogged as many of these posts as I’ve been able to find:

Alastor’s sound design (on twitter)

Alastor's Sound Design (post I made with screenshots of weird—but very interesting—subtitles slipped into the aforementioned video)

Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb’s sound design

Niffty and Husk’s sound design

Charlie, Katie, and Tom’s sound design

Intro song’s sound design

Happy Hotel’s sound design

details from Faustisse (including a pic of a couple costume designs. Most of these posts come from zatyrlucy, who’s been doing a fantastic job of going stream-by-stream to get lists of details from the regular streams by Ashley Nichols and by comic artist Faustisse.)

more details from Faustisse (including a pic of the Von Eldritch family dining room)

Faustisse 3 (better look at that table)

Dollymoon’s Hazbin Hotel Facts - PART ONE (Shoutout again to dollymoon for compiling these, we’ve never spoken but I am eternally grateful for this service. Dollymoon’s posts are THE single most reliable compilation of Hazbin Hotel’s nebulous pseudo-canon facts that I have found to date, including both links to the sources and timestamps where applicable. Dollymoon’s URL has changed since making this post so the “read more” link doesn’t work but the “source” or “reblogged from” links direct correctly to the new blog. Incidentally, the risk of other blog creators deleting their blogs/posts or changing their URLs is why in info posts like these, I always link to my own reblogs rather than their original posts—their original posts might vanish without warning, but I know I ain’t gonna delete my posts, so these links will still work in the future.)

Hazbin Hotel Facts - PART TWO

Hazbin Hotel Facts - PART THREE

Faustisse 4

HuniCast - Australian Wildlife Relief charity stream

I think this was a faustisse stream (the original source deleted these posts, so the comic pages that were originally behind that read more cut are now gone.)

Faustisse stream 6?

And those are all the masterposts of factoids I’ve managed to collect. If anyone has more masterposts, chuck ‘em at me.

Even this isn’t all the knowledge that’s been released about the show. The posts that dig the farthest back are Dollymoon’s, and even they don’t comprehensively cover all of Hazbin’s production. A couple of these characters, Vivziepop created as a teenager, so there’s some truly ancient concept art floating around out there that will have details that probably aren’t canon anymore... but might still be until something happens to actively contradict them.

Tier 3: The Wiki

The wiki is kind of an absolute mess. It’s a chaotic blend of things actually seen in the pilots/comic, things mentioned at some point in some stream somewhere, and wild fan speculation based on what they headcanon as plausible based on the above, all mixed together with very little indication for which is canon, pseudo-canon, fanon, or speculation. Most of the statements on the wiki don’t have citations.

(And, on top of that, half the main characters’ info gets split up into separate tabs instead of just having a normal-ass wiki page, AND their image galleries are on COMPLETELY SEPARATE pages that are linked to in one of the tabs, and the most important characters all have TWO SEPARATE GALLERIES. Which doesn’t have anything to do with the quality of the facts hidden underneath those tabs, but nevertheless drives me up the wall.)

Some things on the wiki were added according to info released so long ago it’s probably changed by now. Some are possibilities that got reported as facts. Other things on the wiki have unambiguously changed, or else are just flat-out incorrect. (For instance, at this moment Alastor’s page still lists him as an overlord, even though it's been confirmed that Alastor is not an overlord despite his power level because he isn’t interested in and didn’t pursue that position, per this stream. For a little bit, somebody’s fanart of their headcanon human Alastor got added to the wiki as concept art.)

tl;dr: the wiki should never be trusted as a primary source. The wiki’s better than it used to be. Even so, at this time, it’s only trustworthy to fill in the gaps of what you already know is true from other, better sources.

The thing it’s good at is it more or less compiles all the known info all in one place. Trying to figure out who the hell this Vox guy is is really hard if you’re reading for mentions of him in compilations of a dozen different streams, much less if you’re trying to comb through those dozen streams yourself, plus a dozen more, plus three different artists’ twitters. In comparison, it’s really easy to, say, just go look at Vox’s wiki page, where all the trivia is compiled. (And Vox’s page is actually one of the better cited on the wiki. Look at all those numbers!)

So, if you need to find out who this character is you’ve never heard of before, if you want to see a full list of the thus far named characters, if you don’t remember whether Alastor likes coffee or tea, if you want to know what Angel’s twin sister looks like, if you need a reminder of Sir Pentious’s death year... check the wiki. It’s an okay starting point.

But, if you see a “fact” on the wiki that you yourself don’t remember from straight out of the pilot, and it doesn’t have a citation that links to a tweet or a stream... regard it suspiciously. And do not trust it unquestioningly as fact until and unless you have seen the source.

Tier 4: Noncanon Creator Shitposting

I’ve mentioned Ashley’s HuniCast streams a couple times. The biggest draw of them is that she usually gets several of the voice actors in the streams, where they’ll happily say nonsense in their character voices. For the most part, they’re not sharing any actual canon info they’ve been given on their characters, just goofing around pretending to be their characters. Nevertheless, a lot of the things that happen in streams get accepted as broad fandom headcanons, like Alastor being into dad jokes. (My favorite, for obvious reasons, is this one.)

It’s easy to find the source audio for all this wonderful nonsense by searching youtube for “HuniCast highlights,” and then rummaging around for animatics people make out of the audio. The only one noncanon video of this sort I can think of that didn’t originally come from HuniCast is a lone one from Alastor’s singing voice (who’s a different voice actor than his speaking voice).

So, obviously, none of these are canon. But they do come from some of the people actually involved in the creation of the show, and they are in the characters’ canon voices, so a whole lot of people treat them as semi-canon anyway. (Even the wiki lists “dad jokes” among Alastor’s likes, which to my knowledge hasn’t come up anywhere except for HuniCast streams.) Since they’re so broadly-known, they’re worth knowing about as important sources of fanon, even if you don’t want to adopt them into your own headcanons. They’re basically the same level of canon as blooper reels.

[aion-rsa]

Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl Ignites Debate Over Most Powerful Nick Character

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

IGN has revealed that developers Ludosity and Fair Play Labs have secretly been working on Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl: a Super Smash Bros.-style fighting game starring some of Nickelodeon’s best characters.

This is obviously big news for Nickelodeon fans everywhere, as well as those who have been craving a Smash Bros.-like experience and don’t own a Switch, so it’s hardly a surprise that this reveal quickly inspired many of those fans to start a surprisingly heated debate over who the most powerful Nickelodeon character is and who will emerge from this upcoming brawl as the undisputed champion.

While Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl‘s full roster hasn’t been revealed quite yet, here’s a brief list of the playable characters that have been confirmed so far:

Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) Nigel Thornberry (The Wild Thornberrys) Powdered Toast Man (Ren & Stimpy) SpongeBob SquarePants (SpongeBob SquarePants) Sandy Cheeks (SpongeBob SquarePants) Patrick Star (SpongeBob SquarePants) Oblina (Aaahh!!! Real Monsters) Lucy Loud (The Loud House) Lincoln Loud (The Loud House) Helga (Hey Arnold!) Reptar (Rugrats) Zim (Invader Zim) Danny Phantom (Danny Phantom)

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

So…who you got? That’s the question that’s dividing the internet at the moment, though it’s hardly a surprise that the first-round draft largely consists of the most conventionally powerful Nickelodeon characters. Reptar, for instance, seems to be a popular choice at the moment by virtue of being basically Godzilla. In fact, at least one fan thinks they may have already spotted the move that will put Reptar over the top.

Look at this half screen disjointed projectile kill move See my Reptar like you see an upcoming trolley problem pic.twitter.com/UPJlgVU19o

— MiniMatt (@MiniMatt_) July 13, 2021

Nickelodeon’s resident superhero, Danny Phantom, is another one of the more obvious choices at the moment. He is, after all, objectively one of the most powerful characters currently in the game (if we’re going off of inherent abilities), and some believe they’ll be able to use Phantom’s powers to bring some Dragon Ball FighterZ-style absurdity to unprepared Lucy Loud mains everywhere.

I can’t wait have a whole anime long episode combo video with Danny phantom https://t.co/AiMyXlcobL

— Jo💫 (@J0Spittn) July 13, 2021

Powdered Toast Man has certainly captured the attention of a certain group of Nickelodeon fans who fondly remember this somewhat obscure character from his Ren & Stimpy days. While nobody is entirely sure what their (or any other character’s) moveset will look like, the surprisingly popular theory at the moment is that they’ll eventually resemble one of Smash Bros.‘s most consistently dominant fighters.

Why do I feel like Powdered Toast Man is going to be the Captain Falcon of this game https://t.co/U1uJi5xxDC

— GnoWolfStyx ✏️🎭 (@GnoWolfStyx) July 13, 2021

Michelangelo, Leonardo, and Zim are all also securing high-ranking spots on hypothetical tier lists, but what’s most surprising at the moment is how many people seem to think that Nigel Thornberry is actually the one character who will eventually rule them all.

Squidward mains after miss-inputting a laggy f-smash instead of a quick f-tilt allowing Nigel Thornberry to wavedash grab downthrow up smash punish him https://t.co/Y31JLtgNbk pic.twitter.com/BsbV3lX28t

— RedTheSmolKitsune (@VerySmolKitsune) July 13, 2021

imagine getting 3-stocked by nigel thornberry https://t.co/AYLLcGARu0

— manny (@mannyfidel) July 13, 2021

CatDog is also getting a lot of love, which is particularly surprising given that they’ve never been portrayed as being especially powerful in their show and are not even confirmed to be in the game at this time.

when my opponent takes game 1 but i swap to catdog pic.twitter.com/sxMR1Cbuj6

— ramen noodles (@IAmLoMeinNow) July 13, 2021

Of course, as long as we’re talking about unconfirmed characters who could potentially dominate this game, we’ve got to talk about Avatar: The Last Airbender‘s Aang: a top-tier candidate for the most potentially powerful fighter from a pure lore perspective.

Y’all about to catch these hands once Aang is revealed. https://t.co/AteiNDmVa7

— EquinoxDoodles (@equinoxdoodles) July 13, 2021

We already know Aang gonna be busted in the nickelodeon game once he drops Y’all not ready for the Avatar State final smash pic.twitter.com/w2HnC7NW0f

— Nick (@TCNick3) July 13, 2021

Whoever you side with in this debate, it’s nice to see the internet come together to celebrate something despite the fact that we all know the most broken character in the final game will probably end up being Rocko from Rocko’s Modern Life or possibly Jimmy Neutron‘s Sheen.

Of course, we’ll all be able to actually settle this debate on the digital streets of Bikini Bottom when Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl is released later in 2021 for Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X.

The post Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl Ignites Debate Over Most Powerful Nick Character appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3yW8mxI

[coeursetcolores]

What I Would Add/Change About: Dead or Alive 6

Hello internet! As you probably know, I love video games and I would talk about my feelings for the ones I’ve played for hours. Unfortunately, I don’t pay too much attention to the various gameplay and added content mechanics, so I don’t feel as though I’m qualified to give full-on reviews; my focus is usually on the story and characters, but I am learning to keep a more open eye. So, I’ve decided to start this series! On the anniversary of a game I’ve played’s release, I will talk about what I think a game could have included to improve certain elements or what I think they should have just changed all together about something in it. I will make sure to include what I liked about it as well to keep these from getting too negative. 

This is all just my own personal opinion and if you disagree with me, that’s perfectly okay! If you’d like to talk about a point I made, please let me know, but please try to respect my opinion as I respect yours.

Fair warning, I won’t talk about online stuff. I’m not an online gamer, that’s just not me.

Well, with out further ado, let’s get started!

Today is March 1st. Two years ago in 2019, Dead or Alive 6 was released. Bet you guys didn’t know I was fan, did you?

Yes. Yes I am. And there is one thing I love more than that entire series all together.

Kasumi.

I love that woman.

I have yet to see any other woman that I would even consider loving as much as her.

Amazing main, best girl, gripping protagonist, top-tier waifu.

But back to the subject!

Almost seven years since Dead or Alive 5 was released and left it’s audience wanting more, today we ask: Did it live up to seven years of expectations?

For me...

YES! 

...Mostly.

I had a real fun time playing when I could (I didn’t have constant access to the console I played it on, don’t ask) but even with how polished the series has gotten, there were a few things that left a sour taste in my mouth. 

Let’s go over them, shall we?

SPOILERS AHEAD!

To keep a positive spin on this criticism, I’m going to talk first about all the things I absolutely LOVED about the game:

IT’S. STUNNING. The graphics look amazing, and the slow-motion and visible injuries along with DOA5′s sweat and dirt gives the fights such a weight, it’s brutally gorgeous and I love that video games have reached that level of detail. 

Voice acting is good, and I’d have to give best performance to Karen Strassman’s Helena just for her after fight in Kokoro’s story mode because. My gosh. The way she begs Kokoro not to leave her is just heartbreaking, and to do all that while doing an accent is just amazing.

Funniest part of the game was definitely when Zack told Tina she couldn’t be governor. I love how he just shot her down in a whole series of her dad failing to drag her away from her wild dreams through fighting, Zack accomplishes it just by reminding her how the law works.

Kasumi is safe! ...Apart from all the evil clones sent after her. But Ayane is finally leaving her alone!

Helena in the ending. My gosh, the way she just shuts NiCO down and calls her out on failing to move on healthily is a good message about properly dealing with grief and really shows how much she’s grown in the series from the vengeance seeker she started as.

I genuinely liked the addition of Marie Rose. She had a cool design and her character was really charming. The team could easily have made her super annoying, but she was pretty solid, and I appreciate that.

Kokoro’s dress with the beret. It’s just too cute!

I still love kicking opponents off the stage.

Still glad the series hasn’t decided to sink into hyperrealism.

COLORS! ...Those are dying in video games. :( 

The story for the most part is interesting and every character gets to shine in their own special way.

Diego was really cool, I always love the addition of an untrained street fighter keeping up with these professional martial artists, it really goes to show that in a fight anything can happen.

I really loved watching Tina and Bass become a tag team, aww! Tina does love her daddy!

The costumes, as always, are awesome.

Vibrant backgrounds, as expected.

The fact that it happened! I was worried I’d never see my sweet Kasumi again!

Alright! Now that we got all the things I unquestionably loved about the game down, here are some things I feel the game was missing.

ADD:

MORE KASUMI! If she’s your heroine, give her more screen time! (What do you mean I’m biased?!)

Have some more time with Kasumi, Ayane and Hayate, show just how conflicted they are by their tragic circumstances when they have to work together when they all know that they will never be able to go back home together. That ending scene was bittersweet, but I feel like they could have done more.

Bring Bayman into the alliance? I mean, he does want revenge on Phase 4. I get that he kinda works with them, I just think they could use him more.

Have Kasumi have a fight with the main Phase 4? I think it’d be interesting to have this clone weapon, who hates that she hurts people, face off against the original who’s now accepted the brutality of the world and will show no mercy to those who stand in her way. I feel like it’d give Kasumi some introspection and see just how much she’s changed; in a way, Phase 4 is a lot like how Kasumi started: she didn’t want to hurt anyone and make enemies, but she couldn’t do anything about it. The difference is Kasumi became the way she is because of her own choice and beliefs while Phase 4 literally can’t stop herself.

Have Lisa explain herself, geez! What is up with this woman?! What are her goals exactly?! Wait...how is she still alive?! Woman straight up had a building fall on her! Why are we just letting her walk away?! LISA!! GET BACK HERE!! WHAT’S YOUR DEAL WOMAN?!!!

So...I guess we still don’t get to beat the crap out of Donovan? Sigh...guess they’re saving that for 7. Hopefully.

And that’s all I think they could have added. And now, here’s everything I think they should have thought about twice.

CHANGE:

Really? You’re just going to bring Raidou back for the final boss? Really?  Why not use prime Phase 4, that would have been interesting, a final boss who doesn’t WANT to be the final boss? Come on DOA, you’re better than this! You had seven years to make a final boss! If you couldn’t think of one, just go DOA2 and pull something random out! There’s even another tengu you could have used! Who even remembered Raidou at that point?!

LESS. HONOKA. My gosh, she’s annoying! I’m sorry, I’m sure she has fans, but she just irritated me! Not only was she shoehorned into the plot, but she’s also a total Mary Sue! And that voice, AAAAGGGGHHHH! This is not a knock on Kira Buckland, she’s cool and great at her job, but AAAGGGHHHH! With so many three-dimensional and interesting characters, she just falls flat (metaphorically, of course).

Was Nyotengu actually necessary? I get that the tournament itself is just a distraction now, but she honestly bored me.

Why does Helena’s mother need to come back to life? Seriously, what did M.I.S.T. see in reviving one of the mistresses/mothers of their rival? Is this supposed to like torture Helena or something? This was just unnecessary, there was no reason for this. Sorry Maria.

Oh, so Rig’s mind controlled now? Would have been great if they had foreshadowed that in 5. You know, so it wouldn’t have come out of nowhere and helped explain his whole 180 when he was introduced!

Does Jann Lee really need another rival? Just focus on Lei Fang, she’s awesome!

Bit more meta, but did Rig and Christie really need new voice actors? The new ones are fine, but it just seemed unnecessary.

I’m really mixed about how story mode is laid out in modern DOA. On the one hand, putting everyone’s stories in one playthrough really makes it hard to really get attached to one, which I think is a very important aspect of fighting games. On the other, doing it in this style really helps keep the general plot coherent and easier to follow. I think a good way to handle this would be to make different story modes; a campaign to follow the whole vs. Donovan storyline and a different one that has each character’s individual story outside of the main plot.

Alternatively, divide the story between the tournament and the fight against Donovan; ‘cause I don’t think the Mugen Tenshin clan and their allies are going to be in any tournaments anytime soon.

BRING BACK UNLOCKABLE OUTFITS! Outfits may be understandable for DLC, but it’s just so much easier to unlock them all! I’m not made of money!

Even with all these negatives, I still had a great time playing! It was great to see the cast I loved so much (with one in particular) come back and beat the crap out of each other and I can’t wait for the next one!

...In five years.

[retphienix]

Ah. What a game this has been so far.

Now I had a million thoughts I wanted to share as this played out, lord knows I’ll forget a good portion of them but that’s the nature of my own ineptitude- plenty of things I’ll remember MILES after this post or only if prompted in a specific way and that’s just how it is.

To start- this isn’t the end of DQ11 for the blog just yet. I usually don’t dive into post game unless it feels right or people ask and I’m convinced- and more or less both happened this time. It does feel right- I have definite goals I want to tackle before saying I’m happy with what I did here- and more than one person has mentioned that the post game is worth touching so I’ll be doing that.

Also, for those unfamiliar with my long winded utter mess of a finale post style I go for- this is a lot of rambling as I try my best to touch on my thoughts on the game overall because I like to share. Feel free to just press “J” on your keyboard and skip right passed this- I know **I** struggle to focus my eyes to read long winded posts so I won’t blame you.

Also also, in order to try and spark some of those thoughts I had during this recording the first bit is gonna be me re-watching it as I wait on the video to finish processing and saying what comes up.

To start- really wish there was a save point there lol. I get that it’s a painfully easy backtrack to the save point at the start of the castle- but still, I like convenience.

The Dark Lord’s first form is a huge step up from his form before absorbing Yggdrasil and this first form fight was fun and had me itching to say some good things about it but honestly? I want to save praise for the fight that deserves it- phase 2.

PHASE TWO THOUGH!? GOD TIER RPG FIGHT.

I’ve seen better, sure, but come on, we’ve ALL seen better at all times on all things especially considering preferences coming into it- this was a 10/10 boss fight, top to bottom.

Design? Beautiful. Even continued the DQ obsession with puns with his tail being Mordragon, that is so PERFECT so ‘chef kiss’ flawless and it’s just a name. I LOVE how he looks. I LOVE how he moves around the arena changing which head you’re facing.

I love how each had different strengths to contend with (which I abruptly fucked up, don’t call me out, I’ll prove I know what was going on right here and right now-). The dragon had strong melee and breath attacks while the dark lord himself had magic aplenty.

I even utilized swapping out for the first time ever not because I hadn’t seen the value beforehand (I’ve spoken on how interesting a strategic option it was seeing as every unit has unique moves to bring to the table and it costs nothing but ATB for that unit to do).

Now, I fucked that up, but I did it purely because this is the first fight up to this point that felt right to do so. It’s the first time the tactical value of switching out to buff defenses with Hendrik outvalued ignoring that option and maintaining my ATB on whomever I would switch out. THAT FELT SO GOOD! And then I let my braindead fingers buff defense on a magic phase and you see the point. It was brilliant but I was not!

I did end up ignoring the option after a few turns not because the value wasn’t there, but because he ALSO spams stat neutralizing moves which made me reconsider focusing so heavily on buffs and instead focusing on maintaining steady heals (mostly with Hustle dance).

This fight? Beautiful. I loved every second of it. I loved adjusting my playstyle on the fly, I loved finding my footing. I just loved it.

Beyond that- the ending. I got a chuckle out of how abrupt the credits come in. It seems to wind up for an end sequence only for Erik to say “Well, let’s go home” and it cuts to the credits- but THEN the credits ARE the end sequence so it wasn’t ACTUALLY as abrupt as it seemed, but it got a laugh out of me.

Now those credit scenes? I’m a sucker for games that make you fall in love with the characters and this was an ending catering to those characters. Not too much to say outside of “I was smiling the entire time” which is true.

There were a couple moments in that sequence that I said aloud “JUST HUG HIM YOU COWARD” to various characters, like Hero and Rab, or the two dorks (hero and Gemma), etc.

And they played on the mystique of the post game’s content well enough to pull people in I’d say- certainly more than what I recall DQ8 doing with the dragon trials.

I am probably wrong, but I recall the game drawing next to no attention to that post game content aside from a few moments in the game dragging you to the location only to not let you access it (hinting at more being there).

Anyway.

Honestly, after rambling about the video itself I feel a lot of what I wanted to say about DQ11 was said during the playthrough just fine. I rarely feel that way.

DQ11 was fun.

As a DQ fan, you can best believe I had fun.

As a stick in the mud who is disillusioned toward the game industry and doesn’t like a lot of the filth that accumulates within it- I obviously have a few negative thoughts on the game, but there really aren’t perfect games so much as perfect experiences based on how it affected you.

And I’ve voiced those annoyances plenty I think. For completion sake there are cut corners on animations that seem off when other places have a ton of attention to detail, that’s like bottom rung “I don’t actually give a shit” stuff though.

The bigger problems were Sugiyama is a horrible piece of human garbage and the game is lesser because of his influence on it. There are plenty of reasons behind that both big and small. Big- it feels gross having a human shitsack touching this game after having been so vocal for years- there are replacements at the ready and we still have his LGBT hating, war crime denying fingers handling the music? Shameful.

Small (but man did it fucking suck) being that every five minutes I was annoyed at the music in this game. It sounds Bad. And I mean both orchestral and midi, it’s not great compared to anything he made before for DQ, but the fact that it’s midi in this is EAR BLISTERING.

I’m not one to listen close to most music while playing for whatever reason- and I admit that knowing who’s responsible is half of why my ears tuned it in instead of tuning it out, but man I couldn’t help it and it sucks.

The same 3 second ear rattling loops are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Grandiose moments are cut short by bland midi tunes. MAIN STORY MOMENTS ARE LACKING MUSIC ALTOGETHER FOR SOME REASON? When the hero gets the flute and plays it for the first time it just DIDN’T MAKE A NOISE? Subsequent uses of the flute made a noise, but not the main first cutscene?

It’s a whole thing.

And don’t make me get that dirty capitalist pain in my chest over the fact the S version was released 2 months after this and includes so much content that SCREAMS “This already existed and we diced and quartered it specifically to create the illusion of ‘value’ for this release”. Disgusting, man. :/

Gameplay wise, the biggest complaint I have is so loaded and half hearted but I have to say it anyway.

DQ is good because it’s simple.

DQ can also be a little lacking because it’s simple.

This was the second most fun I’ve had playing a main series DQ game (DQIII just hits right), and it definitely has better gameplay (so my opinion is subjective) than the one I prefer to this. But it was also a bit too simple... But you can’t change that and be DQ, it’s complicated.

To just say it- other than the final boss every encounter was a bit too easy. And I know I overlevel, I know that’s the point, I know there’s a hard mode modifier- I KNOW, but the final boss was REALLY GOOD AND still not too hard, so the fact that most every other encounter did the minimum or the minimum +1 is a little tiny (just a bit) disappointing because the gameplay could have been that much better.

But. That could just be my head spinning tales and being a biased asshole especially since I’m not offering any solution here and I’m admitting it’s both “better than my favorite gameplay in the main series” and “probably can’t be made more involved without losing DQ simplicity”.

But I’d kill for some different or new systems on top of this- dual and triple techs from Chrono instead of RNG pep, bosses with more varied strategies instead of “stun 2-3 and do raid wide attack”.

A reason to care about elemental damage (both incoming and outgoing), plenty of little things that would just make the already solid as hell combat more interesting to participate in.

Story was honestly fantastic. I didn’t know how I was going to end that until I just let it come. It was. This is the best DQ story thus far, and not to limit it to that scope- this was a GOOD DAMNED STORY overall and I’ve played a fuckload of games with good stories.

Before this I was a sucker for the original trilogy’s overarching story, which is unfair because that’s 3 games and that’s an old story and it’s only “good” because it’s unprecedented. But this is just plain great.

It writes such beautiful characters- it tackles a variety of conflicts both big and small- you have Sylv and his dad, you have a possessed king declaring his daughter Jade dead and Jade knowingly betraying him without knowing he’s possessed, you have Erik giving up on life and only putting himself so deeply into this adventure as a means of escape, you have Hendrik’s loyalty being- I can’t pretend Hendrik fits in he’s fucking stupid and needs to ask questions because loyalty for the sake of loyalty isn’t interesting at all lol.

You have Rab believing the world is doomed and doing all he can with Jade up until they find you are alive. You have the INCREDIBLE story of Veronica and Serena- you have all these intensely lovable and understandable characters (and Hendrik) and the story is so much more about them than just about the dark lord and the hero.

It’s so much more about each of their conflicts and growth because all of that is HOW the hero will defeat the dark lord.

It’s just so much more... investing than any of the stories I’ve had in DQ before and strong as hell amongst stories beyond just DQ.

I loved this. It was emotional at times, it was downright depressing at times which I wouldn’t expect DQ to successfully hit, it was downright rewarding getting to know these characters and I feel fantastic having beaten this.

This game is fucking good. I finally understand why some people have told me this is their favorite DQ now. It... yeah I think it might be mine too.

I’d be much more likely to revisit DQ3 than this because it’s shorter and has a specific kind of RPG (class based with freely recruited partners instead of named party members) I find more fun to revisit, but yeah, I think I agree.

I think for main-series DQs this is it, this is my favorite. It has to be, right? It’s got so many INCREDIBLE story moments and it’s pretty and it plays great- yeah. Hell, Sylvando as a character and Serena and Veronica’s arc BY THEMSELVES convince me of that.

Still got nothing on DWM and DWM 2 on the GBC, WOOOOT! Didn’t expect this post to divert from a serious closing thoughts (despite there being a few more posts to come) topic to posting this did you?

Behold the true faces of DQ perfection.

[neverheardnothing]

rewatching joe iconis and family lincoln center performance at 4 am instead of packing or sleeping just to feel something and i have so FEW and so MANY thoughts and yall are gonna hear em all. no i will not put this under a cut. im going to be an absolute bastard about this.

i love the story joe tells about why he's singing mitb as the first song so much. like. the spite of it all. the defiance of it all. the pride of it all. the dig it or fuck off and disappear of it all. the joe iconis of it all. 

“i know exactly the song im going to sing as my first song at the american songbook series.” i love that he highlights the fact that this is the american songbook series.

then immediately jumping right into broadway here i come with molly hager, the other song he is most known for!!!

every time i think about this performance i think about how this was the first (?) time this song was performed by them since the closing of bmc.

and then lance rubin comes up to sing try again. which is the only time that i know of that anyone but joe has sung this song.

i remember a remark made during watching it live that having someone else sing the song made it seem so clearly more about joe and his career. but also having lance sing it immediately makes me think of bbh closing early which yeah is part of joe’s career but also lance’s.

and also the line “if you’re an actor and another actor gets the part you auditioned for” reminds me of how lance found the auditioning process of acting and the whole [not acting part] of an acting career to be terrible which is why he quit to then become an author and the juxtaposition of him singing try again is Something. but also he DID try again he is just applying his efforts to a different creative field and it’s working out great for him. good for lance rubin.

lol i haven’t even talked about the actual performance aspect of this song anyways it’s very different from the two versions ive seen of joe doing it. he plays it a lot more comical. i love it.

sidenote not specific about this performance, but i love love LOVE the line and the music at “use the stairs, walk to the street. see the people, feel the heat, and apply yourself again.”

and also the line “when they cast you out to sea, there’s a lifeboat manned by me called try and try again” will never not make me think of bsol/last on land and bonus lance was also in that show! it just keeps circling around.

everything about these past 3 songs performed at this venue in this set list order in this moment at joe’s career is honestly so wonderful. like you had a songs about an anxiety attack, a suicide/loss of self in success, and repeated failures before this song all sung by individuals. two of these songs were written at points where joe felt frustrated/sad with his career. one written in the aftermath of specific frustration about the first closing of be more chill. one an actual song from bmc. like what a SETLIST for your first three songs! fucking michael in the bathroom, broadway here i come, and try again. truly something.

THE WHISKEY SONG!! i love hearing joe sing so much. while i think we can all agree he’s not the most skilled singer there’s something special about hearing a composer perform their own work. he adds like 3 levels of charm to make up for lack of singing skills lol. just a very charismatic guy.

lance rubin back on tamborine for the next bit of the song and he’s like laughing through it. not completely sure what he’s laughing about honestly but this Is a comedic song (after 3 real downers of songs) and also joe was playing it up.

jared weiss down on the floor with his guitar playing along. that’s its own bullet point.

audience cheering as more family members start coming on stage! i love that the band is getting cheers. love that!!!

the camera isn’t on him but from the audio, nick blaemire is presumably running around giving high fives to people in the audience.

i can’t exactly tell with the camera angle and the lighting but i think that more family members get up from different seats in the audience or at least enter in the back and walk through the audience to get to the stage during this instrumental break. reminds me of how joe loves theater that physically touches you. giving you high fives in this case.

love liz lark brown. she plays it pretty like. frenetic and frazzled. love it.

amara, badia, danielle, will, and nick are just chillin sitting on the steps of the stage. 100% contributes to the vibe of this song. top fuckin notch.

SOMEONE screams AH during the drunk part of the song and i cannot figure out who but it gives me so much life.

jared pulling lance down to the floor with him.

jason going “man.... this place is a dump” like i LOVE the irreverence.

everyone actually getting back up and also converging On the stage during the (kind of) acapella break.

and now your whole gang is up on the stage at the fancy ass appel room singing your what sounds like a mostly upbeat fun song but is actually about self medication with alcohol and it’s a fucking jam. i love the 3 solo songs and then bringing in everyone for a big group number.

sidenote not about this specific performance: the lyrics “i’ll pour some more and then—AND THEN?—i’ll pass out and then—AND THEN!” the and thens were not on the things to ruin album and i wonder why not ALL the time. was it just deemed extraneous? or was this an innovation after the album was recorded?

i love that you can see the band singing along.

yesterdays / i can’t relate. i love this song i fucking love it. i love the synthy keyboard that was an active choice made. which means that joe is not the one accompanying jared in this song.

jared: i hate today. joe: *snorts in the background*

“i like music you can hold” -> old records black suits, susannah’s obsession with music which was of course in vinyl format back then

will once said hearing lgw was very exciting because he’s first and foremost a fan of joe’s so he was hearing a new joe song for the first time and the world got just a bit larger and i think about that quote a lot in relation to this song because i was like Oh i Get What He Means now because this is the first new joe song i heard since like getting into his work and i felt that world getting a bit bigger.

jared’s monotone chorus on top of the girls underneath is so good. it’s so fucking good i cannot.

liz lark brown velociraptor fuckin classic. specifically in this performance the weird ass electric guitar noise at “there’s a dinosaur” is SO good. i love it.

i know people say Trans Vibes from next song (jeff) but this song also gives me trans vibes. i think joe inadvertently writes stuff trans people relate to because of his propensity to write for People Who Are Different.

people cheering as will takes off his jacket hell yeah.

i am way more used to the jeremy morse version of this song and really consider it more his so it’s so fun to hear will sing it.

i love the canon of the “oh”s so much.

after will sings “i go to the window looking out and what do i see? myself just staring back at me.” and someone in the audience AUDIBLY goes “oh.” like what a MOMENT. way more subtle than when someone screamed “WHAT” at the “naked korean girl” reveal during the pipe night performance but on the same tier of Great Audience Reactions.

smooth fuckin gliss bro i love it. arms out by side. i love it.

Classic Jason Sweettooth Williams Singing Helen. but this time they added like some REAL like. oh god i have no idea how to describe it. electric crunchy electric guitar noises. and it’s so good.

i havent mentioned this yet but in the background of every song people who are not in it or are backup vocals are just sitting and jamming along and it’s so nice because me fuckin too.

honest to god just have to give a timestamp for this but bullet point for whatever the fuck eric is doing in the background here.

will and katrina circling each other singing directly into each other’s faces. so good.

the Unexpected dynamic change and following crescendo i am Living.

katrina rose dideriksen riffing up top. yes. YES.

joe starting to play helen sharp and then forgetting part of his introduction to the song is so good.

the inevitable laughter at any performance of this song at “it is not lost on me you’re all here at my show”

i know nothing about the movie death becomes her so i honestly always just think about joe when this song gets performed. also thinking about how in the youtube premiere of this song, joe was talking about how lauren was shouting out the names of all the musical theater composers joe is jealous of.

right place/wrong time. i read a bsol review a while ago about how katrina rose dideriksen was underutilized and gotta say i Agree holy Shit let her sing More.

i also remember how joe once said this song felt the most personal to him and that he cried when writing it

police siren piano.

the first time in this entire song they sing in sync is at the line “i wonder if his/her life is just like mine” and i just start screaming.

when eric and katrina turn to each other for the first time and start singing At each other!!!!!!!!!!!

honey! thinking about jen ash tep talking about how Each performance of this song gets Wilder and Wilder.

love it when nick just gets off the stage and starts singing to people in the audience. apparently one of the people was will’s mom lol.

ACAPELLA BREAK!!!!!! joe just fully gets up from piano and starts WILDLY clapping along!!!!

woman of a certain age! i remember when the live show happened the album had not come out yet and then when the yt premiere of it happened it Had been out for a week or so.

piano note elevator bell

the electric guitar is doing some fucking weird ass things in this song and i am living so fucking much for it.

the riffs badia does are so fucking incredible i immediately paused this video to go and watch her sing big fat ruby again just because i wanted more badia content.

the story behind old flame is so good and joe waiting until the last fuckin moment to give her the song is so fuckin funny.

i love love love these types of joe songs that are like 7 minute long story epics like right place/wrong time and the actress and ammonia and old flame.

“the best way to get past the past is to shoot it in the head” and then the audience cheers and i fucking love it. my commentary is getting shorter. it’s 6 am and i’m tired can you tell. i also just had a lot of thoughts about this early on and less thoughts about later on.

revolution song. the deep ass fucking electric bass is So good i Will go apeshit. like honestly that might be my favorite smaller detail of this song. like i imagine if i were in the room it might be loud and deep enough that i could feel it In my chest. like you can Feel the revolution coming.

i love the faster tempo revolution song has in the cabaret version.

i also love the cabaret specific lines of “evolution in the institution”

joey is a punk rocker was honestly not ever on the list of songs i thought would get performed here but im so glad that they did. like the obvious choice would have been veins for annie golden but they went this route. obsessed with this choice. obsessed with the fact that amphibian replaced this song as the act 2 opener. obsessed that annie is the one singing this.

i am never not screaming about wave and yall know this. just throwback to me losing it in the tags in a reblog of picture of the wave passage going on about how it really does mirror joe’s career and bmc specifically. and again this song being performed for the first (?) time since bmc closed makes the “so today on a hill in las vegas” and onward part SO fucking sad i literally just started crying. the entire song being in past tense up until that part. i will just go die now.

will in the yt premiere talking about texting the line “our energy would simply prevail” in the leadup to bmc coming back.

find the bastard. for some reason when this happened live i thought it was gonna be outlaw that was performed. 

i swear to god it is literally physically impossible for me not to AT LEAST mouth along to “what’s your name, what’s your name” during this song

NAMES ARE FOR ACCOUNTANTS.

MY NAME IS AWFUL LONG AS IT’S THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG.

the goodbye song. it’s never not sad. i love love love that this song is the final song every concert. i also love the recent lore of finding out that penny dreadfuls was the encore song at concerts before they became too long and it had to get cut.

finally gonna mention the background car lights. what a beautiful backdrop.

also since im always on my wrol bullshit i love how fucking clearly you can hear him at the end

accelerando accelerando accelerando. insert [joe iconis peaked when he wrote the accelerando in the goodbye song post of mine].

katrina singing an octave up is always SO fucking impressive i am so impressed by her voice she is so fucking good i love her so much

the bows are so fucking sweet i love them.

goodnight it’s 7 am.

[four-loose-screws]

What would you rank all the fire emblem games that you have played.

Thank you for waiting, anon! This essay is finally finished! XD I don’t know if either of us ever intended for this to end up so long, but it did.

It’s interesting to see how each person experiences each game, so I hope everyone enjoys reading this. If anyone wants to ask questions for more details or just for conversation, please do!

I did a tier grouping ranking as well as ordering from bottom -> top, because that helped explain my feelings a little better. This isn’t really reflecting my nostalgia or personal feelings for the characters/world quite as much as “how much fun I had in my initial playthrough(s).” Because I think that’s what these sorts of lists are generally asking for.

First, I’d like to make a general statement about why I love FE games so much: Well, most simply it’s because I have more fun playing FE than any other series. That much is obvious though, right? I also love them because they all stand out in their own way, with their own unique combination of features, and because they are all super ambitious titles. It may lead to some rushing and half-baked ideas, but ambition is what excites me the most in any series. Even if the creators are not able to fully realize the ideas they had, the hard work still wows me as I play, and I can see hints of the full vision they had in every nook and cranny. Even the lowest games on this list are pretty high up there for me in fun level. The “fun but flawed” games just had glaring issues that interrupted the fun from time to time.

...FEs 1 & 3 are overall exceptions to the “unique and standing out rule,” being early games in the series; and FE6 set up post-Famicom FE, so it’s pretty basic, too - but they still get their own awards for setting a solid foundation for a fun video game series that withstands the test of time.

I can’t fully explain it, why I attached to FE the most over all other game series out there. But when I play FE, I usually don’t think about what’s not so great about the games. I just have fun. The gameplay always has me thinking, and I get engrossed in the stories and unlocking convos and supports.

Basic Tier

These games are really hard to judge properly in the ranking system, because they are just so basic for the series.

FE1 / FE11

When FE11 came out, I remember it getting so much flack for being really, really boring. But I didn’t get that. I like FE gameplay and storytelling at its core, so I don’t need the bells and whistles to have a good time. I knew this is where the series started, and was surprised with what content there was considering this is a remake of a game on the Famicom (NES).

FE1 set a very solid foundation for what the core of the series would be. Load it up next to a modern game, and it feels so the same and different all at once. I’ve only played a little bit of FE1 itself. I just can’t get through it because FE11 is SO similar to FE1, so you really only have to play one to get the whole experience. I didn’t feel like playing the same game over again at the time, so FE1 is still on my unfinished list.

Basic, solid foundation for the ages / 10

FE3 / FE12

After FE11 played it “safe” and took an “upgraded graphics with a few new ideas tacked on” approach, I was blown away by how much FE12 did, even if it was more for worse than better sometimes. It added so many conversations, was the first to tinker with the idea of a more fleshed out Avatar, added more story… and so on.

From what I’ve read recently, the new story stuff isn’t that great, but I don’t remember now. I’ve only played this game once. Overall, despite some clunk with the giant maps and so on, this game really challenged itself to improve from FE11, and it’s how I learned to love remakes that aren’t afraid to deviate from and add a lot to the original!

Set the stage for what kind of fun and ambition an FE remake could have / 10

FE3 is way more of a classic than any of us in the West can truly understand. It sold insanely well (the best in the series until Awakening I believe?), challenged the programmers to put FE1 on the cart as well, long before re-releases were a thing in the industry, and the game even made it to the Super Famicom Mini! I haven’t played it yet because again, it’s hard to get the motivation to play through the slow speed and clunkiness when I’ve already experienced the remake, but I’m looking forward to it some day.

The good ol’ days of the Super Famicom & SNES / 10

FE6

This was the first game without Kaga (the series original creator), so it set the stage for a future without him. The series might have strayed far from his plans for story and such, but this game, while it was pretty basic, firmly established a new foundation for the series on a new system, and gave a glimpse of what greatness the future had in store.

Overall though, this game is harder to commit to memory than others, except for classic characteristics like how terrible Roy is until, finally, BAM he gets his sword in the final stretches of the game; and running in circles from Douglas so you can avoid fighting him and successfully recruit him after the chapter.

Awkward, but sets a solid foundation for post-Kaga and post-Famicom FE / 10

Fun But Flaws Distracted From The Fun A Lot Tier

FE16

I really, really hate to say it, because this game tries to mix up the FE formula with the school setting and other new features and changes, and brought in a good mix of old and new, just like all the other FE games. But this game left very little impact on me for such a big experience. And I’m leaving out the fact that trying to play all four routes is dull as heck when I place the game this low. I’m basing it off of just how much I enjoyed the first playthrough.

Overall, I was most turned off by the class system. Which is funny, because I’ve seen others praise this as FE’s best class system. Everyone’s different. Classic classes like troubadours are just gone. The top tier classes are super limiting. Of course, you can just stop one tier down, but that’s not emotionally satisfying to me - I want my characters to reach the top! Despite having such free choice, I feel more limited than anything. If they’d just stopped at 4 tiers and not tried to go to 5, I think that would have been best. They had to stretch out the available classes too much to get to 5. ...Although being able to have an army of dragon riders is awesome, I’ll give it that. Dragons are too cool. 

I was also really disappointed by the story. Fire Emblem has established that it can write a really emotional plot, and not be afraid to pull punches, with games like 4 and 8. I was expecting a huge contrast between part 1, where everyone is friends and classmates, and part 2, where war rips them apart, transforms them into different people, and forces them to brutally slaughter each other.

But in reality…the hate between Dimitri and Edelgard has nothing to do with the school at all… That was jarring to me. Of course there is no one right direction to take a story in. But the worldbuilding and story writing… feels even less coherent than Fates. That’s an accomplishment.

This is the one time I say ambition was really just too much. The game didn’t get enough polish. A game about the seasons doesn’t even have seasonal differences...

While my friends who don’t usually play Fire Emblem have had a fantastic experience with this one, after all I’ve been through, I found that I liked other FE’s more.

I think the best part about this game is the characters and supports. After Fates had a ton of supports in it just because it had to have them, the creators of this game weren’t afraid to change up the support formula once more, so they could balance quality and quantity. ...And then, ironically, this game went for the (almost entirely) mute, personality-less avatar character. Funny how that works out. XD

Dragon Lord Army Go! / 10

FE14

I feel this game deserves way more credit than it gets, while also agreeing with the critiques. The ambition was as great as ever. But then it got stuck in development hell and we got what we got. (For those who don’t know, the team was divided in two - the team that wanted a more fanservic-y experience, and the one that wanted to make a standard FE.)

I think the gameplay is the best part of this game, Conquest is great, and the gimmicks are indeed gimmicks, but still fun. In offering three different experiences, the entire package will please few, but that was the point of the multiple routes, to give everyone one route they would like, not to please everyone with all three.

But beyond the gameplay, the story is all over the place, the multiple routes just create more questions than answers; and features like an increased number of support convos and children feel like they are there only because of a desire to bring back “popular” features. After multiple food/cooking supports in a row, I couldn’t take it any more. There was so little that the characters were actually talking about in their supports vs. Awakening. I generally feel that more supports = better, because character interaction through supports is of course a highlight of post-Famicom FE, but in this case, the numbers did not do any favors.

Bringing back weapons that don’t break didn’t feel well done, either. I just ended up using basic weapons the whole time because I didn’t want to deal with the drawbacks of the higher level weapons.

Back to a positive for me: The hub world was neat, though it needed some convoluted story writing to be included. I was amused by going through the different features and collecting the items. I agree with Nintendo of America taking out the “petting minigame,” but since I lived in Japan when Fates released, it was amusing to do on the train and weird out the bored Japanese people who peered over my shoulder.

Since all three routes were different, this game was fun enough until the end in comparison to Three Houses, of which I am STILL trying to slog through the last route one year after release. But Fates was made for every route to be different, whereas Three Houses was not, so it’s not surprising I feel like that.

But time for the real talk about this game… why is everyone’s HP so low??? What happened?????

Up and down and all around in quality from start to finish / 10

FE15

I really want to like this game more. Oh, do I. It’s absolutely GORGEOUS, the character art makes my heart skip a beat, the game proved that full voice acting does fit FE really well, it fleshed out things like the dungeon crawling & story, and added support conversations & skills, etc. while still staying kind of basic, retaining the feeling that the original was on the NES. The momentum for the fun and ambition that an FE remake could have transitioned well from FE12 to here and led to this being a stunningly presented game.

But the creators totally missed the point on what were the defining features of the game in my opinion, and that mismatch of vision ruined a lot for me. I loved the imbalance, struggling as I placed my units in corners of maps just to survive, until I obtained all those OP items, and my super soldiers marched into battle and did wild and amazing things. Valbar with +5 move and 40 speed with the Speed Ring is the one thing I remember the best of FE2 and oh man was it fun, and did I love it.

And I mean, I understand why the creators weren’t going to keep that imbalance, it doesn’t make the game good for everyone. It’s just something I found fun, and made the game stand out among the other FEs. But the developers really just replaced old imbalance with new imbalance, the dread fighters being the one thing I remember in particular.

And they defined FE2’s best defining features as “the maps and the terrain effects” and I just did not agree. That was the stuff I DISLIKED about FE2! And that’s what they wanted to keep most? The terrain that made battles one giant miss, and the gigantic maps where I’d spend half the time just getting to the enemies? No thanks.

Then the story only cranked up the horrible treatment of the women, with Faye… being Faye, and I hated the direction they went in with Celica’s story...  Ugh.

For every step or two forward, there’s one back / 10

FE10

FE games are always ambitious, but this one cranked the dial up to 10 and tripped over itself a lot. Still, it provided (even if it is info dumped) an intense and satisfying ending to the Tellius saga, and is another classic for the ages. I found the pacing boring and slow until then, though.

I think now that I’m older I can appreciate the story much, much more - and how it shows the story and aftermath of the Mad King’s War from multiple points of view -  but the lack of the support conversations, and too much going on for any aspect of this game to be properly refined, still make this one lower on my list.

If only I could have played it more than once, to really get a good memory of the events of the game. My Wii actually scratched up my disk (How this happened, I don’t know, and it’s the ONLY disk my Wii ever slaughtered). It only held out long enough for my sibling and I to enjoy one playthrough each. I’ll get to playing my Japanese copy eventually!

Part 4 = Laguz Royals Emblem / 10

Somewhere Inbetween Tier

FE5

The last of the Kaga games. Still clunky and difficult, but with it’s own super unique features in capturing, stamina, and stealing weapons.

The brokenness of staves is not at all a flaw, but a feature in my opinion. Encouraging bizarre thinking and finding new ways to plow through maps is fun. I would probably be critical if this was a modern game, but I think older games need these quirks to stand out among modern titles with better graphics and decades of gaming history behind them.

And you still can complete the maps in a more traditional manner if you are determined. I did even for Reinhardt’s map.

Also, I gotta say... I don’t agree that this is the most difficult FE overall… it just has the hardest individual maps. The difficulty spikes are all over the place. The game goes from bashing your head against a wall to snoozefest constantly.

Fog of war was a mistake though, if I was a time traveler, I’d go back and make sure the programmers never figured out how to include it. XD

Steal ALL the tomes! / 10

FE13

Experiencing this game and its release in real time was an experience. The fandom really, truly thought this game might not only be the last FE ever, but also that it might not get a localization. Thinking there would never be a localization, I spent a night of my first trip to Japan buying a Japanese 3DS and a copy of the game. I only had 2 weeks on that study tour, but I was so determined that I used some of my precious free time to go shopping for it. To afford it, I even used the money my college gave to me for food, then subsided off of cheap convenience store meals with what little I had left. I barely had any true understanding of Japanese at the time, but I wanted other fans to experience this game, so I worked as hard as I could to translate as many supports as I could. This game is why I got into translation, and was what I really thought might be the end, so it will always have a special place in my heart for that.

Now to actually talk about playing the game itself. I really enjoyed it the first couple of times. Who cares that pair-up and the kids were OP, you either blast through the game with them and have a good laugh, or ignore them, set some challenging rules, and enjoy having at least a little challenge. I didn’t care much that the supports were a little lower quality because of the sheer number of them, I eagerly awaited unlocking each one, and reading what the two characters would talk about. (We fans have fanfiction to turn to if we hunger for more development. :p) The bonus content was plentiful, and a great fanservice-y way to bring the series to a close.

After all is said and done though, the game left me feeling empty when I thought about replaying it any further. The maps and story felt empty in comparison to previous games. Now that it’s been 8 years since the initial release, I’d of course enjoy a replay or two, but after having played FEs7-9 5 or 6 times in a row before moving on to the next game… anything less than that level of excitement was surprising for me. I placed this game kinda high on the list because it’s fun when you play it. It’s just doesn’t have as much replay value, I feel.

Also, as a group, the children characters are my favorite in the series. They all come from deeply traumatic backgrounds, and the way they work through that trauma and navigate being given a second chance, but also not a true second chance because this timeline is different from their own, is endlessly fascinating for me. I don’t know if other fans give them enough credit, so I wanted to point them out in particular.

Would have been a fantastic way to send off the series, despite the flaws / 10

FE2

This game is flawed, imbalanced, makes me want to throw things, and it’s all, somehow, in a way that makes me LOVE IT. ...So long as I’m playing using an emulator with a speed up button.

This game is so hard, and the hit percentages are such garbage. But as I played, and unlocked more and more OP weapons and items, until I reached a point where the zombie dragons - what once took all my efforts - were an enemy that can easily be slaughtered in 1-on-1 combat... I felt so satisfied.

Old games need some kind of charm to make them still worth revisiting in a world of much better graphics and features that have now had decades to be refined. For me, this game has that perfect kind of quirky charm in spades.

The maps and terrain though… I have no words, just bash your head into the wall and you will understand how I feel.

Also, this game reminds me of Zelda 2 in it being a black sheep of its respective series… that’s a fun little nugget of info.

Duma’s sprite / 10

FE7

I don’t remember this game as well, despite it being one that I’ve played about 5 times? I don’t know why, it’s yet another fantastic Fire Emblem with its own ways that it stands out, managing not one, not two, but three lords, introducing the tactician, and so on. Guess time has just not been kind to my memory on this one.

I remember being really impressed with the length of this game back in the day, and Hector’s mode offering enough differences to make it totally fun to replay the main game again.

Lyn gets kind of pushed to the side (because that’s what generally happens to women main characters in Fire Emblem, if there’s a male lord around), but having the three lords was really fun. With three people, you get a great balance between all of their personalities, and they all play off of each other well.

Of course I loved Lyn and Hector, most everyone does, but I was always just as much of an Eliwood fan. His average stats pushed people away from liking him as much as the others, but I always looked up to his kindness. Eliwood / Ninian was an especially favorite pairing for my sappy teenage heart. Eliwood was just so romantic and sweet to me.

And though the game was made easier with international audiences in mind, the developers hadn’t invented all of the “easier/for convenience” features yet, so this is the last time we got to enjoy some “harder” features like needing to buy weapons during battles, and a convoy separate from the main lord. That’s cool if you like that stuff.

Unlocking the paralogues is hard though / 10

Favorites Tier

FE8

When it comes to FE8, while there’s plenty to like about the gameplay (despite the game being so easy, but again, like I said with Awakening, you can just set your own challenge rules), what I really love to ramble on about is the story and its emotional impact. Lyon is so precious and kind, but has so many inner conflicts stewing deep inside of him, leading him to elder magics, and… The Demon King is just ends up as a sideshow compared to Lyon coming face to face with his own demons. Both the characters - and many players, I’m sure - hope and hope to find a way to save him, but there just isn’t one. There are never any real leads. There’s nothing. Only the harrowing reality that some people cannot be saved, no, that some people do not want to be saved. The inevitability of Lyon’s demise, and seeing it all play out, packs a punch most plots can only dream of.

But it’s not like I won’t talk about the gameplay features either. Bringing back much of the best of FE2, the overworld map and everything to do really enhances the experience. I mean, yeah, I guess two side dungeons isn’t that much to get excited over, I can see that critique… but I didn’t care, it allowed me to easily chase support conversations, and (with some RNG abusing to obtain enough Boots and money to buy the stat-boosting items, but hey, whatever it takes) I could max out my characters’ stats and truly “complete” a Fire Emblem game.

Sacred Stones is so awesome.

Finally! A postgame! I sure hope the developers keep this up in all the future games… oh. / 10

FE9

This is the first FE game I ever played, so it will always occupy the most dear and special place in my heart, even if FE4 eventually won over as my favorite.

Do you believe in first sight? I do, and this is what taught me it’s real. From the first second of the first cutscene, I was enthralled. ...And that’s saying something, when the FE9 cutscenes are the kind of thing only a mother could love. But I just knew. I may have been a wee lass of 14, but I knew a love that would last a lifetime was being born. ...Or that would at least last 14 more years. I can’t predict the future. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and hate Fire Emblem with a burning passion? 2020 has taught me that tomorrow is always a big fat question mark.

Fun fact: in case you are wondering exactly what inspired my very initial interest in this series, it was a TV commercial. Probably this one. I just remember Ike running, of all things. My sibling and I both thought FE9 looked interesting from this commercial, and sought out the game all on our own with zero private knowledge that anything FE even existed.

This is where obsessions are born. Or mine at least. / 10 

FE4

As I’ve established, this is my favorite of favorites. The bizarre way money, arenas, items, and more were handled, actually made the game more and more fun for me. Big maps are just so fun. Gen 1’s story is a tale for the ages, and Gen 2’s story is… well, classic FE, which never gets old for me. It will never cease to amaze me even today what the SNES/S Famicom could handle.

All I’d want added is a “warp between conquered castles” feature. I’m completely neutral on a remake otherwise. Of course a lot more could be added and detailed upon that I’d be happy for, but that’s my one specific wish.

Calvary Emblem Forever / 10

Bonus:

FEH

I played this game every day for around 2 ½ years before I finally felt I had to break the habit, so I’m not leaving it out! This title got a lot of flack for simplifying FE gameplay, but… looking at it that way completely disregards the niche app games fill, and the interesting ways developers view what type of games app games should be, and how the developers work hard to both innovate for the format yet stay faithful to the source. It is surprisingly deep, and the maps + higher focus on unit skills make you think entirely differently about how to win in what is, in essence, the same gameplay as the main series.

Plus, what fan couldn’t get suckered into the fanservice of it? My best moments include attaining a +10 Nephenee while only spending money to get 2 of her, the other 9 were all F2P orbs; and becoming a Narcian/Valter shipper after supporting them on impulse because they were both on my flier team, and realizing the sick, twisted chemistry afterwards. Discovering rare-pairs is fun.

Also, finally, this game dared to nerf magic users a bit by making them RNG 2 only. If only the main series could do something like that.

I really enjoyed Heroes a lot, I just quit solely because it was a time drain. It was time to move on and play other things. And I’m glad I got out when I did. Seeing the game stoop to over-the-top powercreep (above and beyond what it was always implementing) and add the monthly service to keep the $$$$$ raking in was hard to watch.

Perfect app-style game gameplay-wise and fanservice-wise, but why aren’t gacha illegal yet / 10

FE Warriors

Oh yeah, this game exists too! It’s a Warriors game. If you like the formula and it never gets old for you, you’ll have fun with this game. If you don’t mind the limited game representation too much, you’ll have fun with this game. For me, the answers to those questions were a yes, so I enjoyed FE Warriors. Yay for wailing on hordes of enemies / 10

[themoonstarwarrior]

PLAYLIST SHUFFLE TAG!

Okay, so @viterbofangirl tagged me in this and I need to start learning to post my own shit, so what the hell, why not?

Rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 15 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

(I couldn’t stop at 10 so I added 5 more, sue me)

I have very random music taste and I listen to my music on shuffle alot, so I made a playlist of the ones I like the most (that way I don’t hafta skip 150 songs to get to the one I feel like) so I’m gonna use that one.

1) History of Violence - Theory of a Deadman

Hoo boy starting off light huh?.... Yeah so, I was in the drive thru at Sonic when I first heard this on the radio and was immediately like “holy shit”. Instead of like metaphors and poetic subtlety, it’s just straight up like “here’s a poor abused woman who resorted to murdering her shitty boyfriend/husband cuz she couldn’t take it dum dum dum”. Even though the actual situation is not the same, this song is perfect for getting across the internal issues and turmoil of my character Mikey. Its so perfect I’m even planning to animate something for it...... if I ever get around to learning animation that is.....     

2) The Vengeful One - Disturbed

Two songs in and I look kinda emo.... But hey this song is soooooo cathartic! I love me a good heavy rock song, and the drums and electric guitar are perfect for my ears to absorb. This song gives off a feeling of overwhelming power mixed with a coldness and disdain for the bad in the world. Obviously, thats not my usual temperment, but its an interesting one to explore! Especially when I’m trying to get into the head of characters that exude that like my OCs Spark or Ryu. Plus its fun to sing in the car X)

3) Enter Sandman - Metallica

Okay this one is just a classic! Same thing with the drums and guitar they both slap SOOOOO GOOD. I don’t really associate this song with any of my characters or fandom favorites, but it DOES give me a super strong urge to learn the drums. EXXXXXXXXIT LIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND!!

4) We Are Giants - Lindsey Stirling ft. Dia Frampton

I don’t really to listen to music by band or artist, but I LOVE Lindsey Stirling!!! She’s probably my favorite musician! This is such a good song, especially for someone like me. Its a positive song that talks about feeling alone in a crowd and unimportant to the world, but how you really do matter and shouldn’t be afraid to dream big and shoot for the stars. It really speaks to me and the vocalization is so good (especially for singing), not to mention the official music video is animated and AMAZING!

5) Cetus - Lensko NCS

I dunno if anyone knows this song, but damn its good. Its one of those Royalty-Free songs that people look up for their channels, which is how I found it in the first place, but I loved it immediately. Its a peppy 8-bit electronic bop that turns a little Irish jig at the end and honestly I think if I ever start an animation channel I’m totally gonna use it! (Also go support Lensko he make good beats!)

6) Sanctuary - Utada Hikaru

I did not grow up with Kingdom Hearts, and only played KH2 within the past year n’ a half. But good God, the moment that Cinematic Opening came on and this song started playing I swear I astral projected into a daze of feelings without names. I know that “Simple and Clean” is the quintessential Kingdom Heart song that gives everyone feelings, but IMHO Sanctuary blows it out of the water. As beautiful as the animation was, or how curious the occasional backwards lyrics are, or how weird it is having high-res Goofy and Donald in what is essentially an anime opening, I really can’t be distracted from this song when I play.

7) Chemical Plant Zone (Rock Remix) - Zerobadniks

Chemical Plant Song is like, one of the TOP Sonic songs by popular vote (and we know how awesome the Sonic series is musically so thats saying something!), but I could never quite vibe with the normal 8-bit version. I think I first heard this as someone’s ringtone and was immediately like “THATS PERFECT THATS EXACTLY HOW I NEED IT!”. The rock makes the song soooo much better and honestly gives the song the perfect vibe. Unfortunately, it took FOREVER to find cuz none of the Rock Covers of this song were the right one. In fact, tbh, I’m not even sure whether Zerobadniks is the correct artist..... that’s just who everybody was crediting when I found it. 

(imma include the link i found since its a little hard to find: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqJiZEM6aPI )

8) The Wolf - SIAMES

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEOS???? THIS IS A GOD-TIER ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEO. I found the video first, and seriously, if you haven’t seen it YOU NEED TO!!! The beat works perfectly with the images on screen and the story being portrayed is really intriguing, with the lyrics adding to atmosphere without necessarily describing the visuals shown. Even without the animation, the song itself is a banger. It bring to mind the feeling of intense motion forward, but unable to decide whether its movement TOWARD something or AWAY from something. I love listening to this on a nighttime drive.

9) Burn the House Down - AJR

If you ask me, the best way to make a pop song better is to add either violins or trumpets. For this song, it was definitely the trumpets that first caught my attention, and the rest of the song kept me listening. I don’t really know how to describe the vibe of this song, and I don’t have a specific character or story in mind when I listen to it, so its a little hard for me to talk about it. I think the best way I can describe this song and what draws me to it is a feeling of nonchalant go-with-the-flow attitude to shenaniganry. Almost an undertone of “We’re hooligans in a situation that we probably should get out of, but hey we’ve got life and each other so why worry?” At least that’s the closest I can get to a verbal description heh...

10) Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell - The Offspring 

DANCE, FUCKER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN!!!

So this also has a KICKASS animated music video, but its technically combined with the song “Dividing by Zero”. Now the video works SO well with both, and the shifting artstyles reflect the differing tones of the songs PERFECTLY. However, I have a preference for both the animation and the song on the Slim Pickens half. Its fun to listen to and sing at the top of your lungs and its SO CATHARTIC. Again I cant really describe what my head does when I hear it, but I think you can probably feel a similar vibe if you watch the music video. 

11) No Heaven - DJ Champion

The first time I finished the original Borderlands, I had been playing for days on end, had just finished a long battle with the Destroyer, and sitting back relieved to have beaten it and reflecting on how much I had enjoyed the adventure. Then this song started playing. For what I believe was forty minutes this song looped on my TV while the credits rolled. By the time the credits finished I was pulling up the song to listen to again! What an absolutely PERFECT cherry to add to this experience. This song perfectly encapsulated the chaotic, trigger-happy, morally ambiguous craziness that I had enjoyed and absorbed in this game. Every time I hear it now, I imagine myself in the wastelands of Pandora, driving haphazardly across the sandy dunes as my companions and I shoot and blow up everything in sight. You know, living the dream.......     

12) Hit & Run (Wolfgang Lohr Remix) -  The Electric Swing Circus

I fucking LOVE electro-swing! The electronic beats and rhythm blend so well with the wild and energetic freedom of swing. A lot of electro-swing gives me a vibe of wild movement, reckless abandon, and freedom from constraint. I think this song melds all of these feelings the best! As the last song might have indicated, despite my general nice and sweet temperament, there is a part of me deep down that is an absolute gremlin secretly enamored with chaos, insanity, and a general disdain for law and authority X). But whereas anything Borderlands related has a more “morality is an illusion blowing shit up is real” air about it, this song is far more peppy. More of a “good-hearted but insane” type of chaos, like an 100mph car chase where you end up sailing over the train tracks JUST as the train passes.

.... I may have gotten a bit off track lol 

13) Kickstart my Heart - Motley Crue

I love this song, but I have to be VERY careful when and where I listen to this. I love songs that make me feel like I’m going a million miles per hour, like I’m gotdam Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, I may or may not have had multiple instances of listening to this song in the car and abruptly realizing that I’m going like 15mph above the speed limit...... So yeah, regardless of absolutely perfect it feels to play this song while speeding down a nearly empty highway, please be careful and drive responsibly!!!

14) I’m Born to Run - American Authors

Imma just up and say it. This song is a Sonic song; like not like actually from the series but a song for the character. This song encapsulates Sonic as a character better than some of his ACTUAL THEMES (and remember Sonic music are bangers!). Its a song about freedom, living life as it comes, and not letting anything slow you down. Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t make this song FOR the Sonic series, or even the movie! Speaking of which, ironically I heard this song right after watching the Sonic movie in theaters, so yeah there’s no way I can associate it with anything else. 

15) Opa Opa - Antique

Oh, what a PERFECT way to end this list! This may be one of my absolute favorite songs of all time! I don’t remember exactly how I found this song... I think I had just relistened to Dalar Mehndi’s “Tunak Tunak Tun” and was looking for other catchy non-english songs and BOY HOWDY I found one! I know nothing about the band or what the song’s about (its in greek and i dont speak it), but this song is just a masterpiece of retro, pop, and dance sounds. This song feels like the musical and lyrical manifestation of dance and movement. I really REALLY wish I could dance JUST so I can express how happy and free this song makes me feel! This is the BEST song for me to end this list with!

***********************************************************************************

JESUS, this got long..... Sorry about that XD. It was fun though, and hopefully somebody was vaguely interested in my ramblings.

Guess I need to tag people now? How about @tharkflark1, @rockmilkshake, @neonbuck, @drawingsdrawingseverywhere, @birthgiverofbirds, @puccafangirl, @kalcat, @biblestudybussybopsbabey, @monstrous-milktea, and @memecage! I think there are a couple of people here I haven’t talked to though soooooo..... hi, I hope you don’t mind the tag X)

 Anyway hope you enjoyed and/or want to do this too! This took for-fucking-EVER to type, so imma go fuck off and watch youtube or something now...

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #167

Hey, I’m not dead!

Yeah, sorry that took a while. Had a lot of real-life shit to work through, honestly. In any case, I finally sat my butt down to really crack down on yet another fun-tastical chapter. Tomoko’s actually doing what a lot of quasi-incel degenerates are afraid to do in high school and is taking an actual stab at self-improvement. Will karma rear its ugly head, or is the series now beyond that point?

Chapter 167: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Spend My Time Wisely unlike me

This is a really pretty shot and...that’s about it. Real pretty. 

Oh dear! The friendship disease has disrupted Tomoko’s gremlin-like body clock and has her waking up early like a healthy human being!

Reminds of that one Gintama episode. You know, that one with Kagura and the sick kid and you don’t care, do you?

I know Japan prides itself on its cheap, quality goods, but Tomoko is a real penny-pincher, eh? Well, she’s a Gen Zer, so I can’t complain.

Not sure if this makes me sound like a perv or whatever, but hot damn, the detail on this model is stupidly good. I mean, just look at the patterning on that bra. You can really tell when Ikko’s really getting into the art.

They’re really milking the armpit fetish, aren’t they?

Tomoko...sweetie...my girl...

You don’t even have a dick. I mean, sure, you could find it fascinating from a purely educational, not-applicable-to-you perspective. And yeah, I suppose it could be useful if you were to start a sexual relationship with a noncanonical male. But to be honest, I can’t help but take it as more signs of your gender dysphoria here. 

I mean, hey, whatever floats your boat.  

Well, they say kids learn more about practical knowledge out in the real world than in school, don’t they? 

Then again, coughgoogleitcough.

I always thought Tomoko was just having some kind of psychosomatic experience when she talks about being de-energized from a lack of sexual stimulation. 

Now I’m inches from calling that shit an actual, physiological withdrawal.

Ah, the good ol’ days. Back when future prospects felt like a lifetime away and you could spend days on end dicking around, lamenting the need to get serious, and disregarding your resolve right after because you secretly didn’t really care.

...I gotta stop projecting.

Despite Tomoko proving time and again that she can be a crass-hole with a negative outlook on life, it’s when she does childish things like laying your head on your arm when studying and cuddling her plushies that her innocent side pops up and you realize that Tomoko’s a legitimate cutie. 

Fake-smoking? Tomoko, stop! If you keep this up, you’ll turn from a deconstruction of a cute, moe girl to becoming an actual cute, moe girl.

I only just noticed that Tomoko’s wearing a “happy” shirt. Remember when she was sporting the “alone” shirt back in year one? Even her clothes get character development.

Oh, shit. Your girl Yuu-chan talking this whole cram school thing seriously even though she’s at a disadvantage. You see, this is why Yuu is literally the best. Despite being at the “top” of the school clique food chain, she has not once ever felt like “bottomfeeders” like Tomoko and Komi were below her in any way. Sure, she knows they’re weirdos, but she makes those acknowledgments without judgement, and all while putting herself on the same leveling field. She doesn’t love them ironically–she loves them sincerely, and that’s why Yuu is awesome. 

Sorry if this turned into a ramble, but Yuu only gets like, one panel of dialogue nowadays and I wanted to make the most of it. 

Tomoko be raising that “phone-call” flag like a motherfucking chad. 

...

...

...

Oh, sorry. I saw Yuri with her hair down and lost track of time.

...

...

...

Damn, Yuri’s pretty.

Black leggings at home? That’s exactly the kind of conservative attire Yuri would wear and only Yuri could look amazing in. Seriously, If Ikko hadn’t become a manga artist, she would have made a damn fine fashion designer.

And Tomoko be crushing that “home-visit” flag like a motherfucking chode.

I could make a pretty tasteless joke about how “haha, Yuri will never look at you like you’re trash like she does at Tomoko,” but, 

a. it’s just the angle of the smartphone like Yuri said, and

b. you’d probably prefer to get denied like that, wouldn’t you?

I can’t help but wonder if Tomoko realizes just how homoerotic she sounds. Like, does she have any inclination that her borderline-sexual harassment jokes could easily be misconstrued as flirting? Sure, she might be using the old excuse that “we’re both girls, so it’s fine right?”, but given that Tomoko at least knows about LGBTQ+, you’d think it would have at least crossed her mind.

Or maybe, on a sadder note, Tomoko doesn’t see it as flirting because she really does have zero faith in her own attractiveness...  

There is no heterosexual reason for this exchange whatsoever.

Alright, so I’m a dude, so...hell do I know. But do girls typically not wear bras when just lounging around the house? I know Tomoko is the kind to just wear tank tops if she can help it, but I always thought that was a characterization unique to her, and that other girls wear bras for the comfort and support like any other undergarment. I mean, sure, Yuri’s kind of reserved, but I wouldn’t think wearing a bra at home would be considered an oddity, yeah? I ask this out of genuine curiosity, but I’ll stop before it gets too creepy.

Side note, you can officially tell when Yuri gets pissed by her nose crinkles.

I could give a long, analytical spiel about why Yuri didn’t give Tomoko a straight answer and speculate on what she was doing, but I eventually realized the answer was actually really simple:

It didn’t fucking matter to the story.

The last time Tomoko had one of these “I know!” moments, she ended up trimming her pubes on a class trip. But surely Tomoko’s character growth wouldn’t allow something like that to happen again, would it not?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Adorbs.

Can’t fight awkward with awkward, can you?

Tomoko, what are you playing at? You just said that video chatting was erotic and tried to get Yuri to lewd herself for you. And now you were planning to appear on-screen totally naked and you somehow don’t see any sexual implications for this at all? Finding it funny would be an elementary schooler’s mentality. If you seriously have no confidence in your sexuality, then sweetheart, you need some help. 

You ever notice that Tomoko can lie through her teeth when trying to screw with people, but when lying to be nice, it sounds so phony? I think that says a lot about the kind of person she is.

Ya’ll knew I was gonna add this panel, didn’t you?

I was never one to go crazy about blushing anime girls ‘cause to me, it always felt like it stemmed from some sadistic desire to see girls look uncomfortable. So while I can’t get behind it for reasons like that, I can admit that Yuri’s blush is fucking precious and I think that’s because I love seeing her so emotionally transparent for once. It feels rare, raw and well-earned after all this time, so yeah. A++ 

Oh, Tomoko, if only you knew that skill often has nothing to do with it. Yuri’s not embarrassed because she sucks at humming, but because you saw a side of her that she only lets out in private. Trying to reassure her is a good move, but putting the girl on blast like that is not going to end well.  

I felt like the vibration alone would’ve left a huge-ass crack on Yuri’s phone screen. This whole moment is like eleven tiers of funny because even though Tomoko is probably miles away, the impact of Yuri’s punch still jostles her. It also helps that we can visibly see Yuri’s fist come down mere millimeters from Tomoko’s mug. 

There is no escaping her wrath, Tomoko.

I feel you, girl. For me, nothing beats a good ol’ burger and fries after a hard day of studying.

Careful there, Tomoko. If there’s one thing that studying has taught me (other than I hate it), it’s that you could get serious burn out if you go all-out on the first day, especially if you’re typically not a regular studier. Always make sure to get dem breaks in. 

That sounds like the kind of line you’d see in a mainstream shounen action manga like [ ]. I don’t even have a direct reference here, so feel free to fill in the blank.

Hey, with Tomoko’s luck, I was expecting karma to hit her harder than Truck-kun in an isekai anime, so I consider this a small loss. 

Man, remember when we were young and had ambitions as high as the sky, and we all wanted to change the world by being firefighters, astronauts, idols, and presidents?

Kind of sucks that “financial stability” has become our goal in life as we enter adulthood. Perhaps that’s just the mindset creative-types like Tomoko have towards the STEM industry when it’s hard to see what makes that world so personally fulfilling. 

Oops, my opinions are starting to seep in, so let's move on.

Nooo, don’t do it, Nico Tanigawa Tomoko! Don’t sell out your passions for financial security even though it’s a totally viable career decision! How else are we going to validate the pursuit of our artistic dreams?  

How in the hell is Tomoko balancing that drink? I’m willing to let it pass for rule of cute, but I don’t care how secure that cup is. One wrong move and those practice sheets are done for. 

Jesus Christ, Nemo is on some otherworldly dimension of cute right here.

I don’t even think Tomoko is trying to one-up her or anything. This is already the most effort she’s given to study in a single instance, so I think she genuinely just wants to share this personal accomplishment.

You know, while it’s already been established that Tomoko and Nemo have different tastes in anime, that doesn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t watch the same show, right? Just for different reasons. While Nemo would watch her cute slice-of-life series earnestly, Tomoko would probably watch them ironically MST3K-style. In any case, it’s a good way for them to find some common ground.

Bruh, Nemo must be over the fucking moon for this opportunity. Think about it: when was the last time she’s had someone to watch anime with her? After concealing her power level for so long, this could be the first time Nemo has had a fellow anime fan to geek out over a series with. And not just discussing it afterward, but actually reacting to a live episode together.  

Nemo may give Tomoko all kinds of shit, but this is actually what she wanted all along, wasn’t it?

Boy, Tomoko sure gets pretty demanding when she’s sleep-deprived, huh? I’d hate to see how loose her inhibitions get when she’s stark-raving drunk.  

Is this referencing the Quintessential Quintuplets anime? I don’t know anything about it other than that’s a kickass title.

Hey now, Tomoko, beggars can’t be choosers. Let Nemo give you the play-by-play at her own pace. She’s even acknowledging that you hate the source magazine without a hint of judgment. She’s gonna go places.

At first, I thought all this recent armpit content was just an incidental joke. Then I thought it was the mangaka slyly inserting their fetish into the series. Then I realized the series turned the joke on its head and made it a meta-reference about their very thing their readers were accusing them of. 

Well played.  

You ain’t slick with that leg service, Nino Tanigawa. Just sayin’.

Seriously though, I love the dynamic going on in this conversation. Tomoko and Nemo are approaching the discussion from different outlooks, the former looking at it from a degenerate’s perspective and the latter looking at it more optimistically. But even so, they’re not trying to “get the upper hand” like they might've done before. They’re simply having a totally organic talk about what they do and don’t like about the series, while still recognizing each other’s personal preferences. For once, it’s completely devoid of passive aggressiveness and it really shows how earnest their friendship has become.

At some point, I think Tomoko’s consumed so much near-pornographic content that pretty much all anime, manga, VNs, etc. looks like the same hentai to her.  

Every fiber of my being says that this is a reference to Komi-san Can’t Communicate, but it could just as well be the mangaka shooting themselves in the foot for a good joke. In any case, I do like how they point out shy, socially awkward girls is a rising trend that borders on romanticizing communication problems. 

Does that make Watamote a hipster manga since it did the whole “social anxiety girl” shtick before it was cool? 

I wanted to make a pretentious joke about how basic that anime sounds and how I’m so above a show that panders to the masses, but even I like junk food, so I’ll spare you the hypocritical humor.

If Ucchi caught a glimpse of this, she’d probably explode right on the spot.

I spent a good five minutes trying to decipher how Tomoko’s sleeping expression could be seen as “happy”, and I realized that it’s not that she looks happy. It’s that she doesn’t look unhappy. I’d imagine that those plagued by anxiety and stress have it evident on their face when they sleep, so the fact that Tomoko fell asleep in relative bliss must mean she’s had a pretty satisfying day. To top it all off, this is one of the few times someone–and Nemo of all people–has seen Tomoko in all her vulnerability. 

And you know what? Nothing bad happened. No punchline undermining the moment, no sarcastic quip, no embarrassment. Just genuine sweetness and it really speaks to the series’ faith in its heartwarming moments.

As a final note, I just wanted to thank everyone again for their patience. I’ve been trying to put a fresh spin on this, making it a little more comedic since its honestly getting harder to “analyze” without constantly repeating myself. It’s a lot of fun, and I hope you guys enjoy it for what it is.

[wilstudies]

Get a grade 9 in a language GCSE!

Please note:

1. These tips are almost entirely applicable to any AQA language at GCSE. 2. Modern Foreign Languages at GCSE Level is anywhere from A2 to B1 (dependant on the tier and grade) on the CEFR scale, but, there is no official equivalent.

In November 2018, whilst in Year 10, my teacher saw that I was excelling in French, with my extensive knowledge of tenses and idioms. So, she proposed that I’d do the January mocks, alongside Year 11, despite not knowing more than half of the subject content. Then we’d see where I’d go from there.

I followed the AQA exam board, higher paper. Specification. You can find the Kerboodle textbook I used, here.  

Here’s what I did:

Throughout the year, I was also studying the Year 10 content (Theme 1 - Identity and culture) in class.

In my own time, each month I’d cover one or two units, completing the more challenging activities on each page of the textbook. Luckily, each unit was only 4 double-page spreads long.

In January I completed my mocks. This was the first time I had ever sat in an exam hall, so it was really daunting to be doing it with a bunch of kids who were older than me, even though I knew I had enough knowledge. Overall, I got a secure grade 8, in my mocks, despite not knowing half of the course content.

I also did “pre-exam mocks”, two weeks before each exam. These consisted of specimen papers which are notoriously harder, so my results looked almost exactly the same as past papers, which was upsetting as I couldn’t see that I’d actually improved. But practice is practice!

MY ACTUAL GCSE RESULT: 

With a lot of work. I managed to achieve a grade 9 (the top mark, higher than an A*), which was insane. I’m so, so proud of myself, and grateful for all of the teachers that supported me!!!

^Edit from 25/08/2019.

LISTENING

In my opinion, listening is based purely on practice and knowing the exam technique that works for you.

To practice: 

frenchpod101 intermediate listening comprehension

Going through every specimen track and listening activity I could find - pausing it after each sentence, saying it once in French, then translating it into English. I’d do this in the shower, on the way to school, wherever.

Know your vocab!

My exam technique:

In the 5 minutes reading time: underline keywords and themes in the questions. This time goes very quickly, but I’d also try to jot down a few synonyms in the French section too.

Multiple choice questions: the process of elimination; key vocab; negative and positive tonality and opinion words - watch out for negative structures!

Completing the sentences: note down words said in French or translate each sentence into English in your head, then remember it when it comes to writing it down.

French section: fill each sentence with key French words that you hear. Don’t worry about accents, unless it helps you determine the word.

Remember each track plays twice.

READING

The January Mock: I didn’t know much of the course content, so I struggled with the translation. I also circled and placed a question mark near any words I didn’t know, as it was a mock and my teacher would be able to note down any translations for me. I think what boosted my grade, to a 9 for this paper, was knowledge of grammar.

T/F/NM questions are usually a gamble. Just look for explicit information and know your negative formations.

Texts change their minds often: look out for counter-arguments and opposing exclamations

Use the method of elimination for multiple choice: rule out if there’s no mention. Be wary that a text can mention an option, but say it wasn’t that.

Texts often refer to things mentioned prior.

If you know a certain type of texts are your kryptonite (it was the classical stories with dialogue, for me), then download as many of that genre as you can. Understand the way speech and dialogue works, and the structure, before you tackle the vocab.

Many say skim read and don’t read the whole thing, but I found it easier to translate big chunks in my head as I went along and lightly annotate each text, which just comes with practice.

WRITING

Top tip: don’t go any more than 10% over word limits!!!!!!! Teachers say they have to mark all of it - no they don’t. If you do double the word limit, your last few bullet points could come after the cut-off point, cutting off access to half of the marks!!! 

90 WORD - 99 words maximum! About 20-25 words per bullet point.

150 WORD - 165 words maximum! About 75 words per bullet point.

Which brings me to mention, that you must cover every bullet point: those are your content marks, which cover about half the marks of each question.

90 WORD Question (16 marks)

Content - 10 marks: Making sure your writing covers each bullet point enough.

Quality of Language - 6 marks: Using interesting vocabulary, such as “malheureusement”.

Stick to about one page.

If you’re giving an opinion, great, just stop there. If you explain it too much, you risk going over your word limit.

150 WORD Question (32 marks)

Content - 15 marks: Every. Bullet. Point. Detailed.

Range of Language - 12 marks: get in those adjectives, idioms and grammatical structures!

Accuracy - 5 marks: correct basic tense conjugations (present, past, future simple/future proche)

In order to hit all of these I came up with a mnemonic checklist, and it scored me full marks in a specimen paper I did for my teacher! And I made it into a cute phone background, so I’d start to remember it, I still can now, hehe! You can find it here. If that doesn’t work, then download it here.

SPEAKING

Know your question words! (x)

For the roleplay and photocard, my teacher printed off me a load of practice cards in bulk and annotated two or three every day, using the planning techniques mentioned below.

Roleplay - 2 minutes; can be any theme. 

When planning, try to avoid writing out answers, but just keywords and gaps for you to fill in with pronouns or articles etc.

Keep it brief, one sentence per bullet point, but cover each part of each bullet point. 

Photo card - 3 minutes (aim to speak for at least 2). 

Plan with a small spider-diagram of nouns, opinions, anecdotes etc. for each known question. 

Use one or two prepped anecdotes for the prepared questions - e.g. where you went last year, who with, what you did. 

For the unknown questions, keep it short and sweet and fill up any time with opinions and reasoning.

General conversation - 5-7 minutes. 

Lie and make up stories! Be creative and use the words and structures you know.

I was a little extra and I prepared every theme as flashcards. You can’t get away with only revising your chosen theme! 

I made flashcards that could cover several types of questions: I had bullet points of topics and keywords on one side and a sample paragraph on the other. 

Pretty sure I made about 80 flashcards oops.

I also went through the mark scheme and see which areas I could secure marks in and which areas I needed to improve.

VOCAB

Learning vocab is SO important!

I started by making spreadsheets of jumbled word lists from the specification and doing a colour-coded match up. 

You can access a pdf of all of the vocab grids here. There might be the odd word missing due to copy-pasting errors, but if so, don’t stress, just look it up in a dictionary and note it down - sorry in advance!!!

Then with the vocab that I had to look up in a dictionary, I added to a Quizlet and wrestled it into my noggin. 

You can find the Quizlet here.

Remember that:

sauf - except

puisque - since

presque - almost

GRAMMAR

To me, learning tenses was like learning formulae for maths. So find a way to learn rules like that, if it’s easier for you.

e.g. Conditional Tense = subject + (future/conditional stem + imperfect ending)*

*note that future stems are the same as conditional stems.

Know your DRMRSPVANDERTRAMP verbs, and their past participles. These verbs go with ÊTRE and always agree with the subject.

Know your auxiliary and irregular verbs.

MUST KNOW: avoir, être, aller, faire, vouloir

HELPFUL: devoir, pouvoir, vivre, boire, voir, dire, savoir

OTHERS: mettre, prendre, venir, écrire, lire, recevoir

I learnt these by making flashcards, and then brain dumping them on paper over and over again until they stuck - my teacher thought I was insane, madly scribbling away.

Memorise some key structures that can be used in writing and speaking. 

If you want 7+ structures, find them here.

MISC TIPS

Always write notes about improvements and errors in practice papers and mocks.

Find a native french internet friend.

In my opinion, music, movies and TV shows aren’t great for revision. However, if you begin to understand them, they are a great confidence boost.

I highly recommend the Skam France series, which you can find with and without les sous-titres (subtitles) here.

And here’s my french music playlist on Spotify.

MORE ASSISTANCE

I’m happy to offer my assistance to anybody who needs it, pop me a dm or an ask if you think others will find it useful too. 

Here’s some ways I could help:

Finding some resources about a certain topic (videos, worksheets, mindmaps) - I have them all backed up hehe

Sending you some of my past answers

Sending you pdf of my general conversation/irregular verb table flashcards

Marking practice answers

Talking to you in french

Etc. etc.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog to help any others that might find this useful. If any of the links are faulty, please pop me a dm, and I’ll get them sorted asap!! 🥐

-Wil x